#when he is canonically friendly with the golden gals?

[bokettochild]

Fanon Sky and Legend:

Sky is the sweetheart sleepyhead who loves Hylia because she is his beloved

Legend is the grouchy guy who hates the goddesses and resents the fact that he's been on so many adventures

The Blood of Heroes' History Sky and Legend

Sky is a very tired knight trying to accustom his people to the surface, is plagued by visions and unable to sleep, hates Hylia with a passion for making him and his Zelda into little puppets to do her whim, and is so messed up by Impa's comments

Legend is a well seasoned adventurer who's not ever really considered the reality of a life without adventures, and who befriended and rescues goddesses all the time, he's got his own hobbies on the side during his adventures, and generally is content with his life as is (apart from losing those he loves all the time)

[anonymouscheeses]

The Morningstar family :)

First off, king of hell himself, Lucifer! I incorporated all of the animals he transformed into in the battle with Adam scene(goat, horse, snake, and duck but i wont include duck since hes obsessed already) Because I kept looking up what animals lucifer has been depicted as and was like, yeah nvm let's jst use this one scene and call it a day. His wings are black instead of white with black tips to further imply lil bro is a fallen angel. Made him doll-like to be similar to his daughter a bit but also they aren't freaking carbon copies of eachother, she is unique I swear guys. He's also not an all powerful being, he has limits, he gets tired quickly and his physical strength is LOW ASF he cannot throw a punch for the life of him. Personality wise, he is judgemental, prideful, and neglectful. But it's okay cuz he's silly 😐 /j he is super different, and it takes years for Charlie and him to be on speaking terms. He's trying, but is that enough?

Lillith!!! The first succubi, from what I know. I didnt include succubi features because I'm an idiot and forgot that was a concept. Sure it may not be canon anymore, or at all maybe, but I would've liked to make it true ☹️ there's not alot known about her in the show and we don't know why she is in heaven (if that's even her tbh). So once we know I'll either rewrite that or keep it as it is, not sure. But this Lillith does own Alastor's soul, she knows that he is one of the most unusual and powerful sinner in hell, so once she flees to heaven she gains his soul to keep an eye on Charlie, in return she gives him influence over hell(being that she influences hell with her voice) The radio station and all, since that's pretty much all he wants. He gives her info on the hotel's progress and how Charlie is doing, she just wants to be there. Personality is uh, calm, ambitious, and generous, yet negatively she is strict and wants things her way. She is the one closest to Charlie and very dear to her, which is why Charlie always tries to call her instead of Eve or Lucifer. Even though Charlie knows now she won't pick up the phone anymore, maybe ever again. It still comforts her to call anyways.

Lastllyy, Eveeee!! She's a pretty silly lil gal. She ate the apple of knowledge, so she was cursed to forever be reminded of it when she sees her tail. Oh yeah, they are also all married! Lillith's ring is under her glove. Anyway, she is pretty powerful despite her having no demon form. She already looks demon enough to fit in. So she does, she goes into pentagram city often and creates bonds with the people. Some know she is Eve and some just see her as a friendly yet powerful individual. Her magic is similar to Charlie's, she got the fireworks coming out of her finger from Eve, and they both can heal their body parts. Charlie doesn't know it because she hasn't needed to yet. Eve uses her charm to be friends with the people of hell, Lillith uses it to gain an army for the fight against heaven, Lucifer couldn't care less and coops himself up in his castle. Personality wise, she is very golden retriever, peaceful, and honest, yet also neglectful being that she spends time with demons rather than her own daughter. (She's barely there with Charlie even before she disappeared along with Lillith. But when they moved to the hotel she tried to make up for it.)

She regretted the marriage. For years.

The potential of Lillith angst is immeasurable, it's painful. Imagine being the first woman, forced into a marriage with a controlling man, falling in love with an angel, the other angels forbidding that, you both try to get Eve to join your relationship, she takes the apple but evil and such take over the world, and then because of your lover's dreams you are all sent to hell. Freaking horrible.

Demon forms!! Charlie gained Lillith's demon form, but I may give her dragon wings to make up for it. Messy doodle I knowww *sob*. Eve doesn't have one because the elder angels stripped that away form her because they were terrified of all of them having stronger forms. They are also ALL cursed with different features. Soo uh, Lucifer has one red eye to remind him of his evil side, he also has all sort of animal details and doll features because he's a mess and a control freak! :3 Lillith has horns, hooves, and a tail because she joined the devil. Eve is blind, the angels ripped her eyes out because she dares to willingly see the devil and his bride, she has wings on each side of her head because she was also a fallen angel(it was hell, because she was unhappy in being Adam's wife, it was temporary as she made herself go to hell instead of being kicked out.) She has a snout and ears too, cuz goat, and a tail with a shape of an apple at the end. Eve was done the worse oh lawwdd 😭😭

BABY CHARLIE!! She at one point HAD to have worn overalls. Right? PLEASE?? I don't know how to draw toddlers bear with me here.

Emo Charlie! Yayy.... she got her period so now she's an adult. 💀 little does she know it's actually a trauma response to being neglected so she tries to get attention by being weird!! 😃👍 (I ruined emo Charlie now)

(I have no idea how to do aesthetics... I'm in pain.)

When I said Lucifer is judgemental, prideful, and neglectful, I meant it. He's a horrible person. But he's trying to be better. That doesn't make him good nor excuse his behavior, he deserves the consequences. Which is why I don't like Lucifer in the show. He is NOT a good person but in one episode he is deprived from the karma of YEARS of neglect and shame. He just says "oh ill support you now" despite two episodes later the message is that actions speak louder than words which only applies to Vaggie for some reason. Why is Lucifer all of a sudden the exception? Oh right cuz he's a silly dad with depression so it's fine(Sorry but this genuinely pisses me off). And people in the fandom have demonized Charlie for being "mean" to him, when she is honestly so valid for reacting like that. The thing is, I don't hate Lucifer. Which is why I hate him if that makes sense. I hate that I like a character that shouldn't be liked yet. This should have been an arc for season 2. This scene should have been the start of the journey. The scene I drew out above is in ep 5 and it's the only interaction they get (it replaces the more than anything scene)

Charlie has no idea how humans/sinners work. She likes to observe them but never quite gets the purpose of their actions. She's emotionally unintelligent like in the show. Which lemme just say, is a FLAW. Characters have FLAWS PEOPLE. If I see another person shaming her for indirectly hurting Angel in episode 4 I'm going to lose it 🥰 she doesn't get emotions, she doesn't understand how people work, because she's been in isolation her entire 200+ years of living maybe less. But still this is all new to her and she is not at fault at all for that (im projecting probably) 🙄 (this is before Vaggie is revealed to be a fallen angel ofc). She's so in awe at her people, it's like a new world and she just wants to understand. It's kinda creepy but y'know it's a Charlie thing. Vaggie also is emotionally unintelligent but that's because she never used to focus on relationships or bonding. Which causes bad communication and problems between the two, YAY DEVELOPMENT!!

Idk bro I just wanted to draw her full demon form again. Uhh from the last time I drew I gave her... a new outfit, darker fur to match her skin, uhh, and dragon wings. Ya thas all but I like this one so much more already lmao. I got the fire hair idea because when she gets angry in the show(+pilot) her hair would defy gravity and it would remind me of yknow.. fire.

They're first meeting went swell! Unlike Lucifer and Vaggie's... but that's for later. Emily grew up afraid of hell but especially Lucifef and turning out the way he did. She still is but she's getting used to having the monster of her bed time stories be a short gummy bear. (Takes place when Charlie and Lucifer are in... better terms I guess) Also, Vaggie and Lucifer's first meet? Not great. Let's just say... Vaggie replaced Alastor and it become "Hell's Greatest Pal" or somthn like that. But yeah, Lucifer didn't really like Vaggie, not because she's a woman n homophobia hellll no his wives are wives, but because he didn't think she was good enough for her. Being a sinner n all. He's a hypocrite like that 😭 plus, he knew Vaggie was a fallen angel but he's not a monster so he didn't say anything. Just passively jabbing at the fact she is in the song to make her scared.

And one last doodle before I sign off!

These six bro... my absolute favorites <3 if you want please send in a request of them and their relationships I'm so desperate I love them sm (especially chaggily butttt lucifers stolen wives(that's the ship name I made 😭) too)

I hope you liked my rambel... my rewrite.... my redesigns.... and my stupidness... have a great day lmao

[katewaliss]

! write with me or fight with me!

you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate

just kidding!

 hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys? 

so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying! 

lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.

thank u and happy hunger games! xx

COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open! 

my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano

i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )

we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,

and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell, 

i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever

- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot

- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that ) 

-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST

also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out

SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST

other stuff

ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi

speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN

jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo 

UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down

i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad 

pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!

GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES

any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn 

i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!

anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad 

i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters

iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc

i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo

i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama

rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love 

i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy 

speaking of!

no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!

i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do 

not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys 

rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?

idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent 

[kurtty-drabbles]

Blue Kitty au (?)

N/A: Not sure if I´ll continue with this au- I have some concerns regards Tus Tsu Kurt- but a fic from Meg Harmmerman sort give me a small inspiration to make this chapter- Remember when Kitty was being mocked by Logan and Kurt? I´d not know the canon and don´t care for that Bitch.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @muninandhugin

Elizabeth Braddock is helping Doug with the lunches, or how she likes to call, scones- Elizabeth Braddock is ruthless as she can be kinder and is a measure so well balanced that many men have the strange impulse to view her as unbalanced- and while using telekinesis to cut a piece of bread (smiling happily at Doug clear innocence at her powers) Kitty watches the scene amused.

"Hello, Kitty" Elizabeth responds kindly while still helping Doug with the food- once her part is done, she turns to face the azzure woman- plus giving a friendly vibe. Kitty can grin back. "Hey, guys, I saw you two working here" she points to the kitchen´s window where one can see the X-men playing Baseball or their new version of Baseball. "And since I´m not a sports gal..."

"Oh, we´re already are finished here..." Betsy explains kindly- she can recall the times' Brian would try to steal a cookie from her, a bad decision for lil Brian- and Kitty shakes her head even scratching a bit-let a sheepish grin form in her round face-and now has a messy hairstyle (it so typical of Dazzler that one may assume she has a trademark or something)

"Uhm, I was hoping if you could teach me...I´m not...a good cooker" Kitty confessed- memories flow in her mind as she can see so sharply as kids are making face at her food and muttering words to themselves and pointing at Kitty "Xeno, Xeno" - and Kitty shakes her head. Out of mind, out of the heart.

Elizabeth agrees and calls Kitty over as she´ll teach her how to cook.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Rouge is an excellent player - even if she´s not very fond of Baseball, but, she can pretend like no one else- and is loving the fact she can hold hands with Longshot, under the guidance of explaining the rules, can relish the fact Longshot is not in pain or anything.

"So, I have to use this bat to play?" Longshot looks at the bat for a minute- no longer touching Rogue´s hand as he´s thoroughly investigating the bat as if trying to understand its secrets- is not one to give up on the game even if it´s confusing for him and waves at Alisson who is coming at Rogue´s direction with a fake smile.

"Dazzler! Ah was just teaching Longshot a thing or two" Rogue suggested in a tone a bit too provocative and Alisson is not happy with this.

"Yeah, I see it...why you don´t go back to the game?" she grins forcibly as the two women stare at each other with clear bad intentions to each other- the smiles are too forced to anyone to even mistaken as anything but veiled contempt- and is time to return to the game.

Jean Grey is not impressed to see Dazzler and Rogue ended up fighting even by the fact...they´re on the same team.

________________________________________________________________________________________

She´s here for a week now.

Such are the thoughts plaguing on his mind lately, one week where his golden eyes can see Kitty "Blue Baby" Pryde gliding, running and doing everything else under this mansion´s roof- a blue woman who is not Mystique, and Kurt is not sure how to act- and to take his mind out of this woman he goes to train with Logan in the Danger Room.

However, fates aren´t so kind as Kurt see Kitty "Blue Baby" entering in the danger room with snacks in her hand- a small trial and Kurt wonders if she made it or not or even if it makes any difference- as she approaches them with a smile and says that the snacks are for them.

Logan is either taking Kurt´s turmoil or is in a trolling mood because his response is the following. "You? made food? Yeah right" and waves his hand in a rude gesture-not that Logan was an ever-classy man- and continues. "Pass...already dealt with a bad simulation and don´t need to eat the Miss terror´s food to ruin the day" and he completes with his impish grin(isn´t that Kurt´s grin? Kurt is not sure)

Kurt remains in silence and if Kitty would cry or be angry as Logan was expecting, well, Logan is wrong. "Ah, I see. Yeah...my food is not that good" she concedes. "Ah, Logan...Mr. MCcoy told me your regeneration abilities is top-notch...you ever regrow an arm" and she adds a bit innocently and waits as if Logan is a teacher ready to bestow her with secret knowledge.

Logan chuckles- throwing his head as he laughs harder- and states that yes, his healing abilities are that good. "Still don´t want to try your food..." he stops talking as Kitty shoots him with her laser from her hands.

She looks at Kurt and narrows her eyes. "More snacks to me then..." and she leaves, stomping furiously and not paying attention to Piotr who enters the Danger Room and is watching Logan slowly emerging from the crater on the wall.

[cry-stars]

Creator 2017 Tag

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

Thank you @xmissmichix and @just-a-strange-gal for tagging me! This has been a rather big year for me in terms of creative works, so I’m excited to talk about that!

1: Responsibilities (May)

After getting into FMA last January/February, I started to get active on Tumblr and in May participated in an event celebrating mothers and motherly figures in FMA for Mothers’ Day. Naturally, I had to write a homunculus story, and even though none of the homunculi are particularly motherly, I had fun writing about Lust and Envy’s relationships with Gluttony, since both of them (Lust in particular) seem fond of him. It’s not at all my best story; it was written in a hurry and isn’t as introspective as I’d like, but it still gets kudos now and then and it’s important for being my first homunculus family story (and my first story from Envy’s POV).

2: Golden Child (July)

This got really popular?? At least for one of my stories, which I was really surprised by. I had the bright idea to bring in my favourite “villain-turned-weird-uncle” trope and make Kimblee have some friendly interaction with the Golden Trio. Kimblee’s interaction with Ed has always been very interesting to me; they have such great conflict, and Kimblee’s interaction with Winry is even more interesting to me. He really did seem to have a soft spot for her, in my eyes. I wanted to see how Kimblee would deal with having to be around these kids, and if by having a few people who cared about him, his heart might be touched in a way that it might otherwise not be. Now if only I could figure out how to continue this...!!

3: Quandary (September)

This year has been a big year for my writing, mainly because I’ve never shipped something before in the way that I’ve shipped Kimvy. Romance normally makes me nervous or uncomfortable, so writing something not-so-platonic has definitely been something that has pushed me out of my comfort zone. While “Ambivalence” was my first foray into romantic territory, my early chapters (while I still like and stand by them) were kind of stuck in an expository “this is how they met” style because of the way that I felt a need to justify the ship. I’ve realized by now that the story that I want to tell is about developing their relationship past what’s in canon, not explaining how they got there, and that’s why “Ambivalence” got stuck in a rut. With “Quandary,” I felt like I could let loose a little because of the way that others also were during the FMA rarepair week. Although some of the stuff in there is a bit silly and embarrassing, I generally really like the tone that I got with those four stories, and I think that it really paved the way for what I’m doing with my big Kimvy WIP. I’ve got Kimblee and Envy’s messed-up dynamic down, and now I’m set to help them move beyond the conflict.

4: (Drawn in October)

Another thing that I owe to Kimvy is my attempts to get better at drawing. I tend to get all despondent about the lack of content for the ship and so I try to make my own. I’ve been drawing them over and over in my notebook at almost every break and lunch at work during my summer job, so finally I got good enough to draw them interacting. It’s still not very good, but it’s definitely a lot better than I used to be. Also, it’s funny what comes across when you’re drawing as opposed to when you’re writing. Envy isn’t nearly so much of a tsundere in my stories but when it comes to the drawings... XD

5: (Drawn in December)

I posted this one recently, but it’s definitely the most adventurous pose that I’ve ever drawn, especially with both of their legs. My mum was reading aloud an Advent story before Christmas, and I worked on this every time she read for quite awhile--that was a good excuse to draw or else I probably wouldn’t have done it. 

Thanks again! If @distant-glory and @shocotate would like to do this then please feel free to!

[allbeendonebefore]

Caroline and Edith: A Brief Intro

I figured I don’t talk enough about the gals so I will do so here because i can’t concentrate and wanted to write about them for like a year

about: the concept of nyo characters and 2p characters is a thing in canon hetalia and the fandoms- i’m not terribly fond of 2p as its been characterized by the fandom (as sort of two dimensional ‘bad’ versions) and have only treated it jokingly thus far, but i have for whatever reason been curious about gender bending/sliding/swapping. I personally like personifications to /mean/ something and not simply give them a different gender, so I personally have thought of nyo and on occasion 2p personifications as different aspects of one city. In the case of ‘fem ed’ and ‘fem cal’, they represent former municipalities that are absorbed into existing ones. Some people do this with their nyo!characters, some people don’t, it’s just a personal preference of mine that I think gives an extra dimension and twist to just popping existing characters into different clothes. Basically, they look similar after having lived together so long (the joke being that to people outside the city they are basically the same thing) and they have a sort of adopted sibling relationship though they are not biologically related. 

and now the gals

fyi i know more off the top of my head about edith because i’m a u of a alumna and grew up on the south side literally on campus so therefore a little biased :^) Do i have interest in creating nyo characters for other alberta ocs? idk - i have a slight interest but idk if i have the time or energy to invest in characters who aren’t as familiar or immediately important. It’s more a development that comes after a lot of research and local knowledge. But anyway, without further ado, here are some facts.

Edith / Fem!Edmonton / Old Strathcona / South Edmonton

History

- once an independent and successful city (Strathcona), joined Edmonton in 1912 for tax benefits. 

- Now exists as Old Strathcona - most well known for being the home of the University and Whyte Ave as well as Rachel Notley’s stronghold - typically the only riding in the province to consistently vote NDP in both provincial and federal elections. Hipster central (though is slowly losing that status to Ed and 124th street on the North side). 

- was given the University of Alberta to compromise between Ed/Cal, but Ed ended up getting it anyway.

- represents the area on the south side of the North Saskatchewan. As a result she has more Blackfoot heritage where Ed has more Cree heritage. Also home to a lot of Metis people who fled Red River. Really sad because Laurent Garneau’s tree just got brought down ToT

- got the railroad that ed was supposed to get because the CPR was too lazy to build a bridge. only some vague bitter feelings between her and ed over this but they’ve gotten over it - ed is making sure to hold on to the old railway tracks Just In Case.

- Fought really hard in the 1970s to keep her heritage buildings and status during a time when the city was ready to tear it all down. Still really rankled by new developments.

Looks/Personality/Interests

- round hips and buff legs, narrow torso, not-quite-flat chest. Basically shaped like a bowling pin if a bowling pin was pointy, or alternatively, shaped like the Strathcona Public Building 

- always has her hair up when not at home, most usually in a bun. Cats eye glasses which she actually does use to see. 

- Younger than Ed but grew up faster than him. Is still taller than him today (but only slightly). Generally more blunt, more fashionable, more open and outspoken politically, and less of a worry wart. Technically closer to Cal in age.

- cat person, tea drinker, and so many tattoos. probably piercings. i haven’t figured it out. seems to manage to eat cake at block 1912 and all the trendy instagrammable foods and drinks every day and yet has no obvious source of income. Seems to disappear into that mysterious door just off Whyte labeled “SECRET LOCATION, DO NOT ENTER” (aka a local brewery’s secret hq a close walk from the old railway station which has since been converted into a beer market). Her personal style is more rockabilly than explicitly hipster- there are a lot of retro dress shops in old Strath + tattoos + leather because Alberta

- volunteers at fringe every year and probably on a first name basis with nathan fillion. fringe/acting is her life. Has an expansive and expressive theatre ability on stage, but off it she’s just kind of ‘meh’ and indifferent and private.

- is at the farmer’s market every saturday, probably selling stuff ed has grown

- lives in an old Edwardian heritage home somewhere in Old Strath, has a fluffy white cat, bikes or takes transit everywhere.  

- likes to weld weird abstract metal... things?

- Likely the one who caused the political Orange Crush for Ed, but could care less about the Orange Crush of the sporting world. Literally could not care less about hockey because of the bad riots they cause on Whyte that keep her up at night - ‘literally no amount of alcohol is going to fix this for either of us, go home’. Her sporting passion is actually basketball and roller derby, but nobody knows that because she doesn’t tell anyone. Doesn’t ride horses, (if she does, it’s English style riding), but really loved betting on them back in the day. Has a lot of FC Edmonton merch and watches soccer games, but gave up on lacrosse when the Rush moved to Saskatchewan and broke her heart. In general, she loathes organized sport and Especially the NHL, but will watch U of A Pandas/Golden Bears games because they are cheap and accessible. 

- sex positive, just not interested in discussing her own sex life or those of people she knows. I tend to think of her as aroace-spectrum (i.e. sex neutral or favourable in certain contexts, not interested in long term romance. No gender preference. Doesn’t like dating people she knows/friends.) She recently started hosting Pride herself and it has been a great success. Only enters adult stores if they are cute and queer friendly.

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Caroline / Fem!Calgary / Bowness / Northwest Calgary

History

- Used to be part of Cochrane Ranch in the golden age of cattle ranching. Grew up with kind of a southern belle/debutante lifestyle that hasn’t totally left her. 

- Younger than Cal, grew up in the golden age of ranching and in the middle of massive immigration. 

- that is, both she and calvin were raised in ranch houses learning to play croquet and polo and dressing well and having tea and so on and so forth - Caro in some ways moreso than Calvin who had previously grown up in the old NWMP fort as well and knew differently- slightly more about Calgary-the-wild/mild-west-frontier

- The ranch was later divided up into recreational parks and ice skating rinks and golf courses and houses and things - though it wasn’t part of the city, people from Calgary would come up to visit all the time by streetcar as a little mini ‘escape’. Met a lot of famous people during this period, including Fred McCall the ace wartime pilot who would fly her and Cal out to Banff for day trips 

- Joined Calgary in 1964 because the nearby town of Montgomery had already done so, so why not. 

- still has really strong class divides due to the history of the area

Looks / Personality / Interests

- Though she’s sort of a prairie princess in some ways, Caro really embraces the “tough flannel wearing” sort of image of western ladies who would ride all day to get to a dance in another town. She’s still very insistent on presenting herself as feminine and well to do, but she can’t shake the country image no matter how hard she may try to play big city socialite.

- Tall like Calvin, only slightly shorter than him. Freckles, more obvious and more numerous than Calvin’s. Pretty much an hourglassy figure and a little bit busty (c cup because the city’s dumb obsession with cs get it). When I draw her i have that terrible quote from Destroy All Humans stuck in my head i.e. “would you get a load of this brassiere? i could torpedo a uboat with these things!” because I guess I also think of her as a post-war suburban housewife secretly.

- Usually has her hair in a loose side braid but will attempt fancier up-dos for social events. It’s wavy and relatively long, past her shoulders. Pierced ears, likes long dangly earrings and Expensive jewelry. I tend to look at the Library when I draw her - I like the round wheely shapes from its history as an ATV shop and use those as jewelry, so its like Long and Round shapes for her body but she also has a pokey chin/nose/fingers etc like Calvin.

- she tries to keep her fashion sense in that sort of light and airy feminine zone but she still gets all her dresses and blouses from Lammles. Will Absolutely rock the full western jeans and flannel during stampede or on vacation in the mountains, but in the city she tries to keep it more urban and/or professional.

- bigger fan of sports than Edith, Extremely into hockey and is a Serious supporter of the Calgary Inferno. Only wears jerseys on game day, but has one in each colour for each team.

- her political views are slowly ~seeming~ to shift- being a typically right wing conservative stronghold was upset in the 2015 election and she now lives in an NDP riding which is Very Interesting. It was a split between NDP/Cons/WR 5:5:3 so you could argue the right-wing vote outnumbered the left wing 8:5, but it’s still Very Interesting, thanks First Past the Post. Generally like Calvin she is a True Blue Conservative, though she might lean more towards WR and he leans more Liberal (shocker, I know). But I won’t be able to figure out whether she’d be a UCP voter yet so we will have to Wait and See who she hates more xDD  

- that said, like many Albertans and particularly those in urban areas, Caro is fiscally conservative and socially liberal. She does take a longer time to understand issues that don’t obviously affect her and for that reason she is the sort of person to deny the feminist label even though she really aligns with it, but she’s learning. Generally really traditional and embraces femininity and the division of labour between genders, etc. WASPy. 

- generally very no-nonsense and more biting verbally than Calvin, but also very much a romantic. She can be the PTA wine mom of your worst nightmares or the harlequin heroine of your dreams, just try not to get on her bad side. She likes numbers and finances because they are straight forward and say what they mean.

- I’m still divided on where she lives. Calvin is the one with the penthouse downtown, Caroline is the one in the suburbs but she probably still owns ranchland that she likes to supervise even if she doesn’t actually live there. All her horses are named after horses from Heartland or something, probably. Dog person. Hangs out in Edworthy Park to meet dogs, probably.

- literally both the girl in pumps and a pencil skirt who drives a car2go to get groceries and also the girl in rhinestone studded boots who drives a big black truck with a huge pink flowery cursive ‘oil wife’ decal on the back window, or the pink flowery cursive ‘dirty money’ across the top.

- literally to understand caroline-as-socialite pls just watch gavin crawford’s wild west - the oil wife [part one] [part two] i swear to god i cry laughing every time at ‘how about a western theme- how about not’. Everything gets me but especially the passive aggressive ordering-dessert-for-everyone and staring them down until she gets her way. You know what, just watch all of the shorts, it’s a brilliant series.

[one-of-us-blog]

Pilot: The Golden Palace (TGP, Episode 1)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap The Golden Palace, the pilot episode of the series of the same name, a spin-off of The Golden Girls!  That’s right, we have a whole new series, and a whole new adventure for the gals; or rather, for most of them.  But will a risky and impulsive business venture lead to a life of luxury, or hardship?  And more importantly, can this show sustain the charm and wit of its predecessor?  Keep reading to find out…

I say, Drew, you did an absolutely smashing job with your recap of Octopussy, old boy!  You were even quite generous in disregarding a distasteful scene or two.  We now reach the moment in this project in which I have to tolerate the very unofficial Never Say Never Again entering the conversation before returning for the final Moore film, but I suppose it’s worth it to hear your thoughts.  For the readers at home, here is an updated list of Drew’s franchise faves thus far ( really love the variety here): Best Bond: Roger Moore (Live and Let Die) Best Villain: Ernst Stavro Blofeld (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service) Best Henchman: Jaws (Moonraker) Best Bond Girl: Melina Havelock (For Your Eyes Only) Best Gadget: Submersible Crocodile (Octopussy) Best Opening Scene: The Man with the Golden Gun Best Song: For Your Eyes Only Best Title Sequence: Live and Let Die

And now, without further ado, we have a new show to tackle.  Let’s head (back) to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Susan Harris, directed by Terry Hughes

Before the episode gets underway, we are treated to a perfectly awful version of our beloved theme song, and opening credits that let us know that both Don Cheadle and Cheech Marin will be co-starring in this series.  Neat!  We then open on the familiar Miami household we have grown to love, but something is amiss.  A band of thieves appears to be robbing the girls blind!  Actually, movers are carrying everything out of the house, while Rose, Blanche, and Sophia say goodbye to the place (and the local populace bids farewell to Blanche’s bed).  Rose begins to have second thoughts about whatever is taking place here, and Blanche has to give her a paper bag to ward off a panic attack.  We finally get the rundown, and learn that the girls are moving out and buying a hotel.  I’m not sure what they know about that line of work, but perhaps the absence of their dear friend Dorothy has prompted a collective three-quarter-life crisis.  Regardless, it sounds like we’re in for an adventure!

We cut to a hotel, The Golden Palace, where an obnoxious kid named Oliver (played by Billy Sullivan) is pestering his beleaguered foster dad, Roland (played by Don Cheadle), an employee of the establishment.  They are both worried about whether or not they will be allowed to remain at the hotel under its new management.  The girls arrive to check out the situation with their investment, which they apparently didn’t bother to do before agreeing to buy the joint.  Roland, not realizing he is addressing his bosses, isn’t particularly friendly as a result of all the stress, but his tone changes when he learns who they are.  Blanche asks for the director, and Roland reveals that he’s the head honcho (really, just about the only honcho), and they in turn reveal that they know basically nothing about running a hotel.  Roland runs away to deliver some towels, Sophia heads off to talk to the kitchen staff, and Rose goes to look into the housekeeping situation.  Meanwhile. Blanche has a chat with young Oliver, and is surprised to discover that he lives and works there.  He throws himself at her mercy, but Blanche seems unwilling to let him hang around, at least not without a little flattery.  Rose returns without any luck finding housekeepers, and she and Blanche are suddenly called to the kitchen, where Sophia is having a standoff with the chef, Chuy (played by Cheech Marin).  He tries to scare the girls out of his kitchen, but Sophia stands up to him and a power struggle ensues.  Chuy specializes in Mexican cuisine, but she tells him that the new menu will consist exclusively of Italian fare.  As a result of the showdown, Chuy quits and leaves, and Sophia is left questioning her actions.

It isn’t long before Blanche is on the phone with her lawyer, attempting to back out of hotel ownership.  Roland has set her straight about the prior owners, who showed fake profits on paper to make the hotel seem more lucrative to buyers, while in reality it was struggling to stay afloat.  They only have one shot to stay afloat temporarily as a band of wandering travel agents is coming for an event, and if they aren’t happy with the accommodations they receive, the whole place could go under.  Blanche goes back to the hotel kitchen to tell the other gals the bad news, and Sophia catches on quickly.  They have just acquired the place, but they could lose it all in as little as a week.  Rose wishes that Dorothy were there to help her beat up Blanche, since the whole debacle was her idea.

After a brief pause, we find Rose and Sophia still yelling at Blanche, but she insists that they are all in this together and will just have to make it work.  They have no employees beyond Roland, Chuy (who just quit), and a part-time housekeeper (not counting young Oliver), and no money to hire anyone new, so the girls will just have to pitch in themselves.  Rose and Sophia are ready to work together, but mostly just to cause bodily harm to their friend.  Blanche goes to mingle with whoever she can and runs into Brad, the pool man.  They owe him some money for her services, but Blanche employs her customary flattery to convince him to give them another month’s leeway.  Brad is only a man, after all, and agrees.  Hey, maybe she’s cut out for this business after all!

Cutting to the evening of the big event, we find our band of heroes working away, but one picky travel agent has already complained about his food and sent it back to the kitchen.  Ma Petrillo isn’t a big fan of culinary criticism, so she goes to face her tormenter and serves him the exact same food (under the guise of a new meal) to prove that he is full of it.  To her credit (or his discredit, really), it works.  While this is transpiring, Rose is working the front desk while a masked man attempts to rob the place, but thankfully she is so oblivious as to his intentions that he gives up and leaves.  Sophia, back in the kitchen, does her best to keep up with the insatiable travel agents, but she really needs some help.  Thankfully, Chuy shows back up to ask for his job back.  Sophia of course makes him beg for it, but quickly relents when he says that he’s hot for her.  He has the job, as long as he keeps pretending to be attracted, and the hotel will presumably now feature some bangin’ fusion cuisine.

The ordeal finally ends, and all the girls are wiped out, especially Sophia.  But the travel agents were happy, and Blanche reveals that they made enough money to pay their monthly debts for the hotel, so they’ll be okay…at least for now.  The trio has an exciting new life ahead of them, and even though it will be difficult, it gives Rose a sense of purpose, and Sophia says that at least it will give her something to do.  They raise their glasses in a toast to life, happiness, and each other.

For the pilot’s conclusion, Roland, Chuy, and Oliver join the girls in the kitchen for some late night cheesecake, a tradition to which they will have to become accustomed.  Everyone seems to be in good spirits, and the newbies even ask Rose to share some stories about her hometown.  Blanche and Sophia flee, and leaving the others to learn a valuable lesson.

The End.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to like this episode.  I had a great time with the full ensemble of Golden Girls, but Bea Arthur remained my favorite throughout, and I just wasn’t sure there was enough justification for the show to go on without her, especially with the gimmick of hotel ownership.  I also hated the idea of leaving their Miami home behind, because as hard as it was to say goodbye to Dorothy, it was just as hard to think of the remaining girls abandoning the place that helped to bring them together.  But those concerns aside, I was surprised to discover that I had a pretty good time with the episode!  It seems like the trio we still have are embodying their roles just as much as ever, and it didn’t hurt that Susan Harris, the creator of the original show, returned to write the pilot for this one.  I’m still not sure how I feel about the additional cast members, but you could do a lot worse than adding Don Cheadle and Cheech Marin to your cast.  While I doubt that the show will be able to reach the heights of its predecessor, and I could definitely feel the absence of a very important part of their comedic and dramatic formula for success, this could have been a train wreck, so I’m going to throw the episode an extra half point for being better than it had any right to be.  I’m giving the pilot of The Golden Palace a rating of 3.5 poofy hairdos out of 5!

Drew will be back before you know it with his take on the unofficial, non-canonical Bond film Never Say Never Again, and then I will return with a recap of Promotional Considerations, the next episode of The Golden Palace.  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!