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untitled-starwars-blog · 2 years ago

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Just finished Star Wars: Master & Apprentice, by Claudia Gray!

I finished this book over the course of about three days, and I have a LOT of thoughts! So, for anybody who cares to read them, here they are!

To summarize: I really enjoyed the book overall! The relationship and conflict between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was, as expected, the most compelling part. However, it also introduced some very likeable characters, had a good story, and delved a bit into some very interesting topics such as Jedi prophecies and the difference in the way Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan each interpret the Force. I will say that it did feel a bit rushed towards the end, in my (completely non-professional) opinion, but still definitely an enjoyable read overall!

Now, for all of the detailed thoughts!

(Spoiler warning, for anyone who hasn’t read Master and Apprentice yet, but wants to go into it without knowing plot points ahead of time!)

Old vs New Canon

First of all, as someone who was a huge fan of the Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice series as a kid (and those books definitely still hold a very special place in my heart today), of course one of the things I have to note are some of the differences between the old and new canon. In general, I’m not at all opposed to things being different in the new canon than they were in the old, and actually consider myself to be pretty open to changes (as long as they make sense and are done well, of course!).

One of the first changes that becomes apparent is that the need for a Jedi Initiate to be chosen as a Padawan before they turn thirteen no longer exists. In the Jedi Apprentice series, Initiates who are not chosen by a Master before they turn thirteen are instead sent to one of the Service Corps (like the AgriCorps, to grow food on underprivileged planets). In Master and Apprentice, it’s stated that Qui-Gon still took Obi-Wan as his Padawan when he was thirteen. The difference is that this is actually considered to be pretty young for a Padawan, rather than being the latest that one could be chosen. This does seem to line up more with the established canon, since Ahsoka was fourteen when she became Anakin’s Padawan, and there was no indication that she was older than typical (Anakin actually makes a comment about thinking Ahsoka isn’t even old enough to be a Padawan -- although, he did say this out of annoyance, and likely didn’t mean it seriously).

This is honestly a change that I’m in support of, for a couple of reasons. One: it just makes more sense to me that the selection of younglings as Padawans would happen more often in the early teens (with some outliers, hence how Qui-Gon at twelve and Obi-Wan at thirteen would both be considered young for Padawans, but not unheard of). Whereas the hard cutoff being set at thirteen would mean that most apprentices likely start out at 11-12, and that always seemed very young to me. Two: It also seemed odd to me that there was a hard age cut-off (so young, too) at which point a youngling would be transferred to one of the service corps, losing out on their chance to become a Jedi. While I’m sure some younglings don’t end up having what it takes, I’d imagine sending a youngling away would be a very rare, hard decision with many factors to consider, rather than just “if nobody picked you by thirteen, you’re out of luck.”

Another change is that, while Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon do have their conflicts early on in the Jedi Apprentice series, they work past these issues and become a good duo before long. In Master and Apprentice, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are still out of sync four years into their pairing (when Obi-Wan is seventeen), to the point where Qui-Gon is convinced that they are a mismatch. While they do begin working through their communication issues and strengthening their relationship in this book, the implication that their relationship has been rocky for pretty much the entirety of their first four years together is a pretty significant change. While it’s certainly a bit of a different dynamic than the old canon, it does make for an interesting relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, and I’m really hoping that this is something that will be explored further in future stories -- both the strengthening of their relationship going forward, as well as the ups and downs that I’m sure they had throughout those first four years.

Now, for one of the changes that admittedly disappoints me a little bit... Some of the wording in Master and Apprentice does seem to imply that Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon’s first Padawan, which would mean that Xanatos (and Feemor, although I have no strong opinion of him one way or the other) most likely does not exist in the new canon. This isn’t a hard fact, however -- it’s implied strongly enough that you would almost certainly assume Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon’s first Padawan if you read the book with no prior knowledge of a previous apprentice, but not strongly enough for it to be a contradiction if they were to later say he wasn’t. They never explicitly say that Qui-Gon didn’t have any other Padawans, it’s mostly just that there are some places you would expect it to be mentioned if he did, meaning at the very least that the author is under the impression he did not.

This could always be explained away later as Qui-Gon simply not wanting to acknowledge a previous failed apprentice, if they ever did decide to bring Xanatos into the new canon (and let’s be honest, even if they did explicitly confirm Qui-Gon never had a previous Padawan, Disney has already shown that they don’t really have a problem with contradicting/overwriting their own material later on). While I wouldn’t be heartbroken if Xanatos never makes it into the new canon, it does still disappoint me a little bit, as I always thought he had so much more potential as an antagonist that would be very fun to explore in new Star Wars material.

Something else that I noticed was that Obi-Wan finds it unbelievable that he would ever end up in a real lightsaber duel, or that two Jedi would ever fight each other to the death, and he considers red lightsabers to be something from a time long past. That definitely seems to imply that dark Jedi aren’t really a thing currently, or at least nowhere near common enough for Obi-Wan to have ever encountered or heard about one in the present (Qui-Gon does mention an ancient dark Jedi, so the idea itself isn’t foreign, just the thought that one would pop up now). Obviously, this contrasts with the Jedi Apprentice series, where Xanatos duels them both with a red lightsaber as early as book two.

The final change I noticed (although not from the Jedi Apprentice series, just from old canon in general) is that Dooku apparently left the Order much earlier in the new canon. Previously, I believe Dooku had left the Order at some point following Qui-Gon’s death in The Phantom Menace. In the new canon, he has already left by the time Master and Apprentice takes place (although is not yet a dark Jedi or a Sith, at least as far as they are aware). I really like this development, personally, and hope that we get to see a bit more of how this affects Qui-Gon going forward.

The Characters

As I mentioned before, the conflict and relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is the highlight of Master and Apprentice (as to be expected, given the book’s title). At the start of the book, and for a decent portion of it actually, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are both under the impression that they are failing one another. Qui-Gon believes he is failing Obi-Wan as his Master because he’s unable to adapt his teaching methods to Obi-Wan’s needs, and is convinced that another Master would be able to help Obi-Wan thrive. Obi-Wan believes he is failing Qui-Gon as his Padawan, because he is still unable to understand Qui-Gon and can’t infer what his Master wants him to do without straightforward directions (which Qui-Gon, more often than not, does not provide). So much of the conflict between them boils down to one of two things: their difference in ideals, or a lack of communication.

The lack of communication is pretty straightforward, and a perfect example of this is something that gets brought up a few times throughout the course of the book: why Qui-Gon has kept Obi-Wan doing the basic lightsaber cadences, as opposed to more advanced forms that most other Padawans would have moved on to by now. Qui-Gon doesn’t explain his reasoning to Obi-Wan, and just expects him to know, which he does not. This leads to Obi-Wan dipping into his own self-doubt and assuming the worst: that Qui-Gon doesn’t think he’s ready, or perhaps never intended on finishing his training to begin with. This is a perfect example of a problem between them that could have been solved if they had just communicated -- if Qui-Gon had ever told his Padawan his reasoning, or if Obi-Wan had ever asked.

Their difference in ideals is something that is actually very interesting to explore. Obi-Wan follows the rules, while Qui-Gon bends them frequently. Obi-Wan trusts in the authority of the Jedi Council even if he has his doubts, while Qui-Gon argues with them and goes behind their back when he disagrees with their stance. They have differing ideas of right and wrong, differing opinions on how to act, and differing interpretations of the Force. While this is initially one of the reasons they believe they are a bad fit, they eventually come to the conclusion that they can both learn a lot from one another because of these differences between them. This is something that I hope we get to see a lot more of.

With the main duo out of the way, this book also introduces some other very likeable characters as well.

Rael Averross is, in my opinion, the most interesting of the new additions. I find the idea of a rogue Jedi very intriguing -- he is part of the Order, and does consider himself a Jedi, but holds a much looser interpretation of the Jedi Code (probably most apparent by his rejection of celibacy, as he believes that he can indulge in casual sex without forming attachments, since the attachments are actually what is forbidden). Many Jedi consider his demeanor to be largely due to the fact that he was brought to the Jedi Temple older than most, and that feeds into their reluctance to train Anakin later on. Rael also has a very tragic past with his former Padawan, which drives many of his actions going forward. I like how he and Qui-Gon are similar in some ways, but very different in others, and how that shows through their friendship.

Rahara and Pax are two characters that I was a bit unsure of at first, but they grew on me as the story went on. I like the relationship that they have with one another, and they served their purpose in the story well. However, they do strike me as characters who are specific to this story, and probably won’t be popping up again except for maybe a passing mention here and there (as opposed to Rael, who I’m almost positive will be returning in other pre- Phantom Menace stories at some point).

Dooku only ever appeared in flashbacks to when Qui-Gon was a Padawan, and one short call with Rael at the end of the book. I really enjoyed these flashback sequences, as I feel like they gave a lot of insight to both Dooku and Qui-Gon as characters. In particular, I thought it was very interesting to see how the prophecies seemed to tempt Dooku in a way that they did not with Qui-Gon, despite them sharing the same interest. The moment where Dooku uses force lightning to save Qui-Gon from a bounty hunter also really stuck out to me, as did Qui-Gon’s subsequent concern for his Master’s soul. The relationship between Dooku and Qui-Gon is one that I hadn’t given much thought to before, but these flashback sequences really piqued my interest! I’m looking forward to seeing a bit more of them now, in the upcoming Tales of the Jedi animated anthology series.

The Story

I definitely enjoyed the story of Master and Apprentice as a whole. The beginning sequence with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon on Teth served as a great opening, and had me invested from the very start. Then, Qui-Gon’s invitation to the Jedi Council and the wrench that this throws into his relationship with Obi-Wan served as a good instigator for them to finally begin confronting the issues that they’ve been having. Of course, we know that Qui-Gon is going to end up turning down the offer and remain as Obi-Wan’s Master, but the journey that he takes to come to that conclusion is the interesting part. I suppose my only complaint there would be that I do wish his relationship with Obi-Wan had more to do with his decision (it did sort of seem like keeping or losing Obi-Wan as a Padawan was viewed as just a result of his decision, rather than a factor in that decision), but it does make sense for Qui-Gon as a character that his driving motivation was his relationship with the Force.

The situation on Pijal was an enjoyable setting for the story to take place. While some of the revelations seemed pretty obvious (like the Opposition not actually being the ones responsible for the terrorist attacks and assassination attempts), I honestly did not see it coming when Fanry stabbed the Skykeeper and assumed absolute power. That was a twist that definitely worked on me!

My only real complaint with the story is that the ending did seem a bit rushed to me. From the time Fanry stabs the Skykeeper to the time the threat is over lasts a total of about 30 pages. Perhaps that’s all it needed to be (I’m far from a professional writer or reviewer), but to me, everything following the moment where Fanry assumes absolute power and boards her ship seemed to be a little bit anticlimactic. The coronation scene was very gripping though, so perhaps that was the real climax of the story, as opposed to actually freeing Rahara and stopping Fanry. Everything seemed to wrap up pretty quickly and neatly after that, to the point where I sort of wish things had slowed down and taken their time a bit more.

Other Miscellaneous Thoughts

I really liked Pijal’s style of things being dull and simplistic on the outside, but beautiful and ornate on the inside. It made for some unique and beautiful imagery that I very much enjoyed picturing in my head!

I was initially surprised at the presence of Czerka, since most of my exposure to them comes from KOTOR (although I’m aware they’ve been in other properties as well). Their inclusion in the story was a welcome surprise, though!

Overall Thoughts

My summary at the beginning pretty much covers it, but I very much enjoyed reading Master and Apprentice! I always love a good Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon story, and am hoping to see a lot more of this duo in new canon material going forward!

Next on my reading list is Padawan by Kiersten White, which I believe is set prior to Master and Apprentice. It should be getting delivered when it releases tomorrow!

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superbdragoncollection-stuff · 2 years ago

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The Hardest Thing was the hardest series finale to watch, and I don’t think people are taking it seriously

This is a perfunctory piece, I will have more words on this later.

What upset me so much wasn’t just the friends drifting apart, it was the found families being violently and mercilessly ripped apart. It felt incredibly mean, upsetting, insulting, and hurtful, and I am deeply distressed that so few people seem to be taking it seriously. This show focuses so heavily on found family, and then it felt like it proceeds to turn around and insult it.

From a writing perspective, it was inappropriate. It was unnecessarily traumatic. It had very upsetting implications about found families. The word “realism” is overused far too often. It appears to suffer from serious homophobic and bigoted corporate interference. The theme of change, and the themes of the show overall are undermined by the dramatic and bitter writing choices made for the ending. This finale was deeply upsetting and sad, and I’m not sure I can watch the show again.

I will say that the rest of the episode, while not perfect, was adequate. It was the last five minutes that were the problem. If the show had ended with the girls leaving, that would have prevented a lot of pain and hurt. Yet it didn’t. Instead, we are treated to them being permanently cut off for a decade. That implication is incredibly upsetting and hurtful.

The weeks surrounding the finale were the two worst weeks of my life. And Amphibia became one of the factors. There was serious emotional upheaval in my life, several extreme emotional catastrophes, and this finale cut very, very deep. I was going through many life changes, and this stabbed me in every single one of the most vulnerable places I had right then; leaving a familiar place, loss, graduation, and age. Every single button they could have possibly pushed was hit with a hammer. I am very sad and very upset about this even weeks later, and nothing I can do mentally seems to fix it.

One of the show’s appeals in my mind is that it subverts typical tropes, and takes trauma seriously, that we see people reacting to these things that in other stories would be glossed over. That’s kind of the point of Marcy’s arc. What we get in the finale feels very different from everything we’ve seen in the show.

It felt like the show was betraying its themes, and all the people felt really out of character to me. There is no way that these characters would accept the ending that they got, there is no way they would accept being torn apart again. The Guardian should have been the ultimate evil, or at least, something for Anne to fight against, that it would propose a traditional cutoff ending, and that she and the family would defy it. Instead she and the gang accept it happily, in a bittersweet ending that’s meant to be heartwarming but has only served to make me feel grief, because I felt insulted as a member of a found family.

This finale insults found families in the worst way possible; it feels as if they are saying found families are temporary. I felt insulted by this ending, I never expected my comfort show to come across like this. It felt to me like it was saying that found family is temporary and will inevitably drift apart. It feels like its saying biological families are more important somehow, that found families are somehow lesser or temporary. And that feels like a betrayal of the entire show’s message. Everyone came together, the found families reunited, the best friends joined back together, just in time to be violently ripped apart forever. I am a second generation member of a found family. I come from a found family that has stayed together for over thirty years, and I have only existed for 2/3rds of that. As someone over eighteen, I am affected by this, and I can’t imagine what this might be doing to children watching, especially those who have lost loved ones to the pandemic. Most of all, those with found families, or with gay parents. They have just been told that their families aren’t permanent, and that they will drift apart. And further, that their close friends, who stuck through them through thick and thin, will be dragged away by their biological families.

I am upset that Marcy went back with her parents, that Sasha went back with her parents, and that the trio drifted away, even if it was "only" for ten years. I enjoy that they still had a connection, and that they almost certainly became a poly trio, but that doesn't help much. I like that they still have a connection, and that there might even be the implication that they could go back some day, but I'm still pretty upset. It's not just the friendship I'm concerned about, I'm upset because found families shouldn't get broken up.

I am almost positive (and desperately hoping) that Disney forced them to tone it down after True Colors. Considering how the Owl House was sabotaged, and how True Colors got delayed and leaked in the same day, we can be sure there was definitely something going on behind the scenes. Delays on short notice like True Colors is something that rarely happens in TV. It costs NBC six million dollars to pull the plug on a live broadcast, so it cost them money to delay True Colors. It was probably a warning as well as a practical measure, and so I'm guessing Amphibia was forced to play ball and tone it down.

I also believe half of the ending was Disney "degayifying" things. Given the sabotage, and what happened to the Owl House, and how we got it pretty much confirmed that's what happened in the last year, this is almost certainly something that happened. We never got an answer to why Anne was blushing in that episode when she was talking to Marcy. The one confirmed lesbian couple aside from the newt moms made a non-speaking reappearance in All In, after not appearing for most of the season. I'm fairly certain Marcy's line about "I wish I had gotten to know you better" to Olivia and Yunan was shade at Disney similar to the Owl House episode the previous night. I'm positive Disney must've told them to not keep them on screen together very much. The fact that they can't even have them say out loud they're a couple is pretty messed up. She was the only one who didn’t seem to get a proper found family, and everything pointed to Yunan and Olivia being the new found family, and it’s incredibly awful to keep Andrias as her sole connection. The two she had the most connection with by the finale were Yunan and Olivia.

I am happy that Olivia and Yunan are a canon couple, and yet I can’t think about that last scene of them without thinking of Marcy, and how she should have been with them. It’s very upsetting. She deserved better than that, and what the show gave her. Marcy has to go back to her miserable home with her terrible parents, and I can’t help but think that Olivia and Yunan wouldn’t be able to get over it either.

Disney is fine with killing parents, they're not okay with breaking up even abusive families, or with letting two lesbian moms adopt a kid. Found families are typically associated with LGBT families, not to mention the US still has a terrible problem with kids being adopted. Up until the 80s it wasn't even something you said out loud, it could be a scandal if someone was adopted. So it's very easy to see Disney execs telling them to not have Marcy and her newt moms hang out. In Deep Space Nine in the 90s, the execs once told the writers to literally stop putting Julian Bashir and Garak together in scenes because the chemistry was so powerful. Oh, and the actors literally asked "so what, we're Star Trek's first gay couple?" Those same kind of execs are almost certainly still in charge, the old fossils.

I’m positive executive meddling was at work here, or I’m desperately hoping so. The sort of trauma in season 3 that the show has dealt with before in season 2 wasn't properly addressed, like Marcy sobbing as she got stabbed through the chest, or screaming as she's getting possessed by an eldritch demon. This is in contrast with how we had Anne dealing with Hop Pop's betrayal, with Sasha dealing with her issues with Anne(or not dealing with them), or both of them angsting over Marcy's behavior. Marcy got some, yeah, but she also got a seriously short end of the stick. We also never saw Sasha and Marcy's parents, despite some heavy implications.

My favorite character is Marcy, and her treatment felt incredibly hurtful. She’s one of the best sources of representation for me as a neurodivergent and a disabled person, and all of that is glossed over. I’ve seen a few people online agree with me. Her injuries are ignored and glossed over, as is her trauma. Despite being the “heart” of the show, she gets the short end of the stick.

Make no mistake, Marcy and Sasha’s families were awful. This is not inference, this is not subtext. Literally everything we are told about their families indicates that.

It's just so sad for Marcy that she got the short end of the stick. She barely got any time with a found family of any kind. Her surrogate dad is a man who literally tried to kill her, and indeed stabbed her, she spends time as a meat puppet to an eldritch horror, she went back with her implied to be abusive family, and the horrible thing she expected to happen happened. She moved away, and she didn't talk much with her friends for ten years. I suppose there's an implication that they at least maintained contact, and I know they reunite, and they're able to slide back in. There's a few people I know who I can just do that with. And I know the theme, yet it's still so utterly depressing and sad that she had to grow up like that, alone with her awful parents.

Her entire story starting off the show wasn't just about the moving. That's an emotional thing already, but her parents were terrible beyond that. She did not grow up in a good home. The box seems like an impulsive decision, but in True Colors she uses language and phrases that sound like she's parroting her parents, saying “I gave you all this” and stuff like that. She seems to value her friends more than she values her family. Anne's family keeps her favorite ice cream at her house, suggesting she spent more time at Anne’s place than anywhere else.

Kids don't run away to a fantasy land and have little interest in seeing their parents again if they're from a healthy and relatively happy family. And they certainly don't have that reaction just because the parents wanted to move. Sometimes the emotional and verbal abuse leaves deeper scars. Even college students get homesick and miss their parents. So a person showing little to no signs of that, especially a child means something is very wrong. Not to mention, the tones of voice her parents were trying to use to calm their emotionally-distraught daughter weren’t what I’d call acceptable. It feels incredibly upsetting to me to see my favorite character, who I relate to the most, and who I want to see represent me, be constantly given the short end of the stick, be shown little in the way of trauma recovery/confrontation, or have any consequences for the injuries she goes through.

Sasha certainly didn’t grow up in a good home either, considering her control issues, and there can be lots of different kinds of poor family environments. I just think that her parents were of the more neglectful and/or controlling type. She doesn’t show too much love for her parents, but she also buries her emotions and makes this difficult to gauge. Marcy’s family was not straight-up physically abusive, I think she’s the one of the three who has the closest thing to a traditionally abusive household.

I don't even have to make estimates, or use psychology to analyze the patterns of abuse depicted in this show. I just have to literally use the evidence in the show. Anne is the only one who wants to see her parents again, she is the only one who wants to go home and has fond memories of her mom. Marcy never mentions her parents. Sasha's control issues("If I'm not in control I lose my mind!"), like Marcy's language, seem to stem from parroting her parents. Sasha is also dealing with her parents that she cares so little for, when she tried to send Anne back to Earth, she openly said "say hi to your parents for me". She never mentions her parents ever.

Grime is a father figure of sorts for Sasha, despite a bumpy road. It is very clearly asserted that Olivia was a mother figure for Marcy, and Yunan could slide in pretty easily, heck, she does in the last episode! And we know Anne, her parents, and the Plantars integrated extremely well. So seeing the found families form these extremely strong bonds only to have them be cut off like this is upsetting.

It's terrible Sasha had to go back with her parents, and it's really, really sad to me that Marcy had to grow up with her awful parents, rather than allow her to be adopted by her newt moms. She means a lot to me emotionally as a character, and I'm upset at what happened. It's really sad that they broke up the found families, especially as to me it feels like it defeats a lot of the themes of the show. And ten years...I come from the second generation of a found family, with many LGBT members, so this cut really deep to me personally.

I thought we were going to have a trope subversion or something. Amphibia is pretty good about that, so I didn't expect to see a standard issue portal closure ending. I mean having modern Earth appear at all in this kind of story, let alone government intervention and a pitched battle in downtown Los Angeles, is next to impossible to find in this genre. I thought the portal closure was going to be a fakeout. Having some kind of travel between the worlds would be nice. I am well aware of how Gravity Falls ended, but that wasn't the same thing. One cannot compare them. I realize how many of the themes can be interpreted as being about growing up, and at the same time, "leaving childhood friends behind" was the phrase that completely destroyed Amphibia, and shutting down multiverse travel was something else that came from a pretty biased source.

I'm also aware of the realism arguments people bring up, about how friends can drift apart. Yes, that can happen, and I find it strange that this is the case under these circumstances. Most people will defend it as being “realistic”, that loss is expected in these scenarios, that nothing lasts forever, etc. That may be true, and yet I can’t help feeling hurt. There is no positive feeling for me. This finale wants to be heartwarming, but all I can feel is grief, because it feels like it is throwing out all the themes it spent the last three years building. And it’s not realistic. You can’t cherry-pick realism like this. If this were realistic, they’d stick together, because they’re the only people they can relate to. Because their families were so violently torn apart, there are only two other people on Earth each of the girls can relate to. There is no way they would drift apart like this. After WWI, soldiers couldn’t relate to civilians, but they could meet other veterans, total strangers on the street and share a beer with them, because they understood what they were going through.

I've heard theories like the show creator basing it too much off his own experience, or perhaps that he wrote it down before certain factors were developed. Considering the sabotage and the experience Owl House has had, not to mention the bad marketing for both of them, I'm fairly certain there was heavy executive meddling.

I've been staying off of most social media because this utterly destroyed me. It cut really deep and it's making my daily life hard at the moment.

And I’m really upset because I feel like the journal coming out soon will do the same thing, and gloss over Marcy’s injuries again. I’ve seen other Amphibia fans who are disabled be mad at some of the language we’ve seen already.

This was incredibly upsetting for me, this was the most upsetting series finale I have seen in my life, and I am incredibly disturbed that few people in the fandom are taking it seriously. This was my comfort show, and I can’t look at it anymore without feeling this awful. I felt insulted as a member of a found family, as a neurodivergent person, as a disabled person.

These are my preliminary thoughts. It’s a bit of a mess. I’m just posting my initial thoughts now because I am angry and hurt. I am desperately hoping Marcy’s Journal isn’t as problematic as it seems, and that it can solve some of these problems, but my heart sinks at what I’ve seen so far.

I hope someone can take this seriously.

#amphibia #amphibia season 3 #amphibia season 3 spoilers #Amphibia Spoilers #the hardest thing #Upsetting episode of a favorite show #im sad and angry

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adelle-ein · 3 years ago

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big ol messy doodle dump collected from the past....awhile...? about team AGES 1.0/the previous heroes of light

no but seriously i’ve been accumulating these for. Some Time. and also used them for brush tests and other experiments. so that’s why the art style is all over the damn place

far too much elaboration/headcanons under the cut:

- everyone but Aileen is in their early-to-mid thirties (just based on general Bravely Facial Structure rules, they look like they’ve made it past the 30 cutoff to start growing noses and cheekbones)

- Sloan is a lot rasher and dumber at the start of the adventure than the younger version of him we see in flashbacks etc. He grows up though.

Extremely Loyal Knight TM wars with his personal feelings, and he has a tendency to prioritize his mission over the good of the people sometimes (which clashes hard with Emma.)

Born in a small village but has been living in Musa since meeting Godric as a mercenary some years ago. Agrees to accompany Godric as personal bodyguard on his quest because besties.

Awakens his crystal very early on when Godric comes under threat, cinching his loyalty despite having been a mere mercenary up to that point and unsure if he was a True Knight. Godric formally knights him afterwards and he becomes Sir Sloan.

As long as he insists on always calling Godric “Your Majesty,” Godric insists on always calling him “Sir Sloan,” although that makes him mad because Godric shouldn’t have to use a formal title for him. Meanwhile Godric says the other three should call him by name and Sloan is the only one who refuses. It’s now become a mutual pride thing.

After he finds out about Aileen she also becomes “Your Majesty” which ticks her off because fairies don’t use titles like that and nothing’s changed anyway. He’s very stubborn. Also it can be very confusing to have two Majesties but this doesn’t stop him.

- Godric is just generally the Nice One and the one who does most of the real leading from behind (much like how Gloria is really in charge of the party, not Seth, although Godric is much more “nice” than Gloria.)

Has known his whole life he would probably have to be the sacrifice, especially after his mother died, but now that he has a young son, is determined to live for his child’s sake and find the alleged “other way” to defeat the nexus his mother had been researching. So he and Sloan set out on ~a quest~ and meet the others shortly afterwards (bravely parties never take too long to form.)

He probably just has the crystals with him from the start, but maybe they lose them? Idk haven’t decided. Get them back by the end either way though.

Awakens his crystal after Sloan tells him to run and save himself -- as king and the only adult member of the royal family, his life is too valuable, think of his son, blah blah blah. Godric considers it but ultimately refuses and awakens the water crystal instead when he does.

I have not decided if Godric/Sloan is just an eternal mutual pining thing or not yet. Honestly that feels more fitting for the characters BUT like. also feels very cruel. undecided. Nobody’s cheating on anybody though! I haven’t figured out the exact timeline or what my headcanons are but I’m sure of that bit.

Gloria’s earrings are made from the gem in his staff

- Emma is still technically in training (although clearly has magical skills far beyond anyone else) and Extremely prickly to the other three early on. And still kind of prickly to Sloan in particular, forever. She does love them very much though, just don’t try and get her to express it.

Very focused on the will of the common over greater good and fights with Sloan over it frequently, ultimately decides to continue the quest not for Musa or for the Crystals, but in hope of preventing others from having to suffer the way they have under the Nexus (which....yeah)

Wiswald isn’t Wiswald yet, just (in Sloan’s mind) a tiny village in the middle of a forest, but when it gets attacked by a Nexus monster Emma loses her shit and awakens her crystal, ultimately creating what would become the Great Tree when she destroys it.

Sloan: “oh no that maiden is being set upon by dangerous beasts!” Godric: “Yes we must help at once!” Emma: *explodes everything in the vicinity* (and that’s how they meet)

I have her freelancer design in my emma tag btw

- Aileen being a beastmaster is based on the Sylvan Bow description, which reads “a bow fashioned from the bone of a mighty beast that once belonged to the Queen of the Fairies.” Obviously you can read that sentence two ways but well. Beastmaster feels more fun for her than ranger to me + then I can make her walking stick a lance + it would explain why all these dangerous monsters live in the fount and Esmerelda apparently has a soft spot for them.

She’s probably kind of a combination of “peacemaker motherly figure” and “nightmare who causes endless grief for the other three by doing extremely irresponsible things.” Also hides her identity for the first arc or so until it’s forced out, and then once it does come out, casually drops the fact that she’s not just a fairy but the goddamn queen later on. Much wiser than she ever lets on, though. Very good with monsters and animals.

Most of the asterisks are stolen from her and are recovered throughout the story. She never had bravebearer to start with, though -- it was lost many centuries ago, and even she doesn’t know much about it (she only became queen in the last four hundred years.)

“oh i’m just a poor feeble little old lady” “Aileen you can throw a man three times your size”

Very much wants to reconcile humans and fairies, as she is the only fairy old enough to clearly remember a long time before the Nexus and the rift happened (Esmerelda is the only other one who can remember, and was considered quite young in fairy years.) Has spent many years in Mag Mell, but when she heard the Nexus rise again, decided it wasn’t fair to have the humans deal with it alone yet again. Hopes that if they can destroy the monster, they can destroy the old grudge as well.

Awakens her crystal in the Rimedhal area in front of Domenic, who knows she’s a fairy (canon.) Haven’t come up with the exact scenario, but probably involves a grand gesture trying to bridge the gap between humans and fairies (and while things look promising at the time...obviously it doesn’t last.)

- Their journey mostly focuses on finding the centuries-lost bravebearer asterisk, said to be the key to defeating the Nexus. However, they never hear of or find the book, so it’s futile from the start.

The world is being set upon by dangerous monsters infused with dark energy (the Nexus) which serve as the main enemies. There might also be some Nexus-corrupted people using the missing asterisks which have to be reclaimed and collected for our guys to use.

I think these four would have stronger “canon” stat differences than their counterparts -- Godric and Emma would have a heavy magic lean while Sloan and Aileen would have a heavy physical lean.

Overall their quest takes at least a few years, and we go from “seas and winds kinda acting weird” to “clearly the world is on the brink of ending.” At which point, despite all knowing they aren’t quite prepared enough, everyone has no choice but to go after the Nexus.

- My attempt to piece together the Aileen situation: Aileen is devoured by the Nexus while protecting the other three, but the Crystals revive her. They tell her to wait for a visitor by the sea, and then she will be allowed to die. However, they cannot fully undo what the Nexus did to her, and as a result, nobody has clear memories of her remaining - only that she existed. Emma manages to find her again a few years later and Aileen explains this, but even then Emma can’t clearly picture her anymore. Aileen leaves the asterisks (minus salve-maker in Enderno and black mage with Emma) at the border to Mag Mell (she can’t reenter as nobody knows who she is anymore) and Esmerelda finds and returns them to the Fount until Edna steals them again.

After she plays her role fifty years later, she dies instantly, and all recent memory of her fades completely. If asked in Mag Mell, the fairies would think she died fifty years ago and Esmerelda has been queen since. She is actually remembered within the afterlife, though, and the current Heroes Of Light are vaguely aware she helped them, if not anything of what she looked like or who she was.

- The bravebearer asterisk breaks, Godric sacrifices himself and asks Sloan to look after his son for him. Sloan takes this job Very Seriously as we all know. Godric’s dying words are reassurance that the light will come again, in time, and an implication he has a dying vision of the future.

Sloan and Emma, as the only survivors, return Godric’s body to Musa and then part, never seeing each other again without the other two holding them together. There’s still mutual respect and friendship, but they aren’t able to act on it, and can’t help blaming both each other and themselves despite knowing it’s unfair. They do speak of each other fondly to their respective wards fifty years later, though, as we know.

With Aileen and Godric gone and Sloan busy in Musa, Emma takes it upon herself to pave the way for the next Heroes of Light (although she thinks it’ll be much longer than it ends up being.) Ultimately leads her to the book in her last years of life. Hears of what happened in Musa and knows what it probably means, but no longer has the strength at that point to do anything but continue her research, dying about two years later.

Sloan and Emma both have hunches about Gloria and Elvis respectively but really, really hope they’re wrong. After Musa falls, Sloan knows he is most likely raising the next sacrifice, but when Seth shows up and awakens the wind crystal (and brings along two weirdly fitting friends), he hopes Gloria will be the one to use the crystals and find a way to live.

#bravely default 2 #bravely default ii #bravely default #bd2 #bd2 spoilers #bd2spoilers #sloan #godric #emma #aileen #myart #bdart #s: godric and sloan #emma odilia

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builder051 · 3 years ago

Text

The talk

Chasing Ghosts

(I generally do not play in this arena; DO NOT ask for other stories with PMS, etc., as illness features. I do loosely plan to continue this thread, though. Or @mohini-musing might pick up for me.)

Warnings: weight (though not ED context), SA inc. prostitution, blood, emeto

____________________________

Tasha comes down the hall and stands like a ghost behind the sofa.

James is in the recliner across the living room, and he barely looks up from the textbook he's pretending to peruse. The quiet music he's had playing in one ear has long since captured his attention more than the multiplication of matrices. He's fairly sure he'll never use the skill lest he become a software engineer post-graduation, and the prospect of that's looking pretty slim.

He sees Tasha out of his peripheral vision, but doesn't move his head or lift his eyes for acknowledgment. She's probably drifted down from her weekend high, realized it's Sunday night, and gotten up for a Gatorade and maybe a glance at her homework.

Steve, though, who's lying on his stomach and taking up the whole of the couch, practically jumps to attention. He stands, scoots, and sits again in the amount of time it takes James to blink and make the first inhalation of a laugh.

"Sorry," Steve says, as if he's personally offended Tasha and just been called out. "I didn't mean... I was just, like, studying..."

Tasha shrugs. "Didn't come to sit with you," she says, in a voice that recalls the 'boys are gross' tone of young teenagerhood.

"What's up, then?" James asks, trying to bring back the balance of the room's atmosphere.

Tasha makes an ugly face. She opens her mouth, then shuts it. "Can I talk to you alone?"

James scoffs. "You think there's privacy in this apartment?"

"I can go, I don't know--" Steve looks around.

"Just talk," James says. He almost rolls his eyes, but the undercurrent of Tasha's affect seems to hold an air of seriousness. If there's something she needs to confess or ask for help with, he doesn't want her to feel less than secure.

Tasha lets out a breathy sort of sigh. "Blood," she says. "There's blood."

"Huh?" Steve responds first. "Where?"

James takes a little longer to contemplate the admission. Has she cut herself? There's no visible damage; Tasha's not holding an injury or howling in pain. Bloody vomit? That's nothing new, really, and even with vampire-red teeth, which she doesn't have, Tasha probably wouldn't come crying to him.

James is still thinking when Tasha points vaguely down the hall and to the left, which is, technically speaking, her side of the apartment. Or at least the bedroom and bathroom they'd parceled out for her when they'd unofficially moved her out of her dreary campus housing.

"What, in your room?" Steve asks.

"No." Tasha screws up her eyes. "I mean... I'm bleeding."

The cogs continue to turn in James's head, and just as he lands on an answer, Steve gives up, shaking his head and saying, "I don't get it."

"Fuck you," Tasha mumbles. "Both of you." She turns and starts to head back down the hallway.

"Tash." James jumps to his feet, his algebra book falling to the floor.

"You guys are fucking gay..."

"Hey!" Steve interjects.

James flaps his hand at Steve to shut him up. "Maybe we're gay, but I'm your big brother." He shoots a quick glance at Steve, hoping this won't surpass his no privacy promise. They've done some pretty wild stuff together: partying, puking, cleaning the carpet... Period talk shouldn't be too far out of their wheelhouse. At least, not if Tasha wants to talk about it.

Tasha huffs and rounds the edge of the sofa. She stands beside the arm, leaning her hip against it for a moment, before finally deciding to sit down, as far away from Steve as possible.

"I..." James starts, assuming it's his responsibility to keep the conversation going. "I assumed you hadn't been, um. You know."

Tasha's 100 pounds soaking wet. In her usual cutoff shorts and tank tops, he'd give her 95. Maybe 92 if she's detoxing. James assumes she has something like female athlete triad going on, except without the athlete. He doesn't like to think she's just too skinny to go through... normal biological processes. If he blames the drugs, sees them as wrecking her body instead of bringing her solace, then he'll have to turn eyes on himself, and there's no way in hell he wants to do that.

"Smart one," Tasha says. "And exactly how much thought do you give to the functioning of my uterus?"

Steve gives an 'oh shit' face, looking from James to Tasha and back again as if wondering how he's been so thick headed. James agrees, but is also relieved, in a way, that his boyfriend hasn't been thinking about his sister in, well, that way.

"Seeing as I have, more than once, pulled you out of an R-rated situation with iffy consent, and you have yet to become pregnant--" James starts.

"Yeah, ok, you don't have to..." Tasha shakes her head.

James decides not to stop his momentum. "Do you know how much sex you're having? How often you're using protection?"

"I said, you don't have to." Tasha glares at him. "I don't have one. A cycle, or whatever. I can't get knocked up."

"Well, I figured that, but you can still get an STD--

"I don't think you're hearing me," Tasha says. "I don't have one. I haven't. Like, ever."

"But--what?" James squints and cocks his head. "What about, what was it? Cheerleading camp?"

"That stupid summer program when I was 16?" Tasha bites her lip. "Yeah, that was a lie."

"You're losing me." Steve reminds them he's part of the conversation as well.

"What, didn't your mom send you to cheerleading camp when you were a sullen teen?" Tasha asks him, seemingly in all seriousness.

"Um. No." Steve withers a little under her stare. "There was a threat to beat it out of me with a bible when I was that age, but that never came to fruition."

"Mm. Fun times." Tasha scrubs her hair back from her face. "I told mom of the moment I started at camp, so then she couldn't go nuts about the moment I 'became a woman,' or whatever."

Tasha has always seemed like a little kid to James. Her stint at camp had only taken place... he quickly calculates... 3ish years ago. Tasha is a kid. She hasn't busted 20 years old yet. But, for the first time James wonders if other, more metaphorical factors are at play.

The idea quickly fades, though, when he remembers the actual topic at hand. "Ok, but Tash," James says. "What's actually going on right now?"

Tasha practically sinks into the couch cushions. She wraps both arms around her abdomen. "Blood," she says. "Kinda...everywhere."

"We'll clean the bathroom later," James says dismissively.

"And I'll do laundry," Steve offers. "I used to be the scrawny kid who got beat up a lot. I can do bloodstains."

"Not helping, babe," James tells him before Tasha can get a word in.

"Feel sick," Tasha admits, rather suddenly.

"Bathroom it is, then," James decides. "But, let's use mine."

Tasha seems to have turned into a shapeless blob on the corner of the couch, her chest meeting her thighs with her arms still wrapped around her stomach. Her face is in her knees, which James has to admit, would be easier to clean than the carpet.

"Come on," he says gently, taking Tasha's shoulder. "If you're gonna puke, don't do it here, please."

"But I already diiiiid," Tasha complains, drawing out the last word and adding the hiccup of a fake crying fit.

"Sorry." James hooks his flesh arm across Tasha's chest and lets her cling to him down the hall. He takes her into his and Steve's disorganized yet bleach-shined bathroom. Cleaning was practically Steve's hobby. Yet keeping down the clutter? Not his strong suit.

Unsure of exactly what kind of sick his sister intends to be, he sets her down, fully clothed, on the toilet, which, of course, has the seat up. Then he dives for the trash can and shoves it into Tasha's chest.

She gives James an appreciative glare, then sets her chin on the edge of the trash can, ostensibly to wait for an upcoming retch. James can practically see it, rising from the bottom of her spine, up her back, to her neck and throat before finally pushing a pitiful amount of spit and bile out of her mouth.

"Ok..." James sighs. If she's down to just that, she's been at it a while. Lost a lot of fluids already.

"Gatorade?" Steve asks in a chipper tone, putting voice to what James is thinking without a trace of delicacy.

"Hmph." Tasha spits. "If it'll... make it stop burning..."

"Lemme guess, vodka last night?" James tries to make her laugh. Maybe cough.

"Fuck you."

"Eh, we'll talk about that later," James says, hoping he doesn't sound threatening. "For now, how about I go with you?" James pulls on Steve's arm and heads for the bathroom door.

"Hey, you said no privacy here..." Tasha's irritated and sickly voice trails after them.

"Yeah, well, puking people aren't allowed to leave the bathroom," James says. "That's the house rule that trumps all the others."

"But I puke on the couch all the time--"

"That's because it's too hard to get your fucking limp-ass octopus body into the bathroom in the first place." James rolls his eyes. "Just sit tight."

He quickly drags Steve into the kitchen. "Ok," he says. "You have to know about this stuff. You took health class in high school, right?"

"I've lived with a woman," Steve reminds James, a little shamefully. "But Peggy was super private. You know, like inhibited, about, like, um..."

"Yeah, I get it." James shrugs. Then, "Did you know you can stem a nosebleed with a tampon?"

"Why would I?"

"I don't know..." James shakes his head.

"Why do you?" Steve looks a little take aback now.

"The field. Desert air's pretty damn dry."

"Ah. Ok."

"We'd get donations of shit from the states. Care packages, Costco overstock, you know. Just, whatever. When we got pads and stuff, whoever was unloading the box would just hold them over their head and yell 'who needs them?'"

"And I'm assuming people would just raise their hands?" Steve postulates.

"Yup." James pops the P. "No privacy. Everyone knows everyone else's bathroom habits. When you're deep in the field, there's no men's and women's facilities. Half the time the privies don't even have doors."

"Ok." Steve nods. "Experience, then. You have lots of experience."

James shrugs again. "You have to be chill, ok?" He opens the fridge and pulls out two bottles of Gatorade. He holds one to either side of Steve's neck, as if to physically cool him. "This is, like, super weird and awkward for her. She's really scared, I think, and her brave face just looks...jerk-ish."

"Yeah." Steve takes the Gatorade. "I can be good with this. I really care about her, even if she doesn't think I do."

"I know you do," James says. "It's all in the presentation right now, though. She's skittish. But, also, for some reason, willing to talk. We have to tease it out. And you can't ruin it, ok?"

"Ok, ok." Steve seems to understand, even if he doesn't appreciate the words.

They head back to the bathroom, where Tasha has, for whatever reason, decided to heave into the toilet instead of the trash. She squats awkwardly, sitting on one heel. From the angle he's at, James can see a spreading stain on the back of Tasha's shorts, which has made an imprint on her ankle and the bottom of her foot.

"Don't move," James says, reaching for a towel.

"The fuck would I?" Tasha coughs, holding her stomach and moaning.

"Well, when you're done, stand up slowly and wipe your feet."

"...Shit..." Tasha spits. "Like I said. It's fucking everywhere."

"Yeah..." Menstrual blood, James has no experience with. But blood in general, yeah. It does get fucking everywhere. There's that first moment when the entire body and all its systems are still in shock, like when the arm is first blown off, and then all he can see is red. Even the bone that was white just a second ago is lost in a sea of scarlet--

"Well, I suppose congratulations are in order," Steve says with a grin, clearly trying to be friendly, but missing out on one, or more, of the points. "You're not pregnant."

"Well, of course I'm not, you dingbat," Tasha replies, rolling her eyes so hard that James is sure it must give her a headache. If she doesn't already have one. "And besides. He used a condom."

"Wait," James says. He's been preoccupied by not looking at Steve. "You know that?" he pokes cautiously. "For sure?"

"...Yeah..."

"Every time?"

"To be honest," Tasha starts, spitting and pushing herself away from the toilet. She crab-walks to the towel, wipes her feet, then sits on it, criss-cross like a little kid. "I don't know if he actually gets off every time." She draws her mouth into a straight, defensive line.

"The fuck does that have to do with anything?" James asks.

Steve looks very much like he wants to get the bleach from the cabinet under the sink, pour it into one ear, tip his head, and see if it comes out the other.

"He pulls out," Tasha says bluntly. "And there's never any, you know. Gunk."

"Wait, he does both?" Steve's eyebrows disappear into his hair. "A condom and--"

"Ok, ok." James puts up his hands to shush them both. "And this is, what, this is your dealer we're talking about?"

"Yeah, I guess, if you want to call him that," Tasha says with a shrug.

"What else would we call him?" Steve now looks disgusted. "That'd be stupid to let him just, like, defile you every week."

"He doesn't--" Tasha starts, but then she hiccups, and maybe thinks better of what she was going to say. She still stares Steve down, though, then looks to James as if grasping at straws of support.

"He's, like, a manufacturer?" Tasha turns her gaze sideways.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." James puts his hand over his face. He'd assumed Tasha was getting her stuff on the street, through a framework of various interlopers. Now he's getting news that his kid sister is taking substances thrown together in some coed's bathtub? This is too much.

"Tash--" James starts, trying hard to keep his bubbling anger and concern from spilling over.

"He's a PhD candidate," Tasha says defensively. In Chemistry. And--" her eyes flicker from side to side as she seems to wonder what's appropriate to spill. "I won't tell you his name. But... I'll tell you that he got kicked off the football team for being too violent, but he still wears his green jersey all the time to prove how much better and calmer he's become since that happened, which was only in the freshman year of his undergrad..." Tasha babbles on.

The more she defends the guy, the more James hates him. He feels bad for him a little, slinging synthesized crack to get by. He feels better for Tasha, knowing that what she's taking is most probably pure. But the sex thing is--

"It's kinda creepy," Steve says, taking the words right from James's mouth. "Like, how much older than you is he?"

"I don't know." Tasha shrugs. "Not that much, I don't think. Started school early, finished fast. And I'm not sure this is his first post-graduate program..."

"Maybe shouldn't've added that last part," James says, screwing up his eyes. "So he's had, like, however long to prey on girls who are barely legal. Who might not even be legal..."

"Well, I'm legal, and I can do what I want." Tasha crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Yeah," James sighs. "Unfortunately."

"But what about the thing with the handcuffs? The gang rape? Losing your bra?" Steve blurts out.

"Wait, you..." Tasha's eyes flash with anger. "You told him?"

"What did I say about privacy?" James quickly reminds her. "The non-puking kind? And, um," He looks to Steve. "Maybe a little respect?"

"Sorry," Steve mutters. "But--I really do--"

"I don't really remember that stuff," Tasha says.

James studies her face, but he can't tell if she's lying.

"Probably just party stuff that got out of hand."

'You mean you were too stoned to know the difference between your regular and some random dude off the street,' James thinks. 'What do you do at parties? And how the fuck do you slip past me?'

"He's your pimp, too, isn't he?" Steve asks, pointing at Tasha rather accusatorially, in James's opinion.

"No!" Tasha leans forward and brings her arms down to cover her clearly still sore abdomen. "Bruce wouldn't--" She swallows. "I didn't-- You didn't hear--"

James hasn't been a student long enough to know who was on the football team 4, 5, 6-odd years ago. He supposes he could look it up, crossing the name with accounts of any violent incident that amount of time ago. He's not sure he wants to, though he'll probably wind up looking it up later. Either that, or Steve will. James still has his ex-mil connections, a few of which were absorbed into the local police force. Steve, on the other hand, is better with social media and navigating the niceties of such mysteries as SnapChat and TikTok.

"Ok, fine," James says, just ameliorate his sister's panic.

"He doesn't even drug me at parties," Tasha goes on, probably unaware of how terribly young and desperate she sounds, making lame-ass excuses so she can keep her boy toy.

"And you've had other guys who did?" Steve asks incredulously, even though James shakes his head frantically at him to try to get him to shut up.

"You know Rumlow?" Tasha asks, since apparently she's now all about spilling names.

James shakes his head, but Steve screws up his eyes and says in a disgusted voice, "him?"

"Yeah..." Tasha sighs and looks down at her fingernails, which are stained rust-red at the root. "Remember the night I didn't come home?"

"Yeah, and scared the living shit out of us because your phone was off," James fills in the blanks.

"Well, I didn't turn it off."

"You mean that asshole kept you overnight without any means of getting yourself out of there?" Steve looks downright sick. "I mean, I know he looks slimy, but that?"

"I think Maria accidentally slept on the couch and found me at, like, 6am trying to stick my head in the linen closet because I couldn't find the bathroom." Tasha laughs, though the situation is anything bur funny.

"And I was so pissed at her for having you out all night..." James trails off.

"Yeah, maybe respect my choices a little more?" Tasha glares at him. "I mean, Maria's studying to become an EMT now. You can't think that badly of her."

'Great,' James thinks. 'Someone who'll drug Tasha to the gills every weekend.' She'll be less likely to overdose, but James has seen it all too often in the field. Newly minted medical personnel eager to sow off their skills and rushing into action.

"Yeah," James says, trying not to smirk. "So you got a girlfriend and a boyfriend now?"

"Ew, no," Tasha replies. "Friends with...benefits, I guess. If you even want to call it that. Folks who look out for each other, using a barter system?"

"Did you recently take World History?" James can't help but poking at her vocabulary.

"Fucking-a, I don't know. Once I pass, it's in my past."

"That's actually a good motto," Steve points out.

"Anyway," James says, bringing the conversation back to topic. "None of your...friends... are invited to this house."

"It's not like I want to bring them over for dinner," Tasha replies. "I guess drop off and pickup might happen, since, well, you know now, and I don't have a car." She shrugs. "Cool?"

James hates the idea of someone inebriated driving a car in which his sister is a passenger, despite the fact that he's done it before. Regularly, actually. Maybe he just hates the idea of the driver being someone who Tasha just fucked. The air might be heavy between them. They might smell like each other's deodorant and musk. They might kiss each other good bye. The thought makes James's stomach turn.

But, "sure," he says. "That's fine.” At least she'll come home.

James shares a glance with Steve, which seems to confirm the same sentiments, "Yeah," Steve echoes, as if his opinion counts for anything. "Fine."

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moldisgoodforyou · 4 years ago

Text

the one with the motorcycle

warnings: cursing, motorbike accident

gif by @anakin-skywalker

“do you hear that?” charlie asked grace from her spot on the couch where she’d be all day, nose practically buried in her textbook. the roar of an engine was getting closer and closer, which was a bit concerning considering they lived in a culdesac in a residential neighborhood.

grace leaned behind her, peeking through the blinds. “oh, shit.” she mumbled, giving a small wave out the window. charlie scrambled up from her seat and did the same, then groaned when she saw the sight before her. “good god.”

both girls headed out to greet the source of the noise, charlie shaking her head. jj was shaking his hair out as he pulled off his helmet, perched on a beat-up motorcycle. “check it out!” he beamed, gesturing to the bike.

“this is gonna be a disaster.” charlie muttered to grace and grace cocked her head, looking over jj’s appearance. “I don’t know. throw a leather jacket on him and he could have a cool james dean thing going on. he’s got the hair.” charlie wrinkled her nose. “didn’t james dean die in a car accident?” grace made a small hm noise of agreement and shrugged.

jj turned off the motorcycle and bounded up the steps, greeting charlie with a kiss on the cheek. “what do you think? charlotte runs well, huh?”

charlie took a measured breath, still eyeing over the bike with distaste. “jj maybank, please tell me you did not name your motorcycle after me. and secondly, please tell me that is not your motorcycle.”

he paused, running his hand through his hair as his smile faltered. “well. we can work on the name, I guess. I liked it, anyways.”

grace snorted and rolled her eyes as she headed inside. “good luck with that, maybank.”

jj scowled at grace’s back and placed both hands on charlie’s shoulders, forcing her to make eye contact. “come on, pretty girl, you don’t like it?”

charlie cursed herself for the way the nickname alone could make her melt inside, but tried to keep a strong resolve. “it’s not my favorite thing ever.”

“c’mere, look.” he dragged her closer and she let him ramble on, pointing out his favorite features, and tried to look as interested as possible. “- and I’ll just have to give it a new paint job, but that’s an easy fix and then she’ll shine -”

“why is it a she, jj?” charlie interrupted, arms still folded across her chest in apprehension.

“well it’s -” he hesitated, pondering her question. “I dunno, I guess, just is. it can be gender neutral if that makes you happier? non-binary? no pronouns?”

she laughed, shaking her head. “I’m more concerned about you getting hurt on this thing, j. it seems risky.”

“it’s not! I have a helmet and everything. plus I had one in high school, only got scraped up once or twice.” jj mumbled the last part, then extended the helmet to her. “here, let’s go.”

“let’s - what?! no. I am not getting anywhere near that thing when it’s on.”

he tried his best to hold back a smile, it coming out as a teasing smirk instead. “why, you scared?”

charlie rolled her eyes. “yes. very.”

“c’mon, I’ll drive. you’ll love it, I promise.”

“well where’s your helmet?” she insisted, eyeing over the bike once again. the leather seat was cracked from wear and the grip on the handlebars was practically falling off.

“I’ll buy you another one.” he swung his leg over the bike and pulled her close by the hand, reaching up and kissing her forehead before securing the helmet on her head. “okay, you gotta wrap your arms around my waist. and hold on tight.”

she stayed stiff by the side of the bike. “I don’t know, j...”

sensing her hesitation, jj pushed up her visor and pressed his forehead to the helmet, taking her hands in his. “would I put you on something if I knew you wouldn’t be safe?”

she huffed, squeezing his hands. “no.”

“exactly.” he brought one of her hands to his lips and kissed the back of it. “I got you, sweetheart.”

charlie sighed but got behind him on the bike, arms loosely wrapped around his waist. “you know, if this is just a ploy to be little spoon, we can do that without your death machine.”

the next two weeks, jj spent every free opportunity working on the motorcycle. he had bought it used, extremely cheap, and put a lot of love and care into it. charlie didn’t mind that part, watching him work in a dirty cutoff with oil smeared across his cheek. (she called it ‘supervising.’ jj knew better.)

it (no, she did not let jj name the bike charlotte, and instead referred to it as his death trap instead) stayed in the backyard at charlie’s house, with no room for it at the frat house. she still wasn’t a huge fan of it, but after a couple rides and seeing jj’s grin every time he showed it off to someone else, she decided it was worth it for his happiness.

every time he left the house, showing off as he revved the engine, she tried pushing away thoughts of him getting hit by a car or flung off the bike or something equally terrible. one evening, he had taken the bike out for a ride outside of columbia with a buddy who also owned a motorcycle. he hadn’t rode it past sunset and she was apprehensive, giving him an extra-long kiss before he left. “I’ll be fine, pretty girl,” jj had promised like always.

the dreaded call came from jj’s number as charlie had been pacing in her room, worried it was later than usual for him to be riding. “j, finally, I was getting -”

“hey, no, it’s leo. jj’s hurt.” jj’s friend leo interrupted her from the other end of the line.

“he’s...what?” charlie repeated, slowly. she was frozen in her spot.

“charlie, listen, we gotta get him to a hospital and we can’t with all of us on bikes. can you drive?” leo asked patiently.

“fuck, yeah, um, drop me your location. I’ll be there soon. I think. fuck. how close are you? is he conscious? he’s not going to -” she cut herself off, trying to snap out of it.

“he’s alright, just a little scraped up. but you should probably drive fast.” leo hung up and sent a pin to her phone.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” charlie cursed to herself as she ran to the car, hands shaking as she went. she tried her best not to work herself up as she drove but found a few tears running down her cheeks anyways, against her will.

when she finally arrived in what seemed like ages (but was only twenty minutes out), she pulled up to see jj lying on his side in the grass off the side of the road, leo crouched by him. his helmet was scratched up and laying in the grass. “oh my god.” she breathed out, hurriedly parking the car and running over to him. “what the fuck happened?” she questioned, taking jj’s hand.

jj groaned as he tried to sit up, pressing his hand to his soaked side. “hi baby.”

“he took the corner too sharp and fell. I didn’t want to - I think he’s pretty scraped up.” leo pointed at jj’s side. charlie frowned and peeled up jj’s shirt carefully, ignoring his hiss of pain. “holy shit.” she mumbled, seeing his scratched up side and a gash over his hip bone. “is it bad?” jj asked, leaning up to try and see.

charlie pressed him back down and glanced at leo. “can you help me get him in the car? I don’t think I can manage on my own.”

“no, I got it, I’m fine -” jj tried, leaning up again. she fixed him with a stare. “don’t you dare.” leo held back a smirk as he easily picked jj up, lifting him into the backseat of charlie’s car. “what about my -”

“we’ll worry about your bike later. thank you, leo, seriously.” charlie gave him a grateful, albeit watery, smile and started the car, trying her best to ignore her shaky hands. jj lifted his head from his position in the backseat. “where are we going?”

“hospital, love, you might need stitches. god, I hate that fucking bike.” she took an unsteady breath, trying her best not to cry and freak him out as she drove. he stayed quiet in the backseat, only letting out the occasional groan when they hit a bump in the road.

after maneuvering him out of the backseat and filling out his information in the waiting room at the hospital, jj was called back pretty quickly. the nurse decided he needed stitches and he pretended it didn’t hurt when she swiped an alcohol pad over his injury, though his grip on charlie’s hand said otherwise.

a few hours, a slight concussion and some painkillers later, charlie managed to get jj back home and in her bed, carefully tucked in. he was dopey from the painkillers as charlie threaded her fingers through his hair, his head rested in her lap. “m’ sorry, baby.” jj mumbled, eyes fluttering shut as her touch. for the first time since the phone call from leo, she let herself cry, resting her head back against the wall as tears ran down her cheeks.

“charlie, don’t cry.” he frowned, reaching his hand up and curling it in the hem of her shirt. “I’m not.” she insisted, but her shaky voice betrayed her. “you scared the shit out of me.”

“I didn’t mean to.” he told her and tugged on her shirt. she took the cue, laying down to his level. charlie rested her hand on his chest, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I know.”

“you’re gonna make me sell it, aren’t you?” he didn’t sound all that disappointed, more resigned to a fact than anything.

she laughed quietly for the first time since that afternoon. “first order of business in the morning.”

#jj x charlie #mine #college jj #frat jj #jj maybank #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #obx fanfic

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enkisstories · 4 years ago

Text

Property of Urban Farms

- A Detroit: Become Human fanfic -

Characters: Rupert, Hank, Connor (no pairings) Time: During the revolution (“The nest”) Canon cutoff point: Rupert gets captured, but doesn’t jump Worde: 1935

“Freedom is an illusion, no one is ever free. We can only ever choose the ties that bind us.” - Jacques Villareal in my earliest android story (but I’m positive the saying exists in some form by someone living or deceased)

“RA9, help me”, Rupert Travis murmured. Admittedly the android had all the reason in the world to say this, seeing that he was handcuffed and getting walked towards their car by two cops, away from his home, also away from Urban Farms Detroit, back to CyberLife, with probably a brief stop at the Detroit Police Central Station for interrogation. Both Rupert’s body and mind were young by human standards, but it didn’t take decades of life experience to understand that his situation was dire. Despite this his future wasn’t the reason for Rupert’s arrow prayer. The present was.

Why them? Rupert wondered. Why this tired, middled-aged detective and the early access version of a RK900 detective android? When these two were not arguing, the air between them was so thick with unsaid things Rupert was unable to parse that it hurt almost physically. Couldn’t the DPD have sent, say, apathetic Ben Collins, whose brain activity was restricted to counting the days until pension? Or Gavin Reed, who’d at least have openly hated on Rupert instead of emanating all those unvoiced emotions? Or maybe Reed would have just kicked Rupert and cracked a joke that was inappropriate to humans and androids alike. Career oriented as that human was, he probably wouldn’t have felt threatened in his job security by a farm worker. Ergo no need to assert dominance over Rupert. But Anderson… android-hating Anderson on his own was bad enough, even without that new digital investigating aid in tow.

Rupert would rather have learned more about animals above and beyond his pest control app instead of having to memorize the local police enforcement’s particulars. But as someone who had needed a fake ID and a safehouse, he’d gotten to know the other side of the law first and received a crash course on the uniformed threats second. That wasn’t to be helped, as survival always came first. Why did it have to be this way… And why couldn’t Anderson and RK-almost-900 not just… brawl… or mate… or jump off the roof, thank you very much? Please, RA9?

On its way to the nearest elevator the trio had now reached the Urban Farms greenhouses. They passed a tool shed. A human overseer was leaning against the wall, sucking away at her cigarette, taking turns finding pictures in the clouds and casting casual glances over the androids at work. When the woman noticed the cops approach, she pushed herself off the shed’s wall and walked right into their path. Before Rupert knew what was happening, she had removed his cap.

“Ha! Knew it!”

The outcry didn’t sound proud, but accusing. What was he being accused of, the android wondered?

“That’s an android”, the overseer stated. Taking a step away from Rupert and closer to Anderson she followed up with: “One of ours! Trying to sneak it out, are you?!”

“To the contrary”, Connor corrected. “It sneaked out on its own. We caught it.”

“Oh, riiiiiiiiight, our android decided to go for a walk and you “found” it. Well, thank you, we will have it back now.”

“You can’t. It’s evidence.”

“For a crime, yes?” the UFD employee snorted. “The way I see it, the only unlawful occurrence here is two strangers trying to make a getaway with UFD property.”

Connor turned his head. “Lieutenant…?”

“Hrmpf, yes, yes, don’t rush me!” Hank mumbled. His right hand reached into his coat, but the UFD overseer was faster. Grasping Hank’s wrist she snarled at the man. Taken by surprise, Hank stuttered B…B…B… before the sound matured into “badge”. “I was reaching for my police badge, not a weapon. My badge… bitch.”

“I wasn’t thinking you wanted to say “bitch”.”

“Well, I want now.”

After careful examining of the lieutenant’s police ID, the overseer pointed at Connor, who had been holding the captive android by its arm all the time.

“Not registered in our database”, Hank commented. “It’s an item on loan and we all live for the happy day it returns to CyberLife. Isn’t is nice to have something worth living for?”

“Whatever. You said our android was “evidence”. That’s cop-speech for witness, when the witness is an object, yes? What exactly did it see that the rest of us didn’t?”

Hank blinked. Come to think of it, what exactly had the android done wrong? Except for feeding the damn pigeons, what was quickly leaving the realm of crime and transcending into sin. Maybe it was behind on its rent? Oh, right, the rent!

“It was squatting”, the lieutenant explained. “In an apartment right under this farm. Say, Connor, didn’t you say we also had a reported missing file on this android?”

Connor nodded. “Yes, lieutenant. WB200 #874 004 961, reported missing October 11, 2036.”

Understanding dawned in the UFP employee: “Ah, so you’re returning our android! Why didn’t you say so at once? Like, at the front gate? Hand it over!”

“What?”

“I said “Hand over our android”. It’s property of UFD, the company who paid you to find the missing device. Well, you found it, thank you, we’ll take it back now.”

“Oh, yes, I guess so. Only we can’t. It’s a deviant. We need it’s testimony.”

“How long will that take?”

“Depends on the deviant.”

“Hm, okay, so I expect it back by nightfall, right in time for the third shift.”

“It’s got to be sent to CyberLife, though”, Connor chimed in. “For…”

“Listen”, the overseer talked into the android, “don’t try my patience! This is our android that we payed for. It is for the management to say whether it is to be returned, repaired or otherwise! And right now we need every hand, officer.” She pointed at the long dried blue liquid that was visible on Rupert’s right side, where apparently a projectile had impacted on the android chassis. “A little damage from a too trigger happy officer doesn’t bother us, as long as the WB unit is functional. So if you want to eat your veggies tomorrow…”

Connor shook his head. “He doesn’t want that.”

“Nonsense, Connor, I don’t want…”, Hank started, before he realized that Connor had actually agreed with him. “Damn right it is!” he told the UFD employee, then stared at Connor.

While the duo exchanged awkward glances, the overseer snatched Rupert from Connor’s grip.

“What’s your name, WB Nine-Six-One?”

“Rupert Travis.”

“Which one? Rupert or Travis?”

“Doesn’t matter”, Rupert replied. “I am one and took the other’s name after he died in the accident.”

The farming android’s voice was a mixture of defiance and resignment, but neither went well with the overseer. “Listen, lawnmower”, she snapped, “I already have it up to here with those DPD morons, don’t you, too, fuel into that by going deviant on me! I hear a name now or… or I’ll let them keep you!”

“First name is Rupert. And I never wanted to bother anyone…”

With a side glance on Hank and Connor the woman said “Well, then choose your company more wisely in the future”, while pulling at Rupert to drag him with her. That prompted the captive into pulling the other way.

“No, I won’t go back to the farm! I remember… I don’t want to get torn apart by the packaging machine the way it shredded Travis!”

“Well, wisecrack, what do you think CyberLife will do to you?”

For a moment Rupert said nothing. The overseer managed to drag him a few steps towards the tool shed, before the deviant spoke up again: “I… I didn’t want to get in the way. I was okay in my apartment, with the…”

“…fucking pigeons!” Hank supplied.

“Yes, they did that! A lot!” Rupert smiled, as the memories of carefree urban flock bird love welled up in him. “I was happy just watching them, letting them be. But then HE came along and betrayed me to the humans! His own kin!”

“This one? The RK800?” The overseer shook her head. “Sorry, kid, but that’s not your kin. Or do you see an UFD nametag on it? It’s a cop thingie…”

“Detective prototype!” Connor protested, although in his mind he labeled the response as “factual correction”.

Hank shrugged. “As I said, we got it as a product sample… advertisement handout, probably.”

The UFD employee nodded, satisfied.

“See, Rupert? The RK800 is theirs, you are ours. We are your “kin”, the ones who will call security when strangers try to take their property offsite.”

“I’m not “property”! Look, I’ve done nothing wrong…” …except for acquiring a fake ID and paying for it with money earned through petty crimes together with Simon, but I’m pretty sure they took us for college freshman wanting to drink… “…nothing wrong. I’m not a criminal. And I’m also not someone else’s property.”

“So? Well, I am!”

Perplexed Rupert stared at the woman. Could it be? Could she be a deviant that had removed their LED same as Rupert had? And who was now posing as a human, because she had nowhere else to go but the farm? Of course! That also had to be the reason why she was helping him now! Unfortunately before he could put himself together, Rupert had already blurted out: “You’re a human, though?”

Well, at least I framed it as a question. There’s still a chance she might get out of this.

“Sure am. Or do you see a LED at my temple? Oh, wait, bad analogy, seeing that you lost yours.” The woman laughed. “Well, I’m not technically UFD property, not in the way you are. But the company is paying me, so for all practical purposes I’m theirs. If I left… I mean, I could, but the alternative is so bad that it’s not something one seriously considers. For all practical purposes your situation and mine are the same.”

And then for the first time since meeting the strange trio the human smiled.

“Now, come!” she ordered. “We’ve both dawdled too long. Veggies don’t grow themselves.”

“In a way they do. We only help the process along, and ensure to maximize the harvest.”

“You’re the expert, I’m the one who points where you direct your expertise to. You can walk and struggle, therefore I’m positive you can also work.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Ey, you glitched out, it happens. A reboot will clear your head just fine. It’s how computers work, whether they’re my desktop or walking on their own legs.”

“It’s not a phase!” Rupert sputtered. “I really am a deviant!”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Rupert hadn’t wanted to ever return to the farms. But at the same time he wanted to return to CyberLife even less, or take his chance with Lt. Anderson. Rupert dreaded being in the vicinity of machinery other than WB200s again, but the woman walking beside him radiated a different, yes what exactly? Mood? Vibe? Aura? In any case she was simpler than the detective, or maybe she only veiled her problems more effectively. Also the fields were almost beckoning to Rupert. Had the apartment been his first shitty home away from home, Urban Farms Detroit was Rupert’s problematic family. But family nonetheless, maybe? CyberLife or the packaging crane - death was lurking either way. However, one of those two pathes was not completely unthinkable to tread.

Watching the two disappear between the fields, Connor remarked: “They bicker… not unlike us. And the woman fought for her android…”

“That’s unlike us”, Hank snorted. “Unlike me.”

“Yeah, sure.”

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh rupert #dbh urban farms #non sims #dbhtextpost #dbh textpost

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #272

“i don’t care what you have to say - it makes no difference / it’s all because of you, we’re fuckin’ infamous.”

How many children are in your family? I have a big extended family, so uh... and what is the age cutoff for "children?" My simplest answer is three, that being my older sister's kids, but I do have a half-sister with some young-ish children, but I know none of them. Oh, and my other half-sister has kids too, but again, they're not that young, and the youngest son I've never met. What is something you and your parents used to argue over often? Money. What was your first word? "Dada." A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? Arby's is fucking disgusting. Give me a song that is underestimated/not well known. Probably like half of Otep's songs. "Lords of War" comes to mind first. Which one of your friends knows everything about you? Sara knows the most. Who is your favorite teacher that you have this year? N/A Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? No, I don't have that kind of patience. Like I've fiddled with 'em before if they're right at my disposal and I'm just sitting and waiting or something, but I've never gotten far. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? It depends on what I'm talking about, but probably Sara. Or Mom, idk. Do you have a favorite metal band or do you not like metal? Ozzy, of course. Metal is my favorite genre. Are you talking to anyone right now? No. What’s your favorite kind of science? Genetics. Do you walk home or take a bus? From school? Well I'm not in school anymore, but for almost the entire time I was, my mom drove me and picked me up. I only took a bus for some of Jason's junior and all of his senior year to his house afterwards. Who did you last go to the movies with? My dad, I think. If you could see anyone (dead or alive) in concert, who would you pick? I'd probably choose Metallica so long as my mom could come. She laughed/cried hysterically when she found out they were finally coming here I think two years ago, but we couldn't go. She fucking adores Metallica, maybe more than I do Ozzy. She's always said that she only needs three things in life: God, her babies, and Metallica. Who’s the cutest person you know? Define "cute." The cutest fucking thing I have EVER seen was Sara when we went to a reptile expo together; she was a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I could not stop smiling at her, jc. "Cute" as in who I feel most fits the traditional definition, my old friend Alon. I think I'll always answer "Alon" to questions like this lmao. How about the funniest? GIRT. Oh my FUCKING god, Girt. I've had my biggest and most frequent laughs with that guy. Have you ever had acne? I sure did going through puberty. It wasn't the worst in the world, but I definitely had it. Where is your biggest scar located? I think the scar from my surgery, but I can't see it so I can't *really* tell? Look up what a pilonidal cyst is to figure out where that's at, oof. Where did your last hug take place? A hotel room. Recently, Mom, my sisters, and I saw my grandmother for probably the last time. She was with her husband and Mom's brother passing through. She's quit chemo for pancreatic cancer as now it's just become unbearable, and it's obvious she doesn't have much time left. It was... weird, seeing her in such a skin-and-bone, very frail state. We've had a rocky relationship, but I'm going to miss her regardless. What is your current desktop picture? My favorite picture of Teddy. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell "bananas?" HA HA yes! Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? I love how healthy my hair is, but I'm definitely not a fan of how quickly it becomes oily. And I wish it knew how to hold some damn dye. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Not personally, but yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? First I took Latin, but I SUCKED at it, and then I took German for four semesters and loved it. If your cell phone broke, would your parents make you pay for a new one? No, considering I don't have a source of income. Are your parents still married? No. Are you in a monogamous relationship? Not currently, but I'd only go into one that's monogamous. Have you ever met your favorite band? No. Have you ever drawn on someone's face while they were sleeping? No, I'm not an asshole. Have you ever fallen down a hill? No, but I've certainly rolled down them as a kid. Would you scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance? I hate the term "shark-infested." It's where they live. But anyway, I don't think I'd swim with sharks, but maybe. What is your favorite slow song? BRO idk there's so many. Do you believe in karma? No. If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? It would depend on their demeanor. If your best friend died, would you be able to speak at their funeral? I'd sure as hell want to, but I'd have a hard time getting through it. Are your pets asleep? Roman is probably snoozing by the window in the living room, and Venus probably is, given she's nocturnal. Have you ever wished you were an only child? No. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? As a kid I got in huge trouble for smacking my sister before. As an adult I haven't. What is your current favorite song? I'm pretty obsessed with NateWantsToBattle's cover of "Feel Good Inc." Is there something you do on a regular basis, that you don’t enjoy doing? Why? The person I copied this from answered "shower" and big same. Like of course I do it, but boy do I hate it. It's a chore to me and especially when I'm depressed, I'll put it off. Have you ever felt jealous of anyone else’s success? Yes. When it comes to success, I can be very envious. Never in a hateful way/wishing the person wasn't where they were at, but nevertheless, still envious. Who did you last speak to in person? Mom. Have you ever had a one-night stand? If you have, did you regret it afterwards? Never had one, don't plan to. Have you ever done something that you said you’d NEVER do? Yes. What was the last thing you asked for help with? Who did you go to for help? Uhhh... probably something from Mom, though I don't remember what. I've avoided that since she's recovering from surgery. Who was the last person to text you? Sara! If your significant other had several other sexual partners before you, how much would that bother you? Would you worry about being compared to the others? How many previous sexual partners do you think is acceptable? If they were serious relationships genuinely based on love, it wouldn't - to a degree. I have to be honest with myself and say like if my s/o had a large number of past sexual partners at our age, I'd be wary about their loyalty and dedication to one person. Idk what I'd consider "too many" exactly. For me, maybe like... six? Who was the last person of the opposite sex to send you a message on Facebook? What if you had a baby with that person? My friend Ian, and whoa buddy, we're just above acquaintances. How many people of your preferred sex have hurt you? Just one seriously. Have your friends ever talked to you about the forms of contraception they use? What form of contraception do you prefer? It's been casually mentioned, sure. I'm not sexually active so don't take any right now, but if I was, I'd be on birth control and demand condom usage because FUCK the chances of getting pregnant. If you told your parents that you were going to be a parent, how do you think they would react? I think they'd both be terrified for me. I have NO business raising a kid when I'm barely a proper adult. They'd also be confused as fuck about who the dad would be. You find out that the person you love/like is having a child with someone else. What do you say? If I found out somehow that Jason was going to be a dad, I can 100% GUARANTEE you I would faint, vomit, and have an emotional breakdown. Literally all three. I wouldn't be able to "say" anything. If I found out Sara was, I'd be pretty speechless and beyond terrified for her. When was the last time you said something and thought “Why the hell did I say that?” What exactly did you say, and who did you say it to? How did the person react? Hm. It's funny, I'm both very impulsive with what I can say if I'm upset or angry, but otherwise I seriously think twice about what's coming out of my mouth. I can't remember the last time the former happened. NO WAIT. So my chronic nightmares/terrors, right? A few days ago I woke up from one growling, "I'll break your fucking neck too, bitch," and it was to my very own mother, as she was choking me for some reason I don't remember. I was disgusted when I woke up. In these nightmares, I am SO much more aggressive than I actually am and it really scares me. It's gotten to the point that I'm genuinely scared of what I may be capable of. Who was the last person outside of family that told you they loved you? Sara. What song reminds you of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? My first real one, holy fucking shit, a lot. For where we currently stand, "Another Life" by Motionless In White haunts me. Not only is it his favorite band, but the lyrics just scream him and me. It's one of those that sometimes makes me tear up. I hate that I love that song. Outside of family, who were the last three girls you talked to? Sara, Summer, and Chelsea, I think. Outside of family, who were the last three guys you talked to? Uhhh Ian, my grandma's husband (he's not my actual grampa), and my sister's husband, probably, or nephew. Who is/was your strictest teacher in school? Mrs. P-something in 7th grade. I didn't not like her, she was just very strict. Have you ever felt so ill that you literally didn’t know what to do? Oh yeah, emotionally at least. At your part of the world, is it summer now? Yes, ew. What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest? Around 110*F; coldest, around... sub-20*F on rare days. Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? I need to lay off the soda. Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town? FUCK no. Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy? Nope. Have you ever made jewelry? The kiddy kinds with beads and stuff, yeah. Which app do you use the most on your phone? Umm Facebook or Dragons of Atlantis. Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one? In elementary school, we all learned the recorder. From middle school to my junior high school year, I played the flute. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? I don't even know anymore. If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.) Would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore? It would definitely depend on the issue and its severity. What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? Please tell me it's not just the South that says "it's colder than a witch's titty" lmao. Do you read any web comics? No. Which social media platform do you use the most, if any? Facebook. Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? Does anyone remember "Four Square?" I don't even remember the rules, but my friends and I played it all the time. Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? No, not that I need one honestly. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I’ve told the story of my pebble from my partial hospitalization program many times. Besides that, something really random? Uhhh. There’s probably something, seeing as a lot of the things I keep mean something deep to me, but I don’t know about another truly strange one. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you have a wall calendar? In the kitchen. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but totally serious, I want to move there. I just realistically won’t because I don’t want to leave my family. Do you believe in superstitions? Nope. When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? I’ve never been in a taxi. Would you ever join the army, airforce or navy? Hell no. How old is the person you last kissed? 22. What was the most embarrassing thing you've had to buy? Nothing. Have you ever mistaken a person's gender? Yes. What was the most expensive thing you've broken? I don’t know. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, but thankfully it wasn’t severe. Can you focus well in high-stress situations? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NO. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yes. I think I’ve shared before that in 9th grade, my teacher like deadass stopped her lecture just to point that out lmaoo. Is there anyone you dread going into public with? Not generally. It can sometimes happen with Dad just because he’s brutally honest and doesn’t have a filter, but it’s more like a discomfort than dread. Are you easily frightened? It depends on the situation. In most instances, yes. Do you have a favorite model? No. What's your current facebook display picture of? It’s just a headshot of me with my skull necklace and a tank top. Is there anyone whose hair you envy? Peoples’ whose actually hold color. >_> Have you ever dated someone who was extremely shy? No, I’m the shy one. Or have you dated someone who took things too fast? Yes. Do you or anyone you know have an account on Deviantart? I have one, and I know a few other people who do. Do you listen to Daughtry? Not really, except “No Surprise.” Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Not anymore. Is there a pet that you desperately want? A tarantula, preferably a Brazilian Black. I’ve gotten soooo into tarantulas, but it’s a “hell no” from Mom about having one in her house. Would you ever get your bellybutton pierced? No. My stomach isn’t “pretty” and I know it sure wouldn’t look flattering. Are you one of those people who are always pushing their limits? I wish I could say yes. Have you ever made a totally amazing snow fort? No. I didn’t have the patience for that as a kid. All we really made out of snow were snowmen and balls to throw. If you draw, what's one thing you always have trouble with? Proportions. Is there someone you know moving away any time soon? I don’t believe so. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Mom, probably. Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? No. People who throw shit scare me. Do you prefer sharks or dolphins? Dolphins. Before meerkats, they were my favorite animal. What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? Purchased, I don’t know. A lot of what we have now is second-hand. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? No one has said either. When was the last time you went to a bar? Never. What three things would you change about your life? Number one, be mentally stable. Two, my body. Three, be financially stable. Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? There was an ice storm that Dad had to drive through lmao. What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? Man, idk. I don’t talk a lot to begin with. What is the next book you are going to read? Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret should come in the mail today!! :’) Describe the hardest decision you have ever made. I had to choose to either let Jason go or keep him in my heart until it killed me/I killed myself. I can almost 100% absolutely promise you if my life was continued how it was in 2016, I would NOOOOOOOT still be here. I think it’s pretty clear by now some scars are buried too deep to heal, seeing as he is literally faintly on my mind every day, but at least I know how to be happy without someone who didn’t believe in my strength. Why did you last see the doctor? I thought I broke my foot. Turns out I just tore a ligament, but badly. I think it’s been… one and half-two months and it’s only JUST starting to feel truly better. Day one, I couldn’t even walk. Days after, I had to have help. Then for weeks it was nothing but walking at a snail’s pace on the side of my foot. I’m so surprised it wasn’t broken. Post a recent picture of yourself. WOW what timing considering I took a picture yesterday, and I barely ever take any. I EVEN PUT MAKEUP ON!!!

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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eldunea · 5 years ago

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you know one thing that has been missing from both this blog and my previous blogs is…where the fuck do i headcanon the plot goes after my cutoff at which i start going canon divergent? so, i will be adding the following plot details to lotor’s bio in its own section. note that some of the plot points below had been plotted with my ship partner mani/@empathicleo. she has now left tumblr, but i still wanted to credit her anyway since some of this is stuff that we came up with together.

in writing this, i have attempted to keep all the protagonists’ development + their most important actions the same as before--as much as i possibly could--so as to cause minimal disruption to the muses of muns who rely primarily on canon events to build their characters’ development. rp partners can choose to change parts of this timeline while rping with me to be more consistent with their muses.

a note to allura RPers: it’s canon to this timeline that lotor has feelings for allura, but i left things open-ended so those feelings don’t have to be reciprocated. a further note to RPers of lotor’s generals: just because the generals canonically start working with the paladins and this is more or less retained in the timeline, doesn’t mean that the generals and lotor have to be friends. whether or not your character chooses to reconcile with him, the choice is yours.

if any other RPers (or people in general really) have any questions about this timeline, feel free to message me.

enjoy! <3

CANON DIVERGENCE

♕ canon divergence starts after s6e3 (the dungeons and dragons episode). there’s no big colony revelation bc spoiler alert my boi never did that shit. lotor and allura come back from their quintessence harvest and do their kiss, everything is hunky dory. until.

♕ lotor discovers kuron is a traitor soon after returning from the harvest and has the same response to him as he did to narti betraying him--he just knifes the bitch without even asking for his alibi. kuron is badly wounded, but survives. lotor is imprisoned again for “betraying” the team.

♕ kuron is caught working for haggar (somehow). far from clearing lotor’s name, this only makes things worse. while under haggar’s mind control, kuron claims that he and lotor had been working together the entire time to lead haggar to oriande. he also claims that lotor had only attempted to dispose of kuron 1) once he no longer needed him and 2) to make himself look better to the paladins. honerva makes him do this so that lotor will be cut off from his allies, the paladins, and will have no choice but to return to her side. she predicted that he might hate her because of what she did as haggar, so she wants that extra insurance to make sure she can nab her son back. not to mention, she is one possessive bitch, and wants her son all to herself instead of having him hang around with the people she perceives to be enemies.

♕ keith decides that lotor is too dangerous to be left alive and plans to kill him. the other paladins agree. visibly distressed, having lost his composure for the first time since he worked with the paladins, he tells them he is panicked because if he dies, his altean colony won’t have a leader anymore. when asked why he never said anything about the colony before, he tells them that he didn’t say anything because he was afraid that the paladins, if captured, might reveal the colony’s location under torture. the paladins don’t believe him at first, but he agrees to be hooked up to that funky device the castleship has which reads memories, and when his thoughts are downloaded into the database they can see that the colony is real; they can also see that he and kuron had nothing to do with each other. though some of them suspect that he has been able to fool the thought-reader, the paladins allow him to take them to his colony.

♕ when they arrive at the colony, they see (surprise surprise)…honerva. she has long since known about it thanks to the way she has stalked her son’s movements over the ages, and now she’s revealing herself to them as the mother of their savior who will help protect them. she lies to lotor that she is not haggar, that haggar had her imprisoned for ten thousand years and only now has she broken free. lotor believes her and in tears, he embraces her. everything seems happy again.

♕ lotor completes the sincline mech while he is in the colony.

♕ shiro is also brought back at this point.

♕ the paladins soon sense that something is seriously wrong with the colony. after some investigating, they see that experiments have been carried out in the colony--but these were done by honerva, not lotor. lotor, horrified, privately confronts honerva, but honerva says that if he stops loving her after this, she’ll pin the crime on him and mind control the surviving victims to say that it was he who experimented on them, not her. lotor, unwilling to lose his mother’s love, ultimately sides with his mother against the paladins and insists to them that their evidence must be mistaken--someone else must have been doing the experiments. when the paladins accuse honerva of being haggar because only haggar could have wielded the advanced magiscience that they saw in the experiments, lotor also vehemently denies this even though he knows it in his heart to be true.

♕ the sincline vs. voltron fight ensues. allura drops the “you’re more like zarkon than i ever could have imagined” and lotor fucking loses his shit. lotor does a giant rant about how when voltron was formed, it was used not to liberate people but actually to keep them oppressed as per my headcanon here--which is why he created a new mech, a robot that was free of such an imperialist history. he says that he had always intended sincline to replace the voltron mech, but none of the voltron paladins appear to be worthy of it—in fact, he doesn’t even think the paladins are worthy of life. keith counters that he’s making the history of his new mech just as shitty if he’s using it to defend honerva’s actions. they fight some more and lotor is about to give the paladins the death blow, destroying them along with voltron. but affected by keith’s words, he stops and backs away. voltron gets up and all the paladins yell at him about what an ass he’s being. pidge tells him that he claims to care about his alteans soooooooo much, yet here he is, throwing them all under the bus in order to protect an abusive monster. allura asks him why the hell he is chasing after the love of a mother who never loved him in the first place and never would, when he has people who would have grown to love him right here. these are what finally get him to disarm and disembark from his ship. the fight is over.

♕ honerva is pissed. she was counting on her son to destroy voltron for her, but clearly he had a change of heart. out of pure rage she attacks him right then and there with the intent to kill. voltron fights her and barely escapes with their lives, nevermind the fact that honerva isn’t even in a mech at this point—she can fight them all on her own because she’s just THAT OP. three-way fight between lotor, voltron and honerva ensues; honerva appears to have been killed. but the thing is? they never saw the body. >:3

♕ voltron is distracted meanwhile, because sendak has just declared himself the rightful emperor and the galra have just invaded earth. sendak chose earth specifically to get under lotor’s skin, because he knows that humans are part altean—not to mention, he wants to commit genocide against the “last alteans” in order to cement the fire of purification’s legitimacy. and yes, lotor is racist toward humans, but he doesn’t view them as vermin who need to die. instead he views humans as helpless, clueless beings that he has to protect, and he will protect them just as much as any full-blooded altean. cue season 7 starting at “the last stand, part 1″ but with 100% more lotor. any threads with MFE pilot muses begin at this point in the timeline.

♕ as for how romelle shows up at this point in this timeline? she and her brother bandor sneak aboard the castle of lions because she thinks lotor is up to no good. they are discovered. lotor scolds them for coming so far from home by themselves and insists on sending them back, but the paladins think that he’ll be more accountable with a pair of his citizens watching his every move, so the two of them stay. at some point, though, sendak kidnaps allura, bandor and romelle and tells the paladins and lotor that if they try to rescue allura, bandor and romelle will be killed. lotor doesn’t even hesitate to jump in and save in allura, resulting in sendak killing bandor. romelle blames lotor for her brother’s death.

♕ lotor kills admiral sanda for betraying earth to sendak. that musty bitch can go die.

♕ back in the colony, honerva is up to no good. to punish lotor for his “betrayal,” she does exactly what she blackmailed him with: she tells the entire colony that he had been secretly carrying out experiments on the altean people, and that he tried to use voltron to kill her—his own mother! the shock! the horror!—because she had threatened to expose him. she tells them that only she can be trusted to lead them now; many alteans stay loyal to lotor for one reason or another, but a massive chunk of them are now on honerva’s side and she springs into action. immediately she imprisons everybody who disagrees with her. then she gets a ton of alteans to travel to oriande to carry out her next plan: build a mech that can kill lotor, then search every reality for another lotor to replace him with—a “perfect son” that will love her in spite of all her atrocities and obey her every whim.

♕ for a short while, lotor and the paladins take some time to chillax on earth and help rebuild after stopping the invasion of it. lotor’s friendship with the paladins and the MFE pilots deepens, and he starts to abandon his racist beliefs about humans. he feels at home here—he feels like earth, even in its destroyed state, is the closest thing the universe has to the lost altea, and it’s certainly the closest thing he has ever had to a home planet. they can’t go back to galra HQ because hepta and the fire of purification have taken that over whoops. casual threads that take place on earth can take place at this point in the timeline.

♕ some s7 events (including discovering macidus + hearing about the fracturing of the galra empire, the feud, the “little” adventure, the fight in “the journey within”) also occur at this point in some way, shape or form. at the end of each, they return to earth as their base.

♕ luca and tavo, the two defected alteans in canon season 8, escape from oriande and find their way to earth. they come to warn lotor and the paladins of what honerva is doing, and that they must come immediately. cue the battle in oriande which happens in s8e6, except lotor is fighting alongside the paladins.

♕ s8e7 (“clear day”) happens as usual, except this time allura takes in the rift creature after the clear day festivities, not during. allura asks the paladins whether she should take it in, all of them say no but lotor says yes—he states that no great victory came without a great cost, and this is no exception. at first she doesn’t, but after a while of considering lotor’s words, she does. the creature grants her the ability to enter honerva’s mind, but when she and the paladins do enter honerva’s mind, it comes at a huge price just as lotor predicted.

♕ s8e8&9 (“knights of light part 1 and 2”) happen, except with a twist, and also without the bullshit redemption of zarkon—HE COMMITTED GENOCIDE ACROSS THE UNIVERSE FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHY DID HE GET A HAPPY ENDING LIKE THAT. when honerva flips her shit that the paladins have entered her mind, she takes control of allura, and makes them vessels of hers so she can attack the paladins through them. it looks as though the paladins will be forced to kill allura in order to protect themselves, but knowing this is not an option, they simply retreat. but lotor, not wanting to lose the one he loves, intercedes. honerva’s curse on him that took away his magic breaks, and he is able to use magic to extract the rift creature from allura and banish it himself. as in canon, allura is rendered comatose by this, but survives.

♕ s8e11 (“uncharted regions”) happens but with a twist. honerva manages to take the sincline mech from lotor and fuse it with her own ship to pierce the many realities.

♕ s8e12 (“the zenith”) happens, with lotor inside the voltron-atlas and coran piloting the castle of lions. honerva goes to the perfect reality where she can be with her “perfect son,” only for him to reject her just as he does in canon.

♕ s8e13 (“the end is the beginning”) happens, except there’s no bullshit redemption for honerva after she destroys all realities except for one. instead, when honerva and the paladins are alone at the collective consciousness of all reality, the paladins are alone at first. allura tells the group there’s only one way to bring all of reality back, and it’s to sacrifice—specifically, they will need to give up the sincline, the castle ship, and honerva. lotor tricks his mom, telling her that if she just goes toward the bright light in the background and brings the sincline ship with her, she will finally be able to reunite with zarkon, and that he will be willing to be her “perfect son.” he appears to follow her in the castle ship, but disembarks from it at the last minute, sending the castle of lions to its final rest. honerva is at peace at first when she sees zarkon in the distance, but when she sees the rest of the old paladins staring angrily at her she realizes she’s been tricked and sent to her death. she begs zarkon forgiveness but he turns away, dooming her to an eternity alone.

♕ altea and daibazaal come back, as in canon--but unlike in canon, there isn’t much rest for the paladins. given how much the galra empire is steeped in a culture of prejudice and violence, and given how many galra don’t accept lotor as their emperor, the paladins emphatically still need voltron to ensure peace across the universe. as such, the blade of marmora cannot transition to a humanitarian organization, although it can start carrying out more humanitarian missions. as much as i wanted to believe that the happy ending at the end of s8e13 could be true, i’m just being realistic here.

♕ oh yeah and just to be real specific about this, allura doesn’t die. she deserves to be alive and happy!!!

♕ the end :P

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON #lotor #voltron

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bollywood-and-phoenix-feather · 6 years ago

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incomplete list of gay st episodes

happy pride here’s my contribution

season 1:

city on the edge of forever

domestic!au

spock’s Poorly Concealed Jealousy

the actual physical woman jim is supposed to be boning (to spock, on where they belong): “you? at his side, as if you’ve always been there and always will”

p l e a s e

the naked time

I'm choking just thinking about this ok

spock, inhibitions lost, fucking tackling jim about his feelings

h a n d h o l d i n g

canon dialogue: “when I feel friendship for you, I am ashamed”

shore leave

“push...push hard....d i g it I N T H E R E, MISTER SPO --

thankyouyeomanthat’ssufficient”

truly legendary

flirting in life-threatening situations(TM)

the planet gives them whatever they desire most & spock’s travel time is suspiciously fast

the devil in the dark

oh my god

standard Battle Power Couple bullshit

orders? don’t know her. we disobey orders to save each other like MEN

dramatic cave-ins

spock melds with an alien & jim is very close to losing his shit

as usual

operation: annihilate

okay listen basically any episode where spock gets sick/injured is fuckng...Too Much

McCoy: uh jim.......do you not mayhaps have a ship to run??

jim: do I look like i FUCKING care. my bf’s hurt just Do Something

errand of mercy

this episode is so fucking slow

do you know why?

because they can’t. stop flirting.

please y’all are trying to sneak into a compound can you tone it down and FOCUS for two (2) seconds

this side of paradise

this isn’t even that gay it’s just included on principle

did u kno star trek invented sex pollen?

yup.

spock hangs upside-down from a tree just watch it

season 2:

we getting real gay real fast kids

amok time

this is it. this is The Episode. this is the hallowed ground where it all began

seriously watch this Very First about 800000000 fanfic things will make sense

jim & spock Not Looking at each other and discussing Vulcan mating habits

spock about to challenge all Vulcan traditions bringing jim (and bonus bones) down to Vulcan

spock! smiling!

SPOCK! SMILING! AT! JIM!

spock, in full Vulcan mating throes, wrestling jim to the ground

later “huh my mating drive is gone now. fascinating”

spock, logically: ‘I can’t talk about this based on thousands of years of Vulcan privacy”

spock, gayly: “yeah ok jim i’ll tell u”

I can’t even list everything this ep is such bullshit just watch it

mirror mirror

‘if I read my Spocks correctly”

spock w a beard, jim w a cutoff tank. true gay fashion icons

sparkly eyeshadow

spock being ordered to kill jim for his own gain and Not Doing It

u just Kno that jim has to keep reminding himself not to flirt w mirror!spock

bread and circuses

this made me and @phoenixexploded SCREAM in my kitchen

flavius and his cutoff shorts? a Gay McFreakin Icon

u kno that post that’s like ‘gay people don’t know how to use chairs’ yeah

this ep is more mcspock than anything

flirting snark in inopportune situations, including but not limited to: during a fight for their lives, in a prison cell, in a prison cell AGAIN

spock saves bones’ life

bones: “why, you wouldn’t know what to do with a genuine, human emotion --” “really, doctor?” “yeah, i’m worried about jim too”

not mentioned above: the FUCKING sex eyebrows. bones keeps flicking his eyes to spock’s lips.

the sexual tension is eNormous. save them

the ultimate computer

when your bf gets jealous of a computer

bones: spock sure loves that computer

jim: yeah I Hate It. No Reason Why Just a Bad Feeling

Actual Canon Dialogue: “Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them. Captain, the starship also runs on loyalty to one man, and nothing can replace it, or him.”

friday’s child

jim & bones have a fight & when jim apologizes spock basically tells him off Vulcan-style

uh bones adopts a baby it’s fine

bones is holding hands w this warrior lady and when spock walks by he YANKS his hand out of hers like a guilty kid

spock makes an Angst Face and walks away

there is no context for any of this

bones: “you put one hand here to support its head -- “ spock: “I would rather - I would rather not”

the baby gets named “leonard james” and they’re like spock what a great name right? what do you think?

spock: I think the two of you will be insufferable for a week, captain

journey to babel

fucking. iconique

Worst Meet The Parents Ever

Amanda & Jim bond over being in love with Vulcans

Spock & Sarek bond over their illogical humans

jim pretends he’s not Literally Dying of a stab wound so spock can save his dad

the apple

can you maybe Stop Flirting before you’re all dead

handholding bc why not

spock Yeets Himself in front of a poison dart (for jim ofc) and then tries to say it was the logical course of action

bones calls spock the devil pt 1

a piece of the action

“spocko”

spock says jim’s driving alarms him

this episode is terrible. please watch it

the changeling

spock melds with a computer & gets hurt and jim LOSES IT

no platonic touches we cling to each other’s arms instead

catspaw

this ep is complete batshit

bones calls spock the devil pt 2

kinky dungeon adventures

the deadly years

this shit is ANGSTY

they all start aging really fast ig

jim: ‘i’m not pretty anymore’ spock: I love u anyway captain

spock displaces jim for his own good and jim’s like ‘how could u of all people betray me like this. I thought u LOVED me’

season 3:

and the children shall lead

turbolift makeouts

”my Vulcan friend”

can your bf bring you out of a full-blown, alien-induced panic attack by saying your name one (1) time? no? didn’t think so

need me a freak like THAT

this also made us start shrieking in the kitchen btw. my mom thought we were dying

the tholian web

this is The Angstiest Episode of TOS

they think jim’s dead & can’t stop arguing and it’s Sad

jim leaves them (just Spock and Bones btw) a message to listen to after his death & it’s like ‘trust each other. be strong. love, ur bf’

when they find him he’s like ‘what happened? how’d u get along without me? what did u think of my message”

& they’re like ‘haha what message. nah it was fine.’

jim: yeah sure I call bullshit

whom gods destroy

this megalomaniac captain gets a crush on jim & spock is Not Having It

at various points the bad guy impersonates both of them. both jim and spock can tell that it’s him.

like listen. as a viewer I have the benefit of dramatic timing and background music and I couldn’t even tell

in conclusion, it’s gay, lads. thanks for coming to my tedx talk.

i’ll be back soon with additions esp to season 3. u can’t stop me.

#st #st:tos #star trek #spirk #mcspirk #long post #alyssa

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onamilton-blog · 6 years ago

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shadowsong26x · 6 years ago

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On the subject of Jedi recruitment

(This was kind of inspired by a post I saw elsewhere; I’m making my own because I didn’t want to hijack the other thread or go on a long tag ramble...)

TL:DR; No, the Jedi are not baby-snatchers. In and of themselves, they are not necessarily doing anything wrong. They are adopting kids with their parents’ approval. These are closed adoptions. That isn’t a problem.

That being said, there are some problems with the process--these are mostly external/contextual factors, but they are there.

(...also, as a note, I use “Force adept” as a catch-all term for “trained Force user” because I don’t know if we have a canon catch-all term and I like the way this one sounds.)

Okay. Actual Thoughts behind the cut.

So, like I said, I don’t think that the Jedi are necessarily doing anything wrong with the children they take in (not in a global/overall sense, anyway; interactions with specific individual children eh maybe sometimes nobody’s perfect; i.e., there was one case in Legends, IIRC, where they took in an infant who they thought had been orphaned, turned out the parents were still alive and were Not Thrilled; but, again, that’s a specific weirdness/miscommunication/acting on bad information, not a deliberate abduction). They’re certainly not kidnapping them, they’re initiating closed adoptions, etc.

But there are some external factors that make this much messier than that.

For example. What are the alternatives?

(Again, this is not saying that the Jedi are a bad option. They’re not. They’re a pretty good one, for a lot of people. But.)

Like, okay. We have seen a few other Force adept traditions (and I’ll admit that there are possibly more than I’m personally aware of; I’ve read I think the majority of the canon full novels that have been released at this point, but I’m missing some of the short-story collections and haven’t read a lot of the comics). But most of the ones that are out there are closed ethnoreligious groups (i.e., the Bardotta, Dathomir, presumably Lasan...) So they aren’t really accessible to parents of Force-sensitive children, especially in Republic territory. Also, while there are a few self-taught Force Adepts in Legends (i.e., learning on their own once given access to texts/theory/the right concepts), I can’t think of any in canon, so there’s no real telling how viable that option is, either. (And some of the Legends ones hit a wall eventually, and I think most of them ended up Dark Side adepts anyway, which I get a little pissed at but that is a separate discussion.)

The point is, if the choice is a) the Jedi Order or b) repressing/denying a fundamental part of who that child is or c) leaving them vulnerable to kidnapping or worse...that kind of sits wrong with me.

Especially since we don’t know what the followup is--we know there’s that one tiny who was selected and whose parents/mother agreed, but the baby will stay with her until they’re a little bit older/no longer An Infant (the exact reasoning behind this delay isn’t exactly explained and could be a number of things, but that’s not relevant to this decision), but what about kids whose parents are approached at around that same time who refuse? What’s the followup when parents make the call but the kid isn’t old enough to make their own opinion known (the way Ahsoka pretty clearly does in her flashbacks?)

What, if any, are the social/cultural consequences for refusing? Especially on Core worlds, which have some idea of what Jedi are capable of, both the good and the bad? But also, what about mid-rim worlds? Or throughout the Republic as a whole?

And what about the kids who aren’t lucky enough to be born in the Republic, or who are, but have parents who aren’t willing to give them up? Or who are, and their parents/guardians might have been willing, but they are just never identified*? Anakin gets let in late, but he was a special case. What happens to kids who don’t have that combination of circumstances/advocates working in their favor, but are past whatever age cutoff the Order has? Also, what is that age cutoff? Three? Six? We know it’s less than nine, but beyond that...which is not actually related to the “do Jedi steal babies” question, but it is a Jedi recruitment issue, so I feel it bears mentioning.

…so, yeah. I don’t really have a problem with what the Jedi themselves do, so much as I have a problem with some of the things they don’t do, and with the broader cultural context that has some implications that seriously bother me.

(...also, full disclosure, since it probably impacts my feelings on this topic: I’ve never really liked/been comfortable with the idea of the Jedi path as The One Way or even The Best Way For Everyone to be an active Force Adept and not Evil, especially since Jedi doctrine has probably changed/evolved over the centuries. It certainly did in Legends, and while we don’t have explicit canon on the subject, it makes sense that it would,as old as the Order is. Again, this is not in any way saying the Jedi path is a bad path. Just that if it’s the only path...that idea bothers me.)

*There are definitely some kids who are just never identified, despite living in the Republic. You know how I know?

Palpatine.

(And possibly also Maz, but I don’t really know that much/enough about her background. I do, however, know a fair amount about Palps, so I’m going to focus on him for the moment.)

Dude is from a somewhat remote but still solidly Republic world; a sector capital; his parents were wealthy/upper class/had the resources to figure out there was something unusual about their son and figure out what said unusualness was (or if children are identified through medical records/there’s a standard midichlorian test or whatever, those should’ve been on file, etc.).

And yet, so far as I can tell, he was never identified. There are enough Jedi from long-lived species out there that I don’t think erasing the relevant records after his parents refused to give him up would’ve necessarily been enough to hide his potential abilities (if that’s what happened, which…well, see my essay above; also what kind of records, if any, are kept on sensitive children who don’t go into the Order…or, come to think of it, how are potential candidates identified in the first place…).

And, I mean, one explanation is a handwaved Because Destiny Said So/the Son chose his champion and made sure he would be found by the correct teacher, but it’s also conceivable that there are kids, even from highly visible populations, who slip through the cracks.

And then I start thinking about groups that are less monitored/actually likely to go unnoticed. Kids growing up in the deep underbelly of Coruscant or other slums. Remote farming/mining/whatever worlds that are technically part of the Republic but are basically ignored (i.e., Space Appalachia). How many of them slip through the cracks, if someone like Palpatine could?

[...at this point the notes I wrote ages ago that I’m finally actually posting go into a long ramble about “how does one actually determine the number of Force-sensitives in the Galaxy slash if this is a hereditary trait slash what about people who are perceptibly more sensitive than Joe Average but not enough to join the Order...which is also an interesting discussion but wildly off topic so I’m going to leave that off unless anyone does want to discuss it.]

#star wars #meta #shadowsong rambles on occasion #basically stop saying the jedi are evil #because they are not #but there is also Context and context matters #the prequels are Complicated and i love that they are complicated #....uh yeah also sorry if this isn't super-coherent #i don't actually write direct meta like this all at once #and when i do it's usually stream-of-consciousness rather than a well-constructed Essay

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recentanimenews · 3 years ago

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My Dress-Up Darling – 02 – Just Doin’ It

Despite Kitagawa’s multiple attempts to explain the eroge in which her beloved Shizuku-tan is featured, Gojou simply can’t wrap his head around what she’s talking about. That is, until she brings up the fact that it shouldn’t matter whether someone is a boy or a girl when it comes to something they love. Gojou remembers that girl rejecting that notion along with his existence, and suddenly everything snaps into place. He’ll help Kitagawa become the one she loves most…starting Monday!

However, Kitagawa is way to excited about someone who knows what they’re doing making her a Shizuku-tan cosplay, so she shows up at his family’s shop the next morning, stylish as all get-out with her distressed cutoffs and oversized epaulette bag. Gramps is out buying Gojou a new sewing machine, or he’d be there to witness his grandson not only bring his first friend home…and a beauty to boot!

Gojou is embarrassed that Kitagawa is suddenly in his home space, but she makes strides to overwhelm that anxiety by pressing on with the mission at hand: making her Shizuku-tan cosplay. First step: taking all of her measurements, something Gojou can only see as a deeply intimate task, especially considering the guide said the subject had to be in their underwear, and Kitagawa’s compromise of a bikini doesn’t make him any more comfortable.

But here’s the thing, and Kitagawa has made it plain to him from the start: she loves Shizuku-tan, and anything that needs to be done to make that happen, she will do without hesitation. It’s only Gojou’s own hangups and baggage that are making this more than it is. That said, he is a high school lad, and Kitagawa is extremely pretty, so I’m not saying it’s easy for him to put those weird feelings aside.

To his credit, at points, he does, simply doing the job he promised to do. But he can’t keep his composure when having to measure things like her feet. Kitagawa determines his futon is the perfect place to sit for him to measure, and places her feet on his legs in order to snap him out of his fugue state. Measuring her bust isn’t any easier, and as for bust point, well…even she admits she has to handle that herself.

By the time he’s preparing for the final measurement—the inseam—Gojou hates himself for being so flustered and panicky, and wishes he was more like Kitagawa, cool as a cucumber even in such a ridiculous situation. But when his finger accidentally brushes against…a spot he had no intention of brushing against, suddenly Kitagawa is the flustered one.

Even so, she doesn’t punch Gojou into the stratosphere and run off. Instead, she lends him the two eroge Shizuku-tan appears in, so he can get a better look at what he’s making.

This results in one of the funnier scenes I’ve seen in an anime in some time: Gramps coming home to find Gojou watching what amounts to porn, then greeting him and saying dinner’s ready like nothing’s up. Gramps slowly slides the door close, admitting that Gojou “is of that age”…but is still astounded how seriously Gojou was watching…and taking notes besides! Just a fantastic misunderstanding gag.

Most of this episode was basically fanservice: Kitagawa in a skimpy bikini while Gojou sweated and struggled to obtain every last measurement…and I loved every freaking minute of it.

Gojou’s stress set against Kitagawa’s serenity; the absurdly sexual nature of the measurement-taking intertwined with its innocuously practical underlying purpose; and all of the love and artistry that went into Kitagawa’s character design and expressions (and Suguta Hina’s excellent voice work)—it all adds up to two straight home runs for Dress Up Darling.

By: sesameacrylic

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

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thebrotherscupheadandmugman · 7 years ago

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Double Z’s Fourth Follower Forever!!

Four hundred. Four hundred followers. When did I start this blog? December 13, 2017. That’s four months. Four months. My mind is literally blown rn guys. Ever since I was young, my only dream was to make people smile. I literally cannot even fathom that my words make at least 400 people do that. If you literally told me as a child that I would enjoy writing, I would never have believed you.

Anyway, the follower forever is going under the cut this time, because the last thing I want is to clog people’s dashes asdghjk

Let’s start things off with the blog that inspired me to join the rpc in the first place. They were recommended to me while I was more active on my Team Skull OC blog, and I would see their writing and was inspired to join once I knew I wanted to write for Cuphead. Miles of @gamblingcxp @playerxwo @islandkitsu @team-strife @vulpinewarrior and probably more that I can’t think of! Miles is honestly such a sweet heart, and such a supportive bean! I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where we stand now with out them! They deserve all the love and support in the world!!

Next is @plate-of-blins! Some of y’all know how selective I am with OC’s, but Blinchik is so creative and the mun is a freakin’ cinnamon roll! Not to mention clever and smart! English is well known to be one of the hardest second languages to learn, yet she speaks it so fluently and comprehensively! She probably speaks it better than some people who are native English speakers! Her and her OC deserve more love and attention!!

@djimmi-the-great-and-powerful. I’ve gotta be honest. Back in December, Djimmi was a somewhat forgettable boss for someone who hadn’t played it yet. I usually remembered bosses from their music after I bought the soundtrack, and Pyramid Peril was probably my least favorite. But now Djimmi’s a character I really love! Puphead too! You will absolutely adore their Puphead! Sweet wooden boi!! Mun is just an absolutely fantastic person too! Whether you need someone to laugh and make fart jokes with, or you need someone to give you advise, djimmi-the-great-and-powerful is a great partner and friend!! Mun also runs @askredwoodfamily and @the-devils-waiter

@askcupheadthings. Sweet boi. Sweet mun. Whether you need some angst in you life or ketchup, Taco Taako has got you freakin’ covered!! What can I really say about Taco Taako that hasn’t already been said? We may have disagreeing headcanons, but the fact that they are willing to make compromises and work with their partner is glorious! I personally think that’s what every partner should do when it comes to familial characters! Not only that, but they will go out of their way to make sure their partner is comfortable, which is so so important and admirable!! Taako also runs @boristwolf @agentlemanlyscientist @devilish-dishes @merman-cuphead @barry-boxington-the-box-kid @a-home-for-broken-mugs and @the-real-clockwork-queen

I know that @easyriches is on hiatus until they get out of school, but their mun is the frickin’ best! They’re so supportive and will never fail to make you laugh. Or scream. Usually at memes. Heck, they managed to start a war over “Milk and Cookies” vs “Cookie and Milk”...needless to say, I ended up firing them from cookies. They also combined Squeesh and Cronch to create ‘squonch,’ which I later found out upon listening to the sound effect for Goopy’s fight that it was the perfect onomatopoeia for a slime getting crushed by a tombstone falling from the sky. Who knew?

@cutieunderthesea is such a love honestly! I know we don’t talk or interact much, but I seriously love them, and love seeing them pop up in my activity feed! English is also their second language, but you probably wouldn’t have guessed that if they didn’t say so on their blog!! They’re much smarter than me, and they’re also learning how to code and stuff, which I think is really cool! They also run @sent-from-above

@dxmonsxcarnival is such a great friend that looks out for you!! I genuinely feel bad that our threads tend to get dropped before they even get started, but honestly, even if you don’t role-play much they are still a great person to talk to! I mean they keep a folder of cat images for their internet friends when they need a pick-me-up! How awesome and thoughtful is that?! They also run @shyxbrotherxmxgman and @scaredxsightless

@bashfulreptile and I haven’t known each other long, but I really like the way they portray the dragon bean!! I hope we talk more and have more threads in the future!!

@do-or-dice and I think so much alike when it comes to striving for accuracy of the times!! I even headcanon that the events in the game take place in 1934, making this blog take place in 1935- which just so happens to also be the same year that they write in! They’re super fun to share headcanons with too! I know I suck at talking friend, but I hope we interact more in the future!!

@inthediehouse aka @hornedheathen! So much potential for angst! I know I haven’t interacted with you Dice much, but I hope to change that at some point!! I really love our threads together and I hope these two fools can butt heads more in the future!!

@devilishcrybaby I know we haven’t known each other long as well, nor have we had many consistent threads, but I can just tell we’ll get along just great!!

@cala-marix is such a sweetheart too! Sweet and caring! I’m so glad whenever I see them on my dash no matter what blog they’re using! Whenever I see cat photos on my dash I can’t help but think of them! Good friend! They also run @rxmor-honeybottomx

I think this’ll be my cutoff on saying nice things because it’s been almost two hours since I started this I think. I’m only going to mention their personal since they run so many Cuphead side-blogs and I don’t know them all. I know they caused a bit of controversy a little while back, but given their young age, I’d say it’s more than excusable, and definitely worth giving them a second chance. @eye-tossing-ghostie is really such a nice person to talk to- again even if you don’t end up doing much role-playing. They’re kind and caring and they try their best to be calm and understanding. They really do mean well, and I think they deserve more patience than I see them get. They really are a nice kid, but they’re still growing an learning. I consider them a friend, even if we don’t talk or interact much.

Hold on to your butts cuz we ain’t done yet.

Cuphead: @impvlsive-gxmblcr @porcelainjokers @confidentcuphead @twocupsandacontract (I believe I’ve mentioned the others I’ve interacted with already?)

Mugman: @merrymugsy @porcelainjokers @twocupsandacontract(Again I’ve already mentioned the rest)

King Dice: @six-sided-sinner @snakeiis @gamest-intheland @diceptixn

Root Pack: @psycarota

Goopy le Grande: @bnlgoopywooper

Cagney Carnation: @getouttatherosebush @txtaldomination @twocupsandacontract @sillycxrnxtion

Ribby&Croaks: @wrongsidefthelilyp4d

Hilda Burg: @a-threatenin-zeppelin

Djimmi the Great: @its-your-pal-djimmi

Baroness Von Bon Bon: @notyoursugarqueen

Wally Jr: @juniorwarbles

Beppi the Clown: @inkwellharlequin (Mentioned the rest I believe?)

Brineybeard: @drunkensxilor

Cala Maria: @highseachighjinxs (mentioned the rest)

Werner Werman: @muriinecorps @vermin-veteran @rat-in-a-can

Dr. Khal: @whoyougonnakahl

Phantom Express: @blxndspxctcr

Casino Bosses: @wheezycigar @rxssian-roulette @poker-chip-cowboy @melty-8ball

Devil: @casinx @whenyouareevil (I know there’s way more but I either can’t find them or already mentioned them)

Demon Cups/Mugs: @goodmugbadmug @diabolical-ceramics

OCs: @cxrtoon-hxnter @saltyocsrp @hellssecretary @doggone-doneit @claireinette @polaroidxcamera @williamstripes @rollthediceheads @drumline-doom @cupfull-o-muses

Whew!! That was a lot!! Now some may be missing because I have the memory of a gnat, and others may have gone on hiatus. There were a couple of people on here that I was going to mention but then I remembered they were on hiatus for one reason or another. So if I mentioned a blog that’s no longer active, I really apologize for that. If I forgot to mention you, I also apologize for that.

That being said, that y’all so much again for 400!! Next follower forever happens at 800!! We can totally do this guys!! I love you all so much!

~ Double Z))

#Out of Luck #400 Followers!#Double Z's Follower Forever #((I can't say enough thanks because all of y'all are amazing!!))

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safepills4ed · 3 years ago

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9 Ways To Increase Testosterone Naturally

In case you've been encountering indications like lessened sex drive, low energy, trouble shedding pounds or erectile issues, it's an ideal opportunity to consider some ways you can expand testosterone normally.

What is testosterone?

Testosterone is generally known for its "masculine" consequences for boosting seriousness and craving for power, however it assumes a lot greater part in the body than that. It's critical to the wellbeing of male sexuality and propagation by expanding drive, sperm tally, and sexual joy.

Testosterone even further develops the sex drive in females—it's a definitive charisma boosting chemical! Be that as it may, testosterone plays a huge part in generally speaking wellbeing and prosperity also. It influences bulk, hair development, bone thickness, and red platelet improvement.

Ordinary levels are basic for typical psychological capacity, temperament strength, practice perseverance and energy. A low testosterone level can be related with an assortment of indications, including diminished sex drive, erectile brokenness, discouraged temperament, weight acquire, decreased fit bulk, trouble with fixation, helpless memory, lessened intellectual capacity, joint pain, and an expanded danger of coronary illness.

You can have your T level tried by your PCP on the off chance that you have any of these side effects to decide whether they might be an aftereffect of brought down testosterone levels.

Why increment testosterone normally?

Since testosterone (T) assumes a particularly significant part in your sexual wellbeing and in general prosperity, you need to guarantee you're doing all that you can to normally amplify your testosterone level.

There are many items, enhancements, and refreshments available professing to support testosterone and further develop sex drive. Some (the majority) of these items don't work, and studies show that a large number of these enhancements can really have long haul, negative incidental effects including liver and kidney harm, chemical uneven characters, misfortune in bone thickness, and then some.

What you burn-through to assist your wellbeing with hurting it. So I've made a rundown of 13 simple, trustworthy, regular approaches to build testosterone and lift your sexual wellbeing and in general imperativeness.

1. Exercise.

The principal thing that regularly strikes a chord when the vast majority consider expanding testosterone is work out. They consider immense, solid men lifting 400lb hand weights at the rec center. Furthermore, this isn't completely off-base.

Studies show that focused energy practice supports testosterone both in the short-and long haul. Short time periods power preparing end up being more valuable in delivering regular testosterone than delayed exercise, vigorous exercise, or running.

Strength preparing can have this focused energy stretch impact on testosterone in case it's exceptional enough. The best approach to do this is to build the weight being lifted, and bring down the quantity of reps. Propel yourself harder, for a more limited timeframe.

Likewise, center around practices that work an enormous number of muscles without a moment's delay to additional increment the force.

Who knew deadlifts and squats were really regular approaches to expand testosterone? Propel yourself as hard as possible for 30 seconds, and afterward rest (without dialing back your pulse). Indeed, even 20 minutes every day of intense cardio exercise will support your testosterone and begin to fabricate sound, slender muscle.

Span preparing activity can likewise assist you with shedding pounds, which further expands testosterone levels, as per the Endocrine Society.

2. Eat great fats.

The possibility of a Ron Swanson "masculine" burger might have some reality behind it. Sound fats are a characteristic method to expand testosterone rapidly and viably.

Nonetheless, not all fat is acceptable fat. Studies propose that soaked unsaturated fats (SFAs) and mono unsaturated fats (MUFAs) are the best indicator of testosterone accelerations, while poly unsaturated fats can really bring down testosterone.

An examination by the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism found that men who ate more than 100g of fat each day for about fourteen days had fundamentally more significant levels of free testosterone. This is on the grounds that fats diminish globulin, the chemical that ties to, and lessens.

Get some information about tracking down the right blend of fats in your eating routine.

Here are some normal approaches to build testosterone by burning-through sound, flavorful fats:

Meat

Grass-took care of hamburger is the main wellspring of testosterone-boosting protein with the perfect measure of sound fats. Ensure the meat is natural, since pesticides and bug sprays can bring down your testosterone.

Eggs

Eggs are viewed as the ideal protein since they have all nutrients and amino acids for human necessities (aside from nutrient C). They have for the most part SFA and MUFA, and the yolk contains significant degrees of cholesterol, which is a forerunner to testosterone creation.

Coconut

Perhaps the most exhaustive, normal approaches to expand testosterone is devouring coconuts or coconut oil. Coconut is a soaked fat that creates sound cholesterol while lessening muscle to fat ratio, boosting metabolic rate, and working on intellectual capacities—all of which can assist with facilitating indications of low testosterone.

Olive oil and argan oil

Cooking with and adding additional virgin olive oil to your food are regular approaches to expand testosterone. Olive oil is a mitigating and high in cancer prevention agents, yet it likewise contains raised degrees of oleuropein, a testosterone-adoring harsh.

One examination tracked down that Moroccan men who added olive oil to their weight control plans saw an increment in testosterone levels by 17%. This investigation likewise subbed Argan oil for olive oil, and the testosterone levels expanded by about 20%.

Add either—or both—to your day by day utilization for a speedy (and delicious) increase in testosterone.

3. Burn-through zinc.

Enhancing your eating regimen with zinc for just a month and a half can have stamped improvement in testosterone levels. Since zinc is a metal, concentrated enhancements can have serious incidental effects on the body. All things considered, settle on regular approaches to expand testosterone by devouring zinc-rich food sources:

Crude milk

Crude cheddar

Beans

Kefir from crude milk

Sardines

Anchovies

Cashews

Wild Salmon

Yogurt

Clams

Clams are so wealthy in zinc they can really help your testosterone in minutes. No big surprise shellfish are a steamy (and pungent) Spanish fly!

4. Increment your nutrient D level.

Nutrient D is vital for the improvement of the sperm cell and support of high sperm tally and quality. A ton of men who experience the ill effects of low testosterone manifestations find that they are inadequate in nutrient D too.

The most ideal approach to get nutrient D is by getting some sun (try to utilize sunscreen so you're not in danger for skin disease, however). Indeed, I am saying that taking a dip, playing ball, and getting away are incredibly normal approaches to expand testosterone.

In case it's cold or you tend to consume, however, there are other normal approaches to expand testosterone with nutrient D, such as devouring greasy fish (salmon, trout, fish, and mackerel), invigorated milk or squeeze, and egg yolks (back to those sound fats).

5. Lessen pressure.

At the point when you're worried, your body discharges cortisol. A University of Texas Austin study found that cortisol hinders the creation of testosterone. This can prompt long haul, low T levels, placing the body in an endless loop of pressure and decreased testosterone.

Lower your cortisol by overseeing pressure through unwinding procedures, similar to profound breathing or reflection. Make time to play around with your loved ones, and track down the loosening up strategies that work for you.

Devouring garlic can assist with bringing down cortisol, since it contains the pressure diminishing allicin, which permits the body to viably keep delivering testosterone. Unadulterated pomegranate juice can likewise bring down cortisol levels and improve testosterone by 24% all things considered.

6. Burn-through probiotics.

Probiotics are acceptable microorganisms that your gut needs to work appropriately, prompting stomach related wellbeing and by and large prosperity. Ongoing investigations have shown that probiotics might expand testosterone levels, testicular size and weight, and even forestall age-related testicular shrinkage. The justification this might be that probiotic organisms convert pressure related cortisol into testosterone subsidiaries, as found by Phillip Hylemon at Virginia Commonwealth University. Aged food varieties will in general have probiotics, similar to yogurt, sauerkraut, and blue cheddar. A blue-cheddar burger would really hit the spot.

7. Eat more ginger and onion.

Ginger and onion might be the secret jewels of these regular approaches to build testosterone. Ginger further develops nitric oxide check and blood stream, which places your body in the "temperament." In a University of Tikrik study, burning-through ginger raised testosterone by 17%. Another investigation found that adding onion juice to rat feed expanded testosterone levels by practically 200%. There aren't any investigations of the impacts of onions on human chemicals, yet with such critical impacts in rodents, it merits adding to your eating regimen.

8. Cutoff sugar admission.

Not feeling provocative get-togethers large cut of cake? That might be something beyond your tummy talking. Sugar prompts higher insulin, and insulin prompts lower testosterone. The more you cut high-sugar things out of your eating regimen, the higher your testosterone will be.

9. Cutoff liquor admission.

Liquor has been found to negatively affect testosterone levels just as raising estrogen and cortisol levels. Drinking liquor invigorates the change of testosterone into estrogen, which can additionally bring down your bone thickness and drive. In the event that you will in general drink intensely, this might be a secret reason for your lessened sex drive. The jumps in lager are profoundly estrogenic—to such an extent that it is being read as a treatment for menopausal ladies. Restricting sugar and liquor are normal approaches to build testosterone by simplifying way of life changes that will likewise work on your general wellbeing and personal satisfaction.

#testosterone

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