#when I wanna be masc or fem no one can tell me I'm not enough for either

[majimasleftasscheek]

🧍‍♀️ㅤ

[smokeypeaches-and-honeyplums]

First i just wanna say your headcanons are seriously top notch, excellent work 👌. Ok now onto the actual request, could you do the NSFW alphaber for Macaque like you did for Redson? Don't forget to have a lovely day. 💙

What a way for me to return lmao. Thank you for the compliment, I tend to get self conscious about my writing.

You've heard it all before. Sorry for being inactive, I'm coming back, especially with the new specials coming out. I have more time on my hands. Gonna go through the box until I can start accepting again.

Edit post-s5: all is hell and I just need to cope atp what the FUCK was that season/pos

Reader is Gender-Neutral by default!

// NSFW!! MINORS DNI //

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I like to imagine Macaque is very cuddly for aftercare. Tapping into his primal side, he's more possessive and protective. So, he holds onto you, petting you as he whispers in your ear, helping you down from subspace if he has to (or domspace if you topped).

Given he has portals, shadow travel and clones, he can get all your needs met without leaving you. So, you get cuddles AND resources provided. The perfect aftercare.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Macaque honestly doesn't like much about himself. He can talk the talk, looking as if he has a healthy or overbearing ego, but get him alone for long enough? He'll be second guessing how he even blinks

Exaggerating, of course

Point is, there's not much. A lot of it has been marred as well, so it makes it worse. Though, he's come to love his face. With or without the glamour, you've gotten this far with him and loved him through his roughest time. And it's one of the things you seemed to fall for

Besides, he's gotta admit, he does look a bit on the good side.

On you though, if you're Masc leaning, he loves your arms. Shows your strength and capabilities, and their nice to look at. It feels nice to be vulnerable in them

If you're Fem leaning, he'll admit, he's a bit of an ass guy. Ass and thighs, specifically. Their nice to lay on. And they also feel so nice between his fingers, against his hips...

Ahem.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Leaning into that more primal side, Macaque likes to mark you now and then. He isn't very fond of making messes, borderline germaphobe if you asked me, but there's a part of him that likes to make a mess out of you specifically, in such a way no one else could, in such an intimate setting

It gives him a sense of control and possession of something intimate he's honestly been lacking for... however long its been honestly

However, if you make big messes/are a squirter, he's eating that shit up, figuratively and literally

It's like ambrosia on his tongue

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Believe it or not? Macaque doesn't really have a dirty secret. None he would consider one, anyways.

But, a secret at ALL would be how Macaque really wants to be cherished. He DOES want to give up control to a degree, he's just scared of getting hurt again. You can only do so much to heal his soul, so when he DOES bottom, CHERISH it. He doesn't do it easy

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Can I say no? Not really?

Okay, well, not completely, but he's a quick learner

Macaque has been dead for however long it's been. And in that time, he definitely kept to himself A LOT. Hard to make connections when you're supposed to be, ya know, DEAD. So he didn't pick up much. But he did pick up SOMETHING

But, he's a quick learner. So don't worry too much. He does ask that you tell him if he's doing something wrong though, he doesn't wanna hurt you

That's the last thing he wants to do

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Honestly, in contrast to Redson, Macaque hates any position where you can see his face in turn. Sure, he loves to see yours, but contrary to popular belief, he HATES how he looks.

He knows how to fake it til he makes it, so that confidence is very exaggerated

But hey, at least he still gets to have a good show as he has his way with you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He'll pop a joke now and again, don't get me wrong. Macaque isn't AS much of a hardass about it in comparison to how Redson would be about the moment. Though he doesn't want it completely ruined

He won't hesitate to make you laugh though. Especially if it helps ease tension

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's a monkey. Hair goes crazy

Macaque never thought to really groom down there. I mean, why would he? He never expected to get to this point with anyone again.

So no, he's not really "well groomed," so I hope you don't mind fur in your mouth if you go to town on him in either regard on either side

He does develop a habit to get better groomed though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Macaque is very intimate. He cherishes this, cherishes YOU. You mean so, so much. You've gotten this far with him, so he treasures you and whenever you guys get down and dirty, he does it with the intention of love making.

No primal urges

No biting (unless you want to, that is)

Just pure and utter devotion.

Maybe it's because it's all he's known, but it's how he shows his love to you. Praise and devotion.

uh- where were we again?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Macaque only really starts to masturbate proper when he gets in a relationship with you and start to get intimate (or just, getting intimate in general if you're just fwb)

Don't get me wrong! It's not like he HASN'T touched himself before. He's a demon at the end of the day, urges happen

It just increased in frequency when he got tangled up with you

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Honestly? BDSM. Especially Bondage. Bondage specifically on you, though. For... obvious and not so obvious reasons

Roleplay! He's an actor, he's dramatic, he's a theater kid. He's gotta put it somewhere, right?

He's very partial to oral and might even have an Asphyxiation kink, in regard to both of you. Especially you though. And, in moderation so neither of you get hurt

Likes to use his clones on you now and again. It's fun to see

Would you believe me if I said he has a slight Exhibition kink? Listen to my vision-

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As far away from FFM as possible /hj

Macaque prefers it to be somewhere he can have you to himself. In the future, or some point in time, he could entertain the idea of sharing. Maybe. But until then, no one gets to see the faces you make.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Macaque is a simple man/demon. Anything on average to get ANYONE going would get him going

Show a bit of skin in the right places, curve a certain way, bend over in front of him

He's a simple man/demon. He's allowed to give in to his vices when he's tempted by the likes of you

If you're Masc leaning, he'll start to get going just from seeing your arms and muscles flex, even if you're doing something simple. He folds easy

If you're Fem leaning, anything that shows off your ass and/or thighs has him weak in the knees and absolutely unable to keep his hands to himself. He folds easy²

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Macaque absolutely REFUSES to be bound. He'll entertain the idea of holding himself back, but he REFUSES to have his legs and arms bound. For, again, obvious and not-so obvious reasons

Macaque REFUSES to hurt you in any way beyond the asphyxiation. He regards you in such a high light, that he refuses to purposefully hurt you. It'd destroy him, no matter how much you would tell him its okay, no matter the context. So no knifeplay, bloodplay, or anything of that sort.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Macaque's asphyxiation kink purely stems from oral, I am gonna be honest

He'dchokeonthestrap

He prefers to give than to receive, but if offered, he'll DEFINITELY take the chance. You didn't hear that from me though

He also likes the praise he gets from it too, but again, didn't hear that from me

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

If you couldn't tell from how much I say it, Macaque revels in you as a whole, so he likes to take it slow.

He tends to take things slow, no matter what it is, so you better best believe that he is taking his time with you. He'll squeeze in some teasing too to make you feel good

He wants to savour you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Just because Macaque wants to savour you, doesn't mean he can't also have appetizers now and again

He'll have a quickie now and again, but don't be surprised if he asks for more. But it's also not impossible for it to be enough for him, so if he needs to get off, he'll settle

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If you can't tell, the answer is No. For most things

Macaque is still willing to experiment, don't get me wrong, but he has very set boundaries for what area he'll be willing to experiment with and what he won't.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Look at him. Look at him and tell me you don't think he wouldn't be able to LAST.

Macaque's capable of a lot of things in and out of combat, so he definitely has the Stamina to last. Honestly, I have a general headcanon that demons, especially more powerful ones, have tons of stamina.

Have fun walking if you teased him :D

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys are a possibility. Macaque doesn't own em, so you'd have to bring them into the fray first.

Tease him though, and watch him melt in your hands when you get him to bottom. He makes the sweetest sounds

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Macaque's only unfair if you're unfair. And he'll always return the favor tenfold, no matter how badly you teased him. It's only fair, right? And besides, it's not like he's the only one that makes such sweet sounds

But trust, if Macaque starts teasing, you're in for a LONG night

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Macaque has sensitive hearing, if you couldn't tell, but that makes it all the better to him

He loves to growl in your ear if he tops, hear his pants and moans as he makes both of you feel good, hitting that spot you told him felt so good that one time, feeling you cling to him

And when he bottoms? He goes the full fucking MILE

Macaque is LOUD when he bottoms. If he's being this vulnerable, he might as well go all out. So he WHINES, he CRIES and by the great sage, does he MOAN.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Macaque's a dom-leaning switch, if you couldn't tell by now from what I've been implying, only bottoming once he's comfortable enough to and with his initiation the first go around

Also, whenever he teases, I like to imagine he likes to use his shadow abilities for various ideas (with your approval, of course). This includes Bondage, his clones, transformation. I mean, shit, sky's the limit

I also like to think he's not very good with the usual things at first. Things like dirty talk, foreplay, stuff like that. He will ask for guidance. He doesn't wanna fuck it up with you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I can FINALLY talk about it

Macaque's not some "well-endowed" sex master, so he's not gonna be packing some star-seeing dick either. Well, he could, when he knows how to use it

The guy's above average, at 7.1 inches and 5 in. in width lacking in curvature. He's never thought anything of it, since he never needed to use it often

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Demons have a naturally high libido, and Macaque is no different.

Same as I said with Redson, Macaque isn't some raging, horny demon just because of the type of demon he is. He can be primal, but he has control over it

Entertain it though...

Have mercy on your legs

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once Macaque finishes for the night (or, however long,) he can be seen almost passing out. He'll make sure you're fine, hence why he kinda leans on his clones to care for you while he cuddles into you, but he kinda crashes out once he's officially spent. A bad habit of his

[teenagedirt]

can you write something about sam comforting/protecting reader when she gets scared while exploring haunted places? thanks <3

I'm right here.

Sam X fem reader

Note: I set this where they went to the conjuring house for a week,the video isn't out yet, so I have no idea what really happened, just coming up with it.

Your pov

I nervously shuffle into the house, clutching Sam's hand as if it was my anchor to the earth and if I let go I'd float away. They film the intro like normal, thanking everyone for 10 million subs. I was quiet, the feeling of this place threw me off. Made me feel uneasy, naturally of course with all the stories and evidence surrounding the haunting that took place here. "I think we should start with the spirit box" sam chimes in.

"We just got here like fifteen minutes ago, already?" I ask, sam had begged me to come, so I caved in and tagged along. I was regretting that decision, I should have just stayed home.

"Yeah. We need to get as much evidence as possible" he replies, colby still walking around in circles, as if he were looking for something, he assures us he's not, but it sure looks like it.

"Fair enough" I sit down internally freaking out as the spirt box spits out random words and phrases.

None if them catch my attention, until this string of words. "Death is....coming" I look at them both, a look of fear on my face, sam grabs my hand gently, assuring me it's okay.

"Hoe us this trip already seem like such a bad decision" I say, staring into Sam's eyes.

"Who is death coming for" cokby asks, despite my protests.

"Death, morbid, pain, for, y/n" it spits out the words fairly quickly.

The reality of what the poece of equipment had said sinks in. I stand up, shoving my chair away. "NO, NO WHAT, SAM I CANT" I'm freaking out. I knew that I was going to be criticized for my reaction but the viewers. But unlike sam and colby, I wasn't used to this, so I figured my response was natural and reasonable. "It said my name, are you kidding me. I've never been here, this doesn't make sense. I jnow I'm overreacting, but oh my God, I can't."

Sam's eyes are full with sympathy, I can tell he feels bad. "Hey, hey, it's okay, calm down. It's okay. Sometimes spirits wanna mess with us, that's all. It's okay y/n" he says, I try to calm down, it wasn't working very well, but I looked calm enough on the outside.

"Okay...I'm fine. I'm sorry I just got freaked out" I was really apologizing to the viewers, so maybe they would completely be infuriated by me.

The rest if the night sam payed close attention to me. It was now around four in the morning, I didn't really understand why we stayed up so late, considering we had an entire week to investigate. "Hey...are you okay, wince the spirit box thing you've been jumpy." He asks, I only nod. He sighs, "it's okay to be scared, your not used to this, me and colby are, and hell when we get scared, come here" he says, I hug him tightly.

"What if, the spirit wasn't just joking around? What if it was serious? This is one place that is undeniably haunted sam" with us still wrapped up in a hug he sighs, looking for the right words.

"Babe. I promise, it wasn't being serious, some spirit trying to pull a prank, it's late enough, let's try and get some sleep. Alright?"

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Sorry this is so short! Hope I lived up up ur expectations!

Slowly working through my drafts/requests.

Next fic: johnnie guilbert X masc reader

[solarmagickstar]

Not super into Jessie Gender, but I watched their video on "how we talk about trans men" and I've gotta say it was disappointing asf.

As a trans masc/guy I feel like I can't really have an opinion? Like for me it's like I'm too scared to be angry, like if I am it's just gonna be thrown back at me like "oh it must be those testosterone hormones coming out" or "well of course your all angry your a man" like men can't be sensitive at all or something? It's almost always said in a way to "give me euphoria" cause that's how we're supposed to treat men.

At times it really feels like we're being pushed out of queer spaces because we'll if your a guy you wouldn't wanna be a part of the marginalised group ya know cause "we're escaping to get to privilege" right?

I don't feel like our experience with gender is allowed to be expressed openly and we're absolutely not allowed to be GNC. And honestly the same could probably be said for GNC trans fems too, I don't see a lot of them either.

I feel like in Jessie gender's video they kinda didn't *actually* wanna sit with what they said originally? Like when it came to the Barbie movie I wanted to participate in the conversation of girl hood and how that's still relevant to me and how it's shaped me as the person I am today, how much I enjoyed the Ken dolls experience and how they played with masculine fashion in a way I hadn't seen in a while. But honestly I felt like well this movies for the girls so I probably shouldn't say anything.

Sometimes I wonder if we partially do this to ourselves because a lot of us keep to ourselves and don't really wanna be seen half the time. I haven't talked to the trans masc I knew since we all left Facebook, it's so lonely out here and the more I look for trans content the more I see trans fems and basically only white trans masc (with like maybe 2 poc ones but is that really all we get?) It makes me feel like I don't exist. The only places I can see poc trans masc viking or existing is on sites run by a variety of trans people or is run by a trans masc person living free.

When I see that I think, thank god your fucking real. Thank god I see someone like me thriving and existing out there.

I wanna see more of y'all, like actually see y'all, I feel like I'm fading away as more and more content keeps talking about how bad trans fems (oh and non binary but let's not define what you mean or who you're talking about we just throw them in there cause let's be more inclusive right? But only to you? Great) but the amount of trauma that's in the trans masc community is horrific and is not talked about or addressed at all.

In men's spaces there's not room for queer most of the time, so to find a place to belong and essentially get told my issues aren't as important or that trans fems ("and nonbinary" cause again you're lying to yourself by saying this even if your non-binary) then you're fundamentally missing out on our lives. I don't even feel like we have enough data on us because even the trans masc get lumped in with nonbinary or GNC like that's just fucking normal.

I remember a study was out on trans masc and GNC women about how often all of us deal with sexual assault and it's the closest I've seen and it wasn't even good findings it was depressing. I wish I could find it again. But again that study put us with GNC (pretty sure it was cis) women!

Please not this is coming from someone who's been SA'd pre and post coming out as trans. Did you know some people see us as a way to see if they're gay or bi? Like experiment on us, get us drunk and tell us we should just take it because "well you're supposed to be a man right?" We can't even get to these conversations yet and I'm worried we never will.

Do we even exist? Are we allowed to voice our opinions? Are we allowed to be mad? Are we allowed to be upset with our community? Can we do our own studies? Should we be more visible? I'm scared to, I don't wanna show my face I'm a very private person, but do I need to address that? Is that a bad thing? Is it perpetuated by my environment?

I don't know and honestly I just wanna see more variety of trans masc people, I'm scared we're just gonna stay under the radar and continue to deal with the bullshit we always have.

Ps. Jessie gender 100% did the I have a trans masc friend, no matter how much they said "I'm not doing that" they literally were doing it and there was almost no self reflection on that at all. This wasn't really the video I think they thought it was cause all it did was tell me they don't talk to us very often and that at this point I've just seen heart reacts to comments on their video's comments and not any actual responses to what anyone's said on there. It'll be a process I get it but this video was not good at all and I feel like any trans masc who's getting excited about being seen by a bigish YouTuber is like me desperate for anything validation cause that's kinda how starved we are out here tbh.

[cadybear420]

GOC TDA and ACOR definitely sound like interesting ideas. Definitely would need a lot more dialogue changes, but yeah PB isn't exactly incapable of that.

The genderlocking in BB pisses me off. I liked playing as a f!MC well enough but like... you could have easily changed it to "Bloodkeepers can be any gender" and nothing important about the story would change. RWB MC definitely would have been much more interesting as a guy, the "innocent girl" trope is so fucking tired to me.

As a GNC cis woman I have thought about playing a masculine bodytype with she/her pronouns. But I also feel like even that wouldn't feel right because the writing of the MC is still very normative and I can't truly play as myself. The only of these MCs that stray from the heavily normative dynamics are, what, MAH, COP, and TPA?

We have some improvements in PB but they still have a long way to go. A lot of people act like we're being "too demanding" of PB, but it's simply the fact that they are capable of putting effort into their stories. Again, they're pretty much the only VN/IN app out there that regularly has GOC MC options. And eventually that led to choosing pronouns/gender separately from bodytype. That's good, but we know there's more they can do.

I would love for PB to do what ILW did, where along with choosing pronouns and bodytype, you can also explicitly choose if your MC is cis or trans.

I would adore more bodytype options like you mentioned. As a woman who does not aspire to look hourglass-shaped I'm so tired of the same goddamn cookiecutter body shapes for every MC. I can somewhat go by the rule of "it's just a cookiecutter placeholder bodytype, they're all the same, so I don't count it as canon" and so I'll headcanon my MC with a different bodytype. But when they have to shove 694206661337 lines about "the curves of your waist" down my throat my eyes roll hard. Like they have to go out of their way to remind me how *feminine* my MC's body is. At least make the writing body-type neutral when we don't get to choose it. Though preferably I'd rather just have actual variety in the bodytype options. Literally the only time I can play a buff lady is being a f!orc in BOLAS and even then you can tell they wussed out. Didn't wanna make the f!orc bodytypes *too* masc, otherwise we might lose precious pennies from straight women!

More clothing variety too! I miss in HSS when f!MC had like a premium dress option and a premium tux option. You know I ate that shit up. But like... have they done that in any other series? I don't think so. Bring it back and give us more options. Masc options, fem options, androgynous options. Let the guys wear cutsey crop tops and short shorts and dresses and skirts. Let the gals wear basic ass jackets and jeans.

More explicit words in smut scenes but also more options in smut scenes. Sometimes I liked the vague writing because I could imagine a wlm scene as like pegging because the thought of being penetrated gives me the ick. But hey if they're gonna go further now then like... actually go further. Top/bottom options in mlm scenes and improved wlw smut scene writing is a good start but I'd like to see more that's inclusive for trans and GNC players. PB how is it that you have no problem writing this big forced BDSM scene with Ethan, straight up physical abuse from picking a "BDSM" option in TCH, and fucking animals mating in TDA for Christ sake, but we still don't have one single smut scene where MC and/or LI has the option to use a strap-on?? Hell you even have a two-book-long series dedicated solely to BDSM and not one scene has a strap-on option??? The closest I have ever gotten to getting up in there was getting to stick a finger in m!Sam's hole in TNA 3 Ch 1.

I really don't think this is too much to ask of PB right? I mean ILW did pretty much all of these things. PB is capable of stepping their game up. And I don't wanna hear any shit from thinly-veiled TERFs about how it's "taking the game from women".

When I really think about it, it does come off as rather TERFy when people preach that it's bad to want more GOC stories because "this is one of the few video games where we play as female locked characters, let women have this one thing". Yeah when they say "women" you KNOW they only mean allo cis gender-conforming women, most likely white and straight too.

You're gonna root against male MC options for the sake of "muh few female locked MCs", but we all know damn well you're not gonna root for trans MC options or GNC appearance/romance options for the female-locked MCs. Or any other sort of variety in the options or portrayal of these female MCs that doesn't try to pander to Facebook Karen Moms.

[bellwitchfaggot]

You're really cool and kindness seeps into your words! Thank you! I'm currently trying to come to terms with my own potential genderfluidity, but I feel suspended in honey and lost. How did you figure it out?

rok 1) i wanna say thank you so much for that first sentence i love u aaaa ;_; . secondly. ok this might get long and be totally incomprehensible i’m feeling a lil bit crazy tonight but

i’ve gone back and forth between gender identities for years. i have a tendency to spend about 1-2 years feeling more masculine and then 1-2 feeling more feminine and sort of teeter totter back and forth. obviously on a day to day basis there are still days where i’m more masc or more fem but overall i tend to sort of stay in the same general area of a masc to fem spectrum and then there’s like a sudden change after about a year and a half. this sudden change usually involves shaving my head and my entire sense of style, lol. but this is what genderfluidity looks like on ME. it’s different for everyone. if this isn’t your experience, it doesn’t mean you’re not genderfluid!

i understand the struggle of not being sure what’s going on with your gender, and for me that’s actually something that helped me come to terms with being genderfluid? the aspect of not really feeling secure in any one gender identity or concept, and going back and forth, eventually became less of an aspect of struggling to determine what was going on with my gender and feeling like i was faking being trans for me and more of an identifying factor of my genderfluidity, if that makes sense. like, maybe the reason i can’t tell if i’m a woman or a man or both or neither, and the reason i feel one way one day and then a different way the next, isn’t because i’m confused, but actually because my gender experience encompasses ALL of that and is fluid, and that’s not a bad thing!

a big thing that was very helpful in me coming to terms with certain changes in my gender i’ve experienced recently, and also with having my first sexuality crisis and changing how i identify my sexuality for the first time in 5 years, was to say “fuck labels” in general and try to sort of distance myself from ANY particular identity and just try to vibe with myself and my life and my feelings. labels are NOT inherently stifling, but sometimes they can fail to fully encompass or account for the full scope of human experiences, and if you’re struggling to figure out what’s going on with your gender or sexuality i cannot recommend ENOUGH the act of simply ridding yourself of all expectation to utilize any particular identifier, and just see what you can become and grow into when you simply allow yourself to exist uninhibited.

if you do that, eventually the most comfortable label might come to you, or it might never come to you. you may never feel 100% comfortable with any particular label or identifier. and that’s okay! you’re allowed to just exist with as much nuance as you want or need, without having to put words to any facet or aspect of yourself or your identity. there’s such a societal push to put a name to every aspect of yourself--we see it in the push for people to come to terms with their lgbt identities even if they’re not fully ready, we see it in the push for microlabels that are not necessarily actually beneficial to anyone’s lived experience or sense of self, we see it in the way we’re expected to know what career we want and what school we want to go to and how many kids we wanna have and where we wanna live all our lives when we’re barely out of high school!

but it’s okay to just go about life with no real complete plan or idea of what you want or what you’re doing, and just vibe with yourself and figure it out as you go along. that’s good advice for ANY situation, not just figuring out your gender, but it is also very useful in determining and clarifying any sort of muddy gender feelings you may be experiencing and confused about.

[yenneferw]

same anon as before, thank u for answering!! the problem is i'm always questioning and feeling like i'm faking bc im ok presenting as feminine? but sometimes everything i do feels like a costume and i feel better when my chest is flat and i'm wearing boxers and present more masc? and i can't tell if me being ok bein fem is bc im fluid or bc im just repressing it bc im scared of other ppls reactions? i live in a kind of Conservative area so,,, lmao sorry to bother u, tysm for answering!!

it’s no problem!!! but anyway are u,,, me from another account. i relate to this uhhhhhh a lot rn haha. i think the important thing for you (and for me sjdlfkj) to remember is that whatever your identity is, you’re not faking it. i think some aspects of tumblr like the super ridiculous If You Breathe You’re Problematic aspect of tumblr can sort of teach us to think that if we’re not this, this, and this, we’re not [blank] enough. like all the time since i’m an afab demigirl i feel like i’m Not Nonbinary Enough, which i logically know is bullshit but it’s hard to remember that sometimes.

but again i feel you hardcore, like lately i’ve been wondering if it’s just my internalized transphobia from also living in a conservative area that’s made me shy away from considering that there are any masculine aspects to my identity. like i like some feminine things, like i love having long hair and i love dresses, but at the same time, almost everything else feminine is uhhhhhhhhh sucky to me. we’re the only ones who can actually say who we are and what our identities are and it’s def a struggle. but i mean you can be a trans guy and still be okay with feminine things! it’s if you truly feel Feminine, like You not just certain things about you, that determines if you have any feminine aspects to your identity. and it’s def hard to distinguish that sometimes!! but if you feel like a guy, but you also are okay with some feminine things, you might just be a more feminine guy. it depends on how you feel, which can be annoying when you’re questioning bc i know sometimes it’s hard to tell what you feel.

anyway sorry for going on for so long, i just relate like High fuckin Key. if you wanna talk more about it, send me another ask or message me!!! this is definitely something i can talk about a lot since i’m in a similar situation