#what we do in the shadows 4x4

[shelma32entertainment]

What We Do In The Shadows | 4x04 | The Night Market | REACTION

[voiceoffenrisulfr]

When the Wolf Howls - Chapter Three

"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Nonbinary Character(s). Secondary Pairings; James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 -> Steps are taken, and Asgard does what it does best.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 -> 3584

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> (M) Percieved risk to life, guilt, choking.

𝐀/𝐍 -> Check it out below, or on AO3 here!

<- Chapter Two

Dividers by us! <3

- ‘Human Prey’ – @darkacademiabingo; - ‘Not Allowed to Die’, ‘Protective Hug’ – @eclipsingbingo; - ‘Sweet Treats’, ‘Training’ – Eclipsing Bingo; - ‘Eaten By the Wolf’ – @fairytalebingo; - ‘Growing Dark’ – @fandombingo (The Magnus Archives); - ‘Shadows in the Forest’ – Fandom Bingo (The Magnus Archives); - ‘Human Shield’ – @fandom-free-bingo (Frosty Edition);

- ‘Choking’ – @hurtcomfort-bingo (CO42); - ‘Weakness’ – Hurt and Comfort Bingo (Pick Your Poison Bingo- C027); - ‘Meadow’ – @julybreakbingo (4x4); - ‘Bird Watching or Stargazing’ – July Break Bingo (5x5); - ‘Vulnerable’ – July Break Bingo (6x6); - ‘Sun’ – July Break Bingo (Summer); - ‘Ghost Story’, ‘Stunned Silence’, ‘Stupid Sacrifice’ – @multifandom-flash (Round 2 – 2029); - ‘Tender Kisses’ – @seasonaldelightsbingo (Dark Academia); - ‘Stargazing’ – Seasonal Delights Bingo (Under the Sea); - ‘Forced to Revisit Past Trauma’ – Seasonal Delights Bingo (Under the Sea).

Before we took another step, we needed a plan.

I asked Mars what they’d intended – and they sheepishly produced a map squirrelled from the library, with the location of Fenris’ prison marked and a dotted line cutting through the realms Thor had mentioned in as direct a route as possible. We spread it on the floor between the three of us, and he scowled minutely.

“Here,” he murmured, shaking his head as he pointed at the eastern point of Nornheim, “is the Domain of the Dark Man.” We both blinked blankly, and he offered us a weak grin. “Not somewhere you want to go. We should enter Varinheim further west to avoid him, unless you have a desire to test your mettle.”

Mars and I shook our heads in unison, and he nodded, leaning closer to the map. “This forest here,” he continued, gesturing at a patch that cut most of the way across the centre of Alfheim, “is home to the Wolf-People. We would do well to go around. It’ll add time to our journey, but…”

I nodded my agreement, even as my partner looked worried beside me. “A few more days won’t make much difference, my love. Not after millennia,” I murmured, earning a reluctant sound of acceptance.

The God of Thunder’s large finger skimmed around the forest, pausing at the next splash of green. “Norn forest, and Nornheim. Home to the Norns. They should prove no trouble. Jötunn of descent, but peaceful. They draw water to nourish Yggdrasill.”

“Varinheim,” he finished, pausing at the cross that indicated our destination. “Distant and desolate, it was to be Fenris’ domain. The lake we seek lies in the centre.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” I offered, forcing optimism into my tone and glancing at the god warily. “… Right?”

“The Asgardian continent can be unpredictable,” he replied, his tone uncharacteristically soft. “Allies can turn enemy without a moment’s hesitation. We move with as little notice as possible, and we run, or hide, before we fight.” He looked to my partner pointedly, and I understood – it wasn’t worth the risk to my painfully human love. A hero though they may be, this was a domain of gods and monsters, and they were not as indestructible as the two of us. “And then we have to face the wolf himself.”

“Did you have a plan?” I asked, gaze shifting to my partner sitting quietly beside me, staring at the parts of their path that had been too dangerous to keep, pale at the thought that they would have entered these areas without knowing any better. Sheepishly, silently, they delved into their backpack one-handedly, eyes lowering as they drew out a clear container I saw frequently. “… Is that the tub you keep dog treats in?”

“I made sure it was full of chicken, at least!” they objected weakly, a blush rising in their face. “This is what I do for work – I’m sure I can…”

They faltered at the silence that had fallen over the room, every set of eyes trained on them in disbelief. “You- Wh- Th-…” My stammers trailed off into stunned, scared sounds, fighting the urge to throw up.

“You were going to attempt to tame the Fenris Wolf with scraps of… Chicken?” Thor clarified incredulously, scoffing when they nodded shyly.

“I bet I could…” they protested under their breath, and I wrapped an arm around them, pulling them closer into my side.

“I… Am glad I caught up with you,” I murmured eventually, closing my eyes against the mental images of them offering a scrap of meat and losing an arm for their troubles. “We’ll establish a more… Plausible – and safer – plan as we travel. No arguments,” I added as I felt them stiffen, quick to shut down any protest. “I already nearly lost you once.”

Grumbling reluctantly, they nodded, nestling under my jaw. “Fine,” they agreed eventually, the word coming as a breathless sigh. “I guess.”

More music sent us on our way, relaxed and content until we left the village and my anxiety rose once more.

“I hope they treated you well,” I murmured, glancing at my partner, and they smiled.

“Sidarius was an excellent host,” they replied, and I chuckled quietly, leaning over to squeeze their hand. The steel steed beneath them considered me warily, the whites of his eyes showing as he analysed the level of threat I posed, apparently deciding I was low risk and relaxing his posture once more. “And Sleipnir was excellent, too,” they added pointedly, patting the horse’s neck fondly. “I didn’t need to do anything when the giants started after us – he held his ground until he realised I was afraid, and then he took off. He got me out of there safe.”

“Then I owe him a debt of gratitude,” I replied solemnly, gaze tracing the arch of the horse’s neck as he held his head higher under the attention.

I feel like he understands every word.

“He’ll hold you to that,” Thor chuckled from his place a few paces ahead of us, glancing back over his shoulder. “Though fortunately, he’ll accept payment in the form of apples.”

The legendary steed snorted, tossing his head and earning a laugh from my partner. “I think he doesn’t appreciate your opinion, Thor,” they teased, grinning, eliciting a chuckle from the god.

Thor pointed out interesting features of the terrain as we rode on, from the glimmer of Sea of Marmora in the distance – a sight that brought a shiver down my spine, even now, knowing that Loki’s castle sat abandoned on the other side – to the dense forest we were following a crest to avoid, the gigantic trees reflecting sunlight in a captivating manner that threatened to draw me in. He told us stories of Sigurd and his wife, of Idunn, of the golden apples that keep the gods young. He spoke of the Ulfheðinn that resided in deep in the forest, wearing wolfskin and attacking with a furious frenzy. It made the time pass faster, but our journey was brought to an unexpected halt when we became aware of the darkness beginning to settle around us.

“We should find somewhere to camp for the night,” Thor murmured, casting an eye about himself shrewdly. “We’d be best staying in Alfheim for the time being; while Nornheim and Norn forest are unlikely to pose many threats, there’s far more visibility out here.”

And more room for the horses to get up to speed if we’re attacked, I added silently, wincing.

It was a hellish night, every atom of my body listening out frantically for anything stirring in the darkness. Mars was tucked up against me, resting easily with their head on my chest, comforted by my presence. They trusted me to keep them safe.

And for that reason, I found myself unable to sleep, far too concerned with keeping them safe than slumber.

Thor woke intermittently, stoking the low fire, and it was as dawn was beginning to break that he cleared his throat quietly. “… Did you sleep at all?”

“No,” I replied softly, careful not to disturb my partner snoring quietly against me. “No, I… Wanted to make sure nothing happened.”

“You’re a devoted man, James.” The fire flared minutely as he poked more wood into place, hisses and cracks punctuating his words. “Your family are lucky to have you.”

“I do my best,” I breathed, glancing down at Mars, my gaze following the curve of their lashes adoringly. “I have a lot of sins to attain for – a lot of pain to make right. The very least I can do is protect those who mean the most to me.”

“You’re a good person,” he replied after a beat, his voice gentle. “You and I both know that most of the things you’ve done that have caused pain were not things in which you had any choice.”

Reluctantly, I nodded. It was something I’d heard many times over the years, but I struggled to accept it as truth. While I’d had no say in what happened to me, under fear of suffering beyond belief or through simply being too far gone to have an opinion of my own, it was hard to reconcile that with the memories I had of watching through my eyes as it was my hands that took life after life in the cruellest manners imaginable.

And I’d hurt people – though admittedly not as many and rarely as severely – before and after my time with Hydra, and I had nobody else to blame for that.

“And I think they’re the best of us,” he added into the quiet after a moment, and I smiled softly to myself.

“They are,” I agreed, skimming my lips over my sleeping partner’s hair gently. “They make me the man I always wanted to be. Between them and the kids, I… Feel like I found the person I was supposed to be, if not for… Everything, you know?”

He made a soft sound of agreement before replying, his voice so hushed that even my advanced hearing almost missed it. “I know.”

I stayed watching the stars as they began to vanish from sight, chased by the rising sun, until Mars stretched against me, eyelashes fluttering sweetly.

“Hi,” they murmured, brow furrowing in a scowl, and I chuckled.

“Good morning to you, too,” I offered, grinning, and ducked my head to brush my lips tenderly over theirs. They purred quietly, eyes closing for a few moments more, and I couldn’t help but gaze at them in awe, jaw tense and nervous.

They’re so innocent. So vulnerable…

Thor cleared his throat, and I raised my head, shifting to sit up as my partner did the same. “We should get moving. If we make good time, we’ll reach Varinheim before nightfall.”

They scrabbled to their feet, any hint of sleep brushed away with the dust that clung to their clothes. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Chuckling quietly, I got to my feet, eyeing our small group thoughtfully. “We still need a plan.”

They nodded back, firm and determined. “I have one; I told you.”

“That isn’t a plan, it’s a sacrifice – and a dumb one at that,” I snapped stiffly, muscles taut as they narrowed their eyes at me.

“It’s what I’m trained to-”

“With dogs!” I countered, a low growl building in my voice. “This isn’t a dog, Bug. It’s a demon – a wild, unthinking, merciless machine of death and destruction.”

“He’s a sweet baby,” they attested, and I arched an eyebrow.

“You can’t really think-”

“I can’t believe you don’t-”

“That’s enough,” Thor interjected, his gravelly voice sounding ancient and timeless as he cut us off – the voice of a king dividing his subjects. “There must be a way around this. We can discuss it on the ride; let’s get moving.”

With a last, uncertain gaze at one another – we rarely disagreed, and when we did it was typically light-hearted and short-lived – Mars and I mounted our horses in stunned silence, worries heavy on my shoulders as I fell into place at the rear of the pack.

As we rode, we made tentative plans, suggestions coming to either mutters of agreement or vehement rejection. But eventually, we had some form of idea, risky as it was.

We passed into Norn Forest without difficulty, but the close trees made me shiver, eyes flicking nervously. Thor seemed calm, however, so I forced the tension from my muscles, straining to keep my gaze on the path ahead.

But shadows darting in the dark of the forest haunted me, silent spectres slipping between towering trunks without disturbing the leaf litter. I shook my head firmly, telling myself that I was imagining things – that my anxieties about the task ahead of us was playing tricks on my mind. I acutely missed the open expanse of the fields and meadows, enabling us to see for hundreds of metres in each direction before shallow slopes interrupted the view.

It wasn’t until Glaðr paused beneath me, head tossing as she let out a soft nicker, that I wondered if my fears had been founded.

Thor stiffened, glancing down at his own steed, then back to Sleipnir, gaze meeting the horse’s steadily. “Slip?”

The eight-legged creature turned its head slowly, ears swivelling, before pausing, eyeing the canopy-covered darkness and stomping a foot insistently. Thor nodded once, looking to us with a steady stare. “We’re going to move quickly. You’re going to go first,” he added, firm gaze shifting to Bug. “You’re going to hold on – tight – and Sleipnir is going to get you out of here.”

“What about you two?” they hissed back, shoulders trembling ahead of me.

“We’ll be fine, sweetheart,” I breathed, the hairs on the nape of my neck prickling at the feeling of eyes on me. “Do what Thor says. You can do this.”

You’re not allowed to die.

The god’s eyes grew gentle, and he reached out to touch their arm softly. “We’ll be right behind you, Small One,” he vowed, before his fingers shifted to the horse’s forehead. “Run as the wind, Sleipnir. Get them out of the forest.”

The moment the words left Thor’s mouth, the horse bolted, and I heard Mars’ gasp as the sudden air rushing at them forced its way into their lungs. But any protest was quickly smothered as the woods exploded around us, the shadows advancing with fearsome speed. Thor roared a challenge as he rose Mjulnir threateningly, the mighty hammer sparking ominously. I had only my own two hands against the spectres – but I was more than willing to do my damnedest to slow these creatures, glancing over my shoulder as Sleipnir’s tail disappeared between the trees.

My eyes turned back to the advancing shadows, hard and hateful. People – or otherwise – who stood between me and the happiness and safety of those I loved would feel the full extent of my fury, and creepy ghosts were no exception.

I hurtled myself from my horse as the first of the spectres reached us, vibranium moving through wisps of darkness without resistance. My body passed through the illusion, leaving me on my knees on the forest floor, fighting for breath, my lungs seizing as smoke swirled and swam inside me.

“You can’t touch them!”

I raised my head as I rasped, seeking out the voice through the haze of my constricting windpipe, fingers digging into the dirt desperately.

Thor was whirling his glowing hammer, blasts of light emitting from the metal to strike the advancing shadows. Each lightning bolt to the chest burnt a hole through illusion, smouldering away to nothing.

It took a few precious seconds for me to comprehend what I was seeing, but eventually I pushed myself to my knees, still wheezing frantically as I fought off the darkness closing in, around both me and my vision. I fumbled desperately at my pockets, coughing as I pulled my lighter free. The pitiful flame that burst free did nothing against the spirits growing closer, but the curls of smoke encasing my lungs came flowing from my mouth as I spluttered, falling as ash from parted lips. The acrid taste of burning was thick on my tongue – but I could breathe.

The flame was enough to keep the monsters at bay as I scraped the leaf litter into a pile, setting it alight and scooping a handful of the flaming debris in my vibranium palm.

It’s not lightning, but…

I curled my fingers loosely around my burning bundle, eyeing up the mass of spectres slowly thinning out around us and roaring hatefully as I dove forward. This time, my fist met a seemingly solid mass, blowing through the shadow’s chest with a sound like metal on metal, slowing fading as the creature burnt away to nothing.

I arched an eyebrow, using my free hands to beckon the creatures closer.

“Come and get it!”

Thor and I stood in the smouldering, foul-scented clearing, panting for breath, eyes watering from the smoke and smell. Our eyes met as I dropped the remnants of my bundle, dusting the residue from my fingers and swallowing dryly, my throat still burning from the bizarre smoke.

“… Thanks,” I murmured, spitting another mouthful of ash onto the ground. “Uh… For the advice. And for the help. And for getting Mars out of here.” I paused and looked around quickly, heart racing until I spotted our mounts sheltering under a tree at the edge of the clearing. Thor didn’t waste valuable time responding, only offering a nod as he crossed the space, swinging his mighty frame into the saddle a few steps ahead of me.

We were silent as we galloped through the forest, following in the broken trail through the undergrowth. Intermittent, gossamer-spun silver hairs caught on the bracken confirmed the path was Sleipnir’s – as did Bug’s desperate wails as light began to filter more efficiently through the thinning trees.

“Please- we have to go back; we can’t just leave them! Sleipnir, come on, I know Thor said to get me out – but look, I’m fine, see? We have to go back!”

Mars was stood before the mighty stallion as we emerged from the forest, gesticulating towards the woods desperately. The sound of hooves on grass made them turn, and I winced at the sight of the tears staining their cheeks, my feet hitting the ground before Glaðr had come to a halt. They clung frantically to my shirt as I bundled them to my chest, arms tight and protective around their trembling body.

I swallowed down thoughts of my Spiders, just as fragile as they shivered and sobbed against me, and wondered once more how we were back here again – how I had, for what felt like the hundredth time, found myself in Asgard cradling someone I loved as they wept.

I held them until my coughing drove them back, stumbling a few steps away from me with a brow creased in concern. “Are- are you okay?”

“Fine,” I wheezed, nodding. “It’s getting better. They suck if you breathe them in, though…”

Mars’ face went pale, and they were by my side once more, a gentle hand on my back and stroking carefully. “Will he be okay?” they asked worriedly, and I looked up in time to see Thor nod, opening his mouth to respond – but his words were cut off by my insistent partner. “What were those things? Why did they attack us like that? I thought you said that forest was safe!”

The god’s jaw set slightly, and I raised a hand to touch Mars’ shoulder gently. “He also pointed out that Asgard is highly unpredictable,” I reminded them, voice soft. “It’s not his fault, sweetheart.”

“They were mara,” Thor added, his lip curling. “They have no set domain. They’re… I suppose humans would call them demons. They attack people in their sleep, causing horrible nightmares, and then eventually…” He trailed off, but his meaning was clear, and Bug winced.

“But we were awake,” they pointed out, voice strained. “Why did they come for us?”

“The mara dwell in darkness and shadow. We intruded into their land – their current land, at least – and they attacked. They’re vulnerable to light, but if you aren’t aware, they can leave you without your consciousness. It’s not often that mara attack the awake, but those that succumb never wake up,” he finished softly, eyes dropping with guilt. I shook my head again, coughing another round of a thin, black, tar-like substance into the dirt.

“You weren’t to know,” I rasped, levelling my voice with as much determination and force as I could despite my chafed vocal cords. “It isn’t your fault, Thor. And besides – I’d be dead if it weren’t for you. Probably Mars, too.”

“And you’re sure he’ll be okay?” my partner pressed, still eyeing the contents of my lungs on the ground worriedly.

“He probably won’t sleep well for a few days, while the smoke clears his system,” Thor admitted. “But he’ll make a full recovery before long – possibly quicker than most, given how swiftly he heals.”

I nodded once, grimacing as I snagged a bottle of water from a Glaðr’s saddlebag and rinsing my mouth thoroughly. “I’ll be fine, Acushla. Don’t worry about me.”

Thor considered me for a moment longer, then nodded, looking to my partner. “May I see the map, Little One?” Mars offered it immediately, pulled from one of their plentiful, seemingly bottomless pockets. The god hummed as his eyes skimmed over the parchment, muttering under his breath and looking about himself. “… We shouldn’t linger long here. We’re closer than I’d like to Karnilla’s Palace.”

“Karnilla?” I asked as we climbed back into our saddles in unison, Sleipnir proving far more willing to move now Thor was back in the lead. He nodded as he encouraged Gyllir into a brisk trot, glancing back at me.

“The Queen of the Norns. She… Can be complicated,” he offered stiffly, muscles visibly tensing. “She has proven herself to be both ally and enemy. It would be best to move on as swiftly as possible, rather than risk her wrath. I’d hoped we would be passing far enough away that we wouldn’t be worth the effort – a party as small as ours poses little threat in her own domain – but…”

I nodded, exchanging a look of understanding with Mars. His unspoken words had us urging on our own steeds.

We may not be able to handle another fight.

[em2dplatformer]

Pixel Art: The Basics

By playing pixel art games, I can get a better idea of what type of styles can be achieved and what styles I want to use for my game.

Castlevania: Vampire's Kiss

3-D WorldRunner

A Boy and His Blob

We can also get a better idea of how to make pixel sprites by researching other pixel artists.

Army Of Trolls:

Army Of Trolls is the site of Gary J Lucken's portfolio where his designs for games, YouTube and festival banners and commissions. His work features very bright and bold colours and focuses on 2D settings such as his London Games Fest art and his GDC 2018 brochure art. Specifically, his settings our done in the isometric pixel art style.

Octavi Navarro:

Octavi Navarro Art & Games is a studio based in Barcelona. Octavi Navarro himself is a pixel artist and game developer who creates narrative driven games. A lot of his colour palettes are more muted and he uses a lot of clean angles in the settings of his art pieces. His art also has a strong use of dynamic lighting with the use of spotlights and smaller light sources that blend nicely in the environment. These unique light sources also create strong shadows across some of his pieces.

Derek Yu:

Derek Yu is the creator of many popular games such as Spelunky, and Aquaria. He has a site called 'Make Games With Derek' where he has tutorials on how to do pixel art as well as examples of his own and other's work.

Both Spelunky and Aquaria have pixel artstyles, making them good examples to look at.

Spelunky is mostly underground and so has a limited colour palette. This, however, does not stop the game from being colourful. From gold ore scattered about to brightly coloured enemies and characters, Spelunky is made visually engaging by its use of colour.

Aquaria is a lot less pixel-based. It takes place underwater, meaning its much more visually cluttered than Spelunky. The colours are still bright, but a more dynamic use of lighting makes the colours have more depth.

Johan Vinet:

Johan Vinet is a pixel artist who recently released a mini-game called Castaway. Castaway is a pixel game with bright graphics, smooth animation and a fun mixture of puzzles and action.

After testing out some pixel art games and doing my own research on other pixel artists, I moved onto making my own character in pixel art form.

64x64:

I personally really like the level of detail that 64x64 allows me to put into the sprite. This, however, comes at the cost of time which means 64x64 will likely be unsustainable for this project (1 1/2 roughly).

32x32:

I first did not like 32x32 but as I kept at drawing my character I began to prefer this to the 64x64 version. The 32x32 both is detailed enough to keep my character distinguishable but also can be done a lot quicker than the 64x64 version (15 minutes).

16x16:

16x16 is too small for my character. Because of her limited colour palette and her requiring an outline to be distinguishable, this option is not viable. The time save was also not worth it (5 minutes).

8x8:

Definitely not using 8x8. My character is requires some form of gradient as well as enough room for an outline to be distinguishable. Animating this would also be a very difficult task. (45 seconds max).

4x4:

4x4 becomes a colour palette rather than a sprite. 4x4 is mostly used just to find the main key colours of a character. This doesn't effect my character particularly as, due to her limited colour palette, all of her colours (even the gradient and outlines) fit cohesively on the 4x4 canvas. (15 seconds).

After choosing the type of resolution for my character, I decided to upgrade the sprite itself. I wanted to give my sprite a more dynamic pose that felt more alive than the previous one. I also wanted to add some darker colours to the parts of the character that were further back for more depth.

[supernovagifs]

Chicago Med

Below are/will be episodes of Chicago Med

Season 1

1x1 - Derailed

1x2 - iNO

1x3 - Fallback

1x4 - Mistaken

1x5 - Malignant

1x6 - Bound

1x7 - Saints

1x8 - Reunion

1x9 - Choices

1x10 - Clarity

1x11 - Intervention

1x12 - Guilty

1x13 - Us

1x14 - Hearts

1x15 - Inheritance

1x16 - Disorder

1x17 - Withdrawal

1x18 - Timing

Season 2

2x1 - Soul Care

2x2 - Win Loss

2x3 - Natural History

2x4 - Brother's Keeper

2x5 - Extreme Measures

2x6 - Alternative Medicine

2x7 - Inherent Bias

2x8 - Free Will

2x9 - Uncharted Territory

2x10 - Heart Matters

2x11 - Graveyard Shift

2x12 - Mirror Mirror

2x13 - Theseus' Ship

2x14 - Cold Front

2x15 - Lose Yourself

2x16 - Prisoner's Dilemma

2x17 - Monday Mourning

2x18 - Lesson Learned

2x19 - Ctrl Alt

2x20 - Generation Gap

2x21 - Deliver Us

2x22 - White Butterflies

2x23 - Love Hurts

Season 3

3x1 - Speak Your Truth

3x2 - Nothing to Fear

3x3 - Trust Your Gut

3x4 - Naughty or Nice

3x5 - Mountains and Molehills

3x6 - Ties That Bind

3x7 - Over Troubled Water

3x8 - Lemons and Lemonade

3x9 - On Shaky Ground

3x10 - Down By Law

3x11 - Folie à Deux

3x12 - Born This Way

3x13 - Best Laid Plans

3x14 - Lock It Down

3x15 - Devil in Disguise

3x16 - An Inconvenient Truth

3x17 - The Parent Trap

3x18 - This Is Now

3x19 - Crisis of Confidence

3x20 - The Tipping Point

Season 4

4x1 - Be My Better Half

4x2 - When to Let Go

4x3 - Heavy Is the Head

4x4 - Backed Against the Wall

4x5 - What You Don't Know

4x6 - Lesser of Two Evils

4x7 - The Poison Inside Us

4x8 - Play by My Rules

4x9 - Death Do Us Part

4x10 - All the Lonely People

4x11 - Who Can You Trust

4x12 - The Things We Do

4x13 - Ghosts in the Attic

4x14 - Can't Unring That Bell

4x15 - We Hold These Truths

4x16 - Old Flames, New Sparks

4x17 - The Space Between Us

4x18 - Tell Me the Truth

4x19 - Never Let You Go

4x20 - More Harm Than Good

4x21 - Forever Hold Your Peace

4x22 - With a Brave Heart

Season 5

5x1 - Never Going Back to Normal

5x2 - We're Lost in the Dark

5x3 - In the Valley of the Shadows

5x4 - Infection (Part 2)

5x5 - Got a Friend in Me

5x6 - It's All in the Family

5x7 - Who Knows What Tomorrow Brings

5x8 - Too Close to the Sun

5x9 - I Can’t Imagine the Future

5x10 - Guess It Doesn't Matter Anymore

5x11 - The Ground Shifts Beneath Us

5x12 - Leave the Choice to Solomon

5x13 - Pain Is for the Living

5x14 - It May Not Be Forever

5x15 - I Will Do No Harm

5x16 - Who Should Be the Judge

5x17 - The Ghosts of the Past

5x18 - In the Name of Love

5x19 - Just a River in Egypt

5x20 - A Needle in the Heart

Season 6

6x1 - When Did We Begin to Change?

6x2 - Those Things Hidden in Plain Sight

6x3 - Do You Know the Way Home?

6x4 - In Search of Forgiveness, Not Permission

6x5 - When Your Heart Rules Your Head

6x6 - Don't Want to Face This Now

6x7 - Better Is the Enemy of Good

6x8 - Fathers and Mothers, Daughters and Sons

6x9 - For the Want of A Nail

6x10 - So Many Things We've Kept Buried

6x11 - Letting Go Only to Come Together

6x12 - Some Things Are Worth the Risk

6x13 - What A Tangled Web We Weave

6x14 - A Red Pill, a Blue Pill

6x15 - Stories, Secrets, Half-Truths and Lies

6x16 - I Will Come to Save You

Season 7

7x1 - You Can't Always Trust What You See

7x2 - To Lean In or To Let Go

7x3 - Be the Change You Want to See

7x4 - Status Quo (The Mess We're In)

7x5 - Change Is a Tough Pill to Swallow

7x6 - When You're a Hammer Everything's a Nail

7x7 - A Square Peg in a Round Hole

7x8 - Just as a Snake Sheds Its Skin

7x9 - Secret Santa Has a Gift for You

7x10 - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished... in Chicago

7x11 - The Things We Thought We Left Behind

7x12 - What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You

7x13 - Reality Leaves a Lot to the Imagination

7x14 - All the Things That Could Have Been

7x15 - Things Meant to Be Bent Not Broken

7x16 - May Your Choices Reflect Hope, Not Fear

7x17 - If You Love Someone, Set Them Free

7x18 - Judge Not, For You Will Be Judged

7x19 - Like a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes

7x20 - End of the Day, Anything Can Happen

7x21 - Lying Doesn't Protect You from the Truth

7x22 - And Now We Come to the End

[sandinthepipes]

That was a sex scene

[wanda-little-baby]

In action - Wanda x Reader

Summary: You prepare yourself for a mission like any other right? Or maybe not...

Warnings: No more traces of angst, just a little Avengers life (obviously under the eyes of a 18-year-old), and a nice bond with Nat

A/N: So, I've been pretty sick in the last week so I decided to take a little break but now I'm here, ready and energized to continue

Words: 2.546

Italics = thoughts

Okay, I just got out of a hot shower and headed to the kitchen to play the most important role in the Avengers in my opinion, the cook.

Since yesterday in the air it is as if I perceive something big coming and this is not good, Thor is back from some other place in space he has been and even if it is always a feast for the eyes he eats too much and a fridge would not be enough whole to feed him.

However, I spent most of the time left cooking to prepare 6 obviously personalized breakfasts (I'm pretty sure that after 2 years I know their eating habits well in the morning) and a mega breakfast for the god.

"Good morning Nat" I exclaimed obviously surprising the red shadow behind me.

"Tell me how you always know, in short, I should be one of the spies if not the best spy in the world" replied a shocked Natasha to have discovered her.

"Do you know that I can feel you? You know, with my powers, those strange things I do with my hands right?" I replied continuing to churn out an endless row of pancakes.

"Right, anyway I smell good here" said the widow getting closer and closer to the stove "Am I wrong or are those pancakes? Is Thor here?" she asked curious about this morning news.

"Yes, he arrived last night when you were still down training" I said placing all the portions meticulously calibrated freeing myself to be able to continue talking "Anyway, I heard Steve and he said he is waiting for us at 8 for another of his famous debriefings, who knows what the new mission will be" with my arms crossed and a thoughtful look I confided to the redhead intent on munching some cereals from the box

"The newbie is excited eh, remember whatever it is there are people in danger, they are the top priority" she said in his usual wise old tone. "I know I know, this is what we do here, protect people from things they can't protect themselves against" exhaling in defeat to her inevitable intellectual superiority, I headed for the bedrooms.

"I'm going to get ready" were the only words Nat heard as I ambushed my room. And within 15 minutes I was back out beautiful and bright in the ordinary way to enjoy the sleep-distorted faces of my teammates.

"Lady Y/N! Well awakened, your beauty shines like the gold that covers the Asgard palace!" greeted the mighty god of thunder with his peculiar ways. "Thor, I see you're in a good mood today, ready for the meeting?" I replied making faces at a Natasha pleased with the embarrassment of the conversation. "It's very ready, Stark and Steve are already waiting for us in the "meeting room"so it will be better not to keep them waiting, you know Steve how annoying it can be for punctuality" she replied taking her arms off the counter and walking towards the meeting room "Yeah, it's better go. Thor, with me" I continued following Natasha in line and calling back the Asgardian.

——————————————————————

Once inside Steve started talking

"So, last night the Shield gave us the position of Loki's scepter in the hands of the Hydra" Steve began speaking to the four of us seated by a long table.

"And where is it?" Nat asked as he read the digital file

"Sokovia, near the city of Novi Grad. It's one of the last remaining Hydra bases so it's not sure if the scepter is right there" sighed Bruce as he rubbed his temples with his fingers.

"Yeah, it's not sure if the scepter is there, but we're sure to kick Strucker's ass before shutting him in a 4x4 cube of reinforced concrete" Tony came up with his usual way of speaking

"Finally!! Screams of pain and death will follow our path" Thor exclaimed with too much enthusiasm.

This was certainly the most tragic-comic moment since I am an Avenger because after this particular observation we all turned with mixed looks of confusion and disgust towards the Asgardian.

"Ok, but no, no rivers of blood will flow in Eastern Europe. They may also be Hydra soldiers but they are still civilians so unnecessary bloodshed must be avoided." with a few words still perplexed I tried to bring the situation back to a level of oddities within the norm. "Y/N is right, we need a plan, a very strong plan" continued the archer supporting the newborn conversation "Thanks Clint" I replied in a tone of response but also of thanks for the support (I'm not at all good at talking to more than two people at a time without being embarrassed); promptly without saying anything, with only two fingers he made a gesture as if it were a "please"

"That's why we're here, we have to come up with a strategy to infiltrate without getting noticed and possible alternative plans in case things go wrong." Steve continued the conversation "WHEN things get wrong" with his usual teasing ways Tony tried to do something that doesn't even come close to a joke

"Ehm, I was saying ..." the captain pointed out in a rather annoyed tone "we split into three teams:

- Tony and Thor will give us cover from above and go first;

- Me, Clint and Natasha will take care of the soldiers ;

- Y/N and Banner will remain behind as in the event of an ambush

Once inside, the main targets are Strucker and the scepter, the other things have to be picked up and brought back to New York"

"You know it won't be easy to get in there?" Clint pointed out in a very impertinent way. "That's why we need more plans, to prepare for the worst. And that's why I have a stealth plan. From what I read on the file there are deliveries with a couple of trucks every day, maybe Nat and I can infiltrate one of these. and enter without being noticed, make our way and disable the shields that will surely be around the base and allow you others to enter and make a big boom!" All in one breath I presented with great anxiety all around my newly studied plan.

"Well, this is a plan, now only the worst option is missing. In the worst case, we stay on the ground to take out as many as we can by eliminating the surprise factor and Tony breaks these hypothetical shields." at the end concludes the redhead, putting an end to the briefing

"Okay then, we have the plans, now we have to get ready. We'll meet you on the landing pad tonight at 10pm, so we'll get there early in the morning," Steve said, getting up and dismissing everyone in the room.

"OK rookie, with me now, training room, I have to drop you a couple of times before I go to war." completely excited Natasha said with a smile from ear to ear. "It's been two years now, when are you going to stop this rookie thing?" with a smiling but also a little annoyed look, I replied to the widow's words.

Raising her eyes to the sky, the slightly annoyed redhead replied "I'll stop when you finally win a training session", "Yes, as if I haven't won one, right? Bah, you know it's there, now let's go down and I'll fuck your ass!" I concluded in a playful tone with a beautiful tongue as I made my way to the elevator.

——————————————————————

"I don't know Nat, I've been feeling something bad and big in the pot since this morning" I expressed my opinion before kicking the head of the "mentor" unfortunately saved. "I honestly think you are worrying unnecessarily" punch on my dear ribs (it hurts a lot I still remember the pain) "You may be right but I say that it is better to worry, and not because I feel it but because it is my powers to tell me" I don't know why but I left the fighting position while I say this (I will regret it within 10 seconds) and..." Yes but for the moment worry about this..." total darkness for a few milliseconds and then I find myself lying in ground with Nat's legs around my head as he tries to choke me "but then I still haven't figured out what kind of powers you have" he says just before loosening his grip "I have no idea, just these little balls of energy come out of my hands and sometimes if I concentrate I can make a barrier, but nothing more, even if I have no idea what a long way to go." finally we return to an upright position and sincerely with our hands against our hips and completely sweaty I look at a thoughtful and equally sweaty Nat "some times though, it seems as if you were talking and I heard you but you didn't speak at the end" with an increasingly sulky look at the end she spoke "As if you read minds?", "Yes, that's right, I have to practice maybe I could understand what is in your head Natasha Romanoff" with a smiling grimace I hit Nat's arm as a sign of challenge and she to counter instead she says "Would you like to understand me? Don't think about it, instead think about going to take a shower and eat something because it's almost time to leave", ah the famous worried Natasha I will never tire of seeing her but I have to answer her so "Yes mom!" I say sneaking out before being chased by a very angry redhead

——————————————————————

Maybe training all day was not a good idea because now I'm really tired and I still have to prepare for the mission and I think I'll spend all night sleeping on the Quinjet

Looking back, I would like to know how to make things fluctuate, it would be easier to pack. Maybe this way... "What? I thought about floating the bag in front of me, I pretended to lift it and finally in my hands my powers manifested and the bag went up in the air!" I honestly have to train more to maneuver this thing, once back from Sokovia I have to pause the spy in me and focus only on the magic in me "Wow, I will never stop surprising myself" but I absolutely have to use this thing to annoy Nat , I don't think I've ever seen her scare and I can't wait to play a lot of jokes

After this profound inner monologue, wanting to carry the floating bag up to the Quinjet at a weighted pace, I head to the elevator to leave the bedroom area

"Wait, wait wait !!!" Nat says in a panic just before the elevator closed. "Who can I see !! Do you need a ride?" I ask with a very happy look at the agitated expression on the older woman's vault

"Yes, I need a ride, ROOKIE" she replies trying to compose herself for the race and leaning an elbow against one of the elevator walls "And what is that?" she exclaims, pointing to the bag still in the air next to my hands covered with red wips of magic

"Oh, this is something I learned five minutes ago, apparently I can make things float" I said dropping the bag to the floor and putting it on my shoulders.

"Cool! But just as creepy" answered the widow with a disgusted frown "but now try to float your ass on that Quinjet and come back here whole, because I'm not going to find a new protege" she added pointing at the exit of the lift to the take-off platform

"Yes Madam!" I said, turning to look at her as I walked backward toward the flying vehicle.

——————————————————————

Once we were all seated in our seats, the captain explained the plans for the umpteenth time and then recommended us to rest because it was going to be a long journey. And so I did, I slept, and I immediately regretted it.

I was sleeping peacefully (as much as a girl can be when she's about to storm a "Nazi" base), when suddenly flashes of light, some quick images as if it were a blink of an eye and a phrase repeated over and over - You and I are the same - . And then again those images, a brunette girl (Who is she? I can't see her well! Do I know her? Why do I feel a connection with this person?), So many but so many robots (Why do they lgook like Tony's armor?), and finally a sound, as if it were a rustle of the wind (Bho?).

"Hey Y/N, wake up we're about to arrive," Bruce said suddenly, bringing me back to reality with a gasp

"Wa-" were the first words I said still in the dream, which among other things also made the doctor in front of me worry (I still had to metabolize that there was someone in front of me). "Everything is OK?" added a voice, intruding into the conversation (after unraveling that remaining veil of sleep I realized it was Clint! I just go haywire when I wake up, huh!). "Sure, just a strange dream" (No look, I just dreamed so many things that I don't understand and I keep a weight on my stomach for no reason, I'm not well at all)

After securing the two men I decided to get up and go talk to Steve who was standing on the edge of the "pilot area".

"So cap, what's the weather like out there?" I asked jokingly on the clouds clearly present trying in vain to remove the nail of the last five minutes, obviously in my mind I was thinking only of one thing: what did I dream? "Cloudy, why?" at this point he replied clearly confused by the question.

"Oh Steve, I love your ability to not understand sarcasm" I said laughing out loud as I saw the blond man put his hand on his face "See captain, today's young people doesn't respect you anymore, you have lost your charm!" Tony said turning in his chair to watch the conversation

"Ok! We understand, I don't recognize all these humorous jokes, but now is not the right time to talk about it-" the "golden boy" interrupted pointing to the castle in the distance from the glass of the Quinjet "-because we are just arrived"

Then, all the others approached the three of us listening to the captain's "profound" speech. "Let's proceed with the Y/N plan, activate the communicators, always stay in touch and pay attention" he finally pronounced (mostly facing me and Nat, but we think it is in a general tone).

"Ready to infiltrate a top secret Hydra base?" I said (obviously to the creator of the newbie's nightmare) finally opening the door of the aircraft. "Sure, as always, no?" in response the redhead came up and put a hand on my shoulder "Yep, let's go" I moved away at a lightning speed from the touch (I'm still afraid of hurting others, and I don't know if I'll ever stop having it).

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, October 14

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Again (Angel/Spike, R) by girlpire

Doing It (Angel/Spike, PG-13) by girlpire

A Little Crush (Various xover pairings, Teen Wolf xover, R) by skargasm

When We Stand Together (Dawn/Kira Ford, Power Rangers Dino Thunder xover, PG-13) by LadyBelltara

Whips and Rendezvous (Buffy/Wonder Woman, R) by JessicaSnow

[Chaptered Fiction]

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 357 (Ensemble, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, PG-13) by madimpossibledreamer

Chasing Sunrise Chapter 5 (Ensemble, PG-13) by summers-maclay-lehane (ofstormsandwolves)

The Return Chapter 6 (Ensemble, R) by HoneybadgerVor

all the people time’s forgotten (and all the ones i can’t) Chapter 4 (Tara/Willow, PG-13) by taxicab12

Ashes, Ashes Chapter 3 (Angel/Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Lost_gallifrey

Bound Chapter 28 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by RavenLove12

Punk Love and Twisted Sister Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by RavenLove12

Dark Release Season 4 Rewrite Chapter 14 (Angelus/Buffy, NC-17) by frosty600

Charmed and Chosen Chapter 6 (Buffy/Faith, Charmed xover, R) by QuillBard

Plastic Hearts Chapter 4 (Dawn/Helmut Zemo, MCU xover, R) by patriciatepes

Christy Chapter 5 (Ensemble, Charmed xover, PG-13) by BrennaLynn

Wrong Memory 3: Atlantis Memories Chapter 1 (Wawn/Willow, Stargate Atlantis, PG-13) by BrennaLynn

By Love's Grace Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Sigyn

Marriage, Sunnydale-Style Chapter 27 (Buffy/Spike, R) by scratchmeout

Nemesis: To Give What Is Due Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, R) by YouCutYourHair

Vacation with a vampire (Sequel to The Sphere) Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Coraline

No Remedy for Memory Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

When Spike Knew Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by violettathepiratequeen

Got Your Six Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Come Back to Me Chapter 30 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Consequences of Bargaining Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by All4Spike

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: Buffy Review - 4x4 Fear Itself by Reverse Angle

ScreenRant: Buffy's Last Mission as Slayer Gives Willow the Death She Deserves by SPENCER CONNOLLY

ScreenRant: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Is Setting the Stage for a Spike/Xander Romance by FRANCESCO CACCIATORE

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

WhatCulture: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Quiz: Did Rupert Giles Say It?

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch35: Not A Perfect Soldier, But A Good Man.

Summary: Almost twelve moths post the vents in Siberia, the four friends are reunited with two familiar faces. Presented with an opportunity that they find too good to turn down, they find themselves back running missions off radar, one of which takes Steve to a dark place within himself, where he finds himself compromising his moral code. 

And then his phone rings…

Warnings: Bad language, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words. Mentions of rape/sexual assault.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: Wonderful edit again from @angrybirdcr. And make sure you check out the related one shot- Vanilla, which takes place during this timeframe.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 34

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

June 2017

“Well as far as birthdays on the run go guys, this one’s been the best one I’ve ever had!” Katie grinned as they climbed out of their 4x4 at the Safe house.

Steve and Sam exchanged a look over the roof of the car.

“What?” Katie asked, innocently.

“I can’t tell if that was sarcasm or…” Sam looked at Steve before he turned back to Katie pushing his sunglasses up onto the top of his head. “No, honestly guys I’ve had a great morning.” She smiled at them. “Breakfast was amazing, it was a nice walk round the castle, the sun is out and now we have a BBQ to get fired up!”

It was almost a year now since they’d been on the run. After a brief few months apart where Katie and Steve had been in Wakanda, Sam had been flitting round a few old friends and Wanda had been travelling with Vision, they had all reunited at the end of May, Wanda bringing with her some rather interesting news.

“I did find some stuff out.

Apparently Tony hasn’t spoken to Ross properly in months. When you guys broke out the raft, Ross called him for help and he put him on hold for hours.” Katie looked at Steve, both of them sharing a grin.

“It didn’t go down well. They had a huge bust up and apparently Tony told him to err, and I quote ‘go fuck himself’.” Wanda said, smiling slightly. Steve snorted as she continued. “Said he didn’t answer to SHIELD, the Government or anyone else.”

A pang of affection and guilt hit Katie’s chest. Even after everything her brother was still watching her back. She looked down at her food and blinked, the tears threatening to fall out of her eyes.

“He’s err, he and Pepper, they’re getting married.” Wanda hesitated and Katie took a deep breath.

“Wow, he finally did it.” She whispered, not looking up as she pushed a piece of carrot round her plate, swallowing thickly. “That’s…”

“How’s Rhodes?” Sam asked, changing the subject swiftly and Steve gave him a look of thanks across the table, as he gently reached over and wrapped his hand around the back of Katie’ s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze of affection before his thumb gently began to trace shapes on the soft skin just beneath her hair line. She looked at him and smiled. 

“I’m okay.” She assured him “Honestly.”

Steve kept his hand were it was nonetheless as Wanda continued talking.

“Rhodey is good, the braces he has mean he can walk.” At that Sam looked down, Steve glanced at him. He knew he felt guilty about what had happened.

“And that’s it really.” Wanda shrugged. “Nothing else to report.”

“Glad to hear everyone’s doing good.” Katie nodded. “So you want to see Vision again?”

“I know it might seem odd, or even dangerous.” Wanda mused, “And we’re still at odds over the Sokovia Accords, but yeah, I do.” “Odds?” Steve asked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he still seems to think that the Accords were right. So, we’ve kind of just agreed not to talk about them. But, even with that, well I just can’t be without him.”

“We love who we love.” Steve said wisely, “If we’re lucky they share our feelings as well as our lives.”

“Like you two you mean?” Sam snorted looking at Steve and Katie “You two are so in tune, sometimes I think you’re actually reading each, others minds.” “How do you know we’re not?” Katie grinned and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Like I said, lucky.” Steve shrugged, pressing a kiss to the side of Katie’s head as he moved his arm from around the back of her and carried on with his food.

“No one should keep you from him if that’s how you feel.” Katie looked at Wanda. “That’s the last thing we would ever want.”

“Yeah you go ahead.” Sam snarked, pulling Katie’s attention back to the here and now. “We’ll grab the bags, don’t worry about it.” “Thanks Sam, you’re a darling.” Katie grinned over her shoulder.

Sam sighed and shook his head. “A fucking liberty, that’s what this is! You wanna remind her of those ground rules, Steve.”

“You remind her.” Steve shot back as they watched the two women head unlock the door to the house.

“You scared of your Missus, Pal?”

“Yes.” Steve said simply and Sam laughed, before he turned and opened the trunk of the car. 

In the house, Katie walked through the small porch and into the living room and immediately stilled. There was something wrong, something she couldn’t put her finger on. Holding an arm out to Wanda she stopped the younger girl and looked at her. Understanding straight away, Wanda’s familiar red tendrils began glowing from her hands. As Katie looked around, unable to shake the feeling that someone or something was there, her eyes fell on a bottle on the coffee table, a bottle that hadn’t been there when they left this morning.

Beluga gold line vodka.

Katie felt her lips curve into a smile “You can come out now.” She stated simply, not bothering to turn round. “You know, I thought spies were supposed to be subtle.”

“Who says I was trying to be?” A familiar voice drawled, causing Wanda to spin round, her mouth falling open in surprise as Natasha stepped out of the smaller living room at the far side of the house.  

Katie turned and looked her friend over. “That why you cut all your hair off and dyed it blonde?”

“Changes is as good as the next.” Nat smirked.

“Good to see you Widow.” Katie beamed, striding over to her and pulling her into a hug.

“You too.” Natasha smiled, squeezing her back. “Happy birthday, Nova.”

Katie released her and Nat turned to Wanda, wrapping her up in a hug too. “I’m telling you man.” Sam’s voice filled the room as he and Steve walked into the house each carrying bags of groceries and snacks for their BBQ “She was putty in my hands. If he hadn’t turned up I’d have-MOTHER FUCKER!” He yelled, dropping the bags he was carrying as he spotted Natasha.

“Nice to see you too, Birdbrain.” She smiled before her face turned to Steve “Rogers.” “Nat?” He blinked in surprise, setting the bags he was carrying down a little more gently than Sam. “Dare I ask how you knew where to find us?” The corner of his mouth quirked up in a small, amused smile “Fury.” She shrugged. “Finished the loose ends I needed to tie up and had to make a swift exit, so he told me where you were. Thought I’d come and see how you were all getting along.” “We’re just peachy.” Sam smiled as he stepped forward opening his arms, “Come on not-so-red-anymore, bring it in.” She gave a huff and then stepped into his arms before she turned to Steve who smiled at her as he pulled her into a huge bear hug.

“I like this.” She leaned back, pulling at his beard and he jerked his head way out of her reach, arching an eyebrow at her. What was it with people and thinking they could just touch his face now he had a beard? That was something reserved for his wife and his wife only. Katie laughed, noticing his irritation as Natasha continued. “Hardly recognised you.” “Well that is the point.” He rolled his eyes.

“Are you sticking around?” Sam asked.

“Well I got nothing else to do.” Nat shrugged. Katie and Steve exchanged a grin, her blasé tone didn’t fool them. She looked tired and slightly shaken, so whatever mission she’d been working on had clearly been tough.

“Well in that case…” Katie picked up the bottle of vodka that was on the table. “How about we crack this open whilst the boys get the grill going?”

A couple of hours later they were full of BBQ meat, salads, potatoes, vodka, beer and juicy information. Whilst Natasha didn’t tell them much about what she had been up to in Russia, she did fill them in on what SHIELD was doing. 

“They’re calling themselves the ‘In-Human Resistance’.” Natasha explained as she showed them a few photos of the growing Vigilante group on a tablet, a group that seemed to be fast gaining traction in America. “They staged an attack in LA and Miami recently. Both at the same time, co-ordinated.”

“They’re fighting registration with the Sokovia Accords?” Steve asked, taking a pull from his bottle of beer.

Natasha nodded.

“Those damned accords have already caused more trouble than they’re ever gonna solve.” Sam said shaking his head. “First the ‘Watchdogs’ emerge to fight In-Humans, now this group emerge to fight them back.”

“This was always going to happen. SHIELD monitored Enhanced beings and In-humans.”  Katie shrugged. “And it worked without the need for any stupid laws.”

”Yeah, so now the plan is that SHIELD are going to go legit. Come out into the open again.”

At that Katie raised her eyebrows. “And Coulson?” “No.” Natasha said, “Coulson will be in the shadows, the public director is going to be a bloke called Jeffrey Mace. He seems a decent guy.” “You know him?” Katie asked.

“Met him briefly. He was at the Accord signings in Vienna as a journalist would you believe it?” “Well he will know how to work the PR angle.” Wanda spoke for the first time in a while and Katie looked at her. She was pushing a piece of potato round on her plate, absentmindedly, no doubt wondering what would happen to her if she ever was caught with all the new rules and hatred being pushed out towards Enhanced or In-humans.

“They’re calling him Patriot.” Natasha said, and she looked at Steve, smirking slightly “Brooklyn boy, just like you Cap. Volunteered for some experiment that would give him super human strength in the wake of the Vienna bombing.” Steve let out a groan “Have SHIELD not learnt anything?”

“You had a lucky escape.” Nat quipped “If you hadn’t been on the run, they’d have been asking you to lead them from the front. Coulson wanted an enhanced person to run in the public eye, drum up support, show the world that they’re not to be feared.” “Nothing more than bullshit, political games.” Sam scoffed, and Natasha raised her eyebrows in agreement.

“Which we, thankfully, are well out of.” Steve leaned back, although Katie could see the nerve ticking in his jaw.

“Are you? Thankful, I mean?” Nat asked and Steve looked at her, frowning. “You not missing being in the thick of it at all?” He didn’t answer. If truth be told he couldn’t, not really. Some days he missed the action, missed having a job to do as such. Whilst he’d helped out occasionally for a bit for cash at the harbour, casual labour and muscle when they needed it, it wasn’t nearly challenging enough.

“What are you saying Nat?” Katie asked. Natasha sighed and leaned back.

“Fury isn’t working as part of SHIELD at the moment, not directly anyway.” She looked at her. “He’s running a few jobs off radar. At the moment he’s currently tracking a few old arms dealers that seem to be back trading old SHIELD and Chitauri stuff. Turns out in the wake of the Avengers being disbanded they all started getting brave again.” “Who’d have thought it?” Katie snorted sarcastically as she chewed at her lip. Steve and her had held this very conversation in Wakanda, wondering how long it would be before the groups they had all but eradicated emerged again in the wake of their split.

“So is that why you’re here?” Steve eyed her suspiciously “Fury wants you to recruit us?” “No.” Nat shook her head, before she smiled at Steve. “He’s going to do that himself when he drops by tomorrow.”

*****

"Why don’t you ask one of the ‘registered heroes’ for help?” Steve raised his eyebrows at Fury as the man finished explaining what he wanted the group to work on.

Fury scoffed. “Whilst SHIELD is of course, in full cooperation with the Accords, this case isn’t exactly on their radar right now.”

“What you mean is, that if it becomes public knowledge that more Chitauri and SHIELD weapons are emerging it will damage what little reputation SHIELD have managed to claw back.” Katie folded her arms. “Because they shouldn’t have ever let it get to this because you should have gotten rid of it all in the first place.”

“Look, Nova.” Fury was quick to reply. "I don’t like this any more than you do, and yes, in hindsight there are a lot of things that SHIELD should have destroyed or shut down back in the day, but I wasn’t the only one making those calls. Pierce had a lot of sway.”

“So effectively you want us to protect SHIELD’s reputation?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Why should we do that?” Wanda asked, looking at Fury “Where were you when we needed you?”

“She has a point.” Sam looked at Fury “I mean, I don’t remember SHIELD jumping to our defence after we risked everything to get to Siberia.”

Fury looked at Steve who simply raised his eyebrows. Both he and Katie agreed with Sam, they had expected at least some help from the Director but it never came. 

Or so they thought.

“Just who do you think it was that leaked to the press exactly what went down between you all?” Fury asked, leaning back in his chair. Katie felt her mouth curl up in a smile.

“That was you? Huh, I assumed it was Murdock.” “Well to assume makes an ass of you and me.” Fury quipped, looking at her. “Furthermore, thanks to me there’s currently a group of bounty-hunters sweating their asses off looking for you all in Cairo.”

Steve and Katie exchanged glances before they looked at Sam then Wanda.

“And I’ll continue to help leave false trails as I still believe in you all.” Fury looked at them each in turn “The Accords, this entire situation, yes, it’s a mess but I’m still hoping you guys care enough to want to keep fighting the good fight.”

Katie glanced at Natasha who had remained quiet through the entire discussion. She simply raised an eyebrow and gave a small smile.

“Think about it.” Fury stood up. “Romanoff knows how to contact me. When you’ve made your decision, let me know.”

He headed for the door before he turned back and looked at Katie.

“Oh, and Nova, that final trick you pulled, hacking into the CTU. It worked.”

Katie smiled and gave a small ‘huh’ of laughter and watched the man depart through the same door he’d arrived little over an hour previously.

“Okay, colour me intrigued, what did you hack the UN for?” Natasha looked at Katie and Steve tilted his head as his wife gave a coy smile.

“Technically it was Lawson. When he was digging up the information on the illegal arrests I had him wipe all the records of who accessed their evidence vault when all our gear got broken so Sharron didn’t get into trouble.”

Steve’s mouth quirked up into a small smile as he looked at his wife, once again unable to believe how downright clever she was.

“Wait.” Wanda said, frowning “Why did you do that?” “She’s a Carter.” Katie shrugged as if that was supposed to make sense. And it did to Steve and Natasha but as Sam and Wanda looked at her blankly she took a deep breath and explained “After everything Peggy did in the SSR, founding SHIELD, working with my dad, she deserves for her name and legacy to remain unsullied.”

She locked eyes with Steve who could do nothing but simply look at her, his face soft before he smiled “You really are amazing you know that?”

After an afternoon spent deliberating over Fury’s proposal, Steve told them all to sleep on it and they would make their final decision in the morning, but as he found out at three am, sleep was doing it’s very best to evade him completely.    

“Something on your mind, Soldier?” Katie murmured sleepily as he turned over in bed for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes. With a sigh he reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to wake you.” he said. “I just can’t get what Fury said outta my head.” “And even after I tried my best to make you forget as well.” she quipped and he smiled, leaning over to give her a soft kiss. She gave a soft hmmm of contentment before he pulled away and propped himself up on his elbow

"What do you think we should do?”

“Well, we could ignore it, keep laying low.” she elaborated, with a small yawn “But I know you. And whilst you’ve managed it for a year it hasn’t been easy, and don’t try and pretend you’ve been okay because I know you Steven.” He gave a small snort and looked at her as she continued “And now you know that there’s still stuff to mop up, you’re gonna find it even harder to walk away.”

"I would for you. You know that.”

“But is that what you really want?” she sighed. “Not particularly, no.” he answered honestly. “I want to help but, well, I’m no longer Captain America.”

"Meh, he was an asshole anyway.” she grinned and he gave a snort. “But you ARE Steve Rogers, the, and I quote your best friend here ‘dumbass little blonde punk that couldn’t run away from a fight.” Steve felt himself smile at Bucky’s words. “Long before the serum and the shield, you were standing up for the little guys, for what you thought was right. Okay, you were getting your ass kicked doing it, but still.”

She shrugged and Steve looked down at the silhouette of her face, and he knew she was right. He brought his hand up and with the back of his fingers gently brushed down her right cheek. 

“And you’d be okay with it?” he asked.

“Well, neither of us left the Avengers because we wanted to. So until this blows over…” “If it blows over.” “Steven.” she spoke sternly, and he could tell by the tone of her voice she was glaring at him, even if he couldn’t see her face fully. She was still clinging to some hope that the entire situation would go away, whereas Steve was much more a realist about it all.  “Until this blows over, then, maybe we could, or should keep fighting the good fight. Because that’s what we do best.”

“A band of vigilantes, huh?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Or if we’re getting paid are we mercenaries?”

“Pretty sure mercenaries don’t have ethics behind what they’re doing.” Katie snorted “No, we’ll be, erm, the ‘Nomad Law Enforcers’, NLE for short” she shrugged and he let out a laugh.

As his chuckles died down she gently reached up to stroke his face, his bearded cheek leaning into her touch.

“So, does that mean my new code name is Captain Badass?” He asked, his hand straying down to brush across her bare stomach. “No” She smiled, twitching at the touch “That’s a name only I get to say. Along with Stevie.” “Hate to break it to you, Darlin’ but Buck was calling me Stevie way before you were a twinkle in your pa’s eyes.” he said, his fingers now trailing the inside of her thigh. “Maybe so,” she snaked her arms round his neck and pulling his face down to hers, “but did he ever say it to you like I do, you know, in your ear as I’m about to c-”

“Err no.” he grinned, kissing her on the lips “That one’s all yours, doll.”

“Think you should make me say it now.” she quipped.

“As you wish, ma’am.” he smirked, rolling over on top of her, making her giggle before he cut her off by pressing his lips to hers in a fevered kiss.

The next morning around breakfast they informed the rest of the team what their decision was. Natasha shrugged and said she was in already anyway. Wanda agreed as she had nothing else to do but in the same breath Katie could tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea, so Steve told her that she could dip in and out and didn’t have to do anything she wasn’t happy about. When the only decision left was Sam’s, the man leaned back in his chair with a smirk and nodded. And whilst Steve thought the name Katie had come up with last night for their band of rag-tag heroes was ridiculous, it was ten times better than the offering Sam made.

“The Avengers Secret Society. ASS.” He grinned, draining his coffee mug. “Hell, I’m in. Where do I sign?”

******

Running the missions meant a lot of stealth and covert work, which in turn meant they had to leave the safe house they had called home for over a year for long periods, often months at a time. During those weeks they stayed either in motels or other safe houses which Fury or Natasha had access to in various places across the world as they intercepted various arms trades and took down both buyers and dealers alike. The rest of 2017 past them by in a blur now they were busy. Wanda dipped in and out, choosing sometimes to remain in the safe-house and others she would disappear to meet Vision but always kept them up to date on where she was so they could keep tracks on her. Katie was glad she was getting out and seeing the world, even if she did worry about her from time to time.

As far as lifestyles went, it was tough, hard going, but Katie could see Steve’s sparkle and drive was back in abundance. For the most the missions went without a hitch. Yes, they took knocks, broken noses, cut lips, bust ribs…but it came with the territory, and they all felt good to be back feeling like they were making a difference even if they were doing it unofficially from the shadows. And given that they were indeed vigilantes, they all removed any Avengers symbols from their suits to avoid Tony or the guys back at the compound being dragged into any further political row.

Katie and Natasha ditched their Avenger cat suits entirely, opting for leather cargo pants, jackets and combat vests whilst Sam acquired a new upper body suit for his now battered but sill functional wings. Steve had ripped the star on his uniform from his chest, which was down to a combination of wanting to stay off radar but also because of the fact that he simply wasn’t Captain America anymore, and therefore wasn’t comfortable bearing his insignia. It just didn’t feel right to be operating wearing the symbols once used when they were part of their old team. They were a painful reminder of just what it was that had brought them to this moment, how much they had lost and given up because they were not the Avengers anymore. And this also reflected in the way they operated. They were a lot less sympathetic with their fighting style and they did what they needed to do to get the job done, no more, no less- “Whatever it takes…” as Steve put it. And whilst the Captain still did his best to keep the casualties and fatalities to the minimum, that went completely out of the window one February morning in Jordan. 

They were tracking a suspected group of ex- Hydra stragglers that were, according to Fury’s intelligence, operating a lab with the aim of using a piece of SHIELD technology to manufacture weapons. They’d staked the place out over the last three days or so, and from what they could gather it was a pretty amateur operation all in all, so they didn’t meet much resistance when they stormed the place. Sam and Natasha took one side of the building, Steve and Katie the other. It didn’t take them long to clear out and restrain the hostiles and they set about sweeping the place for any devices they needed to recover before Natasha made her way down to the lab to lay the bombs that would destroy it once everyone was clear.

Steve and Katie made their way down a smaller corridor of the back of the main room whilst Sam and Natasha started to pack up the items they had come for and they reached a fork at the end. Katie went left, Steve went right. He hit a dead end pretty quickly, there only being one more room and that was completely empty. Katie, however had three rooms to look in. The first two were empty, and the third one led off to another smaller room at the back. Scanning round, she assumed the room was clear and headed through into the smaller one, kicking the door open. There was nothing in there bar filing cabinets. Seeing as she was there, she started to pull them open to see if there was anything useful, but it was all older paper work, nothing of interest. Slamming the drawer shut she heard a noise behind her, the cock of a gun and then a voice which made her freeze.

“Back for more you little SHIELD slut?”

That voice took her right back to that painfully bright cell with the hard bed, and the even harder floor.

“You like that don’t you, yeah?” His face was contorted as he grunted whilst he pounded painfully, mercilessly into her over and over again, her wrists painfully held above her head, his weight pressing onto her battered and bruised body which he had played a major part in beating before having joined in the kicking and stamping with glee. “God, she’s so fuckin’ tight…”

She spun round to look at the man who had violated her numerous times, his face exactly the same, wearing the same predatory sneer. Her fists clenched at her side as she weighed up her options, she could probably take him now, even with the gun.

But she hesitated too long.

Her rapist smirked as he raised the gun, keeping it trained on her as he took half a step forward and automatically she moved backwards, her body pressing against the metal of the filing cabinet.

“What? Still no scream?” He chuckled. “You know, we used to have a competition, see which one of us would be the one that made you finally break. But, I gotta hand it to you, you never made a sound. Frankly, it kind of became a bit boring. I’ve had better lays from my palm.” It was then that Katie noticed a movement behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Steve stood in the doorway with a look on his face that Katie had never seen before. Unadulterated anger, rage and fury radiated from every single bit of his body as he stared at the back of the man’s head, his lips curling up into an ugly sneer, a flash of white teeth glinting in the dim white from beneath his beard. “Whatever happens tomorrow you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.”

Steve remembered those words like Dr Erskine had spoken them just yesterday. And for the most part he had lived by them, trying every day to be a man that people could look up to. Years of loss and grief and fighting had made it hard but he had never killed in cold blood and, if possible he always went for the non-fatal take downs. But now, as he heard the words the man in front of him said to his wife as she stood, pressed against the cabinet at the far wall, her chest heaving, eyes wide with a hatred so fierce but yet an unmistakable glimmer of fear underneath it all, he knew exactly who this guy was.

This was one of the animals that had violated her. 

And he wanted to kill the fucker.

At the sight of her husband Katie instantly relaxed, she was safe. There was nothing the bastard in front of her could do to her, not whilst Steve was there. The man saw her change in posture, and frowned as she looked back at him and smirked slightly.

“You want a fight, it’s your lucky day, although I don’t fancy your chances much.” 

She nodded behind her and the man wheeled round fast but he didn’t’ even get chance to point his gun at Steve before the Super Soldier’s fist connected hard with his face, knocking out his front teeth. He staggered backwards and Katie was waiting with a well- aimed leg swipe which sent him crashing to the floor. As he went to push himself up Steve brought his large, boot clad foot down and stomped with all his might on his left hand.

”They broke my fingers and took my rings…��� Katie’s voice echoed around his mind as he stamped again, and again before he picked the HYDRA agent up by the collar and smashed his head straight onto the desk.

The man lay groaning in pain on the floor, spitting out blood as he pitifully begged for mercy and Steve allowed him to crawl a few feet away before he kicked him hard in the ribs, stalking him, toying with him, as a cat does with its prey. But like all cats, eventually Steve got bored and hauled him back up again. He spun the snivelling piece of shit round so his back was clamped to his chest, one large forearm over the guy’s throat, palm of the other hand clamped his forehead, pinning him in place and forcing him to look at Katie for no reason other than the fact he wanted her face to be the last thing the bastard’s shitty, Hydra supporting eyes ever looked at.

All the anger Steve felt at how they had abused his wife, his beautiful girl, speared red hot inside him as he remembered the state she’d been in when they’d picked her up. How long it had taken her to heal physically. And all those nights he had held her close after she woke from a nightmare. He’d sworn to himself he would die before he let anyone hurt her again. 

“She told me you did to her.” Steve’s voice was steely, as he spoke into the man’s ear. “You abused her, tortured her, beat her and laughed about it. But now who’s laughing? Look how alive she is, how beautiful and strong she is. How she survived, which is more than you’re gonna do.”

At those words the man, who was groaning to himself began to struggle again, begging for his life. Steve merely tightened his grip.

“I want you to know that you dying is simply because of what you did to my wife. So fuck HYDRA and fuck you.” He snarled, and with a quick, savage twist of his arms, Katie heard the snap and the man grew limp, his neck broken in one, easy movement.

Steve tossed the dead man unceremoniously to the floor, his chest heaving as he looked down at the body on the floor. He’d just killed someone in cold blood. And he didn’t care one single bit.

Katie watched her husband as he looked down at the dead man, utter disgust on his face and she felt a ridiculous surge of affection for her soldier. She knew he’d grappled with the fact he had, in his opinion, failed to keep her safe and, no matter how many times she told him he was ridiculous, she would never convince him otherwise. He’d just abandoned all moral code he had, killing someone out of no reason but the desire for revenge because he loved her. 

He loved her enough to kill someone that had hurt her. As she watched, Steve raised his head to look at her. "You okay?” He asked, his voice full of concern, not a shred of the anger or hatred it had been filled with before was left. She nodded.

“Come on.”  He held out his hand. She stepped over the body on the floor, laced her fingers into his, but they hadn’t even reached the door of the outer room they’d walked through when she pulled on his arm and as he turned to face her, she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to her, furiously kissing him, teeth clashing, beard scratching-fuck she loved the feel of that- as she emptied every single emotion she was feeling into his mouth. She pulled away and rest her head against his, desire flooding her system, some dark inner part of her had awoken at his merciless persona and he spotted it, a curious tilt of his head to the side told her so much. “Steve, if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m filing for divorce.” He arched an eyebrow “Divorces are messy, we can’t have that.” and the words were barely out of his mouth before he had spun her round, slamming her against the wall, kissing her hard again, groaning as she grasped his growing erection through his combat trousers.

“Right here?” He growled and she nodded eagerly, already fumbling with his utility belt. The clanging of buckles, zipping of trousers and the rustling of fabric filled the air as they both shed the minimum amount of clothing they needed to so that Katie could wrap her legs around Steve’s waist as he lifted her up by the back of her thighs, pressing her against the wall whilst he continued to kiss her neck, biting and sucking at any bit he could get to. He didn’t waste any time before he thrust up into her hard, making her cry out.

It was almost depraved, them fucking with a dead body in the room next to them, but neither of them cared, they were too caught up in a whirlwind of lust and emotions that enveloped them completely. Steve’s hips snapped back and forth with a pace and a vigour that was merciless as he pistoned in and out of her again and again. Her palms were scrabbling at the wall behind her trying to gain some traction and Steve quickly pushed further against her to give her more support so she could move her hands round his shoulders, where she clawed desperately at the material of his uniform as her head fell forward and her teeth nipped at his ear drawing a growl from his throat. Her hands moved into his long hair, where she pulled sharply back causing him to hiss and look up her and the pupils of her eyes were blown wide with a desire he would never tire of seeing.  She pushed her hips down against him causing him to drive deeper and she let out an almost primal cry he had never, in their almost five years of being together, heard her make before. It simply revved him up even more, his rapid movements growing even more urgent.

“Fuck, Stevie,” she moaned, her head rolling back against the wall as her hands clamped onto his shoulders as she started to feel that snake in her belly moving. He felt the tell-tale flutter of her clamping around him and he continued his voracious pace until she cried out, a loud scream before she dropped her head to his shoulder, as she moaned his name, again and again whilst he pounded through her orgasm chasing his own.

“Shit, Katie! I’m…fuck!” his words tumbled into her hair as his movements became desperate and he came with such a force that he felt his knees buckling underneath him and even his super strength wasn’t enough to keep him upright, the absolute gratification he felt was just too much. He caught her as the pair of them collapsed to the dirty concrete floor, her on top of him, a tangle of clothing and limbs, chests heaving, sweat on both their brows as he held her to him, panting and shaking. Neither of them had any idea how long they stayed like that, but eventually Steve managed to gain enough control to sit them both upright, his wife on his lap has he gently brushed the tendrils of hair that had fallen over her face back, and looked at her, his lips gently greeting hers in a soft, tender kiss, a stark contrast to the violent ones they had shared moments before. She smiled at him, unadulterated love in her eyes as she moved her hands to brush his hair back before she leaned down and kissed him again, before her nose slide against his.

“I adore you.” She whispered softly, and he pulled her to him, nuzzling into her neck as he sighed.

“Feeling is mutual, Doll” He murmured, causing her to chuckle before they heard a noise in both their ears.

“Yeah, erm, you do realise your coms were on. That whole time.” Sam’s tone was laced with dismay.  “Erm yep, so we errr, we heard everything.”

Steve felt himself grow cold and he let out a soft groan of utter embarrassment into Katie’s neck

“Most excitement Sammy’s had in years.” Natasha quipped

Katie on the other hand, instead of shrinking with humiliation, threw back her head and laughed, and when Steve looked up at her, unsure exactly what she found so funny about it all, he saw her just fucked pink flush, her eyes which were practically crinkled shut in mirth, her perfect teeth surrounding by those plump lips he could kiss all day, and that freckle spattered nose which was wrinkled as she continued to howl with amusement.

And right then he didn’t care what Sam and Natasha had heard, because frankly, seeing her like that was worth whatever digs and snarky comments that were going to get their way. 

******

April 2018

“Huh…” Nat mused as they entered the dilapidated house, her and Katie pulling off their hoods and masks “Guess my old KGB contacts can pull through in a pinch.”

“We should move fast.” Steve looked at the door to the small, market stall lined street outside “Won’t take long for them to notice something is wrong.”

“I’ll keep watch.” Katie nodded, peering out through the crack in the door into the dusty, desert air as Natasha examined the gun she was holding.

“Definitely Chitauri. Although they’ve been heavily modified.”

Natasha effortlessly deactivated the weapons and they worked quickly and efficiently packing them into the crates ready to take them to the outskirts of the city to the drop point.

“You reckon we’ve earned a break after these ones?” Sam asked, as they began to load the heavy crates onto the back of the truck. Steve smiled as he looked at Sam. They’d been on back to back missions pretty much since New Year so far, the latest of which had brought Steve back to a very familiar market place in Yemen, one he had swore he would never come back to after the last time he’d run an op here. It was hot, dusty, and he had to admit to himself (because he would never admit it to anyone else) he was ready for a break.

“Yeah I think Wanda had the right idea.” Katie mumbled. She wasn’t feeling all that great if truth be told. She’d woken up a few days ago with a dodgy stomach after what she suspected was bad chicken, and it was taking her a while to shake it off. 

They made the drop and headed back to the jet where Katie grabbed another bottle of water and sank into one of the chairs, almost draining it in one. After a few breaths, the queasiness she had been feeling all the drive back to the jet dissipated somewhat and she lay her head back, closing her eyes.

Steve passed his wife, his hand gently running over her hair as she leaned back to take a nap. He knew she wasn’t feeling great but she’d assured him it was nothing serious. Steve was pleased to note that she looked better than she had done a few days ago, there was more colour in her cheeks, so hopefully she was over the worst of it.

Sam got them airborne and set the coordinates for the Safe House, and Steve found himself looking forward to getting back after almost five weeks away. The jet was pretty much silent for a few hours, Steve at one point switching out with Sam to allow him to get some rest too. That last mission had been a hard one, but worth it.

“Have either of you heard from Wanda?” Natasha asked a little while later, as she looked up from the tablet she was poking about on.

Steve shook his head as did Sam. Natasha let out a growl. “She’s deactivated the tracker on her phone. I warned her about that last time.”  

“She isn’t a prisoner Nat.” Steve raised his eyebrows, looking over at Katie who was still sleeping.  “She knows the risks. She’s been doing it on and off for the last two years.”

“I get that, but we don’t know where she is.”

“Look, we should be back at the safe house in what, an hour or so? Let’s wait and see if she’s there.” Steve suggested. “If we don’t hear from her by the morning, then we’ll worry.”

Nat opened her mouth to argue back but Steve shot her his infamous captain glare, signalling the debate was over. She shrugged.

“On your head be it.” She said, nonchalantly before completely changing the subject. “Fury’s patched through a new target- another Terrorist Sect grouping for an attack he suspects.”

“Where is it this time?” Sam called from the cockpit.

“Columbia” Natasha answered.

“Alright,” Steve nodded. “We’ll take a proper look at it once we’re back at the Safe House”

At that point. Katie gave a soft murmur as she stretched out her limbs, opening one eye blearily, then the other. She blinked and Steve stood up, heading over to her.

“Hey, sleepy.” He smiled, dropping a soft kiss to her temple as he crouched down in front of her. “You sure you’re okay?”

Katie at her husband, his handsome face sported a few more lines than it had done this time two years ago, and the spectacular beard he had sported hid his jawline, but his eyes never changed, and here they were so full of concern and love over something so minor as an upset stomach that it almost made her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled. “I feel much better now.” Which she did. The funny feeling in her stomach and fuzziness in her head was well gone.

Before Steve could say anything else, Sam called his name and he glanced round as he straightened up and looked at the screen on the cockpit.

“Cap, I’m getting a report, some kind of ship”

“Where?” Steve asked as the pair of us turned to face him.

“Seems to be over the mainland UK of all places.” Sam frowned “It’s not much, but it’s big for sure. We’re not far out, fancy a slight detour on the way home, see what it is?”

Before he could answer, Nat strode to the middle of the jet, tablet in her hand.

“You need to see this.”

She swiped at the screen and the footage she was referring to appeared on the hologram display. Katie watched a familiar red and gold figure speeding through the air over the familiar back drop of down-town New York, tangling with, well, she wasn’t sure what the hell they were.

“Oh my God.” she muttered, as she read the tag line playing across the bottom of the news report- New York attacked.

The four of them paused as more footage showed the kid known as Spider-Man swinging through the air, and two other men, one with a long, crimson cloak, all facing off against two foes.  

“When did this happen?” Steve asked eventually, looking at Nat

“15 minutes or so ago.”

Steve didn’t say anything, instead he moved to the locker at the back of the jet, and taking a deep breath, he pulled out his half of the pair of burner phones he had gotten from T’Challa almost two years ago. Stark’s technology still, after all these years, amazed him. An amplified booster on all the jets he owned made it possible to for a mobile phone to continue working whilst in the air. He glanced up at Katie, before flipping open the phone and then all four of them stopped dead as it began to ring before Steve had the chance to even dial. 

“Stark?” His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he asked the question, even though there was no one else with that number…

“Steve, hi, it’s Bruce. It’s err, been a while.”

Steve paused his eyes widening at the surprise at hearing his onetime team mate. “Yeah, yeah it has,” was all he could say. “Listen, there’s not a lot of time to explain but something big, someone big to be exact, is coming, and they’re after Vision.” “Vision?” Steve paused, standing still where he had been pacing unknowingly.

“For the Stone.” Bruce continued. “He’s turned off his transponder so we can’t track him, but Tony…” Bruce took a deep voice and Steve glanced up at Katie who was watching him intently. “Tony went after the ship, Cap, he’s on the ship, heading out to space, but before it all started he was about to call you. He said that you might be able to find Vision. And we need to, we need to before they do. You got any idea where he is?”

Steve listened to Bruce’s rambles, a million and one questions were whirring round his head, but there was no time for that. If this was as big an issue as he said, they had to find Vision. And right now, he would hazard a guess that he was wherever that huge ship over the UK was.

“I don’t know for sure, but I have a pretty good idea.” He sighed.

“You need to get him before they do Steve, and I mean it. This is the biggest threat we’ve ever faced. This guy, well even Thor couldn’t stop him.”

Now that really did worry him, but again there was time to think about that later. “Leave it with us.” he said gently, before he closed the phone and stuck it into his pocket.

“What is it?” Katie asked, “Was that Tony?”

Ignoring her, Steve strode to the front of the jet and spoke to Sam. “That reading. Can you get a lock on it?”

“Piece of cake”

“Get us there, fast.” Steve instructed. Sam nodded to show he had understood.

Steve looked back at Natasha and Katie as his wife crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation, not impressed with being ignored.

“Whatever is on that Ship, chances are they’re looking for Vision.” Steve said simply “They want the stone in his head.”

“Wanda…” Nat muttered gently, as she hurried to the front of the jet.

Katie’s eyes however went back on the footage of the spinning space ship above the city they once called home.

“Steve.” She said eventually “Tell me please, how was he?”

“Sweetheart, it wasn’t Tony.” Steve replied, his voice low as he looked up at the cockpit. Natasha and Sam were busy flicking switches. “It was Banner”

“Banner?” she frowned “But what? I mean how?” “I don’t know but he said that Tony had go-…”

“We got it, Cap.” Sam interrupted. “Just over Edinburgh, I’ve locked in the route, we should be wheels down in ten.”

Steve nodded and then turned back to Katie as she carried on speaking.

“What about Tony?” she pressed.

Steve opened his mouth to answer but he stopped, his eyes falling onto the footage, still playing on the hollovision. Katie followed his gaze, the next line across the bottom answered her question.

Billionaire Tony Stark missing.

Katie couldn’t find any words to say. Instead she felt her breathing deepen and she swallowed thickly staring at the footage. Missing? Like, kidnapped? Missing in Action, missing presumed dead…a thousand and one thoughts  began running through her head, all of them coming back to the last time they had seen one another, the harsh exchange of words and him telling her he was ashamed of her before she left him in that cold bunker in Siberia.

Steve’s hand dropped onto his wife’s shoulder as he noticed her lip was beginning to wobble. 

“We get Vision and then we work on finding him.” He assured her gently, looking at Katie who looked up at him.

“We best hope we find him.” She swallowed again before she looked down at her hands. “Because if worst comes to worst and the last time we spoke to each other was when we parted on such bad terms, I’ll never forgive myself Steve.”

**** O/S: Vanilla

Chapter 36 Part 1

**Original Posting**

[lunmelia]

A List of All of Dean Winchester’s Injuries

Yes. I did. I did go through every single episode of Supernatural and recorded every time Dean got injured. Do not question me, I know what I did, I had no one tell me ‘no’ so I did it, and now I’m done. 

Now, this list might not be the most accurate. I did not sit down and watch every single episode in full, eyes glued to the screen for every time Dean got injured. I only skimmed. Here’s a gif I made to show how I did it: 

(sorry it’s bad quality it’s the first gif I’ve ever made) I skimmed through the episode and used the little preview screen to look for any time there was fast movement, blood or a spell that might require someone cutting their palm. I also kept an eye out for angel-banishing sigils. Since I only skimmed, there’s a chance I missed some injuries or even times that Dean was magically healed. So again, might not be an accurate list but I did my best. Feel free to tell me anything I missed. 

Here’s a key to help you through the list: - most of this lists the actual injury, e.g. “cut on left temple” but other times it’ll list an action that may cause injruy, e.g. “thrown into wall”  - “thrown into/against” means that he impacted the object, but the object did not break / he did not go through it - “thrown through” means that the object broke on impact and he ended up on the other side - “internal pain” means that someone used magic to do something to him, but I have no idea what, all I know is that he looked in pain and was mostly gripping his stomach - “handcuffed” means actual handcuffs were used, “tied around wrists” means either rope or zip-ties were used - “punched” means just punched in the face, any other area on the body will be specified - any episodes that aren’t on the list means he wasn’t injured in them

Some misc notes: - I do not include any injuries that don’t actually happen, e.g. future visions, nightmares, hallucinations or a fake reality - I might be inconsistent with the amount of times I specify what was used to knock Dean out, and not listing what was used. Sorry about that. It’s because I either just couldn’t see the object, or I was lazy that day - I don’t usually specify the size of the injury either, I usually just say “cut”, sorry. I only realised like 6 seasons in that I probably should be specifying the size, and also taking screenshots, but I couldn’t be bothered going back and fixing it, nor could I be bothered specifying the size from then on. I’m sorry, it was just going to feel weird if 6 seasons in I only then start specifying - I don’t include possessions, but I do specify when injuries happen while possessed - I include some commentary of what kind of injuries I thought should’ve happened based on the action - There will also be a list for Sam’s injuries posted later, but there will not be one for Cas. Going into this, I only wanted to know Dean and Sam’s injuries for some redesigns I want to do, I didn’t feel it was necessary for me to know Cas’ because he won’t have scars in my redesign (at least his vessel won’t). Please don’t expect me to go back and make a list for Cas, this already took up so much of my time and I don’t want to do it again. 

Let’s begin, shall we?

Season 1

1x1: Pilot - jumps off a bridge 1x2: W*ndigo - wrists tied above his head - cut on left side of forehead - cut on right cheek - cut on right side of neck 1x5: Bloody Mary - infected by Bloody Mary 1x6: Skin - tied to a chair around his chest, hips, wrists and ankles 1x10: Asylum  - shot in the chest with rock salt - mind almost influenced by Ellicot, manages to burn the corpse before he can, but it did cause him pain 1x11: Scarecrow - knocked out with the butt of a gun - wrists tied up above his head 1x12: Faith - electrocuted, passes out - heart attack - heart is damaged (their words not mine)  - healed by a reaper - life drained from him, process is stopped before completed 1x15: The Benders - cut above right eye - knocked unconscious with a pan - punched - burn on upper left pec 1x16: Shadow - cut on edge of right eyebrow - wrists tied - four claw marks down the left side of his forehead 1x18: Something Wicked - cut on left side of hairline 1x22: Devil’s Trap - thrown into a windshield - diagonal cut across his chest

Hey! Under the cut this post is really long!! Please be sure you want to read the rest before clicking because you’ll be scrolling for a while!

Season 2

2x1: In My Time of Dying - in a carcrash  - vertical cut on right side of forehead - cut on right ear - cut on left cheek - bruised and cut knuckles - head truama - cut on left forearm 2x2: Everybody Love a Clown - punched 2x3: Bloodlust - punched - thrown into a table 2x7: The Usual Suspects - handcuffed 2x10: Hunted - knocked unconscious by the butt of a sniper rifle - tied around his wrists and ankles 2x12: Nightshifter - choked - punched 2x14: Born Under a Bad Sign - knocked unconscious with a gun - shot in the left shoulder - thrown against a wall - punched - cut above left eye 2x15: Tall Tales - thrown around - punched 2x16: Roadkill - cut along the right side of his jaw / cheek - thrown against a wall 2x19: Folsom Prison Blues - handcuffed on wrists and ankles - punched - cut on left cheek - hit in the gut 2x20: What is and What Should Never Be - strangled - put to sleep by a Djinn - wrists tied above his head - drained of his blood 2x22: All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2 - thrown into a gravestone - diagonal cut on the right side of his forehead

Season 3

3x1: The Magnificent Seven - hit in the face and stomach 3x2: The Kids are Alright - thrown around - punched - kneed - elbowed  3x3: Bad Day at Black Rock  - stumbles and falls into a table - hit in the chin with gun 3x4: Sin City - thrown around - strangled 3x5: Bedtime Stories - strangled - thrown into a cabinet (probably has cuts since the cabinet had glass) - punched - cut on left side of his hairline 3x6: Red Sky At Morning - thrown into a gravestone 3x7: Fresh Blood - slash on inner left forearm - thrown into a wall - bit on the right side of his neck 3x8: A Very Supernatural Christmas - head banged against a wall and knocked unconscious - tied to a chair by his wrists and ankles - slash on inner left forearm - slash on inner right forearm - cut on right side of hairline - punched 3x9: Malleus Maleficarum - either hexed, sick by voodoo or a spell, they never really specify, but he vomits blood (healed by a potion) - thrown into a picture frame (likely bleeding at back of head) 3x12: Jus in Bello - handcuffed - shot in the left shoulder - punched - thrown against wall 3x13: Ghostfacers!  - thrown around 3x14: Long-Distance Call - punched - cut on right eyebrow 3x15: Time is On My Side - thrown into a cabinet 3x16: No Rest for the Wicked - kneed - punched - cut above right eye - thrown onto a table - torn to shreds by a hellhound - (3 long slashes on left thigh) - (4 long slashes down chest) - (1 long slash from right shoulder to hip, back and front) - DEAD 

Season 4

4x1: Lazarus Rising -(resurrected by Castiel, clean slate, no scars) - handprint burnt into his left shoulder - cut on inner left bicep - bruised and cut knuckles - bleeds out of his ears from Castiel trying to talk to him 4x2: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester - punched - kicked in the face - kicked in the gut - Victor’s ghost hand in his chest 4x3: In the Beginning - thrown into a wall - punched - kicked - thrown into a bookshelf 4x4: Metamorphosis - thrown against a wall - strangled - slammed into a table and knocked unconscious - cut above right eyebrow 4x5: Monster Movie - shoved into a wall - drugged - tied down in a metal contraption - punched 4x6: Yellow Fever - crashed into a shopping cart - infected by “ghost sickness” - three scratch marks on inner left forearm - punched - both inner forearms scratched up (disappears once the ghost is killed) 4x7: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester - internal pain - thrown into a wall 4x8: Wishful Thinking - super punched into some trash cans - possible broken knuckles - strangled 4x9: I Know What You Did Last Summer - shoved into a wall - punched - jumped out a window - dislocated shoulder - cut on outer right forearm - possibly some cuts along his torso - slash on outer left forearm 4x10: Heaven and Hell - punched - choked 4x11: Family Remains okay so I literally could not see a thing this episode, it was a very dark episode, but I think Dean got punched 4x12: Criss Angel is a Douche Bag - hung by his neck 4x14: Sex and Violence - infected by a siren - punched - thrown around - stabbed in the back of his right shoulder 4x15: Death Takes a Holiday - thrown into a gravestone and knocked out 4x16: On the Head of a Pin - punched - cut across nose - cut above left eye - strangled 4x17: It’s a Terrible Life - thrown into a shelf - thrown against a wall - cut on left side of hairline 4x18: The Monster at the End of This Book - hit by a car (he’s fine) 4x19: Jump The Shark - thrown through a glass door - punched 4x20: The Rupture - cut above left eyebrow - punched 4x21: When the Levee Breaks - punched - kneed - thrown face first into a mirror - thrown into a glass table - strangled 4x22: Lucifer Rising - punched Cas, hurt his knuckles

Season 5

5x1: Sympathy for the Devil - punched through wooden railing - kicked through a door - kneed - drew an angel banishing symbol so there is a cut either on his left forearm or left palm - stage 4 stomach cancer (healed) 5x2: Good God, Ya’ll! - kneed in the groin - punched 5x4: The End - knocked unconscious - handcuffed - punched 5x5: Fallen Idols - punched - knocked unconscious - tied around wrists 5x6: I Believe The Children Are Our Future - thrown into a wall - strangled 5x7: The Curious Case of Dean Winchester - aged rapidly into an old man 5x8: Changing Channels - grabbed on right bicep with super strangth - shot in the back (possibly healed by Gabriel? they don’t specify what happened) - shoved into a door 5x9: The Real Ghostbusters - thrown against a wall - strangled 5x10: Abandon All Hope - punched into a tree - cut on edge of right eyebrow 5x11: Sam, Interrupted - thrown against a wall - punched 5x12: Swap Meat - thrown into a wall - thrown into a mirror 5x13: The Song Remains The Same - strangled - thrown through a window - knocked unconscious  - thrown around 5x14: My Bloody Valentine - punches Cupid - thrown into a door - cut above left eyebrow 5x15: Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid - handcuffed 5x16: Dark Side of the Moon - shot in the chest - DEAD (resurrected by Joshua) 5x17: 99 Problems - bruised and cut knuckles - strangled 5x18: Point of No Return - drew an angel-banishing sigil so he must have cut himself somewhere but it isn’t visible - shoved against wall - punched - kicked into chain-link fence - cut on left cheek - handcuffed - split lip - cut on his chin 5x19: Hammer of the Gods - thrown into a shelf 5x20: The Devil You Know - cut on left side of hairline - kicked 5x21: Two Minutes to Midnight - affected by pestilence (stopped later on) - faints  - fingers stepped on, possibly broken  - left palm burnt 5x22: Swan Song - thrown into windshield - punched - cut on right cheek - broken nose - cut above left eyebrow - (all healed by Cas)

Season 6

6x1: Exile on Main St - stabbed in the chest with a syringe - poisoned by Djinn 6x2: Two and a Half Men - thrown around - strangled and passes out 6x3: The Third Man - there’s an angel banishing sigil that I’m assuming he drew, so there might be a cut on one of his forearms or palms 6x5: Live Free or Twihard - thrown into a dumpster - punched - forced to drink blood of vampire - passes out - cured of vampirism  6x6: You Can’t Handle The Truth - knocked unconscious - tied by his wrists 6x9: Clap Your Hands If You Believe - abducted by fairies (don’t know if he was knocked out or if something else happened) - punched - handcuffed - thrown into iron bars - cut by right eye 6x10: Caged Heart - knocked unconscious 6x11: Appointment in Samarra  - DEAD (brought back by Dr. Robert and Eva) 6x13: Unforgiven - tied up with webs - strangled 6x15: The French Mistake - thrown through a window - punched - internal pain 6x16: ... And Then There Were None - infected with the khan worm - electrocuted on his left outer forearm, leaves a horizontal burn mark 6x18: Frontierland - jumps through a window 6x19: Mommy Dearest - bit on the lower left side of his neck, near the nape (healed by Cas) 6x20: The Man Who Would Be King - punched 6x21: Let It Bleed - thrown into a car - strangled - punched 6x22: The Man Who Knew Too Much - in the impala when it’s flipped over - thrown over stairs and impacts onto a metal table (that honestly should have straight up broken his back)

Season 7

7x1: Meet the New Boss - horizontal cut on right forearm - thrown into a metal table and glass jars 7x2: Hello, Cruel World - left palm cut, maybe back of hand - broken right leg 7x3: The Girl Next Door - cut on left eyebrow - cut on left ear 7x4: Defending Your Life - possibly knocked unconscious - chained to a chair 7x5: Shut Up, Dr. Phil - thrown through a glass door - punched 7x6: Slash Fiction - handcuffed - thrown into a trophy cabinet 7x7: The Mentalists - window exploded next to him (he should earn some cuts from that) - punched 7x8: Season 7, Time for a Wedding! - thrown into a column - strangled 7x9: How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters - poisoned by goo (nothing serious, he’s just unconcerned with everything for a bit) 7x11: Adventures In Babysitting - horizontal cut on his left outer forearm - strangled 7x12: Time After Time - handcuffed - punched - strangled 7x15: Repo Man - stabbed with a syringe on the right side of his neck - tied around his wrists - vertical cut on his left outer forearm 7x16: Out With the Old - kicked in the face - thrown into a glass cabinet - thrown into a table with glass on it - thrown through a glass door 7x17: The Born-Again Identity - head banged against glass - thrown into a shelf 7x20: The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragon Tattoo - somersaulted through glass 7x21: Reading is Fundamental - drew an angel-banishing sigil, so there is a cut on one of his forearms or palms 7x22: There Will Be Blood - cut on left palm - thrown around

Season 8

8x1: We Need to Talk About Kevin - horizontal cut on his left outer forearm - horizontal cut on his left inner forearm - honestly cannot tell what’s meant to be his injury and what’s meant to be someone else’s blood. He might have cuts on his ears, head and neck, right cheek, and nose. Maybe along his chin and jaw too - bruised and cut knuckles - strangled 8x2: What’s Up, Tiger Mommy? - cuts around his right eye - cut on his upper lip - thrown into a wall 8x3: Heartache - punched - slammed onto his back - five holes in chest from fingers 8x4: Bitten - thrown into a wall 8x5: Blood Brother - cut on his left cheek, though I’m not sure if it’s new or from the last Purgatory flashback 8x6: Southern Comfort - punched - strangled - thrown into a table - infected by a coin? I’m not completely 100% sure what happened there - thrown into glass 8x7: A Little Slice of Kevin - horizontal cut on left inner forearm - rolled down a hill - thrown into some chains 8x8: Hunteri Heroici - hard impact on floor - hit in the face with a pan 8x9: Citizen Fang - punched - handcuffed - cut above right eyebrow - thrown into some wood planks - slice on the left side of his neck 8x10: Torn and Frayed - threw himself against a door multiple times - thrown against a window - strangled 8x12: As Time Goes By - handcuffed 8x13: Everybody Hates Hitler - thrown into a car - punched 8x14: Trial and Error - possible claw marks on left side, he puts his hand there but injury isn’t visible and not treated after 8x15: Man’s Best Friend With Benefits - thrown into a bedside table and knocked unconscious - thrown into a painting and tables 8x16: Remember the Titans - tripped and tossed onto the ground - flung back against ground - thrown against column 8x17: Goodbye Stranger - thrown into a wall - either broken or twisted right arm - punched - cut on left eyebrow - cut on bottom lip - cut on left cheek - cut near centre of forehead - cut on left temple - cut on nose, nose also probably broken - (all healed by Cas) 8x19: Taxi Driver - thrown into a tree 8x23: Sacrifice - handcuffed

Season 9

9x1: I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here - head banged against boot of impala - windows exploded around him, might earn him a few cuts - strangled - cut on left side of hairline - cut on left eyebrow - cut below left eye - possible cut below lip, can’t tell if it’s meant to be a cut or if it’s just a lot of blood - either a cut on his left ear or his ears bled from the sound of angels - possibly went unconscious for a second - two cuts on right cheek - cut near his left temple 9x2: Devil May Care - punched - arm twisted - thrown through a window 9x3: I’m No Angel - thrown into a counter and hits a trashcan when he falls off 9x4: Slumber Party - punched across room - kicked in groin while possessed by a witch 9x5: Dog Dean Afternoon - punched - kneed - elbowed - tied around wrists 9x6: Heaven Can’t Wait - thrown against a wall 9x7: Bad Boys - thrown against a wall - choked - thrown into a table - handcuffed 9x8: Rock and a Hard Place - enveloped by blue flame - thrown through table and knocked unconscious 9x9: Road Trip - punched unconscious - thrown against column 9x10: Road Trip - thrown into a bookshelf 9x11: First Born - thrown onto a table x2 - kneed - punched in the chest - shoved into a shelf, counter and wall - Mark of Cain transferred over to him 9x13: The Purge - passes out 9x14: Captives - knocked unconscious - cut on left eyebrow - tied around his wrists - cut on right side of neck, under jaw 9x15: #THINMAN - tasered unconscious - handcuffed 9x18: Meta Fiction - cut up knuckles 9x19: Alex Annie Alexis Ann - knocked unconscious with a piece of wood - punched through a chair 9x21: King of the Damned - thrown into a glass frame painting 9x22: Stairway to Heaven - handcuffed - punched 9x23: Do You Believe in Miracles - vomiting / coughing up blood - thrown into a concrete wall x2 - kicked in the face - crushed wrist - cuts along hairline - cut on right eyebrow - cut on left cheek - stabbed in the centre of chest with angel blade - cuts on chin - possible split lip - cut above left eyebrow - DEAD (wakes up as a demon)

Season 10

10x2: Reichenbach  - cut on left palm (heals itself) - cut on left cheek (heals itself) - handcuffed 10x3: Soul Survivor - tied around ankles (still handcuffed) - needle in right inner forearm x 4 - needle in back of neck 10x4: Paper Moon  - hit on the back of head with gun - punched 10x5: Fan Fiction - thrown into a wooden set piece - backhanded a few feet 10x6: Ask Jeeves - thrown into a bedside table and lamp - hit shoulders against doors multiple times 10x7: Girls, Girls, Girls - punched - hit in the face with a gun - hit in the gut - cut on left cheek - cut on left eyebrow - cut on right side of cheek 10x8: Hibbing 911 - knocked unconscious - tied around wrists - punched 10x9: The Things We Left Behind - bottle smashed over his head - cut on left side of head - kicked in the face 10x10: The Hunter Games - bruised and cut knuckles 10x11: There’s No Place Like Home - strangled - punched - kicked - kneed - thrown - cut across nose - cut on right eyebrow - bruised and cut knuckles 10x12: About a Boy - strangled - elbowed - hit repeatedly against tiled floor and fridge 10x13: Half & Catch Fire - thrown into a brick column - thrown through a door and into a shelf - strangled 10x14: The Executioner’s Song - hit in the right side - thrown around  - punched - thrown through a window - lots of small cuts around right eye - strangled - split lip 10x15: The Things They Carried - thrown onto a table and into the edge of a fireplace - tackled into a table 10x16: Paint it Black - backhanded across a room - strangled 10x17: Inside Man - hit in the back - tackled into a wood column - tackled onto a pool table - strangled - punched 10x18: Book of the Damned - tackled by someone who just jumped through a window - punched 10x19: The Werther Project - cut on right side of hairline - possibly a cut or two on or behind right ear - cut on left side of hairline - bruised and cut knuckles  - tied to a chair by wrists, middle and ankles - horizontal cut on right forearm 10x20: Angel Heart - kicked - punched 10x21: Dark Dynasty - kicked in the back - strangled  - thrown into a dumpster 10x22: The Prisoner - handcuffed - plastic bag over head, suffocated - tied down to a table by wrists and ankles - maybe some cuts on his head, arms and knuckles but honestly I think all the blood on him belongs to others, I don’t think he was injured at all while killing the Stynes 10x23: Brother’s Keeper - punches a mirror - cut on left palm - punched - struck by lightning that removes the Mark of Cain

Season 11

11x1: Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire - pushed to the ground 11x2: Form and Void - headbutted - thrown through a door and into a wall 11x3: The Bad Seed - thrown into a concrete wall - thrown through wood pallets - thrown into a chain-link fence - punched - cut above and below left eyebrow - split lip 11x4: Baby - punched - strangled - cut above left eye - two cuts below left eye - handcuffed - three cuts on right cheek, close to jaw - cuts worsened from the impala crashing - cut on or behind right ear - shoved against impala  - bit on left side of neck - cut on right temple - cut on nose - cut below lip - (all is hinted to be healed by Cas later on) 11x5: Thin Lizzie - knocked unconscious - cut on left side of hairline - tied around wrists - hit in head by gun 11x6: Our Little World - thrown through a mirror - thrown against stone pillar - thrown against wall 11x7: Push - face smashed against bars - thrown against desk - thrown through glass door - strangled 11x8: My Imagination - tied around his wrists - cut on left cheek - cut on left ear 11x10: The Devil in the Details - vomited - kicked - strangled - cut above and below left eye 11x11: Into the Mystic - eyes and ears bleeding from Banshee’s screech - head bashed into wooden column multiple times - cut on right side of hairline 11x13: Love Hurts - target of the “Kiss of Death” curse - wrist either broken or twisted 11x14: The Vessel - head banged on table - thrown onto table and lands on floor - shoved against stone column 11x15: Beyond the Mat - thrown against a metal beam - thrown through a door and into a wall - thrown down onto concrete ground - punched - tied around wrists 11x16: Safe House - hit by something and impacts the ground - knocked unconscious - cut on left palm - punched (while possessed by Soul Eater) - elbowed (while possessed) - thrown into table (while possessed) - chair smashed over him and knocked unconscious (while possessed) 11x17: Red Meat - punched - tasered unconscious - skid marks around left eye - broken ribs - overdoses on barbiturates (resuscitated) - handcuffed - strangled 11x18: Hell’s Angel - either internal pain or choked 11x19: The Chitters - punched 11x22: We Happy Few - thrown against a metal... cage, thing (I don’t know what it’s called) 11x23: Alpha and Omega - absorbs a couple hundred thousand souls that are later extracted by God

Season 12

12x1: Keep Calm and Carry On - arm pulled - foot pressed against throat - arm twisted - punched - knuckles punched with brass knuckles - thrown into car 12x2: Mamma Mia - handcuffed - hung by his wrists - punched with brass knuckles - cuts behind left ear - punched - (possibly healed by Cas seeing as he’s completely fine in the next shot) 12x3: The Foundry - throws himself against a door multiple times - elbowed in the face - choked - almost frozen - thrown against wall 12x5: The One You’ve Been Waiting For - tackled into a metal cabinet - punched - headbutted - thrown through a window 12x6: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox - thrown into a table - thrown through a glass door 12x7: Rock Never Dies - thrown off a stage 12x8: LOTUS - handcuffed around wrists and ankles 12x9: First Blood - DEAD (ressurected by Billie) - cut on left palm 12x10: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets - momentarily blinded - thrown into a wall x2 - right palm cut 12x11: Regarding Dean - blasted with a spell and knocked out - gradually loses his memory (restored by Rowena) 12x12: Stuck in the Middle (With You) - elbowed in the face - flung backwards - hit in gut with base of spear - headbutted - hit in the face with base of spear 12x16: Ladies Drink Free - shoved into a shelf 12x17: The British Invasion - flung back and hard impact on ground - thrown into big wheel 12x18: The Memory Remains - fell off railing and onto floor, knocked unconscious - cut behind right ear - wrists tied - head hit onto tiled wall 12x19: The Future - broken arm (healed by Cas) - elbowed in face 12x20: Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes - internal pain 12x21: There’s Something About Mary - kneed in the groin 12x22: Who We Are - stone dust in eyes - really bad gash in left knee - sedated (needle in left side of neck) - thrown into bookshelf - punched - injured leg kicked - elbowed in face - cut on right cheek - cut on left earlobe - injured leg hit with a piece of wood - hit with piece of wood - strangled with a piece of wood 12x23: All Along the Watchtower - previous injuries healed by Cas - hit in the face with gun - punched - kicked

Season 13

13x1: Lost and Found - thrown into a wall and knocked unconscious - cut on lower lip - cut knuckles from punching wood sign - handcuffed - punched - hit in the face with base of angel blade - punched in side - kicked into desk - headbutted 13x2: The Rising Sun - punched in the back and face - shoved into table - tackled through wood room divider - choked 13x4: The Big Empty - knocked unconscious x2 - handcuffed - hit in the face with gun - cut on left cheek 13x5: Advanced Thanatology - thrown into chain-link fence - kills himself (resurrected by Billie) 13x6: Tombstone - thrown back into trolley 13x7: War of the Worlds - punched - strangled 13x8: The Scorpion and the Frog - middle finger pricked 13x9: The Bad Place - headbutted 13x10: Wayward Sisters - hit in the face with base of spear and knocked unconscious - tied around wrists 13x12: Various & Sundry Villains - hexed with love spell - hexed to stay in one spot - thrown into wall - thrown into glass frame picture - strangled - hammer to the back of left knee 13x13: Devil’s Bargain - thrown through door and into wall - internal pain 13x14: Good Intentions - kicked by big strong man - choked 13x15: A Most Holy Man - handcuffed 13x17: The Thing - shoved into wall - strangled - knocked unconscious - tied down to a table by wrists and ankles 13x18: Bring ‘em Back Alive - shot in the right shoulder - poisoned by bullet (antidote applied by Ketch) 13x19: Funeralia - hit in neck / face not sure which one - punched - cut on left cheek - strangled - elbowed in face - punched in gut - thrown into table - headbutted - thrown around - kneed - cut on left side of forehead - right side as well - cut on nose - bruised and cut knuckles 13x20: Unfinished Business - whipped - super slapped by Loki - punched in gut - punched 13x23: Let the Good Times Roll - windows exploded near him - arm twisted and punched - strangled - cut on bottom lip - elbowed in the face - hard impact onto ground - punched in the gut and face (while Michael possessed him)

Season 14

14x3: The Scar - hit in the face with hilt and base of spear - tackled into wood column - headbutted - kicked in the face - punched - strangled 14x4: Mint Condition - headbutted - thrown into morgue drawers - strangled 14x5: Nightmare Logic - thrown across room - strangled 14x6: Optimism  - tackled into bookshelf 14x9: The Spear - elbowed in face - punched in gut - kicked - strangled 14x11: Damaged Goods - hard impact against floor 14x13: Lebanon - either jumped back and hit the wall or he was thrown back by the force of the fire - elbowed in the face x2 - kicked - headbutted - thrown onto counter and hits ground - super backhanded - punched - thrown into shelf with glass cups - strangled - cut on bottom lip 14x14: Ouroboros - backhanded - face slammed into wood pillar two times and knocked unconscious - cut on right temple - not able to breathe - temporarily blind - internal pain 14x20: Moriah - thrown into bookshelf - thrown through gravestone

Season 15

15x1: Back To The Future - thrown against dumpster 15x2: Raising Hell - thrown through shelf 15x5: Proverbs 17:3 - shoved against wall - strangled - thrown back - cut on left cheek - cut on right cheek - cut on left side of torso - cut on either right side of torso or front of right thigh 15x6: Golden Time - thrown across hallway and into wall - internal pain 15x7: Last Call - knocked unconscious - tied to a chair by wrists and ankles - blood being drained from left arm - punched in side - punched - bottle smashed over head - cut on left eyebrow - hit with pool stick 15x8: Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven - cut on left palm (healed by Cas) - punched - kneed - thrown - strangled 15x9: The Trap - knocked unconscious - super backhanded by God 15x10: The Heroes’ Journey - kneed in the groin - headbutted - strangled 15x12: Galaxy Brain - hit on wrists and face with stick - strangled 15x14: Last Holiday - thrown back - hard impact on ground - thrown back into wall 15x16: Drag Me Away (From You) - slammed onto ground and strangled 15x18: Despair - thrown into wall x3 - elbowed in the face - thrown back - pain in heart 15x19: Inherit the Earth - headbutted - thrown into wall - thrown back across beach - internal pain - punched - kicked - broken right arm - broken right leg - two cuts beside left eye - cut on nose - cut on bottom lip - cut above left eye - (all healed by Jack) 15x20: Carry On - slammed to ground - impaled on a piece of broken rebar - DEAD (permanently) 

[akimmito]

I’ll still be with you

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Master List

Chapter 2: The blue of the sky

Maybe, I can never see this sky again...

The raindrops fall in silent lament, drowning out the noise of the city that is prey to its tears. He just watches the clouds above him, ignoring the water and allowing himself to soak, the white uniform shirt sticks to him defining the muscles he hides underneath, the hair almost covering his eyes as it drips following the rhythm imposed by the sky.

"From here, I can't tell if you're crying or not."

Damian looks away from the dark sky and meets his best friend's vibrant blue, a brilliant color among all the gray that surrounds him. Since that fateful night everything has lost its meaning, didn't he want to make his father proud? Didn't he want to show that he could do great things? Didn't he want to find his own way?

"You're going to get sick, let's go to class."

"No, I'll stay here..."

"Shall I call Alfred or Dick? You don't look good. ”He keeps staring at the blue, sees it blur with the boy's conflicting emotions. Jon is still three years younger than him, it doesn't matter that he's already nearing puberty. His features are still childish, he still lights up as if he were his own sun without needing the star that revitalize him.

"I'll be fine, I just need time..."

Why do I feel this way?

Jon just watches him before nodding, doesn't say anything else, and walks away. He gives him little glances the further he walks back to the classroom, for several days he has been that way, sad. And as if the skies of Gotham felt it, the same amount of time it has been raining, shedding the tears that the teenager is not able to let go.

Damian looks back at the clouds, feeling his eyes sting. In an attempt to contain the sensation, he closes his eyes and just lets himself be felt, the drops soaking him even more, knowing that Alfred won't be happy when he sees him dripping so much water that he could give a whole neighborhood drink. But the rain stops falling on him and he opens his eyes again, a black umbrella protects him.

"I extended a permit to your teacher, come with me."

Damian feels the return of the rain abruptly on him and sees Drake walking towards the main entrance, unlike him, his brother is so neat that he doesn't seem to be walking in the rain. He looks at him for just one more moment before walking behind him.

Before, when he first arrived, he saw Drake as someone inferior, as a piece to be eliminated from the board in order to achieve his objectives, he earned his contempt and a cold shoulder that prevailed until now. Drake is the hardest to read, always hidden behind a sympathetic image, easy to ignore, easy to underestimate and forget that, of all the Wayne family members, he's the most dangerous. He runs Wayne Enterprise better than Bruce, everyone says, the efficiency of the company grew as soon as he got the full job a year ago. Drake is nineteen years old and it's already everything Bruce never asked for, but is proud to have.

If I were like him would my father be proud? Would he love me more?

They move silently through the damp streets of the city, Damian has his eyes fixed on the drops that crash against the glass of the window. There was no comment, Drake just handed him his jacket and now it's just as wet as the rest of him.

He don't want to keep thinking, he just want your mind to push all the thoughts that drown him and let he breathe easy. He feels tormented by not being able to fulfill his father's expectations, by the quiet years in the company of Richard and that were broken by the abrupt return of Bruce, by the time it left and will never return, by the lost happiness, for the torn illusions and for the dreams that are impossible to reach on a horizon that recedes with each step he takes.

"I'm Sorry."

Damian turns to Drake immediately, he's suddenly with the blue of the sky that is dimmed by sadness.

"Why?"

"It's my fault, I brought Bruce back."

He doesn't say anything, maybe that's enough, because his brother returns all his attention to the streets.

The sound of the rain envelops them and the cold is almost welcoming. Damian closes his eyes and leans against the glass, he doesn't care about the destination as long as it's as far as possible from the mansion, the school and everything that haunts him. Because he failed.

I just have to resist… it's the only thing I can do.

I'll not change my father's mind.

I'll not change overnight...

The lack of movement brings him back to reality, the noise of the drops hitting the car is not heard either. They are under cover.

"Where we are?"

"My home."

Sure, Drake lives in the city. Like Todd, he follows the patrol routes imposed by Batman, but no longer lives in the mansion. It's just Bruce, Alfred and him...

A sense of tranquility floods him, it's not the mansion. It's a place without shadows, but neither with a light that he doesn't deserve. Follow Drake up to the tall silver, barely noticing the details of the apartment, though it0s more of a complete building. He vaguely remembers that it's the old theater near the alley where his grandparents died, it was not important and still is not, it is almost surprising how detached he feels to the whole thing, when that event was the first and great event that he brought to life to Batman. He could say, without shame, that he feels closer to the death of Richard's parents, because he always spoke to him about them and made him part of those moments, he made them his family.

"Why are we here, Drake?"

He sees him wandering aimlessly until he stops in front of a door, gives him a glance before entering the new environment. Damian follows him, assuming the answer to his question is there.

A room so small that it could be a matchbox, at odds with the large space enjoyed in the previous room. Stacked books and scattered papers are the main decorations, but the most important are the two computers. Drake works in that little 4x4 space? The place is visibly uncomfortable.

"Drake."

"Bruce is being unfair to you." Damian frowns, his brother doesn't face him, he can only see him in profile while he turns on one of the two computers. The light illuminates his face, making his dull expression better to see. "I was also unfair to you six years ago and I remained so for a long time, I was stuck in your version of ten years. I'm sorry for that too, you deserved more. We're family."

It was never a secret that Drake held a grudge against him and to receive such a sincere apology, admitting that it wasn't just Damian who made mistakes, it's a new and unfamiliar feeling. It's not exactly unpleasant, although it does cause him some discomfort.

"I know it was an accident. I can't judge you for that, I've been close to passing that line… ”He falls silent and begins typing, opening files and an email. Damian begins to suspect that those computers are not for work, he looks for the switch and when the whole room is properly lit, he can see everything in greater detail.

Stacked books are magic, since when has Drake been interested in magic? It's no secret that he feels rejection towards it, so it's strange. The scattered papers, for some that he can read, are bank accounts and other documents related to a certain Gabriel Agreste. On the far wall are a couple of photographs, guarded as if they were a secret. Red Robin and a spotted heroine, Drake and a young girl with bright blue eyes and a kind smile. He can only assume that it's the same woman.

"What is all this?"

"The memories of my trip."

Damian doesn't make sense in his words, but doesn't push. He's tired of pushing.

Just hold on... this place is at least much better than the mansion.

"I'll go."

"Hm?"

"I'll leave Gotham and I'll not return." Only until then does he look at the screen, there is another photo of that same woman, but in the design of a French Marie Lenoir passport, he's sure that this is not her real Name. Next to it's also one of him, Timothée Rothchild. That just confirms it's not her real name. "There is something I must do and it will take me a lifetime."

"Why are you telling me?"

"Do you want to come?"

Damian just watches him open another document and this time, it's his photo with a blank passport.

I wanna go?

Maybe that's the time to go back and find my way...

---------

I don't know if I managed to express well the feeling of melancholy and of being... lost, yes. I hope I have made it.

What did you think?

[s1cparvism4gna]

I Like You A Lot

WARNINGS: cursing & angst

Pairings: Chloe Frazer x Nadine Ross, Sam Drake x OC

Tags: @desertvvitch, @courtenbae, @ammaliatrici

A/N: I will fix the read now later today

Chapter 18

Sam’s POV

I sighed as the wind pushed back my hair, air drying myself and my clothes a bit. Also it was hot as hell. So this nice breeze was doing me a great service. I wiped the shmutz off the tinted glass of a pair of aviators I happened to find in the back seat. “These are nice, heh?” I said, examining the quality and putting them on my face before turning to Sunny with a rather charming smile (if I do say so myself). She didn’t even move. She stayed with her chin resting in her hand as she leaned on the side of the car; Staring at the Indian wilderness as it passed by, wind pushing at her curls. I huffed and shook my head, noticing Chloe glancing at us from the rear view mirror. She frowned a bit and then returned her eyes to the rocky path before us.

“Look! Railroad tracks!” Nadine pointed out. Sunny’s head shot right up as she moved to the middle seat to lean forward for a better look. Right ahead in the distance was a bunch of abandoned cars on the tracks.

“We’ll stop here, then.” Chloe said, pulling on the hand brake and the car skidded in the mud for a second. All of us hopped out of the 4x4, our boots landing on the ground heavily. We all groaned. I was sure all of our bodies were aching— I, myself, was tired and sweaty. My hands were dirty and bruised (much like the rest of me) with a few cuts that had yet to be looked at. And I mean the way my knees felt after that simple jump… but it was better than being left to drown in a flooded chamber, I’ll tell you that. Luckily, my cigarettes had dried so immediately I pulled one and lit it. I needed one. With the way Sunny was acting and how this job was going, I needed a bit of nicotine in my system to help me along.

“Asav will definitely have lookouts throughout the area.” Nadine told us.

“Best be careful then, huh?” Sunny commented, adjusting her jeans.

“Right, right, right… And then we lose the tusk.” I added sarcastically. Sunny made a face. One I knew all too well. One she tended to make when she was done with whatever “pessimistic” outlook I tended to have on things.

“Jesus Christ, Sam—” Sunny groaned, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

“Ay— I’m just bein’ realistic here!” I retorted. Nadine chimed in as well, also rather fed up with me.

“You’re welcome to stay behind if you’d like.” She said. I made a sarcastic expression, mocking her.

Chloe calmly hushed us up, shaking her head, tired of the ongoing arguments and petty comebacks between us all.

“All right, all right… Less talking, more walking.” She said before hopping off the cliff. Sunny looked at me in disbelief and forced out a rather derisive laugh.

“Sounds good to me.” She said, following Chloe off the cliff. I groaned stressfully; letting smoke fill my lungs and exit my nostrils as I watched her walk away, dropping down to the next level. I picked up my pride and began to follow them as well.

“So all that time with Asav and you couldn’t get any intel on the buyers?” Nadine asked me.

“He’s uh…. he’s a cagey one, Asav is. Never talked shop in front of me really.” I answered, adjusting my newfound sunglasses in the sunlight.

“Gee, I wonder why not…” I heard Sunny comment sardonically ahead of us.

“Sunny, you’re being very puerile right now.” I said to her.

“Ooo, look at the ex con using his big boy words.” She replied with a rapid fire tongue. I rolled my eyes and took another drag. I decided I’d be the grown up here and ignore it… Sort of.

“Hey, he believed me long enough to think I was an expert in all this Hoy-sah-la crap.” I said rather pigheadedly.

“It’s Hoysa-lah. Not Hoy- sah-la.” Sunny corrected me.

“All right, Hermione.” I shrugged, trying my best not to let her get to me. But, boy, she was really working on my nerves.

“Thanks for keeping him busy for us.” Chloe said suddenly, taking me out of my thoughts and smiling at me as she looked at me with those stunning blue eyes. It was clear to see why I slept with her to begin with. There was a calm about her that tended to ease even the most chaotic of souls. I wanted to be calmed too. I wanted to be near that energy for just a moment. But in retrospect, it wasn’t worth it. Not to have Sunny this upset with me. I’d take it back if I could… I ran my fingers through my hair nervously and nodded, feigning a confidence that wasn’t really there to begin with.

“Yeah, I mean, I knew everything would work out…. I just wanted to buy you guys some time…. in case you were coming to get me.” I said, looking over the edge of the next cliff. She placed a gentle roughed up hand on my arm and squeezed it.

“Of course we were!” She grinned. Her energy brought a faint smile to my face and I forced a laugh, leaning towards her.

“Seriously, though. Thanks. I thought I was a goner.” I whispered to her.

“I wouldn’t let that happen. Sunny wouldn’t let that happen.” She said, nodding in her direction. I sighed. Even being upset with me, she once again saved my ass. “And your brother would never let me hear the end of it.” She added. I burst into laughter as I followed her across the cliff. Sunny and Nadine both looked back at me. Neither was very happy with me. They seemed to be talking amongst themselves. I could only imagine what about.

We walked along the green grass, looking out at the tracks that hovered above a misty and grassy wetland. It was rather nice if I was being honest. India had spectacular views and I was glad I got to see it all. That Sunny got to see it all. She deserved to see the world more than anybody. I finished my cigarette and tossed the filter over the edge as we came upon a waterfalled cave. Looking in, there was a mudslide inside. “Let’s find out where this goes.” Chloe said before jumping in and sliding away. I stepped aside and gestured to the cave.

“Ladies first.” I sighed. Nadine glared at me, bumping her muscular shoulder into me as she passed, knocking me off balance.

“Very mature.” I grumbled as she slid down after Chloe. Sunny just walked by and slid down without even really looking at me. I took a deep breath and slid down after her.

“I found the train tracks! Sort of….” I heard Chloe say as I approached the bottom. Sitting at the door of the hill were a bunch of broken slabs of wood. The cave probably was once part of a train route from what I gathered. As we came out onto the sunlit cliff, we could see more tracks in the distance.

“It’s weird to see everythin’ sorta go back to normal… After bein’ around Hoysala ruins all day. More modern structures are showin’ up now.” Sunny said as she looked around. I took the opportunity to attempt a conversation again.

“Well it’s either British or Portuguese. So not quite modern. Probably around 18— aaand you don’t care…” I said, biting my lip. Sunny grunted as she dropped to the ground to follow Chloe. I threw my head back in discouragement. Nadine shrugged as she looked at me and began to go behind them. Then she stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me, her bright brown eyes narrowed.

“You did a stupid thing, Drake. She’s hurt.” She told me. I blinked at her a couple times. It seemed like she was maybe trying to…..help me. I wrinkled my bushy brows as I continued to listen to her. “I don’t know why but… she loves you. And she won’t say it. Not to your face. But I know she does care a great deal about you. Just give her some time.” She said. I was surprised. When did she start to care about how Sunny was feeling? Regardless, I took the advice and pushed on. Just as I jumped down, I watched Sunny be the first to cross a wooden beam. Immediately, that familiar niggling feeling kicked in.

“Sunny, what the hell?! Is that thing even stable?!” I yelled. She just kept going until she got to the other side.

“It’s fine. Hurry up and cross it before it’s not. Your luck, it’ll break in half.” She retorted, climbing a wall and crawling into a tight space. As she disappeared, I couldn’t help but to be surprised. Heights weren’t her thing. Now all of a sudden it’s “Balls to the Wall”, “No Guts, No Glory”? Maybe the job had cured her of her acrophobia. Or maybe I pissed her off that much…

I followed the girls across the beam and through the crawl space (And no. It didn’t break). Above us, the sound of a chopper could be heard. The winds from its propellers pushing the treetops about, shaking loose leaves to the ground. As long as we stayed in the shadows and tree lines, I knew we’d be fine. “Asav thinks we’re all dead. Let’s keep it that way.” Nadine said, before heading up more rocks. It was interesting seeing her on the other side of enemy lines. And even better, without a gun to my head. Or a knife to my throat. Maybe if I asked the right questions, I could find a glimpse of a person inside that walking dead shell.

“So, Nadine—” I began but she growled and folded her strong arms across her chest.

“We are not on a first name basis.” She said. I chuckled.

“Okay, fine… I heard you worked for Asav, too?” I asked, carefully.

“What about it?” She grunted, narrowing her eyes and cocking a thin brow.

“I mean… How did you deal with the torture?” I asked.

“Wha… Did he torture you??”

“Oh yeah...” I groaned in all seriousness. He didn’t torture me physically but he might as well have. “Wouldn’t stop talkin’ about himself or his cause. Like, I get it, man. You don’t gotta sell me on it— I’m just lookin’ to make some scratch, y’know?” I chuckled lightly. Chloe shook her head and groaned.

“I can’t stand when people prattle on incessantly.” She said, climbing the next short cliff ahead.

“God, me either.” I agreed. Then Sunny walked by making some odd noise of disgust.

“Wow, you have so much in common.” She said, staley before climbing the cliff behind Chloe. I took a deep breath to calm myself. At this point, she was really just irking me. I’m not exactly what you would call a patient man. But I was enjoying the job, to be honest. And I damn sure wasn’t gonna let her ruin it.

We followed Chloe up the inside of a waterfall’s cave and out through thick vines. “If I had known, I would’ve packed my machete.” She said simply, herself and Nadine pushing the vines apart. The way Sunny’s face lit up when she said that, almost made me forget I was in hot water for a moment. Her big brown eyes, widening and practically shimmering as her freckled cheeks fattened up when she gave that dazzling smile. I could feel my ears burning up and I turned away to light myself a cigarette. Chloe gave her a doting smile as she passed between the vines.

“You have a machete?” She asked, softly.

“Tell you what. We make it out of this alive? I’ll mail it to you.” Chloe grunted as she struggled to keep the vines apart. She nodded to Nadine to go next but just to be an ass, I slid in at the last second.

“Thank you, good gentlewomen.” I grumbled as I weaved my slender limbs through to the other side. Sunny just crossed her arms and scoffed at me. I huffed, dropping my shoulders and gesturing to the vines. “They’re gonna need someone to hold open the other end!” I said, trying to cover myself. But truthfully, I wasn’t a total ass. “Come grab the other side.” I told her as I let my cigarette hang loosely between my lips. I grabbed a vine towards the middle and began to pull.

She stared at me a moment and groaned lightly as she came to grab the other vine. She grunted as she began to pull as well, her muscles taut and flexing as she did as much as she could. Just then Nadine had come out, then Chloe. Soon as they were fine, the path was pretty clear. Even for Sunny, who had already run and jumped across the rushing ravine and was starting to climb up the seeable handholds. I rushed across after her just to make sure she’d be okay. She made it up and over the cliff with no problems. I was impressed. It was like for the first time, I was seeing Treasure Hunter Sunny Spurrs. She didn’t need me. She was excellent all on her own. Which in a way made me feel stupid for thinking my selfish thoughts before. I climbed over the cliff and Sunny reached out a hand to help me up. Just then, I could hear rocks crumbling below us. I looked down to see Chloe falling into the ravine and sliding down off a cliff. All I could hear was her screaming. The both of us (and I’m sure Nadine) gasped, calling out her name.

“Shit!” I exclaimed. But Nadine raised her hand to us a moment and listened closely. I guess she could hear something we couldn’t.

“She’s okay!” She yelled to us. “I’m gonna follow her! You two stay close! We’ll meet up!” She said before jumping into the ravine and down the mudslide, after Chloe. I could hear Sunny groan and swear loud as hell like she couldn’t stand to be with me or something. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. We didn’t have time for this.

“Alright, ENOUGH!” I barked, tossing my cigarette off the edge, forcing out the excess smoke from my lungs through my nostrils in an ire manner. I stood up and turned to look at her with a screwed up expression. Sunny looked at me like I had lost my mind. And maybe I had… I wasn’t so sure. “You’re gonna have to talk to me sometime...” I told her. Begged her, really. She shook her head, chuckling at me. She placed her hands on her hips and bit her lip, standing her ground.

“You really wanna do this now?” Sunny asked me, raising her voice as she approached me slowly. I nodded. I was amped up and tired of the third degree.

“When the hell else are we gonna be able to do it, Sunny?! Yeah! Yeah, I wanna do this now. Right now!” I said in an authoritative voice, puffing my chest out a little. A snarl curled at her lips as she boldly looked me in the eyes.

“Alright then, let’s fuckin’ get to it!!” She shrilled, angrily. Last time she yelled at me like this, I had left for Libertalia without her and we both thought Nathan had gotten hurt. She was just as scary as I remembered. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked this fight so soon. But it had to happen. We needed it out of the way so we could work without distractions. Most of all…. I just wanted my girl back. For real this time. Sunny looked up at me, her eyes never leaving mine, nostrils flaring like an angry bull and her lips pursed; possibly biting her tongue from starting off with the hard hitting questions right away. But this is Sunny we’re talking about. She couldn’t help it. It just wasn’t in her nature to be subtle or tactical in any way. She had to attack it head on.

“Chloe? Really, bro? No offense to Chloe at all, but how desperate are you?!” She exclaimed. I had to laugh. Never in my life had I been before called….

“Desperate?! No, sweetheart. I ain’t desperate—” I chuckled, raising my voice in irritation, both of us beginning to lose our temper.

“So then what the hell, Sam?!” She shouted, furrowing her brow at me. That wasn’t fair. She’d been holding onto this anger about me and Chloe for so long. Yet she hadn’t brought a word about herself to the table.

“What about you?! Huh?!” I shouted, opening my arms to her, welcoming any excuses she could give me. I might be a hardass but I do have my feelings, too. “You don’t get to yell at me about sleepin’ with other people, Sunny!”

“And why the fuck not?!” She yelled. Since we were putting it all out there, I didn’t think it’d hurt if I begged the question.

“How long you been sleepin’ with him?” I asked in a tone so calm, it even scared myself. I stared her in her eyes, waiting for an answer I thought already knew. Her expression never faltered though.

“Who?” She asked, playing dumb. But she knew exactly who I was talking about.

“Erik.” I said, firmly. After I brought it up, my heart began to speed. To be honest, I was a little scared to know. But I could see she really thought I was oblivious to it all.

“Sam—” she began.

“Do I look stupid to you?! Eh, do I?!” I interrupted. “D-Did ya think I didn’t notice? That I didn’t see it? All those little looks he gave you? And still gives you! The way he hugs and kisses all over you? ‘My little Sunflower’?!” I bombarded her with information and evidence that didn’t take me long to pick up during my week of being in San Francisco. She and everyone around her was an open book. The look on Erik’s face when he looked at her like she was the last source of water on earth. Like he was absolutely infatuated— no. In love with this woman. I knew it well. It was the face I made at her quite often.

“Sam, I told you he’s my best frie—” she started but I didn’t want excuses.

“Just answer the goddamn question!” I snapped. She was talking around in circles and I didn’t have time for it. We didn’t have time for it.

“Since long before I met you.” She growled, staring me deep into my eyes. I stared her down and she looked right back. I wasn’t intimidating her for anything. Why I thought I could for a moment, I didn’t know. Nobody scared Sunny Spurrs. Something about knowing officially that she slept with Erik… It hurt more than I thought. And suddenly, I began to understand how she must’ve been feeling. On the other hand though, I couldn’t help but wonder… I winced before bringing up my next question. This one I hoped wasn’t true.

“So you’ve been leading him on? Have you been leading me on?” I asked. I couldn’t be lead on. I didn’t have time for it. I was a grown man with grown man shit to do, treasures to discover. Putting energy into something that wasn’t going anywhere was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Sam, you fucked several girls in several countries. And you fucked Chloe! You don’t get to be pissed over the one guy I fucked, out of your seven! Did it really take so many girls to realize I was waitin’ on you?!” She exploded, throwing her arms about. Her brows knitted together and her lips curled into a snarl. I was shocked…. but she was right. As I looked into her now watering eyes, I lit myself another cigarette and shook my head. She continued on. “All summer…. I did nothin’ but think about you and your sorry ass!” Tears began spilling past her cheeks as she spoke. Here we go: I’d done it.

“Yes. I did fuck Erik. I fucked him as soon as we got back from Libertalia. One time! It was routine. He was safe, he was my friend. And I love him so much but… I’m not in love with him. After the one time we slept together, I called it off. I couldn’t do it anymore…. I just kept thinkin’ about you. So what’s your excuse asshole?!” Her lips trembled and she crossed her arms over her chest protectively, running her hands down her arms to calm her raging nerves.

I really didn’t know what to say… I began wrestling with my feelings, tapping the ashes off of my cigarette. If I kept her around, that was bye bye freedom. If I didn’t tell her how I felt, I’d lose her forever… Once I weighed these options, I knew then what I had to do. “You have no idea… how hard I tried to forget you.” was what came out. For some reason, when I argued with Sunny, things tended to come out far different than intended. In all actuality, she was the intimidating one. She made a face at my sudden comment. And I knew how it sounded already, so I took the time to get ahead of it.

“I tried... so very hard to get over you. I didn’t want that attachment— I didn’t need it. Not when I’d just gotten my life back! Not when there was still so much to do... Selfish thinking: I thought you’d only slow me down.” She looked hurt. But I had a point to all of this. I just had to get it together. “As cheesy as it sounds…… ugh…. my heart had other plans for me. I always thought the guys in the movies were overdoin’ the whole ‘missing you’ thing but…. Every time I turned around, you were there. In a beer, in a song, in some crappy silver diner menu… some stupid bracelet...” I began, chuckling nervously as I gestured to the jewelry on her arm. She didn’t laugh but a twitch came about the corner of her full lips. She looked down at her wrist and touched the bracelet a moment as if she’d forgotten it had been there all along. I didn’t know if anything I was saying was getting through to her, but I continued anyway, just bearing my feelings to her.

“Some girl tried talking to me once… All I could see in her eyes were yours. It annoyed me to shit, so I fucked her. Hoping that just maybe… I’d stop thinkin’ about you. And it worked… Not for long though. It wasn’t until I called someone else your name that I—”

“Wow, Sam. Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you called some other girl my name—” she said, starting to storm off but I grabbed her by the arm and ran in front of her to keep her from going anywhere.

“Sunny, let me finish!” I snapped. I didn’t mean to be so aggressive about it. In all honesty, it was the nerves. I couldn’t fuck this part up. I couldn’t afford to. I couldn’t afford to lose her on behalf of my stupidity. This was the important part and I needed to say it. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Her expression was as still as stone but she stayed quiet and let me continue as I struggled to make sense of things.

“Chloe was like a wake up call for me. And I realized…. when it didn’t feel right… that I only wanted you. I didn’t care how— I just wanted you. And then back there, I thought you were gone…. I’d never been so worried to lose someone…. Y’know, it’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone and I was scared.” I said.

“Scared of what?” She asked.

“To feel…” I answered rather quickly. I hated to do it but if there was ever a time that I needed to be vulnerable, it was now. “I was scared to care… I didn’t wanna face the inevitable that I would hurt you somehow… Or that I wouldn’t be able to care for you like you’d want… I might’ve gotten what you wanted a little confused. But I think I get it now...” Her expression softened a little and I approached her, linking my large pinky with her small first finger, gently swinging out hands between us. I chewed on my lip and looked off a moment before staring into her hypnotizing brown eyes. It was time that I owned up to my mistakes…

“I shouldn’t have expected you to wait for me… I guess I just thought that maybe when I was done with my foolishness that you’d still be there. Which was stupid of me— gorgeous as you are.” I babbled. I stared at her beautiful face and began to let the apologies pour. I’d lay it as thick as I need to. I just wanted my girl back. “I screwed up, Sun. I know that. And I know… I haven’t exactly been the best character in your life… But every second I spend with you means more to me than you even know and I can’t lose th—” Before I could even finish, Sunny placed her hands on either side of my face and brought me down to kiss her warm lips. I could feel a faint smile on her as she kissed me. I seemed to melt into her as my hands circled her waist, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. I rested my forehead against hers, parting our lips to give us a moment to breath.

“I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Whether I liked it or not. Although, you kinda didn’t give me a choice so...” I laughed and a small giggle sprung from her lips. One that sounded like music to my ears. It made me smile. A bout of seriousness came around as I spoke. “I need you, Sunny. And I was wrong. You don’t slow me down or hold me back. You’re in this with me. And you can hold your own. I won’t doubt you again, sweetheart.” I told her. I could see her eyes dart over every feature of my face as her thumbs stroked at my cheekbones.

“I forgive you…. and I’m sorry—”

“No, no, baby— don’t be sorry. I understand why… I really do.” I cooed, caressing her cheek and staring into her eyes. “Hey… let’s table this for later, eh? Catch up with the girls, go make some money? Maybe stop an arms deal or somethin’?” I asked, running my hands down her arms. She gave the airiest giggle. Boy, it was much better to be on her good side than bad. The whole silent treatment/ cold shoulder shit? Brutal.

“Sounds like a plan.” She said as I threw an arm around her. Suddenly, she shoved me and leaned back away.

“What?” I asked in confusion. She tuned up her face and covered her nose with her hand.

“Ross was right. You smell like ass.” She croaked our. I burst into laughter.

“Oh fuck off, loser!” I grinned, flipping her off. She just interlocked her fingers with mine and kissed my cheek.

“Let’s go do work.” She said with a smirk. And with that, we were off to finish the job.

Read More on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555698

[voiceoffenrisulfr]

Paws for Applause - Chapter One 'Anatolian'

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> James "Bucky" Barnes x Original Nonbinary Character (Soldierbug)

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 -> After his time in Wakanda, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is struggling to adapt back to life in the wider world, hiding out in the Pacific Northwest as he fights to regain some control over his life. Or: Bucky gets a dog, and meets a cute salesperson.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 -> 4546

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> (T) Panic attack, trauma references, medical prejudice and medication disdain, general PTSD things, anxiety, vulnerability, implied alcohol abuse.

𝐀/𝐍 -> PSA: Do not get a dog after such a short contemplation period please! This is a work of fiction, and we didn't want to write several months of pro-con weighing. Make informed choices, y'all.

Check it out below, or on AO3 here! Dividers by us!

Chapter Two->

Prompts used;

- 'Anxiety' - Build a Bucky Bingo (July) @buckybarnesevents; - ‘Goats’ – @buckybarnesbingo (B049); - ‘Vibranium’ – Bucky Barnes Bingo (B005); - ‘Leash’ and ‘New to the City AU’ – Bug’s First Bingo; - "I Need Help." – @fandom-free-bingo, Flight Edition;

- 'Puppy or Play Mate' - @julybreakbingo (4x4); - 'Earbuds in Public or Strangers in a Checkout Line' - July Break Bingo (5x5) - 'Emotional' - July Break Bingo (6x6); - ‘Amputee or Paralysed’– July Break Bingo (7x7); - 'Drowning or Drowning Your Sorrows' - July Break Bingo (Summer);

- 'Double Standards' - @multifandom-flash Discrimination; - ‘Adopt a Pet’ – Multifandom-Flash New Year Gen; - ‘Pet Store AU’ – Multifandom-Flash Round 2 (Card 1027); - 'Difficulty Breathing' - Pick Your Poison @hurtcomfort-bingo (C025).

I sighed as I dropped to the bed, forearms resting on my knees as I took in the dimly lit room, accompanied by a melancholy orchestra of squeaking springs.

Steve had found me exactly what I had requested - small, discreet, and unlikely to attract any unwanted attention. The studio certainly fulfilled all criteria, the small windows along one wall looking only into an alley woven with shadows, offering the privacy I craved.

The building seemed largely abandoned, save a few similarly reclusive tenants; most of the bells at the front door were unlabelled, and those that were claimed were faded and yellowing, the curled edges of the tape thick with dust. The entire place seemed stagnant, lost in time amongst the sleek modernity of a continuously evolving city. But I felt at home amongst the 50s sconces and age-worn carpets – far more comfortable than I had in the high-tech metropolis that made up most of Wakanda.

I looked down at the black and gold metal that made up my left arm, fingers reflecting in the weak light as they flexed slowly. The advanced prosthetic was the only reminder of my time in the African nation – that, and the seemingly enduring clarity in my mind.

It had taken a month after Ayo’s test for me to even consider that I may no longer be controlled, ordered to acts of evil by the darkest of minds – and to allow Steve to visit me in my new life as a goatherd.

I wondered for the hundredth time, looking around the dim, sparse room, if I had made a huge mistake.

The query persisted throughout the evening, following me doggedly as I unpacked my meagre possessions from a tatty holdall. My belongings were limited to a few sets of clothes, some basic toiletries – and a handgun that had me lay on my back in the dust beneath the bed, tongue between my teeth as I fitted the holster to the wire frame.

Maybe I was paranoid – but I’d rather be paranoid than dead.

One of my biggest concerns about being back in the ‘wider world’, as Steve called it, was just how wide – and, more importantly, unprotected – it really was. The list of people who would like my head on a pike was far from short, with Steve’s own teammate being one of them.

Things had been complicated since I’d last seen the team; while the divided factions had eventually come back together, there was still tension at times, particularly when the Accords came up. The majority were working to get through it, making their peace with the eventual conclusion that the conditions laid out in the Accords would work in a perfect world – but this world wasn’t perfect. It was messy, and chaotic, and unpredictable. While the Avengers could – and would – make mistakes, they wouldn’t make choices based on politics or power. Their only interest would always be minimising harm.

But Tony was the outlier.

While the others worked to overcome their animosity, seeing the clear need for peace, Tony stayed angry – at both sides of the schism, but particularly with Steve. He’d never forgiven my friend for defending me, and since learning that Steve knew of my whereabouts, his fury had only grown.

In Wakanda, I found comfort in the knowledge that the country’s location was a well-guarded secret, with a barrier surrounding the nation obscuring and protecting it from anyone who may stumble across it by chance. For all his intelligence, even Tony hadn’t known the real nature of Wakanda before they were ready. If there was anywhere in the world I couldn’t be found – by both Tony and others alike – it was Wakanda.

I at beans cold from the tin, leaning against the bedframe, settled with my arms on my knees in my nest on the ground. One of the first things I’d done had been to take Steve’s carefully made sheets from the bed and rearrange them on the floor, an irrational pang of guilt pulling at my gut.

Steve had worked hard to set it all up for me – especially without Tony knowing – and had seemingly thought of everything, from basic furnishings to a few home comforts. But I didn’t have the energy or motivation to cook, despite the food in the fridge, and I hadn’t slept in a bed in longer than I cared to remember; the knowledge that it was a comfort I didn’t deserve was far too ingrained in my mind to allow such behaviour.

It was after I’d set the empty tin on the floor, letting the shifting colours of a kid’s movie lull me, that I dared to acknowledge the other reason that I’d felt safer in Wakanda.

It wasn’t just that I was protected from the outside world in the secluded African nation; perhaps more importantly, the outside world was protected from me. Even after my apparent deprogramming, I fought vehemently with Steve about leaving Wakanda, citing my concerns about being a target – and potentially putting the rest of the team at risk, too. When he came back to me, having secured an apartment and a new identity for me, I’d reluctantly admitted that I feared what I may do without the advanced technology of Wakanda to defend innocent people.

But Steve had simply parroted my activation code, despite my shaking and pleading, and beamed broadly when I remained in control of my facilities.

How can I explain that I’m afraid of myself?

How can we explain that we are many?

That we don’t know what we’re capable of, even without someone else controlling us?

Where do we even begin?

I sighed, grimacing as I settled deeper into my nest. The voices in my head had always been there, in one way or another, but ever since I’d had my deactivation confirmed, they’d become louder and more conversational, their personalities shining through as they chimed in.

“I’m losing my mind,” I murmured to myself, eyes flicking to the screen as I laid my head on a folded-up sweatshirt.

It’s possible, agreed the first voice readily – ever the stoic voice of reason of the two.

But at least you’re not doing it alone, soothed the second, his soft voice and endless optimism wreathing around me comfortably.

“That’s true,” I replied, smiling tenderly.

… Hey, Buck?

“Yeah?”

Thanks for the movie.

My smile spread a little wider, and I pulled the blankets closer with a contented sigh.

“You’re welcome.”

I woke to my cell buzzing insistently, the harsh summer sun streaming through a chink in the curtains directly onto the black metal of my left arm. Drawing it back quickly, I winced as my other hand brushed over the scorching vibranium tentatively.

It was easier when it had no feeling…

True, but it was awful smart of Shuri to be able to do it!

I hummed in agreement as I flexed my uncomfortably hot fingers, grimacing, and reached for my cell, the vibration still sending it shifting across the floor slowly.

“Yeah?”

“Bucky, I’ve been trying to reach you for almost an hour!”

My eyebrow arched of its own volition, drawing back to glance uncertainly at my screen.

Eight missed calls.

And twelve messages…

“What is it? What’s happened?” I snapped, slamming the phone quickly back to my ear as I darted about my space, stuffing only the barest of essentials into my holdall.

Nothing that will weigh us down.

Or draw attention.

“Bucky – calm down,”  Steve interjected, the panic evident in his voice. “I-I’m sorry – everything is fine. I just wanted to remind you about your appointment, and I worried when I couldn’t get through…”

I couldn’t help but wince at his palpable guilt, settling back on the ground with a heavy sigh. “It’s okay. Thanks, Stevie.”

“It’s important you go, Buck.”

“Yeah, I know,” I muttered. We’d already argued – more than once – about me needing to see a doctor. I said I was fine; Steve disagreed, talking about anxiety and depression and trauma, telling me about the therapies he’d done since he came out of the ice. He talked about the men who used to come back different – angry, or unable to get out of bed, or living life at the bottom of a bottle - and how it had a name now. He told me I didn’t have to live with those things.

How was I supposed to tell him that we deserve it?

It’s a poor repentance for our crimes, but it is the only one we have.

It would break his heart, to know the things we’ve done…

So in the end, I’d let him win, and he’d made the appointment, gushing about what my life could look like if I put in the effort. I figured I’d go to this first appointment, just to get it done and get Steve off my back; I didn’t need – or deserve – anyone’s help. I had my apartment and my solitude, and that was enough. With my fake documents, I could get a job and pay my own way in the world; I wouldn’t be reliant on Steve anymore.

I wouldn’t be putting him in danger.

But first…

“I’m heading out in a few, Stevie. I’ll let you know how it goes, okay?” My voice had softened at the distress in his own, and he let out a quiet, relieved exhale.

“Thanks, Buck. I just… I really think that this will help, you know?”

I nodded to myself, looking around my sparse apartment, fingers curling in my blankets unconsciously.

If it were anyone else… We’d think they deserved help, the softer voice pointed out gently, and I let my eyes close with my own sigh of resignation.

“Yeah. I hope so.”

This is why I hate people.

I fought the urge to snort as the doctor took our blood, gawping openly at our left arm, the black and gold shimmering under the florescent lights each time I moved.

He’d deemed us in peak physical condition, and allowed me to shrug my shirt back on, sitting on the opposite side of his desk as I rolled my sleeve down – clearly, the limb was proving too distracting from him.

“So, Mr. Smith,” he started, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes at predictable alias Steve had chosen for me, “now that your first appointment baselines are out of the way, what can I help you with? You don’t strike me as someone who particularly struggles with his health,” he added, offering me a broad – and somewhat unnerving – smile.

“My friend thinks I need help,” I offered uncertainly. The aging, grizzled physician simply watched me curiously, head cocked to one side.

“You seem to have a good life,” he noted, eyes flicking once more to my arm. “That’s a high-quality piece of kit if ever I saw one. You’re in great physical health. I’d say you’re pretty lucky. What could you possibly need help with?”

I blinked in surprise, dumbfounded into silence.

Fucking hell.

I was born over a hundred years ago, and even I know better than that.

That was pretty ignorant…

Clearing my throat, I raised a finger to tap at my vibranium shoulder pointedly. “D’you wanna know how I got this?” I offered quietly. When he simply nodded, I rolled my jaw, leaning forward. “I was in the war. A sergeant. There was a… Train accident. Most of my arm was ripped from my body, and the part that wasn’t was later cut away – without anaesthetic,” I added, my gaze locked on his. “I’m in constant pain. I was held captive for a long time, and forced to do horrible, awful things. I barely sleep for nightmares. Every time I leave the house I’m on high alert, waiting for something bad to happen. I never want to get out of bed.”

He watched me for a second longer, his jaw hanging half an inch before snapping shut with the distinct click of ceramic on bone. “I-I- I had no idea. I’m sorry- Sergeant Smith, Sir. My mistake. Of course.”

It shouldn’t take pointing out our service to make this man flounder and treat us with respect.

No, but… I’m quite glad that Steve made us those papers saying we fought in Afghanistan.

It’s not really stolen valour, is it? I mean, we are veterans, and it’s not like we can be honest about which war we fought in – not without drawing a lot of attention and probably putting ourselves in danger… We didn’t even specify, it’s only on the paperwork…

Seems little Stevie knew what he was doing.

“The local VA has excellent facilities for-”

I interrupted him with a quick shake of my head, hand raising. “I’d rather go mainstream, if that’s okay.”

Knowing my luck, I’d end up bumping into someone who really was in the unit I’m supposed to have been stationed with…

He nodded again, head ducking graciously. “Of course, Sergeant.” Hesitating, his eyes flicked away, a minute grimace pulling at his lips. “But… The VA would see you in a matter of weeks. The wait for our own referrals is currently up to a year.”

The bottom dropped out of my stomach, and I felt nauseous. While I’d little intention of working with the resources offered to me, the idea that the support was there, should I want it, was more comforting than I’d realised; now, however, my breathing came a little too hard, vision darkening around the edges, my palm tingling. “And in the meantime?” I pressed, the steadily increasing panic making the blood in my ears roar, my own voice sounding faded and far away.

The doctor simply gazed at me sadly, offering me a weak shrug. “It’s an underfunded and undersupported system. That’s why I would recommend contacting the VA, and-”

“I’m not going to do that,” I snapped, eyes narrowing in annoyance before I let out a sigh, pushing away my irritation stubbornly. “Look, being around other veterans – it’s not good for me. I don’t want to be treated like a soldier; I just want to be a regular guy.” The excuse was thought up on the fly, but he nodded sympathetically, turning to his computer and tapping at the keys slowly.

“Our trauma team is currently fulfilling referrals from eight months ago. That’s the most accurate time frame I can give you, I’m afraid; it entirely depends on how many they’ve had in the meantime. It could be less, or it could be more.” He looked to me again, his smile strained. “I think that’s the best we can offer, if you’re reluctant to-”

“What about pills?”

I blinked in surprise, more startled by the words that left my lips than he was. It happened, from time to time – I spoke without intending to, with no plan or consideration, to the extent that the words often didn’t even feel like mine.

He cleared his throat, humming under his breath, considering me for a moment. “Well, I mean… I suppose I could offer you something to ease your anxiety, though I don’t particularly like prescribing medication…”

I couldn’t help myself – I arched an eyebrow, eyeing him curiously. “… Interesting approach…”

He shrugged minutely, turning back to his screen and tapping a few keys passively. “The younger generation are being mollycoddled. We didn’t have all this ‘anxiety’ and ‘depression’ when I was a boy. It existed, of course – but it was a serious condition, not these children who feel a little blue sometimes.”

My mouth moved wordlessly, utterly dumbfounded, annoyance boiling under my skin.

We can’t. The medication…

Fuck that. Screw this guy. Break the callous bastard’s goddamn nose.

I paused for a moment, then nodded once, closing my mouth with a soft click and a terse smile, humming non-committedly. “So… The medication?” I prompted, earning a quiet sigh – which I ignored – as he offered me the script.

“This should only be an interim stop gap,” he warned, finger extending to point at me when his hand was free. “Just until your referral has been actioned, okay? And I really think you should reconsider getting in touch with the VA. The sooner you’re off the pills, the better, in my opinion.”  

I don’t give a fuck about your opinion.

I simply nodded once more as I pushed myself to my feet, reaching down to grab my bag as he extended a hand to me, pretending I hadn’t seen the motion.

What the hell are you doing? The fiercer of the two voices had a snarl in their voice as they snapped at me, but I continued to exit the room. He can’t get away with that!

He won’t, I soothed, following the short corridor absently. He won’t, I promise.

He continued to object quietly – but when my steps turned away from the exit, he immediately fell quiet, watching curiously as I approached the reception desk.

“Hi! Can I help you?” The man behind the counter offered me a reassuring smile, and I felt my muscles unclench infinitesimally as I offered a tentative grin back.

“Hey – I, uh… I’d like to register a formal complaint, and request a change in GP.”

I spun the card thoughtfully between my fingers, staring up at the store sign uncertainly.

‘Paws for Applause’.

Oh God. Puns. Why puns…

It’s cute!

It is quite charming, I admitted with a chuckle, humming as I considered my next step.

The receptionist had been endlessly helpful; he led me away from the main room, carefully noting every detail of my complaint with a sympathetic grimace, admitting there’d been some issues with that GP in particular as of late. He’d arranged another appointment with a different doctor he was sure I’d get on far better with – a young woman with significantly more progressive views. When I’d lamented the wait time, he’d pursed his lips in thought, offering me the card I now held.

“The thing that made the biggest difference to my husband – he’s a veteran, too… It wasn’t the VA, or therapy, or medication. We actually got a dog. She gets him out of the house and out of his own head, and helps him feel safer when he’s in public.”

That was how I’d found myself here, chewing on my lip nervously.

I’ve never looked after anything alive before…

We’re going to be terrible at this. Our whole life has been about killing.

No. We’re going to be awesome at this. We can ask for help if we need it. We can do this!

I inhaled deeply, metal fingers forming an anxious concealed fist in the pocket of my sweatshirt as the other hand tugged my headphones out – the sound of songs from my own era was one of the few things that kept me from being entirely overwhelmed when I went out in public.

There was no bell as I opened the door – instead, I was met with a distant but multi-layered series of tweets and chirps, punctuated by one intimidating scream as something loud and green swooped over my head.

I nearly turned right back around and left again.

“Denzel! Shit, sorry about him; he can be a right arsehole sometimes. Dezzie, come here, you gremlin!”

I turned toward the voice, startled – and charmed, despite myself, by the presence of an English accent in the Pacific Northwest – as a thirty-something person appeared from behind a box on the counter, the green parrot-looking thing flapping down to settle on their shoulder with another abominable shriek, earning a wince from his owner. “Jesus, Denzel – put a sock in it, would you? How can I help, other than providing free earplugs?” they added, looking to me once more.

“I- I, uh…” My voice failed me as I looked around, panic rising as I took in the endless pet supplies in infinite materials, breath hitching unsteadily.

Their head cocked minutely, and they glanced at the bird once more. “Denzel, go home,” they murmured. To my distant surprise, he obliged immediately, flapping off through a narrow hole in the door behind them, which they slid shut in his wake, cutting off the quieter series of tweets and whistles before rounding the counter, palms raised imploringly. “Hey. You’re okay. It’s a lot, huh? But you don’t have to do that right now. Just look at me, okay?”

My eyes found theirs desperately, focusing on the chocolate depths, flecked with mahogany and sand. Their hand reached for mine, and I baulked instinctively, jerking ack, wincing guiltily at the brief look of hurt that flickered across their face. “Just take a few deep breaths, okay? You’re safe here. I promise.” The anxious, rejected expression had passed already, leaving only a soft worry, and I forced myself to breathe more evenly – even if it did hitch a little in the process.

But they simply stood with their eyes on mine, smiling gently, murmuring encouragement and reassurances as I fought to control my spasming lungs.

By the time I was calm, red-faced and sniffing intermittently, they were humming quietly – a song I didn’t know, but the gentle, lilting melody smoothed the raged edges of my mind. “Thanks,” I murmured, my cheeks flaming, and I looked away in shame.

God, we’re pathetic.

Fucking disaster.

We shouldn’t have come here…

“Sorry,” I muttered, rubbing my hand roughly over my face. “W- I shouldn’t have come here. It was a stupid idea.”

They frowned, head cocked slightly, hand extending as I took a stumbling step backwards. “Hey- it’s okay! You’re doing really well. Look, I’ll flip the sign and we can take it easy – we’ll take a seat and just talk, okay?”

I swallowed again, nauseated by the pounding of my heart in my chest, coupled with the undeniable urge to bolt. But eventually, I  offered them an uncertain nod, watching nervously as they stepped away to flip he sign in the window and turn the catch with an apologetic grimace. “People don’t always bother to check the sign,” they offered with a guilty shrug, and I nodded stiffly, clammy hand rubbing against my thigh in a display of anxiety. They turned over a couple of crates and settled on one, a foot tucked beneath them, and indicated to the other. “Join me?”

I settled nervously, fidgeting and shifting as they watched me with a gentle gaze. “I’m- this isn’t necessary, really. I’m okay.”

They smiled weakly, shrugging a shoulder and gesturing around themselves. “Hey- it’s a hectic job. Maybe I just wanted ten minutes break, hm? I mean, you’ve met Denzel, right?” I chuckled quietly, and they grinned. “There you go! It’s not so bad, huh? So – how about we try this again?”

I watched them for a moment, unable to shake the last of my suspicion and anxiety, but eventually let out a soft sigh. “I… My name is B- … James. I… There was a guy at the doctor’s office, I guess, and he…”

They listened politely the entire time I spoke, grimacing sympathetically as I briefly mentioned the intensity of my nightmares. I found myself divulging details I’d never shared with anyone before – the way being in public made my skin crawl and heart pound, the way I was movement and faces in shadows, and the way I lay awake at night, eyes open and ears pricked for every minute sound.

Through it all, they never looked away – not even when the metal of my arm flashed between glove and sleeve, simply keeping their eyes on mine, gentle and warm.

“You can call me Mars,” they began, leaning forward to rest their forearms on their knees. “And it sounds like you’ve had a really tough time of it, huh?” I shrugged and nodded, and they gestured around the space once more. “I moved here from the UK a few years ago. I did all the therapy and stuff, but…” They offered me a shrug of their own, eyes flicking away. “Sometimes there needs to be some distance, y’know?” Humming, I nodded sympathetically, and they looked back to me with a soft smile. “But yeah – I get it, and I’d be honoured to help. I know a shelter about ten minutes outside of town – how about you meet me here tomorrow morning, and we can head over, see what’s what?”

I hesitated only briefly, their dark eyes locked on mine drawing me in despite myself, and I nodded.

“I’ll be here.”

Mars sat with me for over an hour, discussing training methods, common problems, and where to find help, should I need it.

I slowly found myself relaxing in the unusual company – they were certainly an odd one, from their flickering gaze unable to hold mine unless they put in conscious effort, to the unique way they settled with one leg curled beneath them with a youthful flexibility.

They were… Quirky.

Genuine.

Even as I left the store, heading back out into the mid-afternoon crowds, I couldn’t help but feel elated and optimistic, weighed down with a bag full of goods to welcome my new housemate. The occasional glance rolled off me, my mind occupied with thinking through the training exercises Mars had given me, committing them to memory.

As soon as I got home, I emptied out the contents of my heaving bad on the floor, settling on my nest to sort through my supplied. Absently, I wondered if they’d been taking advantage of my naïveté, pushing products on me, as I weighed three different leashes thoughtfully.

 But they didn’t push anything; they just explained the different options.

Yeah. We’re the ones who decided to buy, uh… Well, everything. And they did give us a pretty generous discount.

I hummed in agreement as I set up the bowl stand – to stop an overeager pup from catapulting them across the floor - settling the matching bowls inside with a soft smile. “Yeah – they were pretty open about how useful this stuff was really likely to be,” I agreed. They’d steered me away from a lot of the things with premium price tags, pointing out that the cheaper versions were often exactly the same.

I set up the bed next to mine, then stopped, gazing at my nest thoughtfully. It had been drilled into me that the dog deserved their own space, and I’d opted against the crate because of my limited space – perhaps the pup would appreciate having the floor to himself…

I fell asleep curled around a bottle of whiskey – my first, rather than third. I never slept well, and the soft cradling of the bed around me felt foreign and unearned, but I managed to force myself between the sheets, even as my muscles clenched in anticipation of a  pain that wouldn’t come. I knew I was safe here, but that didn’t stop me from reliving the fear of punishment, every inch of my body aching at the memory of the abuse.

But sleep I did, clinging needily to the hope of a better future moving forward. Distantly, I marvelled at the knowledge that I’d been certain this morning that the appointment was purely practical – a way to get Steve off my back, with no real consequences. And yet here I was, planning to start the next stage of my life with significant long-term effects.

Maybe everything really would be okay.

[crybabytoy59]

The Meeting (reworking)

The meeting.

I was so aroused that day my first weekend to myself in a long time my business consuming most but all of my time. Often i wished i was not such a product of my own success. looking through all the ad’s I had found on Craig’s list that evening a warm sunny day i had left work at lunchtime giving my staff the afternoon off as i did each Friday of a “Play Weekend”.

Now sat on my favourite wee leather kneeling stool in my pink pvc maids dress, a pink cartoon fairy disposable Nappy, with two large 4000ml pads both i had cut to let my pee pass through to the next this made for a very swollen Nappy plus i could wet multiple times, over them my pink pvc popper nappy cover i loved the softness of them plus i found the smell of the soft pink rubber Very overpowering. Next my huge frilly silk pants I had custom-made they had a Huge frilly heart at the rear inside the huge frilly white layered heart was embroidered the word “crybaby” ! Around the pants layers of silk and lace stood out ward around six inches! With the nappy under them my butt looked huge, the hem of the pink maids uniform only just hid the bulky Sissy Pants my petticoat pushing the huge hemlines upwards to almost 90deg such was the fullness of the handmade garments custom-made for me by an ebay seller i had become friends with she had made all of my wardrobe.

I decided to place an ad of my own on craigslist working on a small window of who I was as a sissy Abdl/bondage play Thing....posting it my heart was racing...

I went back to my usual internet bank of clips and pictures, feeling more and more aroused i put the first Baby bottle to my lips the huge teat filling my mouth as the warm milk slid over my tongue i swallowed compressing the teat as i did made it refill starting an almost siphoning effect i gulped it down.

I was going to have the weekend to myself to play my self bondage games, taking myself further each time I played....

But this was interrupted by a ping from Craig’s list..I had a reply to my ad?...it was from a couple they had read my ad and felt very sad for me that I felt I would never get to be who lived inside of me, they also said they had followed the link to my tumblr and that my stories were very good....We need to talk “Baby”..was all they put ..a link appearing to a WhatsApp page...this I followed I typed in a simple “Hi I found your reply to my ad ...would you like to talk?” I waited but nothing came back, so I went to close it and noticed someone was typing...

A reply came ! “Clever Baby...that was your first “Little” step...Now as it’s Friday night are you playing by yourself? ( my ad told of my self play at weekends to

Fuel my Kink) I typed in “Yes” no my keyboard, almost instantly a reply came ...how long do you play Baby?  I replied that I was off this weekend so I am going to play All weekend 😜....a reply came...Well you have read our ad would you like to meet for a drink and a chat?....”Eh yes please but it’s getting late?” ..Don’t fret we stay Very close to you....I was confused by this as their ad said a different area..so I typed a message back...

I think we stay in different areas? ...it’s ok Baby our ad is old we have moved..Ok you have 30mins ! are you dressed? If so put on something to cover up to go outside, if Not go and get dressed Now ! I typed back that i was already dressed for the evening.

Then we will see you in 30mins at  M* ,*******y,s in the car park we will be parked under the sign...park up then come to our Car under the sign 29mins “Baby”...

That was it even though I sent an Ok ..nothing more came back, so I rushed to get one of my boiler suit’s on as the bulk was so large I could fit nothing else on!...driving there I felt very nervous also my adrenaline was pumping so hard I felt I needed the toilet but time was ticking away... so I took Breath’s through the Need to go and they passed, sitting in the car with all my padding felt strange but nice I had never driven dressed up, in fact i had never went out in public with anything more than a simple Tena nappy in plain white so if I was discovered it could be explained away with a medical excuses, but this?...this was different i was in full sissy AB attire a huge padded rear with a swollen straining “Clittie” !!

As I drove into the car park there was a 4x4 under the sign! But only one person in it?... I parked up but was hesitant due to the single occupant, so thought to myself I would simply go over and ask for directions that way if I was wrong no harm..

As I got to the car the door opened to my surprise a man got out opening the back door...as I walked up he spoke “In the back Baby”. I did as I was Told,there was a girl in the back she spoke to me....”In Baby Kneel on the floor face me...Clever Baby..Open Wide!”

The car had one of the back seats removed so there was a space on the floor with a changing mat in its place,this mat had Winnie the Pooh bear characters on it ! I felt something being put around my ankles & I panicked slightly....Blurting out ...”P,p,please are we not going for a chat?” Suddenly my mouth was pulled open from behind as the girl pushed in a rubber ball gag with a face harnessing, this was pulled Very tightly! My arms were forced behind me and locked In cuffs! I was spun around and a hood pulled over my face, next I was in the seat with a seatbelt put over me.m The door shut then the second door shut as the car started up.....she spoke to me.... “Clever Baby Sit Still just a short drive and we will be home....Then Cutie The Fun Will Begin....Baby we Are going to make Your stories seem like a soft fairytale.....tell me Cuteness are you a bit afraid at the moment ? (I nodded) Clever Baby...You Have Good reason to be Afraid....what’s this all under here Eh? you can Hardly Sit !...don’t fret Baby... we are going to make sitting Very uncomfortable for You!” They both laughed but not a funny laugh ...a Deeply wicked laughter.....That’s us here Baby let’s get you inside so we can have a better Look at You Babyslave!!”....I was taken into their home...the hood was Not removed... they put a spreader bar on my ankles then he spoke “Now Baby I want you to wet and mess yourself in a moment so kneel for us...Eh Now Babyslave!”..... (if any of you have knelt with a spreader bar on its quite difficult) ..I collapsed to My Knees, The hood was bellowing in and out over my face as I gasped, she spoke to me “Ok let me explain what is happening as You potty for us....(the hood was being unfastened as she spoke to me) My Name is Mistress M....that is Master D when we allow You to talk you will talk with a lisp like the Little You Are....a Three year old girlie Got that ?” I nodded as the hood came off...I was blinking because there was a bright light in my face I could see her but only a shadow figure, she continued “Baby we are going to have a weekend together, if after that you would like us to keep You we will take that next step... should you wish to leave your free to do so...Ok? You can answer past the gag we will understand You...” I told them Yes lisping best I could past the gag, she spoke again.......”Now The Hard Part Babyslave!....You will have No Safeword  & No limits!! We will not hurt you permanently or leave you scared in any way...Only perhaps mentality ! Now Babyslave Master D is going to uncuff you, if you want to leave put your arms out in front of you, But if You fully understands what I just told You & are the person in your “stories” I Want You to put your handies behind your head keeping them there..Ok Babyslave Toy..time too choose ??”

I could now start to focus on her she was stunning! Long black hair in a ponytail she was very slim around 5’9″ tall smiling down at me...

I put my hands together behind my head interlocking My fingers.....

This was what they had hoped for they had spent hours looking over ads reading through them they had come across his ad it was very different from most as it held an Abdl content as she read over this Mistress Mandy smiled she knew of abdl but had not chosen that path in her FEM DOM career, but now older looking to retirement both her and her husband were looking towards having her Deepest Fantasy fulfilled to use a genuine submissive without bounds other than the physical limits of the human body the Mind ..well that was a different thing altogether !! Reading his ad she had become very wet....asking her husband over to look at the ad she was grinning ear to ear ! Turning to his wife he smiled are You sure ?...but he could already tell this new Toys fate was sealed, she smiled “yes darling am sure the abdl will give us a huge Humiliation element to his training, plus i kind of like that I could have him collapsing into a Babyslave’....Ok message him I lets see what happens darling was all he said.

They could not believe there luck not only was he Deeply submissive he was alone at home for the weekend already Playing !! The next bit was simple as she typed “Baby you have 30mins !” Heading in the car too there home she was throbbing with want a Deep Want of Dominance her way, a wish about to be fulfilled, they parked up...five mins latter a silver Bmw drove into the car park facing them as he stepped out she turned smiling “That him look at the shape”...he got out opening the door....

Her thoughts returned to her she spoke to him “Clever Babyslave Ok lets begin Get her up on her feet Master D”. I was pulled upright! She unzipped the suit as Master D pulled it down I felt a tug at the side then a ripping sound then a second tug followed by a second ripping sound as the hook on the blade cut through the black overalls....

I now stood before them in my pink maids uniform with the huge Nappy on, Master D lifted the dress at the sides then spoke “My my Mistress M look at this Sissy is already dressed to go to work for us!...” Mistress M spoke “Yes indeed Master D...But She has her very first task to do ..Don’t You Crybaby! Do it Now!....push Hard I want to see that Crybaby Face go red with Effort!,”

They both came around to watch the spectacle as I went Potty’Pants in front of them both ! I felt so Very ashamed but strangely I found I was Very turned on at the same time...she spoke to me “Clever girlie Crybaby is that it all out? ...then turn the fuck around so we can get a good look at your poopies” as I turned in the spreader bar I couldn’t believe my eyes I was in a dungeon!! It had every bondage Toy around whips,paddles,leather straps,hoods, cases with strange-looking equipment in them....

She patted my rear lightly Sit Down!” As I bent I could feel the mess spreading up my back. Suddenly my hips was held and I was slowly lowered on to something? It was a knee ? Mistress M came around in front of me then bent forwards “Bounce on Master Daddy’s Knee Crybaby! ....this was something I knew about them from there page..they were both heavily into Humiliation !! As I bounced I felt a smack to My rear! Then Master Daddy Spoke taking my hips “No Crybaby like this !” He forced me up & down getting more & more forceful as he did, Mistress M spoke “Clever girlie Crybaby that’s better isn’t it!..yes ? (They both giggled as I listed out a Wess) Louder Crybaby! Say it !..Clever girlie you bounce for Master Daddy as I get your first punishment set up....its time to see You Crying....

She wheeled over a large box it was black the top had a hole around 8” Mistress M opened the top, inside was what looked like a saddle with a back to it, this had straps on it.

She loved this box a friend had given her the saddle and another carpenter friend had built the box, inside the black leather saddle was mounted on a leather-covered platform 2ft high this was oval so the Slave in the saddle had to both bend their knees wide but angled under them once in the leather ankle cuffs, the back had a padded angular back rest with a built-in arm binder that laced up the rear once the slates hands were made immobile by the ball mittens, above this the lid had a round leather covered top a hole at its centre that was in two half’s so the slaves head would be the only thing seen once closed up tight. It’s Was truly a wicked bit of  BDSM furniture !!

Master Daddy was still Bouncing me at this point he then stopped, I still had my hands behind my head as I was genuinely afraid to move them ! Master Daddy then lifted me up the mess was spread everywhere I could now smell it, he pushed me forward towards the box he spoke to his wife “ Let’s hurry up as stinky butt here needs to appreciate The Gift we let her have Mistress Mummy” He then took the spreader bar off as she stood in front of me....

Mistress M spoke “Ok into the box for us Crybaby leggies Down the side of the saddle for Mistress Mummy..Clever girlie Crybaby arms down the back so Master Daddy can strap You into your armbinder” my arms were slowly being pulled together tighter and tighter, i started whimpering as my chest was forced forwards the more my arms tightened my shoulders became taut pulled relentlessly back, the last two straps crossed over my chest down over my shoulders to the waiting buckles these he wrenched upwards ! as I jerked due to the force he spoke “Clever girlie Crybaby..lets close this up”  patting my head He positioned the top rear part then spoke “headie all the way back....Clever Crybaby Hold Still for us “Master Daddy pushed closed the front part then locked the two half’s together now only my head was out the box, Mistress Mummy had a rubber hood this one went on tightly it covered my head but left my face open framed by black rubber, Master Daddy had what looked like a large helmet in two half’s with buckles all over it to join the two half’s together, at the mouth it had a short oval tube, Mistress Mummy spoke to me “Open Wide Crybaby! “ as I did the tube was forced into my mouth i had to open really wide to accept it...I whimpered as he pushed it on Very hard pulling the two half’s together the oval passed behind my teeth holding my mouth open, he strapped it on tightly! I heard pumping as the inside of the helmet Got tighter!.. It was inflatable !!

Master Daddy put a tube from the back of the box to the helmet at the rear, then patted my head walking off, Mistress Mummy squatted down at my side as she spoke “Ok Crybaby Master Daddy and I have to get something set up for you so sit here till we’re Ready for you Crybaby, as there was not much time to prepare Your punishment equipment for this evening...So as you Sit here contemplating what we’re going to do to You Crybaby here is a wee taster so too speak’ she giggled as Master Daddy came over with a red funnel this had a tube from it around six inches long, handing it to Mistress Mummy she started pushing it in my nostril hole! Next Master Daddy did something to the box and it tilted backwards! As she held the funnel he lifted A condom full of a huge load ! Without warning he poured it into the funnel! I could feel it go down the back of my throat, it was still warm! I started to tear up as I knew this pair meant every word of their Dominance over me...with her other hand Mistress Mummy pushed a cock gag into my mouth making me hold it!  As she strapped it behind my head.

“Clever Baby hold that until we get back did you like Mummy & Daddy’s Gift ...Yes Cutie it was from us both You made us so het we had to Make love..But we didn’t want our Baby to miss out so Mistress Mummy squatted Over the wee funnel as she climaxed Master Daddy’s Gift Out to mix with hers...Clever girlie... Crybaby cock sucker!”

She removed the tube from my nose then pulled mask over my nose and mouth that clipped to the helmet via holes in its sides..I Suddenly heard a sound like the hollow tubes as a kid we would spin around our heads to make different sounds..but this tube echoed to my Breaths as I slowly started to smell my rear only much stronger !!!

Mistress loved this bit of the Box as it had a built in fan that made the slave have to endure whatever they decided to put in the box, she had put many things into the Box at her clients ask, But this time ? This was her choice her devious plan to slowly reprogram his mind to her will..Her wants and needs...

They seemed to have been away for ages, with me sat in the box kneeling over the saddle smelling my own mess!..I tested the bonds but it made the smell stronger as I moved spreading my mess even further around my now soaking wet nappy !! when the door opened Mistress Mummy was first to walk in she had changed into a black rubber skirt and white rubber top it was sleeveless she had on black rubber tights and hold ups...She strode over without a word then picked up an item a strange two foot long tube, it had a shaft from it with a handle the inner and outer shaft were threaded at the base of the inner it looked like an oval leather pad...Mistress went behind me screwed it to the back of the box....as Master Daddy came in he had on a black rubber shirt and rubber pants on the front of these was a pouch...He stood in front of me then spoke “Now Crybaby we have everything set up for You so now let’s give You a look at what Is ahead” ..then Mistress Mummy Spoke “Right Crybaby look back at me..Clever girlie Crybaby Keep looking at Me!!” Suddenly I felt something in my back pushing me forward into more of an arch....”Clever girlie Crybaby Keep looking at Me !” It started to hurt being bent in an arch the more I arched the less movement I had till I could simply Not move! I started crying...

“Awww Clever girlie Crybaby...tears already look Master Daddy real tears, seems Crybaby has very low limits poor thing”...Master Daddy just chuckled as he took the pouch off his shorts, Mistress Mummy removed the harness then the gag. In front of me he was already swollen, straddling the box pushing into the mouth hole..”Right Crybaby lets give You a good skull Fucking...then we can take you to get cleaned up for your Obedience Training!”....he started slowly entering my mouth!!....mistress mummy held my head  looking down at me as I gagged for air as I was throat fucked by this man i had only just met !!

“Clever girlie Crybaby work Master Daddy’s Dummy nice and you get air ! if not ? No Air cuteness...that’s a girlie!” Master Daddy withdrew as I gasped for air, he spoke “Clever girlie Crybaby just like that suck with your cute Baby tongue under Master Daddy’s Dummy....Clever girlie Crybaby here we go Deeper this time though cuteness ! Hold her nice and tightly Mistress Mummy, she needs to learn To sallow !”....Mistress mummy forced me on his shaft as I wrenched I felt him swelling then the first spasm! Mistress mummy barked at me “Don’t You Dare pass out Crybaby!! Swallow! ..Do it every last drop of Master Daddy’s gift!”

Fuck this was all she had hoped for he was a true submissive as they worked there trade he had simply collapsed tears streaming from him at the realisation they were Very much in control a control they would use to train him to total submission a compliment Babyslave that they and there friends would use...Yes she would take her time show her DOMINANT friends just how she could mould a SLAVE....

[kafeuka]

[1/1] darling, it’s cold outside (we’ll be alright)

Before Jeongguk dies, he wanted to accomplish a lot of things. Most of his goals were unrealistic, things that could only happen in his dreams. He began writing a bucket list, and due to his indecisiveness, the lists were often crumpled and tossed into the bin.

Months ago, Jeongguk decided to keep the list short, simple and attainable.

Weeks ago, Jeongguk decided that he should start crossing off stuff from the list.

Tonight, Jeongguk decided that he would do it all at once.

And along the way, he met a vibrant man with bubblegum hair, clad in his signature black sparkling, glitter jacket.

(or: Jeongguk and Jimin went on a roadtrip to cross off everything on Jeongguk's bucket list)

read on AO3

Fingers picking on the loose thread of his jeans, feet incessantly tapping against the tiled floor, restless round eyes staring intently at the wall clock — one could tell that Jeongguk was feeling nervous and yet his parents paid him no mind.

 Aside from the sounds of his parents chewing and cutleries clashing against ceramic bowls, the table was silent. It had been like that since Jeongguk could remember that at this point, it felt more normal than when any of them decided to start a conversation. He barely touched his food, too busy staring at the clock situated on the wall near the empty seat. As they were a family that respected traditions and rules, Junghyun’s seat had been left empty for nearly three years now. Father was always sat facing mother while Jeongguk would face Junghyun, but all he was seeing now was an unoccupied seat and beige-coloured wall.

 Jeongguk was shaken from his reverie when he heard mother’s voice from his side. “Why aren’t you eating?”

 “Ah...” he dumbly responded before he reached out for the chopsticks and pretended to pick up some radish. “I’ve had a big lunch and continued snacking earlier,” he lied.

 Back when he was younger, he was taught that he should not lie. He never liked lying anyway, he hated the feeling of getting caught. These days, however, the lies would just roll out of his tongue rather smoothly; it was as easy as breathing.

 He surmised that he was a professional liar as his mother did not question him and instead resumed eating her food.

 One of the rules during dinner was to wait for everyone to finish eating before leaving the table and Jeongguk thought this had to be the longest he had ever waited — in fact it was probably even more excruciating than that one day on Thanksgiving. He blamed it on the nerves and the abundance of food his mother decided to cook today. Exhaling quietly, he decided to calm down by stuffing himself with the fried rice. After all, letting himself get too invested in counting the minutes only made the wait even longer.

 As soon as both of his parents placed their eating utensils on the table, Jeongguk dashed towards the wet kitchen and abruptly washed the dishes, eager to get away from the suffocating silence.

 After he was done, he would go straight to his bed room and stayed there for the remaining of the night. But not tonight. Tonight, Jeongguk had plans to do something else. Tonight, Jeongguk was finally going to do it.

       Before Jeongguk dies, he wanted to accomplish a lot of things. Most of his goals were unrealistic, things that could only happen in his dreams. He began writing a bucket list, and due to his indecisiveness, the lists were often crumpled and tossed into the bin.

 Months ago, Jeongguk decided to keep the list short, simple and attainable.

 Weeks ago, Jeongguk decided that he should start crossing off stuff from the list.

 Tonight, Jeongguk decided that he would do it all at once.

      Nearly everyone in Jeongguk’s group of friends were either the youngest or the middle child. More often than not, they would always complain how they were being treated unfairly because of the hierarchy. As Jeongguk grew older, he was expecting to have only hand-me-downs from Junghyun. After all, it was Junghyun’s crib he slept on and Junghyun’s outfits that he wore for the first few years of his life.

 The hand-me-downs stopped when Jeongguk reached sixteen, because there were not any items of Junghyun that could be passed down to him. Wearing Junghyun’s shirts and playing Junghyun’s console brought uneasiness and guilt crawling underneath his skin.

 But to cross off the first item on Jeongguk’s bucket list, he would need to borrow Junghyun’s car.

 Junghyun’s car was not exactly something that stepped out of Jeongguk’s dream — it was an old 4x4 truck, painted in cherry red, that did not have a working air conditioner. In addition to the unbearable heat, it never failed to make a loud screeching noise whenever the engine was started. The truck was not much, but Jeongguk knew it was a gift from their father that Junghyun treasured the most.

 The amount of times he had ridden the truck with Junghyun could be counted with just one hand, and he only enjoyed half the time they spent in the wretched truck.

 When the clock struck ten thirty, Jeongguk tiptoed down the stairs and as subtle as he could, he grabbed Junghyun’s car keys from the key rack near the front door. Snatching the keys was effortless; Junghyun’s car keys had a small red electric guitar keychain attached to it and seeing as all the lights were turned off, his parents were probably already sleeping upstairs.

 Starting up the car, however, was quite a challenge. He could still recall the secondhand embarrassment he felt whenever every time Junghyun started up the car in public, how everyone would turn their heads towards their direction because the engine made noises so loud that if the sky had hands, it would cover its ears. With a deep breath and unsteady hands, he carefully inserted the key into the keyway and silently prayed that the noise would not wake his parents up. He had no idea what he was supposed to say if they saw him in Junghyun’s car and he certainly could not afford to get caught. It was his only chance and it had to be tonight; any other day would not feel right.

 Once he turned the key, the truck began to make loud noises that would easily be mistaken as high-pitched squeals but there was no doubt that anyone in the Jeon household would know if someone had started up Junghyun’s car. He counted until five under his breath, not bothering to wait for the truck to fully warm up before he shifted to the reverse gear to back up the car and drove as far from the house as he could.

 “Wow,” he muttered under his breath, the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Unconsciously, his grip on the steering wheel was tightened as his heart pattered excitedly against his ribcage.

 He let out a laugh, amazed and proud at himself for taking the very first step that he had been so scared of. With the window lowered and a gratified feeling he had not felt for years, he thought:

 This must be what freedom tastes like.

           Jeongguk always preferred the silence to the loud. Which was why he was questioning himself why he’d let his three AM shadow to write the bucket list that included going a strip club as a part of it.

 A small part of him had always wondered what it was like to pay for a stranger to dance on him, to pretend that he was the only person in the world that mattered.

 He had sat inside the truck for ten minutes, staring at the eye-catching neon lights of the club’s exterior, debating whether he should ditch this one goal or just went on with it. He was so close to driving away, to never come back and pretended it was never on the list but he knew tonight, the list would do all the decisions for him whether he liked it or not.

 Based on his research, the club should be opened half an hour ago and yet when Jeongguk entered, he could count the amount of people there with one hand. The music was not as loud as he expected it to be — he can still hear the whistles from whom he assumed were the customers and the sounds of the bartender mixing up a drink.

 He paid no attention to the other clients, deciding that it was better to focus on himself and his bucket list for tonight. Just as he seated himself, a man with only a bowtie and a tight, black shorts approached him with a lazy smile.

 “What can I getcha tonight?”

 “Uh...” Jungkook looked up to him, hoping he looked like he was not lost. He swallowed and the guy only raised an eyebrow, which made him more nervous and somehow his answer came out as a question. “Juice...?”

 The guy’s face softened as he broke into a small laughter and Jeongguk could feel his face warmed up. Thankfully, he thought, at least the low lighting made it impossible to see his reddening face.

 “Oh honey, I meant I can getcha a beer, we ain’t got no juice here, I can also have someone dance for ya.”

 “In that case,” Jeongguk gulped before standing up from his seat. It was evident on his face that Bowtie was confused. “Please excuse me... I-I gotta go to the bathroom.”

 “Suit yaself.”

 Jeongguk wanted to run away. It was not for him; he knew it from the beginning but he could not bring himself to give up just like that. It was what Junghyun would have wanted. Instead of going straight back to the parking lot, he ran to the bathroom.

 The bathroom was clean, the walls were painted purple with pictures of men doing inappropriate poses hung on it. Jeongguk washed his face, hoping that in some way it could wash away all his thoughts of being a chicken. He stared at his reflection on the mirror, berating himself for even thinking of backing away. He had only just started, and if he were to stop now, he will never forgive himself ever.

 With new determination and fists shoved inside the pockets of his yellow jacket, he walked out of the bathroom, head held up high only for him to stop in his tracks when he saw a familiar face. Not far from the entrance of the bathroom, he saw a loyal customer from the jeans store he worked at. Jeongguk was good with faces, but this one was certainly unforgettable — pastel pink hair, rosy freckled cheeks and strawberry-tainted pillow lips. From where Jeongguk was standing, he could make out the usual glittered black jacket that he was always donning and the tight, ripped jeans that seemed painted on his legs.

 The person in front of him was bigger and taller than he was, his muscles were prominent despite the white shirt covering them. Jeongguk caught a few words from their conversation — or, a better way to say it was an ‘argument’.

 The Bigger one had his arms folded, trying to convince the Smaller to do something from the way he said, “You have to!”

 The Smaller had his brows furrowed, lips frowning and eyes burning raging fire as he countered back, “No!”

 Bigger said something before pointing a finger and prodding it on Smaller’s chest, seeming as if to threaten him, before leaving Smaller with his chest heaving and looking as if he was just told that his best friend had been sleeping with his partner.

 Absentmindedly, Jeongguk walked over, suddenly filled with the urge to comfort him even though they never really interacted aside from “is this the size you’re looking for?”

 “Rough night?”

 “Piss off,” Smaller spat out, glaring at Jeongguk. He crossed his arms in irritation, turning away from Jeongguk.

 Ouch. Jeongguk would be lying if he said that did not hurt.

 “You don’t deserve that.” Jeongguk pressed his lips into a straight line before letting out a sigh, placing one hand on the back of his neck and murmuring, “Just like I don’t deserve that.”

 Jeongguk saw the way Smaller’s eyes softened despite the frown on his lips.

Jeongguk did not know what came over him that made him say it, perhaps it was the small voice at the back of his head that reminded him that tonight was all about going out of his comfort zone, and that this would be counted as crossing off one item. Though he cringed when he recalled this back, he felt glad and overflowed with confidence as the words slipped out of his lips.

 “I’m going on an adventure tonight. You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.”

 Smaller’s eyes bulged and his mouth slightly parted open, shocked at the sudden invitation and if Jeongguk were to be honest, he would too if a stranger suddenly invited him to go for an adventure. The words were now out in the open, floating around mindlessly and Jeongguk did not wait for Smaller to catch them and give Jeongguk his answer. To mask his embarrassment, Jeongguk cleared his throat and hastily added, “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I-I’m gonna go now.”

 Awkwardly, he lifted a hand as a farewell gesture before storming off.

 “Oh my god,” he mumbled, fishing for the car key in his pocket. “What did I do that for?” he whispered to himself, horrified at the mess he created.

 He was ready to leave, maybe lie down on the road and wait for an oncoming dumpster truck to run over him, and just as he found the key, he heard a voice screaming, “Wait!”

 He turned to the source of the voice, to find Smaller was jogging towards his direction with his hand up. No longer did he had the frown on his face, and Jeongguk thought that he might have not made a mistake after all. Smaller halted, his chest heaving lightly before his lips stretched into a small smile that made Jeongguk’s heart fluttered.

 “Does the offer still stand?”

 Jeongguk could not help the grin that was taking over himself as he nodded.

 “Great,” Smaller beamed. “I’m Jimin, by the way.”

 “Jeongguk.”

 “Jeongguk,” Jimin said, as if to taste the new name on his tongue. “Do you accept me as your companion for your adventure tonight?”

 Jeongguk chuckled, shaking his head at the silliness he did not expect coming from Jimin.

 “It would be my pleasure, Jimin-ssi.”

        If, in an alternate universe where every thought you have will be written on your forehead, Jimin’s would probably be: ‘adventure, my ass.’

 Five minutes into their so called ‘adventure’ and the Jimin seemed as if he was ready to jump out of the car and run back to the strip club. To say he was worried about boring Jimin would be an understatement, because he could not stop swallowing and glancing at Jimin’s direction. Jimin had his elbow on the windowsill, head resting against his fisted palms as the wind made his bubblegum hair dance.

Jeongguk cleared his throat, straightening his back against the worn-out leather seat. He ran through the questions in his mind, trying to pick the one that was appropriate or interesting.

 “So, Jeongguk.” He heard Jimin spoke and all the questions in his mind dissipated. “Does going to a strip club counted as part of your adventure?”

 Jeongguk nearly choked at the mention of the strip club. He could feel his ears burnt hot as he chewed the inside of his right cheek. Before he could answer, a soft laughter was emitted from Jimin. He turned to Jimin, who was slightly shaking his head that it made his feet relax, his grip on the steering wheel loosened and brought a chuckle out of Jeongguk’s lips.

 “You can say that. Technically that’s not adventurous, as I chickened out and instead recruit you as a companion but yeah, it’s part of the adventure.”

 Jeongguk could tell that Jimin had something he wanted to say, and from the look on the guy’s face, Jeongguk was not sure if he wanted to know.

 “Say, Jimin,” Jeongguk spoke up as he checked his side mirror before pushing down the signal switch and shifting to the next lane. “Are you starving?”

 “Very.”

 “Great. ‘Cause on our next adventure, we’ll be eating the best donkasseu in the whole world.”

       The trip to Yeoju Rest Stop was not as uncomfortable as Jeongguk thought it would be. In fact, at the mention of donkasseu, Jimin was piqued with interest and Jeongguk noted that being excited made Jimin more talkative, that all his worries about drowning in silence vanished in a blink of an eye.

 Jimin argued that the best donkasseu in the world would have to at the restaurant near his home, and when Jeongguk voiced out that he never heard of it, Jimin was a tad bit offended that he promised to take Jeongguk there someday.

 Once they have arrived, Jeongguk was surprised at how lively it was. Although it was nearing midnight, the place was filled with the chatter of the people and the smell of delicious food. Jeongguk stomach grumbled at the sight of the potato pancake, a favourite of his since he was younger.

 Jimin could not help but let out a lot of ‘wow’s as they passed by each of the kiosks. The aunties and uncles behind the counters were greeting them cheerfully and they say words to entice them to buying their product. Jeongguk would have gotten everything if he could, but his main goal was the donkasseu.

 It was the donkasseu or nothing.

 Finally, when they reached the donkasseu kiosk, they halted right in front of it, staring at the menu. One of the waiters came out from the wet kitchen, bringing a tray of two donkasseu and two cans of cola, too busy trying to balance them to acknowledge Jimin and Jeongguk. Jeongguk’s mouth was watering by then, the smell of freshly cooked donkasseu filled his nostrils and all he could think about was stuffing himself with it.

 “Holy crap,” Jimin mumbled as his eyes followed the waiter. “It smells so good.”

 Jeongguk was in no state of mind to answer, afraid that a waterfall of his saliva would spill from his mouth if he did. He swallowed before walking towards the kiosk, hands on the counter. An auntie came out from the door, grinning from ear to ear when she saw them. Jeongguk thanked every deity to ever existed, because he did not know what he would do if someone hadn’t taken his order this instant.

 Jangmi – from the nametag the auntie was wearing – had wrinkles around her kind, almond eyes as she smiled.

 From Jeongguk’s observation when he was younger, every seller had different voices when they speak. He learnt this from his mother, who was a freelance baker. Jangmi had the same voice as his mother when she was attending a customer, though Jangmi’s was more towards pestering in a way, as she attempted to entice the both of them into getting two servings of fried prawns.

 After one full minute of ensuring Jangmi that they were good with just the donkasseu, they sat on a table at the end, the both of them facing each other.

 There was a rumbling sound coming from Jimin that made Jimin’s face turned into a scarlet hue while Jeongguk tried his hardest not to crack a smile.

 “Sorry. The smell, god, everything just smells so good here.”

 “Yeah. I didn’t know a rest stop could be this lively at night.”

 “Really? I thought you’ve been here before.”

 Jeongguk shook his head, lowering his gaze to stare at his fingers that were fumbling with the zipper of his jacket.

 Jimin raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, sensing that there was some sort of story that brought Jeongguk here. Jeongguk bit his lower lip, before answering in a soft voice, “My brother was the one who told me about this place. He really, really, really loved it. He promised to take me someday.”

 Though Jimin’s face had curiosity written all over it, he did not pry for more as his eyes followed the movement of a waiter carrying a bowl of jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk.

 “Thanks, by the way.”

 “For…?”

 “For paying on my behalf,” Jimin answered with a shrug, hoping that it passed as nonchalant but the pink tint on his cheeks indicated otherwise.

 Jeongguk chuckled, letting his head fall in an attempt to cover the smile that was trying to take over his face before replying, “No worries. It’s the least I can do after I drag you to my lame adventure.”

 “It’s not lame! Well, maybe, okay, a little bit.”

 “Hey!”

 The food arrived just in time, and both boys devoured the donkasseu in silent. Junghyun did not lie when he said this was the best donkasseu in the world; it was crispy yet juicy, the meat tender and the sauce, oh god, it was to die for. Jeongguk was the one who emptied his plate first, leaning back against the plastic chair to calm himself. He felt sated, both his heart and stomach.

 Jimin finished a few moments later, leaving the tomatoes on the side of his plate. He too, leaned back against his chair after grabbing a napkin to wipe the corner of his mouth.

 “Man… I don’t think I will ever eat any other donkasseu ever again.”

 “I second that.”

 “This one just put the other donkasseu to shame.”

 “Agreed.” After a while, Jeongguk added, “You don’t like tomatoes?”

 “Eh. Not a big fan,” Jimin murmured, pushing one of the tomatoes with a fork.

 “Me too. But there was sauce on them so I just ate them, and they’re pretty good actually.”

 “So, where do we go next?”

 “We’ll go where the list wants us to go.”

        “You said something about a list. This isn’t just some random adventure, isn’t it?”

 “To tell you the truth, they’re not even an adventure at all. Can eating at a random rest stop be called an adventure? I think it’s just me trying to convince myself that my life isn’t as boring as I make it out to be.”

 “Hm. So, you’re saying that, these are just things that you wanted to do before you die?”

 “You can say it like that, yeah.”

 There was a moment of silent before Jimin erupted with laughter as he slapped his thigh, his body shaking due to the intensity of it that Jeongguk was scared he might accidentally open the door and roll out to the road.

 Jimin calmed down no longer after that, but there was still mirth in his voice. “I can’t believe going to a strip club is part of your list.”

 “Hey!” Jeongguk said rather defensively, glaring at Jimin for a second before focusing back on the road. The road was practically empty, but Jeongguk still had the need to becareful. “It was something that I needed to do, okay.” He was aware of how sulky he sounded. It was not his intention, but it came out that way.

 “Oh shit… don’t tell me you have, like, three more days to live?”

 From the corner of his eyes, Jeongguk could see Jimin was turning his whole body towards him and he fought the urge to roll his eyes because of how silly Jimin was being. He did not have to look to know that sympathy and shock was written all over Jimin’s face. Without meaning to, Jeongguk let out an exasperated groan. “No, Jimin, damn it. The list is just things I needed to do before today ends, okay.”

 “Oh, okay then. That’s cool.” It had not even been five second of silence before Jimin spoke up again, “Wait, wait, wait, I have a question. What else are there in your list?”

 “Why do you ask?”

 “Aw, come on. I’m your companion now. I’d like to help. Isn’t that what companions are for?”

 Jeongguk sighed. He contemplated in telling Jimin, seeing how much laughter came out of him when he knew going to a strip club was in his bucket list. He readied himself for another round of laughter from Jimin as he said, “Do something illegal, smoke—”

 “Jeongguk, what the fuck.”

 “What?” He threw Jimin a pointed look, daring the bubblegum-haired to make fun of him again. Instead, Jimin only throw both his hands up, as if to ensure him that he was not going to say mean things.

 “Okay, go on.”

 “Uh, sleep under the stars—”

 “Jesus, just where do you think we can—”

 “There’s a desert that Junghyun told me about, a few miles away from Yeoju Rest Stop.”

 “Are we heading there now?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Dude, if we sleep now, how else can we cross off the other stuff?”

 “Maybe we can take a short nap…?”

 “Fuck, you know what, let’s do something illegal and smoke first. I know just what to do.”

       The words on paper was written after he gave it some thought. Now that he was about to do it, he now knew clearly, he had not given it enough thought. He did not know why he thought doing something illegal was a great idea. When Jimin laid out the plan, it seemed as if it was very easy to accomplish. But sitting in the car, staring at the broken 24/7 LED sign on top of the wall, made his palms sweat and he could not stop biting his bottom lip.

 The glass walls showed that the store was empty. At most, there would probably be another worker at the storage. He saw an old man behind the cash register, flipping through a newspaper. Who the heck read newspaper at one o’clock in the morning?

 Jimin, on the other hand, seemed eager. Despite the dark, Jeongguk could see his eyes twinkling in mischief. Maybe it was Jeongguk’s brain telling him that it was overheating with just the thought of robbing a store, but Jimin’s eyes shone brighter than his glittery jacket.

 “Are you ready for this?” Jimin whispered, grinning, his eyes not leaving the store.

 His tone made Jeongguk wonder why Jimin was the excited one between the two of them. It should be Jeongguk. Jeongguk was the one with the list. He was the one who created the list. Jeongguk swallowed, tearing his eyes away from Jimin to stare at the man again. The man was too immersed in reading that he did not realize that they had been sitting in the car for ten minutes.

 Jeongguk opened his mouth to speak, eyebrows furrowing as he turned to Jimin. “I don’t think we should—”

 “Trust me.” Jimin’s voice dropped an octave, his gaze was burning with determination, yet the sparkles were still there. “There’s no CCTV here. See?” Jimin pointed at nothing in particular. “No TV. No cameras. It’s one of the oldest stores in the branch, I reckon they don’t even bother upgrading their security system.”

 Perhaps it was how sure Jimin was, how confidence was literally oozing in every word he said and how for the first time tonight, Jeongguk saw the twinkles in his eyes and he did not want them to disappear, that Jeongguk felt assured and gave in. There was, however, one thing that concerned him.

 “But the cigarettes,” Jeongguk murmured. “They’re on the shelves behind him.”

 Jimin gave him a smile, one laced with mischief and promised trouble. Strangely enough, Jeongguk felt at ease though his foot was tapping against the floorboard, and without realizing, his lips curved upwards too, feeling his heart swell twice its size.

      If someone had told Jeongguk that he would be robbing a store with a random guy he picked up at a strip club, Jeongguk would have thought they were out of their mind. Jeongguk only watched as Jimin strutted inside the convenience store as if he owned it. Jeongguk, on the other hand, had to shove his fists inside the pockets of his jacket in a weak attempt to stop them from shaking.

 He hoped he did not look as nervous as he was feeling, because all he could hear were the sound of his heartbeat drumming vehemently in his ears. He went towards the coolers, reading all the names of the beverages to calm his nerves. After pondering for a while, he grabbed the six pack of beer, carefully holding it with both hands in fear he might accidentally drop them. From where he was, he peeked at Jimin, who was approaching the counter with swagger spilling all over the place with his hands holding a few snacks.

 Jeongguk tensed when Jimin nonchalantly leaned against the counter, pointing one of the boxes of cigarettes behind the cashier. The man gave Jimin a disinterested look as he grabbed a box, and when Jimin shook his head no, the man sighed and took another one.

 Jeongguk did not realize he was holding his breath until he heard himself exhale rather loudly, and it was only when Jimin turned to him, giving him a wink that he could finally breathe again.

That was the signal for Jeongguk to get ready to run. The thought of robbing the store so openly with the worker right in front of them had both anxiety and excitement thrumming through his veins.

 He nodded as a response, holding the six-pack close to his chest. He swallowed thickly against the wave of nausea that was bubbling in his throat, and he was certain his cheeks were flushed with the thrill of doing something he should not. He was getting closer and closer to Jimin now, who was still pretending to choose the right brand.

 Once he was only a few steps away from Jimin, Jimin asked for a lighter, earning another sigh from the man.

 “This the right one?” the man asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

 “Yes, this’ll do. Perfect, perfect…” Jimin grinned.

 “Great,” the man muttered, folding his newspaper from the counter. When he turned to place the newspaper behind him, Jimin whisper-screamed, “RUN!” and that was all it took for Jeongguk to scamper away, one hand holding the six-pack tightly while the other scrambled to take out the keys from his jacket.

 By the time they have entered the car, it finally dawned on the man that they were gone. His fingers grew clumsy as he heard the man scream, terrible thoughts flooding into his mind as he failed to insert the key into the keyhole.

 “Holy shit, Jeongguk! Fucking drive, fucking drive!!” Jimin yelled, slapping the headrest.

 “STOP RIGHT THERE, FUCKERS!!”

 Jimin’s yelling, combined with the man’s booming voice demanding them to stop, only made Jeongguk’s palm sweat. He bit his lower lip, eyes never leaving the man while his hand was desperately trying to put the key in. Jeongguk expected the man to step over the counter, but thankfully they were given time as the man struggled to lift the counter top.

 “Fuck!!”

 “OH MY GOD,” Jeongguk screamed in both frustration and relief, finally able to insert the key and without even thinking twice, he started the engine, shifted to first gear and reversed.

 “HEY, STOP!!”

 The man was finally out, shaking his fists towards them and that was enough motivation for Jeongguk to press the gas all the way to the floorboard, driving away as fast as he could. From the rear-view mirror, Jeongguk could see the man was screaming, both middle fingers up to their direction.

 There was a moment of silence between the two of them.

 “Fuck,” Jimin murmured, his eyes glued to the dark road ahead of them.

 Jeongguk’s chest were heaving, lungs desperate for air. He could still feel the adrenaline in his veins and a fine sheen of sweat breaking out on his forehead. “Fuck,” Jeongguk muttered before a peal of laughter rose through his chest, escaping his lips before he could even try to hold it in.

 Jimin also burst into a relieved laughter, his whole body vibrating with tiny tremors as he reached out to hold Jeongguk’s shoulder.  

 “Did you—” Jimin had to paused in between his laughter, lightly and repeatedly patting Jeongguk’s shoulder as if the gesture would help to squeeze the words out. “D-did you see his fa-face?”

 “Jimin, don’t—” Jeongguk guffawed, nearly steering them to the other lane.

 “I can’t believe he waddled instead of running, oh dear lord.”

 They laughed and laughed and laughed to their heart’s content and nothing in particular, feeling as if they had the night in the palm of their hands. Jeongguk could not remember the last time he felt this way; free and happy, like birds gliding across the skies.

    Some of the street lights were not working, and Jeongguk had to rely on the headlights and the moonlight to guide them there. They had been laughing their asses of on their way there, too busy recalling the look on the worker’s face and telling the stories of how they were sure they were not going to make it out alive.

 When they arrived at the desert, Jeongguk drove a tad bit further than he intended before shifting the gear to neutral and pulling the handbrake up. Turning off the headlights and engine, both of them went out, with Jimin holding onto the snacks and Jeongguk the beers. Jeongguk placed the beers onto the bed floor of the truck before unlocking the tailgate and climbing inside, Jimin following him afterwards.

 While there was only a landscape of sand ahead of them, above them were black skies painted with specks of sparkling silvers and strokes of velvet and violet. Except for the both of them, the desert was empty of life, and it almost made Jeongguk feel as if they were the only ones awake at this hour; that they were the only ones who witnessed the moon gradually retiring to her slumber.

 Jeongguk sniffed, pulling his jacket closer to him as the cold air nipped on his neck.

 He took out the beers, opened one and handed it to Jimin before opening one for himself. Jimin took the can with a murmur of ‘thanks’ as he placed the snacks before them. Jeongguk took a sip of his first beer, surprised at how bitter it was. He pulled away, staring at the can in disdain. Jimin let out a chuckle at Jeongguk’s expression as he took a sip himself.

 “Blegh, this isn’t that good,” Jeongguk muttered.

 “They’re alright.” Jimin shrugged as he leaned on both of his palms to get a better view of the night sky.

 Jeongguk was never a fan of the dark, but here with Jimin and the winking stars, it gave him comfort. It was half-moon tonight, and while Jeongguk was able to view skies from his bedroom window, he knew nothing could ever beat the view he was witnessing right now. Here, everything was clear. No air pollution, no karaoke noises from the neighbours and no parents who stopped talking to you.

 “I feel bad,” Jeongguk voiced out, shaking the can lightly before sipping on it. He was still not accustomed to the taste, but the thought of not finishing it made him frown. It was the least he could do. He hissed at the taste before adding, “For the cashier guy.”

 Jimin chortled, slightly shaking his head. “Hey, it’s your list.”

 “But still.”

 “You wanna try smoking now?” Jimin asked, taking the cigarette box out of the pocket of his jeans to wave it to Jeongguk. Jeongguk took it, heart pounding against his chest as he held it. There was a dent in the corner and it felt light.

 Reluctantly, he tore open the package and took one stick out of the box. He glanced at Jimin, who was staring at him expectantly with a lighter in his hands.

 “Are you gonna do it with me?” Jeongguk did not like how his voice came out as a whisper, as if to indicate that he was scared of doing it alone.

 Jimin gave a sardonic grin before grabbing the box from Jeongguk, pinching the filter before putting one stick in between his lips before he flicked on the lighter. Jeongguk’s eyes followed the way Jimin brought the lighter closer to him, the light from the fire illuminated on Jimin’s face and casted shadows over his cheeks. Jimin softly inhaled, and when he exhaled, Jeongguk saw there were smoke coming out from both his mouth and nose. Involuntarily, Jeongguk scrunched his nose at the smell of smoke.

 “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” Jeongguk muttered, suddenly feeling like a fool for assuming that Jimin had not.

 “Back in high school, yeah. Mum died of cancer, so I swore to stop. Occasionally, I found myself breaking my own promise, but most of the time I’m doing all right.”

 “Oh. Sorry. About your mum, I mean. And for making you do this again,” Jeongguk murmured, head hanging low as he rolled the cancer stick between his thumb and index finger. He contemplated in pretending smoking did not exist in the list, just like how he wanted every single thing in the paper to be crossed off without actually doing it.

 “I’m not doing this for you, silly,” Jimin chuckled, taking another drag from the cigarette. When he exhaled, he stretched out his hand away from the floorboard to tap the ashes off of his cig. He said, “We’re in this weird adventure together.”

 Jeongguk liked how that sound. Weird adventure. Together. Jimin made it sound like he genuinely meant it and Jeongguk liked the feeling the words gave him; warmth, as if he was embraced.

 With awkward hands, Jeongguk lifted the stick to his lips, only for Jimin to stop him. “Hold on, darlin’, you gotta—” Jimin reached out, taking the cigarette from Jeongguk to squeeze the filter before handing it back.

 “What do you do that for?” Jeongguk asked, eyes wide in confusion, lower lip jutting out slightly.

 Jimin inhaled the smoke again, and when he exhaled, Jeongguk watched as the wisps of smoke left his lips as he smirked. “You’ll see.”

 Biting his lower lip, Jeongguk fiddled with the cigarette before finally placing it between his lips, careful not to let his tongue touch the filter. His fingers were holding onto the lighter too tightly that if he held onto it for a second longer, he was sure it might break. He was a bit shaky as he flicked the lighter, he noticed, and he was pretty sure his eyes were crossed from staring at the tip of the cigarette too hard.

 When the cigarette was finally lit up, his cheeks were sucked in as he inhaled the smoke greedily, his eyes widened a smidgen when he felt it entering his lungs and he pulled the stick away, coughing up the smoke. He heard Jimin giggle and felt his hand on his back, patting it softly.

 “Greedy boy,” Jimin chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

 Jeongguk stared at the cigarette in between his thumb and index finger in bewilderment as he smacked his lips. He was surprised that it was not as bad as he expected it to be, in fact it had a cooling effect and tasted like… strawberry. He tried to blink the thought away, he was probably just hallucinating.

 “It tastes weird,” he voiced it out, smacking his lips again. The bitterness of the beer, combined with the bittersweet taste of the cigarette, would not leave his tongue. “Like… strawberry? I don’t know.” He hoped he did not sound like a child when he said that.

 Jimin grinned, flicking the ash. “Yeah. It’s the filter.”

 “Oh,” he deadpanned. “I see.”

 “You don’t have to smoke all the way, you know that, right? You’ve crossed off another item from your list.”

 “Yeah,” he answered quietly, staring at the gray ashes that were forming at the tip of the stick. “Yeah,” he answered again, a bit louder this time as he mirrored Jimin’s action; tapping on the cigarette outside of the truck.

 Jimin climbed down from the truck, breathing in the smoke rather harshly, not stopping as if it would be his last, and Jeongguk had counted until twenty when Jimin finally pulled the stick away and threw it to the ground. He raised his head to the night sky, and Jeongguk watched, mesmerized, as Jimin puffed out the smoke as if he was a dragon.

 The whole thing was fascinating to watch, as if it was something that came out of a movie; Jimin, with his head up, lips slightly parted to let the smoke escape and there were abundant of stars twinkling above him on the jet-black firmament.

 Jeongguk did not realize he was staring, utterly enthralled at the way Jimin was just being himself. He was only snapped out of his dreams when Jimin called out his name, hand reaching out for Jeongguk to hand his cig over.

 Without hesitation, Jeongguk gave Jimin his cig, barely smoked and only a few millimeters short from its original size. Jimin did the same thing he did before, he threw the cigarette to the ground before stomping on the both of them with his black boots. Once he was done, he ran a finger through his bubblegum hair, gave Jeongguk a heart-stopping smile before stepping inside and sat down next to Jeongguk.

 “Not bad, huh?”

 “Not really. It doesn’t feel good either.”

 “Yeah. Don’t ever do it again, though.”

 Jeongguk cracked a smile. “I promise.”

 “That’s a sweet boy.”

 He knew the darkness helped conceal his face, but he turned his face away anyway, hoping that Jimin would not catch the blush that were making its way to his cheeks. A few minutes passed by with the both of them sitting in silence, staring at the sky in admiration, sipping warm beer and eating the snacks they acquired from the convenience store earlier. Jeongguk found that he hated the taste of cigarette on his tongue more than the beer, which lead him into stuffing himself with the snack to rid of the taste.

 Jimin was munching on the potato crisp when he asked, “Was I a part of your list?”

 Jeongguk nonchalantly shrugged as he bit a chocolate-covered biscuit stick. “Yeah, you can say that.”

 “Huh. What was it, if you don’t mind me asking?”

 Jeongguk took another bite of the peppero, humming and lightly tapping the it on his chin as if to appear in a deep thought. “It was… hm… make an impulsive decision.”

 Jimin giggled before plopping a potato crisp in his mouth. “Really, Jeongguk?”

 “Uhuh.” “Thought it’d be picking up a stripper or something.”

 The confusion Jeongguk was feeling was probably evident on his face, because Jimin let out a laugh and explained, “Please don’t tell me you have no idea that I worked there.”

 Jeongguk’s jaw dropped and he was lucky that he was holding the peppero tightly as his hand fell too. Jimin’s laugh only grew louder at Jeongguk’s reaction, enjoying the way Jeongguk was drowning from sea of confusion to shock in just a blink of an eye.

 “Honestly, I only approached you because—” Jeongguk stammered, his eyes were still wide like a deer caught in a headlight, “b-because I recognized you as a,” he paused to swallow, “r-regular at the jeans store I worked at.”

 “Ah! So that’s why I felt like I’ve seen you before!”

 Jeongguk frowned. It would be a lie if he said he did not feel a twinge of pain when Jimin said that.

 The concept of time was soon forgotten as they spent laughing and telling each other stories about each other. Jeongguk was getting gigglier, or maybe Jimin was just a natural comedian, his limbs were tingling and they felt light.

 They shared their horrible experiences with customers, about the best jajjangmyeon they’ve ever eaten and their childhood stories. Jeongguk learnt that Jimin was a rebel in high school, but he always aced every exam so the teachers let him off easy. (“That fueled me to rebel even more, you know?”)

 Compared to Jimin, Jeongguk’s life was a boring, straight line. Nevertheless, he enjoyed listening to Jimin talk animatedly about the troubles he caused years ago. The stories got them doubling over and it was a miracle that none of them had spurted out beer out of their nostrils yet. They calmed down after a while, enjoying the night and the stars in silence with beers and snacks in hand.

 Though he was not fond of it, Jeongguk opened up a second can of beer just to have something to drink. His fingers clumsily grazed against the pop tab a few times before he could successfully get his index finger under the tab and lift the backside to open the can.

 “Question!” Jimin suddenly yelled out with a slap on his thigh. “If we were going to sleep under the stars on this truck, why haven’t you brought pillows and blankets?”

 Jeongguk thought about it for a moment before bursting into laughter, and he never thought of his laughter as contagious, but it coaxed a laughter out of Jimin too.

 “Why didn’t I—” Jeongguk wheezed, body shaking uncontrollably that he had to put the can down. “Why didn’t I th-think about it!”

 The laughter only stopped when Jeongguk felt droplets of water on his face. “Eh?” he questioned, lifting his head up in the sky as he felt more droplets hitting his cheeks.

 “It’s raining!”

 “Shit!” Jeongguk hissed, scrambling to his feet as he grabbed the snacks and the beers. He nearly stumbled as he jumped down to the ground. He heard Jimin giggle as he opened the backdoor, shoving the items in his arms inside.

 “Jeongguk! Get out of there! Come dance in the rain!”

 “Wh-what?” Jeongguk asked in disbelief. God, his tongue felt so weird now.

 Jimin squealed as he climbed down the truck, twirling himself as the clouds began to cry even more. Jeongguk had his back against the truck, eyes trained on Jimin.

 “Take my hand!” Jimin shouted despite the gentle sound of millions of little marbles hitting the truck.

 Reluctantly, Jeongguk took Jimin’s hand and with a giggle, Jimin pulled him closer. They were dancing, holding each other’s hands as they jumped and skipped, ignoring the way their clothes were getting heavier and hair drenched due to the rain. Jeongguk felt like he was floating and Jimin was there, acting as an anchor to help him stay afloat.

 He did not fight the grin that threatened to take over his face, he let the slow warmth spread from his chest to the tips of his fingers as the took the delight in Jimin’s crescent eyes and the happy noises that left his rosy lips. The butterflies in Jeongguk’s stomach were too busy lifting his heart up into his throat for him to be bothered by the rain droplets trickling down from his hair to face.

 “We are gonna get sick!” Jimin squealed, spluttering the rain water that fell down to his face.

 Jeongguk’s eyes lit up at the sight, before he let out a laughter. The sound of water thrumming on steel reminded Jeongguk of millions of hands clapping. As if they were clapping for him and Jimin. As if they were celebrating this moment, where Jeongguk finally overcame his fears. He raised his head to the crying sky, opening his mouth and let rain drip into it, tasting its tears.

 Back in the truck, the both of them had taken their jackets off. The rain had eased off, but they were still tittering and guffawing in delight. Jeongguk sighed in contentment, limbs still tingling as he struggled to grab the keys from his drenched jeans. Everything felt so heavy, and the inside of the truck was wet for god’s sake, but that was not Jeongguk’s main concern.

 “Jimin…” he murmured, resting his back against the seat. “I think… I think I’m drunk.”

 “Oh god…” Jimin chuckled, running his fingers through his wet hair. There were drops that fell onto Jeongguk’s face as Jimin did that. Jeongguk’s reaction was to shake them away, resulting in droplets falling everywhere, which somehow made him feel nauseous.

 “Can you— can you drive? I don’t, I don’t think—”

 When was speaking this difficult?

 “Sure, darlin’, gimme a sec yeah—”

 What was supposed to be done in under a minute stretched into five as Jeongguk felt his lids were getting heavier by the second. He was startled awake when he felt Jimin shaking him from the side. He did not realize Jimin had gotten out of the car and open his door, waking him up so he could move to the passenger seat.

 After a while, Jeongguk was finally on the passenger seat, his whole body turning to face Jimin, who was now holding onto the steering wheel.

 “Okay, okay,” he heard Jimin breathed out, sounding as if he was attempting to calm himself. When the truck finally roared to life, Jeongguk’s lips tugged up into a lazy smile. Slightly shivering, he hugged himself as he let out a sigh.

 “I need you to stay awake, okay?” Jimin asked, caressing Jeongguk’s drenched cheeks. Jeongguk nodded, though his eyes were closing as he leaned into Jimin’s hand. “Truth be told, I’ve never driven a stick before, so I need you to guide me, yeah? Can you do that for me, darlin’?”

 “Yeah, yeah, any-anything, anything for you.” Jeongguk was mumbling breathlessly as his teeth chattered, losing the fight with himself to keep his eyes open.

 “Good. So, what the heck should I do first?”

      Jeongguk did not know being drunk could be… tedious. He should have known that movies lie all the time. He hated not being able to walk properly, hated the feeling that the world was spinning or he was spinning, he was not sure at this point. But if there was one thing he was certain, it was the fact that the truck kept on stalling when Jimin was driving.

 Every time it lurched forward, Jeongguk was shoved awake to the cold reality. He knew if Junghyun was here, he would murder Jeongguk with his own hands for letting that happen to his baby.

 The next time Jeongguk opened his eyes, Jimin was shaking him lightly as he kept on saying his name. Though reluctant, Jeongguk forced his eyes to open to find them parked. The first thing he registered was Jimin’s face – his hair was still wet from the rain, but his face was dry, his nose and cheeks tinted red. His face was luminated by bright purple lights coming from the motel sign above. He squinted and noticed it was still dark. He swore it felt like they were driving till sunrise.

 “Uh… where—” God, his mouth tasted terrible. “Where are we?”

 “Good, you’re finally up. I booked us a room. We need to clean ourselves up.”

 “Room?”

 “Yeah.”

 With much difficulty, he managed to drag himself up the stairs with Jimin’s help. Not only his clothes were heavy, but his legs and eyes were refusing to cooperate with him. He wanted to jump from the first floor for being such an embarrassment, but hearing Jimin giggle every time he wobbled was worth the humiliation.

 If Jeongguk could describe their room in one word, it would be: vomit.

 The room Jimin booked them were far from luxurious. The walls were painted gray and above the queen-sized bed hung a mediocre painting of flowers in a vase. The curtains were a terrible shade of green, which reminded Jeongguk of camo pants and TV was small and bulky.

 Jeongguk let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the bed, already planning to jump and lay there forever. Before he could, Jimin stopped him, shattering all dreams of molding one with the bed.

 “You should take a shower. It’ll make you feel better.”

 “But—”

 “We wouldn’t want the bed to be wet, do we?”

 Jeongguk grimaced. “But what about you? How are you gonna sit?”

 “Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you. Go on, then.”

 Usually, Jeongguk loved taking his sweet time in the shower. However, the thought of Jimin waiting while standing outside made guilt gnaw in his chest. He would have gone out after he shampooed his hair, but it took nearly ten minutes for the water to finally be warm. Jimin was right though, the warm shower did make him feel better. Jeongguk wanted to scream at the thought of not brushing his teeth but thankfully, there were a few necessities in the cabinet. A part of him regretted letting himself play under the rain because he did not have any spare clothes back in the truck. Muttering to himself about how careless he was being, he picked them up before pathetically wringing them and hung them on the drying rack. He was extra careful with the jacket, squeezing it gently in comparison to his shirt and underwear.

 “Shit,” Jeongguk hissed when it dawned to him that there was only one robe provided. He stared at his misty reflection on the mirror, hair wet and cheeks rosy, and he felt like a bitch for already clad in the robe.

 He glanced at the opened cabinet, and saw a white towel folded neatly at the corner. He breathed a sigh of relief before walking out of the bathroom, feeling fresh and warm. Jimin was standing by the bed, a remote in his hand while his eyes were glued to the TV. When Jeongguk walked out of the bathroom, he did not hide the excitement in his face.

 “Oh, thank god,” Jimin breathed out before tossing the remote to the bed and dashed to the bathroom. Jeongguk chuckled when he noticed there was a dark spot near the bed where Jimin had stood.

 He thought he would have gone to slumber the moment his head hit the pillow, but sleep did not come easy. With a sigh, he grabbed the remote and pressed the button, hoping to find a channel that would entertain him. In the end, he settled for a rerun of Spongebob Squarepants. It was either that or a horror movie, and he was not feeling horror movie at all.

 Fifteen minutes into Spongebob, Jimin was finally out of the bathroom. And God, Jeongguk wished he was in a deep slumber right now, because Jimin was naked. Technically, he wasn’t as he wrapped a towel around his waist, but Jeongguk’s brain could not help but to scream ‘ALERT!’. It was obvious how gorgeous Jimin was, but with his pink hair dripping, cheeks coloured crimson and exposed skin coated with droplets, Jeongguk was suddenly embarrassed that he was fully naked underneath the bathrobe.

 “That was refreshing,” Jimin grinned before cracking his neck and jumped to the bed.

 Jeongguk found it hard to swallow as his throat was dry as hell. Jimin did not speak again after that, and Jeongguk was afraid his voice might break if he tried to. Hell, Jeongguk did not even dare to breathe when he found the courage to check if Jimin was sleeping. Just as he turned his head, Jimin mirrored his action before asking, his voice so soft that if they were not this close, Jeongguk would’ve thought he was imagining things, “Why tonight?”

 Absentmindedly, Jeongguk pressed on the remote button, shutting the TV off.

 “What?”

 “You mentioned it’s the list of things you have to do before today ends. What’s so special about today?”

 Jeongguk had to will his heartbeat to slow down as he stared into Jimin’s curious eyes. Jeongguk blinked, opening his mouth to speak but the words get caught in his throat. He was not sure if it was because the most gorgeous being to ever walk the Earth was staring at him intensely, or if it was because he could not bring himself to talk about this matter.

 He blamed it on the beer. Maybe he was still drunk, only god knows.

 Maybe he found it easier to talk to a stranger he had spent the entire night with.

 Maybe it was the comfort he felt around said stranger, how Jimin’s eyes were nothing but curiosity, free of malice.

 Or maybe it was the uncertainty of them not seeing each other again after the night ends. The thought made him swallow nervously, his heart shattering into tiny pieces of glasses.

 “It’s the death anniversary of my brother.”

 “Oh.” Was all Jimin could say.

 Jeongguk turned away, his index finger picking on one of the buttons on the remote, but he did not put enough pressure to click on it. Despite how heavy his heart was, he felt a surge of relief flowing through his veins. There was not any regret at all, even though he knew he should have never kept it alone this long.

 “Did he do all those things?”

 “Yeah, he did.”

 Surprised at the sudden warmth enveloping his hand, he glanced to see Jimin’s hand on top of his. He berated his heart for skipping a beat and his cheeks for suddenly feeling warmer than it was supposed to. He prayed to any god listening out there that Jimin would not notice the sudden pink hue visible on his cheeks.

 Somehow, the gesture gave him courage to speak up more, to let out those thoughts that had been haunting him for the past three years ago.

 “He did all these things, you know, living his life to the fullest. I do not understand it at first, why would he risk his life doing such things. Why he would still do it, though he knew our parents would disapprove of it. Of course, there were more things he did, I’m sure of it. It’s… no matter how much I think I know him, it’s impossible for me to know all of him.”

 “Oh, Jeongguk,” Jimin murmured, shifting himself closer, hand never leaving Jeongguk’s.

 Jeongguk did not realize how shaky his breathing was, how he tried so hard to blink the tears away until he spoke again, “It was a hit and run, Jimin. It was—” he swallowed before sniffing, “—, how could someone leave a person to bleed out just like that?”

 “My sweet, sweet, darling,” Jimin whispered when Jeongguk began sobbing.

 There was no room for embarrassment as his head was filled with memories of his late brother. He let Jimin’s hand gently push his head to rest on Jimin’s shoulder as Jimin’s arm wrapped around him. Jeongguk did not know it was possible to feel such tremendous pain even after years it happened. All the sadness he repressed for years finally spilled in front of a stranger he met just hours ago. A stranger who was willing to be there for him every step of their so-called adventure.

 “I know it’s hard, darlin’, but you’re with me now, aren’t you?”

 Jimin’s voice was gentle, soothing even, as he caressed Jeongguk’s hair. He felt droplets of water dripping to his cheek from Jimin’s hair, but he could not bring himself to care when his face was drenched with his own tears. He let them fall freely, down to his fisted hands, Jimin’s shoulder and chest.

 “I will never let anything hurt you while I’m here.”

 Jimin continued to whisper sweet reassurances in his ear, making him feel as if he was embraced with all the kindness and gentleness in the world. He eventually calmed down a few minutes after bawling his eyes out, impressed that he could show a weak side of him that he hated to another being. Moreover, a stranger.

 “You alright, love?”

 “A bit.”

  “Let’s sleep, shall we? Only an hour after sunrise, but it’s not tomorrow until we close our eyes,” Jimin murmured against his head before planting a kiss.

 The gesture was simple, yet it made Jeongguk’s heart swell twice its size. He did not know it was possible to be so far away from home, yet feel such comfort in the arms of a man he had just met.

 “We’ll be shivering if we sleep like this,” Jimin huffed, and when Jeongguk felt Jimin’s hand leaving his ear, Jeongguk made a move to held Jimin tighter.

 Jimin did not speak after that, understood completely that Jeongguk needed him here. With a smile, he gently rested his head against Jeongguk, his hand finding its way to caress Jeongguk’s clothed arm. Jeongguk was not sure how long they stayed like that, the only sound he could hear was Jimin softly humming, a lullaby he fell asleep to.

 Before the sun rose, for the first time since his brother was gone, Jeongguk dreamt of Junghyun.

       Jeongguk woke up to the sound of a loud whirring. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he blearily turned his body towards the source to find Jimin was crouching on the floor next to him with a hand dryer in his hand. Belatedly, he realized that he had been lying on a pillow, and wondered how Jimin was able to move him without waking him up.

 “Ji…min?”

 “Oh.” Jimin was facing him now as he turned the hand dryer off. Jeongguk noticed he was still naked from the torso up, but he was wearing his jeans now. “You’re awake.”

 Jeongguk blinked, his lower lips jutting in annoyance as his eyes tried to adjust to the harsh sunlight. “What are you—”

 “Drying our clothes,” Jimin answered with a grin as he waved the hand dryer.

 Jeongguk glanced on the carpeted floor and grimaced when the memory of him letting Junghyun’s favourite jacket drenched in rain water came across his mind. Their clothes were not as wet as before, but even from where he was, Jeongguk could tell that they needed more than a motel hand dryer.

 Jeongguk contemplated in sleeping again, but sleep refused to come to him no matter how hard he tried to close his eyes. With a sigh, he managed to drag his feet to the bathroom and take a warm shower to wake himself up.

     The water stayed cold the whole freaking time. It was nearly driving Jeongguk crazy. When he went out of the bathroom, Jimin was already dressed in his shirt, but his glittered jacket was still on the floor. Jeongguk sat on the bed and watched Jimin desperately trying to dry his jacket.

 “Your clothes are already dry, by the way.”

 “Thanks. And, uh, sorry for the trouble.”

 “No worries,” Jimin grinned. “Wouldn’t wanna wake you up.”

 Jeongguk grabbed his clothes and went back inside of the bathroom to dress himself. Once he was done, he walked back to where he was and sat behind Jimin, who was on the floor. They sat in silence for another half and hour or so, with Jeongguk just staring outside of the window. The clouds gliding against the vast blue sky reminded him that it was a new day, that he was still here with a new friend beside him. When Jimin decided that they were all dry, he brought Jeongguk downstairs to grab breakfast.

 Hearing the word ‘breakfast’ made Jeongguk think of scrambled eggs and warm toast, but instead, he was staring at the colourful packages of snacks inside the vending machine. It almost felt as if he was living a silly dream he had when he was a kid; to have candies for breakfast.

 Jimin inserted a few coins before pressing the buttons, while Jeongguk was still deciding which one he wanted. Before he could even open up his mouth and point at the Kit Kat, Jimin had already picked up his snacks and shoved a Kit Kat against Jeongguk’s chest.

 Dumbfounded, he stared at it, Jimin’s hand still on his chest before he took the chocolate and murmured a “thanks”.

 “You think too much,” Jimin said as he unwrapped his candy bar.

 “I can’t choose,” Jeongguk muttered, turning the Kit Kat around to investigate the expiration date. “I mean, there are a lot of options there! The Kinder Bueno seems like a good choice, but I’m not feeling cream, you know? Snickers too, but I don’t like peanut and nougat.”

 Jimin chuckled, clearly endeared at how Jeongguk was ready to go on a debate mood over candy bars. “Well, you chose me out of all the people in the club to bring to your little adventure. I think that’s impressive and a wise choice.”

 Jeongguk blinked, the sudden realization made him stop in his tracks while Jimin continued walking, too absorbed in his snack to notice Jeongguk was no longer beside him. He only stared at the back of Jimin’s head, the bubblegum floof bouncing slightly with every step he took.

 Jimin was right. He was not thinking at all when he had invited Jimin, and he certainly did not have any remorse about his questionable choice, not even a twinge of regret even after he humiliated himself in front of Jimin.

 When he realized Jeongguk was not where he was, Jimin turned around, Kit Kat in between his teeth to look back to Jeongguk.

 “Shall we go now?”

       “Have I mentioned that I haven’t driven a stick before?”

 Jeongguk took a glance on Jimin for a second before focusing his eyes back on the road. There were more cars in the morning compared to the night before.

 “Not until I was drunk, I think.”

 Jimin laughed, a sweet sound that reminded him of gum drops.

 “Well, to tell you the truth, I don’t have a license yet, so…”

 “Jimin!” Jeongguk gasped. Alright, he took it back. Maybe he did have one regret.

 “What? We’ve arrived safely, haven’t we? It’s not like I have never driven before! Besides, we’re all alright now, aren’t we?”

 “Oh really?” Jeongguk’s voice was laced with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes. “I feel so safe now, thank you for the clarification!”

 Jimin let out another laugh, and Jeongguk find the sound to be comforting. He could listen to Jimin’s laughter all day.

     “Oh man, Jeongguk… really?” Jimin moaned when Jeongguk parked at the exact same spot during their first visit to the convenience store.

 “I don’t wanna be thrown to jail when they find us.”

 “Okay, fine,” Jimin huffed, uncrossing his arms rather petulantly. “But I’m not gonna pay.”

 Jeongguk was grateful that they were not going to prison despite having to listen to the manager yelling at the both of them. While Jeongguk had his hung down in remorse, Jimin only stared at the man, as if to challenge him to yell even louder. Despite profusely bowing and apologizing, the manager still threatened to call the police on them – a proof that the cashier last night did not manage to get Jeongguk’s plate license and the cameras outside were, indeed, not working.

 Jeongguk paid for – according to the manager – the “damage” they have caused, although nothing was broken at all. Jeongguk was certain that he had paid for more than he had stolen, but the only thing running in his mind was to get out of there quick.

 “God, you’re such a sweet kid, you know that?” Jimin grumbled, the words coming out of his mouth was dripping with venom, as if being a sweet kid was a crime.

 Jeongguk only shrugged nonchalantly at the compliment though the reddening of the tips of his ears contradict his attitude.

 “At least, we won’t be fugitives for stealing chocolate sticks.”

 At his comment, Jimin laughed.

      “So, this is it, huh?”

 Even without looking at Jimin, Jeongguk could hear the smile in his voice.

 The sky was filled with soft lilac and coral hues as the sun was approaching the horizon. The colour of the ocean reminded Jeongguk of a painting; the tangerine was so vibrant, he could almost taste the sweetness.

 They were back at their town, stopping at the beach to mark the end of their little adventure. Jeongguk was against standing on top of cars, but he made an exception this time. The both of them had their butts on the hood of the truck; Jeongguk’s legs were dangling while Jimin pulled his knees to his chest.

 “This is it,” Jeongguk echoed back, hissing internally at how brittle his voice was. “But, hey, we can still be friends, can’t we?”

 “’Course we can, darlin’,” Jimin chuckled.

 Jeongguk smiled.

 “Might be awhile ‘til we see each other again, though.”

 Jeongguk would be lying if he said he did not feel a pang in his chest. “What do you mean?”

 Looking at Jimin’s sideway during the sunset made his heart felt as if he was going on a rollercoaster ride; the way his lips pouted, the way the peach glow of the setting sun spilled across his feature, almost matching with the colour of his hair and how his eyes softened as they were fixed on the sky. Jeongguk would describe it as a spiritual experiment, though one could argue he was merely exaggerating.

 “I’ll be away for a while. Studying abroad for a year for my next semester. I had to…” Jimin swallowed. “I had to choose somewhere far from here.”

 Realization dawned on him that they did not know each other that well. Yeah, they shared stories and secrets, but what did he really know about Jimin?

 “Oh.”

 Jeongguk stopped moving his legs, his arms rigid next to him as he clutched on the edge of the truck’s hood and his lips were pressed tight.

 They were not aware of it, but they were thinking of the same thing; that their adventure would just be a memory to both of them, that it was not certain if they could even be in each other’s presence after it ended.

 Would Jeongguk have invited Jimin, wasted his time with a stranger, if he had known they were not going to be meeting each other again?

 Would Jimin even talk to Jeongguk, consider to befriend Jeongguk, if they had never gone on their adventure?

 Would they even remember each other after today?

 If Jeongguk could frame and relive a memory, it would be this one. Just them sitting in silence, admiring the sunset across of them. For now, he let himself believe that the sun would not approach its resting place. For now, he let himself believe that there was only the both of them in this world; it was them against the cruel universe.

      He was met with angry stare and a scolding of a lifetime when he arrived back home. Never in his life he would ever think he would get yelled at twice in the same day, but there he was, cowering with his head low while his mother’s voice raised by the second. His father only shook his head, his loud ‘tsk’-ed ringing inside Jeongguk’s ears. Though, he felt a wee bit thankful to his father for his futile attempt to calm his mother.

 The bucket list cost him five months of being grounded, with the addition of his keys being taken from him. It also meant that he was not allowed to ride with his friends, making him the loser of the group whom still had his mother driving him to the university.

 He entered the university on the same semester when Jimin was sent abroad. Jimin was not lying when he said he was a model student, when Jeongguk saw a few of photos of him holding gold medals in last year’s photobook.

 After months of being grounded, the first place he drove to was the beach. Watching the sunset disappearing from the horizon brought back memories of Jimin, memories he found himself not being able to let go. He was on top of the hood of the truck that was finally his, witnessing how the colour of the sky was changing, never constant, and despite the solitude, he had never felt more comfortable alone.

 He was still working at the jeans store, though only part time as he was finally in university.

 During the summer, however, he decided to take the full-time shift, not wanting to be cooped all day inside his house. He was folding the jeans, muttering to himself at how some customers were being irresponsible for not putting back the jeans where it was, when he heard the bell chimed.

 What followed next was a familiar saccharine voice. “Excuse me?”

 Jeongguk froze in his spot, wondering whether if his ears were defying him. A part of him was convinced that he was wrong, not amused at himself for not being able to let a one-year-old memory go while a bigger part of him just knew that he was right, that he could still recognize that voice anywhere.

 When Jeongguk faced the owner of the voice, his bubblegum hair was coloured black; the contrast made his skin paler than he remembered and cheeks still rosy as ever. Jimin’s lips stretched into a grin at the sight of Jeongguk’s eyes widening, and Jeongguk could see the sparkles in Jimin’s eyes, still brighter than the stars in the night sky.

 “I’m looking for a companion for an adventure tonight,” he said, and Jeongguk felt laughter bubbling in his chest, making his way to his throat at the memories that were flooding back like tidal waves. “You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.”

 Jeongguk let out a laugh; airy and soft. He was mortified at how he had invited Jimin a year ago, but the mortification was overshadowed by happiness that were engulfing his heart, threatening to squeeze it until it explodes.

 Somewhere at the back of his consciousness, Jeongguk understood what a sight he was making now. He could not contain the excitement he was feeling, and he could only hope that Jimin could not hear how loud his heart was beating right now. Jimin’s smile only grew more pronounced, but at the same time remain just as affectionate.

 “It would be my pleasure, Jimin-ssi.”

[sadoeuphemist]

This one is dedicated to all the Brits out there.

So, there’s a man crawling through the arctic.

He was on a trip around the world, had been, for years. In his jacket, coiled up next to his breast, was a rattlesnake named Sammy, and as one last favour to a friend he was showing Sammy all there was to see in the big wide world. They’d been to every country. Dived beneath the sea, spelunked deep beneath the earth. And now, they were touring through the arctic. They’d witnessed dazzling white glaciers against a sea that shone a sapphire blue, they’d stood beneath the dancing of the Northern Lights, they’d trekked across the endless plains of snow in what seemed an eternal sunset, the world frozen in all the facets of its beauty.

And now they were alone, and stranded, and it was very cold, and it seemed like they were both going to die.

They’d gone off the beaten path, rented a specialized 4x4 and stocked up on supplies and driven off into the tundra on their own. They’d been going fine. The man, Jack, was real careful at the wheel, having learned from hard experience. Then, clean out of nowhere, a storm had kicked up, howling and sleeting snow across the windshield. Jack had slowed to a near-crawl, squinting to try and see anything through that wall of white, and then something massive had ploughed into the side of the truck.

The 4x4 had been flung end over end, Jack and Sammy and all their supplies rattling around inside, and the thing outside was shrieking malevolently, its howls mixing with the wind, something rending at the metal. Jack had clutched Sammy to his chest, from his cramped position managed to kick open the door, and clambered out into the raging snow. He’d crawled, on hands and knees, stumbled, looked behind him, scooted backwards on his butt, almost frozen in horror.

The thing that had attacked them hadn’t come out of the storm. It was the storm. They could barely make out the outline of the thing, all ice and shards and howls and loathing, a miserable grey creature maybe eight feet tall and pummelling at the overturned truck with two massive lumpy arms. Clouds of smoke or steam were billowing from the truck’s hood, and Jack could see flickers of flame rising from the metal - the gas tank, or maybe the portable stove they had been carrying. The creature seemed to love the flame, curling itself around it possessively, and through the smoke and snow Jack could see that flickering orange glow that sent an odd surge of pity through him, that tiny spot of warmth and light gasping and dying out and struggling futilely to survive.

Sammy spoke up, shivering from inside the parka so that his rattles sounded. “I - I think we should get going while it’s distracted.” 

“R-right,” mumbled Jack, and stumbled to his feet and ran.

He ran like mad, feet flying over the permafrost, watching his breath fog up in front of his face in great clouds. When he finally stumbled, he looked behind him and the truck and the monster were nowhere to be seen. All around them stretched an undifferentiated expanse of white.

Jack felt his parka pockets. “Fuck. All the equipment - it’s back at the truck.” He looked up into the melancholy twilight and felt helpless laughter overtake him. It was all so familiar, this situation, except now he was even less equipped than before. “Shoulda seen it coming. Hahaha! Figures, right?”

“It’s not so bad,” Sammy said. “You still know the direction the truck’s in, right? All we need to do is -” Sammy shuddered in what seemed like a yawn. “Sorry. It’s just so cold out here. Hard to - hard to think ... “

“That’s right, you’re cold-blooded, aren’t you?” Jack tightened his arms over his parka, pressing Sammy closer to him. “It’ll be all right.” He took a breath, letting the hysteria ebb away. All they needed to do was circle back around, make sure that the whatever it was had left. They had a radio back at the truck, they could call for help, and...

He felt his blood run cold. There, on the horizon, he could see the first few flurries of snow drifting across an otherwise calm plain. In the perpetual dim twilight of the Arctic Circle he felt he could see it almost perfectly. It wasn’t a thing, so much as a silhouette, the shadow where a thing should have been. Eight feet of greyness, of misery, of numbing empty hopelessness that ate all warmth, all light. It shambled. It shrieked. And it was moving inerrantly towards them.

“Jack?” Sammy mumbled sleepily.

“We have to keep moving,” Jack said.

The thing hounded them, harried them across the snowy tundra. It was not fast, but it was implacable. Every time Jack tried to stop a moment to catch his breath, he would feel the tendrils of it nipping at the exposed flesh of his nose, trying to freeze the fluid in his eyes. And God, it was cold. He could feel the great clouds of his breath crystallizing on his eyelashes. His face was numb. His fingers. His toes. He felt like he was stumbling along on wooden feet. Inside his parka he was sweating, he felt like the inside of his coat was a sauna from his exertions, and then the sweat touched the cold air and froze, biting into him, until he might as well have been in an ice bath. With each step he watched, as if in slow motion, the fall of countless glittering shards of ice.

“I’m suh-s-s-sorry,” he gasped out, on his hands and knees now, all too aware of the coiled body next to his heart. His body had been altered, long ago, to be in perpetual perfect health, but even the perfect human form could not withstand the brutality of the elements, woefully underprepared, in a desperate chase for his life. He thought of the desert, of the old rattler who would never see their return, of the promise he had not been able to keep, of all the obligations and responsibilities and burdens tying people to one another, to their lives, of the endless chain of promises that would die here with them, remain forever unfulfilled. “I - I f-f-f-failed,” he said. “So s-s-sorry.” He could feel the tears freezing on his cheeks. “I j-just wish I - I c-c-could have - k-kept you suh-s-safe ...”

And then there were two pinpricks next to his heart, and Jack felt a sudden warmth flow through him, and he was on his feet again, the sensation returning in a rush to his numbed fingers and toes. “Sammy?” he said.

“I - A little natural antifreeze for your blood,” Sammy said weakly. Jack could feel him withdrawing his fangs, the miraculous venom administered. “Little - little trick dad taught me.”

“Oh, my God,” Jack gasped, cupping his arm around his chest. “Sammy, you - How did you - I didn’t know you could -”

“F-first one’s free, remember?” Sammy said.

Jack burst out into laughter. He felt warm now, a delicious warmth radiating out of him, the bite marks on his chest burning like hot coals. He brushed the ice crystals off his face, watched them melt on him like dew. “You clever little bastard! I had no idea! All this time you could -”

“Don’t - don’t get used to it,” Sammy cut in. “Not sure how long that’s going to last. Just enough to keep us going. A little while longer. It’s all I could - I could manage ...”

“Oh.” Jack surveyed their surroundings. The creature was nowhere to be seen. They had lost it, perhaps, or it had given up the chase as his body heat had been leached away by the cold. His newfound warmth suddenly felt reckless on him, like a delicious bit of prey wafting off its scent. Who knew what would come hunting. He had completely lost track of the location of their truck by now, and all the snowy landscape was unfamiliar. “So. We’re utterly lost, stranded out in the arctic, no supplies other than what I had in my pockets, and there’s this crazy snowbeast out there hunting for us. What now?”

He felt something smooth wriggle up against him, and then Sammy’s small scaly head peek out from his parka, eyes turned upward to the perpetual twilight of the sky. “We keep going where we were headed before, I guess,” he said in his small voice.

“We follow the stars.”

  They trudged along, the supernatural heat of the venom still coursing through Jack’s veins. The magic seemed to have taken a lot out of Sammy, and despite Jack’s warmth he was still sluggish, and had little to offer. Jack navigated for the both of them. Already he could feel the numbness creeping back into his extremities, prodding into him, looking for the path of least resistance, and he furiously clenched his fingers into fists to try and keep the sensation in them. He tried to remember the desert, all those years ago, the wandering path he had taken, and looking up at the sky he felt that old hallucinatory atmosphere descend on him, walking the thin line between life and death, between abandonment and survival. He imagined a dark plinth, and in his mind imbued it with a spiritual magnetism. Compass north, leading him blindly through the dark.

“God loves children and drunkards and fools,” he said to himself, and in his mouth it came out as prayer. 

He walked, the cold creeping in, his feet growing numb again. He had to beat the sensation back into his cheeks, slap his gloved fingers against his thigh just to feel a jolt of sensation. Up he hiked a snow bank to get a better view, and in the distance the sky seemed to be reflected in the ground. Jack squinted, trying to get a better view, and ahead he seemed to see ice, or not ice but crystal, jutting out blackly from the snow. He started running, half-running, stumbling. “Sammy!” he whispered, patting himself in the chest. “Sammy! Look! Do you see it?”

Sammy only gave a low moan and shifted weakly, and did not respond.

Jack kept running, almost tilting unbalanced through the snow, and the snow gave out from under him and he fell, rolling down the hill, the sky and the snow and the sky and the snow again, black - white - black - white, until the two seemed to meld together indistinguishably. He rolled to a stop and tried to get up, and could not tell up from down. He was so terribly cold again, or perhaps warm, and after a while he stopped trying to get up and just flopped down where the snow took him. It did not matter, he thought dreamily. The black caverns of ice were a hallucination. Or, if they were not, perhaps the snow and the cold were the hallucination. Perhaps he was still in that desert. Perhaps he had never left. Perhaps the last few years had been nothing but the hallucination of a man baking to death under the desert sun. He smiled at that with cracked lips. At least then he would be warm, so terribly, wonderfully warm....

And then the sky above him blazed, and even against his breast Sammy writhed to life, and Jack found himself staring into the burning eye of God.

He screamed, tried futilely to shield himself from the light. No, it was burning, burning! All around him the snow sizzled and melted away. And this was real heat as opposed to the warmth of Sammy’s venom, an awful flame that sparked the nerves in his fingers and toes to life and made them cry out in agony. It was the sun, forged like a blade, a burning sword, the edge of a wheel that rolled through the sky and cut through the day, and Jack found himself hauled to his feet.

“As always,” came a resounding voice. “God has provided.” And then, as if speaking straight to him, in a lower register, burnished with a false compassion: “You are fortunate in this. Your death shall serve a higher duty.”

The awful flame was lowered and quenched, and Jack blinked back the whiteness. No, the flame was gone, the licking tongues of heat were gone, and yet the radiance remained. He was staring at a winged thing, at eyes that stared back, at a face that was many faces, at wheels within wheels.

He was looking at an angel. 

The angel ducked underneath, carried him under one arm (wing?) into the icy caverns, great black walls that watched him in reflection. “H - hey!” Jack gasped out, trying to regain his senses. The sudden burst of flame had seared but hardly thawed him, and all his nerves sang in the agony between extremes. “You - you’re an angel! And we - we came here because -” Because what? Because what?! He forced himself to think, brought the thought up from the bottom of a deep dark chasm. “The lever! We know about the lever!”

The angel barely responded, shifted in a small movement that might have been irritation. “You are not the first to know,” it said at last, eyes glancing down. “And if you came here knowingly, then God has provided. And you are a willing sacrifice in this.”

“S-sacrifice?” Jack made a spasmodic attempt at freedom in the angel’s grip. His limbs were all clumsy, puppeted wooden limbs, if wood could somehow feel agony. “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about! We - we came here to see! To see if there was anyone else!” A great rush of emotion overtook him. “You’re not alone! You don’t have to be alone!”

He felt the weight of the angel’s scorn. “You are delusional,” it said. “Your journey here has left you bereft of your senses.”

“No! No, I know about everything! We can help you! We can help!”

The black walls gleamed ichor-slick, hungry. The passages down the cavern seemed narrower and narrower, and an awful energy pulsed through them, as if they were descending into the bowels of some dark rapacious thing. “You know nothing,” the angel intoned. “You speak of ‘we’, and yet you have come alone.” It regarded him coldly with dozens of pairs of eyes. “Who is this ‘we’, hmm? Who is this companion you imagine with you? Do you imagine yourself wiser than me?” It laughed cruelly. “Do you imagine yourself spoken to by God?” 

Jack tried to speak, and felt something near his heart uncoil, ease past the lump in his throat, and then Sammy’s head slithered out of his parka, tongue flickering to taste the air. “Oh, hey,” Sammy said, looking up at the angel.

The angel blinked with dozens of eyes. “Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” it said. “Nate had a kid?”

 The angel - whose name was Uriel - took them to a little cavern off the side of one of the passages, where Jack told the whole story. About how he had met Nate the Snake and become bound to him, about how Nate had grown old and finally wanted to die, about how Sammy was to serve as his replacement, and how he was taking the kid on a tour of the world before Sammy would be bound to his duty forever. “So, Nate’s finally found a way out,” muttered Uriel, glancing over at the young snake. “He’d been so long at it, I wouldn’t have thought such a thing was possible.”

“So ... how did you know my father?” Sammy asked meekly. “He - he never mentioned you.” 

“He didn’t, did he?” Uriel mused. “Of course not. How long’s it been? In the end, he’s only a snake, after all, crawling on his belly through the dust. It wears away at a soul, that sort of mortal existence, while I remain divine. No surprise he’s gone senile, barely able to remember a thing.”

Sammy hesitated, a dozen questions flickering on the tip of his tongue, and then he shrank back into his coils again, cowed by Uriel’s easy dismissiveness.

Jack looked over at him, concerned. Sammy had chimed in now and again in the telling of the story, but had otherwise stayed quiet. Jack clenched his fingers again. The sensation had gradually returned with a prickling discomfort - he was sure he could feel ice crystals slowly dissolving in his flesh - but his fingers showed no signs of frostbite, perhaps thanks to the power of Sammy’s venom. The cavern was much warmer than the outside, but it wasn’t quite warm - there was an uneasy chill set through it, just like the light. There was no visible source of light that he could see, but the ice walls themselves seemed to be painted with a grudging, just-barely adequate illumination.

“Hey!” Jack cut in. “You think you could -” He glanced down at the scabbard by the angel’s side. “That was a flaming sword you were waving around out there, right?” Uriel gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I get the reference. My little buddy here’s cold-blooded, so not exactly an inviting atmosphere in here. You think you could take that sword of yours out, maybe warm us up a bit?” And get a fire roaring, he thought to himself, anything to drive away the gloom.

Uriel shook his heads, a silent chorus of disapproval. “I’d rather not. The heat of the flame, if left exposed for too long - well, it tends to attract things in here. And I doubt you’d like what it calls down.”

“The - the whatever it was that attacked us,” Sammy said, nudging Jack in the side. “It was eating the fire!”

“Yeah! Big guy, eight feet tall, the feeling of that awful sapping deathly cold like you’re never going to be warm again?” Uriel nodded. Jack clutched his arms around himself instinctively and shivered. “What was that thing, anyway?”

Uriel shrugged, which with all those heads was a small upheaval. “It is The Cold. I know no other name for it.” 

“But what is it?” Jack insisted. “Where’d it come from?”

“It is one of God’s creations, like all things,” Uriel replied. “Where does anything come from? It roams in these icy wastes, comes in drifts and drafts inside these caverns...” He waved a hand. “It doesn’t bother me. I don’t have the sort of animal heat it’s after. But taking out this flame for anything more than a few seconds, it’ll come loping along hungry and - trust me, it’s not worth it.” 

“So what, that’s your answer?” Jack said. He wasn’t even that cold anymore, but Uriel’s nonchalance irritated him nonetheless. “God? God wills it? Why would God ever create something as horrible as that?”

“It may not have been horrible at the moment of its creation,” said Uriel. Distantly, his eyes rose up to gaze at the black ice. Or, not black itself, Jack realized, staring upwards, but reflecting something black in its core. “But sometimes things grow bitter in their abandonment. It is no danger to me. Nothing in the world can harm me. I vanquish it, drive it off. But it reforms itself, returns, lies in wait. Why take the trouble?” He snapped back to attention, eyes focusing like sunlight through a lens. “But back to your story. You said you had come to see me, that you knew about the lever.” 

“Oh yeah, right,” mumbled Jack, fumbling in one of his pockets for the pictures he had taken. “We were traveling the world, right? And then in Greenland we came across this account by this woman, Elizabeth Hortense Bittle. An American explorer and theosophist.” He held his phone out to Uriel. Of course, it was useless for communication way up here, but he’d kept his phone with him as a recording of everything they’d experienced on their travels.

An old picture of Elizabeth Bittle looked out of the phone, a woman with quaint little gold-rimmed glasses and her hair pulled pack into a bun. Uriel regarded the glowing screen without curiosity. Jack swiped to the next picture, pictures they’d taken of the little leather-bound notebook in the museum, in her neat little script. “She’d collected a bunch of stories about a mystical lever that lay somewhere in the Arctic Circle.” He exchanged glances with Sammy. “A lever that could destroy the world.”

“I wasn’t sure about it,” Sammy said quietly. “Like, maybe she was just confused? I mean, I’d seen the world, I wanted to go back home and take up my duty already - “

“A worthy cause,” Uriel interjected quietly.

“- but Jack convinced me that if it did exist, if there was a second lever, then maybe we could - we could learn something, maybe there was another way, so that no one would have to be bound ...” 

“It had to be a second lever,” Jack cut in, “because Elizabeth Bittle also wrote about ours!” He swiped to a different page of the notebook. “See? ‘... I have heard tell of a second lever, somewhere in the desert’! So she’d heard of ours, but unlike this one, she never got a clear idea of where it was supposed to be located. Rumours passed around by an esoteric Kabbalist sect.” He flicked through the various pages for a minute. “I’m not sure how she heard about ours to begin with, Nate made me swear that whole secrecy oath ... Although maybe the reason it was so comprehensive was that someone, years and years before, had let something slip ...?

“Anyway.” He shook his head. “Bittle gets really into the idea of these magical levers all across the world, right? She - You know the saying, Give me a lever and somewhere to stand, and I will move the world? She thought, why stop at one? In her notebooks she develops this whole mystical system where the world is moved by a series of levers - one for Good, one for Evil, one for Peace, one for War ... the whole world, balanced around a system of leverages. And if you could just pull the right lever, suddenly, the world makes sense! Everything’s perfected, just shifted ever so slightly in one direction! Everything falls right into place!”

He paused, looking up for a reaction, and was met only with the wall of Uriel’s impassive gaze. “And, uh, that’s all we know about it,” he finished lamely. “Bittle set out on an expedition, searching for this lever at the North Pole, but the expedition never returned. She was presumed dead ...” He petered off. “I, uh, I don’t suppose you ever met her?”

“Oh,” said Uriel. “I have.”

“Oh!” said Jack.

“But she was quite wrong,” Uriel said softly, and this time his voice seemed to reverberate around the cavern walls. Jack and Sammy glanced around. The blackness seemed to be trembling, keening. “There is no great system of levers scattered around the world. Only ours two. Only ever two.”

“Two?” said Jack. He blinked hard. The eerie atmosphere of the cave system was getting to him. He could look down at his fingers in front of him and then they would blur around the edges and then he wasn’t sure how well he had seen them at all. He had the sudden irrational sensation that there was not actually warmth in the cave, or light - it had just shaped itself to pacify him, lure him into a false sense of safety as he wandered deeper into the cold and into the dark.

“Wait a minute,” he said, trying to think. “We came from Eden. And if you’re the -” He nodded at the scabbard by Uriel’s side. “The angel guarding the entrance, Mister flaming sword. So how are there two of them.” He narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing all the way up here?”

“Ah, the garden,” Uriel sighed. “What a short-sighted, mortal way of imagining it, that old, dead Eden must be bound to a single spot on the surface of the world.” The eyes glinted with amusement. “What did you do, to find old Nate, crawling out in that desert? What did you do, to get here?”

“I ...” Jack looked down at hands that should’ve been blackened and rotting, lying dark in the grave. “I ...”

“Let paradise wither and die,” said Uriel. “The husk of the birthplace that you came from. Your heritage, denied. What’s left?”

“I … I died,” Jack said softly.

Uriel made a velvet sound in his many throats, like a purr.

“What’s going on?” Jack said. He felt unsteady. The ground seemed to be swaying under him, liquid, and the ice seemed to be calling out, vibrating at a frequency to raise gooseflesh on skin. He looked up at Uriel. “What’s going on here?”

“What happened to Miss Bittle?” Sammy said softly. “What did you do to her?”

“Two levers,” Uriel said, ignoring them both. “One at the beginning of Creation. And one at its End.” 

He rose, wings spreading, countless countless eyes staring, shifting, tremoring like the ice, almost imperceptible vibrations shifting through the angel’s body like foreshocks, portending a great upheaval. His voice dropped to match the hum of the ice, the hungry keening call of it, and both Jack and Sammy shrank away. “You’ve told me all about your lever. Now, would you like to see mine?”

 The path down to the lever was precarious, an ice-slick descent that Jack had to navigate inch by inch, his boots slanted sideways to better grip the ice, Sammy coiled around his neck. He kept glancing up at Uriel, who floated just ahead of them on his many wings, heedless of them. They inched down, down, lower down, into a pit that seemed to recede into the depths of the earth. High above, stalactites glinted like the knifepoints of stars. And at the bottom of the pit a long thin rod jutted out of the ground.

It was a gleaming black in contrast to Nate’s plain white, a slick jet black that seemed hungry, greedy, soaking in the light. On the plinth, instead of a tree there was carved a rune that neither Jack nor Sammy recognized, sloping, curving gutters cut into the stone that seemed to all flow to its centre, to the base of the lever itself.

“It’s like a labyrinth,” Sammy whispered. Jack slid down the last few feet, caught himself, finally stood again on level ground.

“The End of the World,” Uriel said, floating to move behind the angle of his lever. In the dim light it seemed to dance and twitch, seeming to lunge forward of its own account half an inch, and Jack started as if to grab it. “Oh, it does that,” Uriel said, smiling. “Nasty little thing. Almost has a mind of its own.”

“No ...” Jack muttered. The pit walls towered up above them. “No, this isn’t right ...”

“Why not?” said Uriel pleasantly. “Are you privy to the mind of God? Did you set the stars in their places in the heavens? Have you tamed Behemoth, put a hook through Leviathan’s lip? Hm? Hmmm? You think you know what it’s like, guarding your precious little lever! Oh boo-hoo, poor you, you’ve been so isolated and alone!” His mocking voice echoed. “No one but an endless stream of co-guardians to keep Old Nate company!” His voice sharpened into a scream. “You know what I’ve had to do?! Do you know what MY duty is?!”

The black lever gave a growl, its gears interlocking beneath the surface. It was the jutting angle of the hand of a clock.

“It’s moving on its own,” Jack said.

“Oh, yes,” Uriel said. “It wants to be pulled. Of course it does. End of the world, generations and generations overdue. Inches forward, ticking down inevitably towards the end of everything! Oh, I’ve tried! I’ve tried to hold it back! I’ve piled rocks, tried to bury it, tried to chain it back -”

“And by the next day, all of that would disappear,” Jack said.

“But of course, there’s only ever one thing that works,” said Uriel, his voice suddenly a deadly calm. “Only one thing that can convince God to stave off the end of the world just for a little while longer.”

“Sacrifice,” whispered Sammy. His eyes darted down to the runes, to the gutters etched into the stone. “Blood.”

Uriel moved aside, and in a corner of the chamber they saw bones, clothes, scraps of fur preserved by the cold, and atop the pile the glint of a pair of quaint little gold-rimmed glasses. 

“Blood,” Uriel said.

“No, no, no -” Jack stammered, backing away. “This is crazy! You didn’t need to kill her! You could’ve - She could have helped you! Got you more animals! Fresh meat!” 

“Oh, but you haven’t been listening,” Uriel said silkily. His hand came out to stroke the black sheen of the lever and it responded to his touch, like a slavering beast anticipating a meal. Its invisible gears whined. “We don’t work by the same rules! I’m not permitted confidants! You understand, don’t you? Don’t you!” His eyes honed in on Sammy, and then flickered briefly back to Jack. “Humans can’t save the world! They can only help destroy it!”

“I - I - My dad said something about this, maybe,” Sammy whimpered, anxiety growing in his lidless eyes. “About levers. I - I don’t know! I was just a little kid! He never expected me to be here!”

“And they are destroying it,” Uriel went on. “For centuries, for millennia, my duty was easy. Oh, yes, for millennia the lever called to me and cursed at me and whispered to me in the dark, oh yeessss, it told me it was the fulfilment of all things! But the game was plentiful, and the hunting was easy, and even in my small sphere of influence I could bring back plenty of sacrifices to sate its endless thirst for blood! But it has grown warmer! And the game has grown scarce! And in the bits and whispers I can scrounge up at this forsaken corner of the world I know the truth!”

The wings all fanned out, an inverted panopticon of eyes. His voice dropped to a hiss. “Humans have failed their role as stewards. For all the blood I have shed here, for all the countless, countless deaths. And yet they bring it on. And yet they are hastening it to an end.”

Jack took another step back, glancing back up the perilous slope, and beyond that the maze of twisting turning passages Uriel had led them down, jagged and black and hungry like knives. 

“Oh, don’t try to run,” Uriel said calmly. “I’m an angel! I can fly! And whatever Nate might have done to you, you’re still only human. Human, at best.”

“Okay,” Jack said evenly, holding up his hands. He couldn’t take his eyes off the surface of the plinth, the black floor of an abattoir. “But it wasn’t Miss Bittle that did that. People that come all the way up to the North Pole, they’re the people that actually appreciate it, you know that! She just wanted to make the world a better place, in her own fantastical way! She didn’t deserve to die!”

“It’s not about deserves!” Uriel shrieked, and this time the cavern shrieked with him, the blackness of the lever reflected endlessly through it. “Haven’t I told you that?! It’s about the lever! It’s about holding back the end of an unworthy world for just one day longer!” All of a sudden the eyes were brimming with tears, like stars poised above the Earth. “What would you have me do? Let the lever be pulled? Let all of Creation die?” 

The echoes of his outburst sank into the room and quietly died. In the awful ensuing silence, Sammy spoke.

“But we’re here now,” he offered, his voice trembling first and then growing more urgent as he talked. “That’s why we came! Because - because it doesn’t matter what rules you have, or who you’re allowed to trust! Because me and my dad and Jack here were a thousand miles away, just as alone, not being able to trust anyone else! And guess what? We found each other!”

“We can help you,” Jack said. “We can. Look, you don’t know what I’ve done for Nate. There’s the internet, there’s a whole world I can help you communicate with! And I can arrange for more animals, more sacrifices, anything. Whatever you want -”

“No,” said Uriel in a trembling voice. “No, you can’t.”

“Yes, I -“

“Not anymore!” Uriel screamed, and the black lever growled out its chorus. “I told you. It’s too late! The animals have all run off and died. The hunting’s been scarce for decades. The lever hasn’t been fed in months! Time’s up! Time’s up, and you were sent here by God. As providence. Because we’re here on the brink of the end of the world and I can’t wait for you to go out and stumblingly hunt, can’t wait for your arrangements, can’t wait for you to get everything in order! I can’t let you leave and wait until your return, can’t wait for another day to pass!”

The multiple eyes blinked like suns going out. “There must be a sacrifice, now, to keep the world going. It’s been too long. It’s much too late. If you want to save the world, one of you has to die.”

 Jack felt a lump rise in his throat. He’d been counting on compassion, on breaking through Uriel’s isolation with the offer of their help, and now he felt themselves faced instead with a cold equation, as unfeeling as stone. “You can’t kill either of us,” he said, trying his best to keep his voice even. “Sammy needs to take his father’s place. If you kill him here - all you’ll be doing is trading one lever for another, leaving the white one without its guardian. And if you kill me, then it adds up to the same thing! Sammy will be stranded here! He can’t get back without me! The cold will get him!”

Uriel hesitated for a second, barely a movement of feathers, and then shook off Jack’s argument. “Then Nate will simply have to live a little longer. Sad for him, perhaps, but he understands the necessities of our work.”

“No!” Jack could hear the blood rushing in his ears, felt himself rushing on in a suicidal attempt. “I’m the Judge, you hear me? I’m the judge of humanity!” In the back of his mind he was aware of what a pitiful, futile threat this was – of course, Uriel could just kill him here, feed his blood to the black lever - but the adrenaline surging through his body would not let him back down. “You kill him here, and I swear to God I’ll go back to Eden and pull my lever! I’ll undo everything you’ve ever done! All your centuries of duty! I’ll kill us all, I swear it! You piece of shit!”

“Jack,” Sammy said gently, and that single word cut through his rage. Sammy was still draped around his neck, nosing next to his ear. “It’s okay. Let him take me. It amounts to the same thing.”

Jack looked at him in shock. “Sammy -!”

“You heard him,” said Sammy, his thin reedy voice gathering up inevitability as he talked, like a pebble starting an avalanche down a hill. “Someone needs to die. And it can’t be you, because someone - someone warm-blooded - needs to make their way back and tell my dad what happened.”

“No.” Jack shook his head. “No, no, there’s got to be a way –“

“And -” Sammy swallowed. “Listen to me, Jack. What do I have to live for, anyway? What’s waiting for me when I go back? An eternity of guarding a lever? To end up like my dad, waiting for you to come back with a sword so you can finally end his life?” Sammy’s eyes flicked up to Uriel. “To end up like him?”

“Sammy, no,” Jack insisted. “You’re young! You have … Look, your dad couldn’t even have imagined the internet, that laptop I built for him, and who knows what else the future has for you? That isn’t - it isn’t a life sentence! Or even if it is, at least you’ll be alive! To see what happens next!”

“Hollow words,” said Uriel, who had been watching in a sepulchral satisfaction. “The young one knows. He knows what fate awaits him.”

“You shut up!” Jack screamed, whirling around on Uriel. There were tears streaming from his eyes. “He’s a kid! He doesn’t know any better! He hasn’t - he hasn’t even seen the world yet! He doesn’t know anything!”

“Jack!” Sammy pleaded. “I have. You know I have. You’ve done everything for me. You’ve shown me the world, more of it than I could have ever imagined. And -”

“No. No no no no no no -”

“And you’ve known,” Sammy insisted. “All this while you’ve known. What would happen at the end of the trip.” He looked up at Jack with a childlike calm. “That you wouldn’t just be ending one life, but both of them.” 

“No!” Jack said. “You -” He could feel the blood rushing through his brain, and in one last desperate gambit he turned to appeal to Uriel. “Listen, okay, the kid didn’t want to do this, I didn’t want to drag anyone else into this, but you want a sacrifice?” He bared his teeth. “I’ll get you a sacrifice. Get me up to the surface. We had a convoy traveling with us. They escorted us out here and we did the last leg on our own, to keep this place a secret. They’ll be searching for us. It’s been too long since last contact. You get us back up there, I’ll lure one of them in.”

“J-Jack?” Sammy said, looking over at him confused. “What ...?”

“I know!” Jack said, speaking over him quickly. “You’re scared of what comes next. You think you have to do this all on your own. You think this is the easy way out.” He looked back up to Uriel.  “But you know it’s not that easy. We all have our duty to do. So c’mon!” His voice rose into a challenging crescendo. “Let’s do it!”

Uriel regarded him dubiously. “And why should I believe you? You never mentioned any companions before.” He gestured towards the hungry black surface of the lever. “Why should I not fulfil my duty, right here, right now?”

“Because,” Jack said. “Because we’re all already connected. Because Nate’s back in Eden, and he’s dying. Whether you believe it or not, he’s dying. He’s lived too long, and if neither of us go back to him then who knows what he’ll do, and what good’s killing a fucking kid to keep the world going if everything’s just going to go to hell a few weeks later?” He jutted his jaw out at Uriel, and saw the angel yield, by just an inch. “And if you kill me too then Nate’s all alone and lapses into despair and – and I don’t like to think what happens next! And if you leave me alive, I swear I’m going back, and I’m pulling that damn lever myself!”

He took a step forward, bringing both hands loudly down on his thighs. “We got our duty to do! We’re keeping the world from dying! And there’s a bunch of fresh meat up there ready for sacrifice, so let’s get up there and fucking do it!”

Sammy had shrank back, cowed into silence. Uriel was staring at him stunned. “But we -” Uriel started. All the eyes shifted in different directions. “No, no, you are delaying for time -”

“And you got time!” Jack shot back. “You listened to me tell that whole damn story! You’ve got - the end of the day, right? Till the end of the day, right? So let’s go up there, and give it a shot, and if no one comes you’ve still got us, right?” He prodded Uriel in the chest with a finger. “So let’s get up there, and you do your fucking job!” 

 Their march back through the maze of passageways was silent. Sammy hung limply on Jack’s shoulders, all the fight gone out of him. I didn’t mean it, Jack wanted to tell him, you don’t have your dad’s whole life resting on you, but Uriel floated behind them grimly, and the words didn’t seem to come. It was a relief to emerge into the open air again, to behold the dark of twilight instead of an unnatural ever-present light, to feel the gust of cold air on his cheeks instead of that warmthless warmth. They stood outside the entrance to the cavern, looking out at an unbroken landscape of snow. “I see nothing,” Uriel said.

“Yeah, well.” His breath came out in puffs. “You got to signal them. We left the flares back in the truck, I told you that.” He gave a nod to Uriel’s waist. “Use that goddamn sword of yours. Wave it around. They’ve gotta be searching for us by now. Get some attention.”

Uriel narrowed his eyes at him.

“What?” said Jack. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? You attract the - the whaddyacallit, The Cold? You said you could fight it off, if it came to that. Big deal! Let’s get some light and heat up here! It’s kind of what attracts living creatures, you know!”

Uriel let out a long sigh. “I don’t know how Nate put up with you,” he said, and unsheathed the sun.

Even through his bravado, Jack cringed away at the arc of the flame cutting through the cold and dark. The snow around Uriel hissed into steam. Jack felt the hairs on his skin singe. “Oh huuuumans,” Uriel crooned out, waving his sword through the air. “Humans that are no doubt out there. Come, come and save your friends!” 

Jack found himself staring out into the dark, half expecting in the delirious heat of Uriel’s flame for a rescue party to materialize, walking towards them with open arms. Perhaps a minute passed, and then another, Uriel’s motions becoming more theatrical, more flamboyant, almost mocking their last vestige of hope.

And then, from the gathering flurries of snow, came was the ravenous starving howl.

“Well, who could have foreseen this would happen,” Uriel muttered grimly, turning to face the beast materializing out of the darkness. It did not have the slow implacable pace as before, but was almost bounding towards them now in its whirling eddies, like a wolf scenting a steak, maddened by the heat of the open flame. “I do hope you’re happy,” he started to say, “one of you really is going to have to be the sacrifice now -”

He looked back to see Jack already running away from the cavern at full speed.

“You little fool!” Uriel snarled, and swung his sword in a great circle over his head, and all at once a ring of flame sprouted out from the snow, the sudden rush of heat knocking Jack back on his bum. “You think you could escape me? ME? An angel of God?” Uriel screamed, and then cried out in a grunt of pain as with a lunge The Cold buried its icy talons into his side. “Ungrateful little shits!” He plunged the flaming sword down and The Cold opened up its gullet to devour it, and there was a great rush of steam, the sound of the ground shattering apart.

“B-back into the caves!” Sammy gasped.

“What?!” Jack roared, still shielding his eyes from the wall of flame.

“We’re surrounded by fire! There’s nowhere else! Maybe we can lose him in the caverns!”

Jack gave a quick nod and veered around back into the caverns. From behind them were the sounds of glaciers cleaving apart, the sizzling of the sun, hot and cold locked together in a deathless match. “Oh my God. Oh my God. I can’t believe you did that,” Sammy moaned. “We can’t - He knows these caves better than we do! What was I thinking?”

“It’s fine,” Jack said, with a confidence he didn’t feel. “He - Look, he needs to come in here after us, right? He needs to make the sacrifice in time. And we can - All we need to do is avoid him, lose him in the passages, stay out of his way -” 

“Until what, Jack?” Sammy demanded. “Until it’s too late? Until it’s the end of the world?”

The black ice watched them hungrily as they descended deeper into the caves, pulsing against its confines, countless open black mouths trying to draw them in. “We -” Jack wiped sweat from his brow. “Look, we’ll think of something.”

“The lever,” Sammy said, and swallowed. “We have to go back to the lever. It always comes back to that.” He shook his head, contorting as if to twist himself into knots. “I don’t know what to do, Jack! I thought I was doing the right thing, offering myself up to Uriel to sacrifice. But - but this isn’t right! I feel like my dad told me something about, like he knew! If only he was here! But he’s not! I don’t know –” He burst out into a wail. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him!”

“Sammy.” Jack paused for a moment to catch his breath, still flushed from the heat and the exertion. “Listen, I know it’s scary, and I know it’s not fair, everything that’s expected of you, but -”

A sluice of cold air cut him off, a bladed tongue flickering across his cheek, and Jack looked up to see, walking as if hunched in the low passageways, a great grey ugly thing that was the absence of all light, the absence of all warmth, advancing upon them.

“What,” he breathed, and looked back the way they had come. Even from the entrance way, they could still hear echoing the sounds of battle, Uriel’s grunts, and flame hissing against ice.

“Oh my God,” said Jack. “There’s more than one of them.”

They were running again, The Cold behind them, the slanted passageways of the caverns narrowing in on them, herding them, black and glistening like a long dark throat. In the depths of the earth they felt a shift, the ticking of a great clock. Doom, it said. Doom, doom, doom. 

“Jack. We have to,” Sammy moaned. “It’s the end of the world otherwise. The end of the world!”

Jack ran, his feet pounding against the ground. He could almost see the black lever, visible through the false light, calling to him, pulling at him. Magnetic north. And then another sudden draft of cold air, and there was the Cold seeping through the invisible crevasses in the ice, the one chasing him, or maybe yet another, re-forming in front of them as a great grey swirling cloud, raising its massive fists.

“Oh God,” muttered Jack, skidding to a halt. He could feel the lever pulling magnetic at his blood, yanking him closer in great cravings and throes. He wanted to laugh. They were trapped in a no-win situation, only trying to die, and now even that was impossible. “We can -” He looked helplessly behind him. “There’s got to be another way around -”

Sammy uncoiled from his neck and slithered down onto the ground, away from him. “Jack,” he said. “Lead it away.”

Jack gaped. “What?”

“Lead it away! It’ll go after you! You’re warm-blooded, and then I can get past!” Sammy was already wriggling himself into a small crack in the wall. “Jack! It’s the only way! Please!”

“No. No, no, no.” Already he was coming back to his senses, the awful Cold advancing on him. “What are you going to do? You can’t sacrifice yourself!”

“I’ll throw myself down. It’s high enough.” Jack stood frozen in shock, the Cold advancing on him, Sammy curled up almost comically in that little crack. All he had to do was stand here, he told himself. The Cold would fall upon him and devour him, eat up every last spot of warmth in his blood, and Sammy would be trapped in there until it left. Until it was too late to do anything. Until...

“Please!” Sammy begged. “Help me save you! I don’t want you to die!”

Jack came to life and ran.

He did not know where he was going. There were tears streaming down his face, and all the icy walls had turned against him, like teeth arrayed backwards in a gullet, trying to keep the food from coming back up. “C’mon!” he screamed behind him, his voice echoing hysterically through the empty chambers. “You big dumb thing! I’m right here! Keep up!” The Cold’s icy breath hissed down his spine and Jack ran, ran, ran, as if he could lead death itself far away from Sammy, lead it to the ends of the Earth, where no one might ever be hurt again. “Follow the leader!”

He ran, the path narrowing and narrowing until he was at a dead end, nowhere left to go. Jack sank to his knees, pressing his forehead against the ice. He could hear the Cold coming, and closed his eyes. “Sammy,” he said. “Sammy, I’m so sorry.”

The Cold first bit into his calf, shards of ice that froze his blood and nearly stopped his heart, and then he felt its awful weight on him spreading across his body almost intimate, like a lover, and he thought, if this is death then maybe Sammy was right, maybe there were worse things than this.

 The sun, when it appeared, was no less terrifying from having experienced it twice before.

Uriel grunted as he shoved the flaming sword through the Cold’s chest, only lightly crisping Jack’s skin. Jack gasped and convulsed as Uriel fished the icy corpse off him, his limbs not obeying, and then then Uriel had hauled him into the air. I’m dead, Jack thought, This is Heaven, or Hell, and then he realized that it was the air in front of him that had coagulated into darkness, pulsed with the beat of a dying world.

“Where is the little snake?” Uriel was screaming at him, impatiently sheathing his sword. “You fool! We’re out of time! You understand that? We’re out of time!”

“I -” Jack tried to gesture jerkily to whatever remained of the Cold. “He told me to lead it away. So that he could - could get to the lever, could -” He broke off.

“Well, you had better hope this little plan succeeded,” Uriel snarled. “Otherwise, congratulations.” He looked up into the darkness. “You’re responsible for the end of the world.”

They stood in the lightless air, listening. The world ticked down, the vibrations of the lever running through the earth, counting towards zero. Jack felt himself shift in Uriel’s grip, one last great convulsion, the lever shifting in its axis -

And then nothing.

Jack slowly opened his eyes, seeing nothing but more darkness. He counted internally to ten, and then brought his hand up to his face and touched his left cheek, his upper lip, before finally touching the tip of his nose. “Hey,” he said. “I’m still alive.”

“Yes,” Uriel said in the darkness. “As am I.”

The sword came out again, and Jack winced and shielded his eyes, but it was dimmed this time, Uriel raising it like a torch. All around them was the ice - but only ice, slowly relaxing into water where Uriel’s sword pointed, rivulets running down and joining in their paths. Ice that caught the reflection of the flame, and was clear, showing no taint of black.

“He did it,” mumbled Jack, and then wanted to weep. He imagined Sammy, his little body sprawled out on that black altar. “He did it.”

“He did ... something,” Uriel cautiously said.

Jack clung to Uriel, the angel carrying him down the passageways, flaming sword raised to make a thousand candle flames warped through glass. Jack felt like they were walking through a church, candles lit in prayer as the wax ran and wept to make crooked cheerful shapes as all the candles bowed and guttered out. Uriel flew them into the central chamber, and far below they could see the dim outline of the plinth and its lever, unmoved. It was black, still, but all the malevolence of its blackness seemed to have gone out of it, and now it was soft as shadow.

“This is... How did this happen?” Uriel said. Jack looked up at him, uncomprehending. “It ... It ...”

And then, a small voice chimed out from the ground below them. “H-hey, could you - could you move that fire a little closer? S-some of us are c-cold-blooded, you know.”

“Oh my God!” cried Jack. “Sammy?”

Sammy was lying limply at the edge of the precipice, stirring to life as Uriel brought the flame closer. “Hey, guys,” he said, and stretched out at the warmth. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“But -” Uriel was gawking, countless eyes wide in disbelief. “What - what happened? What did you do?”

“Oh, that,” said Sammy, and glanced down at the lever. “Nothing.”

Uriel stared at him stunned.

Sammy raised his head in a smile. “Absolutely nothing. It was feeding on blood, obviously. And it hadn’t been fed in quite a while. Practically starving to death. So it was really throwing a tantrum, screaming out with all it had left to be fed. But it could only keep that up for so long, and if you just keep on not feeding it, well ...” He managed with a twist of his body what might pass as a shrug. “It’s done. It’s dead.”  

“But -” Uriel stammered. “But all this time, all the sacrifices -”

“Yup,” said Sammy, nodding wearily. “It got into your head. I – I don’t blame you, having to live with a thing like this. It was blackmailing you the whole time, threatening to pull itself, threatening to take the choice out of your hands, when really…” He chuckled. “It’s a tool, you know? It could threaten, it could manipulate - but it would take someone else to use it.”

“Oh, Sammy!” Jack cried, and squeezed out of Uriel’s slack grip. The angel seemed completely at a loss, floating numbly in mid-air without a word. Jack bent over the snake and scooped him up. “I thought – oh God, I thought you were going to kill yourself.” 

“Yeah,” murmured Sammy, coiling loosely around Jack’s wrist again. “I did too. It gets to the point where you ... where you think that’s maybe the only option. But I was right there, on the brink, the lever calling out to me, and all I could think about was you, and I ...” He smiled weakly. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Jack.”

“Yeah?” Jack said, wiping away a tear.

“Yeah,” said Sammy. He relaxed, laying his head against Jack’s arm. “You, me, and some wisdom from dear old dad. It took me a while, but I finally remembered his advice.” He raised his head, mimicking old Nate’s voice. “’You’ve got to lead a Cold, starve a lever.’”

[humanmoodring-retired]

POTW: Mima Bam Boum || Alain, Felix, Kaden, Luce, & Nadia

Or: Nadia and crew do The Thing, and it does not go according to plan (as if they had one in the first place)

With: @carbrakes-and-stakes @streetharmacist @chasseurdeloup @divineluce

Sitting in her truck, parked not too far from that fucking mime restaurant, Nadia couldn’t help but wonder, on a scale from one to ten, how bad this idea was. Probably an eleven. Probably higher. She didn’t even know how she’d gotten here. Well, other than driving. At least she remembered the drive. But between the internet and talking with Luce, she’d managed to put together a rather decent explosive, though the fireworks had been relatively useless. Maybe she could throw that barbecue, invite Erin as a thank you, should this thing not kill her. Because what the hell was she doing, anyway? Taking on a mime demon that really hadn’t done anything to her. Except she’d let that thing loose in the sewer, and, no matter what Kaden said, that was still on her as much as it was on him. This whole mime business was fucking cursed, and people were getting hurt because of it. Nadia figured that getting rid of the thing in the alley and the restaurant would be a step in the right direction. Hopefully. She got out of the truck and decided to wait against the back for Alain, Kaden, Felix, and Luce. Fuck, she hoped she didn’t get anyone killed with this thing.

Alain had parked his car far enough from the mime restaurant. The last thing he wanted was to damage his car because of mimes. Sure, this would not be directly their fault, but when did this stop him from blaming them ? The handle of the sword was peaking out of the dufflebag as he stepped out of the car, although considering the hour and the current darkness, he would not have to worry about it at all. He took a moment to take a deep breath. Things would soon get stressful, and heated, and he wanted to appreciate the calm and quiet before it all began. He was a bit early anyway, so why not enjoy that ? Approaching the restaurant, his gaze was drawn toward a truck parked on the sidewalk. He had already seen it at the garage, although back then, it was his employee who had taken care of it. Still, he knew who it belonged to, and he raised his hand to greet Nadia.

Kaden wasn’t sure blowing up a mime restaurant was the best laid plan after that disaster with the cardboard cut out but fuck if he couldn’t use a pick me up after the last few weeks. If that restaurant was going to be destroyed, he was going to be there with front row fucking tickets. He still wasn’t sure what help he’d be to Nadia in this endeavor but that didn’t mean he didn’t come prepared. Guns, knives, holy water. Look, if something like that fucking smoke demon happened again, he was ready. He saw her and Alain around back and headed over, watching his back to make sure no one was following him. He knew damn well he couldn’t trust his hearing with this brand of monster. Kaden was a little surprised to see Alain there but he didn’t mind. And again, the smoke demon shit came to mind. If that was only a small taste of the kind of fuckery that could go down here, they’d want at least two hunters. “So what’s the plan?” he asked. “Are we waiting on anyone else?”

Few things in the world could compare to the smell of dynamite and gunpowder. The only one that might come close would be the ruins of what once was a mime restaurant. Felix sure as heck hoped so as he made his way downtown through the shadows. Maybe a license would be worth looking into but that could come later. The potential for crime had him skipping by fast, more than eager to see a mime place vanish off the face of the earth. He pulled himself out of the dark a block away from where Nadia suggested they meet. Her first crime! That he knew about! Exciting, thrilling. A real adventure hour! He adjusted his tie and straightened out the sleeves of his jacket before he waved to the crew she had assembled. Kaden, the other guy with the face. “Looks like this might be part two to that birthday gig of yours, huh?” He grinned at Kaden before he shifted to look at Nadia. “You excited? Because I sure am.”

When Nadia had brought up the idea of blowing up the mime restaurant, Luce had mostly been joking about doing something like that. And about her pyrotechnic ability-- sure, she knew how to make a molotov, knew how to throw together a pretty basic napalm with acetone and styrofoam. Which, she’d packed up in the backpack that was slung over her shoulder. She’d parked her large 4x4 in an alley a quick run from the mime restaurant. Close enough to be easy to get to, far enough to probably keep people from thinking she had anything to do with the upcoming act of arson. As she neared Yours, Mime, and Ours, Luce’s expression turned to a slight scowl as she took in the small gathering. It was a fucking sausage fest of dudes who she really didn’t care to know about her magical predisposition. “I’m guess we’re gathered here today to fuck some shit up?” She asked, with a wry grin before tilting her head at Kaden. “Birthday Boy out for some revenge? I thought you were a cop, dude.”

Grinning nervously as the last of them showed up, Nadia looked at the group of people around her. Emotions practically radiated off of Kaden, Alain, and Luce, and she could still feel Felix’s excitement, muted as it was. She decided to focus on him, remembering the advice she’d been given that nonhumans were just a bit easier to deal with than humans. She opened up her trunk, first grabbing a pack of bullets for a .50 ae pistol. She tossed them to Kaden. “Happy birthday, though it’s late.” Then she grabbed the explosive she’d managed to put together following a couple of tutorials online. This was the second attempt; the first hadn’t failed catastrophically when she took it out of town to test, but she definitely put a dent in a small field and had to run from an angry farmer with a shotgun yelling about hooligans playing with firecrackers. She’d also figured out that she fucking hated electrical work. But it should work. “I’m, uh, nervous. But this is definitely going to blow something up.” Hopefully none of them. “So, I was thinking we trap that fucker in the alley? Block off one of the entrances, force it to the other end, and boom. Blow it and the building up.”

Alain's eyes went from Felix to Kaden. Raising his eyebrows, the hunter breathed out heavily and took a few steps back to look at the restaurant's menu. Well this was even worse than he thought. Selling crème brulée like it was a luxurious dessert was a crime in itself. When he glanced back at the group, he noticed something in Nadia's hands. Since he had never used explosives, he was not fond of being anywhere near them, although if it had not exploded yet, it was safe, right ? "Are you sure you don't want us to shorten the ends of the fella before we blow things up ?" Yes, he should have been clearer and said that he wanted to cut the hands, feet and head of the fucker to be sure, but that wouldn't have sounded right. "Anyone have an idea on how to block one entrance ?" He looked at the other hunter and shrugged. "We could prevent that thing from going anywhere, I guess?"

“Let’s hope this isn’t part two. No one needs that. And yeah, I am. Kind of. I can’t make arrests, it’s fine.” Kaden hoped that was true. Maybe he should have worn a hat. Or some kind of disguise. Just in case. Too late now. Still, of course both Felix and Luce had to remind him of the single worst birthday party that may have ever existed. He shot them both a glance, but took the bullets from Nadia and shoved them in his back pocket. “Thanks, I’ll be sure to put them to good use.” He took one look at the explosive and knew he wanted nothing to do with that. He was much more comfortable with the task of blocking off that fucking mime moster and hopefully shooting it in the face. That said, he was pretty sure any bullets would bounce off or its head would grow back; it seemed like the type. The satisfaction would be nice, though. Kaden took a look around down the alley and saw a few shipping boxes, a dumpster, there was enough random crap. “That. Come on,” he said to Alain, pointing at the big dumpsters. They worked together to move them down the end of the alleyway, then grabbing whatever boxes and trash he could find. The boxes were a little odd, who left their shipping outside in the alley? And they were.. Moving? Nah, he was imagining it. When they were done, it wasn’t a beautiful barricade but it should make just about anything pause. “We’ll keep post at the other end. Try not to blow us all up,” he told the demolition crew as he and the other hunter waited at the alley for this shit to go down.

“I just want you all to know that this might just make my entire year. What a gift!” The fae’s eyes practically lit up at the sight of homemade dynamite. The plan was all well and good. Just a simple trapping and a couple of boom-booms. Heck, did that take Felix back and he steepled his hands together. If a streetlight glinted off his glasses at an opportune moment, he didn’t notice. He had brought his own supplies. Slow-burning wicks, his own brand of explosives, lighter, a small snub-nosed source of firepower and a knife up every sleeve in case the mime thought about getting handsy with the merchandise again. He sure as hell hoped the mime did. Stealing a fella’s green was a capital offense. As he waited for the barricade to be built up, he could barely contain his anticipation and grinned as he looked over to Luce and Nadia. He glanced down to the explosives in Nadia’s hands and nodded. “How you wanting to smoke ‘em out? Throw a little something-something in the front and they gotta come out here,” he said, gesturing to the alley and the barricade before he leaned back to glance at the front. Glass looked weak enough. “Won’t have anywhere else to go, y’know? Give em the ol’ badabing badaboom.”

“Just as long as you don’t arrest me, I’m good.” Luce nodded at Kaden before watching as he and the other man headed down the alleyway, like some kinda sniper elite shit. She was pretty sure she recognized the old guy from the mechanic’s shop in town. Color her surprised to see him there. Which left her, Nadia, and Felix. A much more reasonable bunch that she’d be fine showing her true colors to. Opening her backpack, Luce held up one of the two molotov’s she had, the pouch of homemade napalm, and her handy dandy zippo lighter. “I’ve got supplies for day, plus a little secret weapon, if we need it.” She said with a grin. She was the secret weapon, of course. “You’ve kinda got a big old explosive there. Let’s not waste it-- we could draw them out with molotovs and then launch yours.” She said, gesturing to the stuff in Nadia’s hands. She’d have to ask her how she managed to rig up that crazy device. Holding one of the bottle aloft, Luce looked at the two. “You guys good with this?”

“I’m ready if you two are,” Nadia said. “We lure it to us and then bye-bye, fucker.” The three of them headed into the mouth of the alley. From there, Nadia could see Kaden and Alain blocking the other end. There was no sign of their friend the mime demon. Good. “I’m going to rig this to a wall,” Nadia murmured. “It’s timed, so when the thing gets close to us, we’ve got, like, fifteen seconds to get the hell out. We just need to make sure it doesn’t follow us.” She set it down, then took a molotov. “We need to get it here. And keep it here. It might try to escape with so many people around. But we need to get it here first.” Not wanting to waste time, she took a molotov, lit it, and threw it against one of the walls. Glass shattered, fire rained, and light filled the alley. She saw it, the creature, lurking in a corner, the light hitting its ghastly, expressionless face. Looking at it filled her with awful dread, and it only got worse as it scuttled towards the three of them slowly, on all fours.

"Feels like Mai 1968 all over again," he glanced over his shoulder at the barricade then back at the fire that was starting inside the restaurant. His hand clenched on his sword as he saw the creature approaching the three others, although something crawling up his back and on his head changed his priorities. Reaching for it with his free hand, his first instinct was to toss this thing away from here, but the thing was clinging to his hand. Okay, this is fine, he thought to himself, putting this thing as far as possible from his face to give it a look. 8 hairy legs, a dark abdomen and a striped thorax. Well he sure hoped that getting bitten by this thing wouldn't have the effect it did on spiderman because this Mime spider (because let's be honest, putain de bordel de merde, this was a fucking mime spider, wasn't it?) had just sank its mandibles into his hand and forced him into crushing the thing against the wall with his hand. And since good things never appeared alone, as Alain turned to warn Kaden about these, an army of more mime spiders appeared from the boxes. “Oh, putain,” he muttered to himself, crushing the next one underneath his boot.

So it wouldn’t just be a simple boom and leave kinda job, would it? Fine by Felix, his schedule for the day was fairly open. Plenty of time in the world to ruin a few mimes. When he laid eyes on the creature Nadia was talking to, he grinned with sharp teeth. The fucker had stolen his weed. Watching it burn alive would be a pleasure unknown before that very moment. “Oh fella, am I glad to see you,” he said to himself as he reached into his suit to grab a small piece of dynamite. He lit the wick and tossed it straight at the creature, who caught it with a swiftness that mildly alarmed. “Got something else for you to smoke, motherfucker.” The wick burned down to nothing and boom. The light from the flame licked against the fae’s triumphant expression. “Well huh, that was--” He stopped. The smoke fell and behind it, an expressionless, untouched face. An intact hand. Momentarily stunned, the only thing that brought Felix out of it was the feeling of something crawling on his leg. One of the spiders had made it down the alley. Outraged, he grabbed it and slid the knife out of his sleeve to stab it in the abdomen and twist. The small creature died with a whisper of oui. The fae brandished the knife as he backed up toward Nadia and Luce. “Well hot fucking dog.”

Kaden ducked a little and shielded his face with his arm as the explosion went off, just in case. Looking up to see that fucking place on fire was a beautiful sight. The sight of a fucking mime spider crawling on Alain’s face was less so. “Shit!” He fumbled and instinctively raised his gun at the thing (and the other hunter’s face). Right. Bad idea. He lowered it and realized he felt something crawling on his arm. His eyes shot down and saw one of those fuckers on him and even more by their feet. Putain. Were they wearing little berets? His brow furrowed a moment, then the thing jumped up towards him. Kaden yelped and flung it away. Fucking shit. He started stomping furiously, trying to squash as many of them as possible. He could have sworn small cries of “non” escaped with every crushed creepy stripey crawly. Cursed. A quick glance at Nadia and crew and saw they had a guest to this party. Fuck. He raised his gun to the beast waiting til it was in view and his colleagues were out of the way. Let out a breath. Aim. Fir— Fuck! A sharp pain hit his ankle, (and a whisper of “oui”). Fucking spider. The shot went wide. He didn’t take time to see where it hit, just slammed his heel down on the fucking spider and took another shot at the monster across the way. Hit. It had to have. But it looked like the bullet was… absorbed more than anything. The creature twitched and catorted it’s head, looking for its aggressor. It seemingly decided on the trio in front of it. Putain.

What a fucking mess. Nadia, not really knowing what to do and running out of options, reached in her jacket pocket and pulled out a handful of salt, throwing it at the creature that Kaden just shot. It was strange. The salt didn’t do a damn thing to the creature, but it did seem… stunned? Like it wasn’t expecting that. Just like she wasn’t expecting the mime spiders that were rapidly pouring out of the boxes. She crushed one under her boot, and then another. A softly whispered, “nooooon” filled her ear, and she shrieked and brushed at her shoulder, one of the fuckers falling to the ground for her to stomp on it. All the while, the mime monster was headed for her, Luce, and Felix. “Shit shit shit shit motherfucking shit,” Nadia said eloquently, wishing she’d packed her gun but, after seeing the fuck-all effect Kaden’s had, knowing it’d be useless. She needed to set up the big explosive, and they all needed to get out. While they could. “Cover me! Or get out! Or something! Shit!” Moving as quickly as she could to the restaurant wall, stepping on mime spiders (one cried out “baguette!” viciously as it’s final cry of revenge) and hoping the big one didn’t follow, she took the explosive and began rigging it to the side of the already burning restaurant. On fire was good. Destroyed was better. And maybe it’d take out that demon fucker and his spider fuck friends as well. At least, that’s what she fucking hoped.

Caught off guard by the horrific fucking mime spiders that were plaintifly saying random French words as they died, Luce hesitated at the shit show unfolding before her. What in the fucking shit was going on? But, before she could really process any of this, the large demonic mime thing whirled around and made its way towards her, Nadia, and Felix. Nose still smarting from her fight against the Fext, Luce knew she had to play smart this time. Grabbing the bottle of homegrown napalm she’d made, she chucked it at the horrible monster. Glass shattered, sending the sticky, clinging flammable fluid all over the thing’s body. With a quiet snap of her left hand, she summoned a small spark, igniting the giant mime monster. The monster roiled and she watched as it seemed to unbend, the black of where it’s stomach should be opening up to display a terrifying maw of jagged teeth. It snarled and stumbled around, smearing ignited napalm against the walls of the alleyway. It definitely wasn’t dead. “Ah fuck. How the fuck are you not dead?!” She said, backing away from the now flaming mime monster.

It was starting to become real apparent real fast that they were in something of a French pickle. A nervous energy compelled Felix to smile broadly in the face of black-and-white striped danger. In all his years, he had never seen mime spiders or whatever the heck the thing with the gaping maw was. White Crest really was the most cursed place on the planet. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere else! The creature contorted in a mass of limbs and a wide, gaping maw where a face shouldn’t be. Might as well have been a layer of hell the humans talked about sometimes. But it was a face of some kind and that meant that it had eyes most likely. Even if the dang thing defied most everything. He wasn’t keen on bringing out the lights in front of mostly strangers, but with all the fire and chaos, maybe it’d go unnoticed. “Well hell. Come on snake, let’s rattle.” As Luce stepped back, he gripped his glasses and slipped them down just enough to expose the bright, blinding beams of his eyes. Looked the striped, French devil in the eyes. The alleyway shifted underneath him and he stumbled back, barely getting his glasses back on. There was light all around him. There was too much fucking light. Was it daytime? When did it become daytime? He needed to go but the alley seemed to be turning, a colorless carnival tunnel that he couldn’t get footing on and he stumbled back. The knife fell out of his hand. The oui in his ears grew louder. He was in too much light and he felt too warm, like he was sitting in the sun. Nervous, what the fuck laughter bubbled out of him. Holy crepes, he might just die there.

The spider mimes kept coming, crying out "non" and whispering "hon, hon, hon," as they crawled up. "Oh no, absolutely not,” the hunter cried out ,throwing another one of these monsters into the flames that were starting to eat the restaurant. The spider squealed “omelette DU fromage,” but now may have not been the time to correct a spider’s poor knowledge of French grammar, especially after seeing Mr.MimeParties performing his best impression of fog headlights and falling right into the burning restaurant. “Putain de merde,” it was clear by now that the mime monster wouldn’t die, but that did not mean that Felix had to die instead. His sword dropped to the floor and shielding his face with his forearm, the hunter walked laboriously between flames and rubble. Even if that guy was definitely not human, he was helping them, and that meant something. Ripping away the spider, that had oui on repeat, clinging to Felix’s head, he put a hand under the man’s armpits and pulled him up against his chest. “Alright, let’s get you out of here, old sport.” Yeah, no, that was not going to do, Alain figured, as he decided to lift the man on his shoulder to carry him out of here. The smoke emanating from the building looking far from reassuring, and the threat of a roof collapsing on the both of them had Alain hurry out. “Any chance with our mime friend?” He called out as he put Felix down on his feet.

How in the fuck? Kaden watched as Luce lit the fucking mime demon on fire and it just. kept. Going. Like it was the energizer mime or some shit. That thought sent a chill down his spine. No, wait, that was another spider in a beret. He reached back and threw it off him. Alain had drug boy who seemed to be hypnotized, it was pretty clear Luce was ready to get the hell out of dodge, and so  was he. But Nadia was still there, rigging shit. And the monster was crawling towards her. Fuck. He rand over, shooting useless fucking rounds at the thing’s head in rapid succession. It did fuck all, as he suspected, but he hoped it bought Naida a few extra seconds. It reared back once more, exposing its teeth jutting out from its stomach. Shit, any moment it was going to come for him. He looked behind her towards the barricade. Another flood of spiders hissing “hon hon hon” were coming. They couldn’t stay there. “Nadia! Come on, let’s go!” he shouted as he looked back at her, hoping she was ready so they could get the hell out of there. Hell, in three seconds if she wasn’t ready he didn’t care, he was going to drag her out of there his damn self. He wasn’t letting anyone die by mime. Not today.

Luce was too busy running away from the shitty napalmed-assed mime fuck to really notice what the fuck was going on with Felix. But, when she saw the alleyway illuminated in strange light, the man fall backwards, and his glasses fall back in place, she frowned. What in the-- A tiny “Pomme de terre,” rang out near her ear and she felt something skittering across her back. Shuddering, she reached behind her and grabbed the awful little mime spider off her and stared at it as it tried to bite and claw at her face. What in the fucking shit. Curling her hand around the mime spider, she let the flames burn through her hand, igniting the mime spider. The spider shrieked in French pain and she hucked it across the alley at the giant mouth-stomach shit. “Fuck you and your shitty kids!” She yelled at the creature before turning around and bolting. She sprinted out of the alleyway, past Nadia, past Kaden, past all of them. She wasn’t about to be stuck here while this place went up in smoke. And she sure as shit wasn’t going to be dying here.

Stressed and interchangeably cursing in English and Spanish, Nadia finally got the piece of shit bomb she’d created hooked up and turned on. “Thirty seconds!” she said, and she grabbed Kaden so that the two of them could get the hell out of Dodge. Mime spiders trailed after them, crunching and ouiing under their feet, but the big one, with its horrible abdominal maw, stayed behind, despite the tick-tick-tick coming from right next to it. As she looked back, she stumbled, positive that the damn thing was smiling, before she righted herself and kept going. Everyone had just made it out of the alley when the restaurant exploded. See, here’s the thing about homemade bombs: you never knew what kind of outcome you were going to get. But Nadia had fucking stuffed that thing with black powder and just about any other explosive material she could get her hands on in a small number of days, and apparently the wall she’d placed the thing on was near the kitchen because when everything went boom, everything went boom. Stripes flew through the air, a baguette rocketed through the sky, and mime spiders rained like confetti. Nadia felt like screaming. Instead, eyes widely and shellshocked, she whispered, “Holy fucking shit.”