#when I say go ham w the scars I mean go HAM

[monsterhugger]

this is peak male character design btw

[limetameta]

been thinking abt my fmab hunger games au all day and its so convoluted lmao

So there's three timelines we gotta explain right away

First timeline:

Riza Hawkeye won a la guns (in this au u get weapons and can use alchemy) thus became the victor for her district (like the equivalent of district 12 but i cant be bothered to have 24 ppl in a cast therefore we splitting this as arakawa intended- east district)

Second timeline:

Edward Elric was reaped. Al could not volunteer because he knew that if the capitol (aka central) ppl find out about his body theyd not only punish him but theyd probably also kill ed for comitting the taboo

Now!

It's WINRY who volunteers for some random girl because she is eds mechanic!! And he can't survive out there without her!! She is doing this for you Ed!

Riza is their haymitch. Roy Mustang, exists in this au but I'm torn between two routes for him

He's like a Gale character for Riza but the reason why he didn't volunteer to be alongside Riza for her HG was because he was too old by that point. Riza was like 18 when she got reaped.

Roy Mustang is a capitol boy who is the main schmoozing bitch that gets riza all her sponsors because that woman has 0 rizz. Effie but a man whore.

Ed and Winry win much alike Katniss and Peeta do in the first HG. I don't care for this. My fic would start with the 2nd quarter quell when all of the previous winners gotta fight.

Third timeline:

Winry gets chosen for the 75th HG. Riza steps up for her. They know she won't be this lucky again how she was last time.

Ed is the only East District male tribute.

Reason why riza stepped up is because these hunger games are going to be a bloodbath.

Olivier and Alex Armstrong will he competing. And they're careerists. (See this is where it gets kinda weird how to plan because if I have Central be capitol then that means we can't have Armstrong in this but which district would I put them in if I can't have this- lmao Olivier and Miles as North District tributes maybe - Miles may have volunteered for Alex because Alex came out of his HG completely traumatised (much alike in ishval))

Comanche and Izumi from the south district (also careerists or just built like that lmao)

And that just leaves us with the West District

This random boy gets reaped but oh! Oh! Don't worry - because there's someone who REALLY wants back in that arena! The one and only Crimson Lotus (that man would RELISH in all of the fanfare and the centre of attention he'd play the game very well and would always be like: no fair, why are we doing this w kids we should invent a new hg for us :/ (lmaooo a sponsor sent him a ph stone during his initial hg could u believe that and then he went ham thatd be so funny honestly)

Anyway Sheska is the female tribute because plot reasons.

Ishval is its own district let's say and we get Scar (volunteered for his brother in his first games and now is the only male tribute from the Victors)

I guess an OC there aren't a lot of female characters to choose from.

Anyway I love my pandemonium *kicks legs* it'd be so fucked up especially because I have ideas how to nerf the alchemists to make them more equal with the regulars when they're running for that cornucopia.

[littlemessyjessi]

How They’d Be As Mukbangers:  Harry Potter Characters

How They'd Be As YouTube Mukbangers

James: Every video has a theme.   Like, I'm not even playing.   Holidays?  All kinda of holiday themed food.  Quidditch World Cup coming up?   Things inspired by the country of his favorite team.   Just a random day?  Everything is blue.   He's that type of way.

Sirius:  If a mukbanger was a thirst trap.  I could easily see him really getting into.  Dark background, black gloves, aesthetic as fuck and like, he doesn't even talk.  He just sits there, looks hot and somehow makes eating looking incredibly sexy.  And he fucking knows it.   Bitch also one hundred percent rolls his eyes back when it hits his taste buds.  Licks his lips and his fingers.  Takes way too big of bites.   Most people would say it's cringy how sexual his videos are...but everyone is secret subscribed anyway.  With notifications on.

Remus:  This goes one of two ways.  If he's in a good mood and things are chill, he'll find a recipe, make it to the mother fucking 't' and then have a little mukbang slash review on said recipe.  Nice lil chat.  Sweet tol bean.   Precious. If it's near the full moon there ain't none of that.  Ya boy, brings in his monstrous plate of food, sits it down and just tears into like a fucking beast, no talking.  Just nom nom nom.  Unintentionally thirst traps and people opening talk about when Remus goes beast mode.  

Peter:  Candy and sweets channel! Small mukbangs with reviews from different candies from Honeydukes!

Lily:  Lol, Lilypad.  She ain't playing around.  Her videos are planned out, edited and just generally finessed to perfection.  Even had music added to it with tiny vlog segments as it's set up.  It's a little pretentious but she does have a good following.

Marlene:   This bitch.  Fucking competitive eating queen.  Tiny ass lil ho can eat you under the table, bro.   Think RainaIsCrazy on YouTube.  She can fucking smash.  Usually does eating challenges from different resteraunts and competitions.  Often, challenges Remus on his wild days.   He's a beast but she still wipes the floor with him.  

Dorcas:  The collab.  Dorcas always has good food and good company.  She's all about sharing a meal with someone and talking about random things.

Alice and Frank:  The couple channel.  It's generally filled with so much fucking cute and the food is always tasty.  It's sickening they feed each other but you also can't help but awww.

Molly Prewett/Weasley:   Family recipes.   Molly's channel are tried and true recipes from the Prewett family.  Cook with me and tons of kitchen life hacks.  Also, that woman can turn a ham sandwhich into a full course meal. Bet.   Always taste tested by Daddy Weasley.  Yes, I said Daddy Weasley.  

Lucius Malfoy:  The most pretentious fucking channel to ever exist.  It's a whole fucking production that admittedly he does put a lot of work into.   Somewhat thirst trappy like Sirius' but instead of just having a plain black background he goes out of his way to shove as much of his manor into.   Only eats the most expensive food fucking on the planet and of course, it's prepared by House elves cause he's a twit.  (Yes, I know this is Thranduil but honestly wouldn’t put it past Lucius to be this fucking pretentious.) 

Severus Snape:  Actually pretty solid content.  His exquisite skills in potions actually made him a rather good chef.   Tasteful shots, edited well with music over everything and subtitles.   Simply audio for the eat portion at the end.  Nothing too fancy for the background.  Often just a very clean kitchen. Solid content though.

The Black Sisters: Mass chaos.  Part vlog, part drama channel, half the time the food never even gets finished because of fights.  

Bill Weasley:  The Traveler.   A lot of egyptian food.  Some made by hand.  Some vlogs from street food while he's out just generally doing his job.   Short videos but solid.  He's hot and he picks good food.  It works for him.

Charlie Weasley:  This extra ass bitch.  He's the bitch that does all that outdoor cooking.  You know what I mean.   Shots in the woods, roaring fire.  Lit by a precious dragon child no doubt.  Dragons lounging in the background like those bitches who always have their dogs there.  Yes, I'm jealous.  Close up shots of him cutting things on a custom wood cutting board. Everything he makes causes your mouth to water.  God damn, scarred, freckle faced bastard just gobbles it up and ends every fucking video with a wink.   Charlie Weasley is the ultimate thirst trap and he fucking knows it.

Percy:  Percy's channel could be epic but instead is boring as fuck.  Why?  Because he insist on having the most snooze worthy meals that are 'sensible' and THEN he proceeds to talk about politics.   He actually had a pretty decent following of other like minded individuals but my god- politics and porridge, Percy?  Really?

However, once he chills the fuck out, leaves the ministry to do something else - it’s a game changer.  Brings the family on for mukbangs.  Does videos with mummy weasley.  Percy grows his hair out and Bill teases him for being a copy cat.  Much better.  Still talks politics but it’s fucking hiliarous and now the food is poppin. 

Fred and George:  Alright, this shit right here.   Every fucking bit of it is a self promo for the shop.  Meals inspired by and that would go well paired with 'this product'.  Like, that's the whole thing.  And then they run an add for their shop at the end featuring the product.  It works for them because they're smart, they're hot and they're also wildly entertaining with their constantly sibling squabbling. But yeah.  Big promo for the shop.

Ron Weasley: Honestly, out of everyone.   Ron probably has the most followers and it's because he doesn't say shit while he's eating. He sits down with a massive fucking turkey.  Nods at the camera and just tears it up.   It's literally so satisfying.  All the food is prepared by his mother.  So it's obviously fantastic. ( I just had to use this gif.) 

Ginny:   Gin's channel is usually team building videos with the Harpies.  'Cheat Day: Vlog and Mukbang w/the Harpies' type of vibes.  It's cool though and since it's a famous quidditch team the fans enjoy the behind the scenes action and actually drop all kinds of recipes for them to try in the future.

Hermione:  Hermione could easily veer off into Percy's channel of misery when she gets started on her rants but mostly they're really chill videos.  Mukbang and Book Review type of vibe.  Or sometimes even the playing of an audio book while she does her thing.  All in all, wholesome.

Harry:  Lol, I swear.  Fucking awkward bean.   Harry's videos are literally of him making the simplest of things and being so fucking awkward. "Er, well, hi guys.  So I'm about to head out for work.  Running a bit late.  But we're having a bit of toast and jam."  Like it's literally just little videos of him eating whatever throughout the day.  But of course, since he's Harry Fucking Potter- his follower count is astronomical.  

Neville:  Now, this boy.  This boy is a goblincore gobbo's wet dream.  Gardening videos with homegrown veg.  Recipes from Grandmother.   Have a nice Veggie Pot Pie with Professor Longbottom in the Hogwarts Greenhouse.  There is a fanbase and it is huge.  

Luna: Honestly, the weirdest fucking channel in the world.  Like she finds the weirdest things to eat and goes from there.  But Luna is bae so it's cool.  Also, a thousand percent does Smoke Sesh + Mukbang videos.  You know it's true.

Dean and Seamus:  Literally, eating in the most crowded pubs as they visit football games around the country.  Seamus will definitely pull the Irish card from time to time to have a drinking competition.  He wins everytime.  He may be a little dude but shit- homie can hold his own.

Cedric:  Honestly, it's so fucking pure.   Straight up did videos during his time at Hogwarts in the Hogwarts kitchen.  Such kind little conversations with the house elves.  "Hey, guys.  Thanks for coming back to another video.  Today we're making some really tasty biscuits.  Whispy, one of the talented bakers here in the kitchens, is here to help us today so please say hello to her in the comments."  He'll also always make extra and leave them in the Hufflepuff common room for everyone to enjoy.  Like, it's honestly so pure and he's such a soft boi and oh my fucking geeeeeeerrrrrrdddd!!!!!

Draco: Actually takes it really seriously and put a lot of hard work into it.   Nothing like his father's ego-tistical recipes.   Surprisingly, every. single. recipe. is a muggle recipe.  How would he know?  Because he cross referenced with Granger of course.  Cooks it himself.   No magic.  Lots of random talks.  Just like a monologue of things and it gets kinda deep sometimes.   Like, it's the channel to go to when you need advice that you didn't even know that you needed.   Still eats incredibly proper.   It's that pureblood raising of his.  Old habits die hard.

Tonks:  Pure chaos.  "Hey, today we're having Mum's homemade lasagna and I'm also getting a new tattoo.  Might dye my hair.  Don't really need to since I can do this  but whatever. So yeah, there's that.  Like it's just all over the place and you'd think it would take but the chaos is too good not to watch.  Literally gives herself beaks and snouts while she eats.  It's iconic.

Dumbledore: Mother fucker just sits at his desk, stares straight into the camera and eats a lemon drop.  Like a weirdo.  The video usually no more than a minute and each video is just some variation of that.  Meme lord.

Hagrid:  Tea With Hagrid.  Also, so the recipes suck, they too, but Hagrid is a peach and it's relaxing to see his gentle half giant there in his hut, pumpkin patch out the window and Fang laying by the fire.  It's a mood and he's just like the comforting Dad figure. 

McGonagall:  Honestly the best one in the entire world.  She makes a full course traditional Scottish breakfast... and then transforms into her animagus the cat...and promptly knocks it off the table.   A fucking legend.

------------------------------

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Love, Kenny

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Love, Kenny

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 10: Sweet Beans AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/66411679 What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - The digital clock on the wall said 4:36 PM. 

 Gordon was laying on the futons in the living room, limbs lazily stretched out and staring at the ceiling. Most members of the Science Team were currently preparing dinner in the kitchen, supervised by Joshua.

 The past few days had been... certainly something. It felt like he had attempted speedrunning several different things at the same time because there was an unsettling feeling of time running out fast for something if he didn't. 

 He knew that was his anxiety. The feeling of too little time for anything, his thoughts running 88 miles per hour, sending him down rabbit holes of thoughts and worries. Especially, since his last job for Black Mesa had him mess up his medication schedule during his time in the simulation. He was slowly getting back to what he considered his personal normal state... and it was honestly a relief. 

 Gordon turned his head to the side, acknowledging Benrey, who was sitting beside him on a pillow, Gordon's injured arm gently laying on his open palms as he was applying a new layer of healing sweetvoice to it. 

His arm was significantly better now. Still sensitive to touch, but all in all healing. Though he had to admit that the scars that had been forming in the process were... unique. 

 The edge of where the mess started was more akin to what he had expected - lighter coloured slightly bumpy lines & patches where the skin had been damaged. 

 But the area where it had been an open wound? That's where it looked... unusual. It looked like a protective layer of flesh & skin had formed where it shouldn't have without a proper surgery. The skin there was just as light as the scarring on the edge... but it felt new. Sensitive. And a certain amount of weird because... well, this simply wasn't what a human body would do on its own during a healing process.

 Then again... his body had been getting help with the whole thing-

 Gordon closed his eyes and let out a soft hum, almost harmonizing with Benrey holding a steady note beside him, as the cool sweetvoice hit his arm. 

 He hadn't really had the time to ponder over the fact that he was sharing his apartment with several non-humans... but laying on a comfy futon, having to hold still and wait for Benrey to be done sweetvoicing at him - yeah, that sounded like a good time as any.

 Well, until he noticed that Benrey stopped singing. He opened one eye, seeing Benrey looking at him with a questioning look on his face, his head slightly tilted to the left.

 "Yo, you gonna space out on me with 'em big thoughts?", Benrey asked.

 Gordon chuckled at that. 

 "I told you once and I'll tell you again - your sweetvoice is good. Helpful and... just really relaxing. Helps my brain shut up about the painful shit and lets me focus on things I actually want to think about. Can't help it, my dude.", he said with a shrug and a soft smile.

 "Huh.", was all Benrey said, keeping eye contact with Gordon.

 The human in question blinked up at the guard.

 "If you want... I can tell you my thoughts while you do... uh... the healing thing? No need to reply to me, just... I don't know, me rambling for a bit?"

 Now it was Benrey's turn to blink - and to Gordon's surprise similarly to a lizard, an eye-lid-like part of eyes closing over them sideways.

 "... that's so fucking cool...", Gordon whispered in awe, staring at Benrey with wide eyes.

 "Whu- What?"

 "The thing your eyes do when you blink! I... I guess I was never close enough to actually notice it. It just looks cool, is all I'm saying."

 "W-Wow, Gordon Flirtman here trying to butter me up with the compliments?"

 Despite his quick retort, Benrey visibly turned a shade darker and averted his eyes, letting out a few pink orbs of sweetvoice before returning to the healing teal.

 Gordon let out an amused huff, resting his free arm behind his head and looking back at the ceiling.

 "Look, I just appreciate all the cool non-human things you and the others can do. I... I don't know how much of it was just part of the simulation and what you can do now that you're free again... but it's simply exciting to me!"

 He heard a slightly deeper-pitched tone coming from Benrey, somehow making him feel like it was okay to continue talking.

 "So many terrifying things crawled out of the Breach over the past years... all with the goal to destroy and to conquer. The Kaiju and every other creature related to them were all I had for reference for non-human beings for a long time. Aside from Joshua, of course, but you get what I mean."

 Benrey let out a few notes that sounded similar to a soft "Uh-huh". 

Gordon continued. 

 "But as scary as you guys think you are... and as you can be-"

 Gordon turned his head towards Benrey once more.

 "- Thank you for being you. Silly, obnoxious, chaotic and kind. And for showing me that not everything you can find beyond portals and in shady labs is something I should fear forever. That I needed to learn to listen and learn, again. To understand. To actually be the kind of scientist I always wanted to be."

 They sat there for a while, Benrey laser-focused on Gordon's arm, a few stray orbs of sweetvoice remaining in the air between them as he eventually closed his mouth.

 "I did a good... thing? By being- uh, me?", Benrey eventually stuttered out, still gently holding Gordon's arm in his hands. 

 Gordon nodded.

 "No one told you to apologize to me after everything - even when I told you not to worry- but you did so anyway and on your own accord. Not to mention you are actively helping me heal physically since the moment you guys found me."

 He reached over, resting his hand on Benrey's knee.

 "You may not be human, Benrey... but you are a person who tries to make up for the things they fucked up. And that's a good thing, in my book."

 Benrey's brows were furrowed as he slowly nodded.

 "I'm.... n-not a bad guy? All the time?"

 "You're a menace with Gremlin energy at worst, at this point."

 That made Benrey snort, Gordon laughing softly in return. 

 "Uh, feed me snacks 24/7 and I'll be the greatest cool!", Benrey added with a grin.

 "That's not how Gremlins work!", Gordon wheezed, moving his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to keep himself from breaking out into loud laughter.

 "Only got the energy, bro. Am not small or fuzzy... right now."

 Gordon slowly sat up, intrigued by the implications of those last two words. He opted to sit cross-legged, radiating curiosity and excitement as his hand was drumming away on his thigh.

 "Shapeshifting... Shapeshifting!! Okay, okay! Tell me when I get too personal with my questions but... uh... you can change your appearance not just in size? Holy shit man, that's... that's WILD!"

 Benrey stared at Gordon with wide eyes for a second, taken off-guard by the man's excitement for his more out-there powers. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously - something he had observed Gordon doing sometimes and added to his own mannerisms. 

 "Yeah, uh, character creation ain't perma-locked. Can access that anytime I want. Makes me tired when I do it too much... but it's cool.", he said, then looking somewhat unsure- "Would you... be a big cool with me doing that? Around here? SMALL WAYS! N-No big Benny. Just... feel comfy here. To do that, I mean."

 Gordon smiled at that, reaching over to place a hand on Benrey's shoulder. 

 "Dude, as long as you don't go full horror and accidentally scare the shit out of any of us, go ahead. I don't know... what you have in mind with "small ways"... but I am curious, so... go ham."

 "You sure? Is right now okay?"

 "Uh... if you want, yeah!"

 Gordon was about to remove his hand to give Benrey some space, but within the blink of an eye Benrey's hands looked... almost paw-like. His fingertips ended in dull claws, while the skin on his hands had a slight gradient to them, reminding Gordon of the ever-present shadow on Benrey's face. He let out a soft gasp-

 "Holy SHIT?!- Let me see?? Can I touch them?"

 "Huh? Ain't nothing fancy, but sure."

 Gordon mirrored Benrey's previous gentleness with his arm as he now carefully took one of Benrey's hands (paws?) in his own.

 "Wow...", Gordon breathed, slowly turning it over-

"HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE BEANS????? PAW BEANS?"

 Benrey let out a crackle at that but nodded. 

 "Sometimes, 'cause it makes stuff easier. Climbing and holding shit and all that. Got that perfect gamer grip."

 "..."

 Benrey tilted his head at Gordon's sudden silence. 

 "Uh... ?"

 Gordon looked up from staring at Benrey's hand, the biggest smirk on his face. 

 "So... you got paw beans."

 "Y-Yeah?"

 "Which means you also have toe beans-"

 "What you talking about Feetm-"

 "Beanrey."

 "Wha-"

 "BEANREY!"

 "NO!", Benrey exclaimed through already starting to laugh, as Gordon fell back on the futon wheezing, barely managing out a "YES!" in reply.

[fountainpenguin]

FOP Scenes That Always Make Me Lose My Mind

No matter how many times I watch them.

Vicky staring as a hospital bed transforms into a robot and remarking, “Wow, that’s one cool bed.”

Mark describing the scars Vicky has given him as “love markings” and listing where and why he got each one.

Wanda hiding under the table while she checks Da Rules to see if it’s illegal for her to murder Timmy’s parents after they tormented her and Cosmo at dinner (and sighing when it is).

Timmy’s parents waiting for C and W to come out from under said table, deciding they’re dead, and scrambling off to “establish an alibi.”

“Well, if your math is as good as Dad’s spelling, I may have turned 21 for all you know!” // “You can make fun of my math skills until it’s 13:00, but you do NOT act like a smarty pants!”

A.J. tackling Chester away from a laser, explaining his parents set it up, and Chester saying “But your parents love me” followed by dead silence.

“Slow down, Hunchback-of-Never-Dated-a-Dame!”

Cosmo comes flitting by with Poof in a basket and Wanda just flies up to him and says, “Cosmo, where have you been? I got arrested!”

Gary and Betty solving the problem of a crying child by putting him in a soundproof dome and walking away.

Wanda waving at Cosmo from the other side of the street while flying and promptly crashing into a pole.

Cosmo showing up at his mom’s house after eloping 10,000 years ago and all she says is, “Did you get the milk, Cosmo?”

Timmy still having heat vision four seasons later because he never unwished it.

You can’t kill cockroaches with magic.

Mama Cosma kidnapped a crime boss and he was kind of into it

“You sunk the city of Atlantis NINE TIMES??? Where was I when this happened?”

Anti-Cosmo and the Head Pixie baking pizza for Timmy because sometimes they don’t have evil plans and just want attention.

The Head Pixie’s hat is also a pen and the only time we see him use it is when he absolutely had to write down a pun before he forgot.

H.P. unhesitatingly gambling away a magical world because some punk 10-year-old human bragged he could beat him in mini-golf.

Sanderson stripping to his underwear on international Fairy TV.

“Fairies aren’t good with naming things. For crying out loud, we named our kid Poof!”

The Grim Reaper runs the Anti-Fairy World pet store because “Death doesn’t pay the bills and I’ve got student loans.”

ED FREAKING LEADLY ANY TIME HE DOES ANYTHING

Cosmo moving the doorknob to the other side of a door and re-opening it because it didn’t show him what he was looking for the first time.

Cosmo saying “There’s your car,” and straight-up dropping Chet Ubetcha into a volcano because Chet said something mean about him.

Cosmo putting his hands on his hips when he’s mad, then noticing Wanda has her arms crossed and copying her pose instead.

Cosmo’s face when Timmy crawls under his bed and wishes for a toaster and you can just tell he’s questioning if he heard that right.

Cosmo showing Juandissimo to the “room” he can use while staying over before promptly hurling him in the freezer and slamming the door.

Foop legitimately looking confused and hurt when Poof didn’t want to hug him during their playdate (and Poof’s furious face when Foop drags him around by the hand).

Wanda trying to get Poof hyped about Cosmo making a nice family dinner and the dinner is just chicken nuggets.

Crocker’s heart breaking when he accidentally catches Poof in his fairy trap and he lets him go because he is only baby.

Vicky insisting the kids she’s babysitting should tell her she’s pretty and Sammy sobbing because “My mommy told me never to lie!”

Sammy: “This may not sound very sweet, but... Break Vicky like a 2x4!”

Literally every Schnozmo moment

Kevin Crocker: “Your idea is so much better. It’s no biggie. I just kind of wish I was never born.”

“His name is Foop! ... Spelled backwards! <333”

Timmy’s Mom having an entire conversation with him while holding his fish. Not his fishbowl literally just Cosmo in goldfish form.

Cosmo tying Timmy’s Mom up like a marionette, smearing on lipstick, screaming “I’M GORGEOUS!” and promptly dragging her across the floor.

“Pumpkin taxi. Orange on the outside, seedy on the inside.”

Cosmo designing a board game that requires you to get the car you play with registered at the DMV.

Chloe helping Timmy nail Crocker’s bed to the ceiling.

The massive size difference between Kevin’s and Chloe’s hands when she helps him off the floor.

Chloe getting cut off before she can swear.

Timmy standing up for Chloe in front of her parents when she starts having an anxiety attack.

Chloe as a parent upsetting her kids to the point they were assigned fairy godparents and she has to reevaluate her happy-go-lucky life.

The whole concept behind “Timmy’s Secret Wish.”

The implication that Chloe spent fifty years of the frozen timestream raising herself on “Fair Bears” cartoons.

Timmy’s Dad, who has never liked Mr. Crocker, calling him progressively worse names like “Mr. Crayons” and “Mr. Crawlspace.”

“What are you going to do without a house?” // “That’s easy. I wish I had another house.”

Foop’s alternate personality inviting Foop to lunch.

Cosmo pointing out that making someone disappear is sort of illegal and Timmy’s Dad just points out he can’t get arrested if he wishes for the police to disappear and Cosmo just :\

Juandissimo melting Iceland and then glancing awkwardly at the witnesses.

“Scientists are mystified as to why this is happening! In unrelated news, a giant purple baby is blocking the sun.”

Mrs. Crocker hitting on Dr. Rip Studwell and he responds by writing her a prescription for “Get real, lady” and Poof was there for all of this.

Foop designing a play with the plan of tormenting Poof but Poof fakes sick and Foop, his understudy, is forced to endure the horrors of the play while Poof eats popcorn and mocks him the whole time.

"You picked the right square blue baby for the job! I’m super irritating.” “You certainly are.” “You’re the worst.” “Everyone hates you.”

Anti-Cosmo sneaking Foop a file so he can escape prison but Foop doesn’t know what it’s for and just uses it to file his nails.

Wanda breaking into a stranger’s house to do his dishes.

Dark Laser betraying Foop and Crocker when it dawns on him that they were the reckless hooligans who nearly ran over Flipsie.

Timmy’s Dad asking him if he wants to “Come for a ride to get a ham.”

Crocker explaining that his mother’s bird was named “Pile of Goo” even before he accidentally flung it into the sun.

Chloe deadpanning “Oops, I have tripped on my cape” before deliberately shoving Mr. Crocker over.

“Everything is so green here. Even the stoplights!” //Massive crash noises //Cheerful scene change

Timmy literally bulldozing Dinkleberg’s living room and Dinkleberg just “Oh hi, Timmy! No need to explain yourself; I don’t want to pry.”

“I’ll tell you what’s a great comedy word: AUGHAWAGAUGH! Watch me use it in context.” //Poofs up a beehive

“Did you know there are over 250 species of owls in the world? My goal is to see ALL OF THEM! Not just the species, but every. single. owl.”

“I still don’t know where you found six kids with eye patches.”

Foop nervously agreeing with the Anti-Fairy Council, “Yes, that’s what I am, a genius. Not the guy who spent six hours toilet papering a house when in fact he has a magic bottle that could have done it instantly.”

[teruthecreator]

okay now im actually thinking of what kind of character i’d be as a disney villain so im just gonna ramble n shit under the readmore feel free to keep reading if u want to kno Just how sexy of a villain i’d be

okay so i have absolutely not plot thought out for the movie itself, but figuring i sit mainly in the theatrical realm i’ll just say it has something to do with theatre. and maybe it’s set in like the fifties when broadway was starting to gain a resurgence after the war (which isn’t necessarily true, historically, but there was a lot of focus drawn on theatre after the great depression and world war II) and i’m like a Big Actress on broadway. because i gotta be, yknow? the movie aint about me, it’s about some up-and-coming actress working her hardest to make it into the “big lights” 

but me? nah i’m already There, baby! i made it there by hook or by crook (”crook” meaning i literally hired crooks to eliminate my competition so i could make it to stardom) and i Intend to stay there! and i seem really peppy and cheery at first glance, dressed in a lot of yellows and such. i’m famous, but i can be nice, can’t i?*

*i can’t because Hubris 

and the main character ends up at the same audition i do, and we’re both gunning for the lead role because Of Course This Is A Disney Movie. and because it’s a disney movie, the new girl gets the lead role and i get her supporting role. and though i look super excited for the main character on the outside, as soon as she leaves the callsheet the lighting changes to this harsh underlighting as i grimace and tear the callsheet to shreds. this will Not last, oh no babydoll, it won’t. 

so i’m Plotting now, yknow? the main character’s getting all chummy with the lead man (who is her love interest Of Course), and i’m unconcerned with him because i’m a villain which means i’m Gonna be gay-coded (not outwardly bc, again, This Is Disney) but i notice how fond they are for each other. and i just start worming seeds of doubt into the director’s head; whispering that she won’t work out, she’s only in it for the fame not the art, look at her! fifteen minutes late to her first rehearsal! she Clearly can’t be trusted with such an important role!

(she’s fifteen minutes late, mind you, because i told her leads don’t need to come in on calltime. and i also maybe paid some goons to go around and slash a bunch of taxi tires so even if she did want to make it on time she couldn’t. who’s to say for sure, though?) 

but the director is determined to make her work, so i’m ignored, of course. so i start to make More moves; i’m talking sabotaging equipment, telling the lead guy lies that the main character supposedly told me about him, maybe even practicing a kissing scene w the guy that looks Far too real for the unsuspecting main character who just walked into the rehearsal room late at night after the guy asked her out. 

now i know what you’re thinking: michelle, where’s you big musical number? where’s the best song in the whole damn movie?! hold onto your hats, my dears, cause it’s Comin’.

basically i’m imagining my song taking place primarily in my dressing room. my dressing room is always reserved for me because i’m famous, and even if i’m only a supporting role fans will still come to rehearsals and send me flowers (which is something people did back in the hayday of theatre. i don’t think practices are open anymore on broadway). and i’m imagining, like, all the flowers like crowding the room and practically framing my mirror. and it’s the last dress rehearsal before opening, and i have a Big Plan ahead that’s surely gonna work. i’ve already stuck a wrench in the main two’s lovestory with my kiss scheme, now all i have to do is make the main character quit. and i’m surrounded by all these vibrant roses and sunflowers that look cheerful and bright as i enter the room. but as soon as i shut the door and start to approach my vanity, the lighting shifts. 

and all those red roses turn black. and all those cheery sunflowers turn midnight purple. and my silk, long, form-fitting red dress that goes down to the floor and has a slit running all the way up to my thigh is now a shimmering, mysterious, villain-perfect purple. and the lipstick i put on my lips as i start to sing is black. 

i’m boasting about myself, obviously, and how i was the only star meant on broadway. this song is really just about hamming myself up. and there are dramatic cuts to the stage as i’m still in this villain outfit, singing and dancing for an imaginary crowd of thousands cheering me, me, and only me. it’s very darla dimple meets ursula meets scar, okay? i’m having a time with it. 

the song ends with this dramatic, long, powerful note (which in the soundtrack version turns into a long laugh that then fades to nothing), but in the movie as i start to laugh i hear a loud knock on the door as a stagehand calls 15 minutes till places. 

yadda yadda yadda, i make the main character quit, i go to take her place opening night. main guy tries to get her back, but fails. then for some reason, right before the show starts, she Does come back. i try to stop her (maybe KILL her i dunno teehee). my plan gets foiled, i’m mocked offstage. the main character succeeds, kisses the guy, disney-style ending.

as much as i want to win, i’m the disney VILLAIN, not the disney hero. but my part will be the favorite part of the movie For Sure

[robboyblunder]

~Please click and/or open in new tab for better view! Thank you!

Finally FINALLY I got around to doing character designs for everyone (at least the main cast) including rubberhose versions and extra bendy-verse versions of them! The bendy-verse versions of them are meant to be characters they voice acted in the actual cartoons including the titles of the episode their characters were in!

Over-all i’d say i’m very pleased with how these turned out and quite like my designs and hope you guys do too! A few notes I wanted to add on design decisions will be under a readmore :P

(please don’t repost or use w/o permission, and leave my description; thanks!)

Henry- his was pretty hammered out in my mind the moment I heard his voice; I wanted to make him look very kind and soft, the brown eyes really doing it for me along with his over all kind of soft-ish deameanor (sweater vest? comfy...). I’m not gonna lie, he makes me think a LOT of my dad (a great guy whom I love) who is late 40′s so I think i got his peppered hair down pretty well LOL. Otherwise I see him as being really nervous when he’s unsure of things, but he pushes through regardless

Sammy- of course the pretty boy for me fell into the blondie blue eyed trope which wasn’t intentional but it happened. I based his hair off an old propeller knight design of mine from shovel knight, combined with a bit of that lawyer with the silver hair from ace attorney because when I think proper/prim I think of that guy (edgeworth? I think?). Otherwise the sassiness kinda came into play a lot with this, including a ‘better than you’ vibe

Norman- Okay, look. I know he’s not what you’d typically picture upon hearing his voice from the game but that’s because he isn’t! I based him off caleb hyles’ lovely voice from instruments of cyanide, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think of his in-game self! I tried to give him a sorta cocky southern cowboy kind of vibe, always having a toothpick in his mouth and random ink smudges regardless of what he was doing. Also the flashlight behind his ear is perfect for sneaking through dark places a nosy mf might just try to go

Susie- again, the whole pretty blondie thing kind of stuck with me because I saw most other designs had her blonde; I actually tried a LOT of hair colors with her and none of them felt right for me except for blonde. When I made her eyes dark green I was DONE FOR. I literally can’t stop flustering because I think i made her pretty LOL. the little spatterings of freckles were just a cherry on top really, but she’s essentially sassy, good taste, and sammy’s best friend with whom she loves gossiping

Allison- I based her a LOT on her model’s look because, well, that’s what i had to go off of really! She ended up looking like my mom (can I stop making people look like my parents?!) on accident but hey it fits. I tried to make her seem calm and determined, and a bit more modest with her style; not to say she couldn’t be super dressed up if she felt like it! not much else I can say for her

Tom- HOO BOY. I really just went ham here; I gave him the typical gruff square jawed man look you’d picture a drill sergeant to have, but then it got to all the extra details and it was really fun. The mole on his nose, scars, amputated arm (because of his in game model) and intense eyes all add an ‘i’m experienced and will not take your bullshit’ vibe I wanted him to have, but not in an angry unfriendly way entirely.

Wally- I love this boy SO MUCH. he’s a ray of sunshine and I really wanted to show that so he’s wearing yellow, all smiles, doused in cute freckles, and has curly hair. I liked the idea of him being a red-head a lot so I stuck with that because other hair colors didn’t really suit my taste for him! anyways I love wally and I cry over him

Joey- This guy. man oh man, this guy. So he’s based off his in game model as well, but aged down to his more of ‘still working’ time period but is very salt and pepper like henry because I figured they’d be a similar age. I tried to give him a very powerful and calm demeanor because he’s in charge and has a firm grasp on everything, but he still is charming and able to woo people easily with his charisma. So you’ve got this lovely blue eyed devil who most certainly is not as nice as that smile... (his blue eyes however are very lovely)

[mothpile]

OK IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT SMOKEWEED AND THEIR CHARACTER ARC AND STORY AND SHIT. ERINS WISH THEY WERE ME WITH MY FANTASTIC STORY TELLING.

smokeweed starts off as a rogue named smoke, who was kicked out of their home by their mom when they were around the apprentice age bcoz that’s just the way rogues seem to work. Anyhow, Smoke ends up finding the clans. They quickly become fascinated by the fact all these cats seem to work together so well, a contrast to the cruel “only help yourself” world their mother taught them.

One of their days of observing in thunderclan actually gets them caught by a patrol, where they are then brough back to the base to be questioned. A bit of talking happens here, and the clan offers to let Smoke join them as they seem curious and r also like. just an Apprentice this is a Three Year Old theyre not gonna kick them out and stuff. So Smoke becomes Smokepaw. Smoke views this as an example of how nice the clans are, and feel genuinely accepted among their ranks. 

Over the span of their months of training though, Smokepaw’s perfect view upon the clans begins to .... shatter. horribly. It begins a bit with their confusion over why the clans seem to want to guard their borders so much. Smokepaw thought that they all worked together, no? But the explanation for this they get is that “Everyone has an equal amount of land to hunt in, and it’s important to make sure no one tries to... break that boundary. If others start coming into our territory to hunt our stuff, we won’t have enough food for ourselves!” which to Smokepaw...makes enough sense to them. at the time. 

It’s when Smokepaw gets to go to their first Gathering, a real moment to interact with other clans. They immediately start getting friendly with other clan apprentices, specifically one from Shadowclan named Patchpaw. (Patchpaw is ... curious about Smokepaw’s friendliness, which gets her to think maybe Smokepaw’s trying to use her for information about her clan, but... quickly realizes Smokepaw is just being nice). Anyhow, smokepaw ends up leaving the gathering believing they have properly made friends with alll the other apprentices. 

They’re quickly taught this is not the case when they bring it up once to another thunderclan apprentice. The apprentice tells smokepaw that “no, you’re not really friends with them. you can never be! what if we go to battle against their clan? would you fight them then? how would you remain loyal to us if you think your enemies you’re supposed to be attacking are your friends?” . This sends Smokepaw into their first big dilemma spiral. They cant understand why the clans would fight each other. They cant understand what’s why having friends outside of their clan would be such a big deal. So, for the first time, Smokepaw finds themself questioning the way the clans are running everything.

It’s during a hunt they were on near the shadowclan border when smokepaw runs into Patchpaw again. They talk, and Smokepaw ends up asking if they really are friends. Patchpaw is caught a bit off guard by this, but. well. when she hesitantly says “i... dont know? im pretty sure youre not supposed to be that with other clans” . which gets smokepaw to ask Why. patchpaw gives the same answer (well. what if our clans Fight eachother). smokepaw asks Why would that happen. patchpaw goes . um. well. over prey i guess? and smokepaw asks again Why. why would there have to be bloodshed over that. there’s enough prey for everyone, isnt there? patchpaw replies “i mean. sometimes theres not? so maybe cats would go try and steal from other clans for food.” and smokepaw asks “wait but wouldnt it make sense to all work together at a time like that? why would you compete at a serious crisis like that. wouldn’t it be more logical to get everyone to work together to make sure every cat who needs food Gets it rather than fight over scraps??” and. This Is The First Time Patchpaw ends up questioning the code. Unsure of how to respond, Patchpaw finds herself Agreeing with what smokepaw has just said. The two agree to meet up again sometime, and , well, friendship. and gay rights. but we’ll get there a bit later i think

Time goes on, Smokepaw ends up nearing the day they become a full on warrior, but time and time again the clans have proved themselves to be dumb as all shit. Their enthusiasm and energy has drained away, leaving them tired and bitter. They still meet up with Patchpaw and stuff. At this point smokepaw rlly does love her. One day, while smokepaw’s hanging around other fellow thunderclan apprentices, one of them asks if smokepaw Likes anyone. yknow. just fun Banter. smokepaw, who doesnt Know at this point you’re not supposed to like cats from other clans that way, lets it slip that they like 1 of the apprentices in shadowclan. this. Does not go well. really it’s just home of phobia at its finest. Obviously the apprentices snitch to the higher ups, and Smokepaw receives a whole lecture about the ‘Importance of the warrior code’ and how ‘yeah you’re not a Real clan cat so of course you cant understand how IMPORTANT the code is’. this is something told to them by the LEADER. a scolding from the Big Boss. and this ends up bein the Final Straw for smokepaw. they fucking go ham and SNAP. yknow how ive gone off about the Issues w/ warrior cats? yeah they do That basically. 

So they have their mini-revolution moment, dragging out all of the clans faults in the form of speech. Obviously other cats end up hearing their rant, and are all...unsure about what to do about this. Smokepaw ends their rant by now rejecting the name the clan has given them, and swears that the clans will all tear themselves apart by their own claws. or smthing like that. smthing over the top and Dramatic along the lines of ‘ouroboros eating itself” and whatnot. 

Smoke quits the clan and runs away. Before leaving the territories though, they do try to find patchpaw. at this point, patchpaw has been promoted to patchpelt. Smoke tells patchpelt about everything that has happened, and how theyre leaving. They ask if patchpelt wants to run away with them. Patchpelt is too conflicted to answer this, and ends up saying she cant leave behind her life like that. Smoke is obviously a bit.... saddened. Devastated if you will by this. But they understand, and leave patchpelt behind.

Patchpelt, who was a warrior, quickly finds herself getting tired by the clans bs. She tries to switch her path to become a medicine cat to fix the problem, hoping now she wont have to tag along with the whole “fighting eachother over nothing” shit, but it doesnt work. She..... regrets not running away with smoke. practically everyday. 

Smoke, while away, goes on a series of journeys and what have you. to TL;DR it, they end up meeting Midnight and become a bit of an apprentice to her and learn. a LOT. smoke Super Woke now. They also find a kit/apprentince along their journey, a 3 legged bastard of a gremlin cat named Three, who they end up taking care of. There is also another kid Smoke adopts named Rattail, who. as her name implies, has a... rat tail. Rattail is a bit scarred all over so they have a lotta bare patches of skin and what have you. Somewhere down the line, smoke decides to name themself Smokeweed out of a funni ‘haha. like Weed the drug’ and in a bit of a spite move against the clans.

Some More Time down the road, Smokeweed actually comes back to the clans to see what’s going on. It happens to be they’ve stopped by at a time all the clans are at each others throats. They have a reuinting moment with Patchpelt, who now is like “oh god please for the love of god get me out of here” . so they run off together for Realizies now. 

This lil family ends up settlin down at the Church place in that. Tigerheart Superedition book. personally i like thts a Nice Place and think it’s a fitting and sweet end to let the 4 all get to.. settle down. be happy and safe away from the clans and all their bs. they just Vibe..... and life is good for them. thats the End. <3

[mysmedrabbles]

Seamus Finnigan Dating a Slytherin Reader

requested: by anon

a/n: lmao the poor bastards hairline lmao anyways hrghrhh harry potter yup!! enjoy y'all, hopefully the fandom isn't fully dead yet,, also i kinda went ham on the backstory again sorrrryyyyy 

warnings: me lowkey hating on gryffindors, also mild mild language

-slytherin mod alexxxsssss🐍 

-Seamus Finnigan... where to begin with this boy

-For one, he was a gryfinndor, the proudest house in the school, full of themselves and obsessed with their own status, making sure that they were the best, cutting down anyone that disagreed or brought them down the popularity scale and they say slytherins are bad, but he had never been like that.

-Sure he held a few of the same prejudices as the rest of the school had, but then again, who didn't. There were bad seeds in every house, just because Slytherins had a flare for the dramatic didn't mean it made the other houses saints.

-but he was nice about it, a bit awkward; Seamus always had the tendency to blow things up, often hearing a pained scream from the other side of the great hall, making you and your housemates giggle

-this whole ordeal of course, was funny, funny until Professor Snape paired the both of you together in potions, set on separating all the gryffindors from their boisterous housemates 

-you’d never really talked to this Irish boy, but his name was whispered in the Charms classroom, and he had a chaotic reputation. Which is why the second he stepped next to your cauldron you started to panic, knowing you had to keep him away at all costs

-so thats what you did. sending him to pick up ingredients and chop them up, your plan was going well, pepperup potion boiling away like it was no ones business, the two of you had even beat Hermione’s team, who’d gotten stuck on finely grinding the lacewing flies, unable to pound the head in. You started to notice him more and more, tiny awkward smiles being exchanged between the two of you as you worked quietly and efficiently. You couldn't help but notice that he was cute, cute in an impish sort of way, like he’d make you laugh at a meme and call you the most beautiful girl in the world in the same sentence.

-He stood at just a bit shorter than you, hair cut short, almost buzzed, undoubtedly as a precaution from all the times he’d set fire to various objects. you barely registered his blue-green eyes staring at you sheepishly, face getting redder and redder by the second. You tore your eyes away, clearing the station around you

-and thats all it took apparently

-the next thing you know your station is on fire, and chaos naturally ensures, even Snape is baffled, frozen staring at Seamus’ chaotic face, eyes wide open in a form of fascination, staring between the flaming cauldron and the bottle of an unidentified substance in his hand. completely unaware of the fire licking at his pant leg. however when he does realize, he simply makes it vanish with a quiet incantation, and doesn’t seem scared. 

-you hear his mutter under his breath, “I didn’t even mean for that to happen this time?” 

-hc that seamus is fireproof or disassociates so hard he doesnt feel anything

-when the fire is out, Snape barks at you to take him to the infirmary, and reluctantly you follow orders, glaring at the irish boy the whole time.

-when you’re safely out of Snapes earshot, you go off on him, ranting about how he just cost you a grade and hOW on earth were you supposed to recover it now?

-he’s still giddy w excitement over the whole ordeal, so much so that he doesnt even register the usual embarrassment that comes with setting things aflame, only hearing your irritated yelling, which he finds mostly amusing and,,, adorable? at this point, having been effectively numbed by the amount of yelling he usually got from his classmates. there was still something cute about how angry you were at him, the ex-quietly blushing slytherin turned into a new raging slytherin. he liked seeing you talk

-he stops walking, just watching you as you keep ranting and walking, stopping and turning around on your heel when you notice him gone. he’s standing a few feet back, full grin broken out on his face. you make a face at him, throwing out an angry, “What.”

-he simply, looks at you, a soft blush atop his ears, but the beginnings of a smirk nevertheless, “would you want to go to hogsmeade together sometime?”

-bitch what the fuck

     -                 -                  -

DATING SEAMUS 

-your being Slytherin doesn't have much of an impact on your relationship, although after a few lengthy debates about every house and their flaws/why each house is good in their own way, he’ll defend you from anyone that says anything bad about you or your house.

-the insults he hears from the slytherins though, they hit different, theyre just friendly insults, and he laughs along as he walks with you and your friends, fingers interlaced with yours as he bumps his hip into your own, poking his tongue out at you

-swapping house scarves in the winter, and its the cutest shit ever

-you make it your habit of going to hogsmeade every weekend possible, most of the time just going up the hill and watching the town below as you enjoy the view, a few sweets in both of your pockets as you share

-he has the tendency of making up random games to play, and he’s thoroughly convinced that he invented I Spy

-seamus is cocky, like,, extremely. he thinks he’s all that, and loves the effect he has on you, but turn it around for just a second, showering him with a few compliments and he’s as red as a tomato, hiding his face in his sweater covered hands

-going to the library to cuddle on the beanbag chairs (that your slytherin friend snuck in), and the two of you are fully convinced that Madam Pince hates the both of you, giggling as you hide your face in his chest, his hand resting on the nape of your neck, laughing along as he kisses your forehead

-turns out you were right, he IS the type of guy that’ll make you laugh at a stupid joke and call you the most beautiful girl in the world in the same sentence

-sneaking out of your dorms at night, and meeting up in whatever broom closet is available, sometimes just sitting cross legged from each other and talking about the universe, sometimes a passionate makeup session leaving even the broomsticks rattled happens

-you love listening to his voice, especially when he’s tired from studying and you can her the tiredness come through his accent, voice soft, yet deeper than usual

-plays with your fingers when he’s nervous, kissing each one as he stares off into space (rip your hands freedom), also has the habit of falling asleep laying his head on your stomach or legs, and loves it when your hands run through his cropped hair, running your hands over various burn scars

-he talks a lot, telling you stories about all the times magic has blown up in his face, quite literally, and it really seems like he never gets a break form the constant chaos in his life

-Snape never pairs the two of you ever again in potions, so you resort to making silly faces at each other from across the classroom.

[codynaomiswireart]

“Gauze in the Wound” - Part 18

“It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.”

- Screwtape, The Screwtape Letters

One of the troublesome things with doing anything out of spite is that nine times out of ten you regret it immediately afterwards.

Varian found himself facing this predicament as he watched the solitary pinprick of light fade away to almost nothing above him, and his heart immediately leapt into a panic as he found he could do nothing this time to stop his rapid descent downwards into the all-encompassing darkness.  Though Varian couldn’t honestly say that his bitter feelings towards Rapunzel had changed in that moment, he did find – for his own sake at least – that he keenly regretted letting go of her hand, and he felt a flare of anger at himself for not letting her help him up and out of the hole he now plummeted down into.  Yet even with this degree of regret, Varian was unable to do anything about it as he found he wasn’t able to navigate that space like before.  It had become an emptier sort of space than before, and no matter how Varian flailed his limbs about in an attempt at a swimming motion, he could not slow his fall as the galaxy-filled sky faded away above him; like a star being snuffed out in a moonless, pitch-black sky. 

Varian wanted to scream in terror as he felt the cool air go whooshing past his helpless form as his fall approached terminal velocity, but it was as if both panic and pride had paralyzed his voice in this throat.  The idea of hitting at any moment now a solid surface that he could not see made him freeze in that fear of being badly hurt (or even killed) upon impact, while at the same time the small tinge of pride he had left in him also didn’t want to let out any sort of sound that may have indicated such helplessness.  But he didn’t need Rapunzel, he told himself.  He didn’t need her help, and he wasn’t going to let any sort of pathetic yelping or crying from himself be his own voice’s final argument against the point.  Varian had no idea what would happen to him now, but he knew for sure that whatever it was that the princess-

“Desine.” 

The familiar word echoed in the air around Varian, interrupting his thoughts, and presently, greatly to his surprise, Varian found himself slowing in his rapid descent, and with a small thud, he landed on his back on what appeared to be another flat and solid surface.  For a moment, Varian just lay there, trying to recollect his shaken senses like when he had emerged onto the celestial plain from before.  But unlike the celestial plain, this new surface he was on felt like it was covered with a thick layer of dust or dirt instead of a thin layer of water, and there was no blazing firmament dancing above him, but only an inky blackness to be seen overhead. Varian coughed and spat as he felt some of the dust around him get into his mouth as a slight, stale breeze stirred the topsoil, and Varian rose to his feet gingerly in an effort to get to cleaner air up off the ground. 

“Care for a drink, Puer Lunae?”

Varian didn’t know how much more panic his heart could take, but he felt another sharp jolt of it surge through him from chest to gut as he heard a voice speak again from somewhere in the darkness behind him.  Whirring round, Varian saw the unexpected sight of a small campfire that glowed a deep pink color, and a cloaked figure sitting beside it holding in one hand a long staff with a green light on the end, while in the other it held a flask with some sort of liquid substance in it, which the stranger seemed to be offering in Varian’s direction.

“Well?” the figure spoke again, its voice deep, silky, welcoming, and even almost gentle as it addressed Varian.  “You must be quite thirsty by now I imagine, yes?”

Varian blinked back in response, noticing how dry his throat had indeed become as he swallowed hard, but remained where he stood as he eyed the flask offered to him with suspicion.  “Wh-who are you?” Varian managed to ask in a hoarse, defensive voice, and he strained his vision to try to make out a face from within the shadows of the stranger’s hood.  But the pink light of the fire wasn’t quite bright enough for that, so any expressions on the stranger’s face were an enigma to Varian.  “What do you want?”

“No need to worry boy,” the stranger answered as he set the flask down beside him, and then extended his free hand in a gesture of invitation.  “I am a friend.  Please, sit.”

On instinct, Varian stepped back a few paces.  Despite the apparent lack of hostility in the man’s voice and demeanor, Quirin had taught Varian to know better than to engage with some stranger who randomly offered him food or drink – let alone some stranger in a mysterious place that Varian knew nothing about. 

“Um, n-no, no thanks,” Varian stammered from his place at the edge of the firelight, shifting his weight from one foot to the other nervously as his mind raced for what he ought to say and do now.  “I-I just need to-”

“To find your way out of here,” the stranger said, more of a statement of fact than as a question.  Varian bit his bottom lip, and his eyebrows scrunched together tightly at the man’s finishing his sentence.

“Yes, I know all about that,” the stranger continued, his voice lullying and coaxing as he managed a small huff of quiet amusement.  “In fact, I know a lot about you, Puer Lunae.”

Puer Lunae.  Moon Child.

Varian’s eyes narrowed at the repeated use of this title…though now his piqued curiosity made him shuffle just one step closer into the circle of firelight as he asked, “W-why are you calling me that?  My name is Varian.”

“Yes, I know that too,” the stranger said (just before Varian could begin mentally kicking himself again for divulging personal information about himself to a total stranger like that).  “And your father’s name is Quirin, and you hail from Old Corona village.  You are a first-class alchemist, you are one of the two men who were able to successfully craft Demanitus steel for the first time within the last three hundred years, and you are currently the kingdom of Corona’s most notorious convict.  You also love ham sandwiches, and you’re goals in life are to free your father and make him proud of you.” 

There was a long pause as Varian blinked at the cloaked man in disbelief, and shuffled back another step.  How did he know all this about him?”

…It was creepy, and Varian would’ve surely made a bolt for it (to where exactly in this darkness who could say?), had it not been for what the man said next as he continued.

“What you do not know, however, is that your father hails originally from the Dark Kingdom – from the court of King Edmund to be precise – far to the east of here.  It’s this very place where the princess of Corona and her comrades are currently journeying.  But they do not know what your father knew about it.  He was one of the few left in the world to know about the great secrets that that kingdom holds – one of those secrets being the legendary Moon Drop, and the great power that it was known to wield.”

Here, the cloaked figure appeared to be look directly at Varian, and Varian was now able to just make out the faint glimmer of eyes that peered out at him from under the stranger’s hood.  Varian wasn’t sure if it was the man’s next few words, the look in his eyes, or both that sent shivers down Varian’s spine in that moment as he said, “And some of its great power resides in you…Puer Lunae.”

Shaking his head in disblief, Varian began retreating back again a few steps, and he felt a desperate sense of denial blossom in his chest, as he didn’t want to accept any of this new information just given to him.

“N-no, you’re lying!  You’re lying!” Varian snapped at the man.  “It’s-it’s not true!  None of this is!  You’re making it up!  It’s not real!  It’s not-!”

“Oh?  Isn’t it?” the man interrupted with a small smile in his voice, and leaned casually against the staff he had planted perpendicular in the sandy ground.

“N-no, it’s not!” Varian insisted back.  “It’s-it’s all just in my head, right?  You, this place; it’s all just a bad, vivid dream!  I’ll-I’ll wake up any moment!  You’ll see!  And then all of this will-” 

“All of it?  Are you sure?” the man questioned confidently, with a slight purr in his voice. “Then tell me boy, how else would you explain what happened to you when you fought the Seperatists of Sapora just a few hours ago?  For that was most certainly an event that happened in the waking world, was it not?”

Varian paused, swallowing hard again as the point sank in.  “I…I don’t know about that,” Varian mumbled back pitifully, his confidence clearly shaken.  Yet despite this, he rallied, and still attempting to recover himself he stated quickly,  “B-but there’s a logical, scientific explanation I’m sure!  I’m positive there is!  I mean, th-there’s no way that all that was-!”

“Magic?”

As the man whispered the word, Varian froze as he felt the air around them began to prickle with some sort of energy that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and a small, purple flame came alight in the man’s free hand a moment later.  The flame hovered just a few centimeters above his open palm with no discernable fuel source for it (which made Varian’s mouth open part way in astonishment), and with a quick flourish, the man sent the tiny flame shooting upwards into the air over their heads.  Varian’s eyes followed it to where it burst quietly in a shower of green sparks, with the effect very much resembling that of a kind of a festival firecracker.  As a few of the hot sparks rained down about them, Varian shielded his face with his arms as he heard them hiss into quietness as they hit the cold, sandy turf, and Varian could see that they left a few ashen marks where they scarred the ground.  That was definitely not a mere illusion of the eyes. 

“Yes, Puer Lunae,” the man said as Varian shakily lowered his arms from his pale, bewildered face.  “It was all indeed magic, and that magic resides in you, whether you like it or not.  But you may grow to like it, for it is indeed a great power that you possess, and one that can help you fulfill your life’s dreams.  If…” here the man pointed at Varian, who shrank a little underneath the gesture.  “If you know how to use it to its full potential that is.  And fortunately for you, I can help you with that.”

For several tense seconds, Varian stood frozen to the spot; quivering with anxiety as what the man was telling him began to seem horribly plausible, and he felt as if he were being swallowed up again by another kind of black hole from which there would be no escape as his brain was becoming overwhelmed by this revelation.  Varian’s pulse quickened even more, and he struggled not to let his breaths crescendo into hyperventilation as he tried to process it all.  Fortunately, Varian’s skepticism saved him from being swallowed into that overwhelming gulf, and he managed to clear his dry throat as he made to speak.

“Heh, y-you make a very bold claim,” Varian said, trying to inject some appearance of self-confidence in his tone, despite being keenly aware of how his voice cracked a little with the effort.  Even so, Varian made an attempt to stand up a little straighter as he continued.  “The Separatists said as much too, in their own way, and look where it got me.  But then you knew that already, apparently.  So wh-what makes you think that I’m gonna listen to you on the basis of a mere fireworks display?  How am I supposed to know that I can trust you?  You still haven’t told me who you are, and I’m not about to trust some faceless stranger.”

“Mm, yes, quite right,” the man replied.  “Those are all very good questions.  You really are quite perspecatious, Puer Lunae.  Though of course, I wouldn’t expect any less from one of my own descendants.”           

There was another deep pause as Varian’s eyes widened upon hearing this.  “Wait…y-you’re what now?” 

“Oh, I know Quirin didn’t want you to know,” the man said with a sigh.  “He was trying so hard to protect you naturally, as any good father would.  He definitely takes after his own father he does, and his father’s father, and his father’s father’s father, ad infinitum.  And of course…”

Here the figure finally pulled back the hood of his cloak.  Upon seeing his face, Varian felt as if he had just received a hard punch in the stomach, his heart felt like it had cracked and begun to bleed, and a sharp yelp of alarm escaped his mouth before he could cover it with both of his gloved hands as horror and whole slew of other emotions began to stir within him as he saw that face in that eerie pink and green light that highlighted those O so familiar features.

For the man’s face bore almost the exact mirror image of his father, Quirin!

“…He took after me – your great-great grandcestor, Lord Demanitus.”

Arianna rubbed her eyes as she finally came to after a good many hours of much needed sleep.  With a bleary glance at the clock on the mantle, Arianna could see that she had slept until just before eleven thirty in the morning.  It had been years since Arianna had slept in so late, but O did it feel so good to so today. 

After putting on the bathrobe and slippers Sabine had supplied for her, Arianna made her way to the kitchen to find herself something for breakfast.  She may have been a queen, but Arianna was by no means opposed to doing her own cooking every now and again when the need arose.  And while Sabine was a gracious hostess, Arianna felt that there was no need to have her go out of her way to make breakfast when Arianna was perfectly capable of doing it herself.  After all, Sabine had other guests that needing tending to, and the last thing Arianna wanted was to get in the way of that.

“Oh, good morning Xavier!” Arianna greeted the blacksmith kindly as he too had woken up by now, and was currently in the process of finishing off some toast with tea and honey as Arianna came in.

“Oh, good morning your majesty,” Xavier greeted in return as he made to stand as a lady entered the room. 

“Please, remain seated Xavier,” Arianna said kindly as she noticed the slight grimace that crossed Xavier’s face as he had tried to stand, and she also noted the wooden cane that leaned against the table at his side.  Arianna knew that Xavier’s feet had been aching him something terrible by the end of last night’s journeyings, and while he really did quite well for someone his age in a lot of respects, she knew that all of what he had been through must’ve still taken its toll on him physically.  He would need time to recover as well from whatever aches and pains he was now experiencing, and Arianna didn’t want him agitating things further just for the sake of courtly manners.  With a grateful nod, Xavier remained in his seat as Arianna went about the kitchen getting her own light breakfast ready. 

“How are you feeling this morning?” Arianna asked him over her shoulder as she poured herself a cup of tea from the kettle that had remained hot over the hearth, and put together a small plate of fruit, yogurt, and toast with marmalade.

“Rather achey, but nothing I can’t handle,” Xavier replied as he gingerly massaged the bandages that had also been applied to the puncture wounds on his neck where the stun darts had been used on him yesterday.  Arianna’s eyebrows scrunched together at this, and she bit her bottom lip hard as she felt anger boil in her blood again at the thought of the Saporian spies knocking Xavier out like that and dragging him away captive.  The kettle over the fire could hardly have been more of a mood for her in that moment.

“How are you doing your majesty?” Xavier asked in return.  “Were you able to send your letter to the king?”

“Yes, yes I was,” Arianna replied as she sat down across from Xavier with her own meal.  “Sabine’s eagle friend was kind enough to deliver it himself last night.  Though since we haven’t been able to make the jump over to Corona just yet, it may be while before he arrives there.  I’m still waiting for a reply.”

Xavier nodded, for he too knew of the mysterious magic of that house that could allow it to warp to other locations.  Of course, Sabine’s Safehouse couldn’t warp to just anywhere.  That really would’ve been silly.  Xavier remembered how years before Sabine had explained to him how the magic of that house worked – being able to go between particular checkpoints created throughout the Seven Kingdoms, and how the house was specifically constructed to be able to do so.  The very wood, stones, and mortal of that house were made from the trees and land pits of the legendary Forest of No Return after all.

And the enchanted astrolabe by which that magic was harnessed and made stable…?  Well, Sabine’s only response to that question had been a bit of a distant look in her remaining good eye, a wrinkled hand hesitantly stroking across the purple strip of cloth that covered the other, and her cryptically saying, “All magic comes with a price…”

“Have you seen Sabine at all this morning?” Arianna now inquired as she ate up a spoonful of yogurt with some blueberries.

“Not yet I’m afraid,” Xavier said with a shake of his head.  “Though under the circumstances, I’d imagine she’s quite busy.” 

“So I take it you haven’t been in to see Varian yet today either?”

Xavier shook his head wordlessly as his answer, and also become very somber at the mentioning of Varian and his condition.  Arianna frowned sympathetically, and a thoughtful silence settled between them again as Arianna continued to much on her meal.

“Um…y-your highness?” Xavier asked with a slight stammer some moments later, to which Arianna looked up puzzled, but listened intently.  “If I may make so free as to ask you a question?”

“Yes of course Xavier,” Arianna replied with an encouraging smile as she took a gentle sip from her teacup.  “What is it?”

Xavier paused again, swallowing hard, then finally forced the words to come out.  “Why did you come to get me with Varian yesterday?”

Arianna’s small smile vanished as she slowly set down her teacup at this question, feeling as if she should begin to brace herself for some reason.  “What do you mean Xavier?”

“O your majesty, please!” Xavier said with a tone both pleading and with an edge of frustration in it.  “You know what I mean!  You should not have done what you did!”

“And why not?” Arianna retorted back, her voice beginning to turn sharp and queenly as she began to feel hurt at Xavier’s unexpected terseness with her, and apparent lack of gratitude for having been rescued.  “We couldn’t just let them take you Xavier!  I know you’d be willing to go to any length to keep Corona safe, noble man that you are, but I too am willing to go to any length to ensure the welfare of my citizens, and that includes you.  We all love you Xavier, and we couldn’t just let anything further happen to you!  And Varian and I were able to do something about that.  What else were we supposed to-?”

“Just because you could do something your majesty, doesn’t mean you should have!”

“And again, why not?  We were successful weren’t we?  We’re all here after all!  We’re safe now!  And-!”

“But you took Varian with you!” Xavier almost shouted at her, with Arianna taken aback at having never seen Xavier so angry with her before.  (Heck, when had she ever seen him angry before?  …Well, perhaps save during the battle last night of course.)  But Arianna restrained her own frustrations as she listened carefully to Xavier’s own.  “Please your highness, explain to me, why?  Why would you risk his safety like that, as well as your own?  If you wanted to get me back, why did you not send someone else?” 

“There was no one else Xavier,” Arianna replied as calmly as she could.  “The entire capital was on lockdown, the guards were spread thin as it was, and I wasn’t about to just sit by in my tower and not do anything to help you.”

“Then why take Varian with you!?  Surely his majesty never would’ve allowed it!  And even if he had, why would you risk Varian’s safety like that!?  Why take him with you!?” 

Arianna knew that perhaps now was not the time to inject any sort of levity into their conversation, but she couldn’t help but have a small smile grace her face as she thought back to how she had found Varian underneath the table in the palace kitchens that evening, as he was gearing up for a rescue attempt on his own, regardless of whether he was going to get any help or not. 

“Actually Xavier,” Arianna said, looking into her friend’s bewildered eyes, “I guess you could say that it wasn’t I who took Varian on this rescue mission.  Not exactly I mean.  If anything, he was the one who took me, in a way.  We only ended up coming together after Friedborg had informed me that he had escaped the guards’ watch, and that he was more than ready to carry out a rescue mission all on his own if need be.  Believe me Xavier, I didn’t want Varian to be in danger any more than you did.  But…” 

Arianna looked down into her teacup as she continued.  “There really was no one else Xavier; no one else who stood a chance like we did anyway.  We were running out of time, as you well know, and we were indeed capable of doing something about it.  And…”  Arianna sighed, sadly.  “I really do believe that Varian needed this, Xavier.  He needed you.  He had to try to save you.  I understand if you’re mad at me for doing what I did.  I won’t argue and say that there wasn’t some foolishness in it.  Indeed, I feel awful at the idea of how we nearly did fail, had it not been for what happened with all that magic.  But I do believe it would’ve been far worse for you and for Varian if I had taken him back to be locked up again – if I had treated him like a criminal again.  He wanted – he needed – to do something to save you.  He needed help, and I was…Well, I was…”

The queen’s voice trailed away at this, and she frowned hard at her reflection in her teacup.  Xavier had every right to be angry with her, and she was sure that Frederic, the Captain, and many others back at home felt no better than he about what she had done.  But Varian had needed her help, and that help couldn’t be found in deterring him from this mission he had set himself on that day.  She needed to show him that he had support in his desire to do the right thing.  He needed someone to not treat him like a criminal, just as Xavier had done.

“…You’ve forgiven him?”

Arianna looked up in surprise as the unexpected question left Xavier’s mouth.  The expression on the blacksmith’s face was hard to read for once, but Arianna thought she could detect something of knowing and anticipation in it.  Arianna opened her mouth to reply to this question…but the answer wouldn’t come.  All at once, everything that Varian had done on the day of the Battle of Old Corona came back to her.  She remembered the muffled, metallic sound of his voice creeping up behind her, and a burst of sparkling green dust before all went black.  She remembered the feeling of the cords that cut into her wrists, and the weight of the shackle around her ankle.  She remembered hearing Rapunzel’s desperate pleas with Varian to spare the lives of her friends and family, and the pain and weariness from her that resulted form Varian forcing her to use her magic for his plans (though the ultimately failed).  Most vividly of all, Arianna remembered the sight of the amber extending hungrily towards her as she was chained helplessly in its path, with their conjuration being of Varian’s own, well-knowing, willing hand, and the feeling of those huge metallic claws closing around her ribcage as if to snap her in two like a brittle twig.

“No,” Arianna wanted to say.  “Of course I can’t forgive someone like that!”

…And yet…

[“So unfortunately, this is my only remaining recourse.”

“WHAT!?  WHY!?”

“I-I DON’T UNDERSTAND, WHY WON’T IT-!?  HER HAIR, I-IT SHOULD’VE CUT THROUGH IT!  WHY DIDN’T IT WORK!?”

“…He was hurting, Frederic.  He was grieving.  He had no one…”

“He had comforted you.”

“DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!  TELL US WHERE THEY’VE TAKEN HIM RIGHT NOW YOU SCUMBAG OR I’LL-!”

“Shhh, there there big guy. It’s all right. It’s me, remember?...There’s a good boy.  It’s all right.  You’ve got this.  You’ve been so brave Ruddiger!  You did great!  There’s a good boy.  Yeah, you’re a good boy…”

“What the –hair!?”]

“Well, I…” Arianna began, though her mouth had suddenly going rather dry, as she felt some other force begin to squeeze it’s way around her wrestling heart as she struggled with how exactly to answer such a question.

…Had she forgiven him?

“I-” 

But just then, Arianna was suddenly interrupted by footsteps making their way hurriedly down the hall towards them, and both she and Xavier looked up to see Sabine come into the room, her expression urgent.

“Oh, you both are awake, good!” Sabine said a little breathlessly.  “I need you both to come with me right away.  It’s about Varian.”

Both Xavier and Arianna exchanged a worried glance with each other as they quickly got up and followed Sabine back down the hall, with Xavier’s cane making a steady thumping noise as he limped along as quick as he could with his aching limbs. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Arianna asked in earnest as they made their way into Varian’s room, where Arianna could see Varian sweating rather profusely from where he lay on the recovery bed, his face more flushed than before, and also the phenomenon of a slight glow pulsating along the blue streak in his hair.  Ruddiger – nearby as always – looked near terrified as he was treading his paws anxiously into the covers from where he sat at Varian’s side, and Pontus’s head was extended into the room through the open window.  The stag nuzzled his nose into the frightened raccoon’s side to try to comfort him, though was careful to avoid disturbing the dressings still covering the wound there.

“What’s happening to him?” Xavier asked in alarm as he saw Varian’s distressed state. 

“I’m not entirely sure,” Sabine began to explain, “but early this morning Pontus alerted me to the presence of some dark magic within him, which apparently had been the barrier that prevented me from rousing him last night.  Pontus couldn’t tell me the source of it, or even who or what was conducting it, but he said he was certain that whatever it was meant no good, and that we may not have much time before it does something even worse to Varian.  So far, it’s only been keeping Varian unconscious from what I can tell; keeping his mind isolated.  But anything beyong that is unknown to me.”

“What about the fever?” Arianna inquired, feeling her own distress grow more and more at this news. 

“Undoubtedly, that would be Varian’s system trying to fight off this intrusion.  Some of it may be simply due to his body being so exhausted from everything which – dark magic or no – he would still be running a temperature to try to fight.  But as his own powers are now responding a little as well, I get the feeling that there’s more going on within him right now than just a fight to stop a typical infection.”

“What do we do then?” Arianna asked with a slight hitch in her voice.

“We can continue to do all we can to try to bring him back round from our end.  I’ve already spent most of the morning hours trying to do that through whatever magic and remedies I know, and have barely gotten anywhere I’m afraid.  Although…”  Sabine paused for a moment, her eyebrows scrunching together in deep reluctance.  “Pontus had another idea that may be worth a try.  But it could be incredibly risky.”

“What idea is that?” Xavier inquired, his voice surprisingly steady, but his expression indicating both deep worry and steely determination to do whatever was necessary for Varian (and to possibly throttle whatever or whomever was trying to hurt his apprentice). 

At this question, Sabine turned and placed a gentle hand upon Ruddiger’s head.  “Varian may be well out of our reach, but Pontus seems to believe that Ruddiger could possibly get to him, seeing how strong the bond between the two of them is.”

“Right.  So, how would he do that?” Xavier asked. 

Sabine’s expression turned grave as she answered.  “Pontus could loan Ruddiger some of his powers as a familiar – that is, a powerful animal guardian – and he would be able to reach Varian’s psyche that way.  Pontus already made an attempt overnight himself, and nearly had him back to us.  But the attempt ultimately failed, and Varian’s consciousness is even deeper buried now than it was before.  Given his bond with Varian, Ruddiger could possibly be able to reach him that far down, but there’s no guarantee that the two of them teaming up will be able to pull off the operation successfully.  And if the dark presence within Varian is possibly incredibly powerful, Ruddiger especially would be taking an enormous risk in this endeavor.”  Here, Sabine did her best to not look at Ruddiger directly as she made the situation plain.  “It might be he who would not wake up again.” 

Xavier and Arianna exchanged a horrified look between themselves, and Arianna felt her blood run cold at the idea as she looked at the loyal critter who quivered where he sat curled up by his master, with Pontus giving him small gestures of reassurance.

“Oh surely that can’t be it!” Arianna cried.  “There must be something, anything else that can be done!”

“Calm yourself your majesty,” Sabine said reassuringly.  “While the prospects are not assured for Ruddiger’s victory, neither is it guaranteed that he would fail.  Especially if the bond between him and Varian is strong enough, and the source of the dark magic isn’t so powerful, Ruddiger would indeed stand a chance of being able to reach Varian and guide his consciousness back successfully.  But I wanted to seek your counsel on the matter, as Varian himself is not able to give his approval or disapproval of the idea.  You two are the next closest thing to kith or kin that we have for him right now, and Pontus and I need your approval if we are to make the attempt in a timely manner.”

“And what about Ruddiger?” Xavier questioned.

“He’s already agreed to do it if we’re willing to help him.”

Before now, Arianna and Xavier had a hard time imagining that Ruddiger could’ve proven himself to be any more loyal than he already had.  But now, the both of them looked at the creature as if they were seeing a war hero before them.  He was scared nearly stiff, but he was willing to do what it took to save his best friend, even if it meant a risk to his own life, and Ruddiger’s pleading eyes told them, heartbreakingly, all that the two of them needed to know.

Very gently, Arianna kelt down so that she was even with the little creature at the side of the bed, and gently cupped his furry little head in her hands before placing a queenly kiss of blessing atop of it.  “Bring him home, Ruddiger,” was all that she could say as she felt Ruddiger weakly nuzzle her back in return.

It was all happening so fast, and Xavier was of course scared as well.  He hated feeling useless, and he wished there could’ve been another way, but he knew enough about magic to know that Sabine and Pontus were right.  As Arianna gently pulled herself away from Ruddiger, Xavier too gave Ruddiger a gesture of blessing as he placed his hand atop his head. 

“Be careful, brave Ruddiger,” Xavier said to him, and trying hard not to let his voice crack with emotion.  “You can do it.  We’re all here for you.” 

With one last coo of grateful acknowledgment to everyone, Ruddiger then turned to Pontus, who gently placed the tip of his nose to Ruddiger’s forehead.  After a few seconds, Arianna saw a patch of white begin to expand cross Ruddiger’s head from where Pontus touched him, while at the same time, the white of Pontus’s muzzle began to fade into a deep reddish-brown color.  Though both animals’ ears fell back upon their skulls as if in some discomfort, neighter one cried or flinched in pain, to which Arianna felt some relief. 

A minute later, Pontus – with his muzzle now almost completely covered in reddish-brown fur – withdrew from Ruddiger, and everyone present could see the glowing patch of white that now crowned Ruddiger’s head like a tiny full moon.  After taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Ruddiger nodded to Sabine that he was ready.  Gently, Sabine took Ruddiger in her arms, and for a second time initiated the spell for a charmed sleep, and the little raccoon’s eyelids slowly slid shut as the sing-song words were completed.

Arianna couldn’t bring herself to watch that though.  She dreaded the idea of never seeing them open again after that. 

Once this was done, Sabine very solemnly laid Ruddiger down at Varian’s shoulder on the mattress, and everyone present knew that they could only now watch and wait to see what would happen, as the glow on Ruddiger’s head gradually began to pulsate in tandem with that of his master’s.

With a sharp gasp, Ruddiger soon found himself coming to in a dark, dusty place, with a stale breeze flowing through the air around him.  For a fleeting moment, Ruddiger thought that perhaps he was back in the laboratory at home – what with all the dust it must’ve surely collected by now, and in the basement it definitely would’ve been dark.  But no, that couldn’t be right, for dust was one thing, but layers of dirt was quite another.  And there was no glow of any kerosene lamps, or goo balls, or other alchemical compounds in jars or flasks on the shelves.  No, there was nothing but this blackness, and the dim howl of a cold wind that blew across the desolate landscape.

Carefully, Ruddiger raised himself up on all fours, and as he did so noted the pneumbra of white that seemed to be surrounding him as he looked down at his forepaws, and then his sides and tail.  It wasn’t a very bright light, but it was still quite apparent to the eyes.  But why would he-?

“Oh!  That’s right!” Ruddiger recalled in a flood of memory.  “I’m here to get Varian!”

Looking about him, Ruddiger tried to make out anything distinct in the inky blankness that pressed up on all sides.  Turning around and around, Ruddiger couldn’t see anything beyond the few inches of turf highlighted by the silver light coming from his pelt.  Being a nocturnal creature by nature, the dark didn’t frighten Ruddiger so easily.  But the feeling of being out in an open, solitary place was rather unnerving, and Ruddiger found it difficult to figure out what to do or where to go from there. 

“Perhaps I should try following my nose?” he thought, and with that, Ruddiger proceeded to sniff at the air around him.  After about a minute or two of this, he almost began to despair of getting any sort of clue, but then-

“Ah!” Ruddiger thought in a thrill of triumph, as he detected a scent distinct from the rest of the air.  “There’s something!” 

As quick as he could, Ruddiger scampered his way along the turf, following the smoky scent that wafted over from somewhere ahead.  A little while later, Ruddiger could finally make out a dim, pink light in the distance, and figured that that must be where the scent was coming from.  Ruddiger bounded towards it, and he felt his heart give a great leap as he got closer and could make out both the sight and scent of Varian as he sat near the light, with his back towards Ruddiger, and his form in silhouette against the pink light. 

Ruddiger very nearly called out to Varian with joy as he approached, but he suddenly stopped as he realized that Varian was not alone.  There was a second figure, bigger than Varian, who also sat with his back towards Ruddiger’s direction.  Varian and the stranger weren’t sitting particularly close together, but Ruddiger could see that the mystery figure seemed to be handing over an item to Varian, which the boy took from it (if a bit hesitantly), and Ruddiger could hear the faint sound of voices talking together.  Ruddiger of course recognized Varian’s voice, but something about it was a bit…off, as if somehow muffled.

No, wait.  Now Ruddiger realized.  Varian’s voice sounded like how one does when one is trying to talk with their mouth filled partway with food, and now Ruddiger could also see Varian tilt his head back a little, and apparently down a few sips of some sort of drink.  But as Varian continued talking afterwards, Ruddiger could also hear something else in Varian’s voice that made him uneasy.

There was bitterness.  And anger.

A second later, the stranger also made to speak, and though Ruddiger wasn’t close enough to make out any words, he was able to recognize the sound of the voice.  It was the one that he had heard during the battle yesterday!  The one that had tried to coax Varian into killing the Saporian spy! 

At this, Ruddiger felt the fur stand on end on his back and along his tail, and now throwing all caution to the wind, Ruddiger let out a screech of alarm as he ran directly at the two figures, the both of whom whirled round to look at him over their shoulders, and each expression could hardly have been more of a polar opposite to the other as they each fixed their gaze on the glowing raccoon that bounded its way towards them. 

On one face, Ruddiger could see breaking through the bitterness and rage the signs of recognition, surprise, and finally joy as a wide smile broke out onto Varian’s face (though there was still something a bit wrong with his eyes, Ruddiger thought) as he saw is loyal companion running towards them.  In the other face, Ruddiger saw something like astonishment, then fear (which almost amused Ruddiger, as only his giant feral form had he ever evoked anything like that emotion from anyone), and then finally…hostility.

The question now became: Which would now win out over the other in Ruddiger’s fate as he drew rapidly closer to the two of them?

You'd think after his own escapades that Varian would know better than to accept food from strangers. *facepalm* Don't do it people!!!

Though that part of this chapter was inspired by the scene in "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" where Edmund met the White Witch and ate her food. For some reason, I imagined Zhan Tiri having a similar approach to the White Witch in this kind of scenario, though with his own warlock flair of course. (I also imagine his voice sounding a bit like Keith David for some reason. *shrugs*)

Ruddiger's glowing form in the dreamscape/mindscape was also meant to be reminiscent of a patronus. I was also inspired to do the whole "Ruddiger as a familiar/patronus" thing by the scene in the film "The Secret of Kells" where Aisling sends Pangur Bán into the tower to retrieve the key in a kind of spirit form.

"Aisling's Song" scene - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32DM5tNeHBA

[bd-joss-kujo]

Jocelyn, Gone to Heaven

~~Around half a year after Ascension~~

“W-WOAH! Is this an earthquake?!”

“No, it’s not. I know what this is...”

Jocelyn was sitting there, alone in their realm. A calm island paradise, teeming with life and beauty-perfectly fitting for a godly being. They were simply minding their own business, thinking about all they had lost, and what they had gained. Godly power at the price of their friends, their family, the whole universe. 

“Th-This feeling...!”

“I-I don’t know what’s going on, but I just broke out in a cold sweat!”

Suddenly, they feel a strange pang in their gut. Something is calling out to them-destiny, maybe? Some strange hidden desire, unfinished business, a universe calling out to them? It could have been any number of things. Slowly, they get up. “Huh...?”

“This pressure...it feels like it’s digging into my soul...”

“This pitch-black sensation!”

They form a portal, seeing that it looks different from normal. Rather than the usual red, it’s a dark purple, and sparking with strange energy. Seeing no other option, they enter it. 

Inside, it’s a pure purple floor below and a clear night sky above. There are people there-9 people and one horse. They all look somewhat different, a little bit off, but there’s no way around it. These are the Joestars of an alternate dimension, ones that they would have to destroy. And after some time to mill over it, they knew exactly how. 

But first, why not have a little fun? Ham it up a little, be dramatic. When you’re playing the role of the villain, it’s all part and parcel. Slowly, they approach their prey, like a hungry lion stalking a herd of gazelles.

“Joestars...there’s something I’ve noticed about you. You’re all very much like a set of dominos. As independent as you think you are, you rely on one another to survive, to even exist. If one of you goes down, the rest go with them. And unfortunately for you...I know exactly where the chain starts!”

The one at the front, the one in all black, shakes his head. “Good grief...I didn’t want to believe it, but I can’t deny what I’m seeing...DIO!!”

He wasn’t wrong. In his universe, Dio may have taken Jocelyn’s form and went through the motions, just as these people did, using their face. It didn’t bother them-the two of them, in the end, had wanted the same thing. For now, Jocelyn just grunts. 

Then, the one on the horse cries out. “Here goes!” The horse neighs and charges towards them. “Act 4!” Some spinning bullets go straight towards Jocelyn, but they’re unfazed as they make their way towards the group. Viva appears and knocks the bullets away. 

Next, the short blonde one makes his move. “Gold Experience Requiem!” He yells, summoning a strange looking Stand with dead eyes. Requiem and Vida lock fists, with the blonde shouting “You’ll never reach reality!”

Of course not, Jocelyn thought to themselves. I’m going to make a new reality. With this, Viva knocks Requiem away and they continue their advance. 

“STAR PLATINUM!” The one with the hat yells, as his Stand appears. Before it can strike, Viva grabs its arm and throws it down. Jocelyn mouths a silent apology to “Star” as they reach the six who hadn’t tried anything, all tense.

 “AAH! Jotaro and the others! They-They’ve been beaten!” The taller, scarred blonde yells. 

“I’m not here to play games...I’m here to fulfill fate’s plan for all of us.” Jocelyn says, approaching the biggest, beefiest one of the bunch-Jonathan Joestar. 

The englishman breaks out in a sweat. “Wh-What do you mean?” Instead of giving him an answer, Jocelyn simply smiles sweetly...and has Viva la Vida punch a hole straight through his stomach. There would be no coming back from this. 

“Why you-!!” One wearing a scarf growls. 

“Mr. Joestar! Keep her distracted while I go and heal him!” Another one, with his hair in a pompadour, says. The two of them begin their advance, only for the scarfed one to start to become transparent. “Wh-What the-?!”

“Like I said, you’re just like dominos. Knock down one and the rest come crashing down.” Jocelyn explains. “I’ve just killed your earliest ancestor, which means the rest of you...will cease to exist!” 

There’s a stunned silence from the 7 Jojos, as if they had trouble comprehending what they had just done. “You Joestars are the reason the universe reset itself, and had things stayed the way they were, that cycle would have repeated forever. This is for the greater good, believe me!” 

“Greater good, my ass! You’re gonna wish you were never-!” Before the scarfed one can finish, he completely vanishes in a green light. 

“Mr. Joest-!” The pompadoured one gasps before he too vanishes. 

“Giorno! Can’t you negate this from happening?!” The scarred man asks, watching the shorter blonde fade away. 

“I wish I could, but Requiem doesn’t seem to affect her...she’s in a class all by herself.” Giorno says, before disappearing. 

“N-No! You’re gonna pay for this, you-!” The girl screams, before vanishing mid-jump. 

“Gyro...I’m sorry...” The jockey says quietly as both he and the stunned-to-silence sailor disappear. 

Finally, Jotaro is the only one left. He seems to have accepted his fate, and he simply grabs onto the brim of his hat. “Good grief...” are naturally, his last words. 

For a bit, Jocelyn is proud of the decimation they’ve caused, but then it dawns on them. Could it be that that Jotaro was the one they were living with?! That would have been terrible if it was! They summon three portals-one for the scarred man, one for the horse, and one for themselves. After the first two vanish, they jump into the last one, which takes them back to the realm. “Dad! DAD!!” They call out. 

Sure enough, another ascended approaches, hearing their desperate cries. “I’m right here, Jocelyn. Something up?” He then notices the look of terror on their face turn into relief. “Uh...Jocelyn?”

“DAD!” They tackle him in a hug, starting to cry. Thank god he was still alive, they had no clue what they would do if he wasn’t. 

This other ascended looks surprised at first, but then gives a small smile. “Good grief...what am I gonna do with you?”

[betweensceneswriter]

Second Wife-Chapter 19 : Breakfast and Bairns

Second Wife Table of Contents

Second Wife on AO3

Previously -  Chapter 18 : Not Gone The Sassenach was dead, but not gone.

"It's a nuisance," she said, looking up to see me still watching. "Everything to do wi' bairns is a nuisance, almost. Still, ye'd never choose not to have them."

"No," I answered softly. "You wouldn't choose that" (Outlander 675).

The time periods on my version are closer to the book than the TV show—on the show, Jamie leaves, exiled with Dougal, and Claire is called to Geillis’s shop the same day. In the book, it’s closer to two weeks after Jamie leaves that Claire is arrested.

     By now, Jamie wasn’t surprised at any post-coital personality fluctuations from Laoghaire.  She woke up and had nothing to say to him, wouldn’t even look at him as she dressed.  He stretched lazily, rolled over, and ignored her.  He needed to live his life independently of Laoghaire’s moods.  If his attitude for the day was determined by her, he’d be miserable all the time.  And he intended to enjoy the relaxed way he felt after last night’s sexual relations; if he was going to be married, he should at least feel this way occasionally.

      Jamie closed his eyes.  Last night after sleeping with Laoghaire he had dreamed of Claire and Frank.  Having never seen the man himself, the Frank of his imagination was a strange mix of Jack Randall and his brother Alex.  With hair cropped short, as Claire described it, he imagined a lanky, loose man, rather than Black Jack Randall’s rigidity, with a face he hated to the depths of his being.  The man who wore that face had torn him from his family and vindictively marked his body forever.  Jamie couldn’t see his back, and his chest hid the scar from removing Randall’s brand on his ribcage, but there was no forgetting feeling so used and broken and violated.  Randall had stolen his manhood for a time, but Claire had stayed with him as he worked to get himself back.

     In his dream, Claire’s belly was ripe with their child.  But instead of her mounting him in the moonlit darkness in Paris, pregnant with Faith, she was climbing atop Frank Randall, pregnant with Jamie’s son.  Or was it Black Jack he saw?  “Find me, Jamie,” she had said.  And God, he could have reached out and killed her.  His baby, her body—and she was giving herself to Frank?

     Ah, he thought, with a sudden flush, covering his face with his hand.  That’s why Laoghaire was angry.  It hadn’t been but an hour or two after they had fallen asleep that he’d dreamed of Claire, and he’d woken up with an erection.  He cringed as he remembered pulling Laoghaire atop him, her legs astride his pelvis.  She was sleepy enough that she didn’t initially object, and her body felt so much like Claire pregnant, voluptuous breasts and curved belly.  His hands and mouth were hungry for her.  But as her mind cleared and she woke, she became angry, pulled herself off him, and turned her back to him.  He’d apologized, of course he had.  But how could he explain himself?  “I’m sorry, lass, I was dreaming of my first wife traveling forward in time and having sex with her first husband while pregnant wi’ my bairn; and jealous, I took advantage of you?”  There was no excuse.

     Jamie was grateful for the distraction of packing and family, going downstairs for breakfast once he had dressed himself.  He was greeted with fervent cries of “Nunka Jamie!!” from four enthusiastic little boys when he entered the dining room, a smile from Joanie and from Ian, and silence from Laoghaire.

      “Paul and I thought we’d visited aplenty yesterday and we could get much done today at home,” Maggie said apologetically.  “But the boys insisted that they wanted to see ‘Nunka Jamie’ again before ye left.”

      “And how could one say no to such faces?” Jenny grinned, placing more scones close to Maggie’s two urchins, mouths stained red with berry juice.

      “Nunka Jamie,” toothless Angus announced loudly.  “Mama has a bairn growing in her tummy.”

      “Wawr!” roared two-year-old Anthony, raising his hands and turning them into claws.

      “Not a BEAR, silly,” said Angus, turning to his little brother.  “A bairN.  A baby.”

      “Bee-bee,” repeated Anthony, his forehead wrinkled.

      “I dinna fink Anfony understands,” said Angus, shaking his head sadly.  Jamie patted the little one on the top of his curly-haired noggin.

      “Really, Cousin Maggie?  Number three?  Congratulations,” said Marsali, bringing in a plate piled high with ham slices.

      “Do you want a baby brother or a baby sister?” Jamie leaned forward to the boys’ level and asked them.

      “Baby…wabbit!”  Anthony announced solemnly. 

     Angus dissolved into giggles.  “Silly Anfony!  Mama can’t make a wabbit!”

     Jamie glanced at Laoghaire, wondering if the interchange was amusing her, but she looked absent, remote.  He looked away.

     Ian was choking on a bannock across the table.  “Maggie,” he said, “perhaps ye should be teaching yer sons a little more about bairns and where they come from.”

      “Anthony is two,” she insisted, shaking her head.  “Plenty of time for that later, ya ken?”

      “So much good news,” sighed Jenny, her hand on Ian’s shoulder, looking with pleasure around the faces at her table.  “Kitty to be married, and another bairn on the way.  And Marsali, a grown-up lass of fourteen!”  She smiled across at Jamie.  “We surely wish ye lived closer, or that ye could stay longer.”

     Jamie had just taken a bite of blueberry compote.  “Aye, but ‘tis planting season.  We canna stay away for long.”

      “Well, maybe the girls can come visit their cousins for a time this summer,” Ian offered.  Wee Janet and Marsali grinned wide-eyed at each other. 

     The time for farewells finally came, and the Balriggan Frasers mounted their horses and headed toward home.

      Laoghaire stared at Jamie’s broad back on Gaoth.  She had woken up to his lust in the darkness.  In a way she felt gratified—she had stirred him enough that he wanted her again, so soon. But she was also angry, bitter, and confused.

     Years ago, he had looked at her, hungry and single-minded.  Once his hands had been drawn to her body like a moth to a candle; once his eager touch and desire drove her mad. After he rescued her in the hall, after the moments in the alcove, Laoghaire had envisioned her future—Jamie as her husband, living with her, sitting across from her at the table,  sharing her bed, taking her body, fathering her children.

     And that is what she had now, Laoghaire thought, tears beginning to well in her eyes.  Why was it failing?  Why wasn’t she happy?

     When Jamie proposed marriage after Hogmanay, Laoghaire had thought finally Jamie would be freely devoted.  All hers. 

     Claire was finally, truly gone.

☆☆☆☆☆

     Ever since Claire had confronted her in the kitchen, Laoghaire had burned with resentment and anger.

     As she replayed the situation in her mind, she became more and more convinced that what she had told Claire was true. Jamie belonged with her. Claire was a usurper, a cuckoo chick that had pushed her out of the nest.  Laoghaire wanted her gone.

     But after seeing Jamie and Claire together in the hall that night, Laoghaire tried to tell herself to stay away. It would only hurt and disturb her to see Jamie with the Sassenach.  She should concentrate on her work.

       “Oh, Laoghaire,” Mrs Fitz called out to her as Laoghaire was about to head home after a hard day’s labor.  Though she stayed with Mrs. Fitz many nights, her da depended on her help with the younger children, and several nights a week he expected her to come home.  Those were the nights he stayed out late at the tavern, drinking.  Laoghaire’s ma had died three years ago, but he still grieved her, and getting soused was the one way he could forget.

     Mrs. Fitz drew close to speak to Laoghaire quietly.  “Remember to bring clean clouts with you from home.  I’m past that time so I dinna keep any now, and ye dinna want to be caught unprepared.”

      “Gran, what d’ye mean?”  Laoghaire asked, confused.

      ‘Isna it about yer time, m’dear?”  With no mother to look after her since she was 12 when her ma died in childbirth, Laoghaire’s grandmother had taken on the mothering role in her life.

     Again?  Laoghaire groaned inwardly.  The curse of Eve, her da called it.  Just another sign reminding the world that God despised women for their role in leading mankind astray, a monthly showing of blood that reminded all that death came to the world because of women.

      “Ye note my courses, Gran?” Laoghaire asked, dumbfounded.

      “Yer as regular as the moon, wee one,” said Mrs. Fitz.  “I imagine it will start anytime.”

     As she counted backward, Laoghaire was astounded that her gran was right.  Well, she would make sure to have a stack of clean clouts ready.

      Walking down the hallway to head out to the stable, Laoghaire was trying to decide what she should make for her family’s supper.  She wasn’t expecting it when John Robert suddenly appeared in front of her, so she startled and nearly fell, but he gently grabbed her elbow and steadied her, as smooth in his movements as he had been with his words.

     Laoghaire pushed past him.  “I dinna want to talk to ye, John Robert.”

     “What’s wrong, lass?” he asked, his eyes registering the chill in her body language.

     Laoghaire had one word for him.  “Married?” It was more a statement, a judgment than a question.

      “It’s no what ye think, lass,” John Robert said.  His hand was on the center of her back, right above her corset, stroking her gently, his fingers tracing the top edge of her shift.  “I love ye.  Can I please speak my case?  Meet me at the tavern, t’night after the moonrise.”

     He was so handsome, Laoghaire felt a pang in her stomach. She wished she could get it back—the way it felt to float down the street confident in her beauty, hopeful about her future, no longer bitter about the Sassenach stealing Jamie from her.  She should say no, but her heart and body said “Just this once.”

      And so it was, that after she fed her family, saw her father head off to the tavern to drink, and tucked her younger siblings into bed, Laoghaire found herself skulking in the shadows to the side of the tavern.

     When John Robert appeared, she hushed him and pulled him into the darkness by the building with her. 

      “My da is in there,” she said.  “I canna stay.  What ye have to say to me, ye need to say here.”

      “I need time to speak to ye, lass,” John Robert insisted.  “He willna find out.”

     She shouldn’t trust him, she knew she shouldn’t, but she pulled the hood of her cloak down over her face and followed him upstairs. When they were sitting in the parlor, John Robert touched her arm compassionately. “What have they been telling you?”

     “The truth,” she said.  “That ye have a wife, and bairns.”

      “Yer the one I truly love.”

      “It doesna matter.  How ye feel doesna change the facts,” she said. “Yer married.”

      “I am married.  And I’m miserable, lass.”  John Robert lamented, his hand on hers.  She tried to feel nothing, but he looked so woeful.  “My wife is pregnant, aye, but she doesna want me.  I’m starving for love and attention.  Being with you was the first comfort I’d had in months. Her family are weak constitutioned, and I’m afraid she’ll die in childbirth.  What will happen to me, if she is gone?  Will ye wait for me?”

      “How long?” Laoghaire asked.

      “Not long,” John said, his eyes and hands straying to the laces of her bodice, “But will you jest let me see ye, look at ye?  Will ye grant me something to give me strength while I wait?”

     She tried to resist, truly she did, but he said such nice things.

     He had been right, though.  She crept home in the darkness and was in her bed before her da came crashing in through the door, tripped across the doorstep in his boots, and soon was snoring drunkenly in his bed.

      When Laoghaire arrived at the castle the next day, the kitchen was buzzing with the newest gossip.  Dougal’s wife had been poisoned, and Geillis Duncan’s husband had died unexpectedly.  Or was it the other way around?  Whatever the facts of the matter, the result, Laoghaire was finally able to gather, was that Dougal had been sent home to mourn his wife, and Colum had angrily sent along Angus, Rupert, and Jamie. 

      “They say,” whispered Saffron, “That the reason Colum is so angry is that Geillis Duncan is with child.  And they say it’s not Arthur Duncan’s bairn.”

      “No,” agreed Fiona, glancing both directions to make sure none but Laoghaire heard, “They say it’s Dougal’s!”

      “And,” Saffron added, “Colum was so mad about Jamie dueling with the MacDonalds that he made him leave the Sassenach here at Castle Leoch.”

      This was new to Fiona, who turned to Saffron with an empathetic look on her face.  “Oh, what a shame,” she said.  “’Twill be hard for the young lovers to be apart.”

     Laoghaire tried to hide her pleasure, but she took some satisfaction in knowing that at least Claire and Jamie weren’t together.  Instead the Sassenach had to stay in the castle, where she continued to work in her surgery, binding up wounds and pounding and mixing potions for any of the castle inhabitants’ ailments or complaints.

       But as Laoghaire thought about ailments and complaints, she also thought of the clean stack of clouts she had brought back from home that now sat on a shelf in her cupboard in Mrs. Fitz’s room.  Several days went by, three, then four.  And still, her courses did not come. “Regular as the moon,” Mrs. Fitz had said.

     As the days went by, Laoghaire also began to see John Robert in a more realistic light.  She would come around the corner in the castle and find him leaning up against a wall, speaking flirtatiously to one of the ladies’ maids.  The next thing she knew, he would be putting his hands on one of the ladies of the castle as he helped her up on her freshly-shod horse.  It become clearer with time that John Robert MacLeod’s word could not be trusted.

     She truly didn’t want to believe it, but as the days went by, Laoghaire became more and more convinced.

      John Robert was a rake, and she was pregnant with his baby. 

On to Chapter 20 : The Waning O’ The Moon Desperate times call for desperate measures.

[pedroscurls]

Title: Just Relax...

@may85​ requested: Hey Jamie! If requests are still open, can I request a Denny Duquette imagine where he and the reader are on a date at his house after he's seen the stress that the reader has been under for the past few week? Fluff and if it goes that route smut? (Doesn't have to be smut, though!)

Character(s): Denny Duquette and Reader Summary: After a long week, Denny tries to take your mind off the stress.  Word Count: Warning: SMUT!!!  Author’s Note: Thank you, (other) Jamie for this request! You know how much of a soft spot I have for Denny and I’m so glad that you sent this in! I love that the roles are reversed and it’s Denny that will be catering to the Reader! So, thank you for the request, @may85!!! I hope you like it! Enjoy! :-)

Forever Taglist: @disfigured-it-out || @chunex || @jasoncrouse || @oceanicseries || @dixonsbait || @negan--is--god || @see-you-then-winchester || @sable-the-trans-ham || @k4veggies || @labyrinthofheartagrams || @purplemuse89 || @ladyynegan || @scentofpineandhazelnutlattes

(GIF Source: @jdm-negan-mcnaughty)

“Hey, you said no working,” Denny says.

You look up from your phone and sigh. “Denny, I have to check this email though…”

He shakes his head, snatching the phone from your hand. He sets it aside and pulls you closer to him while you both remain seated on his couch.

“You promised me no working. Don’t tell me you’re the type of woman that goes back on her promises?” he smiles.

“Not at all…”

“Then, no working. We’re on a date.”

You smile, leaning against him. You slowly shut your eyes and revel in his strong arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace.

You had been going out with Denny for the past four months now and after the first couple of dates, you would alternately spend the night at each other’s houses. It was strange how strong of a connection you two already had.

That night, Denny took you out for a movie. Afterwards, you two ate dinner at a local restaurant. Your relationship with him was slowly developing into something more serious, but when he noticed how stressed you looked, he made you promise that work was going to be the last thing on your mind.

He stares at you, gently cupping your cheek.

“You’re spacing out, [Y/N]…”

“I’m sorry, Denny.”

“For what?”

“Can I just get my phone back?” you ask.

Denny sighs, “Nope. Now, don’t ask again or I will break it in half.”

You widen your eyes and gasp quietly, “You wouldn’t dare!”

He grins, “Want to test out that theory then?”

“Fine. Fine. You win.”

“Come on.” he says, standing up.

“Where are we going?”

“You ask a lot of questions,” he laughs, taking your hand and pulling you up with him.

“I’m a curious gal.”

“Oh, I know that for sure.”

You laugh quietly, following him to his backyard. You bite your lower lip at the sight of a large blanket laid out on the grass with a bottle of wine atop of it. His backyard was illuminated by string lights and the moon casting a bright glow.

You look up at him and smile, instantly releasing his hand to wrap your arms around him.

“Well, what is this for?” he smiles, wrapping his long arms around you tightly.

“You’re just so romantic. It’s sweet,” you say, pulling back to peck his lips.

“I know you were having a stressful week and I wanted to do something nice for you. You know, take your mind off of it.”

He leads you to the blanket and you remove your shoes and socks to sit down on the blanket. Denny pours wine into each of the glasses before handing you one. You smile and kiss his cheek before sipping the light liquid. You shut your eyes and lean against him, feeling his arm wrap around your waist.

“Thank you, Denny. I needed it.”

“I know you did. You want to talk about it?”

You look up at him and shake your head. “Not really, no. I just – I want to be with you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that you are, huh?”

Denny sips from his own glass of wine before he sets it aside. He takes your glass and places it away from the blanket. He lies you down and pulls you into his arms immediately. Resting your head against his chest, Denny’s hand rests lightly along your shoulder as his fingertips trace your soft skin.

“I’m so glad that this week over and that I’m with you right now.”

Denny smiles, looking down at you. He brings his free hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear. He kisses your forehead and pulls back enough to look directly into your eyes.

“I’m glad that I was able to see you. I was afraid you’d cancel on me. I know how much work is so important to you,” he whispers.

“I’d never cancel on you.”

“You sure? Because you did that one time and –”

You narrow your eyes, playfully slapping his arm. “Stop lying.”

Denny erupts into a fit of quiet laughter, pecking your lips. “I’m just joking. I’m funny, huh?”

“If you say so,” you tease.

Denny smiles. His eyes begin to sparkle as usual and with the moon casting a reflection in his orbs, you find yourself stuck in a trance as if he put you under his spell. Whenever you were with him, all your worries and stress disappeared.

You and Denny slowly lie there in complete silence. Oddly enough, it was comfortable and soothing. You were glad that you didn’t need conversation to make this relationship work. It was as if your intense eye contact was doing all the talking for the both of you.

“What?” you ask.

“You’re just so beautiful.”

You blush, biting your lower lip.

“Yes. I got you to blush tonight. Point for me.”

You laugh quietly, shaking your head. “You’re a dork.”

“But I’m cute, right?”

“Eh. You’re all right.”

Denny widens his eyes in fake surprise. Slowly, he lies you onto your back and hovers above you. He settles himself between the space of your legs, pushing them apart as he rests his hands at either side of your head.

“Now, why are you lying?”

“Just doing exactly what you did to me,” you giggle, sticking your tongue out at him.

Denny smiles, tilting his head and staring down at you lovingly. Ever since he told you about his heart transplant, you wondered if he was truly all right. There had been times where you would catch him breathing heavily or out of breath, but he always reassured you.

He even took you to one of his doctor appointments to make you realize that he was one hundred percent healthy.

“You know, if I miss an email or a phone call –”

Denny shakes his head, pressing a finger to your lips. “No. Talk. Of. Work.”

You smile, nodding and parting your lips. He arches a brow and slowly slides his finger past your lips, groaning when he watches your tongue slowly swirl around his digit.

“You’re teasing…” he whispers.

“Mm, is it working?”

“By working, do you mean am I getting hard? Then yes. It is most certainly working,” he says, pushing his hips into you; you feel his bulge almost immediately.    

“Denny…”

He smiles, pulling his hand away from your lips. Denny runs a hand down your side to your hip, grasping it tightly before pushing his hips further into you.

“Let me help you destress, okay?”

You nod, looking up at him. “Okay… Are we going to go inside though?”

Denny grins mischievously. “Nope, but don’t worry. I’ll keep you warm… to the hilt,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your earlobe.

You gasp, shutting your eyes. You immediately grab the end of your t-shirt, pulling it over your head to toss aside. He looks down at you with a primal look in his eyes, ravaging you like a predator would do to their prey.

You reach behind you and unclasp your bra, removing it from your body. As you lie on the blanket clad in only your jeans, you shiver in anticipation. Denny’s large hands run upwards to your breasts, grasping them tightly into the pit of his palms.

You gasp quietly, shutting your eyes as your arch your back into his touch. He massages you gently, his thumbs brushing against your hardening nipples.

Denny groans quietly, leaning down to press his lips lightly along your collarbone. He inches his way downwards until he attaches his lips around your nipple. You moan quietly, moving a hand to his hair as he sucks the nub gently, flicking his tongue repeatedly. Denny pays equal attention to your other breast, moving his lips across your chest. As he pays attention to your breasts, you move your hands to undo the button of his jeans.

He pulls back, licking his lips to remove his white long-sleeve sweater. Denny then pushes his jeans down his hips before he sits back to remove it completely. You take this opportunity to remove your jeans and panties, setting it aside on the grass.

Denny pulls his boxers away from his body, his member springing upwards. You bite your lower lip, reaching down to slowly stroke him. He gasps in surprise and rests his hands down near your head before he moves his hips closer to your aching heat. He allows his tip to brush against your entrance, staring into your eyes.

“Denny…”

He smiles at the sound of your moans from the teasing, bringing your hips closer to his. At the movement, Denny slides into you and you moan.

“W – What if someone hears us?” you whimper, feeling him move slowly within you.

“Then I guess they’re going to get a good show,” he winks.

You try to playfully push him away at his answer, but he grabs your hand to place above your head. He groans at your tightness, staring directly into your eyes. Slowly, he allows your hands to entwine with another, his hips pushing into yours in a slow, dreadful pace.

You urge him to move faster by raising your hips, causing him to slip further into your depths. He growls, leaning down to gently nip along your jawline down to your exposed neck. Slowly, Denny begins to slam into you, releasing your hands to rest onto the grass for stability and leverage.

You wrap your arms around him and gasp in surprise when he pulls you onto his lap. Denny extends his legs outwards and sits up with you, resting you on his lap as he slowly guides you along his length. Your fingertips run across the fading scar on his chest, pressing a soft kiss against it.

Your legs extend outwards, sliding along Denny’s manhood. You keep your arms wrapped around his strong frame, staring into his eyes as he brings his hips upwards with each small thrust. He growls, tossing his head back at the feel of your tight walls sliding down his length repeatedly in a tight vice.

Denny moves both hands to your hips, gripping it tightly before he begins to slam upwards. You moan loudly, shutting your eyes tightly at his large member thrusting repeatedly into your depths.

“Denny… Oh god!”

He grins, looking down at you. His eyes deviate to your bouncing breasts before he feels a tightening at his lower abdomen. Denny knew he was close, so he places her onto her back and slams into her repeatedly.

When he feels her walls tightening around him and her body begin to shake, Denny buries his face against her neck. He wraps an arm around her waist and continues his thrusts, allowing her to ride out her climax before he pulls out to release himself along her lower abdomen.

Denny groans, gently nipping at her collarbone before he lies back next to her. He gathers her into his arms once more and reaches for a napkin and their wine glasses. He hands her the glass and wipes his release from her body before setting the napkin aside.

You look up at him, smiling to yourself. You sip from your glass and lean up to peck his lips. Just as you were going to pull away, Denny rests a hand on your cheek and keeps your lips pressed against his.

“You taste like wine,” he mumbles against your lips.

You smile, pulling back to gently nip at his bottom lip. “Mm, tastes good?”

“Definitely.”

You laugh quietly, downing your glass before setting it aside. You bury your face against his neck and hold onto him tightly, not caring if his neighbors heard your loud moans.

“That was great…” you tell him.

Denny looks down at you and grins, “Yeah?”

“It’s always great with you.”

Denny maintains his smile. He cups your cheek and brushes his thumb across your soft skin gently. “Spending the night?”

“Only if you want me to.”

“Of course I do. I plan on catering to your every need this weekend. No phone either.”

“But Denny –”

“Do not make me slap that ass, baby,” he chuckles.

You smile, leaning up to peck his lips. “Oddly enough, I’d enjoy that.”

He narrows his eyes. “You know, I just got a heart transplant almost a year ago, but you’re torturing me with that image alone.”

“Sorry, but not really.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get there,” he smiles.

You giggle, sighing contentedly as you feel a shiver run up your spine. Denny takes notice of this and stands up, not bothering to pick up his clothes, or yours, and lifts you off your feet. He tucks an arm underneath your knees as his other arm wraps around the middle of your back, holding you bridal style.

He leads you back inside his house, leading you up the stairs and into his bed. When he sets you down, you immediately scramble to your side of the bed. Denny chuckles, climbing in next to you.

You rest your cheek against his shoulder and smile to yourself, relaxing into his soft mattress.

“Can I get my phone?” you ask hesitantly.

Denny narrows his eyes. “Nope, and that’s final. It’s just you and me this weekend, okay? Just you and me.”

You smile, nodding in agreement. “Okay… I’m fine with that.”

“Good, because I wasn’t taking no for an answer.”

Denny leans down to peck your lips lightly, pulling away afterwards to rest his head back onto the pillow. He holds you closer to his side and you snuggle immediately, wrapping your arm over him as your hand rests lightly against his scar.

“Good night, Denny.”

“Good night, beautiful…”

[jellybeanisrockin]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To: by rainbowsociety

I warned you,,..... 1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? sort of but i mostly just doubt everythings existence and human intelligence and emotions 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1 maybe 2 if i'm walking past a mirror 3. The person you would never want to meet? that dude from that one horror movie you know who,,,,,,that guy,,,. 4. What is your favorite word? bellemy, contingency, or salutations 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? idk a dead one 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? wtf I'm ugly 7. What shirt are you wearing? a dr. suess shirt i know i'm such a charmer right 8. What do you label yourself as? an anxious lesbian with crippling depression (i kno join the club) 9. Bright room or dark room? meh dark probably 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? looking up the awkward lesbians guide to life on tumblr 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? -11/12 12. Who told you they loved you last? my dad probably since i am Forever Alone™️ 13. Your worst enemy? trump that bastard 14. What is your current desktop picture? a pic i took of the sky 15. Do you like someone? unfortunately yes cri (Forever Alone™️) 16. The last song you listened to? Breakdown by Jack Johnson 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Mike Pence 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? these turdnuggets in my english class who keep complaining how gay people try to force their gayness on the poor innocent heteros ugh 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? shower me with needless affection and cuddle me (or buy me some pez either works) 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) idk i guess my facial area is ok i have,,,um,,hair? that is clean,,,,,,?, 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? get myself a nice bod and go hang with some hot ladies 🔥🔥🔥 (jk id probably just be a lazy ass and watch netflix all day or something) 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? noooooooo,.,...,,,,,,,..cri 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? geese and hmm and that whenever i use the restroom i have to check behind the shower curtains to make sure no ones hiding there 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. ummm a incredibly large thing with just that expensive ham meat stuff 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? caanddy cuz im an idiot 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? id sell it to someone cuz traveling makes me anxious 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? bunch of expensive vodka or moonshine that i could sell to get mooooooneeeeeey 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?  everyone has to be gay 29. What is your favorite expletive? hot damn 30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? electronic device 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? end of 2nd grade..... 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! oh CANADA🇨🇦!!!! 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? my older friends brother 34. What was your last dream about? i was a fugitive and jumping and hiding on roofs 35. Are you a good kisser? hhhhhhhh i d o n t k n o w hhhhhh 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yess 37. Have you ever built a snowman? kindof he was mainly mulch 38. What is the color of your socks? white (im so boring) 39. What type of music do you like? chill or rock music also oldies like Diana Ross and You make me feel so young 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? i domt like em -_- 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) whhhaaaataresports??????..?,,. 43. Do you have any scars? yes one in the middle of my nose 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? an architect or product designer maybe 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my body or smile 46. Are you reliable? kind of im forgettful but super loyal if thats what u mean 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? when will you get a gf u assicle 48. Do you hold grudges? not really 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? narwhal and horse 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? rainbow dick tats or maybe how do dogs and whales hiccup 51. Are you a good liar? i actually really enjoy small lying and i am quite good at white lies and tricking people into believing random things but i dont usually lie about something important 52. How long could you go without talking? probably a while 53. What has been you worst haircut/style? bangs shudder 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? yes 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? eh kinda 56. What do you like on your toast? dont like toast yuck 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? a technical drawing of a subway sandwich and its ingredients along with a very detailed description to my dad 58. What would be you dream car? RAINBOWS!!!!! 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. yes as well as some other,..,things., 60. Do you believe in aliens? yes 61. Do you often read your horoscope? sometimes 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Q 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dragons 64. What do you think about babies? ehhhh they're ugly

[athina39]

ibo s2 e14/e15 thoughts!

a bit late and long so here goes!!!

• • • re: OP song & symbolism - so the flower that features prominently in the OP is the red spider lily (lycoris). now, it's possible to read too much into op sequences, but since lycoris is pretty well-known in jap hanakotoba/legends AND gundam ibo has lots of flower symbolism already in place in canon (iron flower, ice flower, etc), i'm guessing that there's definite meaning behind it here. so lycoris has a LOT of legends attached to it. it's generally attached to death/funerals/reincarnation. the flower appears mostly in Mika's scene at the beginning & end, as well as Orga looking out into the distance with the flower petals fanning around him. so, some legends!

(a) when its flower blooms, the leaves fall; when the leaves grow back, the flowers wilt. the corresponding legend is that the flower & the leaf are star-crossed lovers fated to never meet again. it's interesting that the blooming/wilting has been foreshadowed in the S2OP1 as well (the one where Mika leans down in the field, then Orga rises to his seat).

(b) legend/hanakotoba for lycoris states that lycoris will be seen blooming if two person who may never meet again (aka, death) meet (for the last time). so definitely death flags between orga & mika, as they both see the flowers bloom (though it's leaning towards orga being the one left behind by mika's death, given that orga's observing the flower whirlwind)

(c) lycoris' other hanakotoba is it being the flower blooming on the sanzu river, therefore helping guide the dead to the reincarnation. so both orga & mika dying is also plausible, and they'll be "reincarnated" (e.g. their wills will live on tekkadan, if the Baby Project succeeds, then both kudelia and atra will get pregnant, one will be baby orga, another baby mika, or something)

(d) or it could just be trolling because the spider lilies ARE pretty lol

• • • re: The Baby Project - can i just say how much of a dick move that is? i know it was a possibility since before the break, but hearing atra explain her idea explicitly, confirming all my worst fears, is just. wow. what the fuck.

(a) personally - i hate hearing that rationale of "have a baby to have a fulfilled life". i hear it all the time in my own life; i've heard it a lot of times with others. and i gotta tell you - it doesn't work. if the person already has other priorities in life / don't even care for babies, having a child added to their life isn't gonna solve whatever problem they have. which is basically what atra wants - he wants mika to not continue pursuing his life and be fulfilled instead by raising a family.

(b) the ENTIRE TIME they were discussing it - they have NOT, for one second, thought about what MIKA HIMSELF wanted. it's all about what they think is correct, what they want. true, mika's on the self-destructive path - but it's for a reason. it's his decision, his resolve. he doesn't even want girls (see s1e1, for the often-forgotten line of mika not caring for women - said way earlier than orga's line). he doesn't even want to live outside of orga's orders (see, every episode ever). he wants to farm, but given that he knows the state of his body, he doesn't even want that anymore. he thinks babies are like ham. he doesn't want to live in peacetime. this is not a guy who wants to live a happy ever after w/babies involved.

(b.1) AND EVEN IF, atra/kudelia manages to get pregnant - what then? obvious choice would be mika will continue to fight. if he dies (which is foreshadowed to hell and back), what will happen to the baby? to atra? to kudelia? they'll be single moms. baby will not know their father. if he lives - he'll still be crippled. and i'm not saying crippled people can't be parents - but he's gotta be connected to barbatos to move properly. he can't fully help/support in raising the kid. IF mika has a change of heart and discovers that BABIES!!!, then what? who the fuck would fight all the enemies tekkadan made? they'll fucking lose everything and they'd all be dead/not have livelihood.

(b.2) again. they DON'T EVEN DISCUSS WHAT MIKA WANTS. and this is my main beef with atra (&kudelia, to a lesser extent). atra is mika's supposed childhood friend. orga and mika met each other first, but orga/mika met atra fairly early too. the three of them have lived/survived/interacted with each other since they were young. atra... should know that mika listens to orga. everyone in tekkadan knows it. even merribit, who has only joined them for a few months, knows it. even hush, the newest recruit knows it. atra, who's known them the longest... SHOULD know it. and she knows orga. why couldn't she talk to orga if she feels mika's being too headstrong? if she has to go around mika anyway, why not talk to orga first??????????????????? (it's a lesser extent to kudelia because she hasn't known them that long and she might have reservations talking to orga, as their relationship is more business compared to atra/orga, BUT STILL.) everyone fucking knows that to get mika to listen, orga just has to say the words.

(b.2.5) they don't know orga's concerns about pushing mika (as those are between orga/naze, orga/biscuit, orga/mika, to a lesser extent, orga/merribit & orga/old man (lol)) are they... worried that orga will not listen? doubtful, as orga's always shown himself to be The Good Boss. are they... worried that it will not work because mika will not listen? because news flash, if mika doesn't listen, it's because he doesn't want it. therefore if they push through the baby plan / or do whatever to prevent mika from fighting ----- they're forcing mika to do something he doesn't wanttttttttt

(b.3) i've seen some support The Baby Project because atra's idea of a mika harem was inspired by naze's....... and just no. atra has completely missed the point of naze's harem if she wants to tie mika down. as the latest episode confirms (RIP), naze's harem isn't a standard harem in which they're all tied to naze - instead, they're women who naze invites to attach to himself as they're lost/at their lowest points/still finding their way, and they're welcome (i would say encouraged, really) to "leave" their attachment to naze once they're steadier, more secure in their life/life choices. it's the exact opposite of tying someone down and forcing naze (mika, if we go for the comparison) to be the pillar who can never leave. the women in naze's harem aren't chains holding him down. naze isn't a pillar holding them to one place. turbines stay together because they want to - and they know that they can leave if they want to.

(b.3.5) it's not as heavy-handed, but the latest episode also shows a different turbines parallel - naze/amida/turbines vs orga/mika/tekkadan.

- naze/amida met way before turbines (orga/mika met before tekkadan/cgs) - naze (orga) is more of the silver-tongue, businessman who hires/recruits someone (amida/mika) who's more into battles, but doesn't physically look it (i know, women and kids can be strong too, but amida/lafter/azee had a lot of lines before saying about how women/kids don't look like they should be in battle, but look at them now, that sort of thing, so it's an accepted way of thinking in ibo-verse) - naze/orga about accepting the physical "flaws"/marks left behind by fighting on amida (scars)/mika (paralysis) - naze/amida being the "parents" of the group they're in, a group that allows people from all ~walks of life join, but allow them to live whenever they need to (e.g. TAKAKI.) - naze/amida otp, so... orga/mika otp too lol

ANYWAY. good god, i can write a few more about this, but just. the entire concept is so WTF ATRA NO

• • • re: vidar's "i want to understand mcgillis' motives": NOOOOOOOOOOOOO lmao i had a mini heart attack when vidar used "shinyuu" to say "true intentions" re: mcgillis, because you know what else is a "shinyuu"?! that was used in a dialogue re: gaelio/mcgillis?! it's shinyuu = one true friend, the term mcgillis used to describe his relationship w/gaelio. and okada is very good about all these dialogue references all throughout so i'm confident that this was on purpose.

• • • re: Akihiro/Lafter: YES PLEASE

• • • re: the other plot points: so worried about mika's impending death, about azee & cute mechanic girl (they're not in the op), vidar (bec he's along the dead people banner in the op), teiwaz get your shit together, etc

phew that was a lot lol

[oceangl1tter]

revising became poetry

revise(v.)://

1560s, "to look at again," from Middle French reviser (13c.), from Latin revisere "look at again, visit again, look back on," frequentative of revidere (past participle revisus), from re- "again" (see re-) + videre "to see" (from PIE root *weid- "to see"). Meaning "to look over again with intent to improve or amend" is recorded from 1590s. Related: Revised; revising.

I haven’t written here in a long time. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing that I’m here again writing things I should check-mark off when I find a therapist.  Hurting is a process like poetry. Poetry, unlike prose, is a combination of language that is there and language that isn’t. Hurting is the same. The plan was clear. The idea was that I’d get better and then we could be a together. We could have hurt & healed together. Why did you make me do it alone? To forgive you is to forgive myself. I am unearthing a thousand pains. I let it hurt again. I let the things that slipped by me hit again. Thousands of me are unearthing. They would not cry with me; they would cry with the world.

Mom asks me again if I’m coming back for thanksgiving break and I say no. She teasingly asks if I have a boyfriend and my sister chimes in that it’s okay if I do and that I should tell her, yes or no. When I hang up I feel like throwing up. are there any other things she can ask  i honestly felt like bawling my little poor pea eyes out im in love with a girl i didnt say i said i dont know and i hung up i say i had a falling out with someone i say its better if i dont come back for thanksgiving break mom says its ok since she doesnt do anything anyways strange mercies all around i say theres nothing left for me there here anywhere anyway but i didnt say it i had it in my head when i hung up im supposed to be a bridesmaid but honestly i didnt even know them half of my life and i read back and i realized i say the exact things my mom says cause shes a means to an end to everyone else or atleast she thinks she is but also cause i let it go i let it go cause its okay to be let go and its ok to let it go and im writing this stupid cliche melodramatic shit and im supposed to be someone soon even though no ones wiating for me to but im waiting for me to which is some meta shit but when does it start but when but when does it start right now i feel it not starting its not starting it shoudl start soon i searched far and wide for it to fix itself i stretched my wee hand in there and i couldnt find it and i could not find the thing that made me feel like an empty lima bean so ifigured it must be a fundamental thing because i can not find the thing and i can not fix the thing and i realize while painting i come across an issue i cant fix i look at the painting and its not right u just have a feeling that its not right its like writing poems u read it u write a line and u know its not right u read it it just aint it so what i do is i maek sure i destroy it real good get my palette knife and just scrape it up till u dont even know what it was originally and maybe thats just what it is now  thet hing that is inside me a sickness ehavy in my throat heavy in my liver heavy in my kidney bones heavy maybe that is what it is i took a palette knife and i just caked things on until u cant even c what the thing underneath was whats the thing underneath surprise its a fucking white canvas can u believe it after all this time and honestly whats the hurry cause oil paint never dries today i ate lunchables which were a fucking abominatinon i really paid 3 dollars for cracker cheese and circle hams and 2 oreos if i wanted to know what hunger felt like i should have just went to my room hid under hte covers and hugged myself that must be what hunger is like tyring to pull memories that u think u have but u dont have them anymore like eating lunchables imagingin g  ah yes circle ham cracker and cheese block that is what packed lunch is supposed to taste like i remember it so clearly i remember it like a full moon i remember it like a clear sky above my lunchable cause in front of hunger i am as full as i can be

and i think tht this should last forever i mean i cant eb feeling this forever right but i have been and ithought i coudl fix it in time but does hte body even know what time is the body remember swhat the mind doesnt my mind doesnt remember whwat it feels to be in love and love somoene or feel the l ove seep in honey as hot as if u were to put ur tongue on a stove  but my skin does and it shakes and it shakes trying to rattle it out the sickness out the love & anguish out wash it out mouthwash rinse it out showerwash today i originally had the cliff bar in my hand and not the lunchables but healthy granola bars made me feel too pure so i put them away and i was going to buy peach rings but they also made me think of a toothache so i put it away and i stood in front of hte candy section for a long time not really lookign for anything but thinking atleast i have the guise of a decision free will really doesnt exist when the thing thats inside of u doesnt move no matter how much u will it to, free the beast yes back into the circus back to the casinos back to 25 years ago when ur mother first put on her work uniform and sold her life like that and i spent 1 month cashiering and i thought that this couldnt possibly last forever but for some it does and i now know why things happen the way they do bc they couldnt have happened any other way like i said free will does not exist thank u and welcome to my tedtalk it was 8pm when i started and i have to say 8pm is a very significant time for me because that is when i would lock the doors and shut myself in a place i call homenothome and i sat on the toilet seat and i waited for this girl who was nice until w ewere both not nice anymore but that was before after because before before iw ould stay in the living room and cry myself awake until id smell a scent i ffiound familiar boys and alcohol are an attractive mix until u find that they dont care about u and i wonder if i can find other latchkey kids that would stare at their reflection in their floorboards and pass the time like that when th only other person that remembers u and knows u is ur reflection in the tv orthe floorboards and ithink i shoudl speak to a therapist bc there avery more bad things that i thin k is the reaosn i do not like hugs on the other hand sexual things and not flinchign when a boy touchse u in a not appropriate manner atleast  make me feel osme ssort of way even if it is disgust and i realzlie there are worst things than not being with the person i love because i dnt know wher eth esickness comes from i learned hate when i laid nex t to u and i couldnt get rid of it and smometimes im a scar i try to wipe away for u i tried to wipe away for u i have succeeded and this girl who was nice waited for me until we were both not nice anymore but that was before after which is to say that she would not do it for me anymore which is to say i know loss too well which is to say she was an excepption after which is to say i gave myself a strange mercy which is to say i had done it ofr her even when i was not what she needed which is to say i should do it fo rmyself which is to say i dnt know if i can bc ive already done eveyrhting that i oculd have and i did not want it to be like this i thought i could do it i thouhtght i could be good again i can be good this was supposed to be kind and nice but again it is not and i did not want for u to hold my pain but it hoguht u would like to i wouldl have liked to have held ur pain too.