#when I say I love them sm ​you guys have no idea

[milkmily]

slides into your asks.

May I...perhaps...drop some Mr.Crawl hcs?

I need fluff as much as the next guy ngl.

Sososososo Mr. Crawling and a reader that has cats. You see, he has little idea of what humans use to express affection. He knows hugs and headpats because even as a spirit, he never stopped craving contact, but anything beyond that, like kisses, leaves him a little dumbfounded. Like, the first time you gave him a kiss, he thought you were gonna bite him, and he asked if you were tryna eat him. (He did warm up to kisses eventually, but you have to teach him what it means)

Anyway, he sees cats greeting him and you with headbutts and starts doing it to you, like, you'll sit down and get a gentle headbutt when he wants attention. Also, he kneads your shoulders sometimes, and you never really told him to stop because free massage ykno?

Also, the cats love him, you come home to him and like your cats and one random stray that somehow got in all basking in the sun in a huge pile. They enjoy loafing on him and don't feel threatened since he's usually on the same level as them<3

I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HIM. MR CRAWLING ILYSM‼️‼️

I LOVE MR. CRAWLING TOOOOO❤️

Also omg this is so cute!

Also if Mr. Crawling sees a stray cat, I feel like he'd secretly carry it back to readers apartment/house and then Reader is like wtf where did this orange cat come from?

And Mr. Crawling, that cat and your cats are all cuddling up on him as he giggles and pats every one of them. "Pet, pet, pet" he'd say as he plays with them. Or any stray pet honestly! But sadly you can't keep many so you had to give leave them at a shelter. :( Mr. Crawling was sad. But he's still fine with the friend cats he has at home.

I LOVE MR CRAWLING SM AHHH HES SO CUTE I LOVE HIM 😭❤️

[sserrafeim]

The bond doesn’t “snap” for Azriel. It’s a small click. It’s like putting the last puzzle piece in its place. It doesn’t sweep him off his feet. It’s like coming home after a long day at work. Because he’s always felt at peace with Gwyn.

[sorikkung]

people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh

[detritivoresquad]

Ik the new show is laughably bad but and so scooby doo is on everyones minds but im going to start throwing shit if I have to hear tumblr user #258 talking about how THEY would make an adult scooby doo. Not everyones ideas are bad this website is just too predictable and annoying sometimes

[lovlidollie]

hii can i request for crybaby!reader? >_< From what i can understand, Rafe is mean to her but he knows when to stop (does he?), so i imagine the first time she does something that pisses him off, like wearing a very short dress to some party or posting a very revealing selfie, obviously she doesn't do it with bad intentions, nor to make him angry, but that doesn't stop him from going completely crazy about it and filling her with messages and she doesn't understand why he's so angry :( then he can see in person that she doesnt really get it but he still acts mean for a while cause he loves seeing her all confused and teary :3

u r absolutely correct, rafe is so so so mean to her sometimes but he knows when he’s gone too far n when he should stop (theoretically) i love this sm i hope u enjoy lovely !

crybaby!reader who’s finally got the courage to put on the cute lil dress that she bought impulsively a couple weeks ago. it’s white and lacy and it makes her feel pretty! she even did her makeup and spritzed on extra perfume! she was sad that her rafey wouldn’t be able to come coz he was too busy doing business with barry, but she was sure that he’d like the dress too c:

she’s so excited to get out of the house n party with her friends that she doesn’t realise the dress is a teensy tiny bit too short. topper was hosting the party n when she shows up his eyes widen and his mouth drops, because he knew for a fact rafe would never let his girl wear something so short without him there. she greets him with a hug, n she’s so sweet that she thanks him for having her over.

a couple drinks in and crybaby!reader’s having the time of her life. she’s swaying about with her friends, giggling n having fun, smiling so wide when one of them pulls out their phone to snap a pic. she’s such a lightweight that she’s already tipsy n a little dizzy. the harsh light of her screen hurts her eyes but she manages to repost her friends story to hers! it’s such a cute pic she thinks, just as a ping comes through.

rafey ♡

the fuck do you think you’re wearing?

instantly her mood drops n a frown replaces her smile. did he — did he not like her dress? did he think it was ugly? already, she feels that dreadful lump rise up in her throat n she has to excuse herself to the bathroom.

crybaby

um

just a new dress i got

she waits with baited breath for his response, heart stuttering at the three bouncing bubbles. she’s biting her lips, leg bouncing anxiously against the tile.

rafey ♡

you seriously thought it was a good idea

you must be dumber than i thought

she promptly bursts into tears. she hates making him mad, it makes her feel like she’s disappointed him n that he doesn’t like her anymore.

crybaby

didnt

think it was that big of a deal :( jus thiught it was cute

on the other side of the screen rafe’s brows are furrowed, scowl deepening at each of her words. he’s been with her long enough to know that the typos are because her eyes are too blurry to type properly.

rafey ♡

‘cute’?

think your ass hanging out is ‘cute’?

think dressing up like a slut is ‘cute’ huh

the second i’m not around you go and do this

she’s ruined her makeup by this point, mascara running down her cheeks and lip wobbling so hard she can’t stop it even if she wanted to.

crybaby

m really sorry

i didnt mean to make u mad

promise rafey i didnt know it was short

jus really wantd to look ncie n pretty for u

rafey ♡

do you have any idea

how many guys probably stared at your ass tonight

it’s like you like to piss me off on purpose the fuck

fucking shit

there’s a three minute pause where rafe doesn’t respond or say anything at all and it has her losing her mind. she spams him with messages, apologising over and over again, telling him that she didnt mean to, that she’d do whatever he wanted if it meant he wasn’t mad. finally he responds;

rafey ♡

stay the fuck where you are.

coming to get your ass.

the full stops make her think that he’s really really mad at her. she sits there, hands shaking so hard she drops her phone. some douche yells behind the bathroom door, complaining that he has to take a piss n she has no choice but to open it and wobble off. self-consciously, she keeps pulling the hem of her dress down, teetering on her little kitten heels as she unsteadily moves down the stairs. she sees topper, concern filling his features once he notices her wet face. he sets his drink down, striding over immediately to lead her to a quiet corner of the house. top doesn’t say much, grimaces when he gets a text on his phone a few minutes later and gets up to leave. crybaby!reader’s too out of it to care. she just — doesn’t understand. doesn’t understand why rafe’s so mad at her :(

she rubs her eyes, smearing eyeshadow n glitter everywhere, and looks up just in time to see top walk back with rafe in tow. his lips are pressed into a straight line, jaw clenched, and eyes stormy. she stands up, stumbling into his arms. she wants nothing more but to be held n kissed n told that it was okay.

“top.” he says straightforwardly, giving him the signal to leave. rafe looks down at his girl, heart clenching at how ruined she looks. he knows he was being mean, he knows he shouldn’t have said half of what he said. he sucks on his teeth and holds her by the shoulders, eyeing her up and down. he can’t deny that she looks good. the dress flattered her, emphasised her pretty legs, n he feels a thrill of arousal go through him as he thinks of ripping the pathetic excuse of a dress off her.

“‘m really — hic — real sorry daddy, pl-please don’ be mad. please.” crybaby’s eyes are so red n puffy it almost makes rafe change his mind. almost.

“shit’s shorter than it was in the picture. the fuck were you — what the fuck were you even thinking huh? lemme guess, y’weren’t, right? i gotta do all the thinking f’you. can’t even leave y’by yourself for five minutes before you’re strippin’.” he’s got that mean, mocking tone that makes her wanna shrivel up n die. despite wanting to see how much longer he could draw this out, n as much as loves seeing her all teary n confused, guilt chips away at him. rafe opens his arms and flicks his head, and she crashes into him with a sob. past all her sniffles and wails she manages a, “‘m real��� really sorry for disa— disappointin’ you.” she can barely get the words out before a fresh wave of tears overcome her.

rafe sighs deeply, letting her cry into his chest. “jus’ tryna protect you, what part of that don’t you get, kid.” he rubs her head gently, coaxing her into a calmer state. “not all guys are good guys. it’s fine if y’want to wear short shit, jus’ not when ‘m not there.” she nods furiously, agreeing with him instantly n it makes rafe feel high.

“none of this cryin’ shit now, hm? y’didn’t disappoint me, kiddo. ‘m sorry — uh — sorry f’bein’ so mean t’you. dad’s gotta be mean sometimes, y’know? it’s the only way he can be sure it’ll get through t’ya. gonna go home now — y’gonna come home w’daddy ’n you can show him your pretty dress there, ‘kay?” rafe pulls off his jacket and wraps it around her waist, covering the back of her thighs n her peeking ass. she cowers into his side, gripping his shoulder tightly, afraid that he’d leave her there.

he tugs her closer, leans down and presses a kiss at the crown of her head. “attagirl, there we go.”

[rosenclaws]

Worst!Logan x Angel!Fem!Reader where the reader comforts Logan at the most random of times. Whether he may be at his worst, or at his best, he still appreciates the gesture, because the reader being the angel mutant she is, she can’t help but be there for him, as he radiates energy that feeds off sadness and guilt? I’d appreciate it,, but if not that’s alright!!

what you deserve || Worst!Logan x Angel!reader

warnings: logan not accepting his feelings as usual, a little angst, fluffy ending

a/n: thank you sm for requesting this! I had a blast writing it and I love the idea of angel!reader who just dotes and loves Logan he deserves it.

The first thing Logan had to get used to in this new world was his loud mouth, annoying, and very punchable roommate. The second thing he had to get used to was his next door neighbor who might be the kindest woman he's ever met. You have to be if you're friends with Wade.

You literally brightened a room by stepping in it.

The first time you came to dinner he felt a change in the air, it confused him at first. Until you took off your coat and your bright white wings were on display. They were hugged tightly against your back but he could still see them. He was mesmerized by them.

They looked so soft. He would watch you from the corner of the apartment, lifting peoples spirits with a simple conversation. He didn't expect you to even look his direction, why would you? You're an angel and he's...well he's wolverine. A grumpy, feral drunk with no light left to give.

"Hi Logan," He looks up to see you standing in front of him, holding out another beer for him. He looks down to see that his bottle was empty, he hadn't even noticed.

"Hi." He says shortly as he takes the new bottle. Silence falls between the two of you as Logan racks his brain for anything to say.

"You mind if I stay here?" You ask. He shrugs his shoulders and takes a sip of his drink.

"M'not great company." He's not the life of the party kind of guy, if anything he's the one to bring down the party. A raincloud slowly casting its shadow over the room.

"That's okay, I just want to be here." And you do. You sit with him for the rest of the party.

Only making small comments here and there that make Logan laugh, or he makes a noise that sounds like amusement so you'll take it. It's weird to Logan, why would you ever want to just sit quietly next to him of all people. But it's oddly comforting. Sometimes your hands would brush and he could feel a spark shoot through him. The party carries on but the two of you remain, and Logan likes it that way.

After that day you just kept popping up in his life. Always making an effort to be kind to him which he just couldn't understand. Doing nice things for him, complimenting him, for fucks sake you would bring him breakfast almost every morning.

It was unbearable how nice you were to him and yet he never wanted it to stop. He loved every damn minute of it whether he would admit it or not. To have someone care about him so much, he hasn't had this in a long time. But he stays in denial, not ready to face the facts of what he might be feeling. Not yet.

Logan realizes he's well and truly fucked when you find him drinking his sorrows away, again. Some days are better than others but today was just the fucking worst. Doesn't matter he's in another world. It was the day. The night it happened. Falling back to old habits was too easy for him as he sat at the bar stool, ordering drink after drink.

"Logan?" He hears your soft voice from behind him and he tightens the grip on his drink.

"Fucking great," He mumbles as he downs the rest of his drink and puts the glass on the table. He tries to order another but the bartender cuts him off. Not like he can really get drunk anyways with his healing but they cut him off anyway.

"Are you okay?" You place a hand on his arm but he shakes it off.

"Just fine." He gets off the stool and starts to leave but you grab onto his arm.

“Jesus christ just fuck off will you!” He snaps as he tugs his arm out of your grip.

Guilt creeps up on him as he sees your face fall but he turns around and keeps walking. He can't do it anymore, he doesn't deserve your kindness. His super human abilities leads him to be much faster than you. With a huff you take off your jacket and fly up into the air. Landing right in front of him.

"Will you stop it!" You cross your arms as you block his path with your wings.

"I just want to help."

"Well I don't need your help. I never wanted your help but you just had to stick yourself to me. You did that. Not me." He tries to push past you but your wings are strong and even if he's upset he doesn't want to hurt you.

"I did it because you needed it Logan, you may try and hide it but I can tell." You place your hand on his cheek and he sighs.

"You have such a sad aura, so much grief, so much guilt. I couldn't just stand there and let you think that you deserved all of that." Logan smiles sadly. A sad shake of his head as he takes your hand off his cheek.

"Of course, pity the old man huh? Always knew you were too good to me."

How could ever think you felt, that way about him. How could you ever love him, like he...like he loves you.

It hits like a cold splash of water, sobering him up in an instant. The hurt that radiates from him makes you frown as you try to comfort him but he just shakes his head. God he was infuriating sometimes. You can't take it anymore, you can't bare the guilt and anger that radiates off him.

"Just shut up will you!" He's taken back by your frustration. Your wings fold back in as you step closer to him.

"Yes I could sense your pain but I didn't help out of pity Logan, I helped because you deserve to be happy. Because underneath all that pain is a man who deserves to be loved." You lean closer to him, his breath hitches as you kiss him gently.

Your hands cupping his face as your wings slowly wrap around him, covering the two of you in a shroud of privacy.

"So pretty." He mumbles as he pulls back, looking into your eyes deeply before crashing his lips back onto yours. His hands wrap around your waist as nips at your lips making you gasp.

His fingers dig into your sides as he deepens the kiss, passionate and fuck he couldn't get enough of you. Your hands slide down to his chest as he pushes you gently against the nearest wall. When he finally breaks the kiss you keep a tight hold onto his shirt.

"Always so sweet to me angel," You snort and roll your eyes.

"Angel? Real original." You tease.

"Mm, fits though doesn't it." Your wings fold back into themselves as Logan runs his hands along the edge of them.

"Come back home with me, let me show you how sweet I can be yeah?" You smile as you feel the sadness disappearing around him, shrinking back as a new, warmer emotion seeps into the air.

"Take me home Logan." Leaning in you kiss cheek, hoping that one day all the bad feelings will be gone for good and with you by his side, he thinks they will.

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Aakhon Mein Teri ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Summary: Lando Norris and his very desi girlfriend <3

: ̗̀➛ ln4 x desi!reader ₊˚⊹♡

: ̗̀➛ fluff + humour ₊˚⊹♡

masterlist ☾☼

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 321,970 others

yourusername: manifesting that our story doesn't end like om shanti om

view all 85,261 comments

landonorris this movie was traumatising

yourusername no it wasn't!

user1 it really is

landonorris next time im picking a movie for movie night

yourusername no 😚

user2 dunno who i love more srk or lando

yourusername the only reason im with lando is cause srk is too old for me

landonorris wtf babe????

maxfewtrell you need to stop showing him movies that'll keep him up at night

carlossainz he's a child

danielricciardo too young to watch horror movies

landonorris THANK YOU

user3 i love how they came for lando's rescue 😂😂😂

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 715,026 others

yourusername gora pakora with his little spicy pakora

view all 291,008 comments

landonorris youre so beautiful

yourusername no you

landonorris i am

yourusername 😒

landonorris wtf is a gora pakora

user1 NO ONE TELL HIM

user2 youre a gora pakora lando

oscarpiastri yall are cute

yourusername lily and i are cuter tho

alexalbon youve already stolen my lily, why do you need another one

yourusername alexalbon im collecting all your girlfriends and then we're gonna ditch yall and live happily ever after

charlesleclerc alexandrasaintmleux stay away

alexandrasaintmleux no 😚

user3 PARENTS

user4 LANDO IN A KURTA LANDO IN A KURTA THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

user5 im dead he looks so beautiful

yourusername

liked by mclaren, landonorris and 853,017 others

yourusername poor guy's gonna lose all his money now that he's marrying me

view all 604,321 comments

landonorris can't wait to marry you

mclaren congratulations to the happy couple!

user6 shes such a gold digger

user1 no you dumbass. indian weddings have like, 13 different ceremonies to it

user2 my parents are getting married

user4 can't believe he's willingly giving away all of his money to her

carlossainz congratulation kids

danielricciardo they grow up so fast

maxverstappen1 i just read somewhere that there are 13 ceremonies???

yourusername yes there's going to be a meeting about it. i expect you to be there

maxverstappen1 im scared

yourusername you should be

oscarpiastri cant believe youre getting married!

user5 i love how y/n's gonna have a meeting to explain the wedding process to all of them

user1 indian weddings are no joke 😭😭😭

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 981,003 others

yourusername my radha was on the dance floor 🕺❤️

view all 704,692 comments

landonorris im so happy i married you i love you sm

yourusername i love you sm too

user1 WE NEED MORE DETAILS

carlossainz how did your wedding end up being more tiring than a triple header???

yourusername its the beauty of indian weddings

oscarpiastri i honestly feel like im still drunk

landonorris as you should be

mclaren NO AS YOU SHOULDNT BE

georgerussell beautiful beautiful wedding guys

yourusername carmen looked so pretty i wouldve married her instead

carmenmmundt YES

georgerussell NO

landonorris NO

danielricciardo all those dance practices paid off

yourusername you bet im gonna use the sangeet videos on your birthdays

charlesleclerc please dont we beg you

yourusername MWAHAHA

alexalbon landonorris your wife is being mean to us

yourusername he won't say anything he loves me

landonorris i do

maxfewtrell whipped

user2 I NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO

user4 im so happy for them im gonna cry

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

this is my first smau! i'm still learning to do these, so I'm sorry if this was bad! the dupatta getting caught on lando's watch idea was a request by @justadesirebel and I'm so sorry it took me so much time to make this! but, anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! also, the title "aakhon mein teri" translated means "in your eyes" and I chose that because the scene in the movie when the actress' dupatta gets caught in the actor's watch, that's the song playing in the background! i've also got a link for my taglist that you can find here!

[chaostudee]

leaked , george russell

summary : you are george russell's assistant to the public eye but to george you are much more than that. warnings : language. faceclaim : maria isabel a/n : literally had this idea at like 2am last night but im acc obsessed eeek

y/nusername i'm just a girl

by landonorris, georgerussell, oscarpiastri and 560,819 others.

landonorris are those my shorts 👀

y/nusername maybe.....

user i want to be y/n when i grow up !!

f1fan GIRL WE NEED THE CURLY HAIR ROUTINE

username_67 we need a clothing line asap girll

kikagomes ugh my gorge bsf 💋

oscarpiastri i'm just a girlll 🎶

y/nusername you get it

user829 stopp y/n's relationship with all the drivers is adorable :)

georgerussell summer break, with the best company 🫶

liked by lewishamilton,landonorris, charlesleclerc and 1,679,910 others.

f1fan ugh to be that dog

landonorris basic asf fit

georgerussell this acc hurt me

user829 awwww

f1lover_88 this is so cute omggg

charlesleclerc you up for a playdate with leo??

georgerussell ofcccc

y/nprivate summer with you <3

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussell and 200 others.

georgerussell i love you sm

landonorris WHY WASN'T I THERE

oscarpiastri fr

y/nusername selfies.

liked by landonorris, georgerussell, lewishamilton and 382,920 others.

kikagomes im obsessed with u acc

y/nusername 💋

user829 oh wow

f1fan ugh to be her though

f1lover damnnnn

landonorris 👀

georgerussell 👀

georgerussell WE ARE BACK!!!

》 y/nusername mine

》 georgerussell all yours

》 user22 oh yum

》 f1fan yesss we are backkkk

》 user11 acc cant wait for this weekend omggg

y/nusername

》 user819 HELP PLS I LOVE HER

》 f1fan WBJSSNSSK

》 user01 george memes give me life

》 georgerussell me running to my phone whenever u post

y/nusername this weekend :)

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell, landonorris and 632,891 others.

user10 mercedes one two :)

justaninchident ugh my queen

user9229 i wish my weekly dump was like this 😩

f1fan y/n how do u feel this weekend went??

y/nusername great, as usual george and lewis tried their best but so happy with a double podium hehe

landonorris should've been me and oscar on the podium

georgerussell boy please 😀

y/nprivate date night

liked by kikagomez, landonorris, georgerussell and 471 others.

kikagomes love u both smm <33

y/nusername love u smmm

landonorris cuteee

georgerussell my gorgeous girl

georgerussellupdates GEORGE RUSSELL SPOTTED WITH HIS ASSISANT Y/N AT A KNICKS GAME !!

liked by f1fan, justaninchident, f1lover and 56,910 others.

f1fan WHAT WHAT

justaninchident guys calm down they are just close friends they have literally seen this before

f1lover i love them idc what ya'll say

user11 not y/n plsss i hate her she's so annoyinggg

anon why george

user337 omfg leave them alone its acc none of our business

username_92 👀👀

y/nusername last night 🏀

liked by georgerussell, oscarpiastri, kikagomez and 711,620 others.

knicks hope u had the best time

y/nusername yesss ilyyy 🙈

user818 outfit details plssss

f1fan why tf was she with george

user910 shes literally his assistant wdym???

kikagomes ate

y/nusername thanks to my stylist ;)

landonorris girl since when do u like basketball

anon gold digger

y/nusername

》 georgerussell i still don't understand this trend 🙃

》 y/nusername it's okay i love u anyway

》 user929 and this is why y/n is iconic

》 landonorris george is demure, oscar is mindful and im cutesy.

》 y/nusername no because literally 😭😭

》 oscarpiastri i hate this trend acc

y/nusername my bsf (and her annoying bf)

liked by kikagomes, pierregasly, georgerussell and 916,810 others.

pierregasly umm excuse me but why am i annoying???

y/nusername because u stole kika from me 😪

user82 my fav wagsss

f1fan78 no cause why are pierre and kika so cuteeee

user11 oh to be a wag

justaninchident hehe i love them

georgerussell hi everyone i just wanted to come on here to address a few things. a few days ago a social media account posted private messages between me and my girlfriend y/n. i am utterly disgusted that our privacy and private life was invaded this way and i do not condone any hateful backlash and comments to y/n or our relationship. for this such reason we decided to keep our relationship out of the public eye. i hope you can all understand that me and y/n will be taking a break from social media to focus on ourselves. thank you for all your support always ❤️

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 2,829,923 others.

y/nusername ❤️

georgerussell ❤️

lewishamilton i'm so sorry that this happened to you guys, i'm here for you both.

georgerussell appreciate it mate 👍

landonorrris y/n and george stan forever

oscarpiastri mom and dad

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@mxryxmfooty

@hadidsworld

@llando4norris

@lottalove4evelyn

@heavy-vettel

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie pt.2

summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!

warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒

authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..

- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍

- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)

- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.

- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.

ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL

ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE

ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU

ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…

- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.

- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”

- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”

- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞

- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.

- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”

- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.

- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware

- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”

- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.

- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.

“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”

“…live streaming.”

(crowd cheering sound effect)

“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”

- meanwhile chat was dead silent.

- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"

- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”

- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”

- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍

- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off

- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song

"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"

- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”

- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public

- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞

- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie

"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"

- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK

-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞

- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap

- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.

ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...

- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like

- shes ur biggest fan ongod

-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….

- OKAY SO BASICALLY.

- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.

- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.

- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.

- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.

-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.

- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP

- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining

- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.

- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.

- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!

- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽

- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”

- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!

- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”

- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.

-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”

- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?

- creeperewman: im definitely real!

- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???

- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd

- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.

- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊

- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.

- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her

sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.

- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”

- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing

- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it

“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”

[hysteria-things]

you should do a story of like chris and the reader play like an adult card game. it just randomly appeared in my head i hope it’s not out of ur comfort zone 😭 also i love ur writing and stories sm!

CARDS

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: sub/dom!chris x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: everybody goes off to bed except for you and chris. you find a card game and decide to play, not knowing what it has in store.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, swearing, drinking, tied hands, blindfold, teasing, oral (male receiving), degradation, p in v, cream pie, unprotected sex (no bueno!)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,445

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: THIS IS MY FAVORITE REQUEST SO FAR! nothing is out of my comfort zone anon, don’t worry😘 (and thank you for the compliment!)

shoutout to this game that randomly appeared on my tiktok to give me this idea.

enjoy ;)

“i think i’m going to head off to bed.” nick announces, stumbling his way to his feet.

you, the triplets, nate, and madi decided to rent out an airbnb for a weekend getaway. it’s rare when you guys have free time.

you all have been drinking and talking for the last three hours. nate and madi went off to bed about an hour ago, and nick stepped out of the living room.

“i’m going to go too.” matt says a few seconds later. “we got a busy day tomorrow.”

that leaves you and chris left as you two wave goodbye to his brother. there's no doubt that the group is at least a little tipsy.

“you can go to bed too, if you want. i’m sure i’ll be gone soon.”

chris shakes his head. “i’m good right now.”

you scan your eyes around the room until you land on a shelf that’s next to the TV. there’s a handful of games on them, but one sticks out to you. it’s a red box.

you get off of the couch and walk over, taking the box and studying it. there’s a black cat on it, and underneath it says ‘pussy out.’

smirking, you hold up the box so chris can see. “want to give this a try? it says it’s for 3+ players, but we can make it work.”

he laughs. “sure. bring it over.”

you go back to the couch and set the game on the coffee table, laying it all out and reading about how it works.

the group goes in a circle and picks a card. you can either do what the card says or take however many shots it displays on the bottom of it. easy enough.

“i’ll go first,” you say, picking the card that’s the first on the deck.

let the group see your my eyes only on snapchat.

or…

pussy out.

two shots.

“sorry, no.” you start, shaking your head and grabbing the vodka bottle that you guys have on the coffee table. “i’m not doing that.”

chris looks amused. “why not? you have nudes and shit in there?”

“no.” you lie. you pour two shots and drink both. you gag at the alcohol going down your throat.

chris sighs, taking the next card.

wild card!

all leo’s take a shot.

this is your chance to be the center of attention.

he groans. “this shit is so not fair.”

you laugh now. “you heard it. bottoms up, sturn.”

he glares at you before downing one drink. you stare at the card in your hand, a little taken aback.

passionately kiss the player to your right.

or…

pussy out.

four shots.

chris is technically across from you, but it’s the same difference, right?

you bite your lip and slowly crawl over to chris. he glances at your eyes and lips a few times before you lean in and kiss him.

your mouths move in sync with the sound of your lips smacking together. you invite his tongue into your mouth.

you kiss for a few more seconds before pulling away.

both of your lips are red and you clear your throat. “y-your turn.” you stutter.

chris quickly reaches for his second card.

choose a player to spit a shot into your mouth.

or…

pussy out.

three shots.

he reaches for his shot glass and pours the liquid into it. you smirk at his cowardliness. this card isn’t so bad.

“you going to spit in my mouth, or what?”

your eyes widen, staring at his hand that’s holding the glass in front of you.

“o-oh.” you stammer, taking it from him. “um, yeah. sure.”

you pour the vodka into your mouth and hold it there. you grab chris’s jaw lightly as your noses touch. his mouth is already open for you, and you spit the alcohol down his throat.

you pull away as he swallows. for some reason, none of this feels awkward. it feels like young adults having a good time.

both of you let out giggles when you take a card.

wild card!

do whatever your heart desires to a player. if not, you have to take three shots.

(come on, you know you want to)

chris brings his hands to the back of his head and grins. “you heard it. bottoms up, y/l/n.”

you snarl at him using your words against you. “no. put your hands together.”

he raises his brow but obeys. you grab two black pieces of fabric you found and turn to him.

you bite your lip as you tie his hands.

“so… what are you doing, exactly?”

“you’ll see,” you reply, taking the other piece of fabric and putting it over his eyes.

his chest heaves as you straddle his lap and slowly graze your hands over his chest. “y/n—”

you cut him off when you start to roll your hips. his mouth is agape, groans leaving it each time you move upward on his now growing erection.

“y/n— fuck. don’t tease like that.”

you shush him as you move yourself so you’re straddling his calves. you take off his shorts to see pre-cum already leaking through his underwear.

you rub his dick through the piece of clothing, a moan and hiss leaving his lips.

“you want my mouth, handsome? you want my mouth wrapped around your needy cock?”

he whines and nods vigorously. “god, yes, please.” he pants.

you hum, kissing his twitching dick a few times before finally letting it spring free.

you grab the base; your small hand doesn’t fit around it. you start to kitty lick the tip and move your hand up and down.

he moans, his hips thrusting upward at the sudden contact.

you suck at what’s coming out of his tip before moving your head down, gagging when it reaches the back of your throat.

bobbing your head at a fast pace, chris wiggles and whines from underneath you. the sound of you sucking his dick also filling the room.

“shit, wait.” he exhales. “please. i need to fuck you so bad. need cum inside your pussy. please.”

you grip his thighs when he starts thrusting up into you.

you lift your head before it gets too much and cough. he’s panting as you move your face up to his ear, untying both his hands and the blindfold as you speak. “then do it.”

he flips you over in milliseconds, your back now against the couch. he tears off your panties, the elastic ripping against your skin causing you to yelp. he doesn’t bother to remove your shirt and skirt; he just needs you so badly.

chris gives you no time to adjust when he starts to plow into you so fast that the couch moves with each thrust.

“ch-chris! fuck!” you scream. “you’re f-fucking huge.”

he chuckles and covers your mouth to muffle your moans and screams. “you don’t want them to hear, do you? you don’t want them to hear how much of a whore you are; getting fucked by one of your best friends.”

it’s crazy how fast his demeanor can change. just a few minutes ago he was under your control, even though you hate being the one to take over.

he lifts your legs so they both are over his shoulders, which has him drilling into you deeper. luckily, he holds you in place. if he didn’t, you’d go flying off the couch.

you gasp in his hand and roll your eyes back, arching off the couch so he can hit just the right spot. you grip his hand and move it away from your mouth, not caring if the others can hear.

“o-oh, chris!” you grip his biceps, leaving crescent shapes on them. “i’m gonna— shit, i’m cumming.”

your legs start to shake as you start to spread your cum down his dick.

“look at me,” he demands. your eyes flutter back open and stare into his lust-filled ones. “you want me to fill your pussy? huh? you want me dripping out of you for the whole weekend like a slut?”

“mhm! please— please.”

he starts to rub your clit with his thumb, your eyes crossing at the pleasure washing over your body.

he thrusts a few more times before stopping deep inside you, feeling his orgasm fill you to the brim.

he grunts before pulling out, falling on top of you as you guys breathe in sync.

“can’t wait to spend $50 on plan b tomorrow morning.”

he laughs, kissing your jaw. “my bad.”

it’s no secret that you’ve always liked chris more than a friend, but it’s bizarre that having sex with him happened because of a crazy card game.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom

[cvnt4him]

Hello!!! Can i request Izuku x reader doing it for the first time? I think ot would be cute if they were together since UA, and like they were each other first everything.

I love love LOVE. This idea sm. Ask and you shall receive my dearest nonnie<33

Our First.

You and izuku had been dating for about 6 months. You were his everything, you meant so much to him and he wanted you to know it. He's all about making sure you feel what he intended to make you feel. If that's excited then it's excited, if it's loved then it's loved.

He doesn't truly know how much you love and adore him. Like actually, you'd legit die for him like and I know when people say that they say it to show devotion but you'd like, actually do it. No questions asked. Which, it hurts your heart to know he probably wouldn't do the same for you, and some day he's going to not only belong to you but the world as well, and that he'll never truly be yours, and never truly be as devoted to you as you are him.....

But I suppose that's a problem for another day!!

Izuku was having a study group thing with a couple of friends while you were in your dorm watching a movie with a couple of your friends.

You excused yourself to get up to go to the restroom, you hadn't really needed to go you just wanted an excuse to use your phone without anyone saying out it away.

You close the door behind you and sit on the toilet to text your boyfriend.

Hey babes<333

Wyd?

Delivered

You waited for him to reply, tapping your phone against your cheek and staring at whatever caught your eye before your phone vibrated, you were quick to check it.

Hello ml!!<3333

I'm studying w kacchan and a couple of others. Nothing too great😞

Wby?

You didn't really know how to respond. You could A, tell him what you were actually doing which was hiding out in a bathroom to text him.

B, tell him what you had been doing which was watching the worlds most boring movie.

Or C, just make something up. Maybe add a little spice, yk be sexy.

...

You were definitely going with C.

Thinking ab you;(

You sigh heavily, it was a risky text the two of you had never sent texts and the sort. You didn't know how he'd react. It's not like you just asked him to send a dick pic or anything..

Izuku had placed his phone face down on the library table so he could focus (and not get told off by Iida). His phone vibrated which caught everyone's attention causing them to look at izuku.

Izuku looked around the table to see an annoyed Iida and other curious faces. He apologizes with a slight nod of his head attempting to grab his phone before it gets snatched by a snickering denki.

"whua-- hey!"

Izuku whisper yells at denkis trying to grab his phone back but also not be loud since they are inside of a library.

"who could possibly be texting you this much?"

"my girlfriend. Not that it's any of your business."

Izuku was quick to snap before tanking his phone out of denkis hands and holding it to his chest with a snarl. Everyone was surprised by this, he'd never acted like this before. Everyone knows him as the class' sweetheart.

"YOU. have a girlfriend?"

Denki asks, getting agreeing murmurs from those in the room. Besides Iida and katsuki, they already knew about you and izuku. Katsuki because deku can never seem to not tell him shit, and iida because he caught you guys holding hands and had seen you kiss his cheek.

The two of you were really secretive with your relationship, if people really paid attention they'd see the way you guys are with each other, and trust me you guys would do more PDA in public but izukus not in that stage yet, he needs time to work up to it. Y'know do more than just holding hands and cheek kissing.

Izuku looks down at his phone to see your text as everyone huddles close to him to be nosy as well. He groans before reading your text. A blush paints his freckled face with wide eyes, the others around him chuckling and laughing around.

"oh wow izuku looks like your girlfriend wants you~"

Denki sings to him causing kirishima to whistle and nudge izuku with his shoulder, izuku was flushed red and hiding his face with his hand putting his phone down onto the table. He didn't know how to react, you've never been this direct before!!

Izuku was speechless, he just stared at the message for a while everyone pitching in things he should say.

"you should say something sexy back!"

"yeah something like 'hey sexy mama~'"

"you all fucking suck. Especially yours kirishima."

Bakugou boasts with a roll of his eyes before standing up and punching deku in the arm.

"oi, just do whatever you want. Don't listen to these fucking losers they haven't even seen a pair of boobs."

"hey!!"

"c'mon man.."

Kirishima and denkis spirits die down so now it's just izuku staring at his phone. He whimpers lightly and sets it down on the table along with his head.

"I don't know what to say..."

Izuku sighs heavily and defeatedly. He wanted to text you back something sexy really he did, he just didn't know how to go about it. He liked you a lot and didn't want to embarrass himself.

"tch. Give it t'me dork."

Bakugou snatches izukus phone and begins typing.

The three dots show up on your phone after a couple of minutes seeming like hours. For a second you thought you'd went too far, you guys have never been this direct before so you can imagine it's a lot for him.

Oh yeah?

Wanna come over and maybe watch a movie?

You gasped loudly trying to hold back the squeal that wanted to escape your throat, you jumped around in one of your friends bathroom in excitement. Sure you've been to izukus dorm before but the two of you never really....slept together. Like, sure occasionally you'll cuddle close and hell hold you but you've never like actually stayed a night before. Mostly because it's not really allowed and he didn't want to get you in trouble but still.

You were so excited you typed back rather quickly.

I'd love too!!

Shit does that sound desperate? You don't want to come off as desperate despite you guys being together for quite some time.

I mean if you want me too then I don't mind.

Yeah that sounds better!

Bakugou sucks his teeth before tossing the phone back on the table and sliding it to a saddened izuku with his forehead still on the table. He turns his head to see his phone and new texts.

He picks his phone up reading everything his eyes widening each time he reads a new message. He gasps with sparkles in his eyes before he looks up to bakugou who just scoffs and looks away with a slight blush.

"yer' fucking welcome.. nerd."

Izuku chuckles before wrapping his arms around the angry blond who groaned and turned his head, izuku looked up at him with the biggest smile as a thank you and grabs his things before fleeting out of the library.

"are you kidding me. We're supposed to be studying!! You're all going to fail if we do not!"

Tenya barks at the crowd izuku stops at the door before turning around, the others look down in an apologetic manner. He sighs as izuku looks at him with those big puppy dog eyes of his.

"fine, whatever, get the hell out. I'm done here anyways."

Izuku giggles before leaving with a hop, he was so excited to see you!

Once he made it to his dorm he looked around to see how dirty it was, his weights all over the floor some clothes hanging off his bed, his covers and pillows a mess, his floor was littered with cup noodles, water bottles, tissues for... Personal use.. and other things, if he was going to even be in the same room with you he was going to need said room to be cleaned. So he dropped his stuff on the ground and began cleaning the shit out of his room.

You started practically sprinting to his room. You wanted to see him so bad it had been about 2 days since you had! You guys text and call sure but it's like the two of you are still friends who hardly talk and you've noticed that. You hated it as well. You wanted to be seen as a real couple but you just didn't know how to go about it. Getting to spend time with him like this meant the most to you!

You finally made it out of breath due to the flight of stairs you actually ran through, you stopped at his door trying to catch your breath, you fixed your shorts and your tank top to make sure your boobs didn't spill out and regained your composure.

You clear your throat and knock on his door, he was quick to answer with a beautiful bright smile. You couldn't help but to smile back at your cute freckled boy!

"hi hunny."

He says opening his arms for a hug. You rushed into his arms and inhaled the delicious comfortable smell of him and his room, the aroma that came from him was just divine. The warmth be gave you in the hug that he held you in was amazing.

He chuckled and kissed your forehead which made you look up at him. He looked down at you with the most love filled eyes. He rubbed your stray hairs to the back of your hair and invited you in.

He closed the door behind you and walked you to the bed, you both sat down as you admired the way his dorm was oddly clean and how his bed was very neat, the purple fuzzy cover you got for him on your month-iversary. The laptop and snacks he had put out so you guys could watch movies. This was perfect.

"I uh.. I figured we could watch a movie and cuddle.. maybe? If you'd like of course I don't want you to be uncomfortable!"

He stammers on his words, he was sure to ramble off if you hadn't pecked his lips. A quick swift kiss landing on his soft pink tinted lips making him flush red.

"I think it's lovely izuku. Id love to cuddle and watch a movie! I love the snack choices as well!!"

You giggle and run your fingers through his messy curls, they entangle around your fingers as you pull one of the coils and watch it bounce back up to his messy mop of hair.

He chuckles nervously before nodding to the bed hinting he's ready to start the cuddle sesh. You both cuddle close and press play on the movie, you scoot as close to your boyfriend as possible hoping he'll wrap his arms around your shoulder like he usually does. He hums lightly and kisses your forehead and hands you a twizzler which you take thankfully of course but why hadn't he wrapped his arm around her per usge? You decided to brush it off and continue the movie.

The movie was almost over and you hardly even paid attention to it you were so ticked off with izuku for not wrapping his arm around you!! What was wrong? Why hadn't he done it? It wasn't cuddling if you two weren't practically inside of each other's skin.

You sigh heavily once, then twice, then three times which izuku eventually caught onto. Your dramatic sighs and the way you slightly nudged him each time how was he supposed to ignore that? His lovely girlfriend all upset and bothered by something! Mm-mm this just won't do!!

"is something wrong, my love? Is the candy getting to you and making you sick? Was the movie too boring? Would you like me to change it? Are you tired? What's the matter??"

"why didn't you wrap your arm around my shoulder like you normally do when we cuddle?"

You pout up to him from on his chest with a frown, you were really upset. You hadn't seen your boyfriend in days and instead of cuddling like normal he was being weird!

His eyes widen as he bats his pretty long eyelashes at you before bursting into laughter, he tried to hold in his laugh really he did but he couldn't help himself. You were too cute to ignore and the way you got all angry and pouty was just too adorable that it made him laugh.

You cross your arms and move off of his chest sitting up against his headboard and pouting. You were pissed, he was laughing at you and still wasn't telling you why he was acting weird.

"im- I'm sorry hunny really I am! I just.. whoo.. I just didn't think you'd get angry over something as small as that! If you wanted me to why dirnt ou tell me?"

He questions scooting closer to you and rubbing his thumb across your cheek. You wouldn't look at him and answer him so he did what came to mind. He yanked you by your chin forcing you to look at him, whilst doing all of this he still had that adorable wide eyed, concerned, yet worried face on his adorable little face.

You look up at him with no words in mind, you just looked at him with saddened eyes and he hated it. The look you gave him broke his big heart. So he did what he felt would cheer you up. Izuku moved in slowly toward you, his eyes lowering down to your lips before he gently placed his own on top of yours. His lips slowly join with yours in a soft dance of love. A breathy moan left his mouth as his eyebrows furrowed, all izuku wanted was to gently kiss your beautiful lips so he could snap that adorable pout off of your face but now he was all tied up in your lips.

They glided together perfectly and slowly, both of your breaths being taken away by each other. You were hungry for him, the kiss he gave you sent a warm feeling straight to your core which caused you cunt to throb. God was this going to be the night? The night you finally have sex with your boyfriend?

You guys don't really make out a lot because of how sensitive he is, the last few times you tried he instantly shut it down because he got hard, you wanted to say something those times, like offer help to him but you just couldn't. Now, now that you had him you didn't plan on letting him go.

The kiss got heated and more passionate. You pulled him in closer with a groan escaping you that went straight to his cock. It twitched against his shorts making them move up and down. If you had looked you would see the way his hardening cock managed to make his shirts move. God his cock must be really thick..

"...wait! Wait, I uhm-- I just uhm.. uh.."

He pushed you away and fiddled with his fingers, he couldn't find the words he wanted to say. Izuku would be lying if he said he didn't want you, to move forward with you. He wanted that, he aches for that. His cock yearned to be touched by you, your hands. You don't know how many times he's stroked his short thick cock to the thought of you. The thought of your lips kissing his enlarged leaky tip and the way you'd lick the ore cum off of your lips. He's had so many fantasies about you and he wanted to make them all come true however there was one problem.. he was a big fat virgin. He didn't know what to do or how to even go about it hell he'd probably feel out the second he actually saw your full boob.

Sure he's seen the top of your boobs and he's squeezed them before but he's never actually seen them or touched them bare. Just the thought makes him shudder. He wants you but he's scared. Scared he won't be able to please you or even make you cum! Hes researched the feme orgasm and body a lot, he wanted to be prepared for when you wanted this.

Izuku watches a lot of porn so he knows what a pussy and boobs look like of course, but he didn't know what yours looked like and that's what mattered most to him. He was nervous he'd cum too quickly, there were so many things that could go wrong because of him.

"izuku... Do you not want to have sex with me?"

You ask slightly offended and angered by him every time you get even the littlest bit close to something leading to sex he always shuts it down and don't get me wrong you're perfectly fine with him wanting to take his time to nourish and care for your relationship [one of his old excuses] but you want more and he does too, you know he does so why won't he just come onto you already?

His shakey wide eyes shot over to your direction, he wanted to say something but he couldn't think of any words at the moment. He looks at you with sad eyes before pulling you into a quick kiss. The kiss only angered you more.

"I.. of course I want you y/n, of course I... I want to have sex with you but.... Im scared."

"huh? If what izuku. Be for real."

"i- I'm scared that I won't be able to please you, but I know if I don't please you in that way you'll find someone who will... And I don't want to lose you..!"

Fuck. Why did his stupid little speech have to tug at your heartstrings like that. His dumb wide eyes looking down before looking back into your eyes then away again. He was having trouble keeping eye contact with you and that only made him more appealing to you.

"izuku. I want you and only you. If you were to randomly tell me one day that you don't want to have sex ever, period, at all whatsoever, I'd be perfectly fine with that. I love you, not your body. The way you make me feel is absolutely divine and royal-like. I feel as if I don't deserve you, but I know you want to be with me like I do you, and I know you're scared but you have nothing to be afraid of. You're a virgin, so am I. So... Let's learn together."

You grab his hands and stare directly into his wide emerald green eyes, the way they shine and fill with tears just made you want to fuck him even more. Is that fucked up? Probably? Probably.

He sniffed before pulling you into his lap and holding you close, tears falling from his eyes as he tries to hold back his sniffles and cries. You pat his head and pull it from the crook of your neck his tears wetting it. You kiss his forehead lightly once before pushing a stray curl behind his ear.

He looks up at you with glossy eyes they were just so big and full of love you couldn't help but bite your lip. Your cunt throbbed and clenched around nothing at the thought of making him cry from immense pleasure.. fuck you didn't know how bad you really needed him.

Izuku became a flushed mess, wide eyes looking up at you searching your face for some kind of answer to his unasked question. He felt the way your cunt throbbed above him, and just to his luck he felt it on his cock and made his cock twitch up into you. The heat that starts pooling in between both of your bodies was eating the both of you alive.

You grabbed his shoulders and gently ground your hips into his which made a moan rip out of him. Both of your eyes widen as you both just stare at each other, his cheeks were flushed red completely the poor freckled boy looked like a stray entry he couldn't help but whine and hide his face in his hands.

"I'm- I'm so sorry!! I- I don't know where that came from!"

He whines from beneath his large scarred hands, his face buried in his palms. You didn't say anything just simply moving his hands from his face, you pepper kisses all over his face gently before placing your hand back on his shoulders and trailing your knees to his ear, a light gasp escaped his lips as he was startled by the way you peppered kisses on his ear. He was sensitive all over but his ears were extremely so, he closed his eyes and just relished in the feeling of you. You then grind into him once more, this time repeatedly.

He choked on a moan and bites his lip trying not to let them escape. He wanted this to be good and not embarrassing for either of you!

Your grinding gets tougher and more buried, your clit was brushing against your underwear in a delicious way that had your mind going blank. Your breathy moans invaded his ears like a sweet song. Izuku had no idea what to do with his hands they were placed on either side of him on his bed. He felt too good to even begin to think about anything or any of his actions so without a single thought he wraps both his arms around your back and holds you close. Izuku can manage to cum untouched if that's what he wanted. There was no way he wasn't going to cum.

The way you breath fanned his ear and how you let little tiny mewls escape occasionally just felt like a gift from the gods above. He didn't know what to do with himself, his cock was pulsating and he felt the way his balls tightened. He was going to cum soon and he was going to cum hard. Izuku always came so much, not that you knew that, you were sure to make fun of him once you seen how he was about to blow his pants.

Izuku groans aloud before bucking his hips slowly up into your fast motions the rhythm was uneven but it still felt good nonetheless. The pleasure that was applied to your sensitive clit was divine. You felt so good and you could finally use him for the pleasure you yearned for.

"y/n... fu- fuck.. holy..-- shit! I'm- I'm cumming!!

He thrusted his hips up sharply before letting his thick hot cum paint his boxers. The warm feeling that came from how hard he had cum was so comforting it felt so good and pleasant to him he laid his head on your shoulder trying to catch his breath, to his surprise you weren't stopping anytime soon. His words had fallen onto dead ears, you heard him say your name and felt so good the rough rubbing of your clit against your panties was so good you just couldn't help but chase that feeling.

Izuku was getting overstimulated, little whines escaping his lips as he shook underneath you. He dug his nails into your shoulder which made you moan louder into his ear. It was so pornographic he was sure he got you straight out of a porn video. It was beginning to be too much for his cock, it was twitching uncontrollably and still leaking cum. He whined loudly into your ear before flipping the two of you over.

He was on top of you and buried his face back into the crook of your neck. Your eyes opened and looked up to the ceiling. He had taken that feeling away from you, you were getting rather frustrated and it was making you angry. You groan to yourself before moving your hand down to take off his shorts. You hooked your fingers into his waistband before he squeezed. He pulled back and looked down at you with lust filled eyes. Hid bottom lip was plump and swollen from how hard he had been biting it.

"are you.. are you sure you want to move forward with me? Like.. sexually?"

"i want to have sex with you izuku."

You say blantantly with little to no emotion laced in your voice. You were getting pissed and needed to feel something better than your fingers. They weren't satiating the insufferable inferno that burned inside of you. There was a fire and only his hot cum could put it out.

You shivered above you before nodding and letting you continue. You take his shorts off quickly and remove your underwear and shorts all together you didn't bother with shirts because who gives a fuck. You nodded up to him which gave him the okay to line up his red cock against your dripping hole. You didn't even give him a second to take in the sight of you. Your half naked body, he wanted to look at you went cunt so badly but he knew you needed to be around his cock more.

Izuku presses his tip to your hole and gently pushes in. He sucks in through his teeth as you wince, he stopped halfway afraid he had hurt you before you wrapped your legs around his waist and made his cock shive itself inside of you. He groaned loudly throwing his head back as you bit your lip with a guttered moan muffled due to the intense bite you had on your lower lip.

Izuku had read that sometimes women needed to adjust to the girth of thick cocks. Izuku wasn't all that big length wise but he knew he had girth, has own hand had a struggle fitting itself around his cock, he knew you'd have a problem taking it in. You did have a problem, but the stretch was so delicious you couldn't even feel the pain. It felt weird at first but soon the odd feeling turned into pleasure. You lift yourself onto your elbows and look up at him with your lip in between your teeth.

"fuck me zuku."

Izuku gulps and lowers himself down onto his elbows, your faces so close to each other he gave you a passionate kiss. Your lips glided against each others so beautifully it made him moan while he slowly moved in and out of your wet cunt. He groaned into the kiss due to the immense warmth of your cunt. It was like you were burning his cock off, and don't even get him started on the way you squeezed his cock. It's like you had a nice grip on him like you were trying to take his cock off. He couldn't help it, he was sure to cum again.

You grab into his shoulders and wrap your arms around his neck breaking the kiss. You close your eyes and take in the feeling of his slow motions. It felt so good.. but only for so long. Sooner or later you started getting quite impatient, izuku had gotten used to the slow pace but he wasnt all that used to the warmth of your cunt and the way you squeezed around his cock. If he went any faster he would cum on the spot. Not that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to get hard again because that want an issue he just didn't want to be lame for cumming too quickly.

Izuku leans his forehead against yours and lets out a gutteral groan, he was going to give you what you want no matter how sensitive he was. He pulled his cock full out before smashing back I to you his pelvis hitting against yours in such a rough and bruising manner. You scream out loud and bury your face in his neck drool escaping your open mouth it leaked down your lip and onto his shoulder.

Izuku tried to hold back his moans the best he could but when you started practically begging for him in his ear he couldn't contain the whines that left him slutty lips. They were so ethereal. The sound of him alone was alluring but the way his cock dragged against your velvety walls in a repeated motion was making you go dumb. Your eyes rolled back as your toes curled around his waist you choke on a moan and cum your brains out with no warning. The way you convulsed around his cock had his eyes crossing and his tongue lolling out of his mouth he came hard and fast inside of you, his thick warm cum shooting planks inside of you.

It took you a while to regain your composure and realize... Fuck. Not only did neither of you have a condom but he came INSIDE of you.

"for fucks sake.."

You whisper to yourself still holding onto the muscular body above you, he was tired and his body was spent but he made sure not to collapse on you. He didn't want to crush you!! Izuku gently laid himself down on top of you assuring tjay he didn't crush you with his weight, he laid his head on your chest and sighed in content.

You look down at him stressed out and already away from your high, you were freaking the fuck out! He came inside of you, you weren't on birth control, and you would literally have to get up and walk to the corner store with cum dripping out of you. Oh wait, there's more! It's after your curfew, you're not supposed to be in his dorm, and then on top of all that you're not supposed to leave campus. You were ultimately fucked but you weren't gonna let none of that stop you from assuring that you don't get pregnant.

You sigh heavily and play with his hair which instantly caught his attention, his eyes shot open and he turned his head to look up at you with those dumb big wide eyes of his. His eyebrows furrowed as he gave you a sideways smile which you returned with one that didn't meet your eyes. That just didn't sit right with him at all.

"you alright?"

He whispered up to you, he wanted both of your first times to be great but if you didn't enjoy yourself what was the point in any of this?

You open your mouth and close it again a couple of times before finding the right words and the right way to put this.

"...so, you came inside of me and it's after hours and we aren't supposed to leave campus and I'm not on birth control and I would have to walk to the store with cum dripping down my legs and then--"

"hey hey hey, it's okay.. I'll get the plan B for you.. okay? Calm down."

He hopped up on his knees and held you by your cheeks and craned your neck up to him. He missed your lips softly and held you in the sweetest way. You were his and he'd do anything for you, even risk getting detention.

"I'll be right back okay? I promise I won't be long. stay here and get comfortable, yeah? Take a shower as well if you'd like!"

He kisses your forehead once more before putting on clothes in a hurried motion and jumping out of his window. You smile to yourself and snuggle in deeper to the warmth of his bed, you look at his allmight themed pillow case and giggle. He was the most amazing dork there was and he was all yours.

AN: I'm making a "series" out of this. Like I'm gonna write down all of your firsts and even when you guys first got together. Now I have a lot of requests and a lot of part 2's that I was supposed to make but I promise promise promise. I'll try my hardest to get to this because I've never been so invested in a story before? What's wild is I made this too 💀

[sexlapis]

yn and toji filming a buzzfeed puppies interview together then getting a question about if they would adopt a dog together 🎀🎀🎀

TOJI FUSHIGURO & Y/N + PUPPIES

⤷ cw: fluff, short fic, cute puppies, toji & yn haven’t exactly gone public but everyone basically knows they’re together 💀

a/n: needed to make this a whole thing bc i love this idea sm 🤭

INTRO

“oh my god!” you squeal as the crew members release six fluffy, tiny golden retriever puppies to where you and toji sit. the puppies immediately run over to both of you, and begin licking all over you knees and hands.

“hey, little guy..” toji coos and gently lifts the dog in his hands, practically dwarfing the small animal in the size of them. “such a little squirt, huh?”

you on the other hand, now have three bundles of pale yellow fluff bundled up in your arms, cradling them like they’re your children. “oh my god, oh my god. they’re all coming home with me, i’ll make it happen somehow.”

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?

“easy.” toji begins, smirking. “i’d be a wolf. i-”

in the midst of rubbing the belly of one of the puppies, you snort harshly at his answer, pulling you lips together.

toji drops the smirk and looks at you while he rocks two puppies in crook of his big arms. “what’s funny?”

“toji…you? a wolf? i don’t think so..”

toji scoffs. “what’d you think i’d be then?”

“hmm.. i think.. i think you’d be a chipmunk.”

“chipmunk?!” toji exclaims. “no way!”

you hold one of the puppies up to your face, speaking in a baby voice. “toji would be a chipmunk, wouldn’t he? yes he would! yes he would!”

“i would- you know what you would be?” he starts and you know he’s probably going to say something crazy. “you’d be a pterodactyl.”

“a what!” you cackle, dropping your head onto the floor and laying on your stomach. some of the puppies start climbing on your back. “what the hell would i be a dinosaur?”

he puts one of the puppies on the ground and it rests on his shoe. “pterodactyls ain’t dinosaur actually-”

“ok, toji the palaeontologist, why the hell would be a pterodactyl?”

toji shrug, nuzzling the puppy in his arm. “y’know.. they’re loud..and they got big mouths.”

you gasp. “that is-” you puff your cheeks and start throwing the squeaky toys at him aggressively.

“hey! stop!”

IF YOU COULD ACT WITH ANY ACTOR, WHO WOULD IT BE?

“oh, definitely mikasa ackerman.” you answer. “she’s so talented and sweet.” you bounce the puppy in your arms, one who seems to especially love you and toji. “she’s so sweet! yes she is!”

“yeah i’ve heard good things about her..” toji said. “‘think my choice would be..nanami kento. he’s done good work..seems respectable.”

“wow, really? you’d both hate each other.”

“_____, why are you so negative?” toji asks, faking seriousness. “we would get along. don’t be jealous.”

“jealous?!”

“yeah, jealous,” toji picks up the smallest puppy and it to his chest, stroking its head, “ain’t that right? she’s jealous, right?” he shakes his head at you while shaking the head of the puppy with his hand. “she’s so- oh, that one’s taking a shit on the floor.”

you turn and there it was, a tiny puppy, in toji’s words, taking a shit.

“ew.. i forgot they just did that…”

when the puppy finishes it’s…business, the other puppies run over and start sniffing it.

“oh fuck, they’re about to eat his fucking shit.” toji wheezes, shoulders bouncing m. “their faces just make you forget how fucking disgusting they are..”

“eugh, they’re so nastyy.” you cringe at them, cooing at the puppy in your lap. “but you’re not like they are you?”

WOULD YOU ADOPT A PUPPY TOGETHER?

“yes! yes we would!” you rest the female puppy in your arms. “wouldn’t we, toji?”

toji looks at you, admiring how adorable you look with the adorable, little puppy in your arms. he looks back to the puppies in his arms and lap. “‘couldn’t hurt..”

you shout happily. “toji, we’re taking this one home.” you lift the puppy in your hands to the sky like she’s simba. you look off camera. “can we take this one home? please?”

at the end of the video, you’re hugging toji along with the other puppies. “you’re all coming home with me!”

toji looks to the camera for help

(and that’s how you both end up with 6 golden retriever puppies for pets :))

[weneeya]

Hi hi! I hope you’re having a good day/night!!! I was wondering if I could get headcannons for either Kuroo, Oikawa, and Atsumu or JJK For Gojo, Nanami, and Inumaki where reader gets scary dog privilege?

Like I enjoy dressing in like really bright colors and mini-skirts and thigh highs with bright loud makeup but want scary dog privilege (like scary boyfriend who isn’t afraid to tell people off/ glare at people for looking at their s/o wrong or too long) to feel more comfortable walking around- feel free to ignore this if you don’t want/don’t feel comfortable doing this <333 anyways! Thank you <333

scary dog privilege w/ kuroo, oikawa, atsumu m.list | rules

note. hi!! ofc you can omg i love this idea sm <3 i've decided to do it with the hq boys, hope you don't mind :) please request more!

Kuroo Tetsuro

seems chill so people are not scared of him

he’s such a nice guy, he wouldn’t do anything, right? 

wrong, so wrong 

would always stand for you, no matter what 

go berserk to be sure you’ll dress how you like 

always surprising though 

princess treatment 

You were waiting for Tetsuro outside, because you wanted to do some shopping and he insisted on coming with you so he could spoil you all he wanted. You had this dress that you knew he loved so much, even if she was maybe a bit short. 

A group of students passed by, and you felt their eyes roaming over you while they were whispering. You felt a wave of unease but you tried to ignore them, looking away and waiting for your boyfriend. One of them was about to point at you, but all the noise suddenly stopped. 

Tetsuro was standing there, next to you, head slightly tilted to the side. He seemed calm, way too calm, and it was probably what made them panic. You wanted to say something, but he looked at you with the softest smile in the world, which made you stop. 

“You want me to take care of this?” He asked, glancing at them with a cold gaze which was contrasting so much with his smile. The group didn’t hesitate too long before leaving, eyes on the ground. And when Tetsuro looked back at you, it was like nothing happened. 

“Let’s go shopping!” He said, taking your hand to guide you to the first shop. You knew you were his top first priority, and you would probably never be thankful enough.

Oikawa Tooru

he’s not a huge fan of people looking at you in the first place ; you’re with him, not them

not really the scary type usually, but learned a lot from Iwaizumi during highschool 

not aggressive, always the fake sympathy 

a guy is looking at you for too long? he’ll put a huge smile on his lips, wrapping an arm around your shoulders 

will look at the guy with his fake smile but dark eyes the second you’re not looking anymore

doesn’t need to fight, he’s intimidating enough 

always protecting you from his fangirls 

won’t hesitate to glare at them coldly if they say anything about your looks

you’re the prettiest for him <3

You were waiting for your boyfriend, Oikawa Tooru, who had a match against another team today. As usual, you were wearing your bright and colorful clothes that you loved so much ; and you knew Tooru loved them just as much. You were waiting for him after the match, not so far from the cloakrooms. You were all smiling, until you heard girls laughing. 

You didn’t look at them, because you knew who they were. Tooru’s fangirls weren’t easy with you, but they were always careful enough to not get caught by the boy. You were about to say something, turning to look at them, when you felt an arm around your shoulders. 

When you looked up, you saw your boyfriend looking at girls with the darkest look you’ve ever seen in his eyes. He wasn’t amused, not at all ; and it made them stop in a second. He sighed slowly before leaving a kiss against your cheek. 

“You’re as pretty as always. Let’s go,” he told you, taking your hand in his before turning away. He glared at the fangirls one last time before completely ignoring them and the complaint they could try to give to him. You were lucky to have him, because you never felt safer than now.

Atsumu Miya

oh the boy knows how to fight 

anyone landing their eyes on you for a little too long and he’s throwing hands 

he’s not subtle, not at all ; you need to calm him down 

“what? ya want a picture, uh?” his accent is always going out more than usual when he’s angry

you’ll take his hand and they always left before he could do anything more 

leaving him with a pout ; he was so ready to get into a fight for you 

no one can say anything about you, not even him 

You were meeting Atsumu in town today. Apparently, he wanted to show you something that couldn’t wait even for a few days. You were waiting at your meeting spot, with your mini skirt and small top. You were feeling comfortable enough to wear this, until you felt this guy’s gaze on you. He wasn’t just looking at your outfit ; he was trying to see underneath and you knew it. 

“Hey! Need some help?” You heard a voice almost shouting from a few inches away, and you turned your head at the same time as the guy. You immediately recognize Atsumu with a frown over his face, walking faster suddenly. In a few seconds, he was in front of the stranger. 

He grabbed him by the collar, anger readable on his face. “Ya want something from my girl? Ya got a problem with her?” The guy couldn’t even answer, because Atsumu wasn’t giving him any chance to do so. You stepped closer, resting a hand on his arm. 

“Tsumu, please, it’s okay,” you told him, and he let go of the poor guy who almost immediately ran away. He followed him with his eyes to be sure he left, before clicking his tongue against his palate. He grabbed your hand in his, glancing around to be sure that no one was looking at you again. You felt way safer after that, and a slight smile appeared on your lips.

thank you!!

[joelscruff]

feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART SEVEN

previous chapters | welp. it's here. this one is a DOOZY, and i'm so sorry. i never expected it to get this long but oh well!!! go grab a snack and get settled cause this one is kinda wild. love u guys sm. i proofread this very quickly so i apologize if there's any mistakes!! and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💕 chapter summary: the pressure is building in more ways than one. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age difference (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early 20s), innocent/inexperienced reader, praise kink, dirty talk, pet names, mentions of religion, catholic guilt, sexting, n00ds, oral (m receiving), lap-sitting, thigh riding, alcohol, lemme know if i missed any! word count: 15.6k ao3

You're beginning to learn that Joel runs hot and cold.

There have been moments with him, intimate and special and warm, moments that make you feel light on your feet and send butterflies wilding through your stomach. Moments where he's open and present and wants all his attention to be on you, on your body, your pleasure. His touch sets you alight, his words send tingles down your spine.

And then weekdays happen and you start second guessing yourself all over again.

On Sunday you'd attended church with your parents, another attempt at appeasing your mother in lieu of all the lies and deceit. You've only gone to a select few services since you came home, something you know they've been silently judging you for and just waiting to hold above your head. Admittedly you'd been afraid of bumping into people you knew, having to switch on your teenage persona of Good Catholic Girl™ and lie through your teeth about how good it feels to be back home again. Luckily in the few services you'd attended, you'd only run into some elderly family friends, managing to avoid anyone you went to high school with.

Your luck had to run out at some point, though. This service you'd been accosted by none other than Bethany, one of your childhood friends who you'd practically left in the dust when you'd gone away for college. Her friendship was always full of judgement, perfection, and not to mention heaps of Catholic guilt. She'd taken one look at you, appraising you up and down as if assessing you for imperfections, then pulled you into a tight hug.

"It's so good see you," she'd said when she'd pulled back, a wide - and borderline frightening - grin plastered on her face, "My momma told me you were back, thought I woulda heard from you by now!"

Your mother, standing beside you in your pew, had furrowed her brow at this, clearly confused. You hadn't understood her reaction completely until Bethany had headed off to go say hi to someone else.

"I thought you had lunch with her and Alice the other week," she'd murmured softly to you under her breath, giving you an accusatory look, "Said you'd be helping them out over the summer. That's what you told me, anyway."

Fuck.

"O-oh, right," you'd had no idea what else to say other than that, biting down on your lip and staring straight ahead as the service began. She hadn't said anything else about it, but you'd sat in discomfort and anxiety for the next hour.

In a panic, you'd found Bethany after the service and quickly asked if she needed any extra help at Sunday School, to which she'd responded with enthusiasm - a little too much - that they always needed extra hands on Thursdays to help with lesson planning. You'd jumped at the chance, telling her you'd be there.

That night you'd texted Joel. You hadn't heard from him all day despite it being a weekend, and part of you had been hoping you might go over and see him once your parents were asleep.

guess who's volunteering at church now? this idiot.

You'd expected words of comfort, maybe a joke, at least something that would make you feel better about the situation. However, his response to yours had been brief, short, simple:

Rough. Get some sleep x

This trend of short responses has only continued throughout the rest of the week. He's distant when you text him, responds with a few words at best, short and simple and almost like an entirely different person. It's hard to believe it's the same man who whispers good girl in your ear and tells you how well you're doing, how wet you are, how pretty you look. His texts are some ghostly version of him, constantly fading in and out, barely showing interest or desire - that is, if he texts you at all.

It makes your skin itch, sends your insecurities into a tailspin. Why does this always seem to happen? You can't make heads or tails of it - you know he's busy, know that his job takes a lot out of him, and yet you can't help but feel that there's something more he's not telling you. He'd told you on his back deck all about how he wasn't very happy at his job, how he'd prefer to be retired by now, living life on his own terms - so why can't he just do that? It's clearly taking a toll on him, and while part of you feels empathetic and yearns to comfort him, another part feels angry, irritated.

You'd gone to your friends with these concerns, hoping for some sort of answer or solution to the problem. Instead, they'd been more sympathetic to Joel's plight than yours.

you gotta remember you're not in a relationship with him babe

right!! men are v simple creatures. they see things black & white. ur his fuck buddy and he prob doesn't rly want it to go beyond that.

now THAT'S going too far. she's more than his fuck buddy definitely. he wouldn't have told her his whole life story last weekend if that were true.

telling her he had a fucked up childhood isn't necessarily his whole life story. most guys had shitty childhoods lbr

but he opened up!!!!! fuck buddies don't do that.

exactly

i wish you guys were here :(

i'm honestly 5 secs away from booking a flight to texas bestie. gotta use my dad's frequent flier miles somehow.

--

"My friend Tasha is coming to visit this weekend," you tell your mom on Wednesday evening with a smile, turning your phone toward her to show the Airbnb you'll be staying at, "We're gonna stay at this little bungalow, have a girls' weekend."

Her brow furrows, "Why can't Tasha stay here?"

Because Tasha would terrify you, you want to say, because Tasha doesn't wear pants unless absolutely necessary. Instead you just smile again and say, "I think a change of scenery would be good for me, it'll be like a mini vacation. Plus there's a hot tub."

"Now that's something we need," she turns back to her book with a shake of her head, "I swear, your father is more interested in buying that boat we'll never use instead of something new for the backyard." You hadn't been asking for her permission, but her indifference sends a wave of relief through you; you've still been trying to be on your absolute best behavior lately to make up for the lies.

You head out to the backyard and seat yourself in a lounge chair by the pool, unlocking your phone again and swiping to your last conversation with Joel from last night.

hope you had a good day :)

I'm sure yours was better. Sleep well x

Curt and to the point, not at all what you'd wanted him to reply with. You recall one of your first phone conversations, the one where you'd been experiencing the same lack of interest in his texts, what he'd said to you: Don't think for one second that I don't think about you. But how can you not? How are you supposed to feel desired when he's being like this?

can you call me tonight?

You try not to wait too long before biting the bullet, not wanting to talk yourself out of it, but you do stare at the message with your finger hovering over the send button for longer than you really need to. The sound of the back door sliding open forces you to send it, locking your phone again as your mother walks over and seats herself beside you in another chair.

"It's nice to see you wearing that again," she says with a nod to your chest, referring to your crucifix - after wearing it again last weekend you'd thought that keeping it on might please her. "You're starting to really settle in here again, aren't you?"

You try not to grimace, "Yeah, it's nice being home."

She leans back in her chair, letting the suns rays hit her for a little bit without speaking. You sit there waiting for her to say something else, discomfort flooding through you. You're reminded of how easy it was to sit with Joel in his backyard last weekend, how little pressure there was to put up any kind of front - sitting here with your mother is the exact opposite.

"So, you lied to me," she finally says, voice quiet.

Your eyes widen and you sit up a bit, turning to her with panic already rising in your throat, "Wh-what do you mean?"

She doesn't turn to look at you, continuing to stare at the sky, eyes covered by her comically large sunglasses, "You know what I mean."

You sit there, staring at her with a mix of confusion and fear. There's no way she knows about Joel, how could she know? Who would have told her? You wonder if perhaps one of her neighborhood friends saw you leaving his house, saw you in his car... but the guise of lessons is your cover now, so how would any of that point to your relationship?

Some relationship, you can't help but think to yourself, based entirely on sex and only communication on the weekends.

"Bethany and Alice," your mom finally states, and you feel the panic in the pit of your stomach loosen immediately - oh.

"Mom," you say immediately, shaking your head, "I-I know. I'm sorry. I know I told you we met up but..." you bite your lip, trying to come up with some kind of excuse but coming up empty.

Instead, you do something that surprises you entirely - you tell the truth. Or at least... half of it.

"I really feel like my friendship with them has passed," you admit with a frown, "I'm... I'm different than I was when I left, you know that, don't you? I'm sure you've noticed."

She's still not looking at you but you catch her nodding slowly, thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry I lied but... I didn't want to disappoint you. And I didn't want you to worry about me being alone all the time. I'm actually rarely ever alone at college so it's been nice to have some time to myself," you smile, thinking of the girls in your group chat constantly waiting for new updates, "Having lunch with two people I haven't talked to in years just... didn't seem appealing to me. I have different friends now, you know? I'm older, people outgrow each other."

"Friends like Tasha," your mom states, bitterness in her voice, "Tasha who you don't even want me to meet."

You make a face, "Mom..."

She puts her hands up in defeat, shaking her head, "It's fine. You can do what you want and so can she," the words are drenched in judgement, "But you should remember that there are rules for staying here, young lady. And honesty is one of those rules."

You take a deep breath, swinging your legs around the edge of the chair and placing your arms on your knees, your face in your hands. You're so close to snapping back at her, making a comment that'll surely start an argument, but you shove it back down as best you can, counting to ten in your head.

"I'm sorry," you finally say through gritted teeth, "It won't happen again."

"It better not." She stands up then, disappears from the chair as quickly as she'd settled in it. You watch as she walks to the back door again, reaches for the handle.

Your mouth can't stop itself.

"Have you told Dad about my guitar lessons yet?"

She freezes, turns and stares at you for a moment without saying anything, then opens the door and heads back inside, slamming it behind her.

Checkmate.

--

I will when I get home.

Your anxiety is through the roof as you pace back and forth in your bedroom after darkness has fallen, freshly showered and pampered and already out of distractions. Without really thinking much about it, you pull Joel's flannel from under your mattress and wrap it around your shoulders, breathing him in as you sit on your bed and try your best not to keep checking your phone. When it finally vibrates you're not even embarrassed when you pick up on the first ring.

"Hey," you murmur, settling into your sheets and closing your eyes, "Is everything okay?"

"With me?" he asks, voice tired and gruff, "Thought it'd be the other way around."

Your brow furrows, "What do you mean?"

"Thought you'd wanna talk about this church volunteerin' stuff," he's moving around as he talks - you hear the sound of a cupboard banging and the clang of a glass against a countertop.

You don't speak for a moment, listening to the sound of liquid being poured into a cup and Joel taking a swig. There's no sound of the tap - you'd be willing to bet that it's not water he's drinking.

"No, I..." you frown, "I was worried about you."

You hear him take another sip, swallowing loudly and then placing the cup back down with a clink. More pouring. You swear you hear the faint sound of a chuckle before he takes another swig.

"Well that's silly," he states, and you suddenly notice there's a strange difference in his voice, a heaviness you're not used to.

"Are you drunk?"

He chuckles again but there's no humor in it, "Nowhere near as drunk as I'd like to be."

You frown, readjusting yourself against the pillows. You hear him take another sip, "Did something happen?"

He sighs then, deep and tired. You hear him put the glass back down on the counter, "No, babygirl, nothin' happened," hearing him say your pet name makes you feel a little better, the anxiety ebbing away a bit, "It's just that my job is the bane of my fuckin' existence."

He sounds genuinely exhausted, words tinged with resentment. You pull his flannel tighter around yourself, breathe him in, pretend you're in the same room as him, "Talk to me," you say softly, "Tell me what's wrong."

He doesn't reply for a moment - you can make out some footsteps on the other end, the creak of his stairs as he goes up to his bedroom, "No, darlin', it's nothin'. Shouldn't be talkin' about this with you."

"Hey, if something's bothering you, I wanna hear about it. I wanna make it better... if I can."

You hear him settle onto his bed, a satisfied little noise emanating from his throat that makes you smile, "That's the thing, babygirl. You can't. This is just the way life works. You do shit you hate and then you die, plain and simple."

"Joel," you admonish quietly - it's the first time you've said his name aloud since last weekend, it feels right on your lips, safe. He sighs but doesn't say anything else, breath evening out in your ear. "What is it? Really? I've been worrying about it all week."

"Oh honey," he murmurs softly. "Shouldn't be worryin' about me, there are more important things."

"Not to me," you admit, closing your eyes and shaking your head even though he can't see you, "First I thought maybe you were just busy, but-"

"Busy," he scoffs, "Right, yeah, busy. That's my middle name at this point. Fuckin' busy."

He really doesn't sound like himself - you know you still don't know him very well at this point, could be wrong about so many things, but part of you just knows that this isn't Joel. You know his softness, his safety, his kind eyes and crooked smile. This version of him sounds so sad; you can't help but wish you were in his bed right now, able to hold him close and run your fingers through his grey curls. You want him to open up to you.

"You don't wanna hear this shit, angel, you don't," he continues, voice gentler this time, "I know you're thinkin' somethin' is wrong, thinkin' somethin' in particular happened to make me feel like this, but the truth is..." he sighs again, deliberates for a moment and then simply states, "Truth is I'm just bein' stupid."

"You're not stupid," you say immediately, and he chuckles.

"God, you're so sweet, babygirl," he murmurs softly, "It's nice to hear your voice."

Your feel your skin heat up at the words, crossing your legs together unconsciously, "It's nice to hear yours too," you whisper with a smile, "I've missed you this week. Every time you've texted me it's felt like it's not really you."

"I'm sorry, baby," you can hear the sincerity in his voice buried underneath the tiredness and alcohol, "I'm just... I'm a mess." You hear him shuffle a bit in bed, like he's turning onto his side, "Work is always puttin' me in a shitty mood lately and I just...I don't want you to see this side of me."

"But why?"

Another sigh, then-

"'Cause I don't want you to look at me differently."

You bring the sleeve of his flannel to your lips, "I could never look at you differently, Joel," you whisper, "Promise."

He's quiet for a moment and you hope you haven't upset him, hope he's just thinking about what to say. You mean your words; it really would take a lot for you to look at him differently. You know you probably shouldn't feel that way considering you've known him less than a month, that the feeling should scare you... but it doesn't.

"I'm tired, angel," he finally says, voice sad and distant, "I'm too old to be doin' this job."

You wait for him to speak again, listening as he takes a shaky breath on the other end of the line, almost like he hasn't told anyone this. And maybe he hasn't.

"But it's hard to admit that to myself," he continues, "And even harder to admit it to you of all people. I don't want you to see some washed up, tired, old geezer, ya know?" he says it with humor but you can tell that he means it, "I mean I used to... god, I used to be able to do shifts like this no problem. Be up at five and home by midnight and able to do it all over again the next day. Now it's like I'm runnin' on a half empty tank of gas. Got no joy in this job anymore and my back is killin' me and-" he cuts himself off suddenly, "And I need to shut the fuck up before I scare you away."

"You're not gonna scare me away," you whisper, and you mean it, "I'm not going anywhere."

He laughs softly to himself; you're not sure if he believes you, but you're choosing to hope that he does, "Ya know, I didn't even wanna tell you my age when we were first together? I wasn't gonna tell you, I really wasn't. But then you were so sweet and vulnerable and honest with me-"

You scoff, "Yeah, lying about knowing how to play guitar, that's certainly honesty."

"That's not what I mean and you know it," he chastises - you can hear the sudden smile in his voice, "No, darlin'... when you told me you hadn't done anythin' before. That's when I knew I had to tell you, 'cause it wouldn't have been right otherwise," he makes an odd noise in his throat and then corrects, "Not that any of this is really right, but..."

"It feels right," you say softly, staring down at the plaid lines on the flannel shirt shrouding your body, reminding you of what it means - that you're his.

"It does," he agrees, voice rough and low, "Right and wrong in all the right ways, huh babygirl?"

You nod to yourself, unable to help the grin that spreads across your face, "Exactly."

The both of you are silent for a few moments but just like last weekend, it isn't uncomfortable or awkward. It's calming and safe, just listening to each other's breathing. You can tell he's tired, can hear it in his slow exhales; again, you can't help but wish you were lying beside him. And you can't help but wonder if a more sober Joel would have even said any of this to you, would have just kept it to himself and continued to deal with it in silence, not bothering to tell anyone how he's been feeling. It breaks your heart a little bit.

"It'll be okay," you whisper gently, soothingly, "It won't be like this forever, Joel."

He sighs, deep and sleepy, "You really are an angel," he murmurs, "So sweet and lovely, babygirl. Love hearin' you say my name like that."

His words send warmth throughout your body - no one has ever spoken to you the way Joel speaks to you, makes you feel the way he makes you feel. You close your eyes and bury your face in the sleeve of his flannel, listen as his breathing gets slow again.

"You should get some sleep," you whisper, even though you really don't want to end the call - but Joel is tired and you want him to feel better, "Text me tomorrow, okay? Even if you're grumpy."

He almost laughs but he's so close to sleep that it comes out slurred and low, "Okay, baby, I will. Promise."

"Goodnight, J-"

"Wait wait wait," he suddenly sounds a bit more alert, rousing himself from sleep, "You didn't tell me 'bout this church thing. You okay with it?"

You giggle at his sudden concern, "It's nothing, really. Just helping an old friend out with lesson plans for Sunday School. Not very exciting."

"Fun," his voice is sleepy and low again, "What're you gonna wear?"

You have to bite down on your lip to stifle another laugh, shaking your head even though he can't see you, "Go to bed, you perv."

He chuckles, "Okay, okay. Goodnight, angel."

"Goodnight, Joel."

You're about to end the call when you hear him murmur one final thing, so soft you're surprised you can even make it out - but you do:

"Hope I dream about you."

You fall asleep with a smile glued to your lips.

--

You end up wearing the same outfit you'd worn to Joel's last Saturday, though you leave the stockings at home; you doubt the women at church will be offended by your bare legs. You fasten your crucifix around your neck and make sure your mom gets a good look at you before you leave the house; you haven't spoken since yesterday afternoon but you still want her to see you're putting in some effort, as surface level as it may be.

She's in the living room when you come down the stairs, and her expression can't help but turn to one of surprise when she looks up from her book to see you standing there in your Sunday best.

"I'm going to the church," you explain softly, "Gonna help out Bethany with the lesson plan for Sunday School."

She assesses you up and down, eyes fixing on your crucifix for a moment before trailing back down to her book. She doesn't say a word.

Silent treatment. Typical.

Fifteen minutes later you find yourself being greeted by Bethany, blonde hair flowing down her dress as she stands outside the church with a bright smile plastered on her face. You recognize the forced expression immediately, one that you yourself have become an expert in feigning, though for different reasons. You haven't seen her in years but you still know her well enough to tell when she's less than thrilled about something - this time that "something" is you being there.

"I'm so excited you're here!" she tells you, voice shrill as she immediately takes a step forward to envelop you in a haphazard hug that feels neither excited nor genuine.

You should have known it would be like this. When you'd left for college a few years ago you'd promised to keep in touch with both Alice and Bethany, the only "solid" friends you'd managed to keep throughout all the studying, the tutoring, the church services, the extracurriculars, volunteering, etc. It's a miracle in itself that your friendship had even lasted through high school, if you're being honest. You'd begun to distance yourself from them a bit in those final years as you started to lose your faith while theirs only seemed to grow stronger. Leaving for college had been the last nail in the coffin.

"Me too!" you lie, feigning a similar smile as you both pull back from each other.

Though her grin is unrelenting, you can see the distance in her eyes, the sourness and disdain for your presence extremely evident. She doesn't like you. There's an awkward few seconds of silence where she assesses you up and down again, like she had at the service on Sunday.

Why did you even say yes to me coming here? You want to ask as you stand in front of her awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. If you didn't want me here you could have just said there wasn't anything for me to do. But you already know why you'd still been invited despite her obvious disdain for you - keeping up appearances means everything to these people; actually being honest about her feelings would have been disastrous for her reputation.

"Was sure you'd forgotten all about me," she finally says with an edge of malice still shrouded through her smile, "Haven't heard from you in what? Three years? And then you just show up outta the blue, huh?"

You grimace, "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. There was... I mean, I've just had a lot going on, I guess." You kick your feet awkwardly; this is not the conversation you want to be having right now.

"A lot goin' on, huh?" she echoes, eyes still scanning you up and down, "Right. Busy with college?"

You nod quickly, "Yeah, it's been kinda crazy."

She raises an eyebrow, "What are you studyin' again?"

"English Lit."

She snorts then, shaking her head and taking a step back, "Right. Reading. Sure sounds crazy."

Your brow furrows, "It's more than that."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," she puts her hands up in defense, fake laughing and smacking her lips together, "Just find it funny that an English Lit degree takes up so much of your time." She's being pretty bold with the sarcasm but you suppose she has a right to be angry, though you'd never assumed she'd be this pissed about you cutting her off, "Anyway, we should get inside, they're waitin' for us."

"Bethany," you take a step toward her, softening your expression, "I'm really sorry."

She just shakes her head again and turns away from you to reach for the handle on the front door, forced smile finally fading into a natural frown, "Forget it."

Great start.

You don't talk much after that, not after you're led into a side room off the chapel where a few other women are sitting in a circle with binders in their laps. Bethany simply gestures for you sit down in an empty chair and the meeting begins. Everyone immediately begins their rapport, discussing their plans and reading quotes aloud from their binders while you just kind of sit there unsure of what to do or say. A few of the women give you a tentative smile or two, but the way Bethany periodically glares at you is enough to keep them from actually speaking to you directly. You're okay with it though; as awkward as this is, you'd rather sit in silence than have to pretend. Still, if you'd known it would be like this you never would have come - it's not like your mother appreciates it anyway.

Your phone vibrates at one point, a text from Tasha confirming her flight information with lots of !!!!!!'s that make you smile. As if sensing your sudden mood shift, Bethany puts her hands up with another grin that doesn't reach her eyes.

"We keep phones in our purses" she says sweetly, "So we don't get distracted."

You nod and slip it back inside your bag, a gesture that's more of a peace offering than anything else; it seems to appease her.

It's strange being inside this part of the church again after so long. You'd attended your own Sunday School lessons here, prepped for choir and readings, learned your scripture. It certainly doesn't feel as safe or inviting as it once did, though you have to admit that there was always an undercurrent of pressure, of judgement - an energy that still remains today. Bethany watches you closely, quietly assessing you as you nod along to everyone's suggestions and ideas and try to keep up your long-time façade of obedience. You push down the new parts of you that long to take back a bit of control, maybe say something shocking or suggest something ridiculous just to see how they'd react.

You've been sitting in silence for about forty five minutes when Bethany announces its time for a quick phone break. Like clockwork everyone in the room pulls out their devices and starts checking for missed calls from their kids, their husbands. You pull yours out and your eyebrows go up in surprise when you see a text from Joel on your lockscreen:

How's your day going angel?

He didn't forget his promise. A smile plays at your lips as you start typing out your reply, but it quickly fades when you feel Bethany's eyes on you, watching.

"I'm, uh-" you stand up, smoothing out the creases in your dress and gripping your phone tightly, "I'm gonna take a bathroom break."

--

The bathroom is the same as you remember it, high ceilings and white walls, your footsteps echoing loudly as you walk over to the sinks and lean your back against the countertop. You continue typing out your reply to Joel:

well all the church ladies are giving me the silent treatment til i'm worthy of being here again lol. but jokes on them cause my mom is also giving me the silent treatment so i have training! anyway i miss you. wanna hug you. hope you're feeling a bit better today 💕

You turn around and face the mirror while you wait for his reply. You're still smiling - it's impossible not to when you're thinking about Joel, but this smile is bright and genuine, unlike the forced grins you've been sharing with Bethany for the past hour. God, you can't remember the last time anything made you feel as free and happy as Joel makes you, like nothing else really matters. Your phone buzzes and you tear your eyes away from the mirror to read his reply:

Aw baby I'm sorry. I wanna hug you too. Wanna do a bit more than hug if I'm being honest, but you know that already.

You bring your other hand up to your mouth, smiling even wider into it as his typing bubble pops up again only seconds later:

And I'm sorry about last night. If I said anything stupid please forget it ever happened. Me and alcohol don't mix that well sometimes. I'm alright, don't worry about me x

But I do worry, you want to say, I want to make you feel better. But how can you do that from a church bathroom, miles away from wherever he is right now? You're suddenly reminded of something he'd told you a few weeks ago, something you hadn't quite understood in the moment - You can text me whenever you want, tell me all about what you're doin', brighten up my workday. Maybe send me some pictures.

Oh.

You look at yourself in the mirror again and carefully place your phone down on the edge of the sink. Your hand slowly comes up to push aside the collar of your dress, pull the stretchy material past your shoulder and down your arm. You do the same to the other side, slipping out of your sleeves and tugging down the high neckline of your dress to expose your bare chest to the mirror, putting your cleavage on display. You bite your lip, willing yourself to see what Joel sees, a pretty girl in a pretty dress, bra straps clinging to her skin and a crucifix hanging from her throat. Filthy.

You grab your phone and turn it toward the mirror, opening up your camera app and moving it close enough so he can see only your torso, sleeves hanging limp at your sides while your other arm comes up to squeeze your breasts together a bit, accentuating your cleavage even more. You snap a pic and send it to him before you can talk yourself out of it.

He replies seconds later:

Fuck

A grin spreads across your face and you make quick work of slipping your bra straps down your shoulders as well, just as another text from him comes in:

Send me another baby. Please.

Already one step ahead of you, you think to yourself as your cheeks warm and you pull down the cups of your bra, your breasts spilling out into the cool air of the bathroom. You squeeze them together again, nipples hardening tightly as you take another picture and send it along with a coy message:

better?

He must be staring at his phone, waiting for it, because his typing bubble appears instantaneously. You can't help but feel a sense of pride at the power you're holding right now, a change of pace from your usual naivety.

Oh babygirl. This is just what I needed.

i know :)

You glance at the bathroom door and then at the time - you still have a few minutes before the meeting starts up again and your mind is already racing with what you can do with those few minutes. With barely any hesitation you tug your dress up over your thighs, pulling your panties to the side and aiming your phone underneath. You frown when you pull your phone back up to find that it's dark and blurry.

"Hold on," you whisper to no one, then carefully lift your leg and place your heel on the countertop for support, pulling your dress up again and aiming your phone a little better. You pull back your panties and aren't surprised in the slightest to feel that they're suddenly damp.

This picture comes out much better. Your pussy is bare and a little wet, clit poking out past your lips, panties pulled against your inner thigh. You already know it's gonna make him crazy as you hit send.

Jesus Christ

He's already typing something else when you receive it and you can't help but giggle, covering your mouth and trying to picture where he is right now, what he's doing. Is he in a bathroom too? On a break? Or is he in the middle of a job, surrounded by other people? The latter thought makes you even wetter somehow.

Fuck you have such a pretty pussy baby.

thank you mr. miller :)

Will you hold her open a little for me? Show me that sweet little hole?

Who are you to deny such a request? With heat radiating all over your body you bring your phone down again and scissor your lips apart, exposing the innermost part of yourself to your phone camera. You can feel your own slick on the tips of your fingers, and when you push yourself open you feel a bit of your wetness dribble down onto your palm. Fuck. This is hotter than you'd expected it would be. You'd thought it would be a good way to make him feel better, get him through his work day like he'd said; you never thought you'd enjoy it this much.

Oh sweetheart. Look at that.

You feel another rush of pride as you take your leg down from the counter and tug your dress back down, rubbing your thighs together and doing everything in your power not to touch yourself again even though you want to. A quiet whimper unconsciously tears itself past your lips at his follow-up message:

Who's that perfect pussy belong to babygirl?

You've never typed a message back so fast in your life.

you. it's yours mr. miller.

That's right. Good girl.

Your skin is on fire, body tingling in all the right places. You smooth a hand down your bare chest, cup one of your breasts, gently squeeze. It's impossible for your eyes not to roll back a bit when you imagine Joel's hand on you instead, big and firm and callused and perfect. Your pussy throbs in your underwear and another whimper slips past your lips.

i'm really wet now :(

I know angel. Come over tonight and I'll take care of it, Ok?

Your heart leaps at the invitation, even more wetness pooling in your panties at the thought of what Joel might want to do tonight, if there's another “lesson” he has in mind.

yes please

Eyeing the time again, you bite your lip in disappointment when you realize you should probably be getting back. You wait until Joel has finished typing his final response, a message that makes your skin burn with anticipation:

Don't touch yourself til you see me. Keep that soft little pussy hidden, baby. Promise me.

i promise x

Just as you hit send you suddenly hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps down the hall, quickly approaching the bathroom. Your eyes widen in the mirror, gaze snapping to your bare breasts, sleeves still hanging loosely at your sides. In a panic you hurriedly attempt to stuff yourself back into your bra before you have company – but you're not that lucky.

The bathroom door bangs open and you freeze with one arm halfway through your sleeve, breasts still completely exposed in the mirror as you turn on the spot to see none other than Bethany standing there, frozen in place.

“I-” she looks flabbergasted, expression one of pure horror as she takes a step back from you and grips the knob of the door like she could rip it off at any moment. Your free arm that isn't trapped in a sleeve comes up to cover yourself as best you can, but you know she's already seen everything.

“I'm- I was just-” You're similarly taken aback and at a complete loss for words, unsure how the fuck you can explain what exactly she's just walked in on.

Her eyes fall to the phone in your hand, like she's putting the pieces together, then she shakily takes another step back and leaves without saying another word, the click of her heels echoing back at you loudly until the door finishes closing behind her.

Shit.

You don't have time to stand around thinking up an excuse; you do briefly consider escaping through one of the windows to avoid facing her, but you know it would just delay the inevitable. Instead you hastily finish pulling your dress back on and stare at yourself in the mirror for one final moment.

Your smile is gone. So is the light in your eyes. You suddenly begin to feel that familiar sense of guilt creeping in, the shame, the sin. You blink a few times and find that there are tears welling up in your eyes, a lump in your throat. A tiny voice in the back of your mind, one you've been attempting to mute for years, whispers to you: What have you done?

--

Bethany doesn't speak to or look at you for the rest of the meeting. It's not much of a change from before you'd gone to the bathroom, but there's something new in her silence now, something you can see in her eyes as she stares down at her binder while the other women talk. Fear. You've known her for most of your life, can sense certain mood changes from a mile away; you've frightened her. And somehow that just adds even more to the guilt building in your stomach.

You'll apologize to her after the meeting, it's all you can do. You genuinely feel horrible that she'd walked in on something so private, seen something she never intended or desired to ever see. You wonder if there's anything you can use to pass off as an excuse; maybe you spilled something on your dress and were cleaning it off? Maybe it was too tight and you needed a breather? Anything is better than the alternative – the truth – but you somehow doubt she'll believe anything you say at this point. That bridge was broken the second you left for college; there's no repairing it now.

The meeting ends with a few pleasantries exchanged and several comments about picking kids up from school, getting home to cook something for dinner, normal things that remind you how abnormal your own situation is in comparison. Half an hour ago you'd felt on top of the world, in control, had power in the tips of your fingers. Now you just feel small again, inconsequential.

You wait until the other ladies have left before taking a step toward Bethany, ready to unload your apologies and beg for forgiveness. She surprises you by speaking first.

"I'd think twice before wearing that again,” she hisses at you, venomous and pointed. Your eyes widen.

"Excuse me?"

"I said,” her words are slow and full of bitter intention, eyes glaring daggers at you, “I'd think twice before wearing that again" she gestures to the crucifix around your neck and you unconsciously reach up to take it between your fingers, glancing down at it before looking back up to meet her angry gaze.

“I'm...” you feel overwhelmed, tears pricking in your eyes again at the sudden burst of rage being directed at you, “I don't...”

"You might not understand this,” she practically spits through her teeth, “but that symbol actually means something to the people here."

"I know what it means.” It comes out as barely a whisper, voice shaky as she takes an intimidating step toward you with nothing but malice in her expression.

"So that's why you've got your breasts out in a public bathroom? A church bathroom?”

“Bethany, I-”

“You're not welcome here anymore, understand?” her voice is full of finality, “You can come to church with your parents-” The mention of your parents sends your anxiety into a tailspin, heart beating frantically in your chest as she continues to step closer and closer toward you, “And you can pretend you're their good little girl. But I know the truth. And it's not welcome in my Sunday School ever again. Got it?”

My Sunday school. The superiority complex is strong and you know deep down that this is all completely rooted in her own fears, her own desires, her pride, but none of that seems to matter when she's staring you down like this, holding you captive with her hostile words.

"Got it,” you whisper, nodding shakily.

"Good. Now go home and take," she points toward the crucifix, the tip of her finger close enough to faintly brush against the shape of it, “that,” she suddenly prods it, giving you one final sneer, “off.”

It takes you twenty minutes to leave the parking lot after that, tears blurring your vision as you cry in your car and try not to let the shame completely envelop you.

--

Going to Joel's that night carries none of the anticipation you'd felt earlier this afternoon; instead you feel nothing but shame as you steal your mother's house key from its dish in the hallway, closing the front door behind you as softly as you can and hurrying out into the night. There's no excitement or rush like the last time you'd done this. You feel like you could cry at any moment as you approach Joel's house, climbing his front steps with a heavy weight on your shoulders that wasn't there before, that hasn't been there in weeks.

The door opens before you can even turn the knob – he must have been watching from his window, waiting for you in anticipation for tonight's “lesson”. Your stomach lurches.

“There's my little Sunday School girl,” he murmurs, taking your hand and tugging you gently inside.

“Please don't call me that,” you say quietly, head down.

He shuts the door behind you and takes your hands in his – you can feel his eyes on you but you're unsure of the look on his face, what expression is on it. Does he sense there's something wrong? Or is he waiting for you to jump his bones?

“Hey,” his voice is soft, concerned, “Hey, look at me, sweetheart.”

You shake your head, still staring at the floor.

“What happened, babygirl?” he murmurs, one of his hands releasing yours to come up and stroke your cheek gently, thumb grazing the wetness beneath your eyes, “Why're you cryin', darlin'? C'mere.” His finger travels down to your chin, pushes your face up to look at him.

His expression is worried, brow furrowed and forehead creased, a frown playing at his lips. You feel your heartbeat slow, the weight on your shoulders decreasing just a little bit as safety settles in your bones. He cares.

“I had a horrible day,” you whisper, feeling tears trickle down into the corners of your mouth, “I know you want to...want to...” you shake your head, “Whatever we were gonna do. But I don't think I can tonight, Joel. I don't feel good.”

“Oh, babygirl,” he breathes, releasing your chin and immediately wrapping you up in his embrace, arms tightening around you as he pulls you against his chest, “We don't have to do anythin', don't even worry about that.”

You bury your face in his chest, breathe him in. His flannel underneath your mattress is nothing compared to the real thing, the real smell of him overtaking your senses and filling you with a true feeling of warmth and safety. His arms are so big – he's so big – and without meaning to you find yourself going completely limp in his arms, bones turning to jelly. It's like finally breathing in the fresh air after holding your breath underwater, a natural reaction to finally being where you belong.

He doesn't question your body's response, almost seems to understand completely as he pulls you up from the floor and adjusts you slightly to cradle you in his arms, carrying you past the living room, past the kitchen, up the stairs and to his bedroom. You just close your eyes and bury your face in his shirt, inhale the scent of sawdust and sweat and cedar and Joel.

He tips you gently onto his bed, presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before settling in beside you without saying anything. You feel his arm wrap around you, tug you in closer beside him as he noses your hair and lets you just exist.

Minutes pass before you finally break the comfortable silence, voice quiet and small - “I feel so ashamed.”

You feel his brow furrow in your hair and you turn around to face him, bringing your arm up around his torso and pressing your hand firmly against his back. He looks at you with confusion, concern.

You tell him everything. About Bethany, your friendship with her and Alice before you left for college, the way you'd already begun to lose your faith even then. You tell him about your mom, about the silent treatment and her reaction to the white lie, the lie that's practically nothing in the grand scheme of deceit you've been weaving these past few weeks. You talk about church and Sunday School and all the guilt you'd felt in that little room growing up, how being there again felt wrong and uncomfortable. You tell him how free you'd felt in the bathroom with your camera, the power you'd felt, reclaimed, and how all of it had been snatched away from you the second Bethany had entered. How she'd destroyed any semblance of confidence you'd been able to find today, how she'd shamed you for the crucifix that you don't even want to be wearing. It's the most you've ever told him, the most you've ever talked to him about anything.

And he listens.

He doesn't seem put out by your venting, annoyed or irritated or ready to send you home at any minute. He just nods, frowns at the right moments, strokes your arm and your cheek, kisses your forehead when you start to cry. Wipes the tears away when you apologize for crying. He stays with you and remains present and attentive, lets you talk and talk until you start to apologize for how much you've been talking.

“I know this isn't even what you signed up for,” you blubber, shaking your head and bringing your hands up to cover your face, “I'm sorry I keep bringing so much- so many complications into your life.”

“Shh,” he soothes, placing his large hands on yours and pulling them away from your tired eyes, leaning in to brush his nose against yours, “Stop apologizin', baby. Stop. You've got nothin' to be sorry for.”

You suddenly sit up in bed, leaning back against the headboard and bringing a hand up to touch the crucifix still clasped around your neck. You hadn't taken it off like she'd told you to do; you'd felt like doing so would have made you weak, would have been like giving up, even though you'd never wanted to even wear it again in the first place.

“Why does this little thing have so much fucking power over me?” you ask aloud, not directed at Joel but more-so to yourself, “My whole life, no one has ever seen me, they've just seen this.” You shake your head, squeezing the tiny cross in your hand. “And wearing it again has just brought all that shit back, it's done absolutely nothing good. Wore it for my mom and she still gives me the silent treatment. Wore it for Bethany and she still treats me like garbage, tells me to take it off. It's just a fucking necklace.”

Joel sits up beside you, places a warm hand on your thigh and peers at you with those soft brown eyes, lulling you back into a sense of calm, of serenity.

“Give it to me,” he says quietly.

Your brow furrows in confusion. You stare at him for a moment, then watch as he carefully brings his hands up to graze his callused fingertips against your neck, brushing the chain.

“I'll take it off your hands for a bit,” he murmurs, “Outta sight, outta mind. And if you want it back, I'll have it ready for you. How's that sound?”

You nod slowly to yourself, feeling your eyes begin to sting again at his words, “...Good. Th-that sounds good.”

Without saying anything else you hear the sound of the clasp being undone, feel the chain slip away from your skin as Joel takes it from you. You turn your head to watch as he fists it in his palm for a moment, gaze thoughtful and faraway as he traces the shape of the cross with his thumb. A few seconds later he opens his bedside table and carefully places it inside, then shuts the drawer.

And just like that, the weight is gone.

--

You take a shower in his bathroom again, wanting to wash this day off you and start over, clean slate. You could have had one when you got home from the meeting earlier but you'd instead opted to just lay in bed feeling sorry for yourself for much longer than you'd needed to. Now you close your eyes and let the hot water envelop you, wash yourself with Joel's body wash and allow yourself to become his again, picturing him laying in his bed in the other room, waiting for you. This is what matters. This moment. Right now.

You enter his bedroom wrapped in one of his towels, drops of water still spilling down your skin onto the hardwood floor. He's sitting up in bed, shirtless with his legs hidden under the covers. He's seemingly deep in thought as he stares at his phone screen, brows scrunched together. You watch as he pulls the phone away from himself, eyes squinting and lips parting a bit, then pulls it back, like he can't see what he's looking at properly. You realize that's probably the case.

“You need glasses,” you say with a soft giggle, and his expression relaxes when he sees you standing there, phone going back on his nightstand.

“I have glasses,” he admits sheepishly, giving you a tender smile, “Just hate wearin' 'em.”

“Of course,” you roll your eyes and take a few steps forward, still gripping the towel around yourself. His eyes fall to the parts of you that are bare, revelling in the way the lamplight reflects on your wet skin. You feel tingles erupt through your senses under his gaze.

“Are you naked?” you ask softly.

He shakes his head, “Wearin' pants, don't worry.”

You stand there for a moment, staring. He just stares back, eyebrows going up a bit while he waits for you to say something else. When you don't, he tilts his head slightly, appraising you.

“Do you want me to be naked, babygirl?”

You're answering before you even really know what you want, "Yes."

Without needing to be told twice he reaches under the covers with both hands and shimmies his way out of his pajama bottoms, staying hidden under the sheets as he tosses them out onto the floor. You bite your lip, still just standing there staring at him without moving. You're still dripping everywhere, a little puddle of water forming at your feet the longer you stay frozen.

He raises his finger and playfully curls it toward himself with a smile, "C'mere, baby," he murmurs, "Be naked with me."

You don't need telling twice either.

The towel drops from your body, landing in the puddle of water on the floor - easy cleanup. You feel heat radiating through every inch of your bare skin as you walk toward the bed, avoiding Joel's eyes and quickly slipping in beside him. You really don't know what you're doing - you'd said when you got here that you didn't want to do anything, not tonight, and it's still true. But part of you just aches to be close to Joel, to feel his warm heat, his rough skin, be connected to him somehow. It's what you've wanted all week.

You inch in beside him, back against the headboard, your bare thigh touching his lightly beneath the sheets, and you find yourself tensing up unconsciously. He clocks your reaction immediately.

"You don't gotta be nervous, angel," he tells you softly, soothingly.

You swallow and take a deep breath, "It's hard not to be," you whisper, though there's no reason to, "I'm just... I'm so..."

"What?" he asks, brown eyes seeking yours in the dim light. His hand comes up to cradle your face, thumb swiping beneath your eye again like he's checking for more tears - luckily you're feeling much better in that department.

You sigh, shrugging slightly, "I don't know what I'm doing," your eyes fall down to the duvet, knowing that if you pulled it back you'd see your bodies touching underneath, his rough and tan skin pressed against yours, soft and untouched, "I mean, I don't even know why I came tonight. I knew I didn't- that I didn't want to-" you sigh again in frustration, unable to find the right words, "I just... I missed you," your eyes travel back up to meet his, "I just wanted to be near you."

His expression softens, still stroking your cheek as he peers into your eyes, "You feel safe with me, don't you?" You nod. "You know I won't do anythin' you don't want me to do, right?" Another nod. "So it's okay to just relax when you're with me."

You grimace, "How can I relax when we're naked in bed together?"

He chuckles, dropping his hand from your face and shuffling down into the bed a bit, away from the headboard, "Okay, time for another lesson."

You feel your heart sink again, worried that he's not understanding - probably because you can't explain it right - but he smiles reassuringly at you and curls his finger slightly, urging you to follow him downwards. With a quiet inhale you slowly inch away from the headboard and further down into the bed, beneath the duvet. You both stop moving when your heads hit the pillows, laying down fully beside each other.

"Gettin' naked doesn't always mean there has to be sex," he says softly, and you watch as he very slowly brings his hand down beneath the duvet; you know where it's going before it touches you, but you still shiver when you feel his fingers brush lightly against your bare arm, "Us bein' naked in bed together doesn't mean anythin' has to happen."

"But earlier today I said..." you trail off, shaking your head, "I promised that-"

"Earlier is earlier," he brushes your arm again, tender and comforting, "Circumstances change, your day got shitty. Mine was no better. It happens."

His hand travels downward, toward the skin of your hip. He curls his palm around your bare flesh and gently massages it, thumb stroking the edge of your tummy. It's intimate and new, but somehow it feels more safe and comforting than sexual, like he's simply doing something casual, normal.

"Sometimes you just wanna lay in bed with someone" he murmurs, still touching you tenderly, "No expectations, no pressure. No nothin'. Sure, it's fun to touch each other and be together like that, but if you just wanna sleep..." his fingertips brush your back gently, then press firmly into your skin as he pulls you a bit closer toward him, "If you just wanna lay here with me, that's okay too."

You're not sure what to think, staring at him with a million different thoughts flooding your mind. Your interpretation of what men want has always been a bit of a grey area, but you've heard enough from both your family and your friends to know that most of them are just after one thing. You'd heard it from your parents your whole life who always warned about non-Christian boys and their sinful thoughts, then from the girls at college who dealt with disrespect and catcalls, men who turned on them in an instant the second they realized they weren't getting any.

Joel isn't like that. Sure, he wants sex - that's been obvious since day one, when he'd invited you inside his house within minutes of meeting you. He'd only had one thing on his mind, just like your parents had always said. But he hadn't thrown a fit when you'd said no, and up until this point he's made it abundantly clear that the ball is in your court, that it's up to you what happens between the two of you.

"I know all this stuff can be scary," he continues softly when you don't reply, "I know you're embarrassed about bein' so inexperienced, but you don't need to be. I'm here to make it easier for you; I want you to be comfortable."

He nudges forward a bit and slowly begins to wrap his arms around you, warm and inviting. You let him, body going loose and comfortable in his grasp as you feel your eyes close; safe. You feel so safe.

"You're so warm," is all you can think to say, loving the way it feels to have his broad and hairy chest pressed up against your bare breasts, his big and strong arms winding around your smaller form.

He chuckles softly and you feel him press a gentle kiss to your cheek, beard scratching your skin in your favorite way. You bring your arms up and hug him back beneath the blankets, feeling your naked thighs press firmly against his. You're aware of his cock - it's hard not to be, not when it's pressed gently against the base of your tummy, soft against your skin - but he doesn't rub himself against you or do anything to initiate more than this, more than just being together like he'd said.

He really means it, you know he does.

"I can't wait to have sex with you," you hear yourself whisper in his ear; it sounds dirty but you don't mean it to be, "I just...I'm really glad it's gonna be you."

And I'm pretty sure I'm falling for you.

--

You wake up the next morning to a firm and solid presence at your back, bare and warm and comfy. You're surprised you're awake before Joel's alarm, wondering what exactly woke you up in the first place - and then you feel it. Something wet and sticky against your lower back, something pulsing and twitching every so often against your skin.

Good morning.

He hadn't pressed his cock against you like this last night when you were cuddling, hadn't asked you to touch it or even acknowledged its presence. But sleeping Joel is an entirely different person, his big arms wrapped around you tightly, one splayed across your belly while the other holds your right breast, cups it like it's meant to fit there. He holds you in place firmly, breath at your neck, nose in your hair.

You're not sure how much time you have left before his alarm goes off. The sun is only barely starting to come up outside the window, so it could start ringing at any time now. All you know is that the sensation of having him so close to you like this, his most intimate part so close to yours, so wet and warm, it's making you all wet and warm. Your skin almost feels itchy, especially at your neck where his warm breath leaves a damp spot beneath your ear, a spot you're suddenly longing for him to kiss, to lick.

"Joel," you breathe, unable to wait any longer, scared that at any moment he'll have to leave the bed and start getting ready for work.

No response.

"Joel," you repeat, a bit louder this time, and with his name you carefully grind back against him a little bit, the wet head of his cock trailing back and forth against your warm skin. He makes a grumbling noise in his chest, pulls you in a bit closer, "Joel, wake up," you moan, painfully aware of the shape of his balls against your ass, big and heavy and suddenly the hottest thing you've ever felt in your life.

"What?" he groans, rousing from sleep, "What is it?"

It's all the confirmation of awareness you need to suddenly turn in the sheets, bring the duvet down to expose your naked bodies to the both of you. His eyes are bleary and tired as he watches you from beneath heavy eyelids, sees where your gaze has settled.

His cock lays long and thick and loose against his tummy, round tip drooling precum into the hair smattered above his belly button. God, he's so big. Your lips part, saliva filling your mouth like it had the last time you saw it, like somehow your body knows exactly what the next step is.

"I wanna put my mouth on it," you whisper, pushing your hair back behind your ears and turning your gaze back to Joel's face, "Please."

His eyebrows go up in surprise, eyelashes fluttering with sleep. He's probably wondering where this is coming from, how the girl in his bed right now is the same one who just wanted to be held last night, but he doesn't seem to be complaining. He nods quickly, stretches his arms above his head and tries to rouse himself even more from sleep.

"Of course you can, baby," he mutters huskily, voice deep and dripping with arousal, "Go ahead."

"Tell me if I'm doing something wrong," you murmur softly, and before you can even fully process what you're doing or question if you'll even be good at it, your lips are pressing against the warm heat of his wet tip.

He hisses immediately and you pull back, frightened for a moment that you've already fucked up somehow. He shakes his head quickly at you, "No, no, you're good baby, that's good," one of his hands comes down to settle against the back of your head, fingers tangling gently in your hair, "Give it a kiss, just like that."

And you do. Time is already not on your side - you feel like there's a countdown clock hanging over your head as you press another kiss in the same spot, his precum sticky on your lips. You'd thought it might be gross, had heard lots about blowjobs from your friends and how unpleasant they can be, but when your tongue darts out to carefully prod against where he's leaking, you find that it doesn't bother you that much at all.

"Tastes funny," you murmur softly, peppering a few more kisses around the wide head and then down to his shaft, thumbing the prominent vein on the underside as you do it.

"Kinda gross, huh?" you hear him say softly above you, a strained edge to his voice that makes you smile against him.

"I think I like it, actually," you admit softly, tongue darting out once again to slowly lap up a bead at the tip. You're not lying; there's something masculine and sexy and inherently Joel about it, something you hadn't been expecting.

"That's good, sweetheart," he murmurs, stroking the back of your head gently, "That's so good, angel." You don't know whether he means your opinion on the taste or simply a reaction to the things you're doing with your tongue, but either way you keep going, hoping that the alarm doesn't interrupt you.

You wrap your lips around the tip carefully, pulling it into your mouth and sucking it gently - very gently. He makes a breathless sound above you and you can't help but bring your gaze up to his face, your eyes meeting his as you swallow him down.

"That's it, that's a good girl," he breathes, thumbing a strand of hair at your temple and pushing it behind your ear, eyes dark, "Look at you."

You swirl your tongue around the tip, still making sure to keep eye contact with him as you carefully slip more of him inside your mouth. He's so big, there's absolutely no way you'll be able to fit all of him inside, at least not without some practice. He doesn't seem to mind that you can only take a little bit of him, his thumb coming downward to stroke gently at the corner of your mouth. He wipes away a bit of drool pooling there, brows furrowing.

"You're doin' so good, angel," he whispers, nodding slowly to you in reassurance as you very slowly begin to lift your head up and down, up and down, eyes going hazy, "Takin' that cock so well."

His words spur you on, encourage you to take a little bit more. You've got about half of him in your mouth and you already know you won't be able to take anymore, the spongey tip pushing dangerously close to your gag reflex. You absolutely do not want to choke, don't want to ruin this in any way. You want him to feel good. Feel better.

"Oh, honey," he groans softly when you begin to palm his balls, rolling them gently and feeling their fullness, round and heavy, "This mouth," he touches the corner of your lips again, a bit harder this time, trails his fingers downward to grip your chin, "Made to have my cock in there, huh?" his eyes are boring into yours, pupils blown wide, "You like havin' your mouth full like that, babygirl?"

You nod and whimper around his length, speeding up a little bit and never breaking eye contact with him, obsessed with watching his eyes get darker and darker, filling more and more with lust as he watches you pleasure him.

"Yeah, you do," he murmurs, voice soothing again like last night, calm and safe, "What a good girl you are, wakin' me up to suck my cock. Couldn't wait, could ya, baby?" you shake your head and the head of his cock slips past your throat a little too far, so much that you have to pull off him quickly to be sure you don't gag, "Aw, baby, that's okay," he reassures you gently, "It's a lot, I know."

Your eyes are hooded and your jaw is already starting to ache - you're not used to doing something like this and he knows it, strokes your cheek gently as he takes his cock in his hand and carefully pushes the tip against your lips.

"You just kiss it, baby," he whispers, dark and deep, "Kiss that cock 'til I come, okay?"

You do as you're told, lips parting slightly as he rubs the head of his cock against your lips and strokes himself a few more times, bringing himself close to the edge. He's so gorgeous like this, so rugged and almost animalistic as his chest heaves, groans escaping his mouth as he watches your lips. His hand is still in your hair, grip getting tighter and tighter as you lean down a bit so he can gently fuck the tip of his cock back into your mouth. Your eyes close involuntarily and you can feel your pussy throbbing against the mattress with every thrust, lips tight around him.

"Ah, fuck," he grits out suddenly, then pulls his cock away from your mouth and releases all over his chest and stomach, thighs tensing up as you watch his eyes practically roll back into his head. Your eyes are wide and attentive, locked onto the white ropes of come that spurt against his bare skin. You find yourself wondering what it would feel like at the back of your throat instead, on your tongue, what it would taste like...

Your thoughts are interrupted by Joel's alarm going off, loud and obnoxious. Before he can pull himself up to turn it off, you lean over to the nightstand and do it yourself, swiping it off and turning back to his blissed out form. He lies there panting for a moment, eyes closed. You can't help but smile, feeling pride swell in your chest again at the knowledge that you made him feel like this.

"Don't go back to sleep," you whisper softly, "You gotta go to work."

He groans then, but opens his eyes and gives you a crooked smile and a wink, expression still sleepy and satisfied, "Who needs an alarm clock when I got you, huh?" He gestures with his finger for you to move closer and you do, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips, "Mornin', darlin'," he murmurs against your mouth.

"Morning," you whisper back, and you revel in the smile on his face when you pull away, "Sorry for jumping your bones so early."

He just shakes his head with a wide smile, "Never apologize for jumpin' my bones, baby." His eyes fall to your naked body, settling on your pussy, still wet and aching against the sheets, "Aw, sweetheart, lemme take care of that for you."

You shake your head, pointing to his phone, "We don't have time, you gotta get to work and I gotta get home before my parents wake up," you slip out of bed and reach down to pick up the clothes you'd stripped yourself of last night before your shower. He starts to protest but you put your hand up with a soft laugh, "It's okay, Joel. I wanted to do this for you, start your day out right. Give you a chance at a good day."

He peers up at you from the bed, face smooshed into the pillow as he watches you get dressed, "Doesn't seem fair."

You just roll your eyes, pulling on your panties and shorts and pointing to his phone again, "Really, we need to hurry," you bite your lip as you slip your t-shirt over your head, "I have keys this time but I still don't wanna risk it."

"Okay, okay," he grumbles softly, "I'm goin'."

He slips out of bed and stretches, tilting his body back and forth. You both hear the way his bones crack, the noise that emits from his throat when he bends his back a certain way. You watch his expression change, going from content and sated to embarrassed and grumpy in seconds.

"And just like that, the illusion is gone," he mutters to himself, limping away from the bed and toward the door without so much as a side glance to you, clearly upset by the sudden reminder of his age. You frown, watching him go and feeling an ache in your chest that makes a home there for the rest of the morning.

--

He'd made you breakfast last time, so it's only fair that you make something for him today. Unfortunately cooking has never been your forte, so about fifteen minutes later you're waving a dish rag at the fire alarm while the sausages you'd managed to burn are smoking in the sink. Joel comes running down the stairs after his shower with a look of concern on his face, only for it to fade into one of amusement when he sees the situation.

"Now why am I teachin' you guitar when you clearly don't know how to even use a stove?"

"Oh, shut up," you can't even pretend to be mad at him, grin spreading across your face as you shake your head and breathe a sigh of relief when the alarm stops going off, "Help me clean this up."

You end up making toast instead.

"You know, we've still got about ten minutes," he says across from you at the table as you eat, peering down at his watch quickly.

"Yeah, 'cause I fail as a cook," you mutter, making a face at your slice of toast, "I was gonna do eggs too, you know."

"Let's not reach for the stars too quickly now," he says with a sly smile, putting his hand up quickly when you prepare to retort, "Anyway, that's not what I meant."

"What did you-" you look up from your toast and see him beckoning you toward him again like he had last night, finger curling toward himself with a sly smile on his face.

You look at the clock on the oven, biting your lip.

"It'll take five minutes tops," he says, and you raise your eyebrow at him.

"Really?" you challenge, "Five minutes?"

"Five minutes."

That, you'd like to see. Dropping your toast back onto the plate, you stand up and walk to the other side of the table, unsure what exactly he wants you to do. He spreads his legs a bit, points to his thigh.

"Sit here, babygirl," he says, voice low and hypnotic, "Wanna show you somethin' new."

Yes please.

You situate yourself on his lap, one leg going between his thighs while the other dangles carefully off the other side of the chair. He pulls you down, big hands coming up to palm your hips and hold you there firmly. You swallow tightly, unsure exactly what he has in mind.

"You know what feels really good?" he murmurs, thumbs slowly stroking the bare skin between your shirt and your shorts.

"What?" you whisper, peering down into his eyes with intrigue.

"This," he says softly, then very slowly begins to move your hips, dragging you carefully back and forth along his thigh. Your eyebrows shoot up, lips parting as you feel the ache in your core immediately return, the pressure of his thigh and the movement of his hands setting your nerves alight.

He looks down at his own handiwork, watches as he moves you back and forth, back and forth, rocking you over and over again until you're whimpering in his lap, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders. He just smiles up at you, doesn't stop his movements.

"Yeah, that feels good, doesn't it?" he breathes, watching your expression closely, "Feels good to finally have somethin' touchin' that pussy, huh baby?"

You moan at his words, hands slipping from his shoulders to wrap around him as you lean forward to bury your face in his neck. He just starts to move you faster, chuckling softly to himself when your hips buck against him. It's amazing how such a simple action can feel so fucking good, the constant stimulation against your clit through layers of material making you writhe and whimper.

He removes one of his hands from your hips and slips it inside the leg of your shorts, fingertips tickling your inner thigh gently. You grapple onto him even tighter, hugging him like a koala as his thumb slowly begins to stroke you through the wet spot of your panties.

"Couldn't stop thinkin' about this pussy yesterday," he murmurs, thumb rubbing your clit over and over in little circles, "Those pictures were so filthy, baby."

You moan against his shoulder, gripping him tighter as his thumb begins to pick up speed. He presses a kiss to your neck, wet and hot; it makes your eyes roll back.

"And this little hole," he murmurs in your ear, suddenly adding a finger inside your shorts to circle your entrance slowly, "Kept thinkin' about this tiny little hole, all open for me."

God, when he talks like that you can't even fucking think, brain running on autopilot as he pulls you impossibly closer and lets you bare down on his thigh, his finger and thumb trapped under your weight, pressed firmly against your core.

"Who's gonna fill up that hole, babygirl?" he whispers in your ear, soft and secret, "Huh? Who's that hole belong to?"

"You," you whimper into his shoulder, eyes shut tight as he strokes his finger up and down through the fabric, adding even more pressure to the overwhelming sensations you're already feeling "It's yours, Mr. Miller."

"And what's gonna go inside it, sweetheart?"

"Hnhng," you can't speak, inhaling shakily as Joel's other hand presses harder against your hip and continues to guide you, fucking you back and forth against his thigh. He just watches you, eyes dark, lips parted, brow furrowed.

"Words, babygirl," he reminds you softly, "Use your words. What's gonna go inside that tight little hole? Huh? Tell me."

"Y-your cock."

"That's right," he murmurs, the tip of his finger prodding inside you gently, taking the damp material of your panties with it, "Gonna fill you up so deep with my cock, honey. You're gonna feel it right here," he moves his hand up and places it at the base of your belly, pushes against it softly, "Gonna be so big inside you, sweet girl."

Oh fuck.

"I want it so bad," you groan, wrapping your arms even tighter around him, "I need it Mr. Miller."

"You do need it," he agrees softly as he kisses the top of your head, bringing his hand back down from your belly to guide you again, moving you back and forth "Need to be fucked so bad, don't you baby? Til you can't even think straight."

You nod frantically, continuing to grind yourself down against his thigh over and over and over, "Please," you whimper, almost a squeak, "Please, Mr. Miller."

"Shh," he soothes, pulling you in closer and moving your hips against him, looking at you with those big brown eyes full of lust and safety, "I will, babygirl. Soon. I'll fuck you so good, honey. I promise." Your body hitches in his lap as you near the edge, eyes going wide and mouth popping open as your orgasm starts to hit you, "Yeah? You like thinkin' about that, huh? Me fuckin' this soaked little pussy into my mattress? Fillin' you up so deep you can feel me in your stomach?"

You can't hold on anymore, eyes shutting tight and high pitched whimpers flowing past your lips as you start to come. He pins you against his thigh, holds you there tight and firm as your pussy pulses and throbs through his pants. You lean forward to bury your face in his neck as you ride it out, feel his hand press against your back.

"Oh, good girl, that's it, baby," he murmurs, kissing your temple gently and stroking your back in little circles, "Come all over my lap, sweetheart. Show me how wet she can get, there you go. Good girl."

After a moment of catching your breath and willing yourself to pull your face away from his neck, you both bring your attention to the clock on the stove - five minutes have passed.

"Told ya," he murmurs, pulling you into one more hug, hitching his chin over your shoulder and rubbing your back gently as your head lolls against him.

You're too blissed out to tease him back.

--

The arrivals gate isn't as busy as you'd expected, thankfully. You lean against your car a few hours later, still reeling from your morning with Joel as you wait for Tasha to show up. You'd told him about your weekend plans before you'd left, insisting that despite spending time with Tasha you'd still be attending your Saturday lesson.

"Can't wait," he'd murmured to you, low and deep in your ear after giving you one final kiss at the door, "Got somethin' real special planned, babygirl."

You'd practically melted down his front steps.

"THERE'S MY FAVORITE SLUT!!" you suddenly hear someone shout, and you look up to see Tasha at the sliding doors, bags dropping to the ground as she sprints at you head on and collides with you seconds later, wrapping her arms around you tightly.

She's just the same as she was the last time you saw her, high spirited and excitable and sweet, practically vibrating in your arms with joy. Only she could rock a bright purple cowboy hat and sweatpants, not to mention the lime green flip flops.

"Oh my god," you gasp in her ear, hugging her back and spinning on the spot, "You're insane."

"I'M EXCITED!" she squeals, pulling away from you and clapping her hands together, "We're going out tonight!!! Together!!! For the first time ever!" She brings her hands up and places one on either side of your face, lips turning down into a pout, "My baby bird is leaving the nest," she sighs dreamily, shaking her head, "I never thought this day would come."

"Please get in the car," you laugh, popping the trunk and gesturing to her bags, "before I change my mind and send you back."

--

You give Tasha the complete run-down on Joel as you get ready at the Airbnb, updating her on everything that's happened since you'd last checked in. It feels so good to actually talk about it, not text or simply mull it over and over in your head. She gasps at all the right spots, makes ridiculous faces in the mirror as she curls her hair, nearly drops the curling iron on the floor when you tell her about this morning.

"AND YOU LIKED HOW IT TASTED?" she practically screams, running out of the room and then running back in like she has no idea what to do with herself, "Oh my god, you are down bad. Jesus Christ," she makes a face, "Sorry, I mean- uh, fuck."

"Tasha," you roll your eyes, "You can say Jesus Christ."

"I can?" her eyes widen and she sighs in relief, picking up the curling iron from the floor, "Thank god."

You're going clubbing tonight for the very first time; a night of dancing and cocktails and flirting and living out all the college dreams you still have yet to experience. You're a bit tentative about the flirting part though, a concept that floors Tasha immediately.

"You can't go clubbing and not flirt," she says with faux shock, spinning in front of you as she assesses her dress in the mirror, "It's the best part!"

"I have a-" you cut yourself off, making a face at your reflection.

"You do not have a boyfriend," Tasha says immediately, "There has been no definition, babe. You need to keep reminding yourself of that."

"But it's not just fucking," you argue with a grimace, "I mean, it's not even fucking at all, we still haven't taken that step yet."

"I know, I just don't want you to get your heart hurt, honey," she frowns, leaning toward the mirror and applying some lipstick, "Boys are mean."

"Well, Joel's not a boy," you say quietly, fingering the hem of your own dress, a short and cute pink number that Tasha had brought specifically for you to wear, "He's a man."

"Mmhm, so you keep telling me," she raises an eyebrow, "I think I need to see this man for myself. Give you my honest opinion, see if he's really this gorgeous, perfect hunk you make him out to be."

You bite your lip, trying not to smile as you think back to this morning, how he'd looked in the early morning light, naked and sleepy and beautiful. And all yours.

"He is," you murmur softly.

--

You're supposed to be going clubbing, supposed to be out dancing and drinking cocktails and living out all your college dreams for once in your life. But where are you instead?

"O'Neil's!!" Tasha says excitedly, pointing to the red neon sign outside the bar you've just arrived at, throwing you a shit-eating grin that just makes you playfully roll your eyes.

You never should have told her the name of the bar Joel frequents, because she's now made it her mission to find him, get a good look at him and judge for herself if he's really all you're making him out to be. It's your own fault, you suppose, considering that you don't have any pictures of him or any frame of reference to articulate exactly the way he looks. For Tasha he's shrouded in mystery, but not for much longer.

Your ears are already ringing when you get inside the bar, the chatter and buzz of other people's conversations flooding your thoughts. You're not used to being out like this, being around drunk people or high people or literally anyone whose ideal night out is spending time at a bar. It's nerve-wracking and you instantly feel like a fish out of water, gripping onto Tasha's arm after showing your ID to a man who ogled both of you way more than he needed to.

"So this is where he hangs out," Tasha says, assessing her surroundings and leading you towards the bar where most people seem to be gathered, "Quaint. Little divey. Definitely not for our crowd but hey, we're learning new things tonight." She taps the counter and tilts her head toward the bartender with a smile, "Watcha got on tap?"

You wrinkle your nose, "I thought we'd be having cocktails."

"Oh we will at the club, don't you worry. But if we want the authentic dive bar experience, beer is necessary," the bartender lists the options and Tasha orders, though you barely hear what either of them are saying over the loud music and conversations. Your eyes scan the bar for any sign of Joel, but people are packed so tightly in here that it's hard to really see anybody, faces and bodies melding together.

The bartender hands Tasha the drinks and she throws him a wink, "Thank you, darling."

You envy how easily she navigates a situation like this, so natural and graceful despite her surroundings that are anything but. She hands your beer to you with a smile and holds hers up in front of her, tilting it toward yours until they clink.

"To you finally coming out with me," she toasts with a grin, "It's about damn time."

You smile back and take a sip, trying your hardest not to wince at the bitter flavor. It's not like you've never tried alcohol before, you just already know that you hate beer.

"Delicious," you lie, and Tasha just laughs and gestures toward a suddenly empty booth in the corner of the room.

"Let's sit there while we suss him out," she mutters to you, pulling you along with her and slipping inside, "Now, what's he look like? You've been pretty vague about those details." She waggles her eyebrows, "Be honest, is he bald?"

You almost spit out your second sip, shaking your head furiously, "No, he's not bald. Full head of hair."

She puts her hands up in defense, "Hey, it's not that crazy to assume!"

You just shake your head and laugh, turning back toward the bar and the people and trying to get a gage on where he might be. You know he usually comes here with his contracting crew, but what the hell does a contracting crew even look like?

"Help me out, gimme a description!" Tasha says eagerly, wiggling in her seat a bit and following your gaze, "He has facial hair, right?"

"Yes, it's kinda messy and scruffy," you bite your lip, squinting a bit as if that'll help you.

"And what's his hair color?"

You don't look at her as you reply, "Um.. grey."

Tasha's hand slaps down on the table and you jump, eyes going wide as you turn back to her, "What?"

"Grey? Girl, how old is he?" she doesn't sound angry or judgmental - she sounds intrigued. And almost... impressed? You gnaw on your lip, scrunching your eyebrows together as you look back toward the crowd of people.

"Um... he's..." you stop short, freezing when your eyes land on a familiar shirt near the bar, a red and black plaid button down that you'd seen only hours ago, "There! He's there!" You point at him quickly, ducking your head a bit and motioning for Tasha to lean in closer to get a good look.

"Oh... my god," she breathes, and you feel a rush of pride at her response, unable to stop the grin from plastering itself to your face as you peer at him.

There's something different about him that you can't place - maybe it's just because you haven't seen him in a public place like this, aren't used to what he looks like when it's not just the two of you. You try to put your finger on it, and while you're doing so he does something that makes your heart positively swell in your chest.

He smiles. That beautiful crooked smile that pulled you in the day you met him, set your skin on fire and brought you to the point of no return. Those crinkly eyes, the grey in his beard, the softness of his eyes, they send that familiar feeling of safety rushing through your bones. And you realize there's nothing different about him at all. That's your Joel, sitting on a bar stool after a long day of work, nursing a glass of whisky and chatting about his day. He's the same Joel who you'd woken up with this morning, just in a different setting.

You're so distracted by his rugged beauty out in the open like this - overwhelmed by his charm and his smile - that it takes you a few seconds to see who exactly he's smiling at.

You feel your heart in your throat.

There's a woman sitting beside him. Not just beside him, but so close their stools are touching, so close her legs - long and lean and beautiful - are brushing his. It's not subtle the way her ankle moves against his calf, up and down, up and down. She's wearing jean shorts and a halter top, skin dark and gorgeous and exposed in all the right places, beautiful brown braids cascading down her back and shoulders. You can't see her face but you already know she could be a model. She probably is.

No. No, something isn't right.

Maybe it's not him.

Time feels like it's frozen, like everyone in the bar has stopped moving except the two of them, like a giant spotlight is shining directly on where they sit, where they touch, where they smile at each other. Because it is him. It's him in all his gorgeous Joel glory, peering into the eyes of a woman who isn't you, a woman who's probably more his type, closer to his age, a woman who's somehow making him smile like that when she shouldn't. That's how he smiles at you. That's your smile.

A woman who's now leaning in for a kiss.

No. Please no.

A woman who he kisses back.

This isn't happening. This isn't real. This is just some sick and twisted nightmare you're about to wake up from at any second.

His hand comes up to cup her face.

"I'm gonna throw up," is all you manage to gasp out to Tasha as you yank yourself from the booth and sprint out of the bar, hand splaying across your belly as you bend over and release the contents of your stomach all over the sidewalk.

You feel Tasha's hand on your back, pulling your hair behind your ears. She's saying something but you don't understand it, ears continuing to ring despite being outside in the cool air, away from the loud music and chatty conversations, away from them.

"Oh honey," you finally hear her say, soft and kind as she rubs circles into your back, a comforting action that brings no comfort to you, not now, not after what you've just seen. "I'm so sorry."

[hyukalyptus]

heyy could u do smthing like txt reactions to u using the safe word while at it????

omg of course!! i love this idea sm.

cw. use of safe word, all of them stop ofc, sex, rough bdsm stuff is not mentioned, soob is big and clumsy and reader likes pushing limits, gyu uses red/green/yellow system and likes pushing limits, pet names (baby), aftercare, tae's kinda vanilla and feels guilty, kai is kinky asf (but that's not discussed here; go check out lia's duality for that lol), cuddling, kissing.

smut(?) under cut!

yeonjun - omg honestly i think he’d be the absolute sweetest. stops in his tracks, lifts his hands off you, but stays inside you to wait for further instruction. doesn't apologize because you've ask him not to in the past (makes you feel guilty) and he's worked so hard to make sure you feel safe with him and that you're not hesitant using the safe word. he's so proud (but doesn't show it) that you feel safe enough to use the safe word with him. "what did i do? what can i do to make it better?” doesn't touch you until you say its okay. once you've caught your breath and have calmed down, he very cautiously and with your permission picks things back up, finishing you, but he doesn't finish himself. he can get off later.

soobin - he's the one that insisted on creating a safe word in the first place. he knows he can sometimes be just a bit too clumsy and a bit too big that he doesn't know if he's hurting his sex partners or if they're just playing into it. so he learned quickly that he needs to establish a safe word every time, especially since you like pushing the limits. things start getting a little too hot and heavy for your liking and he's getting a little too carried away. it feels so good at first, until he takes it just a bit too far. typically, you're usually comfortable enough to ease him down with body language and talking, but something was off today and you needed it to stop. he comes to a slow stop, relaxing his hands, loosening his grip on you and turning them into soothing strokes and caresses. asking and giving exactly what you need.

beomgyu - first of all, i see him as the type to use the red, yellow, green system. and can definitely see him pushing you into yellow a lot. and he loves it (as do you), but he's cautious. the second you say red, he drops everything. "was that too much for my baby? i'm sorry..." going to get you some water and sitting down to have an in-depth conversation about what was too far. "did you like the idea of it and i just went too far? did you want to try it again but slower? was what i did completely out of the question now? what can i do to make you feel safer next time? do you feel safe right now?" turns into soft and slow aftercare that eventually warms up to slow and sensual sex to make up for it.

taehyun - i think feels the most guilty out of them. he doesn't strike me as the kinda guy to be super into kink stuff, so i think he almost doesnt know how to handle it other than apologizing. asks a lot of questions, like, "are you okay? you sure? do you want me to finish you? i'd be happy to if you like." and you agreeing that you'd still like to come as long as he still wants to and is comfortable to keep going but as soon as he's inside you, "are you sure you're okay if i finish too?" maybe becomes a bit too nervous before both of you agree its better for both of you to stop completely and cuddle the rest of the night.

hueningkai - honestly i feel like kai's kinky asf and i will not be silenced any longer. he talks a lot about it with you beforehand anyway, so its rare that you (or any of his partners) get to that point because he knows all ur limits and how to push them and how to not push them too far. so you saying it is a bit of a shock, but he knows exactly what to do. drops everything, slides out of you, asks what you need from him. and when you request cuddles, he's the biggest cuddle bug ever. cheek kisses, whispers in ur ear about how perfect and beautiful you are. dragging his nails down ur arm. omfg i love him.

[hotpinkstars]

PREGNANCY CONFLICTS - boothill x reader

- boothill "passes" a few days after you announce your pregnancy. he's soon returned to you as a cyborg, and has a rough time with all of the realizations he discovers during your pregnancy.

- thank u guys sm for all the compliments im getting in my inbox about my idea and my writing i love every single one of u guysssss 💋 💋 and now the fic for my idea is finally here! i hope you guys enjoyyyyy

- mentions of insecurity, PREGNANCY, boothill is sad in this shdjfjsks so pretty much hurt no comfort in a very mild way, "M,d,y" means month, day, year, his way of death is not canon i made something up!!! wc 1.5k

Boothill has always talked about being a father. With how optimistic about your guys’ future he was, you could already tell he’d be a great, great father. So when you announced your pregnancy to him, he was ecstatic.

He spun you around in the air, putting you down to kiss you passionately. To him, all of his dreams have come true. As if you’ve given him a strong purpose in life, to not only protect you but to protect his little, and hopefully more to come.

“Thank you,” he mumbled into your shoulder as he held you tightly. “Thank you for giving me such an opportunity.”

But then a few days after you announced it to him, he went missing. You spent day and night trying to contact people, get cops on the case, and go out there with someone yourself and try to find him. The cops brought a necklace, splotched in blood, with your initials on it. Saying they found his body and it was barely recognizable. They knew it was him because of the necklace around his neck and the wedding band that was stuck on a stray tree branch.

As both of those were returned back to you, you felt as if you couldn’t look at them without absolutely breaking down. You were set under the impression that he was gone forever. You felt horrible- not only for yourself, but the life you assumed your baby would have, being born into a world where they only have a mother who's trying her absolute best to provide and make sure their life goes as smoothly as possible.

On the 16th week of your pregnancy was when you heard a knock on the door late at night. Who could it be at this hour? You irritatingly got up and walked over to see who would be there.

It was who you were least expecting.

Boothill.

You stood there, unable to register what was happening. You had a hand on your stomach and the other was gripping the door handle. He stopped and stared at you back before beginning to speak.

“Y/n,” he said, nearly a whisper before he took a step closer to you. You didn’t step back, which was a good thing in his eyes.

“Boothill? What- how- huh?” You were absolutely speechless, unable to register the man standing in front of you. He’s dressed a lot differently then how you last saw him- he looked so western. He was western before he was pronounced dead, the accent is what got you in the first place. He’d always go to bars and all of that.

But he never looked so… out of place.

You’ve never seen the boots he had on before. You’ve never seen those pants (why do they look so slutty?) and his shirt was a whole other thing.

But the thing that intrigued you the most was that he was still standing, alive in front of you, but with a fully metal body.

“Come in and explain yourself,” you sighed, turning around and leading him into the all-too-familiar place. It still smelled the same way it used to, flowers and vanilla. He sat down on the white couch, leaning back into the same fabric he knew all that time ago.

But the difference was, he couldn’t feel it.

“How are you here? There's no way you’re real,” you shake your head, standing up and leaning into his face. You grab his chin lightly, turning his head both way before running your hands through his still silky hair. “Answer my questions.”

“Alright, shoot em.”

“When did you get me pregnant?” You ask, still looking into his now different eyes.

“Four months ago. You should be 16 weeks now.”

You nodded. “When's my birthday…?”

“M,d,y.”

You nodded. He was on it, and it’s convincing you even more that he was your Boothill.

“Lastly, why are you metal?”

“My body was destroyed. Y’ probably remember it,” he looked down at his hands before bringing them up to your cheek. You slightly flinched from the chill before nodding for him to continue his story. “I don’t remember th’ exact details, but jus’ say it was a failed mission.”

You looked at him up and down before sitting beside him.

“D’you still… love me?” He mumbled, almost soft enough that you’d miss it if you weren’t paying attention.

You took a moment of silence before responding to his question. “Of course I do. You’re my husband, Boothill.”

To that he smiled and brought you into a strong kiss. One passionate and greedy- he’s been starved of you as you have of him for the past four months. Once he broke it off, you both connected your foreheads before going back into a full blown make out session.

Your pregnancy is incredibly taxing for the cyborg to handle. Instead of flesh and blood he has metal. He can’t feel you, and to him, it’s the worst feeling in the world. He truly wishes he could turn back time to right before the night of the accident.

He wishes he was able to return home safe, so he could be there for your whole pregnancy. He basically missed the entire first trimester!

At this point, you marked 32 weeks. Your pregnancy was very noticeable and Boothill took a lot of pride in being alongside you, shedding his insecurities as soon as he left the house.

He’s always been a very clingy man. He’s always wanted your touch and attention whenever he’d get home from whatever it was he’d do for work during the day, and he’d always receive it.

But now, he needs to use his head to feel you. He’s always found lying down on your stomach in his free time, so he can feel his child. He is unable to feel kicks with any other parts of his body, so he relies on that.

“‘Hill, I need to go to the bathroom. You might need to move in a second here-” you started, but he looked up at you and began to speak over you.

“Alright, alright… but’cha better come right back, please?”

You nodded before shuffling out of the bed, motioning for him to get up and help you off of the mattress and up on your feet. Once he easily pulls you up, he flops back down as he watches you close the door connected to your room.

He thought hard in those two minutes you were gone. Very hard. To the point he thought he was going to have a breakdown.

He regretted everything. He regretted engaging in the enemy's tricks. He regretted leaving you lonely for so long. And what he regrets most is returning to you like this.

A hunk of metal, who can be destroyed as many times as possible. He’ll always be able to have his body replaced. His head and hair were the only human thing about the man.

He believes you deserve so, so much better. You deserve a man who can live his life to the fullest and actually be able to be there for you during your vulnerable times, and not let grief get in the way. You deserve someone capable of giving you more children in the future, and he believes your baby deserves a dad who can be there for him and be normal.

He might even be worried about judgment. He’s not sure. He feels so emotional yet so dull at the same time.

“Boothill? Is everything alright? You’ve been staring at the same spot on the wall for the past minute,” you said from next to him. How did he not even realize your presence?

“Hah? Yea, I’m fine. How’re ya’ feeling?” He says in his usual tone, trying to swiftly play off his thoughts not even ten seconds ago. “How’s baby doin’ in there?”

You let out a soft giggle before placing your hand on his cold knee. “We’re well. I’m concerned about what just happened with you though. Tell me, what is on your mind?”

The man sighs and shakes his head before resting it back on your belly. “Nothin’ to worry your pretty head off about.” He simply left it at that and nothing more.

When it came time for labor, he was truly nervous. Every attempt he made at trying to make physical contact with you in that time failed, because his hands were either too hard or too cold. He backed off and watched from the sidelines as you brought his little baby girl into the world.

He so desperately wanted to hold her, and you could see the urge in his eyes. She looked so much like him. She had his gorgeous silky black and white hair with your eyes. He thought she was an angel brought from heaven.

Once he finally got to hold her, he was told to keep her swaddled in the blanket she was wrapped in. All was well until she started crying due to the cold of his arms, and the baby was taken off into tests before he could even blink.