#whatever i think peony will have the most interesting stuff to say about comes first

[giantchasm]

My bad if I'm a little late (especially for a two-in-one), but who's the cool parent to you, Peony? And which of your ghostly buds do you like more, Papa Max or old bestie Sectonia? (Good luck on bringing them back btw! At least I believe you can do it! :D

"No, seriously, though... both my mom and dad are so cool, and Granddad and Miss Sectonia are the absolute best. I guess it's one of those things where it's not really a competition for me? They're each cherished by me in their own individual way. Mom’s so tough and smart. She has an answer to EVERYTHING, and she never lets anyone mess with her! But my dad is super brave and knows all the best stories… and he’s smart, too! Every bit as much as mom is! Just in a different way. The two of them have taught me everything I know. Granddad spoils me and tells the best jokes and loves to play games. But Miss Sectonia is always looking out for me and says the nicest things. She seems scary when you first meet her, but once you get her to warm up she’s the most caring person you’ll know. Which… um, I guess might sound strange to the people who knew Granddad and Sectonia when they were sick, but they’re alright now, so everybody has to be nice to them! They’re my family, too, and that’s why I’m working so hard to make sure they’ll eventually be allowed to live the lives they deserve. Thank you for the well wishes regarding that."

Ohhhh Peony, I can't help but feel you're simplifying this a little. I would not, in fact, describe Sectonia, even uncorrupted, as 'the most caring person you know.' With or without an ancient artifact actively flanderizing her personality she's a bit of a mean-spirited, self-centered bitch. She's just chosen to take you specifically under her wing because you're your father's daughter and you remind her of her younger, more reckless self. You are the exception not the rule. 😭

Same goes for Granddad. Dude's also still kind of goddamn weird. Your mother, in fact, would be the first person to state that.

I'm glad you're so loved and have so much love for your family, though. I'm sure your mom, dad, granddad and the unexplained scary woman who aimlessly follows your father around appreciate it.

@kirbyoctournament

[princeblack]

he considers her question, wondering if he should be honest. “the second one, but it’s not exactly a secret,” he admits, gaze looking over her again. he’ll never get tired of how gorgeous she is.

“i think i’d like having you as a teacher.” he can already picture it, listening to her sweet voice as she instructs him. “you can put me to work.” he would do whatever she asked and he’s sure it would be interesting too.

she clarifies what she meant and he tries to stop thinking about kissing her soft pink lips. “i wish we were there… i hate everyone at this party but you and two other people.” he liked blaise and astoria, but he’s honestly not even sure why they’re here, since most of their friends weren’t. theo is a nightmare, on top of that. regulus can’t help the anger he feels for him, hating the other male for making bee afraid.

she says it would be tempting to do whatever they want right here and he flushes, trying not to let his mind go places. “you can have anything you want from me.. any place or time.” he would do anything to taste her, just the thought alone making him a little dizzy, when she’s this close.

she seems unsure about his offer, bringing up her pets and plants. he’s surprised that she doesn’t already know that would be one of his favorite parts. “that’s not imposing, that’s just a bonus. i really want to meet them… and learn all of your plants’ names.” he’s sure bee probably names them. he wants it more than anything, to have her in his space and spend more time together. he wonders if she’ll be okay with taking his bed. he would sleep on the couch for her, if she wanted.

he can’t help but smile a little when she comments about him seeing her without make up, as if he’s not about to kind of do that right now. “you’re beautiful,” he says firmly, green eyes meeting hers. “i want to see how cute you look when you’re ready for bed, and in the mornings.” he can only imagine how precious she looks in her pajamas and with messy hair. “i’ll talk to my brother tonight and let him know you’re coming. whenever you’re ready, you can bring your things over. i can help, too, if you need it.” 

she’s sitting on the bathroom counter for him now, so he walks over to the cabinet, pulling out a washcloth. “that’s by design, actually. if you weren’t obsessed with me i’d be throwing a tantrum right now.” he smirks, moving back to the sink. “kidding. i’m not fragile like theo. i’d probably pout though, in private.” he turns the faucet on, wetting the washcloth and putting some face wash on it. luckily theo has the scentless kind that dermatologists always recommend.

he positions himself in front of her, leaning in to start washing her face. one hand takes her chin while the other moves the washcloth over her little face, scrubbing gently and making sure to wash the tear stains away. “you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, gently caressing her cheek with the cloth. “you’re probably tired of hearing it, but i was kind of in awe when i first saw you.”

she touches his arm where his jacket is pushed up, tracing part of the dandelion stem tattooed on his arm. he’s surprised when she says peonies are her favorite, but also not because it makes sense that the girl who reminds him of a lovely flower would love the prettiest of flowers. “that makes sense,” he says gently. “they remind me of you.” he allows his thumb to brush against her cheek, his green eyes warm. “i’ve always loved them.”

he pauses, looking away as he wrings out the washcloth, leaving it on the counter and moving to retrieve a dry one from the cabinet. “i started getting tattoos because i wanted my body and my life to feel like my own, i guess. my family brought me up in this fundamentalist christian cult and they didn’t believe in stuff like this. my job pays pretty well some nights and my brother has been helping me, so i decided to start getting tattoos of my favorite things. mostly just nature related.” he gently pats her face dry with the cloth, smiling faintly at how cute she looks as he gets her cheeks.

shes never eaten meat, at least not since she was six and first found out about how it gets made. it broke her heart and she remembers being traumatized as a kid wanting to save all the cows from having to feel pain. who could hurt something with such big eyes and kissable noses. theo made fun of her for it, saying it's already a pain in the ass having to do the extra shit especially if they went out to eat somewhere but that's not going to change how she feels, plus her food eas delicious too.

she's a bit surprised by how naturally he takes it, not that it's unnatural to be a vegetarian but in the way he acts as though he's already known. she doesn't remember if she's told him before but it makes her smile either way, because he knew her and he thought it was adorable? even the details behind it. "am I that obvious or are you secretly in love with me?" she teases softly before shaking her head. "you're sweet." she hums.

he explains how he's never cooked vegetarian...or really at all and in an odd way she finds it endearing. something she can teach him makes her a bit excited because she feels as though she's always learning from him, he's so smart and cool....sexy but he can't cook. "it's kind of impossible to go wrong with vegetarian meals but don't worry, I'm ready to teach you everything I know." she smiles softly

she giggles but it's kind of nervous as well as he tells her they're alone now and can do whatever they want. it's inviting, biting down on her lower lip as eyes flicker to his own for all too long. "I meant...more so when there isn't other people close. just you and me and a blanket fort." she hums. "but it does sound tempting, doing whatever we wanted right here." she flirts, smiling shyly as she bites down on her lip. "maybe before the night ends I can show you what I mean..." she wants to kiss him so bad that it almost hurts, even with the fact that maybe she also wants to do a little more than that. but she doesn't think the kitchen is the right place, people can walk in and out and she doesn't want to be interrupted when she's finally got her one chance with the sweet boy of her dreams.

it's then regulus offers her a place to stay if she's really scared of theo. it makes her sick thinking what could happen if theo finds out she's planning to leave him but she also doesn't want to intrude too much, with alfie and merlin and her plants. "are you sure? I have pets and plants and....I don't wanna like, impose." she would like to live with him though, at least for awhile until shes sure she's safe. theo had never straight up threatened her or anything but many things were implied and he had anger issues. plus, being with regulus means getting to know him more and seeing what he looks like in the mornings when no one else sees. "I don't think I feel safe alone though...and if you really want me to stay and don't mind seeing me without make up for the first time then yeah, I'd like that."

now they're on the bathroom together, the only clean place in the apartment because bee refuses to pee somewhere that she'd be scared of catching weird diseases which she's glad because looking at regulus next to her in a clean mirror makes her smile, he's so handsome and you csn tell how he towers over her when looking at it from a third person perspective. he's so tall and sexy in his party outfit, her heart leaps inside her chest.

it's gets worse when he's gently grabbing her wrist and stopping her and offering to fix it himself. she finds it sweet and almost sexy that he claims to know how, not a trait most guys would have. "you're making it really hard not to be obsessed with you. she jokes softly but then she nods, pushing her bag towards him before using her arms to lift herself on the counter, blue eyes looking back at him as she gently swings her feet back and forth. she notices his tattoos peaking out, she'd seen them before, over the time they'd known each other she had counted every tattoo he had on his skin. he had peonies which were strangely one of her favorites as well, she smiles a bit. "peonies are actually my favorite flower." she smiles, she has everything peony scented at home right down to the actual flowers she keeps watered in the apartment garden. "what made you decide you wanted your tattoos?" she says softly, letting her fingers trace against his arm a bit. she only had a few smaller ones herself like the one on her wrist of alfie with pixie wings and his name at the bottom, and then some other random tiny ones, they were nothing compared to his art.

[nitewrighter]

Should Have Brought the Cat Ears

Wanted to do a quick fankid Special for Halloween in the spirit of the season. Jaime wasn’t in last year’s special, so he gets a spotlight this year!!!

---

“You don’t like it?” McCree tilted his head as they both stood over the plastic armor and replica blaster laid out on Jaime’s bed.

“It’s not that I don’t like it---” Jaime started.

“If you don’t like it, it’s fine, I’m really not trying to guilt you---”

“Just--don’t you think I’m a little... old for this sort of thing?” said Jaime. He caught himself and looked between his adoptive fathers, McCree donning ripped flannel, yellow contacts, and wolf ears and Hanzo in a more clean-cut Vampire costume. Jaime tried to recover. “I just--I was never really big on Halloween. Not really a dress-up guy.”

“It’s not that costume-y--It’s cool--” McCree gave a glance to Hanzo, “I mean--it’s cool, right?” McCree pressed his fingertips to his forehead, “Oh god I’m old.”

‘You’re not old,” Hanzo said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s Dranek Fang from They Came Beyond The Moon 5: Moonpunchers! I mean what’s not cool about a space bounty hunter?” said McCree, gesturing back at the costume. His face dropped. “It’s weird because I bought it, isn’t it?”

“Little bit,” said Jaime.

“Well you weren’t buying a costume, and if you’re going to the party---”

“Come on, everyone there’s like...practically 20 or whatever. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be all cutesy bobbing for apples and stuff.”

“If you’re not going to wear the costume can you at least wear the safety cat ears?” said McCree.

“The safety what?” said Jaime.

Hanzo held up a pair of cat ears, “These cat ears were first gifted to me by your Uncle Genji during my first Halloween on the watchpoint--”

“Why do the cat ears have lore--” Jaime started.

“For the express purpose of, quote, ‘Not looking like a standoffish stick-in-the-mud at a costume party,’” Hanzo finished.

“I don’t need the cat ears,” Jaime said flatly.

“You’re gonna want the cat ears,” said McCree.

“I don’t want the cat ears,” said Jaime.

“He doesn’t want the cat ears,” said Hanzo.

McCree inhaled and exhaled, clearly trying hard not to take the rejection of the costume personally, and also possibly at war with himself with regards to whether or not he had any concept of what ‘cool’ was anymore. “All right. It’s cool. It’s cool. You don’t have to wear a costume. You don’t have to bring the cat ears.”

“Thank you,” said Jaime. 

---

“I should have brought the cat ears,” Jaime muttered to himself.

“What was that?” Rei was standing in the doorway to the watchpoint hangar, dressed in a purple grecian gown with runny black mascara and a flower crown of wine-colored peonies. The costume actually went very well with her dark hair and the gray-white streak at her temple.

“Nothing,” muttered Jaime, moving past Rei, “What are you supposed to be?”

“Persephone!” said Rei with a dramatic flourish, “Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld!”

“That’s... specific...” said Jaime, walking into the hangar. It was fully decorated for halloween, with Hard-light ghosts swaying from the ceiling and orange fairy lights strung up everywhere. Dry ice fog seeped out from over the two punch bowls. It was a bigger party than expected. Those in attendance aside from the Watchpoint kids were a couple of younger Shambali acolytes--both human and omnic, a veritable swarm of Lindholm grandkids, Mei’s intern Harper Khiang (Who, surprisingly was in some sort of form-fitting anime costume rather than a bee costume) and a few of her friends from Lijiang, and the Oxton triplets had flown in from London only to be off in their triplet clique as usual. There was music playing and a handful were noncommittally dancing, and everyone, everyone, everyone was in costumes. 

“You’re gonna want the cat ears,” Jaime remembered McCree’s voice and felt an extra sting of regret.

“You made it!” Aedan sidled up alongside the two of them as they entered, carrying two cups of bright red punch and handing one of the cups off to Rei, “We were scared you weren’t going to come.”

Jaime’s eyes flicked up and down Aedan’s costume: The black toga, the dark circles under his eyes, the laurel-like headdress that looked like thorny withered twigs painted gold. “Seriously?” said Jaime.

“Hades,” Rei said in an even deeper, more dramatic voice, “King of the--”

“Yeah. I put it together,” said Jaime, looking between them, “Really? A couple’s costume? You don’t think that’s corny?”

“I kind of like it,” said Aedan, glancing down at himself, “I feel... powerful.”

Jaime snorted. “She should be Hades, and you should be Persephone.”

“I think I make a good Hades,” muttered Aedan.

“Which one of you has the completely unhinged mother?” said Jaime.

Aedan glanced off and sipped his punch.

“No no, it fits, because Persephone definitely kicks more butt than Hades,” said Rei, “She’s more vengeful and stuff.”

“This conversation is doing wonders for my self-esteem,” said Aedan flatly.

“Could be worse,” said Rei, pushing into him with her shoulder, affectionately, “We could be furries.”

“For the last time, I’m a sexy leopard! Not a furry!” Marti called from the punch table.

“The fact that you say a leopard can be sexy lends credence to the furry theory,” said Aedan. 

“Call me a furry again and I’m putting my drag queen acrylics to good use,” said Marti, making a clawing motion with her long sparkly black and gold nails.

“Come on, Lord of the Underworld,” said Rei, hooking her arm in Aedan’s and dragging him off, “Let’s go dance.”

“Try the punch!” Aedan called to Jaime as Rei pulled him over to the dance floor.

Jaime huffed and walked over to the punch bowl, where Marti was poking at a small hard-light goblin that loomed over a bowl of snack mix and was programmed to harmlessly swipe at whoever was grabbing the mix.

“Would have thought you would be at a cool party,” said Jaime, filling up his own cup with punch. There were two punch bowls--alcoholic and non-alcoholic. Jaime opted for the former.

“This is the cool party,” said Marti, wrinkling her nose at him. Despite picking a fairly generic costume, even she had gone all out with a pretty high quality bodysuit, perming her hair into a curly mane with two small buns wrapped in gold ribbon at the front serving as her ‘ears,’ thick winged eyeliner, and, as she had clawed with earlier, impeccable acrylic nails, “So I’m guessing your costume is... very fresh zombie?”

“Har-har,” said Jaime, sipping his punch. It tasted like a complicated combination of apple, pomegranate, cranberry and ginger ale, with a light caramel undertone of whiskey, so he assumed Aedan made it. It was enough to loosen him up a little bit, but not enough to stop his hyperawareness of being the only one without a costume, “I don’t see why costumes are such a big deal.”

“Well they don’t have to be,” said Marti.

“Exactly!” said Jaime.

“But it’s nice to see what everyone picks. Kind of reflects what they’re interested in, where their minds are at.”

“Your mind is at ‘Sexy cat?’” said Jaime.

“My mind is at, ‘I’m always bogged down in black-ops gear, so it’s nice to be a little flashy, but I don’t like being the center of attention, but I might as well look good for anyone who’s looking at me,’” said Marti.

Jaime glanced at Aedan and Rei out on the dancefloor. “...fuck, they picked the death gods because they nearly died, didn’t they?”

“They basically did die. Can’t say they don’t have a sense of humor,” said Marti, sipping her own punch.

Jaime leaned against the snack table folding his arms. “Where are the twins?” he asked, looking around.

“You mean where’s Samir?” said Marti, smiling a little. Jaime scoffed and glanced off.

“I feel like I would have seen them already. They always put glowy doodads on their costumes,” said Jaime.

“See? You want to see what their costumes are!” said Marti, “Why are you down on dressing up yourself?”

Jaime shrugged. “Just... either never really had the chance to, or when I did have the chance I couldn’t decide, and then when the day finally came I’d always feel stupid if I was dressed up.”

Marti gave his arm a sympathetic pat.

The music stopped and the lights suddenly dimmed and Jaime looked over to Marti to make sure this was planned, or to ask if they should check in with Orisa or Satya for a potential breach, but Marti just calmly sipped her punch as a bright blue teleporter opened in the middle of the dance floor. A brief hush fell over the crowd on the dance floor, looking at the teleporter, when suddenly a bulky, heroic-looking gleaming white and blue mech suit (a normal, human-sized mech suit, but still a mech suit) stepped through. The mech suit struck a pose as the music suddenly kicked back on again. Jaime glanced over to see that Harper had hurried over to the DJ table to turn the music back on. The mech suit danced and Rei and the others laughed and clapped and cheered as the mech suit shimmied and bounced. Then another (also normal, human-sized) mech suit stepped out of the teleporter. This one was clearly meant to be the villain, with sharp acute angles all over its frame, broad sharp shoulders and a cinched waist, long claws on its gauntlets, a dark iridescent color scheme, and glowing red eyes. The teleporter closed behind him.

“Oh no! Look out behind you!” Harper called out theatrically from the DJ’s table.

The bulkier mech suit had barely turned around when it got blasted by what looked like a laser beam from the ‘evil’ mech, but turned out to be completely fine. The mechs mock-battled with blunted, hard-light swords for a few seconds before, with one spectacular simultaneous upward slash, both dematerialized the other’s helmet, revealing the Amari twins--Rajeev the hero mech, and Samir the villain mech. The dance floor clapped, Marti snickered and did her best to clap with a punch cup in one hand.

“...they don’t usually go all out like that,” said Jaime, “Do they?”

“This is the most people we’ve had in our generation on the watchpoint in years,” said Marti, “They wanted to do something special.”

“Oh... I see,” said Jaime, watching as Samir conversed with Rei and Aedan as Rajeev pretty much tackled Harper and swung her around, “This night is just engineered to make me feel like more and more of an asshole for not wearing a costume, huh?” said Jaime sipping his punch.

“We aren’t doing this to you,” said Marti, “I mean we’re still on the watchpoint. Maybe you can run back to your place and---”

“Hey,” said Samir, walking over and Jaime choked on his punch.

“Hey!” said Jaime, attempting to nonchalantly lean back against the table and awkwardly scooting it back as he did so.

“Fearless leader,” Samir gave a nod to Marti.

“Nope,” said Marti, “No fearless leader tonight. Tonight, there is only sexy leopard getting increasingly wasted on Halloween punch.”

“It’s good to see sexy leopard,” said Samir.

“It’s good to be sexy leopard,” said Marti, tossing her empty cup away, “Anyway, I’m going to go try and burn some of Aedan’s banshee booze off. Don’t get into trouble.”

“Yeah sure--” Jaime started before it hit him that Marti was leaving them to hit the dance floor. 

“I uh--I like the whole...” Jaime gestured up and down at Samir’s costume.

“It was Rajeev’s idea,” said Samir with a grin, “Can you tell?”

“Yeah. Definitely,” said Jaime, “You pull it off though.”

“It’s all hard-light,” said Samir, looking down at himself as he filled his own cup with the non-alcoholic punch, “Like, honestly I’m just in a unitard under this.”

“Well yeah, but it’s like... good,” said Jaime.

“Thank you,” said Samir, “I actually..” he chuckled, “I spent like, a stupid amount of time on this.” 

“Why?” the question fell out of Jaime.

“It was nice to make something out of Hard-light that didn’t have anything to do with a mission. I got into it,” said Samir.

“You also gave yourself heels,” said Jaime, looking down.

Samir motioned with his hand and the soles of his boots dematerialized down to his regular height. He still stood a solid four inches over Jaime.

“...Ass,” said Jaime as Samir re-materialized the soles of his boots.

“Happy Halloween to you too,” said Samir as they both sipped their drinks and looked out at the dance floor. They watched as Rajeev hoisted up a laughing Harper amid the din of the music. Harper’s form-fitting costume suddenly made a lot more sense with Rajeev right next to her.

“Oh I get it--she’s a mech pilot and he’s---” Jaime huffed, “Fucking couple’s costumes.”

“Hey, Rajeev and I are still doing twin costumes--what does that tell you about us?” said Samir.

“That like... you can actually make the twin costume thing really cool if you put some thought into it?” said Jaime.

“No--Well, I mean, yes,” said Samir, “But my point is the whole night is about not taking yourself too seriously.”

“Mm,” said Jaime.

They watched the dance floor for a little bit. Samir grabbed a handful of snacks from the snackbowl and gave a small jump as the hard-light goblin suddenly swiped at him as he did so.

“You’re not going to bring up the whole ‘Where’s your costume’ thing?” said Jaime after a while.

“Some people don’t have time for it, some people aren’t comfortable with it, it’s not a big deal,” said Samir, shrugging.

“...Thanks,” said Jaime. He looked out at the dance floor. “Though...honestly, at this point I kind of wish I did dress up.”

“Oh--psh. I can fix that. Here--” Samir stepped in front of him and pressed something at his wrist, activating the hard-light projector before putting his hands above Jaime’s head. Jaime reddened and sipped his drink and attempted to be as nonchalant as possible about feeling Samir’s fingers against his hair. There was a soft ‘vworp’ sound and Jaime felt a soft pressure on two points on his head and Samir drew his hands back.  “There we go,” said Samir.

Jaime reached up and felt at his head, feeling two pointed shapes.

“...Cat ears?” said Jaime.

“I like cats. They’re the simplest ones I can make. If you don’t like them I could make like... horns--I could probably make antlers if I had a couple minutes--”

“No. I like them,” said Jaime instantly, “They’re perfect. I’m a cat.”

“A sexy cat,” said Samir with a finger gun. As coolheaded as Samir could be, there were definitely moments where you could tell, well beyond looks, that he was Rajeev’s identical twin.

Jaime snorted and looked down at his clothes, “What about this says ‘sexy cat?’”

“The fact that it’s you in cat ears?” said Samir.

Jaime scoffed and snickered. “That’s bad,” he said.

“Yeah I know,” said Samir, hooking Jaime’s arm in his and pulling him away from the punch table, “Come on, let’s dance.”

[alias-b]

Without The Lights~ Billy Hargrove x OC Camille Harper

Chapter 7: Every Breath You Take

A/N: The Snow Ball was so much fun to write. :) Camille hands Billy his ass this chapter after he fucked up at the Byers’ House. I stan a queen. Also rereading Hopper’s first impression of Billy is basically “who the f* is this ugly dumbass?” and it still kills me

  The party came back together again in the shambles of Joyce’s yard. Thankful words and hugs were shared between them. They took soft beats to relax again. To appreciate the gifts of life and friendship.

  “Uh, who the hell is this drooling kid in the Camaro?” Hopper broke the moment when he peered into the car to see Billy with his mouth open, still passed out in back. "Was he even here before? Am I losing track of you guys already?"

  “That’s the new Keg King, Chief.” Steve began, touching his cut lip. “All hail.”

  “My stupid brother.” Max shrugged, gesturing to Camille. “Her stupid boyfriend.”

  “Not even close.” Camille decided, draping Billy’s jacket over his torso as if to tuck him in there. “He attacked us looking for Max. We kind of had to…maybe drug him. Just a little. He’ll be fine. Don't even worry.”

  “You, what?” Jim spun on his heel so Camille touched his arm.

  “Just a little bit. He is... He was a friend and he...lost it. Also, he knows…some stuff. About me.” She clasped her hands to shrug with innocence. "He won't say anything, I'll make sure."

  “Another squirrely kid I get to keep quiet.” Jim grumbled, shutting the door to leave Billy there snoring. “Hawkins lab is finished. In this town, at least.”

  “Jonathan and I made sure of that.” Nancy came forward. Joyce and Jonathan were holding Will between them, wrapped up in blankets on the steps. His friends crowded.

  “And my mother?” Camille lifted her eyes.

  “We can get you out of there.” Jim nodded but, instead she frowned. He realized it then. Camille noted he seemed truly disappointed. “You’re going back.”

  “I have to go back. I have to finish this part. My father is dead. Hawkins lab will be gone. Mostly. Gate’s closed. I’m not leaving that house until I have everything I need. I don’t think it’s safe still. Just as you said, I can’t make waves. I have to pretend. Have to go along with whatever half-baked story we have now.” She was stern. “It’s going to crush her. My mom. Fake mom. There are people out there who could come after us still. I have to play house. If I'm unaware, they might think they're safe. Experiment can continue. Just a bit longer.” Camille held herself and Hopper dropped his hand when she went around him. “I’d like to know you better, El.” The little girl reached to take her wrist, nodding. They went up the steps into the house together to begin sharing.

** ** **

  “Still asleep back there?” Camille drove Billy’s car up to a cliff overlooking Hawkins. The sun would rise soon. A brand new day. A brave new world. Max turned and nodded. Steve drove his own car behind them.

  “He’s out but…moving.” Max looked up, buckled in next to her. “Sorry.”

  “Not your fault.” Camille stopped the car and turned to get into the back. "Billy." She shook him, rousing him further. Billy hitched a moan, eyes glazed when they opened. His head and neck both ached something awful. Camille was in his blurry line of sight. Soft again. Face cleaned. She took the time to wipe drool and blood from his chin with an old t-shirt on the seat.

  "C-Cam...ille." His tongue slurred, trying to function.

  “Hey, you.” She'd eased. Steve’s car came up along side them to park. Billy saw her clearly and gave a jerk, lifting his now bound hands.

  "The fuck?" He'd mouthed.

  "Don't worry about those, sit still for a sec so we can talk. You attacked us. Do you remember everything? Don't lie.” His bright eyes darted across her face. “Nod.”

  “Yes.” The tone scratched. Eyes huge. He tried to take in the surroundings all at once, licking his lips to wet them. “Untie me.”

  “I have something to say to you first. Few things I just need you to hear.” Camille brought her legs up to the seat, arm propped by his head. Delicate fingers tucked a loose curl from his temple. “You look nice. Devil's pride nice. The cologne is to die for. You know, I had a whole outfit planned. I think you would have liked it too." She sounded wistful. "First, you’re not going to talk about anything you saw. There are people out there who will kill us. They'll come for you too if you make a mess. Nod.”

  “Camille.” Billy squirmed in the seat belt.

  “Nod.” She ordered again so he did. Max watched from the front seat.

  “Second. You’re…You are not a good person, Billy.” She saw him glance away, groaning before he tried to sit up. Her finger tipped his chin so he was looking at her eyes again. “Maybe I’m not either some days. What you’ve done is…disgusting. You disgust me. What you did tonight. Attacking Steve and…Lucas. A child. Don’t think I also didn’t notice how you targeted a young boy with dark skin. You probably didn’t realize that at all too but we did. Interesting how parents rub off on us without us realizing it until we're spitting their venom.”

  “It’s not like that. They-”

  “Not like that? I'm sure. Do you think it matters? Intentions? We notice shit. And now you know because your greedy Jew whore told you. As if I haven’t gotten that ever. Do you really want to look back and remember how your father’s words sounded coming out of you’re mouth? How they tasted? I know you, Billy. Well enough. He is awful to you and I know you’re in so much pain. But, to use that to cause pain to others. That ugly shit doesn't fly. Life is a god damn pain and there are people out there hellbent on making it worse. I'm not sure why you're fine being one of them.”

  “Please-” His eyes crushed shut, teeth clenched.

  “But, I know there is a little girl in that house that needs protection too and you could give her what your father never gave you. Do you realize that? That’s a chance you wasted.” Camille gestured to Max. “You both could spit Neil’s terrible words back in his face by being better. You think Max would let you do that alone if you tried just once to love her? Tried to be a brother. Didn't bother to try. You’re gorgeous but now…I see you. I see you for what you are.” Billy let tears fall. Just a few. Exhausted. Teetering. Torn to shreds. Utterly wounded. Camille was gentle when she wiped them. Harsh and truthful. Unworried. Explicitly tender to break through Neil's rough conditioning.

  “I-”

  “You know, I watched my father die tonight and…what’s terrifying is that I’m most upset about all the things I never got to say. The answers he took with him. The fact that there had to be something flickering in him that loved me back and it wasn’t enough. This father who chased my monsters away turned out to be one himself. He hoarded me from them to keep me all for him. I was a beloved family hamster in a wheel and I'm fucking done with it all. But, the loss of my father. I know that I’ll live. The fact that I let him die…I think I’ll forgive myself for that too. Little by little.” Camille's eyes welled and he just watched her expression. Impossibly still.

  “Billy…” Max sighed then. “I know you miss your mom. And California. And everything. You think I don’t miss it too? You think I want to see my mom cower from him? She can’t replace your mom but she can care about you. I just… I miss it all. I hate it. I hate it but, I don’t hate you. You're an asshole but, I don't hate you. I’m angry too, you know. I can’t…fix any of it.” Billy’s eyes slid to her carefully then panned to focus on Camille.

  “I know what I said. You are not a good person, Billy Hargrove. You are a bully. You’re lost. You’re abusive and too damn young and above all that shit, you are better than that. You're a fucking asshole but, I'm telling you right now that you can be better. Maybe Neil neglected that fact. But, is being him and completing the cycle the future you want? I think you just needed to hear it. From a friend. You want to waste that, it's no one's fault but your own. But, right now, the only thing I can give you is pity. Nothing else. It’s on you. Awful or not, you can still do good things. Maybe they won’t forgive you in a million years but you can still do good things despite it. Scariest thing about humans, I think. A choice like that in a world so fucking messed up. I just want to be brave and be happy again. With some help from my friends, I think I can do that. But, you know, we’re just kids still…we have a lot of time to grow and I don’t want to waste it anymore. I truly wish that you don’t either one day. People are liars and bullies…and some grow out of it. Maybe you’ll try. It’s on your shoulders and…I hated myself once and I was a damn bitch and a coward but…I think I’m going to keep trying to be more that that. I hope it works out for both of us. Goodbye, Billy. See you around school.”

  “Let’s go.” Max opened the door when Camille cut Billy’s ropes and dropped his keys in his hand.

  "That's all I had to say." Camille shrugged and slid to leave.

  “I can’t…” Billy lowered his head, near silent. “I can’t go home without Max.”

  “Steve and I will take her home. She already called to check in. Covered for you too. Because she’s a good sister. You can follow us. I just don’t think she’s safe to be with you right now. Change our mind.” Camille watched his face, those trembling lips, before she got out to get into Steve’s car. They drove back in silence. Camille opened the door to hug Max tight when Billy emerged to park. She turned to go but he stopped her quietly.

  “Camille.” He tried not to beg. Voice grounded and low. “Let me show you something before you leave.” She debated it and nodded to Steve, turning. Max raced up the steps to go in first, hurrying to see her parents in their room. Camille clasped her hands and Billy walked her down the hall in silence. Didn't try to touch her or invade her space.

  “This was for you. Had to ask the guy which one it was. Stupid thing is dying already.” A pink peony. Beginning to wilt. Two fingers offered it so she took it from him, nodding.

  "They do that when they're cut from their home." She began, eyes trained on his when she touched the soft petals to her nose and lips to inhale. "Little attention and care though, they can make it farther. You stop dragging your feet and put in the work."

  “One more thing. I lied to you.”

  “About?” She watched him lift his mattress and pull an old, tattered photo out. Tentative, he entered her space to show her. A woman in a long sundress grinning with a young boy next to her. He had a toothy smile and surfboard in hand. The beach behind them was full and gorgeous. His mother. “She’s very beautiful. You have her eyes.” Camille lifted her gaze and he nodded, voice hushed and honest. “You look happy.”

  “I was.” He took it back when she extended it out, thumb tracing the corner. Something to show them both it was obtainable. She hesitated and offered the truth with a great belief that resonated.

  “It’s possible, I think, to get there again.” Camille touched his face and Billy let his eyes close. That too soft grain of compassion heated his skin.

  “I won’t say anything.” He whispered, sighing as she slipped away from him. Too far away.

  “Take care of Max. Take care of each other. Own your shit... And tell my friend that I miss him.” Camille paused again when he pulled his saint pendant off to offer it. “I can’t. It’s your mother’s necklace.”

  “Just watch it for your friend... Until he gets back,” Billy slipped it over her head, shifting hair aside. There it was reciprocated in one tiny flicker. Hope. She stared at him so he spoke. “Goodbye, Camille.”

  “Good luck, Billy.” Camille left the house and got into Steve’s car.

  “You okay?” He touched her shoulder while she looked outside at the brightening sky.

  “Yes.” Camille exhaled. Not red. Not at all. “Let’s go.”

** ** **

  “I can’t let you do this.” Jim Hopper shook his head.

  “She was my mother once.” Camille replied. His Blazer pulled up to her house, flocked by police cars. “We can’t do anything else. I have to be oblivious. Until it’s safe again. We went over the story several times, I got this. She won't know.”

  “I’ll watch over you, all right? You need anything, you call me first.” Camille welled up and took off her seat belt to hug him. A man who also lost too much and who was trying to make things better for a girl he barely knew in truth.

  “I’d like to see El more when I can.”

  “I’ll try to make that happen.” He followed her out and up the steps.

  “Camille! Camille!” Her sobbing mother raced outside, pushing officers aside to hold her. Camille didn’t want to crumble. Yet, it happened. She needed a mother right now. “Oh, god. Oh, my god. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t there. I will be.”

  “I know… I know.” Camille cried it out, fingers scrunching up her mom’s dress. "And Daddy..."

  "Hush, I have you. I'm so sorry, baby."

  "Milly, thank god." Edna approached and Rosemary hissed.

  “You’re fired. Leave us.”

  “You cannot do that.” Edna, for the first time, looked deadly. Cold. Camille peered to meet her eyes. Sink. “Mrs. Harper, this is not over. We both know that.”

  “It is,” Rosemary led Camille into their house, rubbing her back and cooing to calm her. “You’re all mine now, my sweet. It’s over, baby. It’s all over now.”

  Camille knew better.

** ** **

  “They boarded the whole place up today,” Nancy poked at her lunch a week later. Life continued. Mostly. Camille was met with students sorry for her loss. Hawkins Lab grasped some of the blame it was owed. School picked up again. Her mother was home almost every night for dinner. Almost. Mourning her husband even still. Her own work and grief pulled. Unknowing that Camille found out the truth. She played the part. Good daughter. “And Barb’s parents…they’re holding a funeral.”

  “I’ll be there,” Camille nodded. “How’s Mike?”

  “Frustrated. Wanting to see El again. Hopper said to give it time.” Nancy smiled when Jonathan sat down and Steve joined the table with him. “Heard that you and Dustin are best buds.”

  “I keep good company.” Steve was wistful. Accepting. A good person. “Taking him to the damn Snow Ball in style.”

  “Nancy, Jonathan, and I are all volunteering for that.” Camille smiled, she ate a meal with her friends. Queen Bee again. Freak. Camille. Lunch ended and they scattered, Camille caught up with Nancy at the door. “Want to go to the movies tomorrow?” She took her hand.

  “I’d like that.” Nancy grinned this time. Friends again. Camille missed this part most. Billy barely said two words to her when school life resumed. Leaving a space between them. Not like a gaping, endless pit. More like a cool moving river. She watched him give Max rides and scurry to class.

  They minced few syllables in chemistry, he stuck his nose elsewhere and she didn’t pry. One occasion, Billy dug into his empty bag for a pencil and Camille slid one over as if it were a peace offering. His hand slipped to take it. No words followed. She only ever spoke during labs they had to do. Aloof and even. No energy to be spent and wasted. Billy took to following her lead. A new position for him. Quiet as he did. Careful not to shatter the cracked and mending glass. He avoided Max’s space at home too. Leaving the room when she entered on occasion. Distance was better for him. So he told himself. Susan found him curled up in his room on a Saturday and he didn’t bark at her for once.

  “Max left for her friends.” She began and he sniffled. Footsteps crept closer to his bed. "It's Saturday...you're not going out?"

  “Leave me alone.” He begged instead, face muffled into a pillow. Tone changed. “Don’t tell him.”

  “I won’t.” Susan reached to touch Billy’s hair. The first time she’d ever reached out for him. He whimpered so she pulled away. “I’m making breakfast now. Omelets. Green peppers. You should come eat something, Billy. I could bring you a plate.” His head lifted at that. His favorite. She went out of her way for him.

  “Okay.” He was barely audible. She was trying. He decided to try too. When it didn't bleed, Billy let himself relax.

  “Haven’t seen that pretty girl in a while.” Susan turned. “Camille was sweet.” Billy turned his eyes, sighing out before he wiped his face. “Neil…he…he can’t say much if she comes over as a tutor instead of a friend. Just a thought.”

  “I’m not like him.” Billy paused and the realization brought him to a complete halt. “I don’t want to be.”

  “Then don’t be.” She was careful.

  “What he thinks about certain people. I don’t think that. I don’t. I didn’t…know. Fuck.” Billy clenched with tears, pressing the pillow closer while he faced the wall still so she wouldn’t see him. “Do I? Dad wants me to be... But, I'm so fucking...tired. I hurt people. I hurt Camille. She... What if I’m already like him and I can’t…I can’t fix it.”

  “Do you think he ever stayed in on a Saturday and stopped to ask himself these questions?” Susan was honest at last and Billy felt his heart give a great shudder. There was a beat.

  “I’m sorry, Susan.” His simple, raw words stilled her entire world. “Bout…my dad...and me.”

  “You can give Max a ride to the Snow Ball.” She replied, earning a nod. “Thank you, Billy.”

** ** **

  “Hey, Harper!” Chief Hopper pulled up to the school before Camille could get into her car. One month later. Time didn’t heal all wounds but it was a start.

  “Am I in trouble, Chief?” She approached with a grin.

  “Maybe,” he chuckled. “Need a favor. I have an address and I need you to bring some items to it in the next two hours. I’d appreciate it.”

  “Oh, you have a mission for me?” Camille clasped her hands.

  “Your biggest one yet.” Jim beckoned her to the window. Camille raced down the road an hour later. Dressed to help at the dance. Excited, she tapped the steering wheel. Snow trickled down in little flurries, barely sticking. She thought of her mother. Holidays to be spent alone this year. Her father was buried. Rosemary still played the game of house and Camille with her. She never broke down. Not once. When would the right time emerge? Still, she was contented to be with her friends. Pulling up to a cabin, she got out and craned her next. Eleven ran down the steps in flannel with Jim behind her. They hugged and she pulled back.

  “I missed you.” Camille came to her level. “I may have brought too much.”

  “What the hell…” Jim watched her heave a whole trunk from the backseat. “Seriously?”

  “Girls like options, Jim.”

  “Yeah, we like options,” El agreed and he rubbed his face. Camille lifted her hand, teetering before the trunk came up. Eleven helped, arm out and they beamed.

  “Okay, cool it with that.” Hopper followed them back in. El opened the trunk to see clothing. Nothing she’d ever worn.

  “Old stuff. Should fit her, I was about her size at that age.” Camille smiled. “Hair first then makeup. Ready?” Eleven grinned now. Sister. A long lost sister.

  “Yes.”

** ** **

  Sparkling lights played off the winter decorations. Music echoed into the auditorium while awkward children roamed. Camille poured punch with Nancy, setting cups upon the table. Across from them, Jonathan took photos, waving at the two girls.

  “Want to come over for our Christmas dinner? The boys and Max are going to bring toys that night, play some D&D. Mom has like twenty desserts planned.”

  “We could dust off some old costumes.” Camille giggled. “I’ll convince Hopper to bring El over.”

  “How’s Rosemary?”

  “Sad. Still working by force. It’s just us now. We care for the house and…it feels normal. No one came for me. Not yet. I can’t…read her all the time.” She sighed. “Hopper offered me a place when…if things go sour. I know it’ll come out one day. I think I’m looking for something first. Something inside her. Just to see if it’s there. Can't find it in dad anymore after what I did. She knew where I came from. She knew and had a huge part in it. She tried to make amends. Even if it was sick. And if I make noise…”

  “I hope you find it. Whatever you need.” Nancy offered. Across from them, Dustin entered with a style dressed similar to Steve’s. Hair and all. “Oh, my god.”

  “Aw, can we keep him?” Camille touched her heart. “Precious thing.”

  “Ladies,” Dustin passed.

  “Hey,” Nancy spoke as he went to greet Mike and them.

  “Max,” Camille stopped to hug her. “Pants? How edgy of you.”

  “Mom did this to my hair,” she grumbled.

  “You look great. Promise. How are things?”

  “Quieter.” Max nodded, eyes brightening. “Nice.”

  “Good,” Camille gestured. “I won’t keep you, go have fun.” Max hurried away and they poured more punch. Fixed up the table. Enjoyed the night. Another song started and couples came together. Max and Lucas joined them. “Remember when it was that easy, Nance?”

  “Was it ever?”

  “I try to think it was,” she joked. “Uh, oh, check my three o’clock. Boy down. Mayday.” They watched Dustin try to ask girls to dance and get brushed off. He looked crestfallen. “I’m going in, cover me.” Camille followed Dustin to the bleachers while he sniffled. “Hey, Dusty.”

  “Cam…Camille,” he hurried to wipe his face and she sat down. The most popular girl in her school smiled at him. Other kids took note.

  “Not giving up already, are you?”

  “Ngh…no.”

  “Good, because the Dustin I know faces all frights head on. Especially when one of the party needs assistance.” She crossed her arms over her knees and nudged him with her shoulder, he brightened just a little at that. “A very wise kid taught me that after he roped me into monster hunting. I used to help babysit him.” She kissed his cheek, earning a smile and Nancy paced over.

  “Wanna dance?” She put her hand out.

  “Uh, Nance, I’m talking with Dusty here.”

  “Snooze, you lose, Cam.” Nancy took Dustin away and Camille laughed after them, shaking her head before she stood up and watched the couples move. Heels clicked while she made her way back only for Max to stop her, hand in Lucas’s.

  “By the way,” she began, “he’s outside.” Camille turned, arms crossing. “Just in case you needed that information.” Max pressed a sort of half smile and went back to the floor. Another song bloomed when she decided and headed out. Eleven appeared at the same time, nervous and looking around.

  “You look amazing,” Camille touched her shoulder. “Own it, it’s your night.” Eleven spotted Mike standing and crossed over to see him. Heading outside, the air chilled when Camille saw Joyce and Hopper waiting together.

  “Ms. Harper. Up to no good?” The Chief regarded her.

  “Me? Never.” She batted her lashes and smiled at Joyce. “They’re having fun in there.”

  “They needed it.” She agreed.

  “I hope you’re well too.”

  “Thank you, Camille. You take care.”

  “Just where are you headed?” Hopper added, lighting up a cigarette.

  “Oh, I…” The teen regarded them. “I was just…uh, going for a walk. There are way too many hairspray fumes in there. Not good for the brain. Why are you two here, huh?"

  "Just friends." Hopper was too quick.

  "Right…so…bye now and mind your business, Chief.” Camille smirked and Jim scoffed with amusement. She hurried off before they could question it further, rubbing her arms for warmth. Camille spotted that familiar blue Camaro up the hill, parked off to the side under the stars. Billy took some time to look at them, half seated on the hood with a cigarette between two fingers.

  “Look nice, do they? Finally taking the time to see them.” She watched him snap to focus on her. Blue eyes awed and looking her up and down once. Lips parted to mouth her name, too scared to offer it to the cool night air. A beat lingered.

  “Harpy. You clean up nice. Devil's pride nice.” He didn’t move an inch more so she paced around the car toward him, standing a few feet away. Pretenses lowered.

  “You feel like sharing that?” She shrugged and he flicked ashes aside, lifting his hand to offer it. No interest in going home as usual. The company was well received. Camille joined him against the hood, smoke slipped from her lips. Billy stared for a quiet moment when she instead looked up at the sky. A slight hum of contemplation sounded. She exhaled and gave a soft shudder against the cold weather. "Not a bad view from manure land. Not one bit." Billy agreed with that, eyes direct on her. Shifting, he shrugged off his jacket. That brown leather bomber she loved. Camille offered him the smoke back so he put it between his teeth and helped her into the coat. Music was still echoing soft in the distance. “You know, I got a strange call from a concerned stepmother a few days ago.”

  “What?” Smoke billowed out soft lips.

  “Had a few things to say. Good things. Hopeful things.” Camille took the cigarette again to inhale. Her nerves subsided. Billy studied her face and panned to see the stars again. “Nothing red in sight today, huh?” Silent, he agreed again, finishing the last drag before crushing it under his boot.

  “What did she tell you?” He puffed slower.

  “That you’re still angry a lot. Naturally. And sad. And quiet. Extremely quiet. That you take Max to the arcade almost every day when needed and you pick her up. That a mysterious new skateboard appeared in Max’s room…"

  "This fucking asshole ran over the old one with a Camaro."

  "I'm sure... She also mentioned that green peppers solve just about everything.” She chuckled and Billy turned his head when his lip quirked. “That you avoid Max but you don’t lash out like you used to. That Neil hasn't stopped despite it all. And when your Camaro had a recent engine problem, your sister was out there silently passing you tools to fix it. You let her do that. Progress. Always happens in small bouts if we stop to notice them. She also invited me to dinner Wednesday. Said your dad would be working late.”

  “Haven’t heard that one.” He lifted his eyes.

  “You’re having pot roast.” Susan was not his mother. But, she cared.

  “She always burns the damn edges,” he joked, softening. Camille shifted to brace her hand back and covered his.

  “I want to try something.” These syllables always brought stillness to his world. She tugged once without fear and he stood up with her. Camille guided his hands to her waist, shifting to touch his shoulders.

  “Never been to a school dance. Just hit the parties after.”

  “Smart. And it’s easy,” she watched his eyes flicker to the pendant hanging from her neck. Gentle hands clasped behind his shoulders and she swayed to the music in the distance, bringing him with her. “You haven’t lived until Hawkins High prom season starts.”

  “Think this year will hurt your chances as prom queen when we’re seniors?” He cocked his head as they turned and she shrugged. Glowing. Beautiful.

  “Ah, I guess we’ll see.” Camille watched his eyes, something connected again. Small but still there. Billy swayed closer until her head came to his collar. Two hands laced. Her arm went around his shoulders and he slipped one hand along the small of her back. The dance continued. Perfume invaded his senses so he closed his eyes. “I really did miss my friend, you know? Tell him that again for me.” Friend. Billy felt himself smile. Only slight. This amazing chance she'd offered without fear or anguish would not be wasted.

  “I’ll let him know,” he nudged his head into her own. There it was again. The pull that things might turn out fine. Or something close to it. The belief that they both deserved better here. The song ended for another and they stayed there in place. Camille inhaled and came up to see his blue eyes in the moonlight.

  “I have to get back.” She whispered against him, slipping away yet again. Cool and light. Hope filled the river that ran between them.

  “Keep the jacket.” He winked and she sucked in her cheeks, hugging it closer. “See you around, Harpy.” Camille shifted down the hill, spinning on her heel to see him as she went. Her luminous smile resonated.

  “Be kind to yourself, Billy.”

** ** **

  “How was the dance?” Rosemary busied with a new drawing when Camille came into her studio.

  “They had fun.” She stayed at the door until the older woman looked up.

  “Lawyer and I got your father’s affairs in order finally.” She went on. “We’ll be fine. I’ll try to be home as much as I can but with him gone…”

  “I get it,” Camille held Billy’s jacket around herself. "I'm sorry." The words just came, eyes welling.

  "About what, sweetie?"

  "Just..."

  "He loved you so much, you know. I love you, I always will. You and I will make it. We will be just fine. We have each other." Her mother pressed her lips. Camille felt guilt and shame pool. But, not all over Noah. He made his bed. She tried to tell herself that. The shame that this was not enough. That it never would be. That the reality of it all was too ugly and that ugliness could rub off on her. That the cycle was not broken.

  "Just...sorry." Camille would find what she needed another day. Her heart stilled. Tried to be brave. Rosemary looked at her eyes. There had to be something. Anything. She hadn’t kicked Camille out or given her to enemies in the distance who would love to study her.

  “We have a long supply of your medication as well.”

  “Oh?” Camille flushed them each day. “Good.”

  “Our party this year will likely not be happening. But, we can still do gifts and candles. Chinese for Christmas morning before my flight?”

  “Definitely… Nancy invited me over after. Almost everyone’s getting together. Heather went on some ski trip for winter break.”

  “I’ll be out around New Years time. Will you be alright here alone, Camille?”

  “I’m not alone.” Camille admitted, lips lifting because saying it with such conviction felt amazing. “I never was.” She turned without explaining to go up to her room for the night. Billy’s jacket hung over the vanity mirror. Her hand gripped a little crochet doll before she was lulled off to sleep.

  Hope made the world less red.

[purplesurveys]

682

what is your favorite kind of ice cream? This is in nearly every survey but uhhh cookies and cream. I also like queso real. if people could read your mind, what would they usually find? These days you’d find it almost empty, honestly. I’m nearly out of stuff to do, they’ve suspended online classes so I can’t be productive for school anyway, and I spend most of my days sleeping. In my defense it IS my way of catching up on rest after being excruciatingly burned out from January to the first few days of March, but it’s only a matter of time until I’m fully recharged again and I have to look for other ways to kill time. who do you talk to on the phone most often? My girlfriend. This question is super timely too, lmao. That’s all we can do these days. what's a song that makes you feel happy? Countdown by Beyoncé. It’s like Love on Top’s overlooked sister. what celebrity would you like to meet? Kristen Stewart or Hayley Williams, but they’re WORLDS cooler than me and I feel like I’d just unconsciously act stupid if I do meet them. 

Side note: So Paramore always calls a fan up on stage during their shows to sing Misery Business and I already have had a chance to be that fan. Usually the fans elbow each other to get to the front so Hayley has a better chance of seeing them and picking them. But knowing how much cooler Hayley is than me, I never volunteered and I was happy to stay unseen hahaha. what's the best concert you've ever been to? Paramore the second time. Coldplay was also BEAUTIFUL but it technically doesn’t count because Gabie and I watched the show from the top floor of a nearby parking lot – we weren’t actually in the concert grounds. Still a hell of an experience, though. what is your favorite clothing store? Independent stores that sell whatever fashion trends are making the rounds on Instagram is usually enough for me. H&M used to be my fave but I haven’t bought anything from there in a while. how did you meet your best friend? I met Angela in Grade 1 because our class numbers were right next to each other – I was 8 and she was 9. I met Gabie from a mutual friend. do you need money to be happy? Yes. I’m materialistic as fuck and I’m not even gonna try to hide it haha. what is something you do well? Getting kids and/or dogs to like me is one. what's a good idea you've had recently? Nothing’s really come up. This lockdown/school break hasn’t been requiring me to use my brain cells at all. what is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Fried rice, sunny side eggs, hot dogs, and bacon. Sometimes I’ll also be in the mood for tapa, which tastes heavenly at breakfast. how far in advance do you prefer to plan? It depends on what I am planning... < Pretty much. I know what I want to be doing in the next five years, but at the same time I don’t know what I plan to do in the next five days. do you like to wear high heels? I love trying them on, wearing them to events, and how I look in them; but they never seem to like me. My toes or ankle usually start bleeding by the 2nd or 3rd hour of having them on. how many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three. Four if I’m really hungry. can you remember life without technology? what was it like? Not really. I did grow up around gadgets, and before I was 4 I was already watching my cousins and uncles play the PS1. I don’t think I know of a world without technology beyond radio and TV considering I’m from Gen Z; but at the same time, it was also a time when adults were still a little wary of these new gadgets, so us kids weren’t allowed to use our Gameboys and PSPs for too long, and we were always encouraged to play outside. what gift would you like to receive? I just want a taste of outside/restaurant food again, dude. To be fair to my dad who’s a chef, he knows how to handle his ingredients and we still get to eat delicious meals despite the lockdown... but it doesn’t stop me from missing Frankie’s or Yabu.

what's the last thing you paid for? I paid for gas when I drove up to Gabie’s house like, three weekends ago. It was the last time I got to be outside before they implemented the suspension of classes. what's the last movie you watched? I think it was Titanic, when it was newly added to Netflix. do you remember your dreams? I’ll remember it sometimes, but my memory lifespan for dreams is only a couple of days. I have to write it down on my phone if it’s a dream I particularly don’t want to forget. do you play any instruments? No. I do know a couple of melodies on the piano, but I’m a phony and can’t say I genuinely know how to play the tunes – I can’t read notes, the way I position my fingers on the keys is abysmal, and I only know/memorize which keys to press because I watch YouTube covers over and over. do you always smile for pictures? Yeah. I find my neutral face super ugly so I always smile for the camera. what are you most excited about right now? I can’t say I’m excited for anything right now... it’s hard to be, with everything that’s been happening. I can’t even be excited for my own birthday next April, which might also get hit by the lockdown. if you had $5 in your pocket what would you spend it on? I’d do a quick run to a convenience store and get myself bottles of soju and mudshake to keep me company during this boring-ass break. how often do you buy things via the internet? Very seldom. I prefer spending my money on eating out. would you like to live in a different country? if so which one? Yeah absolutely, I always think of places to live in other than my own because this country really is the worst to be stuck in. I keep thinking Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. what animal would you see first if you went to the zoo? I dunno, I’ve never been to a ZOO zoo. But if I remember correctly, the ecopark we have in my high school has birds like the Philippine eagle and peacock as the first few animals you see. if you could switch places with someone for a day, who would it be? It’d be interesting to see how it feels like being Blue Ivy for even just 30 minutes lmao. do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? Window, then middle, then aisle.  what's your favorite song from a movie? Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine that got played in Twilight and Breaking Dawn. where would you like to volunteer? If I could, I’d be helping the homeless in Metro Manila affected by the lockdown at the moment and give them food and clothes, considering our national government isn’t doing jack shit to help them. would you rather go out for dinner or cook at home? Go out for dinner precisely because I can’t cook. who sent the last text message you received? It was from my service provider saying I’m out of data for the week. what's your favorite flower? Peonies. what's the last song you listened to? I Will Always Think of You, from the BoJack Horseman soundtrack. do you like being alone? There are moods that I prefer it. Tonight is one of those nights, so yes. what was the last thing you ate? Chicken wings that my dad made for dinner. how do you find new music? Spotify is amazing at making recommendations based on the songs/artists you already listen to. I also get suggestions from friends. what is your dream travel destination? Thailand, Turkey, or Greece. if you could play any instrument what would it be? The piano. what's your favorite city? Locally, Makati or Vigan. Internationally, and that I’ve been to, Bali. what's the last youtube video you watched? I was watching BuzzFeed’s Worth It series. SO good, and so rewatchable. where are you going on your next trip? I dunno if we’re planning anything because of the virus. My next vacation might already be something I fund myself, once I get a job. what are you currently addicted to? Seafood.

[courtingstars]

Notes for The Vanishing Prince, Chapter Five

All right, here we go! Chapter Five has a bunch of stuff that I’ve been looking forward to include in the series for a loooong time. There were also a few surprises that popped up when I wrote it, particularly the revelation about this moment in KnB canon:

So yeah, if you were ever wondering how or why Bokushi came up with that idea, well… I guess I made up a theory about that? //nervous laughter Fair warning, it’s probably about as disturbing as you’d expect. And on that note…

Content Warning: A brief mention of the history of Japanese ritual suicide.

Cut for rambling about Japanese monsters and ghosts, the Akashi estate in Kyoto, the Akashi family crest, and various notes related to the Akashi family’s history…

Youkai and Japanese Ghosts

I like to think that the night scene in Gion is pretty much the moment when this series transforms into a Miyazaki movie. XD There are so many interesting monsters and ghosts in Japanese legends, you could spend a lifetime learning about them! But I figured I’d give a super-quick overview of the supernatural creatures that were featured in this scene. (Also, I definitely recommend yokai.com if you would like to learn about supernatural creatures from Japanese folklore. It’s an amazing resource with a lot of great illustrations!)

Youkai are basically mythical Japanese monsters. There are also yuurei, “vengeful ghosts” who used to be humans. These spirits can exhibit different characteristics and behaviors, depending on the legend. Youkai in particular are generally thought to live in the spirit world, a sort of parallel realm that humans can’t normally see.

The spirit Furihata sees at the shrine is meant to be a kitsune, a fox spirit. (Also my favorite youkai, because they’ve got that whole mythical shape-shifting trickster vibe. //laughs) Kitsune can appear as humans, often beautiful women. Sometimes they even marry humans, and aren’t revealed to be foxes until years later. Or they may lure a human into the spirit world, only for the person to come back and find out that a really long time has passed in the world of the living while they were gone. (There’s also some interesting historical stuff about fox spirits supposedly possessing people, usually young women, but I won’t go into that here!)

The first spirits Furihata sees on the bridge are two types of one-eyed youkai. The hitotsume-nyuudou generally looks like a priest, and can sometimes shape-shift to gigantic proportions. (There are famous stories about them from the Kyoto region, which is one reason I chose to include one in this scene!) Meanwhile, the childlike hitotsume-kozou are weaker, more mischievous youkai.  They appear dressed like little boys, and often have long very tongues. Some of them also have a preference for tofu, which seemed appropriate for this fic? //laughs

The blue flames Furihata sees on the bridge are probably hitodama, which are manifestations of dead people’s souls. This is why in Japanese ghost stories, ghosts are often portrayed as having blue flames floating around them. It’s a classic ghost trope, basically, which is why Furihata is so scared when he sees them. (Even though hitodama, unlike other types of “fireball youkai,” are generally pretty harmless!)

I also briefly mentioned a few more youkai, included the famous tanuki. The female spirit in kimono with the long, stretched-out neck is a rokurokubi. Finally, while I left it pretty vague, the spirit crouching in an alleyway is meant to be a “hungry ghost” or gaki. According to Buddhist beliefs, this is the soul of a person who has been condemned to suffer in the afterlife, often by experiencing extreme hunger or thirst. Believers sometimes leave offerings of various kinds for them, to help ease their suffering.

Supposedly, youkai often appear at twilight. I’ve also read stories where they appear on or underneath a bridge, so I thought that would be a cool element to include in the scene. Kyoto is a common setting for a lot of tales about youkai, although every area of Japan has fascinating myths about them.

“That’s Why I Like You So Much”

This was one of those parts where writing in English didn’t translate easily to a story about Japanese characters… I’m not fluent in Japanese (like, at all XD), but even with the little bit I know, it can get tricky to figure out how to show what a Japanese speaker would say/do in a situation, when it’s not quite what a Western English speaker might say/do? (It’s weird how much language can convey cultural standards, to the point that when you translate it directly, it doesn’t always make sense.)

So Furihata’s line when he’s half asleep would probably be something along the lines of “Dakara suki da”or “Dakara daisuki da.” (I’m leaving the exact line open to interpretation, because reasons? //laughs) In Japanese, when you’re interested in someone romantically, you generally say “I like you” or “Suki da.” (“Suki desu” is the more formal version, or you can also say “Suki da yo” to add emphasis.) So it has strong cultural associations with love confessions and crushes. “I really like you” or “Daisuki da” is a more intense version, closer to “I love you.” Some of the nuances of this are explained in this blog.

Either way, you’re still technically saying that you “like” someone. In fact, it’s the same way you’d say you like your favorite food, or you’re a fan of a certain hobby. Which is why the phrase could be kind of ambiguous, in theory… But attaching it to a person has definite connotations, which is why in the chapter, Akashi goes on to think this:

“He must have misheard, he told himself. The wording was somewhat odd, and out of place. Still, whatever Furihata had said, the emotion behind it seemed clear enough. It was the same simple, honest affection, that Akashi had come to recognize and treasure.”

(Oh, Oreshi. Your denial is so deep at this point? //laughs)

Anyway, this note is really just to point out that a lot of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing when I try to translate cultural norms between Japanese and English. XD; (Especially because I’m a clueless American with zero secondary language skills? //laughs) But it is something that occasionally factors into how I write a scene. I try to make sure that everything still makes sense for English speakers, but it can get kind of tricky when certain cultural things come up, and Akashi’s thought process here was one of those instances.

(On the other hand, it was a little easier to portray why Akashi and Furihata holding hands in public was an odd/uncomfortable experience for both of them… Even though in theory, the cultural reasons for it are a bit different/more complex in Japan compared to Western countries. But there was enough overlap there that I figured it still made sense?)

The Akashi Estate in Kyoto

It was so much fun to finally get to write about the Kyoto estate! It’s been a setting in this series before—mostly in The Fast Train to Kyoto—but those scenes were from Akashi’s perspective. Since it’s so familiar to him, he didn’t really go into detail about what the mansion looks like. I have a lot of headcanons about how the family estate developed… In my head, they used to live in more traditional-style buildings, but various heads of the family decided to update the estate over the years. The current building is a grand Western-style mansion, built by one of Akashi’s great grandfathers. I saved some photos to Pinterest for a general idea of what it looks like, including this and this.

I really wanted it to be a super fancy, over-the-top kind of place—and also visually different from the Akashi home in Tokyo. So it’s bigger and brighter, and the exterior is made of pale stone. Meanwhile, the Tokyo home is smaller and darker and the outside is made of red brick. Plus, the Kyoto residence includes a lot more land around it… Which will be covered in a future chapter!

I also enjoyed deciding what Akashi’s rooms would look like, compared to his rooms in Tokyo. Though to be honest, I see them as pretty similar, just bigger? //laughs The main difference is that instead of a canopy, his bed in Kyoto has a big fancy headboard with curtains built into the wall over it. (I got this idea while hunting for pictures of fancy beds online, no surprise there. XD) For an idea of what it looks like, this is pretty close to what I pictured in my head, but I also really liked this bed, and this is one of the most extra things I’ve ever seen. //laughs I also thought this room was awesome with the darker palette. I have a ton of photos like that on that Pinterest board, which brings me to…

This is probably as good a time as any to mention that I made a Pinterest board for The Vanishing Prince! It has LOTS of cool photos for pretty much every scene in the fic so far (and no spoilers, yay!), including ideas of what the interior of Akashi’s mansion might look like and some seriously GORGEOUS photos of the Gion district in Kyoto at night. There’s also some youkai illustrations and examples of samurai armor and kamon crests. Speaking of which…

The Akashi Kamon (or Family Crest)

Basically, a kamon is similar to the idea of heraldry/family crests in Western countries, in that a lot of Japanese families have one. This is especially true for powerful or “aristocratic” families that can trace their lineage back over many generations, so naturally, the Akashi family needed one! And let me tell you, I went on a JOURNEY to decide what theirs might look like? //laughs I researched a lot of different kamon designs, and while I had already decided it would include a chrysanthemum (the traditional crest of the Emperor and Imperial family, but sometimes incorporated into other family crests in different ways), I didn’t know what else should be in it. I toyed around with some different traditional motifs, like a peony or myouga ginger, but then I got a better idea…

Some of you may remember that a few years ago, there was a line of official Kuroko no Basuke merchandise that included traditional Japanese handicrafts and fabrics. What I liked most about it was the fabric they chose for each of the characters, because they all had some cool symbolism that matched the characters really well. I vaguely remembered that somebody posted about it here on Tumblr (here’s that post, which I dug up after the fact!), but I couldn’t remember what Akashi’s fabric meant. It’s a bit more intricate than everybody else’s because of course it is:

Even though I couldn’t remember what the pattern was, I figured it could be good to include in his family crest in some way? (Since flowers are often included in kamon.) So after some hunting, I figured out that his design includes bamboo and a phoenix flying over a Paulownia tree. The post I linked includes some more details about how these symbols are connected to the Emperor. Also, in Eastern mythology, phoenixes are believed to live in Paulownia trees. They’re believed to bring good fortune to rulers, which is probably why the Paulownia tree is so associated with royalty. Not surprisingly, the tree is also used frequently in Japanese crests—to the point that it’s even used in kamon for the Japanese government. Naturally, I thought the impressiveness of it would be a good fit for the Akashi family as well!

I drew a doodle of what the Akashi kamon in the fic looks like, something like this:

I’ll probably redraw it if I ever use it in actual fan art, but it gets the idea across! The kamon that I added to the Pinterest board includes some examples of how Paulownia trees and phoenixes have been included in other historical crests.

In any case, that’s how the Akashi kamon in this series ended up having a bunch of epic symbols in it! Which seemed appropriate, given the family it represents. XD (There’s also some hidden/secret significance in the design, specifically the part that appears to be two phoenix feathers… But I’ll probably end up going into that later!)

Akashi’s Family History

And now for the big revelation of the chapter… I’ve been wanting to explore the history of the Akashi family for a while, since it’s tied to some of the major themes of this series. The story Bokushi tells in this chapter is definitely meant to be more of a “family legend” than anything historical. But I did do some research on Japanese history, warfare, and legends to try to come up with a story that would fit culturally, while still having a “mythical” kind of feel to it.

I’ve mentioned before that my version of the Akashi family is meant to be a zaibatsu, which is basically a super powerful business family. Their influence tends to get exaggerated in fictional settings like Kuroko no Basuke—in reality, the zaibatsu don’t exist to that degree anymore—and my fic does this as well. It also adds a bit of a twist: before becoming successful in trade and finance, the Akashi family began as a clan of feudal lords.

Feudal Japan was partially governed by local lords called daimyos—who could be descended from the nobility, but weren’t always—and these lords ended up having a lot of power during certain time periods. This could be especially true if they were skilled in warfare and/or employed a lot of samurai. So in the story Bokushi tells, the Akashis were essentially a daimyo family who tried to become even more powerful, and then failed in a really tragic way.

I think most people know the basics about samurai armor, katana swords, and so on, so I won’t really go into those topics…. I did include several examples of samurai armor and weapons over on the Pinterest board I made, so you can get an idea of what the display room in this chapter looks like. (Or you can always google “samurai armor,” that works too! XD) Visors on samurai helmets were sometimes stylized like youkai monsters, to make them appear more intimidating on the battlefield. The Akashi family story also involves an allusion to ritual or “honor” suicide, though the circumstances are different from most samurai stories. (It was meant to show that the Akashi clan’s idea of shame in defeat was much more severe than most.) Since it was such a brief part of the chapter, I won’t discuss the history of ritual suicide in Japan, but it’s easily researchable online. (And as I’m sure most people know, the process is very graphic/disturbing, so please be aware of that.)

As for what inspired the Akashi story, I’m tempted to go on a long tangent here about how Kuroko no Basuke’s overall plot structure takes a lot of cues from samurai tales and Japanese action movies, to the point that this is an ACTUAL MOMENT from the show that I totally forgot about:

(Seriously, a million points to anyone who remembers which two characters were facing off during this moment??? Because I would have gotten one of them wrong for sure. Which actually ties into my point about the structure pretty well. XD)

Anyway, point being, I was definitely inspired by the nods to the Japanese warrior mythos in KnB to include more direct allusions in Akashi’s backstory—and to play around with how that history might have affected his family’s perspective on honor, victory, and defeat.

(I’d also like to note that the way Bokushi says the infamous line about his eyes in KnB canon has a key difference from the way Lord Akashi uses it in the legend… While it’s still emotional manipulation being used as motivation, Bokushi also uses it as a way to say that he’ll take all the blame for a defeat on himself, after intentionally making a shot for the other team. In other words, Bokushi is only holding himself to the Akashi standard. He wouldn’t blame his team for having to give up his eyes the way Lord Akashi blamed his son, because he doesn’t see them as bearing the same level of responsibility—even though he IS extending them the same level of trust, and complete confidence in their abilities. From Bokushi’s point of view, this is all totally obvious—even though it wouldn’t be to everyone else. To me, the distinction is pretty important to my interpretation of his character. But your mileage may vary, of course!)

And A Quick Note on Bokushi’s Theory

Finally, since this story has been exploring Akashi’s mental health, I just wanted to mention something about this line:

“In many ways, the tale had defined him all his life. It had taught him what it truly took to succeed. It was largely inseparable, from his sense of self. Perhaps in a certain sense, it had even caused it.”

Since I’m trying to be as careful as I can with how I portray dissociation, I want to clarify that this isn’t meant to be an explanation for how Akashi developed Dissociation Identity Disorder. Instead, this line is Bokushi’s theory about how/why he developed his personality traits, in comparison to his other self. It’s definitely an oversimplification, since there are many reasons why he behaves the way he does, the same as it is for anyone… But I think it makes sense for Bokushi to point to this family legend, which was told to Akashi at a very formative point in his childhood, as a way to explain his general worldview and priorities.

The question of why Akashi developed more than one self state is more complicated, and will be explored throughout the fic, rather than having one simple, straightforward explanation like this.

Well, that’s it for my notes! To anyone who read all the way through them, I’m very impressed. XD I really was excited to post this chapter—and I hope it was interesting and enjoyable to read in spite of (or because of?) how intense it was. Thank you as always for reading, and I hope to post the next chapter as soon as I can. <3 (It’s already drafted and once again, I’m SO EXCITED. I have a feeling I’ll be saying that a lot for this fic? //laughs)

[moanbyul-yi]

k so @byulyi dared me to do all the flowers from this and my dumbass thought it was a great idea to accept the dare but my dumbass also fucked up and basically deleted the ask so here it is in a post lmao buckle up bitch!! (u really dont have to read it if u dont want its sm longer than i thought it would be) 

amaryllis - name an attribute of yourself that you are proud of. proud of my ability to find the shittiest and worst tv shows/movies and watch them religiously lmao

anemone - describe a time when you felt abandoned or betrayed by someone you loved. back in yr 8??9?? i had a super close friend (that i was also in love with but i didnt realise bc of compulsive heterosexuality) that randomly cut off ties with me and yike it sucked 

azalea - would you describe yourself as a patient person? in terms of simple things like waiting on a package no lmao but if its waiting for a person or smthn like ykno that deep shit then yeah 

begonia - describe anything you see as a “red flag” (something that makes you cautious about a new friend or love interest) straight up if theyre an asshole,, if they say something homophobic/racist/sexist etc just if theyre not accepting and nice to all people 

bird of paradise - do you like hosting parties, or do you prefer to just attend? i love hosting!!!!!!! i love making sure everyones havin a lit time and organising all the stuff 

bluebell - what keeps you humble? tbh idk how to answer this question just bc ig im not really in a position where i have stuff to flex so like i dont have a lot to be humble about ?? in terms of like achievements n shit 

chysanthemum - describe your idea of a perfect day.  this is kinda gay but honestly just a day i get to spend chilling with my girl whether we go out or just stay home and binge movies all day whatever it is,, just to have a chill day with her with no ‘you have to be doing this!!!!!!’ feeling 

spring crocus - describe your favourite childhood memory. the first one that comes to mind is me and my cousin when we were like 5yo running around the house with a cape on pretending we were superheroes

daffodil - how do you confess your feelings to someone you’re interested in? ive only done it twice, the first time was a complete Mess and the second time they initiated it so idk lol i wing it ig 

daisy - describe something that gives you hope when things seem bleak. honestly idk bc im the kinda person that just wallows in their sadboi but i guess something that helps is just talking to people esp my gf about whatever it is thats sucky

foxglove - when was the last time you told a lie? i told my parents i was going to the city for lunch with a friend today but i went to a dance class for love shot by exo lmao 

gardenia - have you ever had to keep a romance a secret? if so, why and for how long?  yeah bc we were both not out - had to keep it a secret from p much everyone other than a few friends the entire time we were tgt 

purple hyacinth - describe a time when you had to apologize to someone last year,, i had a fight(??) with my friend and yeah 

hydrangea - how much time do you spend on your appearance each day? not a lot i always look like a Mess 

white jasmine - what is something that never fails to make you laugh? !!!!!!!mamamoo !!!!!! 

lavender -  describe your oldest friendship, and why you think it has lasted so long. i have a primary sch friend and we’ve been friends sort of since kindy but properly for like 8 years???? its the kinda friendship where we dont have to talk often but we can hit each other up whenever and it isnt weird its just chill and gucci ( @akicchisano luv u binch no homo)

lilac - describe your first relationship or first love. yeet ok my first pROper rs?? lasted like a year and a half and it was a friend in high school,, uhh it was good while it lasted but im glad its over and i wouldnt go back lmao but it was definitely a learning experience 

calla lily - what traits do you find beautiful in others? in yourself? i guess imma be really typical and say kindness like the kindness in which u dont expect anything in return?? like the way people aim to make people happy and laugh and shit ykno (i just woke up soz this is terrible)

tiger lily - if you had to choose between doing what you love and making very little money, or doing a job you hate and making a lot of money, what would you choose and why? im assuming the very little money is still enough to get by?? but i would choose that just bc if i hated my job idk how long i would last in it but i dont think it would be very long at all. if i had people to provide for or something tho then definitely the second bc gotta get that dough for them 

lotus flower - would you say that you are a spiritual person? if so, what elements of spirituality are important to you? nah im not really  

magnolia - describe your favourite thing to do outdoors. probably just walking around ykno with nothing to do or maybe hiking?? sightseeing?? shit like that 

morning glory - are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection? very lmao if i like you romantically or platonically ill be v touchy and cuddly if u reciprocate it,, i also will give random gifts like stuff ive made or stuff that reminds me of that person just random small things 

pansy - what is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has done for you? idk if this is the mOSt thoughtful bc i have bad memory but that one time the mvp @akicchisano bought me a smol christmas tree bc i kept talking about how i wanted one but couldnt find one that shit got me busting the phattest uwus

peony - describe the top three things necessary for a happy life.  a sugar daddy,, good food,, girls

petunia - what never fails to make you angry? when people borrow shit and dont put it back how they found it >:(

red poppy - what tips or tricks do you use to cheer yourself up when you’re down? i go for a drive (i cant drive so i make my brother lmao) or i watch smthn funny just get my mind off it somehow

red rose - describe your ideal date or romantic evening.  shit idk about ideal but itd be really nice to maybe get dinner and go star gazing like somewhere far where theres less light pollution and hella stars and then after that just coming home to binge movies and cuddle

yellow rose - do you get jealous easily? sO easily its terrible but most of the time i dont do anything about it

snowdrop - have you ever had a falling out with a friend or family member? not in such a way thats resulted in us not ever talking again 

sunflower - do you consider yourself a loyal person?  ye,, ya girl aint no hoe

sweet pea - describe a difficult goodbye you had to make to a friend or other loved one. probably saying bye to all my family bc they came to visit and having to send them off opened up some real emo hours :((((

violet - how important is loyalty in friendships and/or relationships? v important bc u gotta have someone to rely on but it should be loyalty and not blindly following 

wisteria - do you like poetry? if so, describe your favorite poem(s). yeah i kinda just like random poetry theres a lot from an insta acc called poeticpoison that i really like

zinnia - do you have any loved ones in your life that you miss and wish you could see?  yeahh my gorlfriend and all my family since they all live in different countries

[saccharinedanganimagines]

How about some more Hanahaki? This time though with, Shuichi, Kaito, Makoto, Mondo, and Hajime as the infected ones, please! I’d appreciate some angst, and what kind of flowers they cough up. Whether there are happy endings or not is up to you! Oh! And love your guys’ blog!

Angst.

They share a lot of flowers, so I apologize for the repeat meanings, as well as for if some of these are ooc, I focused more on the Hanahaki concept than the characters themselves, honestly. ((Also, while these are bad endings, I did write up good endings to each of these stories, so if you’d like me to post them as well, let me know.))

-Mod Fuyuhiko

Shuichi Saihara 

Shuichi had undeniably fallen for you.

Unfortunately, you were sick. Terribly so, and he knew you didn’t have the time or energy to put into another person; you could barely do it for yourself.

At first he believed he could shake the feelings off, though he quickly learned that was impossible, beginning to find bloodied petals escaping his mouth whenever he coughed.

The petals seemed to only be coming from a couple different types of flowers, though; it couldn’t be that bad.

Oh how wrong he was.

The longer he loved you, the worse it got. It was complete flowers now; his breathing getting harder, but he was determined to push through it for your sake. He didn’t want you to know about this, you didn’t need the extra stress.

He ended up doing quite a lot of research on what the flowers in his bouquet meant.

Tarragon flowers meant lasting interest, gardenias were secret love. While those were the only two flowers he was coughing up at the time, he thought it best to read up on as many as he could.

It was smart of him to do this, because your condition started to worsen, and with that came new flowers.

Purple hyacinth and willow blossoms, the next flowers that were stained red, meant sorrow and sadness. Striped carnations meant regret, and they showed up when you reached a point of barely being able to stay awake long enough to talk to him.

He couldn’t have a full conversation with someone anymore; his coughing had grown too frequent. He still refused to tell you, though. He didn’t want your last weeks to be miserable.

You were almost gone, and both of you knew that. No matter how much hope he could muster he couldn’t convince himself otherwise. Maybe it’s because you told him you were close to death. Maybe it’s because a new flower had been added to his unrequited bouquet: Cyclamen. The flower that means goodbye.

A day later your parents were telling him that you had passed.

He didn’t want to believe it; he refused to believe it.

The last flower he coughed up was a bittersweet flower, though he didn’t think the name matched his feelings about the situation. It meant truth. That flower made it undeniable that you were dead. He hated it; he hated that you were gone, he hated that a flower, one that represented something so important to him, was the proof, he hated that if he didn’t want to die he was going to have to get the surgery and lose any feelings he had for you. He hated that he never even got to say goodbye.

Makoto Naegi

Makoto had always liked you, he always felt a spark when he spent time with you.

You didn’t seem to feel the same, his romantic gestures always went misinterpreted and unreciprocated.

It wasn’t long before he completely fell in unrequited love with you, and after that, it was only a matter of time before he was coughing up a variety of flowers.

He had heard about people overcoming this disease and dating the one they loved, so he refused to give up hope that he could, too.

Once the coughs went from unidentifiable flower petals and evolved into complete, painful to cough up, bloody flowers he began learning what they meant; what they suggested for him and his future.

Chamomile, meaning patience, tarragon, meaning lasting interest, and… Holly, meaning hope. It felt like he had a chance, like he really could overcome this; none of his flowers seemed to be saying no, so why shouldn’t he hope for the best outcome? He’s sure it’ll happen-

Spoke too soon.

The next time you talked to him you went on and on about liking someone- that you found everything this person did so utterly perfect and incredible and you could only hope they felt the same.

This introduced a new flower to him: yellow hyacinth. Jealousy.

But… Then again, what if you were talking about him? Dropping hints to get him to figure it out? What if you liked him back?

So he made the biggest mistake he possibly could’ve made in this situation. Confessed to you. Of course, you let him down easy, you didn’t want to upset him, but it had already done the damage, and his lungs were weighed down by yet another new flower. Peony, meaning shame.

Soon after this event, you began dating whoever it was you had a crush on; he didn’t really pay attention to who it was. All he paid attention to was the fact that it seemed like he had lost a flower and gained too many more and it was suffocating him.

He looked into the changes and found his new flowers: Bittersweet, representing truth, the truth of you never viewing him as more than a friend, no doubt. Arborvitae, representing unchanging friendship, which he thought was the most painful one, until he found what he had lost and what had replaced it. The holly flower, his hope, had escaped his lungs, instead, he was coughing up anemone, which represented the feeling of hope fading; the feeling of being forsaken.

That broke his heart; his hope had left him.

You had left him.

Kaito Momota

He was infatuated as soon as he saw you. Unfortunately for him you didn’t reciprocate this love at first sight he was experiencing.

And from this, pale purple petals start to fall from his mouth when he coughs.

He doesn’t think much of it at first, deciding that it wasn’t something too dangerous or worth taking seriously- but as soon as Shuichi noticed what was going on he was telling Kaito how disastrous this could be.

The lavender colored petals- rose petals are what Shuichi said they were- never became full flowers, instead the first full flowers were blue; though they still seemed to be roses.

It was when they started to hurt to cough up that he started looking into what this was, what he was experiencing and what it meant.

He had heard that only coughing one flower rather than a bouquet was significantly better than seven kinds before he even started looking stuff up, so he assumed it wouldn’t be a problem.

He found the meaning of both the lavender roses and blue ones, love at first sight and ‘I love you but I can’t have you’ respectively. Fitting, he thought, thinking about how his friendship with you had grown closer.

He started to put more effort into hiding it when a new flower- Gardenias, meaning secret love- began growing in his chest. He wasn’t exactly closed off about his feelings, but he wasn’t about to tell you about this; Shuichi knowing was already bad enough.

Speaking of Shuichi knowing, he saw the way Kaito’s health began falling the longer this went on, leading him to mention that it might be a good idea to get the surgery.

He never noticed how saying that made Kaito start coughing up Violets- loyalty and devotion-, too.

Maybe that was what broke him. Maybe it was the new flowers, just waiting to bloom in his already overfilled lungs. Whatever it was, Kaito collapsed. When he was hanging out with you, no less.

Of course, you did everything in your power to help him- though you knew there was nothing you could really do. There wasn’t exactly a cure for this that could save him in time in an emergency situation like his breathing becoming impossible.

As he entered a fatal coughing fit, bloody flowers he hadn’t seen yet came out of his mouth. You knew a lot about flowers- you’d had to help people with this before- so you told him what they meant.

Willow, sadness, purple hyacinth, sorrow, white clover, ‘think of me’, and… Wait, these roses are changing color, they were blue before what’s happening why are they- why are they…

Black roses. Death.

Mondo Oowada

You both knew it was dangerous for you two to get so close to each other, considering Mondo’s relations to some dangerous groups, but you let yourself befriend him anyway.

It was inevitable that he would fall for you. How could he not when you were so incredible?

It seemed like everything was perfect; you weren’t exactly subtle about your appreciation of him

No flowers appeared, so it seemed that all would be good. Everything would be okay! No one would be hurt!

That is, until you went missing.

Everything fell apart. At first he searched for you until he passed out, but once he found that you weren’t anywhere he took a break from looking. That was when the coughing fits began.

At first he thought it was just from exhaustion- it just looked like something natural to him, the white flower petals he was coughing were dyed red from blood, so he couldn’t tell they were flowers, assuming it was just… Blood in some form.

Of course, when they grew into full flowers and he realized what was happening he had a whole minute worth of curse words falling from his mouth along with the flowers that were slowly flooding his lungs.

He found chamomile flowers, those meant patience, and daisies and violets- the first colored flower he saw- which both meant loyal love in a way.

The more days that passed without you the worse he felt and the worse the coughing became. He started seeing purple hyacinth- sorrow, tarragon- lasting interest, and anemone- fading hope.

He was mad. Why did the world decide he deserved this? He was so happy- you were so happy, everything was so nice. Why did it have to fall apart?

He didn’t let the flowers convince him you were gone, though. He kept believing you had to come back. How was he supposed to live with himself if he knew that you never came back because he wasn’t vigilant enough?

You had to.

The last flower he coughed up was cyclamen. It meant resignation and goodbye. He didn’t like that. He could tell if this got much worse he’d die but he couldn’t find you.

He went to the hospital the next day. He needed a surgery.

Hajime Hinata

Hajime had been your best friend for years; you two were basically inseparable since you met.

Of course, with that came the chances that one of you developed feelings for the other one at some point throughout the friendship.

You had realized it was you that had to deal with those feelings a few years after becoming friends.

Knowing he didn’t like you back hurt, but the flowers that clawed their way through your lungs and throat and head hurt more. You couldn’t stand it. You couldn’t stand how much it stung when pointed leaves or thorns got caught in your body, you couldn’t stand how much it stung to see Hajime feel nothing for you.

You got the surgery to remove them. They kept asking if you were sure, and that it took the feelings away with it, and this can be really dangerous, in the event this person falls for you later in life-

You didn’t care. You wanted the pain to end.

You never told Hajime about this; what would he think?

About seven months later, you walked into Hajime’s room to find him leaning over a trash can, coughing up blood and flowers that looked eerily similar to your own.

You ran to him, asking him what happened, how long it had happened, who it was for.

He explained everything as best he could between coughing fits, including that he had been dealing with this for around a month and a half. You learned what he was coughing from what he told you.

The list he had gotten was gardenias, meaning secret love, peony meaning shame, alstroemeria meaning friendship, and chamomile meaning patience.

You also learned you were the one he was pining for.

You had to explain to him what you had done before, watching the new flowers seemingly appear out of nowhere as you spoke. You had to watch the coughing worsen, watch the tears pool in his eyes, the desperation on his face begging you to say it was a joke, please, oh god (Y/n) tell me this isn’t true-

He got his answer from the new flowers. Yellow carnation, meaning disappointment, striped carnations, meaning regret and refusal, and bittersweet, meaning truth. You could almost see the way his heart crumpled in his chest. He couldn’t speak. He was hurting so, so much.

And you couldn’t do anything about it.

[peacefulwriter88]

Bad Habit - Part 5

Lance Tucker x PoC, Curvy WoC

Warnings: SMUT, Language, the usual

A/N: Mad Lance feels. I hate that when I am accosted with Lance he likes gets under my skin, literally attacks my being and cripples/ruins me for other characters. Soooooooo yea. This is a long ass part. I’d either get comfortable on your bed/couch/whatever and enjoy because the angst is but a rumble or two away.....

“That guy was totally into you.”

You look up from your IPhone, frowning as you maneuver around pedestrians before you find your stride again with your co-worker Emily, quirking your right eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?”

Emily snorts and rolls her eyes as you both stop at an intersection and she fans herself, trying to juggle the rolls of fabric she has in her hands. You were juggling three bags, a large iced mocha and your phone as she says,

“Listen, Andrew loves your designs and is always willing to give us the premium fabric because he has a thing for you. I told you this back in February – he is newly single and I know he’s been waiting for the green light to ask you out.”

You give a slow nod, taking a sip of your iced coffee as your brain racks over this new information. You were sure Emily had told you, probably multiple times, but you had been too distracted by the blossoming romance between you and Lance the past month that the idea of anyone else had become dust in the back of your mind. The light changes and you both cross the street, inching closer to the theater.

“I forgot about him.”

“How do you forget about Andrew!? He is basically hotness incarnate and he’s sweet and funny. You guys would totally match. Honestly, if he wasn’t so into you I’d go after that.”

You chuckle as you shake your head. Technically Emily was right – Andrew checked all the boxes you invested in when dating someone. But he was also incredibly boring and you typically tended to waver off into your mind when you tried to listen to him talk. While he was all the things a girl should want, he also didn’t have that air of confidence you tended to always fall for in a man, nor the wit or energy to keep up with your sassy attitude. Which you knew was a result of a certain former Olympian that had captured your heart.

Lance Tucker the Fucker.

You hadn’t really told anyone about Lance. Not because you were ashamed but because there was still this small part of you that couldn’t’ believe that he was all yours –all 195 pounds of committed perfection that he was. You knew that if you opened the door to informing them about who you were dating, they would want to know more. How’d you meet? How long you’ve been dating? What did he do? What did he look like?

Typically you were open to share that stuff with your team – you all had worked together for years. But Lance was different. Lance on a physical scale was a solid 10. Probably, honestly, a 14 out of 10. But the minute he would open that big fucking mouth of his and that snarky and cocky attitude would drip out, any physical attributes would drop his fine ass down to the single digits. You had a history of dating bro’s – shallow men who didn’t value and appreciate you. They had been there with you through all the heartbreak and humiliation. They had committed to ensuring you would stop dating men like Lance. They wouldn’t be able to see how selfish he was, how thoughtful and brilliant and intelligent and incredibly witty the former athlete could be. No, because Lance was a walking epidemic of insecurity and the first sign of being anxious or unsure would draw out that fucking attitude of his and you weren’t ready to battle your closest friends with why this time, actually, really, Lance was different. Way different than the assholes from before.

“Hello, earth to Y/N, you still there!?”

Emily’s voice refocuses you to the present and you turn to her, smiling.

“Sorry, thinking about some designs I’ve been flirting with for this upcoming set…” you turn to her and sigh. Emily was one of your closest friends since you’ve moved to New York. You both told each other everything, good or bad. She even knew Lily – you were that tight. It was one thing to not tell your co-workers; it was another not to tell her.

You hadn’t even told Lily for obvious reasons and keeping it from the two people you loved the most was taxing. Emily would be a good test for Lily who would eventually either find out or be informed.

“Listen Em,” you walk into the cool space, raising your sunglasses as you walk into the empty theater, “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Please don’t say I need to stay late tonight. Again. We’ve been pulling late nighters for weeks – I like can’t handle it.”

She’s giving you those exaggerated puppy eyes that has you laughing and rolling your eyes. She’s mocking one of your interns of course, even if you knew that a small part of her was also hoping that it wasn’t the case.

It was a tough time in the season.

“No, no, no…nothing like that.” You stop in front of the elevator and she looks at you expectantly.

“Listen, I haven’t been hitting on Andrew because I’ve been talking to a guy.”

Its only five seconds of her processing the words before she lets out,

“Wait, what!”

“I’ve been –“ she doesn’t allow you to finish the words as she holds up a finger. “No, don’t tell me. I heard you. You’ve been DATING someone. For how long?”

You turn, punching the down button on the elevator as you mumble,

“I guess like….almost three months technically.”

“Technically!” she shrieks out, getting the attention of a few passer byers and you nod as the elevator chimes and she’s pushing you in.

“Dish.”

You shrug as you take another long sip. Thank god for America and Starbucks for inventing venti size for moments like this.

“Nothing to dish. Lance is a childhood friend and we used to date then broke up in high school then recently rekindled our romance. ‘Nuf said.”

“Enough said?” Emily asks incredulously, “Did you just tell me that you have a rekindled romance with your former high school lover and you’ve been with him for three months and you haven’t told me why? Is he horrible looking?”

You snort.

“Okay, is he a horrible person.”

“I mean, he can be cocky and a little rough around the edges but he’s not horrible.”

Emily squints her eyes at you.

“Then why’d you hold out so long!?”

You sigh,

“You know me. I start dating someone and I get weird about it because I just had to test to make sure that this was real….that’s all.”

Emily nods as she leans against the elevator wall.

“That better be it. I expect full pictures and an invite to dinner sometime soon.”

“Ahh,” you note as you look at her, “He also currently lives across the country soooo….”

“Y/N!”

“What!” you laugh back as the doors open and you are accosted with Aimee your intern. Aimee, of all the interns, was the most competent. She met deadlines and was open to feedback. You liked her, even if she could be a gossip and slept with too many of the tech guys.

As she stood in front of you now, her eyes wide saucers she practically grabbed you out of the elevator as she breathed out,

“There is a literal sex god waiting for you in the workshop!”

Emily looks over at you and you scrunch your eyebrows together. Who the hell would be meeting with you, let alone what kind of hot sex god as Aimee put it would be trying to meet with you? It was Thursday, typically a slow day regarding your supplier. No need for chiefs or production assistants to visit. You frown as you walk past her, Emily and Aimee hot on your heels as you say,

“Did he tell you his name?”

“Said you would know who he was.”

You groan. Great. It was either a former ex-boyfriend who still remembered your minor job history or an ex actor who had a crush on you. Neither were ever invited to your space. Emily can feel your tension as you both turn the corner and your accosted with the scene.

Everyone is trying to act like they are working, pretending to reflect on stitch work or designs but really they were googling to what, indeed, Aimee had referred to as a sex god.

Lance was always oblivious to the impact he had on people. Men and women alike couldn’t help but be affected by his charm, his strong good looks. He was wearing dark jeans that hosted the ray bans you loved him and a simple white shirt that found every contour of his muscles with a light navy bomber jacket. He was trying to experiment not wearing his USA gear after a comment you made, trying to prove that he didn’t use it as a second layer of protection to his identity. What stands out more is the large bouquet of peonies that lazily hang in his hands as he falls back on the desk he’s leaning on and you tried to bite back the flutter that he remembered that peonies were your favorite. He’s looking down at his phone, eyes furrowed together as he responds to texts and you’re surprised he hasn’t picked up that the shops normal high nose has gone down a decimal, all interested to know who he was and how he knew you.

“You’re right,” you say, flicking your eyes to Aimee. “I do know who he is.”

The call had come in at 7 p.m. California time, while Lance was driving home from a long day at the gym. He had been looking forward to talking to you, both of you missing each other by your current hectic schedules when real estate agent had called. Apparently there was a building, in Brooklyn, that was up for lease. Prime real estate right off the subway tracks, good location for marketing and promoting, and for the US Olympic team because the owner was an avid fan of Lance’s past wins, could get the space at a price that might as well be highway robbery. If Lance wanted to look into it, he’d have to jump on a red eye and check it out in the morning, 10 a.m. Eastern Time. If Lance liked what he saw, they would go through with the deal. Most of the association had already checked it out and approved it but because Lance was the one who would be the main lead on this, they wanted his okay.

That had been humbling, that they were looking for him to be making such a big decision. So he hadn’t hesitated when he had said that he was completely down. 

So he went home, quickly packed and jumped on the next flight to New York. Got in around 5 a.m., stole four hours of sleep before he was up looking at the expansive space. Didn’t matter that the Americano had him wired like a hot set of wheels, that he was verging on the line of delusional and annoyed – the minute he stepped into the large warehouse he knew that he had to have it. It was perfect. High vaulted ceilings, enough floor space to house thirty times more gymnast than the gym in L.A. a nice set of office that were private and open, a place where he could escape but also monitor competitors if he needed too. He was giddy, already thinking of the gym layout, how he wanted to get your insight on decorating the space and then halfway through laying out the terms it hits him.

He was in New York. He could see you. He could visit the boy’s real quick – probably even stay the weekend. It’d be a nice surprise for Lily. For you. For him.

So, after doing some negotiating and talking to the right people, he makes a beeline to your theater. Already making plans with Lily who confirms that for the first weekend in months, you have off and was planning to help her clean out mom’s house. How perfect it was that he could join and help. He knows on Thursday, instead of being on the main stage you were in the shared workshop where all designers collaborated for the many theaters – small and large – that were peppered off of Broadway. Knew that this was one of your slower days despite the fact that it was also when the weekend rush started. Knew he had the flexibility to drop by without you being distracted.

What he doesn’t expect is for you to take him off guard.

It was mid-May, the heat hadn’t even really consumed the city yet but you still wore high waist shorts that flattered your frame. Was wearing the frilly crop top that was exposing that smooth skin he loved to caress, the navy blue popping against your skin tone. You were wearing chucks because of course you were wearing chucks but it didn’t look out of place on you, not paired with the casual bun you had managed your hair into on top of your head.

He can feel his erection trying to make an appearance and reminds himself of all the things that can temper it – how melancholic he had felt while signing the lease to the warehouse because he knew that he couldn’t call his mom after to tell her it was finally happening, how he had absently called her six times since she landed all to be greeted with an out of service line. It’s enough to get him to clear his throat, a large smile printing itself on his face as you shake your head, that cocky smirk mirroring his. Knowing that you might be just a tad upset that he had shown up without letting you know, but that you secretly appreciated surprises because it meant that he was thinking about you.

He starts to walk over to you, ignoring the way half of the women and some men’s eyes snap at him because he’s only focused on you. Wants to claim you for his own – wants everyone at your job to know that you’ve branded yourself onto him, to his soul and that he had done the same. Feeling incredibly territorial all of sudden because he realizes that it’s the first time since the start of your relationship that he’s on your turf.

He lifts the flowers, loving the pleased way your eyes glaze over as you take them, biting your lip as you juggle them in your already full hands. Tries to be patient but suddenly drawn to you, in a trance as his fingers reach out for you. He just needed to feel you, needed to dance his hands across the skin that he’s already memorized in his mind and he doesn’t care of the audience in front of the both of you as he hands fingers find your hips as you nearly drop all of the things in your hands before he plants his mouth on top of yours.

Kissing you – he had also decided since the month you had seen him – was probably one of his new favorite past times. He could kiss you for hours, tongue combating yours for dominance, slowly and lustfully as he drank you in. The way you would occasionally moan and position yourself closer to him, hands threading through his hair as his hands explored all the curves of your body. He loved the softness of your lips, the warmth from your skin radiating onto him, the way you smelled. His hands creep behind your underside, biting into your ass as he forces you closer to him, not afraid this time of the way his cock twitches a bit, as he draws out a small moan from you.

“I love you…” he murmurs when he pulls away, only far enough to look you in the eye. Your eyes are lust filled, heavy lidded as you regain your senses, irises burning into his as he places soft, feathery kisses over your face.

“Love and missed you so much.”

You wrap your arms around him, the coolness from your iced coffee a contrast from the outside heat emanating off your body onto his chest as you laugh, face jutted up so he could continue to kiss your eyelids, nose, chin, cheeks and mouth.

Who was he? What was it about you that made him operate like a man without control?

And then your arms are wrapping around his neck, urging him back down to kiss you again and he knows, knows by the way your lips seductively pass over his own as you mutter out the words his heart lunges at every time he hears it escape your mouth.

I love you too.

The moment is short lived, interrupted by the clearing of a woman’s throat and the sound causes you to stiffen, for your eyes to break away from him as you look over and give an embarrassed smile to the woman who is watching with that same amused glint in her eyes.

“Right,” you try to distance yourself, remembering where you are but he’s having nothing of it. Keeps you tightly trapped in his embrace as you continue, “Em – this is umm errr…Lance.”

Emily nods, smiling growing larger as she sticks out her hand.

“Pleasure to finally meet you Lance. I’m Emily. One of her co-workers and….”

“Good friends. Yea. You hang out with Y/N and my sister, Lily. They talk about you both a lot.” He remembers her name, vaguely remembers her picture. Emily was cute, but simple and plain and easy to forget compared to you. He tries to bite back the thought as he sticks out his hands, giving it a hearty shake as Emily looks over at you, eyes round saucers.

“Realllllllyyyyyy? Interesting seeing as…..”

“Seeing as Emily needs to go and check the designs of our intern. Go check the designs with our interns. And the rest of you, enough of the porn show, back to work.”

You’re giving Emily the look – the one where your eyes narrow in that playfully threatening way and he never knows if you are truly going to act on it or it’s a warning. Emily picks up on it, laughing as she pulls the young red head that’s giving him Japanese’s heart eyes a once over, reminding her that she was crazy to think that she’d have a shoot with a chance at Lance, let alone a man that was handcuffed to you. That part was at least true.

You pick up your belongings, shaking your head as you ask,

“I gotta jump into a meeting in five minutes and can’t talk long. Why are you here? Didn’t think you’d be in town for another month?”

Always to the point. He smiles as he shrugs,

“I’ll tell you on one condition.”

Now you’re giving him that look, the condescending one that makes his smile break wider.

“You don’t make a fuss about me helping you and Lily clean out mom’s house this weekend.”

You roll your eyes but the smile that slowly creeps on your face isn’t missed as you exhale,

“Fine. What is it?”

He shrugs, bending down and planting one last kiss on your lips. Hating that he had already decided to tease you, wanting nothing more than to pull you into a bathroom and have you screaming out his name.

“I’ll tell you when I see you this weekend,” he bites at your bottom lip as you groan, “And make sure to please that pretty little pussy I’ve been jerking off too for the past month.”

The last part is whispered lower and you flicker your eyes up at him, large doe eyes that are drenched in lust as he pulls away. Then you moan, giving him a punch as he laughs.

“You’re such a jerk!” you say and he only shrugs.

“A jerk with great timing. Your first weekend off and we all get to spend it together…”

He doesn’t have to look back to know how deeply you roll your eyes at him.

You don’t know how you had gotten yourself into this position.

Saturday morning, the birds chirping and a pretty day just begging for you to enjoy by a pool or beach and instead you were trying to muffle your laughter as you pulled Lance further into the tight closet space, adjusting your body as he raises you against the shelf, his mouth planted on your neck as you reach down for his belt.

“What’s gotten into you Lance? Miss me?” you whisper as his mouth nips at your neck before pulling away, smiling up at you. His eyes were shining that pretty dark shade of cerulean as they drunk you in, pulling away far enough to start making work on the buttons of your romper.

“You are such a goddamn tease, you know that?”

You giggle as you shake your head, watching him curiously as he makes quick work of the small fasteners.

“Takes a tease to know a tease. You were the one who basically had been a hot, sweaty mess at my job. My place of work sir. Do you know how much shit I’ve gotten since you’ve dropped by casually?”

You’ve popped his jeans open and your thighs pull his pants and boxers down and he groans as he follows suite, spreading your legs and pushing his erection against your folds.

“As much as I want you too. I want them to know who’s pleasing this pretty little pussy. Do you know how fucking much I’ve missed it?”

He looks up at you as you giggle and spread your legs wider, bending down to kiss him.

“That all you miss? If a girl didn’t know better she think you’d only miss her for her body.” Your voice is a soft murmur against his lips as he inserts himself in you and you both gasp, his hands digging into your flesh. He doesn’t waste time as his cock slowly slots into you, both of you revering the way your walls flutter around his taut muscle as his lips moving to your neck. He only waits a second before he’s moving into you, his hips moving with skillful ease that draws a low moan from the raptors of your throat.

“No. I missed your smile. Missed your eyes. Missed your – fuck, goddamn,” he bites down on your collarbone and you yelp as his hands move down to your clit, digging your hands into his back.

“I don’t care right now. Just make me cum, fuck please make me cum.”

“Baby girl, that’s all I want to do.”

He pulls away far enough to watch you as he hitches your leg up higher and you scream, his name loud on your lips and he bends down to kiss you as his hips expertly shimmy in you, your first orgasm hitting you hard.

“You gotta be quiet sweetheart. Don’t want to get caught.”

His words are lost on your ears as you fall back on the shelf, toys and board games falling on you as he rams into you harder, his hands digging into your hips. You feel another orgasm building up, his hand never relenting from your clit and you kiss him deeper, dragging him closer.

“Come on Lance, cum for me. Show me how much I please that beautiful cock of yours.”

You knew he loved it when you talked dirty to him, the lascivious sentences that you would form and he shudders as his hips stutter into you, moaning your name as his seed spills in you. His head falls lazily into the crook of your neck and you both give a content sigh, your hands running slowly through his hair.

“Rompers make having sex way too complicated.” He finally lets out, drawing a laugh out of you as you press a soft kiss onto his forehead.

“Yea but that’s the fun of it. Knowing you have to work for it.”

He chuckles as he pulls out of you, his softening dick leaving a trace of his cum in its wake and he places a tinder kiss on each of your breast, nipping at the fatty tissue behind your push up bra before pulling away, helping you down from your spot on the shelves. The minor shift causes more toys to fall and you both give a chuckle as he bends down to pick up his pants.

“I know all of that. Saw you coming in through the living room dressed like a goddamn runaway model. Wedges and that romper that just made your ass,” he gives your ass a squeeze, causing you to yelp as he bends down to kiss you. “…do things to me. Why do you think I had to pull you into here the first minute I could?”

You smile up at him, before finding something to wipe the sticky cum from dripping down your leg further. You’re grateful for the IUD you had gotten before you had headed out to see Lance in L.A., knowing that he brought your reckless habits, fearing the consequences of something that monumental so early in your relationship. He fixes himself up quickly, before he takes you in as you finish wiping yourself before his hands find the bottom of your romper, starting to button up the thin fabric. You watch him as he tenderly does the task and he smirks as he states,

“By the way I miss this. Being able to be near you. To hear your laugh and voice and feel your skin and the way your heart beats and know that at any moment, I can pull you toward me and kiss you. Cause I don’t know how else to show you that I’ve missed you, that I care. That I love you….” He stops, frowning and looking down at you knowing he’s betrayed something you know he’d only normally write in your journal.

You always pulled out something sentimental and vulnerable in Lance. Ruth had always joked that outside of her, you were the one who saw the sensitive flashes that Lance only occasionally shared with the rest of the world. His eyes are threaded with worry and concern, helplessness flashing in them even in the dim light of the walk in closet and you take his face in your hands and give a soft smile,

“You don’t have to say it. I know. I know that you love me Lance. I love you too. And I can’t even begin to voice how much I’ve missed you.”

You bend up, pressing a soft kiss against his lips and he gives a content sigh, his hands resting on your waist, weaving past them to your ass to draw you closer.

“I’m not afraid to say that I love you Y/N. I’m afraid it’s going to push you away.”

You pull away and smirk, before nudging your nose against his.

“Gonna have to try harder than that.”

He smiles before he places a soft kiss on your lips and sighs,

“Can we tell Lily about us?”

You don’t mean for the frown to pop up on your face but it does. You knew this was headed down this path. He had poked at ever since you both had officially started dating. He’d keep secrets from the world but his sister? No way. You knew he was only holding out because he wanted to prove to you how much he valued your opinion.

“No.”

“Your mom?”

“No.”

“….not trying to push me away you say?” he throws you a skeptical look and you laugh as you shake as you shrug, biting your lip.

“I’m not afraid to tell them it’s just….Lily….I have to be the one you know. If it comes from you she’ll be pissed.  Then you can tell my mom – she’ll be thrilled.”

You roll your eyes and he laughs and nods, placing one last kiss on your neck before pulling away.

“You’ve ruined the game closet.”

“You’ve ruined the game closet.” You repeat as you open the door, jumping and screaming as you stare down at Jack and John who are looking up at you with large, curious eyes. Jack was 4, two years older than his younger brother and they both held toys as they looked at you expectantly. The scream takes Lance off guard, and he immediately pulls you back toward him as he tries to get in front of you, before taking in his nephews. He looks back at you and you sigh as you step out, a large smile on your face.

“What are you doing in Grandma Ruth’s game closet?” Jack finally asks and you turn to Lance who is watching you in amusement.

“We were looking for a game and then your uncle Lance was showing me a new game to play.”

Lance chokes on his laughter and Jack looks from you to him skeptically.

“What game?”

You turn, your eyes looking at Lance who shakes his head.

“Hide and go seek.” He finally says and Jack rolls his eyes.

“That’s not a new game auntie Y/N.”

“For your uncle Lance it is.” You smile at him, before leaning down and picking him up, giving him a kiss on his forehead.

“Let’s go find your mommy!” you tease and he giggles as he squirms in your arms, John not too far away. Lance watches you before looking behind him at the closet. So many games and toys had fallen down and he knows it probably reeks of sex and he groans, closing the door as he makes his way back to the family room. He made a mental note to take care of the game closet first when cleaning rooms, knowing if anyone found the evidence from your lovemaking the gig was up for both of you.

“What the hell took you so long?”

Lily’s voice carries over the TV that is playing in the background as she looks up from the box of books she’s going through, her hair thrown up in a ponytail. She takes in your attire, the way your hair is a bit mused and she gives you a skeptical look as she repeats,

“What the hell took you so long? And where the hell is my brother?”

You could never get anything past Lily. She had always suspected that you still had a thing for Lance. Despite how many times you denied it she insisted that you were repressing feelings and now you felt that admitting your feelings, you would be giving into her prediction and now your pride was letting you fight the urge to tell her.

“I had to run to the bathroom, then went into the game room to grab some toys for your little men. And I don’t know where the hell your brother is.”

You shoot Jack a look and he looks at you shaking his head before he giggles and takes a spot in front of the TV. You hoped the little boy would forget anything he had seen or heard in the past fifteen minutes.

“Ah, perfect. Well change out of your cute little one piece and get ready to start the purge of Ruth Tucker.”

She gives a large sigh and you kneel in front of her and rub her back. Five months still felt too soon you knew. You had urged her to do this slowly, purging her family home, but Lily and Lance had decided that they would rent the place. The mortgage had been paid of years back and technically, it was still in their name and neither had the heart to sell it. Lance was debating moving back east and probably would eventually settle down in the place. So they would rent it out until either one of them were ready to move in.

“It’s going to be okay. And besides you got me here AND Lance. When was the last time Lance helped you clean anything?”

She shoots you a look and shrugs shaking,

“He’d say this morning. He ate all my waffles off my plate.”

You laugh and nod, before you get up and move toward Lily’s room.

“Gonna assume you left an extra set of clothes in your room and then we can get to it.”

“You’re amazing, you know that.” Lily yells and you giggle as you yell back,

“No you are!”

You change quickly, finding Lily as she sets you on the task of boxing up the kitchen and bathrooms. Easy stuff that was even easier to re-allocate. And while you’re knee deep in plates and soap, Lance is busy working with your mom boxing up the living room. He spends more time comforting her then actually packing, and its halfway through that she dismisses herself, saying she wasn’t ready for being immersed in her best friend.

Before you know it its seven, the eastern slowly waning into the horizon as you find your way into the kitchen where Lily is busy trying to figure out dinner. Lance is there, John on his laps and he doesn’t do a good enough job of giving you a once over. You had changed in shorts and a T-shirt but they were Lily’s shorts and despite being elastic since clung to your ass as the large fabric of the shirt you wore found every curve you were proud of or not. Lance loved the suppleness in you, loved that you were soft and hard and full of edges and kept taking deep breaths, trying not to keep his eyes trained on you as he strains to pay attention to his nephew. Biting his lip as he tried to keep up with the words John was saying. Lily’s looking through coupons on the counter and you take the moment to lean into the island, eyes challenging him back as you rake in his casual attire, a simple black t-shirt that hugged every bicep in his arms and jeans. You hadn’t the chance to really look at him earlier, so eager to jump his bones that you take a moment to appreciate the way he looked in the evening light. You liked it. Wondered if you could barter sex in exchange for him grabbing your night bag and doing so topless. Unable to wait for Lily and the boys to leave so you can ride him like no tomorrow. You know your eyes are drenched in your lust as he watches you, that fucking supple bottom lip hidden by how much he’s biting down on it before he pops it out and you fight back the loud moan that wants to escape as you rest your head in your hands, shaking your head in contentment.

You both were so achingly in love even you were disgusted.

“Uncle Lance – listen!” John’s voice snaps him from his gaze, and his eyes revert back to the toy the little boy was showing him and you clear your throat, rolling your eyes to meet Lily’s gaze.

“What!?” you ask and she shakes her head, shutting the island drawer before she says,

“John, go watch a movie with your brother in the living room.”

The little boy doesn’t need to be told twice as he jumps off of his uncle’s lap, eagerly running into the living room and the three of you are left alone. Lily falls back, eyes flickering to the both of you before she chuckles, shaking her head and walking to the fridge. She grabs three beers, popping one for herself before she asks,

“You guys gonna continue to bullshit me or are we going to pretend like I’m an adult and not the naïve 14 year old who doesn’t know when my brother gives my best friend fuck me eyes.”

Lance snickers as he sits up from his chair, walking to grab the two beers before he stands near you, opening yours before sliding it over. You don’t pull away as he leans close to you, knowing that really this was in your court. And whether he liked it or not, he’d act accordingly. You can’t say it though, not to Lily. This would trump everything because it would prove that she was always right. Your pride refuses to take a hit like that.

Lily snorts as she takes another swig.

“Silent treatment huh? Well how about this – Jack told me about your little game of ‘hide and go seek’ this afternoon,” your head shoots to her and she gives you knowing eyes as your eyes flicker to Lance who is raising his hands. “Uh huh. And then I went into the game closet, just to make sure that my son wasn’t making this all up and damn if it didn’t look like a fresh fuck me zone. You guys NEVER cleaned up after yourself when you fucked in that closet. Would drive mom insane. Now I know why – it’s a lot of fucking cleaning.”

“I thought you cleaned the closet!” you incredulously whine, looking at Lance and he puts his hands up defensively.

“I thought that you had cleaned the closet!” he rebuts.

“I cleaned the closet. And then allowed you both to swim in this lie until you fessed up to it.” Lily says pointedly and you moan as you place your hands in your hands, shaking your head.

“Don’t say it Lily.”

“Don’t say what?” Lance asks and Lily snickers.

“Know why she didn’t tell me – because I had pretty much suspected two weeks after the funeral. Lance was suddenly your friend on Instagram and leaving cute comments on your photos and shit. My brother doesn’t do that to women he respects, let alone likes but he’s always had a thing for you Y/N. You’re each other’s Achilles heel and I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!”

“Shut it Lily!”

“Knew that we’d get together?” Lance asks confused and Lily nods reverently.

“I told her that she loved you too way too much to be done, for good, with my dear brother Lance Tucker. And goddamn if it doesn’t’ feel good to be right because I’m usually always wrong when I challenge her but for once, for once I am right! And now she owes me an evening out to the country show of my choice OR she’s stuck with the boys for a week. And I have the luxury of being right.”

“…..you bet that you wouldn’t fall back in love with me?” Lance asks incredulously and yo moan into your hands, so annoyed for so many reason.

“I hate Tuckers. I hate you both sooooooo much.”

He chuckles, wrapping his arms around your body and drawing you close to him. 

“Well look at it this way. I’ll be around to help you nanny because you’d be dumb to commit yourself to the piss poor country music my sister will subjugate you too.”

You let out a low moan, before you pop your head up, looking him in the eye before asking him softly,

“Wait – why are you going to be around to help me nanny?”

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[skeletonwoman]

4. Silent Night

Blaise Zabini COMIN @ YA LADIES AND GENLEMENS (I Rly heckin like this one)

You stare at the snow longingly before starting toward the Slytherin common room. Nothing wrong with being a Slytherin- except the cold common room, the bad attitude of your house members, the Gryffindor bullying, the subtle dislike from all the teachers (even your own stupid house head teacher) and the fact that you sleep in the “dungeon” like you’re some kind of criminal.

Can’t they just change the name? Not every castle has to have dungeons.

Whatever, all the Gryffindor’s saw out their windows is dumb sky and ground. At least you’ve got a view of the dangerous depths. Mostly dark but some days when it’s truly sunny, shafts of light slice through the darkness and sometimes you wonder if you’ve ever seen anything so magnificent.

“Y/N,” someone called and you blinked, focusing on Pansy. “I’m heading out, you all good?”

You’d decided to spend Christmas alone this year. Why? You didn’t actually have an answer for that. Waltzing across the room, you collapsed gracefully onto one of the lounges. 

“I’m great,” you beamed and Pansy smirked deviously, she knew that your extra happy face was your most useful cover for regret, embarrassment, pretty much any unsavoury emotion that could start a conflict.

“I’m not going to offer to stay but I could put off leaving,” she says, obligatory but still affectionate.

“Of course not, but be sure to give your brother my best.” You wink playfully and she wrinkles her nose in disgust. Not your fault he was the most dreamy man you’d ever met- and you’d met many dreamy men.

“I will do the absolute opposite,” she says decisively and you pout playfully. Either way, her brother’s going to be sending you a letter soon and on some Hogsmeade trip, in the next month, you’re going to end up bumping into him.

Hogsmeade is such a popular travel destination and all that rot.

“Zabini is staying behind too, his mothers in Scandanavia and he said he can’t be bothered to run up there for a two night trip then run all the way back so look out for him,” Pansy adds and you sigh. Blaise is dreamy too, it’s just he’s got such a bad attitude. Pasquale Parkinson, on the other hand, is incredibly even tempered- and outgoing, kind, flirtatious, well meaning and always ready for a no strings attached good time.

You’d never even seen Blaise shirtless (and you’ve seen all of the Slytherin boys shirtless as well as half of the other houses). He avoided you like the plague and you had no qualms with keeping things that way. He had nothing new, nothing impressive.

“Fantastic, what do you bet me that I won’t see him once?” You grin and Pansy relaxes, tapping her chin with her index finger.

“Ten knuts that you have one meal together then avoid each other like the plague until the end of the holiday.”

“Ooooh, high stakes,” you tease and she scowls at you. “I’ll match that with… He and I pass each other once a day but we don’t speak once.”

“Fantastic. Oh! Draco, get over here!”

From your position on the couch, you roll your head back to spot Draco gracefully stepping off the stairs to the boys dorms.

“Parkinson?” His voice is soft, as it always is when there isn’t anyone to impress around.

“We’re placing bets on Y/N’s holidays, would you like to make a prediction?”

The softest, subtlest line forms between his brows, betraying his confusion and you take pity on him.

“Pansy says Blaise and I share a meal then won’t speak for the rest of the holidays and avoid each other like the plague. I say that we won’t even do that, we won’t speak once. Ten knuts either way.”

Draco hums, pacing to Pansys side and she leans against him. Just the smallest curl of jealousy wriggles in your chest at the sight of their obvious affection. They’re not a couple or anything but they’re close and comfortable with each other.

“By the time we get back the two of you will be close enough to be cuddling on the couches of this very room.”

The statement silences both you and Pansy and you gape at him.

“Draco,” Pansy starts.

“I don’t-” you agree and you both laugh. “That’s incredibly unlikely, Malfoy.”

“It’s my money,” he says with a careless shrug and you blink at him but he’s right.

“Uh… Okay, yeah… Well, good luck.” You smirk and Pansy snickers.

“Shall we?” Draco asks her, gesturing to stairs that lead up to the castle. Pansy nods at him before stepping toward you and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“I’ll see you in a few days, okay? Don’t starve.”

You grin at her words and she smiles a tiny smile.

“Have a lovely holiday,” you say, shooing them away and Draco nods to you.

That first night, you see Blaise sitting in the empty common room as you head up to dinner.

Neither of you speak.

The next morning, you find yourself sitting beside the fire and staring into the black depths of the lake. There is no light today, and there won’t be any for a long time. Not until winter releases her hold.

Perhaps it’ll freeze over and you can skate, not that you have any skates here but you’re sure there’s a spell to conjure blades or something.

Blaise tromps down the stairs, silent and carrying a cloud grumpiness, but you don’t look up.

You wonder absently if Pasquale is thinking of you, all alone here in a big drafty castle. 

Suddenly, it hits you.

The room of requirement. The lost things room of requirement. That entire room is full of amazing stuff.

Leaping to your feet, you notice Blaise startle out of the corner of your eye. Grinning wildly, you bound for the stairs and up.

You stare at the black dress before you entranced. There’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do and this is exactly the dress for it. Throwing it over your shoulder and choking on dust, you continue to search the room.

You don’t notice a shadow. Nor do you care that you’re covered in dust, choking and leaking tears all over your cheeks.

At the end of your expedition, your haul is a candelabra, the dress, a giant trunk of books and a very old and possibly unsalvageable pearl coat.

It takes you an hour to get the trunk of books to the door, which you then decide that it’ll be easier if you just leave it there and take a few books at a time.

Gathering several of the leather bound volumes, you stagger out the door and inhale grateful lungful’s of the clear hallway air.

It’s after midnight when you finally don the magically cleaned and resized dress. Scooping up the lit candelabra with its new candles, you trot down the stairs in your practice high heels (long story) then up into the rest of the castle.

Once you reach a suitably darkened hallway, you straighten your shoulders then start pacing forward and wailing awfully. It takes a few tries for you to find the correct note but once you’ve got it you’re ready to expire with the drama of it all.

Portraits cower, ghosts duck out of the way, and you drip candlewax all over the castle and cry at the top of your lungs.

And by the time you return to the Slytherin common room you’ve lost your voice and gained the confidence of hours of screaming into the night. 

The books turn out to be diaries and that’s all you need to decide you need the entire trunkful.

They’re not terribly interesting but they’re set in seventeen ninety so you’re not uninterested.

And that’s where Blaise finds you next. Dragging a heavy trunk down the Slytherin stairs, grunting and sweaty. Wordlessly, he moves you out of the way and takes over, sliding it against the wall of the common room.

“Hhh…” You try, grimacing as you recall your lost voice. “Hhh…”

Frowning, you snatch up the closest blank scrap of paper and quill and quickly pen him a note.

Thank you, lost my voice.

Handing it over, you watch a smirk curl the corner of his mouth before he looks back up at you and nods once. You smile back before kneeling before the trunk and starting to unload the books.

You can feel him standing beside you and you hold out a hand for the paper in his hand, still unloading books. When it’s slipped into your hand, you grab the quill once more and scrawl on the back.

Need to put them in order, they’re diaries, want to help?

Handing back the paper, you return to digging out the books. Seconds later, you see Blaise opening the covers of the books that you’ve already set out and laying them in a type of order.

That afternoon, you sit across the common room from Blaise reading. You’re both immersed in your own diaries, looking for anything interesting. And when you do find something, you wave it for him to see. He does the same, interestingly, though he still hasn’t said a word.

He’s a bit rude that way.

Daemon has kissed me twice. Father would have my head did he know I was kissing men that weren’t my betrothed but Daemon loves me, he whispers it to me as we dance and promises it in letters. He sends them under the address of Peony Vance. He must love me. And I know he isn’t our sort but I love him too. I wish I could marry him but even this rebellion chokes the air from my throat sometimes, I could not truly disobey my father and ruin myself.

Grinning, you wave the book at Blaise who looks up. Rising, he cross to your side and you tap the passage with shaking shoulders. His brow is furrowed as he reads and you watch the smallest twitch turn up his lips. When he looks back up, you’re blinded by the clarity of his dark eyes and you feel your cheeks warm.

When he goes to return to his seat, you tug on his shirt and give him a look. It’s pointless to sit on different lounges if you’re just going to be moving about so much. You see him hesitate before he sinks back onto the cushion beside yours.

You spend another late night wailing endlessly- it’s too fun to just give up. And you only have a few nights to enjoy it.

You never see your shadow but you do feel something that wasn’t there last night. Instead, you chalk it up to the skill of experience.

When Blaise comes down from his dorm, you offer him a page of parchment.

Still no voice, not contagious though. Want to read with me again?

His lips twitch as he reads it and you can’t decipher the look in his eyes but you grin when he nods anyway. You’re surprisingly glad.

Snatching back the page, you scrawl another line and offer it to him again.

Tomorrow is Christmas, want to eat dinner together?

He pauses over this and stares at you for a long moment. You’d be uncomfortable if you hadn’t been screaming into the night last night. At this point, you’re not embarrassed by a little staring.

He nods once and you grin at him. Then the strangest thing happens, he ducks his head and looks away.

You blink at the movement, feeling strangely disconnected. It’s a familiar move, you’ve seen Daphne Greengrass employ it on the Hufflepuff boys but… On Blaise it seems real, not a tool like when Daphne uses it.

And then you flush. Because that was incredibly dreamy.

And you don’t think of Pasquale all day.

Curled up on the sofa, your feet in Blaises lap, you stare at the page before you.

Her mother has died.

And you can see tear stains and feel your chest caving.

Sniffling, you roughly wipe your eyes and try to focus. Then a warm palm squeezes your ankle. Looking up, you see the question in Blaises eyes and the concern in the set of his mouth. Sitting up, you offer him the open book and sigh. Shuffling closer, you set your forehead on his shoulder as he reads and you feel his palm cup your knee comfortingly.

A gentle squeeze has you sitting up and when you meet his eyes, he nods. Nodding back, you take back the book and prepare to shuffle back when his hand grips your knee tightly. Frowning, your eyes trace up his arm, over his shoulders and to his face and a blush rises in your cheeks. Shuffling a touch closer, you set your head back on his shoulder and relax against him.

The next morning, you wake him by jumping on his bed. Your voice isn’t coming back soon after last nights croaking cries, so you grip the stack of notes closely as he glares at you from his sheets. Flopping down beside him, you offer note after note and watch him.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

He smiles a little.

I WANT DESSERT FOR BREAKFAST.

He chuckles softly.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN.

He turns to you, pillow smushing half of his face and a brightness in his eyes. So far, this is the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on his face.

Can we do snow games?

He nods once at his and holds his hand out for another note.

Sledding?

Another nod.

Snow creature making?

A dubious nod.

Do you think the lake is frozen? Do you have skates? Do you think it’s skateable?

He shakes his head and you sigh, wriggling closer to his side until he sets an arm under your neck and pulls you into his side.

Merry Christmas again.

He huffs a laugh.

Dinner tonight?

He nods again and you beam at him. A completely honest unreservedly delighted expression.

What do we do today?

You wait for this one and he hums softly before starts tugging at his blankets. Wriggling about, you find yourself under the blanket and pulled up against Blaises warm bare chest. Looking up at him, you wrinkle your brow and he smiles. Hugging you tight, he sighs a tired breath and closes his eyes once more. And you find yourself closing your eyes with him, your head on his warm shoulder with the sound of his heartbeat lulling you.

Glaring at Blaise, you shoot a spell at his chest and he gapes, dodging to the left and glaring furiously. Until a giant pack of snow showers over his beanied head and you croak a loud laugh.

When you finally see his eyes again, he’s glaring but you can tell he isn’t truly angry. So you scoop up a ball of snow and peg it at his chest.

Then he’s staring open mouthed and racing for you. The choked shriek that parts your lips is so pathetic your cheeks burn as you duck around a tree, only to be lifted into the air and dropped into a snow drift. Blaise stands above you looking triumphant and you growl, kicking his feet from under him and watching him fall down beside you.

Sitting up, you shove snow at him, trying your quickest to bury him as he pushes it away and launches at you.

The drifts are deep enough that you’re entirely white coated by the time the two of you still your rolling and wrestling. Grinning up at Blaise, who holds himself above you, you reach up and push his beanie off his eyebrows. He smirks down at you and for a second you consider that you could kiss. You could kiss Blaise Zabini.

Then he pushes himself off you and offers you his hand.

Taking it gratefully, you blink at the shadows around you. You hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. You blink at Blaise and he nods. He hadn’t noticed either.

Trudging back to the castle, you bump each other playfully as you tromp snow through the halls and the stairways.

By the time you reach the Slytherin common room, you’re almost completely melted.

Pausing, you catch Blaises jacket and pull him up. Pointing to the floor, you hold up ten fingers and he nods once more, grinning. Then you part ways.

Throwing on your thickest pyjamas and slippers, you race back down to the common room and grin at Blaises pyjama pants and hoodie combo.

Snatching his hand without breaking stride, you tug him up the steps. It’s only once you reach the hallway that you leap onto his back, clinging to him as he glares at you over his shoulder. You press a warm kiss to his temple when he starts walking and he huffs a loud exhale.

Stretching out under Blaises blankets, you feel your butt slide against something hard and a flush burns your face and neck as you realize what you’ve just brushed up against. Blaise grunts in his sleep and his arm tightens around your waist.

Thankfully, he stays asleep and you carefully extricate yourself from his warm embrace. Tiptoeing over the icy stone, you escape the boys dormitories and return to your own room to change for the day.

Everyones returning today and you’re not sure if it’s a good thing.

“Hello,” you murmur to yourself, testing your voice and sighing gratefully at the lack of pain. Donning the last of your thick outfit, you escape to the Great Hall for breakfast.

By the time nine am has rolled around the school is teeming with students and as you sneak back to the common room, you’re accosted by Pansy.

“Well?” She asks immediately and you laugh.

“Well, what?”

“Our bet?”

Then you remember the bets. Looking about the common room awkwardly, you spot Blaise tromping down the steps from his dormitory and you beam. Perfect.

“Zabini!” You call, and his head whips up in surprise. A smile quirks the corner of his lips and he pads over. When your gaze returns to Pansy you can see her surprise. “Can you surmise what happened while everyone else was gone, Blaise?”

He coughs awkwardly for a moment. “Uh. We hung out.”

“Did we speak?”

“You lost your voice?” He frowns at you, confusion evident and you nod.

Draco pops up on Pansys other side, turning your triangle into a square and you grimace. You hadn’t wanted to answer this bet.

“Shall we sit?” Draco says before anyone else can speak and you open your mouth to speak but you  can’t.

Blaise frowns but moves to the lounges all the same and automatically, you seat yourself on the other side of his lounge and set your feet on his lap.

“I win!” Draco shouts, delight in every line of his face and you scowl dangerously.

“Do not!” You shout back automatically and Draco laughs.

“Y/N?” Blaise says, his voice hard and you swallow. Pansys shocked expression hasn’t changed since your familiar greeting with the boy you’re now sitting beside. But Blaise looks increasingly annoyed.

“Sorry, Pansy bet that you and I would have dinner together then never speak again. I bet we would see each other every day but not exchange a word. Draco outrageously said we’d be cuddling by the end of the break.” You grimace. “I didn’t lose my voice on purpose, I swear.”

“I know,” he says, a strange look on his face and you exhale a relieved sigh.

“Pansy loses, and Draco also mostly loses cause we weren’t cuddling.”

“If Draco mostly lost then Pansy mostly won. We technincally didn’t speak after dinner,” Blaise counters and you gape at him.

“Well you don’t get any money for mostly anything. Pay up, snakes,” you order, holding out a hand. Before either of your friends can reach for their pockets, Blaise has tugged your hand back and is staring at you again.

“But you can’t win either, because you accidentally rigged it in your favour.”

“I did no such thing!”

“Your wording implies we wouldn’t hang out together, we did. You all lose.”

The words crack through Pansys surprised façade and she grins at Blaise. Draco chuckles and you scowl.

“Rude, Zabini,” you hiss and he smirks at you, his hand still holding yours.

in case its unclear, the night they sleepover together is ENTIRELY innocent ok cool thanks 

[so-langelo]

trails of petals lead me back to you

An anon asked for a flower shop au (well kinda not rlly but I got inspired to write this) and here it is!!

I have been super inactive and everytime I sat down to write I just couldn’t. I’m so very sorry guys. Forgive me... 

hope ya’ll like this one

ari xxx

At first, Nico thought it was an accident. 

Because no one gave him flowers. 

Someone must have accidentally put the flowers on his locker door. It was probably an honest mistake.

But that didn’t stop Nico from keep the sweet smelling bouquet of red tulips and yellow pansies.  Nico didn’t have the heart to throw them in the trash, so he handed them to his sister Hazel after school, who brightened and gave Nico a bone-crushing hug. 

The next day, coming from his final class, Nico had another bouquet, now of daisies and peonies, on his locker door. 

Again? 

He gently took the flowers off of his locker, careful not to damage them. 

The flowers’ aroma filled Nico’s nostrils, while confused thoughts filled his head. 

Either this person leaving these flowers was an idiot for putting them on the wrong locker twice, or was an idiot that actually likes Nico. 

No. That’s impossible. 

Nico crushed the thought before his heart got any other ideas. 

Plus, he wasn’t interested in anyone right now. 

Except for a tall, blond, caring, funny, charming, compassionate boy named Will Solace. But Will couldn’t be the one giving him flowers. 

Yet, Nico’s damn heart couldn’t help, but flutter at the thought. 

Everyday for a week, Nico had a bouquet on his locker. Everyday was a new bouquet. He had a collection at home of chrysanthemums, wax flowrers, orchids, and more. He honestly didn’t know where to put them anymore. 

He told his friends about his so-called ‘secret admirer.’ Hazel wouldn’t stop squealing and jumping. Annabeth and Piper thought it was absoluetly adorable. Jason and Percy threatened to beat the person up if they even laid a finger on him.

But throughout the week Will showed no signs of him ever being the one leaving the flowers. 

Not that Nico was hoping or anything. 

Okay, maybe he was. Maybe. 

It was finally Friday, last class of the day, and Nico had a goal. 

His secret admirer’s identity has been bugging him all week. 

He was finally going to find out today. His heart raced in his chest as he interupted Ms. Peterson’s droning voice about the color symbolisms in The Great Gatsby to go to the bathroom. 

Nico sprinted to the hall where his locker was.

His locker door was bare, so the person wasn’t here yet. Nico hid not too far away with a clear sight of the locker. He waited. He waited so long that ms. Peterson might have thought that he ditched class. He waited so long that he thought maybe the person wasn’t coming today. 

Just as he was about stand up and return to class. Footsteps approached him and a voice called to him. “Nico?”

Nico’s heart dropped to his stomach. He quickly turned around to face the owner of the voice, desperately trying to hide his blush. 

There stood in all his glory, Will Solace, with an adorably confused face and his golden hair so messy that Nico just wanted to run his fingers through it. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class? Are you fufilling your bad boy image now?”, Will smirked. 

“I’m already a bad boy. What are you talking about, Solace?” Nico said, hoping Will couldn’t hear his pounding heart. 

“Whatever you say, Hot Topic.” Will smiled at him.

Damn that smile.

“How about you, Solace? What are you doing out of class?”, Nico said, turning the conversation back to Will, trying to distract from his blooming lush. 

Will’s face turned crimson. “N-Nothing. Just went to go to the bathroom. To wash my hands.”

Nico raised an eyebrow, while trying to hide his smile. “Well, enjoy washing your hands, Solace.” He waved and lightly jogged back to English, leaving a red faced Will right by his locker. 

The bell finally rung, and Ms. Peterson sent them off to have a fun weekend. 

Nioc gathered his stuff and was stil smiling from the encounter with Will Solace. 

He walked to his locker, expecting the flowers on it’s door, but got another surprise. 

There in front of his locker stood Will Solace, his face matching the single red rose he was holding. 

Nico swears that his whole world froze for a second. The moment Will’s cyan eyes met his time slowed down. 

Because, holy hell, Will was his secret admirer. 

Will liked him. 

Will had been giving him flowers for a week. 

Nico felt like he was going to faint. 

Nico appraoched the gorgeous boy and looked up to him. Nico didn’t care if he looked like a lovesick idiot, because as of this moment he was. 

“So... It was you.”, Nico said, his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“Y-yeah, and this is for you.” Will handed him the rose; their fingers brushed. 

Nico held the rose like it was the most precious thing in the universe. “Thank you.”

“Nico, I really really like you.” Will blurted. His face turning an even deeper shade of red. 

“Yeah, I really really like you too.” Nico beamed at Will. 

“Good, because my aunt was really worried about me because I was buying a lot of flowers. Did I mention I’m allergic to flowers?” Will would have rambled on forever, but Nico, in a swift motion while muttering, “Shut up, idiot.”, connected their lips. 

The rose, intertwined in Nico’s hands, served it’s purpose. 

UGFH SUPER CUTE. EXCPECT ME TO WRITE MORE THIS WEEK BC I HAVE A WEEK OFF FROM SCHOOL YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

UGH I LOVED THIS 

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT 

TO THE PEOPLE WHO LEVA ECOMMENTS BELOW YOU GUYS ARE THE ABSOLUET BEST AND I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART THOUSANDS OF FLOWRS AND CHOCLAT E TO YOU.

Flower Meanings: 

Red Tulips: “I declare my love.”

Yellow Pansies: “Thinking of you.”

Chrysanthemums: love

Wax Flower: Lasting Love, Patience

Orchids: Love & Beauty

Red Rose: Love & Passion

HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT 

Ari xxx

[fille-lioncelle]

A very long ask meme

I mean, @towonderland72 should really know better than to ask me to ramble, but she taggled me in this soooo

O N E

1) Name: I have one || Nickname: H, most recently.

2) Zodiac sign: *points at avatar* Leo

3) Height: 1,70m ... almost || Orientation: east, currently, I think? .... pan/bi

4) Ethnicity: central European white

5) Favourite fruit: Generally I think red fruit tend to be my favourites - cherries, strawberries, raspberries. But I love apples too, and pears, and apricots omg and peaches are great and kiwi!! ORANGES!! Grapes are great also. Bananas - delicious. Fucking mangos are a revelation. I don’t much like papaya, but that’s the only one I’ve come across I really didn’t like so far || Favourite Skam season: ... is this related to the fruit question? Anyway, season 3.

6) Favourite book: Come on. Do people really have favourite books? || Favourite flower: roses or peonies probably but I also love poppies and cornflowers (FUCK German nationalists for ruining a perfectly lovely flower) and dahlias. And buttercups!

7) Favorite scent: freshly rained on warm earth, the sea, things baking, roses, vanilla

8) Favorite animal: cats (especially lions), hummingbirds, deer

9) Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa?: yes

10) Average hours of sleep: theoretically, 7-9 but in practice I’m terrible at keeping to a sleeping schedule

11) Cats or dogs?: cats

12) Favorite fictional character: I wouldn’t really say Harry Potter is my favourite fictional character but the attachment I have to that character is pretty singular

13) Dream trip: I used to be a little bit scared of travelling, actually - new places, languages I don’t speak, risk - but now I’m kinda sinking into a “all of it I want to see everything” thing so *wistful sigh* a river cruise maybe, though I’d like it to be on a rented house boat type thing with people whose company I enjoy (along the Loire maybe or somewhere in Scandinavia)

14) When was your blog created?: 2010 I think

15) What do you post about? whatever the fuck I want, but mostly fandom stuff and interesting humanity stuff and food

16) Do you get asks on a regular basis? nope

17) Aesthetic: femme and glamour but also a bit (a lot) hipsterish with the glasses and the knit jumpers and such - how can anyone live with only one aesthetic?! I find your commitment and singular-mindedness frightening in its intensity of direction

18) Favorite band/ artist?: I don’t know.

19) Fictional character I’d date: One date? The list is way too long.

20) Hogwarts house: Gryffindor. I’m on brand like that.

T W O

1) Countries I’ve lived in: just this one

2) Favourite fandom: I don’t know - maybe SKAM, maybe Merlin.

3) Languages you speak: German and English, a little bit of French, less Italian, and technically I used to be okay at reading Latin. So between that I can read basic Spanish and sometimes I can guess at super basic Scandinavian languages because Germanic languages and four seasons of skam (texts)

4) Favourite film of 2017: Call Me By Your Name, probably. Also Wonder Woman. Lady Bird was also great. And I really did like Dunkirk very much.

5) Last article you read: I just read an interview with Ben Whishaw, does that count?

6) Shuffle your music library and put your first three songs here: I’m gonna do this with my spotify collection cause I am a lazy person and I don’t actually have digital access to my rl collection rn. “The Winner Takes It All” - ABBA; “COOL” - Troye Sivan; “Hotter Than Hell” - Dua Lipa

7) Last thing you bought online: I think the Dunkirk screenplay?

8) How would your friends describe you? Writes a lot, loves #discourse more than is bearable, likes baking and cooking.

9) How would your enemies describe you? I’m unaware of having enemies? But if you know some, ask them.

10) Who would you take a bullet for? It’s nice that you think I’m fast enough to make that a decision. If I were, then I’d like to think a whole lot of people. Any child, pretty much. Definitely my little sister. Most anyone I care about. I’d usually rather I be shot. I mean, you didn’t say it’s a lethal bullet...

I’m gonna be extra lazy and do one of those “consider yourself tagged if you wanna do it” things.

[alwaysanotherooc]

uhh hi if you're still doing the angst thing can you do becca x mc??? if you ship them ? Idk (: thanks !💛

YES, I CAN, YOU SWEET SUMMER FLOWER. I love Becca so much, are you kidding me?????? YES. This is gonna be fun! As usual, find it under the cut!Send me a Choices couple and I’ll answer angsty questions about them!

Do they have a lot of arguments? Becca starts a lot of arguments in the beginning of their relationship, or at least she tries to. SHe’s not used to the whole ‘healthy and loving relationship’ thing but she’s really into it, but it’s still scary and new. And MC will just take a deep breath, remind herself that her girlfriend is working on it and doesn’t mean it, and then they move on. Other times, MC snaps right back at Becca and it ends up in a huge painful mess.

Who apologizes first, and in what way? They take turns, depending on who said the most hurtful things. When MC apologizes she brings Becca white peonies (her favorite flowers) and a couple shades of lipstick from Sephora. When Becca apologizes she sits MC down and tells her a secret about her past as a make-up present, because MC lives for hearing about Becca’s past and Becca’s not usually up to it.

Who has more insecurities? Becca, she knows that MC could get anybody she wanted, and she’s worried that MC will leave her. Meanwhile, sometimes MC is worried Becca will get bored of her and leave.

Who gets more riled up? Becca, especially when it comes to someone insulting MC or any their friends. (Because as vehemently as she’ll deny it, she loves those dorks too now and they’re her friends as well.)

How do they hide their pain when they’re upset? Becca hides her pain through forced snobbery and a practiced uncaring demeanor. MC hides her hurt by faking that she’s ok, she’s happy, she’s FINE, really, and won’t talk about it.

Who tries to make up first? Becca will almost immediately come running back to MC after storming out and starts apologizing, MC will take a little longer but not much.

Would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? Depends on how serious of an argument they’re having, but my gut feeling is no.

Do they hold grudges? Becca can hold grudges like you wouldn’t freaking believe. She’s the Queen of Petty.

Is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed? If MC showed even slight interest in someone else, Becca would try to pack up and leave, not wanting to wait around until MC dumped her. But after the first few times MC explained she’s never leaving Becca for some rando in a bar and that she loves her, Becca’s more willing to trust her

If something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? Depends on who was in the wrong. If Becca was in the wrong, she’ll agree to talk as openly and honestly with MC as she wants about why she did what she did/said what she said/how she’s feeling. If MC was in the wrong, she agrees to give Becca some space for a bit if that’s what she needs, but reminds her that MC’s still in this, if Becca is, and that reassurance is enough for Becca.

What’s their favorite pastime when they’re upset? MC is a very tactile person, and when she’s upset that DOUBLES, which Becca pretends to hate but actually loves, as Becca is pretty touch starved. When Becca’s upset, the two of them will make one of their friends bring them Starbucks and have a Spa Day together, binge watching Project Runway while Becca scoffs at the outfits.

Who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other)? MC confides in all of their best friends, she never asks for the opinion of just one person, and Becca is just as tight with Madison as ever.

Is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? For Becca, it’s the hardest thing she’s ever had to do, talking openly and honestly with someone. MC is much better at it and is pretty patient.

Who grieves more when the other is away? Becca. She’s consistently worried about MC leaving her, and then all her friends following suit because she’s afraid the only reason any of them put up with her is because of MC.

Who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more? I wanna say Becca, she gets very lonely, but also MC is very attached to Becca, so they miss each other the same: A Lot.

Do either of them have a special item (an article of clothing, a necklace, a book) that they use when they miss the other? Becca gave MC this platinum rose pendant for their one-year anniversary, and it’s become a comfort object for MC. MC gave Becca this charm bracelet after they started dating, and buys her a new charm when ever she feels like it. It helps Becca to feel like MC’s always with her.

Who cries more? MC, Becca hardly ever lets herself cry.

Do either of them have the other’s stuff lying around their house? Becca threw a fit the first time MC left something at her place, but when MC came to get it Becca tackled her onto the bed and MC just ended up leaving more stuff, so MC caught on and lets Becca make this whole big deal about what a horrible burden it is to have to deal with this extra stuff but knows that Becca actually loves it. Becca would leave stuff at MC’s place, but she’s worried about not having something if she needs it. Fashion Emergencies are alive and well and Becca needs all her tools to fight them off.

Do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)? They tried it, it doesn’t end well. Occasionally, Becca will roll her eyes and tease MC for being such a sap about something and MC will just smile back and say, “Yeah, cause my girlfriend is too” and then they end up kissing.

Do either of them have any vices? I thought about this and you know what? I think Becca has a shopping vice in the sense that she uses it to decompress.

What’s the thing they miss most about each other? Becca misses the way MC just acts so free all the time, like she doesn’t care what anyone says or thinks about her. MC misses the way that Becca can shut down anyone who’s being an asshole in .0001 seconds flat, and the way Becca holds her hand with a smile like she can’t quite believe her luck.

What’s their go-to breakup/angst song? For MC it’s ‘Colors’ by Halsey, for Becca it’s ‘Tore Up’ by Kehlani.

Who’s more jealous? Becca can get jealous really quick, but surprisingly it’s not about Chris or Zig or Kaitlyn or James, because Becca knows that all of them have put that behind them, Becca gets jealous of the people in bars who stare at MC, because she doesn’t know them and she’s worried about the fact that they could be better than her.

Who is the first to forgive? MC is so quick to forgive it’s not even funny.

What’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)? Lack of communication 100% on Becca’s side, because she’s worried about MC breaking her trust in her.

Who would take longer to let go? Becca. By FAR. But MC still hasn’t forgotten the first time she and Becca met and Becca spilled her coffee on her. Becca’s so embarrassed by that now...

Which is more afraid of confrontation? MC by a lot. Becca’s never afraid to be confrontational, but MC is terrified of it.

Who’s the first to distance themselves (if either)? Becca. Poor sweet baby sometimes needs space to think and process what she’s feeling.

Who’s more patient? MC is very patient, she’s content to wait for eternity for Becca to be comfortable enough to do whatever it is she’s not comfortable with yet.

Who’s the first to blame themselves? MC, she has a habit of self-blaming.

Who’s more likely to do something out of spite? Becca, she is the Queen of Petty Spite and she will smite the ever loving HECK out of you.

Who would be the first to say they hate the other? Becca might, in the beginning of their relationship, mutter it under her breath after a fight, but after catching sight of how MC looks after she says it she never says it again, because she doesn’t mean it, it was just meant to hurt her, but she didn’t want to hurt her that much.

Who worries more? MC worries about everything, she never stops. Meanwhile, Becca, on the other hand, has actually said, “I could just...pay for the problem to go away.”

What scent reminds them of the other? MC smells like cherries, Becca smells like high-end luxury perfume.

Do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)? Becca regrets not going after MC sooner, MC regrets how long it took them to get together too.

Who’s quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated? Becca, she storms out a lot.

Who is more prone to anger? Becca is, but she’s working on it.

Who cries more in an argument? MC, she’ll cry when they’re arguing.

Does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling? Actually, yeah. Usually, if they’re fighting so badly that they’re yelling it’s because of a LOT of build up towards it.

Who sleeps on the couch after an argument? Technically they both do because MC wants to give Becca her space so she’ll go stay with friends, and Becca can’t sleep in their bed without MC anymore so she’ll sleep on the couch.

Who’s more likely to protect the other? Becca will cut you if you come near MC, and MC will NOT HESITATE if you threaten Becca. Yes, MC is kind of a scaredy cat, but that flies out the window when it comes to Becca.

If one of them gets injured, who worries more? Becca goes completely distraught when MC breaks her leg one year, can’t be consoled. “You’re dying!” “Becca, it’s not even that bad-” “Your bones are fragile because you’re poor! I can’t be a widow before I’m married!”

Who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm? Becca is worried sick whenever she thinks about MC getting hurt or getting sick in any way, shape or form, because it’s not something you can buy your way out of. MC is confident that if she can make her worst enemy from Freshman year of college fall in love with her, they can get through anything.

Who ends up yelling first? Becca, sometimes she’ll snap and shout something at MC and then realize immediately what an overreaction it was and just sigh. MC thinks it’s a little funny.

Who would be more likely to save who? In a life or death situation, probably MC would be a hair faster at defending Becca.

Who stays up at night brooding? Becca. “It’s not brooding, I’m just busy!” “Bec, you’ve been staring at the wall for two hours. Come to bed, we’re ok.”

Who has more dreams/nightmares about the other? Becca used to not dream a whole lot, and then she started dating MC, and that changed. She has very pleasant dreams now. MC actually discovered her interest in Becca through a dream of an...X-Rated nature.

Who comforts who after a bad dream/event? MC is the Queen of Comforting people. (Seriously, somebody give this girl a crown, she’s the Ultimate Mom Friend)

Do they think about each other a lot? Short answer: Yes. Long answer: If you think that either one of these girls can STOP thinking about each other ever in their lives HO BOY YOU’RE WRONG-

If one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? Becca would come back to MC, most likely after taking a very long break (week or two) to examine her feelings after an intense moment in the relationship. It’d be a happy reunion. XD

This was the BEST I love Becca, she’s amazing. Thank you so much!

[storiesbyaya]

Story of A Hero- 23

{First}{Previous}{Mobile}{Next} Jazz was sitting on Will and the twins’ table monday at Lunch. She held a mysterious cardboard box on her lap and, for a moment, Will was confused…

Until he saw the familiar green lightning bolt logo. Instead of confused, he became excited, and nearly bounded over to the box. Jazz grinned at him, but continued to hold it close even as he approached. “So… Weird thing, but my sister came outta her room this morning. She gave me this. Made me promise not to let anyone but you touch what’s in it. And then, she ate breakfast with me and walked me to the bus. I don’t know what this thing is, and I don’t care. But I know you did something, and because of it, I got to see my sister, and hear her laugh and stuff. So whatever this is? You take good care of it.” She spoke with a serious tone, yet also seemed happy. Will was happy for her.

He nodded. “I know you said you don’t care to know, but… that box likely has my parents’ research,” he explained. “Oh,” Jazz said, understanding blooming on her face. She gave him a cheerful smile. “Explains why it’s so important… And why she’d only trust you with it.” Even though she didn’t know Will, as far as Jazz was aware. He held the box with the same care she had. “She trusted you with it, too. I think that’s a good thing?” “I think so too.” Their conversation ended when Percy and Lily arrived. She rejoined her table, and they ate together. It was hard to concentrate through the rest of the day, with the anticipation and fear all welling up at once. What could it contain?

-x-x-x

The box contained an external harddrive, as well as a note, written in green glitter pen. William decided to start with that first.

“Fun fact,” it read “A friend of mine has ‘Anaesthesia Awareness’. Waking up during the herein described procedures caused damage to his Adex. (Read up on subject KX-023) This break is what allowed us to break free.

I believe in you, William.  Let the mistakes of our past become the tools to build a better future.

Tessa Nickols (xxx-xxx-xxxx. Let me know if you need any more help. Give my number to Kat too. I miss that brat.)

PS- For privacy reasons, many names and faces have been redacted. Hope you understand.

PPS- Hard drive password is your sister’s middle name.”

Diana. The password was Diana. William wondered if that was done by Tessa or by his parents, but he only wondered briefly.

The amount of stuff here was… Intimidating. He didn’t even know where to start. He had to take a deep breath and center himself to even try to tackle this. Maybe… weed out the unnecessary stuff? Grant applications. Letters to investors. A bunch of other money related things. That was irrelevant to his studies. It went into a special folder. Just in case. Facility descriptions… As the document began with nothing but maps of the facility, William was going to ignore it, until he noticed that there were several pages. The building only had four floors, if he remembered correctly. There should only be four pages, if it was nothing but maps.

“As this is a foreign field of research, much of our equipment has required upgrades, and some custom equipment has been needed to advance our research.”

The section below the maps continued on, describing what kind of upgrades and changes had been made to existing equipment. It was all incredibly fascinating to William, but one very specific section caught his attention.

It described, in great detail, a special instrument created to measure and observe resonance.

“Tests have revealed that Adex exude a special energy. It has been named “resonance” due to the way it reacts within human subjects. With this, resonance can be observed and measured. This advance has increased the success rate of forced symbiosis to 98.7% Forcing symbiosis with two subjects who’s resonances do not match almost always results in MEIR-Type entities, and/or loss of one or both subjects. Forcing symbiosis with a subject that exudes no resonance at all results in failure 100% of the time.”

“So resonance has… types. And this thing they made shows them in different colors,” he said to himself, and scribbled this fact into a notebook. To his surprise, Imshael hopped onto his desk. “Hello,” they greeted, before curling into a ball near the keyboard. “I want to help.” “You… want to… help?” William repeated, confused. The words themselves were not confusing, but rather the ‘who’ they were spoken by. Even after the first time he’d heard Imshael during training, they’d still stayed so quiet Will almost forgot they COULD speak. “Well, yes. Bayesh and I feel I may have answers to questions you might have. I am, after all, an Adex. You’d assume I would know a few things about myself.” “I think assuming that would be kind of silly. Humans have to learn about their bodies, I’m sure you guys do, too. But...unlike us, there is no school for adex.” “True,” they said, swishing their tail to and fro, “But you learn things with age. Like the fact that resonance’s color matches the color of the adex itself. The color of the thing within you. It also tends to dictate what kind of abilities we will grant. I’ve come to notice white adex mean white light, for instance.” William scribbled that down, and gave her a few small pets as thanks.

Then, he continued to read.

None of it was nearly as interesting as the resonance testing equipment, and most of it made him grumble in disgust. The schematics for Meir containment cells. The dampeners that kept the ‘subjects’ from using their powers. All kinds of resonance sapping weaponry.

“Oh. Hey, maybe that could be useful for… I don’t know, fighting bad guys?” Harley suggested. For a moment, William considered keeping the documents and then sending them to Angel. She’d know what to do with them, and how to make them into weapons that could be used to fight metahumans and meirs without the need for HeroNet. But William turned to Tessa’s letter once more, and sighed. “We promised we’d never let anyone else see this research, Harley. I’m not going to betray Tess’ trust…” William reminded her. Harley looked down, and would probably frown if her muzzle would allow. “Oh. My apologies. Shall I leave?” Imshael asked. William looked down to them, then back to the screen, and then to Harley. “Immy’s technically not another person… They’re an Adex.” While true, William gave a sigh. Technicalities didn’t sit well with him. But he had Tessa’s number, so he decided to ask her.

[Will] Hi Tessa, this is William Kray. We received the hard drive safely, but my father’s Adex wants to help. You said not to let anyone else see what’s on this drive.

[Peony] Oh! A wild Will! Right down to business, I see. Call me Peony, kay? Wow. She answered pretty fast. But Jazz did say that she never left her room, so she likely always had her phone.

[Peony] Would Kat trust this Adex? Knowing who your parents are, I would say there’s no one more trustworthy. But ultimately, I kept this stuff safe FOR your sister.

[Will] Right. Thank you, Peony.

Kat… She wouldn’t be angry if William let Imshael see the data. But she WOULD be angry if it was used to hurt anyone. So, ultimately, Wiliam chose to put a pin in it and continue to read.

He moved on to the folder that contained actual test results.

“KY subjects?” William read out loud. There were twenty entries, but no indication what the KY stood for. William had to examine them, and after a few, he noticed the pattern.

“These are… Older than me. The subjects were all adults… This must be the initial testing for forced symbiosis… Look, this person is deceased,” he pointed out. The other four sets of eyes looked to where he was pointing.

“Of course. Adults can’t fuse with us. The necessary changes can not be done to an already fully formed body. That it took them twenty people to notice,” Imshael grumbled. “Well… I guess… The good news is that they only resorted to using children because nothing else would work… Granted they could have just… Not continued their research on forced fusion.” “Not every question needs to be answered,” Harley agreed. “Like… I don’t actually want to know how many bugs I can fit in my mouth?” While Imshael and Harley continued to list off examples of things they did not need to know the answer to, William skimmed through the rest of the KY files, but they were ultimately more of the same.

He moved on to the KX subjects. Those he knew. “Kx-01 subject. 12 year old female. Volunteer, informed consent (See risk waiver) blah blah…” William read out loud, frowning. “This girl became their first Meir… But they ‘learned a great deal about Meirs, how to contain them, and how to destroy them’ thanks to her… I… Don’t…” William had to step away for a moment. Destroy. They meant kill. Murder. End a life, maybe even two. He couldn’t bear to read about the tests they did on the meir. He closed the file and moved on. More Meirs. More deaths. Some children saved at the cost of their Adex being destroyed. Few successes, until... “This one’s different. KX-14,” Will eventually said, his brow relaxing from the ever deepening frown he’d had previously. “Different how?” Imshael asked. “Successful symbiosis with ANB72… Result, the ability to mimic the abilities of other Adex. KX14’s ability has allowed us to predict the type of abilities an adex will have-”...Basically, this says she’s the reason we know Adex colors correspond to what kind of power they’ll give. She also… ‘claims to see a faint colorful glow’ coming from the Adex.’... She could… See resonance?” Though Harley was wagging her tail enthusiastically,  Imshael showed no sign of interest. Their tail just… swished lazily. “Immy, there’s people who can see Resonance! Isn’t that cool?” he asked, putting his hands near them, but they didn’t move. “I suppose?” they said. William frowned. “You knew already.” “Yes. Sorry. I see you’re excited. I do not mean to detract from your excitement.” Imshael’s apathy aside, William continued, noticing that there was a small note at the end of kx-14’s file. They weren’t the only person to see Resonance, but it took until subject 19 to realize that this phenomena was a real thing and not a stress induced hallucination or something of the sort. From there, there was a lot more successes. 22, however, was an outlier.

Succesful at first, the stress and isolation turned them into a Meir. “Dr. Evergarden decided to use the Meir to test out the powers of successful subjects, beginning project Nightmeir.” It linked to the project, but this William refused to click. He continued.

Kx-023. William picked up Peony’s note and looked again. She’s mentioned this subject, told him to look.

“Subject awoke during procedure. Panic caused a small scuffle until he could be sedated again. No lives lost, but Adex suffered damage. See Incident reports.” And dated later, a note had been added stating :”Subject releases small amounts of Resonance even with Dampeners. Without dampeners, subject can not control his ability and destroys anything he touches. (Re: Request- Wall repair in B2-B wing,)” And a little later still, “Subject experiences blackening of veins in hands (What??) Sent to medical examination immediately, but no medical reasons have been found. He is perfectly healthy. Maybe this is caused by the Adex damage? Continue monitoring.”

William looked back to the floor plan, on an inkling that this wall that needed repairs might be one that resulted in the collapse.

Unfortunately, he realized that he was not an architect and couldn’t really figure it out, so he returned to his reading.

There were few deviations. Meirs, successes… He could tell that it was around there that they’d managed to get the Resonance measuring machine working. Hell, even the number of consenting subjects rose the closer he got to his sister’s number.

There wasn’t much to learn, but he did notice a naming pattern for the Adex, and understood they were named by their color. From there, he compiled a list of Adex colors and their abilities… But there was one strange code he didn’t understand. Some adex codes started with an “A”, but they were few. 14, 24,72…

Wait.

72? 72 was…

Kat!

[peter-weir]

haha i am SO glad you saw that message. okay. so, bleeding heart, evening primrose, daffodil, love in a mist, tulip, sunflower, sweet pea, peony, marigold, and hyacinth SO MANY GOOD QUESTIONS

YAY! okay:

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

Blaaghhhh so many things. Really good pieces of music. Love declarations in plays and films. The mothafuckin Hand Touch from pride and prejudice and basically any other time ever when people’s hands touch or there’s like, buried feelings between people. Cute animals (mostly birds tbh). Seeing elderly couples holding hands and being cute and shit omg. Actually just sweet old people in general tbh (not racist crusty ones but like nice old people). When little kids help old ppl out and become friends!!!!! Good and personal poetry for others (not like cheesy love poetry but genuine heartfelt stuff). Loyalty and devotion and tenderness. My cat Felix being cute!!!

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

I don’t like to listen to music to fall asleep very often, although there are some songs that make me feel relaxed if I’m overthinking or that will give me an emotional release. I listen to these songs even when I’m not tryna sleep, but yeah. It’s mainly classical stuff.

- Bach cello suite no. 1(rly only the first movement tbh lol) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGQLXRTl3Z0

- Chopin Ballad no.1 (sooo good!) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KJ2Llvc60g

- like the entire Pride and Prejudice 2005 soundtrack, especially ‘Dawn’ - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vYY0aRH46I

- Teardrop by Massive Attack - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAVUPu7URbc

- the opening track from the Far From the Madding Crowd OST - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eD4kdrFTIQ

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

Oh man. Ferns. Indoor ferns. I have zero light in my house and I’ve always wanted beautiful ferns and mosses and hanging plants but I can’t! I cry every day abt this!!! Also in terms of just availability, I can never find spirea in nurseries. I really want to plant that in my front yard, but I dunno how to get it :/

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

Ahhh hmmmm……I think it was the one where I was at a party for one of my old friends from high school, and she was late for her own party because she was stuck in traffic. And we’re all waiting for her and it’s been like an hour or something, and maybe we’d ordered pizza? I can’t remember much else. It was also odd because me and this friend don’t talk anymore so I was like damn…okay…..? 

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

I don’t wear a lot of makeup, mainly because I’m lazy, but I do like eye makeup and doing lotsa different looks with that. I like concealer for helping me look less dead/ugly, but also just a really good eyeshadow base colour, like a brown or beige. I like a more natural look for most days, but I like cute shit like glitter eyes and eyebrows and good highlighter and lil things you can draw on like mini flowers or freckles or lines here and there to make it interesting. 

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

Fairy!!! And I’d be a forest fairy and collect little natural trinkets and make potions in my secret hollow and decorate everything with flowers and just live that nature life

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

I like the idea of ‘darling’ and ‘honey’ but maybe only if someone is saying it to me…I feel like it sounds odd coming outta my mouth haha. Maybe in certain circumstances I’d use cute names like that. But I like dumb names like ‘chicken nugget’ and ‘smelly’. 

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you? 

What taxes and mortgages and buying/renting property are all about. And I guess just that the world isn’t really so scary. It’s vast and can be difficult but I think you really can go after whatever you want and there are a lot of different avenues and ways to fulfillment in life, not just traditional ones of study/full time job/having a family. And I wish they could’ve told me that it’s okay to express my emotions and take up space ya know

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

Earl Grey. I also like chamomile. 

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

Nah. My lil venus fly trap actually came with a name on the info card but I’ve abandoned that lol