#when I heard people complaining about how this movie was anti-man I snatched my ticket and said yeah I sure hope it does like everyone else

[theridgebeyond]

Spoilers for Barbie ahead, I guess. But who in the writer’s room looked at that plot line and thought, “Yes. Feminism.” ??

The citizens of Barbie Land spend the entire movie fighting for privilege, not any sort of freedom (I borrowed that quote from the interview with Alok on the Man Enough Podcast 10/10 recommend). Over half the movie is about how awful it is to be a woman in the real world, and then they literally treat the Kens the way women are treated in the real world. That’s canon. The narrator says it Herself.

We never learn where the Kens live. For all we know, when the precious status quo was restored at the end, they just made half the population of Barbie Land homeless.

Yay, girl power.

[jaybirdsthings]

Strange Magic Secret Valentine

For @dainesanddaffodils

Prompt: Anti- Valentine’s Day (Modern AU)

Warnings: Some swearing by Marianne and Bog

Note: Happy Valentine's Day! I wrote a human au anti Valentine's day fic with Marianne and Bog being the salty anti-lofe people we all know and love. I hope I got them in character. It's been a while since I've written in this fandom. 😁. Anyway I hope you enjoy! ♥

Ps. :I posted this on my phone so sorry if it looks weird

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“Come on, Marianne! You can’t spend Valentine’s day watching a horror movie!”

Marianne scowled as she watched Dawn roll her eyes in disgust.

“What? You know I don’t like Valentine’s Day!” Marianne made sure to avoid looking at her night table, the photo of her and Roland ripped into shreds months ago.

“Besides everyone else will be watching a romantic chic flick today! It’s the perfect time to go watch a horror movie!”

She smirked as she saw her sister give up, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

“Ugh, you have no sense of romance! If you need me, I’m going to be getting ready for my hot date tonight.”

“Say hi to sunny for me!” She teased, watching as Dawn blushed and stormed out the room in a huff.

The minute the door closed behind her sister, Marianne dropped her smirk and flopped back onto her bed. Staring at the ceiling, she couldn’t help but remember last year’s Valentine’s Day. She had been so excited, preparing for her date with Roland in one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Marianne had spent weeks trying to find the perfect dress, finally deciding on a cute white sundress with purple-tinged hems. She had even gotten Dawn to help her with her hair and makeup, determined to show Roland how sexy and elegant she could be.

‘I was such a little fool.’ Marianne couldn’t help but think, remembering how she had gotten to the restaurant way too early, wanting to make sure Roland wouldn’t be stuck waiting for her by mistake. Just as she had been walking towards the entrance, her attention had been caught by a flash of blonde hair speeding by on a motorcycle.

Biting her lip at the pain the memory still caused her, Marianne buried her face into her pillows.

She had just begun to call out to him as Roland parked his motorcycle when a cute looking girl had run up and thrown her arms around his waist. Her heart had shattered into pieces when she saw him pull that girl close and start to make out with her. He had never kissed Marianne with that kind of passion; instead, offering her chaste pecks and soft caresses. He had always said he didn’t want to push for more than she was ready to give.

‘What a fucking liar. All that time saying he was respecting my decisions when really he had been cheating on me on the side.’

Marianne remembered running away, chocking on her sobs as her heart tried to make sense of what had just happened. She had turned off her phone and wandered the town for hours, not replying to any of Rolands, her sister’s or even her dad’s phone calls. It had been nearly midnight when she had gotten back home, completely drained and not saying a single word to her family’s frantic questions.

‘I should have punched the bastard out that day. I should have made a big scene and have everyone know what a fucking two-timing scumbag he really is.’

Growling into her bed, Marianne pulled herself together and marched her way to her closet. If she was gonna survive this wretched day, then she would have to go out in style.

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Reaching the theatre, Marianne couldn’t help but smirk as she saw some of the couples nearby give her a startled look. Wearing her favourite combat boots, her comfiest ripped jeans with a studded belt, a skull shirt with her fingerless gloves and her leather jacket, Marianne knew she looked intimidating. Pulling off her sunglasses, Marianne gave a little sneer at the flirty look one of the nearby guys had thrown at her.

‘That asshole is with his girlfriend too! Ugh, men are faithless pigs.’

Making her way to the ticket booth, Marianne leaned heavily on the counter as she asked for a ticket for the new horror movie “The Cabin in the Woods”.

“Hey princess! Didn’t yer mom ever teach ye not to cut in line?”

Gnashing her teeth at the remark, Marianne turned to look at the idiot who clearly didn’t realize she had been there first.

Electric blue eyes glared at her from a tall, gangly looking man. He had a five-o’clock shadow with gelled back hair that spiked at the end.

‘His hair looks like freaking pinecone!’ She mused, before noticing that he was wearing leather pants that looked like they had been painted on him and wearing a muscle shirt that showed off his tattooed shoulders.

“What did you call me?”

His lips curled into a snarl, making his long face look intimidating and revealing slightly pointy teeth,

‘What a weirdo, did he actually file his teeth to be pointy?’

“Ye heard me ya line-cutting wench, some of us have actually been waiting a while to get a ticket, so if ye don’t mind why don’t you head to the back of the line like a decent person!”

Barring her teeth in anger, she snatched the ticket from the attendant. Throwing the correct amount onto the counter, she growled at the asshole who was determined to make this miserable day worse for her.

“No. No one was in a line before I got to the booth, therefore, I didn’t cut anyone since there was no fucking line, to begin with. So fuck off you lanky twig.”

Giving him the finger, she stomped her way to room five, muttering under her breath about self-entitled assholes who seemed to exist solely to test her patience.

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Picking a spot in the back row, Marianne relaxed as she realized she was the only person in the room.

‘Thank God! No stupid lovey-dovey couples or annoying lanky men with too wide shoulders and fucking sinful legs to distract her from her movie.’

Making herself comfortable in her chair, Marianne smiled as the lights dimmed and the movie started.

It was not even thirty minutes into the movie when the sound of a rough laugh broke Marianne’s concentration. Searching for where the noise had come from, she quickly realized there was another person in the theatre with her. Peering down into the front row, she noticed that it was that lanky asshole from earlier, chuckling at the expressions of the stoner character, as he became more puzzled at his friend’s weird behaviour.

Annoyed at having to share the theatre with him, Marianne took a deep breath before trying to refocus on the movie. Munching on some popcorn to get back into the mood, her attention was broken once more at the sound of another loud laugh from the front row.

“Hey, pinecone! Do you mind keeping it down? I would like to enjoy the movie without having to hear your loud as fuck laughter, thank you very much!”

Glaring as he turned around to look at her, Marianne was struck by how blue his eyes were.

‘They practically glow in the dark! What is this guy, part cat?’

“Well, if it isn’t the rude princess. Tell me are ye always so pleasant to watch movies with or am Ah just lucky?”

Hissing lowly at his stupid remarks, Marianne felt her temper flare as he continued to taunt her.

“Shouldn’t ye be snuggling with yer boyfriend and watching some sappy, rubbish, romantic movie? Or are ye too much of a princess to share a movie with another person?”

Stomping her way closer to his row, she threw some of her popcorn at his head as she snarled back at him.

“What about you? Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend and cheating on her with some bit on the side instead of trying to ruin my movie night!”

“Cheating?! Listen up ye wench, Ah don’t cheat on mae lovers! And even if Ah did, who the fuck are ye to judge me on what Ah do? Ah bet yer the kind of princess that strings men along till they run out of money to give ye gifts or ye find someone better!”

Feeling completely insulted, Marianne forced herself to stand firm as he made his way closer to her. Not willing to show how much his glower unnerved her.

“As if I would ever do anything like that! Men are nothing but two-timing pigs, who only think of sex and their own gratification! I don’t need toxic shit like that in my life!”

Marianne jutted out her jaw as she looked him square in the eyes. For a moment she thought he had looked hurt at her words before he threw his own popcorn at her head.

“There ye go again, running yer mouth, like some kind of tough girl. Acting like women are all pure and innocent in relationships. Well, Ah’ll have ye know that women are nothing but a pain. Complaining and nitpicking over every little thing, changing ye till yer someone completely different cause they can’t handle ye as ye are.”

Closing her eyes, Marianne remembered all the times Roland had implied she should wear dresses more instead of jeans, that she looked better with some makeup on and that she should really comb her hair when they go out. Every time she had tried to explain that she was more comfortable with those things he would twist her words around till she had felt ashamed of not being more like the girl he wanted.

‘Don’t you want to show the world how pretty you can be Marianne?’

‘I just want to brag about my beautiful baby doll to my friends!’

‘Why can’t you dress like the rich little lady you are? No need to dress down for the common folk love. You’re above all that.’

“Ugh! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! You're wrong! It’s men who want to change you! Mocking and persuading you to dress like their ideal girlfriend and then breaking your heart by having other girls on the side!”

Feeling herself start to spiral into a panic, Marianne tried to control her heavy breathing and focus on the asshole in front of her.

“Well, how would ye know anything about that?! Ye probably have ne’er even had any boyfriends before!”

Forgetting completely about the movie, Marianne snapped at his words.

“YES I HAVE! YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I KNOW ALL THIS, YOU STUPID PINECONE?!”

Pushing herself into his face, she started jabbing his chest in anger.

BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME AFTER GUILT TRIPPING ME FOR A YEAR ON WHAT I WAS WEARING, WHAT I WAS EATING AND EVERYTHING ELSE HE COULD THINK OF, TO MAKE ME INTO HIS PERFECT, LITTLE, IDIOTIC, TROPHY!”

Throwing her hands against his chest, Marianne tried to push the lanky asshole away from her. He caught her hands with his rough ones, as he backed away from her and gave her a regretful face.

“Hey, you two! What’s with all the yelling? Do you have any idea how many complaints we’ve gotten in the last few minutes cause of the noise coming from here?!”

Marianne turned to look at the annoyed manager of the theatre glowering at her and the pinecone from the door.

“If you’re going to make such a ruckus then GET OUT!”

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Staring at the slammed doors of the theatre, Marianne sighed in annoyance of her plans being spoiled.

‘Great. I guess I should just go home and pray Dawn doesn’t find out I got kicked out cause I was being too loud with some guy.’

As she turned to make her way down the road, Marianne heard the pinecone haired guy call out to her.

“Hey, tough girl…”

Turning to look over her shoulder, Marianne gave him her best ‘absoluetly done with this world’ face.

“What?”

“Sorry...fer, ye know, saying shit about stuff Ah didn’t know about.”

Staring into his embarrassed looking eyes, Marianne felt herself softened a little when she realized he was being serious and not mocking her.

“...It’s okay. I shouldn’t have projected my problems with my ex on you. It’s not like you cheated on me and broke my heart.”

She had blown up spectacularly on him, guess she had been suppressing a lot of deep-seated issues with her break up with the blonde-ass of the year.

“...Fer what it’s worth, Ah think he’s a downright fool to have tried to change ye.”

Peeking at him again over her shoulder, Marianne was startled to see him looking away with a blush covering his face.

“...I thought you hated my guts.”

“Nah, Yer a pretty fiesty, tough lassie...And Ah was being a wee bit too loud in the theatre. Ah didn’t mean to unload mae issues on ye like that.”

Curious at what his story was, Marianne slowly made her way closer to him. She made sure she was at least arm's length away before getting the courage to ask him a question.

“Can I ask...what happened to you? With your ex?”

Watching him rub his neck awkwardly, Marianne noticed he actually looked attractive from this angle.

“Ah used to date the prettiest girl in mae hometown. Ah was so surprised she had picked me to be her boyfriend that Ah did everything possible to make her happy.”

Nodding slowly, Marianne started to get a good idea at how this story was going to end.

“She had pretty high standards when we went out together. She insisted Ah wear clothes that made me look more acceptable for the places we would go to. One day, Ah looked into the mirror and realized that in trying to please her, Ah I had become someone Ah didn’t like.”

Marianne could relate to that. Roland had slowly twisted her up inside till she was wearing dresses all the time and getting her hair and makeup styled the way he liked it.

“Ah went to go talk to her about all this, when Ah overheard her talking with one of her friends. She was laughing as she told her that Ah wasn’t her real boyfriend since she would never date someone as ugly as me. Ah was just a pet project she wanted to play with till she got bored.”

Seeing his eyes go heartbreakingly sad, Marianne felt herself hold her breath as his face softened into something more vulnerable.

“Ye see... Ah’m too ugly to have a real girlfriend.”

Feeling upset on his behalf, Marianne drew closer and slowly reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder.

“But you’re not ugly.In fact, I’d say you’re pretty distinguished looking.”

Seeing his eyes grow warm at her words, Marianne felt a traitorous blush slowly make her way up her neck and across her cheeks. Coughing loudly in embarrassment, she spotted a decent cafe nearby.

“Hey, you want to go get some coffee? My treat.”

He smiled softly at her words, before walking beside her to the cafe.

“Sure. Ah could go for some decent coffee.”

Feeling slightly awkward as she realized she didn’t know his name, she looked away as she thrust her hand towards him.

“So...my name’s Marianne. Marianne Fae.” Peeking at him from under her bangs, she felt her heart skip a beat at the fond look on his face. His hands were warm and rough as he shook her hand once before giving a light peck on the back of her hand.

“Mae name is Bog. Bog King. Nice to meet ye, Marianne.”

“Likewise.”

As they made their way into the cafe, Marianne couldn’t help but think that maybe this year's Valentine’s Day wouldn’t end in a disaster after all.