#what? check hormone levels?

[t4transsexual]

lowkey am probably intersex but i dont have a primary care doctor and i changed like most of my sex characteristics so idrk what to do about that lmao

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

So I stopped bothering to treat my acne even though the treatment I was using worked. I saw significantly clear skin for the first time in years. But the reason I stopped is cause… I didn’t actually feel much better about my face. In fact, I kept obsessing over other aspects of my skin. The fact that there’s was still redness in some areas, for example.

I only started that treatment to spite my mom who wouldn’t listen to me when I said acne is far more complex to treat than practicing basic hygiene. She wouldn’t get off my ass for my acne either. I talked about an insecurity of mine irt not knowing how to talk to new people and she blamed it on my acne and it tells people i’m not confident??? (This was an internal struggle, people are nothing but kind to me)

It was just frustrating to me that I essentially opened up a pandora’s box of developing an obsession/insecurity over something that’s fucking harmless. The wash I was using worked, but that required dealing with my face burning even with the gentlest wash possible. It’s absolutely insane to willingly subject myself to pain for that

And I told my mom that I would have to use treatment methods that actually work like OTC creams or washes with salicylic acid. And 1. she indicated that she knew those existed but never bothered telling me about them (I had no idea they were a thing) 2. She told me that just washing my face every day (“without those Chemicals”) should be enough to get rid of my acne, ignoring the fact that my skin cleared up periodically regardless of whether or not I washed my face. Then of course she shifted the goal posts. Washed my face every day with water and that didn’t make a difference? I have to use more products. I used face wash products (without salicylic acid) in the past and I didn’t see a difference? I’ll need to use them longer than 2 weeks if I want results. Of course I’m welcome to waste money on something when I could just be doing it for free… 🙄

My mom doesn’t have acne by the way, and never really had much in her teen years. If you read studies on what causes acne, there’s quite a lot of mention of hair follicles. I have hair on my face, my mom doesn’t. She barely has body hair in general, she straight up doesn’t have any on her arms and legs. So I am just prone to developing acne while she isn’t, but she believes that she must be doing something right while I’m not.

So I used the wash out of spite, and saw results. But it didn’t feel worth it for the reasons I outlined before. I didn’t gain a better appreciation for my face, instead I kept trying to “fix” more and more because it wasn’t enough. If you desperately search for problems, you’ll find some. that’s why the beauty industry makes so much money, and I’ve always been against that. I think I’d prefer if I didn’t have acne since I keep picking my skin, however I see it more as a neutral trait that I don’t necessarily like but can live with. I can’t even really imagine having a clear face and I don’t even want to look “perfect” either. It’s just how I look. Who cares

[bybdolan]

this is very personal + subjective because different things are helpful for different people, but one thing that really messed with me during my time of attempting to figure out whether I was gay or bi was the vagueness which with "real" and "fake" attraction are described. It simply wasn't and isn't healthy for me to analyze whether attraction I feel is "real" or "fake" based on pretty arbitrary and broad markers.

[sttoru]

⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’re heavily pregnant with sukuna’s child and so desperately need to have your specific pregnancy cravings: mangoes. when you realise you’re out of them, you turn into an emotional mess.

tags. true form!sukuna x wife!female reader. fluff, sfw. pregnancy. size difference (reader referred to as small). reader gets called ‘woman, brat’ wc: 1.8k

you’re crying in your chambers, the volume of your cries overshadowing sukuna’s arrival at the estate. you hiccup and sniffle as you sit in the corner of the master bedroom. there really doesn’t seem to be an end to your mental breakdown.

you’re prone to mood changes because of your pregnancy, already being seven months along. your belly is as round as a globe as it sticks out from under your kimono.

you hold onto your lower abdomen while mumbling to yourself. “not fair,” you rub your blurry eyes with your free hand.

the bedroom doors suddenly swing open. you lift your head from your knees and make eye contact with your husband who looks rather . . . upset. more upset than you are at the moment, that’s for sure.

you whimper as his big and intimidating stature dwarfs over yours while you’re stuck in the corner. when you look up at him, you cry even louder. seeing that familiar face after two whole days of suffering in this place alone gets you even more emotional.

after sukuna entered the room, his gaze had immediately fell upon your quivering figure. he raises an eyebrow as you cry louder once you spot him, the sound breaking his ear drums. he lets out a sharp exhale, a hint of annoyance seeping into his tone.

“enough with the tears,” sukuna grumbles as he crosses the room in a few long strides. his presence is both imposing and protective as he looms over your small figure.

his eyes flicker over your body—taking in the sight of your round belly. he can’t deny that the view makes his shoulders relax, relieved to see his wife do well after two days without seeing you.

sukuna kneels down before you, his eyes narrowing as he notices the tears running down your cheeks. who knows how long you’ve been sobbing? the realisation that no one has checked on you while you’ve been crying like this irks him.

the king of curses will make sure that every single servant - and especially the ones assigned to you - pay for not noticing your sour mood sooner.

“damn it, woman,” sukuna curses under his breath, his words laden with both irritation and a sense of concern, “what’s gotten into you now, hmm? why the blubbering mess?"

you hiccup, gasping for air as sukuna kneels down to your level, something he rarely does. one of his hands reach out to wipe a tear from your cheek, his expression stoic and unreadable while he does so.

“welcome home,” you utter, remembering to greet him properly. you wipe your own tears away and try to explain the situation without it sounding absurd. “i—i went down to the kitchen to get som-something,” you stammer, trying to spit it out before sukuna’s irritation spikes.

“but they didn’t have the food i craved—they’re out of mangoes,” your wailing starts again just at the thought of your non existent fruit. it felt like the most devastating moment in your life when the maids told you that they were out of mangoes.

sukuna’s annoyance quickly dissolves upon hearing your explanation. the revelation that you’re crying over mangoes seems so unbelievable, so absurd, that he couldn't help but let out a dry huff of laughter. an amused smirk tugs at the corners of his lips.

the pink haired man brushes the remnants of the tears away from your face. his rough fingers pause at your chin, giving it a light tap. “mangoes, huh? y’re out here bawling y’r fucking eyes out like a baby for some damn mangoes?”

despite his tough exterior, sukuna knows that pregnancy hormones often amplified emotions, making even the smallest things a cause for crying. and right now, you’re stressing and sputtering over some mangoes.

“mangoes,” you nod and cry softly, watching as sukuna rubs your cheeks with his manly fingers, enjoying his rough touch. you easily guess by just the increased toughness of his calluses that your husband has worked hard while he was gone.

though, mangoes are your current pregnancy craving and not having them meant war to you. it’s all you can focus on—even if your beloved sukuna is right in front of you.

“i need them,” you whine and pout. your hormones made it difficult for you to calm down.

you do, however, try your best to stop crying. you clean your face with the sleeve of your kimono and bite on your bottom lip to refrain from bawling your eyes out for the nth time. “i want my mangoes,” your voice is hoarse as you glance up at sukuna, “please?”

sukuna hates to admit it, but his expression softens upon hearing the hoarse tone of your pleading voice. the view of your tear-streaked face and the knowledge that you’re experiencing pregnancy cravings makes it difficult for him to maintain his usual firm demeanor.

the king of curses sighs, his annoyance replaced by a reluctant acceptance of your plight. “tsk, damn it,” he mutters, lazily resting his head against the palm of one of his hands, “y’re really gonna make me fetch you some mangoes?”

here you are, a grown woman crying and begging like a kid for a sweet, juicy mango. he’s seen you in many states - happy, sad, tired, excited - but never quite as emotionally overwhelmed just for a piece of fruit. sukuna’s large hand reaches out to pat your head in a surprisingly gentle manner, a rare display of his softer side.

you pout at sukuna and lean into his touch as he pats your head. you come up with something witty to say, as you always do. “well, you’re the one who got me pregnant,” you comment in a teasing way, sticking your tongue out at your husband.

no matter what sour mood you’re in, you can still be sassy. though it doesn’t last long before your bottom lip trembles again. “i can’t do anything about it. the baby craves mangos,” you whine as you rub your baby bump to emphasise your words.

you are eating for two people after all—for you and the baby.

sukuna’s smirk widened at your retort and the playful gesture. even in your distraught state, you had the audacity to sass him. damn cheeky little woman.

the pink-haired man chuckled darkly, his hand clumsily ruffling your hair again before pulling away. “‘n i don’t regret a thing. even if i gotta put up with y’r cranky ass.”

you roll your eyes at sukuna’s reply. you know you’re an emotional mess, but you couldn’t care less. anything for your mangoes—those juicy ones that you could eat a dozen of in one sitting.

“the maids said that the mangoes were out of stock in the towns ‘nd villages nearby,” you continue while you carefully stand up from the corner. you’re trying your best to stay rational. you’re extremely hungry and haven’t eaten ever since breakfast. that’s how stubborn you are being.

“but i’m hungryyyyy. want my mangoes,” you sigh and nearly stomp your feet out of frustration.

“yeah, yeah—fuckin’ hell,” sukuna groans, watching you slowly stand up, your pregnant belly protruding like a perfect sphere. it’s a constant reminder of the effect he has on you, and somehow, it makes him proud.

he helps you stand up by holding onto your arm, sharp eyes focused on your body to make sure you don’t strain a single muscle.

after you manage to stand up straight, you walk with sukuna to the kitchen to find something to eat—perhaps some other fruit will satisfy your cravings for now.

sukuna follows behind you, his steps long and leisurely while your shorter strides keep the pace with him. as the two of you walked towards the kitchen, he continues to listen to your repeated mantra. it’s driving him insane.

“mangoes, mangoes, mangoes. i get it, brat,” the king of curses swears he can feel the vein in his forehead throb. you’re lucky that he . . . tolerates you as his wife.

it’s something more than just ‘tolerating’ you, of course. but openly admitting to loving you, even in the slightest, is something sukuna would never do.

if someone would ask him why he goes the extra mile for you, his answer would be that it’s simply because you’re carrying his heir. however only sukuna knows the full truth, the sappy secret he’ll forever keep to himself.

before you arrive at the kitchen, you bump into uraume. they glance from sukuna to you and bow. “good day,” they greet you with as much respect as they do to sukuna. they’ve been doing so ever since you gained your title as his wife.

the king of curses folds all four of his arms over his chest. his lower pair of eyes are still focused on your impatient self, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. he just knows you’re holding yourself back from asking for your active pregnancy craving again.

sukuna clicks his tongue and nods his head at you while he speaks to uraume. “keep an eye on her while ‘m gone. feed her what she wants,” he says in his deep voice, his tone commanding and firm.

uraume remains quiet for a second. sukuna had recently came back from a mission and is once again heading out for some ambiguous reason, but they know better than to question their master.

“where are you going, hubby?”

you of course, get a free pass. you don’t hesitate at all before questioning your husband. sukuna scoffs when he hears your voice ask him that in such an oblivious manner. you should’ve known where he was departing to.

“where’d you think, smartass?” he pinches your nose, causing you to swat his fingers away out of instinct. he gives up on your nose and moves to squeeze your cheeks together in a gentle yet firm manner.

you huff at his antics. sukuna grins at your frown and pout before releasing your jawline with a faint push.

“you better hold on ‘til i come back with y’r stupid mangoes,” he scoffs while turning around to walk to the entrance, “and when i do, i don’t wanna hear ‘nother squeak, understood?”

sukuna seems to have made another mission for himself; find his heavily pregnant wife mangoes before she goes absolutely insane.

your face lights up and you nod repeatedly. your heart melts when you realise that sukuna is actually putting effort to satisfy your needs. he may be harsh and stern at times, but his actions speak louder than his words.

“okay! love you, ‘kuna!” you call out to your lover while he disappears behind the gates. as expected, your words are met by silence.

that’s fine with you. not hearing an ‘i love you’ back doesn’t hurt you as much as it did at the start of your relationship.

you know sukuna cherishes you in his own special way. if he didn’t, you’d be dead long time ago. on top of that, he would not go out on a hunt for mangoes right after coming back home if he didn’t like you.

you know sukuna would let the world burn for you.

[neverendingford]

.

[neuvostoliitto]

my T levels have been too high pretty much since the beginning. the previous doctor who checked my results was like it's probably ok since you've had changes (i'm now 5 years on T btw), but it has been bothering me so i mentioned it to another doctor when they checked my levels this year. and this doctor's like yeah your levels are way too high :) . i hope this leads into something.

[cyprozombiegirl]

The Truth About Biological Sex: It’s made up and the three things they use to define it are whack

So obviously your gender is whatever the fuck you feel like it is. But also it’s important to remember biological sex is just a made up category and not only is it made up but it’s made up of 3 determining characteristics: chromosomes, genitalia, and hormones. Chromosomes are initially very important in sexed development because they function sorta like a map for the direction your body figures it is gonna take. But that’s all they are, a map, a plan. There’s a reason no one really checks them, because why would you, they only tell you what the body was initially intending to do, and you can see what the body has done right in front of you so why would you need to check what it intended to do. Second is genitals, which are changeable and very similar to each other. They’re important in child creation but beyond that they’re largely swappable and made of the same tissue etc. Then there is hormones, these MFs are important, cause they basically regulate ever other sexed aspect of your body and even can make that oh so unimportant chromosomal map change its course. Because of this, many many countries correctly, or at least sorta correctly (more on this in a minute), realize that after awhile on HRT most people’s bodies begin functioning on a microscopic level like the gender they are, and not their AGAB, and that treating them as if they still are the sex they used to be is medically dangerous and inaccurate. Thus these countries let you change your sex on your health information (and other info). However it is worth noting that while this is absolutely medically necessary, it can feel weird saying that it is which hormones your body is currently processing that determines your sex, since they’re are so many aspects to hormones that feel very detached from some definition of sex. Like does my sense of smell being better or being more sensitive to physical touch really have anything to do with sex? Isn’t that just hormones? Which is why I said it’s only semi correct for these countries to say that hormones make sex, since they do so much more than sex too, making it really seem like nothing is actually biological sex. It’s like looking under a ghost’s sheet and finding nothing at all. But regardless, it is very clear that if anything is sex it is definitely not chromosomes and if it is anything at all, which I don’t really think it is, it is hormones.

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 12 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You and Bradley embark on the babymoon of your dreams where a warm beach and hot sauce await. When you not only indulge his current fantasy but allow him to take it to the next level, he's more excited than ever for the future.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, lactation kink, cockwarming, slight exhibitionism

Length: 4800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

"I wish you could fly us there in your Super Hornet. We would save so much time."

Bradley kissed the top of your head as you wrapped your hands around his bicep and snuggled against him. "Sweetheart, I got us first class tickets for a reason," he murmured. "I'm getting sick of sitting in an uncomfortable cockpit seat every day."

"I thought you bought first class seats because you love me and Rosie and wanted us to be comfortable."

You were looking up at him with your chin propped on his arm and a smirk on your face. "Well, yeah. That, too," he promised, and you laughed. "But I'm getting old, and the seats are uncomfortable."

"You're not old, Roo," you told him with an eye roll. "You're just right."

Bradley relaxed back in his aisle seat as you stretched up to kiss the gray hairs that were starting to show along his temple. He was tired, but he knew you were as well. It had been a long week at work for both of you, and now the commercial airplane was starting to pull away from the gate. In approximately five hours, it would touch down in Loreto, Mexico for five days in the sun.

A bit of a January cold snap had taken over San Diego, and everyone at work seemed a little jealous about the babymoon location. But truthfully, Bradley had really only chosen it with you in mind. The luxury resort was right on a beautiful beach, and there was a chef who taught cooking classes every day. Bradley could already picture you happily sunbathing before attending the hot sauce demonstration. He was just along for the ride, happy to go anywhere that you and Rosie wanted to.

You kissed his ear and whispered, "As soon as we get to the hotel, I need you."

Bradley groaned in response and then laughed. "I literally just fucked you three hours ago."

"That was three hours ago."

"How do you make it through a day at work right now? Please explain that to me."

"Very carefully," you told him.

Your hormones were all over the place, and Bradley had taken to checking your blood pressure before and after any sort of sexual activities. He knew he was probably going overboard, but you had mild preeclampsia, and he was feeling more protective of you than ever before in spite of your protests that you and the baby were fine.

"I'll make a deal with you," he murmured as the plane took off. "How about you order a meal from the flight attendant while I take a nap, and then when we're alone, we can do whatever you want."

Your eyes lit up, and Bradley was already half asleep a few minutes later when he heard you ordering a wrap and a fruit bowl.

---------------------------

The resemblance of the hotel in Loreto to the Four Seasons in Waikiki was uncanny, and you were trying to keep your cool while Bradley chatted with the woman at the concierge desk. You were having honeymoon flashbacks, and it was making you dangerously horny as you laced your fingers with his and gave him a little tug.

"Roo," you whispered, pressing your nose to his bicep and inhaling deeply. You knew that he knew what you needed, but he just kept on laughing at everything the other woman said. Now he was asking her questions. Another few minutes of this, and you were going to lose it. 

You were about to tell him that social hour was over, but she started laughing at something. As soon as he mentioned that you were pregnant, she looked at you instead of Bradley and started making a fuss over your belly. Next thing you knew, you got a free room upgrade. 

"Why do you think I talk to everyone like I do?" Bradley asked, pulling you into his arms when you were finally alone with him in your hotel room which overlooked the beach and had a private plunge pool. "You never know when they might decide to give you an upgraded room."

Now he was the one following you around, trying to undress you, while you checked out the stunning accommodations in awe. "Good job, Daddy," you muttered. "You got us a private pool. And we can sit out on the patio and watch the sun rise tomorrow. Oh! And we can order room service for breakfast!"

You were about to step outside and see how warm the pool was when Bradley grabbed you from behind by your hips. "Get back in here. You can't just whine for my cock for an entire flight and then act like a brat in the lobby and expect me not to be hard as a rock by the time we get to the room."

It was impossible to contain your smile as his hands found their way up inside your shirt. And that's when you felt just how hard he was. "I wanted to check out the pool," you whined, knowing you'd get an even bigger reaction out of him.

"And you will," he promised, turning you around and pulling your shirt over your head. "Just as soon as I fuck you and check your blood pressure."

"Bradley, did you seriously bring the blood pressure cuff with us?" you asked as he unhooked your bra.

"Yeah," he grunted. "Of course I did. I promised Dr. Morris we'd keep a close eye on it." Then he swiped his thumb along your nipple, and your entire body reacted to him as he stared longingly at your chest and said, "Good god, your tits are exquisite."

"My bras don't really fit anymore," you whispered as he dropped yours to the floor.

He moaned your name. "I did happen to notice that." Your breasts were in his big hands, and he gave you a hard squeeze, making your head tipped back. Your nipples felt a little sore, but his calloused fingers gave you an undeniably delightful sensation when he touched you. "Jesus, Baby Girl. They are fucking huge. And so warm." Your husband had been fixating on your chest throughout your entire pregnancy, but right now, his pupils were wide, and his voice was impossibly raspy as he gently pinched you. 

"Roo," you gasped, unable to process the pleasure with a bit of pain except to grab him closer. "Do it again."

"Fuck." He guided you so you were sitting on the edge of the bed, and you watched him unbutton his shirt. He tossed it aside and pulled his undershirt off as well, and you placed a kiss to his abs before unzipping his jeans. Once he was undressed, you tried to suck his cock, but all you were able to do was get one good lick in before he took a step away from you.

"Please?" you whined, but he was shaking his head.

"I'll come in two minutes if you start doing that," he rasped. "And I want to spend some quality time with your tits first."

"Oh," you said with a smile, smashing your breasts gently together. "Like this? A titty fuck?"

You watched him touch himself as his eyes were glued to what you were doing with your hands, but he shook his head again. "No," he whispered, licking his lips. "I want my mouth on you."

As you leaned back on the bed and started to pull your leggings and underwear down, you watched his cheeks grow a deeper shade of pink as your breasts bounced. "Roo," you whispered. "You can put your mouth anywhere you want." But his gaze never wavered as he palmed his cock and climbed into bed with you. Neither suitcase was unpacked. You hadn't even finished exploring the room. But your husband was pulling your nipple between his lips, and you knew you were in this for the long haul.

He released you with a pop as you dragged your fingers through his hair, and he murmured, "You're fucking perfect." Then he kissed your round belly and said, "And so are you." Then he tossed all of the throw pillows to the floor and sat with his back against the headboard and patted his thigh. "Come here?"

You crawled up the bed to get to him, and he groaned as he watched you, his cock jumping with excitement. He wanted full access to your boobs; you knew that much. But you desperately needed to feel him. When you straddled his waist, his hands were on your chest, but when you eased yourself down around his length, his eyes went wide. "Let me just keep you warm while you take your time," you told him with a smile.

The sensation of feeling so completely full was incredible, and Bradley kissed along your tender breasts as he let his hands rest on your bump. "God damn it," he panted. "Your nipples are fucking delicious." He lapped at the underside of one breast before trailing his nose along one furled peak and then the other. When you moaned and clenched around him, his hands crept back to your hips, pulling you down harder until you gasped. But his mouth stayed on your chest.

He was obsessed. It was like he couldn't help himself. And he seemed to be getting worse, which you actually kind of loved, if you were being honest. Your weird, pregnant body seemed to just make him hornier, but especially your breasts. As he nipped hungrily at your chest, you decided to test a theory that had formed in your mind. "If you love them this much now, what are you going to do when I'm actually lactating?"

Bradley met your gaze, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. "Fuck," he whimpered. His Adam's apple bobbled as he swallowed hard, and he thrust slowly up into you.

You kissed his forehead and whispered, "You've been going wild for months, Roo."

Your husband looked embarrassed as he nodded and pressed his nose to the valley between your breasts. His mustache prickled your skin as he said, "I don't know why. I just can't get enough. They feel... warmer. And you smell insanely good. And I just can't stop thinking about how you look and taste right now."

You took his face in your hands as you wiggled your hips, and you were rewarded with the needy sound of his grunting. "You're blushing so much, Bradley. But you don't need to be embarrassed. I don't think I'll ever get over how much you like my body this way."

"It's perfect. You're always perfect. I love you."

You nodded and kissed his forehead again as he ran his fingers along both of your nipples. "I love you, too. But I want an answer, so I'm going to ask you one more time... If you love them this much now, what are you going to do when I'm actually lactating? Leaking breast milk and feeding the baby?"

Your husband's brown eyes looked like melted chocolate as he took a few deep breaths. His brow was furrowed, and his voice was deep and needy as he asked, "What will you let me do?"

Your eyes went wide as you gasped, and you ran your thumb across the scars on his pink cheek while he squeezed at your tits, his expression timid and skittish. You weren't used to seeing him like this, and you knew you were completely in control here. You were turned on beyond reason as you took a deep breath and asked, "Would you like it if I let you taste me when I'm lactating?"

He didn't hesitate, voice low as he said, "Fuck. Yes."

You tipped your head back for a beat while he kissed your nipples. "And would you like to rub your cock all over them while they leak, Roo? Titty fuck me until I'm an absolute mess?"

He growled your name, and then in an instant, you were on your back in the middle of the massive bed. He was fucking you hard, your breasts bouncing as he watched them before burying his face against your neck. His hips were relentless, pounding into you as he muttered, "I want to taste what you'll feed to the baby."

"Oh, god!" you moaned, voice quivering from how hard he was fucking you.

"I want to lick you everywhere, but especially all over your gorgeous tits, Sweetheart. I keep thinking about how you'll taste when you have milk, and it's driving me crazy."

"Bradley," you whined, tugging on his hair as his mouth found your breasts. "I'll let you do anything you want."

He withdrew his cock and knelt above you, one hand gently caressing your belly as he jerked off onto your breasts and your necklace charms. His cheeks were still pink, but he was looking at you with needy certainty now. There was nothing to worry about. You knew what he wanted, and he seemed pleased that he didn't have to put the words together himself.

He leaned down and kissed your lips, running one finger through his cum and then feeding it to you. "If you'll let me, then I'll do it all."

----------------------------

Bradley thought perhaps he should be embarrassed. He knew his thoughts were a little depraved as of late. Your breasts were his achilles heel at the moment, and he already knew he wouldn't be able to contain himself once you actually started leaking breast milk. He liked to imagine it. Liked to think about sucking on your swollen tits. He even enjoyed the mental image of running the tip of his cock along your leaking nipples before asking you to give him head.

But you just indulged him in his fantasies. You got him to admit what he wanted, and you told him he could have it all. Then you licked up some of his cum as he fed it to you before pulling him into the shower and holding a completely normal conversation with him while you lovingly washed his hair. Alright. So you were definitely more than okay with how badly he wanted to lick up after your breasts as soon as they started leaking.

"I'm so in love with you," he interjected as both of you toweled off. You just smiled and kissed him before flouncing back into the bedroom with your hand on your belly. Then he took your blood pressure, making sure it was completely normal, while you looked at the room service dinner menu.

"Bradley!" you almost screamed, and he dropped the blood pressure cuff on his foot. "They serve twenty different kinds of hot sauce!"

"Why do you think I brought you to this specific resort?" he asked, picking up the cuff and putting it away safely while you read off all of the different kinds of hot peppers in the sauce varieties. "I signed you up for a private hot sauce making lesson with one of the chefs tomorrow."

"You did?" you gushed, looking up at him like he just told you he bought you a hot pepper farm of your own. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

"I thought you and Rosie would have a good time trying some specialty samples and making one of your own," he said with a shrug before running his hand along your belly.

"Well, you're officially the best husband ever." You handed him the menu and said, "Rosie and I are starving. I want the tacos, the taquitos, and the catch of the day, but I'm too embarrassed to call it in myself."

"Got it. Why don't you go relax on the patio, and I'll meet you out there?"

He watched you though the open French doors, admiring the perfect curve of your cheek and your round belly in the fading sunlight as he ordered an absurd amount of food along with two virgin margaritas. He asked them to send a few of the hot sauces for you to try, and then when he ended the call, he went rushing outside to be with you.

Just as you finally got cozy on his lap, the plethora of food arrived, and Bradley groaned as he stood to let them bring it in. As soon as you had the taco platter in front of you, your eyes lit up, and you started trying all of the sauces. Once he took a sip of both margaritas and confirmed there was no tequila involved, he handed one to you and took a seat at the patio table.

You laughed and asked, "What do you want me to do with this?"

"There's no alcohol. I got two in case you want both." He bit into his own meal which tasted even better than he anticipated, and the sound of the Gulf of California just beyond the short stretch of beach left him feeling very relaxed. "Or maybe the Nugget wants her own."

You took a sip and grinned. "Well, you've thought of everything. What else do you have planned for this long weekend?"

"You'll find out," he promised. 

That first night, you fell asleep curled up at his side with a full belly and your hand resting on his chest. He'd left the Nugget notebook at home, and truthfully he didn't have much on his mind other than the fact that anything involving your tits was apparently fair game for him, so he decided to just talk to his daughter quietly instead of jotting anything down.

"Hey, Rose the Nugget," he whispered, feeling her thump as soon as he let his hand rest on the side of your bump. "It's Daddy." He smiled as she squirmed a bit, and honestly he didn't know how you were ever able to get any sleep when she was like this. "I love you. I can't wait to meet you in about eight weeks. Don't give your mom too hard a time, okay? No blood pressure spikes or anything like that. You just take it easy in there while I take care of her out here."

-----------------------------

"Let's start with one habanero and see how you like the spice level before we add too much."

You nodded at Chef Santiago and did your best to mimic him cutting up the hot pepper. You were in the kitchen wearing latex gloves, a hair net and an apron over the adorable dress you bought. If you had known what Bradley had planned, you'd have packed something other than a pile of cute outfits and lingerie for the babymoon.

Not that your husband was complaining. His cock was in you just moments after you woke this morning. And when you got dressed earlier, he made a comment about how good your breasts looked and threatened to take you back to bed. If you didn't have plans with a hot sauce professional for the afternoon, you'd have let him.

"That looks perfect," Chef Santiago told you, and you moved on to the next step, trying to memorize everything you were learning. There were so many tiny nuances that would apparently raise or lower the spice level of a hot sauce, and you never knew it. 

You could already imagine turning your own kitchen at home into a workshop while you make a signature hot sauce for Christmas presents at the end of the year. Bradley would be holding Rose to let her watch, telling her about how hot the peppers were and then probably singing a Red Hot Chili Peppers song to make her giggle. You'd be in your apron, dancing around to their nonsense.

"Now we're ready to blend." You looked up at Chef Santiago as he pulled you from your beautiful daydream. He was plugging in a blender, and you nodded in agreement. 

"Yes. Time to blend it."

When you were finished, you left the kitchen with two bottles of the most delicious hot sauce you could imagine. Even the orange-red color was pretty, and you went right out to the beach instead of back to the hotel room. Bradley had supposedly gone kayaking while you were creating your masterpiece, but when you found him on a lounge chair between the pool and the sand, he was laying on his stomach, sound asleep and snoring.

"Roo," you whispered, running your fingers along his glistening, sweaty bicep. His mustache twitched, but that was it. "Bradley," you said a little louder, tracing a scar on his cheek. Even when you poked his neck and raked your fingers through his hair, he just kept snoring. "Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw."

With a groan, he cracked his eyes open against the afternoon sunlight. "Are you talking to me or yourself?" he asked, carefully rolling onto his back.

"You!" He liked to tease that you both had the same name at work, even though your last name was hyphenated. "You're going to get sunburned."

"Nah, I sprayed myself before kayaking," he insisted, reaching for your belly. "Did my girls have fun?"

"Absolutely," you replied, shaking your hot sauces as he pulled you down onto the chair next to him. "How was kayaking?"

He flexed as he lounged back on the chair. "It was a decent upper body workout. You gonna let me try the hot sauce?"

Now you were distracted. "Do that again," you whispered with a smile, and this time when he flexed, he tightened up his abs too. "Let's go back to the room for a quickie and some more sunblock, and I'll let you taste my hot sauce."

"That sounds like a euphemism," he murmured, but he was already standing up. "I'm in."

When you got back to the room, he wasn't quick at all. He was languid and methodical, skin warm from baking in the sun. His hair smelled like sweat and salt water, and his voice was deep as he made so many promises to you.

"I can't wait for Rose to get here. I love her so much already. I'm gonna take care of both of you forever."

True to form, his mouth was all over your chest, and he made sure you came before he indulged himself in some deep thrusts, filling you up as he called out your name against your neck. Two minutes after he cleaned you up, you already wanted more, but he looked tired, and he definitely got more sun than he thought he did.

"Come here," you coaxed, leading him out to the patio where you took a few minutes to coat him up with sunblock, kissing him each time you had to squeeze some more out of the tube.

"Thanks, Baby Girl," he murmured.

"This is purely selfish," you told him, licking his ear before putting a dab of sunblock there. "If you get a bad burn, you'll be out of commission, and you know how horny I am right now."

When you started to walk away, he reached for the hem of your dress and grabbed your thigh. You met his gaze once again, and the needy look there made you swallow hard. "Why don't you put on your red bikini from our honeymoon? We can go down to the water for a bit."

You knew he really wanted to see you wearing it with a big belly, but you felt a bit self conscious. The thing was skimpy enough before you were pregnant. But when he started stroking your tattoo through your dress, you whispered, "Let me get changed."

----------------------------

Bradley had his arm casually slung over your shoulders as the two of you walked along the beach in the early evening sun. It was a little less crowded now, and you were chattering away and wearing his aviators as you dropped your tote bag off at two empty chairs. Everyone was looking at you and your bump. You were some sort of combination of adorable and sexy at the moment, but he especially appreciated that you were wearing his sunglasses. 

Just when he was ready to settle down and potentially take a nap with you this time, you shook your head and started leading him down to the water. He was exhausted from the sex and sun, but you were wearing your tiny honeymoon bikini, and he could see your rooster tattoo below your belly.

"This was your idea," you told him, playfully tugging on his arm while your tits bounced slightly. "You're the one who wanted to go in the water."

Bradley grunted softly and pretended that you were capable of pulling him where you wanted him to go. "I thought it was your idea," he teased, and you shot him a bland look over his aviators

"Come on, Daddy," you coaxed as your feet hit the water. You were grinning nonstop as you added, "If you're good, I'll show you my boobs when we get out there."

Bradley made sure his footing was solid, and you squealed when he picked you up and carried you into the water. "Roo! You're a maniac!"

The salty water splashed up around your body as you laughed, and soon Bradley was in waist-deep water with you clinging to the front of him. "You act like you don't know exactly what's going to get me going right now," he said, nipping at your lips. "Now show me the goods."

You kissed him hard and then whispered, "You have to work for it."

You wiggled free, and he chased you around in the water for a few minutes while you splashed him. Every time you glanced back over your shoulder to see where he was, your smile grew. Slowly he closed the distance, reaching for you under the water. When his hands found your hips, you let him pull you back until you were pressed against him. He could feel your quickening pulse when he kissed along your neck, and it matched his. Bradley spun you slowly in his arms so you were facing him, and he toyed with the ties on both sides of your bikini bottoms as your belly pushed against him.

With bright eyes, you looked up at him and bit your lip. Water droplets fell from his sunglasses where they were perched on the end of your nose and splashed against your tits. You glanced to your left and right, but there was nobody else in the water near the two of you. Saliva pooled on Bradley's tongue as his gaze followed your fingers to your bikini top, and you slowly pulled at the red triangles until he was staring longingly at your pert nipples as the salty water dripped onto your chest.

"That's more like it," he grunted, running his thumb along your wet skin and leaning down to kiss you there before you covered yourself up again. You always got his heart pumping harder, but right now, everything felt perfect. Your blood pressure seemed to be under control, and the baby was healthy. He was tired, but you were clearly having a great time.

The sky was growing darker now as the sun had set, and the purple and pink swirls mixed with blue giving everything a dreamy feel. You held onto him in the water, your head coming to rest against his shoulder so your lips brushed along his collarbone when you spoke.

"I love it here."

"In Loreto?" he asked, kissing your forehead. "We can always come back again when Rosie is older. The two of you can take a hot sauce class together."

You made a soft sound and said, "Yeah, I like it in Loreto, but I was talking about being snuggled up in your arms."

He felt soft inside as he whispered, "I love you." Then he closed his eyes, memorizing the feel of your pregnant body against his and the sound of your even breathing. 

Just when he didn't think the moment could possibly get any better, somehow it did. You kissed his chest and said, "I was thinking about middle names and trying to decide what sounds good with Rose." You paused and tipped your head back, so he opened his eyes, and you asked, "What about Carole?"

Rose Carole Bradshaw. The words swirled around in his mind, and he knew that was without a doubt his daughter's name. She would always get to carry a piece of the grandmother she would never get to meet. The grandmother who would have loved her beyond measure. 

It was hard to breathe as a happiness he'd never felt before filled his chest. All he could do was nod and whisper, "That's absolutely perfect."

-----------------------------

Kink: unlocked. I can't wait to see Bradley in action after Rosie arrives. Just a few more chapters without the little Nugget! Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 13

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@chassy21

@solacestyles

@daisyhollyxox

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@shanimallina87

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@xoxabs88xox

@thedroneranger

@cherrycola27

@fanboyswhore9

@xomrsalliej4787xo

@desert-fern

@horseslovers2016

@mattyskies

@hookslove1592

@blahehblah

@sadpetalsstuff

@local-spidey

@schoollover

@lex-winchester

@magicalmorg

@nicole01-23

@jessicab1991

@happyrebelruins

@samsgoddess

@ughthisisntright

@bellaireland1981

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@mygyn

@yuckosworld

@daggerspare-standingby

@nessjo

@trickphotography2

@lyn-js

@marve2014

@furiousladyking

[shoyudon]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐒 .ᐟ

your pregnancy cravings are a bit . . . over the top.

starring. gojo satoru, choso kamo, nanami kento x fem! reader

heads up. none, just jjk men being baffled at your pregnancy cravings

note. i just have a thing for jjk men being dads, idk maybe it's how jjk should've ended :/

──────〃★ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

"'m sorry baby, can you try to say that again — slower this time," he shakes his head, eyes widening the slightest bit at what he had just heard.

you look at him, dead in his eyes and muttered out a, "i want chicken noodle chocolate milk soup," gojo had to cock his head to the side at your unbearable request — he knew it was in the months where the cravings would get a little out of the box, but chicken noodle soup with chocolate milk as the soup?

he parted his lips to speak, but nothing came out so he pursed his lips shut again. the second time he tried speaking, the only sound that came out was a soft breath. you furrowed your brows at his reaction, hormones flaring as you took a bit of offense at his reaction.

gojo raised up his brows, realizing how the corner of your lips tugged down deeper at the passing second. immediately he approached you on the couch. getting on his knees to your eye level in front of you, "no, no baby, i didn't mean to upset you, 'm just a little surprised, that's it. i'll get you a bowl, 'kay?"

"you don't love me anymore?" you questioned him dramatically, and gojo almost chuckled knowing that this was part of the pregnancy journey — but seeing how serious you were, he didn't dare to even break into a small smile.

he shakes his head, "of course i love you, baby. more than anything, you know?" you narrowed your eyes at him as he tugs your hair behind your ear, "'m going to get you that chicken noodle soup, okay?"

finally, you nod your head at him, mumbling out a small and meek, "thank you, baby."

──────〃★ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

"what?" he asks in shock. he gently brought himself up into a sitting position — blinking his eyes before staring deeply into yours, "tuna and . . . blueberry jam?"

"'ts what the baby wants," you shrug cheerfully, feeling no shame in your undeniably weird craving combination, "tuna sashimi and blueberry jam," just at the thought of it, your mouth visibly watered.

on the other hand, choso could only gape silently at your statement, "the baby? why does the baby want tuna and blueberry jam? the baby's being weird. don't you think we should get them checked up? might be something wrong," choso concludes innocently, his brows furrowed as he scoots over to you, his hand rubbing the small bump on your stomach.

his innocence gnawed a chuckle from your throat, choso's mind in a turmoil as you prompted to laugh at his state of wariness and confusion, "cho, 'ts normal 'ts called pregnancy cravings — it happens a lot."

upon hearing your reassurance, his shoulders relaxed a bit, "pregnancy cravings . . ? i should get you tuna and blueberry jam then, the baby wants it."

you nodded vigorously, "can i come with you to the store? i wanna grab some snacks too," choso nodded mutely, intertwining his fingers with yours before raising your hand to his lips.

"mhm, i'd like both of your company," he muffles out into your skin.

──────〃★ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

"good morning, darling," nanami rubbed his eyes — a little confused to why you were up earlier than usual, with a pink colored bunny motive apron on, standing right by the kitchen stove with your face all scrunched up in apparent frustration, "why are you up so early?"

you didn't answer him, the vivid crackling coming from the hot pan in front of you earning every ounce of your attention. nanami tries to put two-by-two, his eyes roaming around the kitchen area.

a box of half-filled eggs. a plate of sunny side up eggs on a plate. cooking oil. peanut butter.

wait, peanut butter? he silently approaches you, wrapping an arm around your waist carefully — making sure he wasn't applying too much force on your bump nor you, "what are you craving?" he questions, his free hand turning off the stove.

finally, you look up at him, "jus' runny sunny side up eggs with peanut butter. but i couldn't get the yolk to run like i want it to," you softly whine at him.

he chuckles, kissing the back of your head, "i'll make it for you, and you," he states, "are going back to bed until then."

nanami wasted no time in slowly guiding you back towards your shared bedroom, tucking you in the bed — making you as comfortable as you could be. his slender fingers tangled in your hair as he tries to lull you back to sleep, "i'll wake you when it's ready," he whispers softly, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"thank you, ken."

he shakes his head, "it's my duty."

© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !

[quinnhills]

Hey y’all, life is a journey. Gender is a construct. And I’ve been feeling this for a few months, but I’m a she/her woman. I will always have unwavering love and support for my non-binary siblings, but they/them does not feel like me.

I don’t need anyone to edit their past posts or police folks who still use it. Because it doesn’t hurt me to be called they/them. It just doesn’t fit.

My perception of myself is constantly growing and shifting, but I feel I am getting much closer each day to my core quinntessence.

Yesterday I was getting my hormone levels checked in a clinic, and my nurse exclaimed, “Quinn Hills! That’s a cool name.”

You know what? It is. I’m really proud of who I am and who I’m becoming.

Take care of yourself and love yourself. I’m trying to.

Listen to yourself and let yourself grow.

This isn’t even my final form.

[ashleyrowanthewriter]

The Sign for Gold Is Ugly - Chapter 1

Next

*************

It began as a routine blood test. Goldie was impatiently rocking in her chair and flapping her tail that was beginning to grow while Dr. Erian was reading her card. From time to time he was glancing at his patient only to return to reading the card. Finally he put it down on his desk.

“I have some good news and some bad news,” said Dr. Erian.

“Some good news? What about?” asked Goldie.

“The good news is that your levels of calcitonin have finally reached the level that allows you to be legally deemed a merfolk,” said Dr. Erian.

Hearing the diagnosis Goldie became ecstatic. She threw her hands in the air and squealed through a toothy grin.

“That’s so great!” Goldie said. “What do I need to sign?”

“Not so fast,” said Dr. Erian. “I know how exciting that might sound, but you still have some paperwork not done.”

Goldie stopped her excited rocking and looked at Dr. Erian.

“What do you mean paperwork?” Goldie was shocked. “I have everything covered! Your psychiatric approval, the two year life test and even the single status certificate! And you just said that I have perfect hormone levels! What else would I need?”

“Well, you seem to have forgotten about the Mermaid Sign Language certificate, didn’t you?” said Dr. Erian

Goldie looked as if she heard about it for the first time.

“That’s a requirement?” asked Goldie. “Last time I checked it was just advice!”

“Times change quickly when you do animal HRT,” said Dr. Erian.

“How quickly are we speaking exactly?”

“I guess 30 months is a long time, isn’t it? From the beginning of it all to now.”

“But don’t they say that law doesn’t work backwards?”

“It doesn't. You haven’t started your legal procedure so you still don’t transition using the old system.”

Goldie wanted to protest, but she ran out of arguments. She just crossed her hands and frowned. Dr. Erian looked for something inside the drawer of his desk.

“Try going to her,” Dr. Erian told Goldie. “My other patients say that they achieve great results with her.”

Saying that Dr. Erian pulled out a flyer from his desk. Goldie read it with curiosity. In the picture there was a human woman and a beautiful mermaid with a gorgeous lingcod tail. They were raising their right hands and spreading their fingers. The description read Dr. Rowan’s Merslan School - For transitioners and translators.

Goldie thought that maybe she could try. Not that she particularly trusted Erian’s claims of satisfied patients. She simply saw no better alternative.

It was Goldie’s first class at Dr. Rowan’s school. She looked around the classroom looking at all the fellow students. Some were early into their transition, some were in a similar stage to her and some already had to be using wheelchairs thanks to their progress. All of them gathered in that room in a common goal to learn that one peculiar skill that the law found mandatory for them. For a moment it gathered up some self esteem in Goldie. If so many people were trying to do it then for sure Goldie could do it.

The door opened and one more person went in. A tall woman holding a briefcase. She stood before the class, raised her right hand and spread her fingers. The class repeated her movements. Goldie was confused, but she made the sign as well. She was waiting for the woman to sit down with the rest of the class, but then she started speaking.

“Alright, good morning, class! It is delightful to see you all. I am Dr. Rowan, but you might already know that. I am excited about teaching you and I hope you’re excited about learning with me.”

Goldie couldn’t believe what she heard. She took out the flyer from Dr. Erian, looking at it and at her teacher. There was no doubt. It was the human from the picture. It was strange for Goldie. She was almost sure that the teacher should be some kind of mermaid. Wasn’t there a mermaid on the flyer? Was that just a student? But it was only natural to think otherwise. Assumptions are indeed a powerful light that can blind its wielder.

The first lesson was feeling longer and longer and slower and slower. As much as she wanted to, she understood very little of whatever Dr. Rowan tried to teach her class. Goldie wanted the class to end. She wanted to once again understand what her senses were registering. Sure, she caught the meaning of maybe five signs, but she completely missed about fifteen others.

Near the end of the lesson Dr. Rowan finally said something that Goldie could understand.

“Now, one more thing before we finish. As you might have guessed, the names used in the Mermaid Language are not names you may be familiar with from English.After all there is no real way of communicating them through its signs. Instead you can choose any sign you’d like to!”

Finally Goldie caught something and found it cool.

“So I want you to think about whatever word you’d like to use as your name and tell me next week,” said Dr. Rowan. “I’ll show you how to show it. And… That’s all for today!”

Of course Goldie already knew what sign she wanted to use. So while her classmates were leaving the class she instead went to Dr. Rowan.

“Excuse me, what if I already have a word I want to use?” asked Goldie.

Dr. Rowan smiled. “I’ll show you then. What should it be?”

“Gold,” said Goldie. “Well… It might have been kind of obvious,” she added and chuckled.

“Alright, it’s easy. Look,” said Dr. Rowan.

The teacher closed her left eye and brought her right hand to her right eye. She then brought her thumb, index and middle finger together.

“Like this,” said Dr. Rowan.

Goldie mimicked her movements. She found the sign disappointing. She kind of hoped it would be more beautiful.

In her house Goldie was practising her name in front of a mirror. Or something along the lines. She had very mixed feelings about it. Her sister, Kayla, who just came to visit Goldie, noticed her lost in the mirror.

“Did something happen?” asked Kayla.

“The sign for gold is ugly,” said Goldie, still lost in her practice.

Kayla remembered that Goldie told her about trying to learn the Mermaid language. It was the first time she saw her sister practising and she saw that she did not have a fun time.

“Trouble learning?” Kayla asked.

“No kidding,” said Goldie. “Once I remember some sign I forget it immediately.”

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna be great at it someday,” said Kayla.

“It would be nice,” said Goldie. “But I guess this is my hell.”

Goldie returned to training signs. Kayla stood behind her and looked at Goldie’s reflection. She was still attempting to practise.

Kayla moved her sight to her own reflection. She was on her way to transition into a bat, but she didn’t know how far she would want to push her transition. She already had a lot of bat traits that she loved. Cute fur, wings beginning to sprout, sensitive ears… Kayla focused on her ears. They were really sensitive. In loud environments they were really hurting her. She sometimes needed to wear silencers.

And maybe that was the way to give Goldie some motivation and faith…

“You know…,” Kayla said. “Sometimes I do wish to be able to turn my hearing off.”

“Don’t you have silencers?” asked Goldie.

“Yes, but… I can’t talk if I can’t hear,” said Kayla. “I would like to learn some sign language. Maybe you could teach me?”

At first Goldie thought that she could help Kayla a bit. After all, who was she not to help her own sister? But then she noticed the possible hidden intentions.

“Is that supposed to make me want to study harder?” said Goldie.

“Maybe,” said Kayla.

Goldie sighed and laughed.

“Alright, sis!” Goldie said. “I can’t promise anything, but whatever I get I’ll try to teach you.”

“Thank you!” said Kayla. “Maybe you’ll manage to actually pick stuff up easier!”

“Yeah,” said Goldie. “Let’s hope so.”

*************

Yup, I am writing a fanfic of the Furry HRT universe. I wanted to come back to the idea. And write a story about aspiring mermaids learning sign language. As you might have guessed the main character is going to be @welldrawnfish. Also @kaylasartwork is going to be featured. I hope they like it!

EDIT: Thought I actually should link to Goldie's fish story and Kayla's bat story. Whoopsies...

[genderqueerdykes]

Testosterone HRT Overview, Guide & Information for All People Seeking It

Hello, we're a genderqueer person who's been taking testosterone HRT since 2015. I've also worked in a pharmacy and we've seen a lot of the roadblocks that comes with people trying to start HRT. Nobody really explains how difficult it can be, even when you get your prescription. Because testosterone is a controlled substance in many places, it creates hurdles. There can be a lot going on, and some folks become very disheartened if their T isn't covered by insurance. i get that. We wanted to create a relatively easy to digest and succinct post detailing some common hurdles people have to face on the doctor/prescriber and insurance level, as well as after getting their hormones. *please note that a lot of this information is United States centric as that's where i live, i can't give information for a country i've never lived in, unfortunately.*

The estrogen HRT version of this post is here!

Doctors, Insurance & Getting Your Prescription

If your primary care provider is already familiar and comfortable with prescribing HRT, you can go through them, find an informed consent clinic, or seek an endocrinologist or gender affirming care specialist. Planned Parenthood is a good option for many people. If you don't have insurance, check to see if your area offers medicaid or other low income insurance plans, T can get pricey in some areas, especially for topical. if you can't access insurance please look into services like GoodRx that offer coupons and discounted rates for prescriptions.

Here is a list of informed consent clinics in the US for HRT.

Your provider will ask you some questions about your experience with gender, any dysphoria, why you want to seek medical transition, if you'd like to seek surgeries, assess your mental health, and then screen you for potential health problems or roadblocks. Your liver enzymes will be screened, as will your hormone levels, blood pressure, and some other things. Make sure your doctor knows to note that you are a transgender patient so that your blood tests are not discarded because your gender says "F" instead of "M" on the paperwork.

In some areas it is required to seek treatment with a therapist who specializes in transgender care to make sure this avenue is right for you. Not everywhere requires this step.

Make sure you talk to whoever is prescribing the testosterone to you about insurance, and if they are aware that testosterone is a controlled substance. A controlled substance is a substance that has been restricted by your country's government or governing medical organization and has to be monitored carefully. You need what's called a "prior authorization" from your doctor in order to get your insurance to give you your hormones in most states. Talk to your doctor and pharmacy about prior authorizations for your testosterone and syringes if you need them.

Currently, the only forms of testosterone available for masculinizing HRT are testosterone cypionate (injectable), topical gel, and patches. Topical forms are usually applied daily, injections can be done once or twice a week, or even more or less frequently if a person needs it. There is no pill option available for masculinizing HRT currently.

Do NOT become disheartened if you do not see the effects you want to see right away. It can take several years for the full effects of certain aspects of medical transition to show themselves. Stay patient, talk with your provider, talk to other trans people!

Stay patient, Stay positive!

HRT and Administering Testosterone

When you get a prescription, how things go will depend on if you get your doses administered at the clinic, or if you choose to do them at home. If you are not comfortable self administering, ask if they will at the clinic. many places offer this service.

if you choose to administer at home, if you are using injectable T, note that pharmacies may give you the wrong gauges of needles because they don't often give out needles for HRT. You need two different sizes- a thicker, longer needle for drawing from the vial, as testosterone cypionate is thick. You will generally be given large 18g needle for drawing and a small 22 or 23g needle for injecting. Many people have preferences for different gauges so ymmv. Depending on if you are injecting intramuscularly or subcutaneously the gauge of the needle with vary. Sanitize your injection site and your hands, never using the same needle tips twice for any reason. Never use needles that have touched another surface, and get a sharps container.

Make sure you are injecting in different spots every time you inject. you do not want to inject into the same patches of skin every time, as this can cause tissue damage, tissue death (necrosis), and severe scarring after long periods of time of having to heal but being interrupted over and over again. inject into slightly different spots every time to make sure your skin and muscle tissue can heal.

Here is a guide on safely injecting your own testosterone, including steps on how to prepare your skin for the injection, hold the vial while drawing, change needles, and more.

Another guide for hormone injections.

Make sure to check with your provider to see what type of injection you are meant to do, many do intramuscular injections, but many opt for subcutaneous (just below the skin) injections because they are less painful and require less frequent injections.

If you receive topical testosterone like androgel or other alcohol based testosterone gels, make sure you read the informational packet that comes with it to ensure you are administering it in the correct areas- your exact formulation will need to be applied in a certain area, if you do not have the guide or packet that came with it, please read this page to figure out where you need to apply it. if your topical T isn't working you may be applying it in the wrong place.

When applying topical T, make sure you clean the skin before putting it on, and do not shower or go swimming for 2 - 5 hours after application. make sure you cover the skin with some kind of clothing. You want to make sure it doesn't rub off on other people, as other people can absorb it as well by touching you. Do not ever have someone else apply topical testosterone for you, even if they are also trans, as this can mess with their levels in a bad way.

After starting T you may have to adjust your dose over time to achieve desired effects. if so, you will start on a starter dose and then you can move up to higher doses as your body adjusts. This process is called titration.

No matter HOW tempting it is, NEVER TAKE MORE T THAN YOU ARE PRESCRIBED! It is processed through your liver, which can completely wreck it if you take more than it can handle. Slow and steady wins the race with HRT. If you take too much T at once, your body can also aromatize it, meaning your body will convert it and encourage the production of further estradiol, which will provide unwanted effects. Do not increase your dose without your doctor's advice or knowledge, and do not go any faster than advised.

Effects of Testosterone HRT

Growth and thickening of facial and body hair begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts and the full effect happens within 3 - 5 years.

Menstruation (periods) stop. This occurs around 2 - 6 months within starting treatment, and is one of the most desired effects.

Voice deepens. The vocal cords thicken, which can cause uncomfortable sensations in the throat for a time, such as a scratchy feeling, dryness, tightness, pressure, and a 'sore' throat that isn't sore in an illness related way. This begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts, and the full effect happens in 1 - 2 years.

Body fat redistribution begins 3 - 6 months after treatment starts and the full effect happens within 3 - 5 years.

Growth or enlargement of Adam's apple.

Clitoris grows larger, and vaginal lining can thin and become drier. Some experience vaginal atrophy and/or painful levels of dryness, while some maintain a healthy level of vaginal fluids without problem. This begins 3 - 12 months after treatment starts, and the full effect is usually seen within 1 - 2 years, though some experience growth over a long period of time if their dose is low.

Change in body odor and increased sweating occurs within 1 - 3 months of starting treatment.

Muscle mass and strength increase, this will begin within 6 - 12 months and the full effect will be seen within 2 - 5 years.

Possible libido increase, though some report no changes or even the inverse.

Potential but not guaranteed balding or receding hairline, which is treatable, and not seen in everyone.

Potential increase in energy in general, some report an almost antidepressant like effect.

Possible increase in red blood cell production leading to high blood pressure, which is treatable via medications and donating red blood cells when appropriate and safe.

There is not really a guide book to masculinizing HRT and medical transition, most of the information there is is passed along between each of us. We will continue to edit this post as we think of more important information.

[intersex-support]

Intersex Support FAQ

1. What is intersex?

Intersex is an umbrella term that describes people who have variations in sex characteristics that fall outside of the sex binary. This includes variations in genitals, internal reproductive organs like testes and ovaries, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and/or the way that your body produces or responds to hormones. Some examples of intersex variations include AIS, CAH, PCOS, Klinefelters, hypospadias, and more. 

The three main factors that define intersex variations are: 

Variation in sex characteristics 

The variation falls outside of the sex binary and is different from what is considered typical “male” or “female” development. These variations in traits might often be stigmatized and discriminated against for being outside of the sex binary.

This variation is either present from birth or develops spontaneously later in life. It is not caused by transitioning or by something temporary like a medication side effect, tumor, or other medical diagnosis. 

(This definition is inspired by InterACT).

2. Does ____ count as intersex? 

There are around 40 different intersex variations that are currently known. InterACT”s intersex variation glossary lists out those intersex variations and gives a brief description of each one.

However, we know that isn’t a complete list. People have intersex variations that haven’t been medically researched yet, or might have a rare variation that the intersex community isn’t aware of yet. 

There are also some variations that might seem on the border between perisex and intersex. Some types of hormonal or reproductive diagnoses might not have a clear answer on whether they’re intersex or not. 

Ultimately,  intersex is a social/political identity rather than a strictly medical one. Increased research and changing social attitudes can cause the definition of intersex to expand over time. Regardless of whether someone has a confirmed intersex variation or an “intersex adjacent” diagnosis, if intersex resources are helpful to you, we hope that you continue to use them and act in solidarity with the intersex community. 

On this blog, we do include PCOS with hyperandrogenism as part of the intersex community. Check out our PCOS tag for more posts about our reasoning, and PCOS specific resources.

3. Am I intersex?

We cannot diagnose you with an intersex variation over the internet. We can share resources such as the intersex variations glossary, share tips for navigating the medical system, and share information on other non-clinical signs of being intersex. 

Some questions to ask yourself that can help you start the process of intersex discovery:

What do my sex traits (genitalia, secondary sex characteristics, hormone levels, etc) look like? Does this seem like it lines up with the “typical” descriptions of those sex traits? 

Do I have any information about my birth? Were there any complications? Did doctors do extra testing at birth? Did doctors take me away from my parents for long periods of time? Did it take me longer to have my sex assigned at birth?

What was puberty like for me? Did I have early or late puberty? Did I have to go on hormones to start puberty? Did I have any variations in puberty, such as unexpected breast growth, irregular periods, or other changes? Did I go through puberty at all?

If you’ve tried to have children, are you infertile or struggling with fertility?

Did I have any unexplained surgeries or medical procedures as a child? Was I ever told I had to have organs removed and was told it was because of a cancer risk? Did I have to be on specific medications or hormones throughout my childhood? Did I have to go see a doctor more frequently? Did I go to an endocrinologist or pediatric urologist as a child? 

Do I have surgery scars or scar tissue? Do I have more frequent UTIs than typical?

Do I have access to my medical records? Is there records of hormone panels, ultrasounds, physical exams, surgeries, or other medical procedures? 

This kind of information can help you start to piece together if you think you might have an intersex variation, or if you think your intersex variation was hidden from you. 

If you’re sending in an ask trying to figure out if your symptoms line up with a specific intersex variation, please share as much information as you’re comfortable with so that we can answer with the most helpful resources. 

4. Can I self diagnose as intersex? 

It’s complicated! Intersex is different from other LGBTQIA identities, in that it’s not only about self determination, but also about our embodied experience in a very specific way. In order to be intersex, you have to have an intersex variation. And there are many intersex variations that can only be confirmed through medical testing, so it’s not something that is easy to self-diagnose.

However, we recognize that the medical system is expensive, discriminatory, and often actively hides information about people’s intersex variations from them. (it wasn’t even until 2006 that the AAP stopped recommending that doctors lie to their patients about intersex status, so many intersex adults were born before that policy change!) Considering all that we know about intersex oppression, curative violence, and medical abuse, it feels incredibly cruel to tell people that they have to force themself through that system in order to seek answers. 

So, we understand that there are ways of finding out that you are intersex without having a specific, confirmed, medical diagnosis. Many of us might find out that we’re intersex because we realize that our genitalia visibly looks different, and we can tell that we are intersex, even if we don’t know our specific diagnosis. Others might find out that we’re intersex because of strange discrepancies in our medical record. We might find out through discovering surgery scars on our body. We might go through puberty and realize that we’re developing in an atypical way to our peers. We might do a lot of research into intersex variations and have a pretty good guess into what variation lines up with our experiences. We might have some test results that help us understand we have intersex traits, even if we don’t know our specific diagnosis.  

Before self diagnosing, we think it’s important to do thorough research into intersex variations, so that you truly understand what intersex means, what intersex variations exist, and understand how that information applies to yourself. It’s also important to be considerate of how we interact in community spaces, and respect other intersex people's boundaries as you engage in a questioning or diagnosis process. 

5.  Are intersex people trans?

Some intersex people are trans, and some aren’t. Most intersex people are still assigned a gender at birth, and many intersex people who are raised as one gender and then later identify as another gender identify with the label trans. Intersex people can be cis or trans just like any other group of people. 

Many intersex people have complicated relationships with gender, and don’t feel like labels like cis or trans really fit their experiences. For this reason, terms like intergender and ipsogender were coined.

6. Are intersex people LGBTQIA?

It’s complicated! The “I” in LGBTQIA stands for intersex. Intersex history is intertwined with other parts of queer history. For example, the very first protest for intersex people in the United States was organized by Hermaphrodites with Attitude and Transexual Menace. There are intersex inclusive versions of community pride flags. Many intersex people view their intersex identity as a queer identity. Intersex oppression overlaps in many ways with homophobia and transphobia. 

However, not all intersex people think that intersex should be included in the LGBTQIA community. Sometimes this is for bigoted reasons, with intersex radfems who use this stance as a way to be transphobic. But there are also intersex people who think that the “I” should only be included in the acronym when intersex people are actually meaningfully being included in queer spaces and resources. Many of us feel frustrated when people put “LGBTQIA” on a resource but then don’t actually have any intersex specific information in those resources. 

In general, this is an ongoing intracommunity discussion where we don’t have a consensus. 

7. Are intersex people disabled? 

It’s complicated! Intersex is an umbrella term for many different experiences, and there is not one universal intersex experience. Some intersex people identify as disabled. Some intersex people do not.

Many intersex variations do cause disabling impacts in our bodies and lives. Some intersex variations are comorbid with other health conditions. Other intersex people become disabled because of violent normalizing interventions we’ve survived, such as forced surgery or other types of medical abuse. 

Intersex people are also impacted by many of the same structures of oppression that harm disabled people. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by ableism. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by pathologization. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by curative violence. 

In the book Cripping Intersex, Celeste Orr explores all these concepts and creates something called “intersex is/and/as/with disability,” which is a model to think about all these different and sometimes conflicting relationships with disability. Some intersex people might identify directly as disabled. Others might sometimes think about the way that intersex is treated as a disability. Other intersex people might think about intersex and disability as a way to have solidarity. All of these relationships with disability are meaningful parts of the intersex community. 

8. What is intersex oppression/intersexism/interphobia/compulsory dyadism? 

Intersex people face a lot of oppression in many ways in society. At the core, intersex oppression relies on the idea that the only acceptable sex traits are sex traits that fit into the sex binary. Intersex oppression relies on mythical ideas of the “ideal male or female” body, where someone's chromosomes perfectly line up with their genitalia and internal reproductive organs, with perfectly normal hormone levels and perfect secondary sex characteristics that don’t have any variation. When people don’t fit into that “perfect” sex binary, they are seen as less valuable, abnormal, and threatening. There is then a societal pressure to eradicate any traits and people that fall outside of the sex binary, which causes a lot of targeted discrimination of intersex people. This form of oppression is called “compulsory dyadism,” and was coined by Celeste Orr. 

Compulsory dyadism is also rooted in, overlaps with, and is the foundation for many other types of oppression. For example, ableism is another form of oppression that creates ways of harming people whose bodies and minds are labeled as less valuable for societally constructed reasons. Check out Talila Lewis’s definition of ableism for more information. Another example is how racialized people are targeted by sex testing policies in sports--both intersex and perisex women of color are consistently targeted by sex testing policies designed to exclude intersex people from sports. Another example is that homophobia and transphobia contribute to why intersex bodies are seen as threats that need to be eradicated--society views existing with intersex sex traits as a slippery slope to growing up as a gay or trans adult. Compulsory dyadism is also at the root of a lot of transphobic rhetoric about how transitioning “ruins” people’s bodies. All these forms of oppression are connected. 

There are a lot of ways that compulsory dyadism causes intersex people to be targeted and discriminated against. A huge issue is nonconsensual surgeries at birth, that attempt to “normalize” ambiguous genitalia, remove intersex people’s gonads, and otherwise alter genitalia or internal structures. These surgeries are often referred to as intersex genital mutilation, or IGM. These surgeries do not have any medical necessity, but doctors lobby to continue to be allowed to perform them anyway. These surgeries can sterilize intersex people, cause lifelong trauma, and also cause many disabling medical complications. Alongside IGM, intersex people also face a lot of different types of medical abuse. 

Besides curative violence and medical abuse, intersex people also face discrimination in our schools, jobs, and public places. We face legal discrimination in changing our names and sex markers. We face discrimination from institutions like CPS, which often target parents, especially people of color, that refuse to put their children through intersex genital mutilation. Many intersex people survive targeted sexual violence. We have a widespread lack of resources, visibility, and representation. Many people still have prejudiced ideas about intersex people and call us slurs. These are just a few examples of the many way that interphobia/intersexism show up in our lives. 

9. What is intersex justice? 

Intersex justice is a framework created by intersex activists through the Intersex Justice Project as a way to fight for intersex liberation. 

“Intersex justice is a decolonizing framework that affirms the labor of intersex people of color fighting for change across social justice movements. By definition, intersex justice affirms bodily integrity and bodily autonomy as the practice of liberation. Intersex justice is intrinsically tied to justice movements that center race, ability, gender identity & expression, migrant status, and access to sexual & reproductive healthcare. Intersex justice articulates a commitment to these movements as central to its intersectional analysis and praxis. Intersex justice acknowledges the trauma caused by medically unnecessary and nonconsensual cosmetic genital surgeries and addresses the culture of shame, silence and stigma surrounding intersex variations that perpetuate further harm.

The marginalization of intersex people is rooted in colonization and white supremacy. Colonization created a taxonomy of human bodies that privileged typical white male and female bodies, prescribing a gender binary that would ultimately harm atypical black and indigenous bodies. As part of a liberation movement, intersex activists challenge not only the medical establishment, which is often the initial site of harm, but also governments, institutions, legal structures, and sociocultural norms that exclude intersex people. Intersex people should be allowed complete and uninhibited access to obtaining identity documents, exercising their birth and adoption rights, receiving unbiased healthcare, and securing education and employment opportunities that are free from harm and harassment.” (Source: Dr. Mel Michelle Lewis through the Intersex Justice Project.)

There are seven principles to intersex justice: 

Informed consent

Reparations

Legal protections

Accountability

Language

Children's rights

Patient-centered healthcare

10. What is intergender? 

Intergender is a gender identity for use by intersex people only. It doesn’t have one specific definition-it is used by intersex people to mean a whole variety of things. It’s used to describe the unique ways our intersex experience intersects with and influences our gender.  Some people use it as a modifying term, such as calling themselves an intergender man or woman, as a way to explain the way being intersex affects their identity. Other people identify solely as intergender, and have that be their whole gender. 

11. What is dyadic/perisex/endosex? 

All are words that mean “not intersex.” Different groups will have different preferences on which one they like to use. 

12. Is hermaphrodite an offensive term? 

Yes. It is an incredibly offensive slur that perisex people should never say. Many intersex people have a very painful history with the slur. Some of us reclaim the term, which can be an important act of healing and celebration for us.

12. Can perisex people follow? 

Feel free, but understand that questions by intersex people are prioritized! Anyone is welcome to follow.

13. I’m writing a character who’s intersex…

Check out this post:  https://trans-axolotl.tumblr.com/post/188153640308/intersex-representation. If you’re writing about intersex people for a paid project, you should pay an intersex person to act as a sensitivity reader before publishing. 

Check out our Resources and Intersex Organizations pages as well!

[i-cant-sing]

cursed thought that came to mind: yknow how in yandere overhaul fics, they always talk about how he'd prioritise your health over everything? i mean, he's taking blood samples weekly, doing clinical examinations to find any "abnormality", keeping tabs on ur vitals, etc. he probably tests ur hormone levels, maybe even check ur scalp for- anything really- lice, cysts, etc.

ofc, this means he'll be closely monitoring your diet too right? gotta make sure u are getting all the nutrients and stuff. probably starts u on a healthy, high fibre diet too. and that got me thinking....

there's obviously cameras in ur room right? he's watching u 24/7, u know that. what u dont know is... well those are not just normal cameras, they're... infrared cameras.

why does he have these thermal cameras? probably wanted to know if ur body temperature is normal or varying too much. and these cameras detect different zones of heat in the body.

but u know what else emits heat and shows up on the cameras?

farts.

and since overhaul has u on this good healthy diet, probably even makes u exercise, well- ur gut has never been healthier, which means you pass intestinal gases pretty regularly. and the thing is, u dont get to go to the toilet whenever u feel the need to go-no, no. theres a schedule for bathroom and if u abuse it by going in to release ur farts, you'd probably make him worry about u having a UTI or something. its not like he can make u stop. why would he, when it is a perfectly normal human function and he should NOT feel disgusted by it- what do u mean why is he wearing a hazmat suit?

see now, this is his next project. once he's done making those quirk cancelling bullets, then its time for flatulence cancelling bullets.

the things u do for love <3

[lunajay33]

Crave🩶

Summary: You always thought your neighbour was handsome, you grew close over the years, he’d always help when you’d have troubles but there was one thing holding you back, your toxic boyfriend

Pairing: Neighbour Negan x f!reader

Content: Some 18+, age gap, toxic boyfriend

•Masterlist•

When I was 15 the house next door went up for sale and the most ethereal man moved in, I’d see him now the lawn or see him sit on his porch and light up a cigarette and it made me realize that these urges I had weren’t just teens hormones I needed that man on another level but I could never do anything obviously I was just a stupid teen with a fixation on a man who’s way out of my league, but that didn’t stop me from fantasizing over the years, when he’d invite me and my parents over for a barbecue or when he’d come over to watch the game with my father

It also didn’t help that our room windows were right across from eachothers, i’d catch glimpses of him shirtless and it just heightened my cravings but then after graduation I got a job at a motorcycle shop in town thanks to my dad and that’s how I met my boyfriend, I was hesitant at first due to my feeling for Negan but I tried to move on, he was really sweet at first but after a few months he turned cruel, dropping by my house late at night trying to get in through my window drunk saying he was lonely and wanted me to distract him, I always pushed him away and he only got mad once he got so mad he broke my window waking Negan and I had to make up an excuse he probably knew was a lie, I tried to break up so many times but he never let me and always threatened me with something

I’m 22 now and am still working at the garage, I love it sometimes Negan would stop by with his bike and I swear he would flirt with me, telling me how good I look working on the bikes, always offering to bring me for a ride, everytime I saw him scheduled in I’d get all excited just like now

I heard him bike rumbling out front and the door ringed and there he stood, tall and as sexy as ever, he only got better with age, he leaned against the counter and smirked as he took a red lollipop from the jar for customers and smirked at me as he licked it immediately flustering me

“Hey gorgeous you ready for me?”

“Oh um yeah! I’ll open the garage and you can bring it on in” I could feel my checks heat up at his intense gaze, it made me feel bad for looking at him like that since I have a boyfriend but he was an ass so what’s a little fantasizing going to hurt

He pulled up into the garage and pulled a chair up next to me, he always liked to watch me work

“So you still with John?” He asked as he sucked on the lollipop

“Yeah sadly” I accidentally let slip

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“I umm nothing forget I said that”

“You know you can’t lie to me sweetheart, so what is it”

“Fine…..I don’t want to be with him I never really wanted to, sure he was nice…..at first but”

“But?” I looked at him hesitant but he had a way to get things out of me especially secrets

“Remember that night when my window broke?”

“Yeah scared the shit outta me”

“He got drunk and tried to get into my room, I said no and he got mad, he always gets mad and broke my window…….i don’t want to be with him anymore but he won’t let me leave” I look back at him and see the anger

“I’ll kill that son of a bitch”

“Y/n what the hell is this?” Speak of the devil John was standing at the garage door and to say he was livid would be an understatement, I put my tools down and stood up nervously wiping my hands on my pants

“John nothings going on I’m just working on Negans bike”

“Yeah the Negan youre so obviously in love with” I glance at Negan and he’s just glaring at John

“John we’ve been over this, if you’re so jealous just let me leave why do you want to stay with me if you hate me” I sighed frustrated

“You’re mine even if I despise everything about you, you’re stuck with me when I need a good lay”

“You better watch your tongue boy” Negan groaned still kicked back in his chair

“And what are you gonna do about it old man” Negan stood and John was dwarfed by his shadow

“This is done, you ever come near her again, you ever touch her, you even look the side of her and you’ll regret you were ever born” this was the first time that I actual saw John cower little the scum he is, he stepped back from Negan and looked at me as he walked away

“You’re lucky you got your pet around” and then he was gone

I slump down against my chair with my head in my hands, feeling the burden lift off my shoulders but also the guilt, I hated that Negan had to get involved that I’ve been lying to myself for so long, that I can’t stop loving Negan no matter what I do

I don’t say anything and go back to work just wanting to get out of this awkward situation, I start working on the oil change when he speaks up

“You didn’t deserve that baby girl, you’re too good for him”

“Sorry you had to get in the middle of that”

“I’d do it again if it meant I’d get that asshole out of your life”

“Well I’ll just finish up your bike and you can be on your way” I say quickly finishing up and handing collecting his fee at the counter

“Well thanks for the work, what are you doing later?” He asked as he licked his lollipop again sending a tingle through me

“Umm I was just planning on reading a book maybe go to bed early”

“Well if you get bored honey you know where to find me” with that he took his keys and he was off on his bike

The clock struck 6 and it was time to head home, my parents were gone on a vacation so the house was all to me, I went to my room stripping of the days dirty clothes, taking a quick shower pulling on a clean pair of black lace panties with a matching bra

Looking in the mirror I felt satisfied with the new set I recently bought, I turn and look out my window my heart thumps when I see Negan looking over, for some reason I’m feeling extremely confident so I motion for him to come over as I bite my lip and he’s quick to leave his house, hearing him run up the stairs to my room stopping in the door way, his eyes rooming up and down my almost bare body

“Well are you just gonna stand there?” He approached our bodies mere inches from eachother, his body heat and the smell of his cologne enveloping me in a haze of desire

“Bit of a peeping tom there Mr.Smith” I say lacing my fingers into the hem on his pants pulling him closer

“Can’t help it when a pretty little thing is putting on a show seemingly just for me” his hands gripping my hips, this is everything I’ve fantasized about for years, the innocent flirting, the stolen glances, the wet dreams all leading to this very moment

The rest of the night he showered me with this feeling I never felt with John, like it was about my pleasure, everywhere he touched felt like fire was left in its wake, he’s everything I’ve wanted how he treats me like he worships the ground I walk on, like I’m the air he breaths, I just hope this wasn’t a one night thing

“That was amazing darlin” he says beside me, his arm wrapped around me hips as I’m laid on his chest

“Yeah, I hope this is not a one night stand kinda thing though right?”

“Of course not, I’m not gonna be stupid like that prick and let something….someone so amazing and beautiful slip through my fingers, you’re mine now baby”

My heart finally felt at ease like this was where I belonged, in the arms of the man next door

Sorry guys I haven’t been updating a lot and this was kinda trash, I’ve just been depressed lately and haven’t found my passion in writing right now

[chaosology]

benched

— Sam Kerr x reader

based off this request, i hope you like it :) masterlist, gimme feedback!!!

warnings: pregnancy? slight injury to reader

“She’s getting so big now,” Sam sighed, “What is it now, an avocado?”

Her fingers traced the swell of your stomach, lightly tapping the beat of whatever song was stuck in her head. You and Sam had gotten incredibly lucky, your first round of IVF being successful and resulting in one of the most beautiful celebrations of your life.

“Sami, they said it’s probably a girl, we can be sure!! What if he’s just sneaky?”

Sam just laughed, rolling over to pull herself out of bed. This game would determine if you made it into the quarter finals of the World Cup, and your entire team had been training rigorously for it. The pregnancy had remained under wraps until just after the first trimester, when Alanna had caught you puking in a bush for the third time that week.

The pregnancy had been a hot topic of discussion among you and the team officials. They weren’t allowed to decide when you would stop playing and take leave, but you and Sam had talked privately to decide that you’d rest when the World Cup ended. The rough nature of the game put you at a level of risk you and Sam weren’t willing to take; and if you were being honest, the break was well deserved. You’d given your all for so long and wanted nothing more than to lay in bed all day, watching Sam play and browsing whatever shit reality shows were currently trending.

The little bump just barely peaked through your jersey, a small reminder of your love always with you. Admittedly, the influx of hormones had knocked your emotions around a bit - much to Sam’s enjoyment. You cried at commercials and got snappy with her over small things like the smell of her coffee, and it was probably the most adorable thing she’d ever witnessed.

The stadium was alive with the thrill of the match. The girls battled fiercely, determination evident in every pass, every tackle, and every movement on the field. Your movements were quick and calculated, darting in between the opposition to pass the ball over to Hayley.

In an instant you were on the floor, too shocked to even comprehend what had happened. The medics were on you in an instant, Sam having let them know before the tournament that you were pregnant and took priority. The pain wasn’t unbearable, radiating down your back to your legs. The other girl that tumbled was checking on you, apologising over and over. It was a genuine mistake, and you didn’t hold any ill will towards her. Half time had just been called, and so the rest of the team had come make sure you were doing alright.

Sam was also by your side, triple checking you were ok. She was stressing beyond belief, not just for you but your baby.

“You need to come off, love.”

“Huh? No, I’m fine. I’m- We’re fine.”

“No, you’re done,” Sam’s voice was firm, laced with concern. “I know we talked about it, but we cant keep taking these risks. The way you went down… It could’ve been bad.”

You were starting to get annoyed now. Hormones were making you more fired up than normal, and you got defensive quick.

“No. No, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not made of glass-”

"No arguments," Sam's interruption was unwavering, her eyes locking onto yours with determined resolve. She knew you were annoyed, but she wasn’t willing to risk it anymore. She could also pull the Captain card if she wanted.

Your eyes were glazed over with a quick building fury. You were both too strong willed for your own good and it was quickly becoming tense.

“I’m your captain, Y/N. You’re done. I won't let anything happen to you or our baby."

You had only pushed her hand away and walked off, angry tears falling down your cheek as you sat down with a huff. Sam’s palm ran down her face as she sighed. She knew in her heart it was the right decision, but she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her chest when she saw you cry.

You had spent the rest of the game in a mood, your head resting in your hands as you glared at Sam. You knew it was irrational, you knew she cared - but right now, it was just an overwhelming flood of emotions. The win and cheers that erupted as the penalty kick went through fell on deaf ears as you shrunk in on yourself, now nauseated too. Perhaps the baby was angry too. Fair enough.

Sam’s eyes met yours as she jogged over, leaving the celebration in the centre of the pitch. Still moody, you looked down at the ground and kicked your feet, twirling your wedding ring as you did so.

“I know you’re mad. I’m sorry.” her hushed voice let out. You offered only a scoff in response, becoming more and more engrossed in the ring by the second.

“Hey, look at me”, she reached out, her hand grabbing your chin. “Look at me, Y/N.”

You let her move you like a doll, your chin tilted up as she hovered over you. If you weren’t still trying to be mad, you’d definitely tell her it was hot - time and place, unfortunately.

“I’m sorry I was strict. I’m your captain and your wife, I’m just looking out for you and our girl… I got scared, I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. But you’re my responsibility on this field, and I’ll make any move possible to stop you from getting hurt.”

You were embarrassed now. All she did was care while you were stubborn and proud.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled “I was so awful, I didn’t mean it. I know you’re doing what’s best”

“Hey, hey,” her fingers lightly tracing your jawline as your face “don’t say that about yourself. You’re making a person, Y/N. Our baby. Your body’s doing all these crazy things, it’s ok to let it get to you sometimes.”

Your eyes welled up again as she brought you in for a kiss. The stress left your body as you relaxed into her.

She stepped back, pulling you up to meet here eye. “Come celebrate with us, you got us here too.”

You giggled, letting her pull you back to the pitch with a skip in your step. The girls were hugging and crying, yelling all sorts of things at the top of their lungs. You and Sam made your way into the middle of the group, hand in hand with smiles as large as life.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you call baby a girl, Sam. You owe me fifty if it’s a boy!”