#what they are like

[cluelessatthispoint]

tf2 Mercs Babysitting Style

Heavy: He likes kids and has a lot of experience helping his mother to raise his sisters. He dreams of one day starting a family and having one or two children. When babysitting he understands that he is much larger than the child and tries to make himself seem smaller so he doesn't scare them too bad. He is a patient and caring babysitter, but he is a firm believer in following the rules. Candy before dinner? No thank you!

Soldier: Do not let him near your kids. He will give them a buzzcut and bring them raccoons to play with. He means well, he really does, but if you want him to babysit your kids at least ask if Demo can come along as well. Demo can easily tone down the chaos that Soldier brings. Soldier, in general, likes kids, he doesn't have any experience in babysitting but he thinks that it can't be that much different from ordering around troops. Oh, how wrong he is.

Spy: He will leave them in front of the television and walk away. Every now and then he will check in on the kids and make sure that they didn't hurt themselves. Even though he says that he doesn't like kids he will make sure that they eat a delicious and nutritious meal that would put Gordon Ramsey to shame. Being around kids makes him uncomfortable, it makes him think of all the missed opportunities that he could have had with his son growing up.

Sniper: He is used to being alone. His only experience with kids is that he used to be a kid himself. Does the child want food? does the child need water? Does the kid have to go number one? or number two? He doesn't know. One thing is for sure though, that child (if well-behaved) will be kept safe and sound. If the kid is a brat he will leave them with Heavy. He loves to teach the kid how to hunt for food and the perfect way to cook and eat grasshoppers.

Scout: He is pretty much a child himself, he knows that a kid needs food, water, and entertainment in order to be happy and healthy. He will be very awkward around the child at first. He tries to show off how confident he is, but the kid will not be fooled; even a baby can see through his false bravado. He starts off with comics and magazines, then the T.V. when that doesn't work he makes the kid a sandwich and takes them outside to play some catch. The child will have the most fun with Scout, but Scout will be panicking the whole time.

Pyro: He likes kids, heck! He loves spending time with them, but if on the off chance you want your kid to end up crispier than a burnt piece of texas toast please consider leaving your child with Heavy or even Soldier.

Demoman: He is a little concerned about being a babysitter. He is a demolition expert, he builds bombs for a living! Even a child at first glance could probably tell that he is as drunk as a skunk. Still, he has that "friendly" atmosphere about himself. Since he makes bombs for a living his hands are extremely dexterous. He knows how much pressure to apply to a child's hand for a handshake and he knows how to apply band-aids the correct way. Does he like babysitting? Not as much as he likes to blow things up. Will he ever consider babysitting in the future? he might, he is a DeGroot! And DeGroots like having multiple jobs! Besides, deep down he really is a softie.

Medic: Is one of the last people that should even be near a child. He has a lot of knowledge of childcare and knows what to do if they're sick, or it they got hurt. But emotionally... not so much. He's very desensitized to gore and forgets that most normal people much less children can handle the sight of blood. He will probably ask the child to help retrieve something from the fridge and eventually scar them for life with all the various organs he has mixed in with the canned drinks. Does he like kids? he thinks that they are okay. He has no patience for them really. But if Heavy and Medic were trusted to take care of the child, then they will work together to make the child feel safe, loved, and comforted til their parents come back.

Engineer: He has a lot of dangerous doo-hickeys in his workshop, so a day in there is a no-no. He will gladly keep the child entertained with stories of his youth or old folktales that his Grandfather used to tell him back when he was a little boy. If stories don't do the trick, then perhaps a song or two on his trusty guitar might pique the child's interest. He tries to form a bond with the child by building with Legos or building blocks. If the kid suggests building a pillow fort then Engie will always be free to babysit whenever you're busy. He will teach the child how to build the most effective pillow fort, capable of withstanding strong winds, loud noises, and Soldier's raccoon attacks.

[never-quite-buried]

Nope now it’s at the point that i’m shocked that people off tt don’t know what’s going down. I have no reach but i’ll sum it up anyway.

SCOTUS is hearing on the constitutionality of the ban as tiktok and creators are arguing that it is a violation of our first amendment rights to free speech, freedom of the press and freedom to assemble.

SCOTUS: tiktok bad, big security concern because china bad!

Tiktok lawyers: if china is such a concern why are you singling us out? Why not SHEIN or temu which collect far more information and are less transparent with their users?

SCOTUS (out loud): well you see we don’t like how users are communicating with each other, it’s making them more anti-american and china could disseminate pro china propaganda (get it? They literally said they do not like how we Speak or how we Assemble. Independent journalists reach their audience on tt meaning they have Press they want to suppress)

Tiktok users: this is fucking bullshit i don’t want to lose this community what should we do? We don’t want to go to meta or x because they both lobbied congress to ban tiktok (free market capitalism amirite? Paying off your local congressmen to suppress the competition is totally what the free market is about) but nothing else is like TikTok

A few users: what about xiaohongshu? It’s the Chinese version of tiktok (not quite, douyin is the chinese tiktok but it’s primarily for younger users so xiaohongshu was chosen)

16 hours later:

Tiktok as a community has chosen to collectively migrate TO a chinese owned app that is purely in Chinese out of utter spite and contempt for meta/x and the gov that is backing them.

My fyp is a mix of “i would rather mail memes to my friends than ever return to instagram reels” and “i will xerox my data to xi jinping myself i do not care i share my ss# with 5 other people anyway” and “im just getting ready for my day with my chinese made coffee maker and my Chinese made blowdryer and my chinese made clothing and listening to a podcast on my chinese made phone and get in my car running on chinese manufactured microchips but logging into a chinese social media? Too much for our gov!” etc.

So the government was scared that tiktok was creating a sense of class consciousness and tried to kill it but by doing so they sent us all to xiaohongshu. And now? Oh it’s adorable seeing this gov-manufactured divide be crossed in such a way.

This is adorable and so not what they were expecting. Im sure they were expecting a reluctant return to reels and shorts to fill the void but tiktokers said fuck that, we will forge connections across the world. Who you tell me is my enemy i will make my friend. That’s pretty damn cool.

[guooey]

really beautiful things are happening between americans and chinese netizens right now

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[miiilowo]

phenomenon

[tawnysoup]

Found my fav Slay the Princess route recently. Dragon my beloved. Your horrifying beak mouth was an impossible-to-refuse lip syncing challenge 💖

Shoutouts to @blacktabbygames for making such a cool game!

[karvviie]

this is what happened right

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[sanguinifex]

You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.

Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.

Kill the censor in your head.

[ganymedesclock]

I think cis people should also be their gender of choice. Like, if you're a man, you should get to really enjoy being a man- have fun with it! If you're a woman, take the parts of womanhood that really deeply make you happy. If being a little androgynous or ambiguous or hidden is the part that really makes you happy, you don't have to be trans for that. If you wanna lean really hard into being femme or masc- do it! You have one life in your body, do what makes you happy. Ditch the stuff you don't like.

My sinister queer agenda is I think that everyone should be the gender they like in the way they like it.

[lapdogchase]

interaction i have with shocking regularity is when someone’s complaining abt someone they know and theyre like “ughh they’re 21 and dont have a job and refuse to learn to drive” and then they remember who they’re talking to (me. 21 cant work cant drive) and go like

[enemywasp]

I'm sorry I keep posting my tiktok comments but please. What does this mean. What do people THINK shipping is for anymore???

[mobydyke]

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

[12neonlit-stage]

you're allowed to discuss and work together, reblog for a higher sample size or something

You have 1 week, good luck!

[mythtakens]

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes