#whatever. after the 'i do' shit already happened. i think. idk how weddings work

[manslaught]

“ i can't believe he's wearing a fucking polo to his own wedding. ” she scoffs, chin resting in her hand as she watches asher from across the room, mostly because focusing on him feels less dangerous than focusing on @ladyintree. even when she asked her, mikayla knew that being here with her would be difficult— because of course she keeps thinking back to their own wedding, but every time she does, she has to remind herself that that was stupid, that it clearly only happened because they had nothing else to do while they were out there. still, every time she so much as glances in tai's direction, she's overwhelmed with both butterflies and an ache in her chest, an exhausting combination of feelings.

“ at least jaymee looks cute. and aj, obviously. ” she resists the urge to point out that it's mostly because she did her hair, but she tries to be modest for once, leaving that part out. mikayla almost leaves it at that, but she offers one second long glance in tai's direction, annoyed for the millionth time all day by how good she looks, so she deflects, smirking slightly. “ —and patience, ” she adds, only because she's noticed how irritated tai's seemed by the time they've been spending together, although all of it's been innocent.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

hi Kat! how are you doing?

I wanted to ask, do you have an advice about negative people in your life? I have some classmates that started talking behind my back for no reason in particular, and I honestly feel like shit about it. I know that it’s us that give others the power to hurt us, but I really can’t seem to ignore them, no matter how much I try… Thank you lovely🫶

hi nonnie!! ngl, school's wrecking my butt already, i was up until 2am doing a lit review and had to get up early today skdjflskdjf

tldr: you're allowed to feel hurt; screw your classmates; find people who are supportive; some of my best friends are internet friends; and if tumblr and the fandom space is how you cope, then pls engage in the fandom space all you want

idk if i have advice advice, but i definitely know what that feels like :C but i also wanted to let you know that like, yes, it's us that have the power to not be hurt but also like

if it hurts, it hurts, right? no matter how much we tell ourselves to not care, that their opinion doesn't matter, that we should just ignore it and move on, sometimes that just doesn't work, and that's okay.

like fr screw your classmates that are just starting stuff about you completely out of nowhere, but also, you're allowed to feel hurt. you're valid over feeling hurt. humans are literally a social species, it is unfortunately programmed into us that, on some degree, we care what other people think.

if one of these classmates was a "friend", my main advice would be to think about whether it's worth confronting them and what you'd get out of it. if there's nothing, then cut them off. it's not worth having toxic people in your life, and you also don't owe them an explanation if they're starting shit behind your back.

sometimes, confrontation isn't something we can, should, or want to do, and my main advice for that would be to find people that do actually support you, and that can look like anything! i have VERY very few irls that i would call supportive (other than my husband lol) and i have much closer bonds with my internet friends. some of my literal best friends are people i met on the internet. hell, my fking maid of honor at my wedding (hi @ghostlykeyes who also named their pseuds after my cat LMAO) was someone i met on the internet when i was hella depressed and had zero irls to go to

even some of my irls that i'm close with were originally internet friends and we just happened to live by each other. not saying you should go around announcing where you live lmao but it just worked out

anyway what i'm trying to say is that people are assholes, but there's also beauty and support that exists within people as well, you just have to find who—and that can look like whatever works for you. fuck your classmates, i'll throw hands with them 🔪

also some people might say maladaptive daydreaming is just that: maladaptive, which is valid, but also like

if i'm upset and i wanna imagine levi ackerman comforting me, then i'm going to exactly that, and if that helps me cope, that's how i'm going to cope ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nochiquinn]

legend of vox machina episode 3: the feast of realms OR mercy machine broken

this is my THIRD time watching this, first w/mala right before the stream last night and then on my tv this morning bc I Could and now for this

the moment I realized what this was I just started going "oh. oh no. oh NO."

ptsd dreams really do be like this

also what kind of bloodborne-ass outfits

mask: happen me: I don't LIKE IT

"bad dream?" "is there any other kind?" while INCREDIBLY emo also means this is pretty much the only dream percy ever has, no wonder he never sleeps

the run-down old keep they were given vs grayskull being built for them

idk, something something thematically appropriate

PIGEONS

"seven to two" grog can only count when it's funny

percy in a shirt and vest is v nice

"maybe you should cut loose once in a while" remember you said that vex

I love vex's "oh shit, that's tonight"

see I didn't like scanlan going after pike in the stream so much bc he was so Scanlan about it but with the benefit of hindsight and character development him ONLY knowing how to Be Scanlan About It and that just not working on pike is much more fun to watch

percy: I swear I won't let them nutcheck a diplomat

(edit from the future: oops)

travis had way too much fun with grog's sobbing

so glad we got to work sam's live show costumes in

(grog's getup just makes me think of the wedding oneshot - "this is the most clothes I've ever worn in my life!")

vax probably having had pRoToCol drilled into him when they were living in syngorn and actively refusing to utilize any of it out of spite

(percy teaching them all things he started learning when he was in diapers and unconsciously imitatng his parents, only realizing what he said the moment after he said it and struggling not to visibly react)

all of the Elf Matts are the same character. he has 5 jobs bc the emon economy (emonomy) is in shambles.

his name is still matt but now it's short for matt'hew

kraghammer reference!!

I enjoy scanlan's eyeshadow

"or, y'know, do whatever" I don't know what you expected

"doofus."

I know the side-by-sides of this and taliesin the first time the name was said on-stream already exist but GOD the fisheye lens is the perfect representation of that

....was this on purpose. did they do this as a little "tee-hee giggle foreshadowing no one will ever see" moment or did I just pause in EXACTLY the right place

him instinctively going for his gun

making a safeword makes NO SENSE here bc they don't have the earrings but they couldn't not address "jenga"

like what was vax gonna do, scream it down the stairs (probably)

this is how I pictured allura all the time, with the one big braid and the cape and shit

I started re-watching the briarwoods arc in like october and I STILL forgot percy was disguised as vax. but they also took out vax's immediately-discarded plan with assum and also moved when percy told them everything, so it wouldn't have made sense

also percy just sitting across from them SEETHING for the whole meal, forgetting his manners (ha) even though he's the one who pestered everyone else about them so much

honestly it's probably only due to pRoToCoL that he didn't just jump over the table and start trying to choke delilah out with his bare hands

percy's little eye twitch

pike you have the worst stealth rolls in the game, why did you think that would work

(mala: that never stopped her from trying!)

(also I want whatever they're eating)

"walk over to the briarwoods, say hello to break the ice, and then punch them in the face"

love seeing vax's stealth actually in action

SIMON

he has an EYEPATCH

am I starving or does that steak look fucking AMAZING

I know he's charming uriel but please imagine what this looks like without context

just sensually stroking the king's hand all "haha nooo don't send troops to whitestone ur so sexy"

still absolutely baffled by the decision to include the twins' surname on the posters when they have not once used it in the show. and like yes it's only episode 3 but if vex was ever gonna leverage it I'd imagine it would be here? make it clear she Knows Somebody so delilah can't shrug her off without risking actual consequences?

fully believe the "beads" conversation is based on something that actually happened between sam and marisha

...keyleth would ONLY know what anal beads are because of scanlan, wouldn't she

NO vax you take everything out NEATLY so you can put it back without it being obvious it was moved

I want a pop-up altar >:(

ha, residuum d20 on the side table

...and what I assume have to be eyeballs

percy you were being baited :(

grog and pike holding onto percy :(

YES percy finally got the anime eyeshine he deserved BUT it just looked like they used the fill tool on his glasses

the only thing I would add here would maybe be a couple of flashes of the dream from the beginning of the episode, just to tie what he's saying more firmly to his night terrors. a pause to give the "murdered my entire family" slightly more punch.

stop staring at the firEPLACE VAX

something something parallels between vax and percy instinctively reaching for their weapons

"gosh you guys are good-looking"

I know it was a desperation move but I don't know why even in a panic vax thought he could barrel past sylas. look at him.

"plus he's got the squirts!"

according to the cast live-tweets sam dropped these songs on them completely unprepared. just showed up in the booth with them.

I've said this in like two other places but matt took sylas as his main role so he wouldn't have to give up flirting with liam

I know twinsense is an overplpayed trope but. twinsense.

pike just throwing grog at every problem they have in this episode

"C'MERE FUCKSTICK"

would also have loved vax's "keyleth, beautiful under the trees" death vision but it really would have felt out of place without 100+ hours of buildup lmao

keyleth getting punched out of wildshape was really smoothly animated

percy unjamming his gun in the background while vex shoots at delilah

"NO ONE KILLS VAX BUT ME" we love a pair of besties

"thanks, pickle" lays in the floor and cries

vax and pike are one of my favorite dynamics, so glad there'll be more chances for it

percy: [shoots silas in the shoulder] grog: :D sylas: [heals] grog: D:

BACON EDGE

'cause all craven edge ever has to do is death of a thousand cuts, even a little blood makes it embiggen

oh the mood whiplash

enjoy this way of showing a concentration spell

(I do not know what this would be, though. bless? is bless concentration? it's been 84 years)

keyleth's Panic Vines

desmond didn't deserve that. or anything that's about to happen to him.

"come visit sometime, percy! you're always welcome back home~" GOD she's such a BITCH

this is presumably the first time percy has truly *yelled* at any of them - been short-tempered and cranky and insufferable maybe, but not the way he is here, and definitely not at keyleth, and ESPECIALLY not for saving his life

a little bit orthax, a little bit trauma

also: pike :(

GOD whatever taliesin is doing with his voice here I am INTO

going from that bottomed-out bass when he spots desmond to panicky, cracking and breaking, back to the reverb bass when orthax takes over

also you just HAD THE MASK ON YOU

(would have dug a scene of him like. seeing the mask and hesitating before picking it up as they were leaving)

the orthax shadow!!

YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT

aaaand pusheen-level whiplash going into the credits

are they gonna release a scanlan-only album. they could. whether or not they SHOULD is another question but they totally COULD.

[zodiyack]

Being Married To Henry’s Characters Would Include...

Requested by @cuisinequeen​: Hi, I love your work. I was just wondering if you could do a headcanon for being married to Clark Kent/Geralt/Sherlock Holmes/Napoleon Solo

Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader, Geralt of Rivia x Reader, Sherlock Holmes x Reader, Napoleon Solo x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, some references, trashy writing lol

Note: This doesn’t include all of his characters, so my apologies if I misled you with the title. Not all that confident in the HCs so sorry about that too

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @simonsbluee​, @darling-i-read-it​, @fandom-puff​, @thewarriorprincessxo​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @maan24​, @beckster07890​, @missihart23​

Masterlist | Henry Cavill Masterlist

Clark Kent

You know he’s superman, therefore, you gotta expect the unexpected

Kiss: Level 100

helping him keep his identity secret isn’t always easy-

you wanna kiss him even when he’s superman but fuck you need him to remain undetected

but you manage

Little hc of the first few months after getting married:

Clark comes home late after a fight you see on tv

you turned it off before anything else happened, too worried already

he’s beat up

your eyes are red and puffy with tear stained cheeks as you stand and cross your arms.

you bet your ass there were cuddles that night.

Later into the marriage, he still scares you like that, but you’ve grown somewhat used to it and wipe the tears away

He’s protective of you too though

Aight sorry, but the gif is making me addicted to Henry kisses so Imma say it again,

best fucking make out sessions ever

yes, I’m gonna say that for all four.

fuck it, Clark!Kisses HCs

they’re soft half the time, needy the other half

if he comes home from superman duties or you have a run-in with a villain, so on so on, his kisses are rougher, needier, more possessive

bitch, he just needs you to know he’s still alive 🥺😢

Henry in glasses really do be hittin tho.

Stealing his glasses

Calling him a nerd because of the glasses

Probably making it a small joke about superman

Especially with oblivious friends

“I think superman’s a nerd.” “why??” “I just do.”

Having to stifle your laughs every time someone gushes about superman in front of him

Clark has to hold you back so you don’t unleash your wrath of fucking doom upon some oblivious woman who wrote about superman in a news article

She wrote things that would make you jealous, like talking about how she’s curious to his personal life *wink wink* and stuff- you don’t just have a raging fury because someone writes about him

Superman this hoe

You’ve made jokes about how he has to take his ring off when he’s superman, but he’s got a feeling that you’re actually not kidding at all

Exercising with Clark

Cursing him out in breathy pants for being more athletic and cheating with his “alien powers”

he just laughs at you

Ah, the difficulty have having a husband with two identities

When you rant about your husband, it’s so hard not to fuck up and say something about being married to Superman

Forgetting that you’re one of the few who knows his identity

Basking in pride because you’re one of the few who knows his identity

One time, Clark forgot to take his ring off and the person he rescued had known him personally.

He asks where he got the ring-

“What ring?”

“The one on your finger. The wedding ring.”

It felt like his stomach dropped...if that makes sense-

Clark ended up making some random story about finding it on the same plane the guy he rescued was on and that he put it on so he wouldn’t lose it.

The guy still thought he was pretty sus, “why was it on your wedding ring finger then?” but let him off after some time

The guy gave it back to Clark in person, but you had no idea what happened,

so when he gave him the ring, you were watching with the most confused look Clark had ever seen

thankfully, he played it off well and informed you later

He forgot to take off his wedding ring? You “secretly” fist bumped the air- ...he totally saw you though

Geralt Of Rivia

I don’t think Geralt really expected to get married

Jaskier didn’t either-

He’s the only one who stands when the priest asks if anyone doesn’t accept... only to ask how the fuck Geralt got lucky enough to get you

Everyone laughed but Geralt, he just grunted and looked away with a lil’ bit o pink tinting his cheeks

You demand he lets you go on adventures with him

You also wash him after adventures

wink wonk ;)))

Geralt is a stubborn thing

You’re a stubborn thing

Y’all love each other

When I say that Geralt is a confusing husband-

I mean that he confuses the fuck out of you

“don’t do that”

“okay”

few minutes later

“I thought you were doing that-”

“You told me not too...?”

“I don’t recall. Do whatever.”

Minutes later.

“What the fuck!?! Don’t do that!”

He’s hard to read and it bugs you

However, it makes a good game out of it

If he ever introduces you as anything but his spouse, you hold a bitter glare while internally plotting

Before you marry, Jaskier hits on you without realizing that Geralt is interested in you

He gulps nervously as soon as it hits him

You might just use that mistake as a way to get back at Geralt for not saying you’re his spouse

Jaskier pleads you not to

like for real

He’s in tears

CuDdLeS!

Congrats, you have a stubborn manbaby for the rest of however long y’all shall live

Kithes

Geralt is a little distant when it comes to admitting his feelings for you at first

When you’re dating, you’re all over each other

Marriage is that but amplified lmao

Braiding his hair

Teasing him not the wink wonk and getting away with it because you’re his spouse

If Jaskier said anything remotely close to the shit you’ve said, Geralt would probably choke him out

But then resuscitate him cause they’re bros

Seeing the softer side of Geralt

Sure, sex, but getting to know each others bodies? Yes.

Soft!Sleepy!Geralt

His deep n husky morning voice telling you to “get your ass back in bed”

Having the excuse of “because I’m his spouse” anytime you do stuff people are too afraid to do

Jealous bb 1 and jealous bb 2 aka Geralt and Y/n

I think Geralt’s the kind of guy to just pick you up, ignore your flailing limbs, and move you out of the way

He takes shit from no one...well, from you SOMETIMES

Gives in to your requests with a sigh and roll of his eyes most of the time

He was protective of you at first

now he’s PrOtEcTiVe so uh

Basically, number one husband, number two bodyguard

you put yourself first for the bodyguard part, but Geralt doesn’t know that

Sherlock Holmes

He asks your family for their blessing, then asks you-

I can imagine Mycroft just ranting away and Sherlock drops to his knee

“What are you doing?”

He ignores his brother and proposes to you

Mycroft is confused and upset because he wanted to rant about meaningless things and Sherlock decided to change the topic

rude

Being married means constant visits from Enola

Probably being the “second parents” to Enola

Gossip with Enola and Eudoria about Sherlock and him as a kiddo

Kicking Sherlock out of the house for sleepovers with his sister

bet

Helping Sherlock with cases

Dealing with Sherlock telling you it isn’t safe

still being upset when he’s right you know it

Finding Enola and Eudoria with him

Snapping at Mycroft for how he treats the girl and everyone else

Threatening Mycroft by just being a badass bitch and telling him to fuck off every now and then

Long story short, you make Enola laugh and Mycroft scoff as he walks away

He’s a stubborn bean, which now that I think about it- aren’t all Henry’s characters?

While he doesn’t say it much, he loves you

You get paranoid with this character too, as he does work that can be very dangerous as well

When he returns, he doesn’t say much aside from that he’s there now and that he loves you

cuddles with him whispering softly,

“I’m here now.” “I’m safe.” “I’m okay.” “I love you.”

Kisses in public either be quick pecks or minute long for goodbyes, but greetings-

especially after being apart for a while?

HC TIME

He comes home on the train and you’re at the station with his siblings

As soon as he spots you, he sets his stuff down because you’re already running at him

You jump into his arms and kiss him hard, not caring in the slightest about the other people at the station

It makes you smile every time he introduces you as his spouse

You’ve heard it so many times yet it still makes your heart flutter every single time

Napoleon Solo

The amount of times you’ve just dropped everything and walked away because he was being ‘too serious”-

You say something, he takes it seriously, you groan and stomp away

But then you know you can do the same back to him

Napoleon is an all around awesome husband but he’s not going to just pretend to agree with stuff

Will correct you no matter how embarrassed you get 

Makes up with kisses or stuff idk

Let me be honest, I don’t know much about writing for Napoleon but he is an icon...sometimes

He’s protective

by that I mean he’s stubborn but really it’s his way of keeping you safe

Would probably lock you in your room even though you’re a, a grown ass adult, and b, his spouse for fuck’s sake?!??!

Doesn’t tell you when something’s bothering him unless he feels the need to

“I’m not a fucking mind-reader, Solo!”

“Neither am I but I still manage-”

He doesn’t mean to make you feel bad, he just- emotions and him aren’t the best of friends

Emotions aren’t exactly friends with most of his characters

He’d much rather just speak with actions than admit anything

Sometimes you worry that he’s just fucking with you

When he proposed, it scared the shit out of you ‘cause you thought it was a joke

Never admits to anything willingly...?

Yeah sorry...Idk, that’s all I got :\

[libraryofloveletters]

Misplaced Promises

Eddie Diaz x Sister!Reader

Warnings: sibling arguing, general protectiveness, a few swear words and that’s it I think ? 

Category: angst/fluff

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: This one mostly focuses how Eddie tries his best to keep promises he makes and be a good brother but he keeps fucking up. I also tried my best for this to follow a timeline and make it make sense with canon but idk, I made shit up go with it. // 

---- 

14 years old // 19 years old. 

The 2 of you were 5 years apart but you were attached at the hip. Eddie was your big brother, the guy you looked up to the most, the person you went to when you didn’t know what to do. You had 2 sisters but what you and Eddie had was different. Sophia and Adriana were the two older ones, they stuck together and they included you but it wasn't the same. 

The day before Eddie announced that he enlisted, he had been quiet, shifty and weird all day. He avoided you at all costs. You needed him to look over a project for you - seeing that you ended up with the same English teacher he had in high school but he kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't help you. 

“Running to the store to pick up something for mom, I'll check when I get back” 

“Going to play some ball with the guys, remind me when I get back” 

“Gonna shower, I'll do it after” 

“Let me go see Shan for a bit, I'll check it when I come home” 

Excuse after excuse, he was up to something and knew you would be able to tell so he ignored you at all costs. The next morning at breakfast, he announced that he was enlisting, Shannon was at breakfast too and she didn’t seem shocked at all. 

Your father asked him why, your mother began crying and your sisters wished him good luck and hoped that he would be safe. You on the other hand, had your eyes glued to Shannon. 

“You knew?” your question directed straight at her. 

She nodded, “he told me last night” 

“Huh,” you scoff, getting up. “you told her before you told us ?” looking towards your brother. 

“y/n, don’t” his look pleading you not to start and you didn’t, simply walking away and going to your bedroom. You can hear bits of the conversation from your room, Eddie telling your parents that he’s only going to do one tour just until he finds what he really wants to do. 

It was a while before someone came looking for you and no surprise, it was Eddie. 

“Can I check the paper for you now?” he sticks his head in from the doorway, waiting for your answer- his way of hoping that you’d talk to him. 

“Sure” nodding toward the computer on the desk. Eddie made himself comfortable in the chair and began going over the paper. The keyboard clicking as he edited the paper and your sighing were the only sounds to be heard. 

Everyone had been dealing with the news differently. Your father had turned to whatever project he was building in the backyard, your mother had stepped out- probably to go to the store to get stuff to make one last proper meal for him before he left and your sisters seemed to be handling it well, you could hear them bickering in the hallway over who would get his room as they passed by. 

It’s not that they didn’t love him, they just had a different version of the world and of love. 

The whole family did.  

Sophia and Adriana were the first two, all the love and support of your parents was what they basked in. 

Eddie was the only boy, automatically gaining him an in as a mama’s boy and his father’s only son, someone to show off- he was their pride and joy. 

That left you, not that they loved you any less because they ‘love all their children the same’ but you never got the parental love and affection that your siblings did. Your parents were busy working and now that you were in high school and capable of looking after yourself, you saw them even less. Eddie had always been there, at the recitals, school concerts, whenever you learnt a new trick and was looking for someone to show, he was there. 

In some way, Eddie raised you more than your parents did. 

That’s why you couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

“Couldn't just find a job here like every other lost kid after high school ? You had to go sign up to get yourself killed?” sitting up, you look towards him. 

Eddie sighed, leaning back into the chair and looking at you. He looked sad, almost hurt. “I didn’t ‘sign up to get myself killed’” he tells you, “I can’t sit around watching Soph and Adriana get their lives together meanwhile I'm still living with mom and dad and I have no idea what to do” 

“So what? you take a little longer to get your life together, that’s not the end of the world.” 

“I’m supposed to know what I want to do, I've been out of high school for a year and a half. Most people have already moved out of their parents’ houses” 

“God you’re so stupid” you groan, falling back onto the bed.

“Excuse me?” he looks at you, obviously offended. You get up off the end, pacing the room for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. 

“Just because you’re lost doesn't mean you sign up for the fricking army! Eddie, you could die” your voice breaks at the end of the sentence. Then and only then did Eddie really see how upset you were, you really thought he could die- yes there was that possibility but he knew that when he signed up. He gets up off the chair, you were now facing the window, not wanting him to see the tears that were forming. His hand resting gently on your shoulder. 

“I’m not gonna die” he whispers, pulling your shoulder towards him which caused you to turn. “You better not, I'll kill you” 

“But I'll be de-” “shut up” you give him a look, he chuckles and pulls you in for a hug. “I promise I'll come home, who else is going to keep you in check?” he teased which earned him a smack to the side, “more like who’s gonna keep you in check” you rebutted, a smile on your face now. Eddie kissed the top of your head, his cheek now resting atop of head - abuela’s words ringing in his head. 

“Don’t make promises you can't keep Edmundo” 

She had scolded him for promising to give his sister her candy back after he knew he was going to eat it (and he did, but that’s besides the point) 

He promised to come home but he didn’t know if he would. 

--

17 years old // 22 years old 

“We’re having a baby!” Eddie’s arm around Shannon as they announce the second piece of exciting news for that evening to the family.

Eddie had finally returned from his first tour with the announcement that he and Shannon were getting married all while they were expecting as well. Your parents were the first up to go congratulate the love birds, your sisters are next and you follow last. Hugging Shannon who was already beaming with happiness and then your brother who hugs you for a second longer than needed, whispering that he wants to talk to you afterwards. Humming, you step back and go to help your mother set up for dinner. 

The rest of the evening is spent talking about when the baby is arriving, the plans for the wedding and whatever other exciting things are happening for them at that moment. You tuned out about halfway through the conversation, only replying with the simplest answers to make it seem like you were actually listening. 

Your sisters, mother and Shannon were in the kitchen all gossiping and making plans for the wedding. A big church wedding, ‘do it right’ as your mother would say because ‘if you do it right the first time, you don’t need to do it again.’

The whole big wedding thing was a scam- a pile of bullshit that you wanted no part of. Don’t let that fool you, you were beyond happy for your brother, becoming a husband and a father- those were things the two of you used to joke about, thinking that it was such a long time from then yet here you are. 

The door slammed as it shut, Eddie sitting beside you on the porch. He set a bottle on the step beside you. You glance at the bottle and then at him, brows furrowed. 

“Thought you could use a drink after all the exciting news” he hums, taking a sip out of his own bottle. 

You let out a dry chuckle, taking a sip yourself. “Yeah, congrats dude. Husband and baby daddy in one go ? You got the guys around here beat” jokingly nudging him with your shoulder. Eddie laughs, “yeah.” the word kind of trailed off, there was more to the answer than he was letting on. 

“What's wrong ?” 

“Are you really happy for me ?” he turns to you, “I know you weren't exactly happy when I left, especially that I told Shannon first. I just.. you’re my little sister and it means so much that you’re on board with everything-” your hand rests on his. 

“You always were kind of an idiot huh?” you pat his hand, Eddie looking clearly offended again. “Of course I'm happy for you. You’re my brother and no matter how much we fight, there’s no way I wouldn't be there for you. Eddie, you’re going to be an amazing dad, you know that right ?” 

“Yeah ? You think so ?” 

“Mhm hm, know how I know?” 

“Do tell” 

“Because you raised me and I turned out just fine” you smiled and so did Eddie, shaking his head. 

--

23 years old // 28 years old 

Eddie’s place was covered in boxes, the fight with your parents was the last button to be pushed. He packed up the remnants of his life in El Paso and was on his way out to the door.  

Christopher was sitting on the couch, his favourite show on tv as you were packing up the last of the dishes in the kitchen. Eddie had just stepped back in after taking some boxes out to the truck. You leant against the counter, looking at him. He knew you weren't the biggest fan of his plan but you supported him nonetheless because that’s what siblings do. 

“What? Why do you keep staring ?” he snapped. 

“Jesus, who pissed in your coffee?” rolling your eyes at your brother.  

“Sorry, I'm just ready to get out of here” he tosses a few things into a box. There had been unspoken words between the two of you since he mentioned that he wanted to move. You didn’t say anything, just listened and helped pack boxes but all of that stops now. 

“Are you sure this is the smartest thing?” 

“What do you mean?” he stops what he was doing and turns his attention to you. 

“I know mom and dad were in the wrong for asking- telling you that Chris should move in with them, that’s bullshit. He’s not their kid, he’s your kid but why are you running Eddie ? You have family there besides them, Sophia and Adriana and me. I’m here Eddie, I've always been here, helping you with Chris since Shannon left.” 

“That’s exactly the point, Shannon left. She upped and left us y/n, left me to raise Chris by myself.” 

“So did you.” you tell him what you had been waiting to tell him since Christoper was a baby. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” the anger visible on his face. 

“You left. You upped and left Shannon when she needed you the most, she needed a partner that was here and not thousands of miles away. She just had a baby- your baby and you left her to go to the fucking desert! you risked your life for what ?! you had a family Eddie! You promised just one tour but you just had to go back, you had a family that needed you!” 

“Exactly! I had a family that needed me! That’s why I left, I had to provide for them.” 

“Don’t give me that shit. You wanna know why mom and dad walk all over you when it comes to raising Chris ? Because you left! You fucking left when the mother of your child, your wife and your child needed you! He needed a father and you left Eddie! Do you know what that does to a child?!” 

“Don’t tell me how to raise my child and you sure as hell don't get a say in where my marriage went wrong!” the two of you stood in the kitchen shouting at each other. 

The things you said were nothing but what you felt was the truth - he did leave Shannon after she had Chris, when she needed him to be there. You weren't siding with her but you weren't picking up for him either- someone had to let him straight and your parents would never dare say the things you would say to him. Although they didn’t like his approach to raising Christoper, they would never say that because Eddie was their son. They much rather half ass suggest things and beat around the bush than tell Eddie straight what they felt. 

The rest of the night was quiet, nothing left to be said between the two of you. Tucking Chris into bed one last time before they leave, you spend the night because you promised Chris you’d be there when they left. 

The morning comes and Eddie is quiet, no surprise there. Chris is attached to your hip and the 2 of you stood outside the house, saying goodbye. You crouch down in front of your nephew, “will you come visit?” he asks you sweetly, your heart breaks a little knowing that you won’t be visiting anytime soon but you put on a smile for him. “Of course, only if we stay up late and eat all the candy we can find” you tickle his side, earning a full belly laugh- your favourite sound. 

“I love you always, you know that right ?” you look up at the little boy who's nodding. “I love you” he smiles, his finger tapping your nose, yours comes up to mirror his action. 

“Okay, give me a big hug and you be good for your dad, he’s a good guy. He just bugs out sometimes” you hug Christoper, his arms wrapped around your neck as you pick him up, carrying him to the trunk. 

Eddie comes out just as you’re putting Chris in. He hands you the keys to the house as he checks to make sure Chris is buckled in properly. 

The two of you standing there awkwardly before Eddie mumbles bye and walks around the truck. Stepping back, you watch as they pull you, Christoper waving to you from the window. 

--

25 years old // 30 years old

El Paso had treated you well, growing up there and going to school but you needed a change now. Applying to teaching jobs all over the country, you hear back from two- one is Minnesota and one in LA but you couldn't handle the cold so LA it was. 

The staff at the school were sweet and welcoming, you had arrived just in time for the new school year. The woman at the front desk was asking you some standard questions when she came across your name on the form.

“Miss, is it l/n or Diaz for your last name ? You have both listed here” she looks to you for an answer. You stared at the paper in front of you- l/n was your mother’s last name and Diaz was your father’s. All your legal documents had Diaz on it but you weren’t sure if you wanted to go by it or not, maybe make something for yourself with the Diaz family name attached to you.

“Miss ?” She asked again, looking at you.

“Diaz. Y/n Diaz is fine” 

Classes start and you’re getting settled in nicely, there’s still some shuffling around in terms of students and you get a finalized class list at the end of the week. Not really looking over it, you set it on the desk until the next morning when you say hello to your new class.

You begin writing your name on the board as the children set in.  

Ms. Diaz in big bold letters. 

“Hey! We have the same last name!” a little boy calls out- voice almost identical to your Chris’ voice. 

Turning, there he was sitting n the middle of the class, your nephew Christopher - except no one knows he’s your nephew nor did he seem to remember that you were his aunt. 5 years without a phone call or a visit is a long time, you wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't remember you and he doesn’t. You treat him as you would treat the rest of your students. 

The end of the day rolls around, Chris is the last student waiting with you. It was getting a bit chilly so the two of you headed into the classroom. Christoper tells you about his dad- unknowing to him that Eddie is your brother and talks about how he’s a firefighter and all the cool things he got to do when he visited the station. 

A blonde man, tall and built in stature comes running into your classroom. “Chris! Buddy!” he heads over to the boy, giving him a hug. “Buck!” the boy smiles, returning the gesture. It was obvious that he knew Chris, the man noticed you watching them. 

“Hi, I'm Ms. Diaz, y/n. Christopher’s teacher” you introduce yourself. The man smiles, “I'm Buck, I work with Christopher’s dad” 

“He sent you to pick up Chris ?” 

“Oh no, he's parking, I just came in to find him because we didn’t see anyone outside. Sorry about that, work ran late” he apologizes. 

“No worries, Chris is a great kid. oh buddy, I was supposed to give you a sticker for your work today hold on” you leave Chris and Buck by the door as you go back to your desk, looking for a sticker sheet. When you returned, Eddie was there with Buck, both men had their backs turned to you. 

“Yeah! She has the same last name as us dad, there is she” the boy smiled, waving at you. “Ms. Diaz!” he shouts as you make your way over. You don't look at the men instead you step past them, crouching down in front of Chris showing him the sticker sheet. 

“Which one would you like?” showing him the sheet, Christopher picks out a little green star with a smiley face on it. Peeling it from the sheet, you stick it on his shirt. 

“Can dad and Buck have matching ones too ?” he asks sweetly and who were you to turn down such a cute face.

“Of course,” smiling at him, you stand and turn to Buck. “Can I ?” he nods, watching as you repeat the process and stick the green star to his shirt. 

When it comes Eddie’s turn, you can feel Buck’s eyes on you and you see him move to Eddie as well. As for Eddie himself, his eyes were wide, he hadn't spoken to you in almost 5 years and his parents refused to tell him anything other than ‘she’s fine’ when he asked. You didn’t ask him, you just stuck the sticker on him, on his forehead to be exact. 

Eddie pulled you in for a hug, a well needed yet weird one. Buck and Chris are whispering behind the two of you. 

“I’m sorry” Eddie whispers, his arms still around you. 

“I’m the one that said all that shit” you tell him, he shakes his head and lets you go. 

“You were right. I’m sorry. I know sorry isn't going to fix it but you’re here and I- I just wanna fix things. I miss my sister and I know Chris misses his aunt” 

“Yeah, you’re an ass but you’re still my brother. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try” 

Buck goes “oh” behind you, you’re now standing beside Eddie- arms folded and brows furrowed, the same expression on both of you. 

“Yeah, I see it now” Buck mumbles, “I’m starving, what’s for dinner ?” he asks, him and Chris walking towards the door together.

 You and Eddie follow them out, “why don't you join us for dinner ?” Eddie turns to you, you give him a look. “I can’t crash your time with your boyfriend, y’all are probably-” “my what ?” once again, Eddie had a stupid look on his face. 

“So you’re telling me that wonderful human ball of joy isn't your boyfriend ?” looking at your brother, the stupid look still on his face. 

“No, why would you think that ?” hearing the genuine confusion in his voice, you laugh. 

“No reason, but if you’re not gonna date him, I might.” Giving your brother a smile, his head tilts and a look you know all too well on his face. 

“Don’t” his finger pointed at you, you were now biting back a laugh. 

“Hey Buck!” you shout, running towards him, Eddie running behind you and shouting for you to stop. 

Things were going to fall back into place pretty easily. 

-----

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover​ @beth-winchester21​ @fernandaweasley2​ @yikesyikesyikes95​ @hotchsdarling​ @duhbar1975​@hailsstormthings @averyhotchner​ @captainxholmes​ 

[the-hopeless-haze]

Oh, My Precious Whore

A/N: didn’t really think I’d ever be posting fic on here again… but I am tired and need a distraction so… have this as a treat

Pairing: Claire Underwood x f!reader, implied Duncan Shepherd x f!reader

CW: derogatory pet names, implied smut (will not occur in full until the next part)

Description: idk this is just pure filth bc there’s a severe lack of f!reader fic and… Robin Wright is hot af. Also had to throw in some Duncan in there bc I love Cody Fern

Maybe you should feel worse right now about what you’re doing, but you don’t.

You, at the very least, should feel scared. The Underwoods, or well, Underwood... she was a powerful woman and if you stepped a millimeter out of place your life was likely in danger. Or so they said. Your in-laws were wary of her, you know, but she was wary of them, too. You think. She’s a difficult woman to read.

The rumors concerning the crimes her late husband supposedly committed are lengthy and convoluted, but you suspect they hold some truth to them. Most rumors usually aren’t based totally in fiction. Her husband was truly a ruthless motherfucker. Claire... Claire doesn’t seem to be ruthless. Nor does she seem to be what you would describe as a motherfucker.

No, she’s a cold hearted bitch. A bitter, sociopathic cunt.

But you never wanted what was good for you.

Sometimes, you swear you love Duncan and you wish it was easier to convince yourself. He a good husband, all things considered. Perhaps a little too focused on work, but... he treats you well to make up for it. He is loyal to a fault, if anyone ever was. You met him through a friend, and though it makes you feel guilty you used him in a vain attempt to get closer to Annette.

But Annette didn’t swing your way, as she told you in not so many words. Or, rather, she said, “Just be a good pet and marry my son. You on his arm will do well for everyone all around. Your dalliances on the side are no one’s business as long as you keep them secret enough that not even Duncan finds out.”

So you agreed, and accepted his proposal you figured she no doubt hounded him into. It’s not so much that you don’t like men, you do, and Duncan is such an attractive man, and he’s a thorough lover... it’s just you suppose you have a preference for women. Older women. You used to joke in high school that you wanted to be a high-end escort for rich older women getting away from their CEO husbands for the weekend.

But your parents would have never approved of that plan. So you went to law school instead. Which was fine. You make decent money without Duncan, but with him you’re somewhat of a young, hot power couple. You’re not really interested in policy the way his family is - you just like ingratiating yourself amongst these people with influence. You get off on brushing shoulders with the powerful. Parties don’t mean much to you. Everyone is truly an evil son of a bitch, no matter what they say when the cameras are on. No one cares about progress, not unless it’s self-serving.

The first time you met Claire, you thought you might die. She barely gave Duncan a second glance but you? She stood and chatted with you about your latest case your firm had taken - how she knew about it among all the other things on her mind, you don’t know - but it was a pleasant conversation, all things considered. You know her and Annette used to be close. You wonder how much Claire does know about you.

You know you can’t trust her. At all.

But after that incident, Duncan grinned and shook his head. “Wouldn’t want to give credence to those rumors. She might have it out for you.”

“Rumors?” You asked, panicking already. Did he know?

“That Claire is a lesbian. It’s been floating around some circles, that that’s why she wasn’t truly upset at her husband’s death, that that’s why she’s pushing so hard for female rights. It’s interesting. It is the first time I met her, but having done so it wouldn’t entirely surprise me.”

You can tell. That woman probably isn’t a lesbian, or if she is, she’s very good at utilizing her charm to make it seem as though she’s not. If anything, you’d peg her as asexual. She uses sex as a weapon. Fair enough. You’ve seen even weaker women feel the need to use it.

You wonder if she’s ever had sex purely for herself and not for manipulation purposes.

You wonder if she could even do that. You reckon you don’t really care if you found out the hard way.

It’s a few weeks later that you receive a message stating the President required your audience. And you know you should tell Annette, or Duncan at the very least, but you don’t. You know you shouldn’t show up at all. But Annette said to keep your dalliances secret. So secret they will stay.

“How loyal are you to the Shepherds?” Claire asks when you arrive. Straight to the point. Good.

“As loyal as I have to appear,” you tell her.

Claire smiles a little. “Why did you marry Duncan? He doesn’t seem quite your type.”

“And what do you presume my type is?”

“Perhaps more feminine. Older.”

“Mm. And what is your type, Ms President?”

“Why did you marry him? Did Annette threaten to out you?” she repeats.

“Not in so many words,” you say.

“Hmm. Interesting. He has no idea, I presume?”

“Why did you call me here?” you ask, your anxiety getting the better of you.

“I need information on the Shepherds. And I believe I have something you’d want in return.”

Your head starts spinning, but no, spinning is an understatement. It’s fucking doing somersaults. You cannot believe what she’s proposing.

“You want to prostitute yourself to me for information?”

And Claire does the last thing you ever expected the bitch to do. She walks across the room and slaps you across the face. Hard enough to sting, but not as hard as you bet she could. You feel the cold metal of her wedding ring press against your cheek as she grabs your chin, her cold blue eyes piercing through to your soul. “Don’t you dare fucking accuse the president of the United States of debasement, and don’t ever assume you have the upper hand.”

“Claire—“

“Are we on first name basis, slut?” she asks, her hand slithering down to your throat. Holy shit, you think. This bitch might actually fucking kill me. You think you’d care more if this wasn’t possibly the hottest thing that ever happened to you. “I didn’t think so. Now. What are your loyalties? Who are you closest to?”

“Duncan, obviously. Annette lets her guard down around me because she likes that I think she’s hot, but she still doesn’t like me. Bill and I don’t get along.”

“Interesting. How much does Duncan know?”

“I know more than Duncan.”

“Really, now? Are you just saying that? Because if you don’t prove to be useful...”

“What? You’ll kill me?”

Claire laughs. “No, you’re much more fun to me alive. But tell me… do you know where Duncan came from?”

“I mean, I truly don’t know how Annette’s cunt could birth anything, given how much of a bitch she is, but…”

Claire smiles. “Yes. Much more fun alive. Duncan is not her child.”

“Well, that’s a relief I don’t have any chance of keeping the Shepherd bloodline alive,” you snicker. “Where did he come from, then?”

“I’ll tell you… in time. But you have to tell him, too. In front of Annette and Bill. I want them all to know.”

“They’ll skin me alive if they knew I was here.”

“Do you want to fuck me or not? These are my terms.”

“So that is why I’m here?”

She only smirks at you, the wrinkles around her blue eyes crinkling as she does. “Your attraction to me is far more interesting than... well, men are pigs, right? I’m sure you are well aware. But you, you look at me like you want to fuck me, sure, but you also know your place. You respect me, even if you try to talk back. Men don’t know any better.”

“Have you ever slept with a woman before?”

She only smiles. “Does it matter?”

“Just wanted to know if there was credence to the rumors.”

“Rumors? You’re quite bold. I’m the one with my hand...wrapped around your throat.”

“It’d be pretty messy for you if you killed me right now,” you retort, wincing and rubbing your legs together as she increases the pressure on your neck.

“You’ll learn not to talk back, whore. To think you’re a married woman...”

“Yeah? Did you hold your marriage sacrosanct?”

There’s that smile again. She’s beautiful, ethereal, but there’s something so inhumane about the way her lips move upward to smirk at you. Maybe you should learn to shut your mouth, but you always were a brat. Besides, it’s more fun this way.

“I did.”

“Liar,” you accuse, smirking at her as you do, and she lets go of your throat and before you can miss the feeling too much she slaps your face again, the right cheek this time, much harder than the first time. You let out a startled, strangled moan on impulse, stumbling back a little against the wall.

“Oh, did that hurt?” she coos at you condescendingly, fixing a piece of your hair that fell out of place as you stand back up, pressing your back flat against the wall for stability. Claire crosses her arms and stands directly in front of you.

“I can take it. I can take more than that,” you say boldly.

“Oh? What else do you like, slut?”

“You name it, I’m game.”

“Anything? Handcuffs? Whips? Knives?”

You nod at everything she comes up with. Jesus, you would let this woman carve out your heart if she wanted it.

“If I make you bleed?”

“Better.”

“Interesting. Does Duncan play these little games with you?”

You laugh. “No.”

“You only want a woman to do these things to you?”

“Precisely. Are you kinky, Madam President?”

“Whatever my partner requires... I make certain I provide.”

“But what do you want?”

“I’m a hard woman to please.”

“Oh. Is that the kind way of saying Frank wasn’t good in bed?” you ask, feigning sympathy. She only smirks again. “I’m surprised you didn’t slap me for that. He must have really been awful.”

“You think you could do better?”

“Women do everything better,” you laugh, earning perhaps the only genuine smile you’ve gotten from this woman the whole time. “That’s why I wanted to know if you’ve been with a woman...”

“No. But I’ve thought about it. Never had a woman as interested as you.”

“I find that very hard to believe. Maybe you just never noticed. What gave it away?” You’re aching for her to touch you again, give you anything, even pain, but she stands still in front of you.

“I can just tell. Besides, I was interested to meet you. You’re the Shepherd’s weak link. I knew Annette didn’t vet you carefully enough.”

“Are you saying me being gay is an issue?”

“Are you so naive to think it wouldn’t be, given the state of this country?” she retorts. “But that’s not all. I can tell you don’t like them. I could tell you were easy... on more than one account.”

You roll your eyes. “I fucking hate Bill. I mean it’s awful to say, he’s not doing well physically, but he’s just made life a living hell for me.”

“Why?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.

“I don’t know. Maybe he hates gay people. Maybe he hates women. Both. Don’t know.”

“So everyone knows but Duncan? Funny how he’s kept out of all the good family secrets that concern him.”

You sigh. “See, sexuality’s a funny thing. I like Duncan. I do. And sometimes sex with him is good if not great. He’s a good partner. But I just prefer women.”

“Must be nice to have it figured out. Your generation did have it easier.”

You look at her questioningly. You never thought someone like her was human enough to struggle with such a thing, but perhaps that’s an unfair assessment.

Or she’s playing you.

Still. She’d have to be quite a good player - not that you should underestimate her skill - to talk about something as personal as her struggles with sexuality. Straight people just don’t get it. Would she really be this easily well versed if it was a game?

“There’s still a long ways to go,” you say.

“I intend to rectify that.”

“Of course you do.”

Her eyes narrow at you and she tilts her head. “Do you think I should be doing better?”

“Yeah. Come out, for starters.”

“Says the woman in a sham marriage.”

“It’s not a sham. I love Duncan,” you protest.

“Then why are you here, selling out his family just for a chance to fuck me? You’re not much better than I am.”

“I don’t think I’ve told you anything yet. Besides. It’s not his real family… as you say.”

“No. You haven’t told me anything I didn’t already know. But I haven’t fucked you yet either, have I?”

“Touché.”

“Come over here,” she beckons, leaning against the desk and once again it strikes you where you are - the fucking Oval Office. Are you seriously going to have sex in the Oval Office? Conservatives would be disgusted by this (although it wouldn’t be the first time this office was defiled). “Don’t look so scared now. You can’t back out at this point.”

You nod, trying not to look as nervous as you feel and walk the few steps over to her, your legs inches from hers. God, you’re practically dying from the anticipation alone.

“Does Duncan ever tell you how beautiful you are?” She asks. You’re absolutely shellshocked. There’s no trace of sarcasm in her voice.

“Sometimes,” you murmur.

“Just like men to not appreciate what they have.”

“Mm. Frank didn’t appreciate you, Claire? Didn’t make you feel good? I would. If you were my wife I’d make you come every fucking day,” you say, and boldly you decide to punctuate that statement by pressing your lips to hers.

Mistake. Or maybe not, you don’t know.

Her hands tangle in your hair and you feel her stand up, press against you firmly before backing you into the desk, pushing you onto it until your back is flat on the wood, and she’s hovering over you, her lips ghosting yours.

“I’m a hard woman to please,” she reiterates and you realize she never fucking lost her breath while you feel like the wind was knocked out of you. “I’m ambivalent about attention in general. But look at you, whore. You crave it, don’t you? Just want someone to tell you that you’re a good girl... oh, look at you squeeze your thighs together. Are you wet for me, slut?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” You ask, spreading your legs slightly for her.

She shakes her head, her straight platinum locks shifting as she does so, brushing against your face. “See? You’re not a good girl. You’re a dirty filthy whore and you just don’t know when to shut that whore mouth or close your fucking legs.”

You stay silent - you’re not sure what to do now. Do you antagonize her, push her further, see if it will rile her up again? Or do you try and kiss her again?

Claire has other ideas. “Beg,” she hisses in your ear. “Get down on your knees and beg for me.”

—- and I am evil and ending it there! Plz let me know if I should continue this!

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[peepeepotter]

New Girl Hogwarts AU Chapter 3: Ginny’s Visit

A/N: I don’t love this chapter, it’s more to show some of the pairings and get George and the reader closer. Also, this is based off of a New Girl episode. Most of this fic will be based off of the first two seasons. I’ll try to combine multiple episodes in the next chapter if you guys don’t mind it feeling a bit rushed? Otherwise I can write them out individually. 

Pairing: George Weasley x (Fem!)reader

Warning: Cursing, sexually suggestive? Idk we’re still PG-13 for now

Word Count: ~3.5k

Series Masterlist

“Hey can you come pick me up? I don’t think I’m sober enough to apparate right now.” Ginny asked immediately after Y/N picked up the phone.

“What about that guy you were seeing? The one that takes his shirt off too much, whatever his name is. Why can’t he take you home?” Y/N asked, getting out of bed and slipping shoes on quickly. She figured she might already know the answer.

“He’s an ASSHOLE that keeps flirting with other girls. I just caught him making out with some bitch in the club-”

“No other bitch, just you! You’re my bitch!”

“Viktor, that doesn’t mean what you think it means, you absolute blubbering idiot.” Y/N could hear the two of them arguing through the speaker of her slightly cracked iPhone 4. She rolled her eyes as she grabbed her keys for the loft.

“Where are you? I’m coming.”

“The Golden Snitch. That new one in diagon.” Y/N rolled her eyes. All of those lame ass quidditch lovers ended up at that club. She knew her best friend played professionally, but she couldn’t help but think about the fact that some of those quidditch players didn’t have a personality outside of the sport.

“I’ll be there in two shakes,” before Y/N could finish her old phrase, she was cut off by George entering her room and speaking.

“You bloody American, would you please stop using old farmer’s phrases?”

“Do you mind, like, knocking?” Y/N rolled her eyes as she turned his way.

“Oh you mean like how you totally DIDN’T a few weeks ago?”

“Oh my god, I DID knock, it’s not my fault you BLAST your music!”

“Will you two shut the fuck up and get a room?” Ginny interrupted the bickering.

“Actually we’re in a room, sister dear.”

“I don’t think that’s the quip you think it is.” Ginny laughed, definitely better at teasing her brother than a decade ago.

“Whatever, what the fuck do you want anyway?” George asked, getting closer to Y/N and her phone.

“See, this is why I NEVER call you for help,” Ginny grunted.

“I’m picking her up from the Golden Snitch and taking her home.” Y/N interrupted the argument just waiting to happen between the siblings.

“Actually, can I stay at your place? Viktor’s shit is at my place and I’d really rather not see him.”

“Yeah that’s fine,” Y/N said at the same time George spoke.

“Absolutely not.”

“George, give your sister a break. Can you please go make sure the couch is made up for her and that the guys aren’t naked when I’m back?” Y/N asked George.

“No promises,” George winked before exiting the room.

“God I swear I can HEAR the sexual tension between you two.” Ginny mumbled.

“Gross, Gin, that’s your brother you’re talking about. Anyway, I’ll be there in like three minutes.” Y/N hung up, and in the blink of an eye she was in diagon alley, walking quickly toward the club playing the Weird Sisters. It was a matter of minutes before Y/N found her way towards the DJ’s booth where Ginny was arguing with Viktor. She was about ready to hex him, or the DJ he had apparently made out with, when Y/N decided to intervene.

“Ginerva darling, I’m here, let’s go home.” Y/N grabbed Ginny’s hand, ready to drag her out of the club. As they walked away Y/N could hear Ginny whisper a hex, and the ensuing shriek from Viktor. Soon they made it to the apparition spot where Ginny side-alonged Y/N to just outside the loft door.

“Why do you guys have protection charms again? What year is this, 1886?”

“I literally live with the chosen one. I feel like that’s justification enough.” Y/N rolled her eyes, mumbling a few spells to disarm the hexes as she unlocked the door with her key. They stumbled into the loft, where, unsurprisingly, Draco stood in just his underwear, Harry without a shirt, George sat on the couch with a beer in hand, and Neville sat with a plant in his lap.

“GEORGE!” Y/N yelled over the argument Draco and Harry were having. He looked over at her and shrugged.

“What can you really do with these guys, ya know?” Y/N flipped him off before pulling the grown men apart.

“Get a room lovers.” Y/N rolled her eyes pushing them apart as she shooed George and Neville off the couch and started making a bed for Ginny.

“LOVERS? God, it’s like you don’t even know us.” Draco shouted, clearly fuming at Harry for...reasons unknown.

“Draco, babe, it’s called sarcasm.” Y/N said as she tucked a sheet around the couch cushions.

“Hey Gin,” Harry pulled her in for a side hug as Ginny turned pink. A childhood crush that never seemed to go anywhere still seemed to bother Ginny. Ginny returned the side hug, and then started taking off her shoes.

“I feel like you’re about half naked every time I see you.” Draco remarked to Ginny, who had a black minidress on, as he sat down on the side of the couch Y/N wasn’t making into a bed. Y/N smacked him.

“Awfully bold of you to say when you’re only in your knickers.” Ginny quipped, rolling her eyes.

“Potter, control your girlfriend.”

“PARDON?” Ginny yelled as Y/N hit his chest again.

“Malfoy, I will actually sectumsempra your ass again.” Harry said, coming up behind Draco to smack the side of his head.

“ANYWAY...you’re making me sleep on the couch?” Ginny asked, plopping down on the unfinished bed Y/N had been in the middle of making.

“Um, yeah, Gin. You steal the covers and we live in a loft. You could say it’s a bit,” Y/N giggled to herself before finishing the joke. “Lofty in here.”

“I hate it here.” Said Harry.

“Literally get out.” Unsurprisingly, from Draco.

“Oh, Merlin, yeah that was pretty bad Y/N.” Neville spoke gently.

“George, oh my god, are you laughing at that?” Ginny accused.

“What? No! Puns are the bane of my existence.” George said, clearly trying to stifle his giggles.

“Bad jokes aside, I hate this couch. It’s got a permanent dip in it from when George didn’t get up off of it for like, a week, when you showed him that one muggle show.” Ginny said

“Friends is so much more than a muggle show.” George hissed.

“George, every year without your far funnier twin your sense of humor gets significantly worse.” Draco said without looking up from his phone. George tensed as Y/N once again smacked Draco on the chest.

“You’re awfully moody tonight, yeah?” Y/N whispered angrily at Draco.

“Sorry, just shit going on at work.”

“You mean how your work wife is engaged?” “Shut the fuck-”

“You know you could just...tell her how you feel?” Y/N suggested as she plopped down in between George and Draco.

“He’s a man, he’ll never do that. I bet he’ll do something dramatic like sabotage the wedding instead.” At that, Draco looked up from his phone and over to Ginny with a grin.

“Maybe one of the Weasley’s are intelligent afterall.” Draco smirked.

“Don’t do that.” Y/N said, hoping that Draco wouldn’t ruin the only other friendship she had outside of the people in the loft.

“No promises. Anyway, I still have time to break them up.” Which made everyone in the loft groan.

“Can I complain about sleeping on the couch again? When is someone going to offer me their bed?” Ginny said, glaring Y/N down.

“You can sleep in my bed.” Harry said, sitting on the floor staring at his phone. Ginny turned pink.

“In my own house? Oh my,” George giggled, but stopped after Ginny glared at him. Harry looked up.

“We practically grew up together. It’s fine.” He shrugged, although Y/N noticed a hint of a blush in his cheeks as well. Y/N found herself smirking. “Yeah George, they’re grown ups. Grown ups can share a bed platonically.” She said, hinting at him to drop it. He smirked as well, nodding.

--

The next morning, Y/N arose to hear rushed whispers in the living room. She cracked her door, knowing that if she entered the conversation would likely stop.

“I’m IN!!”

“Dude, holding her hand is not ‘in.’”

“Whatever, you’re just mad because you’ve never held H-”

“Don’t finish that.” Draco warned.

Y/N tip-toed out to the kitchen where the two were chatting.

“You DO like her!! You big idiot!!” Y/N whispered, scaring Harry at the sudden appearance.

“How am I a big idiot? We shared a bed last night, I made a move!”

“That girl has had a crush on you since she was like ten! You call sharing a bed making a move? The right move to make would be, like, confessing your love for her or something.” Y/N sighed, moving over to the coffee pot of which only she used.

“Whatever, at least I can pick up on signals.” Harry mumbled.

“What is THAT supposed to mean?” Y/N said, turning around to face him quickly.

“Oh nothing, other than that George totally likes you.” Draco chipped in.

“He does not! Did he say that to you?” Y/N stopped, her heart dropping. Her stomach had a weird feeling she couldn’t quite place.

“No, but he doesn’t need to. It’s in the body language. Besides, puns really used to be the absolute bane of his existence. He and Fred were quite high and mighty with their senses of humor.” Harry shrugged.

“I’m sorry, do you call pranking high and mighty?”

“What about pranking?” George said, strolling into the room, his hair a mess and wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

“Nothing.” Draco, Harry, and Y/N unisoned.

“Good morning sunshine.” Y/N grinned as Ginny walked into the room looking an even bigger mess than George.

“Sleeping beauty.” Draco chimed.

“Shut the fuck up. You, don’t.” Ginny said, stopping Harry before he could join in the teasing.

“Well George, it must be nice to know the messy sleeping runs in the family.” Y/N said, gesturing to his hair.

“What? What are you talking about?” George furrowed his brow, reaching up to fix his hair and making it worse.

--

“Do you think my ass looks good in leggings?”

“Are you joking? Of course it does, I wish my ass looked like yours.” Y/N replied to Ginny. She sighed, thinking about what Harry and Draco said to her earlier. “Do you think George…” Y/N drifted off, deciding she didn’t really want to ask anymore.

“Has a crush on you? Absolutely.”

“See, what the fuck? I don’t see it.”

“That’s because you’re absolutely terrible at picking up signals. Remember that last time we went to the club and a guy kept buying you drinks and then you were SURPRISED when he asked you to dance with him?”

“That’s different. I don’t like dancing with strangers!” “Sure, but you were surprised, Y/N.” Ginny gave Y/N a pointed look, to which Y/N sighed.

“Anyway, no one will ever known, because George doesn’t share his feelings with anyone ever.”

“Just try and pick up on his body language. You know, if he points his feet to you or whatever.” Ginny said, staring at her phone with a furrowed brow. “Thank God, Viktor is moving his shit out of my place as we speak. I might be out of here by tomorrow.” Ginny turned and grinned at Y/N. 

“Hey,” George said, once again walking right into Y/N’s room and plopping down on her bed.

“Seriously, do we just not knock here anymore?”

“Well, we’ve seen each other naked, so honestly what’s the point?” George offered, to which Y/N rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry, what? What did I miss?” Ginny said, tossing her phone onto the bed next to George.

“One time-”

“No, it’s not important, it wasn’t in a sexual way, it’s loft shit. We don’t talk about loft shit to outsiders.” Y/N said, not wanting to recount the story.

“Outsiders? I’m your best friend!”

“Well, you don’t live here.” George shrugged.

“I’m literally your sister!”

“I’m sorry, what does that have to do with the loft? You still don’t live here.” George smirked at her. She screamed and stormed out of Y/N’s room. “Anyway, want to go to the market with me? I need a few things and I’m quite tired of going on my own.” He perched himself up on his elbows to look at Y/N and something about the position he was in on her bed made her feel...some type of way.

“I-- I don't need anything, though.” Y/N said, now wanting to avoid George.

“Can you go and pick me up some tampons? I think you’re out.” Ginny poked her head back into the room, smirking at Y/N.

“You bitch.” Y/N mouthed at Ginny. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll go with.” Y/N announced, looking quickly over at George.

--

Ginny walked around the loft with just her bra and leggings on, as she would in her own apartment.

“Merlin, woman, put some clothes on.” Neville said, covering his eyes with one hand from the couch, covering a leaf on his plant with his other hand.

“Or don’t, I’m starting to appreciate the divine femme energy you’ve got going on.” Draco smirked, practically staring right at Ginny’s boobs.

“Malfoy, I swear to-”

“What, Potter? Don’t like me hitting on your girlfriend?”

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll kiss you.”

“You’ll wha-” before Draco could finish his question, Harry grabbed the back of Draco’s head and left a wet kissed on his lips.”You know, I could’ve gone my whole life without doing that.” Draco mumbled, rubbing his lips on his arm. Ginny stared at the three men in the apartment, rather confused.

“I’m confused,” Ginny said.

“Why?” Harry said, looking over at her.

“Are you guys actually gay?” Ginny whispered, as if it was offensive to ask.

“No, it’s just loft shit. You wouldn’t get it.” Harry shrugged.

“Yeah you wouldn’t get it.” Draco grinned at her. Ginny, in confusion, looked to Neville for an explanation.

“No offense Ginny, but you wouldn’t. It’s just kind of weird here.” Neville shrugged at her.

--

Y/N found herself staring at George’s feet the entire time they were shopping for groceries. He did point his feet at her a lot. But did that actually mean anything?

“Hey, I asked you a question! Where are you today?” George furrowed his brow, waving a hand in front of Y/N’s face.

“Sorry, what?” She kept glancing between George’s face and his feet. She moved around, and his feet would follow her as he continued to face her no matter where she moved.

“You’re acting weird. Anyway didn’t Ginny need something?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll just go get the tampons. I’ll find you later.” Y/N sighed in relief as she was able to quickly get away from George. Why was she so uncomfortable suddenly? She couldn’t decide how she would feel if George did have feelings for her. Her stomach had a weird feeling again. She hadn’t really ever felt this way. She was warm.

“Oh my god.” She said, staring at the tampon boxes. “Am I blushing?” She raised her hands to her face, feeling how warm her cheeks were. “Oh my god.” She whispered to herself. She grabbed a random box from in front of her and stormed off to where George was. She tossed the box angrily into the basket.

“Woah, sassy pants. What’s got your knickers in a twist?” George asked.

“Nothing.” She furrowed his brow at him. “They were just out of the brand I usually get.” She felt herself staring him down. He looked down at the basket to escape her pointed look.

“Super max?”

“I have wide set hips.”

“I believe they call those birthing hips.”

“Who is ‘they?’”

“I don’t know. It was a joke.”

“I know, I’m pointing out the flaw in your joke.”

“Ouch?”

--

“Can one of you make me a sandwich?” Ginny was staring at her phone, now wearing spandex shorts with her bra. It was like the boys had turned on the heat so she would strip (which they had, but she didn’t need to know that). 

“On it.” Draco said, quickly stopping what he was doing (drooling over her legs) as he rushed off to the kitchen.

“No, you know I’m a better cook than you.” Harry rushed off after Draco. Ginny giggled to herself. She liked having men chasing after her, and thought this game was kind of fun. It was like a game of who needed to get laid more.

“You know, what you’re doing isn’t very nice, Gin.”

“Neville, when did anyone ever use the word ‘nice’ to describe me?”

--

“Flowers for sale! Two for one dollar!”

“Oh that’s so cute, here, do you want a flower?” George offered, not waiting for an answer from Y/N as she crossed her arms and started shaking her legs as she did when she was uncomfortable. She started to spiral when he handed her the roses. She stared at them, wondering what they meant.

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“I know, but I like to support small businesses.” He shrugged, his feet weren’t pointed towards hers anymore. Maybe he didn’t like her like that. Maybe she was overthinking this.

“Oh, good point, I guess.” He giggled and pointed his toe.

“Good POINTE, right?”

“I--what?”

“You’re a dancer, right? I’m on pointe.” He giggled, continuing to walk towards the apartment. Y/N felt uncomfortable again. She mentioned it once in passing that she did ballet as a kid. Her stomach hurt again. She felt tears start to well in her eyes.

“I-I...I’ve gotta go!” She said suddenly, running off in the opposite direction of their apartment. George furrowed his brow, confused at Y/N’s odd behavior.

--

“Ginny,” Y/N burst into the door, out of breath. She had clearly been running. “I’m confused.” She looked up and became more confused when she saw Ginny was getting pampered by Draco and Harry. “I...what did I miss?”

“There you are! I looked for you everywhere! You can’t just run off like that, what are you, insane?” George stormed into the apartment. He noticed dried tear trails on Y/N’s face and dropped what he was saying. He looked towards Ginny and the guys and furrowed his brow. “What the fuck, guys?”

“How did this happen?” Y/N asked, gesturing to Draco who seemed to be giving Ginny a facial as Harry rubbed her feet.

“I don’t really remember.” Harry sighed.

“Ginny, get up.” Y/N was ready to lecture her. Ginny sighed and stood up.

“Thanks mum and dad, you two really have to ruin everything.” She sassed. George and Y/N looked at each other with wide eyes. George smirked suddenly.

“Ginny, don’t I recall hearing that Viktor is moving out? Why don’t you give him a call and see if he’s done.” George grinned, trying to expedite the process of getting Ginny out of the loft. Y/N giggled, looking at George’s side profile. He looked back over and nodded his head back towards his room. Or maybe her room, she couldn’t tell, their rooms too close together.

She followed him into his bedroom. He sat down on the bed as she closed the door and stood right by it.

“You were a bit weird today.”

“The guys and Gin were messing with me and...I don’t know. I had my knickers in a twist.”

“Oh finally, a british phrase. There we go, America.” He smiled at her. She offered a half smile. “I’d like to think that I’m your best friend next to Ginny, so you don’t have to be so weird around me.” Y/N’s heart sank. Best friends, that’s what they were.

“Yeah, you’re right. I was just surprised when you mentioned the dance thing, I guess. I’m not used to anyone other than Ginny remembering things about me.”

“Yikes, you must have awfully bad taste in men, and friends.” George pointed his head towards the direction of their living room, laughing.

“Yeah, you could say that.” She rolled her eyes, laughing, too. “I’m glad I have you. I guess. Don’t let that get to your head.”

“I would never.” George smiled.

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[bigskydreaming]

Shout out to that time in the preboot universe, when Lilith showed up to Donna’s wedding to the red-headed man she’d once prophesied Donna would marry and who would die horribly and thus is the reason Donna broke up with Roy originally, thinking the prophecy was about him, (its a long story, just go with it).....

.....and so then here’s Lilith just popping up at the Wedding of Doom she forewarned against, after being out of touch for ages, but she’s flying solo with no plus one and thus no sign of her caveman boyfriend Gnaark (its a long story, just go with it) and when all the other Titans were like hey wtf where’s Gnaark she was just like oh something terrible happened there but I don’t want to get into it now, its a wedding, cheers, because Lilith just does that, when she’s done talking she’s done talking lmao.....

....and then this winged angel named Azrael started popping up all the time and the other Titans are like wtf Lilith, is this dude stalking you, and she just casually waves them off and is like oh yeah, he’s been doing that for ages, he wants me to be his ‘mate’ or whatever, its this whole thing. Don’t worry about it though, its no big deal.’ Because again, Lilith’s just like that.

And then when Azrael keeps showing up Lilith starts glowing every time he’s near and turning into a combustion engine about to blow, and her teammates are like Lil, once again we are just here begging you to call this a big deal, this dude seems to be turning you into a human glowstick, but Lilith is just like omg stop being so dramatic, that has nothing to do with him even, I’ve been having those little ‘heat attacks’ for like years, and the Titans are like WTF LIL, WHY DID YOU NOT MENTION THIS BEFORE, and she’s just like ‘I forgot to okay, god, get off my ass already’ and she stormed off and dramatically quit the team with a huff and a “AND IM NEVER COMING BACK except for when I totally will cuz I already foresee this apocalypse we’re gonna have to prevent in like two years, so nobody take my room okay, thanks bye, and NO DICK, I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE UPCOMING APOCALYPSE JEEZ I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW, I’LL GET TO IT WHEN I GET TO IT'’.....because I mean....Lilith. *shrugs*

And then she came back and joined the team during the Terror of Trigon storyline and she was all dramatic and prophesizing left and right except lol it wasn’t really Lil as she was possessed by a bajillion Azarath spirits who were like, hey we’re gonna hijack you to cleanse Raven of evil, sorry not sorry, but don’t worry, we’ll tidy up after ourselves before we leave’....

And then she got depossessed and Azrael starting popping up again and she starting doing her human glowstick thing again except this time with actual fire actually burning shit all around her, and Lilith’s like “okay, fine, I’m willing to concede now that this MIGHT be an issue,” and everyone’s like GEE YOU THINK???

And her ‘heat attacks’ were now big and noticeable enough that they eventually got the attention of Lilith’s birth mother, cuz Lilith had been adopted and found that out and started searching for her birth parents and answers about her powers and where she came from when she was like, thirteen (its a long story, just go with it), and so Lilith’s flame on moments finally caught her birth mother’s attention and she showed up and was like surprise, oh hey and also I’m the Greek Titan of the sun, who escaped from Tartarus awhile back and came up with this whole plan to get back at Zeus and the rest of those turds by making a secret weapon baby - that’s you hon, so proud of you - and yeah your dad was just this rich dude who had a company I wanted to take over, I just kinda incinerated him once I had you and didn’t need him anymore, sorry but its not a big loss he was kinda dull, you wouldn’t have liked him anyway, but also, then this random nurse kidnapped you and derailed my master plan of using a toddler Titan to topple the Olympians, but now I’ve found you and we can get right back to that, and that’s what you missed on Glee!’

Cue the rest of the Titans being like......ummm, we have some questions and also some concerns, but Lilith’s just like huh, so what you’re saying is I’m a divine celestial being? Huh, yeah that tracks. Okay, I believe you! But also I don’t like your plan and I think you kinda suck so I’m gonna like....not do that and instead help the gods defeat you again sorry not sorry but I mean yeah, I’m just not feeling it here, I don’t think this mother/daughter thing is gonna work out on account of the you sucking part.

So then that happened and then Zeus was like, hey we’re down a demigod, how would you like to be a goddess? And Lilith’s like yeah, that sounds good, I’m not busy right now. And the rest of the Titans are like umm, Lilith? The team? We do occasionally save the world and protect people and stuff? And she’s just like oh relax, you’ll be fine without me and I’ll be back in time to help out with that alien invasion in a couple years....and Dick’s like wait what, but Lilith’s already gone and getting her demigoddess on. Because, y’know. Its Lilith. She has her priorities figured out.

And then post-Crisis she eventually rejoins the team as the masked and mysterious figure Omen, who wouldn’t reveal her secret identity, because like, she’s Lilith, and she decided hey I’m just not gonna let the team know that its me and just like, idk see what happens. No particular reason.

Except then she’s abducted by this villain named Haze and she has to use her powers to summon the original Titans to free her, at which point her identity is revealed and she’s like yeah, surprise, it was me the whole time, and the Fab Five are all like WHAT THE HELL LILITH, and she’s like WHAT, I WAS BORED, LET ME HAVE HOBBIES.....and also at this time she and the Titans found out oh btw, turns out that whole backstory about you being the daughter of that Titan was a lie, we’re not really sure how that works but just FYI, you’re actually just the illegitimate daughter of this super rich tycoon, and also FYI, Haze is actually your half brother who hates you because of something to do with the dad you didn’t even know existed, soooooo....that’s a thing....

And then she goes back to the Titans for awhile, still as Omen but with everyone now knowing its her under the cloak and mask, the jig is up, Lilith’s like ugh, lame, now what am I supposed to do for fun. But then it also turned out that for some reason that was never actually made clear, now she also had telekinetic and illusion casting powers and she was like ooooh now these I can have fun with. Coincidentally, like, half the team decided now would be a good time to take a sabbatical and focus on their own cities.

And THEN she was kidnapped by Vandal Savage, who wanted to make her use her powers to divine the perfect lineup of bad guys to take down the Titans once and for all, and Lilith’s like ‘well shit, you got me, guess I gotta do what you want,’ except of course she purposely chooses villains she foresees the Titans beating, which they do of course, and then they beat Savage, and Lilith is just like, dude, I know I’m the only precog here, but how did you not see this coming, like seriously, what on earth made you think there was gonna be any other way this was gonna go? OMG you’re so stupid, what happened to all the smart villains, ugh even being kidnapped is boring now, lame.

And then she died, and like, never actually came back except as a spirit in one story and a Black Lantern in that Blackest Night event, and that sucked. But oh well.

Anyway, the point is I miss THAT Lilith, the unpredictable, whimsical, always dragging chaos in her wake and not giving a shit because look its not her fault Destiny is like totally obsessed with her....

She was just a guaranteed source of WTF and she did it all with unnecessary flair and drama and she was one hundred percent a primary reason Dick Grayson was destined to have gray hairs by the time he was thirty, but oh well, that was just the price of being friends and teammates with her, because Lilith was just...*sighs* she was just so Lilith.

That’s really the only way to sum her up. A dozen writers took her in a dozen different directions cuz they couldn’t decide what to do with her so she ended up doing everything and being extremely extra about it which really tied it all together and just made it a universal truth that when it comes to Lilith, don’t just expect the unexpected, like....just accept that with her anything is possible and plausible and the most random shit will end up connected to her and you just gotta roll with it, because that’s just how it goes with her.

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol.16

Fruits Basket has so many flashbacks. There's just so much going on, in the present but also in the past. Last book, it was focused on Yuki, and a section of his childhood. In this book, however, the focus is on Kyo, who apparently met and kinda talked with Tohru's mom, Kyoko. (let's hope I don't confuse their names 😬)

So, most of this started simply because Kyo took a nap on the floor. This is why you don't nap on the floor. Sure, maybe it feels nice, sometimes, to lie on the floor, but if you're anything like me, you'll get stuck. Kyo didn't, but he doesn't have a busted hip, so he has that going for him.

Anyway.

So he was thinking back to when he met Tohru's mom, who started talking about her past. It's never really said why or when this happened, but I'll just think that Kyo forgot about the particulars. It seems like it happened when he was pretty young, so it'd make sense.

It seems like Kyoko's life was kinda similar to Uotami's life, in that her relationship with her parents was abysmal, and she often acted out. She got herself into a "bad crowd", and rarely went to school. Her dad was said to not think about his family, and her mom only did things to keep up with appearances. They never went out as a family, and Kyoko felt ignored and/or unwanted. It was a chance happening that Kyoko even ended up meeting Katsuya (who would later become Tohru's dad). She was at school, and she got called aside and put in a separate room, which is when they first met. She was yelling up a storm, and Katsuya wanted to know what she was so angry about.

This particular incident was shortly after her dad had basically told her that she should be more grateful for what she's gotten in life, to which she responded with "Who even asked me if I wanted to be born?", and this was clearly still floating around in her mind. As she continued yelling at Katsuya, it became apparent that what she was yelling at Katsuya was what she felt herself, which is why is made sense that she quickly broke down into tears. This was especially the case after he said that he thinks she does want people to care about her, and she does care about what people are saying (otherwise, she probably wouldn't be bothered by it). After all of this, Katsuya took her to a ramen place, just completely cutting class.

Kyoko was confused by Katsuya, but after meeting him, she started trying to better her life. It was mostly small things, like showing up at school. She didn't go to any of her classes, but she was at school (which sounds extremely boring to me, but whatever). She was able to talk to Katsuya a little bit more, but not a lot, seeing as he was a student teacher, he had things to do. When the time came for Katsuya's training to end, he revealed that he wasn't going to continue on to be a teacher, that he just didn't like it. This, understandably, bummed out Kyoko, because she was looking forward to seeing him everyday. Once he left, she would probably never see him again. Fortunately for the story (and Tohru's general existence), it wasn't. He ended up getting a job at a pharmaceutical place, and visited Kyoko on the weekends to help her with her schoolwork, and Kyoko tried to get back into school. The gang that she was a part of didn't like that much, and beat her up a bunch for trying to leave it. They beat her up so bad she had to go to a hospital, and wasn't able to get into high school. Her parents refused to visit her in the hospital, and after she was unable to get into high school, they completely disowned her.

Thankfully, Katsuya was nearby (presumably because he wanted to see if she was okay, because after she woke up in the hospital and learned it was too late to take the entrance exams, she didn't try to talk to him, thinking that his help and efforts were all for nothing), and overheard Kyoko's parents, and that's when he announced his intentions to marry Kyoko, which took both her and her parents by surprise. As they were walking away from Kyoko's parent's house, Kyoko still couldn't believe that Katsuya was serious, but he totally was. He said that he saw her as a very genuine person, particularly in their first meeting (which is, he said, when he fell in love with her, which I think is kiiinnddaa weird, but okay), and that he has full intention on marrying her. He wished that he could've made it a bit more of a happy surprise, but in the moment, it was basically the only way that he could guarantee that nothing bad would happen to Kyoko.

Kyoko bristled at the idea of a wedding, and apparently, so did most of the Hondas. There's probably a host of reasons, ranging from how Kyoko was eight years younger than him, to the fact that she used to be in a gang, but there was one person who was supportive of Kyoko and Katsuya: Katsuya's dad.

When Kyoko found out she was pregnant, she freaked out. She didn't feel like she could be a good mother, because of the way she was. How could a person with her background be a good mother? The way that her parents treated her as a kid was awful, and she was terrified that she would end up doing the same to her child. Katsuya pointed out that since she was already so aware of these problems, that she would do her most to avoid doing the same to her own child. They might make mistakes, but they would try their hardest to do their best. And so, Tohru was born. What a cute little round organism.

For a couple years, everything was happy. Katsuya and Kyoko both loved Tohru to pieces, it was great. Then, Katsuya fell sick, and ended up dying. This destroyed Kyoko, because there was such an emphasis on togetherness between the two, especially when it came to raising Tohru. She was completely desolate, almost angry at the world that it continued existing as if nothing had happened. She came out of mourning, a little bit anyway, after going out to see the ocean, and overhearing a mom and daughter talking to each other, and she realized that she couldn't remember if she had even talked to Tohru since Katsuya's death. She raced home, and saw Tohru sitting at the entrance, mostly asleep, and say "Welcome home". It was something that Kyoko and Katsuya used to say a lot, so it meant a lot to Kyoko.

The flashback concluded with Kyoko saying that, "Maybe the world doesn't need me. But there's still one person who's kind enough to need me. I only need that to live." Kyo then asked her if she still missed Katsuya, but Kyoko(why are their names so similar ;-;) didn't really respond. I mean, of course she still missed him, she probably missed him everyday, but she still had to get through life and raise Tohru. It was all about how she went on from that, that mattered.

Then we get reminded that this is, in fact, a dream that Kyo is having, because it swerves completely of track, and now there are bloody women on the ground, with other faceless women saying weird shit. I do not have really any idea who these women are, I assume one of them is Kyo's mom, and maybe the other is Kyoko? I don't really know, but the dream (at this point it's a nightmare) ends with Tohru, wounded and unconscious, in the place of the first woman, and there's blood of Kyo's hands. Whoa! What the fuck!

After he wakes up, he's pretty shaken (with good reason, like wtf, whoa) but after Tohru fretted over him, he just waved off the concern like "It's fine I'm fine I totally didn't have a freaky dream it's fine", which is the number one reaction to something like that, in case you were wondering.

Now, let's move completely onto a new topic: Machi. It starts with a callback to a brief scene a few books ago, after the Student Council had nabbed a whiteboard, and were yelling about what colors everyone was. It focused mostly on Yuki asking Machi what color she likes, and she couldn't answer him, because she couldn't imagine herself as anything other than "blank".

The Council had finished up a bunch of work, and they (mostly Kimi) were thinking of a way to celebrate, by going out to a shop or something idk what people do with their free time, and on her way out, Yuki called out to Machi, asking if she was going to come as well. She didn't really say anything about it, but Kimi gave her a slip of paper of the address and such, and they all went their separate ways.

Machi went back home, to the sound of a phone ringing. It seems to be her mom, asking what she's been doing, if anything's changed, then just kinda called her boring and dull, which is really nice of her to do. We see that Machi had to deal with higher expectations after Kakeru rebelled and stopped putting up with their family's bs, and that her room looks like a storm blew through it. Seeing as that seems to be the way she releases her emotions, it makes sense. And if she never has anyone over, why would she clean up? It'd probably be a waste of time.

After the call, she basically just passes out in her room, and wakes the next morning to shuffle off to go to the place where everyone is meeting up. She didn't even bother changing out of her school uniform the previous day. On her way to the meet-up place, she thinks about how she feels empty, and broken. The things that Yuki has said to her really seem to be making her think about stuff, mostly of her self-perceived lack of meaning, which she either never really thought about before or came to terms with, but after his questions (which were basically like "oh hey what's your favorite color"), she's gotten all confused.

Anyway, when she gets to the place where they're all meeting up (probably nearby a train station or something idk I don't know these things), Yuki shortly shows up, and she responds to his greeting by promptly collapsing, causing stuff to fall out of her bag, like a bottle opener, and that leaf that Yuki gave her as a souvenir of that one place from a while back,, the field trip. She's kinda embarrassed, because she put them in her bag after she had woken up, and so it showcases something most un-admirable: being kinda groggy and disorganized after waking up. When Yuki asks about the Leaf, she says it's nothing, it's not the same leaf, it is the same leaf, it doesn't matter, whatever! (is it important to say that she made it into a bookmark? idk, but that's how it wasn't torn to shreds: she made it into a bookmark)

Kakeru arrives to see Machi and Yuki wrestling over the leaf, one insisting that it's no big deal, and the other saying it was nice that she had held on to it. It was a pretty confusing scene, honestly. After everyone had arrived, Kakeru told Yuki that he'd never seen Machi act so flustered, which was pretty interesting.

I'll conclude this section with one thing: Machi likes the color red? Interesting. Red is a nice color.

Anyway, I'm nearly done! (When did these things start getting so long I gotta cut these down somehow I seriously doubt anyone would read these all the way to the end ;-;) It is nearly New Year's, and there are two things going on: Tohru is going to stay with Kazuma, and Yuki is going back to the main Sohma house, just for the one night. (Tohru is staying at Kazuma's place because Yuki is going to the main Sohma house, because,,,, reasons?? Idk)

There's nothing much of note for Tohru being at Kazuma's house, but Izusu is there as well, so maybe we can get some progression on the whole curse-breaking thing?? Hopefully?? Maybe not.

There is one moment at the Sohma house that I do want to talk about, and it happens between Akito and Yuki, where they're just sitting there, and Akito says something like, "You're not running away anymore? Cool. I forgive you for that." and Yuki starts to say that he forgives Akito as well, then says that he doesn't want to place blame on anyone, because, in the past when he's done that, it hasn't really helped him. He said that there are some things about himself that he would like to improve upon, and Akito swiftly responded to that by breaking a pitcher and scratching Yuki's face with it. Nice, Akito. Real nice.

Yuki gets help for it, but everyone kinda sat there like O_O for a few seconds (which, like, yeah. I'd respond the same way.) While Hatori is patching Yuki up, Yuki apologized to him for what happened back when Yuki was a little kid, with Hatori erasing all those kids' memories, and how he was only thinking about his own pain, and that he might have been blaming Hatori in a way, this whole time. Hatori waved it off, it was no big deal, but it was nice of him to do, nonetheless.

Okay, that was the end of the book. Finally. Why do I make these so long? Idk.

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[mangomochi-yn]

[did i change your mind?]

aoba johsai. iwaizumi hajime x reader

g. kinda confusing fluff but fluff nonetheless

tw. hajime is shooketh   wc. 1.6k

If there was one thing you and Hajime never got along with, it would definitely be the topic of why one gets into a relationship. 

'If you like them—go ahead' was your thinking while as for Hajime— 'only if you like them enough to want to settle'. Maybe this was the whole reason why you two weren’t as close as two childhood friends should be. 

But when that third childhood friend, Tooru, suddenly asks you to fill in for him as Hajime’s plus one to a wedding, well things get kinda messy. 

And it all started when you asked him one thing, just as the bride and groom exchanges their vows and shares a kiss— 

“But isn’t it the heartbreaks that make true love oh so much sweeter in the end?”

"Hah? What the heck are you talking about in the middle of the wedding?" Your brows furrow at the fact that Hajime seems to have already forgotten what you two were debating about earlier. 

"You said 'why do people even get into relationships when they have no plans on settling'." He finally at least slightly looks in your direction. Maybe it was the fact that you were borderline whisper-shouting by now?

"Okay and?" You sigh, really you could never hold a proper conversation with this boy.

"And that's my reply— it's the heartbreaks that make the end game so much better isn't it? Kinda like gaining experience in a game so that the reward is so much better in the end." At the sound of the guests clapping along to congratulate the newly wedded couple, you two stand up as well, you never tearing your gaze from the boy though.

"I can't believe you're comparing it to a game." Jokes on him, he was the one that didn't even like saying the word love, pretty immature for someone that was so adamant against getting into casual relationships.

"How else would I get it into that thick brain of yours then? I would have thought of a volleyball phrase if I had more time." Finally, you look towards the groom and bride, clapping along with the rest of the guests as a smile adorns your face.

You said what you felt you needed to say, so maybe that's why you hadn't noticed how the spiky-haired boy was staring at you in awe— thinking deep about what you had said.

"Oi, Shittykawa, why do you get into a relationship?" Said boy's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he stared at his best friend. Was he seriously asking him that? In the middle of a water break at practice?

"Eh? Are you and Y/N-chan in one of those little debates again?" Bullseye but not quite. Hajime actually hadn't noticed how he asked Oikawa that question.

The only thought in his mind was how he saw you earlier that day, it had been already a week after the wedding, yet your words still stuck in the back of his head — brought forward as he saw you walking around school— clinging to a boy he's never seen's left arm as well. 

He didn't want to admit it but for the first time in how many years, you were slowly driving him crazy. He found himself wanting to know everything that was on your mind, every nook and every cranny. 

"Oh! Y/N-chan, what brings you here?" Oikawa's booming voice echoes against the gym floors— effectively snapping Hajime out of his thoughts at the mention of your name.

"Hey, Tooru! I'm here to ask you about our one english project—" Sending a small wave to Hajime, he couldn't help but just stare at the way your eyes crinkled as you smile.

"—did I change your mind?" Wait, were you talking to him now? His eyes almost bulge as he racks his brain for an answer to your vague question. Did he change his mind about why people should get into relationships?

"—I told you I could do your part for the project if you promise to give me that milk bread recipe your mom always makes, so let me know if you’ll do it, Tooru."

Oh, but what a fool he was.

Noticing how your gaze was back at the captain's, Hajime's face turns a gushing red at how worked up he got by himself from assuming you were talking to him.

It wasn't until he heard your laughter at something the captain said did Hajime burst out his seat on the bench to march towards the locker room and wash his face to drown his senses.

"Oh and I accidentally made extra onigiris for you and Haji—" The bang of the locker room's doors were what made you aware of your other friend's sudden outburst.

"What was that?" Oikawa just shrugs. "He's been moody all day." But then as if a lightbulb went off his head, Oikawa then suddenly starts pushing you towards the locker room, a big smile on his face. You came to learn that that was never good news.

"Maybe he's just hungry, Y/N-chan! You should give him those onigiris and he'll probably feel better." You knew for sure that Hajime wasn't the type to lash out because of hunger, but before you could even argue back at your troublesome friend, you had already been shoved into the empty locker room, the door clicking locked behind you.

"I'm gonna murder Tooru, I swear." Deciding if you should just stay by the door until someone eventually opens it, you were finally greeted by the only other person in the room— half naked nonetheless.

You could only stare as he gazes at your form hunched by the door. After blinking for a few moments and seeing your cheeks turn a red hue, Hajime finally shuffles to wear a shirt, leaving you a blushing mess.

"Did Shittykawa shove you in here?" His voice was a bit gruffly but soft nonetheless, finally easing some of your nerves down.

"Uh.. yeah. He said that you might've been in a bad mood cause you were... hungry." How you made it sound more stupid than Oikawa himself, you didn't know.

But at least it didn't seem to offend or bother Hajime, instead he stared at your face with that pensive look in his eyes as if a million and one thoughts were all scrambling in his brain. 

And they were.

As he sees you stand there in front of him, a small bento in hand, Hajime couldn't escape the thoughts that plagued him since that day of the wedding.

"Dating someone just because you like them..." His voice came out a whisper you almost couldn't tell if you heard him right. Was he... thinking about what you said at the wedding? That's impossible, right?

"Uhh.. I accidentally made extra onigiris and brought some for you and Tooru." He only stares at your outstretched arms, waiting for him to take the small bento from your grasp. 

"Um but actually you can have them all. That stupid Tooru and his crazy ideas shouldn't get any—"

"I wanna try it." Thank god, you thought you were going to have to ramble off for the tension to ease.

"Oh, they're just normal onigiris, here—"

"I wanna try dating someone just because I like them."

Oh shit, he wasn't talking about the onigiris.

Wait... so is he saying he likes someone at the moment? And that he wanted to try dating them?

"Um, well good luck at that I guess then." You start to scratch the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a look of confusion from Hajime.

Did he want you to teach him or something? Did your childhood friend and one-sided crush of how many years really want you to teach him how to date someone else?

"You asked me if I changed my mind and that's your only reply?" Okay, now he was really getting confusing. It didn't help that he was starting to walk your way now, the doors were still locked, you couldn't exactly escape.

"When did I—" Then it dawns on you. Is that seriously why this airhead stormed out while you were talking to Tooru earlier?

"I was talking to Tooru, Hajime." 

"I know, but I couldn't help but think you were actually asking me too." By now, he had you trapped at a corner right by the door, your heart was beating at your chest. When did that start happening?

From this far you could actually smell the musk of his cologne, his eyes looked sharper than they were, and for a split second you were sure he was going to ravage you. Until—

"I wanna try it too— the heartbreak."

"Pfft." It catches him off guard how your once trembling expression suddenly easily turns into that of amusement. Your laugh lightly echoes across the room and he couldn't help but blush at your small giggles seemingly mocking him.

"That's not exactly the best way to ask someone out, Haji." Still wiping the tears off your face, his blush deepens as you shake your head. 

"But for you, is it okay?"

You would be lying if you said you expected that, but at this point anything was possible and hearing your childhood friend, your longtime one-sided crush, the boy that refused to go into a relationship unless it was to settle— hearing him ask you out so timidly was a whole new sensation in itself. 

A sensation you would be damned if you missed.

"Hmm, no, I actually take that back, Haji." His eyes widen as you loop your arms around his neck, pulling him closer despite his confusion. Yeah, you definitely couldn’t miss out on this.

"Let's scratch off that part I said about the heartbreak, Haji. Let's go straight to the ‘oh so much sweeter’ part instead."

a/n. yall are probs like what is she trying to say? where is this going? idk either guys 😪 i just thought that first dialogue was neat then i was like aight bet or whatever. sigh i did not give iwa chan justice im sorry.

a/n. everybody lets say thank you oikawa though— that little shit actually did something

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 13 + 14.11.20 lbs

13.11.20

i’m just gonna skim through this one, coz i don’t wanna dwell on the death and maatam and all.

hahahahahahahahaha riddhima is screaming at god for letting this happen and kabir is like “bhagwaan ko beech mein kyun laa rahi ho, mujhe bhi toh credit do!” i truly love this crazyass fucker.

riddhima continuing to scream at god about vansh jissne “KOI KABHI BURA KAAM NAHI KIYA HAI” ?!?!?!!?!?!?!? sis what the fuck???? first of all, none of us over the age of like...... 7, are truly sinless. and THIS MAN PARALYZED AND THREATENED TO KILL YOU MULTIPLE TIMES, FFS.

KABIR IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I AM KABIR

now she trying to throw herself off the cliff and for some reason i cannot understand, kabir is holding her back????? literally why, my bro????? let her die, saaari musibatein khatam. ugh, you still have some kinda residual feelings for her from your not-that-kameena days, don’t you?

asalkdjaldkjsaldkjsalkdjl riddhima ke andar OG prerna ka bhoot chadh gaya, she hitting kabir with danda the way Mother India did dhulaayi of yudi in the disco (still one of the most iconic scenes of tellywood for me, istg)

dude, idk if it’s just ego waale possesive issues or he still has feelings for her, but kabir def wants riddhima to be “his girl”. even after danda beating he’s trying to help her as she stumbles around in sadma.

anyway she sauntered off rubbing that stupid muffler of vansh’s on her face. SIS YOU GONNA BREAK OUT IF YOU RUB SUCH GANDA KAPDA ON YOUR FACE.

5 min of flashbacks of vansh. fwding.

family (dadi, chanchal, and all the rest of the riff-raff) has come back home and ghar is all dark.

weird how angre is also with them. i woulda thought he’d be on whatever tasks vansh set him on, instead of doing mandir yatras with these assholes.

mummy has decided to break news in most non-tactful way ever. wearing all white and has set up photu with haar already.

yeah, requisite screaming and crying blah blah. nahi dekhna.

i’m only here for ishani and angre’s reactions. bechaare look genuinely devastated. i mean dadi does too, but bohut hi zyaaaada overdramatic and i’m getting uncomfortable.

riddhima has returned.

to her surprise everyone already knows. zara dimaag lagao behen, how they even found out before you reached??? (ok no i understand you’re numb from trauma rn and can’t think of all this, but i hope your idiot brain thinks of it later.)

WHY THE FUCK IS DADI YELLING AT RIDDHIMA KI TERE HOTE HUE KAISE HUA YEHHHHHH, WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TO TAALOFY GIANT COSMIC DECISIONS LIKE LIFE AND DEATH????? isse apni khud ki jaan nahi sambhali jaati, let alone someone else’s.

holy shit she’s actually saying, “tu toh uski dhaal thi, uske liye tuney goli khaayi thi, iss baar kaise chook gayi????” MAN, FAMILIES OF DESI BOYS REALLY BE FUCKIN WILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS FROM BAHUS. one time she took a bullet for him wasn’t enough????? you want her to actually fucking die before something happens to him. god forgive me but i really wanna slap this dadi rn.

mummy cooking up some fucking ridiculousssssss story about gunde in the house and how vansh was chasing them and gaadi khaayi mein gir gayi and god knows whatttt

ok she’s saying siya got the call about it and she was running down the stairs while in shock and now whoopsie daisy, she’s in critical condition (probably in a coma or some shit.)

aryan looks sad at the siya news. thank god this mummy ka niyana has basic consideration for someone else other than himself and his mother.

mummy ka rona dhona drama fwding.

ishani is now yelling at angre. which..... kinda deserved. you’re his safety person dude.

ok too much crying. fwding.

riddhima asking mummy why you lie to family about how he died. mummy like how tf i tell them police dragged him out and he died in an encounter for trying to escape. it’s better for them to not know the truth. which.............. ok fair, but coming from this shadyassss woman......

god this mummy ka ainvayi praising vansh waala scene is going on too long. fwding.

riddhima back to room. some more flashbacks. OUFF. FWDING.

obligatory kamre ka tod-phod scene. FWDING!!!!!!!!!!

fell asleep crying and holding one of his coats.

LMAO ISHANI KA MANN NAHI BHARAA GHAR KE ITNE CASUALTIES SE............ SHE’S LIKE WHAT’S ONE MORE????

dadi slapping ishani for doing what any one of us would do, honestly, so.... whatever. fuck off dadi.

ishani telling 100% truth ki jabse this useless b has entered my bhai’s life, his problems have been never ending, i’m fucking sureeeeeeeeee she’s the reason he’s dead. the only voice of reason in this show, truly.

dadi all WOH EK HAADSAAAA THAAAA, NOONE CAN CONTROLLLL THOSEEEE, oh yeah, not the sentiment that you were expressing to riddhima when she walked in, you stupid old bat. whatever, i’m fwding this scene.

kabir and mishra have entered house. coz they are awwal no. ke sadists. need to get off on watching this family cry and suffer.

LMAO THE LOOK RIDDHIMA GAVE KABIR. HE’S LEGIT SCARED OF HER.

angre bhi staring daggers at kabir. chal hatt, i know for sure you’re behind saving vansh and stashing him somewhere to crawl out whenever it’s the right time. 

body nahi mili blah blah blah

lol this one’s face clearly says milegi bhi kaise, main tum logon ki tarah nikamma nahi hoon. i have 16% success rate. it’s low but it’s more than y’all 0%.

lmaoooooo oh DOW DIGGY DIGGY DOW DIGGY DOW DOW, i love you sooooooooo much.

ALSO WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO MAAROFY THE PUN KI “MAINE VANSH KE VANSH KO MITAAAAA DIYAAAAAAAA” severely disappointed in you, kabir.

yup. appropriate response. to just generally all the men in your life.

lmao riddhima like you arrested vansh ONLY COZ I LOVEDDDDDDD HIMMMMMMMMMMMM. lol the amount of self delusion. sis, his feelings for vansh were faaaaaaar more powerful and intense than anything he ever felt for your dumb ass.

kabir saying there’s nothing left for you here, why don’t you come back to me and lmao............... he tried.

 “riddhima nahi. riddhima vansh raisinghania.” 

ok whatever you say, sis. i’m just grateful to god this manhoos episode is finally over.

———————————————————————

14.11.20

redo of last scene.

lmao kabir is like I HATED VANSH WAAAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOUR DUMB ASS FELL FOR HIM. YEAH I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU PICKED HIM OVER ME, BUT I’M NOT SO BAD THAT I’D TAKE REVENGE FROM HIM FOR THAT. yeah, dude. he just wanted his money; not youuuuuu. like..... chillll. kahaan se aata hai logon ko itnaaaaa confidence khud pe???

kabir saying i had proof vansh killed ragini, i found his watch there next to the body. she’s like i had it, i took it to repair it, and ragini died in front of me. vansh wasn’t anywhere near there.

lmao she’s back to shoving him around. what an annoying bitch she is. 

kabir like did you SEE who shot ragini? no????????? then it could very well have been vansh, right????? plus i got that footage from 3 years ago.

she’s like hein hein heinnnnn where you get it from when i burnt that chip????????? OH NOW SHE’S USING HER BRAINNNNN. SO WAS VANSH THE ONE RENDERING HER SO FUCKING STUPID? NOW HE’S NOT ADDLING HER BRAIN WITH LUST HORMONES, HER 3 BRAIN CELLS ARE FINALLY WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! take this as proof, ladies. MEN MAKE YOU FUCKING DUMB AS SHIT BY JUST MAKING YOU BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEM.

kabir saying someone from inside the house probably saved it and sent it. and that vansh made all this happen by taking mishra’s gunnnn and forcing them to take the sunsaaaan paaath and he tried to runnn and blah blah blah.

again he’s asking her to come be with him and she’s like gtfo i don’t wanna see your cuteass face anymore, you’re dead to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok she didn’t say the cute bit, i did. i think y’all already knew that. but how to resist??? he sho cute!!!!!! 

mishra like this b kuch zyaada nahi bol gayi???? 

“dil par jo chot lagti hai, woh nazar nahi aati, but ghaav bohut gehra hota hai. yeh dard maine bhi mehsoos kiya tha, jab riddhima mujhe chod ke chali gayi thi vansh ke paas.” heinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? now he suddenly is/was truly in love with her again???? bhai, tu decide karle, ki if she’s just a pawn to you or something more. ainvayi jhool raha hai idhar udhar.

mishra like, ok whatever, but where vansh’s body tho???

clearly not him. the head shape alllllll different.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS THEY FINALLY PUT RRAHUL’S FINE ASS IN JEANS!!!!!!

again, no wedding ring. dead body is not vansh.

“bhagwaan jaane kahaan chali gayi uski laash.” lmao i really loled the way he delivered the line. i really love him the mostttttttttt.

kabir you are honestly suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh an idiot, if you think not getting his body is a good thing. DON’T YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL??????? AT ALLLLLLLL????? NO BODY MEANS HE’S STILL OUT THERE, BIDING HIS TIME TO FUCKING COME GET YOUUUUUU.

he’s like good, vansh didn’t even get antim sanskaaaar. who knew kabir was sooooo religious??????

vansh so efficient and independent ki khud ka kriyakaram kar raha hai. aatmanirbhar ho toh aise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not before he maarofied his own pocket tho.

“bohut jald iss VR mansion ke aage KR mansion ka signboard hoga.” hein???????? the R in there is for RAISINGHANIA. why the hell would you add one random surname to your name??????

YEAH. I KNOW THOSE CHITTAAA-ASSS EARSSSSSSS.

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BHAGWAAAAAAN NE MERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SUNNNNNNNNNNN LIIIIIIIIII THEY MADE HIM SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE ASALKJDLKJDSLAKJDLASKAS

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THE DUMBASS FAKE DEEEP VOICE IS GONE TOOOOOOOOO ALKSDJSALKDJLASKJDLSAKJDLASKJDLASKJDLKJLKS I JUST

styling also EXAAAAAAACTLY HOW I LIKE IT.

helllllllllllllllllllllllo hunny. NOW YOU’VE MADE THIS SHOW FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY WORTH WATCHING. bas thodaaaa saa tharakkkkk ka maska i need to make my tellywood viewing experience sooooooo much easier. AUR WOH MUJHE AAAAAAJ SE MIL GAYAAAAAAAAAAA.

ok 13 days later.

bitch looks better after going through life-altering trauma than i do on my most stable mental health days.

talking to portrait about how the misery is unending, etc. etc.

kabir still calling her. WHY??????? dude just take the L and move the fuck on.

lmaooooooo mummy is like 13 din rone ki acting kar karke aankhon ki band baj gayiiiiii. 

standard mwahahahahaha we succedded bufoonery from too complacent evil ppl. dumb dumb dumbbbbb!

but let’s admire this evil cutie bean.

riddhima’s mangalsutra which she justttttt set down on that bureau missing. she in a panic.

ofc these two are behind it.

ishani wants the truth about that dayyyyyyy and aryan jumping in about how riddhima never loved vansh and just always doubted him and blah blah.

my question is since when aryan loves vansh bhaiiiiiii so much huh???????

anyway. this happens. and those two are left plotting some more about getting the truth out.

VIHAAAAAAAAAAAN is the new name.

seeeeee????? i knew his ass had some lucrative skill in the current economy. he some tech bro types.

CAN YOU BELIEVEEEEEEEEE THEY HID THAT FUCKING JAWLINE AND THOSE DIMPLES UNDER THAT BEARD FOR 5 WHOLE MONTHSSSSSSSSS. FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS CRIMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unf, boy got cake. that ass just needed shirali to stay tf away from it.

also askdjalskjdlsakdjlaskjdlkj they turned ragini’s container waala room into his hacker man cave. what a wonderfully multipurpose room!

honestly, i’m just soooooooooo relieved i can just watch this show for eyecandy now. kaleje ko suchhhhhhhh thandak, yougaizzzzz.

banda khud vansh ke net worth (5000 cr.) ko dekh kar hairaan pareshaan. yeah, this much wealth accumulation is fucking immoral, asshole. you vansh did deserve to get thrown off a fucking cliff.

show laaaaaaaaaakh convince karne ki koshish karle ki yeh koi aur hai, my bullshit meter says it’s vansh vansh and no one else but vansh.

unrealistic af, someone PRINTING photos out in this day and age. what kinda tech person are you???????

lmao he’s checking out each photo for each family member and the commentssssssss.....

rudra chacha and chanchal chachi: “kaafi expressive faces! koshish bhi kare chupaane ki toh bhi chupaa nahi paa rahe ke lomdiii hain yeh ghar ke.”

aslkdjaslkdjlsakjdlskjdlksj i already like him better than old vansh.

aryan: “doosron ke bharose jeene waala.”

ishani: “raisinghania hone ka bohut ghamand hai, magar bechaari ki shaadi angre se ho gayi.”

how he know that if he not vansh????? angre not even in this set of pics.

siya: “kehte hain jo chal nahi sakte, unka wifi network bohut strong hota hai..... kab, kahaan, kya pakad le, koi nahi jaanta.”

“aur yeh hai....... RIDDHIMAAAAA....... iss parivaar ka most special aur khoobsoorat member.”

“moh aur maaya...... dono ka mel [...]”

yup, i definitely like this cheeky and cheesy persona better than the murder-threatening-paralyzing shit we had to put up with earlier. happy days, you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stennnn06]

if the show were to bring sam back, what would you hope to see?

besides the obvious, and that is andrea/sam staring across the room at each other with HATRED in their eyes? jk. (im not kidding.)

no but seriously, if we ignore odie’s scheduling issues and pretend we could have her back on the show, sam is like... the perfect CHARACTER plot hole filler. ignore actual plot, because like - what even IS going on in this show ever? but i’m talking like emotional, DEEP, character plot holes that i just wish we could have more exploration with. [and i know, we have too many characters, there’s Crisis which makes no sense, etc. but lets just...indulge me for a sec. you asked! lol]

sam gives the perfect excuse to dive further in lena’s past - have some flashbacks, make some shit up, do whatever. show more about their connection prior to Reign.... with her, lena and jack back in metropolis - it doesn’t even have to be gay, it can just be like... giving lena more substance besides her family drama (which i LOVE, and you all know i love). but we also know sam and jack gave lex and lillian THE BUSINESS too, and i wanna hear about it. i wanna see lena-sam’s first meeting. i wanna see sam’s reaction to lex’s bs. i wanna see lena tell sam she’s moving to national city and have sam make fun of her for it but ultimately support her. i just wanna see more reasons why lena is so GOOD.

sam also gives MUCH more weight to andrea and lena’s relationship as well. rojascorp is already pretty great with what’s implied, but if i can’t have true previous-history reigncorp (which we know happened, but for canon we’ll pretend it didn’t), then i picture something like from @i-am-robie ‘s wedding date AU where sam and jack are just like Team Lena forever, and the shade they throw against Andrea after her betrayal would be HUGE. sam, who we know has been ACHING for a real reason to hate andrea the whole time would be all OVER it. and so it makes andrea more well rounded than just the weird (ex)girlfriend vibe and nonsense with leviathan...and is just so JUICY. so then you’d have this present day tension where sam wants to defend lena, and andrea is reeling with how to put their relationship back together, and she hates that lena loves sam so much enough to save her life...and lena is just like -- i’m a luthor i don’t have friends (but literally you have just as many as kara at this point). and they’d go round and round and i’d get my sam-andrea hatred, but they’d probably be forced to work together to help lena against lex, and it would be SO FUNNY and delightful. andrea having to listen to sam? sam having to follow andrea’s lead? oh GOD.

plus then, it also puts kara in this weird position of like.... where do i stand with lena? oh god i HATE my boss but i have to pretend to like her....and SAM is here, and she REALLY hates andrea, and i really like sam.... and oh boy this is uncomfortable for everyone. like i could watch a show that just revolves around that for.... more seasons than i’d like to admit, lmao.

and then there’s also alex and kelly. who i REALLY want to be invested in, but i struggle when im just handed a relationship that took 2 episodes to develop. BUT if you insert sam (NOT to break them up) just to have a conversation - like imagine she meets kelly? and she feels all these weird feelings about what she almost had with alex, but she realizes kelly is so amazing, and she sort of has to deal with stepping back and allowing alex to be happy. that’s some DRAMA right there, but its in a good way. and it gives dansen more weight, because its just this added thing that makes you think. idk that’s just one suggestion out of many.

then, because everything is fake and time doesn’t matter and we retcon things in canon anyway simply due to laziness, i think they could dive deeper into her story overall as a kryptonian - make some shit up and have her actually have some kryptonian background, and her and kara can go down that entire path of really figuring themselves out and sharing this history together. it can be the friendship we always should have had for kara, where there’s an equal who struggles and UNDERSTANDS and has to come into their own. even if sam doesn’t keep her powers (i’m ok with either one, just explain it - although i’m always down for her to have SOMETHING).... it would just be great growth for kara without it having to be about a love interest. and maybe lena helps her figure out her powers or develops a weapon or two for her - OH AND BONUS - maybe she joins alex to fight some serious street crime. WHO KNOWS.

anyway, thanks for coming to my Why We Need Sam Arias forever Ted Talk.

[retrievablememories]

no manners | lucas

title: no manners pairing: lucas x black!reader genre: angst, implied smut request: “Aww thanks✨😊 Hope it’s not too much(I have a wild/creative imagination😌) Could you write a fic where Lucas is married to an African American who lives in America while he’s in China with WayV. One night after a call where Lucas suggests she go out with friends because she’s too lonely, she drinks too much and ends up going home with a stranger. When she wakes up she finds out what she did and a few days later she finds out she’s pregnant 💁🏿‍♀️that being said ain’t do it if it’s weird” word count: 5k warnings: workplace sexism/harassment, infidelity, alcohol use, mentions of intoxicated sex, mentions of pregnancy, emetophobia warning, mentions of blood, medical setting, angst!! just sad shit man a/n: hard to think of a good title, idk. the song’s about a sad relationship so close enough? ion fuck with drake anymore but passionfruit was the soundtrack for this one lol

You wake up in the middle of the night again—you’ve been doing it a lot lately. Your head aches a bit and your throat feels dry. You reach for the bottle of water on your nightstand and drink from it, though it doesn’t make you feel any better.

Pulling the covers back over yourself, you turn towards the empty side of the bed and feel that familiar pain settle in your body again. There are painkillers for physical discomforts, but what do you do for this kind of ache that comes from deep within the heart? You sigh and simply close your eyes, trying to block out the feeling. 

It’s been over 3 months since you’ve seen Lucas in person, which might as well be the equivalent of several lifetimes for you. You knew this was going to be inevitable once you got married, and even while you were still in the dating stage you experienced it. But you’re not sure if you could’ve accounted for just how intense it would feel now. It’s different now. You’ve made a home together—are going to have a family someday—and yet you barely get to spend any time together.

Burrowing deeper under the covers, you curl yourself up as small as possible, as if you can squeeze out the pain by leaving no more room for it.

Even work is bland now. You work at a firm for a fairly popular magazine in your city, and although your duties keep you busy most days, even those things are starting to lose their appeal. Your peers certainly don’t help.

“You look like you’ve been going through it,” Your coworker Daniel says over lunch. Your other coworker, Patrice, elbows them in the side for his indiscretion.

Your jaw clenches. You have to make an effort to relax your body and gather your thoughts before responding. The last thing you need right now is to lose your job, although you already know Lucas could support the both of you if necessary. “I’m fine. Just a little sleep deficit, but I’ll live.”

“Don’t mind him,” Sharia says, rolling her eyes. “We all get a little worn out sometimes. I hope things get better for you soon.”

“I’m just pointing out the obvious,” Daniel interjects, holding his hands up in surrender. “Don’t shoot the messenger. Sharia’s right, though; we all know how you’re feeling.” No, you don’t, you think, resisting the desire to scoff in his face. “Work’s been pretty hectic the past few weeks.”

“Yep, real busy,” you say curtly, not wanting to draw this conversation out further. It’s clear that he thinks he’s making some kind of connection with you, despite him knowing jackshit about anything that’s going on in your life. His presumptuousness has always rubbed you wrong.

“Absolutely. Hopefully the big boss will ease up on us soon here.” You think Daniel is done, but then he speaks again, and Patrice puts her head in her hands. “Anyway, how’s everyone’s home life faring from all this? You and the husband doing all alright?” You know that last statement is specifically for you, and it makes you even more weary.

Sharia shifts uncomfortably as if she can feel the tension you’re experiencing. She’s the only one on your job who knows who you’re married to, as you didn’t want to let your other nosy colleagues in on your life. She’s the only one you can trust to keep your business on your front porch where it belongs. 

“We’re doing fine,” you say, keeping your voice light. “How are you and your girlfriend?”

“Actually—are you sure you and dear husband aren’t having any problems? You know...of the bedroom variety? Maybe that’s part of why you’ve been so stressed lately.”

“Jesus, Daniel!” Patrice exclaims in disbelief.

“You’re way out of line.” Sharia gives Daniel a warning look. “We’re at work, this isn’t gossip hour. I don’t think you need another HR report under your belt.”

You continue to sit with your hands clasped together, digging your nails into the back of your hand and watching the wall clock count down the minutes until the lunch break ends. Still 10 minutes left. If this were any other setting, any other person, you would’ve cursed Daniel out and likely given him a good backhanding, but he knows you can’t do anything here. And that’s precisely why he does it.

“What goes on in our lives is none of your business,” you say slowly, trying to keep your voice even. “I don’t know where you pull this crap from. You should listen to Sharia.”

“I hope that’s not a threat, because we all know the boss doesn’t care,” Daniel scoffs. “I’m not going anywhere, so you girls might as well get used to it.” Thankfully, he decides to take his leave at this point, collecting the rest of his lunch and stalking back to his office.

Patrice and Sharia exchange looks, and you merely sit and continue staring at the clock, watching the hands count to the next hour. It’s all you can do.

You’re relieved when you step through the front door of your house that night. Or maybe relief isn’t the word for it—but there is definitely a sort of deflation that happens once you pass through the threshold. You feel sapped and tired, and you can only think of scraping together whatever leftovers you can find because you’re too tired to cook a new meal.

As you walk into the bedroom, you remember that you and Lucas are supposed to video chat tonight, and that makes you feel a little better, but not as good as it could. You glance at the empty side of the bed and sigh heavily.

The rest of the evening passes by simultaneously too slow and too fast. It’s almost like the weight of your depression is dragging down the rest of the world and making time flow in a strange, nonsensical fashion. You eat your leftovers, watch bad reality TV, and even try to check a few work emails before your mind drifts off again. You keep replaying the events at lunch and getting upset again, though you don’t want to.

By the time the hour for your video call comes along, you’re curled up on the bed holding your phone tightly, waiting for it to ring and your husband’s name to flash across the screen. You answer almost instantly when it finally does.

“Yukhei,” you breathe out once his face appears on screen. The sight of him is enough to make your eyes sting immediately, and your throat is choked off with tears.

“Y/N!” Even through the phone speakers, his voice is loud enough to fill your room, and your sudden laughter at his excitement is enough to make the tears building in your eyes finally fall down. Lucas leans closer to the screen, his features drawing into a concerned expression. “Oh, shit—Y/N, what’s wrong?!”

You’ve stopped laughing now but the tears keep flowing, and you wipe your eyes futilely. For a while, all you can do is shake your head and keep crying as Lucas coos to you on the other end of the phone, growing increasingly concerned about your emotional state.

You put the phone down to wipe your face, and only then are you able to calm down enough to speak. “I just hate everything.”

Lucas frowns. “What do you hate, baby?”

“This fucking job, I hate Daniel, I hate being talked to like I’m an idiot, I hate…I hate you not being here.” You pick up the phone again. Your head hurts from crying, and you put your forehead in your hand as you look at Lucas on the other line.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish I could be there with you. You know I’d kick his ass for you...and anyone else who makes my baby cry.” He sighs and chuckles, though there’s no real humor to it. “Maybe I should kick my own ass too, then. I’m always away from you, and I know that doesn’t help. There are moments everyday when I wish I was there beside you, but…”

“It’s not like you can help it,” you say, and you feel powerless to do anything about it. “You shouldn’t...feel bad about it.” If only you could take your own advice.

“It’s impossible not to.” Lucas’s fingers drift to his wedding ring, twisting it around his finger like he does whenever he’s distressed. It’s become a subconscious thing for him at this point, but you always notice, and it comforts you to know your relationship can be a solace for him. “I have the other guys here, and it helps, but...who do you talk to when you’re feeling alone, besides me?”

“Ugh…” You lean back against the headboard. “No one, really...I don’t want to bother Sharia with my issues. Or my other friends. I feel like everyone already has their own stuff to deal with…”

Lucas leans forward again, as if he’s talking to you face-to-face. “My dear wife, I won’t pretend to be your therapist, but I think I have a prescription for you.”

You laugh and shake your head. “And what would that be?”

“You should go out. Take a few days off from work, leave the house, do whatever. But I really think you need to be around other people.”

“Go out?”

“Yes, with your friends! You’re cool with some people from work—Sharia, at least. Or your college friends, if not your coworkers. Anyone. I don’t want you to be spending all your time alone.” A melancholy note enters his voice. “And since I can’t be with you now, I want you to at least get out without me.”

“I don’t know...”

“What’s wrong?”

“The problem is that I miss you. Going someplace where you aren’t isn’t gonna help.”

“You’re so stubborn,” Lucas says, but his voice is warm with affection. “Just do it for me, please? You don’t think it hurts me to see my lovely wife so upset? I only want you to be happy.”

Your heart warms at that, and you look up at the ceiling, not wanting to start another wave of tears. “Well, okay...you’re right. I’ll try it this weekend. But I’m still gonna be thinking of you the whole time.”

Lucas smiles. He brings his ring finger close to the camera and kisses the band of metal. “For life, right?”

You mirror his actions. “Always.”

The next day, you catch up with Sharia at the copy machine. 

“Hey girl, how are you doing?” she asks, feeding more paper into the machine. “Not too bad after what that fool said yesterday, I hope.”

The mention of that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, but you shake your head and pretend to brush it off. “I’m fine, no one’s thinking about that sleaze. I was wondering if you were up for hanging out this Friday? It’s kinda short notice, but me and some friends are planning to go to a club…”

Her eyes light up at that. “Oh? Which club are y’all going to?”

“The one on the same street as that new five-star restaurant that just opened up. Apparently it’s a bit exclusive, but one of my friends claims to have direct connections, so we’re gonna try it out.”

“Oh, to be rich and glamorous.” Sharia laughs. “Sure, I’ll go. I’m always up for some fun. Anything that’s not this damn job.”

“Great! You know where I live, just swing by around 8?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Sharia looks like she wants to say something else, but Daniel strolls into the room and she rolls her eyes, quickly turning back to the copy machine.

“Hey ladies, what’s going on?” Daniel leans against the wall as if he plans to pull a long conversation out of you, but you shake your head and walk out.

“Bye, Daniel.”

Sharia follows suit, grabbing her documents out of the machine and not even checking if they’re correct before following you out. “Yeah, not gonna happen.”

The Friday night that you head to the club is unexpectedly hot. It rained hard earlier that day and the air is still thick with humidity, which makes you grateful you’re gonna be spending most of your time indoors. Your friend’s connections come in to save the day, just as she promised, and your group of five is soon standing in the club without having to wait in a hot line all night.

Your friend leads everyone over to the VIP section and you all sit down, marveling at the club’s sleek interior. Everything is all glitter and glass and steel, giving the building an almost futuristic look.

“We need some drinks, there’s no way I’m spending all night in a club like this sober,” one of the girls suggests. The others agree and spend a few minutes playfully arguing over which drinks would be best to get before standing up.

Your friend notices you’re still sitting down. “Are you two coming with, or do you want us to order for you?”

“Just order something for me, doesn’t matter what it is,” you say, waving your hand. Sharia agrees. She waits until the others leave, then turns to you with a serious look.

“You should quit.” You stare at her, wondering if maybe you’ve misheard over the loud music.

“Quit? My job? Do you hate having me around that much?” you joke, though you feel confused and a little hurt.

“Now you know—what I’m saying is, we both know who your man is. I think you would be fine if you just quit and started looking for another job or even stopped working for a while. There’s no reason why you should have to stay there and keep putting up with Daniel’s shit.”

You don’t hate the idea. It’s one you’ve thought of numerous times before, but you’re not confident about taking the first step towards it. “I don’t think it’s that simple...having a job keeps me busy. I’d probably die of boredom if I didn’t have work. And anyway, I’m not really ready to be a housewife...especially considering that my husband isn’t even there half the time.” Your mood drops a little when you think of this. Sharia notices and tries to pull you back before you lose steam before the night even starts.

“Hey hey, it’s just a suggestion! You don’t have to do anything except whichever choice will be easiest for you. I’m just trying to look out for you girl, God knows no one wants to be harassed on the job everyday.”

“I hear you. But I don’t want to think about this anymore,” you groan. 

When the other girls come back, you take your drink and immediately down half of it in one go. You need something to distract you from the bad mood attempting to creep up on you.

“Well damn, okay! Someone’s eager!” you friend shouts, and everyone else laughs.

The rest of the night goes similarly, quickly spiraling out of your hands before you can really realize it. The alcohol makes you unable to think about any one thing for too long, which is what you want—maybe even need. You lose track of how many drinks you have and how many songs you dance to. All you can feel is the burning in your throat and the blissful emptiness of not having to think, worry, or stress. For once.

At some point, someone’s hands are on your body and you think maybe it’s one of your friends, but none of them would touch you like this—or kiss you like this. It’s not Lucas either, it can’t be because he’s still in China isn’t he? but you want it to be Lucas, it should be Lucas, so you return the kiss anyway, and there’s more touching and feeling—

until you end up in someone’s car, a taxi maybe, it’s not the car you came in but that doesn’t matter either, just the hands and the sensation of it all, of being touched by a person other than yourself when you haven’t felt it in a long time—

and maybe if you close your eyes for long enough it will be him.

The first thing you notice is the splitting sensation in your head. You don’t remember how you got into your bed or how much you had last night, but you haven’t experienced a hangover like this since your college years, so it must’ve been a lot. You groan and bring your hands to your head, also noticing that your bonnet is nowhere to be found. You must’ve been really wasted last night.

You reach for the water on your nightstand, but it’s not there. In fact, nothing’s there. Your hand meets air, and you suddenly feel slightly alarmed—where’s your nightstand? You finally crack one eye open only to see a room entirely different from the one in your home. 

You jolt up, which only makes your head throb harder, but you can’t be bothered with that right now when you’re in a strange place. Pure panic explodes in your chest as you look to the side and see a strange man sleeping next to you in bed—his bed. You can only see his top half, but you can assume he’s naked underneath, as you are equally nude.

“Fuck, no,” you blurt out. You throw the covers back and move as fast as you can to collect your strewn clothes, not really caring if you wake the man up at this point. You just know you’ve got to get the hell out.

You pull your clothes on and dial for an Uber on your phone, sprinting out of the bedroom just as the man starts rustling in the bedsheets. You realize his place is some sort of luxury apartment, which means he’s probably one of the many famous or semi-famous men who frequents that club. That idea makes you panic more as you unlock the door and run out of it; you don’t have the patience to wait on the elevator, so you take the stairs two at a time.

You’re full-on shaking by the time you get to the bottom and end up outside on the sidewalk. Some people passing by give you sideways glances at your presumed Walk of Shame, with you still wearing your club outfit, but there’s no room to think about their judgment. You’re too busy being eaten alive by your conscience.

The ride home is mostly silent. Your driver tries to strike up a conversation at first, but they realize you’re in no state to talk and leave you to your thoughts. With your hangover, the sun’s brightness feels like nails stabbing into your skull, but the pain gripping your heart still manages to be worse.

Your wedding ring feels especially heavy on your finger, like solid lead weighing you down. You badly want to take it off, but you also don’t want to remove one of the few things tying you to Lucas right now. The conflict tears you apart. You almost feel like your ring has become a sentient thing, burning your skin and pinching your finger with the threat of cutting it clean off.

You scrub yourself for what seems like an hour after you get home. When you finally get out of the shower, you end up in the armchair in your room, sitting in your towel and simply staring at the bed. Lucas’s side of the bed. The side of the bed where a picture of you two sits framed on the nightstand, one you took on the day of your wedding shoot. It seems to mock you now, saying, Look at what a good thing you had. Look at what you’ve destroyed.

The ring burns again.

Monday feels surreal in a sickly way.

You don’t call or text anyone over the weekend—not even your friends who are worried and demanding answers for what happened at the club. You feel like maybe you shouldn’t be, but you’re angry at their demands; why didn’t anyone stop you if they were so concerned? Weren’t they all there, too? Either way, it’s too late to think about “what ifs.” What’s done is done. You don’t want to talk or think about it anymore. But that’s impossible.

Stepping into work doesn’t feel real. No one knows anything except Sharia. All your colleagues still greet you like you’re the same person, the same hardworking employee and loving wife they all know. It’s better that they don’t know, but in some irrational way, this also makes you angry. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t treat me like I’m the same person. My life is ruined; nothing can ever be the same.

Nevertheless, you interact with them all like it’s any other Monday and play along with their tired banter even when you want to scream to the world that none of this matters. You do a decent job of avoiding Sharia during the first half of the day, occupying your time with assignments and then creating busywork when you finish those. 

Until lunch. Then there’s nowhere left to run.

You go to your car with the excuse of picking up your food today—even though you don’t intend to do anything but sit in the parking lot—and no one questions it but her. She follows you outside. You don’t even have the energy to tell her no. You’re at least glad that she doesn’t speak until both of you are safely in the car and away from other ears.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know if that matters,” you say blankly.

“Well, it does. You might have made a terrible mistake, but you’re still human.”

“There’s no way to be okay after this. Sharia, what the fuck am I gonna tell him?”

“There’s nothing you can tell him but the truth. He deserves to know that much, at least.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Y/N, it’s better to get this over with sooner than later. It’s only going to hurt worse if you wait. What would you do anyway, just ignore his calls?”

You grip the steering wheel. “...Maybe. If I have to. I don’t know.”

Sharia sighs. “I can’t tell you what to do with your life. But he will need to know at some point.”

“He’ll hate me,” you blurt out, a tear already rolling down your cheek. You try to stop them from coming, but this is the first time you’ve allowed yourself to cry since it happened. You’ve surprised even yourself with how long you avoided this part. The dam has no choice but to break, sending you into a cascade of tears as you rest your head on the steering wheel. 

Sharia’s arms are warm around you, but her embrace does nothing to make you feel better. You feel as if you don’t deserve this kind of reprieve from her. And certainly not from Lucas.

A couple weeks later, you sit in your OBGYN’s waiting room, your body stiff with fear and anxiety.

You haven’t talked to Lucas in the entire time since you went to the club that Friday night. You know there is no way he’d go that long without talking to you, though—which is why you blocked him on every avenue you could think of. To be safe, you also blocked all of this group members, making sure there would be no way for him to get into contact with you. 

You feel like you’ve lost your mind with the lengths you’ve gone to—what if he thinks you’re kidnapped or dead?—but you’re more afraid of facing him. The thought of looking in his eyes while your transgression swims in the back of your mind makes your stomach pitch to the floor.

And you would like to think that’s the only thing making you sick these days. But you can’t ignore the odd pains and nausea and sudden spotting even if you wanted to. It’s what has landed you in this doctor’s office today, with your hands tucked between your knees and your head spinning as you try to ignore the bitter taste of bile rising in your throat. 

Eventually, you can no longer push it back, and you go to the bathroom to empty your stomach—even though there’s not much there to begin with.

When you leave the restroom, a nurse is standing outside in the lobby, her expectant eyes landing on you.

“Mrs. Wong?”

“That’s me,” you say weakly.

“Hi! Come on back so we can get your vitals. I hope you’re doing okay today…” You follow her into the back rooms to get poked and prodded, your blood pressure and temperature taken and your height and weight jotted down on a chart. You don’t pay much attention to what she’s saying. Every word sounds like it’s being filtered through a foggy telephone. 

You return to reality when she hands you the transparent cup and the pregnancy test to take, and things become even more painfully clear when another nurse comes in to take your blood. You know the blood test results will take longer to come back, but you requested it anyway. You have to be sure.

Despite the nurses’ cheerful demeanor, you feel cold and isolated when you use the test in the small restroom. The feeling only worsens when the doctor confirms the reading and happily shakes your hand, unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge your dread.

It’s positive.

That weekend, you finally unblock Lucas. Your mind is in a tangle while you do it, but you can’t avoid him any longer.

You don’t know if he’ll even answer your call. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Maybe he’s busy with practice or even asleep. But what makes you feel worse is that you know he’d never ignore you if he wasn’t otherwise occupied.

His name only stays on your phone for a few seconds before he’s immediately picking up the video call, his face suddenly appearing in full color before you. He seems panicked, almost dropping the phone in his haste to answer it. When he rights the screen again and sets it on a steady surface, his expression is difficult to decipher. Then it turns into pure discontent.

“Do you have an explanation for this?” You’ve never seen Lucas this irritated before, and it makes you tremble. It can only get worse from here. “I called and texted and nothing got through. I look on your social media and I’m blocked on every platform. What is this, Y/N?”

You can only shake your head. The words are stuck in your throat. You chew the inside of your cheek, unsure how to respond.

“This isn’t a joke, Y/N. What’s going on?”

Your grip on the phone tightens as your stomach ties itself into a knot. You feel sick again, but you can’t throw up now. “Yukhei, I went t-to the doctor, I-I’m pregnant.”

Lucas pauses, and various emotions flit across his face in the span of a few seconds. His eyebrows draw together in something akin to confusion and hurt. “You’re...pregnant? Why the hell did you need to block me for that? Please don’t tell me this about my career again. Baby, listen to me—”

“Yukhei, I’m only 4 weeks.”

Lucas’s words drop off completely. His body stills, and for a moment you wonder if the video has paused. Your palms sweat and your skin prickles. He sits back in his chair and looks off to the side as if he’s trying to gather words. Finally, he says,

“What are you telling me? Because this isn’t what I’m hearing, is it? This is some kind of prank, right?” His voice gets louder and more frantic towards the end, though he struggles to keep from outright yelling at you. “If you want to play games, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can say—there’s no excuse for it, but I was drunk, I-I was lonely, I just don’t know—” You form a fist with your left hand, digging your nails into your palm, and the warm metal of your ring against your skin threatens to burn you again.

Lucas lowers his head and pushes his hands through his hair. He keeps his head down like this for a while as you stumble and try to explain yourself, your words devolving into barely decipherable sobs.

“Shut up. Just shut up!” His words are muffled from him covering his face. He’s never talked to you like that before, which makes you want to cry more, but you don’t say another word. “I just don’t want to hear it. I’ve sat here everyday and thought of you, counting down days until I could come back to the U.S. to see you, and this is what you give me.”

You merely sit and listen with your heart trying to burst in your chest. His words feel like knives being thrown at you; the pain is practically physical.

When he finally takes his hands away from his face and looks up, his eyes are wet and red with tears. “This is impossible. I need time to think about this.”

“I-impossible? Wait, Yukhei—”

He hangs up the call before you can finish speaking, though you aren’t sure what more you could’ve said to him anyway.

With nothing but your screen staring back at you, a sense of unease seeps into your body and makes your limbs stiff. You want to reach out for him, want to make him see that you never intended to hurt him this way. You don’t want to lose everything you’ve built this soon. And yet, you can already see it all slipping through your hands.

You are more alone than ever.

[the-hopeless-haze]

Somebody Sit in My Chair and Ruin My Sleep (Being Alive Ch 15)

A/N: Idk how I feel about this chapter but here u go I guess lol

Previous Chapter

content warnings: implied smut

WC: 1.9k

Rafael didn’t have any idea what he was walking into on Monday morning, but Jesus Christ, the fact that you let the squad know what happened - down to the very last detail, it seemed - was a horror show. Amanda avoids him in some show of female solidarity, Nick shoots him sympathetic looks, and Sonny - fucking Sonny asks Rafael how he is and won’t stop asking how you were, if he’d heard from you.

But why should he expect mercy from the woman who turned down his proposal?

And maybe he deserved it. Maybe he should’ve tried to read the room instead of just pushing forward. You had been right - that night certainly wasn’t the prime time for a proposal in the slightest. Hindsight is always 20/20, and he keeps remembering moments where you were slipping away inch by inch like sand past his fingertips, and he can’t believe how stupid he was that he chose to swallow it down and chalk it up as nothing instead of sitting down and actually talking to you.

Still, communication is a two way street, and instead of sending him vague signals that he was too obtuse to decipher, you could’ve sat down and talked to him too.

It’s so much easier to assign blame than take it, isn’t it?

Ultimately, though, he just couldn’t believe you weren’t on the same page as him. Didn’t you always say you wanted all these things? Weren’t you happy that Rafael finally felt he was ready, too? Perhaps though, in the midst of all his internal turmoil he truly forgot to assess your feelings on the matter. Yes, you said you wanted children, yes, your parents constantly threw comments his way about settling down with you, and yes, you’d told him on multiple occasions he wasn’t too old to get married if that’s truly what he wanted.

But where was your actual opinion on marrying him in any of this? It was lost in between the need you no doubt felt to constantly comfort Rafael about his current misgivings and past misfortunes and your parents’ well-meaning but busy-bodied comments. It was clouded by Rafael’s own mother’s opinions, and hell, even Sonny’s - everyone was so afraid Rafael was going to lose you that they pressured him into offering you a ring and a promise of forever - but little did anyone know that by doing just that... he had in fact lost you anyway.

His mother was devastated, weeping about how you would’ve made such a lovely bride, how she was already looking at suits for Rafael and venues for the wedding... he couldn’t handle it and left her apartment after ten minutes of her lamentation. He should’ve never told her, he should’ve never been so sure of what was going on in your head, because now he realizes he never had any idea. No one did.

So now, he snaps at Sonny, because Sonny is guilty by way of telling him “oh sure, she’ll say yes” like anyone knew what the fuck you would do when the question was finally asked. Maybe you didn’t even know until he was down on one knee. Still, Rafael can’t help wondering if things would be different if the car accident never happened - deep down, he knows there were signs you were pulling away after Thanksgiving, but it’s so much easier to blame Sonny for it. You wouldn’t have sunk so low in a deep depression if you could’ve worked, if you weren’t immobilized by your injury... but would you have loved Rafael enough anyway?

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Rafael hisses at the younger detective. “You’ve been talking my ear off all morning.”

“Whoa, Barba, wake up on the wrong side of the bed today or what? I was just getting you up to speed on the case—“

“I’ve read the file. You don’t need to.”

“Fine. Liv’s in her office but I suggest cooling the attitude, because she’s not in a good mood either. Noah was sick and kept her up all night.”

“Lovely.”

And then, by some sick twist of fate, you walk through the door, and Rafael’s stomach turns. Never did you look so gorgeous, so beautiful, so fucking untouchable than you did now. It’s the first time in weeks he’s seen you in a blazer and slacks, the first time he’s seen you look like you gave a shit in months. And maybe that’s unfair - you were struggling, per your own admission - but it almost feels like all you had to do was lose the weight of Rafael and all his baggage that came with being in a relationship with him, and you were good as new.

He wonders how many of his exes could tell a similar story to yours, if that were truly the case.

You meet his eyes for a split second and he wants to drop dead. You give him a haughty smirk and head over to Amanda’s desk, turning your back to him.

Why couldn’t you just fucking leave like you’d said you would? It’d be so much easier if you did just go back home but like everything else that came out of your mouth that was merely a half baked promise you had no intention of making good on.

And maybe Rafael should’ve called you this weekend, but he couldn’t swallow his pride and come back to you with his tail between his legs after you rejected the proposal he’d worked all his life to be able to give. You never called him either, but if this was going to go anywhere, someone would have to talk first.

But shouldn’t it have to be you? You’re the one who asked for space. He’s giving it. What the fuck else was he supposed to do?

But now that you’re not living with him, now that you’re not even with him at all, you’re completely unpredictable. Never in his wildest dreams did he think you’d come over to him and Sonny, flash him your best sardonic lipglossed smile, and ask to borrow Sonny for a moment.

Rafael can’t even think straight, he can barely breathe, the rage coming up like bile and tightening his throat. How could you stand there and act like nothing was different now?

“Sure,” he snaps.

“Whoa, no need for the attitude, Rafael,” you say sweetly. “We can all play nice, right?”

Rafael doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything… he just shakes his head and walks to Olivia’s office. How could you compartmentalize like that, he’d love to know. Wasn’t this killing you, too?

The rest of the day proves to go by smoother, thankfully, albeit minor annoyances that come up like a snippy altercation with Olivia due to both of their bad moods and a taxi driver haggling him about the fare. Rafael still cannot wait to come back to his office and savor his fourth cup of coffee today after running around the city all morning, put his feet up and do some paperwork…

But you’re there, in his chair, with your feet up on his desk.

“Get out,” Rafael says before you can utter a word.

“I want to talk,” you say innocently.

“I don’t. Get out. Who the hell let you in here?”

“Carmen, duh. She still thinks we’re together, apparently.”

“Do I have to call security?”

You stare at him blankly. “You’d really call security?”

Rafael rolls his eyes, throws his briefcase on a nearby chair. “What the hell do you want?”

“Where do we go from here?”

“Nowhere. You ended it.”

“Okay, no, I just said I needed space. I didn’t end it--”

“Right. I need to work.”

“Okay. We’ll meet later then,” you nod, standing up.

“I didn’t agree--”

“I’ll be back in a few hours. I got to head back to the precinct in fifteen minutes anyway.”

Rafael hates doing this, showing a moment of vulnerability, but he has to ask, “Are you staying? In New York, I mean.”

“For now,” you say, softening too. “Obviously. I talked to Liv for a long time, talked to my dad.. And… I don’t know if being back home is the best course for me either. I’m just trying to get back to some semblance of normal, you know?”

“Right.”

“I’ll see you,” you say, walking past him and leaving his office.

How many years would it be before he did figure you out?

------

The two of you don’t really talk much at first when you reunite later on that evening. Rafael draws the shades in his office, and it’s all pulling at clothes, at skin, at hair and you’re not proud of it but you also don’t really regret that you let it get that far. You missed him, in an annoyingly cloying way, and what was better than makeup sex when the two of you were still pissed off at each other?

“You need…. You need to go to therapy,” Rafael pants after coming down from his high.

You have to laugh at that. Maybe that was only the 7th most offensive thing someone had said to you after sex. And, annoyingly, he was right, even if his delivery and timing could’ve been light years better.

“Mm. I know,” you tell him, pulling him in to kiss him again, his sweaty chest sticking to your back as you pull off him to lay, or rather squeeze next to him on the couch.

“You need to--”

“Let’s not get into the shit I need to do right now, okay? I know I have things to sort out. So do you.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I’m trying to help, and I’m trying to understand, but--”

“Right now… don’t. Just fuck me like that again.”

Rafael chuckles - damn, it was only two days and you missed his laugh that much? It just tugs on your heartstrings in the worst way, but you suppose it proves how much you love him, how you couldn’t just put this down. You hated being the first to let your guard down, to bring yourself to his office not once but twice… but you couldn’t bear to lose him, either, and you’d hurt him where no one else had. It had to be you who offered a new start.

“I need to eat, mujer. And as tempting as that sounds… we need a change in location anyway.”

You nod in assent. “Fine.”

Neither of you get much sleep that night, as you split a bottle of wine and a pizza and talk, cry, fuck, whatever… but it’s a long sleepless night you wouldn’t have traded for the world. Things are different between you two, naturally, but something has to be shed to grow, and maybe you left some good things behind along with the bad things, but it’s how these things go. You can’t expect a relationship to be standing firm after a rejected proposal. For the moment, you’re just happy the two of you found a way to get back up.

As you curl into Rafael’s arms at four in the morning, you don’t feel at peace - lord knows you still have so many things to worry about - but you do feel better, and if that’s all you can get right now, you had to be okay with that.

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