#when do they find time to note anything ?? we don't know !!

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 7

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible. Also Retconning from Nesta's Spring Birthday to like late November, just because otherwise my plot doesn't work.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

Sky had kinda waited for the two of them to have screeching arguments…as soon as the happy bubble of a new mating bond fell away. 

But…nothing of that sort had happened.

“Let’s just keep it just for us for a little while,” he had whispered and she had agreed, curled up in his arms. Just them.

Just for a little while. Nobody else’s opinion did really matter after all. And she knew that there would be numerous opinion be had about the fact that hse had met her mate and then moved in with him in the span of less than a day…and that the two of them were utterly and deliriously happy since then. 

Just the two of them - at least for a little while longer. Sky knew that they would have to tell their friends and family eventually, that they couldn't stay in their little bubble forever, but she was in no rush. The world could wait. For now, she was perfectly content to just be with Azriel.

And they didn’t fight. About anything. 

It was...weird. 

She was waiting for arguments. She was waiting for screaming and to be told that she wasn’t enough…for him to finally realie that he had made a grave mistake…but nothing happened. 

He didn’t care that she stuffed all his bookcases with her books…or rather that his shadows did, painstakingly replicating the order she had had in her little apartment. 

Azriel even made nice with Hector and bought him tuna, jut for her sake…

She had caught Azriel and Hector curled up on the couch together last week - Azriel reading a book and Hector sprawled on his lap. She'd stared at them for a long moment. He had let Hector drool all over his shirt. Azriel had looked up at her with a sheepish grin when he noticed her staring. "He's very cuddly," he'd said, as if that was all the explanation that was needed.

Sky had just laughed, shaking her head as she made her way over to them, sitting down next to Azriel. She had rested her head on his shoulder, reaching out to pet the cat. Hector purred loudly in approval, nudging his head against Sky's hand, and she couldn't help but smile.

Azriel kept odd hours for his work, sometimes disappearing in the middle of the night or coming home then too…but Sky did too, so it didn’t bother her.

He always made time for her - making them breakfast or bringing her coffee or leaving little notes for her. 

And she horded it all away like a dragon did with it’s hoard, wanting to enjoy that just a little while longer. 

Sky made sure to do the same for him. She knew he never slept much, so she always left a cup of tea by his bed if he was late in returning, and always left some food for him… She found him a new salve for the scars on his hand, massaging it in with all the patience in the world when he admitted to her that the muscles and joints hurt as it got colder… She bought him sweets from the same little shop in the Rainbow she got her own stash of caramel candies from… She wanted to take care of him, even if she knew Azriel would never ask for it.

She loved the way he held her, as if he would never let her go. She loved the way he whispered her name as he kissed down her body, and the way he held her once they were finished, his wings wrapping around them and cocooning her in warmth. Sky had never imagined that she could be loved like this, but Azriel made her feel like she was the most precious thing in the world.

And if Azriel wasn’t there…the shadows were.

They had become her constant companions - sliding beneath doors and around walls and windows, following her through the house. At first, the shadows had been startling, but she had quickly grown used to them - they seemed to relish draping themselves over her, wrapping around her wrists, her ankles, her shoulders. The shadows would stroke at her face and whisper her name, and Sky had taken to speaking to them as well, asking them about Azriel or if they could bring her things or fetch Hector.

It was...nice not being alone anymore. Sky had never realized how lonely she had been in her little apartment, but now that she had the shadows - and Azriel - she didn’t want to go back. She loved the way the shadows seemed to watch over her, always present even if Azriel was not. And in their own way, the shadows cared for her too, always there to provide a steadying or comforting presence - or to bring her a cup of tea, or fetch her a book she needed for research...

And besides, the shadows were much better at moving furniture than Sky was. She had quickly learned that if she needed something rearranged or moved and Azriel was not around to do it, the shadows were more than happy to help.

But most of all, the shadows had come to represent Azriel to her - they were always with her, always watching over her, and she knew that even if Azriel could not be there, the shadows would always look out for her. They would keep her safe. 

It was a strange and unexpected sense of comfort, but Sky had come to cherish it. She never felt truly alone anymore, not with the shadows constantly at her back, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

And if Azriel was there…well.

The sex was better than anything she had ever imagined.

Sometimes she woke up to him between her thighs, right in the middle of throes of her pleasure, her whole body still heavy with sleep and drenched with wetness. 

He made her feel wanted, desired in a way that she had never experienced before. He never tired of her, always wanting to be close her, and she never tired of him. Every touch felt like a new discovery, and Sky was learning Azriel’s body like she had never learned anything else in her life, learning what made him moan and tremble and beg for more. She loved the way he touched her, the way he kissed her, and the way he whispered her name as he moved inside her.

But it wasn't just about the physical pleasure.

After sex…when it was just the two of them curled up in their bed, his wings wrapped around her, his head bedded on body more often than not…they talked. A truth for a truth.

She learned more about him. About his horrible sweet tooth. About the scars that covered his hands…she had traced them one evening and he had looked at her…looked at her in wonder.

He opened up to her about so many things, telling her stories from his childhood, about the horrors of the war, and about his family. Sky listened to all of it, her heart breaking for all the pain and suffering he had endured, and vowing to spend the rest of her life making him happy. And in turn, she shared her own stories with him, telling him things she had never told anyone else. It felt...good to let go of all the secrets and burdens she had carried for so long, and to know that Azriel was there to listen and to understand.

He never once cared about her stuttering. Never once rushed her.

Though she could feel… she felt so safe with him…that the stutter eased. Still there but sometimes she could go whole sentences without stuttering once..

Azriel was always patient with her, letting her take her time when she needed it, and never making her feel rushed. And to her surprise, her stutter had eased, bit by bit.

It was a strange feeling, not having to struggle through every word, to speak without fear of being judged or laughed at. And Azriel never drew attention to it, never made her feel as if she was something to be pitied or fixed. He just accepted her for who she was - stutter and all.

Sky was…so very grateful for that. She could trust Azriel with her deepest fears and insecurities, and he would always be there for her, supporting her and encouraging her. And in turn, she would do the same for him.

Being with him was so easy.

So easy, and so natural. It felt like they had been together for years, not just weeks. She couldn't imagine her life without Azriel, and she never wanted to. He made her laugh, and he made her feel loved and he wanted her.

That was probably the most startling thing.  

Sky was working on her desk, that overlooked the lake, while Azriel preferred to work upstairs in his office, and a cup of tea was gently put down next to her, a kiss pressed against the crown of her head. She couldn’t help but lean back into him with a happy sigh, tipping up her head, turning towards Azriel and letting him kiss her properly.

“Sky?” He asked softly as she leaned into the touch of the hand on her shoulder.

She hummed in answer.

“Isn’t one of your books coming out soon?” Azriel asked her softly.

“In three weeks, just in time for winter solstice shopping,” Sky answered absentmindedly. “Why?”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, his hand still resting on her shoulder. "How high are the chances that I could…have an early copy?" Azriel asked, sounding nearly hesitant.

Sky turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. "You want an early copy of my book?" she asked, curious. Azriel's nod was immediate. A slow smile spread across Sky's face. "You want to read it?” she asked him hesitantly. He wanted to read her book? 

“I do want to read it. And I also have a friend who adores your books and her birthday is coming up…” Azriel said softly. “She’s important to me. Like a little sister. Her name is Nesta. And I think she may be your biggest fan.”

Sky blinked in surprise, touched by Azriel's words. She knew how much Azriel cared about his family, and to hear him describe Nesta as a little sister was...well, it was sweet. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of pride knowing that her books had made such an impression on someone so important to him.

She opened the drawer of her desk and pulled out one of the dozen or so she had stashed in there. At his surprised look she just shrugged. “I always get a few from the first print run,” she said drily.

Azriel took the book from her hands, his gaze softening as he looked down at the cover. "Thank you," he said quietly, his fingers tracing over the embossed title of the book. "I know she'll love it."

“Just tell her to please not let the newspaper get their hands on it,” Sky said drily, making him laugh. 

“She’ll protect this book fiercely,” he told her sagely. “Would you…sign it?” Azriel asked her. 

Sky hesitated. She had never once signed any of her books. Had never written the name Sellyn Drake as an autograph. 

But for Azriel...she could do it. For Nesta. 

So she took the book back, dipped her quill in her ink, flicking it off twice, and then wrote a short message to Nesta - wishing her a happy birthday and hoping that she enjoyed the book. 

Sky signed Sellyn Drake at the bottom, the movement feeling surprisingly natural… and felt strangely vulnerable as she handed the book back to Azriel.

Azriel looked down at the inscription, reading it over carefully before looking back at Sky. "Thank you," he said again, his voice soft and tender. "This means a lot to me, and to her."

Sky felt a warm glow settle over her, and she knew in that moment that she would do anything for Azriel. Anything to make him happy.

“You are very welcome,” she said simply.

He leaned down and kissed her, and Sky melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Azriel's neck and pulling him closer. For a moment, the world outside their little bubble of happiness seemed to fall away, leaving only the two of them.

***

“It seems like we need to come to some sort of agreement,” Azriel said tightly.

Hector the cat was staring at him with one eye and doing his best to intimidate him into life-long obedience, from where he was sitting in front of Azriel, who was sitting on the couch. 

"I am not going to stop sleeping in Sky's bed," he told the cat, crossing his arms. "I am not going to stop cuddling with her." Hector hissed at him in response, clearly not a fan of the fact that Azriel was going to stick around. 

It was a potential problem. Azriel glared at the ugly cat.

If it even was a cat. Sometimes he wasn't quite sure. Maybe it was a stunted Mountain Lion. It was quite big for a normal cat. And uglier than that.

"You know, I am not above pretending to be allergic to you," he told the cat drily. Especially if Hector kept scratching him.

Hector shot him a disdainful look, clearly not worried. And then swiped out a paw to smack at Azriel's naked feet, claws carefully withdrawn. 

Azriel scowled down at the cat. "You're lucky Sky loves you so much," he muttered, glaring at Hector.

"We can agree to get along. I'll buy you that ridiculous expensive Tuna you like and you can come join us when we cuddle on the couch. Or we can draw a line in the sand and see who comes out on top." Azriel raised an eyebrow.

Drily he reflected that this was how far he had come. Trying to bargain with the ugliest cat he had ever seen.

Hector stared back at him for a moment, before finally letting out a "Meow" as if to say, "Fine, fine, you can stay - for now." 

Azriel let out a sigh of relief, glad that the cat had finally agreed to some sort of truce. And he knew that Sky would be happy too - she loved that mangly cat more than anything. So he would put up with Hector - for Sky's sake.

Hector smacked him on the arm and crawled into his lap.

Azriel hesitantly petted his head. “You do realize you weigh a ton, right?” he told the cat drily.

Sky had told him that he had been all skin and bones when she had found him. Yeah, that was definitely no longer true.

Hector rolled over on his back, demanding belly rubs.

Azriel sighed, shaking his head as he reluctantly obliged, rubbing Hector's belly, where the cat’s fur was patchy. 

 Azriel couldn't deny that the cat was oddly endearing, even if he would never admit it out loud. And as Hector purred contentedly in his lap, Azriel couldn't help but smile.

Maybe he could put up with this cat after all. For Sky's sake, of course.

Just for Sky. 

Just for Sky's sake, he bought the cat ridiculous expensive treats, a scratching post and toys.

And he found that, as the weeks went on, he didn't mind as much when Hector would jump into bed with them in the middle of the night, curling up next to Sky. Or when he would bat at Azriel's toes while he read.

Nobody ever needed to know when he asked Gwyn to help him find some books about cats and their proper nourishment and exercise.

"Thank you," he thanked the red headed priestess when she handed him a whole stack of them at the end of their next private dagger lesson.

"No, thank you.  Finally I can pay you back for all the dagger lessons," Gwyn said with a bright grin. "Are you...Are you thinking about adopting a cat?" she asked him curiously.

"No. A friend did," he answered truthfully.

"Making nice with it then?" Gwyn asked him and he sighed.

"I am pretty sure the cat plots my murder on a daily basis," he answered only half joking.

Gwyn laughed, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Have you tried giving it treats?" Gwyn suggested helpfully.

Azriel opened his mouth to respond but at that moment, Rhys landed just a few feet away. Probably training with Cassian early in the morning, before they did their usual training with the priestesses and Valkyries.

"I even bought him ridiculously overpriced, fresh tuna," he admitted drily, making her laugh.

"Good luck with your bribes," Gwyn said with another laugh. "See you later, shadowsinger," she said with a wave over her shoulder. Azriel looked after her for a moment and then passed over to one of the weapon racks, starting his usual inspection.

"Dagger Lessons?" Rhys asked him, as he crossed over to him. 

"Yes," Azriel agreed. He could hear the inflection in Rhys' voice, a lilting question. He didn't even want to know what Rhys was thinking.

"Just With Gwyn?" Rhys asked, tone still carefully neutral.

Azriel sighed, turning to face his friend. "Yes, just with Gwyn," he confirmed. Azriel kept his tone neutral, almost indifferent.

Azriel went back to his dagger inspection, keeping his mind focused on the task at hand.

He could feel Rhys's eyes on him, but he didn't waver. He knew his brother well enough to know that Rhys was trying to get a reaction out of him. And je wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of a response.

Azriel didn't need to wait long. He could feel the talons of Rhys' daemati powers scratch against his mental shields just moments later. He let him in with a sigh. Was he officially going to get warned off Gwyn as well? 

Apparently Azriel was.

*If you want more from her, don't you dare pressuring her,* Rhys snapped into his mind.

Azriel nearly started to bristle. He wondered if Rhys even thought about how much of an insult it was. Ever thought of what it meant that he thought that Azriel would pressure Gwyn in anything she didn’t want. 

But he just answered flatly. *Then it will calm you to know that I couldn't possibly be less interested in Gwyn romantically.*

Maybe in another life. But not in this one.

*So what, you'll keep yearning after Elain?* Rhys asked him sharply.

Azriel looked up from the daggers, fixing Rhys with a glare.

*I behave. That's what you want. What I do or don't feel outside of that is none of your business,* Azriel gave back.

He was sick of this. Sick of Rhys treating him like he was some kind of reckless child who couldn't be trusted to make his own decisions. 

*I'll behave. As I always do.* He repeated that with more force, his glare hardening.

And as a side note, I am perfectly capable of handling my own feelings, Rhys. I don't need your interference.

The words hung in the air between them, sharp and pointed.

Azriel held Rhys's gaze for a beat longer, then turned back to the daggers. But he could feel the tension between them, the unspoken words that still hovered in the air.

He was so fucking done with Rhys’ meddling. Or with his brother not trusting him to handle his own feelings like an adult. 

*Oh really?* Rhys crossed his arms, wings spreading wide at his back. *How long have you been pining after Elain, knowing damn well that it would only bring you misery?*

It was a punch beneath what was appropriate. Both knew it.

But AZriel couldn't even fucking care at that moment.

He slammed down the mental walls, forcing Rhys out of his mind immediately.

Quite frankly, he hadn't thought about Elain once after Sky and him had accepted the mating bond. He hadn't fucking cared anymore.

 Elain could do whatever she wanted. So could Mor.  Azriel was kinda busy with doting on his mate.

Sky mattered. 

Sky actually wanted him around. Sky liked him enough to let him share her bed and curl around her and had not once flinched away from his shadows. 

Rhys could say and do whatever he wanted but he was not getting near Sky. 

"Good Morning!" At least Cassian was in a good mood.

Azriel barely acknowledged Cassian's cheerful greeting, his mind still reeling from his confrontation with Rhys. He wasn't in the mood to banter or make small talk. But Cassian, being Cassian, didn't seem to pick up on the tension in the air.

He plopped down on the ground beside Azriel, stretching out his wings lazily.

"What's got you brooding?" Cassian asked, eyeing Azriel curiously.

"Still figuring out Nesta's birthday gift," he said drily. It wasn't even a lie.

Cassian sighed.  "Good luck with that, brother. Nes can be quite the challenge to please," he said with a groan. "I still have no idea what to get her and I am her mate. I thought I would get her a new book but the only one she is interested in at the moment is the next Sellyn Drake book and that's not out for 3 weeks," Cassian complained.

Huh.

It seemed like Cassian may have just solved Azriel’s own gift debacle.

How high were the chances that he could talk Sky into giving him an early peek at her newest book?

Apparently it was as simple as asking. She gave it to him without hesitation, with a smile and he loved her just a little bit more just for that.

And he did love her. So fucking much.

It was so easy to be with her. So easy.

Azriel had never felt like this with anyone before. It was effortless to be with her, to be himself around her. She never expected anything from him, never pushed him to be someone he wasn't. She saw him for who he was, and accepted him completely.

She even accepted the shadows.

Azriel knew that the shadows were a part of him, and he had always been conscious of the way they might make people uncomfortable. But with Sky, it was different. She didn't shy away from them or make him feel like he needed to hide them from her. She even seemed to find a certain beauty in them.

She never flinched away, even when the shadows whispered against her skin...even when they touched her.

It was as if, for the first time, the shadows were not something to be feared or loathed. They were simply just a part of him, and she accepted them as such. She never asked him to change or try to control them, and it was a freedom he had never experienced before.

And quite frankly...he would rather stay with her, in their house and let himself be bullied by her cat that to sit through another family dinner.

But he did it. Just for Nesta. It was her birthday after all.

It wasn't going to be that bad. Probably.

He would just remind himself of who was waiting for him at home. That made it easy. 

And it wasn't even that bad. It could be worse.

Rhys even left him alone, mostly because Azriel did his best to stay away from Mor and Elain and Gwyn and Rhys himself for good measure, which left him with the conversation partners of Amren and Varian...and then he just needed to stay silent and let his mind wander to the feeling of Sky's hands when she scratched his scalp...the way she snuggled up to him in her sleep...to the freckles that covered her face...Azriel let his mind drift to thoughts of Sky as he sat at dinner, choosing to ignore the others' conversation. 

He knew that Rhys was probably watching him with a smug look on his face, probably thinking that Azriel was thinking of Elain instead. But Azriel didn't care. He was content in his thoughts of Sky.

Finally, they were handing gifts to Nesta, which meant that the evening was coming to an end.

Thank the cauldron for that. 

Azriel watched as Nesta unwrapped gifts from the others: jewelry from Amren, a painting of Velaris from Feyre…

“Happy Birthday,” Azriel told her softly as he handed her his gift.

“Thank you,” Nesta told him graciously, smiling at him. “Oh, chocolate!” He couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm at the bag of chocolate candies that was tied to her gift with ribbon. 

Azriel smiled, watching as Nesta excitedly tore open the bag of chocolate candies that he had bought her…Sky and him had taken an ambling walk through Velaris one afternoon, ending near the rainbow in a tiny candy shop where his mate procured her caramel candies from and he had picked them up for Nesta. 

Well, that and a few different ones to try for him and Sky.

He was just glad that Nesta seemed to like it. And then Nesta unwrapped the book.

“Cassian said you were very excited to finally read it,” he told her drily. Nesta flipped it over, eyes devouring the title.

“HOW?!” She demanded, her voice half a screech. A far cry from how composed and quiet she usually was. “How did you get it?!?” And then she was already moving to hug him fiercely, pressing a kiss against his cheek. Azriel chuckled, giving her a quick hug back. He was glad that she seemed to like his gift so much.

"Cassian let it slip that you were interested in the new Sellyn Drake book, so I thought I'd pull some strings and get you an early copy," he explained. "Happy Birthday, Nesta."

“What kind of fucking strings did you pull?!” Cassian complained pouting. “I went to every bookstore in Velaris and none could get it to me earlier than in three weeks.” 

Azriel couldn’t help but smirk at Cassian's complaint. "You know me, Cassian. I have my ways," he drawled. "Maybe you just need to expand your network."

“You had the shadows steal it, didn’t you?” Cassian asked him with a glare. Azriel couldn’t help but snort.

“No, I asked Sellyn Drake to give it to me and she did,” he said drily. “Though I'm sure Nesta couldn't care less how I got the book, as long as she gets to read it."

“Oh, I do care.” Nesta assured him immediately. “You asked Sellyn Drake? Nobody knows who she is! You know her? How? When? Why?”

Azriel chuckled, amused by Nesta's rapid-fire questions. "Yes, I know Sellyn Drake. I asked her for a favor, and she obliged. Simple as that. As for the why, well, I knew how badly you wanted to read her new novel, so I thought it would be a nice surprise for your birthday,” he told her easily, smiling softly at Azriel. 

Cassian still looked suspicious, eyeing Azriel with a critical eye. "You asked the author herself to give you an early copy of her book? Just like that?" he asked skeptically.

“Just like that,” Azriel said calmly.

“So she actually exists?” Gwynn asked him curiously, everybody turned to stare at her. “What?! You know I had my theory!”

“Gwyn’s theory is that Sellyn Drake isn’t one single person, but instead a whole group of incredible talented authors,” Nesta said with a grin.

"Oh, she definitely exists. I can vouch for that. She’s very sweet,” Azriel told Nesta simply, who opened her book, hungrily opening the front pages…

“…this is signed,” Nesta breathed. “Sellyn Drake knows my name.” 

He was pretty sure that he had heard religious people sound less worshipping than Nesta did at that moment. 

For just a moment he wanted to think about how it would be for Nesta and Sky to meet, but he forced himself not to. Not where Rhys could snap that up. 

“What?! No way!” Emerie exclaimed, clambering to take a look at the book. “Cauldron boil me.” She breathed.

“There isn’t a single signed Sellyn Drake book!” Gwyn exclaimed. 

Azriel couldn't help but chuckle at the others’ reactions. "Well, I guess that makes this a pretty special gift then," he said simply, sipping his wine with a satisfied smile.

“Very special,” Nesta told him softly, looking at him wideyed. “This is…This is incredible, Az.” 

Azriel merely inclined his head, accepting the comment. “I’m glad "It's not often that I can surprise someone who's as hard to impress as you are."

Nesta gave him a playful swat on the arm. "You know I'm not that hard to please," she told him. "You just have to know me well enough to know what I want. And apparently you do. Thank you.”

[dukeofankh]

I mean, nothing I said was suggesting that nothing can or should be done. I have a couple things I can think of but people are already rightly pointing out that my experience, like all experiences, isnt universal. Calling out a shallow take isn't something I'm doing because I'm so so wise and I know how to fix everything.

I have heard the take that part of the fix for this will probably be a lot more white men with podcasts, and that is almost definitely *part* of the fix. It is legitimately difficult for young men to find content about random ass basic hobbies that isn't being served to them by low-key fascists. That needs to change. When talking with other progressive men, something that came up a lot was after school programs, especially ones that bring boys in more contact with their communities and expose them to different kinds of people in positive ways. Hate breeds in ignorance and isolation.

You already seem very anti-terf, which is great. That is also part of it. I don't honestly think that women are the cause of this problem but like, in terms of fixing this and convincing men that feminists are on their side, yeah, some small part of it is probably looking at the state of feminism currently and recognizing that it has devolved in many very public online spaces into reactionary gender essentialism and that radical feminism takes up a lot more air than anyone would like to pretend it does. "Sure I wholeheartedly reblogged something that claimed that any man who seems decent is just trying to let women's guards down to make it easier to assault them, something all men are trying to do to women at all times, but that's just venting. Ignore that broadside that me and my friends just unloaded on you and everyone who looks anything like you, if you think that your hurt feelings about that matter, that's on you for not recognizing that our pain justifies saying literally whatever we want" (to call up a random example) is certainly a standard that it is possible to enforce in some more isolated corners of the internet, but there has been a serious breakdown between the personal and the public, which is hell for messaging as a movement. This is no longer drinks with friends, this stuff gets broadcast worldwide to men who are trying to get a sense of what feminism is about. At some level, what is cathartic to say will have to give way to what is tactically wise to announce. The only men who will willingly share space with that sentiment if it is core to this movement are either convinced that they are personally exempt from examining their own privilege, which is its own problem, or men who agree wholeheartedly that all men are evil, them included, and are trying to atone. I've interacted plenty with both in male feminist spaces. It's not a winning team. I am aware how hard that will be. 4B type political lesbianism/lesbian separatism seems to be having a moment (at least as a meme) right now as people process their grief in this moment. That's understandable. But it's not wise.

Considering this is happening in the wake of the US election, and I'm saying this as a Canadian, it's also worth gently and precisely noting that even if the harm is the same, someone who voted for trump didn't necessarily do it because they despise women. If we're just looking at the raw numbers and saying "we're doomed", that's probably not helpful or, luckily, accurate. The project of changing the cultural narrative is huge and depressingly long. The rise of reactionary right wing populism when a society starts failing its young people economically isn't. That is a different, and much easier project. If you don't want people to vote for right wing populism, you need to give them left wing populism, and infiltrating the democratic party and pulling all the same tricks the right did but towards economic policy that will provide the next generation of men with the opportunity to own homes and pull their weight supporting families will do a hell of a lot more in a much shorter time than systematically changing each and every man's heart, especially considering a lot of the people who voted for trump weren't men. This project will outlast us, but MAGA doesn't have to.

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[p-e-n-i-s-c-o-r-e]

Jewels

Summary: In which the reader and Lando had been broken up for a while. He comes into her jewelery store looking for something.

Warnings: Use of Y/n

Authors Note: Hey, fellas, how we doing. It's currently 10:31pm where I am. Meaning it's still Landos birthday 😼. Which is when I wanted to post this. Remember I am a beginner so pls don't bully me I'll cum :(. Anyways, enjoy!

It's been rough these past few years. Having had been broken by the person who you had thought was the one. The one who you were still deeply in love with now. Yeah, he was quite distant but you just thought he was stressed. Never have thought he would've called you late while you were sitting in your hotel room in Brazil. The words I think we should break up echoing into the room. The words sinking in as your heart breaks into millions of pieces. His reasoning being I fell out of love. You had hung up. You had this plan that you would quit your job, and surprise him at Brazil just in time to watch him race, but he broke up with you. Carlos was helping you with the plan, providing the paddock pass you would've needed. Now you don't know what to do. You don't have a job anymore. You had some money still in the bank yes, but not enough to pay the bills creeping in from your house back in Texas. You felt like dying. The one you loved with your whole being just broke up with you. You called Carlos, explaining the whole thing. He didn't know. How would he? Lando rarely had been talking to anyone lately. Carlos offered to help, which you appriciate, the only reason you were somewhat stable now was because of him. He helped you find an apartment in Monaco, helped whenever you were short with payments. You always refused, but he wanted to help. He felt bad for you.

Here you were now. You worked as a Jewler for a small Jewelry shop in Monaco, known for the most gorgeous engagement rings. You hadn't seen Lando in years, and your heart still hurt. Never really getting over him, you tried, went on a few dates here and there, your co-worker, Isabella, setting you up with a few guys she was friends with, but they never worked. They weren't him.

You were helping out a customer pick out a necklace for his wife's upcoming birthday when the door chimed, signaling a new customer had walked in. You look up ready to greet the customer like how you do the others, but you freeze once you lock eyes. It was him. The man you hadn't seen in 4 years. The man who had broken your heart. You feel your body start to grow heavy, but you keep it together.

"Welcome! If you need any specific help, just ask."

You say, looking at him like you don't recognize him. You turn back to the old man you were helping when Lando speaks

"Uh, yeah.. Engagement rings?"

What? Your face visibly falls, but you catch it quickly, not fast enough, though, because Lando notices. You speak.

"Yeah, right this way."

You lead Lando further into the store, where the Engagment Rings were showcased.

"Anything specific?"

You ask, your eyes scanning over the display of rings. Your heart clenching inside your chest.

"Anything with like... a flowery design? Oh, and a black band."

Your mind immediately thinks of one ring in stock. It was this beautiful double ring with a Moss Amite stone that sat in the middle, surrounded with smaller Mossanite stones, brought together with a black gold band that had leaves spreading around the stone. You walk over to the cabinet right next to the display case, and grab a small black velvet box, opening it to show Lando.

You watch as his eyes widen slightly at the sight of the ring. Your heart is starting to deflate around itself.

"Shit.. it's perfect... how much is it?"

"€1699.00"

You say, your voice betraying you as your voice breaks. He doesn't notice it, though, simply following you to the front counter to pay for the ring.

"So.. uh.. how you've been?"

"Alright."

You say, one worded answer. The air around you both is awkward. Very, very awkward.

"That's good."

Lando watches you type on the computer before speaking again.

"You got a boyfriend?"

Your body freezes slight at his words.

"No."

You look at him, he seems surprised. Everyone always is. How a pretty girl like you doesn't have a boyfriend. You just couldn't find one.

"Really? Have you had one since.."

He pauses a bit, hoping you would get what he was trying to say.

"Little flings. Nothing serious." You say bluntly. Waiting for a few papers to print.

"Ever plan on settling down?"

You hesitate to answer with the truth, but you do.

"Don't think I'm gonna find anybody." You place a few papers in front of Lando.

"Sign these"

He takes the papers and signs them where it tells him. Hes not exactly sure how to keep talking to you. The air around you both was very awkward.

"That's.. sad. I'm sure you'll find someone, though. I didn't think I would, but now I'm about to propose."

Your lips purse together. You were noticeably uncomfortable, grabbing the papers in front of him and putting them away in a file.

He could tell that you weren't interested in the conversation, but what he was saying wasn't untrue. He thought it might be a bit better if you both got lunch together.

"Do you wanna.. get lunch maybe? Catch up?"

You open your mouth to talk, but quickly shut it afterwards. Hesitating.

"I.. I don't think I can do that to myself Lando."

"Can I ask why?"

You saw the look of confusion on his face. Did he think you both could just.. be friends?

"Let's not do this now." You flipped the card machine towards him.

"No, please.. we need to." He pleads with you, trying to get you to open up.

"Pay for the damn ring Lando."

Your tone is stern. You felt like you were about to cry.

He's slightly hurt by the sternness in your voice, but alas he does what he's told and pays for the ring.

"Can we talk now?"

"Fine. Follow me."

You lead him into the breakroom of the store. Closing the door slight, leaving it a bit cracked.

"Why can't you get lunch with me?"

He's very confused. It's been 4 years. He just wants to catch up. So much has happened since then.

"I.. I never got over you Lando."

He looks at you surprised. How was he supposed to know? He had assumed after all these years you would've moved on by now, but you haven't.

"You..-You're still in love with me?"

You look back up at him, tears starting to pool into your eyes.

"I told you. I never got over you."

You tried to keep your voice from breaking but it was a lost cause. Your feelings for him never died, only dimmed a little, but since he walked throught that door, they had lighten back up.

"Y/n.. I..-I don't know what to say."

You don't know why you had hope. The tinyist bit of hope that he might still love you. He broke up with you because he didn't love you. A few tears rolled down your cheek.

"You're an..-an amazing person, Y/n. You deserve someone who loves you. Someone that's not me."

You were silent for a little before you spoke up with a question.

"Lando..I need to know..-"

You paused, trying to find the right words.

"When did you lose feelings..?"

You could see Landos body stiffen, as I he was dreading this question. He knew he had to be honest.

"Um.. a year.. before we broke up."

A year? He led you on for a whole year? He pretended for a year that he loved you like you loved him. Forced 'I love you's, forced kisses, forced smiles, forced everything. Tears steadily fall down your cheeks.

"You..-You led me on.. for a year..?"

"I'm so sorry."

Was all he could muster up. You felt like your was getting the life squeezed out of it.

"Why didn't you do it sooner?"

"What difference would it have made? We still would've broken up."

You can't believe those words just left him mouth. Did Carlos never tell him?

"The night you had broken up with me was the worst night you could've done it. I was in Brazil. I was going to surprise you. I had quit my job to be there for you and you told me you didn't love me anymore. Do you know how hard it is to hear that? I had quit my job to travel with you, but I did it for nothing."

He looked surprised, which you understood. He didn't know you were in Brazil at the time. He was silent. Not knowing what to say.

"I..-Im sorry."

"Save your apologies, just leave, please."

Your face was stained with tears, and your heart hurt so incredibly bad. A year. A year he had led you on. You were so incredibly in love with him you couldn't even tell how he was faking everything, and it made you feel so bad about yourself. You let love blind you.

"Bye, Y/n."

You watch as he turns for the break room door. Opening it so he can walk out.

"Goodbye, Lando."

[koolades-world]

this piece is based off this post, which you can find here. I had heard it as an audio at first actually and fell in love with it. it's kind of essential for this read. it's basically talking about how before their loved one guessed their favorite color was yellow, they didn't have one. after that, yellow was special! sooo cute and i though luci fit in perfectly as the speaker!!! if you were tuned yesterday for my solomon birthmarks fic, this is two out of my four ideas! i had one more in my drafts that i decided to throw in for fun

so so excited to write this. so fluffy!!!

the color of happiness

"Don't forget about your coffee, Mc." Lucifer nudged the cup towards you, acting as a gentle reminder of it's existance.

"Right, right. Just let me finish this thought." You were laser focused on the paper you were in the middle of planning. You were desperate to get all the thoughts out before you inevitable got distracted and forgot everything.

"I don't mean to dissuade you from your schoolwork, but it's getting cold." He chuckled at your half assed attempt to wave him off.

"You can just reheat it with magic." You stuck out your tongue ever so slightly as you scribbled.

"And what if I can't?" Lucifer was practically enchanted with your little mannerisms.

"You can and would. I know you. You'd find a way to make it happen for me." Despite how smug you sounded, he knew you were right. He'd jump through however many hoops as he had to for you.

There was no coming back from your words, so he went back to his own work. By the time he'd restarted, you'd stopped for a break, and were ready to bug him.

"On that note, I feel like I know so much about you, yet so little at the same time." You held the mug in one hand, the other underneath your chin as you gazed up at him.

"What prompted this?" Lucifer set down his pen despite just having gotten back to work. He'd felt like the two of you knew each other quite well. You'd been through thick and thin together, even defied death at each others side.

"Let's play twenty-one questions!" You ignored his question. Perhaps you just wanted an excuse to hear his voice.

"Alright. I can't say I've played before, but I know of it." He found himself smiling again, as he often did around you.

"It's easy! We just ask each other questions to get to know each other better."

"Which one of your brothers is your favorite?" You asked. He hadn't been expecting such a hard hitter of a question at first

"Must I answer?" He joked.

"Come on! Alright, then which do you hate the least?" You suppressed laughter.

"Do not shout this from the rooftops, but, Mammon." He already knew how'd you'd react, but he still found himself amused when you inevitably did.

"I knew it!" You celebrated, throwing your arms in the air. "Alright, your turn."

He absentmindedly messed with his gloves. "What is your favorite part of human world?" Lucifer had thought hard about that question. You seemed too enthusiastic about the entire thing, and he couldn't help but cave.

"That's an easy one! The sunrise. I would almost never wake up in time for it, but it's so beautiful." Your eyes sparkled. He made a mental note to plan a surprise trip to the human world for you. "I've actually been dying to know the answer to this next question for a while now."

"Oh? Ask away then." Lucifer was curious. There was a lot a human could want to ask the Lucifer Morningstar. You already knew his story, but there was a lot to be asked about what the Celestial Realm was like, or what having his power was like. But instead you asked him,

"What's your favorite color?"

The question hit him like a shot to the heart. He should've known you weren't interested in anything but him, for who he was. For once, he didn't know the answer a question as simple as that. He'd never really given it though. Maybe it was red? It was the color of his eyes, and the color of Diavolo. Maybe it was blue? That was the color of his sin. Maybe it was black? Everything he bought seemed to be in that color. Or, just maybe, it was that he didn't have one.

He floundered, his thoughts much more chaotic than what he let on. "Oh, wait! Let me guess!" He nodded, despite not knowing how he'd respond. You pursed your lips, deep in thought, when you burst out with what you thought was the answer.

"Yellow! It's yellow!" You placed a hand on his arm, eagerly awaiting his answer. You looked so full of joy, that somehow, made the answer seem correct to him.

"You're right." Lucifer nodded his head in confirmation.

"Knew it!" You threw your arms around him, pulling him into a side hug. After the inital shock, he hugged you back. "Yellow was already the best color, but now it's even better since it's your favorite too." The rest of your game, and break flew by.

But he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. How could he had been so blind to a color he saw everyday? After that, the color held a special meaning to him. Not only was it the color of his favorite brother, and the color of your favorite thing about the human world, it was also the color of you to him.

Yellow was never the same after that.

The runny yellow yolk of the sunny side up eggs tasted that little bit better. He wasn't upset when he saw a yellow ball of yarn roll out from Satan's room. The yellow umbrella you carried around always caught his eyes, and so did yellow devildom equivalent of roses he passed every day on his way to RAD in a way they hadn't before. He promptly bought them and presented them to you when you arrived after him. The smile you gave him and the way you buried your face in the flowers meant the world to him.

Yellow suited you.

[makeitmingi]

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 6]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.3K

Hongjoong's fingertipes tapped against the wooden surface of his desk. He was dressed in a plain white t shirt and dress pants, his white dress shirt discarded on the ground by his office door and his jacket on the couch.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Come in." Hongjoong sighed, looking up from the computer screen. Wooyoung came in, stepping around the bloodied dress shirt that was strewn on the ground.

"The tailor is coming in an hour to do the first round of adjustments for our suits." Wooyoung informed.

"Alright, thanks. I should go get cleaned up then." Hongjoong stood up.

"Did you get anything good from the guy?" Wooyoung asked as Hongjoong gathered his things. He had just tortured a guy for information. Hence, the bloodied dress shirt.

"Nothing we didn't already know. I swear it's like we're missing something. No one can give me what I want." Hongjoong growled.

"Everyone's tight lipped, hyung. Plus, it could be anyone aiming to take us down." Wooyoung shrugged.

"And don't worry, we've got more surveillance up. Someone is bound to slip up and when they do, we'll be there to deal with them." The younger added. Hongjoong nodded his head, threats to Ateez were never taken lightly. His attack happened a week ago but the jab to his reputation felt like a fresh wound.

"You know what you need, hyung? A night at the fight club." San, having overheard the conversation, poked his head through the open door of Hongjoong's office.

"I'm too busy to have a fight now." Hongjoong chuckled as he picked up his jacket and bloodied dress shirt.

"Let off some steam. Fine, if you don't want to fight, go race." San grinned.

"San's right. It's been a while since you've raced, hyung." Wooyoung giggled. Hongjoong shrugged in response but was actually considering it. He used to race all the time with Seonghwa.

"Okay, you two. Let me shower before the tailor comes." Hongjoong playfully shoved them aside before going to his bedroom.

"Hmm..." Closing one eye, Mingi raised the gun in his hand and steadily pressed the trigger.

"Woah." Yeosang used his hand to shield the sun over his eyes as he squinted at the target to see where Mingi's bullet had landed. Mingi did the same, finding the bullet hole on the target.

"I hate these new stabilisers. I'm switching back to my old brands." Mingi cursed, dismantling the gun at the table and switching out the new stabiliser with the old ones. Taking his arm, he did the same as before and shot the target.

"This new stabiliser is supposed to help heavier guns with the recoil. If it doesn't work then we'll switch back." Seonghwa noted.

"You try, hyung." Mingi stepped aside for Seonghwa to try it.

"It adds too much weight to the gun, it's uneven." Seonghwa said, holding his gun in his hand after switching to the new stabiliser. Mingi nodded in agreement.

"Add that for those who use silencers. It's gonna throw the entire aim of the gun off." Mingi replied.

"That's why I prefer to use these. No need for any added equipment or upgrades." Yeosang held his fists up with a grin.

"Yeah, no thanks." Seonghwa shook his head with a chuckle, taking a sip of his rum. He placed the crystal glass down and took aim, shooting the target in a distance.

"I see what you mean..." The older turned to Mingi, who hummed and drank his beer.

"Mr Park, Mr Kang and Mr Song, I've been told to inform you that the tailor is coming soon to make adjustments for your suits for the upcoming gala." The butler came out into the backyard where they were practicing. The three nodded and waved the butler off, he bowed and left them alone.

"I completely forgot about the gala to be honest, even if we have been involved in the planning of it all." Yeosang admitted honestly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, we've all been busier than usual. And with Hongjoong's mother's passing, it's been different." Seonghwa said.

"Hmm, whether he admits it or not, Hongjoong hyung is still recovering." Mingi added.

"He is. He's just too stubborn to admit it. But he still knows his priorities so let's put our focus on the gala." Seonghwa told the two, who nodded obediently.

"Where's Yunho and Jongho?" When the 3 entered, Hongjoong descended down the stairs, seeing the two missing.

"Probably gaming." Wooyoung snickered.

"We were not gaming. We were busy making sure the new surveillance system is up and running. You were the one gaming with San." Jongho said, walking through the front door with Yunho.

"Damn, how did you know?" San winced.

"Did you think we would not have full surveillance of our own computer lab?" Yunho scoffed, sitting on the couch. As the boys sat together in the living room with drinks and snacks, they chatted and waited for the tailor to come.

"What's the theme we're going with for the gala?" Jongho asked. Everyone turned to Hongjoong since he was always the one in charge of deciding the theme.

"It's a surprise." Hongjoong smirked from his armchair, sipping the whiskey he had.

"Good afternoon, sirs." The tailor came in with his assistant, each of them wheeling in a rack of clothing.

"You can set up here." Seonghwa said.

"Thank you." The tailor bowed and the two left the racks, going back out to get their remaining supplies from their vehicle. Yeosang tried to peek under the black cloth that covered the racks.

"I'll be placing the mirror here." The tailor set the full length mirror by the glass doors so the natural sunlight would come in.

"As always, Mr Kim chose a very nice design for all of you." The tailor complimented.

"Show us already!" Mingi said impatiently. This was their regular tailor for such events so he was used to the boys, their behaviours, mannerisms and what they did for work. The tailor chuckled and pulled the cloth off the racks to reveal the 8 outfits that were hanging off the hangers.

"Oooh." The 7 boys were in awe. Hongjoong stood up, going for a closer look. He nodded in satisfaction. Each boy had a uniquely designed outfit but there was always a similar theme.

"Nice choice. I don't think we've done dark purple before." Seonghwa ran his fingers against the material.

"Dark purple velvet." Hongjoong corrected.

"A purple this dark can go with either gold or white gold. Very nice." Wooyoung whistled. Hongjoong nodded, that was the intention of the design.

"Yes! I got a cape!" San fist pumped at his dark purple velvet piece. Yeosang's was a double breasted jacket with a peaked lapel.

"Ooh, mine is a coat." Yunho held up the hanger with his name tagged, looking at the piece.

"This is yours." Hongjoong handed the hanger to his best friend. It was a three piece velvet suit; a waistcoat, a jacket and the same pants as everyone. Jongho's jacket had a shawl neckline so the collar of his white shirt could have overhang to create a contrast of colour.

"This is Mr Song's." The tailor gave Mingi his purple velvet coat. But unlike Yunho's, Mingi's was different in that there were no buttons, it had a shawl neckline.

"And you requested to wear your new bolo tie so I got you a fitting shirt instead of your usual flowy one." Hongjoong sighed.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that." Wooyoung chuckled. His suit was jacket was more form fitting with a notched lapel.

"Okay, we'll have you all change to make adjustments. For those that do not have a white shirt on your hanger, means you are meant to be without one." The tailor said.

Hongjoong's was a regular jacket with a peaked lapel, pants and a white shirt but his tie was made of the same purple velvet material.

"Oh yeah, this is your bow tie, Yeosang ah." Hongjoong handed the bow tie to the male when he stepped out.

"Are you sure I should wear this without a shirt on the inside?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow as he walked down the stairs. Hongjoong nodded in confirmation, Seonghwa always looked good in the suits that he designed. He had an eye for design, knowing what points to highlight on each person.

"Mr Park." The tailor gestured to the mirro. Seonghwa stepped up and the tailor stood behind him with his assistant. Hongjoong stood by to observe.

"It's a bit loose around the waist. We'll gather it in more." The tailor said and his assistant took down the notes.

"Mingi ah, what accessories are you getting for us?" Hongjoong asked the taller male.

"I think, after looking at everyone, white gold would be nicer. There's more elegance to it. I'm afraid yellow gold stands out too much and not in a good way." Mingi replied.

"Sure. I'll leave it to you." The older said. Mingi saluted in reply.

"I chose for you two to have longer coats since you're both tall. It compliments your height well." Hongjoong informed.

"Thanks, hyung. You always know what looks good on us." Yunho grinned. One by one, the boys stepped up to the mirror for the tailor and Hongjoong to make adjustments. Hongjoong went last while the others changed out of their outfits.

"Bring in the shoulders a little. It's not sitting right." The captain told the tailor, who nodded. Once he was done, the tailor gathered all the suit pieces from each of them.

"Good job. Can't wait to see the final pieces." Hongjoong said.

"You won't be disappointed, Mr Kim. Have a nice day." With a bow, the tailor left with his assistant in tow.

"Oh! I have to go for a meeting! Send me a list of all the accessories that I'll need to get for the gala." Mingi said to everyone before running out of the house.

"I need a nap." Jongho stood up and excused himself too. Hongjoong went to get a refill of his drink.

"How are the logistics coming, Yunho?" He asked.

"It's going better than before. I've put together everything, according to suggestions that were made during our last meeting. The venue will be 90% done the night. The other 10% is stuff that is best prepared day of." Yunho replied. Seonghwa nodded with a small hum to show his approval.

"Wooyoung and I have been working on invites. The important ones, at least." Seonghwa informed.

"Good." Hongjoong nodded.

"Also, Seonghwa hyung, Mingi and I were testing the new stabilisers earlier. They're not good. Especially for those that are going to use heavier guns." Yeosang updated.

"Then stick to whatever is better and more comfortable for all of you." Hongjoong said.

"I think we should drop this guy as a supplier, he hasn't been bringing in good stuff for us." Yeosang suggested.

"Get our money back first. Then you can do whatever you want." Seonghwa replied and Yeosang nodded.

"Alright, I'm going to get ready for my fight tonight. Sure you don't want to join, hyung?" San grinned. Hearing that, Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at his best friend while Hongjoong cursed.

"Don't give me that look, Seonghwa. And I already told you I'm not fighting, San. I have no temptation to enter the ring. If I'm there, it's only to watch your fight." Hongjoong scoffed, hoping Seonghwa wouldn't nag him about his recovery.

"If there's a slot, I'll fight." Yeosang raised his hand.

"Great. There's always slots." San took his phone out and sent a text to the fight manager at his club.

"We should all go watch tonight." Wooyoung said. Hongjoong had too much work to do to watch the fight. Yeosang and San always won their fights anyway.

"Why don't you guys come celebrate at my club tonight? After the fight." Hongjoong suggested.

"Yay! Free drinks at Hongjoong hyung's." The boys cheered.

"You guys can pay for your own drinks! You'll have winning money to use, no need for free drinks." Hongjoong hissed, making all of them laugh and ignore him.

"In the mean time, back to work." Seonghwa got up and headed to his office. San and Yeosang went to get ready for their fight.

"Game time." Yunho and Wooyoung fist pumped, slinging their arms around each other and going to the computer room to game. Hongjoong chuckled with a shake of his head, the boys were always so chaotic wherever they were. They could talk about serious work one second then change to nonsensical talk.

After you closed your shop, you went home to shower and change. You were not sure what to wear since you weren't exactly active in the clubbing scene.

"It's just drinks." You reminded yourself, digging through your closet to find something appropriate to wear.

"Ah ha!" You took out a dark red body con dress with a small slit on the thigh.

"(y/n)!" Your friends waved to you as you arrived outside the club. Besides Jihoon, there was Nana, who owned a petcare center, Eve, who owned a bakery, and Hyunwoo, who owned a gym.

"Your dress is so cute." Eve complimented.

"I had to dig it out of the depths of my cupboard. I don't go to these places often." You chuckled.

"Because you always bail on us." Hyunwoo pointed out, making you glare at him while the others burst out laughing. You assumed Jihoon made a reservation of some sort because you didn't need to queue.

"Thank god we didn't need to queue. Or else I would have gone home." Nana groaned as she walked beside you. The club was crowded, it seemed like a popular place to be. And judging by the long queue outside, you figured it was always packed.

"This is our table." Jihoon gestured and you all sat down. You didn't realise that Hyunwoo had disappeared.

"First round!" Hyunwoo announced, placing the tray of shots on the table.

"We just sat down and you wanna do shots already?! You're crazy." Nana yelled over the loud music. Jihoon shook his head while Hyunwoo grinned.

"Come on~ You guys can order different stuff after this. It's a welcome drink." He gave out the shot glasses.

"Ah... You're spilling." You clicked your tongue, taking a napkin to wipe the table.

"Cheers!" All 5 of you clinked shot glasses and downed the shot, wincing at how strong the alcohol was. You were not adverse to alcohol but even this was too strong for you to handle.

"Rum and coke?" Eve turned to me after taking Nana's order. You nodded, coughing from the burn in your throat.

"I'll go help her carry everything. And I'm getting a beer." Jihoon went to the bar to find Eve. They came back with the drinks and you received your rum and coke. It was a lot better in taste than whatever Hyunwoo had offered all of you earlier. All of you owned shops along the same row so there was always things to talk about.

"I've recently added a lot of new classes at the gym, you guys should come check it out. Free trial classes." Hyunwoo said, leaning against the back of the couch.

"I think working at the bakery is enough of a workout for me. Plus I have been busy training the two new bakers." Eve groaned.

"This is why I work with animals." Nana grinned.

"But you still have to deal with owners..." Jihoon pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Walk ins are still slow but thankfully, I've been getting more online orders. Maybe I should consider getting an assistant soon to help me with arrangements for events." You thought out loud.

"Yeah, you should! You're always staying so late to finish up your orders." Hyunwoo revealed. All your friends turned to you.

"Quiet, you..." You scolded Hyunwoo for exposing you. Jihoon reached over to flick your forehead.

At some point in the night, your friends momentarily scattered around the club. The dance floor looked too daunting and sweaty for you to join so you stayed away. Looking at the bar, you saw people chatting like they're long time friends.

'Going to the bathroom! Be right back. - (y/n)'

You sent a text to your friends and left the table, making sure to put the 'reserved' sign right at the front so no one would take your table, then headed to the restroom.

"Is this the line for the bathroom?" You tapped a girl's shoulder. She turned around and nodded her head with a hum.

"Thanks." You shot her a grateful smile. The queue was moving but it was long so you were stuck there for a while with your full bladder.

"Oh! (y/n) sshi?" Someone called, making you look up from your phone, not expecting a taller person before you. You squinted your eyes a little, trying to remember his name.

"Y-Yunho sshi?" You tried. He nodded his head with a smile.

"Mhmm! Fancy seeing you here." He chuckled. You could feel the attention fo the other girls on you.

"The queue is so long... Come with me." He nodded his head in another direction. You tilted your head in confusion but you wanted to escape all the attention that was on you now. The girls were definitely eavesdropping, seeing someone as handsome as Yunho, talk to someone like you.

"Yunho sshi, where are we going?" You asked, following him. You watched as two men stepped aside, revealing a staircase up to a private area.

"Here. Use the private bathroom down the hall. It's cleaner too." He pointed to the door.

"That's very kind of you but are you sure we can do this? It seems private or like a VIP area..." You looked around with uncertainty.

"You're funny, (y/n) sshi. Don't worry about it, we're not trespassing. Just go then you can return to your friends." Yunho smiled, gently pushing you in the direction of the bathroom.

"Bye~" He waved and headed to another door along the hallway.

"Thank you." You bowed to him and went to the bathroom. He was right, it was a private bathroom and it was very clean.

When you were done with your business, you washed your hands and exited the bathroom. You headed down the stairs, past the two guards that were blocking the way and went back to the booth to find your friends.

"You said you were in the bathroom! We went and you were not there!" Nana held your arm worriedly.

"Ah... Sorry, I bumped into someone I knew and got sidetracked." You rubbed the back of your neck. Hyunwoo and Eve were still mingling while Jihoon returned from the bar with another beer.

"Want some?" He offered.

"No, thank you. Beer makes me sleepy and I can't be falling asleep here." You chuckled.

"You know we wouldn't let anything happen to you, right? If you fall asleep, Hyunwoo and I will just take you back to your house." Jihoon said with a serious tone.

"I know. Thank you." You giggled. You stood up and exited the booth, wanting to go get another drink.

"Want me to come with you?" Jihoon offered.

"No need. It's just there. I'll be right back." You shook your head and went to the bar to order another drink. Of course, you got another rum and coke with lime. With more space at the bar now, you lingered there for a bit longer until you realised your friends might be looking for you.

"Hey." A hand touched your shoulder and you assumed it was Jihoon coming to find you.

"I just wanted to have a drink at the bar. I was going to return to the table." You laughed as you turned around.

~

Series masterlist

[faggotcitosis]

to everybody seeing this: do not take a single thing this person said seriously or any of the insane person in the notes telling you to move to the fucking NORTHEAST or the NORTH, the poorest part of the country, most underveloped, worst access to healthcare and who posesses one of the highest rates for lgbt violence. 9 out of the 15 most violent brazilian capitals for lgbt people are in the north and northeast

you are incredibly more better off just moving to a blue state than immigrating to ANOTHER FUCKING COUNTRY that has NOTHING in common with your country of origin

the information irt immigration is correct, it is very easy to immigrate here

private healthcare and education is way more accessible when compared to the usa but to locals is still extremely expensive. you will only find it cheap because you earn in usd. minium wage is around R$1400, that's around $280 a month. if you work an USD work from home job you might be able to swing it but it still doesn't fix everything

if you do not speak the language, it will be very difficult. my girlfriend moved here 3 years ago and i still go with her to doctor appts w her because it's incredibly dififcult to communicate medically when you don't speak the language

cultural differences aside, purchasing power in brazil is a lot lower in the usa and you do not have access to a lot of ammenities. to me personally that is not important, but i know for usamericans living here they miss a lot of the commodity (drive thrus, having a car, anything eletronic wise, commodities, pre made food or pre made anything, temperature controlled houses - most ppl do not have ac, no dryer, no dishwasher, i can go on forever and ever). some differences in work culture: there rarely exist part time jobs, it's not like in usa where you work by the hour, (in most jobs) you work by month and your wage is fixed by month, you do not have sick days (only if you have a doctors note to excuse your absence) or can take a day off whenever you want like in the usa...

i love brazil and i prefer here than the usa any day, but access to healthcare, education and social services is HIGHLY dependant on city/region. most immigrants tend to settle in larger cities/metropolis because they need to be able to access the embassy (there's 5 usa embassies in the whole country) and immigration services, in which the quality of life is not good. i cannot go into all the differences in one post, but i hope this is enough to illustrate. abortion is illegal and will not be legal any time soon. brazil is the highest ranking country for lgbt violence - this doesn't mean it's the most dangerous to exist as a queer person, there's way worse places and we still have it really good, and part of the reason the numbers are so high is for sure because there's channels to report and there's organizations that process that data. but it's not this beautiful dream irresponsible people are painting as

i cannot stress this enough: life in a blue state will always be better than immigrating to a third world country you do not know , do not speak the language, don't know anybody who can support you and is very distant culturally. it doesn't matter how bad it is in the united states, you will not be better off here when blue states exist

and to op and the dumb people in the notes: how the fuck do you come online and lie to people in a vulnerable moment like this? with half truths and dishonesty about the actual situation in brazil rn? how our economy is tanked as well? how inflation is also bad? the only truth any of you said is that yes, it is easy to immigrate to brazil

Hey everyone, given the recent news and all, I imagine some people might be considering leaving the country if the hostility aimed towards and the loss of rights of women and the LGBT+ community keeps on increasing during this second Trump presidency. Immigration is an extremely bureaucratic process in most countries, though, so if I could suggest a potential alternative, easier way out of the US if it ever comes to a point where such a thing would be needed, Brazil, my home country, is particularly friendly and considered a “model country” when it comes to our laws regarding requests of asylum. For example, people who apply for a refugee status in Brazil:

 • Have a very good chance of being granted it. Just last year, over 77 000 people were granted asylum in Brazil [1]

 • Are almost never under the risk of being deported, even if they came to Brazil under unregulated means and/or under fake documents [2]

 • Have the benefit of a very straightforward, 100% free of charge process to apply for asylum that doesn’t require a lawyer and can be done almost fully online through filling a form on a website, with the exception of getting a physical copy of your application process at the nearest federal police station [3] and

 • While getting an official refugee status can take a long time (sometimes up to two years in certain cases), just by being officially registered as being in the process of obtaining said status, asylum-seekers have the right to obtain “temporary” valid Brazilian IDs, a legal work permit and also are granted rights identical to those of Brazilian citizens, such as the right to free education, free healthcare, and social assistance. Apart from having to renew those documents once a year, these privileges are never revoked [4]

Most importantly though, the Brazilian Refugee law of 1997 defines a person eligible to obtain refugee status as being, between other criteria, someone who

“has well-founded fears of persecution for reasons of race, religion, nationality, social group or political opinions, finds themselves outside their country of nationality and is unable or unwilling to seek the protection of that country” [5] which includes members of the LGBT+ community, as it’s explicitly stated in the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees website that

“Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people may be eligible for refugee status [in Brazil] on the grounds of persecution due to membership in a particular social group. UNHCR recommends that people who are subject to harm, inhuman treatment or serious discrimination because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or intersex status and whose governments are unable or unwilling to protect them should be granted refugee status.” [6]

To sum it up… if things escalate to the point where you feel like you’d be safer leaving the US than staying in it, Brazil is one country that would welcome you practically immediately. Tumblr tends to bury posts with links so I’ll add sources on a reblog, along with more information.

[mistriavalley]

Okay so I’m loving your smut headcannons and at the bottom of Sam’s you talked about the idea of both Sam and Sebastian fing the farmer. If you’re comfortable w it I would LOVE to know what you have to write about it. Lots of love♥️♥️

Sam's fantasy (Sam x Sebastian x afab!farmer)

Note: This is based on my Sam smut headcanons. You don't necessarily have to read those, but they will give you some context, because I'm basing these headcanons on those

TW: 18+ MDNI, smut, threesome, masturbation, everyone is giving and receiving oral, creampie

Masterlist

As I mentioned in my previous headcanons, Sam is very much open to try almost anything and threesomes aren't an exception. He'd prefer it to be with someone he trusts though and that someone would be Sebastian in this case. It has been a fantasy of Sam's for a while anyways

It's not that he's super attracted to his best friend, but it has definitely crossed his mind a couple times. He has even thought about it while jerking off. Just imagining the sight of you sucking him off while Sebby is fucking you from behind or beneath you

Sam is a bit hesitant about bringing it up though, because he doesn't want you to get jealous or anything, but you wouldn't be reading this if you'd mind a threesome with these two so yea. The fast speed and eagerness you agree with to it, makes him low-key hard

You two decide that it would be the best to have Sam bring it up to Sebastian alone. You're close to him, yes, but you don't want to run into the risk of putting him on the spot or pressuring him if you have too many people there

Once you guys agree on a day, time and place (which is obviously your farm) you and Sam try your best to set the mood a bit. Some scented candles are bathing the living- and bedroom in a nice orange light and depending on the weather you light the fire place as well. Sam suggests to have some music running in the background, but you can't agree on which songs to put on so you just leave it as it is

When Sebastian finally knocks at the door and you guys let him in it's awkward to say the least. He's just standing around with his hands shoves in the pocket of his hoodie, you're sitting rather stiff on the couch and Sam is trying to figure out how to ease the tension a bit. "Does anyone want a drink or...should we go straight at it?"

His ungraceful attempt at lighting the mood earns him a chuckle from both you and Sebby. "Straight at it? You want us to jump on each other or what?" You both poke some more fun at your boyfriend's clumsy wording and everyone quickly relaxes. After a while of just talking and hanging out you guys finally do decide to move it to the bedroom

There it starts rather awkward and slow as well, but once most of the clothes are gone and heated kisses are being exchanged, everything continues on rather smoothly. Soon you find yourself on your back with Sam's hard cock in your mouth while Sebastian is eagerly eating you out

You slightly gag on your boyfriend's dick as the first orgasm of the night washes over you. Your legs instinctively wrap around Sebastian, trapping him between your thighs. Sam lets out a low moan at the sight, almost shooting his load in your mouth, but he holds back his own climax

Everything is kinda a blissful blurr from that point on. There is either a tongue lapping at your swollen clit or a pair of fingers caressing your g-spot while you either get a cock shoved down your throat or pumping a shaft with both hands

The boys give you a small break though. A few minutes to catch your breath. As your eyes flutter open, you're being graced with the sight of Sebastian sucking Sam off and your breath catches in your throat. Your boyfriend has a fistful of black hair in his hand while his best friend is doing a damn good job at deepthroating him. It's making your pussy wetter than it has ever been before

Quickly you crawl over the bed towards Sam and place a deep, hungry kiss on his lips. He groans into your mouth as he gently rocks his hips and holding onto your body for dear life. Then you get an idea and with a mischievous grin you make your way down until you're right next to Sebastian

He's kissing and sucking the tip while you lick the shaft and your hand is fondling Sam's balls. The mix of his pre-cum and Sebastian's saliva tastes heavenly and you can feel something wet run down your inner thighs

But then suddenly Sam sits up and brushes blonde hair strands out of his face. Pearls of sweat are running down his reddened face and his chest is lifting and falling heavily as he pants. "Fucking hell..."

Sebastian quickly takes his place, making himself comfortable with his head on the pillow. His arm is placed under his head and with his free hand, he takes you gently by your cheek and guides you down. Of course you're more than eager to get another taste of him. While your tongue slowly drags along his shaft, from his balls up to his tip, you feel a shift of weight behind you on the mattress

Before you can look over your shoulder to see what's going on, you feel a familiar pressure on your cunt and you automatically lift up your ass higher. As Sam slowly slides in his heavy cock, you take in Sebastian's entire length. You try to bob your head to the speed of the Blonde's hips, but it's so difficult to stay focused while he hits all the good spots

Sebastian's hand gently strokes your head and he tries his best to keep your hair out of your face while Sam is fucking you straight to cloud 9. You feel a familiar knot forming in your stomach and you grab a fistful of the bed sheets while your other hand is looking for support on Sebby's thigh

Your legs shake as you reach yet another climax and you fall slightly forward until you feel the tip of Sebastian's dick hitting the back of your throat. He throws his head back with a moan as he cums into your mouth. The warm liquid tastes a bit salty and sweet at the same time and there is so much of it that it runs down your chin

Shortly after that you feel Sam's cock twitch inside your cunt and his fingers dig into your hips as he fills you up completely. Cum is dripping out of you from all sides and your muscles ache as you fall flat onto the bed. The air is filled with gasps and the smell of sex

"That was...I don't even know, man." You and Sebastian let out a breathless giggle at his words and for the longest time you all are just calming down and catching your breath

"So does anyone want drinks now?" "Sure." "I'll just get cleaned up first."

[dragonnarrative-writes]

KinkVember 11 - Knife Play

Slasher Simon "Ghost" Riley x Bambi x Transferrable Skills Simon

Read on AO3

CW: Knife play, blood mention, CMNF, explicit consent, check ins, abrupt ending

Notes: This is from a project that I'm percolating on with @sentientcave. All you need to know about that, right now, is that for Good and Plot Relevant Reasons, the various versions of the 141 I've written, and some of their darlings, have met and are in an interesting Liminal Space, where they are passing the time.

This is not cannon to either Slasher Handler or Transferrable Skills at this time.

PS: Haha, yeah, it's late. I feel a little bad about it, but I am also being nice to myself about it. Happy KinkVember!

Ghost is not as big as your Simon, but his presence is… overwhelming. He sits on the couch, bare faced, the way he never is around the other versions of himself. His blue eyes burn into yours, before he flicks them down to take in what you've worn for this experience. Simon's shirt hugs your curves and sits lightly on your hips, the only thing you're wearing other than a pair of lacy panties. You clench your toes when he looks at your bare feet, inexplicably shy.

He unsheathes the knife.

When you take a reflexive step back, Simon is there to catch you. One of his large hands rubs your shoulder, the other caresses your throat. "You're safe, Bambi. You trust me?"

"I trust you," you answer. "You won't let me get hurt, you won't get mad, you won't punish me."

"'m gonna hurt you," Ghost says. He cocks his head. "You know no one stays dead here?"

"You do anything she doesn't want," Simon rumbles above your head, "and I'm going to make you wish you could die."

Ghost sits back, cocking his head. "Never said anything about doing anything she don't want. Just said the truth of what she's asked me for. To hurt 'er. And that I can't kill 'er."

You feel a lot less brave, now that you're looking at the unsheathed knife in his hand. "What if I change my mind?"

"Then we check in," Simon answers, fingers pinching your earlobe. He nudges you forward when Ghost holds his empty hand out. "You chose him. I trust you."

"You just said you'd make him wish he was dead."

"'e said the same thing to Roman," Ghost chuckles. He catches your wrist with surprisingly gentle fingers. He moves so fast, you don't have time to flinch. The knife is just there, against your hip, lifting the hem of Simon's shirt to expose pink lace.

"Aren't you pretty?"

"It's all I could find," you whisper as the sharp edge of the blade plinks through rayon and elastic.

"Price is a demon, an' he likes pretty girls," Ghost rumbles. "'s true in every reality."

The panties barely make a sound as he slices through one side, then the other. You don't even have to step out of them, they just flutter to the ground. He uses the sharp tip to poke through the hem of the shirt, but simply lifts it. At your puzzled face, he raises an eyebrow until you get with the program and pull it off all the way.

Ghost gestures with a finger for you to turn around. You gulp as you do, looking up into Simon's concentrating face. Ghost's hand on your hip pulls you back, until you're plopped unceremoniously in his lap, Simon following to tower over you both.

"You know it could scar?" Ghost asks, perfunctory.

"I know," you whisper.

"You say stop, it stops. Acknowledge," Simon prompts, taking one of your hands in his. Ghost pushes your shoulder forward until your chest is pressed against Simon’s front, your other hand braced against his hip.

You gulp. "Acknowledged."

The first bite of the knife against your left shoulder blade is a shock. You can tell it's a small cut, but it stings, and you're not sure why you're surprised. You don't really have time to brace before the knife is back.

Ghost moves so fast, so methodically. You imagine it's like getting a tattoo as he works his way across your shoulders. Eventually the sting seeps into you and turns into a warmth that flows down your spine until Simon is holding you up.

The pain makes things a little fuzzy and warm around the edges. The little knicks lose their edge, and you nuzzle into Simon’s belly with a hum.

Beneath you, Ghost is hard, but you kind of expected that. His hand doesn't waver, though. He just pauses when you squirm against him and resumes his work when you settle again.

You are surprised when you feel Simon getting hard against your breasts. Ghost pauses as you tip your head up to look into Simon’s dark eyes, then resumes his methodical work.

“Sits like a dream,” Ghost says behind you.

“She’s perfect,” Simon says, stroking gentle fingers over your cheek. When you catch his thumb between your lips, he groans. “Color, Bambi.”

You’re still lucid enough that the words come easy. “Green. Please.”

“Good girl,” Simon rumbles, and his other hand dips down to touch the top of your back. You can’t help but shiver as he brings the red tips of his fingers up to his lips.

[sevikas-biceps]

Just to add on to this. Someone might've mentioned it in the tags, but I wanted to put my take on this thought.

[TLDR: me agreeing with OP and then explaining something vaguely Marxist lmao]

Do note that the power imbalance is also there. Yes, the two of them have their own views regarding the situation [Vi being accustomed to the reality of things, Caitlyn having to be shocked into experiencing it firsthand (and even then not the whole scope of this systemic issue)]—but their subjective experiences don't change the fact that, from a complete bird's eye view, the conflict of power exists.

We see this multiple times in the show. We see this already laid out for us, in several instances, in Season 1.

In what mad world will I trust someone like you? // Someone like me? You enforcers are all the same: just asshole criminals in fancy uniforms. We're here because I'm hungry. Do you know what prison food is like? No. Of course, you don't. Well, that place does look like it has bodies buried in the basement. // You don't know anything. You know what your problem is? // Please, tell me. // You expect everyone to give you what you want. What is this place? // It's where the kind of people you Topsiders don't wanna think about wind up. I know you have your reservations about me. This only works if we can learn to trust each other. // It doesn't work. It never has. You Topsiders always find a way to screw us. // I suppose Topside is to blame for all your misfortunes. // ...not all of them. // We aren't monsters, you know. We're people. Just like you. // You don't know anything about me. She makes...potions. Helps people here with...with...this. // ...shimmer. Why would you take something that does that to you? // I just...wanted to feel what it was like...to be somebody. To make other people afraid. Let's go. I think Vi would be happy to see a friendly face. // No! You...you go on ahead. She...she knew me when I was still...anyway, I don't want her to see me like this. Just tell her I'm sorry...about everything, okay? You used to live here...who's Powder? // My sister. I thought she died, but, now...I have to try and find her. // How do you know if your sister is alive or dead? // It's hard to check up on people from inside a concrete cell. // What, you don't have parents? // No! They were killed by enforcers. I knew it was a mistake trusting you! // You've been a real picnic yourself. Vi tells me I can trust you. You get a pass back Topside—that's it. ...it's beautiful. // If your people had your way, it'd be rubble and ash. // It's a misunderstanding. They think you work for Silco. // Your people hunt us! Like animals! Silco pays them to do it! // That's not possible. You're wrong. // Say that one more time. Ekko! She believes what she's saying, okay? We could beat Silco with this. // That won't solve things. // Easy for you to say! Your people aren't dying all around you! // Ekko...it's wrong what's been done to you. You'd be well within your rights to keep it. I couldn't blame you. But, if you do, the cycle of violence will never stop. This is our best shot at setting the record straight. This city needs healing—more than I ever realised.

[Whew. I actually had to rewatch several episodes just to get the dialogue IFBJKFBF]

Now, back to the topic at hand.

Let's start with the obvious. Whether explicit or implicit, all of these lines trace back to the systemic oppression being done by Piltover against the Undercity.

Vi was wary of Caitlyn in the beginning because she's an enforcer, and enforcers were the people who'd killed her parents. And it's not just that, either. Vi knew about Grayson and Vander's deal. She has witnessed both Piltie and Trencher working together to keep peace between the two cities. Yes, she'd been angry about it (reasonably so), but even then, she realised why such a thing needed to be done. She was even ready to sacrifice herself just to spare her siblings the inevitability of being the scapegoat. This implies that Vi knew there was at least a good soul out there, a sympathiser—who might yet grant her some kindness on the upside.

But then that sympathy got that very same person killed. And here, we finally know for true that good people don't survive the games of life. You don't get as far as you do in your existence without committing violence. The same also holds true for Vander: her father, who'd shifted his morals and priorities to protect his children; her father, who'd also sacrificed himself in the name of their family.

What does that show her? Being good gets you killed. Being good isn't enough.

Huck demonstrates this incredibly well. I just wanted to feel what it was like to be somebody. To make other people afraid. Prior to his reappearance in Ep6, we don't know anything about him save for the fact that he'd made deals of his own in the Undercity—but this is enough to tell us that he, like almost everyone else, is involved in some kind of illegal business. What does that say? Being good doesn't support your life. You have to tamp down the purest parts of you to be able to survive and thrive. If you're not somebody, if you're nobody, then you're worthless. You die. You're nothing. And everything you do is forgotten.

Even those in Piltover knew this. Caitlyn is a glaring example, what with the drastic shift in morals in Season 2; Cassandra is another good model (see this post of mine); Jayce had to adapt to the demands of high society, seeing and acknowledging the points made in Mel's little lessons on politics; Viktor once had to lie low in the Academy, and use subterfuge to achieve even just a fraction of his own potentials and ambitions; the list goes on.

Being good just doesn't cut it. Ekko implies this best: Vi tells me I can trust you. He's mistrustful of Caitlyn not just because she's a Topsider, not just because she's (still and admittedly) largely ignorant of the harsher realities of their cities—but because she'd've been raised on the very same ideals others she knew have also exhibited. What else does Caitlyn know but the life she lived in Piltover? What she knows as 'right' or 'wrong' is vastly different from what someone like an Undercity child would perceive as 'right' or 'wrong'—and being 'good' isn't enough, because the scales of measuring such a thing were already horridly skewed to start.

So, how does this support the idea that there's a pattern of abuse in Vi and Caitlyn's relationship?

The abuse itself starts on the political level. And this is so, because this was the basis of their relationship in the beginning. No strings attached. Get me out of this cell, and I'll give you the clues to your investigation. Lead me to this criminal, and I'll help you find your sister. I'll forget you're an enforcer for a while. I'll pretend you're not a convict yourself. We can work together. Somehow. The nature of their births had already dictated how they were to behold one another in this relationship. It will always hold a shadow over their heads. Even with the deterrent of romance mixed in, this dichotomy will persist.

OP mentions this:

Cait is Vi's only access to safety and food, she's isolated, she has to constantly prove her loyalty to Cait and renounce any ounce of lingering feelings she has towards the only family she has left, she's left in constant state of anxiety because of it.

There will always be a side to Caitlyn that would never understand how life was like for Vi, or for Ekko, or for Huck, or for Jinx, or for everyone else in the Undercity. That's not an accusation. It's just a statement of truth. Even despite the fact that Caitlyn had tried to set things right (evidenced by her efforts to convince Ekko to return the hexcrystal, and later on her talk with Cassandra to speak in favour of their case at the Council meeting), none of that matters because she herself undoes all that she worked for. All that Vi had tried making her see was for nothing.

That's where it becomes abusive. That's where their relationship, past the political layer, gets cruel on a personal level. Caitlyn, even if she didn't mean to do so and even if she doesn't realise it, had taken advantage of Vi.

You Topsiders always find a way to screw us.

Many others have said this in recent posts: it's Us versus Them.

Over the course of the first act of Season 2, we constantly see Vi in Piltover or surrounded by Piltovian individuals; which makes sense narrative-wise, but on a symbolic level also represents her isolation from all that she knew and had been built by (as a person) in her past. There's also an element of grooming present—in the same way Silco had groomed Powder into becoming Jinx. Caitlyn had slowly worn away at Vi (you can argue this as their relationship being developed, but still) and, for better or for worse (worse), trapped her into a situation where her choices leaned only in one direction and one direction only (Piltover or Zaun?).

Caitlyn abuses her power in this relationship. Whether Caitlyn herself realises this or not, whether Vi realises this or not, is irrelevant—what matters is that such a thing had happened at all. Being good fails. You can't have your cake and eat it. Caitlyn has to make the choice: her mother (Piltover), or her lover (Zaun)? Similarly, Vi does the same: her people (Zaun), or her lover (Piltover)?

You can't be good, one way or the other. It's just not enough, anymore. You have to breach something here, you have to commit an evil somewhere there—because being good gets you nowhere. Not when you're at this point of your life. Being good won't help you catch Jinx, being good won't stop the terrorist attacks from happening, being good won't bring your mother back. But being good would just make your people hate you, being good would make you a conspirator to the crimes against them, being good wouldn't sate your lover's need for vengeance.

That's where Vi and Caitlyn's relationship becomes toxic.

That's where the abuse sets in.

not to be the friend who's too woke but I genuinely feel that the only reason the fandom has such a visceral reaction to people calling Vi and Cait's situation domestic violence is because Vi is butch. yes, DV is more than just physical harm, it involves repeating patterns of abuse, all of which can be found in their relationship. Cait is Vi's only access to safety and food, she's isolated, she has to constantly prove her loyalty to Cait and renounce any ounce of lingering feelings she has towards the only family she has left, she's left in constant state of anxiety because of it.

[m00nkissedlover]

・｡sick day 🌡️

"inside this place is warm, outside it starts to pour"

regulus black x sick! reader | word count: 902 words

summary: in which regulus takes care of you while you're sick 🌡️

warnings: none!

note: since i'm sick rn, i decided to write this little self indulgent fic :D

you had thought that dancing around in the rain would be fun and romantic, right? wrong. a few days ago, your rather plain date with regulus in the hogwarts courtyard was interrupted by a sudden shower of rain. despite it not being a downpour, it was still quite a bit of rain. and as regulus ran for cover, holding his bag over his head, you stayed put. you even stood up, twirling and skipping around on the rain.

"y/n, get over here!" regulus had yelled, trying to fight the smile forming on his lips.

"no, you get over here! let's dance in the rain!" you suggested, not having a care in the world.

regulus just rolled his eyes before quickly running out to pull you back inside.

"look at you, you're soaked." he muttered, taking off his jacket and putting it around your shoulders as he shook his head.

"don't come crying to me when you get sick..." you just smiled at him, finding his curly wet hair and slightly flushed cheeks rather adorable.

"don't worry. i'll be fine, reggie." you'd come to eat those words.

fast forward to present day, you're tucked under your duvet cover, sneezing and sniffling, coughing and grumbling due to the slight pain in your throat. and who was sat in a chair right by your bedside wringing out a rag to put on your forehead? none other than the same slytherin who'd yelled for you to take cover with him inside.

"and this is why we don't dance around in the rain." he quipped, earning himself an annoyed groan from you.

"but it was fun..." "and look where your 'fun' got you." you frowned at his remark, sneezing and letting out a miserable grumble.

"bless you." regulus said, feeling your forehead with the back of his hand.

"you're still pretty warm..." he muttered to himself, placing the cool rag on your forehead.

"how are you so good at this?" you mumbled quietly, sniffling a few times.

"sirus used to take care of me all the time when i'd get sick as a child. i picked up a thing or two." you found it incredibly sweet that regulus had decided to spend his day caring for you instead of doing...anything else really.

your eyes followed him as he stood up and went to get a small, brown glass bottle from his bag. he sat back down, shaking the bottle before uncapping it and pouring some of its contents into the cap.

"what's that?" you asked, your eyes going from the green-ish liquid to regulus's face.

"medicine. you have to take 3 capfuls." he explained, bringing the cap to your lips. some of the liquid slipped past and you immediately frowned, your face scrunching up and a weird noise leaving your lips. it tasted awful.

"are you trying to kill me right now, regulus black? what in merlin's name is that?" you asked, the bitter taste still on your tongue.

regulus scoffed, rolling his eyes as he poured another capful. "y/n, you won't get any better if you don't take medicine. i got this specially from ms. pomfrey. she says it'll make you better in no time. now come on, open up."

as regulus brought the cap to your lips again, you stopped it by putting a hand over your mouth. "nuh uh!" you exclaimed, shaking your head, getting a frustrated huff from regulus.

"if you take it i'll....give you a kiss or whatever." he mumbled.

""or whatever?" now i definitely don't want to take it." regulus raked his brain, thinking of a way to get you to take the disgusting excuse for medicine.

"if you don't take it, i'll tell pandora you broke her hand mirror."

a slight look of surprise spread across your features as regulus mentioned the broken mirror. "how did you even know about that? i mean, i'm planning on buying her a new one, but still." "i have my ways. now take the medicine."

you stared at the capful of medicine, finally caving. you took the cap from regulus, downing the bitter tasting liquid before pouring another and drinking that too. you sputtered and spit in the air, your features scrunching as you frowned.

"there you go. want me to make you some tea to mask the taste?" regulus ask, gently tracing over your cheek with his finger. you nodded, muttering a quick "please."

as regulus fluffed some pillows for you to sit up against, you held a mug of steaming tea, the warmth emanating from it spreading through your whole body. you let out a content sigh, your eyelids a little droopy as you glanced at your boyfriend.

"thanks for taking care of me regulus." you hummed, scooting over and patting the empty space next to you.

"if not me, who else would care for you?" regulus debated for a few seconds before sitting next to you, intertwining his fingers with yours as you rested your head on his shoulder.

your heart warmed, not just from the tea, but from regulus's actions and words. you could tell that you were the apple of his eye. after a few moments of talking, you started to feel sleepy, your eyes fluttering shut.

regulus reached over and turned off the bedside lamp, gently kissing the back of your hand as he watched you drift off. maybe sick days really weren't all that bad.🌡️

© m00nkissedlover, 2024

[iniziare]

Some 'randomized' Solas tidbits, some of these are things in DATV that I default to (though I will change as to accommodate decisions made from the Rooks I will write with within reason: example being that I'm not open to all endings), and others are just random thoughts I wanted to touch on. Ah, sometimes I get a little sad that I need to put all of this under a read more, but I don't want to spoil anything for people. Here we go!

— The ending. As a writer of Solas, I can't do anything other than default to the 'best' ending, which includes Solavellan, and the choice to use Mythal's essence. Which is not to say that I will force Solavellan onto everyone, and it actually is not even the main reason as to why I choose it (though my heart does, every time) as my default. It's simply that the inclusion of Mythal is incredibly fundamental to him being able to atone for his 'sins', that you will have to bribe me with kilograms of chocolate to have me waver from it. I can and will do it if you insist, but then it is important that you know that he can not, and will never properly 'atone'. No other ending will get Solas to that state of mind, and 'insisting' on it as you see in the 'bad' (/worst) ending will simply fetch the intense reaction you would expect from going so firmly against the embodiment of pride, rather than wisdom (I'll write a separate post on how this works in a bit, and link it here for reference.)

— Solavellan. On that note, yes, I'm an intense Solavellan shipper, and the ending that includes her is, in my opinion, most fitting to his character, and is the one that I choose as, shall we say, 'my canon'. I will not force this decision on anyone, but in threads with others where Lavellan is mentioned, unless we've decided differently in our plotting, I will default to it in the same way that Bioware has decided to do with Veilguard's release. It's simple: Solas has, does, and will always hold feelings of great love for her.

— Emotive expression. It is noted that spirits feel incredibly deeply, and we notice this from Solas as soon as the second regret memory where we hear him speak to Mythal. He speaks softly, and earnestly, he reaches out to grasp, to touch, and you hear a deep sense of something akin to defeat in his voice when she refuses his offer, and him. Of course, this is emphasized even more by the memory of him as a spirit of wisdom. It is for this reason, that it's important to note that the best way for this to manifest in mortal form, is through artistic expression, and that it wasn't only specific to the timeline of Inquisition. The music room is a treasure trove to me, and through the note that we find there, we know that it was a spot of great importance to Solas himself, and that memories held therein are precious to him. I will go into details in a separate post for it as well, but it's not just the musical instruments that are important in here, but the mural plays an equal part. Did you see it? The mural that holds the symbol of the Inquisition? Not only does this tell me rather firmly that Solas returned to the lighthouse at some point after the events of Inquisition, but it isn't just any Inquisition insignia. No, if you look closely, and remember: it's a recreation of Solas' frescoes from his rotunda in Skyhold. Not only that, but it is in the place that serves as something akin to a museum or memorial to his regrets. Go ahead, tell me what that says to you, and how much it breaks your heart. Any way, back to the... original purpose of this bullet point: Solas' way to cope, or his way of expressing his emotions, is through the stroke of a brush (Spotify decided to ruin me at the worst of moments:"If I sway my brush, will I capture thee?') a chord engulfed by silence, or writings to parchment, but is not relegated to just these things.

— His connection to Mythal. This is an incredibly complex and very nuanced topic that I will be going into on a regular basis on this blog. I will never say that Mythal should be glorified, or forgiven (I'd say the opposite), but what I think doesn't matter, for what matters on this blog is what Solas thought, and thinks. Sifting through Morrigan's reaction to being asked to talking about them and having such a deep reaction to it, to the conversation that Rook had with the potentially 'oldest' and least 'evolved' (and so the closest to what Solas once knew) fragment of Mythal, I can't say that they are not complicated. From 'What should I have done when Solas turned against me after all we had been to one another?' to 'Can you even understand what it is to battle with someone and love them even still? That is what Solas and I are to one another.' To Morrigan's 'Yet Solas was once beloved of Mythal.' And finally, the note found in the music room. And those lines? They are from the side that I think is much more complicated than the other. Regardless of how it came to be, I think that the nature of Solas' intense emotional (as I elaborated on in the previous point) perspective of Mythal is undeniable, and it served as the driving force for everything that he committed himself to doing, including going against his nature as a spirit of Wisdom over, and over, and over. And yet, with each day that passes, I think that the nuance is much deeper than I first thought on day one of finishing Veilguard. Mythal did terrible things, but it's paramount to remember what Solas, himself, was like and still is, because a lot of answers can be found in that. I'm sorry, perhaps not everyone will like my future analyses of this despite the fact that I am very far from a Mythal apologist, and never will be, but I insist on critical thought and nuance when I seek answers. And yes, I think that all of this only empowers Solavellan.

— Fade Prison. 'Regret, like all emotions, is a powerful thing. (...) Regret is even strong enough to serve as the lock on a prison built to hold gods'. It is, in fact, a prison of regret. And for it to be able to hold Rook captive instead of Solas so that the latter could escape it, Rook's regret, for that moment in time, had to outweigh Solas' own. But by that same token, I raise a different, and very important topic: Varric. 'When you disrupted my ritual, the magical energies pulled me here, into the Fade.' Focus on the words, he got 'pulled into' the Fade, unintended, not of his own accord. Now, as of the moment that the struggle between Varric and Solas comes to an end, which leaves the former stabbed, over twenty to twenty-five seconds pass during which Solas could have gotten 'pulled into the Fade' and yet was not. So I ask: why not? If it is, as he says, a prison of which the lock is held by the intensity of one's regret(s), then I think that it can only mean one thing. Now, if you let the scene play out, you notice one thing, and that's that Solas is only pulled into the prison, directly after Varric actually dies (which Solas is turned towards, and thus witnesses). To me, it's always been clear that Solas created, and fostered bonds within his time in the Inquisition, but I think that this moment is proper evidence of that. He who called him 'Chuckles' wasn't just an ally, but he was someone that Solas regarded fondly enough, that witnessing (and being ultimately responsible for) his death, was ultimately the pivotal thing that the prison needed, and used, to pull him in to it, which in turn set loose both Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain.

[vampyrhics]

i know that people are somewhat nervous about how in ep 10, guillermo is still at cannon capital. i myself, am not all that concerned, because there's some groundwork in these episodes that i am paying a lot of attention to as we continue through the season. a few things:

one being that jordan uses the family language that we have seen used by guillermo in previous seasons, but never outwardly returned by the vampires. this to me signals that cannon capital are using his needs to take advantage of him (jordan also mentions how he shows up early and stays late, and it's obvious that this job is changing guillermo as a person in a bad way). guillermo, more than anything, has wanted a place to belong, but i think his arc is realizing that the vampires are his actual family, not this soul sucking workplace. there's a lot of capitalism red flags floating around in this season that are making me nervous, because the company obviously views guillermo as expendable (where the vampires begin to work with him because they view him as not expendable -- they all fight over his room, showing they miss him, and they all show up because they're afraid of guillermo losing his mind being in the normal human world).

on top of this, it is obvious that jordan is just fulfilling the place of nandor, which guillermo has been trying to find since no longer being a part of the vampire residence full-time (calling him "master" accidentally, arguing with nandor he's not at jordan's beck and call and then answering his literal phone call). which is ironic, because this also mirrors nandor's arc in the season, with the desperation of filling the hole of guillermo in his life (which we have witnessed many times before). they are still all about each other, even when desperately focusing on other things. this applies to the relationship that nandor is trying to have with the guide, especially since it's been established that she is no longer attracted to him (s3 wedding), thought he was the conquerer but realized he wasn't (s6, ep1), and overall has not been very receptive to this change in nandor (s6, ep3) when she tells him "bye" in an irritated tone. i don't think this will work out, just like all other relationships for nandor that are not guillermo.

lastly, they are on equal footing this season more than ever before. there is no longer any "professional" involvement between them, they are just two people who were a part of each other's life for a long time, and all the complications of that. also, i think it is fair to note that kayvan has stated that they're acting a lot like exes -- how nandor can't accept that guillermo's new way of life does not include him, and in nandor's mind, it has to. he can't let guillermo go, and he doesn't want to either, and i think deep down -- guillermo is in the same boat. he helps fix vampire problems still despite saying that he wouldn't, offers a place for nandor to sit and talk when he's clearly upset (also that richard nixon speech says some things about how he feels about guillermo leaving him, even in a very fucked up roundabout way), and tries to keep nandor from being fired because he knows it will hurt nandor's feelings. is this aligned with someone who is truly over the vampires? i think not!

anyway, i have a feeling this will come to a head at some point, and it seems the promotion is going to be when that happens. also, to be noted -- that's not the last episode of the season, so chances are, we will see where the fallout goes. but how will that shake out? i don't know, but i do hope that all this setup is going somewhere because there's a ton of it this season whereas we used to not get any except a few moments here and there. this season's soul is literally the dynamic between nandor and guillermo, so i assume that this will pay off (we hope).

[h0riz0nstuff]

… Won’t somebody cosplay this Dapper Man ?? 😩😤

HZD Throwback ! :D

[forcebookish]

feel like i'm being gaslighted by the ofs fandom like where are all these wild think pieces coming from we can't possibly be watching the same ONE EPISODE of the same drama

anyway,

[cozylittleartblog]

do you have any advice/tips for posting art on tumblr for the first time?

I’m not new from twitter, I just don’t wanna fuck up somehow

really the two keys to posting art is 1. knowing how to use tags, and 2. having a dedicated art blog

tumblr only tracks the first 20 tags on a post, everything after that is Just For Funsies. tracked tags will show up in search, both for the whole website and on your blog.

if you're not sure what tags to use, see what other popular posters are using! i think i mentioned this in my tumblr guide post, but generally you want to tag fandom, characters, ships (if applicable), and any AUs or similar things. oh, and content warnings if those apply, too. then if you want you can try stuff like mediums and other general tags, that'd be your #art, #illustration, #fanart, #fanfic, #digital art, #(program you used), etc etc. you don't really have to use those, but if you want to keep your blog Super Extra Organized or if you're posting original content with no fandom tags to lean on then they are good options. (you can use things like #ocs, #original characters, #character design, #concept art, and genre tags for those!)

really tagging comes down to: if i wanted to find content like this post, what tags would I look in?

You want to have a dedicated art blog so you can keep your art front and center, if people have to dig to see your art or you post a lot of content they aren't familiar with aside from your art, they are less likely to stick around or follow you! this goes for all social medias really, not just tumblr. it's okay to make the occasional non-art related post, you don't have to completely separate art and artist here, but if you have an art blog you want it to be 95% things pertaining to your work. I have a main blog where I post everything that isn't my art, but occasionally I will reblog important things here or share other artists work because it's good that artists support each other :D

TL;DR - Get familiar with tumblr's tagging system and what the popular tags are for the types of artwork you want to post, and have a dedicated art blog! 💖

Bonus tip: Not everyone is online at the same time, and many people don't scroll to the bottom of their dashboards to catch up on every post they missed. You can schedule your posts so you post consistently at the same times, and you can schedule a reblog of your post later in the day. I for example will make all relevant art posts at 12PM CST, and I set the post to reblog at 8PM CST. The tumblr userbase is more active in the evenings, so if you don't post around that time it's definitely good to reblog things then!

[zackmartin]

Z THE CONCEPT OF YOU REBOOTING VALIANT KNIGHT LITERALLY HAS ME FROTHING AT THE MOUTH. it literally never left my head i am always thinking about it at least a little bit. literally recently i came up with a concept for how some of my original characters for my spinoff would fit into valiant knight fnsnskdj and so i technically have like a rewrite/sequel concept that includes zenry and jasper/[redacted] fnsmdnkxnsn which included me rereading the chapters i beta'd for you to remember some details and i was like UGH THIS WAS SO GOOD I MISS IT

LASKDJOSKJVMODKMVLDSKJFSOKJFSLDKFJ HELLO?????????? ARE YOU AWARE THAT I'D LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU???? CAUSE I SERIOUSLY WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU!!!!! BUT AHHHHHHHHHHH

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENTS I'VE EVER RECEIVED, I'M LEGIT GONNA CRY (affectionate), I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS ASK FOR LIKE SIX HOURS, LIKE THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO ARTICULATE HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME

but seriously, like I'm not trying to rag on my writing or anything, but I also know like. I'm not writing anything that's gonna be winning awards anytime soon or anything ground-breaking or anything, but that's never been my goal; and I just say all of that to say that the fact that you're still thinking about something of mine years later and it stuck with you so much that you want to put your own characters into it??????? That's literally so wild to me in the best way, I can't get over it. I'm so serious when I say again that this legit one of the best compliments I've ever received. (Also, if you're willing, I'd very much like to hear about this rewrite/sequel of sorts)

You have me legit thinking about it now. Like I told Pearl in the replies, I feel like my writing is leagues better (i reread stuff from that time period and just cringe now; but to be fair to my past self, she was a novice who was coming back to writing after a 10+ year break so it stands to reason) so I feel like I could do a lot more with it. There's soooo much of that world I want to flesh out that I wasn't skilled enough to do when I first started it. lsakdjf idk man, I might actually do it