#banana hammock

[sfde8871]

🟡

[silvers-smut-memes]

Send in "Microkini" for your muse to make my muse put on a Microkini to the beach or pool.

Send in "Sling Bikini" for your muse to make my muse put on a Sling Bikini to the beach or pool.

Send in "Banana Hammock" for your muse to make my muse put on a Banana Hammock to the beach or pool.

Feel free to add details and remember to state muses.

[woopyfrood]

banana hammock

[roughridingrednecks]

[novaaldo]

[somebodysbitch]

[dizgreen]

I think I’ve been on here long enough, so it’s about time I talk to y’all about my Grand Theory of Masculinity.

Yes that is what I call it.

Foreword: I’m a millennial, I’m about thirty years old and if there’s one thing that genuinely makes me think “god I hate the new generation” it’s all this bullshit Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson shit about how to be a “real man.” I absolutely despise this narrative that being a man is all about only caring about yourself and forcing others down to build yourself up. I see it corrupting more and more young men every day and I truly dread the point in time that it takes hold enough to bring back toxic masculine fathers and grandfathers and RUINS an entirely new generation of kids.

So I decided to sit down and think about why it bothers me so much. I’m of the belief you can’t reasonably say you disagree with something unless you have some kind of reason or alternative solution. Thus, I’ve boiled down what *I* consider to be the true essence of “what makes you a man”

To start off with, I don’t believe that you need a certain set of genitals to be considered a “real man”, which is why I put such an emphasis on the word “masculinity.” I believe that sorting people according to exclusively their genitals or their preferred identity is a bit archaic, but I DO believe you can sort anyone, regardless or pronouns or genitalia, into specific definitions of masculine or feminine traits and behaviors. I believe in defining those things as two sides of a whole, like a yin-yang, and that it shouldn’t compromise someone’s identity in any way just for displaying or taking pride in those traits.

So, here’s my big definition. Are ya ready?

Safety.

Masculinity, TRUE masculinity, I believe, is defined as when someone has a certain aura that makes you feel safe or protected when you’re around that person.

Now a lot of you that are attracted to masculinity might be disagreeing saying stuff like “oh but I like dangerous men” or “no I like it when someone feels a bit scary” but attraction, which is a totally different aspect that’s specific to you. Even then, the VAST majority of people that say they like “dangerous men” typically mean “I like it when men are dangerous and threatening but treat me with love and care” and THATS SAFETY, BRO.

I believe that the true concept of masculinity has been corrupted overtime by the machinations of insecure and weak men trying to convince others that they’re actually what people want in a man. All the signs are there.

A man should be strong to help you feel protected.

“WELL IM GONNA GET ALL BUFF WITH BIG MUSCLES SO THAT NO ONE WANTS TO MESS WITH ME”

but you also have to show you CAN protect them.

“WELL IM GONNA FREAK OUT AND TRY TO FIGHT EVERYONE THAT LOOKS AT ME WRONG SO NO ONE WOULD MESS WITH ME”

A man should be able to provide for his family so they feel safe and comfortable in their lifestyle.

“WELL IM GONNA WEAR A SUIT AND CONSTANTLY BRAG ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY I MAKE SO THAT EVERYONE THINKS IM RICH”

you know you actually have to give them attention as well though, right? You can’t JUST provide a paycheck.

“WHATEVER, ILL GET A COOL CAR AND IF THEY GET ANNOYED ABOUT ME NOT SPENDING TIME WITH EM ILL JUST GET A NEW GIRL, ILL TALK ABOUT HOW THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY ANYWAY!”

A man should be able to be confident in his decisions so that the people around him feel secure and more confident in their own choices.

“OKAY SO WHAT IM GONNA DO IS WALK AROUND AND TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO FUCK OFF AND SAY I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM! THAT WAY PEOPLE WILL BE FOOLED INTO THINKING IM CONFIDENT WHEN IM ACTUALLY DEPERATELY CRAVING THEIR APPROVAL”

When I try think of the most MASCULINE MAN MAN I can possibly think of, you know what the image that comes to mind is? A dad. A slightly overweight dad with a blue collar job and a beard who works his ass off to provide for his family and then comes home exhausted and still finds the time to play a game of catch or wrestle with his kids. I believe that image to be the absolute peak of masculinity.

I truly believe that when people have an attraction to men or women or nonbinaries, they seek certain aspects of masculine or feminine behavior. I believe that when people are attracted to masculine qualities, if you boil down the very core essence of what makes them happy with a masculine partner, you’re going to get “they make me feel safe.”

Again, I’m not saying this is something you need to care about at all or should use to define your gender. This is just my analysis boiling down what I think went wrong which led to this bullshit idea that a real man needs to walk around and demean others and ignore his family and only care about himself while disregarding everyone around him.

I think if we use this one little core tenant as the base idea of what to consider “masculinity”, it could really help the men, women, and nb’s that are seeking a goal or ideal to strive for in what kind of person they want to be.

Sorry for the long post but, TL;DR:

Masculinity is when you make someone feel safe in your presence. NOT when you ignore or demean others around you in an attempt to look bigger.

So Fuck off, sigma bitches

[copias-thrall]

Swiss: <holding up a thong>

Aether: I SAID HANGER

[mysticnugget]

Inked and colored the sketch from yesterday of Abe waiting for you. :)

Bottomless version available on P@treon.

[starstruckmatureworship]

[novaaldo]

[dharma808]

Prisoner!

[avantroodles]

I just listened to Uprooted S2E2 and you cannot tell me that Booker plurting out "Banana Hammock" when asked a question doesn't mean he has got some fruity fetishism. All I picture is Booker just thinking about risqué garments for men while Bitsy is just bench presses in the corner with toilet wine.

This man ⬇️ is thinking about banana hammocks

[smokbeast]

my dummy boys

Bloobery banana

[darkwingsnark]

Do Pinky and the Brain in different swimsuits.

I mean, canon has given the goods plenty enough times.

But... Oh, what the heck, I'll play in the space just this once.

To ask for more wholesome(TM) things, consider a $5 USD sketch donation over on my ko-fi.

[cartoonshitpost]

I'm sure some of these jerks are much less dangerous at volleyball than Millie.