#when a woman's fed up
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"Children should be dragged kicking and screaming to school and the doctor's office and grandma's house and the park" is not and never will be a pro-child opinion.
If your kid doesn't want to go to school so much that they throw a temper tantrum and scream until they go hoarse, and your response is "shut up because you have to go" the problem is still you ignoring your kids needs and you're a shitty parent.
#I always remember a fight I got into on Reddit about this woman complaining that her kid hated broccoli#Because SHE had power and her 4 year old did not this meant that every meal had to feature broccoli#So literally every meal was a fight with her 4 year old and she called it a “power struggle”#Ma'am he's 4#The complaint was he's manipulative and awful and bratty because when he started crying his dad would say he didn't have to eat the broccol#She literally described her own toddler as spoiled#Anyway we as the audience were supposed to side with her against her indulgent husband since she was a SAHM and knew everything#My comment was obviously stop trying to make him eat broccoli?#Her response was that children HAVE to eat vegetables and I wouldn't understand bc I didn't have children#If she didn't force feed her toddler vegetables the vegetable police would shoot her or something#When I said yes but there are dozens of types of vegetables why can't he eat a carrot?#I was informed that she controlled what he ate and he needed to eat what she fed him#Like the only person causing a fight is you#You are unhinged and that child should not be in your custody#But somehow I was crazy for saying that if your kid doesn't like something don't feed them it?#I was told children have to be force exposed to things they don't like especially if they don't like them#So they don't grow up to eat limited diets which is apparently more embarrassing than your kid crying so hard he throws up#And refusing to eat any food that you prepare#But I'm the crazy one!
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I firmly believe locke and celes would've been absolutely perfect if they'd been just a little more toxic
#you cant tell me celes would accept locke so easily after being treated like the other woman to a dead girl#i wanted to see some petty jealousy mind games type of drama#locke needed time to accept rachel's death but making celes feel like she was his backup gf made him deserving of some retaliation 😤 cmon#she should've had him groveling at her feet for her to take him back 😤😤#there was too much one-sidedness on celes' side for it to feel genuine on locke's end yknow what i mean?#give me that pining from the opera scene but let celes intentionally taunt him#celes has enough and threatens to move on and idk bone edgar or smth and locke gets to feel shitty#bc he has no right to demand for her to be faithful as long as rachel is in the picture and yet it drives him nuts with jealousy#yknow?? YKNOW?????#let celes be petty and rightfully fed up!!!#she wouldnt be proud of it and might even hate herself for stooping so low but she sure feels vindicated when locke gets all pent up over i#final fantasy vi#celes chere#locke cole#celocke#man i wish i was a fic writer
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At least you can walk away. Introducing: T'Rahni'hk's ex-fiance!
#T'Rahni'hk#what's pictured above isn't the ending of anything v_v#they end when he goes through the pon farr and another woman challenges T'Rahni'hk for him#vulcan oc#beas ocs#comix#bea art tag#the context is T'Rahni'hk was late & he became fed up with her explanation as to why#<- Not that she WAS late (not habitual) but just literally that it takes her so long to explain herself and she isn't good at being concise
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the people i work with are going to drive me fucking insane
#mine#id in alt text#all of these are real things that have come up in the past week btw :)#today my one coworker was like ‘i can’t believe these mothers. 13-14 year old daughters wearing skimpy little swimsuits’#and i’m fed up at this point so i was just like ‘i have not gone swimming in 5+ years because i don’t own a swimsuit bc#it’s impossible to find one that covers your ass. they’re just picking from a limited set of options’#it’s the short shorts thing all over again except they don’t make plaid bermuda short swimsuits as your One Modest Alternative#same coworker. half an hour earlier. telling me a joke where the punchline was that a guy said his girlfriend beat him. can we be for real#different coworker. last week. texting me a Divine Feminine Girlpower quote abt how men don’t understand a woman’s relationship to her sewin#when like. this is a sewing job. where we have make coworkers. some of whom are legit pissed they get stuck working with theheavy machinery#head in hands. i hate it here sometimes lmao
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//rant.
#you've to understand that i like billy and#him being queer and also having a bf who was actually shown onscreen ...and them being loveydovey...is a huge win#i am not emotionally invested in them coz I don't know this couple#like at all#also they are like kids and being a grown ass queer woman#my interest in them is very much like an elder sister being supportive of their kid brother or sumthing#as for agatha and rio#they have set it up as romantic antagonists#we have had some very obvious moments of anger/bickering/longing/tenderness#i care about them as individuals and i want to see more of them together#i know it's toxic co dependent unhinged#I don't know what else to say#I don't expect them to get a happy ending#hell I don't even expect them to reconcile in current timeline#but i do want to know more about their relationship#they have mad chemistry#and since this is a limited series and I won't be seeing them past this blip in the mcu's one good turn#i want to consume as much as possible#they compel me#and that's that#I don't know how to feel about all this negativity discourse tbh#i am aware it happens in fandom spaces all the time...have been burned too many times#this is why I don't even bother participating anymore ..#people on both sides need to chill#and ffs will there be a time when discourse happening on some other social media stop bleeding onto here?#i am just fed up of the preemptive policing#wlw couples are so fucking rare and especially with most of the shows always getting cancelled#i just want one good thing#i am tired can u tell#tag ramblings
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#okay i read a transcription of most of the nj video#and my main conclusion is that the girls are highly misinformed / being fed false info bcs no adult figure is looking over them#‘mhj is the producer of our music’ that woman has never produced a single song#‘our demands are not being met’ ur demand is to bring back mhj ? i wonder why it is not being met#even the manager not saying hi thing … saying this with all the empathy to them but i get it#imagine ur team boss tries a coup towards the company and u side with them it’s understandable if other employees don’t feel comfortable#and the legal side too like most employees were probably instructed not to interact with them on company grounds#and again i have all the empathy towards them and understand it’s because they’re victims and so on but this is all just bcs they can’t let#mhj go#like if they weren’t fighting tooth and nail for her everything would be different#and they don’t have adult figures telling them this and protecting them from the situation#they just dont know how working environments / company work and they have no one guiding and helping them throughout all of it#this whole thing is just so heartbreaking and frustrating#and they said they found out about the situation from the media — that again proves that mhj doesn’t actually care because she knew about#all of it but she couldn’t pick up the phone to tell them ?#hybe can get fucked and is evil too but if anything this suggests they wanted to leave the girls out of it at first at least#this is not to say i think hybe was nice just to be clear i think they just didn’t think the girls would care this much since it was a#business/legal dispute concerning the company#it’s like if aespa cared when lsm was kicked out .. they didn’t gaf and that’s what it’s supposed to be like !#the leak thing is so heinous tho like i really don’t understand why someone would leak private records of some young girls#after we’re done with mhj we gotta take care of bpd
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one more night suffering through the curse of living in aragon, land where voice tones are very loud and booming. and some men refuse to cant control their voices so it can be 2 am and i will be hearing him speak in the room next door
#worst of all is that yesterday i found out through the security guard who is my friend (kind of? i guess?)#that the security guard thats here today complained abt me complaining. as in 'it seems everything bothers her (me) now'#'its like we cant speak at all or we bother her'#SO NOW I DONT WANNA BE AN ANNOYING WOMAN AND TELL HIM TO SHUT UP#god i wish someone would either tape his mouth SO HE SHUTS THE FUCK UP so i can sleep/study/concentrate. or slap him silly#so he realizes. I BET. that if i was not a woman he would take me more seriously#but nooooo. i gotta get out of my room every single fucking day that hes here to tell him to lower his voice. bc he doesnt want to CONTROL#his voice volume. the other security guard (my friend) told me that he told him that!!!! that he just had to control the tone and volume#but nah man. my security guard friend also doesnt like him😭bc he doesnt shut up lmaaooooo AND hes super irresponsible#anyways im so sorry guys im truly so fed up with this. also did you guys know that one time i went to tell them to shut up and i got stuck#in there with THEM TALKING for an hour. it was 1.30 am or so when i went there. i got out at 2.40am🥴#they wouldnt let me go. they just keep droning on and on. and they also just basically not let you get a word in#and i was standing the entire time too😭#z xarre
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God folks in the pesticide manufacturing industry are so up their own asses. This is the most annoying call.
#woolly rambles#this woman keeps going on and on about how enviros want to “take away” agriculture and how they don't know that they would starve w/o ag#when its so obvious that at the end of the day all Bayer cares about is the bottom line#they don't give a shit about ag or feeding people or being responsible stewards of the earth#they're not even listening to the enviros or they'd know that their assessment is wrong#anyways fuck it i hope Bayer's crop science division goes up in flames#we use pesticides to a concerning degree and while that might be helping to feed us in the short term it will doom us in the long#and i'm also pretty fucking skeptical about how essential pesticides are for keeping us fed anyways#idk y'all the state of CA - you know the biggest ag state in the US - is confident that they could safely phase out high-risk pesticides#by 2050 and be fine so like idk y'all#i think you're just worried about your bag
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bren slept with lae'zel, kissed wyll, and banged astarion all in the span of two nights meanwhile my poor fkn sister suki (played by my friend in our co-op) got rejected by karlach, and then everyone else 😭
#bg3#(out of game it's bc im the only one doing the companion quests bc she was too focused on karlach)#(but shes playing a neutral evil drow and well! it didnt go great!!)#(so now i have multiple companions hanging off my arms bc i fed gale and fed astarion and was chill with shadowheart and...... did what#laezel said when she said it..........)#(but in game its the funniest fkn shit bc suki very much thinks shes hot shit ((and she is)) and brens just her little brother whos just#kinda stumbling along life like a lost little lamb. and its up to Her as the Woman Of The Family to shepard him)#(and he lets her bc hes BREN and the world is SCARY)#(and yet his shivering shelter dog demeanour has caught the eye of no less than four companions)#(it was a real one two three whammy tho sukis player was just growing more hysterical the more cutscenes i was getting LMAO)#(we're chill we r really good friends but it was REALLY funny)#(god i wanna play suki and bren in an actual ttrpg)
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i bet both sides of the political aisle will totally be normal about the megachurch shooting and not warp the facts to fit their agenda and use it as fodder against others while ignoring the actual victims
#this was largely seemingly just a very mentally ill woman#off her schizophrenia medications#and had major delusions and paranoia#fueled by the stress of her divorce and the dangerous political climate we currently have#her mother in law is a rabbi and said she has had these issues for years and when she's on meds she doesn't believe in these things#or act like that at all#anti semitism is serious and should be taken seriously#but someone with a psychotic disorder being fed fear and violence in the media will end up picking a side#and believe they or others are in danger and act against that#i feel so bad for her child#and those in the church#CPS failed that child as the MIL had been trying to get custody for years at that point due to the severe illness of the mother#also the weird conservative conspiracy that she's a trans woman#bizarre
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god willing this will not be the start of me sincerely sharing Opinions on tumblr dot com but the thing about Kindness and Empathy being paraded as easy breezy & effortless by some is that those posts are often written by very young people who have age-limited experience with the diversity of thought & expression that exists. knowing "there are people out there who think radically differently from me" =/= collaborating with those people in total sincerity and with unwavering compassion.
empathy is a skill i always always have to practice not only because i've had to sit in front of people who genuinely, sincerely hate women as a class of people because of specific lived experiences, and i still had to (and had to want to!) give them therapy, and had to work to the best of my knowledge and creativity to help them break isolation and make friends and not kill themselves, because i don't get to decide, actually, whether or not they deserve to live in misery and die alone - and anyway, building relationships can dismantle prejudices for some people -
but also because the more conversations i have (the number only ever increasing, as you get older), the more likely i am to hear a completely batshit take like, "all victims of intimate partner violence have borderline personality disorders, otherwise they wouldn't stay with their abusers," which i heard this evening. and i would humbly posit that any decent person would need to have a really, really deep well of patience to not promptly smack the person saying that with some sort of rolled newspaper, or perhaps a door.
it is easy to say things or set intentions or wtv when you have little to no chance of encountering situations where those intentions will be challenged. don't expect sainthood from yourself or others. all of it's hard. just try your best!
#this is me formulating the affirmation that ive clearly dug that well of patience quite deeply !because i did explore this concept further#(because you know. approach everyone with unconditional positive regard)#(baseline being: what do You think these two things (bpd/ipv) are. what the connotations/implications carried when You say them)#and i have concluded that it is a stupid opinion based on stupid reasoning. but i have also been really fucking nice about it!!!!!!!#it's just like. e.g. m oliver is the patron saint of kind & soft living on this website but she did get fed up with humanity on occasion.#and as a student of her poetry & philosophy i can say that at least one of those times she did not express it well. bc she was imperfect#idk idk idk idk. just like. ok. be a woman while a man twice your size tells you all women are evil bitches & try to build rapport with him#it is a little difficult. it is a fucking life experience. you know????#idk. the Me who helped deliver babies was very on board with the world being inherently spectacular!!!!!!!!!#the Me who counselled sv victims for a year and then mostly poor mostly suicidal ppl for six months was Not!!!!!#oh my god readmores on this website PLEASE WORK
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i understand the technological gap between generations but at what point does that gap just turn into incompetence
#becca.txt#i don't mind fixing presentations and documents and PDFs for my coworkers i really don't it's not what they hired me for but i do not mind#but it's another thing entirely for you to give me the ugliest piece of shit i've ever seen and just expect me to make it presentable#especially when making this shit is YOUR job which you were HIRED for and which you were doing BEFORE i got here#how is any of this acceptable#and why are you hinging YOUR job security on whether you can get ME to fix your shit#your incompetence is not my problem#in this day and age if you've been working (at my job) for X years and you can't align a fucking PPT deck i'm sorry that's on you#my coworker had to be walked through changing fucking FONT COLOR on a word doc#and this is her JOB#i'm sorry i am just getting fed up with it#and she comes to me about how the manager is picking on her for her shoddy work and one of these days i'm going to snap#and just tell her yeah our manager's right this looks like shit you've been doing this for ten years and this is just not it#there is no reason for someone who's been here as long as you have to be producing this quality of work#and i don't want to be rude but it's just what it is#and she keeps trying to blame her executive dysfunction and how she has adhd and whatever else#like bitch so do i but you don't see me trying to pass off garbage and hoping nobody says anything#everybody at the company has been coddling this woman because she is a literal sugar cube of a lady and they all love her#and at the core of it it she isn't half bad at what she was hired for - which is GIVING training presentations#but lady the other half of that job description is MAKING the goddamn presentations#but our manager's new and he's having none of it and it's upsetting her so she's coming to me#and i don't know what to say about it anymore i am sick of it#pls ignore i am upset
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heres the update. nothing else since then, so we'll probably never know if he actually divorced her ass.
i dont think it's unreasonable to think one or both of the children are still completely no contact with their step family and it's not unreasonable to assume the older child (the male) likely cut his step mother from his life, too. I sincerely hope they did.
The Goyim are fucking wild, the way I would have dumped that casserole over that woman's head, also divorce that wife.
#the same thing has happened to me.#went ot a kids birthday party. the hostess (sister in law) assured me multiple times that it was vegan and gluten free bc her sister#and her nephew are allergic to eggs and are celiac#i said ok ig i'll try one#half way through my stomach starts hurting like you wouldnt believe. it took me 20 minutes just to eat that much bc it made me so sick#i overheard her tell another guest 'yeah it's made with buttermilk instead of eggs!'#i was sick for the next two weeks; even despite me making myself throw up half the cupcake in the bathroom immediately.#my intestines were damaged for the next year afterwards.#i cut her out of my life immediately. whenever i would see her at a family event and she would offer me food i would very sternly refuse it#and outright throw it away right in front of her#people who put shit in your food as a gotcha bc they dont agree with your allergies; choices; morals; religion are actual scum.#she constantly judged me for being vegan too. is a nurse and a boy mom to really help you get a picture of her character.#so i know for a fact it really was intentional. bc she KNOWS what vegan is and she intentionally chose her words to make it seem like ti wa#vegan when she KNEW it wasnt. she even outright told me it WAS vegan#so yeah#i really truly hope those kids and that guy cut that piece of shit woman out of their lives.#bc of that one event im terrified to eat food ive cooked most times bc im always wondering whats in it that i cant see#again. even in food I COOKED MYSELF FROM SCRATCH.#being fed something unknowingly IS traumatic. and again; i truly hope no one forgave her or her family.
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 57
Chapter Highlights (most of the chapter is the highlight lol)
An hour before dawn, the keep and two armies beyond it were stirring.
Rowan had barely slept, and instead lain awake beside Aelin, listening to her breathing.
That the rest of them slumbered soundly was testament to their exhaustion, though Lorcan had not found them again. Rowan was willing to bet it was by choice.
It was not fear or anticipation of battle that had kept Rowan up—no, he'd slept well enough during other wars. But rather the fact that his mind would not stop looping him from thought to thought to thought.
He'd seen the numbers camped outside.
Valg, human men loyal to Erawan, some fell beasts, yet nothing like the ilken or the
Wyrdhounds, or even the witches.
Aelin could wipe them away before the sun had fully risen. A few blasts of her power, and that army would be gone.
Yet she had not presented it as an option in their planning last night.
He'd seen the hope shining in the eyes of the people in the keep, the awe of the children as she'd passed. The Fire-Bringer, they'd whispered. Aelin of the Wildfire.
How soon would that awe and hope crumble today when not a spark of that fire was unleashed? How soon would the men's fear turn rank when the Queen of Terrasen did not wipe away Morath's legions?
He hadn't been able to ask her. Had told himself to, had roared at himself to ask these past few weeks, when even their training hadn't summoned an ember.
But he couldn't bring himself to demand why she wouldn't or couldn't use her power, why they had seen or felt nothing of it after those initial few days of freedom. Couldn't ask what Maeve and Cairn had done to possibly make her fear or hate her magic enough that she didn't touch it.
Worry and dread gnawing at him, Rowan slipped from the room, the din of preparations greeting him the moment he entered the hall. A heartbeat later, the door opened behind him, and steps fell into sync with his own, along with a familiar, wicked scent.
"They burned her."
Rowan glanced sidelong at Fenrys. "What?" But Fenrys nodded to a passing healer.
"Cairn—and Maeve, through her orders."
"Why are you telling me this?" Fenrys, blood oath or no, what he'd done for Aelin or no, was not privy to these matters. No, it was between him and his mate, and no one else.
Fenrys threw him a grin that didn't meet his eyes. "You were staring at her half the night. I could see it on your face. You're all thinking it—why doesn't she just burn the enemy to hell?" Rowan aimed for the washing station down the hall. A few soldiers and healers stood along the metal trough, scrubbing their faces to shake the sleep or nerves.
Fenrys said, "He put her in those metal gauntlets. And one time, he heated them over an open brazier. There…" He stumbled for words, and Rowan could barely breathe. "It took the healers two weeks to fix what he did to her hands and wrists. And when she woke up, there was nothing but healed skin. She couldn't tell what had been done and what was a nightmare." Rowan reached for one of the ewers that some of the children refilled every few moments and dumped it over his head. Icy water bit into his skin, drowning out the roaring in his ears.
"Cairn did many things like that." Fenrys took up a ewer himself, and splashed some into his hands before rubbing them over his face.
Rowan's hands shook as he watched the water funnel toward the basin set beneath the trough.
"Your claiming marks, though." Fenrys wiped his face again. "No matter what they did to her, they remained. Longer than any other scar, they stayed."
Yet her neck had been smooth when he'd found her.
Reading that thought, Fenrys said, "The last time they healed her, right before she escaped. That's when they vanished. When Maeve told her that you had gone to Terrasen."
The words hit like a blow. When she had lost hope that he was coming for her. Even the greatest healers in the world hadn't been able to take that from her until then.
Rowan wiped his face on the arm of his jacket. "Why are you telling me this?" he repeated.
Fenrys rose from the trough, drying his face with the same lack of ceremony. "So you can stop wondering what happened. Focus on something else today." The warrior kept pace beside him as they headed for where they'd been told a meager breakfast would be laid out.
"And let her come to you when she's ready."
"She's my mate," Rowan growled. "You think I don't know that?" Fenrys could shove his snout into someone else's business.
Fenrys held up his hands. "You can be brutal, when you want something."
"I'd never force her to tell me anything she wasn't ready to say." It had been their bargain from the start. Part of why he'd fallen in love with her.
He should have known then, during those days in Mistward, when he found himself sharing parts of himself, his history, that he'd never told anyone. When he found himself needing to tell her, in fragments and pieces, yes, but he'd wanted her to know. And Aelin had wanted to hear it. All of it.
They discovered Aelin and Elide already at the buffet table, grim-faced as they plucked up pieces of bread and cheese and dried fruit. No sign of Gavriel or Lorcan.
Rowan came up behind his mate and pressed a kiss to her neck. Right to where his new claiming marks lay.
She hummed, and offered him a bite of the bread she'd already dug into while gathering the rest of her food. He obliged, the bread thick and hearty, then said, "You were asleep when I left a few minutes ago, yet you somehow beat me to the breakfast table." Another kiss to her neck. "Why am I not surprised?"
Elide laughed beside Aelin, piling food onto her own plate. Aelin only elbowed him as he fell into line beside her.
The four of them ate quickly, refilled their waterskins at the fountain in an interior courtyard, and set about finding armor. There was little on the upper levels that was fit for wearing, so they descended into the keep, deeper and deeper, until they came across a locked room.
"Should we, or is it rude?" Aelin mused, peering at the wooden door.
Rowan sent a spear of his wind aiming for the lock and splintered it apart. "Looks like it was already open when we got here," he said mildly.
Aelin gave him a wicked grin, and Fenrys pulled a torch off its bracket in the narrow stone hallway to illuminate the room beyond.
"Well, now we know why the rest of the keep is a piece of shit," Aelin said, surveying the trove. "He's kept all the gold and fun things down here."
Indeed, his mate's idea of fun things was the same as Rowan's: armor and swords, spears and ancient maces.
"He couldn't have distributed this?" Elide frowned at the racks of swords and daggers.
"It's all heirlooms," said Fenrys, approaching one such rack and studying the hilt of a sword. "Ancient, but still good. Really good," he added, pulling a blade from its sheath.
He glanced at Rowan. "This was forged by an Asterion blacksmith."
"From a different age," Rowan mused, marveling at the flawless blade, its impeccable condition. "When Fae were not so feared."
"Are we just going to take it? Without even Chaol's permission?" Elide chewed on her lip.
Aelin snickered. "Let's consider ourselves swords-for-hire. And as such, we have fees that need to be paid." She hefted a round, golden shield, its edges beautifully engraved with a motif of waves. Also Asterion-made, judging by the craftsmanship. Likely for the Lord of Anielle— the Lord of the Silver Lake. "So, we'll take what we're owed for today's battle, and spare His Lordship the task of having to come down here himself."
Gods, he loved her.
Fenrys winked at Elide. "I won't tell if you don't, Lady."
Elide blushed, then waved them onward. "Collect your earnings, then."
Rowan did. He and Fenrys found armor that could fit them—in certain areas. They had to forgo the entire suit, but took pieces to enforce their shoulders, forearms, and shins. Rowan had just finished strapping greaves on his legs when Fenrys said, "We should bring some of this up for Lorcan and Gavriel."
Indeed they should. Rowan eyed other pieces, and began collecting extra daggers and blades, then sections from another suit that might fit Lorcan, Fenrys doing the same for Gavriel.
"You must charge a great deal for your services," Elide muttered. Even while the Lady of Perranth tied a few daggers to her own belt.
"I need some way to pay for my expensive tastes, don't I?" Aelin drawled, weighing a dagger in her hands.
But she hadn't donned any armor yet, and when Rowan gave her an inquiring glance, Aelin jerked her chin toward him. "Head upstairs-track down Lorcan and Gavriel. I'll find you soon."
Her face was unreadable for once. Perhaps she wanted a moment alone before battle. And when Rowan tried to find any words in her eyes, Aelin turned toward the shield she'd claimed. As if contemplating it.
So Rowan and Fenrys headed upstairs, Elide helping to haul their stolen gear. No one stopped them. Not with the sky turning to gray, and soldiers rushing to their positions on the battlements.
Rowan and Fenrys didn't have far to go.
They'd be stationed by the gates at the lower level, where the battering rams might come flying through if Morath got desperate enough.
On the level above them, Chaol sat astride his magnificent black horse, the mare's breath curling from her nostrils. Rowan lifted a hand in greeting, and Chaol saluted back before gazing toward the enemy army.
The khaganate would make the first maneuver, the initial push to get Morath moving.
"I always forget how much I hate this part," Fenrys muttered. "The waiting before it begins."
Rowan grunted his agreement.
Gavriel prowled up to them, Lorcan a dark storm behind him. Rowan wordlessly handed the latter the armor he'd gathered. "Courtesy of the Lord of Anielle." Lorcan gave him a look that said he knew Rowan was full of shit, but began efficiently donning the armor, Gavriel doing the same.
Whether the soldiers around them marked that armor, whether Chaol recognized it, no one said a word.
"Ready now," Chaol called out to the men of his keep.
This would be it—today. Whether that hope remained or fractured.
Already, the awakening sky revealed two siege towers being hauled toward them. Right to the wall. Far closer than Rowan had last noted when flying overhead last night. Morath, it seemed, had not been sleeping, either.
The ruks would remain back with their own army, driving Morath to the keep. To be picked off here, one by one.
"We have minutes until that first tower makes contact with the wall," Gavriel observed. A scan of the battlements, the soldiers atop them, revealed no sign of Aelin. Lorcan indeed muttered, "Someone better tell her to stop primping and get here." Rowan snarled in warning.
"Archers!" Chaol's bellow rang out. Behind them, down the battlements, bows groaned. Fenrys unslung the bow across his back and nocked an arrow into place.
Rowan kept his own bow strapped across his back, the quiver untouched, Gavriel and Lorcan doing the same. No need to waste them on a few soldiers when their aim might be needed with far worse targets later in the day.
But one of them had to be noted felling soldiers. For whatever it would do to rally their spirits. And Fenrys, as fine an archer as Rowan, he'd admit, would do just fine.
Rowan followed the line of Fenrys's arrowhead to where he'd marked one of the bearers of a siege ladder. "Make it impressive," he muttered.
"Mind your own business," Fenrys muttered back, tracking his target with the tip of his arrow as he awaited Chaol's order.
If Aelin didn't arrive within another moment, he'd have to leave the battlements to find her. What in hell had held her up?
Lorcan drew his ancient blade, which Rowan had witnessed felling soldiers in kingdoms far from here, in wars far longer than this one. "They'll head for the gates when that siege tower docks," Lorcan said, glancing from the battlements to the gate a level below, the small bastion of men in front of it. Trees had been felled to prop up the metal doors, but should a solid enough group of enemy soldiers swarm it, they might get those supports and the heavy locks down within minutes. And open the gates to the hordes beyond
"We don't let them get that far," Rowan said, eyeing up the massive tower lumbering closer. Soldiers teemed behind it, waiting to scale its interior. "Chaol brought the tower down the other day without our help. It can happen again."
"Volley!" Chaol's roar echoed off the stones, and arrows sang.
Like a swarm of locusts, they swept upon the soldiers marching below. Fenrys's arrow found its mark with lethal precision.
Within a heartbeat, another was on its tail. A second soldier at the siege ladder fell.
Where the hell was Aelin—
Morath didn't halt. Marched right over the soldiers who fell on their front lines.
The pulse of human fear down the battlements rippled against his skin. The cadre would have to strike fast, and strike well, to shake it away.
The siege tower lumbered closer. One glance from Rowan had him and his friends moving toward the spot it would now undeniably strike upon the battlements. Close enough to the stairs down to the gate. Morath had chosen the location well.
Some of the soldiers they passed were praying, a shuddering push of words into the frigid morning air.
Lorcan said to one of them, "Save your breath for the battle, not the gods."
Rowan shot him a look, but the man, gaping at Lorcan, quieted.
Chaol ordered another volley, and arrows flew, Fenrys firing as he walked. As if he were barely bothered.
Still, the whispered prayers continued down the line, swords shaking along with them.
Up by Chaol, the soldiers held firm, faces solid.
But here, on this level of the battlements ... those faces were pale. Wide-eyed.
"Someone better say something inspiring," Fenrys said through gritted teeth, firing another arrow. "Or these men are going to piss themselves in a minute."
For a minute was all they had left, as the first siege tower inched closer.
"You've got the pretty face," Lorcan retorted. "You'd do a better job of it."
"It's too late for speeches," Rowan cut in before Fenrys could reply. "Better to show them what we can do."
Rowan steadied his breathing, readying his magic to rip through Valg lungs. He'd fell a few with his blades first. To show how easily it could be done, that Morath was desperate and victory would be near. The magic would come later.
The siege tower groaned as it slowed to a stop.
Just as the wall under them shuddered at its impact, Fenrys whispered, "Holy gods."
Not at the bridge that snapped down, soldiers teeming in the dark depths inside.
But at who emerged from the keep archway behind them. What emerged.
Rowan didn't know where to look. At the soldiers pouring out of the siege tower, leaping onto the battlements, or at Aelin.
At the Queen of Terrasen.
She'd found armor below the keep. Beautiful, pale gold armor that gleamed like a summer dawn. Holding back her braided hair, a diadem lay flush against her head. Not a diadem, but a piece of armor. Part of some ancient set for a lady long since buried.
A crown for war, a crown to wear into battle. A crown to lead armies.
There was no fear on her face, no doubt, as Aelin hefted her shield, flipping Goldryn in her hand once before the first of Morath's soldiers was upon her.
A swift, upward strike cleaved the Morath grunt from navel to chin. His black blood sprayed, but she was already moving, flowing like a stream around a rock.
Rowan launched into movement, his blades finding their marks, but still he watched her.
Aelin slammed her shield against an oncoming warrior, Goldryn slicing through another before she plunged the blade into the soldier she'd deflected.
She did it again, and again.
All while heading toward that siege tower. Unhindered. Unleashed.
A call went down the line. The queen has come.
Soldiers waiting their turn whirled toward them. Aelin took on three Valg soldiers and left them dying on the stones.
She planted her line before the gaping maw of that siege tower, right in the path of those teeming hordes. Every moment of the training she'd done on the ship here, on the road, every new blister and callus—all to rebuild herself for this.
The queen has come.
Goldryn unfaltering, her shield an extension of her arm, Aelin glowed like the sun that now broke over the khagan's army as she engaged each soldier that hurtled her way.
Five, ten—she moved and moved and moved, ducking and swiping, shoving and flipping, black blood spraying, her face the portrait of grim, unbreaking will.
"The queen!" the men shouted. "To the queen!"
And as Rowan fought his way closer, as that cry went down the battlements and Anielle men ran to aid her, he realized that Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow.
That she had been waiting, yanking at the bit, to show them what she, without magic, without any godly power, might do.
He'd never seen such a glorious sight. In every land, every battle, he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin before the throat of the siege tower, holding the line.
Dawn breaking around them, Rowan loosed a battle cry and tore into Morath.
This first battle would set the tone.
It would set the tone, and send a message.
Not to Morath.
Impress us, Hasar had said.
So she would. So she'd picked the golden armor and her battle-crown. And waited until dawn, until that siege tower slammed into the battlements, before unleashing herself.
To keep the men here from breaking, to wipe away the fear festering in their eyes.
To convince the khaganate royals of what she might do, what she could do. Not a threat, but a reminder.
She was no helpless princess. She had never been.
Goldryn sang with each swipe, her mind as cool and sharp as the blade while she assessed each enemy soldier, their weapons, and took them down accordingly. She dimly knew that Rowan fought at her side, Gavriel and Fenrys battling near her left flank.
But she was keenly aware of the mortal men who leaped into the fray with cries of defiance.
They'd made it this far. They would survive today, too. And the khaganate royals would know it.
Galloping hooves drowned out the battle, and then Chaol was there, sword flashing, driving into the unending tide that rushed from the tower's entrance.
"To Lord Chaol! To the queen!"
How far they both were from Rifthold.
From the assassin and the captain.
Arrows rose from the army beyond the wall, but a wave of icy wind snapped them into splinters before they could find any marks. A dark blur plunged past, and then Lorcan was at the siege tower's mouth, his sword swinging so fast Aelin could barely follow it. He battled his way across the metal bridge of the tower, into the stairwell beyond. Like he'd fight his way down the ramps and onto the battlefield itself. Below, a boom began. Morath had brought in their battering ram.
Aelin smiled grimly. She'd bring them all down. Then Erawan. And then she'd unleash herself upon Maeve.
At the opposite end of the field, the khagan's army pushed, gaining the field step by step.
Not helpless. Not contained. Never again.
Death became a melody in her blood, every movement a dance as the tide of soldiers pouring from the tower slowed. As if Lorcan was indeed forcing his way down the interior.
Those who got past him met her blade, or Rowan's. A flash of gold, and Gavriel had slaughtered his way into the siege tower as well, twin blades a whirlwind.
What Lorcan and the Lion would do upon reaching the bottom, how they'd dislodge the tower, she didn't know. Didn't think about it.
Not from this place of killing and movement, of breath and blood. Of freedom.
Death had been her curse and her gift and her friend for these long, long years. She was happy to greet it again under the golden morning sun.
#Chapter 57#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Chaol Westfall#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 57 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Why didnt it blaze-they burned her-afraid2ask-had Aelin allowed it?Maeve stole&knew-no1had been able to heal past it-how powerful had been#Thought to thought-Hadn’t been able to ask why-She’s afraid too-Noone else-She was out for weeks after-Couldn’t tell her-The marks stayed#Fierce pride-One people-Happy-Breathing-Proof-Chaol didn’t knowWhat he didn’t sayHe knew it was her-Of the wildfire-How could he ask that?#But what had happened?-Training nothing-where is it?Fenrys knew-They didn’t pry-But he saw-Cold Fear hatred bit at him-He said it for her#cause he felt it too-What that’s horrific-No one other then them Knew-that it was that bad-Couldn’t breathe yeah me too-The ice again#That scar held longer than any-And they tried-she tried-Nehemia quick no more cowards-She’d given up and Fenrys knew it Aelin had broken-#before itShe knew they would break herThat’s what that run wasNot one of saving but one of leaving-I won’t go-When she’s lost hope#focus on something else stop wondering-He’ll say it so she doesn’t have to-Let her come when she’s ready-thanks Fenrys-His attitude is fair#but also he knows-Part of why he’d loved her-Should’ve known when she won’t talk it’s something that brutal-Needing wanting her to know#&hear-A mark-She fed him ACOTAR mate style-Laughed4once-the4-Their team-mischief&lovely-every door makes me miss Mort#THE ARMOR AND SWORDS-He reminds-He defends-She’s got a plan-Gods he loved her-my lady-if only gods for hire-the waves of it#lol sorry Lorcy they didn’t fit the armor-what’s her plan?-they know but they know enough to let her do her thing-unreadable-that shield#Aelin what’s the plan babe?-golden-she knows how to make an enterance-It’ll be done shortly so they listened to a queen knowing she’s hidin#Power of a good speech lol-Whether hope remained or fractured-Primping-Break in plan-NO THE TOWERS#Aelin&The/her cadre Breath for battle not gods Something inspiring-You’ve got a pretty face lol-the power of their names-Holygodsliterally#The queen has come-A crown-No fear-Aelin Anielle armor no braid nothing burning-3 months of power storing-she knew what show they needed#love her or hate her the woman’s got style- Rowan babe this is war you can’t just ogle your wife lol-Still he watched her-she is the sun#The queen has come-For this-She was ready-To the queen-Grim unbreaking will-What she without magic could do-Nothing like her#So she would show them-To the people+A reminder;She has never been a helpless princessno lost queenno before anything#the one you want now The Queen of Assassins. The Prince Rowan at her side.Her cadre around her.They’d survive to tell the tale#&the people know it.Hope.How far from the assassin and the captain we’ve come.the right hand man.What about Elide?Her plan1by1#Defiant not helpless dare I say she felt it too-Never againDeath her melody the one thing they all sharedHer never ending pursuit of Freedo#death her first friend the sun her first gift the question&answerAelins not using her power shes saving it for Maeve&gives that up for them
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Rhythm 0, The Milgram Experiment and The Stanford Prison Experiment (and others) show how people will abuse their power and authority if given the chance without consequences, and that's so so scary imo.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#take a wild guess what I've been watching again#the stanford prison experiment is the scariest one imo#you separate a group of students. one side play as guards the others as prisoners#as a guard you're allowed to make any action it takes to get the prisoners to behave#this experiment was meant to go for two weeks but had to be cancelled after ''only'' six days cuz it's become too extreme#prisoners were going insane. got panic attacks. starting some sorta rebellion#the guards started to be more brutal and abusive. making the prisoners sleep on concrete or harming them with bats#even tho one source said they were encouraged by the scientists to go such extremes#rhythm 0 is also very scary. it was meant as some sorta art project. visitors of the art gallery had an assortment of different things like#roses. wool. food. pens but also knives and guns#one woman was then standing there for like 6 hours and had the visitors do anything they liked without any reaction or consequences#at first people were giving her roses or fed her but pretty soon people started to write on her. scratch and stab her with the knife#later they even tore her clothes off and planned on doing worse things#when the experiment was about to end and she showed reactions. the people who previously did some sorta bad things to her#all of a sudden felt bad. panicked and fled#some others went to her. wiped her tears away and hugged her#if this isn't messed up. i don't know what is
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I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.
I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.
I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.
I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.
I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.
I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.
I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.
I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.
I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.
#trans woman#trans pride#trans#lgbt#lgbtq#addies high thoughts#transgender#pre op mtf#post op mtf#mtf trans#mtf girl#mtf hrt#trans hrt#hrt#trans rights#transmysogyny
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