#what’s your kidney stone
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Too late to poll but probably some unholy cosmic entity that feeds off my life force (that’s the pain)
screw birthstones, whats your kidney stone
#fuck zodiac signs#what’s your kidney stone#I feel like I’m an archaeologist trying to revive a mummy#THE POST!!!#ITS ALIVE!!!
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i genuinely could never be a borrower. i cannot climb a rope and am frequently riddled with pains and ailments. ur telling me i have to scale the equivalent of a three story building just to get some saltine crackers? i’d rather rot and die
#i wanna be a borrower so so bad but also im disabled#id have to live in the wall right by the countertop so i wouldnt have to climb#and id only be able to take things the giant left on the countertop. so id need a messy giant#anyways. i think i have kidney stones again.#listen. you. reading this right now. GO drink water. not anything else. WATER. RN#YOU DONT WANT WHAT IM FEELING RN. go drink water. take care of your kidneys. thats an order kid.#(my stones arent from not drinking water but my god. still. go drink water in my honor)
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guys.... (tearing up) i think i feel my kidney stone passing (happy)
#reading up on symptoms is so fucking scary but my symptoms match a stone moee rhan anything#and as of today i think i can feel the pain of the stone passing start to move down my body FUCKKK YESSSS#if i hadnt had a uti before i would be a lot more freaked out but i know what those feel like thankfully#sorry for only painposting and My life fucking sucks posting lately im a bit of a blogger#some sources said the most painful part is when its trying to leave your kidney so hopefully once it starts moving along further i wont be+#+in complete agony
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tumblr: soda is actually good for you!!
chubbyemu: there is not a single kind of soda that is actually not harmful to you
#txt#ha :)#even if it hydrates it's minimum hydration#and if you're basing that knowledge on studies what is the chance they were paid by soda concerns to be written#that plus it either leads to diabetes#or low potassium levels#or kidney stones#there's no winning there#you know the funniest arguments are that it has sugar in it and your body needs sugar so it's ok#or that it doesn't matter what kind of sugar is in it because your body 'can't differentiate'#how are you so confidently wrong#your body needs carbohydrates not white sugar specifically#even less corn syrup#and carbohydrates exist in healthier#less-damaging forms
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Currently resisting the urge to blackmail my father into therapy
#At this point I’ve almost said “well if you don’t talk about your Jehovah’s Witness trauma with someone; I will#because yours is directly related to mine due to having vented on me about it since I was six”#I’ve almost said it ten times within the past hour#exjw#And this is the congregation he thought was our family’s eternal salvation from my apostacy. Ha!#“Jehovah is guiding us here” Jehovah didn’t do shit for you except give you PTSD-induced gout and kidney stones; come off it#Get out of her my people#I’m not even sorry for him. What the elders said to him wasn’t his fault; but he 100% got himself into this mess#for my benefit (to strike the fear of god into his disgusting homosexual sinning boygirl daughter with raging hormones)#And his homophobic rant he went on… please just call me a faggot#I’m having it out with him before I go for no other reason but my own satisfaction#ex cult#”I can’t talk to a worldly therapist because they won’t want to worship Jehovah when someone preaches to them”#Why — pray tell — will they react in that way? Because it’s a cult#Cult: spelled “C-U-L-T.” You didn’t listen to the content of my diaries (which you read against my will) and now you’re suffering#Play stupid games win stupid prizes#He’s the most traumatized out of the two of us as a direct result of him trying to “fix” me…#also because I don’t keep touching a hot stove after it burns me. JWs are a toxic cult; so I no longer believe them#My mental health is better as a result#I have worldly comfort media and I swear liberally (which is proven to soothe physical pain)#I’ve accepted myself as queer. I’ve accepted my dark tastes in music and media.#I’ve started doing something with my life to get out ASAP.#Life isn’t good but it’s gotten better once I changed my mindset and stopped being a close-minded homophobic asshole#Just because a couple gay guys were creepy towards you doesn’t mean they’re all like that#Straight guys have been creepy towards me and I never said I wished death upon all straight men#A creep is a creep is a creep; sexuality doesn’t make you a creep — being creepy makes you a creep
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yeah half of my blog is DIY healthcare because I can technically afford the monthly premiums but what am I getting? It's basically appendicitis / accident insurance, there's not much other value I see in western medicine. And if I do get appendicitis I'm headed to the Good Sam to plead a charity case, and if I get stuck with $80 k debt for appendicitis I'll just have to fight it. Paying the copays would probably be $20k anyway and premiums over the years, another $30k so what's a last $30k to bet I'll never need any of that bs?... I mean in Cuba they do this procedure for hundreds. I could fly NetJets to Mexico (and perhaps Mexico to Cuba) and get it done in either of those countries for a zero off the USA's cash price tag, but air ambulance Netjet with me inside dying of appendicitis doesn't sound too wise so medical tourism is still likely best left for preventative / elective procedures. (can I preventatively get my appendix removed lol)
But we have remedies to diseases capitalism can't crack because our remedies aren't constrained by the need to make a fascist-level-of-profit / monopolizer's-patent for big pharma.
Can we also unpack how Jonas Salk developed the polio vaccine for free and gave it away? Can we unpack the incentives for innovation at work there?
Why was Salk driven to innovate while going total George Washington mode on the victory lap, giving away his fascist prize to the public in exchange for immortality as a truly magnanimous man of the people.
Could it be?
More than just money incentivizes human beings to innovate in medicine?
Could it be, that perhaps more than money drives human action towards saving each other's very lives?
I definitely can't say this for a hospital, or a pharma corp, but I would cross the road to save your life. I would try, I would take a risk to do that, I wouldn't stick my hand out for a $100k of oncology bills like the hospital would, or they tell you to "i dunno i guess just go die of cancer ya brokeass" is what western medicine says. Even if you pay those bills, they won't cure you; you still hear from your provider who wears a pink ribbon "cancer is an incurable disease."
Then what are you researching? lmao
If western medicine is religiously committed to the idea that cancer is un-curable, why the pink ribbons?
Why flood the "awareness channels" with "awareness PSAs" for the most-well known disease on the planet? Could they possibly be doing that to hide something from the public / Google results?
Why do we spend a trillion a year on research for something for which we're religiously opposed to there being a cure?
Nothing adds up until you accept the truth seen by Rick Simpson et al, that western medicine can cure cancer easily they just can't patent that cure. That's the real problem, they can't MONOPOLIZE the many cures to cancer; they cannot control that capital as fascists so they deny that it could even exist as a possibility. Holy gaslights Batman!
[how the critics sound]No! Big⛽️💡 pharma billionaires would never ever ⛽️💡gaslight us! No! no ⛽️💡no no ⛽️💡no ⛽️💡no ⛽️💡no! I had a very charismatic chemistry professor in college and he said cancer has no cure and I believed him, he was so handsome! Science is never wrooooong raaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! I refuse to believe ⛽️💡Pfizer ⛽️💡would ever choose profit over saving lives! [/how the critics sound]
#anarchist / socialist medicine#manifestos to observe#RSO beats cancer#chanka piedra beats kidney stones#i tell this to my family and they are hardcore capitalists who igore me and laugh and get an $80k laser kidney stone removal annually#some would prefer kidney stones' pain than admit we're right#who am i to violate bodily autonomy i will not#you can lead a minotaur to water but you can't make they/them drink#the anarchist healthcare plan#anarchists can conquer and dominate all of medicine with these blueprints#do not constrain your anarchism to destructive behavior#please also know that anarchism can mean using herbal medicine to save lives and what happens next?#You've done a good thing and gained an ally for life in the process#Anarchist medicine as community organizing#who has cancer? who knows someone with cancer? Let's get them set up on the healing trajectory#2-4 months and a budget of $2-3k and you will be right as rain and cancer free#let your doctor observe and post the results of your labs#you will cure cancer with this info- RSO dropped in a capsule per dose
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I feel so shitty.
#personal#what i fuckin get i guess.#sorry for asking a clarifying questjon. sorry for being confused when your words were unclear to me. sorry for trying.#stopping to ask if i can go wasnt a pretty moment but everything fwlt atrocious and i wish shed realized where i was at#feeling like a fucking waste of space#itll pass. itll pass. like a kidney stone but it'll pass.
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actual literal things ive been told by an assortment of doctors: any (non-alcoholic) liquid is a net gain as far as hydration goes, including coffee and juice and soda
there are also sound reasons for drinking more than just water; i have a chronic condition that means my electrolytes are basically always out of whack, so i drink an electrolyte drink at least a few times a week, or else i will deadass faint. maintaining electrolytes is also important for hydration, because if your electrolytes are whack, you dont use and store water as effectively (and if you drink *too much* water, you can flush out nutrients you shouldnt)
i also have an absolute hell of a time eating enough AND i tend to be chronically on the low end of normal for blood sugar, if not fully hypoglycemic. drinking a glass of juice is an easy way to increase calories and nutrients for me, including sugar very much on purpose
as with anything nutrition, the ideal intake of Things varies wildly from person to person, so any hot take of ONLY do xyz is going to be absolute garbage you should never listen to. definitely aim to drink water as you can but DONT feel bad if you cant stand it, just be aware that you have to compensate and supplement your intake in other ways
PSA: i keep seeing posts about staying cool in extreme heat that include advice like "gatorade is bad actually!" and "don't drink fruit juice it'll just dehydrate you!" and neither of these are true!
regarding fruit juice: there's apparently a misconception that Any Sugar At All will dehydrate you, and that's simply not true. yes, sugar will make you pee more when consumed in large amounts, but 1) the natural sugar in fruits won't do this to you 2) great news! a lot of fruit juices exist without any added sugar in them! 3) honestly even having a glass of the fruit juice with added sugar won't completely dehydrate you as long as you're also drinking water throughout the day. if its hot you deserve a cold treat of a drink!!! can't go wrong with fruit juice!!!
regarding gatorade: maybe this isn't an every day drink, but guess what: if it's 110F/40C or hotter outside, and you don't have AC, or you're moving around a lot outside of the AC, and you're sweating buckets: that's when you drink a gatorade.
gatorade exists to replenish all the electrolytes (salt) and glucose (sugar) that you sweat out. YES it is meant for athletes to drink during intensive work outs and not necessarily for people who aren't doing that kind of exercise. BUT GUESS WHAT! when you're sweating buckets because you had to walk to the bus in extreme heat, that's intensive exercise. please feel free to drink a gatorade after that! that's its intended use case!!!!
no: neither of these drinks should be a total replacement for water. but drinking a lot of water and then treating yourself to a fruit juice with lunch is a good idea!!! drinking a gatorade becuase you just had to walk for 20 minutes in the heat is a good idea!!!
Please Stop Spreading Misinformation About Drinks!!! It's fine if you drink things that aren't water!!!! Yes you should probably always be drinking water but drinking something else As Well isn't going to hurt you!!!! okay!!!! its fine!!!!!!
honestly so long as you are consistently getting Any (non-alcoholic) fluids in you, you're doing great!!!!!! okay!!!! i love you stay safe <3
#mochi rambles#pointed look at my wife who i had to bully into drinking water#because they very much only wanted to drink soda or fizzy water#which would be fine#except neither of them are as good at hydrating as water#and theyd only drink a can of each a day#which is NOT ENOUGH LIQUID#especially not when youre prone to *kidney stones*#so now theyve gotten into the habit of getting the litre bottles of fizzy water on the reg#and will often have a couple cups of still water thru the day#but my momma goes thru like six cans of soda a day#and that is not ideal because its spendy#but it works for her#similarly#my baby sister has a lot of food issues#but she loves juice#so she drinks a couple glasses of v8 juice a day to get some solid servings of fruits and veg#there are a ton of variables per person so do what feels right#do research talk to professionals if you can#but if you do better with xyz approach and you feel good doing it that way#its probably fine
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Could you explain how Ambrosia is able to come back after dying?
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Sure yeah, I'll give it a shot.
[Fursona Lore/ Mild Existential Horror presented in charmingly primitive MS Paint style under the cut]
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[At the top of the panel there is the label "conceptual space (currently being created. The middle is labeled "THE UNIVERSE, REALITY (the other)". The bottom is labeled "CONSCIOUSNESS, REFLECTION (the self). The very bottom of the panel reads "OTHER, FREAKIER BUT LESS IMPORTANT STUFF" ]
To keep it brief, a person is when a certain amount of consciousness slips upwards into reality. Consciousness is, like the laws of thermo dynamics [sic], a fundamental property of the universe.
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I'm sure you've heard of the sticking-a-pencil-through-paper metaphor for theoretical wormhole travel, right? Staying within that visual metaphor, imagine the moisture in the air around that "piece of paper" as what consciousness is. It creates tiny, imperceivable changes in the surface and makeup of the paper. Imagine a microscopic rain cloud making a tiny fraction of the paper a little bit soggy. That's what you are in the universe. A tiny soggy fraction of a massive piece of paper. (That's why you feel so small btw).
Of course, putting it into that metaphor IS greatly simplifying it, since in real life things like time and space sorta overlap, ya know? Because they're entirely separate dimensions of measurement. Consciousness is the same, it is everywhere in the universe all at once, but only after it seeps in from a place that is exactly where we are, but elsewhere. 4D stuff is complicated sorry if that's not super clear ha ha.
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Normal people happen when a bunch of that stray potential-consciousness starts stacking more and more layers of reality on top of itself. Sort of like those pastries that you fold butter into and then fold it like 10 times and that makes it so theres like a billion layers of butter and dough and butter and dough and butter and dough and on and on and on. But with, uh. The other stuff. Consiousness and matter from the universe.
Speaking semantically, that's all the little tiny organisms that work really hard to make you alive. Like the biome in your gut, or the bacteria in your tissue and blood cells. Look it up, 43% of the human body is made of bacteria. Like, that's just on google.
Anyway, all their effort culminates in an increasingly complex meat shell that constitutes a person.
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For the sake of practicality, we can imagine the way consciousness "seeps in" to the universe is like heat coming off the sun. The two overlapping infinite planes radiate into each other like heat radiates off the sun.
That clear? Heat from the sun. Remember that, it's important for the next part.
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I'm sort of like a solar flare.
My consciousness, in its raw form, was so concentrated that it was like a tiny shooting star straight from the source.
Also kind of like a kidney stone, I guess.
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Since my consciousness (which, to be clear, is approximately the same "amount" of consciouessness as anyone else, just all smooshed together into a single clump) is smooshed together into a single clump, the shell forms naturally as "reality" settles onto it. The "shape" the consciousness takes is basically the same as your body or anyone else's since the framework of both entities are the "same" on the "outside". Thus the "shells" turn out "similar" too.
Sorry for all the quotation marks, it's hard to talk about concepts outside of the third dimension in third dimensional terms, and like. I also am not super sure about this stuff either. I'm only relaying what I've learned from the scientists but some of it goes over my head.
I like to think I'm clever but like. I'm not a genius.
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So here's the part where me and you are different: When your shell breaks apart (when you die) it's because the consciouessness had been escaping your shell, like air from a balloon, and the physical structure can't support itself anymore. Or, like, maybe you just fall over and hit your head on the concrete one day and pop the balloon all together.
Either way, the consciousness escapes from the pressure, and either goes back "down" where it came from, or goes upward into conceptual space, which is sorta being constituted through forces exerted in the physical universe. Well, I mean, really it's more of a product of a reaction between consciousness and physical space. Whatever I'm getting off topic.
The point is the shell breaks cuz the balloon pops. I think that was my point.
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Now that you get all that, you can probably deduce on your own how and why I'm able to keep "coming back".
It's cuz I'm not really "coming back", I'm still here! The shell representing me here was just lost.
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And while the facade may not look precisely the same every single time...
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I remain the same.
#anon#furry#metaphysics#philosophy#my art#i enjoyed making this a lot#i hope someone finds it interesting to read#its me#mousey me
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Spoiling Astarion?
Bringing him back little things that remind you of him whenever he stays back at camp just so he knows you're still thinking of him while you're apart.
Astarion being so used to receiving little gifts from your travels that when you arrive back at camp, he's standing by your tent with his palm outstretched just waiting to see what you've brought him this time. The giddy little grin that's plastered on his face when you fork over the shiniest object you could get your paws on. All varying in degrees of monetary value, for sure, but all with a unique story of their own.
A couple of old coins from an ancient crypt. The entrance of which you'd all stumbled upon when Karlach punched a wall of a cave in victory after a particularly tough battle, only to come back with a handful of bones and cobwebs. The look of shock on her face when the entire wall came crumbling down on the group was enough to have you in stitches, entirely too weak from laughter to stand. You laid beneath the rubble for so long that Gale had assumed you developed a concussion and needed rescuing.
The PRETTIEST, crystal goblet that you'd stolen right from under a rich lady's nose under the guise that you were testing her drink for poison. You'd downed her ale in two gulps the second you exited the building. Was in the middle of patting yourself on the back for being oh-so cunning when you nearly fell on your ass. It was a sick, twisted coincidence that her ale did, in fact, turn out to be poisoned. But, at least you had a spare antidote on you that you gulped down before Shadowheart could find you in such a state. (And make fun of you, no doubt.)
A set of handmade jewelry– not stolen this time, if you can believe it. Wyll had pointed out the small shop to you while the two of you were out shopping for supplies. Said something about how it might be a good idea to pick out a new pair of socks since you'd been complaining about how holey yours had become after so much running around. Which was a good idea, truly– but the second you'd set eyes on the shop window, you knew what you wanted. A matching necklace and earring set, lovingly crafted with silver chain, so very delicate. So very understated that one could almost miss it among the rest of the more garish examples that sat alongside. Three, very small, opalescent stones shone so pretty at you beneath the sunlight that you could hardly look away. You would have given the shopkeep your left kidney just to see Astarion wearing them, but thankfully, it wasn't necessary. (You became so feral in your excitement to hear the very reasonable price that you nearly threw your entire gold pouch at the clerk's head and then kissed him on the mouth.)
You're an eager one. Astarion never has to wait– always receives his gifts before you can so much as slip your travel pack off of your shoulders. He goes real quiet for a moment. Has this far away look while gazing down at whatever it is, turning it over in his palm a couple of times to really study it.
The two of you sit together while you go through the rest of the day's spoils, and he listens while you tell him all about how you found today's special little trinket. Insists you spare no details in how you acquired it. (Unless any of those details are boring, dear. Do spare him of those.)
You know that there have to be some things he enjoys more than others. You know that there has to be some things you've given him that he outright dislikes. There have been a few occasions where he'd poked fun at you for bringing back something silly. Like "The roundest pebble you'd ever seen, Astarion, look at it roll!" or "This drawing of the two of you that you'd doodled on a stray sheet of parchment when you couldn't find anything else no matter how hard you tried!". BUT he has never refused anything you've chosen to bring back for him.
He thinks it's rather sweet that you've dedicated yourself to proving you still think of him when he stays behind. Wonders why you are the way that you are. Sort of loves you to death for it. Definitely does NOT invest in a bag of holding for everything once it all begins to stack up.
Definitely doesn't insist on you taking one half of the jewelry set so you always have a little piece of one another on you at all times. That would be ridiculous. (Earrings or necklace, darling?)
Sequel?
#bg3#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#bg3 tav#astarion headcanons#gale dekarios#wyll ravengard#karlach cliffgate#shadowheart
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Hi can i request an smau with just met to love at first sight (maybe summertime fling) with lando based on Wherever u r by umi and V 🥹 happy ending!!
wherever u r. ln4. smau.
lando norris x actress!reader
lando always thought that love at first sight was some cliche created by the movies, something not applicable with real life. but then he met you
faceclaim: madelyn cline
y/ninsta posted a story
written: emergency leg shave in a hotel sink before going out in monaco that i definitely do not belong at, wish me luck.
y/bff replied to your story: i can't believe you are going to an event alone, your confidence baffles me
y/ninsta: if it makes you feel better i said yes when i was drunk and now that i'm stone cold sober i am shitting my pants
y/ninsta posted a story
written: two hours later and i am ready
y/nsightings posted a story
written: y/n spotted outside a club in monaco, there is a massive celebrity event there tonight she told a fan that her plus one dropped out last minute so she is attending alone and is shitting herself, sounds like our y/n
f1updates
liked by user1, user2, user3 and 54,683 others
f1updates: lando, charles and alex, daniel and heidi have all been spotted outside the same club in monaco. there is an exclusive invite only event taking place. several celebrities have already been spotted entering the club including zendaya, yn l/n, tate mcrae and the kid laroi
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user1: i would sell a kidney to get inside that club
user2: omg this is the event y/n was shaving her legs for
user3: she is so real for that if i knew that i was going to be in a room with f1 drivers i would shave EVERYTHING
user4: the summer break just started and they are already meeting up at a party they are all obsessed with each other
y/nupdates posted a story
written: y/n spotted leaving the monaco party with an unknown man
y/nfan
liked by user5, user6, user7 and 34,855 others
y/nfan: guys! so my boyfriend does a lot of work behind the scenes in film and tv so we got invited to this event in monaco. and i spotted y/n standing at the back of the party not really interracting with anyone because she didn't know anyone so i went up to her told her that i was a massive fan and she spent a lot of the night with us. we were dancing and watching lando norris' dj set when he saw her and goes "holy shit that is y/n y/ln shit you are hotter in person" and when his dj set was done he ran off the stage and over to us and we were about to take a selfie so i got this gem. honestly the best night ever.
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user7: could that be who y/n was spotted leaving with
user5: omg that is such a lando thing to do
user6: i would not be mad at this couple
landonorris posted a private story
charlesleclerc replied to your story: alex is so mad that she didn't get the chance to meet y/n last night and you guys are just hanging
landonorris: man we are not just hanging, she is like actually perfect
charlesleclerc: oh dear are you what the kids call down bad
landonorris: i will forever hate alex for teaching you that
mclaren: so if you fancied inviting your new "friend" to the dutch gp no one would be mad, especially if she wanted to take part in media day
landonorris: you never miss a trick admin, i'll talk to her
y/ninsta posted a story
written: beach day
y/ninsta
liked by landonorris, sabrinacarpenter, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,384,735 others
y/ninsta: monaco trip dump
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sabrinacarpenter: can't wait for you to be back in la
y/ninsta: girl i have so much shit to tell you
alexandrasaintmleux: meeting you was a dream come true, can't wait until we get to hang out again
y/ninsta: love you so much, will have to visit again soon
landonorris: i made the cut !
y/ninsta: that night was too memorable to not include
user8: y/n what do you mean
user9: lando norris wtf is this crossover episode
user10: didn't she go on holiday alone, who took all these pictures
y/ninsta posted a story
written: first time on a private jet wtf never flying commercial ever again
landonorris posted a story
written: and we arrived, so ready for the next part of the season
charlesleclerc replied to your story: if "we" is who i think it is alex is going to lose her mind
landonorris: tell alex her job is to make sure y/n doesn't get lost in the paddock
f1celebs posted a story
written: actress y/n y/ln has arrived for media day here in the netherlands
y/ninsta posted a story
written: exciting things coming
mclaren posted a story tagging landonorris and y/ninsta
written: lando took actress y/n y/ln on a hot lap, click the link here to watch the whole thing
landonorris
liked by y/ninsta, alexandrasaintmleux, mclaren and 1,453,621 others
tagged: y/ninsta
landonorris: bring your girlfriend to work day
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y/ninsta: i think you mean "almost kill your girlfriend at work day"
landonorris: babe i was actually going slow
alexandrasaintmleux: no you brought MY girlfriend to work
landonorris: well no...
mclaren: next time we will put y/n behind the wheel
y/ninsta: omg really !
landonorris: that is an awful ideal
user10: he has just beaten the norizz allegations by pulling one of the hottest women in hollywood omg way to prove us wrong
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i grew up with a chronic illness and parents who believed i was ‘milking’ my pain. they said things like ‘it’s not that bad’ and ‘you have to get through it and do what everyone else does’. i never got the chance to know what my limits were because i wasn’t allowed to have any. because of that, i underreported symptoms until my disease became severe. scariest part is that i didn’t even realize i was underreporting. i had just been doubting my own body for years.
i still struggle to accept and seek support for pain. recently, i developed a large kidney stone. as i’m laying in the emergency room, crying from pain, i have a thought like ‘this really isn’t that bad’. and i’m like, ‘oh my god, i’m gaslighting my own pain’. meanwhile, i’m being given morphine and bumped up in triage. these should validate my experience, but suddenly i’m thinking ‘i don’t need this, i’m probably milking it’ because that’s what i’ve been told my entire life.
parents and guardians, take any pain your child reports seriously, especially if they are chronically ill. otherwise, you’re teaching them to ignore their own needs and limits, leading to the worsening of conditions and appearance of easily preventable problems. they’ll be much worse off then they’d be if they missed a day of school for supposedly faking a tummy ache.
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If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?
If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖
Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs
A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!
btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.
cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,
GENERAL
ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.
he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.
the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.
contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.
ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.
lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.
ROMANTIC
you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.
“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”
would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.
he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.
after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.
favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)
not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.
now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.
he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.
ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.
the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.
a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.
please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.
pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.
big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.
NSFW
okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!
ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.
i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.
definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.
despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.
he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.
he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.
he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.
did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.
he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.
#creepypasta#creepypasta smut#celia reqs#creepypasta x reader#ben drowned#ben drowned x reader#ben drowned smut#ben drowned x y/n#ben drowned x you#ben drowned headcanons#ben drowned hcs#creepypasta headcanon
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finding out || matt sturniolo part 1
matt x fem!reader
summary: you have a pregnancy scare and you take few tests while your boyfriend is working completely clueless
warnings: angst, fluff, pregnancy, nearly panic attack, lots of emotions
word count: 966
a/n: thanks for reading! I was thinking if you like it maybe I could make another part :) also I only proofread it once so I hope there isn’t many mistakes!
Matt, Chris and Nick were upstairs filming a new podcast episode. I was over at their house since Friday. That would make four days. I was feeling under the weather those past days and Matt told me to stay with them in case I would get sick and needed some help. The thing was I did not have a fever or sore throat. I was just feeling like crap and I was constantly annoyed.
Yesterday I snapped at Chris for basically nothing. He was just leaning on the counter opening his drink while I was making dinner for all of us. I yelled at him to start drinking water or else he would have kidney stones and told him to get out of my way.
"Bro are you on your period or what?" He asked putting his hands up for defense.
The thing was - I wasn't. That's what I relised after his comment.
Whole night I was stressing out and that was all I was thinking about. No period, feeling like crap, feeling sick and tired. I didn’t get any sleep that night.
The moment they told me they are going to film I knew I had like two hours to myself. I ordered door dash from CVS to the house and I impatiently waited for it to be delivered. I ruined my new gel nails by constantly picking on them from the stress and overthinking.
I got a notification from my phone that my order is here. I run downstairs to the front door to get it. I got my bag and closed the doors back. I went downstairs to Chris's bathroom to be as far from them as I could.
"Fuck" I said to myself putting four different pregnancy tests on the counter.
"Okay I can do this, right?" I looked at myself in the mirror.
I looked like a scare crow honestly. I didn't have any make up on, my hair wasn't fresh and I wore oversized set of fresh love that I found in Matt’s closet because I did not feel comfortable in my own clothes.
I released I forgot a cup so I ran back upstairs for a plastic cup and went back down.
I did what I had to do and put all of the tests into the cup and then I closed them and put them in one line back on the counter.
I cleaned up the cup and I realized I am shaking and tears are streaming down my face.
Because what are we going to do? Matt is not even 21 yet, making his dreams come true with his brothers and in peak of their career. I am constantly working and don't even always have great decisions for myself let alone to rise a decent human. I am great with kids, he is great with kids, but we do not even talked about this like ever. What the fuck, he is living here with his brothers, there is no place for a baby here.
"I can’t, I can’t do this" I stormed out of the bathroom and run upstairs.
Next thing I know is that everyone is staring at me while I froze on the top of the stairs in the middle of the podcast studio. I must have looked like a disaster because Nick stood up to hold my arm as I almost collapsed back down.
"wow wow... easy. Y/n what happend? What's wrong?" Nick holds me while I look into Matt's cancerned eyes as he stands up to take me from Nick’s arms.
"Matt..Matt I need you to come with me downstairs" I said.
My voice was shaky and my breath unsteady.
"Honey..." Matt stroked my back gently.
His brothers did not know what to say or do so they just gave us some space. I was glad this whole thing wasn't live out here because I knew I did put quite a show for the cameras.
He helped me walk down the stairs and while we were in the kitchen I pulled his arm to walk to the lower floor.
"What's wrong baby?" He asked me while we stopped by the bathroom doors.
I knew the tests were ready to look at and check. But I was too scared to look at them alone.
"Matt... just promised you won't be mad at me?" I looked at him and I do not even know why I asked him. I already knew he would not be mad at me. He was the best person I know.
"Whatever it is honey I would never be mad at you... I think I might know what is this about" He pushed my hair out of my face and kissed my temple. Of course he knew, he always does. He could read me like an open book.
"O-okay..." I took a deep breath, opened the door and pointed at the counter.
Matt bit his lip and took a deep breath as well.
"I just couldn't do it Matt... I need you to check them" I said and took a seat on the closed toilet.
Matt took all of them and just looked once but I already knew judging by his eyes. He put them back down and kneeled beside me.
"I want you to know that whatever you decide...I will be there y/n." He hugged me tight to his body.
"I love you so much... I am fucking scared shitless right now but as long as it is with you I know we can do this" He whispered in my neck.
I closed my eyes and just cried. I just wasn't ready of all of this. But in the same time I thought that this might be my missing piece.
In the world of boys he's a gentleman.
#Spotify#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt x reader#sturniolo fanfic
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Me imagining Deadpool abusing the TVA in his third movie to pop in on Steve Rogers during Endgame:
Wade: Hey so, I know you got this plan to go back to the past and stay there because the writers are hacks and they can't even keep their own lore intact but LISTEN, how about you hand me those stones and I'll take care of them for ya.
Steve: *staring bewilderedly at the man in Red and Black who just materialized out of thin air* Uh...do I know you?
Wade: Wade Wilson. HUGE fan. I can do this all day. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Til the end of the line. Although that last one isn't gonna be real honest if we let the writers ruin a decade of character development, right? *wriggling fingers* Now let me at them sparkly Josh Brolin Space Kidney Stones.
Steve: Look, I really shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point but this is really important and I can't just hand over-
Wade: You know what else is important? Making sure we keep giving Disney the middle finger despite our inability to stop sucking their tits for content because at the end of the day, we're all victims of capitalism. So just give me the fucking stones, Captain Sexy Ass and not ruin my motivation to finish writing the 300k slow burn best friend soul mate AU Stucky fic that I've been working on for two years. Capiche?
Steve: Uhh...
Wade: *picks up the case with the stones and gives finger guns at a confused Bucky* Buckaroo, just a reminder that the serum shortens refractory periods and Wakanda is reallll nice this time of the year for honeymoon destinations. *Large Obvious Wink*
Bucky: Uhh...
Wade: *random beeping from his toolbelt* Oh gotta go! Have fun! *disappears*
Sam: *giving Steve and Bucky the Stink Eye* How short is your refractory period?
Steve and Bucky: *redfaced*
Bruce: *sighs and walks off to go make a sandwich*
#this was pure crack and i have no regrets lol#deadpool#wade wilson#steve rogers#bucky barnes#sam wilson#bruce banner#stucky#fic drabble#deadpool 3
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