#whatever it's literally fine i just need to get used to it!!

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

"We should scry on them."

"No!"

"GWAAAAAAARGH!!!"

"You stay out of this!"

"You're just mad she agrees with me."

The cave was spaciously appointed, though not luxuriously; the occupants preferred it that way. The two wizards believed in a more literal Man Cave experience, while the horror certainly felt more at home in the dark, rocky environs than it would have in a traditional summoning chamber.

"Oh come on-"

The horror cuts him off with a pointed look, cones swivelling to fix the wizard with stares from a dozen tiny eyeballs. He recovers after a moment and continues.

"Of course a Spiny Watcher thinks scrying is a good idea! She might be a fantastic parent in her own dimension," he says to an approving grumble, "but our daughter doesn't live in a literal hellscape infested with countless predators. They'll be fine."

"You really think she's ready? What if the boy is-"

"She can handle it. You've seen her growth over the past few years. You're just scared."

He reaches out and takes his husband's hand. The other man is silent.

"Just...think for a moment. If you really believe she's in danger, that we missed something in the wards on the house, or she's irresponsible enough to mess around outside them, or there's something else you think I've missed, then we can talk about it. But we have to start trusting her sometime."

A beat passes. The horror taps an appendage on the ground impatiently.

"...magic is dangerous. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"Things will. Right now, working in a safe environment on the beginner's spell suite, they'll be manageable. Give her room to make mistakes while she still has a safety net."

The other man hesitates, but ultimately nods.

"Whatever happens, it'll be alright. Now come on, we have a job to do."

The horror's eye-cones perk up as the two approach, shrinking back before she steels herself.

"It's alright, ma'am, just a routine bile test, won't be a moment. Your kids are in good eyes with your wives, you don't need to worry. Just focus on me for a second..."

The horror rotates its cones uncertainly before jumping forward in surprise.

"Done!" says the other wizard from behind her. "We'll send you back right away so you can get on with your watching; if anything's wrong we'll reach out, okay?"

The horror grunts something affirmative and thankful.

"Have a good day, ma'am," the wizard says with a wave, and the horror shrinks to a point in space and vanishes.

The man's husband sighs.

"It'll be alright," the first wizard says, reaching out to ruffle his partner's hair affectionately. "We've raised a wonderful young girl, and it's time for her to start coming into her own."

The other man lets out a sigh, half worried, half appreciative. He turns his gaze to the exit as his husband gets out the testing kit, and worries.

---

"What did you do, what did you do?"

"I did what you told me to!"

"I didn't tell you to summon THAT!"

The girl and the boy slowly back away from the thing that has appeared in the boy's carefully prepared circle. It was supposed to be a small rock. It was not.

"Send it back!"

"How??"

"Invert the thing you just did!"

"...how??"

The girl groans in frustration.

"Never mind. This place is warded to hell and back, it shouldn't be able to get us."

"Warded?"

"Yeah, like...protected against a bunch of stuff. If it attacks us it'll be stopped, if it tries to summon more..."

A beat passes.

"...like I did?"

"Shit," the girl says. "Something must be wrong with the wards."

"...should we go get your dads?" the boy asks hesitantly. The girl scowls, but begins to make wordlessly for the door.

The thing in the circle cries.

Not a vicious thing like they might have expected, but a high-pitched, keening sound of distress. Strangely human, for such an inhuman looking creature.

The pair turn to it. Now that they're not freaking out, it seems...small.

Too small.

"Ash, I...I think it might be a baby."

Ash's eyes soften for a moment, before she turns to go again.

The thing cries a second time.

"Is it going to be okay if we just leave it here?"

"We have to get my parents, Todd!"

"It's probably terrified! We can't leave it alone!"

"Well I don't know what to do!" Ash says, voice rising in pitch. Todd pauses and turns to her; her eyes are wide and fixed on the thing, seemingly unblinking.

He takes a breath.

"Ash, it's okay. You're the smartest person I know. This stuff is clearly important to you and you're just as clearly good at it."

"Then why-"

"Worry about that later. What do we need to do right now?"

"Get my parents," Ash says, turning towards the door.

The thing cries for a third time. Ash winces.

"...right. Maybe it...maybe you try going instead?"

Todd turns towards the door. The creature doesn't react.

Both of them relax, but only a little.

"Guess it likes you, heh."

"Just hurry up, Todd," Ash says irritably.

As Todd hustles out of the library and back towards the entryway, Ash stares warily at the horror.

Its eye-cones stare back.

---

"Ma'am, we're getting the scrying pool set up as quickly as we can. If you could please-"

"GRAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

"I understand, ma'am. We have a daughter too. We are doing everything we-"

"GOOOOOOOORGH."

The wizard frowns.

"That she is not of our blood is irrelevant. Your stress is understandable, but I don't appreciate-"

A knocking sound booms through the cave.

"Speak of the dev- mm, better not actually," the wizard says, heading for the door as his husband finishes chanting and waves a large staff over the water in the basin.

The wizard mutters a few words under his breath and an opening appears in the rock.

"Theresacreatureinthelibrarywithconesforeyesand-"

"GUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"BOTH OF YOU BE SILENT!" the wizard thunders, the words ringing out like a curse. The boy continues talking for a moment, stopping in confusion when no sound is emitted. The horror surges forward.

"Okay, got a fix on- ma'am, please!"

The monstrous mother rushes through the opening, shoving aside both wizard and boy before either can react. Her eye-cones swivel wildly, taking in the myriad doors in the entrance hall, before she grabs the boy and hauls him to his feet. She opens her mouth in a soundless roar.

The boy pales, but remains in place. The wizard behind him scrambles to his feet.

"Ma'am, he can't hear you and he couldn't understand you if he could. Now please-"

The boy points to one of the doors. She shuffles through it at terrifying speed.

"Boy, do you have any idea what you just did?" the wizard says with a frown.

"He sent her to her child, dear," the other wizard says as he emerges. "We were about to do the same."

"Yes, but did he have any idea?"

The dads turn to the boy, who opens his mouth to speak and doesn't.

"Right," says the first wizard, snapping his fingers.

"-don'tknowhowbut-"

A guttural noise echoes from the open doorway. The wizard allows himself a brief moment to pinch the bridge of his nose, then sets off toward the sound at a run.

"Wait here, son," his husband says, clapping the boy on the shoulder and moving to follow.

"Do I have to?" asks the boy.

The man turns and eyes him appraisingly.

"I suppose not," he says before taking off at a sprint, the boy hurrying to follow.

---

None of them were sure what they expected to find when they arrived at the library, there hadn't exactly been time to speculate, but it definitely wasn't Ash and the larger horror swinging the smaller one back and forth while it burbled happily.

"Gauuuuu!"

"See? Still fun with just two of us right?"

"GUUUURGH."

"Alright, you heard mom, three more swings and then we- oh, hey guys!" Ash says cheerfully, carefully lowering the child to the ground. "Gaooo..."

"I know, but it's time for you to go home. You shouldn't even be here in the first place!"

"Gauuu?"

"Only if your mothers say you can. Now come on, she's been worried sick about you."

"Guoooo..."

"GROOOOOGH."

The mother scoops up the child and holds on tightly as Ash turns to face the bewildered arrivals.

"What on earth happened in here, young lady?" one of her fathers says.

"You mean you don't know?" Ash frowns. "I was hoping you'd be able to answer that for me."

"Now see here-"

"No, no, she's right," her other father says. "The house should have been warded against this sort of thing. Ash, dear, what were you doing when this little fellow appeared?"

"I was running Todd through the-"

"Todd, huh? You never did introduce us before."

"Dad-"

"Just don't turn him into a toad, alright?" her dad says with a wink. "Your father gave me no end of grief when-"

"DAD!"

The man chuckles, gesturing for her to continue while his husband sighs.

"Okay, so I was running Todd through the beginner's suite. We were up to the rock-"

"You're up to the rock already? Promising," her dad says, slapping Todd on the back so hard he stumbles forward. Ash glares at him. "Sorry, sorry, go on."

Ash clears her throat.

"We were up to the rock, but when he tried to summon it from the nearby table he got..."

Ashley gestures helplessly back at the mother and child, the former watching with increasing impatience barely tempered by curiosity.

"Which shouldn't have happened for a number of reasons, so-"

Her dad snaps his fingers.

"Did the young one seem scared?"

"Well, yeah, but we pulled him out of who knows where- well, I suppose the mother must- wait, where did she come from, anyway?"

Her dads look at each other silently for a few seconds, then a few seconds more.

Then a few seconds more.

"Ash, what do you think happens in the Man Cave?"

"Dad, if this is another one of your jokes about-"

"No jokes, Ash," her dad says seriously.

"...then...I don't know. You have a different story every week. I guess you're probably just...no, I really don't know," she finishes with a frown.

"It's the family trade, Ash. We offer a variety of goods and services from medical to recreational to folks from other dimensions. She," the wizard says, gesturing to the mother, who looks over briefly before returning to fussing over her child, "was here for a routine checkup; we sent her back home, she found one of her children missing, and she came right back to ask for our help finding him. Todd came to get us, mentioned the little fellow, pointed her in the right direction, and she took off right away."

There is silence for a few moments as Ash processes this, broken only by soft cooing sounds.

"...I have a few questions."

"Shoot."

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"Well, we figured when you were old enough-"

"Was it dangerous for me to know?" Ash said.

"We didn't want you looking into anything extraplanar before-"

"Was it?" she demanded, face flat.

"Yes," her other dad interjected. "Neither of us heard about interdimensional travel until we were well into our careers, and for good reason. The mere knowledge that it's possible has led many uneducated, unsupervised wizards to attempt the unwise; even tiny, seemingly safe, ostensibly observation only dimensional magics can fail in subtle yet catastrophic ways without an experienced practitioner on hand. Talking about it with the uninitiated is simply not done, and initiation doesn't happen until...later."

Ash frowns. "Cat's out of the bag now, isn't it?"

Her dads sigh.

"I suppose," one says. "We'll start tomorrow. Don't try anything, anything, for any reason, until then. Okay?"

Ash nods.

"Alright. Tomorrow."

A beat passes.

"How did the kid get here?"

"I am guessing through the 'tunnel' we used to send his mother back home," one of her dads says. "He must have been spooked by something and latched onto the rock summoning spell through it as a reflexive means of escape; it probably felt like mom and seemed similar to the escape route Spiny Watchers usually provide when their children are in danger."

"GRAAAAAAH."

"Yeah, she asked her kid and it seems like that lines up with what he told her."

A beat passes. Ash sighs.

"We'll talk about that more tomorrow, I guess.

Her dads nod.

"What about him?" she says, pointing at Todd. "He knows about all this now, right? Is that a problem?"

"He'll have to come tomorrow too, and every session after until we're satisfied he's not going to break reality."

"Thought you weren't apprenticing my boyfriends any more," Ash grumbles, but there's a hint of a smile underneath. Her father chuckles. Todd stands there awkwardly, trying to look confident.

"Last question: Why did Todd send her down here?"

Everyone turns to Todd, who shrugs.

"Didn't take a genius to figure out she was looking for her kid," he says.

"And you just sent her after Ash?" one of the wizards says with a frown.

Todd shrugs again. "If I didn't trust Ash, I wouldn't be letting her teach me about all this in the first place. Besides, you were treating the mother like a visitor, and she didn't hurt me. Figured she was safe and just worried out of her mind. Didn't seem right not to help."

The dads exchange a glance.

"Well," says one, "we're going to have a good, long talk about best practices when dealing with dimensional visitors."

Todd nods nervously.

"That said...in this case, you were right. Properly honed and backed with knowledge, that instinct will serve you well in this field."

"Er, I was planning on going into forestry..."

"Too bad," a dad says with a laugh.

Todd sighs.

"Well, if there are no more immediate questions then we'll all reconvene tomorrow. Our guests here have been waiting more than long enough."

"GRAAAAAAGH."

"You kids get back to the beginner's suite; Todd here will need a strong foundation sooner than we expected."

The pair of wizards and the pair of horrors file quickly out of the library, leaving the younger pair alone.

Ash turns to Todd.

"So, the rock should probably wait until they're done. Next is the feather..."

A girl and the guy she is dating just walked into her house and see her parents slinging spells at one another, smiling and cackling like madmen. "Are they fighting?" said the guy, hiding behind her. "Worse. It’s their anniversary, so this is them actually...flirting," she said, rolling her eyes.

[madebyrolo]

𝘔𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘰𝘺

Jj Maybank x reader

she/her

Dating jj has its up and downs. Growing up with an abusive father and no mother figure had him feeling alone, never feeling comfortable or lovable. Once he meets y/n his walls slowly start to come down but it takes awhile for him to accept he matters.

Obx masterlist

⋆｡⋆｡° 𓆉*ੈ‧₊˚ ༘⋆

As y/n laid with Jj in the hamock of John Bs. chateau, Jj stared at her in awe. Taking in every inch of her. If you were to put a 13 year old boy right beside him you wouldn't know which was which.

He didn't have much but one thing he did have was you, and it was worth more than anything in the world.

Call him a kook because he was rich in love.

He was happy. You were by far the best person he’s ever met on Kildare island, though don’t tell John B that.

══════════════════════

Y/n and Jj limbs were tangled in the hammock

They have been laying together almost all afternoon, you would be surprised that Jj hasn’t taken a nap yet.

You guys were talking the day away, like how you were able to score more hours at the small boutique you worked at. How Jj almost convinced a kooks dog to go home with him (thankfully he called you to show the cute little guy and you were table to talk some sense into him.)

But mainly it was you doing the talking, Jj just watched and listened. But he was fine with that.

He watched you in awe, with love and lust filmed eyes

He knew your face too well. Every emotion, muscle movement, the “imperfections”. He practically studied it and Jj doesn’t even own a single book.

He knew the way your eyes lit up when you would get happy or excited. How your brows scrunched when you were confused. The bite marks on your lips when you would get confused.

You would tell Jj everything and anything

Telling the blonde every small little details about your day knowing Jj didnt have to know how long it took the duck to cross the street.

The way you couldn’t tell a story without forgetting a small detail and making it 10x more longer than it needed to be.

The way your tounge would slip and stuttered on words.

He just always looked at you with stars in his eyes.

As you continued to talk you mention about your encounter at the gas station earlier today.

“So after I dropped off my brother at practice I stopped to get gas, I just hate how he has to be good enough for a team all the way on Figure 8.” You huff

“The funny thing is that when I was filling up this dude pulled up with his truck right beside me.”

Jj immediately perked up.

“He was talking to me, making convo for some reason. It wasn’t too bad I guess he was nice, but then started making some flirty comments. He was trying to hint on taking me on a date but thankfully my tank filled up right on time.” You told Jj

“Oh um I bet that was uncomfortable for you I’m sorry.” He said as he was more uncomfortable with it.

“It wasn’t bad. He was nice with it unlike the others just straight up being douchebags” you rolled your eyes.

“He even offered to pay my gas but I wouldn’t let him. I should’ve tho it was like $80 bucks”’ you smile to yourself trying to make heart of the situation

“Did you get his name?” Jj asked starting to feel a bit queezy.

“Jj it doesn’t matter anyways. I don’t want you to get into fights, you know I hate it.” You knew what would happen if Jj were to find out

“Yea whatever come on tell me who it is. We’re supposed to tell each other everything yeah ?” He moved your chin to look at him, with his brow cocking

“Ugh fine. But don’t go starting something okay?” You said trying to plead with him

“it was topper” you say lowly

Just by hearing the first syllable he immediately started fuming

“Topper!? Really ? Oh my god that man has balls” he said removing you from him

“Jj please dont-” you winced

“he knows we’re together why would he even try it?” He said getting defensive

“His whole friend group is quite literally obsessed with us, he would’ve, should’ve know we are together? This wouldn’t even be his first time hitting on you, and yet still getting rejected!” the blonde chuckled while putting his shoes on

“He’s been trying even before we got together, hasn’t he gotten a clue?” Jj now walking out the hammock

“Jj where are you going ?” You complained

“Look we’re pouges? He clearly knows that. He hates us for god sakes. He a kook, why would they go after pouge, let alone one they hate. Are they bored with what they have? ‘anything they want yet, crave what’s not theirs.” jj said clearly angry and jealous.

You saw him headed towards the woods.

“Jj please dont go” you said attempting to get out the hammock without rolling off.

“Topper, the kooks in general, they don’t matter to us. They shouldn’t” you raised your voice as the boy disappeared in the trees.

Y/n finally gets out, she puts her shoes on trying to follow the boy she lost vision of.

As she followed the trail she ended up in deep in the middle of the woods but no sign of Jj.

She kept walking hoping to find him somewhere, it wasn’t hard to hide but how far can he go? She continued walking getting closer to the edge of the island near the bay.

After 10 minutes of walking though twigs and hopefully not poison ivy, she found him.

He was sitting on a small abandoned old boat, covered in grime on the outside but perfectly clean on the inside with blankets. Now knowing he’s been here before.

“Hey Jay” you said walking up to him. He was laying on the floor of the boat with his vape on his chest.

He didn’t say anything, he just gave a nod and just stared at the sky. Clearly lost in thoughts, sadness lingering his eyes.

“Jj please. Whats wrong ? Talk to me.” you asked

You joined him in the boat, sitting beside him. You placed your hand on his head, stroking his blonde locks.

He didn’t budge, just laid there hopelessly. She gave him a couple of minutes to wind down before she asked anything.

“Jj we promised to tell eachother everything.” You pleaded with the boy grabbing his hands tangling your fingers putting them into your lap.

“I just find it funny that they want everything. Even when it’s not theirs.” He said with his jaw locking.

“They claim to hate us pouges. Treat us like scum, yet they are so obsessed with you. I don’t get it?” He said with a breathily laugh

“Make it make sense am I right?” He tried to mask he sadness with humor like always does.

“Jj they’re kooks, they’re hungry for anything they can put their hands on.” You said trying to ease him

“It doesn’t matter-”

“but it does ! It matters y/n?!” He raised his voice.

Jj sits ups

“They absolutely hate us, especially me and John B. I don’t know if them flirting with you is just to get me but if it is, it’s working.”

“Jj you know I would never, ever leave you. Not for money, not for looks, not for anything.” Now you grab his heading turning it to you.

“I love you Jj. I would never let anything or anyone come between us, and I know you wouldn’t too.”

He searched your eyes looking to see if you were just saying that to shut him up or telling the truth.

And you were.

but he just couldn’t bare the fact that other people had eyes on you. On His girl.

Jj loved you. He made sure to tell you every second he could.

He was greatful to have you in his life.

He felt like he was in denial or living in his dreams knowing that you wait for me just outside of his sleep.

Just trying to understand his fucked up life.

He didn't have much but he had you.

He was happy for a spilt second. He believed you. You loved him and he loved you. Everyone saw it.

John B and Sarah were sick of how in love you guys were, and they were engaged.

Thoughts now lingering in his head what he would ever do if he lost you.

Knowing you had the eyes of everyone including kooks on you.

You reassured him everytime something bother him.

He knows how easy it is for people to leave him.

But it ripped his soul out knowing you could leave him. That it was an option.

He knew topper, and hell even Rafe had eyes at one point had eyes on her. On his Y/n.

They were rich, smart, handsome, confident, even going to church every Sunday. The “safe”option.

They were everything he wasn’t.

“Can’t even blame him” jj said putting his head down, whipping his mouth with his tounge sticking his cheek.

“What? Jj what do you mean?” you ask him

“Look at you y/n…” he started

“You’re so smart, you’re like at the top of our class. So nice it’s literally giving me a sweet tooth just sitting here. You’re just so perfect.”

“You help take care of your brother when your mom either works days shifts so she’s home when you guys are. You literally volunteer anytime you can. You can get a paycheck but you don’t care about the money when you know how much it can help others. You are the most kind hearted person I know, you don’t take anyone’s shit. You stand up for yourself, I even saw you smack John b for making a joke about Sarah his own girlfriend .”

“Fiancé, She’s still a human, fucking or not it was disrespectful.”

“You aren’t like me. You’re loving and caring, you spend your time helping others. I just can’t understand how you can even consider me the person you love.”

“Jj i don’t believe any of the stuff-”

“Why me? Am I just a charity cost? A bet between you and topper who is just teasing me, or-“

“Jj enough! I’m not going to sit here and hear you talk so terribly about yourself !”

“You may not think you’re a good guy but I see it everyday! When my car breaks down you fix it, when I need help with my brother you come swooping in. When I’m sick you’re immediately at my door step with snacks and medicine. Hell you even made me the most delicious homemade soup and we all know you can’t cook for shit. You pick me up,offer me rides, watch movies I know you hate.” You give him a soft smile just adoring the boy

“And you love me. I hate to admit but I was jealous of all the hooks up before me” you say embarrassed

“But I know how hard it is for you to open up and just to let people in. I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone and yet you gave me the chance”

Jj now looks at you with guilt in his eyes

“We may not give each other silver jewelry, but you gave me your heart. That’s worth more than anything in the world.” You caress his face

“I love you Jj, I mean it. I wouldn’t mind being stuck with you forever” you joke

“I didn’t mean to make you upset, I just want to make sure you’re happy with, or without me. I love you i truly do. I just have a hard time accepting it.”

“It’s okay. I just don’t need you changing up on me. Just remember that you can always talk to me” you push his hair out his face.

“What if I were to change your last name” he smirks looking down at your lips

“See, there’s the Jj I know.” You were relieved that he was happy again

“I’m sorry for making you think we weren’t okay. I just can’t help that -”

“That you were talking nonsense? That you equally obsessed with me as them, what if you guys are in love with each other and I’m the joke?” You joke with him

“Please, he would be lucky to to get with me” Jj says grabbing your hands

“Guess im the luckiest of them all huh?” You look down at his lips

“Just like a beautiful boy with Steve Carrel” Jj joked making a reference from when you made him watch the film.

“My beautiful boy.” you say leaning in for a kiss

But before Jj could connect your lips he backs up.

“Wait you never answered me. What if I were to give you the title of Mrs.Maybank ” He smiled

“Doesn’t sound too bad” you said leaning back in

“Might have to do. I like it a lot.” you smile

“Good because you didn’t have a choice either way….”

═════════════════════

Ahh sorry for being not posting anything in months !!

Haven’t had any motivation or ideas but here’s a cute little Jj Maybank story :)

[ravenclaw-for-all-seasons]

The Wedding Chronicles - Mattheo Riddle (4)

A/N: This is one of my personal favorites, just for the platonic sentimentality between Theo and Y/N…and it’s a super long one ❤️

Finding The Dress

As you and Mattheo continued basking in the moment, Pansy, ever the planner, clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Alright, lovebirds," she said, leaning in. "Since we finally have a date, we need to start looking at dresses. We should go to Hogsmeade this weekend—there's a boutique that carries gorgeous gowns. You need something breathtaking that will befit your new title as Mrs. Riddle."

You laughed, shaking your head. "Pansy, we literally just set the date two minutes ago."

"Exactly!" she said, smirking. "Which means we’re already behind schedule."

Enzo groaned dramatically. "Merlin, it's starting already."

Blaise chuckled. "You better get used to it. Pansy's not going to let this go."

Mattheo, still holding your hand, smirked at you. "You wanna go?"

You bit your lip, considering it. The idea of wedding dress shopping with Pansy—who would no doubt make a whole event of it—was actually exciting.

"Yeah," you said finally. "Let's do it."

Pansy beamed, looking triumphant. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"

That night, curled up in Mattheo’s arms, you found yourself thinking about the wedding plans. You knew Pansy would be by your side, but as you thought about the idea of dress shopping, something felt missing.

"Theo should come with us," you murmured suddenly.

Mattheo tilted his head, looking down at you. "To get your dress?"

You nodded. "My parents aren’t around, and Theo's basically my brother. I want him there."

Mattheo thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. He’ll love it—though he’ll probably pretend he’s miserable the whole time."

You grinned. "Exactly."

The next morning, you made your way to the common room with Mattheo to find Theo lounging on the sofa, Enzo beside him. Pansy was perched on the armrest, flipping through a magazine.

"Oi, Theo," you called, making your way over.

He glanced up, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"You’re coming dress shopping with me and Pansy this weekend."

Theo blinked. "I’m what?"

"You heard her," Mattheo said, smirking as he sat down. "She wants you there."

Theo scoffed, looking at you like you’d lost your mind. "Why would I—" He stopped himself, sighing. "Fine. But if I have to sit through hours of you trying on white dresses, I expect full control over the firewhiskey at your wedding."

"Deal," you said, grinning.

Pansy clapped her hands together. "Oh! And while we’re talking wedding stuff—" She turned to you, about to launch into another review of her mental checklist.

You smiled, interrupting her. "Pans, will you be my bridesmaid?"

Pansy let out a dramatic gasp before throwing her arms around you. "Obviously! Oh, this is going to be perfect."

Mattheo took that as his cue to turn to Theo and Enzo. "And while we’re at it—I want you two to be my best men."

Theo and Enzo exchanged a look before grinning.

"Like you even had a choice," Enzo joked.

"You two idiots are the best I’ve got," Mattheo said dryly.

"You wound me," Draco said from the corner, smirking.

Mattheo rolled his eyes. "You and Blaise are my groomsmen, obviously."

Draco gave a pleased nod while Blaise smirked.

"Well, looks like we’ve got our wedding party," Pansy said, grinning. "Now, let’s get planning."

Mattheo groaned. "Merlin help us."

As you all arrived in Hogsmeade, the crisp autumn air filled the streets, the scent of butterbeer and fresh parchment lingering from the nearby shops. Mattheo wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close before you could disappear with Pansy and Theo.

“I called ahead to the dress shop,” he murmured, brushing a kiss against your temple. “They have access to my vault, so don’t even think about the price. Just pick whatever you love.”

Your mouth fell open slightly. “Mattheo, I—”

He gave you a firm look, the kind that left no room for argument. “I want you to have the best.”

Before you could respond, Enzo let out a loud whoop from behind him. “This is fantastic! We love a wealthy and devoted fiancé.”

Draco smirked. “No surprise there. Riddle's always been completely whipped for her.”

Mattheo shot them both a glare, but you could feel the warmth of his palm against your back, the way his fingers traced small circles against your coat.

Enzo wasn’t done. “Tell me, mate, does she have unlimited access to all your vaults? Because if so, I’m considering marrying you myself.”

Mattheo groaned, rolling his eyes, while Theo just smirked beside you. “You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t hex you before this trip is over.”

You shook your head, biting back a smile. “Alright, enough. You lot go drink yourselves stupid at the Three Broomsticks, and I’ll find something I actually like while you all get progressively worse at holding your liquor.”

Pansy looped her arm through yours, grinning. “Now that is a plan.”

Mattheo sighed, pressing one last kiss to your lips before reluctantly letting you go. “Don’t be too long, I miss you already.”

“Go drink your firewhiskey and let me shop in peace,” you teased, nudging him toward the others.

Enzo grinned. “Oh don’t worry, we’ll be raising a glass to the future Mrs. Riddle all afternoon.”

You rolled your eyes as the boys headed off, laughing amongst themselves, before turning toward the dress shop with Pansy and Theo at your side.

The bell chimed softly as you stepped inside, the room filled with rows of elegant gowns, shimmering in candlelight. Immediately the witch in charge set her enchanted tape measure on you to take your measurements and dresses were being pulled out for you to try.

As you disappeared into the changing area with the assistant, Pansy turned to Theo, crossing her arms with a pointed look.

“Listen up, Nott,” she said. “She values your opinion more than anyone’s—probably even more than Mattheo’s—so you better not be your usual broody, sarcastic self when she comes out.”

Theo raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. “You’re asking me to be peppy and upbeat?”

“Yes.” Pansy nodded firmly. “I know it’s not in your nature, but for today, pretend. She thinks of you like a brother, and if you roll your eyes or make some dry remark about wedding dresses, she’ll take it seriously.”

Theo sighed dramatically, dragging a hand through his hair. “Fine. But if I die of forced enthusiasm, make sure Mattheo puts ‘Killed by Pansy Parkinson’s demands’ on my tombstone.”

Pansy smirked. “Deal. Now get ready to gush over some dresses.”

Theo shook his head, muttering to himself, but when the assistant pulled back the curtain and you stepped out in the first dress, he straightened up immediately.

And to both your and Pansy’s surprise, he actually looked… impressed.

Pansy’s eyes lit up as she took you in. “Wow, you look stunning,” she admitted, tilting her head. “It really shows off your figure.”

Theo, sitting with one ankle resting on his opposite knee, gave a slow nod of approval. “Yeah, you look good,” he said simply. “But…”

You raised an eyebrow. “But?”

Pansy sighed, glancing at Theo before turning back to you. “It’s gorgeous, but I feel like something more classic might suit you better. Something timeless.”

Theo shrugged. “Agreed. This is hot, but I can’t picture you walking down the aisle in it. You need something that screams wealth.”

You laughed at his bluntness, smoothing your hands down the fabric. “Fair enough. Let’s try another.”

After a few more dresses that were all missing that certain something, the assistant brought the final dress over with a quiet flourish, a soft smile on her face. She knew she had something special. The ballgown was stunning—almost otherworldly. The dress exuded elegance, with a fitted bodice that flared dramatically into a voluminous skirt. The intricate lace details on the sleeves and the soft satin sheen of the fabric shimmered slightly in the light.

The assistant delicately placed a tiara atop your head and draped a veil over your face, completing the regal look. As she stepped back, you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of it all, the significance of the moment settling in.

You walked out, your heart racing with excitement.

Pansy’s eyes went wide as she gasped, clapping her hands dramatically. “Oh my god, this is it! You look like a princess.” She was practically bouncing on her heels, her face lighting up with pure joy. “This is the dress! It’s so you!” Her voice carried the enthusiasm and flair you had come to expect from her, but this time it was even more genuine.

You smiled, your heart swelling, but as you looked to Theo, you saw something different. He was staring at you with a soft, emotional expression, his usual teasing grin replaced by something more meaningful. Without a word, he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.

“You look amazing,” he said, his voice unusually soft. “Absolutely perfect.”

You pulled back slightly, your hands resting on his arms. “Theo…” you started, the words coming out slower than you expected. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Would you... would you walk me down the aisle?”

Theo froze for a moment, his eyes widening in surprise. You could see the emotion flicker across his face before it softened into something warm. His smile became gentle, and he gave a small nod, his voice quiet but filled with sincerity.

“Of course I will,” he said, his words steady and heartfelt. “I’d be honored.” You gave him a grateful smile, and he squeezed your hand, looking at you like the big brother he had always been to you.

The moment was interrupted by the theatrical shrieks still coming from Pansy as she took you in. “Mattheo is going to die when he sees you in this on your wedding day,” she exclaimed, her voice filled with playful theatrics. “I mean, seriously, he won’t even know what hit him. This dress is perfect for you, and he’s going to be speechless. I might need to brace myself for the sheer shock on his face.”

Theo, ever the calming force but still smiling, leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “I have to agree with her,” he said, his voice steady but amused. “When he sees you, all I can say is—good luck, Mattheo.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at their over-the-top reactions, the warmth of their friendship making everything feel more real and exciting. You spun once more in the dress, admiring the way it made you feel confident and beautiful. This was the one.

[bromcommie]

(Look, I can’t even do the whole “list of sources” thing anymore. I’ve been livid for 10 hours now. I just need to vent.)

In addition to inciting fear and hiking up tensions in the past few weeks, organizing various paid goons to play at a counter-protest and to threaten students, blocking intercity and city public transport and rolling out special police forces and armored vehicles, last night in Belgrade the absolute cowards constituting the Serbian leadership apparently ordered the use of what seems to be a sound cannon on hundreds of thousands of people, in order to interrupt and break up an ENTIRELY SILENT, PEACEFUL 15-minute vigil. A vigil for victims of an “accident” that same leadership is still refusing to take any accountability for, systemically or individually, 4+ months later.

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No incidents preceded this, by the way. This wasn’t a riot. Not that it should matter, since these tactics are never implemented to protect anyone anyway, but I feel compelled to say that. There was zero “justifiable cause”. There weren’t even any uniformed police in that area that anyone could see.

People were rightfully terrified because a) this has never happened before so they legitimately didn’t know if there’s something crashing down on their heads (which is how we got here in the first fucking place, isn’t it) or a bomb going off or what, and b) there was absolutely ZERO reason to expect it to happen then, other than the government getting pissy and taking issue with 300,000+ (at the most rigid estimate) people coming to protest peacefully.

And to be perfectly clear, I don’t think using an LRAD in this way is EVER justifiable, considering it’s almost guaranteed to cause mass injury as a result of stampedes as well as possibly hearing damage—but the sheer pathetic spinelessness of using it out of nowhere on a bunch of people, including the elderly and babies in fucking strollers, who are literally just standing still and silent for fifteen minutes to honor and grieve a deeply traumatic national tragedy is just…heinous.

As of right now I’m not sure how many people got hurt (in this incident as well as the subsequent physical attacks on the students from “random” hooligans and clashes with the cops) but I know it’s one too many, and there’s civil rights orgs offering free legal support to those who did.

And here’s the punchline: after all that, the fucking police had the gall to issue a statement saying “this wasn’t us, the use of sound cannons is illegal in Serbia.”

Oh, really? Who or what was it then, do you think? Maybe a particularly loud bicycle horn sent all those people ducking for cover? Somebody’s kid brother pulling out a portable speaker for shits and giggles? Or are you implying that somehow, some 19-yearold who’s studying film and works at the local coffeeshop or whatever is ordering American-grade sonic weapons off of Temu to use for the students’ nefarious government-toppling schemes?

“It wasn’t us, that’d be illegal 🥺” Give me a fucking break.

And maybe the question we should be asking is, “how in the world did we get to a point where the regime can afford to be so transparent? As if it’s normal for the police to even deny something like this. As if the alternative—which would be that we simply have rogue off-label weapons floating around, I guess, which are being used illegally on thousands of members of the public by some unknown force that the cops can supposedly neither predict nor control—even if it were true, is somehow fine and doesn’t make the govt look even more inept and culpable?”

I mean. I know how we got here. It’s painfully goddamn obvious how, and I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but Jesus Christ. Clown fucking state.

[twopoppies]

I love your blog, but I'm also a Swiftie. It honestly makes me sad that so many people despise her so intensely. I can't shake the feeling that there's some misogyny lurking beneath what seems like reasonable criticism. Why do people hate her so much?

Moreover, she might be a victim of the music industry's heteronormativity herself. There are plenty of theories about her being bisexual or even a lesbian. I used to think that was impossible—that she was the most heterosexual woman alive—but after reading the Gaylor theories, I started to have doubts, especially considering her strangely intense "friendship" with Dianna Agron.

She’s not a bad person just because she agreed to a PR relationship with Harry. One Direction’s team wanted to use her to break into the American market, and that’s a standard practice in the entertainment industry.

I thought Larries would understand Gaylors better than anyone, but the sheer amount of sexism and lesbophobia/biphobia directed at her is exhausting. There's just as much evidence of her being non-heterosexual as there is for Harry or Louis.

She’s even said herself that she adapts her music to her audience. It’s entirely possible that she writes songs to fit the official narrative. And TTPD is more about her relationship with fame and how much it broke her than about Matty Healy.

If you really listen to her music, you'll notice she has a lot of songs about socially forbidden, disapproved relationships—ones that even go against God. That doesn't exactly scream heterosexual to me.

Hi, darling. I’m assuming this is written in good faith, so I’m just going to be brief. Literally everything you say here has been said to me over the last decade. I just don’t agree with any of it when it comes to my personal feelings about her.

I don’t dislike her because she’s a woman. I don’t dislike her because she might be queer. I don’t think she’s a victim of the music industry other than that she’s a part of it and has adapted in whatever way she needed to in order to be hugely successful. I don’t dislike her because she had a PR relationship with Harry. All of that, IMO, is what so many swifties use in order to shut people up who have a lot more to say about why they dislike her.

Here’s one summary from a few years ago of things that bother me about her.

Here are my tags if you want to sift through it all and find the rest.

H*YLOR

SWIFTIE

I really truly don’t want to talk about this any more than I already have. It’s fine if you like her. And I get wanting people to see someone you admire in the same way you do. I’m sorry I can’t do that. But, I don’t talk about her often (and rarely ever because I want to) and I tag everything; so if you want to still read my blog and not see that conversation, feel free to filter those tags. ❤️

[ofpd]

i wanna change my icon hmm

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Saw a post of someone saying pink is married to every color and it was a bunch of images of the color pink and how nicely it looks and compliments all the other colors and maybe that's why I have so many F/Os maybe I'm just the color pink

[rogloptimist]

demi/puck at wc but like. specter of lotte right

[artificer-real]

ive started to really despise self help posts because all they do for me is illustrate just how apparently fucked i am compared to most other people

[poppyseed799]

btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.

[largetriangles]

Stayed up too late and now I’m scared

[connormoving]

rearranged my room a bit to hoooopefully help.my heater be more effective

[aromanticasterisms]

emilie is sooo flower based omg. she was made for me

[fappellmoan]

me rn 😔 or ig like half an hour ago..