#whatever you won't hear me complaining too much - that's what this fandom is for

[fuckmeyer]

blows my mind there's not even a Chinese coven in The Twilight Saga. no Indian coven. only ONE coven in the Middle East/Africa: EGYPTIAN. no Greek coven, no Iranian coven, no Afghan coven, no Ethiopian coven, no Nigerian coven; FUCK ancient civilizations i guess! no one in South or Central America but the AMAZONS???? for real?????? the POTENTIAL to incorporate LEGENDS and HISTORY and CULTURE — wasted! i CANNOT with this author thinking the only vampire civilizations exist in Europe & America!! fuck off directly into the sun!!!

[romanarose]

The Ghost of You

Banner by my dear @commonmisery

Ghost!Joel Miller x fem!reader

TLOU 2 SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU"VE BEEN WARNED!

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Summary: After moving into Jackson, you're put up in a house that hasn't been lived in for years. Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Can you help Joel move on to the next life to be with his daughter? Or will you keep him here selfishly with you?

Warnings: TLOU 2 SPOILERS, ghost!sex, mentions of violence and the things Joels done and what happened to him. bittersweet ending. Body marking and blood but it v consensual. It's loving.

A/N: This is my goodbye to writing Joel. I've made a few statements on thi before and if you've followed me for a while you know why. I won't rehash it. But I wanted to write this idea I had talking to @multiversed-daydreamer as my goodbye. i won't say it my last joel forever but it is for along time. all other series are cancelled. I am also just largely essening my writing for p-boys but I'll still be around witing frankie and javi and marcus sometimes. You never know. My main focus rn is logan howlett, triple frontier, and my original content

This is my love letter to the Joel fandom that has given me so much love and friendship

Looking for something similar? Brother by @macfrog is Tommy saying goodbye, and The Devil's Wife is devil!Joel, similar theme of halloween by @noxturnalnymph

8.5 words

It was cold. That was annoying. How you’d wandered your fucking way out to Wyoming, you’ll never understand. One minute you were in Florida complaining about the heat, now you were being treated for frostbite in your toes.

You’d arrived in Jackson last afternoon, nearly frozen to death and had been crashing in the clinic bed ever since. The doctor, a nice older man, took care of you and a few nurses checked in overnight, and today you were cleared to get settled. Word of mouth had told you Jackson was the place to go, a safe haven, a community where people actually take care of each other. Maria Miller, the town founder, had just left your room saying she’d be outside doing paperwork whenever you were ready for the short tour. You’d get the full spiel eventually, but right now the frostbite made walking a little hard. She'd just show you her office, the mess hall, a few quick essentials and then take your to your new home.

That was when you heard shouting outside the door. One voice was Maria, the other you didn’t recognize. It was hard to hear, but you listened in with your ear pressed to the door. 

“It’s been 3 years Tommy. I know this is difficult for you but-”

“You don’t know shit!”

“Excuse me? Who was there for you when you drowned your feelings in moonshine for years? Who took care of Walker while you went off on pointless revenge missions!”

“Don’t you bring him into this. Don’t fucking do that shit, Maria, you know I had too.”

A beat of silence. “You had to do whatever you had to do to deal with what happened. We forgive you, we took you back here and the whole town in glad for it. But Tommy… Jackson is growing. We need the space-”

“You never fucking liked him! You never wanted him around! I bet you’re glad-”

The shouting began to overlap each other, voices raising until you were uncomfortable enough with the man’s temper you grabbed your gun and opened the door, pointing it at him.

“Settle down there, cowboy. Ain’t nice to yell at a lady.”

*

The next few minutes were embarrassing, to say the least. Maria explained that Tommy was her ex-husband. She didn’t go into the argument, but she assured you, not without gratitude, that firstly she could handle herself, and second that Tommy wasn’t a threat.

After Tommy left with a pointed ‘fuck you’ in your direction, you turn back to find Maria rolling her eyes. 

“He’s a good man. I promise. Good dad, works hard, takes care of his people. He just gets… well, there’s some sore spots. C’mon let’s get you home. I bet you’re tired.”

Settled into the house that felt way too big for just you, your thoughts drift to the man. He was older, 50’s maybe? Dark brown hair with a few streaks of gray and tired lines around his eyes, but handsome. He was so angry, and angry at you. What the hell did you do? You hadn’t even been here a day! Fucking unreal. Men were men no matter where you went, but their temper tantrums never ceased to amaze you. 

The house was pretty empty. You’d been given a few furnishings, but the house was stripped of all character, certainly taking apart everything the previous owner had. Had the place been occupied since the world fell apart? Or had someone who lived here died? You wondered how. You wondered if they had family, or if the town was their family. 

The kitchen had kindly been stocked up pretty well, and you’d been given some toiletries so after eating, you enjoyed your first warm bath in a long time. Running water, and it was warm? Fantestic. You boiled a pan of water and tossed it into the tub for some extra heat just how you liked it.

In bed that night, that’s when things got weird. You felt a coldness wash over your body, a shiver you didn’t expect under the warm blankets. Then the window unlatched and flew open. You gasp, fearful at first, but then justify that since it’s on springs, the latch must’ve been not done right and just sprung open. No big deal. But then you felt a hand on your cheek and you froze.

It didn’t linger more than a second. The touch was fluid, but not wind, not air. There was a roughness to it, the distinct feeling of a large hand cupping your face… but you weren’t scared. Instead, you felt calmed. Relaxed.

It became routine, after a few weeks, you refused to go to sleep until you felt it, the touch of warmth on your face, and you felt safe. It didn’t take long for you to believe you had a ghost; after the cordyceps, ghosts were never far from disbelief, something you’d always been open to, but the question was who.

That would be answered soon enough. You could just ask, yeah, but you wanted to find out, in their own words. As the days progressed, you’d been given time to recover and adjust before working, so you spent a lot of time settling into your house. This was not without its encounters with the ghost. More and more, they seemed to get stronger, able to do more, communicate more. There were items shuffled around, bigger and bigger until the couch was moved.

“I don’t like it there.” You said out loud, pushing it back a few feet.

They moved it again.

“Come on, you’re being annoying.” You move, just for it to get moved back again.

You throw your hands up in the air. “Fine! At least be useful and carry the chair upstairs.” No response, no movement. “Dick.” A gust of wind through your hair and you giggle.

You scribble together a make-shift ouija board, a circle tied from some guitar string you found in a box the ghost knocked off a shelf that must’ve not been cleaned. 

Candles lit, you cross legged on the floor, you try to get information. Requests for the name came up empty, but the string moved to  “yes” when asked if they were a man.

“How old are you? Or- were you?”

5. 6.

“Old man.” You chuckle when wind brushes your hair. You’d learned this was his way of teasing.

“How did you die?”

D-o-n-t-g-o-g-o-l-f-i-n-g

“Don’t go golfing? What does that mean?”

No response.

“Was that a joke?”

Yes.

“Well, I don’t get it. You know that, right?”

Yes.

“Fine, don’t wanna talk about death I see. Fair enough, never been there myself but I heard it’s not fun. Uhhhhhh got any kids?”

2

“Go on.”

2 g-i-r-l-s. 1 d-e-a-d.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that… where is the other?”

I-d-o-n-t-k-n-o-w

“Shit, i’m sorry about that too. Must be confusing.” Not knowing where your daughter is must be hard. “Is your other daughter with you? In the afterlife I mean?”

e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g-i-s-d-a-r-k

That broke your heart. “Must be scary.”

Yes

Then, the string moved again.

N-e-w-t-o-p-i-c

a-b-o-u-t-y-o-u

For whatever reason, this makes you blush. You spend the evening telling him about yourself, sharing details and asking him the same. He didn’t like talking about his family, refused to answer any more questions. Wouldn’t say his name.

But it was the first time you’d been called beautiful over ouija board, you knew that much. 

Even after you began working, every evening you’d run home to spend time with this ghost of a man. The most people saw of you outside your day labor was a pop into the mess hall to take food home or the clinic as they checked you were recovering okay.

“Don’t see much of you.” The doctor commented. “You adjusting okay? I know it’s a lot to get used to.”

You blink in confusion. You were fine. Happy, even. Sure, you didn’t get to know anyone… but why would you? You did your part for the community, then you went home. Hell, you volunteered extra hours sometimes, picking up more than your fair share. You just didn’t want to get close, that’s all. People died, you’d learned that hard lesson early in life, and learned it over and over and over again. There was no point in making friends, falling in love. Not when it was all so fragile.

But you had your ghost man. He had already crossed that barrier, so there was nothing to fear. Nothing to lose.That night, you talked out loud to him about your day as you always did, he made little sounds knocking cabinets together or brushing a breeze on your skin to let you know he was listening. Sometimes winds rustled your hair when he thought you were funny. Then, the wind turned into a gust, and two firm hands pressed you down the hall, the message clear.

“Jesus! I’m going I’m going!” You follow the breeze bushing you. Fuck he was getting more powerful every day. Pushed to the kitchen, you’re face to face with the fridge.

“If this is a fat joke- hey!” Two distinct fingers pinched your cheek and you laughed. “Okay, tell me what you want!” A breeze, and you hear a fluttering between the fridge. When you bend down and dig around the dust bunnies, you find a piece of distinct photograph paper, and pull it out. On it was a picture of a man, 30’s, maybe 40’s if you were pushing it, his arm wrapped around a hung girl holding a trophy. They looked happy.

“Is this you?”

The picture ruffled in your hand. 

“And the girl, that your daughter?”

The pictures motion was repeated. This looked like it was from before, from long ago… you assumed the girl was the daughter that died.

“It’s so cute…” You traced the picture of your ghost, having a face but no name still. Your feel warm, a blush creeping around your skin and a deep heat settling in your stomach. He was handsome. You’d never really pictured him,, besides a few wandering thoughts here and there, but nothing stuck. You put his picture on your fridge.

At night, the image of his face danced in your head, unable to sleep. It was weird, this friendship you had with the ghost in your house, but you didn’t really care. There were worse things in this world, darker ways to cope. So what if a dead man made you happy, made you blush and grin and giggle. So what if he was the reason your hand was currently being shoved into your PJ’s. 

You’d be lying if you hadn’t touched yourself that first night, but this was the first night you pictured his body on your, his face, that beard…

“Are you watching me?” You asked, panting. That was a first too. You knew there was a possibility he watched, but you didn’t really care. Never had. Now, you hoped he did.

A pause.

Then, the liquid touch of a hand on your face. He was here. He was watching.

“Good.” You assure him, hoping he stays. “Want you to watch.” Your fingers begin to pump in your cunt, and you kick off the covers. So what if it was cold, you wanted him to see you. You thought about what it would be like to feel his face buried between your legs, what his voice sounds like, how he’d touch you-

“You can touch me, if you want. Not just my face.” It was a bold statement. Things with you and him had been friendly, close, a little flirty… but nothing so far had suggested more. For a moment, you thought he wouldn’t. Maybe he just watched to watch. Maybe you embarrassed him and he left.

Then his touch landed on your face, slowly trailing down, down, until you could feel hands on your breasts. The slightest brush on lips ghost the shell of your ear, your cheek, and your heart swells. He wants to kiss you. 

“You can kiss me. It’s okay.” It wasn’t as strong a touch a his hands, but he ridgid texture of chapped lips touch yours, and ripples of pleasure flow throughout the erogenous zones on your body, far ore reach than two hands ever could. It tickles, and it feels fucking good.

“Wish you were here….” You mumble, still fucking yourself as hips bucked against yoru fingers, sopping wet sounds fill the quiet bedroom. “Never connected to anyone the way I have you.” A squeeze on your leg reassured you, and soon your tits were being messaged in a way clumsy human hands couldn’t do. It was like the rolling ocean crashing and waving and peaking on the tender flesh, a surreal experience to your touch-starved body.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m f-fuck, you’re gonna make me cum-”

Then you hear it, clear as day, sharp and quick against your ear.

“Joel.”

His name. You cry it out as your pussy clenches down on your fingers.

*

After that, ghost sex was something you and Joel regularly engaged in. He couldn’t really speak much still, usually only getting out one word. Generally it was ordering you to cum, sometimes a single word compliment slipped through with a southern accent.

“Beautiful.” He whispered as you lay in bed, satiated and panting.

He thought you were beautiful when you came.

There was never another reason to go anywhere outside of your home other than to work or get food, and more and more you just got groceries and worked with what you had. You liked cooking with him ,you didn’t want to be away.

Today, as you tried to make soup, you couldn’t help laugh as he managed to speak “More seasoning” and lift a fuck ton of herbs up and into the pot. At least he was a helpful ghost.

“You can just make it next time!”

You expect to feel your hair rustle, but instead his voice speaks.

“Tommy.”

Then a knock on the door. You were so startled (people never visited you) you almost didn’t answer. No one outside that door could be worth time away from Joel, but he pushed you to answer, a desperation in his actions that matched the tone he spoke the name.

When you answered, you would have shut the door if you weren’t curious about Joel’s reaction.

There stood the man who got in a shouting match with Maria. Oh, yeah, Tommy, that’s right. But why was he here? Tommy was tall, but his posture at the moment was sunken, sheepish. When he looked at you, pink dusted his tan skin. “Can I talk t’yuh?”

You narrow your eyes. “Sorry, but the last time we spoke you weren’t exactly polite enough for me to feel like welcoming you inside, and every time I’ve seen you, you give me dirty looks.”

He nods. “I understand, that’s why I uh… wanted t’explain myself. I shouldn’t’ve done that, but I was angry. Ain’t right, still…”

“What could I have possibly done to you?”

His eyes were large, brown, and wet. “This was uh… my brother’s house. He died 3 years ago.”

*

5 Minutes later, Tommy was sitting on the couch with you, cup of soup in hand. You hadn’t felt or heard Joel, but this was your chance. Some answers.

“Funny.” He pats the couch. “This was his. Was right here for years, never moved it.”

“It’s uh… a good stop. Now, I think you had some explaining to do?”

“Right…“ Tommy rubbed the back of his neck. “The house has been empty since he died. My wi- ex wife, I guess, kept it empty out of courtesy but she was right. It was time to move on.”

“Did he die in here?”

He shook his head. “No.”

Tommy explained it to you. The revenge that was enacted on his brother for saving the girl, Ellie. You wondered if that was his daughter he mentioned, but Tommy just referred to her as his kid. How the woman and their group killed him, Tommy saw his brother's head bashed in, brain matter on the walls. 

The gold joke still didn’t make sense, but you’d figure it out. You learned more about Joel too, that he was from Texas, that his daughter, Tommy niece, died on outbreak day. Joel’s birthday. Joel played the guitar, he liked to swim, was an overbearing brother and loving dad. He was married once. He learned to cook to get Sarah to eat veggies so he was pretty good at it. Was a good man. The best, the way Tommy spoke.

“I know it ain’t right the way I’ve treat’n yuh. And I know it’s not your fault. I just hadn’t been handling his death well, you know? Lost my wife, almost lost my son… I ain’t been the man he raised me to be. I now you don’t… do anything. In town. That’s probably my fault and I’m so-”

“You think I stay home because I’m avoiding you?” You nearly bark out a laugh, his eyes growing in confusion. “Man, I ain’t scared of no man, if I wanted to go to the movie nights I would have!”

Tommy processes this information, sipping on the last of the soup broth. “Oh… I guess I just assumed...”

“Well, you know what they say about assuming. Make’s an ass out of you and me. Here, gimmie.” You take his mug, walking to the kitchen to rinse it and still giggling.

Tommy follows you. “Well I’m sorry! I guess I just figured, the time’n ‘n all.”

You throw a look over your shoulder. “I stay home because I like it here. Because I’ve been alone for years, so I’m fine with it.”

“But why not-” He stops in his tracks. “Where did you get that?”

You follow his line of view and realize your mistake. “Uh. I uh. I found that while cleaning the kitchen, by the fridge. I guess I thought it was nice, so I hung it up… why? Who is it?”

You knew the answer before he even spoke Joel’s name. You had to pretend to be surprised, but even worse, you knew what you needed to do.

“Keep it.” You say, pushing the picture closer to him, breaking you a bit. You had to hide ever emotion, because there was no reason for you to have any attachment to it. He didn’t know what you and Joel shared with each other. Who he was to you. It didn’t matter, because Joel was his brother. The girl was his niece. He deserved the picture.

“That’s here. That’s Sarah.” Tommy continued, confirming your suspicions as his finger trailed over the girl. 

“She’s adorable.”

“Yeah… she was. Great kid too.”

Tommy helped you wash up the dishes from making soup, you and him talking more. He was nice when he wasn’t yelling. You could understand why he was so upset at the time, and you forgave it.

You told as much as he stood in your doorway. “I don’t hold it against you. I promise.”

He nods, smiling and looking more at ease. “Promise you’ll come to the next movie night, it’s tomorrow. It’ll be good for you, I promise.”

“What’s playing?‘

“Scream 2!”

You roll your eyes. “Not the first one?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tommy says with a tease. “Is fucking scream 2 at the end of the world not enough for you?”

You shove him out of your door, laughing. “Fine! I’ll fucking come. But only to see Timothy Olyphant.”

You shut the door, and turn around still laughing. But what you see shocks you so bad, you’d have screamed if you didn’t cover your mouth.

It was Joel. Faint. Barely there. A dead eyed stare. Much older than the picture and his hair was longer. But it was him.

“Joel?” You say, tentatively walking towards him. He wasn’t looking at you, instead, he was looking at the door, unmoving, unblinking, unbreathing. Your hand passes through him and when his form dissipates, you fall to the ground and cry.

*

“Are you mad at me?” You ask. He was strangely quiet the rest of the day, only a few little touches here and there. No ghost sex that night. When you are getting out of work clothes and putting something warm on for the movie, you bring it up.

“No.”

“Well, you’ve hardly talked to me. Is it because I asked Tommy as those questions about you? I;m sorry, it’s just easier that way and I wanted to know what happened to you-”

“I miss him.”

Three whole words. 

“You’re getting stronger. Did you mean to appear to me yesterday?”

“You saw me?”

“Yeah, and I hear you really good now.” You grin. “I can’t believe you’re talking this much. Maybe I’ll skip the movie, I don’t wanna lose-”

“No. Go.” a brief pause. “Please.”

“Joel Miller,” You tease him. “Are you having me check on your baby brother?” He rustles your hair.

*

So, you started hanging around Tommy more. It started as filling Joel in on his life, but really, you liked being around Tommy. He was easy to talk to. 

You lay on your side in bed, trying to picture his face as you’d done every night for months as you talk to him. Joel’s voice was clear, fully communicating with you now. Every now and then you could see a glimpse of him in a mirror or the faint frozen picture of him standing somewhere, usually after Tommy was over. 

“Walker is doing really well.” You tell him about his nephew you’ve met a few times. For a few years, Tommy was barely around after Joel’s death, most of the time he was drunk. There was an incident several months ago whereTommy passed out of the couch and Walker tried to start the stove, resulting in a small kitchen fire, and Tommy effectively lost custody of his son. Not that family court existed here, but Tommy knew he couldn’t be there. This was shortly after you moved in, and was the reason Tommy finally got sober. Things were going better now, and he’s repairing that relationship.

“You met him?”

“Yeah, he’s quiet. But he’s very polite.” Tommy said he takes after Joel. Walker and Joel had been very close before he died, Tommy adored the little boy. The little boy in question was now 8, growing up.

He sighs. “Yeah, he was a good kid. I never had a son, figured raise’n Tommy was close enough. But when I was with him… Sometimes I think back to when Sarah died, how hard Tommy fought to keep her alive… yuh know, after she died I was just, I was drowning in my sadness. There was no room for Tommy’s grief, I guess. He’s stronger than I gave him credit for, because he was always there for me. If I had lost Walker… I dunno if I could have been that strong.”

A few days later, you invite Tommy and his son over for dinner, and as you stare at Walker eating his food and laughing you can see Joel. He’s no longer a still picture, he’s moving, and smiling, and laughing too. No one else can see or hear him.

But he looks right at you.

*

You can see him now, laying on the pillow beside you as the pair of you talk. Sometimes he’s tangible, hands touching your face and you can see his tan skin through your peripheral. Sometimes it’s more faint, like he’s using all his strength to be see and he can’t materialize his touch. You don’t know how it works, but you’re happy to see his face. Joel has kind eyes, a softness in a world of blood and violence.

“You're beautiful.” And it’s your voice whispering it to him, because he is. Every line on his face, the scar on his forehead, the tired darkness under his eyes as if an eternity to sleep wasn’t enough. Every little freckle you could map on his face on days he was more clear. It was perfect. It was him. 

A sadness crosses over those pools of brown. “I really don’t deserve you…” When you open your mouth to protest, he continues. “I’ve killed people.”

That wasn’t a shock. Who hasn’t? “I have too.”

But Joel shakes his head, curls staying in place as if gravity is now inconsequential, as if he’s frozen in time with a single lock on his forehead. “No, I’ve killed innocents. A lot. Me ‘n Tommy, before… and protect’n Ellie…”

You thought about this for a while, a chill of cold reminiscent of when he first came to you makes you shiver, but when you look at him, you don’t feel the repulsion you know he expects. “You kill children?”

“No.” He says firmly, a glimmer of sadness crossing his eyes. You didn’t think so, knowing he knew what that loss was. “But that don’t make it much better.”

“Did rape anyone? Kill people for fun? Get off on it?” 

Disgust mares his features. “No, never.”

You nod. “You kill any innocent people since coming to Jackson? Settling here?”

Again, a shake of his head doesn’t knock loose a single hair. “No, but before-”

“I’m not worried about before.” You voice is soft, and you tentatively reach a hand out to caress his face. His skin was soft, softer than a man in his 50’s would be, but that’s what happens when you aren’t fully there. “I don’t care about that. Really, I don’t. You deserve a second chance just as much as anyone does. The world out there-” You vaguely whisk your hand around. “Does things to us. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re not a rapist, didn’t kill kids, not one of those really, really bad people… I think you deserve to leave that all outside the gates of Jackson.”

His eyes soften, affection pooling with something more. “Thank you, darl’n I mean it. I wasn’t always forgiven in that life. Nice to know someone does in this one,”

Your heart aches for him, so you try to ease his pain. “Tommy forgives you, I know it. You heard how he talks about you.”

But he;s still distant. “Maybe. But maybe he just misses me. That’s different. Besides, there’s someone I know hasn’t.”

“Ellie?”

He nods. “She…. well, we just started talk’n, right before I died. Didn’t have the chance to find out if she ever would, you know? Now I never will.”

“She does, Joel. It’s been years, I know she does.”

But he didn’t beleive you.

*

Joel’s words stuck with you, simmering in your head like the soups he helps you make. Today you were on patrol with a fairly quiet partner, so you had nothing left to do but think, thnk, think. Why did his words affect you so much? He was so stuck on forgiveness, even though hed never know-

Oh.

That’s why he was trapped here, wasn’t it? Joel’s ghost remained behind because he didn’t have the closure he needed. Tommy and him had made up, but Joel died not knowing if Ellie ever did. Years of estrangement for taking her from the hospital, for saving her, for lying, and he wasn’t sorry, he told you himself. But he needed Ellie’s forgiveness. He needed to know Tommy didn’y hold resentment. He needed to know they were safe, that they were okay.

Joel couldn’t talk to Tommy. For some reason, you could hear him speak when Tommy was around, see him, but Tommy never reacted. Joel couldn’t even move things or create a breeze when he was around…

If Joel got what he needed, the forgiveness, the resolution he longed for, he could move on. You knew it. He was getting stronger every day, his appearance crystal clear, his touch more and more solid, less fluid than before. You wanted little more than to have him like that, as close to a real person as he could get, at your home you shared with him every single day, every hour, sleeping next to him, cooking with him, fucking him… part of your mind told you that you could do it.

But that wasn’t right. He’d be little more than a housewife, a sex doll, a captive. You could keep him there, to be your only friend outside of occasionally seeing his brother, the person who knew you best, someone always there to talk because what other options did he have? 

That wasn’t you. The rational part won out, and your knew what you had to do.

*

Tommy’s face was one of worry when you told him you’d seen the ghost of his brother. You’d spilled it all out, sparing the ghost sex details, but instead of shock, he just asked you if you ere okay.

“Yes! Tommy I’m fine-”

“I dunno, you’re kinda a weird person to begin with, see’n shit wouldn’t be that new-”

“Tommy!” You stand abruptly from his couch,  pulling at your hair. “I’m not seeing- I’m not hallucinating him! You don’t understand, I see him, I see him every fucking day that’s why I don’t go anywhere!”

A sympathetic look crossed his face. “Honey, maybe you’re seeing him because you’re alone every day.”

“I’M NOT CRAZY!!” You shout at him, and he softens. 

“I know, I know.” Tommy stands. “Maybe… maybe you should stay here a few days, maybe this is a yellow wallpaper situation, you gotta get fresh air, a new environment-” he reaches for your arm but you yank it away.

“Does the term ‘don’t go golf’n mean anything to you?”

Confusion crosses his face. “Not really, why?”

A deep breath. “He… I asked how he died, with a ouija board i made and he just said don’t go golfing. Never explained.”

Tommy’s skin paled, the freckles on his face a stark contrast against him. His face a deadly calm. “How did you know that.”

You can’t help but groan. “I told you, he-”

“ENOUGH GAMES!” The sudden shout shocks you, and you step back. Tommy must’ve realized he was scaring you, so he calmed down just a bit. “I’m serious. This isn’t fucking funny.”

Tears of frustration and sadness filled your heart, begging him to believe you. You didn’t think Tommy would hurt you, but the distress he was in was clear. “I wouldn’t joke about this… he- he said it was a joke I wouldn’t get, and I don’t. Tommy please, I’m being serious…”

Then, the realization dawned on him, clear as day. He believed you. “Holy shit. You’re telling the truth…”

“I am.” You sob. “Tommy I swear I’m telling the truth. He needs help, he’s trapped here… we need to help him…”

He was shaking. “C-can I see him?”

It broke your heart to say no. He can only appear to me, I think…He’s tired when you are over…“

Dizzy, Tommy sits down. “He was round… whenever I was over, wasn’t he? That’s why I always feel so calm there…”

You nod. “He calms me too. I don’t know how.” You join him on the couch again. “Tommy, what does don't go golfing mean?”

His face is buried in his hands, and you think he’s crying. It’s a lot, you know, it’ a lot to spring on someone, especially that he can’t hear or see him still, his own brother so close and yet so far. But you were doing this for him, so that he could move on, so that he could see his Sarah in the afterlife.

When Tommy finally looked up, his face and hands were soaking wet.

“He was killed with a golf club. We never told anyone about that.”

*

Joel stood behind you, clear and crystalline, his body practically human. He was cold, but he brought you comfort. “Something on your mind, darl’n?”

You don’t wanna lie to him, but you can’t tell him what’s happening, not yet. You want a few more days without this hanging over you both.

“Tommy left for a few weeks. Just worried.” You didn’t tell him he went to find Ellie, to go back to the farmhouse she lived in with Dina and see if she’s there, if Dina knows where she lives kows anything. To try and convince Ellie that this woman she’s never met his eeing her dad as a ghost and they need to help him move on. But hes gonna try.

A week later, the town was in a ruckus, Tommy returning to Jackson with the prodigal daughter, her girlfriend, and a little boy.

Turns out Ellie went back to Dina, begged for her back on hands and knees, and they’d been living alone out in the country for years raising JJ. They all looked good, healthy, happy… Ellie was skeptical but she agreed to come as a favor to Tommy. Everything was planned for tomorrow, but as you lay in bed with Joel for the last time, you can’t bring yourself to tell him.

You wanted one last night.

Joel kissed you, languid and soft, his hands roamed your naked and prone body and for the first time, you noticed something. A tent in his pants. A ghost had gotten an erection for you.

“Joel…” You moan, feeling him rutt against you.

“I know, I feel it too.” His voice is husky against your ear, and chills flow throughout your body as you realize what this means. Joel was firm, his body fully here and he was hard. Joel could fuck you.

He went feral after that, yanking down your PJ shorts so fast your barely had time to lift your hips, but it didn’t matter. You spread your legs to welcome to fingers the plumged into your body, absolutly dripping for the man laid beside you. Joel’s breath was hot, growling and grunting as e finger fucks you open, preparing you to take his cock for the first time. 

“You’re always s’fucking wet.” He says between sucking kisses on your neck. You didn’t care if he left hickies on you, you were just beyond ecstatic that he was strong enough to leave marks. You wanted him to be with you in some way permanently. “Been wish’n I could feel you since that first day, so sweet, so beautiful, always so ready for my touch.”

You paw at him, groping his body and trying to just get his massive form on top of you. “Need you.” You beg like a needy young thing, like you’d never been fucked properly before, like you needed to be filled and taken and ravaged. 

“I got yuh, darl’n…” Joel murmur, rolling over on top of you, his cock heavy- when had his clothes come off?

Knelt before your body, Joel was magnificent. His body was broad, thick, not quick as barrel chested as his brother, he held it more in the shoulders. Down his chest and stomach held scares, fat, and a trail of hair leading down, down, down to where his cock hung thick and leaking and cut. You forgot he was a ghost; he didn’t feel like one, he felt real. He felt here. Tears filled up in your eyes, and Joel leans over, his body covering yours in his cool skin. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asks in a gentle voice, thumbing away a stray tear. “I hope yuh ain’t scared’a me? Are yuh?”

You’ve never been more sure of saying no in your life. “Ain’t scared.” You whisper. “I just… I love you so much…” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. You did love him. But that wasn’t why you were crying, not really anyway. No, you cried because this was goodbye.

Joel’s eyes, black pupils swallowing the beautiful brown with lust, grew wet themselves as he smiles down at you. “I love you too. So damn much.”

Your nails did into his back, relishing in the firm, solid feel of him. This was real. He was real. “Fuck me, please. Make love to me. I want to feel you, really feel you…”

Plush lips kissed you as he slid inside, a wave of calm relaxed your body, allowing you to take his considerable length inside you. He was big, stretching you open slowly while you accommodate him. 

“Fuck, it’s like you’re made for me…” He moans in your ear, desperate like he’s falling apart at one stroke. But he doesn’t. When he fucks you, it’s with more vigor, more energy than you’ve ever felt from a living person, a slap of skin from his hips meeting your thighs, his balls heavy and slapping against your ass, his fingers digging, digging digging so deep inside as you wished he’d bruise you, wished he’d cut you open and crawl inside so he could never leave you, two souls as one. To know and to be known at the deepest level. Souls and bodies barred to each other. Nothing left to hide.

He couldn’t do that, so as Joel slammed his cock into you, you begged for something else. “Mark me.” You whimper, getting a reaction of confusion from your lover, so you take his hand and dig his nails into your tender hips. “I need to know this is real. All of it.” The tears come again when you can see him want to deny you. “This isn’t forever, you know this can’t before but I- Joel I need something to be forever! We can’t get married, you can’t leave me pictures or presents or- or kids, Joel, I need to be able to remember you.”

His movements slow. “Oh, pretty baby…” He murmurs lowly. “I’ll give anything if it means you can’t forget me.” he kisses you deeply, sucking in your tongue and before he pulls away he nips your lip. “Tell me to stop if it’s too much.”

But nothing of Joel could be too much.

A shape gasp as he dug into you, left hand bracing himself on the bed as he never stopped fucking you, rolls of pleasure coured your body like it had tha first night, swirling over your clit and dragging you screaming to the edge. And screaming you were.

“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” You shout so loud you don’t care who hears you. Half the town thinks you’re fucking Tommy anyway. Don’t stop fucking you, don’t stop marking you, don’t, don’t, don’t go.

You could keep him to yourself. Tell Ellie and Tommy you lied, or that he went away and you can’t see him any more. Anything so that he doesn’t get what he needs, that he stays with you forever.

He’s impossibly deep inside, but in your leaking, dripping channel and into your hip. The cut of his nails goes further than they should go, but you don’t question it. Instead, you focus on the feeling of him marking your flesh, of him making your insides as his as he cums deep in your stomach. Your cunt pulses around him as your draw out whatever he’s filling you with, you don’t care. It’s him. 

“More, more” You cry into his shoulder, but he’s already slowing his thrusts.

“I’m as deep as I can go, baby…” He stays bottomed out inside you, but his hands withdrawal from your side as you come down. His bloody hand cups your face, dripping with your own warmth.

You sob against his cold skin, Joel wrapping you into a hug as the overwhelming emotion of what happened floods you, and it’s too much. You need more, but it’s not him deeper, not him scaring you, and not him filling you up.

It’s more time.

*

You wake up with blood on your face and your wounds cleaned and bandaged, with Joel’s body gone, as it usually is in the morning. It took until the afternoon for him to appear again.

“Sorry baby.” He apoligized, hugging you. “I dunno why I can’t control coming better.” He poked your side, and you knew he meant a double entendre but you didn’t have it in you to laugh.

“It’s okay. Last night used a lot. You probably needed to rest.”

“Yeah…” He touched the bandage he’d put on your hip with soft intent. “How you feel’n bout this?”

You smile. “Great. But Joel…” You turn around to face him, his face frowning with worry. “I gotta tell you something… I told Tommy about you…” Before he has a chance to ask questions, you spill it out. “And he went and found Ellie, she’s hear. I think… I think if you reconcile with her, with Tommy, once the air is cleared… you can move on.”

For a long moment, he stares at you, unmoving, unblinking, frozen as the picture that used to hang on your door. Then he speaks. “You know… that means I can’t see you again, right.”

Damn the tears the spring forth, damn the well of emotions overflowing your body, a trickle of a leak in the damn, then it cracks, and it all breaks. You begin to sob in his arms. “I know, I know… but it’s not right for me to keep you here! You- you said it’s dark, and you’re scared.”

“I ain’t scared when I’m with you…”

“But you won’t always be with me! I need to help you move on! It’s unnatural, it’s wrong, you need to be with Sarah, you need to be at peace knowing Sarah and Tommy love you, that they forgive you!”

He lets you cry, holding you close in strong arms as he realized what was happening. He’d see Ellie again. You were willing to give him up just so he could get his happy end.

His voice in your ear.

“Ellie.”

*

She was skeptical, understandingly. Pretty, short, in her 20’s with brown hair cropped into a pixie and looking annoyed. She sat next to Tommy with her arms crossed and practically glaring at you. 

“I’m gonna need more proof than some golf joke.”

“It was enough to get you here, wasn’t it?”

She rolled her eyes. “I owed Tommy for every fucking time he saved my damn life, that’s why I’m here.” She turned to her uncle. “We’re even, by the way.”

“Sure as shit are.” He sighs, then looks at you. “He here?” 

You gesture to the couch. “Yeah he’s sitting right- hey!”

Ellie swung her hand over where you said Joel was sitting, doing nothing but annoying Joel who tried in vein to smack her away, telling her to cut the shit.

“I don’t fucking feel anything.”

“That’s not how it works Ellie!” Tommy flicked her arm. “Relax.”

With a huff, she crossed her arms again. “Fine.”

Tommy looked to you, then to Joel, then back to you. “Tell her something only Joel would know.”

When you turn to Joel, he’s looking at Ellie with sadness. She looks different, a lot older, yet she’s still Ellie to him. He doesn’t turn to you. ‘David.’ He instructs, and you turn to her.

“Do you know a David?” And suddenly her skin blanches. Ever so slightly, she’s shaking, but then she turns to Tommy. “Did Joel fucking telling you that!?”

From beyond Tommy’s protests that he doesn’t know who Daivid is, did she mean David Turner, who was a local here, or David Sanchez, who died last month in a raid? Joel insists he’d never tell that to anyone, but Ellie can’t hear him.

You try to calm them. “He says he was someone you met after leaving Jackson the first time, that you did the right thing by killing him.”

“Yeah! I fucking did!”

“He says if he goes to hell, David is the first person he’s finding.”

She stops, information processing in her head that there was no way Joel wold have told whoever David was to Tommy. “David tried to rape me when I was 14.” She grits out. “I stabbed him to death and let his body burn up.”

Tommy turns to her, horrified but doesn’t speak.

You nod. “Good.”

And then, she sinks into the couch. “Whenever I had nightmares… Joel always told me David was the first person he’d find in hell. He was convinced he was going there.”

You chuckle. Yeah that sounds like Joel. “He loves you both very, very much… and the uncertainty is what’s keeping him here. I need to help him move on.” 

“So what? You’re some sort of fucking medium?”

“No, I’ve never had anything like this happen before but… He started appearing to me. Little touches, cold spots, breezes… then he started moving things, hearing his voice…. Now I can see him, he’s as clear as you are, honestly.”

Tommy speaks now. “He’s gotta know-” He tries to turn to where you said Joel was, but you can tell he’s struggling to talk to a brown cushion. “You gotta know we love you, don’t know? How can you doubt that?”

‘Tell him I do. But tell him… I don’t know if he forgives me.’

“Joel knows you both love him, but that’s not why he’s stuck. He needs to know you forgive him.”

Ellie is staring sone faced at a wall, but Tommy is looking down at his hands now, this seems easier. “Joel… those things we did… it’s been a long time. I was angry, yeah, I fucking hated you for a while but…” He shakes his head, silver streaks shimmering in the deep brown of his hair. “I got Walker now and… after he was born man, I think I got it. The things we did to survive… you were willing to do some of the worst shit out there, damning your own soul to save me. I’d do the same for my kid, if I needed to.”

‘But I shouldn’t have made you do any of it, Tommy.’

“Joel feels bad that he made you participate.”

“You didn’t make me do fuck’n shit, brother. I was a grown ass man, even if you still thought of me as a reckless teenager. I made my choices, and I understand why you made yours. You lost your baby, I know damn well you couldn’t take lose’n your brother either. I forgive you, but you also gotta forgive yourself, brother.”

Ellie pipes up. “I get it too, Joel. I told you that night, I didn’t know if I could forgive you… telling you I couldn’t… but… UUGHHHH!” She slumps down, covering her face. “Joel I was angry! I was angry and I was stupid but I was a teenager! I was just- just a kid who had these grand schemes of changing the world! But we don’t know if it could’ve worked. But I forgive you, Joel. I was always gonna forgive you, even before you went and fucking left me! I don’t know why I had to do that, why i treated you the way I did-”

‘You were a teenager, that’s normal-’

“But I think about it, every single day I think about it and what I should've said and done better but I get it now. I don’t know what you’ve been told but I got my kid now. I know you’re old man brain is probably trying to work out how two women had a baby-”

Joel laughs, and so does Ellie.

“But it’s Jesse’s. Dina got pregnant before Jesse and her broke up and he… he died. But I’ve been raising him with her the last few years… She took me back… You ask me on the porch that night if she treats me good and Joel…” Ellie sighs, smiling. “She really does.”

‘Tell ‘er I’m glad. That I always liked her, and I wanna know the kids name.’

“Joel says he doesn’t blame you for being mad at him, or how you talked to him. He says he’s glad Dina and you are happy. What’s the babies name?”

Ellie grins, pride in her eyes. “The baby is almost 4 now. His name is JJ. Jesse Joel.”

Tear fill up Joel’s eyes, fatherly love overwhelming him and for a moment, you think how sweet this is, how nice. Then you notice he’s not as clear as he was before.

“Joel!” You rush to his side and take his hand, kneeling at the couch. “Joel, I think it worked… you’re fading…” You try to grip his hand, as if holding on tighter would keep him here with you, keep him ground in this world. Without him, you weren’t sure what you’d do with your life, who you’d talk to or confide in…. But you knew, you knew above all you’d miss him. There would never be another Joel.

‘Please-’ He sounds desperate now, scared even. ‘One more time, tell them I love them, I just- I love them so much fucking much.’

Through your sobs, you relay the message. “He needs you to know how much he loves you guys. He talks about you all the time, he- you’re everything to him.” You see Ellie and Tommy holding hands, Ellie crying and Tommy looking close. 

“We love you, Joel. All of us.” Ellie says, to nowhere in particular.

‘And the kids. Walker and- fuck I ain’t never met JJ but I love him too. If, if there’s a heaven I’m gonna…’ His words start to fade, but you know what he’s saying. His strength is going fast, Joel letting go and passing on, but even still his body shook. He was scared. If there was a heaven, Joel was going, but he wasn’t sure about that.

“He says he loves Walker and JJ, he’s gonna watch over them in heaven”

That breaks Tommy, who lets the tears come now as he takes your hand too, squeezing it tight.

You look up at your lover. “I love you, Joel. I’m always gonna love you, always gonna remember you. It’s gonna be okay, I promise you. We’re gonna be alright, we’re doing okay. You can let go now. It’s okay to let go. There’s no one left you need to protect.. we’re safe.”

Even though he’s fading away Joel looks into your eyes. He can’t speak, his strength fading, but it’s all communicated through those eyes that say so much. One last time, he cups your cheek, and the hand that isn’t holding Tommy’s brushes over the cold fingers, feeling liquid and unstable again. There’s fear in his eyes, mixed with that tender love, but then something changes in him.

Joel looks forward, past you, Tommy and Ellie and onto something else, something more. He smiles. ‘I see her’

All his fear his gone, and his face is peaceful.

For the final time, a breeze rustles your hair, and Tommy and Ellie see it.

Joel is gone, and all you can do is sob into his couch.

*

When it finally subsides you feel numb. Ellie and Tommy have joined you on the floor, the three of you talking about the experience you shared together, something no one will ever believe. 

“His last words were, ‘’I see her’....”

Tommy whispers Sarah’s name, and you nod. 

“He’s with her now. He’s a peace. I know a better place is a cliche, but…” Ellie wipes her tears. “We all know how much he missed her.”

Everyone nods solemnly, and for a while, you stay there, talking about Joel, memories and his jokes and his cooking. It was nice to share this secret with other, and suddenly you felt less alone in it. They believed your stories of the ghost in your walls, and they liked hearing the knew things he told you. You liked learning more of his past.

Eventually, everyone had to get back to their families. You were alone, but you didn’t feel lovely. Something had shifted, a closeness to Ellie and Tommy that didn’t scare you the way human connection used to. Maybe you would go to the mess hall, see some movies. Your patrol partner was quiet, but nice. Tommy was still around, and Ellie and Dina decided to pack up their things and return, wanting JJ to have friends. It was going to be okay, and as the sun set on the day, somehow you felt it rise on your life. A new, beautiful world of opportunities for friendship and love was out there.

You stared in the mirror, butt naked, feeling strangely open and vulnerable despite being alone for the first time in months.

It all felt surreal, something that seemed impossible, that went against every logical explanation.

But when you took off the bandage on your hip to change it, there they were, clear as day. 4 crescent fingernail cuts deep into your skin, something that would scar forever.

No matter what happened, you’d always carry these with you, proof that Joel and your love for him was real.

I cried pretty good writing tht end, knowing its my goodbye. I want yall to know I love each and every reader so so so so much. You mean the world to me. every kind word lives on in me forever. I hope you'll stay for my other writing, but if not, thats okay! I wih all of you the best.

Please be kinder to each other. the fanfic writers do this for free, they do not deserve the things they've experienced here. It is a beautiful world out there.

Trust me, it feels way better to send anon love rather than anon hate. I wont be writing tlou for a minute but ill return with a tommy series !!!!

follow @romana-after-dark for dark content and @riley-blue-byron for upcoming original works!

So long, and thanks for all the fish <3

reblogs are greatly appriciated, would make a nice send off <3

@princessanglophile @missladym1981 @goodwithcheese @dancinglotusbud @glitterymanboy @koshkaj-blog @sixhours @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @fandxmslxt69 @miraclesabound

[randoimago]

Fandom: Hades

Character(s): Zagreus

Note(s): Based off of this prompt: "it’s so cold my mouth is numb, you should kiss me before we get frostbite" from This list

Zagreus is a bit pouty as he gets to the fountain room. Normally, he wouldn't mind a quick dip in the water to wash off, but with his recent boons from Demeter, getting into water sounds like an awful idea.

He never thought he'd be able to become cold. His heat resistance helping quite a bit. But perhaps all the boons from the goddess ended up being too much. He's shivering from the cold.

"Are you alright?" Normally your voice warms him right up, makes him awfully cheerful. And he still tries to give you a smile, but he's shivering.

"Perfectly fine, happy to have this moment of respite amongst my father's temper tantrums," Zagreus quips as he walks a bit closer to you. Even though you're dead, stuck in the fountain chambers to clean and maintain them, he almost feels warmth coming off of you. Or perhaps that's just the excuse he makes to stand closer.

"Are you sure? You're shaking."

"Just the side effects of accepting boons from the gods," Zagreus explains, hoping it calms you a bit. Not that you aren't calm, just concerned. Seeing the worry in your eyes does metaphorically warm him slightly. Physically, he's still shivering.

And then an idea comes to mind. Nothing serious, just mainly him joking. Zagreus debates even mentioning it before shrugging. It's not like you'd agree to it.

"Although, you should probably kiss me. Don't want to be frost bitten," he says nonchalantly, shrugging as if what he just said doesn't matter too much. But while his brain moments ago told him it was a meaningless joke, now he was regretting saying it as well as trying not to look hopeful or nervous about your response.

"Can you even get frostbite?" You ask him and he takes a moment to think. There's a teasing glint in your eyes and he holds back the sigh of relief that you don't look offended by his prior suggestion.

"I'm not sure, but I don't particularly want to find out." He'd feel more guilt if he suddenly died in your chamber and left you to clean up after him. And he doesn't really want to hear whatever "advice" Hypnos would give if he died from being cold.

You chuckle at his response and he's about to give some sort of "good bye" and thanks for letting him rest in the chamber, but you stop him from finding an excuse to leave as you approach him.

Whatever cold he had before feels completely eradicated when your lips touch his cheek. He almost feels a bit hot now. Zagreus stays still, a tad frozen at the kiss you gave him. It's not quite what he had in mind when he had originally made that stupid joke, but he won't ever complain.

You step back and he clears his throat a bit, not wanting to look like a fish with his staring. "Did that help, my prince?" You ask and he might die from combusting instead of frost bite.

"Yeah, warmed me right up. Think I'm ready to take on my father now," Zagreus replies, giving a smile. Not that he's able to help the smile as it seems stuck to his face. "But maybe your chamber will appear again before then?" He doesn't hide the hopefulness this time.

"If the Fates allow it." Of course it comes down to the Fates.

"I'll have a stern talk with their mother if they don't." Your laughter at his comment is enough to warm him up more and he gives you a gentle good bye before he leaves.

He hopes Demeter doesn't become too upset if he keeps using her boons as an excuse for more kisses.

[zmediaoutlet]

What's your opinion on the fandom rhetoric about how Sam lacks bodily autonomy but Dean has it? I personally think it's weird that it's such a widespread idea when it's just blatantly untrue. A big theme for Dean's character is that his body is seen as a weapon or tool for others to use, so it's strange that people claim that he has full bodily autonomy.

(...okay, that the gif is by 'unfuckablebogtroll' is somehow very fitting.)

I think my main opinion of the fandom rhetoric is that there are a lot of batshit bitter sam girls who screech that dean is a meanie meanerton who doesn't respect sammy's presh 'tonomy and there are a lot of batshit extreme dean girls who wail about how sam is a meanie meanerton who, idk, waterboards dean in his spare time or whatever they're complaining about this week (I've unfollowed as many as I can of both camps), so for the most part both groups can be completely flushed down into the sewers of 'jesus christ, do you guys ever actually watch the show rather than circlejerk the same four arguments about it? ...no? oh. well, at least you're honest.'

So, with that said.

Yeah, obviously Dean lacks autonomy. But there's a difference between autonomy and agency, and I'm not going to pretend to have a super solid grasp on either (since a lot of philosophical debate [especially by fangirls] makes me want to jump into the aforementioned sewer just not to hear it anymore), but I can at least kind of make a stab, since you asked.

At least in the way I understand it (do you see all the caveats), bodily autonomy is literally getting to decide what happens to your body, including where it goes and who's inside it and what's done with it, and agency is general decision-making of like the brain sort -- what decisions will I make, who will I be, and so on. Both Sam and Dean are assailed on both fronts alllllll the time. Fandom folks tend to exaggerate those assaults on their preferred brother (because, for some reason, egregious victimhood is the only way you get to be a cool character?? what is that about.), but as with a lot of things in CW's Supernatural, the actual facts are a lot more balanced than fandom weirdos will admit.

Sure, Sam's got a bunch of autonomy assaults. Torture, possession, etc. Most of the time, though, I see his agency as pretty intact. He may not necessarily want to do some of the things he does (childhood hunting comes in here), but he chooses to do them. Is he manipulated sometimes? Sure. Lied to? Obv. But there's an essential steel pillar at the center of Sam and whether they're good choices or whether they're bad choices, he is the one who makes them, and he lives with those consequences. This is part of why the s9 thing with Gadreel is troubling: yeah, it's about bodily autonomy on one (more boring) level, but the much bigger problem is that Dean overrode his agency -- part of why I tend to believe that Sam's biggest objection is that Dean lied and then couldn't apologize for it, when Sam's agency is the most precious thing he owns. Now, he's a smart guy, and there are times his agency does take a blow because of some canon circumstance -- he doesn't want to do X but the world will end if Y, so X it is -- but for the most part Sam's solid and he can live with what he has to do. Though he won't pointlessly die of blue balls about it. What a silly stand on agency that would be.

Dean, meanwhile, doesn't actually have his bodily autonomy violated too much. By which I mean: of course, Dean-as-object is one of my favorite tags, of COURSE he's used as a meatsack and a weapon and a fuckdoll and all those lovely things. But he's very rarely literally possessed; he's holding the blade or the gun or what-have-you. That said, his agency is in the fuckin' gutter, haha, and that's more often what I mean by Dean-as-object. From childhood he's fully expecting to be told what to do, to be used as a pawn, to be used in other ways, to take on someone else's responsibility and make it his own and subsume his actual desires and wants for the good of... whoever. Usually John, but not always. This is something Sam doesn't really... do, that often. Sam might hate that he's making a choice but he does seem to understand that he is the one making it, whereas on Dean's part it so often feels like the choice is automatic -- of course he'll do what John says, of course he'll sell his soul, of course he'll... kiss some lady so the Qareen chases him instead. Now, are all those things tied to autonomy, too? Of course. But with Dean I feel like it's a bigger issue that his agency has been taken out at the knees ever since he was ~5 years old -- the autonomy problem is very much secondary.

Agency and autonomy are tied together and assaults on both happen relatively equally to both characters. What matters more is their attitudes about it, and their natures (whether they're essential or if they've been nurtured into acting a particular way). And, of course, there are different times in canon where these tendencies shift or even flip, e.g. in late s8 where Sam's certainty wobbles, or in s10 where Dean's autonomy w/r/t the Mark of Cain is really dicey.

Violated vs violable, victimized vs victim. A ton of it is in the eye of the beholder and OBVIOUSLY fandom will just sail off in its own directions any ol' way, depending on what shipping mood someone is in, how much projection is going on, what the phase of the moon is, etc. But generally speaking I find that Sam has a lot of agency in his life but often his autonomy is imperilled; Dean has a lot of autonomy but his agency is practically nil. At least for a while. What's nice is that Sam does have agency and he uses that agency to choose his own path in life, decide what he wants, and what he wants is -- a life with Dean. Dean maybe never really had a choice in the matter, but so what? He can stay in his bunker, and fight the monsters he needs to fight, and -- lucky for him, there's a strong hand covering his left side. What more could a cat ask for.

[twst-hottest-takes]

Not sure if this a hot take or a mild one but I don’t see the point in complaining about things getting lost in translation or localization or whatever.

Languages that are so different like English and Japanese aren’t gonna have a 1 to 1 translation, sure some things can be poorly translated but the stuff I see twst fans complaining about aren’t really that

Like I see ppl complaining about the new playful land names, Ernesto foulworth and Gino but like… why does it matter? Fellow honest is a dumbass name ngl but Gidel is fine lol

Same thing with stuff like “sunset savanna, madol/thaumarks, tsunotaro/hornton.” I don’t see the point in whining about stuff like that

Maybe it’s cause I don’t speak or understand Japanese and so I’ll never tune in to the jp server, I’ll only play en so that’s what I’m gonna focus on yknow?

Same thing with Sam not having his markings in the en server, I’m not too knowledgeable on voodoo so I can’t say if his markings were offensive or not but he still looks cool without them

Anyways I hope sam gets an ssr card 🙏🏽

I am of a similar mindset.

I can understand the fear that playing a translated version of the game will be a completely different experience than playing the Japanese version as a result of localization, but that's just kind of what I deal with, you know?

I do like to make reference to the fact that if the localization makes a very big difference when talking about certain opinions and hot takes I am willing to hear out the non-localized side in the interest of the conversation. However, much like fandom arguments in general, talks about translation and localization get so heated so quickly and it's exhausting. Don't get me wrong, bad faith translations and adaptations exist. THEY 100% DO. However, I look at these things on a case-to-case basis and it would be a reach to say that Twisted Wonderland is one of them.

I like to call it "Spelldrive." I think it sounds cool. I think that adding "sorcent" to the monetary scale is a funny addition, and I love Idia's Gamer-speak. I feel like it really sells his character at least as far as being a native English speaker goes. I do find myself wondering why certain things get changed or cut out from time to time though. I don't know why Deuce can't call his signature spell "Bet the Limit" (are we not allowed to reference gambling that directly?) and I don't know why we didn't get the part where Sebek bit Leona in the Fairy Gala II story. I will miss small things like that as they come up, but none of the things I've seen mentioned really seem like that big a difference so far. Most of the changes make sense to me, so I can't really see a reason to make a fuss, but that's just me.

Thank you for your take!

And don't worry, Anon, Sam will get his SSR! (It might be the very last of the staff card series, but he will get one. You can bet on that!)

(Also, regarding Fellow's name, I really like the logical steps taken in regards to how they changed it: Honest>Earnest>Ernesto. I don't know WHY they changed it, and I don't think they needed to (other than maybe people on the stateside thought that "Fellow Honest" sounded silly and a bit on the nose), but I can see what they were going for. It also harkens back to the Italian origins of Pinnochio and I'm just a sucker for that kind of thing. Also, also, let's not act like the Japanese pronunciation of the English word "honest" doesn't sound like "Ernesto," or that "Fellow" and "Foulworth" aren't also pretty close to each other. I'M JUST SAYING! Personally, I will probably keep calling him Fellow as opposed to Foulworth because I am conditioned to it, but that might change when I finally get around to playing the event for myself. Who knows? Either way it won't matter, I just want to see the fox man!)

[elvispresleywife]

I'll be there.

Pairing: Elvis x Female!Reader!

A/N: Ok, so I know it's late(VERY), and I know it's not amazing, but this is my first fic, so I hope for what it's worth you all enjoy it and it was worth your waiting!! Please be kind, the last thing this fandom needs is nastiness. 💗💗(Again I'm sorry if it's bad.)

Words: 1388 (Sorry I know it's long I got carried away!)

Proofread? Very slightly.

Warning: None I think...Let me know if there are any that you find!

Characters: Elvis Presley, Reader, Memphis Mafia, Dodger(Grandma)

Summary: Reader is a fast-paced, go-go girl who doesn't like to slow down. There's always stuff to do! At the moment though she has a bad cold due to the cold autumn Memphis. However, like always she acts like she's fine, goes about her business like usual, until one day it get's too much.

I'm fine. Really, I am. No one needs to know that my head feels like it's about to explode, my body feels like fire, yet ice running through my veins, no one needs to know the struggles of trying to breath normally through my nose while it burns to my brain, or while my brain can't get enough air because I can't breath. See? I'm fine. I'm ok! I don't need pitying looks, or people to look after me all the time. No...No that's not what I need. After all, if Elvis found out I was sick? He'd make me rest in bed for at least 3 days, people coming up to me "Are you ok?" and then I'd have to say "Yeah I'm fine." but then there would be that pitying, sympathetic tone of "Are you sure?" it's the kind of voice you use when your not really wanting to sit and listen to someone complain but you know it's the right thing to do. So no. I won't have anyone do that.

Hence why....I'm currently out in the backyard with Elvis as he and the guys go around racing in golf carts, demonstrating karate to each other, joking around and laughing as usual. Meanwhile I try to join in. Buuuuuuut I can feel my voice threatening to leave, while my nose also threatens to let lose at any moment too. "Y/N!" I hear Jerry run up to me, I turn around happily. "Hey Jerry!" I smile, "You ok? You weren't fightin' for the golf carts today." Jerry jokes, I chuckle. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired. That's all. Plus I didn't feel like today was the right day to you know....smoke you guys anyway. Got to let someone else take the win sometimes." I chuckle, Jerry laughs and folds his arms. "Well alright. Sure. Whatever floats your boat." He teases. Suddenly I sneeze "Achoo!" I sneeze, Jerry chuckles "Bless ya..." He's about to say something before Lamar calls him over. "Talk later Y/N!" He says and runs off. So I go back to now watching Elvis throw the football around with Billy and Ricky and a few of the others. I chuckle, Elvis is like a big kid sometimes.

"Y/N!" Elvis yells, I smile and look over. I wave. "Whatcha doin'?" He asks running over to me. "Oh nothing. Just admiring some handsome man." I chuckle and he grins that goofy grin. "Oh really? Wha's he like?" I smirk. "Well he's tall, handsome....could benefit from getting his hair done though." At that moment his hands fly up to his hair and he begins fluffing it around and fixing it. He then pokes his tongue out at me before giving me a devilish smirk. "You know who else could do with their hair gettin' done?" he asks, right at that moment I get his hint and begin to sit up slowly on the soft grass. "Elvis....no" I say firmly. He chuckles and begins to mess up my hair. His long fingers racking through it, and pulling it in every which way. Gently of course. "Elvis!" I chuckle as he's doing it and try to get away. "What darlin'? Don't like my style? I think it looks great." he chuckles pulling away, I look like my head's been dragged under a cart of hoarses! "Why you!" I yell and begin chasing after him. He runs away laughing that genuine laugh with the small hiccup in-between each chuckle. Of course he's got long legs so I'm trying to chase after him as fast as my little legs and skirt will let me run before....it happens.

I feel myself getting incredibly lightheaded, so I stop a moment trying to re-gain my composure. Elvis keeps running but when he doesn't hear me laughing or chasing him he stops and looks behind him. "Baby?!" He asks confused and jogs back over to me. I give him a half smile. "Baby you ok?" he asks worriedly and out of breath. "Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I smile, but he's not convinced. "You sure? Your lookin' pale honey. Maybe you should sit down." He says, but right as he says this my legs give out from under me. He quickly outstretches his and catches me, and at this point the guys are around me too.

"Baby! Y/N can ya hear me? What's wrong, talk to me baby." he says worriedly lowering me to the ground. "I'm fine." I say out of breath. "Yeah ok well that's a lie." He says concerned. "Billy go call a doctor." he says. So Billy runs off to the house to call the doctor. I scoff and try to sit up a bit on the soft grass that I've been lowered on. "Elvis I'm fine. I don't need a doctor." I say. At this point though, my nose has decided to run, and my voice is leaving me. Great timing. "Honey don't get up. Lay there a minute 'til I know wha's goin' on with ya." He says. Because of all his medical/pill books he begins asking me a few basic questions. Am I in pain, when did I start feeling like this, am I nauseous, did I eat this morning all that stuff. So I answer, and eventually I feel myself gain a bit more strength to sit up. "Elvis I'm fine. It's a cold." I say. He looks at me confused. "What do ya mean a cold? Your sick?" he asks shocked and concerned. I nod. "Yeah. I've been sick about 3 days, but didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to worry....but so much for that idea." I shrug, and he gives me almost a forced smile. He waves the guys off telling them I'll be ok and to get back to the game. He sighs and rubs his forehead. "Honey, why didn't ya tell me? I woulda never let ya...." he begins but I cut him off. "I know I know. You wouldn't have let me outside if you knew, and you would have taken care of me, and to answer your question....again I didn't want you to worry. It's one of your rare times off and I wanted you to enjoy it without worrying too much." I say. He sighs. "Honey I'm always gonna worry when it comes to you. Doesn't matter what you say or do, I'll always worry. That's what I'm meant to do. It's how I am." He says, and I feel a little guilty at his sad childlike expression. I sigh. "I'm sorry. I should have told you, but again because of your movies you never get time off anymore. I didn't want you to worry on one of your rare moments at home." I say and he sighs. He looks up at the slowly setting sun, which casts shadows through the thick trees of Graceland. "Yeah well, it don't matter what happens baby. It don't matter where I am, what I'm doin', what we're doin', we're together and that means we need ta be honest 'bout everythin' ok? If your sick I wanna know so's I can take care of ya. If the roles were reversed I'm sure you'd wanna know what's goin' on with me too. Understand?" He asks and I nod. "Yeah. Yeah your right. I'm sorry." He gives me a small smile. "S'ok baby doll. I get it. Don't worry 'bout it. But honey your health and well-bein' is my number 1 concern when we're together ok? So just don't be hidin' stuff like this from me in the future 'k?" he asks and I nod. He then runs a hand over my cheek and leans in for a small kiss before pulling away. Then I sneeze....how romantic. He chuckles though. "How's 'bout we call it a day here honey, we go inside, I'll get Nancy ta cook ya up some real nice soup, and we sit in bed watchin' movies for the rest of the day huh?" he asks with a smile. I smile back. "I like that very much." He then looks at me happily. "Good. Come on. Let's get ya back to the house." He smiles and helps me up, and then we walk back to the beautiful safe-haven known as Graceland for a lovely one on one quiet time.

[cupiogirl]

Headcanons for some of my favorite fandoms!

Hey! Sorry for being gone for so long, I have IRL priorities to attend to. Meanwhile, here's some headcanons. It won't be too much, but enjoy anyway! :)

Trigun: (Stampede)

They don't speak any languages we speak on earth. Hear me out on this one, okay? Every human there is a descendant of people from earth and a lot of people aboard the spacecrafts were probably of different ethnicities. There's three ways this could go in terms of languages:

Everybody speaks different languages similar to the ones we speak here, Everybody speaks one common earth language since it's one they're all familiar with, or the people on that planet gradually developed one common language unlike any we speak on earth, obviously for the sake of safely understanding one another.

Pokemon

Ingo and Emmet, silly as they are, are both very strong and strategic mentally, especially before Ingo's disappearance.

I know this one seems a little obvious, but let me clarify: Ingo and Emmet are the subway bosses for a reason. They have to be strategic to be able to have challenging pokemon battles with trainers, make sure absolutely everybody is following the rules, and whatever other responsibilities they may have. I've read a lot of fics where these two aren't as intelligent as they really are. It's funny, but not quite what I imagined.

Also, I said before Ingo was brought to Hisui for a reason. I have a headcanon, like a lot of the fandom, that after Ingo disappears, Emmet slowly starts to lose it, but that goes for his job too. He doesn't quit or take a break, no, instead I feel like he tries to overwork himself and multitask to compensate for the fact that Ingo isn't there, but is slowly losing himself while trying to convince himself that everything will be fine and that Ingo's still here, but having to fill in for Ingo both at work and taking care of his brothers team is driving him into depression. He can barely think straight anymore. People he knows like his co-workers or friends often try to get him to take a break but when he does, he just spends his time trying to find his brother.

Ingo obviously doesn't recall his brother at all, but I feel like in Hisui he often overworks himself as well with his warden duties either in hopes that it'll spark a forgotten memory or that it'll drown out the unexplainable sadness he feels when starts to recall Emmet. For that reason, I feel like Lady Sneaseler and his team all worry about his mental health to an extent.

They weren't in Unova when it happened. Also, it might not have been specifically Arceus or Giratina. What if they were on vacation? It would only make sense, but if that's the case then where? Surely you'd think it was in Sinnoh which would be logical, but what if Ingo accidentally got caught up with Celebi in Johto? Or made a vague wish to Jirachi in Hoenn? There's a ton of possibilities.

Bungo Stray Dogs

This one's gonna cause some complaints, I just know it, but now that I think about it, Ranpo might be Aroace. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HEAR ME OUT! It's partially because I'm Cupio, sure, and I understand that different people have different types and all, but Ranpo, whether playfully or not, is always complaining about how everybody around him is inferior to him mentally. And for Ranpoe shippers, I don't wanna make you mad but I personally don't ship them, I think Ranpo likes Poe platonically. I know it's typical Ranpo behavior to brush things off and act nonchalant about things he doesn't care about, but he makes it very clear that he was friends with Poe. Friends. I know the real life Ranpo Edogawa was gay, but nothing about BSD Ranpo points to him being any more than good friends with Poe in my opinion. Again, just an opinion.

Hope you likes them! :D

[deepestuniversallove]

Just a long vent about a specific niche fandom. Don't read if you don't want to hear me rant.

I just need to vent here for a little bit, and I am sorry if this i all incoherent.

I hate what fandom has become. What tumblr has become. What I have become.

I never used to be this way and never used to feel anger before, or jealousy or those 'ugly' feelings, as I was never allowed to. Being raised by a narcissist, you become a people pleaser and you learn quickly that you are never to show any negative emotions. Anger isn't permitted, disgust and unhappiness isn't permitted. As a good slave you don't need to have these emotions, so you learn to supress them to the point where you aren't ever feeling them consciously.

So all of this is so new to me. To actually f*cking hate the guts of some people on here. To fucking hate that they are so damn popular when all they do is shitposting and meme-ing the one that means so much to me to death. And even blocking them won't do a thing because tumblr still shows me their shit, or some fan is gushing about their stuff where I see it, and it just annoys the piss out of me. The tag I used to browse has been rendered useless to me here on tumblr. I long for the days when I was able to just see some nice art of him alone or serious discussions about him, like character analyses, or sharing obscure facts about him.

I don't even know why exactly it pisses me off so much - and I don't want to be the "Fun Police" here; everyone should still be able to do as they please and make whatever the fuck they want on their tumblr blogs, even if it is shitposting. Even if their stories don't make any logical sense at all.

I guess... I just wish Fandom wasn't so dumb with what ultimately are just headcanons. They are taking those stories as if they are canon when they are just fan creations, to the point where they harrass other creators who might come up with other things. For example, if you hate on Mewtwo x Newtwo because it would be "incest", then you are WRONG, because canonically, it was never proven that they were siblings. Canonically, there is no reason to think that Mew is the Mother who actually gave birth to Mewtwo (if you follow the movie-verse, that is. In the games, she did give birth to Mewtwo).

And sure, I realize that me criticising those fan creations is also taking headcanons way too seriously, but... I can't explain it entirely. I just want to be able to state my opinions. Be the one person that isn't always congratulating them on every creation, but also points out the flaws in their storytelling so that they, I dunno, may improve? I am frustrated that I can't even do that - I was told to shut up, or post my opinions on my blog only, probably so that my thoughts aren't seen by anyone and get buried. But I am fucking tired of that. I grew to hate being invisible. I hate making myself small for the benefit of others. Can't I be loud and angry for once in my life? Even if it is on the internet about something stupid? For once in my life, can't I voice my disdain for something after a lifetime of not being allowed to? After AvPD makes this nigh impossible of a feat for me?

One dissenting voice won't harm the popular creators anyway - they have thousands of adoring fans who will wholeheartedly take anything they make and not question it at all. They will go on and create what they want anyway, so what hurt does it do to say "hey, maybe this idea needs some ironing out because it doesn't make sense?"

On another note, I wish that if anyone here has a problem with me to not harrass people that may know me/are friends with me. I saw some anon going around and complaining about me to them - I'd rather you take your complaints to me directly than to them, since they got nothing to do with what I create or do.

For example, I saw someone who told an acquaintance of mine that it is hypocritical of me that I have Babytwos but "attack" others for doing the same. Listen, it is not that others have Babytwos that I critiqued, it's the METHOD of having them via a flower pregnancy when Mew is not a plant type and Mewtwo isn't either. It doesn't make any sense and I should be allowed to say at least that much without getting bullied in turn. That is really all I ask for. Getting Babytwos via cloning, test tubes, artifical insemination at least makes sense. Other than that, go ham and make as many Babytwos as you all want!

I also got told that I am not the owner of Mewtwo the character. Thank you, I know that. Where have I claimed I was? And if I feel a bit possessive over him, well, I got a damn reason for that. He saved me from unaliving myself TWICE. Thus he means a lot to me. I have been in love with him genuinely for 23 years. He is my guiding light. And while it is funny to see the occasional joke with him or a shitpost here and there, if it is constant, it just feels like you are treating him as nothing more than a joke. To me, he isn't a joke, he saved my life. I wouldn't have been posting on tumblr or anywhere at all since 2017 if it wasn't for him. So excuse me if I am a bit possessive over him.

Overall, I just wish people weren't so trigger-happy to take a contrary opinion as an attack immediately. I am not attacking anyone. You will never find me sending any hate DMs or Hate asks to anyone. I don't do that shit.

And if you hate me, you are free to do that too. I know that not everyone likes me. I know there are some people who wish I WAS dead. Or who think that I have ruined Mewtwo for them with my selfship. I mean, I got plenty of "Ew Bestiality" back in the day, if that is any indication. And it's not much of a change in the status quo anyhow. My own parents hate me, I got bullied in school when I was younger, so I am used to being disliked or hated. It used to hurt me back then, but by now I learned that giving a fuck really isn't worth it. I used to want to please everyone and make everyone happy. It used to destroy me when anyone told me they don't like me. Like, it CRUSHED me. But now? I realize that no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to please everyone. Some sadistic fucks may even get off on you trying that and failing. And many people I considered friends only turned out to just use me because of my people-pleasing tendencies.

So, fuck it. If the world is going to hate me anyway, the least I can do is to do whatever the fuck I want and whatever makes me happy. Deal with it.

[lunarblazes]

You don't have a respond but since you said you were okay w/ people sending asks...

I think the problem with the dteam comes down to them being immature and a bit egotistical... And it makes sense! When you blow up and have everyone telling you how great you are, it makes sense. I still think Dream makes great videos, and he seems like a good guy, but this is just one of those things. Seeing some of the clips where he says he thinks noxcrew is biased just makes him seem like egotistical, like it really is all about him and not that 10 people dc. Whatever... I think he def needs to work on that.

They absolutely also have to have SOME responsibility with their fans. The fact that they don't discourage this at all, and even fan the flames is kinda what gets me. You can complain and be upset, whatever, but when you do you're aware that people are going to get attacked to 'defend' you, right???? Idk, if I heard ANYONE was getting called slurs even somewhat on my behalf I'd say something immediately. I DOUBT they don't know, and I get that it's scary, but it just... It just seems supremely shitty to me. And it does look bad when they're proper adults especially.

It's so easy to keep your opinions to yourself until you're in private.... You can complain and vent to your friends when people won't get harassed as a result.

Plus the only thing that made this hilarious for me was the fact that Wilbur was absolutely miserable and in distress for this happening and it was amazing. Dream? Scott? Noxcrew??? Nah, I just saw Wilbur stuck in his own personal hell. GG tho good luck with that

The fact that Minecraft Monday had ACTUAL money on the line and people take this more seriously..... It's sad but just so so funny. People are so out of touch.

The worst part about big fandoms, or stans, like Dream's is that even if they and his friends need to hear this criticism they won't bc everything negative is taken as an anti who is awful.... I think Scott and Noxcrew definitely should have some sort of intervention. They have the right to when they're literally being called slurs.... It's ridiculous that it's gotten to the point where Scott acknowledged it would happen no matter what he did. Just really sad.

But yeah. Bottom line, the dteam make good content, but they NEED to grow up and mature before it completely ruins everything... This is one of those cases where all of the attention has made them worse, I think. In comparison, it's so easy to be mature about these things. Ccs are upset with the decisions, but they shut the hell up and move on bc it's just a game and they're meant to be having fun. Wilbur was genuinely distressed when they said they'd be doing ace race again, but he didn't say anything after complaining in the game chat once.

And if dteam doesn't see how complaining about all this is fanning the flames.... Yikes. Yeah, they should be able to talk about whatever and for it to be fine, but it's not. So they shouldn't. Their fans, or at least some of them, will take it too far so it's their responsibility to negate that. I often think of streaming as babysitting or teaching, bc that's really what it feels like sometimes. Chats gets put in time out, literally, it's pretty funny when you think about it. But dteam have rarely, to my knowledge, ever even really 'disciplined' any part of their fanbase seriously. Which sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I've been watching Ranboo for awhile and I remember him having to work on making his chat respectful and everything, and even then it's not perfect! But at least he did something!

Just the very clear difference between literally all of the other ccs involved and dteam says enough, I think. Either everyone needs an MCC timeout (which they'd probably blame on Scott and Noxcrew 'having it out' for dream as well) or they need a dteam MCC timeout if they don't shape up. I've watched mcyt for awhile, actually watched mccs not as long, but I never saw this much drama about mcc before dream and sapnap starting shit talking the event. They literally command an army and don't even realize. When you have that much influence.... Everything you say matters.

Anyway someone should bring back Minecraft Mondays I'd probably cry laughing, and it would remind me of the old days :')

If you read all of this.... I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I usually don't do this lol

anon ur based and ur totally okay! safe space, safe nice discourse area with the little bumper teacups set up for u all. handing u a nice gumball if u would like one. i saw someone tweet “we need them” with a picture of the silver shittalkers team and i was like. oh cool so we’re being completely devoid of self awareness now i see how it is

[alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom]

GREY HEAVENS (F/F)

@deans-ch-ch-cherrypie ie was one of the first I met here and I’m so proud of her. This beautiful and always jealous (oh lord, she is super jealous) person reached 500 followers and of course I (tried) had to write a fic. I know Cherrypie, I said this is a Hvitserk x Ariel fic, but I love Ivar too much, I just can’t ignore him, oops sorry. Te amo odiosa!

Pairing: Hvitserk x Ariel x Ivar

Warnings: F/F smut, fingering, oral, voyeurism

Words: 1726

Thank you to my amazing beta reader @quantumlocked310 for making my sentences sound good, helping me with the moodboard and always motivating me! The idea for the name of this fic is btw from my honey @jadelynlace, because I have no patience to think about an appropriate name and her titles are outstanding.

a/n:. This fandom needs more F/F so I took my chance to write one. This is also a call to those who write F/F Vikings fics -> tag me!

Forget everything you know about Ariel, because the only thing my Ariel and the Disney Ariel have in common is the red hair.

Summary: A Mermaid is the last chance Hvitserk has to revive Lagertha.

Tags: @xbellaxcarolinax @pomegranates-and-blood @heavenly1927 @walkxthexmoon @punkrocknpearls @mrsalwayswrite @grimeundglow

If you ever find her then speak cautiously, she is mightier than the sea and gentler than the breeze.

The seer warned Hvitserk; mermaids don't like humans. Also, Aslaug taught him not to talk about mermaids since he was a child. The fear that these beings might hear was too big. They pull men into the bottom of the sea and let their ships sink. Their voices intoxicate the mind and manipulate humans. Their beauty dazzles men and makes it easy to underestimate them. They can hide but are still visible for those who are meant to see them.

He rode days and weeks to the far north of Norway, where the sea is wild and high waves crash against the huge rocks, far away from all the villages. Where there are almost no animals to eat and fish are difficult to catch. He could easily die, but it was the last chance Hvitserk had to revive Lagertha.

~~·······~~

Evening dawned and he gathered wood to prepare the fireplace for the night. A few faint fire sparks flew away in the slight wind when he ground two stones together to start the fire.

"With so little wood you won't survive more than two hours" Someone complained behind him.

Hvitserk hastily picked up his axe and turned around to see who that was. Almost nobody knew why he left Kattegat. Every day he thought about how he killed the most famous shield maiden. The wisest witches and healers tried to bring her back. Daily sacrifices and even Hvitserk himself gave his blood in the attempt to revive her, but none of this was successful.

“Ivar?” He dropped the axe. “What are you doing here? Tell me, who sent you, huh?” He grinned.

“Brother, I am Ivar the Boneless, if this half fish is really more powerful than me then I have to see her.” Ivar didn't want to rely on the rumors.

“I don’t want to be a mermaid’s meal, so be kind Ivar.”

“I doubt we will find her, them, it, whatever” Ivar was quite unimpressed by Hvitserk’s enthusiasm. He was just looking forward to the little trip through Norway’s landscapes.

~~·······~~

They walked an extensive white sand beach in search of mussels whenthey heard stones rolling and humming high voices coming out of a big cave.

The sun shone through a big hole in the cave’s ceiling and illuminated two women laying on one another. They quietly tried to climb over the slippery stones in the entrance of the cavern to get closer.

The pureness of their naked bodies, never touched by a man, sliding against each other. Their bright silver-colored skins, glistening in the sunlight like sea pearls. Their wavy hair hid part of their faces. Rose lips sucking on the skin of the red-haired's neck while their thighs pressed around the other’s, spreading their juices over their intertwined legs. Two bodies soft as silk melting together, grinding their pussies and bringing each other to a shared pleasure.

It was silent, only their heavy breathing echoed in the big cave, making the squelching noises of their wetness hush. Their bodies harmonized and embraced; they took their time to satisfy each other without showing dominance.

She shivered at the feeling of the blue-haired’s teeth raking along the flesh of her throat. She was enticed by the way her tongue swirls and swipes the mounds of her chest, tasting the salty valley between her plump breasts. Addicted to the sight of her hips thrusting against her own, feeling the heat that wracked their entire bodies.

One hand roamed down the shape of her body and groped her ass. The blue-haired lifted her partner’s right leg and placed it over her shoulder, exposing her fully. She licked two fingers on her right hand and trailed them down over the red-haired thigh until she reached her cunt.

The red-haired pressed her beloved closer, having only a moment to breathe out before she delved her wet fingers inside her lover’s dripping walls. She stroked deeper, harder and faster; all the while nibbling the soft skin behind her earlobe. She pulled her fingers out and teased her entrance. Her tongue swirled over her lip, before she thrusted her fingers in one move again into her partner’s throbbing pussy adding one finger to stretch her more.

The red-haired pried her legs open andburied both hands in the other’s blue hair to trail her down, arching her back to catch each kiss she left. She brought her lover’s head between her legs and laid her mouth on her center, replacing her fingers. Her arms wrapped around the red-haired's thighs as her tongue dragged against her warmth, parting her folds to rub against her most sensitive spots. She moaned, savoring the taste of the one beneath her pulsating pussy, not missing a drop of her juices.

When her thumb brushes the smooth skin of her hard nipple, kneading it, the red-haired rewarded it with a melodic moan, a little louder this time. The strands of her red hair fell down from her face as she raised her head, revealing her gorgeous face. Her eyes shut tight and her lips trembled, before they spread in a euphoric moan with every slam of her thighs onto the blue-haired cheeks. She bucked her hips nearly throwing the blue-haired off her lap. Her hands looking for something to grip onto, settling them on blue locks. Seeing the lust-filled gaze of her beautiful girl tensed her body. Her end was near, the one above her flicked her tongue at a fast pace, curling it over clit once, twice until her body exploded in satisfaction, coating her mouth with her juices.

The shameless string of moans woke Hvitserk up from his trance.

“Do you think they are mermaids? Real mermaids?”

Ivar didn’t answer. Hvitserk hit him with his elbow, but h was totally obsessed from their magnet-like aura.

“Hey Ivar” He tried to get his attention again.

“What?!” Ivar finally could avert his gaze from them.

“I asked, if you think that these are mermaids?”

“Of course they are! Did you ever see a woman being so divine?!” It was obvious to him.

They heard a loud noise of something heavy dropping into the water but when they looked back to the place they were laying, both were gone.

“You idiot! See what you did, you should learn to speak more-”

“Mermaid! I can see you!” The mermaid’s colored hair reflected in the water. “Come out here! We don’t want to kill you!” Ivar ignored his brother and crawled over the slippery stones in their direction.

The red-haired rose confident out of the water presenting herself. Waterdrops covered her pale and shimmering skin. She titled her head to one side, focusing the two foreign men with her green eyes, without blinking.

“Vikings” She broke the intriguing silence. The way this word rolled of her tongue was tantalizing.

“We didn’t want to...uhm… “ Hvitserk stuttered ashamed about Ivar’s insolence. “We are looking for someone, a special woman, well she is more than a woman. Her name– “

“Ariel. I knew you would come. You’re here because of Lagertha’s death.” She completed his sentence.

The blue-haired came out from behind the rock and placed herself close to Ariel. Two goddess-like appearances, both the same; tall, hypnotizing them.

“Ariel. Hello Ariel” Ivar smirked, speaking in a seductive tone, scanning her naked body with his glance. “I assume you are the powerful creature Hvitserk needs.” He took a lazy step closer. ”Powerful and beautiful. I have a weakness for woman like you.” He confessed, brushing his lower lip between his teeth.

She approached and her cheek pressing lightly against his. Her damp red hair wet his armor as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“I know who you are Ivar. So let me tell you whoIam.” He closed his eyes to memorize her unique salty smell better. “I am not a woman, I am a mermaid and mermaids don’t need to deal with men. And...don’t you dare to touch me!” Ivar clenched his fist and lowered his hand again.

She leaned back and spoke to the more rational brother. “I can’t help you Hvitserk. I’m sorry you came here in vain.” She wasn’t a talkative creature, especially when she felt used.

“Hey silver skin, where are you going?” Ivar started to treat her rude out of frustration. “We are not done here.” Ivar followed her out of the cave to the beach.

“But the seer told me you can, you can revive people. I didn’t want to kill her, please, it was a mistake.” Hvitserk tried to persuade her from the distance.

“This is my home.” She admired the calm of the ocean. “I can save anyone who gets lost in the heart of the sea, but Lagertha is not there.”

“Hey!” She gasped as Ivar grabbed her arm to hold her back. She immediately closed her eyes and was benumbed.

“No” The blue haired yelled and hissed, pushing Ivar away. He let go of her and Ariel started breathing again. Her eyes opened and even if they hadn’t told her how Lagertha died, she already knew it. She felt what they felt and saw what they saw. There was no secret that remained hidden from her.

“It wasn’t you who killed her, you were deceived Hvitserk. I am unable to overpower a dark might.” Hvitserk bowed his head. “But she’s fine. She is with Ragnar and she forgives you…and you too, Ivar.” Ivar rolled his eyes.

Ariel took her beloved by the hand and both stepped into the little waves. The silver colour of their legs became more luminous and greener the longer they stood in the water.

“Let’s go back to our sisters, my dear. I can hear them calling.” Her long red hair framed the curves from her swaying hips.

“And Ivar- “ She looked over her shoulder “- as long as your heart craves revenge, you will never be able to love.”

The sunlight reflected on her emerald green scales before she disappeared with her dearest in the depth of the sea completely.

Ivar waited a moment longer hoping to see her one last time.

“Ivar, it’s over.” Hvitserk laid his arm on Ivar’s shoulder and pulled him away.

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[gaycey-sketchit]

(Gary anon) Eh, game rivals don't usually get the best treatment in the anime and that's a trend that's probably not going to stop soon. Not helped when a lot of people are hoping this new S/V one gets top billing next series. (And in true anime fashion, type advantages jobbing to make something look stronger reign supreme. At least Hatty got two attacks out) It's more like an epilogue, a post-story to the rivalry. Or rather Paul himself. (It's an interesting read, not too far off from)

.

(Part 2) (I usually heard from "behind-the-scenes" stuff) Especially when Blastoise is more mobile than ever, wasn't doing that pre-JN. And Hatterene using Dazzling Gleam as a shield like Gengar during Marnie. (Saw quite a bit of Japanese viewers compare to Ash's battle-style. I also some Palletshippers; on both ends, a bit miffed that there wasn't any moments with them here. Besides an congrats, I kinda expected that. But after hearing Gary supposedly watching Goh's battle)

(Part 3) (royale and his reasons why, I'm going to be more disappointed if he doesn't say anything about the PWC by November) We're going to see outrage regardless, it just won't be that. Cynthia losing is going to be a long week. (Subs are out, just mainly Gary and Goh sharing their resolves and getting more of Gary's motives: Apparently Gary's pride almost got him disqualified early on) While I'm still having a hard time calling this a "rivalry" more than mentoring,

(Part 4) I do appreciate how this plotline is helping flesh out Gary more. In a way that OS either half-missed out on or extends upon his Post-Johto growth in a bigger way than AG and DP. (The rivals who were going to be sneaky again actually end up aiding in the capture. Possible raid Dynamax battle foreshadowing) As for Paul, I already know the battle results cause leaks. Let's just say you and me are probably going to be happier with the episode than some people going

(Part 5) into it with expectations that were never promised. But, Paul having these Pokemon weren't coincidental; I'm just more curious on what he has to say. (Oh, and also one Masters matchup is likely known; does not contain Ash or Iris)

Yeah, true. Silver got only a brief cameo, Wally is nonexistent... oh well.

Yeah, at least it got a couple attacks in, that's better than what happened to poor Tyranitar.

That makes sense!

I'll have to take a look at it, I was distracted yesterday and it slipped my mind.

Yeah! It's been made abundantly clear that they've influenced each other over the years. It'd be so interesting for them to face each other in battle again, it's been way too long.

Yeah, I didn't expect much but it would've been nice. It's whatever. And yeah, hopefully he'll acknowledge the PWC, I'd be surprised if he didn't.

Unfortunately. I don't know if the fandom's always been like this and I was just less aware of it or if it's because way too many people hate Journeys but won't stop watching it just to complain (all the respect to people who decided they didn't like it and so stopped watching it) but it's exhausting.

Oh, that's an interesting detail. I appreciate that even as he's grown as a person, his pride is a core character trait that's been retained and can still cause problems. Good character writing there.

Yeah, it definitely feels more like a mentorship than a rivalry. But yeah this plot has been good for Gary's character! I'm glad he was brought back this way, I love what he's got going on.

Hm, interesting.

Oh. I've managed to evade leaks on that so far (though whether I'll be able to continue to do that until next Friday remains to be seen). But should be interesting. Yeah, more curious to hear what he has to say than about battle results anyway.

Oh? That's something. Very curious to see the matchups that happen.

[fayesdiary]

Corrin for the character ask thing?

You didn't mention any questions you wanted me to answer, so I'll just pick those myself! 1- Favourites thing(s) about this character?

Their kindness and mental fortitude!

Way, way back when I first started playing Fates I mentioned how astounding it was that Corrin went through all the shit in the first six chapters that take place around what, two weeks at most? And

2- What song(s) remind you of this character?

To quote @good-beans, 😐

4- Would you write about this character?

I am daydreaming about planning a Fates sequel featuring the two versions of them from Birthright and Conquest, which also includes a Revelation AU with a fallen Corrin who's under constant threat of degeneration.

Honestly, the real question is not "Would I", but "Will I actually write about them?"

Eh, that's up to the executive dysfunction demon to decide. help me

8-Do you think this character is underrated or overrated?

Underrated, absolutely!

They get a lot of undeserved hate from the fandom that's become pretty much self-sustained by this point, but the truth is there's a lot of endearing stuff about them that you can see if you just give them a fair chance!

9- What’s your favourite headcanon(s) for this character?

Post-Conquest Corrin spends most of their free time at the nearest lake, hoping they'll see Azura again, since they don't want to know she's dead. Sometimes one of their siblings joins in, but more often then not they're on their own, talking to Azura, hoping she can hear them wherever she is. Eventually it became a habit to self-reflect and voice their thoughts out loud as a way to vent.

10- Who do you like to ship with this character? (If you do of course) Is it another character from the cast or is it an OC?

I paired them with Felicia in Birthright because I think they're really cute together (also the idea of Princess Felicia fascinates me for some reason, especially in Birthright since... Flora), with Silas in Conquest because I kept pairing them up ingame anyway and with Annabelle in Revelations, mostly because I found the idea of Corrin's family becoming even more comically large really funny😂 Also I feel they make a good couple!

11- Who do you not like to ship with this character?

Their siblings, for starters (and yes, that includes Azura). But also characters whose age difference is too much from Corrin's alleged age, ranging from literal children to people old enough to be their parent.

But besides those big no-nos that have been beaten to death by literally everyone... I can't think of anyone, at least not right now.

16- What do you think would improve this character? Like, character-arc wise?

I really wish they weren't an avatar.

I made a whole essay about the narrative implications of Robin being an Avatar and it was lots of fun, but honestly? I don't like the way Fire Emblem handles avatars. At all.

Either they make it so that they're barely even a character with Dora the Explorer-level interactions or a fully fledged character that feels directly at conflict with being an avatar.

And then there's Byleth, that from what little I know about 3H is a mix of both, and that's just gonna be lovely when I play it /s But both variants feel incredibly jarring, and they break my immersion when they're meant to do the opposite, the first one with characters suddenly turning to the screen and addressing you, the latter because you can't choose how you talk or what to do, so they do a terrible job at being "you". Just look at how people love to complain about Corrin being "dumb" or whatever.

Just adding an avatar makes you lose so many things, both minor like the camera bending over backwards to not show their face in CG cutscenes since it's customizable or awkward 1st person POVs, characters not being able to call them by name.

And this is more debatable on how much it affects the writing, but I definitely won't deny that FE games with an avatar tend to have the problem of revolving more around the protagonist and needlessly complimenting them even when they fuck up, or them feeling a bit more generic or at least subdued to make them more relatable.

And while I feel Robin wasn't affected by this (...mostly, but even them I'd say them being an avatar worked really well considering the series' state by that point and... well, just read my essay above I'm too lazy to repeat myself), I think Corrin got hit hard.

Mind you, I still really like Corrin and I think most criticisms of them are overblown at best and disingenous at worst, but they're a terrible avatar, since the only choice you can make that actually matters is the route split, they have a backstory and family that "relatable" is the last word I'd use to describe, and in general they're really unique in the way they talk and act, so the avatar thing feels like a huge detriment to the character.

If they weren't an avatar, they'd probably be more open in their personality and we'd have more flavored character interactions, they'd get called out more when they mess up (then again, the fact that they don't is what makes the latter half of Conquest feel "wrong" in a way that fascinates me, because it feels like someone constantly reassuring themself everything's fine while the world's crashing down around them) and also we'd be able to actually see them emote in cutscenes!

Oh, and also we wouldn't have shit like them being able to marry their family and literal children.

17- Have you ever had a crush on this character…?

On male Corrin? I don't know, probably? On female Corrin? Absolutely, but then again I crush on so many FE/fictional women it's honestly embarassing😳

19- What would the show/book/movie game be like if this character wasn’t present?

IT WOULd Be BETtEr, fATes bAD lMAo

But seriously, it's so out there to imagine it could be its own big AU! Lilith would be Anankos' only child, and since she doesn't go to Nohr to watch over Corrin she would go to Hoshido to join Mikoto's side and pretty much get adopted.

So:

Princess Lilith being a Diviner

Mikoto bonding with her adopted(?) daughter and the two quietly going to Valla just to talk about... you know, together whenever they can

Yato and the prophecy don't show up and that's good because I hate prophecies (well, that or Lilith's kid could wield Yato?)

What's not to love? And yes, I will take every excuse to give my babey fish dragon the spotlight she sorely needed

Not sure where it would go after that, like: does Azura still get kidnapped? How does the war start in this universe? Without Corrin, how would they reach out to Nohr since none of them have pleasant memories about the place or people?

It could take so many different directions and I love it!

21- Wild card! Talk about anything to do with this character! Anything at all!

Why are Corrin's default hair light brown? (Or y'know, whatever their hair color is called)

According to FE logic, they should be either black or blue like Azura's, and while I get why they didn't go with the latter for spoilery reasons I wonder why they don't have Mikoto's hair color.

That or have Sumeragi have Corrin's default hair color as a red herring to mock the very convention, it would have been funny.

It's not a criticism or anything, it's just... a nitpick, I guess?

When I replay Fates with the Team If translation I'm definitely making Corrin's hair black! Character ask game

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Ninjago the Island!!! 🏝🏝🏝

So, gotta be honest... this is not a Blind reaction thing, I actually watched it in French first so I know most of the stuff already 😅 It's entertaining, it got great animation, but nothing more than that in my opinion 🤷‍♀️

Still there is stuff I liked or I want to point out, and finally I'm seeing the English version so I can actually understand what the HECK they are saying 🤩

Alright, nothing else to say, here we go!

UNCHARTED

I haven't actually seen anything Clutch Powers related before Ninjago, is he always like this? I love that he is a jerk honestly, just wondering 😂

Press F for respect for intern Dwaine (at least he seems to like being... used?)

Clutch: It's just a bunch of rocks! It's not alive!

Totem: I'm about to end this man's whole career

Wait, Misako is part of the explorers club? ... that would have come in handy in season 11 to get the scroll of Forbitten Spinjitzu from the club instead of begging uncle Powers for it... *sighs* I don't mind plot holes in Ninjago like most fans I think, but if you wanna make Misako relevant again at least pay attention to the details 😅

Wow, after the end of season 13 I would've thought Wu was going to go through a midlife crisis, not Misako 😂😂

Oww, everytime I hear I get 😢 Bless your soul Kirby, always in our hearts 🖤🖤🖤

Well hello Brian

Always nice to see you 😊

Twitchy Tim must have been pretty interesting to voice 🤔 I like him enough, he's fun and all, maybe not at the level of the characters we got last season

Okay, the place is called the STORM belt, there are LIGHTNINGS, and the sand of the beach is BLUE. Are we gonna address any of these similarities to our Bluebell here or not? 😅

Wait, Tim was giving a hot air balloon tour, does that mean other people where with him? What of them? Are they dead? Did he let them die on the island?... am I reading too much into this? Probably 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Alright, the part of the boats? SO COOL 🤩🤩 I literally can't say anything bad about the animation at this point

Why did they think leaving Kai, Jay and Cole on one boat was going to be a good idea 😂 Also Zane just randomly doing sick tricks on his vehicle, love that nindroid

I'm guessing Nya is keeping her water abilities for her season 🤷‍♀️

Yep, yep, this is why the creators try to keep Pixal out of the adventures, with her everything is way too cool and easy to access to 😎😎

Twitchy Tim: There are statues that become alive!!

Lloyd:... so it's a season 2 stone army ripoff, we've seen worse

It's a cute episode overall 👍

THE KEEPERS OF THE AMULET

OKAY THE INTRO IS SO FREAKING COOL 🤩🤩🤩🤩

So Twitchy Tim has temporarily taken over Jay's role of spazzing out and complain about worse case scenarios... in another occasion they might have bonded over this, maybe 😂

Okay, survival position? MOOD

Nya: DRAGOOON 😱

Me: DRAGOOOOOOON 😍😍😍

Why am I not surprised that Jay was the one that named him Zippy? 💙 Also HE'S SO CUTE 💕💕💕 Love how in every adventure, we always get very different types of dragon in this show 👌 I'm a simple person, I see a dragon... 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Oh-oh, it's the "Lloyd's done with this crap"'s face

This means serious business... am I that used to LEGO characters that this way of crossing arms on the chest looks almost normal to me? 😅

Soooo, Master of the Mountain clearly gave Cole too much development... because now he got demoted to "the one who is always hungry" 🤦‍♀️ I'm all for Cole's endearing love for cakes, which is super relatable, but if you're gonna push it on his fun side, at least be coherent 🙃

Is it just me or it feels like the writing of this special was made by someone different from the one of season 13? Like, it's not bad, just less engaging and witty. For now. Maybe I'm being premature 🤷‍♀️

New way of nerfing powers, we got... weird, sucking power totem thingies... OKAY

My gosh I really can't say anything about the animation, look at that! It's all cinematic with such a light! YES!! 🤩

I'M SORRY

WHY ARE WE LOOKING OVER THIS??? IT LOOKS LIKE COLE'S LAVA PUNCHES BUT THEY ARE JAY LIGHTNING FEET??? IT'S A GREAT IDEA AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT AGAIN??? WHY ARE WE IGNORING THIS??? 💙💙💙💙

So they at least addressed that lightning isn't a Jay's thing only anymore 😅

Alright, Jay having a mental breakdown because of a bridge because it always breaks, that's the Bluebell I know and love 😂😂 Nya telling him to keep moving was cute too 💙❤💙❤

Okay, I'm sorry but this really bothers me, what kind of lightning can instantly knock out the MASTER OF LIGHTNING??? Like, my gosh, really??? I hope they give us an explanation, like it's some sort of special lightning, because this really doesn't sit right with me. Jay is lightning proof, we've seen it in Skybound, we've seen it in Sons of Garmadon, I DON'T BELIEVE HE WOULD JUST BE KNOCKED OUT LIKE THAT 😡😡😡

Soooooo, storm amulet? Being one with the lightning? Is that the reason why Jay got to be the sacrifice? 😅

THE GIFT OF JAY

Alright, I am kinda looking forward for this one, what did Bluebell actually say or do to get him into trouble this time 😂😂

Oh, he just... introduced himself... well that was underwhelming

SENSEI👏YOU👏ARE👏A👏FREAKING👏GOD👏STOP👏GETTING👏KIDNAPPED👏BY👏RANDOM👏VILLAINS👏

Bring ooooon Lloyd Grills 💪

Okay I did like the little speech, definitely resonates with how Lloyd survived this long even though everything wanted him to give up, even his father... I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING 😭

Jay out there making the real questions 😂

Awwww Edna used to call him gift of Jay? I can totally see it, so cute 💙💙 Makes even more sense if Libber actually left Jay at the Walkers' door...

Pff, Jay made the connection I would've done honestly 🤷‍♀️ Like, him being the master of lightning really didn't give these dudes any impression or inspiration? Any cool idea, full Road of El Dorado style? 🙃🙃

Lloyd out there abusing of the animation budget 💚💚💚

Somehow these ninja never actual sneak in, it's always a huge mess everyone knows about beforehand 😂 It's familiar though, I'm used to it and happy with it 👍

I might not be the biggest Misako fan, but you know what I am a fan of?

LEGO HUGS 😍😍😍😍😍

Dang it uncle Powers, you just got here to make a mess did you 😅

Not the first person of the fandom to say this, but Jay looks absolutely lovely with that flower crown 🌺🌺🌺

Oh poor greenie

Lloyd just has the worst luck 😓

Jay: Why would I be the gift?

Kai: Yeah who would want Jay?

Nya: Huh, me?? 😡

Got some very good Jaya for this little special, can't complain 💙❤💙❤

I mean, not matter how big of a snake Wojira might turn out to be, we've already seen the biggest and the second biggest snake of all so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Whoa, at last... IT WAS THE FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER THAT HAD SOMETHING HE SHOULD'VE TOLD WU A LONG TIME AGO!! 😱 Wu, you got pulled a Wu, how does it feel? 😂

Again, Jay freaking out, kinda my jam it's too funny 💙💙

Wow Kai way to be hominous offscreen 👏👏 I miss talking about my flame babe, this really isn't his time 🤷‍♀️

THE TOOTH OF WOJIRA

So when I first watched this I was genuinely, really excited about knowing the truth behind all this. It turned out very different from what I first thought, but at least in this case it's okay (besides I was pushing with the lightning meaning just to see Libber again 😅😅😅)

I feel like the guys get their powers stolen or blocked so much it takes them a minute to remember "Oh wait I can literally burn my way out" 🤷‍♀️

SPINJITZU YAY 🤩

I... forgot that Misako knows how to fight 😅 She knows how to do spinjitzu too if I remember correctly...

NYA BEING LIKE "OUT OF THE WAY IMMA SAVE MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN" ❤💙❤💙

Gotta love how they were all crazy worried about Jay, like, this is something that never changes through the show. They really care so so much for each other 💕💕💕

Ooohhhh, okay, so Wojira does seem to be the main villain of next season according to the story. I remember Tommy saying that we needed to have faith and this is probably why. The special was okay, nothing too much, and hopefully that too much we will see in Nya's season 😍😍😍

What the- pff, I didn't notice this the first time 😂

At this point I can't tell if that one short with the chicken of the movie carried a hate or a love for chickens in the actual show 😂😂

Nice to see Jay standing up for himself at least for a little while 💪 Also Lloyd being "He's our trouble", aww family 💜

THERE IT IS

MY BRUISE HEART IS SOARING 🖤💙🖤💙

Gotta give props to the voice actors, voicing an explanation while fighting must be pretty hard! WE ARE BLESSED WITH AN AMAZING CAST!!! 🤩🤩🤩

And there he is, our favorite jerk... shaved Ronin 😂 He does look a little weird, but it's fair, new animation and all. Not the weirdest until now 🤷‍♀️

I genuinely had to make a mental check to see where we are with Ronin now, like, he started as a villain, then a partner, he betrayed us, became an ally, he hunted the ninja, then joined them, that timeline was erased, he was around in SoG and... wow this man is chaotic 😂😂

Yaaaay, Twitchy's last minute redemption act! Lloyd is too good at motivational speeches 👏👏

A bit of Lava OTP/BrOTP

Cause it's good for the heart ❤🖤❤🖤

Okay, Scooby doo reference, why not? Also honestly, I'm confident Ronin has seen A LOT of jails and prisons... probably won't stay behind bars for long 😅

Mammatus: sorry for imprisoning you and almost killing your friend

Kai: no biggie, that's how we make friends in this show

Alright the "And Clutch Powers" gag made me chuckle 😂 ... wait where is he- DANG IT UNCLE POWERS

Okay, this is the last time I say it I promise, but I mean. I MEAN

THE ANIMATION GUYS 😍😍😍

Aaaaand sensei you jinxed it 😅 But you apparently awakened Nya's season so I'm gonna forgive you on this one 😉

FINAL THOUGHTS

There are a few little details that bothered me a little, and it wasn't as exciting as I maybe hoped it was going to be, but it was fine. Enjoyable still. These characters make me like the show, even when it got nothing too impactful 🤷‍♀️

But I got triggered about that lightning thing with Jay 😅 I guess I'll just fanfic whatever I had in mind...

Don't have to repeat myself about the animation *chef's kiss*

The writing was really less engaging, a little normal in a way? Idk just a feeling. Nice to see Ronin again though, I really like him. And nice to see Jay freaking out, I really like that too 😂

To be honest I wanted to put down my thoughts on this one because I REALLY wanna do the same with Nya's season 🤩🤩 I already know that Maya is gonna be there and I am so HAPPY already!!! 💙💙💙

So that's it from me! Thank you for reading me ranting, see you next season! 😊

[selimunfridhirako]

Shinji Hirako x Reader

💜 The First Date💜

A/N: I haven't been writing much and I do deeply apologize for that, again this is my secondary account, my first is @targaryens-blog I'm no longer allowing submissions no longer accepting requests at this time but for selimunfridhirako I'll have the ask box open if anyone would like to send anons just chatting or discussing topics. now that's out of the way I am taking a break from writing bnha/mha and will be focusing on creating Bleach content! I'll be tagging a few of my favorite bleach blogs I've found while trying to find good ol bleach content writers and here's a few to list^^@shinji-slut @sexintheseireitei @seireiteisins @hirako5hinji @buriedinbleach @jazzandzanpakutos @theseireitei @thesecondcircleofkel

First I know none of us talk I'm just simply a fan of all your works and you all inspired me to write bleach again your all my favs and truly hope you never give up writing for your favorite fandoms. This is my first official time writing for Shinji Hirako and I guarantee it won't be as good lol but that's the point! I just wanna write whether it's good or not. Please enjoy this scenario! Also tagging @so---ft & @fi16ns ! Much love

-Tara

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Word count: 17k

Warnings ⚠️: minor Alcohol use

Pairing: Shinji Hirako x Fem reader

Prompt: You finally worked the courage to ask Shinji on a date after years of pinning after the male. How will this might turn out?

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*You shouldn't be this nervous. Twiddling your thumbs and eyes down casted. Your head soon followed the sound of Shinji's voice, complaining about being hungry. You giggled mostly to yourself before sighing. Your heart soars everytime he's near, shake your head when hiyori and him are having their little spats, you go out of your way to even bring the blonde new magazines to read for his downtime. Way more than you'd like to admit. Your friend nudges you and smiles. "Just ask him if you guys can talk privately, it'll be okay." They say. Oh how easy you wish it could actually be. To work up such a courageous act to simply ask a man on a date. It'd be much easier if he would do it instead. Girls don't ask boys out, do they?. Finally after minutes chewing on your bottom lip you finally stood from where you sat and casually sauntered over to where he was sitting on the couch. Face in hand, his light brown eyes scanned the room before landing on your frame. He noticed you're tense shoulders and opted to sit upright and his attention on you to hopefully ease you Of whatever nervousness you're feeling. "Shinji.. Can we go outside and talk?." He smiles sweetly before placing his magazine on the couch, forgotten and getting up to follow you out. Now here, him standing in front of you, the idea seemed far more difficult than before. His slouched position and hand in his pocket, his free hand begun scratching the back of his head not knowing what to do now. You start to feel your chest feel extremely heavy, and heart begun to drop in your stomach just by his body language. You were scared shitless on what to do now. "Nice day out, huh?." You said trying to start some small talk.*

*Shinji's head looked up towards the clear blue sky before mumbling a "Yeah." In agreement and leaning his back against the wall of the warehouse for support. Shit. This couldn't get any worse. Your eyes closed and mentally slapped yourself at how pathetic you were being choosing to play with the hem of your sweater instead. Little did you know that Shinji was watching your every move and expression in his peripheral. And decided to break the ice for you.*

*"So, whatdya need ta talk ta me bout'?." **Your (eye/color) eyes finally met his calm one's. Feeling ease creeping into your every fiber and relaxing, but only a little. "Well, I. I just wanted to know-. " you made a humming sound through your nose and rubbing your arm to calm your nerves. * *'just. Ask. Him'*

*"Date.. With. Me?." Silence. All that could be heard was the sound of the wind rustling the loose leaves on the street. Soon though, his smile grew into his signature smile and his eyes twinkled.*

*"Yer askin' me out on a date (Name)?."*

*You couldn't Shake your head any faster almost causing you to get dizzy at the eagerness. Before a soft smile shown on your features.*

*"Y-Yes! If. You want to.." Why were you so nervous? You've been on dates before? But then again asking first was singlehandedly the hardest thing you've ever done.*

*"Hmpf. Nev'a been asked by a cute girl before. T'sound nice. When is it?." His smooth voice rang in your ears and heart lept with excitement.*

*"How's 7:30 pm?."*

_______________________________________

Here now in your room, You stared at your reflection for the 20the time, finding something new that needed touched up and make-up to be reapplied. Fixing your hair and smoothing down the dress giving yourself another look over. The dress your friend helped you pick out was stunning. White knee length, with semi thick straps that connected in the back with a lace design. With floral flowers in the color of pinkish red and a sash that wrapped around your waist. Final thing to top off was a white and black laced shawl you'll use to wrap around your arms and a simple hand bag for your phone makeup and wallet. You felt that since you were the one that asked him out, you figured it be appropriate to pay for the two of you as well. Role reversed much?. You let out a soft laugh.

Hearing you're phone beep, you quickly pulled it out of your purse before checking the message

Shinji 🎷:*Hey doll, M'Here."*

A dust of Pink adorned your cheeks while you let out a giggle from the nickname he gave you, before dashing off from your room to meet him at the front door. Opening the door, Shinji turned to the sound, adorning in a white button up shirt with a black tie, suspenders, black slacks with a nice pair of white and black dress shoes and holding a dark blue jacket on his forearm. He pulls his sunglasses up on his head and gave a modest whistle. "Yer lookin great (Name). N' all dressed up fer me?." He became so comfortable with that statement that he landed a hand on your waist to pull you closer getting a wiff of your nice smelling perfume and shampoo. "Gorgeous."

You smiled looking down at the ground, pulling a stray hair behind your ear.

"You're looking incredible yourself Shinji." He scoffs.

"Nah. This ole' thing?. Ts'been collecting dust."

You playfully slapped his chest before walking down the steps to the side walk. "So I was thinking about this nice restaurant I seen walking with (friends/name), wanna check it out?."

Shinji threw his palm up to stop you.

"No darlin. This one on me. I know a good place." Taking your hand in his he throws his jacket over his shoulder and proceeds down the street to a jazz club downtown. During the walk you soon discovered he called ahead and even made a reservation. Your mouth hung open and gawked at how fast he moved. You had only asked him out that morning and already he's made arrangements? Your heart wasn't sure how much you could handle this man.

After sometime walking you made it to a building called *'Cocktails and Dreams'*. Shinji opened the door for you and followed inside. The room was not too dark, but not too light, there was red leather booths sitting along the walls and small rectangular tables wrapped in red satin silk filling the middle of the room, and at the end of the room stood a beautiful stage with red, blues, pinks and purple stage lights. A piano, saxophone, a couple electric guitars and a cello sitting on their perks with band mates beginning their routine. The smell of cigars and delicious food filled your senses as you looked around. There wasn't many people here, probably regulars and some folks sitting at the bar upon entering the building and to top off this classy place soft jazz music played. Filling your soul with something it hasn't felt in many years. Warmth and happiness.

You were brought from your thoughts when the waitress walked past you. "Your booth is this way sir." Shinji threw his arm around your waist and led you to where you'll be seated together. He leaned down to whisper in your right ear. "So, whatcha think doll face.? Yer kinda place?." Your spine shivered with anticipation and licked your lips before responding. "It's perfect." Whilst making eye contact. He smirks, when the waitress took the card off the table she gestured the two of you to sit while she asked you two what drinks to start with. Shinji allowed you to slide in first before following suit. "Ya wanna alcoholic beverage or just water fer now?." He asked leaning towards you with that smile you love so much. "Water for now please." He nodded, "Two waters."

The waitress wrote it down and set two menus for you both to look over. Even the menu was fancy. "Ya wanna talk first then order? Or jus order than talk?." You smiled before placing the menu down. Sitting your chin in both your palms you leaned towards Shinji looking directly at him. He scooted closer to the point of your legs touching and threw his arm on top the booth chair behind you. He looked easy going and relaxed. Eyes half lidded while he looked at you through his lashes. You couldn't help but move in next to him and laying your head on his shoulder. This display of physical intimacy surprised the both of you before he let out a hearty chuckle.

"Where's'tha blushy nervous cutie who asked me out this mornin? M'not sure why but I'm enjoyin this kinda attention." You laughed with him. "I don't know. I guess once the jitters wore off happiness replaced it." You felt his head tilt to peer at the crown of your head. "Yer happy?." You hummed in agreement. Before lifting to look at him face to face. "To be honest I've been pinning after you for awhile." You looked down at the table. His smile faded into a slight frown. "But.. Seeing the way you flirted with girls. I felt I'd never have a chance. Till' this morning." His smile was completely gone but he replaced it with a smirk when you looked back at him. "M'Sorry doll. Nev' expected ya ta even gimme a second glance." You rolled your eyes.

"Well of course I did!." You giggled while he feigned fake hurt. By this time the waitress walked back with your waters and placed them down. Shinji moved to collect them. But you felt the women's presence lurking. You looked up at her and she was staring directly at Shinji, "Are you ready to order now, sir?." He gave a curt nod your way as to ask you as well, when you picked up the menu you quickly picked the chef's choice, as you were nervous to take too long, Shinji picked the same one before handing the menu back to the lady. "Thank you I'll have that right out to you, sir." Before walking away. For some reason you couldn't help but feel as if she disregarded your presence and only noticed Shinji. He turned back to you.

"(Name)." You turned your head his way. "Yeah?." He held your hand in his lap tracing patterns on your skin. "Wanna dance?." You beamed before nodding excitedly. He slid out the booth with your hands still connected before pulling you to your feet and towards the dance floor. The music wasn't too fast but not too slow, and soon he begun spinning you in slow circles before pulling you close to his frame. You giggled. You could feel your hands getting clammy at the closeness as your hands moved to lay atop his shoulders while he swayed and twirled with you on the dance floor. A couple times you had accidentally tripped or stepped on his foot, mumbling apologies while he shrugged it off. He taught you a few jazz moves before doing the signature twirl and dip. His left arm wrapped securely around the mid of your back while the other held your hand. He leaned in close to your face, a blush creeping incredibly fast, heart thumping in your chest. Your eyes widened as his face kept inching closer to yours, your eyes slowly closed Before he landed a soft sweet longing kiss on your forehead and bringing you back upright to his chest. The music ended and people hollered and clapped before music transitioned into a soft melody again.

Grabbing his hand, you both sat back down while laughing amongst yourselves and by then the food arrived. Two words. Mouth watering. House salad with shrimp and steak and to top it off you both ordered a coconut breeze martini to go with the meal. Needless to say you were thankful he picked the place, you knew jazz was his thing and boy did he deliver. You both chatted about music, movies and other favorite topics. Going as far as to critique little details within each topic. His laughs were genuine and sweet. Something you never heard before now, and his body language wasn't so much as lazy and uncaring as most times, but attentive and serious while still retaining his comical behaviour. Everything was perfect, he listened to everything you said chiming in time to time to put in his opinions and comments while you did the same with him. Slight brushing of leg and arms, and occasionally leaning towards the other, lips caressing each other's cheeks while you spoke. Needlessly to say, you begun to get a slight buzz from the alcohol a red hue tinting your cheeks. Your giggles and eye smiles were the cutest thing Shinji had ever seen. You were far more relaxed and open with jokes. After two hours sitting and talking and eating, the waitress had come back for the final time to ask if you two wanted anything else, and if Shinji would like the bill. You went to reach for your purse to pay, but Shinji had moved his palm up to stop you as he did before. "It's on me darlin. I'm the man, 'mayyybe' next time ill'have ya pay." Your eyes widened for the up tenth time that night, trying to argue back that it was your treat. And then it hit you. *'next time ill'have ya pay.'*

Your hands shot up to hold your cheeks and stared at Shinji in shock. He laughed watching as you turned away with the brightest blush, *"he said next time? He wants to go out with me again?"* you squealed to yourself. Shinji watched with a soft smile as you had your monologue before seeing the waitress hand him the check, he thanked her before her hand touched his shoulder in a flirtatious way, his eyes narrowed at her gesture.

"I hope you have a nice night sir." She gave him a sultry smile and a wink before walking off to serve another round of tables. He scoffs, upon opening the check he seen a piece of torn paper with a note along with a number written on it. He scoffs again; *'if you want to spend a night with a real women, call me ;)-' (xxx) -xxx- xxxx'*

He makes quick work of the paper after writing the amount on the bill then left a note for the waitress. He didn't even bother to wait for her to collect the check before he insisted you and him leave for a walk. He slides out, taking your hand in his and helping you out of the booth and putting his hands on your hips to follow you outside.

The waitress had walked eagerly back to your tables to collect the check and plates. Quickly opening the check with anticipation before her face fell in disappointment.

*'Thanks, but I got a real women. Oh, and ya not gettin a tip :) hav'a nice night.'*

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the walk was even more peaceful, not so much chatting, just making small comments about the scenery or how well the food and music was.

Your eyes turned to look at Shinji. "I didn't want to bring this up, but I felt that the waitress-. " Shinji stiffened.

"Didn't like me very much." He hummed. "S'fine dollface. I took care of it." Your heart swelled you could hear your friends voice echoing through your head. *"Cuff him. Cuff him."*

You let out laugh to which caused Shinji to turn his head. "Wha'so funny?." You Shook your head and squeezed his hand, by this time you both had made it to your home. He walked you to your door. "Well. This is me." He begun to slouch and scratch his head again mumbling to himself. The action would've made you think he was disinterested but the light pink hue dusting his cheeks told another story. You laughed at him and placed a hand on his upper arm drawing him from his thoughts. His soft brown eyes scanned your features before walking closer to you holding your hand in his with utmost care.

"Shinji."

"Yes dear?."

"Can. We do this again?."

He smiles. "Absolutely."

It was your turn to smile. Before your hands followed his arms up to his shoulders, and stopping at where his neck connects, soft hands wrapping where his neck starts and peering into his eyes with heated passion. You sighed softly smelling his expensive cologne.

"(Name)."

"Yes?."

"May I, kiss ya now?. Fer real this time."

You stood on your tiptoes to get closer to his face. Pulling his face only centimeters away from where you wanted him the most. Your lips were parted for him, his eyes lowered from her irises to your parted pink lips.

Before finally closing the gap to a kiss as Swift and loving as the first shine of sun adorning the horizon. And left little to the imagination of his feelings towards you. You wish you could say the kiss was short but you both held it for as long as your lungs could allow, before finally parting for air at last.

Breathless and full of love.

"I'll see ya tomorrow yeah?." You nodded excitedly before pulling him in for a hug. "Goodnight shinji. Thank you for a wonderful time."

He gives you one more squeeze before letting you go and walking in the direction of the warehouse. You leaned against your front door after sighing dreamily to yourself. You should ask him out more often.

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END.

A/N: hope this was amazing unfortunately my computer is down so I had to do all of this on mobile and wasn't able to put a Read More™ link. It was supposed to be a short one shot to get me started but inspiration bug hit so I apologize for the long post. I hope you enjoyed, my ask box for this side blog is open feel free to slide in and say hi! Love you all and more works will be upcoming ~ stay tuned. Much love

- Tara 🐉🔮

[boycrazy-fanfic]

Kindergarten Boyfriend

Fandom: Heathers

Word Count: 1198

Pairing: Ram Sweeney x Male Reader

"There was a boy I met in kindergarten, he was sweet, he said that I was smart. He was good at sports and people liked him, and at nap-time once, we shared a mat.

For as long as I can remember, Ram Sweeney had been gay. Not the flamboyant gay, or the nerdy gay. No, Ram Sweeney was the all too rare jock that just happened to not like girls. He had always been really into sports. Even though I couldn't say the same for myself, we always had fun together.

Although I didn't fully realize my sexuality until later, Ram and I had been "dating" since we met all those years ago. I know it sounds cliché, but we were basically best friends with benefits. I know what you're thinking, and it certainly wasn't like that (especially cause we were both five). Looking back, it was pretty insane that I had my first kiss with him that same year. Granted, it was nothing more than a peck on the lips, but back then, we thought it was the funniest thing. There weren't any romantic intentions behind our kisses, yet, but I remember enjoying them nonetheless.

The label of "boyfriend" didn't come about until the Valentine's Day of 8th grade. Our bodies were changing and we were feeling a lot more than we ever had. I remember being excited to go to school that day because in the week before, Ram and I decided to get each other something for this Valentine's Day.

'Happy Valentine's Day,' I said, handing him his gift. A box of chocolates no larger than my palm. It only contained three or four pieces because I couldn't go all out considering my parents didn't like me getting Valentine's gifts for another guy. I kissed his cheek and gave him a quick hug before going back to my desk.

After the first bell rang, Ram quickly got out of his seat and walked towards my desk. I realized he was holding a card and a bag of M&M's (those are my favorite). He handed me the candy and smiled, his face reddening by the second. Obviously trying to muster up the courage to continue. Ram cleared his throat and proceeded to read the card out loud, in front of the entire class, much to the dismay of our teacher.

'To my brilliant boyfriend. I thank God you came along. My gorgeous guy, who's tough and strong. Who makes me laugh, and keeps me calm, who's full of warmth, and endless charm.'

I was in love with Ram Sweeney. All the signs pointed in that direction. The butterflies when he spoke, the racing heartbeat when he would hold my hand, the random smiles we'd always give each other. I always knew Ram and I had something special, but I hadn't realized what it was until then. The reason I never looked at anyone else was that it had always been Ram and I. We never needed anyone else 'cause we always had each other. All the late-night phone calls, FaceTimes, study sessions ('cause we all know Ram isn't the brightest when it comes to school).

'We've been doing whatever you call this for eight years now and I'm ready to make us official. Everyone in Sherwood knows we belong together, and I know you do too. What do you say? Wanna be my boyfriend?' He asked. He took a deep breath and smiled, clearly satisfied with himself.

'Duh!' I exclaimed. I don't know why I was so excited, I knew that literally, nothing would change except we had a label now. We were basically dating before. I got up and hugged him almost instantly. I was swept up in all of this emotion that I almost forgot we were in class. I could see our teacher certainly wasn't entertained. He wasn't fuming but I could tell he wasn't pleased.

'Despite how heartwarming that was, I suggest you two have a seat before I have to assign detentions for delaying class,' he said, using air quotations around "heartwarming". We sat down and I spent the rest of the day thinking about what had just happened. To be honest, asking me out was purely a formality.

Freshman year, Ram decided to try out for the football team. Even though it meant we wouldn't spend as much time together, I was still happy for him. He really loves it and he's good too. He's not varsity good, but for a freshman, he's fantastic. Over the course of football season, Ram met this guy, Kurt. Ram started to hang out with him and they became good friends. Kurt and Ram were practically inseparable.

Unfortunately, Kurt was an established homophobe. So, not wanting to hide it any longer, Ram finally came out to Kurt and told him that we were dating, which felt nice to hear him say. Ram was basically Kurt's only friend and a good one at that. He didn't want to lose his only friend so he decided to try and be more accepting. Kurt would sometimes even tag along when Ram and I would go on dates. Which admittedly did bother me sometimes. But, Kurt got a lot better so I didn't mind having a third wheel around most of the time.

That brings us to senior year. Ram and I couldn't have been better. We were hanging out whenever we were free. Plus, Ram insisted on driving me to school every morning and driving me home on the days that he didn't have practice. Sometimes Kurt would join us on our way to school but most days he was too busy driving his girlfriend to school. In those three years, Kurt and Ram really improved football-wise. Kurt had become the quarterback and Ram had become the best defensive linebacker this school had ever seen. It had been three years and I still wasn't quite sure what a defensive linebacker was despite Ram's constant reminders 'cause he knew I wouldn’t remember. He truly was amazing, though.

Now I won't say your dad was the perfect boyfriend. We certainly had our fair share of bad times. Hell, we almost broke up one time. But, he's my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope someday when you're older, you'll find someone who loves and cherishes you as much as your dad and I love and cherish each other, and you guys." I finished.

"Don't worry, Y/N, they will," Ram said, putting his arm around me and pecking my cheek. "Our kids are great, they'll have no trouble finding someone just as great as they are." He presses a soft kiss onto my lips as our kids roll their eyes and walk away, pretending to barf. 

"Get outta here you two!" Ram laughs and hurls a pillow at them causing them to run out giggling, trying to avoid being hit. Ram really is the best. We've been married for three years now and have two beautiful kids.  Honestly it feels like we've been married forever. I'm certainly not complaining though. Life with Ram is like a dream, luckily for me, I haven't woken up yet.