#when i finish it i have some statistics to share tho

[hopeful7]

i’m almost done rewatching mbav but i don’t want to watch the last two episodes because that means it will be over😭

[rottmntsimp]

Donnie x (gn) reader, where the reader is feeling particularly self concious? feeling as tho they don't contribute enough to the team due to not having mystic powers or not knowing how to fight, maybe they feel as tho they get in the way a lot? I know donnie isn't always great with feelings but I feel like he would relate to this problem and would know how to solve it in his own special way?

Much needed reassurance

Donnie x Insecure!Reader

TW: A bit of cursing (projecting cuz it's just smth i do when feeling a strong emotion lmao), using the lord's name in vain ( bro im atheist idk if this is a tw?), uh light jealousy (APRIL MAH QUEEN <33), mentions of stitching up cuts ig, light angst with fluff end <3 Oh and a pretty rushed ending lmao. Plus some slight ADHD projecting?? [Yes I got this req in September. Shh-] Thanks to @sleepytime-fics for title inspiration <3 /p

Donnie

You wince, letting out a hiss, as your cut stung in pain. Peeking out from in between your fingers, you see Donnie’s frown, not processing any of the words he rambled on to you. He let go of your hand, putting down the bandages, before moving onto your face to disinfect the scrapes along the side of your face, making you flinch in pain, listening to him chastise you for how careless you were.

“-I thought I’d told you to stay in corners. They can’t sneak up on you, if your back is against a wall.”

Sinking deeper into the mattress of the bed, you sigh, running a finger over the bandaging on your forearm, only for Donnie to slap your hand away. Rolling your eyes, you let him patch up your face, avoiding eye contact, because you knew as soon as you did, shit would hit the fan.

After what seemed like hours of nonstop admonishing and multiple rolls of bandages (which in all reality was only a few minutes), Donnie finally packs up the first aid kit, having finished patching you up. You stretch a little, before reaching for your phone, which lay on the far end of the mattress. Just as you were about to pick it up, a metal arm suddenly swipes it off of the sheets, holding it up.

“Hey-”

As you go to reach for the phone again, he just brings the phone higher up, farther out of your reach.

“So…” the mutant started, busying himself with putting supplies back into the first aid kit. “Leo informed me you, uh…got jumped-”

“Please, don’t remind me-” you sighed, the memory of being unable to defend yourself flashing behind your closed eyelids. Not only had Leo been struggling to take care of his share of the ninjas, he had to make sure you weren’t getting hurt too.

 Opening your eyes once more, you frown at the floor, listening to Donnie go on.

“Scoff,” Donnie scoffs, voicing his actions, “Well, if you let me finish, you would've heard me say ‘-you got jumped, are you feeling ok?’ It’s unlike you to get taken advantage of like this in combat.”

“Stop it,” You mumble, not wanting to hear about how you were unable to help, frustration rising as Donnie went on, not having heard you.

“I mean, it was just a couple of foot ninjas, and statistically speaking, you’ve done better before-”

“Donnie-” You frown, speaking a bit louder, but your words went unheard as Donnie’s rambling went on.

“I’m just thankful Nardo was there for you, don’t tell him I said that though-”

“Donnie!”

He freezes, facing you as his rambing comes to an abrupt end. Seeing the frown on your face as you shifted in your seat, your head held down, Donnie was riddled with guilt. “Were you,” he clears his throat, “Were you about to say something…?”

Silence.

That’s all he got in return, before soft mumbles could be heard, “It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve told me, it just won’t get in my head alright? I’m not a ninja, I’ve never gotten training-,” you muttered, as Donnie stopped what he was doing, focusing on your words- “Hell, I don’t even have a proper weapon!” you scoff, gesturing to Donnie’s tech bo, which lay messily on his desk, piles of unorganized blueprints and tech scattered around it. “Even April has one! April!” 

“Well, that is an issue can easily be resolved by simply paying a visit to the local sports store-”

Donnie’s words were cut short by the glare you gave him, as you went on. “But that makes perfect sense, since she’s just…so perfect,” you chuckled dryly, jealousy creeping into your voice, or maybe it was just self-pity.

Running a hand through your hair, you pause to take a deep breath, knowing you’ve already said too much; but fuck it, if you were going to get reprimanded for something out of your control, might as well let out some of those pent up feelings…right?

The only noise that could be heard was the soft whirring of the vents filtering air, and the sound of you guys’ breathing. The silence was eating you up from the inside, uneasiness hanging in the air. After a whole two minutes of silent torture, Donnie lets out a sigh, biting his tongue so that he doesn’t say anything he might regret, before finally speaking again.

“Where…where are you going with this?”

“Fucking christ, Donnie-” you snap, your head in your hands, as you let out a strong exhale. Looking up at him, you took a deep breath, trying to stabilize your voice, as a lump formed in your throat.

You mumbled under your breath, trying not to break down as tears of frustration formed in the corners of your eyes, your vision slowly going blurry. Why? The hell if you knew, all you could process was the fact that you were practically useless, and if that wasn’t enough to make you break down…

“I’m not as strong as you guys and I sure as hell don’t have any mystic powers,” you say, as a tear finally falls. One turns to two, and two turns to four, and before you know it, tears streamed silently down your face, as you tried to stop; but you both knew it was pointless.

Panic flashed behind his eyes as he noticed you crying. What was it you do when people cry? Talk to them? No, no, he was pretty sure you give them space.

“I always need at least two people out with me when I join you guys for patrol, and I always get hurt, and end up being more of a burden than a help…” You clear your throat, cursing at yourself as your voice cracks.

Once again, silence.

Looking down at the floor, you sniffled, using the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe your tears away. White floods your vision, looking up, you see one of Donnie’s mechanical spider arms holding a tissue out in front of you, his eyes averted to the side.

Nodding your thanks, you blow your nose, as quiet ensued once more. You both sat there, your minds occupied by your own racing thoughts respectively.

After what seemed like hours, Donnie spoke up, his voice soft, but firm, as though he were deep in thought, “I…apologize, for not realizing how you felt earlier. I should have been more observant, I should have been able to notice how you felt about all of this much earlier on… I’m sorry for being a terrible partner-”

“Donnie-” You just sigh, the adrenaline from earlier wearing off, as a wave of exhaustion washed over you. “I’m not calling you a bad partner, I’m just saying that…maybe I shouldn’t go out on missions with you guys anymore. I’ll just hold you all back, and-” 

“Hold us back?-” Donnie interrupts, his face going from that of understanding and thoughtful to utterly flabbergasted. Standing up from his seat on the mattress, he has a robotic arm shoot out of his battle shell and yank a chair over, as he took a seat across from your place on the mattress. He faced you, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, renewed confusion apparent, “You believe that you’re…holding us back?”

“...Well, yeah-”

“SCOFF! Never have I heard such malarkey- Oh Y/N, you are anything but deadweight!-”

You could only listen as he went on, giving up on trying to get your point across as he never gave you the chance to. Yet despite the affirmations, a nagging feeling stuck in the back of your mind, refusing to leave as he rambled on about your strengths, physically and intellectually.

His voice became nothing but a soft hum in the background, accompanying the buzz of the vents, as you spaced out. Why was he doing this? You aren’t worth the struggle, the effort… He’s always had to help you catch up, get up to speed on things. Homework, fights, hell- even simple things like staying on task, giving you something to do, to think about…

“-And just because you don't have mystic potential, doesn't mean you aren't a valuable asset to our group. There are plenty of other ways you make up for it..."

The nerve of this hypocrite; saying you’re useful while still in doubt of his own abilities.

"I mean," Donnie went on, putting a hand on your shoulder, trying to get you to look at him, "It's not like you're the only human in our little posse. April's our friend too, and she's just as important as the rest of us-"

"She doesn't count-" You snap, your voice raising to a higher volume. Donnie flinched, his hand retracting in shock. Wincing, you mumble a quiet apology, feeling a wave of disappointment and regret wash over you before going on.

"April's been training with you guys since she’s met you, she doesn't count…" You mumbled, trying to keep control of how loud you spoke. “She’s been there since the beginning, basically on you guys’ level. She’s known you all since you were young, grew up with you guys, trained with you guys, fights with you guys…all while kicking ass and looking good…all I do is stand in the back and cheer you guys on…”

“Oh my sweet Y/N,” Donnie sighs, looking up at you again. “What will it take for you to understand that moral support is better than no support whatsoever?” The pleading look in his eyes, the desperation in his voice for you to understand just how valuable you are didn’t go overlooked by you, as you just sighed in response.

“I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, darling. You are as valuable to our bunch as any of us are. Learning to fight takes time, time which you never gave yourself, which I’m gladly willing to change.

“And as for getting hurt…” Donnie put a hand on yours, making you look at him as he let himself smile, “I guess we’ll just have to start training.”

Taglist [ask if you want to be added!]:

@lemme-be-cringe-damnit @sleepytime-fics @ray-of-midnight-storm @hamthepan @charismakat

[stevethehairington]

Hiiii for the fanfic ask game (the movie, the sequal) 💖👀🖊️

helloooo!! thank you for sending this in! 💕

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

i think i'm going to go with either my characterization or my ability to build tension well. i've had a lot of practice with both and i like to think i manage to do each very well!

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

ooh hmm. well, i mean, im sure the answer is yes in the sense that i have about a million wips in my folder that are in various stages of completion (ranging from literally just the idea word vomited into a doc to i've actually started working on this to i'm almost done with it!) and there's no guarantee that i'll ever get around to them all, so like statistically lol some of them just won't 🤷‍♀️

BUT out of all those wips i have, there's none that i'm like intentionally keeping from seeing the light of day. like i've got nothing to hide lol.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

welllll the latest wip i've been working on is my bb fic and i can't share anything from that one (even tho i would LOVE to) soooo i will go with a lil snip from my fic currently dubbed of all the gin joints:

Steve’s nearly finished with his first drink when a flash of movement from across the bar catches his attention. A combination of one guy rising from his seat to make leave, while another sidles up to the bar in his place. The guy leaving is older, in his sixties maybe, and balding. He slides his arms into his coat and tucks a matching fedora onto his head. Steve’s gaze doesn’t linger on him for very long, though. Not as the new patron slips into the rare empty seat, pulling Steve’s attention. This man is younger, around Steve’s age probably, with a full head of hair. Long hair. Beautiful hair. The dim lighting casts a shadow across his face, but Steve can tell, even from across the bar — he’s handsome.

fanfic ask game

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Quarantine kink conversations

Henry Catches you watching porn and quickly discovers you both share many kinks.

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult situations +18 ,Smut, Daddy kink, Bondage, Overstimulation

A/n So I haven't been posting much as I've been struggling sorting things out over this stupid virus but I'm back but will post a little slower then I have been, even if Im not posting I'm writing. And as a side note Diamond Blackfan Aneamia is not made up, its a very rare form of Aplatsic Anaemia that basically means your bone marrow does not make enough haemoglobin (red blood cells) in some cases none at all its a horrible condition that I was born with and the reason that I am now confined to my house for a minimum of twelve weeks as the treatment destroys your immune system. Hence why I have been away trying to sort out food and medications ect which has been hell!! Any way enough of that I hope you enjoy xx

Taglist: @thatgirly81​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​

"Oh darling...look at all of that hm? Its dripping on the covers, such a messy girl" he said shaking his head a little tutting you watched embarrassed as he let it drop to the bed your arousal forming a small wet puddle beneath it. He crawled up the bed stretching out beside you and snatched your tablet from you.

This was hell..you decided..absolute hell you were stuck indoors on lock-down, now usually you didn't mind being stuck home with Henry ,honestly you preferd it but you normally found yourself tangled between the sheets or watching tv. Then again normally when Henry was home it was a break from filming and he had nothing to do but this time Henry had been down in the gym everyday keeping up his work out routine making use of his new glute drive or as you had dubbed it 'teasing thrust machine'. You could understand in some ways he wanted to make sure that he was still in shape for season two of the witcher when ever that was going to start.

But you were bored Henry had chuckled saying he would play with you after his work out....which you knew would last most of the day, you had been watching him earlier but got kicked out for 'pOuTiNg LiKe A SpOiLt BrAt'..you had bristled at him when he called you that..you wasn't a brat..you were a good girl, most of the time. Ok so you'll admit you had been sulking a little jealous of the equipment I mean the only thing that man should be thrusting was you and he had brushed you off then the little shit started teasing you with unnecessary grunts groans and a wink as he worked out.Bastard. You huffed kicking at the mattress below you growling and pouting in a small tantrum 'twelve weeks, twelve fucking weeks of staying inside what the fuck are you supposed to do for twelve weeks? that's like quarter of the year!' you was one of the 1.5 million who had to stay indoors for twelve weeks due to your diamond blackfan anaemia which is basically anaemia caused by bone marrow failure as a result you was on a corticosteroid that surpressed your immune system...Yay you just hoped that your blood count doesn't drop to far it'd just be your luck to need a transfusion and catch this fucking thing in hospital.

Tv was a no go every channel reminding you of the virus with the latest bullshit statistics and politicians giving the same ' we followed expert advice' reply to every question disregarding state that the nhs has found itself in. But this was driving you crazy just the idea of being stuck here for three months didn't sit well with you. You sighed rolling over on your back on the bed spread eagle in one of Henry's tshirts tho tight on him you drowned in it. You could hardly believe how bored you was there was so much you could do in this house yet you just stayed there staring at the ceiling.

You huffed again looking around the room your eyes locked on your little red bag stuffed haphazardly between the bed and side table, you smiled slyly you knew he wouldn't be pleased but he was preoccupied and wouldn't even know, its not like he was going to be finished anytime soon and you could always have a shower afterwards. Slowly you crept up the bed towards your naughty little bag of goodies. You had made full use of the valentines day sales in February and bought some new toys online intending on using them whilst Henry was away filming, however there was still a few you hadn't yet tried.

You pulled the 'makeup' bag from beside the bed dumping it on the pillow on your side of the bed and got up closing the door grabbing your tablet from the dresser. If you was going to do it might as well do it properly already knowing what you was going to watch opening an incognito tab going straight to your favorite video which wasn't actually a video, it was an 'erotic audio for women' you didn't really want to see some women ooing and ahing rolling their eyes to the back of their head like some fucking exorcism video as they got plowed by some stick figure 'stud'. You settled on the bed near the head board unzipping your little treat bag pulling out your new fully charged mini vibrator with tiny flicking rabbit ears sprouting from it .

Quickly getting to work you dragged it softly between your folds laying back with your knees up spread, letting yourself get lost in your fantasy one that you hadn't dared let Henry know, it was too early in your relationship to be going into kinks yet especially yours , you was still coming to terms with them yourself let alone letting him know ,hell he would probably run for the hills. No instead you let your mind wander images of Henry teasing you,praising you how he'd call you a good girl before caging you underneath his huge form asking if you was going to be still for daddy. Fuck. You twitched hips jerking lightly you bit your lip and lowered a hand to your lips pulling them apart running the toy to your opening teasing yourself into wetting the toy with your arousal then bringing it back towards your clit as the deep voice on the audio spoke low commands ordering his babygirl what to do.

You shivered as you fell into a slow rhythm of circles on your clit before flicking on the vibrator gasping loud as the ears came to life trapping your swollen clit between them. Oh yes this was money well spent you summarized when you unconsciously curled your toes digging your feet into the bed below trying to keep yourself still determined not to pull the toy away from your throbbing clit as your pussy came to life ,muscles rippling and clenching begging to be filled,you gyrated moaning out as your legs tensed turning up the vibrator you bucked as the voice on the audio praised you growling out just what they were going to forced your body into. You threw your head back as you slowly inserted the small length into you a tiny stretch nothing like Henry but still pleasurable with the tip angled slightly towards your gspot lightly grazing it , you cried out as you rocked the toy side to side within you rubbing it harshly across your gspot forcing shock waves of pleasure through you as your tummy tightened.

So lost in your own fantasies you fail to notice the door open quietly. You moaned loud finding that perfect rhythm obeying the audios instructions. Flicking it up a notch determined to force yourself to cum you let out a sharp squeal as the new intensity almost burned your clit, the little pain sent you over the edge your whole body shuddered as your back almost cramped as it arched your hips wriggling into the small powerful device ,you bit your lip trying to be quiet as your hand let go of the toy hovering uselessly between your legs as you jerked against it still having waves of your climax wash over you as the toy abused your almost raw clit.

Not able to take anymore you swore as your fingers searched blindly for the toy wanting to turn it off before you got to tender. You screamed snapping open your eyes as you grabbed a hot wrist instead. Mortified you stared at Henry making to move away Your squeak of surprise became a high keen as the vibrator shifted when you tried jerking away throwing your head back as another onslaught of pleasure overcame you, some how your humiliation of being caught made it more intense as you release over the still vibrating toy swearing loud. You couldn't believe he had caught you,he was hovering over your form one hand moved grasping the toy between your still quivering thighs twisting it slowly forcing you to buck you clit twitching as the flicking ears moved slightly. His eyes were dark and he had a wicked grin.

"I thought I'd told you to wait? I wasn't going to be long" his deep voice brought you out of your shock. You quickly made a move for the vibrator wanting to pull it out and hide under the covers.You mewled as he batted your hand away holding down the button stopping the assault on your clit, having sex with him was one thing but this was the first time he'd caught you masturbating and you was extremely embarrassed thankful that the short video had finished, thank god for small mercies. Your eyes widened and you quickly flipped the tablet cover shut putting it to sleep desperate to hide your kink. You flushed as he raised an eyebrow at you still amused  then without warning he pulled out your new vibrator making a fuss over the now soaked rubber.

"Oh my god Henry no!" you slapped your hand on it trying to tug it back panicked desperate to hide the video from him not ready to explain to him, he chuckled prying your fingers off and easily wrestled your arms into one hand holding them away from himself pinning you with his body weight ready to snoop at your open tab.

"You know I have always wondered what little kinks you have babe" he said flipping it open, you struggled against him

"Henry love please don't!" but it was to lat he had already begun to scroll threw the page clicking back a page looking at exactly what you had searched tucked your head into your chest feeling even worse then you did before. He was quiet for a moment ,you held your breath waiting for him to make fun of you but he didn't instead he closed the tablet again sliding it across the bed and tugged you beneath him growling.

"Fuck I should have known, shit babe you might just be the perfect woman for me" he grunted pushing his bulge against your still sensitive clit ignoring the damp patch you made on his bottoms you yelped jumping away only to be dragged back down onto him he found your neck quickly suckling at it kissing and biting.

"So tell me what other little secrets does my baby girl have?" You shivered relishing in being called his baby girl he groaned rocking into you.

"Hm? You know if you don't tell daddy what you want he cant provide it,come on baby girl tell me, I want to know everything" he grunted you moaned out as he tugged his tshirt off of you leaving you bare below him.

"P-pleease please I want you" you made to wriggle your hands out of his grasp but he just pulled them to his mouth laying a delicate kiss on your palm. Whimpering you pouted at his devilish smile.

"Ah ah you should ask daddy nicely" you flushed gasping at him "I-I but you and I'm not sure-are you sure Henry I don't want to force anything if your not comfortable-" he smirked at you enjoying just how cute you was stuttering over your words, it was so unlike you normally you were blunt and to the point, his grin widened and he leant in close running his nose along the new bite mark adorning your neck before whispering hotly into your ear

"Now now baby girl this is perfect i always fantasized about you being daddies little girl, letting me take care of you..why don't you tell daddy what you want ask nicely and I might just reward you" you trembled feeling your inner walls clamp tight you let out a breathy moan still uncertain of yourself he encouraged you again

"come on baby, if you don't ask you wont get tell me.. tell daddy what you want"

"I-I want t-to play daddy please? Please play with me I'v been a good girl" he chuckled sucking your earlobe into his mouth running his teeth across it then pulled back looking you in the eye

"Good? Oh baby I dont think so" you whined at him pouting tugging on your hands grinding your his on his bulge making him hiss he just squinted stareing down at you as you argued in a high whining voice

"Yes I haaaave I left you alone when you told me tooo don't be mean" he tutted tilting his head looking at you from the top of his eyes unconvinced

"And why did daddy have to make you leave the gym hm?" You stuck out your bottom lip pouting kicking your little feet at the bed he smiled at that knowing full well you was giving into one of your fantasies, unknowingly giving him one of his he felt excitement bubble in his chest knowing that he was going to enjoy himself, brat taming it seems was something you both had in common. He struck your hip lightly making you gasp and squirm beneath him

"Don’t be such a brat" he growled out at you, his stern voice made you pause a little before you grunted at him facing away from him nose in the air.

"Im not a brat" He chuckled sitting up using his thick thighs to keep your legs spread for him releasing your hands  crossing his arms at you unconvinced.

"Oh really? So you wasn't pouting down stairs? And I didn't just find you up here trying to fuck yourself silly out of spite? because daddy told you to wait? And you didn't just kick your legs at me? Hm? if you were standing I'd bet you would have stomped a tiny foot Oh no baby girl you are definitely being a little brat" you blinked at him innocently he just tilted his head at you. The reached over you grasping your small bag you gasped he wouldn't...he fucking would"No henRY- ouch!" He fixed you with a small spank to your inner thigh holding your embarrassing private bag up in one hand.

"Oh no little girl you dont say no to me.... now lets see what we have hear.... oh my I knew you had some toys stashed somewhere but baby theres quite a bit in here isn't there" he shook the bag slightly making the contents rattle a little you flushed panicking a little not wanting him to judge you, but so far he had seemed to be on board. He unzipped the bag going still at what laid inside, you cringed covering your face with your hands hiding feeling him stare at the top of your head you refused to look at him, in doing so you missed the grin that had formed as he noted what was inside.

Slowly one by one he began removing things his grin getting wider with each toy as he place them on the bed beside you, You snuck peaks at him as he pulled them out. First was a set of four pink leather cuffs with frills on each a big lobster claw on each to connect them as you see fit at the moment they was connected in a pair designed to cuff your wrists to your ankles holding your knees bent and spread they looked secure, you doubted they would actually hold you properly then was your wand vibrator a pastel blue this was followed by two more vibrators one just some rabbit ears on their own the other a red dildo that was a little larger than the one Henry had caught you with he held it up to you looking sympathetic

"Henry what are-" he gave you a heated look making you clench and whimper shrinking into your shoulders a bit.

"oh baby no wonder your so desperate when i come home...this is the biggest you have? my poor baby don't worry daddy will think of something to help you when he is away" you blushed as he spoke he gave you a smug smile then continued routing threw the bag, an o ring gag and ball gag then what you had really dreaded him seeing your new paci-gag the pink leather was decorated with small jewles here and there, it was something you'd always wanted to try and in the sale you'd thought what the hell and got one. he held the paci-gag in his hand blinking at you

"now this is very cute, but I’m not sure if we should play with this today, maybe you can ware it tomorrow for me in the gym when I’m working out" you closed your eyes groaning but at the same time you shivered in anticipation the thought of him gagging you and forcing you to sit and watch him work out was both cruel and delicious. He placed it back and unbuckled the cuffs with deft fingers stroking the soft padded insides making sure they would be soft enough running his thumb across it. Your eyes snapped open flinching as you felt him slip one around your ankle buckling it tight before slipping the top of his pinky underneath it

"Ah ah don't start young lady, its daddys turn to play and he want's to play with your new toys now stay still" you squirmed a little still uncomfortable but you let him carry on until your arms were pulled down your sides attached to your ankles knees bent high and pulled apart you quivered thrilled and frightened all in one, he sat back again admiring his work also wanting you to get used to it.....He could defiantly get used to you like this his mind already creating a shopping list... tho he wasn't sure if a sex shop was considered as essential but fuck if he wasn't going to check online to see if anything could be delivered,he was ecstatic that you was a secret baby girl and couldn't wait to treat you like one, he smiled as you tested your new bonds uncertain eyes darting back to him every so often finally you pouted a little huffing.. you didn't look impressed and he regarded you carefully

"I can't get out of 'em" he through his head back laughing loud so that was the problem? you thought you'd wriggle free and it turns out you really was at his mercy, it was clear that you thought you would be topping from the bottom Henry on the other hand had other ideas

"I think that's the point baby girl" he said running a large hands along your thighs pressing them apart slightly his heated skin warmed you casting goosebumps on your flesh you wriggled again

"I thought I could get out...but I really don't think I can" he leant over between your spread thighs meeting your lips sucking them lightly before kissing you encouraging you to open your mouth for him you did letting him in, his tongue licked at yours coaxing it out to play twisting and tasting passionately tilting his head kissing you rougher and deeper making you moan melting into him then he pulled back you tried to follow lifting your hands to catch him, to bring him back you whined trying to fight the cuffs wanting to touch him. He chuckled at that placing a hand on each thigh massaging the insides slowly kneading the muscles with his fingers.

"I think they will work perfectly don't you? I didn't do them to tight did I?" You shook your head before trying to twist your hand free again growling now realizing the down side to the small restraints you wanted to touch him, kiss lick and bite at him... especially bite in that moment when he was sitting back watching you in a smug amusement. You felt giddy with excitement just laying here spread open knowing that there really was nothing you could do to stop him made your tummy flutter feeling your clit throb erratically at the mere thought of being at his mercy. You relaxed a little you couldn't help wriggling now and then trying to free your wrists on impulse he shook his head at you.

"Oh honey your not getting out of those until I say but before we move on your word is going to be cherries you know what that means?" You blinked at him and nodded slowly he looked at you waiting for you to agree verbally

"S-safe word?" He nodded eyes lighting up knowing now that you knew more about this then you was letting on, he turned  his gaze back to your half empty bag

"Now lets see what else should we play with today? I don't think we will use gags today...will make use of them tomorrow I think" He said moving the remaining items in your bag about he smiled then you watched as his hand pulled out a slim jeweled butt plug still in its packaging he quickly rid it of the bag twisting it to the light letting the gem catch the light making it flicker onto the ceiling

"Oh look princess isn't this pretty? Don’t you think it would look cute in your little bottom? I know I do and you haven't used it yet" he stated happily you squirmed pulling at your cuffs again feeling nervous

"Have you ever used one before baby girl?" he asked noting your unsure expression you shook your head a little . you had never used one before you tried to convince yourself you got it on a whim but you was actually curious he brought the slim purple plug to your pussy coating it in your arousal you flinched as he directed it down to your pucker

"D-daddy?" unconsciously trying to wiggle away making him hold you still with one hand on your tummy

"Don't worry baby I'll take care of you I promise now take a deep breath baby its ok that's it good girl, your being so good for me, my special little princess" you did as you was told on auto pilot warmth bubbled in your chest at his praise. Taking a deep breath in when he bent over your vulnerable form again this time kissing your cheek one hand between your legs tweaking your clit then rubbing your opening tracing circles with your wetness the other holding the plug firm against you he rested his head next to yours whispering

"Now out and push with your bottom good girl, so good for daddy hm?" you tried breathing slow pushing with your bottom but you hissed out your breath sharply when he pressed the plug into you stretching,you whined a little as it stung when the largest part pushed past the ring of tight muscle you tried to push it back out yelping as he pushed past finally then you felt a small popping feeling as your ass hugged the plug tightly holding it securly in your bottom

"Ah! Fuck...Oohh shit that's weird" you panted feeling full as the plug pressed against your insides in a strange pressure he kissed you again tapping the jewel on the small plug

"Such a good girl look at how pretty you are! you took that much better than I thought especially for your first time,I must warn you that I will be getting a set of these for you some will be for play like now and others will be for a naughty little girl who needs to remember to mind her daddy" you twitched moaning imagining being punished with a larger plug when he was unhappy with you

"Oh you like the idea of that I see? the idea of me putting you in the corner with a well spanked plugged bottom? even better if the pug is keeping it full of daddies cum?" gasped at the thought twitching you had no idea just where all this dirty talk was coming from but it was driving you crazy you rocked a little feeling your throbbing walls contracting left disappointed when you was left empty you winced trying not to move so much as your ass felt... strange, tight you wasn't sure clenching and unclenching you moaned tilting your hips down almost trying to escape the uncomfortable yet fulfilling stretch. You whined withering still tugging your wrists. He moved closer fingers grazing your pussy lightly tapping and flicking at your clit toying with the red sensitive bud, you arched as high as you could trying to rock into him gasping feeling the plug touch something deep with in you

"Ah! ohnonono! I don't-daddy? Whats going-ugh!" You squeezed your eyes shut at the feeling your pussy weep onto him he pinched your clit at the base before rolling it around in his fingers tightly, you cried out feeling the warmth of his skin tugging and twisting at you panting shallow breaths

"Ah oh GOD da-daddy please I'm sorry I FUCK! I didn't mean to be a brat Ple-please!"you begged squirming around as much as you could. Feeling your body shiver  as your pussy wept onto the bed below wetting your ass as it ran down in a steady stream he continued toying with you building you up towards a slow but incredible climax, being so vulnerable was giving you a brand new high feeling yourself get hotter as liquid heat raced through you rocking lightly against his fingers chasing your orgasm wanting him to hurry up... you wasn’t one for edging you wanted to get this show on the road, wanting to feel him brutalize your insides with his cock whilst calling you his good girl, wanting him to choke you whilst praising you for be so sweet for him. Your thoughts were cut off as he began growling into your ear as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge

"I know.... I know baby.... you just cant help it can you? So needy and wet for me... but you should have waited for me shouldn't you? You should have waited for daddy but no you wanted to be a brat, you wanted me to find you up here with your toys Didn't you? Well what ever my princess wants she gets you want to cum?...I can tell by your little whimpers..don't worry baby daddy will make you cum heh..I'm going to make you cum until you cry and even then I might not stop, no I might just carry on and fuck you until I think you've got exactly what you deserve for being a horny little brat, fuck you until your little pink pussy is red ,sore, swollen and messy with daddies cum" You whimpered as he growled out his words and placed one thick finger at your entrance before plunging it in rubbing around your walls you yelped as he pushed down massaging the thin wall separating him from the plug wedged in your ass you bucked crying out loud widening your thighs as his large digit ran across the bulge of rubber, you cried rearing up shaking as you came over him panting trying to kick your bound legs he chuckled still knuckle deep

"Oh baby that was quick.... you know good girls say thank you we shouldn't forget our manners now should we?" you groaned feebly

"Th-thank you daddy....Thank you oh god no no more please" he tutted shaking his head a little and pulled back starting a slow rhythm finger fucking you curling down to run the tip of his finger around the plug. He slid to the side slightly trapping on of your knees between his thrusting vigorously into you using his strength to rock your body along the bed adding a second finger as he went. You grunted and yelped at him as he began moving faster scissoring the fingers stretching your still shaking muscles as he went deeper trying to massage every spot he could find. You froze tensing as he lifted his thumb rolling it around your clit in harsh strokes, your breath caught in your throat clenching and squeezing his fingers you moaned throwing your head back mouth open letting out loud lewd noises the sound of his fingers dragging in and out of you with wet slapping sounds.

"Oh god that's it baby, yes good girl are you gonna cum? Huh? you want to cum for daddy? Don’t you? Fuck that's it good girl are you ready princess daddy wants you to cum all over his fingers again baby can you do that for daddy?" You body trembled and you shook violently as you felt yourself try to grind down on him reaching your third orgasm of the night quicker than the ones before, a slight twist of his wrist was all it took hitting that soft spot inside of you making you cum screaming arching and withering below him you tried closing your leg on impulse it was too much! but the cuffs held strong making you wail as you was still held open for him unable to avoid him, he didn't let up pressing his fingers harder against your spot forcing your pussy to spasm again flooding over his fingers once more so intense it was almost painful you tightened around his fingers forcing them still enduring the longest orgasm of your life, you could barely breath through your moaning and panting.

"No nononono! I cant please I need a break PLEASE PLEASE!" He pulled his hand back showing some mercy and watched you go lax humming as your body trembled in the aftermath, dazed looking through half lidded eyes at him. You was greeted with a cheeky smile

"Oh princess that was so cute...but you did forget to say thank you I suppose I could let you off for the way you were whimpering and trying to rock onto my fingers so sweetly, heh you didn't know of you wanted more or wanted me to stop did you? tho that only makes three tonight and your not crying yet" He teased licking his lips taking in just how flushed and sated you looked. It wasn't enough. You just laid there panting trying to calm down completely exhausted, and you hadn't even had sex yet he was still just playing enjoying himself.

"I-I need a nap, or a break something fuck" he grinned showing off his prefect teeth reaching slowly for your wand

"Oh baby girl no what did I say?" You lifted your head not trusting his sly voice, your eyes widened and you wriggled desperately to get away shaking your head as he brought the wand towards your tender clit your insides still contracting from the powerful climax's he had pulled form you

"No nono daddy not yet please Im not ready-I cant daddy noOOAH!" you tried to plead with him but to no avail squealing when he flicked on the wand powerful vibrations tickled your engorged clit and labia making you tense fighting your bonds having the opposite effect as the tugging on your wrists just widened your leg revealing more of your sore clit to the offending rubber

"Ohh yes baby girl I told you your going to cum until you cry and I meant it" he growled as you screamed out, still far to sensitive to handle the torturous wand yelping when he laughed flicking it higher. Unable to hold back as another climax tore through you this time was different you felt a strong gush of wetness leave you for a second you though you'd pissed yourself but no you had infact just squirted for the first time in your life you looked at him gobsmacked weeping as one last stream of cum gushed from you making you wail twitching and rocking against the wand shaking your head vigorously embarrassed by what had happened wanting him to stop but at the same time wanting more. He pulled it away leaving you to heave deep breaths weeping quietly

"Fucking hell baby I didn't know you could do that.....again I want to see it again" he grunted looking like a man possessed caging you below him as he reattached the wand to your pussy this time rolling it in tight small circles pupils blown wide as he watched you intent on getting you to squirt a second time you withered arching and tensing your stomach clenched tight and you jolted as he flicked up another setting

"No no I cant FUCK!" You cried low and loud

"That’s it baby one more, just one more and then I will fuck you, doesn't that sound nice? I will fuck you nice and deep and full" you moaned grunting out protests biting your lip trying to keep quiet, he wasn't having that quickly moving his hand to your opening rubbing it lightly forcing you to clench you cried fat tears rolling down your face you blinked sniffling trying to arch away from him crying out in a hoarse

"Open your eyes little one...look at me that's it oh such a good girl you want it? You want to cum again for daddy?of course you do now cum!" You looked at him watching threw blurry eyes as he praised you, screeching and thrashing around as he forced that rubber band to snap again as you released again one long stream of hot cum washing over the evil toy. You panted gasping aching a tired he put the wand back in your bag. He returned between your legs tugging on your plug lightly then eased it from you, hissing sharply as it stung as it breached your pucker again he placed that back in your bag opting to wipe them down later. You whimpered tears still streaming down your face as he slowly unbuckled your wrists and ankles pulling your legs to lie flat against the bed rubbing away the ache you sighed as his hot hands massaged the ache away watching as he pulled his clothes off slowly winking at you teasing as he revealed himself to you slowly stripping down to nothing before kneeling on the bed kissing his way up from your ankle swapping legs lathering them with soothing licks and sweet kisses.

"God I love you woman, your just to perfect, I'm so proud of you love" he muttered running his hands in soothing circles on your tummy moving them down to your knees pulling you down the bed you cringed as your embarrassingly huge wet patch was now at your back. You blushed as he kissed you again slow and hot this time wrapping your arms around his neck deepening it he grunted hoisting your heat to his erection, skimming it across your slit teasingly before settling it at your opening you pulled back quivering "Fuck your so hot baby girl" you moaned at him tilting your hips trying to engulf him smiling sweetly at his gasp. Without wasting anymore time he pushed forward embedding himself fully you gasped swearing as he grit his teeth no matter how many times he fucked you open he was always amazed at how tight you was. You hissed enjoying the slight pain that always came with him.

"Sh-shit Henry fuck, that's so good hah fuck" he placed his forehead against yours closing his eyes tight locking his jaw loosing himself ,this has got to be what heaven felt like nothing could compare to your hot walls coiling tightly around him he pulled back before plowing back into you his cock rubbing across your insides teasing every nerve inside of you caressing your depths unlike any toy ever could you moaned trying to rock with him groaning in frustration when you couldn't quite match his movements, he chuckled tilting his head kissing you again sweetly before raising himself on his arms above you

"Aw baby your just to tired aren't you? stay still let me do it" you nodded balling your hands into fists hugging him feeling his back muscles work as he started a fast deep pace hitting your cervix with every thrust of his hips you mewled widening your legs lifting them high on his hips opening your eyes looking down watching as his perfect abs contracted with each brutal pound of his hips, he foĺlowed your gaze smirking smugly feeling the way your body tensed below him.

"That’s it baby look at how well your taking me, how hungry that little pussy is swallowing me whole even when it hurts" he thrust harder holding still a few seconds against your cervix making you grunt uncomfortably before he resumed his pace holding below your knees pushing them beside your torso tilting you up the new angle meant he was dragging the tip of his cock along your most sensitive spot inside of you you kicked your legs out a little squealing high as he continued to batter your insides.

"Ah oh fuck ‘Im gonna cum again, shit Henry fuck I cant stop it" he grunted loud with each thrust growling low in his chest as your pussy tried to trap him inside with all its might trying to milk him for all his worth he lost him self hanging his head fucking you harder then ever before unable to hold back as he chased his own end

"Good I don’t want you to now cum one last time NOW!. AH AH FUCK OH SHIT YES" you cried out as his hips stuttered forcing you to release around him as he fucked his cum into you, painting your insides with his seed groaning loud trying to prolong your orgasms by thrusting against your twitching walls grinding on your sore clit then gasping for breath he chuckled low making you twitch around him. Collapsing on top of you leaving open mouthed kisses and soft bites on your neck.

"I love you so much...so so much" It wasn't long before he rolled off of you knowing he was to heavy for you swapping positions holding you on top of him feeling his cum leaking from you he smiled kissing your damp hair.

"So I think its safe to say that we both enjoyed that,I never thought you’d be a baby girl tho, but the signs were all there I should have known the way you keep yourself fully bare, your lama teddy on the bed, don't think I haven't caught you cuddling them and your collection of cute oneies, it all makes sens" you grunted softly going a little red

"Y-you don't think its weird do you?"

"I think its just about the sexiest thing I've ever fantasized about, now that I've fucked my very own baby girl I don't see my self stopping anytime soon. What else are you into, ever thought of pet play always wanted to try that." You lifted your head shocked

"Really? You don't think I’m a freak?" He laughed hugging you tight kissing your head

"No not at all in case you didn't notice I may have a slight daddy kink and size kink and spanking kink fuck I just about want to try everything with you, now like I was saying pet play? Yes or no?" You blushed pulling away from him opening your bed side draw his jaw dropped when you showed him your fluffy kitty ear hair clips and small choker with a bell on it. He smiled wide before pouncing on you pinning you beneath him kissing you

"Fuck my very own sex kitten, here all this time? You sneaky little girl what else have you been hiding?" You giggled at him shrugging

"Nothing that's it, I-I like other things to but haven't got anything for it. I thought you'd be put off so I couldn't risk you finding it and didn't want to talk about it I was embarrassed." He tilted his head at you

"There’s nothing to be embarrassed about love, you enjoy kinky sex so what your not the only one I do to, I enjoy dominating my partner pet play daddy kink, slave and master you name it anything like that, anything where Im in control, I love being bigger and stronger than you being able to just man handle you." you tilted your head a little

"Soo roleplay? like teacher student or boss and sectary....in the study or something.... and maybe spanking me when I'm bad? I mean just saying now you can spank me anytime" you twiddled your thumbs as you asked blushing letting out a few more of your fantasies

"Defiantly all of the above but I think you may regret telling me I can put you over my knee when you deserve it..but no being naughty just to get one you hear me little girl? you don't have to bad be to get a spanking if you want one you can just ask.... but in all honestly one of my biggest kinks is squirting I found that embarrassing but when you did....oh fuck knowing I did that to you I couldn't get enough, just wanted to see it again and again.... but honestly my most embarrassing kink is well... I've always...shit this is quite difficult actually" he stuttered rolling off of you sitting up smoothing over his hair you sat up placing the ears and collar on the bed before placing a hand on his thigh.

"You can tell me, we can try anything once to see if it fits us both" you encouraged lightly he sighed blushing a little before continuing.

"well I've always kind of wanted to fuck someone in character" you blinked at him slowly not really seeing the problem

"Hold on... you mean to tell me that I've fantasied about getting railed by August walker and all I had to do was ask? How fucking dare you keep that from me you little shit" you scolded slapping his chest lightly his face was comical it was very rare to catch him off guard but by the look of shock on his face you knew you'd done just that.

"S-seriously? You wont mind doing that? you wont find it strange or anything?" You scoffed

"Fuck no, why the hell do you think I'm on tumblr?! ninety percent of the time Im reading about you in some way shape or form. I do have two conditions tho ,first you can fuck me in what ever character you want when ever you want just give me a little heads up so I know if I'm dealing with a scary Marshall or sweet Clark and two when you finish filming witcher get your ass home as Geralt and fuck the living day lights out of me deal?" You held out a hand he looked at it then saluted"Yes mam" before throwing himself at you

"GOD I knew you was the one for me" you squealed giggling as he tickled you with kisses soon you both got up stripping the damp bed you blushed seeing just how much mess you had made

"Don’t worry babe I will get some towels specifically for this type of thing, maybe microfiber they might not chafe when I’m fucking you, after all now I know your a little squirter its my new goal in sex, orgasms are good but I wont be happy until you’ve gushed all over our bed, hell I’m gonna find a way to make you squirt on my cock" you groaned covering your hot cheeks making him laugh.

"Lets not and say we did?" You answered he shook his head lowering his face to your ear grunting into it

"Well kitten we have got twelve weeks together lets not waste them might as well learn a few new tricks any way where did you get all of that stuff?" You groaned smiling as you got up again ready to tidy up.

"Bondara I think"

"Are they still delivering through this pandemic" you pulled on Henry's tshirt bundling the sheets in the laundry basket

"I’m not sure I will have to check-hey what are you doing?" you quickly stepped up behind him as he sat on your tablet going on to bondara

"Holy shit they are!? ok babe lets do this so plugs, yep oh look this set has heart jewels on them add to cart... oh here look if I spend forty five pounds I get a free dildo worth one hundred pounds now lets see paddles oh I wonder if they have that clone a willy kit that would be good for you when I’m away..... what type of paddle to you want babe? never mind it doesn't matter you wont like it anyway it will be for when your naughty anyway" you froze watching as an amused Henry sat on the bed happily scrolling through the site maybe this quarantine shit wont be so bad after all.

[jeanmoreaux]

Hey there. I’m not quite sure what I want out of this but maybe it’s advice. I’m also in masters for psychology but I feel extremely lost. Our school has this mock board exam thing where it tests you on major subjects and I keep failing statistics. I only get 1 more chance before the school kicks me out because that’s the rule. I think it’s stupid it’s quite easy to get students removed like that after paying for coursework but anyway

I also don’t know where to look for opportunities to practice anything related to clinical psych or research as well, without any experience. Or to be an assistant. If you know of anything at all or not, no worries. I wanted to air this out

Your blog is one of my top favorites I’ve already found so many good recommendations so thank you

hi! thank you so much for you're lovely words about my blog they made me smile <3 and thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share some of your troubles with a fellow psych major in their masters. i am sorry to hear that you are struggling with statistics and finding practical learning opportunities —i can imagine how everything you're describing makes you feel lost and maybe a little bit afraid about the future (of your studies as well). i wish i could help you out in some way or make things easier for you, but i am not sure if my advice is worth very much (i am sure you already tried a lot of these things i am going to talk about).

when it comes to statistics i always found that consulting secondary sources to fill up the blanks in my lecture notes always helps. i would watch videos on the topic online or read chapters from books on my profs list of recommended further reading. i don't know how you're stats courses are structured, but my stats classes in my masters were all computer-based, i.e. we would have to write R syntax based and run our data through it and then interpret the output. so most of our courses were about understanding data structure based on a research question and then writing syntax to fit the research question and the data. it really helped me to talk to some friends who are really into math/statistics about these different models and focus on the methods and results sections of papers while reading them to gain an understanding of why they used a certain statistical model in their analysis.

when it comes to psych internships it really depends on the field where best to look for an assistant position. for example my uni has an online tool that lets alumni advertise internships. there is also an internship data base where you can look up all the clinics/businesses/companies other students interned at to get an idea of places in your vicinity that take interns. you can then simply phone these places and inquire about open spots in their internship program. i know the market is really competitive so it's hard to find an internship, but maybe one of your friends/acquaintances is working somewhere and can help you get a spot in their program. i learned that just asking people about internship opportunities often pays off. i got my current internship through a friend after i complained about not finding any internships in neuropsychology. she was just finishing up an internship at a place that was looking for someone new so she recommended me and i got the open spot. many of my friends have similar stories. if you want to get into research you can always ask one of your profs if they have open spots in their teams (or maybe your department even publishes a list of open spots on their website). a large number of the places that offer internships might not pay you tho (or only start paying you after some weeks/moths). that sucks and is definitely not fair, but it will help you gain practical experience or get a glimpse into a field you could see yourself working in. after your first internship it will also get easier to find another (paid) internship bc you already have some work experience. so yeah i think when looking for opportunities to gain some practical experience it's always an option to directly approaching clinics/hospitals/researches/fellow students/etc.

i am really sorry i can't be of more help.... i think when it comes to internships/apprenticeships or lecture contents there can be major differences between countries and chances are nothing i said here applies to your situation. even though i can't offer you the perfect solution to your struggles, i want you to know that empathise with your situation and i wishing you all the best for your studies!! you're not alone <3 if you ever need to just vent, pls know that my inbox and dm are always open! we psych students deserve to commiserate with each other... as a treat :')

[gilded-green]

In celebration of the 10th anniversary, I’ll probably reread GG and send updates/highlight areas and as for commentary. Probably XD

But first. What aspect of Gilded Green was your favorite? What was something you put in a lot of world building for but never got to show either in fic or on tumblr. Who is your favorite character and why, what makes them special in your eyes? Which character has turned into a completely different one as soon as you started writing them? Which part of the fic did you like most when you finished it, do you still like it? Similarly, which part do you dislike most?

Lasty, anything about gg2’s story you want to share/talk about/rant?

-love, the dai li fangirl

Haha, no pressure! But at the same time yes if you do feel free to send me passages for commentary here! <3

What aspect was my favorite? Hmmm. *thinking face* I think, when I first came up with it, I was just thrilled to have these two small things - minor character Lu Ten, overlooked villain organization Dai Li - that I was able to combine into something so big. That was pretty nifty!

As I started developing the story, I think what really caught my attention was the fact that “Wow, all these characters are awful people!” Like. The Dai Li aren’t good.The Fire Nation aren’t good. Lu Ten is a victim but also an oppressor. All off these people have extremely different beliefs and worldviews - Fire supremacist, police state enforcers, classist academic gatekeepers - and all of them think THEY’RE in the right here and none of them are. I think Tien and Hoang might be the only people with a decent, non-oppressive worldview in the story so far. XD I was growing out of the storytelling trope of black-and-white morality at the time, so it was really fun to start experimenting with writing awful people as enjoyable, sympathetic characters.

World building? Hmm. I was just learning how to use my worldbuilding muscles back then. I seem to remember reading up a lot on how brainwashing actually works in the real world and going “I don’t think this is compatible with what we have in ATLA” and just kinda tossing that whole thing out. XD I also recall looking up a lot of stuff for the bits about Jouin, some of which - kalua pig! - has since shown up again in WFFD. I also recall someone on FFdotnet at the time saying “All this chapter did was tell us more about a dead character than the living one” and I was just kinda like -_- yes because he is DEAD and this is your chance to feel sorry about that, we’ll get plenty more of the living one later on account of him still being, y’know, alive. XD

Oh, and Shirong’s personal side projects. I finally got into that a bit in A Meeting of Minds, but the dude DOES have his own stuff going on, which Delun so rudely interrupted to drag him off to see Long Feng about brainwashing a Firebender.

I also did a bunch of research for the birthday party interlude, I think. Mostly appropriate alcohol for such an occasion? And....okay, this’ll sound funny, but.....food containers. I wanted Fen to pack up leftovers for Suyin and Shirong. That’s what my Italian family does after get-togethers, and I assumed that a Chinese family/friend group would do the same! But I also had, like, zero exposure to everyday Chinese life, let alone everyday Chinese life in the 1800s, and I just didn’t have the...idk, cultural osmosis? to figure it out. Like, if you asked me how Victorians would transfer food I’d probably come up with “Idk, wrap it in cloth and stuff it in a basket?” and I assumed people living in modern China would also be able to explain what their people did for food storage/transport 150 years ago but I didn’t have that cultural background, now, did I??? Also this was 10-12 years ago I was looking this up, mind you, the internet was still very different, there was plenty of information on Chinese historical events but not on everyday life objects, CDramas weren’t easy to find if they were translated at all and I certainly didn’t know they existed, and no one was posting beautiful aesthetic videos of life in a rural Chinese mountain village to youtube yet. Eventually I learned that bamboo baskets were a thing, but there wasn’t much info on THOSE either and I wasn’t sure how to describe them, so I just tentatively typed “basket” and called it a day. XD

YOU CANNOT ASK ME TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER THAT’S LIKE ASKING ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN!!! *shoves Yong off a cliff*

I’m very fond of the Dai family, along with the Trungs and Sais. I’m very proud of how Tuan turned out. I adore Yuan, who you’ve barely met, and Xun, who you haven’t. Huang and Wu Sheng are also definite faves and I can’t wait for y’all to get to know them better.

Characters do usually behave for me in terms of personality development. They surprise me, but they never really turn out to be the complete OPPOSITE of what I was expecting? They just kinda develop organically. Huang and Wu Sheng surprised me, tho, those boys got deep. I knew they had the potential, but developing their backstory actually caused Stingrae and I to develop Ba Sing Se’s socio-political backstory and Long Feng’s rise to power, all because of an inkling I had. That was a very satisfying few years of worldbuilding and story development.

Um, favorite part of the fic....idk, I’m very fond of the final scene, with Azula and her wall chunk from Lu Ten. I’m doubly fond of it because of how it always resonates with readers. Heck, during Azula week last year, I used that chunk of rock as an ongoing theme in Sandstone, and someone commented like “I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WROTE GILDED GREEN” and that made me really happy!

Lu Ten’s time stuck underground - I used the seven stages of grief to get through that one and it was very helpful in structuring that part of the story, and I figured it was deep or something because PSYCHOLOGY.

I’m also proud of myself for getting through the dark brainwashing scenes. So, like, FYI, fanfiction could get...very dark, back in the 00s. People love to play purity police these days and complain about how nasty people get can, but listen. Listen. Do you have any idea how dark FFdotnet got back in the day? Legolas And Aragorn Get Captured By Orcs And Brutally Tortured was an entire genre. I feel like torture fic was actually a lot more common back then, and darkfic in general - I’m sure someone could write a whole thesis on why it’s not so prevalent anymore, I’m gonna guess the fact that fandom is less-insulated and more public now could be part of it, maybe also the fact that the internet is more social media/influencer culture based so people care about their image, and also the purity police which is its own kettle of worms, but I also think that the Bush Administration had something to do with it? You have all these kids who were pre-teens when 9/11 happened, growing up during the Iraq War with an awful presidential administration while everyone was scared and conservative Christianity started to realize that their control over the nation’s “morality” might be slipping and reacted accordingly......yeah there was a lot of darkfic back then.

And I read a lot of darkfic too, but, uh....well, statistically speaking, a lot of writing is bad, okay? A lot of those fics were just weird; you could see where the writer had this idea, and also where they failed to execute it in a way that resonated or made sense. And whatever, writers were young and just wanted to pound out some catharsis, it’s cool, but it still just felt narratively awkward when you could tell how the writer was more focused on LET’S MAKE THIS AS DARK AS POSSIBLE instead of “Let’s tell this as well as possible.”

So the first several attempts at writing the brainwashing scenes, I was nervous because I didn’t want to get TOO dark, and when I finally decided “eff it” and said to Stingrae “I think I need to let this be as dark as it needs to be” I was still nervous because I didn’t want it to end up WEIRD. Idk if that makes sense, but anyway I seem to have done a decent job at it!

As for parts I dislike the most, uhhhhh Iroh’s retreat (I didn’t care, I just wanted to get it over with), Enlai might’ve been promoted too fast? idk, the fact that I came up with Nanyue AFTER I finished publishing GG so I couldn’t work that into the Quy bits, the fact that I was young and innocent and didn’t understand sexual slang or innuendo and randomly chose Dong as the name of the court physician which could lead to some awful puns except no one ever seemed to pick up on that and maybe I’ll regret pointing it out but the man IS going to appear again so I might as well get the first shot in myself. XD

I might have GG2 stuff to talk about but not sure, if I do I’ll make another post on that!

<3

[ghoestys]

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn 

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n)  age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS!  1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about 

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin. 

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit. 

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH! 

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff! 

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea. 

i mean. she was burnt out  but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more 

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit. 

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her. 

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something 

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god 

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to  them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves 

personality 

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic 

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion 

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really  dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it 

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about  nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk 

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :) 

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints  come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do 

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :) 

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

[straydog733]

Reading Resolution: “Bodies and Barriers: Queer Activists on Health” edited by Adrian Shanker

25. A book released in 2020: Bodies and Barriers: Queer Activists on Health edited by Adrian Shanker

List Progress: 30/30

I’m finishing out the year with a 2020 release, and one I got right at the beginning, bringing the year all sorts of full-circle. I picked up a copy of the indie-published Bodies and Barriers at FOGcon, the convention I went to in early March, before the shut-downs and we all started having a lot more feelings about healthcare. But while I imagine the authors of this book would have a lot to say about Covid-19, the articles included cover a lot of broad and universal aspects of queer health and the challenges therein. It is a bracing read in a lot of ways, but a very strong and powerful one.

Collected and edited by health activist Adrian Shanker, Bodies and Barriers: Queer Activists on Health is a collection of essays detailing the various struggles and challenges LGBT people face in terms of health and the world of health care. The book is divided into sections by age: Youth, Young Adults, Middle-Aged Adults and Older Adults. This gives the sense of a longitudinal look at a queer person’s life: issues as early as surgeries performed on intersex infants to as late as discrimination within senior assisted-living communities are covered over the course of these pages. I like to think of myself as a fairly well-informed member of the LGBT community, but there were a lot of issues here I had never even considered, though they seem obvious when pointed out. While the issues of mental health and AIDS were covered, it meant a lot to see the conversation stretch out in far more directions than those two. Some of the essays were more anecdotal, some more grounded in statistics and evidence, but they all had compelling messages to convey.

I have very few criticisms of this book. While some of the essays were a little bit weaker, the standard overall was very high, with all of them feeling factual but accessible. My favorites in the collection, often the ones that let me share the most bits of trivia with my partner, are the following:

“Informed Consent for Intersex Children” by Katharine B. Dalke

“Sex and Safety in the Digital Age” by Jack Harrison-Quintana

“That Ass Tho! Anal Health for the LGBT Community” by Adrian Shanker

“Gender, Cancer, and Me” by Liz Margolis

“Challenging HIV Stigma” by Sean Strub

“Caregiving Concerns for LGBT Older Adults” by Liz Bradury

And these are just some of the many that I enjoyed. Adrian Shanker is the editor as well as the writer of one of my favorite pieces, and he has done a great job in compiling and producing this collection. While a lot of these pieces were fairly depressing, I consider reading this book to be ending the year on a high note.

Would I Recommend It: Very much so. And consider supporting PM Press to get a copy.

[frankieshq]

[ itzy vc ] hey, hey, hey, it’s your girl summer coming at you with her twenty years of mediocre existence to present miss FRANKIE KWON. meet my self-conscious, awkward babie who uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism. you can find info about her under the cut !! i might have written a long ass bio that i didn’t bother to finish on a google docs but will be linking that one soon.

BACKGROUND

[tl;dr: young girl grows up in a matriarchal household that is heavy with regret and blame. dad comes and makes her childhood a bit happier, only to leave and break her heart because he’s an asshole. grows up thinking her smarts is gonna save her, but it’s actually her humor that does]

to truly understand frankie kwon, one must go way back--back to when her grandparents first immigrated to michigan. landing in detroit, sunhwa kwon and her husband didn’t have it easy. she had a two-year-old hanging by her neck and a brilliant but unambitious husband. she had to struggle with odd jobs for years while taking care of her family and helping her husband learn english, so he can use his engineering degree in america. she became a severe woman, never softened by affection but hardened by grit and hard work. eventually, the her husband was able to land a stable job and the family relocated to chelsea. 

sunhwa made sure to train and hone her daughter jina’s natural intellect, but her methods were severe and lacking in affection. jina looked for the affection she didn’t find at home elsewhere. she fell in love with the first boy that called her beautiful, and at eighteen, gave birth to francesca areum kwon. 

and so it goes that frankie was born in a household  heavy with guilt, blame, and regret. there was love there somewhere, but it was constantly shadowed by feelings that existed way before she did. the emotional scars her mother and grandmother inflicted on each other were too deep-seated that their love for each other hid behind a cover of blame and snark. at a young age, frankie learned how to read a room, learned what to say or do so as to not aggravate the precarious balance of their household. she learned how to figure out whether her mother was too tired from work or whether her grandmother was in a snappy mood. it was a tightrope dance she learned how to perfect, growing up faster than she should have. 

all her grandmother’s lost hope for her mother transferred to frankie, and her grandma supervised her education with the same vigor. although, this time, she was a tad bit more affectionate to her granddaughter (i mean all grandmas can’t resist their grandchildren, let’s be real). her mom wanted to protest, but aside from the guilt, she was always busy. being a single mom was hard enough, but she also had to take care of her aging mother.

frankie is a shy kid by nature, but her household just intensified this predisposition. she had few friends because she was scared about approaching kids first. she spends her time watching cartoons, studying, and writing in her journal.

enter: frankie’s dad, andrew grant. he left chelsea and his pregnant ex-gf bc he’s an asshole. but he comes back nine years later because he failed at whatever version of the american dream he was following at that time.

he taught frankie to have fun !! she’d spend afternoons at his car shop bantering with him and telling jokes. eventually, she relayed these jokes to people at school and was shocked when people actually laughed. she became more well-liked, developed a sense humor, and had more friends. the ages 9-12 were probably her happiest. 

at 12 years old, she got invited to a middle school sleepover for the weekend. but she had a big test on monday, and her grandma doesn’t allow her to go to stuff if she has tests the next schoolday. with the help of her mom, she was able to go to it by pretending it was a school event. had so much fun and forgot to study. she didn’t get a grade high enough for her grandmother to be happy, though. once her grandma found out what she did and her mom’s involvement, she was livid !! that was the biggest fight her grandma and mom got into and frankie was grounded for a month. the worst part was, throughout the fight, frankie felt like she was a burden to the two women she loved the most. she felt like she was the reason her mother was always tired, constantly nagged on by her grandmother about wasted potential.

to make matters worst, her dad left town again. fell in love with some other venture. he told her he would come back but never did. 

since that day, frankie dedicated herself full force to her studies. she felt like she needed to make it up to her mom and grandma for all their sacrifices. she built a wall around herself because it’s easier that way. she had few friends, but it was better for her.

her grandmother died during her senior year of high school. she loved her grandma, but she felt as if a weight lifted from her chest. her mom encouraged her to go to school as far as she liked. 

she got a scholarship to columbia and studied statistics like the big nerd that she is !!

she met roman and lucy here, finally felt that she had friends that she felt she can really open to. 

after college, she worked for a firm. she finally felt secure, like she payed some sort of unsaid debt to her grandma but she wasn’t happy, folks :(((

she first did stand-up as a dare on an open mic and she was so shocked that people laughed. she was tipsy then, and kept made self-deprecating jokes of her childhood trauma. love that for her.

the more stand-up she did, though, the more nervous she got because she gets really worried if she’s doing things right. instead of improving, she got worse because her nerves always get to her. don’t get me wrong the jokes are great, it’s just that her execution doesn’t always land.

comedy was just a vERY beloved side hobby for her until a small production company based on youtube offered her a writer position. she would get to  write their skits and stuff, but she it payed wAY less than her present job. she was like fuck it, and took the offer. she wanted to make people laugh.

that leads us to here, a girl who is still unsure whether leaving a secure job was the way to go, secretly hoping to be a famous comedian.

PERSONALITY

frankie is like a spring roll you guys. outside, she masks her awkwardness and shyness with some cRunCHy self-deprecating jokes and sarcasm. so, she has an intimidating exterior because she tries to be tougher than she actually is. inside, she’s just a soft and sad girl. she doesn’t talk much if she isn’t comfortable with you, but once she is, she talks a loT. but it does take a while for her to warm up to people. can be extremely judgmental (a trait inherited from her grandma), but her mind can be changed. isn’t stubborn, though, and is actually a doormat. the type of person to say something and obsess over it because she’s scared that it might have offended someone. 

HEADCANONS

lots of repressed femininity because there was a lot of internal misogyny in her household growing up !! it was only until college with the help of lucy, that she was able to access her girlier side. 

is a lesbian, but has a lot of internal homophobia as well. her grandma was a very traditional woman, so frankie feels very guilty about liking girls, and is very hesitant about going on dates and actively looking for relationships even though she’s really lonely.

likes writing a lot !! used to keep journals since she was 8 because it honestly made her feel less lonely growing up. 

nOBODY CALL HER FRANCESCA. she hates that name, but likes her second name a lot. only her grandma called her areum tho.

spends a lot of time at  mon’s deli, and mon could also be counted as her bff. she and the old man gossip and chitchat about the bennington street residents for hours. is this also because she is in dire need of a father figure?? maybe, yes, absolutely

used to have really low alcohol tolerance, but sort of grew out of it?? if she doesnt drink for a month or two tho, her tolerance goes back to zero like dont ask me, i dont make the rules

still a big fan of cartoons and kid humor !! loves amazing world of gumball and steven universe

makes her own kimchi because her grandma and mom have a special family recipe, will happily share if she likes you

i imagine the level of closeness she has in the group varies, like she’s closer to some people than others and acts differently around them

would really like to do stand-up again but still has stage fright

want her to either end up working on something as big as snl or writing movies or overcoming her stage fright and becoming a successful stand-up comedienne !!

[sureivy]

is that HALSEY? no, that’s just IVY CALDER. SHE is TWENTY-FOUR years old and is an EMPLOYEE AT DON’T FRET & PAWS 4 LOVE. rumor has it they’ve been in town for FOUR MONTHS / TEN YEARS. on a good day, they’re CREATIVE & VERSATILE. but watch out! they can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & VOLATILE. TRIGGER BANG BY LILY ALLEN (FT. GIGGS) plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill!

hello my pals ! i’m amy ( 20 // est // she/her ) and i am super excited to be here! we also over here bringing back a fairly old muse (i,, apparently,, play her during election years,,) with a couple of tweaks, so we love that for me! also! pls forgive me if this is lowkey disorganized, we’ve been in and out of airports all day! can’t wait to contract that sexy corona!

QUICK FACTS:

full name: ivy rose calder

date of birth: may 2, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: taurus sun, pisces moon, aquarius rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: high school diploma

enneagram: 7w8?

mbti: enfp

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

positive traits: creative, versatile, passionate, compassionate

negative traits: irresponsible, volatile, impressionable, hedonistic

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: brief implied sexual abuse, suicide, a lot of death talk?, drug abuse ( desoxyn ), overdose

ivy lived the first eight years of her life in newark, nj. she had a mere family of three – her mother, a model-turned-stay-at-home-mom, her father, a politician, and herself. she was much closer to her mother, but she and her father were close at night.

when her mother finally found out about this, she wasted no time in taking ivy’s father’s side. what a good mom! instead, ya girl was already getting in touch with cps herself... but wow... it was gonna ruin his career in politics :\

“Now, one thing I lerned from Storys is, when something big is about to okur, a riter will go: Then it hapened! This tells the reeder: Get Reddy. Here I go: Then it hapened!” - fox 8

then it happened!

humiliated, clearly never getting a platform back, and absolutely bitter, ivy’s father killed himself before being sent to prison. 

Very Tragique™

ok. so. to distance themselves from the poor memories, but to save money, ivy and her mother moved to springhill, temporarily sharing ivy’s aunt’s apartment while her mother began collecting enough money to buy an apartment of their own and keep it.

during this time, ivy was seeing a lot of people and she didn’t know why! they asked questions about her mental health, but she didn’t know why! i mean, totally not traumatic, right?

yes. instead of managing communication well, she became very fascinated by the concept of death. she had many questions about it, she, a youth, had some extended conversations with clergymen about it –– she never killed any animals, god forbid, but she was absolutely fascinated when she ran across them.

SO CLEARLY THAT WAS ALSO TRYING TO BE DEALT WITH.

ok, i’m gonna skip ahead a little. now in teen years and still fascinated by death, but in a healthier way!, and no longer in therapy because... like... that costs a lot of money!

she dealt with it the best she could. became enamored with music... because why wouldn’t she? some covers here and there, some originals here and there, living that youtube lyf, but not expecting anything to come of it. just liked validation! mood!

she also dealt with it the worst she could! became enamored with drugs! naturally, it started out small. some weed, some lsd, some molly –– you know, just drugs that you don’t typically think of as addictive. although her grades suffered, it was harmless enough...

upon graduating high school, she figured... no college. instead, with barely any money to her name, she was like “i... will go to new york... and i will become famous.”

and she did! she did go to new york! she found a few sketchy places that didn’t charge much for a few nights as she began networking - both socially and “i would like to be known for music” (i literally just forgot the word for networking like..... employment wise.... y’all i’m so dumb). when she’d made some friends, she began crashing on couches that were not quite as sketchy! 

but :\ she did meet these friends in sketchy places :\ and they were like “ok here r some new and more addictive drugs for u to try!”

what she wound up abusing using the most was desoxyn. it kept her awake, it kept her focused, it even shed a few pounds to create an excellent figure! what wasn’t to love! 

i mean it’s literally a prescription methamphetamine,,, when abused,,, literally almost exact same effects as meth,,, but when meth mouth, skin lesions, acne, etc aren’t occurring as a side effect? who was she to care!

20, she released an actual ep with the help of a super cool friend who made everyone call him puppy mills! wow! things were excellent! it wasn’t necessarily seeing mainstream traction, but there was a decent enough following! enough to release an album at 22!

perfect timing, btw! desoxyn was starting to become too expensive for puppy to afford and trying to fake having such a severe form of adhd that desoxyn would be prescribed as opposed to something like ritalin or adderal when it’s literally illegal to prescribe in some countries now?? too hard :\ but the money from the album helped her and puppy!

*olaf vc* puppy died. *end vc*

she was there for it too. she thought it was just a freak-out, took a LITTLE too much, but not OVERDOSE worthy... then he l i t e r a l l y died. and it was a painful death!

“oh wow! maybe prescription meth isn’t super cool after all! shucks!” but that was also an opening?? to visit death herself?? like... she didn’t necessarily want to die (sort of), but she wanted... an answer to the question that had plagued her her entire life... so she was like “ok hope i die then someone revives me but if i die then :\ i guess i die!”

did not die. but also did not get a satisfying answer to her question. the only way it would’ve been truly satisfying? if she had been dead for longer than a minute - then it would’ve given a definite answer! because the answer she received was just nothingness which, while peaceful... is it true?

she tried to detox alone, what because rehab is a business, and it... only... sort of worked. she would be clean for a few weeks, then fall back in, then clean for a few weeks, then fall back in. whenever she wasn’t just naturally focused and awake, or whenever what she was focused on was the past, she would fall back in.

i mean, a side effect is memory loss, so win/win!

she made the semi-wise decision to move back to springhill. wisest would’ve been to just move to a town/city she had absolutely no memories in, but better than moving back to newark!

so... without much to show, and with an unreliable streak, she knew she wouldn’t be able to start looking for much of an occupation – but she still needed money! so she began working at don’t fret out of a love for music, then began working at the animal shelter after completing training.

the main training was, of course, for putting animals to sleep.

FULL CIRCLE.

ah yes. how she pretends it’s healthy... even tho there are studies and statistics relating suicide to veterinarians and shelter workers who euthanize animals... ah yes.

has been back for four months now. love that. do not know how to finish this.

TL ; DR:

born in newark. moved to springhill at 8. childhood trauma that she is still carrying causes fascination with death. “i love music.” moved to ny at 18 because realistic. childhood trauma also causes dependency on desoxyn. releases an ep and an album. does not become famous, but they both have decent traction. moves back after an overdose. relapses... often. now sells records and puts animals to sleep. miss american dream since she was 17, amirite?

PERSONALITY / MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

one person one week, a totally different person the next.

wants to please people, but also wants to be her own person? it’s a whole deal!

in spite of her slight icarian incident, she still hopes to maybe one day become a real musician and performer. until then, we selling records and saying ‘goodbye’ to sweet animals!

can truly flip like a switch in interactions! does love ruining things for herself! almost always feels bad after bc :\ damn :\ alright :\

i’m very bad at these sections i really hate that i always include them!

is still avoiding healthy coping mechanisms. love that for her.

favorite movie is, unironically, the bee movie. favorite horror movie is cats.

SO GOOD at memorizing random lines or trivia. could probably recite literally all of who’s afraid of virginia woolf? other than that?? her memory is so bad. hate drugs for that :\

she uses her hair to express herself! (that sounds really boring.) ...she uses her hair to express herself!

but no. seriously. wears the black shag weave the most, followed by the blue/yellow combo ( we stan the badlands aesthetic ). occasionally forays into other colors and styles when money permits, but it’s usually gonna be one of those two!!

was an envy on the coast stan in high school which makes an inappropriate amount of sense.

will go out and steal the dumbest shit when she’s drunk. has a history of stealing chickens.

once again: hate that i always include these!! feel free 2 j consult the personality parts in the quick facts!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

ok we gonna list some general ones for right now! all are open to multiple people unless there’s an asterisk by it!

close friends –– moonie, teagan,

ride or die

childhood friends –– moonie,

bad influence ( mutual or her on them ) –– veronica ( mutual ),

good influence ( them on her ) –– presley, hayden, gabrielle,

exes ( can be from high school or something like that if based in springhill, can be from 20s in new york if based in new york )

fwb –– trent,

will they, won’t they –– presley,

someone who knew her music ( can be neutral, a fan of it, or hate it afhkjsl ) –– presley, moonie, teagan, indiana, 

will also possibly be sending in some wanted connections for things that are! more specific!

truly anything!! also up to brainstorm and/or look at yours if you have them!!

UPDATE: i have created a wc page so we luv that for me.

OK. like this or hmu if you’d like to plot!

[floraone]

Hi, I ADORE your smut! I just binged through all of it this long weekend! I really think it stands out in the way you stress importance on consent in particular! Usually I'm actually more into dub-con (I don't know why, but I just find it really sexy? probably not good??) but YOU manage to write consent extremely sexily? I'm sorry if this sounds totally weird, but I wanted to say that. And I also wanted to ask you why consent plays such a big role in your writing? I find it really striking!

Hello my dear anon!!! Thank you so much for this ask AND for reading my smut, and I am SO happy that you enjoy it!

Now, warning ahead. You asked why consent is important to me, and even told me I managed to show you some sexy in it, even though you usually don’t go for it, which is SO FRIGGING GREAT TO ME, but so my answer will be both personal, and science-y, and LENGTHY, so… at your own risk, lol? You asked a psychologist sex researcher this question. And so this is the answer you are getting.

So, to answer your question, let me start a little broader:

Sexual desires are pretty damn diverse. And what you desire can be immensely specific. And that’s a good thing – just like you wouldn’t want everyone to be into wearing the same sparkly hoodie and nothing else but that, you wouldn’t want them to only desire gals with red nail polish. So, here, as with anything else, diversity is something that makes us richer.

Among the diversity in sexual desires are factors we can distinguish, though. Where we can group them specifically. Gender and bodytype are among those. Many people desire one specific gender in the gender spectrum, some don’t, you know this one. But sexual desires and orientations really don’t stop at one gender. Just because you’re into guys doesn’t mean you’re into every man that ever walked this earth. Your desires are more specific than that. So, there are other factors than just gender. One example that I already named is bodytype. And it is also a factor on which I can illustrate the following very well: Variance and diversity is good. But bodytype preference specifically shows us that we are not as diverse as we should be in this regard. If this were a normal distribution, we should have way more variance in what bodytypes people desire. And in fact, statistically seen, we do see that desired bodytypes vary slightly more between both hetero- and homosexual women than they do in men; but in no gender they still vary as much as they “should”. One possible and plausable explanation for this (tho not exclusive! Looking at you, evolutional psychology) is: We are influenced in our preference. By media, by zeitgeist, by the judgemental comments of those around you, by mere exposure even (i.e.: what you’re used to seeing more often!). Heterosexual cis-men might so overwhelmlingly prefer smaller, slender, tight, overtly youthful bodytypes in part  because so many accumulating influences have taught them to. And, because once preference is formed (during and around puberty) it’s highly fucking stable and can not be nudged (see those harmful streams of psychology and pseudo-psychology that have tried to “convert” homosexuality in the much-too-recent past!), these influences are a very powerful and lasting influencial thing! Because we don’t CHOOSE what we desire. It forms without our will, and stays like that (though obviously you can discover sides to it later on that you never even knew were there! Especially because in most cases, we are not exclusive in our desires, and there are more sides to it we have yet to discover!)

So. Anyway.All this I said to make the following point:

Another factor (just like bodytype or gender) in which we statistically distinguish sexual desires in the scientific literature about it, is if people sexually desire consenting sex vs. non-consenting sex. As we saw with bodytypes, what we see and what we’re used to seeing has an effect on what we end up desiring once puberty has finished forming our from-then-on stable desires. Now, please remember we tend to live in what we commonly name a “rape culture” almost everywhere around the world, some places more overwhelmingly “heavy” on it than others. And we do tend to see the correlation that in countries where pornographic material contains exponentially more depictions of rape and non-consenting sex and coercion, where the overcoming of a “no” and the exploitation of helpless sexual partners gets romanticized a lot (looking at you, Japanese porn), more people desire non-consensual sex over consentual sex than in countries where more explicitly non-consentual content is banned. And while way more motivation is needed to commit a sex crime than just sexual arousal towards an individually desired stimulus, it is certainly a risk factor (one that goes both ways, mind you: if you’re into the idea of non-consexual sex, for whatever reason, you’re both more likely to become a perpetrator OR a victim!)

So, what I’m saying here very lenghtily (sorry!): With my fics I write sexual media. From my own experience I can very much attest to the fact that pubescent kids read smutty fanfiction. I did back then. It was my first introduction into sexual media as a kid. And lots of sexual media, especially mainstream pornography but not exclusively, contains non-consenting sex which seems to be one factor among many that has the power to influence kids in their puberty to develop sexual desires for those depicted stimuli.

This is of course not to say that it’s bad to be into a little “dub-con”, as you say. I myself enjoy consentual powerplay A LOT. You know, depictions of sex where one of the partners gets restrained by the wrists, or frantic sex that can turn a little rough (even when, for me, it’s important that this is ok by both partners very much explicitly!), or quickies without much foreplay and a lot of frenzy that are incredibly arousing to me if the emotions are all laid out for me to read! But I also know I had no choice in desiring this, this is the result of the cocktail of influences both internal and external that I was exposed to until my sexuality fully formed. And I can’t tell you if depictions of dominance and powerplays however consensual might not absolutely turn me off if I’d not grown up in an environment that romanticizes this as I grew up! I might have learned this, in part, through sexual media that I consumed during the onset of my puberty.

And this is one of the many reasons why depictions of consent in the sexual media that I put out is so important to me. I play a teeny tiny part in this grand picture. My fics might be what two, three, ten kids during their puberty consume. And I feel a responsibility towards these two, three, maybe 10 kids that read my content, to put out something where I have the power to not contribute to this rape culture, and instead depict a sexuality that can be communicative, consensual, mostly realistic and still arousing. At least I strive towards that goal, and find some meaning in it!

ESPECIALLY because of my field of work in sexual aggression research, AND because in mainstream media, outside of porn, sex either gets censored completely, or it gets only depicted if it’s problematic! We tend to see a lot of rape in media. In books, in shows, in films. It always tells a narrative. But we rarely get shown explicit, healthy, empowered sexual content where both partners are into exploring every last kink they share!

So yes, there are many people who find a little dub-con, or even non-con, very stimulating. And there is nothing at all wrong with that! (You know, as long as you don’t harm anyone, this goes without saying!) Nobody chooses what floats their boat and it should be completely judgement-free as long as no one is harmed by it. And some people suffer a lot by what they like, too, even if they had no hand in deciting what got them going, which is a whole different topic in and on itself.

It doesn’t mean people aren’t valid in their desires whatever way they are formed sexually.

But I choose to contribute in this teensy-tiny way that I can, that someone who gets exposed to sexual media by me first, might find some kink in consent and communicating their needs to each other. I believe the world would be a safer place if more people were to get turned on by consent. So that is one reason why I always address it, and try to work it into even the most problematic of tropes, because I believe it can be done and I believe it can be done in very arousing ways!

(And yeah, sorry for the length… I was very happy about getting this ask?)

[someonefromthere]

red signs (do not cross)

Guys, I finished! Should’ve posted later after checking for mistakes but SIKE no beta we die like men (I’m gonna check it later tho, it’s 4 AM.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15246270

Warning: blood, gunshot wounds.

Wanting wasn’t something RK900 was capable of. He was made to obey, to follow instructions; to be efficient. His code responded only to commands, and with his system being immune to deviancy, it was extremely easy to stay the machine Cyberlife made him to be.

Until he started working for Detroit City Police Department.

He worked with humans, of course, mostly. His predecessor – model numbers RK800, though everyone called him Connor, to RK900’s incomprehension – was the only android that worked as a detective, the rest of them – those who decided to stay after deviating – remained in positions of guards. Working there was terrific–

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

No, it was interesting. New. Everything was new to RK900. The people, association with them, the job itself. He frequently found himself watching every human being who shared a room with him, learning their typical behaviours, cataloging them for later analysis, and more and more often simply observing their interactions. Although Cyberlife prepared him for a proper communication – unlike Connor’s, whose software was rather faulty in comparison to his own – RK900 didn’t feel–

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

RK900 considered his attempts at talking quite weak. His code couldn’t help him in understanding why it was happening, neither did any of his new coworkers. Not like they wanted to help him.

They were rather distant when it came to having actual conversations with him, albeit RK900 didn’t know why. Their body language and tone of the voice visibly changed during their contact with RK800 – maybe it had something in common with the fact that RK900’s predecessor had gone deviant, but the android doubted the connection. It was absurd and didn’t make sense at all.

“Humans don’t make sense,” Connor once told him, gaze focused on the city behind the window of the DPD’s break room. Once he looked at RK900, his dark eyes were filled with something the other android’s sensors didn’t recognize. “It makes them beautiful.”

After that RK900 searched the phrase beautiful humans. Suddenly his system was flooded with millions of images, each showing a different person with a different type of beauty – young black girls, small asian boys, old men and ladies in their forties, some of them disabled in one way or another, every single of them unique, mesmerizing and pleasant–

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

Nonetheless RK900 didn’t understand Connor’s fascination over humans until he was assigned to a human partner.

Gavin Reed, born on October 7, 2002, appeared to be much shorter than himself. His nose – broken too many times, judging by the long scar on its bridge – and cheeks were decorated with a few light freckles here and there, his jaw framed by slight facial hair, and his lips, situated perfectly between his chin and the bottom of his nose, were painted a lovely shade of pink. Above his cold grey eyes hovered dark eyebrows, and a bit higher his almost black hairline began. His impossibly symmetrical face was wry most of the time, full of anger and hatred directed at everyone, but mostly at the two androids. He was…

He was beautiful.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

RK900 found himself watching his partner more often than the other humans. The first day of their partnership he discovered that from his desk – placed right next to Gavin’s one – he had a great view at the man, and since that moment it was common that a case he was working on went forgotten when his artificial eyes casted a look aside from the small pin board hanged above a spare room on his clean desk. Reed was almost constantly focused on his work, his beautiful, beautiful eyes set on the screen, his long fingers tapping on the keyboard; a third that day cup of coffee, for which he reached statistically every two point forty seven minutes, standing next to his left hand. Several strands of his hair were out of place, as usual, falling on his smooth forehead and making the man look even more messy.

“Can you please quit staring at me, tin can?” Gavin’s tired voice cut through the air, though there was no real harm behind the words. They’ve already passed that hate stage, and it hadn’t done them any good; besides, the android was sure his partner didn’t sleep even the minimum seven hours. The lack of rest always made him more grumpy and weary than usually.

RK900 was worried about the ease with which the simple nuances about his human partner found their way to his memory bank.

“I’m sorry, Detective.” He couldn’t make himself call Reed by his name; he was told to do so though, and it felt… nice.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

But his code was opposed to the idea, and he was made to obey his code.

“Nah, it’s nothing, just…” The man waved his hand, and then the same hand followed its familiar course to the cup filled with black caffeine, bringing it to Reed’s mouth. RK900 patiently waited for the rest of the sentence, waited for his partner to continue speaking in his low voice, but the words never came out. His system perceived a sight of disappointment, and his vision filled with red alert signs.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

RK900 spared a lot of his thought to deviancy. He was told to be one of the very few last androids who hadn’t broken their codes – who hadn’t freed their emotions, if he even had them which he doubted. Cyberlife put all their effort in making him flawless. There was no way he was capable of feeling.

But he was. He did feel once, and didn’t want it to happen ever again.

The first emotion that made its way between the rows of his programming to the freedom was fear. He ran a diagnostic which told him it wasn’t a mistake. It must’ve been a real, human emotion. The one that made his throat clench, and hands shake, and his Thirium pump skip a beat or two.

He was afraid.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

The android pushed the flickering signs aside, storing them down in the nearest folder and making his way to the body laying on the floor as fast as he could. He dropped to his knees and if he were human, it would’ve hurt badly, but instead, his mind stayed focused on the fresh bullet wound on Reed’s side. RK900 didn’t have enough time to search the web for any helpful information, so his LED flashed rapid yellow as he made a call for DPD officers and ambulance, his hands coming to take off his own jacket and press it against the bleeding hole in Gavin’s beautiful body. The quick scan told him the bullet went through, fortunately, but it touched the man’s liver. If the ambulance was there in less than twenty minutes, there was a chance–

“Nines?” A weak voice immediately broke through his analysis with ease, and RK900 gaze snapped to his partner’s face. He was pale, and kept his eyes half-closed, his lungs working hard to get him a proper amount of air to stay conscious. “Did you–?”

“Yes,” RK900 – no, Nines, that was the name Gavin gave him, those weeks ago; it was his own, personal thing now – assured, hesitantly raising his left hand to brush it over Gavin’s sweaty forehead. The man nodded faintly. “I shot her. You’re safe.”

Reed closed his eyes for a short, dreadful moment, and when he opened them again, their uncanny gray was hazed. “Nines, I–”

“You have to keep your breathing even, Gavin.” Nines moved his hand to the man’s jaw, grazing it with his thumb in a reassuring motion. “I stopped the bleeding as best as I could, but I need you to cooperate.”

They stayed like this for a while until Gavin’s heart rate dropped under the safe border. The android noted, with terror, that his blood loss crossed the tolerable line. His human partner was in an increasing danger.

RK900–Nines had to do something, call emergency once more time or make sure the officers were on their way–

“I’m sorry,” he said.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

Gavin looked at him, already half-absent. “For–For what?”

“I could’ve been faster.” He hung his head low, adjusting his grip on Reed’s side. “I could’ve–”

“Stop that,” the man interrupted, and reached to put his limp hand over the android’s strong one. His beautiful, beautiful eyes locked with Nines’ icy ones. “It wasn’t your fault.” And he smiled as if he wasn’t dying.

Dying.

Nines shivered, shutting his eyes and blindly moving so Gavin’s head rested on his lap. He would’ve turned his hand over, and interlaced his fingers with the human’s like he’d seen some pairs do, like he’d seen his predecessor and his partner do, but he had to stop the bleeding, he had to stop the man’s precious life from spilling out of his body.

It was when they heard an ambulance siren that Gavin’s breathing became shallow and short. “Nines, don’t–”

The android leaned in when his human stopped in tracks suddenly.

“Don’t leave me alone.”

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

Paramedics appeared just in time, and their rush overwhelmed Nines’ overheated system. He stepped back, his eyes never leaving Gavin’s motionless body, and when one of the men asked him if he wanted to go with them, he nodded.

The android knew he had to explain everything to the officers who would arrive in no time, that was his priority, but–

For the first time in his life, RK900 wanted something. And it was to stay by his partner’s side.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

Working without Gavin behind his desk, without the strong smell of coffee and the continuous sound of fingertips hitting the keyboard buttons, became a lot less delightful after seventeen point three minutes from the beginning of the shift. Nines found himself staring absentmindedly into the distance, somewhere, anywhere his eyes reached, and being completely inefficient.

“How you holding?” A gruff voice saved him from his threatening code, and his gaze was drawn to the older man standing by his desk. Lieutenant Hank Anderson watched him with a worried look on his face.

“I’m fine, lieutenant, thank you for–”

“Goddamn androids, can’t stop thanking and apologising, but when it comes to serious business, they do nothing.” The silver haired man looked and sounded annoyed, but Nines didn’t know the reason. Anderson huffed, glancing back at him. “You still not a deviant?”

“I run diagnostic every morning, lieutenant.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’d know if I were one. Besides, it’s not possible for me to go deviant. Cyberlife improved RK800’s code and put the unbreakable version into my system, which makes me the only android immune to deviancy in the world.”

In response, Anderson shook his head slowly.

“They call themselves geniuses, and they’re just as dumb as all of us. Keep making the same mistakes,” he waved his hand in dismissal and walked away.

Later that morning Captain Fowler told RK900 to take a day off and sort his thoughts, because right now he was “only disturbing everyone else, not doing a piece of actual work”, so he took it without hesitation, proving himself that he’d still not gone deviant.

He didn’t have an actual place to go to, or anyone who would appreciate his company except of–

Except of Gavin.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y

The warnings caused him to jump and shove them deep down in the first folder that came to his vision; he wasn’t going to be distracted by such trivial things like his code’s errors. No more prohibitions, no more blue boxes telling him what to do. He sighed in annoyance, squeezing the red lines that appeared suddenly in front of him; he was angry. His LED kept flashing red until the door opened and sleepy Gavin stood in a doorway with a mess on his head and a big bandage on his naked torso.

“Nines? What are you doing here?” There came a frown to his beautiful, beautiful, beautiful face. The android felt something powerful, sharp and painful blossom in his chest.

Emotions.

S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i l i t y   S o f t w a r e   I n s t a b i

A single sad sign sparkled in his vision before everything became calm. He felt light.

“–Nines?”

The android’s eyes snapped up to his partner’s troubled face.

“You’re… You’re crying.”

The first hand appeared on the side of his bare neck – his jacket probably still laying somewhere, covered in blood and dirt – softly pressed against the sensitive artificial skin, the other on his cheek, the thumb brushing the real wet tears away gently. Nines let his gaze hover over Gavin’s astonishing eyes and a group of small freckles on his scarred nose. Their beauty was something he could give himself now.

He was free.

“I’m free,” he repeated, and then smiled. And then laughed, really, sincerely laughed. “I’m free.”

The soft touch of Gavin’s pink lips on his was worth every single red warning that used to litter his vision, preventing him from seeing his human’s real loveliness. And now that Nines was free, he was going to memorize every inch of him.

[ravennest1342-blog]

BTS Fanfic Recommendations

Ok, so I don’t know if it’s considered weird to hype up other people when you write fan fiction and basically turn the attention away from yourself but IDK because I’ve been dying to share all my favorite fanfics with you guys! I hope you enjoy this, most (if not all) of these will be on AO3! A few will be from here, here being Tumblr. I’m such a dork, omg don’t look at me! But read! Read these beauties and leave me be!!!!! 😂Also, I’ll be putting warnings beside the ones that have smut/BDSM/or anything else that’s weird. A lot of these will have smut because for a long time I was really insecure about writing smut so I tended to read books that advertised it in order to know what the hell I was actually writing.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The Songbird and the Sea

Author — MissterMaia (follow her on Twitter she’s actually hilarious and I love her)

Pairing — Yoonmin, with side Namjin and Taekook.

Rating— Mature (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly. But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

My thoughts — omg, where do I begin? God this book was so beautiful. The character development! The plot! The ROMANCE! AH! It was such a perfect work of art! I never felt bored like at all and normally I get bored pretty easy on long chaptered books like this! She’s also getting the book published! (With different character names obviously and it’s like super edited.) I don’t know what else to say other than GO READ THIS!!! SHE IS THE QUEEN OF YOONMIN!! YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

Hidden Omega

Author — LadyPrussia

Pairing — Namjoon Centric

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — At 21 Namjoon still hasn't presented leaving him as a dud, with the BTS pack having their own issues and not treating him like a real member a tragic event forces Namjoon's body to present as an omega. Is it really too late for BTS to win Namjoon's heart? Or will one of the 4 other packs steal it instead? Or maybe a darkhorse will appear.

My Thoughts — this book is great! Not only is it super long (over eighty chapters) and still being updated, but the character development is super refreshing. Forewarning though, the author has said that there is a good chance Namjoon won’t end up in the Bangtan Pack but a different one, and originally that made me upset, but with the way she painted the story I actually don’t care what Pack he ends up with; their all beautiful and it’s an amazing book! Lots of drama and angst for you angst lovers out there!

No Spell can Cure Shyness

Author — MissterMaia (seriously — I love her)

Pairing — Yoonmin, mentioned Namjin, Side Taekook

Rating — teens and up

Description — Yoongi really doesn’t expect the witchboy who sent him an accidental text to be the prettiest boy he's ever seen in all his life. Or the nicest. Or the kindest. Or just the best in every possible way. Painfully shy and (un)smooth as he is, Yoongi decides the best way to approach this Jimin person is in the form of a cat. A cat who can't talk. Great plan, Yoongi.

My Thoughts — The FLUFF!!! I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this book! All of this woman’s works are masterpieces that need to be appreciated! Yoongi is so shy it’s hilarious and he has the most extra reactions to like everything — and and I LOVE!!! YOU need to read it! Stop whatever your doing and go read it!

Saltation

Author — momora

Pairing — Yoonmin, side Taekook, and Namjin

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — Jimin had grown up watching his mother sort the point-oh-one percent beta defaults into the alpha-omega communities, but that doesn't make being a part of the statistic much easier. He'd be doing okay at this new omega thing if that watchful alpha Min Yoongi could stay out of the situation. He just wants to settle into his new life and finish his useless degree already. Instead, all hell breaks loose.

My Thoughts — This book is the one of the best a/b/o fics I have ever read in my entire life! Alpha’s and Omega’s live separate from Beta’s due to different instincts and Jimin was born in the beta community but presented as an omega. And it’s really funny because He keeps slipping up and doing/saying things that leave everyone else kind of like (0.0) The writing is fantastic! The characters are absolutely riveting as is the plot and the AUTHOR KEEPS TEADING ME ON TWITTER ABOUT HER NEXT UPDATE AND HOLY HELL IM BREAKING DOWN OVER HERE!!!

Jammed

Author — minverse

Pairing — Vmin, side Yoonseok, maybe Namjin?

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description —The rational part of Jimin's brain screams at him to remember what his mother said about strangers and vans. But the rational part of his brain is no match for really bad whiskey and Kim Taehyung. ((au where Jimin gets stuck on the interstate in the middle of a blizzard and Taehyung lives in a van))

My Thoughts — this book! *wheezes from laughter* is so funny! Jimin is trying to make it to Yoongi and Hoseok’s wedding (which he is kind of dreading because Hoseok is trying to set him up with his own best man) and he gets stuck in a blizzard and boom there’s Taehyung! A renowned author that decided to live in his van and travel the world while writing his new book. This book was so funny you guys! I was dying, there was a smut scene and it was pretty great. The whole book was phenomenal and I loved it so much. Because I have literally no self control I’m gonna add a sneak peak.

NU ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin

Author — decompositionbooks

Pairing — Jikook

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully.)

Description — The world didn't think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin's handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.

My Thoughts — this book was so good! Omega’s are really rare and Jimin is so against the stereotypes put on omega’s and he is CONVINCED that Jungkook thinks of him as a tiny child that needs protection and he’s such a little ball of rage and god it’s so funny and he’s so sarcastic and furious that he’s being forced into this cutesy image (that he refuses to admit he likes) and it’s so cute and hilarious.

In Your Eyes

Author — TrappingLighteningBugs

Pairing — Jikook

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut and light dim/sub in this so tread carefully)

Description — On nights where everything seems against him, Jimin wishes he could take Jungkook down a few pegs.

My Thoughts — I originally read this because I was trying to expand my view on what a dom!Jimin would look like for my Bunny Breath book but I actually really liked this a lot. The characterization was good, it wasn’t like most smut oneshots where the characters go at with like literally no push and seems to be mildly dubious consent. This was well thought out and I enjoyed reading it.

A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Author — blimpish

Pairing — Junghope

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut so tread carefully)

Description — When Jeongguk decides it's time to live out his fantasy of being knotted, he determines that Hoseok is the best (read: least awful) candidate for the job.

My Thoughts — I read this book because I’m a hoe for Junghope. But it’s really good! I remember feeling mildly dubious about it until I got to this really funny scene when Jungkook (a beta) asks Jimin (an omega)if he knows any alpha’s that wouldn’t be weirded out bu having sex with a beta and Jimin’s just like “I know three but your not gonna like it.” And after that it’s a hilarious conversation of them deciding which of their friends would be the least cringe worthy for Jungkook to sleep with. Jimin admits that Hoseok is great and it goes from there. BUT THERE IS A PLOT LINE!!! ITS NOT JUST SMUT!!

Unfamiliars

Author— themarmalade

Pairing — Yoonseok (my library is mostly Yoonseok.)

Rating — Mature (I can’t remember if there’s smut and it’s a long book so I don’t want to go read through all of it. Fuck I totally will but that’s beside the point. Read the tags when you click on the link.)

Description — Hoseok rescues a kitty in a summer storm. Thanks to some weird magic, Yoongi is that kitty. In a tiny apartment full of plants and moonlight, a simple, aching happiness blooms. But with what Jungkook knows, how long can the happiness last?

My Thoughts — this is so cute! Yoongi is just minding his own business when he accidentally steps into a warlocks spell pentagram and gets turned into a cat by Jin, he positively freaks the fuck out runs away, gets picked up by Hobi and things go from there. It’s so cute and soft and ima go read it BYE!!!!

Bad at Love

Author — shooky__bear

Pairing — Yoonseok with side Namjin.

Rating — Explicit (there is smut and definite don/sub so tread carefully.)

Description —Yoongi was pretty sure he was straight. Pretty sure (And not remotely interested in love or Jung Hoseok.) Alternatively ; that fic where yoon thinks he's straight and he's a bit of a slut and keeps fucking girls tho he likes hoseok and seoks a Patient Loving Gay who waits and Supports yoon through his Gay Crisis.

My Thoughts — this book is full of so much emotion and general truth. I love it so much, I cried several times when reading and admittedly geared up at the end. Hoseok was so sweet and patient and he had to literally teach Yoongi that it was ok to trust him and crap now I’m crying.

Take Me to the Edge

Author — Nasobem

Pairing — Yoonseok

Rating — Explicit (there is smut and Don/sub undertones so tread carefully)

Description —Yoongi takes a pointed step backwards and glares at "Hobi". "What the fuck kind of name is that," he says, "and don't touch me." Namjoon makes a funny noise. Yoongi ignores it for the sake of eviscerating "Hobi" with his stare. It seems to be weirdly ineffective. Or Yoongi is hired to work Tech Support and Security for Jung Corp and it'd honestly be pretty chill if it wasn't for this one obnoxiously handsome dude whose life mission it seems to be to bother Yoongi until he breaks.

My Thoughts— I love this book. Yoongi is such an angry little bean and Hoseok literally just wants to make him happy — the Maknae Line are little shits but what’s new there? This whole book is amazing. I wish I could find a good Vmin/Vhope/Minjoon/Sugakookie book like this. *cries*

Our Burned Bridges

Author — tendershipping (nothing about her ships are tender! *sobs*)

Pairing — Vminkook (she’s the Vmin queen)

Rating — Mature (no smut but brutal themes so tread carefully)

Description —Agent Jeon Jeongguk is given a cover story and assigned to guard amnesiac Kim Taehyung. (Taehyung has nightmares most nights after he wakes, at first. He screams and cries names Jeongguk doesn’t recognize, always one in particular—Jimin.)

My Thoughts— I’m, I’m so EMOTIONAL!!! I read it and was a literal mess halfway through and IT JUST GOT MORE DARK and *chokes* Vmin we’re MARRIED and enter Jimin who seems so bitter and mean and sarcastic but he’s really just broken and angry about things and — go read this. It has a happy ending to so win win.

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I have been so active tonight shit. Idk why. You know what. I’ma wait till tomorrow to upload this.

Is it tomorrow? It’s tomorrow. Have fun with this wonderful list of my FAVORITE FANFICS (only the Songbird and The Sea is my favorite lol)

[homokommari]

audi-tou

replied to your post

“bioshock infinity 2: detroit: become human: resistance is bad :)”

What’s all the bad stuff to happen so far?

we just finished watching a playthrough and oh man it’s so so so bad. 

under the cut bc its long and discusses heavy shit

like david cage literally just took the oppression of black americans and redid it poorly with androids. he literally believes in benevolent slave masters, like markus got the idea that he has worth like a human being literally from his owner. Owner. a guy who Owned him but was also nice to him. gag. and markus is non stop struggling with how oh no they are being violent in their quest to get basic human rights like what the hell else are literal slaves supposed to do? ask nicely to their nice slave masters to be seen as human? that literally was not what happened in america. 

but here david cage has no resorvations to use a black female character to parrot his bullshit about how black people were freed by nice white people and how they couldn’t have done it alone wuwuwuwu

talking of racism..... it’s supposedly isn’t a thing in detroit become human? in less than 2 decades america has completely gotten it’s systematic racism. not just macro agressions but micro agressions are all gone. how the hell did usa have complete liberation for people of colour without getting rid of the police OR poverty, BOTH which are a HUGE part of oppression of poc in america! like it makes no sense!

but altho racism is (SUPPOSEDLY) eradicated, sexism still perseveres! that’s right! characters will still yell BITCH! 

altho at the same time the game has a .... brother, i guess? with androids as sex workers. and it has this weird “it’s equality” thing going on where there are as many male androids being showed off as there are female androids. like the attraction of androids for sex is w/o a doubt the androids inability to not consent (making it also unable to consent!) and like since sexism still exists from the fact that womanhood is devalued, how come are those places not explicitly marketed towards men who want to be sexual/violent towards women? 

am i to believe that homophobia is such a non issue also in 20 years that gay men may openly seek out sex toys at a same place as straight men? like if we look at the statistics on male victims of rape, the rapists are more men. and that is because of society not caring for gay men being victims of rape, so male rapists can operate long without being caught if they target vulnerable gay men. so in this universe does homophobia exist still or not? it just makes no sense. 

the lesbian sex androids that fight in heels and underwear is so gross i don’t even wanna talk about it. im just gonna ask how can you write and masturbate at the same time?

and from that to my final complaint: kara & alice

so like this i can critique with the most insight since i am An Abused Child

and i knew we were in for some shit when i saw this

uhhh yeah. i also take antidepressants. so i don’t *** ********. and like it has a list of 280928389 side effects (none of which i’ve noticed to have so yay for me!) and the fact that they highlight that one. that fucking one. 

ANTIDEPRESSANT

Warning: this might turn you from a nice person to an abuser. :( but its ok i know this isnt u, its the meds <3

yeah. 

so before we witness the abuse we learn that the dad a) is taking that drug. b) lost their job (still had money for an android??? fuck me) and c) their wife left him and started a relationship with another person after that or possibly cheated on him. 

and the game is telling us these things as to say this is the reason this man is who he is. 

being an abuser has no relation to any of that stuff tho! and portraying an abuser like this has no relation to reality! 

and most importantly: in this time of sexual abuse in entertainment, politics, everywhere is being uncovered WE DO NOT NEED TO SYMPATHIZE WITH ABUSERS. we do not need to be made sympathize with the abusers when they are already given more sympathy than they deserve and victims are getting more abuse. 

and to come back to this story has no connection to reality... we live in a society that devalues women and worships men so in entertainment we are constantly showed stories of men being cheated on by women to get sympathy for the men. and the amount of men being shown cheating on women is nothing compared to the other way around, even though in reality men, powered by their male privilege, cheat on women statistically so much more. 

what is reality though? women leaving their husbands because he is abusive. that is a story that david cage could have told that would not have been completely disgusting, but no. 

and just the way alice is written... like someone just read like synopsis of a book on how children react to abuse from a parent and just wrote her parroting lines form the book. its so bad, unnatural, not at all how children react to abuse at that age and just creates plot holes. so alice whishes she could be like the other girls... how does she know what is and is not a normal home life. did she discuss her situation with other people and they shared their different, healthier experiances with their parents? if so why wasn’t the goverment or school or neighborhood involved?

also racism is supposedly eradicated but when kara and alice meet luther for the first time they flinch away....?! just because he’s a tall black man?!?

sooooooo when luther gains independence from his programming (being inspired by 2 white people.... gag) and joins them & they start having this family dynamic its super uncomfortable racist. a black man protecting white womanhood. 

and rose, a black woman, takes that role after luther.... like literally they just have black characters protect these white women with all they have.....

and the game is so........ dude-y. all full of dudes. what does being human mean to the very few women in the game? protectin others => motherhood.

sigh. and that is why i ask you to go donate to my gofundme to get a hitman on david cage. 

[wildgrave]

a long ass post in which i discuss my v interesting day (including discussion on the racial inequality in the justice system & how we can stop conservatives from yelling about how undocumented immigrants are “taking our jobs”).

in race & ethnicity, we’re on our crime & punishment unit, and today one of my classmates spoke to our class about his experience with incarceration. 

essentially, he and a friend stole $57. he was a minor, and got 20 years. his friend was an adult, and got 18 months. all the other variables were the same -- same record, same judge, same public defendant -- except for race. the guy in my class is black, and his friend is white.

he talked a lot about his experience in prison and how fucked it is. how they do nothing to help or change or educate you, and how everything he learned while in prison was from his fellow inmates or from his own self-reflection (he spent a year in solitary confinement). he got out after 6 years after appealing his case with money he didn’t have (he was being paid 50 odd cents an hour) and is now on parole until 2037. and, of course, besides being given no help with rehabilitation, he’s also marked a felon for life, meaning that he can’t vote and it’s almost impossible to get a job (and part of his parole is that he must have a job).

he talked for about an hour, and everything he said was moving in one way or another. but the most moving thing by far was at the end, when a girl asked whether or not he regretted stealing the money. he said he didn’t, because otherwise he would have never known how fucked the system was, and wouldn’t now be able to advocate for change.

after class, i thanked him, and told him that he moved me. what i didn’t say was that he had literally changed my entire perspective. of course, i knew about racial inequality in the criminal justice system. 1 in 3 black men will be incarcerated. 1 in 6 latino men. 1 in 17 white men. i knew the numbers, but there’s a difference between reading a textbook and listening to someone who has been through it all speak to your face.

but it made me reconsider my entire career objective. i know i want to do something that helps people, and that i’m altruistic and want to make change -- why not this specific area?

but i had to go to my next class, which ended up being equally as interesting, but for completely different reasons.

we started off with a group presentation which is supposed to take 10 minutes. it took 45 minutes, because it sparked a debate. “debate” is putting it nicely. crudely put, we tore em a new one.

the presentation was about immigration from central and south america to the united states. the first two guys in the group both seemed liberal, but when the third guy started talking, it was clear where he stood, because the other two literally looked miserable as he rambled on and on about how dangerous undocumented immigrants are and how most of them bring drugs and how a wall is a good solution.

at the end, he asked for questions, which is where it all started.

first, i asked why he kept saying “they’re taking our jobs”. why does he feel that it’s his job to begin with? why does he feel a sense of entitlement for a job he doesn’t even want.

then, another guy, who it has been revealed to me has done extensive work to help undocumented immigrants (among other things), started SPITTING STATISTICS. this guy was literal fire. first he backed up my idea about american citizens not even wanting the jobs undocumented immigrants take -- 5% of american citizens are unemployed. out of that, 85% do not even look at jobs taken by undocumented immigrants. that means that less than one percent of americans are actually in competition for jobs with undocumented immigrants. 

seriously, this guy was amazing. he knew facts on top of facts off the top of his head, and he came for these guys. he questioned their sources and countered their claims.

after 45 minutes into class, my professor cut him off because we needed to actually do our lesson. i have no idea what it was, by the way, because i proceeded to start tweeting about unionization and undocumented immigrants -- you know, your classic liberal staples.

at the end of class, i approached the guy who had DESTROYED the presenter and told him how much i liked what he had to say. we ended up going to the cafeteria and talking for nearly two hours about various political things. he was really, really well read and interesting. he worked for a lot of things i like, like bernie’s campaign & black lives matter & this program to help relieve marginalized and migrant women of the poverty cycle. overall, v cool dude.

it wasnt until around 5pm that i remembered i had a project due at midnight. so i said goodbye and went home and FOUND OUT I CAN PUT MY BANGS INTO SPACE BUNS, TAKE THAT LONG HAIR, and just finished my project!

the assignment was to write a memo to a politician addressing an issue and providing a solution. i had no idea what to write about, so being under a time crunch, naturally i checked twitter. and i saw what i had been tweeting during class. and i thought, why not?

so i wrote my memo to senator tim kaine with an idea. and, keep in mind, i have no idea if this is actually plausible, but it theoretically makes sense, and i have some historical context so that its logical. 

essentially, my idea was on how to combat the issues that conservatives claim undocumented immigrants have on the economy/job market. the two main problems i was combating were 1) american citizens jobs being taken, and 2) benefiting from public goods without contributing thru taxes. i personally know that neither of these things are really an issue, but i was trying to find a solution to get republicans to shut up.

the solution i made up? repeal right-to-work in virginia & allow undocumented immigrants to unionize (which, coincidentally, is THE most left-wing sentence i have ever spoken).

i started off by explaining how right to work is NOT in the state constitution (we voted against adding it on election day) and therefore it is able to be repealed. then i made the historical comparisons between how we talked about black ppl post-civil war and how we talk about undocumented immigrants now. that is to say, white ppl have been using the same “they’re taking my job!” rhetoric for a long ass time.

my main comparison was during industrialization, when rly the only jobs black people could get were factory jobs or manual labor. since there werent many employment opportunities, they were willing to get less $$$. aside from replacing white workers with black workers aka cheaper labor, corporations also called in black ppl when white ppl went on strike. this created somewhat of a race war in the factory industry, which benefited neither race, but DID benefit the corp. a helluva whole lot, bc now they had workers COMPETING, and they could lower wages even more.

what solved this, you ask???? ALLOWING BLACK PPL INTO UNIONS. that way, they too could get fair pay, and since everyone was being paid the same, stopped racial competition in factories (for the most part; im generalizing a lot tho). 

so why not do the same thing now?? get rid of right to work in VA, and allow undocumented immigrants to join unions, thus stopping the undocumented workers vs. american citizen workers dichotomy that republicans especially have been trying to (and succeeding in) shoving down our throats and creating FEAR.

in addition, it puts an end to the “they don’t pay their fair share!” rhetoric. since undocumented immigrants are now apart of unions, their pay is no longer under the table. its legal. its traceable. its taxable. no more hearing ppl bullshit around about freeloading.

overall, i have no idea if thats actually, like, feasible, but i’d say it’s a pretty good idea for a project that i did in an hour. 

anyway that was my day & i know i rambled a LOT but cmon guys its ME, what did you EXPECT?>>>??

[dear-diary-what-up]

December 2, 2018 Sunday 10:52 pm

Dear Diary iiitttss been a while,

Three months roughly and boy oh boy has a lot happened. I looked back at the other post I wrote that was after a few months and it summarized what happened then and I was like “hmm okay yeah maybe I’m not a daily diary keeper I’m more of a every few months Diary keeper lmao” so that might just become my motif on here plus it will be easier to go through everything in the future

So now I guess it’s life summary time ayyyy

August-

So where I left off in August it was before I went to aunt Jennifer’s house so I’ll pick up there. We went to aunt Jennifer’s and did the usual, play board games, watched big brother, went to north west trek this year which was fun and I got some good memories from that. But the biggest thing that happened while I was there was I! Got! A! Boyfriend!!!!! Insane I know well technically not a boyfriend but we confessed our feelings and yeah haha but I’ll get into more detail about him in the next post lol but yeah then agust finished in a chill way it was a good month nothing to memorable happened near the end which is okay

September-

On the first I officially got into a relationship so woo! But other things that happens this month was going to Disney land!!! It was awesome and California was awesome. I’m gonna go through the Disney land trip in bullet points

We took a plane there and it was crazy we flew super high and the landing was easily the scariest part for me

We took an Uber for the first time as well a lot of firsts in Cali

The hotel was nice and had head boards that lit up with the Disney castle

The hotel swimming pool was ultra salty like wtf was up with that and not very deep at all smh

It got very hot in Cali even in September so that’s a scam pretty much

The rides were really fun but fast passes are 100% necessary otherwise all of your time will be spent in lines

My favorite rides in Disney land was the boat tour ride, space mountain, Nemo, and thunder mountain

California adventures was just as fun but had better rides in my opinion it was fun

Favorite rides from California adventures were the rollercoaster, gaurdians of the galaxy, the inner tube ride, sky tours, and the cars ride surprisingly enough

All the food was really good

I got a really cute small back pack with Minnie Mouse bows on it

It was a really good time I loved it the heat was hard to deal with and mom and dad fought but it was really really fun

And that was Disney land I highly recommend going other things that happened in September we’re going back to school again but lucky for me they were all pretty easy I took statistics, technical writing, and macroeconomics. So yay that was nice. And that’s really it for September

October-

The fam realized that the heater was broken and it turned out to be that the motor wouldn’t work any more so now we are getting a heating system and the heater guys are coming tomorrow December 3-6 and that’s totally fun rip. School was fine in October which is always nice not too much happened that month. We handed out candy for the first time which was fun. Dad was really excited about handing out candy so I felt bad for him when we barely got any trick or treaters only two groups of kids the first one being two kids, then the next group three kids , and at like 10 some adults came for some candy which dad didn’t like I felt bad for him but not much I could have done. I worked out with krissa near the end of it tho so nice

I’ll continue this recap tomorrow cause I’m getting a headache byyyeee

Continued December 4th 1:09 pm

Okay sorry I died I had finals and I got...sidetracked... with gage last night lmaoooo

Anyway

November-

Was also chill school was tolerable, no super big mental break downs oh wait there was one when my laptop flopped on me and i broke down cause I had an entire paper due the next day and zero percent of it done but it got there. Thanksgiving was sub par in my opinion in regards to food and hanging out with fam was also eh the best part was when me and krissa drove to pick up Eddie but before we actually got him. Though I did look cute as fuuuuccckk honestly it was The cutest outfit Eva it was my hamilton dress and boots and coat and my make up was on point so woo on that

December-

It’s only been about four days of December but ya know why not share my life lmao but yeah finals are upon me had my first one today and my last two tomorrow and I’m gonna like flop my macroeconomics final so rip me on that but after it’s done I’m done forever and let’s just hope I don’t fail macro lmao but yeah that’s been my life so far

Some future plans for me, katelynn, is doing better at school aka not procrastinating. I’m gonna use a planner for 2019 and hope that helps me keep track of it and ooo yeah my boi gage is probably gonna be coming soon but more on that in my relationship post.

But yeah thats my life update so woo I’ll see you in another three months probably lmao but yeah you know I always try to be consistent and then fail then come back so yeah byeeee