#whatever it's literally fine i just need to get used to it!!

[lesbianherald]

I’m going to phrase this delicately because I’m so deeply grateful and awed by the support I’ve received.

But I will say it is a little anxiety inducing how many people feel they can talk about coming home whatever way they want openly and publicly because it has “numbers” or whatever (referring to my own work like this makes me want to claw my eyes out because they baffle me and I don’t necessarily feel I deserve them but it’s important for context).

This is Especially true for the way people speak under things I very much see. Art of the fic. My Twitter mutuals posts. Things I will very obviously interact with. It feels like someone is walking into my back yard and talking shit as if I'm literally not standing in said yard like this 🧍

You make something for a community for free as an act of passion and then the community in turn becomes something that isn’t quite accessible to you anymore. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of fic writers in my previous fandoms and idk man it’s just kind of a bummer.

Like. Fanfic and fanart is made by people in the fandom for the fandom. It’s not work being produced by some distant people in Hollywood who shouldn’t be in the fandom space in the first place.

Idk, it’s actually pretty rare that this happens to me but I wanted to mention I am a human who can very much read the things you say guys 😭 like if you reblog art related to my work and call it a bunch of petty names and say you had to dnf I can see that. It’s totally ok to feel whatever way you want. But maybe don't feel that way in my back yard.

Again. I’m so grateful for everything I really am. You absolutely do not have to fuck with my work. Fuck I don't fuck with my work sometimes DKLFJSDHF. This is probably the last time I’ll talk about this because the last thing I want to do is come off like I can’t take criticism and I’m ungrateful. But sometimes I really am chewing at my enclosure like IM RIGHT HERE MAN IM LITERALLY BEHIND YOU HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT.

[instead-of-sleeping]

The other-realm

I had to speed writing this and It isn’t proofread, so I’m sorry it isn’t that good or doesnt make much sense. I think that my favourite part of this AU is transforming the game mechanics in in-universe things, anyways enjoy :3 (This is inspired by this post by @brittle-doughie)

Something was wrong. And It is only a matter of time before it gets worse.

For the past days, every time you tried to sleep you would have the same dream: floating in a dark blue space.

The first time was dazzling, like stargazing but you were in the middle of the stars.  Then a chill down your spine.

“Every cookie keeps a sneaky little secret.”

And you were in your bed again, the clock showing it’s midnight.

You recognise the voice, how could you forget that clown after all the harm he has done, but it was just a nightmare, right? 

Your subconscious playing with your memories.

No one was coming back, No one was in danger, everything was fine and you didn’t have to go back to that damned place again.

Just a stupid nightmare.

Needless to say, falling back to sleep was much harder.

That morning between the usual kingdom matters and your friend’s’ letters, there was one different from the others. What a coincidence…

An invitation, as guest of honor, for “Shadow Milk Cookie’s great masterpiece of deceit, where the truth-”

“No.”

Why things couldn’t be just coincidence for you?

Well, actually It didn’t say it was him but like come on! There was literally his face; and it was so satisfying to see it ripped in the trash can.

But it wasn’t hearing his voice again that night and the night after.

Now eyes were watching, multiplying and giggling at your every move.

And every time you woke up the invitation would be in your bed with a small present, that would go directly to the fireplace, whatever was inside it you didn’t want to deal with it.

Of course, the clown kept tormenting with his ominous words

“Don’t lie to me, I know you still like me!”

“It’s no use to try escape… Deceit would swallow you whole”

“Deceit existed since the beginning of Earthbread, and Earth…”

“Your whole life is a lie. Welcome to my world!”

Honestly, such edginess should be studied.

Like the dark circles under your eyes.

Now you should go to do your every day activities, but your head hurt  like hell, the bed was simply too comfy to get out and the Swan knew how you needed the rest, even after it’s been months since dealing with a Beast 

Nothing could make you get up.

Except that knocking on the door.

Still in your pijama you could feel the floor was colder than usual, and wasn’t like ten in the morning why the shadows were so dark?

Opening the door revealed Pure Vanilla, judging by his face he too wasn’t doing well.

“Look, Pure Vanilla Cookie; thanks for coming all the way here but if you are trying to convince me to go to Beast-Yeast again”

“Do you know anything about the Beast-Binding ritual?”

[becauseimswagman1]

Lightskin brothaaaaa

Kelvin Harrison Jr. x reader

Warnings: humiliation kink mentioned, voyeurism kink mentioned, suggestive flirtation, hint at bisexual!Kelvin, hint at bisexual!Aaron

----Reader asks Kelvin to have a threesome... kelvin has some qualms about it---- Reader is in a girl group btw-----

--------------------

Life after hard launching your relationship with Kelvin was actually pretty fucking chill.

The two of you went almost everywhere together, unlike your typical couple with busy schedules.

You practically lived in his skin and vice versa. Since y’all have been together, going on two years (secretly at first), the fans have gotten used to him appearing on not only yours, but your group’s social media doing dance challenges. He especially made appearances on Instagram since that’s where you’re the most active. Every chance you got, you posted relatable relationship quotes that the fans immediately knew were talking about Kelvin. You also posted a shit ton of pics of him being the lightskin ass clown he is.

But that’s surface level, let’s get into the real shit.

You wanted to spice things up (as if things could get any spicer, y’all two gots DOWN) with him by having a threesome, but he was NOT having it.

“What do you mean you want me to watch while another man fucks the shit outta you?!”

“Exactly what you think it means! It’s not like you’re not into voyeurism.” You really couldn’t see the problem here.

“As true as that may be, that shit is NOT happening with Trevante of all people!”

….There’s the problem…

“Cause he’s wayyyy buffer than me and I don’t have time for my girlfriend to say mildly mean things to me while she’s about to get fucked by a big strong man.”

“But you’re into that….”

“Shut it! That was ONE time!”

You laughed, “I said you nutted like a weak ass bitch then you literally shot so hard it got on the ceiling. And you wanna try and tell me you’re not into a little humiliation.”

“Fine, fine, whatever. Look, if we’re gonna do it, then who it’s with has to be my choice.”

“...what?”

“Yeah, it has to be. I need to do research first on candidates.”

“Candidates? Is this the presidential election? Baby, what the fuck? And what type of research are we talking about?”

“Don’t worry about that. Just know I got it handled.”

“...Are you gonna survey dick sizes? Is this about him not having a bigger dick than you?”

“No! No! Of course, not- maybe- okay No! It’s not. I’m just gonna do extensive searching for the perfect man. He’s gotta be really fucking hot, but not hotter than me if he’s gonna get my permission to touch you.”

You cooed, “Awe, babe! I knew you were bisexual-”

“Baby, no!”

“... Just a little bisexual…? It’s okay to admit it. We all are.”

“I’m not unpacking that right now!”

All you could do was laugh as he stormed out of the room like a diva.

—-----------------------------------------

After that conversation, neither you nor Kelvin spoke of the topic again. You figured he was taking finding a partner seriously, but not this seriously.

In secret, he had been conducting interviews, asking basic questions. Asking for kinks (if they had any) and their most recent STD test results (and if it’s been a while, then that they get tested). Ya know, standard shit. Nothing serious.

—-----------------------------------------

—--TWO MONTHS LATER—---

Kelvin had finally found the perfect person for the threesome.

The guy is someone he trusts, not only with his well-being but with you and your pleasure in bed.

—---------------------------------

“Baby!” Kelvin steps into your dorm like he lives there. He was so ready for you to stop being so picky about choosing an apartment. You also didn’t wanna leave your girls’ unattended, lord knows they’d burn the place down without you there, but the two of you wanted your own space. Kelvin wants to be able to love on you without someone popping up and interrupting.

“Baby, where you at?” He took off his shoes and walked around your dorm. It just seemed to be just you home today.

“Bae? I’m in my room!” you almost didn’t hear him due to your music being turned up loud through your headphones.

He walked in, “I’ve found someone.”

“Found someone for what?”

He sat next to you on the bed and sprawled out, “Someone for our rendezvous.”

“OH! A rendezvous? Bae, are we going on a quest? The fuck is a rendezvous, call that shit what it is.”

“Fine. I’ve found someone for our threesome.”

You snickered, “There you go.”

“Anyways, this guy is perfect. He’s tall and checks all of our boxes.”

“Oh… ours? As in our boxes? You must be finally ready to unpack-”

“No!” he put his hand over your mouth, “I’m not. Shh! The guy is Aaron.”

Your eyes widened and you spoke behind his hand, “Aaron?”

Kelvin moved his hand, “Yeah. I had listed what you liked about me and the traits you liked, that I didn’t have and came up with an extensive list of guys. And no Trevante wasn’t on it so don’t even ask.”

You slumped down in the bed a bit.

“After talking to all of them, Aaron ended up being the best choice.”

Your brows furrowed, “Wait… does he know it’s for a threesome?”

“Nah. I lied to them all and said I was doing a survey for this underground actor freaky club.”

You held back your laughter. Only your man would do this. “So we gotta ask if he’s down?”

“Yeah, babe. Aaron’s chill though.”

You looked at him, “Riiight, asking your close friend to have a threesome with you and your girlfriend is so easy.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“You know it was.”

“It’ll be fine. We’ll talk to him over drinks tomorrow.”

“TOMORROW?!” you got up off the bed and started pacing around your room. “The fuck you mean tomorrow?”

Kelvin sat up, “Yeah. I’m ready.”

“You’re ready?!” you slowed down your pacing, “Like actually?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m more than ready, I’m excited.”

You sat down next to him, “If you’re confident then so am I. I trust you.”

He wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your forehead, “I love you.”

“I know.”

He smacked the side of your head playfully.

“Fineeeee. I love you, too, my bisex-”

He mushed your face, “Sweet moment over.” —-------------------------

Tomorrow came way too fast. Luckily it was a rare day that y’all had the day off, so you had the whole day to freak out and get advice.

You walked into your favorite member's room.

“Damn, you don’t how to knock?”

“Hush. I’m having a threesome.” you plopped face-first onto her bed.

She shut the book she was reading, “A what?! I knew you and that lightskin were freaky frogs. Who’s it with?”

Muffled, “Aaron.”

“WHO?!”

You turned over on your back, “Aaron.”

“Oh, he’s hot. Have fun for real.”

“Have fun???? I’m supposed to fuck him in front of Kelvin.”

“That little cuck bitch. Y’all are nasty!”

“I know you ain’t talking, yo ass in a scandal now for sneaking around with most of the motherfuckers in my man’s friend group. You ain’t slick.”

“You didn’t even have to go there.”

“Well, I did. Anyways, I need help.”

“For what? You’re fucking tw…” she gags, “two hot men.”

You narrowed your eyes, “I heard that. You not slick.”

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever.”

“Kelvin and I are discussing things over with Aaron tonight over drinks. I just want things to go smoothly.”

“And things will, sis. Trust in your man, yourself, and most importantly, trust in that Henny.” she chuckled.

You laughed, “Bitch, you so stupid.”

“But that Henny’ll get you right. Nice and relaxed.”

“That’s true.” You got up off her bed, “I’m gonna go start getting ready.”

“Put on something sexy! And tell that lightskin that you wanna try double penetration!”

“Absolutely not!” you walked outta her room.

—-------------------------------

Kelvin walked into the apartment you shared with your group, per usual, like he lived there.

“Kelvin, what’s up?” the youngest member greeted him.

He smiled, “Hey, is she ready?”

“Almost. You want some water while you wait?”

“Nah, nah. I’ll be alright.” he went to the living room and sat on the couch.

“Lightskin!” the second youngest yelled as she sat next to him, “Y’all, uh, tryna have a threesome with A-A-ron I heard.”

Kelvin sighed, sometimes you were the bain of his existence, “Yeah and I heard you’re still getting death threats from fucking half of my friends and getting caught doing it, right?”

She nodded, “Okay okay. Coming with the jokes. I’ll leave you alone. I can see how nervous you are.”

Finally, you walked out of your room, “Is this whore bothering you?”

Kelvin stood up at the sound of your voice and walked over to you.

“Whore?? I resent that.”

“Sure you do. It’s practically tattooed on your forehead.”

Instead of answering, she just slumped down on the couch.

“Ready, babe?” he said kissing your cheek.

“Yeah, let’s go before I get the itch to ring somebody’s neck.”

And with that, y’all were off.

—---------------------------------

“When I agreed to drinks, I didn’t think you would’ve rented out a section for us. Why so secluded for some drinks?” Aaron said.

Kelvin smirked, “Oh, you know we just wanted some privacy for what we plan to talk about.”

“Talk about what?”

“Uh…” Kelvin trailed off, “Babe?”

Oh, he expected you to say this. You guess it’s only right since you were the one who brought it up to him.

“Aaron, we wanna ask if you’d be down to have a threesome with us. Total one time thing and it’s completely fine if you say no.”

Aaron chuckles and finishes his drink, “I think I’m gonna need another drink.”

“I think we all do.” Kelvin motioned for the waiter to bring y’all the bottle.

“Actually, leave it. Thank you,” you said to the waiter.

The waiter set the bottle on the table and walked off.

Aaron poured refills for you and Kelvin first then refilled his own and took a long sip, “Is that why you were you asking me about my kinks? I knew it wasn’t for a freaky-ass actor sex club!”

Kelvin chuckles, “Yeah, man... Sorry, I lied. I just wanted the best guy for this.”

“And what does your girl think?”

You took a sip of your drink, “His girl thinks you’re very sexy and that you look like you can fuck good.”

Aaron smirked, “Looks like you’re in luck, I never leave my partners unsatisfied. You’re both attractive and I’d never miss an opportunity to have two hot people in my bed.”

You smirk, thinking of a sly game to play. You slid your left hand onto Kelvin’s lap, switching between rubbing and squeezing his growing erection, and slid your right foot up Aaron’s leg, just resting the sole of your shoe on his crotch.

“Oh…” Aaron chuckles, “Someone wants the party to start early.”

“Seems like she does. Having fun baby?” Kelvin looks at you.

You smile a little, “Yeah, but I could have more if we get outta here.”

Aaron cleared his throat and then stood up, “I’ll get the check.”

“What a gentleman.” your boyfriend said.

Aaron leaned over to the side y’all were sitting on and said to no one in particular, “I’m always a gentleman.”

“Promise?” you said.

“Like I said, always.” then he walks away, searching for the waiter to pay.

“Kelvin he’s fucking perfect.”

“Yeah. I made a good choice didn’t I?”

“If your dick is anything to go by then I’d say you did. You’re hard as fuck.”

He glances down at his growing pain and holds in a groan, “Yeah, I am. Aaron’s hot as hell.”

“Thank you.” Aaron said, “Let’s get outta here. I got more liquor at my place and ya know, my bed. ”

You and Kelvin stood up quickly, sneaking glances at each other. Y’all knew a time would be had.

—---END—-------

Taglist: @itsbackwoodsbby @femdisa @luvrsluxe @ayeeeitsmiracle @sharmelasworld @papithetia @mzv11

Lemme know if you wanna be added to the taglist!!!

[glowettee]

dealing with a bad grade (part 1/5) 🎀

posted by: glowettee

hey sweeties! ♡ mindyyy here

okay so like… we need to have a heart-to-heart about something that happens to literally everyone - getting a grade that makes your heart sink. i totally get it, i've gotten a less than decent grade before and i felt like my whole academic career, life, MINDSETT just crashed. but guess what? i turned it around, and i'm going to share exactly how i did it. this is going to be a 5-part series specifically for helping you with your grade. <333

let's start with the immediate aftermath (because i know you're probably reading this with teary eyes and a racing heart):

♡ the 24-hour rule this is literally my holy grail rule. give yourself exactly 24 hours to feel all the emotions. cry into your plushies, eat that emergency chocolate bar you've been saving, watch sad tiktoks - whatever you need. but when that 24 hours is up, we're switching into recovery mode. i literally set a timer on my phone and when it goes off, it's glow-up time.

♡ emotional first aid kit grab your cutest notebook (mine's pink with gold stars obviously) and write down everything you're feeling. i'm talking full main character energy here - all the thoughts, fears, and worries. this isn't just venting, bestie. we're documenting these feelings so we can look back and see how far we've come. plus, getting it all out on paper helps clear your mind for the strategy phase.

♡ reality check (but make it gentle) let's break down why this isn't the end of your academic journey:

grade weight check: calculate exactly how much this affects your final grade. sometimes what feels like a disaster is actually just a tiny bump in the road

context matters: was this during that week you had the flu? when your bestie needed emotional support? when your laptop died? write down any external factors (we don't need accountability at alll,) (i'm joking)

pattern or one-off?: look at your other grades. is this a surprising drop or part of a trend? this helps us know if we need a total study makeover or just some fine-tuning

♡ the strategic breakdown this is where we get seriously helpful. grab your planner so we can create your recoveryyyy blueprint:

schedule a professor/teacher meeting ASAP (i know it's scary but professors and teachers actually love when students care enough to ask for help)

review your study methods (be honest - were you just rereading notes and hoping for the best? i do this all the time on my lazy days, it doesn't help...)

analyze your test-taking strategy (did you run out of time? panic? misread questions?)

check for extra credit opportunities (sometimes they're not advertised but exist if you ask!)

look into study groups (because two brains are better than one, and four brains are literally a power squad)

♡ creating your comeback toolkit this is the part where we get super practical (please bare with me):

get a separate notebook just for this subject

color-code everything (i use pink for things i don't understand, gold for improvements, and purple for victories)

start a concept map of everything you need to review

make a list of resources (tutoring center hours, professor office hours, study group times, online study resources, books etc...)

create a daily study schedule (even if it's just 30 minutes, consistency is key)

♡ mindset reset (the most important part) here's the truth: this grade is not your destiny. it's not even your story. it's just one chapter, and you're about to write the most amazing comeback story ever. think of it like this - even the most aesthetic, successful study girls have their off days. what matters is how you bounce back. you have drive and power, and using that to comeback from something that makes you devastated shows your resilience. <33 don't give up on your dreams when something hits you, because it's like giving up on yourself.

tomorrow we're diving deep into analyzing what went wrong (in the most organized and cute way possible, obviously). because just like my favorite quote says (got it from pinterest btw): "every setback is just a setup for your greatest comeback." ✨

remember: you're still that girl. you're still capable. and you're about to show everyone (especially yourself) just how powerful you can be. please don't give up, i assure you, once you comeback and end up getting an A, after receiving that C-, you'll literally feel unstoppable!!!! <333

stay gorgeous and focused! xoxo, mindy 🎀

[sunsetsover]

Just wanted to say I loved your post about the swing scene convo - you have a wonderful way with words and such a great grasp of the characters. What you said bout Bison with Fadel vs with Kant re. the hitman life was really interesting and something I hadn't picked up on.

And I particularly liked what you wrote about Kant and Babe, because I can't believe we're 8 eps in and there are still ppl (surely wilfully at this point?!) misunderstanding him - it's like they're determined to think the worst of him, not matter what he does/says! The idea that trusting his brother enough to let him live his own life independently once he comes of age is somehow a dick move and not what Babe himself would want? That prioritising his own happiness for the first time in his life is peak jerkface behaviour? From comments I've seen you'd think Kant had basically declared Babe was now dead to him! I mean, it only took: agreeing to seduce (only to then fall in love for real with) an assassin, getting knocked out, kidnapped, confronted with your childhood trauma and threatened with death multiple times for Kant to realise that maybe, just maybe, he needs to re-evaluate some things! It's obvious this has all been a bit of a wake-up call for him.

But you laid it out so clearly, and the way you explained how this is about Kant's agency and what he's choosing to do with it now he actually has some...spot-on, as always! It's so satisfying to read when someone just Gets It. And much like you, Swing Scene will stay with me for a very long time - the way FK can deliver so many different emotions and vibes in just one scene - passion, comfort, vulnerability, longing, affection, hunger, wistfulness, relief, lust, hope, weariness...gah! And oh the intimacy. It's...nope, don't have the words. I know I'm biased, but I swear nobody does intimacy like FK. It's just such a delight/privilege to watch them in action.

oh this is so kind of you! i really appreciate you saying this, and i'm so glad i could show you something you hadn't caught/thought about before! believe it or not this is something people used to tell me fairly often, and i've always loved that i could offer a different perspective on things that most people don't see/consider <3

but thankfully i haven't seen any of the comments you've clearly seen. i've just seen a lot of people suddenly team kantbison now that they're being all sweet without secrets or whatever, which i honestly should have expected given how fickle people are in the face of a few cute moments lmfao but thank god i haven't seen a single thing about kant's comment abt babe bc honestly i doubt i would've been able to hold my tongue. but tbh atp in the story if people don't like him they just don't like him. and that's fine (allegedly) but it's just annoying when they sit and pull kant's character apart and try and disparage him, esp if they're tagging it or whatever. like if you're truly begrudging a 29 year old man FINALLY for the first time in his life being able to make a selfish choice and do what he wants then you're just a hater. which ok whatever but can u do that shit over there where none of us can see it? thanks !

honestly tho babe is literally going to be leaving to study. he won't NEED kant. and kant - as he LITERALLY says in this ep - has been living his whole life for babe. and he did it beautifully, and without complaint, but that wasn't his choice. it wasn't what he wanted for his life. now babe is all but grown. he's starting his own life. now kant gets to start HIS too. how are you going to be mad about that? unless they somehow think kant is going to disappear and never talk to babe ever again, which is just silly. you genuinely think babe isn't going to be one of the handful of people who would know exactly where kant and bison were and have a open invite to visit whenever he wanted? come on now. but like i said, atp i think most of the ppl left still talking shit abt him just hate him. which whatever. but if that's how it is just hate him. stop trying to manipulate the narrative to justify it! just embrace being a pure bred hater damn!

but honestly that's so so lovely of you to say. i'm so glad you think so 🥺️ bc i know i'm always like 'i'm the only one who gets him/it!' but i hope everyone knows it's always in jest. everyone's entitled to their own opinions and perspectives, but i'm so glad you feel mine align with yours <3 and you're so right about the swing scene. i am admittedly biased and firstkhao could probably recite the alphabet for an hour and i would still be hooked, but the way they're constantly outdoing themselves and evolving and bringing even more depth and nuance and emotion etc to their characters and stories is such a privilege to witness. i'm so glad i found them <3

[ofpd]

i wanna change my icon hmm

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[girlivealwaysbean]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[rogloptimist]

demi/puck at wc but like. specter of lotte right

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

There is a very exquisite agony in playing a game you love so so so so so much, and realizing that one of the other players is trying to play a totally different game than you.

[poppyseed799]

btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic he’d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also don’t think homophobia would’ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously he’s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandom’s general opinion on that is pretty warped by people’s relationships w/ their own fathers

I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I don’t think there’s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what he’s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think we’d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.

The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power he’s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)

(I also think that sometimes fandom’s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out John’s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Max’s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about John’s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you can’t talk about any of those things without also talking about why they’re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.

I’m sure there’s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. I’ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)

Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.

The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, John’s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. He’s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because they’re queer???

Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ‘that’s fine, now load this gun while I time you because that’s more important for me to know that you can do’, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and can’t be accepted easily.

I just think this is truer to John’s character.

Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I don’t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what John’s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldn’t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.

So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldn’t hurt him.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.

And also he wouldn’t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-

[itsalwaysdark]

rearranged my room a bit to hoooopefully help.my heater be more effective

[sodacowboy]

oh man today has not been a good day lmao

[waywardsalt]

was going through my blog trying to track down an old post i made talking abt my feelings on jolene and it was. much longer than i remembered it being. and haha yeah i still agree with it. i need to fucking. sort out my feelings on that character and that subplot

[aromanticasterisms]

emilie is sooo flower based omg. she was made for me