#what's death gonna do?? stop me???? pathetic.
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𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞
Pairing: Joel Miller x reader
Warnings: Smut, swearing
1.02
The wind carries the acrid smell of burning flesh as the stench of death reaches your nostrils. You toss another black bag into the already burning pit just on the edges of the quarantine zone you lived in. Clad in grimy clothing, trudging through the charred remains of the once-bustling city. You heave a heavy sack of garbage filled with a day's worth of waste onto the fire, the sound of plastic groaning under the strain echoing through the desolate streets.
As you continue your grim task, you can't help but steal glances further along the road at the larger fire blazing beside the one you’re assigned to. Your mouth goes dry when you notice Joel; his brows are pulled together as he drops a body into the fire. He was hauntingly beautiful. There were so many small things you missed when you weren’t with him, like the way he hummed when kissing you and his sarcastic mannerisms. If Joel was telling you a story that made him happy, he’d trace his fingers up and down your arm. He did that often when talking about his brother Tommy.
As Joel walks back towards the truck to retrieve another body, he lifts his head and briefly makes eye contact with you, but just as you smile, his tired eyes swiftly move to something behind you.
“Sad, isn’t it?” A woman with red hair approaches you and says, "Sad, isn't it?" “I’m thankful I’m burning people's trashe and not their bodies. I did it once and had nightmares for weeks.”
“Yeah, it will do that.”
“Where’s Tess? I thought she was on the same shift as you.”
“She swapped them.”
The redhead raises her brows and says, “Oh, that’s handy, I suppose, always having someone in your apartment. The building next to mine got raided a few days ago.”
You think of your sister sneaking around the roof at night, her rifle slung over her shoulder as she scans the horizon for any signs of movement. You weren’t sure if that was for her protection or to protect whatever contraband she was trying to smuggle. According to your sister, she and Joel have been ‘upping their game’ for months now, but you try your best not to ask any questions.
As you stand there, lost in thought, a sudden chill runs down your spine. You pause, trying to shake off the unease that has settled over you.
—
Joel rips the condom packet open with his teeth before rolling the rubber over his hard cock; his rough fingers grip onto your hips as he sinks into your cunt. You groan loudly, feeling him moving his hands to spread you open as he moves your feet so they are resting on either side of his head as he thrusts into you.
“Fuck! You’re so sensitive,” he says before swiping his thumb across your clit. He smirks when your legs start to tremble. “Do you like that, baby girl?”
All you can do is nod pathetically.
Without pulling out of you, Joel wraps his arms around your waist and changes position. You’re now sitting on his lap, your legs dangling on either side of him as Joel sits on the edge of the bed. The new position makes him feel much deeper than before; your fingernails dig into the side of his neck.
“You take me so well,” he pants. “When I’m done pounding into your tight little pussy, I’m gonna kiss it better. Do you want that?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” You lean back, Joel takes one of your breasts into his mouth, his tongue swirling around your nipple, and then he abruptly stops thrusting. “What the hell—“
He covers your mouth with his hand and quietly asks, “Are you sure Tess is working late tonight?”
You nod.
“Shit,” he lifts you off his lap and whispers. “Don’t leave this room until I say so.”
You are slightly confused as he effortlessly lifts you off his lap, moments after the orgasm that was on the brink of consuming you was abruptly interrupted. It takes you a moment to process what’s happening. It’s not until he closes the door behind him that you fully register what’s going on. Someone was trying to break in. You scramble to your feet and quickly start to redress, but before you pull your pants up, three gunshots go off outside your room.
You get the gun that’s hidden beneath your mattress and aim at the doorway, waiting to see who comes through as the door handle starts to turn.
“Don’t shoot; it’s only me.”
“What the hell just happened?”
Joel brushes his sweaty hair out of his face. “Raiders, they managed to unlock your door from the outside, but I can fix it.”
“Oh my god.”
You go to leave the room, but he takes hold of your arm and says, “Trust me, you don’t want to see.”
“But we’re going to need to clean it up before Tess gets back.”
He lets out a deep sigh and holds onto your shoulders. “Finish getting dressed; I’ll deal with the bodies.”
You cared a lot for Joel, probably a little too much, but the one thing you hated was that he acted as if you were made of glass. Both he and Tess seem to forget that blood surrounds you every day.
Joel lets go of you to find his clothes that were scattered across your room; he had only slipped his boxers on before leaving the room. You watch as he ties off the condom before shoving it into the bottom of the trashcan in your room. While you studied him, you had no way of knowing how terrified Joel was of losing you moments ago. Joel's heart raced at the sound of someone trying to break through the front door; his first instinct was to save you; he killed two men without regret because it meant you were safe, but yet he had no intention of saying these thoughts out loud.
—
Your hands shake as you nervously fumble with the box in them. Now or never. Hearing the click of the door opening, you pull a used towel over your lap and frown at your sister, “Jesus, Tess, have you ever heard of knocking?”
Without even glancing in your direction, she goes directly to the sink, immediately rummaging in the small cupboard underneath it.
“I’m trying to pee here.”
“Then pee!” She tosses a few empty tampon boxes to the floor and grunts, “I’ve got to leave to meet this guy about a weapons shipment, and it looks as if I’ve been stabbed from the waist down.”
“Seriously, you need to get out.” You huff like a teenager, wishing more than anything that you had a bathroom with a lock that worked. “Seriously, go now!”
“Alright, alright,” she says, holding her hands up in defeat. Tess turns around, her eyes drawn to something on the floor. “What the fuck is that?”
Your heart races as you notice the small stick lying on the floor. Damn it. It had slid out of the box. Tess crosses her arms over her chest, her gaze fixed on the pregnancy test.
Dropping your head into your hands, you sigh, “Don’t, just don’t.”
“Please tell me you’ve got that for someone else,” her voice low and guarded.
You swallow hard, feeling the weight of your secret bearing down on you. You shift uncomfortably under her gaze, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. “I’m late,” you mumble, trying to sound nonchalant. “But it could be from a lack of sleep and stress. This isn’t the first time I’ve been late.”
Your sister lets out a harsh laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. “But you've obviously been screwing someone to even think there is a chance you could be. Fuck.”
You feel a stab of guilt as your sister's words sink in. She's right, of course. You had been screwing someone, but you and Joel both agreed it would make things complicated if other people, including Tess, knew.
“Have you taken it yet?”
“No, I was about to when you came barging in.”
Tess pulls a couple of tampons out of an old makeup bag. “Silver lining if you are knocked up? We don’t need to fight over these anymore.”
—
Putting all your weight on your shoulder, you push the door leading into the next door’s apartment open by slamming into it. Dirt and grime cover the walls, revealing overturned and broken furniture. A layer of thick dust coats everything, indicating that no one has been here for a long time. The windows remain boarded up, and the only light from outside comes from the small cracks in the boards.
“Holy shit.”
As you and Tess both search through the apartment, you can't help but notice the tension building between you. She has been acting strangely for days, and you struggle to understand her feelings towards you, as all you've received, except for a few words, has been silence. Every time you try to make eye contact with her, she looks away quickly and becomes visibly uncomfortable.
“Are we just not going to talk now?”
“So, who’s the father?” When you don’t answer, Tess scowls at you and says, “Jesus, tell me you know who the father is.”
“Of course I do,” you snap defensively. “I’m not some whore who sleeps around, if that’s what you’re trying to imply.”
She gives you the same look your mom gave you as a naughty kid. “I never said you were, but you’re the one who’s put us in this position by being so reckless!”
“We used condoms every time.”
Tess shakes her head while picking knocked-over furniture back up. “Condoms are only ninety-eight percent effective, meaning two people out of a hundred fall pregnant, and of course you are one of them.”
You throw two fusty-looking pillows into a black bag, trying to hold back the tears you feel welling up. “Don’t you think I know that? I—I—I can’t tell him.” You think of the devastation in Joel’s eyes every time he spoke about Sarah; not telling him about the positive test result right away was your own way of protecting him. “I need to get my head straight first. Think clearly before I speak to him about it.”
“Do you have any idea how hard this is going to be?” She asks, sounding more like a disapproving parent than a big sister. “Will the father even step up? Will he just be another Paddy and leave you to raise a child on your own?”
Tess has always looked after you. When you were a teenager, she took you in after your dad found out about your pregnancy and kicked you out of his house. She stayed by your side the whole time your son was sick and would babysit so you could study or work extra shifts. You owed Tess everything, yet a part of you was mad because, despite everything you’d been through, she was still treating you like the teenage girl who appeared on her doorstep, begging for a roof over her head.
“I know it’s going to be hard.” Trying to hide the tears that have fallen, you start throwing more junk that was left behind into the trash bag. After a few moments have passed, you take a deep breath. “I think he will be shocked and in denial at first but will want to be involved.”
The truth was, you had no idea how Joel would feel or react, but the second you saw those two thin little lines appear, you wanted to bury your head in the sand, so you imagined this would rip the floor out from underneath him. Joel was a brutal, hardened man, but yet, you’d still trust him with your life. You weren’t scared of telling Joel because of his reaction; you were just scared of the reality of the situation.
“You know, if you don’t want to have this baby, there are still places that can help you.”
“I just...” you cut yourself off, taking a deep breath. “I need to sleep on it for a few days.”
"I'm not asking you to tell me who your father is so I can judge you. I’m asking you to tell me because I’m your sister; whatever shit goes down, we go through it together.”
“I don’t want you to have another reason to be upset with me.”
“I won’t be angry,” she sighs. “I just don’t want to go around assuming it’s every guy you’ve spoken to. Is it one of the medics?”
“No.”
“It’s not… a soldier?” She asks jokingly.
“I’ve been sleeping with Joel Miller.”
Tess laughs, “No, you haven’t. Because Joel told me he’s—“ Immediately her demeanor changes; she’s seething. “You’ve been seeing him and never told me?”
The flicker of hurt on her face takes you aback. “I’m sorry. It’s complicated; I don’t even—”
Before you can finish your sentence, Tess storms out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.
#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#joel miller/you#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller the last of us#joel miller/reader#joel miller#the last of us hbo#the last of us x you
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[MAJORLY uncoherent anecdotal storytine:]
entertainment value: mild
cw: blood exams (not described in detail), vague mentions to struggles that aren't elaborated on, tmi personal rambling written by someone who is loopy from blood loss aka bad grammar/syntax/morphology/yeah also this got long whoops
im feeling mega loopy cuz blood exam (dundnt faint!! how outstanding of me. iamcurrently instanding. batumtssk!!i lie down now.)
but AT the blood exam a newer nurse stopped by and my usual nurse was like "PIVELLA meet [redacted <- (me. im redacted.)] this kid is a STAPLE in this department bla bla" and wow mom look im famius!! it only took me getting my blood displaced and stared at medically and faintinf a lot very often hshahahaah
the usual nurse is so NICE she's been doing my blood check traslocations since ive been like 15 i think maybe earlier?? idk idk i love her she's so nice and a kickass lady and she bullies all her coworkers and also me a lot!!! bully as in teasing she's nice yeah anyway yeah
me having to get my blood checked often is really inconvenient and kinda sucks!!! because i get koed and fuck if i can do anything for the next 24hs blegh but but BUT this lady has seen my grow up and seenbthe fuck up my life became and is seeing me pick up the peices abd whenever she sees me in the waiting room she shouts "its YOU" very dramatically and the staff has inside jokes about me and my dumv unoptimezed blood stats and thats REALLY NICE SOBS
like i dont wanna make a fable moral out of it like live love kaugh kindess uwu because realistacally, when i was fucked up previously (in the way that was bad compared to how i am fucked up now. funny joke. laugh.) i didn't gove two shits about people being nice to me because i was a massive hater and hated myself most (loser behavior!!!! the world hates you already love yourself out of SPITE!!!!!!!!!!) so people going out of their way to make a horrible situation slightly less horrible for me COMPLETELY went over my head "broom broom autopilot kill crush destroy ourselves!!!" (<- that's what my head looked like.ew there's no whimsy and silly in there, gross!! jk baby me gets the reatroactive love myself treatment bc noone els ecan do that for me!! what was i saying) and yeah i wasn't neurobiologically capable of giving two shits about anything, especially some random nurse going out of her way to crack jokes but idk i appreciated now!!! and she realizes i appreciate it now!!! and it's nothing big or grandiose i guess the world is still turning and nothing in the essential state of things changes bc i did a navelgazey testimony of WOW SOMETIMES THINGS CAN BE OKAY OCASSIONALLY HOLY SHIT?? but also!!! if i don't do it!!!!!!! who will!!???????
aesop would prolly write about foxes and grapes and terracotta pottery and crows and things being okay with time, but ME, a certified "just some guy", is gonna ramble about " it's gonna be okay" semantics because its!! been!! bullshit!! BUT THAT'S OKAY!!!!
shit got SO MUCH worse than what i could've imagined in my catastrophation!!!!!! id wasted my life preparing and planning for all the plans Ds and Gs and Js and Zs because my situation was FUCKED and i didn't have power to fix it, and too bad!!! SHIT HAPPENS AND IT SUCKS!!! time isn't gonna fix SHIT!!!!!! time is just a tracker of when!!! time does no good time does no harm!!!! what time did give my stupid fucking idiot idiot lovely self was time to change!!! not in just "omg change your perspective ✨" (which can be really really really important!! but you shouldn't take anyone's shit just because you see their perspective!!!! no you don't deserve to be treated like shit!!!!!! they don't deserve to get away with treating anyone like shit!!!!! what makes you so special that the world's evil needs to converge upon you?? you're just some guy!! they're just some guy!!! you be nice to you!!)
time is just there!! what does get okay with time is being!!! your enemy is no longer gonna cause you stress once you outlive them!!! you can be better than your yesterday self at any time!!! life goes on if you fuck up everything and you CAN do whatever you want with the peices!!! FAIL!!! FEAR!!! if we're scared we do it scared!!! it's not gonna be okay because its gonna be perfect, it's gonna be okay because it CAN be different!!
im still not """""fixed""""" , im still screwing things up and i still don't really understand what exactly is """""wrong""""" with me and that's okay for now, and hey!! i am capable of having a nice interaction with someone!!!! that's progress.
massive tangent lmao
local tumblr user gets some blood consensually stolen, has a positive interaction with someone, goes home and starts preaching at [unidentified recipient] jesus fucking christ maiora go to sleep this isn't the time for monologues
tl;dr: someone was nice to me just to be nice and im happy because i wouldn't have been able to appreciate it previously and it's nice to see people being nice for the sake of it
im nap now buh bye thanks for reading have a night or day!!!! be nice to you i can't do that for you!!! /lh
<3
#incoherent#absolutely incoherent#shut up maiora#shut the FUCK up maiora#affectionate#ramble#anecdote anthology#illbregret posting this but also itd be funny to have my rambles out there and people can read my woozy rambles at my funeral/pos#like if it stays in my brain noone can see it. if i get it out my brain it's a sign i existed in whatever capacity and idk that's fun#not that im dying anytime soon#what's death gonna do?? stop me???? pathetic.#/j#i really need to sleep
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can you please do like enemies to lovers that ends in smut with logan???? the face riding one you posted was SO GOOD. 
a/n at the end
tell me more
pairing: logan howlett x reader
summary: you and logan HATE each other. you are stuck in the void for a few days, and when you get out, it’s too late to go anywhere so you stay at wade’s place with logan. in the spare bedroom. with one bed.
word count: 8k
warnings: smut, rough sex, enemies to lovers, unprotected sex, degradation, switch!logan, mentions of blood and death, dance fighting, wade & his sexual comments
a/n: beware this is not proofread i’m too lazy
nsfw below the cut!
you disliked logan from the moment you met him. the two of you met through wade, your best friend and partner.
meanwhile, wade had a new best friend and partner in logan howlett. normally, jealousy would arise in such a circumstance, but it only created mini-competitions between the two of you.
the three of you were in the void. you were sitting in a chair, painting your toe-nails as you watched logan and wade fight to get their anger out.
you giggled as logan stabbed wade repeatedly with his claws, just sitting back and watching the show.
as you added your clear coat, it went almost completely silent and you looked up to see logan laying on wade, both of them with multiple wounds and covered in blood.
“you guys done yet?”
both boys groaned, making you grin as you fanned your newly painted toes and returned the nail polish to your bag.
a few minutes later, both guys were awake and walking towards you. you three needed a somewhere to stay, and you knew exactly where.
"i know where we can stay. this isn't my first time in the void, and there's a house where some hero's hide from cassandra. we can go there." wade listens to your words while logan just scoffs and rolls his eyes.
"and why are we listening to you?" logan's sassy remark made you roll your eyes.
"because i've been in the void before you dumb fuck. don't question me."
"what did you just call me?" logan growled, stepping toward you as you remained unbothered in your lawn chair.
"you heard me." your tone was sharp and sassy.
wade rolled his eyes before stepping in front of logan, stopping from getting any closer to you.
"guys. knock it off. we're gonna follow her, because she's been here before. got it, dog boy?" wade's nickname made you snicker, another nickname added to your dictionary.
“yeah dog boy.” you add on, earning a glare from wade.
“shut the fuck up, woman.” logan spat, his tone was bitter, and his eyes searched you up and down.
“you wish i would.” you spat right back, scoffing as you looking at your nails on your hand, acting completely unbothered by logan’s insults.
wade grabbed you out of the chair, and grabbed logan’s arm, practically dragging you both before shoving you forward.
before the three of you could even take another step, you saw a hidden figure standing on higher ground. he wore a hood over his head, and as he spoke, and revealed himself, it was johnny storm.
“there’s no time. they’re already almost here.” he points to the distance, physically pointing out the fact that cassandra’s army were already on their way to get you.
you swore under your breath as johnny jumped down, joining the three of you, it was now four against like, 100, and you knew you had no other way out of this but to face cassandra head on.
they all approached you fast, and quickly surrounded you. a man, with long hair and brown teeth, began to speak.
“ooo, she’s gonna love what i have for her.”
wade scoffed. “who is she, exactly?”
you smacked his shoulder earning a pathetic wince, causing logan to roll his eyes by the two of you.
the man ignored wade’s question, and before they even had a chance to fight, each of you were sucked by a magnet, and knocked unconscious.
when you woke up, you tried to move your body but it was restrained, looking up and seeing that you were tightly tied against logan. great.
you were in a moving ball, practically like a wired hamster house. your body was tightly maneuvered against his, breasts pressing against his chest, sighing in defeat as logan watched you struggle. “there’s no getting out of this.” his dark, husky voice made you look up, hating the fact that you couldn’t look anywhere but his eyes.
“i know where we’re going. i’ve been here before.”
johnny raised an eyebrow at that as he was tied up next to you, against wade. “you have? no one has ever escaped cassandra alive?”
you sighed. “well i have.”
logan rolled his eyes, hating that the attention was on you. “well aren’t you just the greatest. you escaped a bald bitch, boo fucking who.”
logan’s comment caused your knee to come up in between his legs and hit him in the dick, watching his face contort into pain, making you giggle.
after what felt like the longest ride ever, you arrived to cassandra’s lair, watching as she stepped out and observed the small group.
she untied everyone eventually, examining each person. when she walked up to you, she put her hands behind her back, giving you a smile.
“miss princess. lovely seeing you here again. you’ve escaped me once and it will take a lot for that to happen again.” her words made you swallow, a little frightened but not letting it show, so you held your ground against her.
“you don’t have to worry cass, it’ll happen again. i’m sure of it.” her eyes brighten at the nickname, giggling as she walked over to johnny storm.
it didn’t take long for her to release you as alioth slowly lowers from the sky, hungry for his next meal.
you quickly run over to a weird jet pack thing, watching as both boys follow you, johnny staying behind.
the three of you flew away on the magical item, you shouted quickly, “take us west! that’s where the house is!” she shouts to wade who is somehow controlling the thing from the bottom.
when you arrived at the house, you saw the others, as in the former x-men, which were all very familiar with you.
they greeted you, and you introduced them to the boys.
“this my friend wade! and this… is logan.” you say your excitement wandering off as you say logan’s name, wanting to purposely annoy him.
logan rolled his eyes and introduced himself to everybody sense you didn’t do it for him. the others noticed the frustrating tension between you and logan, most saw it as hatred, but gambit saw right through the both of you.
as everyone started to mingle, gambit approached you and introduced himself, his speed of speaking somehow easy for your brain to comprehend.
“you know, you and that logan guy would be one hot couple.” you almost choked on your spit, turning to him with your eyes wide.
“me… and logan…? like as in dog boy logan? like as in i fight people with claws like a furry, logan?” your comment made gambit chuckle, he nodded his head.
“yes, furry logan. it always startz as enemies, i tink you and him would really get along if you actully chose to.”
you rolled your eyes, “i’m gonna have to disagree with you on that one, mr gambit. i hate that man with a passion.”
he just shrugged his shoulders, looking around the room before looking over at you. “whatever you say, miss y/n. i may just see somefin you don’t.”
about an hour later, the group was all gathered around the table, trying to figure out a plan to capture and kill cassandra.
“okay. cassandra has her big army of dick-riders, so we have to find someway to distract/kill them without the others getting suspicious.” wade says, obviously opening the conversation for ideas.
“maybe we just go head first and attack them all?” electra suggests, which is a good idea, but someone would end up getting killed.
wade looks like he has a light bulb moment, and he turns to you. “remember that one time when we fought off those guys behind the bar in new york, and you did your little dance fighting thing, slowly killing them without the others knowing because you seduced them first,” wade said, sparking memory in your head. everyone else looked confused, while logan looked completely against the idea already.
“yes, how could i forget? that night started my tradition of dance fighting.”
wade smirks, “what if we use that in this? you seduce and fight the guards while we sneak in. i went by earlier and saw the army only comes out when it’s a group, so if it’s just you, seducing the guards, they won’t question a thing.”
wade’s idea makes your face lighten up, loving the idea of being the center of attention. “and how do we know this will work?” logan’s voice is obviously unamused.
“it’s never failed.” you spoke, shooting him a smirk before turning back to wade.
“yeah. let’s do it. i’ll walk up, distract the guard while you guys go through the back and sneak in, just give me a signal when you finally kill that bald bitch, because sway my hips for so long.”
your comment causes the other to laugh, except for logan, as usual. he just huffs, already not liking the idea.
you’re outside the house, everyone getting into the car, no seats for you and logan. “can you guys just sit in the trunk?”
you shoot him a look, knowing it won’t end well.
“out of all two people to out in the trunk, you should be smart enough to know him and i are the worst ones possible.”
logan scowled in agreement, if scowling in agreement was even possible.
wade just shrugged, telling you guys to suck it up and just get in the back, because we were only driving a few minutes.
you rolled your eyes, opening the back and getting in.
logan watched you with narrowed eyes, rolling his eyes before plopping in the trunk. he closed it behind him, and once it was closed, he scooted as far away as possible from you.
you scoffed and roll your eyes, “i don’t bite, ya know.” your words made him chuckle.
“you seem like you would with all those snarky comments you make.” his words make your mouth fall open, slightly offended.
“are you calling me a fucking ankle-biter?”
“yes.”
logan’s quick yes added to your loss for words, unable to form a sentence as you just sat there with your mouth open.
logan chuckled, but realized he was chuckling and stopped himself, quickly looking out the back window, trying to hide the fact he almost got comfortable around you.
when you guys finally arrived, wade got out and hit the button on the trunk.
logan got out abnormally fast, making wade laugh. you got out, grabbing your suit.
when you got you, wade closed the back and got back in the car, driving away and leaving you there.
you ran to the nearest room, changed into your suit, then stared walking toward cassandra's lair.
wade was parking on the side, his car hidden as he watched you slowly walk up to the group, boombox in hand.
wade pressed play on his phone, the song 'murder on the dancefloor' starting to blast on the boombox, drawing attention to you as you slowly walked up to the guards.
you set the boombox down onto the ground, walking up to the first guard, smiling at him as you placed both your hands on his shoulders, swaying your hips.
you slowly swayed down his body, hands roaming all over him. he was clearly into it, and that's what made it even better for you.
you slowly brought him to the side, pretending to kiss him, knocking him unconscious.
you slowly knocked down each guard with your moves and hands, seducing them then knocking them out.
you left them all in a pile, on top of each other, on the side of cassandra's lair.
when you were done, you walked over to the car, knocking on the window, as wade rolls it down.
"haven't seen you in your suit doing your thing for a few years! that was perfect!" wade exclaimed, getting out of the car.
you smiled, noticing how quite logan was from the trunk.
"you have about 30 minutes to get your asses in there before all the guards wake up." is all you say, earning a nod from wade and the rest of the group.
"yes ma'am." wade says, only half joking.
you nod as everyone gets out of the car, you push the button in the back so logan is able to do that.
logan huffs as he finally gets out. "i didn't need your help."
you could tell something was up. something different.
you roll your eyes, “oh, my bad mr. tough guy.” logan let out a scowl, and you watch his body shivered. you were unsure whether it was from anger or something else.
“you just love to push my buttons, don’t you.” his raspy, low voice caused you to turn your head, noticing the fact that he was actually pissed off by you. it made you want to annoy him more. you’d been grating on his nerves for this whole mission, and it barely even started.
“yes. that’s my job, dog boy, keep you on your toes.”
as much as you may despise logan, you have to grant it to him, he knows what he's doing, and he's admirable with it. this time, his voice is tired, not annoyed.
which makes you hold back a giggle. you’re tiring him. that’s something you find cute. “whatever woman, just shut up.”
and you do. you figure you can always annoy him more later, but right now there’s grater matters to deal with.
you hop back into the car, going into the front and making yourself comfortable as the others go to fight. your part was done and now you were more than happy to take the time you could to relax.
later that day, the mission was over with, and it didn't go as planned.
"i did all that ass shaking for nothing?" your words cause the group to have a collective laugh, except for logan, per usual.
"you'll live." his comment sends a shot through your heart, which you show, pretending to faint and holding your heart with your right hand.
"no.. i won't," you say, in stuttered breaths. wade just rolled his eyes at how dramatic you were, but the others seemed to love your jokes.
"will you quit that, you dramatic dingo?" wade's words snd nickname cause you to stop, bursting out into laughter with the rest of the team. except again for the usual exception, logan.
after everyone calms down it's settled that you, wade and logan were going to go through the portal, while the others stayed behind and you got them out later.
you arrived once again at cassandra's lair. yesterday you had captured her and she offered to let you guys to the real world, however, with a price. that woman never gave out things for free. there was some kind of catch and you knew that, but chose to ignore it for the time being, more ready to go back home to your regular universe.
it was just before dark, and as you walked into the lair, cassandra was sat in her chair, she turned to face you as you walked up the ramp. "hello boys, and y/n. welcome back. are you finally set for our trade?"
the three of you nodded, wade stepped forward. "yes we're ready miss death giver. please send us home." his words were so unserious, yet spoken in a serious tone and it almost made it seem serious. even logan almost chuckled.
cassandra opened the portal, watching carefully as the three of you walked through. you made it through, feeling as if you were falling to your death.
as you were falling from the sky, you turned to see logan, next to you, also falling, questionably close to you. he still managed to have his signature grumpiness as he was practically falling to his death, and he rolled his eyes and held a hand out to you, which caused your eyebrow to raise.
was he being... thoughtful toward you? that's a fucking first.
you accepted his hand, the two of you falling together onto a tree, groaning as the pain was still present. you heard some kind of click in the sky and slowly watched wade fall, landing on a poison ivy garden. you chuckled, then turned to logan, seeing his eyes still shut, his breath huffing and puffing. you then looked down, noticing that your hands were still holding each other.
you started to panic and let go, watching his eyes open slowly and his breathing start to slow down. "what, didn't want to hold my hand?" his snarky comment caused you to roll your eyes.
"no. you'll live." you say, using his comment from earlier.
he bares his teeth as a way of holding back another mean comment, watching as you slowly got up, starting to make your way over to wade, leaving his limp body there, by himself.
finally, the three of you make it back to wade's home. it was practically midnight and all the three of you were extremely drained after the day you had.
"you guys can stay here for the night with me, i have a spare bedroom and a couch." wade's words made you perk up, but logan beat you to it before you could say anything.
"you can take the couch. you're small enough to fit on it." you clench your jaw at logan's comment, sighing as wade shakes his head.
“not in my house, logan. as much as i love you mr. mutt, miss twerkalator over here gets the bed. unless you two want to share it."
logan looks at you, eyeing you up and down before shaking his head. "i'll take the couch."
you two walk into the room, and logan's eyes widen at the king sized bed.
he turns to you, his face obviously fighting back a decision. "we can share it. if that's okay with you. i propose a pillow wall."
you shook your head and giggled. "fine logan. only if there's a pillow wall. i want the right side though."
with a roll of his eyes, he sets his stuff down on the left side, you go out to say goodnight to wade, who must've changed into sweatpants and a hoodie cause he's no longer in his suit.
when you walk out, he's is wiggling his eyebrows at you. "you two have fun sharing that bed, okay? if you decide to fuck, let me know so i can come watch."
his words make you physically cringe, watching as his face is purely serious. this man was not joking. you roll your eyes, "there will be no fucking on your spare bed, wade. especially not with him." your cold words make wade shake his head.
"whatever you say, princess. if i hear moaning i'll assume it's the neighbors."
his final comment makes you flip him off as you walk back into the room, he blows you a kiss before you shut the door behind you.
logan is in the bathroom, then he walks out. "there's a shower in here. just letting you know. i'm gonna take one first, you can go after me if you need to." his tone seems calmer, but you assumed it was only because of his tiredness.
you nodded, just accepting the fact he was showering first and sitting yourself on the floor, grabbing your phone.
you didn't want to get the bed dirty, especially with your suit. so you just picked out your clothes, and waited for logan to be finished with his shower.
another quite twenty minutes and the bathroom door swung open.
he walks out, a plain white towel hanging low around his hips, his chest hair carrying small water droplets, a few dropping to the floor as he walked. his body is sculpted and wonderfully chiseled. his chest was defined, along with his abs, his veins evident, and his abs defined. there was a little trail of hair along his v-line, leading to below the towel. his beard had a few drops of water still left in it, assuming it was damp.
you swallowed, trying to ignore the fact that his body was perfect, setting your clothes onto the bed and rushing yourself into the shower.
you tried to push back the possible thoughts of him looking delicious, and decided to just brush them off in your shower. but as you stepped in, it got worse.
the warm water hit your cold skin, almost like a reverse burn, but a good burn. it felt nice on your timid skin, you used this as a way to try and ignore the feeling you just had when you saw logan shirtless.
as much as you hated him, you couldn’t deny it. he was fucking hot. and his body was even hotter.
you physically shook off the thoughts as you noticed a face wash in the shower. wade and his skincare. you grabbed it and used it, aggressively washing your face from all the dirty thoughts you just had and then washing your body, your hair, adding conditioner, then stepping out of the shower.
you dry of your body, deciding to do the same thing he did. you walked out, your breasts pushed up on the towel as you held it, grabbing your clothes off the bed, then walking back into the bathroom to change.
as you shut the door, you caught a glimpse of logan staring at your body and when he quickly looked away, you knew you had got him.
you got yourself changed, throwing your hair into one of wade’s bright pink towels and going to sit on the bed. you were sat awkwardly on one side, while logan was sat awkwardly on the other.
you grabbed your phone, trying to drown out the awkward silence through your instagram feed, but it wasn’t cutting it.
logan wasn’t even trying to deny the awkward silence, he just stood there, letting his thoughts overload his brain.
he huffed, before grabbing the towel by his bed, placing it onto his pillow and setting his head down. “i’m gonna go to sleep. don’t wake me up.”
his harsh words make you want to laugh, remembering the scared look he had on his face when you caught him staring form just minutes ago, but you decided to let him rest and leave him be for the night.
he quickly fell asleep, beginning to snore, which made you laugh, but you quickly got tired yourself and set the phone down, plugging it in and falling asleep yourself.
you slept for a few hours, before you woke up, your mouth incredibly dry and in need of some water.
you slowly got up, trying not to knock over the pillow wall as you did so, you slowly opened and shut the door behind you, trying to refrain from any noise. you walked out to the kitchen, grabbing a glass from wade’s cupboard and filling it up with his fancy filtered water from the fridge. you took a sip, the cold liquid instantly wetting your throat, easing your cotton mouth.
you started to look at the magnets on wade’s fridge, smiling as you saw multiple pictures, even one of you and him. it was a selfie he stopped to take in the middle of a mission. he was a fucking goofball.
you turned and jumped, seeing logan behind you. he was grabbing a glass for himself. “did i scare you?” he just chuckled at you and got some of the tap water, chugging it. he obviously knew the answer to that and was just asking to piss you off even more.
you rolled your eyes, ignoring his question and getting more to the water from the filter. he rolled his eyes. “filtered water? seriously? now i see why you and wade get along so well. you both are incredibly boujee.” his use of the word boujee practically makes you spit out your water into the sink.
“i never expected that word to be in your dictionary.” you said, honestly, watching as he chuckled, filling up his water and sipping it this time.
“there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” his voice was low and raspy, lower than usual. it was his sleepy voice, you were trying not to let it get it you. didn’t matter what he said. it was the voice that was the problem.
“yeah? like that you snore in your sleep? just found that out a few hours ago.”
logan scoffed, clenching then unclenching his jaw, holding back a roll of his eyes. “yes, i snore. i didn’t even know until my ex-wife told me.”
the mention of his ex-wife made the room go silent, with the exception of the faucet dropping a few times.
his comment just reminded you of how much older he was than you. you decided to not let it be awkward by keeping the conversation going.
“ex-wife huh? how many of those have you had?” your snark comment making his eyes actually roll this time.
he could hear the teasing nature in your voice and didn’t take it the wrong way, but was still acting annoyed, because he always tried to be with you.
“i’m not answering that question.” his response made you giggle. you just smiled to him, deciding to tease him a bit.
“you gonna make me guess?”
with a roll of his eyes he set his glass into the sink, and you didn’t realize his body was slowly getting closer to yours.
“don’t guess. cause i won’t tell you.”
you hid back a smile, looking up at him. “you know, i caught you staring earlier.” your blunt comment made all his attention go on you, eyes searching you up and down for any sign of discomfort at the thought of him staring at your body.
“i was not staring.” his voice was still low and husky, making your stomach get butterflies. you watched to stop them but you couldn’t help it. logan was towering over you and all you could do was look up at him.
he body moved closer to you as you said your next comment. “you definitely were. i saw it with my own two eyes.”
your comment must’ve struck a nerve in him, because his body was now fully pressed up against you, one hand on your hip while the other rested on the fridge above your head. you were unsure of what to do, he practically had you pinned to the fridge.
“i said, i wasn’t staring, doll. what part of that don’t you get?” he spoke slower this time, eyes daggering into yours, making your heart flutter.
“okay. you weren’t staring.” your words make him smile a bit.
“that’s right.” his voice was taunting almost, and it made you shiver. he stared down at you, and as he separated himself from you, you noticed, a bulge in his pants. you giggled to yourself as he walked back into the room. leaving you there, with your many ideas in your head of how the rest of the night could go.
you take a deep breath, composing yourself before walking back into the room. you laid down on your side of the pillow wall, staring at the ceiling. little did you know he was doing the same.
you took a deep breath before you said your next sentence. “you know, it’s okay to get a boner. it’s normal.”
your comforting yet embarrassing words caused his cheeks to flush. your words made him realize you noticed his bulge, and he huffed before throwing each of the four pillows in the pillow wall onto the floor.
“what did you just say?”
you tried to hide back your amused giggle. “you heard me and you know it.”
your eyes glared into his, watching his face as his jaw clenched. he knew he’d been caught.
“i said, it’s okay to have a boner. i know you’re hard because of our interaction. and because of seeing me in nothing but a towel. you don’t have to hide your attraction for me, logan. i’m not stupid. i know it’s there.”
your words cause a battle within him internally. there’s no denying that your words sent a shiver down his body. frankly, he wouldn't be surprised if a wet patch appeared in his pants.
he tries to think of something snarky to respond with, wanting to ignore the aroused feeling he had, not wanting you to have the slightest hint about how he was feeling.
you decided to speak again before he could, "in fact, i'm sure it's getting worse the more i speak-" you don't have time to finish your surly sentence before he's right there, his hot breath fanning your face from above, his forearms on either side of your head, trapping you in.
"you know what? yeah. you're the reason why i'm hard. doing your fucking dance fighting. i had to hide how hard i was. watching you kill those guys so effortlessly, and looking sexy while you did it. and, god you walking around here in nothing but a towel, last night where you worse the littlest shorts that barely even cover your ass. that's what made me hard. god, and i've been trying to hide it for so long but it just seems like i'm affecting you too."
he growls, his face falling to your neck, the intersection of your shoulder, his lips just brushing the flesh before inhaling deeply; almost animalistic.
you smile, looking up at him, getting another idea. you bat your eyelashes and take his hand, knocking him to his side as he's forced to lay next to you. “lo, you do affect me, so bad," you take his hand and lead it down to your core, pressing his hand to your clothed pussy. "right here. you feel that? feel how wet i am? it's all cause of you."
you watch as his mouth falls open and his pants tighten, seeing his dick twitch in his sweatpants. he's at a loss for words. he was expecting you to submit to him, but the way you didn't sent shivers down his spine.
"yeah? i did that?" his mouth now forms to a smirk, looking over at you, down to your lips and up to your eyes.
"yes you did. and i've been aching, waiting for you to come help me out." you watch as his head falls back, a puff of air falling from his mouth.
"fuck, stop talking." his command only eggs you on. you being the little menace you are, continue with your teasing.
"need you so bad logan. so bad right here. she's been aching. calling for you. god, she's so tight and needs something to stretch her out, think you can do that? i bet you’re so big, could stretch her out real good.”
you watch as his body shakes, and you notice a wet patch on his sweatpants, realizing the fact that he just came, just from the words you were saying and the slight touch of your clothed pussy.
"you must've been waiting for this huh? already came in your pants. naughty boy."
logan doesn't let you get another word, because his lips press to yours. after so much waiting, the tension was finally being released through a kiss.
the two of you continue your messy kiss, and it doesn't take long for his hands to stray, his palms skimming down your hot flesh, and leaving goose bumps in his wake.
“fucking hell, woman,” he whines, getting on top of you again, kissing your lips. "you're gonna look so much better when I mark you up, every inch of you. you already look like you’re mine."
his words made you moan, tugging at your shirt, signaling for you to take it off, which you do, you throw it over your head and across the room. leaving you in nothing but your soaked panties.
“god, so fucking pretty. you know how hard it was for me not to do this to you earlier on? you know how long i’ve been fucking waiting?” his harsh words make your body tremble. he slowly kissed your breasts.
his tongue swirled across your left nipple, sucking on it, eyes up on you, watching your face, watching it contort into pleasure because of him.
he kisses and gives love to the other breast, sucking on it as his hands slowly roam your body, overstimulating you with his touch.
he slowly descends while pulling at the waist of your panties. it appears like that's when he realizes it, pulling away from you, breathing heavily, his beard tingling your hip bones.
his desperate eyes look up at you, searching your face for any regret to which he found none.
he takes off your panties, shoving them in his pocket. "i'm gonna keep these."
his words make you moan again. you look down and he has a devilish grin on his face, both his arms wrapping around your legs, nibbling on your thighs before starting to devour as if he's starving and you're his last meal.
his tongue immediately fucks into your hole, eyes never leaving your face as he works his magic. his nose rubs against your clit, moaning the more he gets into it.
he was being so messy, and it was making you wetter, which then continued to make the situation even messier.
his facial hair caresses your swelling pearl as he eats you whole, without any hesitation—to him, you are a complete feast.
the most exquisite sight you have ever seen is his tongue in your pussy as he gives you sloppy kisses.
you can only watch, gripping his hair and running your fingers through his dark locks, yanking for some semblance of stability, something to keep you bound to this world because the pleasure you feel is unfathomable.
"fuck, logan that feels amazing?" your words only edge him on, watching as his silly smirk turns to a devilish grin.
"does it baby? tell me more." his voice is still low and husky, and he grips your thighs tighter, noticing your body shaking.
but you're so close, perched precariously on the brink of something amazing, something profound, something cosmic. you are crying as he gets closer and closer to you, enjoying every taste of his tongue in your cave and every nuzzle of his nose to your extremely sensitive spot.
"i'm so close." is all you are able to say, feeling a bit embarrassed at the fact the man you once despised was now between your legs, making you yell for him.
"yeah? come on doll, i'll take you there." his words mixed with his stimulations on your clit and fucking of your hole finally bring you to the edge.
your body trembles and shakes as he makes you cum for the first time of the night, you drench his face in your juices, loving how intimate he was with his way pleasuring you.
"good fucking girl." his words combined with his look turns you back on instantly, sending shivers down to your core as you finally come down from your high.
he comes up, you place both hands on either sides of his face, his soaked beard tickling your fingers. "you're gonna ruin me, aren't you?"
his smile only grows, as he begins to lower his sweatpants, "i'm gonna make it so no other man is able to top what i do to you tonight."
his words make you moan, he presses a kiss to your forehead before letting his dick free, you watched as the precum dripped onto your stomach, trying to ignore how hot it was. god, even his dick was hairy. but today was the day you finally decided to admit that you loved every fucking hair on his body.
he slowly aligned with your aching pussy, which is practically waiting just to suck him in. he slowly pushes in, earning a moan to fall from his soaked lips.
you hiss, but as he stretches you, the minor pain only makes you want to absorb him completely more. your ass reaches his thighs, causing you to realize that he's now balls deep in you.
he mutters, "fucking hell," letting out the most agonizing sigh yet.
his movements begin slowly as you becomes accustomed to his immense girth filling you up to the brim.
even the smallest movement causes your walls to become tense around the ridges of his dick, grinding against you so strongly. with each rock, his breathing gets deeper, his eager pants and short pleas filling the air as he picks up tempo.
he moves faster, eyes gazing into yours, he pulls his hand up and places it on your stomach, pressing down knowing it would increase the pleasure for you.
“tell me baby, talk to me. how does it feel?” he already knew the answer to that, but he absolutely loved the thought of you beneath him, trembling under of his manipulation.
“so fucking good.” your harsh words make his dick twitch.
“yeah? tell me more, hon.” your head falls back, hair sprawling onto the pillows as your body shook, feeling overstimulated by his words and thrusts, that were picking up speed, and the fact that you had already came once, and fast. you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.
he looks down at you, letting his hand trail from your stomach to your mouth. “open.”
you watch carefully, eyes never leaving his as his fingers slowly slide into your mouth, moaning as he remains eye contact and watches you suck on them. seeing that makes him imagine how good your tight little mouth would feel around his dick.
“god, you’re gorgeous.” he says, finally admitting it.
all you can do it smile, realizing this is the first time he’s ever genuinely complimented you, and you decided to take it in, and tease him with it. per usual.
“think that’s the first time you’ve ever complimented me. you finally letting yourself see how fucking hot i am?”
your words apparently get to him because he winces. not a sad wince, a pathetic ‘i need to cum’ type wince.
“stop that.” his voice is harsh, a bit whiny, as he continues to thrust into you, both hand now on your hips as he hovers above you, his tip hitting your cervix, stretching you out just for him.
"stop what, logan? you don't like hearing about how we could've fucked so much earlier, if you just quit the fucking act and admitted how horny i made you?" your dirty talk was working on him and you were loving it.
the man was whimpering, his hips starting to stutter, as he pounded into you, wanting to make you cum before he did.
"if you keep talking like that i'm gonna cum, y/n." you smiled up at him, knowing you were close as well.
your tired eyes batted up at him, a small smile forming on your face.
"then cum. do it. fucking cum, i'll cum with you, yeah? filling me up so good, you feel her clenching? that's all from you baby, you got me this hot and bothered, now make me fucking cum." your words flipped a switch in him.
he started pounding into you, balls slapping repeatedly against your ass as he moved, keeping his same pace but now fucking you harder.
he moaned into your ear, "yeah? i'll make you fucking cum. gonna make you cum so hard the only thing you'll remember is my fucking name," his harsh words and the fact he could go from submissive to dominant so fast made you go over the edge for the final time that night.
you finally came, the continuous pressure in your bundle of nerves, the hot white wave of pleasure sends you hurtling through the sky and to heaven in an instant, leaving you in a state of unrestrained bliss that you cannot predict.
your body is electrified from head to toe. somewhere in the mix of your earth-shattering orgasm logan came as well, the sight of you in such state making him reach his peak, filling your walls with his hot sticky cum.
you both sat there for a second, catching your breath, and suddenly you looked down to see logan’s hot cum gushing out of you and onto the bedsheets, the sight becoming to hot to handle, as you both moaned in unison.
he got up and went to the bathroom, getting a rag from the cupboard and drowning it in hot sink water, ringing it out before walking over to you and cleaning you up.
his tongue licked up some of the mixed cum, and you watched with big eyes, feeling even more aroused at the sight.
he used the rag to get the rest and wipe off his beard from your juices.
he threw the rag into the hamper, climbing into bed next to you again, this time a lot closer and with no pillow wall.
instead, you rested in his arms, smiling up at him, as the two of you finally fell asleep.
the next morning, you and logan lay for a bit before you throw on one of his shirts and some of your shorts and walk out to the kitchen, seeing wade sitting at this dining table with his fake glasses on, drinking a cup of coffee in his ‘love yourself’ mug.
he eyes the both of you as you walk out, taking note of the outfit changes.
he smiled. “morning sunshine’s. how’d the night go? did you guys hear my neighbors downstairs at all? sounded like they were getting it on, the guy was moaning and groaning, must’ve been havin’ a grand ole’ time,” wade says, doing the thrust motion with his arms up causing logan’s face to turn a bit pink, making you laugh loudly.
he came up to you, hands around your waist and lips near your ear.
“try to walk in a straight line, sweetheart, then we’ll see who’s laughing.”
a/n: SURPRISEEEE hiii guys! this is what i have been working on all day! i wanted to spoil you with more then just a drabble while i had motivation. MWAH I HOPE U ENJOYED!
#logan howlett smut#velvrei#logan howlett#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#trending#smut imagine#smut#writing#velvrei smut#deadpool and wolverine smut#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine smut#wolverine
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GUILTY AS SIN | JK
"You are stuck in time, and Jungkook doesn't stop running from it until he eventually does, and you learn that grief doesn’t wait for death, that love isn't all that dignifying."
→ Pairing brother in law!Jungkook × widowed fem!reader
→ Genre forbidden love! au, childhood friends to lovers, angst, smut
→ W.C 17. 32k
→ Warnings unrequited love :(, oc is in love with his older brother, early character death of the said older brother who is haunting the narrative, cute childhood sweethearts who are doomed by me, mentions of dealing with grief and acceptance, mention of cancer, a minor scene where harassment is attempted,emotionally troubled! oc, emotionally troubled and detached! jk, simp jk, pathetic man in love, he's so so lovesick, ceo! jk, protective jk, yearning, pining, loads of angst, fluff if you squint, breif yoongi mention, namjin yay!!,rich people party, mentions of anxiety,sexual tension,slow burnish,smut (omg everyone look away), kissing, unprotected sex (raw and deep, next question),dirty talking, oc is insecure,hickies,oral (f! Receiving), he cums in his pants,big dick jk, soft Dom Jungkook, fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, praise, cuddles if you squint again
→ Playlist Guilty as sin, control, killing me softly with his song, do I wanna know?
→ A/N the idea of this one shot came to me at 1 am when I was supposed to be studying for a test that probably my future depends upon and after much much complementing I'm finally posting it. To me, its very experimental and I was just trying to explore my writing style and writing things that I haven't before, like smut 🫠 so please please bear that in mind!! I hope you enjoy reading and if you did please comment!! It makes my whole day 🥰💕💕
P.S: cross posted on wattpad.
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It is a believed fact that it takes three to four short months to fall in love.
For you, it took one summer. The summer spent watching him sketch galaxies in the dirt with a twig, summer spent learning the way his laughter sounded after stealing popsicles from the freezer, summer spent holding his hand as they made paper planes under the blazing sun. It was the kind of love that grew roots so deep, you couldn’t separate where he ended and you began.
That summer, you met Minho. The boy next door with a mind as wild as his curls and a heart so warm it seemed to shine blindingly bright. He showed you how to climb trees, told stories he'd crafted all by himself, convincing you that the universe could be held in the palm of your hand. He shared his world with you, and you fell in love with it.
You kissed his cheek on the porch of your house one late July evening, bold and brimming with the kind of confidence only childhood summers could bring. “Now you’re gonna have to marry me, Min Min,” you teased, hands behind your back, your toes curling against the wooden floorboards.
He blushed, a shade of red that rivaled the setting sun, but his grin mirrored yours.
The porch of your house was a witness to many things. Your first steps, held your first scraped knees, your first dog and Minho's new brother; your new friend.
A boy of your age, younger than Minho had appeared from right behind him, his hands clutching onto Minho's flannel, his watchful eyes going everywhere all at once. The kind of boy who never spoke unless he had to, the kind who was more familiar with loss than comfort, lingering on the edges of things, unsure if he belonged.
Jungkook.
Now, Jeon Jungkook.
You and his brother had taken it upon themselves to bring him into your fold, turning your duo into a trio. With time, he laughed with you both, trusted you both, became one of you both.
The three of you were inseparable— in the backyard of your house, in elementary school, in high school. How could you not be? You had tied the promise in the form of handmade friendship bracelets around the wrist of both boys.
Even though what you wanted with minho was far from friendship. A bold dreamer, you always have been. But not so much when you turned sixteen. Sixteen; what a awkward age.
An age of overthinking haircuts, dreams, and the lives your peers are gonna live all at once. Visits to the school councilor are doubled. Relationships happen; Friends part.
But you only grew closer with Jungkook. He didn’t seemed interested in making a move on the timid, short haired girl who passed him notes in chemistry class, neither did he talk much about the future. When you asked him what he wanted to do, he’d shrug and say something like, “Whatever makes sense at the time.” He wasn’t aimless, exactly—just grounded in a way that made you think he didn’t feel the need to plan everything out.
Minho, though, was spiraling.
He now spent more time with the councilor that he spent with you both. Had this bitter look on his face every morning you saw him on the bus stop that will have you sharing a knowing look with Jungkook—Minho had been having a lot of fights with his dad, had been overthinking a lot more because the world seemed so much bigger than he had imagined.
Maybe for the eldest son and heir to a family that ran a company as old as the town itself, the world really was big. But to you, he was just a hopeful boy with all the colors in his eyes. The colors that you loved. The colors that didn't belong in a office, crunching numbers.
Your heart ached for him, but you didn’t know what to say. At sixteen, nobody has the answers.
Seventeen is a different story. It's a starlight dream. It's you acing the college entrance test. It's Minho surfacing back. It's Minho kissing you on that very same porch, promising, “One day, we’ll have our own porch, and I’ll kiss you there every day.”
And he was one to keep his promises.
You married him at twenty-five, in crisp autumn. To your family and friends, it was "About time." To you, it was nothing short of a dream as you walked to promise forever to the man you love, a vision in white. It was nothing big, just a dreamy intimate affair with soft twinkling string lights. Something you both agreed on. Because you were content with what you had, overjoyed actually after picking out a quite cozy apartment for the both of you and landing a job as a humanities professor in a university that wasn't too far from the said apartment. Minho was too and while things weren't the same with his father now, he did what he loved. Ever the artist at heart.
It was like everything you ever wrote in your middle school diary, everything you wished for was now laid under your feet like a carpet unfolding.
You were given a good time before it started pulling away from your feet.
At first, it was subtle. A missed dinner here, a canceled hangout there. Then he told you both he’d taken up an opportunity abroad to manage the family business, something Minho had no interest in, just on the night of your wedding after he had fulfilled his role of the groom's best man, watched you walk down the aisle.
You hadn’t seen the decision coming—not that night, not like this—but you couldn’t deny it either. Jungkook had seemed restless here, especially after finishing college.Conversations with him in those days had been brief, distracted, his eyes darting to the distance even as he smiled at you. It felt as you were trying to talk to the Jungkook who had appeared on your porch the first time. He hadn’t asked for understanding, and you hadn’t known how to offer it. His reasons were vague, more like placeholders for something unsaid. And so he left, quietly, with little fanfare, and though Minho seemed sad to see him go, you could tell he understood.
“It’s good for him,” Minho had said. “He deserves something for himself.”
Relationship happened; Friends parted.
You weren't sure if you understood. While you agreed with Minho, you couldn’t help but feel the loss of a friend now that his calls became less frequent until they stopped altogether. One day, he was simply gone, leaving behind only the memory of the boy who had once trusted you with his rare, precious smiles.
"You’d laugh if you saw me right now. I tried to fix the leaky sink in the kitchen, and now the entire floor is flooded. Minho’s being no help—just standing there laughing."
"Hey, stranger. Our anniversary is next weekend. We’re just doing a small dinner. You should come. Seriously, koo, don’t make me guilt-trip you."
"Saved you a slice of cake, but Minho ate it. You’d better show up next year, or I’ll stop saving you anything."
"Hey, Koo. Just checking in. Hope you're healthy and happy. Would love to hear from you"
You'd text him timely, in hopes that he still knows how to use a phone. But apparently, not.
Still, you had Minho. Your husband, your best friend.
Until you didn't.
Until the carpet was at last, snatched right down from your feet.
The diagnosis came in the spring. It started with a faint weakness in his voice. A shortness of breath he dismissed with a wave of his hand. “Just tired,” he’d say, smiling that same easy smile. But tired turned into tests. Tests turned into results. And results turned into a diagnosis that was oh so cruel.
Leukemia. Early stages. Aggressive.
The months that followed were a blur of hospital visits, treatments, and quiet nights where you held him as he cried. You tried to be strong, for him, for both of you. Told him what the doctor in the sterile white office will tell you. "They've caught it early so we're not at a great risk here." You'd reassure him. "You have yet to get away from me, min min." You'd try making him laugh but he had always been better at that.
Now, suddenly he wasn't. The next two years, your life was just the slow, agonizing process of watching the man you loved fade away, losing every bit of his lively soul to the cancer, holding his hand when he was too weak to hold yours back.
Perhaps it wasn't only Minho who was chipping away. It was you too.
You turned into the woman who knew exactly how to track medication schedules, who could list every side effect of his treatment in order of severity, who spoke with doctors as if reciting a memorized script. You learned how to bite back the frustration when he snapped at you because he was in pain, and how to smile when all you wanted was to scream at the unfairness of it all.
You started to measure time not in days or months but in cycles of chemotherapy, in percentages of remission and relapse. Life was divided into hours spent in sterile hospital rooms, waiting for results that were never as hopeful as you needed them to be, and hours spent at home trying to pretend those results didn’t exist.
You had stopped dreaming. And minho had stopped painting.
Grief doesn’t wait for death— or so you've realized as you often found yourself grieving the life you had built together, the one you knew would never be the same. You grieved the sound of his laugh, which became quieter as the months passed. You grieved the way he used to tease you about your love for terrible reality shows, You grieved the mornings spent tangled together, talking about everything and nothing.
By the time the end came, you had already lost so much of him that you thought you might be prepared.
You weren’t.
And then he was gone.
With an, "I'm sorry. I love you." He was gone.
The house was too quiet without him, the days too long. You withdrew, not just from the world but from yourself, letting grief shape the edges of your existence.
The world moved on, even if you didn’t. They tell you how long it takes to fall in love but not how long it takes to get over it.
2 years, 240 days. And you're still counting.
Time passed in pieces—fractured and unrelenting.
Your family, Minho’s family, even well-meaning friends—none of them knew what to do with the mess you’d become, so they did what people often did. They tried to fix it. To fix you.
Blind dates were their answer, little nudges toward what they called healing. The word had been said so many times it began to lose its meaning. Healing. As if it were something—a destination you could stumble upon.
You didn’t have the energy to argue anymore, so you let them dress you up, hand you phone numbers, and convince you that this—whatever this was—was what you needed.
But your heart wasn’t in it.
Because as the man sat in front of you in the dimly lit bar continued to talk about how his ex couldn't handle his success, the trials of being a man with ambition, you really couldn't even bother to pretend you were interested. He was nice enough—tall, well dressed (consdering the dingy bar) with a confident smile but your thoughts kept drifting, as they often did.
2 years, 240 days since Minho had died.
2 years, 240 days of waking up alone in your bed, his side untouched.
2 years, 240 days of trying to find your way back to the woman you used to be.
“Hey,” the man interrupted your thoughts, leaning forward with an eager grin. “I feel like I’m talking too much. Tell me about yourself. What do you do for fun?”
You forced a smile, your stomach twisting. “I paint. It’s... therapeutic.”
“That’s nice,” he said, reaching across the table to touch your hand. You pulled back instinctively, your stool scraping against the floor. His brows furrowed.
“Sorry,” you muttered. “I just—”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he said, but his tone was tighter now. He leaned back, shrugging as if trying to dismiss the moment. “You know, you should loosen up a little. You’ll never find anyone if you keep acting like you’re still married.”
The words hit you like a slap, your chest tightening as you struggled to process the audacity of his statement. “Excuse me?”
“I’m just saying,” he continued, ignoring the warning in your tone, “you should give people a chance. I mean, you’re here, right?” He smirked and stood, coming around the table. “Let me take you home. We can—”
“Stop,” you said sharply, rising to your feet.
But he didn’t listen. His hand reached for your arm, his grip firm.
Then, just as suddenly as he’d grabbed you, he was gone.
The man stumbled backward, a hand jerking him by the collar. The force was so swift, so unexpected, that it took you a moment to register what had happened.
And then you saw him.
“..Jungkook?” The name caught in your throat as you turned.
You took in the man standing before you, taller and broader than you remembered, the years etched into the sharp lines of his jaw and the set of his shoulders. His dark eyes were fixed on the man who had dared to touch you, glinting coldly.
His voice was low, dangerous. “She said stop. I suggest you listen.”
For a moment, the world tilted.
You weren’t in a dingy bar anymore.
You were standing at the edge of a memory—the first time you’d ever seen Jungkook, the quiet boy who clung to Minho’s shadow.
And the last.
The last time you’d seen him, a looming figure in an ocean of black suits. A barely recognizable shadow among the mourners at your husband's funeral.
Now, standing before you, he was real, tangible—and so was the flood of emotions crashing over you.
It was so loud, you could barely hear as the the man stammered out an excuse, something about a misunderstanding.
“Leave.” Jungkook snapped, his voice sharp enough to cut and bring you back to the moment.
The man hesitated, his mouth opening as though he wanted to argue, but one glance at Jungkook’s expression and he decided against it. Without another word, he turned and stalked out, muttering something under his breath that neither of you caught.
Silence followed.
Only then did you felt his gaze on you. His presence was larger than life, and you were suddenly hyper-aware of how much had changed. How much he had changed. You hadn’t registered that at the funeral. Now, you didn't know what to say, you could hardly manage to look at him. While he wasn't Minho's real brother, didn't share any resemblance with him, it still hurt you, sucked you back into those times when it was the three of you, when it wasn't.
He too didn't reply right away, his gaze searching your face, as though he was also trying to piece together the version of you he remembered with the one standing before him now. When it landed on the arm you were clutching, the arm that dipshit had grabbed, you saw his eyes glint again.
"Did he hurt you?" It sounded more like a demand rather than a question but you couldn't even deciper the words, too focused on how his boyish tone had turned sharper, harder.
"W-What?" You fumble out like a fool.
"Did he hurt you, y/n?" This time, you heard him.
Letting your hand fall, embarrassed, you shook your head, finally managing to utter something sensible out. “No—yeah. I’m fine.”
He glanced back at the door that man had fled from before looking back at you. Finally, he exhaled, his voice low and quiet.
“You weren’t answering your phone.”
You blinked. “My phone?” You don't remember getting a call from anyone but then you realize your battery had died down as you looked down to see your dead device laying flat. "Oh. I didn't realis—"
“Mom said you’d been gone a while. Told me where you were.” He interrupted. There was an edge to his voice now, faint but undeniable.
You feel more embarrassed now that you know it's because of your mother in law's anxious nature that he is here. Your fingers brushed against the strap of your purse, desperate for something to do, something to hold onto as he speaks again. "Are you ready to leave?"
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, the words tumbling out before you could think them through. “I can get a cab.”
His brows furrowed, just slightly, and you noticed for the first time the faint shadows beneath his eyes, the hint of weariness in his expression. “It’s late,” he said simply.
"So?”
“So,” he echoed, his tone calm but unyielding, “I’ll take you.”
You hesitated, your pride and your exhaustion warring within you. Finally, you exhaled out in defeat, reaching for your coat. It's just a thirty minute ride. You reassured yourself. It'll be fine.
The cool night air wrapped around you and so did your coat as you stepped outside, and the streetlights cast long shadows that flickered as you walked toward his car. He opened the passenger door for you, his movements deliberate, and waited for you to slide in before closing it softly behind you.
The drive started in silence.
It wasn’t the silence of old friends, the kind that felt easy and safe. This was different—fraught, taut, like a thread stretched too tight.
You stole a glance at him as he started the engine, too aware of the small space you were packed in with him.
“I didn’t know you were back,” you said finally, your statement sounding more accusatory that you or he would have liked.
“Just for a little while,” he replied, his tone ofcourse, unfazed. “Business.”
Buisness. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at the word. If someone could look like that word, you thought, it'd be the man in the fine tailored suit with eyes fixed on the road ahead and a rolex that didn't look any more cheaper than the car he was driving and you wondered.
Wondered if the lines of his palms—the callouses from late-night basketball games, the way they had felt solid and familiar when he held yours to steady you on the wobbly bike Minho had convinced you to ride—had changed too.
Had they turned forigen, unyielding? Had time eroded their familiarity?
When the car slowed, you glanced out the window, expecting to see the acquinated sight of your apartment building. But instead, the streetlights gave way to a quieter, darker road. You frowned, turning to him.
“This isn’t the way to my place.”
“I know,” he said simply, not bothering to elaborate. "You're coming with me."
You felt your chest tighten, your pulse quickening as unease prickled at the back of your neck. “Jungkook,” you started, the word heavy with protest.
"Y/N." He ends, sparing you a glance that has you sinking back into your seat, arms folded across your chest like a petulant child that you could swear made his lips twitch at the corner, you could swear you saw your old friend who had grown a sassy tounge at the age of fourteen that'd earn smacks at the head from his older brother for a fleeting cruel second there. But that was it. It was gone as fast as it had appeared, summoning the return of the silence that felt like its own living thing.
The house was still the same.
That was the first thing you noticed as the car slowed down in front of the building that loomed at the end of the road like a memory waiting to consume you.
The overhead lights still flickered faintly, casting shadows across the steps where you and Minho had once sat, daring each other to stay outside until the stars disappeared. Even the smell was the same—faintly woody, with the comforting hint of whatever candle Jungkook’s mom always lit in the hallway.
You hesitated in the doorway, the memories rushing in too fast, too loud. It's not like you haven't been here in ages but since the year you celebrated your first marriage anniversary with Minho here, it felt like you have lived a thousand lives.
Lives that haunted you still, made you randomly pause in the grocery aisle and now before this house until you felt Jungkook’s presence press behind you as if silently urging you on.
Clearing your throat, you slipped out of your heels that have been as much as pain as the man you had been on a date with. The floor creaked softly beneath your feet as you stepped inside, the sound jarring. The same hardwood floors, polished to a faint sheen. The same floral wallpaper lining the hallway. The same photo frames arranged along the wall—a collection of childhoods captured and frozen in time.
But as you glanced toward the corner of the living room where the three of you used to pile up pillows and blankets for makeshift forts. The corner was bare now, save for an old armchair, but in your mind, you saw it vividly: Minho’s determined grin as he shuffled the pillows, Jungkook, always following the lead but never quite competing for it. You would snuggle a pillow to your lap, nestled between the two brothers, peeking from behind your fingers and giggling at the the way Minho’s face would light up in triumph when he won another round of rock-paper-scissors.
A type of smugness that came from knowing he’d get to flick Jungkook’s forehead next. But your smile would fade as soon as you would realize that it's your turn next. “Wait, wait!” you’d plead, wide-eyed, deploying the best puppy-dog look you could muster. It was the same look that had, on occasion, earned you extra TV time with your dad. Jungkook would glance at you and chuckle. Relent like your father would and sheild your forehead with his palm that'd have Minho pouting. "Hey! That's not how you do it!"
"Y/N?" A well recognized voice pulled you back to the where you were supposed to be, back from the fort of pillows and blankets.
You turned around and instantly found yourself wrapped up in a tight hug. You managed a small smile, letting your arms wrap around the warm frame of your mother in law, the scent of her jasmine oil and apprehensive energy pulling you in. "Mom." You greeted back.
Mrs Jeon hadn't always been this.. overbearing. Though after the passing of your husband, she had teamed up with your mother and been on a determined mission to make sure you are well and on a road to healing.
The next few minutes, she did what she had been doing best—fussed over you, asking how you’d been, if you’d eaten, if you were warm enough. In that time being, Jungkook had resigned to wherever his room was.
You planned to do the same, especially now that you could see on her face how she is on the brink of asking about the disaster tonight. You showed some obvious sign of weariness, in hopes she'd let it go for the night and tell you where you're supposed to go to bed for.
"Third on the left, my dear. And I'm gonna need you to stay for breakfast, okay?" You wondered if stubbornness was a running streak in this family.
Hours later, sleep had yet to come.
You lay awake, staring at the ceiling, counting the faint grooves in the plaster as if they could somehow lull you into rest. The trick didn't work. It hadn’t worked in your own apartment either—the one you and Minho had picked out together, picked the colors of the walls together, and argued over where the bookshelf should be. Yet, it was still your space. You could control how you faced the memories there, pacing them, deciding when and how to confront them.
There, at least, you’d managed four or five hours of sleep on a good night. Here? In this house that held so much of him, so much of them, you weren’t sure you’d manage even one.
The room you were led to was neat and welcoming, the kind of space that had been carefully prepared for guests. But there was no comfort to be found in the knowledge that two doors down lay Minho’s childhood room, untouched, a shrine to a boy who grew up into the man you loved and lost.
At some point, you gave up.
Sliding out of bed, you wrapped your arms around yourself as you padded quietly downstairs. The house was silent as you made your way downstairs, the faint hum of the refrigerator the only sound, the indistinct glow from the kitchen spilling into the dimness. You didn’t expect to find anyone there, but as you rounded the corner, your steps faltered.
Jungkook stood by the counter, a glass of amber liquid in his hand, his other resting on the marble surface. His jacket was gone, abandoned somewhere, leaving him in his dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
Tattoos.
They sprawled across his skin, intricate designs etched into muscle and sinew, that you didn't think you'd ever see on him.
Perhaps you thought wrong. Perhaps you never knew. Never knew him.
He glanced up, his dark eyes meeting yours that looked just as caught off guard as yours did. For a moment, you didn't feel comfortable moving from your spot until he eventually spoke.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, his voice quiet.
You shook your head, stepping into the kitchen. “Needed some water.” You said and opened a cabinet, finding the glasses exactly where you remembered, and filled one with water.
Behind you, Jungkook leaned against the counter, his presence impossible to ignore. Funny, how he always preferred to blend in the background as a child, now his mere cologne—earthy and warm—demanded attention, filled the room before he had even entered.
“Do you… do you drink often now?” you asked hesitantly, glancing over your shoulder, at the way his fingers curled around the glass, the tattoos on his hand shifting as he tilted it.
“Sometimes.” he said, his tone vague.
If things were anything like before between you two or anything like before at all, maybe you'd have pushed further, asked him if this was growing to be a unhealthy habit.
Now, it didn’t seem right when there was an ocean between you—a chasm of time. Felt intrusive. And you know it would only sound hypocritical from your mouth—talking about unhealthy mechanisms. Hah.
You ended up only nodding and put the washed glass back so you could go back to counting the grooves in the plaster. Resume your restless attempt at sleep.
But Jungkook spoke again.
"How long have you been going on.." He started suddenly, setting his glass down with a quiet clink. His voice was calm, but the muscle in his jaw twitched as he spoke. "These dates?"
You blinked at him, taken aback by the question. "Uh—for a while now, I guess?"
“Are you willing, or are they forcing you?”
The question, the way he asked it—sharp, direct—left you off balance. So did the way he was looking at you now, his eyes no longer holding the casualty as they once did when he had the glass of alcohol in his hand.
“I—” You faltered. “They just want to help. They think it’s time.”
“And what do you want?”
To go back to your room. To ask him what did it even matter to him, after all this time.
But what came out was forthright honesty. “I don’t know,” you admitted, “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
He stepped closer, his feet padding softly against the kitchen floor—a contrast to his rigid frame that now towered just close enough. Close enough to see how his chest rose and fell with every breath. Close enough to see how his eyes lingered on you, like he was trying to unravel something he didn’t understand.
“You don’t have to do anything for them or anyone,” he said, his voice soft but no less rough. “Not if you’re not ready.”
You opened your mouth to respond, to deflect, to do something, but his gaze held you in place, tracing down from the dark circles that weighted your eyes to your parted lips. All you could feel was his gaze burning on you and hear your own pulse in your ears.
“Jungkook…” His name escaped your lips in a whisper, barely audible.
He lingered for a beat longer, his eyes searching yours, then he stepped back, his jaw just as tight. “Get some rest.” He clipped out before he turned and walked away, leaving you alone again.
You didn't got any sleep that night.
8:00'o clock. The time's a etched number in your brain ever since you started your job at the university.
It's a routine that needs no alarm clock. It's a number you keep waiting for as you blink at the time passing. And you're more than eager when the morning comes softly along with smaller needle stopping at 8, sunlight slipping through the curtains in streaks too gentle to match the weight in your chest.
With Minho, you were the one to wake up first but here you find that the house was awake before you.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee drifted through the air, mingling with the faint sound of voices coming from the dining room. Breakfast was warm and lively, much like your mother in law. She greeted you with a brightness that almost made you feel guilty for your somber disposition.
“Good morning!” she said with a smile that could have been plucked from a painting. Reaching for a plate of toast, setting it down in front of the empty seat beside her.
“Good morning.” you murmured, sliding into a chair.
Across the table, your father in law sat at his usual spot, his attention fixed on his phone, only looking up to give you a nod of acknowledgment. You had never fully understood him, not as Minho’s father, not as a man.
Perhaps, It had always been because of the sore spot between him and your husband, the way his father disapproved of his wishes—choosing art over business, passion over practicality. You remembered the arguments you thought would never hear after the age of sixteen, the way Minho would come home, his face tight with frustration. “He doesn’t get it,” he’d say. “He never will.” You saw the way it wore on him, the way he carried the weight of his father’s disapproval like it was stitched into his very skin.
Even now, as you sat across from him, you wondered if he ever regretted it—if he ever wished he had spoken softer, loved louder. But his face was as impassive as ever, his thoughts a mystery.
“Jungkook left early this morning,” his mother said, breaking the silence. “Something about a meeting downtown.”
You nodded, relief washing over you in a way that felt almost shameful. You hadn’t realized how much you were dreading seeing him until you knew you wouldn’t have to.
“Busy as always,” you said lightly, reaching for your coffee.
The conversation drifted into familiar topics—neighbors, extended family, stories you half-listened to with polite nods. The table felt both too full and too empty, the gazes of all the people that sat there never straying to the right one in the left corner, just right beside yours.
The older woman turned to you, her tone bright with enthusiasm.
“There’s a party this weekend,” she said, her smile widening. “Just a small gathering with some friends and business partners. It would be lovely if you came with us.”
The suggestion made you squirm uncomfortably in your chair. “Oh, I don’t think—”
“It’ll be good for you,” she interrupted gently, her gaze soft but insistent. “Everyone would love to see you.”
You hesitated, the thought of mingling with people, of putting on a brave face for strangers already making you want to go back to bed. “I’m not sure I’d be good company,” You glanced towards your father in law, half-hoping he might say something to discourage the idea, but he couldn't be any less bothered.
“Nonsense!” she pressed. “You don’t even have to stay long. But it would mean so much to us.”
There was no malice in her persistence, no attempt to guilt you, just a genuine desire to include you in their lives. You couldn’t bear to disappoint her.
“Okay,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll come.”
Her face lit up with a smile. “Wonderful. Jungkook will pick you up and bring you there. That way, you don’t have to worry about driving.”
You froze, cup midway to your mouth. "There's no need for that, mom."
"Oh hush." she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “He’ll be coming from the office, so it’s no trouble.”
You nodded slowly, your appetite not too great or you just wanted to get out of here.
8'30. You glanced at the rose gold wrist watch, your first anniversary gift. Your first class is due in an hour, the perfect excuse wrapped around your wrist which you use to excuse yourself from the suffocating walls that always feel like they are closing in on you.
You have come to prefer the morning buzz of the university more—the hum of young adults chatting in the hallways, the scrape of chairs against tiled floors.It was a rhythm you found comforting, predictable in its own way. Here, you were just a professor, the one who explained history and philosophy with hands that only shook sometimes.
The teenage year you would have thought predictable as boring but you— a woman gone through a dubious sets of events found a fellow feeling in it.
Found the task of grading thesis, making power point presentation better than you would have ever imagined.
But Gods, your students need to realize that they can't dump about their toxic ex in every essay. A woman can only take so much.
You were sorting through the said papers in your office when the door creaked open, and a woman peeked her head in, the light from the outside catching in her curly locks.
“You busy?” she asked, her voice light and familiar.
You looked up to see Mira, the economics professor and one of your closest colleagues, walking toward you with her usual warm smile. Mira was more than just a coworker though—being practically family, the wife of Minho’s dark haired cousin who didn’t talk much in family gatherings, and over the years, she had become a friend you could rely on and share lunch with.
“Not for you,” you said, smiling as you waved her in.
She dropped into the chair across from you, setting her bag on the floor. “You look like you didn’t sleep a wink.”
Was it that obvious?
“I didn’t,” you admitted, sighing softly. “I stayed at the Jeons’ last night.”
Her eyebrows rose, but there was something in her eyes—a softness, an understanding—that made you look away for a second. “How’d that go?”
You hesitated, picking at the edge of a notebook on your desk. “It was… fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Jungkook’s back,” you said, and her eyes widened slightly, the topic seeming to catch her attention.
“Really? I didn’t know he was in town.”
“Neither did I, until yesterday.” You shrugged, leaning back in your chair. “Just for a while, though. Business stuff, y'know?”
Mira tilted her head, a small, knowing smile tugging at her lips. “And how’s that going?”
You frowned, caught off guard by the question. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged, but her eyes stayed on you, curious. “I mean, it’s been years, hasn’t it?"
“Yeah,” you said slowly. "It's fine, I suppose. We didn't talk much."
“Hmm.” Mira hummed thoughtfully as if tasting the question she was gonna ask on her tounge. “Are you okay with him being back?”
Were you okay with him behind back? Okay with him stepping in your vicinity after years of acting like you were not even family, let alone a friend?
“I don’t know,” you admitted finally. “It’s strange seeing him again after all this time. But he’s been… kind. Quiet, mostly.”
Mira didn’t press further, but there was something in her expression that made you uneasy, as if she knew something you didn’t.
You cleared your throat, desperate to change the subject. “There’s a party this weekend. His mom invited me. Please tell me you’re going.”
Mira winced, her smile apologetic. “Date night with the husband. Non-negotiable.”
"Oh." You tried not to show the dejection on your face but it was there. "Lucky you."
She studied you for a moment, her expression gentle. “Are you okay with going?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I feel like I have to.”
“You don’t have to do anything for them. Not if you’re not ready.”
If only he understood how much easier it was to do things for others than to face yourself.
“Y/N…” Her voice softened, and for a moment, she looked like she wanted to say more. Instead, she reached out and squeezed your hand. “You’ll be fine. And if you’re not, you can text me. I’ll make up some excuse to get you out of there.”
You smiled, grateful for her before bidding bye to her for her next class and focusing back on the pending work spread across your desk while simultaneously going through your closet in your mind.
Minho had always said red made the brown of your eyes excel more.
And you have really tried to believe it, looking at yourself from above your shoulder, from the side of your arm in the mirror but perhaps it's not only this red, off shoulder dress that's not doing your eyes justice. It's every color you have once known, once loved.
It's like, it's you that's not doing them justice.
As you stared into the mirror, your eyes flitting from one detail to the next—the slightly uneven tuck of fabric, the exposed skin of your collarbone—it felt wrong.
The little things were missing—his hands fixing the clasp of your necklace, his voice telling you not to overthink it, that you looked beautiful. That it didn’t matter what you wore, because it was you who wore it.
But he wasn’t here.
With a sigh, you adjusted the necklace you had chosen yourself, a simple silver chain that rested delicately against your collarbone. The mirror wasn’t forgiving, but you looked anyway, searching for something familiar in your own reflection. You smoothed your hands over the fabric, told yourself this was just another party, and dodged the doubts of this being a mistake.
The knock at your door came too soon, sharp and punctual, like everything Jungkook had become.
You felt your stomach clench, nerves twisting with something else you couldn’t name. Smoothing your dress one last time, you crossed the small space of your apartment, pausing just before the door.
When you opened it, Jungkook was standing right before you.
He had stood on the edge of cliffs where oceans met skies too, in countless countries at that, walked through streets that droned with history. Scrawled through the wonders of the world—the kind that made poets immortalize them in verse—but nothing—nothing—would ever measure up to this.
To you.
You, standing in the doorway, framed by the soft glow of the hall light, your hair falling in waves that he had memorized long ago.
His chest tightened, the memory of another doorway bleeding into the moment as gaily as if it had just happened. He had been in the room meant for waiting, where your parents had sat moments before, your mother sniffling into a tissue, your father pacing in his polished shoes. Now it had been his turn.
The thought alone of being the second person to see you before you walked away from him for good had made his tie that he had been trying to get the hang off felt too stressed around his neck, his palms clammy despite the air conditioning. He rubbed them on his pants, glancing at the small clock on the mantle every few seconds. The minutes dragged, each one seemed longer than the other.
What would you look like?
The thought ran circles in his mind, only for a creak of the door to startle him back.
Footsteps had echoed in the quiet, minimizing the distance until he could practically feel the nervous energy of a bride bounce against his. "Okay. You can turn around now." He had heard you speak, had seen the skittish smile on your face before he even turned around.
And when he did, he felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room.
The dress hugged you like it had been designed with only you in mind, its soft fabric flowing as if in defiance of gravity. Your veil cascaded behind you, catching the light, and your smile was small, almost shy, as you looked up at him, waiting for his reaction.
“Well?” you prompted, turning slightly, your hands brushing the fabric at your sides. “What do you think?”
What did he think? He thought the universe was wicked for allowing him to witness this and still expect him to let you go.
He had swallowed hard, forcing his voice to steady when he finally said, “You look—” His tongue had faltered over every adjective that came to mind. Beautiful wasn’t enough. Breathtaking felt like a cliché. “Perfect.”
You—Beautiful, Devastatingly, so.
You—who weren’t his to look at this way.
He feels his breath catch, his hands clenching at his sides to keep himself from reaching for you.
Because while that version of you had been a dream, this version—worn, weathered, but still so unmistakably you—was real. And the reality of you had always been what he wanted most.
Fuck. He shouldn’t be here.
He shouldn’t have agreed to pick you up, shouldn’t have stepped into this space, should have kept the distance he had spent years bridging.
But he has always found himself hopeless and running back to wherever you were concerned, hopeless in a way that had him studying for a test he didn’t even have to keep you company or show up.. here. Content to be near you in whatever capacity he could. He told himself it was enough. That it would be enough to watch you from the sidelines, to sit across from you at family dinners.
It wasn’t.
Because Jungkook wasn't a virtuous man. He never had been.
Virtue belonged to his brother—the one who could weave dreams out of thin air, who saw the world in colors Jungkook had never learned to name. His brother—Minho—who had been the light, the warmth that people, he gravitated toward. He had admired Minho, even envied him, resented him in ways he never admitted aloud and kept it in shadows.
When Minho died, the shadow became a man. And that man had spent years running.
Running into work, into unfamiliar cities, into the kind of purpose that left no room for thought. No room for the times when everything was right, when he tasted family and friendship for the first time ever, no room for the last time he tasted it when you walked down the aisle to his brother looking at him like he was the sun and how it burned, how he had burned with nails biting into his palms.
And only men with no integrity burn. Men who are cowards, restless, afraid of thier own greed try to run, in hopes that the distance would save them.
But distance didn’t save men like Jungkook.
Because here he was again, standing before you, the fire still smoldering.
“Hi,” you said softly, your voice pulling him back, creating a doubt in his belief.
“Hi,” he replied, his own tounge feeling heavy in his mouth.
“You’re early,” you said, your tone carefully light.
He cleared his throat, his hands slipping into the pockets of his slacks in an attempt to keep them to themselves. “Traffic was lighter than I expected. Are you ready to leave?"
You nodded and he stepped back, revealing his sleek Mercedes benz parked just right in front. He let you walk before him, watching how your movements were hesitant, as if the ground beneath your feet wasn’t entirely steady. He wanted to ask you if you were okay. He wanted to tell you it was okay if you weren't.
He settled for opening the car door for you.
“Thanks for this,” you said, your gaze fixed on the passing streetlights. “I know it’s probably the last thing you want to do.”
His grip tightened against the leather of the steering wheel with a force that made his knuckles ache. There was a rancorous way that you spoke to him, carefully restrained, that he couldn't even blame you for.
"It's not." He gritted out. "It's not a problem."
He had earned every inch of this gap between you, had spent years building it brick by brick, mile by mile. He's all to blame for. For carving the space between you with every ignored call, every excuse he made to avoid family dinners where you’d inevitably be.
For the leaving the wreckage in his wake—yours, his, theirs.
It wasn’t fair to hate the consequences of his own choices.
But hell, if he didn't outright loathed feeling like he was staring at a wall of frosted glass when he looked at you—where he could see the outline of you, but the details were blurred, distant. Like he had lost the privilge of knowing you from one glance, lost the privilge of having you speak up to him whenever you wanted, call him out, intoxicate him with your laughter that lightened up a room he wasn't even aware was dark. Found it fucking unbearable.
So much that he felt relief washing over him when the venue of the gathering came in view. A grand mansion, framed by manicured gardens and sprawling oaks that seemed to whisper old secrets to one another. It had a timeless elegance that made you wonder how many lives it had seen pass through its doors.
Small gathering, she said. You scoffed internally at rich people and their definition of small.
“Nice place,” you murmured as you walked beside him, your steps careful on the stone path after the car was eased into a parking spot.
“It’s the Kim's family home,” Jungkook said. You nodded, though the name didn’t spark much recognition. The Kims had been mentioned here and there at family dinners—names dropped in passing between sips of wine and shared laughter. You had barely paid attention then, too busy suppressing laughs at the jokes that Minho whispered near.
The front doors were open, the faint scent of fresh flowers and expensive cologne wafting out to greet you. Inside, the space was as opulent as expected—high ceilings adorned with crystal chandeliers, polished floors that gleamed under the soft light, and clusters of well-dressed guests milling about with drinks in hand.
A tall man stood near the entrance, his broad shoulders and sharp jawline making him impossible to miss. Beside him, another man stood with a softer air, his eyes crinkling with warmth as he leaned into the first man’s side.
The taller of the two men turned, his expression lighting up as he spotted Jungkook. “There he is,” He said, his deep voice carrying effortlessly.
"Hyung." Jungkook softened, clasping hands in a firm shake before pulling each other into a brief hug, the kind that spoke of collaboration and respect.
You shifted awkwardly on your feet, your fingers curling around the strap of your purse as you wondered whether to step back and leave him to his conversation or stay and risk being out of place.Would it be rude if you chose the former?
You were saved from your uncertainty when the two of them pulled away from Jungkook and took you in, a gleam of recognition passing through their face. Recognition, shock, then pity. You know how it went.
“You must be Y/N,” the taller one said, his gaze shifting to you with a warm smile.
You blinked, clearly caught off guard by the direct attention. “Yes, that’s me.”
“Kim Namjoon ” he said, offering his hand. “And this is Seokjin, my partner.” You smiled, nodding in acknowledgment before taking the hand of the charming one in the beige suit. “It’s nice to meet you, both. This is a beautiful venue.” You assume that they're the hosts of the party. The Kims that this house belonged to.
“Thank my father for that,” Namjoon said with a chuckle. “Sixty years old and still insists on hosting the most extravagant parties. He’d never let me live it down if I didn’t pull out all the stops.”
“Extravagant is an understatement,” Seokjin chimed in, his tone playful as he glanced at Namjoon. “I’m pretty sure half the flowers in the city ended up here.”
You smiled again, but it faltered when Seokjin's expression changed in a beat.
“We’ve heard a lot about you too,” he said gently, his gaze dipping briefly to Jungkook before meeting yours again.
You tilted your head, curiosity flashing across your face. “All good things, I hope.”
“Of course,” Namjoon assured you. “Your family is well-regarded, and we-we're sorry about Minho. He was brilliant in every sense of the world. We can't even imagin—"
“Thank you,” you said softly, trying really hard to not let the tightening of your throat strain your voice. “He was.”
Jungkook watched as your smile faltered, just slightly, at the mention of Minho. He decided to steer the conversation away but you recovered quickly, offering a polite nod and beat him to it.
There was a brief, loaded pause before you glanced at Jungkook. “I should find mom. She asked me to join her earlier.”
"Yeah, right.” Jungkook said, his voice steady despite the way his chest tightened again when he looked at you.
You walked by Jungkook, brushing close enough that your shoulder brushed against his chest, the faintest hint of your vanilla perfume that was so maddeningly you lingered in the air. He tensed, his breath catching before he could stop it. His fingers twitched at his sides, an almost imperceptible motion, but it was enough.
Subtle as he tried to be, he caught himself leaning slightly, his chest rising with a quiet inhale as though he could take the ghost of your scent and keep it for himself.
"Not as subtle as you think." Seokjin snickered by his boyfriend's side who also raised an eyebrow, his expression knowing and somewhat giving away his discomfort. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”
Shit.
Jungkook straightened, his jaw clenching as he avoided their eyes, fixing the collar of his shirt hoping they won't catch on the heat creeping up on his neck too. “Don’t.” he said quietly, his tone low and edged with warning.
"Maybe you don't sniff her like a dog in public? Maybe you have some decorum?" Seokjin judged, proud and loud.
"I have plenty, hyung." The younger male side eyed the older one, his eyes narrowed and the tips of his ears already crimson red like he was a boy caught watching porn for the very first time.
Namjoon sighed, though there was a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Let him be, honey.”
But the look he gave Jungkook was far from dismissive. It was the kind of look that saw too much, that peeled back layers Jungkook wasn’t ready to confront. Gods, he needed new friends.
He turned his attention back to the crowd where you disappeared.
The soft hum of conversations and the faint clinking of glasses followed you as you weaved through the grand hall, your eyes scanning for your mother-in-law’s familiar figure. The air in the mansion was heavier than it had been when you arrived, the brush of silk against silk, the way every movement seemed calculated, observed, and weighed.
You navigated through the crowd like a ghost in a gallery, your steps measured and slow, eyes flicking to the floor more than once to avoid the speculative stares. With rich circles came dirty gossip—whispered words disguised as laughter, false smiles that hid daggers. You’d learned to let them roll off your back, like rain on stone.
The Jeon matriarch had mentioned being near the back, closer to where the banquet tables were set. You followed the direction she’d gestured toward earlier, passing servers who moved seamlessly with trays of sparkling champagne.
Halfway through the journey, your steps faltered as your gaze landed on the centerpiece of one table—a chocolate fountain. Warm, rich, and cascading like liquid satin, it stood surrounded by an array of treats. Strawberries gleamed like rubies in the low light, their surfaces polished and inviting.
You hesitated, glanced around as if expecting someone to berate you for indulging in something so ordinary, but eventually, you plucked a strawberry and dipped it into the cascading chocolate.
You let the sweetness settle on your tongue, closing your eyes for a brief moment. For the first time all evening, you found this place somewhat tolerable.
Free food always making things better.
“Excuse me, miss.” a small voice piped up beside you, tugging on the flowy end of your dress.
A boy, no older than six or seven, stood by your side, his wide eyes flicking between you and the fountain. He looked as if he had stepped out of a luxury children’s catalog, his little suit tailored perfectly, his bow tie slightly askew. “Can you grab one for me? I’m not allowed to reach it by myself.” he asked, pointing at the fountain. His voice was polite, but there was a hopeful edge to it, as if he wasn’t used to asking for things twice.
“Of course, love.” you said, your lips curving into a small smile. You picked another strawberry, dipping it with care before crouching slightly to hand it to him. "There you go."
“Thank you!” he chirped, grinning immediate and radiant, the kind that softened the edges of a hard day.
"What's your name?" You asked him, crouching down to his level.
“Do-yun!” came a sharp voice, the kind that turned your stomach before your brain even processed it.
Who you assumed was the boy's mother stepped forward, her elegance severe, her lips painted in a red that matched the strawberries. She took her son’s hand but not before her eyes raked over you, head to toe, with an expression that left no room for interpretation.
"What did I tell you about bothering strangers?” she scolded do-yun who stared at the skewer in his hand apologetically.
“He wasn’t bothering me,” you said gently, straightening up and having the woman’s eyes flicker to you again, assessing.
“He just wanted a treat.”
Her eyes flicked to the chocolate fountain, then back to you, her lips pressing into a tight smile. “how kind of you.”
There was no warmth in her tone, no hint of gratitude. Just a faintly dismissive air. And with that, she turned, her child in tow, leaving you with the faint scent of something floral and the taste of bitterness on your tongue.
You'd learned better than to expect warmth from people bound by history.
You'd learned not to mind it. To overlook it. To not pay attention to them at all.
"That's her, isn't she?"
“Such a shame, losing her husband so young.”
“Yes, but you know, they weren’t exactly power players, were they? He was an artist, wasn’t he?”
The words hung in the air like cigarette smoke, acrid and inescapable.
A laugh, soft and cruel. “I suppose she’s lucky the Jeons still keep her close. Poor thing, all alone now. Must be awful.”
You stopped in your tracks. The sharp sting of their voices cut through the party’s hum, louder than the music, louder than your own heartbeat.
You could feel your palms start to get sweaty, eyes suddenly unable to meet anyone's.
Breathe. You reminded yourself.
One: Find your breath.
Two: Focus on something neutral—the fountain, the floor, the chandelier above.
Three: Remind yourself: They don’t know you. Their words are weightless.
But weightless wasn’t the right word.
“Though, you’d think she’d be a bit more modest. That dress isn’t exactly… widow-appropriate, is it?”
You tried to focus on your numbers but you lost it.
You turned, your fists clenched, your lips thinned, the polite demeanor cracking away from your face under the weight of your frustration.
“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “Was there something you wanted to say to my face?”
The women froze, their eyes widening in surprise. One of them, a younger woman with a nervous smile, tried to backpedal. “Oh, no, we didn’t mean—”
“Because if you have an issue with me or my dress, feel free to say it outright,” you continued, your voice clear despite the way your heart hammered in your chest. “I’d hate for you to waste any more time whispering behind my back.”
The group exchanged glances, communicating in a language of their own, you couldn’t care less about. Atleast not in this moment.
“We didn’t mean to offend,” one of them muttered, her tone brittle.
“Of course you didn’t,” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “How could I possibly take offense to strangers dissecting my life as if it’s some dinner party entertainment?”
Stupid old hags with no life of their own!
You kept that to yourself.
Then, without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and stormed away.
The chandeliers above blurred as tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not here. Not now.
You weren’t looking for anything specific—just distance, just air that wasn’t thick with judgment and whispers. A bathroom, maybe, though you weren’t going to ask for directions not when your voice felt like it would crack the moment you opened your mouth.
People brushed past you, their scents of expensive perfumes swirling in the air, their muted voices blending into a hum you couldn’t quite focus on. One or two bumped into your shoulder, but you didn’t apologize, didn’t bother looking back.
You just needed to get away—you just needed out of here.
And then, as if the universe wasn’t finished testing you, a firm hand of another one of a frame you jerked into, closed around your wrist, halting your momentum.
You looked up, brows scrunched, eyes glossy and mouth parting, ready to snap but then you were met with a amicable pair of dark eyes.
A crease of his own wrinkling his forehead as he looked down at you. "Is something wrong?" He asked and you almost wanted to laugh mockingly.
Instead, you did what you initially wanted to do. Your eyes flicked to his hand, then back to his face. “Let me go.”
He hesitated for a moment, tounge poking his cheek, grip on your hand loosening but not releasing entirely. "What's wrong, y/n?"
“I said, let me go,” you repeated, your voice firm, frangible at the edges before you pulled your hand away from him and pushed past to walk away without another word.
The next random hallway you stumbled into was quieter, emptier, and for that, you were grateful, stretched ahead like an endless corridor of polished wood and muted gold accents. The noise of the party faded into the background, muffled by the thick walls and heavy doors.
You couldn’t find it in yourself to roam around mindlessly any further. This should be good enough, you told yourself and leaned against one of the walls, your forehead pressing against the cool surface as you tried to breathe through the wave of vehemence emotions that crashed through you.
One: Inhale.
Two: Exhale.
Three: Forget the words they said. Forget them.
But they echoed, persistent and savage, circling in your mind like vultures.
Poor thing, all alone now. Must be awful.
You’d think she’d be a bit more modest. That dress isn’t exactly widow-appropriate, is it?
Your chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths, your hands clutching at your dress as if the fabric could somehow hold you together. But nothing could, nothing had. You had tried and tried and tried.. and fuck you didn't wanted to do it anymore.
Turning around, your head tipped back against the wall, the ceiling swimming in and out of focus as your vision blurred.
You shouldn’t have come here.
You should have stayed home, buried yourself in the comfort of your quiet apartment where no one whispered behind your back or looked at you with pity thinly disguised as deference.
Why did they care? Why did it matter to them how you dressed, how you existed, how you grieved?
It shouldn’t have mattered.
But it did.
You pressed the heels of your palms against your eyes, trying to will the tears away. Crying wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t change anything.
Your hands gripped your clutch tightly, the edges digging into your palms, and for a moment, you considered throwing it—hurling it across the hall just to feel something break.
But you didn’t.
You couldn’t.
Because even here, in this quiet, empty hallway, you felt the silent expectation that you hold yourself together, that you keep smiling, keep nodding, keep existing in a way that made other people comfortable.
You hated this. You hated being you. You hated being the one who was left behind. And God you hated being alone. No Minho to make a quiet joke about the ridiculousness of it all and pull you toward something fun and irreverent.
Just you.
It will be always be just you. You've never admitted that to yourself but now that you did, you feel such panic rise in your chest that you don't hear him at first. Not until his voice broke through the haze.
“Y/N.”
It was soft, tentative, but it still cut through the silence like a blade.
You flinched, your head snapping toward the source of the voice. Jungkook stood a few feet away, his dark eyes searching yours, his expression shadowed with concern.
He had followed you.
“I told you to leave me alone,” you managed, your voice trembling as you turned away, willing him to disappear.
“I’m not leaving,” he said, his footsteps growing louder as he moved closer with a cautiousness that made you feel like a wounded animal. “Talk to me.” He added, the pleading in his voice almost running free.
"I mean it, Jungkook.. go away." You tried putting distance between the both of you again but far too quick for your slowed senses, he was now standing right in front of you, hands hovering in the air as if he didn't know what to do with him while also knowing.
"And I told you, I'm not leaving." His tone had coarsened and your dam had broke.
“Why now?” you cried, stepping closer to him, your fists balling at your sides. “Why do you want to stay now? You’ve spent years acting like a stranger, Jungkook. Years acting like I didn’t exist. And now—”
You shoved at his chest, your fists pounding weakly against him, but he didn’t move.
“Now you want to act like you care?” you yelled, your voice cracking as you hit him again. “Now you want to be here? Why?”
Jungkook stood still, his arms at his sides, his chest solid and unyielding beneath your fists. He didn’t flinch, didn’t step back, didn’t even try to stop you. He just let you hit him, let you pour out everything.His silence infuriated you, and yet it steadied you in a way you couldn’t explain.
"Why do you care now?" you repeated, your voice cracking, trembling like your hands as they hit his chest incessantly. Each word felt like it scraped raw against your throat. "Where were you, Jungkook? When everything fell apart, when I—when I needed someone. Where were you?"
“I don’t need you now!” you snapped, your tears falling freely now. “I don’t need you to come here and act like you care, like you’ve always cared, because we both know that’s not true."
“Because you left!" your voice cracked, the words laced with betrayal. The hurt from the breach of faith weakening you and your punches on his chest until they finally stilled, your hands trembling still as they curled into the fabric of his shirt. Jungkook caught your wrists, his hold firm but gentle, and for a moment, you fought him, your breaths coming in sharp and ragged. But when he didn’t let go, when he didn’t flinch or step back, the fight drained out of you.
Your knees buckled, and his arms came around you slowly, hesitantly, as if he were afraid you might push him away. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. You were too tired now. Empty hands that had been holding onto something for as long as you could remember were too tired, have forgotten the feeling of what it felt like to be held instead.
You allowed to let yourself feel that. You allowed yourself to feel someone else other than the woman you couldn’t even recognize in a mirror as you sagged against him, your head pressing against his shoulder as your tears soaked into his shirt, body shaking and shivering from the quiet sobs that you let out.
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, angel." You heard him say those words like a mantra against your hair, arms tightening around you, nestling you close against his chest.
For a moment, you heard pain there, raw and unfiltered, pain that felt similiar to your own in ways you hadn’t expected. You clutched his shirt tighter. You didn't wanted to be alone and Jungkook felt and smelled of times when you weren't. Earthy and Warm. Like that one time when he pulled you in to him after the death of milo- your first dog, and didn’t even mind your snort.
You had clung to those memories but it felt better clinging to him. A small, desperate part of you wanting to drag him closer, to cling to what little you had left of the past. The rest of you wanted to push him away, to keep screaming at him for daring to come back after all this time, after all this distance.
The sobs subsided slowly, leaving behind the kind of stillness that felt fragile, as if it might shatter with the wrong word or movement. Jungkook didn’t push you away, didn’t loosen his hold. If anything, he pulled you closer, as though he feared you’d slip through his fingers if he let go.
You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, your gaze searching his face. His eyes shadowed, a stupid perfect strand of his stupid perfect hair falling on his forehead with tension prominent in his jaw and you wondered if there was a time there wasn't.
You wondered if it would make you any more vulnerable that you are right now if you say the words that sit on the top of your tounge, sting in the tears that linger in the corner of your eyes.
“I missed you,” you said softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. They felt dangerous, like exposing a wound that had barely begun to scab over.
His eyes darkened, a low sound rumbling in his chest—something between a growl and a sigh. “Fuck,” he muttered, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I missed you too, angel."
The rawness in his tone made your chest clench, a part of you craving more, while another part shrieked at you to stop this before it went any further, gather whatever semblance has left of you and walk away, play his cards against him.
But you have never been too good with cards or walking away.
“Then why did you leave?” you croaked. “Why did you stay away for so long?”
His gaze dropped to the space between you before meeting your eyes again, his own breathing now getting uneven. You could feel it beneath you. Rising. And Rising. And Rising.
"I didn’t knew how to look at you and not feel like I'm.. betraying him." His voice trembles as he drews in breath and you're so close you feel the heat of it brush against your temple. "And I can not, not look at you. That became a problem."
Your body stiffened at the confession, the world around you shrinking until it was just the two of you, his voice echoing in your ears.
Your first instinct was disbelief.
This can't mean what you think it does.
This can’t mean what you think it does!
The words replayed in your mind, over and over, refusing to settle. Each repetition twisted something deeper, something buried in the hollow space that had once been you.
You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, needing space, needing air.
He didn’t move. His gaze followed you, his expression resolute, like he was determined to lay everything bare now that the first truth had slipped out.
But you didn’t even wanted to acknowledge it as something, let alone, a truth. “That’s not—” Your voice cracked, and you forced yourself to start again. "Are you drunk, Jungkook?" You found the thought so repulsing, you could only think of ways to brush this up, put all the blame on the champagne.
From the way his eyes narrowed and brow ridged, you could tell that it was not the champagne.
“Y/N.” he says with a warning. “I’m not fucking drunk.”
“Well, you sound like you are,” you shot back, your tone sharper than you intended. “Because that—what you just said—sounds like something someone says when they’re not thinking clearly. You're not making any sense, Jungkook!"
“It makes sense,” he was starting to get frustated now. “It’s the only thing that’s ever made sense to me.”
And you were starting to get scared. You needed him to stop talking. Anything and everything he said made you physically want to recoil. You took another step back, your arms wrapping around yourself as if you could shield yourself from the weight of unsaid words that are no longer so.
“Don’t,” you said, your voice breaking, hands tempted to cover your ears like a child. His confession felt like a pin pulled from a grenade, and now the blast was unfurling within you. “Don’t do this. It's not fair. It's-It's not fair to him. Or me. Or you."
I know. He admits quietly to himself because he doesn't think anyone knows better than the man who was holding the jagged ends of a once delicate thread. And he hates himself for it because hating you was as unrealistic as the existence of a greater being to him. He had tried. Tried turning to salvation. Tried to despise you for being the one thing that has turned him the best and worst person he can be but he just can't. He prefers hating himself better.
He wants this punishment, that is you. He wants to whisper I'm sorry- I'm sorry for leaving- I'm sorry for coming back in every crook and nook of your body for the rest of his life so you'd feel his expression of regret that could only be a product of love so consuming embedding into you.
Because it's truth. It's his truth, has been for years and years, before he even knew what are the consequences of being a honest person. Now that he is seeing you in front of him—you with a revolting look, a stray tear rolling down your eyes that is nowhere near as angry as it had been before, he understands that it's not a consequence he can take.
He dares to step forward again and even if takes a whole lot of power in him not to pull you into him again, he doesn't and only raises a hand and catches the tear with his thumb.
“You don’t get to do this to me.” you repeat, your voice low and trembling.
And so does his. "I know."
Jungkook didn’t know what he expected you to say, what he hoped for. Forgiveness? Understanding? He wasn’t sure he deserved either.
Yet when you don't pull away, look back at him with the same daring he had stepped forward with, a silence understanding passes between the space that is separating you from him. And he's done being separated from you.
He tilted his head down, his breath stirring your hair when he inhaled deeply, his nose tracing a path down until it rubbed against yours—softly, deliberately—as if giving you time to move away. You didn't and his eyes fell on your inviting mouth again.
Fuck it.
Jungkook surged forward, his hands cupping your face, tipping your face up to him as his lips crashed against yours. The way he kissed you was nothing like the way he had touched you. It was rough, desperate with the way tounge and teeth clashed, filled with years of pent up desire and regret and emotions too tangled to name.
He kissed you like the nights he’d spent staring at the ceiling in places too far from home, wondering if you’d be happier without him there to complicate things, wondering if things had been any different if he said something before. Will you have looked at him like the way you looked at his brother? Would that choice have saved you from years and years of tragedy? Would that have saved him from the weight of his guilt, his love—love that had been a silent, unwelcome presence in his life for so long that it felt like another organ, vital and inescapable?
When he felt you grip him again and kiss him back. Nothing else mattered. The world stopped spinning and he didn't wanted to run anymore.
His hands found your waist, gripping tightly. A low groan slipping from his mouth to yours at the feeling of how you melted against him when he deepened the kiss, tounge proding and exploring all that your sweet mouth had to offer. Gods, he was drunk now.
"Shit." He shuddered as the taste of you finally started to settle in, pulling you closer and closer, then pushing you back until your back met the wall of the hallway.
You should be scared, anxious and pushing him back. The mere thought of someone walking in on you kissing him, your supposed family. Should make you want to end this because you could only imagine the stake they'd pin you on. They'd be not wrong to.
This is traitorous—what you're doing, what you're allowing yourself. But so is a shameful part of you that had always reached for him. Something that whispered to you, so soft it felt like it came from inside your own chest.
It's not so bad. His lips feel good.
But oh, it is. It makes you sick from just thinking how bad it is. Anger, confusion, guilt—oh, the guilt—swirl together and make you so sick.
"W-We shouldn’t.." You gasp against him as your unpracticed lips suck on his in a contradiction.
"No, we shouldn't." He kisses you harder, his mouth only leaving yours to trail a train of kisses along the column of your accessible throat to him, making you whimper out loud that he takes as an sign to nibble and bite.
Your hands find their way to his shoulder and his to your hips. "Legs around me." He licks the length of your neck, narrowing your world down to the feeling of his provoking wet tounge on your skin, his calloused fingers squeezing your hips. It felt all too real now. And despite you being balant enough to start this in the first place, you're not sure if you're still feeling bold. What you are feeling is this sinful, unexplainable craving seeping into your bones, curling around your ribs, making it hard to breath and think. Or maybe it's him.
Whatever it is, you get yourself to pause his eager hands and hungry mouth and speak, your breath coming in short, hot puffs. "Jungkook.. I don't think-" He straightens up and the vulnerability in his voice and eyes is gone as he squeezes your hips tighter.
"Finally gave me that perfect mouth of yours and now you want to walk away? Do you like tormenting me, angel? Do you like knowing that I'd fuck my fist to only the thought of you when you do?" He growls against your ear and you feel yourself flush so hard you're sure he even feels the heat coming off you in ripples.
"Please, baby." He pleads unapologetically, fingers tugging you closer even when all of you is pressed against all of him. "I want you." So bad it hurts.
Gone is the man who had once been so armored, seemed so unreachable and untouchable. And left is Jeon Jungkook, who looks like he will crumble to the ground if you pull away now.
You wouldn't want that. But the words came anyway, right from where shame twisted in your stomach, tangling with the guilt that clawed at your throat. "Do you still want me even if I'm nothing like the woman I used to be?" It came out breakable and in segments, and the second they left your lips, you weren’t sure what to except as a answer.
For a moment, all you could hear was the ragged rhythm of your combined breathing.
You swallowed hard, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. The intensity in his dark eyes was almost unbearable, raw and unrelenting as they searched yours.
"Don't ever say that again." he bit out, every syllable heavy. "I want you always. I want you with my every breath. There's always been only you for me, understand?" He added with a brief grind of his hardened arousal against your front, making you mewl.
The words, though, hit you like a physical forcek, breaking through the walls you’d built around yourself, the ones you’d convinced yourself were impenetrable.
Before you could respond, he moved.
His mouth fell onto yours again and with practiced ease, his hands slid to the backs of your thighs, lifting you like you weighed nothing. "Now. Legs around me, baby." he murmured in the kiss, and though your mind was a whirlwind of what seemed like every single thought you've ever had, your body obeyed.
You could barely figure out to where he was taking you, too engrossed in the kiss that you steered towards a softer, mellow one, fingers tangling in the hair that has grown a little bit on the nape of his neck. Feeling like you both were two audacious college students trying to find a space in a messy party where you both won't be interrupted.
When he halted in his steps, you assumed that he found it as he kicked it open with a firm nudge of his boot, the room beyond dim and quiet but he barely give you time to register anything else, his movements urgent and frantic as he carried you over to the bed in the middle after swiftly locking you both away. You bounced on the silk mattress as he set you down, though his intentions were grave, his actions or the way he held you was gentle, tounge swiping over his glistening lips like chasing the taste of you that made you want to give him once more.
Audacious, you were.
Your eyes on his face, shadows played along the planes, softening the hard edges of his jaw, but his gaze burned. Dark and piercing, it held you in place as if daring you to look away.
You didn’t.
Your eyes followed the sluggish movements of his hands as he reached up, his fingers deftly working the knot of his tie. The fabric slid free, whispering against the buttons of his dress shirt before he cast it aside, forgotten on the nearby chair.
Next came his jacket. He shrugged it off with practiced ease, the broad span of his shoulders rolling beneath the fabric. Your breath hitched as he discarded it, leaving him in the crisp white shirt that clung to his frame, the outline of him barely hidden.
And then his hands moved again, this time to his wrist.
You watched, mesmerized, as he undid the strap of his watch, the silver buckle catching the faint light. He pulled it free and set it down on the nightstand, the movement so fluid it felt almost rehearsed.
It wasn’t until he turned his wrist slightly that you noticed it—the worn thread of a bracelet wrapped around his wrist, faded from time and use but unmistakable.
The one you’d tied around his wrist when you were kids in an action of promise to stay friends for years to come.
But he still wore it.
He still wore it.
Your fingers twitched against the bedspread, the urge to reach out and touch him almost overwhelming.
And as if understanding your anticipation, he soon followed you down, your breath catching as he hovered above you. You waited for him to kiss you again because god help you, you liked a little too much but he only pressed a chaste one, smirking subtly at the pout that subconsciously formed on your lips that soon parted in a gasp when he started to suck on your neck again, this time with the intention to claim the spot with the scrape of his teeth.
He hummed against your skin, the sound deep and satisfied, before he drew your flesh into his mouth again, harder this time. The sharp pull sent a jolt of pleasure-pain coursing through you, thighs clenching together.
"My angel." he said softly, yet nothing was soft about the way he pulled down on the straps of your dress. The fabric slipped, baring the smooth skin of your shoulder, and he pressed his lips there, warm and firm, before trailing lower, his mouth following the path he’d just uncovered. "My undoing."
The red fabric gathered at your arms as he pushed it further, exposing the tops of your collarbones and the swell of your chest. His gaze flicked up to meet yours then, dark and questioning, seeking permission even though his hands were steady, his intention clear.
You nodded, perhaps with too much enthusiasm and earned a chuckle from him that you were sure was the reason for the wetness pooling between your legs.
You had missed that sound. You had missed him.
And he was hell bent on making up for lost time as he dived face first into your chest, humming again when he took in your pebbled nipple in his mouth, swirling his tounge around the roundness of you.
"Oh shit." Your back arched, hands finding their way to his hair again. Pulling and tugging. Urging him on until his hand was fondling the other, abandoned tit. Squeezing under his rough palms that made the heat lowering your stomach worse—all of it felt too much, too soon. And yet, it wasn’t enough.
It had been so long.
Too long since someone had touched you like this, with a reverence that made you feel seen, whole, wanted.
You told yourself it was natural, that anyone in your position would respond this way. That it wasn’t about him—it couldn’t be. But your body betrayed you before your mind could even catch up. Your legs wrapped around his waist once more as you ground yourself against him. Against the print of his bulging length you could feel pulsing against you.
"Fuck yeah.." You cursed low, head falling back on the pillows and Jungkook looked up, his own cock twitching at the sight of you, at the feel of you. Of everything he has ever wanted. Of everything he thought he would never have. But here you were straight from his flithest wet dream that would have him taking more cold showers that he could keep count of.
A goddamn miracle for him, this wasn't a dream.
"This here needs some attention too, hmm?" He rasped, hands slipping down from the curve of your waist, to bunch up your dress to your hips. Wasting no time in finding the wet mess you made of your panties. "Look at this." He grunted, hand cupping your clothed mound. "So wet."
You exhaled out like you'd been freed from shackles that felt too heavy and a whimper followed right after when he disposed you of them, exposing your deprived cunt to the cold air that had you clenching around nothing. "And so fucking responsive." He breathed against your bare sex after moving his head down.
You hadn’t expected that. You breath was bated, cheeks were flushed and heart was pounding at the view alone of his face between your thighs.
Then again, he was all about surprising you today.
Though, it didn't make it any less overwhelming.
The way his hands gripped your thighs, firm yet careful, as if he were both anchoring you and holding himself back. His fingers dug into your skin just enough to leave the faintest imprint, a reminder of where he had been, where he was. Your legs draped over his shoulders, trembling with a mix of anticipation and disbelief, as though your body was still catching up to the reality of this moment.
Never in your wildest dreams, it would have come to this. Come to Jungkook licking a greedy strip up from your folds.
"Jungkook—oh God!" You gasped and he groaned, feeling all of his restraint and the plan to savor this, to savor you, slip away from his tightening hands. One taste of you and he wanted to grasp every drop of like it would be his last.
And so he did.
Burying his face in your wanting pussy like a man with purpose, he lapped. His mouth wrapped around your clit, tounge swiping and licking with a reverence because you were something sacred, something he had put on a pedestal so high, others in his life barely mattered.
"Oh- mhm. Feels so good!" You moan out, mind in a haze of pure fog and he takes it as his cue to plunge his digit inside your dripping core. You're sure you've got no mind now. Grunts of his own leaving him at the thought of your heat wrapping around his aching cock instead.
He felt no shame in that. No shame in what he was doing right now. Because then you moved, your body arching toward him as if to erase every doubt. Your fingers found their way to his hair, tugging as selfishly as he fed on you, flatenning his tounge on your slit to take all he can get, to give you all he can.
A shaky exhale brushing against your folds. The sound was low, guttural, and filled with more longing than he knew how to contain. "Does it, baby? Sweet pussy's feeling good?" His fingers—knuckles deep now—worked you faster, curling and testing ways to get you closer to the edge.
This was more desire that he knew he was possible of as his hips started to rut on their own, seeking friction in a way that was both instinctual and helpless. Brain flat lining. Face drowned in the essence of you. Desperate, as you pulled on his hair. Pathetic, as he chased his own high from just the taste of you, from just how you enveloped his curving fingers. Ecastic, when you finally reached your breaking point from how he alternated between broad strokes and targeted flicks, making you come all over his mouth that kindles his face, that he swallow all because he refuses to let anything go to waste.
"Ah fuck—Oh lord!" You fingers tear in his scalp and hips bucked against his face, eyes rolling back until they whitened.
Oh.
Oh.
It was in this moment, with your thighs braced against his shoulders and his name spilling from her lips, that Jungkook knew.
He would never be the same again.
That he too would be coming in his pants like a high school boy.
It wasn’t enough—nothing would ever be enough—but it was all he had, and it drove him to the edge faster than he would’ve liked to admit. The tension inside him snapped before he could stop it, his body tensing and toes curling because he found everything else secondary to the sheer joy of watching you fall apart beneath him.
"Oh shit, y/n. Shit. Shit. Shit." He whimpers against your cunt, his hips finally slowing down their mindless movement. His forehead pressed against your thigh as he caught his breath. His chest heaved, his heartbeat thundered in his ears, and his entire body felt like it was vibrating, the aftershocks of his release making his muscles twitch.
He swallowed hard, his throat dry, and shifted slightly, pressing a kiss to your clit before leaning back up to feel another wave of release threatening to overcome him when he sees your content expression, hands loosening their grip in his raven hair, half lidded eyes meeting his own before they trail down. "Y-You.." You didn’t know what to say, couldn’t have spoken even if you tried.
A lazy smirk made it's way to his lips that caught the light before he licked whatever remnant what was left of you on his fingers.
"I'm a starved man, angel. Cut me some slack." He panted, pinching your bud in emphasis and moved back up before you could even process it, the warmth of his breath retreating, replaced by the cooler air of the room as he straightened. The absence of his lips against you left you gasping, your chest heaving, your pulse thundering in your ears or maybe it was you still riding your orgasm or maybe it was the knowledge that he came in his pants from just eating you out.
Then he was there again, his hands sliding from your thighs to the mattress on either side of you, bracketing you in like a secret he refused to let escape.
"Hi." He breathed against your forehead.
You felt a shy smile twitch on your lips. "Hi." You reply just as breathlessly.
He presses another kiss, this time to the tip of your nose. "I'm gonna fuck you now, yeah?" You couldn’t reconcile it.
How could he say things that made your cheeks flush, your body respond in ways you couldn’t control, while his lips brushed against your temple with a tenderness that felt like an apology?
How could he make you feel like you were unraveling and being held together all at once?
You wanted to know. "Mhm. Please." You mewl, hands softly going through the beautiful mess that you made of his hair.
"Please, what?" He demanded, lips on your cheek.
"Please fuck me." You whine and he bumped his nose against your face, chest rumbling from a sound so feverish that you can't help but grind against him again. Coaxing his cock back into hardness with your bare cunt against him, from the realization that you shared the insatiable urges with him.
It got his hand trembling when they reached down to unbind his belt, pushing the fabric down his hips to reveal predicament he's made of his boxers that were bounding his hard, leaking cock but hell if he had it in himself to care.
He had been bidding his time for far too long. Waited enough—longer than any man should have to wait for something that felt this inevitable, this right, this his.
Ridding himself of the last piece of clothing on him, other than the white dress shirt that flexed against his coiled muscles, he took himself In a fist, groaning when he pumped himself in one slow stroke. Eyes never leaving your wide ones like you weren’t sure if you should be impressed, intimidated, or both.
Your breath hitched audibly, and your chest rose and fell as your eyes darted from his face to the undeniable evidence of his arousal. Heat bloomed across your cheeks, but you couldn’t seem to tear your gaze away, couldn’t stop the thought that immediately took hold.
"You're too big." Your throat dry, and your fingers fisted the sheet beneath you, trying not too think too much about how thick he would feel down your throat. The sounds he'd make when you would lick him just right.
"And you're gonna take every inch." He said it like a statement, a prominent vein popping in his neck when he finally let go of the locked gaze and focused instead on compressing the tip of his angry, veiny cock to your slick folds.
"Won't you, angel?" He asks with a confident smirk passed your way for a second before his breath wavered again, brows scrunched together and if it wasn't for his tip nudging inside you, you'd thought him endearing.
But once his tip is actually is in, you're left with no thought. Rendered speechless, eyes falling shut when he starts to jab inch by inch.
"Dear lord—" You gasp out loud. The sheet beneath you not providing much semblance so you switch to his shoulders. And you swear, he feel him shake when he is finally all in. Closes his eyes and relishes in your heat stretching around. "Fucking hell." The sensation was overwhelming—heat and softness so consuming it felt like his mind short-circuited, every thought dissolving into static.
But you feel that its your pussy that feels like it's going to split apart any moment now that's stopping him from moving. And partly it is. "You're so..tight." He hisses out and squeezes your hips with great roughness.
"Been long since you've been fucked, eh?" He muses, dark hungry eyes devouring yours when he makes an attempt to move inside you like he was testing your limits. Your mind reels, caught between the sharpness of the initial sensation and the overwhelming desire that followed.
He felt impossibly big, like your body wasn’t prepared for the sheer intensity of him, and for a fleeting moment, doubt crept into your thoughts.
It’s been so long.
The thought came unbidden. Your body had grown used to quiet nights and cold sheets, to the impersonal hum of a vibrator and the absence of warmth.
"Been so long." You confirm, nails clawing at his shoulders, mimicking the roughness that only spurs him on. His lashes fluttered shut, his forehead drops to your shoulder and with a whine of disagreement from you, he pulls back fully just to (to your satisfaction) bury himself back to the hilt.
An unadulterated moan from you broke the silence, a sound so sweet it made him want to come right there and then again. But he'd much rather have you convulse first. Priorities.
His jaw clenched, a low groan rumbling in his chest as he started to move his hips against yours, slow and deliberate, like he needed to feel every inch of your.
Your legs tensed around his hips, pulling him closer. You couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop the way your body reacted to him, your mind a dizzy blur of heat and need and overwhelming sensation.
He pulled back again, the drag of him leaving you feeling empty, only to return with the same slow, measured thrust.
“That’s right,” he muttered, his voice rough and uneven, barely coherent through the sounds your free spilling moans and the fact that his face was buried in the crook of your shoulder. “You’re—fuck, you’re perfect.” His voice unrefined at the edges, raw with honesty and disbelief, like he couldn’t believe you were really here, with him, like this.
Your hands slid down his back, clinging to the flexing muscles beneath your palms. You suddenly didn't like that his shirt was still on. Wanting to map out his bare skin with every graze of your nails. But with each thrust, pleasure sparked at the base of your spine and spread outward, your thoughts scattered like autumn leaves.
"Yeah- Oh mphm! Just like that!" He flourished in your cries of encouragement, his grip on your hips tightening, his fingers digging into your skin as he was afraid he'd lose control too soon.
And you wanted nothing more. "F-Faster! Please go faster!" His pace was unhurried but devastating, every pull and thrust deliberate, designed to drag you to the edge and keep you there, teetering. You couldn’t take that anymore.
And Jungkook couldn’t take keeping you unsatisfied. His lips found the corner of your mouth, brushing against it in a fleeting kiss before moving lower, his teeth grazing your jaw. His hands moved to your thighs, urging them higher, wrapping them around his waist as he drove into you with more force, more intent.
“taking me so well, was made for this cock.” Were made for me. he praised, his voice sounding like a backdrop to the obscene sounds his hips snapping against yours as your own body moved with his, meeting him with the same intensity, the same desperate need. "Yeah." He grunted, punctuating his words with a squeeze to your boob. "Fuck me back. Use me. Feel me."
All you could possibly do was feel him.
He felt like fire and electricity all at once, a heat that spread from your core to the very tips of your fingers and toes.
“Jungkook…” you whispered again, your voice catching on the syllables when his head tipped forward, his forehead pressing against yours, his damp hair brushing your skin.
He whimpered in response, a deep, guttural sound that reverberated through you, and he pistoned his cock harder, pulling a cry from your lips that you couldn’t hold back.
"I-I missed you." You can feel tears gather in your eyes again. You don't even know why. Why you're repeating what you've already admitted. Why the words feel more vulnerable now. All you know that you missed him and the coil is tightening in your stomach.
Jungkook, too feels like he will break down any moment when he stares down at you. But he’s got a impending orgasm to deliver.
He kisses your eyelids, is tempted to lick the tears that slowly make their way down to your chin but doesn't. He's not sure he'll be able to handle the taste of your despair without feeling like he has to chastise himself for ever being the reason for it.
"I know. I know." His cock thrusts with renewed vigor. "I missed you too. I missed you." He says through his gritted teeth, feeling how your walls fluttered around him.
"Gonna cum now?" He knows what your answer will be. There's a smug underline tone in his rasps that gives him away. How he takes pride in knowing that he's the one to make you release all this tension; once on his mouth; then on his cock that is pulsing with an reoccurring ache.
You can only manage to nod, lips tightly tucked between your teeth, hands scratching and marking on his once crisp shirt that is now crumpled from the fate of your hands.
"Gonna soak my cock, huh? Go ahead, baby. Go ahead and come with me." He demands, his hand slipping between you to rub tight circles against your puffy clit that is just enough to tip you over at last.
"Koo.. ah..oh god!" The name you've always called him with a fondness falls unintentionally from your lips when your walls tighten for the last time and you release all over his cock that is now stuttering with it's every thrust.
"Oh fuck. Call me that again." He all but snarls. Cock turns firmer inside your heat that hugs him. And balls screw up.
"Koo.." You whine and that's all he needs before thick ropes of white hot cum is spilling inside you, filling you to the brim. "Mhm, take it all. There's my girl. Pussy looks so good stuffed with my cum." He grinds the best his spent body can into yours that still welcomes him and fuck if that doesn't make him never want to leave.
And he doesn't, for a moment, when he collapses onto you. Just not enough to crush you under his weight. Just enough to latch his lips where ever he can find and whisper words of affection. "Could'nt fucking breathe without you." He's yet to get enough of you. This life won't suffice, he thinks. Then finally pulls out his softening cock from your slick hole with a hiss.
You too feel the loss the of the connection that had pulsed faintly between you, leaving you achingly empty.
He moved with the same carefulness, reaching for the tissues on the bedside table. The room was quiet save for your mingled breaths as he knelt beside you, his touch impossibly tender as he wiped at the inside of your thighs. You shivered under the cool press of the tissue against your skin, the sensation making you acutely aware of the aftermath—the way your body still quivered, the way your breaths still came uneven.
You stared at the ceiling while he did so, the edges of your perception blurred as you tried to silence the tingles that still hummed across the length of your legs. A reminder of how throughly he had disentangle you, how throughly his very essence had penetrated into you.
You were ruined by him.
There was no going back from this. You knew that.
What scared you was the realization that you didn’t want to.
You just didn't know how to admit that out loud where everyone and he could hear you.
Your eyes seeked out for him as if that alone could answer all your questions. He returned back against you without a question. Hands finely adjusted the strap of your dress and drew you closer to him with a soft voice, hoarse from the strain of everything he’d given you. "Come here, angel." Bundled you up in his arms and then only did he breathe out.
Your breath stayed differing. “Why do you call me that?” Your voice was curious but tentative. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.”
You felt his lips curve up against your temple. "You were wearing this really pretty white dress the first time I met you." he began, his voice quiet, almost wistful. “Had these frills on the sleeves. I thought you looked like an angel."
You tried to piece together the memory. “That was so long ago."
It might be understood that it takes months to fall in love but Jungkook had been falling all his life.
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagine#jungkook oneshot#bts jungkook#bts fanfic#bts au#jungkook#bts scenarios#jeon jungkook#bts namjoon#bts seokjin#bts yoongi#bts jhope#bts jimin#bts taehyung#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jk#fyp tumblr#jeon jungkoooook#bangtan#bangtan fic#bts#bts x reader
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Stuck in TWST without meds
and also they're yandere or something
@shironakuronatasa here you go pookie <3
Because everyone is different, I'm gonna be focusing on the meds I take and the things I experience! If you're inspired to write one of your own based on your types of meds, go for it! I'd love to see others' takes on this :3
I'm still writing in 2nd person, but you/mc is heavily based off of me!
(And if you still want a personalized one but don't want to write it, my commissions are open/hj)
Tw for one mention of suicidal ideation.
Imagine...
You don't quite have a clusterfuck of things going on in your head, but sometimes it can feel like it. Autism, Anxiety, depression, and ADD. Thankfully, you have access to medication, and they work well for you.
Although you can't keep the downward spiraling from the depression and anxiety away completely, it is far more manageable with your medication. You've found that when off them, you are far more prone to completely fall apart at even the slightest inconvenience. It feels like constant stormy waters, with stormclouds that only make the waves worse. But when on them, the storm disappears. Yes, the waves still get rocky and tip your boat from side to side, but you're emotionally stable enough to handle them.
Then the meds for your ADD. With them you have the razor sharp focus to not only take care of projects and work, but also to simply take care of yourself. When off of those, even simple tasks like taking out the trash can take hours, especially since you so easily forget steps, and will stop the chore in the middle, genuinely thinking it's complete.
But you have your meds, so you manage just fine.
Until you're sucked into Twisted Wonderland.
First of all, even if you had already taken the meds for anxiety/depression, there's not much they could do in the face of being transported and consequently trapped in a different dimension. But they do still help, and instead of bawling, you manage to keep a cool (enough) head and get yourself settled into Ramshackle.
But they don't last you long. They had built up in your system enough to last you a few days, but time and circumstances were not on your side.
Even though Grim is by no means an emotional support pet, and is by all means a little shit, he manages to push his pride aside when he can tell you really need it.
Especially the days where you wonder if death is what will bring you back home...
Grim will act as if he helps you for his own purposes, but he is genuinely there for you.
The others, however...
First of all, quite a few of them don't completely understand... you're extra sad and spacey, but you had some kind of magic to help with it back home, but you don't have them here, and without them you get... sad and spacey?
Riddle probably sees it as some pathetic excuse. It's not until after his overblot that his tune completely changes and he is giving you all the special treatment. Even if you mess up on purpose, even if it's something that really frustrates him, he'll justify it as you not knowing any better. Which is patronizing as hell.
Ace will use it to his advantage. Getting into trouble and having you take the brunt. And you play along with it, because, again, Riddle is treating you like an incompetent child, so you are all for raising Cain with Ace. What Ace really loves about this, though, is that it makes you more willing to hang out with him, and more likely to dislike Riddle.
I imagine Deuce has something going as well, though I don't quite know what, and neither does he. But he finds a kindred spirit in you. Study sessions with him are a MUST, and you share your different study and coping tactics, while he stares at your lovely face.
Trey relishes in caring for you. If you're having any kind of sudden increase in stress or sorrow, he is fucking there. He will scoop you up and take you to the kitchen and treat you with his home baked goodies right then and there. Same with your academics, if you need help with academics, it's to the kitchen for tutoring. And as bad as it is, he finds himself wishing you'd give in and lean on him completely.
Leona will also be there for you in depressive episodes. He sees how you always go to Grim when your upset, notices the little things that Grimm does that helps, and starts subtly using them whenever you're upset. Not even just if it's depression/anxiety related, if you're upset with him specifically he'll start purring in that low register that has your heart slowing. He'll rest his body on your chest as a weighted blanket. He'll let you pet him and comb through his hair. All until all you associate Leona with is safety and comfort–as you should from a mate.
Ruggie is SUCH a little meanie at first! Specifically regarding your ADD. Once he sees how much it genuinely upsets you, though, he'll back off. He does have a manipulative streak, though, and will use your anxiety against you. Any way he can get you to distrust others and seek him out is a good way.
Jack is one who does not fuckin understand at first, but once he does, he's supportive. He asks if there's anyway he can help and you offhandedly tell him about emotional support dogs, and he is locked on. He's embarrassed by it at first, of course, but he can tell how safe it makes you feel, and like Leona he is completely fucking for that. Though he won't just be emotional support, no, he'll be the guard dog chasing away anything that could possibly trigger you.
School is very difficult for you without your ADD meds. You can manage, but it is far more stressful and difficult than it needs to be. So, of course, you have those generously offering to help you–specifically Azul, who's more than willing to help... at a price, of course.
Floyd really likes when you daze off in class... When you're staring blankly, mind thinking about so many things except whatever the professor is droning on about. The way your eyes glaze over, the way you're so focused on whatever the fuck is going on in your head, the way your lips part ever so slightly... All your idle habits are endlessly entrancing to him. And, goes without saying, every single time you're especially depressed, he offers a good squeeze session.
Jade, the manipulative bastard, will purposely set you up for failure so that you feel like you need to go to him for help. Because lord knows Azul will make you pay for it, but not your good friend Jade. Plus, if you ever mention how hiking can help with mood, lord save your soul...
Jamil is such a DICK. He will be degrading you at every second, completely taking over whatever it is you try to do. Even if it has nothing to do with him. God, you remind him of Kalim, but at least you don't have the nerve to be so fucking happy all the time. A sick part of him likes when you're sad. You're less annoying when you're depressed, specifically, without little energy or motivation to do or be anything else. He'd happily take care of you then. He'll do whatever you need done. You'd probably do it wrong anyway.
Kalim feels so fucking seen and understood. He honestly felt like some kind of freak for so much of his life, but you... you're kinda like him! A lot sadder though. Your very existence brightens his life, so he's made it his mission to brighten yours. He also really can't stand it when you're with others. It's so obvious you two are meant for each other! He views your shared ADD symptoms as evidence of soulmateship.
Vil is another case of not fully understanding. You're making excuses. Until he takes it a bit too far, pushes even more than what you can handle, and you fully break down in front of him. You're so completely and utterly vulnerable in that moment. He doesn't know if it's a very dedicated manipulation tactic to get out of his nitpicking, but... he becomes a little more sympathetic with you. Vil recognizes that, for whatever reason, you do in fact seem to struggle more with certain things. And yet, despite that, you still try. You continue push yourself, even if what youre pushing towards is, by other people's standards, the norm/mediocrity/minimum. And in you he starts to see a bit of himself. Especially since, let's face it, with depression, anxiety, and add, it is very likely you relate more to Vil than you do Niege. He helps you, and in turn you help him, though you don't even realize it. Helping you be happier with yourself helps him be happy with himself. And he'll fucking slaughter anyone who takes you away from him.
Rook, like Vil, is easily able to recognize how much you not only struggle, but how much you try. And he finds that incredibly beautiful. Needless to say, he is often watching you. Everything you do is enchanting. He memorizes every. single. stim. and habit. Sometimes when you get frustrated, he just wants to scoop you up in his arms and shower you in kisses, but then you'd realize he broke into your room...
Epel will see how much you get pushed around, and takes it upon himself to defend you. He also sees a bit of himself in you. Sometimes he purposely waits around you, and at the first sign of trouble, he'll attack.
Sometimes you just get too fucking overstimulated and you need a break. And in those times, you've found Idia to be the best person to go to. You both started off pretty distant. You approached him, upset, and asked for a quiet place. You put in headphones and just laid down right there. The two of you just sat in silence, with headphones in, doing your own things, blocking out the world. And, oh, how Idia came to crave those moments. He began to depend on you for comfort, ans hoping that you would similarly come to depend on him. You're different from those other normies, you're the only one who gets him so please just stay with him! He will start to modify his room to be the perfect sensory room, the only place in the school you can go to fully regulate yourself. He starts going out with you, acting as if you're really helping him step out of his shell, when really he just wants to spend more time with you, and will continue to shy away from everyone else and hide behind you. This man desperately needs you to need him as desperately as he needs you.
You are so. Fucking. Cute. Malleus finds your every single quirk so fucking attractive. He doesnt like, however, seeing you so upset. So sad. And the kind of sad where he is helpless to help you. He also really doesn't like it when you're upset at yourself. Don't you realize you're perfect? And who cares if you're not good at any of the school stuff? Malleus doesn't. You don't need any of those skills anyway, with Malleus Draconia here to always take care of you.
if you want the rest of diasomnia or the secret character I subtly didn't include lmk
part two out now!!
#yes i’m referencing the eels mouth open thing again leave me alone#yandere#yandere rambles#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twst floyd#twst headcanons#yandere twst headcanons#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce spade#yandere trey clover#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere jack howl#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere azul x reader#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper#yandere epel felmier#yandere rook hunt#yandere vil schoenheit#yandere idia shroud#yandere malleus draconia#yandere headcanons
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"He wants to take me golfing," Buck pouts, and Tommy raises a brow.
"Evan, I'm doing some of my best work, here." His breath brushes over a nipple as he shifts, and Buck still absolutely wants him to keep doing what he's doing but also, he wants to complain.
"I didn't even do it on purpose! I - the tackle was instinct, okay, I should have just -."
"Yes, please tell me how you should have just let Gerrard play out a Final Destination death in your firehouse, you cold blooded killer."
He nips at Buck's chest, tips the sharp edge of his chin against Buck's sternum. Buck sighs. They'll get back to the other stuff.
"Okay of course I don't want him to be dead. I just also don't want him to be grateful to me for saving his life."
"You don't have to say yes," Tommy intones, and Buck sort of wishes he'd heard that six hours earlier. Tommy blows out a breath of laughter. "You already said yes."
"What else was I supposed to do? He was lying there all pathetic and - and pale and mustachioed!"
"You looked that up to make fun of Eddie."
"Of course I looked it up to make fun of Eddie, it just worked out that I have two freaks with mustaches in my life."
"So that's a no go on me growing out my own whiskers."
Buck tucks a finger sideways over Tommy's top lip and squints. "Stop trying to distract me from my rant."
"But I really want to distract you from your rant."
"Fine. I feel stupid for agreeing to golf with that asshole and if you grow out a mustache I'd prefer the whole beard so until you retire I'm gonna have to settle for clean shaven."
"Settle?"
"You can go back to doing what you were doing."
Tommy looks like he's considering it, but instead he digs a finger into Buck's ribs. "Settle?"
"The 72 off stubble on day three is nice," Buck admits, and enjoys the rasp when he slides a hand over 36-hours off growth. "Let me enjoy all the manly things I find attractive about you."
Tommy looks like he wants to argue, so ever the contrarian, he instead returns to mapping out the dips and hills of Buck's ribcage with his mouth. Buck thinks he hears some grumbling about 'show you settle' but he's too busy winding himself back up to fully catch it.
Tommy's lips catch the underside of one pec and Buck shifts. "It's just - I don't even like golf." and Tommy just sighs and shifts his weight up into one elbow to make himself a present audience for Buck to whine some more.
#bucktommy#bucktommy ficlet#referencing fd just for the meta reminder that james wong directed that episode
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Been seeing alot of spiderman Kinich content on the clock app and this gave me an idea
Reader gets gwen stacy'd and kinich fails to save them lol then he wakes up and then they bang
──── through the phone mask
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⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. before he goes, how about a peck, yeah through his mask!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. spiderman!kinich x gn!afab!reader (this will end up in smut, so !!NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!) angst + comfort (in a way?? death mention but no actual death happens! just a bad dream)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. oooo i could not stop thinking about this during class!!
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"mwa!" you cheer- briefly backing away as you admire you boyfriend, kinich, that puts his mask on. you pray that this spiderman stuff didn't pressure him at all.
"mmm... one more?" as he turned around to face you again. you chuckled as you tilted your head, stepping closer to the window sill he crouched on. "one more? i think you've had enough for today." a teasing tone present in you sonorously.
he gave you a pleading look in hopes to earn accolade (in which this case is a kiss. or two. or three.) you could giggle, feeling the way he still tried to kiss you through the mask he wore, concealing his identity to all, except you of course.
"mmmwa!" you brush your lips against the fabric that kept all of this a secret. you were so pretty when you smiled. he likes that little dimple that appears on your cheek when you grinned- or maybe the mole on your neck right there. mmmaybe he should count them soon.
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but when there's a moment where kinich saves everyone but you, he'd never forgive himself. when there's a moment where kinich can catch everyone when they're falling but you. when there are gonna be moments that only star him, and missing you. like how a seed would long for a soil bed, or how the moonlight doesn't shine without its sun.
he was terrified of losing someone as precious as you were. for as long as you both lived, he wanted to spend as much time with you. his love language was all about spending time with you, and doing things for you, he knew you could handle yourself, but he loves knowing you rely on him for a few things (even if they're simple). so losing you would be losing a huge part of himself.
in all the years you both got to spend together, you spent it along side your best wingwoman; mualani. growing up by both of your sides, he never felt alone, or unneeded. he felt everything was finally coming together.
so when he saw the scene before him- it was you. being stabbed in the stomach by a spike below the now-broken bridge. even in death you were so pretty. your head was laid down on his lap, barely opening your eyes, just enough to let a few tears trickle down the softness of your cheeks.
"i'm.. sorry i couldn't do enough for you." were the words you whispered, holding his cheek before finally passing on to the next world.
no he couldn't handle the scene at all. and only now is when he realizes- he should spend more time. he'll make sure you won't feel like that when he meets you again. he knows he'll recognize you. he'd know you from anywhere, anytime, any appearance, anywho.
kinich wakes up in tears, clear tear stains on the place he rest his face into. your pjs have small marks, drops of tears where they'd landed off his face. your eyes flutter open a few seconds later, realizing he's no longer in your arms.
"kin? wh.. what's wrong? why are you crying?" you immediately got up to wipe the small sobs off his cheeks. "..you're still here.. thank god, you're still here." he suddenly hugs you, fitting his head into your nape. his hold was tight, and affectionate. enough to know that he's happy that you're still present.
"yeah, i'd never leave. was.. was it a dream?" you asked, massaging his scalp to soothe his stress. he could only hum in response, he felt a little pathetic to admit that he was, but it was the first step to accepting it.
"do.. you ever feel like i'm mistreating you?" his head popped up from the spot it was previously. "what? no you're not. in fact, i feel like i'm not doing enough for you, baby." you chuckle, shifting your head to front him a little better.
"you've done more than you think for me." his hand held a soft grasp on your palm, you could feel a few scars on his hand. "really? i find it hard to believe." you let out a giggle, certainly a superhero who does things to make sure the city is a safe place for all, feels like you do more? that was in your point of view anyway.
"may.. i show you how much i can repay you then? i want to show you.. i want you to feel how thankful i am that you're here."
whatever it was in that dream of his definitely helped yours come true. "mmm, someone's ahhn- enjoying, ngh themselves.." he grunted out, hitting you from behind so good, you can't do anything but sit there and take it.
you could feel every little ridge on his dick, the sweat emitting from your body, combined with the drops spouting from the pores of his palms. damn you couldn't even hold your own moans back in courtesy for the people in the next dorm. "mmmffffuckkk.. s'good kin.." you whined, you shut your eyes in ectasy
he throws his head back, groaning at the sight of your plush ass barely swallowing his shaft each time. every shlick only made you even wetter. you could feel his length twitching inside you, each time he hit your very core.
your folds felt so insanely good, wrapping around the base of his dick so well, even inside you it felt so warm. the way you were basically getting stretched out, it reached even further into you, in his observation seeing how your eyebrows knitted- he assumed you liked it like that, kissing your insides!
he slowed the pace of his sloppy thrusts briefly to reach over for the phone on the nightstand. "you mind if we take a photo, pretty? love the way you look right now, 'd hate to miss such a face."
he'd be too busy admiring your face to realize how long he'd been grinding against your precious spot. he knew exactly how to make you use the expressions he wanted.
kissing your neck hungrily, making sure you face the camera as it recorded, letting it see all of you.
watching how your body reacted to his so well, he couldn't help but coo into your ear about how good you were doing.
"such a pretty kitty, mmm? and they're all mine aren't they? he continued, on the edge of the bed- making sure you see yourself in the mirror in front of you.
"this is what i admire everyday. hnnn.. s'tight, fffuck.." he groaned into you, letting you sit on his dick, riding it while watching his reaction through the mirror.
you couldn't help but piston your hips repeatedly, you were already so wet, might as well put it to use!
he held your hand throughout everything, squeezing it every now and then to indirectly ask if you're doing okay. kissing down from your nape to your shoulder blades, you were perfect from the ground till your ears.
for what seemed like the umpteenth time, he cums inside you. warm seed shoots up into your body, creaming on his cock at the same time.
kinich who holds you by the waist, feeling his cock slowly soften inside you. still trying to catch his breath- but still makes an effort to kiss your cheek.
still makes an effort to carry your trembling body to the bathroom. still makes an effort to clean you up. still makes an effort to eat you out slowly afterwards.
he who already misses you while you were still in the room. he couldn't help but cuddle with you for a bit before going out again. it was sunday already anyway, and he spent the moments where the sun rose elsewhere (eating you out/giving bj)
kinich who loved the idea of making out with you right after, still having to go out since you both spent the whole night.. intimately. half of his mask is still on but all you do is lift it up a little, enough for his lips to be visible enough for you to peck.
he makes sure you're sound asleep before he goes, he'll be back before you know it anyway.
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#──── resin: performances#──── resin: custom play#genshin drabbles#genshin headcanons#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact smut#smut#x reader#pwp#kinich smut#kinich x reader smut#kinich x reader#genshin kinich#kinich#genshin smut#genshin impact x you#genshin x gn reader#genshin x female reader
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Breaking Dishes - Rafe Cameron One Shot
+18 Minor DNI
CollegeStudent!Rafe x CollegeStudent!Reader
🪄 re-uploaded because I had to make a new account
⭐ republished ⭐
+18 Minor DNI
🪄 Warning: SMUT, lots of pet names, lovey Rafe, friends to lovers, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), unprotected p in v
📖 Rafe’s best friend helps him make the best of his buzz cut era and he gets whatever he’d like in exchange.
✨"Do you think about me a lot, y/n?" He breathes.
"Yes," you press out the word through a moan.
"And you wanted to know what my hands could do. Didn't you? I've seen the way you look at me," he taunts. "Are they doin' it for you, Y/N?" He works you a little harder.✨
2.8k (<- mostly smut)
Readers POV:
“It hurts.”
“Does it hurt? Or does it itch? There’s a difference.
"Both, Y/N… This is fuckin’ stupid.”
“No. Nah. Nope… What was stupid was the fact that you, a grown-ass man, didn’t know how to do his own laundry.”
“That’s what you’re for.”
You flick your eyes from his hair to the mirror, catching him with your death stare. “Keep going." He gives you a shit-eating grin, making you fight off a smile of your own.
"This has to be done." He looks at his hair in the mirror, the bleach altering his dark blonde buzz to an icy white.”
“Almost," you sing, running your polished nail through the bleach, eyeing your work.
"And I get whatever I want if I do this. Yeah?”
“Anything you’d like.”
Anything.
It started simply with you and Rafe. He looked like a pouty little man-child, holding his Ralph Lauren polo by the shoulders, his privilege showing as he eyed the streaked bleach stain across the front. This sort of shit had gone on for days. First, it was no detergent, then fabric softener only, followed by straight bleach on the third day. He looked pathetic, desperate to accomplish this simple task. You helped him on the fourth day, sparking a friendship in the process, making your first year at college a little easier.
There was so much stuff he just didn’t know how to do… Stuff that he could fully figure out on his own, but if he did… Then, he wouldn’t need you. And both of you knew that.
There was a spark. There always was. But this time, it was a loaded exchange. You do this for me, and I’ll do anything you’d like, Rafey.
“Purple shampoo?” He mumbles.
“I’m being proactive. Gotta tone it. Don’t question it,” you giggle, emulsifying the shampoo, watching the suds and bleach swirl down the sink. “Gah… Looks so fucking good." He grunts in reply. "Stay here." You run over to the rack, grabbing a fluffy white towel. "Stop!”
“What? Why? It’s my hair, Y/N. Jesus fuck.”
“‘Cause… It’s a surprise," you practically growl out the words through your excitement, swathing the towel around his head, pawing out the water.
"What am I gonna do if this looks like shit?”
“It won’t. It won’t," you smile. "What are you gonna tell Topper?"
"That I lost a bet. I don’t know. You’re takin’ advantage of me, y/n.”
“You’re the only person I know with a buzz cut, Cameron. It fits your aesthetic. Lean into it.”
“I’m not leaning into shit.”
“Stand up.” You feel your cheeks redden as Rafe rises from his hunched-over position in the sink, his muscular frame bare, just a pair of gray sweats on his tight body. “You blushing, Y/N?" He asks as a cocky smile spreads on his lips. You bite yours, casting your gaze away as you try to collect yourself. "I look that good. Huh?" He taunts, hooking his finger under your chin, guiding your gaze to his. You stare into reach beautiful baby blues, feeling your heart start to race.
"Yeah, Cameron.”
He bites his cheek, holding back an all-too-wide smile as his cheeks redden as well. You reach up, tapping the high point of his face, silently calling him out. “Got me," he whispers, making your heart flutter. "Alright… So, can I look?" You smile and nod. Rafe turns on his heels, eyes widening as he takes himself in. He goes through all the emotions at once, landing on a meh. His lip tugs slightly, shoulders shrugging in acceptance."It’s not that bad…”
“I love it," you praise, smiling brightly back at him.
"You’re way too fuckin’ excited about this, Y/N.”
“Nah… You wouldn’t get it.”
“M'Kay. What now?” He cops a slight attitude, unenthused with the rest of your request. You snatch your phone out of your pocket, flicking to your camera, turning it on record. “NO!" He rips it out of your hand, turning it off before passing it back.
"What…" You pout.
"The fuck do you have to record this for?”
“Me!”
“What are you gonna do with it, Y/N? This goes nowhere.”
“It’s just for me, Rafey. Jesus Christ. Calm your tits.”
“Don’t tell me to calm my tits," he huffs. "I’m so fuckin’ serious, Y/N.”
“I promise,” you answer earnestly. “And, you have to say the thing.”
“I forgot.”
“Bullshit.”
“When?” He crosses his arms before his chest, his hip popped slightly.
“After I start the song, of course,” you tease. “Alexa play Breaking Dishes by Rihanna.”
“This is weird,” he snips, looking down at you disgustingly.
“It’s alright, baby girl. You don’t have to get it.”
“Don’t call me baby girl, Y/N,” he huffs as the song starts to build.
“Fine. Alright, Rafey. Lights, Camera, Action.”
“A man, a man, a ma-a-a-an…”
Rafe rolls his eyes and sucks his teeth, throwing his arms to his sides. His ab muscles flex more than before, making you squeal internally. Fuck, he looks good. Your eyes widen, threatening him with your glare to say his fucking line. “Snow always lands on top.”
“Ah! Yes, Rafey!” You press the little red button, ending the recording, letting out a delighted squeal before jumping into his arms. His eyes fall down your body, roaming back up nice and slow. Rafe’s gaze gets stuck on your lips, wetting his own, tension building between the two of you as you wait to see if he’ll ask for what you both want.
“You know, Y/N… I wouldn’t do this shit for anybody else," he mumbles.
"I know," you smile. "So, what do you want, Rafe?" You ask, drawing his focus back to your gaze.
"Helped you set up that big mirror last week," he rasps.
"Mhmm…”
“Wanna fuck you in front of it, Y/N." You feel your stomach flip, your heart instantly picks up pace.
"Oh.”
“That okay?" He asks, leaning in slightly.
"Yeah… That’s okay.”
“You want that?" He smiles; his lips mere centimeters from yours, breathing softly against yours.
"Yeah.”
“Words, Y/N," he whispers.
"I want you to fuck me in front of the mirror, Rafe," you respond, voice hoarse and breathy as your nerves start to get the better of you. Everything fades away as Rafe’s lips crash into yours, taking your breath away, claiming your mouth against his. Heat rolls over your skin. Your body starts to tingle, hands moving from his neck, wrapping around his broad shoulders tightly, drawing him closer. His lips are sweet, just like you expected. A soft moan escapes your lips, landing in his. You feel him smile against your kiss, making you do the same.
"You sure this is okay?" He mumbles between kisses as he walks with you into your bedroom.
”Perfect.“ Rafe’s tongue slips through your lips, greeting yours, rolling softly with your rhythm. Fuck… He draws back from you, looking at the two of you in the mirror.
"First thing I thought about when you asked me to put this up, Y/N. Been thinkin’ about it ever since.”
“Yeah?" You smile as you look back into his blue jean eyes. "Why do you think I bought it?" His smile shifts to a smirk at the sound of your admittance. Rafe sets you down, making quick work of your clothing, peeling it off between kisses. You bite your lip as your fingers dance over the indentations of his muscles, working down to his waistband, his slutty gray sweats. You work the material over his thighs and down to his ankles. He kicks them off, just a pair of white cotton Calvin’s on his large frame. You take your time, revealing his thick cock inch by inch. His dick springs free, standing straight; a bead of cum gathered on his swollen tip.
His rough fingers ghost over your soft skin. Rafe takes hold of your breasts, pressing them together. His touch lightens, feather-soft circle over your nipples. "Rafe," you whine as you throw your head back. His mouth quickly greets your skin, sucking harshly, skimming and flicking your hardened nipple with his tongue. His hands roam down your body as his lips return to yours. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. It’s happening. Rafe’s hand disappears between your thighs, making you moan. He runs his finger along your silk.
"So fucking wet for me, y/n," he hums, turning you to face the mirror. You feel your whole body start to pulse, every nerve firing hot. Rafe’s fingers meet your bud, circling softly. You’d always look at his hands, wondering what they could do.
"Feels so good," you whine, causing him to chuckle sinfully. Rafe pulls another moan out of your parted lips, his dark gaze matching yours over your shoulder. He adds a second finger, curling it inside of you, thrusting in and out. Rafe moves his thumb to your clit, adding a little more pressure.
"I’ve always wanted you," He growls, lips grazing your ear.
"Yeah," you mewl.
"Do you think about me a lot, y/n?" He breathes.
"Yes," you press out the word through a moan.
"And you wanted to know what my hands could do. Didn’t you? I’ve seen the way you look at me," he taunts. "Are they doin’ it for you, Y/N?" He works you a little harder.
"Yes! Yes." You cry. Your thighs start to tremble. Rafe’s lips lock on your neck, licking you, marking you as his own. "I’m gonna cum.”
“I know, baby. I know," he whispers against your skin. ”Can you be a good girl and cum when I tell you?“
”Rafe, I… S-Shit.“ Your eyes flick open, resting on him as you fight back your pleasure, Rafe working against you, trying his very best to push you over the holding.
"Cum.”
“Fuck!" You lose yourself, fluttering around his fingers. He continues to please you, toiling harder and quicker than before. Your lips crash into his, cries of pleasure against his mouth. The two of you are breathing heavily. Rafe sucks off your bottom lip slowly.
"I can’t wait to have you, y/n," he groans huskily. ”Fuck. That was beautiful.“ Rafe wraps his strong arms around your waist, holding you tightly. "How was that, baby?” He drawls.
“Fantastic… Holy shit.”
His hands fall down your skin, landing on your hips, turning you before pulling you close. Rafe circles your ass, squeezing you, giving you a little spank. Your urges are too strong. You just can’t resist.
You throw yourself in his arms, lips locking with his. He moans into your kiss, tongue rolling with yours. Your hands grasp the front of his thighs, nails sinking in slightly.
You drag your fingers down his tight body. A smile spreads on Rafe’s lips as you wrap your hands around his thick dick.
“Shit, y/n," he chuckles raspily as you fall to your knees.
"Can I suck your cock, Rafey?”
“Mmm… Mhmm," he groans, a lusty chuckle leaving his lips. ”Hell fucking yes, Y/N.“ You feel your confidence building by the moment. You swirl your tongue on his velvety head, collecting his precum on your tongue. Rafe takes a sharp breath, followed by a loose, drawn-out moan.
"I’ve always wanted you in my mouth, Rafe," you pant. You trace the head of his shaft, lips close, breathing warmly against him. "Do you want my mouth?" You whisper onto his tip, his lashes flutter.
"Ugh, Shit. Yes, y/n," he groans. "I need your mouth on my cock." His voice is coarse and delicious, driving you wild. You flatten your tongue, licking him from base to tip. Rafe’s fingers rake through your hair, his hands gripping the back of your head.
His hips thrust into your mouth slowly, pushing you to see how far he can go. He draws out, your tongue swirls to the tip. "Fuck me, Y/N," Rafe hums. The grip on your hair tightens.
Each thrust is deeper than the next, a soft swirl to his tip. Your eyes start to water. Rafe readjusts his stance, his eyebrows furrowing. Bringing your hands up to his balls, you play with them as well. Rafe bites his lips, grunting with each thrust as he starts to buck his hips into your mouth. You’re choking on his cock, tears streaming down your cheeks. You bring your fingers down to your warmth, pleasing yourself as well.
”Y/n,“ Rafe grunts, taking notice; his breathing increases. "You’re going to make me cum, baby," he sears. He adjusts his stance, thighs quaking. ”Mmm… Y/n. I can’t wait to have you. I’m going to fuckin’ ruin you, Y/N,“ he growls, eyes pinched shut. Hollowing your cheeks, you increase your suction, causing his lips to part. You feel his dick twitch on your tongue. Rafe thrusts into you roughly, his climax spilling deep into your throat. He throws his head back again, holding yours against him as you scratch your nails along his ass. "Y/n, f-fuck," he pants, breathing rapidly. ”Ugh… Holy shit.“ You come off him slowly, eyes set on him. "Best blowjob of my life..”
“Stop,” you giggle.
“Fuck, y/n. I mean it." He helps you to your feet, quickly pulling you in tightly. He presses a kiss against your forehead, breathing rapidly, still coming down from his climax. "Can’t wait to taste you, Y/N?”
“M'so wet…" You hum, fanning the flame. His eyes darken, trailing your curves before tossing you down on the bed. You feel your pussy throb, craving Rafe’s lips; his fingers; his cock. He wraps his arms around your thighs, drawing you toward his face.
You throw your arms above your head, arching your back as his tongue glides through your silk. "Shit," you mewl as you feel the warmth of his mouth, and the whisper of his breath against your sex. Rafe buries himself between your thighs, nose brushing your clit; tongue dipping into your entrance. Your heart starts to race again. You prop yourself up on your elbow, meeting his stare. Drawing your hands up your body, you take hold of your breasts. Rafe moans against your pussy, watching as you play with yourself.
He whispers your name softly against your clit; you toss your head back. Feeling the roughness of his hand against your stomach, working higher. Rafe palms your breast, rolling your nipple softly between his fingers. You feel your pleasure building. Your body moves, grinding your hips to get a little more friction. Rafe’s hand lowers, your anticipation builds. He licks a line up your slit. His fingers toy with your entrance. "Rafe, please," you wail, your thighs widening, pressure building in between. "Ugh… Fuck!" You cry. Rafe sinks two fingers deep, his soft lips sucking roughly. Your thighs start to quiver as he thrusts his digits in and out.
”Can you cum on my fingers?“ He breathes. "Can you soak my hand for me?”
“Yes… Yes.”
“Mmm… My cock’s gonna feel so good sliding in and out of this pretty pussy, Y/N.”
“Yes!" You punch out the word, back arching off the bed. You feel your release, just like he asked, making a mess of his hand as you grip the sheets. You can hear the sound of it. His fingers working sloppily, in and out.
"Baby…" You stutter, relaxing around his fingers, craving more. Rafe grips your hips in his strong hands, tugging you even closer to the edge. You tilt your head up, watching as he takes a grip on his cock, hard and throbbing. Your eyes shift as he guides himself closer. He seizes himself by the base, tapping his dick against your clit. Your thighs tremble with each touch, spurs of pleasure, your sensitivity at an all-time high.
"So fucking wet," he praises. Rafe’s hands shift, taking a harsh hold on the back of your thighs, pressing them to your chest. "Mmm… Hold these f'me," he groans. You relax your head to the side as Rafe runs his tips through your silk, his eyes meet yours in the mirror, a smile spreading on his lips.
His mouth parts, mirroring yours as his cock starts to stretch you out. You let out a soft whimper, your eyebrows knit as he gives you all of him. Every inch pushes you to your limit; your eyes roll back as he draws out, quickly thrusting back in.
Your hands grab his forearms, holding on tightly, drawing him closer, pulling him deeper. "Look at me, Y/N," he moans, his eyes shifting from the mirror, driving into yours. He leans into you, folding you in half, pinning your thighs against the bed as he kisses you deeply. Your tongues intertwine, moaning and blissful cries are exchanged between your lips.
You separate slightly, breathing rapidly, lips hovering close. His skin slaps against yours, your forehead, nestled against his. "You’re so fuckin’ beautiful," he pants.
”God, this feels so good.“
"So good, baby," he echoes. Rafe picks up speed, feeling your walls drawn in around him. His strong hands grip your hips, using them as leverage to drive deeper.
You throw your head back, eyes shut tight as you feel yourself about to fall apart. Your mouth draws open, a string of curses and praise flow freely. Rafe’s lips lock onto your nipple, sucking hard.
"Rafe. Fuck!” Your pleasure releases, your body pulses around his shaft. Your hands reach for him, pulling slightly, tugging him toward your lips. Rafe picks you up swiftly, taking a seat on the bed, his cock still deep inside.
“Are you okay?" He pants with a smile.
"So good… So fucking good.”
You start rolling and grinding your hips on top of him. Rafe starts to bounce on the mattress. His breathing increases; you can tell he’s close. Grabbing his shoulders, you press him down on the bed. Rafe’s hands squeeze your ass tightly, guiding you, setting a rapid tempo. “Fuck… Ugh," he whimpers. "I’m gonna cum.” He takes you by surprise, drawing out quickly, rolling you to your back.
He plunges back in, reaching for air as he grunts and moans incoherent words. “I’m cumming… Shit," he groans as he climaxes. Rafe continues to drive his release deeper. He presses his lips and body against yours, rocking slowly to a stop.
"Holy shit…." he pants, holding you close. Rafe nuzzles himself into your neck, breathing rapidly as he kisses you softly. You sigh blissfully, relaxing into the bed, giving him better access to your skin. His lips work over your neck, moving up to your jaw.
"So…" he whispers.
"So," you giggle, your heart racing rapidly against his.
"I like you, Y/N, if that’s not clear. And that… Fuck. That was so damn good," he groans blissfully.
"I like you too," you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently.
"And, just so we’re crystal clear, you pictured yourself fuckin’ me and not…" He points to his hair, narrowing his eyes on yours.
"Rafe? No, President Snow. Of course, I pictured myself fucking you and not Rafe Cameron.”
“Brat." He spanks your ass, making you yelp.
"Fuck, Rafe!” You whine as you look back, watching the print shift from white to red.
“Ah, shit. You don’t like it rough, Y/N?" He taunts through a snickering laugh. You lower your lips to him, brushing gently.
"You owe me now, Rafey… Round two. I like it rough.”
my masterlist 🔮
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#rafeyscurtainbangs library 📚#rafe#rafecore#soft!rafe cameron#soft!rafe x reader#boyfriend rafe#rafe x reader#rafe smut#rafe x fem!reader
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Jealous Eddie. That’s it. Gimme some jealous Eddie 🫠😈
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MINE
Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader Smut
warnings- obviously don’t read if you’re not 18 or older! Eddie is a little rough in this one but nothing crazy. Slapping, spanking, hair pulling, dirty talk, jealousy, he degrades us some, p in v, mentions of bruising from hip grabbing.
word-count// 706
thank you @reidsbtch for beta reading, I love you mariah! thank you all for reading, feedback is always welcome!
“Say it, tell me he couldn’t fuck you this good.” Eddie whispers against your ear, his hips pressed flush against your ass. His cock buried deep inside of you as you try to keep yourself awake, almost passing out from the pleasure coursing its way through your body. Your hands slip down the wall in front of you, almost causing you to fall but Eddie has a death grip on you, grabbing your hips so hard you know they’ll bruise later.
“P-promise he doesn’t, don’t want him Eddie, only you, just you please fuck me.” You whine out, grinding your ass back against him, a hard spank landing down onto you causing a red flush to spread across one of your cheeks. “Say it again, tell me you want me to defile you, tell me you love having me this deep inside of you.” You fight the urge to roll your eyes, wanting him to ruin you already, your body shakes as Eddie’s cock rubs up against your g-spot making you feel like you could cum already. “You are mine.” He says waiting for you to answer him.
You do your best to whimper out how much you need him but he’s impatient with you, spanking you a few times and biting out how it’s ‘not good enough.’ You cry out as he pushes you forward towards the wall, holding his hand on the back of your head causing your face to press up against it almost painfully. “Pathetic, can’t even say one simple thing baby, you sure you want just me? I saw how you blushed when he complimented you, don’t think that I’m stupid little girl.” A harsh thrust followed his words, causing your legs to shake.
You can’t focus on anything other than Eddie, you loved when he got jealous, sure you maybe had blushed earlier today when the two of you were out at a restaurant. A man had told you how beautiful you were, but you thought nothing of him other than how flattering it was to get complimented. You ducked your head down shyly as he walked away from your table, only to look back up again to see Eddie seething. That’s how you had ended up in this little situation, Eddie’s body mounted over yours, the sound of skin slapping against each other mixed with breathy moans filling your room.
“Such a little slut, blushing at other men’s compliments, should’ve asked him to come back home with us so he could see me split this pussy open. Bet he’d cum in his fucking pants wouldn’t he like a fucking pervert.” You scream out as one of his big hands tangles itself in your hair, yanking back harshly to pull you up against his chest. “Go on, I can feel how much you wanna let go, cum on my cock baby, let me feel what he wishes he could have.”
You cry out as Eddie pushes one of his fingers into your mouth, hooking it onto the side and causing the drool that was pooling inside to slip out, running down your chin and onto your chest, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about anything when Eddie was treating you like a sex toy. “Fuck oh my god!” You scream out, your orgasm practically ripping its way through your body, your knees buckle, as Eddie presses you flat up against the wall, laughing behind you as tears slip down your cheeks. He pulls his finger from your mouth, slapping your cheek lightly as he keeps thrusting.
“A-aren’t you gonna cum baby?” You choke out, your breath ragged. Another laugh falls from your boyfriend’s mouth, “Oh pretty baby, I’m not even close to being done with you, not cumming until you beg me to stop.” He whispers, his voice gravelly, his breath hot against your ear. You feel your eyes roll back as he pulls you away from the wall, cock still inside of you, pushing you towards his bed.
If Eddie would fuck you like this every time someone flirted with you, maybe you’d flirt back, just to see him snap. Eddie would always make sure to remind you that no one could fuck you the way he can.
taglist <3
@probablyin-bed @chrissymjstan @themellowyellowmomma @strangelysupernatural @sflow1234
#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie smut#eddie x you#eddie x y/n smut#eddie munson x reader
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soobin + cockwarming while on discord with his friends
warnings: nsfw, gn!reader, reader's genitals are also not specified, softdom!soobin, sub!reader, cockwarming, in the end they fuck, kinda exhibitionism??, a little bit of humiliation, everything is consensual tho, unprotected sex, use of pull out method (guys, remember to always use protection!!!), they're so in love fr
!!nsfw under the cut, minors dni!!
it was always like this, soobin playing video games and talking with his friends on discord, while you were bored to death. but you still agreed to visit him every time he asked, knowing damn well he's not even gonna pay attention to you.
well, this time was different tho... a little bit too different, but both of you didn't mind it at all.
"be quiet." he shushed you. his hands on your hips, holding you in place and making it impossible for you to move. his dick deep inside you, making your eyes full of tears. his big cock inside of you were able to make you sob, even without moving at all.
"soobin- please..." you kept on pleading, as quiet as you could. you couldn't take it anymore. how can he be inside, but don't move? pure torture. his headphones were still on his head and the microphone was catching every little sound. goddamn his new headphones, why couldn't he keep his old ones?
"you want them to hear or what?" he asked, not even lowering his tone, with an innocent smile. it made you clench around him, you really couldn't help it... and he couldn't help the groan leaving his mouth for all of the voice chat to hear.
you could hear the questions from his friends, screaming loud enough for you to hear from his headphones. you knew his friends and did it made you even more turned on? of course it did, no matter how embarrassing it was.
your boyfriend was balls deep inside of you while on voice chat with his friends. friends that you met countless times. friends that thought of you as a smart, kinda nerdy, just like soobin, and innocent person.
but what will it be now? will they think you're a slut? just a pathetic slut that can't even leave their boyfriend alone for half an hour and just has to sit on his cock? even when he's talking with his friends? are you seriously that much of a whore that you just can't help, but need him inside of you?
"fuck, baby... calm down. don't tell me you're getting off to this?" now it was just straight up humiliating, but you knew he wasn't wrong at all. but did he seriously needed to tell his friends how much you're clenching around him now? "you like it? that my friends are gonna know how slutty you really are?" he continued, smirking down at you.
it was too much, you couldn't stand it anymore. little did you know it's not the end of his teasing, if you can still call it teasing. he took off the headphones from his head and put it on you. you froze as you heard his friends' comments.
"don't tell me soobin's seriously...", "i'm sorry, but why is it hot as hell", "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON", "at this point you can just turn on the camera too" you recognized their voices, you knew who they were and they knew you too. humiliating.
"stop..." you whined, your face now burried in the crook of his neck, the headphones dropped on the floor.
he suddenly looked worried. he took your cheeks in his hands. "shit, wait, did you meant it seriously? was it too much? god, i'm so sorry, i-" he was in panic now and you couldn't help, but giggle.
it was nice to see his usual self getting back once he thinks you're uncomfortable. because, of course, you two talked about it before starting. he would never do anything like that without your consent and it made your heart melt every time you remembered how soft he truly is.
"soobin, hey, it's alright... i just- yeah, let's end it now, okay?" you said reassuringly and he immidiately hung up from the call.
"i'm so, so sorry, baby... have i done too much? do you want to-"
"soobin, respectfully, shut the fuck up and fuck me already." you interrupted him and moved your hips, making him groan.
"shit, so you seriously liked all of this?" he asked with a soft chuckle.
soon you were both laying on his bed, him on top of you, his cock already inside. your chest pressed into the mattress and your back arched, a little bit painfully. you didn't minded it, because you felt soobin going in and out of you, leaving you with your mouth wide open.
"yeah, just like that, you're doing so good for me... and earlier you took it all so well... you really liked being heard, didn't you? fuck, i love you so much..." he continued whispering sweet nothings into your ear, getting you closer and closer to the edge.
you didn't left him in silence, also mumbling a lot of "i love you"'s every few seconds. your legs felt so weird, you were sure that if soobin stopped holding you, you would fall completely to the mattress.
soon the wave of pleasure finally hit you, making your legs shake more than they already were. you let out a loud moan, probably too loud, but both of you felt too good to care. soobin continued thrusting into you, still chasing his release.
"so pretty..." he whispered before he pulled out and started stroking himself, soon cumming on your lower back and laying right next to you.
you took his hand in yours and smiled softly at him. you felt tired, but not too tired to annoy him a little bit. "i love you... but i'm not cockwarming you ever again."
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a/n: I'M SORRY, BUT I JUST NEEDED TO WRITE THIS, IT WAS IN MY MIND FOR TOO LONG... but yeah, here's my debut on tumblr lmaoo
#txt smut#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#soobin hard thoughts#soobin hard hours#soobin smut#soobin x male reader#soobin x reader#soobin x you#soobin x y/n
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Art the clown x reader headcanons!!
a/n: i said i was gonna do these and i did. enjoy!! ;) forgot to mention that to pretend art won’t kill you.
warnings: this does contain smut headcanons as well! with some T3 spoilers ahead!!
SFW
first and foremost, art the clown is a cuddle monster. you can’t convince me otherwise. he loves coming home after a hard and tiring day to cuddle up next to you. (after you make him wash his ass.)
“art, what the hell are you doing?” you say that at least 5 times a day when he randomly decides so come and lick on your skin. more specifically, behind your ear. his favorite spot. you can’t count how many time you’ve side eyed him. 😂
once you met vicky, you started to become a little jealous about how much time they would spend together. leaving you to wonder if he’s cheating on you with her. but soon enough, he pushes those negative thoughts to the side.
he does ask you to marry him…eventually. is it a normal proposal?? fuck no. nothing is normal about him. you just wake up one day, and poof! there’s one of your work employees that you hate decapitated, with a letter saying ‘will you marry me? till death do us part? i love you, art. ;)’ you really had no choice but to say yes did you? so you did.
after he killed santa in T3 he immediately went to where you were to show you his new look. “wow baby, you look so sexy!” he loves when you compliment his attire. it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. 🥰
he’s a jealous man for real. he hates your friends and family. don’t let him meet them.
he rolls his eyes at you A LOT. so be ready to deal with his sass all damn day. sometimes when he’s being a bitch it pisses you off. “art stop. now.” when you get rough with him he starts to pout and puts on his puppy face. (kinda like the face he did after he took a shot at the bar.)
his serious face a shown way more after the events in T3. when’s he’s pissed off at you, the face comes out to let you know he’s not playing no games. do you stop bitching at him? no. you know he won’t kill you. so you take that as a chance to point out his bullshit when needed.
NFSW
now…let’s get into the freaky stuff. 😈👏🏾
he’s a hard dom. even when you’re on top, he’s a dom. it’s his way or no way even in the bedroom. you can try your absolute hardest to get him to sub but it won’t work. maybe, just maybe, he’ll sub.
good luck asking him to let you cum, that’s rare. very rare. he’ll look at you with the most shit eating grin before going in and out of you faster.
BACKSHOTS!! hard ones at that. in the santa outfit, juts imagine that…how his balls slap against you. his fingers will be all over your body. he acts like they’re glued on you in fact. he won’t take them off of your body until his finished.
speaking of finished, he holds himself back to make you suffer more. he won’t come until a little after you cum, making you become overstimulated quickly. he can’t help but laugh at your pathetic ways.
he LOVES blowjobs. especially after a hard day. he gets lazy, and wants you to do all the work. as always 🙄
he may try to fuck you in the ass (if you’re a girl.) if you’re down, that’s good!! if you’re not, that’s good too!! for a male reader he will definitely like fucking you in the ass. he likes how warm and stretchy it can get, and will stretch it to it’s limits even past that point if you let him.
for my last headcanon in this section, he will cum all over your back and anywhere he finds necessary. hope you like it! :)
#slashers#slashers x reader#art the clown#slashers x y/n#art the clown headcanons#art the clown x you#terrifer 3#terrifier 2#terrifier x reader#terrifier art the clown#art the clown terrifier#art the clown x reader
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I heard you like magic(paige bueckers x reader)
Summary: you walk in on Paige touching herself
I got a wand and a rabbit!!(Chappell roan fans anyone? No just me ok..)
Today was one of the worst days of the week for Paige, it’s one of the days your job requires you to work from the office. She is so attached to you she has crying spells everytime you leave. She’s just a big baby to you and you wouldn’t want that to change.
She missed you badly, so bad in fact she couldn’t stop sniffing your pillows and rubbing her thighs together. Ok so maybe she didn’t just miss you..she was horny for you.
You had set rules for her one being no touching yourself. You told her to wait until you’re available. Paige knew that rule all too well she remembers last time when you fucked her so hard she couldn’t even remember her own name.
Even though it was risky Paige was considering getting off by herself. What you don’t know can’t help you right?
She finally gives in.
She throws her sweatpants and her t-shirt to the end of the bed with urgency. Paige whimpers when the cold air hits her privates. “Mm” she mutters as she sits over the purple pillow of yours.
She brings her hand up to fondle with her nipple and she sighs in pleasure but she needs more.
She lines up her pussy with the edge of the pillow and begins humping at a slow pace. “Fuck” she sighs at the feeling of her pink pussy against the silky smooth pillow. She starts to move faster and her pink nipples bounce up and down and little whines escape her lips.
All she can do is moan your name and imagine your warm hands sliding down her body and gradually moving towards her inner thighs. She imagines you rubbing her puffy clit and kissing her deeply. “Oh shit” she whimpers as she gets deeper into her fantasy.
So deep in fact that she didn’t hear the door creep open. She had no clue she was caught in the act so she continued to hump your pillow like it was life or death.
Instead of interrupting her, you stand there with no expression, just observing your blonde, pathetic girlfriend. Eventually she began to get frustrated with herself because no matter how good she felt she wasn’t close to cumming. Only you have ever held that power.
The longer you saw her the more you started to feel bad that she was struggling. Poor baby. You decided to step in but instead of punishing her you were going to help her get relief, just because you felt nice.
You quietly approached the bed and grabbed Paige’s hips, making her stop. Her eyes shot up to look at you with fear and nervousness behind them. It made you truly feel bad.
“It’s ok Paigey I’m not gonna punish you” you told her with a comforting smile. Her expression changed to a look of confusion. She’s too sweet.
“Sweet girl, I’m gonna help you ok?” You told her as you sat down next to her and pulled her into your lap.
“I know I usually punish you for something like that but you were pitiful, just struggling to feel good” you pout at your blondie. Her cheeks like up red and you chuckle at her shyness. She was too shy to say anything and you let it slide tonight.
You grab her face and bring her into a kiss. She looked so pretty when she’s horny and needy for you. When she whined you slipped your tongue into her mouth and she didn’t even battle with you, she gave into you instantly.
After a couple minute make out you pulled away, making her face drop. “ don’t complain or you’ll get nothing” you tell her sternly.
You found pride in your ability to make your 6,0 d1 basketball player girlfriend crumble underneath your touch.
You tilted her head to the side and started leaving kisses down her neck with your lip gloss leaving spots.
Her lower lip trembled as she waited patiently for the pleasure she was about to receive.
Your kisses started going lower and lower until you found yourself licking her abs. “Mommy?” She looked down at you with puppy dog eyes. “Yes sweetheart?” You loved that she trusted you enough to refer to you as that. “I’m sorry but I can’t-” she cut herself all with a whine.
“Hm” is all you say before ending up between her thighs, directly in front of her soaked pink pussy, so needy for you.
Before she can bitch and moan more you lick a stripe up her folds. She cries out with pleasure tears already rising.
Now you’re lapping at her pussy like an animal, you just can’t get enough of her taste. Her moans are so loud you’re certain the neighbors can hear every word falling from her mouth. “Mm fuck- so good” she whines with her mouth open. She’s so cute when she’s getting fucked.
Her clit is puffy from stimulation and her nipples are swollen from them being sucked and bitten. “Close?” You ask as you hear her signature whine. “Mhm-” she cries as her legs shake and her eyes roll back. Her slick is all over the bed and you both. She squirted.
“Aww baby you squirted” you coo at her and she covers her red face. “No need to be embarrassed Paigey” you rub her back before going to prepare a bath for you both.
You love really love Paige bueckers and she really loves you.
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I felt like feeding yall with sub Paige for now
Anyways I love you whores!!
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Water Colour Eyes
Chapter 2
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Y Batfam x GN Reader
Featuring: Platonic Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne (mostly Jason)
1.8K words
I’m not the biggest fan of this chapter, I tried something new when writing it and it didn’t mix well. Chapter 3 will be a lot better. Any and all advice will be appreciated. Comment if you wanna be added to the Taglist (I hope I did it right)
You’re the first one to get cut, although you were scheduled to work the close Albertine wanted you out of there as soon as possible. Honestly you were thankful, if you stayed there any longer you’d probably break. Roa called in sick, so you were stuck fending for yourself once the Waynes left. You messed up 3 ticket orders, because of Albertine’s new no notepad policy, so you were ridiculed by the kitchen staff for being incompetent. The last 4 hours were brutal, you can’t stop thinking about how hard it is to work there. It’s so isolating, and the staff make you feel so stupid. You just can’t take it anymore, you’ve never been made to feel so incompetent and insecure anywhere else. You feel so pathetic for putting up with it, but where else can you make so much money? Being a freshman in college means your options are pretty limited.
Grabbing your coat and bag you prepare to head down to the subway station. It’s already dark out, but going home at 9:45 is a lot safer than the original 12:00. Getting home early means you’ll have more time to yourself, and you won't be bothered since your mom and her boyfriend haven’t been home for a few days. It’s the little joys in life that matter.
As you make it to the station it’s a little more crowded than usual. Something you're thankful for, there’s safety in numbers even if they’re strangers. Riding the train to your stop, even though you’re able to have the evening to yourself, thoughts of doubt still race in the back of your mind. The walk home from the station is always rough, but you get through it everytime. your lips tremble, hands shake, and eyes water, you just can’t seem to forget all the mistakes you’ve made. Even so you push it all down. You're only 15 minutes away from your apartment, so you can make it home and cry a little while you're taking a shower or something. Just make it home. Just make it home. It’s the only thing repeating in your mind, the only thing keeping you moving.
Wandering like a ghost through the streets, your thoughts distract you from everything. Just make It home. You had only two more blocks to go. Wiping the few tears that spilled down. Just make it home. You're gonna have the place to yourself, you can have a nice long shower without your step dad getting mad at you. Just make it home. You don't work another shift until Tuesday, so you won’t see them for a while. As long as you just make it home.
“Give me your money”
“What” you’re snapped back to reality as you're confronted by some junkie in the alley. “I said gimme your money” he took a few steps closer, as you inched backwards “I- I don't have any on me right now” you stuttered, hoping your answer might satisfy him. Judging from his face it didn’t. God what were you supposed to do. This man looks like he’s got at least 100 pounds on you, not that you could fight him even if you wanted. “I’m sure ya do, if ya just hand it over no one gets hurt”. He’s cornered you, you have nowhere to run now. Your heart begins to race, hands start to tremble and the tears that threatened to spill earlier are pouring down your face. This is it. you have no money on you, this man will likely beat you to death. you do the only thing you can do “HELP! Someone please!”. This pisses him off as he grabs your wrist, your heart stops as you see him raise a hand to punch. This is it.
+++++
Jason was on his usual route, he had about 2 hours to kill before he got to see you. Being the one to make sure you were safe was something he took pride in, and walking home with you was different. You were always at your most vulnerable after work, protecting you while you’re in such a fragile state brings a sense of warmth about him. You make him feel like a good person, a good brother.
The restaurant is only about 3 blocks down from his patrol route for the night, maybe he can just take a quick look, to make sure you're okay. Bruce did say something about you having a rough night or something like that, he wasn’t paying too much attention all he could think of was how he could make your manager pay without pissing Bruce off. As he nears the restaurant he’s thankful he showed up, since you're already on your way to the subway. Following you the rest of the way, it’s clear you did have a rough day. Fists clenching and grinding his teeth, his blood boils. You don't deserve any of this, you deserve nothing less than the best. Bruce’s fucked up plan to drive into despair only to pick you up is one he never agreed with. They should just save you now so nothing bad can happen on the off chance they aren’t around. Then at least you’d be protected and with them. It doesn’t matter if you fight at first cause in time you’d understand. But the family just can’t see his side, and you’re suffering because of it.
He’s never felt so useless before. He sees your pain, and wants nothing more than to lift you into his arms and set you free from all your troubles. But he can't yet, right now he’s Redhood, but soon he’ll be your brother. Only then will he be able to ease your pain, but he knows even after your wounds heal there’ll still be scares, he has them too. One day you’ll both understand each other, you share experiences that no one else in the family has. He’ll help in the way no one helped him.
As he nears the alley, he sees the man grab your wrist harshly and swing his other arm. Before the thug’s fist comes in contact with your face, he shoots, aiming for the fist about to punch you. The rubber bullet cracks and breaks the thugs hand, letting go of your wrist to writhe in pain. Within seconds redhood arrives at the scene accessing the damage. “Are you alright?” he asks, voice deep and robotic from his mask. Mind racing a thousand thoughts a second you barely comprehend what’s happening. “What..” you mutter quietly, voice cracking from the tears you shed minutes ago. “Are you alright?” He asks again, hand resting on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “ I- I don’t know” you mumble to yourself as you begin to zone out into your own world. The stress of school, your mom, her boyfriend and especially work, maybe you aren’t okay? Maybe you just can’t push through anymore? You don't know anything anymore. Quickly snapping back into reality “No I'm fine, don't worry, just a little shaken, I’m normally more careful than that.” You stumble through your words, you hope it’s convincing enough, even if you look like a mess and are a little stressed out Red Hood probably saves hundreds of people in a night you can’t keep him waiting any longer. “Thank you,..” you want to say more but he probably has to head back. Gathering your things from your bag you begin the rest of the 15 minute walk back to your apartment, staying more vigilant than ever but still unaware of the masked hero following you home.
Jason’s mind never felt so separated from his body, all he wanted to do was beat the shit out of that scumbag who dared lay a hand on you. But his feelings were irrelevant, you were the only one that mattered right now. The shadows of the alley couldn’t hide your expression. you looked white as a ghost, eyes puffy and wide, your hands trembled slightly as you picked up your things. It didn’t take a genius to see how distressed you are. He wanted to do anything, say something as you walked away, but he couldn't, his body wouldn’t do anything. So he watched his little sibling walk away when they needed him most, never feeling more pathetic. Only after a few minutes of standing did he gain control, running after you to ensure you got home safely, it’s the least he could do for being a horrible brother back there.
+++++
“I believe it would be best to fire that manager” Damian's voice echoes through the Batcave as he prepares for patrol with his father. “Like I’ve told Dick, it's under consideration” Bruce’s response is curt, he understands the boy’s frustrations but in order to reach their end goal they must be patient with everything. Tim rolls his eyes, he understands why but with their current pace they’ll never grow past the current server customer relationship they have. “Have you at least considered our side of things, we can’t let people treat them like that. They’re running herself thin, they could barely smile at us tonight” Tim’s frustration is evident in his voice, why is Bruce not doing anything he understands the plan, even agrees with it but Albertine crosses a line. Bruce goes to speak but is interrupted by a call from Jason. “Yes” he goes silent as the voice on the other line speaks, his face giving nothing away. “Do you have a name?” He asks, the boys are curious. Is tonight gonna turn into something more than a simple patrol? Did a villain plan something big? “Thank you” as he hangs up, his face still doesn’t give any indication as to what was being discussed. “They were attacked” his voice monotone, but the slight furrow in his brow was a clear indicator for the rage brewing inside him. The two boys freeze, as their blood runs cold, and they seethe with rage. Someone tried to hurt their sister?
“What!? Was Todd not supposed to be watching them?” Damion did nothing to hide his rage, mind racing with different possibilities on how he could hurt his brother for his negligence. “He did, and they weren’t hurt. They got sent home early, be thankful Jason stopped by as they were leaving.” Bruce’s voice was firm, but he was lost in his own thoughts and schemes on how they can better insure your protection without interfering with their progress. “Does he have a name?” Tim asked, visibly more relaxed after knowing you were uninjured. “Greg Capullo” Bruce’s answer was short but the tone gave direct instructions. Go after him, he will turn a blind eye to whatever it is they do. Damian, wasting no time leaves the cave preparing to do his worst, while Tim heads towards the bat-computer preparing to make this man’s life miserable. Tonight was a night the criminals of Gotham would remember, as the Bats were far more brutal in every aspect than they have ever been before.
Taglist: @lilyalone @pix-stuff @caged-birdies-blog @toast-on-dandelioms
#batfam x reader#platonic batfam#yandere batfam#yandere dc#yandere x reader#platonic yandere#gn reader#yandere dc x reader#yandere damian wayne#yandere bruce wayne#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake
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Whumpee’s breaths came in shallow, rapid gasps.
Whumper watched his lips transition from blue to purple, finally fading to an ashen pink. His pale skin bore a faint flush, and his ragged breaths leveled out.
Finally, Whumpee let out a series of sharp, painful coughs.
He was alive.
Somehow, Whumper had actually managed to save him.
He studied the man in his lap with wonder, watching as his chest rose and fell shallowly. He was grateful. He let out a grand exhale, relieved. Against all odds, Whumpee had actually survived.
“Easy.” Whumper murmured, pushing a strand of damp, dark hair from Whumpee’s eyes.
Blinking through the blur, Whumpee’s mind began shifting into focus.
His ears rang with a deafening pitch and his head throbbed with the most painful headache he’d ever had. His throat burned like hellfire, but at least he could breathe sweet, sweet air. Never in his life had he felt so cold, so weak-- so close to death, to nothingness.
The chill seeped deep into his water-soaked bones. Everything hurt. It felt like he was frozen solid, every nerve ending screaming from the biting chill, except for the small spot of warmth radiating from his back.
For one sacred moment, he sank deeper into the warmth underneath him. He almost managed to relax. But when he realized he was lying in Whumper’s lap, his eyes snapped open.
“You. Y-You tried to kill me.”
His words were frayed, but the accusation sliced through the room.
Whumper removed his hand from Whumpee’s damp hair, frowning.
“Shut up, Whumpee.”
After all of this, not one ounce of gratitude.
He shoved Whumpee off his lap, dropping him onto the freezing porcelain floor.
Whumpee’s cheek pressed against the slick, frigid tiles of the bathroom floor. His slender body shivered in the icy puddle of water that had collected beneath him.
"I-I'm-mm sorry..." Whumpee's voice trembled, barely above a whisper. He imagined the tall man yanking him up by the hair and dragging him back over to the tub, finishing what he'd started.
Whumper turned and rose to his feet, leaning against the granite countertop. He let out an irritated sigh.
"Please, d-don't... don’t do it again."
“Don’t give me a reason to.” The tall man said over his shoulder.
In the mirror, Whumper’s eyes traced over Whumpee’s naked body. He’d never seen someone so fragile, so vulnerable. Whumpee was sprawled across the cold tile like a ragdoll, shivering and too exhausted to move. He was so pale and thin.
Whumper watched with fascination as Whumpee attempted to push himself up. But just before he managed to sit up, his arms wobbled as he lost his grip, sending his elbows crashing back into the ground with a dull thud.
A smile flashed across Whumper’s face. It reminded him of a newborn horse trying to walk for the first time, clumsily wobbling until it tumbles in the mud.
He wanted to laugh at the pathetic attempt, but thought better of it.
“For what it’s worth, Whumpee,” The tall man said to Whumpee's reflection in the mirror. “I forgive you.”
Shivering, he crumbled in on himself, curling into a fetal position. Tears welled in his eyes. Whumpee couldn’t even remember what he’d done to deserve this in the first place.
“Why did you... you were gonna k-kill me. You tried, y-you were gonna kill me...”
Whumper sighed again, trying to swallow the irritation buzzing in his brain. Each second he spent in the wreckage of the dripping bathroom only made his impatience grow.
“Stop. You're alive!” he said, attempting a light-hearted tone. The forced cheer in his voice was a poor mask for his growing agitation.
“Now come on. Sit up.”
Whumpee braced himself, palms trembling as they pressed against the slick floor again, struggling to find his grip.
He actually managed to sit up this time, but the effort sent his head spinning. He drew his legs into his chest for warmth, deliberately avoiding Whumper’s chilling gaze.
“Good, see? You're better already. Are you cold?”
It was a dumb, painfully obvious question. Whumpee nodded.
“Ah well, sorry, Whumps. I’d let you take a bath… but, I uh, kinda think you’d hate that right now.”
Whumper collected a half-soaked towel hanging from a silver rack before flinging it over the crook of his arm, taking a step towards Whumpee.
“I'll admit, I was a little hard on you. Things just got a little out of hand. But I wasn’t trying to kill you, okay?”
Whumpee’s eyes were locked on the water pooled on the bathroom floor, his mind distant.
“Okay?” Whumper repeated more harshly, demanding an answer.
Whumpee nodded frantically. He didn't believe it.
Whumper's words were hollow. Empty. When he’d held Whumpee’s head under the water, he wasn’t trying to teach Whumpee some fucking lesson. And when the water closed in around him, seeping into his nose and throat, no, that wasn’t a punishment. It was a death sentence.
Whumper stood squarely in front of him, leaning forward. "Here."
The damp towel fell over Whumpee’s head limply, doing nothing to warm his frozen body.
“Hey.” Whumper said in a callused, hushed voice. “Hey. Look at me, Whumpee.”
"Don't worry." He clutched Whumpee’s chin, forcing his tired eyes to meet his intense gaze.
“If I wanted you dead, you’d be fucking dead.”
----
this is a part 2 to Went Too Far, but works as a standalone :~)
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* Sees the angst tag in the masterlist * me: 😈
I request the finest dish of Sukuna and Male reader, with the drink being Angst. Sukuna had kept his Male servant around in the heian era and began to have a soft spot for him. But when he found a servant's dead body, he began to go mad. Now, the rest is up to you.
Sukuna x male!reader
A/N : I am a big angst lover so the moment I saw this request I squealed and instantly started writing
A/N : I gotten inspiration from the last of us opening for the death scene. Also Sukuna and reader had a special thing 😉😉 ALSO SUKUNA IS HEAVILY OOC
Sukuna wasn’t a kind man,well he wasn’t a man to begin with, he was a curse object that hated basically everything. He wasn’t kind at all, he was rough and mean. He was one thing that has zero weakness or so he thought. There was you he never understood why he adored you so much. You were a pesky human to him, a mere servant of his. However he couldn’t help but to be soft and patient with you. He felt pathetic every time he saw you smile, every time he saw your eyes and skin glowing in the sun light. The way you looked at everything with kind eyes, even him, a monstrous being. The way you trace the patterns all over his body, your fingertips grazing his skin gently like he was fragile glass as your soothing voice spoke. Oh your voice was something he could listen to always, it was one of a kind to him. He hated it but oh he couldn’t tell you to stop. You were a weakness to him and he hated, he hated everything about it, yet he couldn’t get rid of you.
He has even tried to, there has been many times he has thought about killing you. He has pictured it many times and many different ways, sometimes they come out of the blue. The other times is when you are sleeping peacefully next to him, his eyes starring at your resting face trailing them down looking at all the marks from him. He couldn’t help but to imagine ripping your heart out right then and there, doing the same thing you have done to him, making you feel the same pain.
You didn’t understand it either why he was so gentle to you. When you first became his servant he treated you like the other. He was cold and ruthless to you, the only person you saw he even remotely nice to was uruame. The first time that you saw something different from was when you bumped into by accident. The force of him basically knocked the breath out of your lungs. You just stared up at him with fear as he just stared down at you. You gotten on your knees "I'm sorry King. I must have been distracted I didn't see you." Your voice shook with fear. He reached one of his hands down offering it to you. You looked at him confused
"Are you gonna take it or what?" He asked without any emotion or tone to his voice. You put your hand in his helping you raise up. From there you saw him slowly began to soften. He knew the track you walked in the castle so he eventually start to intercept that track. He knew you liked to paint so he start to let you go outside to do that with his "supervision" of course. You had a favorite spot too, it was under a tree surrounded by flowers, so he had other servant set up a area for you there. He stood out there with you for the most of it he wanted to make sure you didn't run away. But that was just an excuse. He stood out there because of how peacefully you looked. He liked how you looked when you concentrate, he liked how your strong hands look holding the brush. He also did it to make sure that no one would disturb you.
One thing he hated more than how gentle you were, was the way you looked when you cry. Sukuna wasn’t a patient being which caused a lot of fights between the two of y’all. Sukuna never felt the need to apologize to anyone or anything but with you he just couldn’t help it. He felt the need to apologize especially after a bad one. Such as the recent one, he was sitting on his throne thinking of the way your eyes filled with tear before you stormed off. The way you yelled “If you are so tired of me then kill me! Do it already!”
He decided to ask uraume to make your favorite dishes as a act of him apologizing to you. When he brought the food up to your door. He could hear sniffling. He thought your were still upset so he put the tray on the floor and knocked gently on your door. "Y/N, I know you're probably still upset but here is some food. " That’s when he heard you say his name but it wasn't normal. It was odd like you were hurt. He opened the door to find you bleeding on the floor.
He ran to your body lying on the ground, the was a big gash from your chest to your torso. “Y/N, going to be okay.” He took you in his arms trying to pick you up which caused you to scream in pain. “ I know, I know but you have to let me. I have to get you help.” He tried again, your nails were digging into his skin as you screamed. “I know baby, I know.” Baby was a nickname that he has never used until now, it was always brat. He stood up half way before the grip you had on him let go and everything went silent. Your body fell limp in his arms. “Y/N” He sat down on the ground with your body cradle in his arms. He sat there just staring at the opened window. If he wasn’t late he could’ve caught that person, the thing that killed you. Or he could've killed it before it hurt you. The thing that took you from him. He’s going to hunt them but he doesn’t want to kill them. No, killing them would be to humane. He wants to torture them until their body can’t take it and give up.
He sits there for hours in the the silence of what use to be your lively room. What once was a room filled with laughter, talking, and other noises is now a room with nothing. The sound of the door opening interrupted his thought. He turned his head looking at the intruder, it was another servant. “My kin-“ the servant wasn’t even able to get the full word out before a slash went through his body. Uraume eventually came the fetch the body before leaving sukuna alone again. It began a repeated process of servants intruding to only be killed in a second
This went on for 3 days, your body started to decay but he didn’t move. He stayed there not caring about the decay or the smell. “Sukuna” Uraume opened the door gently. He stared at them with a look in his eyes that they have never seen before. Was it heartbreak, anger, madness that he didn’t want to let out. Simply because he didn’t want to disturb your resting body.
“I don’t want to fucking hear it.” He barked at them. They crouch in front of him leaving your body in between them.
“Sukuna, I think we should give him a proper burial. He doesn’t deserve to rot here.” He sat there for a second considering it. "Please" They pleaded with him hoping to get in his mind. He nodded slowly. "Where do you want to bury him"
"I know a place." Sukuna and Uraume put you in beautiful clothing before burying you along with your paint and brushes. Your favorite place became your resting place, under the tree surrounded by flowers.
For hours the quiet castle became home to thunderous yells the sound of things being thrown. No one even dared to ask Sukuna if he was okay, it was clear to what would happen. They would become like those painting of yours that he has ripped up. Those gorgeous painted vases shattered on the floor, he didn't care about the glass stabbing his feet. Everything reminded you of him and he wanted it all gone, it all destroyed and dead just like you. Sukuna's madness went as far as killing every other servant that met you. They knew that you were a weakness to him and he couldn't let them live. He made sure that only him and Uraume remembered you.
Over the course of centuries you began to fade into the back of his mind, a place that he will never tap back into. Those memories no longer had the same effect on him. They didn’t make him soft like they use to. They made him angry, viewing them as a time that he was weak. He even forgot that he was on a hunt looking for the person or curse that killed you. If anything he now wishes it was him that did it. He sees you as having a victory over him simply because he couldn't. You were his biggest regret and now you exist forvever in the back in his mind. You were like a thorn in his foot that he can never get out. No matter how much it annoyed him, it will always be there so he learned to ignore it.
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x male reader#male reader#sukuna x male reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#sukuna
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Meet me on the Pitch
Valentine's Day Special - Day 1
A Jamie Tartt x fem!shy receptionist reader
Masterlist Valentine' Special
TW: cursing, kissing
Y/N had never been one to put much thought into Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t that she hated it—she just didn’t expect much. Working at AFC Richmond meant watching the players fumble through grand gestures for their girlfriends while she quietly sat behind the reception desk, perfectly content in her little corner, far from the chaos of romantic declarations.
At least, that was the plan.
But when she arrived at work that morning, a bright red envelope sat neatly on her desk.
Her name was written on the front in bold, slightly messy handwriting.
Frowning, she picked it up.
Y/N blinked, her heart fluttering nervously in her chest, her fingers trembling slightly as she glanced around. The office was bustling with the usual morning energy, but no one seemed to notice her. She slowly opened the envelope, pulling out a small card.
Inside, in a mix of rushed cursive and print, was a simple message:
Meet me on the pitch.
Her stomach did a little flip. There was no name, but something about the hurried scrawl felt oddly familiar.
"Exciting, isn’t it?"
Y/N jumped, a small squeak escaping her as Keeley Jones appeared beside her, practically bouncing with excitement.
"Oh my God, Keeley," she gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. "You scared me half to death."
Keeley didn’t seem to notice the shock in Y/N’s voice. Her eyes were locked on the card. "So... are you gonna go?" she asked, her grin far too knowing.
Y/N eyed her suspiciously, her voice soft. "Do you know who this is from?"
Keeley’s grin widened. "Maybe."
Y/N narrowed her eyes. "Keeley."
"Just go to the pitch, babe," Keeley said, winking. "Trust me."
Y/N wasn’t sure why she trusted Keeley—especially when she felt like her stomach was doing backflips—but she did. So, when her lunch break came around, she found herself walking to the pitch, the chilly February air brushing against her cheeks.
For a few moments, nothing happened. She just stood there, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot, wondering if maybe she was just imagining it. Then—
A football rolled toward her, stopping just at her feet.
Before she could process it, a certain Richmond striker jogged into view, his hands tucked into the pockets of his training jacket. Y/N froze, her heart jumping into her throat.
Jamie?
"Y/N," Jamie called, his voice sounding unusually tentative as he nodded toward the card still clutched in her hand. "Guessin’ you got my note."
Her throat went dry, and she blinked, taking in the football, then him, and then back to the football. "This was you?" she asked, her voice small.
"Uh, yeah?" Jamie rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically sheepish. "I mean, I was gonna just ask you, but Keeley said I should do somethin’ a bit more… y’know, romantic, since it's Valentine's Day an' all that."
Y/N swallowed, her heart hammering in her chest. "Ask me what?"
Jamie shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his usual confidence faltering for a moment. "If you score a goal on me, I’ll tell you."
Y/N’s eyes widened. "And if I don’t score?"
Jamie’s smirk returned, but it was gentler now. "Then you gotta go on a date with me."
Her stomach churned. "Jamie—"
"Look," Jamie interjected quickly, his grin growing mischievous. "I could’ve just asked, yeah? But then I wouldn’t get to show off my world-class goalie skills."
Y/N couldn’t help but smile at his usual cocky attitude, even if it was wrapped in a layer of shyness she hadn’t expected. "Alright, Tartt. Game on I guess."
She took a step back, trying to steady her nerves, and lined up to kick the ball—
Only for Jamie to dramatically dive the wrong way as the ball barely rolled into the net.
Y/N burst into a laugh, her hand flying up to cover her mouth in surprise. "Jamie, that was pathetic. On purpose!"
Jamie sat up, grinning like a fool. "Oi, don’t disrespect my skills."
"That wasn’t skill," she teased, feeling the butterflies in her stomach flutter. "That was pity."
Jamie rose to his feet, brushing dirt from his sleeves, though his grin didn’t falter. "Yeah, well, either way—you won. So, I guess I gotta tell you."
He stepped closer to her, his expression softening, and for a brief moment, Y/N’s anxiety melted into something warmer, something sweeter.
"I like you, Y/N," he said, his voice quieter now. "Like, a lot."
Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart thudded painfully in her chest. Was this really happening?
"I know I can be a bit much sometimes," Jamie continued, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly, "but I wanted to do this proper. And I figured... Valentine’s was as good a time as any. I've liked you since you started working the front desk, you're the first person I see every morning and the last I see when I leave... I want that to be a permanent thing."
Y/N felt her cheeks burn, but the warmth in her chest spread, making her smile shyly. "So… uhm— could I maybe still— If you want— could we still go on that date?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jamie’s grin returned, but there was something softer in it now, like he was genuinely relieved. "Well, yeah of fucking course. Now it’s a celebratory date."
Y/N’s heart swelled, and before she could overthink it, she quickly leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. That took all her courage...
Jamie froze, his eyes wide with shock, and Y/N immediately regretted it, pulling away faster than she intended.
"I'll be ready at seven, Jamie," she murmured, her voice almost cracking as she turned to walk away, her hands shaking with nerves. She couldn’t believe she’d just done that.
As she left, she could feel Jamie’s eyes on her, and for the first time in forever, she felt like maybe this Valentine’s Day wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
Jamie stood there for a solid two minutes, hand drifting up to where she had just kissed his cheek, his brain still buffering.
Did that just happen?
Did Y/N actually say yes?
Did he just win at Valentine’s Day?
Behind him, someone wolf-whistled.
Jamie whipped around to see a few of the lads—Sam, Dani, Colin, and Isaac—watching from the sidelines, grinning like they’d just witnessed the best rom-com moment of all time.
“Oh my God,” Jamie groaned, rubbing his face. “How long’ve you lot been standin’ there?”
“Long enough to see you completely fumble that confession,” Colin teased.
Sam crossed his arms, nodding approvingly. “But it was very sweet.”
“You are so in love, my friend,” Dani added, beaming. “It is beautiful to see!”
Jamie scowled at them, but it didn’t hold much heat—not when he was still floating from the fact that Y/N had kissed his actual face.
He cleared his throat, ignoring the fact that he was blushing like an idiot. “Shut up, all of you. At least I got a date on Valentine's Day.”
That only made them laugh harder.
Y/N spent the rest of the afternoon definitely not replaying the entire interaction in her head. She definitely wasn’t thinking about the way Jamie had looked at her, or how surprisingly sweet his confession had been.
Nope. Not at all.
“You’re staring at the clock,” Keeley said, smirking as she leaned against the reception desk.
Y/N blinked, snapping out of it. “I am not.”
Keeley raised an eyebrow. “Babe. It’s fine to be excited, y’know.”
“I—” Y/N hesitated, then sighed. “It’s just… Jamie’s never exactly been the romantic type, has he?”
Keeley’s expression softened. “People change, babe. And for what it’s worth? I know he likes you.”
Y/N bit her lip, nerves and excitement warring in her chest.
“Well,” Keeley continued, grinning, “you better go get ready, because it’s almost six.”
Y/N glanced at the clock—and sure enough, the workday was over.
Oh God.
This was actually happening.
At exactly seven o’clock, Jamie showed up at her flat, standing on her doorstep in a fitted blazer over his usual flashy attire.
He was holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Oi,” he greeted, grinning. “You look… really fuckin’ pretty.”
Y/N felt her face heat up. “And you look very handsome, Jamie.”
Jamie rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, figured if I was gonna take a gorgeous girl out, I should make an effort.”
"Thank you so much, I've never gotten flowers before..." She took the flowers from him, unable to stop smiling.
"Never gotten flowers?! What fuckin' idiots did you date before? Get used to receivin' flowers every day from now on."
“So, where are we going?” She asks, eager to change the topic, because she's completely blushing now.
His grin turned cheeky. “It’s a surprise.”
Y/N gave him a look, but she let him take her hand and lead her to his car.
The “surprise,” it turned out, was a cozy little Italian restaurant, where Jamie had somehow managed to get them a quiet table tucked away in the corner. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, and the food smelled amazing.
“I’m very impressed, this is beautiful,” Y/N admitted, sipping her wine. “I was expecting… I dunno, a club or something.”
Jamie scoffed, leaning forward. “What, and have us both screamin’ over the music? Nah. Wanted to, y’know… talk to you.”
Her heart did a little flip.
They did talk—about everything and nothing, about work and football and the stupid things the lads did in the locker room. Jamie was charming, as always, but there was a softer side to him tonight. A sincerity in the way he listened, the way he laughed at her jokes, the way he made sure she had enough of the garlic bread they were sharing.
Somewhere between the main course and dessert, Y/N realized she was having fun.
Like, actual fun.
Not the kind of fun where she was being polite or trying to make the best of a bad date. No, this was just… easy. Natural.
And when they left the restaurant, strolling toward his car under the glow of the streetlights, she realized something else.
She really wanted to kiss him.
As if reading her mind, Jamie slowed to a stop, turning to face her.
“So,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Did I fuck it up?”
Y/N blinked. “What?”
“The date,” he clarified. “Did I—did I fuck it up? ‘Cause, y’know, I do that sometimes.”
Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “No, Jamie. You didn’t fuck it up. I loved it. I had so much fun, thank you.”
Relief flooded his face. “Good. ‘Cause I really wanna kiss you right now.”
Y/N’s breath caught. “Yeah?”
Jamie took a step closer, smirking. “Yeah.”
She barely had time to process before he leaned in, capturing her lips in a soft, lingering kiss.
It was warm and sweet, with just the slightest hint of cocky confidence—so very Jamie.
When they pulled apart, he was grinning.
“So, this means you’ll go out with me again, right?”
Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “Yeah, Jamie. I will. Definitely.”
Best. Valentine’s. Ever.
#jamie tartt#ted lasso#ted lasso show#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#afc richmond#jamie tartt imagine#valentine's day
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