#when I tell someone that I’m manic I want them to KNOW that I’m manic

[schmope-is-dead]

:33< SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! YOU ARE NOT MANIC JUST BECAUSE YOU DID SOMETHING IMPULSIVELY!!! I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

[doomedmoth]

Better kind of best friend (part 2)

Pairing : Reader x Alexandra Saint Mleux x Charles Leclerc | Poly & bisexual fem!reader

Warnings : slight emotional cheating, obsessive/possessive/manipulative behavior, suggestive content/smut, fluff then angst then dark fluff, inaccurate racing calendar and school programs, polyamory, use of y/n, slight dacryphilia

Synopsis : When you left the UK for a year long art restoration program in Monaco, you mainly wanted to make some friends. What you didn't expect was to find your best friend on the first day. And then fall in love with her. And then get tangled in the web of Monaco high society as her boyfriend came back to town, unaware of your little affairs. What the fuck happened to you, you just wanted to make some friends...

Moth's prophecy💡 : Hi cryptids ! Thank you for being so supportive, here is the awaited part two with the arrival of Charles ! You can find part one here if you haven’t read it yet. For the sake of it being easier to read for everyone, the dialogues between Alex and Charles are written in English, even though they would speak French between them. We got some angst, we got some very light suggestive content, we got some manic episodes, and that should leave us with the tasty fucked up shit for the last (two lasts ?) chapters. Enjoy !

“Y/N… I’m sorry I…. I have a boyfriend…”

In a fraction of second, the room felt very cold. You suddenly took into account the breeze from the open window, and the uncomfortable scratch of the hair curlers against your scalp, itching to get off. The taste of red wine on your tongue started to feel like a thick paste, making it hard to breathe, and as you got up and away from Alexandra, your head spun, as if you had been hit by a ton of bricks. You needed some air.

“Wait !” Alexandra tried to hold your hand, bring you back down to the ground, but her fingers felt like fire against your skin, and not the enjoyable type. You tried to get away, so she rose up, closing the gap to you. “Please, listen to me… I’m sorry, I know I should have told you earlier…”

You could barely make out her voice with the sounds of the street below her apartment. And why was she looking at you like that, like a deer caught in headlights, like… Like she pitied you ? You felt sick.

“Yeah… Yeah, you should have.” You probably should have felt embarrassed yourself. Shameful you even tried something. But you quickly realized the sickness you felt was not due to shame or sadness, but anger. Two full months had passed, and not more than a day or two had gone by where you hadn’t been together. “Not once, in two months, did you think of mentioning it ?”

You heard yourself as if someone else was speaking. Thoughts swirling in your mind, replaying each of her words and action. Had you missed a hint somewhere ? Were you in the wrong here ? You could replay the movie a hundred times and still, you were sure you would find no flaw. All the nights she had fell asleep in your arms, all the kisses she had peppered your skin with, all the touches and the petnames, now you could see clearly how inappropriate they would have been for anyone with a boyfriend.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Her breathing got heavier and tears started coming to her eyes, yet you had never felt so little pity towards someone. “I didn’t want it to change what we have, and it all got so confusing so quickly for me, I…”

“Because it wasn’t confusing for me ?” You raised your voice at her. You probably should not have, but she had just half-admitted to knowing her behavior had crossed some boundaries. “Please tell me you are in an open relationship. Please Alex… tell me you haven’t just lied to me.” You were pleading, begging. Don’t they say bargaining is one of the five stages of grief ? But her silence and shameful eyes gave you every answer you needed.

“I didn’t lie I… I just didn’t talk about it…”

“It’s the same fucking thing !” Definitely pushing her arms away from you, you started to gather your things from the floor of her living room. Thankfully, you hadn’t changed into your pajamas yet, you thought, or the scene would have been even more embarrassing.

“I didn’t know what to do !” Tears now rolling down her pink cheeks, she was following you around, words tumbling down in a rush to get her point across. “It all happened so quickly and he’s not home and you… You’ve been everything to me, please trust me ! Y/N, please stop !” She tugged at your arm once more, and cupped your face between her hands. Still crying, she planted a soft kiss on your lips, trembling, but this time, you were the one who pulled away. “I’ve never felt this way for a girl before… I’ve never had feeling like this for another woman, or anyone truly and-“

“Oh no.” You immediately cut her off and took two steps back. “No, this is not happening.” Throwing your things in your bag in a hurry, you couldn’t even look at her anymore or else you were sure you would end up either giving in or spitting to her face. “I am not about to be your little uni experiment, your fucking distraction before you go back to the safety of a man’s arms.”

Putting your bag on your shoulder and throwing her curlers to the floor, you gave her one last look, filled with all the anger and disappointment you could muster. So that was it, then ? Fuck it, even crying she was pretty. She had fallen back down to her knees and for a second, you saw yourself laying above her, kissing her wet cheeks, brushing her hair. Maybe you could have her for a night, a few days, a parenthesis of happiness until the man returned. It could not last, but it could exist. Scraping the last bits of this relationship like the bottom of a candle, and you would keep the remnants of it in a secret part of your brain until the year ended. But you knew the pain would be too much. And it wasn’t why you came here in the first place.

“I know what I’m worth, Alex. And I’m worth more than that.”

“Ah cazzo per l’amor del cielo Y/N !” You hid yourself deeper under the cover of your bed as Chiara barged in your room. “Get out !” She pulled on the blanket, as you sighed and whined, too tired to fight. The ginger girl crouched next to you, eyes pleading. “Please make her leave, she’s been knocking on the door since we kicked her out and we can’t close, Marco forgot his keys.” She took one of your hand in hers to help you sit on the edge. “If you don’t, I honestly can’t promise she won’t come in during the night and I actually want to sleep for once. So please. Go.”

You nodded bashfully as she left the room, visibly annoyed. For two weeks now, all eight other students had had to deal with the awkward mood your friendship breakup had installed in the workshop. And that implied, unfortunately for your roommates, Alex coming in at unholy hours, begging to be heard. It was honestly a miracle no one had told you two to fuck off until now.

You pushed the curtains back as quietly as possible, peeking through the window at the entrance of the house. And indeed, there she was, banging on the door. You rolled your eyes and got up to put a coat over your pajamas. In your closet, not-so-well hidden, the scarf she had left you not long before it all went to shit… Your fingers brushed slightly over it, but you left it in place, and headed down the stairs. In the smallest living room, sipping tea and glancing at you, were your two German roommates. You mouthed a “sorry” at them, and opened the door, immediately pushing Alex away from it.

“Stop it before they call the cops on you.” You crossed your arms and took a good look at her. Fiddling with the worn-out sleeves of a sweater your recognized as yours, she looked exhausted. Dark circles under her eyes, hair a mess, she was far from the walking ray of sunshine you had known. You sighed, and started walking towards the parking lot a bit further down the main path, where you knew she had probably parked. “Come. We’ve bothered them enough.”

She followed without making a sound, her head down. You recognized her car, and sat on the small low wall facing it. She tried to sit next to you, but when she felt you move away, decided to stay up. You looked at each other for a while, your silence only interrupted by a few night birds’ chirps and the waves down in the bay.

Two weeks had passed since what you called in your head “the accident”. And if you had trouble living with the aftermath, Alexandra was taking it even worse than you. In order to protect yourself and allow to maybe, one day, recover something good from it, you decided to keep your interactions strictly confined to the subject of the workshop. Considering your two roles had very little to share at this point of the project, it meant that you were pretty much free to ignore her without being too much of a bitch. And lord knew it would have been too hard to stay mad at her with extended contact. Even right now, as she raised her doe eyes at you, you could feel your confidence faltering.

When you were alone in your bed at night, cuddling the plushie she had won you at the funfair, that was when you questioned if you were doing the right thing. After all, she had not promised you anything. You had lived in fantasies, daydreams of a romance carefully crafted by your need for love. Maybe she was like that with all of her friends. Maybe you could go back to being friends.

But no. She had confessed to knowing. To lying. To having feelings too. There was no coming back from this. Only growth and lessons. And right now, this meant for you some space.

“Well, are you going to talk ?” She opened her mouth, then seemed to reconsider, and you groaned. “It’s already 10 and I’m freezing cold, if you got nothing to say I’m leaving.” You started to get up but she put her hands up.

“Wait ! Okay wait sorry, please stay…” You sat back down, closing your coat tighter. “Thank you. I… Okay hm. Putain. Bon.” She took an inspiration, and you knew this meant she was going to talk non stop until her mouth ran dry. “I’m sorry about everything that happened, from our meeting to tonight. I fucked up. I omitted things and I lied and I did everything I could to stay in your good graces because I grew so fond of you so quickly I didn’t know how to deal with it. I really thought we could be best friends and you know I’ve never been really good with girl friendships I told you about it and I admit I may have crossed the line a bit, once or twice but-“ You could not help but scoff. “What ?”

“Sorry, please do go on”

“No, what, tell me ?” She raised her hand to you, and you did not take it.

“Once or twice ? A bit ?” Her lips started trembling and you stopped her before she could start talking again. “Alex. Friends don’t do any of the shit we did. Friends probably don’t sleep almost naked together and cuddling ! God damn it, you hand-fed me pastries in my bed, and you think that’s a little over the line ?” You heard yourself screaming and tried to take a deep breath, but the freezing air only made your lungs hurt even more.

“I’m sorry ! I wish I could tell you I didn’t know but…” She was shaking, from stress or the cold, you did not know. Finally she raised her eyes, and you felt like she was going to be honest, with herself and you, for the first time in weeks. “But the truth is I knew. I knew there could be something more and I wanted it too. I… I think I still want it. But there’s-“

“There’s your boyfriend. Honestly Alex, with all due respect, fuck off. How can you tell me that straight in the eye ? I’m not some homewrecker, and to be completely honest with you” You got up and took a step forward, pushing your index finger against her shoulder. “Even if you guys broke up I wouldn’t want anything with you.” Wow. Nice lie. But at least it seemed to hurt her in all the right places. “You should have experimented back when you were single like everyone else. You played with my feelings, knowing them and knowing we had no chance at anything serious. I did not have a say in this !” At this point you were very thankful you were the only house around, because you were fully screaming. “All I wanted was to make some fucking friends Alex ! And no friend in their right mind would have done what you did to me. So please, if you have nothing more than empty apologies and more pain to offer… please leave.”

“I really like you.” She breathed out the words in a whisper, and it broke the last loose screw of your sanity.

“And I love you !” There. Out it was, your great love confession, blown away by the wind of the sea, destined to forever belong only to the cries of the seagulls. In the end, it wasn’t so hard to say. “But sometimes it’s not enough. Love isn’t enough.” Turning your back to her, you thought this was truly the end. Nothing was salvageable from that night. “Goodnight Alexandra.”

You almost ran back up the parking lot to the gate of the house, through the living room now empty, and up the stairs. You were about to enter your room, but went to the one to your left, Chiara’s. Her window was opened and she was sitting on the edge of it, smoking a joint. Of course, she had heard everything.

“Trouble in paradise ?”

“Fuck off.” You went next to her, taking the joint from her hands. From her seat, she had had a direct view of the whole scene, sound and light.

You took a drag, almost immediately coughing. The weed was disgusting, not half as good as the one you were used to, and Chiara gave you a look of approval, a kind of “it’s the only thing I could find”. Without knowing how or why, you broke down in tears.

When Charles finally hung up from his phone call with his manager, he raised his eyes to see that the taxi had already entered Monaco. The morning light was piercing through the clouds, shining on the wet pavement as to signal the end of the week-long downpour.

Finally home, he thought. He could not wait to be back at his apartment, and enjoy the rare two and a half weeks break before the last races of the year. The flight had been so long, his whole body was still sore from yesterday’s race, and still he was excited for the day to come. He would come home, and have Alexandra greeting him as usual, full of anecdotes and gossips to share. He would give her the gifts he had prepared, and then they would order from the Chinese restaurant they loved. Eat together, chill a bit, probably have sex. Then tomorrow they would go to his mom’s, take the opportunity to get a haircut, and maybe see some friends. He grinned at the perspective of a few days unplanned, going with the flow. Those were so rare nowadays.

The excitement made him tip the driver even more than usual, and he went up the stairs running, his bags almost scattering on the floor multiple times. But as he opened the door, still smiling, his excitement quickly faded. The apartment was completely empty, as if no one had been in it in weeks. He entered carefully, calling for Alexandra, but no answer. Every room still smelled of cleaning products, proof that except for the cleaning lady last Wednesday, it had been desert of any life.

Charles, starting to worry, tried calling his girlfriend multiple times, to no avail. So he threw all of his bags in the bedroom, changed his sweater, took his car keys and double of hers and decided to go check her own apartment. She was never in it, but maybe something had happened ? Thankfully, word hadn’t yet gone out that he was back, which means he was able to get his car out and through Monaco’s streets without any trouble.

The sight when he opened her door was even worse than at his own place. The usually immaculate apartment was in a mess, clothes everywhere on the floor, dishes piling up in the sink, and a good amount of paper bags from food orders scattered across the kitchen. In all of this, a few sobs could be heard.

“Alex ? Mon amour, where are you ?” Charles called out, voice cracking with concern as he navigated the mess in the apartment, searching for any sign of his girlfriend.

Finally, he found her curled up on the couch, hidden under a blanket, desperately sobbing and shaking as she held close a huge plushie he did not recognize. Charles rushed to her side, dropping to his knees next to the couch and wrapping his arms around her. She immediately pulled him in closer, drenching his sweater in tears.

“Hey, hey breathe love… what’s wrong, tell me what’s going on ?” He murmured and tried to hold her face to his, but she would always push back against his neck.

He finally managed to cup her cheeks and started to kiss her face, repeating again and again that she had to breathe. He honestly did not know what to do, he had never seen her so vulnerable, so… broken ? His heart shattered at the mere thought of what could have brought her to this point.

“I- I fucked up Charles…” Alexandra chocked out, her voice breaking in uncontrollable sobs. If she had managed to talk, she would now not let go of his arms, and Charles winced as she buried her nails in them.

“Baby tell me what happened, it can’t be that bad, it’s okay we’ll manage…”

Suddenly Alex’s eyes stayed fixated on Charles’, and her tears calmed down, along with her erratic breathing. She seemed to realize something, and started apologizing profusely. When she managed to talk again, Charles was completely lost as to what had happened.

“I’m sorry… it’s nothing, it’s just… It’s Y/N” Charles nodded. He was actually pretty excited to come back also for you, the mysterious new friend of Alex which she wouldn’t stop teasing him about. She supposedly wanted him to meet you, and Charles had been witness to so many attempts from Alex at making girl friends, he was glad she had finally managed. You seemed like a good person, from what he heard. “We… we got into an argument. We’re not friends anymore. It was my fault and it’s over.”

Charles’ brows furrowed as he helped Alex get out of the blanket. That was it ? Sure, you had seemed like an good friend to Alex, but she had lost a few friends along the way growing up, and none had ever provoked such an extreme reaction. He glanced around the room again, at the state of the whole apartment. But when his eyes landed back on Alexandra, he could feel the plea on her face to not dig much more.

Of course there was more to it. But what kind of friend’s argument would lead to someone completely breaking down like that ?

As Charles held his girlfriend to his chest, rubbing her back and slowly calming her down, he glanced at her phone, and decided he would probably get more directly from you.

Well shit, it was fancy. As you entered the restaurant in the most luxurious part of Monaco, you started to really regret your choice of clothing. Even the lady in charge of welcoming clients eyed you up and down before raising a brow, clearly not impressed.

“I have a reservation ? Well someone invited me, his name’s Charles ?” You could feel yourself blushing as she gauged you.

She then gestured for you to wait to the side as she left towards the back of the restaurant. When she came back, it was to tell you to follow her.

Hidden behind the bar, far from any windows, were a few booths, carefully covered with flower arrangements and ivy leaves curtains. In the one you followed the lady to, a man was sitting, probably around your age, with light brown hair and piercing green eyes. Some curls were falling down on his forehead, and when he raised his head and smiled at you, dimples immediately appeared. Of course he was cute. Of course she had to have a gorgeous boyfriend too.

“Y/N ! Am I pronouncing it right ?” He stood up and thanked the lady, then gestured you to sit in front of him. You nodded and sat back down with him. “So nice to finally meet you ! I’ve heard so much.”

You couldn’t say the same, unfortunately, and the chuckle that left your mouth couldn’t have been repressed even if you tried.

You thanked him, and as he gave you time to scan the menu, you could not prevent yourself from stealing glances. He was dressed pretty casually too, which made you feel better about your own outfit, but you got the same feeling from him as you did from Alexandra when you first met her. There was something rich about the man, luxurious, in the way he presented himself, smiled and talked. And god, the more you looked at him, the more you could tell why she had fallen in love with him. This was the kind of guy you only ever saw in magazines, too pretty to be true. You felt yourself getting dizzy, and put your attention back on the menu. You were probably tired and in need of caffeine, why else would you feel so weak ?

Yet you had no idea he was doing the exact same thing, going over every little detail of your face and posture in his head. He had heard from you, sure, but not as much as he told, and most importantly, he had never seen you, even in pictures. Nothing could have prepared him, honestly. There was something about you, he wasn’t sure if it was physically or in the way you held yourself, that made his heart flutter. Suddenly he felt a bit shy, and completely unable to stop peeking at you. But he quickly reminded himself of why he was here, and chased his thoughts as far away as possible.

“Thank you for coming, first of all.” You gave him a polite smile and thanked the waiter for your coffee. “I’ll be honest with you, especially on the matter of why Alex isn’t here.” There it was. You shifted in your seat, a bit uncomfortable. The closest exit was in sight, thankfully, in case he made a scene or started to threaten you. You had no idea what he knew, and it scared you a bit. “I… I came home two days ago. And Alex was…” He sour laughed, and started playing with his spoon. “A mess. I think it’s the best way to say it. I tried to make her talk but… only thing she gave away is that you two had an argument ? And that it was her fault. But I’ve never seen her like that before. I… I would like, if you don’t mind, I’d like to know what happened.”

Oh shit. So she hadn’t told him anything. Well of course, lie by omission seemed to be her thing. Were you really about to be the one to break the news to her boyfriend, who by the way seemed like a sweetheart, that her girlfriend had almost cheated ?

He gave you an encouraging smile, and you gripped your cup tighter. Why did they have to look so much alike. Everything about him was warm, kind, you could not hurt him even if you tried. What would it bring you, to do that ? Break them up ? And then what ? She was too out of it to do anything good with herself on her own. He seemed like a good person. And you were not a home wrecker. Sure, you didn’t work out. But maybe they could. You were the problem, she hadn’t fully cheated, she still had a chance at fixing up her couple. Who would you be to deny her.

“I don’t have much more to say honestly. We had a disagreement, one of which you can’t work through sometimes. It’s okay.” You gave a forced smile, and Charles was confident in that instant that there was more to it. This kind of painful conclusion, he knew them too well.

“Are you sure ? You seem upset.” You crossed your arms and he felt like he had maybe pushed too far.

“Yes. It’s been tough but I’ll get through it, and Alex will too. Maybe we’ll work it out, maybe we won’t, that’s our problem I’m afraid. Sorry you had to deal with the aftermath.”

You saw in his pinched lips, in the way his eyes scanned you, that he wanted to press further. But you wouldn’t be the truth bearer. You had done enough. Alex’s commitment to honesty would be his only way of finding out. And it seemed he realized it, because he nodded, and thanked you.

You thought you were done, but he shifted the conversation to lighter topics, your life in Monaco, how the workshop was going. He seemed really interested, and you realized you hadn’t made as much friends as you wished because of your closeness with Alex. So you gave in to the attention. And you realized you craved it, especially when it came from people who seemed a life away from you.

“What about you ? Out of state often, I understood ?”

“Why don’t you take a guess ?” He rested his face on his closed knuckles, and you closed the gap to him, faking analyzing his face. This made him chuckle, and his laugh tugged at your heart in ways you weren’t sure you liked.

“You don’t look like a business man.” He faked an offended face, then winked. Were all monegasques raised to be teases ? “Out often and comfortable with money ? We’re in a private booth where the staff seems to know you… I’d say an athlete maybe ?”

“Bingo !” He made his spoon ring on the rim of your cup, and sat back against his chair. There was a coolness in the way he moved and talked, something mesmerizing.

You thought he was collected. Truth is, thoughts raced through his brain at light speed and the more you talked, the less he listened. If there was something they had always agreed on was with Alexandra, it was that being in a relationship did not mean you found everyone but your partner disgusting suddenly. They were honest about their admiration for other’s looks and personalities, both convinced it was part of the human experience. And so he tried to persuade himself that this meeting was just that, another girl he just found pretty. And interesting. With a smooth voice. And nice fingers. Whose hair would probably look gorgeous laid out on his pillows. And fuck, he thought. That was not good. Not good at all.

Before he would start blushing again, mind filled with unholy pictures, he decided it was time to leave. You were a bit surprised at the abruptness of it, but agreed, you had things to do too. As you stood up, he looked a bit embarrassed.

“I know it might sound weird but… would you mind waiting a minute before leaving ? Giving me a head start.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and laughed. “Everything’s already paid for I’m not trying to scam you ! Just… I think it’s better for you if we don’t leave together.”

You furrowed your brows, not really understanding the request, but sat back down. You were too tired to fight about that.

“Thanks, you’re a dear. You have my number, let’s stay in touch !” And just like that, he was gone.

When you left the booth two minutes later, as requested, you heard a commotion right outside the restaurant. You quickly walked through the crowd gathering on the side of the terrace and started leaving when something caught your attention. A kid, screaming a name you had heard not so long ago.

You walked a bit further down the square and looked back to see Charles in the middle of the crowd, being photographed by paparazzis and families, signing autographs and struggling to get out. When he finally did manage, he entered a slick black car which looked like a million pounds, and left without even glancing back at the crowd.

“Charles… Monaco… Athlete…”You entered the words in Google, and found him immediately. A Formula 1 Driver. A fan favorite, it seemed. “Alex you bitch you could have warned me that he’s famous…”

Still, his request had got you out of a very sticky situation, and you were grateful you would not find yourself in newspapers tomorrow. So you switched to your text messages, and sent to Charles a thanks for the heads up.

Unknowingly to you, he sat in his parking lot for ten minutes before going back to his apartment, staring at his screen and blushing like a teenager.

Charles was tired. It had been more a week since his return, and Alexandra gave no signs of improvement, despite his tries. She would keep up the appearances in public, but made no effort at home, and avoided all friends or family gatherings he attended. And still, she would refuse to talk.

After he came back from having a drink with you, another one he did not tell Alexandra about, another one he had to sit out the excitement of in his car, another one that convinced him that you could be essential to making her feel better, because you made him feel good, he decided it was enough.

Alex was sitting on the couch, her plushie always glued to her, watching the cars go by. At least she had accepted to come back to his apartment. He brought her tea and took the plushie away from her, not without getting a whine in return.

“Alex, we need to talk.” She gave him her usual sad puppy eyes, but this time, Charles was decided to not let her manipulate him. “It’s gonna be okay, I’ll be here no matter what. But you have to tell me what happened. It can’t go on like that.” Finally she sighed and sat straighter on the couch, trading her sad eyes for the stone cold face she wore when he wasn’t around.

“Yeah you’re right.” She let out a shaky breath, betraying her anxiousness, then took Charles’ hands in hers. Finally, they would maybe be able to move on. Finally he might get back his lover. “I… I lied to you. About Y/N.” Obviously, thought Charles, and though he did not want to admit it, he had a small idea of why. She planted her eyes in his, and holding his hand tighter, finally said the truth out loud. “I never told Y/N about you. I never even told her I had a boyfriend. I should have been honest from the beginning, but it got confusing very quickly, and I didn’t want to ruin… I’d say our friendship but I know it was more than that.”

He knew it. It pained him to admit it, but he had had a feeling, and his instinct rarely lied. Now the only thing left was to find out how much had happened. Unable to speak up, he nodded to encourage her to keep going.

“I was scared of losing her and losing you. I told you about her because I thought if you two met, it would just be me and my two favorites people and everything would be great. I didn’t think further than that. But… but I knew she had feelings and I liked it, I liked having someone so… devoted to me.” That didn’t surprise him. Alex had always had a praise kink, worshipping her might be the fastest way to her heart. “And I guess I ended up falling for her too.”

As Alexandra’s voice became shakier, he knew he was touching the main subject. It was already a lot, he needed to process, but he needed the full picture for it.

“Mon coeur, I need you to be completely honest. Did something happen between you two ?” He saw her hesitating for a moment, before nodding, her gaze fixed on their hands still holding.

“Yes.” She admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “We kissed… I pulled away but I didn’t want to.”

Charles finally pulled his hands away from hers and got up. He felt hurt. Betrayed. Used. He had been kept in the dark both by his own girlfriend and you, truly the butt of the joke. Yet he felt empty of any anger. He looked at the little decorations in the living room. They would be so easy to smash. Probably satisfying. Yet when he brushed his fingers against it, he only managed to push them back in their exact place, all perfectly symmetrical. Strangely, it brought him more comfort than punching something.

“Are you not going to say anything ?” Her voice was still shaky, he could feel she tried very hard not to cry. And the only thing he wanted was for her to break down so he could hold her as close as possible and kiss her tears.

“What does this mean for us ?” He turned back to her, and she tried to hold his gaze.

“I don’t know… I’m in love with you. I know you probably want to tell me to fuck off but I need to say the truth. This has taken nothing from us, from what I feel for you. If anything, I’m finally feeling better now that you’re back. But I can’t deny that I had never thought about… about me, and another girl, like I did with her. I’ve never felt this way, it was like my heart was so full it could explode. I don’t know what I wanted from it Charlie, I… Nothing good could have happened, I fucked up, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you.” Finally, she lost it. Tears streaming down her face, she looked exhausted. “I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone. I can’t loose you I’ll do anything but I can’t live without you Charlie…”

Charles sat next to her and she threw herself in his arms, sobbing. He could not tell her. What would he even say ? “No worries baby, I can’t even manage to get angry at you for almost cheating because I think daily of fucking the friend you had a homoerotic codependent friendship with ?”. Or maybe “I wish I could focus on reassuring you that I’m still in love with you but telling you you’re pretty when you cry is not a compliment my mom taught me ?”. In the end, he opted for kissing the top of her head and softly stroking her back.

“Okay Alex okay… calm down… We’re gonna manage…” He gave her hand a squeeze, and drying some tears with a finger, kissed her cheek. “We’ll get through this together.”

Unfortunately for Charles, Alexandra’s moods swings came back full force, and soon enough she was back to shaking in his arms, this time from despair, hands clenched into fists on her knees.

“Why… why are you so calm about this ?” She demanded, voice trembling and brows furrowed. “I’ve just confessed to kissing someone and you act like it’s no big deal !”

Charles knew all of this, knew he should be angry, and he barely stopped himself from chuckling when he looked at the little statues he wanted to smash against the floor earlier. But he felt a strange sense of understanding and compassion which only made him calmer the more he let in his own fucked up thoughts.

“It’s not that I’m not upset, mon coeur.” Charles said softly, choosing his words carefully. “I just think maybe now’s not the right time to talk about this. You’re clearly exhausted and you’ve already been very honest with me. You need to rest. And I need to process some things.”

She agreed, her shaking slowing down once more, and he finally convinced her to have a shower and get to bed. She did so without arguing more, and Charles went on his balcony, completely worn out. When he opened his phone, he was greeted with a message that made his heart jump once more.

“Thx again for the evening, it was so fun ! Hope you got home safely, xoxo”

Looking at the light of his bedroom that just turned on, he chose not to answer. The rollercoaster had been enough for today, he needed a rest too.

Though he had struggled, Charles had managed to convince Alexandra he had no intent of breaking up with her, and even that going with him to the second to last race would do her good. The weather was still good in Qatar, she could see the girls, get spoiled and pampered. He knew it would take time to get her back, and maybe she would never be exactly the same. But he wouldn’t stop trying.

On your side, you had been forced to retreat to your bedroom with your computer as none of your roommates seemed to enjoy having the race on the living room main screen at 6 in the morning. You did not care much yourself, Charles had tried to explain some basic things to you before he left but none of it was familiar for someone like you who didn’t even have her driving licence. Still, supporting friends, right ? It felt weird to call him a friend. Just as it had felt weird for Alex. You groaned, thinking that each time, you had been the problem. Why couldn’t you be attracted to anyone else in the whole country ?

When your eyes laid back on the screen, you got reminded why. Because in his fireproof suit, sweating and winking at the camera, you had to scratch your brain with a knife to even think back of any men with as much charisma. Because his skin was soft and his hair smelt good, you knew it and you wouldn’t dare to say how. Because seeing behind him in the interview the girl you still were in love with did not diminish your attraction in the slightest. If anything, you almost threw your computer to the ground when the thought of what they looked like together kissing came to your mind.

When you came out of the bathroom, a few hours later, your phone was ringing. You answered with a smile to the man whose voice was filled with both exhaustion and excitement.

“Hey Charles ! Nice race out there !”

“Did you manage to follow everything ?”

“I did not remember shit of what you told me !” You laughed, and heard him do the same. “But you finished third ! That’s good in any sport, right ?”

“Yeah, good enough we’ll say, could have done better though.” You pictured him as he spoke, hands scratching the nape of his neck, a little smirk making his dimples appear. “Thank you for watching. I appreciate it.”

He sat on the side of his hotel bed, smiling like a child. He didn’t even know why he called you. He had plenty of people around to congratulate him. Yet it was always nice to know someone far thought of him.

“Charles…” Your voice was suddenly tinged with concern. You had seen the polite smiles and waves to the press. But you knew her, and you knew it had not gotten better. And you were done being the big girl, you needed to know. “Is Alex ok ? I’ve seen her on TV and she looks… well you know. Still not herself.”

He got back up and walked to the window, thinking of what to say. Though you had kept in touch since your first meeting, he hadn’t told you of Alex’s confession. Maybe it was time.

“Yeah… It’s been rough for her, hm… Y/N I’ve been made aware of some things and… now’s not the right time, but when we’re back in Monaco, with Alex, I think… I think we should have a talk, the three of us.”

Your heart jumped at the suggestion, guilt eating you out. So he knew. You looked at the stairs, echoes of your roommates’ laughter coming from downstairs. Yeah, you really needed some new friends, before you were about to loose another one.

“I- I’ll be there.” Charles thanked you and ended the call, promising to keep you updated. As he turned around, his own guilt trip was waiting for him in the form of Alexandra, who had just entered the room.

He braced himself for an argument. The new information of him talking to her… whatever you were for her, would surely trigger confusion, and anger. She would tell him that he was not better than her. She would probably put the blame on you. Would she try to hit him ? Mind drifting completely elsewhere, he thought it would be fun to see her try, before punching himself mentally to focus. But when she finally spoke, nothing could have prepared him.

“It’s not fair.” Her voice was breaking but she wasn’t crying, fists clenched. “It’s not fair that she’s not talking to me ! Why won’t she talk to me anymore !” She wasn’t upset because he had been talking to you. She was jealous your attention had been shifted to someone else. And as she paced around the room, Charles sat on the bed, thinking that the manic episode was about to start. “I miss her. I need her.” She came close to him and the way she held his shoulders and forced him to look her in the eye both scared and excited him. “And if my only way of getting her back is you, you best believe I’m taking my chances.”

As the day went on and Charles witnessed the evolution of his girlfriend’s almost-psychotic episode, he thought that maybe some of her ideas weren’t so bad. In the end, he wasn’t the only one who had been a little too obsessed with you recently. What if the way out of this for them, as a couple, was simply to give in ?

So he confessed to everything. Listened. Gave his opinion. Kissed every centimeter of skin he could and agreed with every idea she moaned out loud as she bounced up on him. And when she fell asleep in his arms, smiling, Charles thought that the price to pay for a ray of sunshine wasn’t so bad.

Something had changed. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what, but you felt as if you were nothing more than an antelope being hunted in one of those wildlife documentaries you used to watch as a child.

Why had you even dressed up ? The dress wasn’t comfortable and way too light for December, your hair was tied too tight, but at least the staff didn’t look down on you this time. When Charles said you looked gorgeous, you thought it was not so bad, and sat straighter.

It was your first time seeing the two of them together somewhere else than on pictures. They were dressed to the nines, and matching perfectly, from the black velvety outfits to the silver of their jewelry. It seemed Alex had finally managed to sleep, because she looked as good as the first day, as good as the hot summer nights, as good as the time you kissed her. Charles was keeping his hand on her thigh, and everytime he squeezed her, you felt like you were about to faint.

You tried to be cautious. Ordering alcohol to calm your nerves had probably not been the best idea, because at some point you weren’t able to remember if their voice had always been this sultry or if you were already tipsy.

They had apologized, both of them. Alex in great details, and this time you let her talk. To be honest, you were tired. It had been long enough. You missed your friend. When she said out loud every thought that ran through your head, your last arguments all flew away. Had the two of you not suffered enough ? Had Charles not been a great meeting ? There was so much more she wanted to share with you, and you only managed to whisper littles “yes”. She would be better, she said. She promised. The best of best friends.

And so when she touched your hand, you did not retreat. And when the both of them asked you what you thought, all red smiles and white canines, you barely managed to breath out.

“Yes, sure… let’s try being friends again.”

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

Taglist : @sam-is-lost // @mangotaitai // @ilovechickenwings // @eroselless // @zreads111 // @crimson-spine // @inejismywife // @champomiel // @seoulie101 // @charizznorizz // @exactlycoralfox // @waitwhendidwegethere // @cluelessred3

[milswrites]

Cupid’s Sword

~Azriel X Fem!Reader~

Summary: Azriel has a crush but finds himself unable to approach them. Unable to just stand by and watch their friend’s desperate pining, Nesta and Cassian take it upon themselves to play Cupid and try and set them up. Will their efforts lead to success or is Azriel destined to remain single forever?

Warnings: Mentions of drinking. Stabbing but the good kind?

Azriel was staring again. Staring at her. His golden eyes hadn’t moved from her soft form all night, locked in place as if he were stuck in a trance. Which he may has well have been, her hypnotising features melted their way into his mind and invaded his senses, clearing them all of anything but her.

He found himself drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her sweet voice carried from the bar where she was sat drinking with Nesta, causing his shadows to stir and attempt to crawl their way towards her in desperation for her presence. Her honeyed voice which delivered words like poetry, had always affected Azriel in ways he couldn’t explain. The velvet laugh that left her mouth as she spoke animatedly with her friend was as smooth as the whiskey Azriel was nursing.

He was hooked. Her presence a drug that Azriel hasn’t been able to get enough of since he had first laid eyes on her. Azriel hadn’t even been invited to Rita’s tonight. But when his shadows had reported to him that you had agreed to go tonight with Nesta, he knew there was no other place he wanted to be. Nesta’s permission be damned.

And so here he was, hiding in the shadows of a booth with Cassian, who was fearful of being caught by his mate on the one night where she was free of his company. Cassian had been unable to say no to his friend who had claimed he needed a drink or two after a hard days work, but now they were here Azriel could tell his brother was catching on to the real reason why he had wanted to come.

“Something caught your eye brother?” Cassian teased, bored of sitting and drinking in silence as Azriel’s attention was elsewhere, “or should I say someone?”

Azriel cursed under his breath. He would have been better off coming alone. If Cassian caught wind of his admiration for Nesta’s new friend he would never let Azriel live it down. Azriel could already imagine the relentless mocking that would ensue.

With great effort, he tore his eyes away from Y/N at the bar and settled them onto the overjoyed face of his brother manically grinning before him. “I don’t know what you mean” Azriel muttered, gaze moving to his half-empty drink to avoid his brother being able to read his lies. But of course once Cassian had started something he just couldn’t leave it alone.

“No?” Cassian mused, “the hole you’ve burned into Y/N’s head says differently. Unless of course it was my mate you’ve been staring at, in which case you’re more than welcome to come warm our bed tonight.”

The latter part of Cassian’s remark didn’t phase Azriel, he was used to the crude comments that spew from his friend’s mouth. He even sometimes heard them from Nesta. The first few words however caused Azriel’s heart to start beating faster and his palms grew clammy, skin clinging uncomfortably to the glass he was gripping for support. Defensively he said, “I wasn’t staring at Y/N.”

“Hm sure Az and I’m not the sexiest man - oh hey Y/N!”

Azriel’s head snapped to where Cassian had directed his voice, scared the woman had witnessed the conversation. She wasn’t stood there. Y/N was still happily sat at the bar with Nesta gossiping away with matching smiles on their faces. At his frantic reaction Cassian had broken out into a hearty laugh, his hand flying to his chest to brace himself as he did so. His booming chortle was enough to start drawing attention from the other customers who had found their way into Rita’s tonight.

“You’re whipped brother!” Cassian ginned merrily at Azriel who began to desperately shush his brother as his worried eyes briefly jumped to the bar, afraid the woman in question would be listening in.

“Yes! Ok! I like her!” Azriel hissed quietly between his teeth, hoping his admission would stop Cassian from teasing him for the whole club to hear.

“I knew it…I knew it” Cassian beamed in satisfaction as if he had just solved Azriel’s deepest secret. As if it wasn’t obvious enough from the way Azriel had been pining after Y/N from the shadows of their booth for the majority of the evening.

“Go over to her! I’m sure she’d say yes if you ask her in a date!” He urged Azriel, gesturing excitedly towards the bar as if playing wingman was his lifelong dream profession.

“And leave Nesta to discover we’re here ruining her girls night? She’s killed people for less” Azriel retorted in hopes that his brother wouldn’t make him go over to the bar and no doubt embarrass himself by being rejected in front of the mass of people in Rita’s tonight.

“Ah” Cassian dismissively waved his hand, “what Nesta doesn’t know won’t hurt her, I’ll hide in the toilet and you-”

Cassian was interrupted by the cold snap of his mates voice, “Nesta doesn’t know what dear?”

The two males gulped at Nesta’s sudden appearance, both having no intention of saying anything lest they anger Nesta even further. There was no doubt the terrifying woman would easily give them both a piece of her mind without them even needing to speak.

“Do you want to tell me, darling mate, why you’ve come to stalk me on my girls night?” She continued, her presence enough to leave both males breathless in fear.

“I wasn’t stalking you! I was watching Y/N!” Cassian blurted before he realised how his words had sounded and continued rambling before his mate could smite him, “not me! Him! Azriel made me come, he’s in love with her so I told him to go ask her out!”

“Cassian!” Azriel gasped with wide eyes, disbelief crossed his features as his brother betrayed his secret crush. Anxiously Azriel leant over to look past Nesta, trying to find the object of his affection and make sure she didn’t hear what Cassian had said.

Nesta’s face flashed with surprise at the information before her expression morphed into something more mischievously sinister as her eyes landed on the sputtering Azriel. “Don’t worry she didn’t hear. She’s gone home” Nesta reassured him.

But Azriel was feeling anything but reassured. The spark that had ignited in Nesta’s eyes caused him to feel unsettled and shrink back into his seat, wanting to escape the woman’s scheming gaze. Even Cassian seemed uneasy, shuffling where he was sat as he observed Nesta’s silent plotting, unsure of where this was going to go.

“It’s ok Azriel” she finally said in a sickly sweet voice as she placed a hand onto his shoulder, gripping it tight enough that Azriel knew he should definitely be scared, “we’ll get you that date.”

~~~~~

If Nesta could be described in a single word Azriel would say she was relentless. Ever since she had found out about Azriel’s not so little crush on Y/N at Rita’s over a week ago, she had been a force of nature.

He knew Nesta loved her friend dearly. Having nothing but good things to say about her since she had been introduced to Y/N by Madja. The elder woman had hired Y/N as an apprentice with the hope that she would be able to take over her healing duties when the time came for her retirement. Azriel had been curious about this woman that the usually reserved Nesta spoke so fondly of and so the next time Madja had brought her along after receiving the call that Cassian needed to be healed, Azriel had made sure he was there.

He was not disappointed. Y/N had been blessed by the cauldron in both looks and heart. Her presence on the day they had met being enough to stun him into a paralytic awe as he found himself unable to string even a few words together to speak to her.

Azriel was content to watch on in silent appreciation. Spending the days whenever she was at the House of Wind hovering close by, longing to hear a trace of her soft voice. If he was particularly lucky, he would on occasion receive an earth-shattering smile as she acknowledged him from a distance. But that was all it ever was, a distance.

Until Nesta had gotten involved and suddenly Y/N was everywhere. There was no room Azriel could enter that Y/N wasn’t in alongside a beaming Nesta. His inability to speak around her growing more and more frustrating as he had to grumble a shy hello before excusing himself, nerves too overwhelming for him to say anymore and his embarrassment at this stupor being too much for Azriel to want to stay in silence.

His reaction to her new overwhelming presence caused Nesta to grow frustrated. She had obviously been thinking that this would be an easy match and ignored Cassian’s warnings about how debilitating Azriel’s crush actually was. Nesta would have to try harder than just making sure Azriel could never escape Y/N’s presence. It’s a good thing she had a mate who was more than willing to help out his struggling friend.

Cassian was not a subtle man, he definitely wasn’t the type of person who did things in small measures. If Cassian was going to set his brother up he would do it his way, and hopefully not destroy any buildings in the process.

~~~~~

Azriel had grown used to Y/N being here. Which meant he had become very good at avoiding her whilst she was, his shadows reluctantly reporting to him not to leave his room whenever she was around.

Instead Azriel’s new favourite past time was wallowing in his own self pity as he laid face down on his bed in frustration at his situation. Which is where he was when Cassian had entered, neglecting to knock and alert him of his presence.

“Hey buddy,” his words interrupting Azriel’s sulking, “Can I have your help with something?” Azriel emitted a grunt of acknowledgment, not deigning to lift his head to look at his brother. “Great…cool” Cassian continued, “so I am superrr busy with work right now but I had promised Rhys I’d get some paperwork over to Madja. Think you can help me out?”

Deciding that doing Cassian’s chores would be a suitable distraction from his thoughts, Azriel raised his head slightly and grunted once more.

“Brilliant thanks Az!” He grinned, rubbing his hands together before turning to leave the room. Azriel sat up fully now in confusion, facing his retreating brother, “Cassian?”

The male jumped as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t and slowly turned back towards Azriel waiting to hear what his friend had to say. “The paperwork?” Azriel asked.

“Huh” sounded Cassian.

“The paperwork for Madja? Where is it?” Azriel watched as realisation crossed the generals features, mouth dropping open in a small o.

“Right… the paperwork. I’ll go get it!” Cassian said before running off, his footsteps pounding down the corridor as he ran to his room and back. Once he had returned, panting slightly at his hurried movement, he handed Azriel a sealed envelope, “here you go! And uh… don’t open that it’s highly confidential.”

Azriel enjoyed the flight over to Madja’s estate, the opportunity to spread his wings and allow the cool air to clear his head was refreshing. He landed smoothly and opened the door, ready to greet the elder woman he and the rest of the Inner Circle were so fond of. Yet Madja wasn’t there. Instead, Y/N was sat at Madja’s desk scribbling away at the papers laid before her.

At the sound of the door creaking open, her head raised, a bright smile adorning her face at the sight of the shadowsinger. “Azriel! Hi, what can I do for you?” Her honeyed voice made Azriel’s spine tingle and he found himself wishing for her to say his name again. Liking the way it sounded coming from her lips.

“Uh…where’s Madja?” He didn’t mean to sound as rude as he did when asking that question. However, the irregular pounding of his heart made his senses slip and his anxiety spike.

Y/N didn’t seem to mind, smile still on her face as she answered, “I’ve started taking over for her. When there’s not any serious injuries of course,” her smile then faltered a little, “but I thought you knew? You sent the flowers?”

A matching frown crossed Azriel’s features, “flowers? What flowers?” He asked as she directed his attention to the ridiculously large bouquet of flowers placed lovingly into a vase on the chest of drawers behind Azriel. He squinted his eyes, enabling him to read the note sticking out of them. The note which was written in Cassian’s untidy scrawl.

To Y/N

Congratulations on the promotion

With love, Azriel

He blanched, “Yes! The flowers of course. I ordered them so long ago that I forgot I’m sorry”

Y/N’s frown grew deeper at his excuse, “I only got the news yesterday?”

“Madja told me a week or two ago” he lied, desperate for the topic of this conversation to change before he dug himself a deeper hole. The lie seemed to do the job though as Y/N was obviously pleased with the thought of the older healer telling Azriel about it, telling him about her.

“Oh well, thank you! I love them” her blissful smile returned causing the butterflies already present in Azriel’s stomach to go wild. He wanted to tell her no problem, to ask her how her days going, to potentially ask her out on that date he was so badly craving. But Azriel’s tongue had grown heavy, glued to the roof of his mouth rendering him speechless.

Like a fool he stood there before her just staring. Admiring the way the golden glow of the sunlight shining through the window danced on her rosy cheeks. Taking note of the way her eyebrow slightly twitched as it did whenever she was confused. It was only when his shadows began to shift around him that Azriel allowed himself to return to the present only to realise just how long he had been in that trance and how uncomfortable he must have made Y/N.

Wanting to escape his anxiety, he began to sputter out a pitiful goodbye as he stumbled his way to the door. “Wait Azriel!” Y/N called out after him, “why is the letter empty?”

This was the second mistake Cassian had made. The first was not warning Azriel about the flowers. The second was handing him an empty envelope to give to Y/N with no explanation. What must she think of him? Turning up to her office with an empty letter and no idea about the flowers which appeared as though they were sent from him.

Neglecting to provide her with an answer, Azriel rushed from the building, wanting to avoid any accusations from her about him being a creep. He took off as fast as he could, leaving a confused Y/N behind in the empty office.

~~~~~

Azriel stormed through the house, wings flared and siphons glowing dangerously. He didn’t stop until he came face to face with a smirking Cassian who was loitering in the kitchen having waited for him brother’s return.

“Am I genius or what?” He chortled, arms outstretched as he waited for a hug he would never receive, “we better get you ready for that date!”

“There is no date” Azriel growled through gritted teeth, batting down Cassian’s arms as he watched the grin drop from his friends face at the statement.

“What? But I set everything up perfectly?” Cassian said in confusion, as if there was no possible way his perfect plan could have fallen through.

“Perfectly?” Azriel laughter bitterly, anger growing fiercely inside of him, “you made a fool out of me! She thanked me for the flowers to which I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about and then she opened the letter and found out it was empty! I looked like an idiot!”

Cassian sucked in air between his teeth awkwardly, “I guess I didn’t think that through…”

“No Cassian,” seethed Azriel, “you never think. And now you’ve ruined any chance I ever had of… you know what just forget it.” With that Azriel stalked off, needing to clear his head and mourn over the relationship he was never even able to start.

~~~~~

Cassian had begged his brother for forgiveness, unable to last another minute with Azriel’s sullen form sulking about the house ignoring him. Of course Azriel wasn’t actually mad at his brother, most of his bitterness was reserved for himself. He should have understood Cassian’s hints and help and followed along with it, then maybe things would have gone differently and maybe he would have gotten the girl.

Not wanting to admit his true feelings about it to his brother, Azriel said he’d forgive him but that Cassian should expect hell at during their next training session. Azriel had lots of frustration to expel.

Which is what led them to where they were now. Azriel beating down on his brother with all his might, the two locked in a deadly combat together. Cassian having to block powerful blow after powerful blow that his brother was delivering.

It wasn’t until Azriel struck hard enough to disarm him did Cassian then suggest the two took a break before he ended up being skewered. Nesta released a low whistle from where she had been watching as she moved towards the men in the ring, Azriel’s frustration at the pair of them was almost tangible.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side” she joked, slightly worried eyes absorbing the frazzled state Azriel had left her mate in.

“Yeah well whatever stops you two trying to play Cupid” he defended, reminding Cassian why he had fought so hard.

Nesta snorted, “Cupid? Have you seen Cas try to use a bow? I’d be better poking you to your senses with Ataraxia.” Nesta’s eyes lit up at her own joke. That same unstettling feeling that Azriel had fallen victim to in Rita’s had returned.

Nesta unsheathed her dagger, stalking towards Azriel who was backing off with his hands raised. “What’s going on Nesta?” Azriel anxiously said as his back met the edge of the ring, halting his retreat.

“It’s alright, relax Az! Things will work out ” Nesta smirked. And the next thing he knew, her dagger had been plunged into his upper arm as he screamed out in pain and gripped onto the handle of the blade which was sticking out of his bicep. Blood slowly trickling down his arm.

~~~~~

“Y/N thank the cauldron you’re here!” Nesta gasped in mock relief at the appearance of her friend.

The woman ran towards Azriel from where Cassian had landed with her in his arms, worry plastered on her face as it had been from the moment Cassian had frantically shown up at her door and said that Azriel been stabbed.

“Oh mother! What happened?” She cried, pulling out a towel before pressing it tightly to Azriel’s bleeding arm, knife still lodged in his muscle. Azriel opened his mouth to give her the honest answer but Nesta beat him to it, “Freak accident! Happened out of nowhere. Super unfortunate. We’ll leave you to it, come on Cas!” She dragged her mate away, the two whispering aggressively together as they left. Cassian had obviously not been privy to Nesta’s plan.

“Freak accident?” She said in disbelief, pulling the knife out before beginning to use her healing magic to stitch the wound together. “Cupids sword apparently” Azriel hummed quietly, the majority of his focus being on how attractive he found Y/N’s concentrated face as she worked. Her presence alone numbing the pain he was feeling.

“I thought Cupid used a bow and arrow?” She laughed in confusion, attention not straying from the intricate magic she was performing on Azriel.

“I don’t think Nesta has ever used a bow and arrow in her life” he huffed, face twitching in pain as Y/N’s healing powers created a small burning sensation on his arm.

“So Nesta’s Cupid?” She mused, small smile on her face as Azriel froze at the realisation of what he had said, likely due to the blood loss, “or is it Cassian? He did send the flowers instead of you right?”

Azriel’s eyes widened in Suprise, “you…you knew?”

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. He’s not exactly subtle. And neither is Nesta apparently” she said gesturing to the thin red line of raised skin that now marked his arm where the knife had been.

“Yeah” Azriel shyly laughed in anticipation of what was transpiring between them, a soft blush dusting over his cheeks, “guess they just really want me to be happy… in their own weirdly demented way.”

“I can’t think of anyone who deserves to be happier more than you do” Y/N stated, her finger absentmindedly brushing over his new scar sending shivers dancing down his spine again.

“Yeah” Azriel manages to squeeze out of his anxiously closing throat, her close proximity reawakening the butterflies that seemed to have permanently made their home in his stomach.

“So?” It was Y/N’s turn to urge Azriel to ask her the question, “are you going to let Nesta go through all the trouble of stabbing you just so you can let me walk away? I’ve been waiting a while you know”

This time Azriel was able to find his courage, “I really like you.” He finally confessed, wanting to get the truth out before his inability to speak around Y/N returned, “I find myself unable to keep control around you, I can’t pull myself together and I always end up acting like an idiot. Because I am crazy about you Y/N.”

“You’re a very cute idiot” she teased, finger now travelling from where it was brushing his arm to trail down his chest. Her words made Azriel flush, he attempted to answer but all that came out were small broken sounds of disbelief.

“Come on Azriel” she continued to tease. Y/N had complete control over this situation, over Azriel. His spirit drawn to hers as her lips moved closer to his, “use your words. Ask me.”

“Will you go on a date with me?” He managed to squeak out. Transfixed by the hold she had over him. Y/N breathed out an airy laugh before gripping onto his shirt and dragging Azriel into her before their lips collided.

Whilst Azriel may have had problems speaking with her, he definitely didn’t have any issues when it came to kissing her. Making sure to pour every ounce of longing and pining that he had been feeling since he first laid eyes on her into the kiss. Their lips moulded together as if they were made for each other. A perfect match.

“Yes” she confirmed pulling back from the kiss to catch her breath. Azriel shifted his eyes to the movement occurring from behind her shoulder, gaze finding its home on Cassian and Nesta who were excitedly jumping, holding their thumbs up to the male.

Azriel wrapped his unbloody arm around Y/N’s shoulders, a grin of appreciation on his face as he looked to his friends thankfully.

There were worse friends to have.

[izzystizzys]

“…I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I still don’t quite understand”, Fox says, for what must be the dozenth time that hour. His heartbeat pounds behind his eyes in an incessant drum of hurt, and his head aches with every breath like someone’s taken a rusty fork to the inside of his skull and raked his brain out. Fox’ eyes are beginning to burn the way they start doing around hour 80 of a shift, and he has to suppress the brief urge to check over his shoulder. Not even Stabby could come up with a ploy this contrived to make him sleep. Probably.

In front of him, General Grievous coughs awkwardly, long spindly durasteel limbs shivering with its force. “Certainly”, he vocalizes, in that deep, watery cadence. “For your glorious triumphs in battle, your awe-inspiring victory over me in close combat, and your undeniable warrior spirit, I accept you as my consort. I have proven my skills through the ritual capture, and thus, by Kaleesh custom, we are now wed, Commander Fox. I will honor you as my war-bride, and visit vengeance upon your enemies. I swear it to you.”

Expectantly, Grievous tilts his faceplate to the side, and Fox only just catches the suppression of the manic giggle that wants to escape him. Yeah, probably not Stabby - maybe a dying fever dream? Has the infected gash from that skirmish on the lower levels five rotations ago finally decided to end him? If so, it’s not fast enough for Fox’ tastes.

Here’s how it happened: Fox has no kriffing clue. All he knows is one moment an emergency alert tore him from precious Scream Closet time this morning, he went to rescue the Chancellor’s dumb ass again, and whoop, here he is on General Grievous’ ship with the war-criminal himself declaring them happily married. And eyeing him up and down like a piece of candy.

Why, Fox thinks, desperately, does this always have to happen to me?!

Chancellor’s still kidnapped, by the way. Fox has other priorities for the time being.

“I swear to aim my weapons in your service”, Grievous continues, when it becomes exceedingly clear Fox is not going to break out of his shocked stupor anytime soon. “I swear to aim true and strike with murderous intent, I swear to uphold the sacred bonds of our clans in the name of our union, I swear to raise a strong, bloodthirsty brood of warriors with-“

“Wait”, Fox interrupts, once his brain has caught up past the astromech dial-up sound it seems to be playing on repeat. “Uphold clan bonds? You murder your way through my brothers like a rabid nexu on spice on the regular!”

Grievous’ faceplate, which should be for all intents and purposes totally expressionless, does something that reminds Fox strangely of contrition. It has him gaping and shivering in discomfort, in any case. “A fact I regret, but acknowledge lies in my past before the fateful crossing of our paths. I am a warrior at soul, you must understand, my worthy mate.” Durasteel faceplates don’t turn soft. They don’t. And coughs don’t sound loving. They simply do not. “But I uphold the bonds of these sacred vows under Kaleesh law, that I swear to you, my beloved.”

“All I did was grapple you to the ground”, Fox says, mourningly. “Cody has kicked you in the head dozens of times and you’ve never tried to marry him.”

“He is not you, and his battle lacks the lustful vitality and love of violence of yours”, Grievous declares, and Fox really cannot tell whether the sound that erupts from him is a lovelorn sigh or a hacking death-gurgle. This cannot be his life.

Just then, a droid conveniently enters, putting a pause to all Fox’ sufferings. He’ll need to tell Thorn to research Kaleesh divorce proceedings. Or, better yet - he needs to blow up this whole karking ship including himself and destroy all evidence of this ever happening.

“Generals Kenobi and Skywalker awaiting in custody, Sir”, says the droid, nervously. “They are here to rescue Chancellor Palpatine, but we cut them off just out of the hangar bay.”

Internally, Fox rolls his eyes so hard it hurts his brain. “The Jedi can wait”, Grievous hacks out, and for once Fox agrees with him. Let the two dick around onboard, there’s bigger issues at hand.

“But Sir”, says the droid, all twitchy with an anxiety Fox eternally wonders who the kriff programmed into the damn things, “what if they try to escape and -“

A deep, growling noise erupts from deep within Grievous’ massive metal chest, amplifying Fox’ pounding headache by a thousandfold. “I have no time for this”, he snarls at the cowering droid. “Remove yourself from my and mine beloved’s sight.”

“Roger Roger”, the B2 squeaks, hesitantly, before adding on - “The Chancellor-“

Harrumphing petulantly, Grievous stomps one massive, clawed foot and makes what feels like the whole viewdeck shake. “I will twist his head off his body like a rotten fruit”, he declares. “That will get those pesky Jedi off my ship faster, and then we can continue saying our vows.” He pauses, thoughtfully, and then hooded eyes ringed by what must surely be rotten flesh fix on Fox inexorably. “It will be my wedding gift to you, beloved, an offering of peace to your brothers.”

Fox opens his mouth to protest, but quickly snaps it shut again when his husband already turns tail and storms off.

Huh. Maybe this marriage thing isn’t all bad.

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

Chan x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Suicide, Death, Grief, Slight Age Gap, Life after loss, Cursing, Angst, Blood, Brother's Friend, Manic Behavior, Depression, Panic Attacks.

Word Count:

If you or someone you know is suffering from suicidal ideation or thoughts of harming themselves, please reach out for help. You never know when someone's last day will be; no one ever does. But if you can help - even just a tiny bit, sometimes a word, text, or even a call can be a catalyst for positive change.

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pt1 Part Two

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You sat alone in your dimly lit room, the silence almost palpable. Your parents were away for the night. As they had been the last few nights.

You didn't blame them at all. It was hard being in, let alone living in a house that carried so much weight now. It was only a matter of time before your parents would move away. Taking you along with them, as you were still young. Just barely 21 yourself.

The only light came from the desk lamp, casting a soft glow over the envelope in your hands. It was marked with the words "Read when you're lonely," and the familiarity of your brother's handwriting stirred up a mix of emotions. You carefully peeled open the envelope, feeling the weight of the moment.

This was the first letter you were opening. It only seemed right, since you were feeling lonely.

Extremely.

As you unfolded the letter, a rush of memories flooded your mind—the way Hajun used to write letters when he had first left home, the warmth you felt when opening them, and the excitement of the thought of another one coming soon. The endless support he gave you in those letters.

A testament to the strength your relationship. You took a deep breath, your eyes scanning the neatly written words on the page:

I'm sorry I’m no longer there to give you a hug when you need one or to share in the laughter and tears of everyday life. I wish more than anything to be there with you, to tell you that everything will be alright and to remind you that you’re never truly alone.

I know this time is incredibly hard, and I can only imagine the weight you’re carrying. It was selfish of me to inflict this on you, but I hope you understand. You've always been understanding. And I hope you can be understanding now.

But I need you to remember that even though I’m not physically with you, you still have remnants of me everywhere. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or lonely, reach out to those who care about you, even if it’s difficult. I hope they can help begin to fill that void.

There’s someone I want you to contact if you ever find yourself feeling lost or isolated. His name is Christopher. He’s one of my closest friends, and he knows what it means to be there for someone who’s hurting. It's been a while since I've talked to him, but I trust him completely, and I believe he’ll offer you the support you need.

If anything, he'll do it out of pity. But he'll be a person in times of loneliness that you can look too.

Sometimes, a change in environment can help bring a fresh perspective and new beginnings. Knowing you, you'll want a change of pace. Something to get away from me. Consider moving to Korea. It’s a big step, but it could be an opportunity for you to heal and find new joys. And there are people there that I believe can help you begin to heal. I know it’s not an easy decision, but I want you to be open to the possibility of finding happiness, even if it means making a major change.

I hope these words bring you some comfort and help you find the strength to face each day. Know that my love is always with you, even if I’m not, Gremlin.

Hajun

You sat there for a moment, letting your eyes burn slightly. You looked at you clock and saw the time.

3:07 a.m.

You wondered if Chris was busy at the moment. You found yourself opening up Instagram.

You hadn't opened it up since Hajun left.

Left. It was easier to think of it like that.

You didn't want to scroll through the countless amount of edits you knew had been made. Juju had always been the favorite of the group. Rightly so, because even though you were prejudiced it was easy to see just how amazing your brother was. And it made sense that others would see that as well.

You didn't watch through any of the edits fully. But it was the first thing that popped up on your screen. With some corny ass pop song playing in the background that made you grit your teeth.

They acted as if they knew him.

We'll miss our Junebug.

You swallowed the bike that had risen in your throat.

Our?

They didn't know him. They couldn't have been going through the pain you were going through.

The anger you felt made you want to become a key board warrior. To respond to every comment and call them out on the utter bullshit.

The comments saying that "no one understands how hurt I was when I found out" or "it hurts as his number one fan" or "no one knows pain like this".

The comments with immense parasocial vibes made you sick to your stomach, and you clutched your phone as you scrolled through countless girls and guys who commented on how heartbroken they were of their husband being gone.

You had gone through that phase, it was normal even, something common in the fandoms. But at times like this it left a sour taste in your mouth. And you couldn't sit one moment to and try to empathize with them; even if you knew that sometimes people you looked up to, admired even- felt closer than those you could reach out and touch; those whose embraces were tangible.

You felt like reporting each and everyone, screaming at them.

They never knew him.

At least not like you did, not like your mom did. Your dad. His friends.

And to those who had "stumbled" across your account after doing enough research on your brother it was nearly a full on doxxing; and then spread your information- had sent you a plethora of messages that you didn't open up. You'd let them sit in your requests until the day that you went to meet your brother once more.

You went to the search bar and typed in the reason you had come to the social site to begin with.

Christopher Bang

You clicked on a page that had the blue verification.

@gnabnahc.

You scrolled through a few of his posts, not realizing a smallest smile had molded to your face.

His way of posting was similar to your brother's. Very boyfriend coded. Something you had always teased him about in the comments of your "fan" account.

"Y/N you know you're atrocious for leaving that comment." "219k people liked so I think you're wrong." "Yeah, cause they thought it was funny that you tagged Mom and Dad." "What else was I supposed to do? Allow my brother to solicit such images? I'm tired of hearing people simp over you. You're not even that great-"

Except he really was.

Your thumb stilled over a clear image of him, his birthday post froma a few days before you first called him.

26.

Your breath caught slightly as you stared at the unfamiliar face on your screen. You had never met him - his name now only being mentioned in the wake of your brother’s death, a friend of Hajun’s you had never gotten around to knowing in his life. Yet here you were, unable to tear your eyes away from his smile.

It was strange, the way his smile seemed to reach out to you, even though he was a stranger. His lips were curved in a way that felt so effortless, as if joy came naturally to him, even in a world that had assumingly taken from him. As it tended to do for everyone.

The crinkles at the corners of his eyes hinted at a warmth that felt oddly familiar, and foreign simultaneously. You didn’t know him: you had no reason to feel anything for him- especially in the mental state you were currently residing in -but there was something about that smile that tugged at something deep inside you - a place you had been trying to keep sealed off since Hajun died.

You frowned, your thumb hovering once more as if you might scroll away, but you didn’t. Instead, you found yourself studying the details - the way his dimples deepened when he smiled, the slight tilt of his head as if he was caught in the middle of laughing at something. A laugh you could almost hear clearly. Light, and airy, carrying the essence of an eternal giggle rather than a deep bellowing guffaw.

His smile reminded you of the way Juju smiled.

Except the difference between Hajun's smile and Chris's was that the warmth in Chris's smile didn’t just comfort you, or make you feel as if you were seen- it sparked something restless and new, like the first hint of spring after a long winter, coaxing your frozen heart to thaw slightly, even when you were sure you weren't ready to feel the warmth of the sun again.

You didn’t want to feel this a draw to someone you’d never met personally, especially not now, when grief still clung to you like a second skin. But the longer you looked, the harder it was to deny the pull. It wasn’t attraction, not exactly - it was more like an inexplicable need to hold onto something, anything, that didn’t hurt.

And somehow, without knowing how or why, Chritopher's smile had become that something.

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"Hyung! Your phone is ringing!" Jeongin's voice rang across the home to the eldest member, as he stuffed chips into his mouth while lounging on his bed.

"Innie-ah, I thought I told you to stop eating on my bed. You always leave crumbs." As he walked over to his dresser where his phone laid, Jeongin made a theatrical crunch as if proving a point to his leader.

"Ah! You're calling me messy! Our dorm is the cleanest how could you say that?" He mumbled, rolling over and opening up his secret account to scroll through edits.

Chris sighed and grabbed his phone, the call missed. When he tapped the screen, your name had popped up and immediately his heart flew to his throat.

He called you back immediately, waiting impatiently for you to pick up.

"Hello? Sorry did I wake you?"

"Ah, ah, no I promise you didn't wake me. It's only early evening over here- but wouldn't that mean it is early morning for you?

"I couldn't sleep. I'm home alone and even though I want to be alone...together. I don't want to be alone...alone."

Chris nodded. "I'm sorry Y/N, I'm sure that's really hard." Jeongin's ears perked up, his body flying into a seated position as he crawled closer to his Hyung who was now seated on the edge of the mattress. "But I'm here for you, you know?"

Jeongin tried his best to listen in, even trying to disguise his nosiness as seeking for affection, but Chris shook his head and pushed him off lightly with a light noogie to his head. Jeongin pouted and opened up a pack of gummy worms, chewing slower and more deliberately to try and listen in.

"Korea?" Chan asked, his voice raising slightly in surprise. "I mean that's a huge step but..." He nodded and Jeongin sighed, throwing himself back on the bed.

"I'm sure it will be hard. But you'll have support here. But with all the visas and stuff you'll have to have a valid reason to move...yeah...hm...I mean it could take a little bit unless you found a job...yeah..." He absentmindedly drew little doodles on his knee.

Jeongin's eyebrows scrunched. Who was the girl his leader was speaking so softly to? He could hear the slightest sound of your voice and Jeongin hmphed as he moved around again. Was his hyung dating someone?

The conversation you had with Chris went on for a while, until you decided that maybe it was time you at least try to rest your eyes.

"Good. You need to get sleep. We can talk about this when you have a clearer mind. Sleep well, Y/N."

"Goodnight." You said, hanging up. You put your phone on your desk and trekked towards your bed but looked at the small notebook that laid on it. Just one of many notebooks left.

There were hundreds and hundreds of lyrics Hajun had scribbled onto the cream-colored paper. You were grateful your parents had taken the time to raise you as a polyglot rather than just Hajun.

You seamlessly switched from English to Korean to Japanese and the occasional surprise inducing Spanish lyrics Hajun had written.

Language had always been an interest to you.

The minute Hajun had shown interest in becoming an entertainer by the age of seven, your parents had enrolled him in all types of music and dance related extracurriculars, and made you tag along as well in hopes that maybe you too would want to become a part of the entertainment industry, but rather than that you had fallen in love with tagging along to Hajun's language classes.

You credited your parents to the Korean and English knowledge you had, your mom and dad speaking the two languages throughout your childhood after reading somewhere that it was easier for children to learn languages due to brain plasticity. And due to the glories of the education system, you had taken Spanish throughout your high school years and taken quite a liking to the widely spoken language, even if you only knew it intermediately.

Hajun had been the one to teach you Japanese alongside one of his band members who was a native speaker. It was an excuse for you to chat with him regularly, and you missed that excuse when you had become a better speaker than your brother himself.

You flipped through his lyrics and wished you could have heard his voice sing these words or rap them. Or have these words overlay on a soothing melody.

Your fingers glided over imaginary piano keys, and you hummed softly. Not that you knew how to play the piano; you just enjoyed clashing a few keys together in a discordant way ever so often. But you had always been a choir kid, thanks to your parents pressuring their expectations on you. Hoping that one day you might choose to be on the same path as Hajun.

How sick and twisted may irony be.

The pages in front of you felt heavy with the weight of his unspoken words, dreams that were cut short too soon. You could almost hear his voice in your mind, the cadence of his lyrics dancing between panning between your ears. But it was just that - almost. The more you read, the more you were consumed by the silence, a silence and emptiness that gnawed at you.

A sudden pang of grief shot through your chest, sharp and undeniable. How could this be all that was left of him? Words on a page, a life that had been poured into lyrics, melodies, and dreams that would never be fulfilled. As if everything he did was for nothing? The thought twisted inside you, tightening your throat, suffocating in its cruelty.

But then, something else began to simmer beneath the surface of your grief - something that made your breath catch, and not in a way you were prepared for. You shook your head, trying to dismiss it, to focus on the memories, on the reality that becoming an idol was what drove him to his demise. How could you even think -no, it was irrational, absurd even.

Yet the thought was persistent, sneaking into the corners of your mind when you least expected it. What if you…what if you became the voice that could bring his words to life? What if you took the path he couldn’t complete, not to replace him but to…honor him? Was that it? Or was it something more?

You remembered Chris’s words from before, the casual mention of visas and logistics if you ever moved to Korea. It was a passing comment, a practical consideration that seemed so far-fetched- and now...now it was like a splinter under your skin.

The idea lingered, manic and wild. It felt almost like a betrayal to consider it, as if you were trying to follow in the footsteps that had led him to the edge of a cliff. But at the same time, there was a strange, allure to the consideration; one that made you wonder if you could find him again, not in the grave where he rested, but in the songs that never got to be sung.

The conflict in your mind was almost unbearable, a cacophony of fear, grief, and a desperate yearning for something you couldn’t quite define.

Was it closure? Was it madness? Or was it simply a need to feel closer to him, to understand why the path he chose became too much to bear?

You wanted to dismiss it as a fleeting thought, a product of your grief-stricken mind, but the more you tried to push it away, the more it burrowed itself into your consciousness. Becoming an idol -how crazy was that? It was the very thing that had taken him from you. And yet, the more you thought about it, the more it made a twisted kind of sense.

You weren’t like him, and maybe that’s why you could do it. Maybe, where he fell, you could stand. Maybe you could be strong enough to carry his dreams forward, to finish the songs he started. Or maybe it was just the grief talking, leading you down a path that made no sense, but felt like the only way to hold onto him, to not let him disappear completely.

The snap, when it came, was not sudden but gradual, like a rope fraying one fiber at a time until it finally broke. It wasn’t rational, it wasn’t even something you could explain, but the thought was there now, alive and insistent. You couldn’t tell if it was the worst idea you’d ever had or the only one that made sense in the wake of his absence.

The idea of giving life to Hajun’s lyrics -of turning his words into a melody that could fill the silence he left behind- was the only thing that seemed to soothe the ache in your heart. Even just imagining his songs being sung was like a balm, easing the pain with every note that played in your mind.

Becoming an idol…The very notion was wild, crazy, even, but in the midst of your grief, it felt like the only way to hear his voice again. To be with him. To find a way back to him, to find a way forward that wasn’t just drowning in the hundred of emotions he left behind.

You could feel it building, an irrational yet unstoppable force, a need that defied logic. It wasn’t about fame, or fortune, or even following in his footsteps. It was about something deeper, something primal. It was about reclaiming a part of him, of yourself, that felt lost in the shadows of his death.

The idea grew roots, tangled and dark, winding through your thoughts until it was impossible to separate it from your grief. You imagined yourself on stage, under the harsh lights, the crowd’s roar in your ears- was it your voice they wanted to hear, or his? The lines blurred, your identity slipping between the cracks as the thought took hold.

You had the voice. You had the potential to learn to dance. Your image would almost be a given - the amount of attention a company would get for signing on the younger sister of an incredibly loved and deceased idol would have media swarming and an immense amount of free promotion. It would be a conglomerates dream. But could you do it?

Could you really step into that world, knowing what it did to him?

The grief whispered that maybe you had no choice. Maybe this was your path now, carved out by the loss that had ripped your life apart. Maybe by becoming an idol, you could bring him back in some way, keep his memory alive.

It was reckless, it was irrational, it was everything you had never been. And yet…it was the only thing that made sense.

You could almost hear him scoffing at you from above, calling you out for your foolishness, and that made you smile- just a little. If he were here, he’d tell you how ridiculous you were being, probably flick your forehead scolding you about how this was the last thing you should do. But he wasn’t here. And that was the point, wasn’t it? To be where he couldn’t be, to say what he couldn’t say, to live the life he never got to finish.

The snap was complete now, your mind fracturing into a thousand pieces, each one demanding something different. Rationality warred with logic with desperation, but in the end, only one voice remained. The one that told you to go, to become, to do the very thing that had destroyed him.

Because maybe, just maybe, in that destruction, you could find the pieces of him that were still left. Maybe those pieces could fill what he had carved out from you.

And maybe - just maybe - in the echoes of your own voice, you could finally find peace.

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If you or someone you know is suffering from suicidal ideation or thoughts of harming themselves, please reach out for help. You never know when someone's last day will be; no one ever does. But if you can help - even just a tiny bit, sometimes a word, text, or even a call can be a catalyst for positive change.

988 - USA Suicide Prevention Hotline | 24 Hours 111 - Helpline UK | 24 hours 1393 - Suicide Hotline Korea | 24 hours

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@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

@0325tiny @resi4skz @soaplickerrr

@leezanetheofficial @stressymessyana @istglevi-gotmesimping

@hannamoon143 @kayleefriedchicken

[mykoreanlove]

Channie 🥺

Sleeping with your boyfriend was one of the hardest things to do. Why?

Because that manic workaholic rarely ever slept. And if he found himself in the comfort of his big comfortable bed with you in it, sleep was off the table.

Your relationship was still fresh, the lingering hormones all in the air.

But sometimes when the exhaustion of everyday life took over, you found yourself embraced in his strong arms, peacefully dozing off to sleep.

„Channie?“, you whispered quietly.

No reaction. You felt his broad chest behind you heaving up and down, accompanied by small snores.

„Channie?“, you asked again while wiggling your butt softly.

He let out some unrecognisable sounds and kept on sleeping.

You smiled warmly to yourself, feeling utterly protected and loved. It hasn’t always been like this, you always had wondered if a love like this would ever be possible after all.

Chan didn’t know that about you - yet.

„Channie“, you softly whispered, still engulfed in his embrace.

„I haven’t told you this before and the only reason I’m telling you now is because you’re asleep. Maybe you’ll hear me in your dreams, I don’t know but… I wanted to tell you that I have never seen this coming.“

You paused for a second, checking if he was still asleep. Only silence and Chan‘s heavy breathing filled the room.

„I am not as experienced with relationships as you are. In fact, I only was in one. And ever since all I knew was rejection. So naturally, I didn’t think you and I would work out.“

Flashbacks of all the past heartbreaks you had to endure flooded your mind and clouded your soul in sadness. At one point you gave up on men, up on love entirely. You remembered the first dates with Chan and how nerve-wrecking they were. Would he leave you? Would he break it off? Would he ghost you and vanish like the others? How much time did you still have left?

You didn’t notice him wake up as you were too engulfed in your memories, recollecting them all.

„Dating seems so easy for you but it’s not to me. I get insecure so easily. I always went crazy when you didn’t reply fast enough or sounded dry. I know that’s so stupid but that’s how I was..“, you chuckled ashamed.

Chan didn’t dare moving, he needed you to think he was still sound asleep.

„And I was terrified of opening up to you and letting you in. I was so terrified you’d break my heart like all the others. And I tried guarding my heart..“

Now Chan was the one having flashbacks, remembering all the times you acted out of line, making him wonder if you liked him at all. Up to now he didn’t understand why you acted that way.

„But I couldn’t. Something about you just made me jump into this. And this thing between us, the past months I mean. To others that doesn’t seem like a big deal but to me it does… you didn’t leave me.“

A heavy silence was hanging in the air, perfectly accentuating the boldness of your words.

„You didn’t ghost me. Or exchanged me for someone else. You stayed. You actually stayed.“

You whispered the last part, barely audible.

Chan‘s lips, delicately placed on the soft skin on your neck, startled you.

„I’m planning to stay forever, babygirl.“

Your cheeks turned red as embarrassment flooded your whole system.

„Oh my god, you heard all of that?“, you whined.

„Only the last part, baby.“

„I feel so embarrassed..“, you blurted out.

„I know“, Chan stated as he pulled you closer, tightening his grip on you.

„But that doesn’t change a single thing. I want you y/n. And I am here to stay. Forever. Get used to that, okay?“

You relaxed back into his warm embrace.

„Okay.“

[dearsnow]

MANIC MOVES & DROWSY DREAMS (3)

- after discovering something that forces all of your relationship’s problems to the surface, you seek solace in your only potential friend in san diego. (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader, hurt with future comfort, part of the series “out of touch” ⚠️ ADULT TOPICS, please be 18+ to read)

OUT OF TOUCH: It’s been twenty years since you last saw Bradley Bradshaw, and, suddenly, you realize he’s finally grown up.

word count: 3,110

a/n - this chapter is lowkey crazy 😭 i hope y’all enjoy because i’ve had a blast writing this. the next chapter might take a bit to write up because i need to plan out the rest of the series, but it hopefully shouldn’t take tooo long!!

The next few days were relatively uneventful as you attempted to get your life in perfect working order. There were a few visits from the navy men, with Fanboy (who you learned was actually named Mickey) being one of your best customers until he witnessed firsthand your boyfriend giving you flowers and a peck on the cheek. He seemed a bit crestfallen after that, but you knew he would perk up eventually. He hadn’t gone through it for nothing, though- you always slipped him an extra cookie sample when he came by.

The best part of your life was not interviewing potential employees or ordering more vintage tables, but instead, it was Derick. He was truly your rock in the midst of a change that otherwise would’ve thrown you into chaos.

He handled your calls, he mopped the floors and shined the counter, and he took you on amazing dates. You can firmly say that you’ve never had a boyfriend as respectful and supportive as him.

Too respectful, however, is an ever-present problem.

You’ve been with him for almost fifteen years and you can reasonably count the times he’s been anything other than a perfect family-friendly gentleman. If you look back on it, it was probably around fifty-two instances.

That seems like a lot, but spread out over fifteen years of young adult antics, it’s almost like he didn’t want to be intimate. He didn’t want to make out, or put a hand just a bit too low on your waist, or do anything passionate or fiery or heated. He just wanted dinner dates, a kiss on the cheek, and a hand to hold. You were fine with that, because in essence, that’s what you needed at the time, right? Stability. Comfort. Romance. Someone to wipe away your insecurities and hold you down at ground level.

A lingering thought, always bouncing around in the back of your mind, whispers that it shouldn’t take hours of tempting and teasing for a guy to want you.

You ignore all of that for right now. Derick is currently sitting across the table from you at the fanciest restaurant in the area.

Fancy places always make you a little nervous. You’re afraid to say the wrong thing or mispronounce a word on the menu, and your dresses get rumpled as you fidget with them. Even your nail polish doesn’t survive as you pick at the edges with your thumb. Derick smiles.

“What are you thinking about ordering?” He asks, setting his own menu down. You cease your picking and clear your throat. He looks especially nice tonight, with his dark hair gelled back and his black suit nice and crisp. It doesn’t quite fit with your dress, though you suppose it doesn’t need to.

“Uh, the caprese salad sounds good.” It’s the cheapest thing on the menu. He always pays, but you know that he gets a bit bothered when the bill racks up too high. You’ve offered to pay for yourself numerous times, but he waves the suggestion away, even when his face makes it known that he doesn’t want to.

“I make more money than you, babe, just let me take care of it.”

You try to smile sweetly, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. If he can tell, he doesn’t show it.

“Sounds good. I’m having the truffle alfredo myself.” He flags down a waiter, and you shrink a bit in your seat.

You can tell that this night is going to be another awkward one. After being with someone for so long, you come to expect certain things. Despite that, you wouldn’t trade this stability for anything. He makes good money, he buys you gifts, and once or twice a year, he’ll even sleep with you. What more could a girl want?

Bradley hasn’t had stability in a long time. He has a home in San Diego, sure, but going out for drinks every once and a while with people who have vastly different schedules isn’t really enough to make him want to stay. In truth, he almost misses being deployed because, at least then, he has a purpose.

When he saw you, he thought he might have an opportunity to right a wrong that has been tearing him up inside. He despises what he was like as a teenager, taking nothing seriously except his dreams to be a naval aviator. He’s learned throughout his life that everything matters, especially the feelings of other people, and even the small, mundane things he couldn’t care less about. The small, mundane things are what keep the world working.

He’s sitting on his couch, enjoying a small, mundane thing (a shitty reality show with acting so bad it makes him laugh) when an unknown number lights up his phone. He perks up, staring at the number as the reality show carries on. It’s probably just a spam number, but on the off chance it’s you, he picks up.

“Hello?” He hates how shaky his voice sounds. Just the idea of you sets his nerves on fire.

“I need a friend,” your soft voice mumbles. “Where can we meet? A place that serves strong alcohol would be preferable.”

Right after your early dinner date with Derick, you walked into your shared apartment, boxes lining every walkway. You really ought to have put everything away more quickly, but after a long day’s work, all you and your boyfriend could seem to do was pull out a few objects and give them a place in your new living quarters.

He immediately went to take a shower, as he usually did after a long day, and placed his locked phone on your nightstand. You collapsed onto your bed and looked up at the ceiling, still dressed, and began to dread opening shop in the morning. You love the cafe, but your lack of employees hits harder every day.

Derick had been handling most of the hiring process, with the good majority of the interviewees being his connections. It was helpful having a business major boyfriend, as his college networking and current accountant networking proved extremely useful for managing an actual business. He was always so enthusiastic about helping you run the place. You seriously don’t know what you would do without him.

His phone lit up next to you with a series of texts. You lazily let your gaze drift over to see what was going on. He wouldn’t mind if you checked who was texting, right? When you picked up his phone, the name that popped up was “employee candidate 4”. You smiled to yourself; Derick was so responsible, you thought. He must have given the candidates his number to see if they needed anything.

You unlocked his phone with your thumbprint, which you so sneakily added to his password bank a few months ago when you first started collaborating on the cafe’s business plan. What you saw made your heart drop down to the floor, splintering into a million little pieces that got stuck in your fresh linoleum.

Bradley hands you another drink, a strong one at that, and you gulp half of it down in one breath. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

You look up at him through your eyelashes, makeup half-rubbed off from tears and friction. The sun began to set when you first entered, and in the dimming light, Bradley could tell that you were rattled. You still are, evidently. He waits for a moment before you clear your throat and offer a few gut-punching words.

“I checked my boyfriend’s phone.” He can tell where this is going. He doesn’t want it to be true, because who in their right mind would cheat on you?

“What was on it?” He prompts gently. You take another breath. You don’t want to dump this all on someone that you barely know, with the only history you have being a failed almost-relationship when you were teenagers, but you don’t have anyone else. When you moved to San Diego, you left everything behind, including your friends and family. You haven’t even talked to your friends in ages, as you’ve been so busy with the cafe and Derick that you couldn’t so much as call them. The idea of having Bradley nurse your broken heart is both gut-wrenching and just a little bit like a dream.

“A lot. I… I don’t want to ruin your night by bothering you. I should go.” You try to stand up from your bar stool, but he catches your wrist in his warm hands.

He shakes his head, eyebrows creased. “Just tell me. I’m here for you; I meant what I said in the cafe.” You nod, fresh tears welling up in your eyes as you sit down.

“I’ll get a few drinks in me first.”

You keep your word, managing to take down a sizable amount of alcohol within a few minutes. It’s not enough to get you passing out or throwing up, but enough to loosen your lips.

“Do you want to know what I saw?” Your face is warm, either from the alcohol or Bradley’s hand on your back. “Twenty-eight photos of his dick. It isn’t even good enough to warrant one photo, Bradley, one! None of them were sent to me, of course. Just the girls he would chat up online and fuck.” The words tumble out of your mouth, every pent-up frustration making its way into the light of the bar. “I looked through his search history, too, and then our finances, because I was suspicious of everything at that point. I found four subscriptions to porn sites in our bills and three more for online dating premium memberships. Who the fuck even needs a premium membership? God. I hate him.”

“Slow down, princess.” He says. His lips are quirked into a small smile as you ramble on and on about every small thing Derick has ever done to piss you off. “He seems like a real piece of work.”

“He is! He so is. I never get to order what I want, he always makes me feel responsible for his mistakes, and not once has he made me finish. I mean, we’ve had sex maybe twice in the last two years because he can’t get it up. Probably because he’s been sticking his dick in STD central.” Those last few items slip through your internal filter, but even in your state, you recognize that you probably shouldn’t be talking about your sex life with a guy you re-met a few days ago. “Sorry. That was personal.”

Bradley lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “Nothin’ I can’t handle. I can’t believe you stayed with him that long when he can’t do a single thing for you. If you were my girl, you wouldn’t know a day without pleasure.” It’s his turn to be embarrassed about what he said, but as his cheeks turn red, you don’t even seem to notice.

If you were his girl, he thinks, he’d treat you so well. He’d actually get you your favorite flowers instead of the ones he thinks would look nice in the aesthetic of your apartment, and he’d cook for you, and he’d never make you feel bad for loving him.

“Exactly.” You say. “He just wanted someone to come home to without even thinking about how I would feel. I wanted stability, and he gave me that, but nothing else.” You suddenly sound sober, but the tears are back, and they’re stronger than ever. “I loved him.” You choke out. “I don’t think I could ever get something better, not after so long.”

Bradley feels bad for even considering picking you up after this. You’re distraught, more than he’s ever seen anyone before. It’s clear that this is something you’re going to take a while to heal from. “You can and you will. He’s a dick, and I’m sorry you wasted so much time on him, but you will find some kind of relationship that deserves you. You can have a fresh start, and he’ll just be another asshole that you put in your past.”

You nod, taking in his words as you sip your soda. Bradley cut you off a while ago, which you’re eternally grateful for. If you had one more sip of alcohol, you think you'd either be dancing on a table or crying on the floor. Now, at least you’re crying upright in a stool, with the man across from you handing you tissues once in a while. The lady running the bar seems to know him, and she also seems to know that an endless supply of tissues is necessary for you tonight.

The doors of the bar open, and though you don’t want to peel yourself away from the sight of someone caring about you, you turn around anyway. When you do, your blood runs cold.

Bradley sees you stiffen and follows your line of sight to the person that just walked in. He’s handsome, in a way, with short, dark brown hair and a five-o-clock shadow. He seems like the stuck-up type. Your eyes are blown wide at the sight as the man walks over, a sort of fake concern lacing his expression.

“Baby-“

“Don’t fucking call me that, Derick. How did you even find me?” Oh. The soon-to-be ex. Bradley sits up on his stool, pulling himself to a position where he can easily stand if the moment calls for it.

Derick pulls out his phone sheepishly. “You left your location on.”

Goddamnit. Fuck.

“Get out. I don’t want to see you right now.” You’re seething, the anger coming off you in waves. You think that if you weren’t angry, you’d be sad, and you can’t handle that right now. The devastation of finding out your boyfriend is a freak and a cheater is something you just opened the box to, and you don’t feel like unpacking it in front of him.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He protests. “They didn’t mean anything to me. I love you, and I want to marry you, and I’ll never do it again. I- I have the ring right here, see?” He pulls out a familiar velvet-lined box, and you scoff.

“You should’ve thought about that before you cheated. Multiple times.”

Bradley stands up, placing a soothing hand between your shoulder blades. “Leave, man. She’s made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want you here.”

Derick bristles, his pasty face tinged red with anger. Bradley almost rolls his eyes at how small he looks. “You don’t need to stick up for her.” He takes a step forward. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were fucking her behind my back. That’s what this is, isn’t it? An excuse for you to leave me because some navy fucker had some nice enough sex with you?” He’s approaching fast. By the time he finishes his sentence, Derick’s fist is wrapped around your wrist tightly.

You let out a soft sound as his bruising fingers close around you, but as soon as he’s there, Bradley shoves him away and loosens his grip on you. “Okay, that’s enough. You’re either going to walk through those doors or you’re getting dragged out. I don’t care which.”

Derick scoffs. “Fine with me. I never liked you anyways.” He gives you a pointed glance, tucking the ring box into his jacket pocket.

“You have tonight to get your stuff out of the apartment that I paid for.” You say, rubbing the space between your eyebrows with your thumb. “I never want to see you again.” The second part comes out as a mumble, but he clearly gets the message.

“Fuck you.” He walks out, and the group of navy men by the door give him a dirty look. He’s more than ruined multiple peoples’ nights by this point. It went from one crying girl at a bar to the start of a bar fight in the two minutes he stood in front of you.

Bradley, concerned, gives you a soft look. “Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?”

You shake your head as more tears drip down your jaw. You hate this. You hate Derick, you hate yourself, and you hate the pitiful way Bradley is staring at you. Your California dream has turned into a nightmare. “No, but I’ll get a hotel somewhere. It’s not that big of a deal.” Your attempt to downplay the situation has Bradley on the verge of running after Derick and slapping the back of his big groomed head. You’re too nice for this, too sweet to be cheated on and forced to sleep in a cold bed that you paid $200 for.

“You can stay over at my place if you want. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I don’t want to put you out like that. It’s fine,” you assure him, though your voice is the least sure it’s ever been. “There’s a nice enough place a few streets away.”

Bradley shakes his head. His warm hand is on your shoulder, like he’s trying to ground you. “It won’t put me out. C’mon, princess, it’s not a big deal. You can rest up and we’ll figure out what else to do in the morning.”

He called you “princess” again. It’s nice, you think, in your drunken mind. Right now, you’re too tired to fight anything about the situation you’re in. “Alright. As long as you’re sure.”

He pays your tabs, slipping a look to the lady running the bar. She nods at him and mouths something that you can’t quite make out. As he leads you to his car, a nice, blue, vintage bronco, he keeps one hand on the small of your back. The heat feels nice, like you have someone securing you. Like you won’t ever stumble or fall before his strong arms catch you. He must be a real nice guy if he’s doing all this after so long.

He buckles you into your seat, and you let your head fall back onto the headrest. Your eyes close, and you desperately try not to think about what your life has come to. You feel a buzz in your jacket pocket, but you don’t pick it up. Everything is fine, you assure yourself. You didn’t just break up with the man you were going to marry, and he didn’t cheat on you, and your phone isn’t going off wildly through the fabric of your coat, and you’re not strapped into the car of your high school self’s dream boy. You ride that feeling, that denial, right into sleep.

You’ll deal with the real life problems in the morning.

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Taglist: @m1dnightsnackz @itsarabellebabes @shanimallina87 @sadgirlgiselle @callsignstingray

[thebearer]

Annnnnnd how would Lip act in the situation of the devastation fic

i’ve had to think about this tbh. bc he kinda already had his own version with the unexpected pregnancy news of freddy.

but i started thinking in terms of lip’s reader leaving and taking the kids with her, and genuinely, i can’t think of a situation where that would happen and she would come back. like they’d be done.

now, with that being said, i could see lip and you getting into a fight- a huuuuugggeee fight. bigher than the one when you found out you were pregnant with amelia. this is based off of lip with best friend!reader who’s a elementary school teacher. she does pretty well, has a salary and insurance so wayyyy better than anything lip grew up with, but they’re not rich by any means. truly comfortable. lip’s working at the auto shop, still doing odd ball jobs but more full time, got promoted to a shift supervisor and got a raise. you both share a bank account together bc it makes it easier.

debby (bc it’s always debby and i’m a debby hater sorry) does something stupid. stupid enough to need bail money, stupid enough that she might get franny taken away or placed into custody elsewhere. debby calls lip, wailing and frantic for money, and lip, of course, rushes to give in.

comes to you all frantic and manic. “hey, uh, i-i need to move some money alright?”

“move some money? why?” you frown. “lip, are you- is everything alright?”

“debby got arrested.” lip mumbles. he’s known you for a while, a long while, he knows your disdain when it comes to debby and her carelessness. more so, his incessant need to always pull her out of the hole she dug herself in. “she needs money for bail.”

“woah, woah, hold on.” you stop him. “you’re- you’re not- lip, absolutely not.”

“what?” lip snaps. “absolutely not? what-“

“-lip.” you glare at him lightly. “no, we-we don’t have that kind of money right now. jude starts daycare next month, and the daycare fees are going to double-“

“-yeah because you insist on puttin’ them in that fancy ass one by your school.” lip scoffs. “couldn’t leave them with mrs. mcgee. too fuckin’ good for that.”

“yeah, i am too good to leave my babies with a lady who chain smokes and watches the price is right all day.” you glare. “i want my babies to go somewhere safe and- that’s not even the point right now. lip, no. you’re not doing it. we can’t afford it.”

“we can fucking afford it. don’t start this shit with me-“

“-lip, we might have the money for it, but that does not mean we can afford it. that’s our savings, our safety net-“

“-and this is my family. my sister.” lip gritted his teeth. “isn’t that what the safety nets for, huh? for shit like this? unexpected bad shit?”

“not for debby.” you snap, finality in your tone. “not for someone who continues to make bad decisions and not learn from them and then wants you to run and get her out of it every time. i’m sorry, lip. this time i’m not letting you do it.”

that escalates bc one, you told lip he couldn’t do something which just made him turn more stubborn, and two, he’s blinded with irrational rage.

“what about franny, huh? she’s your fuckin’ niece, you’re gonna just let her get put in the system-“

“-franny is more than welcome to stay here. i will gladly take her while debby’s figuring shit out, but you have kids you need to think of. two kid that are yours that you need to think of, lip!”

“don’t you fucking dare.” lip snarls. “don’t you use my kids against me.”

“i’m not using them against you! jesus, lip, you don’t get to just come in here and tell me what we’re doing with our money! that’s my money in there too, ok? i’m telling you right now, if you fuckin’ use my money on this, and not think about our kids, you might as well just not come home.”

lip is furious, leaves without another word, slamming the door hard behind him leaving you in the house with freddy and baby jude. you’re fuming, upset, hurt- he’s feeling the same. lip is furious, furious at you telling him what to do.

he ends up at ian’s house after coming dangerously close to going to the alibi. ian talks him down, tells him you’re right, which was not what lip wanted to hear.

“debby can wait. she’ll get out soon enough and she can figure it out.” ian rolls his eyes. “she shouldn’t have been such a fuckin’ moron.”

“what about franny then, huh? you’re gonna just let her go into the system? let cps get her until then?” lip spat furiously.

ian scoffs. “franny is with carl right now. he’s bringin’ her here tonight.”

lip burns with embarrassment, feeling petulant but still pissed. “hey, word of advice?” ian smirks. “quit bein’ a hard headed jack ass and go home and apologize to your wife before she comes to her senses and leaves your ass for good.”

and lip is still mad but it’s dwindling, a guilt replacing it instead. he just needed to calm down, to think straight. walking back to your house, he had the time to.

lip jammed his key in the door, the ridges not sliding the usual way, not clicking. so he tried again, turning the key with no luck- it didn’t budge. he pulled on the knob, twisting again and again but nothing. “stupid fuckin’ piece of shit door.” lip grumbles, knocking on the door.

he waits, huffing, knocking louder. when there was still no response, lip goes to pull out his phone, only then does he see the pink envelope with his name on it on the welcome mat.

lip opens it up to find a note:

“phillip,

since you insist on doing whatever you want without asking me or considering our family, i decided i would do the same. you can go stay with debby since you chose her over me and my kids.

ps. don’t bother with the lock, i had them changed xoxo”

he found his car keys under the envelope. lip was furious, absolutely fucking furious and sick and upset and just overwhelmed with every emotion possible. you hadn’t even given him his lighter, so he took a walk to the corner store to buy a pack of spirits and a lighter. he called you on his way back, not surprised when you didn’t pick up.

“hey, you know, i know you think you’re bein’ real fuckin’ funny but this shit isn’t funny, ok? i didn’t choose debby, i didn’t do shit, alright? so let me back in the house and let’s be adults about this.”

then another voicemail.

“alright, seriously? you’re not gonna let me in? you’re not gonna let me come say goodnight to freddy or jude? that’s fucked up. really fuckin’ fucked up.”

“you’re bitchin’ me out about not spending money, and-and you get that done? get the locks changed? how much did that cost huh? you can use money to be petty and childish but i don’t get a say in what i want to use it in?”

“ok this is ridiculous. let me in. talk to me. be a fuckin’ adult.”

“seriously? where the fuck am i supposed to sleep tonight? i know you’re fuckin’ seeing’ these- i can fuckin’ see you! just let me in!”

you don’t budge. don’t reply back, don’t answer the calls. he knows better than to bang on the door, wake jude or freddy up, and truthfully… he’s a little terrified at the moment. very scared that you’re truly done with him, that ian was right and you’d come to your senses.

so he slept in his car. in the driveway, thankful it was warm that night and he had a few spare shirts and things in the back. he waited until the next morning, when he knew you’d be up with the boys, to ring the doorbell.

his anger had vanished to fear and guilt, retreating back to you with his tail tucked between his legs, all sad eyes and gentle apologies that you deflected with anger still bubbling.

it definitely took him a while to make it up, a very long while before you actually gave him his new key. he had to make it up to you, work on his communication and his sharing especially with you.

[autisticlancemcclain]

“You’re nervous.”

“Hnnngh,” Keith says, knuckles white on the steering wheel. He looks straight ahead, left leg bouncing, hair pulled back into a ponytail but flyaways everywhere. He keeps having to push up his glasses when they slide down his nose, nudged forward by all the tension in his eyebrows. “Being stressed before a stressful situation is not being nervous, Lance, it’s just my brain responding like a brain.”

Lance hides a smile. “You’ve met my family before, baby.”

Keith slows to a stop as they approach their turn, looking at Lance instead of the road for the first time in twenty minutes. His indigo eyes are wide and pleading. Lance is distracted by the tiny mole beside his nose.

“I’ve met your mom,” he says emphatically, breaking eye contact with Lance to crane his head to the left, checking over the hill for any cars. He’s far more careful than he needs to be — there’s never anyone on this road. But Keith is always endlessly careful when he’s driving other people around. “I’ve met your siblings. I’ve met your abuela. I’ve met the twins.”

“Mighty number of people,” Lance agrees. He looks at his boyfriend pointedly. “All of whom love you.”

“Because they love you,” Keith stresses. “You’re, like, their favourite person. You hyped me up so of course they have a nicer view of me. But this is like — your great grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles and, I dunno, second sister in law five times removed —

“Not how that works,” Lance interjects, amused.

“—and now I gotta impress them all? At once? I still don’t know how I did that with everyone else! I panicked! I forgot all my lines and conversation starters! I just — was awkward, and they were cool with it because your family is cool!”

“Ah, yes, you were yourself and people liked you,” Lance says, nodding sagely. “How bizarre.”

Keith looks at him imploringly. He has a — really cute nose, holy shit. It’s crooked from the three separate times it’s been broken and Lance is kind of obsessed with it. All he can think about is pressing a kiss to the bridge of it and watching how Keith will crinkle it on reflex. He has to fight back a giggle.

“I am going to get eaten,” Keith says miserably. “My luck is going to wear out. I’m gonna say something stupid and offend your third cousin or trip over someone’s toddler and destroy your mother’s flan by crashing into the table and upending hot coffee on an elderly person. Then I’ll get arrested for assault and you’ll have to visit me in prison and my cellmate will make a comment about you or something and I’ll have to kill him and then I’ll get retried and the death sentence, probably, and then Red will bust me out of prison and cause intergalactic meltdowns and —”

Lance can’t hold back anymore. Quick as a dart he reaches out, fisting Keith’s collar, and yanks him over the gearshift, kissing him softly and soundly until Keith sighs, surprise fading into something calmer, relaxed. His hand comes up to cup Lance’s cheek.

“You need a Xanax,” Lance says gently as he pulls away.

Keith huffs, the manic look in his eyes replaced with something much softer. Relieved, even. “Yeah, probably.” He tears his eyes away from Lance, rechecking his turn and finally actually putting on his blinker and moving onto the right road. His free hand reaches over the gearshift and Lance grabs it, tangling their fingers together and resting them in his lap. “I just — I want your family to like me.”

Lance smiles, a wide one that brings a flush to his cheeks and makes him shy, even though he’s not self-conscious; a smile that makes something flutter so intensely in his stomach that it feels so intensely private.

“They’ll like you,” Lance says simply.

Keith exhales. His hand tightens. Lance squeezes back.

The rest of the drive is easy.

———

By the time they make it to Lance’s great-grandmother’s farm, he can tell that some tension has crawled back into Keith’s shoulders. But he’s always been brave, when fighting dictators or meeting parents, and doesn’t hesitate to pull into the gravel driveway and park the car. He squeezes Lance’s hand again before letting go, stepping out of the car and heading to get their stuff.

“Tío! Tío!” scream two voices, and Lance doesn’t even have half a second to brace himself before Nadia is launching herself at his stomach. He manages somehow to spin them both around to offset the momentum, keeping them both upright. Keith is not quite so lucky — Lance hears a slam, a startled oof, and then he sees their bags go flying out of the corner of his eye.

“Jesus Christ,” Keith wheezes, flat on the ground with Sylvio crowded on top of him.

“I got you!” the boy crows, scrambling off Keith’s body in order to adequately dance around in victory. “You went splat!” He whirls around to face Lance, still dancing around. “Tío Lance! Did you see?”

Lance adjusts Nadia on his hip, making no attempt to hide his amusement. “I did. You got him good, buddy.”

Beaming, Sylvio turns back to Keith, who’s finally managed to get enough breath back in his lungs to stand.

“You got me good,” he wheezes in approval.

“Just like you showed me!”

There’s no mistaking the smugness in Sylvio’s voice, the challenge, the I’m-little-you’re-big-and-you’re-a-loser.

Keith recognises the challenge easily, eyes glinting, and before Sylvio can run away Keith scoops him up, tossing him over his shoulder and whirling them around ‘til he’s dizzy.

“Just like I showed you, champ. Think you can get out of this one, though? It’s easy!”

Sylvio shrieks, pounding on Keith’s back with fists weak from laughter. Nadia squirms in Lance’s hold, so Lance sets her down, and in seconds she’s run and attacked Keith’s other side, climbing up his legs to try and free her brother. Keith scoops her up, too, throwing her over his other shoulder as she laughs just as shrilly.

“Clearly neither of you learned very much!” he shouts, grin so wide it practically splits his face. His already precariously dangling glasses slide right off his face but Keith doesn’t even spare them a glance, stepping over them easily and shaking the twins as he goes. “You’re trapped!”

It doesn’t take the bright twins very long to unite forces, attacking Keith with renewed vigour all at once. Lance bends down as they wrestle, scooping up Keith’s glasses and their discarded bags.

“He’s good with them,” Lisa says, sidling up beside him and sliding her hand around his waist. Lance mirrors her, squeezing.

“He thinks they’re hilarious. He loves them to pieces.”

“Believe me, they love him too. I heard about Uncle Keith so much on the drive down that I was tired of him before you two even got here.”

Lance snorts. “Yeah, right, dweeb. No one else here reads Jane Austen. You need your nerd buddy.”

“Indeed,” she says, grinning. She pats him on the hip, pulling away and taking one of the bags slung over his shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get your stuff dropped off. Marcela will want to fuss over you, I’m sure. She hasn’t seen you since your last mission.”

Lance looks back at his boyfriend before following her, making sure he doesn’t need Lance’s help. The twins have wrestled him into doing their bidding, it looks like, or more likely he didn’t even put up a fight, and sit on one shoulder each, guiding him around the property with shouts and points and frenzied gesturing. Keith has his hand locked firmly over each set of knees, careful not to let them fall, as he wobbles around to make them gasp and laugh.

Lance smiles. He’s fine.

———

Keith finds him within the hour, Nadia and Sylvio off to play with their cousins.

“You abandoned me,” he pouts, hand wrapped around his elbow.

Lance notices, idly, that he’s slouching again; that his ponytail has been abandoned entirely and his hair curtains his face.

Hm.

“You were busy being a doofus,” Lance teases, brushing his hair out of his face. He nobly resists the urge to quote Regina George. “One of us has to be the mature one. We wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong impression about the saviours of the universe.

“You’re hiding out on a random couch on your phone,” Keith deadpans. He glances down at the screen. “You’re watching a seven year old vine compilation. On mute.”

“Like an adult,” Lance says primly. “Watch with me.”

Keith rolls his eyes fondly, but slides on the couch behind Lance, arms wrapped around his waist and chin hooked over his shoulder. Lance digs in his pockets until he finds Keith’s glasses, twisting around to slide them on his handsome face. His hands linger on Keith’s temples. Keith’s smile is small and crooked and bares the tiniest peek of crooked incisors, and Lance’s heart flutters.

He leans back into Keith’s chest as he plays the video, watching a compilation of dorky videos he’s seen a thousand times. He feels Keith’s grin press into the juncture of his neck as he starts to mumble along. His hand rests just under Lance’s shirt, flat on his stomach. Lance fights the urge to squirm.

You Are In Your Abuela’s House, he reminds himself firmly. Your Ancestors Are Watching You. And Jesus, Probably.

Luckily, someone calls out their names before Lance really needs to find a vat of ice water to dunk himself in.

“Leandro! Keith! Come eat before your hog of a brother takes it all!”

The two of them don’t even need to pause for a moment before throwing themselves off the couch, scrambling towards the kitchen at top speeds because Marco absolutely will eat their portion of the food. Not even because he’s hungry for it, just because he’s a butthead who thinks it’s funny.

“This is your fault,” Keith informs him, careening around a questionably placed side table.

“Nothing is ever my fault ever in the entire universe,” Lance shoots back.

(Is it Lance’s fault? Possibly. But in his defense, the several years he spent as a child waiting for Marco to be distracted before eating his favourite thing on the plate still make him crack up when he thinks about it. Marco just got so mad, every time. Plus his eyes bulge a little when he loses it. How was Lance ever supposed to avoid poking that bear?)

Luckily, they make it in time to wrestle a plate away from Marco’s snickering ass.

“Keith, Lance,” Lance’s mother greets warmly before Lance can crack a plate over his brother’s head. “I’m glad you made it!”

“Mother,” Lance squawks dramatically, hand flying to his chest, “I am the second to be greeted? You’re son? You’re youngest angel? The one who went missing for several years and returned to you, prodigal?”

She reaches over and flicks Lance in the forehead. Keith snorts. Marco cackles.

“Keith called me on the flight home,” she explains, ruthless. “So he is the son, and you are the son-in-law.”

Keith flushes as he always does when Mamá pairs them like that, when they’re both her sons, when she implies what it implies. Lance lets the warmth of that expression soak into his bones, deep in through his back, from every point Keith is touching him.

“I was sleeping off being maimed!” Lance despairs.

It does him no favours. Mamá waves her hands wildly, setting down her own plate in favour of placing her hands over her ears. “Gah! Sh! Do not tell me of these things! I am meant to pretend your job is nothing more than ornamental! Do not ruin that for me!”

“It was the slightest ever maiming,” Lance mutters, sullen.

Keith visibly bites back a retort to that, no doubt out of respect for Mamá.

(Lance knows that Keith would have been the world’s biggest mama’s boy had he grown up with Krolia. He has shared this hypothesis with Shiro, who had laughed so hard upon hearing it that he had sprained a muscle in his neck, and then explained later with a heat pack and a wryly smiling Adam that Keith used to scold Shiro for pushing himself with exact quotes from Shiro’s mother herself.)

“Nobody ever wants to hear my side of the story,” Lance laments.

Keith bends down to kiss him on the cheek.

“That’s because you are a liar,” he says kindly.

Lance catches his chin before he can pull away, kissing him to shut him up.

They head outside to join everyone else, plates stacked high with food and plastic cups balanced precariously with spare fingers. Keith starts to slouch again as they walk out the sliding screen door, but he keeps his hair out of his face, eyes flitting between different people. It helps that hardly anyone spares him half a glance, too used to random new people in such a big family.

“Hey, Patito! Over here!”

Lance whips his head up at the familiar voice, breaking into a wide smile when he sees his sister’s wilding waving hand. Keith, too, seems relieved when he catches sight of Veronica, rushing over almost faster than Lance is.

“Hey, losers,” she greets, flicking water from her cup at them as they sit across from her. “Took you long enough to get here.”

“Lance is a distraction and danger to the road,” Keith says immediately, because he is a snitch. He is also unfortunately very quick and manages to duck away from Lance’s pinch.

Veronica snorts. “Believe me, I know. Every ride back to the Garrison on weekends was a near death experience because he kept smacking me every ten seconds. A menace.”

“You manipulator!” Lance accuses. “I slapped you because you teased me! Constantly!”

Keith and Veronica share sharp, matching grins. Lance takes a nanosecond to ponder what he ever did to deserve the sufferings of their friendship.

“That’s because you’re so goddamn easy to rile up, sweetheart,” Keith says with a wink.

Lance attempts to shove him off his chair. Unfortunately, while he does flail backwards, he manages to stay upright.

“You two were supposed to hate each other,” he mutters into his congrí. “This friendship thing is bullshit.”

Neither believe him for a second.

They’re barely into their meal when the nosiness starts. In fact, Lance is honestly surprised it has lasted this long. Luis probably said something to convince everyone to tone it down, because he is a saint and also Lance’s favourite.

“So,” says his Aunt Vena, “…Keith.”

Keith freezes, cheeks bulging. Lance tries very hard not to laugh at him.

“Hi,” he says, swallowing. He says nothing else and looks agonized about it. His memorized conversation starters have no doubt fled his brain.

“You know, I feel like I already know you,” jokes Aunt Vena, never bothered by awkwardness. Or boundaries. “I only see Leandro a few times a year were the only thing he talked about for ages.”

Lance goes pale. Oh, please God, no. Please let Aunt Vena be suddenly gifted with the ability to read Lance’s mind, or at least notice him waving his hands frantically behind Keith’s head, making cutting motions at his throat.

“Keith this, Keith that. Keith Keith Keith.”

Lance cradles his face in his hands. So much for miracles.

“He did?” Keith asks.

“Stop investigating immediately or you’re sleeping on the floor tonight,” Lance threatens under his breath. Keith’s hand finds it’s way to his thigh and rests there, as if laughing at him.

“Oh, yes,” laughs Aunt Vena. “Every other word was about how you sat in class or walked in the hall or flew your planes. He was always angry about it, but he was quite focused on you. Oh, and your hair.”

Aunt Vena turns away to chatter with someone else like she didn’t just ruin Lance’s life. Lance would hate her if he didn’t find her so goddamn loveable, but he does, so instead he looks up and suffers Keith’s wide, shit-eating grin, and ponders deep in his heart how he will re-humble his boyfriend so they’re back on even ground.

“…You were big on the hair, huh.”

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll chop it off as you sleep.”

———

“Keith.”

“I’m just saying.”

“You dorkbrain.”

“I’m just saying!”

Keith’s hair is in a knot at the crown of his head, glasses pushed all the way to his face. He’s got Lance’s hand in his but he’s not paying attention to him in the slightest — he cycles between leaning back, then forwards, then craning his neck and shifting his eyes. Every few seconds he lets out a muted gasp.

A group of children run yelling in and out of the house, heedless of doors and stairs.

“You are such a mother hen,” Lance says with great amusement.

Keith is too distracted to even roll his eyes. “Some of them are very little,” he says worriedly. “Maybe they should play a game outside. There’s more space.” He looks around at the various adults sitting and chatting, aghast. “Should me maybe get a — pool noodle, or something? Just for the corners. So there are no head injuries. That’s the most common way they happen, you know. Tripping during play.”

Lance hums, leaning into his side. “Reading a lot of parenting books, are you.”

Keith is very deliberately silent. Lance flicks up his gaze to watch his face redden.

“…Akira.”

“It’s Shiro’s!” he says defensively. “It was — he had it on the shelf! I read it when I was younger! It was traumatizing! Do you know how easy it is to fuck up a kid? Very easy, Lance! Their heads are very squishy! They don’t know balance yet! They repeat everything you say!”

“Was this book,” Lance starts, choking back laughter with everything he has, “perhaps about raising toddlers?”

Keith’s jaw snaps shut.

“Children under two? Hm?”

Keith glances away. “It didn’t mention.”

Lance loses his battle, burying his cackling in Keith’s shoulder.

“How was I supposed to know that ‘A Guide To Raising Healthy Children For New Parents’ was about — babies? Shiro was the dumbass who had it!”

Lance laughs harder. “Did he — did he buy it when he —”

Keith puts his head in his hands. “He bought, like, forty books when he first started fostering me, they were all basically the same, he’s such a dumbass —”

“Stop, stop,” Lance begs, grasping his aching stomach. The image of Shiro, twenty years old, panicking after impulsively deciding to apply to foster the delinquent who stole his car, frantically googling advice for new parents only to unknowingly receive information about toddlers is the best mental image he’s had in a while. He’ll have to share with Pidge and the rest of the Holts the second they get home.

“You’re such a butthead,” Keith grumbles, but it’s half-hearted. His attention is still mostly on the way Mateo, Lance’s four year old second cousin, very nearly brains himself on the corner of the brick entryway trying to swerve away from his older sister. Keith’s sharp inhale would have been comical if Lance didn’t feel his own heart drop.

“Okay,” Lance concedes, “maybe it’s time for a new game.” He pats his boyfriend on the knee. “You’re up, champ.”

“Wait, me?” Keith asks, bewildered. “You’re their cousin.”

Lance shrugs. “You’re the worried one. Plus, I want to go get wine drunk with Rachel. Mamá said she just got here. She’s been avoiding my calls all week which means she has Information to share and doesn’t trust herself not to tell me immediately. I have to know what’s up.”

Keith still doesn’t look convinced. “But I’m a stranger to them, basically.”

“So start with Nadia and Sylvio, dummy. Once the rest of the kids see a cool newer and accidentally safer game to play, they’ll join fast. Plus, the stranger aspect is intriguing, probably. You’re like a new toy.”

To solidify his point, Lance calls his niblings over, gesturing to Keith. The twins light up, immediately abandoning whatever they’re doing — trying to shove a sleeping Luis’ finger up his own nose — to sprint over to them.

“Tío Keith has a game for you two,” Lance whispers conspirationally.

The twins burst into howling cheers.

“Game! Game! Game! Game!” they chant, each grabbing one of Keith’s hands and tugging him away.

Keith looks back at him, panicked. Lance blows him a kiss, then turns back into the house to go hunt for his sister.

She finds him first.

“LANCE,” she shouts, whipping around to face him. Lance immediately shifts backwards slightly, knees bent, legs widened, arms held out protectively in front of him. He smirks. She matches it.

She charges.

She aerials into a heel kick, as always, aiming for his skull. Lance back handsprings out of her reach, careful of the various relatives around him, who are well used to their brand of bullshit and don’t even pause their conversations as they lean away.

He comes back up just in time to throw up a block to her fists, aiming a kick to her stomach that she can’t fully dodge. She gets him right back, though, like she always does, aiming a sweeping kick for his ankles that he has to flip on his hands to avoid.

“It’s good to see you, fucker,” she pants, roundhouse kicking the dip of his waist.

“Likewise, asshole,” he grunts, grabbing her ankle and flipping her to the ground. She drags him down with her.

They’re both grinning.

“Tomorrow morning we box for real,” she proposes as they lay there, getting their breath back.

“Deal,” he agrees.

By the time they finally get back on their feet, they’re both parched, and since they also make frequent poor decisions, they head straight for the bad boxed wine. Lance pours them both heaping glasses and Rachel guides them to an open lawn chair, which they both sprawl on, a hundred percent in each other’s space.

“So,” Rachel says, chugging half her glass, “my grades are in. I’m graduating top of my class.”

Lance gasps. “Rachel!”

“And,” she continues, building up suspense with a grin, “I got word back from all my residency applications.”

Lance thinks he might explode. He remembers them when they were little, huddled on the floor of their bedroom at one in the morning, glow sticks guiding their planners, mapping out heir lives together. Where they would go to school, when they would bother with dating, how they would do it all together. Lance, best pilot to come out of the Garrison next to Shirogane. Rachel, the first surgeon to successfully transplant a brain.

“I got in,” she says, beam so wide it forces her eyes shut. “Lance, I got in!”

“Rach!” he screams, eyes blurry from tears and heart full to bursting. “Rach!”

He wraps his arms around her shoulders and squeezes, weeping with joy and elation and buzzing from his head to his toes. This is what Rachel has wanted since she was old enough to talk. This is his sister, his first and best friend, getting everything she has ever wanted, as she has always deserved.

“I’m so fucking proud of you!”

She squeezes him right back, her own tears wetting his t-shirt. Her relief is palpable, and Lance knows it, the indescribable feeling of finally crossing that goddamn mountain, finally getting what you’ve been working for for longer than you can remember.

“Everything is falling into place,” she says softly, pulling back and holding up her cup. Lance laughs and clinks them together.

They settle back into their shared chair, too happy for words, gathering themselves. Lance catches his mother’s eye and returns her soft smile, wine making him warm and happiness making him bright. He feels like he’s swimming in sun-warmed water.

He settles back with a sigh.

Rachel nudges him. “Hey, Loverboy. Look.”

Lance follows her pointing finger. Away from the tables and lawn chairs, in a wide, open space, there’s Keith — surrounded by every single child on the property, ordered in neat rows. Each of them has a hefty stick, held carefully in their hands, watching Keith with great intensity. Keith himself has his bayard out, stretched out in a battle position, back straight and shoulders loose. He has the same bright look on his face that he has during Lion training, or riskier missions. Excitement, steadiness, and a hint of cockiness that has Lance shivering. He demonstrates a move, and with a single minded focus, the children repeat it.

It has always been impossible not to want to be a part of everything Keith does, Lance has found.

“…You kind of scored,” Rachel observes.

Lance’s laughter is breathy, high-pitched. “Believe me, I know.”

There’s a rousing shout from the kids, then a cheer, then Keith shouts, “Ready?” and at their raucous response, chaos breaks out. Sticks are strikes and parried and children throw themselves dramatically on the floor in pantomimed deaths, scrambling to their feet seconds later to get back into the fray. Every few seconds Keith calls out rules and reminders, weaving through the children to point out places for improvement or congratulate someone for doing something right.

“I have never seen them all gathered this long without any crying or fighting,” Rachel says, something like awe in her voice. She pauses. “Well, real fighting.”

Lance smiles, something small and secret and over which he has no control. He catches his boyfriend’s eye and waves, which is returned at twice the enthusiasm.

“Keith’s good with kids,” he says quietly. To himself, he wonders if it’s possible to have a heart so full it bursts.

———

The blankets are scratchy but warm, and Keith smells as he always does, and Lance is half asleep. But the words come leisurely out anyway.

“You awake?“ he whispers, words tucked into the spot above Keith’s heart.

Keith hums. Lance feels the rumble of it in his cheek.

“Barely.”

His eyes are too heavy to keep open, so he lets them slip shut. He breathes deeply the smell of his boyfriend’s body wash, and traces meaningless patterns on his chest with his fingertips, breathing slowly, taking his time. He might fall asleep, but that’s okay. They have time.

“‘M glad you came, today.”

Keith’s breathing is slow and even, just like Lance’s, but he can feel the heavy weight of his gaze, those indigo eyes.

“I go where you go.”

Lance quirks his lips. The blankets rustle softly as Keith slowly slides up his hand, encircling his fingers around Lance’s wrist, palm resting on his forearm. After a minute Lance can feel his heartbeat, at the same time that he hears it, head pressed to Keith’s chest. “You’re good with the kids.”

Keith’s breath stutters. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I like them. And your family.”

“Told you.”

“Yeah, you did.” He’s silent for a minute, palm heavy on Lance’s skin. “I wanna — do this, Lance. Forever.”

Lance turns his head slightly, just enough to press his lips to Keith’s sternum. “I will love you until the end of time.”

He feels Keith’s smile, sweetening the air.

“I love you, too.”

[corruptedcaps]

Valentine

“Be your Valentine? Leave me alone Zane! And get that weird suit away from me!” Holly cried out as Zane the school’s bully approached her with a beautiful but unnerving skin suit. It was like anything Holly had ever seen. Big boobs clung to its frame, long blonde hair cascaded down its back, long painted nails stuck out from its fingers.

Its face, despite being lifeless, nevertheless seemed to have a bitchy confidence that Holly found intimidating.

“Put it on Holly then you and I can rule this school as it’s king and queen. Remember your dorky friend Lawrence? Well guess who I used to be before I found my suit.” Zane said grinning manically as he turned around to show her a zipper that was sticking out of his neck.

Holly’s eyes went wide. Could this really be Lawrence? The kind and nerdy boy she used to have lunch with every day until he suddenly moved without warning? Zane did appear around then. Could a suit really change someone that much? Regardless, Holly wanted none of this.

“Even if I believe you, I’m never putting on something so slutty and mean. Get lost!” Holly said defiantly.

“Fine. If you insist. Maybe I’ll just ask Lisa to be my Valentine, I’m sure she’ll say yes. It’s a shame because the suit really wants you, I can tell.” Zane said half heartedly turning around to leave.

Lisa was Holly’s friend, a shy girl who Holly knew would fold under pressure from an intimidating presence like Zane. He was going to get a girl to wear it no matter what, could Holly let that happen to some innocent girl when she could take the bullet right now. At least that’s what she said to justify her following actions.

“Stop! Ugh fine, give me the stupid suit.” She said exasperated. Handing her the suit Holly felt its soft skin with a mixture of wonder and repulsion. Stripping down to just her underwear she slipped her bare feet inside the feet of the suit. She expected a feeling of moisture but instead it was warm and cozy like a blanket.

“See this isn’t so bad is it? Nice toned and tanned legs, sure makes a change from those pale chicken thighs of yours.” Said a voice suddenly inside her head that wasn’t her own and yet she nodded in agreement.

The suit clung to her skin and she felt an immediate sting followed by a wave of pleasure as the nerve endings of the suit latched onto to her own. She ran he hand down her new legs and was amazed at how they felt like they were really apart of her.

“Don’t think of them of them as the suit’s, think of them as your own because they are yours now. Perfect slim and flexible legs. You know what goes well with that? A flat and toned tummy.” The voice continued with a sultry purr and Holly eagerly grabbed at the suit and pulled herself more into it.

The stomach connected to her belly with a satisfying slurp and she surpressed a moan as the suit’s bare pussy sucked onto her own. Involuntarily her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she felt the clit’s merge into one.

“Mmm can you imagine a stud like Zane going to town on your new pussy. His big cock would feel incredible inside you wouldn’t it?” The voice whispered and Holly could only manage a little whimper as she imagined the encounter. Only minutes ago she thought of Zane as nothing more of a bully but as she eyed him up and down watching her with increased lust she couldn’t stop thinking of his sweaty body rubbing up against hers.

“Not your pathetic body though, he doesn’t want those flat tits and flabby ass against his Adonis of a body, he wants a queen’s. Keep going!” The voice urged but Holly was already lifting the perfectly rounded rear end onto her meagre set. It instantly magnetized onto her own. She slapped it to test out the feeling and with a sly smirk approved.

Next she lifted the big boobs of the suit onto her own and for a moment worried the nerve endings wouldn’t reach other but as soon as it was in place she felt the suit fill in the difference. Her nipples immediately grew hard and she couldn’t help but touch them which proved to only excite her more.

“Imagine how much better they’ll feel with a permanent French manicure on your hands but where will you find those?” The voice said sarcastically. Holly slipped her hands into arms of the suit, slowly making her way to the fingertips, enjoying the sensation. She turned her new hands over and over, looking at her new nails in delight. They were long, sharp, and dangerous.

“Mmm these are perfect for tapping on a table while you watch a clique of mean girls loyally follow your every order, doesn’t that sound so fucking hawt?” The voice added and it filled Holly’s head with images of being the new queen bee at high school.

Holly couldn’t help but smirk at the thought. The idea of wielding that kind of power, of being someone everyone looked up to—or feared—was intoxicating. She had always been more of a background character, someone who blended into the margins of high school life. But this, this could be her chance to rewrite her story, to be the one in control.

“But wait,” Holly thought, a sliver of doubt piercing her daydream, “is that really what I want? To be feared? To be someone who leads through intimidation?” She pondered the voice’s seductive offer, the promise of instant popularity and power. Yet, as she did, she remembered the times she’d been on the receiving end of those glares, those whispered judgments. It wasn’t a good feeling, being on the outside looking in.

The voice seemed to sense her hesitation, its tone shifting ever so slightly. “Think of it, Holly. No more being ignored. No more being overlooked. You can have it all: the friends, the status, the power. Zane. All you need to do is say give in.”

As Holly envisioned herself surrounded by a loyal entourage, commanding attention and respect (or was it fear?) with every tap of her nails, a sense of exhilaration washed over her. This was it—this was what she wanted. To be powerful, to be envied, to be the epitome of beauty and authority. The idea of becoming the queen bee, of leading with an iron fist in a velvet glove, was making her unbearably wet.

“Yes I want it. I want it all!” Holly thought, the voice’s seductive promise igniting a fire within her. She could almost feel the power coursing through her veins, fueled by every admiring and envious glance thrown her way. The thought of being at the top, untouchable, and making the rules was all that mattered.

“There’s only one thing left to do. Put on your new face, become the bad bitch you long to be.” The voice said echoing in Holly’s mind. Holly shoved her face into the suits pretty but cold and calculating face. She felt the big bitchy lips settle onto her thin pursed pair. Long eyelashes wrapped around her eyes given her a darkly intense stare.

The suit’s zipper magically rolled up and under her now long gorgeous blonde mane. As the zipper closed she let out one final gasp as if the last vestiges of her pure soul was squeezed out and an evil blackness enveloped her heart.

“My god, Holly, you look even better than I had hoped.” Zane said looking at her hungrily. However she reacted to him calling her by her name like she smelt something foul.

“Holly? Do I look like a Holly?” She said in mild disgust.

“Of course not babe, what should I call you then?” Zane replied knowing the disgust she felt.

She turned to the nearby mirror and looked at her new form, waiting for inspiration. She needed a name dripping in luxury, one that was both elegant and powerful. Then she remembered what day it was and a smirk crossed her lips.

“Valentina.” She uttered. As soon as she said it, it was if her new persona solidified in her mind. Striking her hair she knew exactly what kind of mean bitch Valentina was and would be.

“Valentina? A perfect name for a perfect woman.” Zane grinned as he stalked up next to her. She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He smelt good and she couldn’t wait until he treated her like the queen that she now was. However the voice instead her head returned with some wicked words.

“I’m sure he’ll be a perfectly fine king by your side but think of how much hotter it would be to put a true bully in his suit.” The voice whispered and Valentina found herself getting aroused at the idea of betrayal. So much so that her hand was already toying with the zipper on his neck. The question was would she fuck him first or just fuck him over. It was her day, she could whatever she wanted.

[miss-cincaide]

Numbers Three To Ten 

Summary: You feel pity for the way he whines that he’s all alone, that a woman will never want to sleep with him, inadvertently walking right into the sweet torture he’s set out for you, with toys and a set up that leaves you desperately counting up from three to ten. 

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Mahito  Kinktober prompt 6: Gags  WC: 1.9K Warnings: Dark content  including gag ball, light choking, toys, pressure, some unhealthy play, feet, multiple O's, jerking off,

“Women don’t love me!” 

“All women?” You raise a slim eyebrow at the pale-skinned, patched-together curse opposite you. A little smirk plays on your lips as you watch him, his head on his arm, staring at the alcoholic Mohito in front of himself. His free hand grips the measly straw, trying to stab the mint leaves in his drink. “Or just the women you’ve asked out? You know, the normal ones who don’t dig curses, stitches and death-coloured skin.” 

You wave your hand in his general direction, and Mahito sticks his tongue out, making a face of your words. You flip him the bird, and he goes right back to pouting. 

“Ahh, what’s the point? They’re all just going to say the same thing anyway!” Mahito buries his head in his arm like a little moody kid who didn’t get his favourite toy for Christmas. “Unless you’re buying them off the streets, none of them will ever say yes to me!” 

He is precisely like a moody, spoiled kid on Christmas, except where the ‘toy’ is sex, and ‘Christmas’ a woman putting out without him having to pay for the hour. You’d have felt an inch of pity for him if he weren’t the boss's favourite. The fact of the matter is if Mahito wanted anything, Kenjaku would most probably give it to him. He’d make his work his pretty curse ass for it, but Mahito would get his wish fulfilled nonetheless. A fact that made you, who was just hired to do odd jobs here and there, never a guarantee to the group, funds or safety,  just the slightest bit bitter. 

“As I said, just the women you ask out. You can’t expect a babe who sees a grey corpse to drop her panties for you” You take a clunk of your rusty nail half, finishing the drink. “Go for someone with cursed energy; a sorcerer, another curse, hell, even a human with sight who hangs around the cemetery, and your chances of getting your dick wet will skyrocket.” 

Suddenly, Mahito is in your face, eyes wide and a manic grin to match. “So if I ask you for a night, you’ll say yes?” 

You realise you walk right into that one. Some of you feel embarrassed, and others a little awkward at being propositioned so openly at the hideout.  Although you’re alone in this fake hideout bar, with only bottles and glasses to keep you company, there’s no telling who or what is listening in. Still, you hide that embarrassment behind your glass, taking a long sip while considering his question. Mahito is cute, shorter and smaller than your usual type, but not ugly. His power and connections are an added bonus- a make-up factor for his likely shortcomings in other departments. Because let’s face it, those skinny jeans weren’t hiding a 10-incher. 

“Maybe” " you mumble, a hint of a smile on your lips as you down the last of your drink- a feeble attempt to hide from his prying eyes and lewd grin. When that didn’t help or get him to back away, you ruffled his hair as though he were a kid. He gets back in your face, though, slowly licking his lips, something between a pervy grin and a predatory smile. 

You shudder and jump off the barstool. 

“I’m gonna hold you to it”, Mahito calls, finishing his drink and then rushes to catch up to you with quick steps. 

You just roll your eyes, trying to keep your blush at bay as he practically dances around you as though you were a Christmas tree. “So whatcha into, kitten? Choking? Slapping? Doggy? Doesn’t matter! I’m sure you won't return to the boring stuff once you have some of me.” 

He dances around you towards his room, opening it with a kick before jumping behind and urging you in. The place, to your surprise, is barren, practically empty. Everything is meticulously stuffed away in drawers and cupboards. The bed looks clean, almost untouched. Although you probably shouldn’t be surprised if he only used it for ‘fun times’- curses didn’t sleep, did they? 

You find your voice and speak, an unmistakable shake in it as you answer his cocky comment. “Won’t go back? Damn, that sounds like a threat Mahito. Are you going to what? Turn me into one of those moaning blobs of yours.” 

You laugh, he doesn’t.

 He is too busy rooting around the cupboards in his room, moving one thing, second, third, cursing before he’s back in front of you again with such speed he makes you jump. Or was it the room's dim lighting that made you miss his movements? 

“You mean morph your soul? Hmm, I could do that if you don’t behave, that is,” His hands reach for your face, cold fingers grasp your cheeks in one of his hands, and he turns your face side to side before smooshing them together. “ I like my women quiet, you know? None of that fake moans, talk, gaps, praise.” 

You try- and fail- to pull your lips into a frown. “Beggers can’t be choosers”, you try to mutter, but it comes out muffled. You slap his hand away and try to repeat yourself. “Beggars can-” he cuts you off by showing a ball gag against your lips.

Suddenly, Mahito slams you against the door behind you. The little curse, a head shorter than you, suddenly feels the same height. His eyes are practically glowing, a wide, sadistic grin on his face, a knee between your legs, a hand on your throat squeezing just enough to let you know it’s there. And the other is still holding the ball gag to your lips, pushing right past them up against your teeth. 

“ I said, I like my women quiet. Now, be a kitten and do as you’re told. Or else. You won’t like ‘what else’” Mahito watches you, your every reaction, your every breath, a challenge in his expression. The hand around your throat tightens slightly, and you break eye contact with him. 

When did the pewny little Mahito become such a dominating ass? 

You don’t know whether to be surprised, aroused or scared. The one thing is certain: you’re not leaving anytime soon, certainly not until he’s done with you. Almost angrily, your teeth part, and you wrap your lips around the gag ball. Instantly, Mahito’s hands let go of your body and reach behind you to tie the thing firmly into place. 

“ That's not so bad, right?” You groan a reply, words unformable. “Ahh ahh ahh, quiet women, remember?” Mahito waves a finger in front of you in a side-to-side motion before tilting your chin up. Then his hand trails lower, first slowly, then inhumanly fast, as though he had several arms. “You won’t be needing those”

You blink, your clothes are gone, your naked aroused body on full display. But he isn’t fucking touching you, no, Mahito is pulling you to his bed. He stops you a distance away, changes his mind and jumps behind you, his hands on your eyes. “Let's make it a surprise, a fun surprise doll. To warm you up, pick a number, let's say between one and five.” 

Remember his wonders: you raise your fingers, three. Number three feels safe, even as he pushes you to the bed and then kicks you into it. You brace yourself against the covers, wiping off the dripping ball against the sheets. You feel yourself shudder in anticipation, shifting a little on the bed to rub your legs together, getting yourself even more worked up. This is so weird but also exciting, definitely kinky.

Maybe you’ll even get off on this.

You hear him count: one, two, three. What even was three? You don’t know; it felt like a middle ground, a safe place – oh god! 

A fucking vibrator?! Straight on your unexpected clit?!

You scream, and the ball muffles the sound, the feeling so intense you try to wiggle away from it. Mahito pulls your right back, a foot landing on your head keeps you from squirming away, a hand pulls your arms back, locking them on your back, and the other hand’s torturing your pussy. On your clit, around it, down your slick folds and back up again. Speeding up, slowing down. Pressing hard down, then gentle, then gone. 

“Ohh, is it so intense, kitten? Let's see how you handle number 4” Mahito’s foot readjusts on the back of your head, pressing your drooling face into the mattress. You’re shuddering, gasping in anticipation, trembling.  

Is number four bigger? Is it also a vibrator? A dildo? FUCK it was a rabbit. Four inches inside you, two vibrating ears bullying your clit. 

“Mmmmm!” 

The ball in your mouth is tight and soaked, drool pooling under your face, leaving a huge wet patch on the bed. But it doesn’t match the gush of your pussy around the toy. Hot juices everywhere: on Mahito, on his hand and the bed. And you’re whimpering and twitching on the bed even after the toy is gone, and his foot still keeps your face down, you keep your needy ass up.  

“Five?” 

You nod quickly. The foot disappears, and he pulls you up with his hair. You’re on your knees on the bed, hands behind your back. Mahito holds it for you as you slide down the five-inch dildo. Once it’s snuggly inside you, he lets it go, leaving you to bounce on it alone. 

You don’t disappoint, whining as you ride it. Your eyes locked with him, the way he watches your every move from the sidelines. Hand on his cock, stroking himself to your thrusts. You want to give him a show, throwing your head back, putting extra effort in your thrusts so your tits bounce up and down with each thrust of your hips. You whine and slobber, drool pooling around the gag before it rolls down your chin. 

You stick your tongue out and lap at the ball from the side just a little. In that second, you see something change in Mahito; he’s moaning, his hand picking up speed, and then slows down as you do. “Keep going, kitten, come on, work those slutty thighs. Go on; I wanna hear you moaning as you cum around that tiny toy.” 

Who are you to deny him? 

You drop back on your back as your come, eyes on the ceiling, desperately panting, keenly aware of the toy slowly sliding out of your slick hole. You whine a little; you want it in you, pushed as far as it would go. Mojito leaves you whining, not letting you touch it or yourself until your breathing goes back to normal.

You’ve recovered; it's time for round three. 

“Still Needy?” Mahito’s laughing at you, toying with you, pushing the tip of the Rabbit in and out, relishing in the sight. “If that’s how you’re at five, just wait until we get to ten, kitten.” 

You want to scream ‘fuck yeah,’ but all you let out is an excited moan and a manic grin that matches his own. You don’t know why you hesitated to sleep with Mahito or why anyone would hesitate to have such intense sex with him, but at this point, you consider it their loss. Because after five, there are still four numbers, and your pussy can’t wait to try every one of them out. 

To see which one you like best, of course.

Author note! God it's so frustrating that Tumblr keeps filtering my fics out from the latest feed.. anyone knows why it keeps doing that?

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[airaibunny]

dom!sana x sub!fem!reader - “she’s better” (warnings: smut, thigh riding, degradation, orgasm control, fingering, jealousy, friends with benefits, breast/nipple play, biting)

a/n: i wrote this half asleep, please excuse me if anything sounds funky.

word count: 2.1k

sana has been scowling at you from across the living room since you and nayeon left your bedroom. this has become a regular occurrence lately. you and nayeon have gotten extremely close in the past few weeks—not that you weren’t already close, but it has escalated quite a bit for some reason. you’ve been talking about very serious topics for hours, which has been very pleasant. the members don’t usually include you in such conversations because you’re the maknae. every time you finish talking and finally walk outside, sana has the same irritated frown on her face. she’s convinced there’s something going on between you and nayeon, even though there most definitely isn’t. however, she doesn’t need to know that. that’s why you don’t explicitly deny anything when she asks you about it.

you take immense advantage of her being angry, she’s a lot rougher that way. sana might be thought of as the sweetest or cutest member in twice, but when it’s just you and her; she’s far from that. she’s extremely possessive, even if what’s going on between you two is ‘just sex.’

you fiercely wish it wasn’t though, you’ve been smitten with everything about minatozaki sana from the day you met her. you want to tell her this, but you can’t. the day this ‘relationship’ started between you two she was very clear on the fact that she didn’t like girls, so you said the same. you both agreed this was simply a way of helping each other deal with stress.

“are you two fucking?”

jeongyeon asks, pointing at you and nayeon. the room goes silent and you’re pretty sure you hear someone choke on something.

“what the fuck? no.”

nayeon snaps back and dahyun starts manically laughing, throwing herself on the floor in the process.

“well, what are you doing in there every damn day?”

chaeyoung inches closer to you guys and questions out of curiosity as well.

“we’re literally just talking, calm the fuck down. why don’t you go worry about how well you and mina are hiding what YOU do in your room.”

chaeyoung let’s her jaw drop, walking back and putting her hands in the air in defeat. dahyun is still rolling on the floor, holding her stomach as she cackles hysterically.

“i think you’re being a little too defensive for that to be the truth.”

sana unexpectedly joins in on the conversation, leaving you wide-eyed and frozen in place.

“okay, i’m done with this conversation, goodbye.”

with that, nayeon walks away and into the kitchen. everyone shrugs it off smirking at you guys and goes back to whatever they were doing before. you head into your room again, wanting to escape the awkward silence outside. you’re also hoping that sana will follow you, and sure enough, she does. after a few minutes of sitting on your bed alone, you hear the door open and sana walks in, turning the lock behind her.

“you’re not even trying to hide it from everyone else anymore.”

she walks closer to the bed, making you slide back and letting her crawl on top of you.

“why does that matter to you? it’s not like i’m telling them about us.”

she lowers her lips to your neck, alternating between biting and kissing it to lesser the pain.

“i just didn’t take you for such a whore, getting nayeon to fuck you and then letting me do the same.”

she’s no longer kissing you, only biting. her hand lifts your shirt up to reveal your severely marked breasts. it’s all from her, they’re entirely her marks.

“what does nayeon say when she sees these? what do you tell her?”

she stares at you, waiting for an answer before going on any further.

“she doesn’t say anything.”

you’re not exactly lying, nayeon doesn’t say anything about them, even if that’s because she’s never seen them. sana completely takes off your shirt and the rest of your clothes along with it.

“why put your clothes back on and go outside at all? so much wasted time.”

she keeps teasing you with phrases like that, you’ve thought about the possibility of her being jealous, but that can’t be. she doesn’t like you, you know this for sure. she’s just saying whatever she thinks will turn you on.

her lips come in contact with your neck again while she uses her hands to massage your swollen breasts, squeezing and tugging at your nipples. she keeps doing this for while, rapidly increasing the force she’s doing it with until it starts to hurt you a bit.

“sana, that hurts.”

“good. when you’re laying in bed tonight, i want you to remember me fucking you, not nayeon.”

this makes you incredibly wet. you can feel the slick running out of you and onto the bed, but you’re not going to let her know that.

“fuck you.”

sana stops what she’s doing and comes up to look at you, a smug smile on her face.

“is that what you want, to fuck me? would you even know how?”

sana laughs and throws her head back, letting you get a perfect view of her neck. you want to kiss her as well, but you know she won’t let you. she’s the one who gets to kiss and play with you, not the other way around.

“you’re hilarious.”

she brings her face to the nipple she’s had in her hand the entire time, putting it in her mouth to tease you even more. her hands go to your thighs, stroking them and spreading them apart. you’re completely entranced by her every move, falling deeper and deeper into her intoxicating touch. your breathy moans quickly fill the room, the air starts to feel heavy and stuffy. you want more, but she won’t give it to you.

“sana, stop being such a tease.”

she stops what she’s doing, rolling her eyes and staring at you with an annoyed look on her face.

“didn’t you just cum five minutes ago? let me have some fun.”

fuck.

she just won’t let this nayeon thing go. what’s her problem? can she not see how badly you want this? admittedly however, this is your fault. you’re the one who’s letting her believe all of this, so you just have to deal with it now.

“sana please.”

“no.”

she goes back to sadistically playing with your tits, making you cry out in frustration. her face is adorned with a smile; she loves this. she loves making you upset, it’s how she gets off.

you notice a shift in her demeanor and she’s no longer touching you at all, just staring and poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue.

“tell me what nayeon does to you when you’re alone, i want to hear everything.”

you don’t know what to say, but you can’t tell her it was all a lie now.

“what nayeon does doesn’t concern you.”

you look up at her, giving her the same angry stare she’s giving you.

“if you don’t tell me, i’m not touching you.”

you don’t know what to do, you need her to touch you, but you have no clue what you can tell her to make this happen.

“that’s fine, she’s better than you anyway.”

shit, maybe you shouldn’t have said that. it was the first thing you could think of. you thought it might make her keep going, but you now realize you have just jumped into a much bigger pot of boiling water than before.

“say that again.”

“i said she’s better than you, sana.”

you can see her eyes darken and her jaw clench. you don’t know what’s about to happen, but sana looks irate. she’s never looked at you with such venom in her eyes, all her silly frustration toward the nayeon situation has always been very tamed, this doesn’t seem like that. maybe you went too far.

“sit the fuck up.”

she doesn’t give you even a second to react to her request, simply pulling you up and turning you around. your back is now pressed against her chest, you can feel her breathing on your neck and it sends shivers down your spine.

her hand quickly finds its way to your drenched folds, pressing against them without missing a beat. her other hand is in your hair, pulling it so your head in pointed up and resting on her shoulder.

“that was awfully bold of you, slut. let’s see if you still think that after i’m done.”

she quickly adds speed to the hand between your legs, making you twitch and jolt in response to her every move. her other hand is still firmly gripping your hair. you feel that familiar heaviness in the pit of your stomach, building more and more as she continues stimulating your heat.

“oh c’mon, it’s too soon.”

she stops, fully taking her hand away from you. you whine in protest as she pushes you forward, making you land on your hands. she positions herself behind you, putting her hand over your core once more.

“if i think you’re going to cum too soon again, i’ll stop.”

she abruptly pushes two fingers inside of you, making you scream out in pain.

“sana!”

“oh sorry, is nayeon more gentle? is that why she’s apparently better?”

you can’t believe you’re hearing about nayeon again. even as she knuckles deep inside of you, she still has to bring her up. is it really possible that she’s jealous? there’s no other explanation for her extreme behavior. you can’t think about this right now though, not when she’s pounding in and out of you at such a sinful speed.

your arms feel weak, they can’t hold you up much longer. your entire body is shaky, but all you can focus on is how fast she’s going.

her free hand suddenly lands a loud hit on your ass. your entire body jerks forward, letting out a loud whine.

“oh wow, did you like that, cunt?”

she does it again, earning another moan. she giggles, curling her fingers inside you and keeping the same steady pace. the same feeling as before comes back, stronger this time, you want to get off so bad, but she won’t let you just yet.

“no, you’re doing it too early again.”

she stops once more, leaving the same emptiness as before inside you. your core aches and your legs feel numb, why won’t she let you get off?

“sit.”

she pats down her thigh and motions ‘come here’ with her hand. you blindly follow her command, completely forgetting whatever it is you were trying to prove at the beginning of this.

her hands land on your hips, holding you in place. her lips connect to your neck once more, leaving wet kisses all over it. she begins rocking your hips against herself, slowly adding pressure.

“sana…”

you moan out her name, loving how every letter sounds in your mouth. she hums against your skin, flexing her thigh under you.

“hm, did you call out nayeon’s name like that too?”

you’ve had enough of nayeon. you can’t hear her say that name one more time. without thinking, you grab her face and press your lips against hers.

in all the time this has been happening between you two, you’d never kissed. it always felt too intimate for some reason.

“stop talking about nayeon, please. i don’t care about her.”

her scowl is suddenly completely gone. all you can see in her face is shock. she cups your cheek with her hand and brings you in for another kiss. this one is long and profound, your tongues knotted with each other. your hands wrap around her neck, wanting to feel her entire body on yours. her hands are still on your hips, guiding them along her thigh.

you can feel yourself getting hotter, blood rushing to your core. your cheeks feel fiery and your breathing is unsteady. all of your moans and whines are falling directly into her mouth, making her speed up at every sound.

you feel your muscles tense and squeeze her in anticipation. your lips are still on hers, refusing to let her go.

you are on the edge, you know you’re about to cum and you think she might stop, but she doesn’t.

you finally let yourself fall apart, shaking and whimpering in her arms. your eyes are tightly shut and your entire body is pulsating. she continues rolling your hips on her, slowing down to let you fully feel the orgasm.

once you’re calm enough to speak, she brushes the hair out of you face smiling.

“well, that was a nice kiss.”

she jokes and you roll your eyes at her as you pant, still somewhat dizzy. you’re about to kiss her again, when you suddenly feel a wave of guilt wash over you.

you have to tell her.

“sana, there��s nothing going on between me and nayeon. i’m sorry i lied, and i’m sorry i said she was better than you.”

she keeps smiling, leaning in to kiss you again.

“i already knew that.”

[vingvks]

Mikey headcanons.

(My perspective, opinion on Mikey headcanons)

(Also any ideas for characters?)

MIGHT BE SPOILERS! ⚠️

Mix of female and male reader

(Kanto or kantou manji idfk and idfc)

Might be bad grammar because I’m naturally a fast typer.

Fluff

-I could see Mikey being clingy (Toman Mikey and maybe even Manila and Bonten Mikey but in more private places with just you and him.)

-Toman Mikey’s probably very defensive and protective of you, just like with baji. (Ifykyk)

-if your in a bad mood he might give you a couple nibbles of his dorayaki, only if your sad but he’s definitely stingy.

-messy sleeper. I feel like sleeping in the same bed with him is a mess. He definitely will have his arms and legs everywhere. I feel like he would randomly wrap legs with you.

-Your relationship would probably be private for safety reasons even though he would still let you around Toman but your his so called close “friend” similar to his relationship with Draken.

-Petty, not petty in like a bad way though. For example if you forget to get him some dorayaki when your coming to see him he’ll do something small but petty as revenge.

-only sleeps in cold beds. He likes the cold breeze in his room.

-he’s like a woman on her period when you don’t bring him the snacks when he asked you to.

Angst

-when Draken died his mental health got even worse. I believe Draken used to baby Mikey because he could never get out of bed on his own after what happened with Shinichiro so you’d have to be the one to help him with simple tasks like helping him get up and care for him because he won’t do it for himself.

-Bonten Mikey is a light sleeper so if you move a lot he’ll definitely get pissed and hurt your feelings by saying something insensitive, he will never hit you though.

-Bonten Mikey has insomnia on certain nights, he’ll lay in bed with you until you fall asleep and then get up to do something else while your sleeping.

-Manila Mikey would ruin plans with you to go out and find takemichi. (Ifykyk)

-Bonten Mikey would definitely talk shit about Bonten executives to make you hate them as much as he does.

-Once kanto manji arc started Mikey became possessive. Like you cant talk to certain people and he needs to know where you are at all times. This is because Mikey feels as if those around him that he loves are bound to die, he feels as if he’s bad luck. If you were to not tell him where you were he would send members out to find you and dark impulse might even happen, as in he might hurt or kill someone in the meanwhile.

-long hair Manila mikey will come to your house randomly to hang out meanwhile acting as if he doesn’t have his victims blood on him.

-all Mikey’s (except toman and kanto) are pretty merciless. That’s included killing a child or animal if needed.

-Ever since Kanto manji arc Mikey tends to get easily frustrated or pissed even though he keeps a blank face. His eyes say it all.

-sometimes Mikey might snap at you because of dark impulse and then realize what he did. This would result in him doing something such as starving himself, locking himself in a room somewhere or just straight up harming himself as self punishment.

(This is actually a headcanon because of black dragon arc where Mikey purposely let taiju hit him as a punishment to himself and when he let Draken beat him up because he couldn’t protect Emma. Basically letting others hurt him because he believes he deserves it.)

-Manila Mikey has manic episodes sometimes. I feel like he would be delusional at times and hallucinate.

-Bonten Mikey cannot sleep without you, he doesn’t like the thought of you being somewhere else while he’s laying down.

-Manila Mikey is manipulative time to time to get what something he really wants. When he doesn’t get it regardless he’ll loose his cool and get violent, Mainly from dark impulse.

-Keep a close eye on Bonten Mikey and Manila Mikey when you can. Atleast text Bonten Mikey four times an hour to check on him. But don’t text him on busy days. If he doesn’t answer your text call him on a busy day, call him.

-Mental disorder for sure.

-bad communication skills. Whenever you call him out he’ll say something like “You knew what you were getting into.”

-puts you and those he truly loves before himself. Selfless person but also very selfish when it comes to people he doesn’t care about.

-Bonten mikey has fantasies of having a double suicide with you. So that he’ll be free from his suffering with you still right beside him in his heart. You’d both probably end up dying with each other.

-very possessive and jealous. To the point it can be agonizing. Only if you really put him in his place (in any way..) he’ll stop for a bit.

-Manila mikey is usually smiling but as soon as he gets angry his whole persona turns upside down.

-Bonten Mikey has scars all along his body but hides it with sleeves etc.

-Long hair Manila mikey does a lot more gore killing then you’d expect.

-toxic asf

-yandere (toman mikey doesn’t kill others however other timeline Mikey’s wouldn’t hesitate for you.)

-They’d probably treat you like shit at times but go spiraling when you threaten leaving them, despite knowing that you can’t.

-I feel as if at times they’d occasionally victimize themselves, only till you hit them with a reality check.

-They are guilt tripping at times, but I feel they’d do it to get your attention, unhealthy obsession.

Smut

Dominant (mixed slight submissive in this too but yeah…)

-Long hair Manila mikey would wanna do some crazy shit sex wise, despite him never actually doing it for you sake.

-Bonten Mikey is definitely rough but quiet. In a irritated mood? That’s fine, he’ll take it out on you sexually.

-kanto manji Mikey is also pretty quiet but he starts off slow and then gets faster. He really doesn’t care, he’ll fuck you while other Kanto manji members are near.

-Manila Mikey does a lot of foreplay. Like thigh and neck kissing and slowly making his way up. If you were to do it to him he’d be ashamed of himself but then again he loves it.

-I feel as if long hair Manila Mikey and short hair Manila Mikey would do foreplay for a long time until you get desperate enough to beg him for more than just that.

-Manila Mikey groans a lot and whines occasionally. I feel like he’s slightly louder and whines often when he’s in the submissive role.

-Kanto manji Mikey doesn’t have a high-sex drive so he’ll just rail or ride you for your sake (he still loves it though) . But every other Mikey timeline do it for themselves.

-only time Kanto manji Mikey is in the mood is when he needs to relive his anger. (Either topping you or bottoming for you, whatever he wants more.)

-Every Mikey timeline is controlling in the sex department. (They can still be a controlling bottom until you put him in his place.)

-long hair Manila Mikey only fucks to get his mind off things. He’ll go all night, depending on how long you go the louder he gets.

-he’ll praise you just so your body can react.

-his hips and thrust are hard. Prepare for painful aching the next day.

-Thigh kissing kink.

-choking kink.

-lots of hickeys on collarbone and neck.

-emotional sex depending on how he’s feeling.

-passionate sex if you’ve pleased him or impressed him in anyway.

-he definitely leaves bruises on your hips, he keeps a firm tight grip.

-I feel like Manila Mikey would call you “doll”

-Manila Mikey is playful and unserious at first but when he starts to feel the pleasure he gets quiet and rough.

-this might suck a little but if you piss them off sometimes he’ll become controlling and only go for his own orgasm, leaving you half done unless you beg for it.

Submissive

-Bonten Mikey was not a big fan when he realized he was more submissive to you. As long as you take him somewhere very private he’ll be as loud as he wants. Other than that he doesn’t fuck in places where people are near.

-Kanto manji Mikey is loud. Deadass don’t know why but I feel like he’s mumbles curse words while you rail or ride him, he’s gets a satisfaction of relief. (depending on your preference and gender)

-Manila Mikey, his ego was lowkey hurt but if you go fast he’ll only care about sex in that one moment.

-Kanto manji Mikey doesn’t like fucking in open places. You have to be somewhere private and far away from gang members. As long as he isn’t limping or aching when your done he’ll pretend nothing happened and go on about his day.

-Bonten Mikey whispers. He’ll whisper if he wants it slower or faster but if you don’t slow down sometimes he’ll get loud.

-if you make Manila Mikey cry in the middle of sex he’ll get submissive and emotional. He’s a pretty crier.

-Manila mikey likes to ride. He’s louder that way.

-I feel like in response to his trauma he’d hate being degraded severely while bottoming, only occasionally, he’d probably prefer quiet sex or you praising him.

-Both Bonten and Kanto manji Mikey grip sheets tightly. They might even tear the sheets.

-best place you can get any timeline Mikey submissive is bending over a desk or table.

-Manila Mikey has a praising kink, you praise him and he’ll praise you back. He will ever admit how much it makes his heart race.

-Bonten Mikey breathing gets erratic when you praise him.

-All Mikey timelines hate the thought of getting caught being in a submissive position. I genuinely think they would kill or threaten anyone who were to see a damn thing.

-Bonten Mikey is disrespectful until you fuck him dry. He’d probably be judging and talking shit nonchalantly then get all quiet when you prove him wrong.

-Neither of the Mikey timelines talk much in the middle of sex beside Manila mikey. I believe that the rest of the Mikey timelines beside Manila mikey are pillow princesses when on a bed because they’re too embarrassed to see the look on your face while your fucking them. (Either riding or railing them)

-fucking any long hair Manila mikey or any adult Mikey with with his long hair out and free is top tier. He’s pretty with his hair out and messy.

-Punishment sex for any of them is a turn on but they’ll never admit. Nothing is more embarrassing to Mikey than you making him beg for it.

[ssplague]

Benighted Beloved

Chapter two

Masterlist

Warnings: Some Katsuki-esque violence this chapter, that’s all.

Honorable mentions 💌

@lalachanya  @mrsmelaninhood 

@whatdidshesayyy @faemagic88

@viridianhero  @alishii @rv19 

@maggiecc 

✨ 🌙 ✨

“There sat a Crescent Moon on her forehead”

“Here you go, it’s rosehip tea, make sure you drink it while it’s hot, that way you won’t end up with a cold” the man you now know as Midoryia Izuku hands over a steaming mug.

“Thank you so much for your help, I’m new around here…I…well I wasn’t sure where to go…I hope I’m not causing you too much trouble” your voice is quiet compared to the storm beating against the walls outside. The change of clothes he’d given you were soft on your skin, the well worn fabric held a fading lilac scent, as did the quilt set beside you. The hot tea goes down easily, a soothing warmth spreads from your fingers to the tips of your toes. “You aren’t causing me any trouble at all I promise, I had planned on returning to the capital city for the celebration, but I’m sure it was postponed due to this sudden change of weather” the green haired man replied as he adds a couple more logs to the fire burning in the grate.

“Celebration?” You ask, intrigued despite the sleepiness washing over you. Izuku nods as he prods the newly added logs with a poker, “One of my most treasured friends has finally found the one he wants to share his life with, to be honest with you a majority of people never thought he’d marry someone because of his harsh personality but…the few of us that know him well knew that was a lie” he’s smiling again as firelight danced in reflection of his emerald eyes. You had set your now empty cup off to the side, silently stretching out across the couch and snuggling up beneath the warm blanket. Content to sit in silence as your host got caught up in cherished memories, you were sleeping soundly in minutes. Eventually when Midoryia did resurface from memory lane, his face burned red with embarrassment as he realized he’d forgotten you were here with him! “I’m sorry y/n! I spaced out, how rude of me! I was going to tell you that you could rest in the bedroom if you like, I’m fine with the couch-“ Izuku abruptly shuts up when he notices you were asleep.

“She must have been exhausted…poor thing”

Quietly, he tip toes over to grab your empty mug, deciding to fill it with water incase you woke up thirsty. While kneeling down to pick it up, the firelight sparkles across something that draws his eye immediately. 

A crescent moon.

A golden crescent moon, on your forehead…a shaky finger briefly runs across it, that was real, no make up to smudge away.

With wide eyes, the now startled man bolts from his den and into the kitchen.

You! But how?!

Why?!

Oh goddess!

How could you have found your way here?! Weren’t you supposed to be with Kaachan?! Oh no what if you had run away?!

Scarred hands tangled themselves in green curls as he tired to wrap his now frazzled mind around this discovery; Kaachan’s runaway bride being found here in that damn Deku’s study!

I’m a dead man walking!

“It’s gotta be a mistake, it can’t really be her…yeah of course it isn’t her…she’s miles away from here, back in the capital where she’s supposed to be” a chuckle escapes  between his manic muttering as the deflating man lowers himself to the floor. Izuku’s shoulders sag with relief after convincing himself it was a simple case of mistaken identity. Leaning back against the cabinets, his eyes momentarily close and a relieved sigh blows across his chapped lips. Only for them to fly open once more as a loud knock suddenly echoed from the front door of the cabin, making the alchemist yelp in response.

Getting to his now shaking legs, he peeks down the hall and listens for any sign you had woken up.

Silence follows, only to be disturbed by the now continuous knocking.

Forcing one foot infront of the other until he stands at the door, the terrified man forces himself to open it. The happy face of Kirishima greets him, “Hey there Midoryia! Sorry to just drop in on ya like this, thank goodness you weren’t back at the capital already”.

“Are you gonna let us in? It’s fucking pouring out here dammit!”

Bakugou’s snarling voice puts the fear of god into Izuku as he jumps aside to let the two soaked men in.

“Oh uh hey there Kaachan, Kirishima…what brings you two out here? Thought you’d be back at the castle, you know…to celebrate-“

“Ain’t nothing to fucking celebrate”

Yep, he’s most definitely a dead man.

Katsuki wrings out his cape on the doorstep before slamming the door shut, just as he does so, Izuku returns with a couple towels he’d grabbed from the linen closet.

“Thanks man” says Ejiro, flashing fangs with a smile “That storm hit outta nowhere as we were flying back, his majesty over here insisted we keep flying through it, until he almost got his wing zapped that is”.

The aforementioned male didn’t reply to the jab taken at him as he dried his hair off. The other two men looked at each other, the green haired male looking at the red head with evident confusion on his face. “He’s pretty upset”mouthed Kirishima and Midoryia gulps silently before nodding.

“I wanna hang my cape up in front of the fire” the blonde mumbles, noticing the lack there of in the front room’s grate.

“Sure! Let me just grab some of the wood I have in my den!” Izuku exclaims a little too excitedly as he spins on his heel.

“Nah man you don’t gotta do all that, we can just use the one you have going already, right Bakugou?”.

“Oh no it’s okay, I don’t m-“

Deku’s panicked response is drowned out by a gruff “Sure, what the fuck ever, I just want to warm up”. 

The angry Royal starts moving towards the short hallway, and immediately finds his way blocked by the much smaller man, “Really Kaachan, it’s no trouble! We can make a much bigger fire out here, the one in the den can only be small because of all my flammable materials-“.

“Oh shut it would you!” Growls the already frustrated monarch, “Otherwise there will be a far greater threat to your stupid materials than a goddamn fireplace”. After the threat had been made, Katsuki makes to move past the annoying bastard blocking his path. Only for said bastard to side step, effectively blocking his way again. Izuku internally cringes at the sudden ire that lights up in the hellfire eyes glaring daggers at him. Even Kirishima fights off the urge to shudder as the energy inside the cabin shifts drastically.

“Get.out.of.my.way.Deku” the bigger man’s intimidating voice starts off quietly.

“Listen Kaachan-“ the smaller man at least tries to reason with the other, but is cut off.

“You’re acting real fucking brazen nerd, too bad that today really was the wrong day for you to grow a pair” taking a step closer Bakugou puffs out his chest as he sneers down at Deku.

“Look it was an accident really, I didn’t know! I-“ a startled cry escapes the green haired man as a sparking fist takes hold of his shirt collar.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You don’t know shit! Oh I get it…You think its funny don’t you? Funny that she ran away afraid of me?! Go ahead and laugh! GO AHEAD AND LAUGH I FUCKING DARE YOU!” Snarls shifted into screams as the dragon shifter lifts his prey off it’s feet. The tight fisted grip singed the fabric of the shirt it held. Just as Kirishima springs into action to separate his friends, fast footsteps come racing from down the hall. They were immediately followed by a frightened, but still demanding, feminine sounding shriek, “STOP!!!”.  

All three men froze, each set of their respective eyes moving to locate the source of the shout. It didn’t take long for them to all locate you, half your body still hidden in shadow of the dark hallway.

A/N: I know this was short, but I still have two full chapters already finished (& much longer) and one partially completed 🥰 All the praise I received over the story this far is incredible & always deeply appreciated ❤️‍🔥

[inthewychelm]

Steddie Week: Day one - Mystery @steddie-week

wordcount:1047

The bell above the door dinged, but Eddie thinks it might as well be useless considering how the two employees behind the counter didn’t even acknowledge it. 

“Alright! Fine!” Robin huffed, pulling away from Steve's hand where he’s clearly been messing up her hair. “You can keep your secrets, dingus!”

Steve smirked at her, probably satisfied in getting her to drop something. Eddie laughed at their little display, he thinks they’re lucky that Family Video appears to be having a slow day. Not that ever stops them from having a heated debate during rush hour; Eddie had been very tempted to commandeer the breakroom microwave for some popcorn, instead he just stole some raisinets.

Despite not hearing the doorbell, they did hear him laugh. Both heads snapped in his direction, Eddie was slightly terrified by the response. Robin had a manic expression of glee, which Eddie knew was not for him but at the expense of Steve’s own expression of horror. But as much as he pitied Steve in this moment, Eddie was curious.

“Hello, kind fellows. What’s this I hear of secrets?” Eddie tripped over to the counter, landing with his elbows propped up on the surface. In the hopes of brushing it off as somewhat intentional, he places his head in hands staring wide-eyed up at them. 

“Eddie!” Steve shouted, voice tinged with something he can’t quite pick out. “Hi- we got that new…horror flick you wanted?” 

Eddie’s brow ticked up as Steve’s voice ended in question. He’s trying to figure out how to address Steve’s update-slash-question, when Robin interrupts. 

“Steve won’t tell me any of the details,” Robin pouted. “But I’m pretty sure that he’s planning a date.”

Date? A date?! Eddie knows Steve is a catch and someone is bound to catch his eye. But Eddie-- Not that Eddie had seriously considered he would ever have a chance with Steve. Sure, he had hoped that his romantic efforts might be swayed in Eddie’s direction and it had certainly felt like there was something building between them. So, it struck him to the core hearing that Steve might have a date planned. 

“No, nope!” Steve began dramatically flailing his arms, reminiscent of Robin’s awkwardness. 

Robin ducked out of his reach when he attempted to cover her face. “Found him daydreaming while writing out ideas on one of the store’s order forms.” 

Eddie couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped at Robin’s spirit fingers despite the wobbly smile he was forcing. He hummed in interest, conflicted between wanting this direction of conversation to end and digging up more information on his competition.

“And what are these brilliant plans Stevie concocted?” Eddie crooned at a flushed Steve, who was looking upwards like he might be praying for the ground to open up and swallow him. Or maybe not that specifically, this was still Hawkins afterall so who knew how long it would be until that happened again. 

“Nothin-” Steve muttered.

“No clue! All I saw was ‘picnic at S.R.’, which I assume means Skull Rock, and ‘mixtape with three question marks’. There was definitely more but dingus here crumbled it up before I could read any of it.” Robin interrupted then punched Steve lightly at the end of her revelation. “And he refuses to tell me who this mystery girl is.”

“A mixtape? Oh, he must be serious about this mystery date.” Steve flushed further at Eddie’s teasing. He said nothing to deny it, which crushed Eddie’s heart further. 

Eddie heard the bell ring again behind him. Steve immediately jumped for the chance at a real distraction as he greeted the customer. 

“Hi! Welcome to Family Video,” Steve had a bit of a frenzied tone in his voice that Eddie doubted the stranger picked up on. “Robin here will help you if you need any assistance.”

Steve’s luck must have been turning in his favor as the customer insisted Robin direct her to a specific aisle. The two appeared to have a silent argument before Robin got stuck recommending movies to a seemingly very picky customer. 

Steve slumped forward dramatically, leaning into Eddie’s space. Eddie allowed himself a small respite to admire the way Steve’s lashes touched his cheeks and how he appeared to relax in Eddie’s orbit. 

“So, I’m curious about this mystery date that you’re tryin’ to keep under wraps.” Eddie would blame his sadist nature for asking Steve about his affections. “I’m almost offended you’ve not mentioned this before, here I thought we were forging an unbreakable bond.”

“Don’t need to tell you if you already know.” Steve mumbled as he rolled his eyes. Already know? Eddie’s eyes bug out for a second as he ponders when Steve mentioned this mystery girl. Because he would’ve remembered the all consuming jealousy he struggled to keep inside, much like this exact moment. 

“Must be pretty special. But y’know you can always pick my brain for ideas if you wanted.” Eddie tried not to choke on the words as they came out. 

“Yeah, they’re real special.” Steve whispered as he held eye contact. Eddie breathed sharply when Steve’s arm settled against his own. Maybe he was wrong…or right? “Just feel like…if we get one night, that things will finally…y’know.”

“Well, can’t go wrong with a mix. It speaks to the heart, no matter the genre.” He was testing the waters, Steve seemed to be focused on his words. Eddie felt like he was damning his heart to be broken. “And as cool as Skull Rock is, I’d probably plan something a little more…romantic.”

“Gotcha.” Steve was grinning again. “So more like candle lit dinner, maybe pot roast then dessert?”

“That’s more like it, Stevie.” Eddie clapped in support. He was starting to get the urge to run. Part of him was bursting with hope, because it sounded like Steve making plans with him rather than asking for advice. He was struggling figuring out what to believe, so he decided to give into his desire to flee. “Anyway, gotta get back. See’ya later!”

Steve’s own farwell trailed after him, though he only caught him saying Eds which his mind replayed the whole drive back to the trailer. When he finally dropped onto the couch, all he could think about was how excited Steve looked about his plans. 

[bookshelf-dust]

can u pleaaaasseeeeee write something rly cute w patrick and reader where she takes care of him:((( maybe after the match where tashi gets injured he doesn't know where to go and he goes to her, and she comforts him and yk. like i just wanna give him a hug so bad

patrick zweig x fem!reader

word count: 1,208

warnings: a little swearing, overwhelmed/frustrated patrick, reader tries to straighten him out but also make him feel better, fluff (i can’t think of anything else)

a/n: hii baby!! i don’t usually take requests, but i loved this idea too much to let it slip away!!! i turned it into a little baby fic for you, and left it so you can interpret reader and patrick’s relationship however you’d like. and i made sure to give him that big big hug!! it takes place right after art and tashi tell patrick to get the fuck out lol. thank you for sharing this idea with me and i hope you enjoy it!!! <33

————

“I didn’t go to the match.” 

Patrick says your name desperately, like he needs you to make this better somehow. You don’t have the heart to tell him this is out of your wheelhouse. 

The man is pacing, fingers weaving in between his knotted curls and tugging at them, making his hair greasier by the minute. He’s sweaty, wearing a shirt you thought belonged to Tashi. In truth, his manic state is making you dizzy. 

“You didn’t go?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest. You sink further into the couch cushions. 

“No. I fucked off after we fought and—” 

“And,” you finish for him, “now the headlines are blowing up because Tashi fucking Duncan’s been injured and might’ve just jeopardized her entire career.” 

Patrick kicks the base of the oversized chair you keep in the corner of your living room. “Fuck!” he shouts. 

You stand up quick enough to make your vision blur, but ignore it. “Hey! Shithead! Don’t go fuckin’ with my furniture.” 

He raises his hands, his cheeks flushed. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—

“No, you shouldn’t. Now sit your pretty ass down and tell me why you’re so panicked. I don’t have time for minced words.”

Patrick sits down. He watches as you lean over the side of the couch, the soft leather creaking, your oversized pajama shirt riding up to reveal cotton shorts. He realizes with a start that you’d settled in for the night when he barged in. 

Being hit in the stomach with a ball snaps him out of his reverie. “There,” you say. “Squeeze that instead of hurting my shit.” He looks down at the stress ball in his hands and sits in the chair he’d just brutalized. 

He’s quiet for a few more minutes, and you’re just about to say his name when he speaks. 

“I told Tashi I didn’t want to be her groupie. I don’t even know why I said it, I-I just got fed up with planning everything around her tournaments and Art’s at fucking Stanford and I…I just think I’m pretty damn good at tennis too…right? When will it be my turn to be number one?”

Your brow creases. “If you didn’t go to the game, how’d you know she got injured so fast?”

That’s not what Patrick was expecting you to say, but he supposes it’s a valid question. He’s not used to having someone be so assertive with him. But maybe that’s why you work. 

“I, uh, I went down to apologize, and you know word spreads pretty fast about that shit, so when I heard someone talking about her knee, I just started walking. And then Tashi and Art were in the infirmary, and obviously she’d told him what I’d said and they both—”

He’s rambling, and you’re not sure he’s taken a proper breath at all since he got here. “Patrick.” You stop him before he keels over on your rug. “Come sit over here with me.”

He does what you say because he can’t form a single coherent thought and instructions sound really nice. 

“You stood up for yourself, alright? That’s okay. I’m sure Tashi did the same. I’m sure you both said things you didn’t mean. But…it’s not any of my business.” You pause. 

You love Patrick. He's one of the few people you’ve been able to connect with and never worry about where you stand or whether they’ll be there for you if you’re in deep shit. And right now you just want to be a neutral party. He never worries about things going wrong like this, and then he’s never prepared and can’t handle it.

You inhale and continue. Patrick’s eyes are glued to your face, taking in every feature and waiting desperately for you to give him the lifeline he needs. He looks young and scared, and pleading. 

“You have to give Tashi some space. She’s a strong woman, a total badass, but this is fucking huge, Patrick, y’know? Don’t overwhelm her any more. Give Art some time too, okay? If you go to them now it’s gonna be a shit show.”

He nods, his eyes bordering dangerously on the edge of becoming watery. All he hears is alone, alone, alone. Patience is not his strong suit. 

“It’s not your fault Tashi got injured, Patrick. It’s just bad timing. You never could’ve known she’d get hurt a few hours after you ripped her a new one.”

He snorts. He knows you’re trying to make him feel better. And what else did he come over here for? 

“I know,” he finally says. “I just got so pent up, and admittedly I’ve been a dick lately, but I don’t know what to do.”

You shrug, a little smile appearing on your face. “So don’t be a dick.”

Patrick blinks at you. “Don’t be a dick?”

“Yeah, don’t be a massive dick and don’t let yours control your decisions either, Zweig.” He almost protests, but you hold up a hand. “You know I’m right. For now, just focus on doing your job, and it will all sort itself out.”

He lets out a low laugh and starts shaking his head. He can’t believe this is his life right now. Honestly he should though, because of course it’d wind up being a shit show after such a good streak. 

“Patrick?”

The gentle tone of your voice snaps him out of his reverie. He finds your gaze with impressive speed. “Hm?”

“Would you like to lay down? We could—

“Yes.” Patrick sits up on his knees, eyes shining and waiting for whatever embrace you’ll give him. 

Without speaking, you lay down on your side with your spine pressed to the back of the couch. Patrick lays down next to you so quickly you think he might’ve gotten whiplash, and buries his face in your collarbones. He tucks one hand under his cheek and wraps the other one around your waist. You let him rest his temple on your arm and hug him close to you.

“It’s all gonna work out, okay, sweetheart? I’ll be here when the shit hits the fan.”

He looks up at you. “And when it doesn’t?”

“I’ll still be here anyway. You don’t ever have to suffer alone.”

Patrick lets out a little laugh. “You’ll suffer with me?”

You scratch at the base of his scalp with your nails. “Of course. I love suffering with you, Mr. Zweig.”

Patrick smiles, amazed at how he landed you for a best friend. You’ve never judged him a day in your life, even when he’s made the shittiest of all decisions and pushed everyone else away. 

He lowers his head and burrows back into the warmth of your embrace. “Me too,” he mumbles. 

“And Patrick? I just want you to know that you are fucking stellar at tennis. You’re great, and you’re talented, and you don’t need validation from anyone else to recognize that. But if it helps, you’re always number one in my heart.”

He squeezes you, closing his eyes so he doesn’t cry because you’re being so sweet. You give him tough love, but that’s what he needs. 

“Thank you,” he says. And he means it. He believes what you’re saying, and he realizes he always has. 

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33