#when he's talking to Myles

[soulsxng]

❝  i want to look in the mirror one day and not feel uncomfortable with my own reflection.  ❞ Myles/JJ

@hhemeraa

It was one of those rare moments of vulnerability between the two, as they lay together in the little tent. Pressed close (even though JJ could tell Myles probably wasn't thrilled about it) to stave off the undeniable chill that the air had taken on once the sun had set, and waiting for sleep to take them.

The day had been a difficult one, wrought with fighting and death after a surprise attack from an enemy force on the road. Many of their remaining men were injured to some degree, and while they had accomplished their objective, (albeit not in the way they'd planned) they still needed to make it back. Which meant that it was more important now than ever for JJ and Myles to be the reliable (infallible) leaders their men saw them as, and show a united front between the two of them to put the others at ease.

Only when they had retired to rest, were they able to let those masks fall. Voices soft and-- at least in JJ's case-- not bothering to hide the bone deep exhaustion that plagued both body and mind.

"Mm..." Amber eyes open a bit to look at Myles, and a small hum of agreement escapes him. Typically, he was the type that would take a minute to think of what the best response, when someone shared something like this with him. But now? Words spilled easily from his lips, uncaring of whether or not it might make him seem weak in some way. "Do you think you'll ever get to that point?"

"I've always told myself that I will, once I get where I'm 'supposed to be' in life, or something along those lines. But...where is that, even? A lot of times, I have no idea. And others, I feel like I'm just repeating whatever I've grown up being told."

The prince eventually trails off, fingers toying idly up and down his betrothed's hip. "...I don't know if I can really do anything to help take that feeling away permanently. Or if you would even want me to try. But for what it's worth, I could probably manage to distract you for a little while, at least. We're going to be in this arrangement for a while, so if you ever need support in anything...I'm here, Myles."

[gxldencity]

"Why are there too many American accents in datv? 😭" bc they're resetting to factory settings (dragon age origins)

[lunarkittenn]

Tell me why. After Myles acted like a selfish dickhead, ghosted me for a week, blamed everything on me, and then played some petty instagram games, he FINALLY gives me my dads stuff back right? Yet he returned my dad’s snowpants that I let him borrow with a giant hole in them, so bad they aren’t even fixable. And he said NOTHING any of the times I asked for my stuff back, or when he actually gave things back. Not a sorry, not an acknowledgment. Had to figure it out when I went to wash them.

The biggest fucking coward I think I’ve ever met in my life lol

What makes it worse is when I let him borrow them a couple months ago I said “please be careful. These are one of the only things I want of my dads hunting stuff”

[softspiderling]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“I wish Cregan’s choice of guests had less cocks.”

You leaned back in your seat, swirling the mulled wine in your goblet after the fifth time being stepped on your feet during a dance.

Alysanne nearly spat her cider all over the table as she laughed and she quickly covered her mouth, pushing her goblet away.

“You are incorrigible.”

“I am right!” You insisted, giving your friend a look.

It was Cregan’s name day, he was twenty and four now and you had taken the annual journey to Winterfell upon yourself to celebrate with him. As usual, his choice of guests consisted of men and a only handful of ladies, two of which were you and Alysanne. You were in the miserable position of being a lady who was not spoken for, so every lad in attendance was hoping to strike up conversation with the lady who came from another land.

“They are not that bad.”

You rolled your eyes at Alysanne.

“You only say that because no one even dares to offer their hand to you because they know you’re Cregan’s.”

Alysanne smirked but didn’t deny the fact. You were happy that Cregan and Alysanne had finally gotten around to confess their feelings for another, you weren’t sure how much longer you had in you to hear one friend talk about the other, even though the mutual affection was so clear to everyone else, but it left you at odds in certain situations.

Like Cregan’s name day celebrations.

This was the fifth one you attended after befriending Alysanne when her father came to your land to talk trades with your mother. This was the first one where Alysanne was (unofficially) spoken for.

Only the year previous, Alysanne had entertained multiple men for dances, hoping to provoke Cregan into a confession. But now, she leaned back comfortably without the risks of being asked for a dance by anyone but the host.

“You look miserable.”

Cregan had joined you, placing his empty cup on the table to wrap a hand around Alysanne’s shoulder, his eyes amused as he looked at you.

“I am miserable,” you lamented. “I think I need to soak my feet for the next three nights to recover from the absolute horrors that befell me on the dance floor.”

Alysanne snickered, laying her hand on Cregan’s.

“She’s used to better dance partners.”

“Of course,” Cregan said, a grin growing on his face. “The diplomatic kind. How could I forget. Remind me of his name again, Leoric of Caryndor?”

“Myles is of Caryndor, Leoric is the Count of Edrion,” you corrected him, biting back a laugh.

“Oh forgive me,” Cregan snorted. “I wouldn’t want to insult any of your highborn consorts.”

“Don’t be crude,” you huffed, despite the grin on your face.

It was a known fact that you had no shame in going after what you desired. It was a mere coincidence that your mother’s most frequent guests were of highborns who had impeccable dance lessons.

“Aegon the Conqueror pales in comparison to you,” Alysanne laughed. “Unfortunately Queen Rhaenyra is wed, or I would fear for the Seven Realms if there was possibility of you nearing the Iron Throne.”

“Aye, do not forget her son, Prince Jacaerys Velaryon,” Cregan replied, turning to you. ”You are close in age.”

“A very comely Prince,” Alysanne added and a smile tugged on your lips.

“I have yet to meet the ruler of Westeros, he is the Prince, you said? I do hope he is not a bore.”

Cregan huffed out a laugh.

“It might be some time before you lay your eyes upon him. His house rarely comes to the North. It is a little cold up here for a dragon.”

“Dragon?” you asked curiously, a brow arched. “I do hope to make his acquaintance soon.”

“Gods help him if ever ever does.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

author’s note: just a little drabble to and i burn for you (and you don’t even know my name) to explain reader’s background a little. tagging @eldrith just because and @throughgoeshamilton bc you have asked for this.

[mysticalcrowntyrant]

Ummm the boxer one was really interesting. Do you think you might continue? I was wondering if he would realize that “you” don’t think “you” fit. That someone like him could never care about “you”, so he changes tactics.

Decides that he has to make you realize you’re so much more important than anyone else. You’re worth everything. Inescapably so.

Yandere Boxer x Reader (Part Two)

Part One

You don’t go back to work the next day.

You call out sick. Then the next day, and the one after that. It’s not that you’re scared—at least, that’s what you tell yourself. It’s not fear exactly. It’s something heavier. Duller. Like trying to move through water that’s too thick. Like looking in the mirror and not recognizing the reflection staring back.

Because none of it makes sense.

People like Leon Myles don’t talk to people like you. They don’t watch. They don’t wait. They don’t say things like you belong to me and mean it like gravity.

And yet… he does.

You know he does.

And maybe that’s the worst part.

You stare at the ceiling of your shoebox apartment, lights off, silence wrapping around you like a second skin. The cracked plastic blinds sway slightly in the breeze, casting thin shadows across your wall. You think about his hand around your wrist—how it didn’t hurt, not exactly. How it could have, if he’d wanted it to.

You don’t fit in his world. You barely fit in your own.

You think maybe he’s lonely. You think maybe he’s bored. You think maybe you’re a game.

He doesn’t come the first day you’re gone.

But the second? You find a note wedged into your mailbox. The paper’s thick. Cream-colored. Your name written on it in penmanship too careful to be casual.

You forgot something. I’ll bring it to you.

—L

You crumple it up and toss it in the trash. But it doesn’t stop the way your chest tightens, the way your stomach coils like you’ve swallowed a stone.

You don’t know how he got your address. You don’t want to know.

You try to go out for groceries the next morning and find a familiar black car idling across the street.

You don’t leave the building after that.

He waits three days before changing tactics.

There’s a knock on your door—not loud. Not urgent. Just steady.

You peer through the peephole and curse under your breath.

It’s him.

He looks the same, of course. Always does. Untouchable. Perfect. He wears black like it was made for him. Even standing still, he radiates a kind of dangerous energy—like a coiled spring. Like he’s waiting for something.

You don’t open the door. Just whisper through it:

“Go away.”

Silence.

Then—his voice. Low. Controlled. “You didn’t come back.”

You press your forehead to the door. “I’m not coming back.”

“Why?”

You don’t answer.

“I thought you liked the job,” he adds, more gently this time.

You bite your lip hard enough to taste blood. “I liked being invisible.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. And then:

“I never wanted to make you uncomfortable.”

You huff. “You followed me.”

“I saw you,” he corrects, voice still maddeningly calm. “There’s a difference.”

You grip the door handle, fingers shaking. “You don’t know me. You can’t know me.”

“I know enough.” A pause. “I know you hate the way people look through you. But you also hate it when they look atyou. You think affection is a trick. You think anyone who’s kind to you wants something. And you’re usually right.”

Your breath catches.

“I know you only wear cracked lipstick because it’s the last one your sister gave you before she moved. I know your shoes have holes in them, but you won’t buy new ones because you think it’d be a waste. I know you re-read the same three books because new ones feel like indulgences. And I know,” he says, softer now, “that you think I’m here because I’m bored. Because I need to prove I can get someone like you.”

A bitter laugh scrapes out of your throat. “Well. Aren’t you?”

“No,” he says simply. “I’m here because you’re the first person in a long time who didn’t want anything from me. You weren’t impressed. You didn’t ask for an autograph. You didn’t want me.”

You squeeze your eyes shut.

“And that hurt,” he admits. “More than it should’ve. Because I wanted you. I still do. But you—”

He exhales hard.

“You think you’re not enough.”

Your throat tightens.

“You think I can’t really want you, not when there’s a hundred other girls who’d kill to be in your place. But none of them see me the way you do. None of them look at me like I’m real. You look at me like I’m a problem. Like I’m a warning sign.”

A silence blooms between you. Heavy. Loaded.

“I’ve been fighting all my life,” he murmurs. “I’ve fought men twice my size, I’ve fought for money, for survival, for pride. But this? You?” Another pause. “This is the first time I’ve ever felt like I have to win.”

You whisper, “You shouldn’t.”

“But I need to.”

Something in his voice cracks then, just slightly. It isn’t desperate. It’s raw. Real. It guts you.

“I don’t care how long it takes,” he says. “I’ll wait. I’ll show you. I’ll tear down every piece of this broken world until you see what I see.”

“And what’s that?” you whisper, hating the way your heart is beating again—alive and awake and afraid.

“That you’re the only thing that matters.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. He shouldn’t say things like that. You’re not special. You’re not anything.

But you also know… he means it.

You don’t open the door.

But you don’t walk away either.

Masterlist

[lvnleah]

viv’s move to manchester.

this series masterlist can be found here!

The day you helped Viv move into her new apartment in Manchester felt strange from the start. The drive had been quiet, except for the sound of Myle panting softly in the backseat. You held Twix tightly, watching your iPad in the back seat as Beth drove. Beth had packed up a few bits into the boot and you were taking them up to Manchester for Viv’s new apartment. 

When you arrived, Viv was already outside waiting. She waved when she saw the car, her big smile making your heart feel warm. But even though you were excited to see her, you didn’t like the way the moving truck behind her made everything feel different.

The offer from Manchester City was a tough decision to make for Viv. She had offers from all over the place, even outside of the country, and she’d talked about it thoroughly with Beth and all of your family. There was no chance she was leaving England because they knew it’d be too much for you. 

Manchester had the same priorities as Viv and although it was a few hour's drive, the train didn’t take as long. Manchester was too far away for Viv to stay living in London so a few weeks ago her and Beth went flat hunting while you stayed with Leah and Buddy. The new flat was really nice and you even had your own bedroom. 

“Hey, mijn meisje,” Viv said, crouching down to hug you as soon as you got out of the car. “And there’s Twix too! Did you keep him safe for me?”

You nodded and held Twix up for her to see. “He missed you, so did I!”

“I missed you too,” she said, scooping you up for a cuddle before setting you down. 

Inside the flat, everything felt too new. The walls were plain, the floors were shiny, and there weren’t any pictures or toys like at home. You followed Viv and Beth as they unpacked boxes, helping where you could. Myle trotted around, sniffing every corner like she was trying to figure out if this was her new home too.

“Where’s your bed, Mamma?” you asked after a while, clutching Twix to your chest.

Viv pointed to a room down the hall. “It’s in there, but we have to put it together first. Want to help me?”

You nodded and spent the next hour handing her screws and holding pieces of wood while she and Beth worked. When the bed was finally done, you climbed onto it with Twix, testing it out. It felt soft and big, but it didn’t feel like Beth and Viv’s bed at home.

As the day went on, the apartment started to look more like home. Viv hung up a few family photos in the living room, and Beth helped her organize the kitchen. You even put one of your drawings on the fridge, right in the middle where Viv promised it would stay. 

But when it was time to leave a few days later, your stomach started to hurt. You followed Viv to the door, holding her hand tightly.

“Do we have to go?” you asked quietly.

Viv crouched down so she was at eye level with you. “You and Mummy need to go back home, mijn meisje. But you’ll see me at the weekend, and I’ll call you every day. Okay?”

Tears pricked your eyes, and you clutched Twix tightly. “You come back with us? Please?”

Viv’s face softened, and she pulled you into a hug. “I wish I could, Roo. But this is my new home now while I play football.”

You didn’t say anything, just buried your face in her shoulder and held onto her as tightly as you could.

Beth’s voice was soft when she spoke from the door. “Come on, Roo. We need to get going.”

Myle whined as if she didn’t want to leave either, and you couldn’t stop the tears from falling as you said goodbye. Viv kissed your forehead and promised again that you’d see her in a few days, but it didn’t make leaving any easier.

The car ride home was quiet again, except this time, you didn’t let go of Twix. Your chest felt tight, and even Myle’s gentle nudges against your hand didn’t help as you watched your iPad again. 

By the time you were back in London, it was late, and the ache in your chest hadn’t gone away. Beth tried everything to cheer you up—she made your favourite dinner, read extra bedtime stories, and even let Myle curl up on the rug in your room. But nothing worked.

The first night without Viv proved harder than Beth anticipated. She’d known it would be rough for both you and her, but nothing could have prepared her for just how much you would both miss Viv’s presence in the house.

You were curled up in her bed, clutching Twix trying to fall asleep. Beth had tucked you in hours ago, reading you three bedtime stories instead of the usual one. But it didn’t help. “Mummy,” your small voice called from your room.

Beth sighed, putting down the tea she hadn’t touched. She padded into your room, finding you sat up in bed, your cheeks streaked with silent tears.

“I want Mamma,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Beth’s chest ached. She sat down beside you in bed and pulled you onto her lap, “I know, baby. I miss her too.”

“Why can’t she stay here?” You sniffled, burying your face against Beth’s chest. 

Beth rubbed your back gently. “Mamma has her new club in Manchester, remember? And Manchester is a long, long, loonggg way from London, isn’t it? So Mamma needs to stay at her new flat in Manchester but I promise we’ll call her in the morning. How does that sound, eh?”

You shook her head. “I don’t wanna call her. I wan’ her here now!”

The tears spilt out before you could stop them. Your chest felt tight and hot, and it was hard to breathe between the sobs. Beth held you close and rocked you back and forth, whispering how much Viv loved you, but it didn’t help. The ache didn’t go away.

Eventually, you heard Beth sigh. She pulled back a little so she could look at you. “Alright, how about this? Just for tonight, we’ll do something special. Want to eat pizza in bed and watch Tangled?”

You blinked at her through your tears. “In bed?”

“In bed,” Beth said with a small smile. “But only this one time. Deal?”

You sniffled and nodded. “Okay. But I want plain pizza.”

“Plain pizza it is,” she said, wiping your cheeks with her sleeve.

When the pizza came, you carried Twix into Beth’s room and climbed onto her big bed with Myle. She set up her laptop at the end of the bed, and you snuggled under the covers while Rapunzel sang about her tower. Beth handed you a slice of pizza on a napkin, and you took tiny bites, feeling a little less sad with every bite.

By the time Flynn Rider started singing, your eyelids were heavy. You rested your head against Beth’s chest, feeling warm and safe. Twix was tucked under your chin, and Beth’s voice hummed quietly along to the music.

Before the movie ended, you were already asleep.

The next few weeks weren’t easy. You struggled to adjust to Viv being away despite seeing her on the weekends and talking to her multiple times a day. Little things set you off—spilling juice, not finding Twix in the morning, or even the sound of Beth saying “no.” Each tantrum seemed bigger than the last, and Beth tried her hardest to stay patient, even when she felt like crying herself.

Things didn’t seem to get any better. Beth had to go to training, and you had to go with her, which you weren’t thrilled about. As soon as you got to the training ground, you crossed your arms and pouted. You didn’t want to be there. You didn’t want to do anything. You just wanted to go home. 

So you decided to plop yourself down on the floor and refuse to move from the hallway outside of the changing rooms. 

Beth noticed right away. “Roo, come on, munchkin,” she said gently, bending down to look at you. “It’ll be fun, I promise. The team will be happy to see you.”

You shook your head as the tears began to bubble up. “I don’t want to stay here. I want Mamma.”

Beth sighed, she had been trying so hard to keep things normal, but it wasn’t working. She was tired, too and felt like crying at any given moment. 

You lay on your back, tears flowing down your face as you kicked your legs around. “I want Mamma!”

“I didn’t do it,” you heard Monkey say as her and Leah came out of the changing room. “You have no proof I did it.”

Leah raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a small, knowing smile. “Oh yeah, course, none at all,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Monkey shrugged innocently, but before she could say anything else, she spotted you still lying on the floor, tears streaming down your face. Her expression softened instantly, and she looked down at you. 

“Why the glum face, kid?” she asked. “I’m here! The party can begin!”

Beth shot her a sharp look. “Not the time, Monkey.”

Beth looked up and caught Leah’s eye. The silent exchange between them was brief but loaded: I’m at my wit’s end. Leah nodded, crouching down to your level and softening her voice.

“Hi, Roo,” Leah said gently, pushing a strand of stray hair out of your face. “You’re not having such a good day, are you? Do you want to tell Auntie Le what’s wrong?”

You shook your head, hugging Twix tighter and sniffling. Leah stayed patient, giving you a moment. “Come on, sweetie,” she coaxed. “There’s no need for tears. Where’s our happy little Roo gone, eh? I happen to know there’s a special cake in the canteen with your name on it. Shall we go and have a look?”

You sniffled again, peeking at her through watery eyes. “Chocolate?”

“Oh of course,” Leah said, her lips curling into a small, reassuring smile. “Only the best for you!”

Your lip wobbled, but you slowly reached out to take Leah’s hand, clutching Twix with your other arm. Beth let out a quiet sigh of relief as she stood back up.

“You get changed,” Leah said over her shoulder, scooping you up onto her hip. “I’ve got her for a bit.”

Beth hesitated, getting a glare from Leah as if to say “you need five minutes of peace”, before nodding gratefully and heading to the locker room.

In the canteen, Leah found a quiet table for the two of you and set you up with a slice of chocolate cake. You poked at it with your fork before taking a tiny bite, still clutching Twix protectively.

Leah watched you quietly for a moment before leaning closer. “You miss your Mamma, don’t you, huh?” she asked softly, her tone understanding.

You nodded, not looking up.

“It’s hard when someone you love moves away,” Leah continued, her voice calm and soothing. “But you’re so brave, you know that? Your Mamma misses you too, more than anything. And you’ll see her soon, I promise.”

You sniffled, taking another bite of cake. “She said she’d call tonight.”

“She will,” Leah said, smiling gently. “And when she does, you can tell her all about how you had chocolate cake and hung out with your cool Auntie Le.”

“Monks said you're not cool!” You giggled before hiccuping. 

Leah gasped in mock offense, “Oh did she now?”

“She said you’re bossy!” you said, a small giggle breaking through your sniffles.

Leah leaned back in her chair, “Well, Monkey clearly doesn’t know what cool is. I mean, who just helped you find chocolate cake, huh? That’s peak coolness right there!”

You giggled again, the sound making Leah smile in relief. “Okay… maybe you’re a little cool.”

“A little?!” Leah said, pretending to be scandalized. “Roo, you’re killing me here.”

You smiled shyly, taking another bite of cake, “You get me cake again when I’ sad next? Then you’re cool!”

Leah chuckled. “Deal, but don’t tell Monks. She’ll want in on the cake action, and we can’t have that can we, eh? She’ll be eating all of it!”

You smiled a little wider, the tears from earlier drying on your cheeks. Leah ruffled your hair lightly. “That’s my girl. Now, finish that cake so we can boss everyone in at training, yeah?”

By the time Beth came into the canteen, she was changed and ready for training. “You feeling better now, munchkin?”

You nodded, your cheeks still a little puffy from crying, “Auntie Le’s cool. She got me chocolate cake!”

Beth arched an eyebrow, glancing at Leah with mock suspicion. “Oh, she did, did she? Are you trying to bribe my kid, Le?”

Leah grinned. “Not bribing. Just being the cool Auntie, apparently.”

Beth crouched down beside you, brushing a hand over your hair. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, munchkin. Why don’t you go get some toys to take outside with you, yeah?”

You nodded before slipping off of your chair and running over to the little toy box that was for you and Buddy. 

Beth sat down next to Leah with a sigh, “Thanks, Le. How are you so good at this?”

Leah chuckled, “Tantrums are a daily occurrence in my house these days. You can return the favour when Buddy has a meltdown over the crusts not being cut off her sandwich next time."

The next few days were easier but still tough. You still had tantrums over little things but they weren’t as full blown. Nights proved to be the toughest though, so Beth had just given in and let you sleep in her bed cuddle up to her. She was doing anything to make sure you were happy. 

Beth tried her best to keep the routine as stable as possible, with the team stepping in to help where they could. She decided to take you and Myle to Manchester to visit Viv for the weekend with Vic tagging along. You were so excited you barely slept the night before, waking up at the crack of dawn to pack Twix and your favourite toys into your backpack.

The drive up was a lot livelier this time, with Vic sitting in the backseat with you, telling silly stories that made you giggle endlessly. Myle seemed to pick up on your excitement, her tail wagging as she rested her head on your lap.

When you arrived at Viv’s flat, she was waiting outside with a wide smile, just like the last time. “There’s my mijn meisje!” she called out, kneeling down to scoop you up the moment you jumped out of the car.

“Mamma!” you squealed, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck.

Myle barked happily, pulling at her lead as Beth got her out of the car. “Alright, alright, Myle, calm down,” Beth said, laughing as Myle bounced over to Viv, tail wagging furiously.

“You survived the journey then?” Viv teased as Vic climbed out of the car, stretching dramatically.

“Barely,” Vic joked, ruffling your hair as you clung to Viv. “Your kid’s got a lot of energy, you know that?”

“Tell me about it,” Beth muttered, shaking her head but smiling fondly.

“Hi, liefde.” Viv smiled as Beth threw her arms around the pair of you. 

“Oh god, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you,” Beth mumbled into Viv’s neck. 

Inside the flat, everything felt better with Viv there. She’d decorated a little since your last visit, there were more pictures on the walls, and your drawing was still front and centre on the fridge. She’d even set up your bedroom with some of your favourite toys and new bedding which had a princess on it. 

“Look!” Viv said, leading you to the room. “I got this just for you.”

Your eyes widened as you saw the new bedding. “It’s Princess!” you squealed, running over to touch it. “Mamma, it’s my favourite!”

“I know,” Viv said, kneeling beside you. “I wanted you to feel like this is your home too.”

You threw your arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. “It does! It’s perfect!”

The weekend was full of laughter and cuddles. Viv took you to a nearby park where you played on the swings and slid down the slides with her cheering you on. That evening the four of you, plus Myle and Twix, snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie. You fell asleep halfway through, curled up between Viv and Beth, Twix tucked under your arm.

“I think someone’s tired!” Beth giggled, nodding towards you as you practically laid on top of Viv. 

Viv smiled, brushing your hair away from your face before placing a kiss on your forehead, “Yeah, it’s been a long week for her.”

[savebylou]

Transcription:

The music industry is brutal, heartless and relentless. We give our souls to entratain people & create art. We are seen as comodities & not as people! I've experienced this first hand & experienced the devastating effects mentally! There ia not care to you as a person from 99% of people in the industry. You are a £ sign to labels and management. Nothing more. If me & the boys didn't have each other i couldn't walk this path or I wouldn't be here.

I was intensive care for 3 weeks & two people from the industry checked for me (Sam & Andy). You have to ask yourself, if you wasn't a musician earning people money would your paths cross, you will there hear your answer to who is there for you.

This being said, liam paynes Passing is yet another failing Of this machine That what we call then "Music Industry" Is the MONEY INDUSTRY for everybody Except the people that get hurt The most.

And to anybody new in the industry, Remember if you came into this game alone, that's the way you will leave it. Find peace within yourself outside of music. Confine in people you unequivocally trust your life with because THEY will be the ones that one day might save it.

Myles Stephenson, from the R&B boy-band Rak-Su (in 2017, they won the fourteenth series of The X Factor).

[writtenbyan-aries]

∶ Private Request

∶ Summary: Spy!reader gets detected while on a mission to collect intel on the Sturniolo Mafia, but is it wrong place wrong time, or right place right time?

∶ Warnings: strong language, angsty, enemies to lovers, alcohol, weapons, killing/death, kissing, other [fanfic] mafia themes

∶ Word Count: 9.7k | PART TWO

──⋅── 𝕊 ──⋅──

“What is your location?”

You slowly and casually bring your drink up to your mouth, lowly speaking into the mic imbedded in your bracelet, “By the bar.” You take a sip of your drink as a follow up question sounds through your earpiece, “Do you have eyes on the suspect?”

Your eyes scan around the room, “Not yet.”

You set your drink back down on the bar and continue looking. You give warm smiles to anyone who looks your way, making it seem like you actually belong here.

“We have to get you out of there on T-minus twenty minutes, try and hurry.”

You roll your eyes as you look down and you hear a laugh in your ear piece, “I saw that, y/l/n.”

You look around, stopping when you see a familiar face on the top floor, Myles, the one in your ear, looking down at you. You shake your head and grab your glass, moving across the room.

“I haven’t seen you here before.”

You turn, giving a smile to the gentleman walking up to you, “This is actually my first time attending.” You laugh lightly, “That’s probably why.”

He nods, extending out his hand, “I’m Nicolas.”

You lay your hand in his, “Nice to meet you, Nicolas.”

He smiles, tilting his head, “And you are..” he motions for you to speak and you snort, “Oh, right. Yes. I’m Anastasia, but you can call me Ana.”

“Hmm, Anastasia.” He nods, “Pretty name.”

“Thank you, it was given to me after my aunt.” You smile up at Nicolas and he looks around, “She sounds like she was a great aunt.”

“She was.” You finish your drink, “Oh, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take advantage of the open bar.” You walk away, feeling his eyes still on you. You swallow, resting your elbow on the bar as you talk lowly into your mic, “Was that-“

“Christopher’s brother, Nick? Yes, it was.”

“Thought so.”

“What, them looking almost identical gave it away?”

You laugh, “Mhm.” You point to your glass and the bartender nods, bringing a bottle over to fill up your glass, “Thank you.” You sigh and bring it to your lips, taking a much needed sip.

“So where are you from?” Nick walks up, leaning against the bar, “Are you from around here?”

You look up at him, “I’m originally from Atlanta, but with my dad being in the business, we moved around a lot, and I really liked it here, so I figured I’m a big girl, I can move to Boston if I want.”

He nods, “Yeah, yeah. Boston is nice.”

“Y/n, we need to get you out of there. Now.”

You could tell Myles was trying to not sound frantic, but you could read him like a book. You take a deep breath, “I’ve been here for a while, so I think it’s time I finally head out. It was great meeting you, Nicolas.”

He gives you a half smile, nodding, “Yeah, we were hoping you’d be here tonight, y/n.”

Your heart drops and you tilt your head, “I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong person.”

“Go, we’ll cover you.”

You start to walk away, quickening your pace as you make it to the front doors. Two men in all black attire, step out, blocking your exit.

“Shit.” You turn, spotting a door that’s swinging open and closed and you bolt, running into the kitchen area.

You had two, if not three people on your tail, and you were desperate for a way out. You turned right, then left, then made another right, running up to a door with an exit sign above it.

You pushed, and pushed, trying to get it open but it wouldn’t budge. You stepped back, hearing the chatter and footsteps growing closer and closer. You ran forward, giving it one good shove and it pops open, giving you an out.

Or so you thought.

You stop when you hear the racking of a few pistols, letting out a sigh as you raise your hands.

“This her?”

“Yes, boss. This is y/n y/l/n.”

“The spy, right?”

“Indeed it is.”

Hands grip your wrists, yanking them down behind you. The clicking of cuffs sound, and you scoff, “You could have asked nicely, I would have done it.”

“Shut up.” He mumbles, “Where’s your wire?”

“On her wrist.” Nick walks up, “Seen her talking into it a few times.” You sigh as the beads from your bracelet fall and bounce on the ground by your feet, “That was expensive.”

“She has an earpiece too, Matt.” Nick points and you just stare at him, “So, what do you want with me? Dead, information on where I’m from?” Nick shrugs as Matt removes your earpiece, “That’s not our decision.”

He points as his brother gets out of the black Sedan, “It’s his.”

You watch as Christopher gets out of the car, your eyes focusing on his as he stares at you, “You’re Christopher?”

He motions to the car behind him, “Get her in.”

You’re pushed forward, but you try and fight back. Nick grabs your other arm, while Matt holds the other and Christopher leans in, “if you want to live, fighting us isn’t in your best interest.”

You clench your jaw, staring at him as Matt and Nick guide you to the car. You scoot into the seat, adjusting your position so the cuffs aren’t digging into your wrists. You blink as the door is slammed closed and Christopher is gone.

The other side opens and he gets in, “Take us home.”

You avoid looking at him, keeping your stare on the back of the headrest in front of you. It’s silent for the first few minutes. You were racking your brain for a way to get out of this situation.

You were one slip away from getting out of the cuffs when the silence is broken, “You can call me Chris, by the way.”

You ignore him, clenching your jaw as you turn your head away from him.

“You don’t have to talk now, but just know that you will when we get back home.”

“What makes you so sure of that?” You mumble, side eyeing him, “You seem to already know everything about me.”

“If that’s what you want to think.” Chris chuckles, “There’s some stuff we don’t.” You roll your eyes, “Like what?”

“Like why you accepted an invitation in the first place, how much intel you have on my group.” He sighs, “Small things like that.”

You lean back, wrists twisting slowly in the cuffs, “So if you know everything but those things, then you know that I’m highly trained in getting out of situations like this?” You pull your hand up, slowly bringing the other one and all Chris does is smirk, “I told Matt not to worry about those in the first place, but he does his own thing, as you can see.”

“So you’re the leader?” You tilt your head, “You don’t strike me as the leading type.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” He nods, “But it’s not all about looks, sweetheart. It’s about the power one can hold. Watch.” He leans up, “Stop the car.”

Your body is jolted forward as the car comes to a halt, “What the f-“ you lean over, looking forward then behind at the cars that have also stopped.

Chris leans over, whispers in your ear, “See, power.” He looks forward, “Keep going, I just had to prove a point.”

The car starts moving and you sigh, “So, you have power. Big deal.” You rest your hands in your lap, “What makes you think that I just won’t let you kill me.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and find out if that’s true or not.” Chris looks over at you and you look at him, “yeah, I guess we will.”

──⋅── 𝕊 ──⋅──

You were silent the rest of the way, trying to read Chris the whole way to where ever it was you were going, home?

Usually, you have an act for reading people, detecting their next move before they can even make it, but with Chris, you couldn’t figure him out.

He was laid back, relaxed. Didn’t seem stressed whatsoever.

You had no idea what he was going to do, or thinking about doing.

“We’re here, boss.” The driver turns his head and Chris nods, “Okay.” His door opens and he gets out, walking away before your door opens.

“C’mon.” Matt reaches in, pulling you out and you’re slammed against the car, “Slipped out of your cuffs I see. Guess I’ll just-“

“Matt. Relax.” Chris walks up, “Just, take her downstairs until I figure out what to do with her.” You look at Chris and he turns away, walking inside with a group of his men.

Nick walks up, grabbing your arm and he leads you inside and down the steps with Matt.

“Where are you taking me?” You question, looking over at Nick, and Matt speaks before Nick can, “Can you just-“

“I believe I was asking Nick, not you.” You scoff, “Someone’s jealous they didn’t get the crown.”

Matt rips you away from Nick, pushing you against the wall, “This has nothing to do with me not getting anything, it has everything to do with that fact that a little rat like you, was sniffing us out trying to bring everything we’ve built up, down.”

You stare into Matt’s cold eyes, “How about you let me the fuck go. Get your hands off of me, before I really end up hurting you.”

Matt laughs, dropping his hands, “Give me your best shot.”

You stare at him, “No, because I know this trick. Been in something like this before.”

He nods, “Fine, but don’t fucking bark, if you can’t fucking bite.” He grabs your arm, pulling you down the hall towards a cell. You stumble beside him, mumbling to yourself before he pushes you into the room and slams the door shut.

He peers in through the small rectangular window before walking away.

You roll your eyes, leaning against the wall and Nick looks in, “Just, hang tight okay. Chris usually has us end someone on the spot, so he must be planning something for you.”

“Planning something for me?” You scoff, “If you guys want information, don’t sent that asshole back in here to do it.” You nod towards the door and you hear Matt chuckle lowly.

Nick sighs, “Yeah, I think Chris knows that.”

“Good. He fucking better.” You look around as Nick walks away and it felt like hours until finally someone came back down.

You sat up from the cot and stood up, the keys jingling in the door send a chill down your spine.

“Come with me.” Nick motions, “Chris wants to speak with you.”

“He’s not coming down here?” You look at Nick funny and he moves his eyes around, “Do you see him anywhere down here?”

You huff, “Fine.” You walk towards Nick, turning your body away from him as you move past him. You step out into the hall and hold your arm out, “Are you going to escort me?”

“Do you plan on running?” He looks at you and you shrug, “Now why would I tell you something that would be a surprise?”

“I don’t know.” Nick shakes his head, “You’re so annoying.”

“Yeah, well it takes one to know one, now doesn’t it?” You roll your eyes as he grabs your arm, escorting you to the steps, “Go. And incase you’re planning to run, there’s like five guys at the top of the steps waiting to see if you do or not.”

“Way to ruin the fun.” You laugh slightly as you walk up the steps, your eyes meeting Matt’s glare as you reach the top. You squint at the sunlight flooding in through the windows, and you look back at Nick as he points, “Down the hall.”

You turn, walking until you’re told to stop.

Nick knocks and the door opens, a man standing there in all black, like the ones from the party, opens the door.

Nick gives you a nudge and you walk into the room.

“We’ll be fine.” Chris assures as he stands, “You guys can go.”

You glance back as the men nod and leave with Nick, “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” You look back at Chris and he points, “Sit.”

“I’m not a dog.” You cross your arms and Chris sighs, “Fuck, fine. Please, have a seat.”

You fight back a smirk as you walk over to chair in front of his desk and sit down.

“So.” He starts out, leaning back in his chair, “Why were you at the party?” You furrow your brows, “Why’d you invite me?”

He shakes his head, “We’re not- don’t answer my question with a question.”

You roll your eyes, “Fine. I accepted because I’m apart of a group too, but only my group, doesn’t take out people for absolutely no reason.”

Chris scoffs, “You think I don’t have any reason to end the people I do?” He shakes his head, “Clearly, you didn’t get the correct intel.”

“So why? Why do you take out the people that you do?” You cross your arms, leaning back in your seat, “Please, give me one good reason.”

“They’re a threat to me, my brothers. My family.” He tilts his head, “That should be enough reason.”

“Uh huh.” You nod, “Okay. So back to what I was saying.” You look around, “I thought maybe you had invited me because you knew who my father was.”

“Your father contributed to us, y/n. He practically gave us your name.”

You squint, “That’s a lie. My father was against any and all mafia groups.”

He shrugs, slowly letting his shoulders fall, “I guess you really didn’t know your father all that well, or else you would have noticed-“

You stand up, slamming your hands on the desk, “Don’t you ever talk about my father.”

Chris stands up, placing his hands next to yours, “What are you going to do about it?” You glance down, quickly grabbing the scissors that are in the glass cup and press the point into his neck, “One more word and I’ll end you before they get to me.”

He takes a deep breath, a smirk rested on his lips, “You’re going to protect someone who signed your life away before you even knew about it?” He raises his brows, “Bold move, sweetheart.”

“Don’t.” You push the scissors in a little more, “Call me that.”

“Fine. But I think you should know something.”

“What.” You move your eyes from his neck to his and he reaches up, quickly grabbing your wrist. He spins you around and now the scissors are pressing into your neck.

He leans in, tightening his grip before whispering, “The only person you never have to have a guard up with, is me. But I think you already caught onto that.”

He drops the scissors to the floor and pushes you to stand up.

You turn around, “I could have killed you if I wanted to.”

He smirks, “And I could have murdered you, without any hesitation either, but those angelic eyes made me all weak and dizzy.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you.” Chris shrugs, “We can do this all day.”

You sit back down, “What do you want?”

“I told you.” He walks around, sitting on his desk in front of you, “you help me, I help you.” You scoff, shaking your head, “You want me to help you bring down my agency?” You look at him, “How does that help me?”

“Because I can give you a better life, one that you can only ever imagine. You can handle yourself, I know you can. I’ve seen it, just now actually. You trust me, because if you didn’t, you would have actually stuck those scissors in my neck.”

“I don’t trust shit.” You snap, “I’m getting out of here, with information, so you can do what you want with that.”

“I really think you’re mistaken, y/n. You’re not getting out of here. The only way is if you’re going anywhere with me, or in a body bag. Your choice.”

You swallow, shaking your head.

“Think about it. I want you on my side, y/n. You’d be a great asset for me.”

“Is that it? You just want me to become someone who worships the ground you walk on, become a hit man for you?” You look at him and he shakes his head, “No I mean..” he laughs, “Oh, y/n. I don’t think you’re understanding.”

“Clearly, I’m not.”

“I want you to be with me.”

“What?” You laugh, “You think I’d like to be with someone like you?”

“Your dad certainly thought you would.”

You stand up, “Can I go back to the dungeon now?”

“Just, sign this.” He moves back around his desk, pulling out a fancy pen and a sheet of paper, “It just states that you understand why you’re here, you don’t give out any info, and you’ll just do anything we tell you to.”

“Oh, so you’re asshole brother can control me as well?” You shake your head, “No, no thanks.”

“Look, y/n. We’ve been keeping tabs on you, watching you grow into the little spy that you are, which, honestly, I think you were born to do.” He smirks, “Kinda hot actually.”

You roll your eyes, “So what?”

“I like you, and I think you and I can make something great, even better here.” He raises his hands, “I’m not going to make you sign now, but at some point, I just know you’re going to come crawling up here and your fancy signature will be on that line next to my name.”

You scoff, “Whatever.”

“Nick!” He calls and the doors open instantly, Nick walking in, “Yeah?” He motions to you, “Take her back down, she’s got some thinking to do, and keep Matt away from her.”

You stare at him, a smirk playing with your lips, but you turn before it can fully form.

Nick leads you back downstairs and as he closes the door, you turn around, “Do you think I should sign that contract?”

He shrugs, “That’s up to you. If you don’t, these are the only four walls you’ll see most of the days.” He sighs, “I’m not.. trying to sound like an asshole, I just want keep it straight with you.”

“I’m not getting out of here am I?”

He shakes his head, “Not unless you kill every single one of us, but even then, you’ll have people on your ass from all over, so it’s not worth it to even try.”

“Why are you so nice to me even though you called me annoying like ten minutes ago?”

He laughs, “Someone’s gotta be the good cop, right?”

“I feel like there’s more to that.” You tilt your head, “What?” He shakes his head, “Chris is pushing to get a leading lady, why? I don’t know. But he’s set on having you as his lady.”

“Why me though?”

“Why not you?” He leans against the door, “You’re highly trained and skilled in not only being a spy, but assassinations, too. I mean, I’m not saying that chris would put your life on the line, because between me and you, he’s really got it bad for you.”

You shake your head, “I just can’t throw myself into a relationship. I’m good at what I do, but when it comes to this, I think about putting scissors into the side of his neck before anything else.”

“You tried that. Didn’t work out, too well, now did it?” Nick scrunches up his nose and sighs, “Well, chris said you have some thinking to do, so you might want to get to it.”

“Can I at least get something to eat? I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since last night.” You sit back down and he nods, “I’ll see about getting you comfortable clothes, too.”

“Thanks.” You mumble, letting out a sigh as you lay back onto the cot. Your eyes search the ceiling, then the wall, moving to the window. You huff at the fact that if you got up and tried, you couldn’t get out.

You weren’t getting out.

The longer you laid there, the more you thought, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad? A set life, protection, anything you could ever want?

“No.” You sit up, shaking your head, “Fuck.”

There’s a knock on the cell door and you stand up, “Thanks Nick, I-“

“Wrong brother.” Chris smirks as he pops the door open, “Figured we could have a little dinner together and talk.”

You sigh as you sit back down, “I don’t really have a choice, so why not.” You reach out, taking the bag of food from his hand. He sits down on the ground in front of you, “You ask, I’ll answer.”

You stay quiet for a second, “I talked to Nick, but I want to hear it from you.” You look up at him and he nods, “Alright.”

“Why me?”

“Why not you?” He chuckles, “Just look at yourself, you’re beautiful, skilled as fuck, and just overall incredible.”

“Flattering won’t get you anywhere.” You roll your eyes as you focus on the dinner on your lap. He laughs, “I’m just being honest, you asked, and I answered.”

After a minute of silence, he sighs, “I think you and I could be a kick ass team, y/n. You already have so much power, did you take notice to how many people escort you through the house?”

“I was out once?” You glare at him and he laughs which only angers you more. He holds his hands up, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but seriously. Usually when we hold people here, you know for unpaid debt, rats, people who think they have more power than me, there’s like six guys on one.”

“Is that a jab at me?” You raise a brow and he shakes his head, “No, not at all. I’m trying to give you more power, but yet you’re being so stubborn and won’t fucking take it.”

“Because I have a life outside of this that I actually really didn’t mind living.”

He stares at you and you sigh, your voice low, “But I guess that doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“See, you’re catching on really quick.” He smirks, “Now, I have this gala coming up in a few days, and I would really like if you were my date.”

You almost choke on your food, “What?”

He nods, “Yeah, every year I like to have a party for my men, honor them for being such proactive and honorable men.” He shrugs, “No big deal or anything.”

“And you want me.. to accompany you.. why?” You tilt your head and he shrugs, “Think of it as a trial run for our future.”

“You’re speaking like you already have it planned.”

“That such a bad thing?”

You furrow your brows, “That’s weird.”

He brushes off your words, “What other questions do you have for me?” You straighten up, “Where is Myles?”

“Your in ear personnel?” Chris smirks, “He got out, but in our defense, we were only focused on you that night.” He laughs, “Did you also take notice that you were the only person who wasn’t checked by security? I mean, for being one of the top spies in the world, you sure were stupid that night.”

“How is you sitting there calling me names going to make your luck with me any better?” You tilt your head and he shrugs, “I’m just calling it like I see it, ma.”

“Right.. okay.” You crumple up your bag and toss it at him, “Did Nick ask you about clothes?” He stands up, “Follow me.”

He walks over to the door and opens it, stopping when he notices you’re standing still, “I’m not going to hurt you, y/n. Now come on, please?”

You sigh, walking over to him and he lays his hand on your waist but you brush it off, “I’m not going to run.”

“I didn’t think you were.”

You scoff and follow him up the steps. You make it to another set of stairs and soon you reach a bedroom.

“I figured you’d want out of that dungeon, as you called it, so here.” He motions to the room and you shake your head, “You’re giving me my own room?”

“I want you to be comfortable while you’re here.” Chris smiles, “And before you try, you’re not going to be able to open any of the windows.”

“Why am I not surprised.” You glance at him and he walks over to you, “just think, if you make the right choice, you can have windows that open.”

He winks and walks towards the door, “Get changed, relax. I’m next door if you need anything.”

Next door, you think, how convenient.

“Thanks.” You mumble, letting out a sigh as you turn to walk over towards the closet. Your jaw hits the floor when you see the spacious wall in, filled top to bottom in clothes.

It had you questioning, does chris have another woman? Other women?

“I know what you’re thinking.” Nick’s voice startles you a bit, “Sorry, I thought you heard me knock.”

You shake your head, “No, I didn’t. But what am I thinking?” You turn around, leaning on the wall as Nick walks over, “Lot of clothes just lying around for one new girl right?”

“Something like that.” You glance back into the closet, “Did he just have them lying around, or.. do they belong to another woman, or women?”

“Brand new. He sent out a few guys to get stuff earlier today.” He sighs, “Did you make a choice yet?”

You didn’t know how to answer that, on one hand, you had your life and you wanted to go back to it, but on the other hand, you were torn. You seen where chris was coming from, and he already knew everything about you.

“I don’t know.” You shake your head, “I’m just.. confused by everything? Like this- I never pictured myself in a situation like this.”

“Yeah, it’s not everyday that people picture getting taken hostage by the Sturniolo Mafia.” He lets out a slight laugh, “It’s not funny but-“

“No.” You laugh, “It’s hilarious actually. I know how dangerous you guys are, and I know I should be scared but yet, there is one tiny part in me that knows I’m safe.”

He nods, “Chris made it clear that you’re not an enemy and even though it’s hard for you to see it, neither are we.”

“He asked me to go to a gala with him. One to celebrate you guys, I guess.” You shrug, “I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

“You think your team will find you?” Nick asks and you nod, “They’ve probably been non stop trying since you picked me up.”

“It all comes down to you, y/n. You can fight your way out, which, I can tell you it won’t end well, or you can join us. If it means anything, I think you’d help out greatly.”

You smirk, “I don’t understand what’s so special about me. I’m a professional business invader.”

“And that’s why. You can help us get ahead on so many things. You’re just.. perfect in every aspect.” Nick looks around and you laugh, “does he send you in here because he knows we’re cool like this?”

He laughs, “Yes and no. I come in because I genuinely like you as a person and I think we’d be great friends, but Chris is my brother and I also think you’d be great with him, so hold it against me if you want, but I’m playing for both teams, you know?”

“I like how honest you are, Nick. Thank you.” You smile and he nods, “Think about it. I’m serious. We’d keep you safe, everyone is afraid of us.”

You nod, “Is there a bathroom where I can shower?”

“Grab your stuff, follow me.”

Nick leads you to a bathroom that’s like four masters put together. This place was huge. You walk over, turning on the tub and you plug the drain.

You finally get out of your uncomfortable gown from the mission that failed and step into the hot water. You let out a sigh as you settle in, taking a deep breath as you just close your eyes and picture yourself anywhere other than here.

But what’s weird, is that you picture being with chris.

You snap your eyes open, slowly looking around. You let out a sigh as you settled back in, trying to think of anything other than what chris offered, but it’s haunting you.

Or you’re trying to convince yourself, one or the other.

“Fuck.” You whisper, running your hands over your face, “okay.”

You stared up at the ceiling, your mind running ten miles a minute as you weighed the pros and cons of this contact, deal bullshit.

Outside of here, you were living secret lives, multiple identities, wigs, makeup, catching flights non stop. You love what you do, but it can just get exhausting, especially being the only one who can execute a job perfectly.

But, in here. You’re just, y/n, and it’s almost like it’s a breath of fresh air that you’ve been dying to get.

You didn’t want to go against your team, but maybe if they didn’t treat you the way they did most times, like an animal with a go pro, the choice wouldn’t become as easy as it is.

──⋅── 𝕊 ──⋅──

After dressing, you opened the door, looking out to see two men standing on either side of the door.

“Y/n.” The one nods and you furrow your brows, “Mr. Security man.” You shake your head and walk down the hall.

“Hey.” Chris says as he comes to a stop at the top of the stairs, “I see Nick showed you where the bathroom is.”

You nod, “Yeah, he did.” You tilt your head, “Can we.. um, talk in your office, or somewhere?” He nods, “Yeah, yeah. Come on.” He walks up to you, leading you towards his office, “Right in here.” He motions and you walk in, “Thanks.”

“You know, for someone who isn’t sure about this, you’ve become very polite.” Chris chuckles as he closes the door and you sigh, “Yeah, I mean.. maybe I’m starting to understand that I’m not an enemy.”

You look at him and he nods, “I can see Nick has been talking to you, as well.”

You nod, “You’re not going to punish him for that, are you?”

Chris scoffs, “Why would I punish one of my best guys for trying to help me?” He furrows his brows, “That would just be cruel.” He sits down on the front of his desk, motioning for you to sit in front of him, “What would you like to talk about?”

“That contract.” You look up at him as you sit down, “I need to know a few things before I literally sign my life away.”

“Anything you want, sweetheart.” He smiles, walking around to sit at his desk, “What are you list of demands?”

“I’m not just someone you can control.” You start, “I don’t want anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do. If I’m going to be with you-“ you pause as Chris snaps his head up to look up at you, “So you’ve been thinking about it?”

You nod, “I’ve been thinking about it.” You shift in your seat, “Here.. I’m just, y/n.” He nods as you continue, “Out there, I was fifteen different people and I just- what I’m trying to say is that I am my own person, Chris.”

“Of course you are. Our conversation earlier got a little out of hand.” He chuckles, “And if you didn’t almost put scissors in my neck, we would have been able to talk like we are right now.”

“It’s- you brought up my father, and that’s a touchy subject.”

He nods, “My apologies on that one.” He clears his throat, “So, you’re your own person, no fake identities, no missions you yourself do not want to do. What else?”

“If..” you take a deep breath, “If I attend this gala with you, I need to know I’m going to be protected.”

“I think you and I both know that that isn’t even a question.” He raises his brows, “I almost knock Matt on his ass for ripping your arms like he did when we first met. The only reason why I didn’t, was because I had my own image to uphold. I couldn’t take the side of a spy until we got her here and seen what she would try to do.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

Chris leans forward, “As long as you’re with me, y/n. Nothing and nobody will ever hurt you ever again.”

You stare at him, “Is that a promise?”

“For as long as I live.” He nods, “Once your name is next to mine, you’re top dog, just like me.”

You chew on your lip, “I just-“

“I know, you have your doubts, sweetheart. But I promise, I’ll give you everything and anything.” He stands up, walking around to kneel before you. He holds his hand out and you slowly lay your hand into his.

You couldn’t explain what or why it was happening, but you didn’t dislike it.

He gives it a squeeze, “I know, the way we met wasn’t ethical, but I promise, I’ll spend everyday making up for it, making you feel comfortable and safe with me.”

You give him a nod, taking your hand from his and leaning forward to reach around him to grab a pen from the cup.

His face was dangerously close to yours, if you turned, your lips would be on his, and a part of you wanted to turn.

You leaned back slowly, turning to look into his eyes, “Where do I sign?”

He gives you a big smile, and my god was it beautiful.

He gets up, walking around his desk to push the piece of paper across the dark colored surface. He drags his finger from his name in cursive, to the blank line next to it, “Right here, sweetheart.”

You take a breath, leaning forward. The tip of the pen hovers over the blank space a few seconds before pressing onto the paper.

You signed your name.

“So..” you look up at Chris, “Now what?”

“Welcome to the family, y/n.” He smiles, extending his hand out to you. You stand up, taking his hand into yours and he brings it up to his lips.

He presses a few kisses onto your knuckles before looking up at you, “It’s an honor to have you.”

──⋅── 𝕊 ──⋅──

Over the last few days, Chris has been showing you around the property, telling you where everything is and who everyone was.

At night, you found yourself lying awake, staring out the window as you thought about whether this was a huge mistake or not. But along with getting shown everything, you’ve been finding yourself growing closer to Chris, rather quickly at that.

The more you seen, the more safe you felt with him.

It was three am, the morning of the Gala and you kept tossing and turning.

“If you need anything, I’m right next door.”

Chris’ reminder rang in your ears and it’s like your legs had a mind of their own because they kicked the blankets off of your body and you were up and out of bed, making your way to your door.

You slowly opened it, peaking out before stepping out and closing it behind you. You walked over to Chris’ door, gently knocking a few times.

You stepped back, picking at your nails as you awaited the opening of the big door before you. You gave it a few seconds and right when you were about to knock again, it opened, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Your eyes scanned up Chris’ bare torso as they made their way to his eyes, “I, um. Can’t sleep.”

He extends his arm out, “Come here.” You walk in, leaning into his body as it wraps around you. He pushes the door closed and walks you to the bed, “What’s going on?”

You shrug, sitting on, “I just can’t sleep, I think I’m nervous about tonight, I don’t know.”

“Here.” He points to his bed, “You can sleep in here if you think that’ll help.”

You nod, moving up the bed as he gets back into it. He pulls the blankets up, “Are you worried about your past coming to try and pull you back in?”

You let out a small sigh, “Can I be honest?”

“Please.”

“I’ve never..” you shift around, “I’ve never been on this side of the darkness before.”

“The darkness?” He chuckles quietly, “What do you mean?”

“I-I don’t..” you sigh, “Sorry, that sounded I didn’t-“ you stop talking as his hand slides over your waist, “Come over here before you fall off the edge of the bed.”

You let out a laugh, “Sorry I-“

“Hey.” He slides his hand up to your shoulder, his voice low in your ear, “You don’t ever have to be sorry to me, you got that?”

“Yes, Chris.” You nod, turning your head slightly, “When I meant the darkness, I just, meant-“

“A part of a mafia? You’ve always been on the outside looking in, never the inside looking out.” He finds the words that you can’t and you nod, “Exactly.”

He moves closer to you, tightening his arm around your waist, “I mean everything I tell you. I won’t hide any bullshit from you. If I’m killing a man, chances are you’ll be the first to know.”

You don’t know what to say. Even though you know what this is, it’s like you were this lost puppy that he was caring for and everything was new to you.

“We’re in this together now, y/n.” He whispers, “Even if everything between us isn’t official, I got you. And I know, that when the time comes, you got me.”

The words fly right out of your mouth, “I got you.”

He presses a kiss to your head and takes a deep breath, “Rest, sweetheart. We have a big night tonight.”

And just like that, you were out like a light.

The sunlight peaking through the window causes you to stir around. Chris’ low morning voice is what causes you to wake up, “Good morning.”

Your eyes flutter open and you give him a smile, “Good morning.”

“Did you sleep good?” He asks as he rolls over to face you, “you look rested.”

You nod, “Yeah, actually. That’s the best nights sleep I’ve had in I can’t tell you how long.” He smiles, “Well, if you want. You can call this your room from now on, and your old room can just be your closet.”

You laugh, “Sorry, that’s just.. I’ve never had, that, before.”

“Everything is still new. It’ll get easier by the day.” He sits up, “I have some dresses coming for you tonight, you can pick whatever one you like.”

You sit up, running a hand through your hair, “Thank you.” You smile at him and he gives you a nod, “No problem.”

“Wait.” You reach out, grabbing onto his arm as he goes to get up. He stops, glancing down at your hand before looking up at you, “What is it, baby?”

Your heart skips a beat and starts thumping louder and louder as you lean in. He doesn’t move, he waits for you to press your lips to his before kissing back.

He smirks as you lean away, “What was that for?”

You shrug, “Figured I’d try another new thing.”

He smiles, “Can you do that again?” He raises his brows, “if you want to.” You nod, swallowing before leaning in to press your lips to his.

“You know, you’re pretty nice for a Mafia leader.” You smirk, leaning back to look at him as he shrugs with a smile, “I’m only nice to those I really, really like.”

“I tried to bust you, and yet-“

“Let’s not talk about that, okay?” He reaches out, “We can talk about that later. Right now, I’m going to go make sure everything is set for tonight, you go down. Meet Nick, get some breakfast, and I’ll be on my office if you need me.”

His eyes bounce from your lips to your eyes and you smile, “You don’t have to ask, Chris.” He leans in as soon as your words are done and presses a few kisses to your lips, “I love doing that.”

You smile, “Yeah, it’s nicer than I thought.”

He rolls his eyes, “Yeah, okay.” He laughs and gets up, throwing on a sweatshirt, “You know where to find me.”

You nod, “That I do.” You get up after he leaves and you can’t help but look around his room. You found a few guns in hidden places, but to your surprise, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

As you make your way out of Chris’ room, you stop when you see Matt walking down the hall.

You look around and sigh as he walks up to you, “Hey, y/n.”

“Matt.” You look at him and he sighs, “Sorry for being such a dick. You were an enemy at the time and I usually don’t do very well with that label, but now since you’re-“ he motions to Chris’ office, “I owe you an apology.”

You nod, “Well, thank you. Oh.” You point, “Just so you know, I was out of those cuffs as soon as you put me in the car.”

He smirks, “Yeah, Chris told me but I don’t like to listen.”

You raise your brows, “Definitely noted.” You laugh as you walk away, meeting Nick downstairs and you talk to him over breakfast. You mainly fill him on how your night was, and how even though you already knew a lot prior to this, you feel closer to Chris, and he raises his brows.

You stop, “What’s that look for?”

He smirks, shaking his head, “Nothing, it’s just.. I’ve known Chris all my life, we were brought up in this business, and I’ve never seen him act this way over anyone before.”

“What way do you mean?”

“Okay, so. There was one other girl before you, and let’s just say, he smiles more around you in a day than he did with her in the few months she was here.”

“What-“

He shakes his head and you raise your brows, “Got it.”

“For whatever reason, Chris was drawn to you the second we got you on our radar. That’s not something to take lightly. Even though he might not look it. He’s a very serious person and-“

Yelling from upstairs catches both or your attentions.

It makes your heart race.

You stand up, “should we-“ Nick grabs your arm, “No, just let it blow over. Someone must have got something wrong about tonight, I’ll go. You stay here.”

You watch as Nick leaves the dining room and you can’t help but to walk over to the door, trying to see if you can hear anything.

“They should have been here a fucking hour ago!” Chris yells, “What’s so fucking hard about making something this goddamn simple, work?!”

You raise your brows, Chris getting mad was oddly intriguing.

“They’re dresses for tonight. For her. I said I wanted everything to be perfect, so that’s what it should be, correct?!”

Chris getting defensive over something for you, wasn’t oddly intriguing.

It was hot. No one has ever gotten like that over you before. Maybe you did make the right choice?

You see him walk over to the steps, stopping when he sees you standing in the entryway, “Fuck, baby. I’m sorry.” You shake your head, a smirk resting on your lips. He tilts his head, giving you a smirk back before turning around and walking away.

After some time, Nick and Chris walk down and Chris walks over to you, “Come with me.” He takes your hand and leads you into a large living area, “Here are your picks for tonight.”

Your jaw drops at the gorgeous gowns in front of you, “Oh.. my god.” You look at Chris, “These.. these are beautiful.”

“Completely opposite of the one you were wearing the other night.” Chris lays a hand on your back, “Take all the time you need, try them on, figure out which one you like best.”

“I just hope they’re comfier than the one I was wearing the other night.” You laugh slightly as you walk up to the gowns.

“You still looked breathtaking though, even in a cheap gown like that one.” Chris chuckles as you smile at him, “Hey, I thought that gown was pretty at the time.”

“Then it was pretty at the time.” He smiles, “I have a meeting to run here in a little, if you want we can meet after and I can fill you in?”

You nod, “Yeah, sounds good.” You point to the dresses, “I think I’m going to take these up and try them on.”

“I’ll get someone to do it for you.” Chris goes to turn but you stop him, “I can get them. Don’t bug anyone.”

“You’re sure?” He raises his brows and you nod, “Yes, I’m capable.”

“Okay.” He walks up, pecking hour cheek, “See you in a bit.” You smile as he walks away and you grab the dresses, making your way up to your room now closet.

You spend time trying each dress on, taking a good look at each one before changing back into your clothes.

There’s a knock on the door and you turn, “Come in.”

Chris walks in and closes the door, “Pick a dress?” You nod, “I do believe I did.” You look from him to the dresses and back to him as he walks up, “Well, don’t tell me. I want to be surprised.”

He cups your cheeks, pulling you in for a kiss, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” You nod, “I’m good.”

“That meeting was about who’s coming tonight, well, we already know who’s coming, but it was for the special guests.”

You tilt your head, “Are you talking about people from my-“

“Yes” he cuts you off, “So tonight, I’m going to need you to identify them for me. Can you do that?” His thumb gently move over your cheeks and you nod, “I can do that.”

“Good.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, “Do you need anything, have any questions?”

“Who’s going to be with me tonight?”

He chuckles, “Me, of course. I’m not leaving your side.”

You nod, “Okay.” Your hands slide down his sides and he pulls you into his body, wrapping his arms around you, “I got you, baby.”

You were nervous. Tonight was the night that really sealed the deal.

“I’m a little nervous.” You admit, “Mainly because I don’t want to see anyone, especially you, get hurt.” He smiles, “I can handle myself.”

“I know, but I just-“

“Hey. Everything is going to be okay.” He assures, “I promise, and if it’s not. You’re the first person I’m getting out of there.”

──⋅── 𝕊 ──⋅──

It took you longer than you thought to get ready.

There were so many choices of earrings, bracelets, necklaces and shoes to choose from. One thing went with one but not the rest, you were stressing because you wanted to look your absolute best and not like you were a nervous wreck.

You were scared of how you’d react if you seen someone you once knew get hurt, or even worse, how you’d react if Chris, or anyone from his family got hurt.

There was a knock on the door and Nick peaks his head in, “Cars are leaving in five.” He raises his brows as you stand up, “Wow, look at you.”

You smile slightly, “Is it too much?”

He shakes his head, “Not at all.” He smirks, “That’s the dress Chris was hoping you’d pick. Looks like you two have the same tastes in fashion.”

You look down, running your hands over the satin fabric, “Yeah, I guess we do.”

“Isn’t it crazy how much you guys know about each other but yet, everything still feels brand new?”

You look up at him, “I was thinking that earlier.” You laugh, “As crazy as it seems, I feel like this is what I was meant to do.”

“Crazy how shit works out, huh?” He motions, “Alright, come on. I’ll go tell him you’re coming down.” He leaves and you make sure you have everything before walking out and heading towards the steps.

You take a deep breath as you reach them, the small train of your black backless dress trailing behind you as you slowly walk down.

Chris’ eyes were on you the second he could see you, and they haven’t left.

He walks to meet you at the bottom, holding out his hand, “Look at you. You look absolutely beautiful, sweetheart.”

“Thank you.” You smile, “You look good in a suit.”

He shrugs with a laugh, “I tried.”

“Ready?” Matt walks in and Nick nods, looking at you, “Ready?” You take a deep breath and nod, “Let’s go celebrate.”

Chris leads you out to the middle car, opening your door for you and allowing you to get in before walking around to get in himself.

He takes your hand in his and shakes his head, “I was hoping you’d pick that dress.”

You smile, “That’s what Nick said. I guess we have the same sense of fashion, huh?” You laugh as he nods, “I can’t get over how beautiful you look, fuck.”

You can feel your cheeks darkening, “Thank you, baby.”

He smirks, “Baby, huh?”

You roll your eyes with a smile, “Don’t push it.”

“You got it.” He gives your hand a squeeze and he rests his head back, “I just have to ask one more time, you’re sure about tonight? I can take you home and-“

You cut him off, “Over the last few days, you have shown me so much more love than I’ve ever received in my lifetime.” You reach up to cup his cheek, “I feel like I’m where I belong, Chris.”

He smiles, nodding his head, “I’m happy to hear that.”

You rest your head back against the headrest, “You might have to kill them tonight.”

“I’m fine with that.” Chris nods, “Do you think they’ll try anything?”

“They’d be stupid to, especially in a place that’s filled with mafia members.” You look over at him, “They’ll probably try and get me alone, ask me what I’m doing.”

“You’re not going anywhere without me.” Chris squeezes your hand, “absolutely no where.”

You squeeze his hand back, “I didn’t say I was.”

“No, baby. I know.” He sighs, “Sorry I-“

“We’re here, boss.”

“Okay. Just, give us a minute.” Chris looks from the driver to you, “I feel like I’ve waited forever for the perfect person and now that I have you I just-“

You shut him up with a kiss, “We’re going to be fine.”

He nods, “Whatever you say.” He smiles and reaches up to pinch your chin gently, “Move over here when I get out.” You nod, sliding across the seat and stepping out.

All eyes were on you.

“Just follow me, sweetheart.” He links his arm with yours and guides you inside. Your eyes scan the beautifully decorated venue, “You did good.” He smiles down at you, “Thank you, I’m glad you think so.”

He leads you up to the steps and over to the center to look out over the guests flowing in.

You were on high alert, your eyes scanning over each face in the crowd twice just to make sure. You give Chris’ hand a squeeze, your eyes staying on the man walking through the crowd, “There’s one. Moving towards Matt.”

Chris looks at the guy beside you and he speaks to Matt through his earpiece, “One moving towards you, Matt. Roughly five six. Dark hair. Sunglasses on top of his head.”

“That’s Drenco.” You look back at the guard and he nods, “Says his name is Drenco.”

You watch as Matt moves towards him, but your attention is taken away from him and moved to another familiar face, “Chris.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Another. Twelve o’clock. Just walked in the doors. Henries.” You look over at him and the guard next to Chris radio’s it in to the one by the door, “Guy that just walked in, six one. Blonde hair. Name is Henries.”

“Two down. Two to go.” Chris mumbles as he glances over at you, “You doing okay?” You look at him, “I think I need a drink.”

He nods, “Come with me.” He stands up, not letting go of your hand as you rise from your seat. You walk down the hall and stop when Myles pops out from the side door, grabbing Chris from behind, “The fuck are you doing, y/n?”

Chris goes to reach for his gun, but Myles pressed the barrel of the gun go his temple, “Don’t even think about it.” The men who were with you walk up beside you and Chris, guns drawn.

“I’m going to need you to let him go. Now.”

You stay silent and he asks again, “You’re really going to do this? Fuck over the people who trained you? Protected you?”

He walks back through the door, dragging Chris with him. You were instantly pissed the second he grabbed him, “Let him go, Myles.”

“We have been searching and searching for you, y/n, and here you are, getting into bed with the most dangerous person in this city.” He motions to Chris with the gun and Chris scoffs, “Hey. We haven’t gotten that far yet, alright? And it’s pretty disrespectful that you’d come up into my party waving around a gun, like come on.”

“You need to leave.” You speak up, “If you don’t leave on your own, you’ll leave on theirs.”

“Nah, baby. These are your terms now.” Chris glances at you and you nod, glancing at the guy beside you, “Let him go.”

Myles laughs and shakes his head, “Oh this is just perfect.”

You step closer, “I said, let him go.”

Myles points the gun at you, but Chris quickly knocks it upward, turning to land a punch to his face. Myles is quick, he kicks Chris back and you move up, attempting to fight back, but Myles is still stronger than you.

He pushes you behind him and that’s when the two men step in, attempting to disarm him, but Myles ends up knocking out the one, and disarming the other. He goes to grab you but Chris steps forward, “Don’t you fucking touch her.”

Myles reaches back, quickly pulling out a backup gun and aiming it at Chris, “She doesn’t belong to you assholes, now get the fuck down.” He points the gun to the floor and Chris looks at you.

You nod, moving your eyes to a gun that’s right in front of you.

He nods once and starts to get down on his knees, hands on his head. Myles takes a step closer to Chris, “You and your pathetic family are all going to burn in hell.” He cocks his arm back, connecting his fist with Chris cheek.

Chris groans and you feel a fire burn inside of you, one you haven’t ever felt before.

You immediately went into action.

You dropped down, swiping the legs of Myles out from under him while grabbing the gun as you stood up. You didn’t hesitate with aiming the gun at Myles and pulling the trigger before he could even think about searching for his that was no longer in his hand.

You drop the gun, looking at Chris and he stands up, lunging towards you. His arms wrap tightly around your waist as he backs you up towards the wall, “Are you okay? are you okay?” He leans back, running his hands over your cheeks, “You’re good?”

“Yes. I’m good. I’m good.” You nod, “I told you I got you.”

He smiles, planting his lips on yours, “I know, baby.” He kisses you a few more times before moving to the man that was knocked out, “Kev. Kev. You with me buddy?”

He nods, groaning as he sits up, “Fucker was quick.”

“Not quick enough.” The other man chuckles, “Nice work, y/n.” He nods at you and you smile, “Thanks. Are you okay?”

He nods, “Yeah, thank you.”

Chris stands up and wraps his arm around your waist, “You guys got this?” You watch as they nod and Matt comes in through the door, “We got two down stairs.” He leans around, “Whoa. Who did that?”

“Y/n.” Chris says with a proud smirk.

Matt raises his brows, nodding in approval, “Remind me to never piss you off again.”

You laugh slightly, “Got it. Um, there should be one more. You said there was four, right?” You look at Chris and he nods, “Yeah, but let’s go get you that drink now, I think you’ve earned it.”

You smile and follow him and Matt out. As you’re gazing over the crowd as you walk towards the steps, you come to a stop, your heart sinking into your stomach.

“What? What is it, baby?” Chris moves to stand next to you and you shake your head in disbelief, “That-“ you look at Chris, “My father is here.”

──⋅── 𝕊 ──⋅──

This is my first Mafia fic, so please don’t judge me too hard. Thank you so much for reading! I love you all so much! Catch you in the next one!

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[cowboyemeritus]

this is a weird one chat I won’t lie

cw: mild gore, sexual content, discussion of self harm and suicide

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was…” How long has it been? The fact that you even have to ask yourself that only makes the well of shame burn in your belly that much hotter.

You’re already choking. So much for thinking this would be easy.

“It was,” a gentle, tenor voice prompts from the other side of the screen. You raise an eyebrow, expecting the gruff baritone of Father Myles. From your knees, you can just barely make out a silhouette through the lattice, but it’s nothing more than an indistinct blob of shadows. You swallow down a nervous lump, knowing the man’s identity doesn’t really matter; he’s a stand-in for something much, much greater.

“A month ago?” Already, your cheeks are burning. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.” The Father is silent; it takes you a moment to remember you’re supposed to be talking. “These are my sins…” You let out a long sigh, knowing you need to spit it out already. Repeating the sign of the Cross and clutching your rosary a little tighter helps settle your nerves. “I’m- I just feel uncertain, is all.”

“You are having doubts?” Something about his words, though spoken so softly, cuts through to your very center. Who is this man? A visitor to the monastery? A friend of Father Myles?

“I-��� No use obfuscating. He has already read your heart. “Yes, Father.”

“I see.” You hear a page turning, then the clicking of a pen. “And why do you feel this way?” The question has the anxiety bubbling up in your stomach again. Your palms clam up, muscles locking. You shake your head, a quiet voice screaming at you to abort! abort! abort!

“I’m like Thomas,” you mutter. “I have to see the nail marks. I have to put my hand into His side and feel the wound myself.” What would His flesh be like beneath your curious fingertips? Would it be cold to the touch, dusty from the Sepulcher, or would it be as warm and supple as it was on the Cross? “I want to believe.”

“Of course you do.” More pages turning. “But ‘blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’” You want to roll your eyes. Even Father Myles could do better than that.

“I know.”

“Belief seldom comes easily, but it is always a worthy pursuit. Remember Peter, who despite his unbelief was able to walk across water.”

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

“I remember, Father.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.” You suspect he knows this is a lie, but he says nothing. “For these and all of my sins, I am truly sorry.”

You’re not going to back out this time. You told yourself you wouldn’t, and trying to ignore the problem had only made it worse.

“What troubles you today?” The stranger again. He asks not in the what could you possibly want this time way that Father Myles does, but in a manner that tells you he truly wants to listen, that he really cares.

It’s refreshing.

“I lied to you, Father.” You sigh, twisting your rosary around one finger. The tip begins to turn a purplish-red. “The last time I was here, I had more to confess, but…” Your throat feels tight, squeezed shut by an invisible hand. Already, your eyes sting with forthcoming tears. You feel weak, filthy, like a little bug. “It’s too shameful.”

“There is no shame here,” the man states. “Only truth.”

What an odd thing to say.

“Speak, my child.”

“I can’t.” You’re hair’s breadth away from turning tail again. “I-”

“‘If we confess our sins,’” he interjects, “‘he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’” Though he doesn’t raise his voice at you, his words carry commanding power like that of an emperor. Before you can stop yourself, your lips are moving, his melodic timbre bidding you speak, cementing you in place so that you can’t possibly run away.

“I’m been having thoughts, Father.” You swallow, feeling heat creep into your flesh at the mere mention of your problem. “Impure ones.”

The mysterious priest hums in acknowledgement. It’s a rich, sweet sound, like honey. “What are the nature of these thoughts?” You bite your lip, parsing out your next words carefully.

“Lustful,” you admit. “Mostly.”

“Lustful…” There’s something a little less tender in the way he says it. “Are these thoughts about someone in particular?”

“Not really.” Now that you’ve gotten the ball rolling, the rest comes easier. “Just about what it would be like to be with another person. Touching, being touched; what it would feel like to…” You suck in a harsh breath, trying to fight the warmth building deep in your abdomen, the tingling sensation blooming between your legs. “To-”

To be taken?

“Excuse me?”

“I said nothing.” You can hear pen on paper. Dear Lord, he’s taking notes. “Please, continue.”

There’s a fogginess in your head, like the booth is filled with smoke. You clap your hands against your cheeks, trying to wake yourself up. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“These are not the only thoughts you’re having?” Your head comes to rest against the wall, producing a small thump. You just had to go and open your mouth…

“No.”

“Then, what else?”

“I’m wrathful, Father.”

“Why?”

This gives you pause. You hadn’t really considered it until now, just felt the rage and then the shame that came with it. “I don’t know.” Your gaze wanders to the curtain, covetously eyeing the sliver of afternoon light peeking out from under it. “Probably because I’m stuck in here, when I could be out there, doing anything else.” Realizing what you’ve just said, you clap your hands over your mouth. Your rosary falls to the floor, beads drumming against the carpet. “I’m sorry,” you sputter, “I didn’t mean-”

“This is a life that demands personal sacrifice,” the Father says, silencing you. “You’re not the first person to feel this way, and you won’t be the last.”

“But I love Him,” you mutter, pulling a loose thread from your habit. “I thought it would be easy.”

“My child, nothing in life is easy.”

In your dream, the halls of the monastery are labyrinthine — twisting, winding, and seemingly endless. The shadows bend and warp, morphing into terrible, monstrous shapes. As you run by their clawed hands reach for you, grabbing and scratching at your ankles. One manages to get a grip and pulls you down to meet the cold marble floor, knocking the wind out of you. As you lay there, coughing and gasping for air, your eyes fall upon your assailant. In an instant, the shadow changes, shifting and bubbling until it coalesces into the familiar figure of Sister Felicity, who always has a kind word. Relief washes over you, and you extend a hand, begging for her to help you up. She just scowls.

“Sinner!” Her words are like a knife, gouging a hole in your chest. Confused and scared, you scoot backwards on the cold floor, trying to get away. When you make contact with a hard body, you look up and find the imposing figure of Brother Jeremiah looming over you.

“Blasphemer!” All around you, the dark figures transform into your Brothers and Sisters. They gnash their teeth at you, hurling insults. With a cry, you scramble to your feet, but only make it a few paces before you slam into another one of the creatures. To your utter horror, his one has the face of Father Myles, his normally indifferent deadpan plastered over with a fury that makes your blood run cold. He holds up a notebook, and despite your fear a deep sense of humiliation creeps in.

Scrawled on the pages in red ink are the words “DOUBTS” and “LUSTFUL.”

“Whore!”

The creatures begin to laugh. Their mocking chorus is amplified as it bounces off the vaulted ceiling, quickly becoming so loud that it shakes the whole building. Your ears scream, the pain splitting your skull as you run, not caring where you go as long as it’s away from this dreadful place. The creatures tear at you, their claws shredding your habit so that it falls away, leaving you naked and covered in stinging, bleeding cuts.

You blink, and find yourself in the chapel. It’s quiet and deathly still. Despite the late hour, a censer burns in the corner, the aroma of frankincense heavy in the musty air. The candles are still lit, casting the ancient space in a pale, orange glow.

“Lord, help me.” Your legs finally give out as you collapse in a sobbing heap before the altar. The air feels thin, like you’re on top of a mountain, and though you gulp it down like water, your head won’t stop spinning. “Why is this happening?”

A cold, forceful gust of wind blows through the room. You look up, expecting more of the awful creatures, but find that you are still alone. Candles extinguished, the room is cast in darkness, the shadows still and monolithic. Heaving a sigh of relief, you wipe away the tears streaming down your face. Maybe He can hear you after all.

Outside, the clouds part. The full moon shines in through the stained glass, bathing the chamber in a kaleidoscope of color. Mesmerized, you follow a beam of silver light across the room to where it lands on the confessional. The curtain is pulled back, though the inside is nothing but a black void.

You feel compelled to throw yourself into it.

Slowly, you rise to your feet. Your gait is jerky, oddly stiff as you stalk over to the booth, like your movements aren’t your own. As you approach a sense of dread overtakes you, a voice in your head screaming at you to run, to resist. Something terrible lurks in the inky blackness, waiting to swallow you whole.

Confess, the darkness calls. It has a soft, gentle voice, like that of an angel. Try as you might, you can’t possibly break the spell it has cast.

Suddenly, you’re on your knees, enveloped in the pitch black of the booth. The walls are closing in. You reach for the curtain but find only a hard wood panel. Screaming until you can’t, you’re stuck, kneeling as the breath is squeezed out of your lungs, your bones cracking and breaking. It’s agony, and even as the darkness consumes you, every nerve is on fire. In your last moments, you’re able to muster the strength to look up at the screen, desperately searching for proof that you’re not alone in death.

“Forgive me, Father,” you choke, vision fading.

A shadowy figure watches your suffering from the other side of the lattice. In one hollow socket, an eye glows ghastly white.

I cannot, my dear.

“They won’t stop,” you groan. “The thoughts, the dreams; they won’t leave me alone.”

“I imagine that is quite… distressing.” A severe understatement.

“I don’t know what to do.” The tears are coming back. “I’ve been praying, asking God for help, but it only gets worse.” A single droplet slides down your cheek, dripping onto your leg. You draw in a breath, readying yourself for the next admission. “I want to hurt people.”

The Father is silent, and for a moment, you fear he’s fled. “Who?”

“My Brothers and Sisters, Father Myles... Myself.” Your rosary hangs around your neck and you pull on it hard, feeling the beads dig into your skin. “Every day, I have to sit there and watch them judge me. They can see I’m a sinner, but no one will help me. I know I shouldn’t, but I hate them. I hate all of them.”

Not him, though.

“What do you want to do to them?” Your eyes screw shut, feeling the shame gnaw at the inside of your stomach.

“I just wanted to hit them at first. Punch them, kick them. But now…” The sobbing begins again.

“Now, what? Tell me.”

You let out a wail. “I crave blood, Father! I want to feel it, taste it, paint this whole place with it.” Collapsing forward, your fingers twist into your hair, nails digging into your scalp. “I’m so afraid. Why is God doing this to me?”

“His will is beyond human comprehension,” he says. “Job was an upright man, and yet his sufferings were endless.”

A node of something — anger? — forms in your chest. “You think He’s testing me?”

“It is not my place to-”

“What did I do to deserve this? What reason did I give Him to doubt my faith?”

“Be strong, and-”

“He wants me to fail!” You let out a few sobs, wishing you could take back your words. Your skin crawls, knowing He’s watching. “I didn’t mean that.”

The Father sighs. “It’s clear you are under a lot of stress. Humble yourself before Him, and He will give you the strength to overcome this.” You can hear him scrawling something in his notebook. “One hundred Hail Marys, and reflect on the blessings the Heavenly Father has bestowed upon you. What the Lord gives, he can also take away.”

Why you thought he was different, you don’t know.

You gasp, jolting upright. Your skin is dewy with cold sweat, your mouth dry.

Another night, another horrible dream.

With a groan, you pull yourself out of bed. It’s a short walk to the washroom, but your muscles, your very bones, ache with fatigue. Returning to sleep, though, will be nigh impossible. The next best thing, you’ve come to learn, is to rise off the stickiness so you can at least lay comfortably in your bed until it’s time to get up for Prime.

You shower quickly, still making an effort to not be wasteful. The feeling of eyes on you, lingering from the dream, helps. It’s as you’re toweling off, trying not to think about your chores for the day, that you catch a red stain on the off-white linen. Confused, you unfurl the towel, finding it covered in splotches of crimson.

Then — only then — do you notice the wounds on your hands. Through the deep gouges, you can see that your feet bear similar marks. Blood is smeared across the tile floor, leading from the door, to the shower, to the sink.

You cry out, whipping around to look in the mirror. Staring back is a vision of yourself in death, pale and emaciated. Your eyes are lifeless, the skin under them swollen and purple. Through cracked lips, your teeth are stained red, the taste of metal overpowering. There’s a twinge of pain in your side, and your heart stops when you see the deep, oozing gash between your ribs. You double over, retching into the sink. More blood issues forth, the droplets like rose petals against the porcelain.

“What’s happening to me?”

Overhead, the florescent lights flicker, and then shut off. The air grows frigid, your sallow skin breaking out in gooseflesh. Hacking up a clot of blood and tissue, the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as you become aware of a presence behind you. Your muscles lock up, fear penetrating to the very core of your being. You don’t want to look, but your body moves on its own, back straightening with a series of sickening pops and cracks.

By the light of that sinister white eye, you can just barely make out the vague, dark figure behind you. It towers above you, inhumanly so. You want to scream, to run, but you’re frozen in place, barely able to breathe. A chromatic, skeletal hand, gleaming in the low light, appears in the mirror, snaking over your shoulder to grasp you by the chin. The metal is so cold it burns, but the touch is delicate, as if afraid to break you. A tear spills over, cutting a trail down your cheek. The figure swipes it away with its thumb.

Do not be afraid.

The voice is at once comforting and hauntingly familiar, like an old lullaby. Though it chills you to the bone, you can’t help but hang on to every word, as if it were the key to your salvation. A second, cold hand finds your hip, though this time it sends a blissful sensation up your spine. You let out a pathetic noise, unable to control yourself, and the creature laughs.

“Save me,” you murmur, finding your voice.

It doesn’t answer, instead dragging its hand up your side, bony fingertips tracing the contours of your ribs. Your heart noticeably quickens as it approaches the wound, but with anticipation rather than fear. Slowly, it draws its index finger around the slit, relishing in the softness of the skin there. The pleasure is so intense your knees buckle, though the figure holds you upright. It’s otherworldly, like nothing you’ve ever felt before, and for a fleeting moment you have to wonder what good all these years of depriving yourself has really done.

That moment is over quickly. In a long, smooth motion, the metal appendage finds its home in your side. Your stomach flips, a moan wrenching itself out of you as blood pours from of the wound afresh, cascading down your body to pool at your feet.

“Save me,” you mewl, back arching as the shadow begins to pump its finger in and out. “Oh, save me, save me, save me…” You’re not sure what’s happening, but it feels like something is on the horizon; a tidal wave, coming to crash on your shore and wash everything away. This only encourages the mysterious specter, its pace increasing as it adds another digit.

Give in, is all the familiar voice says.

You snap awake. It’s like you’re falling, body convulsing with a frantic, wild energy. Rapturous. If you weren’t so certain of your damnation, you would think you had died and gone to Heaven.

The euphoria is quickly replaced by soul-crushing shame.

Tearing the sweat-soaked covers away, you take flight. Without thinking, your shaking legs carry you to the back corner of the chapel, and before you know it, you’re kneeling in the confessional, hands clasped tight. You try to speak, but only sobs come out.

“What’s wrong?” Of course it’s him, but at this hour? Your cheeks flush, finally realizing it had been that sweet, gentle voice that had brought you to the height of ecstasy mere moments before.

“I am damned, Father!” Then, more tears. The priest lets you cry until your throat is painfully tight and you think you might vomit. Once your sobs turn to whimpers, he speaks again.

“Tell me.”

You sniffle, gut twisting. Nevertheless, the words spill out like water. “My urges; I gave in.”

“And?” You know what he’s looking for. There’s no point in hiding it from him.

“I liked it.” Even now, you want more. “I’ll never be free of this, will I?”

“It is the nature of humankind,” the Father says. “You are only a prisoner if you allow yourself to be one.”

“No,” you whine, knocking your head against the wooden paneling a few times. “No, no, no!”

“You are at a crossroads. Will you live by your nature, or reject it?”

“I don’t know,” you whimper, snot dribbling down your chin. “Tell me what I should do.”

He hesitates. You can hear him let out a tense breath. “You have to decide for yourself.”

“Don’t make me.”

“You must!” A long, pregnant silence hangs over the booth, the same primordial terror you had felt in the dream gripping your very soul.

This man… No…

“Father,” you ask, “how do you know when God is speaking to you?” Grimacing, you pull on a thread of skin around one of your fingernails. “I’ve spent my whole life praying, worshipping, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt His presence.” A droplet of blood, like a ruby, begins to well up. “It is possible to be deaf to the voice of God? That’s what it feels like.” Without thinking, you stick the digit in your mouth, shuddering as the taste of iron coats your tongue. Realizing what you’ve done, you gasp, stomach churning with repulsion. Your breath starts to go ragged, fresh tears pricking in your eyes. “Father?”

“I cannot answer you, my dear, for I do not know.”

Something inside of you dies.

“‘The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.’”

Leaves crunch under your bare feet. Twigs snap and splinter, digging into your soles, but you hardly notice.

“‘He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul.’”

Between the trees, you can see the lake. The moon shimmers on the surface, the ripples like little silver fish. It calls to you.

“‘He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake.’”

You’re in no rush as you walk out onto the dock, though it’s so cold your fingers and toes are numb. Breathing deeply, you can still smell smoke on the night air. They’ll be coming for you soon. It steels your nerves, the last traces of doubt ebbing away.

“‘Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.’”

You look at your hands, covered in soot and dirt. Your fingernails are bitten to bloody stubs, cuticles picked away as if by carrion birds. They are sinful hands, once devoted to prayer but now are good for nothing but indulging in vice and doing the Devil’s work. With these hands, you have dragged yourself into the very depths of Hell.

“‘Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.’”

You take a step closer to the edge, and then another. A cloud passes over, plunging you into darkness. The surface of the lake resembles a black hole, eager to gobble you up. Like the vacuum of space, the water is deathly cold this time of year. It won’t take very long at all for you to succumb.

“Amen.”

Arms open, you’re about to let yourself fall off the dock when a familiar awareness overtakes you. The moon reappears from behind the clouds, and the terrain is once more cast in an ethereal, silver-blue glow.

He’s standing on the water, watching you from the deepest part of the lake. That horrid white eye twinkles like a star, a cheap imitation of the Heaven you’ll never reach.

Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.

Your muscles slacken, and you fall to your knees, screaming and sobbing and pulling at your hair. The figure stands there, motionless, as you crumble to pieces. He is at once alluring and repulsive, and for as much as you still want to drown, you are drawn to him like a moth to flame.

“Lord,” you croak, tears streaming down your face. You sniffle, then take a steadying breath. “If it is you, command me to come to you.”

Come to me, dearest.

Shakily, you rise to your feet, eyes darting between the shadow and the edge of the dock. He raises his hand, bones shining like diamonds in the moonlight, and beckons you forth. Your chest is tight with apprehension as you take a step down, fully expecting your foot to sink into the icy water.

It’s as firm as the wood beneath the rest of you.

The rush of adrenaline is instantaneous. It’s like you’re flying; it’s better. You plant your other foot down on the surface of the lake, take a few shaky steps, and before you know it you’re running to him, gliding across the water like it’s ice. It ripples with every stride, splashing your legs, but you never once sink or slip.

As you approach the figure, the shadows seem to pull away, revealing him to you in full for the first time. Most of him is still obscured, body draped in long, purple robes, his face hidden behind a mask. There is clearly flesh on him, though, as beneath the metallic, skull-like facade, his painted lips are full and temptingly soft. Curls of black hair frame his face in a manner reminiscent of classical sculpture. His other eye is light in color, blue or green, though it’s difficult to tell in the darkness.

Your angel of death. He is dreadful. He is beautiful. You fall on your knees before him, arms open in supplication, eyes full of joyful tears.

“Lord, save me.”

You of little faith. You must save yourself.

He extends his hand. Without hesitation, you take it, and know you are finally free.

[leahsgirl]

“yes you idiot.”

— in which leah has planned on proposing to you for a long time - except when that time does come; it all goes awry.

pairings - leah williamson x reader (female)

warnings - none, just minor swearing.

a/n - this is my first shot at writing so it may be horrible i apologise

—

“so once i’ve finished setting everything up I’ll text you and let you know i’m on my wa-“ Leah was mid conversation with Beth and Viv; until you interrupted of course, slotting yourself next to the blonde and matching strides with her as you make your way off the training pitch.

“what are you guys talking about?” you questioned as you observed beth and viv give each other a quick glance.

“nothing baby, I was just asking how myles was adjusting.” Leah replied, reaching out for your hand.

You and Leah have been dating for two and a half years, having officially met playing for the England squad a year prior. While Leah wasn’t your biggest fan to begin with - that soon changed when you made the transfer from manchester united to arsenal, allowing you and the blonde to get closer which then resulted in the two of you starting dating.

“oh my god, you have no idea how excited i’ve been to see him again.”

“i still want to know how you taught him to sit the first time meeting him - he won’t do it for me and Viv.” Beth bewildered.

“what can i say? i’m just the chosen one.” you smirked. “are you sure you can’t come Lee?” Now diverting your attention back to your girlfriend who was sorting out clothes to change into. You and a few of the other girls were going to Beth and Viv’s for a little girls/catch up night, unaware it was actually a set up to keep you out the house while Leah put her plan into action.

“i’ve got to go and help Jacob move stuff out of his apartment y/n or you know i’d be there.” She kissed your cheek.

“definitely just a sore loser because ya’ lost the game last time we went.” Katie piped up, appearing next to the taller girl who in turn gave her a petty slap on the arm.

—

“you’re beautiful.” a voice spoke from the other end of the room, slowly getting closer and wrapping their arms around you from behind as you looked at yourself in the mirror, peppering a few light kisses near your ear.

“and you’re late, weren’t you meant to meet Jacob twenty mins ago?”

Leah shrugged it off. “and miss the chance of admiring my girl. no way.” She planted a quick kiss on your lips, knowing you’d just finished applying your makeup. “besides, he changed the time to seven, i’ve got a good half an hour.”

She plonked herself down on the bed, fiddling with the rings she wore on her fingers. “what you thinking about in that pretty head of yours?” throughout your relationship with leah, you’ve got to know her pretty much inside and out, and if theres one thing you do know; she only messes with her rings when something is bothering her. “hm..nothing, just thinking about us i guess.”

“us?” you pushed, now joining her on the bed. “just like how we’ve ended up here and how thankful i am for you and everything.” the blue-eyed girl turned to look at you, as if she was studying your whole face. “well, i’m very thankful for you too, even if you are a pain in the arse most of the time.” the twenty-six year old faked hurt and annoyance. “but i love you.” you said more sincerely, placing a tender kiss on Leah’s forehead.

“i love you too.”

__

Leah kindly offered to drop you off at Beth and Viv’s which you accepted of course. All of the other girls were already there; Alessia and Lottie were fussing over myles, Katie, Caitlin and Steph was in what seemed like a very intense conversion, Jenn and Lia was messing with different filters on TikTok and Beth & Viv were playing host.

“there she is! y/n come in.” Viv ushered you inside and offered you a drink. You immediately making a beeline for the man of the hour, crouching down preparing to be bombarded by a very excited puppy.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Leah had began decorating. Her plan was for you to come home to a nice romantic homemade dinner, where after you share some nice conversation and food - she would pop the question, asking you to be her wife.

She’s had this planned for a good couple of months, having gone out with some of your teammates to acquire the goods and then going ring shopping on one of her few days off. To be honest, she was quite proud of herself she’s managed to keep this a secret from you for all this time.

The blonde started by blowing up some heart shaped balloons, followed by scattering rose petals from the front door all the way to the dining table which had been covered with a white table cloth and taper candles. She was making your favourite dishes for the meal of course; pasta with pesto and finishing with churros.

easier said than done however. “how do i make pasta?” the defender flipped the camera so her mum who was now on facetime can see the ingredients. It was times like this where she wishes she helped with the cooking more around the house. After practically what turned out to be a cooking lesson, Leah took the opportunity to change into something nicer, and less covered in flour.

Making her way around the bedroom, she opened her nightstand drawer, sifting a few things around until she pulled out a small black velvet box. She opened it briefly, checking the ring was okay and preyed to god you would like it.

Taking one final look at her work around the house, she pulled out her phone to text the fellow forward.

to: meado

just finished up back here, i’m gonna start heading to yours now.

As the night died down, your teammates and yourself had all congregated in the living room, spread across the sofa and the floor with some kind of cheesy sitcom that Lia put on playing in the background. Different conversations were going on, you finding yourself in a deep conversation with Jenn and Caitlin.

“Well well, look who finally decided to show her face.” Katie announced, pointing at all too familiar blonde locks. “Hey guys.” You got up and walked over to her planting a kiss on her cheek.

“i thought you had to help your brother?” You ask while absentmindedly rubbing her back. “oh..i did, we just finished so I thought i’d come pick you up.”

“Do you want a drink Leah?” Steph offered, holding up a beer in each hand. “No thanks, we have to get back to the apartment.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Do we?”

“Yes we do, now come on.” She took your hand and tried to pull you to the door. “What’s with the rush? You’re being weird Lee.”

“I’m not - i’m just tired that’s all, i’m ready for bed.” She fake yawned. You sighed, “okay grumpy, just let me say bye to everyone.”

It’s safe to say the car ride home was no better. Leah’s leg was bouncing up and down which isn’t exactly ideal when you’re driving, she was cursing out everyone on the roads and kept messing with her bangs if they moved in the slightest. “Are you sure you’re okay love?”

The blonde turned to look and you and gave a weary smile, lifting your hand to her lips and giving it a gentle peck. “I’m fine I promise.”

Walking up the steps to your shared home, Leah stopped you before opening the door. “Okay I need you to close your eyes and only open them when I tell you.”

Complying, you shut your eyes. “Suspicious Miss Williamson.” You stated as you could hear your girlfriend fiddling with her keys in the door. she wrapped her arm around yours and guided you inside. “Okay you can open them now.” You followed her advice and took in your surroundings, suddenly getting an overwhelming sense of love surge over you. “Surprise.” Leah pulled you over to the candlelit table and pulled out a chair for you, waiting for you to sit down to then tuck you in. “Lee..i’m speechless. What’s all this for?”

“Just doing my girlfriend duties and treating you.” The blonde brought over two dishes to the table and sat herself down opposite you. “Shut up! you made my favourite meal?!” Taking a bite off your fork, your mouth practically waters with how good it tastes. “Oh my god, babe this is incredible.” Deciding to be more romantic, you twirl some of the pasta onto your fork and hold it out for Leah to take which she does.

it was all going really well; it had been long overdue since you and leah had a ‘date’ so to speak. While you loved your job and wouldn’t trade it for the world, it often meant romantic gestures like these were far and few in between.

“Is something burning?” The smell of smoke filling your nostrils as you look at the kitchen.

“Shit shit shit!” Leah was quick to her feet, opening the oven where a surge of grey smoke escaped and pulled out a tray with what were now very burnt churros. “For fuck sake.” The defender whined “Well there goes dessert.”

Joining her behind the kitchen island, you looked at the baking tray. “well..you tried.” half-heartedly joking, you looked at the older girl who now had a pout on her face. “It’s okay Leah, you made a lovely pasta. Besides, i’m sure we have some ice cream or something in the freezer.”

“No you don’t understand, tonight was meant to be perfect.” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. You knitted your eyebrows together “Okay out with it.” sternly said, crossing your arms.

“Hm?”

“You’ve been on edge all day..you change the conversation when i caught up to you, meado and Viv. You couldn’t come to girls night which you never miss; i know you said you had to help your brother but then he suddenly changes times, you was angsty all the way home and now you’re practically arguing with the oven. So tell me what’s going on.”

Leah motioned for you to sit on the sofa. “Okay this isn’t how I wanted it to go down but-“ She took a deep breath. “Y/n, as you know i’m not really big on talking about my feelings, but the past three years have been the happiest of my life. you make me excited for the next day to come, you always push me, you stuck with me during my lowest, especially during my acl recovery, you just make me a better person.”

She takes your hand in hers, caressing your skin with her thumb and looks you directly in the eyes which at this point were working hard to not well up. “I guess what i’m trying to say is-“ She reaches into her pants pocket pulling out the familiar black velvet box. “-Will you marry me?”

As she says those four words, she opens the box and looks down at it, doing a double take as she sees its empty - the ring no where to be seen. “What the fuck, where’s the pissing ring.” Colour is draining from her face at this point as she stands up and frantically starts pacing. “You’ve got to be shitting me, the one day i need things to go smoothly.”

“Do you mean this ring?” You held up a ring with an oval diamond at the centre of it. Leah looked dumbfounded “How-how did you-“ The blonde was at a loss for words.

“Lee you dropped it twice during dinner - i even passed it to you once.” You giggled as you passed her the ring back “Did you?”

“See, you’ve been so uptight you didn’t even realise.” Standing up, you wrapped your arms around her neck, moving closer so that your faces were inches apart. “But my answer is yes.” you say barely above a whisper.

“yes?” at this point you thought you’d broke your poor girlfriend. “Yes i’ll marry you idiot.” Pressing your lips onto hers, you emerged yourselves into a deep kiss filled with passion.

Your now fiancé slipped the ring into your finger, admiring the ring and then you. She picked you up, twirling you around out of pure happiness and relief.

“Now how about dessert?” You winked and tugged her towards the bedroom.

liked by lucybronze and 2,086,773 others

leahwilliamson introducing future mrs williamson

usera SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

chloekelly congratulations ❤️

userb y/n on that wag life

youruser whose to say it’s not gonna be ‘leah y/l/n’

leahwilliamson replying to youruser y/n williamson just sounds better

kierawalsh congrats lovebirds 😄❤️

liked by alessiarusso and 1,887,201 others

youruser imagine i said no

ellatoone 😍❤️

userc Y/N’s GETTING MARRIED IM DOING ROLYPOLYS

1maryearps congrats kiddo!

userd please the difference in her and leah’s captions

jodiemcomer so happy for you y/n, congrats X

[wolfstarlibrarian]

9 books to read in 2025 (sweet + spicy)

Thank you SO much to @eyra for tagging me! I love an excuse to talk about books.

I had SO much fun reading these books I'm excited to share them, so pretty please let me know if you read any of them? I might put anon asks back on because I'm so eager to discuss them. Also, all of these books have HEAs.

Also, I'm working on related marauders lists for almost all of these, so stay tuned!

🌶️ = the more peppers the spicier it is

🍭 = the more lollipops the sweeter it is

Captive Prince: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

This series is one that ifykyk. It's a dark, dramatic, sexy mlm series set in a pseudo historic age and WOW. If it was a fic it'd come with tons of warnings and tags, but there's also an underlying softness between the main characters. Lots of angst and drama and characters you can't help root for. DEFINITELY an 18+ rec so please proceed accordingly.

Johann: Vampire Mates: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

I already rec'd one of the books in this series here, but this one is tied for my favorite. A modern soulmate/vampire au that's got humor, the CUTEST cinnamon roll who's inexperienced (and hundreds of years old), a russian mobster, and just enough angst to make me you ache.

Boystown Heartbreakers: 🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

If you're a wolfstar fan, then you'll absolutely adore this friends-to-lovers modern story about a hairstylist who is so worried about dating his DROP DEAD GORGEOUS best friend. All the internal turmoil paired with a book boyfriend you'll absolutely love, and lines that actually had me laughing out loud makes this one of my top reads for the year.

The Charm Offensive: 🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

This one totally surprised me with how well it dealth with mental health issues in the middle of a VERY charming story about falling in love with someone (when it's literally your job to help them fall in love with someone else). A bi-awakening and oblivious pining gem. If you want more fics that feature a reality show check out this rec list.

Myles Below Freezing: 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

Okay can someone alert the Hazelnoot server? Because this one feels like a cross between Solntse and Sweater Weather. Myles (a cinnamon roll, nerdy Remus IMO) has to solve a murder mystery at the South Pole while trying not to fall for the sweetheart Russian Alexei. The banter is incredible and honestly my friends and I need a second book about the lesbians in it. Forced proximity, oblivious DATING, anxiety rep, action and chase scenes, cuddling, and locked-in together all in one.

Sapphire Sunset: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

If you don't know Chris Rice, he's the gay son of Anne Rice (author of Interview With A Vampire) and thank god he's followed in her footsteps because his romance books are SO good and intense and yet fluffy? It's a ton of drama about an ex-marine and a hotel heir and a family scandal for the books. Feels delightfully like an age-gap modern Drarry book.

Lightning Born: 🌶️ 🍭

A friend recommended me this Frankenstein mlm retelling, and I was like "ew, no". However, I was completely surprised by how much heart it had, and how much it reminded me of R/S. Amnesia (due to ya know, dying), forbidden love, some serious angst, and thankfully a HEA that includes lesbians getting to live out in the tropics.

Honey Girl: 🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

This is the only book on the list with wlw as the main pairing and by god, it's beautiful. The writing style gripped me on the first page and I've been recommending it to everyone since I've read it. Imagine waking up in a hotel room in Vegas, by yourself, with a wedding band on your finger and a note. The whole book feels like an intimate love letter and it should absolutely be on your TBR.

On Writing

No spice or sweetness in this non-fiction book, because it's a book by Stephen King on writing. Whenever I talk to anyone who's struggling with their craft I always recommend this book. It's short, to the point, and will leave you feeling much more confident in your abilities while helping you improve your writing. 10/10.

⭐

Okay well I hope you enjoy these recs! I've turned on anon asks so please share your thoughts or your own recs as I'm always looking for new books and fics to read. (We'll just ignore how long the TBR list is already...)

Tagging: @thedrarrylibrarian @wolfstarwarehouse @wolfstarmicrofic @pancakehouse @imsiriuslyreading @lavenderhaze @rainbowrowell @gayliketheancients @brandileigh2003 @mrtellmeafckingsecret @imjusthereforwolfstar And ANYONE ELSE who also love books

[cementcornfield]

https://www.tumblr.com/cementcornfield/770769401912934400

8 and 16!!

8. who's your favourite player not on your favourite team + never been?

okay, this time i'm gonna go ahead and say myles garrett. i know i know this could be sacrilege choosing an afc north rival whose sole purpose in life seems to be attacking joe BUT. hear me out.

he's so gorgeous oh my god. we've all seen that body issue right??? please please click if you haven't. i promise you it's life changing.

but beyond all that, he's also just a deeply dorky thoughtful guy (outside of the, you know, brutal sacking power he has as probably the best edge guy in the league). he's a photographer, he's a poet, he plays DnD at local cleveland bars lmao. and he's so creative with his halloween costumes and decorations each year oh my god. he's just another very FUN player to watch.

and i also really enjoy the dynamic he has with joe. nothing better than Guy Whose Job It Is To Hit and Guy Who Loves Getting Hit. like truly a match made in heaven <3 (plus joe being myles 100th sack, that's love baby!) they also have been known to hang out in the offseason and genuinely seem to like each other. love that for them!!

16. what's the best game/moment in your eyes?

alright, i'm gonna say my next favorite game is probably the '22 afc championship win versus the chiefs because oh my god. NO ONE thought we were going to win that one. we were just a lil feel good story that surely was going to stop there. but nope! we beat the chiefs! we beat patrick mahomes! everyone was realizing 'holy shit are the bengals GOOD now??' and we did it AT arrowhead!!! another road game with an intense atmosphere that no one thought we could overcome, and we did! it was close and exciting game the whole time and we stayed in it. we kept battling. joe stayed calm and ja'marr did what he always does. sam also came in strong with TWO sacks on mahomes (oh sam. what you once were!!) and OF COURSE evan with the OT field goal to win it all :') :') oh my god, it was absolutely beautiful. (if you have the time PLEASE watch the mic'd up of it. ja'marr is one of the players mic'd up and you get to see him just start SOBBING after evan's kick makes it. i think watching this was when i first completely fell in love with who ja'marr is tbh!)

[pitchsidestories]

Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself II Laia Codina x Reader

masterlist I word count: 2161

A/N: based of this request. Let us know what you think.

Like every week, Jonas Eidevall announced his starting line up for the upcoming game a few days before the weekend. And like most weeks, Laia Codina was not in it. Usually she would accept this with a brave face but this time, she left the room right after the announcement. Shocked, you watched your girlfriend go; “Laia…“

You were about to get up as well but Jen Beattie held you back from following her; “Let her.“ “It’s really not easy for her, Jen.“, you explained helplessly. The rest of the Arsenal players had already fallen back into their usual routine of small talk. The Scot nodded empathetically; “It’s never easy to sit on the bench.“ “Very true.“, Lia Wälti agreed.

“Leave her alone for a moment.“, Jen instructed you gently. “Right… I don’t want to annoy her.“, you nodded slowly. “She always puts on a brave face and supports the other players. I know she expected something else when she moved her.“, the Scot continued.

“Especially coming from the World Cup as a Champions… it’s tough.“, you added. You and Laia had talked about it a lot recently. “We all understand that, trust me.“, Jen smiled softly.

Victoria Pelova chimed in; “Yes, we get that.“ “Thanks girls.“, you forced yourself to smile at your team mates. Kim Little who sat next to Jen got up; “I’ll go look after her.“ You thanked your captain with a grateful nod.

Laia sat on the steps outside. She looked up in surprise as Kim approached her; “Kim hi.“ “Are you okay?“, the captain asked, sitting down beside her. “Yes, I’m good.“, the Spanish defender replied, no very convincingly.

But she could not fool her captain. “It’s tough, right?“ “A bit.“, Laia finally admitted, her gaze directed down at her toes. With confidence, Kim replied; “You’ll get your time. Trust me.“ “Are you sure about this?“ Laias voice was filled with insecurity. The captain nodded; “I am. I see how hard you work.“ “That’s what she says too…“, the defender said.

When she looked up, she caught Kim smiling briefly; “Maybe she’s got a point.“ “Yes, but you know as my girlfriend she needs to say stuff like this.“, Laia returned the smile. Kim raised her eyebrows at her team mate; “Yes, but as your captain I’m saying that stuff because it’s true.“

“Appreciate it.“, Laia laughed lightly. Kim bumped her elbow against Laias; “Are you ready to go back inside?“ “I am.“, she confirmed while getting up and pulling the Scot up with her. “Let’s go then. We still need you for the game.“

Meanwhile Steph Catly was putting an arm around your shoulder:” And you stop feeling bad because you’re in the starting line and she isn’t.” “I don’t.”, you muttered. Slowly Beth Mead shook her head:” Yeah, you’re.”

“Maybe a little bit.”, you admitted blushing.  Laughing Katie McCabe padded your back and suggested:” Don’t. Don’t blame yourself, blame Jonas.”  “Katie.”, Vivianne Miedema rolled her eyes at her friend. Cheekily the Irish player threw her hands up:” What? As long as it works, and she feels better.” “I can confirm it helps.”, you told her with a crooked smile on your lips.  

Triumphantly Katie turned around to the Dutch forward:” See!”  “Girls, do you want to grab a coffee and we get Myle?”, Vivianne changed the topic quickly to something more light-hearted.

With that said the owner of Win brought in the puppy she and her girlfriend got which made Beth squeal out loud in delight:”Myle!” “Hello little one.”, you whispered in awe, cuddling the little dog when he approached you and started licking your face. Happily, the blonde dog mum declared: “He says hi too.”  

“Such a good boy. Laia, can we get one too?”, you asked your girlfriend as she was re-entering the room. Quickly Victoria responded, pouting:”No, I’ll get a dog before that.”

“I didn’t know we couldn’t get one if you get one.”, the Spanish defender answered entertained by her reaction. Trying to calm down your teammate you offered her:” Vicky, we could look together at dogs, what do you think about that.” “No, thanks.”, she waved it off. 

Motivated Vivianne clapped into her hands:” Let’s go to the coffeeshop, shall we?”  “Please, Myle needs a puppycino.”, her girlfriend nodded excited. “And I need a human cappuccino before we cook later with Aitana and Keira via facetime.”, you added grinning.

Innocently Alessia was looking at the brunette:” Sounds delicious, Laia are we invited too?” “For the cooking or the dinner?”, Laia wanted to know.

The face of the English player turned slightly pink:” Actually, more for the dinner.” “I knew you’d say that.”, your girlfriend replied smiling. Cheekily Victoria asked her:” Does this mean we can come later?” “Fine.”, Laia sighed in defeat. But you knew she loved having her new teammates over for dinner.

After you had your little coffee catch up with the Arsenal girls you two started cooking in your new appartement.  Amused Aitana looked at you both through your phone screen:” So you want to get a puppy? I need to tell that Mapi, she will love it. Remember she always said you’re the epitome of puppy love when we were younger!”

“Oh, stop it. We’ll never hear the end of it.”, Laia begged the Spanish midfielder giggling.Laughing, you agreed; “Yeah, please. We want to visit Barcelona in peace.“

Keiras face lightened up in surprise and she shared a look with Aitana; “You’re going to visit?“ “Soon, yes.“, you replied. “Can’t wait.“, Aitana smiled happily into the phone camera. “We neither.“, Laia answered while watching Keira stirred their food with a wrinkled nose.

“We need to cook faster. I’m starving.“, she complained. With a gaze to your kitchen clock, you agreed; “Oh yeah, we should hurry up.

The Arsenal girls will be here soon.“ “You invited your team to our BFF night?“, Keira asked, more amused than offended. Laia shrugged in response; “You know how Alessia can do puppy eyes, right? We had no chance.“

“Rude.“, the English midfielder laughed lightly. Her midfield partner at Barcelona agreed; “Honestly, we’re your friends too!“ “We know that.“, Laia rolled her eyes with fondness. “That’s why we’ll see you again soon.“, you added.

“Maybe.“, Laia followed up. Keira repeated; “Maybe?“ “Yeah?“ Before they could start a discussion about your vacation to Barcelona, you changed the topic; “Aitana, how’s your dinner looking?“

“Delicious. Here, look.“ The phone was lifted and the camera flipped so you could see their delicious looking Spanish dish. “Looks amazing.“, you commented.

With a small smile, Keira challenged you; “Bet yours doesn’t look as good.“ You had to suppress a smile, thinking back about how shy and awkward Keira was when had first met her.

Laia in the meantime took her phone to show your friends the large simmering pot that sat on your stove: “Lies. Look at that beauty.“ “That’s a whole lot of food.“, Keira stated, seemingly impressed. “Well, a lot of girls want to join dinner and they’re footballers so that means they’ll be hungry.“, you explained, carefully tasting the hot food. “I see.“

As soon as you were done cooking, Keira and Aitana ended the video call to enjoy their dinner in Barcelona while you in London hosted your team mates. As always when you spent time with them, the evening was filled with laughter and good cheer. You didn’t even notice how quickly time had passed until all your guests had left.

It was around midnight when Laia and you started doing the dishes. “They couldn’t get enough of that dinner, Laia.“, you stated contently. Still elated from the dinner, your girlfriend smiled; “I’ll tell Aitana and Keira that they loved their recipe.“ “You should.“

“They’ll be happy.“, Laia concluded with a laugh. You both silently focused on cleaning for a moment but a thought still whirred in your brain; “Laia, are you happy here?“ The defender paused, wiping her hands on a tea towel before answering; “I am… Why?“

You shrugged; “I was just thinking about your reaction earlier when Jonas made it clear that you’re not in the starting line up… I was worried you might regret joining me at Arsenal.“ “I don’t regret it.“, Laia replied quickly. You could see that there was more going on so you prompted her to continue; “But?“

“I was expecting to get more game time after the World cup.”, the brunette explained, her voice couldn’t conceal her disappointment. Softly you promised her: “Trust me, your time to shine will come.” “Hopefully.”, she whispered, her shoulders shrinking.

Saddened by her body language you pulled her into a hug:” Laia, don’t be so hard on yourself.” “I’ll just try to become better.”, Laia told you with a weak smile on her lips. More hopeful the defender added:” I feel like I can do it.” “I know you can.”, you tried to cheer her up.

Gratefully she pressed a kiss on your forehead, mumbling against your skin:” Thanks love.” “You’re welcome.”, you replied sincerely. The Spanish woman decided after your embrace:” Let’s go to bed. Tomorrow is training.” You swiftly followed her to your bedroom; the promise of better days was in the air.

It seemed like the effort Laia put into her training paid off because Jonas put her up in the starting line against Reading at the end of January. On match day Vivianne hummed:” Look at you, you’re so proud of your girlfriend.”

“Oh, shut up, Viv.”, you playfully elbowed her.  The Dutch forward kept teasing you: “What? It’s true.”  “Yes, okay, you’re right, I’m really happy for her.”, you admitted proudly grinning into your girlfriend’s direction who was just getting ready for the match in your team’s locker room.

Amused Vivianne looked at you:” Told you.” “So cute.”, Beth tuned in with an equally wide smile. Your teammates making you groan out loud: “Not you too.” “What?”, the English blonde answered innocently.

Meanwhile Jonas announced cheerfully: “Girl’s time to go off on that pitch and play.” “Thank god.”, you muttered relieved before turning to Laia, whispering into her ear, good luck, love.” The defender kissed your cheek: “Thank you, mi amor.”

In the second half the Spanish player did score, Victoria exclaimed happily:” Nice goal, Laia!” “Thanks.”, Laia answered blushing. Beaming Jen Beattie padded her shoulders:” Welcome to the Arsenal.” “Thanks.”, she chuckled.

Eyerolling the Dutch midfielder turned to the Scottish player:” She’s been here for half a year, Jen!” “She didn’t score yet though.”, Jen defended herself. Curious Laia glanced at the older woman:” Is that the moment when you become a real gooner?” “Yes.”, the Scottish player nodded delighted.

For a moment you embraced her: “Congrats.” “Thank you.”, your girlfriend said, cheeks turning redder after your hug. Clearing her throat Beth reminded you all:” We got to go back to work, girls.” “Exactly.”, Kim agreed.

After the match you and Leah walked into the locker room together:” Lee, your assist was great.” “Thanks. Feels good to be back.”, the blonde confessed smiling.

Like every professional player you knew what a big moment it was so you added: “I can imagine.” “It was perfect.”, Beths eyes sparkled fondly while thinking of her goal. Teasing you glanced at her:” Yeah, pretty decent goal, Beffy.” “Decent?!”, the goal scorer repeated playfully hurt.

Jen interrupted you, a guitar in hand. “Guys, listen.“, she called, playing the first chords. Kim gave her an unimpressed look; “What are you doing?“ “It’s something we worked on, right Jen?“, Leah responded, sitting down next to Jen and started singing. Rolling her eyes, Kim shook her head about her team mates while Laia held her hand out towards you.

You took it and let her pull you in to slow dance to the song. Smiling, you looked at each other until Katie shouted; “Disgusting cute couple!“ “I agree.“, Kim mumbled. “Oh, you two let them breathe.“, Caitlin rolled her eyes. Jen nodded: “Yeah, let them have fun.“

Laughing, Caitlin slapped Katie on her upper arm; “Also you could just ask me to dance with you, Katie.“ The Irish player grimaced immediately; “Ew, no.“ “Ignore them, Laia.“, you smiled, your eyes locked with hers. “But…“, she started. “Hm?“ “Doesn’t matter.“ “Okay.“ “Let’s enjoy this.“, Laia stated, continuing to sway with her hands on your hips. “Alright.“, you nodded.

She let her forehead rest against yours; “That was a great game.“ “Agreed.“, you smiled, genuinely happy for your girlfriend. “It feels like the hard work finally paid off.“ Carefully, you caressed her cheek with one hand; “You definitely deserved it.“ “Thank you.“ Jens voice snapped you two out of your moment; “Girls? Everyone left already.“

You hadn’t even realized that the music had stopped playing. “We’re coming.“, you called as Jen left the dressing room as well. Laia took her football bag; “Yes, on our way.“ On your way out, you took your girlfriends hand and pressed a quick kiss to her lips; “Certainly a day to remember.“

[alotofpockets]

Lost & found | Katie McCabe x Reader

Part of the Mini Mate Universe

Summary: Where Jake loses his favourite stuffed animal, and Katie helps you through a panic attack.

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.6k

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Over the past few months you had gone over to Beth and Viv’s place for dinner at least once a week. Jake loved his new aunties, and you enjoyed spending time with the couple and the many guests they seemed to have over at all times. Beth and Viv in turn were also enjoying having you and Jake around, you fitted right in with all Katie’s teammates, and well they just all loved Jake.

Today you would have brunch at their house, along with a few other girls from the team. Katie texted you she needed to finish up some things and head your way in 30 minutes, just enough time for Jake to finish his Bluey episode, you thought while you finished packing up his bag.

When Katie arrived, she greeted you with a kiss, “Hi baby, are you ready to go?” Jake’s show was still playing in the background, but it was long forgotten by the boy when he heard Katie’s voice. The sound of his tiny footsteps running your way made the both of you smile and look into the hallway. “Kawie!” You didn’t think you would ever grow tired of his excitement for your girlfriend, or the way he pronounced her name. “Hi mini mate, I’ve missed you!” She picks him up and twirls him around. “Let me just turn everything off, and I will meet you at the car?” 

Each time you were heading somewhere with Katie, she insisted on driving to your house, and head to wherever you were going together. You had told her many times that you could just meet her at Beth and Viv’s, but Katie kept insisting to go together. Usually you took your car since Jake’s seat was in there, but now you walk outside and see Katie putting Jake into her car. “Wait, why are you putting him in your car? He needs his car seat.” Katie stepped to the side to show you the brand new car seat installed in the back of her car, and you couldn’t believe your eyes. Katie ruffled your son’s hair before closing the door softly. “What do you think?” You were still a bit shocked. “I think it looks great, but you really didn’t have to do that.” Katie takes your hand and leads you to her car. “I know I didn’t have to, but I’m in this for the long run, and I want to be able to go somewhere with the three of us and not make you drive every time.” You place a soft kiss on her lips, “You are the best, I love you.”

When you arrived it didn’t take long for Jake to run off to Laura who was playing with Myle. You loved knowing that any one of Katie’s teammates would look out for your boy when you were in a group setting, and that even though as a mom you would still keep checking in, you could also let it go a bit, knowing that he was cared for.  

You spend about an hour talking with the group of girls before Beth said that she was going to take the dogs for a walk. Since the weather was so nice, everyone decided to tag along. You headed to the little beach nearby, where the dogs could run around freely. Beth and Viv walked up front, with two dogs running ahead of them, you and Katie followed with Jake on Katie’s neck, and the group of you was followed by a giggling Laura and Vic pushing each other around. It was interesting to see the different dynamics between the girls surrounding you, but you loved all of their company. 

When you got back to Beth and Viv’s you all had lunch together, before you made the short drive back to your house. Katie knew you were in need of some one on one time with her, so she had asked Linda if she would watch Jake during his nap and the rest of the afternoon. It wasn’t until you had tucked Jake into his bed with Katie and Linda talking downstairs, that you realised that Jake had lost his stuffed bunny. You found out because Jake started loudly crying. “Mommy, me want Benny!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. “Shh, it’s okay kiddo, Mommy is going to go look for Benny.” You held the boy in your arms as the tears rolled over his cheeks. The women downstairs had heard Jake’s screams, and Katie came running with a different stuffed animal that she found amongst Jake’s toys. “Hi buddy.” She says sitting down next to you and while letting her hands go through your son’s hair. “I have a Mister Bear here, who really needs some cuddles. Do you think you can give him some cuddles?” Jake took the bear with a little hesitation. “Good job kiddo, you’re making Mister Bear very happy.” You say, wiping his tears away. “Come on, nap time. Linda will be right downstairs if you need anything.” With a kiss to his forehead, you leave his room.

Once you close his bedroom door, you start pacing the hallway. Katie takes your hand, “Let’s get downstairs, baby.” You continue your pacing when you get to the living room. “Why can’t I remember where I last saw his bunny?” It was frustrating that you could not picture the last time you saw Jake holding Benny. “It’s okay, baby, I will text Viv and ask her to look at their place, and we will go to the beach and check there. We’re going to find Benny, okay?” 

You made your way over to the beach, the route passed Viv and Beth’s so if they would find the bunny you could go there instead. Viv texted before you passed their exit that they couldn’t find the bunny anywhere in the living room, hallway or backyard, where Jake had been today. So, the beach was your last hope. 

After walking every inch of the luckily rather small beach back and forth for the third time, you plopped down on the sand. The frustrations and emotions were getting the better of you as you started crying. “What am I going to do? Benny is his favourite stuffed animal.” Your thoughts started spiralling. How were you going to be able to explain this to your toddler? You could already see the pout and the sadness behind his eyes. Your breathing sped up until it was getting hard for you to breathe. Katie noticed what was happening right away, and sat down in front of you. “Hey baby, look at me.” Your vision was blurry, but you turned your head in the direction of her voice. “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay. Can you take a deep breath in for me?” You tried to take a big breath, but after inhaling for a second you were struggling again. “That was good, let’s try another one.” She took one of your hands and put it over her heart. “Can you feel my heartbeat, baby?” You nodded weakly. “Okay good, focus on my heart beating, and try to take another deep breath in.” 

Focussing on Katie’s heartbeat helped you to stay grounded, and breath by breath, your breathing started to get more regular. “What happened?” You ask while wiping away your tears. “I think you just had a panic attack.” You stand up and start ridding yourself of sand. “Take it easy baby, let’s take a moment.” Katie tries to make you take a break. “No need, we need to find this bunny. I already ruined our afternoon, I don’t want to ruin it further by not coming home with Jake’s bunny.” Katie is quick to her feet and places her hands on your shoulder. “You did not ruin our afternoon. I will gladly search over this beach ten more times, if that means I got to spend time with you, and make Jake happy.”

Before you could respond to Katie’s kind words, you were interrupted by her phone ringing. “Hey Viv, you’re on speaker, y/n is with me.” Katie said as she picked up the call. “Ah that’s great. I have good news, we found Benny.” You couldn’t believe it and fell into Katie’s arms. “Thank you so much Viv. That is so good to hear.” Katie wrapped her arm around you, and placed a kiss onto your forehead. “Yeah thanks Viv. We’re at the beach now, so we’ll come pick it up on the way, if that’s okay with you.” Viv agrees, “Yeah, just one thing. The reason we couldn’t find it before was because Myle is the one that found him, and he might have a severed limb now. We are so sorry, y/n.” You shake your head, just happy that the beloved stuffed animal was found. “Don’t worry about it Viv, I’m just glad I don’t have to tell Jake that the whole bunny is gone.” 

Once you got back home with the bunny and his loose arm, Linda was quick to say that she could fix him. Linda got to work right away, and got done just in time, as you heard Jake waking up upstairs. She handed you the bunny, and you made your way upstairs. “Hi Jakey.” Your son looked up at you with big hopeful eyes. “You won’t believe the adventure Benny has been on today.” You say as you reveal the stuffed animal. “Mommy found Benny!” You had never seen the boy wake up so quickly. “Actually auntie Viv did, because little Benny went on an adventure with Myle today.” You made up a story about Benny and Myle in hopes the boy would forget about the sadness of losing his stuffy, and by the smile on his face, you think you were doing a pretty good job.

-----

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[despairots]

miles 42 and miles 1610 are twins and fight over reader and try to impress her and stuff

━━━━━━━━ talk about first impressions.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and warning, there’s some suggestive comments from grown adults. i started this yesterday but im posting once/twice a day until i burn myself out from writing and deleting requests. reader is like peni parker. ignore the description, my brain was idk.

please remember that in my last oneshot, earth 1610 miles will be spiderman and earth 42 miles will be the prowler, the two are vigilantes, keep that in mind. also you’re an anarchist lolsies!!1!1! the spanish translation might not be accurate. leaving this on a cliffhanger too LMFAO. you’re always an anarchist in these oneshots.

where the morales twins can’t help but fall for the technology nerd who can do a lot of things, trying to impress you and gift you stuff in public, and with you, obviously being a talented person, you apparently have a lot of admirers, especially weird, old, strange adults.

you sighed in embarrassment at the two morales twins trying one up eachother with giving gifts to you or impressing you. some people would call you lucky, some would be jealous of you.

being fought over the two most attractive guys in brooklyn vision who may look the same but act like polar opposites is a nightmare.

the two may be extremely smart and artistic but they for sure, had different personalities.

miles morales is smart and passionate, committed to others before himself. he has a lot of love for science and art, which he got from his mother, making inventions since he was younger.

the two are both suckers for music, mixing beats as a hobby with their uncle aaron when they were younger.

miles is sociable around crowds, as even when he struggled to fit in after moving to brooklyn vision, would often start conversations with those he came across on the street.

though many of his acts are selfless, mikes is partly driven by low self-confidence in his own abilities, feeling smaller than he is.

since becoming spiderman, miles is extremely eager to help others. this is as much to his credit as it is to his detriment, as he will often put himself in grave, life-threatening danger, in his quest to protect his friends and those he cares about.

myles morales, on the other hand, may also be smart but he’s closed off only being carefree with you and his twin brother. he also has a lot of love for art, spray painting with his brother.

myles isn’t one to talk, again, he’s closed off and usually upholds a stoic persona, opposed to his brother who doesn’t have a problem showing how passionate and cheerful he is.

with him being the prowler, and technically being labeled as ‘spidermans rival’, ignoring that the prowler is his own being. he had a strong morality of protecting his family and you after his father had died.

to which leads him also going into life-threatening dangers.

“[name], do you have any idea how lucky you? like, i would die to be in your spot!” you rolled your eyes at that sentence, “then do it.” your snark reply made a few people in the hallway snicker.

now back to you, [name] [lastname], the robot-technology-hacking loving nerd that grew with the morales twins and them fighting over you, it’s not something that’s lucky.

that constantly one-upped eachother to gain your attention, to the point they wouldn’t HESITATE to embarrass eachother in front of you along with literally fighting who got the best present for you.

it didn’t help since you liked both of them, i mean, how couldn’t you not like them? they were literally labeled ‘most attractive boys alive’ and their personality didn’t help, why do you think you fell deeply in love?

“i got the best gift-“

“i did!”

your bestfriend, gwen stacy, sneaked her arm around you, “i obviously did.” she gave you a smug looked as you sighed in your hands with embarrassment, remembering the time you two accidentally kissed (more like pecked eachother on the lip).

you two vowed to never talk about that again but since that was two years ago, you guys are all 15 by the way, which you guys were 13 by the time she stole your first kiss.

the morales twins didn’t like that, uhh, next!

“ahora no es el momento, gwen.” you muttered, expressing massive stress from the two and the welcomed gwen, “i — uh, failed spanish.” you made a ‘that’s-the-point-‘ look.

“siempre suenas bien hablando en español.” myles commented, shooing gwen’s arm off your shoulder and throwing his arm over yours instead.

“get apagado de [nombre], myles.” miles rolled his eyes and scoffed at his twin, “at least i get an a+ in spanish.” miles gasped at the comment with offence.

“this is why you’re failing science, estúpido!”

“estoy siendo peleado por gemelos estúpidos.” you pinched the bridge of your nose before sneaking out between the twins quarrel, heading over to foam party.

did i mention that you won awards and was on the news for making a working robot suit and finding out how to time travel?

mutters and comments were heard in the coffee shop, irritating your already bad headache. ‘i hate society.’ you rubbed your temples, before ordering your drink and waited.

apparently those minutes of waiting, you got… weird, suggestive comments from grown adults. your face scrunched up every time they said something about you.

“that shirt really compliments your curves.”

you’re were just 15.

“you’ll find a person just like me.”

they were in their late 30s.

“how ‘bout instead of wasting your pretty little time in this coffee shop, you come to my place.”

you just wanted your coffee.

“can i get your number?”

stop.

“you’re really sexy.”

stop it.

they tried grabbing your hand.

“i’ll treat you better.”

stop it. they tried kissing your hand before someone clocked them in the face, “aren’t you an adult, man?” miles’ voice was heard beside your ear as he tried comforting you.

myles rubbed his knuckles with a grossed look on his face. they saw that they were harassing you as you tried to move away from them, worst thing yet, nobody tried to do anything.

they saw what was happening but didn’t help, god they really hated adults.

“acércate a ellos, y será mucho peor que un puñetazo en la cara.” they ran off, myles grabbed your order as the three of you left. it was quiet, too quiet for your looking.

“i could’ve handled that y’know—“ miles handed you a box, opening it to which showed a necklace with a charm that was your hacker logo. you could feel the myles’ eye twitched.

“remember i got [name] a car—“

“shut the hell up, man!”

[name] after the morales twins keep giving them money and gifts.

[pixiesfz]

okay i have a kcc request but it’s a little more hurt/comfort vibes

reader is usually upbeat, matching kyra’s energy. r starts to feel a little down and burnt out and kyra’s the only one that notices. kyra organizes a cute little day for them to just chill and talk and cuddle

yes absolutely I love KCC!

on sale k.c.c

plot: you’ve been told by your agent that you’ve been bought by Chelsea, but you don’t know how to tell your girlfriend and friends

warning: angst?, I’m not sure how buying a player works but we will deal with it

“And Arsenal has taken the deal” Your agent told you as you sat in front of him.

You took a deep breath in and looked away “So I’ll be going to Chelsea in January?” You clarified and he nodded. You scoffed “I’ve been here loyally for years”.

“They are offering you a spot in the starting eleven and if Sam Kerr isn’t playing they will put you in striker position” he explained but your head was spinning.

You were moving to a different club, a rival club.

“Y/n I know this is hard but Arsenal wouldn’t of taken the deal if they didn’t know that it would be better for you and your career” he explained and you nodded your head.

It was November which meant you had one more month with the girls before the break and then you would have to go back with Chelsea.

You were leaving your friends.

You were leaving Kyra.

You were the main reason she took Arsenals deal, she wanted to play with you even if it wasn’t on international break.

“Can I go now?” You asked your agent who sadly smiled “yes you can go”.

You got up quickly, tears in your eyes as you got into your car where you cursed loudly out of frustration. You didn’t drive home to you and Kyras shared apartment, you drove to Beth and Vivs house.

They had taken a motherly status over you as you played for the Netherlands with Viv and Beth had taken you under her wing when you rocked up to your first training in an oversized training top as the smallest size was still to big as you were still a teenager.

You knocked on their door frantically as Beth opened the door with a smile “Not a robbed just y/n!” She called back to her girlfriend before looking at you again, her eyes immediately drawn to your red eyes and uneven breaths.

“Y/n/n are you okay?” She asked softly and you brought the older girl into a bone crushing hug in her doorway “y/n?” She asked and you crossed your head “not yet” you cried and the woman nodded as she squeezed you tighter, Viv walking around the corner in confusion as usually when you came over you and Beth were loudly mucking around.

She didn’t question anything but just watched from the corner of the hallway “lieverd” she muttered out as you made eye contact with your international team mate.

Viv could get any truth out of you with one look so you walked out of your embrace with Beth “they sold me” you said and Viv and Beth shared a look “Arsenal sold you?” Viv asked, stepping forward to you and you nodded “to Chelsea I’ll be moving in January” you explained as Beth wiped away your tears.

Viv looked away, not wanting you to see her emotion of sadness as Beth brought you into a hug “when did you find out?” Viv asked “Just then, I came here first” you explained and they nodded “I can’t go home, not yet” you told them and they nodded.

“You can’t go home cause Kyra will be there?” Viv asked and another tear ran down your face “I don’t know how to tell her, I can’t go home like this”.

The two shared a look and nodded and you looked around “can I go pet Myles now” you sniffed and Viv chuckled at your need for the puppy.

You stayed at the Meadema home for about three hours before you deemed yourself fit enough to go home to your girlfriend.

When you arrived Kyra was sleeping on the couch as the screen asked her if she was still watching, obviously she wasn’t.

Usually you would jump on the girl and wake her up but you instead walked past her and got changed into your pajamas for the night.

When Kyra woke up and saw you in the kitchen she furrowed her brows as you didn’t annoyingly wake her up from her nap.

“Hey how was lunch with Vic?” She asked as she walked into the kitchen

You didn’t tell her about your appointment with your agent, if you did then you would have to tell her the truth which you couldn’t right now.

“It was good” you said as Kyra nodded “did you finally try the dumplings?” She asked as she hugged into you, noticing your stiffness as she did so.

“No” was all you said before opening up a bag of chips, Kyra letting go of your body.

“Well did you not eat enough cause you look still hungry if your eating those” she pointed out and you shrugged “I guess”.

“Want to ring the bell on Caitlin’s apartment and run away like it was a Knick knocker?” Kyra suggested and you crossed your head “not today babe” you said and kissed her cheek.

Kyra watched suspiciously as you walked by her and into the living room.

You were never one to deny a small prank.

When training came the next day you were quiet and stuck by Viv and Beth “you haven’t told her yet?” Beth asked as she noticed Kyras still bubbly behaviour in the corner “I can’t” you said and Viv looked at you “You’re going to have to tell the team soon” she said and you nodded.

During drills you went to kick a shot at goal but Kyra kicked it before you could reach it, earning laughs from Katie, Caitlin and Less who were behind you, normally you would run after the girl in revenge but you found yourself just grabbing the ball and having another shot once again confusing your girlfriend.

Kyra ran over to Beth who was at the end of the line “Hey chicken” Beth smiled and Kyra looked in your direction “do you know what’s wrong with y/n, she’s not as…” Kyra couldn’t find the word “Devilish” Beth answered and Kyra nodded “I guess”

Beth looked at Kyra in sorrow, if Viv hid a secret like the secret you were keeping she would be devastated and sad when she found out “maybe just talk to her after training, she could just be having a bad day” Beth shrugged before going back to her group of forwards where you watched their interaction.

You saw Kyras face fall as she saw you watching and your heart broke, you didn’t want to leave her.

Kyra watched you for the whole of training, complaining of a fake ankle injury just so she could keep a better watch, you smiled once and it was only because of a nutmeg goal you had scored against Manu.

When it was time to shower and go home, you were quick, too quick for Kyras liking, usually you would stay around and joke around with her or hide peoples boots when they weren’t looking but you were in and out of the shower before quickly grabbing your bag and waiting out front.

When you got home you tried to walk straight to your room but Kyras hand grabbed your wrist “y/n wait” she said as you turned around to her “have I done something wrong?” She asked and your eyes widened “No! no god no, why would you think that?” You panicked and Kyra let go of your hand “because you’ve been distant and your answers have been short as if you don’t want to talk to me” she explained and you squeezed your eyes as you realised that your actions have made an impact on your girlfriend “and I also know you didn’t go out for lunch with Vic” Kyra said and you stepped back “Kyra-“

“Did you see someone?” She asked and you panicked once again “No! I would never do that to you!” You said and pulled her in a hug “where did you go then?” She asked and you squeezed her tighter as you snuggled into her neck “y/n?” She asked again and you sniffed, the feeling that you felt as you hugged Beth coming back to you.

“Don’t be mad” you muttered as your eyes watered, Kyra lifted her head as she lifted your head softly with her fingers “I won’t get mad I promise” she told you and you looked away.

“Arsenal uhm-“ you started and Kyra nodded, showing you she was listening “they got an offer from Chelsea for me”

Kyras heart dropped at the next words that came out of your mouth “did they accept it?” She asked, her voice cracking and you nodded “I transfer in January” you told her, a single tear rolling down your face as her eyes watered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked and you looked to the floor “I didn’t know how too”.

The both of you stayed in your position in front of your door way as Kyra listed ways that you could still see each other “On our off days we can spend time with each other and also after games we can relax together, it will be easier than we think y/n” she told you and you nodded before bringing the girl into a kiss.

“I’m gonna miss my partner in crime” she smiled as you leaned in again.