#whatever fits will fit and whatever doesn't fit will not and that's fine with me
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arlecchino would be quite lost with her first newborn. she had decided that her first child's upbringing would be different than the children from the house of the hearth. she wished to protect her kid from the harsh and brutal nature of the fatui.
she'd spoil the kid so much that you would have to step in espcially if the kid gets aware of this weakness and uses it for their advantage 😭😭 whenever she noticed traces of you in her kid, she'd fall over for you again. the kid's taught being an echo of yours? she is never being normal again.
due to her rather protective nature, when her child expresses interest in swordfighting she would be a bit hesitant to say yes, it would take a lot of effort from your and your child to make her agree. but omg save her on the day your kid beats her in a sword fight, she will be so proud and cannot stop talking about it to everyone.
she suchs a girldad to me, like your kid just mindlessy mentions they like a certain fruit? she gonna start a farm dedicated to farming that fruit. you would repramind her a lot on how spoils the kid. eveb after all that, she will still buy whatever her little gem wants.
would unironically frame every drawing made by the kid, and if questioned by anyone, she'd glare at them for trying to question her kid's talents. she is def a chill dad with a bit of a strict side. one thing she doesn't forgive her kid easily is if they disrespect you or put themselves or others in danger. she hates when she has to be mad at her kid when they do something stupid and seeing them cry breaks her heart. cause her small kid can be literal 17 but shes still gonna see them as that small little newborn.
GIRLDAD ARLE HELL YEAH. (Let‘s ignore how late I am)
But she‘d make SUCH a great father like idc what everybody is saying, her daughter would be SPOILED. The framing her drawings is so real like I can totally see a new drawing taking over the picture frame on her desk every week. And she LOVES bringing her to bed. Those few moments of shared calmness and father-daughter bonding like gently brushing through her hair… letting her choose a good night story… and yes, I do see Arlecchino totally falling asleep with her daughter in her way too small bed but she is laying next to her baby so it‘s fine!
And the tea parties? She’d be invested. Setting up the table with the finest porcelain cups and desserts, yes she‘d wear that princess crown. Yes, she‘d borrow one of your dresses to match her daughter‘s fit, no matter how much she dislikes it.
She does miss your pregnancy belly tho. She misses it so bad that you sometimes catch her staring at your tummy with a certain longing that makes you question if one baby really is enough. (It is)
Papa!Arle SAVE ME. SAVE ME PAPA!ARLE
#albarequests#I NEED HER SO BAD UGHHHHH#genshin impact#arlecchino x female reader#arlecchino x reader#x reader#genshin x reader#arlechinno genshin#genshin fanfic
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So I met a guy on a dating app. He’s also Autistic and we have a lot in common. Really hit it off and after some conversation he’s like To be honest I’m not looking for a relationship and I have someone else I really like but she’s not wanting a full on relationship either so we’re looking at ENM or maybe Poly but if that’s not your thing I understand. So I’m a bit disappointed but he’s sweet so I’m like ok let’s be friends.
Then it almost immediately gets sexual and we talk a lot about kink and fetish stuff that we seem pretty aligned with. Which is rare. We sexted a bit and it was great.
But today he told me he’s going on a date with someone. It’s actually a chick I also met off the the same app (I’m bi) but that didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that I got this instant reaction like upset that he was going on a date. It triggered something in me.
Not mad at all with him as he’s been super honest. But didn’t anticipate my own reactions.
So now I have to decide if I stop talking to him and let this go or if I try to move past it and enjoy the positive sides of our friendship.
We had tentative plans to meet in a few weeks time (we don’t live super close to each other). As a date but not a date.
Now I’m super confused about what to do. Especially as I really don’t meet many people that I vibe with and share similar “interests” with etc.
Just not entirely sure I’m built for the whole sharing thing…
Respectfully, it sounds like this dude fucking sucks ass at polyamory and doesn't know what the hell he's doing, and you're gonna get hurt.
First of all, he told you that he was poly because he is down bad for someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with him? And so what, he's using his other dating partners as some kind of emotional or sexual stopgap?
That's objectifying and downgrading his potential future partners, including you, from the very start -- and it's setting you up to always be in the position of offering him temporary succor from the unrequited desires he has for this other person, only to be sidelined when she IS giving him a lot of attention. Sure, it's great he's being honest or whatever -- but the situation he's inviting you into is honestly disrespectful. You were disappointed to learn about this situation from the start. That feeling is an important signal! He's made it clear that he's not actually emotionally available and will NOT be consistent with you, and believes he has no reason to be.
It's also quite telling that after he established the nature of his relationship with this other person, he pivoted to getting very overtly sexual with you. This makes me wonder a lot about the woman he is pining away for, and what the terms of their relationship is according to her. (because if they're agreeing to get ENM or poly together, that's a relationship! Even if she says it's not a relationship).
Did she tell him that she cares about him but that she doesn't want to fuck him? Is she just less available than he'd like her to be, in terms of time and number of dates? What the hell is this arrangement between the two of them, how much of it was her proposal versus his idea, and where the hell do you fit in in all that?
If two people aren't fully sexually compatible and both parties want to explore sex and kink outside of their relationship to one another, that's fine; I'm living in that situation and it works great. But you have to approach prospective sexual partners with equal respect as you would your pre-existing partner (or whatever the hell she is to him, since they say they're not in a relationship?), and be clear about what you are and are not available for. It seems to me he asked you to be some kind of non-monogoamous, not-exactly-romantic-but-intimate "friends" with one another, and then tried to transition you into being a kinky sex partner once you expressed you could work with that.
I don't mean to remove your agency from this or act as if this is all something he is doing "to" you, because you expressed some interest in him and said the sexual connection is there. But... how much of this arrangement or how any of this is going has had anything to do with you or your stated preferences? Are you just going along with the flow because he seems nice and you want to see some possibilities there and for each new curveball he's throwing you, you're having to find some new way to justify it and make sense of it? What about what you want? What about your feelings? Why do you not get to determine what the relationship even is or where it is going, and he does? Because he's not getting what he wants elsewhere? That's not a good reason. That has nothing to do with you.
It makes sense to me, in light of what a mess his handling of this has been, that when you found out he was also pursuing other casual sexual partners that you felt jealous. Perhaps seeing him seeking out other non-committal, kind of formless sexual encounters with other people made you worry that you were being seen and treated by him in the same way, or that you were basically just a cog he was trying to slot into place for the time being. Or maybe you already felt on some level that you weren't given primacy in your relationship -- because this is a relationship of a kind! -- and now you have to worry about a whole other person who he has his own feelings for and agendas about altering how he relates to you.
You're not in the driver's seat in this relationship, hell you're not even really being consulted -- he's just making decisions about the various women in his life that he's trying to have meet needs for him and plugging them in and out of those roles as it suits him. The actual arrangement you all have entered into could be completely fine if all parties actively wanted it and had clarity and control over their own positions -- I'm a non-monogamous but *not* polyamorous person who dates people casually, and so i explicitly seek out others who are looking only for casual sex, that kind of stuff is fine -- but instead, this guy seems to be just making his choices up on the fly based on when he's horny, or lonely, or who is around and easy to get to.
I think you're giving a lot more latitude to him than he deserves, here. I'm not saying you need to dump him if you don't want to, if the sex seems like it could be fun you should go for it -- but on your terms. What do YOU want out of this connection? How do you see it? How much quality time, consistency, and commitment do you need? How comfortable are you with being non-monogamous and what kind of non-monogamy do you actively *want*? Do you see this guy as a friend? A casual partner (but a partner nonetheless)? A fuckbuddy?
There's a significant distance between you two, you two have been talking a lot, you call him a friend, and you call your plans to get together a "date." This is a relationship, whether he likes to admit it or not, and that comes with responsibilities to treat one another well and be honest, and to respect the other person's needs. And he doesn't seem to be showing any sense of responsibility toward the people he is in relationships with, and maybe doesn't even see them as relationships at all? He might seem nice, but the way he is navigating all of this is very selfish and instrumentalizes other people -- and so I think you should listen to that feeling you have of insecurity, because it's signalling that he's put you in a very insecure place.
Tagging in my homie @pastimperfection who always enjoys yelling about people doing poly badly
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coworkers: make sure you have room left in your suitcase for all the free stuff we'll get at the conference!
me, staring at my already very full suitcase: uh.................................
#personal#i am a Chronic Overpacker i was not made for this#there should be some room in my backpack#but not a ton in my suitcase that's for sure lolololol#i might be able to squish some of it more on the way back but!!!! whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#whatever fits will fit and whatever doesn't fit will not and that's fine with me#it is what it is#the only thing i'm super concerned about rn is doing the letterpress print and bringing it back and it'll definitely fit lolol
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Testament scythe part H7 is on the bed. Cura's ETA was 12 hours, but the Ender's saying it's nearing 50% after just 3 🤔
This is the same Overture PLA Pro that I used for the Outrage. It's strong with some flex, which makes it great for huge props like this.
#videopost#3d printing tag#When I powered the Ender on this morning it shut down and rebooted on its own after a second#Scared the hell outta me lol Why's my baby doing that???#Think the plug was just loose in the power supply....#Doesn't seem to fit onto it very snugly. I'm always pushing it back in#Major design flaw tbhhhh#Would like to upgrade that but it works fine outside of the plug being a little wiggly so whatever I guess#Got this thing calibrated soooo tight. The test cube printed cleaner than it did for the Outrage#Thinkin B2 or SPINE will be the hardest/longest parts to print#SPINE's gonna need some insane supports lol
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Remind me to draw more Papyrus stuff in regards to driving because. WOW I'VE HAD A FUCKING DAY AND I NEED HIM TO SWEAR AND SCREAM AND HAVE MURDEROUS INTENT IN HIS EYESSSSSSS
#Roddy rambles#Do I. have a rambling tag for posts like this on here????????#...I do now cause I NEED TO VENT#Cause earlier today I needed to pick up my partner's little brother#and I see this guy on my left at the fucking. turn thing where he'd turn into the lane I'm in?#and he stops! he stops and he's waiting#and I register that in my brain like yes ok cool no one's coming from there. And I look ahead of me and I glance to my passenger#And as I'm looking back my passenger SCREAMS because the guy on the left suddenly speeds up and cuts in front me#it's supposed to be a 20 zone and it's slick and I manage to stop but like. holy shit had I not seen him or had she not yelled#There would've been a wreck. It was my right of way but ok fine whatever we're ok I can shake that off! I'm grateful to be ok!#BUT THEN JUST EARLIER I HAD TO DROP TWO KIDS AT A FUCKING... PLANET FITNESS????#And as I'm driving on a like. 30-40 road I'm on the left side cause I need to turn at the light#And there's one car that's going the opposite way that needs to turn and go across the road? and there's another car-#-that is coming from my right that's trying to turn the other way. I dunno if I'm explaining this well but they're both trying to cross-#-over the lanes and in front of me#and the guy on the right goes and he has time to make it. but he doesn't#He suddenly stops IN FRONT OF ME BLOCKING MY LANE?????#Doesn't even pull into the spot where he can wait??? to get on the main road?????????????#And he finally fucking moves. BUT THE OTHER CAR DOES THE SAME FUCKING THING ARE YOU SERIOUS???????#Needless to say I am. exhausted I'm so fucking pissed I want to cry I want to scream. I want to laugh! Because I'm so happy nothing happene#But HOLY FUCK dude. FUCKING WHAT???? WHY DOES EVERYONE DRIVE SO FUCKING STUPID AFTER IT RAINS????????#IT WASN'T EVEN RAINING ANYMORE IT'S JUST A LITTLE WET FUCK
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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MOTHERFUCK i did not realize how much those antidepressants made me feel physically psychologically and dare i say spiritually like a peat mummy
literally 2 days off them and i've experienced more joy, lucidity, motivation and general good vibes than i did in the whole 2 months i was on them 😭😭
#now granted i did only sleep for 3 hours#but i felt more refreshed and energized today than i ever did when the pills forced me into 8 hours of pseudo-death a night#MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE IS BACK TO NEVER SHUTTING TF UP#it was practically bones for so long oml#i'm usually annoyingly verbose but i was only able to say like 5 words at a time before i forgot how to end my sentence#yeah i'm prolly gonna lose the rose tinted glasses in a few days when the novelty wears off but for now#it's so nice to feel like myself and not like a lobotomized skinwalker trying to wear my own mannerisms convincingly#(obvsly they help some ppl or they wouldn't be an option to prescribe but GOD they fit my brain chemistry as well as a fork fits an outlet)#<<<<<<I CAN DO THAT AGAIN!!! I MISSED MY STUPID METAPHORS AND MY BAD PUNS AND MY SLIGHTLY OUT OF POCKET JOKES#i was fucking trying but it fundamentally doesn't work if u Try#yoda moment but whatever#yippeee#god did they fucking '''cure''' my ADHD instead of my depression#ok if this is what some ppl's experience of ADHD meds is like then the 'they made me feel like a robot' thing makes a LOT more sense#personally they just make me feel like. yk that one comic abt ADHD with the dog metaphor#yeah amphetamines my beloved let me hold the leash rather than becoming a human dogsled to the whims of my psyche#actually i think i was rather uncharitable to my current dream mask normal pills#i just happened to get mega bitch burnout for 3 months and then spend 2 in the aforementioned peat bog where souls go to die#when not impeded by outside circumstances i think they actually are completely fine#maybe not QUITE as agressively effective as my previous prescription but the ritalin was str8 up harsh#i tried it again for a week and it made my heart beat like it was being powered by a caffienated hamster#but when i used to take it i was already experiencing Real paranoid gerbil anxiety so it just kinda blended in#i only noticed the Severe Health Issue i got bundled as a side effect#and i keep having to remind myself not to go rose-tinted abt how bad it rlly was in retrospect#do i just need to leave a sticky note on my mirror like 'hey dumbass that was NOT a net positive period of ur life'#lexi stfu challenge
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God I'm fucking tired
Had to unfollow and block like 4 separate blogs that were perfectly fine up until today because they were saying hateful, short-sighted shit under the guise of being progressive. All of which were things that directly applied to me. Real fucking inclusive and tolerant environment being fostered right now.
Gonna be off of Tumblr for a few days because it's pissed me off that much
#me complaining#for anyone curious it was all sexism and classism#it's cool to make fun of poor people as long as they don't fit your fucked up platonic ideal of what a poor person is supposed to be#also I guess trans men don't count as men!#we can say whatever fucking hurtful shit about men but don't worry! it doesn't apply to YOU because you don't count#either that means 'you're one of the good ones' which is a fucking YIKES#or it means 'I don't see you as a man at all' which is really telling#I came out like three months ago man what the fuck#I'm fine btw just mad
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joseph quinn is too wet cat for johnny storm. the only guy i want playing him is a blonde bitch
#yeah im sure he'll do a fine job whatever#he just doesn't fit johnny storm#to me#johnny storm#marvel#laurie posting
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ngl i've been feeling weird (bad) about both my art and my writing so... yeah sorry for sitting on my hands but yeah i'm hoping it goes away soon
#hablaty#ngl for the last idk how long i didn't really keep track of it#i've been experiencing the full spiral of ''my stuff is not the right fit for x but it's fine'' ''i am inadequate to make x''#''do people even want me to make stuff anyway or should i just keep things to myself oh whatever if it's bad they just have to deal with it#''who am i kidding there are others who can do the things i do better no one needs my things'' on...well not a daily basis but almost#and i know it makes no sense i'm trying to respond to prompts/requests and i can't bc my dumb brain makes me feel like it's all unwanted#and yeah i just hope this feeling doesn't linger for much longer i don't like it here#and i just feel guilty and bad for things taking so much longer than they need to be#ugh yeah that would be all thank you for exposing yourself to my shitty mental health rambles
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My new baby 🤘🖤
(I’ve been meaning to post a pic for like a week or two but kept forgetting to take one until the sun was already down and lighting would have been ass)
Took ages to arrive and I’m so glad it’s finally here. The shape took a little getting used to but once I did it’s very comfortable to play. It actually really suits my need to sit with my legs in a pretzel.
#One day I’ll own the proper 4k Rhoads but for now I’m fucking elated#Getting the right case for this one was such a bitch btw#my anxiety makes me get a case for every guitar#the only weird thing is my favorite strap doesn't fit on it super well????#because of the Jackson brand plate or whatever near the neck the click on system my strap has kind of only VERY NEARLY fits#so I might have to either alter my strap or use a different one#god this sounds like I'm talking about strap ons not guitar straps#my post#its lowkey annihilating my chair but thats fine cuz this chair sucks and i need a new one anyway
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How do you make your stamps? :0
Disclaimer: this is an obscenely long explanation, with pictures. Efficiency is stupid
So, for the static ones, I make a 99x56 px file on ibis paint x. Other programs are probably available online but I don't use them.
After that, I either upload an image I want to make into a stamp, or I draw one.
Then, I find a frame I want to use. Ill upload them here but let it be known I stole all of these right from deviantart
Most of them are from Lil-Devil-Melii on deviantart. The rest i have no idea. They're not all 99x56px but you can crop the canvas it's fine
Make sure to erase the edges of the picture , so they're transparent. It's not as cute otherwise
Upload those frames over your image in whatever art program you're using and viola, stamp.
For moving ones, it's a lot harder. Mostly because I refuse to download Photoshop.
There are a couple ways to do this. Some are simple animations, like with flashing text and whatnot. For these, you download the individual animation frames from your art program. Make sure it's transparent.
Then, upload each frame to ezgif.com under the option "GIF maker." You can play around with how fast each frame goes and whatnot but in the end, it'll be a stamp with some rad text that moves. This is easy, and doesn't make me want to shit my pants and cry. If you're new, do this. This is fun. This is good. This does not kill me inside
I made that↓ stamp with this method :)
this next one is how we turn gifs into stamps. This one makes me sad. It involves math and sucks. But we gotta do it. For the vibe
First, grab your gif. I'm using this cow gif because it's awesome
Then, I resize it using ezgif. Literally everything for this will be using ezgif. I am a simple man
At this point you should decide what frame to use. I'm using this one because its the first one I clicked
Figured out what size the inside of the frame is. That's what I resize the gif to, so the edges can be transparent. The inside of this one is 93x50 px, so those are the dimensions I'm making the gif.
Figure it out by putting the frame into ibis paint and realizing the canvas to fit just the inside of the frame, then seeing what the dimensions are. But there could be easier ways
Woah it's so small now
Then, still on ezgif, I go to the "crop" option.
Make sureeee to upload the smaller gif
press the button that says "extend canvas size", and then put the "width" and "height" as the dimensions for your FRAME. This'll put a bit of a transparent border around the gif. For this frame, I did 99px and 56px.
The "left" and "top" boxes show how many pixels the cropping happens from the edges of the canvas. The formula for finding that is
(width of gif / 2) - (difference between gif width and frame width / 2) = left box
For me it's (93 / 2) - (6 / 2) = 43.5
Then you do the same.for the height, which for me ends up being 22 from the top
This is reallyyy touchy and annoying though
Here's my result , with no visible difference
Okay so THEN you go to the "overlay" option, under "effects." And upload your frame. If the cropping was done right, you shouldn't have to move the frame at all and can just download it
Here's my result:
if you don't care about transparency, you can resize your gif to be the same size as the frame, and then put the frame over it. But I'm a slut for transparency
Anyways. I'm sorry if anything was unclear, it's two am. And I hope this was helpful :) these really are fun to make once you get it down
also if anyone has an easier way to make stamps from gifs, please god tell me
#web graphics#old web#neocities#custom#custom blinkies#stamps#page decor#web resources#da stamps#deviantart stamps#blinking gif#How to#tutorial#How to make stamps#Spacehey#deviantart#rentry graphics#old internet#early internet#stamp collecting#ezgif#stamp making#stamp template#Stamp frames#blinkies
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I just found this in my notes
Apparently, I woke up at 5:23 in the morning, wrote it down, and went straight back to sleep. Trust my hyperfixated ass to still be making content even as I'm unconscious.
Anyways, yes,
DPxDC Trust Me, I'm an Engineer
Danny is half-ghost, but he is also a child of two mad scientists who spent the better part of their lives elbow deep in building all kinds of stuff out of all kinds of junk. Imagine what their kid, who loves science and engineering as much as they do, if not more, can accomplish?
When he moves to Gotham, he decides to leave all the heroics behind, hanging up his cape. Surely, he will be fine - Gotham has, like, what, six? seven? ten? vigilantes of its own. They don't need any more, and, besides, Danny is fairly certain he doesn't work that great in teams.
But there's just... so much crime happening.
Danny doesn't want to get involved, not really. He's retired. But he wants to help somehow!
So, he starts building unconventional devices for self-defense. A rubber duck that shoots lasers out of its eyes? A fork that turns into a shocker? A rice cooker that defends your home in case of an attack? A pen that transforms into a gas mask? You name it, he can build it.
It escalates quickly. Someone asks him to upgrade a baby carriage to a full impenetrable robot that will protect the baby inside it, and Danny decides why not. It's for safety. He installs countless safety measures so nothing could be triggered by mistake, and even though by the end the carriage doesn't look that much different, it proves effective in the first serious accident. In fact, it is so effective that it saves a total of five hostages, including the baby inside it, who didn't even cry because there are soundproof shields inside and recordings of the baby mother's voice.
Danny builds more of those carriages. Then he switches to home defenses. Then someone asks him to make brass knuckles that turn into a gauntlet shield in case of attack. Danny does a thorough check to make sure it won't fall into the wrong hands, but he ends up making it.
It doesn't take too much time for him to start making full-on robotic suits for people. Bulletproof, running on clean energy - Gotham has plenty of residue ectoplasm - with built-in defense mechanisms and stuff.
It is at this point that the Bats start taking a closer look at his inventions. Before that, they thought it was just some Rogue in the making, and they kept an eye on Danny, but never once has he created anything with the purpose of offense instead of defence, so they let it slide. But then Tim gets his hands on one of the suits and comes back to Bruce, nearly salivating over it.
A few weeks later, Danny gets an internship at WE. A year later, he is invited to work with the JL.
And that's when it hits him.
M e c h a s.
He can do real, actual mecha-suits for heroes. He can make them fit those heroes perfectly, enhancing their strengths and negating the weaknesses.
No alien invasion fucks with Earth anymore, because when they do, the JL just grabs their Danny Fenton Suits and whatever evil aliens were aiming to take control are annihilated in no time.
Maybe Tucker joins him along the way. Maybe Danny has an arms race with Lex Luthor, maybe Cyborg bonds with him over the mechanical rambling. What I'm saying is, cool robots for everyone!
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#justice league#mecha#robots guys#robots for everyone#i have no idea where this is going#feel free to use or add on anything you like#cork prompts#cork writes
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early seasons spencer and bau reader undercover at a club and it’s just like. he is so flustered but also weirdly confident and do with this what you will
in which spencer reid and BAU fem!reader have to pose as a couple at a club. she's more than a little flirty. the conversation actually gets quite suggestive. he's cute when he gets flustered.
warnings/tags: discussions of sex, reader wears a tight dress and makeup and heels, discussions of blushing but r's skin color is not implied to be light, i just needed a reason to talk about sex flush LOL, if u don't visibly blush this will still read fine
a/n: I LOVE EARLY SEASONS SPENCER X FLIRTY READER OH MY GODDD thank you for this request angel from heaven I hope you all like this as much as I do teehee
The bass buzzes through the floor and vibrates your teeth. House music has never really been your thing. Neither have tight dresses and high heels while on the job—but you’re willing to objectify yourself just a little if it will lure yet another loser who likes to chop up young couples into the awaiting arms of the American correctional system.
Or to the wrong end of Emily's Glock. Whatever comes first.
You scan the club—it’s not your usual scene, and you can only imagine how Dr. Reid is faring. As far as you can tell this is essentially his nightmare. It’s sensory overload central even for you.
Your eyes catch on him at the bar, tucked away from the writhing crowd. He’s standing near the end, one arm resting on the surface while the other hand is jammed in his pocket. He seems completely unaware of the several women circling closer and closer. The whole earnest and dorky but still handsome thing seems to work well for him. Or, it would, if he had any interest in utilizing it. He’s dressed a little sharper than usual—no doubt styled by Morgan and Prentiss. Hell, the earnest dorkiness and the well fitted dark suit is working for you if nobody else.
Sometimes he just looks… edible.
And self-discipline doesn't always come naturally to you.
“Doctor,” you purr in greeting, grazing the forearm propped up on the bar with white-tipped nails as you insert yourself in front of him. His fingers twitch under your light touch.
Spencer doesn’t even try to hide the way his eyes sink down your frame, sticking to every highlighted curve like you’re dripping honey. Or maybe he just doesn’t realize that you can see that’s what he’s doing.
“Hi. You look nice.”
“Aw,” you smile, dulling the salacious edge to your voice, “you didn’t have to say that. Someone’s improvising.”
“I meant it. That dress looks nice on you,” he says, simply, and you hate his specific brand of charm because it’s not intentional. It’s not something he puts on. It comes out of nowhere and always knocks you on your ass when it hits—even in the smallest doses. His eyes narrow and he leans closer. You can feel the energy rippling around him like a force field as he examines you. “You’re wearing more makeup than you normally do.”
“Do you like it? Penelope ordered the wrong shade of blush and gave it to me. Supposedly it’s meant to make me look like I just had an orgasm. I don’t know if I believe it.”
Much to your disappointment, Spencer leans back, scanning the crowd for your target and speaking as if he’s only half-interested.
“That’s not what you would look like. Sex flush deepens the color of your entire face and chest, not just your cheeks.”
Your brows knit as you contend with unwelcome butterflies.
“Buy me a drink before you start telling me what I’ll look like after I orgasm.”
That catches his attention, and his suddenly wide eyes snap to you. If he had a drink, he’d be choking on it.
“I wasn’t—it was a general you, I’d never—that would be inappropriate. It was. It was inappropriate. Sorry. I’m sorry.”
You lean with your back to the bar, elbows propped on black granite, and swing your hair over your shoulder. Spencer’s eyes dart back down to your décolletage and then up to the ceiling like he regrets being born. You smile wickedly. Much better. This is the way God intended for you to interact with Spencer Reid.
“I’ll consider forgiving you. And I don’t blush. Not when I orgasm, not ever.”
Admittedly, you just want to milk the whole talking about you orgasming thing to see how pink you can make him. It’s not often you’re gifted with an opportunity to be so candid about your sexuality or flirt this unabashedly. But you are supposed to be posing as a couple. Maybe you’re just feeling extra in character.
Instead of stumbling over his words some more, Spencer smiles with a degree of bemusement like he’s caught you in a white lie.
His smile is so nice. His teeth are perfect, and his lips—
“Yes you do.”
Always so convinced he’s right, this one.
It’s annoying. And kind of hot.
“Uh, I promise you I do not.”
“Everyone blushes. It's a sympathetic nervous system activation response wherein blood rushes to your face. Your blood vessels dilate when you get flustered or anxious. Your face gets hot and your undertone changes.”
You raise your brows. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was challenging you.
“Yeah? Wanna bet?”
“Actually, no,” he mutters, losing any bravado and casting his eyes downward subserviently. “You have a habit of proving me wrong.”
“That’s right,” you gloat, smiling wide. Someone bumps into you, and you turn around, highly unprofessional insult locked and loaded—but it’s just a drunk girl who apologizes and stumbles off. The encounter does, however, remind you that you’re supposed to be finding a killer. “Do you think this is the best positioning? He might not be able to find us way over here.”
“You think we should move?”
You look back at him and nod, holding your hand out. He looks at it uncertainly. You waggle your fingers and infuse your words with sugar.
“Oh, come on. I don’t want to lose you. And we’re supposed to look like a couple, remember?”
Gingerly he accepts your hand. His is bigger than you’d have thought. Not nearly as freezing as your own perpetually are. It occurs to you as you grab his hand that his bone structure really is bigger than yours. He’s… tall. He is, at the end of the day, a real life adult man. His presence is palpable behind you and you enjoy the weight of his hand in yours as you tug him through the crowd, perhaps not taking the most direct route through the throng just so you can savor being able to touch him like this for a little longer.
Miraculously you spot an empty booth and slide into it. It’s a deep alcove, shadowy and secluded at the back. That’s where you settle, against black vinyl, and where you wave at Spencer to join you.
He lingers at the edge of the table, glancing around at the groups of dancing and drinking young adults.
“I don’t know. Can you even see the dance floor from back there?”
“Part of it. But I’m sure he’ll be looking in the booths for couples. He’ll come to us.”
Spencer faces you again and sighs ruefully, a begrudging smirk playing at his lips as he slides into the booth and joins you against the back wall. His side is warm against yours. He smells nice. Clean. Almost herbal, like patchouli or vetiver.
“What? You really hate sitting next to me that much?”
Spencer’s lips part wryly before he speaks, like he almost thought better of it but decided to anyway.
“I think you just wanted a reason to get me alone and secluded so you can finally accost me.”
Your knees bump. You lean into it.
“Accost you? That seems harsh,” you pout, leaning toward him clandestinely to undo his top button.
“I don’t see how. You are literally trying to take my clothing off as we speak.”
“I’m just increasing your sex appeal. It’ll be good, trust me. Maybe you’ll even end up taking one of those girls from the bar home. Or—back to the hotel, I should say.”
Spencer covers your fussy hands with his own sweetly, like he can sense the true jealousy simmering underneath the sarcasm, and places them in your lap. The touch lingers.
“Are you always like this?” He murmurs, voice lower than you can recall ever hearing it and twisted into the shape of a smile.
“Only with you, Dr. Reid. Speaking of, how about you? Do you flirt with many other FBI agents on official business?”
“Just the one. She’s kind of a full-time job.”
“Shut up. I’m basically your babysitter. If anything, I should be paid extra for dealing with you.”
“Attempting to seduce your charge seems like a bad business model. There are definitely some ethical issues there.”
His hands still rest on yours. You lace your fingers with his and speak sweetly, meeting his eyes best you can in the dark.
“I wasn’t aware I was seducing you. Do you feel seduced?”
He’s the first to look away after a few seconds pass—pulls your hands apart gently, politely arranging them back on your lap.
“I think you’re incorrigible and a terrible influence. In all honesty, you terrify me and more often than not I walk away from our interactions a little confused.”
You clap a hand to your heart, the bare skin revealed by your low cut dress warm under your fingers.
“Spencer… that kind of turned me on.”
He just looks at you for a moment, a hint of a smile on his pretty face, long enough to make you feel a bit nervous.
Then he’s leaning forward, and unconsciously so are you, almost forgetting to breath when you’re practically pressed against him in this booth and he’s whispering so low and sweet into your ear.
“He’s watching us. Right across the floor, next to the girl in the blue dress. White button up and a leather jacket.” His hand slides over yours, fingers skimming your collarbone in the process as he interlocks your grasp once more. “Keep your hand right here and lean closer. We need to maintain his interest.”
“I don’t think I can lean any closer,” you breathe, hoping it doesn’t register as nervous as it really is. You’re supposed to be the confident one who teases him. “But if you want me to sit on your lap, just ask. I won’t say no.”
He chuckles, too loud to be amorous. It’s clearly genuine. It sounds like the way his reddened cheeks always look. It almost does more for you than the bedroom voice.
“You… you are beyond help. I don’t think you could be appropriate if your life depended on it.”
Slowly you pull back so you can look into his eyes—much closer than you normally have an excuse to. They dart wildly over your face, partially obscured by the dark which cuts shadows deep into the dramatic hollows of his bone structure. He really is so pretty.
You glance toward the man, who’s pretending not to watch you. When you focus your attention back on Spencer, sliding your hand up the curve of his jaw, you find yourself making a dangerous wish. You find yourself wishing that you didn’t have an audience. That this wasn’t all for show. That neither of you had earpieces in.
His pulse hammers under your little finger, and his lips part slightly as he doesn’t have the wherewithal to not glance at yours. He’s so unaware of how obvious he’s being. It’s cute.
You run the tips of your fingers through the hair in front of his ear, the one sans bluetooth, pushing it back, before leaning in close once more to whisper.
“Good thing we’re not going for appropriate. Actually—your hands could stand to wander a little more, Dr. Reid. Let me know if you need me to tell you where to put them.”
#spencer reid#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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TF141 & sexy clothes
Gaz absolutely supports you wearing whatever you feel sexy in. however, in his heart of hearts, he believes the sexiest thing you can wear around him is your pjs, your ratty old tees, your sleep shirts, your big hoodies, your slouchy garbage clothes. he just wants to know you're comfortable. not to mention the idea of you letting him see you the way nobody else gets to... letting yourself be totally vulnerable around him... that lights up a certain (slightly needy) (slightly possessive) part of his brain. interesting how easily his hands can slide past the hem of your clothes when they're bigger and slouchier, too.
Ghost loves lingerie, though. like wrapping a present just for him. it's less about the lace (or the bows, or the straps, or the leather, whatever you prefer) and more about the time and attention you're expending to make yourself look all sexy. all this work? for him? even if his usual compulsion is to act aloof and pretend it's no big deal, he can't hide the greedy way his eyes devour you--for me? don't mind if i do. it's a toss-up whether he decides to unwrap you completely or just push his calloused hands into your lil outfit and muss you up until it's not covering anything anymore. or maybe he'll just leave the wrapping on so he can keep admiring all your hard work while he pumps into you.
Price says he loves you in lingerie, and he does. he doesn't tell you how fucking crazy you drive him when you're dressed for business. that might mean the clothes you wear into the office every day; it might mean fatigues; it might mean a particular uniform; it might be sportswear. he's big into seeing you focused and in your element--your competence is sexy--while also knowing there are so few layers he'd need to peel off before he could have you completely forgetting yourself if he wanted. and hey! if the lace at the top of your thigh-highs happens to be peeking out from under your pencil skirt, or if your ass fills out your uniform just right? that's just fine with him. you do you. (for now. he'll do you later.)
Soap's preferences are simple. he likes access. skirts. dresses. obviously, if he could convince you to be naked 100% of the time, he would. sundresses are pretty, though. so are your studded black skirts if you're gothy. or your sharp, practical, form-fitting pencil skirts if you're professional. you can even wear a kilt if you'd like. his kilt. he doesn't mind. (he only asks that you wear it as it's meant to be worn--without a thing underneath.) on days you do wear a dress or skirt, you're lucky to make it out of the house without him darting after you, pulling the hem up your thighs, and wondering aloud how you managed to find any undergarments at all; he'd swear he hid every last pair. he peels your underwear off--don't protest, hen; you know how this works--and after that, your chances of getting out the door are slim to none.
...
more multi-141 and poly 141 / masterlist tag
#mine#snippet#cod#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#cod mwii#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#cod smut#poly!141#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#gaz#simon ghost riley#john price#captain price#captain john price#price cod#ghost#ghost cod#soap cod#simon riley#ghost riley#soap mactavish#soap x reader#soap x you#johnny mactavish x reader
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If there is one thing Eddie Munson is good at, it's hyperfixating. He can spend hours upon hours wholly entranced by whatever it is that has his attention, whether it's a newly discovered band or a book series he's reading or some random new interest he likes to immerse himself in. It's something Steve, who himself has the attention span of a goldfish, will never really understand, but that's okay: even without understanding it, it's one of the things he loves about Eddie.
Some of Eddie's obsessions fade just as quickly as they appear, but others stay with him for years. So when he reaches a 1000-day streak on Duolingo learning Elvish, Steve has a surprise for him: two tickets for a Lord of the Rings convention in Chicago. The second ticket is not for Steve – they enjoy their own separate interests just fine without the other's involvement – but for Dustin, and the two of them wave goodbye to Steve with a suitcase filled with nerdy costumes and matching excited sparks in their eyes.
Eddie returns a few days later filled with stories about all that he and Dustin got up to.
'Guess who we met at the convention,' is one of the first things he tells Steve. He's bouncing around with excitement, too impatient to even wait for Steve's first guess. 'The guy who created the Elvish Duolingo course! And guess what? He lives in Indianapolis! I'm having lunch with him next week!'
And it's cool, Steve is happy that Eddie met his hero and made a new nerd friend out of him, he truly is – until Eddie shows him the picture that Dustin took of the two of them.
Here's the thing: Steve is not a jealous person. Not at all. He knows that jealousy is a gross thing to feel and he can't even imagine not trusting Eddie. But... he had not expected Eddie's lame nerd idol to have amazing hair, a lip piercing, and muscles in all the right places. The guy looks like a freaking model. And usually, that wouldn't bother Steve – he knows he's not exactly ugly himself – but usually he doesn't have to compete with guys who speak Elvish fluently.
'You should come with me, we can all hang out together,' Eddie suggests. 'I'm sure you'll love him.'
Steve is hesitant about it, but Eddie refuses to take no for an answer, and that's how Steve ends up at Vikram's house for lunch two weeks later.
Eddie gasps loudly when Vikram leads them into his living room, clutching a dramatic hand to his chest in true Eddie fashion. Steve knows it's not all theatrics, though: there's no way a room like this wouldn't genuinely impress Eddie. It's dark and filled with big leather furniture. Framed posters for various metal bands and horror movies hang on the walls. There are shelves filled with big fantasy books, and every corner of the room has a display cabinet filled with what seem to be collectors' items for various series.
If Steve had been hoping for Vikram to look more like a stereotypical nerd in real life, he would be severely disappointed: the guy looks amazing in a leather jacket that would fit perfectly in Eddie's own collection and black skinny jeans that show off a truly amazing pair of legs, making Steve feel oddly self-conscious about the couple of pounds he gained since he left his high school sports days behind him.
While they're having lunch – Vikram bakes his own bread and it's so good that Steve doesn't think he can ever stop eating – Eddie and Vikram enthusiastically talk each other's heads off about all things Tolkien. Steve, on the other hand, grows more quiet as time passes, not really following along and sure as hell not able to give any contributions to the topic at hand.
'Did you ever try to learn some Sindarin as well, Steve? Or are you more of a Quenya guy?' Vikram asks him in what is no doubt a well-meant attempt to include Steve in the conversation.
Steve hastily swallows a big mouthful of bread and feels his cheeks heat up.
'I never read those books,' he sheepishly confesses.
'Oh!' Vikram's eyes widen and Steve can practically see him think: You never bothered to show any interest in one of your boyfriend's favorite things?
'Well, I mean, I tried,' Steve rushes to explain himself. 'But I um, I couldn't really keep my attention to it. They're a bit difficult to read. For me.' Somehow, explaining it only makes him feel worse about it.
'Oh, yeah, I get it, man. Those books aren't for everyone.'
There is no meanness or hidden insult behind his words. But Steve only feels more like an outsider while Eddie asks Vikram some incomprehensible question that has Vikram giving an in-depth explanation about the difference between two words that literally sound the same to Steve's ears. And when Eddie laughs about a joke that goes way over Steve's head, then says something in that stupidly beautiful nerd language which prompts a laugh from Vikram in return, Steve is reminded in full force how ugly of an emotion jealousy is.
They say goodbye – Eddie says something in Elvish again and Steve has to watch Vikram laugh a joyous laugh about it again – and Steve is quiet during the drive back home.
'Is something wrong?' Eddie asks when they're home, perceptive as always.
'No,' Steve lies.
'Stevie, c'mon.' Eddie studies Steve's face intently, a frown between his eyebrows just barely hidden by his bangs. 'What's going on?' Something in his expression shifts. 'Wait. You didn't like Vikram, did you? Did you hate him?'
'No, I didn't hate him!' Steve is quick to say. 'He's awesome, Eddie, he's perfect and smart and funny and perfect.'
Eddie narrows his eyes like Steve said something weird.
'Why did you say he's perfect twice?'
Steve huffs and runs a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. 'Just drop it, Eddie.'
'No, I'm not dropping it.' Eddie crosses his arms. 'What are you not telling me?'
Steve sighs. 'Okay, I didn't want to bother you with this, because it's my problem and not yours, and jealousy is an ugly emotion, but–'
'You're jealous of Vikram?'
'I mean, he's like, super hot, and he has this cool house, and he loves the same things as you, and you can speak your cool nerd language with him, while I'm too dumb to even read your cool nerd books and–'
'Steve,' Eddie interrupts him. 'You have no reason to be jealous.'
'I just...' Steve pauses, pinches the bridge of his nose. He finally manages to voice the thought that has been eating at him ever since he met Vikram. 'I don't want you to wake up someday and wish that you were with someone as smart as you are.'
The way Eddie's breath catches is barely noticeable. Then, he reaches out and gently places his hands on Steve's shoulders.
'I am with someone as smart as I am,' he says softly.
Steve scoffs.
'No, it's true,' Eddie presses on. 'Okay, so you don't enjoy reading Tolkien, and you don't speak Elvish. I don't care about that, man. I love the way you think. I love your inexhaustible knowledge of weird sports facts. I love how precise you are about weighing ingredients when you're baking something. I love your through-the-roof emotional and social intelligence.' He lifts one hand off of Steve's shoulder to pet his head, almost as if he's some kind of animal. 'You got a pretty big brain in there, no matter what you tell yourself, Stevie. And that's why I love you, more than anyone who speaks Elvish fluently.'
Steve tugs Eddie closer until their bodies are pressed against each other, his arms around Eddie's waist and his head resting on Eddie's shoulder.
'I don't think anyone has ever called me smart before,' he quietly admits.
'Well, I'll do it more often, then,' Eddie replies. 'Cause you are.'
(I wrote this because @undreaming-rambles has reached the unbelievable milestone of a 1000-day duolingo strike today. obviously that called for a silly fanfic celebration moment, congrats on your incredible perseverance aneta 💖 and credit where credit is due: this one was inspired by an episode of my beloved comfort show brooklyn 99)
#don't mind me rambling about stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#fruity ficlet
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