#whatever man this is just a stupid pun that i like lol it's not that deep

[hydn-jpg]

based on this stupid pick-up line that i have no business liking so much but do anyway

(idc how you say his name in other stuff but for this joke it's specifically pronounced Noël/'no-elle')

[fbfh]

Tristin Dugray relationship and intimacy hcs

wc: 1.1k

pairing: tristin x afab reader

genre: smut smut feelings smut

warnings: dumbfucking, tristin is a cocky bastard and a slut and a whore (all affectionate), pussydrunk tristin, brief mentions of exhibitionism and tristin having bull energy, hickeys, cute jealousy, tristin is an attention whore (affectionate), other girls are jelly of you bc tristin likes you that fuckin much, tristin has a vaguely bad homelife, use of mary as a pet name

song recs: mary - alex g, break my heart - spectacular cast

a/n: this boy.... has consumed way more of my brain space than I anticipated??? he grabbed me by the fucking throat lol

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280

As with all nsfw works all characters are aged up to 18+

That being said HOLY SHIT LETS GET INTO IT

Tristin Dugray is one horny motherfucker

Like really seriously horny

Stage 5 thirsty for you specifically 

Like I said in that one drabble he’s a cocky attention whore until a certain point

Then he just gets completely stupid

His goal is to fuck both of you absolutely dumb, and he’s really good at it 

Even when he has you both completely stupid, he’s still gonna keep going 

Like until he collapses on top of you 

But before he gets so pussydrunk that all he can do is pant and grunt and whine in your ear

He absolutely talks you through it

God this boy just can’t shut up can he

So he’ll guide you and tease you and coax more and more out of you

He’ll call you mary and babble out praise

And he’ll soak up every expression you make

Every noise you let out

GOD just looking at you??? It takes so much energy not to cum on the spot

Tristin already knows that no one can fuck you like he can

But he’s even more willing to prove it for you

Not gonna lie, he has major bull energy

Tristin can sweep you off your feet and charm you away from anyone else vying for your attention

Then he can push his fat cock snugly inside you and make you squirt and shower you with attention

He ruins you for anyone else by giving you ultimate princess treatment

God the duality of this man

Speaking of his fat cock, he’s hung like a goddamn horse

Like he’s already so fucking perfect

He’s hot as fuck, loaded, actually has a personality, he likes you that much, he’s loyal

And he’s packing??????

It’s almost unfair

But yeah Tristin is the whole package (pun intended)

He can do whatever he wants. Literally anything.

Because he’s this hot, you’re going to have to be prepared for a lot of jealousy from the plethora of girls who have a crush on him

Which is almost all of them

Girls get so fucking pissed when you have bruises and hickeys and can’t walk

Like seriously

It’s impossible to be friends with any girls that know Tristin because boy keeps you marked up

And they don’t like that

He’s so tantalizingly close to them but agonizingly out of reach

They hate it even more when he smells like you and has your love bites all over him

He proudly shows that shit off

Along with all the scratches you leave on his back

And an occasional pair of panties left in his pocket

Nothing makes him happier than having your scent and marks and presence all over him

Once he finds out about bra strap bracelets????? You make him one and he will never take that shit off

Gets pouty when his hickeys fade and asks you for more

He pulls you into his lap and bites your ear playfully

“Well Mary, your friends need to know that I’m taken, don’t they?”

“It’s not my friends that I’m worried about…”

He pauses kissing your neck to look up at you with a cocky gaze just full of victory as your words sink in

“You are jealous…”

GOD HE LOVES WHEN YOU GET JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE OVER HIM

ACTUALLY MAKES HIM MOTHERFUCKING FERAL

It has this energy

Oh my god oh my god and watching his hair grow back out from his military school buzzcut???

When it’s finally long enough to tug and flop over and tickle your face and neck while he fucks you?????

And brush all softly against your thighs when he goes down on you???????

Best era tbh

And Tristin really does love going down on you a lot

He has some almost pleasure dom tendencies???

Someone hose this boy down

Just fucking neuter him at this point

Seriously once he gets a taste of you, it’s game over

Tristin is easily the biggest fucking slut you’ve ever met

But he’s only a slut for you

Literally

All he wants is you

So when he has you, he’s going all out

All the way

Hitting all the spots (literally and figuratively)

Don’t let him find out about your g spot

He already abuses your clit enough as it is

Just cause he loves the face you make when you orgasm

He gets kind of obsessed with making you cum

Seriously he will sneak off with you for quickies and hand stuff in some really risky places

He doesn’t even care about getting caught at this point

He just loves seeing how nervous and turned on it makes you

And he loves having something to tease you about

Seriously this man will whore himself out to you at a moments notice

He’s so fucking touch starved that it’s really nice to have something long term and serious with you like this

It’s all he’s wanted for a really long time

Even with Summer, he tried everything he could to make it work

I think it’s safe to assume he has a similar homelife to Paris

Specifically from the quote regarding Paris’s baggage when Tristin said “yeah, [I have] a matching set”

You’re not being too subtle there babe

So with all the inconsistencies and instability he’s dealt with through the years

You really are a breath of fresh air

Tristin wants to be committed

He wants someone that he can give all of himself to

When he met you there was a terrifying moment where he felt his priorities shift

He knew that if his options were a safe choice or you, he’d choose you hands down

But now he gets both

He gets that consistency and devotion and commitment 

And he gets it with you

So you better believe he is not fucking this up

He is going to put everything he has into this

Because he knows how you deserve to be treated

And he knows he can’t lose you

Which means he just has to be the kind of man that you deserve

One of the most beautiful parts of dating Tristin is getting to grow together and watch him really blossom alongside you

You are the catalyst

You are what made him into who he is today

And he wouldn’t want this with anyone else but you

[kimberly-spirits13]

How Bruce Wayne Is On Your Period

This is really just meant to make me feel better tbh- lol kill me

He won't tell you, but he knows that it's starting 

like come on- the mood swings are terrible, you get more violent on patrol (you put Joker in the hospital for a few days), you're quicker to be snide towards shady business partners, you cried when you dropped a cracker and then went right back to normal, like seriously 

When you start to get bad PMS symptoms, you don't do patrol for the week

It's hard to control feelings, thoughts, and painful cramps while fighting crime

You're basically on probation from patrol

You and Alfred make a lot of food (or Alfred makes it happily and you devour it)

Bruce tries not to stay away during patrol for too long since you start to worry about him and he really, really worries about you when you're not feeling well

He makes sure to bring home lots and lots and lots of chocolate and meds if that's what you need

Goes to your favorite bakery and gets a massive amount of whatever you want 

Makes sure that you get plenty of water

like all the water because it helps so much 

Is totally fine with you raiding his closet for any sweatpants and massive t shirts

doesn't care if there's blood anywhere or if you ruin a set of sheets

he's a billionaire, it's not a loss 

he makes sure you aren't uncomfortable or if you need space, that you have it but you know that he's there when you need 

Sometimes being around guys when you're on your period is gross and idk why it's just like ugh get away from me you trash bag 

speaking of trash bags, if anything grosses you out or starts to make you feel icky (even if it usually doesn't), he totally removes it from your presence 

for me, it's cheese and weird or strong smelling things 

or anything that looks slimy or too rough *bleh*

If you're ever feeling bloated or just really really gross, Bruce is the hype man

"no gorgeous, you're stunning, exquisite, perfect, amazing, I'm in the presence of an angel babe." he'll spin you around and press kisses all over you 

"No, don't say that about yourself, you're so pretty, you're not gross."

I mean he's like this all the time, but he'd definitely play way way into it if you're feeling down

If you're married and wearing a wedding ring, he gets the ring custom made to be adjustable incase you fingers swell 

I can see you expressing something nasty about yourself like that you hate a scar or you feel like you're stupid or something and he'll start crying when you start crying 

like don't say that dude it's not nice to yourself 

You feel like a sweaty hog because your body is pushing out blood and tissue 

you're going into mini labour, leave yourself alone

When you can't sleep, he pulls you very tightly into him and plays with your hair 

braids it into a hundred tiny braids or brushes it 

anything that relaxes you

you probably have a treasure trove of comfort movies and tv shows and if you can't sleep or just want to watch something, he'll happily stay up with blankets wrapped around the two of you and watch whatever

rubs your back and makes sure that you're taking pain medicine every few hours to stay in your system 

sometimes when he's working in the cave and you're lonely but not feeling good, you'll wrap yourself in a large blanket and sit on his lap, head against his chest while he works

He thinks you're like a cat and finds it adorable 

You basically turn into a cat for a week and maybe some change and he finds it very very funny

makes sure that there are no galas or any meetings that you have to deal with

plans events and meetings around your periods to make sure that when you're on it, you don't have to deal with high society because they make anyone's blood boil (no pun intended)

When you get mad or start crying, he doesn't take it personally at all and just lets you get it out

sometimes laying in the fetal position for a few hours and falling asleep is the best thing that can happen for periods and he will happily cuddle you the entire time, even if it's not the optimal position for cuddling 

he tries to stay as neutral as possible on subjects when you're on your period so that you don't kill someone because he seemed equally as unhappy 

trust me, period mood swings are incapacitating, it's not a snarky thing, it's just so so sosososoososososoooooooo bad

please don't talk to me when I'm in my mood swing phase, I'll accidentally insult you and then cry about it later or decide never to talk to you again 

Local villains will not pull insane shenanigans while you're on you're period because they're terrified 

Terrified. 

if batman has to call in the calvary, its the calvary call out of hell

You're busting skulls and taking names the entire time 

Bruce is scared, the villain is scared, everyone is terrified of this blood thirsty being that wants everyone to be in as much pain as they are

Bruce knows that the world is insufferable and being super hormonal and feeling disgusting and being in pain doesn't help ignoring that fact, or even just living with it

He just wants you to feel better 

Bruce gets sad when you don't feel well 😂

[floof-wulf030]

GIVE ME UR DON PAOLO THOUGHTS HES AN INTERESTING CHARACTER IVE HARDLY SEEN TALED ABT

Ummm…. Where do I start?

Yeah he doesn’t really get talked about a lot… though I’m not really surprised because you know…

I feel like many don’t really care much about or always forget about him.. like yeah there are some people who like him but??? It seems like people focus more on villains that are more complex and sympathetic. (Which… DON’T GET ME WRONG! I totally understand that and I love those too, and I’m also a huge fan of Clive and Descole too but this ain’t about them..)

I know Paul doesn’t really have this tragic backstory like the rest of them but hey not all villains need a tragic backstory right?? Sure the reason of him being evil is ridiculous and stupid but I personally think it fits his character more. I personally find it funny and a little entertaining. Tbh I never really did expect him to be very complex even before playing Lost Future a year ago. However yes, parts of me wished Level-5 gave Don Paolo more time to marinate as a character. One thing that bothered me though was the whole thing about him being exiled from the society of scholars. Like it was only mentioned in Curious Village then it was never talked about ever again?? Like whatever happened to that???

In general though, I really like Don Paolo aesthetically. I established this many times already but I just love wacky and goofy looking villains, probably even more than the whole “Tall dark and Handsome” ones. Again, don’t get me wrong I love those too! There are many handsome villain designs that I love. I just find myself fawn more towards the weirdos lol, LET THEM BE WHIMSICAL CREATURES. (Kinda wished we had more of those in the PL series if I have to be honest here..) His design definitely reminds me of Dick Dastardly or Robbie Rotten, which both were some of my favorite villain characters from my childhood lol. Maybe because of the whole color scheme. I feel like SOME also don’t really pay an attention to him either was because he’s not one of the attractive ones, idk??? Honestly that’s what I really like about him though! Also the whole disguising thing with the latex masks?? Like how the hell did he PULL that off? (No pun intended) How was he able to change his size? This man is like spineless or perhaps just liquid!

My favorite tiny little fact about him is that he plays music. I know this could refer to listening to music, but him being some sort of musician is so fun and interesting to think about. Like what instrument would he play? I’ve seen some people hc him being a guitarist which I’m totally on board for. The fact that he likes playing music and that he’s also Tomohito Nishiura’s (The composer for the PL games) favorite character is really cool :3

Anyways yeah! I personally think Don Paolo deserves more love and appreciation than what he was given. I noticed he’s been lacking some fanart (oh and fanfics too), which is why I’ve been wanting to draw him a lot more often. Just to fill up the tag (and that empty void in my heart) Ngl at first impression I thought he was going to be hard to draw but it turns out that he is really fun to doodle

I would love to talk more about him but for now I’ll leave it here, because I’ve been typing for so long lmaooo.

Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk

(Also feel free to leave any thoughts if you have any)

[obae-me]

MYYYY GOSHHHH. I was the one who sent the original, Siren!Lucifer ask and I COULDN'T HAVE IMAGINED THIS!! All the things ppl added onto it is just... chef's kiss! All these mindboggling hc's got me all kicking my feet and giggling like a schoolgirl oof >.< It has made my brainrot a thousand times worse!! XD

While I am still not a 100% satisfied with my writing abilities, here- I wanted to try a lil sumn-

You keep coming back to the beach. Maybe not every day, but still enough to have you questioning your sanity for willingly walking back to danger like this. The man... or mermaid? Or whatever it was you saw that day had grabbed your interest and was holding onto it tightly with those clawed hands of his. Your first encounter with him felt like a fever dream. You had never seen a man so inhumanely beautiful with those bright red eyes, and lithe body bathed in the moonlight. It had taken you a while to actually compute what you were seeing infront of yourself; because this wasn't a man to begin with. A gorgeous red tail replaced the space where a pair of human legs should've been.

It was an awkward affair when your eyes had met his. He stared for a while; still singing in that almost bioelectric voice of his? You truly hadn't heard anything like it to compare it to, but it felt like his voice was reverberating inside your head. Only to look at you with confusion after he stopped singing; as if you'd grown 2 heads when you still stood the same distance away from him than you had been before. His eyes narrowed and you could almost feel the irritation itching under his skin through his stare. You both stood still... just staring at each other until he gave up with a huff and splashed into the inky depths of the ocean.

This was the fifth time you were going to see him. The second time you found him (3 days after the incident) went a little better. You managed to wrangle a name out of him in exchange of yours and the fact that he was a Siren. You had heard of them before, but only in folktales and never took them seriously, but the man sitting on the rocks before you clearly proved otherwise. You wondered if their existence was the reason so many people went missing at sea; their bodies never found.

You were not stupid; as down in the dumps you were (enough to keep seeking his company against your better judgement) and wanting to escape this life of yours, his sharp black claws and fangs that poked out every time he spoke were warning enough to keep you standing a good distance away from the water on the sand. He could absolutely rip you to shreds; you were sure of that, but he kept coming back yet always sat by those rocks; not coming closer yet not moving away. You wondered why, but it seemed that it had something to do with his frustration. (Unknown to you was the fact, that by you not being brainwashed after listening to his song, you had dealt a massive blow to his ego. He simply COULD not digest the fact that YOU KEPT COMING BACK and still escaped him every time. He decided then and there, that no matter how long it took, you won't get one over him. He wanted to absolutely DEVOUR you out of spite.)

After the initial rocky start (lol pun was not intended) things fell into a weird yet comforting routine. You would always seek him out, sit on the beach and just... talk about anything and everything. He was a breath of fresh air from the oppressive routine you had found yourself stuck in. Time with him was an escape from the worries and regrets that plagued your mind and you always felt disappointed when it was time to go back. You'd talk about your classes, your parents, what you ate for lunch, your friends and how sometimes it felt that things were spiraling out of control in your own life. He'd always listen attentively and in turn tell you about his brothers' shenanigans (it took a long time for him to tell you about himself in the first place), and the everyday stresses of his own life.

It greatly amused you that even sirens couldn't escape from the worries of everyday life, and the stories about his brothers made you laugh till your stomach hurt. Slowly but surely, the distance between you became shorter. You sat closer, till your feet grazed the gentle waves, and he decided the rock that was a little further ahead in the shallower waters was now his seating of choice.

You kept wanting to tell him, but stopped just shy; of how much color he had brought back to your dull life. Some days the air shifts and you both forgo the routine just a little for each others' sakes. You talk about how inadequate you felt sometimes, how you wished you could go back and do it all right, how you feel so scared and hurt from the people who were supposed to love you the most. He talks about how he wishes he could be closer to his brothers, repair the bonds he broke and take away the pain he caused them, how his family was all he cared about and how he himself ruined it. In those tender moments you feel the need to reach out him, hold his hand and to somehow lessen the burdens that muddies the brilliant red of his eyes and sag his shoulders in exhaustion.

.

.

.

Of course you should've known better. You did know better. When time and time again the world had proven to you that the only one you can truly trust is yourself. You don't know why you let the walls you spent so long building around yourself crumble infront of him so easily, because as Lucifer lied on top you; one hand pinning you down and the other posed right at your jugular, you wonder when you had gotten so careless. His eyes; the first thing you had noticed about him, brewed up a storm and his mouth set in a hard line. You didn't cry. You didn't scream. How cruel was it of him to give you hope to live, only to rip it away from you in an instance. But at the end of the day you only have yourself to blame. After all the only one you have is yourself in this world...

[Oof it got so long, I didn't expect this- sorry~~~]

Aaaaaaaah, I'm absolutely flailing and sobbing! The allure of this AU is too strong! I can't!

Thank you for writing all this out to share with me, omg, it's beautiful. It feels like a special gift that I will be archiving in my favorites tag! So sweet, I love things like this, I love feeling the passion and excitement behind people's words. It's so invigorating and is actually making me want to write again (I've been in the dumps and have lost a lot of motivation to do the things I enjoy, but that's neither here nor there).

I love this back and forth Siren ideas with everyone, it's making my week!

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

s/o brings skellie to a family reunion, but the family doesnt really like s/o.s/o was doing something like getting the plates or something so the family seats the skellie next to s/o's sibling, who's being very flirty towards him. eventually the s/o comes back, sees/knwos whats going on, and deciced to sit on the skellies lap instead.

(sorry if my english is bad, im from mexico!)

Undertale Sans - He's not comfortable. He can see very clearly in your sibling's little game and he hates it. And as he tenses more and more, he might ask them to stop with a pun, to not put you into trouble. If they keep pushing he won't hesitate to be a little less nice though, with black sockets. He's glad when you're back.

Undertale Papyrus - He talks with your sibling but pretends he doesn't see they're trying to flirt with him just to hurt you, playing the idiot like he doesn't see at all they're flirting. You know him though and you can tell he's more and more annoyed as they keep insisting. Your rescue is more than welcome. Papyrus hugs you a bit protectively.

Underswap Sans - As they start to talk to him, he stands up and goes to help his S/O dress the table, completely ignoring them lol. He then sits back next to his S/O, far away from the odious trap your family set for him. He's not stupid you know, and just your sibling thinking he is so means they will never trust them.

Underswap Papyrus - He wants to disappear. He's very uncomfortable and desperately trying to flee to join you, but your sibling keeps insisting and worse, touching him and he keeps staring your way to ask for help. He's way too nice to snap at you, he just wants you gone. Once his S/O is on his lap, he's hiding behind them lol.

Underfell Sans - "are ya trying to seduce me just to piss off my angel? 'cause that's not working, bitch." Yeah, he's not buying it and he will definitely call them out out loud, with no shame. Your sibling gets mad their plan failed and goes to sit somewhere else. Yeah, run away coward.

Underfell Papyrus - He says nothing because he is well educated but you can see his face is becoming more red as he is slowly losing his patience. Your sibling keeps pushing and grabs his hand, only to be rewarded by a long ugly low scary growl. Yeah, if they're clever, they won't continue bothering him more. He hods you protectively once you come back, staring at your sibling straight in the eyes so they get the message.

Horrortale Sans - He yawns lol. They keep talking, they're boring. He just came because you said food was the only good thing in this house and he starts to understand why. Your sibling is offended, even more when Oak starts to purr when you sit on his lap, happy you're there. That man has heart eyes only for you.

Horrortale Papyrus - His smile is tight as you keep trying to flirt with him. But Willow has a lot less patience than good old classic Papyrus, and he is slowly starting to boil inside. When they touch his hand, he instinctively slaps them away with his other hand lol. He then starts to lecture them about boundaries because you're starting to piss him off, and clearly, you can't read how annoyed he is right now. Your sibling looks down like a child, as he welcomes you back, smiling victoriously.

Swapfell Sans - He plays along, flirting with you as well, then leans down to whisper in your ear seductively: "IF YOU KEEP TOUCHING MY ARM, I WILL STAB YOUR HAND." He then smiles creepily at you and watches in pure glee as you're dragging your chair as far away you can. You raise an eyebrow seeing this, he just smiles innocently at you.

Swapfell Papyrus - He plays along, doing his best to know them, then he just "do you want to see something cool? i only show that to my true friends". As you nod excitedly, staring at his S/O who can see clearly he's just toying with you, he puts something in your hand. "that chicken mcnugget has been in my jacket for four years now." You scream and throw whatever you're holding in the air as he just chuckles. It's literally just some green and black playdough, but it's working every time. He then laughs at your misery with his S/O. Better luck next time.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He stares at your sibling, grimaces, and then just "Ew." before he pushes his chair on the opposite way to get away from them. Your sibling gasps loudly and insults him. Wine doesn't care, and even says that, at least, he is honest with his own feelings unlike them. In seconds, your living room turns into a battlefield as your mother starts to scream that's not how guests are supposed to behave, to which he answers that it's not how a family is supposed to care about his S/O, but he didn't say it out loud. You're both asked to leave lol. Wine shrugs and takes you to have lunch in a five-star restaurant because at least he knows what you are worth. Wine is not welcome in your family anymore :')

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He doesn't care about the flirting, all he sees is a perfect stranger, talking to him, and he's so stressed right now. His anxiety is rising buildings as he desperately tries to get closer to his S/O, not answering anything your sibling says. He ends up running to you and clings to you like a koala, scared. Please save him from all this socialization, he doesn't like it.

[finniestoncrane]

I refuse to accept any interpretation of Mister freeze, where he isnt at least a little silly. I'm sorry but that man went into cryogenics because his last name sounded like "freeze" and he thought it was funny, and if you don't agree with me you're wrong. He makes too many ice puns for this to not be the case

LMAOOOOO the concept of him deciding his entire career based on his name and then finding out his wife is very ill and being like "oh, well isn't this just a very fortunate coincidence" and freezing her holy shit lmao

i don't think a batman villain is real until they have made a stupid pun or a joke or dorky catchphrase i refuse to let themselves be serious like yeah whatever jonathan crane can have me on my knees threatening me with the fear toxin and telling me what he's going to do to me in that gravelly voice, but at the end of the day, he called his goons strawmen, which is fuckin hilarious and such goober behaviour u-u

like i'm supposed to be scared when the cryo gun gets pointed at me and victor yells "SAY FREEZE?" lol buddy what is this, the beginning of your tight 5? you workshopping material for your turn at open mic night?

"riddle me this" riddle it yourself loser, go do a sudoku and calm down u-u

[not-souleaterpost]

Ever wished that a trailer DOES lie?

Didn't come up with some clever pun or whatever to express what I want so I'll put it bluntly: Does anyone agree that new Napoleon movie looks kinda lame from the trailers?

Like the first one was like the two types of cliche trailers one after the other - with all the "boom" sounds and mach cuts, while then doing the whole "eq-so-it-sounds-distant childlike song" thing. But what I found worse is turning Napoleon into Thanos (havent seen a Marvel movie after Iron Man 3, so I might be wrong) - but all the stoic cool guy one liners and weird self-agrandising cliche uterances - only to end with putting on the Crown on himself as if it was that stupid plastic gem-gauntlet... Should just have snapped and said "France Won" and go all the way while showing the Austo-Hungary disolve.

The second trailer seems to be more of the same, with even having the Black Sabbat song to make it artsy but not to artsy. Idk maybe I'm being to harsh and hypocritical, but aften then having the love interst say "look down at my crotch - I control you with it" - I just cant take it seriously - gives me flashbacks to being a kid and seeing my dad watch game of thrones and realises that half the charachters are screwing their sister and brothers cause thats the only way to make something "Mature"...

But why am I writting a whinning post? Don't I try to make some contrived point in these? Yeah, at first I didint even want to post this, so I dont be one of these cynical movie guys, feel bad for these who now seemingly in nearly their fifties just whine about how bad hollywood is and how superheros suck while only reviewing them while their is a great new Scorsesse movie which they ignore- And instead of continuing this passive agressive attack on RLM, I better segway into my whole point: "The Killers of the Flower Moon" - A movie I recently saw and enjoyed quite a lot - surprisingly because I thought from the trailers "Yeah, Scorsee got old and is phoning it in" - cause from the trailers it just seemed like a generic by the numbers exploitation film, where victims kill their oppressors with the whole "happy ending" being both overly sweet and bitter - because how unrealistic yet saddistic it would be, even as a fantasy only leaving the reality of resentment and bloody revenge.

But thankfully, it was nothing like that - so the trailer lied, and I was happy - or more happy that even when it lied I thought "well going to the cinema with friends is more important, and why not see a scorsse movie on the big screen, if he dies, or I, soon, I'll regret it, even if it was a piece of shit..."

So maybe that's the point I'm making - maybe a very weird and pointless one - but yeah, maybe Napoleon won't be as bad as I think? Even if it is a far-cry from the Napoleon Kubric would have made, Ridley Scott is still a director with a certain esteem, and who the hell didn't like Gladiator? Even still have an old VHS with a cutot of a tv-magazine of it that my father used to tape over to just pirate the movie old schoo way lol. Still, I'm not saying to mindlessly buy and watch everything - but to just think - maybe even a disapointing movie is worth the human connection one will make (cause who goes to the movies alone?) - so if somebody says "hey lets watch it, its like if the Joker was French" - why not, maybe even it will turn out to be:

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP I have been thoroughly wrecked by Yoongi. HIS VOICE? HIS CHARISMA??

My god. He's been your bias since debut?! You're strong woman. How did you do it?? One concert and I'm ready to bear kids for him. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

/gen

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Ask 2: I'm sorry!!! But look at this!!!! twitter com/sujimschim/status/1652517741226790913 looolll I think army's gonna be okay (pun intended lol) Sorry I think I'm having a post wlive high right now. lol Also did you hear about that insanely lucky army who got Yoongi video on their phone AND got to sit next to Jimin during the concert?! Like WOW. I'm amazed. Isn't that harder than the lottery?? lol Ok I'll really stop. Have a good night!!

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Ask 3: A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE STD

*

Ask 4: Yoongi looks SO GOOD IN WHITE T WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAYYYYYYSSSSSS?!@#@!K?!@! THANK YOU JIMIN FOR SCOLDING YOOOONNNNGGGGIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

*

Ask 5: I love how Yoongi sticks to his first iteration of Sorry for being cute choreo. That choreo is becoming a lore of its own. yoominforlife lol Also OMGGGG his concert haegeum performance is gonna be LIT. I personally really love the name of the song and all the word play that's hidden inside it

*

Ask 6: i want to fuck yoongi till the paint peels off the walls i need to suck his thick fat cock clean empty, gobble his midas balls till i gag and after that read him my deontological critique of neitzche's assertion that god is dead. because god is well and truly alive and i just sucked his balls dry. i was lost and stupid in the wilderness of my ignorance of his divine hotness. i doubted your mind for your esteemed love for him. i was foolish but he has made me a believer. i want to be shoooshed by yoongi. then fuck him till he blacks out. consensually.

sorry. pls don't hate me bpp yoongi just drives me so fucking insane.

*

Ask 7: D-Day tour setlist is INSANE. Banger after friggin baanger Bpp! Have you tried to rank Suga's songs before? All his solo songs too can you rank them Bpp?

***

Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 2, your link. And yeah, that person was super lucky. 💜

I need to confess to y’all. I caved and got myself an earlier ticket. Usually, I buy my tickets for later in the tour to give myself time to calm down and adjust. I’d have spoiled the setlist for myself, listened to it ad infinitum till the lyrics were ingrained and my hormones were in equilibrium. But this time I couldn’t wait till the Cali dates, (still going). I had to see Yoongi tonight.

And Christ, I have ascended.

I know I will not be coherent, I’m already trying to self censor as I write , but I want to get this out here because many of you have sent me asks about him, some I know I can’t post ever, so I’m hoping someone else gets it whatever it is I’m tying to say.

…

Yoongi is so beautiful.

Yoongi is a rock star, and I mean that in a literal sense. He makes rock music, thinks like a rock star, and sings like a rock star. His live renditions of Amygdala are the perfect example of this. Pairing screamo rock in the chorus with the guitar solos in the outro, everything about Yoongi's vision for that song is centered around liberation, a value that's inherent to a rock star.

*

(Yes. That’s the objective correct answer.)

I laughed reading all your asks btw. (Anon in ask 6, I see you, I get you, and I don't judge you.) Ranking Agust D's songs is impossible for me. My personal taste is screamo rock and dirty trap or drill, I like songs with distinct percussion, lots of guitars, and/or distortion, voice cracks, autotune, etc. Artists like Nirvana, ONE OK ROCK, Kendrick Lamar, Twenty One Pilots, and Jimin give me bits and pieces of that sound, but no one in BTS knows how to scratch that itch for me better than Yoongi.

He’s just the right kind of insane to speak my language.

The duality that shimmers around Jimin like a mirage and is central to his magnetism, where you can’t be sure of who, what, exactly you’re looking at - man, woman, child, king, snake, panther, cat, metal, silk, fire, ice - all in one. That duality, lives in Yoongi’s music.

It’s elsewhere too, but it lives in his music. Even underneath all of that, he just makes some of the best music around.

That beat change at the end of Shadow? That's music tailor-made for me. Cypher Pt 3, AGUST D (the song), What Do You Think?, Trivia: Seesaw, the live performances of HUH?! and Amygdala are a revelation. All his music sounds perfectly made for me.

I honestly have no choice but to love him.

(I have no words when it comes to Yoongi.)

I won’t exactly rank his music here. I’ll discuss some of my favourites based on things like production, message, flow, feel, etc. Maybe.

Production

724148

This song is criminally underrated. I mean it's a crime more people aren't screaming from the rooftops about how crisp this track is. Listening to 724148 was the first time it really hit me how brilliant Yoongi is as a producer.

So Far Away ft Suran

You need to listen to this song on good speakers. It will change your life for the better. Do that, then come back here and tell me how you feel.

Burn It ft MAX

You know, when I heard the live performance of this song, I called a friend to help me re-calibrate my speakers. To recreate that feel. The production on the song is insane. Not to mention Yoongi's flow in the second verse.

Amygdala

The guitars are placed and layered perfectly. I love how forward the drums are in the mix. The autotune is one of my favourite things about it too. The entire song is perfect.

Daechwita

Am I the only person who hears the same static in the song intro that continues faintly in the foreground for the entirety of the song? As though you're entering a glitch. It's so sick. The main/central beat doesn't vary much, all the texture comes from Yoongi's adlibs. And he does an excellent job elevating it to something more.

*

(It truly embarrasses me that I cannot allow myself to talk about him. He’s that… much.)

Flow / Delivery

You've all seen me go on and on about Jimin's vocals. About how much Jimin's voice is the catalyst for ecstasy when I listen to BTS's music. But Yoongi's voice affects me just as strongly, if not more, in a very different way.

I’m a sucker for the kitten. That insane high pitched thing he does drives me to the limits of my sanity. But he’s also a natural baritone. A nasty one at that. You can hear it in the music he makes. And that’s my kryptonite.

Have you listened to HUH?! Like, really listened to it? Do you hear his flow from 1:08 - 1:15?

Do you hear how disgusting this brat is?

Fuck.

Let’s just move on.

Some favourites where his flow, delivery, switch-ups, is frankly ridiculous:

Shadow

Burn It ft. MAX

AGUST D

HUH?! ft j-hope

Cypher Pt. 3

Aside, the instrumental of this track, along with Cypher Pt. 4, Dionysus trap remix, Danger MMA 2019 version, and We Are Bulletproof Eternal, is incredible.

*

Feel

Honsool

Making a list based on pure vibes, Honsool has to show up. Yoongi captured the unmoored, untethered feeling of drifting through haze, distilled and crystalized into Honsool. Genius.

Give It To Me

What Do You Think?

HUH ft j-hope

Tony Montana ft. Jimin

I'm a sucker for the grit in their voices in this song. The live version specifically.

(He’s such a problem for me y’all…)

*

Not to get into this, but he also does sweet, poppy songs too. Some faves being That That, Amygdala, People, Trivia: Seesaw…

He is a true artist.

And nothing is hotter than that.

*

Message

I started writing this long paragraph about the themes in his music and stopped because I’ve really gone on long enough. I’m barely keeping it together here. I just saw him lose his mind with happiness at the ARMY who disguised her iPhone as a Samsung. That wide smile on his face is still replaying in my head. I’m happy he’s happy, because he’s made me so happy.

Anyway, some fave tracks I reach for, for their message:

5 - Strange ft RM

4 - UGH

3 - Snooze ft Ryuichi Sakamoto & Woosung

2 - Amygdala

1 - People

In a class of its own, I have to mention The Last. That song is a reckoning and wake up call. It's everything and I'm forever proud of Yoongi for making it.

*

Have y’all imagined what the concert will be like in 2026? Have you really sat down to think about what it could look like? Because I have. And it looks like pure bliss. No matter what is happening in the world at that time, I must see BTS.

It’s a decision I made last June, but Yoongi on this tour has breathed fire into that desire. He’s made me want him, crave his sound, daydream of his music playing in my head…

If I could I would’ve sued this man already.

Anyway, Anon in ask 1, welcome to getting wrecked by Yoongi. He is layer upon delightful layer of loyal, creative, tortured beautiful genius hovering just on the edge of insanity. I’m hopeful that he completes his tour as planned, enlists as planned, serves as planned, and is discharged and back to BTS as planned.

In the meantime, I’ll fully enjoy the time he’s spending with us and the music he’s making for us. I’m happy y’all are joining me in this too. 💜

[dandylovesturtles]

Okay how abooouut... "18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?" aaaand "55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?" and for fun: "74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?"

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Usually after, or at least during. I hate coming up with titles and unless inspiration strikes me while I'm writing I will literally title the fic whatever I think of first. This is basically what happened with Corrupted Upgrade, Lab Accident, and Tapping Out.

IMBI is the longest I ever actually thought about a title because I literally turned over a bunch of different ones, including song lyrics or angsty titles referencing disappearance, before I was finally like "well Leo would make some kind of stupid joke about the situation, what's a pun I can make" and once I was going down that train of thought I came up with the title lol. But that happened after I had already written chapter 1 and was staring down the barrel of the empty fic title box on AO3

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

YOU KNOW as long as we're going with "favorite" and not "easiest", I think my favorite to write for is really Splinter. Maybe because I just jive with the dad-ness of it all. I want to parent these children so let me live vicariously through Splinter LMAO. He's also just a really fun character and there's a lot you can do with him.

I also really enjoy writing Draxum, basically for the same reasons. Plus he's just hilarious.

my old (wo)man vibes are too strong ig

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

uses the word "just" too much /joke except not really LOL

Someone told me once my writing reads more like a movie script than a story and so if they are right then maybe it's that, I am giving you all the stage direction constantly.

[charcadett]

Soooo. This is incredibly niche. But I’m back on my Transformers bullshit so why not…. Mash my two hyperfixations together like a caveman trying to start a fire.

Pokemon Scavio Characters Transformers Alt Modes

Nemona - A motorcycle fits her well I think. She’d have a side car for her friends because they mean a lot to her. Only Penny is small enough to fit.

Penny - If we are going only Cybertronian animals. Turbofox because they look the closest to an Eevee. But honestly, I think she should just straight up have an Eevee alt mode.

Arven - Just. An oven. A big, giant oven. Bake a cake in him. I dare you.

Hassel - A dragon. One, I think it’d be funny as hell. Two, Predaking from Prime is hot and so is Hassel. And also: It’d still fit well with his from an ancient dragon trainer family who ran away to do music backstory. Except he’s the dragon.

Brassius - Something small and not built for fighting I think… Maybe a flashdrive?? To store images of his art and art history. I think it’d fit with how he was sickly and sort of weak when he first met Hassel.

Katy - A little volkswagen beetle. I was gonna just do an insect alt mode. Like. A katydid. But I think the pun with a little bug car is infinitely funnier.

Kofu - A boat. That’s really it, bro is a boat.

Grusha - A snowmobile, one of those really fast ones but an accident has rendered his tcog beyond repair and he can no longer transform.

Ryme - A speaker, kind of self explanatory considering her music career.

Iono - A camcorder! She makes guests on her stream hold her whenever anything good is happening. Also won’t stop recording people in real time.

Tulip & Miriam - They’re both jets. It’s said in game by one of the NPCs that Miriam used to be a model before she became the Academy’s nurse and I like to imagine her and Tulip as former coworker/friends. So they’re both jets and former seekers LOL.

Larry - I have no proof that transformers can have office supplies as an alt mode but this man screams stapler.

Rika - A dirt bike! I was gonna go motorcycle because sleek and she would love to do tricks, but a dirt bike would be good for her Ground-typing speciality. She’s always covered in mud.

Poppy - A little armored car! It goes with her Steel-typing speciality.

Geeta - The champion gets to be a triple changer. Jet and car combo. She has to go fast to get to all the places she’s needed at.

Clavell & Jacq - Both are microscopes, Clavell’s is a stronger one though I think.

Salvatore - A sports car, sleek and cool for a sleek and cool guy. He’s not big for joy rides though.

Tyme - An SUV. Very strong, sturdy, and reliable!

Saguaro - A tank! I think it fits well with his students thinking he’s a big tough guy, when he’s really a total sweetheart.

Raifort - A drone perhaps… Maybe I just have Earthspark on the brain but it’s small and it’d make it easy for her to access hard to get to historical spots. Also Raifort seems like someone who eavesdrops LOL.

Turo - Something stupid and machine-y. Like a centrifuge.

Sada - Straight up a dinosaur… Thinking. Pterosaur?? Because Roaring Moon kind of looks like one. I know those aren’t dinos technically but whatevs.

Ortega - A car, but a pink one so he’s REALLY conspicuous. He’s the mechanic who built the star mobiles so I think it works.

Eri - A tank! Big and strong, though she prefers hand to hand combat and training rather than relying on her alt mode.

Mela - A flamethrower. Someone has to hold her, usually Eri.

Giacomo - A soundboard. His favorite sounds are “Bruh” and a fart noise. Another team star member who needs to be held.

Atticus - An arachnid, specifically a black widow. Not only does it help him make Team Star costumes with webbing, but also ties in with his Poison-type focus.

[cptsadist]

For the 100 OC Dev questionnaire thingy!

I'm kinda obsessed with your OCs and want to know EVERYTHING about them lol I know that's unrealistic so I tried narrowing down the asks. Feel free to pick and choose whichever ones you feel like answering!

Jet: 29, 80, and 88!

Egon: 4, 21, 76

Trance: 33, 52, 96

Oh my gosh thank you so much, you're gonna make me cry!! I'm so happy you're invested!! I totally love talking about my boys so you are totally fine, ask away!

Jet

29. What sort of humor does he have?

Jet is the type to find pretty much anything funny. The smallest thing can make him giggle, and stupid puns make him absolutely wheeze. It's really not hard to make him laugh!

80. How easy is it for others to read his emotions?

Jet is a very emotional person, and doesn't really try to hide how he feels, so it's usually quite obvious to see how he's feeling.

88. Is he quiet or loud?

Jet is very loud. He has ADHD so he also can jump all over the place and it can be kinda hard to have a conversation with him. When he gets really excited, he tends to get really loud because he has a hard time controlling his volume.

Egon

4. Does he prefer to be alone or with others?

Egon is absolutely a loner. He hates most people and finds himself easily distracted when around others. He prefers to work on video editing of his films and surfing the (dark) web in the solitude of his room, though he may make an exception and enjoy the company of one other person, as long as they're not too distracting or loud. More than one person and it's a bit much for him, it just instantly irks him.

21. How does he display affection?

This is a man who doesn't show affection at all really, but if you really work for it, you might see some. He'll want to film you a lot (outside of torture and whatnot) such as when you're sleeping or just watching TV. He would make a collection of videos burned onto a CD just for you. He may gaze at you quietly for long periods of time, just observing you, and his rough edges seem to soften a bit. He won't want you to leave his room if he can help it because he doesn't want to risk losing you. He would want to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around you, you just better not wiggle too much or you'll piss him off.

76. How does he express anger?

Egon is the definition of anger issues. He may fall completely silent at first and try to separate himself from the situation, but if further provoked, you get to see his real anger. Egon instantly becomes violent and will be a bit relentless as he won't hold back. And he's a very strong and tall man. You'll hear him curse in his native Russian tongue as he absolutely loses control. There's a reason he got kicked out of so many schools when he was a kid.

Trance

33. Does he keep his promises?

Trance doesn't like making promises because he doesn't like feeling obligated to something. He knows how much a broken promise can hurt, so he avoids it if he can. But if he does make a promise, he does whatever he can to keep that promise.

52. What is his worst flaw?

Unfortunately, he has a lot of flaws. A very big one is that he has little regard for himself. He fills his body with alcohol and drugs and doesn't take care of himself at all, and he tries to keep himself distracted from his negative thoughts with these substances and with countless one night stands. He doesn't really care if anything happens to him; he has been through hell (not literally) and feels like he's seen the worst of people and he could handle whatever the world throws at him.

96. How does he carry himself, what sort of energy does he give off?

That's tricky. To the public (ie during performances, interviews, etc), he comes off as confident and radiant and extroverted and flirtatious. But the real Trance is very negative and has a great disdain for humanity and life itself, and he's very closed off and reclusive.

Hope you enjoyed these!! I love talking about them, sorry if I rambled!! I'm always open for asks though!! 😊

[thekidsarentalright]

asfdsfskj hello bff it’s been a minute how r u!! i hope you’re having a good day and i just wanted to say that we Would care if u did song analysis posts again! they’re so interesting and i personally love seeing your thoughts on stuff <3 (i’d specifically love to see your thoughts on from now on we are enemies 👉👈 but like… u could analyze whatever and i’d read it lol)

also can we talk abt those extended cuts? specifically PATRICK’S ACTING IN THOSE EXTENDED CUTS?! idk where the hell he pulled that voice from or how he came up with that character but it’s SO fucking funny… when he makes the benedict cumberbatch pun he looks like he’s trying not to laugh 😭 i’m so endeared it’s all so stupid god bless <3 also the way he says “look man, i know you got your balls all out” reminds me of his acting in moustachette for some reason… he’s so good at the dramatic angry delivery of the most ridiculous lines, someone give this man an oscar <3 truly have no idea how the rest of fob kept a straight face during that bc i could never lmaoooo

alsoooo i’ve been obsessed with what a time to be alive recently… is it just me or does that give u similar vibes to this is why? like the first couple songs on the album but specifically the title track, the news, and c’est comme ça… idk that’s where my brain has been at lately! just dancing to songs abt the world being on fire and then being like “oh shit… is there a theme in here somewhere?” 😅

- 🧋 anon

omgg hi bff!!! so sorry it took me a few days to answer this ive been Sooo distracted nfkrnf but have also been doing good!! i hope u've been doing good also <333 always nice to hear from u! 🥺 so glad to hear you feel that way abt my analyses (analysis'? analysises? whatever fjdnf), i clearly worry ppl dont rly care for them so i am. So glad people do. i am absolutely planning on posting them again, so dont fear!!! from now on we are enemies might not be first but it Def will be soon <33

also FR patricks acting in those was so good and so funny for no reason 😭 like he has no right to be so good at acting all dramatic and angry and stupid and absolutely hilarious!!!! i wonder if his lines were mostly adlibbed or not bc. if he made that shit up that makes it even funnier and more impressive and like. if i were on set watching that i would've died from how funny it is fjrnfkfn the rest of the guys are stronger for not dying from it fr

SOOO REAL OF U!!!! god what a time to be alive is soooo good im obsessed w it too and like i can absolutely see it having a similar vibe to the first few songs on this is why!!! i think it's not only the world is ending and awful themes but also how upbeat those songs, in general, sound while having such a dark topic? like how sarcastic and tongue in cheek it all is too makes them have similar vibes for Sureee and i love that both fob and paramore are riding that "the world is horrible and i'm watching it end so. fuck it lets at least dance while we watch!" attitude fjnfkfnd

[reinabeestudio]

Gonna add some of my basic hcs for my top 3 mercs (engineer + soldier + scout). Not claiming these are super original, but I wanna show what I'm working with on my selfship stuff 👍

Extra notes: 1) I haven't read the comics but I have some vague knowledge about them. I'm not gonna follow them much tho. 2) game and comic take place in different times (game: 1968 / comics 1972). I'm sticking to 1972. 3) I don't really treat RED and BLU mercs as different people, so these apply to both sides

Engineer

Dell Conagher, in his 40s and 5'7"

Very nice, very polite. But don't be fooled by the southern charm, this man is more stubborn than a mule

One of the best cooks at base, only beaten by Heavy and Demo (he won't admit this)

Yes he's short. Ye's he's aware. Yes he has a complex. No he won't admit this either

Don't be fooled, this man has very good aim. Sentries are just a very effective way of keeping motherfuckers away

I like to think he can sing, might sing a ditty when he's playing guitar/banjo by himself. He's 100% fine with playing in front of others but he's actually shy about the singing!

Sore loser and sore winner, one of the few times where he's rather annoying no matter the outcome lol

He... fucking sucks at making jokes. Or puns. He's a lost cause

Hard-worker to the bone, not even 11 PhDs can hide the underlying insecurity of needing to prove the worth behind the Conagher family name

Related the last: he's very reticent to ask or accept help even when he really needs it. He's the fix-it guy, he solves problems

Because of that, he's not used to compliments. He'll brush them off ('Ah, weren't no thing'). But if you keep insisting, you'll see the rare sight of embarassed Engie

Don't ever try to sneak up on him, his first reaction will be to punch you or hit you with whatever he's holding (and you don't wanna be hit with a wrench on the face do you). Spies messing with his machines has made him rather paranoid in that sense

Speaking of Spy, these two absolutely don't get along at all. All southern charm is gone when he interacts with him

Soldier

Jane Doe, 49 years old and 6'

Official bio says he's from the midwest, so (after consulting my American Friends(tm)) I ma Soldier is from somewhere rural Nebraska with a vet father, where his big patriotism comes from

If you don't think he won't argue with scout or engie that nebraska is in fact midwest, you don't know soldier. He WILL literally brawl for this

Jane Doe isn't his actual name. It's an undercover alias.

Belligerent and idiotic, yet not as stupid as people tend to assume. He's smart, just in different ways

Destructive, but surprisingly friendly if he assumes you're on his side

He often carries a rocket launcher and shoots that thing near his face, so his hearing isn't as good as it used to

That helmet he always wears? Same one he's been wearing he 'became' a soldier

You'd be surprised what a good memory he has!

Insanely good poker face, don't play cards with him

Too thickheaded to be scared. Sees a ghost and he'll just be like 🗿

Not really a hc but reminder than besides a 'soldier', this man is also: a mercenary (duh), a lawyer, a park ranger, a tour guide and a priest (in Guam)

You'll never catch this man drinking tap water. What about the FLUORIDE!!!!

Don't trust this man with a stove EVER

Rarely you'll see him doing nothing. Tends to keep himself busy, as good soldiers do (his logic says so, at least)

Despite his mentioned patriotism he's shit at geography, including his own country. He knows states EXIST but he doesn't exactly know WHERE or HOW MANY (last time he checked there were 48)

Scout

Jeremy Mortenson, 27 years old and 5'11"

Youngest of 7 brothers, all of them have names that start with J—even his mother's name starts with a J! (June Mortenson)

Youngest at home and now youngest at the base. He gotta prove he's tough and to not be messed with—he's teased enough at home! He's a merc dammit

That said, being surrounded by lotta guys that are older than him that don't really pay attention to him most of the time... aah, just like home

He genuinely loves his family and his teammates, and admittedly he misses his famiy in Boston. But HEY don't tell anyone

All talk no walk, he's gotten himself in problems more than once because of his dumbass claims

Being half-french (he doesn't know sshh), he's more similar to Spy than both care to admit. Scout just doesn't have the charming, lady-killer façade Spy has

He does know a few French words tho, but not many. And his accent bleeds so much into them, it's hard to make out what he's saying (even for Spy, who just looks at him like 🗿)

Not a big fan of tiny spaces. This dislike came with his job, a tiny space makes escaping harder

Besides Tom Jones, reckon another big love of his is baseball. I like to think in different circumstances he'd have tried to become a pro. But when there are so many mouths to feed, you take what you can to help your single mom

Fast learner when it comes to arts. Drawing, playing an instrument, etc—he picks it up fast. Did you know he can sing? Oddly enough he doesn't gloat about it (Only his ma knows this fact)

Like Soldier, he's smart but in a different way. He might have difficulty reading, but guy is a speed demon when it comes to killing. He gets the job done, and FAST

If I see someone else calling him a twink, I'll start exploding people. Yeah he's not exactly muscular and rather scrawny compared to the other mercs. But he ain't weak! The thing about Scout is that he isn't built for strength, he's built for speed.

I'm late, but using my (recent) birthday as an excuse to ramble about Cee and the other mercs—mostly Cee, with hints of ship stuff :]

This is kinda long btw

The arrival of Ms. Doremi was not something unexpected, since the team had been notified a few days prior of a new hire from Spain. However, she wasn't what they imagined.

The answer depends on who you ask, but all of them more or less were expecting a tough mercenary, someone that has clearly fought and killed before. Someone that gets the job done no matter what. But before them was the damndest fanciest lady they've ever seen. Scout was the one tasked to showing her around due to being the fastest, and it was clear some doubts about this new teammate quickly started to appear after each one met her personally.

Not only that, but there was something particular about Ms. Doremi: she had a room for herself like the others, but she didn't always sleep on it. In fact, many nights she'd leave the base and come back in the morning. Spy even identified her car as an ivory Seat 600 D. Not exactly a model seen in the US.

Now, as I mentioned in past posts, I ship her with almost all of them (except Pyro)—not at the same time. So how things develop depends on the merc! Although the ones I think about the most are Engineer, Soldier, and Scout.

I'll focus only on Engineer/Cee for now. Maybe I'll explore different reactions in the future (please ask me about any of the other ships gimme an excuse to gush please please please pl--).

Surprise, he fell in love at first sight 💥

I imagine they found him on his workshop, arguing with one of the others for touching his tools or something else (probably Spy? I like to think they don't get along at all lol). So there he was, cursing up a Texan Storm(tm) until he hears stifled laughter behind him and he turns around like ???. And when he sees her, he completely freezes.

“Apologies, I didn't mean to laugh. You just have such a way with words, I coulnd't help”

And aren't you a vision of loveliness.

She would offer her hand for a handshake, while introducing herself. How proper, ain't she cute. “I'm Cee Doremi. I'm the new RED member. And what might your name be?”

“I'm mighty sorry 'bout earlier, promise I'm nicer than that!” He took her hand then, a bit too tightly. “Dell Conagher, or the Engineer. At your service.”

“It's alright, Mr. Conagher. As my mother used to say, when we argue it's because we care. Don't you think?”

“Please, call me Dell. And I can't say I fully agree with ya, Ms. Doremi, but I can see yer point!"

“Call me Cee." God, that smile of hers could resurrect an angel. The guy is practically leaking toony hearts while Spy and Scout look at them like 👁 (nosy father & nosy son lol). “It was nice meeting you. But I still have to finish my little tour, and I'd kindly like to have my hand back, yes?”

Engie's face scrunched up in confusion before he looked down at his hand and noticing that he's, in fact, still shaking her hand.

So she waved him bye and he waved back with a face warmer than an oven. Meanwhile Spy just looked at him with the most insufferable knowing smile ever.

“What a gracefully embarassing display of those 11 PhDs, pardner.”

“Shut it, you snake.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ⟐ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Time passes, and Cee's presence is just one more on base. She even got her own nickname: the Lady (very original). It started as a joke, but it ended up just becoming a thing lol.

She gets along with her teammates! Some more than others, but she has a minimum level of property that she doesn't seem to like breaking, no matter how rude some people might be. Old habits, she calls it (makes you curious how she was raised).

And everyday as usual, when night comes, she drives off... somewhere. And everyday she comes back in the morning. She's been asked about this by the others many times; she has her own room here, what's the need of leaving every night? Where does she even go? But as polite as she is, that's a question she doesn't answer.

Until one day the answer comes to them.

Cee called for a meeting, which was odd. She was the only one standing up, the rest of the mercs sitting down and no doubt confused what was going on.

“As all of you know, I spend most of my nights outside of the base. First I want to clarify, I have no problem with my room. I'm thankful I was given my own space.” she started, her hands clasped in front of her. “But I did for a good reason. Something very important.”

She explains how she was told by the higher-ups it'd be best if she stopped the car trips, mostly because the enemy could follow her and learn the location of the base. How she explained her situation, and a solution would be searched.

But until then, she'd have to compromise.

“I'm only doing this because I have no other choice. Apologies in advance,” she finished explaining.

They see Cee turn around to the doorframe behind her and says something in Spanish (“Ya podéis salir”). And the 9 mercs watch with wide eyes how a young girl and a young boy come out and quickly go to Cee, the kids looking at the men while hiding behind her. They looked similar to Cee.

“Gentlemen, these are my twins: Lance and Renée.”

She looked down at them, gently patting their heads. “They will be staying on my bedroom, until a safer place for them is found. I've already told them to behave and not bother any of you unless it's a dire situation and I'm not around. Please, be patient with them while they are here.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ⟐ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Yes I know, I didn't really talk about actual ships AJSDNGDS. But I thought that it'd be best to first establish some facts about Cee for better understanding ☝ If you wanna learn more, ask about it (/j /lh)

[beeindaclouds]

Hiii

Dsmp cheering u up? I need some support lately :(

Because you're my mutual, and I want you to cheer up, I'll post this in advance 💕

DSMP cheering you up

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, Philza, Technoblade, Nihachu, Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude, Slimecicle

Click here before requesting, please <3

I feel like you could never be sad around them

Like the second they see a frown or hear your low and tired voice they're all like "CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE: THEY'RE SAD"

Crew Boys would just invite you to one of their streams or to film a video, and just by being there and seeing all the dumb stuff they do you already lose one of your lungs.

Bad and Skeppy would do the same, but the entire time is just Skeppy planning how to troll Bad and Bad getting mad at whatever Skeppy's doing. From time to time Skeppy will throw a few cuss words here and there, and you sometimes do the same, and the stream becomes a "How many times will Badboyhalo say "language" "

The 3/4 of SBI all have they're own way of cheering you up.

Wilbur will try to distract you by making you go out to film vlogs for Tommy, and Crime boys never fails to make you laugh

Phil is amazing with words, he'll coffort you a little, try to make you laugh, and then invite the rest of SBI to make chaos

Techo isn't good with this kind of stuff so he asks you if you want to be on a call and just play Minecraft. You two end up doing a bunch of stupid stuff on a random server you created and Techno's little interventions make you feel better (bonus if he invites Skeppy and then CHAOS)

Nihachu will physically come to your house and drag you outside to have a day of fun. Y'all go shopping, to random cafe's, at a random arcade you happened to pass by; she just wants you to be as distracted as possible

Eret would kind of do the same as Niki, but instead of going out y'all stay in and try to find different ways to entertain yourselves. I imagine you guys making a pillow fort and role playing random stuff lol

With Punz it can go 2 ways:

Either he joins Foolish (also Sapnap if you want) and invites you to play Valorant with them, or just watch, and of course there's always chaos there

Or he'll join Awesamdude in a random call you three have where y'all just converse about random stuff. Most of the call is just you and Sam trying to make Punz blush by flirting with him

With Slimecicle you can never be sad. Mans made of 70% puns and will use them whenever and in every context that he can. Will also drown you in his many slime plushes if you'd like to

[smells-like-mettaton]

For the prompt game 96 or 89 with sans and undyne as a dynamic?

also i didn't know you had an ao3!! will be following 😌👉👉

It has been 5ever but here we go! Apologies if you are no longer into undertale lol. Also this is inspired by @carlyraejepsans 's rhythm gamer sans posts/headcanons!

Pro Gamer Move

Rating: G Word Count: 1154 Prompt: Sans & Undyne, another person touching your skin with cold hands Read on AO3: here

XXX

“C-c’mon, Undyne, you’ve got this!” Alphys encouraged. 

Undyne barely heard her girlfriend over the blaring notes of Iron Maiden’s Run to the Hills. She grit her teeth, claws flying over the buttons of the plastic guitar. The video game was way easier than playing piano. It was practically kids’ stuff!

“Hey, keep your sweat to yourself, Undies,” Sans said from his spot on the couch behind her. She could hear the grin in his voice, though she couldn’t risk looking away from the TV screen. “Not all of us are fins of salt water.”

Somehow, even though no one was on drums, she heard a ba-dum-tiss.

“SANS!” Papyrus groaned. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your score instead of your insufferable puns??”

“Nah, I could do this with my eyes closed.” Sans gave an audible wink. “Don’t sweat it.”

“Shut up,” she hissed through her teeth. She could’ve pointed out that he was dripping sweat on her too, but didn’t have any time to spare on more insults.

She did need to focus. Sans’s flawless guitar-playing was quickly tugging the high score away from her. Alphys and Papyrus had warned her that he was a dedicated rhythm gamer, but that should be nothing compared to Undyne’s professional music talent! She’d been trained by Asgore himself! 

This wasn’t the first time she’d played Wii Rock Band, either—though before now she’d only played with Papyrus, Frisk, and on occasion, Mettaton. Papyrus loved banging it out on the drums, and naturally his robot boyfriend had to hog the mic. Frisk was content to play whatever instrument wasn’t being claimed—usually the bass.

But Sans played guitar. Her Rock Band instrument. And he had the guts to challenge her to Tug-of-War mode over it. 

Guts. Ha. She would’ve made a jab at him about that, but she was in the middle of shredding through a solo. If she could just nail this, then—

Something cold touched the back of her neck. 

She didn’t scream. She was just—shouting along with the music, that was all. It kept her pumped!

Not pumped enough to avoid missing a whole flurry of notes, though.

“What the hell!” She whirled on Sans, who had his legs kicked up on the coffee table. Despite his relaxed posture, his bony fingers flew across the keys with precision.

She was sure those fingers had just been on the back of her neck.

“Blocking the screen now? Man, I thought you played fairer than that.” Sans grinned. 

When she looked over her shoulder, his score hadn’t wavered. Did he have the note patterns memorized? How many times had he played this song??

That was probably it. He just had nothing better to do than play stupid games all day. Besides, he wouldn’t have gotten the best of her if he hadn’t played dirty.

“Sans, that wasn’t sportsmanlike at all,” Papyrus said, his voice laced with disappointment.

“Good thing Rock Band’s not a sport, huh?”

Undyne sighed through her teeth, but turned back to the screen.

“Forget it, Papyrus. He just knows I’d kick his bony butt into next week if he didn’t take a cheap shot.”

“Cheap shots are the best kind. No point buying ‘em if they aren’t on sale,” Sans replied. He didn’t even have the decency to sound ashamed.

Ugh. She’d rather be playing Rock Band with Mettaton’s grating vibrato than this. Still, she locked her attention back on the game and strummed for all she was worth. 

She might not be able to pull ahead now, but like hell was she going to give up.

XXX

“Why did you do that?” Papyrus asked Sans once Undyne and Alphys were out of earshot, grabbing snacks from Papyrus’s kitchen before the next round of games or movies.

Papyrus hoped it was movies, and not more Rock Band. Undyne was always in a sour mood after losing. Not that Papyrus had seen her lose often.

“Do what?” Sans fiddled with the plastic guitar in his lap. 

The song list on the screen flashed up and down as he flicked the strum bar. The speakers blasted the first few notes of each song he hovered over, creating the world’s most unholy mashup—which was probably Sans’s intention. Papyrus wouldn’t let his brother’s antics distract him.

“You know what!” Papyrus flopped over the back of the couch. “You put your cold hand on her neck!”

“Oh. That.” He shrugged. “She was already givin’ me the cold shoulder. Just thought I’d help the rest of her along.”

Papyrus’s eyesockets narrowed. Papyrus had seen Sans play Run to the Hills plenty of times before. Undyne was fantastic at Rock Band too, but Sans still hadn’t needed to cheat to beat her. 

“What?” Sans had the nerve to ask. “Don’t believe your perfectly honest and upright bro?”

“...Would you really like me to answer that?”

Sans laughed. 

“I dunno. It could be funny.”

“Well, in that case, I do not believe you’ve ever been ‘upright’ in your life. Metaphorically or otherwise.” 

Sans was currently slumped so far down in the couch, he was practically sinking between the cushions. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Once Papyrus had found Sans napping down there while he had been trying to vacuum.

“Heh. You’ve got me.” Sans winked. “So you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told ya I thought the bone-cold trick might cheer her up.”

Papyrus’s browbones furrowed. 

“Cheer her…? I do not think you know Undyne very well at all.”

“Maybe not.” Sans shrugged, but then Papyrus’s thoughts finally caught up.

Undyne hated losing. Sans hated going easy on Rock Band. In fact, it might have been more difficult for Sans to miss notes on purpose than to sabotage Undyne’s score.

But as long as Undyne could blame it on sabotage, she wouldn’t feel like she’d really lost.

“...Oh,” Papyrus said. “Well! While still underhanded, that was… sweet? Of you to do??”

“Hey, don’t go spreadin’ slander like that. I just don’t wanna deal with an endless slew of rematches for her to reclaim her honor, or anything.” Then he muttered, “I probably woulda dusted myself if put in that much effort again…”

“What are you punks talking about?” Undyne re-entered the living room with a large bowl of charred popcorn. 

She seemed to be in a better mood now. Papyrus figured the bright blush on Alphys’s cheeks might’ve had something to do with it.

“Nothing.” Sans slapped a grin back on his face. “Just asking Papyrus if you’re any better at Smash Bros.”

Undyne practically dove over the couch to snag a Wii remote, leaving Papyrus to catch the flying bowl of popcorn. (Which he did without dropping a kernel. A far more useful skill than any video game achievement, thank you.)

“Why don’t you watch me crush you and find out?” Undyne grinned.

“H-here we go again…” Alphys sighed.

Papyrus groaned. So much for watching a movie.