#when He says he who is without sin throws the first stone so you don’t throw stones but you throw all your money into the bank accounts of

[humanityinahandbag]

Steddie: Sticker Fic (Part 1)

“Hey, Munson?” Eddie turned and Steve was there, in his space, leaning forward until Eddie was pressed back into the kitchen island. He could smell Steve’s cologne, could see the moles and freckles across his face, could taste the air around him, like honey and butter and frosting. And then Steve reached out and pressed his fingers to Eddie’s chest, drawing back just as quickly, leaving Eddie’s skin warm and tingling. He’d also left something else on Eddie’s shirt. He barely registered what had happened until he was sitting back down, and Dustin's eyes were on him along with the rest of the kids. "No fair!" Dustin pointed, scowling at Eddie's shirt. "How come you got that one!" "Uh," said Eddie and looked down. I Did an Amooooozing Job Today! said a cow in a cowboy hat.

Eddie Munson was doing his best to push down his absolutely tragic crush on Steve Harrington. He'd been doing a pretty good job of it, too.

And then Steve brought out the goddamn stickers.

(or: Steve flirts using stickers. The kids go feral for them. Puns are everywhere and they are terrible. And Eddie is losing his goddamned mind.)

-

The first sticker appeared on a Tuesday.

Hellfire Club had been tentatively invited back into the school as a sort of withering olive branch, most of the school officials and adults shamefaced about the whole almost killing a kid in a jock-led Satanic Panic Mob thing. They’d put on their best faces and tried to appeal to Eddie’s mercy (even Principal Higgins had swallowed down his repulsion to say mistakes were made). 

But in the end it hadn't made much of a difference, and Eddie Munson got to watch each and every one of their faces fall deeper into sticky guilt when he said “no thank you”. 

It wasn't easy. Hellfire had been held in the back of the theater room since he'd started the club. Through bullies, black eyes, and the burning stares of teachers, that room had given Hawkins High at least one space he could be himself without apology. Without danger of being called a fag. Of being too slow to dodge a punch.

It was him, his friends, the stories they crafted.

And giving it up was like leaving a piece of himself behind.

But the fumbled apologies from adults (who should have known better, who'd never liked him, who'd been completely okay throwing words and stones and demanding his head, who suddenly looked to him to absolve their sins) made him feel skeevy. The guilt was warranted, but as his Uncle firmly told him it wasn’t his job to make a bunch of no-good-kid-hunting adults feel better.

"You ain't their priest, son. If they can hunt my boy so easily, then they shouldn't have any problems hunting down someone to listen to their goddamn confession, too."

Eddie had the scars along his body, a chunk of flesh eaten from his thigh, and a missing left nipple to show for their mistake . He had nightmares and flashbacks and nights where he woke up in a cold sweat expecting to see a mob outside his window shouting vile, obscene words to cut him deep or vines crawling across his ceiling to cut him even deeper. 

So he’d said no, even if it meant he might have needed to give up one of his most sacred spaces in the world. 

And then Steve Harrington (with his perfect smile and whiskey eyes and warm touch) had stepped in and said, “why don’t you just have Hellfire at my house?” and that was that. 

Steve Harrington's house provided safety, a giant ass dining room table, from-scratch cookies and cakes that Steve insisted on baking each and every time they met. 

It also provided Steve, who was wonderful and sweet and kind and-

And.

And.

And whatever the reason (that Eddie was definitely not avoiding, not at all), it was enough for Eddie to wind up at the head of Steve's dining room table, leering at the small group from behind his screen.

It was snickerdoodle that day; Jeff's favorite. Eddie had already put back two and was happily considering a third. The rest of Hellfire looked like they were regretting eating any as Eddie hunched forward in the ridiculous oak dining chair. Dustin was green in the face, staring down at his miniature like he might as well have dug a tiny grave right then and there.

"You arrive at a door." Eddie steepled his fingers, resting his chin against the points. "Ancient symbols are carved throughout. Runes from another time, another place." 

"Shit," Gareth murmured. "God, not another fucking door."

"Your only other escape is through the tunnels where you came, but you can already hear the Orc armies clashing their way through. What do you do, oh mighty heroes?"

"We're fucked." Dustin threw up his hands, pressing the heels against his eyes. "Oh Jesus we're so fucked."

"We're not fucked!" Lucas said, even if his face said otherwise. "We need- shit, we need a strategy! Will-?"

"I'm barely hanging on!" Will stared down at his character sheet, scribbling notes down furiously. "We could do an observation check-"

Dustin groaned. "We don't have time for that!" 

"Well then what are we supposed to do, Genius," Erica snapped. "Sit here and die?"

The table erupted into an argument, insults and strategies twisting together through the fray, Eddie watching it all delighted. 

From the corner of his eye he could see Steve leaving the kitchen with a fresh plate of what looked like carrot sticks. He walked carefully and silently through, mostly ignored by the still bickering group as he began to collect the empty cookie plates and gather napkins, stepping from spot to spot to curiously look over shoulders. 

"Enjoying the peace and quiet, Harrington?"

Steve snorted, dropping the plate of carrots by Eddie's elbow. "Oh yeah. Getting in a quick meditation." 

Eddie laughed, glancing back down at his notes to hide the blush already crawling up his collar, scribbling out a quick direction on the paper.

And then-

“What the hell is that?”

-the table fell silent. 

There could have been a million reasons for those words to be said by any one of the Hellfire Club, and so Eddie wasn't much phased by the squawk from the other side of the table beyond the sea of miniatures and D20s. It was only when the other kids began to grumble that he looked up from behind his screen. 

What he found was a scene that didn’t fully belong at the table of dark cloth and menacing figurines and leather clad nerds who were all now staring at Mike Wheeler holding up his character sheet, staring at Steve who had been coming over to grab empty plates from the middle of the miniature battle. 

The character sheet, which was now adorned with a circle just bigger than a quarter. 

Eddie squinted. The circle was a bright, neon green with a star in the middle. And the star was wearing- Huh. He squinted again, and, yup. The star was wearing sunglasses. 

Steve turned back, empty stack of plates in one hand. “It’s a sticker.” 

“No shit, Steve,” said Mike. “What’s it doing here though.” 

Steve shrugged. “I thought your little dude was cool. So.” He reached into his pocket with his free hand and held up a roll of stickers. Eddie could see more sunglass wearing stars scattered in between a small galaxy of suns giving them the thumbs up and a moon with a backwards hat.

"We're not babies, Steve."

Steve rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to be a dick about it. Just say thank you.” 

“Whatever,” said Mike, which was as close to thanks as he ever got. “I’m throwing it away.”

“Do what you want,” said Steve. He rolled his eyes and looked down at Eddie. “So ungrateful,” he said, as if Eddie was meant to commiserate somehow with a freshman. 

Then again, Eddie was always happy to play along. “Oh yeah. Kid doesn’t know how good he’s got it. Crowning achievement, that prize.”

“You jealous, Munson?” 

Eddie snorted. “Sure, Harrignton. Whatever you want to tell yourself. Now stop distracting my sheepies. We’ve got stuff to- to…”

He trailed off when Steve leaned closer. His cologne was woodsy and dark and from the angle where he leaned, Eddie could see chest hair poking from the open neck of his polo shirt. He reached out and pressed his fingers against Eddie’s shoulder. His touch was firm and sure and Eddie wanted to sink against it. “Well,” he said, “I’d hate to be a distraction.” And then he leaned back like nothing had happened, getting the kids’ attention with a sharp whistle and a call for pizza orders. 

When Eddie looked down, there was a sticker on his shoulder. 

Eyes on the Prize said a festive looking potato. 

Eddie did his best to scoff, swallowing back the thrumming in his chest. 

.

.

.

Though if he put the stupid thing inside his binder afterwards. Well. That was no one else's business but his own. 

-

Want to read the rest of this fic? This is only a part of chapter 1! The rest of it (as well as the next three chapters) can be found on AO3!

If you want to watch Steve Harrington woo Eddie Munson with stickers, then this might be the right story for you.

Warning: (Slaps story) This baby can hold so many bad puns.

[theforgottenmcrmy]

live reactions to house of the dragon season 2, episode 3

this is still for my own amusement, but as always, I’m open to polite discussion🖤

spoilers below the cut

Still loving this new intro, is it just me, or is it changing with each episode? it’s definitely changing, right?

Ooooooo we’re getting right into the Bracken and Blackwoods, let’s freaking go! 👏🏻

Lmao, everyone calling Rhaenyra a kinslayer, conveniently forgetting Aemond threw the first stone with Luke

Blackwoods standing on business, as usual 💅

Wait that transition was💀 We’re not even into the thick of the war yet, and look at the cost…

Rhaenyra “I cannot fault him for keeping his oath” you’re too good for this world ma’am

Rhaenys spitting stone cold facts. And so poetically too.

This might be a hot take, but I don’t feel like Rhaenys suggesting Rhaenyra make another attempt at peace with Alicent would be a weak move. She’s right on the money with suggesting they’re both largely backed into their respective corners by the men who surround them. One last attempt at peace, woman to woman, is not a sign of weakness (in my opinion at least).

Crispy Cole having imposter syndrome already?!💀👀

this man has the balls to abandon his duty to canoodle with the dowager queen, but can’t take the position of Hand in stride with a bit more confidence?

Lmao, Aegon’s own council doubting him and Cole already😂😂😂

Daeron mentioned again, I want to see the Blue Queen let’s go 🤞🏻

Aemond holding onto that same coin, interesting…

Cole really having a chuckle at Ser Arryk’s death as though he did not single handedly sentence him to that death. And a few people are still disputing that this guy has to be one of the worst ever in Westeros?

I’m pretty sure Aemond’s trying to bait Aegon here, plant some doubt in his head about his suitability to actual fighting in the war🤔

Mysaria, the voice of the small folk

Does this mean Laenor’s dead? And it was recent? I can’t help but think Seasmoke at least would have tried to follow him years ago when he left… and if he’s just recently become restless, what changed?

I understand why Rhaenyra is asking what she is of Rhaena, and I don’t think she’s doing it to hurt Rhaena at all. But Rhaena, that poor girl🥲 she needs to have her moment, even if it’ll take a few episodes or longer. Not to prove her worth to others, but to herself.

Also, definitely getting Daemon vibes from her, in terms of wanting to prove herself

HARRENHAL, here we go! 👻

I know this is supposed to be serious and hall because Harrenhal is haunted, but Daemon sneaking around Scooby Doo style waiting for something to come at him is so unintentionally funny to me

Speaking of Scooby Doo, not the bat flyby😂

Also, Daemon’s armor is sickkk.

Wonder if Daemon ever thought, “This is where Rhaenyra’s last serious lover died. So wtf am I doing here?!👀”😂😂😂

Daemon “knock out guard first, ask questions later” Targaryen

“I’m claiming Harrenhal.” (Tywin Lannister voice): “Any man who has to say he claims a castle did not truly claim the castle at all”

It was so anticlimactic too😂 you will not convince me that the writers don’t know what they’re doing, rightfully throwing in these sort of bits to diffuse the tension

Alys Rivers, that you?!?!?!👀

Simon Strong disowning Larys😂 we love to see it.

Sin begets sin begets sin. This line has no right to go so hard-

“The throne?”

“It’s a big chair, made of swords.”

Music this season is (not surprisingly) serving as always

Do you think Ser Gwayne has his suspicions about Criston and Alicent yet?🤔

This man is so bold, I stg- if you’re that bold, Ser Crispy, why don’t you show Aemond what you just received from his mother? Or better yet, Aegon?

It’s kind of ironic, how Cole has probably deluded himself to thinking he finally has this great courtly and noble love with the widowed queen- all without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Rhaenyra needs to set these men straight. I cannot believe how quick they are to suggest she go into hiding. She’s already made plans to send her most vulnerable children away to safety. You cannot convince me that, were she a man, her councilors would not even dare to make this suggestion to her.

Rhaenys steadfast support of Rhaenyra is going to make the inevitable hurt that just more.

Rhaenys suggesting Rhaena become the heir to Driftmark?👀 I like the idea tbh

This is the last time we see them have a one on one conversation, isn’t it?🫥

Chillllllllllls with the dragon eggs. Morning is coming.

Joffrey😓 and Viserys and Aegon.

Helaena trying to rationalize her son’s death.😭 And still acknowledging the small folk…

Also, poor Helaena forgiving her mother🥲 she’s a better woman than me, because I could never.

Larys, the pot stirrer. I swear this man’s only motivation in life is chaos.

But I do have to wonder, is his allegiance really to Aegon, or is it some backwards attempt to keep Aegon safe to garner Alicent’s favor still?

Her name is escaping me rn, but not the poor girl who Aegon assaulted STILL being assaulted by men at her new job😭

I get the desire to make the connection with the audience that Ulf has to Targaryens, but of alll the people the writers could have chosen from, choosing Viserys and Daemon’s father doesn’t sit well with me. Not saying it is impossible, but from what we know of Baelon and Alyssa’s relationship, it just doesn’t seem super likely he’d have a lot of bastards running around out there.

Ulf, already showing his turncoat ways🫢

Oh Lordy, that’s a bit graphic

Aegon, still being a terrible bully to his younger brother. Great to see how little his truly changed over the years.

Oh Lordy, the Aemond girlies are going to go absolutely feral after this scene———

Daemon might have been the one to call him Ser Crispin, but his daughter is about to make the name become a reality 😂👏🏻

Just the foreshadowing of Rook’s Rest is already too much for me personally🥲

Here we go, more mystery solving antics from detective Daemon…

🫨🫨🫨

Now if that man didn’t truly love Rhaenyra in his own way (or at least have some guilt over what he had done) why the hell would he have had that reaction to that vision?

The Sept?👀

SEPTA RHAENYRA👏🏻

The new Kingsguard members might not have even recognized Rhaenyra if they had seen her

Alicent swearing on the memory of her mother, just like Rhaenyra had years before🫢

Literally seeing a lightbulb moment go off in Rhaenyra’s head-

Ooooooooooo god, Alicent realizing all this started because of a misunderstanding and her hearing what she wanted to hear👀

And of course, she has to double down. It’s already gone too far.

I do have to pity Alicent a little here. Just like Cersei, she has to admit that she knows her son has become a monster she cannot control.

Alicent can think she is taking the upper hand now, but the next time she sees Rhaenyra, it’s likely to be another story😏

Chillllllllls for next week’s preview

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

18th March >> Fr. Martin's Reflections / Homilies for Today's Mass Readings (Inc. John 8:1-11) for Monday, Fifth Week of Lent: ‘Neither do I condemn you’.

Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

Gospel (Except USA) John 8:1-11 'Let the one among you who has not sinned be the first to throw a stone'.

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At daybreak he appeared in the Temple again; and as all the people came to him, he sat down and began to teach them.

The scribes and Pharisees brought a woman along who had been caught committing adultery; and making her stand there in full view of everybody, they said to Jesus, ‘Master, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery, and Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this to death by stoning. What have you to say?’ They asked him this as a test, looking for something to use against him. But Jesus bent down and started writing on the ground with his finger. As they persisted with their question, he looked up and said, ‘If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Then he bent down and wrote on the ground again. When they heard this they went away one by one, beginning with the eldest, until Jesus was left alone with the woman, who remained standing there. He looked up and said, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, sir’ she replied. ‘Neither do I condemn you,’ said Jesus ‘go away, and do not sin any more.’

Gospel (USA) John 8:1-11 Let the person without sin be the first to throw a stone.

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle. They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, “No one, sir.” Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”

Reflections (9)

(i) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The gospels often show the religious leaders putting Jesus to the test with some trick question, hoping to catch him out and humiliate him. We have an example of this in today’s gospel reading. However, on this occasion the question involves the humiliation of a woman. They drag her before Jesus and ask him whether the letter of the Jewish Law should be followed through in her regard, which would have involved death by stoning. If Jesus had said ‘no’ to the question, he could be accused of being a law breaker. If he said ‘yes’ his reputation as a merciful friend of sinners would have been fatally damaged. The religious leaders were using the woman as bait to catch Jesus out. It was Jesus they had in their sights not the woman. The woman was just being used by them to trap Jesus. In so doing, they were showing profound disrespect for her. In contrast, Jesus treated her with the utmost respect. He reminded the religious leaders that if she had sinned, they too had sinned and were sinning by bringing her to him in this way. He went on to assure the woman that he was not condemning her. God was not condemning her. He then called her to live in a way that was more in keeping with her dignity as a daughter of Abraham and the beloved daughter of God, ‘Go away, and don’t sin any more’. As this gospel of John had already declared, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. God sent his Son that we may life and have it to the full. Our calling is to make present, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the non-judgemental, life-giving presence of the Lord’s love. The Lord has the utmost respect for each one of us, regardless of our past failings, and we are called to relate to one another in the same way.

And/Or

(ii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

In the gospel reading the Pharisees who brought an adulterous woman to Jesus were suggesting a simple answer to her moral failure. Condemn her to death by stoning. The gospel reading also makes clear that this was not Jesus’ way of dealing with moral failure. He understood that the situation was far more complex that the Pharisee’s crude and simplistic solution allowed for. The men who brought the woman to Jesus saw her only in terms of her immediate past. Jesus’ way of looking at her was far more generous; he saw the whole picture of her life, not just one little bit of it. Seeing the whole picture of her life, he also saw that she had a future, a future that those who brought her to Jesus would have denied her. When the Lord looks at us he sees the whole picture too; he does not become obsessed with one or two details of the picture. He hears the full story of our lives, not just a couple of lines of our story. The Lord knows that our story is unfinished, and will only be complete when he himself comes to transfigure our lowly bodies into copies of his glorious body.

And/Or

(iii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The religious leaders who brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught committing adultery seem to have had a very black and white view of things. As far as they were concerned, they were good and she was bad. Furthermore, the bad needed to be eliminated to protect the good - they reminded Jesus that death by stoning was what the Jewish Law prescribed. Jesus was reluctant to engage these men in conversation at all, but when he did speak, his brief comment cut through their primitive analysis, and showed it up in all its inadequacy, ‘let him who is without sin cast the first stone’. Jesus was reminding them that the sin which they so despised in the woman was alive and well in themselves. When they pointed one finger at her, three fingers were pointing back at themselves. They could not look at her without looking at themselves, and if they looked honestly at themselves their attitude to the woman would have to change. Jesus did not deny that the woman had sinned, but he strongly denied that her sin made her any different from anyone else, including those who were so sure of their own virtue. The gospel reading reminds us that we all come before the Lord as sinners, but it assures us that when we bring our sin to the Lord we will not hear a word of condemnation. Instead we will hear a word of forgiveness and an invitation to something better: ‘I do not condemn you; go away and don’t sin any more’.

And/Or

(iv) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

It is clear from this morning’s gospel reading that the religious leaders are very much in the business of condemning. They bring a woman to Jesus expecting him to condemn her, because, as they say, ‘Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this’. Earlier in his gospel, the fourth evangelist had placed a very striking saying on the lips of Jesus, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. Jesus did not come to condemn the world but so that it might have life and have it to the full. When Jesus asked the woman the question, ‘Has no one condemned you?’ he immediately declared, ‘Neither do I condemn you’. He gently reminded those who were quick to condemn her that they too were sinners. We all have something to repent of. To all of us Jesus says what he says to the woman, ‘go away and don’t sin any more’. The Lord does not condemn us but, in his love for us, he calls us beyond where we are; he continually invites us into a greater light and a fuller life.

And/Or

(v) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery is one of those gospel stories that we find ourselves drawn to. The portrayal of Jesus in the story is one that we that stays with us. We are struck by the contrast between the way the scribes and the Pharisees relate to the woman and the way that Jesus relates to her. The religious leaders have condemned her of a serious breach of the Jewish Law, one that is worthy of the prescribed punishment, death by stoning. Jesus, however, refuses to condemn her; ‘I do not condemn you’. As the evangelist, John, says a little earlier in his gospel, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. Rather than condemning her, Jesus pardons her and calls her to a way of life more in keeping with God’s purpose for her life. We may not have sinned in the way the woman sinned, but we are all sinners. We all come before the Lord as people who have not lived in accordance with God’s will and purpose for our lives. The reading assures us that when we come before the Lord in our sinfulness, we will not hear a word of condemnation, but a word of forgiveness. ‘I do not condemn you’, and also an invitation, ‘Do not sin anymore’. Condemnation comes easily to human nature. Thankfully, it is not in the nature of Jesus or of the God whom he reveals.

And/Or

(vi) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The men who brought the woman to Jesus saw her only in terms of her immediate past, while being blind to their own past. Jesus’ way of looking at her was very different; he saw the whole picture of her life, not just one little bit of it. Seeing the whole picture of her life, he also saw that she had a future as well as a past, a future that those who brought her to him would have denied her. When the Lord looks at us he sees the whole picture too; he does not become obsessed with one or two dark details of the picture. The Lord is attentive to the full story of our lives, not just to a couple of lines of that story. He also knows that the story of our lives is always an unfinished story. It is the Lord himself who will endeavour to write the final chapter of that story when, in the words of Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he will come from heaven to transfigure our lowly bodies into copies of his own glorious body. Speaking through the prophet Jeremiah, the Lord says, ‘I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future full of hope’. The Lord offered the woman, and offers all of us, a ‘future full of hope’. He can offer us such a future because, again in the words of Paul, ‘his power at work within is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine’.

And/Or

(vii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

There are three characters in this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus, the woman and a group of male experts in the Jewish Law. The group of men brought the woman to Jesus to test him. They were using her against him. It was Jesus who was in their sights rather than the woman whom they claimed was caught in the act of adultery. They were of the view that if Jesus was to be faithful to God’s Law, he should condemn the woman. If he didn’t condemn her it would confirm their view of Jesus as someone who broke God’s Law and was, therefore, a sinner. Jesus did not fall into their trap. He gave himself time by writing distractingly on the ground with his finger. When the group persisted, Jesus issued that striking challenge, ‘if there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her’. They had brought the woman to Jesus as a sinner; they were of the view that Jesus himself was a sinner. Now Jesus faces them with the reality of their own sin. Their walking away was their acknowledgement that there was no one among them who had not sinned. We are all sinners; we just sin in different ways. We can never set ourselves up as the moral superior of others. Jesus did not condemn the woman. Yet, he did call her to live in a new way, ‘go away, and don’t sin any more’. Earlier in John’s gospel, Jesus said, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. The Lord’s instinct is not to condemn but to call us and empower us to take a path which will lead us to a share in God’s own life, both now in this earthly life and in eternity.

And/Or

(viii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

We all have to deal with human weakness and moral failure both in ourselves and in others. The gospel reading raises the question as to how moral failure is to be dealt with. The religious authorities who bring the woman to Jesus deal in the currency of condemnation when it comes to moral failure. They invoke the authority of the Jewish Law which condemns the act of adultery. They test Jesus to see whether he will go along with the Jewish Law in this matter, thereby undermining his reputation for mercy, or whether he will reject the Jewish Law, thereby showing himself to be in defiance of God’s Law. Jesus’ enigmatic response, bending down to write on the ground, shows that he refuses to engage with this situation in the terms put to him by the religious authorities. Jesus’ concern is not whether or not the woman is deserving of condemnation, but rather that she be free for a new life that reflects God’s desire for her. Jesus’ searing proposition to the woman’s accusers, ‘If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her’, stops the woman’s accusers in their tracts. Jesus is the only one who is without sin, and he is not in the business of condemning the woman. Who are sinners like the woman’s accusers to do so? Once the accusing men have slunk away, Jesus looks directly at the woman for the first time and addresses her personally. Jesus’ declaration to her that he does not condemn her and his call to her to go away and sin no more show that his entire concern is to rescue her from her terrible plight and set her free for a new direction of life. None of us is without sin. Yet, the Lord is not in the business of condemning us for our many failings. His primary desire is that we live in a way that is worthy of our dignity as sons and daughters of God. He came to show us the way that will be truly life-giving for ourselves and for others and to empower us to follow that way and to keep returning to it after we have failed.

And/Or

(ix) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

Earlier in this fourth gospel, Jesus had said to Nicodemus, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. In today’s gospel reading, people bring a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus, expecting him to condemn her, ‘Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this… What have you to say?’ It was a kind of a trap for Jesus. If he went against Moses, he could be accused of breaking God’s Law. If he followed Moses, he would lose his reputation as a friend of sinners. The best way of dealing with a trap is to sidestep it, and that perhaps is what Jesus was doing by writing on the ground with his finger in silence. He was buying time. Yet, when those who brought the woman persisted with their question, he finally had to break his silence. He did so in a way which took attention away from the woman and place it on her accusers, ‘If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her’. Jesus was reminding the woman’s accusers that they too were sinners. Jesus did just enough by this question to get her accusers to leave her alone. When Jesus is alone with the woman, he doesn’t condemn her, ‘Neither do I condemn you’, but he does call her to a way of life more in keeping with God’s desire for her, ‘go away, and don’t sin any more’. This gospel passage is a study in how the Lord relates to us all. He loves us as we are and never stands before us as one who condemns. Yet, his love for us will always call us beyond where we are towards becoming more fully the person God desires us to be. God desires us to grow into the person of his Son, to become as loving as he is, and God keeps giving us the Holy Spirit to help us to become this person he desires us to be. This journey of becoming is one we will all be travelling until the end of our lives.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[buggie-hagen]

Minor Festival Homily: Michael and All Angels (9/29/23)

Primary Text | John 7:53-8:11

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Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ,

          Today’s passage from John teaches us the difference between God’s judgment and God’s mercy. This passage is traditionally called “the woman caught in adultery.” The scribes and the Pharisees drag the woman to Jesus not because they actually care about what she had done. They bring her so they can trap Jesus and discredit him. So they ask him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” (John 8:4-5). They think, “Aha! Now we have him! We have him caught no matter if he says ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’” If Jesus says, “Yes, stone her” then they’ve won their case against him—he will contradict himself. If Jesus says, “No, don’t stone her” they can accuse him of teaching against Moses. What none of them saw coming was what he would say to them. First, he said nothing. But when they pressed him more on the matter, he said, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7). In this way he blows them all out of the water.

          Let’s consider what Jesus did here. He does not deny the wrongdoing of the woman caught in adultery. Adultery is no little sin. It destroys the divine institution of marriage. It tears families apart. It unsettles any little ones involved affecting them the rest of their lives. Adultery causes black mold to grow on the trust necessary for such intimate relationships. God’s judgment in the law of Moses for such a sin is death by stoning. Which, Jesus does not deny. God’s judgment is unbending. It condemns outright and totally—that is the function of the law. But Jesus says here only the one without sin can be the one to stone her. In saying that Jesus slings the mud right back at the Pharisees. For they realize that they do not qualify to throw stones—they too, have their sins. Turns out, it was not they who caught Jesus, but Jesus who caught them. So they leave one by one so that Jesus and the woman are left alone to themselves.  Then, Jesus said to the woman, “‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again’” (John 8:10-11). Now we begin to see the difference between God’s judgment and God’s mercy. The kingdom of Jesus is filled only with sinners, actual sinners. But forgiven sinners. Luther wrote on this passage, “God’s mercy does not deal with insignificant sins, half-sins, imaginary sins, or sins that are no sins, but real sins that are felt. For example, not to fear God, not to trust Him and believe in Him, not to love one’s neighbor, not to pray, not to hear preaching, not to keep the commandments of Moses, any violation of God’s command, something that cannot be ignored—these call for a genuine, not a meaningless, forgiveness.” According to the law this woman caught stands condemned in her adultery. According to the gospel, this woman is forgiven. 

The Pharisees walked away because as sinful as adultery is, Jesus has held up the mirror, showing them that they are not so holy and pure as they think they are—they do not have a better standing than this woman they brought to shame. When it comes to sin, we are all on equal ground and equally condemned. Let us not think that we ourselves are pure and holy on the basis of what we do or do not do. In his teaching on adultery Jesus does not lower the severity of the sixth commandment on adultery—he illuminates its scope by saying anyone who even gazes at another with lust in their heart has committed adultery. So he has caught us in the act. But like the woman caught in adultery, you and I are upheld by the kingdom of the gospel—where there is no longer punishment or condemnation. The slogan of Christ’s kingdom is this: “I forgive you your sin; for in My kingdom no one is without forgiveness” (from Luther). Dear people, it is not holy, pure, and good people who are admitted to the kingdom. Those he sends far away. It is the adulterers and any who know the depth of their sin, these are the ones he brings in. And so he has brought you in by the hearing of the word, that first word that puts to death, and that second word that raises you from the dead—whatever your sin Jesus says to you, “I do not condemn you. I do not condemn you.”

[wrenwinchester]

Okay, as a Christian. I have things I need to say about pride to my fellow Christians. And because I don’t have a voice in my family, or at least haven’t found it yet, tumblr gets it.

Y’all are so mad about these people celebrating who they are, and “shoving” their so called “agenda” in your face, but that’s not it at all.

They’ve been crying out to be heard, to just receive basic human rights, we are called to love our neighbors. We should be out in the streets with them, their sins, whatever they may be, are between them and God, and who are we to judge?

Jesus said, “Let he who is without sin, throw the first stone.” And everyone walked away except for him. And He looked at the woman, and told her to go forth and sin no more, but that’s His job, not ours, our only job is to set an example and be an example of Jesus’ love.

How we treat people in the lgbtqia+ community says more about us as Christians than it does about them.

Also they didn’t steal the rainbow, they chose rainbow colors to represent themselves, there’s a difference. And why can’t we share? They’re God’s children to, even if they never believed, or turned away because of how they were treated by so called “Christians” or any number of reasons, God still loves them, and so should we. They are still God’s beautiful creations.

We don’t have to be best friends with them, but we should still love them. And show them love, not hate. And if you hate them, or find yourself feeling disgusted or ashamed of someone you know when you find out they’re a part of the lgbtqia+ community, you should reexamine yourself, because God doesn’t want us to be divided, Jesus said “a house divided amongst itself cannot stand.” He doesn’t want his children divided, and He wants every last human to meet Him where they are, because as the father of the prodigal son was, He is waiting for us with open arms. All of us.

I’m gonna reiterate because it feels important. We are supposed to be living examples of what Christ was like. Christ who spent his time with tax collectors, prostitutes and sinners. Showing them kindness in a world that so often isn’t. A world that we as Christian’s know is failing, but we shouldn’t be letting the world pills define how we look at people, we should see them as Children of God, even when they aren’t acting like it.

The Golden Rule, you know “treat others how you would have them treat you,” isn’t an invitation to treat people poorly just because they treat you poorly, it’s a call to treat them how you want to be treated, even, and especially when they aren’t treating you well.

To be able to help others they have to trust us, and they can’t do that if all we’re doing is judging them for who they are.

Frankly, it’s the same for other religions too. We must show respect to them, for them to even consider hearing us.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. And those who treat it like a religion are missing out on the main point of it. Which is a personal relationship with our creator through Jesus Christ.

And I don’t mean to make this an us vs. them, it’s not. Not in my mind. I’m asexual. I don’t experience sexual attraction, and the idea of sex is meh for me as an individual. Like it or not, I’m a part of the LGBTQIA+ community (I do like it by the way, many if them are more welcoming than a lot of the Christians I know. At least to people who aren’t like them.

[mylyricpages]

'THE GREAT MIGRATION' ( FULL LENGTH VERSION ) ( 2017 )

THE ROAD AHEAD OF US

HEART OF THE CITY

HEAVENLY RAIN

ANCIENT HYMNS

MEET YOU IN THE MORNING

BROKEN DAYS

SAIL YOUR SEAS WISELY

O’ REST MY WEARY SOUL

ODE TO YOU ( SONG FOR JAYDEN )

OLDER THAN YESTERDAY

WILL YOU WEEP? ( I TRIED MY VERY BEST )

ODYSSEY OF YOU & I

February 2017 - March 2017

THE ROAD AHEAD OF US

You’re wrapped up in all your old memories stood on an unfamiliar corner cause your old street’s no longer there you’re driving past the same old places you and I used to know so very well where we used to live our lives without a single care reminded of all the times you and I would hang all the good time rock and roll songs you and I sang with the boys and girls on a Saturday night

We had our glory days, our halcyon days we knew we had to keep going the horizon always calling us the road always ahead of us

We’re always gonna need the road ahead of us We’re always gonna need the ground beneath our feet We’re always gonna need the horizon to be just out of reach

You’re caught up with all your old ghosts in the ruins of our shared past looking for something that’s no longer there you’re driving past the old Royal where you and I spent so many nights where everyone we knew was always gonna be there reminded of all the times when we used to laugh all the precious moments that so quickly passed with the jukebox poets on a Friday night

We had our glory days, our halcyon days we knew we had to keep going the horizon always calling us the road always ahead of us

We’re always gonna need the road ahead of us We’re always gonna need the ground beneath our feet We’re always gonna need the horizon to be just out of reach

It don’t matter how good some things are we all need to change in the end we all need to move on be something new something else instead always follow the road follow the road ahead of us

the road ahead of us the road always ahead of us

HEART OF THE CITY

Mourning for the morning, living for the night making enemies, starting bloody fights throwing biblical stones breaking every bone falling in love, living on lust no gold, just rust everything or nothing everybody wants something gonna lose, gonna win gonna be good gonna sin

no money, get a life, living on empty edge of a knife another poison trip, a lonely night strip inject through the eyes tell tale lies hit out hard, vicious greeting card back against the wall in blood we shall scrawl waiting for the call never gonna fall so fuck ‘em all

guess it’s better than most so raise a fuckin’ toast to all the lost like you and me

Welcome to the underground Welcome to the underground Welcome to the heart of the city

Surviving till morning, scrambling through the night grasping hands, one night stands flame on a spoon, gone way too soon vague like a whisper burn like a blister needle’s chill, poppin’ a pill shoot from the hip don’t give a shit bullet proof, stone cold aloof a sassy bitch, gotta scratch that itch

self soothing, body abusing, the longest race a pretty face the loneliest girl, a scary world a slow romance, the dead can’t dance he who prayed, last of the glitter brigade up against the wall still standing tall never gonna crawl so fuck ‘em all

guess it’s better than most so raise a fuckin’ toast to all the lost like you and me

Welcome to the underground Welcome to the underground Welcome to the heart of the city

Well, look at the junkie angel shooting up in front of heaven’s gates So blissfully unaware of the all mighty’s stare as she struggles to get her daily kicks guess when it comes right down to it she’s just like you and me another lonely soul lost in the heart of the big bad city

HEAVENLY RAIN

You are the headlights through the fog you are the lighthouse through the storm the first light of every dawn you are the recurring image in every stolen dream you are the most beautiful soul I have ever seen

Oh, say you’ll take me home tonight Oh, say you’ll take me home tonight

Oh, you feel like heavenly rain upon my face Oh, you wash all of my sins away

Without a single trace without a trace

You are the sunshine on the grey days You are the brightness through the winter days the sweet scent of early may You are the soul I knew in another time You are the dream I have dreamt my entire life

Oh, say you’ll take me home tonight Oh, say you’ll take me home tonight

Oh, you feel like heavenly rain upon my face Oh, you wash all of my sins away

Without a single trace without a trace

I can see the sunset reflected in your eyes see our love writ large across the sky as the night sweeps in around us

All I wish every time I wake is to spend the rest of my days with you All I wish every time I wake is to spend the rest of my days with you

All I wish All I wish

ANCIENT HYMNS

I long to return and stay and not forever roam I long to return to my sweet ancestral home I long to see the shadowed spires high against the red evening sky I long to sleep in the place where I also wish to die I long to see the silver moonlight ‘a shining in a star filled night I long to see thatched roofs a’ silhouetted at morning light I long to hear the words of all the timeless stories long since untold I long to dream forgotten memories of a time long ago

I long, I long, oh how I long

I long to see such ancient buildings of old I long to see the scars of the countless centuries unfold I long to sing the words of the ballads and the sweet blessed hymns I long to stand high upon them ol’ rolling hills I long to stand beneath clear skies while I’m awake from dawn till dusk I long to see our forgotten history gathered in the dust I long to return to those fair dales of ever English green I long to wander in all the places so very rarely seen

I long, I long, oh how I long

I long to return to where the trees gently sway I long to see crops shine like gold in the sweet light of day I long to see the rivers ‘a gently glisten in the beams I long to see the waters of the purest streams I long to see the summer a’ slowly growing I long to see the horizon still a’ softly glowing I long to hear those distant but familiar chimes I long to return to such hallowed times I long to find the secret place of that old oak tree I long to find the secret place where I first met thee

I long, I long, oh how I long to see it all once again I long, I long, oh how I long to see thee once again

I long to sing, sing such ancient hymns for thee I long to sing, sing such ancient hymns for thee

MEET YOU IN THE MORNING

Darling, put your head against my shoulder I’ll hold you through the dark of night until the dawn I’ll hold you in my arms I’ll carry your hopes I’ll carry your fears let me hold your dreams when all your strength is gone

I’ll meet you in the morning I’ll meet you in the morning

Darling, put your head upon my chest I’ll comfort you in the dark until the day begins to dawn I’ll hold you in my arms I’ll carry your angels I’ll carry your ghosts let me hold your dreams when all your strength is gone

I’ll meet you in the morning I’ll meet you in the morning

Lying here, hearing your song waiting for you to wake up you can sweep it all away turn everything around just like the first time I met you

I’ll meet you in the morning I’ll see you in the morning When you open your eyes

BROKEN DAYS

No one ever showed us how to punch out against the sadness in our lives No one ever taught us how to find that single truth in an avalanche of lies No one ever showed us how to stumble through each and every single day to keep picking ourselves back up again No one ever taught us how to turn it all around when we know we’ve really had enough

No one ever showed us how to be so grown up when somehow nothing ever seems to go right No one ever taught us how to sleep soundly when all our fears find us in the dark of the night No one ever taught us the words of this ever changing song I guess somehow we just made it all up as we went along

I guess we just learnt how to figure it out be ourselves and always shout aloud I guess we just learnt all the many ways we could get through our broken days

You and me, you and me we’re bullet proof angels nothing can bring us down nothing can bring us down You and me, you and me we’re bullet proof angels we’ll carry on we’ll carry on

SAIL YOUR SEAS WISELY

We were the few, the foolish and the brave but we really knew nothing at all We thought we heard the alarms we carried on and we kept ourselves calm we thought we heard the rallying calls but soon we found out we really knew nothing at all

We let ourselves be dragged before the court of our elders we let ourselves be put on trial never put our case forward no words of denial put ourselves before our peers exposed our hopes our desires, our fears let the bastards judge if we should really be free simply because we were young

Well, in the ever changing days of our lives it was a moment in time never to be forgotten we knew the road stretched ever onwards as soon as the opportunity arose we were already gone left everything we knew behind us

Well, everything’s taken for granted and nothing’s ever for free we take our chances and we pay our dues and most days that’s good enough for me

Well, real magic isn’t pulled from the air it’s from taking chances when life’s really not playing fair And when we get where we’re going I’ll meet you there

And if anyone should put you down tell them to go fuck themselves and never go to ground and if you can, walk away your head held high and look every enemy squarely in the eye

Oh, sail your seas wisely my friend, sail your seas wisely

Oh, sail your seas wisely my friend

O’ REST MY WEARY SOUL

O’ rest my weary soul now all my fields are finally sown take me back faraway to the place where I once was known O’ rest my weary soul now all my dreams have never dawned take me back faraway to the place where I once was born

O’ rest my weary soul now I’ve returned to the sea take me back faraway to the place where once I felt so free O’ rest my weary soul now all my long days have begun to gently fade take me back faraway now all my debts have been repaid

O’ rest my weary soul now all my promises are made take me back faraway to the place that always reminds me of younger days O’ rest my weary soul now my soul’s no longer mine to sell take me back faraway to the place I’ve always known so very well

Well, I’ve walked many long roads crossed many rivers and seas memories and places are the things that really matter to me and when I’m lost to them I know I’m truly free

O’ I know I’m truly free

ODE TO YOU ( SONG FOR JAYDEN )

Well, here’s to you, dear nephew with brave of soul and shining eyes of blue Well, here’s to you, dear nephew young of spirit, may goodness always follow you

May your life never be empty May all your fields always grow aplenty May sadness never weigh down upon you in all your given days

Well, here’s to you, dear nephew with strength of will and beating heart so true Well, here’s to you, dear nephew free of spirit, may happiness always follow you

May your life never be sad May all your times always be glad May darkness never weigh down upon you in all your given days

All I’ve learned in this life I’ll try to pass on to you show you all the roads I’ve taken all the many chances I’ve foolishly forsaken All the bad choices I’ve made all the good days that will never fade All the mistakes I wish I could somehow always take back all the things that always pull us from our proper path

I can tell you all these things yet I know you have to make your own way upon this road I have no real answers but I can show you what I think I know maybe help you on your way as you change and as you grow

For the ‘Little Punk’

OLDER THAN YESTERDAY

Staring in the mirror at the lines on my face seeing a man with a sadness he just can’t hide I’m getting older but am I really getting any wiser inside still somehow I keep on trying while the heart inside of me keeps on dying I’m tired and broken and fucked up but there’s one thing you should know I got it somewhere inside me to change and to grow

I’m just a simple man I’m doing all I can to change the way I used to be but I’m fragile and I’m weak I’m just a simple man

Always, it’s the kind of thing that keeps you up at night wonderin’ how they really do see you

Always, it’s the kind of thing that keeps you up at night wonderin’ how you’re gonna make it through to the day

I remember all the songs I used to sing about sleepless nights and hard living and waking up in unfamiliar places I remember the words of every song all those special ones I never invited along and carried on upon my own road with no regret or doubt at all

Now I’m so much older than yesterday I remember all the things I used to say now all my regrets I finally feel for all the precious moments I did steal and I wish to one day gladly wake somehow turn back the clock and soundly forsake all the stupid choices I made back in the day

WILL YOU WEEP? ( I TRIED MY VERY BEST )

Will you weep for me, will you weep for me will you say I lived my life well Will you eulogise my name or damn my soul to hell

Will you weep for me, will you weep for me will you sing my name in the streets Will you sing all my songs to the ancient seas

Will you weep for me, will you weep for me Will you carve my name in ancient stone Will you tell fond stories of the days when I walked this fair land alone

Will you weep for me, will you weep for me Will you call my name into the howling wind Will you stand at my graveside until time itself grows still

Will you all weep when I go and die will you remember the man who used to be the boy yes, I fucked up so many goddamn times and all of the rest but I hope you know I tried my very best

Will you all weep when I go away will you hold all night parties, hang banners in my name yes, I fucked up too many goddamn times, to that I will attest but I hope you know I tried my very best

I tried my very best I tried my very best but things never quite went the way I’d hoped for

ODYSSEY OF YOU & I

You and I, memory fades, pale hands, eyes deep sea blue You and I, dreams linger minds still asleep smell of day newly arriving birdsong and early morning breeze You and I, solitude clings sleepy shapes grow into woken dreams You and I, puzzle the many pieces missing no sense of grey hope rises and love is born

You and I, watching the crashing of eternal waves footprints like memories in the sand You and I, echoes of each other bare feet on grass under blue sky You and I, entwined upon the same path lost in our footsteps always moving on You and I, an endless odyssey of only one always looking forward moments lost forever gone

And so it goes on and so it goes on

[belafujoshisdead]

Snakesick

Orialu and Orineimu have a slumber party.

----

Orialu had never especially liked her chambers, but at least there she had some semblance of privacy, and a few personal touches all her own. In her bedroom was the vanity before which Orialu stood on days when she could do her makeup as she wished instead of submitting to House Ilisaf’s stylists. Across the room, on the other side of her bed, the wall was taken up by shelves full of holotapes: stageplays, reenacted myths, duels and executions from years past, lectures on anatomy and theater-craft and channeling and combat, all of them seventy-seven times more interesting than the lessons Orialu was forced to sit through during the day. In the back, next to her bed, was an archway, beyond which lay her solitarium, with its mirrored wall for her to check her form when she moved through spear drills alone, and a figure-stand upon which she could set training dummies made of false bone and gelflesh to practice her cuts.

But even with those touches, the bones of Orialu’s rooms were still ilisaafi, made of the same kind of stone carved into the same kind of shapes as the rest of her mother’s court. Your court too, one day, don’t forget, she thought, and immediately felt like throwing something.

Still, there was one thing to be said for her chambers: they were one of the only places other than Syata Kuur’s lesson room where she needn’t confine Ai Naa’s anchor to its case.

The first thing Orialu had done upon reaching her rooms was call a servant to bring her a set of cold compresses. The second thing she’d done was start thinking about what she might say at court tomorrow; most reporters would be focused on her mother, but someone was bound to point a microphone at the heir to House Ilisaf as well. That had set her pacing, as thinking so often did. Even the soreness in her muscles couldn’t override her need for movement. By the time a servant showed up with the cold compresses she’d called for, asking where she’d like them, Orialu was so deeply buried in thought that all she could do was thank them distractedly while pointing at her vanity. As soon as the servant laid down the compresses and left, Orialu forgot them entirely.

She paced back and forth, and forth and back, and back and forth some more, her feet padding silently against the marbled pink-and-violet floors. Orialu already knew what she should say: that she didn’t want her royal father to die, but he had to answer for his sins. That she didn’t want to believe him capable of what he’d done, but the evidence was undeniable. That the high jurists’ verdict and the votes of the venarchs’ panel and the voice of the crowd all outweighed whatever she felt. That her heart bled for her father’s house as they reeled from this blow to their family name, and that she trusted the greater blood of House Tauhrelil to prevail in her veins over whatever madness had infected her father.

All of it was true, yet none of it felt like enough. Was there nothing more between them? Orialu rifled through her memories of her father, back and back with increasing desperation, and found only silence.

It wasn’t as if she wanted him to die. If someone had given Orialu a choice between having her father dead or alive, she would have chosen the latter without hesitation. She wanted to watch him be killed even less. But the longer she thought about it, the more Orialu realized that that was all the further it went. It didn’t seem right. A daughter about to lose her father should be saddened; she should be fighting not to weep like a son. She should be furious at whatever was taking her parent from her. She should feel hollow, as if half the living blood were being drained from her body.

Weep for a father who never so much as smiled at you, Orialu thought, and instead felt her lips peel back reflexively into a grin. Rage at the loss of your father, never mind that you remember his absences more than anything else. Her hand tightened around Ai Naa’s spearshaft. When had she picked it up? How long had she been holding it? Mourn the death of your father, who gave you these tauhreliili features and then disappeared into his lab full-time – except for when Mother dragged him out. Guess she should have done that more often, but it’s a little late to course-correct now, isn’t it?

Vene’s death wouldn’t be much different from Vene’s living absence. She would watch her father die upon the Court, and perhaps some people would speak to her differently afterwards, but her daily life would barely change. That made Orialu want to weep, or laugh wildly, or maybe just scream.

To one side of Orialu’s rooms stood a set of glass doors, and beyond them a balcony of pale stone, half-glowing under the moonlight. Orialu threw the doors open, though she felt more like just smashing through them, and stalked out onto the balcony.

It was a beautiful, still night. Below the balcony, her mother’s court spread out in a splendor of colored lanterns and captive light. What was it Mother said? In House Ilisaf, dawn reigns eternal, no matter how black the night. I think she was quoting someone. Orialu shook her head sharply and looked up, breathed deep. Maybe the Ilisaf court was all dawnlight forever, but the sky above it was as dark as the night sky anywhere else on Tei Ura. The split moon hanging over her head hung just the same over the rest of the world; the same glittering sea of stars would look down on her no matter where on the planet she stood.

Looking at the moon was better than pacing the floors of her rooms, letting her brain chew itself to bloody shreds. Maybe if she was lucky and looked hard enough, she’d see a shooting star, or a lunar relay rocketing up the transit tethers that linked Tei Ura to its moon. Orialu sank a mental nail through Ai Naa’s anchor, pinning it in midair, and perched atop it, face tipped skyward. A warm breeze washed over her, scented with night-blooming flowers and the leftover rain-smell of that afternoon’s storm.

Perfect night for flying, part of her whispered, and Ai Naa responded with a flare of excitement. She could feel the spear-shaft all but thrumming under her thighs. Stop that, she ought to have said, and then followed it up by wrestling Ai Naa back into silence, but instead Orialu let the spear bob a little higher in the air. Then a little more. The night wind smelled so fresh, so free…the spear rose a little higher, and if she glided forward just a little she would clear the parapet…

The sound of glass chimes broke into her thoughts. Orialu swore, hopped back down to the balcony, and pulled Ai Naa’s anchor down to her side. Who the scabbing fuck is trying to get into my rooms at this hour?

“Can I come in?” Orineimu asked when Orialu opened the door. “Please? I can’t sleep.”

“Of course you can,” Orialu said, her irritation evaporating like morning dew. She leaned Ai Naa’s anchor against the wall and stood aside so her sister could enter. “You alright, Neimu? You look upset.”

Orineimu waited until Orialu had closed the door. As soon as it hissed shut, Orineimu’s face crumpled into a frown, and tears began to bead in her gray eyes.

“I don’t want to go to court tomorrow,” she said, her voice trembling. Orialu’s heart cramped at the sound of it, and she fought to keep a frown to match Orineimu’s off her face. At nineteen, Orialu had already begun her second growth phase, but Orineimu had yet to hit hers, and so barely came up to Orialu’s chest. Orialu had to go to her knees before she could hug her sister. As soon as she did, Orineimu threw her arms around her in return and pressed her face against Orialu’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Orialu said, and had to keep her own voice from trembling. “You need to cry? Go ahead. It’s just us in here.” She tried to smile, even though Orineimu wouldn’t see it. “As future head of House Ilisaf, I hereby decree that my baby sister can cry in my personal chambers as much as she wants.”

Orineimu’s shoulders hitched in what could have been a sob or a giggle. Then she was crying in earnest, leaking hot silent tears against Orialu’s shirt.

“It’s not just about court, is it,” said Orialu after her sister’s sobs had tapered off.

Orineimu pushed back from her, damp-eyed and sniffling. “Do you have any tissues?”

“Oh, take this, you’ve already been using it,” Orialu said, and pulled off her shirt. “What’s a few more wet patches, am I right? Just throw it in the laundry chute when you’re done.”

“That’s gross,” said Orineimu, but took it anyway, and as Orialu was putting on a fresh shirt, she heard Orineimu blow her nose.

“So,” Orialu said as she returned to her sister’s side, clean-shirted, “do you want to talk about it? Or do you want a distraction, instead?”

“I…” Orineimu looked at the floor and bit her lip.

“You don’t have to answer me,” Orialu cut in. “Let’s not even think about it right now. Want to watch something?” She gestured at her wall of holotapes before another thought struck her. “When was dinner – like six hours ago, right? You hungry?”

Orineimu looked up at her sister, clearly wanting to say yes, and clearly worried all the same. “It’s so late,” she said. “We really shouldn’t…”

“Sure, we shouldn’t,” said Orialu, “but doesn’t eating spicy snakemeat and watching Phantoms of the Shadowed Sea with your sister sound better than going back to your room?”

Orineimu stuck out her tongue at that. “You like spicy snake,” she said.

“And you like seared sweetbelly ants and melon rice, want me to order those too?”

“Well…” Orineimu glanced up at her sister and picked at a seam on her linen nightdress.

“Do it, come on,” Orialu said, and grinned. “Be bad with me.”

“…Can we get some nectar ice, too?”

“You can.” It was Orialu’s turn to stick out her tongue, which finally got a smile out of Orineimu. Nectar ice wasn’t truly made of nectar, only flavored with it, but it was still sweet enough that the thought of eating it made Orialu want to gag.

Orialu picked out Phantoms from the wall of holotapes and handed it to her sister. Then she picked up her cellband from where it had indeed being lying abandoned by her bedside all day, tapped it awake, and found thirteen messages from Rahelai, each one containing more question marks and desperation than the last. Orialu cursed internally and keyed off a quick reply – I didn’t lose my band and I know about court tomorrow, don’t worry – before sending another message to the kitchens for the food. Behind her, she heard the holocaster hum to life, and then a swelling of waves and a shiver of strings as Phantoms began to play.

Orineimu was already seated on the bed, but her gaze was focused on the holocast display. While her sister’s back was turned, Orialu retrieved Ai Naa’s anchor from where she’d leaned it against the wall, then slid it under the bed; her beloved would have to go without her touch for the next few hours, but the closer she kept him, the easier it was to bear. And now that that’s taken care of…

“WATCH OUT!” Orialu yelled, and then threw herself belly-first onto the bed hard enough to make Orineimu tip over, which finally got her to laugh aloud. Satisfied, Orialu propped herself up on her elbows to watch the cast. Beside her, she felt Orineimu adopt the same pose.

Orialu had always liked holocasts better than two-dimensional recordings. With a flat screening, you could really only sit and look. With a cast, it was like having a theater right there in your room, as long as you ignored the part where everything was a captive light projection instead of flesh-and-blood actors. You could get up and walk right into the picture to get a closer look, or rotate the display and watch everything from a different angle, and there was something about the depth of a three-dimensional cast that held Orialu’s attention better than screens ever could.

“Now I must take sail, sister mine,” Captain Arevai Renenn, the heroine of Phantoms, was saying, “and return what was stolen to its rightful place. You must head the family in my absence. When you see my sails again, you will know the curse is lifted…”

The food came just as Captain Renenn and her seventy-seven sailors were facing the Harrowing Cliffs, the first of the many disasters that plagued their journey. Orialu took the platters from the servant who’d brought them and bore the steaming trays straight to her bed, the foot of which was carved stone and broad enough to use as a table, as long as they were careful. Orialu lifted one cover and exposed Orineimu’s food: fried river rice dotted with bits of charred melon, fresh-cooked and still steaming; ants with crispy bodies and bellies fat with honey; a lacquered bowl of shaved ice drizzled with nectar syrup and garnished with edible flowers.

“Your sweets, sweet sister,” she said, and pushed the tray a little ways towards Orineimu before opening her own. Chunks of snakemeat glistened up at her, stewed in a spicy-salty red sauce made with dragonbreath peppers and a touch of culinary venom. The cooks had sent up a little jar of pepper oil along with the meat, in case for some reason the sauce wasn’t searing-hot enough on its own. There were vegetables, too, but Orialu ignored them. Ai Naa had tastes, specific tastes; her beloved fed on pain and flesh, and the food of humans sickened him.

Sometimes, though, he’d take burning spices and red-dripping meat in place of – but thinking of what Ai Naa wanted would only worsen Orialu’s chances of keeping the food down. Instead of thinking, Orialu speared a long strip of snakemeat, dropped it into her mouth, and felt her tongue take flame. She swallowed and reached for another. The more she ate now, the better her odds of actually getting some of it digested before Ai Naa made her throw it back up. If he did, Orialu reminded herself; he didn’t always make her. Sometimes, she got to keep everything she ate.

But the older she got, the less often it happened.

Please. Thinking it made Orialu feel dirty, weak, but she couldn’t stop the thoughts any more than she could stop her own heartbeat. Please, I’m having such a nice time with Neimu right now, let me keep it down, tonight at least…

Her beloved didn’t answer; he was too busy basking in the capsaicin blaze that filled Orialu’s mouth and savoring the feeling of flesh sliding down her throat. Maybe she would get to keep what she ate tonight, maybe the spiceburn and the meat dripping red would satisfy him enough, but there was no way for her to find out except to count down the hours – after four, it was usually safe – and wait.

Half an hour passed; Orialu finished her dish of snake as Captain Renenn’s first mate dueled the first mate of the pirate vessel Serpent Star. “Oh, I hate this part,” Orineimu whispered as Renenn’s woman fell, and Renenn and her crew lined up and submitted to capture. Orineimu put down her spoon and watched the next part through her fingers: Captain Renenn violating the verdict of the duel by killing the pirate captain with a hidden knife. Her sailors wavering a moment, before joining her and killing off the rest of the Serpent Star’s crew. It was too choreographed and story-stylized to hit Orialu in the gut, but she couldn’t blame Orineimu for hiding her face; her sister had never shared her stomach for blood.

You don’t fucking say, Orialu thought, and had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing wildly.

An hour gone. Renenn and her crew were making their way through the hazards of the Seaborne Forest. Orineimu’s food was half-gone and her eyes were half-closed; she seemed to be drowsing in between bites of nectar ice. Half an hour later, she was asleep. Orialu debated waking her up – they were coming up on Renenn’s interlude in the unseen world, and she knew it was Orineimu’s favorite part – but with court tomorrow, her sister needed the sleep. And if Orialu did lose her food later, it would be best if Orineimu were too busy dreaming to hear the vomit.

Orialu looked down at her sister. She’d fallen asleep with her head at the foot of Orialu’s bed, her hair in her face, the nectar ice spoon still in her hand and drooling a little sticky-sweet puddle onto Orialu’s sheets. Orialu tucked the blanket over Orineimu, then reached under the bed with one hand. Ai Naa’s anchor was there, not on the floor, but pressed to the underside of the bedframe, as if trying to force its way through so that they could reunite.

Orialu shifted so that she lay on her stomach. So that it was easier to reach the spear. She put her hand under the bed again and found the spear shaft. Curled her fingers around it. It would have been easier to just pull the spear up onto the bed with her. Orineimu was fast asleep and wouldn’t have noticed…but something about the thought of having Ai Naa’s anchor in her bed while her little sister was in it made Orialu’s skin crawl.

Be easier to just get out of the bed. Only she’d put on the cast to watch with Orineimu, and getting up before it was over felt like abandonment. Neimu’s asleep, Orialu reminded herself, she won’t know if you get up. Even so, Orialu waited until the cast had ended before carefully extricating herself from the bed. As soon as she was up and standing, Ai Naa’s anchor fairly flew into her hand. The rings adorning the crossguard jangled as the spear’s shaft smacked against her palm, making Orialu freeze momentarily. Only when she was sure that the noise hadn’t woken Orineimu did she step away.

It had been over two hours since Orialu had eaten her snakemeat, over two hours without even a flicker of nausea, and she’d begun to hope, faintly, cautiously, that she’d get to keep it after all. But she’d scarcely taken two steps from her bed with the spear in hand before her stomach began to churn in a way that Orialu recognized only too well. Perhaps the motion of getting up had set it off, or perhaps reuniting with the anchor let her beloved impose his hunger upon her more easily. Or maybe he was never going to let you have it in the first place. She supposed she should be grateful that Ai Naa had waited until after Orineimu was asleep to reject the food. Orialu hooked two fingers through the rings of the spear to keep them silenced, then half-ran for the bathroom, her other hand pressed to her mouth, desperately swallowing to keep the vomit at bay until she’d closed the door behind her. Then she knelt in front of the toilet, still holding the spear with one hand, pulling back her hair with the other, and retched up all she’d eaten. Tears stood out in her right eye, and behind her eye patch, a hot needle of pain stabbed at the ruined tear duct of her empty socket. Orialu told herself it was only because of the pain, for, mixed as it now was with stomach acid, the searing pepper sauce burned twice as much coming up as it had going down. Soon the food was all out of her; soon she was bringing up acid alone. Only then did Ai Naa let it end.

Orialu sat back and stared into the porcelain bowl, her stomach empty, her throat burning. The snakemeat glistened back up at her, half-digested, swimming in red.

“Fuck you,” she said hoarsely, and spat into the bowl. “I’m still not feeding you for another two weeks.”

The spear-rings twitched under her fingers. Orialu clenched her hand and forced them into stillness. She stared at the pulped meat, at the red sauce mixed with water and bile. In the dim half-light of the bathroom, it looked like a pool of blood; and because Orialu’s eye and mind saw it as blood, Ai Naa saw it the same way.

And so Orialu’s stomach clenched again, this time in hunger.

Orialu waited for it to pass. Then she gathered her legs under her and stood, flushed away the vomit, and went back to her bedroom. Orineimu was still deep asleep, motionless save for the soft up-and-down of her breathing, which Orialu could see even from across the room. She pulled her eye away before Ai Naa could make her start hearing her sister’s heartbeat, too.

With her beloved’s hunger still haunting her, it was safer to leave the room entirely, but if Orialu stepped out of her chambers, someone might see, and then word might make it back to her mother. Up night-walking, when I should be resting up for tomorrow’s session at court. Another mark against me, no matter how good of an excuse I can think up. Orialu sighed and turned to the balcony doors. She slid one open as quietly as she could, peeked over to make sure the sound hadn’t disturbed Orineimu, and then stepped out onto the balcony.

She sat there, alone save for Ai Naa and his spear in her lap, and stared at the sky, waiting for the hunger to fade. She watched as the moon sank; as the horizon lightened; as sunlight began to bleach the stars from the sky one by one.

When the sun was up and the hunger had faded, she went in to wake Orineimu, so that the two of them could prepare for court.

Well, I’ll get her some breakfast first, Orialu thought. And if she asks why I’m not getting anything…I woke up first. I ate already.

She told herself that it wasn’t fully a lie.

[jdgo51]

Practice the Art of Gentleness

Today's inspiration comes from:

Love the Life You Have

by Nathalie Ouederni

"Nothing is so strong as true gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as true strength." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Have you ever seen gentleness de-escalate a tense situation? If so, maybe you were the source of that gentleness.

The Bible tells us that a gentle answer can calm a person’s anger (Proverbs 15:1). Gentleness almost always contributes to contentment as well as peace. Throughout His life, Jesus showed us by His example the power of gentleness. See in Matthew 11:29 the way He described Himself:

Accept my teachings and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. — NCV

And consider His gentleness with a woman caught in adultery. The Pharisees and teachers of the law were ready to stone her in accordance with Jewish law. Then Jesus made this simple statement:

Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her. — John 8:7

When no one did, when each one walked away, Jesus was alone with the woman. To her He said simply,

Go and sin no more. — John 8:11 NLT

Choose gentleness today. Refrain from judging others. Treat the people you encounter the way you would like them to treat you, the gentle way your Good Shepherd treats you.

Psalm 23 is perhaps the most beautiful expression of Jesus’ gentle ways with us:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Grace is the face that love wears.

Extend Grace

Grace is the face that love wears when it meets imperfection. ~ Joseph R. Cooke

The world was a kinder place when people interacted face-to-face. It isn’t easy to say rude things when you’re looking someone in the eyes. Slamming someone over social media or with a flippant text message is much easier — and that is happening far too much. Freedom of speech has lost its filter. Thoughtless, disrespectful, hurtful comments run rampant today in social media, late-night talk shows, and even the news.

How do you deal with rude people? When someone is rude to you, maybe your first reaction is to be rude right back. Rudeness responding to rudeness destroys peace. There are better ways to deal with a person’s lack of courtesy and kindness.

Recognize that someone’s imperfections are just that. If a person makes a disagreeable comment on your social media post, cuts in front of you in the grocery line, or, ignoring you, keeps talking on their cell phone, don’t take it personally. Their behavior is about them, not you. So rather than allowing something to upset you and steal your contentment, practice grace by taking the following steps:

Take a deep breath. Remember what you’re committed to in your heart. Lead by example and treat them the way you would like to be treated. Go one step further and offer authentic listening, an act of kindness, or help with something you learn they are dealing with. Extending grace to difficult people takes practice, but remembering how many times you have received grace makes extending it to others a little easier. Blessing people with grace — with the grace of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, or patience — can help break the cycle of upset in the world. Become a beacon of grace and peace.

Grace is the face that love wears."

Excerpted with permission from Love the Life You Have by Jean Fischer, copyright Thomas Nelson.

[orthodoxxing]

honestly i’m not viscerally angry about a lot of things but. as a christian i just wanna say a big fuck you to the rich texan evangelical communities who fund, among other things, homophobic and anti-abortion campaigns and societies in eastern european countries that make our lives a living hell

[bonny-kookoo]

Sing to me: JJK x Reader 🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Mermaid AU, Siren!Jungkook, Prince!Jungkook, homeless!Reader, Romance,  Smut duh

Wordcount: 5k (medium)

Tags/Warnings: okay so, spoiled kook, possessive kook, Theres literally an attempted murder lol, drowning? whoops, blood oh no, reader is hella fucking dense ok, biting, courting lol, fish boy is in love, whoops, anyways we got sexy times too, because in this AU fishboy got legs n all of that hah, unprotected sex because, guys pls this ain't supposed to he realistic, wrap it before you tap it folks, its also not all that filthy lol, blink and you'll miss the scene, honestly I didn't include much smut because yall nasty so you will ask for dirty drabbles anyways, not that I mind lol, k I'm done I think, wow mom I've sinned less than usual..

Summary: Help me love myself, and I might learn to love you as well.

Or alternatively: you save Jungkook from being killed, and he totally gets the wrong signals. But he's cute, so its fine. Probably.

Jungkook is floating.

He thinks about what lies above the waves, and cant think of anything he really finds interesting. The surface is littered in junk, in things humans leave behind without thinking twice about it. It's air is thick and stuffy, hard to breathe and never clear at all. It's crowded, with creatures who at the end of the day all look the same in his eyes. There's nothing exciting about the world people walk on.

Its boring, and dirty.

His own home is, compared to that, a kingdom radiating like the moon itself. It shines and sparkles, and harbors some of the most beautiful creatures ever to be found. He and his family, as well as everyone else, live in peace with nature down underneath the waves, existing side by side instead of trying to gain the upper hand all the time.

And he's reminded of the cruelty of man, when he finds himself caught in a net.

He's somehow made the fishermen drop it instead of pulling him up on their boat. But that doesn't mean he's free- he's still struggling with it, fighting it, but he cant rip it apart. All he does really, is tie the knots tighter, have them dig into his skin until spots are rubbed raw. He can't really swim anywhere at this point, gives up as he can see the last lights of his distant home fade into the distance.

Jungkook is floating.

He's slowly being led by the waves, by the love of wind and waters, as he closes his eyes. Its a pity, really; for a prince held so high to die by the mere hands of the poor, he thinks. It's upsetting him, very much so, but he takes it as it is. There's nothing he can do anyways, as he slowly comes into contact with the sand below. It washes him up onto short, the dry sand sticking to his body, waves pushing him higher and higher onto the ground.

He shivers, the cold outside air biting at his skin now unsheltered and defenseless.

He doesn't know how long he lays there.

But at some point, steps are heard on the sand. He keeps his eyes closed, doesn't care about what will happen next- he really just wants to have it be over by now, the ropes already painfully burning his skin at certain spots. He's sure theres sand in his wounds as something touches him- warm fingers, hesitant, and almost shy.

He keeps his eyes closed.

"My god, I hate humans.." You mutter under your breath, your voice hitting his ears, making him notice the way it sounds. He thinks it sounds very similar to some of his kind; sirens being blessed with voices sweet and enchanting. Maybe you were one of the strays who had decided to live on the surface for some reason? But your smell was entirely human, although much sweeter and pleasant than anyone he'd met before. And then, after a small short moment of pain-

He's free.

His arms flop to his side, and he breathes in deeply- finally able to fully move again. His eyes open, and adjust to the night for a moment, before they meet yours.

How interesting.

"Jungkook?" Jimin asks him, curious to what has gotten the young Siren so occupied. Typically, Jungkook would be watching the annual kingdom dances with at least some form of interest; even if it was just a glimpse of it, just to make his parents worry less about him misbehaving. But today, as the graceful dancers move around to the orchestra playing, the young prince is absolutely not there. At least not mentally. "Jungkook." The older one scolds, getting Jungkooks attention- his gaze hard and annoyed. "Please, young prince- at least try to pretend you're interested. This is after all part of our culture." He strategically uses his title as teasing- something which makes Jungkook snort without any fun.

"I really don't want to be here." He explains, and Jimin sighs. "I'd rather be at the surface.." He mumbles, being careful not to be too loud- but Jimin does pick it up, and so does his partner, Taehyung, next to him- now leaning a bit forward to hear better.

"Oh?" Jimin asks. "What could be of interest there, I wonder?" He teases, and Jungkook grows even more irritated.

"Nothing that should interest a whore like you." He says harshly, though Jimin knows he means no harm with it. Jimin is, after all, a man who enjoys the simple pleasures in life- which is why he can't quite grasp why Jungkook, a young man in his prime like himself, doesn't seem to care about whats going on around him.

"Hm, but I think she must be absolutely divine if you're willing to risk the wrath of your own mother just to see her." He says, and Taehyung snickers next to him, clearly amused.

But to both of their surprise, Jungkook grows.. calm. Theres even a glimpse of a smile on his lip as he rests his head on his head, elbow on the armrest of his throne. "That she is." He says, quietly, as he watches the young woman in front of him. He has to imagine you there instead, moving oh so gracefully to the sounds of his Kingdom's greatest musicians- dressed in the most beautiful gown he'd gift you. "That she is.." He repeats, a dreaming look on his face that Jimin has not seen before.

Jungkook watches you.

He enjoys watching you on your daily trips to the beach, picking up cans and bottles, and other things people throw away without care. You're cleaning up the beach, and he thinks its a very good behavior- he likes the way you always carefully scan the ground and sides for any garbage. He swims a little closer as he spots you squatting down; eyes lighting up as you pick up a shell he'd personally not care much for. It's slightly pink- but nothing he hasn't seen in his life. They're so common, and he suddenly thinks that if this already makes you happy, what if he was to bring you something else? Something better, something more worth your attention?

He feels a rush of excitement.

Dashing into the opposite direction, he makes his way towards the ground below, eyes scanning the ground as he searches for something. He spots it after a few minutes of searching, but when he holds the pearl, he hesitates.

Its not enough.

No, that's not what you should get. He's only paying back his dept, yeah, that's what he's doing. But what if he was overdoing it by bringing you something too expensive or rare? No, he should be smart about it, yeah. Start small, and work your way up he thinks, as he takes the pearls he's collected while deep in thought, and pushes himself back to the top, swimming easily. He hopes you're still there-

And there you are, dipping your feet into the water.

He looks at what he can see; only able to see clearly underneath the waves rather than above. There's a bracelet hanging around your ankle, and it looks cheap, he thinks. It only helps him by giving him ideas for his next gifts- if you would accept his first, that is. He's never been rejected before, but then again, has always rejected instead. Nothing had interested him to the extend you did. Maybe you really were of his kind, secretly.

When he slowly brings his head up the waves, you don't get scared, or flinch. You simply look, spot him, and smile.

He likes that expression.

He comes closer, free hand helping him onto the stone you sit on, his hand holding your gift eagerly pushing against yours. You understand quickly, and open them, and he smiles. You're smart, he notes, and it only adds to your qualities, he thinks. Dropping the pearls, your eyes sparkle again- as they should, he thinks with pride. You inspect them with big eyes, as if you've never seen something alike. He enjoys your reaction- and you nod at him. "Thank you- are they for me to keep?" You ask, pointing to them, and then at your chest. He's not fully fluent in human language, but has picked up on some words and phrases, since Seokjin had recently strayed- teaching him some stuff whenever he got bored and visited his younger brother.

So Jungkook nods. "You." He says, and you like the sound of his voice; fittingly just as handsome as the rest of him, you think. But then again- his kind is known for its beauty and enchanting voices. "Keep." He tells you, pushing your closed palm a bit closer to your body as if to underline his statement. You think its cute, in a way.

"Okay." You say. "I'll keep them-?" You ask, and he doesn't understand, until you point to yourself, and say a name- yours, he supposes.

"Ah-" He starts, pointing to himself. "Jungkook. Jeon, Jungkook." He tells you, and you nod, smiling.

"It's nice to meet you, Jeon Jungkook." You smile, and he grins back, slightly sharpened canines in stark contrast with his bunny-like smile.

He thinks its nice to meet you too.

"But you're a witch, aren't you?" Jungkook argues, staring at Taehyung. "I thought you were all so capable." He challenges, and Taehyungs eyes darken- quite literally, since sea witches do technically have black eyes- but conceal them, as to not scare off people. He regains his composure however when Jimins hand lays on his shoulder.

"Now now, no need to become huffy." He says. "He didn't say he can't do it- he simply told you that its not that easy." He explains, and Jungkook sighs, rolling his eyes. Ever the spoiled prince, they think to themselves.

"I don't care about that." He states. "Can you do it, or can you not?" He asks, and Taehyung thinks for a moment.

"I.." He begins, before he sighs. "I can. But, there's a catch, Jungkook." He tells him, and this time, the youngest of the group seems just as serious as he listens. "I can't promise that.. the result will be what you will expect." He says.

"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks.

"There's a chance she won't survive it."

He doesn't think much about why you're so often sitting on that rocky structure close to the deep- he likes not having to get out of the water to be close to you. And you think, Jungkook is quite the interesting being.

He’s curious; that much you can tell. His hands rest on your knees, your toes sometimes brushing against his abdomen as he swims closer- face coming forward to properly look at you. His vision must be bad outside of the waters you assume, his brown eyes squinting in concentration until he huffs and let’s himself back into the waters. You chuckle, and simply take off your jacket, slipping into the water as well as you control your breath- his entire face brightening at your body now underwater in his world, finally clear to see for his eyes.

You’re pretty, he thinks, definitely prettier than any other human he’d encountered before. The clothes covering your breasts and private parts a bit dull and boring for his taste- but he’d change that soon. He smiles, happy, before holding up his finger as if to signal for you to wait before he swims away, elegantly and fast. You swim up to breath some air, catch your breath, until there’s a hand around your calf, holding, fingers running over the skin, signaling you to come down again. You follow his question, taking a deep breath to meet him underneath the surface; his excited hands wrapping something around your neck, before he swims in circles as if he’s suddenly got too much energy. You point to yourself, as if to ask if you can keep it- and he nods, wide eyes watching you with a smile that you can’t help but mirror.

You don't quite realize what he's doing.

He however thinks you know. You know that he's courting you, and you're interested in him. You know that he's just given you more than a simple gift. He only believes you're letting him work for it- something he happily does, taking on the challenge as always. He swims closer, holds your shoulders, as his eyes look into yours, his gaze happy and child-like almost. He's close to finally showing you affection- but you suddenly swim to the surface instead.

And even though he knows you only wanted to breathe, he can't help but feel slightly sour at the ruined moment.

"You're awfully happy these days." His mother says, watching her son in the gardens of the palace. "May I ask what has gotten you in such a bright mood?" She asks, and Jungkook doesn't quite know how to break it to her. He knows its not forbidden, knows it has, and does, happen each and every day it seems- but there's still fear inside of him. Theres still hesitation, even though he is not ashamed of what has happened- of what he has done. His mother however notices. "You know you can trust me, right?" She says, and he nods.

Its now or never.

"I've found a mate." He says, and his mother smiles warmly, holding his cheek as she kisses it in congratulation. "Its a human." He says, quietly, hurried- but his mother continues to smile.

"I have suspected as much." She states. "Your friend- Park Jimin- is not very good at talking quietly." She snickers, and Jungkook curses under his breath about how he wants to strangle him. Theres a huge weight lifted off of him however; finally having said it, made it very real to him, in a way- even though it was already.

Because, after all; you were wearing his kingdom's sigil around your neck already. He had claimed you.

He's restless the next time he swims to the shore to meet you again- eager to see you to give you the news of his family's acceptance.

You're late- later than usual, and his brows are furrowed, mood upset at your mannerism. You're usually always on time, always just as eager to see him he thinks- but this time, you're not there. After his anger however, he grows increasingly worried instead. What if something had happened to you instead? Oh what a bad person he would be to be mad at you for getting into an unfortunate situation. As guilt slowly makes his way into his body, claims his muscles, he moves to sit on the stone he usually finds you on. He tries to look around- rain on his skin making it possible to be out way more comfortably.

He spots movement above.

Theres a person he can't make out- throwing something off the cliff down into the sea, and Jungkook clicks his tongue in anger, already upset- but still curious on what it was the person had been so eager to discard. Typically, its tiny things or plastic he finds- but this is something else, he knows.

Underwater, he smells blood.

His pupils contract, eyes widening, as he spots the black bag slowly making its way to the bottom of the sea- red trail leading from it. Its not the blood however that makes him frantic- its the smell of it, of you, that stops his heart.

He gets you out the bag, his anger over the entire situation diminishing into nothing as he holds you close, eyes spotting the deep cut on your side, and the scratches on your face. Unsure where to bring you, he holds you close, brings you onto his back as one of his hands hold yours, your arms around his neck. He swims quickly to the only place he knows you can breathe.

The underwater cave is big enough for now, he thinks, as he brings your body onto the ground, out the water. He doesn't notice he's crying, doesn't quite speak, his native language of clicking sounds and little noises escaping him as he whines out for your attention, waiting for you to wake up somehow. He's been so invested in making you like him and accept him that he's got no idea what to do with a human. Are you cold? How can he warm you up? How does he stop bleeding wounds? How much can you bleed before you die? Are you already dying?

Jungkook doesn't know what to do. So he simply lays by your side, holding you close, in hopes his slightly higher body temperature can keep you warm.

"He's doing the best he can-" Jimin says, Seokjin next to Taehyung as they both lean over your body. Both witches are concentrated, already exhausted, but there's no way they're giving up on you now. Not only because you're important to Jungkook- but because no one deserves to simply die like this.

"I know, I know!" Jungkook huffs out, pupils turned into cat like slits- a clear sign of the absolute terror and chaos inside of him. "What if they're best isn't good enough? Jimin, I can't loose her, you don't understand-" He starts, but Jimin holds the younger one's shoulders, for the first time serious with him.

"I do." He glances at Taehyung. Jimin had saved Taehyung before as well- the young sea witch having been hit by a fisherman's harpoon years ago. Ever since then, Jimin had been attached to the witch like glue. "Trust me, I really do. And they're doing all they can to make sure she's going to be fine." He promises, and Jungkook nods.

All he can do is pray.

When you wake up, there's several things you notice.

First, you're alive. Having a raging headache, and your limbs and muscles feel horribly tender, but you're alive. There's also strings of rope tied to two rock formations acting like a clothing line, several blankets and clothes hanging from it. They don't look human-made to you- the fabrics and designs not something you would think of as regular. There's a bucket and several stained rags- now copper-brown with old blood. Its then that you look down, seeing your cut sewed shut.

You also notice its rather soft underneath you.

Its sheepskin laid over seaweed you notice- the whool soft and fluffy, and warm. Everything seems to be so thoughtfully placed, even some decorative items- you can spot fireflies casually sitting in a jar close by, and burned wood, probably to . Probably to make light during the night. You're tired however, so you simply lay down again. Quite honestly, surely you should fee worried about the situation- but then again, there was no one to miss you, no place you called your home anyways. No use in worrying- because deep down, you had your suspicion.

A Jungkook swims to the surface with the plastic box in his arms, he's careful not to throw it too hard onto the ground. As he steps out the water, he's sure to at least try and his his hands of most the water before he goes to check on the blankets he had brought this early morning. They've dried enough, he notices, and is glad about that, as he picks one up.

You don't have to be cold anymore, he thinks.

He's unnaturally careful for his typical character- his usual behavior quite the opposite as it was now. Now, he's making sure you're properly tucked in, as he notices your eyes watching him.

He freezes, for a moment.

Jungkook hasn't really thought much about what would happen if you were to wake up- after all, Seokjin had told him he was unsure if you were to wake up this early in the first place, and Taehyung didn't even know if you would wake up at all. He'd told his younger brother to be prepared for any reaction really; fear, confusion, maybe even anger. But you seem calm, curious even, and Jungkook decides to sit down in front of your face, waiting.

"You brought me here, right?" You ask, and he nods, eyes not leaving your form.

"You-.. hurt." He points to the spot where your wound had been. "Also hurt." His hand points to your head. "Brothers, helped." He informs you, and you smile, nodding at his words. He suddenly looks at the ground, mumbling. "I.. worried. Thought... you, dying." He tells you, and you sit up slowly again, keeping the blanket around your shoulders.

"I'm not dead though." You say, and he nods. "Thank you, Jungkook. Now we're even." You say, and he tilts his head in confusion- a mannerism you could only think of as cute. "I saved you- you saved me." You say, and he smiles, nodding.

"I-" He starts, leaning forward a bit, now way more energetic and lighthearted as before. "I- we-" He growls a little in frustration, and you cant help but giggle at his troubles- the chirps and clicks escaping him foreign- but somehow, they feel hazy, as if your mind knows the language, but has forgotten what it meant. He's trying so hard you notice, and appreciate. "You like here?" He asks, and points around. You nod, and he beams at you. "I made." He tells you, proudly so.

"I guessed as much. Its very thoughtful of you, thank you." You say, and he nods, happy you like what he did for you. Its not a permanent solution, obviously, but as soon as you're healed well enough, he already planned a new spot for you to come with him.

You just don't know it yet.

There's a weird feeling inside of you.

It's like homesickness, you think. Every time you look at the waters, you feel- sad? It's making you uneasy, and with every day passing by, it just gets worse and worse. But it's today, that you cant take it.

When you dip your legs into the water, it soothes an ache you can't recognize ever having. It helps your skin, it somehow feels as if you're breathing again. But It's not enough, you think- before you let yourself fall into the deep end.

You're floating.

It's like leaving a stuffy and crowded mall, just to stand in a park, fresh air after it had rained, and light breeze clearing your head. Everything is silent, but not at the same time- the water around you feeling as if you're being hugged, held. It makes you relax, makes you let go, makes you only exist for a moment.

You're floating.

And there's a sudden wave of realization that you're also breathing. There's no water in your lungs- or maybe there is, and you just don't feel it being there. Darkness surrounds you as you don't know where you are exactly- theres no telling where is where, no way to know if you're upright or not. Maybe you've died?

Did you drown?

If you did, it would explain Jungkook being there. He's swimming towards you with a face full of worry, as he grabs your wrist and holds you close. "I can't even let you out of my sight for a mere day it seems, my love." He sighs, and your eyes widen. Its almost comedic how his own do the same, focusing on your neck, as he touches.

You're sensitive, and shift away from his touch.

"It-" He starts, now holding your shoulders, as he begins to smile. "It worked! It really did- by the dragon kind, you look absolutely divine!" He laughs, and can't help but hold your hands, eyes roaming your appearance, as you don't quite get it- until you follow his gaze.

Just like him, there's fins now on the sides of your calfs, smaller ones on your ankles as well. Theres also ones decorating your outer forearms- they look like the ones you'd always see on goldfish as a kid. There's something alike to scales as well, but barely noticable. "I- what happened to me?" You ask, and Junkook smiles.

"You.. almost died." He admits, taking your hand and swimming to what you assume is back towards the cave. "You had been robbed during the day, and when I found you.. well, you know what happened." He says. "While you were asleep, we were thinking about what to do. There was no way you would survive as a human- so, a friend of mine- Taehyung- performed a ritual, together with Seokjin, my brother." He says. You finally spot light, glad to be able to have at least some form of orientation. "I'm glad you're adjusting so quickly, my love." He states, smiling at you.

You notice the petname again.

"Jungkook-" You start, as you both reach the cave again, sitting on the edge of where the ground of the cave meets the water. "Why are you.. calling me that?" You ask, and Jungkook seems confused.

"Why do you ask?" He questions. And you don't quite follow, until he continues. "You're my mate- I am only addressing you as such."

Your eyes widen. "Wait- we're-" You start, and its only then that it clicks in Jungkooks head.

"Oh." He says- the dissapointment bitter and evident in his voice. "You.. didn't know?" He asks, and you shake your head, unsure what he means. "I see.." He tells you, suddenly distant. "I.. will bring you breakfast tomorrow.. sleep well." He abruptly says, and before you can say anything, he's already gone.

What just happened?

"There you are!" A voice says, deeper than Jungkooks, but not unfamiliar. Taehyung had been visiting and bringing you food and nescessities ever since that talk with Jungkook. This time, however, Taehyung seems like he wants to say something. You look at him, silently urging him, and he sits down next to you, sighing.

"Does he hate me?" You ask, quietly, and Taehyung looks sad.

"He could never." He says. "He just.. didn't take the rejection well. He'll need time to come around. It won't take that much time- his mother is already trying to get a new partner for him." He explains, and your head whips around towards him. "I- you.. did reject him, right?" He asks, slowly. "You do.. not love him, right?" He urges again, and you groan suddenly, throwing your face into your hands.

"Oh my god I'm so stupid.." You say. "It all.. everything was so overwhelming, I didn't even notice what he was doing." You cry into your hands, as Taehyungs hand places itself onto your back, trying to soothe you. "I though.. especially after I found out about his status.." You mumble. "How could he want me?" You ask, and Taehyung sighs.

"Head up, little siren." He says. "He's still able to hear you sing, if you want to." He says, and you look at him.

"But how?" You say. "I have no idea where the kingdom, or anything really is. And he won't come see me until its too late." You say.

"Well-" Taehyung says, standing up, and holding out his hand. "-allow me to escort the future princess to her lover."

"How did you find me?" He simply asks, not turning around, as you float closer. "I'm sorry, but I still need time to.. get over-" He starts, but you don't let him finish, instead leaning into his back, your arms around his middle.

"I'm stupid." You say. "I'm really, really stupid." He shakes his head, but you continue. "Just because I didn't realize- doesn't mean that I don't feel anything for you." You say. "I just.. felt unworthy, I guess. Insignificant." You admit, and he turns around, holding your face in his hands.

"You really are not gifted with the mind of the dragons king, my love." He states teasingly, the glimmer in his eyes returning. "My status means nothing to me, if that meant I could not have you." He says, and you lean forward, capturing his lips. "I hope you know what this meant, at least." He teases, and your eyes widen, scared you might've done something wrong. "It means you love me." He says, and you chuckle.

"Good." You say. "Because I do."

Even though he thinks you looked like a goddess reborn in your white and pearl decorated gown from the wedding, he enjoys you without it, close to him, just as much. He's alive, he's feeling, he's in love, as his hands move over your skin, his senses filled with you and nothing else.

The sounds you make for him are sweeter than any siren's song he's ever heard or could ever sing himself. No member of his kind is as enchanting as you, he decides, as he bites and kisses the sensitive skin of your neck. Jimin had teased him relentlessly the entire evening and night by trying to send you sweet words, to which you didn't react- but that didn't mean that it didn't piss him off.

You were his.

His princess- and soon to be queen, one day.

And he's planning on making that very evident, as he marks up your skin with little bites, visible for everyone to see. He wants everyone to know, even though by tomorrow, the entire Kingdom will celebrate the marriage of its prince anyways. He's more than ready to show you off, to hold you close, to have people see the divine being at his side that's you.

It's only natural for his hands to roam your skin, for his lips to worhip every inch it seems, as you reach out for his hand every second it leaves you. It's painfully endearing he thinks, how you can be so innocent and pure, while he's between your legs, performing the sinful act of pleasuring you with his mouth.

You pull him towards you, as you straddle his waist, leaning down to kiss him. He's in god's divine lands he thinks, as he suddenly feels you sinking down on his awaiting length. You fit around him perfectly, more so than he could've ever imagined. And as you both move, he holds you close, happy that here, in his world, he doesn't need to breathe.

He can kiss you as long as he wants.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. I spilled strawberry milk on my poor laptop while writing this.

[yuxatengri]

Don't know if there is any use in writing all this, but speaking my mind? Why not? Maybe someone decides to discuss.

I know that it's difficult to disown someone as their fan. I know that itchy emptiness in the stomach when you find out that they did something wrong. For a lot of fans it's not really putting them on a pedestal as much as blindly loving them, having that hormone explosion of adoring that people usually have towards crushes that sugarcoats their image. They do realize that this person, usually man, is not going to fuck them. But he is their comfort person. I'm lucky that Seb wasn't my crush already.

But why all of you like these people so much... one of the main reasons is because they're such a sweet, good person, right? So even if you like them so much, just stop for a moment, and thank what you would have felt if you were a person of color. Think about how it is to realize that the person you adore is disrespectful towards your kind. Including you. At the time when that kind of treatment ends into murdering people. Even if you don't understand the harm that it brings, people are allowed to be insecure and uncomfortable with what is about them. And allowed to talk about it. I mean, usually we have no problem in realizing that someone is a bad a person, when it comes to other personality traits. Why is it so difficult at this time?

But yes, Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone, right? That's the other side of adoration of sugar-coated crushes - we forget that they're also human beings and are flawed as literally anyone and they can and will make mistakes. That's a normal thing you should be ready for. As well as it's totally normal to point out people's mistakes and tell them if they're doing something wrong you're not comfortable with.

I agree, cancel culture is shit. But the whole point is that "We're all flawed", "Learn to forgive" and "Give them a space to grow" works as an excuse only when people are growing, when they realize what was their mistake and do everything not to do it again. While in the case with Seb... well, these mistakes and accidents repeat, so it doesn't look like he learned something. A lot of people don't want him to delete his media, or stop being an actor, or die, or whatever. They just want to point the mistake and maybe even hope that he'll listen and maybe change.

So please, stop attacking people, especially people of color, who talk about this issue.

In this case my personal question is... what's next? What are we going to do about it? It could've been good and maybe could've worked out if a huge number of people called out. Adequately I mean, without death threats. Idk why some people think that's helpful. But as usually most of fans will just get defensive. Personally it's kinda ironic how almost everyone I see in the fandom is all #BLM!!! until it comes to their celebrity crushes. I don't want to mock them as many do, but that is a hypocrisy. Being able to put justice prior to your comfort is what actual care for any kind of social justice is. No, I'm not saying that you should hate Seb, I'm saying that you should listen to people when they say that something is harmful and do something. Even if you don't like it.

As to me, I'm just deeply disappointed. Disappointed in fandom as well.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Will The Chosen get into what Jesus could have thought about gay people? Did gay people approach Jesus asking Him to perform marriage ceremonies? Did people suffering from gender dysphoria ask Jesus to use His power to change their gender?

I doubt that the Chosen will tackle topics like that, since because of how much attention is given to conversations about those subjects, it's likely that any attempt to touch on it would take the show's focus (and what people take from the show) away from what it should be: the Gospel, and Yeshua Himself.

As to the historical aspect, it's pretty certain that no gay person would have asked Yeshua to perform a marriage ceremony. Homosexuality was a capital offense at the time (along with a host of other things, such as adultery--more on that later), so it would have been incredibly dangerous to admit to openly practicing it. Additionally, because ancient Jewish marriage was a much larger endeavor than marriage today, this would have been practically impossible: the first stage of the marriage ceremony began a year prior to the final feast and consummation, and the families of both parties were deeply involved. Basically, it would have taken much more than just Yeshua's approval to facilitate any marriage! (As an aside, many of the rich traditions in these ancient ceremonies are carried on in modern Jewish weddings. Some really cool stuff!)

That being said, what we do know is that Yeshua sought out the lowly, the outcasts, and those who suffered; it's quite possible, then, that He did meet someone struggling with their gender or sexuality and the way those things affected their life, and perhaps some of them did seek Him out for advice or help.

As to how He would have responded or what He thought about these people: while I won't speculate as to what He would have said or done, I know Yeshua always spoke and acted with the perfect balance of grace and truth. Probably the best example of his approach to difficult matters like this is found in John 8:2-11:

At daybreak, He appeared again in the Temple Court, where all the people gathered around Him, and He sat down to teach them. The Torah-teachers and the P’rushim [Pharisees] brought in a woman who had been caught committing adultery and made her stand in the center of the group. Then they said to him, “Rabbi, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in our Torah, Moshe commanded that such a woman be stoned to death. What do you say about it?” They said this to trap him, so that they might have ground for bringing charges against him; but Yeshua bent down and began writing in the dust with his finger. When they kept questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “The one of you who is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then he bent down and wrote in the dust again. On hearing this, they began to leave, one by one, the older ones first, until he was left alone, with the woman still there. Standing up, Yeshua said to her, “Where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, sir.” Yeshua said, “Neither do I condemn you. Now go, and don’t sin any more.” - John 8:2-11

There's a lot we can learn from this passage, but most of all we are shown that our God is a loving and merciful God who cares for us when others, or even society as a whole, do not, and He will guide us to the right path to enable us to live a life honoring to Him. That love that He showed to the woman in the passage above is the same love He showed to everyone--and can show to us today! You and I can personally experience His love, and your own interaction with God will be much more valuable than anything I can hypothesize about :)

[vogueinnie]

HEAVEN OR HELL ; part. 1 TEASER - PART 1 - PART 2 - (...)

        ━ WARNINGS ; demon!hyunjin, virgin fem!reader

if you feel uncomfortable with the mentions of religion, please don’t read this story cause there are a lot blasphem, mentions of Lucifer and Mammon (Lucifer’s son)

sex in a public place with people around (!!!), boots riding and boot licking, corruption kink, fear kink, humiliation (and not only in a sexual way), mention of animals hunting, reader is leashed, pet name (angel), manipulation, devilish creatures

this story will contains a lot of filthy and dirty things, the warnings are here to prevent you from anything that can trigger you. so please consider them carefully.

      ━ WORD COUNT ; 2.5k       ━ NOTE ; here is the first part of my first ever serie! feedback are so welcomed so feel free to tell me anything about this story.

Since the end of time there were two worlds. Heaven and Hell. Humans fought over which world they would belong to for the rest of their lives. The good was offered the place of angels while the worst was going to be demons.

Luckily, you’ve always been good during your lifetime. You weren’t surprised when the paradise’s gates were all open for you. As an angel, your face has the softest features, most beautiful hair, and even your aura was a pretty pale pink tone. The purest one.

The Ladybug Garden. Your favorite Heaven’s place. It was the most peaceful garden, a place where you walked in every morning. The sun was shining, as usual, the grass was a bright green and all the flowers were colorful. You jump happily in the air, your bare feet stroking the grass every time you touched the ground. You laugh softly, feeling dumb for a moment to play alone in the middle of all this flora. But you were happy, truly happy to be here. And knowing that you’ll be there forever was comforting enough to make you even more overexcited.

You heard a sound behind a tree so, curious, you approach slowly to finally see one of your angelic friends splaying with a cute white bunny.

“Felix ! I didn’t know you were here.” The boy called Felix turns around with a big smile to wave his hand at you. He was so beautiful, his eyes were beautiful shades of light brown, his lips were as pink as a rose, his hair white, and his beautiful skin was dotted with almost glittery freckled. You’ve met years ago here, and since then you were inseparable.

You barely have time to join him that Seungmin interrupted the both of you.

And let’s say, his coming is never for good reasons.

Seungmin doesn’t belong to either of the two worlds. He’s not an angel, nor a demon. He’s what we call the neutrals. Only here for the needs of both worlds. Heaven and Hell have only one rule in common ; If one of their residents is doomed, then they must be replaced by a person from the opposite world. It’s the only way to balance the loss. And that’s probably why Seungmin is here today, cause he never comes for pleasure.

“Hey, Seungmin… Is everything ok ?” Felix asked, a little bit concerned.

“Y/N you need to come with me.”

You look at him blankly, your lower lip starts to tremble a little, you exactly know what it means. You’re the angel chosen to go to Hell to offset the loss of a demon. How was it possible ? You’ve always been good to anyone. Everyone loved you. Everyone trusted you. You knew the rule, and you’d never dare to disrespect it, but you were so confused. Spending all this time in paradise, with all of your friends to finally end your life in the hands of a devilish creature.

And you know the only way to go back to Heaven was to soften a demon’s soul, but no one was able to do that until now. You were helpless, discouraged.

—————————————☠︎︎ —————————————

You were in front of the Hell’s gates. They were dark and gigantic. It was frightening, the chills ran unpleasantly through your body, even your mind was in an awful state. Along with Seungmin, you start to walk through the alley and the first thing that strikes you is the heat you can feel. It was so unpleasant that you felt suffocating with each step. Everything was so dim around you, the only lights were the burning flame on the side. The smells of it even made you want to throw up.

Faster than you would have thought, you ended up arriving in what you suppose to be the main room. It was… disturbing how every detail was beautiful. From the grey stone walls to the delicate stained glasses, passing by the big red carpet under your feet leading to the one who ran this world.

Everyone was looking at you. And they were a lot of… people. Some of them were scary enough for you to no look at them. Red eyes, pointy teeth, almost translucent skin, huge black feather wings… Are they the ones you are going to have to live with ?

Three thrones were in front of you, and in the center of it was your Father’s son, the fallen angel, Lucifer. He was sitting proudly on his, you have to admit, beautiful golden throne. His black crown was setting perfectly on his long silver hair and his dark eyes were all on you, looking at you insistently. As the protocol obliges you, you kneel down in front of him, he was the king after all. The King of his own world. You owe him nothing but respect. You can hear him laugh, clapping in his hands as his voice rises through the walls, creating a frightening echo.

“Angel, angel look at me. You did as told. Welcome to your new…paradise, all the creepy devilish creatures laugh at his pitiful joke but stop the moment he raises his hand in the air. I knew my dearest Father was hiding all of the most beautiful angels from me. But first ! Let me introduce yourself to my own creation, my blood, my pride, my son… Mammon.”

Without noticing it at first you perceive that a tall long black-haired boy was sitting on a throne on his left. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, it was surreal how he was beautiful. His pale and perfect skin was almost shinning in the dark, his almond-like eyes were as obscure as this place, his nose was straight leading to his plump crimson lips. His face was deadpan. He was dressed in a black suit, which is not surprising for a demon, he wore leather gloves on his hands and black chunky boots. Chains were all over his body like jewelry and you come out of your mind when he asks you to come near him with only two fingers.

Again, you did as told. Not only cause you were afraid, but cause you strangely wanted to.

It was like he was controlling your body with only his pierced gaze. You approach him slowly, feeling ridiculous in your long white dress decorated with colorful butterflies with all the hungry eyes looking at you behind your back. You kneel in front of him too, breathing slowly just to try to control your rising and inevitable anxiety. You feel his two leather-like fingers lifting up your chin and you gulp at the sight of his face so close to yours.

He was analyzing you, scanning every little specific of your pretty face, turning your head slowly from right to left to not miss any details.

“Sit down.” His voice was soft yet strict. You were confused, as long as you were already kneeling. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and your expression must amuse him cause you can see a slight smile drawn on his lips. He points his boots with his chin, leaning his back on his thrown lazily. “Ride them.”

Your mind went blank. What was he asking you, specifically? You looked at him, scared and confused, not moving an inch cause you didn’t know what to do. And you didn’t want to make him angry. But the strange feeling in your stomach was pleasant and weird at the same time.

He grabs your hair, your face approaching dangerously to his knees. He whispers so only you can hear his humiliating word.

“Make yourself cum on my boots. If you don’t do it then I’ll give you as a meal to the raging dogs. You smell good, they’re gonna love your blood, angel.”

You almost forgot how demons love to live in sin. It was scary enough to make you submit. But the worst part was probably the fact that, while looking at him in his eyes, you wanted to sin to make him proud of you. You wanted to see the oh-so-little smile on his porcelain face again.

His eyes never left yours and with your shaking body you place your two legs on either side of one of his, sitting on one of his big black boots. The material was so cold against your naked inner thighs but the sensation was magnificent. You could see him smile as he keeps on tightening your hair around his gloved hand. But you wouldn’t complain, feeling his grip was probably the only thing that can make you still feel alive in this world of debauchery. The position you were in was so uncomfortable when you start to move against his leg but your eyes went big as your cheeks went red. What was that little thing burning inside your core ? Why was it even dripping ? You wanted more of this delicious friction.

Keeping eye contact with him was surprisingly reassuring for you. Slowly, you start to grind against his boot, but focusing on him became more and more difficult with the new sensations you were feeling. A little squirm escapes your mouth, chasing after your own pleasure as you bounce against his shoes to feel the more pleasure as possible. You didn’t know what makes you do that dirty thing, but you did. It was unbelievably pleasuring. Your mind went dizzy, everything around you starts to spin and you can even feel some sweat drops running in your neck.

You wanted his dark gaze to keep looking at you, and only you. You loved the way he pats your head, smiling fondly at your pathetic figure as the unknown knot in your stomach felt like a burning mishmash of nothing but pure pleasure.

“You’ve made a real mess, angel.”

You come down from your cloud when you hear his voice, and that’s the moment you realized what just happened. Your eyes flutter and you can feel your cheek heating your skin as you’re turning your head to be sure that you’ve just ridiculed yourself and you came to the conclusion that yes… You just did.

You return your attention to him and you big round glossy eyes made him smile. A real smile, that time. It was probably fun for him to know that someone from Heaven just did… That.

“You need to clean it, I really hate dirty things.”

You were about to grab the bottom of you dress but he clicks his tongue, making you wince. His thumb found your bottom lips and he strokes it slowly, making you open your mouth like an automatism. Again, he shows you what you have to do only with his gaze.

And you melt. You were totally aware of your actions. Not only you wanted to make him proud, but you also wanted to see his dilated pupils with nothing but that special star in it.

You bow your head at the level of the boot you dirtied and your tongue starts to lick the material, making you taste your own juice. It was like a little voice in your head was asking you to do all these dirty things. But no, let’s be honest, the only reason why you’ve done that is because of Mammon. It was scary enough for you to realize that you wanted it. You felt like you needed to do it.

“I want her.”

Everyone was looking at you hungrily, all the dark eyes were on your back, examining every move you made with a grin. Panicked, you get up suddenly but your shaking legs couldn’t support your body, making you fall on your knees, again, in front of Mammon.

They were mocking you, and that’s the only reason why you felt ashamed. Otherwise, you would have only felt guilty to not be ashamed.

You hadn’t spent an hour in Hell that you were already under the influence of the Fallen Angel’s son. That’s why this place was too dangerous for angels. You were too naive, kind, easily impressionable, and weak to live in a world made of nothing but manipulative creatures.

Lucifer laughs hysterically and all his others creatures did the same. The sound was horrific, scary, the one who wasn’t moving was this beautiful boy that just humiliated you for his own pleasure. He stands up slowly and you can see how tall he looks above you. He holds out his hand to a servant, a boy who seemed pretty young, who rushes to slip an object in it. You can feel a cold metal circling your delicate neck, and you understand that he wrapped a leash around your throat.

They applause loudly and your owner pulls on the leash so you try to stand up for the second time but he shakes his head with a grin.

“Hm, hm. Walk on four legs. The leash isn’t here for nothing.”

You open your mouth but the back of his hand stroke your cheek, again, in the softest way ever. The unpleasant leather material contrasts with the sweetness of his gesture. And you decide to follow him without saying a word.

Under the waves of laughter of the demonic audience, you both leave the room. The younger boy was following you as little whimpers were escaping your mouth due to the pain you were feeling. Your knees were crawling on the ground as Mammon leads you to what you supposed to be his room.

Once you were in it you took your time to observe the room. Unsurprisingly, it was obscure. The walls were painted black, the furnitures were black, the sheets were black. Even the big beautiful chandelier was black, but yet so luminous that it makes everything harmonious. You can even see a black porcelain bathtub in the corner of the room, facing up a huge mirror.

You stay still on the ground but you can see the black-haired boy sitting on his mattress, in front of you. The other boy is still behind you, as if he was watching you so you can’t run away.

“So, what brings you here, angel ?” The demon whispers, his magnetic voice enveloping your spine with countless chills.

“I… I didn’t do anything wrong ! I haven’t been banned from the Heavens ! I… You sigh, looking down while tears could easily be spotted in the corner of your eyes. I was chosen for, you know… The balance of both worlds, Sir.”

You can hear his hums, crossing his legs in the most elegant way. An almost invisible smile was on his lips, again.

“You know you won’t be able to go back to your beloved place, don’t you ? Unless you make me fall for you which is… His laugh was loud enough to dissuade you, well… Impossible.”

The way his voice was suddenly cold scared you. Maybe that stupid rule was only here to allow the angels to keep hope. Even tho everyone knows it was already hopeless for them.

“What’s your name ?” His voice had become soft again and he starts to take off his leather gloves so you can see his beautiful long fingers. His nails were painted in black and he wears no less than ten rings.

“I’m… I’m Y/N, Sir.” You can see him nod, rubbing his hands slowly between them.

“You can call me Hyunjin when it’s only the two of us. Now that you’re mine you know that we have to be intimate, am I wrong ?”

You didn’t know what it really means but you nod. Of course, you’ve heard that in Hell, creatures love to do weird and, well… evil things. They were as wild as the animals. And of course, you couldn’t forget about that rumor that said that they hunt animals for their own pleasure. Or that other rumor saying that sex is an integral part of their lives. You shake your head just thinking about that and that’s when you realize that Hyunjin was standing in front of you with the creepiest smile.

“You’ll be there with me. For the eternity, angel.”

Despite the fact that the whole situation was surreal for you, the fact that Mammon, or Hyunjin, was being what is akin to kindness to you seem… Utterly wrong. Why was he even nice ? And why were his eyes abnormally and horrifically black suddenly ?

—————————————☠︎︎ —————————————

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[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

27th March >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on John 8:1-11 for Monday, Fifth Week of Lent: ‘Neither do I condemn you’.

Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

Gospel (Except USA)

John 8:1-11

'Let the one among you who has not sinned be the first to throw a stone'.

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At daybreak he appeared in the Temple again; and as all the people came to him, he sat down and began to teach them.

   The scribes and Pharisees brought a woman along who had been caught committing adultery; and making her stand there in full view of everybody, they said to Jesus, ‘Master, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery, and Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this to death by stoning. What have you to say?’ They asked him this as a test, looking for something to use against him. But Jesus bent down and started writing on the ground with his finger. As they persisted with their question, he looked up and said, ‘If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Then he bent down and wrote on the ground again. When they heard this they went away one by one, beginning with the eldest, until Jesus was left alone with the woman, who remained standing there. He looked up and said, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, sir’ she replied. ‘Neither do I condemn you,’ said Jesus ‘go away, and do not sin any more.’

Gospel (USA)

John 8:1-11

Let the person without sin be the first to throw a stone.

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle. They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, “No one, sir.” Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”

Reflections (9)

(i) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The gospels often show the religious leaders putting Jesus to the test with some trick question, hoping to catch him out. We have an example of this in today’s gospel reading. However, on this occasion the question involves the humiliation of a woman. They drag her before Jesus and ask him whether the letter of the Jewish Law should be followed through in her regard, which would have involved death by stoning. If Jesus had said ‘no’ to the question, he could be accused of being a law breaker. If he said ‘yes’ his reputation as a merciful friend of sinners would have been fatally damaged. The religious leaders were using the woman as bait to catch Jesus out. It was Jesus they had in their sights not the woman. The woman was just being used by them to trap Jesus. In so doing, they were showing profound disrespect for her. In contrast, Jesus treated her with the utmost respect. He reminded the religious leaders that if she had sinned, they too had sinned and were sinning by bringing her to him in this way. He went on to assure the woman that he was not condemning her, God was not condemning her. He then called her to live in a way that was more in keeping with her dignity as a daughter of Abraham and the beloved of God, ‘Go away, and don’t sin any more’. God did not send Jesus into the world to condemn. As this gospel of John had already declared, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. God sent his Son that we may life and have it to the full. Our calling is to make present, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the non-judgemental, life-giving presence of God’s love. The Lord has the utmost respect for each one of us, regardless of our past failings, and we are called to relate to one another in the same way.

And/Or

(ii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

In the gospel reading the Pharisees who brought an adulterous woman to Jesus were suggesting a simple answer to her moral failure. Condemn her to death by stoning. The gospel reading also makes clear that this was not Jesus’ way of dealing with moral failure. He understood that the situation was far more complex that the Pharisee’s crude and simplistic solution allowed for. The men who brought the woman to Jesus saw her only in terms of her immediate past. Jesus’ way of looking at her was far more generous; he saw the whole picture of her life, not just one little bit of it. Seeing the whole picture of her life, he also saw that she had a future, a future that those who brought her to Jesus would have denied her. When the Lord looks at us he sees the whole picture too; he does not become obsessed with one or two details of the picture. He hears the full story of our lives, not just a couple of lines of our story. The Lord knows that our story is unfinished, and will only be complete when he himself comes to transfigure our lowly bodies into copies of his glorious body.

 And/Or

(iii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The religious leaders who brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught committing adultery seem to have had a very black and white view of things. As far as they were concerned, they were good and she was bad. Furthermore, the bad needed to be eliminated to protect the good - they reminded Jesus that death by stoning was what the Jewish Law prescribed. Jesus was reluctant to engage these men in conversation at all, but when he did speak, his brief comment cut through their primitive analysis, and showed it up in all its inadequacy, ‘let him who is without sin cast the first stone’. Jesus was reminding them that the sin which they so despised in the woman was alive and well in themselves. When they pointed one finger at her, three fingers were pointing back at themselves. They could not look at her without looking at themselves, and if they looked honestly at themselves their attitude to the woman would have to change. Jesus did not deny that the woman had sinned, but he strongly denied that her sin made her any different from anyone else, including those who were so sure of their own virtue. The gospel reading reminds us that we all come before the Lord as sinners, but it assures us that when we bring our sin to the Lord we will not hear a word of condemnation. Instead we will hear a word of forgiveness and an invitation to something better: ‘I do not condemn you; go away and don’t sin any more’.

 And/Or

(iv) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

It is clear from this morning’s gospel reading that the religious leaders are very much in the business of condemning. They bring a woman to Jesus expecting him to condemn her, because, as they say, ‘Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this’. Earlier in his gospel, the fourth evangelist had placed a very striking saying on the lips of Jesus, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. Jesus did not come to condemn the world but so that it might have life and have it to the full. When Jesus asked the woman the question, ‘Has no one condemned you?’ he immediately declared, ‘Neither do I condemn you’. He gently reminded those who were quick to condemn her that they too were sinners. We all have something to repent of. To all of us Jesus says what he says to the woman, ‘go away and don’t sin any more’. The Lord does not condemn us but, in his love for us, he calls us beyond where we are; he continually invites us into a greater light and a fuller life.

 And/Or

(v) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery is one of those gospel stories that we find ourselves drawn to. The portrayal of Jesus in the story is one that we that stays with us. We are struck by the contrast between the way the scribes and the Pharisees relate to the woman and the way that Jesus relates to her. The religious leaders have condemned her of a serious breach of the Jewish Law, one that is worthy of the prescribed punishment, death by stoning. Jesus, however, refuses to condemn her; ‘I do not condemn you’. As the evangelist, John, says a little earlier in his gospel, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. Rather than condemning her, Jesus pardons her and calls her to a way of life more in keeping with God’s purpose for her life. We may not have sinned in the way the woman sinned, but we are all sinners. We all come before the Lord as people who have not lived in accordance with God’s will and purpose for our lives. The reading assures us that when we come before the Lord in our sinfulness, we will not hear a word of condemnation, but a word of forgiveness. ‘I do not condemn you’, and also an invitation, ‘Do not sin anymore’. Condemnation comes easily to human nature. Thankfully, it is not in the nature of Jesus or of the God whom he reveals.

 And/Or

(vi) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

The men who brought the woman to Jesus saw her only in terms of her immediate past, while being blind to their own past. Jesus’ way of looking at her was very different; he saw the whole picture of her life, not just one little bit of it. Seeing the whole picture of her life, he also saw that she had a future as well as a past, a future that those who brought her to him would have denied her. When the Lord looks at us he sees the whole picture too; he does not become obsessed with one or two dark details of the picture. The Lord is attentive to the full story of our lives, not just to a couple of lines of that story. He also knows that the story of our lives is always an unfinished story. It is the Lord himself who will endeavour to write the final chapter of that story when, in the words of Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he will come from heaven to transfigure our lowly bodies into copies of his own glorious body. Speaking through the prophet Jeremiah, the Lord says, ‘I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future full of hope’. The Lord offered the woman, and offers all of us, a ‘future full of hope’. He can offer us such a future because, again in the words of Paul, ‘his power at work within is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine’.

 And/Or

(vii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

There are three characters in this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus, the woman and a group of male experts in the Jewish Law. The group of men brought the woman to Jesus to test him. They were using her against him. It was Jesus who was in their sights rather than the woman whom they claimed was caught in the act of adultery. They were of the view that if Jesus was to be faithful to God’s Law, he should condemn the woman. If he didn’t condemn her it would confirm their view of Jesus as someone who broke God’s Law and was, therefore, a sinner. Jesus did not fall into their trap. He gave himself time by writing distractingly on the ground with his finger. When the group persisted, Jesus issued that striking challenge, ‘if there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her’. They had brought the woman to Jesus as a sinner; they were of the view that Jesus himself was a sinner. Now Jesus faces them with the reality of their own sin. Their walking away was their acknowledgement that there was no one among them who had not sinned. We are all sinners; we just sin in different ways. We can never set ourselves up as the moral superior of others. Jesus did not condemn the woman. Yet, he did call her to live in a new way, ‘go away, and don’t sin any more’. Earlier in John’s gospel, Jesus said, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. The Lord’s instinct is not to condemn but to call us and empower us to take a path which will lead us to a share in God’s own life, both now in this earthly life and in eternity.

 And/Or

(viii) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

We all have to deal with human weakness and moral failure both in ourselves and in others. The gospel reading raises the question as to how moral failure is to be dealt with. The religious authorities who bring the woman to Jesus deal in the currency of condemnation when it comes to moral failure. They invoke the authority of the Jewish Law which condemns the act of adultery. They test Jesus to see whether he will go along with the Jewish Law in this matter, thereby undermining his reputation for mercy, or whether he will reject the Jewish Law, thereby showing himself to be in defiance of God’s Law. Jesus’ enigmatic response, bending down to write on the ground, shows that he refuses to engage with this situation in the terms put to him by the religious authorities. Jesus’ concern is not whether or not the woman is deserving of condemnation, but rather that she be free for a new life that reflects God’s desire for her. Jesus’ searing proposition to the woman’s accusers, ‘If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her’, stops the woman’s accusers in their tracts. Jesus is the only one who is without sin, and he is not in the business of condemning the woman. Who are sinners like the woman’s accusers to do so? Once the accusing men have slunk away, Jesus looks directly at the woman for the first time and addresses her personally. Jesus’ declaration to her that he does not condemn her and his call to her to go away and sin no more show that his entire concern is to rescue her from her terrible plight and set her free for a new direction of life. None of us is without sin. Yet, the Lord is not in the business of condemning us for our many failings. His primary desire is that we live in a way that is worthy of our dignity as sons and daughters of God. He came to show us the way that will be truly life-giving for ourselves and for others and to empower us to follow that way and to keep returning to it after we have failed.

And/Or

 (ix) Monday, Fifth Week of Lent

Earlier in this fourth gospel, Jesus had said to Nicodemus, ‘God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him’. In today’s gospel reading, people bring a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus, expecting him to condemn her, ‘Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this… What have you to say?’ It was a kind of a trap for Jesus. If he went against Moses, he could be accused of breaking God’s Law. If he followed Moses, he would lose his reputation as a friend of sinners. The best way of dealing with a trap is to sidestep it, and that perhaps is what Jesus was doing by writing on the ground with his finger in silence. He was buying time. Yet, when those who brought the woman persisted with their question, he finally had to break his silence. He did so in a way which took attention away from the woman and place it on her accusers, ‘If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her’. Jesus was reminding the woman’s accusers that they too were sinners. Jesus did just enough by this question to get her accusers to leave her alone. When Jesus is alone with the woman, he doesn’t condemn her, ‘Neither do I condemn you’, but he does call her to a way of life more in keeping with God’s desire for her, ‘go away, and don’t sin any more’. This gospel passage is a study in how the Lord relates to us all. He loves us as we are and never stands before us as one who condemns. Yet, his love for us will always call us beyond where we are towards becoming more fully the person God desires us to be. God desires us to grow into the person of his Son, to become as loving as he is, and God keeps giving us the Holy Spirit to help us to become this person he desires us to be. This journey of becoming is one we will all be travelling until the end of our lives.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Could you write something based on this prompt Dick x reader! villain "I hope we never get to see each other again."

Dangerous People

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Nightwing x Reader

Warnings: Sexual assault and miscarriage. Extremely sensitive themes here, please don't read if you are triggered by such topics.

Word Count: 1.8K

Dick used to think the most dangerous people were the ones who had no morals. The people who did the dirtiest of things and had no way of redemption because there's a piece of stone where their heart should be.

He had seen it a million times over when he was Robin and then Nightwing. It had been that kind of person who took away his parents and he would learn it was the very same kind that took yours.

Detective Grayson met you one rainy night in November when you were brought into the police station in Bludhaven, cold and shivering. Tears were pouring down your face and you looked sick.

He would later come to find that night that your parents were killed by a man named Black. You told him all that you could, insisting that it was him and that they should arrest him.

As much as Dick wanted to, he couldn't just pick up a man and put him behind bars, not without evidence. Although he did promise that he would try his best to put him away. Dick could see the comfort that his words brought you.

The night he met you was also the night he slept with you. Not sex. Just sleep.

He had offered to drive you back home but you just shook your head in tears, saying that you couldn't go back home where your parents had just been murdered. And that you didn't have any money to stay at a hotel.

It was no secret that Dick had a bleeding heart, so when he saw your red and puffy eyes staring up at him, he quickly offered up his apartment for you to sleep in that night.

He took you home, and made you take a nice, hot shower before bundling you up in his spare clothes and letting you take the bed.

You repaid him the next morning by cooking him breakfast.

Thus, began the start of a beautiful relationship.

You panted, breath stuttering in your chest as Dick trailed kisses down your neck. Your fingers were carding through his hair, twitching and tugging at the roots every time his teeth grazed your sweet spot.

He held your hips to his body with a tight grip. He met your lips again with an open-mouthed kiss that swallowed your moans when his hands cupped your chest.

"I'm crazy about you..." Dick whispered underneath his breath when you cupped his cheeks. Your eyes fluttered open to see him watching you with deep blue eyes. You knew what he wanted to say, you felt it.

You kissed him again, slow and soft, conveying everything you could possibly be feeling.

"I love you too."

Falling for you made Dick want to capture Black even more. He knew of the kind of trauma that followed you throughout your life unless you got the closure you needed, so he poured his heart out into finding the man who robbed you of your family in one night.

But he was good, scary good. There was no evidence. No fingerprints, no DNA samples. No witnesses, other than you. But that wasn't enough.

He had known just how to avoid all the cameras and had left the weapon at the scene of the crime, a knife from your kitchen.

Dick felt helpless, he wanted so badly to be able to find this man and arrest him for your sake. He felt like a failure every time he would see the look of disappointment on your face when he said there were no leads.

So, he decided to go into his background. Black, a man who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was a shareholder of your parents’ company and Dick wondered if there was something behind the scenes that made him want to kill your mother and father.

But none of it made sense, according to the contracts that each of them signed, in the case of a death then there was no possible way for him to get his hands on your parents’ shares. It was already enlisted to you. And Black had known about it.

So why try and murder your parents when it wouldn't have benefitted him in any way. Could it have been out of anger? In the spur of the moment? No, everything looked too well planned for that.

It was then he got a call from another detective. They got an anonymous tip that there was evidence found at the scene. He immediately went over there only to realize there was something wrong.

The footprints were even, too even. It was unusual that there was equal pressure at all parts of his sole. The cigarette lighter underneath the table was empty.

He had been so sure that he had looked over the place so carefully. How could he have missed the obvious footprint in the carpet and the lighter under the table?

It was then his partner mused that the evidence was fabricated and that Black wasn't the real culprit. That someone was trying to frame him.

And then everything made sense.

***

Dick’s heart pounded in his ears as he ran. Never in his life did the Nightwing suit ever feel so strained against his body. He felt like his chest was being compressed and each breath was harder and harder to take. Still, he pumped his legs until they ached painfully as he ran faster to you.

His head throbbed against his skull with the information he just learnt.

His eyes skimmed over all the words in your file and his heart rate picked up. He couldn't believe there had been so much information that he had overlooked before, simply trusting your words.

It was such an amateur move that he was surprised with himself. How could he have trusted you so blindly without verifying it?

As he read the file, his heart began clenching in his chest. With each word it was getting harder to breath.

You were the victim of a sexual crime case, that was left incomplete, the name of the suspect was censored. The next paper was another case, you were the victim of a planned mugging, it stated that you sustained injuries. The one after that was a medical report, a miscarriage.

Everything started making sense. The puzzle pieces started fitting in his head. The name of your assaulter was censored because he was a major shareholder of the company and partners with your parents. The mugging was planned so that you couldn't get a paternal test done.

Your parents and Black conspired against you. They made you hold their burdens so that their sins wouldn't be revealed.

When he got home to find the door wide open, his blood froze in his veins. He rushed through the apartment to find that it was empty, you had left in a hurry. He needed to find you, especially when he realized one thing.

His Glock was missing.

Dick swallowed roughly when he saw you, jumping across the roof until he was only one building away from you.

“(Y/N) don’t do it!” He shouted, as if you would actually listen but he still bounded across the gap between you, hand coming to wrap around the gun you were holding to deflect the shot against the ground.

The sound resonated through the area and his ears began ringing but he paid no heed, quickly disarming you and throwing away the gun in your hand. You struggled in his grip, screaming and kicking at him before you resorted to roughly elbow him in the face.

He let go of you, feeling pain and stumbling back but made sure that to get to the gun you’re have to go through him first.

You were new at this, you didn’t bother to assess the situation or even try to combat him again before you were lurching for the gun that lay abandoned at his feet and he tackled you, trying to stop your struggling as you rolled around on the rough concrete of the roof.

“(Y/N) wait!”

“No!” You screamed, voice thick with tears, “No more waiting! That monster doesn’t deserve to live for even a second longer!”

You thrashed in his grip, reaching for the gun again and he grabbed your leg, dragging you back before you could wrap your fingers around it.

"Please! Just stop and listen for a second! For me!" He pleaded but you started sobbing when he pinned you down and you realized you couldn't move.

When you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, he couldn't help his own that began falling from his eyes.

"You know what he did to me. You know what they did!" You cried, "So, why are you stopping me?!"

"It isn't right, (Y/N). You can't do this! If you do then you're just as bad as them." His grip on your wrists got tighter, as if scared you would try to pull away again.

"It's too late for me." You told him, "My parents are already dead. I did it."

He knew that. But he wished he didn't have to hear it. You made a mistake, a decision, that couldn't be reversed. And you would have to live with it for the rest of the life.

"I'll let you go." He whispered. He knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew that he was going against his morals but still, he couldn't be the one to take you to prison.

You immediately stopped squirming, shocked, and you looked up at him with wide eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest; he was willing to let you go? After everything you did you him?

He pulled away, not moving from his place on the floor. Dick looked at you one last time and your throat closed at the sight of his heartbroken gaze.

"I hope we never get to see each other again." He choked out, voice strained and you screwed your eyes shut to keep yourself from crying.

You wanted to tell him that you loved him, one last time, but you knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear. You weren't going to disappoint him one more time that night.

"Good bye." You whispered, turning around and leaving. It would be the last time Dick would ever see you.

It was that night that Dick realized that the most dangerous people were those who had nothing left to lose. And his heart would break even more when he realized that you never considered him yours to lose.

He never even got to tell you he loved you.

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[themadlostgirl]

Chaotic Coupling

*FINALLY! This f**king request took so f**king long! It matter not now because I finally finished it. It is also really long so hopefully that helps make up for how long it took. I do not mean it lightly when I say it is long. This took up 14 pages in google drive. You have been warned.*

Prompt: Reader is the goddess of chaos exiled to the Underworld. It is plenty boring but then she meets the recently deceased Peter Pan. He seems like he could be fun!

Requested by: anon

Warnings: language

~~~

What is more sweet than chaos? What is more freeing then giving into desire? What is a life if one does not indulge in their sins?

Boring. Tedious. Peaceful.

Not at all fun.

Y/N was a goddess of chaos. Messing with mortals by causing trouble and anarchy wherever she went. It was chaotic and threw mortals into a hysteria but that was not how Y/N saw it. Oh no. When she looked down and saw what her actions had wrought she only saw beauty. The anger, confusion, sadness, and raw untethered emotion bursting from every lifeform like a volcano. She loved it.

Unfortunately the other gods did not. She was warned hundreds of times to stop causing such blatant and unneeded mess around the globe but she never listened. It was not like the gods ever punished her. The world would always need a little chaos. Trying to contain it would only build it up until it was unleashed like a hellstorm causing much more damage than she ever could by herself. She almost wanted them to detain her just so she could see what her release of chaotic energy would do to the world.

That was not what happened. After centuries of warnings the gods did finally punish her. She was not put in a crate like a pup as she had almost secretly hoped. The gods were smarter than that. Instead she was put on a leash. Banished to the Underworld to help her Uncle Hades. Her presence would still be felt throughout the world but she could not incite anything truly chaotic as long as she was regulated to the Underworld.

At first she tried to keep her head up. Though she had never visited the Underworld she had to believe it would be fun. It was where all dead souls went. Good and bad. They may be dead but that didn’t mean they were free from chaos.

As she soon learned though nothing she did made much of a difference in the Underworld. Her Uncle Hades ran a tight ship so she could never get away with anything too bad. How could this punishment get anymore boring? She was practically debasing herself with these petty squabbles among the dead. It was humiliating and it was boring! What she would give to be able to leave but so long as she was under Hades watchful eye there was no escape.

It was another miserable day in what was essentially hell. Y/N was taking a walk along the street of the town Hades had modeled the Underworld to. All of the sudden a new soul materialized in the center of the square. That was nothing new. New souls appeared all the time. There was something kind of off about this one though. They had an energy about them that practically made her mouth water. Who exactly had died?

She made her way over to them. “Hello there,” She said and the soul turned sharp on his heel. It was a boy. Young. Disheveled brown hair and piercing green eyes blown wide like a cornered lion. “You have some bite don’t you?”

“Who are you?” He snarled.

“I’m Y/N. Goddess of Chaos and unwilling permanent tenant here in the Underworld.” She stalked around him assessing him up and down. “And you are?” She reached a hand out to touch him. He grabbed her by the wrist halting her. He pulled her closer his eyes hard like stones and his words dripping with malice

“Don’t touch me,” He growled.

Y/N chuckled. “You are fun.” She inhaled deeply, “You absolutely reek of it.”

“What?”

“My beautiful chaos. It’s been so long since I’ve caught a whiff of such potent mayhem. Far more intoxicating than any wine.”

“Get away from me,” The boy shoved her off, “Insane woman.”

“You would be insane too if you were stuck here for centuries unable to have any real fun.” She followed after him, unperturbed. “Well I guess you are now.”

“Why are you following me?”

“I’m bored. Duh. Also, I still haven’t learned your name my delicious little anarchist morsel.”

“Stop talking to me like that. My name is Peter Pan.”

“Hm,”

“What now?”

“Such a boring name for someone who absolutely reeks of pandemonium. Care if I call you something more interesting? Like Balthazar or Zebulon.”

“No.”

“No fun.”

That seemed to irk him and he reared on her with a fury. “You do not know who you are talking to. I have fun more than anyone. The world is my board and everyone else in it are pawns.”

“Really? Cause you seem straight boring now. Peter Pan. Blech, and here I had such high hopes for you.”

“Oh woe is you. So sorry to disappoint Your goddess-ness. Unless you can get me out of here then I have no use for you.”

“If I can’t get out of here then there’s no chance you can. If you decide you want to stop being such a stick in the mud come find me. I live in the clocktower.” With that she walked away. Such a shame. She had gotten her hopes up for a minute just for him to let her down. She wondered what he had done in his life that made him smell so delicious though. Oh wait! She could!

She entered the library and went to the secret section in the back. No one could enter here except for gods. Millions of books lined the shelves. The life stories of everyone that had ever lived. “Peter Pan.” She said his name and waited as a book levitated off of one of the many shelves and flew into her hands. “Let’s see what is so interesting about this Peter fellow.”

Lots of reading later and Y/N understood better exactly who she was dealing with. This Peter Pan was a lot like her. Living on his own island doing whatever it was that he wanted. Instigating violence and anarchy in the name of fun. He was also far older than he appeared. Since time stood still on his island, his Neverland, he lived for hundreds of years without growing older. How had she missed such a place? It sounded like somewhere she would have thrived.

It was almost eerie how similar the two were. At least in the context of his book. The real thing seemed a lot more boring. Perhaps that was due to him dying. Death just took the life out of everyone. Metaphorically speaking.

A few days went by of Y/N stalking Peter to see what he would do. After reading through his novel she was sure he’d be one of those that roughed it in the wilderness but to her surprise he took up residence in a secondhand shop. Why there?

Curiosity overtook her and she went inside the shop. Pretty little trinkets long ago lost lined the shelves and glass cases. Something stood out to her amongst all the sparkly treasures. A doll. A simple straw doll with a little blue coat on it. It stood proudly on a pedestal all by itself. What was so precious about this?

She took the doll off the pedestal to inspect it further.

“Drop it.” A cold voice demanded. There was Peter Pan behind one of the cases. His eyes narrowed at her.

“What? This?” She waved the doll, “If you don’t want people touching it you should really put it somewhere more secure than a pedestal in the middle of the room.”

“I said, drop it.” Peter urged again. Y/N didn’t miss the hint of panic in his voice.

“What if I don’t want to?” She produced a flame from her finger, “What if I burnt it to a crisp instead? It’s awfully dry. It’ll be ash in seconds.”

“Put it down!” Peter roared, he had jumped the case and in a split second had a dagger pressed to her throat. “Now!”

“Why is this so special to you?” She asked. He pressed the blade closer to her neck, not saying a word. Something clicked in Y/N’s head right then. A mention of a doll in Peter’s book. A smile creeped back onto her face.

“It’s your doll. The only toy and the only friend you ever had until you came to Neverland.” She extinguished the flame on her finger. “How sentimental.”

“How did--how did you--”

“I know everything now, Peter Pan.” A shadow passed over his face, “And I mean everything. The mother that never wanted you, the orphanage, the fairy that guarded you, your attempts to go back and have a real family failing year after year until you decided you were too old to be anyone’s son again--”

“AGH!” He slashed her throat but not a mark was left on her skin. Not a drop of blood.

“Now that was rude,” Y/N rolled her eyes, “I think I’m owed an apology.”

“But how did…” Peter stared at the dagger.

“Seems you need a reminder.” Y/N took him by the throat. The doll and dagger clattering to the ground as she hoisted him into the air. “I am a goddess. The Goddess of Chaos. Did you really think it would be that easy to kill me?”

He clawed at her hands but they were like stone around his throat. “Remember this Peter Pan, my body takes an insane amount of power to break. Yours, not so much. So remember your place in this world. You are no leader here. You are no threat. You are my toy and I can throw you away whenever I want. So either be a good toy or I will destroy you.” She dropped him. He collapsed to the ground gasping for breath.

“This was fun,” She knelt down next to him and pulled his chin up to look at her, “I’ll be back to play again.” She left a kiss on his forehead. “Farewell.”

Y/N did not go back to see Peter Pan again for several days. For days she watched him stew in his paranoia. Constantly looking over his shoulder like a frightened deer everywhere he went. He liked games. Y/N knew that much. But it looked like he wasn’t having as much as she was with this latest one. Every so often she would walk by him on the street, acting like she hadn’t noticed but all the while watching him from the corner of her eye. He got so tense when he saw her but never withdrew. He would glare at her until she passed.

It was fun having someone to torture like this again. He still had fight in him.

Then came the morning everything changed. Y/N was walking along the street as she usually did this time of day when she noticed Peter exiting the diner. What luck!

“Good morning!” She sidled up next to him, “Got some breakfast did you?”

He didn’t reply. Just shoved his hands deeper in his pockets and kept walking.

“Oh come now, it’s no fun if you don’t reply.” Y/N said, “If you don’t say anything I’ll just take it as a challenge.”

Nothing.

“Fine.” She sighed, “I just thought you’d like someone to talk to. You don’t talk to anyone around here. I think the only person I’ve seen you talk to is my uncle and that was only once. Don’t you find it boring doing this routine everyday? Don’t you want to try something new? We can have a lot of fun if you would just remove that stick up your ass. What happened to the fun boy full of mayhem that I read about? Did he die when you did? I wouldn’t think death would change a person so drastically. People usually retain their personalities from when they were living into their death but not you. You are more boring than watching grass grow and trust me, there is no grass growing here. You are as boring as watching non-growing grass. Isn’t that sad? I think--”

“SHUT UP!” Peter shoved her hard against the wall of a store. His arm was pressed against her neck pinning her in place. “Leave me alone!”

“Ha!” She laughed, “I told you I could get you to talk.”

“There has got to be a way to kill you.” He muttered.

Y/N smiled. Peter’s arm dug into her neck harder. “Stop smiling.”

“You have fire,” She grinned wider, “I like fire.”

Something clicked in his head. His grip on her easing. She figured that would get his attention. He backed away from her slowly. Y/N turned to a potted bush next to the store window. Peter watched her with a growing sense of interest.

“Don’t you like fire too?” She produced a spark in her hand and flicked it at the flower bush. “One little spark of fire and from that spark it grows. It grows, it spreads, it devours everything in its path leaving behind nothing but torment in its beautiful inferno. It’s the most breathtaking form of destruction I’ve ever come across.”

“You’re kinda crazy aren’t you?” Peter asked, watching as the flower bush was consumed by the flames.

“Perhaps.” she fluttered a hand over the fire making it grow faster. “Being the goddess of chaos kinda does that. I thrive off of disorganization and pandemonium. It would only make too much sense that’s what my mind is like as well. I may be impulsive but that doesn’t make me dumb. You have to find the right nerve to hit to maximize your effect. Groom them with little incidents of mayhem here and there. Then, when the timing is right you hit them where it’ll hurt most and watch the beauty unfold before you. Just like a flame can engulf an entire forest, one perfectly hit nerve can destroy an empire.”

“What do you do when it’s all in ashes then?” Peter asked.

“Not my area. I can bring civilizations down but I’ve never really put much thought into raising new ones up. That’s what the rest of my family is for. They take the ashes of what I have done and create new life. It’s an endless circle of life and death. Gods, I miss it.”

She stared deep into the fire.

“Is that what you’ve been doing with me? Bothering me with little annoyances for days on end before trying to strike that nerve that would drive me insane?”

“A bit.” She shrugged, “Not a fan?”

“Not really, but I guess that’s the point.” He sighed, “I think we’re a lot alike actually.”

“I thought the same thing while I was reading through your book. Did death really suck all the fun out of you?”

“Not much fun to be had here. None of my boys are here, I have magic but there’s nothing for me to control outside of a stupid little shop, and the residents are insanely dull and sad. I fear that you have been my only form of entertainment since I got down here.” Peter waved his hand and the flame from the one flower pot jumped into the next catching that one on fire as well. “What did you mean when you were talking about my book?”

“Oh, there is a portion of the library only accessible to gods. It holds books that contain the entire lives of everyone who has ever lived. I read through yours. That’s how I know everything about you.”

“I see…”

“Would you like to see it?”

“Sure,” He nodded. “Don’t think this means that I like you now or anything. You’re merely the most interesting thing here at the moment.”

“Which is precisely why you do like me.” She elbowed him, “Come, I think you’ll like this place.”

They went to the library and Y/N entered into the area reserved to gods. Peter pouted outside since he couldn’t get past the invisible barrier that shielded him from entering. Y/N grabbed his book and returned with it. “See?”

“Do the gods have these as well?”

“Yes, but they are kept on Olympus. Did you want to read mine?”

“I thought it only fair seeing as how you read my entire life story.”

“Well you would be reading mine for a long time. I do a great many things and I have lived far longer than you have. There’s no need for you to read my book though. Whatever you would like to know you simply have to ask. I have no secrets.”

“Forgive me if I don’t trust anyone who is that open about their past. No secrets? At all?”

“There is nothing I have done in my life that I feel ashamed or embarrassed about.”

“I believe that.” A grin started to spread on his face, an idea latching in his mind, “But that doesn’t mean you don’t have anything personal that you’d rather not share. Acts of wrath and embarrassing moments aren’t something you would feel bad about sharing. Intimate moments though, personal moments, that’s where you clam up.”

“Is this your clever way of trying to dig into my exciting love life?” She smirked. “Afraid I don’t have any secrets there either.”

“Oh no, you misunderstand. I don’t care about any past lovers. I can tell what really gets to you.” Peter stepped closer, “Your family.”

“I don’t care about my family.” Y/N said, she tried to sound casual but his tone gave her pause.

“Yes. You’ve said so. They kicked you out and it is dreadfully boring down in the underworld. But beyond that, you miss them. The only one down here is Hades and I doubt he’s great company. But the other gods and goddess, your other family, even though they banished you here you still yearn to be a part of their world.”

“You don’t know anything.” Y/N’s voice was quiet. She hadn’t expected him to turn the conversation around on her like this.

“I know a lot actually.” Peter continued, “And what I know best is when someone is lost. You may be the Goddess of Chaos but you know what I see? I see the same sadness and desperation that many of my boys wore on my island. You are just a lost little girl crying for your family.”

She hadn’t realized she threw the punch until she saw Peter collapse on the floor. Her breathing was heavy and her hands were shaking. This boy had drilled down into the very core of her being with no effort. He had seen through her as plainly as glass. It was unnerving and she may have reacted a tad harshly to his assessment.

“Punched by a goddess,” Peter stood up again, rubbing at his jaw, “Can honestly say that’s something I hadn’t expected to happen in my life, er, death I guess.”

“You’re not angry?”

“Hardly. Figured you were gonna react like that.” He sighed, “Still not the worst hit I’ve ever taken.”

“You are a strange boy.”

“It’s what keeps me interesting.” He collected the book that had fallen from his hands off the floor.

“Does this mean you still want to kill me?”

“I’m debating it.” He said. “This interaction doesn’t change the fact that you are incredibly annoying.”

“Hurtful but accurate.” Y/N shrugged as she made her way to the stairs that led up to the clocktower. “In another life I think we could have been a very good team.”

She paused. She turned around and saw that Peter had the same look of contemplation. Their eyes met and twin smiles sprouted on their faces. “Is this my magic at work or are we on the same page?” Y/N asked.

“I believe we are.” Peter approached her, “Neither of us wants to be trapped in the Underworld and neither of us individually has the power to escape. But if we work together…”

“We can escape this hellhole.” Y/N finished. “Think you can survive teaming up with me long enough to get out of here?”

“If it means freedom then I will be at your side until we both see the blue sky once again.” He held out a hand, “Partners?”

“Partners.” She shook his hand, “This is going to be so much fun!”

Time passed quickly after Peter and Y/N teamed up to find a way to escape the Underworld. Y/N already had a headstart on research since she spent so much time when she was first banished here finding a way out. She shared her findings with Peter and the two spent days pouring over every detail that looked like it could be useful.

With no need to sleep or eat in the Underworld they would spend several days straight huddled in the library plotting their escape. In between all their research and brainstorming sessions Y/N got to know Peter Pan beyond what she had read in his book and in return he got to know her. They were closer. He still said she was the most annoying thing in all the realms and she teased him often when he got too serious.

When things got especially tense and they needed to blow off steam they would go out together and cause mischief in town. They even snuck into Hades’ office once and stole some of his decanters of fancy liquor. For the first time in a very long time Y/N was truly having fun. Torturing and messing with souls was all well and good but she found she was actually enjoying her time with Peter. She was laughing a lot more with him. Peter himself seemed to grow more at ease with her with every passing day.

Before she had even realized it their begrudging partnership to find a way out of the Underworld had blossomed into friendship. Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she had a friend. She couldn’t remember if she ever did. No one had ever wanted to be very close to her. Causing chaos wherever you go, even unintentionally, threw people off. It never bothered Peter though. He called her annoying but he smiled and laughed at the havoc that naturally happened around her. He played along with it.

“Good morning, Chaos,” Peter let himself into her clocktower bedroom. “Got you a muffin from the diner.” He tossed her a paper bag.

“Thanks.” She caught it. “So, look at this thing I found. So we know that the only way anyone can get out of here is if Hades opens a portal, right? Well, apparently it isn’t solely Hades that can open portals out of the Underworld. Any god can by either being more powerful than Hades like Zeus or by usurping him as the ruler of the Underworld.”

“So you could open a portal out of here?”

“Theoretically yes. But we would have to usurp my uncle.”

“I think we can take him together.”

“No. Here’s the problem. The only way for us to usurp him is to kill him and it is hilariously, nearly impossible, to kill a god.”

“But there is a possibility?”

“I mean I guess but it is hardly a viable option. The only way I know how to kill a god is with the Olympian Crystal which Uncle Hades keeps heavily protected. It is also broken with no way to fix it. Trust me, he brought it out once for me to try and fix but I couldn’t do anything.”

Peter pondered it for a minute. “Okay, you couldn’t fix it all by yourself but what if we tried combining our powers? Do you think that could do it?”

“Maybe. Hades and I tried together once but he said it wouldn’t work since his heart isn’t beating.”

“What does that have to do with--”

“It was part of his own banishment. He can’t leave the Underworld unless his heart starts beating again or something like that. So even though he has the means his dead heart keeps him trapped like us.”

“Alright, is he tied to the crystal in any way? Is there any way he could track it if it went missing?”

“No. So long as it is broken he shouldn’t be able to find it. Why? Plan on stealing it?”

“Yes.”

“Stealing my uncle’s most prized possession from right under his nose, sounds risky...I love it!”

“I thought you would.” Peter grinned, “Seems that for the first time we have a real plan. I say this calls for a celebration.”

“Not too premature?” She asked.

“Well, if we fuck it up then we are both doomed so we might as well celebrate now before anything potentially goes wrong.” He pulled what was left of the liquor they stole from Hades out.

“I won’t object to that.” She took a sip before passing the decanter back to Peter. She stared wistfully out of the clocktower window and sighed. “It’s so strange,” Y/N said, “To be this close to freedom. I have so many memories of the world above but they feel more and more like fantasies I’ve created than something I was ever a part of. I don’t even know what I would do when I get up there. Where would I go?”

“You’re more than welcome to come cause havoc on Neverland if you’d like.” Peter said. “Give my boys a challenge.”

“You really want me on your island? The most annoying being in all the realms?” She teased.

“If you happen to be near at least.” He smiled, softer. “I’d blame it on the liquor but it doesn’t affect us so I guess I’m just gonna have to say this.”

“Say what?”

“I think I am actually gonna miss you when we get out of here.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Chaos.”

“I suppose I’d miss you too.” Y/N shook her head, “I take that back, I know that I’ll miss you.”

“Well that’s enough mushy stuff,” Peter said quickly, dropping his gaze, “We have a crystal to steal after all.”

“Right, of course,” Y/N nodded.

More time passed and Y/N found herself in a new and frightening headspace. She was confused. All her life she had lived through chaos, so much so that it was what she was named the goddess of. Anarchy was where she was most comfortable but yet, when that same pandemonium she thrived in was pushed inward she didn’t know what to do. She could do well in chaos because she always had a focus point. Herself. She was the eye of the storm. She was safe while everything happened around her.

So why did it feel like she was caught in the hurricane?

It had all started that day she and Peter had decided to steal the crystal and usurp Hades. Something about that day disturbed her. When she looked at Peter now her mind wandered. When he sat close enough to touch, her brain burnt out. Yet nothing had changed.

No. That wasn’t entirely true. At some point during all their scheming Y/N had grown to really care about Peter. She’d even call him a friend. When she thought of her life outside of the Underworld she couldn’t think of one where she wasn’t hanging out with him. She already missed him and he wasn’t even gone yet.

What was wrong with her?

Whatever it was it would have to wait. She had a mission now. It was finally the day. After tons of careful and meticulous planning they were going to steal the crystal. Peter was serving as a distraction for Hades while Y/N snuck in and bypassed the traps and wards Hades had around the crystal. She figured she’d have five maybe ten minutes max to get in and get out before Hades got bored of Peter and came back. That’s if she didn’t trip one of his traps first.

By the time she finally got the safe unlocked her whole body was sweating and shaking from nerves. She had come so close and now all she had to do was grab it and get out. She took down the last ward and grabbed the pieces of the crystal and shoved them into her bag before slamming the safe closed and putting the wards back up as quickly as she could.

And done. Phew. Now all she had to do was get out.

“Now this is a surprise.” Y/N froze. Damn. She had taken too long. She poofed the bag away to her room in the clocktower before turning to meet her uncle.

“Hello, hope you don’t mind that I popped in.” She said as casually as she could. “Life up top was getting dreadfully boring.”

“I would say so, it is a rare thing for you to come visit me.” He scanned her up and down, “What entertainment do you think I can provide?”

“I don’t know. You have the billiard table. Care to play?”

“Not now.” He shooed her, “I have work to do so you can scamper along and torment some other poor soul.”

“Boo! You really are the god of the dead.” She stuck her tongue out at him. In the next instant she reappeared in her room. She collapsed back on the bed in relief. Hades didn’t suspect anything.

She heard the sound of pounding footsteps and Peter barged in. “Did you get it?”

Y/N held up the bad with pieces inside. “Who do you take me for?”

“Yes!” Peter was so happy he lifted her off the bed and into the air in a tight hug, “We’re gonna get out of here!”

And the inner turmoil was back. Heat crawled up her neck and burned her face. Had Peter ever held her like this before? Why did it feel so nice to be in his arms?

Just as quick as it started Peter dropped her back to her feet and reached around her for the bag. He pulled out the pieces and set them on the bed, looking over them carefully. He was talking about how it looked like it should be an easy fix but there were other logistics to take into account and whole lot of other technical mumbo jumbo that she really didn’t care about. Well, not so much cared about but couldn’t bring herself to comprehend since her mind was still being tossed around in a tornado of unfamiliar feelings.

“Hey” Peter shook her shoulder, “Were you listening?”

“Spaced out. What were you saying?” She asked.

“I tried a spell on my own but it did nothing. Care to try with me this time like we planned?”

“Got it.” Y/N took her spot next to him and stared down at the broken pieces of crystal. She picked up one and Peter picked up the other. “Here goes nothing.”

They faced each other and started the spell. She was channeling all of her power into it, willing the crystal to come together. This had to work. It just had to. The spell died and when she looked down she frowned at the still broken crystal in her hands.

No. No! It was supposed to work! This was supposed to work! She slid down to the ground, her half of the crystal laying limply in her hands. Peter knelt down with her.

“It didn’t work.” She muttered, “It didn’t work, Peter. We went through all of this and our one way out of here is still just a hunk of junk!”

“We’re never going to see the world above again.” Tears started to slip from her eyes and down her cheeks.

“Don’t say that,” Peter tilted her chin up. His large green eyes bore into her. “We are not giving up now. Not after we have come this far. We are going to see that big blue sky again, Y/N. I swear it.”

“How? We have no other way to get out of here unless we kill Hades and we can’t kill him without this crystal.”

“We’ll find a way. We will not rest until we get out of here. I don’t care how long it takes. Do you wanna know why?” He brushed the tears from her eyes, “Because I want us to go on adventures together. I want to see what you can really do when you can let chaos run free. I want to show you my home. I want you to see Neverland. I want us to have fun together outside of here.”

“Peter…” The whirlwind within me started to ebb, “I want that too.”

“And hey, in the meantime, we can still have fun together right here.” He smiled.

That’s when it hit her. What that chaos reigning inside her really was. Why it felt so strange yet so pleasant at the same time.

“I love you.” She said.

Peter blinked at her. “Huh?”

She grabbed his face and brought him closer so her nose touched his, “I love you, Peter Pan.”

He didn’t respond. Not with words at least. The distance between them, as small as it was, closed and she felt his lips brush against hers in hesitant kiss. She pulled him closer again and the kiss deepened. The spark that ran through her felt like a bolt of lightning and she should know since she had been struck by one of Zeus’ blasts before. This was a lot better though and it certainly didn’t leave a coppery feeling in her mouth.

A flash of light made them break apart. Down at their knees was the Olympian Crystal in one piece. Y/N picked it up. She could feel the power running through it. “But how did…?”

“Through the most powerful magic of all. Something that not even a god could compare to.” Peter grinned, “True love.”

“Are you saying that we have true love?” Y/N teased. Truthfully the thought made her want to jump up and down but she would never admit it.

“Seems so. Only makes sense that I would fall in love with the goddess of chaos.” Peter ruffled her hair. “And she made the unfortunate decision to love me back.”

“Why’s that unfortunate?” Y/N asked.

“Cause now you’re stuck with me forever, Chaos.” He pulled her into his arms.

“I think I can live with that.” She kissed him again. She held up the crystal with a wicked smile. “Now, my love, how do you feel about killing a god for our first date?”

“Sounds perfect to me.” He matched her insane smile. They were going to have so much fun!