#what's a dream petals date

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Accepting Petals thots if yall are having any...

[theostrophywife]

poison paradise.

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: toxic by omido.

author's note: smutty unhinged theo won the poll. here’s your silly little treat. this came to me in a dream proving that even my subconscious isn't safe from theodore. this is pure filth, but ya'll already know that that's what i do best 🤪

The taste of cherry chapstick lingered on your tongue as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Lost in euphoria, you cried out just as a wave of pleasure crashed over you, dragging you to the depths of sensual self-indulgence. 

Back arching off the bed. Fingers gripping the sheets. Moans echoing off the walls. 

This was hedonism at its finest. 

The heady scent of sweat, skin, and sex permeated in the air long after your orgasm passed, inducing you into a foggy haze as you scrambled to anchor yourself back to the present. Between your legs, your girlfriend lifted her head up with a pleased smirk and pressed a chaste kiss against your lips. 

The kiss tasted like cum and cherries, a sweet and intoxicating combination that sent your head spinning. Hannah hummed, her pretty doe eyes focused on you while your own fluttered open. 

“Babe, I’ve really got to get to practice now,” she whispered softly. “I’m late enough as it is.” 

You chuckled, twirling a strand of her red hair between your fingers. “Whose fault is that? You’re the one who dragged me in here, love.” 

Hannah grinned sheepishly as she pulled your red and gold skirt down. “Can you blame me? I can’t control myself when you’re strutting about in your cheer uniform.” 

“Then go out there and give me something to cheer about, babe. I expect a win against Slytherin tomorrow.” 

“If Potter doesn’t kill me first for being late,” she said with a final kiss to your cheek. “See you after practice?”

You nodded as you tossed her jersey over. “I’ll be here.” 

After taking a much needed shower, you sat in front of the vanity and blasted music as you diligently adhered to your skincare routine. The best thing about having a girlfriend was that you shared everything. Since dating Hannah, your makeup, clothes, and shoe options doubled overnight. 

As you combed through your hair, a sudden knock at the door caught your attention. You figured it was just a courtesy from Hannah’s roommate. Merlin knows that the poor witch had walked in on you and your girlfriend in countless compromising positions. 

Tightening the scarlet robe around your waist, you sauntered over to the door, fully expecting Emma to greet you from the other side. Instead, a looming figure eclipsed the doorway. You were surprised to find none other than Theodore Nott staring back at you. 

While you two weren’t exactly the best of friends given the rivalry between your houses, you and Theo were civil. You sat beside each other in Herbology and occasionally shared a laugh every time you caught him muttering sarcastic remarks under his breath about the ridiculous bloody plants that Professor Sprout had you wrangling during class. 

“Well, what do we have here?” you teased, cocking your head at the dead eyed Slytherin. “A serpent in the lion’s den? What brings you behind enemy lines, Theo?”  

Theo smiled back in response, shuffling a bit and allowing a glimpse of the wine bottle and bouquet of roses cradled in his arms. “Waiting for my girlfriend to leave so I can set this up for our anniversary.” 

You grinned. “Oh, how romantic!” You had always been a sucker for cheesy gestures. It was the hopeless romantic in you.  “Come in, then.” 

To his credit, Theo kept his eyes firmly on your face as you ushered him inside the room. Taking the hint, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom and changed into something a little less revealing than your silk robe. When you came out, Theo was sprinkling rose petals on the bed. 

“Those are gorgeous,” you fawned over the flowers. “You’re definitely getting laid tonight.” 

Theo smirked in response as he set the vintage wine bottle into a fancy crystal ice bucket. “That’s the plan.” 

Slipping into your fuzzy slippers, you cocked your head at the arrangement. “Wait. I think you set it up on the wrong side. Emma’s bed is over there.” 

Theo nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, I know. This is for Hannah.” 

Whatever warm, fuzzy feeling his sweet gesture invoked suddenly soured at the mention of your girlfriend’s name. “What do you mean it’s for Hannah?” 

“Hannah,” Theo repeated slowly. “As in, my girlfriend, Hannah.” 

The words hit you like the Hogwarts Express. Surely, Theo was mistaken. He had to be. That was the only explanation. “This can’t be right. I’m sure I heard you wrong. You can’t be dating Hannah.” 

The confusion in your face was mirrored in Theo’s features. “And why is that?” 

“Because I’m dating Hannah.” 

Theo stared at you. You stared back. The room fell silent as the declaration hung heavy in the air. 

“Wait,” he backtracked, furrowing his brows. “What? That’s not possible.” 

“We’ve been dating since term started.” 

“We’ve been dating since summer,” Theo countered. Disbelief dawned over his handsome features. “This is for our three month anniversary.” 

Desperate to make sense of the situation, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your photo album. It didn’t take long to find a recent picture of you and Hannah. “See?” you said, pointing at the screen. “This is us sharing a hot fudge sundae in Hogsmeade just last weekend.” 

Theo’s mouth gaped open as he pulled out his phone in response, scrolling through his pictures just as you had done moments ago. “This is us swimming in the lake last July.” 

The photo of your girlfriend smiling up at the camera while Theo’s arms wrapped around her bikini clad body made your stomach plummet. The confirmation left a bitter taste on your tongue. There was no reason for Theo to be making this up, which left only one possible conclusion. Hannah was dating both of you. At the same time. 

You pursed your lips. “Hannah played us both.” 

Theo looked about as dejected as you felt. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it,” he muttered to himself. 

“All that tension between you during the quidditch match,” you recalled. The lingering looks that Hannah and Theo shared during last month’s scrimmage flashed before your very eyes. In hindsight, it was obvious that there was more to it than rivalry. 

“You know, I think I saw her kiss you on the cheek in the halls once, but she said that the two of you were just really close.” 

“Oh, we are,” you said rather bitterly. “She’s kissed a lot more than my cheeks. Gods, how could I have been so stupid?” 

“You’re not stupid,” Theo said softly. “How could we have known? Outside of Herbology, the two of us don’t really interact. We’re in different houses and our social circles rarely overlap. If you think about it, it’s actually the perfect plan.” 

“Yes, bravo to our girlfriend for being the cleverest fucking liar in the castle.” You winced at the title. "Correction, ex-girlfriend."

Nott nodded in agreement. "Definitely ex-girlfriend."

"What a bloody mess."

Theo rubbed his temples. “Well, fuck.” The sentiment of total and utter confusion was one you knew all too well. “I am way too sober for this.” 

Without a word, he swiped the bottle of wine from the crystal bucket and popped it open. You stared at him with slight bewilderment, which he responded to with a nonchalant shrug. “What? It’s not like I’m going to drink this with Hannah now after I found out that she’s been lying to me for three whole months.” 

While Theo was taking the perfectly understandable approach of getting absolutely pissed off his arse, you weren’t willing to take the hit so easily. You were angry. Correction, you were fucking livid. Seething in the heat of your fury, you snatched the wine bottle from Theo’s grasp and chugged a good amount. 

“That’s a vintage from my family’s vineyard. You’re supposed to sip slowly to really appreciate the flavor—“ Theo grimaced as you leveled him with a glare. “Or drown yourself in it. That’s fine, too.” 

You swayed on your feet as you gestured dramatically. “I can’t believe she cheated on me!” 

Who the fuck did Hannah think she was? You didn’t need this bullshit. She was the one who chased after you. Before she pursued you, you were perfectly fine ruling this school under your thumb, flashing pretty smiles and innocent doe eyed looks to the unsuspecting masses. You were head cheerleader, for fuck’s sake! You could’ve had your pick of boys and girls in this whole bloody castle. Even worse, Hannah dragged Theo into this too. While the Slytherins certainly had a reputation, he seemed sweet if not a little sardonic and cynical at times.

”I can’t believe she cheated on you.” You added, surveying the now tainted roses and wine. Indignation weighed heavily on every word. You and Theo were both hot as fuck and a complete catch. Neither of you deserved this. “We can’t let her get away with this.” 

Theo sighed in response, taking the bottle from you and drinking a decent amount before wiping his wine stained lips with the back of his hand. “If I’m being honest, this isn’t the first time a relationship has imploded on me. Usually, it’s my fault. But I can’t say I’ve ever gotten cheated on. My ego’s taken a little bit of a blow, but what can we do? She fooled us both.” 

“What can we do?” You repeated incredulously. “Obviously, you haven’t dealt with a Gryffindor’s wrath before. This is a matter of pride, Theo. She hit us where it hurts the most. I say we hit her back.” 

Theo blanched, his watercolor eyes glazed from the alcohol. The wine was no joke. You never would’ve known it from the smooth taste, but this shit was strong. “As upset as I am, I hardly think violence is the answer. My mum told me to never raise a hand against a lady and I don’t intend on breaking that promise. No matter how angry I may be.” 

For the first time in that fucked up night, you managed a laugh. Something about that was so endearing to you. “Relax, Nott. I don’t mean we hurt her physically. That’s not really my style. I have a much more effective way to enact revenge.” Your lips curled into a smile as Theo hung onto every word. “We’re going to wage psychological warfare on our ex-girlfriend, Theo.” 

“I’ll confess I’m a little bit scared,” Theo declared as he gulped down the last of the wine. “And a little bit turned on. Guess that says a lot about me, huh?” 

You smirked as you retrieved the wine bottle and gingerly set it on the nightstand. Theo glanced up at you curiously, anticipation evident on his handsome face. “What exactly is the plan, dolcezza?” 

Whether it was the alcohol or your anger, a devious plan started forming as you looked over your ex-girlfriend’s now ex-boyfriend. “Hannah comes back from practice in an hour,” you stated, toying with the neck of the bottle. “She’s expecting to find me in bed waiting for her.” 

Mischief danced in Theo’s eyes. Up close, you could see flecks of green swimming in his blue irises. Those mesmerizing eyes—the very same ones that had the entire castle weak in the knees—locked on yours. Now that you were single through no fault of your own, you had no reason not to ogle Theo and ogle you did. Your gaze flickered over his lean physique, examining his solid chest and broad shoulders before snagging on the sliver of skin that revealed the hard abdominal muscles beneath his light grey shirt as he stretched. A cocky smirk graced his handsome face when he caught you looking.

Merlin, he was fucking pretty. 

How had you not noticed that before? Oh, right. You were too busy being a good girlfriend. Well, fuck that. 

“Oh?” He murmured, his gaze flickering over you. 

Though you changed into a baggy shirt and cotton shorts, you might as well have been naked with the way Theo was looking at you. His dead eyed stare burned holes into your skin and a shiver crawled up your spine as he gravitated closer. 

“And she will,” you said with a smirk, closing the gap between you. “You’ll just be in it with me.” 

“Oh,” Theo hummed salaciously. 

“Wouldn’t wanna waste those pretty roses you got, do we?” 

The low rasp of your voice seemed to entrance Theo as he shook his head, appearing dazed as you pulled him in by the front of his shirt. “No, no at all. We should…” The nervous bob of his Adam’s apple sent a thrill through your body. “We should definitely make use of them.” 

With a grin, you led him towards the bed. Theo walked backwards, his eyes never leaving yours even as he landed on the mattress. The golden glow of the lamp kissed his sharp cheekbones, its warm hue coloring the slope of his nose, which were smattered with moles and freckles, before emphasizing his wine stained lips. The red roses fluttered around him as the bed dipped, soft petals tickling his skin as he settled against the headboard.

Theo felt like he was under a spell as you crawled over him. He couldn’t tell whether he was dizzy from the wine or if it was just the effect you had on him, but either way, he wasn’t complaining. There were worse things to suffer from than a pretty witch straddling his lap. 

Instinctively, Theo gripped your waist while you settled over him. The sight of you leaning over him, your face mere inches away from his felt like a fever dream. One that he had no desire of waking up from. 

“I thought you liked girls,” Theo whispered softly as your lips brushed over his. Teasing, taunting, tasting. Fuck, what he would give to have you devour him whole. 

“I do,” you replied, tickling his cheek with a rose petal. Theo shivered as the low rasp of your voice pulled him in. “But I like boys too. Especially pretty ones like you.” 

Theo couldn’t help but blush. Obviously, he was aware that he was attractive, but he’d never been called pretty before. He was surprised to find that he really fucking liked it. 

“Don’t flatter me, dolcezza. Not unless you plan on following through.”

“I’ve never been with a Slytherin before,” you whispered huskily. “Tell me, Theo. Will you sink your teeth into me tonight?”

A part of him pondered the slightly fucked up situation that Theo managed to get himself into tonight. Was he really about to fuck his ex-girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend in her own bed? Yes. Did he feel an ounce of guilt over what he was about to do? No. 

Honestly, fuck Hannah. But more importantly, Theo needed to focus on fucking you. 

“Fuck yes.”

When you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, it was over. There wasn’t a single trace of self control in him as he kissed back, his mouth hot and eager against yours. The infamous Gryffindor boldness didn’t disappoint as you moaned into his mouth, your fingers threading through his silky brown waves before tugging in a way that made Theo weak in the knees. As he parted your lips with his tongue, you grinded against him and laughed seductively when he whimpered in response. 

“Yeah?” you purred as you rolled your hips. “You like that, pretty boy?” 

“Bloody fucking hell,” Theo groaned before he kissed you again, rougher this time. 

There was something satisfying about the way he grabbed you, his big hands guiding you to grind over him, providing a delicious friction between your clothed sex. Theo was hard and throbbing underneath you. By the feel of him, you knew you were in for a ride. The sheer size of him was going to absolutely destroy you. 

You pulled away and a glistening trail of spit extended between you as a result of your sloppy make out. Theo panted as you tugged at the hem of his shirt, keeping your eyes trained on him while you licked a path down his abdomen. He watched hungrily as you grazed your teeth over his hard muscles, flicking your tongue expertly while he shuddered underneath you. 

“I can see why Hannah went for you,” you hummed against his tan skin. “You’re hot as fuck. Your abs are unreal and your happy trail,” Theo groaned as you pressed soft kisses along his torso. “It leads to something delicious, doesn’t it?” 

“Fuck, bella. You’re killing me,” Theo groaned as he fisted your hair in one hand. The whimper that slipped past his lips as you palmed his cock was utterly shameless. “You’ve got a filthy fucking mouth, Y/N.” 

“Yeah? Shut me up, then.” 

His head lolled back against the headboard as you released his cock from his boxers, stroking purposefully and savoring the filthy moans that echoed against the walls. Those pretty eyes of his were nearly black with lust as he looked down at you, biting his lip while your tongue swirled over the head of his cock. Licking up his precum, you smirked before fully wrapping your lips around him. 

Theo tugged at your hair and bucked against your mouth as you sucked, licked, and pumped every inch of his thick, hard cock. You knew you were good, but the desperation in Theo’s voice all but confirmed it. 

“Dio mio, right there. Fuck, you’re perfect. Your throat was made to be fucked. You can take it, bella. Choke on my cock, just like that.”

You gagged as he hit the back of your throat. Sucking dick had never been your favorite, but sucking Theo’s dick was something else. He looked so pretty with his waves plastered to his forehead, rosy cheeks flushed as he fucked your face with a dominance that had you growing wetter by the second. Tears streaked down your cheeks as you choked on his cock, but it was worth every second to hear Theo moan your name. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” hissed Theo after a particularly rough thrust. You could tell he was close by the way his body seized underneath you, but you weren’t done with him yet. You wanted more and so did he. “So fucking close, but I don’t want to come yet. I need…Fuck, I need more.” 

You released him with a pop, but kept stroking him with your right hand. “Use your words, pretty boy.” 

“I want to feel you,” Theo whined. “I need to feel your pussy clenching around my cock, principessa. I need you so fucking bad. I’d get on my knees to be inside of you. Please.” 

“You sound so pretty when you beg,” you said as you kissed his temple. “Who am I to refuse?” 

Theo watched as you shuffled above him, barely breathing as you slipped out of your clothes. When you threw your shirt off, Theo cursed to find you completely bare before him. He cupped your tits, flicking his thumb over your nipples before wrapping his lips around them. You could tell he was eager to please and that alone was a huge fucking turn on. It was rare to find a man who cared about pleasure beyond his own, which is why you usually preferred women. Theodore Nott seemed to be the exception. 

With rapt attention, Theo helped you lower down onto his length. He kept his eyes on you as you adjusted, gasping when your walls stretched to accommodate his size. 

“You know, I thought the rumors about you were exaggerated,” you groaned as you sank lower. “But I’ve never been so glad to be wrong.” 

Theo smirked as he nibbled at your earlobe. “What kind of rumors, dolcezza?” 

“That you had a huge dick,” you responded, sounding slightly winded once Theo was finally fully sheathed inside of you. “And that you fuck like a—“ You moaned when Theo shifted his hips to rut into you. He was so big that the minuscule movement felt like you were being split apart. 

“That I fuck like what, bella?” 

Never one to be outdone, you tugged at his hair and grinded against him. “That you fuck like an absolute demon.” 

“Yeah?” He drawled, sliding in and out of you with a cocky smirk. “Well, you’re no angel either, Y/N.” 

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Theo.” 

The sight of you bouncing on his cock and riding the fuck out of him was almost too much. Theo was mesmerized as you used him to get off, head thrown back as you placed your hands on either side of his legs before bending in an angle that he wasn’t even sure was possible for a human to contort to. 

Damn, he should’ve fucked a cheerleader sooner. He should’ve fucked you sooner. 

“I guess you’re not the only one who listened to the rumors. They said you were flexible, but goddamn, this is something else. You’re something else, Y/N.” 

“Oh fuck, Theo,” you keened as you gripped the sheets. “You’re so big. It feels so fucking good, baby.” 

“I like the way you moan my name,” he said. “Gods, I could’ve had this all along. Why was I even wasting my time with Hannah? Sei una fottuta dea.” 

“I have no idea what you just said,'' you panted, picking up the pace. Your legs ached from the effort, but it felt too good to stop. “But I’m soaked now.” 

“I said,” Theo grunted as he fucked up into you and tugged your hair back. “You’re a fucking goddess, Y/N.” 

When he rubbed circles on your clit, you absolutely lost it. The room spiraled around you as you came hard, creaming Theo from tip to base. He pulled out suddenly, making you whine at the loss of contact until he replaced his cock with his mouth. Theo flattened his tongue, licking up along your soaked folds. His nose brushed against your already sensitive clit and you cried out as he lapped you up like a man starved. 

“Can’t take anymore,” you whined, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you pushed against Theo’s broad shoulders. “It’s too much. I’m so sensitive.” 

Theo gripped your ankles and spread your legs wider. “Where’s that Gryffindor bravery, bella?” He chuckled, tracing circles on the inside of your thighs. His mouth glistened with your cum and rose petals stuck to his skin as he looked up at you. “Surely you can take more. We barely just started. I want you drenched in tears. Shaking, crying, and moaning my name. Right now, you’re not even close.” 

He sucked on your clit and you swore to Godric your eyes rolled back so hard that you saw heaven. Theo was determined to drive you to the brink of insanity. “I know you want it, baby. Let me make you feel good.” 

“Oh gods,” you cried out as he filled you with two fingers. It wasn’t as much of a stretch as his cock, but the way he curled them inside of you, touching that sensitive spongy spot within your walls made you whimper all the same. “Fuck, yes, gods. I want it. I want you, Theo.” 

A satisfied smile graced his handsome face before Theo flipped you over, pressing you headfirst into the pillows as he feasted on your pussy from behind. There wasn’t a single thought in your head as he unraveled you with his tongue and fingers. It was a deadly combination that had you on the edge quicker than you thought possible. 

“Turn around, principessa,” Theo cooed. “Come ride my face.” 

For Godric’s fucking sake. The man was absolutely insatiable. You liked to think that you had excellent stamina. Most of the time your partners struggled to keep up with your pace, but Theo was seriously challenging that. You didn’t know if you could come three times in a row without passing out, but tonight was as good as any to find out. 

Theo rewarded you with a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss before positioning your thighs on either side of his head. You held onto the headboard above him. Part of it was for balance, but mostly to keep yourself from collapsing all together. You felt so overstimulated that the line between pleasure and pain was blurring by the minute, but still, neither one of you had any plans of stopping. 

At this point, you actually couldn’t give less of a fuck about revenge. Hannah had long become a thing of the past. It seemed ironic that you and your ex-girlfriend were in this exact position mere hours ago yet you couldn’t even recall anything past the Slytherin fucking you with his tongue. 

“Theo, oh my fucking gods,” you cried out as you grinded against his mouth. “Right there. Yes, that’s it. So good.” Theo squeezed your thighs in response, which elicited a hoarse laugh out of you. “You like when I praise you, pretty boy?” 

Theo hummed against your clit and squeezed your ass in confirmation. “You’re so pretty when you’re eating my pussy,” you cooed, brushing his wavy locks back. “But you’re even prettier when you’re fucking me.” 

That seemed to be all the encouragement Theo needed. Before you knew it, your back was against the mattress as he hiked your legs over your shoulder. Theo slipped in easily, thanks to the juices coating both his tongue and cock now that he was filling you up again. 

“How’s the view now, principessa?” Theo asked with a cocky smirk. 

You bit your lip as he pounded into you, holding your gaze with every sharp thrust. His tanned skin glistened with sweat and his muscles flexed while he buried himself inside of you again and again, watching you take all of him with rapt attention. His balls slapped against your ass every time his hips snapped to yours, drilling so deep that you struggled for words.

“The best in the castle,” you quipped back, putting on a serene smile as Theo grunted and fucked any and every coherent thought right out of you. 

Neither one of you noticed the door opening nor the sound of the broom hitting the floor. You were too busy staring into Theo’s pretty eyes to care. 

He turned your head towards the door, but didn’t stop fucking you as Hannah watched with her mouth hung wide open. Theo made sure that your ex-girlfriend had a clear view of the money shot as he claimed you with his mouth, moaning your name against your lips as he came with a loud cry. He filled you to the brim and you could feel him leaking out of you and onto the sheets as your eyes rolled back.

Theo collapsed on top of you, sweaty and sinful. As you lay boneless and blissed out of your mind, you couldn’t quite believe that you’d just fucked your ex-girlfriend’s ex boyfriend. In her own bed, nonetheless. If that wasn’t poetic justice, you didn’t know what was. Merlin, you hadn’t gotten shagged like that in—well, ever. The Slytherin really knew how to slither in. You lifted your head to find Theo already looking at you. When you made eye contact, the two of you burst into laughter.

Your ex-girlfriend, on the other hand, was not as amused. “What the fuck!” Hannah screamed. 

Her shrill voice brought you out of the post haze aftermath of your earth shattering orgasm. Completely unbothered, you stretched lazily and waved your fingers at Hannah. Theo smirked as he tugged his sweatpants back on, but opted to remain shirtless as he pulled his oversized shirt over your head like a proper gentleman. You were grateful, since you had absolutely no desire to walk around in your ex-girlfriend’s clothes. Plus, it didn’t hurt that Theo looked absolutely delicious from the afterglow.

You bit your lip, already thinking of all the ways you’d like to have him. Again and again. As often as possible.

With a little smile, you met Theo’s gaze. It was clear that neither of you had any intention of calling it an early night. You had a feeling that you had a lot of sleepless nights ahead of you. Theo looked like he wanted to tear you apart and you were more than willing to let him. “My dorm?” 

“Whatever you say, dolcezza,” Theo said as he slipped his fingers through yours. “You could lead me off the astronomy tower and I’d follow.” 

Theo didn’t bother looking at Hannah as the two of you passed her. You, on the other hand, couldn’t pass up the chance to get the last word in. 

“By the way, we’re breaking up with you. Have fun cleaning up the mess.” 

Theo chuckled darkly as he tugged you out into the hallway, smacking your arse as the two of you raced back to your dorm. Behind you, your long forgotten ex-girlfriend gaped as she watched her ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend walk away hand in hand.

[staryuee]

WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE!

꒰warnings꒱ not proofread, dainsleif/pantalone may be ooc (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . just cute habits, actions etc that they do, whether intentionally or not, after being struck with cupid’s arrow.

⠀꒲ ` characters . . . jean, diluc, zhongli, xiao, nilou, xianyun, dehya, wanderer, arlecchino, pantalone, dainsleif

⠀꒲ ` notes . . . scrolling through the genshin tag makes me wanna die sometimes…i’m trying to do investigative work and i have to quickly scroll past the same smutty language like it’s booktok torture + also i’ve been playing baldurs gate 3 for the past several days and i think i’ve developed a problem…

G. JEAN — 琴

ʚ jean is very subtle in the way she loves someone, she doesn’t want to keep it secret per se, but her love is always almost adjacent to a puppy crush; something that seems fleeting but in the long run returns harder and hits oh so much worse.

ʚ she can’t necessarily abuse her powers, and she wouldn’t dare dream of messing up the order she so carefully has managed to maintain, so the way she tries to convey her feelings across isn’t too brash or loud.

ʚ simple things like letting her hands brush against yours when she passes you documents, allowing you to visit her office whenever you please even if it’s to just sprawl down at a nearby couch and read a book you found in the library while meandering, and even letting you join her on her daily walks across the courtyard.

ʚ during windblume festivals she won’t hesitate to strike up a seemingly harmless and friendly conversation, all the while sneaking a flower into your hair that resembles the feelings you stir up inside her fuzzy heart.

ʚ jean is overall quite an awkward person when it comes to anything related to romantic or plantoic ties, she’s a bit of a people pleaser in that way where she prefers to assume everyone’s a friend before an enemy… or in this case, “interested”.

ʚ with backup and sought guidance from her good friends lisa and kaeya, she’ll try a myriad of tactics to get you to notice her; a little shoulder massage there, a heartfelt sticky note placed on your workstation there, inviting you to classic candlelit dinners etc.

ʚ yes, believe me, she even tried the cartoonish “rose bit between teeth and uncomfortably arched side lean on a wall” approach before deciding it’s much better to listen to herself than the flamboyant duo.

R. DILUC — 迪卢克

ʚ diluc is the actual epitome of a gentleman. his love is so pure and genuine you can’t help but flower press every petal from the various bouquet he personally delivers to you on special occasions (anything from you completing a particularly hard or draining mission to doing something you thought you’d suck at).

ʚ his coat is also yours now. it’s like a six sense at this point to notice when you’re shivering out in the cold winds, and it’s become even more of a routine for him to simply shed that fluffy coat of his and drape it appropriately over your shoulders, trying to maintain a comfortable distance between you two as he adjusts it both to ease your tension and assure the pounding of his heart goes unheard.

ʚ diluc doesn’t enjoy using his riches to woo someone, it’s uncouth and just shows a desperation unbecoming of someone who dates to marry. if he wants to know you’re in it for the long haul, he’ll be much more sensitive and thoughtful when picking out gifts for you, each them have to hold some level of significance in your life.

ʚ the whole fiasco with his poor maids and some sneaky, perverse stalkers and diluc’s flaming great sword certainly applies to you as well; he’ll quietly ensure your safety in the night, helping you walk home with his arm hooked under yours, and in broad daylight he won’t hesitate to swing that polished wolf’s gravestone of his against any onlookers.

ʚ diluc is extremely closed off but deeply sentimental, he can so easily find himself rambling about his childhood stories to you; anything from how he used to collect seashells with kaeya to bring back to their dad, or how him and jean used to let baby barbara braid their hair together while babysitting…to things that are slightly more troublesome and heart wrenching to even mutter.

ʚ he may be less vocal than most in terms of feelings, but that doesn’t mean he won’t commit to it if he’s in love with someone. diluc isn’t the slightest bit dumb, he understand in order to get his feelings across he needs to do more than take random days off to spend time with you, he needs to at least hint it in a way that clearly gets his intentions across.

ʚ believe me, whenever you come by to dawn winery per notice, everyone raises a brow at you with curious smirks and gazes as diluc nearly stumbles on his words to get the phrase: “you look lovely tonight” out.

ZHONGLI — 钟离

ʚ he has up to thousands years of romantic customs under his belt, he understands the vague signs and ways to further communicate how much he adores you.

ʚ … that would be the case in its full if not for the fact for the first thousand couple years of his life he wasn’t busy maiming other gods and shedding blood. safe to say, his memories of mortal “courting” is slightly, if not absolutely, a massive, weaving and overlapping trail of various centuries and cultures he’s been accustomed to; anything ranging from the days when khaenri’ah was still in its prime to nowadays with newfound slang.

ʚ he’ll recite the most beautifully heartfelt and awfully sincere poem all the while you’re fighting your life in a haunted house (he’s heard this activity is helpful to get couples closer to one another, and given the fact you’re clinging on for dear life at the edge of his coat, he assumes he’s on the right track!)

ʚ he wants to impress you while also maintaining an air of genuineness to his actions, and while that does sometimes end in awkward situations where he ends up wearing regal attire to what’s supposed to be a casual dinner at wangmin, his heart remains completely pure in its endeavours.

ʚ oh, let’s not forget this man is quite literally a dragon too!

ʚ sometimes he can forget you don’t have the same complexion as him and will proudly present you some sort of glimmering relic from his hoard, forgetting that certain materials that existed back in the day were deadly and or toxic for mortals to touch let alone possess.

ʚ with a little nudge in the right direction, he’ll quickly learn everything there is to know for how to properly handle your precious heart. whatever you’d like, you may have — if it’s within his reach, that is. but it doesn’t mean he’ll stop at what’s available, no, just how much he’s willing to risk for you.

XIAO — 魈

ʚ he’s already embarrassed and awkward enough with accepting the fact he likes you, so accepting the fact that he loves you had left him with a lengthy exorcism spree down in some forgotten areas in liyue (it didn’t help).

ʚ in all honestly, not much changes; both because he’s rather emotionally constipated but also because he’s more than sure he’s loved you for longer than he seems to currently acknowledge.

ʚ letters that came only on special occasions like your birthday or his became much more frequent and a lot less poetic, it felt more like he was writing about his thoughts at the time, a little akin to how you’ve made him feel less constricted and much more free; he can finally have the courage to step out of his comfort zone.

ʚ all those small acts of love he used to subtly express (i.e gifting you two crystaflies, personally inviting you to come hang out, etc) he manages to double, he can’t have you thinking his intentions are the same as before. no, they’re much stronger now.

ʚ his guard softens around you regardless, but when you randomly fall asleep on his shoulder on your weekly visits at wangshu inn, instead of taking you to one of the rooms, he’ll sit there and allow you to rest, and if he’s assured you’re not awake to ridicule him, maybe, just maybe…he’ll sneakily loop his arm around your waist.

ʚ even just the thought of you makes him spiral into daydreaming, sitting atop a tree and swinging his leg back and forth carelessly as he stares up at the night to await for a new light, knowing full well the only sun he wants to see is you…just imagining his hands holding your waist like they did so long ago makes him shiver (hopefully this time he’ll get to do it when you’re not falling, and instead are falling for him)

NILOU — 妮露

ʚ nilou is basically a disney princess, if you see her singing to random birds that come watch her performances, everyone in the grand bazaar already knows it’s because you’ll be in the crowd that night.

ʚ each step within her routines are done with the little more passion, if that even is possible given her character, all because she imagines that pride and hopeful heart eyes in your eyes as all the attention is on her.

ʚ sometimes this fixation can lead to dumb mistakes on stage which bring her to sulking away with a hand on her forehead dabbing away at the sweat, but even the mention of your name as you pass by several sumeru streets is enough for her to brighten, do a quick wardrobe switch and run off to tackle you within her embrace.

ʚ nilou is not loud, but definitely not subtle. the exact representation of how she feels when you come to encourage her at her lowest (though those days are few). you’re there for her in ways you don’t imagine, and that alone is enough for her to daze away into the night as she cuddles her pillow, legs wrapped around it and all, and begins thinking about the what ifs of your relationship.

ʚ sometimes it’s a little comedic the way she speaks about you, it almost sounds like she’s reminiscing about a fictional book character with how much she takes pride in whatever little thing you do. no one tires of seeing her footsteps lightly tap against the ground in circles as she gushes about how when you complimented her the other day, you touched her cheek seemingly subconsciously ∩^ω^∩

XIANYUN — 闲云

ʚ she’s a little embarrassed at just how obvious she can be sometimes, it doesn’t help the fact her own children keep using this love of hers to their advantage.

ʚ she keeps nagging them about not taking care of themselves (she’s all too keen about their health and whereabouts now that she dwells alongside liyuean people) and yet just the mention of your name has her slightly stuttering in a ditzy trance as she hooks her glasses back up her nose bridge.

ʚ without hesitance, she’ll show you a photo album she has of all those close to her; would you like to see the drawing little ganyu made when she just barely had her horns? or perhaps the polearm young shenhe broke when she miscalculated her own strength in training?

ʚ her family is her pride and joy, it’s only natural for her to want you to be part of it even if it’s something as silly as raking through photos of a chubby ganyu eating the stem of a flower or teeny shenhe napping on a tree.

ʚ a peaceful life mingling with mortals has left her with ample time to enjoy the trivialities of life, and yet she finds her mind all too quickly wandering to you; had you been taking care of yourself? were you feeling lonely? did you need her to make something for you?

ʚ a secretive worry wart that quickly becomes that ancient adetpus she used to pride herself as soon as your delicate hands accidentally brush against hers; suddenly she’s perked up, chest heaven up high with a confident hand on her shoulder: you wouldn’t even think that flurry of pink hues gushing across her cheeks was real if not for the light providing evidence.

DEHYA — 迪希雅

ʚ oh she’s absolutely ecstatic!!

ʚ there’s genuinely nothing better than love in her eyes, especially just having the ability to love and trust someone fully when you haven’t been able to do so for a plethora of years.

ʚ doesn’t try to hide it, like at all, if anything she makes it rather obvious with the way she constantly pulls you closer as if you were already an item, arms constantly clinging onto you and your sides or her hands messing up your hair as you greet her.

ʚ she’ll take you anywhere you ask, free of charge of course (just promise to smile…and maybe if you’re up for it give her a kiss on the cheek, that’s sure to be enough reimbursement).

ʚ she’s already quite a confident and outwardly friendly person (if the price is right that is) but when in your presence? what’s wrong with just a little bit of showing off…

ʚ dehya needs you to see the best side of her!! maybe then you’ll finally give in and realise that her constantly asking for you to come join her on her travels and commissions isn’t brought out of mere timed coincidence

WANDERER — 流浪者

ʚ i saw that a few people were upset and confused by wanderer’s sudden switch up into being more kind/friendly, but i think we all forget what kind of person he was before his betrayals.

ʚ he loves wholeheartedly, if he adores something it consumes him in a warm pit of mushy domesticity — he doesn’t hate love or being kind, he hates the way it makes him vulnerable and the way it reminds him of the way he used to be.

ʚ that also means he’ll completely ignore you, or, try his best to rather.

ʚ wanderer knows within his heart that he completely years for you, just the accidental slip of his gaze meeting yours makes his brain go haywire, sending volts of electricity down his spine — you make him feel so alive.

ʚ it’s terrifying to return to a person you once were especially now with the knowledge of how being the way you were lead to some sort of tragedy, he’s managed to build up these walls so high and here you were, sneaking in through cracks he didn’t even know he had.

ʚ and he both loves it and hates it; loves the fact he can still feel, but hates how he’s so easily susceptible.

ʚ loving you turns into self-loathing and brooding, his feet pacing up and down every street at night to clear his muddled head. small distractions like taking strolls in meadows or sleeping up in the vines of trees lead to just thoughts of you and you alone.

ʚ wanderer refuses to be overly friendly and buddy-buddy with you even if he’s aware that if you decided to just one day hold him sincerely he’d burst into tears, but he can compromise with being less cutthroat.

ʚ “shut the fuck up” turns into him just rolling his eyes at you as you ramble (he soaks up any piece of information he can and locks it away), items you gift him now are more apparent in their value as he yells at those who dare question the dumb aranara pin you bought him and placed sneakily on his hat…oh and he gives you hat privileges.

ʚ it’s raining? …get close to him so you don’t begin complaining about the way the rain feels on your skin.

ARLECCHINO — 阿蕾奇诺

ʚ she starts treating you less like an asset in her “contact if in need of assistance” roster and more like a friend — of course, she maintains that distance between you two, but she lets you wriggle around in her heart to see if you manage to fit.

ʚ chances are, you will — unknowingly she’d grown to love you in ways that may have even gone unnoticed by her given how natural they were; inviting you to random gatherings when the whim arises, pulling your chair out for you when out for brunch, or even tucking away strands of hair and twirling it around playfully.

ʚ arlecchino’s love isn’t something immediate or expected, she’s a woman who keeps every card close to her chest and her children even closer, you have to prove to her that you’re worth it, in a way that doesn’t necessarily mean spilling blood but more so answers the question: do you care, and are you willing to accept her blinding love?

ʚ it’s like a shepherd dog with a lost lamb, but that little sheep is just you, and she’s a wolf in need of a muse.

ʚ cute tea parties aren’t uncommon with the two of you, she’ll happily let you indulge yourself in treats as she leans back with scorching tea in her hands while memorising every curve of your lips as you chew and swallow, she loves watching the way your eyes crinkle when you smile and the little sway from side to side you occasionally do as an expression of joy.

ʚ once arlecchino notices that she’s began treating you as another authority figure in the house of hearth, she’ll reach and collar you gently, intertwining her dark, cursed hand into your flowery one.

PANTALONE — 潘塔罗涅

ʚ one of the most attractive qualities a man can have is knowing when to shut the fuck up and to slide his card over during a dinner — both such things pantalone can do effortlessly, especially when it comes to you.

ʚ arlecchino claims that: “he allows his actions to be governed by the vengeance and hatred locked in the depths of his heart.” something that definitely translates into his love affairs in more than obsessive manners.

ʚ don’t be afraid of the massive hauls of clothing and sparkling jewellery galore that are being trudged in by multiple men, darling, it’s just a menial souvenir from his latest travels and newfound connections that he thought you might enjoy ^^

ʚ while his grandeur usually stems from his deep hearted desire to overthrow the imbalance between immortals and mortals, rest assured the luxury he provides you purely stems from his desire to make you his.

ʚ whether that entails you being his pet for him to seek comfort from on the occasion or a genuine connection where he can comfortably hold you at night purely depends on you.

ʚ oh, you’ll let him chew your ear off about his recent expedition and extravagant plan? consider your rent payed for the next few months and a few kisses on your cheek that certainly aren’t actually part of the snezhnayan custom (let him indulge in those little cravings or else he’ll undoubtedly be petty).

DAINSLEIF — 戴因斯雷��

ʚ has a breakdown.

ʚ a little dramatic, but honestly if his entire life wasn’t a disgusting mess already, you’ve come to make it worse. fate is deliberately mean to brooding blondes it seems, given the fact he’s now stuck pacing around back and forth on a trail of dead abyss mages as he rereads a letter you’ve sent him weeks ago.

ʚ everything you give to him, everything you say, do, write, whatever, he remembers implicitly. each word you say is engraved into him as if they were important artefacts regardless of how pointless and mundane.

ʚ it can honestly get a little…scary at times? you’ll mention liking something once and all of a sudden you find it within your possession at least a few weeks later.

ʚ dainsleif doesn’t have enough time to wallow in the glory of mushy, all consuming love despite desperately wanting to imagine how your hand would feel caressing down past each of his scars, but what he can do is protect you, and to him that’s a greater blessing than intimacy he knows will end eventually.

ʚ a big tough man who would honestly fold the moment you call him any variation of a pet name, specifically with the word “mine/my” at the beginning — hey, it’s nice knowing you mean something to someone the point they view you as inseparable.

ʚ the timings at which he comes to aid you are all too convenient and believe me he’ll try his best to downplay it as coincidence, all the while he’s breathing heavily both from the face your eyes are scanning his so closely and the fact he used up so much energy to merely make a portal to sneak into your space.

©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ

[astrolovecosmos]

❤️‍🔥Venus & Mars❤️‍🔥

Written from the perspective of Venus representing femininity and Mars masculinity. Please take this with a grain of salt.

Aries Venus: Warrior Queen, hellfire eyes, won't take no for an answer, upfront, hungry for action, red petals and lips, all eyes on her, can leave a burn or scar.

Aries Mars: Ardent eyes and lips, fiery protector, a good competitor, rescuer, conquering libido, always at 100, hot days and unforgettable nights.

Taurus Venus: Irresistible charm or look, low-key seductive, enduring and magnetic, slow burn, dream weddings or dates, romantic touch, comforting and content, careful with hearts.

Taurus Mars: Caring hands, hedonistic attitudes, down-to-earth until they're not, things are always on their time, level-headed or stable assertiveness, smells good, shares with those they love their soft spot.

Gemini Venus: Shapeshifting enchantress, leading you astray or into ecstasy or both, bright feathers and dazzling wings, sharp talons and a sharper tongue, curious creature, get lost in her eyes, movements, or storms.

Gemini Mars: Lightning-fast energy but airy to be around, wins you over with humor, takes pride in his intellect, upbeat and always around a crowd or working one, bewitches with ease and passion.

Cancer Venus: Mysterious and soft glows, gentle and kind, a protective force of nature, messy and engulfing feelings, hard to fall but when they do they fall hard, can be others safety, gets her way.

Cancer Mars: Silent and strong type or insightful and tenderhearted, deep and sensitive, trustworthy vibes, that moody artist or introverted mystery, a wall or door people are tempted to investigate, a powerful guardian, never gives up.

Leo Venus: Strength and beauty of a goddess, instant connections and passion, object of adoration or desire, demands your attention, worship and heart, romance in their veins, she is the sun - center of your universe.

Leo Mars: Draws you in with his performance, wins, or adventures, brave in the bedroom, will risk it all, life of the party, maybe vain or selfish but always on top, a king, lust and power, feverish and flirty, are you his muse, trophy, or queen?

Virgo Venus: The answer to all your prayers or questions, devoted blood, sensuous and erotic, always has it together, earthy vibes and quiet affection, thoughtful, but may bite, will you grow with her or will she outgrow you?

Virgo Mars: Innocent eyes with a mischievous or know-it-all smirk, reliable arms, secret vitality but not-so secret intellect and wit, observational, appreciative, discerning in preferences and partners, will work hard for you but what will you do for them?

Libra Venus: You can't miss her when she walks into a room, candlelight and wine, charm, beauty, and brains, falls easily, likely has a line of admirers, elegance and grace, now you know why lust and love are seen as ✨magic✨.

Libra Mars: Knows how to make you happy or calm, secretly a hunting hound, hard to resist, if you're with him you're BEAUTIFUL, affectionate and chivalrous, charismatic one minute and introverted the next, can you figure him out?

Scorpio Venus: THE seductress, passionate and dramatic temptation and lust, says forever and means it, rapacious lover, deep and hypnotic, a heart-stopping and mystic medusa, jealous and unforgiving but will give you everything.

Scorpio Mars: Eyes that look into your soul, the dark and edgy type, sex-appeal is their weapon along with mystery or secrecy, an intense enigma, sensitive yet powerfully assertive, an unstoppable force, may be obsessive or easily misunderstood but knows you more intimately than anyone else.

Sagittarius Venus: For true adventurers only, free spirit and a rebellious heart, more independent than you, the most fun you've ever had, a huntress, lucky in love, desire + lust + companionship, can you handle her honesty?

Sagittarius Mars: Always taking their shot, will explore and challenge you, a wild ride, infectious and attractive optimism, humor, or even clumsiness or awkwardness, chronically adaptable and energetic - can you keep up?

Capricorn Venus: Ice you want to melt, respect or admiration are the only options, reliable and grounded, always in control, you know when she's approaching, true faithfulness, hard to satisfy, she's the authority.

Capricorn Mars: Relentless and calculated pursuit, private and cool-headed, #relationshipgoals, provider vibes, an underrated smooth talker, powerful influence and drive, all about longevity...

Aquarius Venus: Magnetic sorceress, intellectual babe, sparkling and different, always keeping you on your toes, can do it all on her own but likes your company, unconventional relationships, falling in slow motion or fast-forwarding into love at high speed.

Aquarius Mars: Visionary wizard with enticing charisma, pushing boundaries, special aurora and bedroom moves, erratic and strong-willed, sees the best in you, channeling passion into each other's minds and bodies.

Pisces Venus: Sensational siren, dreamy and karmic, elusive moments, drowning in feeling, flip a coin for love or lust - throw it in the fountain for both, making your dreams and/or nightmares come true.

Pisces Mars: That hopeless romantic, sweet and sensitive, imaginative moves and touch, will give you their heart and soul, captivating and addicting, your fantasy lover.

[themeraldee]

I think a great awkward sex fic could be homelander making love for the first time.

Not losing his virginity, but having sex with someone he loves

anon you're sooooooo smart!!!! I love this idea so much. After being in such a funk this reignited me and I had to write it now!! It took a different turn at the end but I don't dictate what the characters do!! thank you for this idea and please enjoy 🩷

Imperfectly Perfect

[Masterlist] [AO3]

18+ Only | 2.7k | Homelander x fem!Reader | Awkward sex. Realistic sex. Embarrassing sex noises. Feelings of inadequacy. Homelander being a mild drama queen. Cunnilingus. Unprotected sex.

Looking back at it, it was meant to be perfect.

Homelander eagerly ushered you back to his penthouse after an incredible date out. He pulled out all the stops, renting out the top rated, most expensive restaurant just for you. He spent the entire night charming your pants off with his strangely charismatic and at times awkward self. 

Buzzing with anticipation he couldn’t wait to show you what else he had in store for you. You’ve changed his perception of everything. Ever since you’ve wormed your way into his heart, he’s locked the way out and threw away the key. You’ve made him feel like nobody else ever has and he thought it high time he repay the favor. That’s why tonight had to be perfect. 

He wanted to show you what awaits you in your shared future.

He had some poor Vought employees absolutely drown his penthouse with bouquets of rich red roses, rose petals strewn across most surfaces, candles illuminating every corner, highlighting the glittering gold of the picture frames adorning his walls. Smooth jazz played in the background at a low volume sealing the deal on what ended up feeling like a scene plucked from an elaborate Valentine’s day ad.

“Wow! This is—wow! Homelander, you didn’t have to do all this.” You looked around the space, taking in the change with a shock and awe on your face. This quickly turned into a beautiful bright smile that made Homelander feel like he was on top of the world. He’s obviously doing something right.

“Anything for my girl.” He pulled you in gently, making the dress he’s picked for you twirl prettily. “Come with me,” he pressed a kiss to your soft lips, letting them linger for a little while while he inhaled the scent of your perfume—also his choice—and the roses surrounding you both. At that moment he thought that tonight would be perfect, one for the books.

And now? It didn’t take long for it to already be turning into a disaster.

From his point of view at least.

You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, leaning back on your arms as you watch the show. You asked to watch him take off his suit, promising that you’d give him just as good of a show as he would. 

Prior to this he has taken his elaborate suit off thousands of times anytime he’d go to bed. Now he’s struggling as if both of his hands were left-handed and this was his first suit fitting. He’s so tense, his nerves tighter than a bow string making his hands shake while he unclasps the cape, immediately folding it on the rack out of habit before he continues unzipping his suit. His heart is beating like a drum in his ears, he wouldn’t be surprised if even your ordinary ones could pick up on it. 

It’s not that he’s never had sex. It’s just that the anticipation of what he’s built up in his head is making him overthink his every move. He needs you to know that he can be like this for you. Because the perfect mainstream image of romance is what every woman dreams of—right?

When the zipper gets stuck and doesn’t let him unzip like normal he panics internally. There were meant to be no hiccups today! 

Observant that you are, you stand up as soon as you see him struggle and swear and take the step closer to him. “Let me help you.” You put your hands on his before sliding them up his forearms, then shoulders before going down to rest on his chest.

“How about you let me undress you and then you undress me.” You give him a cheeky smile, trying to break the tension he put himself into. “Does that sound good?” You ask quietly and breathy as you undo the zipper he was struggling with. 

He nods curtly, feeling ashamed that he’s admitting to a fault on his part.

But with the continuous dreamy eye-contact you slowly help him out. Undoing clasps, and zippers of his convoluted uniform. 

He was less worried about you seeing him naked than he is about the whole performance of it all. He’s let you see him without the suit before. Early into your blooming relationship you’ve stumbled upon him covered in blood. It only made sense to take the shower together as you helped him wash all of it off. But even then, he didn’t want it to go further. He said he had plans and asked you to let him make it perfect. 

When he’s finally fully naked he pulls you in for a hot kiss. It’s almost in gratitude at helping him mend the situation and put it back on track. He walks you back to the bed pushing you on it. He’s only about half hard, which is unusual for him as Homelander easily gets a hard-on in a split second anytime you just look at him a certain way. So it’s a surprise that he’s not panting and leaking with the way you look tonight. 

Clearly, he’s still stuck in his head.

With each kiss he presses into your skin, tasting the softness of your every spot he gets more and more excited. Slowly melting into you with each little huff you let out as he kisses your body, undressing you in tandem. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He growls into your ear before kissing you flush on the lips. Hot and heavy, he licks into your mouth, moaning at the way you pull at his hair when you rake your fingers through it.

Just as you want to take some control back, treat him the same way he’s treating you, he stops you.

“Nuh, uh. Ladies first. Let me make you feel good.” He rumbles as he pushes your hands off his body. You look pleased at his words, giving him an excited little grin.

And just like that, he’s finally taking control of the situation again. He’s got a script in his head and he needs to follow it to a tee.

Down on his knees, he pulls you closer to the edge of the bed. Already spreading your legs open, unabashedly inhaling the scent of you, already aroused and wet for him. He grins like a shark to himself. Without giving you much heads-up or taking it slow he just straight up buries himself in between your legs.

Just the smell of you had his cock finally turning rock hard, now with the taste of you he feels it twitching, drooling precum from the tip.

He’s licking you open, spreading you with his tongue. Like a mad man who doesn’t know where to focus first, with little rhythm he changes between strongly sucking at your clit, pointing his tongue sharply and running circles around your clit right before shoving his tongue into you, tongue-fucking you just like he imagines will leave your mind blown.

Except. 

“Little softer, please.” You sound out in between sweet little sighs. You’ve taken to running your nails through his hair, giving his scalp a little massage while he went to town on you.

“M’sorry.” He mumbles into your pussy as he quickly looks up at you. He slows down with his urgency though he’s a little peeved at the way he’s not been able to rock your world yet. 

“Don’t be—ah—it’s great. I just like it a little softer.” 

It’s great? Great?! It should be mind-blowing, incredible, glorious! Not just great. Immediately his ego takes a hit but he doesn’t outwardly show it. In his mind you should’ve been moaning and shaking for him, coming on his tongue while he got his fill of you. 

This doesn’t happen.

And while he’s doing better, making you moan a little louder, forcing small gasps out of you as he softens his tongue flat, gently laving over your clit before sucking on it softly. He’s not making you cum and that’s killing him.

You suddenly sharply tug on his hair and at first he thinks you’re getting close but you pull again and he looks up at you confused.

“Come up here.” You guide him up.

“But you didn’t finish.” He scrunches his eyebrows confused and for a second he looks like an innocent sweet puppy. 

“I don’t wanna come yet. I’m actually usually done after one orgasm so I reaaally want to have you inside me for the big finish you know?” You sign that off with a wolfish grin that he immediately eats up as he climbs up to devour you, making you taste yourself on his lips. 

With the thoughts of being inside you where it’s all soft and warm and really just made for his cock, he abandons his thoughts of inadequacy. 

And as much as you want to participate, Homelander keeps pushing you off, instead focusing on your body and all the places he hasn’t managed to kiss yet. 

When he swats your hand away from his cock again you ask. “Why won’t you let me return the favor?” 

“Another time.”

“But I wanna blow you! It’s not fair, why can’t I?” You keep pouting and you’re as adorable as you are annoying because as much as he’s sure your mouth will feel amazing he’s even more certain that your pussy will be fucking incredible. And he definitely won’t make it through both.

“Because I’ll bust, alright?” He swats your hands away instead pinning your wrists down onto the plush bedding making you yelp in surprise and arousal. He can sense the way that got you all excited. “Now just let me fuck you… please?” He says before kissing you again.

You automatically spread your legs. He kneels on the bed, sitting on his heels as his eyes immediately lock onto the sight of your pussy, still pretty and wet for him. A sight that makes his heart swell. Part of him was worried you wouldn’t want him with such voracity. He made sure to keep some lube on hand in case you wouldn’t get wet enough for it to be comfortable for you but he was preening that he managed to get you this wet. 

Homelander let one of his fingers glide down your slit, gathering the slick before pushing a finger in, immediately groaning at the intense heat of your cunt. He couldn’t wait to get his cock in you.

He gathers more slick that you seem to be making an abundance of but this time he gives his cock a few strokes, giving it a nice, wet coating. “So perfect for me.” He whispers out more to himself than you before he shuffles closer, holding his cock in his hand, rubbing it up and down your slit before eagerly pushing in.

The sheer tight heat of you has him gasping, you’d almost think he was in pain if it wasn’t for the blissed out look on his face.

When he sinks all the way in, he takes in your pretty face, your softly parted lips, gently flushed face and a look in your eyes that he’s sure he’ll never forget. You look at him with such love and adoration it’s impossible for him to stop the, “I love you,” that comes out of him before he kisses you.

“I love you too.” You say with a bright smile when he lets you breathe.

 He thinks at this moment, there’s no way this could be anything less than perfect.

Getting lost in the sensation he picks up the pace. He fucks into your faster and harder with each stroke and it’s not bad but it’s too too much from the get go. Homelander doesn’t see this. In his head he wants to make you cum before he himself finishes which with his track record might not be a very long time.

“Hey hey hey, slow down. You don’t need to go all hard and fast so quickly okay?” You say with a breathless little laugh, looking a bit rattled from the way he’s been fucking you into the mattress.

Fuck. He fucked up again. He’s disappointing you. That thought makes his heart hurt and jaw clench. But Homelander doesn’t let it show as he just nods at you, kissing his tension away, trying to get his head back into enjoying himself as much as he should.

But the universe isn’t kind to him and when he eases himself back into you, pressing his body against your sweat-covered one, the glide of skin on skin well… It makes a sound that could only be described as a fart!

You burst into giggles at the comical sound and you seem to think that’s it but Homelander is mortified. His eyes widen and he gasps, pushing himself off your sweat-slick skin. “That wasn’t—I didn’t—”

When he tries to explain that it wasn’t him it just makes you laugh harder.

He doesn’t get it—you’re laughing! It’s so incredibly embarrassing and it’s ruining the vision he had for the night. Tonight was about him finally opening up to you, letting you feel just how strongly he feels about you and it’s been a disaster from the start.

He feels himself softening inside you so he pulls out before you notice and he grumpily pulls away from you, turning to sit at the edge of the bed to sulk.

Your giggles died out as soon as you noticed him pull away. “Baby? Don’t be upset. I’m not laughing at you.” You sit up, reaching over to him, moving closer. 

“It’s fucking embarrassing! Tonight was meant to be—well not like this!” He’s upset and he’s trying to take it out on you as if pretending that it’s your fault is gonna soothe his hurt ego.

“It’s okay. It’s normal, it happens. It’s literally just skin on skin. Bodies make funny sounds!” You try to soothe him by rubbing his arms and shoulder, occasionally pressing a kiss to his head or side of his neck.

“You shouldn’t be laughing at it like this whole thing doesn’t matter.” He said with a bite in his tone, almost accusing you of not sharing his feelings.

“I’m laughing because this does matter to me. I’m comfortable around you. You make me feel at ease and let my guard down. I’m laughing precisely because I love you.”

He doesn’t respond and you continue soothing his hurt feelings.

“It’s beautiful, the way you’ve prepared this place. But do you wanna hear a secret?” You move closer to him and turn his head with your finger. “It’d be just as romantic without all of it. Even if the first time we had sex was in a broom closet. Or whatever. The point is—it’s you. That makes it all so special.”

He sighs with palpable relief and he nuzzles his head into the hand you placed on his cheek. He could just about devour you for being so amazing. 

“I just wanted it to be perfect for you.” He admits his insecurity, giving you the ammunition to rip his heart in two if you wanted to. He knows you hear the ‘I want to be perfect for you,’ he’s really trying to convey. 

“It is perfect. Tonight, the whole thing. Everything that’s happened. It’s been perfect. I’ve been loving every second of it.” You kiss him on the lips and he melts. He turns so he can embrace you with the kiss, feeling the tension finally slip away. With no expectations, he can enjoy you the way he should have from the start.

“Come on, lie down. Stop thinking.” It’s your turn to press him into the mattress as he lies on his back staring up at you with pure adoration.

Just like that, after seeing you on top of him all pretty and loving his cock is back at full hardness. You finally wrap your hand around it, giving it a few strokes before you lower yourself down on him.

“We’re getting to know our bodies. You learn what I like, I learn what you like. None of this thinking of what it should be like. Okay?” He nods at you although he’s very preoccupied with taking in the incredible feeling of you wrapped hotly around him, sending his mind into a frenzy.

You bounce on him, showing him exactly how you like it, what angle and what pace and in the meanwhile you coo sweet, soothing words. Clearly seeing just how much work his hurt ego will need to get back to normal. 

And somehow, in the end, it’s so much more perfect than he could ever imagine it to be.

Taglist (you can add yourself to be notified anytime I publish a new Homelander story): @infinetlyforgotten 

[jenmongiii]

— nct dream when they ask you the big question

MARK LEE

mark would be a nervous wreck when planning to propose to you. he's always been good with words but he'd stutter when he gets too nervous or just tries to laugh it off. he'd have your family and his family in on the surprise with you being completely oblivious. you both are having a family dinner at your place, while mark is nervously playing with the box in his pocket as he watches you with sparkles in his eyes. so when you two were finally alone out on the back porch, you catch the nervousness in his eyes. your small laughter fills his ears as he rubs the back of his neck. but then he meets your eyes again. this moment was now or never. mark professes his love for like he always has when you two were officially together and expresses how he's ready to spend the rest of his life with you. so when he pulls out the box with the ring inside, you stare at him in shock as he ask you the big question: "will you marry me?"

HUANG RENJUN

renjun would plan to propose to you at the aquarium which happened to be the place you both had your first date. he'd rent the aquarium after closing hours where it would only be the two of you with a few workers to help in on the special surprise. the lights would be dimmed down a bit, the light shinning through the water tank like little shimmer rainbows as the fishes and sea creatures swim about. you'd always be fascinated by the color fishes that would stay closer to the bottom of the tank that you hadn't even noticed the rose petals quickly being tossed around on the floor behind you, leading to renjun who stood nervously but patiently in the middle of the room with flowers in his hand and small box with a ring inside. "renjun-ah, i don't see any sea turt-" you pause mid-sentence when you turn your around to find your boyfriend standing there with a smile already on his face when he meets your eyes. you see how shy he gets when he laughs to himself, throwing his head back a bit before walking closer to him. he's unable to keep the eye contact as you laugh a little with him. "baby, what's all this for?" renjun hums a little before handing the flowers in your direction while you gladly take. they were your favorite flowers. and as you take them, renjun slowly gets down on one knee and you're taken aback. he presents the proposal ring to you as you bring a hand to cover your mouth. "y/n, you make me the happiest. i've always felt safe with you like i could share anything without the need to hold back. you've always been my pillar. and now i want to be that kind of support for you... forever. y/n, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

LEE JENO

you and your boyfriend would literally be texting each other even if you were both in each other's presence. to others, it's weird. but to you both, it was something special. you love that your boyfriend really isn't that type of a high-maintenance guy. you would show love to him and he would reciprocate that same kind of love back. he's never one to show off pda but behind the scenes, he's actually the sweetest and most lovable person. and that's what you love about him, how he can be himself when he's around you. so when you're both texting each other, jeno sends a picture of the proposal ring to you. you look up at him in confusion and he smiles when he meets your eyes before you start texting back. 'what's this?' and he replies. 'it's a ring.' 'well duh, i know it's a ring. but why did you send me a pic of that?' jeno brings his phone closer as both his elbows are propped on the chair's arm rests. 'isn't it obvious? i'm trying to propose to you.' your heart literally jumps out as you look back him but he's avoiding your eyes, still stuck at looking at his phone. "what do you mean?" you blurt out. his eyes finally look away and he has that puppy-dog look as he blinks a couple of times. "i mean, it means exactly what it means." your jaw drop slightly as you place your phone on the table while covering your mouth. "wait.. are you being serious right now?" your looking at your boyfriend for confirmation. he puts his phone on the table before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. he opens the box to reveal the same ring from the picture he sent. "yeah, i am. is that a yes, baby?"

LEE DONGHYEOK

you and your boyfriend would be at your house chilling on your bed as you both watch a netflix show together. haechan would always have this tendency to look in your way, stealing glances every so often which would eventually turn into staring. you notice this and eventually take your attention away from the tv. "you know if you keep staring at me like that, people actually think you're in love with me." you chuckle. "but i am in love with you." he looks at you with a grin on his face as he leans on his propped elbow. "really? i did not know that." you gasp before letting out a small laugh and turning your attention back to the tv. that was one of the things he loves hearing from you: your laugh. his eyes never look away but instead keeps focusing on you. when haechan loves, he loves loyally. he could never give his heart away to another person, not when you already have it. "marry me, y/n." the sudden confession snaps you to reality as you slowly turn to look at him. you thought you might have heard wrong as your boyfriend was always known for joking around a lot. "what?" haechan, who was now sitting up fully looks at you, never breaking eye contact. "i said marry me." you blink your eyes a few times before chuckling a few times as you sit up. "are you being serious right now?" "i'm dead serious." and he leans in closer to you, you swear you can feel his breath on your lips as he stares deeply into your eyes. and when you stare back, you can tell he really is serious. you don't notice the ring he takes out before he takes your hand into his, forcing you to look down at it. "i know i tend to make a lot of jokes, but this time im serious when i say i want to marry you. so will you marry me, y/n?"

NA JAEMIN

it was no surprise how much of an artist jaemin was when it came to photography. being in a wonderful relationship with you for six years, jaemin was ready to spend the rest of his life with you and he had the perfect plan on how to propose to you. you were all dressed up for the evening as jaemin had requested but found yourself curious as you both were entering an art exhibition. jaemin leads you inside by the hand as you follow him. immediately upon entering in, jaemin smiles as he puts some headphones over your ears before pressing the play button. you hear jaemin's voice start to speak as you look at him funny but the smile on his face never wavers. one portrait after another, you start to realize it's all the fragments of your relationship that has been built up to this moment: the first photo he took of you when he met you on the bridge, the day where he attended your first theater play, when he asked you officially to be his girlfriend, another photo of the promise rings he got for the both of you. you hadn't realized jaemin had already let go of your hand as you mindlessly wandered to the last portrait to where your boyfriend's audio recording asked you to stand. the last portrait is blank, just a white page making you even more confused until you're asked to turn around. and you do. only to your surprise you see your boyfriend already down on one knee before you with a small box in his hands. he looks at you with the most romantic eyes explaining how he's ready to spend forever with you. "will you marry me, y/n?"

ZHONG CHENLE

you were always chenle's number one supporter when it came to his basketball games. no matter what, you always made it to his games, never missing one. and for that chenle has always been grateful. so when you receive a text from your boyfriend to meet him at the basketball court where he usually practices, you're already on your way. when you arrive at the outdoor basketball court, you find chenle alone shooting some hoops. smiling to yourself, you make your way over to him quickly coming up from behind. "what happened? the boys couldn't find time to play a few matches with you today?" and chenle grins when he meets your eyes. he passes the ball to you and catch it before dribbling it a few times. "no, i just wanted to shoot some hoops with you." you raise an eyebrow at him before focusing back on the ball and swiftly jogging up closer to the hoop before throwing it up above your head, the ball landing in safely. chenle's admiration for you clearly does not leave his face as he watches you turn to him, meeting his eyes. "actually, there's something i've been planning for some time... something i've been wanting to ask you." you look at him slightly confused before he poses another question. "do you see a future with me?" the question leaves you unguarded and candid, but deep inside yourself you already knew the answer to his question. "of course." and a look of relief washes across his face. "good, because i don't know what i would have done if this didn't work." you look at him even more confused. "if what didn't work." what you didn't noticed is that you had your back facing the bleachers, obviously oblivious to signs chenle's friends were excitedly holding. and when everything was ready and in place, chenle places his hands on your shoulder turning you around and a shocked expression plasters on your face. you see the signs 'will you marry me?' spread across the bleachers being held up in the air by his best friends. your boyfriend slowly walks in front of you before taking out a small box from his pocket and getting down on one knee. "so, will you?"

PARK JISUNG

jisung would totally ruin his own surprise of proposing to you. he would misplace the ring some place that sends him into panic mode before coming home from work. when you arrive home, you notice how tense and nervous your boyfriend was making you slightly concerned as to why he was behaving that way. just when you're about to ask him what's wrong, he's already out the door going to check the car and the streets in case it must have fell from his pocket. pouting slightly, you're left along in the house for a bit so you decide to just go and freshen up with a warm shower. you're hoping jisung would be back when you finish but he wasn't. when you're walking back into the room you and your boyfriend both share, your foot suddenly kicks something. you look down to find a small green, velvet box on the floor and eventually find out it's an engagement ring. your lips press together trying to contain that smile that was threatening to show. jisung was going to propose to you. you hear the front door suddenly open and close indicating that jisung was back in the house. quickly, you close the box and hide it behind your back before you hear your boyfriend call out your name. that's when jisung you finds you in the bedroom. "hi." jisung, still clearly stressed out, squeaks out a small 'hi' back before he's pacing from the bed to the nightstand to the bathroom. "looking for something?" you watch as he peeks his head from the bathroom door. "i am. i lost something important today." "oh? what did you lose?" jisung comes out from the bathroom feeling the signs of defeat. with a pouty look on his face, he walks over to the bed you both share before plopping his back on it. "it's a small box." a grin breaks out on your face before you plant yourself a seat next to him on the bed. "this box you mean?" you pop out the small green, velvet box from behind you presenting it to him before he sits up straight, his eyes widening in relief. "jisung, is this what i think it is?" he carefully takes the box from your hand and opens it, revealing the ring again. "it was suppose to be a surprise..." you could only smile at him. "i'm still waiting for you to ask me, ji." and you watch as his eyes shyly meet your's. "will you marry me?"

©𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐢𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[peachysunrize]

[TANGERINE DREAMS]

summary: being stood up on his wedding day, Aemond’s life takes a turn for the worse. Heartbroken and humiliated, he finds unexpected help in Helaena’s childhood friend, who helps him move back into his family mansion. Summer cocktail parties and a long stay at the Targaryen residency, Aemond might let the girl who’s always been in his life make a home in his heart.

Tangerines, in general, symbolize prosperity, good luck and happiness. So if these delicious fruits appear in your dreams - whole or in the form of juice - it is usually very positive. A dream with tangerines expresses the desire and the possibility of progress and prosperity

word count: 5.2k+

warnings: angst & fluff! English isn’t my first language<3

a/n: loviessssss welcome to the first chap of my summer romance! I hope you love this as much as I do when I’m writing it! Reblogs & comments are most appreciated🥹🍊 and very special thank you to @namelesslosers for betaing this for me<33🩷

Dividers by @/firefly-graphics

Taglist: please fill this form with your username to be added to the taglist!

Updates: every Saturday!

-> Series Masterlist <-

-> other works <-

Chapter 1: runaway bride

He shouldn’t be stressed, should he? 

Everything is in the right place; groomsmen are standing behind him while fixing each other’s coats and reassuring him, bridesmaids are in front of him as they talk and giggle, the guests are whispering and the priest is tapping his fingers on his watch.

Alys is a few minutes late, but it’s just a few minutes, there’s nothing to worry about. Aemond knows she must be even more stressed than he is. It’s their big day after all and naturally, the bride is the more anxious one. Surely that’s true, right? But why are his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his coat uncontrollably, why is rocking on the ball of his feet? He can’t be that nervous.

He looks around, finding his mum biting her nails. She searches around the room, looking for someone, anyone, to come and tell her about her bride-to-be’s whereabouts. His eye finds Helaena, watching as she caresses the flower petals before meeting his gaze, smiling broadly at him. He smiles back, but it doesn’t reach his eyes to convince her he’s doing alright. He is alright, just a tad bit too stressed for everyone’s liking, especially Helaena who can sense his nerves buzzing with excitement and fear. 

The church Alicent chose for his wedding has been used by Targaryens for years and passed on for generations. The walls covered in royalty tapestries of mythical Valyrian gods have seen many weddings and unions, and now, they will see his wedding.

He sighs, wanting to run his fingers through his hair but remembering his hair is in a low bun and his Mum would kill him if he ruined his perfectly done hair. He sighs again, looking up at the ceiling, his brow furrowing in worry.

What is taking her so long? She should have been here ten minutes ago.

Aemond turns around and looks at Daeron, their eyes meeting for a brief second before his younger brother nods and walks to the corner of the hall before slipping out the door without any hesitation. 

“Don’t worry, brother, she’ll come around,” Aegon says, his breath stinking with the three glasses of champagne he’s had from the bar in the garden attached to the church grounds, where they will host the party.

“This isn’t another simple date she can be late to. This is our wedding, Aegon!” He exhales shakily, his voice barely above whispering.

He knows he is right, even Aegon knows he is right, but there is little they both can do. They need to wait for her to show up eventually. She will, won’t she? Of course she will, it was Alys who was too eager to marry, start a family, and take a step towards their shared dreams. She reassured him of his hesitation, and he agreed to do this with a heart full of love.

“Sir,” the priest calls him, “I’m needed for another ceremony in about an hour and the ride there will take a long—“

“She will come,” Aemond’s response is more of a reassurance to him than the priest, “you must have seen this more than us, Sir, the bride always shows up.”

“Yes, yes, my apologies,” the man nods his head, going back to do whatever he was doing before. 

With every second that passes and Alys doesn’t show up he grows more restless, beads of sweat forming on his hairline. Aemond is a closed-up person, not really used to showing his feelings and emotions outwardly, but now, he is tapping his foot on the ground while his eye swipes at the guests, finding his half-sister’s family behind his Mum — he averts his eye quickly. The last thing he needs is to get furious over his sister’s goblins.

“What is taking her so long?” He hears someone say from the guests, even their stupid gossip is not enough to distract them from how late the bride is. He is growing desperate at this point, the muscles in his shin are growing tired with how fast he is tapping his foot on the floor, his fingers can no longer fidget with his coat instead his nails are digging into his sweaty palm.

Please, please, Alys, just open this door… He thinks to himself before spotting Daeron sneaking inside the hall with you on your toe. He watches as the two of you make your way toward Helaena, whispering something in her ear before she and Daeron leap out of the hall in a second, catching everyone’s attention.

The hall grows noisier, and the hushed whispers turn into loud accusations and questions; “Where is the bride?”

“I have always known she was problematic!” 

“Eight years older? How scandalous!”

“How did Viserys Targaryen let his son marry her?”

“I have heard she has quite the reputation with men, always after their money—“

Now his hands are shaking, he hides them by locking them behind his back before he looks in front of him, trying to mask out the noise. Aemond catches your eye, watching as you give him a reassuring smile before taking slow steps towards him.

“Hey you.”

“Hey…” he replies as best as he can without his voice breaking, “you look beautiful.”

“So do you, little nerd!” You reach to fix his bowtie, trying to calm him down a bit, “not so little though, right? You’re getting married before me!”

“Yeah, I’m younger and I beat you to it,” he chuckles a little, silently thanking you for keeping a leash on his nerves.

It’s always been like this since the two of you remember. Growing up close to the Targaryens as Helaena’s kindergarten friend until now, you have grown to know each of the siblings like the back of your hand, especially Aemond who was a constant presence in your games with Helaena since he could walk — sometimes it feels like you are his best friend and not Helaena’s with how attentive you are to him. As much as he wishes for that to be true, he knows the bond you share with his sister is something so precious and special that no one can break it.

“Just so you wait, Aemond, you won’t be invited to my wedding when the time comes!” You tease him, trying to lighten his mood, reaching to fix a few strands of hair that have fallen out of his bun.

“That’s not fair—“

Everyone falls silent when the door is pushed open, revealing a heaving Daeron and a very anxious Helaena. You both turn around to look at the siblings, meeting them halfway with Aegon following you closely. 

“We…” Helaena starts, but she can’t talk. Something bad must have happened for her to be so speechless.

“What?” You ask gently, resting your hand on her shoulders in hopes of trying to get her to talk.

“We found Alys,” Daeron looks at Aemond with an unreadable expression, “but she…”

“Spit it out for fuck sake!” Aegon whispers through gritted teeth, his hand shoved in his pockets as he waits for Daeron to finish his sentence.

“She doesn’t want to get married,” Helaena blurts out, swallowing the lump in her throat as she looks at Aemond with sad sympathetic eyes.

“Hel, this is insane. Did she say it herself—“ you say, frowning slightly.

“Criston is holding her back from running away. There’s a car parked outside, I think—“

Aemond can’t listen to these words anymore, so he pushes past his siblings and you, jogging out of the church towards the attached garden, finding Cole and Alys tangled in a messy fight as she tries to escape from his grasp.

“Alys!” He yells her name, making the couple freeze, but in a second, she knees Cole in his stomach and runs past him, her long white dress drags across the grass as she bolts out of the gates too fast for Aemond to be able to catch up, and once he does, he watches the car leave.

The noises around him vanish, and all he can hear is the thumping of his pulse in his ears, and the sharp breaths he takes. The world around him seems to disappear, and his good eye follows the path the car is taking, his fingers are tingling, his chest rising and falling rapidly while he tries to regain his grip on himself.

He sighs, finally his senses coming back as he looks around him, finding you, his Mum, and his siblings running towards him. Aemond doesn’t wish to talk to anyone, he wants to stay invisible, for the world to swallow him whole and keep him away from the humiliation that is about to be unleashed on him.

“Darling—“

“Aemond—“

The group reaches him, Alicent cups his face in her warm hands as she looks at him with tears stinging her eyes. Aemond can see how devastated she is about him, how she desperately wants to say something and ease his pain but the words are lost in the air when she opens her mouth to utter them.

He reaches and holds her wrists gently, pressing her palms against his cheeks as they silently communicate their emotions — no words need to be said, they understand, Alicent understands his pain, and he knows that she would take it away if she could.

“We should tell the guests,” Aemond says before letting go of his Mum’s hands, striding past his siblings and you towards the salon attached to the church, finding many of the guests already there — his half-sister and her kids with a few other relatives.

He knows they are waiting to hear more of this mess just to taunt him and make his day worse. Everyone knows they are looking for one mistake from him and his family to ruin their reputation, and now, with Aemond Targaryen’s runaway bride, they must be ecstatic.

“What happened, nephew? We thought we were invited for a traditional wedding, but all we see is a lonely groom—“

The glare Aemond gives his uncle and nephews is enough for them to shut up. He tries to put up a strong front, head held high and hands folded behind his back, but if you squint you can see how his resolve is crumbling with each second that he spends in their presence.

He decides not to give in to their silly games and walks towards the bar before he snatches the pack of cigarettes on the stool, leaving the room without saying a word. His mind is foggy as he tries to walk past everyone, he is handling many things at the same time but the bitter and heavy feeling in his chest crushes his strength to process it.

The sound of chatter and gossip fades away as he walks through the back garden of the church; a few little benches and a fountain in the corner hidden from the eyes of the guests with a wisteria tree.

This area could have made a romantic core memory for Aemond and Alys if only things had gone differently…

With a deep sigh, he sits on the ground, his back against the fountain as he fiddles with his bow tie, undoing the first few buttons of his shirt, his coat falling on the ground next to him. He opens the pack of cigarettes, pulling one out before he reaches in his pants for a lighter — something he is sure you’d scold him for as you always do, teasing him lightheartedly about his obsession with lighters.

When he inhales the smoke, his mind gets clearer, and he can think a little better, but he is not sure if he would really like to do so. His ex-fiancé left him just a few minutes ago, and his mind fills with dreadful thoughts.

Was it him?

Was he too young for her? Too immature?

Did she change her mind because she loved someone else?

Was he too strict and selfish?

Was it really him who brought this on himself? On his family?

He blows out the smoke, resting his elbow on his knee as he reaches to untie his bun, his hair falling freely around his shoulders while the droplets of water land on the soft silver strands from the fountain.

It is the beginning of the summer, the spring chill of the weather is replaced with an increasing heat, the birds chipper and he can see the peachy hue of sunset in the sky from between the leaves of the tree.

He feels numb, a dull ache in his chest blooming as the reality hits him. Aemond takes another drag of his cigarette, throwing his head back, and letting his hair fall inside the water fountain. He sniffs, closing his eye to keep his tears from flowing down, the storm of his thoughts wrecking his mind once again.

He loves her, she was his everything from the start — his first kiss, first girlfriend, first fight. Alys was his everything, and now, she is nothing but a memory, a memory he wishes to wipe away quickly. 

How can you claim to love someone and leave them without any remorse? 

There is guilt and sadness, but mostly it’s the doubt and self-hatred that makes him want to sob. Many questions are swirling in his head about how he is the reason she has left. Maybe she was right about leaving him, no one would like to be the wife of a man who deals with heavy pain daily.

He takes another drag, relishing in the feeling of the soft evening breeze that kisses his heated skin, cooling him down a little. The smell of smoke grounds him in this world, making him forget about the mess that is probably happening in the church. He is sure his siblings and Mum are trying their best to talk to Alys’ relatives and other guests, explaining the situation in a hurry.

“Your suite must have cost thousands,” you say casually, announcing your presence as you walk with your long dress in hand, careful with how uneasy your heels feel on the soft grass, making your way to where he is sitting.

“Nothing compared to the decorations she ordered,” he scoffs, putting out his cigarette on the edge of the stone of the fountain before he straightens his neck and looks at you.

“Yeah, I saw them,” you sigh, fisting your skirt before sitting next to him, shoulders touching subtly, “she has a very… interesting taste. Who’d thought a lawyer would be into witchcraft?”

“She likes things no one can understand,” he says, gazing up at the wisteria tree, “I also paid for the dress you are getting wet grass stains on—“

“That was irrelevant because Hel bought it for me! She knew how much of an ass you’d be about it,” you chuckle a little, watching as a ghost of a smile finds its way to his face before it falters and his eye drops to the grass, the smile no longer visible.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why Alys left,” he scoffs in disbelief again, shaking his head a little as he thinks of every bad trait he has, considering all of them could be the reason she decided she was better off without him.

“Her loss,” you say softly, “you are too funny, little nerd, even for someone who can be a stuck-up ass sometimes.”

“You are lucky my sister loved you enough to keep you around because I’d get rid of you the second I could,” he mumbles, huffing out a small laugh when you punch his biceps playfully.

“That’s not nice, Aemond!” You laugh together, rubbing the place where you hit him, “You love me too, that’s why you will never get tired of me,” saying this, you can see his shoulder tensing — love, what a weird word to use. 

Does he love you? Does he even love anyone?

Maybe he does, but it wasn’t enough to keep his fiance with him.

Maybe his love was too much for Alys to bear.

“How did you find me?” He asks, his voice hoarse and thick, “I was trying to be invisible.”

“Give me that—“ you grab the pack of cigarettes from him, pulling one out and waiting for Aemond to light it for you. You inhale a puff, handing it back to him before looking up at the sky, “do you remember when you’d steal my books and go into your old stables to read?”

“I do, no one could find me,” he takes a drag of the cigarette, blowing out the smoke before he talks, “but you did.”

“I believed you would do it because you wanted someone to look for you,” you look at him with soft eyes, “and I always did. Your siblings had no idea where you would go, but I knew you like the back of my hand. Or maybe I just wanted my book back!”

He matches your smile, but you can see the pain in his eye, this is not a time to beat around the bush. He wishes to let it out — whatever it is. Perhaps it’s anger, frustration, betrayal, maybe it’s his ultimate desire to vanish into thin air to save himself from the press and humiliation that he’ll be going through.

“What did I do wrong?” He asks, and you must be able to see the agony he is in, he is in grave distress, and the cloud of doubt is causing a tornado in his head that will kill the remaining of his confidence, “did I not give her enough love, show her how much I wanted her?”

“You gave her your heart, something you would never do for someone you didn’t like,” you reach and squeeze his shoulder, “you did your best, gave her your everything. We all saw how devoted you were, it is not your fault.”

“Then why? Why?!” He asks desperately, looking at you with his wide teary eye, the ocean blue orb staring into your soul with need, “I thought I was everything she wanted, she said it herself—“ he looks away before he can cry, throwing his head back to stop the tears from falling, putting the cigarette between his thin lips.

“You are more than enough, Aemond—“

“She wasn’t worth it, was she?” He cuts you off, “she took me for granted,” he sounds so little, so fragile, and he feels so.

“You loved her! I’m sure, Aemond, that your love for her was so beautiful and precious, it was Alys who couldn’t be better.”

“She was the one who wanted to get married as soon as possible…” he whispers, closing his eye as he talks with the cigarette between his lips, “even Aegon made fun of me for not saying no to her, he said I needed to grow up and not give in to her whims.”

“Aegon is a little shit, he can’t even keep one girl in a one-month relationship. He should be the last person on earth to get advice from,” You nudge his shoulder, grab the cigarette, and pull it away from his lips, “loving your partner is not a crime. So what? You liked spoiling her, did you not?”

“Yeah, I did…” he says, looking back down at his fingers rubbing over the fabric of his pants, “Alys used to tell me I was a kid too, that I needed to grow up or else I wouldn’t be a good husband.”

“Oh, Aemond…”

He averts his gaze towards you, tears brimming in his eye, “I did everything I could,” he is helpless, the gut-wrenching feeling is eating him alive.

“Don’t bottle it up, little nerd,” you reach and push a few strands of his hair behind his ear, “you can cry, I’m here.”

And he does; he rests his head on your shoulder and starts sobbing quietly, tears falling on his scarred cheek.

“I’m here,” you whisper, wrapping your arm around his shoulders, making him feel safe enough to pour his emotions out.

Aemond has been avoiding the situation as best as he can; ignoring his grandfather’s calls, not leaving the house for a few weeks, and trying to get a hold on his life again.

All his efforts are in vain.

He still lives in the same apartment in Rosby he and Alys bought a few months ago, their photos and pictures hanging on the walls, the bed they used to sleep on together, their bathroom, their kitchen — everything feels like an old movie reel, a twilight zone he doesn’t know if he likes to leave or embrace and drown in it.

Aemond has been keeping contact with his siblings throughout the past week, refusing their help to come and live with him for a while, saying he wanted some time alone to figure out what he wished to do from then on.

The media is filled with pictures of him standing outside the garden catching the car speeding away — how the paparazzi get there? No one knows but the fingers are pointed at his half-sister and uncle. The pictures are all over the news and the internet, mainly using his Targaryen name to drag him into the dirt.

He plops down on the couch, unlocking his phone only to be greeted with thousands of texts from his Mum and Daeron, begging him to come home and stay the summer with them in Targaryen residency. It’s not an idea he hasn’t entertained before, in fact, he would like to go back home and take some time off for himself. So he texts Alicent and tells her he’ll move in with them for a while until he is better and ready to come back to this forsaken apartment.

He starts packing a few hours later, dirty clothes thrown into the washing machine while he sits on the floor with a huge suitcase ready to be filled. Suddenly his phone starts ringing, startling him greatly. He reaches for the phone on the bed, looking at the screen to see who’s calling him. You. Your name lights up his phone, making him smile a little, thinking probably the word has spread like wildfire.

“Hey,”

“Hey yourself, little nerd!” You say enthusiastically, “heard you wanna move back into your Mum’s place.”

“Hmm, yeah,” he sighs, securing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he talks to you, “a change would be nice, especially for the summer.”

“Then you’re in luck!” You reply, “Hel asked me to come and spend the summer at the mansion too!” he chuckles when he hears you groaning over who knows what before continuing, “Anyway, I’ll come to your place whenever you want so I can help you pack whatever you’d like to take there and then drive to King’s Landing.”

“Sounds great, I really appreciate the offer,” he agrees, grabbing the phone as soon as the washing machine stops, “I’d like it if you could take some time and come here tomorrow?”

“Of course, just send me the location, alright? The sooner we pack, the sooner we can have some of Aegon’s magnificent cocktails!”

“Urgh, that loser will be home too?” He feigns a groan, breaking character when he hears your snort.

“Stop being mean to him, he makes the best Sex on the Beach!” You both chuckle, knowing you are right, Aegon does make the best cocktails known to humankind, “We’ll have fun there, and I’ve missed Vhagar so much!”

“I missed her too,” Aemond says fondly, “thank you again for helping me out, I wouldn’t have reached out if you didn’t call me.”

“Oh I know, that’s why I called. You can always count on me! Anyway, I’ll come tomorrow and help you pack.”

“Alright, thank you, I’ll text you the address,” Aemond says, grabbing the basket to empty the wet clothes from the washing machine.

“See you tomorrow, Little nerd!”

“You should have told me you have a Chevy Camaro, I doubt we can fit anything in this little car!” you hug and greet him when he opens the door, “I brought my things too if it’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, sure, the sooner we pack, the sooner we can leave!” He replies, grabbing your suitcase’s handle, and leading you inside his apartment, “Don’t worry, my car has carried much larger things. This is nothing.”

“Whatever you say! Now— woah, you are packed already?” You look around the room, a few boxes neatly put on top of each other and labeled, one backpack and another half-filled suitcase on the floor.

“I just need some help with my clothes and whether I should…” he points at the framed photos on the walls, photos of him and Alys, “throw them out or send them to her with her belongings.”

“Well, I think you should give it some time before you do something you might regret,” you squeeze his shoulder lightly, “it seems we can go tonight, right? You don’t have many things left to pack.”

“Yeah, just a few clothes! You can get the snack while I put them in the suitcase—“

“No, no, lemme fold your clothes! You should start putting the boxes away, I’ll get everything ready,” you pat him on the chest, walking towards his bedroom to fold his clothes for him.

He nods silently and thanks you before he grabs the boxes and leaves the apartment. You both work quickly, taking a break and having tea together, you ask about how he’s holding up, and he dismisses your questions as best as he can, not really wishing to entertain the thoughts that’ll disturb him.

“Aemond, do you want to bring your books too?” You ask him, groaning as you drop the heavy box on his bed, “because I doubt we’ll have enough space to take all of these with us to King’s Landing.”

“Just those that are already tucked away!” He yells from the kitchen, finishing cooking for you, “We’ll finish it after dinner, c’mon.”

“Okay,” you sigh tiredly, not really expecting the packing to drag on for so long. After all, he said he only needed a few clothes, not half of his wardrobe with his expensive watches and sunglasses.

“I think we have packed enough for at least ten spontaneous parties Aegon will be throwing this summer,” you mutter, sitting behind the island in the kitchen.

“I doubt he’d let an occasion like my birthday let go so easily now that I’m back home,” Aemond shrugs, handing you a plate, “he mostly ignores the occasion but I’m sure he and Mum will do something, and make a huge deal out of it. That’s why I need to be prepared.”

“Well, it’s the first birthday in a while that I’m attending too so it better be something good!” You tease him, thanking him for the delicious meal.

“It will be, or at least Mum’s plans will be great. She has Daeron as her non-assigned assistant now that I’m gone and they make quite the duo. They always host the best gatherings together.”

“Alicent is a perfectionist, of course, she’ll be the best person to throw a birthday party for you,” you agree with him, “but you can’t deny that Aegon’s parties are always better! He’s reckless, and the drinks are the best.”

“Only the best for the oldest Targaryen son, right?” He sighs again, looking down at his plate, “Sorry, it slipped my tongue, I shouldn’t have said it.”

“It’s okay,” you reach and rub his forearm, “you’re dealing with lots of things now, I understand, we all do.”

“I hope I don’t ruin your summer with us with my stupid sappy attitude,” Aemond jokes — or at least tries to.

“Sappy or not, you are my best friend’s brother, and I watched you grow up! There is nothing you can do to make my time with you miserable,” you smile at him softly, finishing your plate before you both stand up to get ready and leave, “I’ll take care of the dishes, you go close your suitcase and we take whatever’s left to your car.”

Time passes quickly and you find yourself getting inside Aemond’s car later than you expected. He makes sure everything is packed and safe both in the apartment and in the trunk before he gets inside the passenger seat — he can’t drive at night because of his eyesight so you’ll drive to King’s Landing. It’s not a long ride fortunately; four hours by car and you’ll be there in no time.

Aemond, despite trying to keep up with the conversation, falls asleep halfway through the road, and you let him take a nap before you arrive there and get bombarded by questions left and right.

When you pull in front of the entrance gates, Cole is already waiting for you, ready to take your bags out and park the car even though someone else could be doing it.

“Hi, Cole,” Aemond greets him with a thick voice, rubbing his sleepy eye before he gives Criston a halfway hug, patting his back.

You shut down the engine, get out of the car, and greet Cole after you hand him the remote, following Aemond in the path leading to the entrance door with a few boxes in hand as you help him take a few of his belongings inside the house.

Alicent is already waiting in front of the door anxiously, slowly rubbing her throat and neck as she waits for Aemond to reach her before she brings him in a tight embrace, not minding the sharp points of the boxes digging in her sides — just having her son with her is enough to remedy all of her pain.

“My darling,” she tears up a little, caressing his hair and kissing his cheek, “I’m so happy you decided to come home, I missed you so much.” “I missed you too, Mother,” he pulls back a little to put the boxes down and hug her completely, resting his head on top of hers as she wraps her arms around him.

Everyone is interrupted when a series of barks echo in the house, and in a second, a huge fluffy black Chow Chow jumps on Aemond, licking his face happily. Vhagar, oh, how he missed his old lady. He chuckles and scratches behind her ears, ignoring all the stares as he reunites with her.

“Babyyyyyyy!” Helaena squeals before she runs towards you to help you with Aemond’s things, kissing you and giving you a side hug, “Thank you for agreeing to come! I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun together.”

“Thank you for having me, lovey!”

“I’m so thankful you helped him, darling,” Alicent pulls away from the pair nearly lying on the floor while one of them is having his face licked, her hand caressing your back as she draws you in her arms as well, “Thank you for bringing home, I’m in debt to you—”

“Oh, no, it was nothing!” You look at her before giving Aemond and Vhagar a cheeky smile, “It was the least I could do, I’m glad I could help.”

“Come, come! You must be tired, your rooms are ready. Cole will take your bags,” she says, leading the way with Aemond who has his free arm wrapped around Daeron, and Vhagar jumps next to his feet while you and Helaena follow them.

“Aegon is asleep, you know him, he has big plans for this summer, especially now that Aemond can use some distraction,” she bumps her shoulder to yours, “meaning we’ll have the time of our lives!”

“Yeah,” you smile at her before looking ahead of you, catching Aemond turning around to give you a quick smile, “What a summer it’ll be.”

[jaylalolz]

❛ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ❜ . . . nicholas chavez

SUMMARY, nicholas’ takes his crush on a special special date, blindfolding her as he leads her to a romantic setup he has prepared.

A/N, have fun reading !!

WARNINGS, none 

Nicholas had been planning this date for weeks, constantly going over every detail in his mind until it was perfect. Now, as they drove through the city, the late afternoon sun painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, he glanced over at her, her face glowing even under the blindfold.

"You’re killing me, Nick," she laughed, fidgeting with the edge of the blindfold. "Can I please know where we’re going?"

"Nope," Nicholas grinned, gently reaching over to still her hands. "It’s a surprise, and we’re almost there. Just trust me."

She huffed dramatically, but there was a smile on her lips, her excitement bubbling underneath her playful complaints. "I do trust you," she said softly, "I just really hate not knowing."

Nicholas squeezed her hand, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering wildly. "You’re going to love it, I promise."

A few minutes later, the car slowed to a stop. Nicholas parked and came around to open her door, guiding her out carefully. Her fingers tightened around his as they walked, and he could sense her curiosity growing. The smell of roses and fresh air surrounded them, and Nicholas led her to a spot he had chosen just for this moment.

"Okay," he whispered, standing behind her now, gently holding her shoulders. "On the count of three, you can take off the blindfold. Ready?"

She nodded eagerly, her heart pounding in anticipation.

"One… two… three."

Her fingers quickly untied the blindfold, and when her eyes adjusted to the soft golden light of the setting sun, her breath caught in her throat. In front of her was a beautifully laid-out scene: a large poster that read, "Can I be your boyfriend?" written in bold letters, surrounded by rose petals scattered across the ground. Balloons floated gently in the breeze, a teddy bear sat waiting by the poster, and a box of chocolates rested beside it. The entire area felt magical, like it had been pulled from a dream.

Her hands flew to her mouth, tears welling in her eyes as she turned to Nicholas. "Are you serious?"

Nicholas’s face was flushed, nervousness and excitement mingling together as he stood there, waiting for her reaction. "I’ve been serious about you since elementary school," he confessed, his voice soft but steady. "I’ve liked you for so long, even back when we were kids. I just never had the guts to say it. But now… I don’t want to wait anymore. I knew back then that you were the one."

Her heart melted at his words, the emotion flooding through her as she stepped closer to him, tears of happiness spilling over. "Nicholas…" she whispered, her voice shaky. "I don’t even know what to say."

"Just say yes," he smiled, his hand reaching out to take hers. "Say yes, and let me be the guy who makes you happy every single day."

She laughed through her tears, overwhelmed with joy. "Yes," she said, nodding emphatically. "Of course, yes!"

Nicholas let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and in an instant, he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her in a warm embrace. "You have no idea how happy you just made me," he murmured into her hair.

"I think I do," she teased, looking up at him with shining eyes. "Because I feel the same way. I’ve felt the same way for so long, but I never knew if you did."

Nicholas smiled, brushing a stray tear from her cheek. "I’m going to make sure you never doubt it again."

They stood there, holding each other, surrounded by the soft glow of the evening light, the rose petals dancing around them in the breeze. Everything about the moment felt perfect—like it had always been meant to happen this way.

As they pulled back slightly, Nicholas leaned down, his forehead resting against hers. "I’m so lucky," he whispered.

"We’re both lucky," she corrected, her hand gently resting on his chest. "I’ve always known it was you too."

They kissed then, softly, tenderly, the world around them disappearing as they lost themselves in each other, in this moment they had both waited for so long.

[elysian-fawn]

꒰ 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗉𝗍 : 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠𝘩𝑖𝑝 𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ! ꒱ 𖦹ׂ ₊˚⊹⋆

꒰ᯓᡣ𐭩꒱ the day you and your sﾉo met holds some monumental earthly event; whether it’d be aurora borealis colouring the night sky with vibrant shades of purples, pinks and greens or a very rare meteor/star shower that washes over and brightens up the deep navy sky ꒰ or whatever your favourite beautiful and rare natural phenomenon is hehe ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა ꒱

꒰ᯓᡣ𐭩꒱ your relationship with them is something born out of a fairytale book. it’s one so soft, healthy, trusting and so utterly chock-full of love and admiration on both ends, your friends love to place the honorary title of “if you guys break up I’ll never believe in love anymore” on your relationship :3

꒰ᯓᡣ𐭩꒱ were you to ever have any sort or argument/disagreement with your sﾉo, they always make sure to walk away before things get too heated until you’re both cooled down and level-headed to properly have a discussion where you lay your hearts out on the table, and they always make it so that you both never go to bed angry at one another

꒰ᯓᡣ𐭩꒱ they love loving you! it’s one of their favourite thing to see you happy, to be the cause behind any smile that blooms on your face. and in their own way, they always treat you so soft and delicately as though you’re a flower petal that lays gently in the centre of their palm

꒰ᯓᡣ𐭩꒱ the spark in your relationship never fades, if anything it only manages to glow brighter and brighter the longer you’re together. you both always find the time for one another, still coyly flirt with one another, compliments shared between you two never run dry, the two of you always carving out a special place in your schedules so you’re able to go on bi-weekly or monthly ꒰ or however commonly you want! ꒱ dates, etc. etc.

꒰ᯓᡣ𐭩꒱ they are wholly supportive of you and your dreams. ꒰ think something along the lines of third act Prince Naveen in The Princess and the Frog T^T ꒱ they are something like your number one fan, always lending a helpful ear and doing what they can to help you achieve all that you’ve set out to do, and they’re always happy in watching the accumulation of your hard work pay off in you thriving and your success

[cinhomi]

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: boyfriend's best friend Hwang Hyunjin x fem reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you should've left your boyfriend sooner considering the man of your dreams, his best friend, has always been there for you... but the faithful event you were hoping for finally occurs and you find yourself at his house, in his arms, in his bed.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst?, smut, fluff, aquaintances to lovers

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cheating (but not really, you'll see), reader is in a toxic relationship, explicit descriptions of sexual acts, unprotected sex (it's sexy but use protection babes), fingering, pretty vanilla.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.4K

I have a thing for sex while it rains, it seems... and like this I post something after months. I'll work this storyline in the future too for Hyunjin, but for now, enjoy!

It's strange how sometimes we believe to be in the right place to later find out we were living in a lie, a product of our fervid imagination, just to not accept reality and the fact that life, or even our past self, played a good and structured not-so-funny prank on us.

These lies we tell ourselves most of the time are a response to our awful experiences, but they can become harmful in numerous types of ways, and we should learn that instead of letting us be tempted by sweet beliefs. When we find ourselves facing reality it's hard to accept it, it's ugly, but ugly things are part of life and we should try and accept them nonetheless, they may reveal themselves as lessons or the best things that happened to us, with various meanings to that.

What pisses people off the most is the "waste of time". And that's how you feel too, like the rest of humankind, angry because you wasted time. You would very gladly prefer to be in the denial stage of the whole thing but it's so evident that you can't even pretend to be doubtful, to question what you saw, to give him a chance to explain himself.

The car is still cold even if you already reached the destination that popped in your mind right after what happened, salty tears adorning your eyes as they cross your freezing cheeks, collecting under your chin, falling on your scarf. The same damn scarf he gifted you after your first two weeks of dating, the one you didn't even like at all, the color you hated, a dull pattern over it… the urge to pull down the car window and throw it outside in the middle of the parking lot soon becomes reality. Wind starts to rise a bit, and you see it dance on the wet concrete for a while before a car passes over it and plasters it on the ground.

Ironic, right? You feel a bit bad after the impulsive gesture, but he didn't hesitate to make you feel the same, so, "screw it".

You shouldn't even be here. You should go to your own best friend, sitting on her way too low couch with its broken springs and cry your eyes out as she yells at you her usual "I told you so!" and "You're an idiot, I knew it from the start!" even if what you really need is comfort, and not to be scolded like a twelve years old while she offers you chocolates and tissues like in some chiché romcom.

That's why Hyunjin's place is just few meters and five floors away from you now. You're actually hesitant to get out the car but when you see your boyfriend's text appear on your screen, asking where are you, it's suddenly not so difficult to take your things and rush to take the elevator, and when you send Hyunjin a message telling him you're in front of his apartment he's quick to open the door. He doesn't say a thing, he doesn't even dare to, he already knows.

He delicately takes your hand in his and guides you inside with a saddened smile, his eyes soft as they watch you attentively trying to search for your tears. God, he wants to kiss them all away, he never wants to see you like this ever again, but he thinks it's probably not the last time… is it? Either way, he'll do anything he can to make the redness of your eyes disappear.

"Go sit on the couch petal, relax for me, hm?" he says in a hushed tone to not provoke your impending outburst. When you're finally hugged by his cushions you feel his presence behind you, his hands going on your shoulders to free you from your heavy coat and bag that he places on his forearm. When he reaches for your scarf his fingers are suddenly met with the cold skin of your neck and a startled "oh!" escapes from him because of the unexpected touch, making you giggle. If only you knew how his heart starts beating faster whenever he hears you like this…

"Where is your scarf? You always wear it, were you in such a rush to leave it at your place?" he's now lowered near your face, breath tickling your cheek as he adjusts your jumper on your shoulders ー the stained one you only wear at home, you didn't even change, how embarrassing. He touches you like frail porcelain and little bumps start to rise on your skin where traces of his touch linger, you wish his fingerprints could bruise your skin.

"I threw it in the parking lot…" you explain, looking at him trying to not make your lips touch while doing so.

A laugh that comes from his chest slowly builds up as he lifts himself and reluctantly distances from your face to go place your belongings on the hanger at the entrance. If only he knew how your heart twists in excitement whenever you hear him like this…

Hyunjin doesn't come back to you immediately. He always makes sure you have enough time to think by yourself first, to gather your words, to decide if you want to cry or yell, and then he sits beside you and goes along with anything you've come up with. It's always been like this until today, every time you came to his place after something happened between you and his best friend, every time he had to gather your broken pieces and try to put you together again. He doesn't know he's always done that beautifully though, making a breathtaking mosaic out of you, making you so splendid and wonderful anyone could say he's your creator.

You hear a distant rustling in the kitchen, the clicking of the bottles in the fridge as he closes it with a thud, two glasses colliding it seems, and his slippers sliding on the floor, approaching you.

"You're lucky petal, I have your favorite today." he proceeds to place the glasses on the way too elegant coffee table and pour the drink with all the calmness in the world. Time with Hyunjin stops. You think that every second spent with him is never wasted.

"I like this clip, it compliments your hair color." he says suddenly, snapping you out of your trance. How could he notice such a thing?

"Really? It's the first time I wear it…" you still mumble a bit, too shaken to let your voice take its natural timbre. Hyunjin laughs again, handing you the drink and carefully sitting so as to not spill everything on his expensive carpet. His body is completely facing yours, knee against knee.

"It's not true!" Hyunjin takes a sip and giggles at your confused expression.

"You had it the first time we met, too. It was perfect with your dress and necklace. Do you really not remember? You looked beautiful…"

What Hyunjin refers to is a random saturday evening of autumn. What day it was, what you were wearing, what you did before meeting in front of the restaurant, you can't remember… but what you can vividly recall is the stinging sensation of the first cold breeze of the season on your cheeks, how crunchy multicolored leaves swirled on the sidewalk, and the city lights beginning to be turned on a bit earlier than usual. Now that you think about it, it was around this period. You remember what perfume you wore, paying attention to what type of impression you wanted to give to your boyfriend's group of friends that you were about to meet for the first time, and you even remember what mascara you decided to use.

But what remained tattooed on your bones the most are the first ten seconds of Hwang Hyunjin taking possess of your vision, because you felt incredibly sick.

If you close your eyes and concentrate you can almost feel the same emotions, when your stomach swirled like it was a washing machine, your head light, and your legs almost giving in making you trip while standing still.

You felt incredibly guilty, disgusted with yourself, disappointed, a monster. Why the hell your first thought was "he's my soulmate" and not something along the lines of "nice, my boyfriend's best friend" you still don't know. Call it destiny, call it sixth sense, you immediately tried to suppress it all.

It didn't help that Hyunjin's slender fingers delicately took your hand to kiss your knuckles with his oh, oh so beautiful lips like an ambassador of chivalry itself, his siren eyes looking up at you sweetly but confidently, making you blush like crazy ー you later blamed your flustered expression to the restaurant's excessive heating.

On top of that, your boyfriend decided to sit at your side leaving Hyunjin in front of you, so you had his ridiculously handsome face in sight for the whole night as you ate your stupid california rolls and tried to elegantly slurp your noodles ー for as much as something like that is even possible.

You talked, a lot, even if you felt your face heat up at every strangely seductive giggling sound he made together with the little bumps his shoes would land on your naked ankles, toying with your heels from time to time. You had so much in common, and after that you only felt complete when he was near you.

Your boyfriend did catch on with the new dynamic though, so unfortunately considering how jealous and a bit possessive he is, you and Hyunjin didn't see each other as often as you expected after that, but you really didn't grasp that it was because he wanted you apart at first, just a series of unfortunate coincidences.

Hyunjin parted from you with a tight hug, lingering his hands on the smaller of your back, adjusting your shawl over your coat and twirling a strand of your hair behind your ear, the moment never fully leaving your memory. He was… perfect, really just perfect, and you couldn't help but feel nauseous when you got in the car with your boyfriend to let him accompany you to your apartment, the thought of another man being more suited for you making you feel like you were cheating. You only felt relieved when you talked about all his friends during the ride and he revealed that Hyunjin is "a bit of a player, y'know, he flirts with everyone and he has those french manners, but he's always been like this." so you thought that maybe your feelings would slowly fade… but they always, always rested down the bottom of your heart, even if you pushed them away forcefully, almost violently.

No one knows you two meet up from time to time now, because one time you found yourself crying in a corner on his shouler. No one knows that you always seem happy and carefree only because you talk with Hyunjin, because he comforts you when you need it without complaining. Not that it needs to be a secret, but you both are well aware that it may result suspicious to meet with your boyfriend's best friend late at night, best friend's girlfriend from his side.

And the fact that you two always seem to attract each other like magnets, so close, with instant connection, it doesn't let thoughts stray further from the idea of something tender existing between the two of you, everyone can see it.

It's just that it's prohibited. Or, to say it better, you were too caught in your lies to even contemplate the idea of leaving your boyfriend and Hyunjin simply didn't want to betray his "friend". But when you started to message him asking for advice, when you later had long calls together, when you crumbled in his arms crying almost weekly, he wasn't so sure about having a best friend anymore.

"I… you really think I was beautiful?"

Your question comes from the heart. The mixture of the memories of that night and his proximity makes heat rise on your face, shyness visible from the automatic action of your teeth catching your bottom lip and your gaze straying from his face to linger on the glass in your hands. The bubbles of the drink fizzle on the surface and for a moment or two that's all that can be heard in the room.

"You're always beautiful, y/n. I told you many times." he says cautiously, putting down everything to wrap his hands around your wrist.

"I don't know how he doesn't make you feel like you are, I don't know why he treats you like this but, petal, you're an incredible woman," he lowers his head to look into your eyes as he tries to explain himself further, "smart and strong. He's an asshole and you should stop doing this to yourself."

Does he know? Does he know what your boyfriend did? Probably not. Hyunjin would never hurt you, he would've immediately told you. You want to make sure though, in case everything that involves Hyunjin is a lie too.

"Why are you his friend then? Why do you keep coming to our house and have dinner as we fake not knowing each other like we really do? Why do you keep on hanging out with him? If you really think he's terribleー"

"Because I want to protect you."

His reply is fast, cutting you off. His stare bores into your eyes and drinks in all of your feelings, like he can see them displayed in front of him. A few seconds of silence fill the room and you suddenly gulp down your drink until the last drop, sprinting up from your seat and escaping his intoxicating presence that's almost engulfing you.

Hyunjin doesn't say a thing. He waits, he can sense that something big happened this time and fuck if he's going to kill his "friend" after this. You were never this silent, you usually would storm inside and throw yourself on him… for as much as he dislikes seeing you like this, he's grateful for your presence, for the feel of your body against his, the trust you put into him. He doesn't do all this just to be a rebound, he already knows part of him is yours and vice versa, so he's simply waiting. Everyone considers him being a romantic man, but really, he just believes in destiny. When Hyunjin first saw you every cell in his body started to boil, goosebumps rising down his nape, the world destroyed itself and was reborn before him, it's impossible that it didn't matter at all.. That was the day he realized he didn't know what "love" meant before.

He watches your silhouette get near the big windows that face the road, little droplets of water striking them. The sound of the rain reaches your ears only when you notice the detail, and soon you see how much water is actually coming down from the sky, your scarf already soaked and dirty laying alone between various cars. You take a deep breath, thinking about your next words, a way to tell Hyunjin what happened without sounding pathetic as you concentrate on the mesmerizing foliage outside, reds and oranges and yellows decorating the city landscape.

"He accidentally left his phone at home since he rushed to his office, I don't exactly know why…" you started to explain, hands fidgeting with your rings, heavy breath obstructing your throat, "and I heard a notification so I went to check right?"

Hyunjin slowly gets up and approaches you, his warmth radiating behind you now, hands resting on your shoulders and caressing them as he listens and slowly gets closer and closer until he's hugging you.

"So, petal? What was it about? Did you find porn?" he tries to guess, but when you shake your head as a 'no' a cold chill goes through his back. Oh, oh no…

"It… it was a message, a very sexual one, coming from a saved contact, I don't even remember the name." you pout, looking down almost in shame even if you're not the responsible one. Maybe it's the shame of having a cheater as a partner.

"I opened the chat Hyunie. They've been sexting for months and from what I could grasp they even met few times…" you can feel tears start to form on your waterline again, a deep ache inside your chest rises when you finally say it out loud. One thing was to acknowledge it, another was to tell everything to the man you've secretly been in love with for a year already. What were you doing exactly all this time?

"Am I really not good enough for anyone, Hyunie? She's… she's so different from me… Am I really a disaster as he says? Why would he do that to me? I've always been a good girlfriend, I even ignored all those mean words and his being immature and the shitty sex!! I put aside my needs to make him happy thinking I was the problem!" you turn around to face him and you're met with his serious expression.

You expected to find him at least slightly surprised by your sudden show of emotions, but he's calm, he radiates calmness. Hyunjin sighs and looks in the distance behind you for a second, blinking ever so slowly, his touch traveling up to cup your cheeks and wipe your angry tears with his thumbs.

That's the final stroke, the gesture that makes you sob and bury your face in his chest to hide.

You aren't broken yet, it's almost as if Hyunjin is physically holding you together. He's trying to smooth the new sharp edges that formed around your heart to not let it be isolated, while hugging you he's working hard to let it be still approachable to receive and give love, he's trying with all he has to prevent a horrible plague that's trying to approach you.

You hold his shirt between your hands, tightly, you're afraid you'll ruin it but you can't stop, you need to ground yourself and try to be strong, but it's so hard to not let him sway you around the room, lullying you as he hushes you and lets his fingers comb your messy hair.

"Leave him."

You freeze.

Did he really say that? Hyunjin never said it out loud. He did make you understand his vision about the situation, he did suggest it with hidden phrases, but so explicitly…

"It's time to let him go, don't you think?" he presses his lips on your forehead, continuing to mumble his real feelings, "You don't need someone who mistreats you petal. You deserve better." he closes them in a kiss that leaves a mark on your soul, making you gasp.

"Hyunjin?" it takes a lot of strength to look up at him. His eyes seem less gentle, brows forming a frown that's not his usual playful one, a bit scary even. The mole under his eye is contracted and his mouth is curved in disgust, just enough for you to understand he's furious.

"Why don’t we put an end to this farce? He didn't even deserve you in the first place, you don't love him, stop doing this to yourself y/n. There's someone who's the right one, for sure…" his tone is desperate, but you want him to say it clearly. You can't help it, if it's to be sure or to satisfy a need you've been having for a while you don't know, but you want him to say it loud and clear.

You know that if he says it now everything will change and it'll be scary as fuck, but if that's a premise for a better life… maybe it's not as scary as you think, it's Hyunjin after all, the man who's looking at you in adoration.

"And what man could possibly want me at this point?" your voice is shaky and uncertain as you tease the confession out of him.

Hyunjin looks away and smiles, a bit frustrated. He wipes another tear away from your cheek and then places his hands on your waist.

"Me?" he fakes the question, smiling softly; "Be mine y/n."

Breath gets caught in your throat as he finally says it. It's wrong that you waited for it, it's wrong that your first instinct is to say yes without thinking about it.

"Hyunjin Iー"

"Ooh don't say you don't reciprocate, petal. I know you too well." he interrupts you, his hold a little tighter. Hyunjin tilts his head to the side, few strands of black raven hair following the motion and slightly covering his eyes. He's beautiful now, even more than in any other moment you've ever been with him. Hyunjin is the most beautiful man in the world and he wants you.

Your phone starts ringing. It's a strange moment to realize your ringtone is kind of cringe, cutting the tension weirdly… but you can't laugh, not right now. Both you and Hyunjin know who it is.

He's right. You should put an end to all this and start to think for yourself, about what you really want, need. This is not wrong. To love yourself isn't wrong, and Hyunjin makes you feel like the person you want to be.

"Do you want to pick up?" Hyunjin takes his hand under your chin again and directs it up to make your eyes meet his, gaze frenetic as he tries to not look at your tempting lips. Everything will depend on what you decide now. And you think quickly, under pressure, and you don't know if it's a good idea or not but you shake your head and hold him tighter, hiding again.

"Y/n, please look at me…"

The phone eventually stops ringing and silence overwhelms you when you can hear his fast heartbeat right against your ear. And it's because of you, it's for you, your heart starts to adapt to his and you almost feel pain in your chest. It's too much, too much…

Ah, that's it.

You get on your tiptoes to pull him down by his collar and make your lips crash together.

Hyunjin drags you towards him as if you kissed thousands of times before, immediately, tongue slipping into your mouth as you grant him access, making it run along yours. You hold his shoulders trying to search for your lost balance and he's quick to walk you towards his bedroom, he isn't even slightly hesitant.

The desperate sighs you two let out add into the sound of your first kiss; it's a relief, something you didn't imagine to need so badly. Hyunjin pushes you further into the room until your legs meet the mattress and you fall on it guided by him, a knee starting to press beside you as he cradles on the bed on top of you. He can't stop kissing you.

Hyunjin clumsily reaches the lamp on the nightstand to turn it on and oh, oh if this is even better than any fantasy he's ever had… seeing you panting with that flustered expression, your legs already crossing beneath him, jumper half lifted up, your hair all disheveled since you quickly reached for your clip and threw it somewhere in the room. You just look breathtaking in his eyes, even more than any other moment he's ever thought about it. He has to let you know. You didn't think he'd turn on the light but maybe you can put aside your shyness for once if it means having this type of gaze reserved to you.

Your hands try to reach his shirt to pull him out of his trance and he resumes his kissing, hands flying on your sides as they slowly, painfully slowly slide down until he's hooking your pants. Hyunjin lowers down to press chaste kisses on the little part of your cleavage that is exposed, going down to your stomach, then your belly, until he darts his tongue out to lick a stripe just above your groin, leaving a longer kiss there while he proceeds to undress you.

The way you feel embarrassed when you remember you're wearing plain, white cotton panties… but it's honestly sending him haywire. The fact that you didn't expect to end up like this, a confirmation that you didn't plan anything to happen, it's making Hyunjin even harder in his confines. You're so wet your juices dampened the fabric, making it almost transparent, and he sighs at the faint outline of your cunt now puffy and pulsing… and he still has to touch you properly.

Hyunjin is honestly the same. You can't see it but waves of excitement run over him so violently he physically trembles and his legs give in from time to time.

“I'm gonna fuck you so good you won't dare to come back to him…” it's whisperes, almost as if he's accidentally thinking out loud but it makes you clench. Hyunjin's fingers start to tease you on top of the fabric, seeing the wet patch getting larger and larger. You can't believe this part of him exists… how many things do you still have to learn about him?

Hyunjin keeps on touching you there but this time he starts flicking, snapping his fingers where you're most sensitive, the tingles that start to make you jolt are strong and they make your breath sharp.

“H-Hyunjin…” your stuttering voice slightly higher as you call for him, he rolls his eyes back.

“Hyunjin please…” you can't help but pant, wrapping your hand around his forearm to try and make him slow down. Is this what those stupid magazines talked about? That sex feels better when you do it with someone you love? So fucking true.

Hyunjin feels on cloud nine. He starts paying attention on your neck tenderly but still with open-mouthed kisses as his fingers subtly slide your panties to the side. “Yeah petal, let me hear you, let me…” his words get lost as he concentrates. Ah, it's uncomfy for him. Hyunjin lifts your legs and carelessly slides your underwear off with a hiss, his eyes closing like they've been blinded by the vision of the Virgin Mary for a second, then maniacally staring at your bare cunt, digits caressing your wet folds mere seconds before plunging into your entrance.

You can only let out a choked moan and push your head back onto his soft cushions, that smells just like him. You're completely surrounded by his presence when his scent is all around you, his fingers move smoothly to work you open and his mouth is now latched around your nipple, his forehead pushing your jumper further up. When the hell did he…

“Is it good?” his voice displaying signs of fatigue, urgency and need buried deep inside him. You know his fingers are long but God if they can reach otherworldly places. It's not the in-and-out motion but the brushing of your g-spot that makes your legs close around his sides and poke his ribcage with your knees; he doesn't mind, your tits keep him occupied enough to make him mindlessly keep going. Hyunjin decides that prefers your chest covered in love marks over any art piece he's ever seen these past years, so nothing can disturb his work in progress. Maybe the work itself.

“‘S good Hyunie, Hyun…” it's difficult to breathe, it's difficult to think straight as the bumps of his fingers touch your insides so precisely, as if you've always done this and he already knew your body by memory.

“Did his fingers ever make you feel like this? Hm?”

The question makes you sigh along with a moan. You shake your head.

“Did he ever kiss you like I do?” and Hyunjin kisses you again as the movement of his fingers fastens. His teeth catch your bottom lip and his tongue slides against yours before he sucks it, drool making it shine where you two meet; passionate and euphoric, it feels like experimenting fireworks. You follow his lips when he detaches, but he just smiles and starts pressing his thumb on your bare clit. “Tell me, petal.”

“N-no…”

Hyunjin feels it, the way you start clenching around him, hard. He almost can't move anymore. So he whispers, just above the squelching of his palm spreading your wetness.

“Wanna go to Heaven with me, y/n?”

How, how can you say no? You need Hyunjin, even more than oxygen right now, he already has you completely. Your hands hurry on the button somehow miraculously keeping his pants together, and you reach his zip and pull the fly, that struggles to slide down ー he's too full.

“Wanna try how a real man makes you feel?”

You nod almost too eagerly and he chuckles within a whiffle. Hyunjin deprives you of his fingers despite your whines of protest and spreads your juices all over his face, tongue swirling on his hand. A low groan comes out from him, his touch moving to your hips where he squeezes, plush skin bending under his grip. It's all in contrast with the look in his eyes as he stares at your face, your reactions, as if you were the most adorable thing he's ever seen.

You're so distracted that when you feel something poke your inner thigh you gasp, and can only stare… his cock springs free from his confines altogether, long, slim and leaking, underside vein pulsating under the pads of his fingers as he pumps himself few times, precum dripping on your groin. Hyunjin's eyebrows are knitted together as he grinds between your legs, his still sticky hand moving your lower body closer so that he lifts you back up to wrap his arms around you, hugging you ever so gently.

His full lips kiss your cleavage and he curses under his breath because of his choice to not take all your clothes off but there's not much time anymore. You close your fists on his shirt, the lines of the fabric changing their shape under your hold while you wait for him, subtly writhing impatiently.

“Hyun please hurry…” not once in your life you've been this desperate for a man to fuck you. It's not because of the wait, not because you're horny, it's just that it's Hyunjin.

“Say it.” his eyes are darker, but they shine with the yellow-ish light in the room. He clears your forehead by adjusting your hair away.

You know what he's doing and it's nothing different from what you did before, in the living room, so you're more than willing to satisfy his request. You try to regain a bit of composure and steady your breath before speaking up, his head twitching together with every movement of yours.

"I want you, Hyunjin. I want you, please.”

A big bright smile spreads on his face as his head drops low, in disbelief. Hyunjin didn't imagine those words would have such a strong effect on him but here he is, blushing and trying to hold back a giggle. When he looks back at you he's serious again, eyes piercing into yours.

“I'm going in, hm? I wanna hear you scream my name through it all. Is that clear petal?”

What you'd give to hear him call you petal until the end of time, he says it and it's like dripping honey, he says it and you melt. The warm pool of pleasure in your belly tightens again as you say a shaky “yes”. You're his delicate, fragile petal.

His tip rests just before your entrance for a second while he takes a deep breath, breaching you gently. It's not a big stretch but his veins are already making your eyelids flutter and your lips part. Inch by inch, Hyunjin makes sure you feel his cock going deep, concern showing on your features as he doesn't come to an halt. He does, eventually, but the time he took to do it seemed eternal. “Oh my- Hyunie-”

“Bet my dick feels better than his,” he smirks between the kisses he's leaving under your jawline, “I bet mine's longer too.”

His comments only add fuel to the fire. He's bigger, he's better, the curve of his cock lands exactly on the spot that makes you black out. As you remember that you're technically still in a relationship your phone rings again. It's a distant sound, it's in another room, covered by yours and Hyunjin's sighs and moans, but he hears it too. Hyunjin stops every movement, hips against yours as he's fully inside you. He lifts himself up just enough to check on you. You look at him too.

You don't exchange any word, there's no need to, because you both arch your lips upwards and meet mid-air for another kiss, tender but messy as he moves backwards to get a starting point to his thrusts. The ringtone eventually dies making room to the faint dripping of the rain outside.

You feel warm, squeezing his cock just right and he's sure he will never let you go, never let you change your mind.

“Pussy ‘s so tight petal, was made for me, ‘m sure,” and he starts moving with consistency, picking up a pleasant rhythm, “you're so fucking perfect.”

His necklace is cold against your skin as he keeps on holding you flush against him, as well as your rings leaving icy lines on his back when your hands slip under his shirt and hold onto his shoulder blades. Hyunjin throbs inside you, drawing loud moans out of you that someone will for sure complain about. He thrusts harder, faster, every second that passes and you can only call for his name, yours being whispered by him against your skin making you shiver.

“Waited so long, so fucking long-” a guttural sound interrupting him, “since that time at the club, wanted to make you mine.” he mumbles, words hardly making sense but you decipher them anyway and when you realize what he's talking about the confused memories of it flood your mind. You, swaying your hips in front of him, grinding your ass on his crotch following the music; Hyunjin's hands right under your breasts guiding you together with him, his breath fanning on your neck, drying your tears completely as those three drinks made your head light enough to not care about any problem you complained about minutes before. It was just you and Hyunjin, all this would've happened sooner if a series of coincidences didn't happen.

“You would've let me take you in the bathroom, isn't that right?” Hyunjin asks, not losing concentration even for a second. “I wanted to bring you here, and fuck the sadness away. Every time, y/n, I wanted to tell you to forget him and be with me.”

You feel him stretch his arm between your bodies, and you feel your swollen bud stimulated again, you both whine against each other.

“‘M with you now Hyunie, want only you, ‘m yours babe.”

He's so fast now, the snapping of his hips moving you up and down the mattress… your words affect him on a visceral level.

“I choose you, I'll leave him for you-”

“Fuck!” he's close, so, so close and your walls tightening more and more and more are making him go crazy. Little beads of sweat decorate his forehead, a caramel-like smell coming from him as the crown of his head dampens and some hair stick to his forehead.

His tip keeps abusing your sweet spot, the kiss you share is feverish, your nails dig into his skin and his hold bruises your soft one. Both your bellies contract and before you can process it you're coming, white pois pattern creating over your blinding vision. You say his name out loud, dragging it together with your last moan as the hardest orgasm ever washes over you. Hyunjin pulls out just in time, copious white ropes of cum landing on your stomach like dripping art. Hyunjin loses track of space and time for a few moments as he comes down from his high, then takes you close to him when he lays next to you. Your heavy breath fills every other sound in your ears as you get comfortable hiding in his muscular chest. Your body spasms, all energy left your body already and your chest rises and falls frantically.

Hyunjin caresses your cheek and kisses your hair. It's peaceful. You just had sex with your boyfriend's best friend and it feels peaceful. It starts to feel a bit cold so he grabs the soft sheets near him and covers both of you.

“When will you tell him, petal?”

The question floats in the air for a while. You start playing with his necklace, making it dance between your fingers. He starts to worry a bit, when you don't answer him, but he decides to be patient, like always.

“After we eat something, I'll send him a text.” you seem resolute, and he's convinced. “Can I stay here tonight?”

He's a bit taken aback, his eyes narrowing in surprise: “Wasn't it obvious? You'll stay here from now on anyway.” and he says it so naturally, you think he's thought about this moment a lot… it makes you smile.

Hyunjin rolls to the side briefly, taking some tissues to wipe yours and his stomach since his sticky cum was still there, and kisses the tip of your nose adjusting your jumper back to its original place before sitting on the edge of the bed and taking his phone, after finally freeing himself of his shirt. His back is slender yet defined, long, his spine making a beautiful curve. Your eyes travel from his nape to his glutes, the ones of a dancer. There's a doubt still in the back of your mind, you need to make it disappear.

“Are you… sad, that you can't be friends with him anymore?”

He doesn't even bother looking at you to answer, he keeps scrolling on the delivery app searching for something you may want to eat, the words he's about to say seeming obvious to him.

“We haven't been friends for a while already. I understood he's not the guy I met years ago, he changed, and I don't like to be around him anymore. Don't worry petal, it's not entirely because of you, I already wanted to part from him but you came into our lives so I endured it some more to stay with you… and it was worth it.” one of his hands shifts position behind him and taps the covers to signal for you to hold it. Your fingers interlace and he looks at you over his shoulder, slowly turning around, his body twisting slightly as he leans back again and kisses you sweetly yet still with some need.

Your breath is now steady, you're relaxed and it feels like Heaven, just like he promised.

"Pizza?"

You giggle and he follows.

“I love you y/n. I love you.”

[sv5hive]

too little, too late. | lh44

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader

content warning(s): angst, swearing, lewis is a bit of a dick in this sorry, unhappy ending because i love being miserable 🫶🏻

word count: 1,763

note: thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs on my first work a few days ago!! i didn't expect all the love so it is very, very appreciated :) this is a bit long so get comfy! and i also listened to you're losing me by taylor swift while writing so... yeah.

(psst! part 2 is here!)

(masterlist!)

memories from the night you two met flashed through your mind as you stood alone in the dim kitchen. the hangover from the next morning meant most of the night was a blur of shots, flashing lights and sweaty bodies but those deep brown eyes and endearing smile remained sharply in focus.

you stared at the two cold plates of dinner abandoned on the table and a bottle of wine nearing the end.

where had it all gone wrong?

six years.

six years of supporting him through everything.

and you loved being with lewis no matter what. seeing him in his element while racing was just as exciting for you as it was for him. but when would it end? you couldn't keep your life on pause forever.

back in 2017 when you first started dating you discussed a life of peace. a life with a big family and a nice house in england where your children could grow up normally like the both of you did. and you weren't foolish. you would never truly have peace when you were in a relationship with lewis hamilton, the face of formula 1. but you were willing to give up any sense of normality if it meant you could be with the love of your life.

or so you thought.

years passed as you watched all your friends get engaged and married, settle down and start their own families. at every bachelorette party, wedding reception, baby shower, family event you would be asked the same questions.

"when is he going to pop the question? you two have to get married! i bet he's planning to do it soon."

and every time you would have the same response.

"oh we're just taking it slow. he's pretty busy with racing and we both agreed that it wouldn't be fair for him to be away so much."

and you really did believe that at first.

either you didn't notice the stares of pity or you ignored them to convince yourself that everything was ok. it was only when you brought up the idea of finally having kids that you started doubting yourself.

"hey, lew. i've been thinking."

"hmm, yeah? what about." he replied absentmindedly, still searching netflix for a good movie to watch.

you passed him the bowl of popcorn to hold while you got under the blanket.

"i was thinking that we're finally ready to start a family."

he stilled. that was the last thing he thought you would bring up.

"lewis?"

"i want a family too, you know that. but i can't retire without getting that eighth championship. we're almost there. besides, i don't wanna leave you at home with a kid and not be there for every step of the way."

both of you knew at the rate mercedes was going, lewis would need a miracle and a half to win another title against red bull and their rocket ship.

he avoided your eyes and clearly thought that was the end of the matter so you accepted that when he was ready he would tell you. right?

you tossed and turned that night, unable to get the way he brushed off the topic so coldly out of your head. did you imagine it? that flicker of hesitance on his face? a pit of uneasiness settled at the bottom of your stomach as you desperately tried to reason with yourself. no. everything is fine. you had already waited a few years. what was a couple more?

so you tucked away your dreams of a family into the back of your mind for the time being and just enjoyed your relationship with lewis. every date felt like the first and you never wanted your love to end.

"lewis...this is too much!" as you stared in awe at the lone table in the middle of a completely empty restaurant.

rose petals led you two all the way from the entrance to a table with a single rose stood in a vase in the centre as candles flickered softly.

"for you? never."

staring at him in the golden light, you couldn't help but blush at his romantic gesture. he was making up for being away during a triple header and you hated to admit it but you could get used to this.

racing. you smiled at the thought of seeing lewis race. it was like seeing an artist produce a masterpiece every time pencil hit paper. he truly was an incredible sight to see.

you were there for each of his championships since 2017. you witnessed the joy of 2020 and the heartbreak of 2021. you were there, celebrating each win with him and consoling him after each loss, every time. you had fallen in love with the sport you once had no knowledge of just as hard as you had fallen for lewis. you knew how much of a toll each season took on him and you were always going to be there to pick him back up. his world became yours as you met his team and soon enough you were a familiar sight in the mercedes garage.

wasn't seven world championships enough for him?

you would never ask him to give up his career for you. and he would never ask that of you. but after years of waiting for the next step you couldn't help but wonder whether he still wanted that with you.

he was more than an hour late now. both of your schedules had been almost completely full for the past few months and you thought it would be nice to catch up over homemade dinner.

apparently he didn't think the same.

you hadn't bothered calling or texting. he always turned his phone off while at work anyways. as you finished off the last mouthful of wine the jingle of keys and the door unlocking brought you back out of your thoughts.

heavy footsteps trudged through the hallway.

"hey baby, i didn't think you would be up- what's all this?"

"dinner. i've been waiting for two hours now." you turned away from the counter to face him.

"shit. i am so sorry. i just got so caught up at work. we've been trying to improve the car to-"

"-to beat red bull. i know. i know."

"i promise i'll make it up to you. what about dinner next week? at that chinese restaurant you really like?" he walked towards you and went to wrap his arms around you before you pushed him away.

"stop, lewis. just stop. i can't keep doing this." you couldn't look him in the eyes.

a pin drop could be heard as lewis' blood ran cold.

"what?"

the change in atmosphere almost made you wish you had never said anything. almost.

"i can't keep waiting on you, lewis. i'm sorry."

"i said i would make it up to you." the look of pure confusion on his face would be amusing if it weren't for the fact that you were on the verge of tears.

"it's not just about dinner, lewis."

"then what is it about?"

"everything. god, we've been together for eight years and we're not even engaged and nowhere near starting a family. we have nothing to show for it. i knew i would have to wait and i was fine with that but i just can't anymore. this isn't what i imagined for us."

"so what? you're just going to leave? you know how i feel about having kids."

"and i get that, i do. but are you even planning on retiring in the near future? we're not getting any younger and i've been ready for a while now. i just don't think our ideas of our future are the same anymore."

"am i just meant to drop everything for you then? give it all up?"

"fuck, of course not, lewis. i would never ask you to do that. never. but sometimes it feels like you choose your career over me. and i know what it takes to be in formula 1 to win, i know you need to give it your full focus. i just, i need you to choose me for once. choose us."

"no, you don't know what it takes because if you did, you wouldn't be doing this to me right now. in the middle of the season."

you blinked. once. twice. you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"are you fucking kidding me, lewis? i'm ending our six year relationship and you're thinking of how it's going to effect your season?"

"yes! fuck, this is my whole life. it always has been and it always will be."

there it is. confirmation from the man himself. you stumbled on your words trying to convey your anger as your blood continuously boiled at his miserable attempt to fix his mess.

"have you ever even thought about how i've felt all these years? giving every excuse in the book to our families and friends about why we haven't taken the next step in our relationship and defending you when they said i was too good for you? you may get to avoid them by going to the races but i don't have that privilege."

your throat was dry at this point as you gasped for air and still, he was stood almost unbothered at the fact you were hopelessly clinging onto the last remaining threads of your relationship, willing him to fight back.

"so that's it? you're not going to stop me?"

tears pooled at your eyes as you realised this was really happening.

"well clearly you've thought this out pretty well."

you didn't know whether to laugh, cry or throw the empty bottle of wine at his head.

"you are fucking unbelievable, lewis. i thought this meant something to you but clearly not."

you stormed towards the door and opened it. you paused while silently hoping he would beg you to stay. hoping he would risk everything for you.

but it never came.

you wiped away your tears and tried to at least sound somewhat assertive despite your voice wavering.

"let me know when you're not at home and i'll come get my things."

you slammed the door shut with a resounding bang and walked away from the place and person you had called home for so long.

he sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. as he moved to get a beer out of the fridge his gaze fell on the calendar stuck to the front. there was a red heart around today's date with "anniversary!" written in your handwriting.

fuck.

note: yikes. i hope you aren't too sad because of me. any feedback is appreciated!! let me know what else you wanna see :)

[cakelitter]

Sugar Rush Sugar daddy! Leon x fem! reader

warnings: NSFW, sugardaddy! Leon, fem! reader, oral (f receiving), praise kink, age gap

summary: broke reader looks for a sugar daddy which happens to be Leon S. Kennedy

words: 4.1k

“A week? How am I expected to find the money for rent by then?”

“I’ve given you 2 months to figure that out. This is the last straw, if rent is not paid by then, I’m afraid I’ll have to kick you out.”

“But I don’t even have a job I-”

The asshole hung up. Yet another door slamming right in your face. You throw your phone down on your couch as you sit next to it and contemplate what to do next. You can’t find enough money to pay in the span of a week, that’s impossible. You’ve been eating instant ramen for almost 3 weeks straight to cut down on costs, you’re starting to forget what real food tastes like.

You sigh and think about how you ended up in this situation in the first place, once being a hopeful college student who just graduated, full of energy, life, and so much optimist it’s nauseating. Found a new apartment in the capital and moved in a week later to find a job with nothing other than 3 cents to your name and a dream. You anticipated that finding a job with your degree won’t be such a difficult task, sure, your GPA wasn’t the best, but surely it won’t be that hard to secure a job.

If only you knew how naïve you were.

You’ve spent the past 4 months looking for a job left and right. Are people seriously not hiring these days? Either that or someone is praying on your downfall, or perhaps both. You’re way past the state of rock bottom at this point, if you looked through a dictionary for the word “fucked” a picture of your face would be there instead, smiling proudly with a medal around your neck. Your fingers claw at your life-long dreams as they try to slip away from your grasp.

Picking the skin off your lips, you start thinking about how you might have to move back to your home town, live with your parents again while they give you the ‘I told you so’ look, have to deal with people’s comments on why you came back and then have explain like a low life loser why. You start racking your brain for ways to find money, you need cash, and you need it fast.

How about you start selling drugs? Nah, you’d never survive in a field like that. Become a stripper perhaps? You’d fall off that pole and break your neck before you would’ve made a single penny. Your brain is filtering through the possible options you have at hand so quickly, your positive that smoke is coming out your ears at this rate. And that’s when you get it, the answer you were looking for.

A sugar daddy.

Bingo. The picture in your head features a white light with the silhouette of a smoking hot man in a suit leaning on a Porshe in the distance as dollar bills fall like flower petals angelically behind him. You do find older men a little hot, not that you tried dating any, but you’re not opposed to the idea of doing so. You’re no stranger to developing crushes on some older celebrities and video game characters, so this shouldn’t be any different…right? Look, you didn’t want it to reach this point, but desperate times call for desperate measures and in a week from now, you’re going to be homeless if you don’t start searching for someone’s dad to date right now. And apparently that’s all it took to convince you, as you find yourself downloading the app already.

Once the download is complete you open it, and you’re starting setting up your account. You pick the nicest picture you have of yourself, and it doesn’t take long before your account is good to go. Your eyes scan the matches that pop up on the screen, seeing the different faces in front of you that could be your new ticket of getting out of the predicament you’re in. And as you look, you read some of the disgusting bios that these men have, and soon enough a wave of self-awareness comes crashing down on you making you feel utterly disgusted with yourself. Are you seriously willing to go on dates with these dirty old men whose intentions are most definitely filthy, and for what? A hundred or two? You’re better than that, you’re an inspiring young woman with so mu-

Ding!

The device in your hand vibrates, grabbing your attention as you get sent a message request from someone on the app.  You open the message, the username is L.S.Kennedy and his message says

“Are all girls usually this pretty? Or is it just you?”.

You stare at the message in front of you for a good minute, that might’ve been the cheesiest thing you’ve ever read since middle school. The account that sent it doesn’t have a profile picture and the bio just mentions his age. He is in his early forties, and aside from that you know nothing about the man. Your survival instincts start kicking in telling you that it’s a bad idea, talking to strangers especially men, online is how most people end up murdered only for their bodies to be found in a ditch. In addition, this man is cringy as fuck, there is no way he thought that would actually work. Those fifty dollars are not worth the years these jokes of his are going to take off your life span. No way, won’t work, you’d rather be homeless.

Ding!

“Sorry if I came on too strong, I want to get to know you. How about 500$ for a first date? I’m willing to go higher.”

Your eyes go wide as you reread the number on your screen over, and over again. 500$. One date.

You love cringy and sappy shit, always had. They are in fact your favorite, love you a man with some cheesy pick-up lines. Call it love, call it fate, but this L.S.Kennedy guy is actually starting to grow on you.

“Hi! No not at all, I’d like to know you as well.”

Okay, that’s a lie. Being a slut and a liar is too much. You couldn’t care less about getting to know him, but alas rent won’t pay itself. The two of you then start talking for around an hour or two, he seems like a really nice guy. His name is apparently Leon and actually lives not too far away. His jokes are well… interesting. Epitome of dad jokes but again the man is the same age as your dad so that’s no surprise. On the bright side, he’s respectful and shockingly hasn’t said anything sexual or made you feel uncomfortable, so that’s a good start. Maybe this whole idea isn’t so bad after all.

The date was set for tomorrow at 7pm. He offered to pick you up but you refused. Listen, you’re dumb enough to go on a date with a man you knew for less than two hours for some quick cash, but not dumb enough to send him your address. The date will be at a nearby restaurant, one of the fanciest restaurants in Washington DC. You even heard that some celebrities and governmental officials actually go there.

Truth be told, you’re starting to get excited, this is by far the nicest thing a man has ever done to you. Albeit, the voice at the back of your head keeps reminding you that he could be dangerous, a stalker, a criminal, or worse, likes banana flavored stuff. A man with this much money is either in a higher up position, or simply working with the wrong people. Now that you think about it, perhaps asking him what he does for a living would’ve been a wise choice. But you didn’t want to sound like you were going after his money! Well, you are but at the end of the day, you still have manners.

The next day eventually rolls around and you start getting ready. You pick the best dress you have that hugs your body perfectly. Wanted to go for something which screams classy and elegant yet still hot. Just because you’re in debt, doesn’t mean you need to look like it as well.

Your friend agrees to drops you off at the location, she knows you’re going on a date with some guy you met on a dating app. She was almost as excited as you were when you found out where this “gentleman” was treating you. Little does she know this said “gentleman” is twice your age… let’s just hope you’re not going out on a date with someone’s husband.

Walking into the restaurant, you shoot him a text informing him that you arrived. Your phone vibrates a couple seconds later with a text that says.

“Waiting for you on the table near the second window.”

You start making your way to the table, and when you eventually find it, you’re greeted by the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your entire life standing near the table. He smiles softly and compliments you, you brain still didn’t register what he said though, as you’re still in awe with how good he looks.

Light brown hair, stormy blue eyes, a slight stubble decorating his chin and crow’s feet forming on the corner of his eyes as he smiles. His body, is in such a good form. Broad shoulders and massive biceps making the white button up shirt that he’s wearing tight in some areas. The chest, oh the chest, surprised how he’s not wearing a bra with those pillows glued to his chest, enough milk supply to feed a whole village.

The hidden cameras better come out now cause you’re definitely getting set up. This man is paying you to go out with him, while you’d pay a kidney and sell your friend for him to even step near you. He definitely has the sugar and daddy part checked off. You spent all this time searching for a job with no success, and you bag him first try? Maybe you should consider switching domains.

The two of you sit down at your table. The view from the window next to you is breath taking, the sun is setting and as she does, the rays reflect on the glass windows of the building below you creating a masterpiece of orange and red hues. The breeze up here is so refreshing, as the faint sound of by-passing cars honk below you. Your eyes move back to the man in front of you.

“This place is nice.”

“Glad you like it sweetheart.”

You’re already fighting the urge to sit on his lap and all he did was call you a stupid pet name. If you were a dog, your tail would definitely be wagging right now. The waiter eventually walks over to your table and you both place your meals before he walks away leaving the two of you alone once more.

“Can I ask you a question?” you say and he raises an eyebrow in return followed by a polite smile.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Why do you not have your name or your face on your profile?”

Understandable question, he’s hot as fuck and would have woman fighting over him on that app if he showed his face. He chuckles at your question, the kind of laugh that sounds like a yacht and a mansion in the Maldives.

“Well, my field of work requires me to keep a low profile, not that I’m complaining anyway. Plus I don’t think my face is really important in these kinds of dates anyways. I know that probably looked really suspicious but I can assure you, I’m not trying to kill you.” He says the last part as he raises his hands defensively.

You nod gently in return. While that did answer some of the questions you had, you were still intrigued to learn more about him. What field does he work in anyway? How can he afford all this? Curiosity was getting the best of you, and so you ask.

“What do you do for a living?”

He grins, and looks at you for a few moments before answering.

“Hmm I get it. Nothing illegal, so that pretty head of yours can stop worrying.” You’re honestly a bit embarrassed now, it’s a date not an interview. But you needed to make sure that you’re safe okay! Better safe than sorry.

He then starts asking questions about your interests, past, favorite movies, etc. And soon enough your food arrives, you continue chatting as you take some bites out of your dish. He’s genuinely interesting, and very attentive. You notice how he watches your expression, body language, and the tone of your voice. Throughout the conversation you learn a bit more about him as well, learned how he went to police academy, hated wearing ties, and thinks that reading books is boring. Last one is a bit problematic, but sure.

Time passes and maybe it’s your brain playing tricks on you, or maybe it’s the wine you keep on sipping, but he seems to get flirtier by the minute. You notice the way his eyes drop down to your lips shamelessly as you speak, and how they linger for a little too long on your chest. You’re not completely innocent however, you are guilty of tilting your head to the side every now and then, batting your pretty mascara covered lashes at him causing a smirk to rise on his face. You manage to get away with it a couple of times before he decides to comment about it.

“Need something sweetheart? I’d like to hear some of those thoughts of yours.”

“I think you’re hot.” That was bold, but he asked for it. Your words don’t even take him by surprise, he knew what you were thinking about, its written all over your face but he just needed you to say it out loud.

“Feelings mutual. How about we get out of here yeah?”

He orders the bill which he pays while leaving a generous tip. The two of you get up, head out the restaurant’s door, and walk over to his car. He opens the door for you in true gentleman fashion and gets in himself. The car smells clean, almost like its brand new. The inside is plain with not much decoration but pretty neat. The windows are tinted blocking out anyone from spying in. He twists the car keys and the engine roars to life and soon enough you start heading towards his place.

Sometime during the ride home, his hand rests on the inside of your thigh and starts slowly moving up to your center before stopping. You bite your lip as heat starts pooling between your legs. His hand then begins caressing your thigh, running his thumb up and down, so close yet so far from where you actually want him to be. The whole time his eyes are fixated on the road ahead of him, simply toying with you for his own fun. Things remain the same for a while before his hands snake up our dress even further, thumb making contact with your cunt. His strokes are lazy and weak, almost as if his fingers are ghosting over your bundle of nerves.  Your hips squirm at the sensation and you attempt to move your hips closer to his hand to get more friction. But as you do that moves his hand away from you and repositions itself back on your thigh causing you to whine in protest.

“Almost there baby, can you wait a few minutes more for me? Promise I will make it worth it.”

He looks over to you and you nod a little too enthusiastically. His lips upturn into a smile at your eagerness.

“Such a good girl.” He says, his knuckle brushing against your cheek.

The car then parks at an apartment building, the type that is 16 stories high and the oxygen alone, feels more high quality. He gets out of the car and opens the door for you, before taking your hand in his and making his way to the entrance. The sound of your heels clacking on the tile floor of the reception as you follow his lead to the double doored elevator. You both walk in and he presses the button to the last floor which is followed by the elevator doors closing.

As soon as the two of you are alone in the space, his hand grabs your wrist pinning you onto one of the walls as his other hand grabs your hip before crashing his lips onto yours. You kiss him back, your free hand touching the exposed part of his neck before going up into his hair. He groans at the sensation and grinds his hips into yours, feeling his hardened cock through his pants causing you back to arch. His tongues coax its way into your mouth and you reciprocate. Both of your lips disconnect for a moment as he decides to move to your neck next, sucking and biting on the open skin leaving red and purple marks to blossom in the places where his mouth once was. A soft whine escapes you at the feeling of his hot mouth on the sensitive skin of the crook of your neck.

The elevator dings announcing your arrival, which is followed by the door opening revealing the stupendous penthouse in front of you. The windows are ceiling high and have a wondrous view of the capital, the apartment is dimly lit with only a few lamps illuminating the black and gray living room furniture. The house that you see getting sold for millions of dollars.

“I’ll give you a tour later.”

He says as he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, giving your now exposed behind a smack, and your legs kick in return. He makes his way up the stairs and into what you can only assume is his bedroom before tossing you down on your back and caging you in with his arms. Your hands reach out locking behind his neck pulling him into another kiss, as his hand reaches out for your breast, fondling it through the fabric of your dress.

The stickiness between your legs is starting to get uncomfortable as the sensations of pleasure start taking over you. His hips which are now situated between your legs start rutting against you and open your legs further in return. You feel a hand unzip your dress as you shift slightly allowing him to take the article of clothing off which is then followed by your bra. As soon as your top naked, he wastes no times latching his mouth to one of your stiff peaks, while the other hand flicks the other. He switches between sucking on your nipple and leaving some bite marks of the delicate flesh.

Moments later the removes his mouth with a resounding pop, and starts kissing his way down from the valley between your breasts till the waistband of your panties. He gets off of you for a moment to unbutton his shirt and unbuckle his belt removing it and tossing it somewhere behind him, his pants following a second later. Your eyes travel over his body, unsure where to look at first. Chiseled chest muscles with some trimmed chest hair, defined abs and an unremarkable V line leading to his covered crotch area with few scars scattered all over his body like stars.

“Staring is rude y’know. But you’re cute so I’ll let it pass.” He jokes and moves positioning himself between your legs, he gives your clothed cunt an open-mouthed kiss, his hot breath making you squirm at the feeling.

“Been wanting to taste you all night.”

His fingers grab the hem of your panties pulling them off, revealing your glistening core to him. You feel the familiar sensation of his thumb on your clit once again moving in firm circular motions as his eyes remain glued to your center. The same thumb then moves down to your entrance collecting some of your dripping arousal before going back to its original position.

“Damn baby, all of that for me?”

You nod, your eyes feeling heavy and brain fuzzy from his skilled fingers.

“What you get your clit rubbed a few times and now you can no longer speak? Use your words, I know you can.”

“Yeah, for you. All for you.”

“Atta girl”

He speaks before replacing his thumb with his mouth, your head falls back against the plush mattress as a moan escapes your lips. His hands grab your hips keeping them in place as he eats you like a man starved. He shifts between sucking on your bundle of nerves and dipping his tongue into your entrance, as the prickly feeling of his stubble somehow makes the whole experience much hotter.

Your completely fucked out at this point and he hasn’t even fucked you yet. This is probably the best head you’ve ever gotten in your life. Maybe going after older men was the right call after all. Your hand reaches out and grips his soft hair tugging on it, earning a groan from him which vibrates through you, only intensifying the feeling bubbling inside of you. The view in front of you is now practically burn in the back of your mind till the day you die. The knot in your stomach only seems to get tighter and tighter as his tongue laps over your cunt over and over again.

“Gonna cum.”

“On my face baby, show me how good it feels.”

He opts to focusing on sucking on your clit as two of his fingers penetrate you, and begin to move at the perfect pace and that was enough to send you over the edge. Stars explode behind your eyes as your whole-body shakes. The feeling of his tongue on you that was once causing you pleasure, has now turned into the uncomfortable feeling of overstimulation. You whimper and tug on his hair once again. His face detaches from your core, chin shiny and coated with your arousal as he sucks off the remaining fluid on his fingers and he moves back up removing his underwear. His dick springs free, tip red leaky with precum as he strokes it a few times. Dropping down to your level, he gives your lips a soft kiss while he teases your entrance with his dick for a few moments before he bullies it into you with ease thanks to how wet you’ve gotten. He sucks in a breath of air as your heat envelops him. The tip almost kisses the opening of your cervix as pain and pleasure start to become undifferentiable. You feel full, the fullest you’ve ever been.

“Fuck, tightest fucking pussy I’ve ever had”

Both of you are now face to face with each other, as he gives your furrowed brow a quick peck. His hips then start to move back before going in once more. He grabs your hip with both of his hands as he starts picking up the pace. The look on your face says it all, completely and utterly cock drunk. Eyes droopy, mouth drooling, and babbling pure none sense.

“You still with me sweetheart?” he chuckles as he continues his rocking motion.

“Feels good.”

“And what do you say?”

“Thank you Leon, thank you so much.”

In return, his pace quickens. The sounds of skin smacking and both of your moans fill the quiet room. You don’t know where that came from, never in your life you ever said something like this. This man puts his dick in you once and he’s already rearranging all of your brain chemistry… and your organs. You’re already starting to feel your orgasm creeping up on you once more as your moans only seem to get louder. The pace that Leon is fucking you in, in addition to the praises that are spilling out of his mouth in tandem force another orgasm out of you as you claw at his forearms in attempts to stay grounded.

The spasming sensation of your heat around him causes him to moan as his peak approaches. He pulls out of you, gives himself a few strokes before finishing all over your stomach and collapsing next to you. After his breathing regulates again, gets up, grabs a towel and cleans the mess he made before tucking you in and placing a kiss at the crown of your head.

“Leon” your voice softly calls out to him.

“Yeah?”

“Are all middle-aged men usually this pretty, or is it just you?”

banner by:@anitalenia

[aoi1dee]

OLNF Week Day 6: Different Seasons

@olnfweek2024 a short fic is below...

It’s April 8th, 2018 and Alex is graduating in a month. Alexander Morello, Qiu Lin, and Tamarack Baumann are graduating high school in a month. It’s unbelievable. It feels like yesterday when Alex had just moved into Golden Grove to begin his first day of 5th grade with his two new friends. But now here they are chilling in Tamarack's backyard watching petals fall down from the trees leaving green leaves for summer. It wasn’t too hot, it wasn’t too cold, it’s Spring. The flowers will start blooming all over town bringing life and color to the once cold and dead winter. Spring is Alex’s second favorite season, his first being Autumn. Both of those seasons were so pretty, even if they were pretty in the opposite ways. 

“Alex?” Tamarack stands in front of him, “Are you spacing out again?” She smiles gently. When they first met, Tam was the most outgoing and all over the place girl he’d ever met. She was super overwhelming to him at first but she became such a comfort person to him when she stood up for him during roll call on their first day. He had always leaned on her when he needed comfort. She’s not as crazy as she was before though. When she got older, she started hiding herself more from people. Tam had become more insecure of herself because some kids at school believed that Tamarack needed to be. But Tamarack was the most beautiful girl he’d ever met… he couldn’t believe that she thought of herself like that. What’s funny is that Tamarack thought the same about Alex. But now, Tamarack has started to appreciate herself. Even though she isn’t sure what she wants to do, she still goes on with life. Alexander adores Tamarack so much, he loves her.

“Yeah, it's just very pretty out.” He smiles back at her.

“You’d always had a thing for pretty stuff huh?” Qiu teases. Yeah, they know that Alex thinks that Qiu is the prettiest person he has ever met. That’s what he believed when he first met them looking down at him in their hideout. He even accidentally blurted out that he thought they were pretty then. Qiu was always the sunshine in Alex’s life, even when they weren’t shining so bright themself. Qiu said they were friends not even a whole day after meeting for the first time and even they stood up for him during roll call as well. They were so important to him. Alex is just so grateful that he moved in next to Qiu, he couldn’t imagine a life without them. Even when they cut themself off from everyone during middle school, that didn’t matter. Alex loves them, he always had. 

“Yeah” Alex nudges Qiu in the arm. They laugh back at him. The three of them had grown together in this small cul-de-sac. And even if Qiu and Tam don’t get along much, they’ve always been there for each other. He should honestly thank his Ma for moving to Golden Grove because his life just got so much better after moving here. He wouldn’t want anything else. 

But now Alex is going off to film school three hours away in August. Sure he’s so happy to be following his dreams of going into the film industry but shit… he’s going to miss everything. But he shouldn’t worry about such things right now. Maybe in a couple of months but… not right now. 

The only thing he should be focused on is watching petals fall down from the trees leaving green leaves for summer in Tamarack backyard with the loves of his life. Even if he is going to be three hours away for college, the only thing on his mind is what’s going to happen after college. Maybe the three of them can get an apartment together? Live the domestic life. Maybe the three of them will be dating by then (well Tam and Qiu won't be dating each other that's for sure). Maybe they can get married. Hopefully being able to marry more than 1 person will be legal soon. He really hopes. 

The wind blows through all three of them, Qiu and Tamarack look at Alex. He looks at them. They look at each other.

(super short this time but everything that was needed to be said was said in this :D)

[justwinginglife]

Can I Come Home?

1- I am so sorry in advance. My random thoughts do be wildin sometimes. 2- There are 2 endings for this, you'll know where it splits when you get there, a little choose your own adventure action, if you will. 3-This is the longest fic that I have ever written so I apologize for people with short attention spans like me. With all that being said, enjoy the fic (or don't, it's angst, so you probably won't.)

You and Soshiro were always close. 

Close in childhood, closer as sweethearts.

You’d known each other your whole lives, and your sweet 16 turned even sweeter when he finally worked up the nerve to ask you out. You had always had a crush on him, but you never thought that the boy who had seen you in a bikini and snorted about your flat chest would ever be interested in you. But he was more than just interested; he was completely, irreversibly, and incandescently smitten with you. 

When you started dating him, it became clear to you that he’d stored away every bit of information you’d ever told him. He remembered when you were 12, you said you’d always wanted a locket, so he strung one around a bouquet of peonies (he knew that was your favorite flower) and presented it to you when he picked you up for your first date. He remembered when you were 13, you told him you’d always wanted to ride on a hot air balloon, so for your second date, he took you out for a romantic flight at sunset, flower petals sprinkled across the floor of the basket. He remembered when you were 14, you absentmindedly made a comment about wishing you knew how to ice skate, so he learned how to skate for you and taught you how to skate on your third date. There was no doubt in your mind that you were going to marry this man someday. You weren’t sure how long it would take, but you didn’t care; you could wait for him. 

When you turned 18, he solidified his love for you by gifting you a promise ring. By this time, you’d already talked marriage and cradles with him extensively, so you wondered what exactly he was promising you. Your heart was already his, you didn’t need a trinket to hold you over. But he wanted to make promises to you anyway. He wanted to promise you that he’d buy you a better ring one day, that when he joined the JAKDF he’d save his entire officer’s salary for the purpose of weighing your hand down with the fattest rock he could find. He wanted to promise you that he’d love you infinitely, that he’d love you overwhelmingly, that he’d love you every day of his life. And even when he turned 19 and prepared for the Defense Force exam, he promised that he’d carry you with him always, that your soul had left an imprint on his, and that even when faced with death, he’d be yours. The Reaper himself couldn’t tear him from your side. 

Having fears about the lifestyle Soshiro was choosing, the lifestyle that would take him far away from you, that would lead him in the way of danger, you begged him to wait another year or two before joining the Defense Force. You knew you couldn’t keep him from his dreams forever, but you could stall him. You wanted more time with him, wanted any time you could get, any time he’d allow you, any time he’d spend safe in your arms, time where you didn’t have to be riddled with the worry that one day he wouldn’t come home. 

So you pleaded with him to wait a couple years. To spend the time training you. You’d made the decision to go with him to join the force -you’d follow him to the depths of Tartarus and back if it meant you could stay by his side- but for now, you needed more time with him. And then you’d give in to his dreams when you turned 21. You’d let the Defense Force claim you both. And if he died, you’d be right behind him. So you begged him, begged him to stay. Just until 21. 

You thought he might say no, thought he might run off and join anyway. After all, he’d been waiting for this since the day he took up the sword. But the Defense Force wasn’t his only dream anymore. You were his dream too. And if he had to wait a couple more years just to have you by his side when he joined up, then he would wait for you. He would do anything for you.

You spent long days and even longer nights training with him. Training until your limbs were on the verge of combustion, until your muscles reacted before you commanded them to, until your reflexes were honed to perfection. Your regimen was grueling but it was nothing compared to the thought of letting him die in front of you. You had to be stronger; no, you had to be the strongest. For him, you’d do it. And when you perfected a move or when your combat power increased, Soshiro would reward you with kisses over and over again, and you knew you’d die for him over and over again. Anything to protect his smile.  

When the cruel hand of fate brought disaster to his door in the form of a crippling accident and Soshiro was grounded to his hometown, imprisoned in a cage, with his lifelong dream now out of reach, you felt you failed him. You couldn’t protect him from his fate. You couldn’t protect him from the emptiness, from the feeling of watching his desires slip from his fingers. It was your fault that he never got to join the Defense Force- you’d made him wait. It was your fault. Everything was your fault. 

You almost couldn’t face him.

You watched lines of friends, of family, of neighbors file in and out of his house, offering their sympathies, offering their support in this hard time, offering gifts, offering flowers. But you knew he’d never “get well.” He’d never recover from what you’d done. From what you failed to do. He’d wasted so many promises on you, and you couldn’t even promise to protect him. 

You wanted to atone.

You wanted to die.

You wanted to fade from existence.

But he wouldn’t let you. He kept visiting, kept calling on you, kept loving on you. He wouldn’t let his regrets become your regrets. He wouldn’t let you waste your life away, drowning in your bedsheets and your depression. He’d make you hear him even if you wouldn’t listen. He’d tell you that you were meant for more. That you had bigger things to live for than him. That he couldn’t wait to watch you take the Defense Force by storm.

He’d joke that he was sure you’d coerce your way to the top in no time at all, reigning over the JAKDF with terror. When you were unamused, he laughed. “I was just kidding, love, I know my baby’s a softie. I know you wouldn’t hurt a fly. A kaiju? Different story. But a fly? You’d put a bandaid on its wings.” He teased. 

And against your better judgment, despite his terrible jokes, despite his annoying persistence, because of his annoying persistence, you let him love you again. You let him forgive you. You missed him. You loved him. You loved loving him. 

You thought you could keep going on this way forever. Just basking in his presence. Just stealing time from him wherever you could get it. Now that you weren’t training, now that he wasn’t training, you had endless hours to spend with him, just talking, just laughing. But then you got notice that this year’s Defense Force Exam was starting. 

He wanted you to go.

He wanted you to leave him.

You wanted to stay. 

You weren’t like him, you weren’t noble, you weren’t honest; the Defense Force meant nothing to you if he wasn’t by your side. You begged him to let you stay with him. You begged him to let you live and die with him. 

But he simply smiled at you and said he believed in you.

And somehow, after kicking and screaming, after crying and pleading, you found yourself on the first train out of town. You found yourself carrying the weight of both your dreams, carrying the weight of your need to make him proud, both a burden and a beacon, slung across your shoulders as you made your way into unknown territory. You took heavy step after heavy step until you crossed the threshold of the Defense Force’s doors. 

This was your life now but somehow you felt like you’d left your life back in your hometown. Like your heart only beat in Soshiro’s chest, like your air only contracted Soshiro’s lungs, like your blood only pumped in Soshiro’s veins. Without him, you felt lonely.

Distance had always been a stranger to you, having grown up next door to him, having spent every waking moment with him, and now that you were making its acquaintance, you thought you might just die. 

You’d reach for his arms and find they weren’t there. You’d listen for his laugh, for his footsteps, for his singing in the shower, and find nothing but sadness in the silence. And when the shirts you’d stolen from him stopped smelling of his scent, you almost ran back home right then and there, barefoot, crying, running like a madman, running to get back to him. “Can I come home now, Soshiro?” you’d beg him.

But he’d always stop you. He’d tell you that you were so close to achieving everything you’d worked so hard for. That you couldn’t quit now. That you were strong, that you were fearsome, that you could endure the storm. That he believed in you.

When you passed the exam, you pleaded with him again. “Can I come home now, Soshiro? Let me celebrate with you, at least.” But he knew if you came home now, if you didn’t establish roots in the Defense Force, if you didn’t have anything to go back to, you’d stay home forever. You’d never leave. And he didn’t want you to quit before you’d started. So he coaxed you into staying where you were, used that sweet voice of his to murmur sweet promises to you, to promise you nothing short of the sun and the moon when you finally did come home, if you could just make it a couple more months without him. 

Before you knew it, you were too busy to come home, even just for a day. You were too good at your job, too loaded up with work. Your heart was empty but your hands were full. 

The only free time you had, you spent talking to Soshiro. You’d steal minutes from your schedule, sneak away for a mere moment, just to talk to him, just to drink in the sound of his voice. You’d tell him about your day. About a dog you met on the walk to work. About the bitch who worked in operations. About a new drink you discovered that you thought he’d like. About all the lives you’d saved. And he was proud of you. Not just for being a hero, but for being alive. For putting one foot in front of the other. For doing your best. 

He tried his best to make you smile even if he couldn’t physically be there for you. If he was there, he would’ve poked two fingers into the edge of your lips and dragged them upwards, “See, this is how you smile. Can you smile for me, love?” And you’d weakly muster up some semblance of a smile, tears staining your cheeks, as you’d say back to him, “Yeah, baby. I can smile for you. I can do anything for you.”

Then, when you watched officer after officer die, when you scrubbed your hands raw to get the blood out, when you couldn’t smile anymore, you begged him again. “Soshiro… I’m tired. I miss you. Can I come home now? Please, can I come home now?”

“They need you, love. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay. You can do this, you’ll be okay.” 

You’d hear his words and cry yourself to sleep and the aching in your chest would take up permanent residence inside you. 

He must’ve known then that you needed more than just his words. He showed up the next day, peonies in hand. “Your favorite, baby.”

You bit your lip, trying to stifle the tears that were threatening to overflow. “You’re here. You’re actually here.”

He smiled at you. “Snuck in for you, baby. I’m not supposed to be here, it’s a secret, just between you and me.”

Suddenly the weight of the situation hit you, the baggage of everything you’d been carrying the last several months crashing into you like a wrecking ball. You’d never see your fellow officers again and you’d never see more of him than these few, stolen moments.  “Soshiro, I can’t do this anymore.” You began to cry. 

“Shh, shh. Don’t cry, love. I’ve got you. You’re okay. You can do this. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of loving. And I know my baby doesn’t give up. I know the wind and the waves would come if she called. You’re a force to be reckoned with, don’t forget that, love.”

“I don’t feel like a force to be reckoned with. I feel like a walking corpse, dead inside and yet not dead enough. Why am I here? Why am I living and breathing when so many of my loved ones are dead? Soshiro. Can I come home now?”

For a moment you thought he’d let you. You thought the pain in his eyes, the sympathy in his saddened smile, were signs enough that it was okay to give up, it was okay to go home. But you never got to hear his answer.

“Hey. Platoon Leader L/N. You okay? What are you doing all the way out here?” A girl with bright red hair bounded up to you. You thought her name was Nakanoshima? You had tried to keep everyone at an arm’s distance after all the rookies who’d joined up with you had died. 

You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and straightened your posture, “Just talking to my boyf-” You suddenly realized Soshiro had said that he’d snuck in and when you turned to him in a panic, scrambling to find an excuse, you discovered that he was nowhere to be found. “I mean my-myself. Talking to myself.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Okay…Well, the girls and I are heading out for some karaoke, would you care to join?”

You shook your head quickly. “No, thanks. I appreciate the offer, though.”

She searched your face for a moment. You almost thought you caught a glimpse of sympathy in her peachy eyes, but any trace of it faded when she finally shook her head. “Alright, well just know you can come anytime. See you around.” She waved and disappeared into the distance.

“You should’ve gone with her. I would’ve been fine.” Soshiro emerged from behind you. 

“I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone else but you.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Baby. I don’t want you to be lonely up here, all by yourself. Make some friends. Have some fun. Live your life.”

You shook your head insistently. “I don’t wanna make friends. I don’t wanna have fun. I wanna come home. I wanna be yours again.”

He smiled at you softly. “You’re always mine, love. And I’m always yours.”

“So let me come home.” 

He shook his head. “Can’t do that, dearest. But I’ll come visit you more, okay? I love you. Never forget that I love you. You’ll be fine, okay? I believe in you.” Then he disappeared without another word, leaving you empty yet again. 

But he kept his promise. You should’ve known he would, he always did. At first, he’d come to your bedside in the dead of night. He’d lay there with you and you’d talk together until the sun came up and he disappeared again. Then, he started to visit during the day. 

When he’d visit, he’d ask if you were taking care of yourself. If you were making friends. You’d tell him the same thing every time. But one day, Nakanoshima overheard you talking to him and when she came over to investigate, he nudged you towards her, whispering, “Make friends.”

You rolled your eyes at him but then grumbled to her that you’d like to join her the next time she went out. Her eyes lit up and by the time she finished excitedly rambling about how much fun you were going to have with her, Soshiro was gone again.

The next time he visited, you were in the middle of training. When you dropped anything and everything to run to him, you earned yourself some strange looks from the other officers, but you didn’t care. You were tired of pretending and tired of hiding. You wanted to be in love again. You wanted to be happy. And he made you happy, visiting you like this, with no more fear of being discovered, with public displays of his love. 

And it made you happy to make him happy. When you told him all about your movie night with Nakanoshima, and your lunch date with Ashiro, and your shopping spree with Okonogi, he was extremely happy. You were finally living your life. 

You thought you could find contentment like this, sharing time between your friends and your boyfriend, living the good life, fighting the good fight, but the dream ended in an instant when he visited in the middle of a battle strategy meeting. When you bolted out the door to greet him again, your friends began to worry about your state of mind. They’d whisper to each other about the man you’d run off to in the middle of training, in the middle of lunch, in the middle of dinner, in the middle of the night, and now in the middle of meetings. Wasn’t he the guy who got into that horrible accident? Wasn’t he the reason you’d almost forgone joining the Defense Force? Wasn’t he the man you almost married? This couldn’t be good for you, they’d tell each other. Clinging to a man from your past. Clinging to a future you used to dream of. 

They had finally decided to have an intervention for you, when suddenly calamity struck the town. Another wave of kaiju was attacking in full force. Their concerns about your love life would have to wait; the entire city was now a concern. 

You fought with renewed purpose, with a fire lit within you that they hadn’t seen since you’d first made Platoon Leader. You refused to let any more of your squad, of your team, of your friends die. 

In a frenzy, you cleared out half the Yoju, and made your way to the Honju, entrusting the rest of the lower ranked beasts to your friends. The battle was long and arduous, your muscles tense and taut, as you fought for your life and the lives of all those you cared for. 

You thought of Soshiro in the heat of the moment, wondering if he would’ve wrapped this whole thing up in a matter of minutes. But you weren’t him. You were just you. And for all your training, for all your combat experience, you found yourself weak when it counted. You found yourself struggling, your reflexes weakening, your state of mind crumbling, your body aching as you begged yourself to just be enough, to just protect somebody, to protect anybody, to be worth something.

So when you finally took down the Honju at great cost, your life hanging on by a mere thread, you were okay with that. You were resigned to death. You were grateful for death. You ran a finger over the promise ring that had long been worn out over the years as the light began to claim you. 

In your final moments, you dreamed of the beach. Soshiro laid beside you in the sand. Your physical body was squirming around someplace somewhere in some patch of gravel, but all you could feel now was the sand beneath your back, the ocean lapping at your toes. 

“I meant to take you to the beach.” He said finally.

“Well, we’re here now, silly. This is good enough. This is more than enough. This is perfect. Let’s just enjoy this moment.” You slipped your hand into his, interlocking your fingers as you turned to look into his eyes. 

He shook his head at you. “Baby. You know you can’t be here. You know you have to go back.”

You put a finger to his lips. “Shh. Baby, I’m finally home. Let me stay home.”

He brushed his thumb across your cheek. “I’m sorry, my love. I wish you could stay. But you have people waiting for you. You have people at your bedside, praying for you to wake up, praying for you to come back. You finally have a life, love, so live it.”

You frowned at him. “I don’t have a life without you, what are you talking about?” 

He smiled at you sympathetically. “Darling, you know that’s not true. You know I can’t see you anymore. We can’t keep doing this.”

Your eyes widened in fear. “No. No, don’t say that.”

He kissed your hand. “In fact, I don’t think I want to see you again for at least another 70 years, okay? Promise?” The tears burst from your eyes. “No, no, no. Soshiro, don’t leave me. Soshiro, don’t say that. Soshiro, let me come home, I want to come home to you. Let me be with you, damnit!”

“I love you. I’ll always love you.”

“Don’t say it like you’re leaving, don’t say it like you’re saying goodbye! Soshiro, don’t you dare leave me alone again! You promised you’d always be by my side!”

You woke up screaming.

You were in a hospital bed and Soshiro was nowhere to be found. 

“Soshiro.” You called weakly. “Soshiro. Please.” 

He didn’t answer. 

You tried listening for him, tried searching for him, tried scrambling for some semblance of him, some part of him you could cling to, but he was gone without a trace. The weight of his absence dragged you into the depths of despair, and you murmured, “You promised me… you promised…” to yourself as a dark and deep sleep finally overtook you.

In the morning, you were surrounded by your friends. 

Tae almost forgot you were injured and nearly smothered you with her affection. 

Konomi yanked her off of you, scolding her when you winced from the pain.

Mina was the one who finally spoke. “I’m glad you’re okay. We weren’t sure if you were going to make it for a moment there.”

You were quiet. “Why… why did I make it? How am I alive?”

They shifted uncomfortably. “Honestly, we’re not sure. The doctors said there was nothing they could do to save you. Your heartbeat flatlined. You were dead. And then somehow you came back to us.”

The room filled with silence. 

Then Tae spoke up. “Who’s this Soshiro you keep talking to?”

Konomi jabbed her in the ribs for her insensitivity, but she awaited your answer with equally bated breath. 

You swallowed. “He’s my… my boy… my fiance.”

Tae stilled. “Your fiance… Soshiro Hoshina?”

Your brows furrowed at the sound of his name on her lips. How did she know his name?

She continued. “The same Soshiro Hoshina who died in that horrific accident all those years ago?”

Suddenly your lungs felt like they were collapsing all over again. Your skin had been set ablaze by her words and yet you’d never felt colder in your entire life. You shivered from the sweat that had started to form all down your body.

“No, he’s… he’s waiting for me to come home.” You said weakly.

Konomi sighed and rubbed at the crease on her forehead. “Dear, I’m worried about you. He’s… he’s gone. He’s been gone.”

The tears began to flow down your cheeks before you even registered they’d formed. “No, he’s not. He’s at home. He’s fine. He’s at home. He’s waiting for me. I need to go home. I need to go to him. He’s fine, he’s just waiting for me at home. At home. At home.” Every broken denial, every repeated word, felt like a knife carving its way up your throat. You rambled so much your throat went hoarse and you started seizing up. The doctors were called in before your friends could continue. 

In the chaos of it all, you thought you vaguely heard Mina whisper to you, “Take as long as you need to heal. We’ll be here, waiting for you on the other side of this, no matter how long it takes,” before you blacked out.

You weren’t sure she understood just how long that would be. You weren’t sure just how long you could survive calling for him, trying to conjure him up in your mind again, and not seeing him appear. Remembering him hurt. Remembering the love you’d once had and lost, remembering the happiness you’d once had and lost, hurt. Everything hurt. But feeling like you were forgetting him hurt worse. 

Would you remember what his voice sounded like in 20 years? Would you even remember it in 10? Would you remember if he ever had dimples when he smiled? Would you remember his favorite color? 

Who were you if you weren’t his?

How would you ever find peace if you couldn’t ever go home?

If your home had been taken from you?

You woke up to the familiar sting of your tears burning trails down your cheeks again. You wondered just how many tears you had left, just how much could you cry yourself to sleep before you finally just drowned in your own depression? Would that be better if you drowned? Could you try to drown? Would it bring him back, would he try to save you again? If you tried to get back to that beach, would he be waiting? 

You tried furiously summoning him again. You knew he wouldn’t come when you called, knew he wouldn’t answer your pleas, knew you were talking to nothing more than air, but you tried over and over again, your screams filling the silence with your desperation.

“Soshiro! Soshiro, don’t leave me! Soshiro, I need you!”

“Come back, Soshiro! Come back to me!”

“Soshiro, you promised you’d stay by my side even in death! Even in death!”

“I need you, please, I need you!”

You screamed and screamed until your throat bled, until all that was left of him, all proof that he ever existed, that he ever loved you, was the burning in your throat and an emptiness in your chest where he’d stolen your heart and left you hollow. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------If you like angst, stop here, if you don’t and you’re like me and you cried reading this, please continue. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your friends waited for you.

They waited and they waited. They waited so long, you weren’t sure you’d even still have friends on the other side of this. You weren’t sure there was another side of this.

But when you could finally sleep without having nightmares about the damn accident, even just for an hour or two, when you could finally walk down the street without your eyes darting everywhere looking for him, when you could finally breathe again without feeling like you owed payment for each breath, that was when your friends were there at the ready, waiting to take you into better days.

And when you could finally laugh again, even just a small laugh, and when you could finally smile again, even just a small smile, you knew Soshiro was smiling with you too, somewhere on some beach. 

Sure there were times when you’d get swallowed up by sadness again, when you’d miss his touch, miss his voice, miss his presence. He was the love of your life and always would be. But you learned to love your friends too. You learned to love the blue in the sky and the green in the grass. You learned to love all the little things in life that he’d always loved.

Then, years and years later, you found that you were finally living the way he’d always wanted you to live: happily. 

And when your time finally came to face death -70 years into the future, as you’d promised Soshiro- you greeted it warmly.

At the gates of heaven, there he stood, handsome as always, light shining all around him as though he were light itself. 

And then he smiled. 

“Welcome home, love.”

[celestialprincesse]

𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧 𝐆𝐨 - 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

More Nik just 4 you🫵😚 Trying to make this reasonably slow burn but I just want them to fuck😔

Pts 1 & 2 here!

Nikto is shitting himself. In his enthusiasm to make amends with you, to spend time with you, he completely disregarded his greatest issue. He can't eat with his mask on. He can't very well show you his face when you look like the human embodiment of Tinkerbell, and he looks like - he doesn't really know what he looks like.

Whilst your neighbour is in crisis, you're perfectly happy to flit about your house, debating whether to wear your favourite pink miniskirt or a lacy white dress. The white would compliment the pretty satin kitten heels you're wedded on, and the virginal, snow coloured lingerie set you hope is finally seen by someone who's not you, or your mirror. Your hair is perfectly styled, lipgloss applied with meticulous precision. The outfit is the only spanner in your otherwise beautifully constructed works. You're so giddy that you feel sick.

Your neighbour shares a similar struggle in selecting his outfit, realising that he hasn't taken a woman on a date in a long time, and since then, his muscles have outgrown the sleeves of the suit in the back of his closet, and the pants to match are as moth eaten and neglected as his heart. Of course he wants to look as though he's making an effort - doesn't want to make you feel anymore unwanted by him than you already do, and yet most of his clothes make him look more monolith than man, no decent fit for a woman so soft and feminine as you.

You'd never have expected him to turn up on your doorstep with flowers. Peonies with fluffy pink petals, gently wrapped in a sheet of brown paper, tied up with blush lace. Kind of like you. He would never have dreamed of the way you fling your arms around his neck, tits straining against the thin alabaster fabric of your little dress. "You like them?" He rumbles thickly into your ear, flowers hanging at his side as he wraps his free arm loosely around your back, pushing the thoughts of how the plush skin of your ass would feel in his hands. "They're wonderful." You breathe, taking a sudden step back at the realisation that you've just entirely invaded his precious personal space.

"I need to tell you something." He murmurs, words coming thick from his throat, his confession trapped down in his chest, safe where no one can find it. "Of course, anything." The gentleness in your tone only makes him hesitate further. Why should he corrupt such a soft thing like you? Tie you down to a beast like him? "I am - I need to tell you something, and I understand if you do not want to spend time with me anymore. I am deformed."

Biting your tongue feels practically impossible. You so desperately want to reassure him. How do you tell him that you can see his laundry room window perfectly from your kitchen where you spend most of your time. How do you tell him that you've seen the scars he hides when he puts his mask in the washing machine.

"That's okay." You nod reassuringly. Why is there so much care in your eyes?

"You're sure? I am not handsome." You just want him to let you in. So desperately.

"I promise."

I'm so sorry for writing such short chapters but I need these two to get down and dirty rn💕

[littlepadika]

Good Man

warnings: no outbreak daddy Joel, ddlg, fem little 🙇‍♀️ , discussion of age play, meanie shamers, bad words

notes: based on an angsty dream i had. i needed daddy comfort 😭 idk if anyone reads daddy joel anymore but i hope you likie ❤️ 💕

"And he wanted me to call him daddy!" Your friend, Steph, shrieked causing everyone at the table to laugh. Everyone except for you who had been enjoying the story up until this point. Now you chewed your lip.

"I hate that, honestly." Your other friend, Olivia, said. "It's gross. Like... it's just gross."

You feel your face heat up. You try to think of something to say some retort.

"It's these older men who get off on it." Steph agreed. "It's like why can't they date women their own age. They're creeps"

"I don't know guys it's kind of hot." Elise, sitting to your right, leans forward and wiggles her eyebrows. You feel a bit of relief.

"Ew!" Steph laughed.

"I mean- like sexually. Not like all the time. That's too weird for me." And the relief was gone

"What do you think?" Elise turns to you.

You feel your face grow hot. Your brain already felt fuzzy from worrying about what to say. None of them knew about Joel. They knew you were with someone older but the nature of your relationship was totally private.

"I think- I think it's fine. If that's what people like and they consent to it."

"So diplomatic." Olivia snickered. "We know you like them older."

You know it was said in fun but you felt your eyes sting with frustrated tears. You honestly didn't know where all this emotion was coming from. But it was almost like a rejection of you, even if they didn't know. If you ever thought you could confide in them now you know you can't.

"I mean... they're kinda taking advantage of you. Like you have to wonder...like it's one step away from a ped-" Steph crossed her arms.

"Steph!" Elise glared at her.

"Bathroom." You stood up and bolted as fast as you could. You hated that you cried from frustration. Like the moment you need to speak up your tears get in the way. You text Joel to come pick you up.

You know they are talking about you when you get back because they immediately stop talking and plaster on cheery smiles.

"Hey! Should we get another round." You can tell Steph feels bad for her words.

"That's okay i'm going to head home."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah we got carried away-obviously you aren't- you know-"

"It's fine." You looked away "I was feeling off anyways."

Joel pulls up a few minutes later. You just want to run into his arms and cry but you know your friends are still watching you leave.

"Just drive." You mumble as soon as the door is shut.

"Have fun?" Joel asks, squeezing your leg with his free hand.

And you instantly burst into tears before you can get your seatbelt on.

"Oh dear." He pulls into a parking space at the back of the lot. "What-what?" He cups your face in his big hands. "Petal talk to me..." His big brown eyes search your face, seeing the softness in your eyes and pouty bottom lip. "Oh baby..." He helps you scoot over into his lap and you cry into his neck. In his mind he's trying to think of anything that may be causing this but he just lets you cry.

"D-daddy..." You cry.

"I'm here, petal. I gotcha." He strokes your head. Inhaling his scent and feeling his big strong arms made you even more mad at what your friends said. Joel was not a bad man. He was your daddy there was no other way to sum up what he meant to you. Safety, protection, acceptance, strength... When you quieted down he peels your face off him and wipes your tears.

"Can you talk to daddy? Hmm? Can you find that big girl voice?"

You try to speak but it just comes out like a whimper.

"Aw I know... you can do it. Let's take a deep breath all the way... yeah... let that big girl voice come back to you..." you have to take your big girl breaths a couple of time before you finally speak.

"Dey-dey said" You sniffle "daddies are bad men."

"Your friends?" Joe felt his heart sink.

"Mhm dey said you were a- a- creep. And I was gross. But you aren't daddy!" You grip his shirt fiercly "You aren't!"

"I'm sorry you had to hear that baby." His heart just aches in his chest. "Some people are too small minded to imagine anythin' different than what they have. They don't understand it, petal."

"But why?"

"It's just how they live their life. Don't know nothin' else." He knows the feeling all too well. How many times has he had to endure awkward conversations about his relationship with you. He got on daddy sites secretly and always felt wrong doing it. But something changed once he started establishing a real relationship with you. Pure love. And so much more than he thought.

"I didn't tell them daddy but i wanted to. I wanted to tell dem you were a good man."

"It's okay baby." Joel smiled.

"No, daddy!" You insisted, cupping his face and looking very serious. "You are a good man."

"Th-Thank you, petal." Joel felt himself tear up a little at your sincerity. Because some days it didn't feel like it. You only got a taste of the hate in the world you had no idea. And Joel was doing his damndest to keep it from you. "You're a good girl. Such a good girl..."

It was so easy at home to just let go and be what each other needed. But the rest of the world wasn't ready for it.

"I don wanna be secret." You confess in a small voice, tears coming back anew but this time they felt different. "I don't wanna be..." you search for the word but couldn't come up with it.

"I know... we'll find a place where we can be ourselves. I swear to you, baby." Joel promises into your hair. He promised himself he would find more members of the community so you would find friendship and acceptance. So he would, too.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too petal. Loud and proud." He kisses you gently.

~~~~~~~

ddlg masterlist

littlespace taglist:

@lafresamilk @mamacitapascal @prettypedros, @marstheplanet @takochansugoi  @oceanablue @iwishtobeastorm @dincrypt, @bac-1, @spacenerdpascal, @cranberrypills @punkerthanpascal @breezythesimp  @djarinsimp @mylittlesenaar @bbybunbun @phnyx @xwalltoast @dreadwolfxoxo @xwalltoast @mswarriorbabe80 @bearcina @lokigirlszendaya @pedroslilbitch @star-wars-fan-2005  @din-jarhead @hillgoth @m4ngoj3lly @crabbae @im-a-mcsimp-for-mchotties @girlofchaos @joelsflannel @xoxabs88xox @nicolethered @sergeant-major-ghost @pretty-girl-likes-tea @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @marchai

@Teddy2510

@phillygraves