#when a character is so haunted throughout life that even a peaceful happy ever after is just not... it.

[nikoisme]

Nothing like a story where the happy ending is death aaghh

[msmorningstaarr]

Holy and Heathen - Chapter 9 (A Fallen Star.)

Pairing: young!Oberyn MartellxF!Original Hightower Character

Word count: 6.8k

Chapter Warnings: fingering (f receiving), full of fluff stuff, oberyn finally being a good hubby;

ao3 | masterlist

Chapter Summary: Oberyn is understanding that part of a duty involves letting go of the past to live fully the present. But some actions demand consequences.

(Except for Melara Hightower, all characters do not belong to me but to George RR Martin, author of the 'A Song of Ice and Fire' book series.)

Before you read... I'm sorry for taking so long. I must confess I feel without motivation nowadays, but I'm trying my best to finish this story <3 likes, reblogs and comments are totally welcome!

Oberyn

Melara slumbered peacefully on his arms as the glimpses of sunshine made its way throughout his private quarters. Her blonde hair was messy and wild in a way he only saw on their first night. The warmth of her body innocently rubbing against his caused a sensation of comfort and relaxation. He had to admit that his life seemed too different and full of guilt as deeper he dived into marital life, but the little lady had nothing to do with it. His fingers traced where he assaulted her. The bruises were disappearing, although still visible. No man should ever be cruel towards a lady, especially when the lady in question was his own lady wife and the day they fought still haunted him until this day, even after her forgiveness.

Last night, he left that tavern adamant on his decision to make that feast as chaotic as possible. Wine had taken control over his head and he wanted to torment his mother, Melara, the drunk ones in the dance floor or simply anyone who would cross his path. He was angry at the world that Elia seemed so happy without him around. Jealousy screamed in his ears as he imagined dragon seed sowing inside of Elia instead of his own. As he rode back to the castle that night, he wanted everyone to feel at least a small part of everything he felt regarding Elia’s pregnancy… until he saw those scared eyes of Melara, not blinking for a moment once Oberyn extended his hand at her for a dance. 

The memory of his lady wife’s frightened gaze made his mind go on a spiral of turmoil and he realised that he had no right to interfere and ruin one more thing for her, not that night. The more he would talk to her, the more he could see the vulnerability through her eyes and how scared of him she was, it struck a chord within him, awakening a sense of responsibility and remorse. As the prince gently ran his fingers over the fading bruises, he couldn't shake the guilt that laid over him. No matter how much he tried to justify his actions as a means to cope with his own frustrations, he knew he had crossed a line.

Oberyn could not upgrade his feelings towards Lady Melara from one day to another swiftly. However, after being inside her walls - beyond fucking her, the dornish prince could see more and more of another side of her. He noticed her fingers intertwining on his every time she wished to speak. He noticed her eyes narrowing as her cheeks blushed once he spoke some explicit sentence. He grinned at how clumsy she could be at times when she would dance with him. He could finally appreciate how soft her lips were every time his own lips encountered hers. Maybe it was still the fear and suspicion over him, but Oberyn finally would feel like his lonely star was falling from the sky and being nearer to him, to become human. Melara was quite different from Elia, but her charm was undeniable and unique under his eyes. Oberyn felt privileged, once the Daynes were not the only ones with a piece of a fallen star; if they forged a sword, involuntarily the salty prince forged a wife.

The sunlight filtering into the room cast a warm glow on Melara's peaceful face. In that moment, Oberyn felt a wave of protectiveness and tenderness. He swore to himself that he would be a better husband, one who didn't let his monsters control him. He couldn't erase the past, but he could shape the future. If Elia could so easily fall for Rhaegar and cast him aside, why not could he grow to like Melara as well? He knew for a fact that his silver princess had the same melancholic gaze as Elia’s silver prince had.

What distressed Oberyn was the fact that Elia seemed to be so happy without him and yet, she held his feelings with enticing words of loving more than one person at the same time. Slowly, his mind had peace with the fact that loving Elia could be nothing more than longing and he knew his sister knows it too, although likes flying near the sun, never daring to touch it. Elia had Rhaegar and she seemed more than happy around him, Melara deserved to feel as happy too. His mother’s words at their breakfast enlightened his head and a sense of duty towards his house and family started to make sense. It could doom everything if anyone could read any content of their letters indeed. He stared at Melara once more and understood a life-changing revelation for his life: being mature was the only way out. He had nowhere to go; he was the heir, he was married and he was a man of his word. Melara’s dutiful presence made sense to him now, once legacy weighed over him.

Carefully disentangling himself from Melara's sleeping form, Oberyn rose from the bed and moved to a nearby table where a decanter of water and a basin were set. As he cleaned his face and splashed water on it, his own reflection in the mirror stared back at him, metaphorically using it as a manner to self-reflect on his actions. For so long, Oberyn never thought of feeling guilt for indulging himself with someone and here he was, drowning in guilty at every time he would remember the evening he fucked the tavern girl. He repeated himself that his lady wife would never know, she was just a servant girl somewhere in the desert village, in a random tavern. He would never see that woman again. The salty prince stared at his silver princess, watching her slender features perfectly shaped on that thin nightgown and slowly his digits traced gentle circles on her cheeks and soon after, waking up his wife.

"Good morning, husband." Melara said, yawning and pulling her hair behind her ear as he curled his lips on a smile. The princess sat on the bed and her eyes seemed wary, her body expression felt tense. Has he done something wrong?

"Good morning, wife." Oberyn replied to her, watching her sit down. The words from Elia’s last letter echoed in his mind and he wondered: could he be capable of loving more than one person at the same time? The salty prince beamed at his wife, who shrunk her body and joined her legs as she sat in bed. Her little eyes stared at him, not blinking for a second and with unexplainable emotions. She seemed to be uneasy, fearful and suspicious, which made the guilty devour his thoughts once more. Did Oberyn have the power to provoke so many hard feelings on her? 

"Look at me properly when I speak to you, princess," Oberyn said, with a smug smile. 

Melara then raised her face and adjusted her posture to stare at him, cheeks burning red in heat of embarrassment.

"Pardon me, husband." Melara tried to cover the bruised marks with her hands as she looked away and tried to leave the bed, but Oberyn was quick to hold her by cupping her face, bringing his silver princess closer to him.

"Don’t be." He muttered, caressing her chin. "Do I cause some sort of fear in you?"

The blonde girl sighed, biting her lips as her eyes stared at the ceilings in a search of words. "I-I…" She tried to speak.

"Be honest to me, Melara." Oberyn endured his words and leaned closer to his wife. "Do I frighten you?"

Already tearing and with nowhere to go, her lips left a low ‘yes’ leave her lips, which made Oberyn stare at her in silence, trying to find his own words to reply to it. However, after some taciturn minutes, his lips would finally open up once more.

"The day I first saw you in King’s Landing you were outstanding, my lady. I have to admit it." He beginned. "I must say I was not interested in you, even told Queen Rhaella I had no desire to grow any type of affection for you… my heart was busy with other people. However, I always thought of you as someone false, secretly involved in debauchery, hiding under righteousness to cover any of your failures, sins you may commit. That thought enticed my desires, I wanted to fuck your holiness away," His hands traced her arms once more, glancing at the upper members. "Still, the night you cried because we touched each other before our wedding I could see you were not lying and you were indeed innocent. And yet I wondered ‘how can someone this naive be this fearless?’ because you have only smiled at me once, at our wedding night after I made you come so much you were close to passing out. Not even one more smile, beam or slight grin after that, my lady." With this sentence, Oberyn held her hands and kissed them, gently. "Ever since I met you, I have been spiralling in guilt, I must confess. I should never have pushed you, assaulted you. I should never raise my voice at you. I should be more compassionate with you. For I have no wish to take the fearless gaze from your eyes, Melara."

"My prince…" Melara tried to speak, but Oberyn came closer and involved his arms around her waist, forcing her to straddle his thighs. She breathed heavily as the bright blue sea of her eyes met his dark brown, widow’s peek. Oberyn rubbed his nose against hers and his words fastly cut hers.

"Please, let me in, Melara." He pleaded, grabbing the back of her neck to pull her closer. "I promise to let my guard down for you to come in too."

Melara slowly touched her lips on his, brushing it as her fingertips caressed his face, allowing the contact between them. Oberyn squeezed her hips and his tongue invaded her mouth, exploring with eagerness and desire. Feeling the heat increase between both of them, Oberyn locked his wife in his arms, wishing that moment to never end. Melara tasted so differently now with sobriety taking care of him. Her smell was everywhere, her lips were plump and soft, her body was hot, nipples piercing through the night dress and rubbing against his bare chest as their tongues danced in full lust.

"My lord… husband…" Melara dropped her words while Oberyn kissed her neck and his hot breath caused goosebumps throughout her pale skin. The salty prince held her tight, pressing her centre against his growing bulge and letting a soft moan leave her lips. He smirked at the sight. "We did it last night… do you wish to do it again?" Then, Oberyn stopped his touches and only held her by the waist.

Her innocence screaming through her eyes went back into something as sweet as honey. Something he found to be annoying the old days now he even thought as sweet to see her eyes intensely gazing at him, mouth dried as she swallowed her spit. 

"You do not wish to be touched?" Oberyn asked, gently.

Melara’s breath caught in her throat as Oberyn’s question hung in the air, and she hesitated for a moment before finding her voice. "No, husband. I do wish to be touched," she whispered, her eyes still locked with his.

Oberyn’s gaze softened as he looked into her eyes, his hands tenderly caressing her waist. "Your desire must matter to me, Melara. I won’t push you into anything you’re not comfortable with." His hands slowly started to hold and lift her simple nightdress as he stared at her. "I know you don’t wish to use my mouth, fingers on you or undress you, but let me do this at least for once." Melara could not blink her eyes and swallowed her own spit as Oberyn kept undressing her. "Let me please you. I am tired of fucking you like an old, frail man… in only one position and almost fully clothed. Let me taste you like you deserve, my lady. Let me see your teats and suckle on them before our children do. Let me swim my tongue on your cunt as I eat you like it’s my last meal. Let me see your bare body underneath or on top of mine." Oberyn noticed her nails pressing against his shoulder and her wetness leaving a small mark on his trousers. He smirked at the feeling and his cock already gave signs of excitement. Her hips were already fully exposed. "I promise I’ll pray with you after we finish committing our sinful activities. I shall go even further and fast with you, so the Gods can see how willing to please you I am."

Melara overheated immediately and pouted her lips, ashamed. "Husband…" She moaned as Oberyn smugly smiled.

"You’re already wet, wife. Let me take care of this." Oberyn carefully controlled her hips, bouncing it back and forth as his fallen star whimpered, riding his thigh. "I see how keen you are when it comes to riding, my wife," he whispered when bit her ear. Melara arched her head back, lifting her arms so the salty prince could finish leaving her nude to his sight.

And there she was, fully naked in his presence. Her hands tried to cover her nudity immediately in shame, however, Oberyn was quick to prevent her actions and admired her nipples on display for him. His glance lowered to her belly and hips and then returned to her face, deeply blushing. "Don’t feel embarrassed. I am already bewitched by your body, my fallen star." 

His fingers reached her lips once more, as a sign of the intimacy he wanted to begin and his digits traced desperate moves onto her soft lips but his own reached her neck to kiss and nibble it. Melara squirmed and Oberyn locked his arms around her thin waist, eager for more. "Lay down," Oberyn softly commanded and Melara complied, still attempting to shield herself from his intense gaze. The vulnerability in her eyes did not go unnoticed by Oberyn, who understood the delicate nature of this moment.

A blend of desire and vulnerability as Oberyn and Melara navigated the uncharted waters of intimacy. Oberyn's gaze lingered on Melara's exposed form, appreciating the beauty that lay before him. His words were both a plea and a promise, a request for consent and a declaration of his intent to please her.

Melara, blushing and overwhelmed, tried to cover herself instinctively, but Oberyn's confident touch and commanding presence prevented her from concealing her nakedness. His admiration for her body, expressed with both words and actions, was a testament to the passion that simmered between them.

Oberyn's fingertips traced the contours of Melara's lips, a gesture that spoke of the intimacy he sought to explore. His kisses on her neck sent shivers down her spine, and the room vibrated alongside her voiced desire.

As Melara remained laying down, her hands covering her breasts and her legs crossed, Oberyn hovered over her. He admired her sunburnt skin, a contrast to his sun-kissed skin, that spoke of Dorne's relentless sun. His fingers gently moved to her hands, coaxing them away from her chest.

"Don't hide from me, my fallen star," he murmured, his voice a blend of tenderness and desire. "I want to see all of you, to know every inch of the woman I wish to please."

With a gentle touch, he guided her hands away, allowing her to lay exposed beneath him. The room seemed to pulse with the shared heartbeat of Oberyn and Melara. As their bodies intertwined, Oberyn carefully split her legs open for him and kept looking at the apex of her thighs, salivating in lust. Following his natural instincts, his index pressed against her swollen clit and it made Melara blush even more – if possible, as she suppressed her moan. "I don’t want you to hide those moans from me either, my wife." He said, circling his finger on her throbbing sweet spot. The silver princess could not hold back anymore and her hands covered her eyes as she tried to release her tension when Oberyn carefully touched her cunt and her throat let out quiet moans whilst Oberyn drove her to pure bliss.

The salty prince felt so satisfied to see her bare body squirming and enjoying herself that his own length leaked that early juice to every small move Melara did under his touches. His index increased his pace on her clit the faster he moved, the louder she screamed and Oberyn was already convinced that everyone in the castle could hear her sweet sounds of pleasure. “Let go, fallen star…” 

Melara already gave signs of an imminent climax reaching her body and immediately raised her upper body to face Oberyn, trembling her body and finally releasing the tension like waves crashing rocks. The prince grinned at her numb body recovering in the mattress after so many actions from Oberyn’s fingers, which he used to introduce inside of his lady wife and take a last sigh from her mouth. He leaves her cunt full of her wetness and tastes it with his own lips, fully pleased to have a piece of her climax with him. “Was it of your liking?” Oberyn asked, laying by her side as the princess breathed heavily.

Melara turned to face him and opened a sly smile. “Yes, husband.” She whispered, closing her eyes to feel Oberyn caressing her face. He could notice how relaxed and less serious she was now, leaving him under the impression that she no longer was under constant guard up to him and finally let him inside her world. “D-did you enjoy it, husband?”

Oberyn smiled mischievously and passed his fingertips over her body. “You have no idea of how much I did, wife.” He replied, now tracing his fingers over her pale skin. “Do you feel any sort of guilt after I did it to you?”

Melara's sly smile lingered as Oberyn's fingers traced over her face and body. The atmosphere between them had shifted, a newfound ease replacing the earlier tension. As Oberyn continued to explore her skin with gentle caresses, Melara's vulnerability and openness were evident.

She hesitated for a moment before responding to his question, her eyes meeting his. "No, husband," she replied softly. "I don't feel guilt. It was... different than I expected. But not in a bad way."

Oberyn's mischievous grin persisted as he observed her reactions. "Different, you say?" he teased. "Well, my lady, we've only just begun to explore each other. There's much more to discover, don't you think?"

Melara blushed at his playful tone but couldn't help but smile back. The walls that had once surrounded her seemed to be crumbling, allowing room for genuine connection and understanding to grow.

Oberyn pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I want you to feel no shame or guilt, Melara. We are partners in this journey, and your desires matter to me. Whatever we explore together, it's a shared experience."

Melara nodded her head and her eyes seemed to stare at a blank spot, thinking about that small dialogue between them. Oberyn watched her carefully and sat on bed, noticing his member getting flaccid after not engaging in any action. 

Oberyn observed Melara's contemplative expression, realising that their exchange had left an impact on her. As he sat on the bed, he continued to caress her cheek gently, a silent reassurance that he was there with her in the aftermath of their shared intimacy.

Melara, lost in her thoughts, finally turned her gaze towards him. "It's just... I never thought it could be like this," she admitted, her voice a mix of curiosity and vulnerability.

Oberyn chuckled softly. Melara, deep in her thoughts, eventually turned her gaze toward him. "I never imagined this side of marriage," she admitted, her voice soft yet filled with curiosity. "It's both frightening and... intriguing."

Oberyn chuckled, his playful demeanour softened by a genuine warmth. "Marriage is a journey, my lady. It holds surprises, challenges, and pleasures. What matters is that we navigate it together."

As he sat on the bed, Melara joined him, and they shared a quiet moment, the air thick with the unspoken. Oberyn's gaze remained tender, a silent assurance that they were treading this unfamiliar path as equals. “Do you wish to finish your… desires too?” Melara asked, with a hint of unease.

Oberyn smirked and looked at her, surprised with her sudden move. “I had no idea I had unlocked a new personality in you, my lady.” He said, giggling. 

Melara lowered her head, ashamedly. “I thought I should expect to comply with your wishes, husband…” 

Oberyn scratched his eyebrows, trying to think of a response to that passive sentence coming from his wife’s lips. For him, part of feeling Melara as an equal was also in his sexual desires. How could he teach her that she also could be entitled to an opinion? It was a new situation for him, but the prince was trying actively to be patient with her, for he knew well that Faith and her conservative family had put her through. “You are completely entitled to an opinion, my lady. Just like that day you requested me to send Obara and Nymeria away,” he said, staring at her with an arrogant gaze. “If you do not wish for me to fuck you with my cock, then I will not. This part of me and you being equals as a couple.”

Melara looked at Oberyn with a mix of surprise and relief as he spoke. His acknowledgment of her agency in their intimate moments was a revelation, and it resonated deeply with her. She had expected a different reaction, a response that mirrored the societal norms she had grown up with. Oberyn's unconventional approach caught her off guard.

The weight of expectation seemed to lift from Melara's shoulders. Her unease turned into a subtle smile, and she met Oberyn's gaze with newfound confidence. "Thank you, husband," she replied, her voice holding a blend of gratitude and surprise. "I appreciate your understanding."

"Your desires matter, Melara," Oberyn reiterated, his hand finding hers. "We'll explore at a pace comfortable for both of us. And if there's anything you wish to share or ask, know that I am here."

Melara nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. The connection between them deepened in the shared vulnerability, a bridge built on trust and understanding. The room, once charged with passion, now held a different energy, an intimacy that extended beyond the physical.

“Do you still wish to go see Planky Town, my wife?” Oberyn asked, still holding her hand. Oberyn's question brought a twinkle to Melara's eyes, and she nodded enthusiastically. The newfound understanding and connection between them seemed to infuse a sense of joy into the room. As they held hands, the atmosphere shifted from the intimate aftermath of their shared vulnerability to a lighter, more carefree energy.

"Yes, Oberyn," Melara replied eagerly. "I would like that."

Oberyn squeezed her hand affectionately, appreciating the genuine enthusiasm in her response. As they discussed the details of their visit to Planky Town, the air in the room seemed charged with a different kind of excitement. The dornish prince was happy to see Melara interested in blending with her subjects and actually, even surprised. He never really considered her to be a person who actually cared to look after the poor and visit those damp places, but after recollecting the memory of her being a former servant of the Faith of the Seven, her attitude made sense to him. 

“Go to your chambers and fetch your handmaidens to be ready. But make sure to use a veil, I don’t want you to be more sunburnt as we walk through the desert.” He softly commanded his wife, who did as he said quickly, leaving him alone in his chambers to prepare himself for the day Oberyn promised Melara.

————

Oberyn usually rode on horse to the village whenever he decided to visit there, but with Melara in his company, he felt it was most appropriate for her to go on a chariot by his side, admiring the sultry dunes of sand along the way by her window. Before he could get ready himself, the red viper commanded one of his servants to deliver a message to Melara’s handmaidens to fetch her a specific dress he gave her. It belonged to Elia and it was orange, with mustard sleeves, quite similar to a tunic in fact. The dress carried beads and golden pearls embroidered in it and it suited too well with the yellow veil she chose for the occasion. Besides ravishing her with gold and jewellery, Melara only walked with a few accessories: an Seven Pointed silver ring and the Valyrian Steel necklace he gave her, alternating it with a sapphire necklace she carried from her homeland. That day she was addressed with a golden necklace, carved with orange gems. In her hand, Melara carried a small fan to refresh her face as the chariot made his way. It wasn’t a long trip, but Oberyn wanted to make it as comfortable as possible. He thought about bringing his daughters, but figured he would not push them onto Melara’s throat yet. Oberyn felt too distant from his children also, and missed being in their company, although the last events of his life and the constant need to administrate the household alongside Ysilla.

“Do you think the people will like me?” Melara asked, staring out of the chariot window at the passing scenery of the Dornish landscape. The sun cast a warm glow on her features, and her eyes held a mix of anticipation and uncertainty.

Oberyn, who was seated beside her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, providing a reassuring squeeze. "I have to admit you are quite the charming person when you seem relaxed as you are now, my fallen star," he replied with a smirk. "Dorne is a land that values strength, resilience, and beauty. You possess all of that. But I do fear they will find your pale skin quite strange." Oberyn joked and giggled.

Melara's lips curled into a shy smile. The orange dress, once worn by Elia, adorned her like a regal mantle. The golden necklace and delicate accessories added a touch of elegance, making her presence captivating.

As the chariot made its way toward Planky Town, the small entourage garnered the attention of onlookers. The common folk paused in their daily activities to catch a glimpse of their Prince and his new lady. Whispers and murmurs followed their passage, the people curious about the woman who now shared the prince's company.

Melara's fan delicately waved in front of her face as she maintained her composure. The bustling sounds of the village grew louder as they approached, and Oberyn could sense the mixture of excitement and nervousness in his wife.

"You'll see, Melara," Oberyn whispered, his voice a comforting murmur. "Dorne is a place that appreciates authenticity. Be yourself, and they will appreciate you for who you are."

As the chariot entered Planky Town, the vibrant colours and lively atmosphere welcomed Oberyn and Melara. The adventure into the heart of Dorne had begun, and the red viper felt ready to present Melara to their future subjects. The salty prince paid attention to Melara and smiled to see how enchanted she was with the small village.

There was no one fanning her and yet, the silver princess seemed to ignore this fact and walked anxiously looking at the traders, merchants and even the street urchins. Her hands squeezed his hand every time someone would offer her something, even a simple bow and a ‘your highness’ as a sign of respect to their overlord. It was the first time Oberyn would see Melara actually engaged in something and actually showing her feelings towards people and situations. She was nothing intense, though. However, the impact the small city had on her was visible in her curious eyes. 

A peasant approached them and Oberyn put his hand on his dagger, promptly staying on guard with his men and gently holding the princess. “Please, my lord, my lady, I am starving…” the man said, faintly. Melara stayed silent in front of him, her hands joined together as she hesitantly moved her lips, apparently thinking about doing something. The princess looked at Oberyn and awaited for any sign of allowing her to act and the prince just nodded, quietly. The man was stinking, his lips were pale and dehydrated, just a few strings of hair on his head and a huge open wound on his right foot. 

“Fetch this man some water and bring him food.” She commanded, kneeling in front of the man. Her hands delicately signed for him to show his feet and embarrassed, he tried to raise her immediately. “My lady…” He fastly tried to speak, but Melara blocked his actions with a strange force. One of her servants quickly left and Oberyn watched her take care of the frail man in front of them. He never could imagine that Melara had a heart of gold like this. Although still serious, she was calmly praying with him and checking on the bloody sore affecting his skin.

“Seven blessings upon you, my lady," the frail man whispered, tears welling up in his eyes as Melara attended to his wounds. The sincerity in her actions spoke louder than any words, and Oberyn couldn't help but feel a mixture of surprise and admiration for his wife's unexpected kindness.

The servant returned with water, food and a few ointments prepared by a random merchant on the street, figuring the silver princess could actually try something to heal the man. Melara ensured the man had enough to quench his thirst and satisfy his hunger. The act of compassion displayed by the princess drew the attention of the commoners, and whispers of approval rippled through the crowd.

Oberyn observed the scene, a subtle smile playing on his lips. His fallen star, who had once been perceived as reserved and distant, revealed a side of herself that few had seen. The contrast between her serious demeanour and the genuine care she bestowed upon the impoverished man created a captivating image.

The peasant, overwhelmed by gratitude, repeatedly expressed his thanks to Melara. "You are a kind soul, my lady. Seven Blessings for you and your lord husband."

Melara and Oberyn replied with a simple nod, her gaze still focused on treating the man's wounds. The prince and princess resumed their journey through Planky Town, leaving behind a moment that resonated with the people; a princess who, despite her noble status, had extended a compassionate hand to those in need.

Oberyn, now seeing Melara in a new light, couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. In only one day allowing himself to grow any sort of feeling for his wife, he would not expect to unveil the layers that comprised the woman who had become his princess. However, stubborn as he is, Elia’s memory still lingered on his mind and traces of guilt haunted him every time he thought about moving on from her, even if he was aware she was already under the spell of Prince Rhaegar and far away from him. It was foolish, stupid of him to maintain his head so obsessed with a forbidden passion that affected him intensely. Despite his growing admiration for Melara's compassion and strength, a part of him remained tethered to the past, unable to fully let go of the forbidden passion he harboured for his sister.

Guilt gnawed at him again, a constant reminder of the choices he had made and the consequences they had wrought. The memory of Elia, her smile and her touch ghosted him and refused to release its hold on his soul. Yet, amidst the turmoil of his emotions, Oberyn found solace in the presence of Melara. Her quiet strength and unwavering compassion offered him a glimpse of hope, a beacon of light in the darkness that threatened to consume him.

“You showed yourself to be very skillful using ointments in that man.” Oberyn pointed out, walking amongst the peasants.

Melara just lowered her head and nodded. “In the Starry Sept you learn all kinds of things when you’re a novice,” she replied. “I did took care of a man in the Starry Sept, husband. The former High Septon.” As she mentioned it, her eyes seemed a bit numb, saddened for a brief moment. The familiar melancholy reached her again thinking of him. 

“Is he dead by now?” Oberyn asked, staring at her. 

“Likely, yes.”  Melara replied, lowering her eyes and sighing heavily. 

Oberyn observed Melara's expression, sensing the sorrow that crept into her eyes at the mention of the former High Septon. The weight of the past seemed to press on her, and he could see the traces of melancholy etched on her face.

"Death often finds us all, one way or another," Oberyn remarked, his voice a mixture of understanding and empathy. "In the world we live in, even the highest and the holiest are not immune to its grasp."

Melara nodded in acknowledgment, her gaze fixed on the ground. "It seems you've had your share of encounters with it. The High Septon, your mother and... You possess a kindness not commonly found in our world."

Melara glanced at him, her expression a mix of acknowledgment and sorrow. "Kindness may be a rarity, but it costs nothing to offer it," she replied softly. "I learned that with the Gods."

Oberyn remained silent for a moment, contemplating her words. He couldn't deny the truth in them. In the harsh reality of their world, where power and strength often dictated outcomes, a simple act of kindness stood out. 

The prince raised his eyebrows as he stared at a blank spot amongst the street of merchants. “Since you were so dexterous with the ointments, I should take you to see my stove where I keep my poisons. Would you like that?”

Melara turned her eyes to him, surprised. “So is it true that you know about poisons?”

Oberyn grinned and squeezed her hand. “Yes. Mother had an alchemist from Lys to teach me once she noticed I took interest in the subject. Elia loved watching me manipulate it too.”

Melara looked at Oberyn with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. “The two years I was in Volantis I also learned a great deal with a magister.” The revelation that Oberyn had knowledge of poisons added another layer to the bonding they were forming with each other. The notion of visiting his personal space where he kept such substances honestly bothered him because it was a change of heart he felt he had to do. However, he was no longer interested in making Melara pass as an outsider in his life; the girl, although cautious, seemed pretty satisfied with the sudden change from her lord husband and Oberyn, as a sad bird in its cage had learned to live with the lack of freedom. If he could not have his freedom, he would at least enjoy what was left for him.

"Poisons are a dangerous craft," she remarked, her voice cautious. "What purpose does it serve for you to keep them?"

Oberyn's grin widened, and he continued leading her through the lively streets. "Knowledge is power, my fallen star. And in this world, one must be well-acquainted with various forms of power to navigate it. Besides, it's not only about harm. Sometimes, poisons can be the cure when used with the right intent and understanding."

Melara nodded thoughtfully, considering his words. For a moment, she stopped her walking and faced Oberyn in silence, until she wasn’t. “Why?”

Oberyn faced Melara, with a puzzled expression. “What do you mean, my lady?”

Melara bit her lips and faltered her words there, lowering her head. “Why do you treat me so gently after being distant?” She asked, practically soundless.

Oberyn sighed and squeezed her hands as she stared at him. “Because I no longer wish to fight the cage I was locked into with you. Of what is worth to yearn for freedom if I hurt you in the process?”

“You are not the one to blame, more of one to pity over the fact you could not follow your wish to be a Septa.” The dornish prince cupped her face with one hand, gazing intensely at her as he saw a glimpse of a tear fall from Melara’s eyes right there, in front of a crowd. “We are bound as a couple, you and I, Melara. From the day I took you as my wife, you and I became one soul, one flesh, one heart. If I hurt you, I hurt myself. Therefore, I find no joy in causing you pain. You deserve more than I have given you.”

Melara's eyes shimmered with emotion as she listened to Oberyn's heartfelt words. She reached up to touch his hand that cupped her face, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Thank you, my prince," she whispered softly.

Oberyn leaned down to press a gentle kiss on her forehead, his expression tender. "You are my princess, Melara. And I will do everything in my power to ensure that you feel safe and cherished every day."

With that, they resumed their walk, hand in hand, their bond strengthened by understanding and acceptance. As they disappeared into the streets, Melara started asking him questions about Essos, his abilities with poison and studies he did with scholars all around the planet. The silver princess was reserved but it was clear her interest upon Oberyn’s adventures and he could not deny his liking for that interaction and the attention he was receiving for someone he was finally seeing as his equal, not an inanimate object for him to produce heirs.

And with time passing Melara gave him signs of hunger, once both of them had not broken their fasts before leaving to see the village. As a sign of good will, Oberyn let her pick any place to eat by her choice… a terrible choice, he thought. Melara looked at all the taverns and disliked them immediately, almost. ‘The smell is not good’, or she would simply stare at the place for brief seconds until her mind decided it was not what she wanted. Oberyn was slightly annoyed, but complied with an unknown stock of patience with his lady wife.

Of so many tents, Melara chose a quite familiar and specific tavern. Its walls were grey, but it was loud and the food smelled good. The scent of pepper and chicken invaded his nose, alongside Melara’s who asked her husband if they could eat there. 

The address happened to be the same he visited last day and fucked the servant. In all honesty, Oberyn would never want his wife to be in the same establishment where he fucked other woman, knowing that the mysterious commoner he bedded could be there, serving him and Melara. Her eyes seemed so eager to explore the saloon, he had no right to deny her that. So with a sly nod, Oberyn allowed his silver princess to eat there with him. 

As she entered the establishment, the owners of the place quickly arranged for someone to serve the prince and princess and treats of all kinds arrived to them. Fresh fruits, the best dornish red they could fetch and breads of all kinds. Melara thanked them all while her cheeks burned red, once she was not used to having all the attention on her. Oberyn found sweet the way she would react to being pampered and, with time, he felt more comfortable once there was no signal of the girl he fucked being around.

“Get used to being treated like this. People cherish the Martells too much, my princess.” Oberyn stated, smirking before swallowing a grape. Melara pouted and before she could say anything, a loud noise from behind her would reach her attention. Oberyn, for the first time, would feel as if his heart was leaving his chest. The same way he would feel if his mother or nurse caught him doing something mischievous. There she was, the same girl he fucked staring at them. She looked pale and frightened, her eyes were puffy and appeared to be completely flabbergasted after throwing the jar of wine on the floor. Could all that reaction be only due to seeing him?

“Melara.” Said the girl, trembling terribly. How did she know his wife like this? The silver princess looked behind and petrified, stared back at Oberyn briefly before standing up.

“Lya.” Melara replied and the strange girl hugged her, still shaking.

------

Taglist: @princessanglophile @hiroikegawa @hiraethrhapsody

[bokura-no-digital-world]

Ken Week 2023 - Day 2: Wormmon and his evolutions

Days: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Title: My Partner Characters: Ken Ichijouji, Wormmon, Hikari Yagami, Tailmon and Hana Yagami Ichijouji (OC). Summary: 5 moments between Ken & Wormmon throughout the years.

Cross-posted on AO3 and FFN

Ken lied on his bed after returning from the Digital World for the first time ever. He couldn’t get over how amazing it had been, even with the fact Osamu caught him right away and confiscated his digivice saying it was his. He didn’t seem to mind, because he knew exactly when Osamu had put it and it was easy to get it. He was so happy about meeting his partner for the first time that nothing else seemed to mind. He rolled over and slumber overtook him.

The Digital World was absolutely breath-taking. Ken had never seen such a cute city before in his life. The Village of Beginnings – which he found out what it was called later on – smelled like baby powder, even though there were no human babies around. The seven-year old boy felt like he was stepping on a cloud; that was how soft the ground felt like. As he was walking through the fluffy green carpet, soft and low lullabies echoed all over. His digivice glowed purple and vibrated in his hand, so he brought it up and stared at it. “What’s going on?” He looked around him, hoping to find something that was reacting just like his digivce, and quickly spotted a digitama glowing in the same purple tone. As he was getting closer, the color on both things got stronger until they were both flashing in bright purple. Ken knelt down and grabbed the digitama in his hands, which immediately stopped glowing. He looked around, hoping to find someone who could help him on what to do next. But there was no one around. “How am I supposed to hatch this?” He involuntarily rubbed it and a small crack appeared on its shell. “I guess I have my answer.” Seconds later the digitama was fully hatched and its shell had turned into a crib. On it there was a light green Digimon with a large leaf hanging over his head and something that looked like a pink pacifier. “Hello, Ken. We finally met.” “Who are you?” “I’m Leafmon, your Digimon partner.” “What? My Digimon partner?” “That’s right. Every Chosen Child has one.” “Chosen Child?” Ken grabbed his digivice and stared at it. “You mean, there are other children who own one of this?” “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.” The boy put his digivice in his pocket and proceeded to pick his partner from his crib. “Nice to meet you, Leafmon.” “Nice to meet you too, Ken.” He grinned and snuggled on his chest. “I’ve been waiting a few months for you. I’m glad you’re finally here.” “You were waiting for me?” “I could only get hatched with your help.” “Oh.” The boy was surprised by it. “I’m sorry for taking too long to come find you.” “It’s okay. You’re finally here. That’s all that matters.” Ken couldn’t help but smile and held his partner tight against his body as he stood up. “Let’s get out of here, what do you say?” “I say let’s do it.” **** The cold breeze messed with Ken’s hair when he stepped outside his building that morning. He didn’t seem to mind at all though. In fact, he was just relieved everything was over and the Digital World was at peace again, as well as the Earth. He held Wormmon close to him and they crossed the street ahead. “Ken, where are we going?” “I’m taking you to a place I used to go with my friends from school before…” He never got to finish his sentence and Wormmon looked up at him, curious to know what had happened. “Ken.” “I’m sorry.” He opened his eyes after shutting them tight. “It’s over. You’re not that person anymore.” “I know.” Ken nodded. “It still haunts me from time to time. It will take a little while until it fully goes away.” “I’ll make sure it doesn’t come back again.” “Thank you, Wormmon.” “So where are we going?” “You’ll find out very soon.” It was all he said for the rest of their way.

The duo soon arrived to a public soccer field near the Ichijouji residence in Tamachi. As expected, it was empty because of winter. “Here we are.” Ken walked towards it and stopped right by its border. “This is where I used to play soccer almost everyday after class. I can’t even count how many times my mother had to come all the way here and beg me to go home. I could easily spend all night here.” “You don’t talk to them anymore?” “Not really. I lost touch with them after I became obsessed with the Digital World and thought it was just a videogame.” “Well, it’s never too late to start over. It hasn’t been that long since it happened, has it?” “It hasn’t, but I just… I don’t know.” “So you and your friends came here to play soccer?” “Mostly, yes. We’d get to caught up on it we didn’t want to play anything else. Now I’m just not that sure if I’m actually good at it or it was because of the dark seed I used to have on the back of my neck.” Ken absentmindedly touched it, as if he was expecting to find it there or something. “I’m pretty sure you’re good at it. You’re good at everything you do. I’ve seen it with my eyes.” “Thanks, Wormmon.” “Aren’t you gonna play?” “No, it’s too cold for that. Besides, you can’t really play soccer alone.” “You can call Daisuke. I’m sure he’d come here.” “Nah, he lives far and is probably with his family. Let’s just go back home.” “Alright. But Ken…” “What is it?” He looked down at his partner. “You can still play with Daisuke. I’m sure he will love to.” “Maybe.” He looked back up. “We’ll see how it goes next time we see each other, whenever that will be.” “So call him and change that.” “I’ll think about it. Let’s go home.”

****

Ken stood in the sidewalk and looked up towards the campus. There were a bunch of stairs to climb to reach the building, but he decided to sit down and relax for a few minutes before going to class. He couldn’t help but notice there was a large number of people with Digimon partners, and some of them even brought them to class. There hasn’t been a single one of them who didn’t smile at him automatically when they spotted Wormmon with him. “Ken, you have a lot of friends already.” “They’re not my friends, Wormmon. They’re only smiling at me because of you, actually.” “What?” “That’s right. It’s all because of you, because we have a partner, something in common.” “Ken?” He immediately turned around when his name was called and saw Hikari coming up the stairs towards them. “Hikari? What are you doing here?” “I made you lunch and wanted to give it to you before I go to college.” She smiled warmly as she handed him a pile wrapped in a green napkin. “Wow, thank you so much.” He stood up after picking it up from her hands. “Aren’t you going to be late for class because of it, though?” “No, don’t worry about it. I still have some time. College isn’t that far from here, as you know.” “I do. So I can take you and then come back.” “No, you don’t have to. It’s perfectly fine, I can go on my own. Tailmon is in my bag in case I need her.” “You brought her?” “Of course.” Hikari opened her bag and showed her partner to her boyfriend. “She didn’t want to be alone at home. I mean, without me.” “I see. Hello, Tailmon.” “Hi.” “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to college?” “No, I’ll be fine.” She walked to him and stared into his blue eyes. “But you’re definitely more than welcome to pick me up later.” “I will do that.” Ken couldn’t help but smile and placed his hands on her hips. “If I let you go, that is.” “Well, I guess I can stay five more minutes. But not more than that.” “I’ll take what I can have.” His hands slid to her back and he pulled her towards him, meeting her lips halfway in a passionate and slow kiss.

After about five minutes Hikari had left to her college, Ken and Wormmon finally made their way upstairs towards his building. The green package gently swinging with his movements. He looked up at sky, paying attention to its light blue color and the few clouds kilometers away from him. “Ken?” Wormmon called his name a few meters away and the boy looked down at him. “Aren’t you gonna come? If we don’t hurry, we’re gonna be late for your first class. I’m sure you don’t want this.” “Right.” He looked down at the ground briefly and let out a warm smile. “Let’s go.” “You seem happy.” “You think so?” Ken bent down and picked his partner up and they walked in together.

****

Ken stepped into the grass with his bare feet. He didn’t really like the itchy feeling from it on his feet, but sometimes he’d let himself experience that sensation. That day was one of them. The fresh countryside breeze passed by him, messing his short blue hair gently. He inhaled the scent of dew from a typical fall morning in the woods and stepped further in the small green area in the back of the house. It didn’t take long for Wormmon to join him. “The weather here is so nice, isn’t it?” He said cheerfully beside his partner. “It’s perfect.” “Yes, it is. It’s refreshing. I didn’t know I need it until we came here.” “So it was actually a good idea to follow Hikari’s suggestion, huh?” “You can say that again.” Hikari’s voice echoed from the back porch and the duo looked over towards her. “It was hard to convince him to come here. He’s not really the type to get away for the weekend.” “Okay, I deserve that.” “It took the doctor to say it’d be good for our child and their mom to spare for him to agree to come.” She removed her flip flops and stepped into the bright green grass with a large smile on his face. “Ken!” “I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly my ideal place to spare.” “Then what’s it?” “The city.” “Your ideal place to spare is the city?” “That’s right.” Ken nodded. “When I need to spare I go jogging for longer that than I usually do.” “You could try talking to someone too.” Hikari sat on the grass and hugged her knees. “That’s also very helpful.” “That’s the teacher talking.” He remarked with a grin. “Well, my students love it. So I don’t understand your complaint.” “I’m not complaining.” He grabbed a small rock near him and threw it away. “Isn’t it humid for you to lie down?” “No, it’s actually perfect.” Hikari moved her focus from the light blue sky above to her fiancé. “You should try it.” “Nah, I think coming here is enough for me.” “Being in touch with nature is good too. Come on, try it.” “Hikari is right, Ken.” Wormmon spoke. “You’re gonna have to give in into this eventually, when your child arrives.” “I know.” He was reluctant for a moment and then lied down next to his fiancee. “Alright.” “So how does it feel?” She looked at him while gently rubbing her slight growing belly. “I have to admit you were right. It feels good.” “Does that mean you’re willing to come here or any other place closer to the nature for a small trip?” “I don’t know. There’s a possibility.” “I have a feeling our son or daughter will love these places, so you don’t really have a choice.” “Well, I guess I’ll just have to accept it then.” He turned his head to look at her. “That’s right.” She stroked his cheek softly before leaning over and kissing him briefly.

****

“Hana, stay where we can see you.” Ken said when he noticed his four-year old daughter was going too far. “But, daddy, the butterfly is flying away.” “What butterfly, sweetheart?” “The blue one that was on a flower. We need to go after her.” Hana ran to him and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him up. “Let’s go, daddy.” “Wait a minute, Hana. We need to clean things up here first.” “No, we can come back later. Please, daddy.” She looked at him with pleading eyes. “Alright, let’s go.” He turned to Hikari when he heard her reacting to the whole situation and noticed a smile on her lips. “What?” “She completely dominates you. She just look at you like that and knows she wins you.” “She does not.” “She just did.” “I… I…” Nothing he said would prove her wrong. “I knew you’d see it as well.” “How can I say no to her? She’s our daughter.” “It isn’t easy, but you’ll learn it eventually.” She stood up and looked at him. “We’re ready to go here.”

About five minutes later, the couple arrived at where Hana was with Wormmon and Tailmon. She was knelt down near a flower watching curiously the butterfly she was staring at earlier. “Ken, look at this.” Wormmon said proudly and looked at his partner. “Hana loves bugs.” “Yeah, I can say that.” Ken replied with a smile and knelt down beside his daughter. “Is that the butterfly you were talking about earlier?” “It is. Isn’t it pretty, daddy?” “It’s a beautiful one, yes.” “Daddy, can we take it home?” “I’m sorry, Hana, but no. This butterfly lives in the nature. We can’t take it away from there, it won’t survive.” “So we’ll have to leave her here?” “That’s right.” Hikari bent over and placed her hands on her knees. “It may not seem like it, but she’s much better here. Believe me.” “Mommy, can we get a puppy?” “I don’t think so, sweetie. Me and your father work all day and we won’t have time to take care of a puppy properly.” “Daddy?” “Hikari, can’t we talk about this?” “Are you gonna take care of a dog?” “I’m sure we can figure something out.” “Not right now, I’m sorry. Hana is too young to take care of a pet alone. Maybe in a few years we can talk about it again.” “Okay.” Ken picked the girl up and placed her on his shoulders. “A balloon would be good though, right?” “Absolutely. A balloon is okay.” “Can I get to choose which one I want?” “Of course.” He looked up at her with a smile.

[catwolfsworld]

Closure

Characters: Xiao x gn!reader

Genre: Hurt/Angst

Warnings: Major Character Death, Grief, (no violence though, reader is already dead)

Word Count: 530+

Summary: Centuries after you've died, Xiao finally finds closure

A/N: I wanted this to be bittersweet, I hope it worked

Masterlist

It's been a long time since he last felt so peaceful, sitting on the edge of a cliff after banning yet another demon to where it came from. Even after all this time, he was still watching over Liyue. Ningguang and Keqing had long since retired and Beidou had given her ship away because she was too old. She had joined Ningguang in retirement and years later, they died, happy and of old age. Liyue harbour had changed a lot and so had Wangshu Inn. The only constants were Qiqi and Ganyu, who were still working as ever before. The traveller hadn’t visited in what must have been 150 years. It was even longer since they found their sibling. They promised to keep visiting, but those were becoming less and less.

Then, there was the topic of Xiao’s late lover. He had met you together with the traveller, who also helped you get together. You stayed by his side your whole life and had many adventures together. Until you couldn’t. Your limbs were getting stiff and you couldn’t move around as much anymore. Years later, you couldn’t move at all. You weren’t sick, just not as mobile anymore. Throughout all of it, Xiao stayed with you, he didn’t leave your side for more than a couple of hours. When you died, it was of old age and with a smile on your face, Xiao watching over you by your bedside as you fell asleep for the last time.

He himself was devastated. He didn’t want to leave you or have you leave him, although you promised him with your last words you would always be with him. Every minute, even though he didn’t want to admit it, he missed you. Your presence, your laugh, everything about you. He felt like you were haunting him. Xiao would see your face everywhere he looked, knowing it won’t be you when he double-checked. Overtime, it got easier. He learned to accept that you weren’t there anymore, accepted that he couldn’t hold you and make you laugh. Over time, he almost forgot what you looked like, what you smelled like, what you smelled like, how your giggles sounded, your laugh. He tried so hard to remember, but the more he tried to recall something, the more he forgot. After years, he gave up on it. Sometimes, he would hear your voice in his head and he had come to accept that this was all he would ever get from you. The pictures of you that existed were all in Xiao’s room and no matter how many owners Wangshu Inn had, all of them knew not to walk in there. Although your body was buried long ago, your bed was still the same. Xiao refused to rest there, taking the couch like he had all those years ago when you were getting older and had to rest almost all day.

Now, as he was sitting there, on that cliff, all alone, it was like he could feel you. You were sitting beside him, leaning on his arm, your hand in his. And even though Xiao knew it wasn’t real, he was happy. This was his closure.

Masterlist

[greensaplinggrace]

In a recent malarklina post you mentioned having many headcanons 👀 Care to share with the class?

So I went over some character hcs for the three of them in this post! But here are a few that are specifically Malarklina. (Some of these are set in an Immortal!Mal AU and some aren't, sorry if it gets a bit confusing).

Aleksander has a competency kink and is attracted to Alina showing off her sun powers and Mal showing off his tracking abilities.

Alina makes them both little suns that follow them around to always light their path. This is especially meaningful to Aleksander, although he'd never admit it, because he used to be afraid of the dark as a child.

Mal reminds Aleksander of Luda, and he often goes into depressive states when considering the fact of Mal's mortality. Once Alina fully grasps the reality of the situation, she often suffers from them as well. During these times, Mal tries to be there for them as much as he can, but it's a heavy burden to bear alone.

They all have difficult relationships with gender and sexuality and at one point actually end up sitting down (completely by accident, because Aleksander is allergic to emotions) to talk about this aspect of their lives in more depth.

Aleksander usually sleeps in the middle because he's a) touch-starved and b) an attention whore, but they switch it up on occasion.

Mal is the most clingy sleeper in the history of sleepers. Aleksander and Alina have both woken up on more than one occasion to Mal literally laying fully on top of them and wrapped around them like an octopus. Aleksander likes the weight and usually just snuggles in deeper but Alina has to wiggle out of the way most of the time so she can breathe.

Mal likes Aleksander with short hair but Alina likes him with long hair. This is the source of many fights in their relationship, none of which Aleksander is actually apart of.

Alina and Aleksander both like Mal with longer hair and so he's press ganged into growing it out.

Mal and Alina love every single song Aleksander hates.

When Mal pisses Aleksander off it's no sex for a day even after a dozen apologies, but when Alina pisses him off all she has to do is say sorry and he'll just eat her out right then, not a care in the world.

Aleksander is very physically affectionate, but Mal and Alina have phases of liking it and disliking it, so they have to balance a way to take care of each other's needs without pushing boundaries.

Aleksander is directionally challenged because I said so and Mal and Alina constantly have to make sure he doesn't get lost.

Kissing scars has become a very intimate practice between them all.

Aleksander keeps an obsessively clean house but Alina's paint supplies get everywhere, that paired with Mal just shucking off his hunting outfits anywhere in the house and dumping his gardening/hunting supplies wherever's most convenient means that Aleksander is in a constant state of annoyance about their living situation.

Alina makes a Rule about Mal and Aleksander fighting after Mal straight up tackles Aleksander off the side of the roof when they're trying to figure out how to replace shillings.

They all spar with each other at least once every other day. This mostly started as a means of keeping themselves sharp in case of danger, but it quickly became a bonding routine of sorts. Turns out Aleksander has a lot of information stored up about fighting. That paired with Mal's military training makes for some very intense spars as well as the rapid growth of all three of them into some of the most dangerous fighters on the planet.

@mal-zoya now has me convinced that it will take at least 500 years for Mal and Aleksander to admit they love each other.

Aleksander likes it when they wear his clothes. Alina likes wearing Mal and Aleksander's clothes. There is a lot of clothing sharing going on. It gets to the point where the only way they can tell who's clothing is who's is based on color scheme and the quality of the cloth and occasionally (but not always) the size as well.

Mal and Alina infodump all the time about their passions and Aleksander eats it up. He loves it. He thinks his partners are the smartest people in the universe.

When Alina is suffering from artist's block she goes to Aleksander for inspiration. When she's inspired she goes to Mal to create.

Mal is generally the one who cooks all of their meals because Alina will get distracted when she's going on an art spree and Aleksander will just straight up forget he's a human sometimes. But when Mal doesn't do it Aleksander does it because he has Standards and he's not about to let his partners starve to death, thank you very much.

Aleksander and Mal used to cook plainer foods in the beginning of the relationship but they both slowly shake off some of the chains of their upbringings and previous ways of life to slowly try out more elaborate and lush recipes. Alina has come home on more than one occasion to see them collaborating on a new recipe Aleksander managed to flirt/finagle out of one of the old ladies from the nearby village.

Alina likes to ride out every day and sometimes ropes Aleksander or Mal into going with her. There are lots of picnics and packed lunches in their life. When they go to an especially scenic spot, she'll sit there for hours and draw.

Mal won't ever be able to fully understand the meaning of Alina's immortality. It would be impossible to, even with many explanations and having to deal with Aleksander's own traumas as a result. But that doesn't stop him from attempting to learn as much as he can to make things easier for both of his partners.

Alina attempts to join the local ladies' knitting group in the nearby village but hates it. Aleksander, on the other hand, finds it to be the most valuable source of gossip in the village. He rapidly becomes a part of the club and returns home with boatloads of gossip by the day. Alina and Mal have no idea what to do with literally any of this information, but Aleksander certainly does. Getting involved in small town drama is, in his opinion, one of the best things he ever decided to do. Mal and Alina are beginning to think he needs some therapy.

Mal starts a little farm outside of their cottage and Alina starts a flower garden. Alina also begins to amass a small library over time, with the help of Aleksander "is this an original text?! maybe so" Morozova. Mal is not expecting to come home one day to an entirely new room built into the house and a massive collection of books lining the walls.

Alina and Aleksander will use their powers actively all day. In fact, they both get so comfortable with summoning that they just start letting their emotions affect their summoning all the time. And so Mal has a very good indicator for whether or not his partners are upset or happy based on the way the shadows and lights flicker, much akin to the way people judge how their cats are feeling based on what their tails are doing.

Also, though, Mal just feels proud that they both trust him enough and feel comfortable enough around him and in their home to feel as if they don't need to watch themselves constantly.

Alina still likes mapmaking and, after a few years of peace where she starts to get restless, she slowly begins to do it again. Every two months or so she'll go out on a long trip to map a few of the nearby areas. She quickly builds up a side business of selling her personal maps to the people of whatever town they're living near.

Aleksander eventually opens up enough to share some of his past with Alina and Mal. He especially begins to engage more with the pieces of his culture that he had to forsake in order to assimilate over the years. Alina and Mal are always more than willing to help him puzzle through a half remembered recipe or a phrase in his native tongue that he's partially forgotten. They feel honored every time he shares a small piece of his history with them.

Nightmares are a common occurrence between all of them and whenever one happens a cuddle pile of epic proportions ensues. Also sometimes they talk about feelings have some pillow talk to work through things. Aleksander will also sometimes sing them back to sleep. His lullabies are haunting, but his singing voice is beautiful, and it usually does the trick. He refuses to sing for them outside of these moments, however.

Alina adores the height difference between her and her very tall partners. She thinks its fucking stellar.

Alina and Mal start up an orphanage on many occasions throughout the centuries. Alina loves kids and constantly helps them when she can. She mourns the fact that she won't ever be able to adopt without having to watch them grow old without her.

They've all discussed having kids at multiple points throughout their lives, and they all want to do so. But Aleksander wants to wait until Grisha persecution is no longer even the hint of an issue. Alina and Mal agree to wait, largely because they want some time to think on it too.

Mal tries to teach Alina how to shoot one day and she accidentally clips Aleksander as he's coming outside with lunch. He never lets her live it down and on more than one occasion attempts to use it for sympathy points, even hundreds of years later.

Aleksander is both the big spoon and the little spoon, but he likes being the big spoon (in reality he's a knife, of course). Mal likes being the little spoon but is often relegated to the big spoon, and Alina likes being both.

Alina paints a portrait of Mal and Aleksander cuddled up in bed once and no matter how much they entreat her to burn it she absolutely refuses to do so.

Aleksander is basically a walking, talking source of illegal activity, and he can't be taken anywhere anymore without expecting some sort of crime to take place.

Alina tries to adopt a little black cat one day and Aleksander gets outrageously jealous. He spends about two months being bitter, then another two months trying to chase it off, but the creature stays with them all until it dies of old age (and he'll never admit to privately grieving it's loss, although Mal and Alina both know it).

All of their communication skills are absolutely atrocious but Alina is the best. Mal is the second best. Aleksander doesn't even rank. Over time, they get into the habit of it, though. They practice at it painfully for years until they reach the point where healthy communication becomes second nature.

Mal proposes to Alina one day (after much talk between all three of them) and they get married. A couple years later they both propose to Aleksander (after zero talk, he is suitably surprised and also maybe a bit teary eyed). They have an illegal wedding on holy ground at midnight with a bribed and essentially kidnapped pastor.

Aleksander spends an excessive amount of money on Alina and Mal. He buys them things constantly and lavishes them with gifts. Alina loves it but it grates on Mal for a time until he realizes it isn't a means of manipulation as much as a love language and a shoddy attempt at communication and expressing feelings.

Once they reach the modern world (in an Immortal!Mal AU), they all get phones and send each other the most cursed texts in all of history. The group chat is a hellspace and the individual chats are just pure shittalking. Nowhere is free.

Shopping in the modern world consists of chaotic impulse buys and the excessive waste of money. They're all each other's impulse control, but they can't always go out together at the same time, so it's usually only in groups of two. Which means that when Alina's gone, Aleksander fills the cart with sweets. And when Mal is gone, Alina fills the cart with an inordinate amount of bananas (which are new) and microwavable easy to eat meals and paint supplies and oh! look at these pretty notebooks on display!. And when Aleksander is gone the cart its legitimately just a free for all. He comes home and there's mincemeat and apple pies cooking for some reason. Mal has a new apron. The fire alarm has been replaced. Turns out they stopped at an ikea on the way back and now they have a better dining table.

Alina is the best driver of them all. Aleksander goes way too fast but he never crashes. Mal refuses to even step foot in a car for about half a decade.

Aleksander is actually the one that gets into makeup. He quite enjoys it and thinks maybe his partners need to live a little for once. They both very firmly disagree.

Alina loses the tv remote constantly and it drives Mal absolutely wild. Sometimes Aleksander will steal it just to watch Mal go into a frenzy looking for it.

Alina builds up a large following for her art (and the art of her 'ancestors') over the centuries. Modern day Alina is basically famous, but luckily nobody knows her face.

[thefanficmonster]

One Can Never Escape Destiny

Shan-Yu x Empress!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Murder scene (non-graphic)

Genre: Angst, Romance (one-sided)

Summary: After fulfilling his plan of taking over China Shan-Yu and his army have made it to the palace of Empress Y/L/N Y/N. However, one obstacle the warrior still fails to overcome is swaying the Empress herself, getting in her good graces. Unable to kill her, he is left to do all he can to have her spare him as much as a civil word.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for such and amazing and so different request from what I’m used to. This is my first time writing for a Disney character, a villain even, so I hope to have fulfilled your expectations even with it being so late in posting. Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

She refuses to eat or see the light of day. She’s been hidden away in a single room of the palace ever since China fell. She attempted to fight and gave her all when her eyes met his poisonous ones and her sword’s blade collided with his. The fight was a difficult one, he had to admit. She would’ve won had she not had a heart of gold. Putting her right-hand man’s under the sharp dagger in his merciless hand left her no choice. She loved that man, he could see it in her eyes. And he wasn’t going to kill the pathetic excuse for a member of the Empress’ council, but seeing that look of devotion and adoration in her gaze when her eyes met with his drove him in a fit of absolute rage. He couldn’t restrain himself and let the blade slide across the man’s neck only after the Empress had surrendered.

“NOOO!“ She had shrieked in terror and sorrow, all her pain audible in her cry that echoed all throughout the palace, piercing the monstrous warrior’s ears. He couldn’t bare to see her so distraught, over another man on top of all, so her ordered his men to take her to one of the chambers and leave her to collect herself. She still had fight left in her though. She escaped from his men’s grasps and overpowered them both until a third one knocked her out cold with the handle of his dagger. A choice of action that landed him the second dead body to be thrown out of the palace that night.

He specifically instructed the man taking Y/N to her chamber to be gentle and caring with her and to leave the door unlocked, maybe even open a crack. He didn’t want her to feel trapped in her own home. 

He sat by one of the windows all through the late dark hours of the night and even met the sunrise at dawn. He contemplated so many things, scolded himself even. He had become the ruler of China and yet he had never felt so low and defeated. He even let his mind wander to the option of killing the Empress for his own peace of mind but he knew he wouldn’t be able to the second he realized he wasn’t even able to picture himself doing it. The very though sickened him to his stomach and he was disgusted with himself to have ever allowed himself to think such a thought.

The main thing troubling him was the fact that he didn’t know where such admiration came from. He had never admired nor respected a woman before but he felt the need to bow before her instead of the other way around. He wanted to be her loyal servant, tending to her every need at the bat of her eyelashes. He could barely believe himself either way - killing her or adoring her, they were both thoughts bordering into insanity, he couldn’t tell which was worse. Of course he could, he just wanted to lie to himself. He knew he could never lay a hand on her.

Shan-Yu had fallen under the spell of the very Empress he was supposed to end in order to fulfill his evil plans.

He should want her dead while he’s prepared to kill whoever dares even wish her harm. Funny how destiny works. Or perhaps this is karma punishing him for his evil ways by putting one bump in the road right in front of him - one so easy to get rid of in theory, but he could never commit to it.

It has been four full days since that fateful night and he hasn’t heard nor seen her. He’s not willing to disturb her peace and earn himself an injury from the infuriated Empress but the hours of overthinking, contemplating and self-battling are weighing heavy on him. His men are beginning to notice, although they’d never say anything - they may be cruel, dumb fools but they respect their lives enough to not put them at a risk like that. Not even a risk, more like certain death. They all obeyed his orders of bringing the Empress food three times a day every day and they all witnessed the defeat and worry that washed over their leader’s face whenever they brought back the dishes untouched hours after they had delivered them. 

So, after a lot of self-convincing and doubting, Shan-Yu has bitten the bullet - he is walking the halls to the Empress Y/L/N Y/N’s chamber. He makes it to her door sooner than he’d like, his confidence is not fully built. His composure could easily be shaken. His words are scrambled and even if he could form coherent sentences, he knows they die in his throat.

‘Pull yourself together, you pathetic mutt‘ He scolds himself for the hundredth time in the past hour. Easier said than done, though. She’s a woman of incredible strength, power and character. She was respected by every individual in China, not a single soul looked down upon her. They had already hated him, but now that he has allegedly put their dear Empress in misery, he’d be dead along with his army if they weren’t so strongly feared.

Shan-Yu brings himself to knock on the chamber doors, his voice a faint echo through the massive hallway when he calls out, “Empress, may I enter?”

No answer, as he expected. He is half expecting to not even be there, to have escaped. He knows her better than that though.

Cautiously pushing the door open, he’s met with a dark room only lit by the moonlight seeping in through a small rectangular window directly opposite the door. He sees her silhouette in the windowsill. She’s sitting facing away from him, looking out of the window at the rooftops underneath the clear, starry night sky. She doesn’t bother to turn her head to acknowledge his presence, also as expected.

A small detail he notices sends shivers down his spine - there are metal bars on her window. Why?

“I was a rebellious child. I knew my destiny before even understanding what it meant. All I knew was that I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be Empress. I wanted to be one of those brave souls who were prepared to leave to a front knowing they might not return.“ Her voice rings through the cold, dark space, bouncing off the walls in a haunting manner, enchanting him. “My father knew I would be more than capable of running away so I was frequently spending plenty of time here, locked up. As I am now.“

She is still facing away from him but he still shakes his head as though she could see him. “You are not locked here, Empress Y/N. The door is always open. This palace is still yours.”

“That you are right about.“ Y/N’s head turns finally and his heart drops.

She is pale, eyebags weighing heavy under her tired eyes. Her hair is covering her face but her pale complexion is more than visible even from behind her locks. She looks like she has been crying, not that she’s a woman who cries often. A tear of hers has the same value as a bar of gold.

She continues. “Chu Bao, the man you killed in front of my very eyes, was the only man I’ve ever loved and the only person who saw me as more than my title. I’m not just an Empress! Everyone forgets that!“

He feels hurt by her remark, “Y/N, I know. I know better than anyone. I have overtaken all of China and yet you are my greatest prize...”

She cuts him off, her shaky hands pushing her hair to the side so she can look directly at him, her crystal eyes meeting his menacing yellow ones with such intensity he feels it almost like a physical presence. “I am no prize, you monster! I’m a person who destiny played wrong! I given a role I have never been happy with. But I had to play it to maintain the honor of my family and of China as a whole. It taught me a valuable lesson: No matter the tries, one can never escape destiny. So...” she trails off, her eyes losing their feisty glow as she turns back to the window, “I embraced it and became one with my land, this palace, my title. And I will stay one with them till my death. Now, leave! And don’t bring me food anymore. Don’t check on me. I want it all to end the way it started - in this palace, in this chamber. I want to go out with the last bit of dignity I have. If nothing, I will die without ever bowing to you. I may have surrendered, but consider this me prolonging the fight.” He hears her scoff, a humorless chuckle, “The moment I die will be the moment I win.”

Shan-Yu has never been a man to live to face defeat. He always defeats the defeat, stands up taller than ever whenever he’s been brought down. Now is different, however. His defeat is inevitable. It hasn’t even happened yet, but he knows the battle’s lost. His hands are tied. He would never disobey a wish of Y/N’s nor could he live with her slowly dying. He cannot keep her alive against her will, and he can’t end it all quickly for her either.

She has already won, but she’s not aware.

Empress Y/L/N Y/N has defeated the monstrous, villainous conqueror Shan-Yu twice in her life: once when she had him fall in love with her and again when she chose to put an end to her life, leaving him powerless.

All he can do now is accept his defeat and allow for Y/N to become nothing but a battle scar on his heart.

[hissterical-nyaan]

The Promise

Pairing - Bucky Barnes/Desi! Female reader

Warning - Angst, sad ending, more angst

Summary - Bucky Barnes broke one promise that meant the most to Y/N

Word count - 1.5K

A/N - This is my first ever fanfic, I am very anxious so please be gentle with me :) This was created purely to make y'all cry lol. This is a songfic of "Lag ja gale" of Lata Mangeshkar ji. I absolutely adore that song and found it quite fit for this story!!! Also English isn't my first language and there might be grammatical mistakes. Thanks to @soradragon for beta reading this and helping me complete it, you are a blessing. Love you 💙 happy reading folks!

It was  peaceful in Wakanda, a cool night had taken its place from the hot humid air of the day, the stars were shining bright and serenity hung in the air.  It was impossible to imagine what the next day would have in store for everyone. No one had a clue that tomorrow was the day that would change everyone's lives forever.

There was the sound of soft humming coming from the modest hut which housed the one and only the White Wolf and his lover.

Inside was you, singing songs softly in your mother’s tongue before the two would go to bed for the night. It was a nightly ritual the two of you shared. For Bucky had found your voice so soothing it would chase away the recurring nightmares that would haunt his sleep every night. Bucky Barnes was unable to sleep without his love in his arms, without her angelic voice singing for him, and without her soft hand weaving through his hair. 

You had an awful day today, throughout the day you felt anxious and restless. As if your mind has been screaming at you that something bad was about to transpire. You had no idea what, but it was bad. if there is one thing you hated most, it would be not knowing what will happen next.

You liked being prepared for everything! Your distressed state made you itch for your ma's presence and her wise words. So the next best thing to feel like she was there was to sing your ma's favourite song. It was a song you had  beautiful emotional memories attached to.

Lata ji's masterpiece ‘Lag ja gale’. The song that always left you peaceful.

"What's on your mind, chaand? No cheesy love songs today?" Bucky teased lightly, slightly puzzled by the song choice. Normally, you would sing more happy, sweet love songs when you were in a good mood, not to forget how out of character you acted the entire day. 

"Acha? You said you don't like my cheesy songs na, so I thought today I will comply with your wish and not sing my ‘overly romantic, Shona Babu songs.’”  You shot back, poking your tongue out as not to worry him. Bucky pouted slightly.

"Arre baba okay now don't pout, I was just joking. I will sing the cheesy songs again tomorrow, right now this song just feels right to me.” Hearing that, Bucky mumbled a quiet yes and snuggled deeper into you, holding you tightly and moving his head ever so slightly to listen to your voice.  

Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho

Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho

Lag Jaa Gale Ae Ae… (Embrace me, dear, who knows whether or not this beautiful night will ever come again. Maybe in this life we may or may not meet again)

You remember the first time you met Bucky, in Shuri's lab. You were a   good friend of Shuri. You were a researcher staying in Wakanda with T'challa's permission and eventually befriended the Princess. The two of you loved to talk about anything and nothing. One day Shuri told you about the Winter soldier staying here in Wakanda. You had heard many things about him, but never had you seen him in the flesh. Till you saw him come into the lab, bruised and eyes swiming full of emotions, but the distraught was the most clear in those blue piercing eyes.

It was at that moment that you had decided you would help him, and try to soothe the aches and scars that had been covering his fragile heart. He was put in the cryo soon after your first encounter, but you couldn't help but think about him often.

Ham Ko Mili Hain Aaj Ye, Ghadiyaan Nasib Se

Ji Bhar Ke Dekh Lijiye, Ham Ko Qarib Se

Phir Aap Ke Nasib Men, Ye Baat Ho Na Ho (I have been given today, this time by destiny. To your hearts content see me closely, who knows, if your destiny, may present this situation again.)

Six months later, Bucky came out of the cryo and on his request, was given a small hut away from the palace in the fields. You often saw him, with his tiny herd of goats. You remember how one tiny goat - which Bucky had endearingly called Steve -  was the one who caused you to talk to Bucky. Maybe that's why he was still your favourite goat, afterall he was responsible for giving you the love of your life.

Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho

Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho (Maybe, in this life, we may or may not meet again. Embrace me dear for this beautiful night may not come again)

Your phone rang suddenly. Bucky moved his head from your lap as you moved to get the phone, it was your brother who was calling you. It puzzled you, it was nearly midnight in India. "Y/N….jaldi aaja yaha… ma aur papa ki car crash ho gayi...I am so sorry, hum unhe bacha nahi paye." You went numb...The words didn’t make sense, you couldn’t make sense of them... Ma papa? No, no this can't be happening. You...you just talked to your mom a few hours ago! Bucky’s arms wrapped around you, holding you so close. He whispered some words into your ear trying to soothe you. But you couldn’t hear them, your mind just kept repeating your brother’s words inside your head like a mantra. That’s when the tears fell, soaking Bucky’s shirt. You didn’t remember you screamed. 

Paas Aaiye Ki Ham Nahin Aaenge Baar-Baar

Baahen Gale Men Daal Ke Ham Ro Le Zaar-Zaar

Aankhon Se Phir Ye Pyaar Ki Barsaat Ho Na Ho (Come closer to me, as I will not be able to come to you every time. Put your arms around me and let us cry our hearts out. Who knows, if our eyes will ever see these tears of love again.)

You couldn’t imagine what you would be without Bucky, your Bucky. He was your rock, You couldn't live a day without him. From the day you confessed your love for each other till today, not a day has gone where he wasn't showering you with love. Even through all his trauma and pain, he did his absolute best to be there for you, his sweet, sweet Y/N.

Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho

Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hassin Raat Ho Na Ho

Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho

Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hassin Raat Ho Na Ho (Maybe, in this life, we may or may not meet again. Embrace me dear for this beautiful night may not come again)

Remembering the past left you in an emotional mess, you didn't even realise when the waterworks started.

"Chaand? Hey, no shhh why are you crying? Is everything okay? Talk to me."

"Bucky?"

"Haan chaand?"

"Promise me that you will never leave me." You uttered in a broken whisper

"I promise."

He broke that promise. Bucky Barnes broke his promise and left his chaand. It happened so fast, the Avengers fighting Thanos, and suddenly everyone turning into dust.

You felt helpless and scared, numb and cold. what was happening? Bucky had told you to not come out of the palace unless told. He didn't want you to be in harm's way. No, his Y/N was too precious, he can't risk it. You reluctantly agreed, but you weren't of much use on the battlefield anyway. You just hoped your love would return to you very soon.

Steve broke the news, and your whole world collapsed in front of your eyes.

"Steve, no..no it can't be... please tell me you are lying. This isn't the time to joke around! Where is he!?" you couldn't help but scream at him. All your dreams, hopes and future with Bucky shattered. He was gone, in just a snap.  It couldn’t be real, this was a sick joke. that had to be it. A sick joke…

But deep inside, you knew it was real. All of it was real. The world around you seemed to crumble, all of it came down, it was as if someone let a glass cup fall and it shattered in a million pieces. Unable to be put back together again…

Now you had no one, no mom and dad, no Bucky...He was your rock wasn't he? He wasn't supposed to go...

After a few days, Steve offered to take you to America with him. The least he could do for his pal was to make sure the girl who had his heart was taken care of. But you couldn't go, it was too painful. Brooklyn will always remind you of Bucky, and you promised him when the time came to go back to his home, you will go together. No, unlike him Y/N L/N knew how to keep her promise.

You went back to India, to start a new life. A miserable one. If only you would have known that the last song you’ve sung to him would come true. 

You never sang your mother's favourite song again

Tagging - @spiderrpcrker @a-dragon-under-the-stars @lil-stark @jacquessouvenier @soradragon (I hope you won't mind me tagging you!) And I also hope you liked it :))

Translations (please let me know if I forgot to translate something) -

Chaand - Moon (an affectionate term in this context)

Acha - Really (in this context, it can mean many things otherwise)

"Y/N….jaldi aaja yaha… ma aur papa ki car crash ho gayi...I am so sorry, hum unhe bacha nahi paye." - "Y/N please come fast here, mom and dad were in an car crash, I am so sorry but we couldn't save them" (ma = mom, papa = dad)

Haan - yes

[gr0vndz3ro]

Ghost of You

Bakugou x reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of character death

Word count: 2,798

Crossed off: Dancing in the Kitchen

Tag list: @sadistiks @unbreakableeiji @fanfic-me-up @gallickingun @keigod​

A/N: I may or may not have cried writing this that is besides the point. I want bakugou forehead kisses ): but I hope that you guys enjoy this piece I did for the @bnhabookclub​ bingo event! Also may have loosely based this off the song Ghost of You by 5sos

You were always the more cheerful one of the two. Katsuki knew this from the first time he met you and was one of things he loved you for. The way you were able to light up a room with just the sound of your voice, and how you were the only one who could cheer him up after a long day at work.

He treasured how you always found a way to put him first in everything you did. Waking up with him to join him for a cup of coffee before he left for work. Making sure that his plate of food was always warm when he got home. Massaging his shoulders and arms as you two cuddle on the couch watching movies. Over the 6 years you had been together he still managed to find new ways to love you. 

It was in the way your eyes lit up when your favorite song came on the radio. In the way you laughed at all of his little snide remarks that he never meant. How your hand fit perfectly into his, as if your hand had been sculpted to fit perfectly into his own. Even in your little snores that fell from your lips when ever you were extremely tired. He fell in love with how clingy you got whenever you got sick, wanting nothing more then for him to play with your hair till you fell asleep.

But his favorite thing that he grew to love the most was something he only discovered after you moved in together. He had only managed to find out by accident as it was your little secret. He had never meant to find out, but when he had came home early from work, flowers in hand, to find the music blasting and you dancing your heart out in the middle of your kitchen, he found himself absolutely smitten. That was the day he knew he wanted to marry you.

Seeing you throw yourself haphazardly around the room in a vague attempt at dancing, he couldn’t stop the smile that took over him as he watched. Hair going everywhere, hips swaying and feet stomping. To anyone else they would have thought you had went insane, if he wasn’t dating you, Katsuki would have thought the same. But seeing you absolutely carefree as your favorite artist blasts through the speaker on the table made him feel so much love for you. He couldn’t explain it, but he feel the need to either. He never confronted you about your kitchen concert. You probably didn’t want him to know and he never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, so that day he left the house and waited outside of the door until he heard the song finish and made sure you could hear him when he came in.

He found himself coming home more and more in any attempt to see you doing your little dances. On his lunch break he would stop by the house and lean on the front door to see if could hear the light thumping of your many songs blasting throughout your shared home. Whenever he heard it he couldn’t help but sneak inside and watch the show you put on for absolutely no one. Today was no different from any other. It was his lunch break and he made his way to the door, hearing the soundtrack blast through the speakers, he quietly slipped in through the door. He made sure to close the door behind him as softly as he could before tip toeing through the house to where he knew he would find you dancing like your life depended on it. But when he turned the corner and you weren’t there he became confused. She always dances in the kitchen, where could she- his thoughts were cut off by the sound of you clearing your throat behind him, freezing him in place. Turning around, he sees you standing behind him with your arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

“Heyyy babe, I wanted to surprise you and spend lunch together.” He tried playing it off while walking over to where you were, wrapping his arms around you in a warm embrace. Your arms find their way around his torso as you feel him dip down to kiss your forehead.

“Oh is that so.. is that why you’ve been stopping by all week?” His breath hitches in his throat. He had been caught like a deer in head lights. 

“Wait, I-I can explain it’s not like I was-” 

“Come dance with me Katsu” A smile covering your face as you grab your boyfriend's hand and drag him into the kitchen. You let go of your hold and throw your hands up into the air as the beat drops in the song that was filling the room. He stood there in a state of confusion and awe as he watched you fling your arms all around.

“I don’t know how.. to do.... that” He looked down to the ground, a slight tint of pink covering his face in embarrassment. 

“Nonsense. You don't need to know how to dance to dance, just move how ever the music makes you feel. Here” You take his hands in your own and sway them back and forth to the beat of the music. After a few minutes and a lot of convincing him to stay, you both stood in the middle of the kitchen, holding each other in your arms, swaying to the soft song that played in the back ground. You pulled yourself away from him slightly to look him in the eyes, the soft smile that finds it’s way to your lips unknown to you. “Look at you, your dancing.” He can’t help but suck his teeth at you and turn his head, but he knew in his heart he was just as happy.

The only time he ever danced infront of anyone besides you was at your wedding after you dragged him to the middle of the floor. All of your friends surround the two of you but his focus was only on you. You had looked stunning that night. Not that he didn’t think you looked stunning everyday. It was just the fact that you were finally his, and only his forever. Through everything you had to put up with, you still came back to him, time and time again, your love for him never faltering. You were his rock and his person. Over the years you spent together he learned that it was okay to open up to you and that you wouldn’t think he was weak when he felt venerable. You meant so much to him he couldn’t begin to put into words, so he had felt no hesitation when your pretty little hands dragged him out of his chair to the middle of the dance floor to dance to the same song you had taught him to so long ago.

As you swayed in the middle of the floor your high school friends watched in shock at how calm their once hot headed friend now was in your arms. They smiled at how perfect the two of you were together and how you managed to bring out the softer, nicer side of Katsuki. They’d never say it to him in person in fear of an explosion to the face, but it was nice to see that he found someone to trust enough to feel completely at peace around. 

Things in your life seemed to always go smoothly. Sure he’d start fights every once in a while but you’d roll your eyes and ask him what was really bothering him, and after some time he’d finally confess about what plagued his mind. Any problems the two of you faced, you faced together. Some times the missions he went on haunted him at night. He would toss and turn through out the night and you would wake up and pull him close to you. Running your hands through his hair as you speak soothing words to him. But you never brought up the sleepless nights to him, he would talk to you about it when he was ready, he always did. So for the mean while, you would just do your best to lull him back to sleep and comfort him through the night. He would never tell you but he was always awake as you whispered sweet nothings to him, the way you tell him you love him still making his heart flutter like it did the first time you had said it to him back in high school.

But the time he needed your comfort the most, you hadn’t been there. It wasn’t your fault. It was the monster of a man who you had bumped into on your way to the grocery store. It seemed like it was just yesterday. 

The two of you were sitting in the living room when you had got up to go to the kitchen to grab a snack for the both of you. When you got to the fridge you opened it, looking around to find something but failing miserably. You went to the pantry and searched the cupboards but when you weren’t able to find anything you let out a sigh before heading back to the living room.

“Hey Katsu we’re out of snacks so I’m just going to head to the store really quick and grab us some stuff.” You started heading toward the front door but was stopped by his hand on your wrist.

“Here wait and I’ll go with you. Let me just go put on some clothes.” He turned to go to bedroom but it was your turn to grab his wrist. A look of confusion on his face as he turned around to meet your gaze.

“No don’t worry about it, you had a long day at work go relax.” You smile at him trying to convince him to try to rest and enjoy the evening.

“It’ll only take me like 5 minutes, Hell I’ll go without the shirt it’s fine” He goes to put on his shoes, completely shirtless, yet still willing to go dressed in what little he was in to join you to the small trip.

“Baby, I mean it. You’ve had a really rough few days, please go sit down and try to relax. I wont be gone for more than 20 minutes tops. You can go take your shower and then by the time you’re done I’ll be back. Sound like a plan?” Holding his hands in your own you look him in the eyes hoping you’d be able to convince your husband to slow down and take a breather. He paused before letting out a sigh and grabbing your face in between his hands.

“I’m not going to win this am I?” You shook your head and he let out a sigh giving up. “Alright but don’t take to long okay, oh and make sure you get those one chips. The spicy ones I like, you know what they’re called.” You let out a giggle at the small request.

“Of course. I love you” You lean forward and give him a quick kiss before grabbing your keys and heading out the door. The door clicks behind you as you leave to the store.

“I love you too” He says to a now empty room before making his way back to the couch. He’d soon regret not saying those words to your face before you left, and would regret not forcing himself to join you even more. Because maybe if he had been just a little bit more stubborn you would have been able to join him for the rest of that movie that he has still yet to finish.

It had been a year.

A year.

Katsuki walk into the apartment after a long day at work placing his keys and wallet in the bowl next to the door. He had called out into the house like he used too out of habit but it wasn’t the same. There wasn’t any response to his call. He honestly hated coming home because it didn’t feel warm like it used to. It was to quiet here. He walked into the kitchen and glanced at the calendar, before realizing the date and his breath caught in his throat. How had he forgot. He turned out of the room and grabbed his keys and left.

As he drove around in his car, he found himself stopping at the store. It was the same one. The same one you were supposed to go to before he had gotten the call. Thinking back he remember the feeling of how his heart broke. He always thought that people exaggerated when they said that but he finally understood. But god he wished he didn’t. He wished he could return to the time when he was oblivious to how it felt to have a gapping hole where he once felt happiness. Back to when picture of your smile would make his heart fill with joy instead of making his eye fill with tears.

He pulled over the car and stood in front of the store. He hadn’t came back here since the incident, but he thought that it was only fitting that he had today. After all this was were the two of you had first met. Granted you had class together, Katsuki being who we was, never noticed you were in the class until you had physically bumped into each other. He yelled at you for making him spill the chips he had just bought and you just returned his anger with your famous smile, apologizing and buying him 2 more as an offering of peace. After that day you found a way bothered him everyday, mostly bringing him snacks. Some of which you knew he would like, some that you liked and sometimes brand new ones that you wanted to try with him. You quickly stole the blond’s heart, but for some reason he was completely fine with it.

So here he stood. In front of the store you both deemed as your store. It wasn’t a big store, it was family owned, a nice elderly couple ran it. They teased the two of you for being a couple long before the thought of even dating had crossed either of your minds. You had grown fond of them and had even invited them to your wedding saying that if it wasn’t for them you guys wouldn’t have been together. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door, the bell ringing throughout the shop. 

“Good evening, welcome to- Bakugou?” The elderly woman stops dead in her tracks at the sight of the young man. She almost doesn’t speak again, a sad smile on her lips as she walks over to him. “What brings you to the store? I haven’t seen you since.. well in a while.”

“I needed to get some flowers if that's alright.” His eyes glued to the floor, unable to hold eye contact. He wouldn't let anyone see him this vulnerable. With a small sigh she places a hand on his shoulder and gestures over to where the bouquets where at. He raised his head and his eyes fell on one in particular. With slow steps he reaches his hand out taking a hold of the bundle before bringing it to his nose and inhaling the sent. They smelled like her. “These are... these were her favorite.” He pauses looking at the perfectly arranged flowers, a small tear managing to fall from his cheek, hitting one of the petals.

“It’s on the house. Be sure to tell her I said hi.” The woman makes her way toward the back of the store, looking back at him before disappearing “And don't be a stranger alright?” He nods before thanking her and heading out of the store and taking off in his car again.

After driving for what seemed like hours he finally makes it to his destination. Parking the car, he steps out. He walks down the gravel path and all he can think of is that you shouldn’t be here. This place was so cold and bland. It was nothing like you. You deserved to be somewhere so full of life it was that it was almost suffocating. You deserved to there with him. But when he arrived at the spot he had travel here for, he bent down and sat on his knees. He placed the flowers at the edge of your stone and wiped the tears off his face that had some how managed to sneak out. Taking a deep breath he spoke.

“Happy anniversary my little ballerina.”

[cozy-the-overlord]

Dances and Daggers

Summary: The Summer Festival is upon Asgard, as is the tradition of the dagger ceremony, where each unmarried gentleman chooses a lady to bestow with the honor of carrying his dagger for the night. As Prince Thor’s betrothed, Teki’s only goal is to accept his dagger with grace and hope that her violent stepfather doesn’t find fault with her in the process. But Prince Thor is unpredictable, and when he ignores his engagement on a whim Teki finds herself in a desperate situation. Luckily, Thor isn’t the only prince in Asgard…

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Chapter 18: The End

Previous Chapter  |  

Word Count: 1,793

A/N: Oh my goodness, we're here. We're at the last chapter. I can't believe it. Thank you all so much for reading and liking and commenting-- you've all made the last seventeen weeks absolutely wonderful, and I'm so grateful :)

TW: Mentions of violence, child abuse, description of a dead body

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae @moumouton4 @berriemalfoy @whatafuckingdumbass @sophlubbwriting

if you want to be tagged, feel free to just send me an ask/message! :)

Read it on Ao3!

The Winter Festival was in full swing. Teki surveyed the crowd from her place on the royal platform. She still wasn’t entirely comfortable sitting so high above everyone else, but the spot wasn’t anywhere near as unnerving as she had first found it. Besides her, Brant munched contentedly on the meat she had chopped into tiny pieces for him. In the beginning, he had been so frightened of sitting atop the podium that he was afraid to even ask her to cut his food, but after several months he had grown quite at ease with the whole thing.

“Teki!” he’d whisper excitedly, pulling on her sleeve. ”You can see everyone in the hall from here!”

She couldn’t help but grin.

On her other side, Loki grasped her hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

Teki returned his eager smile. “Of course!”

People parted for them as he led her through the crowd, the skirt of her emerald dress billowing around her legs, a silky cloud of green. Loki’s dagger hung at her hip. She had been wearing it every night as of late. It brought a strange sort of tranquility to feel it at her side, something that she hadn’t thought was every possible. It had been hard to look at it at first, to hold it in her hands and know that it had allowed her to take a life. Osvald’s blank stare haunted her whenever she closed her eyes.

But … there was something powerful in it as well, something she couldn’t quite explain. For so long, she had been this helpless little girl who kept her head down and hands clasped in her lap, whose only defense had ever been to close her eyes and hope for the danger to pass, but now … she wasn’t. Everyone knew about her now, not as the fiancé to a prince who held no interest in her, but as a survivor who vanquished the monster who murdered her father. It was an odd feeling. Teki had never expected to command respect of any kind from her fellow Asgardians—even with a future as queen she had always known that she’d exist only in Thor’s shadow—but now, people bowed their heads when she passed.

Loki pulled her on to the dance floor with a twirl, grinning as her dress fanned out around her. Teki giggled.

“Remember the first time you asked me to dance?” she asked suddenly. It seemed eons ago that he had first found her crying on the balcony, and yet somehow it had only been less than a year.

The prince nodded. “I was so nervous,” he confided as he held her closer to him.

Teki laughed incredulously. “You were nervous!”

“I was!” he insisted. “You seemed so sad. I wanted to make you feel better, but I was afraid I was only making things worse.” He paused. “And you were meant for Thor, so I wasn’t certain I’d even be welcome.”

She sighed. That seemed eons ago too—a time where Loki didn’t know her better than she knew herself.

“Well,” she mumbled, cheeks burning. “You’re always welcome.”

He laughed. “Good to know.”

Teki laughed as well, but she hoped he knew how true her words were. She didn’t know what she would have done without Loki these past few months. He had been by her side throughout all the insanity that had followed her mother’s arrest and her stepfather’s demise, whether it was something as grand as testifying before the court that Osvald was killed in self-defense or as simple as sitting next to her at her piano as she played the first few lines of the piece she was composing herself.

He had been with her when she received word that they had found what they believed to be her father’s skeletal remains. Her mother’s confession had included the details of where and how Steinn’s body had been disposed of, down to the gory details that Teki had never wanted to know, how they dismembered him so Osvald could sneak him off world in a rugsack and bury him on Alfheim. Teki’s only attempt to read through the whole thing had ended with her coughing up her breakfast into a chamber pot.

But thanks to Áslaug’s description, they knew where to look, and within a fortnight they found him. Peeling back that blanket to look at her father’s remains had been an experience she couldn’t quite describe. The two felt so disconnected—how could a man so larger than life who she could picture so clearly in her memory be reduced to nothing but a box of dusty bones? For several hours, all she felt was numbness. It wasn’t until late that night that the reality truly struck her. Brant stumbled into her room to find hunched over on her bed, sobbing ferociously into her pillowcase.

They held a funeral for him. It was nothing elaborate, there wasn’t a big production or a huge crowd in attendance, but it was something. Teki didn’t know the next thing about archery, so instead of shooting a flaming arrow, she lit his pyre with a torch before sending it across the water. They probably could’ve gotten a professional archer for it—Loki had offered to shoot it himself—but it had to be her. Teki couldn’t explain it, but it had to be her.

She sighed as her father drifted across the waterfall, across the threshold beyond. It was as if an invisible weight she had carried with her since she was small had floated away as well. He could rest easy now, high in Valhalla. Perhaps she could too.

But there was one thing stopping her from embracing that peace.

Teki followed the guard down through the catacombs of ancient stone, head low. It seemed colder down here, far below the palace. At least, she told herself that’s why she was shivering.

Behind translucent shields of glowing light, prisoners loomed at her as they passed. Teki kept her eyes straight ahead. Based on their biting leers, she got the feeling that they didn’t see a lot of visitors around here.

Her mother sat on the cot in the corner of her cell, picking at her nails. For a moment, Teki almost didn’t recognize her. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, her dress plain and shapeless. She couldn’t recall the last time she had seen her mother without her face painted.

Her eyes had lit up when she noticed Teki lingering on the other side of the ray shield.

“Tekla!” she smiled, her voice hoarse. “I hoped you’d come to see me!”

She wasn’t lying. Áslaug had been sending messages to her daughter through the guards nearly every day since she had been arrested, begging her to pay her a visit.

“You realize you don’t have to do it, right?” Loki had asked her. “You’re not beholden to that woman in any way. If you never want to see her again, you don’t have to.”

Teki knew that. And a part of her would be perfectly content to live out her life without her mother ever being in it. But there was another part that wanted to know what Áslaug could possibly have to say to her.

At first, it didn’t seem like much. “How’s Brant?” she asked after a moment of awkward silence.

“He’s well.” Teki’s voice was stiff. When she first decided to visit her mother, she had told herself she’d be polite. But now, looking at her sitting there pretending as if she had ever given a damn about either of her children, Teki decided she’d settle for civil.

Still, her mother continued on in her bubbly, fake happy voice. “Lovely dress.” She gestured to her emerald gown. “So it’s true then? You’re marrying the other one?”

Teki nodded.

Áslaug breathed a chuckle, shaking her head. “All of that, and you’re not even going to be queen.” She let out a sigh. “I suppose the Norns need a good laugh every now and then.”

“I don’t see anything to laugh about.”

“No, you wouldn’t. Look, I know you hate me,” she paused, as if waiting for Teki to contradict her. Teki only stared ahead in stony silence. She huffed. “I want you to understand, everything I did, I did for you.”

Teki raised her eyebrows. “You killed my father for me?”

“I had to!” Her mother sprung to her feet, leaning as close to the shield as she could without touching it. “Tekla, he didn’t care about your future! We had the chance to make you the most powerful woman in the Nine Realms, and he wanted to let it pass by. Would you be able to forgive me if I hadn’t taken that opportunity?”

“It would have been easier than forgiving you for murdering my father.”

She huffed. “Tekla—”

“What about Osvald?” Teki interrupted. “Did you marry him for me too?”

Her mother sighed. “I didn’t realize what he was like. Had I known—”

“You knew damn well what he was like,” she snapped. “He was willing to kill—”

“For me!” Áslaug pressed her hands to her chest. “He was willing to kill for me. That’s hardly something a woman should pass up.”

“No.” Teki inhaled. Her mother seemed so desperate to convince her, to convince herself that she believed what she was saying. She almost pitied her. “He was willing to kill for what you could give him. He loved you as much as you loved my father.”

Her mother frowned at her. “You’re angry with me now,” she said. “But one day you’ll understand. You’ll wake up and realize that everything you have today, everything you are today, is because of me.”

“You’re wrong,” Teki retorted. “I am what I am today in spite of you, not because.” She let out a shaky breath, motioning towards the guard that she was ready to leave. She met her mother’s glare with a firm stare of her own.

“Goodbye, Mama.” There was nothing else left to say.

The song was changing, morphing from the upbeat strings to the more somber piano solo.

Loki pulled her closer. “Do you want to go to the lake?” he whispered in her ear.

She laughed, cocking her head. “Are you going to push me in?”

“Of course not! Believe me, I learned my lesson with that one.”

“Uh-huh.” Brant was waving at her from the podium. She waved back with a grin. Loki stood beside her, eyebrows raised expectantly. Teki grabbed his hand. “Well, what are you waiting for, my prince? Lead the way!”

This is it, she realized as they scurried through the hallways, giggling like a pair of toddlers.

This is what happiness feels like.

[elias-veturius-laia-of-serra]

A Sky Beyond The Storm: SPOILERY Review

*!!BEWARE!! A Sky Beyond The Storm Spoilers below. And it’s not just a little of them. It is FULL BLOWN COMPLETE SPOILERS! SO BEWARE! DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN’T READ A SKY BEYOND THE STORM!*

[CAUTION] This is all my opinion so please don’t leave anything negative. Or send hate or think this is a welcome post to start arguing. I’m only posting this cause sadly my friends have not finished the book yet and it’s been five days since I’ve finished and I have yet to be able to explore how I fully feel about the book. Thankfully writing this tired me out and completely reflected everything I feel! It was the perfect outlet! I also wrote it all in one go just pouring all my emotions out so if the grammar is bad or some things don’t make sense. I’m sorry! I’ll be sure to edit this at some point ❤️

------------------------------------------------------------

Wow.

Five years. I had stuck to this series for five years and it’s always given me love, heartache, pain, loss, but most importantly hope. 

I want to start off by talking about how happy I was with how Laia’s arc was handled. Usually when you have a “weak” and frightened protagonist their growth is mainly focused on how quick they can shed that image and because something else entirely. How they can become an ultra badass that is able to hack and slice through their enemies and become this killer warrior machine, but Laia Of Serra is not a killer. And that’s been reiterated throughout the books. She feels too much, cares too much, and loves too much. She mourns the for any lives lost even if it is the enemy. She hates taking lives cause she sees no reason to take one even if it is for the greater good. As shown in Torch and Sky, She cries after she accidentally that man. She’s wrecked with guilt when she accidentally kills that jinn. At the people who fall during this war. Laia Of Serra isn’t a killer. She’s hope. She’s love. She’s understanding. And many people do see that as weakness but I love that Laia is able to harness these emotions that make her human as use it as strength. That at the end of the day she isn’t a badass savage girl who lost everything and is out for blood. She’s still just Laia and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Being a big emotional scaredy cat I am I’ve never been able to relate to the big badass skilled warriors that can take down armies of men. I wish to be like them but the reality is I’m not. So I never thought I could see myself being a hero or doing any good if the time for me to be one ever came, but Laia really conveys that strength is more than just being able to shed blood and kill people. That it’s okay to cry, to be scared, to feel sad, and be insecure. Brown girls are always so used to being silenced and taught to behave in order to survive. That’s been our story for a long time but Laia was able to turn our meekness, our fragility, our fear, and our insecurities into something strong. Into something that moves her forward, that taught her how to fight, and that  ultimately makes her victorious. The Her final scene with the Nightbringer was beautiful and utterly heartbreaking.

Which brings me to the Nightbringer.  I used to hate him so much unable to understand him. I found his anger equivalent to that of an edgy teen that got told “No” too many times. But despite his cruelty book 4 really opened my eyes. Despite all the deaths and rage Sabaa has managed to also convey all his loneliness, his sadness, his hopelessness, his loss, and how all this pain had driven him to believe this was the only way he’d be able to be at peace. To get rid of the world that had been so cold to him. To get rid of a world that made him feel unaccepted and had taken away everything that mattered to him until all he had left was the broken pieces of himself with no one there to help him pick them up. I loved the Nightbringer here. I learned to respect him so much. He’s carried so much pain and loneliness for thousands of years in hopes to gain back what he has lost. I was finally able to sympathize with him and much like Laia - I didn’t hate him anymore. Couldn’t hate him. Of course what he did was wrong but it’s hard to wish more unfortunate things upon someone whose whole life has been nothing but misfortune. I loved his story with Rehmat. Their love though mentioned briefly was a beautiful thing and I found I wanted nothing more than him to be able to be with her again and to be able to feel that love again. I used to cringe and loathe the idea of Nightbringer and Laia being romantic but this book opened my eyes into seeing that that isn’t it at all. I mean yes he is in love with her but that’s just the kind of person he is. He loves. He’s the beloved. He has many loves. As his queen once said, he loves too much. So it isn’t about sparkly forbidden romance. It’s the fact that Meherya had love for all things and to be betrayed because of it had hardened his heart. Laia knows what this feels like. So to see her hold him and tell him it’s okay. That his feelings are valid and the world turned it’s back on him first, but he can’t blame all life for that. That she knows deep within him he still loves, he still hopes, and he must hold onto that. Skies, nearly made me cry. Then by the end when he is able to tell her goodbye with a hand to her cheek and she knows despite everything he still loves her - I nearly started bawling. Because he truly is the beloved and he did not deserve all those who took his love then basically spat in his face. I was happy to finally see him be able to reunite with Rehmat. His one true love and his only queen. Cause I know through her and finally leaving this world - he will be able to finally be at peace.

Now onto the next character. Elias. WHEEEEW! He was as cold as Sabaa promised. So distant and stoic. Reading about him through Laia’s P.O.V. was so heartbreaking. Yet reading through his was ALMOST worse. Where as Laia can’t find her Elias we are able to see little cracks of it. He still looks at her for too long. Lingers at the thought of her for too long. His heart beats faster when she is around when it shouldn’t. He remembers things he shouldn’t. Being around her is too hard because she is everything he had originally fought for. Inner Elias still sees her as his home and his freedom. However his cold demeanor was nearly too much for me! I even almost contemplated unstanning my favorite OTP in the world when he left her to the jinn. Though I think a lot of that mainly has to do with the fact cause we see how much he loves her. He’s risked so much for her so to see him abandon her was like a slap in the face and truly showed how much he has changed, but thankfully there was hundreds of pages left for him to make up for it. And of course in an Elias fashion he did. When the nightbringer had her captive he couldn’t get himself to leave her again. When he saw Laia scratched up after falling into a river and his thoughts immediately thought of ways to defeat this river (I cackled). When he told her he wouldn’t be able to help if she were to get in trouble trying to steal the Nightbringer’s scythe and yet he came in seconds the moment she called to him cause nothing else mattered as soon as he heard her voice. When Elias realized Mauth had completely weakened his first reaction was to run to Laia and while she had been frozen haunted by realizing what she had done it was Elias who ran in front of the storm to get her away from it and nearly sacrificing his life in order to keep her safe. I mean HOW CAN I NOT FORGIVE HIM AFTER ALL THAT!? I couldn’t stop the emotions running through when he was able to finally meet his father. When he was able to see the life he could’ve had if war and pain hadn’t tainted it. Then his final strive to live. Him fully coming back as Elias Veturius and chanting Always Victorious to come back to the world of the living. It was everything! Elias has been a death magnet throughout this series. His whole has made his hands drenched in blood and making him live a life so dirty that he believes at many moments is a life that isn’t worth living anymore. That he’s too damaged. Too callous. Too tainted to be considered worthy of anything, but in the end when the time came he pushed to life. He fought to be more than his mistakes. To be more than a symbol of death. He chose to live. 

I will continue with the characters but here’s a short break to speak about my most prized possession: Elaia. So I already explained a good chunk in Elias’s snippet, but we ALL know they need their own portion for one to get their feelings out more clearly. Elias and Laia’s love as usual isn’t easy and broke me time and time again. One minute my heart flutters and I’m on the edge of my seat in hope and then the next it’s like I get a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. Their relationship was especially rough in the beginning. Elias pulled away consistently and though watching Laia try her hardest to break through was admirable it hurt all the more every time it failed. Yet even through all the hurt my heart still fluttered. The way she purposely said things, or did certain things, in order to get a rise out of him was such a delight to watch. Elias and his rocks ended with both Laia and I sad but I still can’t help how wholesome it felt to see them banter. Laia sitting on the boulder in the middle of his “workout”, him casually hoisting her over his shoulder, putting her down, and just to have her spring back up and follow him to continue the conversation. Who knew seeing two people talk about pets could get a giggle out of me. The last three hundred pages I’d say are the best. Cause this is when the Soul Catcher slowly begins to soften up. He lets himself care about Laia more. Lets himself get lost in her more. I had to put the book down after the mango scene just to catch my breath! I won’t lie and pretend I didn’t enjoy all the steamy scenes. I did and nearly fainted at every single one of them, but it was the soft moments between Soul Catcher and Laia that stood out the most. When she was sad and he’d hold her, the way he was so attached to the armlet that thought that he had lost it made him tear his cabin apart, when he went to find her to tell her to leave the waiting place but couldn’t help but stare at her instead, telling her he prefers being called Elias from her, still putting her first then then disguising it saying he is only doing it for his duty to the ghosts, and the way the old him springs up constantly whenever she’s around. Every little detail was a hit to the heart! Especially Laia telling Elias that he had no right to dictate her emotions. He has no right to tell her how to fell. She loves him and she finds him worthy of it and he cannot take that away. He can’t make her stop loving him. It was everything to see her always declaring how much she loved him seeing as she never got to at the end of Reaper. And now she won’t let him stop hearing it. Won’t let him not know it or forget it. Even their sex scene felt more than just steamy smut. It was so wholesome as they laughed together for the first time in a long time, the way he saw her as perfect, and by the end of it to have Laia speak about how she wanted everything with him forever. It made their ending all the more sweeter. I had made so many jokes before SKY about them finally being able to do it, about them practically being married, the wooden armlet being an engagement ring, and them being endgame and hoping that at least one of these would come true. Little did I know every single one would. Little did I know that the ending I have been hoping for but was 99% sure I’d never get was exactly what I’d get and more. Sabaa Tahir has truly spoiled me and I don’t deserve it but I will thank her a million times for it!

Next Character: Helene. Oh boy. Unpopular opinion but I had a strong dislike for Helene for a long time. I thank Sabaa for giving her a P.O.V. though. Cause without it all I and many others would see is colonizer and oppressor. Evil. Wrong. Wicked. I hated Helene in the first book. Tolerated her in the second. Found her likeable in the third. Then ultimately fell in love with her in the fourth. I found book 4 Helene to be the very best Helene she could be. Her finally letting her emotions break through is what ended up captivating me. Her scene as she slayed Karkauns all the while crying gave me chills in REAPER. THAT to me was strength . THAT was what reminded me as badass as Helene is she’s still human. She falters, she makes mistakes, she cries, she wins, she loses, and it isn’t power that ultimately drives her. For her too it is love. Love for family, love for friends, and love for her people. Her friendship with Laia made my heart bloom. I wish we could’ve had more of it! I also wish we could’ve seen it develop more but I also understand that this is the last book and I’d rather spend it seeing two queens getting along then bicker like they had been in the last three books. I loved watching them tease each other, them grin while talking about blasted men, Helene feeling like she can stand taller when Laia compliments her, and Laia ultimately being the first scholar to hail her as Empress. And all her fighting scenes!? BEST FIGHTING SCENES I’VE EVER READ! Helene is ruthless, she is brutal, she isn’t afraid to be stained in blood, and will defeat anyone in her way. I found myself so excited in my reread when I saw I was approaching those scenes. She is flawless in battle and I found myself completely entrapped by her. Slicing off heads, arms, and striding into every battle with her head held high. I was about ready to fight Harper to let her be with me instead! Her P.O.V.s had actually been my least favorite through book 2 and 3. Book 4 made me so happy that I got to go from chapter to chapter like: Oh yay! Laia! Oh yay Elias! Oh yay! Helene! I was able to be excited throughout the whole thing knowing each character was going to give me something good! Also I found her a lot funnier this time around! And Lord knows how I love my women bossy, sarcastic, and blunt.  I know a lot of people are angry about her ending. I was deeply saddened by it too. I used to think as a colonizer serves her right to lose everything! Why should I feel bad when she’s scoffed at the lives of the scholars and shrugged her shoulders at slavery for the longest time but of course that ended up biting me in the ass. I understand Sabaa’s reasoning. Helene has took for the longest time. So now it has come full circle for her to experience what that feels like for the other side. All those scholars who too lost a sister, brother, mother, father, and lover that she took away without a second glance when oppressing them. I loved that Sabaa protrays it in a way that before as someone who despised her, I can’t even be happy about it. Instead I am empty. Lost. Hurt. It shows all the more how useless war and vengeance is. We think more deaths and kills will make us feel better. It does not. Instead I found myself days later still haunted by what happened between her and Avitas. And now I wish nothing more but Helene to find happiness. To have more days laughing with Laia and reluctantly letting her braid her hair and dress her up. More teasing and reminiscing between her and her once best friend, Elias. And possibly something new and exciting and fulfilling with Musa. (Which I will touch on in it’s own paragraph haha)

Next: Avitas. Hmmm. Here’s the thing. I don’t hate Avitas. His moments with the shrike were meaningful and his presence is what ultimately led to breaking through her hard exterior. He taught Helene how to be just a girl again. How to feel without being weak. How love can be strength. I loved that he was able to bring out a more vulnerable side of her and show to her that it wasn’t a weakness. Every part of her is strong. Every part of her is beautiful. Every part of her he loves. That moment especially when she declares herself as broken and his eyes are wet with tears feeling for her. That he tells her being broken cannot stop her. It just makes her all the more of a force to reckon with. He was exactly what Helene needed in this time of war. Exactly what she needed to stay tethered to the world and faithful to herself. Sadly however I couldn’t get myself to connect with him. He was so reserved, so quiet, and so serious most of the time. It was hard to gather much from him. The little cracks of his demeanor whenever he was around Helene helped soften me. His fierce loyalty to her alone and understanding that a girl like her doesn’t need protection. She can very well take care of herself but it wasn’t about that. He just loved her too much to ever stop worrying. It ached something fierce within me. His death also haunted me for days and still does. Though I think it did hurt a little less cause I wasn’t attached to him. It was hard to considering how little I feel I still know about him and his thoughts and feelings. Plus his final scene with Elias at the waiting place brought me peace. He died for the person he loved and now he gets to reunite with his family. He wanted to leave and so he did. May Avitas Harper rest in peace and never be forgotten.

Next: Darin. His death ruined me. He was the sole purpose Laia went on this journey in the first place. He was the first person to always believe in her. He was the only family she (thought) she had left. He was one of Laia’s biggest fans and nothing else mattered more to him than her. He based so much of his life pushing Laia forward and encouraging her and getting her to laugh again even during the darkest of times. The way he pinched her cheeks before bidding her goodbye, the way he went back to find Laia and fight beside her, the way he teased her about Elias making the both of us laugh, and how even in his final moments before crossing over he wanted to know how his sister was doing. If she had won. Then being able to pass in peace proudly when he found out that she had. And his final words telling Elias that if there’s one person who can make up for all the love she’s lost it’s him. He will be missed greatly. So much so!

Next: Faris. Faris has been here since the beginning His last scene with the shrike also ruined me. I had to put the book down cause I was so hurt. Faris was a giant teddy bear always spewing jokes and being a clueless but brave boy. To see him go down like that though admirable still broke me nonetheless. Especially despite knowing a lot about them I loved him and Dex very much! I also thought maybe him and Livia could have their own happy ending, but I hoped too hard ):

Next: Livia. I bet you can guess this hurt very much as well. I loved Livia so much. She was such a powerful girl thrust into this world of politics and tyrants and held her own. My love first ignited in Reaper and only shined brighter in SKY. My jaw dropped and once again the book went down when Keris killed her. I was so broken. She was so full of life, witty, brave, sweet, and just as fierce as her sister. I wished she could’ve stayed!

Next: Musa. My FAVORITE secondary character in the whole series. Words cannot describe how much I love Musa and it saddens me to see that he is so underrated. Though I’m happy that even Sabaa says that he is one of her favorites! Musa was a light in every dark moment. I’m always a sap for handsome snarky sarcastic comedic relief characters with a tragic past. I loved that he was the one to always joke first despite how much he hurts. That he was the one always encouraging those around him to fight for love even though he lost his. I loved that he called Laia little sister and how his mere presence around her could make Elias go feral. Surprisingly most of all I loved his relationship with Helene.

Now here is yet another break from character talk to talk about another pair. Musa and Helene. I know it’s wrong. Helene had just lost Avitas and they are two broken people right now. But like said just for a moment, together, they make a whole. I never even thought of a possibility between the two. It felt so random. Awkward even. Though upon my reread I can see the little hints. Musa and Helene practically spend most of the book at each other’s side. They fight together, they encourage each other, they argue, and they see each other. Two people always putting on a brave face no matter how much they hurt. I was surprised to feel myself smiling at their bickering. Helene tends to be an uptight stoic person but around Musa she can’t help but smile and laugh as easy as it is to breathe. The way she endearingly considers him pretty. Around Musa she can’t help but talk about her feelings and him to her. The way she held his hand when they found out about Nikla’s death and how even when Harper went to talk to him he still wouldn’t let go of her. And their final scene together at the end of SKY. SO MANY FEELS! I CAN’T HELP THE FLUTTER OF HOPE I FEEL! Their bickering even cuter! Their vulnerability to each other even more powerful! All the while still respecting their past loves and understanding they can still mourn and yet live and strive for more. Absolutely perfect! Seeing Helene not close herself up after yet again losing in love was such a beautiful thing to me. Her telling Musa she’d like it if he stayed and him obviously happy about it but feigning arrogance instead is so him it only makes me love him more. Makes me love them more. Makes me hope! This could just be Sabaa testing the waters but Helene does still owe him a favor and I hope to the skies above Sabaa will be giving us that tale soon!

Next Character: Keris. I loved how she was handled as well. Learning about her past explained so much and yet erased nothing. I loved being able to learn more about her. I loved being able to see all the suffering she went through that we didn’t know about that turned shaped her into the cruel person she is today. How some of her actions still can’t be fully understood cause Keris herself probably doesn’t understand it either. I love that we are able to see her point of view and understand het and yet it’s plainly obvious that Keris has made her grave. Now it’s time for her to lie in it. It’s such a painful yet satisfying thing to see her reunite with her mother’s ghost. To be confronted by all her misdoings as Karinna looks at her in hope and then disdain upon seeing all the blood on her hands. From then she is unable to see her as her daughter leaving Keris ultimately alone and to confront all the wrongs she had cause to get to where she is. I felt it more fitting that Mirra killed her. Marcus is the one who took the Bloodshrike’s family away from her so it is only fair that Helene got to kill him. While Keris is the one who tortured Cook and her family. Forced Mirra’s hand to kill her own family just so they won’t have to suffer under Keris anymore. So it felt right to me that Mirra finally got to have the last word. I also loved how Mirra was able to take away all of Keris’s pain until she was reduced to nothing but a girl again before she was tainted. Then ultimately passed on. I found this a incredibly satisfying end to her arc.

Lastly: Mirra. I LOVED that Mirra was able to come back. I LOVED that Sabaa wasn’t cruel enough to leave Laia alone. Since Helene had baby Zacharias. Elias has Quin. Laia would’ve had no one. And I loved that Elias and Helene teared up also happy to see that Laia still had one person left. I loved that cook admits to her faults and how broken she herself is. How vengeance took over her and led her astray. But there is no one she loves more in this world than Laia. That she will fight everything and anyone just to ensure Laia will have a place in this world. I also loved her sense of humor. Had me cackling when she demanded Mauth to come talk to her and when she casually calls Elias her son in law. I loved her teaming up with the Bloodshrike! I love the big reveal leading up to it. It was all just so perfect for me!

In conclusion: Do I have my criticisms? Yes. There are a few things I wish to change. I thought Keenan was mentioned too much in the beginning. I found their relationship especially in book 2 very unhealthy so to hear her mention it and him as something to miss made me quite uncomfortable. Though I suppose it’s also just the thought of missing an ally and a friend cause there was a time where she had no one but Keenan to rely on. I wish we could’ve had more Helene and Laia scenes! Seeing her smile in a long time because Elias and Laia had their happy ending did wonders to my soul! I wish we could’ve had more scenes of Elias, Laia, and Helene all working together. I wish we could’ve had more scenes of Elias and Laia fighting side by side. Especially since I’ve always wanted scenes of them fighting together. The ones we got in SKY were EVERYTHING! I just wish we could’ve had more of that instead of them walking in the forest and pages of him being cold to her. I wish Avitas and Elias could’ve bonded more. To see them two be so reserved and yet so happy to be able to meet was such a gift. And yet they only fully spoke in two scenes ): I wish Darin and Laia got to spend more time together. I wish Laia could’ve gotten more scenes with her scythe. Or that we could’ve gotten more scenes of Laia with her bow and arrows. However these are minor things and do not take away much from my overall feeling for this book. 

Which is I am in love with this book. It is my new favorite book of all time. Of any other book ever. I think it is the best book in the series and the fact that Sabaa is so proud of it and says it’s the best book she ever wrote. I can’t help but agree and give A Sky Beyond The Storms a sky full of stars. The ending is everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more. It makes saying goodbye hurt less knowing my faves are alive, happy, and have finally found a place to call home. I love that we end off on Elias and Laia getting engaged and walking off to get ready to start a new life together. I couldn’t of asked for a better ending. Sabaa really outdid herself and I hope she gets all the praise and all the awards for this divine book and her flawless story telling. Truly one of the best Kehannis out there ❤️

[capricorn-stark]

Late Night Rants: Tony Stark Edition

Tony Stark is haunted by his guilt.

Everything, and I mean literally everything after Iron Man 1 is literally fueled by his guilt and how it plagues him throughout his entire character arc. No matter what he does, no matter how many people he saves, it’s never, ever enough, and he knows it’s not. That’s literally what makes him want a suit of armor around the world and create Ultron. And then, the deaths caused by Ultron were what haunted him in Civil War, especially after this incident. 

Captain America: Civil War might literally be a Captain America movie, but the character who actually gets character development is Tony Stark. That entire movie is literally fueled by one thing, and that’s Tony’s guilt from his past actions, and we literally see that guilt from his very first scene in the movie. 

This scene talking about his therapeutic experiment, his grief, his loss, and his guilt. Guilt stemming from the fact that he didn’t tell his (ASSHOLE) father that he loved him before he died, guilt that he didn’t make his mother happy by compromising with his (ASSHOLE) father, guilt that he could never make his father proud of him.

Tony Stark’s guilt started stemming from way before he was even Iron Man, way before Afghanistan - but this movie kind of culminates all of that emotional turmoil, hurt, loss and everything else into this one gigantic breakdown that’s Civil War. The fact that he and Pepper aren’t together in this movie is another huge point - him talking to Steve about it being his fault that he put her in danger, how he destroyed the suits, how he signed the Sokovian Accords to “split the difference” - it all connects back to the guilt. 

Tony signs the Sokovian Accords because he wants to be free from that guilt. He knows it won’t just disappear, but he sees them as a way to get some relief. To feel like he actually tried to help. Tony’s guilty conscience is literally what drives him to sacrifice everything, to be a hero - and we really, really see that after the death of Peter Parker. 

 This is possibly one of the absolute most genuine moments between these two characters. 

Peter sees Tony as this invincible hero who literally represents pretty much everything he wants to be as a person. Tony sees Peter as someone else he’s responsible for, someone he has to protect because something terrible keeps happening to literally everyone this man has ever loved.

His parents, Pepper, Happy, Rhodey - everyone. At one point or another, they’ve been hurt bad, and he can’t let that happen to a kid he dragged into the mess of a big superhero gig. In his eyes, if anything happens to that boy, it’s completely his fault, and his worst fears become a reality in Infinity War when Peter’s taken from him in The Snap. 

The hurt. The grief. The pain. I could rant about just that scene alone for literally ever, the acting Tom Holland and RDJ do in this scene is so ridiculously good I literally just cannot, 10000/10 would sob all over again.

This is literally a breaking point for Tony. His worst nightmare came true and he lost the kid, he lost literally everyone he was on Titan with except Nebula, and he has no idea if anyone back home is alive or not. It was his idea to go to Titan and beat Thanos on his turf, it was him who dragged Peter into the superhero game during Civil War, it was him who failed.

That loss is completely on him to bear by himself. That is his biggest source of guilt by far. 

Tony gets five years with his family, five years when he finally married the woman he loves, has a child, and finally gets to live out a peaceful, happy life. But he can’t, because Peter’s on his conscience, and that’s the whole reason why he agrees to make that time machine, to save the world. 

He feels guilty about the whole world, he does - but he said he wanted a suit of armor around the whole world and that turned out to be one of the worst mistakes of his life. At one point, he realized that’s just not feasible - but protecting one person? Protecting just the people closest to him, who he loves?

He can finally do that and he chooses not to. 

Because Tony Stark has a guilt conscience and because Tony Stark’s a goddamn hero. And that man can’t rest until his conscience is cleared, and that’s what drives him to save the entire universe, even at cost of his life. 

He knows he can get back everything and everyone he loves, everything and everyone the world loves. 

He can’t rest until he knows he did everything in his power to save the entire goddamn world, and that means making the ultimate sacrifice. That means leaving everyone he loves behind, that means not being able to witness what he made all these sacrifices for, but he does it because that’s what he needs to do to clear his conscience.

He does it because he’s a hero. 

[blackevermore]

x Secrets of The Lake: The Company of Misery and Pain

{ Chapter 2 }

Summary: Vladimir Masters' family tree has always been tainted by secrets swept under the rug. From generation to generation there have been countless reasons the Masters' family had seemed to keep private from the public. Even to this day, Vladimir was no exception. But what was one to do when a restless spirit from the settlement years finally breaks free from restraints and demands you answer for your ancestor's crimes? Vladimir doesn't know. However, Clockworks does.

Notes: We just having fun, rewriting some of the canon, new adventure new characters. I will apologize now for any grammar, spelling, weird sentence structuring in advance. My brain writes faster than my fingers and even when I go back through to reread it I still miss things. Sorry about that!

Word Count: 3287

If Vlad could find a stronger word besides irritating...aggravating...ah- vexatious! The vexatious ticking around him was about to drive him up a wall the longer he waited for Clockwork to acknowledge him. When Vlad found the calling card he only had to wait until after his morning coffee for the time ghost to open a portal to his lair. Vlad didn’t feel the need to change himself as he strolled through the portal, but he wished he brought a chair if it meant waiting.

“So much time but not enough done,” Clockwork finally finished his business viewing another timeline. He turned and gave Vlad a polite smile as he nodded his head to greet the other. “I’m happy you chose to adhere to my calling, this is a rather important conversation.”

“I figured I had no choice considering anything that has to deal with you means danger.” Vlad said aloofly and Clockwork only chuckled, friendly-ish banter, but Vlad was serious. The last time he dealt with the time ghost timelines were doomed and certain baddies were wreaking havoc. Vlad couldn’t help but wonder about how Clockwork was keeping Dan. Or rather where, Clockworks lair was larger than it looked and every door led to another endless path of nowhere. Perfect for keeping people away from things they shouldn’t be doing or seeing.

“This danger is rather serious as the one before considering it’s linked to you.” Clockwork waved his hand to open another portal to the Ghost Zone. Images flashed by like a slide show showing different groups of habitats covering their ears in fear or trying to hide. Vlad held his breath, believing Clockwork was about to show him another doomed timeline. Vlad really didn’t wish to be sent off on a rescue mission again, one was all he could handle. But instead, the last image that flashed across the portal was of a female ghost standing in the middle of lake as ecto-energy shot off of her like lightning zapping the water but also the trees around her. Her body shifted in blurs from left to right as her mouth twisted into a horrid scream. Vlad nearly stumbled back in disbelief when he recognized that face as the girl from his nightmares.

“You’re speechless as if you’ve seen her before.” Clockwork turned towards Vlad with a raised brow.

“That’s the ghost that’s been haunting my dreams as of recently. I knew it had to be a ghost but what does she want with me? I don’t even know who she is.” Vlad said, annoyed and very confused.

“But you do,” Clockwork waved his hand once again across the portal and the image was now of the ghost alive weaving a basket by the water. She looked so different from the other image, happier, calm and relaxed, not at all in pain or screaming with anger. “Or a part of you that wishes to remain hidden does.”

“What does that mean?” Vlad bit his tongue from snapping at the time ghost for being vague. Clockwork always loved dragging things out and making both Vlad and Danny think before telling them anything. But right now, Vlad wasn’t in the mood, that ghost that has been haunting him has been confirmed and now Clockwork was saying he knew her. Vlad was keen on remembering faces, if not names, surely if he ever met someone like this dead or alive. 

“Vladimir, your past is catching up with you and causing trouble within the ghost zone. I’ve known about her since my creation, she was not as bad as she is now. A very sad ghost that normally kept quiet on her small island plot. But now she has found you-”

“Found me? What on Earth does that mean? I’ve never seen her before.” Vlad rudely interrupted and Clockwork sighed. Dealing with halfas was always a tricky thing but what was one to do when they’re the ones causing the problems.

“In this life you have never met her, you were born again as Vladimir Akimovich Masters. But in another life you were someone else, your great ancestor who settled in the new lands with only a servant in tow. For so long you were able to avoid what happened due to being born again and again, without stopping through the Ghost Zone. But it was this timeline that you finally found your way there, when you became a halfa you created the energy that dragged her from the depths of her sombre. You awakened her the moment you got stronger.”  Clockwork waved his staff around in the air and the room grew dark. They were no longer in the lair but at the island the ghost resided in. Vlad heard the sound of soft weeping come from behind him and when he slowly turned around he was standing inches away from the girl. She didn’t seem to notice him as she grumbled a few words and shook her head back and forth.

“Death has already found me,” she said. Vlad’s core almost froze when he heard those words so clearly. “Death has already taken me away.” The girl fell to her knees and clenched her chest. Vlad took a step back and looked over his shoulder to see if Clockwork was there but he wasn’t. Vlad was completely alone with this ghost even if he wasn’t actually there and that was unnerving. 

“Death...has finally… found you!” The girl’s head shot up with fiery green eyes stabbing Vlad right through the chest. Just like in the nightmares she gritted her teeth in anger then let out the same wail Vlad heard over and over again night after night. Vlad stumbled to the ground and covered his ears to soften the attack. The wail quickly faded away and Vlad shot his eyes open to see that he was back in Clockworks lair. The ghost looked very unpleased, worried even and tired.

“That is what the Ghost Zone has been hearing over and over in waves every hour. All because of you.”

“Because of me?!” Vlad yelled back, surely Clockwork had also seen the countless nights Vlad had been up and how tired throughout the day he was from this wretched ghost. If all this was to be true you can’t fault someone from the present for things that happen in the past. Vlad had no control over anything that happened or anyone that was already dead centuries before he was conceived. It was one thing to actually cause the trouble that was unfolding around him, but to be accused felt so disrespectful. Vlad was already on the road of trying to stray away from being known as just the villain of a finished story. He had made his peace with Danny, helped to even save the world from Dan, he released his control over his minions only to call upon them when needed. This was insulting and it only made Vlad angrier.

“You have no control over what has been done but you have the power now to fix it. If this isn't handled now while I give you the chance to do so then your future will be no longer. Besides, wouldn't you rather put a restless spirit to rest now rather than being stuck with them for eternity?” Clockwork chuckled when he saw Vlad’s eyes shoot open. There was no point in trying to argue with Clockwork, Vlad knew that, he was right about a lot of things and a lot of outcomes. Vlad lowered his head and took in a deep breath.

“And what pray tell do you expect me to do.” Vlad steeled himself as he waited for an answer.

“Aid the young Phantom in finding Tayonna before she finds you outside of the Ghost Zone. I cannot promise you talking will silence her soul but try to figure out how to put her to rest. Or at least get the screaming to stop. I can hear it all the way from here and it disturbs my work.” Clockwork thumbed back towards his endless floating timelines he had to oversee and shook his head. 

“Daniel knows about this?” Vlad asked, a bit grateful he wouldn’t have to figure this out by himself.

“I have not spoken to him but he was in the Ghost Zone and heard it himself. He has already planned on investigating some time soon, it would be best if you go with him.” Clockwork turned away from Vlad and floated up towards another portal that showed a timeline. “That is all for now Vladimir, I wish you luck in fixing this before it’s too late.” With that Clockwork opened a portal for Vlad back to his home. Vlad had so many questions he wished to ask but he knew they would fall on deaf ears. So he turned sharply on his heels and left through the portal. Once he was back in the kitchen of his home he fell into a nearby chair and covered his face with a hand. 

He really wanted a drink but when he checked the clock above the sink, it was still the same time it was when he left. Wonderful, he still had to be at work in half an hour and deal with human interactions. Vlad closed his eyes and gave himself a prep talk of not calling off and to go be the adult he was. With a few more grumbles of food and candy related curses, Vlad pulled himself together and headed to work. Vlad failed to notice the small puddle footsteps that followed him all the way to the door.

---

“Why can’t I go!?” Dani yelled towards Danny as she slid down the stair railing. Dani had overheard Jazz and Danny talking about what was going on when she came home from school and was excited about an adventure. "I wanna go!”

“No. You have school and I don’t have time to explain everything to mom and dad if you get us caught.” Danny rolled his eyes as he made his way to the kitchen to get a snack. 

“You have school too, that was a crappy excuse.” Dani crossed her arms and leaned against the table.

“Yeah I know, that’s why I’d make a great parent one day.” Danny rummages through the frig for a moment before settling on shredded cheese. It may have not been 3am there in Minnesota but it was 3 am somewhere and that was good enough. Dani whispered an ‘ew’ and Danny shrugged before stuffing his mouth.

“Come on, I wanna help find this ghost and pow pow!” Dani punched the air a few times in her “oh so killer” fighting moves.

“How do you know it’s a bad ghost?” Danny smirked and put a hand on his hip.

“How do you know it’s not?” Dani cocked an eyebrow and Danny silently agreed. “Besides, you totally need me, I’m the better Phantom here.” Dani flipped her ponytail and struck a pose. Danny let out a ‘ha!’ before stuffing his face again and placing the cheese back into the frig before turning invisible and slipping through the floor. Dani laughed and followed him to the basement. When they made it to the ground Danny changed into his ghost form. Dani was about to change too but a hand quickly stopped her and Danny told her no. 

“Now way are you going, if I remember correctly you need to pack to go back home. You know how Vlad gets when you’re never ready.” Danny said.

“Ughhhhh! He can wait! I haven’t been there in 6 months. I think he’ll be fine if I’m not ready for five minutes.” Dani crossed her arms and pouted but it didn’t phase Danny as he placed a hand on his hip and pointed for her to go back upstairs.

“I wish I was the older one,” Dani grumbled, turning invisible and flying away. Danny groaned and shook his head before turning back towards the portal. Danny wouldn’t have minded Dani tagging along if he had a better understanding of what was going on. But the older brother in him didn’t want to put her in danger. That was also the reason he hadn’t told Sam and Tucker about it. Over the past few years, Danny had found himself still sticking a toe in the ring before asking for help. Unlike before when he did it for hero points, he now was just worried about everyone around him. Danny stepped over to the button to open the portal and braced himself just in case he was opening it to another scream. Luckily the only sounds that came were the normal everyday portal sounds. Danny floated in and closed the portal with his remote on his utility belt. Wouldn’t want anyone who shouldn’t be out getting out.

Unlike the day before Danny actually saw other ghosts out and about. But something still felt odd or more so upsetting. As he flew around he tried to pinpoint the negative energy. Just then he heard fighting coming from his right on a random floating rock.

“Johnny I don’t wanna ride with you anymore!” Kitty yelled as she kicked off the bike and walked away from her boyfriend. Danny cocked an eyebrow as he watched Johnny and Kitty, it wasn’t unusual to see them going at it every once and a while. But something told Danny to keep watching. 

“Babe we don’t have time for this, whatever it is, we gotta get somewhere safe so we don’t hear that screaming.” Johnny kicked out his kickstand and hopped off his bike.

“No! You’re being reckless again, you’re always being reckless and look where it got us. I told you when it started let’s go to the human world and you told me no. Why don’t you listen to me?” Kitty crossed her arms and snatched away from Johnny when he tried to touch her.

“Well I didn’t think it would get this bad but now it's driving us all crazy. Get on the bike and we’ll go wherever you want, ‘k?” Johnny was trying to reason with Kitty but the other seemed to only get more upset. 

“I don’t wanna go there anymore, you’ll just try and chat up that redhead again!” Kitty turned and screamed at her boyfriend then quickly covered her mouth. 

“What?” Danny whispered to himself. That was so long ago, Danny himself almost didn’t remember it and he was the shittiest when it happened. Kitty had long forgiven Johnny after he explained why he did what he did. They even made up and were stronger together than before. So why would she bring up old news all of a sudden?

“J-Johnny why did I say that?” Kitty was scared by the words that left her mouth. She asked him again in panic and Johnny shook his head and grabbed her hand to hurry back over to his bike. They quickly rode off farther into the Ghost Zone. Danny flew off as well heading mindlessly in the opposite direction but was quickly stopped in his tracks when a blast nearly took off his face.

“Screw you Skulker!” Danny looked down and Saw Ember and Skulker ready to go head to head. Now this was new. Ember was fired up and ready to strum her boyfriend away with on note, while Skulker already had his weapons drawn. Danny had never seen them fight like this unless it was against him. Of course, the couple threw jabs at each other but honestly, they were in love.

“Just admit you were wrong, Ember, and we can move on from this.” Skulker refused to lower his weapon, the tech ghost was ready for anything.

“Why do you keep saying that? I didn’t do anything, you’re the one that fucked up!” Ember rose her peck in the air and slammed down on the strings sending a wave Skulker way. The other ghost quickly dodged it and fired back while Ember used her guitar to block it.

“I didn’t do anything! You’re the one that started it!” Skulker yelled back.

“Started what?!”

“I don’t know!” Skulker lowered his gun and thought for a moment. What were they fighting about? No really why were they fighting? They were just watching tv and talking about new music when all of a sudden they were at each other’s neck.

“I don’t know either,” Ember floated to a rock and placed her head in her hands. Skulker flew over to her and wrapped an arm over her shoulder. It was then he noticed Danny watching them.

“ What is going on?” Danny flew a bit closer and the couple shook their heads.

“The screaming is making everyone lose their minds, or what is left of them.” Ember answered. She looked so tired and worn out.

“Have you guys been fighting a lot?” Danny had a very weird idea that he wanted to test out.

“Is it noticeable?” Skulker scuffed and pulled Ember in for an apology hug. Ember smirked and accepted it.

“I just saw Johnny and Kitty fighting and it was weird.” Danny thought out loud as he tried to fit the pieces together.

“That’s not new, what’s new is Box Ghost and Lunch Lady fighting. I saw them yesterday throwing things back and forth before Lunch Lady got the upper hand and shoved Box into a container.” Ember started to chuckle to herself and Skulker followed. The couple then started cracking jokes about how dumb other ghosts were. 

“Has anything else seemed out of place around here?” Danny hated to interrupt their kiki time but he really needed answers.

“Desiree has been crying about that sultan guy again.” Skulker answered.

“Poindexter keeps muttering about somebody named Dexter wanting to apologize to him or whatever.” Ember added. “Did you know Spectra and Bertrand were a thing? I didn’t until I saw them going at it.” Danny made a face of disgust, he honestly thought Spectra would be with someone else.

“So it's mostly couples or people with some type of relationship being affected, but why?” Danny scratched his head trying to figure out the connection and the screaming but he kept drawing a blank.

“Oh god don’t tell me the screaming is coming from a heartbroken ghost, that is lame.” Ember said, she rolled her eyes and made a fake gagging noise.

“Seems like the likely case.” Danny had to agree with her, that was pretty lame.

“Well she needs to get over it, we’re already dead, move on.” Danny had to bite his tongue from calling Ember a hypocrite when it took a long while for her to move on to Skulker.

“Skulker, do you have any idea where the screaming could be coming from?” Danny asked, hoping for a lead. The tech ghost removed his arm from Ember and hit the button on his wrist to bring up an echo map. He tapped at the holo screen a few times then turned the projection towards Danny.

“Southbound heading almost towards the pits, which is surprising. No one in their right mind should be near the pits.” Danny had heard of the pits before, it was basically the darkest part of the Ghost Zone. It was said that no matter how hard you tried to light your way it seemed to only get darker and darker. “You’re going to go, aren’t you?” Skulker asked Danny and the young ghost smirked and shrugged.

“Someone has to keep you all under control, if not me like always then who? Catch ya later.” Danny bided a farewell to the couple who seemed to be in a way better mood and started to head downward. 

[englandsgray]

Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020

Well hi 👋

Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...

I am English and somewhere over 30.  I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes.  The kiss is British television history.  Series 4 is my favourite.  Moriarty on the beach is life.  The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.

I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this.  I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!

Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms?  I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees.  Oh yes.  Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing.  So far so random!  Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown.  I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.  That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.  

You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge?   Thank you, firstly.  My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful.  I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of.  But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast.  I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it.  But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!       

What’s your favourite place and way to write?  My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous!  I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.   

Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go?  Did you outline/plot in advance?  First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots!  The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage.  At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB.  Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!)  As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone!  I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end.  I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting.  I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases.  How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work?  I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience.  Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods.  I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach.  I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on.  Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.) 

You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice.  That said, which character do you find easiest to write?  Which is the hardest?  Thank you so much.  I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style!  I find Molly and her POV really difficult.  I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me.  I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly?  The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards.  I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like.  I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.

There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’.  Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it?  Thank you!  Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for.  I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family.  This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street.  I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible.  I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that.  It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it.  But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will... 

Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist?  What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...

Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing.  It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.

How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently.  Life is very short, love is forever.

High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time.  The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.  

Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe!  Blame the zoom exercise class I do!  But oh my goodness, it’s Molly.  Bless her.

Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon.  Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons.  This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading.  Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️

Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...

“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜

X

A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193

A fav fic of mine by @ohaine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904

My stuff:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works

[mellow-em]

Bedlam (Sam Drake)

PROLOGUE: ALL GONE 

The life she had built in only a year had disintegrated, and she was set on her stubborn mindset of finding her purpose away from Jackson. 

I DO NOT OWN ANY TLOU OR UNCHARTED CHARACTERS! ALL RIGHTS GO TO NAUGHTY DOG!

(This is a tlou x uncharted crossover. It’s set in tlou universe, but its a fic between an oc of mine, and Sam! I’m not sure how this is gonna turn out so please bear with me)

Chapter 1

_________________________________

Jackson, Wyoming

______________________

His face was illegible beyond compare, signifying my speculations were true. My recollection of the previous year had felt feverish now, as if I couldn’t graze my fingers on the memories we held between each of us.

“You’re fucking lying.”

Denial.

He lowers his head, only showing the textured black hair, that glistened with flecks of grey and white. His shameful stature made my fists clench beside me. If I didn’t know any better, I would collide them with his face; a face that held floods of imperfections already.

The pitiful man that stood before me couldn’t even relay a word out into the open. He remained mute, and shook his head at the ground.

I hadn’t realised my breath was held at my throat, creating a hoarse sensation that began choking me. I was drowning in the searing atmosphere around the both of us, as it was anything but tranquil.

Regardless of my state of pure vexation though, I took it upon myself to suck in a breath of dry air, only to release it in a huff. I mirror his actions as well, bowing my head to take in the details of my shoes.

We had found these a few months back, along with some for Ellie. Her harsh aura had been flipped as soon as I presented her with the idea that we would have matching pairs of sneakers. It was the smallest of gestures, but it was done at a time of hope.

This version of hope so happened to be revived ten times greater than before, when we finally reached our goal given to us a year prior. But now, I finally realize that it was false hope.

With my reclaimed memories flooding back, a final statement replayed in my mind: If the fate of Ellie and I had looked like this before, I would have turned my back on the journey immediately.

“After everything we’ve done,” I felt the salt-tasting droplets of tears fall from my eyes, and down my reddened cheeks as I looked up at the selfish bastard I thought I knew, “after everything Ellie’s gone through, she-” I quickly lowered my head again, suffocating from my own words.

I sat myself down on the steps of his home. It had become habitual for me to reside at his place ever since we made it back to Jackson. Sitting on his porch, with a plate of food in our laps as we talked endlessly began to give me a form of peace after our horrific adventures across the country.

Now, it felt like I was stuck in a sustained deception of what I thought was a simmering hush from reality.  

With my head in my hands I let out a soft stifle of a cry, as I sat there in complete disbelief.

Then my heartbeat fastened, and my rapid movements from my anxieties stopped as I realised something.

“Ellie doesn’t know… does she?” my voice was delicate, but it still  held every sparing trace of anger sternly.

The silence continued to speak the answers for him, giving my hunch an even bigger victory. I truly didn’t want to believe this.

“Oh my god, oh my fucking god,” I groaned in agony as I stumble off the steps, feeling the sheer pain overwhelming me.

I clutched my chest as I felt it ring itself out, creating a boulder of tension within my entire body. I stood in the middle of his lawn, hyperventilating from the truth bearing its sharp daggers deep into my frame. The world around me was spiraling out of control, causing my balance to falter slightly.

This resulted in him rushing to my aid, but we damn well knew I didn’t want it. As soon as his hand grazed my arm, I swatted it away harshly, and twisted my body to face his worrisome one.

The developing resentment I had for him was far from dwindled, staying true within my eyes as I bored my stare into his. As I looked into his hazel ones, I could see each memory through them; the good and bad.

Floods pricked at my waterline again as I stared him down. Keeping myself contained from lashing out was becoming harder with each passing minute.

That was when one final memory was displayed through his dilated pupils.

The words replayed within my head.

“Swear to the both of us that everything you said about the fireflies is true.”

“I swear.”

Actuality set in again as I felt his hands gently caress my shoulders. The touch created fumes of heat that set themselves off completely, and my exasperation manipulated my system. I hadn’t realized I had my hands clenched in tight fists again until one finally met his face. Maybe I didn’t know any better.

He stumbled back slightly, his hand jerking its way to hold his pained cheek. He now had a wave of anger across his features, with his hardened attitude spiraling as much as mine.

Only my excuse wasn’t as far fetched as his must have been.

I tried to keep a firm stance, even with the overwhelming feeling of unconsciousness threatening the adrenaline and I. 

I still kept my fists clenched at my sides, with my knuckles fading into a white color,“You’re fucking selfish, and I hope you fucking know that.”

He mimicked my demeanor, as he stepped over to me. The closer he got, his frame began to tower over me. Though if his plan was to intimidate, he should know by now that it doesn’t work on me anymore.

“I did what I needed, to save you both.” His venomous, southern tone reverberated down to me, while his words contradicted it.

“Save us? “I laughed sarcastically, with a malicious hue coating me. I began to pace back and forth in front of him as I spoke, “Is that what were calling mass murder of the innocent these days? I suppose that goes for lying and manipulation too?”

“Kate-”

“Joel.”

His name drenched my mouth in poison.

Joel let out a heavy sigh, from what seemed to be frustration, while I wiped my tear-stained face aggressively.

He brings his hand to his face once more, stroking his unkempt beard while looking away. I held my gaze on him however, draining every last second I needed to be around him for.

An uneasy feeling began to settle within the pit of my stomach; I knew exactly what it was about.

I couldn’t bear to stay here any longer. This truth made the relationship I had with him, and life in Jackson unsalvageable. There was something pulling on my arm, however.

It was the thought of abandoning Ellie, knowing damn well I couldn’t do such a thing to her without letting her know. It would haunt me.

But, I wasn’t going to sit here while people were perishing by the second. I wasn't going to pretend life could feel normal again, regardless of my urge to live in such a fantasy. It may be something I wanted, but not something I needed. 

I knew for a fact that Ellie would feel the same if she knew the truth, but for once, I wanted the kid to live in this unrealistic version of tranquility; she needed to try an experience of what her teenage years could be like, even if it’s fucked up to extremes.

It wasn’t long before my contemplative thoughts were put to rest as Joel’s voice rang in my ear. I sigh, transferring my focus onto him. I knew what needed to be done.

“Kate, listen I-”

“Ellie,” I gulp down the saliva building up in my mouth, “I need you to take care of her.”

His face was glistening with confusion now.

“And tell Tommy and Maria I said thank you for letting me stay here.”

“Kate what the hell are you on abo-”

“I’m leaving,” I direct my eyes to the mountains beyond the borders of Jackson, crossing my arms in front of me, “I should be gone long before sunrise, so.”

I glance at Joel without moving my head, and see his face noticeably falling as the words fell from my lips. Silence tore a hole within us for a short time, only for Joel to be the first to speak.

“Do I need to remind you what is out there?”

“If you haven’t figured it out yet, Joel, I can take care of myself just fine.”

I begin to walk past him fixing my attention to gathering my shit, and getting the hell out of here. Though, Joel’s hand firmly grabs at my wrist, halting my attentiveness to the steps of the house ahead of me.

I yank my arm back to its rightful place at my side, shooting him a final look.

“Goodbye, Miller. Don’t come looking for me.”

I then walk myself into the house, deserting the former smuggler out in his front yard.

____________________

The life within the town had lessened to the hidden infestations of crickets that were scattered throughout,  and the sounds of my converse crunching the textured, dirt paths of Jackson.

There was a slight alteration to the electrical systems around here, leaving the barbed wire on one section of the fence to loose its function; along with sneaking past guards, it was the perfect getaway without getting noticed. 

Before even reaching a few yards towards the fence, I remember something.  I still had one last thing I needed to do before returning to the life away from here.

I exhale a large puff of air in frustration, and turn back towards the direction I had come from. I reach into my jacket pocket, just to be sure I had what I needed.

My hands held a letter, along with a worn out, yet surprising functional cassette. As I ventured down the roads, the written prompts from the letter replay.

Ellie,

I wanted to give you a proper goodbye, but it just wasn’t possible.

I’m sure you’ll be wondering where I have run off to, and why I won’t be in bed when you go to rudely wake me up by jumping on me.

I’m leaving Jackson. I have some personal things that have been eating at me, and I need to sort them out myself.  I told Joel to watch over you, and make sure you live as much as possible.

I’m not just talking about breathing. I need you to live your life up in Jackson as much as you can.

You deserve more happiness than anyone on this earth, Els.

And speaking of, I know you loved the song I sang to you at the bonfire the first night we were here. I found this a long time ago even before I met you and Joel. Consider it a very early birthday gift from me.

I love you kiddo.

-Kit

I felt something wet trickling down my face, only for me to abruptly swipe them off my scar-stained complexion.

I soon made it back to square one, making sure I remained quiet so both Ellie and Joel continued to sleep. If it were other situations, I wouldn’t mind too much. But I couldn’t face either of them any longer, as cowardice as it is.

I twist the doorknob to Ellie’s place, begging for it to be unlocked. Luck was my side, with the handle gently twisting with my hand.

With a few swift motions, I sneak myself in, silently closing the door with delicacy so Ellie wouldn’t wake up.

Her room was just coming together from it’s appearance; her worn furniture had been disarray across the wooden floors, along with several new articles of clothing scattered throughout the room. 

My eyes wandered to the posters plastered across the walls, that I assume were freshly hung up. It was beginning to look like the small garage was home to Ellie, making my anxieties for her adjustments here less of an issue than before. 

My attention finally directed itself to her frail stature, cuddled in a bed much larger than her. If it was possible, she could get lost in a bed like that due to her small frame.

She had a quilted blanket lazily draped over her, and a wide range of pillows supporting her head. She had been facing away from me, but I knew she was sleeping with her mouth open, as I could here the loud sounds of her breathing.

I smiled, wishing I was able to stifle a laugh without releasing her from her slumber. She had always been one to leave her mouth hanging open as she slept. The result was constant bantering between me poking fun, and her becoming defensive. 

Our relationship had developed so well over time, and it had begun to feel like she was my daughter. My other half. 

My smile immediately dropped as I dragged myself back into reality, and the reason why I was even here in the first place. I needed to do this, for myself and for her. I shook my head from its thoughts, and started for the direction of Ellie. 

I made sure to walk to her bedside table as quietly as my frantic self could, hoping I didn’t disrupt her sound sleep. With each step closer to her, I held my breath, hesitant to even do this at this point. 

As soon as I make it to her, I took in the features grazed upon her round head; her large cheeks sat with a shade of pink coating them, along with her freckles overriding her paler skin. Her eyes were closed gently, with her brows flatlined.

She was so peaceful when she slept. 

I took out the letter and cassette from my pockets, gracefully placing them both on the table without a trace of a blare. 

I held my fingertips on the letter, as if I were glued to the rustic piece of paper. I was hesitating again, so it was time for a push. 

I released my hand from it, and turned to Ellie. Before I could even think, I leaned towards her, and kissed her temple weakly, and backed away. 

As I had done before I went to the door with as little sound following me as possible, and twisted the knob of the entryway. 

The door was open now, blowing the soft, night winds onto my face as if it were patches of silk. 

As a final goodbye, I mentally threw a farewell into the open, as I gazed at my surrogate daughter one final time. Before I could shed a singular tear, I rushed out of there as fast as I could, releasing the tension-building breath I had forgot to unleash before. 

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, with my voice becoming fragile as I spoke two final words in Jackson. 

It was time to walk away. 

As I venture back towards the fence as stealthily as I could, another set of Joel’s wise words skipped on a countless loop in my thoughts.

“No matter what, you keep finding something to fight for.”

I needed to search for my own answers, whatever they were.

This was, and still is something to fight for. 

I’m sorry.

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroes (Updated) by DarkChild316

“Guess who’s back…back again! DarkChild’s back, with 10 more friends!” LOL, sorry for that lame-ass joke, but I was listening to some Eminem earlier today. Anyway, my terrible sense of humor aside, I thought it would be a good time to give my list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Heroes” an update, figured since I did one for the villains I thought shit, might as well do one for the heroes too! Now once again, this list is strictly for the men only, if you want a list of my favorite anime queens, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines”. But in the meantime, enjoy this updated list of my favorite anime heroes:

#10. Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia): One of the newest (and quite literally) entries on my list, Deku is a character who dreamed of becoming a hero in spite of being born without a Quirk or any kind of powers in a world dominated by heroes with them. Only to be chosen as successor to the greatest hero of the age, All Might. A humble yet caring fanboy at heart, if All Might represents the Golden Age of heroes, then Deku represents the future of heroes in the Modern Era. He may be a socially awkward cinnamon roll at the best of times, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that he’s not willing to stand up and do what’s right when the chips are down and the world needs a hero to stand for, no matter what form of villain is in the way! The only reason he doesn’t rank any higher on this list, is because he’s still relatively new to the scene and time will tell where he stands in the Patheon of anime legends.

#9. Inuyasha (InuYasha): He’s half dog-demon, half human: put it all together and what do you get? A sword-wielding hybrid who knows how to take care of business. Originally wanting nothing more than to become a full demon, his human heart trumped his selfish desires, leading him to fall for the modern-day schoolgirl he vowed to protect. Fighting through feudal Japan to recover fragments of the Sacred Jewel, InuYasha can be both cold and rude, yet heartfelt and compassionate. Plus, he makes us all laugh whenever we see this happen.

#8. Alucard (Hellsing): There have been a shitload of vampires in modern anime, yet all of them owe their debt to this tall, dark, well-dressed man. There has never been a vampire as delightfully sadistic as Alucard but unlike most vampires, there’s a method to his sadism that makes him truly brilliant. He isn’t truly evil, he’s just a monster who revels in destroying other monsters in any sadistic way he sees fit. And he truly revels in it, making his victims (most of which are evil Nazis and powerful demons) believe they actually have a chance by damaging them before regenerating and wrecking them in devastating fashion. This isn’t to say he’s totally heartless though, as he’s shown a great deal of fondness for the members of his team who are just as devoted to ridding the world of the evil forces that threaten it. Even though the anime version of Alucard mentions that he doesn't entirely understand humans anymore, he seems happy to work in the service of them, and to protect them from devils who aren't as honorable as he is.

#7. Kenshin Himura (Rurouni Kenshin): When I was a kid, Rurouni Kenshin was my favorite anime growing up and Kenshin was my favorite character. Having had a chance to revisit this anime recently during lockdown reminded me once again why that is, Kenshin is easily the most compelling character I had seen growing up as a kid and he was a refreshing change of pace in the samurai genre. Firstly, he was quite feminine to the point that many mistook him for a woman. He was also one of the politest characters in anime history, frequently putting others before himself and speaking to them with the utmost respect and patience. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think the guy would be better suited as a florist that a samurai. But underneath that smiling exterior hides a dark secret, Kenshin is a man haunted by the demons of his past. A former mercenary who killed countless foes, he makes a vow to never kill again, and is repeatedly tested on that vow time and time again as less virtuous people endanger the country’s peace. When Kenshin's hand is forced, he can go to incredibly dark places and fall back into the habits that made him known far and wide as the most fearsome swordsman in the land. Although Kenshin’s momentary lapses make him a complete badass and set the stage for some of the most epic sword battles ever animated, Kenshin always goes back to his sweet persona once the danger is gone. But in his solitary, quiet moments, he's gripped by his greatest fear; that one day he will permanently revert to his former self and become a manslayer once more.

#6. Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop): I’ll admit, it had been a long time since I’d seen Cowboy Bebop, so naturally I had forgotten about how cool a character Spike Spiegel was. Thankfully, this pandemic has allowed me to revisit it, and I find myself being just as in awe of Spike as I was when I was kid in the 90’s, he’s that awesome a character folks! Spike was an amalgamation of influences (from Bruce Lee, to Lupin III, and a little dose of film noir), and the result was a creation greater than the sum of its parts. In a series like Cowboy Bebop, which was itself a combination of cultural influences from around the globe, Spike was the essence of the story. Voice actor Steve Blum launched his career into new heights when he gave the performance of a lifetime in the English dub of the series, giving Spike a sense of smooth, effortless cool that many argue surpassed the original Japanese version.

Spike proved to be a versatile character; he was an expert pickpocket, a gearhead who worked on his own spaceship, a clever detective, a badass fighter, and even a bit of a philosopher. But what made Spike most interesting was his past as a gangster, and a man hopelessly in love. His relationship with Julia, and the tragic end of that relationship, haunts him throughout the series and shows us what truly mattered to him all along. When Cowboy Bebop reaches its powerful conclusion, Spike goes out in a blaze of glory that is unmatched in the history of anime (all I have to say is “Bang”).

#5. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach): The first of the shonen “Big 3” to appear on my list, you’d think being born with the ability to see ghosts would be enough, but not for this high-school bruiser. After a fateful encounter with a Shinigami, Ichigo gains the power of a god of death, and is tasked with defending his home from the malicious spirits known as Hollows. As his seemingly endless battle stretches to other planes of existence and some truly frightening enemies, both Quincy and Hollow, this orange-haired swordsman will keep fighting to protect what matters most to him no matter what.

#4. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece): The second member of the shonen “Big 3” to make my list, this straw-hatted rubber-man takes my vote for his carefree spirit and his big heart. With the dream of grabbing the title of Pirate King, Luffy is a man who thinks with his stomach and fists rather than his head. Always in the pursuit of adventure, this happy-go-lucky guy may be the last person you consider when you think pirate captain. But you’d be wrong: You mess with Luffy’s crew and he’ll declare war on the entire world to save them.

#3. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto): Talk about a rough childhood. After having a powerful demon sealed inside of him, Naruto was a social outcast in the shinobi village he grew up in; even though people despised him for being the vessel for the Nine-Tailed Fox demon he did not take the darker path in life nor did it deter him from pursing his dream of becoming the village leader to gain the respect and admiration of those who once shunned him. Naruto’s growth as both a ninja and human can be seen throughout the series,  as it was this good nature of his and the will to protect everyone close to him that slowly changed the attitude of people towards him as the bonds of friendship he forges make his dream worth fighting for.

#2. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist): Wildly ambitious, wickedly smart, and wise beyond his years, Edward Elric entered the stage with a fresh, but interesting take on the modern shonen anime hero. Unlike those who came before him, he wasn’t this lovable idiot with a heart of gold. He was smart, calculating, arrogant, and shrimp sized. But most daring of all was the fact that Edward is technically handicapped, having had both an arm and a leg lost in a tragic accident fueled by love and hubris. In Edward we had a character who unlike most anime heroes was truly multidimensional. He could be comedic and pull off wild takes and sight gags. He could be placed in the most tragic circumstances and portray the deepest kind of sadness. He could be a complete badass, but he could also be the nicest guy on the planet. And most of all we saw Edward discover harsh truths about the world and learn that he didn’t know nearly as much as he thought he did.

#1. Son Goku (Dragon Ball): With the greatest respect to those like Luffy and Naruto, none of those characters would have ever been possible without this man (and the creators of One Piece and Naruto have even admitted this themselves). The prototype for shounen lead characters, Goku was somewhat of an anomaly back in his day. When the plucky, pint-sized kid Goku first appeared in Dragon Ball, the trend for male heroes was to have larger than life muscle heads (which Goku ironically turned into in his adulthood). Goku also grew up; another drastic change in a time when characters rarely changed much. But Dragon Ball Z is where Goku truly earned his fame. Goku isn’t even the most popular character in DBZ sometimes, but he is the foundation of the series. His heroism, strength, and dedication make him the perfect core for a kid’s show where the themes are meant to be pretty simple. He may not be the most complex character in anime history, but he’s perfect for the goal he was meant to accomplish. But Goku isn’t my top hero so much for his character complexity; it’s his influence that cannot be denied. He was, in many ways, a character that bucked the trends of his time and defined the direction of shonen manga/anime for decades, and that's why he's my #1 anime hero of all-time.

So that's my list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroes are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[a-duck-with-a-book]

REVIEW // Seven Blades in Black (The Grave of Empires #1) by Sam Sykes

★☆☆☆☆

Disclaimer: while I was reading this book, I found out that Sam Sykes has been accused by numerous women of sexual harassment. You can find more information about it below: - a post listing several accusations of misconduct - twitter post responding to the situation - one of the accusations against Sam Sykes - his quickly-deleted apology Suffice to say, I have no intention of continuing this series or reading any more of his books.

I have a lot to say about this novel, so I’ll begin by making a quick bullet point list outlining what I liked and disliked:

Liked:

Cavric <3

Lisette deserved better

Some interesting concepts in the world building

Disliked:

Sal as a narrator

Sal as an antihero

Sal as a person in general

Writing style

Constant interruptions

Meandering narrative

The “narrator knows something but the writer avoids revealing it until the end for the drama” trope

This is a Big Tough World and Nobody Gets To Be Happy

Lesbians written by a man who harasses women

Unnecessarily long

// image: official cover art Jeremy Wilson //

Let’s begin with the full review by starting with the (few) positives, shall we?

First and foremost, I genuinely enjoyed Cavric and Lisette. It is unfortunate that they had to deal with Sal for the entirety of the novel, but we’ll get to her later. If this book had been a buddy adventure with these two, in which Cavric slowly shows Lisette that she is in a toxic relationships and deserves to move on and find someone better for herself, I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more. Secondly (and finally), Sykes introduced some genuinely interesting world building. The background of the Empire and the Scar was fascinating to read, but unfortunately did not save the rest of this mess.

Alright now let’s rant.

I have 35 notes and 52 highlights from this book, so this might get block quote heavy. (Go check out my notes if you want to see me slowly lose my sanity)

Sal is awful. I know she’s meant to be awful, but she’s not flawed in the way that I think Sykes was trying to write her. I believe she was intended to be a scruffy, lovable antihero who fought her way through a dangerous landscape with her sharp blade and even sharper tongue. A girl who had wrongs committed against her in the past, who did terrible things but is now on the road to an epic redemption arc. She shoots bad guys, she says f*ck and a*s a lot, and she is morally complex. That’s the character that Sykes was trying to make. The one he created, however, is a genuinely terrible person who I had no desire to see come out on top. I have a myriad of issues with her, but let’s outline a couple below: (1) She is incredibly toxic for Lisette. Am I getting a bit too heated about a fictional relationship? Sure. Was I happy to read a toxic lesbian romance written by a man who sexually harasses women? Nope. It kind of grossed me out, actually. Anyway, let me give you a run down of their relationship. Sal arrives. Sal and Lisette sleep together. Sal asks Lisette to give her weapons and or fix things for her. Sal sneaks away, telling herself no good will come of this relationship and they will only cause each other pain. Sal needs something. Sal comes back. Repeat over and over. She constantly says, throughout the book, that it would be better if they just left each other, but then again Sal is the one who goes back to Lisette over and over, causing her renewed heartbreak. I don’t know if Sykes thought that simply making Sal aware of how terrible this behavior was was enough, but it just made me incredibly frustrated. At one point Sal says:

”Intellect like hers is a curse. The more you understand of the world, the less of it you trust.”

Yes, Sal, that’s what’s giving her trust issues. Her intelligence. Nice. By the end of the book, it seems that they are on the mend-I’m getting end-game vibes from these two. But honestly, I spent the entire time thinking that Lisette deserved so much better than Sal. Like literally a chicken would have provided healthier companionship. I’ll end with this quote, in which Lisette outlines perfectly why Sal does not deserve her:

“What am I doing wrong that you’d choose this over me?”

(2) Sal is annoying. Really, really annoying. I kid you not, half of this book is made up of Sal’s snarky comments. She is badass. She has a gun. She is an outlaw. And she will never, EVER shut up about it. Imagine a quirky line after an otherwise dark or action-packed sequence. Funny, right? Might break the tension, make the narrator more endearing, etc. Now imagine one such line after every. Single. Paragraph. Picture a violent battle scene where the protagonist is fighting for their lives against a ruthless opponent. Now insert a snarky comment after every other paragraph and watch the entire flow of the scene fall apart with constant interruptions. That’s what this book is-which brings me to my next point.

The writing isn’t great. There are constant interruptions, meandering narratives, and the trope that haunts me in nearly every dark fantasy novel I read-This is a Big Tough World and Nobody Gets To Be Happy-is shoved repeatedly in your face. Let’s start with the interruptions, returning to my previous point (ie. Sal never shuts up), by looking at this sequence:

I  followed the shrieking wind. I had come here prepared for something bad. But I wasn’t prepared for just how bad it was. I rounded the corner of the hall, came out atop a battlement. The wind struck me with a screaming gale, forcing me to shield my face and cling to the stone for purchase. My eyes squinted against the harshness of the light, the kind of offensive pale you only see in your nightmares. And through them, I could see the bowed shapes of towers sagging, the flayed flesh of banners whipping in a wind that wouldn’t cease, the shadows of figures frozen in a death that had brought no peace. And I knew where I was. There was nothing that had ever made Fort Dogsjaw special. It had never been crucial for defense, never a hub for trade, it hadn’t even been named for anything special—the commander just liked the sound of it. It lived its whole life a regular, boring Imperial fort on the edge of the Husks. It only got important at the time of its death. Over three hundred mages and a few thousand regulars had assembled here in one day—some to receive assignments, some to man the garrison, some to head back to Cathama on leave. They had been laughing, cursing, drinking when the news came that the new Emperor of Cathama was a nul, born with no magic. And then there had been a moment of silence.

I’ve bolded for emphasis, but do you see what I’m talking about? The paragraph-line-paragraph-line format is so annoying to read, I had to put the book down at certain points because of how frustrated I got. It interrupted the forward movement of the story, making the novel drag on and on.

You know what else makes this feel like the nightmare version of the Never-ending Story? The page count. I don’t mind long books-The Priory of the Orange Tree is one of my favorite reads so far this year, and it’s longer than this one-but they have to have a reason for being so hefty. As I mentioned earlier, a considerable chunk of Seven Blades of Black is Sal making her awful, awful, AWFUL asides. I literally cannot express how much I despise those comments. Okay, let’s move on before I get hung up on THOSE STUPID COM-*cough*

This novel is marred by unnecessary lines and a meandering plot that drag out the story. One instance is the amount of times that Sal is a second away from killing someone and, for some reason (usually not a good one), fails in her goal. She places a gun at someone’s head and goes through a whole monologue in her head until the person miraculously escapes. This type of subversion of expectations is fine every once in a while, but if you are going to build up to a crucial moment and then take away the satisfaction of the defeat of some villain (or mini-boss, as many of the antagonists in this book feel like), then you need to have a good reason for doing it upwards of twenty times in ONE BOOK. Secondly, if you spend almost the entire novel setting up more and more villains and stressing how hard they are to kill and how dangerous their powers are (and presenting them separately and isolated), then when you have them all in one place at the end, at which point the protagonists starts going through them like a plate of french fries at a seagull convention, then you’re kind of taking away the satisfaction of the death. Somehow, this book manages to do both. We are constantly teased with almost-kills, then at the end Sal just blows through everyone in five seconds, easy-peasy.

I’m almost done, I swear-just two more gripes.

So much of the tension of this book rests on the fact that Sal, our narrator and our main viewpoint into the story, knows something that we don’t. I’ll be upfront with you-I hate this trope. If our POV character, the one whose mind we are in constantly, is entirely aware of something that happened before the beginning of the novel, and the author keeps from revealing that something for the entirety of the story solely to add drama, then I will not be a happy reader. Where is the logic. We are in this person’s mind. Just show us already and add tension ELSEWHERE.

And FINALLY (as painful as it was for you to read this, it was worse for me to write it), another issue I have with a lot of dark fantasy (see my review of Nevernight) is that the author really, really wants us to know that this is an incredibly dangerous and dark world by filling it to the brim with edge lord narrators, Big Guns, and, usually, women being harrased-because why not force all your female readers to constantly have to read about women getting assaulted? Apart from Sal’s 300,000 comments explaining to us that she is an asshole, that the Scar is Dangerous, and that she has Killed A Lot of People, we as readers must sit through hundreds of lines of dialogue and exposition that beat us over the head with the fact that this is DARK fantasy. This isn’t your nice little fairy adventure-no sir. Here we have Swear Words and Violence and Men writing Queer Women. To emphasize just how blatant Sykes is with the dark part of dark fantasy, let me tell you about an exchange Sal has with three old ladies who run a criminal empire. In the 2-3 pages that these women appear in, we are told, in some form or other, that they are grandmas who kill people, a grand total of, I kid you not, ELEVEN TIMES. Here are some excerpts from that whole situation:

”“Now, now.” Yoc, old and white haired and sweet as a grandmother—if that grandmother also had people killed on the regular—smiled at me. “I’m sure she has a good reason for being here.” She raised the hand that had signed the contracts that had killed a thousand men and women and took up her whiskey glass. “After all, I’m sure she knows how much we don’t like having our game interrupted.”” *I counted this as one since it’s in the same exchange but technically he mentions it TWICE

”…one didn’t waste the Three’s time if one didn’t want to end up with their teeth pried out.”

”How often do you meet the three old ladies who have people killed for money?”

”I said we should kill her on principle.”

”“But you know how many orphans I’ve made, don’t you, dear?””

”“He’s not so unlike us, is he? A murderer, yes. A monster to some. But, at his heart, a businessman.”

”Theirs were the hands that signed a thousand death contracts a year.”

”When they could be bothered to look up from their game, they decided who lived and died with a stroke of their pen.”

”At a word, they could have me stripped, tied, tortured, and cut up…”

”the Three don’t lie. Their assassins do. Their thieves do. But they don’t.”

”I had already wasted their time and I knew the Three were being generous just letting me fuck off instead of having me killed for the effort.”

TL;DR - Sal is annoying, Sykes is a bad writer, and Someone should have stopped me from reading this book