#when I was 16. it’s fucking natural. please look at real human beings.

[mascwoman]

The audacity of an adult lesbian not liking fat women. Have you never fucking seen a woman age?

[tohisprettyc00l]

Hii could I get a toh match up please:) romantic and Platonic if that’s ok

~I’m 16

~ I use they/them pronouns and am pansexual.

~I’m a Capricorn ♑️

~I love to read though I will read six books in a month or a book in six months.

~I can’t play it but I have a love for music

~I love to bake cooking as well but mainly baking :p

~I’m very introverted and hate talking to new people I’ll just nod or make a sound for the first 3 weeks or so but I’m also just naturally quiet

~I love thé outdoors mainly wooden places that give off an old fantasy vibe

~I get stressed over everything and I tend to over things

~ I have bad insomniac due to my work schedule so I do tend to be awake doing shit at any given time of that day or night

I Hope thats enough info for This :) Hope you have a good day and remember to look after your self :))



I (romantically) match you with: Amity Blight!

-She loves reading as well [mainly she'll read one series (Azura *cough* *cough*)but that still counts]

-Again she canonically likes baking. I think she'd like to share demon realm recipes and try out human realm recipes.

-Very much an introvert. Usually answers yeah to people she just became friends with (unless she had a rivalry or something with before)

- She lives in a fantasy world lol. But she also likes the vibe of old places.

-Definition of an overachiever. We can "thank" Odaila, and Alador to a lesser extent for that.

-Again relating back to her bad work habits because of her parents she often pulled all-nighters. Even though she's escaped that she's kept the bad habit for when she's making things.

I (Platonicly) match you with: Lilith Clawthorne!

-Damn you got Amity and Amity's REAL mom.

-Obv loves books.

-She loves music, both for the sound and for the history, it can carry.

-While she talks to people a lot whether she befriends them or they are enemies, you have to know her for her to talk first.

-Also likes old buildings but again for the history.

-She is the forgotten child who overdoes things because of that.

-She canonically has a bad sleep schedule right? I feel like I remember that being mentioned and/or shown.

I hope you like it! I'm a bit rusty and have the flu (get vaccinated kids the one year I didn't I got the fucking flu) so I hope it's ok!

[missgeniality]

A Date With Destiny (m)

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves, alone - we find it with another.” - Thomas Merton

➺ Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Strangers to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Fluff, Smut, one comedian in the mix

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11k

➺ Summary: You are a boss lady in the tech industry travelling to world for work. He is a chart-topping artist touring the globe to perform in front of millions of fans. In the cosmos of life, you are not likely to cross paths. Luckily, fate has a different plan for you two.

➺ Warnings: dom!jk, unprotected sex (sex is cleaner when you pack your weiner!), hickeys galore, lot of spit, oral (male and female receiving), balls receive attention, throat fucking, cum eating, edging, masturbation kinda?, cum play, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing, fingering, squirting, spanking, pain kink?, tit slapping, reader teases a bit but this man is a tease maestro, cum stuffing (is that a thing even?), Jungkook’s THIGHS need their own warning

➺ Author’s Note: @ppersonna​​ is an angel among us peasants. Thank you so much for all your help with this!   This is my first attempt at writing, and the tiniest feedback goes a long way! Hope you enjoy! 

When you die, the first pit stop you make is to the coffee gods. 

Without coffee, this whole month would have been a disaster. Back-to-back meetings, daily flights, countless documents being read, it’s a miracle your eyes are open and fully functioning. 

Being the Chief Technical Officer of a well-established company at your age had been anything but a cakewalk. You had strived hard and crossed many boulders to come to where you are. But if reaching that point required huge amounts of effort, now your work is tenfold. 

“Why can’t I just get longer flights so I can nap in them?” You mumble into your nth cup of coffee - not keeping count is for your own sanity. 

“Because longer flights apparently have crying children. You, our resident baby-magnet hypothesized that shorter flights equal more time in hotel rooms ‘sleeping’. Guess who sleeps in said hotel rooms? Everyone but you.” Your personal assistant and part-time truth-spouter Jake offers helpfully. 

“Past me was such an idiot.” You shoot back, wondering if you could inject the espresso right through your veins.

Jake pouts. “Woman, you take on jobs that an intern could do. If you weren’t such an unnecessary perfectionist I would be on the beaches of Thailand, getting sensual massages and eating some pretty pussy. But here we are, on our way to Seoul. So quit your whining because clearly, I have lost more.” 

“What if I wanted to do that too?”

“Can I watch?” 

“Right.” And that was the end of the conversation. 

Passengers on flight KE654 from Bangkok to Seoul are requested to report for boarding at Gate 45A. First Class passengers will be boarded first, followed by Business class and lastly Economy. Please keep your boarding pass ready for checking.

Jake stands up, groaning. “This is where we say goodbye. Do you wanna pretend like we’re strangers and have a hot one-night stand when we land?” 

“Sometimes I think it’s your natural response to flirt with a breathing being. Do you ever accidentally just, you know, flirt with a tree?” You try to sound sarcastic, but you’re genuinely curious. 

“If a day comes when a hot specimen like me has to flirt with a tree, humanity is doomed. Catch ya later!” He blows you a kiss before leaving for the restroom. You shake your head in awe, a small smile finding your lips. He knew how to get your mind off things.

For all his flirting, Jake’s interest in you is perfunctory. He looks after you, keeps you from starving or gouging your eyeballs out, and calms you when things are too hard. He’s seen your worst. You’ve seen him drunk out of his mind, bailed him out when he “accidentally” smoked up, and heard every new pick-up line his ingenious brain churned out. Basically, you’ve seen his worst as well. 

You take a look at your boarding pass. 3C. Jake would be in business class, and you in first. Not your choice, the company makes the rules. It's for the better, he says. Apparently, he can ‘prowl for his hunt better’, without your judgmental glare. You nearly vomit on him just for his choice of words.

Entering the flight, you stash away your hand baggage the first place you find the room and head to your seat and-

Holy. Shit.

Jeon Jungkook is sitting on your seat.

Jeon Jungkook is on your flight? 

BTS is on your flight? 

What are the odds?

Granted, you’re not a 16-year old obsessive fan, collecting photocards and waving light sticks through the screen, but even in your adulthood you’ve admired their music and shows, routinely keeping up with their discography. 

Hell, you even learned Korean years ago to better understand their songs. Maybe you are an obsessive fan.

But you can’t approach them like that. They no doubt want some privacy and not be recognized. God forbid you approach Jungkook with crazy eyes, just to be escorted off the plane for stalking. While you liked their work, you had your own, and getting thrown off this flight does not help you there.

So, you’re just gonna have to speak to him like just another passenger. 

BTS who? 

Biggest boyband who? 

You only listen to Frank Sinatra. 

“Excuse me?” You call out, a shiver of a whisper leaving your lips. You immediately chastise yourself for being so star-struck.

Big, round eyes glitter under the bucket hat. The softest ‘huh’ throws a lasso over your heart, and holds it captive. He adjusts his hat, inked fingers making a brief yet lasting appearance. The epitome of tenderness, you muse as his eyes flit here and there to figure out the situation. After finding no one to help him out, he gently offers “Yes?”

You feel extremely guilty for marring his serene face with creases of trouble. “I think this is my seat. See, 3C.” you say, pointing to the seat and then to your ticket for good measure. Did he suspect you recognize them? No. Do you look like you’re over-gesticulating? Totally. 

“Oh.” His brow distresses further, the sight has you ready to give the man your seat and hide in the bathroom for the rest of the flight. “But even I am 3C.”

His ticket shows the same characters as yours. 

Huh?

With both your faces contorted in confusion, an air hostess comes forward to help. 

“We both are booked on the same seat. How does that happen? Do I need to catch another flight?” You suddenly pour out, remembering the countless commitments you have in Seoul that would go down the drain if you don’t make it by tonight.

She's quick to reassure you. “Do not worry ma’am, I’m sure there must have been an error in the printing. I’ll be right back.” At the same time, Jungkook is approached by someone, probably one of their staff, to discuss the issue.

The air hostess returns smiling. “Ma’am, you both were booked on the same seat but this adjacent seat was left empty. We are extremely sorry for the error. You may take 3B.” She reiterates the same message to Jungkook in Korean, who then looks mighty relieved. 

Goddamn, his eyes got bigger. How much bigger can they get?

“All okay then?” He glances sideways, smile irradiating your senses and waking you up better than all the coffee could. 

“All good. Sorry for the trouble.” You add, even though it isn’t your mistake in any way.

“No no. No trouble” He beams back. 

Aw, you are in trouble. 

As the flight is about to take off, you can see the rest of BTS in the rows ahead of you, with some other staff members taking up other seats. There’s one old man with a scowl on his face, whom you can’t place with the BigHit group. Great, no crying kids. Unless the frowning grandpa snores to the heavens, you can actually catch a good four-hour snooze. Take that, Jake. Hope a kid blows snot in his face. 

Looking at your neighbor, you find him busy searching for a good video game on the screen. The other members seem to be using this flight to catch a nap, except him. You always wondered whether their on-screen persona was real or not. Now you could say at least one of his characteristics is true. 

Turning away, you bring your focus back to the document at hand. The schematics for a new product your company was launching. You had spearheaded its conception and looked over every single detail in its manufacturing. The Seoul branch is one of the main players in its production, and your last stop before heading back home. You must have every word in this file burnt in the back of your eyelids to make this deal smooth. 

Reclining your seat, and putting your legs up, you got down to business.

An Angel was calling you. 

You want to wake up, but you couldn’t, fearing the Angel would stop singing to you. Something is poking you, but the voice just drowns it all out.

Wait...

Fluttering your eyes open, you see Jeon Jungkook staring right at you. 

“Hi... They, umm--Food? Want to eat?” the Angel utters. Jungkook utters. Tomato, to-mah-to. 

“Oh!” you exclaim, wiping non-existent drool on your face. His palm on your shoulder quickly retracts at your exaggerated attempt to hide your embarrassment. “Thank you so much.”

Then, he does that thing. He smiles. Eye scrunch and all. 

Fuck the coffee gods. When you die, you want to meet the Grand Master and ask him what crack he was on to hand over so much power to one man’s smile. 

The food is placed on your table, and you thank the hostess graciously. 

“Do you need anything to drink?” She asks, to which you only shake your head. There was enough caffeine in your system to shoot a horse to the moon and you were still drowsy. There was no need to catalyze this process with booze.  

“Your Korean accent is pretty good.” Your next-seat resident comments. Ah, you had conversed with the hostess in Korean. 

“Thank you very much.” You giggle, roleplaying an acne-prone teenager talking to her hunk of a crush.

“Have you been speaking for a long time?” He pops a huge morsel of food after asking. Well, that’s another on-screen quality found to be accurate.

“Six years now. Comes in handy for my work.” 

“Oh! Did you have to learn it for work? That’s fascinating.” Another mouthful went in. You didn’t even know it was physically possible to hold that much rice using chopsticks.

“Uhh.. no..” You tussle your hair, trying to stop your cheeks from turning beet red, “I just listened to some music and consuming more content.. and subtitles are a bore, plus I needed a hobby at the time so..” 

Your unnecessarily long explanation was cut short by Jungkook’s child-like laugh, enjoying the pickle you were putting yourself in. 

“Hey! I just didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, that’s all.” you try to be cross, knowing it’s inconceivable since God himself seems to have given him whatever he wanted. If big ol’ Almighty can’t stand against his charms, you are but a mere pleb. 

He looks at you kindly. “Thank you, that was very thoughtful. I’ve been speaking to so many foreigners trying to get across to them I got surprised when you spoke so fluently.” 

He went back to chomping on his food like it was his last meal, completely unaware of your staring.  

You both speak for a long time. He explains their latest shoot and fan meeting, and you listen to him pour out his love for his job and fans as much as he could articulate. The rest of the emotion is portrayed by his now widest eyeballs (they cannot get any wider, you confirm by asking him - a request he apparently gets a lot) and intense gesticulation. It is very gratifying to listen to his past schedules, and you slip in a quick prayer for not having a job where you had to maintain public appearances while having a schedule as persevering as theirs. Sure, you had a ton of commitments. But can you throw your hair in a bun and aggressively scowl at a monitor and still meet your target? Fuck yeah.

You went on to tell him about yourself - your job, your travels, the reason you were in Seoul. He listens to them with rapt attention throwing in appropriate questions without interrupting your flow. He gives the right amount of sympathy; just enough to show that he understands why you have three sets of nightwear and a futon in your office, but not too much where it seems like you should “take a break” and “think about the joys of motherhood” - as you are often told. 

During the conversation, you digress a little to take in his slight features. The apple of his cheeks, in full display, when he tells you about how he pranked his members. The light pout of his lips when he talks about the times their path seemed too far-fetched, when every single obstacle felt like the end of their career. The stars in his eyes when he speaks of how he feels during tours, meeting the endless number of fans, the drive that keeps him going. They all make an endearing package. Eager to please, you kept the conversation going with gusto. The meal is followed by a snack break, after which you had effectively exhausted all conversation topics that could be brought up with near-strangers.

A quick alcohol break later, (yes, you caved, the catalyst was welcome) you both doze off, seemingly exhausted from recollecting respective timetables. He wakes up soon after to play video games and talk to the other members. But you fall into a deep slumber, with an Angel’s chuckles in the background guiding you through the sleep. 

Jungkook wakes up to see his character dead. The video game was forgotten after his conversation with you began. 

He spent an inordinate amount of time talking to you. And now that you’re asleep, he is only thinking about how much he enjoyed the conversation. Jungkook is not a speaker. His introversion leaves much to be desired in that department. Most of the time, his members cover for him, play the role of dutiful wingmen, and introduce him to their friends. And still, it took him a long time to talk freely.

But something about you made him open up.

Maybe it was the way you listened to him, lips slightly parted when you were absorbing every single word he let out. Maybe it was the questions you asked, treading lightly and skirting any personal questions. Maybe it was the fact that you pretended to not know him at first, mindful of his privacy. The butterflies in him could be explained by this.

But.

It could also be how graceful you looked, even though you’re dressed in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. It could be how you carried yourself, with great elegance and poise, even though your work was taxing. It could also be your toe socks, and your glee when he showed you his.

Your personality is infectious. He already misses you, despite you being inches away, desperately wants to exhaust every second of this journey engrossed in you. 

He wonders if you feel that way too.

Speaking of whom-

A snicker escapes his lips when he turns to face you. 

In your sleepy haze, Jungkook sees that a) your mouth is wide open, b) your hands mindlessly fiddle with the reams of pages on your lap, and c) your eyes scrunch as sunlight pierces through the flight to bounce off your face. Cute, he muses, trying to locate the source of the criminal rays irking you. 

The window letting the sunbeam in is beside an old man sitting on the other end. He is eyeing the magazine in his hands with abject disapproval, like the booklet had sullied him and his family. 

Gathering up the courage, Jungkook calls out for the man.

“Excuse me, sir. Do you mind pulling the window shade?” He asks, in the sweetest voice that his hyungs would melt at first listen. 

Puppy eyes are met with the geezer’s piercing glare, making Jungkook wonder if he accidentally said something strikingly offensive instead of what he thought he said. About to backtrack his words and try again, he gets interrupted by the man letting out a big grunt, after which he continues in his endeavor to telepathically set fire to the magazine. He does not forget to give a nasty side-eye but completely refuses to comply with Jungkook’s request. 

“And my team thinks my glares are spooky.” You pique, having witnessed the whole interaction, “I ought to have him on board”. Jungkook snorts, and you take that to be his agreement. 

Pausing, you throw caution in the wind and add, “Thank you though, that was very sweet of you.”

He eyes you demurely. “No problem, you looked like you needed the rest.” 

“Listen, I-”

“So I was think-”

Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at the Incheon International airport. Please ensure your backpacks and suitcases are stowed away in the overhead compartments or underneath the seats ahead of you. The flight attendants are currently passing around the cabin to make a final compliance check and pick up any remaining cups and glasses. Thank you.

High-quality curses almost make it to heaven (speakers). The announcement dissipates all the courage you had mustered, feeling a rush exit your body. You had almost asked for his contact - and by the looks of it, he had wanted it too. Or maybe your hair is a rat's nest and he was just going to point that out. Guess you will never know.

You shyly smile at each other before going about following the instructions. Your half-read document gets stuffed back into its bag, to be read once you have no distractions in the form of eye candy armed with saccharine speech. Well, you have Jake to distract you plenty, but you can shoo him away by threatening his paycheck. 

As the flight descends, you look over to your neighbor - one last time, you guess - and surprisingly lock eyes with him. Anything that had exited you comes rushing back, veins in full alertness. A moment’s awkwardness later you both burst out laughing, each doing their best to hide their crimson cheeks. You find one more online fact to be true - Jungkook’s peak happiness laughter, eye crinkle and nose scrunch, can melt your whole entire heart. 

“Hey mami, come here often?”

“For the last time Jake, I will not hesitate to donate your bones for science.”

“Well, I heard bone, it's already a win for me.”

You let out a sigh of exasperation. There is no reforming him. 

“How was the flight?” Jake questions as you approach the baggage belt. Looking out for your somber black suitcase, you try to play it off like you did not spend the whole time in the company of a stranger who is on the fast track to your heart.

“The usual. Sleep, eat, read needlessly printed out documents that could have been shoved into on email, repeat. What about you?”

As Jake starts an account of his flight experience in exorbitant detail, you took the opportunity to try and find your ride. Once you locate it and get in, you catch the end of his sermon. 

“-and the name of the book will be ‘How to manage a farm - ‘cause chicks gon’ be crazy!’. What do you think?”

“I think it was a good idea I chose to zone out.”

“Y/N come on! It’s a self-help book for poor souls born without my raw charisma. Men and women out there want me, but I can’t satisfy them all. I will just resort to making more of me! It will have pointers, DIY’s and pick-up lines crafted by yours truly - wanna hear one?”

You throw your bag in front and turn to him. “Do I have a choice? Go ahead.”

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he starts. “Am I cute? Squish my cheeks. Am I hot? Clap my cheeks.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Points for creativity. You’ll still get wine splashed at you.”

Jake was not one to give up. “‘It’s good we don’t need eye condoms, or you’d be on your way to delivery.’”

“Just… don’t have kids, okay? This gene must be stopped, right here.”

“Okay, this one is my all-time favorite. ‘Rack so big, I don’t motorboat, I motorship.’”

That’s it. The guffaw itching you since the start of this conversation is out of its cages, populating the air in the car. Wiping stray tears from your face, you face Jake, seeming very pleased with himself. Undoubtedly, he is coming up with absurd scenarios to ease your nerves. No book is in the works (one could only hope).

“Thank you, I feel much better now. You can stop coming up with these.”

The goof has the gall to look appalled. “I was going to cut you ten percent of my book commission but I guess that’s out. Hmph.”

“I’m at the receiving end of all these pick-up lines. I should make twenty at least for all the nuisance I’ve put up with.” 

“All right mami, we’ll shelve this for later. Here’s the schedule for today. You have a 10 a.m. breakfast meeting with Dr. Park Shin Young, Lead Research Scientist of the project. Then you have a bunch of seminars to attend, which will go on all afternoon. There’s a bar right beside this venue.”

“How is that pertinent?”

“So you know where to find me.” He continues, unperturbed. “After which there’s an evening meeting with the whole team to demonstrate the product and a marketing meeting right after.”

“Am I required for the marketing meeting?” Your expertise is limited to the technical field. PR work isn’t your cup of tea, but they stubbornly demand your presence. 

Jake exhales. “We’ve been through this. You CAN doze off during the meeting, but you have to be there. Just pretend you’re a college student, sitting in one class, completing assignments for another.”

“But if I’m there I feel the need to pay attention.” you whine.

“Clearly you weren’t one of those college students,” Jake says, perusing through his diary, “Stop being a pedant and do one of those things people do. Loving their jobs and whatnot.”

Before you can retort a reply, the driver pulls up to your destination and you exit the car. 

Eleven at night is when you finally check in to the hotel. The tedious day warrants your heels coming off before you even reach your floor. There’s an irritant drumming, from the balls of your feet right up to your temples, that beg for your attention. Setting your footwear on your bags, you massage your feet for temporary relief as the lift took you closer to a more permanent one.

Once your suitcase gets parked in the closet, you head to the bathroom to soak your day away with the bath bomb kit you were gifted in one of the seminars. The ball fizzles as soon as it hits the water, dispersing in tiny bubbles and a heady aroma of vanilla and lavender. The soft amber tones of the walls, the lambent gold lighting, and the ambrosial air put all your senses at ease. You sink in; the bathwater permeating warmth through your skin. Crackling bubbles with every move; the water teases your neck, soothing the laceration with every lick. Every pulse point on you is enhanced - you let yourself float wherever your mind takes you. 

A familiar face makes its presence known. You allow yourself to think about him, after pushing his visage away all day. Something about him… felt like home. Soothing, comforting, always speaking in dulcet tones unless something humorous pulled out a loud laugh. Even that wasn’t jarring; it was the exact opposite. Felt like sunshine filled your lungs every time he cracked up. Made you want to keep talking to him, keep him amused and entertained. You can’t imagine he converses with every stranger like that. 

But maybe he did; maybe this is some unspoken celebrity culture you were unaware of. 

All you know is that this was a once in a lifetime experience. There’s no way you are encountering another personage ever again. There’s no way you’re encountering him again. Luck can only thrive so far. 

So when you exit the bathroom, clad in a towel, remnant bathwater dripping from every end, the last thing you expect is Jungkook, spread out on the bed, casually flipping through his phone like it’s his own abode. 

“J-Jungkook?”

Y/N. In his room. In a towel. Dripping wet hair. Emanating a delectable aroma. 

Y/N. In person.

He is dreaming. He has to be. He's been thinking of you ever since the flight, so now he is delusional. Nothing else. There’s absolutely no chance that you’re in his room, let alone… like this. 

Right?

“What are you… what are you doing in my room?”

Wrong. 

Jungkook knows he should say something. He should not be gawking at you like he is doing now. But God. You look so pretty, eyebrows arched up in confusion, jaw about to be unhinged, hands fluttering around not knowing what to do. 

He forces his body to action.

"Y/N!" He exclaims, finally averting his eyes to face the wall. 

Pause.

"Wait, what do you mean MY room? This is my room!"

You’re baffled. "Huh? How is that possible? This was given to me!" 

“I really don’t know, Y/N, there must have been some confusion! Please, you have to believe me!” 

Jungkook wants to turn around and face you. He desperately wants to clear the air. He can see that this looks bad. He obviously looks like an enamored creep, waltzing into your space. You probably think he does this all the time. Many a time people have misunderstood him, his celebrity status not earning him many points. You must think the same.

And now you’re going to tell him to get out and never see you again, he hypothesizes. His brain is working overtime trying to remedy the situation, without noticing your now relaxing demeanor. 

“Oh, okay.”

“I’ll fix this, I’ll go to the reception and fix this. You don’t worry, I didn’t see anything, you can trust me, I’ll go an-”

“Hey, hey,” your tone gentle, “it’s okay, trust me. Just, let me get dressed and I’ll come down with you.”

Your soothing response almost has Jungkook on his knees. Whoever orchestrated this meet, he is just thankful for this good turn. Anyone else would go berserk, and rightfully so. 

But you’re not anyone else. 

He isn’t just anyone.  

Technically, he isn’t a stranger, you try to justify. You should have been more shocked, enraged, or at least doubtful of his intentions. But you weren’t. You had accepted his explanation, let him stay in your room while you changed in the bathroom, and now are en-route to the main desk to rectify this error.

The air around you two is strained; he won’t even look you in the eye. Any question you have is replied to concisely, leaving no room for a chat. Nothing to disperse the tension between you two. 

Like now, in the elevator, Jungkook has done the math and maintains the maximum distance between you. Opposite ends of the diagonal of this lift, his peripheral vision probably barely picks you up. However, his evasion helps in a way--you are able to study his full form.

He is dressed casually, and any lesser man would have seemed casual enough. On him, it is a whole new game. Ripped jeans hugging his sturdy legs, the slashed fabric allowing you a peek of his dangerous thighs. A plain white t-shirt tucked in to show off his lean waistline. The only thing holding you back from having a full-blown wet dream, wide awake, is his chestnut overcoat, saving his modesty and yours. 

Jake was right, eye condoms are the need of the century. 

To be fair, Jungkook had the worse end. He saw you scantily clad, post-bath glow and everything. You wonder what is going through his mind. 

Definitely nothing like the debauchery unfolding in yours. 

He has probably seen his fair share of women, and one hot to trot lady isn’t anything new. If anything, him dodging you is a sign of his civility, something you are lacking apparently--ready to jump his bones.

Stop thinking about his thighs, you whore. Get back home and trusty old Vlad the Impaler will take care of you.

The employee’s jaw almost hits the desk as Jungkook explains the situation. 

“Ma’am, Sir, we are extremely sorry about this confusion. We usually keep another key for family members, but somehow you got them both. We are deeply apologetic.”

“Yes, it’s okay, I’d just like my room key now and-”

“We will give you the best of our service to make up for this disorder. Not that we didn’t plan on giving you the best anyway, but now it will be top-notch! Please allow us to have your room cleaned again ma’am. Kyuyoung-ah! Get the people to prep 5338 and set 5337 again, and add more flowers!”

“Hey, that really won’t be necessary, we can just go back and forget about all thi-”

“And!” She continues, relentless, fully intent on doing her job, “Here are coupons for our round the clock pub! The ambiance is phenomenal, and our bartender makes a mean drink! You can use the facility for free during your stay. Hope this compensates for our gaffe. Once again, we are extremely sorry!”

She extends two passport-sized coupons that you hurriedly grab, wanting this quandary to end. 

The walk back to the elevator is less tight-lipped, only because Jungkook starts his deluge of apologies. Even though you had felt the same way on the flight, he was going overboard. You quickly assuage him and deflect his concerns.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. It really is. I know it was a mistake.”

“I know, but I shouldn’t have just walked in like that. I should have checked.”

Your expression is the visual form of a question mark. 

“Do you go around making sure your hotel room doesn’t have a surprise occupant?”

You’re taking this too lightly; it's obvious you are doing it for him. He can only laugh, broad delicious shoulders loosening in relief.

After a delay, you add, “You can’t help it if fate wants us crossing paths like this.” 

The quip makes Jungkook lose a beat. He cocks a brow in surprise - at that juncture, his features lose all boyish charm and turn unquestionably irresistible. 

Then, in a flash, the expression is replaced by his usual grin, back to his boy-next-door spirit. Are there world records for this speed? Jungkook needs to sign up to one.

Collecting the stars floating around your head, you return the favor, thankful that the barrier is now broken. 

After a quick break of courage gathering, you turn to him. “How come you’re staying in this hotel? Thought you’d be home.”

A thought is building in your mind; that this is too personal a question. But before you can take it back, you hear a chime. Jungkook moves. And somehow, you are moving with him. 

The elevator door opens, and people walk out. 

But that’s not where your attention is. 

You are focused on the sole patch of your body in contact with Jungkook’s arm. 

The palm of his hand sitting at the small of your waist is what had guided you away from the elevator. Even through the fabric of your t-shirt, his hand is sending goosebumps all over your body. The air feels twenty degrees too hot for you.

Jungkook is simply being his chivalrous self, while you are ready to get arrested for public nudity.

Woman, you are a disgrace. Get laid.

Jungkook will high five himself once he gets to his pad. 

Is it right to get so euphoric about the smallest act of intimacy? That too with a near stranger? He has no answer. You are special to him; that much he knows. And someone up there agrees with him as well, letting him run into you again (albeit under crude circumstances; he’ll take what he gets). In this proximity, he can hear the slight gasp that escapes you once you recognize his hold, feel your muscles tense, smell the flowery fragrance you still carry. The fragrance that takes his mind on a rewind routine; one he forces to a halt. He feels lewd for taking pleasure in that misfortune, but he can take pleasure in the present. 

Entering the elevator, Jungkook has taken note of one thing: the roles have been reversed. On the downward voyage, it had been him avoiding you. Now, even with the closeness, you refuse to meet his eye. Something on the carpeted floor has your unrelenting attention. Letting his gaze dip to you, he bit back a smirk. Good to know you are as affected by him as he is by you.

“It’s a shoot.” 

You relent, looking up to him. “Huh?”

“You asked me why I’m here, it’s a shoot. The site is close by, so we don’t waste time traveling. Once the shoot is done, we will get back home.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” 

You beg your grey matter to find some topic of conversation to halt the blood rushing to your cheeks. The atmosphere is frozen again, but not like last time. Any unease earlier present has drifted. The tension that once kept you from closeness now keeps you from moving apart. His hand sits unmoved, continuing to rest on your hip. Jungkook can hear the loud thudding of a heartbeat, but he cannot discern whether they are from his heart or from yours.

Continuing after a pause, “I will be here for a few days now.” he adds, the suggestive hint of the words masked by his innocuous smile. 

“Ah.” You lamely add. You ought to kick yourself - but at this closeness, you might hit him too. 

The span of your separation is contracting, even though none of you move. Like the land underneath you is shifting, because even Mother Earth can’t handle the sexual tension in this confined space. 

“Ma’am, Sir, you’re here!” 

The booming voice of an employee disrupts the scene. You jump, wondering how you didn’t hear the door open, while Jungkook takes a graceful step back unscathed. 

“Your rooms are ready, please follow me.”

The walk back is quiet, except for bashfully exchanged glances and racing pulses. When you finally reach your respective rooms, he speaks again. 

“Want to accidentally cross paths with me at the bar?”

The heat reaches your ears. A moment of silence prompts you to look up, and you are held hostage by his eyes. His gaze flickers, intense and probing. Then, as if it never happened, his eyes narrow and his smile softens, harmless and easy. Again, this has to be witchcraft.

“Maybe we’ll let destiny decide. Hasn’t failed us so far.” 

Now, alone in bed with nothing but your thoughts, you wonder when it will ever happen again.

Three days. Three days before it happens again.

Three days filled with conferences, a ton of files, and a lot of battery acid disguised as coffee. Apart from the success of your work, the highlight of your time is when Jake tried to fix his shoe heel at a meeting and ended up gluing his fingers together. In a quiet room filled with immersed employees, he had yelled, “Superglue, my ass!”. 

The punctuation was not vocalized. 

Tonight was your last night in Seoul. It was supposed to be a night to yourself, but an office party pulled you out of your cavern to get dressed. You put on an elegant dress, a black and silver number, only to find the ‘party’ was the most monotonous excuse of networking. High-end businessmen exchanging cards over non-alcoholic fizz was not your idea of a party, so you quickly excused yourself. 

The coupon still weighed heavy in your purse, carrying memoirs of the last time you saw him. You had wanted to go earlier, but always held yourself back. What if he wasn’t there? What if you missed your chance? Why did you have to sashay away with a cool statement that night instead of clawing your way through the lust-filled air and settling things then and there? 

You supposed a drink at the hotel bar on your last night couldn’t be a bad thing, even if Jungkook didn’t show up.

So here you are, sipping on your wine and trying to appear nonchalant as you look out the window overseeing the city’s skyline. One ear is trained to the door of the pub, the slightest peep from that corner alerting your antenna. 

So far, no sign of him. 

This won’t work, you tell yourself. Second time’s a charm, third time’s pushing it too far. 

But as you wave the bartender to top up your drink, the corner of your eye catches movement; one, two, three heads appear through the door. Signature multichromatic mops of hair make their way in, forcing your pulse to marathon mode. 

And then you hear it. 

You hear his trademark cachinnate echoing through the structure. Multitudes of contrasting sentiments fill your gut. Are you sensing relief, that fate served its purpose without fail? Or is it the anticipation of how events will unfold? A sense of titillation, that a three-day old bond makes you feel more than year-old relationships you’ve had? You pry your eyes from that direction, trying to appear aloof when you are anything but. 

When you think you’ve gathered your composure, you look up. Like a hare falling for its bait, you are trapped, because he is looking right back at you.

Jin and Jimin are laughing about something that happened on set today, but Jungkook only has eyes for you. He can’t believe his luck. 

The past few days, his schedule had no give. After every shoot, the only thing he remembered was taking off his shoes and falling into a deep slumber.

So today when the shoot wrapped up earlier, Jungkook grabbed his trusty wingmen and open bar enthusiasts to utilize his coupon, and possibly test his kismet.

“Wasn’t she on our flight?” Jin observes, tracking Jungkook’s sight. 

“Oh yeah! Dude, is she the one?” Jimin keenly notes. “How do you keep bumping into each other like this?”

Jungkook downs his whisky, the burn felt from the throat to his diaphragm. “I don’t know, hyung. I don’t know what to do.” Beckoning the bartender for a refill, he tears away from your sight. 

 “Okay, liquid fortification is all good but how about,” Jin stops briefly to pluck the coupon out of Jungkook’s hands, “we handle the drinks department while you attend to her?”

Jimin nods in assent. “The worst thing you could do is spend time with her slurring and garbling while she ditches your sorry ass.”

“Hey! I won’t do that. Just, ” Jungkook gulps, “I don’t know... We’ve met like, hardly a few times. It really doesn’t make sense. What if we’re not on the same page?”

Jimin frowns, and even Jin seems unhappy with his reasoning.

“Things don’t have to make sense. You’re two consenting adults. You like her. By the way she’s eyeing you right now, I’m sure the feeling is mutual. You said it’s easy to talk to her right?”

Jungkook pouts, but sees his point.

“Then go with that. Don’t chart out a plan, just go with your heart.” Jin adopts a soft smile of encouragement. 

“Meanwhile we will grab the others and exploit this coupon to the full extent!” Jimin gleefully appends.

Jungkook’s eyes crinkle as he laughs with the other two. They are right. Carpe diem, right?

Finding you again, his breath hitches. You look beautiful. The sleek black dress with silver embellishments over the torso. It hugs you in the right places, accentuating your already alluring frame. Your shoulders bare, elegant collarbones waiting to be tasted. Hair tied up, exposing the delicious curve of your neck, a stretch Jungkook wants to pepper kisses onto, without missing a spot. You look exquisite against the backdrop of the night.

Carpe noctem it is. 

“Did you really dress up to use the coupon?” The tongue-in-cheek query breaking your line of thought.

A breathy chuckle leaves your lips, hopefully masking the frenzy in your heart. 

“I had a party. A very dull party. Figured I preferred my own company over that.” 

“Do you prefer your own company over mine?”

He’s still standing, tall frame waiting for your permission to occupy the next seat. God, he looks amazing.

“Not at all.” The words leave huskier than you intend, but they convey the message.

He takes the seat, a mere step away, his cologne wafting over to your side. The alcohol buzz makes the scent feel stronger, every bone in you wanting to dive in nose-first. 

Apparently you have been staring, because he nervously chuckles “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Should you go the modest route or fuck it?

Fuck it.

“You look... great today,” is all you get out. Stupid brain spewing half-baked goods.

Understatement of the year. He looks like sin incarnate. All black attire highlighting his golden skin, the dichotomy of his whole look has you understandably tongue-tied. Black jeans - no rips, sadly- with a dark grey high-neck t-shirt, tucked in of course, because pain is the only constant for you. A black trench coat is thrown on top to seal the look. The obsidian outfit sends desperate need through your body, an intense desire to rip it all off surging through you. Somehow, through all these layers you can sense his fit body, his rippled muscles, his sturdy pecs, like they have an aura of their own. 

“Ah, thank you. You look amazing as well.” Halting a moment to sip his drink, he resumes.  “Sucks that you dressed up for nothing.”

“Well, you liked it. So it's not for nothing.”

If looks were potent, Jungkook’s own could set you on fire. Gaze coolly raking over your figure, the tick in his jaw betrays his reaction. A chill passes through every part of your body under his intense scrutiny.

“Are there other things you would wear… if I liked it?” He carefully treads.

“There are certain things I’m wearing right now that I’m sure you would appreciate.” 

If not for the shrinking distance between you two, you couldn’t have caught the low hiss. His animalistic need, usually kept well under control, is raging against its bonds, screaming to let go. Your exquisite gown, flowing down your curves, accentuating the swell of your ass - God save this dress from his feral hands. Against his will, he restrains himself. He would make this a lasting encounter. 

“How many drinks have you had?” He needs you to remember every single moment.

“Two glasses of wine, don’t worry. You?” 

“A shot of whisky, that’s all. Haven’t even finished my second drink.”

Gone were his cherubic appearance and dimpled smiles; the man in front of you is oozing pure sex appeal. His clenched jawline, furrowed brow, and perfectly placed tresses add to his raw masculinity. The cusp of your thighs is damp; if this is his effect here, what will it be behind locked doors? You wonder whether this is the same man that gushed about old-era video games in the flight. 

“Well, if you are wearing them for me, I’d be a fool to miss them.” he brings you back to the present. Twinkling eyes match your eager ones as you give a small nod.

Every step you take shoots a thrilling tingle through your spine. Every inch of distance closed forces you to close the next with doubled speed. Every foot forward adds to the thick air, laced with hunger, desire, and an inordinate amount of trust placed in the hands of a stranger. 

The first time you two walked back to the elevator, his move had caught you unaware. 

Now, the arm wraps around your entire waist, body flush against his, yet you yearn to get closer. 

Last time, you couldn’t match his gaze, skin burnt a crimson hue. 

Now, your eyes are locked together, any movement in your surroundings be damned.

Michael Jackson rising from the dead and performing Thriller wouldn’t tear you away from your current view (sorry MJ, maybe next time).

When the doors close, he places a palm on your bare back, bringing you to his chest.

“I’ve wanted this so bad, ever since I met you. It’s insane.”

The hand caressing your back makes you sigh. “Not if I wanted the same.”

His grip tightens. “The things I want to do to you...” eyes searching yours, ”tell me you can handle it.”

“Oh baby,” you drawl, “I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever it is,” your lips hover on his, “I can take it.”

The elevator doors opened too soon for your liking, and Jungkook drags you through the corridor. You’re practically hanging on to him, feet barely responsive, the faint buzz of wine making you giddy. His hawkish gaze soaks in everything you do, memorizing every response to his touch. 

You lean over to lay wet kisses on his neck. Pleasure searing through his veins, Jungkook’s knees almost buckle. He pushes you against a wall and locks you in with his form.

“Uh-uh-uh, honey,” he tsks, “you’re not making this easy on me?”

You pretend to ponder. “Well, I didn’t plan on making it easy.”

He smirks, all sex, and the wetness between your legs is making its presence known. Leaning into your ear, he whispers, “Unless you want me to have my way with you right here…” and all your brattiness dissipates. 

Satisfied, he grins. “Your place or mine?” 

“Hmmn, depends.”

He cocks a brow. “On?”

“Am I gonna be able to walk tomorrow?”

That damned smirk. “Your place it is.”

Jungkook’s lips are on yours the moment your door is locked. He cages you against its frame, teeth clashing and biting anything they find. You let your hands roam all over, searching for something to hold on to. A throaty sound leaves Jungkook when your digits card through his hair and tug on it, a sound you gladly swallow.

Time seems to have taken a break. Your thoughts are blank. You chase the kiss like it's the only thing you know, the only thing you’re born to do, your sole mission in life before you die. The bruising pace Jungkook set is eagerly matched by you. Gravity is slowly losing its meaning, and you’re nothing but a stray entity floating in space. And this kiss is your only source of air. 

Jungkook pulls you towards him, closing the nonexistent distance between you. Heat rises from his chest, the feeling is hypnotic beyond reason. A taste of you has ruined every other flavor. He kept his eyes half-open, sneaking peeks at your flushed face whenever you come for air. His fingers explored your body, grabbing your ass and pulling you into him. Your clothed crevice jolts at the friction, hips hounding for more.

The moan that leaves you gets muted, because Jungkook takes this opportunity to take control. Tongue forcing its way in to explore every corner of your mouth, it melds with your own muscle. If this were a dance, it would be a fierce tango, oozing with sexual tension. Breathing is now trivial, this kiss is imperative. 

Jungkook’s hands grab your hips and twirl you, both of you now facing a full-length mirror. You can witness your neckline being abused, mulberry blossoms left in place. The sight has your sex clenching, and lips liberated, you couldn’t stop yourself from mewling.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m going to make you scream so loud, the hotel reception will hear you.”

With your head spinning in lust, you try to form your words right. “An- And what? Discuss how a second room for you was - oh god - was useless?” 

Jungkook pauses to admire his craft; your neck, shoulders, and collar are now littered with bruises, like a garden of hyacinth at his disposal. The view is maddening, your lusty gaze locked on to him in the mirror. His mane is tousled, no doubt your handiwork, and his hand is tracing the outline of your dress. 

“That cursed day,” He chokes out, “You were so fucking hard to resist you know?”

You turn back to face him, hand reaching back to undo your halter neck, “You have me now.” Stepping back, you let your gown fall.

He froze. You are standing in front of him, robed in only your black lace-embroidered strapless bra, and matching panties, each adorned with a white bow. The swell of your breasts barely caged in the cups, making Jungkook drool at sight. All the wind was knocked out of his lungs; you look like a prisoner’s last meal, waiting to be devoured. 

“On your knees.” he commands.  

Not a second is put to waste. You begin undressing him, unbuckling the pants and aggressively pulling them down. Next come the boxers, and you are faced with-

Wow.

You mean this in the nicest way, but, what a dick.

He is already hard, the mushroomed tip angry and red, leaking a drop of precum begging to be tasted. The girth exceeds your expectation, already visualizing the delicious visual of your cunt stretched thin. He is going to reach places even Vlad the Impaler couldn’t; you are already brimming with anticipation for the final act.

And his thighs. Nothing angelic about them. Taut. Muscular. Sinewy. Something uncivilized in you wants them to trap your frame between them, caging you, pinning you down. You press kisses on his inner thigh, letting your tongue poke out when you hear him exhale. A sharp bite shocks Jungkook, but you only smirk.

“Wanted to do that since I saw you.” 

The stare that meets you is practically challenging you to try that again, and perhaps reap some delicious consequences.

You bring yourself back, giving his cock the full attention that it deserves. Looking up, you see his half-lidded eyes, assertive and arresting, compelling you to go on. 

You bring your palm up to him. He raised a brow in question.

“Spit for me.”

Jungkook almost busts his load when he hears you. “Fuck, so dirty.” he garbles out. Rolling his neck in an attempt to divert his blood, he takes your hand and drops a thick glob at the center of your palm. 

A throaty moan arises from you, and his dick is harder than ever.

“Go on baby, show me you can suck dick like a champ.”

You give him a confident look; you’re about to rock his world. Starting with small licks, you tease the slit and taste the pre-cum lodged in it. Meanwhile, you work the spit along the shaft; you spit on it again, the original amount insufficient to cover the length. You can feel his dick twitching against your attention, eager to be sheathed. Interspersing with some long drags on the underside, you zero in on the pinched skin under the head. 

Jungkook is staring at your jerking him off. The sight of you, clad in lingerie is blowing his mind. If that was not enough, the mirror in front is providing a sumptuous secondary perspective. The smooth stretch of your back, the swell of your ass, the panty fabric barely able to cover the expanse, everything on you is making him short circuit. Seeing you on your knees, your deferential nature stirs something in him. If he doesn’t control himself, he will bend you in half and ride you to sunrise. He doesn’t want to scare you, but fuck, his depraved early man instincts are telling him otherwise. 

“What are you- ohhh, holy shi-”

Instead of slipping his cock fully into your mouth, you hold it up, and pay careful attention to his balls. Jungkook’s hands come to rest on your head, a telltale sign of his unraveling. With a smile, you let your tongue swipe through every nook and corner till they are coated in saliva.

“You think you’re such a fucking tease, ” He grabs you by your now unraveled tresses and pulls you back, “Ease up baby, your throat is in for a treat.”

In one quick swoop, he lodges himself at the base of your throat, provoking your gag reflex, but you restrain the urge to pull back. Breathing through your nose, you suck and swallow whatever you can; his girth isn't giving you much to work with.

Jungkook growls. “Such a tight fit. Like you’re meant to be like this. Forever.”

The last word slips out unwittingly. 

Alarmed, his eyes flit down to gauge your response, but all you are doing is looking back at him. 

Fuck, your dovelike eyes are captivating. They look so angelic, a complete contrast to the perverse posture you are in. Not an ounce of displeasure in response to his words. Pure, unadulterated affection for him. Only for him. 

“God, you’re going to be the death of me.” Jungkook husks. “You’ll do anything for me, you said?”

Muffled whimpers impart your compliance, and you bob your head up and down for good measure. The tip of his cock hits every ridge of your throat, the vibration releasing more fluid down.

“Pleasure yourself, baby. Touch yourself, but don’t you cum.”

Your brow distresses further, a disgruntled whine leaving you and reverberating around him. Already so turned on, the lightest friction would make you combust.

Jungkook’s teeth clench. “Edge yourself for me, sweetie.” 

It's like your body is tuned to his command. Slipping two fingers under the band, you part and slide them on either side of your throbbing nub. Despite you avoiding any pressure point that might push you over the edge, the pleasure threatens to tip you over. 

You look over for his approval. Swallowing, he nods. Your self-stimulation is making him dizzy. It's time to get serious.

“Such a good girl. Don’t stop, okay? I’m going to fuck your throat raw.” Starting with mellow jerks, “Hope you don’t have to speak anytime tomorrow.” he rasps.

The carpeted floor grazing your knees only adds to the revelry. You’re not in control of yourself anymore. The back of your gullet is aching as Jungkook shoves into you again and again. An amalgamation of his salty juices and your dribble lewdly coats your chin and neck; you must look ravished. Everything with Jungkook feels augmented; every single motion of his making your sex clench. 

He is close - you can feel his grip on your hair tightening. 

“Can I cum on you?” words slither through his clamped teeth. You frantically nod. 

With a loud grunt, he pulls you off and releases all over your chest, a stray pump landing on your chin. Thick liquid, dripping from your jaw onto your collarbones and breasts, the whole scene is filthy good. Your unfilled cunt is aching to be replete with the cum. 

Post-orgasmic glow is dazzling on him--hair drenched in sweat, tufts sticking to his forehead. His breathing is heavy and resonant as dilated pupils take in your soaked state. Bending down, he crooks a finger under your chin, anchoring his attention on your dewy stare. The onyx embers in his eyes bore into yours, studying for any hesitation in them. A microscopic moment of tenderness, unspoken words exchange between you. 

Satisfied to find only searing hunger, his digits collect the beads of cum on your jaw, pushing them back into your mouth. Your eyes roll skyward, relishing the briny taste, nearly asking him to do it again. Leaning further, he grabs the wrist of your hand that is thoughtlessly rubbing your sex - you didn’t even realize you were still doing it. You feel drained, like you orgasmed vicariously through him. 

“My turn.” He wears a devilish expression on his archangel eyes.

Lips connect once again as he pulls you up. If he tastes himself, he is relishing it, with his tongue exploring the deep cavern. With wobbly ankles, you let him guide you to your bed, dropping on your back. He follows you, pouncing on you, plunging into your mouth again like a beast hungered. Bodies melting together like an icicle under the summer blaze, your hands hunt to frisk his skin. Realizing he is yet to undress, you yank at this t-shirt, attempting to liberate him from the offending fabric.

“Tsk, greedy.” he bit your ear, soothing the sting with a kiss. 

“Cruel is what it is.” You huff, like everything he’s doing is not a blissful affair. 

How do men do that? Violently ripping their shirt off and leaving a messy mop of hair in its wake, nevertheless looking like they could walk a runway the next instant. Jungkook was no exception. The moment he pulls his shirt off, you are rendered speechless.

Chiseled chest like the work of an artisan. Droplets of sweat race down the paths traced by the sculpted abs, an intense desire to taste them forming in you. He is a mesomorphic dream who puts Greek gods to shame. Swallowing, you let your hand trace the outline of his pecks, feeling him shudder against your touch.

“Jungkook, please.”

Who was he to deny you?

Leaning up to you with a wicked smirk, Jungkook drops a thick line of spit right on your hardened nipple. The concoction of his cum and spit soaks through the lacy material. A lone finger circles, avoiding the spot that requires the most attention. You arch your back, begging him for more, just more of anything. The wet fabric amplifies the emptiness in your cunt. 

“Aww,” he coos, clearly amused by your neediness, “undo this for me, sweetness. Let me see you.”

Moving at lightning speed, you unhook the bra, swinging it away to a corner of the room. 

“Oh no.” He mock-frowns, veins bulging on his arm as he controls himself. “Look at these tits, fuck.” Mind reeling with ideas, filthy ideas, of all the things he wants to do to you. “You’ve ruined everything else for me.”

You tremble. “Good, so have you. Want you for myself. Want you,” pulling him close, “to do your worst.” you end with a whisper.

Jungkook’s jaw tightens. “Careful what you ask for,” he grits before diving headfirst into your bosom. 

He licks and laves and bites and laps--your breasts are on fire. Continuing his marking spree, new blemishes make an appearance on your torso. Nibbling on one nipple, he pinches the other; pulling moan after moan from you. 

Your hips barely touch the bed, bucking up in response to Jungkook’s sinking teeth into your ample bust. He has decided to not leave an inch without his saliva, and like a man on a mission, covers every part with rapt attention. 

“Yo- You don’t have to--oh holy fuck--you don’t have to, cover me in marks you kno--ohh my go-” The sentence is spastic, piercing mewls breaking your flow of speech and thought. 

“These fucking tits,” roughly clasping your pert breast in his large palm, “they look so much better like this.” The proud smile he shows has not the slightest hint of regret. 

Catching a break, he twiddles your nipples, letting his other hand sit on your covered sex. He is teasing you; you recognize that. Just giving you opportunities to disobey, to take all the pain he has to offer.

It’s a good thing you like the pain.

You slowly roll your hips, trying to grind against his palm, taking whatever help you can get.

A sharp smack lands on your clit, shooting your eyes open - you don’t even know when they closed. Jungkook’s hand is soothing the site of the blow, the pain converting to pleasure under his touch. 

“Patience, sweetness,” the gravely whisper sending tingles down your spine, “such a good girl for me.”

You give him a slight nod - he smacks you again, once, twice, thrice, without a break. Your entrance is smarting, but you want to give him everything. Biting your lips to stop the labored moans escaping, you clench your eyes and savor the burn.

Your show of obedience has Jungkook’s heart thronging. Fuck, he was enjoying toying with you. Playing you like a fiddle. You produce every tone he desires in the form of wanton melodies, he wants to play them over and over again like his favorite song.

“How are we doing?” he asks, a shit-eating grin plastered on him. Before you could answer, his fingers shallowly enter your soaked pussy, still hampered by the cloth. 

“You- fuck, you said I was the tease here?” Your hands are at his wrist, begging to pull the scrap of cloth aside and have his way. 

He comes to face your sopping mound, pausing only to speak “Never said I wasn’t,” and starts pressing soft, feathery kisses. “That day, seeing you dripping in that towel, I dreamt of having these legs around me.”

“I swear, at least take it off - oh Jungkoo-”

Without warning, he kneads your ass and pushes you into his face. 

You feel like you’ve been on the edge for hours. The suckle on your engorged clit along with the abrasion of the lace gets you so close. So damn close. So, so clo-

The tightness in your belly finally snaps and you howl, gushing your vat of arousal onto his face. The high was more intense than you had imagined, so high that you wonder if you will ever find your way back to reality. You feel like a rock in space, aimlessly floating in the vast nothingness.

You dimly notice Jungkook toying with the lacy hem of your panties, pulling it back to snap it against your hip. The sting is soon forgotten, along with your panties flung across the bed, as he parks himself back between your legs.

“You smell incredible.” He approves, taking a long whiff of your honeyed center. “Look at you, so messy.” He licks a long stripe along your crease. “Messy girl, I should clean you up.”

“Wait Jungkook-” you oppose, lids heaving in pleasure. “I need you inside me, please. I can’t take -oof”

Gnawing at your sodden folds, he let his nose press against your clit. “You’re so fucking tight, you think you can take me?” He shakes his head. “Gotta stretch you out, gotta make me fit.” He presses his tongue against your nub, feeling it throb in anticipation. “And I think you can give me one more.” He ends, before invading your drenched channel with two fingers. You are putting up with his torments the best you can; walls fluttering against his lips, legs entwined behind Jungkook’s back trapping him between your thighs. 

“Ah! God - I, I can’t-” Your eyes are screwed shut, hands bunching the sheets in your grasp.

His fingers fluctuate between scissoring motions, their lengths opening you up for him and curling inside, fingertips finding the rough patch inside. He adds a third finger, pussy straining to accommodate them all. Your thighs clench in the burn, and he groans into your pussy at the pressure. Increasing the pace, he pumps into you harder and faster, sucking your puffy lips in tandem. 

“Please, please, harder - let me cum - please oh go-” 

“Fuck yeah baby, your pussy is just sucking me in. You like that? You like me shoving into your cunt?”

“Uungh yes yes I love it!”

“Doesn’t it hurt? Or are you such a slut for pain? Tell me, tell me you’re a pain slut.”

“Fuck, Jungkook, don’t you stop- I am! I am a pain slut! Your pain slut!”

“Goood girrrll,” he husks out. Even though he is taking charge, your words are what control him. “Only mine. My pain slut will come for me now.”

A spray of cum ejects out of you, coating Jungkook’s chest and inundating your legs. The coherent part in you recognizes that you just squirted, but the neanderthal side shuts all recognition of anything that is not Jungkook’s cock. Even after two climaxes, you are hungry to get more. More of him. 

If you don’t fuck him now, you will lose your capability to reason. 

Limbs still heavy and reeling from the ravaging, you pick your pieces and drag Jungkook to the headboard. 

“I’m going to ride you.” you declare and straddle him. 

Jungkook is staring fixedly at your still-leaking cunt. Running his tongue over his lower lip, and licking the remnant syrup of your release. You position yourself, letting the drippage fall directly on his erection. He twitches, eyes still feasting on the mess you are making. 

Finding purchase on his shoulders, you lower yourself. Jungkook’s breath staggers as you drag your inner lips along his hard shaft. You repeat this motion till your fluids drip to his balls. 

“Y/N, I swear to God, if you don’t stop with this-”

“You’ll do what?” you challenge, an eyebrow raised in response to his threat. 

He grabs you by your waist, jerking you up before bringing you down on his dick. Your cunt, creamy from his earlier ministrations, gives no resistance to his hardness. His cock twitches inside as you bottom out. Pulling you closer, he bites your lip and tugs at it. 

“I’ll do this.”

A sharp spank makes you clench around him, the supple flesh of your ass ricocheting in response. 

“Go on baby, ride me.” 

The low-grained command sets you in motion. Slowly gyrating your hips, you feel every ridge of this length inside. Jungkook’s grip on your waist tightens, and you’re sure you will see evidence of it tomorrow. Your grasp on his shoulders isn’t faring any better. 

“You’re so tight, fuck, and so wet. Who made you like this, huh?” A second spank punctuating his question.

“Oh God, you-”, you barely manage to recognize your own voice, “You, Jungkook! Only you!” 

“That’s fucking right, only me.” 

Hips snapping, he meets you halfway. Both of you are lost in each other, lewd sounds of your skin slapping and juices quelching barely muffled by your desperate whines and moans of passion. Eyes locked in like magnets, neither of you could look away. 

Jungkook pulls back a little, slapping your jiggling tit. Your sex clenches, and the following slap has you lodging yourself in the crook of his neck, searching for a reprieve. 

“Want some help?”

One swift move and you are on your stomach, face pushed into a pillow, and ass out. A final spank lands right in the middle, and you can feel it pulsate everywhere. He pushes back into your glistening core, taking control of your pleasure and pain. One hand carding through the nape of your neck, pushing you down, the other hand grabbing your waist and setting the pace. The new angle hits deeper, you feel so full. 

“Jungkoo--unghh I need to cum! Need to- umph- cum so bad!” You are wailing at this point, shame lying somewhere near your flung clothes.

“Fuck, babe, me too. Go ahead and play with yourself, nice and slow.”

It takes a few swipes for the tightness in you to detonate. Tears flood your face as you unravel, your orgasm crashing into you like waves of a tsunami. You clench tight, wetness flows out of your hole as Jungkook pumps in and out, chasing his high. 

He comes undone soon after, ropes of his ejaculate filling your insides. He stays in, plugging you as if to not allow any of it out. But as his member softens, he gives in, turning you on your back to meet his face. 

Butterfly-soft kisses are exchanged after the blazing encounter. He asks you if you’re okay between breaths, a tender murmur you almost miss, as if you weren’t screaming your lungs out moments ago. Nuzzling into his neck, you confirm.

A snort disrupts the silence. Looking up, you see Jungkook chuckling.

In response to your cocked eyebrow, he says “Want to talk about what a freak you are?”

“Want to talk about what a hypocrite you are?”

“Hey, you asked me to spit on you!”

You mock-gasp, hand on chest for the extra effect. “My breasts need medical attention after your attention! Freak!” 

Laughter echoes in the room as you two tumble in the blankets, and you feel his release seeping out of you. Turning to him, you pout, “Your mess is leaking out of me.” 

Jungkook gets up to leave the bed, and you expect a wet towel coming your way. 

What you don’t expect is him parting your legs, gunmetal eyes following the rivulets escaping your abused hole. 

“Your cunt smells so good with my cum on it,” he purrs. 

He gathers the escaping thick liquid and pushes it back into your quivering core. 

Jolting with oversensitivity, you try to stall him but he is fingering you with a vengeance. The ache and soreness soon dispel, bringing forth a new wave of ecstasy. His unrelenting stare concentrates on the mix of fluids on his fingers. With a few strokes on your sensitive bundle of nerves and fingers stuffed inside, you come again, legs shivering and pussy overflowing, his juices intermingled with yours. 

You are dazed; you’ve lost track of everything. The room is spinning in front of you and your body feels like lead. All you can manage is to arch your neck, and plead, “No more, you freak.” 

Jungkook giggles, eyes crinkling in good humor. Ah, the duality of this man is a force to reckon with. You can’t believe this is the same man that fucked you into your bed like a primordial beast. There’s no way you can move anytime soon. 

After a clean-up interval, you are wrapped in each other's arms, melting into the embrace. His musky fragrance putting you at ease, you tuck your in the nook of his neck, basking in the aroma. Hands pressed against his broad chest, exuding warmth for you. His hand cradles your head, snuggling in closer till there is no space to cover. Sweet nothings whispered into each other’s lips, tender kisses exchanged in place of the scorching ones that had passed. You drift in and out of your slumber, fearing the sun would ascend too soon and break you apart. 

A dim glow from the other end of the bed wakes you up. On turning you find Jungkook, dressed in his now-wrinkled clothes, seated on the edge. His gaze, pensive. You lay a hand on his thigh.

“Oh, did the light wake you?”

The alarm on his face makes you smile. “No, your absence did.” 

The corners of his mouth turned up, eyeing you with softness. 

“I have an early schedule. I didn’t want to wake you, but, ” he lets his palm rest on yours, “I also didn’t want to leave without it.”

Neither of you know how to walk away from this. The silence is deafening, unuttered sentiments hanging in the still air. Jungkook’s chest is heavy. 

This is insane. He wants to lay you against a bed of flowers, treat you like the delicate petal you bear resemblance to, worship your body till the sun succumbs to your blazing passion. How is he to explain that his heart is beating through his chest for someone he knows for mere days? He rifles through his memories for a similar instance. 

He finds none. 

Maybe you don’t feel the same way. Maybe, you are blissfully unaware of the tumultuous emotions lurching in the pit of his belly. He can’t assume you will echo his lovesick needs, but he can’t let go. 

You inch closer. 

Fervid feelings die hard. He probes your eyes searching for an intensity matching his. 

You let your lips convey the answer.

Passionate as ever, you draw him into the kiss. His lashes flutter against your rosy cheeks. At the moment, there is no dominance in him. Almost like his tongue, dragging across your swollen lips, is healing the brutality of last night. If you pull back, he comes after you; an incessant tug of war no player wants to win. 

“Please Jungkook,” you choke between kisses, “Please tell me this isn’t the last of us.”

He is hovering on top of you, the galaxy in his eyes twinkling at your words. 

“Please, I don’t want this to end.” You continue against his lips. Head versus heart, you fought a losing battle; how were you to stall the inevitable? Fueled, you plunge your tongue into him, determined to make your ardor known. The void of ferocity is filled with slow sensuality; like he is the sole reservoir to quench your thirst. 

“Y/N”, he breathes out, “I feel like I know everything about you and nothing about you at the same time.” Resting your foreheads against one another, he continues. “I’m not about to let fate decide when we cross paths again.”

A grin finds your lips. “Destiny really pulled its weight here, didn’t it?”

He wordlessly nods, not wanting to break the tranquility in place. However, it is short-lived; his phone’s ringer makes sure of it. 

“Yeah, I’ll be right down.” Something the speaker says turns Jungkook scarlet red. “I said I’ll be right there!” he yells before ending the call.

“The members are asking why I wasn’t in my room.” he clarifies, waggling his brows.  You join his laughter, happy to have just the simple moment with him. 

After exchanging numbers (and a photo for keepsake), Jungkook presses one last kiss, lips promising to find each other again. Somehow, you don’t say goodbye. You just stare at his disappearing body, confident that the next encounter is not far. 

Jake is babbling about his night, how he managed to ditch the god-awful party and hang out with some overenthusiastic college-goers who paid for his drinks with their trust fund dough. This is usually the time you ask him if he’s proud of mooching off of children, but today his exaggerated narrative is cracking you up. 

His forehead creases. “What’s up with you today? You haven’t vowed to skin me alive even once.”

“You like it when I threaten bodily harm?”

“I’m kinky like that.”

You just shrug. Erotic images make a fleeting appearance in your mind, but they are interrupted by your flight announcement. 

“Aren’t you glad this is over? You can go back to overworking yourself in your office instead of a hotel!” Jake remarks, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “At least your back won’t break in the travel.”

Thinking over your experience in the city, you confess “Actually, I look forward to returning here.”

A thought slips in, curving your mouth into a smile. You quietly add,

“And yeah, my back was broken all right.”

Thank you for making it to the end! Please do let me know what you think!

[darlingbudsofrae]

Neil Josten Appreciation Post

Foxes Appreciation Series : 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 ||

Alright, let’s just start this by addressing the big elephant in the room: everyone loves Neil Josten. EVERYONE.

If you don’t, you’re lying. 

Okay, first up- I’m glad this is getting addressed more on AFTG tumblr but Neil is literally so much smarter than the fandom gives him credit for.

Like yes, he’s a little dumdum on the social aspect of things (you could argue he kind of has a low EQ but also not really, I would argue that later)

but that doesn’t dismiss that he is smart af and that he can kill you and make it look natural if he wants.

For example, he literally outrun and hid from the mafia for years. Like, that in itself is an obvious point but we often forget that he did this at a very young age.

Like, he was presumably what? 16?? (when Mary kicked the bucket?) And kid was already playing hide and seek pretty well with a freaking mafia.

He does not get enough credit for this.

The survival skills it takes- the mental strength to survive as a runaway and technically he’s also homeless- at freaking 16, that’s just insane.

Also, let’s not mention the fact that it takes skills to forge official papers and all that.

We also do not talk enough about Neil and how he freaking have to relearn an entirely new position just to play exy.

I don’t think most remember that he’s actually a backliner, but have to play as a striker because it was the only available position in that local high school he attended in Millport, and that was how Kevin saw him so he was recruited as a striker.

We also additionally do not talk enough about how Kevin “literal and figurative Son of Exy” Day found potential for court in Neil “I’m a backliner but I’m playing striker because it’s the only thing available and I’m an exy junkie” Josten who only played it for like a year or less. 

Like yeah, Kevin said he needs more training but it’s not even Neil’s official position. 

The talent on this man- I cannot, he is such an icon. 

Aside from his great survival skills and being literally great at picking things up- he’s also like freaking academically smart.

Like that also doesn’t get enough credit- I mean, he does math for fun.

Frankly, I think if you did Kumon or if you had an awesome teacher you could also do math for fun (I know I did) but this should be noted with the fact that he didn’t have proper schooling.

He went on a run at a really young age so there is no way he received formal education.

Which means he is naturally like really smart.

He’s also a polyglot. And the languages he has under his belt are all freaking difficult to learn- like, no kidding: French, German, and he can assumingly speak intermediate Spanish, and we don’t even have an idea if this is all the languages he can speak.

Also, he and Andrew learns how to speak Russian, right? Like, that’s crazy.

The brain on this man and the power that he has- my son, I am so proud.

I mean, for all we know- there’s more than that and the fact that he’s like 18 at TFC screams supremacy.

This is where I argue about his EQ but Neil is crazy perceptive.

It took him like freaking 3 seconds to figure out the team dynamics the foxes have, and how to work against it.

He later figured out how to make it all mesh together.

Like the way he do things isn’t conventional but reading him analyze his team despite his lack of empathy really makes me shudder.

Like, this kid is so freaking smart. I remember reading his thought process for the very first time and being like, okay- I definitely did not think about that.

The main problem with his EQ though is that he doesn’t know how to process positive stuff when he’s involved, but when he’s the outsider- his perspective is so amazing.

Like again, he kind of lacks empathy but the way he understands things and is just so sharp is just noteworthy.

I’d argue he doesn’t understand social cues and “modern teen things” but he isn’t so completely clueless on the social aspect in general as to not manipulate an entire team of misfits with issues to work together.

He’s literally the key to unity in AFTG. Even Dan says so.

Also, the way he puts things into play- like he’s a master manipulator, and I love that for him.

We do not talk enough about manipulative Neil, like I just really love manipulative characters in general so much- especially if they’re just owning it. 

I mean, he freaking manipulated Andrew and Aaron into therapy. Kind of evil but also wow. (just a sidenote, please don’t force people into therapy lol)

Going completely dark for a second, Neil also has a freaking high pain tolerance.

The amount of horrible things he went through in the books were just so sad and the fact that he just kind of moves on from it? That’s just completely oh my gods.

My poor summer child, even if you can kill me at any given time, let me just hug you for a second with consent.

Everyone also gives shit about Neil’s fashion choices and granted it is said he kind of bags the homeless looks but the fact that he values utility above all else-

Yes, we stan a resourceful king. 

Lowkey though, am I the only one who appreciate Neil’s average style?

Speaking of style- I love the way Neil narrates. Like, the way he doesn’t give much attention to how the character looks- it’s just so realistic?

Because if I’m talking to a person in real life, there is no way I am noting how his blue polo makes him kind of casual but clean-cut and how his brown eyes is as warm as my morning coffee. Like, who even does that?

The thing with Neil’s narration is that it’s just so authentic- like it easily engages the readers and the way he gives importance to every thing the same way, it really makes it easier for the reader to discern things objectively, y’know what I mean?

He just has that quality in a main character and narrator- he’s laidback and sarcastic but not trying too hard, and he’s just really easy to love.

Like, I normally don’t like narrators/main characters in books because I favor a side character more or just because they’re annoying, but Neil Josten is legit lovable. 

At the same time, he’s also a really well-written character. Like, for all the technicalities I point out in AFTG, Neil is an asshole. He’s not perfect and I don’t 100% love everything that he does and I love that.

He’s a flawed character but he gives you something to root for- and I just really want to appreciate his characterization for a second. Most books make their characters’ flaws not even their fault to put a check to the flawed character but at the same time still have that perfect character. Eeww, no- give me real flaws to work with.

He’s one of the realest protagonists I ever read.

Like people give him shit for wanting to hide but also choosing to play a nationwide-discerned sport on an infamous collegiate team but for me it’s kind of realistic.

Because I think we, as human beings, also do things we love too much regardless of logic. I don’t know, like it’s kind of funny the way Neil is written but I honestly didn’t see him joining Palmetto as a loophole.

Like, just think of all those successful people who hid their identities via pseudonym or other necessary means to do things they weren’t expected to do or weren’t allowed to do.

For me, his character was really just looking for excuses to play his favorite sport a second longer and if anything, that’s just kind of sad.

But also, his dedication and love to exy is really admirable- like I never understood it but the way he literally does everything to stay on the court for a second longer just makes me want to root for him.

On a random note, Neil may not have an eidetic memory like Andrew’s but the way he memorize most phone numbers by heart? 

Bruh, I don’t even have my phone number memorized and I freaking have it for two years now. 

He also memorizes every twists and turns at every trip, every exits at a room he enters, and most people’s tics upon the first meeting, and other things and that’s just crazy perceptive but also really crazy on another level.

Also, we don’t get much ace/demi representation and out of the few I’ve consumed, demi Neil Josten validates me. He’s legit my favorite character that belongs in the ace spec in books.

I just really love Neil’s character so much- he’s just so amazing.

One thing I always appreciate about Neil Josten is that while he’s not a total angel (sadly), the way he loves the foxes- like he legit tried to mend the team and make sure everyone is going to be okay before walking straight to his death- like I’m with Andrew on this one, what a fucking martyr. Why are you like this and why am I crying?

Neil Josten is by all means not soft, that much is established, but the way he’s just still as precious and must be protected at all costs-

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time."

I love him, your honor- where can I file this adoption papers and do I have anything else to sign?

[ga-yuu]

~Kurama~Main Story Chapter 16~

Warning!! This chapter contains attempted murder and strong language

Chapter 15

*

*

*

--------Part 1--------

Yoshitsune: “First of all, I apologize because we assume that you might be in danger.”

Yoshino: “Danger...?”

One morning, Yoshitsune-sama visits my room and his first words made me blink.

Yoshino: “Why am I in danger?”

Kurama was also sitting next to Yoshitsune-sama, and he opens his mouth casually.

Kurama: “I’m told there are people in this mansion who wants to assassinate you.”

(Ehhh....)

I felt the blood draining from my face.

Yoshitsune: “Our army is being reinforced in preparation for the first war against the Shogunate. Not a few of the new recruits had a grudge against the Shogunate for one reason or another.” 

Yoshino: “But why would they want to kill me...?”

Yoshitsune: “It’s still unconfirmed but Yoichi is working on it. Until this matter is settled, I want you to stay in this room, just in case.”

Yoshino: “....Okay.”

My voice trembled when I replied.

(I was prepared to put myself in danger on the battlefield one day.)

(But I never thought I’d see the day when my life would be directly threatened in this way.)

(No matter how kind Yoshitsune-sama and the others are....my presence is not interesting to the soldiers of the Rebels)

My fingertips are as cold as if they were immersed in ice water.

Kurama: “Why are you trembling?”

(Kurama...)

Yoshino: “No, no no, I was just surprised. But I’m fine.”

Kurama frowned when he saw me forcing a smile.

Kurama: “......... Take this.”

(Hm?)

I took what was offered to me and it was a whistleblower.

Yoshino: “What’s this for?”

Kurama: “It’s got my spell on it. In this big mansion, I’d be able to hear it from anywhere.”

(Wow! That’s amazing!)

Kurama: “I want you to use it.”

--------Part 2---------

Kurama: “I want you to use it.”

I was stunned when he looked straight at me.

(I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts since that night in the garden with Kurama....)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I’ll do my best.

2. I’ll take good care of it.

3. That’s reassuring.(+4/+4)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshino: “That’s reassuring.”

Kurama: “I’m giving you that this time because it’s special. I don’t like to be treated as a shikigami used by humans.”

Yoshino: “Ohh, umm....thank you.”

Yoshitsune: “It’s only good for a few days. I want it to be a good luck charm in case of emergency.”

I agreed without a second, but....

.................

......That night.

Yoshino: “Eh, you haven’t caught the killer yet?”

Rebel vessel 1: “No. Although we are still in the middle of our interrogation, Yoshitsune-sama has asked me to report to you urgently before we take our leave.”

Yoshino: “Thank you.”

(Even though he is under interrogation, can I be a little relieved....?)

After the retainer has left, he breathes a sigh of relief.

My body slowly relaxed and I realise that I was more nervous than I thought.

(Yoshitsune-sama probably gave me the report so that I could sleep a little more calmly. I must thank him tomorrow.)

(Let’s read and sleep for the rest of the day.)

I reached for the tabletop to read the history book I had borrowed to review the knowledge Kagetoki-san had taught me.

..............

Yoshino: “Oh, no! I was told I had to return this book by today.”

(I’d forgotten all about it in the assassination fiasco.)

(I thought I’d ask someone to give it back to library.)

Perhaps it was the noise of the assassination attempt, but the vassals passing through the corridor were not in the mood to be approached.

However, I felt bad about calling them all the way.

(Because it would be unpleasant for the Rebels to take up my errands as a member of the Shogunate that everyone hates.)

Yoshino: “....The library is not far, so it should be fine, right?”

My heart ached for the thorn that I could not pull out.

(But something is bugging me----)

(Because I know that the Rebels, like everyone else in the Shogunate, are fighting for their friends and their beliefs.)

I was walking in the corridor while thinking about this, when----

(Nn.......!?)

Suddenly, a hand reaches out and covers my mouth, pulling me hard from behind.

Yoshino: ”Nnn...nnn....”

Man 1: “Shut up!”

I was pushed into a spare room and the sliding door slammed shut roughly.

Yoshino: “Nn....what the!”

Man 2: “How dare you, a member from the Shogunate walking around with her head held high in front of our eyes.”

------Part 3------

Man 2: “How dare you, a member from the Shogunate walking around with her head held high in front of our eyes.”

Man 1: “Yeah, I’ll avenge my comrades who were caught.”

Two men stood in front of me with swords.

(They’re going to kill me-----)

My blood froze with fear and my toes began to tremble.

(So there are two people!?)

They smile mockingly at me as I slowly back away.

(What should I do? I’ll buy some time and then....)

I remembered the whistleblower in my pocket and reach out for it------

Man 2: “...Our former comrades were killed in the war against the Shogunate.”

(If I call Kurama, he’ll surely kill them....)

(But, even I’d hate my enemies if they killed my friends....)

The words came out of my mouth in a rush----

Yoshino: “Look, we can talk this over...okay?”

Man 1: “Huh?”

(....I’m sorry. I know I’m being reckless, but....)

The faces of the two men became increasingly grim.

Yoshino: “Please, I beg you. I won’t tell Yoshitsune-sama and the others about you.....”

Man 2: “Are you kidding me? Woman!”

Yoshino: “No I....”

They held down my body as I tried to escape and I struggled.

Man 1: “Shut up! We’ll finish you off quickly and you won’t feel a thing!”

(NO!!)

I saw the white blade shining brightly while he was on top of me.

Regret and fear nearly overwhelmed me when----

Kurama: “Footsteps and squeaks like rats in the night.”

(Kurama!)

The men stopped moving when they heard a low voice.

Man 1: “Kurama-sama!”

Kurama entered the room and narrowed his eyes coldly at me.

Kurama: “.....What are you doing, Yoshino?”

Yoshino: “I...”

Man 1: “Kurama-sama! Please don’t move!”

The man screams while pointing the sword at my throat.

Kurama: “Who gave you permission to move? I forbid you to move against my will, not even a finger.”

Men: “!”

As soon as they felt the space distorting, their faces were filled with astonishment.

Man 2: “W-What is this?”

Man 1: “I can’t move!”

(Maybe he used Kotodama!?)

Kurama: “If you come in my way again, I’ll block your breathing.”

It was a blizzard of frost and they both lost their blood, their mouths still tightly shut when they should be free.

Kurama(glare): “Yoshino. Answer me. Why didn’t you call me?”

-------Part 4------

Kurama(glare): “Yoshino. Answer me. Why didn’t you call me?”

A stinging, deadly energy emanated silently from Kurama’s body and filled the room.

(....If I give a bad answer, he’ll kill everyone in this room including me.)

Yoshino: “I....I was almost killed.”

Kurama: “Why didn’t you blow the whistle when you knew you were?”

I can’t breathe properly because I feel the mass of air around me has increased so much.

Yoshino: “B-Because.”

I struggled to speak under the cold stare.

Yoshino: “I thought it would only be natural that there are people in this house who hates me because I’m an enemy. So, if we could talk it through....”

Kurama: “Oh. So, you want to die.”

(......!!)

Yoshino: “No, I----”

Kurama: “You already declared right in front of me that you’re on the Shogunate’s side. Then, why are you trying to make peace with these guys? I despise with all my heart anyone who would describe that warmth as kindness.”

The low voice, crushed my rebuttal.

Kurama: “Yoshino---is it horrible to be hated for real by someone who is right in front of you?”

(Ah.......)

I couldn’t even speak because it was so true.

(Yes, I didn’t want to be the bad guy.)

(I’m afraid of the malice directed at me by someone else, so I tried to look away from it.....)

(As a result, I almost lost my life.)

(If I die, I won’t be able to help everyone in the Shogunate anymore, but I made the wrong decision.)

Kurama: “Be proud to be an enemy that someone hates, if that’s what you’re willing to do with your life. If not, you may disperse here and now in disgrace.”

(.....Those serious eyes.)

With all the energy in my body, I looked straight back into Kurama’s eyes.

Yoshino: “-----I don’t want to die. Even if someone hates me.”

Kurama: “If you want to live, you must beg, and you must risk the lives of others.”

---------Part 5---------

Yoshino: “-----I don’t want to die. Even if someone hates me.”

Kurama: “If you want to live, you must beg, and you must risk the lives of others.”

Kurama snapped his fingers high in the air.

Men: “....!”

As if on cue, the bodies of the men escaped from the Kotodama.

Man 1: “Fuck you!”

Yoshino: “!!”

(No, I want to live!)

I pushed the man’s chest and scream as I struggle.

Yoshino: “Help! Kurama----”

Kurama: “That’s right. Beg me from the bottom if your heart.”

Strong wind blew around the room.

Man 2: “What the hell!?”

One of the men winces as he is cut down by an invisible blade of wind.

Man 1: “Ku...”

The other one, who was cutting at me, immediately seized his hand and removed his sword.

Kurama: “Surrendering already? You got no guts at all.”

(Finally....!!)

Man 1: “I-I heard you were a foreigner. Why would you use such great power to protect a woman of the Shogunate?”

Man 2: “Yeah! We’re just trying to avenge our friends.....”

As I sit there stunned, the men screamed at me.

Kurama: “It is the prerogative of the strong to choose where they wield their power. But before you accuse me of being unworthy.....”

The blood colored eyes took the men in their stride for the first time and penetrated deep into them.

Kurama: “You took Yoshino by surprise in a place where its not a battlefield. It seems to be for a great cause, but it’s only a matter of venting your resentment on an entity that you’re sure has the upper hand. What a pathetic petty way to live.”

Men: “Nn...........”

(Kurama.........)

I can’t help but be drawn to the way he says it with such strength and grace.”

(To everyone, Kurama is fair and merciless.)

(But, I’m sure that’s because.... Kurama himself is not ashamed of his life to anyone.)

The tension that I had felt earlier had dissipated, and I could feel the hot blood flowing through my body.

Kurama: “Yoshitsune will be the one to deal with you. It’s stupid, I’m not even interested in your life or death. Don’t ever stand in my line of sight again. Also.......”

(!!)

As if remembering, Kurama grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

Kurama: “This woman belongs to me. If you have a problem with that, you can tell me who owns her.

Chapter 17

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis is pining for Harry. We hope you’ll enjoy this list. We also have a mutual pining rec list here and we will have a pining Harry rec list eventually. Happy reading!

1) Down On Your Knees, You Don’t Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. this wonderful, wonderful thing.

2) You Had Me At Hello | Explicit | 4529 words

Louis works in the shop next to Harry's cupcake shop.   Louis pines after Harry until he goes into a heat and Harry finally catches up.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis’ bed when he’s cold. Louis pines.

4) Something To Live For | Mature | 5535 words

After over a century of waiting for Harry to realize they're mates,  Louis gets his heart broken when his friend announces he's found his 'one' in a human girl named Teresa. Wanting only happiness for Harry, Louis accepts that it just wasn't meant to be and decides it's time to let go of the immortal life.

5) Five Times Harry Styles Was Jealous | Mature | 6184 words

Harry's jealous all the time but there were five times that definitely stand out. Five times that changed Louis and Harry's relationship.

6) On My Mind All The Time, Say You're Mine | Explicit | 9261 words

“Dude, we’re inside, and it’s night time. Those don’t look as cool as you think they do.” Louis could kick himself, he sounded so stupid, but it certainly got the guy’s attention.

It was at that unfortunate moment that he noticed several other things about this hot asshole, that he hadn’t noticed just staring from afar. First, when Louis spoke to him, his gaze was kind of unfocused behind his sunglasses, and secondly, that he had a red and white cane folded up under his arm.

“I’m… Blind,” the man chuckled, awkwardly.  

Louis wanted to melt into a puddle out of pure embarrassment.

“I— am so sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” the man soothed, grabbing at Louis’ shoulders before he could get away.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, looking down at his shoes.

“It’s alright,” He cackled. “I get it a lot. More than you know.”

7) Let The Beating Waves Come Drag Me Down | Explicit | 9447 words

“Just try it, the worst thing that could ever happen it’s that you won’t like it” Niall had told him. And there he was, on the way to one of these pubs created for perverts, willing to break up the routine to try something new, something that terrified as much as excited him.

One night to get swept up in passion, one night to let the devil get in.

"Tonight, I’m going to make you scream of ecstasy Louis,” he said with a raspy voice full of control, making him tremble with anticipation.

8) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699

There are a lot of people Harry might expect to find on his doorstep at three o’clock in the afternoon these days.

It could be the delivery man, come to drop off the pair of boots Harry impulsively ordered online last week. It could be one of his neighbors, dropping by to complain about how a party he’d thrown weeks ago had clogged up the street. It could also be any number of his friends in L.A., who stop by unannounced most days to mooch off Harry’s food or whisk him away to try some new yogurt shop.

As a rule, it definitely cannot be Louis Tomlinson, although Harry’s blinked at least three times now, and it’s still Louis standing there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a duffel bag at his feet.

9) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10232 words

Nice guys always finish last.

10) Call If You Need Me | Explicit | 10770 words

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

11) Love Is Like This; Not A Heartbeat, But A Moan | Explicit | 13150 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

12) Just Let Me | Mature | 14714 words

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

13) We’re the New Romantics | Explicit | 16054 words

Alternatively, a high school au where Louis pines and Harry is not who he seems to be. Featuring peanut butter banana milkshakes, motorcycles, and first times.

14) Wait For Me (To Come Home) | Explicit | 16066 words

A future fic of time stamps where Louis finally comes to grips with a love he'd denied for too long.

15) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do.

In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) The Way The Storm Blows | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

18) Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark | Mature | 30830 words

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

19) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

20) Where The Lights Are Beautiful | Mature | 31170 words

The accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

21) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

"He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after.

Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that."

22) Before We Knew | Explicit | 39831 words

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

23) Eyes Off You I Explicit | 39396 words

A Charlie’s Angels inspired fic where Louis is the brains, Harry is the charm, Liam is the muscle, and Niall drives the getaway car - and Zayn is there, too. sometimes.

24) Kiss Me On The Mouth And Set Me Free (Nut Please Don't Bite) | Mature | 42074 words

Harry is the CEO of Flora Corp, Louis is his new secretary.

"...Louis wanted him so badly. Wanted Harry to pick him up, bite him, and break him. Make Louis his, make Louis cry, make Louis a beautiful, plump, pregnant omega..."

25) Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Aches | Explicit | 46625 words

A Friends with Benefits AU, in which Louis falls in love and Harry is jealous. There is some Karaoke singing somewhere in there, because how do you write a romantic comedy without a Karaoke scene?

26) Underneath The Moon | Mature | 46927 words

In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.

27) The Sidelines | Explicit | 47078 words

Note: There are mentions of Top Louis.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can’t stand one another, since they can’t keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other.

28) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

29) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

30) Inevitable | Explicit | 185917 words

AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Destiny

Ch 2- Touche, Kiddo.

Chapter Summary: Tony and Natasha take Katie back to the first of several key points of impact in her life- the day Tony returned from Afghanistan…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So these chapters contain flashbacks of sorts- but they’re not flashbacks as Katie is watching the events unfold in front of her-a “Time heist” of sorts. However, to keep it clear and hopefully not confusing, the events she is watching are depicted in itallics instead of me trying to keep calling her 2010 v 2030 Katie…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Destiny Masterlist // Main Masterlist

You’re dead.” Katie spluttered, looking at Tony.

“Yeah, so they tell me.” He mused, taking a look around, observing his surroundings. “Which is kind of a bummer.” “So what the fuck is this?” She swallowed, shaking her head. “Am I dreaming? Having some kind of mental breakdown hallucination? Or are you a ghost? And where the fuck have you been for the past seven years, asshole?”

“I wasn’t needed.” Tony shrugged. “But, this is your party so to speak. I can be whatever you want to be if it makes you feel better. I mean, you did have strange dreams at times when you were younger. I distinctly recall one about a giant white rabbit chasing you through the streets of London with an ice cream cone as a hat.” “I was high when I fell asleep.” Katie shrugged, then she gave a moan. “What am I doing talking to you? This is insane, I need to wake up.” She closed her eyes, pinched herself, yelping at the pain. When she opened them, she saw Tony leaning against the tree trunk, one knee bent as his shoe pressed flat against the trunk behind him, arms folded. “Yeah, sorry Kiddo. Still here.” “This is all inside my head.” Katie took a deep breath “This is all inside my head, this isn’t real.” “What was it that Dumblebee dude said? You know the Wizard from Harry Potter?” Tony clicked the fingers on his right hand, pointing at Katie as she rolled her eyes.

“Dumbledor."

“Whatever, the point is what he said. You know, that quote you loved ‘Of Course this is happening inside your head, but why on Earth should that mean that it is not real?’ You can’t have forgotten, you had it stencilled on the wall in your apartment.”

“I haven’t, trust me.” Katie said softly. “It’s Jamie’s favourite too. He has it above his bed, Steve did it for him along with a painting of the Hogwarts Castle"

“Wow, he read them all already?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “He’s smart.” Katie smiled. “A real bookworm, and an artist. Announced the other day he wants to write and illustrate kid’s books now, not be a Baseball player anymore. Steve insists there’s time for him to come to his senses but…” 

"Cap still with the giddy optimism huh?" Tony arched an eyebrow and she felt her eye begin to prick, and that familiar stinging sensation associated with trying to stave off tears filled the upper inside of her nose and she looked at Tony before she rushed forward and he stood up straight. At the last minute, before she threw herself at him she stopped dead and reached out with a shaky hand, her palm pressing against the pin striped material of his waistcoat. He was solid, warm, she could feel his heart beating. 

“I-“ she looked up at him, the tears once more pouring from her eyes, “I don’t want this to be in my head."

Tony smiled, his own eyes brimming with tears as Katie slid her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. She breathed in his familiar cologne, a smell she hadn’t forgotten but one that hadn’t filled her senses in a long time. His hands gently rubbed at her back as he held her close, one hand creeping upwards where it rest on the back of her hair as he dropped a kiss to her head. His familiar fatherly-brotherly touch was seeping into her bones, quelling the deep, dark aching she’d been feeling since, well, she couldn’t remember. Steve was her home, her safe place, her rock, there was no denying that, but Tony was her childhood pillar of strength. He was the man that had band aided her knees and palms, tucked her in, fought the monsters under her bed and for that reason, he would always be a source of comfort and strength.

Even if this was just some whacked out hallucination.

And then, she felt another emotion. An emotion she remembered feeling before many a times watching Steve catapult himself off buildings, bridges, hanging off helicopters before dropping into rivers. It was anger. Anger at the self-sacrificing nature that drove her soldier to act first and think later, but she was feeling it here at her brother. Unable to quell it she pulled back and her right hand laid a stinging slap to Tony’s left cheek. His head snapped to the right and he gave an angry yell.

“Jesus Kiddo! What the fuck was that for?” “For dying, dickwad!” She yelled, the tears falling down her face. “You died and you left me!” “It wasn’t like I had a choice.” Tony sighed, dropping his head. “This was always the end I was going to get, not the end I wanted but…”

“She took it well then.” A voice drawled and Katie stiffened in her brothers’ arms, and looked up at him, eyes wide as she turned slowly to see another familiar face looking back at her, green eyes sparkling, red hair shining in the stray rays of sunlight that crept into the thicket as it fell forward around her face and shoulders over the top of a black leather jacket with a bounce Katie hadn’t seen for years.

“Nat,” she swallowed, wiping her eyes, “you look-”

“Yeah, better.” Natasha shrugged, “Whatever this is, it took us back to a time before it all went to shit. I think this was my hair in 2015 or 16…” “Leipzig you looked like that.” Tony mused as Katie stepped away from him, to scan Natasha up and down. “I, on the other hand, I’m not sure. But I look good so…” “Modest as always.” Katie grumbled as she stopped in front of Natasha, before they embraced as well.

How’s my little man?” Natasha asked and Katie smiled.

“Not so little anymore. He’s like up to here now.”  She held her hand up to a point at the top of her rib-cage. “Growing like a weed and he looks just like Steve.”

“Yeah, we actually know.” Tony cut in. “We know about all five of them, she’s just making conversation. I gotta say, I’m kinda liking the fact Emmy hooked up with Parker. They'll make cute babies"

"Oh God, don't. Steve's already freaking out about them wanting to move in together." Katie laughed and Tony grinned before he pondered something.

"Henry, that wasn't after Hank Pym was it?" He asked and Katie shook her head.

"It was a name Steve liked. I picked his middle. And it was the other way for Flossie."

Natasha snorted. “I gotta say you gave Aurora a perfect name. After a princess.” “The Star Spangled Diva." Katie shook her head before she grinned. “She’s awesome, they all are.” “She’s a Stark that's for sure.” Tony smiled proudly.

“Steve says that. Says she looks like me and has your attitude. Drives him insane.” Tony smirked. “Good to know. Been dead seven years and still bugging the crap out of Spangles.” He nodded, clapping his hand together, rubbing his palms against one another in glee.

Katie looked at her brother for a moment before she shook her head. “Okay, so is this the part where the two of you give me some kind of pep talk, you know about the kids and my outburst before or…” “Well, we could.” Tony wrinkled his nose, “but you always responded better to visuals, so we’re gonna show you.” “Tony I have no desire to see any of that again.” She shook her head. “I already know I fucked up.” “We’re not here about the fact you cussed out Jamie.” Nat said gently

Katie frowned. “Then what is this?”

“We’re more concerned with the fact you don’t seem to understand how much you matter to everyone.” The red head continued. “What was it you said before? Something along the lines of not seeing the point of being in their lives?”

Katie looked down at her feet.

“You’re human, Kiddo.” Tony said “Humans are flawed. They fuck up. Some of us less than others, granted.” Katie raised her head, cocking an eyebrow at Tony. “You’re such a conceited bastard.” “True.” Tony nodded, “But all things considered I think I have a right to be. I mean my best achievement is stood right in front of me.” He shrugged. “I’d like to include Moo in that but, well Pep’s done the hard work there really, bringing her up. You on the other hand, well that was all me.” He stepped forward and took both her hands. “And I’m smug as fuck about it, because you’re an amazing woman Kiddo, you just need reminding of that fact so we can get you over this sudden lack of self-worth you seem to be displaying.” Katie shook her head, tears forming in her eyes, “Tone…” “It’s true.” He shrugged, letting go of her hands. “But, you’ll see for yourself. Come on.”

He turned and started walking up the path towards the Memorial Gardens and Katie watched him before she turned to Natasha. Nat nodded her head towards Tony’s back and with a shrug Katie turned to follow him.

“Might as well see what whacked out journey my subconscious has planned.” She muttered to herself, following her brother as he walked ahead of her slightly. As they emerged from the thicket of trees, Katie noticed the Gardens were completely empty and it was eerily quiet. Eventually, Tony stopped by an orange Audi and Katie shook her head.

“What?” Tony asked. “I liked this colour.”

Natasha walked passed Katie and opened the door, folding the seat forward so she could slip into the back. Katie watched Tony as he settled in the driver’s side before she took another look around. The sun was starting to set, sending streaks of lilac and burnt red across the sky, and with another deep breath she climbed in and shut the door. Tony fired the engine and the familiar sounds of AC/DCs Back in Black hit her ears. Despite herself she gave a smile, glancing out of the window as Tony drove the car forward, the music filled her senses.

Suddenly, she frowned. Her head flicking to look out of the window to her side before she turned back to the windscreen as she recognised her surroundings which seemed to have changed when she blinked. “How…”

“We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.” Tony looked at her as she turned her head to meet his eyes.

“No, we’re in fucking California!” She practically exploded. “How? That’s not possible!”

“Neither is seeing dead people but you’re managing that just fine.” Natasha drawled. Katie ran her hands over her face letting out a groan.

“I’m tripping. I have to be. Did someone spike my coffee before?”

Tony smirked as he pulled the car off the road onto the Military air base and drew up behind a row of blacked out SUVs, each flanked by an armed guard.

“Wait,” Katie leaned forward, looking at three familiar figures waiting on the tarmac as a huge C17 taxied towards them. “This, this is the day you came back from Afghanistan.”

Tony nodded as Katie opened the door and climbed out. She took a few steps forward stopping in front of the car bonnet. Natasha stood by her left, Tony by her right as she watched the aircraft come to a stop.

“Come on.” Tony strode forwards. “You know how I like to make an entrance, be kind of cool for me to actually watch it for once.” They weaved their way through the line of SUVs and Katie paused, stopping. Curiously, she cocked her head to one side and waved her hand in front of one of the guard’s faces. He didn’t even blink.

“They can’t see you.” Natasha informed. “Think of it as being like A Christmas Carol…”

Kate looked at her, before she took a deep breath. “So not quite a Time Heist?”

Nat smirked and nodded. “Almost, but not quite, no.”

“Fucking hell.” Katie shook her head and turned to make her way over to Tony who was now stood just behind Pepper.

“God her ass looks great.” He mumbled. Katie gave a snort as she stopped behind her 2010 self.

“Was I really that skinny?” She muttered, taking in her frame. Her waist was ridiculously tiny, emphasised by the sharp, black tailored suit she wore, her hair pinned back into a bun. She moved round to the side, taking in her profile. Her eyes were shining, her jaw tense as she held back the tears. “Mind you, I don’t think I ate properly for the entire time you were gone.” “You’re not exactly fat now.” Tony scoffed. Katie ignored him, her eyes still fixed on herself. As she watched, 2010 Katie turned to Pepper who looked at her, the pair of them sharing a smile as Katie extended her hand, Pepper taking it, squeezing her fingers.

The tars of happiness trickled down her face, as the ramp on the aircraft carrier opened to reveal her brother. His hair was longer, he looked thinner but he was alive and all things considered he looked pretty good. Dressed in a sharp grey suit, brown shirt and a brown tie sporting white polka dots. His face was a little bruised but his goatee was well groomed and he still wore that determined, arrogant look she knew so well. As Rhodey helped him down the ramp, he waved away the gurney that was being wheeled towards him and unable to stand it any longer, Katie shot forward. Tony was barely at the bottom before she flung herself at him, not caring that his arm was a sling.

“Hey, Kiddo.” He said softly as she buried her face into his neck.

“You fucking asshole!” She sobbed. “Next time, you ride with Rhodey, you got that?”

“Trust me, there will be no next time.” He chuckled as she pulled back and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Afghanistan is a shit hole.”

“It was you know.” Tony mumbled and Katie turned her head away from watching her past reunion with her brother to look at him. “But there was one thing that kept me going in that hell hole. And that was getting back to you. I couldn’t leave you. Not after what happened to Mom and Dad.” Katie swallowed and turned back to see herself and her brother walking towards Pepper, her hand linked in his as they stopped.

“Your eyes are red.” Tony looked at Pepper. “A few tears for your long-lost boss?”

“Tears of joy.” Pepper smiled back. “I hate job hunting.” “Yeah, vacation's over.” Tony said simply, and he headed past Pepper towards Happy. Katie watched as the two men embraced and she turned to Pepper.

“Twenty bucks says the first place he goes is for a cheeseburger.”

“You know me, knew me, whatever, so well.” Tony looped an arm round Katie as they watched their 2010 selves climb into the car and set off.

“I didn’t even try and convince you otherwise.” She sighed, looking at him. “I knew you’d refuse to go to the hospital. I didn’t see the immediate press-conference coming though. That was certainly a curve ball.”

“Yeah, it was an interesting one for us too at SHIELD.” Nat mused. “As soon as Fury got the call about how you’d escaped and that you’d called said conference he dispatched Coulson.”

“God.” Katie blew out a breath. “This was like twenty years ago now. I was so young, a baby.”

“Well, now you don’t look a day over forty-six.” Tony said, patting her shoulder. She glared at him and he chuckled “Come on.”

Katie cast her eyes once more at the tail of the Rolls which was heading over the airfield tarmac and the three of them walked back to Tony’s Audi.

**** “Higher Daddy!” Harry giggled as Steve pushed him on the swing lazily with one arm, all the time keeping one eye on Rori who was currently with Jamie, the pair of them hanging off the climbing frame upside down whilst Stark sat at the bottom, barking at them. Whilst all his kids seemed to have inherited some of the serum’s benefits in that they were rarely sick and on the whole pretty robust, they were still fifty-percent ‘normal’ for want of a better word, and Steve’s heart was constantly in his mouth when they did stuff like that. To his horror, he watched Rori pull herself up and then tuck herself into a ball, flipping herself backwards off the frame, landing on her feet.

“That’s how to stick a landing.” She looked at Jamie, her tongue poking out at him before she trotted back over to her Dad ignoring her brother’s shout of “loser…” as she headed off.

“Can you not do that?” Steve sighed exasperatedly as she stopped by his side.

“Do what?” She looked up at him, her green eyes frowning a little. “Throw yourself off stuff.” “Momma says you did it all the time.” Rori looked at him “She said you threw yourself out of an elevator with her on your back.” “That, that was different.” He finished lamely.

“How?” “Because I had no choice.” “Why didn’t you just push the button to take the elevator down?” Rori looked at him like he was an idiot and he groaned.

“Rori, just, oh, I dunno, go and play on the slide or something. And by that I mean slide down it, not jump off it.”

“Hey Dad?” Jamie appeared by his side and Steve looked down at him. “You wanna play catch?”

“Why don’t you play with Stark?” Steve suggested. “I need to keep an eye on Harry and Flossie, buddy.”

“Stark just runs off with the ball. He never brings it back.”

“Well, try teaching him.” “I have.” Jamie whined.

“Jamie, don’t start.” Steve looked at him sternly “You’re skating on thin ice as it is. I’ll bring you out to play ball just the two of us one night next week, I promise.” “I’ll play.” Rori offered. Steve could see Jamie was considering his options before he shrugged.

“Okay.”

The two of them headed off towards the small sandlot to the side of the park, Steve watching as he continued to push Harry in the swing, his gaze then turning to Florence who was asleep in the stroller. Eventually, Harry got bored and wanted to play on the slide so Steve lifted him out and they made their way over, Harry’s hand wrapped around Steve’s as he pushed Florence with the other. He watched Harry as he climbed the steps and then moved to the bottom of the slide, crouching as the little boy whizzed down laughing, Steve smiled as he caught him and tossed him into the air slightly.

“Again!” Harry demanded. Steve let him down and he repeated the motion a few times before Steve checked his watch. It was getting a little late, granted it was a Saturday but he didn’t want to deal with the fall out of them all being over tired and cranky over dinner. There had been enough tantrums and tears today.

“Kids, think we should head back.” He said as he approached the older two. Jamie looked at him, about to protest and Steve glared at him.

“What did I say before?”

Jamie took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, Dad.”

Together they walked back, Jamie and Rori a little ahead as Steve kept pace with Harry. They took the path through one of the green parks that led to their road and Rori stopped at a bank of wild flowers.

“Hey, can we pick some for Momma?” She asked, turning to look at Steve. “The blue ones are pretty.”

Steve smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.”

“Make momma happy?” Harry asked, looking up and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, yeah it will.”

Steve watched as Jamie and Rori headed off to a patch to the left to pick a few and Steve crouched down consulting with Harry as to which ones he wanted to get. He helped him pick a few before he turned back to see Jamie and Rori clutching handfuls each.

“You leave any for the bees?” He quipped and Rori looked at him.

“There are looooads.” She gestured with her hands, giving an eye roll that was ridiculously comparable to those of her mother.

“Well that’s me told.” Steve arched an eyebrow. “Okay, give them here.”

He took them gently, adding them to Harry’s and he laid them on the little shelf at the bottom of the stroller before the five of them made their way back home.

**** Tony parked the Audi haphazardly in a space outside the Stark Industries HQ main building.

“Nice parking.” Katie quipped.

“It’s our company, I own this parking lot. Well I did. And besides, like you keep saying, this isn’t real so what does it matter?” He asked as the three of them exited the car. Katie glanced over to where Obadiah Stane was waiting with the press and their employees, laughing loudly and generally acting like the big shot.

“Dick.” She mumbled. “I never liked him.”

“Yeah, I know. You told me a lot. And it turns out you were right about him.” Tony shrugged. “Who knew?”

She snorted and Natasha gave a chuckle. “I’ll leave you two to this one.” She said gently, leaning against the car, folding her arms. Katie looked at her, before she turned and followed Tony as he strode forward, watching as the Rolls pulled up. The people stood round the turning circle all started to applause and when the car stopped and Obadiah strode forwards, arms open.

“Look at this!” He opened the door, presenting Tony to everyone and pulling him into a hug “We were going to meet at the hospital.”

“No, I'm fine.” Tony said, turning to Happy who offered him the Burger King bag from which Tony pulled another cheeseburger.

“Look at you!” Obadiah chuckled “You had to have a burger, yeah?”

“Which reminds me,” Katie nudged Pepper as they walked around the back of the car, “you owe me a twenty.” Pepper snorted and shook her head, “come on.”

Katie and Pepper headed inside, following Tony and Obadiah who were chatting away, the cameras flashing as they walked through the cool, marble clad reception area of HQ where the podium that the press conferences were held from stood to the side. Katie and Pepper stopped, Katie taking a breath as she watched Tony walking through the group of people, speaking to various until a voice by her side made her jump.

“Miss Potts, may I speak to you for a moment?”

Katie turned to see an unassuming man, with short dark hair and a kind face dressed in a black suit, a Visitor Tag attached to his breast pocket. She looked at him for a second before her attention turned back to Tony who was busy talking to a woman in a red suit.

“I’m not part of the press conference,” Pepper spoke to the man, “but it’s about to begin right now.”

“I'm not a reporter. I'm Agent Phil Coulson, with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.” The man spoke and that got Katie’s attention. She turned to look at him, smiling.

“That's quite a mouthful.” She grinned and Agent Coulson gave her a smile.

“I know. We're working on it.” He smiled as Pepper took the business card he was holding. Katie arched an eyebrow and smiled, once more turning her eyes back to her brother.

“You know, we've been approached already by the DOD, the FBI, the CIA...” Pepper continued and Coulson cut her off gently.

“We're a separate division with a more specific focus. We need to debrief Mr. Stark about the circumstances of his escape.”

Katie turned to him, frowning and wondering exactly how they knew about it. Reading her facial expression, Coulson shrugged slightly and Pepper nodded. “I'll put something in the book, shall I?”

“Thank you.”

Katie was about to quiz him more when she heard Tony calling for her. She looked at her brother and he gestured with his head.

“Excuse me.” She strode forward and Tony put an arm round her shoulder.

“I need to speak to you, before I talk to the world.”

“God, I remember this like it was yesterday.” Katie turned to Tony as they followed in the wake of themselves, everyone parting as Tony steered his sister towards the little break out room at the back, which housed the coffee and vending machines.

“Yup.” Tony said as they ducked inside the room with themselves. “It was a pretty life defining moment. For me anyway…”

“It was for both of us.” Katie watched as 2010 Tony clicked he door shut. “This is where it all began. Iron Man, SHIELD, all of it.”

Tony smiled and they both turned their heads to watch their past selves.

“I’m shutting down the Weapons Manufacturing.” Tony said and Katie frowned.

“What? Why?”

“I saw out there what our weapons are being used for.” Tony shook his head. “I don’t know how those terrorists got hold of them, because I sure as hell didn’t approve any bids to that particular group, did the Commercial Department negotiate them without me, using your delegated authority?”

“Of course not!”  Katie replied indignantly “What do you take me for? They must have been traded on the black market…”

“And that is exactly my point!” Tony nodded at her. “We can’t police it all. So I want to shut it down. Focus our efforts elsewhere.”

“What happened to you out there Tone?” Katie considered her brother for a moment and he took a deep breath.

“For the first time I met my Jiminy Cricket.” He shrugged. “Tony Stark doesn’t want to be the most famous mass murderer in the history of America anymore.”

Katie frowned. “That Vanity Fair article. You read it?”

“Of course I read it, it was about me.” He shrugged “The reporter…erm..”

“Everhart?” Katie looked at him. “You forgot her name after you banged her as well?”

“Whatever, that’s not important.” Tony waved her off “But Kiddo, all those lives we’ve saved by advancing medical technology and the starvation prevented from intelli-crops, she mentioned none of that.”

“Because that doesn’t sell papers.” Katie shook her head “Whereas dubbing us Merchants of Death does.”

“War profiteering she called it. And she was right.” Tony implored “You know, Dad always said that peace means…”

“Having a bigger stick than the other guy, yeah, you told me” Katie looked at her brother.

“And it’s a great line coming from the guy selling the sticks.” Tony shook his head. “But what if no one was selling the sticks?”

Katie took a deep breath. “People would then just make their own sticks, and they’d be harder to police.”

“But what if I told you I had a pretty big assed stick of my own to stop that? The biggest stick anyone could have.”

“I’m not-” Katie sighed, rubbing at her temple. “Tony you’ve lost me”

“I wouldn’t have escaped if it hadn’t been for my cell mate out there. He saved my life,” Tony tapped his chest, “not only did he build an electromagnet to keep a bunch of shrapnel from shredding my heart, he sacrificed himself so I could escape. His last words were an instruction, not to waste my life, Kiddo, and I have no intention of doing so anymore.” He looked down at his feet taking a deep breath before he raised his head to meet her gaze. “I don’t want my legacy, our legacy, to be about how many deaths we may or may not have been indirectly responsible for.”

“You really did have an epiphany didn’t you?” Katie looked at him, not a shred of sarcasm in her voice.

“It was my moment of clarity” Tony nodded “And I have a permanent reminder, as you know already.”

He moved his arm gently, wincing as he did so, loosening his tie a little and undoing the top few buttons on his shirt. He gently parted it and Katie gave a gasp at the small circle of light in the middle of his chest.

“This thing powered a suit I made. A metal suit. I shrunk the Arc reactor down in a damned cave, and that’s what’s now keeping the shrapnel in place, but it powered a heavy assed suit for fifteen minutes. Just think of all the good we could do with it with it. Renewable technology, medical equipment, maybe some other form of potential peace keeping initiative with a slightly smaller metal suit.”

“Is this the big stick you were talking about?” Katie asked, arching her eyebrow. “A metal suit.”

Tony took a deep breath. “In a fashion, yes. It could remove the need for other sticks so to speak.”

Katie took a deep breath before she stepped forward and began to do his shirt back up for him, not saying a word as she mulled over what he had said. The fact they traded weapons had been something she tried not to think about, justifying it in her mind as a means to an end- if they didn’t someone else would. But if you were to remove that completely…

She re-knotted his tie and slid it up to his collar before she straightened it and stood back, rolling her eyes as Tony loosened it once more.

“I need you to trust me on this, Kiddo.” He said softly and she looked at him, her eyes searching his. There wasn’t a single ounce of doubt there, quit the contrary. This was obviously something he vehemently believed in. And for that reason, she decided to back him.

“Okay.” She nodded “We’ll shut it down.”

Katie watched as her 2010 self and brother embraced, turning to Tony. “You have no idea how much of a head fuck that was” she said as they followed themselves out of the room.

“Oh, believe me I do.” Tony said, as they stood at the back of the room, watching as Obadiah greeted the press, 2010 Katie walking up to stand beside him.

Tony sat down in front of the podium. “Hey, would it be all right if everyone sat down?” He asked, fishing the cheeseburger out of his pocket “Why don't you just sit down? That way you can see me, and I can... a little less formal and...” Tony took a bite of the cheeseburger as Katie glanced at Obi, giving a shrug, before she sat to Tony’s left.

“Good to see you.” Tony looked at Obi who smiled.

“Good to see you.” He said, reaching out and touching Tony’s shoulder.

“I never got to say goodbye to Dad.” Tony looked around. He glanced at Katie, “we never got to say goodbye to our father.” He swallowed his food and placed the half eaten burger on the floor as he considered his words. “There's questions that I would have asked him. I would have asked him how he felt about what this company did. If he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts.”

Katie glanced at the floor as Tony paused for a second.

“Or maybe he was every inch the man we all remember from the newsreels.” He once more turned to Katie who gently placed her hand on his back, giving a small rub over his suit jacket. Taking a deep breath he looked out over the room. “I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that we had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero accountability.”

Out of the corner of her eye, as the members of the press began to call Tony’s name, Katie saw Obadiah shift slightly, frowning a little at what Tony had just said.

“Hey,Ben.” Tony nodded to one of the reporters.

“What happened over there?”

“I had my eyes opened.” Tony stood and moved behind the podium, Katie watching his every move. “I came to realize that I have more to offer this world than just making things that blow up.”

He glanced down at Katie and she gave him a small nod.

“And that is why, effective immediately, me and my sister are shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark International”

The room erupted in commotion, everyone standing and talking at the same time. Katie took her position by her brother as Tony simply continued speaking

“…until such a time as we can decide what the future of the company will be.”

Obadiah placed his hand over Tony’s shoulder, trying to cut in a little and mentioned something about selling a lot of newspapers but Tony ignored him

“…what direction it should take, one that we’re comfortable with and is consistent with the highest good for this country, as well.”

At that he turned to Katie and the two of them left the stage, Tony’s arm looped around her shoulder as he dropped a kiss to her temple.

Obadiah continued to speak as Katie turned to Tony, watching themselves as they left the room.

“Wanna go watch the follow up fireworks?” he grinned and she gave a chuckle.

“Why not, we’re here. May as well.”

They walked out to see their past selves climbing into Happy’s car and Natasha straightened up as they headed to the Audi.

“Have fun?” She drawled and Katie looked at her and shrugged.

“I suppose I never really understood the significance of that moment. Like I said to Tony in there, this is what kicked it all off. How Iron Man was born.”

Natasha looked at Tony, giving him a little nod “You were right to bring here her then.” “Just like I said.” He shrugged as he opened the door to the Audi, gesturing to it with his head “Now, get in Losers, we’re going Arc Reactor viewing.”

Katie rolled her eyes at Natasha as the two of them climbed into the car and Tony followed the Rolls that was working its way across the Stark Industries site. Eventually it stopped outside the large, glass fronted building which housed the Arc Reactor that powered the plant. The three of them exited and followed 2010 Tony and Katie inside.

“So this is a larger version of what was in your chest.” Natasha looked up at the huge power source, giving it the once over.

“Yup.” Tony nodded. “Pretty cool huh.”

Natasha gave a hmmm of agreement as Katie’s eyes strayed to herself as she stood with Tony, the two of them stood side by side, looking up at it.

“Not sure Obi is gonna be happy.” She turned to look at Tony who shrugged, his eyes not leaving the Arc Reactor.

“I don’t much care.” He shrugged. “We’ve bowed to him and the board for far too long.” “Well, that’s kind of the point of a board.” She looked at him.

“Yeah, but the two of us make the majority, as you know.” Tony shrugged. “Look, Kiddo, this is the right thing to do, we just gotta ride out the bow of this shit storm for a while.”

“That’s a mixed metaphor.” Katie snorted and Tony grinned. At that point the doors to the building opened and they turned to see Obadiah stood, cigar in his mouth, hands on his hips.

“Well, that..uh...that went well.”

“Did we just paint a target on the back of our heads?” Tony asked reaching up to undo his tie.

“Your heads? What about my head?” Obi asked walking behind them, pacing slightly. “What do you think the over-under on the stock drop is gonna be tomorrow?”

“Uh, optimistically, forty points.” Katie offered as Tony whipped off his tie.

“At minimum.” Obadiah nodded.

“Yup.” Tony agreed, hanging his tie over his jacket which was draped on the railings around the reactor.

“Tony, we're a weapons manufacturer.” Obadiah said softly, looking at him.

“Obi, I just don't want a body count to be our only legacy.” Tony turned to face him.

“That's what we do. We're iron mongers. We make weapons.”

“It’s our name on the side of the building.” Katie chipped in and Obadiah sighed.

“What we do keeps the world from falling into chaos.”

“Not based on what I saw.” Tony shook his head. “We're not doing a good enough job. We can do better. We're gonna do something else” “Like what?” Obadiah asked “You want us to make baby bottles?”

“Tony thinks we should take another look into arc reactor technology.” Katie spoke, clearing her throat. “And I agree.

“Ah, come on.” Obi looked at her, then shook his head, waving his hands towards the item in question “The arc reactor, that's a publicity stunt! Guys’ come on. We built that thing to shut the hippies up!”

“It works.” Katie said simply and Tony smiled, catching her eye for a second as Obi scoffed.

“Yeah, as a science project. The arc was never cost effective. We knew that before we built it.” He shook his head once more pacing behind the siblings, neither of who turned to face him “Arc reactor technology, that's a dead end, right?”

Obadiah’s tone was almost sarcastic and Katie understood instantly that he knew about the one in Tony’s chest. From the smile on her brother’s face he’d also reached the same conclusion.

“Maybe.” Tony said, his smile growing bigger as he looked up at the larger arc once more before he turned to Katie, his smile growing bigger. She gave him one of her own as they both turned to look at Obi.

“Huh? Am I right? We haven't had a breakthrough in that in what? Thirty years.”

“That's what they say.” Tony said, narrowing his eyes as Obadiah looked straight at him. Katie snorted.

“Obi, could you have a lousier poker face?” She rolled her eyes.

“Just tell me, who told you?” Tony looked at him.

“Never mind who told me.” Obi pointed towards his chest. “Show me”

“It's Rhodey or Pepper.” Tony continued

“I want to see it.” Obadiah continued.

“Okay, Rhodey…” Tony undid his sling and looking around he began to undo his shirt to show Obadiah the reactor in his chest. The older man looked at it for a moment, glancing to the larger arc before he chuckled a little

“Okay.” He said as he began to button Tony's shirt back up, the same way Katie had earlier.

“Okay? It works.” Tony looked at him.

Obadiah sighed, giving a smile and looped his arm around Tony’s shoulder. “Listen to me, Tony. We're a team.” He gestured to Katie. “The three of us, do you understand? There's nothing we can't do if we stick together, like your father and I.”

“I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads-up, okay?” Tony looked at him. “But if I had...”

“Tony. Tony, no more of this "ready, fire, aim" business. You understand me?”

“Wasn’t that another one of Dad's line?” Katie asked and Tony looked at her, nodding.

“You two have gotta let me handle this.” Obi looked at them. “We're gonna have to play a whole different kind of ball now. We're going to have to take a lot of heat.” He said as Katie helped Tony back into his jacket. “I want you to promise me that you're gonna lay low.”

Katie, Tony and Natasha watched the other figures leave the building and Katie sighed, her eyes flicking back up to the arc reactor.

“You know, that was a great trip down memory lane and everything Tone, but you’re gonna have to help me out here as to how, exactly, that’s supposed to relate to my apparent sudden lack of self-worth.”

“You backed my decision.” Tony stated simply. “You were one hundred percent behind me when I said I wanted to shut down the weapons manufacturing.”

“I know, but…” “If you hadn’t been, Tony would never have done it.”  Natasha shrugged

“Red’s right, you were always my sanity check. Despite what you may have thought to the contrary, I trusted your opinions, Kiddo. Every key decision I made with SI was done with you by my side.” “That’s not true.”

“It is.” Tony pressed. “Think about it for a second. The Charities, the deals, the partnerships, the take overs, the Arc Reactor, not one single big thing I did with that company, with our company, was done without you. Even when you disagreed I took that into consideration and modified stuff so that it was more in-line with what you suggested or thought.” Katie swallowed, shaking her head slightly, lost for words. Eventually she took a deep breath and looked at her brother. “I didn’t realise. I always thought you did that simply because you needed my vote on stuff to make a majority…”

“Well you thought wrong.” He shrugged “But I’ll forgive you. The world only has space for one Stark genius.” “Good job you’re dead then.” She shot back and he looked at her, his eyebrow arching slightly, an incredulous smirk on his face as Natasha snorted.

“Touche, Kiddo. Touche.”

 **Original Posting**

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 16 of 26

Title: Tales From Earthsea (Earthsea Cycle #5) (2001)

Author: Ursula K. Le Guin

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Short Story Collection, Novella, Third-Person, Female Protagonist 

Rating: 8/10 (note: this is an average)

Date Began: 7/2/2021

Date Finished: 7/6/2021

Tales From Earthsea is a collection of five short stories and novellas which take place in the Earthsea universe. In addition, there’s a supplementary timeline of Earthsea’s history, tradition, and cultural details of note. The last story in the collection, Dragonfly, serves as a bridge between Tehanu (#4) and The Other Wind (#6), the final book in the series. 

Of the five stories, my favorites (both 10/10s) were The Finder and On The High Marsh.

The way one does research into nonexistent history is to tell the story and find out what happened. I believe this isn’t very different from what historians of the so-called real world do. Even if we are present at some historic event, do we comprehend it— can we even remember it— until we can tell it in a story? 

Content warnings, individual ratings/commentary, and spoilers below the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Death and violence, child abuse (including implied sexual abuse), police brutality, slavery, reference to torture and execution, brief reference to inc*st, misogyny, animal cruelty, mild body horror, very brief implied mind control via a "love charm" (it doesn't work).

#1 - The Finder (10/10)

In The Dark Time, magic is widely mistrusted. Petty tyrants use the once noble art in pursuit of power and glory. Medra, the son of a shipwright in Havnor, has magical talents honed in secret. One day, he curses a ship built for a warlord’s fleet. Unfortunately, he gets caught and sent to a prison camp. There he is forced to use finding magic to locate veins of cinnabar.

The prison exists to refine quicksilver, a substance the most powerful mage on the island believes will turn him into a god. While in the refinery, Medra feels a spiritual connection to a dying slave, a young woman named Anieb. The two of them devise a plan to kill the mage and escape. Medra’s journey eventually takes him to the island of Roke and the founding of its prestigious wizard school. 

‘The dead are dead. The great and mighty go their way unchecked. All the hope left in the world is in the people of no account.’ 

I really enjoyed this novella. The Dark Time is largely unexplored in the stories of Earthsea, so it was interesting to read about it here. I get the feeling that we’re approaching or in the middle of one such time in the real world, so seeing a version of it on the page is depressing yet hopeful. The story is dark; mass feudal warfare, a literal concentration camp in the opening half, widespread enslavement, and abuse of power. But it also offers hope and the promise of change. The story also explores the integral role of women in not only the preservation of magic in a bleak age of humanity, but the very foundation of Roke. 

Medra’s story spoke to me; how he resists the despotic powers-that-be, his connection with Anieb even after her tragic death, and how despite his disillusionment with humanity, he ultimately fights to create a better world. I also thought Gelluk was a horrifying villain. He’s characterized as a soft-spoken, almost kindly man who loves children and animals— yet his narrative thoughts involve burning hundreds of slaves alive in order to better fuel the quicksilver refinery. “Nice doesn’t mean good” taken to an extreme, and a mirror of many villains in the real world. 

Le Guin was anti-capitalist, but that way of thinking seems peripheral in the Earthsea series. The Finder, however, definitely has a Marxist reading in it. A recurring theme is the disenfranchised rising up against the powerful. Indeed both antagonists, who are despotic wizards of great power, are soundly defeated by groups of people they consider powerless. Magic is only considered relevant for the value and power it produces, an idea antithetical to the rest of the series. The quicksilver refinery also embraces anti-capitalist rhetoric; this section focuses on how mass enslavement and death is used to manufacture a meaningless commodity only one person “benefits” from. That’s not even getting into the prison-industrial complex. 

I dunno. This story slaps. It’s not at all what I expected from a Roke origin story.

#2 - Diamond and Darkrose (5/10)

Diamond, the son of a prosperous lumber merchant, struggles to find his true calling in life. His father disapproves of almost everything he does, including his close friendship with the local witch’s daughter Rose. While he loves music, his father derides his talents and forces him to abandon the pursuit. When Diamond shows some  promise in magic, he travels to a neighboring town to serve as the local wizard’s apprentice. But when this path estranges him from Rose, he grows disillusioned.

Rose had looked after herself from an early age; and this was one of the reasons Diamond loved her. With her, he knew what freedom was. Without her, he could attain it only when he was hearing and singing and playing music.

I did not like this story very much. I gave Diamond and Darkrose a 5/10 because it’s competently written (duh), and the protagonist has a character arc not entirely dependent on the central romance. But that’s about all I can say for it.

None of the characters are especially appealing. Diamond’s mentor figures are all extremely narrow-minded. Rose, supposedly his true love since childhood, drops him the moment things become difficult. And Diamond himself is a pushover who only grows a spine and pursues his dreams at the end of the story. I understand that’s his character flaw and his arc is about overcoming that. But due to all these factors, I was annoyed by every major character. The only person I didn’t dislike was Diamond’s mother, who only shows up for a couple of scenes.

Someone please tell me there are love stories out there where the romantic tension is NOT based on a fucking MISUNDERSTANDING. That shit drives me up a wall! It’s so overdone and painful to read.

#3 - The Bones of the Earth (8/10)

Dulse is an aging wizard on the island of Gont, reflecting on his life and relationship with his former apprentice, a young man he calls Silence. But he senses something amiss on the island; a massive earthquake poised to destroy a nearby port town and its inhabitants. To avert disaster, Dulse realizes he must turn to an ancient form of magic taught to him long ago— and he needs Silence’s help to save the town.

In there he knew he should hurry, that the bones of the earth ached to move, and that he must become them to guide them, but he could not hurry. There was on him the bewilderment of any transformation. He had in his day been fox, and bull, and dragonfly, and knew what it was to change being. But this was different, this slow enlargement. I am vastening, he thought.

So I’ve always liked Ogion in the main series; I love the idea of an immensely powerful wizard who lives an unassuming life of silence, contemplation, and appreciation of the natural world. In The Bones of the Earth, we get a glimpse of Ogion through his mentor’s eyes. Ogion’s heroism and how he stopped the earthquake is mentioned several times in the main series, but this is our first look at what actually happened.

Dulse is an unexpected and fascinating perspective character. It would be so easy to tell this story wholly from Ogion’s perspective, but I think making Dulse the protagonist was the right call. In particular, Dulse’s mind is starting to go. Le Guin presents this by utilizing flashbacks and connecting them to the present. This technique conveys Dulse’s disorientation and confusion so the reader experiences it alongside him... it’s hard to describe without actually reading the story. I also loved the little twist at the end regarding where Dulse learned the ancient magic that saves the island. There’s also a strong thematic connection to The Farthest Shore; death and becoming one with the rest of the world.

#4 - On The High Marsh (10/10)

A half-mad wanderer named Irioth comes upon a small settlement on the volcanic, marshy island of Semel. A murrain has been devastating the local cattle population, and Irioth offers his powers as a curer to heal the animals. He settles into a calm rural life with Gift, a widow working a small dairy. Though Gift likes Irioth, and the animals instinctively trust him, she senses something amiss with the man. Soon, Irioth’s dark past threatens to return and disturb the peace.

“Oh, yes,” Irioth said. ���It was my fault.” But she forgave, and the grey cat was pressed up against his thigh, dreaming. The cat’s dreams came into his mind, in the low fields where he spoke with the animals, the dusky places. The cat leapt there, and then there was milk, and the deep soft thrilling. There was no fault, only the great innocence. No need for words. They would not find him here. He was not here to find. There was no need to speak any name. There was nobody but her, and the cat dreaming, and the fire flickering. He had come over the dead mountain on black roads, but here the streams ran slow among the pastures.

This story is a banger. It has a Western vibe— a stranger coming into a cattle town haunted by a mysterious past. Also cowboys. It’s an atmospheric story, and I think hits on the “small rural town” vibe better than Tehanu did. But there were several writing choices I especially liked.

We don’t learn Irioth’s name until a little while into the story; his physical description, temperament, and ability to immediately identify Gift’s true name just by looking at her makes one assume he’s Ged. He’s also got an interesting redemption arc, because it’s presented in a reverse order. We see Irioth’s genuine desire to do good, and his gentle and patient manner with animals and other people. He doesn’t even consider asking for payment for curing the murrain until Gift tells him he should. But there’s a sense that something is off; he’s paranoid, clearly running from something. The use-name he picks is Otak, a fictional ferret-like creature— which Gift asserts looks nice, but has sharp teeth.

Near the end, Ged actually does show up and explain what happened to Irioth. They have pretty similar backstories; both were powerful, arrogant young mages who messed with forces  they shouldn’t have, then went through great personal sacrifice to right the wrong (oh god the initial deception was intentional they’re narrative foils oh god). Ged embraced the darkest aspects of himself to avert calamity. Irioth came to Semel to escape Roke and atone by helping others. One detail I especially liked was that Irioth once considered healing beneath him, but now he takes a deep joy in using it to help. 

#5 - Dragonfly (8/10)

Irian lives a solitary life-- her father is a drunkard living in the ruins of their family’s once prosperous estate. Her closest relationship is with the local village witch, who named her in secret in the dead of night.  When a disgraced young wizard named Ivory comes to town, he sees Irian as a potential conquest. To gain power over her, he hatches a scheme; disguise Irian as a man, travel to Roke, and sneak her into the male-only wizard school— humiliating the great Masters.

But Irian is restless. She knows she has power, but her true nature is a mystery even to her. Irian sees Ivory’s plan as an opportunity to find answers from the most powerful wizards in the world. When the Doorkeeper actually lets her into the school, she finds herself in a magical and political conflict over the future of Roke— and discovers what exactly she is.

“Dark is bad,” said the Patterner. “Eh?”

Irian drew a deep breath and looked at him eye to eye as they sat there. “Only in dark the light,” she said.

This is one of those stories that has a rocky start, but a great second half. The first part of the novella felt dry to me; I’ve read plenty of tales about social outcasts with weird, unexplainable powers. On top of this, a chunk of the early narration is from Ivory’s POV, and he’s a complete tool. That can be a fun perspective to take, and I like the fact that he thinks he’s manipulating Irian when she’s the one pulling the strings. But since he’s an irrelevant character who disappears from the story halfway through, it feels like a waste to devote a huge chunk of the story to him.

However, once Irian arrives at Roke, the story gets much more interesting. Her presence at Roke causes a huge scandal that divides the Masters. Women being forbidden from Roke is a Series Thing at this point, but Earthsea is in an era of change (although I DO question that she’s the first woman to try it). The Finder demonstrated that women were pivotal in the foundation of Roke, something largely erased from history. Barring women stems from a power hungry bigot codifying it into tradition.

Irian finds some unexpected allies--minor characters in the previous books. The Doorkeeper continues to be the coolest motherfucker there. The Patterner is a major character in this story; he was in just one scene in The Farthest Shore, so I liked learning more about him. The Namer is the kind of guy you’d expect to be a stodgy traditionalist, so him siding with Irian is surprising. The Summoner, a heroic figure in previous books and stories, is a sinister villain here. As for the ending, well… if you didn’t see it coming, I’d wonder if you even read Tehanu. The same hints are there.

There were little particulars I liked, such as Irian moving into a decrepit hut that’s definitely Medra’s old home. My favorite detail is that this story has a parallel scene with The Finder. In The Finder, there’s a scene where an antagonist, Early, invades Roke in the form of a dragon. He lands on Roke Knoll, a site of power that reveals one’s true form. It turns him back into a human, leaving him defenseless when the residents of Roke attack him and repel his invasion. The reversal happens in Dragonfly. Irian gets attacked by one of the Masters while at Roke Knoll — and its magic turns her into her true form, a dragon. Props to whoever picked the cover design, since it references both scenes.

#6 - A Description of Earthsea

I’m not rating this since it’s basically a lore dump. It’s a deep dive into Earthsea’s history, languages, cultures, and other relevant world details. It’s the kind of bonus info a lot of fantasy series tack on as reference material.  According to Le Guin, she wrote this to get some idea of the timeline on each of these stories.

As a series, Earthsea has relatively little worldbuilding exposition. Sometimes characters reference legends or historical events, but usually the reader lacks the context to fully understand them. The focus is more on the lives of the characters and their personal experience of the world. I think something like A Description of Earthsea has benefits and drawbacks for the reader. On one hand it's nice to have some definitive information to tie things together. On the other, this does represent a loss of some of the mystery in the story.

I think this is the first thing in the series that even mentions homosexuality, so props for that I guess?

Closing Thoughts

A short story collection is always going to have high and low points. I tend to look at each story individually and score that way, but an average is always misleading. Diamond and Darkrose dragged the score down since there were only five stories total. But I enjoyed the majority of them. I am interested to see where the human/dragon subplot goes in the final installment; I assume Irian will show up at some point? We’ll see.

[leechonspeeddial]

Midnight Shift: Carry On, Citizen Fang

Summary: Something wicked this way comes. If only Resentment could figure out if it was the same thing that stunk up the Burger King. Chapters: 2/? Read on ao3

Straight Kevin had been very understanding about my family emergency – He was super duper cool with manning the restaurant all by his lonesome. Sadly, he wasn't understanding enough to let me get away with not telling Gay Kevin about it – which wasn't very super duper cool of him, now was it?

He didn't even have the decency to offer to call for me, the fucking coward.

"Are you certain it's an emergency?"

I rolled my eyes and skipped over the muddy snow pile blocking the sidewalk. I felt a sense of kinship with the season. Besides the cold and death, Winter went all out when it came to inconveniencing the population.

"Trust me, Kev. If I wanted to blow off work, I'd do it on location. I'm not exactly in a rush to get home, ya know?"

The line went quiet for exactly five seconds and I could picture him doing that breathing exercise he did whenever he was fed up with my shit. I took the opportunity to loudly slurp my mello yello.

Delicious.

"I don't know, you could be ditching to hang out with friends or something. Teens do that. I did that." I almost laughed, as if.

"I spend all of my free time at work and everyone my age thinks I'm pregnant with an incest baby. Bold of you to assume I even have friends."

"You would get friends if you felt like it would inconvenience me. And it would really inconvenience me right now"

"Ugh. Don't be so dramatic. I don't do things just to be a general nuisance," I heard a snort that didn't come from Gay Kevin. "Wait, did you put me on speaker?!"

"What's the word, Res" Not Kevin chimed in before being shushed by Gay Kevin.

"Relax, we're loading the rental. I don't exactly have a free hand."

"So? This only needed to be like two seconds. Take a five or something."

"I'm going to level with you, our new napkin guy gives me real sketch vibes. Any second where we're not loading, it's an additional second we have to spend here. I simply refuse to die in a dilapidated warehouse, Resentment. I refuse."

I crossed the street to take the park shortcut home. A couple of high schoolers were vaping by the swings; they stared at me and I ignored them.

"I think you'd survive. You exude final girl energy"

"Have you ever watched a horror movie? I'd literally die first"

"I watched Practical Magic once" I smirked when Not Kevin groaned.

My satisfaction didn't last long, because no more than a second later, a snowball hit the back of my head. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I couldn't gloat to Edward about having the moral high ground if I murdered every minor annoyance that crossed my path.

It just sucked having to ignore my vampire senses because I had to play human. What was the point of knowing something was coming if you were unable to stop it because you had to keep up appearances? In my opinion, humans should just have to deal with the knowledge of the supernatural. They were big kids, we didn't need to coddle them anymore.

It was 2022, for God's sake.

I turned back scowling and flipped off the fuckers. I recognized High-Pony in the group and decided to give her the soggiest, saddest, AND smallest fries next time she dared enter my work.

Maybe even sprinkle some burnt ones for extra flavor.

"I know what you're doing and I'm begging you to stop. I'm the one who has to deal with him for the next two hours"

"Don't be rude. Not Kevin is a gift," I glared at the group and slowly walked away backwards. At least until they were out of my sight. The Cullens were insane for going back to high school as often as they did.

"Ha. It's nice to be appreciated"

"Truly. Short of a museum, where else are you going to find something so old?"

"Boo. Get new jokes, the material is stale," I rolled my eyes as I shook the snow from my hair. I was rapidly approaching home and I wasn't quite prepared to go in.

For one, how was I supposed to keep my new mystery to myself if that's what Alice saw? It wasn't fair. To think I had only been worried about Big Brother and his thought police...

Reflecting on it though, if Alice saw my mystery man, then wouldn't that mean he was either a vampire or a human? Ergo, something neither mysterious nor interesting.

Disappointing.

"Whatever, gramps"

"Ok, ok. Let's get back on topic –"

"You gotta start trying harder, Chucky. You're far from the only teen girl that calls me ancient on the regular."

"Why are you regularly taking to teenage girls, creep?"

"Guys –"

"That's not what–! I foster kids!"

"Yeah, sure, pervert"

"I'm NOT –"

"OK RESENTMENT, DEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY. HANGING UP NOW"

I stopped walking and stared at my phone. Despite the length of the call, there had been no new messages from my family. I was unsure if that was a good sign.

I took a sip from my drink and was disappointed to find I only had ice left. I wondered if that was thematically significant, or maybe even foreshadowing.

Sigh.

I picked up my pace and tried to empty my mind before arriving home. "No thoughts, head empty" was a good mantra when you lived with a mind reader.

The rest of the walk was fairly uneventful, save for some guy who got attacked by a flock of ducks for getting way too close without enough food. Beware, all amateur wildlife photographers, lest the same fate falls upon you, I guess.

Poor guy even lost his coat. I was happy to assume it was the first casualty under the duck assault.

I slowed down when I finally arrived across the street from my home.  The newest Cullen mansion stood foreboding before me. A concrete monument full of sharp lines and odd angles; despite all of Esme's soft touches, brutalism simply exuded hostility and soullessness. Try as she might, there was a limit to how much you could dress up a giant grey concrete block to make it look approachable – and if we were being honest, it wasn't working.

How's that for a metaphor?

Well. There was no use delaying the inevitable.

I entered the house.

[Scene Break]

Being a half-vampire meant that I always felt at a misstep with everyone around me. To me, humanity was more of a scientific field of study that I took interest in and less of a dearly held-on memento of a bygone era or something that I simply had.

From the vampire side of things, while I was clearly an abomination, my existence didn't require me to be a parasitic blood freak. That put me in a different head space from the rest of my family. For one, I didn't need to agonize over my monstrous nature; secondly, I wasn't a slave to my bloodlust if I kept myself full of human food; and thirdly, there just wasn't much precedent for me to measure up to.

For all we knew, everything I did was the best I could have done.

That was all to say, I always felt like there was something I was missing when interacting with anyone. My point of view was fundamentally a different one, and though some things I could make sense of theoretically, it wasn't the same as first-hand experience.

Standing in the living room, surrounded by my family as they continued to say nothing, I couldn't help but think that perhaps this time the context I was missing had nothing to do with my hybrid status.

Edward paced while looking constipated but everyone else stood motionless and rigidly like the statues they were. Not even Emmett tried to lighten the mood, and that's how you knew it was serious.

"So who's going to who's funeral? Please don't say any of my coworkers, I've grown quite attached to them"

"Renesmee," Edward warned. I ignore him like he ignored my preferred name.

"Is it you pops? Wanna crack open another high school girl and drink her up like grape soda?"

"For once in your life could you stop acting like a brat?" Edward snapped and I flinched.

"Takes one to know one. Maybe if you didn't raise one you wouldn't have to deal with one, dad"

"Enough!" We both turned to look at Carlisle and I could see how unsettled he was. My stomach churned.

"Maybe my vision was wrong. Maybe it wasn't him," Alice sounded desperate, almost like the time the truck transporting her latest Givenchy haul got into a freak accident and the customer service lady told her they couldn't replace her order until after whatever microtrend that had been happening at the time ended.

"No, Alice. I saw your vision. It was. No doubt about it, that face is burned in my memory"

"It just doesn't make any sense, Edward!"

"I know what I saw," he replied forcefully.

Carlisle rubbed at his eyes, and for the briefest of seconds, you could have mistaken him for human.

"What's going on? You guys are scaring me," nothing felt right and all I wanted to do was to get back to the Burger King. At least the Kevins kept me in the loop when potentially life-threatening stuff happened.

"James is back," Bella whispered and I looked at her. Out of all of the Cullens, she looked the least worried. While everyone else's expressions visibly darkened at hearing the name, Bella said the name like she would say any name that wasn't Edward's.

"Who the fuck is James?"

"He was a vampire," Jasper growled.

"So what's the big deal? I don't know if you have noticed, but all of you are vampires"

"Emphasis on the was, Nessie. We ripped apart the bastard a good 16 years ago," Emmet explained. I raised my eyebrow.

"You sure about that? Last I heard, once you killed the undead, they were dead for good. No such thing as an undead undead."

"Oh, damn sure. We tore into him like frenzied piranhas at lunchtime and then lit him like a firework on the Fourth of July," Rosalie lightly hit his arm.

"You don't have to be so graphic about it"

"So it's obviously not him," Edward made a noise filled with frustration.

"Renesmee, I know what I saw. It was him, I would bet my life on it"

"Would you bet Bella's?" was what I almost said but Edward's glare made me reconsider. Just this once.

"Dead people just don't walk around all over the place," I said instead.

"We do," Emmett chimed in.

"We're different!"

"So why not him?"

"Edward is right," Classic Carl Carlisle move. His Golden Child could never be wrong. "I might have heard of something like this happening before."

There was a brief moment of silence before everyone exploded.

"WHAT?!"

Carlisle sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You have to understand, I couldn't verify it at the time."

When he said nothing, Esme made a "well, go on" motion.

"It happened about a decade ago. I only came upon this information because of Eleazar – he had approached me about it because he thought I was involved," Carlisle walked towards a window and stared into the distance like the dramatic bitch he was.

Edward slapped the back of my head.

"He told me heard of rumors of a vampire that had died 50 years ago and who walked the Earth again. You all know about my passion for Theology and my desire to find out what waits for us on the other side, so I promised to look into it. It took a while, but eventually, I heard back from someone"

"Your trip to Carencro," Esme gasped. "You said it was a conference!"

"When was this, I don't remember this?" Carl was holding back no punches in his dramatic reveal.

"It was our semester abroad," that's what Edward like to call the half a year experiment we spent in France. He wanted to see if Bella, him, and I could be a family unit all on our own.

It failed pretty miserably, would never happen again.

"I didn't want to burden you, love. Not unless I knew for sure."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "So what happened?"

Carlisle turned back to us and shrugged.

"I met my informant and they told me to go to this one cafe and ask for Roy. I went there and the manager told me no one with that name worked there"

"So you got pranked," Emmet said.

"I looked around town for a couple of days, and since nothing else came up after my trip to Lousiana, I felt comfortable labeling the whole thing a hoax."

Rosalie scoffed. "And you think that's what's happening here?"

"I think it could be a possibility. This is our only lead"

I thought over what Carlisle just said. Could there really be an afterlife vampires could come back from? And if that was the case, then what happened to Roy? Was Roy even the vampire Elezear heard about?

But most importantly, why now?

"Hey, Alice. Besides James, what else did you see?"

Everyone went quiet and I looked back at them confused.

"I saw us without you"

"I mean, you don't really see me in your visions," I chuckled nervously.

"When I don't see you, it's like I'm looking around something. What I saw...it felt like I would never have to deal with that interference again."

"...Oh"

That didn't sound good.

[forevfangirlwrites]

I'm obsessed with the actors au! first date/kiss for that au?

Part 1: Here (Part 2: Here)

The best thing about Percy’s life is that he has managed to score a date with The Annabeth Chase.

The worst thing about Percy’s life is that he has no fucking clue how he’s supposed to pull this off.

She’s a famous actress. So it’s not like he can just take her to Olive Garden and he does not have the budget for something super fancy and oh, did he mention, she’s famous, so going out in public is going to be an issue and—

He calls Grover.

“I can’t tell if you’re joking,” Grover says in utter disbelief over the line.

Percy groans as he plops down on his couch. “I almost wish I was, this is too stressful. I can’t do it, why did I even say anything?”

Luckily, Grover is his best friend and completely used to rambling that’s usually just a tad dramatic.

“You just need to play to your strengths.”

“Did you just quote a sports movie?”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Yes, please, sorry.” Percy's too desperate. “Continue.”

Grover sighs. “As I was saying, it seems like she just wants to spend some time with you--though I'm still having a hard time believing that you actually scored a date with Annabeth Chase, are you sure it was her?"

"Grover!"

"Sorry, just making sure. Anyway, you should do just that: spend some time with her. And do what you do best.”

“Which is?” he asks, but he thinks he knows the answer. His oven is already on.

“Don’t play dumb, I have no doubt you’re stress baking cookies right now.”

“Okay, okay, but…” he trails off, another thought coming to him. “What if she doesn’t like baked goods?”

“Oh my god Percy, it’s baked goods, who doesn’t like them!”

Grover makes a fair point. (Plus, he’s pretty sure she’s posted stuff on her Instagram that was baked goods.)

So, miraculously, with some help from Grover and the okay from Cali, he manages to pull together something that he hopes is at least halfway decent.

The small, cramped café is already cute, but Percy hopes that by drawing down the blinds and lighting some candles and lamps he’s made it cozier. (He even bought a table cover for one of the two lone tables at the place.)

The bell rings just as he’s finished setting out some plates and his head snaps up as Annabeth Chase, in all her dark jeans and crème blouse glory, walks in. (Seriously, jeans never look that good on anyone and what probably really famous designer thought it was a good idea to have off the shoulder blouses because he might be choking a little right now).

“Hey,” she says softly while he stares.

She laughs and crosses the distance between them to smile sweetly. “Percy?”

“Huh? Yes? Hi, Annabeth, you came, I mean, of course you did, have a seat.” He gets the words out all in one breath and turns towards the counter where he’s laid out some food.

A hand on his arm stops him and forget Jason Grace’s eyes, her touch is electrifying.

“Percy,” she says slowly and he’s afraid he’s fucked things up and the date hasn’t even started. “Does it help to know that I’m nervous too?”

What?

She offers a small smile. “Believe it or not, I don’t normally do this, and I don’t know what’s going through your head but right now, I’m just a girl on a first date, and I’m nervous too. So,” she takes a breath, “let’s just be nervous together, okay?”

He wants to slap himself in the face for being an absolute (insensitive) idiot. But he doesn’t think that would help the situation, so instead he nods.

“Yeah, okay, sorry. Can we start again?”

Annabeth smiles, her first real true smile so far and Percy feels a warmth in his chest. She nods and he thanks every deity in the world

Squaring his shoulders, he turns properly towards her, taking in her appearance with a wide smile, and takes her hand. “You look beautiful,” he says, raising her hand to his lips. “And thanks for, you know...” His brain kinda short circuited when he kissed her hand, but he tries to power through anyway, “joining me tonight.”

She giggles as he pulls out a chair for her. “You look pretty cute too,” she replies with a wink and Percy tries not to have a heart attack.

“You’re cuter,” he argues back, as she slips into her seat. She makes a face and he shoots her a grin as he turns around to get the food.

“I don’t know about that, my view is pretty great,” she calls, and he almost drops the dish of enchiladas he’s made.

He tells his brain to come up with a quick and witty retort. His brain returns an image of Annabeth kissing him that is entirely unhelpful to the situation.

Turning back around with the dish firmly grasped in his hands, all he can manage is making the same face as she did fifteen seconds ago. But at least he doesn’t drop the food. Baby steps.

She laughs and he places the dish in between them, maneuvering around the drinks he’s already set out.

“Clearly you haven’t looked in a mirror,” he retaliates.

Annabeth rolls her eyes and smiles. “How about I call a truce and say that the food looks the best out of all of us. Did you make it?”

 And the nervousness is back as some heat flares up to his cheeks and his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorry if it’s not the best, it’s my first time making them, really and—“

“I’m sure they’re going to be good, now please sit down and have some too, I’m feeling kinda lonely here,” she jokes, but he catches the look behind her eyes. 

He quickly sits down, wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans. Nodding towards the food, he aims for the casual that he had lost the moment he had served the food. “Well? Don't leave me hanging.”

Truthfully, he had already taste tested (he couldn’t serve something bad) and from the little he had, it seemed pretty okay. But that doesn’t stop him from anxiously looking over at her as he serves himself.

Annabeth's eyes widen as she chews and he hopes that's a good sign. “Percy," she says as she finishes up her bite. "This is so good! There’s no way you made them for the first time!”

He blushes again and wonders when he went from being 26 to 16 again. “I had help, my best friend Grover makes it even better.”

“Still. Do you like to cook?” she asks, taking another bite.

“Yeah, but I like to bake even more.”

Seeing her questioning face, he laughs, the tension finally easing from his shoulders. “Yeah, you’ll get to taste some of that later.”

She beams at him. “I can’t wait!”

“What about you? Do you like cooking?”

It’s kind of bizarre to be talking about cooking with Annabeth freaking Chase, but if there’s one thing he’s learned, she’s only human (an amazing, beautiful, talented human in his eyes, but still just human) and he needs to get over himself.

“I wish, I am horrible in the kitchen though.”

“What? No way? You’re telling me the guest star on Cooking with Dionysus can’t actually cook?” He jokes back.

She groans, leaning back in her chair. “Oh my god, that was so nerve wracking. Thankfully, I had a recipe and some help, even if it was snarky help.”

He leans forward. “Is he actually that snarky?”

Annabeth shrugs, her exposed shoulders rising and falling, and he represses a sudden urge to kiss the freckle on her right one. “Hard to tell. I don’t think he hated me though.”

“It must be tough, being around all these famous people, must be a lot of drama.”

She sighs. “Yeah, I mean, it’s a tough industry, but there are some really good ones out there.”

“Like Jason.”

“Like Jason,” she agrees. “I’m glad he told me about this place.” Her eyes wander the room and the nervousness about his choices crops up again.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he blurts, causing her focus to shift back to him.

“Mind what?”

Well now that he’s talked himself into a hole, he has to talk himself out of it. Nervous together, that’s what she had said right?

“That our date is here, I didn’t think being out in public would be the best so I tried to make it as private as possible and this was the only place I could think of that—”

For the second time that night, she cuts him off. “Percy, it’s perfect.” She lays a hand on his across the small table. “You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into this and I really appreciate it, thank you.”

He smiles, the anxiety slowly melting away. “Good, I’m glad, I was just kinda worried about it, you know, and I’m glad that you don’t mind this, so um, thank you,” he ends lamely.

“Don’t worry,” Annabeth assures, squeezing his hand, “I’ll make sure to plan the next one.”

“Next one?” Internally, he’s dying a little, but he has to play it cool you know. So naturally, his voice totally definitely doesn’t crack.

“We’ll see, depends on the baked goods,” she teases back.

He shoots her a conspiratorial smile. “How do you feel about cupcakes?”

As it turns out Annabeth Chase (like most people, as Grover would say) loved the cupcakes and Percy Jackson loved the way the frosting tasted in her mouth when he stole a kiss.

A/N: Thank you for sending a prompt! This AU is the most requested one that I get so I’m glad I was able to write a little first date bit to establish it a little more! I hope you liked it and thanks again!

[dragalialore]

MMMM OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT ALL THAT JUICY GOODNESS IN CHAPTER 16

(spoilers. obviously)

In no real order:

Elisanne resolving her insecurities. The poor girl has been an absolute MESS ever since Harle purposely showed her the exact kind of information that would throw her off her feet. Remember, Elisanne is a Paladyn to the CORE--her entire world revolves around serving church and having the utmost faith in their teachings. The church is closely related to the royal family--recall how the Sacred Shards are said to be fragments of a sword gifted to Alberius, the founder of the kingdom, by Ilia herself. (Or, well, Meene. lol) I’m unsure if we’ve ever heard about any past Auspexes (Auspexi?), but Zethia being both from the royal bloodline and the Auspex of the Ilian church is possibly related. (Maybe their mother was the previous Auspex; it would explain why Zethia took up the mantle at such a young age.) ALL THAT means that Harle revealing to her that the church has been lying about her liege’s origins was a sure-fire way to throw her for a loop. Her faith in Euden was not wavering; her faith in the CHURCH was. This is why, at the end of Chapter 16, she chooses to step down as Grand Paladyn and serve Euden whole-heartedly. She recognizes that the Church’s teaching are not infallible, and that there is no shame in questioning the truths that she knows. This poor girl has been tormented by this anxiety since... what, post-Chapter 11? And she FINALLY found her answer. She doesn’t need the church to be part of her identity, and she doesn’t have to answer to them to have faith. This much is proved when the sheer potency of her prayer, filtered through Zena, purifies Poseidon in one shot.

Leonidas AND Chelle coming to Euden’s aid. FINALLY, the siblings are working together! With the glue that bound them previously, Morsayati, slurped up by their Hot Topic sibling, Leo and Chelle are FINALLY able to move more freely. The cracks in Leo’s armor that Alex found have been widening since Chapter 12; she has a fucking point there. Agreeing to be UNDER someone is the antithesis of Valkaheim’s, and by extension Leonidas’s, ideals. He’s the first-born fucking heir. He shouldn’t have to answer to ANYBODY. So why is he agreeing to be so subservient under a clear evil? The answer is a little clearer when you look at Chelle: the core of Chelle’s character is that she is always planning ahead. I have zero doubt that the second Morsayati offered his deal she was going to take him up on it, because Chelle is always playing every side. There’s no better place to keep an eye on the enemy than at the enemy’s side, and the proof that she was never with Morsayati in the first place is in both Chapter 11 and 12, where she intentionally sabotages the battle in ways favorable to Euden--Chapter 11 where she gives Emile control over androids that he DEFINITELY can’t handle, and 12 where she lets Euden walk right through her camp. There’s also the fact that while Morsayati was in power, they had their own city-states to worry about. Chelle and Leonidas have a responsibility to Chanzelia and Valkaheim respectively; while 16 shows that they’ve been mostly ignoring the rest of the territory, to abandon their own kingdoms would be unthinkable.

Leonidas’s seemingly heel-face turn. I’m not saying he HASN’T gotten character development; we all remember when Leo was introduced as the crazy maniacal first-born who experimented on his pact dragon and blew up his hired assassin without hesitation. I AM saying that Euden’s screaming match with him in the climax of Chapter 12 definitely got to him. Ever since Euden challenged his ideals, rescued him from certain death, and treated him without asking for anything in return, Leonidas has been significantly more subdued. He’s always thought of himself as the strongest and the best, and instead he got his ass handed to him by his youngest sibling that was using a dragon elementally inferior to his own. AND he got chided by his own ex-subject, WHO HE LITERALLY TRIED TO BLOW UP. Talk about a reality check! From then on, interludes do touch on how Leo is keeping track of Euden; probably through Chelle’s network. Despite it being clear that he knows Euden’s movements, he doesn’t really... do that much to stop him, even when Euden launches an attack on Sol Alberia. His sudden character 180-flip isn’t quite so sudden--it’s the culmination of four chapters of reflecting why his kid brother handed his ass to him. It wasn’t the power of friendship, or even his raw strength. Euden’s conviction is what’s let him smash through obstacle after obstacle, and as soon as Leonidas realizes that conviction is shaken, he doesn’t hesitate to help. Leonidas is, and always has been, about valuing strength--and this time, he recognized a different kind of strength in his little brother.

The acknowledgement of the state of New Alberia. Whatever the kingdom’s name is right now, it’s super fucky. New Alberia and Dyrenell’s clashes, along with Euden’s tunnel vision for Zethia’s rescue, have left the whole of southern Grastaea in shambles. Faith in the royal family is at an all-time low because they’ve all been squabbling amongst each other without much thought for the common people. Yes, Euden and his folks make it a point to shepherd people to the safety of New Alberia’s borders, along with making regular rounds to take out fiends, but his quest to defeat Dyrenell (read: save Zethia) is all that’s really on his mind. Laxi and Mascula are most definitely parallels to Euden and Zethia; Euden is apt to run into situations without a second thought, not hesitating to fight if it’s clear talking won’t work. Zena, on the other hand, has basically been Euden’s braincell for the last two chapters: Euden is ready to do something dumb, and then Zena says “hey Euden maybe don’t do that actually” and Euden immediately settles down. I’m pretty sure the primary reason she was included in the main cast was so she could act as Euden’s conscience, and the last two chapters have not proven me wrong.

Euden’s potential origins. SO I’ve seen theories floating around about Euden being a changeling or fairy child since the Chapter 12 interludes, and it looks like they’re confirmed in this chapter. Euden’s true nature seems to be the son of an important faerie, Finlorda. However, knowing what we do about faerie lore, it’s got everyone wondering if Euden’s wings were removed to preserve the illusion of him being human. I’m not super sure what to think--I mean, fae lore dictates that faeries reach a period in their adolescence when they get big, but for this whole ruse to work, it would mean that Euden’s been human-sized since the beginning. Does taking a faerie’s wings completely absolve them of their magic? (Note I have yet to read Meene’s story; my perspective may change.) Euden coming from the faerie kingdom casts questions on Notte, too--we know that Zethia found her in the garden after she tried to convince dragons that they were kin. Who is she, really, and why doesn’t she remember anything about the faerie kingdom? Something hinky is going on, and hopefully it’ll be explored in Chapter 18 when they reach the kingdom.

The assurance of Euden’s place in his family. This. THIS is why Euden had such a major freakout. The absolute, gut-wrenching TERROR that he’s been ignoring his country’s plight, his friend’s pleas, all of that for a girl that might not even consider him her brother. That all the mistakes and sacrifices he’s made have been pointless. And let’s also point out that Leonidas REFUSES to recognize Euden as his own brother in his introduction chapter! He literally calls Euden a grain of dust. And yet this chapter. THIS CHAPTER has Leonidas EXPLICITLY telling Euden that regardless of his origins, he considers Euden to be his brother. Those are the words that Euden needed to hear. That is the reassurance Euden was desperate to have. This is the first time anyone OTHER THAN Zethia/Zena has properly acknowledged Euden as family; Phares uses it in passing, Emile hates his guts and insults him, and Beren mocks him with it. His oldest brother and sister heartfeltedly telling him that he is their brother was what Euden needed, and I am so very glad that he got it.

Chelle joining the main party. The first mainworld royal party member! FUCK YEAH!!! I know a lot of people thought it would be Leonidas, with all that emphasis on him in the preview, but like, c’mon. Of course his little sister would steal the spotlight. Plus she has an entire moving ship, so no more camping in the woods for the main party! Woo!!!! It also gives us an opportunity to see how she runs things, and more specifically, how it’ll work in the main cast’s favor now that she’s finally not explicitly against them. I’m super excited. (And hey, Leo might be the next Gala along with Poseidon. Who knows?)

All in all, this was, perhaps, THE most emotionally satisfying chapter Dragalia Lost has put out. Fears were assuaged, families were reunited, problems were solved... someone please put the Stefon meme here. This chapter has everything: family love, guns, sexy new outfits, the characters you love finally being happy...

[popculturebuffet]

New X-Men Xtrospective Part 2: Germ Free Generation (Annual, #117-120)

Hello all you happy mutants! And welcome back to my look one of my faviorite runs of one of my faviorite super teams by one of my faviorite comic book writers!

For those of you just joining us.. it’s been a while. I did the first instalment of this retrospective back in early January as a present to my friend for christmas, as he had never read E is for Extinctoin and what with this run being vital to the current, utterly brilliant Krakoa era of X-Men. But with both Black History Month and Valentine’s day, February had no real room for this one and march ended up being just as crammed with me doing essentially the entire della arc of ducktales in one month. I didn’t mean for this retrospective to get pushed so far back, but since I gave up doing weekly coverage of Final Space I had some room on the schedule so this retrospective is back with a vengance with two entries this month and hopefully at least one a month afterword to keep it at a decent clip. 

Last time I covered the background of this run and didn’t really find much for the issues after, so I won’t have to spend as much time on background. 

So since i’ts been a few months, a refresher is probably in order

PREVIOUSLY, ON X-MEN:  Our merry mutants enterted a marvelous new era. As Charles redidciated to the dream with new equipment and a new uniforms our hero encounter a new villian: The Mysterious Cassandra Nova, a powerful telepath who used an uwitting patsy from the trask family and a defucnt sentinel factory to slaughter the mutant nation of Genosha, killing 16 million mutants in the most horrific act of genocide against mutants ever known. And the fact there has been more than one genocide against mutant kind MIGHT, just MIGHT be the reason they blackmailed for peace with life saving drugs instead of helping willingly and freely in the current comics. Just maybe. 

Cassandra was captured by the X-Men soon after but escaped and nearly got a hold of Cerebra only to be stopped thanks to a combination of former enemy, genoshan resident at the time of the genocide, and that bitch Emma Frost who snapped her neck and Charles himself who uncharacteristically shot Cassandra in the head. That night Charles took a bold step over that would change the X-Men forever and told the world on live tv:

While all of this was going on we got caught up on the team’s personal struggles, currently consisting of Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast and Wolverine with Emma joining as of the issue we’re about to cover. Beast is grappling with a secondary mutation that makes him look like Aslan, the jesus of narnia and all lions. Meanwhile Scott and Jean are grappling with their non existant sex life as Cyclops possesion by Apocalypse shortly before this story has severely rattled him and caused him to close himself off emotionally. 

So that’s where we pick up. Our heroes are now no longer hiden saftely in the shadows from a world that hates and fear them but are out front and center with the world watching. And we’ll see both how that helps their cause and how it puts them directly in the cross hairs under the cut.  Content Warning: This review discusses Transphobia and a scene involving a school shooting. If either of these are a trigger for you or something you do not want to read about  please skip this part of the retrospective for your own well being. Thank you and have a lovely day. 

The Man From Room X:

We have three stories today: an annual that introduces our final team member and the main villians of our next arc, a one off that moves the main plot for the first 12 issues along, and a three part arc about said villains.  Before we get into the Annual, I have to talk about it’s weird gimmick: The issue is entirely sideways. I don’t mean it’s bad though some parts are problematic I mean when bought it’d be on it’s side and in my trade I have to flip the whole thing over on it’s side to read it. It’s just a .. weird choice. Not the weirdest thing about this issue somehow but not unexpected from Grant as they like to play with the formula. 

We open in said Room X, a location in China where a mutant named Xorn is kept and showed off to a mysterious group of dickweeds in suits representing “Mr. Sublime”.  His jailer, General Aao Jun,, shows him off as most bad guys would : By undoing his helmet and thus disntegrating two innocent children just by looking at them. Sublime says they have a deal. 

Meanwhile also in China the X-Men are there for a funeral and Emma and Scott trade insulting questions back in forth: She mocks him about his lack of sex with Jean lately and he brings up her criminal past. As for why Emma’s still with the x-men.. it’s out of pragmatisim. WIth Genosha gone, the x-men are the saftest faction to throw in with. 

As for why the X-Men are in China, Charles has rapidly expanded his operations now he’s public by setting up X-Corps, a multinational humantarian aid organization dedicated to helping mutants in need wherever they sprout up. He’s set up offices in Hong Kong, Amsterdam, Mumbai and Melborne. 

He’s also half assed it, at least for the Hong Kong office and only gave them two employees: Domino, who those of you not as familiar with the comics may remember from deadpool and Risque.. who I honestly had never heard of before New X-Men and frequently forget existed. I just looked her up for the first time and she’s a minor mutant who was an associate of X-Force and Warpath’s love intrest. She could compress matter causing it to implode. My assumption here is that Morrison simply picked a minor mutant at random for the job. 

But yeah naturally with only two mutants charged with, according to domino “All of asia” went horribly and the x-men are there for Risque’s funeral and to find out what happened. Unsuprisingly it’s tied into our cold open: Risque had found evidence of a mutant trafficking operation and died fighting them off and Dom is naturally f eeling in over her head since said operation involves the chinese goverment, who according to her exccute most mutants at birth and John Sublime and his cult. 

We soon see a press confrence from this asshole and find out what his deal is: Sublime is the head of the U-Men, a group that belivies they are a “third species” of mutants trapped in human bodies that deserve to have the surgery to make them into mutants, and thus wear weird suits until the world is pure and allows them to have surgery for it. 

Yeahhhh this.. this is really fucking uncomfortable and is going to be present throughout today’s piece so let’s just go ahead and rip that band-aid off:  The U-Men come off as HIGHLY transphobic. They use terms similar to trans people call themselves trans species and are trapped inside a body they don’t belong in. It’s VERY uncomfortable to read as a result and something that hadn’t really sunk into till thsi reading but once it had.. oh god does this not age well. 

The one thing that keeps this from runing the run and Grant Morrison as a whole for me.. is that I do not think for one second it was intentional. Grant themself is genderqueer, nonbinary and a cross dresser. None of this means they CAN’T be prejudice, being Queer does not magically make you immune to being prejudiced. But before this Grant had the genderqueer sentient street Danny the Street over in doom patrol and a trans main character in his book the invisibles, Lord Fanny. And given New X-Men’s biggest flaw as a whole is clumsy early 2000′s unforutnate implications such as a good chunk of the things about Cyclops affair with Emma, we’ll get to that at the right time, Angel in the next arc and Dust, who was introduced as from afganastan wearing an outfit not seen in the country and speaking a language not spoken in the country. Grant didn’t make these mistakes TWICE, it’s why I still have respect for them, and this won’t be the first or last comic i’ve forgiven for being stupid for it’s time. But I will still call Grant out when I see it. Just because I respect an author just because they changed my life does not mean I won’t call them out when they fuck up. And if they prove to be truly vile, have harmed someone or what have you I will cut them the fuck out of my life. I’ve done it with JK Rowling, Warren Ellis, Brad Jones and Joss Whedon. I would do it with Grant if I truly belivied they were transphobic and instead didn’t just write something very stupid without thinking the metaphor through 20 years ago. 

So anyway back to the comic book bollocks as Wolvie and Dominio prepare for an infiltration and flirt a bunch. We also find out Jun is a mutant himself with a power only Grant could dream up: his skin, hair and what have you that falls off him turns into a naked golem for a bit before expiring. And if you hadn’t read this issue before reading this review, yes that actually happened. While the first arc had a BIT of Grant’s trademark batshit insanity, the series REALLY starts to pick it up from here: This issue has a mutant with functioning star for a head, a poorly thought out bucnh of sci fi new age organ theives, and a general whose power is “makes naked clones out of his dandruff”. Oh and his fondest wish?

I just... I don’t know how to respond to that. I don’t know how you respond to an old man’s weird murder fetish that he tells a somehow even creepier cult leader while said cult leader is paying him to buy a star man, and their both surronded by the creepy old guy’s skin golems that weirdly look like mudokons. Look i’ve  read Grant’s entire utterly bonkers run on doom patrol. I’ve seen a man who looks like a question mark use a bicycle that makes everyone high like their on LSD for president. And THIS is what breaks me. 

So while.. THIS is going on, Dom and Wolverine plan to do it all night long on the professor’s credit card, no really he gives all his professors carte blanch to use school fun, and inflitrate, Dom through the elvator this horrorshow just took place in and Wolvie james bond style. Also I gotta say I REALLY love how Morrison writes Domino. She’s wittiy, entertaining and her power is as awesome as always, super luck if you didn’t know. It’s a real shame he didn’t add her to the team: She wasn’t on any other x-teams, with X-Force having been rebranded into X-Statix by this point. She would’ve been a fun addition to the cast. 

Naturally wolverine is found out.. but that was the entire plan, for him to serve as a distraction then cut his way to domino while she steals something from the vault. As for the rest of the X-Men, Cyclops, Beast and Emma are all downstairs in the parking garage and find a secret entrance. Jean is not on this trip and that’s a major plot point for this run. This is where Risque died.. and it only get’s worse when Hank goes inside, finding a bug like child, basically htink a giant caterpillar but with tons of human arms inttead of legs with her wings cut off. 

Thankfully as Logan and Dom escape above, the U-Men are dumb enough to storm down bellow.. and while they incapacitate beast with some launched tiny knives, designed to incapcicate but leave them in tact for harvest, Emma beats the shit out of them and get the info out as only she can....

Granted she could’ve just turned back to normal and used her telepathy.. but what fun would that be? Plus they have blockers and you know CUT UP A FUCKING CHILD. SO yeah fuck them, let emma have her fun. 

Thanks to her they find out the U-Men are a front for illegal organ harvest, and while they can’t prove sublimes attached Emma suggests killing him.  Good idea but Scott suggests the lighter approach and we find out what Dom stole, a key, something Emma can psychcially scan. She warns it might take her a bit to get something.. only to be flooded instantly and we find out who the man in the box was. Shen Xorn... i’ll let emma tell you more herself. 

It’s stuff like this why, despite some serious flaws like the U-Men debacle and some stuff to come, some I mentioned above other that’s just with the plot that i love this run. Morrison just gets how to really tell an x-men story and the real tragedy of being a mutant. That just for being diffrent, you get shut out, or in this case thrown into a box when you could’ve and should’ve been something more. As emma turns herself to diamond to deal with the psychic backlash, Beast has some solemn words to share. 

That night Scott rests in his bedroom while presumibly hearing some truly horrific and sexy things next door while talking to jean before clocking out.. only for Emma to head in in a sexy dress with champagne. What happened? Well we won’t know for sure for most of the run. 

The next day the U-Men prepare to load and we get some scrap of what the idea was supposed to be: John talks to Ao Jun about his procedures. We see wings crudely sewen to his back and his throat implaants hurting “But one day I will fly”. THe IDEA is their supposed to be lunatics, people who envy mutantkind but don’t actually respect their culture or their sense of personhood. It’s not the worst idea and had Grant not used trans termnology for htis, it would’ve been a great one. I think he INTENDED for them to be coopting the idea of being trans and what not to maks their true intentions.. which is problematic due to debates like the ones on bathrooms where a lot of transphobic asshats make the bad faith argument a bunch of people are going to pretend to be trans to assault people. 

We’re.. we;’re not even to the main storyarc yet. 

But things soon go wrong as Xorn’s starhead starts to collapse into a black hole, with no solution as the x-men took the key to his helmet.. and assault the compound. Turns out the star collapse thing is Jun’s revenge on humanity for lockig him down here and he gets his neck snapped.  Scott has a solution though.. and it’s stuff like this why I fucking love Scott Summers and get annoyed when people call him “boring”: He realizes Xorn is comitting sucicide.. so he’s going to talk him out of it. Not just for everyone else but he deserves to live. And while Emma points out only logan among htem knows chinese and she can’t get through to Xorns’ head due to the way his brain works, Scott has a simple workaround: Use the nearest chineses speaker to teach Scott chinese. So.. with that he talks to Xorn. 

And that my friend is Scott Summers. A man who faced with powerful man whose given up, whose lost all hope... convinces him he can still go on. That living’s better than dying.. and that it does get better. The issue closes with Xorn basking in the sunlight for the first time in decades while Domino sweats having an extremley powerful unknown mutant out in the world. Scott’s already thought of that.. and signed him up with the x-men. Granted it won’t be until our next article that he actually fully joins the team, but w’ell get to that next time. 

This issue is great... while the U-Men stuff is pretty bad and isn’t going to get better, the tale of xorn is excitiong, Aao Jun is an intresting antagonist and the sideways gimmick suprisingly works. So now we’ve finshed our apitizer let’s get on to the main course. 

Danger Rooms:

We open in well.. the Danger Room with Beast training a new student. 

This is Beak. Beak is my faviorite character Morrison came up with and one of my faviorite X-Characters. Beak is a bird like boy who can fly, it’s just a struggle and due to looking diffrent and not having the most impressive power has very low self esteem. It’s also part of something Morrison took a concerted effort to do: introduce more mutants with genuinely odd apperances and drawbacks. Like we saw with Ugly John last time and Aao Jun in the previous issue, Morriosn really likes adding weird mutants but he also uses it to give a genuine downside to being one. While this isn’t NEW to x-men, Morriosn upped the scale and number of characters like this with weird powers and apperances. We see a bunch of human passing ones too but the backgrounds just jammed with all sorts of unique designs and students. It’s also the point where the school became far more crowded like the movies, a good call on my part both to help those coming in from the movies, and to help sell the mutant baby boom going on. After all it wouldn’t make sense if the school was just about 5-7 students and a bunch of grown adults doing superhero stuff like usual would it.

But we get to see that Hank is a good teacher, as he reminds the boy that he’s getting better and won’t be an x-man overnight, and worries about him to the professor, wanting the boy not to slip through the cracks, figuratively, and not to feel like an outcast.. especaily here. But Hank dosen’t feel blue for long, metaphorically he was blue long before he became the lion minus the witch and the wardrobe, as he has a date to night.. and so does Charles. 

Or rather he did.. his girlfriend trish, a long time love intrest of his and a reporter.. breaks up with him. Over voice mail. While in washington. And the reasons she gives are not great

Yes Hank’s transformation is radical.. but not only was it not his choice... she’s being a coward, sending the message it’s okay to dump someone because hteir a mutant or because they happen tobe diffrent and that efffects your career. Again it’s moments like this that make the run soar over the more awkward bits. 

Meanwhile Logan’s off doing logan stuff, i.e. gazing at a deer. Wow. Jean followed him. Both notice a space ship: Despite recently outing himself as a mutant, leading to an increased number of students and a bunch of rioting morons at the gates, Charles has decided NOW’S a good time to take a vacation to the Shiar empire. As for why Jean’s really out here, her marriage to Scott isn’t doing so good and while Logan encourages her to stay it’s just not that simple: Her telekenisis is coming back, stronger than ever. She feels the most alive she’s been while he’s shutting her out and feeling his deadest. She tries to turn to logan for comfort but he shuts her down. Just wait two decades jean... he’ll open up to a threesome. In all seriousness though having Jean try and come onto Logan .. will backfire slightly on later storylines. But we’ll get to that eventually. 

In the basement Hank is studying Cassandra or rather a virtual version of her since her body is naturally in storage. And he’s found out something disturbing: She’s Charles Genetic Twin.. oh and it gets way worse. The Professor’s weird behavior? Barely staffing the hong kong office, leaving suddenly with rioters t the gates, outing himself? About that...

Cassandra tourtures Hank with the possiblity he’s devovling and then tries to mind controlli him into cleaning himself with his diploma when Beak enters. The good news is this allows hank to shake off her control and tackle her, showing off why hank mccoy is fucking awesome in the process. 

That is the Hank McCoy I know, love.. and miss dearly. The one we’ll probably never get back sadly after what others did and what Percy’s had to do to reconclie with all they did. 

Unfortunately beak being around means cassandra can force him to beat beast into a coma with his bat. She plans to tear Charles dream down around him and make him watch.. and cryptically says he tried to kill her. She then cheerfully leaves Jean in charge.. and talks about just how much damage one could do with an entire interstellar empire in the wrong hands....

This issue is also excellent and sets up the next two arcs nicely while giving us a nice peak in hank’s head. Great stuff. The artist also hid the word sex in a lot of the images see if you can find them. 

Germ Free Generation Issue 1: 

So now we get into our main story for today. This story and the one before it were drawn by Ethan Van Sciver whose a talented artist.. but also highly contrversial for being a conservative. I myself.. don’t know what he’s said or did, though calling himself “Canceld Superstar’ on twitter really isn’t a good sign. So I really can’t comment on it but I also know someone would mention it if I didn’t bring it up and if you know what he did please enlighten me. 

So we open with a school shooter who also scooped out a guys eyes and is part of the U-Men. He get shot by the swat team while making his speech> it’s an effective opening but one that’s become more uncomfortable to read with each passing day due to school shootings going up and up in number. And mass shootings in general and I... I need a second. I need something to relax me

Thank you Stoopy. Your doing Odd’s Work. 

So the news reports on this and we soon see how Jean watches the news.. by using Cerebra to read the minds of every person on the planet. Neat. Everyone’s talking about them. We also get a hint for later as we hear on the suicide of one martha johanson who wrote the note in her own blood. She’ll be important later.... and I mean that both in the context of this retrospective and for the fact she’ll go on to be part of x-men in perpetuity. 

This is also where another great concept of Morrison’s pops up: Mutant culture. After all mutants are a minority, they should have their own culture. It’s something Hickman’s era has taken and ran with, but it’s a damn good idea and one that it shoudln’t of taken almost 20 years for someone else to use given Decimation was undone way back around 2012 in Avengers Vs X-Men, aka that event half hte articles on the mcu around the fox sale used as either their image for the article or asked about happneing. And yes that is a pet peeve of mine: while I do think like Civil War AVX could use a movie version to make it better, I don’t think it’s an event that could be done right away and would have to be almost entirely redone anyway given the context for AvX is entirely couched in decimation i.e. something NO ONE wants in any x-adaptation. 

So it turns out while watching the news in a next level way Jean is also talking to Logan. “Stay out of my personal fantasies”. Yeah I .. I don’t think your ready for a hairy canadian dry humping a transformer.. specifically killbison. And yes.. that is an actual transformer and why yes, I have been waiting to bring him up. 

And he is , and I am not making any of this up, part of a group of decpticons known as the breastforce. Your life is better for knowing that and you are welcome. 

Anyway as you’d imagine a genocidal old woman in her brothers’ body leaving the X-Men to fend for themselves after having a teenager bludgeon one into a coma after publicly outing them with a rabid bunch of bigoted morons at the gates has not gone great. Henry is still out and despite the short staffing Jean needs logan to stay where he is as he’s close to an emerging mutant and within range to go get her. 

Emma of course has never been so fucking irate in her whole life and is plotting various forms of psychic tourture with the help of her proteges the Stepford Cucokoo, 5 teenage mutants who functoin best as a unit and are easily some of MOrrison’s most prominent additions to the x-cast. Unlike a lot of the x-kids, they’ve been featured prominently in every era of x-men after this including the current one. 

Jean decides for a less “Make them hate us even more” approach, but no less pissed off, opening the gates and going out directly to chew out the assembled bigoted morons, pointing out the ones carrying “Mutants Go Home!” signs are especailly dumb as this IS her home. And while she dosen’t point this part out, it’ the same for all of them: most of the mutants are either adults who choose to live here, teenagers who along with their parents choose to live here, or in the majority teens who have no where else to go due to either being abandoned by their families or it being way to dangerous for said families for them to stay due to bigoted assholes like the ones holding mutants go home signs. 

A member of the press asks if she’s willing to talk to the media and she refutes most of his bullshit allegations: He asks if their building an army, she and Scott respond they are not and are simply educating mutants and protecting them. When he counters with the fact their living weapons and wearing uniforms... she counters with the fact she’s wearing them to protect herself, rightfully, from people like her, and the x-men are an aid orginzation going where needed to protect the world and while asshole points out no one apointed them.. jean shuts him down by pointing out there are no mutants in goverment and a genocide just happened, so someone has to do the job. Another random asshole tries to pipe up with “Genosha declared war on us” and Emma senses this is just going to go round and round and round and simply presses the assembled mob’s “bliss buttons” in their brains to knock them out. Non violent but honestly warranted: A dangerous part of bigoted assholes is they’l bring up racist bullshit to try and couch it like an actual conversation. None of these complaints really hold water if you looked at the x-men’s history for more than 5 minutes. Yes Charles is training them to fight and yes hte ingial class was an army but every class since has only been trained for self defense: they still got into adventures and what not, but it was usually by their own choice or because they were thrust into them by circumstance. Xaviers is exactly what jean said and endudgling these morons, while good on paper, only makes them seem legit. 

Jean retreats to the infirmary where she’s on the verge of breaking down from the sheer weight of everything. Cyclops proves that despite not being the best husband right now... he still loves his wife, offering to go look into Sublime with Emma and hoping Hank wakes up. Turns out his mind for now is a big blank room.

So she can’t get any info off his skull, and neither of the two think what happened with Beak adds up. Something is up here. Their also coming down with colds which will be important later. And just as important.. Magneto is becoming a symbol among people and merch sales with his image are on the rise.  We then get this. 

So Jean is trying to be a supportive, honest wife, and while the questions incredibly insulting.. his answer is equally so. Spoilers, as mentioned we do get an answer long after this.. and they did not. So Jean is wrong to be suspcious, at this point, but is at least trying to be polite about it and gave him the benifit of the doubt.. and Scott basically said he slept with her without actually saying it despite not having to. You could’ve said “no we did not have sex, we simply talked all night”. It’s not ENTIRELY better given the horrible state of their relationship right now, but it’s still better than HEAVILY implying he rocked her body to the break of dawn for no damn reason. 

So we meet our next major addition to the cast Angel Salvador, an abused teen who is a mutant.. and whose abusive and molesting step dad beats her and throws her out over this. The scene’s a bit overdone, coming off like an after school special.. but it’s what happens AFTER that’s truly heartwrenching. 

A poor scared teenager clutching herself, finding herself homeless alone and desperatly wishing she wasn’t what she was. It’s just a striking image and shows how well Grant uses the mutant metaphor. I could easily see myself in that position had my parents not been good peopl and had I come out far sooner as bi. The idea of desperatly hoping your not what you are simply becaus eof what hell it brings, despite all the joy it can bring too. . it’s heartbreaking to hear. 

Naturally though things don’t get much better as the next morning the U-Men have found her, calling her a freak and successfully kidnapping her.. if only because while she uses acid spit to escape, she flies into a power line. 

We then get Sublimes meeting with Emma and Scott and a BETTER use of teh u-men as while Grant made the horrible mistake of calling them “transpecies”, seriously what the fuck were you thinking, the way sublime frames it here is a MUCH better, much less accidently bigoted concept. 

The idea isn’t bad: A group of humans jealous of the mutants powers, blatantly ignoring the horrible downsides and mountain of persecution that comes with being one. Grant just made the mistake of couching in in Trans metaphors, clearly trying to have the U-Men steal from Trans People too as a way to make themselves seem legit. And I say if you want superpowers.. fine.. wanting to be a superhero or a mutant is fine, the issue with the U-Men is their copoting a culture, trying to be part of mutantkind without having any of the drawbacks and by actively butchering them. It’s why the concept HAS shown up elsewhere; it’s not TERRIBLE, Grant just made a bad creative choice that’s only gotten worse as Transphobia has ramped up further and further. 

Sublime denies it when our heroes bring up Hong Kong.. but naturally he’s simply just keeping them talking long enough to bring out his trump cards, an army of u-men and a brain in a jar he uses to incapacitate them.. and announces his plan to use the school as an organ farm for his third species. 

Meanwhile Logan finds the U-Men in their truck preparing to rip angel apart.. and given he snikit’s soon after.. i’ts very clear whose REALLY about to get ripped apart. 

Germ Free Generation Part 2: 

Part two begins wth Sublime monologoging about how Mutantkind are just cattle to them and reveals the brain is martha’s, her sucicide having been faked and her brain currently being controlled to use as a weapon. 

So while Johnny monlogues we find out what happened with Wolverine last issue he didn’t cut up the guys yet as they fired their little flichete guns at him... it was about as useful and effective as you’d expect and the massacre you were expecting occurs. Though in a nice bit of reality the fact wolverine’s soaked in blood and just killed a bunch of blood shockingly does not make the already frighttend teen feel he’s safe and she spits acid on him. Logan pours some stuff on the acid, figuring rightly a black ops murder farmacy would have something to counteract it and tells her she’s safe now .. and tells the guy behind him not to try it. He’s stupid and does anyway and likely gets a claw to the head off panel. 

They go to a diner to eat and find a local asshole who threatens them with a shot gun to leave once angel uses her power to digest and goes on a rant about how he snapped his own son’s neck to prevent him being born a freak. Just.. fucking hell this arc is not good for my depression. We get some more angst from Angel and whiel her dialouge is not the best, i’ts a too bit mark millar flavored edgelordy for my taste and if I wanted that i’d go read Ultimates or Ultimate X-Me, her pain is real and Logan helps her through it. 

Back at the Mansion the U-Men are on their way to strike, whlie Jean unaware continues to buckle under the weight of all the shit she’s had to deal with, feeling SOMETHING is making them weak with the colds and something worse is going on and thus tries going to Beak’s mind instead and gently helps talk him through it, showing her grace and empathy.. and in return finding out Charles was the one responsible. The alarms flair up and Jean tries calling the police now that’s an option.. but it goes exactly how you’d expect. 

Also a second artist took over for this issue and the next Igor Kordey. He’s fine, but not nearly as good as Quitely or Van Sciver and it shows. Meanwhile Beast awakens and heads for the body drawer with Cassandra’s body, and professor’s mind in it. 

However Jean’s finally had enough and got her second wind. She’s outgunned, outmanned and left to her own devices. And she’s fucking fed up with it. She steels herself and assembles the students. This is obviously a last resort.. but some of them can defend themselves and their going to need to. But today they won’t be learning.. they’ll be teaching and as the U-Men call them defensless Jeans simply asks “Are you sure about that?”

Germ Free Generation Part 3:

So we come to the finale of this arc. Angel is once again an ungreatful brat to logan and he opts to just leave her there if sh’es going to be like that pointing out being a mutant sucks, it’s going to keep sucking.. and she needs to deal with it instead of lashing out at him and herself over it. 

We get back to the U-Men, one of whom is utterly flabergasted they want to him to cut of Cyclops head... only for Emma to awaken.. and take back her regular form meaning she has her telepathy back. The only reason they were able to get her ealier is she was in diamond mode which is stronger but lacks that, a nice way to check and ballance her new powers. She quickly takes them out and disables Martha. 

Back at the school we get one of Jean’s definting moments for me and a true chance to show how badass she can be. Before this while Morrison wrote her well, and his version’s still my favoirite, she didn’t really get to do much and was motly in the background. This arc has been her time in the limelight, having trouble grappling with all the stress of running this place by herself.. and emerging from it stronger, more capable and ready to kick some racist weirdo ass. She tries a few diffrent tactics first, having a mutant with a voice power project it to make them think their san invisible army and having the cuckoos fuck with their heads but when both fail, Jean REALLY gets to show off. Thier blade ammo gets turned into a cool looking 3 dimensioinal shape with her telekneisis, and in a cool moment and a wise use of something gross makes the only one of them with useable powers throw up, before issuing a badass boast, wreathed in flames all while she crumples their guns into uselessness. and tears open their suits. 

Bad ass.. and logan and Angel arrive just in time for the cecendo as hte u-men flee in terror

The Phoenix has been Reborn. Jean Grey has risen from the ashes and returned to full power. 

Meanwhile Sublime is pankcing.. and it gets worse when Emma shows up, fully enraged after all of this and has some words for him. 

Iconic. Emma prepares to drop him out of a building but Scott rightly tries to get her to back off, pointing out the pr nightmare it’d create and the fact that they have enough evidence ot shut him down. Martha however has other ideas and gets him to let go of his own accord, falling to his death.. but given he’d aranged a stunt for the press apparently this gives our heroes deniability and Martha her revenge. 

So we end this three parter as Jean revels in her new power, and Beast returns with an announcment:

Final Thoughts for Germ Free Generation:  This arc is pretty good if forgetable. The struggle of Jean to run the school herself and her rising from the ashes of her own pain at the end with the power of the phoenix at the end is fantastic, finally both giving her a chance to shine.. and a worrying sign for her friends given what her phoenix force copy whose memories she has a copy of, long story, did is awesome. The other parts are okay and ehhhhhhhhh though. Scott and Emma’s investigation into the u-men while having a really good climax, is pretty standard x-men stuff, and Wolverin’es trek with angel is just okay with Angel being highly intolerable during this arc, with Morrison trying a bit TOO hard to make her a “realistic” teen instead coming off as horribly unplesant. She’s supposed to just be lashing out but comes off obnxious as a result. That said this arc does furhter a lot of Morrisons best idea and introduce more, and is a great setup for our next arc, which we’ll get to in two weeks. Soooo

Next Time On X-Men: We find out just what the hell Cassandra Nova is, what her plans are, and what happened with her and charles as our heroes come down with a cold as the might of the shiar empire bears down on them. It’s IMperial in two weeks. 

Next Time ON This BLog: Speaking of long Delayed Projects, I finally return to The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck as a young Scrooge starts his prospecting career, learning the ins and outs from a rich new mentor, and finding the price tag striking it rich comes with. Raid a copper hill with me tommorow. 

If you liked this review, subscirbe for more, join my patreon, and if there’s a comic you’d like me to cover suggest it in the comments or outright comission a review from me via ask. See you at the next rainbow

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Destiny

Ch 2- Touche, Kiddo.

Co-Created with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Chapter Summary: Tony and Natasha take Katie back to the first of several key points of impact in her life- the day Tony returned from Afghanistan…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So these chapters contain flashbacks of sorts- but they’re not flashbacks as Katie is watching the events unfold in front of her-a “Time heist” of sorts. However, to keep it clear and hopefully not confusing, the events she is watching are depicted in itallics instead of me trying to keep calling her 2010 v 2030 Katie…

Please let me know what you think- comments and re-blogs muchly appreciated.

You’re dead.” Katie spluttered, looking at Tony.

“Yeah, so they tell me.” He mused, taking a look around, observing his surroundings. “Which is kind of a bummer…” “So what the fuck is this?” she asked. “Am I dreaming? Having some kind of mental breakdown hallucination? Are you a ghost? If so where the fuck have you been for the past 7 years, asshole?”

“I wasn’t needed.” Tony shrugged “But, this is your party so to speak. I can be whatever you want to be if it makes you feel better. I mean, you did have strange dreams at times when you were younger. I distinctly recall one about a giant white rabbit chasing you through the streets of London with an ice cream cone as a hat.” “I was high when I fell asleep.” Katie shrugged, then she gave a moan “What am I doing talking to you? This is insane…I need to wake up.” She closed her eyes, pinched herself, yelping at the pain. When she opened them she saw Tony leaning against the tree trunk, one knee bent as his shoe pressed flat against the trunk behind him, arms folded. “Yeah, sorry Kiddo. Still here.” “This is all inside my head.” Katie took a deep breath “This is all inside my head, this isn’t real.” “What was it that Dumblebee dude said? You know the Wizard from Harry Potter?” Tony clicked the fingers on his right hand, pointing at Katie as she rolled her eyes.

“Dumbledor…"

“Whatever, the point is what he said. You know, that quote you loved ‘Of Course this is happening inside your head, but why on Earth should that mean that it is not real?’. You can’t have forgotten, you had it stencilled on the wall in your apartment.”

“I haven’t, trust me.” Katie said softly “It’s Jamie’s favourite too. He has it above his bed, Steve did it for him along with a painting of the Hogwarts Castle"

“Wow, he read them all already?” Tony raised an eyebrow “He’s 10.” “He’s smart.” Katie smiled “A real bookworm, and an artist. Announced the other day he wants to write and illustrate kid’s books now, not be a Baseball player anymore. Steve insists there’s time for him to come to his senses but…” 

"Cap still with the giddy optimism huh?" Tony arched an eyebrow and she felt her eye begin to prick with tears, and that familiar stinging sensation associated with trying to stave off the tears filled the upper inside of her nose and she looked at Tony before she rushed forward and he stood up straight. At the last minute, before she threw herself at him she stopped dead and reached out with a shaky hand, her palm pressing against the pin striped material of his waistcoat. He was solid, warm, she could feel his heart beating. 

“I…” she looked up at him, the tears once more pouring from her eyes “I don’t want this to be in my head."

Tony smiled, his own eyes brimming with tears as Katie slid her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. She breathed in his familiar cologne, a smell she hadn’t forgotten but one that hadn’t filled her senses in a long time. His hands gently rubbed at her back as he held her close, one hand creeping upwards where it rest on the back of her hair as he dropped a kiss to her head. His familiar fatherly-brotherly touch was seeping into her bones, quelling the deep, dark aching she’d been feeling since…well, she couldn’t remember. Steve was her home, her safe place, her rock, there was no denying that, but Tony was her childhood pillar of strength. He was the man that had band aided her knees and palms, tucked her in, fought the monsters under her bed and for that reason, he would always be a source of comfort and strength.

Even if this was just some whacked out hallucination.

And then, she felt another emotion. An emotion she remembered feeling before many a times watching Steve catapult himself off buildings, bridges, hanging off helicopters before dropping into rivers. It was anger. Anger at the self-sacrificing nature that drove her soldier to act first and think later...but she was feeling it here at her brother. Unable to quell it she pulled back and her right hand laid a stinging slap to Tony’s left cheek. His head snapped to the right and he gave an angry yell.

“Jesus Kiddo…what the fuck was that for?” “For dying, dickwad!” she yelled, the tears falling down her face. “You died and you left me...” “It wasn’t like I had a choice.” He sighed, dropping his head “This was always the end I was going to get, not the end I wanted but…”

“She took it well then.” Another familiar voice drawled and Katie stiffened in her brothers’ arms, and looked up at him, eyes wide as she turned slowly to see a familiar face looking back at her. Green eyes sparkling, red hair shining in the stray rays of sunlight that crept into the thicket as it fell forward around her face and shoulders over the top of her black leather jacket with a bounce Katie hadn’t seen for years.

“Nat…” she swallowed, wiping her eyes “You look…”

“Yeah, better.” She shrugged, “Whatever this is, it took us back to a time before it all went to shit. I think this was my hair in 2015 or 16…” “Leipzig you looked like that.” Tony mused as Katie stepped away from him, to scan Natasha up and down. “I, on the other hand, I’m not sure. But I look good so…” “Modest as always.” Katie grumbled as she stopped in front of Natasha, before they embraced as well. “How’s my little man?”

“Not so little anymore.” Katie shrugged “He’s like up to here now…”  she held her hand up to a point in the mjddle of her rib-cage “…and he looks just like Steve.”

“Yeah we actually know.” Tony cut in “We know about all 5 of them, she’s just making conversation. I gotta say, I’m kinda liking the fact Emmy hooked up with Parker. They'll make cute babies"

"Oh God, don't. Steve's already freaking out about them wanting to move in together." Katie laughed and Tony grinned.

"Henry...that wasn't after Hank Pym was it?" He asked and Katie shook her head.

"It was a name Steve liked. I picked his middle. And it was the other way for Flossie..."

Natasha snorted “I gotta say you gave Aurora a perfect name. After a princess...” “The Star Spangled Diva." Katie shook her head before she grinned “She’s ace.” “She’s a Stark that's for sure.” Tony smiled proudly.

“Steve says that. Says she looks like me and has your attitude. Drives him insane.” Tony smirked “Good to know. Been dead 7 years and still bugging the crap out of Spangles.” He nodded, clapping his hand together, rubbing his palms against one another in glee.

Katie looked at her brother for a moment before she shook her head. “Ok, so is this the part where the two of you give me some kind of pep talk, you know about the kids and my outburst before or…” “Well, we could.” Tony said, “But you always responded better to visuals, so we’re gonna show you.” “Tony I have no desire to see any of that again.” She shook her head “I already know I fucked up.” “We’re not here about the fact you cussed out Jamie.” Nat said gently

Katie frowned “Then what is this?”

“We’re more concerned with the fact you don’t seem to understand how much you matter to everyone.” The red head continued “What was it you said before? Something along the lines of not seeing the point of being in their lives?”

Katie looked down at her feet.

“You’re human kiddo.” Tony said “Humans are flawed. They fuck up...some of us less than others, granted.” Katie raised her head, cocking an eyebrow at Tony “You’re such a conceited bastard.” “True.” Tony nodded, “But all things considered I think I have a right to be. I mean my best achievement is stood right in front of me.” He shrugged “I’d like to include Moo in that but, well Pep’s done the hard work there really, bringing her up. You on the other hand, well that was all me.” he stepped forward and took both her hands “And I’m smug as fuck about it, because you’re an amazing woman Kiddo, you just need reminding of that fact so we can get you over this sudden lack of self-worth you seem to be displaying.” Katie shook her head, tears forming in her eyes “Tone…” “It’s true.” He shrugged, letting go of her hands “But, you’ll see for yourself. Come on.”

He turned and started walking up the path towards the Memorial Gardens and Katie watched him before she turned to Natasha. Nat nodded her head towards Tony’s back and with a shrug Katie turned to follow him.

“Might as well see what whacked out journey my subconscious has planned.” She muttered to herself, following her brother as he walked ahead of her slightly. As they emerged from the thicket of trees, Katie noticed the Gardens were completely empty and it was eerily quiet. Eventually Tony stopped by an orange Audi and Katie shook her head.

“What?” Tony asked “I liked this colour.”

Natasha walked passed Katie and opened the door, folding the seat forward so she could slip into the back. Katie watched Tony as he settled in the driver’s side before she took another look around. The sun was starting to set, sending streaks of lilac and burnt red across the sky before she climbed in and shut the door. Tony fired the engine and the familiar sounds of AC/DCs Back in Black hit her ears. Despite herself she gave a smile, glancing out of the window as Tony drove the car forward, the music filled her senses.

Suddenly, she frowned. Her head flicking to look out of the window to her side before she turned back to the windscreen as she recognised her surroundings which seemed to have changed when she blinked. “How…”

“We’re not in Kansas anymore Dorothy…” Tony said, looking at her as she turned her head to meet his eyes.

“No, we’re in fucking California!” she practically exploded “How? That’s not possible!”

“Neither is seeing dead people but you’re managing that just fine.” Natasha drawled. Katie ran her hands over her face letting out a groan.

“I’m tripping…I have to be. Did someone spike my coffee before?”

Tony smirked as he pulled the car off the road onto the Military air base and drew up behind a row of blacked out SUVs, each flanked by an armed guard.

“Wait…” she leaned forward, looking at 3 familiar figures waiting on the tarmac as a huge C17 taxied towards them. “This…this is the day you came back from Afghanistan.”

Tony nodded as Katie opened the door to the car and climbed out. She took a few steps forward stopping in front of the car bonnet. Natasha stood by her left, Tony by her right as she watched the aircraft come to a stop.

“Come on…” Tony said, striding forwards “You know how I like to make an entrance, be kind of cool for me to actually watch it for once.” They weaved their way through the line of SUVs and Katie paused, stopping. Curiously, she cocked her head to one side and waved her hand in front of one of the guard’s faces. He didn’t even blink.

“They can’t see you.” Natasha said, “Think of it as being like A Christmas Carol…”

Kate looked at her, before she took a deep breath “So not quite a Time heist?”

Nat smirked and nodded “Almost, but not quite, no.”

“Fucking hell.” Katie shook her head and turned to make her way over to Tony who was now stood just behind Pepper.

“God her ass looks great.” He mumbled. Katie gave a snort as she stopped behind her 2010 self.

“Was I really that skinny?” she muttered, taking in her frame. Her waist was ridiculously tiny, emphasised by the sharp, black tailored suit she wore, her hair pinned back into a bun. She moved round to the side, taking in her profile. Her eyes were shining, her jaw tensing as she held back the tears. “Mind you, I don’t think I ate properly for the entire time you were gone…” “You’re not exactly fat now” Tony scoffed. She ignored him, her eyes still fixed on herself. As she watched, 2010 Katie turned to Pepper who looked at her, the pair of them sharing a smile as Katie extended her hand, Pepper taking it, squeezing her fingers.

The tars of happiness trickled down her face, as the ramp on the aircraft carrier opened to reveal her brother. His hair was longer, he looked thinner but he was alive and all things considered he looked pretty good. Dressed in a sharp grey suit, brown shirt and a brown tie sporting white polka dots. His face was a little bruised but his goatee was well groomed and he still wore that determined, arrogant look she knew so well As Rhodey helped him down the ramp, he waved away the gurney that was being wheeled towards him and unable to stand it any longer, Katie shot forward. Tony was barely at the bottom before she flung herself at him, not caring that his arm was a sling.

“Hey Kiddo.” he said softly as she buried her face into his neck.

“You fucking asshole!” she sobbed “next time, you ride with Rhodey, you got that?”

“Trust me, there will be no next time.” he chuckled as she pulled back and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Afghanistan is a shit hole.”

“It was you know…” Tony mumbled and Katie turned her head away from watching her past reunion with her brother to look at him. “But there was one thing that kept me going in that hell hole. And that was getting back to you. I couldn’t leave you. Not after what happened to Mom and Dad.” Katie swallowed and turned back to see herself and her brother walking towards Pepper, her hand linked in his as they stopped.

“Your eyes are red.” Tony looked at Pepper “A few tears for your long-lost boss?”

“Tears of joy” Pepper smiled back “I hate job hunting.” “Yeah, vacation's over.” Tony said simply, and he headed past Pepper towards Happy. Katie watched as the two men embraced and she turned to Pepper.

“Twenty bucks says the first place he goes is for a cheeseburger.”

“You know me…knew me…whatever, so well.” Tony looped an arm round Katie as they watched their 2010 selves climb into the car and set off.

“I didn’t even try and convince you otherwise.” She sighed, looking at him “I knew you’d refuse to go to the hospital. I didn’t see the immediate press-conference coming though, that was a curve ball.”

“That was an interesting one for us too at SHIELD.” Nat said, “As soon as Fury got the call about how you’d escaped and that you’d called one he dispatched Coulson.”

“God…” Katie shook her head “This was like 20 years ago now. I was so young, a baby…”

“Well, now you don’t look a day over 46…” Tony said, patting her shoulder.

She glared at him and he chuckled “Come on…” Tony said, patting her shoulder.

Katie cast her eyes once more at the tail of the Rolls which was heading over the airfield tarmac and the three of them walked back to Tony’s Audi.

**** “Higher Daddy!” Harry giggled as Steve pushed him on the swing lazily with one arm, all the time keeping one eye on Rori who was currently with Jamie, the pair of them hanging off the climbing frame upside down whilst Stark sat at the bottom, barking at them. Whilst all his kids seemed to have inherited some of the serum’s benefits in that they were rarely sick and on the whole pretty robust, they were still fifty-percent ‘normal’ for want of a better word, and his heart was constantly in his mouth when they did stuff like that. To his horror he watched, Rori pulled herself up and then tucker herself into a ball and flipping herself backwards off the frame, landing on her feet.

“That’s how to stick a landing.” She looked at Jamie, her tongue poking out at him before she trotted back over to her dad ignoring her brother’s shout of “loser…” as she headed off.

“Can you not do that?” Steve sighed exasperatedly as she stopped by his side.

“Do what?” she looked up at him, her green eyes frowning a little. “Throw yourself off stuff.” “Momma says you did it all the time.” Rori looked at him “She said you threw yourself out of an elevator with her on your back.” “That…that was different.” He finished lamely.

“How?” “Because I had no choice.” “Why didn’t you just push the button to take the elevator down?” Rori looked at him like he was an idiot and he groaned.

“Rori, just…oh, I dunno, go and play on the slide or something. And by that I mean slide down it, not jump off it.”

“Hey Dad?” Jamie appeared by his side and Steve looked down at him “You wanna play catch?”

“Why don’t you play with Stark?” Steve said “I need to keep an eye on Harry and Flossie buddy.”

“Stark just runs off with the ball. He never brings it back.”

“Well, try teaching him.” “I have.” Jamie whined.

“Jamie, don’t start.” Steve said sternly “You’re skating on thin ice as it is.” “I’ll play.” Rori offered. Steve could see Jamie was considering his options before he shrugged.

“Ok.”

The two of them headed off towards the small sandlot to the side of the park, Steve watching as he continued to push Harry in the swing, his gaze then turning to Florence who was asleep in the stroller. Eventually Harry got bored and wanted to play on the slide so Steve lifted him out and they made their way over, Harry’s hand wrapped around Steve’s as he pushed Florence with the other. He watched Harry as he climbed the steps and then moved to the bottom of the slide, crouching as the little boy whizzed down laughing, Steve smiled as he caught him and tossed him into the air slightly.

“Again!” he demanded. Steve let him down and he repeated the motion a few times before Steve checked his watch. It was getting a little late, granted it was a Saturday but he didn’t want to deal with the fall out of them all being over tired and cranky over dinner. Katie had dealt with enough tantrums and tears today.

“Kids, think we should head back.” He said as he approached the older two. Jamie looked at him, about to protest and Steve glared at him.

“What did I say before?” he asked firmly. Jamie took a deep breath and nodded.

“Ok Dad.”

Together they walked back, Jamie and Rori a little ahead as Steve kept pace with Harry. They took the path through one of the green parks that led to their road and Rori stopped at a bank of wild flowers.

“Hey, can we pick some for Momma?” she asked, turning to look at Steve. “The blue ones are pretty.”

Steve smiled “I think that’s a great idea.”

“Make momma smile?” Harry asked, looking up and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, yeah it will.”

He watched as Jamie and Rori headed off to a patch to the left to pick a few and Steve crouched down consulting with Harry as to which ones he wanted to get. He helped him pick a few before he turned back to see Jamie and Rori clutching handfuls each.

“You leave any for the bees?” He quipped and Rori looked at him.

“There are looooads…” she said gesturing with her hands, giving an eye roll that was ridiculously comparable to those of her mother.

“Well that’s me told.” Steve arched an eyebrow. “Ok, give them here.”

He took them gently, adding them to Harry’s and he laid them on the little shelf at the bottom of the stroller before the 5 of them made their way back home.

**** Tony parked the Audi haphazardly in a space outside the Stark Industries HQ main building.

“Nice parking.” Katie quipped.

“It’s out company, I own this parking lot. Well I did. And besides, like you keep saying, this isn’t real so what does it matter?” he asked as the three of them exited the car. Katie glanced over to where Obadiah Stane was waiting with the press and their employees, laughing loudly and generally acting like the big shot.

“Dick.” She mumbled. “I never liked him.”

“Yeah, I know. You told me a lot. And it turns out you were right about him.” Tony shrugged. “Who knew?”

She snorted and Natasha gave a chuckle. “I’ll leave you two to this one.” She said gently, leaning against the car, folding her arms. Katie looked at her, before she turned and followed Tony as he strode forward, watching as the Rolls pulled up. The people stood round the turning circle all started to applause and when the car stopped and Obadiah strode forwards, arms open.

“Look at this!” He opened the door, presenting Tony to everyone and pulling him into a hug “We were going to meet at the hospital.”

“No, I'm fine.” Tony said, turning to Happy who offered him the Burger King bag from which Tony pulled another cheeseburger.

“Look at you!” Obadiah chuckled “You had to have a burger, yeah?”

“Which reminds me…” Katie nudged Pepper as they walked around the back of the car “You owe me twenty.” Pepper snorted and shook her head, “Come on.”

Katie and Pepper headed inside, following Tony and Obadiah who were chatting away, the cameras flashing as they walked through the cool, marble clad reception are of HQ where the podium that the press conferences were held from stood to the side. Katie and Pepper stopped, Katie taking a breath as she watched Tony walking through the group of people, speaking to various until a voice by her side made her jump.

“Miss Potts, may I speak to you for a moment?”

Katie turned to see an unassuming man, with short dark hair and a kind face dressed in a black suit, a Visitor Tag attached to his breast pocket. She looked at him for a second before her attention turned back to Tony who was busy talking to a woman in a red suit.

“I’m not part of the press conference…” Pepper spoke to the man “But it’s about to begin right now”

“I'm not a reporter. I'm Agent Phil Coulson, with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.” The man spoke and that got Katie’s attention. She turned to look at him, smiling.

“That's quite a mouthful.” She grinned and Agent Coulson gave her a smile.

“I know. We're working on it.” He smiled as Pepper took the business card he was holding. Katie arched an eyebrow and smiled, once more turning her eyes back to her brother.

“You know, we've been approached already by the DOD, the FBI, the CIA...” Pepper continued and Coulson cut her off gently.

“We're a separate division with a more specific focus. We need to debrief Mr. Stark about the circumstances of his escape.”

Katie turned to him, frowning and wondering exactly how they knew about it. Reading her facial expression, Coulson shrugged slightly and Pepper nodded. “I'll put something in the book, shall I?”

“Thank you.”

Katie was about to quiz him more when she heard Tony calling for her. She looked at her brother and he gestured with his head.

“Excuse me…” She strode forward and Tony put an arm round her shoulder.

“I need to speak to you.” He said “Before I talk to the world.”

“God, I remember this like it was yesterday.” Katie turned to Tony as they followed in the wake of themselves, everyone parting as Tony steered his sister towards the little break out room towards the back, which housed the coffee and vending machines.

“Yup…” Tony said as they ducked inside the room with themselves “It was a pretty life defining moment. For me anyway…”

“It was for both of us.” She said, watching as 2010 Tony clicked he door shut “This is where it all began. Iron Man, SHIELD…all of it.”

Tony smiled and they both turned their heads to watch their past selves.

“I’m shutting down the Weapons Manufacturing.” Tony said and Katie frowned.

“What? Why?”

“I saw out there what our weapons are being used for.” Tony shook his head “I don’t know how those terrorists got hold of them, because I sure as hell didn’t approve any bids to that particular group, did the Commercial Department negotiate them without me using your delegated authority?”

“Of course not!” she replied indignantly “What do you take me for? They must have been traded on the black market…”

“And that is exactly my point!” Tony said, nodding at her “We can’t police it all. So I want to shut it down. Focus our efforts elsewhere”

“What happened to you out there Tone?” Katie considered her brother for a moment and he took a deep breath.

“For the first time I met my Jiminy Cricket…”he looked at her “Tony Stark doesn’t want to be the most famous mass murderer in the history of America anymore.”

Katie frowned. “That Vanity Fair article. You read it?”

“Of course I read it, it was about me.” He shrugged “The reporter…erm..”

“Everhart?” Katie looked at him “You forgot her name after you banged her as well?”

“Whatever that’s not important.” Tony waved her off “But Kiddo,all those lives we’ve saved by advancing medical technology and the starvation prevented from intelli-crops, she mentioned none of that.”

“Because that doesn’t sell papers.” Katie shook us head “Whereas dubbing us Merchants of Death does.”

“War profiteering she called it. And she was right.” Tony implored “You know, Dad always said that peace means…”

“Having a bigger stick than the other guy, yeah, you told me” Katie looked at her brother.

“And it’s a great line coming from the guy selling the sticks.” Tony shook his head. “But what if no one was selling the sticks?”

Katie took a deep breath “People would then just make their own sticks, and they’d be harder to police.”

“But what if I told you I had a pretty big assed stick of my own? The biggest stick anyone could have.”

“I’m not…” Katie sighed, rubbing at her temple “Tony you’ve lost me”

“I wouldn’t have escaped if it hadn’t been for my cell mate out there. He saved my life” Tony tapped his chest “Not only did he build an electromagnet to keep a bunch of shrapnel from shredding my heart, he sacrificed himself soI could escape. His last words were an instruction, not to waste my life Kiddo, and I have no intention of doing so anymore.” He looked down at his feet taking a deep breath before he raised his head to meet her gaze “I don’t want my legacy, our legacy, to be about how many deaths we may or may not have been indirectly responsible for.”

“You really did have an epiphany didn’t you?” Katie looked at him, not a shred of sarcasm in her voice.

“It was my moment of clarity” Tony nodded “And I have a permanent reminder, as you know already from the calls and briefings….”

He moved his arm gently, wincing as he did so, loosening his tie a little and undoing the top few buttons on his shirt. He gently parted it and Katie gave a gasp at the small circle of light in the middle of his chest.

“This thing powered a suit I made. A metal suit. I shrunk the Arc reactor down in a damned cave, and that’s what’s now keeping the shrapnel in place…but it powered a heavy assed suit for 15 minutes. Just think of all the good we could do with it with it. Renewable technology, medical equipment…maybe some other form of potential peace keeping initiative with a slightly smaller metal suit.”

“Is this the big stick you were talking about?” Katie asked, arching her eyebrow. “A metal suit.”

Tony took a deep breath “In a fashion, yes. It could remove the need for…other sticks so to speak.”

Katie took a deep breath before she stepped forward and began to do his shirt back up for him, not saying a word as she mulled over what he had said. The fact they traded weapons had been something she tried not to think about, justifying it in her mind as a means to an end- if they didn’t someone else would. But remove that completely…

She re-knotted his tie and slid it up to his collar before she straightened it and stood back, rolling her eyes as Tony loosened it once more.

“I need you to trust me on this Kiddo.” He said softly and she looked at him, her eyes searching his. There wasn’t a single ounce of doubt there, quit the contrary. This was obviously something he vehemently believed in. And for that reason, she decided to back him.

“Ok.” She nodded “We’ll shut it down.”

Katie watched as her 2010 self and brother embraced, turning to Tony “You have no idea how much of a head fuck that was” she said as they followed themselves out of the room.

“Oh, believe me I do.” Tony said, as they stood at the back of the room, watching as Obadiah greeted the press, 2010 Katie walking up to stand besides him.

Tony sat down in front of the podium. “Hey, would it be all right if everyone sat down?” He asked, fishing the cheeseburger out of his pocket “Why don't you just sit down? That way you can see me, and I can... a little less formal and...” Tony took a bite of the cheeseburger as Katie glanced at Obi, giving a shrug, before she sat to Tony’s left.

“Good to see you.” Tony looked at Obi who smiled.

“Good to see you.” He said, reaching out and touching Tony’s shoulder.

“I never got to say goodbye to Dad.” Tony said, looking around. He glanced at Katie, “We never got to say goodbye to our father.” He swallowed his food and placed the half eaten burger on the floor as he considered his words “There's questions that I would have asked him. I would have asked him how he felt about what this company did. If he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts.”

Katie glanced at the floor as Tony paused for a second.

“Or maybe he was every inch the man we all remember from the newsreels.” He once more turned to Katie who gently placed her hand on his back, giving a small rub over his suit jacket. Taking a deep breath he looked out over the room “I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that we had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero accountability.”

Out of the corner of her eye, as the members of the press began to call Tony’s name, Katie saw Obadiah shift slightly, frowning a little at what Tony had just said.

“Hey Ben…” Tony nodded to one of the reporters.

“What happened over there?”

“I had my eyes opened.” Tony stood and moved behind the podium, Katie watching his every move. “I came to realize that I have more to offer this world than just making things that blow up.”

He glanced down at Katie and she gave him a small nod.

“And that is why, effective immediately, me and my sister are shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark International”

The room erupted in commotion, everyone standing and talking at the same time. Katie took her position by her brother as Tony simply continued speaking

“…until such a time as we can decide what the future of the company will be.”

Obadiah placed his hand over Tony’s shoulder, trying to cut in a little and mentioned something about selling a lot of newspapers but Tony ignored him

“…what direction it should take, one that we’re comfortable with and is consistent with the highest good for this country, as well.”

At that he turned to Katie and the two of them left the stage, Tony’s arm looped around her shoulder as he dropped a kiss to her temple.

Obadiah continued to speak as Katie turned to Tony, watching themselves as they left the room.

“Wanna go watch the follow up fireworks?” he grinned and she gave a chuckle.

“Why not, we’re here…we may as well.”

They walked out to see their past selves climbing into Happy’s car and Natasha straightened up as they headed to the Audi.

“Have fun?” she drawled and Katie looked at her and shrugged.

“I suppose I never really understood the significance of that moment. Like I said to Tony in there, this is what kicked it all off. How Iron Man was born.”

Natasha looked at Tony, giving him a little nod “You were right to bring here her then.” “Just like I said.” He shrugged as he opened the door to the Audi, gesturing to it with his head “Now, get in Losers, we’re going Arc Reactor viewing.”

Katie rolled her eyes at Natasha as the 2 of them climbed into the car and Tony followed the Rolls that was working its way across the Stark Industries site. Eventually it stopped outside the large, glass fronted building which housed the Arc Reactor that powered the plant. The three of them exited and followed 2010 Tony and Katie inside.

“So this is a larger version of what was in your chest.” Natasha looked up at the huge power source, giving it the once over.

“Yup.” Tony nodded, “Pretty cool huh.”

Natasha gave a hmmm of agreement as Katie’s eyes strayed to herself as she stood with Tony, the two of them stood side by side, looking up at it.

“Not sure Obi is gonna be happy.” She turned to look at Tony who shrugged, his eyes not leaving the Arc Reactor.

“I don’t much care.” He shrugged “We’ve bowed to him and the board for far too long…” “Well, that’s kind of the point of a board” she looked at him.

“Yeah, but the two of us make the majority, as you know.” Tony shrugged. “Look, Kiddo, this is the right thing to do…we just gotta ride out the bow of this shit storm for while.”

“That’s…a mixed metaphor.” Katie snorted and Tony grinned. At that point the doors to the building opened and they turned to see Obadiah stood, cigar in his mouth, hands on his hips.

“Well, that..uh... That went well.”

“Did we just paint a target on the back of our heads?” Tony asked reaching up to undo his tie.

“Your heads? What about my head?” Obi asked walking behind them, pacing slightly. “What do you think the over-under on the stock drop is gonna be tomorrow?”

“Uh, optimistically, 40 points.” Katie offered as Tony whipped off his tie.

“At minimum.” Obadiah nodded.

“Yup” Tony agreed, hanging his tie over his jacket which was draped on the railings around the reactor.

“Tony, Katie, we're a weapons manufacturer.” Obadiah said softly, looking at him.

“Obi, I just don't want a body count to be our only legacy.” Tony turned to face him.

“That's what we do. We're iron mongers. We make weapons.”

“It’s our name on the side of the building.” Katie chipped in and Obadiah shook his head.

“What we do keeps the world from falling into chaos.”

“Not based on what I saw.” Tony shook his head “We're not doing a good enough job. We can do better. We're gonna do something else” “Like what?” Obadiah asked “You want us to make baby bottles?”

“Tony thinks we should take another look into arc reactor technology.” Katie said “And I agree.

“Ah, come on.” Obi looked at her, then shook his head, waving his hands towards the item in question “The arc reactor, that's a publicity stunt! Guys’ come on. We built that thing to shut the hippies up”

“It works.” Katie said simply and Tony smiled, catching her eye for a second as Obi scoffed.

“Yeah, as a science project. The arc was never cost effective. We knew that before we built it.” He shook his head once more pacing behind the siblings, neither of who turned to face him “Arc reactor technology, that's a dead end, right?”

Obadiah’s tone was almost sarcastic and Katie understood instantly that he knew about the one in Tony’s chest. From the smile on her brother’s face he’d also reached the same conclusion.

“Maybe.” Tony said, his smile growing bigger as he looked up at the larger arc once more before he turned to Katie, his smile growing bigger. She gave him one of her own as they both turned to look at Obi.

“Huh? Am I right? We haven't had a breakthrough in that in what? Thirty years.”

“That's what they say.” Tony said, narrowing his eyes as Obadiah looked straight at him. Katie snorted.

“Obi, could you have a lousier poker face?” she rolled her eyes.

“Just tell me, who told you?” Tony looked at him.

“Never mind who told me…” Obi pointed towards his chest “Show me”

“It's Rhodey or Pepper.” Tony continued

“I want to see it.” Obadiah continued.

“Okay, Rhodey…” Tony undid his sling and looking around he began to undo his shirt to show Obadiah the reactor in his chest. The older man looked at it for a moment, glancing to the larger arc before he chuckled a little

“Okay…” he said as he began to button Tony's shirt back up, the same way Katie had earlier.

“Okay? It works…” Tony looked at him.

Obadiah sighed, giving a smile and looped his arm around Tony’s shoulder. “Listen to me, Tony. We're a team.” He gestured to Katie “The three of us, do you understand? There's nothing we can't do if we stick together, like your father and I.”

“I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads-up, okay?” Tony looked at him “But if I had...”

“Tony. Tony, no more of this "ready, fire, aim" business. You understand me?”

“Wasn’t that another one of Dad's line?” Katie asked and Tony looked at her, nodding.

“You two have gotta let me handle this.” Obi looked at them “We're gonna have to play a whole different kind of ball now. We're going to have to take a lot of heat.” He said as Katie helped Tony back into his jacket. “I want you to promise me that you're gonna lay low.”

Katie, Tony and Natasha watched the other figures leave the building and Katie sighed, her eyes flicking back up to the arc reactor.

“You know, that was a great trip down memory lane and everything Tone, but you’re gonna have to help me out here as to how, exactly, that’s supposed to relate to my apparent sudden lack of self-worth…”

“You backed my decision.” Tony said simply “You were one hundred percent behind me when I said I wanted to shut down the weapons manufacturing.”

“I know, but…” “If you hadn’t been, Tony would never have done it.”  Natasha shrugged

“Red’s right, you were always my sanity check. Despite what you may have thought to the contrary, I trusted your opinions Kiddo. Every key decision I made with SI was done with you by my side.” “That’s not true.”

“It is.” Tony pressed “Think about it for a second. The Charities, the deals, the partnerships, the take overs, the Arc Reactor...not one single big thing I did with that company, with our company, was done without you. Even when you disagreed I took that into consideration and modified stuff so that it was more in-line with what you suggested or thought.” Katie swallowed, shaking her head slightly, lost for words. Eventually she took a deep breath and looked at her brother “I didn’t realise. I always thought you did that simply because you needed my vote on stuff to make a majority…”

“Well you thought wrong.” He shrugged “But I’ll forgive you. The world only has space for one Stark genius.” “Good job you’re dead then.” She shot back and he looked at her, his eyebrow arching slightly, an incredulous smirk on his face as Natasha snorted.

“Touche, Kiddo. Touche.”

[drwcn]

... I must say, it's really nice to know it wasn't only I who found book!LWJ's attitude unnerving. He was shown a posessive there, I think? The funniest thing that TGCF I actually liked, because despite one of 'merry couple' fangirling for another for years, he still gave him free space and trusted to make his own decisions.

Hi anons! :)

This post is gonna get kind of wanky, so be warned. If you don’t want wank, well don’t read this post. I really don’t like to answer wank asks because only positive vibes for my blog please and thanks (but don’t worry anons, I’m not mad, I’m just gonna put the three of you together so I can talk about some of mdzs’s problems once and for all).  Also disclaimer: my opinions are my own, I could be wrong about some things. I have only dabbled in the novel, some chapters here and there, and I really couldn’t finish it. I went ahead and read the original text, which is actually quite well written all things considered. The translations are fine, but it just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Thus, if I said some things which are factually incorrect, I am not opposed to being notified.  

First and foremost, for the anon that asked “what’s wrong with mxtx?” The short answer is nothing is wrong with her. She’s an author who writes popular online novels with a wide readership. Clearly people are receptive to what she’s putting out there. Good for her, you know. It’s not easy to be that well received. 

But in terms of her novels, there are several things that I personally don’t like. I’m just gonna list some of the things she’s said about MDZS/CQL. I have not consumed any of her other work. 

First, her treatment of her female characters. In an interview, she literally said that most of the men in her MDZS novel are single because she didn’t want to come up with names for their wives. Like....what the fuck. Take from that what you will. Also, look at her female characters. Seriously, what kind of fates did they have? According to another OP, all the female characters’ lines in MDZS added up to 50 sentences. Don’t quote me on this, I did not fact check. This is just what I heard. But even within the narrative itself, let’s do a body count. Jiang Yanli died for plot. Wen Qing died for plot. Qin Su existed and died for plot. A-Jing existed for 45 seconds and then died for plot. Baoshan exists in narration only. Madam Yu was a raging asshole. Madam Jin treated Jin Guangyao like trash. Cangse Sanren: dead. Mama Lan: (no name lol) dead. Where are the fucking women? Where? Let’s not forget all the other women that existed purely as plot device: Sisi, Bicao, Meng Shi. Mianmian is the only one who lived, but she literally had to - quote Eliza Hamilton - “take myself out of the narrative” to do it. 

Second, and this is a well known thing: mxtx claimed that the only canon gay relationship is wangxian, everyone else is straight because she doesn’t think it’s likely that there are that many gay people. If we interpret other male characters as couples, we’re free to have our own interpretation. ... ..... .... I’m fucking speechless. But also laughing because LHK and ZZJ literally ignored canon, and straight up made LXC and MY have a meet cute in class in front of everyone. 

Third, but not least, let’s talk about book!Lan Wangji. The following will strictly be talking about book!Lan Wangji and not show!Lan Wangji. Show Lan Wangji is very nuanced and WYB’s micro-expressions are great. (You’re doing amazing sweeties, don’t ever stop).

 What, pray tell, is book!LWJ’s personality? Silence is not a personality. book!LWJ is what we critics in the drama world call “高冷霸道总裁”, which is a trope in and of itself. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes, except a lot of viewers are getting...kind of sick of it, because it’s getting a little repetitive. 

高冷 = arrogant and cold, but like... in an admirably good way. Or as I like to call it, a stick up the butt and no communication skills. 

霸道总裁 = The Big Boss.  Attention: lemme use some heteronormative language here for a second because most of cdrama is written this way. The Big Boss is the fictional counterpart to the real life 高富帅 (gao fu shuai: tall, rich and handsome, the moniker for an ideal husband) that many aunties and mothers wish their daughters could marry. This kind of character is tall, rich and will swoop in to save the damsel-in-distress - erm, I mean the strong independent female character - when she’s in trouble. Because even though she’s a strong independent character, and sometimes even the main character, somehow her fellow male lead still has to play her knight in shiny armor. Not like, he’ll sit down and listen to her talk about her problems, no, no, he has to pay for her expenses, bail her out of trouble, save her life, sacrifice himself, go against the world for her... sounds familiar??? 

Yeah. 

And like, some novels do “the big boss” trope better than other. They give the “the big boss” a human side, let him interact with side characters, allow him to have friends, build on other relationships, such that he is 3D and can stand on his own. Eternal Love of Dream’s DongHua Dijun is a recent example which I think did a pretty good job of writing a male character that doesn’t let him revolve around the love interest 24/7. 

book!LWJ doesn’t work for me because what exactly is his character growth? He serves to back up Wei Wuxian and.....????? He’s so flat in his character built. He loves Wei Wuxian and....that’s it. What else is there? If there’s other character traits y’all picked up on that I didn’t, please let me know because I find him so boring and at times disturbing (in terms of the nature of his physical relationship with Wei Wuxian). 

In CQL, we saw Lan Wangji change as a character, we saw him struggle with morals and values, struggle against tradition and family and societal expectations. We watched him witness the death of Wei Wuxian and move on to face life afterwards. We know through the actions of Lan Sizhui that he helped raise a child who didn’t just follow rules blindly. When Wei Wuxian came back, we saw a matured Lan Wangji who had come into his own and was comfortable in his own skin. And in the end, when the dust settled and the truth was revealed, he rose to the occasion. Jin Guangyao’s death left a power vacuum, and Lan Wangji filled it. Someone once wrote an excellent post about Lan Wangji being attracted to Wei Wuxian’s sense of justice (recall Wang Yibo’s change in expression when Wei Wuxian prayed during the lantern ceremony). I think that is exactly right. For two individuals with such different personalities, their bond in my opinion lies in their ability to see right and wrong beyond rules and laws and customs.  

In the book, canon ended with the two main character going at it in the grass, and I guess...yeah that’s cool. Happy ending right? But what they did learn? What was the point? Lan Wangji had lived 13/16 years without Wei Wuxian. He knew who he was. But for Wei Wuxian, he came back to life in another person’s body and went through a gazillion different revelation within days. He needed to find himself again, discover who he is, what he wants in this new life. That is a process he needs to do by himself, without external influences and pressure. He needs to be given a chance to decide that Lan Wangji is who he wants in this life, not in the last life, and when he does Lan Wangji will still be here, waiting for him, as he has always waited for him. Lan Wangji is the rock, the constant, the home that Wei Wuxian could always fall back on. He is not a prison, not a master, not the dictator of Wei Wuxian’s life. Theirs should be a partnership of respect and understanding. They are soulmates not only in the romantic sense, but because they understand each other better than anyone else. 

Book!LWJ does not give us that. What it does give us is a badly written sexual intercourse that gives me the heebee-jeebees. Sometimes I think it’s even weirdly dub-con without intending to be dub-con. The truth is I can’t even begrudge mxtx for it, because she is not the only one to write in this way. I’ve read other c-novels and many many of them are like that. And here is where we’re getting into the discussion of cultural understanding/acceptance of sex, relationship, consent, gender roles and the what is taught to young adults in school. That is a rabbit hole I won’t go into. 

So that’s it. My thoughts. 

[hypnoticwinter]

Down the Rabbit Hole part 16 (nsfw elements)

“Take a break!” comes the barked command through the squad radio link, and it takes all of my willpower not to collapse onto the fleshy ground then and there. I take the camera slung around my neck and turn it off, telescope the lens back into itself, and then find a nice soft bit of wall to sink into before I pop the helmet and give Elena a weary gaze. She grins at me cheekily.

“How you doing, cutie?”

I barely have enough energy to grin, but somehow I manage it. “God,” I tell her. “I had no idea there was going to be this much hiking.”

I had never thought of myself as much of a slouch as far as physical activity went. I liked keeping myself fit, liked the rush I got after a workout. I did a lot of cardio, a lot of jogging, that kind of thing. Occasionally I’d lift some weights but it didn’t appeal to me as much as just the inchoate joy of moving quickly and feeling air push in and out of my lungs. I had a fair amount of endurance as well; I wasn’t running marathons or anything but frequently I’d end up jogging for upwards of an hour, just for something to do, just to unwind after work or take my mind off something. I’d looked at the several miles we’d have to travel today, down there in the stinking guts of the Pit, and thought something along the lines of ‘no sweat, I’m active, I take care of myself, it’ll be a workout but nothing more.’

Christ.

What neither Peter or Makado had mentioned to me is that if you aren’t travelling in a Made Place down here, in a place that’s been specifically sanitized and reinforced and structured for something the size of a human, something that moves like a human instead of crawling or writhing or wriggling, it is capital-letter Tough Going. Everything down here, down to just the texture of the gigantic veins we pushed through, our suits sopping with nameless excretions and juices, seemed designed to only sullenly give way to us, and that after a great deal on our part to convince it to do so.

Example number one – the tightness of some of the veins is so great that we had to use something called a venterial jack, a pneumatic, hydraulic device that Slate carried slung over his back, in order to force them open so we could pass through. Everyone kept saying that once we hit the organ trail it’d be more open and we wouldn’t have to use it, but in the meantime in some of these conduits Slate would have to get three or four of us to help him pull back the weird, spongy tissue of the sides back far enough for him to plant it there in the middle, and then we’d all back away, and with a thundering sound like a pile-driver it would expand and splay open, pushing the tissue back with such force that at times it would leave a gigantic bruise coloring the Pit’s peach-hued flesh afterwards, and then we’d be able to crawl past it in the newly expanded space perhaps twenty feet or so before we’d have to hit the small trigger on its hull to collapse it, and then lug the thing back up to the front and repeat the process.

Example two – these vents aren’t perfectly straight, flat areas to walk in. They dip and bend and curve; sometimes they roll upwards, great creased crinkles of flesh stretching upwards into a ninety-degree angle. Then there’s nothing to do but get over it somehow, either by pulling yourself up if it’s small enough, or by breaking out the damn rope and pitons and climbing up, and then helping everyone else up after you. Then imagine doing all of this in pitch darkness, the only light coming from everyone’s headlamps. Then imagine that the floor is damp and sticky and squishy and generally revolting. Slippery with fluid at times. Imagine that it groans and writhes and wriggles around you if you manage to unstick your cleats at the wrong time and it bucks and pitches you to the ground. And then imagine that if you do fall to the ground, in the space of time it takes for someone to come and help you up you become covered with all forms of parasites, tiny things ranging between the size of a knuckle and the size of a fist, all urgently eager and hungry. Tiny worms like nematodes, crablike mites, stranger, less defined things that scuttle or slither or undulate off at the first sign of motion but are altogether too eager to swarm over you and excrete digestive juices or sensory pheromones or urine or shit or what the hell ever else.

I ask Elena about them and she explains that the duct that we’re moving through is part of the Pit’s digestive system and that all of these little creatures snag scraps of food whenever it passes through, or sometimes they prey on each other. They evolve quickly, down here in the dark, generations zipping by in the course of a day.

I can see my helmeted reflection in the glossy visor of Elena’s helmet and I shudder. My camera is already splattered with grime, no matter how careful I’ve been to keep it clean. Nothing that interferes with its operation, thankfully; I don’t relish the idea of grappling with the clunky, low-resolution camcorder secreted somewhere in its case in my pack. At least the operation of my DSLR is second-nature to me; at least I don’t have to think about it.

Peter stomps over and sits down next to us. In here, in these wider basins, the little scummy creatures crawling all over don’t seem to venture into the middle, leaving a broad round circle of bare flesh where we can sit without being molested. I’ve already popped my helmet and I keep my eyes on Elena as she takes hers off, shakes her head doggedly, smooths her hair out. She catches my eye and grins, and then flicks her eyes over to Peter.

“Peter, right?”

“Yes,” he says. He holds his fist out and they touch knuckles. A less complicated gesture than trying to shake hands with the suit gloves on. “Sorry I haven’t been around much, I’ve been –“

“Too busy with Veret?” Elena interjects smoothly, and I nearly choke on the mouthful of water I’d taken from my canteen. Peter claps me on the back and grimaces.

“I hoped people wouldn’t have talked much,” Peter says, and Elena laughs.

“Please,” she says. “People are going to do nothing but talk if you’re fucking the boss. I’m Elena, by the way.”

Peter’s blushing. I nudge him. “So you and Makado, huh?”

He snorts. “Slate walked in on me and her, um. Well, you know. In one of the supply closets the other day.”

“And of course,” Elena adds, “considering that Slate is a 12-year-old girl, he ran and tattled to everyone.”

“That’s Slate,” Peter agrees. “When did you join?”

“Three years ago.”

“Huh. That’s back when I was here.”

“Yeah, I was attached to a research team for a while. They were doing some gastric stuff and they needed a diver. Probably why we never met.”

“Makes sense,” Peter nods. Elena’s eyes flick over to me and she reaches out a hand.

“Want me to open that for you?” she asks, and I shake my head. I’ve almost gotten the granola bar open now, but these damn gloves –

“I’ve got it,” I tell her. “I almost –“

“You sure you’ve got it?”

“Shut up, Pete.”

“Here, let me –“

“Fine,” I say, tossing the granola bar to Elena. She strips the wrapper off it with one deft motion and I shake my head. “How the hell –“

“Lots of practice,” Peter says. “So Elena, when you joined, did you…”

As I sit there munching and letting the quiet rustle of conversation blur into the background, letting some of the strength come back into my weary legs, I think for a moment about the fleshy, veined interior of the basin I’m sitting in. There are places in my body just like this, I think to myself. This is just the same as me, writ large. And I’m sure I have parasites just like those squirming things, all the mites and leeches and worms and other tiny things, just even tinier, single-celled or at the very least simple organisms, living inside of me, just like these are.

I put my hand on the floor hesitantly and I swear I feel, just for a moment, the throb of a titan heartbeat somewhere resounding in it like the echo of a vast drum.

“Alright people! Let’s get moving!”

I push myself up, nearly bang heads with Elena. Our helmets are off still so it’s dark, the lights are strobing all around as everyone puts theirs on. “Sorry,” I say to her, but before I can get the word out fully she’s seized me by the shoulders and kissed me hard and deep on the lips, her tongue skating over my teeth lightly before we part, her gleaming grin the only part of her I can really see, and I’m left breathless. For the next fifteen minutes of hiking I can’t seem to wipe the smile from my face.

 * * *

 The first difficulty arises only about an hour after we left the rest site. The vent we were passing through widened out, a sign Elena explained meant that we were beginning to enter the old Organ Trail, sort of a central hiking path through some of the more interesting areas of the Pit. It meant easier going, which I was thankful for; the area had been cleared and levelled a long time ago, back before 2007, and even though some of the built areas had been wrecked by those titan convulsions, now years past, there was still a great deal of flat ground and even in some parts metal platforms and walkways for us to use, which certainly gave my aching arms and legs a little solace.

It happened just at the end of one of those walkways, a short, narrow tunnel through a conic gape of flesh that truncated down from the ceiling like an abraded sphincter. The walkway through it still had age-old hydraulic jacks keeping the fleshy ceiling from collapsing inward on it, and though the Sergeant and Fumi, up at front, showed a little trepidation at the notion of passing through with only those jacks to secure it, there was no other real option; the portable jack Slate had wasn’t strong enough to provide any sort of security, even if we set it up in the middle of the passage at full load strength. Plus, Crookshank had loudly and crudely reasoned, if the fucking thing hadn’t caved in in the last four fucking years, what are the fucking odds it’ll fuck us in the ass right as we walk under it?

Hard to argue with that logic. And, to Crookshank’s credit, the fucking thing didn’t fuck us in the ass, although I couldn’t stop myself from staring up at the bloated, swollen flesh of the ceiling as I passed under it, a tiny ice-cold trickle of fear welling in my gut as I considered the sheer weight that was likely behind that glossy, straining surface. Suit or no suit, that’d kill me.

We hardly make it thirty yards from the ending of the tunnel before Joker tears through the flesh of the trail and plunges down into darkness. Euler actually yelps and we all whip around and see the outline of the pit the robot had fallen through, an irregular craggy chasm of flesh. We make our way cautiously to its edge and peer down and I almost laughed, for there just fifteen feet or so below us is Joker, his head inclined upwards, the running lights on the side blinking anxiously, looking for all the world like a forlorn and anxious dog waiting for its master to come rescue it.

Then all manner of cursing and expletives. It was for all the world like watching the groups of construction workers you’d see sometimes on the side of the highway, about six of us standing around mutely with our arms folded or akimbo, watching, while two others ran about frantically trying to accomplish something. The Sergeant and Euler had another shouting match which ended with the Sergeant throwing up his hands in disgust when Euler explained that the damn thing weighed around five hundred pounds and that nobody had told him to look out for crevices like that. Crookshank was in favor of jumping down and tying a rope around Joker’s waist and then the rest of us hoisting him out that way, but Klaus stops him and tosses a tiny white tab down into the murky liquid pooling around Joker’s feet.

“Acid test strip,” Elena murmurs to me when I shot her a questioning glance.

Nearly a dozen headlamps focus in on the tiny floating strip. Crookshank spits a disgusted curse when it turns a violent shade of pink.

“Good thing Klaus threw that in,” Elena calls, a tiny smirk coloring her words, and Crookshank rolls his eyes at her.

“What’s going on – oops. Sorry.”

Makado’s voice had flourished in my ears, sounding as rich and full in the helmet as though she’d been standing right next to me. Then the transmission clicked off. A couple of chuckles from the rest of the squad and then I realized – she must have dialed to the wrong frequency, spoken to all of us instead of just the Sergeant. He inclines his great slab of a head, one hand pressed to his helmeted ear, nodding occasionally, and then motions to Euler. “Euler,” he says. “Can you make it dig in and climb out?”

Euler stares at him blankly. “You mean into the - ?”

“Yes, goddam it, into the side of the wall.”

Poor Euler. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to. His hands are shaking lightly on the remote and all of us staring at him waiting for him to do it probably isn’t helping. He presses a complex series of buttons, manipulates the joystick carefully, and down in the pit Joker reaches up and plunges his hands into the fleshy wall, using about as much effort, it looks like, as it’d take to push into sand. Joker lifts himself off the ground and then hesitantly pulls one hand out, dripping with gore, and reaches upwards.

“Today, Euler.”

I almost, almost snap something at the Sergeant, but I bite my tongue. Whatever sort of peace we brokered the other night, it seemed like a tentative one, and I’d rather he was yelling at Euler, not me.

Sorry, Euler.

“Hey, Roan?”

I reach down to the radio and click it on. “Makado, what’s up?”

“Hi,” she says. “I just wanted to let you know that earlier today I got a call from our mutual friend Erica.”

I can feel my eyebrows raising of their own accord. “Really?” I ask. “Was she able to get in touch with - ?”

“With her guy down there? No, she wasn’t. She was calling to let me know that she was sorry,” Makado laughs, “and to tell you the same, that she’s sorry.”

“Christ,” I mutter. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“I’ve already spoken to the Sergeant about it and we’ve decided that on the way back up you’ll make some detours, check some spots that he might be holed up, but since we can’t make contact with him…”

“Right.”

“How are you doing down there?”

“Um. I’m alright. This is a bit of a new experience for me.”

“That’s one way to put it. Getting good footage?”

Me and my camera watch as Joker pokes his head up over the lip of the crevasse. Next to me Elena gives a little whooping cheer. “Yeah,” I say, turning so that Elena’s in the shot. She looks over at me, looks down, the lens reflecting in her helmet, flashes index and middle finger in a v at me. “You could say that.”

“Good. Well, that’s all, just wanted to check in with you.”

“Heard about you and Peter,” I blurt before I can stop myself. Makado grunts questioningly, and I roll my eyes at placing my foot directly in my own mouth as usual. “You know,” I clarify, “in the supply closet.”

There’s a moment of frozen silence and then Makado bursts out laughing. “Goddam it,” she sputters. “Slate told everyone, didn’t he?”

“More or less.”

“That fucker. Well, yeah. We, ah, got a little carried away.”

“I’m happy for you,” I tell her, and I find myself mildly surprised that it’s actually true. “He’s right here if you want to talk to –“

“No, no, it’s okay, I’ve actually been talking to him all day, more or less. Cause, you know, the equipment up here, I can put a direct line in to whichever one of you I like.”

“Right, of course.”

“Well,” Makado says, and I smile softly to myself beneath the helmet.

“See you, Mak.”

“See you.”

The radio line clicks off and then I’m alone inside my own head again.

Joker is dripping with blood now and I make sure I take plenty of video of him; a couple of stills as well, just because it looks metal. Like something straight out of a movie. Then once Euler has checked him over and wiped off the worst of it we go back to trudging down the vent like nothing has happened. Euler takes more care to keep Joker walking in step behind us and though Elena points out a couple of the fissures to me, skin crawling as I examine the thin membranous layer separating them from the air, nobody falls into any more.

Another couple of hours of walking and then another break. I have to go back three menus to check the time on my camera; some of the others’ helmets, I’m told, have heads-up displays on the interior that show details like that; mine either doesn’t have this functionality or it’s switched off so as to not overwhelm me with extraneous visual noise. It’s six in the evening; Elena tells me that the plan is to make it to our stopping point for the day by nine or ten. We’re over the worst of it, she says grinning, and then because we’re towards the back with only Joker behind us to see, she reaches down and squeezes my ass lightly and I respond in the only way I know how, by upping the ante, and reaching for her and groping her taut breasts clumsily through the suit before she spins away from me laughing. I still cast a nervous glance behind and meet Joker’s faceless metal gaze. I peer at him again for a little before I turn back around. I haven’t told Euler yet of what happened in the gondola on the way down but the more I think about it and turn it over in my head the more I’m convinced it must have been nothing. Just a little software glitch of some kind.

It amazes me how easily the fantastic surroundings I’m in become mundane. Just scant hours ago I was nearly getting sick breathing the air but now I’m grateful for it when I pop my helmet and gulp down great lungfuls of it, cloying and organic and thick but not recycled, not passed through a dozen filters before reaching my lungs.

We’re in the Organ Trail proper now, great wide cavities and veins and vesicles and all these other little fiddly medical names that pass between everybody like old friends but which leave me halting. What’s the difference between a vein and a vent? A vesicle and a ventricle? What about an organ and a cavity? I don’t know, and if I asked I’d only expose my ignorance, I’d only be patronized. I did ask Elena a few innocuous questions in that nature but every time she answered me she did so with a smug little smile and it made me feel small so eventually I stopped asking, even though I know she probably didn’t mean to do it.

Break. Another granola bar, another bottle of water. Have to stay hydrated. Sergeant comes around to all of us, makes sure we’re drinking enough. He doesn’t bark at me, he’s – not kind, but not awful. I hold hands with Elena surreptitiously there in the dark and though I can barely feel her through the thick suit, knowing she’s there is a comfort.

I think about Erica’s boy, whoever he was to her. There wasn’t enough of a resemblance for me to think that they were family but obviously she cares about him. I think about him alone down here for almost four days now. I think about how scared I’d be in the same position.

I have to fucking piss.

I get up and Elena eyes me. “Where’re you going?”

“To take a leak. What’s the protocol down here, just squat down and go wherever?”

She makes a face. “Unfortunately. If you’re male you have the luxury of using an empty water bottle but if not…”

“Right,” I say. I’ve gone camping before so the concept isn’t entirely foreign to me but it still isn’t particularly tasteful either. I make my way towards a discrete corner, a little fold of flesh that drapes down from the ceiling like a curtain.

“Don’t go far!” Elena calls from behind me, and I throw her a thumbs-up without turning. It’ll just take a moment anyway. Behind the curtain is actually another corridor – a vent, I guess, is the term everyone else seems to use most commonly. I eye it a little warily before I step forward. It’s dark in there, and I feel a little more exposed than I thought I would as I unzip the bottom portion of the suit and squat down, choosing a dingy little corner, a little wrinkled knot of flesh like the accordion-like joint between the thumb and the rest of the hand.

I do my business quickly and then seal the suit, taking time to check all of the joints like I was shown in the brief training the engineer fitting me had given. I –

Something moves in the vent ahead of me and I freeze. I can’t see it properly, it’s far too dark, but it seems large, larger than I am. I take a hesitant step back, eyes locked on its wavering silhouette, and then I reach down with my thumb along the side of the helmet, carried loosely at my side, and press the button for the headlamp, and it casts a beam of light over the thing, and it is so large, larger than me, towering at least eight feet tall there in the vent, all whipping tentacles and soft spongy tissue. It has wide, strange eyes that peer at me blearily in the sudden light, its long, snakelike, curiously vulnerable-looking body surrounded by a halo of pale venous fronds or tendrils, light pink and throbbing. It reaches out for me and I start to scream but the sound catches in my throat, and then I take a panicked, scrambling step backwards and the cleats dig in the wrong way and I pitch to the ground. I hit hard, knock the air from my lungs, and then I really can’t scream even though my brain has finally caught up with what’s happening and I’m trying to force my abused lungs to work, all I can manage is a little croaking noise.

The thing scuttles closer to me. The tendrils are starting to wrap around my leg and I kick at it and scoot backwards, but they tighten around my ankle and hold me still. I can feel terror inside of me like I’m a cocoon, like it’s clawing at my skin and if it makes a hole in me I’ll disappear, evaporate, vanish, I’ll scream and scream and -

“Roan?” Elena calls. It sounds as though she’s coming towards the coil of flesh I’d hidden behind. “We’re getting ready to go.”

“Help,” I manage to croak, and then Elena bolts around the corner, her pistol already clearing the holster. I feel the tendrils around my leg loosen and then slip away as she marches towards the thing completely fearlessly. She isn’t even pointing the gun at it. She stands up on her tiptoes as best she can in the bulky cleats and stares at it, stares it down, the thing retreating on its millions of whiplike tentacles, before finally it turns tail and flees down the vent, making a noise like pudding being poured into a bag full of live eels.

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter as Elena helps me up. “What the fuck was that?”

“Venous shamble,” she tells me. “Big one, too. Would have stuck a proboscis in you and sucked you dry if you let it. Why didn’t you shoot it or something? They’re pussies, even if you missed it would have run away.”

“I didn’t think of it,” I say quietly, looking at her. I can feel myself trembling with the comedown of the adrenaline and I feel defensive. “I didn’t - I don’t know, I froze up and -“

Elena’s face falls, and then she is crouching next to me and undoing my helmet gently, cradling me in her arms. “It’s okay,” she tells me. “It’s okay, nobody could expect you to do any different.”

I blow a big breath out. “Okay,” I say. “Okay, I’m good.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Here, come here.”

“What is it?”

“Kiss me,” I tell her, and I see Elena grin.

“We are moving, ladies!” the Sergeant calls from back in the main chamber, and both of us jump. Elena hauls me to my feet and I slot the helmet back onto the neck of the suit.

“Thanks for saving me,” I tell her, and though she rolls her eyes she still smiles at me.

“Why do I feel like I’m going to hear that a lot from you?” she asks, and I shrug and then we hold hands for the next two hours, there at the back with Joker trudging along behind us with squishy pneumatic footfalls, and after long enough of that I finally, finally feel my insides loosen up and the terror that had been lurking inside of me gradually vanish.

The rest of the night passes without incident. We make it to the broad flat exposed bone plate that we’d planned to camp on and Fumi sets up a portable stove and passes around MREs. I get one that’s a vegetable omelet and though Elena offers to trade with me because apparently it is the foulest piece of food science that the US Military has ever seen fit to inflict on its soldiers and I, being a mere civilian, am unprepared to face its manifold horrors, I actually kind of like it, especially once I mix in the little hot sauce packet.

Afterwards, Elena helps me set up the weird hexagon-panelled tent, which I am hopelessly confused by, inside one of the many vents leading to the basin, which she explains is necessary because the tent has to brace against the vent walls in order to keep its shape. Eventually she laughs at me, though not unkindly, and tells me not to worry about it, she’ll set it up. The tents are two-person, and there seem to be a series of accustomed pairs, Fumi and Ellis, Klaus and Slate, Crookshank and the Sergeant. Elena, when I ask her, tells me that she got a tent to herself normally. That leaves Peter and Euler to bunk up together, but they seem to be getting along alright, so that all works out, I suppose. We’ve left Joker there on the bone plate by himself. Euler hasn’t shut him down but put him into some sort of guard mode so he’ll wake us if anything gets into the basin, but Elena assures me that up this high in the Pit nothing noteworthy is going to bother us. The biggest things up here, she says, are the shambles, and they only bother to attack isolated stragglers, things they know they can kill. They’re very fragile, apparently, and know it.

Elena goes to relieve herself and I clamber into the tent, lay out the mats and sleeping bags. I double-check the map on my suit computer, make sure I know which vent leads to the ballast bulb Makado had mentioned to me. Just thinking about it gives me shivers but I resolve not to worry about it until later. Then I strip my suit off and then shrug out of my underclothes as well. My hair is a little lank from being in a helmet all day and although I’ve applied antiperspirant liberally I can’t escape the suspicion that I don’t smell anywhere close to roses.

No matter. I drape myself across the sleeping bags in what I hope is a sexy manner and play with myself lightly until finally Elena unzips the tent.

“Sorry I took so long,” she says, clambering inwards. She hasn’t seen me yet, she’s making sure her pack makes it inside. “Fumi is fucking with the stove and –“

She sees me then and her mouth drops open. I keep my voice low and sultry.

“How should I reward my savior?” I ask her, and she puts the bag down slowly, a grin spreading across her face.

“I could think of a few ways,” she says, her voice low and husky, and then she is crawling over to me. Her lips meet mine and become entangled and she is slipping her suit down around her shoulders with my one-handed help, and then her hands are roaming over my breasts and my stomach and my thighs and the place where my thighs meet, and then what she does to me next makes me stop thinking.

 * * *

 “Mm.”

“That was nice.”

“Here, hold me. Tighter.”

“If I hold you any tighter you’ll break something.”

“Do you ever feel,” I ask, shifting myself slowly around in her arms so that I could face her, “as if you simply can’t get close enough to someone once you’ve just made love? Like, you’ve got your arms around them and you’ve put your leg up over their hip –“

“Like this?”

“Yes, just like that. And you’ve got your face pressed just here into their collarbone and you can feel them breathing against you, but it just isn’t close enough?”

“I know what you mean.”

“That’s how I feel.”

“That tickles, don’t kiss me there.”

“But you have such a nice collarbone,” I tell her. “How can I not kiss it?”

“God,” Elena laughs. “That’s so cute. You are so damn cute, has anyone told you that?”

“Once or twice, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“This really is your first time with a girl?”

“Yes, if we don’t count last night.”

“You’re very good.”

“Mm. Call me a good girl.”

“You’re a good girl.”

“Your good girl?”

“If you’d like to be.”

“I think I’d like that.”

Elena reaches up and puts her hand in my hair, holds me closer to her. I feel such a giddy upswelling of joy in my heart and stomach that I nearly start laughing. Elena feels it, some little shake or shudder in me, and looks down at me with sudden concern. “Are you okay?” she asks, and I nod.

“Yes, I’m just – happy.”

We are silent for a long while. I can feel Elena’s nimble fingers counting the vertebrae in my naked back, and her soft tapping touches make me shiver and clutch closer to her.

“Tell me about yourself,” she tells me, and I feel a little irrational stab of fear clench in my gut. “I don’t know hardly anything about you, just that we get on well.”

“Alright,” I say after a moment. “I grew up in Corpus Christi. No siblings, only child. I – “

“Me too.”

“Only child?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“God, no,” Elena laughs. “I was so lonely as a kid. My family, we lived way out in the boonies in Wisconsin, nobody around hardly. Just me and my folks.”

“It sounds nice.”

“You are not very much of a people person, are you?” she asks. She inclines her head downwards and kisses me on the forehead, and then I manage to scoot myself up enough that she can find my lips.

“What gave it away?”

“Tell me more. You grew up in Corpus Christi.”

“Went to school in Oklahoma. Got a degree in Literature, bounced around for a while doing journalist things. Worked at a television station for a while, ended up here.”

“How the hell did you end up here?”

“Same way you did, probably,” I grin. “Dumb luck.”

“No, really, I’m curious.”

Goddam it, Elena. I cup her breast in my hand. When I pull back from her to do so I can still feel her breathing against my chest, the ocean-swell rise and fall of hers fitting into mine. I run my thumb over her nipple and see her bite her lip, and I smile to myself, trying not to look too self-satisfied. Elena doesn’t let me enjoy it, though; she shakes her head at me and slips her hand over her breast, covers it from me. “Don’t avoid the question,” she says.

Goddam it, Elena.

I shrug, pretend embarrassment. “I knew someone in management who pulled the strings for me. Came in as an intern then got offered a full position and I accepted cause the pay was fantastic. I do clerical stuff, mostly, you know, data entry, office stuff. I was afraid to tell you, cause…”

“Cause why?”

I decide, for once, to tell her the truth. “Because you intimidate me,” I say. I look her in the eyes for as long as I can muster before I shut mine and bury my face in her collarbone again. I lasted about five seconds. Her eyes are ferociously grey. “Because I feel like you’re going to realize that I’m not –“ I start, and then I realize what I’m saying and cut myself off.

“I don’t want to know how that sentence ends,” she says firmly, taking my head gently in her hands and bringing it up to hers. “You lock that down,” she tells me, pressing her forehead to mine, staring at me. I force myself to look at her, even offer her a tiny smile, or at least I try to, but it feels like the same great hand that’s wrenching at my heart is tugging at my lips as well.

“I just don’t – Elena, there’s –“

Where the hell am I going with that? What am I going to say? There’s nothing I can say.

“Shh. Don’t.”

“Goddam it,” I mutter helplessly. She doesn’t understand, I can tell from the way she’s looking at me. Mute sympathy writ large in those wide, pretty eyes. Fuck.

“Look,” she says. “If you’re having doubts it’s, it’s okay. If it’s just sex maybe that’s one thing, but I don’t know if you want to think of anything more, I don’t know how you feel, but if I make you feel bad or wrong or guilty or -“

“Don’t let’s talk about it,” I tell her. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

I let out a little laugh, barely a breath’s worth. “I have a lot of things I’m sorry for.”

“Has it been a while for you?”

“How do you mean?”

“Being with anyone, I mean.”

I feel like I’m going to cry. This isn’t going how I wanted it to. I don’t know how I wanted it to go. This isn’t it.

I feel a huge, stupid paroxysm of guilt welling up inside of me. I turn around so I don’t have to look at Elena, so she doesn’t have to look at me. She puts her arms around me, one arm draped across my chest, tucking me close to her, the other slipping down around my hip and pulling me closer in to her. I can feel the tapered v that her hips and her thighs make resting softly against my ass. She’s so warm.

“Roan,” she says. I can feel her lips moving against the back of my neck. “I don’t know what’s happened to you in the past, I don’t know what kind of shit you’ve had to go through. But I promise that nothing you can tell me is going to change –“

She thinks it’s about her. I almost laugh out loud at the simplicity of it. She thinks I’m having regrets, she thinks – she thinks whatever kind of pathetic moral compass I have spinning in circles inside of me is disagreeing with my monkey hormones’ efforts to make me cum. Goddam it.

“I’m gonna hurt you,” I tell her, knowing as I say it that it’s true. “I’m not going to mean to but I’m going to anyway, I’m going to hurt you, I’m going to fuck this up, and I don’t want to –“

“Roan –“

“- and I’m fucking dreading it because the last relationship I was in was not good, and I don’t want to believe that I’ve been changed by it, but –“

Alright Roan, you can stop now.

“- and I’m just scared because I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want you to hate me, and -“

“Roan!”

I stop. I put my face in my hands. I feel a tiny drop of moisture on my back and I realize that Elena must be crying, and I roll over. “Oh no,” I tell her. “No, no, goddam it, don’t cry, I didn’t mean to –“

“You didn’t make me cry,” she tells me. “I’m crying because whatever happened to you, you didn’t deserve it, and hearing you like this makes me so sad –“

“Elena –“

She hushes me again and for a long, long while we lay there entangled, her lips pressed to my collarbone now, her sweet-smelling hair in my face, and she holds me so tightly that I finally begin to calm down. I think for a long, long while about what I should say, about what I should tell her that might excuse the – the mess I made of what should have been a relatively pleasant evening, but then as her breaths ripsaw upwards into tiny wheezing snores, I realize that it doesn’t really matter.

It takes me about ten minutes to slowly extricate myself from her grasp, to grab my suit and snake my way out of the tent with it in tow. I turn back around to zip the tent back up and I see Elena’s eyes cracked open, watching me, and though I almost jump I give her a soft little smile.

“Where are you going?” she groans, reaching out for me, and I lean back in and take her hand, bring it to my mouth and kiss her on the knuckles.

“I have to take a piss,” I tell her. “I’ll be back soon, go back to sleep.”

She looks as though she wants to protest but she’s too sleepy to do so. She gives me a little smile and then falls back onto her pillow, and I zip the tent up and shrug into my suit quickly. It feels strange and coarse on me, not having bothered to put on any underclothes beforehand, but it’ll do.

Then I turn and make my way as silently as I can towards the dark branching offshoot of tunnel that I marked as the path to the ballast bulb.

Continue with Part 17

Back to Table of Contents

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"