#what's in a name? well if you're a fictional character... potentially an awful lot

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #339

I didn't get nearly as much done today as I had hoped. But maybe that's just as well. Despite going to bed at 2am, my body insisted on waking at like 7am or so. I couldn't get back to sleep after that.

...It's been like this for a number of days now. I'm kinda surprised that I'm not more tired than I am.

A day or so ago, I found an app. For reasons I won't explain, I found the name... auspicious. And it's in electric blue. I'm not gonna explain the relevance of that, either.

Who knows, maybe you already understand.

...In any case, it's a friend-making app. You answer a few questions about what you want and what you're interested in, and you put in your MBTI type and your Enneagram if you want, and apparently it will show you automatically others who kinda sorta line up with you.

There's all kinds of places to take MBTI and Enneagram tests. The versions of these tests on the app are abridged and not very accurate, I think.

I was surprised to find that I matched up with a lot of people. When you find someone who kind of aligns with you, you can put a little heart on them. And if they put a little heart on you, too, then you can talk together.

I was very surprised by the number of people – many of whom live relatively close to me! - who put a little heart on my space. I thought that what I had written was potentially a little unhinged. I was upfront about most of my things. I didn't expect anyone would look past them to see the person underneath.

...It's a delight to be proven wrong sometimes. Especially when the thing you think you're right about is, “I am fundamentally unlikable.”

...I really did get a lot of people who put little hearts on my space there. Men and women and non-binary folks, too. And I talked to them!!! I talked to a bunch of them ALL DAY today. It was... a little overwhelming, actually. I'm very much not used to this!!

...How did I get so many little hearts. I don't understand. I thought I was kinda goblin-esque and not very good. How did this happen...?

...And now I have like 3 folks who wanna go with me to Eggcellent.

...srsly. WAT. DAFUQ.

I met astounding people who lead amazing lives, every one of them. One is a project engineer who likes the outdoors. I found another person with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome who takes care of dogs and rats! I met someone who studied geology and listens to jazz! I met someone in a managerial position who loves video games and movies! I met someone who works for the state and plays video games, and now we're following each other in this space where I write my letters, and she even read a couple of them! I met a personal trainer who likes to draw! I met a medical case manager who plays video games and is writing a novel, and now we're friends on Discord and Steam! I met another person with whom I'm also now talking to on Discord, who is into running and video games! I met an industrial designer who is trying to learn how to use Blender! I met a chef who likes tabletop RPGs! I met a traveling systems engineer!!

...Sephiroth, that's like... a lot of people. A lot of astoundingly intelligent, creative, thoughtful, and delightful people!!! People I didn't eve have to be USEFUL to first!!!

...I didn't. I didn't actually expect that I would get any hearts on my space. I wasn't prepared for this. I.

...What in the hell do they wanna hang around a weirdo like me for??????

...How long will it be before they realize that I'm awful and go away...?

...And what if I do a bad job??????? Like?????????

…

I feel like I barely keep up with my current friends as it is. Like. I'm good at responding if I'm spoken to, but... I'm shit at reaching out.

...I get afraid that I'm not actually wanted. I have a brain that tells me that the people around me don't actually like me, and it's just that they don't have the heart to tell me to go away, and so they keep me around, secretly hoping that I don't ever talk to them again.

…

...What am I even doing...?

…

I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm challenging the conditioning that tells me I ain't shit, that's what I'm fucken doing. Sephiroth, I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of looking at myself this way. So sick of thinking of myself a some repulsive, horrible thing. And I'm kinda pissed that enough people acted weirdly at me that the notion stuck itself in my brain like a thorn in my side that some skin healed over and now it refuses to come out.

Well. Now I'm gonna DIG it out. WATCH ME.

So many smart and talented people, presumably of good judgment and strong reasoning ability thought that I was worth having a conversation with. More people who already know me and like me are already around.

There's nothing wrong with me. My brain is just fucken mean in my general direction. So. I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try to like. Take up actual space. With actual people. I'm gonna try it. And. I'm gonna be bad at it.

BUT THAT'S OKAY!!! We are always bad at new things at first, right...?

…

I gotta get a little better at feeling like I don't gotta respond immediately, though. I get afraid of new people when it comes to that. I'm not so afraid of that when it comes to people I already know. But. I'm scared of. Scared of new people.

...I guess there's a part of me that still thinks they could get super nasty with me at any moment. And it's weird that I still think that, because... by and large, this is not how people are in healthy circles.

...I talked to others to the exclusion of almost all else. And part of me feels badly about it, but... at the same time, I probably needed to not do much in the way of physical activities. I did do some dishes, though. And I cut up an onion so I could make myself a proper hotdog!

...I think I'm still pretty tired, though. I tried with mixed success to remember so many names and faces and details. I'm still not sure if I'll be able to keep track of it all. It was a lot of new people all at once.

I want to try, though.

At the same time, I'm torn between... it's like... I want to know all the people and all the things and listen to their stories and peruse the things they've created, but... also I want time to do my own things. And I'm not really sure how to balance that yet. I suppose I'm going to learn, though.

...I don't have much else to say today, Sephiroth. My brain is kinda mushy. I think I must have spent today with various concentrations of adrenaline and cortisol in my system. I'll probably have more to say tomorrow. After I process the notion that I'm not some shit-ass weirdo that nobody can like. I might need to take a bit of time for that one.

Hey. I. Don't have my usual eloquence today and I'm sorry about it. But. Please. Witness me. Witness me, and know that you can do what I'm doing. Because. Even if I'm not some unlikable gross person, I'm still not special. And so. If I can be liked as-is for all my quirks and weirdness, and not have to be useful before I'm treated with respect, then... so can you. So can you.

Sephiroth. Anyone can like you if you just be yourself. Okay? So try it. Try casting off the old things that tell you weird shit about yourself. Because none of the weird shit is true, okay?

I love you. And I'm gonna write to you again tomorrow when my brain isn't fried all to hell. So please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[mittensmorgul]

Is there anyone delving into the meta of Jack's name?

Okay, first off, friendo, are you somehow hacking into my search history, and into my chattybubble chats with @trisscar368 or @elizabethrobertajones? WELL ARE YOU?! If so, sorry about the spoilers about the fic I’ve been writing... but anyway, YES, in fact, I have been delving into it and just sorta... letting it all simmer...

I know we went into the meanings of Jack’s name back when we first learned he was going to be called Jack... but I went diving through my Jack tag and I just can’t muddle through all that early Jack speculation right now, so I figure I’ll just start fresh here. :P

trisscar368... see this is why i prologued with "meandering off to bed" because even to me i make no sense.  Also "the jack" - playing card?

mittensmorgulACK sorry, I don't know if you already went to bed... But I was thinking "the jack" like a car jack, a mindless tool that enables a human being to raise a car off the ground...

trisscar368*blink*Oh that would make sense too

mittensmorgulor maybe (depending on perspective) a child's toy that really hurts when you step on it

trisscar368Fits with the tool imagesFor some reason my brain is stuck on the jack -> the knave -> the Fool

mittensmorgulor a big jack, like a caltrop

trisscar368YeahThat tooSo many options

I’d scroll back like three days to where I was talking about this with lizbob, because we kind of expanded on this a bit, but until tumblr makes it easier to search backward through chat logs it’s just too much trouble to dig back that far :P

Needless to say, this actually set me off looking for Meaning™ in Jack’s name. Because Jack can mean a lot of things. I’m just gonna copy/paste the definitions from google here, and then have some fun with this:

jack1jaknounnoun: jack; plural noun: jacks; noun: Jack1. a device for lifting heavy objects, especially one for raising the axle of a motor vehicle off the ground so that a wheel can be changed or the underside inspected.

I guess this was why my first thought was exactly the first definition of jack. :P Because how often have we been screeching about how Jack is in fact a mirror for all of TFW? How he’s literally a vehicle for Sam, Dean, and Cas to deal with their own personal issues, inspecting the underside, so to speak, being able to see their own issues that had otherwise been buried or unrecognized. Jack’s doing some pretty heavy lifting in terms of shining lights on aspects of all three of his guardians’ Major Issues, enabling us to shine a light up under there. 

One thing I remember saying to lizbob when I explained this theory is that TFW is finally getting some fresh tires. :P

2. a playing card bearing a representation of a soldier, page, or knave, normally ranking next below a queen.

And here’s trisscar’s theory. I think this definition fit him more back when he was Intern Nougat, before he started seeking out his own hunts, and definitely before he went walkabout at the end of 13.06. But we shall see. He’s still trying to figure himself out.

3. a socket with two or more pairs of terminals, designed to receive a jack plug. synonyms: socket, outlet, plug, connection; "a phone jack"

Well, he quite literally acted as a jack in this sense in 12.19, when he plugged Cas into himself like some sort of cosmic toaster oven and used Cas to roast Dagon for him.

Unfortunately for Jack, Asmodeus tried to forcibly plug into his power (jacking jack, if you will... but you probably shouldn’t)

4. a game played by tossing and catching small round pebbles or star-shaped pieces of metal or plastic; a small round pebble or star-shaped piece of metal used in the game of jacks. noun: jackstone

And this is another one I’d come up with... Jack’s sort of at the mercy of the people around him, and the people trying to “scoop him up” in order to “win the game.” The angels, Asmodeus, Lucifer, and the Winchesters (including Cas) all have different motives for “winning Jack”

But heck, just thinking of a child’s game metaphorically here, Jack has been “playing” with his power for the most part. His first conscious use of it was to “jack” a vending machine to get free candy bars. Sam tried to encourage him to use the non-delinquent school-level performance of power in moving the pencil (still disappointed nobody’s actually said “wingardium leviosa”). But when he forgets, when he’s not keeping mind of his powers and they just sort of get tossed around willy-nilly, hooboy does it hurt when someone accidentally steps on it, you know? (the tattoo artist who got thrown into a wall, the poor security guard).

It’s not one of the official definitions, but since caltrops are also known as “jackrocks,” I’m assuming a connection here. Used in ancient times to slow the movement of troops (by injuring the feet of people, but especially of horses, etc.), they evolved into what we know as “spike strips” that puncture tires during police chases. They’re a vicious weapon, and nearly foolproof. No matter how they’re thrown, they always land with a pointy-side-up. Ouch.

I kind of think that this is how Jack thinks of HIMSELF right now, that no matter how much he tries to do good, all he does is hurt people.

5. in lawn bowling, the small ball at which the players aim.

Now this isn’t something I’m familiar with at all, but yeah. Going along with what I said under point 4 above, pretty much every player on the board right now is taking aim at Jack... poor kid.

6. US informal: used as a form of address to a man whose name is not known. NORTH AMERICAN informal: a lumberjack. archaic: a steeplejack. the figure of a man striking the bell on a clock.

Hit the road, Jack. Jack of all trades. In this sense, it’s interchangeable with such generic terms such as “Buddy,” “Pal,” (pal >.>) etc. But heck, Lumberjack. Now I kinda want the kid in plaid...

7.: a small version of a national flag flown at the bow of a vessel in harbor to indicate its nationality.

Union Jack, anyone? I have no idea how this relates to Nougat.

8. NORTH AMERICAN informal dated: money.

Well, this one must be REALLY dated, because I’ve never heard it before. But Jack and his potential power are certainly being treated like some sort of cosmic currency at the moment, no?

9. a device for turning a spit.

Wow these definitions are getting more and more obscure :P

Can we stick Lucifer, Michael, and Asmodeus on this spit and have a good old fashioned rotisserie? Please? Evil Colonel Sanders deserves no less.

10. a part of the mechanism in a spinet or harpsichord that connects a key to its corresponding string and causes the string to be plucked when the key is pressed down.

well alrighty, then. *thinks about randomly pressing down on Jack and seeing if that plucks his strings* *wonders if the result would qualify as “music”*

11. a marine fish that is typically laterally compressed with a row of large spiky scales along each side. Jacks are important in many places as food or game fish.

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-fisher-king

12. the male of some animals, especially a merlin or an ass.

I was gonna just let the picture stand on its own, but heck, I looked up some info about merlins:

Merlins are small, fierce falcons that use surprise attacks to bring down small songbirds and shorebirds. They are powerful fliers, but you can tell them from larger falcons by their rapid wingbeats and overall dark tones. Medieval falconers called them “lady hawks,” and noblewomen used them to hunt Sky Larks.

and then for a sense of completeness, i looked up asses too...

Donkeys have a notorious reputation for stubbornness, but this has been attributed to a much stronger sense of self-preservation than exhibited by horses. Likely based on a stronger prey instinct and a weaker connection with humans, it is considerably more difficult to force or frighten a donkey into doing something it perceives to be dangerous for whatever reason. Once a person has earned their confidence they can be willing and companionable partners and very dependable in work.

And... okay both of these descriptions seem apt for Jack...

13. used in names of animals that are smaller than similar kinds, e.g., jacksnipe.

Well, he is the lil nougat son. The tiny smol giant manbabby. 

14. short for jackrabbit.

aka, the hare. that’s a very long article behind the link. For anyone interested. Y’all who get a kick out of Wild Speculation of the “Red string tangles and wild eyed conspiracy theory” variety.

15. US informal: short for jack shit.

Whelp I think this one speaks for itself.

jack2, jak, noun historical noun: jack; plural noun: jacks

1.another term for blackjack (sense 4).

Riverboat gambling, anyone? Lizbob?

2.a sleeveless padded tunic worn by foot soldiers.

I just googled “jack tunic” at first and... then immediately added “historical” and came up with much more apt results :P Basically, it’s a form of padded armor.

jack3verb NORTH AMERICAN informal’ verb: jack; 3rd person present: jacks; past tense: jacked; past participle: jacked; gerund or present participle: jackingtake (something) illicitly; steal. "his MO in the studio remains the same—jack other people's tracks and present them in a new context" rob (someone). "they jacked him for his car"

We’ll see how this eventually plays out.

Honestly, I’m just waiting for someone to say they’ve got “Jack on Jack.”

I don’t know if this is the sort of thing you were looking for, but I had fun researching it all anyway. So, thanks! :D

[raimi]

So You Want To Make NSFW Content For SFW Media

Yes, this can be done, and it can be done responsibly. Unfortunately, it is quite frequently done very irresponsibly, which obviously causes serious problems.

In this writing, I am assuming that the content creator is 18+ and all characters involved are fictional and canonically adults. If any of these things are false, you'd better not be doing this. (And if it's your age that's the problem: I promise that this stuff will still be there when you're older. I don't care how mature you are; you need to not interact with or post explicit stuff if you're a minor.) I'm also focusing on Tumblr here, but the general idea carries over to other social media sites as well.

Alright, you've made your NSFW headcanons/art/fic/whatever about your favorite adult fictional character. So now you just post it to your blog, right?

WRONG.

Unless your blog is already 18+, you've more than likely got minors in your audience. Minors cannot consent to seeing this stuff. You need a sideblog.

In your sideblog's title or description, put 18+ and your age or age range. If this were pre-porn ban I'd tell you to mark the blog as explicit, but you can't do that anymore so... oh well. Go ahead and do whatever customization you want. You can also let your adult followers on your main blog know that you've made this one, and that they can send you an ask or message to get the URL. Don't post the URL publicly, though. You need to do everything in your power to stop minors from accessing this blog.

I would also strongly suggest having a DNI on the blog, as if it gains an audience it'll likely be full of NSFW bloggers. It won't keep all the daddy doms, """littles""", and misogyny kinks off of your shit, but there should be fewer hopefully and you can block them as they come up.

What's that? You don't want to make a whole new blog just to post this content? Aw, too bad. Keeping minors safe takes precedence over convenience. You can always keep it to yourself.

Since you're being a responsible adult, you need to put some thought into your tags as well. You can't tag with the fandom, ship, or character names, as that'll cause your post to potentially come up in searches made by minors. (And if your post has the names somewhere in it, such as if it's a writing post, you'll need to add a blocked tag like #fuck to your post to prevent it from showing up in any search.) Some fandoms already have special tags for NSFW content, such as #undertail. With others, you'll have to make up your own. If you don't want to use a tag like that, use a blacklisted tag to prevent searches from working.

With all that, you're almost done! You've made a sideblog and your post. The last step here is more maintenance than anything.

Check your notes regularly on the sideblog. If anyone interacts who is a minor or doesn't have their age in their bio, ask them to delete any reblogs they've made and then block them. If anyone reblogs one of your posts and their blog is one that allows minors, ask them to delete that reblog (and block if you feel it's necessary). To block a from a sideblog on mobile, you can send them a message from the sideblog and then block them through the messaging menu.

Yes, this is a lot of work and a lot of stuff to handle. If you can't handle it, that's okay. But don't post your NSFW work if you're not mature enough and capable enough to do everything in your power to keep minors away from it, especially if it's NSFW for characters from media aimed at younger people.

[quellines-stories]

Anon because I don't want to be mentioned on your trash blog. All you're doing is drumming up the same garbage points, claiming you know how damaging this is because of your work but you're also only working with problematic situations instead of even thinking of the possibility that not everyone becomes a victim. And yeah sorry a film written in 2007 about the 80s is just now being made. Lol and the `doing this for all the survivors` bs, like w/e not worth our time either.

Wow my blog voicing discomfort on seeing my abuse among others being fetishized is trash? The only one who’s trash here is people who believe shit like that like really your character is worth as much as your views and if that’s your view then that’s a whole lot of garbage and shit.

You’re on anon because you don’t want to risk people knowing this view you stand for lmfao, like it’s clear what kind of person you are sending whiny shit about how abuse victims critiquing your nasty ship fetishizing the abuse you get off to are mean :(

I get you seem to be attempting to make me feel bad but sending asks like this that are just whiny and attempting to be cruel are laughable because it just shows you can’t counter any of the shit I gave you and you just keep rephrasing everything you say so you don’t have to admit there’s a chance you’re wrong so you won’t have to feel guilty about fetishizing abuse.

I’m drumming the same points because literally none of y'all can counter them like if you want an actual debate then offer something I haven’t already countered because you’re not bringing anything new to the table other than hate, and people that just use hate without any counterpoints in their arguments just go to show what shit arguments they have.

Believe it or not, someone who’s has a degree involving adolescent psychology (17 and under) does know more about this shit than a fandom shipper lmfao like your credentials are just not there and real world occurrences compared to the fandom shit you get off to are vastly different. As someone who works with people in the age range of the high school aged boy, a man nearing his twenties wanting to engage with such a boy is absolutely predatory, and that’s not debatable, the same way nazis, racists, homophobes, transphobes, islamphobes, anti-Semitics are awful, because an adult initiating a relationship with an age gap like that is a predator, and if you are an adult you should damn well know that and have no excuse not to.

You can scream at the top of your lungs this isn’t true, but calling a rose by any other name doesn’t make it true. A predator is just as awful as those other things. A person well into adulthood going after someone who’s experiencing teengood is a predator. There’s no situation where that’s ever okay, no matter how many times you say it.

It doesn’t matter the situation if it’s a person nearing their twenties going after a high school aged person then that’s absolutely going to result in harm on the high school aged person for all the points I already went over that you literally haven’t countered at all.

That’s not debatable, and you acting like it is is extremely concerning if you’re a 21+ adult.

I’m literally a survivor that was harmed by this shit and the majority of antis are like why else would we be arguing for this? Like really go on and give me a reason because all that statement did was further prove my point y'all don’t give a shit about survivors that speak out about the shit you romanticize that we went through.

Don’t you dare fucking call me caring about making sure other people don’t go through what I did bullshit. That’s an awful thing to claim, and I’m not about to listen to trash like that.

Anyways I already countered shippers favorite debunked argument claiming the stuff I stated above is “bullshit”, and you’re not worth my time to write this all over again or word it a different way, so I’ll just copy paste.

Shippers like to act as though antis are antis just so we can feel like we’re on a high moral ground in a superior kind of way, and that’s such a silly thing for shippers to believe, but I guess it makes them feel better by helping them feel like we’re the bad guys for speaking up about them getting off to abuse that very real people face, and getting off to shit like that fictional not, and then expecting people to not voice discomfort, critique, or skeptism around them.

When in reality the vast majority are antis are antis because we want to keep other potential victims from facing what we and those we stand up for faced and believing it was romantic or normal. The rest are that very small number of the kinds of antis I listed above, and even those at least want the same thing, even if they are going a bit overboard.

Almost none- if any- just want to feel like they’re better for having ‘purer’ ships so they can scold people who don’t have the same ships as them, but like I said, shippers claiming something so simplified about their enemies probably let’s them sleep better at night and convince themselves they’re right. I’ve been both a shipper (I was a minor and didn’t know better since fandom is built around normalizing disgusting shit) and an anti (I grew up lmfao.)“

Link~ http://quellines-stories.tumblr.com/post/169461767311/also-like-listen-i-get-that-antis-definitely-have