#when i consistently go to bed too late and don’t get enough sleep and yet? i do it anyway 😩

[lesbianlenas]

having a great start to 2025 👍 got a migraine yesterday (wasn’t a terrible migraine bc it wasn’t so bad i had to throw up or anything but i DID sleep for 13 hrs after 😭) and then today i didn’t take my ritalin after also not taking it on tuesday & usually i’m fine when i do that but today it made me feel nauseous all day so i am 0/2 on feeling well in 2025 love that for me!

[n0tamused]

Do you have any Avenchurin headcanons please, anything you got to feed us?

A/n: I have some unreleased hcs that I wrote some time ago for a friend that I hope you enjoy!

Contents: Aventurine x GN! Reader, fluff, sleeping hcs, hand holding hcs, his reaction to different forms of affection from you, all sfw

Sleeping

-Aventurine and cuddling are something that somehow occurs rarely, yet they go hand in hand so well 

- The man needs comfort more than so many others it's undeniable, and once he warms up to you he really does crave that physical touch and affection a lot more openly. He needs it more and more until he's all but crawling into you, slotting himself between your arms without a word in silent worry you might not accept him

- But you do and when that settles in his mind he really clings on. He wraps his arms around you and does not let go, nuzzling into you, your neck, your hair, your chest, your back, all depending on your positions and preferences at the moment 

- His favorite position would be something face to face, or rather front to front as he does like to nuzzle into your neck a lot so it's not really eye to eye lol

- He prefers hugging you from the back and cuddling like that when he doesn't really want to face you if he's got something troubling him and he just wants to feel as if he's enough to hold you. Just some little trick he plays with himself ig

- loves when you run your fingers through his hair, and often falls asleep like that, his hold on you slowly growing looser as he slips into slumber

-He has a tendency to seek you out in his sleep at times, he just needs to feel your warmth, especially when the days get rougher and days become darker. You’ll just randomly wake up with his head on your chest or his hand holding yours.

-Aventurine and sleep can vary from time to time and depending on the activities during the day really. He isn’t exactly constant with his sleep schedule. So if he’s had a long, tiring  and busy day he would sleep for longer and go to bed earlier, with his mornings consisting of a few “five more minutes please” if you try to wake him up. His work time doesn’t start too early anyway, so please don’t wake him (his words, not mine)(wake him up)(he needs to get to work-)

- On the other side, if he didn’t have much to do during the day or the activities were more on the satisfying end for him, he does tend to have some form of late night “zoomies” and doesn’t go to bed until at least 1am. It’s not like he is jumping around the house and bouncing off of walls, but he is still talkative, a big chatterbox, and could definitely use a walk to blow some energy off before finally deeming himself tired enough to attempt falling asleep. Playing card games with him also is a nice way to unwind, even if you're too tired to speak, Aventurine will talk for the both of you.

-However, sometimes he stays up for another reason, and that being his own emotional state that comes back to bite him in the rear just when he thinks he has forgotten enough about it, but ignoring it only postpones the issue. Staring at the bedroom ceiling until the early hours of the morning and with his head clouded with thoughts, he tends to just …exist.. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he feels he’s too numb to even do that. Either way, his sleep is fucked wholly in this scenario, and he has half the thought to take a sick day for himself

-As for bed sharing and cuddles - Aventurine doesn’t mind sharing in the slightest, if anything it can be quite comforting. He only makes an exception to this rule when either one of you needs privacy and some time to yourselves. He doesn’t really care if you happen to steal his blanket either. Take it, he’s used to sleeping however and can sleep in most positions, warm or cold. In terms of positions - he doesn’t have a favorite

-As for cuddles, in the start of your relationship he likes to fall asleep solo, with you there if you’re already sharing the bed, but he will crawl to you, be it due to his dreams or in some half asleep- half awake faze in the middle of the night

-He goes for either his head on your chest or in your neck or spooning, can be quite the big cuddler as you grow even closer

Hand holding

- He has gloves on a lot of times but when he goes to hold your hand he does stop to take a glove off, he really does prefer skin on skin contact and, although a minute detail in day to day life, he appreciates it a lot

- If you two are walking he does prefer to hold your hand in a way where your fingers interlock together, just feels so safe and warm and y'all can drag eachother around comfortably and it also shows a side of Aven he often hides. 

- side note(?): Aventurine would love to just pretend for a day or two. And by that I mean he'd love to take you to a planet where both of you are just two nobodies with no names, and he'd love to change out of his signature attire and just be a nobody with you, enjoying the small "meaningless" things with you on this unknown world. In short- being human with you is his fantasy, a dream

- back on track- he prefers if you hold his right hand since he doesn't want you to feel his left one shaking when he's afraid/nervous (if I got the order wrong, don't mind me, just flip em around)

- but if you insist on holding his left arm, he prefers if you hold him by the elbow a lot of times instead of going for your usual interlocked fingers

- if you insist further, he sighs softly as you hold his shaky hand and he internally melts too, occasionally. It does comfort him when you caress that hand or play with his fingers or the rings he wears on them. It gives him something else to focus on and it brings the cacophony in his mind down

Reactions to different ways of affection

- Aventurine has a rather similar reaction to most displays of affection but that doesn't mean they're any less genuine, and there's always a small variation in the way his eyes light up or how big his smile is - it's just that an ordinary person wouldn't quite catch these variations 

-Sometimes, if you manage to catch his reactions on camera they can be quite the precious keepsakes

- How Aventurine melts into the palm of your hand when you cups his cheek, leaning some of his weight into it like an oversized cat and looking at you with shimmering, colorful eyes that just scream "oh how much I love you", his cheeks dusted with faintest of reds

- How Aventurine chuckles, laughs, when you give him a kiss on the cheek or on his temple without any warning sign you'd do anything like that. His hand scratches back at his nape as he waves it off but teases you simultaneously. How could you ever miss the sheen of want in his eyes, the way they glaze over and look at you for the rest of the evening in silent admiration

- Most favorite of all, and especially during the night, Aventurine loves the feel of your fingers through his hair. He looks and feels calmer, he feels human and he feels seen. He feels all his sins and worries melt from his body to get soaked by the mattress beneath him. And he hums shortly, low in his throat as he slowly feels sleep cloud his mind like heavy, comforting mist. And he has the most important person in his life in his hold... he's holding the whole world in his arms tonight.

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[weirdsht]

Hi! Good day/evening to you. Would it be alright if we get more of yan!cale? 😽 I read ur yan!cale stories and I deeply stand by you.

Overboard

notes: i'm not experienced with writing yanderes and I couldn't think of a specific scenarios so i went with this a short fic instead. If you have any scenarios in mind feel free to send them and i'll do my best to deliver!

tags: subtle yandere cale (tbh you have to squint huhu), established relationship, vague novel spoilers

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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The clock strikes just after midnight. It was quiet as everyone had gone to their designated rooms to sleep.

Almost everyone that is.

Cale and Ron are still awake and talking. With the young master sitting on the couch and the servant standing up beside him as he reads the documents he has been given.

Usually, Cale would have been asleep long ago. At this time he would be cuddling with his significant other and the children averaging nine years old. In fact, he can hear the bed that’s just 10 steps away calling him already.

But alas he still has something to do.

“A viscount’s son huh? Where does he get the audacity to try and touch what’s mine?”

Ron stayed silent at his young master’s calm voice. Instead, he peeked at the document in Cale’s hand.

The document was something the servant had written himself. It consisted of every detail that happened when Cale’s significant other was away. Getting a much-needed vacation after being cooped up at the underground villa during the entirety of the war.

It consisted of places they went to. Things they bought. People they talked to. Even things they looked at for more than 30 seconds.

Every move they made was written in that document.

“Ron, everyone knows that the Henituse is a duchy now right?”

“Of course young master.”

“And everyone knows who my significant other is right?”

“Yes, young master. You are a famous figure in both continents, your significant other is bound to be known too.”

Usually, Cale would grimace at the thought of him being famous. But not right now.

“Then why would such a lowly noble like this trash here dare make a move on _____?”

“Some rabbits just don’t know the value of their lives, young master.”

Cale could feel his anger rising. However, he held it in. He can’t raise his voice right now. Not only was it late but _____ and the children were already asleep on the bed a few steps away from him.

Huuu

“I wanted for _____ to relax for once. The war was quite detrimental to their health.”

The young master sighed once more before fully calming down.

“You did a good job not letting that bastard go near them again after the 2nd time it happened.”

Ron flashed his usual benign smile at the compliment. Despite that, Cale could see in the old man’s eyes that he was not yet satisfied.

“Was _____ bothered that much?”

“Yes, young master. They felt distraught during the first two days of their vacation because of him.”

Ah, so that’s why Ron was still angry.

“Then I guess looting him dry won’t be enough. I’ll you handle the rest. Go do whatever will ease your heart. Just make sure to clean up afterwards.”

Molan’s last patriarch only bowed before going out of Cale’s room. The documents that Cale had been reading are in his hands, ready to be burned at the fireplace. Despite the lack of verbal response from the benign old man, Cale knows he will follow the orders given to him.

Which was why he could go back to bed with a lighter heart.

Meanwhile, the documents are now successfully fueling the fireplace of the villa. Ron watches the paper turn to ash. He oversees how the last thing that was burned was the description of the viscount’s son. Written below that was his offence.

His crime?

Trying to flirt with _____. Twice.

Even had the nerve to say a pickup line.

“Maybe I’ll let Choi Han handle him instead.”

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

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chapter vi. (wc: .9k)

Qian Kun’s arms were quick to hold onto your waist as you stumbled onto the couch in Yangyang and Dejun’s living room. Having been a Friday night with no late classes, you decided there was no harm in indulging in some alcohol alongside your best friends - you just hadn’t known they were going to invite more people.

The group wasn’t too large, consisting of four of their other friends; Qian Kun, Dong Sicheng, Hendery and Ten. You’re sure for the last two that that wasn’t their real name yet it’s what they introduced themselves as so you simply assumed it’s what they preferred to be called. You had seen Hendery briefly in the hallways of your high school years ago, yet never interacted with him, and the rest of the bunch was too old to relate.

You’re unsure of whether it’s the alcohol or your desperate need to find more friends considering you had been dropped by several, but you were more social than normal tonight. Hanging off of Kun’s arms and sitting next to him, you shared a smile which he returned before you slumped over, placing your head on his shoulder. Dejun, Sicheng and Hendery were on the floor, all rambling about some random topic, and the two others were loudly attempting to perfect a Ke$ha Just Dance routine.

Kun was extremely welcoming from the beginning, offering you nothing but inviting smiles and kind words, and as an emotional and dependent drunk, you decided to cling on him the whole night. Around one hour into your intoxicated hangout, you began to reminisce about your relationship and surprisingly enough, he was nice enough to encourage you to talk about it.

“So he thinks you cheated?” “Yes…” “But you didn’t?” 

“No!” You exclaimed at his question, shaking your head dramatically and sighing, a familiar feeling of defeat rising in your mind, expecting Kun to either have a laugh or call you a liar, yet he did neither. “I think you should find a way to contact Renjun maybe, or someone else in the friend group. I mean, Jisung’s obviously not going to listen to you so I think your best bet is proving your innocence to one of his friends.” Your eyes widened a bit as his advice before nodding your head, going back to your relaxed state. “You’re right, but they all blocked me.” “Well you said Jaemin contacted you. I’m sure they’ll get over their fight soon and maybe if you meet up with him and give him solid proof he could actually defend you correctly.” He responded, moving his arm from your waist to stroke your hair instead. The comforting action had you closing your eyes in peace and sinking further into the couch.

“You know, I should’ve dated you instead. You’re nice to me.” You claimed boldly, half-joking and a laugh came out of Kun’s mouth before he shook his head. “You’re pretty Y/n, but I think you’re in love so don’t say those things.” Before you could retaliate or agree, Yangyang walked up to you and pulled your sleeve. “Y/n, come play…” He dragged out his words, being the most drunk of the group. It was a miracle he could even walk, let alone dance. Your mouth protested and whined, yet you put no resistance when his arms wrapped around your own, redirecting you to the other side of the living room.

The rest of the evening was spent laughing and dancing horribly, and at the end of the night you ended up on the couch, changed into a spare set of Dejun’s clothes and covered with a fuzzy blanket. Sicheng and Hendery went home, yet Kun and Ten lived significantly further, so they also shared the living room alongside you, taking the floor and sleeping on a makeshift bed instead. 

When the morning came, your head pounded harshly, and to your luck Kun had woken up an hour before, meaning he had time to place a painkiller on the table next to you with a glass of water. After taking it and drinking, you moved to the kitchen where Dejun was cooking (and butchering) eggs and bacon. 

“Are you trying to feed us or poison us, Xiao?” You joked, looking at the brown state of the eggs which were supposed to be fluffy and yellow. A familiar laugh joined in from behind you, and you turned around to see Kun entering the room. You smiled timidly at him, embarrassed for how you acted last night. “I’m sorry for being weird…” “Don’t worry, Y/n. I’ll count you crying to me as a great ice breaker.” You groaned, feeling even more shameful at his words, making him chuckle more. “I’m just teasing. I don’t know if you remember though but you should contact Jaemin. Or at least that’s what I’d do.” You nod, shooting him a grateful smile before opening the fridge and pulling out a yogurt. Hell would freeze over before you even came close to Dejun’s abomination. 

After an eventful breakfast in which Yangyang, desperate to eat as he woke up later than everybody else, ended up choking on the nasty food and everyone recapped the previous night, you headed home. Thinking over Kun's words, you decided to gain the courage to talk to Jaemin. Opening your phone, you nervously clicked on his contact, creating a draft of what you’d say to convince him to help you. 

a/n: we're so back everybody ^_^ do you guys fw written chapters in smaus be honest... idk if they're boring or not but since i can't find an app for gcs i fear i'm not as able to expand the plot without them :c

i'm a bit behind in school work cuz college is beating me up but once i get it finished with i'll be able to post a lot more trust :3

[cas-kingdom]

I’m in love with your criminal minds Drabbles!! If possible I’d love to see some bonding between hotch and Reid’s sister <333

You sleeping in arbitrary places wasn't exactly a rarity around the BAU. Not quite yet an official member of the team—though somehow Hotch had enrolled you in some sort of experience programme you were pretty sure he'd made up for your benefit—you had to make do with stiff seats and tucked away corners on the daily as you waited for Spencer to finish his work. Surprisingly, the long days and even longer nights hadn't seemed to sway your wish to join the team just yet, though no one had placed any bets that it would.

Even so, said arbitrary places weren't exactly made use of at nearing midnight on a Friday. Having returned from Gideon's case just that evening, Hotch had sent everyone home with their promises of sleep before hiding himself away in his office to complete some work before the weekend. By the time he'd finished, the bureau had settled into the usual ambience consisting of the few late night workers and janitors.

He headed into the break room with the intention of grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and heading straight home, but the sudden sight of you and yet another of your arbitrary sleeping spots told him that might not be achievable just yet.

You were curled up on the break room couch, a stack of pillows under your head and what looked to be your brother's tweed jacket doing its best to act as a blanket. Hotch stared for a moment, concern slowly pushing away his brief amusement at the situation, and rose a brow when one of your eyes opened to stare at him.

"Hotch," you greeted, not at all groggily, which told him you probably hadn't slept.

Hotch put his bag down and seated himself on the end of the couch. "Y/N, what’re you still doing here?" he asked gently. He put a comforting hand on your ankle under the jacket and you sat up, tucking your frizzy hair behind your ears.

You yawned and shrugged. "Sleeping. Or, lying down, rather."

“I mean in the building." He smiled at your belated look of realisation. "Is Spencer still here?"

The expression on your face grew from tired to exhausted at the mere mention of your brother. Hotch sat back and crossed his arms, an instinctive movement when he figured some profiling may have to come into play. Those lines settled against his brow as he waited for your response.

You picked at a loose thread in the couch. “Playing chess," you said, then looked knowingly up at him. "I know what you’re gonna say, Hotch, but it’s easier to just leave him and let him do his thing. Gideon’s death hit him hard.”

Hotch nodded slowly. “I know. But what about you?”

“I don’t remember Gideon much.”

A corner of his lips curved upwards. Trust you to worry the least about yourself.

"I don’t mean that," he said gently, wondering how his next words would be taken. "Spencer has a tendency to forget about the people around him when he gets himself into one of these states. Now—" He pointed a finger at you before you could rise to your brother's defense "—that's not his fault, and he'll come out of it soon enough. But in the meantime, I don’t want you sleeping here until morning, Y/N." His fatherly instincts long having kicked in, his eyebrows rose in solemnity. "You need some proper rest in your own bed. The couch isn't going to cut it.”

You breathed a dubious laugh, still pulling at the thread. “Spencer has no plans on coming home tonight. Rossi’s already tried.”

“Then let me drive you home?" Your fingers paused and your mouth twisted in thought. Your face was hidden by a curtain of hair, but Hotch dipped his head enough to see your expression. He smiled knowingly. You didn't want to be alone. "Or…I can set up the spare room at mine?”

You peered up at him and for the first time he noted your level of exhaustion. Not only had you been kept physically awake by Spencer's turmoil, but your anxiety about the situation had mentally drained you, too. With your mother states away in a facility and your father completely written out of the picture, Spencer was your person and had been since he'd taken custody of you at four years old. When he wasn't himself, neither were you, and Hotch had always known it.

You took a second to respond, looking past him and out the open door for a moment before returning your gaze to his. "You don't mind?"

Hotch smiled and squeezed your shoulder in reassurance. The end of your storm was near, he was sure.

"Of course not," he said. "You get yourself ready and I'll tell Spencer."

Criminal Minds Masterpost

[infinite-orangepeel]

‘It’s Rotten Work’ Pt. 7 Excerpt: Eddie & Robin Talk About Steve While He’s Sleeping

cw: brief mentions of eddie’s childhood experiences surrounding his parents’ addiction

(click the link above to read the rest of the chapter !!)

Eddie crouches and warms his hands in front of the hearth. His knees crack as he bends. Robin doesn’t say anything for a while. Flips through expired deals, taps her toes, and looks at him sideways as if she’s trying to figure him out. His aims. His motives. What his intentions are with her pomme d’amour.

Boy with the candy apple soul.

“You make him happy,” she blurts, at last, “it scares me.”

Eddie winces, because this conversation was always bound to be difficult. He’s been nervously anticipating it since she showed up on the porch earlier with bags of provisions in hand.

Let’s not talk about this, he wants to say, He’s sleeping, he’s dreaming, we’ll ruin it. Let’s not ruin it. Let him dream. Let him go wherever his imagination takes him. Far away–far, far, away. He’s with the seagulls and the ocean. He’s safe.

Supplication isn’t Eddie’s forte. Pride keeps him on his feet.

“He deserves to be happy, but you’re plenty justified in not wanting him to find that happiness with me. I get it. Even I don’t think I’m the best choice for him, but he's here and I can’t abandon him. He needs someone. He needs help. He’s—he hurts too much when he’s alone.”

Perhaps, he’s said too much.

Perhaps, he should excuse himself and go to bed. It’s getting late. The moon’s out. He has no hair to hide under anymore. Buzzcut sticking out the cold of winter. He misses his curls and warm July and his mother’s arms.

And, the thought of violating Steve’s trust makes him sick to his stomach. But Eddie’s grown so tired of pretending everything’s okay.

Nothing is.

He was raised to spread lies to the suits of social services; ‘Mommy’s sleeping. She has the flu,’ ‘Daddy’s on a trip to Philadelphia for business,’ and ‘No one ever hits me. I got this bruise on the playground–fell off the slide.���

His growing pains consisted of pricing out baggies of cocaine and aluminum foil wrappers of heroin while his feet dangled from the kitchen table. Broken crayons pushed to the side so he could do his job. Not yet tall enough to touch the blizzard on the carpet. Child labor laws don’t do shit when you’re in the ‘safety’ of your own home.

He can’t lie anymore.

Robin sighs. Pulls her hair into a small bun at the nape of her neck and twists. ABBA hits the halfway point on the vinyl–‘Knowing me, Knowing you’–for the second time that evening. She fiddles with the matching friendship bracelet on her wrist. The knots aren’t nearly as tight as the ones she made on Steves’.

How long will it last? How long until the threads snap from straining past their breaking points?

“It’s just—you’re his whole world, I think. He looks at you like you’re the answer to every hurt he’s ever felt. I’ve never seen him so— infatuated —with someone.”

Infatuation isn’t love. Like Stevia isn’t sugar. Like cocaine isn’t a mother’s lullaby.

She never sang him to sleep.

Mama.

Eddie sang himself to sleep. Curled knobby knees into his chest under damp blankets, because there was a leak in the ceiling they didn’t have the money to fix and sang snippets of Beatnik tunes.

Words he was too young to understand the true meaning of gave him something to hold onto in the dark. Junkyard hymns and wolves howling to hush the quickened hearts of black lambs.

“It works for now, but he’s running away, Eddie. You can’t– we can’t–ignore his bad habits as much as he may want us to.”

“He’s trying to get better—”

Eddie’s not sure he believes that, himself. He says it because it sounds like the right thing. He says it because it’s what he thinks Robin, Steve’s best friend, wants to hear.

“You’re right, but who is he trying to get better for? Steve–the thing about him is–there’s milkweed in my mom’s garden–”

“Milkweed? The plant?”

In middle school, Eddie’s neighbor paid him ten bucks–one Saturday a month–to mow the lawn and pull Milkweed among other invasive species from his yard. However, his side gig had ended when the man asked him to use a BB gun to ‘remove’ ground squirrels from the property. In tears, he’d biked home and refused to ever go back.

Eddie was ten.

“The plant, yes. A few years ago, my mom asked Steve and I to spend an afternoon spraying weed killer around the perimeter of the garden so it would stop growing, but Steve wouldn’t have it.”

“Why not? Too much work? Didn’t wanna fuck up his hair?” he jokes.

Robin doesn’t laugh.

“The butterflies,” she points to a pair of butterfly wings in black ink on the side of her red shoes–he must have drawn them earlier today, “He cried, Eddie. Not a lot. Not sobbing, but there were tears on his cheeks when he told us that we couldn’t touch the milkweed, because caterpillars like to spin their cocoons on it. If you’d told my high school self that Steve Harrington would be crying in my backyard over the lives of the local butterfly population someday? I’d never have believed you. But, he did. He blocked off an entire section of the garden and bought all this fancy wiring so the birds couldn’t get to them while they grew. He came back every other day to check on them. Sometimes I wasn’t even home.”

Eddie can see it. Has seen it–many times. Steve champions the underdog without question. He’s done it for Eddie. He’s done it for the kids. The only person he won’t do it for is–

“He’ll go to war for anyone, but himself. I mean–the guy fought a Demogorgon, the Mind Flayer, and Vecna to protect Hawkins. Those kids are his world. He’ll fight for them and me and Nance and you and the butterflies, but he sees no reason to fight for himself.”

A pack of Lucky Strikes beckons to Eddie from the coffee table.

How many times in one life can you make the same mistake? How many times does it take before your brain catches up to your heart?

“Steve was supposed to go to college, make friends , get out of Hawkins,” she trails off, grinding her teeth together in frustration like a nutcracker caught on a stubborn walnut, “I don’t know what to do. As long as you’re here, he’ll stay. And, if you leave, it’ll kill him. I feel like I’m staring down a dead end street with a gun to the back of my head and my hands tied. It keeps me up at night, because he saved me–more than once–but I’m at a loss now. What kind of best friend does that make me?”

A memory arises. A flight to Kentucky to stay with Wayne’s second cousin for a family wedding. Thirty-six thousand feet in the air, Eddie focused on two things to keep his mind off of sudden death–complimentary pretzels and the flight attendant’s warning to ‘ put your own mask on first, before helping others.’

Recited it in his head like a prayer. He prepared for the worst, ate through three bags of pretzels, and only found peace when the plane touched down in Louisville.

Steve had flown all over the world. Eddie traveled vicariously through his descriptions of European villas, relics he’d only seen in history books, the blue waters caressing the Mediterranean coast.

‘Put your own mask on first, before helping others.’

Thousands of dollars in airfare, the best hotels money could buy, and numerous upgrades to first class. Mr. and Mrs. Harrington’s cash clogging the drain while Steve drowned in exotic porcelain bathtubs.

“I’m sorry. I should have called you. I should have explained. I never meant for it to be like this. I showed up at his house and he was scared out of his mind. He was having a panic attack for fuck’s sake. He looked at me and I hardly recognized the guy standing in front of me, Robin. I��I couldn’t leave him.”

Steve looked so frail that day. Oversized t-shirt hanging off his hunched shoulders, eyes shot red from crying, dead boy walking–Eddie never stood a chance.

Broken wings needed fixing and Eddie Munson was good at putting things back together.

More than that, he knew how much it hurt to be broken. He knew how much it ached to be alone. The nights were long, the calls came few and far between, no one told you not to burn yourself on the stove when you stopped feeling real and went looking for a quick fix.

Only the howls of the wolves keep you company when everyone else walks away.

It didn’t help that Steve was also so fucking beautiful.

Covered in snot, tears, dripping blood, scars, flesh wounds, brain damage, vomit–he was Eddie’s sun. Only able to flourish due to the blessing of his golden rays. Like Milkweed and butterflies and strawberries for flaky pie.

[hokiis-writing-dump]

Genshin Team Sleeping Trend, but I write about it instead.

So I’m back from a long time of no writing at all, and there’s no real reason for my absence besides me burning out. I stopped playing Genshin for a while and didn’t really keep in touch with any content for it either. Don’t expect this to be really all that accurate with storyline (because I did sorta not pay too much attention during Sumeru’s story, I got tired of how long it was) but it’s taking place after the most recent lantern rite. I can’t guarantee I’ll stay consistent with a schedule, so honestly, expect more of me posting at random when I’m in the mood, lol.

Characters in my team: Aether, Kazuha, Albedo and Heizou

Content Includes: Maybe ooc characters bc I haven't written for genshin in a long time, no paimon bc idk how to write for her, Scaramouche/Wander mentioned to be in the teapot but not with the others, teapot layout is the one thats like...water and islands. forgot what its called.

Extra Headcanons:

They're kinda relevant for this, but both Traveler(Aether in this case) and Wanderer don't sleep. Wanderer because he's a puppet, Aether because...well he's not human. That's a headcanon thats lenghty, so i wont explain it here. Okay last thing, Aether doesn't speak in ig...full sentences. He skips words sometimes and breaks up the sentence. I don't think he's fluent in Teyvat's language, hence why Paimon speaks so much.

The 4 entered the SereniteaPot after a long and arduous day of commissions, quests, errands, etc. and removed most of their unnecessary accessories.

Heizou swiftly made his way over to the nearest couch and flopped down face-first, probably almost asleep already. “Im not the only one who’s completely dead after all of those cases, right?” Heizou’s muffled voice echoed from the pillows on the couch. Albedo smirked at Heizou’s display of exhaustion.

“Guess it’s time to sleep then already? We did eat while we were out, so I suppose we can go right to bed. It is late.” Kazuha turns and questions, hanging his haori(correct me pls if that’s the wrong thing) up near the door. He places his shoulder guard down on a shelf nearby as well, besides the numerous trinkets Aether has collected on his travels.

“I’m not completely drained but…I suppose we can. Aether, you’ll be resting tonight, right?” Albedo turns to Aether, who was about to walk right back out of the teapots mansion and probably train outside the whole night. Albedo shoots Aether a disappointed look, expecting him to turn back around immediately and follow them back in, but Aether continues to slowly leave the doorway.

“Aether.”

Aether gives Albedo a glance back, almost pleading to not have to ‘sleep’. Albedo knows full and well that Aether doesn’t really sleep, but has still yet to know exactly why. Either way, seeing him at least lay down for the night would be enough.

“…You know I won’t sleep. No point in laying down.” Aether tries to reason his way out of this, preferring to do something a bit more productive.

“Get back here, and come lay down. We’ll even push the couches together like have you have it set up in your room, if that makes you more comfortable.” Albedo nods towards Kazuha after this, and Kazuha goes to start moving the couch Heizou is on and another couch in the open living room.

Aether sighs, deciding not to fight this one, and comes back into the mansion. He leaves his shoes at the door where everyone else’s shoes are, and then comes to help Albedo move blankets and pillows in from Aether's room.

"Where would you even be this late in the teapot? I know you have a small forest somewhere on the islands here, but would you really just train there all night?" Albedo inquires, genuinely confused on where Aether would even go this late since the teapot matches Teyvat's time. Aether looks around, putting a few pillows under his arm and rubbing the back of his neck.

He shrugs. "Dunno...maybe find Wanderer. Train with him? Talk with him. He doesn't sleep either." Aether's taken out the braid he usually wears now, his earing, scarf and whatever else being set at the table in his room. Albedo shakes his head in sighs. Guess he has to talk to this 'Wanderer', who he has still yet to meet despite Aether mentioning him before, and get him to rest as well. They both return to the living room soon after this exchange.

Once everything is moved, the four change into clothing that’s a bit more comfortable, and slowly begin to lay down one by one. Aether grabs a few books, of course. If he’s going to lay here for hours while the others sleep, he has to be doing SOMETHING. Not lay there contemplating his existence.

There’s idle banter for a good thirty minutes or so, chatting about what they’ll do tomorrow, what they’d want for breakfast, anything really. Heizou’s the first to fall asleep, after he curls himself around Aether in an inescapable death grip to insure he won’t be able to leave in the middle of the night without waking anyone else. Kazuha falls asleep next in the middle of his speech, causing Albedo and Aether to chuckle and joke about it for a few minutes after. Albedo then falls asleep last, after wishing Aether a goodnight and almost saying ‘Sleep well’ despite knowing he won’t sleep at all.

Aether opens one of the many books he’s read before, in similar situations of the others forcing him to at least lay down with them. He won’t sleep, but it’s nice to have the comfort of people he trusts being beside him in a moment of repose such as this. They can’t hear Aether but he speaks anyways.

“Goodnight, sweet dreams.”

[docgold13]

Can consistent sleep deprivation cause irreversible damage to the brain? Ever since January I've slipped into what has to be the worst and unhealthiest sleep pattern in my life yet, and the most I've managed to sleep in a night was like 4 hours (I couldn't even fall back asleep afterwards), more often than not less or even none, not to mention that I tend to stay up at night. I fall asleep in the late afternoon and evening and sleep up to 4 hours then. I'm not even 25 yet, so my brain is still developing... I don't use or abuse any substances.

Hey

As someone who has also struggled with sleep difficulties, I can relate.  

There’s good news and bad news.  The bad news is that sleep deprivation very much does impact the brain and neurological functioning.  Indeed one of the central processes culminated sleep deprivation can impact is the reward center; those features in the brain that effectively release nice bursts of dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine in reaction to accomplishing some form of goal.  In short, if you don’t get enough sleep, things that are normally enjoyable become no longer fun and things that are arduous feel even more so.  Not getting enough sleep sucks!

Elongated sleep deprivation begins to then effect global cognitive functioning, slowing down reaction times, complex thinking even basic reasoning.  And severe sleep deprivation can bring about delusions, hallucination and paranoid ideation.  

Pervasive sleep deprivation can permanently negatively impact the brain... but that takes years.

The good news is that the brain is a highly plastic organ that quickly recovers from the types of harm poor sleep inflicts.  At your age, your brain is still extremely malleable and resilient to harm.  Although you are suffering now, there is no need to fear that you are looking at long term impairment.  

That said, this certainly sounds like matter you want to address as quickly as possible.  There are three major avenues for dealing with situation:

The first is schedule.  I’ve come to accept that I have a terrible time going to sleep.  Fortunately I work for myself and have control over my own schedule.  Hence I almost never see patients in the morning.  I start work in the afternoon and work well into the evening.  In short, I’ve accommodated my schedule around my own circadian rhythms and make sure I can get at least five to seven hours a night even if it means sleeping in till the late morning.  It is still a struggle, but I think I’ve worked around avoiding the more deleterious aspects of my sleep struggles.

Granted, not everyone has the privilege of making their own schedule. 

The second step is improved sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene basically means trying to go to bed at the same time every night.  Restricting stimulating engagement prior to bed (no video games, no tic tock, none of that stuff for at least an hour before bedtime). Sleep in a dark room, with the tv off and as little noise as possible (even if it means using ear plugs and/or a sleep mask).  It takes work, but following these parameters definitely helps.  Granted I’m fully aware of just how difficult it can be to practice good sleep hygiene… I must admit that I’m often not particularly good at it.

The third step (if needed) is the use of sleep aides. At risk of sounding like a pitch man for Ambian, that stuff has been a godsend for me.  I take a generic version of ambian and I love it.  I don’t even need to take it every night.  Just having the bottle in the drawer of my bedside table is enough to take the pressure off of needing to be able to fall asleep.  When I do use it, I’ll take it in order to get myself back into a rhythm of getting enough sleep… meaning I’ll take it three nights in a row and then can usually go a week or two before I’ll need it again.  

Over the counter sleep aides can also be helpful.  Z-Quill, Melatonin, and the like are all safe.  I haven’t tried the stuff utilizing CBD but maybe that stuff is good too.    I understand that some may be averse to using sleep aides… worried about the health risks and whatnot.  I understand, but whatever health risks that may be entailed in the use of these medicines pale significantly compared to elongated poor sleep.  

Hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon.   

[umichenginabroad]

Week 3: Budeš můj valentýn, Praha?

Nazdar všichni!!

Hey everyone, welcome back to the blog! I spent this week developing more of a routine and getting enough rest. Whether it’s prioritizing 8 hours of sleep every night, reading before bed, going on daily walks/runs, or simply not drinking 3 cups of coffee a day, I wanted to make some changes in my daily routine. 

Got plans tn?

The 3-week mark here in Prague is giving the post-welcome week vibes when classes actually start catching up to you and everyone around you has some sort of mystery illness after going out too much and not sleeping enough. Nonetheless, we push through. The nightlife routine is becoming a bit more established:

Wild going out nights: Wednesday/Thursday (depending on the week, could be both), Saturday

Clubs - Duplex, Epic

Pregame/bars: Dog Bar, U Sudu

Chill going out nights: Tuesday, Friday

Irish Pubs (to watch sports or live music), karaoke bars, wine bars, theater/ballet/symphony

Casual nights: Monday, Sunday 

Time for homework, cooking, trip planning, laundry, housekeeping, etc. 

As someone who prefers not to drink as often as multiple nights a week, I tend to go out sober (or pretty close to it) most nights we go to bars or clubs. The nightlife here is by no means shaped by heavy alcohol consumption; there’s entertainment everywhere, like live music, arcade games, and cool scenery in the bars which make it easy to have a great night while sober.

Superbowl… or not

Lots of people in my program hit different Irish pubs for the game, including Rocky’s and The Dubliner (my personal favorite, usually has live music too). After getting back from Vienna late Sunday night, we had the choice of either heading straight for the bar or stopping home. Unfortunately, after stopping home and getting ready to push the bars for the game, I fell asleep. Tragic, I know. I was super sad about missing the game (I couldn’t have cared less) and I hope everyone’s bets hit (I hope all the Swifties cashed out on the Chiefs).

*knock knock* Housekeeping!

We have a housekeeping service that comes once a week to perform a deeper cleaning of the kitchen and bathrooms. This day for the Slezská apartments is Thursday, but I’m unsure about Sokolská. They don’t come into our rooms, but will (supposedly) change your sheets if you leave the dirty ones outside your door. We have yet to try this service out though, and have resolved to washing our sheets on our own time.

As roommates, our other housekeeping responsibilities include:

Providing cleaning supplies

Upholding consistent cleanliness

Common spaces (bathrooms, kitchen, hallways)

Our rooms, personal belongings

Laundry

Dishwashing

Emptying trash/recycling

Our apartment doesn’t have a chore chart or any rigid routine that would hold everyone accountable for general housekeeping. Rather, we take turns doing chores at times of convenience, and stick to a general guideline of leaving any room cleaner than you found it. So, when someone washes the dishes and leaves them out to dry, another roommate will put them away. And a different roommate will take the trash out when they leave for class. I tend to trick myself into housekeeping by washing/putting away dishes while I’m bored and waiting for my food to cook!

I have talked to some other apartments that have experienced an uneven split of housekeeping responsibilities to the point of frustration. They found that the best way to address this situation is to have an open discussion with everyone in the apartment, and if it becomes necessary, to delegate weekly tasks. Hopefully this isn't the case for many apartments.

Eras of European Architectural Style

This week in my architecture class we learned about the significant periods that define European style and architecture. Chronologically, they are the Romanesque (10th-12th C.), Gothic (13th-15th C.), Renaissance (16th-17th C.), Baroque (17th-19th C.), Modern (19th-20th C.), and Post-Modern (the current period). This class focused on the Romanesque period.

We learned that the hilliness of Prague holds significance in its establishment as a strategic urban center in early Bohemia. On our tour, we visited Vyšehrad (which means ‘high castle’ in English). This site was the birthplace of Prague, originally established during the 10th century, and has served as a royal castle and a military fortress. On this site we found two churches: 

Rotunda of St. Martin: Romanesque, built in the 11th century, characterized by its circular shape and dome covering

Basilica of St. Peter and St. Paul: originally Romanesque, built in the second half of the 11th century. Rebuilt many times in its history, its current neo-Gothic appearance dates back to the 19th century, characterized by pointy spires and broad arches.

We also saw a statue of St. Wenceslas atop the hill. He was the first patron saint of the Czech state, considered to be the father of their nation who introduced Romanesque culture to the region.

Speeeeed run: travel within the EU

Being so accustomed to domestic travel in the United States, I had no idea what to expect when casually flying between countries in Europe. Fortunately, when traveling within the EU, the process is similar to domestic travel in America, and made extremely easy. You scan your boarding pass to enter security for screening. At security, you take out any laptops/large electronics and liquids (<100ml in clear plastic bags), and send the rest of your belongings through normally. You do not have to take your shoes off. During boarding, they check your passport/ID along with your boarding pass and then you’re set to head to the plane! Security typically takes <30 minutes to complete, but boarding the actual plane can take nearly an hour of waiting in line...

Finally, I suggest keeping a spreadsheet containing: flight reservation numbers, airline baggage allowances, flight check-in policies, etc. Mine has been useful and I know exactly what to expect upon arriving at the airport. Also, check-in to your flight as early as possible, especially when flying airlines like EasyJet or Transavia that assign seats upon check-in. Do add the boarding pass to your apple wallet for a super streamlined experience.

Girl Math: Credit Cards

The smartest thing I did before going abroad was apply for a new credit card; particularly one with travel rewards, a high credit limit, and no foreign transaction fees. Not only do I have added security benefits, like protection against fraudulent purchases, but it also builds credit with every purchase I make abroad with no additional fees! I knew I'd be spending a decent amount of money while abroad, but at least I’m getting points for it. Girl math!

In all seriousness, having all my transactions concentrated on one card has made it very easy to authenticate all my purchases and transfer them to my budget spreadsheet. Adulting is hard, but using the built-in tools provided by my bank to set up automatic statement payments, transfer funds, and manage my rewards has been easy.

Paris

This past weekend was well spent in the enchanting Paris. Between the iconic landmarks and quaint cafés, the city was remarkably rich in culture and romance, especially over Valentine’s Day weekend :)

We started off Friday with brunch and a nice walk through the Luxembourg Gardens, which overlook the Luxembourg Palace. The next stop was my favorite: Napoleon's Tomb, a majestic tribute to the man who conquered nearly all of Europe. A truly incredible piece of art and architecture, designed by Napoleon himself! Next, we ventured into the Musée de l'Armée within Les Invalides and learned about the history of French warfare and artillery. After a nice dinner (and my first ever French onion soup!), we coincidentally ran into my two friends celebrating Valentine’s Day in the city! #whenwillitbemyturn... After an epic round of catching up over drinks, we headed back to the AirBnB to rest up for the rest of the weekend.

We spent Saturday indulging in shopping and iconic French delicacies. Our first stop (post-brunch of course) was the renowned Louis Vuitton store, with a full exhibit and many elegancies. Unfortunately, I could not afford even a glass of tap water in the store, but it was surely fun to browse. Afterwards, we sampled French staples like crépes, French onion soup, and lots of freshly baked baguettes. Walking back towards the Eiffel Tower, we strolled along the Seine and the bridges that span it, ending the day at the Eiffel Tower as the sun set. We came back after dark too, to see the tower illuminated in the night. A beautiful sight to see.

On Sunday, we decided to uncover Paris's hidden gems near Gare du Nord, beginning with the Passage des Jouffroy and its neighboring passageways. These so-called arcades are covered passageways adorned with vintage shops and quaint cafes. We then walked to Sacré-Cœur, or the Church of the Sacred Heart, which was a site recommended to us by nearly all of our uber drivers. There we could see an amazing panoramic view of the city below. Finally, as the day drew to a close, we bid farewell to Paris from Gare du Nord. 

A huge highlight of the trip was the French food, particularly the crepes, fresh baguettes, and the array of decadent pastries at every corner. See some of my favorite eats below!

Kind Strangers

The title of this section is exactly its content: shoutout to all the kind strangers who helped me this week! I’d heard many stories about the French, Parisians in particular, being cold and unfriendly to American foreigners, but I couldn’t help but feel quite the opposite vibe. First off, we have my Uber driver Amine, who brought me from Paris Orly to my AirBnB at midnight on Thursday. He spoke almost no English but took the time to get to know me, share a bit of his story, and teach me essential French phrases like “ça va” (meaning it’s okay/I’m okay; pronounced sah vah) and “s’il vous plait” (meaning please; pronounced seel voo play). I don’t speak French at all, but the full list of phrases he taught me were game changers when it came to interacting with local Parisians. He also stayed with me when I struggled getting into the apartment and gave me his contact in case of an emergency. 

Upon leaving Paris, I also experienced a great act of kindness by two women in Gare du Nord, the main train station in Paris. One woman, who was clearly in a rush, noticed me struggling to scan the ticket I had just purchased at a nearby kiosk. Despite not speaking English, she scanned her own pass and motioned for me to step through the security with her. When it closed and neither of us were able to get through, a nearby mom helped us both get through the automated security at the gate with her two children. Both women ran off before I could properly thank them, but I am extremely grateful for their help in a situation that I probably would have struggled to navigate on my own. 

Now for some ins and outs!

Ins:

Bachelor Wednesdays: I’ve never truly gotten into shows like the Bachelor, but after my friends and I dedicated Wednesday pregames to watching it. I see the hype now... extremely entertaining, especially when paired with wine.

Galentines <3: We celebrated Valentine’s Day with all the girls in the program Tuesday, featuring an amazing charcuterie assortment, wine, and lots of chit-chat and games!

Duplex Student Night: Duplex is one of the main clubs we go to. It’s a good atmosphere with a dj and an open air rooftop open for smoking. On Wednesdays students get in with no cover, so it’s always our final destination! Just make sure to bring your actual ID, as they do not take photocopies.

Outs:

Heels x Cobblestone: Cobblestone covers every single walking surface in Old Town and neighboring districts. It adds this beautiful aesthetic to the city, but it is miserable and honestly dangerous to walk on in heels. Do so at your own risk.

My Uber bill (from Paris): Paris is an extremely vast city, and it can take nearly an hour to walk from one side of the city to the other. Because it was so rainy, and the friends I traveled with refused to try out the public transportation system in Paris, our Uber bill racked up reallllll high. 

Public bathrooms: If you’re walking down the street in Europe and suddenly have to go to the bathroom, I wish you the best of luck. Unless there’s a Mc Donald’s nearby, you’ll either have to make a purchase at the nearest café and hope they have a bathroom, or you have to hold it. Even if you manage to stumble upon a WC, chances are you will have to pay a small fee to use it.

Thanks for reading, catch you all next week!

Čau všichni,

Reese Liebman

Computer Science and Engineering

Institute for Study Abroad (IFSA) CS Tech Career Accelerator in Prague, Czechia

[keefwho]

April 04 - 2023

8:50 AM

Its hard to accept but I want to focus on myself more. I’ve caught myself giving too much and I’m aware its not good to drain myself consistently when I’m not getting much back. I haven’t reached a bad point yet and thats good that I can catch it early on. Sometimes I don’t understand why I should be focusing on myself, like I don’t feel like there is a reason. Obviously I know I need to take care of my own needs but I always thing if I was the last person on earth, then what would it matter? I guess the logic is that since I’m not the last person on earth, I can at least take care of myself for the sake of others. I have to keep myself in decent shape in order to keep giving in a way that is sustainable. 

7:29 PM

Sometimes I don’t know what to feel or I don’t wanna feel at all so I end up wanting to be degenerate and just cum because it’s something easy to get invested in. I don’t think that’s a problem but I have trouble finding a good outlet even for that sometimes.

10:27 PM

I still just... don’t know who I am or what I’m doing sometimes. I’ve also been able to label myself as having an inferiority complex so it’s good I could identify that. I have a lot of fear because of it. I fear that I may be too inferior to keep my friends. I’m often silently putting myself down, assuming I am not worth love or adoration. I want to much to experience feeling loved. I almost can sometimes but most of the time my own feelings about myself stop it from happening. I kinda wanna talk about it with someone, it might help a lot to get some communication about it. Actually hearing what people think of me in plain terms helps sometimes because otherwise I’m trying to infer how people feel and I always assume the worst. I want to be told straight up sometimes. 

Instead of festering on feelings, I could express them through art. I’ve been bad about that lately. I tend to be a crybaby about things and I wait for people to notice. Then if they don’t, I become a bigger crybaby. Either that or I only wait for the perfect circumstances to express my feelings. Im basically blueballing myself all the time. I need to get things out and I know that. It’s always going to be perfect but it has to happen anyways. 

Or sometimes I need a break from feeling and thinking in general which is something I don’t do enough. No more thinking tonight, Im just going to watch this Minecraft speedrun and relax. Maybe cry if feel like it.

11:03 PM

Nevermind, I’m ranting. I feel alone, even though I know I’m not. And when I feel alone I don’t see the point in anything. If no one is around to experience life with, I don’t want to live. The thing is I know I have people. They are THERE and sometimes I have a hard time connecting to them because of ME. Because for SOME reason, I think of myself as worthless. How can I even be so counterintuitive of a lifeform? If I really don’t think of myself as anything then why do I keep trying anything? Why don’t I abandon my sleep schedule, work schedule, and rot away in my bed? I guess because I get glimpses of what I want to live for. Because at least sometimes I feel good about myself and confident in my relationships. 

And I have to announce this to myself (if I haven’t already). I want a partner. That’s okay. I always worry that I’m trying to use the idea of a partner as a bandaid to my problems. But I am too aware of that for that to be the case. I want someone to share loyalty with. I want to be on someone’s mind at all times, and the person they run to when they need help. It’s not out of reach, I deserve that. Nothing is inherently stopping me from being allowed to have this kind of dynamic. My whole life I would cast the idea aside because I thought of myself as the nerd character that never ever gets the girl. But I am no character, I’m a human like 8 billion others on this planet. I can love. And I want love. 

11:33 PM

Im such a FOOL. Of course I’m cared for. IDIOT. I feel REALLY stupid. I always get sucked into these negative thought patterns and forget the truth. God I can be dumb sometimes. 

I have to prioritize myself so I can achieve the things I desire. They all require a sound mental foundation. Otherwise I know the things I seek will only serve to bandaid my issues. Maybe the first step to countering my inferiority complex is to accept that I am at least worthy of my own care. 

[incendiobrock]

Pranked You ;) {Colby Brock}

Request: Hello sweetie! I was wondering if you could do a story where the reader and Colby aren't dating YET but there is yah know, chemistry and tension. But one day sam decided to pull a prank on Colby and it involved EVERYONE. So basically he makes it seem like he woke up in a different world or something where stuff is different. For example: him and reader are dating (you can choose whatever other stuff happens, lol) but once Colby figures out the prank, he pulls reader aside. They have a small argument before reader blows off on him, in which he says "I've never wanted to kiss you as badly as I do know" and that's how they admit their feelings! Thank you! And can't wait to see what you write love

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for your request, sorry for the wait, I have been very busy with school and work. I hope the wait is worth it though! Get ready for a long imagine, I’m pretty sure this is about 3,000 words. I hope you love it! I just realized that I tried to keep this imagine gender neutral but I forgot that I accidentally put some she/her pronouns in it, I’m so sorry!

Warnings: Angsty, Cussing, Mentions of alcohol, implied smut

------------------------------------------------------------

It was just like any other day for you. You woke up around noon because you were exhausted from the day before. Between working, going to college, and trying to keep somewhat of a social life, everyone could see just how worn out you would get day to day. So today you decided to treat yourself with a few extra hours of this beautiful thing called sleep.

Your phone rest on the bedside table and of course checking it and replying to the unread messages was the first step of your morning routine. The first messages you saw were from the group chat that consisted of you, Kat, and Tara. Apparently, while you were sleeping, Tara and Kat had a whole conversation about a girl’s day that they wanted to plan for you three. The last text sent was from Kat and it read, “I can’t wait for y/n to see all these messages in the morning. We planned the best girl’s day while she was probably passed the fuck out in her bed lmao”.

You smiled sending them a text back alerting them that you are indeed alive and down for all the plans they had created. In fact, you would be seeing them later at Sam and Colby’s place for a couple’s dinner/pool/movie date night. Jake would be there as well, and although you were tragically single, you loved all of them to death and hanging out over there was like the most elite sleepovers you would have with your best friends as a child.

A new text appeared on your screen just as you began to emerge from the comfort of your bed sheets, “God finally you’re awake. I’ve been waiting for Kat to tell me you answered her message all morning. I need your help tonight with a prank. Colby is never going to see it coming”

“A prank? I thought you guys didn’t do that anymore...? But I’m in ;)” You sent back. Out of all the trap girls and all the boys, Colby and you got along the best. Ever since you first met, which was years ago at this point, Colby and you have been inseparable. You tried so hard to avoid your feelings for him, in hopes to not develop a crush that ended up ruining your friendship, but Kat picked up on it right away. She told you constantly that she could easily set you up with the beautiful blue-eyed boy, but you insisted that things would happen naturally if there was truly something there between the two of you. And so, you went on, day by day, falling helplessly in love with the sweetest boy you have ever come to know.

Sam sent a message telling you to head over to their place as soon as possible. You swore that you basically lived there already. You were at their house way more than you were at your own. You couldn’t imagine living further than 15 minutes from them. After what felt like a century to Sam, you arrived at the house. Your hand loudly knocking on the big wooden door.

“Hey y/n! How are you?” Kat asked, pulling you into a big hug as she opened the door. You smiled and hugged back at her kind gesture, “I’m good! How are you? Do you know anything about this prank on you know who?” You questioned her. She glared at you, silently telling you to lower your volume. “Y/n! Colby is right upstairs be quiet!” She whispers, laughing at you almost blowing their cover immediately upon arrival.

Kat was quick to take you by the arm and drag you to the theater room where Sam was already sitting on one of the opulent red couches. He greeted you, telling you that he wanted to film your reaction to him telling you what prank you were going to pull. You agreed and sat down on the sofa facing the blonde. “Colby’s taking a nap right now upstairs because he was up super late last night editing one of our Sam and Colby videos. I figured we could use his exhaustion to our advantage and try and prank him that he woke up in some sort of alternate universe. I figured you could go into his room and set up a couple cameras, and I’ll keep two hidden in the living room where me, Kat, Jake, and Tara will be, so we hopefully get his full reaction. I want you to sneak into his bed and like cuddle him or something and when he wakes up, I want you to pretend that you’ve been dating him for a long time now. He is going to be super confused but just try and convince him that it’s true. If he ends up downstairs, we will go along with it too. I really want to see if he will think that it’s real after a while.” Sam explained.

You felt your face burning as your cheeks became a deep shade of red. He couldn’t be serious right? He wanted you to pretend that you were dating Colby? “I- Uh… I don’t know Sam won’t that be a really mean prank?” You tried to play it off, hoping that you didn’t just annihilate all your efforts to keep your feelings hidden. “You guys are like best friends, I don’t think he could be mad at you for such an innocent prank.” Sam replied. You began to feel incredibly flustered at the thought of having to be so affectionate with Colby. The room started to feel like a sauna as the sweat began accumulating all over your body.

Sure, you and Colby had cuddled before, but it was extremely platonic… Plus, it only happened in very specific moments, like last Wednesday after you had a couple of drinks, and everyone was sat watching a movie where he wrapped his arm around you so you could rest your head since it could barely hold itself up. You snapped out of your thoughts quickly realizing that Sam had been waiting on a response from you. You knew Sam was stubborn, he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Your eyes met back with his and the only thing you could get yourself to do was slightly nod your head ‘yes’.

“Perfect.” Sam smirked, getting up to turn off the camera and hand it to you so you could set it up in Colby’s room. You already knew that he was thinking about how many points this would score him for a Sam and Colby prank war if it turns out the way he is wanting.

Before you knew it you had made it all the way up into Colby’s room where you had strategically hidden the camera, facing it towards the sleeping boy in his bed. You let out a deep sigh, trying to prepare yourself for what was about to go down. “If this ruins everything for me, I am going to kill you Golbach.” You whispered, knowing the deep sleeper wouldn’t hear a single thing. And so, the prank began.

You took a gentle hold of the silky black sheets and quietly slipped into bed right next to Colby. There was no game plan in your mind, you didn’t even think up a storyline about your fake relationship for once he woke up. You squeezed your eyes shut in fear as you quickly wrapped your body around his, resting your head under his chin as he slept on his back. He twitched slightly, bringing his arm up, lazily holding you back. The breath caught in your throat, this was already hard enough for you and now he is cuddling you back? You glanced up to see his face, his eyelashes were slightly fluttering, and his soft lips had a slight part in them. He was still fast asleep. You decided to try and wake him up by moving around in his arm slightly, hoping the movement would pull him out of his dreams.

“Y/n?” His voice rung through the room, deep and raspy. He sat up slightly, glancing around the dark lair that he called a bedroom, but his arm still remained around your frame. “W-what are you doing here?” He stuttered, visibly confused by the sight of you in his arms.

“What? I can’t cuddle my boyfriend?” You answered, shocked that you could even get those words to come out of your mouth. His eyes widened at your response, pure shock etched into his face. “Boyfriend?” You felt his heart start to race as he replied.

His arm dropped from your body as he delicately pushed himself out of bed. He was now hovering over you as he stood by the bedside table. There was a clear glass with some water sitting on a coaster on the table. His strong hand wrapped around it as he brought it up to his mouth, downing the rest of the water that was in it. You could tell by his body language that he was beyond confused. The glass clinked as he practically dropped it back onto the nightstand.

“Am I dreaming or something? Since when was I your boyfriend?” His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to look at you for some answers. Your heart sunk thinking about how mean of a prank this truly was, at least from your point of view. “Baby… Are you serious? We’ve been together for years now, are you feeling okay?” You said as you threw your legs over the side of the bed, pulling his hand into your own.

Your thumb gently rubbed circles onto the back of his hand, but only for a couple seconds before he pulled it away. “Is this a fucking prank or something?” He asked, irritation evident from his tone. You shook your head ‘no’, it was becoming hard to process words. You knew this was upsetting him, but Sam had you promise to make the prank last for as long as you could.

“I’m sorry- I have to get out of here really quick.” Colby said, making his way out the bedroom door. You said nothing back, hoping that Sam would end the prank for you as Colby made his way down the stairs.

“Hey brother! You’re finally up. Where’s y/n? I thought we were all doing a couples movie night?” Jake interrogated as Colby glanced to see Sam, Kat, and Tara standing over in the kitchen. Colby brought his hand up to his face rubbing his eyes, there’s no way that Jake is saying this too. Colby began to think that he was seriously going crazy. And then everyone else joined in on the conversation. You could hear them loudly as you stayed glued to Colby’s bed.

Sam began to ask if Colby was feeling alright, and you heard Kat say that maybe we should take Colby to the hospital in case he was losing his memory. You felt the panic in Colby rise as he was deflecting everyone’s concern insisting that he wasn’t losing his memory, and that he definitely wasn’t going crazy. He knew for a fact that you two weren’t dating, and none of them could convince him otherwise. “Dude, she’s gonna hear you up there. You’re going to break her heart. You really don’t remember?” Sam pushed.

You finally had enough. You raced out of Colby’s room and rushed down the stairs. You stopped immediately upon entering the kitchen, seeing everybody else still standing there surrounding Colby. The energy switched as they all looked to you, Sam pleading with his eyes for you to keep going. “I’m so sorry Colby, it was just a prank, please don’t be upset.” You couldn’t handle it any longer, the pain on his face was too much for you to bear. You watched as he scoffed back, “I knew it. Fuck you, guys. I’m going back upstairs.”

You felt horrible as you watched him stomp back up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Tears stung the back of your eyes, this was all your fault. You excused yourself from the group and somberly made it to Colby’s door. You preceded to place a faint knock on the wood, “Colby? I’m so sorry, can you please open up?” Your voice was so soft, it would’ve been hard for him to hear if he hadn’t already anticipated your arrival. The door swung open as Colby quickly made his way back over to where he previously sat on the couch.

You stayed frozen at the door for a couple seconds, hoping to brace yourself for the angry boy inside. You took hold of the cold metal doorknob, pulling the door shut behind you. You tip-toed your way over to the sofa and took a seat far from Colby. Your mind was running a hundred miles an hour as you tried to concoct a coherent sentence. “What the hell were you thinking? Did you seriously think that I would find this funny?” He spat in your direction.

“It wasn’t my prank, Sam just wanted me to help him out.” You said back, desperately trying to reason with him. He sarcastically laughed, running a hand through his dark hair. “I didn’t ask who’s prank it was y/n.”

You gulped, it felt suffocating in his room. The dark ambiance that normally felt inviting suddenly seemed like your own personal hell. “Colby, I didn’t want to hurt you I swear. I was trying my best to keep everything lighthearted. I could never hurt you.” Your voice was so delicate, it was so hard to speak. The tears were still threating to make an appearance, and that was the last thing you wanted.

“But you did, y/n. That’s the thing. Whether or not you ‘meant’ to hurt me, you did. And everyone else was in on it to. Did you even try and tell Sam that this prank wasn’t a good idea? Did you even think, for a split second, that this was incredibly immature? You were all treating me like I was losing my damn mind, trying to convince me that we were dating when we clearly never were.”

His words hurt, but they were all true. You had never been together, what were you thinking pretending like you were? All to satisfy Sam? To help him get a head start on the prank wars by completely crushing Colby’s heart? He is your best friend for crying out loud. “Look Colby. I never wanted to do this, okay? Did you ever stop and think that maybe I didn’t want to be doing this either? You mean everything to me. Why would I ever purposely hurt you? Especially after everything we have been through. All the ups and downs, the messy breakups, all the fights. I love you so god damn much and I hope you know that I would never, ever, hurt you like that.” By this point the tears were streaming down your face. Your previous spot on the couch was long discarded as you now stood right in front of Colby, praying that he knew you were being serious about not hurting him.

Your eyes searched his for any glimpse of a sign showing that he believed you. His bright blue eyes looked a lot more intimidating than usual. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his expression not giving you any clues. Finally, he responded, “Is it wrong that I’ve never wanted to kiss you as badly as I do right now?”

And finally, there was your sign. His eyes no longer looked intimidating. In fact, they had completely changed into something much different, lust. You quickly took a step closer to him as he took a stand right in front of you, placing his strong hands on either side of your face. He roughly pulled you in, causing your lips to crash together with loads of passion. They fit perfectly together, better than you ever imagined them. They worked in sync as the feeling inside of you was igniting a fire. He was so rough, but surprisingly still gentle. Acting as if one wrong move would completely break you. Your lips remained locked as he pushed you backwards, surprising you as your back made contact with his plush bed. He was on top of you, hungrily continuing the kiss.

You both pulled apart abruptly, gasping for air after your heavy make out session. “I guess now’s a good time to let you know that I am absolutely, one hundred percent, in love with you.” You stated, starring deep into his eyes. “Then I guess now’s a good time to tell you that I feel the same.” He responded, bringing you back in for another passionate kiss. You pulled back again, “So, does this mean I can finally see those handcuffs I keep hearing about in action?” You asked him, slightly laughing. “Only if you promise to keep quiet.” He winked back. And that was the start of your amazing, long awaited relationship.

[hirokari]

grocery shopping with hyuck!

It’s 11 in the morning, which should be enough sunlight to wake anyone up… unless you’re a sleep deprived student clad in just a hoodie and sweatpants, tagging along grocery shopping so your partner doesn’t buy anything they don’t need.

Donghyuck yawns, prepping his chin on your head and pulling his hood further down his head.

“You okay? You can, um, stand in the corner if you’re tired.” You suggest, looking up at him after checking the calorie count on the side of a cereal box. Your boyfriend hums, taking the cart handle.

“I’ll stay.”

Just two simple words and you were suppressing a grin, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

The next half hour consists of you asking Donghyuck if products were healthy or worth it, and him responding with either a nod or a mumble, eyes remaining half-lidded.

Many looked at you two– well, at Donghyuck, for the most part– and dismissed you as two unprepared kids buying candy or whatever to live off of. But Hyuck was quite the foodie himself.

A great taste tester, and an even better cook. He made exquisite meals with just everyday ingredients, never ceasing to surprise you with fancy dinners in front of the tv or an occasional brunch if he’s up early enough.

“Question: why did we have to go out so early?” Whispers Donghyuck, taking the milk cartons from your hands and into the cart. “Because I don’t like shopping for food too late, it makes me feel un-fresh… ish… and I want lunch.”

“But we can go get something from, i don't know, McDonal-”

“But I like your food more.”

Donghyuck stays silent at your playful quip, pursing his lips almost unconsciously as he pushes the cart with his hand over yours on the cart handle. You couldn’t help but laugh a little, patting his arm with your free hand.

You always had a way with Donghyuck, it’s exactly how he fell in love with you. No matter how difficult he’d be, you always slithered your way past defense.

“Is this all?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.”

The moment you arrive back at the apartment, Donghyuck wastes no time in heading to the couch, crashing face-first into the cushions. You sigh at his childish antics.

At least he set the groceries in the kitchen.

You shimmy your coat off, sighing in content at the warmth of home, a contrast to the autumn winds outside.

You start with the vegetables, spending quite some time with the fridge open for a little too long, assorting the foods to their respective places in the fridge.

It’s until you’re on the tip of your toes, frowning at the fact that you can’t reach the damned cupboard when Hyuck decides he should get up and help, taking the box from your grasp and settling it on the cupboard.

In all honesty, it took him to stand on his toes too, but nonetheless you’re still thankful.

"Thanks.” You say.

You’re about to turn and take the last of the groceries to where they belong, but an arm wraps around your torso pulling you back.

“No,” Donghyuck whines. You blink. “No?”

“No.”

“No,” You repeat with a smile in your tone. “Come to bed with me.” Donghyuck demands, already inching out the kitchen.

“But the food-”

“The food can wait,” He whines again.

You frown a little, eyeing the untouched bag of groceries yet to be stored away. "...okay. If you're that desperate." You give in with a laugh.

"Just let me put those in-"

"God, just let me sleep with you!"

"Okay, okay."

networks: @neoturtles

jaemjenjam, 2021

[ks-dreams-fantasies]

Hii can i request a Vinnie x reader where the reader live at the hype house and shes a big tiktoker too and the reader is just soft and she spend alot time at Vinnie's room bc they're secretly dating but no one knew abt it just they're family and thomas and alex and the others kinda knew abt it bc the reader and Vinnie is kinda spending time together a lot and one day Vinnie got a cold and that same day thomas is filming a video and the reader is cutting apples(or any fruit ) for Vinnie and thomas started filming her and ask her if thats for vinnie the fruits that the reader are cutting bc they knew vinnie is sick and the reader said "no, its for me" why a little laugh at the end and she didn't know that thomas is filming her going to vinnie's room and suddenly thoms burst in to Vinnie's room and filming them and see the reader is taking care of Vinnie...you can do whatever you want at the endd just vinnie soft and cuddly thank youuu! <333

Taking care of our boy? - Vinnie Hacker

Hey love 😘 Thank you so much for your request, I hope my story did it justice … I made a few changes, but the idea is still there 🙄 I feel like Vinnie would be such a baby when he’s sick 😆 Enjoy

Warning : None

Word Count : 1.2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vinnie hated being sick. He had been feeling off the past couple of days and when he woke up congested, his throat burning, he groaned, rolling onto his side seeing you laying peacefully next to him. You had fallen asleep the night before, after going to Vinnie’s room to watch anime with him. You, being a newly big TikToker, had moved into the Hype House a few months ago, hitting it off quickly with him. You always got teased for it, often getting shipped online with the fact that you guys seemed to be close to each other. People weren’t totally wrong since you and Vinnie had decided to start dating a few weeks ago, hiding it to the public due to the fact that it was still new and scared of the hate you would get if his fans found out.

Not a lot of people knew about your relationship, just your closest friends and of course the other members of the Hype House. Living with them, didn’t make it easy to keep you both a secret, but they respected your decision. You had thought about coming out since people kind of assumed you were together after seeing how close you both were in Thomas and Alex’s vlogs. The responses to their videos were mostly sweet and encouraging, so you often thought about it. You had both posted a few TikToks with each other over the past couple of months and you were seen leaving places together lately, hinting to the public that something was happening between you and Vinnie

He tried getting back to sleep, closing his eyes, coughing a few times before feeling you move beside him. You got closer to him wrapping one of your arms around his torso, opening your eyes as you felt the temperature of his body.

“Baby, you’re boiling hot” you gasped, lifting your upper body to look at him, putting your hand on his forehead. He groaned again before coughing making you sight

“I’ll run you a bath so you can relax, and I’ll go to the store to buy some medicine, okay baby?” you said getting up grabbing a hoodie out of Vinnie’s closet

“You don’t have to do that, I’ll be fin-“ he got interrupted by a fit of coughs

“Sure” you chuckled lightly “Wait here, the bath should be done in a few minutes” you said, disappearing into the bathroom connected to his room, turning on the faucet for the water to start running. You took a towel putting it near the bathtub, calling him in when it got filled up

“Ok, so I’ll run to the store really quick, I’ll be back in a few, try to relax” You said leaving a kiss on his temple, before leaving his room, going downstairs towards your car.

You got back home about 30 minutes later with a bag filled with medicine for Vinnie when you phone dinged indicating a new notification. You opened your phone, seeing that Vinnie had just posted a new Tiktok. You shook your head, laughing slightly, even when sick, he always found a way to make something for his fans. The video consisted of him getting his head out of the water, his hair now being wet. Vinnie being Vinnie, didn’t write much for the caption

Sick 🤧

The comments were already flooded with a bunch of messages from girls saying how much they would kill to come take care of him and how good looking he was. You put your phone in your back pocket as you entered the house, making your way to the kitchen seeing the others sitting at the counter, sipping on their coffee, laughing at something Michael had said.

“Look who decided to join us earlier than usual” Alex said pointing his camera towards you, as showed him your middle finger, sticking out your tongue

“Ouhhh grumpy, she probably didn’t have her coffee yet guys, excuse her” he said laughing, turning the camera back towards Calvin, who was trying to do god knows what. You went to the fridge, taking out some fruits to cut while you put the teakettle on the stove, waiting for the water to boil. You prepared everything while listening to their stories and laughing at them. You took out a tray, placing a plate of freshly cut berries with two mugs and some pills on the side to bring up to Vinnie.

“Two mugs? Perhaps the tea is for Vinnie? Taking care of our boy while he’s sick, I see” Alex stated, grinning softly as he turned the camera back towards you

“Vinnie’s sick? I didn’t know” you said shrugging your shoulders “I’m just really thirsty, that’s all” you continued as you picked up the tray, the others humming, knowing well enough you were lying.

“Anyways, see you later, I have some things to take care of” you said already halfway out of the kitchen making your way up the stairs

“I bet you guys a hundred bucks that the things she needs to take care of is Vinnie” Michael said, laughing as he shook his head.

Arriving to Vinnie’s bedroom you knock on the door hearing a faint “come in” before opening the door, seeing your boyfriend lying in bed, watching anime.

“Hey baby, I brought you berries and tea” you said walking up to him while he moved to sat down “Here take these” you handed him the medicine and his cup of tea while you move to sit beside him with the plate and your own cup of coffee.

“Thank you” he sipped on his tea, the hot liquid soothing the tickled in the back of his throat. You had both finished eating and drinking, putting the plates and mugs away on the nightstand when Vinnie started coughing again

“Poor baby” you said stroking his warm cheeks “Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” you asked him, worried

“Can we just stay here and cuddle?” he said looking into your eyes, pouting as you smiled at him

“Of course, Vin” you answered as he laid his head on your chest, your hands massaging his scalp slowing, making him let out a small groan of appreciation, enjoying the comfort. A few moments later, the sound of light snoring made you smile softly, indicating Vinnie had fallen back asleep. You knew he didn’t sleep much the night before, so you were happy that he could relax for a bit. You could hear some shuffling in the hallway and soon enough the door opened, Alex and Michael entering the room, fake gasping at the sight before their eyes.

“Well, well, well what do we have here?” Alex said, capturing every moment on his camera

“Shhh! Can’t you see he’s sleeping” you whispered-yelled trying to shush them up, wavering your hands for them to go away

“I guess I was right hun?” Michael said to the camera, a wide grin on his face.

“Mhhhhh” Vinnie groaned, squeezing your body tighter “Baby, tell them to go away” he mumbled groggily, still sleepy.

“AH I TOLD YOU SO! You guys owe me 100 bucks” Michael shouted as he pointed the lenses with his index finger, before Vinnie threw a pillow at him, exhausted

“I swear if you guys don’t get out –“ he got interrupted by the two guys laughing and exiting the room, closing the door behind him. You laughed lightly as he laid back down on your chest

“They are so annoying” he sighed “Thanks for taking care of me baby”

“Anytime Vin” you responded, smiling, leaving a kiss on his forehead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading

Hope you liked it, let me know what you think

-K

[butterflyyeo]

drunk in love

pairing - yeosang x fem reader

genre - fluff, angst (?)

tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing

wc - 10k

side ships - seongjoong, yungi

a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!

------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.

and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.

you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)

you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.

yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.

"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."

yunho frowned, "damn."

you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."

"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.

"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.

wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."

the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.

soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.

"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.

"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.

"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.

he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.

you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.

"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.

"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.

you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.

"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.

once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.

shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.

————————

the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.

you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.

"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.

you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."

"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.

"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.

yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."

"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.

"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.

"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.

you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.

"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.

"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.

the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.

it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.

"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.

"it's fine." he shrugged.

you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."

"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."

he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.

you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.

yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.

"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."

wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"

"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.

"then why do you act like you do?"

yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.

————————

to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.

the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.

the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.

a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.

he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night."  he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.

you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.

he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"

"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.

the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.

"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.

"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.

"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"

"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.

before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.

"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.

you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.

"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.

"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.

"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."

"did you need something?" he asked.

"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.

this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"

"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.

"at 4am?"

"i'm on night shift."

"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.

you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"

"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.

"what?"

"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.

exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.

once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.

"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.

"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.

but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.

————————

you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.

"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.

he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."

you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.

"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.

the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.

———————

weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.

this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.

you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.

"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.

"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.

in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.

"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.

"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.

"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.

you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.

"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.

"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.

"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.

yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.

"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.

wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."

yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.

"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.

"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.

"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.

"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"

"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.

he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."

hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."

you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.

you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.

about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.

you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.

leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.

"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.

he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"

"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."

"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.

you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.

————————

you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.

you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."

"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.

you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"

"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.

hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.

you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"

he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."

"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."

you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.

"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.

"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.

"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.

"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.

your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.

your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.

"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.

"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.

"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."

"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.

"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.

"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"

"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.

the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.

he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.

"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.

the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.

your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"

"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.

"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.

he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."

"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.

"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."

"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"

"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.

"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"

"what is it?"

you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."

"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.

"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.

"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.

but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.

you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.

when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."

you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"

"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.

"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"

"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.

"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.

he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.

he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.

this wasn't like yeosang. at all.

————————

as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.

"is she okay?"

"are you tired?"

"did she wake up?"

he was bombarded by questions.

"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.

"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.

"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.

"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"

"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.

"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.

"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.

you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.

"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"

"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.

"what do you need help with?" san asked.

you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"

"well yes, but he's asleep."

you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."

"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."

"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.

"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.

"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.

"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.

"good luck!"

"bye y/n!"

————————

you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.

you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.

you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!

yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T

you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !

yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<

you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?

yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^

you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)

yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?

you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.

————————

a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.

"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.

"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.

the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.

your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."

"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."

"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.

you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."

"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.

"well..."

"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."

you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.

"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.

"right. i'm so sorry about that."

this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.

"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."

"i'm so—"

"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.

his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.

he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.

the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.

you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.

you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.

he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.

you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."

"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.

you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."

"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.

you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."

"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."

————————

it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.

"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"

"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.

"five minutes."

"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.

on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.

"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."

your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."

just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.

"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.

"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.

"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.

"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.

"ah, so thats why you came."

"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."

your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)

when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.

yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.

he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.

the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.

"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.

"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."

you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.

he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"

"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"

"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.

you smiled, "if you are."

he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.

————————

the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.

"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.

"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.

"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.

"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.

you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.

you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((

he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.

something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?

————————

days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.

but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.

you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.

you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?

wooyoung: yeah he is

you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?

wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry

you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!

you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.

two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.

you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.

or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.

or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.

as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.

when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.

you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.

"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.

you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"

"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.

yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.

you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.

"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.

yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.

he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.

"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."

with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.

you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.

"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.

"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"

san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"

you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.

and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.

did he mean any of it?

————————

yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.

wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.

yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.

yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T

your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.

you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar

yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook

you: you can cook?

yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x

you: okay, i'll be there !!

————————

yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.

the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.

"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.

"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.

"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."

you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.

"so." he began.

"so." you copied, teasingly.

"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.

you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."

he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."

"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.

"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."

"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.

he sighed, "i remember.. enough."

"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.

"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.

you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."

comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.

"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.

"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."

"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.

"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.

"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"

"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.

yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.

"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.

"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.

you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.

"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"

yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."

you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.

"wait. you are?"

"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."

you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."

"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"

you shook your head and smiled, "i know."

————————

ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.

it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.

christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.

you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.

after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.

"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.

you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"

he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.

the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.

he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.

you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.

you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.

he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."

[thefanficmonster]

Perspective

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse recounts the time he first met his now best friend who too has been gifted with a deep voice.

Requested by two Anons. This fic is a mash up of two very similar requests I got from an unnamed Anon and 🖤🥀 Anon, so a big thank you to the both of you for sending in your requests! I’m really sorry to be posting your requested fic so late but I hope the final product is gonna make the wait you had to endure worth it! If you come across it and read it, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

“Yeah, yeah ok, I know.“ I can’t help but playfully roll my eyes at the comments that are flooding in, “Before any more people address it - even though it’s only been five minutes - I’m gonna address it myself: I apologize for the absence of the guest I promised would accompany me on this stream. She made the choice to party until late - or should I say early - and is currently probably asleep. And...I just don’t have the heart to wake her.“

In all honesty, all the blame should fall on Y/N’s lack of responsibility but I could never say such a thing - she rarely let’s herself loose and allows herself to have fun so there’s no way I’m gonna hold this one instance against her. Quite the contrary actually: I hope she starts going out and having fun more frequently cause really deserves it. She’s a super hardworking girl, studying college and working her ass off simultaneously.

“For those of you who don’t know who I’m referring to: the girl in question is Y/N, aka Jumpscaretastic, a horror games oriented streamer. She was supposed to join me for this freaky journey but...yeah I’ll have to endure it on my own because fuck me.“ I take a look at my chat again, deciding to keep this interaction with my viewers going for a bit longer before I start the game. I may be stalling but you sure as hell won’t hear me admit it. The game may be terrifying as hell - I have no doubt it is - but I doubt it would affect me so much if Y/N was here.  My eyebrows furrow automatically at the sight of one specific question that I’ve been getting asked quite a lot recently and I’ve been doing my best to avoid it cause the idea - to me, at least - is so messed up. Why, we’ll get into that later. “No- ok, this is the first and last time I’ll be addressing this wild assumption, you guys, so listen carefully. Y/N and I are by no means related. I’m not related to every deep-voiced person on this planet, just FYI.“ Speaking of Y/N’s deep voice which I’ve gotten so accustomed to hearing, I can’t help but recall the first interaction the two of us had when she got invited by Toast for a game of Among Us with us when Felix canceled on us due to technical difficulties. “I may not be related to her but she really put into perspective how other people feel and react when they hear my voice. I, honestly speaking was astonished by hers.“

A few months ago

“Ok guys, since Felix texted me about an hour ago, saying he won’t be able to make it, I invited a friend of mine so I hope that’s ok with you.“ Toast announces when the majority of us have accumulated in the lobby.

“Yeah, all cool. An introduction to them would be nice though.“ Charlie says, tampering with his avatar’s appearance on the in-game laptop.

“Oh, I’m sure she can do that herself.” He says with a bit of a chuckle, “Y/N?“

“I’m here, I’m here.“ 

My gaze moves from my chat to the monitor displaying the game in an instant as though it would reveal to me who the owner of this unfamiliar voice that just travelled through my headphones is. You know how my voice is considerably deep, yeah well this girl’s voice is six feet below that.  My eyes have widened without me even noticing as I hurry to unmute myself despite being a little late to the reaction party which already consists of a ton of ‘OMG’s and “WHOA”s from the rest of the people in the call. Not one of them, however, considers to question the authenticity of the voice.

“Was that a voice changer or something?“ I say, my eyebrows shooting up when I hear the laugh I receive in response to the question - a sound so deep but simultaneously sweet and girly it messes with my head.

“I wish I kept count so I could tell you which number on the list of people who’ve asked me that you fall under.“ The girl, Y/N replies, “But for the record no, it’s not a voice changer.“

Realizing how hypocritical this question probably seems coming from me, I decide to believe her - probably cause she gets nothing if she lies anyways. “Oh, so this is how it feels hearing my voice for the first time, huh?“ I say, slowly nodding my head, still in slight disbelief.

“Yeah, meeting her was quite rattling - in the best way possible though.“ I say, fixating myself back in reality following the little trip back in time to the day Y/N and I met. “She’s now one of my best friends so that should tell you enough.“

It goes without saying that, since she’s my best friend, I know her quite well. That being said, with the detailed knowledge I have on her, I can guess she’s gonna be in for a massive hangover when she wakes up. I just hope she texts me when she does so I can make sure she’s at least semi-functional. Just then, my phone buzzes with a message. Much to my shock, it’s a message from Y/N. Truth be told, I didn’t expect her to be up for another hour or two or three but here she is, sending a simple text that reads:

“My head’s pounding like a drum mid rock n’ roll concert“

There are no emojis accompanying the message, suggesting she’s deadly serious and in quite a bit of pain. Ok, I won’t sugarcoat it - she’s in a fuck-load of pain right now.

“The Sleeping Beauty has awaken and is complaining about a headache, just in case you were wondering.“ I chuckle seemingly nonchalantly as I silently contemplate whether to text her back or call her instead. Who’s gonna know better than my viewers, after all... “You guys think I should call her? Or would that annoy her?“ I ask, furrowing my brows at the chat as I see different responses coming in.

Meh, fuck it -  I think to myself, already taking my phone to call Y/N when the support of my viewers floods in as well.

She picks up after two rings, letting out a sound that sets the tone for the discomfort she’s in.

“Hello to you too.“ I say, putting the call on speaker so my mic can pick up her responses. “Would you please rate the pain you’re in right now on a scale 1-10?“

“A hundred.“ Her strained, raspy and deeper than usual voice comes through, stealing a chuckle from me, “I’m hungover and still a bit drunk. Like, how does that even work?“

“The morning after is a straight-up bitch. Welcome to the world of bad decisions.“ I tell her compassionately, low-key wishing I could go over to her place and provide her with at least a tiny bit of comfort, as much as I can.

“Yeah...“ she sighs halfway dramatically, “Anyhow, we usually text around this time, what’s up with the call?“

“Just wanted to make sure my best-girl wasn’t really dying, you know. Who am I supposed to annoy in Among Us if you’re not there, after all?” I raise my brow and, although she can’t see me, I bet she can probably guess I’m doing that.

“Whatever...“ The same way I can imagine her rolling her eyes while smiling as she said that, “Tell me this, am I wrong or was I supposed to be on your stream today?“

I barely manage to hold in my laughter at the question, “Uh, yeah you were, but...” she doesn’t let me finish my sentence, instead cuts me of:

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Corpse! I totally forgot. Believe me, if I could roll my ass out of bed I’d hop in but I really can’t. Unless you want me to be a bore for an hour and a half, that is.“

“For starters, you could never be a bore to me.“ I say matter-of-factly, “And for seconds, you’re kinda on the stream anyway...“

“Come again?“ She cuts me off yet again, “You’re calling me mid-stream? If so, hey everyone! Sorry I couldn’t join, I promise to make it up to both you and Corpse soon.“ A yawn comes from her end before she continues, “As of now, I think I’ll go back to sleep.“

“Alright, alright. I’ll call you again later to make sure you’re still alive. Sleep tight.“ I tell her, already hovering my thumb over the ‘Hang up‘ button.

“Won’t let the hangover bite.“ She slurs/murmurs, stealing my opportunity to end the call cause she does it herself.

I stare at my phone for a second, finally becoming aware of the grin that has spread across my face. Eventually, I address my viewers once again, “There you have it, guys. Technically, you can give her a pass for answering the call, especially in her current state, so let’s all agree to not hold this against her, cool?“

A brief look at my chat shows me the ton of fluffy comments that are coming in as a reaction to the interaction Y/N and I just had. One, however, sticks out especially. It reads: ‘You like her or smt?’

“Do I like Y/N?“ I read the comment out loud, a smirk coming across my face, “Of course I do. She’s a darling.“ If I had a webcam on I’d look straight into the lens and wink. That’s probably spark more than enough rumors, but at the very least they wouldn’t be wrong. “I’ve stalled enough, Outlast is waiting.“ I announce, finally starting the game. After all, it cannot be scarier than the conspiracies my fans could come up with. I get it though - from their perspective, we’re already the perfect couple; from my perspective we’re impossible because from Y/N’s perspective we’re best friends.

Ain’t that how it always goes?

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[alreadyblondenow]

I loved you first, but you’re not the last

“....You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,”

Pairing: Mark Lee x female!reader

Genre: Angst, SMUT, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers

WC: 4,588k

Warnings: Fake dating, break up,swearing, mentions or other idol, reader x Taeyong in the end, Taeyong as Mark’s brother, unprotected sex, virginity loss, a lot of making out, mentions of making out, touching, a small amount of dirty talking, oral sex (female receiving), overstimulation

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I get my internet connection back. Gosh I hope this posts. Part of Request Party

It was in the middle of the night when you received a call that did not just woke you up, but also woke your whole being. Body, mind and soul.

“You’re back?” crankily you sat up from bed, scratching your heavy eyes and about to get out of bed because the person on the other line is right outside your house, waiting for you.

He has been away and gone for too long because of college... and you should be excited as you go downstairs to meet him, but you know why he’s here and it’s no good news. Let’s face it, this night will not end nice.

“Here goes nothing,” you murmured. Wrapping yourself with your thick jacket before you finally step outside.

And the moment you opened the door, snow was falling and you didn’t miss how the snow landed peacefully on Mark’s eyelashes. Eyes looking straight to you, those sad eyes that can’t hide the pain that he’s holding. A pain that you caused.

You wanted to finally reunite first with a hug, but he got ahead of you and took your chance to show him how much you missed him.

“How could you?” he started, eyes still locked on yours. “I thought we were going to wait and do it right- how could you date my brother while I was away?”

Even you find it cruel. What you did to Mark was cruel, selfish, and unforgivable. And truth be told, you don’t have the right words now. You wanted to explain of course, but you’re scared it might break him even more. “I love your brother,” you said softly. Not even brave enough to look him in the eye because you feel bad.

“You loved me first,” he bite back. And you can’t help but be weak in front of him and cry. Usually whenever you cry, he will walk towards you and remind you how much you mean to him. But you guess not tonight, maybe you don’t deserve love tonight.

“You left me, remember?” you dried your tears and tried being brave even just for a short period. Just until you have the guts to walk away.

“Whatever. It’s not yet too late. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy,”

He finally said his true purpose tonight. This was his last chance and the only to win you back. But even though he has never been more honest in his whole life except tonight, he feels like not even telling you his feelings can bring you back to him. Mark was so frustrated that he has tears in his eyes already that you wanted to dry so bad. But if you really want him to respect the relationship you have with his brother, then this is the perfect time.

“I may have loved you first, but your brother is the last man I’ll love. I’m sorry Mark,”

And just as you finish saying those hurtful words, you finally have the bravery to turn your back on him and ignore his shouting that you’re sure your parents and neighbors heard. This is you throwing a decade of good friendship because of unrequited love.

FOUR YEARS AGO

The day before Valentines day, you don’t know what’s up with your mood or with you in general, because you’ve been so envy with the people around you, couples to be exact. As you admire happy couples in school who celebrates Valentines as early as now, you can’t help but to imagine someone.... someone that will give you flowers, chocolates... kisses, or whatever you’ll accept in whole heartedly.

Valentines is like Christmas, it’s a day of giving and receiving. But that only applies if you have someone special whom you can spend the day with and exchange shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine cards with.

“I can be your fake boyfriend, come on it will be fun,” he raises his seagull eyebrows and smirked. Come to think of it, it’s not a bad idea. You’ve been best friends even before kindergarten, you watch each other grow and went through puberty together until the next thing you know, you’re printing college applications together in your room because his printer broke down.

“Let’s not go to college without having the experience of high school love... you know, let’s have fun before we graduate with flying colors. Let’s go to parties, participate in Valentine-gram tomorrow, go to prom together. What do you say?” he added.

“But everything’s fake? What’s the point of fake dating if we already look like were dating ever since we started being friends?” You whine and flop on your bed, Mark did the same thing.

“Don’t think about it too much, just say yes,” for a moment you both just stared at the ceiling, wondering what could go wrong if you started fake dating. “Anyway, you don’t have a choice. I need to get home and answer these- Bye, you’re my girlfriend now!”

“W-what? Mark-“

And just before you could reason out with him, he’s gone with his college applications and you’re left with your thoughts and excitement. You don’t know why but Mark’s crazy idea made your heart jump, it’s like a good electricity that made you look for your art materials and spend the whole evening making your fake boyfriend a blue shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine card.

Even if the motive was fake, the effort was real and it felt good and right at that very moment.

But little did you know that his idea of fake dating was only his way to not shock you when he finally confess his feelings to you.

That’s right, your best friend is in love with you.

If she wears blue tomorrow I will confess to her. He tells himself as he stares in his ceiling, feeling the same excitement and electricity in his heart. Trying so hard to sleep but he kept on thinking about you and can’t help but feel the excitement for tomorrow again.

“You and Y/n started dating? Since when?” Mark’s mother exclaimed happily while driving. Looking at his son admire the roses he got you from the flower shop downtown.

“We’re just starting mom. Thanks for helping me pick these up by the way,”

“Oh there she is! Wearing blue! Oh I never realized how you two grew such good looking kids until now,”

Mark breathed in and let it out with a smile, thankful that you wore his favorite color, because he can’t continue to hide his feelings for you. Maybe you and him are really bound to happen.

As you wave goodbye to Mrs. Lee with a bright smile, there you see Mark carrying a unique bouquet of roses and your eyes immediately went big and sparkled because. Not to mention your heart beats so hard and fast because he looked so handsome even in his casual clothes.

“Wow- I’m speechless, these are beautiful. Where did you get these?” you accept the bouquet as he hands it to you with a smile. Engraving the look of your face in his mind and heart, swearing to himself that from now on he will make you happy like this everyday.

“It’s a secret. You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,” he said and planted a kiss on your forehead. Something so natural for you and him, but today is different. Nonetheless, you believe that today will be a beautiful and eventful day.

In the see of people wearing red and white in your school’s hallway, you and Mark are happy wearing blue. Such a sad color but you wearing it makes him the happiest guy today. Everywhere you look has a dash of red and pink, hearts are hanged here and there and almost everyone has red roses on their hand... except you.

Because you’re holding a bouquet of rainbow roses.

This year’s Valentines wasn’t like any other Valentine’s you usually have. Today you have Mark.

You have Mark to hold your hand while you walk on the school’s hallway. You have Mark to look at you so lovingly that your heart melts whenever you catch him looking. You have Mark to take you out on a date after school and take cute photos in a photo booth. You have Mark to share a big drink with two straws.

And most especially, you have Mark to kiss you under the dark sky full of stars in front of your house.

His lips were soft as expected. And the way his tongue swipes on your lip in the most subtle way just makes you want him to kiss more. He smiled in between kissing when you pulled him closer and kiss him more when he was about to pull away. And oh! You did not miss the way he softly moans, such music to your ears but sad to say you can only hear them tonight.

“Did you liked my Valentine card? I left it in your locker,”

You finally pulled away and surprised him. Wiping away the spit from your mouth, you wiped Mark’s as well. He only smiled to you and you wish he would stop doing it because you’re growing a little crush on him already.

“It’s full of glitters, it’s blue and it has watermelons. Of course I love it” he said then did it again, melted your heart with that damn handsome smile.

“Good,” you said softly, fixing his hoodie and finally giving him a bear hug that he deserves. “I don’t want this night to end,” you finally admitted it.

“Then let’s not end it,”

“Wait, you’re not faking anymore aren’t you-“

And just like that Mark cut you off with a deep kiss. Nothing like how he kissed you earlier. This time he was holding you tight that you’re almost out if breath and you feel like he’s about to crush you anytime. But the way he kissed you... it’s his way of confessing his love to you.

On the following days, everything changed between you and Mark. Though it’s clear that what you feel for him is only just a crush now and he knows it, still the guy is hopeful that you will love him like how he loves you.

Mark is the perfect definition of consistent. He showed you how he feels for you each day, and each day he became better than the day before, sweeter and bolder. He was putting everything on the line for you, showering you the love he has always kept in him. That’s why, in a matter of months you finally made it official with him and you can’t wait what the future has in store for the both of you.

“What do you love about me?” you asked out of nowhere while he was in the middle of playing his guitar. It wasn’t a hard question, but it made him stop and think for a second.

“I love how you give me constant reasons to love you even more each day,” the first line was enough, but Mark has more to say. “The way you kiss my cheek in the most friendly way but it always meant something to me, how you accepted me to be your friend and now boyfriend. I love how you love me, because being loved back by you is something so special that only us can understand”

What he said moved you of course. You didn’t know that he loves you deeply even before you started the fake dating thing. And knowing that Mark is just crazy and madly in love with you, you can’t help but wish that you are too. For now all you can do is accept his love, and give back however you can. You love him of course, but you can’t keep up with his love yet.

Days passed by and your relationship grew sweeter. More sweet words were exchanged and more kisses were given. Way more. Until you find yourselves making out whenever you two are alone.

“Aw!” you express your pain when Mark accidentally bit your lip. Something so sexy but it hurt and it made you both stop what you’re doing.

“Oops. Sorry, I got carried away” he says and took a look at your lips. “You’re fine right?”

“Mhmm” You answered, but just before he was about to start kissing you again, you stopped him by pulling away. “And it’s getting late, I think you should go home,”

“But I want to stay for more,” he said with a sly smile. Caressing your shoulders and soothing your back. If course you did not miss what he was talking about for more. You and Mark are young, and being new to this relationship thing just makes you both want to explore and feed each other’s curiosity.

“When I’m ready. I promise it will be worth the wait, for now it’s getting late and you need to go home... And work with some homework,” you gave him a final kiss and thankfully he did not pry.

The relationship you have with Mark was nothing like the friendship you used to have. The friendship was still there, of course, but friends don’t kiss your neck while you’re busy reading a book or slam you to the nearest wall and kiss you wildly. Friends don’t taste your favorite ice cream flavor through your tongue in the middle of a Netflix movie, and friends don’t get affected when they see you in your thin shirt and panties only whenever they give you a surprise visit.

“It’s the weekend, why are you here?” You whine as you try to go back to sleep. Clinging to your pillow and thick blanket but your boyfriend is currently losing his mind. Nonetheless, he remained a gentleman and covered your exposed leg and butt, covering you completely and keeping you warm. “Come to bed with me. Cuddle with me instead”

The young man’s eyes brightened and quickly joined you in bed. Swinging his arm around your waist from behind and nuzzling your neck to tickle you.

“I got into my dream college,” he whispered excitedly beside your ears which made you quickly turn to him and hug him.

“That’s why you’re here! Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realized” you planted kisses on his cheek the ones he loved receiving other than your slow and deep ones. “You used to talk about this ever since we were just kids. Ugh, I’m so proud of you”

“Promise to support me no matter what?” This time it’s him who went closer and planted kisses on your face. Of course you said yes, it has been his dream, but now that you knew you’ll miss him everyday and you know that the image of him walking away from you at the airport will truly hurt you, so you can’t help but fake it.

You rolled on top of him and his eyes immediately went big, wondering why and how are you like this. You have never been this bold and confident even in your wildest times, it’s like he’s seeing a totally different side of you and he loves it.

“Want to claim your early graduation gift?” you completely surprised him and started kissing his neck, while Mark is actually enjoying the moment by caressing your ass cheeks and teasing you by tugging your panties. You wish you have the same level of confidence with Mark, because you well know that between the two of you he is the one experienced with sexual activities, so now you try your best.

“Mmm” a loud pop surrounds your room as Mark sucks your nipples through your thin shirt. Taking turns with your left boob and right boob until your shirt is partly wet because of him and he can finally see your nipples. The sight of it gave him the feeling like no other. Of course this is not his first time seeing boobs, but this is different because it’s you.

The mere sight of your boobs just made him lose his mind and not to mention hard in no time. You watch him roll his head back while you slowly grind of top of him with a ruined shirt, looking so hot than ever so he quickly switched places with you. Putting you underneath him, looking down on you with hungry and lustful eyes.

“Do you wanna touch my boobs?” You asked him so innocently,reaching for his hand that’s placed on your waist. You put your hand and his hand inside your shirt, slowly lifting the wet shirt just above your chest to expose your boobs to him.

“I wish you were my first,” he said and immediately kissing your right boob while his hand kneads the other, pinching you or teasing you, or whatever he just wanted to hear something from you. And when he stopped making your nipples swollen, Mark just kept on kissing you softly and saying ‘i love yous’ over and over again. making you smile through his lips and soft touches, it is as if he’s taking away all your shyness and making you comfortable with the situation. The situation where your boobs are expose to him, your legs spread wide and Mark is in between your legs, grinding his clothed cock on your ruined and wet panties.

You were just kissing passionately but now you felt his hands hooked on your panties and the next thing you know he’s pulling it down without breaking the kiss until it reaches your thigh and eventually remove it but the shyness crept in again, making you close your legs and bite your lips in hesitation.

“Can I? Open your legs?” He asks, kissing your neck and calming you through the way he kisses you and touch you. And when he felt that you’re ready, he tried opening your legs again and this time you let him. Letting him place his body in between your legs, smiling through the kiss as if he’s telling you ‘good job’.

Mark spread kisses around your body, kissing every inch of your being, earning a giggle from you and with that he’s happy you’re not nervous anymore.

And when Mark pull away to discard his clothes, and release his cock, you were speechless when you saw it that you removed your own ruined shirt just to be fair ask him to get back in between your legs this instant.

“Lets do this right,” he said and immediately placed a finger on your wet slit that took your breath away. Up and down, you feel his finger nothing else, and when the moment comes and Mark put a finger in, your hand reached for his hand and tried to stop him because the pleasure was too much. But your handsome boyfriend was just smiling at you, smirking because you looked so ruined right now all you can do is smile back at him. And when he insert two fingers, he kissed you deeply and caught every moan you let out, every cry of his name, every groan, or whine.

And the next thing you know you’re closing your legs as you shiver and curl your body. Trying to get away from Mark because you’re sensitive already but your boyfriend is not stopping.

“First of many,” he says and stopped to pull out his fingers. But he is not yet done. He only gave you a few seconds to catch your breath and went back kneeling in between your legs again.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” you asked with ragged breaths and tired expression.

Mark did not answer you verbally, but he did physically. Licking your pussy juices and spreading your pussy lips while his eyes are completely locked on yours.

You said ‘no’, but you didn’t mean it and the moment his tongue swipes on your cunt you grabbed hold on your headboard and hold on for your dear life. Clenching and unclenching as Mark eats you out, trying so hard to close your legs but you can’t until your second orgasm drowned you quickly and all you can do is breathe in and out heavily.

“I hate you” you said but you’re clinging to Mark and sharing your warmth to him.

“I love you,” he said and intertwined his fingers with his, kissing your knuckles before he place both your hands above your head. You voluntarily spread your legs wider for him, and with his free hand he lines his cock finally.

“I didn’t know you’re big,”

What you said made him smirk and proved your discovery even more by pulling out entirely and slamming his cock back in your wet hole. “Now you know,” he said small grunts and went in deeper. He knew what he’s doing to you is too much pleasure because it’s your first time and also he can tell by the way you hold on to his hand.

“Planning to crush my hand?” he let out a cut giggle like he isn’t fucking you deep right now. How can he do that? Be insanely cute while doing something filthy to you.

“Y/n, I’m close can I go faster?” and you can only nod.

Fucking you faster and harder than earlier, you watch Mark become someone sinful when he started focusing on his own release, kissing your boobs while he fucks you, give your ass a tight squeeze, lick your neck like you’re a fucking ice cream and whisper dirty words or word that make you shy that you didn’t know you would love hearing. Like,

“Let me fuck you again,”

“You like it deep huh?”

“Y/n, you’re worth wait, you’re mine forever”

“This is the last pussy I’ll fuck,”

And in the end he pulled out and jerked in front of you, letting his cum fall on your lower abdomen and watch his cum drip to your sheets. It’s a shame that he can’t cum inside you, it would have felt great.

“Fucking shit- that sex was great,”

He rests his head on top of your boobs, but went back to kissing you again on the lips. Apologizing for his mess, aplogizing for his words and saying ‘i love you’ over and over again.

That morning, you stayed naked with Mark in bed for a few hours just talking and laughing, flirting and kissing. It felt great having a huge progress with your relationship, especially that it’s Mark who took your virginity.

“Hey, you okay?” he was talking about your pussy because even though he didn’t went hard earlier, he did fucked you a little bit harder knowing that it’s your first time. “I meant what I said earlier. Please be my last, I don’t want to give my love to anyone but you. It’s too early to talk about marriage but, I know it’s you. I’ll love you better each day, I promise”

Comfort, warmth and safety. That’s what you felt hearing those beautiful words from him that you became speechless and crashed your lips to him.

His promise was kept every day until you both finished high school together, enjoy the summer before he leaves and make unforgettable memories as many as you can.

But knowing that he’s going away to follow his dreams and fulfil his goals, Mark worried too much about long distance relationship and how it never worked.

“Are we really together now? I’m not dreaming right?”

Your sleep was disturbed when Mark called you in the middle of the night. Today, you taught him how to bake and had a couple of rounds during Netflix and chill, so to be honest you’re really exhausted and tired.

“Mark, we kiss, we date, we have sex almost everyday. Yes baby, we’re together for almost four months already. Now can we please go back to sleep-“

“Go down open your door. I’m outside”

And the moment you opened the door for him, you gave him a ‘shh’ sign, telling him that your parents are already asleep. You came closer to him for a kiss, and told him, “it’s real. I’m real. Can you please promise me to stop overthinking, you’re making me worry,”

He didn’t answer you but lowered his head. You knew he’s sorry and he’s just doing this for you,

“I love you, Mark. I’m yours forever,” you said and kissed him again. Deeply this time, to the point that it put you both in the mood and the next thing you know Mark is fucking you while he’s covering your mouth with his hand.

When Mark left you for college your relationship went downhill and you’re both getting hurt already. Fighting is part of the relationship, yes, but the fight you have with Mark almost everyday was becoming the reason why you want to distance yourself from him. You feel caged with how he love you, you feel like he’s strangling you with all these rules you need to follow to maintain trust in your relationship but nothing is working.

Until he finally realized what he’s doing to you.

So during his vacation, he visited you and you were so excited to the core that you welcomed him with a tight hug and the biggest smile. Only to find out that he wanted to break up.

But

“It’s just until we finish college. Let’s wait and do it right. I don’t want to fight for you while hurting you at the same time. Please understand. I’m not breaking up because I don’t love you. This time off will heal us both,”

The breakup did you no good. You were sad every day and to be honest you would rather want him to nag you than miss him like this and you can believe that between the two of you, he’s the one doing great in life. It makes you want to believe that he doesn’t love you anymore. Like the man you fell in love to, wasn’t there anymore.

“Still crazy about my stupid brother huh? Come here and help feed my fishes,”

His brother, Lee Taeyong, disturbed you and your ugly thoughts while you finish the drink their mom gave you during one of your visits.

“Well, college was good to you. I see you’re back and finally opening a bakeshop downtown” he hands you the fish food as you wait for him to talk and feed the fishes generously.

“I’m very much excited to open my bakery. Want to make cookies later instead of being broken hearted?”

And as days, weeks, and months pass by, not only Lee Taeyong making you forget about Mark, he also healed your heart and won it fair and square.

It started how he makes your heart flutter whenever he holds your hand while teaching you how to bake, how praises you and tell you that you look beautiful everyday, how he makes his kitchen your own little world during closing time and you’re sitting on the kitchen counter with Taeyong in between your legs and taking your breath away with a heated kiss.

When you and taeyong started dating, you experienced true love. You didn’t want to hurt Mark but what you have with Taeyong is real and you had to hide this from him for years and years and years, until you finally graduated in college.

And Tayong proposed to you. It was the only time you couldn’t hide your relationship from Mark anymore because Taeyong was the one who confessed to him.

*this is the part where you read the first part again JEJEHEH