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spiffyspuffy · 4 years ago

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My Mystic Messenger Opinions

(That no one asked for)

Zen

Character: 8/10 I know a lot of people think Zens annoying but I find him endearing. One of the best things about this game is the complexity of the characters and I love that Zen’s cockiness is actually how he hides his insecurities. Even though he’s egotistical about himself, he’s never shallow with MC. He says multiple times that he doesn’t care about MC’s looks. He loves her for who she is and shows this in how he makes an effort to get to know her and be her cheerleader everyday. An underrated thing about Zen is how emotionally intelligent he is. He’s great at helping the RFA members when they need emotional support (Yoosung’s grief over loosing Rika, Jaehee crying from the stress of her job and MC’s shock at almost being kidnapped).

Route: 2/10 Zen is a great character and he deserves a better route. The false rape accusation plot is horrible and offensive. Also, his route functions as an introduction to the game’s plot, so it’s exposition heavy and lacks action. The creators said that the lesson of his route is that when our insecurities are handled in a healthy way, they can push us to be better people. I love this message and I wish it had been highlighted more in his route.

Romantic Potential: 9/10 Zen is arguably the most dateable of all the characters. He’s a bad boy without being sketchy. He’s protective without being possessive. He’s kind without being a pushover and he’s smart without being pretentious. His biggest drawbacks are his overconfidence and and how busy he is with working. There aren’t any glaring red flags.

~ More under the cut ~

Jeahee

Character: 7/10 I love this adorable theater nerd! She comes across as formal and stuffy at first, but reveals herself to be passionate and funny the more you get to know her. I gave her a lower score because she does have a strong personality that rubs me the wrong way sometimes (her jealousy of MC in Zen’s route, her lack of sympathy towards Jumin in her own route and her general rudeness towards Yoosung). She is the most mature of the RFA though, so her exasperation is warranted. Being mature and grounded also makes Jaehee the least complex Mysme character. I’ve got a lot of respect for her though!

Route: 5/10 Getting to engage in discourse about capitalism and the patriarchy? Amazing and hands down the best part of her route. It’s really inspiring to see Jaehee stand up for herself and choose to follow her dreams. I think it’s important for every young person to hear that they should have a positive work/life balance and demand that their employer supports that. Other highlights are Seven helping Jaehee by making the Power Point presentation for Jumin’s cat project, getting to fangirl with Jaehee over Zen and the creepy stalker plot. I thoroughly enjoy her route and the only reason the score is so low is because some of the other routes are seriously incredible.

Romantic Potential: 8/10 Jeahee doesn’t have any red flags either. I think she’s perfectly capable of having a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. The biggest issue standing in their way is Korea’s bias against lesbian relationships. As a fellow coffee lover and theater enthusiast though, I could definitely see myself or someone similar having a happy life with her, even if it might have to be in secret.

Yoosung

Character: 6/10 I can’t stand people who aren’t competent. Yoosung is a terrible cook, he barely cleans and he doesn’t pay attention to his studies. On top of that, 80% of his personality is that he’s a gamer AND he’s in love with his “dead” adopted cousin. Yuck. ~ But ~ I understand that he’s depressed and depression can seriously effect someone’s executive functioning. Taking all of those negatives away, we’re left with a young man who’s trying to his best to be taken seriously, which is something I can relate to. It’s nice to see imposter syndrome represented and I admire his loyalty to his friends.

Route: 8/10 This route is sooo good! Who can forget the night when the RFA starts being aggressively stalked by Minty Eye? And the pic Zen takes of a believer looking at him through his apartment window...chills. His route only gets better from there when he infiltrates Mint Eye with Seven. This is the first time we get to see the twins interact and damn, is it confusing. But in a good way!! The biggest drawback is that MC is stuck in Rika’s apartment and doesn’t play much of an active role in the story.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 Despite all the negatives I listed about Yoosung, I do think he’s capable of have a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. Yoosung is also the only true sub of the RFA men, which is a definite plus for some players. Yoosung’s yandere side is a huge red flag though. MC better watch out if she doesn’t dote on him as much as he wants. Once he falls for her, he’s all in.

Jumin

Character: 5/10 Unpopular opinion, but I hate Jumin. I understand that he’s some people’s guilty pleasure though. Jumin’s good aspects are that he’s intensely loyal, an animal lover and has a dry sense of humor. I appreciate how devoted he is to the RFA and it’s members. He offers to help Zen multiple times (albeit rejected), sends everyone body guards in his route and pays the hospital in the SE to keep Saeran’s identity top secret. What I’m not a fan of is the way he obsesses over MC and traps her in his house. This isn’t the first time he’s shown obsessive tendencies either. Seven explicitly states that Jumin acted this way with Rika in the past. Huuuge red flag.

Route: 3/10 His entire route is fraught with rich people problems. I’m supposed to sympathize with him for an arranged marriage? All he had to do was say no. His father couldn’t force him. He’s possessive of MC because women have only ever wanted to be with him for his money? Not an excuse. Elizabeth going missing was a vaguely interesting story line, but Jumin’s relationship with his cat was cringey enough to overshadow the drama of it for me.

Romantic Potential: 3/10 Jumin has some serious issues. He’s never had a good female role model which has given him a deep seeded hatred of women. Remember when he tells MC that respecting women goes against his core beliefs? Yikes. Then, after meeting a woman who respects him and he actually likes, he locks her up and tries to change everything about her (cutting her hair, buying her a new wardrobe, teaching her the ‘proper’ way to walk, etc). We’re supposed to believe Jumin learns to be better by the end of his route, but he still proposes to MC after only a week of knowing her! I’m having a hard time picturing Jumin in a healthy relationship.

Saeyoung

Character: 10/10 I’m not saying Saeyoung is a good person. Far from it actually. But he IS very well written and extremely interesting. In the other routes, Saeyoung is energetic and funny, bringing much needed humor to heavy moments. It’s always a joy being in a chatroom with him. Then you have the reveal that he actually hates his job and that he was faking his personality, all to a sad and slowed down version of his theme song. This plot twist shook me to my core. What makes him so well written is that the devs did a good job dropping hints to his real personality in the other routes that players might not notice during their first play through.

Route: 9/10 This route is a wild ride from start to finish. This is when the plot threads from the other routes come together and start make sense. This route has secret agents, assassins, a deadly bomb, kidnapping, an evil twin, a powerful cult... It’s action heavy while still carrying enough emotional weight to make me cry every time. Saeyoung’s route is heavy and emotional and sooo worth playing.

Romantic Potential: 6/10 Saeyoung has a shady job and a complicated past. Choosing to be with him means putting your life in danger every day. If you’re okay with that, he’d be a decent romantic partner. He’s a little rough around the edges, but I do think he has potential to become more like his ideal self (God Seven) after reading his AE. He’ll always have that mean and serious side to him, but I don’t think he’s hopeless.

Character: 4/10 He’s low-key the worst. I sympathize with his trauma from being abused by Rika, but I don’t understand why he feels the need to fix everything by himself. Rika might be the source of most problems in this game, but V is partially responsible for standing by and letting her get away with everything.

My first issue with him comes from encouraging Saeyoung to join the agency. I know Saeyoung didn’t have many options, but how was encouraging him to train to become a hacker and assassin the best option?! On top of that, he stalked Zen per Rika’s request and took creeper photos of him, failed miserably at protecting Saeran and don’t get me started on how he loves Rika unconditionally. V has some good characteristics but I really don’t care about those when he’s so terrible otherwise.

Route: 10/10 This route is *chef’s kiss* the BEST. I wouldn’t call it a romance since Vs barely in it but damn is it riveting. Saeran is the perfect amount of loving and unhinged, MC get’s to know Rika on a personal level and V finally gets to be active instead of just reactive like he is in all the other routes. It’s also satisfying to find out how much V has been keeping secret and to get a glimpse into Rika’s psyche. But what really makes V’s route stand out among the rest is that there are spy action scenes like in Saeyoung’s route, but the player also gets to spend time in Mint Eye.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I’ll be honest. I don’t think V will ever be able to move on from Rika. He’ll always love her, as evidence in his AE. Besides that drawback, I do think he’d be a good romantic partner for MC. V was never the issue in his past relationship with Rika. She was the abusive one and he was 100% the victim. I think he would treat MC just as well in their relationship as he treated Rika.

Saeran

Character: 7/10 I know I’m not the only one who loved the suave and cunning Saeran of the main routes who, after getting the therapy he needed, became an adorably shy and awkward man. Sadly, that’s not the character we got in AS. Instead, we met Ray, the split personality of Saeran’s psyche. Ray is charming and sweet as well as possessive and manipulative...which is something I’m into. But it’s not for everyone. Saeran’s real personality in AS is revealed to be angry and abusive and not at all similar to who he was in the main routes. I’ll give Cheritz props for writing a fairly accurate portrayal of disassociative identity disorder, but I think Saeran’s characterization is inconsistent. I get the impression Ray was an afterthought when creating AS.

Route: 7/10 A mixed bag for me. I really enjoy any chatroom/scene with Ray. He’s undeniably creepy, but those scenes were entertaining in a dark romance kind of way. On the other hand, the Saeran scenes had a lot of unrealized potential. Abuse is never cool. All his route needed to fix this was a scene where Saeran explained to MC that he was pretending to hate her to appease Rika and the other believers. While this fake hatred is implied, I think it needed to be outright stated. It’s also hard to believe that Saeran overcame his DID in the course of one night. I know all routes are limited to 11 days, but this one needed more. Highlights of this route are Saeyoung being kidnapped by his father and of course, dark Yoosung with Elizabun.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I truly do believe that Saeran could go on and live a happy life in any of the endings where he escapes Mint Eye and receives therapy. While we only get a glimpse of what an emotionally stable Searan looks like, we know that he was kind and attentive with MC. Saeran is a giver and would do anything to make MC happy. Red flags are that Searan is still clingy at the end of his route. Yoosung makes a comment that he’s always holding MC’s hand when he sees them together. Also, his DID is something that will occasionally return and that’s something MC has to go into their relationship knowing.

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xolarajean · 5 years ago

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Greenhouse Academy S1-4

Preface: So, I finally have gotten around to writing a review about S1-4 of Greenhouse Academy. I finished over a week ago and watched all 4 seasons in about 4 days haha. Honestly, I’ve been procrastinating this review because I have A LOT to write about. So here we go!

Plot: Eight months after losing their astronaut mother in a rocket explosion, brother and sister Alex and Hayley Woods enroll at a private boarding school, the Greenhouse, for gifted future leaders. Separately, they join two competing houses, Ravens and Eagles, within the school and tension builds up between the two siblings as they adjust. Soon, mysterious events catch the attention of the students from both houses and forces them to work together in order to find out what is happening at the draw the Greenhouse.

Review: 3.5/5

I found the plot really intriguing at first. In addition, I liked the actual events that happened and where the story could head in the future. Though, the execution was not as great. The acting I felt was good for the most part, but the writing seemed a little awkward and cringey at some points. But bear in mind that it is targeted at kids/teens (even though at some points in season 3 and 4 there were some curses thrown around) so it is kind of expected to have those moments. Either way, those moments are bearable to watch through. I personally liked season 1+2 more than season 3+4 for the most part. There is one main issue I have with this show, but I can’t describe it without spoiling it. So, continue reading if you’ve watched the show/don’t care about being spoiled (It’s mostly about season 3+4).

But the main issue I have were the character changes. The obvious ones are the actual cast changes for Emma and Brooke. And the fact that Jackie left... that broke my heart. I still have this naive hope that she will come back though. It sucks that the original actresses could not continue with season 3 and 4, but you can’t really blame anyone since those decisions are based on personal reasons. It’s hard not to prefer the original actresses because well they are what we are used to. Though, I can’t understand why everyone is hating on them sooooo much. I personally think they were fine at acting. The REAL problem was the writing. In season 3 and 4, the personalities of so many characters were switched and the plots were messier.

To start off, the whole love triangle between Daniel-Hayley-Leo was annoying. I DID ENJOY Daniel and Hayley, but Leo was just being a dick for the entirety of season 3. Obviously Leo was already a bit of an ass with the whole Aspen and LDR drama, but in season 3 the writers just made him 10x that (especially with the whole leading Beca on and straight up insulting Hayley at every chance he got). As you can tell I’m not a big fan of Leo, but the thing that got me is that the writers made Daniel such a jealous boyfriend? It seemed really out of character to me for Daniel to go through Hayley’s text like that and be paranoid of Leo (I mean hello this is the guy that is just straight up insulting your girlfriend and cheated on her. I don’t think you have that much competition or so I thought -- ending of season 4 was annoying). Like I know he was probably scared of Hayley getting back with Leo because of the Brooke and Alex thing, but honestly he knew that his relationship with Brooke was already sinking before Alex came into the picture. Plus, Hayley wasn’t flirting with Leo like Brooke was with Alex in Season1+2. The only good part about this love triangle was how supportive and understanding Daniel was with Hayley at the end. I mean done get me wrong I was thrown off by the huge 180 his personality took, but I’m just gonna believe that Daniel is just that good of a guy to be that mature. Anyway I’m just gonna end it with I prefer Dayley because their relationship felt more real (also I’m so glad that she told Daniel about the button and secret room right away and the writers avoided the keeping secrets to protect you which leads to tension trope because I would have imploded if they did that) and I want to erase the ending of season 4 from my head.

Next up: Emma and Max. Honestly in the first episode when I learned that Jackie was gone and both Emma and Max started lying about being in LDRs, I knew the writers were gonna try and pair them up. I had hope that they would pull a twist and have Jackie show up in the middle, but NOPE. Like this pairing is just super... boring? Like they are both sweet characters, but they really don’t bring that much to the table in terms of romantic chemistry. I liked them better as best friends who geek out together. And because the writers focused so much about their relationship it left almost no room for actual individual screen time or character development for either of them. Like all they did was use some algorithms and their intelligence to solve some seriously hard problems, but it made them seem more like robots and tools to solve the conflicts in the plot. All I have left to say is that I still ship Jackie+Max.

Now I wanna talk about Alex and Brooke. Tbh I never saw much chemistry between the two characters in any season. Like yeah Alex was a good guy that was with her at the right time when she went to the cave at night in like season 1 where he fought off the park ranger, but still it didn’t feel like a real relationship. This continues into season 3+4 and I was sooo happy when they broke up (but why did she have to do it during a basketball game? Heat of the moment I guess) Also, even when Alex was “trying to be a good friend” to Brooke, it came off that he was still trying to get back together with her even though it is obvious that she is just not ready? And near the end of season 4 after she talks to Jason in the hospital when she and Alex were talking, I cringed so hard when he admitted that he was having trouble being just friends because it felt to me that he was trying to guilt trip her into getting back together with him which is just so wrong?!?! Again, I wish to delete this scene from my brain.

Lastly I wanna share my opinions about Sophie, Parker, and Enzo. Let me start out by saying I think in season3+4, Sophie was my favorite character. I mean come on how could I not love her? She is determined to chase her ambitions like the bad ass she is even with her past (which I’m super mad that they didn’t really delve into her past because that could have made the show a lot more interesting). I also liked the introduction of a character like Enzo since it brings a new kind of person into the show and makes it more realistic because for the most part these kids seemed a little “too perfect.” Though, the writers didn’t use him to the full potential that he has which sucks for the viewers and the actor too and based on what we saw he is pretty good. Anyway I liked how he is actually a softie at heart and does the right thing for Soph. Now I wanna talk about the Sophie+Parker ship. Honestly, are the writers trying to pair up literally all the students together?!?! Again like Emma and Max, I felt that this wasn’t a real relationship; we’ve barely seen these two have any romantic chemistry and I view them more like a good pair of friend (class clown/funny + class president/serious dynamic is something I love). That’s all.

Quick opinion: Louis just felt off since the S3. I mean I get that he wants to better the students, but causing fights seemed wayyyy out of line for his character. So that was weird.

Anyway that was all of my thoughts (at least for now) about Greenhouse Academy! Even though it seems like I hate the series based on my complaints above lol I actually really liked it and hope for a season 5 (crossing my fingers) where the writers and other staff can hopefully redeem themselves by fixing the problems above. If you have any thoughts about the show, please do talk to me about it because I LOVE chatting about the shows I’ve watched.

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hangonimevolving · 6 years ago

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Attempting some gratitude, for once.

I need to post this, before the thought and the mood from which it’s sprung both dissipate into thin air.

I suck at gratitude, on the whole. Seriously, I do, and I know I need to work on that. I’ll spare everyone my sob stories, explanations, justifications, etc. for why I have had a hard time with gratitude in recent years, but suffice to say - I am aware that I suck at it, and I heard somewhere that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.... so fine. I admit it. I’m ungrateful and unappreciative in my life most days.

But today, I’ve had multiple - MULTIPLE - moments of just feeling this weird, inexplicable, warm and fuzzy, happy, sigh-inducing THING just bubble up in me. And I was like WTF is this feeling?! Why is my tummy all glittery and light? Why am I sitting here on the sofa smiling for no damn reason?! OHHHHH! Wait! Is this.....gratitude?! HOLY SHIT, I think it is! So I’m gonna write it down and note it for all posterity. I, Evolver, have felt gratitude on this 7th day of September, 2018.

It all started last Saturday night, where, right in the middle of Labor Day weekend and my sister Rithers’ visit to our hike in Miami along with her hubby, Uncle K, and her kids H20 and NiNi, our 5.5-year old Vevvy fell ill. We thought that perhaps he was just overly exhausted from a long and happy day in the pool when he felt warm to the touch on Saturday night, but mid-day Sunday, during a beach excursion - Vev’s FAVORITE thing in the world, he completely fell apart, acting listless, fatigued, and not having fun at all. One look at him, standing statuesque on the beach, staring out to sea longingly while tears rolled down his cheeks, said it all: “what is going on?! I’m so confused, mommy! I’m in my favorite place in the world, and yet I feel so miserable! What is happening to me?!” A hand on his forehead revealed that he was burning up. Without a moment’s hesitation, Dr. Spouse loaded him up in the car and headed for home, while I remained at the beach with Dey to host Rithers and co. a while longer. Poor Vev needed a shower, some kiddie Tylenol, and bed rest, stat.

the “I am siiiiick” face :(

Over the next seven - SEVEN! - days, Vev would continue to have relentless fevers or 101-103F even with continuous children’s Tylenol and Motrin. He also developed monster congestion in his sinuses and nose, headaches, body ache, and general fatigue. I was sincerely shocked and more than a little intimidated by his congestion snot (keeping it real), which was so thick and oppressive, it would choke his throat and inhibit his from breathing if he dared to rest in even a semi-reclining position.

The poor kid had no choice but to be completely upright if he didn’t want to gag on his own phlegm, which meant that he (and by transitive property, I) could really sleep no more than 90 minutes at a stretch for four nights straight. He was miserable, and I was doing everything I could to help him, staying with him each night either on an air mattress in my bedroom, or just holding him against my shoulder/chest in my bed while he desperately tried to sleep and breathe at the same time. I felt awful for him, and mused for a moment about parents whose children have respiratory disorders like CF who live their lives this way.... good health is such a blessing that we all take for granted.

As much as I hated every minute of Vev’s suffering, there was something a bit nostalgic in holding him sleeping in my arms for several consecutive nights. Wasn’t there a time in the not-so-distant past where this was the ONLY way he’d sleep?! I bitch and moan all the time about how clingy, dependent, and non-self reliant my kids are — but it has been years since Vev needed me at night this way. My Vevvy has grown up a lot.

And to his credit, despite all this sicky misery, he was really a trooper while ill. Against his traditional character, when sick or not, he really didn’t complain much - just went quiet and kept to himself for days, forming a little nest on the sofa each day with a warm blankie, big box of Kleenex, and his iPad, not really asking for much at all except quiet and rest. He never really complained when I had to give him medication, and he did his best to heed my urges to drink clear fluids even when I could tell he really didn’t want to. And - forgive the TMI here - but you know your kid is really growing up when they begin to have some way of forewarning you and/or running to the bathroom on their own steam and hitting the preferred target of the toilet when they’ve gotta vomit. Fortunately, Vev only puked twice this week, and I suspect that too was only bc he gagged on his own copious snot — but both times, he announced “throwwww uuuup!” to me before sprinting to the loo and handling affairs with no mess and accurate aim. HALLELUJAH! This should be considered a major developmental milestone!!! (And yes - poor, poor kid! I really am glad it was only the twice, because that must have sucked a lot for him!)

Yeah, so. He’s growing up. Way to go, buddy!!!... and, sniff.

(supposedly this says “Mommy I love you ”... but he always starts writing at the bottom of a page and works his way up. He may also be of the mind that “Mommy” is spelled “mom-E.” Yes, we’re gonna work on it)

It was only yesterday, Thursday, that we got an official pediatrician diagnosis of his illness: the flu, as in the legit flu virus, or Influenza A. The word came too late for antiviral medications to be of any great use to him, unfortunately, but I was grateful anyway that we got a halfway-decent pediatrician BRILLIANT nurse practitioner who needed my assertive request demand for a prophylactic prescription or Tamiflu for Dey. We’ve had shitty luck in South Florida with pediatricians who appear to be reactionary and unnecessarily nonsensical in their responses to my requests for help - but this time, our pedi NP was A+. She treated our family like competent, educated people and did things that made sense as far as ensuring this highly-contagious virus wouldn’t spread to another healthy child living in the same household. I wish she could be our regular PCP (but of course, I bet she can’t be, bc she’s not a doctor. Grr, fucking managed care. Oops, hold it - I’m supposed to be channeling gratitude here, not my customary bitchiness. My bad.)

Anyway, speaking of Dey, I’ve got to brag about him a bit here too. At 3.5 years old, Dey’s baseline is definitely chill, go-with-the-flow, glass-half-full, and a pleasant, happy and easygoing “whatever you want, dude!”-ness that Vev NEVER was at that age. It’s been really awesome to see. But this week, his general outlook on life, combined with impressive moments of being a team player, cooperating, helping out, and exhibiting formidable empathy really made me sooo proud.

It’s certainly understandable that he’d be potentially jealous that his older brother got to skip an entire week of school while he still had to go. It would be even more understandable since they are actual CLASSMATES at school this year (yes, our Montessori school groups ages 4-6/preschool, pre-K and kindergarten in one classroom, so they’ve been together at school and at home since the start of the academic year). So I was very impressed when Dey accepted his brother’s illness and his need to stay home from school, while he was forced to go. Without one word of complaint, he’d get up each morning, eat his breakfast, get washed up and dressed out in uniform, gather his things, then visit Vev quickly and dispense a goodbye hug and a “hope you feel better, Vev!” before loading up in the car for school drop-off. What a trooper. At afternoon pick-up, when I’d ask about his day at school, he’d say with a little frown, “oh, school was okay...but Vev wasn’t on the playground.” It was kinda weird feeling my heart simultaneously break a little, but also burst with pride at how much he loves his brother. Sweet kiddo.

At home, each afternoon he’d run excitedly to Vev to see how he was doing, his face full of hopeful anticipation that perhaps today, Vev was feeling better and could play with him... but when he’d find Vev too miserable and tired to play, his face would momentarily fall in disappointment, but then he would muster some compassion and understanding, silently shuffle away, and find a quiet game to do in the vicinity, just so he could be nearby without disturbing Vev. Or, cuter still, he’d snuggle down on the opposite side of the couch as Vev, and tune his iPad into the same YouTube video Vev would be watching, so they could give each other silly smiles and glances during the funny parts. The boy would periodically race off in the house to find his toy doctor kit, and would affix his little plastic stethoscope to his ears so he could “give Vev a checkup” and “make him feel better.”

(Dr. Cutie Pie is in)

It was adorable, man. His whole world spins because of his brother. It’s so touching. I don’t know how it is that I managed to have two kids who love each other so much, because karmically I’ve done NOTHING to earn this. My sister and I were rotten to each other as kids, and only really turned a corner on it in our... what, our late 30′s?! Haha :) But I’m so grateful for these two dudes. These two little people are the best of friends, and they can’t live without each other. The feels.

One more funny brag about Dey. Dr. Spouse and I often jokingly refer to him as Dory, i.e. the lovable blue fish, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres from the Disney movie “Finding Nemo.” Dory’s schtick is that she’s easily distracted and has short-term memory.

Fittingly, Dory is one of Dey’s favorite cartoon characters, and he’s not shy to let the world know....

youtube

Anyway. Remember that whole prophylactic script for Tamiflu? Mind you, I was so grateful to get it. But. Ummmm, pediatric Tamiflu tastes FOUL. It is seriously the most bitter, disgusting, viscous goo I’ve ever gingerly licked to mentally prepare myself for my kid’s reaction to. I began fearing Dey’s reaction, and the ensuing tantrums to come over the five-day course of the drug. But I spoke matter-of-fairly to Dey about how this was a medicine he’d need to take to keep himself healthy, and that it would be a little bit yucky, but that I’d give him a HUGE spoonful of sugar right after to make it taste better (and THANK YOU, blessed Mary Poppins, for your genius).

Luckily, little Dory just took my words at face value without any further thought, opened his mouth, and downed the nasty shot of devil’s semen Tamiflu that I dispensed into his mouth. Immediately his face went every shade of red, purple, and white, with a coordinating expression like “what the hell is this shit?!” — but I swooped in there prepared, like a crack-smoking Mother of Batman, giving him a swig of water then heaping a MASSIVE spoon of white sugar directly onto his tongue. The result was nothing short of magical - the kid instantaneously closed his eyes in pleasure, turned up his cute little round cheeks to the ceiling with a huge smile on his face, and loudly cooed “Mmmm!” as if it was the best damn thing he’d ever eaten in his life. Moments later, the sugar fully dissolved, Dey matter-of-fairly reminisced with a RainMan-esque tone, “hey mommy, that medicine was kind of yucky for me. Kind of salty. Kind of spicy. But the SUGAR WAS YUUUUUUMMMMMY!” I worried that at the next dosing (and man, the kid’s gotta take it morning and night, poor little dude) he’d run screaming from the salty spicy medicine, and wouldn’t fall for the sugar trick — but amazingly, when I announced “medicine and sugar time,” the child came RUNNING to me with a huge grin on his face like he’d just won the lottery. He gulped down the medicine like a champ, swigged the water himself, then began changing “Su-gar! Su-gar! Su-gar!” till I ladled a bit into his mouth. Naturally, my mind spun forward a bit, concerned that his ease of overcoming the Yucky Taste Barrier and downing this stuff for a cheap reward might translate into some unsavory teenage and young adult behaviors (err, tequila shot champion in the making?! Please god, help us). But, for now - eternally grateful for my little Dory’s easy distractability and forgiving memory!!! Vev, at that age and even now, would have NEVER gone along with this!

(is it just me, or do they even kinda sorta look alike, Dory and Dey? No one else sees it?! No one?!!! Hmm...)

Anyway. In conclusion, it’s not normal for me to have something kind of bad happen, like the flu hitting one of my kids, but finding some good in the mess. But here I am, in spite of myself, awash in all the warm fuzzies.

1. I’ve got two healthy, happy kids, when many people have children with serious health issues and have to live their lives watching their kids sick and miserable all the time

2. my kids are growing up, becoming wonderfully independent, self-reliant, empathetic and helpful. But they still sometimes need me, and that’s nice too.

3. They both have such fun, distinct personalities.

4. I admit that it’s pretty awesome that my second kid is so chill. Love them both to bits, but if kid #2 has been more ornery and neurotic, I think that would have sucked. Having a chill kid #2 is a godsend.

5. They frigging LOVE EACH OTHER. It’s a goddamn brotherly love fest up in here.

6. Last but not least - the flu sucks, but it isn’t forever, and life will go on. Soon, in fact. And we’ll be onto the next adventure together. Look forward to seeing what it’ll be!

#Vev #Dey #parenthood #influenza #flu #brotherlylove

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helluvapilotgriff · 7 years ago

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Rebel Lullaby - Poe Dameron x Reader

Chapter 1 - New Responsibilities

Part 2

Being a princess in the Resistance was sometimes really fucking hard and you would gladly pass this job on someone else. Having to deal with your parents’ expectations and disappointment, having to constantly prove yourself to others, to convince them (and yourself) that you weren’t Commander just because of your parents and that you deserved to be here, but also the fact that you had to prepare to rule over your planet when the time comes (which you weren’t ready for, at all). Really your life was just a mess, and if you succeeded to hide it from others, sometimes you just felt like doing a Luke Skywalker and isolate yourself from people and responsibilities to be at peace for once. You just had so much things to think about…

« Hey babe, I heard you got some news for me? »

Oh. And there was just one more tiny problem.

« Don’t. Call. Me. Babe. » you hissed at him between your teeth.

« Aw, sweetheart, don’t get mad. You know I can’t resist it when I see you, have some pity for the common people », he replied in an innocent voice, a big smile on his stupid face.

You felt red rising on your cheeks, both from embarrassment and anger. This man was just so infuriating. He loved to parade around you with his gorgeous face and making everybody love him so when you tried to say something about his arrogance or stupidity nobody would agree with you because « you were too harsh with him, he’s the greatest pilot in the Resistance, and I don’t understand why you don’t like him… bla bla bla ». Well okay, he wasn’t stupid, just extremely reckless and devoid of all notions that came close to self control and obedience when he was seated in his X-Wing. You could agree on the fact that he was a good pilot, but sticking to the plan and following orders seemed to be above him.

« Commander Dameron, leave (Y/N) alone, and bring your ass over here », General Organa called from the other side of the command room. *

He left your side with a wink and you rolled your eyes, and decided to read some reports until Generel Organa was finished with instructions for the next mission to come.

Really, you didn’t hate Poe, it was just… He was a lot to deal with. This poster boy was sometimes too much for you, seeing as you didn’t know how to respond to his flirting, and him being a kind person but also some other time being able to get on your nerves… He was an enigma and you didn’t know the answer. So you did the only thing you know how to do: you pushed him away. You didn’t have time to figure out if his flirting was genuine or if he did that with everyone else, if you could have feelings for him, how to be friend with such a person with an aura like he had… You had responsibilities, more than most people here, and feelings were out of the equation. So you pretended to « hate » him (but really no one was buying it) to keep him away, and you didn’t seem to do a good job of that either. He apparently had invented a new game to entertain himself: How Long Can I Tease (Y/N) Until General Organa Decides To Intervene. Seemed pretty fun if you weren’t, well, at the center of this stupid game.

« You know, I always had a thing for pilots too. »

You jumped from your sit. « For heaven’s sake General, don’t do that to me! »

Leia was apparently finished with assigning tasks, and she just had scared you to death. You suddenly realized what she had just said.

« And I don’t have a thing for pilots », you retorted indignantly.

« Sure. Pay attention, you drop your defenses and one morning you wake up with a baby in your belly. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience ». She was obviously enjoying this.

« Don’t you worry, a baby isn’t exactly what I’m planning for the future for now. And especially not with Poe Dameron. »

A baby with Poe Dameron. You laughed in your head. Yeah, like this is going to happen.

« Now, for the next mission. You’ll be part of it. » Leia said, changing the subject completely.

« … What? Seriously? » You were astonished. You were trying to convince her for months, even years to let you go on a mission, but she always brought up the subject of your safety and how it would be disastrous if you would perish, leaving your parents without an heir and practically offering the control of your planet to the First Order.

« Yes, seriously. This is a mission only you can accomplish. Well, I can, but it’s time you make yourself known to the political world, and this is your chance. You are going to Coruscant to try and talk to potential allies to and convince them to associate with the Resistance. We are going short on supplies and budget, we need new alliances. That’s where you play your role. »

« But… Are you sure about this? I mean, I’ve never done this before, isn’t it a bit risky to send me for such an important task? I could blow this up… I would never forget myself… »

« Shh, I don’t want to hear about your insecurities. You have been trained long enough and now is the time for practice. Trust me (Y/N), I know that this is a crucial mission for our future, and I wouldn’t choose you if I weren’t sure you could do this. I trust you and your abilities. You have proved over time that you were very eloquent and charming if you really wanted something. I’m going to need you to act on this charm. Politicians are not fools. They know that our business is risky. You need to convince them that our chances are high enough for them to engage with us. Do you understand? »

« I… I do. I’ll do my best. »

« Great. That’s what I want to hear. Be careful (Y/N), politics isn’t a world for insecure people and you have to fight to have your voice heard. This is harsh, but that’s how it is. You are a fierce and competent woman (Y/N), trust yourself », she said more gently, laying a hand on your shoulder.

This physical contact eased you a little. You weren’t excepting this at all, and this sudden responsibility scared you, you couldn’t deny it. You had watched Leia at work for a few years now, and you knew how the game was played, but to do it yourself instead of watching silently in the back… It was something else entirely. You knew that someday you would have to do this, to enter the political world, as a princess in this galaxy, but you didn’t imagine that it would be so close. And now it was time. You breathed heavily, and looked your mentor in the eyes.

« I can do this. You can trust me, I’ll do whatever I can to help the Resistance. »

The General smiled gently at you, even motherly, and you smiled back. In fact, you considered her more like your mother than the one who actually gave birth to you. You loved your biological mother, of course, but it was a distant love. You sometimes felt you didn’t really know her, and it pained you. But your father was not the type to accept any kind of emotions in his house. As royalty, he considered him and his family to have to act like some kind of robots, even though droids had proven themselves to show more emotions than him. Needless to say that you joining the Resistance was a huge disappointment for him. But you were used to that.

You suddenly felt yourself pulled into the arms of the General, as she gave you a hug.

« I am so proud of the woman you’ve become, (Y/N) ».

You could feel the emotion in her voice, and your eyes started to fog up as the tears were threatening to fall. You suddenly felt very emotional.

« I learned from the best, General. »

You both smiled at each other fondly, a rare moment of tenderness in this everlasting war. The General recomposed herself, and she picked up a data pad from the table next to you, handing it to you.

« So, the most important things you need to know are in there, I expect you to read all of this before your departure, which will be in two days. Take the strict minimum, everything you’re going to need will be awaiting you in Coruscant. You will be staying at a friend’s of mine, I trust her completely and she will treat you well. Now, I already talked with Poe, and he will gladly accompany you all the way there and he will be your protector. He has his own mission in Coruscant, you will see this with him… »

« Wait, what? » you interrupted her. « I’m going with Poe Dameron? »

You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t be going with him. You didn’t need something to distract you from your mission and that’s something he would certainly do, consciously or not.

« Yes, you are. I know of your little prejudices about him but he’s the best pilot I can offer you and I trust him as much as I trust you, so I expect you to do the same. You will have to work on your disagreements with him, and quick, because you are both my best elements. Do you understand? »

You fumed internally. He was going to ruin everything. But you clearly had no choice.

« I understant, General. »

« Good. Now, go prepare yourself and enjoy your friends, you aren’t going to see them for a while. »

« Yes, General. »

You saluted her and left the command room to go back to your room. You needed time to yourself to think about everything that you just learned. You were walking rapidly, your head down, deep in thoughts, when you heard a voice calling for you.

« Hey, (Y/N)! So you heard the good news? »

Sooo, yeah.

This is my first story ever written, so, you know, be gentle with me.

No but seriously, I would love to know what you think about this and if you want more, so please let me know!

(p.s.: i’m french so sorry if there are mistakes, i try to improve my english everyday)

#star wars imagine #star wars x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron imagines #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fic #my works

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evenstevensranked · 7 years ago

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#23: Season 3, Episode 3 - “My Best Friend’s Girlfriend”

Twitty’s new relationship with Allison Wong starts monopolizing his free time and Louis' jealousy emerges once again. Meanwhile, Ren and Donnie get caught up in some heated sibling rivalry for a change!

I love when “kid” shows grow up a bit and we get to see our characters in juicy situations -- Like, immature middle school relationships. LET’S GET INTO THE DRAMA!

We see that Louis and Twitty have found a hobby in "foam-hunk diving." Don't even tell me you didn't want to try this (or STILL want to try this.) If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that this episode inspired us all to foam hunk dive:

One day during their routine excursion, Twitty notices Allison Wong standing nearby. It's so ridiculous (and slightly inappropriate?) how they have her drink from a water bottle in slow-mo while a deep voice sings "ohhhh, babehhhh" in the background. This is Even Stevens, not Baywatch. Louis encourages Twitty to go talk to her. Their conversation is awkward -- complete with a foam hunk sticking out of Twitty's neck. And I use the word "conversation" lightly because it's literally exactly what you'd expect interaction between two 8th graders to be like (a.k.a. The smallest small talk ever.) But, that's apparently all it takes for Twitty to return to Louis with the good news "She likes me!" and they celebrate by flailing around in packaging materials, as all mature men do.

I would also like to point out the incredible name for the packing supply warehouse, which I just noticed today:

“PACKRAMENTO Packing Supplies” - Not only is the totally legit logo abnormally bright, terribly superimposed, and made on Microsoft Paint... but it’s one of the greatest and worst puns I’ve ever heard.

Then it cuts to the subplot, where Donnie is preparing to give a rock climbing demonstration on... a giant rock wall that they've named after him. Why? I have so many questions. Was Donnie the school's star rock climber too? What middle school even has a rock climbing program? Lawrence Jr. High does because this is Even Stevens, fool.

Everyone is there in the stands, including Twitty and Allison who have already started dating??? They're cozying up to each other and everything already.

ok they’re honestly pretty cute tho

Just as Donnie is about to do his demonstration, coach Tugnut interjects and performs a cheer for Donnie. This is so disturbing, lol. The opening line is "Donnie Stevens, muscles that bulge" - CALM DOWN, TUGNUT. He also says “Leading his teammates to a steamy hot shower!” Again: Holy crap, Disney. What de heck. Tugnut was definitely a coded gay character... and an unfortunately creepy one at that, dang.

Wexler, Donnie, and Tawny are me.

He then insists that Donnie doesn't ~shine~ without an opponent, so Ren unwillingly volunteers by jumping up and screaming at the top of her lungs after Louis pours ice down the back of her shirt. This leads to a "family grudge match" (Tugnut's words) between brother and sister, which we seldom see and it's a cool lil switcheroo! The sibling rivalry is always centered around Louis and Ren specifically. So it's interesting to see what that dynamic is like between Ren and Donnie. Like, you forget that Louis and Ren have a brother sometimes! To Donnie's shock and embarrassment, Ren beats him. Uh oh. This births the main through-line of the subplot which is the two of them competing at literally everything ever in life after that because Donnie is being a sore loser.

At lunch that day, Louis’ jealousy takes center stage when Twitty invites Allison to eat with them. They’re all giggly and lovey dovey -- gushing about the fact that both of their names start with “Al” and they love strawberry ice cream but hate vanilla. Ya know, the kind of solid foundation all enduring relationships are built on. Louis ain’t havin’ it. Twitty even says that the two of them are going to craft club after school, when he usually goes to Louis’ house. God forbid.

This scene also brought us one of my favorite Louis gifs:

I can taste the salt from here. No one wears jealousy as strong as Louis Stevens.

I’m just gonna wrap up the subplot now, like I usually do.. because they’re always much shorter than the main plot and so intermittent that it’s just annoying (and extra work for me lol) to keep going back and forth! Sooo yeah. Basically Donnie starts an unofficial battle against Ren over everything: Like who can put away groceries the fastest and a spur of the moment limbo challenge. I love the limbo scene, because how on earth is Steve in regular clothes one second and tropical vacation clothes complete with a coconut drink the next? Because this is Even Stevens, fool.

“This is like that impromptu family fun you see on television!” Steve says, as we watch them have impromptu family fun on television. That’s some sorta fourth wall type joke right there.

Donnie ultimately challenges Ren to a rock climbing rematch... and she beats him fair and square again. Donnie is cool with it this time around and adjusts his negative attitude towards losing! Yay! I also forgot to mention that Tugnut very harshly slapped Donnie’s butt before he started climbing at both matches. Yikes. Ren and Donnie are all happy and proud of themselves for not letting competition come between them, and Tugnut is miserable over precious Donnie losing to his sister. They should probably rename it the Ren Stevens Rock Climbing Wall though. The person it’s named after couldn’t even climb it successfully.

I love this. It’s so nice, tbh. The end!

Back to the Twitty and Allison drama. Twitty stops by the Stevens house after craft club and brings Allison along with him. Louis just about dies. He just can’t handle it at all. I’d like to mention that Louis was reading a “swimsuit edition” of Steve’s bird watching magazine as Twitty walked in??? What? Is it just pictures of girls in bikinis posing with birds? Why is that a thing? Because THIS IS EVEN STEVENS, FOOL. Twitty also brought a wind chime he made using sea glass and Allison puts it to the left of Louis’ bed. Later in the scene, Louis walks to the right of his bed and the wind chime hits him in the head. Twitty forgot to mention he also installed a brain and legs into the wind chime. This whole scene is kinda sad though because Louis tries to hang out with them, but everything he suggests is only suited for two people. Like a bunch of hilariously titled board games: “2 On a Plank,” “Two to Tango,” “Third Wheel,” and “Odd Man Out.” Sounds like a fun time!

I love how “2 On a Plank” shows, like.. 5 people on the side of the box.

Louis clearly doesn’t know how to be alone or allow his friends to have other friends/significant others, so he immediately decides to replace Twitty any way he can -- Starting with asking Tawny to date him again. “As of right now, you and I are officially back on!” Tawny can see right through him as usual and tries to make him see that he doesn’t want a girlfriend, he’s just using her to fill the void. There’s a great bit here when Louis presents a daisy to Tawny and refers to it as a rose lol. That moment has been gif’d and literally has 400k+ notes on here! Wowie!

Tawny’s words of wisdom fall on deaf ears because Louis turns around right away and runs to Tom as a last resort. “Welp, now you’re officially my best friend!” he tells him. As if it’s that easy. Despite sort of being friends, (I say ‘sort of’ because Louis tends to treat Tom like poo on his shoe) the two of them obviously don’t have much in common and Tom is way too uptight to be bffs with Louis. Tom is absolutely elated to have a “best friend,” though. :( He asks Louis if they should talk to each other before school in the morning to make sure they don’t wear the same thing, but Louis insists that’s not gonna happen. And he’s right... the chances of that happening are literally zero. But leave it to Tom to somehow manage to take “best friends” to the next level:

I’ll never understand how or why this happens on TV shows all the time.

Louis tries to take Tom foam hunk diving with him, but Tom’s uptight nature sucks the fun out of everything. So much so, Louis just ends their new best-friendship right then and there. There’s only one thing I dislike about this episode, and that’s the way Louis treats Tom. As usual. It’s pretty hilarious though... Tom says he can’t hop the fence because he doesn’t have his fence climbing gloves. Oh my god.

Louis attempts to go dive by himself, but it’s just not the same. It also makes him look like a crazy person flailing around in hunks of foam and beaming with joy by himself. I’d like to point out that “Louis” does a flip into the hunks, except it’s definitely not Shia:

Shia couldn’t do his own stunts??? lol. The flip was pretty simple! This dude’s wig is so different from Shia’s hair and he has a receding hairline.

Just then, Louis hides as Twitty shows up with Allison and surprises her with the vat of foam hunks. She’s seriously unimpressed. She calls the idea of jumping into it stupid. One thing leads to another and they decide to break up, dramatically parting ways.

I love how this screencap really illustrates that it was the foam hunks that tore them apart. Imagine? “How did your marriage end again?” “My wife wouldn’t jump in a tub of packaging materials with me.” -- This is why middle schoolers aren’t ready for relationships.

Louis is beyond happy that they broke up at first. He’s just excited to have his best friend back. But, unfortunately.. all Twitty can do afterwards is mope around. He can’t stop thinking about Allison. This brings us to the end of the episode and the reason why I really like this one. In the end, Louis decides to put his friend’s feelings before his own and convinces Allison to go foam hunk diving with them. Awww. She pops up out of nowhere and pleasantly surprises Twitty! Tom shows up too and the four of them have a good old fashioned blast.

It’s like when friends get caught in the rain and have a cinematic, grand old time -- except this is Even Stevens so it’s foam hunks that fall instead.

And that’s it! Idk man, I just always liked this episode. I’ve said it a million times but I live for teen drama lol. It’s just refreshing and entertaining whenever this show decides to explore relationships. We get to see quite a few here as well! There’s Twitty and Allison of course. But then there’s Louis and Twitty’s friendship, as well as Ren and Donnie’s rivalry. This one is kinda stuffed to the brim with it, but I really enjoy the main plot. Even though Louis was super jealous the whole time, the resolution always makes me happy. Just goes to show that he’s a good friend, even though selfishness can get the better of him sometimes. This episode also kinda doubles as a Twitty plot which is cool. Oh, and Shia does his “WAHHHH-HA-HA-OOOOOO!” scream at least 10 times in this episode. Five of which are in the first 2 minutes, so there’s that. I actually just realized that this episode is basically the same plot as All About Yvette, except reversed and less cheesy. I feel like I mention that episode a lot for some reason lol.

I also want to let you guys know that I’ve created a Redbubble account to start selling some Even Stevens-related designs/products. I’ve been working really hard on the designs and cannot wait to post them!! Ahhh. I have so many ideas! haha. (Like *cough* Twitty-Stevens Connection band merch *cough*) It’s gonna be fun. I was inspired to do so because I saw that Lizzie McGuire, That’s So Raven and other Disney Channel “classics” have some new official merch for sale through Hot Topic. But of course... Even Stevens gets nothing. So once again, I’m taking matters into my own hands here lol. I always try to search for Even Stevens merch, but I can never find anything. So I’m making these products for myself as much as I’m making them for y’all. I’ll be sure to let you know when the stuff is posted.

ALSO Brookwell/McNamara (the show’s production team) followed the blog on Twitter. I feel so validated and ~official.~

Thanks for reading! As always, I encourage you to chime in via Disqus below.

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

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borisbubbles · 7 years ago

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SURVIVOR: GAME CHANGERS Review

I only saw “Worlds Apart” again as a prelude to the latest season, which I hadn’t seen just yet. Keeping in the theme of self-parody, or so it would seem, this latest season was called “Game Changers” and reinforced its titular promise by... casting a bunch of randoms and like... seven legendary players? My personal pet theory the season was meant as a fanwank dedicated to the AWFUL (um, spoiler) Ciera “BIG MOVES!!” Eastin but then she was booted first, WHOOPS!!!!

I only saw “Worlds Apart” again as a prelude to the latest season, which I hadn’t seen just yet. Keeping in the theme of self-parody, or so it would seem, this latest season was called “Game Changers” and reinforced its titular promise by... casting a bunch of randoms and like... seven actually legendary players? My personal pet theory the season was meant as a fanwank dedicated to the AWFUL (um, spoiler) Ciera “BIG MOVES!!” Eastin but then she was booted first, WHOOPS!!!!

“Game Changers” turned out perfectly average in the end. As one might expect from a season with that name, it focused on The Game a ton, which... meh. The game of Survivor is a combo of social dynamics + basic arithmetic; no guarantee for entertainment in itself, but a solid frame in which a good cast can shine if allowed to do so. As a subject to model a season of reality television around though... eh, no fanks. The Max Dawsons of the world love hearing about OPTIONS and hypothetical scenarios and blindsides, but not I.

By investing heavily in The Game, I feel production dropped the ball here: The Game basically always pans out the same way, no matter how many gimmicky twists you throw into the mix. Speaking of which, omg the twists were ridiculous, are you KIDDING me??? The default elimination of Cirie Fields, one of the savviest players to every play Survivor, because she was the only person at tribal council to not possess a grossly overpowered advantage and had relied soley on her own cunning, is definitely a low point in the whole FRANCHISE.

So let me state the obvious truth the producers seem to have forgotten:

It’s the PEOPLE in that game which elevate it because they are differing factor between seasons. Ergo, what makes them tick should ALWAYS be the main focus. Despite a SHOCKING lack of personable moments (there’s transgate and advantagegeddon but both were awful) personalities did -miraculously- manage to shine and made Game Changers... what’s the opposite of “boring”? Not boring? Acceptable? Cromulent? idk. I consider GC being decent dumb luck for the most part. Still, in a world in which once good shows such as Survivor drift ever closer to Openly Bad Television, we should count our blessings when they come.

~CAST RANKING~

1. Sandra Diaz-Twine Mana Tribe 15th place

THE QUEEN OF SURVIVOR <3 Explaining Sandra with mere words always sells her short. If you know her, you KNOW why she’s #1. If you don’t, well... acquaint yourself

youtube

Sassy latina matron whose entire personality can be summed up by “I don’t give a shit. fuck you, adios” <3 Sandra is just INTENSLY charismatic and personable and even mundane shit, like instructing her minions on who to vote out is funny: "so this is the person i think we should send home and imma tell you why: SIERRA. DAWN. THOMAS.. :)”. <3

I’m secretly grateful she was voted off early though because it meant she was spared the editorial dettol and we finally got to see her unplugged. <3 Foolish men would gun for her all the time, only for her to effortlessly turn the tables on them every single time. It’s weird that despite her legacy, people STILL underestimated her. Of course, this all led to her being despised by the goldfish memory’d fraus. “WHO IS THIS “QUEEN” CAN SHE GO I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHO SHE IS” the only person to win Survivor *TWICE*, that’s who! THE QUEEN STAYS QUEEN.

2. Michaela Bradshaw Mana 7th place

All that Sandra worship, aside, I ALMOST ranked Michaela above her. She -too- is one of my all-time favourite players. Like Sandra, Michaela’s awesomeness is difficult to capture in script; imagine if the entire “Candor” faction from the Divergent universe was distilled into one human being; that’s the Michaela Bradshaw experience in a nutshell.

Great Michaela moments include:

(1) “TELL MALCOLM YA SEND HIM HOME TOO” (2) “SLIDE TO THE SIDE, SLIDE TO THE SIDE”

(3) Desperately trying and -failing- to control her attitudeface

(4) Stress eating at tribal council, accompanied by the usual attitudefaces:

(5) her strategy to keep Culpepper Culpepper from looking for the HII: michaela: “yo brad, go fish” culpepper: “what do you mean “go fish” is that some sort of metaphor?” michaela: “no... it's a suggestion. go fishing, like go fish. it’s low tide.” culpepper: “..........” michaela: “and bring back fish. at low tide.” culpepper: “............” michaela: “...............................” culpepper: “....................” michaela: “GO FISH!!!! >__<”

On most seasons a Sassy Black Girl With Attitude would be an OTT charicature. On Survivor Game Changers however, she was the ONLY contestant who felt like... a real, complex person, with trivial yet relatable struggles (coping with a resting bitchface, putting too much sugar in your coffee, you know, the sort of little things we all know we shouldn’t do but still do anyway). Survivor as a show doesn’t really do such characters anymore, instead focusing on charicaturizing the people with bigger personalities, and sanitizing the rest. It was great to have a character which broke this tendency, even if it were through sheer happenstance.

3. Andrea Boehke Nuku tribe 8th place

Pet theory: Andrea was secretly delighted that Zeke turned on her, so she could gun for an obvious jury threat WITHOUT looking like an asshole <3

Seriously, Survivor is known for its comically vitriolic feuds (Sandra vs Jon, Marty vs Jane, Judd vs Margaret, Mike vs Rodney, etc) but especially this one? Andrea was SOOO visceral and bitter in that feud and destroyed him in confessionals (”TERRIBLE GAME MOVE. YOU SUCK AT THIS GAME. I HOPE I SEE YOU NEVER.” is a top 5 voting confesh), shaded him to his face (”PEOPLE AREN’T HUMAN CHESS PIECES”) and then actually got him booted lmao <3 She REALLY hated Zeke for feeling threatened by her stardom (lmfao, okay Andrea LaGrossa) and *I* too really hated Zeke, so it worked for me!

Andrea is a blatant famewhore, but of the best sort: the one who isn’t fully aware of her own compulsiveness to make moves, not for the sake of her game, but for the sake of her own entertainment. Fortunately for us, she has a pretty good grasp on what “entertaining” involves. <3

After getting Zeke booted, Andrea targeted her friend FirstOfficerSarah, claiming she had never liked her rofl she’s too much, stawwwp.

4. Cirie Fields Nuku 6th place

Cirie’s time on this show was a perfect blend of all her previous arcs: overcoming the physical obstructions of being a self-confessed “couch potato” competing on a Survival show, competent yet interesting strategic ploys, getting screwed over by shitty production twists... wait wut????

I loved her fleshed-out relationships with other contestants. In particular: the Ozzy/Cirie paranoia of “will the other gun for me after what happened eight years ago.... hmm... i don’t think so BUT i’ll gun for them anyway :)”, only for Cirie to be blindsided when Ozzy was booted; her Good Cop/Bad Cop routine with Andrea, her insistence to ALWAYS refer to Sarah as “FirstOfficerSarah” and her secret mentorhood of Michaela. Like Michaela, Cirie’s deep relationships with everyone fleshed her out like a real person, despite several instances of gamebothood.

I suppose now is the time I address her outrageous exit?

So, Advantagegeddon. Cirie getting default-elim’ed because she didn’t have a Ridiculous, Overpowered Rigged Advantage up her sleeve is absoutely fucking BULLSHIT no matter how you slice it. I have no doubts production was hoping something like this would happen at the Final six, just not to Cirie lol, WHOOPS. It totally backfired and will hurt the franchise, mark my words. Survivor is a social game first and a strategic game second and this meritocratic TREASURE HUNT it’s turning into undercuts its basic mechanics. For it to claim the one person commonly regarded as the best player to never win was just... the worst possible outcome? (or best, if it leads to the number of advantages getting culled in future seasons but i’m not getting my hopes up.)

But there’s always the returnee ouroboros to fall back on. Her and JaredGOD (

) for BVW3 plz.

5. Tai Trang Nuku 4th place

On paper, I shouldn’t care too much about Tai: an idol-finding gremlin who streaks and says weird things and talks about the game a lot... MEH

In practice, holy shit he owns. Sinewy, sixty-year old challenge beast gaysian <3 Tai had the best idol-related storylines in the franchise and his idoling of Malcolm was for sure epic. He instigated Advantageggeddon and as much as the moment itself sucked, the back-and-forth paranoia between him and Cirie leading up to it was great. He talked about The Game a lot, in a mr Hyunh-like voice (lolracist), only to succumb to language barrier-induced confusion and panic. His flakiness also inadvertently destroyed whatever remained Culpepper’s social game, lmfao <3 Mess with Taingel and get electrocuted by the halo!!!

Tai’s non-game related content was pretty great as well. Not everyone can pull of stuff such as “loving chickens” and “streaking” but he did, effortlessly and naturally. Tai setting the chickens loose, only for them to shit all over Cirie <3 Streaking at the one reward because “MY BOYFRIEND AND I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT GETTING NAKED IN ARKENSAS”. <3 It was fun. I shouldn’t counterpoint this with not-fun instances such as fake-drunk Debbie (X_X) mooning him at the merge feast, but our collective Dillip ptsd must all bear witness.

IMMA VOMIT -- Malcolm, Tai, all of us.

6. Sierra Dawn Thomas Nuku 9th place

Alol I can’t even type out her name without being reminded of how Sandra pronounces it. SYEAH-RAW. DAWWWWWN. TAW-MAS.

I kind of LOVE Sierra and I’m not sure if I can explain it properly. She just... really clicks with me? She’s a fun overdog, a scrappy underdog and a comitted townsperson, which means she’s good in pretty much every situation she’s in. As in World’s Apart, she is a disarmingly normal and relatable person among a cast of crazed goons. In Game Changers, this of course meant production had no clue what to do with her, so they made her a non-entity... except lolwhoops they didn’t because she kept tumbling into relevancy time and time over <3

After the highest heights of the Double Tribe Tribal (the Kiss may actually be my famo of the season, in fact?

), Sierra hunkered down and wrapped Culpepper around her finger and somehow became the New Sheriff In Town around the merged tribe. An UTR floater from a hated season who was a replacement for Natalie Anderson calling the shots on a season dubbed “Game Changers” <3 I love how this universe functions, sometimes.

7. Troy “Troyzan” Robertson Mana 3rd place

um, i know right? I was TERRIFIED of Troy “Troyhard” Robertson going into the season. I was SURE his getting owned by an alliance of women would have fed his macho ego and turned him full misogynist in addition to his Wacky Self-Serving Memebase Existence. Instead the Kim ptsd emasculated him and drove him into Queen Sandra’s arms, lol <3

Troy was barely on this show, but bear with me. I’ll take a non-entity with a fun and funny edit (everyone CONSTANTLY coddling him like he was a danger to himself AND others <3) over a potential chauvinist pig. Especially when said non-entity was the ONLY male on the original Mana tribe to cockblock Tony’s all-male, anti-Sandra alliance <3 Early Game Changers truly was Sandra’s Island, y’all.

lmao @ his FTC arguments tho

troy: i wasn’t surprused i made it to the end, because i played a really good game² ^__^ jury: ²[citation needed] troy: uhh i suppose i didn’t, whoops, my bad. *deletes his mental wikia page*

8. Hali Ford Mana 13th place

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ <-- Hali’s entire existence on this season.

You can preeeeetty much c/p my World’s Apart write-up for Hali here. She was once again an endearingly weird random, nuanced slightly differently? She didn’t spend her time fetishing over the constitution or regaling what her fourth and fourtheenth favourite things in life are, but in the neverending game of musical thrones which was Game Changers she was a random townsperson who loathed Brad Culpepper (and Culpepper loathed her too?), which worked me too, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hali: “please take culpepper out. i beg you -_-” sandra: “k gurl” jt: “nope” sandra: “...hali?” hali: “u do u, guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ”

and then was targeted over residu floaterhood and became collateral damage in Sierra and Culpepper’s Plan To Oust Michaela. Sadly, Michaela and Cirie had already bonded, dooming Hali, who proved too peripheral to be worthy of saving. Oh well, it could’ve been worse (I.E.: Michaela going), I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. Malcolm Freberg Mana 17th place

Much like how Sandra going early caused her to shown at the full extent of her sass and pizzazz, so does Malcolm benefit from being booted pre-merge. This was easily his most intrinsically likable appearance; *shockingly* without the otherwise omnipresent Golden Boy Edit blinding us... I wonder whether there’s any correlation???

But yeah Malcolm “at his best” to me is him as an analytic narrator/hapless follower and he provided that. He was the ONLY person to openly gun for Sandra while simultaneously understanding why she’s dangerous (ie: not being like “Sandra won TWICE... that must mean something... right??”): that she just doesn’t give a FUCK about anything but her own survival when push comes to shove <3

But we’re mostly here because of Malcolm’s reaction to being idoled out. You know, taking your exit with grace is one thing, but Malcolm is hilariously bad at losing with dignity and thank goodness he is. His reaction to losing the IC in Philippines after fumbling his rigged advantage is my fave non-Abi, non-COOKIES?? moment of that season, ngl. If defeat was a picture, it would look like this:

FWD to this season: "IMMA VOMIT!!!" & “JT IS NOT GETTING A CHRISTMAS CARD, KID COULDN’T KEEP HIS STUPID MOUTH SHUT *supernovas during final words*" hysterical.

10. Sarah Lacina Nuku Sole Survivor

For someone who is fundamentally boring, FirstOfficerSarah had several good moments. I mean, her “last time, I played like a cop, this time I play like a *CRIMINAL*” was the superobvious impetus to kick the Generic Winner Arc into motion, so I happily zoned out of most of the Sarah content... only to be pulled in by a random, unexpected fun moment at the turn of a dime???

“MOST PEOPLE CAN’T TELL WHETHER THE LICENSE PLATE THEY’RE DRIVING WITH IS OUT OF DATE ON SIGHT... *raises hand* I CAN ^__^” A+ Coach refs <3.

Other things I enjoyed: the way she handled her Vote Steal Advantage (this game had too. many. fucking. advantages.), pawing it off to Cirie, only to be like “welllll actually it’s non-transferable, it says so at the bottom, ... so... can you give it back now? I plan on using it tonight :)” holy crap stone cold. <3 And the breakdowns. The breakdown DURING Transgate, interrogating Varnercunt about his vile behaviour while calling out all the inconsistencies in his story <3 her breakdown AFTER Transgate, concluding Zeke Smith is the best (only) transgender she ever met in her life <3 Her breakdown AT the family visit upon seeing her.. idk... hubby? boyfriend? whatever Wayne is <3

In conclusion, Congratulations, Sarah, you were an acceptable Boring Gamebot Winner!! That being said, the memory of her becomes ever more distant, akin to a tumbleweed rolling downwind in the desert...

11. Tony Vlahos Mana 19th Place

BAI TONY!!! :) SAY HI TO CIERA FOR ME!!! :) The knowledge that Tony didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell in going far made him far easier to stomach this go around. This was of course aided by his own obnoxious machinations; for ex: Upon landing at Mana beach he immediately (immediately.) brayed “IMMA LOOK FOR THE IDOL, SEE YA!!!! LOLOLOLO” and darted in to the jungle. <3 Psychotic, bellowing monsterbeasts are so much better when everyone’s in on the joke. Sadly, Tony then OF COURSE had to show is ass by turning on Queen Sandra *sigh*. Oh well, at least we know who won that battle. It also had the added bonus of making TROY situationally funny: Troy catching him in the act of digging out his “Spy Bunker” and making Tony explain why he’s all frantic and covered in dust and debris. <3 and when Tony tried rallying all of the men against Sandra, Troy REFUSED because he was already tucked under her sassy wing. WILL THE SANDRA OWNAGE EVER END????

12. Aubry Bracco Mana 5th place

I really like Aubry as a human!!! kick-ass aspergers princess <3 but she was barely on this show when you reflect on it. She had a token confessional every ep to narrate the strategic events to which she was tangentially related. Not bad, but in terms of personal development it’s nothing.

Her epic anxious aspie self eventually DID emerge at the F7 round buuuuut too little to late. It felt like a hollow non-sequitur to me. “LOOK AT AUBRY BEING AUBRY. :) SEE? :) SAME OLD AUBRY :) NOW THAT’S SETTLED, LET’S GET ON WITH ~THE GAME~ FOREVERMORE” cool storytelling, braz. I also did NOT enjoy the valedictorian Aubry/Probst one-two-punch at the end of every tribal council, trying to pimp ~The Game~ as if it were anything more than baseborn arithmetic. “WOW Aubry :o This Tribal Council has really been GAME CHANGING hasn’t it” “Mhm Jeff, I wonder how much the GAME will CHANGE after the vote :)” x at least half a dozen times, are you f’king kidding me.

13. Brad Culpepper Nuku Runner-Up

Culpepper was perfectly adequate this season. His time amounted to a whole bunch of whitemediocre strategy noises and superawkward sociodynamics that were honestly too awkward to appreciate. Luckily those inherently Not Good qualities were transmuted through the Monica megaphone making them Not Bad :)

It is enough to colour Brad a very pale chartreuse once put through the red/yellow/green feelings-as-colours prism. He had a handful of quirks (Brad the Interior Decorator <3 “What do you mean, GO FISH??? O_O” <3 Being the Matt von Ertfelda to Troy’s Butch Locksley <3 (wait does that make Sierra the Cesternino? discuss.)) and a few Not Good Moments (browbeating Tai, Michaelousy)

In the end, it all balances out to neutrality. Brad’s story was a reiteration of his spouse’s, nobody does Monica better but Monica. Not Brad, Monica.

lol I thought I’d have more to say about Brad, but I don’t. Sorry boo.

14. Caleb Bankston Mana 18th place

Caleb was on this season? Like, not even POKING at his being cast as a “Game Changer”, which is pretty suspect in itself, it actually felt like he wasn’t on S34 at all?

lol what did he even do? umm, he pecked Tai on the cheek once, which... isn’t it precious when douchebro’s try to enforce their bromoerotic routine with an actually gay person, but that’s not how it functions. Bromosexuality with a homosexual is just homosexuality, Caleb, I’m so sorry to tell you [/karajanx]. He also had immediately bonded with his other “bro” Tony (... Brony?) and therefore became a semi-sentient anti-Sandra voice. Still voted Tony off anyway tho lol.

And then he was swapfucked and used as a human sacrifice to grant Hali Ford just enough good fortune hoodoo to stumble into the merge. Which... is the best outcome I could’ve hoped for. If Hali doesn’t make the merge, Michaela gets voted off at the F13, robbing us of her Cirielliance and “GO FISH”, making this season way worse. So gratz for being the meatshield for another meatshield, I guess!

15. Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth Nuku 12th place

Ozzy was... IMMENSELY boring this time around, yep i’ve said it, dwi. Ozzy’s personality is notable for its basic smugness (</3) and delusional self-entitlement (<3) but neither side showed itself, so why should I bother with whatever bland husk was left behind?

Seriously though, Ozzy solely existed as the physical gestalt of the long-haired, athletic, situationally relevant (citation needed on the last one though) white male who catches fish. Apparently that’s all it takes to be the OVERWHELMING fan favourite (um until Transgate oops) with the fraudience. Jesus fucking Christ, I’ll never understand.

That said, I did enjoy his aforementionned dynamic with Cirie. (“she targets me... she targets me not *picks the petals off an imaginary forget-me-not*”) only to stumble into her side at the merge through their shared Andrealliance. A pity this potentially interesting relationship was whisked out of the spotlight like HvV Colberri was in favour of more STRATEGY TALK. Obladi, Oblada, life goes on~

16. Ciera Eastin Mana 20th place

Ciera is often cited as one of Survivor’s biggest game-changers because she VOTED OUT HER MOM... in a unanimous vote.... that was orchestrated by the opposing alliance for splitting up the last remaining family pair in the game... in which she had no say whatsoever, so she just jumped on the bandwagon. SUCH A “GAME CHANGER”!!!

Since then, Ciera has been retconned as ~The Brains Behind That Operation~ and spends her time haranguing others about MAKING BIG MOOOOOVES like she once "made”. *BARF*

As expected, she *immediately* started off her usual spiel by badgering her tribe mates on day two about BIG MOOOOVES. I don’t even remember whom she targeted. I think Tony and Sandra? Wait, the fact that everyone else was already targeting Tony and Sandra at that point proves that it was :) . It is fortunate she did though because it reminded everyone what an annoying brat Ciera Eastin truly is and nixed her at the first opportunity <3

17. James “JT” Thomas Nuku 16th place

As sure as day follows night, so sure can we be James Thomas Jr. is going to overthink a situation and clown himself if Stephen Fishbach isn’t there to hold him by the hand.

Credit where it’s due, JT instigated one of the best tribal councils ever. JT assuming that Culpepper would vote off Sandra based on sweet nothings and then informing him he was voting Sierra so they could idol Sandra out was “Cersei Reinstitutes the Faith Millitant” levels of accidental self-destruction. It created the pandemonic hellscape we all know and love: The Mana’s dancing on the ashes whilst Sierra bestows the Kiss of Death upon a devastated (understatement) Malcolm; Hali and Aubry’s jaws almost literally dropping to the ground, and JT and Sandra both coming close to tears as both of their plans went hilariously awry. It was EPIC and JT put that in motion.

That said, I find him sooooo smug and Michaelous that I just can’t help but dislike his pillsbury doughboy existence. Like, who cares if Michaela eats too much sugar, you just GOT YOUR ONLY ALLY BOOTED, sit back and eat a slice humble pie. Luckily Sandra was there to mess with his g-ddamn’ mind, eat the sugar, make him feel safe and then mercilessly slitted his throat while he had an idol in his [proverbial because he didn’t even bring it to TC with him lolol] pocket. And people still wonder why Sandra is the best.

18. Ezekiel “Zeke” Smith Nuku 10th place

Ugh, Zeke.

Now, I understand that Zeke is notionally interesting and even likable as a “transmale who is more than just his gender”, but my first instincts were always to be wary of him. it wasn‘t until Andrea articulated her own reasons for disliking Zeke (um, the non-self-serving one), that I understood why I had disliked him myself.

As a transmale, Zeke wishes to prove he’s more than his transgender status, a plight I sympathize with. However, in doing so, Zeke inadvertantly ruins the seasons he’s on.

(1) his in-game personality is really barren and insipid. because Zeke avoided talking about himself or his past beyond what is skin deep, he really only talks about ~The Game~ and *snore*. Who on earth is Zeke Smith? I saw two back-to-back seasons of him and I have no bloody clue. This creates the paradox of Zeke’s transgender status being his most notable trait, by sheer force of being the ONLY ~personal~ thing we learned about him. By ignoring it, Zeke is pretty much no different from like... every other droning gamebot this show has produced.

(2) he actively goes after good people. Zeke’s way of getting the confirmation he craves so desperately is to establish himself as a Big Character/Great Player on a reality tv show. I do believe he’s self-aware enough to realize he doesn’t have the panache of a Sandra or a Cirie or even an Andrea but not self-aware enough to realize/accept he’s too bland to ever fill the rifts left in the space vacuum by their potential exits. In Zeke’s mind’s eye, he WANTS to be a Sandra. Ergo, he constantly targets people (mostly women or beta males) who are superior to him in both intellect and personality... I surely can’t be the only one detecting a Girl-Hating Girl vibe from this sort of playstyle, right???

As for transgate, eh. Definitely a memorable moment and one where I sided with Zeke, but it was epic because of others: Andrea breaking down and sobbing, complete with crodocile tears, Tai SCREAMING hard truths in broken English at a backpedaling Jeff Varner, Sarah pointing out inconsistencies and hypocrisies and being SHELL SHOCKED by her first sentent experiences with a transgender person. Zeke himself though, just stared and sat there doe-eyed, taking a moment to ponder philosophically about his ~metamorphosis~. On a human level the correct way to go about the sitch, on an enterainment level valium incarnate .

Ultimately, Zeke is TOO BORING to truly dislike even, and that’s precisely why I do and must? He’s clearly not made for reality television, he’s too earnest and reserved for a game he doesn’t even play well. Idk, Zeke, you’ll have to do something else for a living. Now, I heard there’s a job vacancy for an LGBT councillor in North Carolina...

19. Debbie Wanner Nuku 11th place

When it comes down to “Putting Up A Character”, only two things can happen. Either you’re hilarious or horrific. This season Debbie pole-vaulted from the Coach/JFP side of the spectrum over to Corinneville and never looked back.

I refuse to recount any of her many insidious attempts at camera-muggery; they all boiled down to the same tired rhetoric of “AHA! I KNOW NOW MUCH YOU LOVE DELUDED OLD DEBBIE!! WATCH ME SAY SOMETHING DELUSIONAL OR DO SOMETHING CRAZY!!! PLEASE POINT AND LAFF. HA HA HA. I’M SO FUNNEH :)” bitch that shit only works when you DON’T fling it in our faces 24/sevs. I wouldn’t mind if she had any wits or originality about her, but nope, she’s just an arsehole. :)

People claim "Game Changers” ruined her, but, to paraphrase my Bio lecturer after I flunked my internship last year, ultimately it was Debbie who ruined herself, so~

lol this was prolly the shortest write-up of them all too. What an epic character.

20. Jeff Varner Mana 14th place

Ho, boy, it’s time to discuss Transgate, isn’t it? -___- I’m not even going to pretend like Jeff Varner’s presence of this season had any other bearing. Neither am I going to dissertate “Should’ve Known Better” scenarios because Varner - working as he did at an LGBT organization based in NorCar - definitely knew better.

Fortunately, none of his tribemates were having any of it. I can’t recap this entry any better than having them do all the work for me. Roll that tape: Varner: “What I’m showing is a Deception-” [nb: um weren’t you a pretend bisexual at the time of S2??] Debbie: "That isn’t a deception in a strategic game, I don’t think so :-/” Varner: “Jeff; I argue for the rights of transgender people on a daily basis in the State of North Carolina. I’m just fighting for my life here. I’m not outing him” Tai: “BUT YOU *ARE* OUTING HIM!!!! YOU JUST OUTED HIM!!!” Varner: “I don’t want people to have this perception I am some evil and horrible person” Andrea: “So... what *was* your goal in doing that, then?” Probst: “so, Jeff, you just equated “keeping your identity hidden” to a full-blown deception... isn’t that a giant leap? Don’t you see that’s kind of really bad?” Varner: “Oh I do see that, I feel bad about it. I support ya, Zeke~” Probst: “Dude, you can’t unring the bell-” Varner: “Imnotunringingthebellimapologizingtozeke” Ozzy: “You should be ASHAMED of yourself :-/ You’re playing with people’s lives at this point.” Varner: “I made a horrible mistake. I really thought he was out and loud and proud about it-” Sarah: “if you thought he was out and proud about it, then why were you making a point that everyone should know? Varner: “because we haven’t discussed it” Sarah: (talking over him) “Because he’s *NOT* out and loud and proud about it.”

At the end of the gay, he really only cared about not coming off as the Bad Person, which... ouch. There’s no rock bottom to his dignity when a mil is at stake, is there, huh?

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anxiousheart4 · 5 years ago

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Looking for a Lifeline!

I know it's been a while since I’ve posted in my own words, in fact it's been almost a year, I’m sorry for that. I’ve always been terrible at keeping up with journaling, so why would I think blogging would be any different? Lol.

If you haven’t noticed, I am a fan of TWLOHA and its message to everyone. I've always followed them, and they mean a great deal to me. So I hope in my absence, you’ve enjoyed the posts of theirs I've been sharing. 🙂

Anyways, I don’t have any really good excuse for while I haven’t posted for a long while (well I do between Thanksgiving and Christmas last year, but not since then), and I even got a new laptop this year, that works SOOOO much better then my old, glitchy, slow ass one; so not having a computer can’t be my excuse. And I've had a lot of free time this Summer, so I can’t even say I was busy either. Basically no excuse, but I’m back; so lets catch up.

So, between Thanksgiving and Christmas I was working 4 jobs!

-Mon-Fri 8am-4pm at an office job that I hated.

-Sat & Sun at the Zoo taking kids photos with Santa

-And then Mon-Fri nights, I switched between working at my local GameStop, and helping at my other local Zoo taking Santa photos as well.

The office job I was working was doing bookkeeping at a nursing home. I met some nice residents there, and some mean ones. I met some nice co-workers, and some I didn’t quite get along with. There was 3 other girls in my office.

One was extremely nice and helpful, and patient with trying to teach me, I got along with her quite well. I would actually have conversations with her, and it felt like she did want to get to know me.

Another was the Boss’ wife, and she was nice and all, but also very intimidating, and she never made me feel welcomed; she would be having a conversation with the other 2 girls, but as soon as I tried to join the conversation it was like “we got to get back to work” and the conversation stopped.

And the last girl, I would have thought I would have gotten along with her so well, we have the same taste in music and tv shows, I was like oh yay we can bond! NOPE! I did everything she gave me to do, and asked me to do and it was never good enough, or fast enough, or competent enough, or just enough. She made me feel like a complete failure! And unless she needed me for something, it was like I didn’t even exist! She would go out for lunch, and ask the other 2 girls in the office if they wanted her to bring back anything, and she never even looked my way and asked me once, never! Seriously the best days at work were when she didn’t come in for some reason or another.

Besides the one girl, no one else ever tried to make me feel welcomed in the office, I spent 6 months of my life feeling like an outcast at work, looking for a lifeline, just trying to survive. Apparently the girls in the office went out after work and hung out together, not like I was ever invited to join and get to know them. Instead I went to the movie theater next to work where a friend of mine was a manager and would stop in to see her or go see a movie all by myself. The only time I was ever invited out with them was when they would go to lunch for someones birthday, and still I think that was mostly because every one split the bill evenly except the birthday girl (which I do approve of), so it was a little less money for everyone else. Only the one girl made me feel like I was actually welcomed, otherwise I just listened to their conversations, cause no one seemed to wanna include me. And Surprise Surprise! They never did anything for my birthday! They do all this stuff for the employees birthdays, bring in breakfast, go out to lunch, decorate their office, etc. all I got was a generic card they did for everyone “Happy Birthday from ’The Companies Name’”.

I think one thing that can make even the worst job in the world bearable, is your co workers. I’ve had some terrible jobs, but I had some awesome co workers, so I didn’t dread going to work as much everyday because I got to see them. Safe to say, most of my coworkers there never made me feel like a coworker, a friend, or anything else. I went to work everyday dreading the next 8 hours of my life. When I got let go, I never even said good bye to any of the other people who worked I the building, I only said good bye to the nice one in my office and that’s it. So the ONLY things I liked about the job, was that I got to sit down to work, and the money, oh the money! I miss the money soo bad! But the job gave me SOOO much stress and anxiety, idk if it was worth the money. 😞

Although, I was able to buy my new computer, a MacBook Air, and I have wanted a MacBook since I was in high school, I just could never afford it.

My other jobs, were pretty good, only minor complaints. But I LOVED my coworkers at the other 3 jobs! The biggest complaint was that I had no time to myself because I was so busy.

Gamestop was cool, after only being there for a couple weeks they interviewed me for a supervisor position, they believed I was competent enough! The only reason I didn’t take it, was cause I got the office job, and I couldn’t turn down the money (though now I wish I hadn’t, it would have saved me soo much stress and anxiety). So I stayed seasonal, so when the holiday season was over, my employment was over there.

The one Zoo I worked at during the week, I've worked at for years now, and I love it, and the guys who play Santa are sooo nice, I get some really nice guests, and 90% of the time everything goes smoothly, and I actually hang out with my coworkers outside of work!

The other Zoo I worked at Sat & Sun was pretty much the same as the first Zoo, I love my co workers, and actually hang out with them outside of work. The big complaint about that Zoo, was the guy who played Santa. HE WAS AN ASSHOLE! He had an opinion on everything, and had a problem with how we run our business, and he wouldn’t even let the kids tell him what they wanted for Christmas. We told him we wanted to get a picture of the kids talking to him, and he would tell the kids to “look at him and PRETEND to tell him what they wanted” and then as soon as I took the photo, even if the kid was in the middle of something he would just kick the kid off his lap and move on to the next family. I’m sorry, but if I had kids, I would definitely NOT want them to go see that Santa! I don’t see how so many people line up to see him, and he’s been Santa at the Zoo for years! How has he not lost the Zoo business! But I still like my job, so I'm going back again this year! Lol

Anyways, so that was my holidays, as were coming up to another holiday, lol.

After the holidays, and my busy schedule, I went to Arizona and Mexico for 10 days, and it was AMAZING and relaxing, with only a few hiccups. Like an all inclusive resort without free wifi! What is that? I was gonna use wifi to check in with family back home, but that didn’t happen! And the the room was falling apart, and one of our rooms had bugs in it, and maids didn’t clean very well, like wtf kind of resort was this? But besides that, I got to see and hang out with my sister from another mister who lives in AZ and I don’t get to see often. We went line dancing, which was FANTASTIC! I got to spend my 29th birthday in Mexico, Florida, and AZ + flying over the states between! And with the time difference my birthday lasted 26 hours instead of 24! And I didn’t think about work once during the whole trip until they day I had to come back, and it was because I didn’t wanna come back and go to work!

WOW this is getting long, I'm sorry, only a couple more topics I need to talk out. Its been a very stressful year!

Well after I lost the office job, I've been pretty much Ubering for money, and not making too much of it. But all summer I got to spend weekends going to Bridal/Baby Showers, Weddings and family parties, which I've never really gotten to do before (well besides the weddings, I've never missed a family wedding), so that was awesome! And the weekends we didn’t have an parties, I went up north to my family’s summer home, which my parents just got about 2 years ago, and I’ve barely been able to go before. Which is soo much fun! Ice cream socials, the pool, bonfires, drinking games, bar hoping out on the boat! Nothing about it isn’t fun! So YAY!

If you remember, last November I moved in with my 93 year old grandma with dementia. This experience has been stressful. She spends her days trying to call her mother and grandmother, who are at the cemetery; pacing around the house; she puts dirty dishes in the dishwasher away and washes clean dishes twice; she sets the air conditioning and heat up to 80 degrees, I swear she’s trying to kill me. Its very hard, but I love her, and I love that I get this time to spend with her. And thank god for my mom who is only a call away to help with grandma when my anxiety is through the roof and I can’t deal with her atm, I wouldn’t survive this without her!

This week is going to try me though. I’m staying home all week with grandma, because she just had surgery. She had skin cancer on her nose, and they had to remove it. She’s fine, but she has a bandage on her nose that she isn’t suppose to take off, and yet she does like every time I look away, she’s not supposed to irritate it by touching it or blowing her nose, but she tries to blow her nose every 5 mins. And she’s suppose to sit down and relax with her head back so it doesn’t start bleeding again, I swear she won’t stay sitting if her life depended on it. Ill probably write more about living with her at a later date, but Ill leave it to that now.

Lastly, while I was sitting down writing the blog post, I got a call that just devastated me. My grandma on my other side, has been having some health issues the last week and it has not been looking good, I was going to go see her tomorrow night. Well my mom called me to let me know that she passed away tonight. She was 82 years old, and though she would technically be my step-grandma, she was the only one I ever knew on that side, and I loved her just the same. My dads mom died of tuberculosis probably about a decade before I was born, but my grandpa remarried an amazing woman, and some of my extended family had trouble accepting her (the cousins opinions, usually based on their parents, who probably thought she was trying to take their mothers place, like some kids react to a step mom), but I always saw her as grandma. What kills me is the last time I saw her, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye! It was my cousins wedding at the beginning of October, and even though I talked to her during the wedding, when she left that night, I was out on the dance floor or somewhere, and didn’t know she was leaving, so I never said goodbye. And now I'll never have the chance too!! I know she knew I loved her, and though her body was deteriorating, her mind was still has sharp as ever! She was a sweetheart! And my sister and I kept saying we were going to go visit her and bring her dinner, or watch the Blackhawks game with her, and as much as we said it, we barely ever went, and I really wish we had! She was an amazing woman and I’m so happy I got to call her Grandma, but I’m going to regret not spending more time with her when I could, especially near the end! When my Grandpa died, over 15 years ago, I had actually seen him the week before, and gave him a hug and kiss goodbye before I left. Plus he died 2 days after Christmas, and he used to give all the grand children $10 for Christmas (there was 29 of us at the time so for him that was still a lot of money), so I had gotten one last Christmas present from him, which I never spent. I have $10 just sitting in a jewelry box, because nothing ever seemed important enough to spend it on. And after he died I was given his guitar, which I still cherish! I fear I won’t have nothing but 1 picture with my grandma to remember her by. Its going to be hard to say goodbye! 😭

So since its 2 am, and I've been holding back tears while I've been writing this post, and my anxiety and depression will probably be bad this week, I think its time for me to go to bed. Sweet Dreams sweet readers!

#twloha towriteloveonherarms

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morewritingforourcharacters · 6 years ago

Text

The Dinner Gambit

There was a distinct sense of dread that came over Quasi-Legal Thunder as he carefully replaced the ingredients he was using back in a box on the floor- supplies he bought himself to keep from using Fif’s carefully proportioned stocks. The blue haired comedian was playing a dangerous game and he knew it, but he was hoping it was a gamble that he could win for a reward - his wife’s eternal appreciation, especially in the wake of their last yelling match.

Fif was out right now on a dayspa trip and Quasi found himself grateful for the time. As per the usual, they had gotten into one of their steaming arguments and Quasi had decided to get away from the situation for a couple days. It was that alien invasion nonsense again. Only sometimes did it raised its ugly head between them - but when it did, it often left the pair of them feeling hurt and waspish. When he’d come back yesterday afternoon, after they both agreed they’d have a good cool off, she revealed that she had made this spa day plan some time ago. He didn’t think much of it either way, just glad to be able to come back and apologized before she got a chance to complain about his absence. However, earlier today he got a panicked call from Fif, angrily gasping about the reservation that she had put in to one of the local restaurants cancelling on her - ruining the dinner plans, and therefore, her entire day. In Quasi’s usual fashion, he soothed his wife with words of comfort and assurance - that he would pull a few strings and get things sorted out with their stacks of cash; however, once he closed the call, he came up with a brilliant idea - he would cook the dinner himself! But he would do it in the more neutral zone of their backyard. He thought himself pretty clever, renting a grill and a portable stove top so he could cook out back without braving the kitchen. This had all worked out rather wonderfully- until he realized that he needed a dessert… and an oven.

So now here he was, wrist deep in cookie dough and desperately attempting to keep everything as clean as a whistle. He knew he had time, the friends she took with her were the type to keep her busy even if she didn’t want to be. She had gone with Marzipan, Silicone and maybe Saffon? That one was confusing, as Fif said that Saffon wasn’t sure if she could make it… but Silicone was certain that she would be there. As Quasi worked, a screen floated through the air, attached to his fruit shaped AIOS - though he had forgotten yet again what that fruit was called. Upon the screen was the partial face of Quasi’s friend and ally, the consummate bachelor Pliers.

He had been called to discuss potentials for Quasi’s future endeavors into entertainment- a subject which interested both of them in decent measure. “I dunno about magic tricks, Pliers. I can make a brownie pan disappear and a joke appear out of thin air, but that's about the extent of my knowledge.” Quasi chuckled to himself, finding that calling Pliers had done wonders for his nerves as he braved the shrine of his peevish and wrathful wife. “I’d watch that. Have you ever been in a professional eating contest? Some say they’re cheating to impress, but when competing you might be the one to best.” Pliers rattled off a rhyme, one of those things that he often did along with his other peculiar behaviors - though Quasi didn’t know why he did it. He wasn’t a showman - but the comedian could only conclude it was for his own entertainment. Quasi grinned and shook his head ruefully, unable to keep up with Pliers nonsensical wit. “Fif would kill me if I ever went to an eating contest. She’s been awful about my weight recently- She’s started keeping track by the grams, now. I’m tellin’ ya, I don’t think I’ll survive the year.” Quasi stirred the batch of cookie dough with his hands until it was a semi-sticky mess. He paused thoughtfully for a moment and instinctually scratched his beard- then regretting it immediately for the dough that was now flecked in it. “Ack- well if I'm going to die anyway, I guess I should at least put that on my list of considerations. One last hurrah before my wife diets me into oblivion.” He chuckled warmly, his hate and affection hitting him in equal measure. The even dollops of cookie dough were dropped into metal rounds so that they could be perfectly circular, pliers humming thoughtfully in the background. “Hm, with how often you brave your wife’s temperament, you could be a daredevil.” Quasi let out a forceful ‘Ha!’ in response, grinning maliciously at the suggestion.

“I think that's the most promising idea yet. Man versus Wife: Deathmatch. You could narrate it like a wrestling commentator.” Quasi said as he looked at his dirty dishes and hands with a lost, desperate look in his eye. What did he do now? He turned around to look at the sinks, exasperation sinking in. Which one was the handwashing sink again? Ah… Maybe he should just use the bathroom sink to wash his hands. Yeah, he would do that.

The sound of Pliers narrating an episode of ‘Man Versus Wife’ followed him as he made his way up the stairs. “-Pink lady winds up with a good tongue lashing. This might be it for little boy blue.”

Outside, Quasi stood nervously pulling at the collar of his best shirt, waiting in the garden foyer for his wife to arrive with her friends. He was pretty sure he had gotten rid of all the evidence: He’d thrown away all the bowls and utensils he had bought to use while cooking, hid his barbecue in the neighbors backyard and used only new dishes he had bought today with Pliers in tow. Of course, neither of them knew a thing about matching tableware, but one consultation call to Boss cleared the whole thing right up.

But even with all these precautions taken, Quasi couldn’t help but feel like he had overlooked something. Some miniscule detail that he would never think of that would give the whole game away. However, that concern would have to be dealt with later as he heard Fif’s RisenDOD hum up and the bird-like chattering of three women. Well… Two women and Silicone. They walked through the front gate and Quasi greeted them pleasantly with a wave of his hand, immediately noting how tense Fif looked. “Geez, don’t you guys look refreshed.” He commented with amused sarcasm, looking pointedly between Fif and Saffron; both stiff as corpses.

Sillicone immediately chimed in. “We had a great time! Fif has the best tastes, so I knew it was going to be fun, but I didn’t expect it to be so relaxing.” He said smiling from ear to ear as he clutched his girlfriend's hand inside her technicolor jacket.

“Oh yeah… I was faaaantastic.” Marzipan said as she shifted her ample hip to one side, her tone a sort of saccharine coo that indicated less than the whole truth. The blue haired Dagian could only imagine how Fif passive aggressively expressed her stress throughout the day - and it was all likely pointed at Marz, since Silicone and Saffron weren't the sorts to take to that one way or the other.

Fif sighed exasperatedly, clearly wishing that Quasi would just get on with where they were eating that night. “Sooo.” Fif started off with a strained smile. “Don’t hold us in suspense, Quasi. Where are we going for dinner?” The annoyance on her voice was pronounced, surely heightened by all his ambiguous texts about where he was taking them for dinner.

Quasi suddenly felt himself afraid to actually say it... Would she accept this scenario at all? Or would it be a bad idea no matter how he spun it? Oh, boy… Suddenly his mouth felt awfully dry.

Well there was no room for hesitation now- it was time to put that salesman swagger on. “Well, sweetheart, you’ll be happy to know I got a spot at the best joint in town.” Quasi stepped over to her and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her along the path to the backyard. She nearly sputtered at him for pulling her away from the car, but due to the company, she had to keep her sheer indignance to herself.

“I wish you wouldn’t call them ‘joints’, sweetie.” She said with through gritting teeth. “It makes it sound like we’re going to a fast-food place. Why are we going to the back-” Quasi shushed her and waved for everyone to follow behind, which they were doing already. “I’ll tell ya in a second. I had the best cooks make up somethin’ real special. Grilled Sorna steak, Dewsbi melon hash, Junjun and watercrest salad-” They got to the back of the house and Quasi flourished out one of his big hands as if to display the spread out before them. “Made by me!” He didn’t know what it was that made Fif go so pale… Maybe it was the fact that they were eating in the backyard? Maybe the fact that he cooked everything? or maybe because Pliers and Kinse were lounging in the lawn chairs in collared shirts, messy hair, ties and sunglasses… Whatever it was, she looked almost as if she was gonna faint. Think Quasi, think!

The desperate husband steadied Fif, who’s pale face was beginning to blush red with stifled exasperation. He opened his mouth to say something- anything- “Oh my gosh! Oh, wow! It looks so great! And smells delicious!” Silicone’s bright optimism cut through the dread like a hot knife through butter. It seemed to give the married pair pause, both looking back at him with expressions of quiet desperation. “Mmmmm ohhh definitely… Looks super! Wow! And you even brought my brother! How did that happen?” Saffron seemed to almost wheeze the words rather than speak them.

“Good choices, I was just thinking I haven’t had a Sorna steak in a long time.” Marz said with a small smile, her big eyes fixed on the larger of the two lounging figure. “Good of you to join us, hotshot!” She called out, sweeping past them to make a not so convincing coy entrance. Silicone and Saffron were a touch more polite, waiting for Fif and Quasi to stop being alarmed. Eventually they both invited Saffron and Silicone to sit down, Quasi glancing at Fif’s face- happy to notice her face was a touch less flushed. “Heh uh… Well-” Her hawklike eyes pinned him still and he found himself drawing his arms up in surrender.

“You used… my kitc-” Her fuming started again, but Quasi shook his head vigorously. “No-no no! I didn’t, I swear. I-- I actually hired a caterer to come over and cook. They did it all in the backyard with their own equipment, then packed up and left. I swear, I just thought they mighta felt bad knowing I spent so much on them… So I just said it was me. I swear everything is good.” So it was a little bit of a fib- but it was a fib, he saw, that paid off. Fif’s face visibly relaxed. She was by no means happy about this, but she let out an exasperated sigh and seemed to accept it for what it was.

“Hmph… Well, I guess that’ll have to do. Catering companies aren’t as good as restaurants, though- augh… Why did you let Pliers and Frankincense come dressed like that? And look at how they’re slouching.” She rattled off frustrated complaints, tucking a stray hair of his behind his ear while she did. Quasi smiled down at his exasperated wife, hand coming up to hold her hip while she chattered. He looked over to his friends, they had already gathered around the table and were just waiting for them to come, already pouring themselves drinks- which would be another point of ire once she noticed it. --

“Ah that wasn’t so bad, sweetheart.” Quasi sighed at Fif as they watched everyone's cars leave for the night. “I guarantee no one noticed.” Fif, though, was still ruffled. “Yes they did, Quasi! I could see the look of disgust on Marz’s face when she took a bite of that hash… And I tasted it too, it needed Salt! They didn’t put any basil in it either! You need to show me what Catering company you used, we’re getting our money back.” Fif sighed furiously, turning on her heel to go back to the kitchen. Quasi followed after her like an anxious dog.

“Oh, come on. The rest of it was good, we can’t penalize them for one mistake! Come on- C’mereeee.” Quasi caught his wife by the wrist as she brusquely entered the Kitchen, turning her around in his hands. Her face was still stiff with irritation, but her eyes looked up at him, waiting for him to say whatever it was he had to say.

“Aw, Fif- don’t look so sour.” He said, pulling her up against him by the waist and smiling brightly down at her in his usual goofy way. “Think about it. You took your friends out for a nice day at the spa, they all looked refreshed and went home with full bellies. You couldn’t really have done them much better.” Fif sighed through her nose and relented to her husband’s touch, though her eyes rolled as she nestled her head against his neck.

“I could have, if those plans hadn’t cancelled on us. It really threw my whole day off.” Her hand reached up to brush his beard. She smiled graciously, though, eyes flicking up to his. “But… thank you for coming through.” Quasi hummed, satisfied. “You’re welcome sweetheart.” They hugged for a few moments longer before Fif stirred, sniffing the air.

“Whats that?” She asked with a frown, pushing away from him.

“What’s what?” “There’s a burning smell, can’t you smell-” The air was cut with two gasps in Unison, both seeing the same problem at the same time.

The oven. On. Baking cookies. That were now Charcol. Fif rushed over to switch the oven off frantically while Quasi sputtered and tried to brace himself for the fury. The door opened, smoke spat out in dark, curling clouds that filled the kitchen. Quasi watched in abject horror as his wife stood amid the plume of smoke, then whipped around to pierce him with a furious gaze. Quasi stood, mouth agape, trying to find something to say. “D-don’t forget- your streak-”

#man vs wife #smash the patriarchy #dinnertime

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