#what the everloving fuck is happening

[hetare-ttk]

Been busy all day, so when I finally login and see everyone mentioning the words “staff” “algorithm content” and “new update” felt like going to a bar after work and hearing three very scary chords right as soon as I walk through the door.

[knitpurlgoal]

hold up the A's are playing in SACRAMENTO next year? they dont have a stadium! are you going to make an mlb team play in the RIVERCATS stadium??? or at SAC STATE????

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

this hgappened monthssss ago but im still kinda pissed about it ok so i wrote a fic about grain just grain others were mentioned but they weren't important and no where in my fic was there any shipping much less scarian (Im the no.1 scarian hater) but it was written after the first session of Secret life and so it like vaguely referenced it cause it followed grain through each of the seasons and after SL ended someone posted a fic "inspired" by my fic where it followed the same premise, same style, even copied down some sentences and paragraphs word for word exactly how I did

im still upset cause they added SL at the end of their fic, and added scarian into the fic and because of the ship their fic is more popular than mine!!!!!! I'm upset still!!!!!!!! so to author of said fic I'm hunting you down btw xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

.

[elodiedreams]

My Conversation with Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Twenty years ago, I had a one-hour conversation with RFK Jr. In his current campaign for president, he has referred to that conversation during public appearances. It’s time to set the record straight

PAUL OFFIT

JUN 26

[sureuncertainty]

if i have to see one more post about disney from people who don't work here or at least live in the area i'm gonna lose it

[nowshesdoingitallthetime]

Came home to mama kirke on her way out of the door because she’s going to the hospital with a newly fractured her ankle, sincerely WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TODAY?!?

[duskmite]

it seems like everyone’s preoccupied with bucktommy and that’s great! but can we please for the love of god admit there has been some wack ass writing this season of 911 beginning with russian pirates hijacking a cruise liner for a bitcoin dongle

[baeshijima]

uhm

what the actual fuck :D

[butdotheykiss]

fans: you're gonna wrap everything up in the last two eps right?

midnight museum: yeah no worries we got this

midnight museum, in the last minute: LOL FUCK THAT HERES A CLIFF HANGER

fans: 👁👄👁

[mothfrogshroom]

Me: leaves the house

My body: I’m sorry what gave you the impression that you could do that?

[jodqriel]

noah fence to half the annihilation reviews on goodreads who didn't like that the ending was "inconclusive", but it's actually my favorite pasttime to be superbly confused and viscerally unsettled. it's called anxiety you should try it sometime xoxo

[girlcalledwhatsername]

I think this really just hits the nail on the head of this whole shit, honestly, like if you cannot draw the line at funding genocide then what are your morals? What incentive dobyour politicians have to do something good if they'll be elected anyway no matter what they do? How are the very real lives of millions of people outside of your imperial core just... Nothing... To you? How is it more important for us to understand a politician in murica has to avoid political suicide than it is for citizens to see - again of all thing of ALL things of ALL THINGS - to see genocide as the one thing you don't just let pass? Do you ever think beyond your myopic lens? Put pressure on the democrats to force them to put forward a better candidate if they want your vote instead of sending out the message that they have some sort of political immunity. Of course your vote is important so go ahead and hold it hostage because that's the only bargaining chip you have other than direct action. Idk it's so tone deaf and it's making me sick to have to see Americans talk about politics at home like it's all rhetorical and abstract and hand-wring about their leaders there is blood on those hands if not this then what? What would a person have to do to lose your unwavering support? Any person, any politician at all, what is the One Thing they would have to do for you to say "yeah I can no longer ideologically support this man or send out a message in any way that this was acceptable" what would that one thing be? Do you have that One Thing? Do you have principles? Does your mercy extend to the rest of us in this bitch of a planet? Good fucking God, it's sickening to see how blasé American citizens are about this subtle and constant dehumanising, where the rest of the world just becomes "global issues" for you to debate.

[shakespearerants]

Dieses Gefühl wenn man aus der Uni kommt und 30 min später eine WhatsApp in der Studiengangsgruppe ist dass das Gebäude in dem man gerade eben noch war offenbar brennt??? Mit einer Rauchwolke die man vom Dom aus sieht?????????

[victorluvsalice]

-->Anyway – Victor finished his food and headed to the bathroom while I had Alice go to the corner and listen to the classical music on the speakers to get away from the townies. And once Victor was done with his business over there, I sent him over to initiate a slow dance. <3 Because I like the Cute Romance slow dancing, darn it. I had them dance for a minute, then tried to initiate a dip kiss –

Cue MC Command Center dropping an error on me (though it looks like that was actually the result of Alice’s attempt to wait for her coffee going bad in the background – game, keep up, she got her coffee a while ago) and the glitchiest kiss in the world resulting as another Sim -- that fellow with the big bushy ponytail, named Joaquin -- came over to butt in on their conversation. *facepalm* I was annoyed enough about the broken dip kiss, but figured I could work with it as Victor and Alice continued chatting and joking –

-->And then JOAQUIN STRAIGHT UP FLIRTED WITH ALICE IN FRONT OF VICTOR. LIKE, GRABBED HER FACE LOVINGLY AND EVERYTHING. I had no idea WHAT the fuck was going on there, especially since Alice didn’t even KNOW this idiot! Pissed off, I cleared all conversations, had Victor go outside to play some chess, had Alice officially introduce herself to Joaquin –

And then had her insult his feeble nature before straight up SNARLING at him. That fucking ended his interest in her fast. >( But what the fucking hell, game?! I know I have it set up so Victor and Alice are poly and don’t get jealous, so this won’t actually be an issue for their relationship, but that still doesn’t mean I want random Sims coming up to my Sims and just flirting with them out of the blue! *sigh* Gonna have to check my MC Command Center and Wonderful Whims settings, I think...

-->Anyway – with THAT sorted, I had Alice use the bathroom, then join Victor outside to chat with him some more and continue her date with, you know, her beloved husband. One of like two people she likes touching her. Victor handed Alice a rose as a Love Day gift, which she gave a thumbs down to (seriously, game?) before making up for her fickleness by hitting him with a passionate kiss. Further cuteness followed as they talked about dreams, did a little more flirting, and ended the date on a fake romantic selfie. :) Meaning, despite everything, the date DID end up as a Gold-tier date, and they successfully fulfilled most of the traditions of the holiday. Just took a lot longer than I expected to get there. *sigh*

-->With their time at the Steampunk Cafe over, it was time for the pair to head back home, where random people wouldn't be grabbing at Alice's face. Victor settled in for a little bit with some romantic TV, while Alice transformed into her werewolf form to go for a hunt -- which, happily, also scored her an ability point! I had her take “Immortal Wolf” so she’s truly immortal, much like Smiler is. Now I just have to do Victor...perhaps one day we will be able to turn aging back on for this save! XD

Anyway, Smiler at this point had moved on from video games to chess -- I let them finish their latest game, then stopped them from taking a bath by having Victor hit them with Scruberoo instead (though they did still insist on going all the way up the stairs -.-), before sending them back downstairs to give Victor a chrysanthemum. Victor was fortunately in favor of being given this flower, and they shared a tender moment as Alice came back from her hunt. I made sure she was good, wolfing down on her meat –

[dweam-en-eff]

why does this always happen while im at work

[syluss-littlecrow]

massagers and misunderstandings

<sylus x fem!reader>

Haphazardly leaving your little toy in Sylus's room after your playtime wasn't part of the plan.

The good news is that the vibrator was in Sylus’s room.

The bad news is that the vibrator is currently in Sylus’s hands.

genre/warnings: smut, pwp, vibrator play x mirror sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex, sylus teasing the everloving shit out of you, breeding kink, (light) choking, dacryphilia, shit load of orgasms

w/c: 2.1k

a/n: shout out to the loml @rafsfishstick for helping me out with this and also giving me this fuck ass idea. Now y'all gna suffer with ME. you're welcome 🩷

Shit, shit, shit. Where is it?!

You've been flipping your whole bedroom upside down over an important missing device. You swore you kept it in the drawers of your room, or at least, you thought you did. 

Unfortunately, it went over your head that staying with Sylus for extended periods had you getting very comfortable with leaving your belongings around.

Including your vibrator. 

Well, Sylus didn't need to know about it. 

In your defense, it was lonely in the mansion without him. And when you did miss him while he was gone, you'd sneak into his room (not that he minded), lie on his bed and let his scent just engulf you completely. 

Well, you had your needs too. 

And usually you'd just keep your vibrator in your room within the mansion.

And unfortunately for you, this was not one of your usual times.

When the realisation hit you that you in fact did absentmindedly stash your toy hastily in one of his drawers during one of the nights when he told you he'd be away from town for a while, you bolted to his room, hoping, praying, that Sylus hadn't reached his chambers before you did.

The good news is that the vibrator was indeed in Sylus’s room.

The bad news is that the vibrator is currently in Sylus’s hands.

Fuck me, you think, a million useless excuses flooding in and out of your mind.

Maybe you could knock him out and snag the toy from his fingers.

Yeah, like that could ever fucking work with his level of reflexes. 

“Aren't you coming in, kitten?” 

His usual pet name sends goosebumps flooding your skin. 

“Good evening, Sylus”, you force a smile, trying to ignore the way he’s fidgeting with your vibrator. 

“This wouldn't happen to be yours, would it?” He asks, dangling the silicone vibrator before you. “I've never seen you use it before.”

You could smack the smug look off his face if you had the chance to, but for now, you force a smile, reaching out to take the device from him. 

“It's just a massager”, you lie horribly.

Of course he fucking shifts it away from your grasp.

He narrows his eyes at you and decorates his expression with a sharper smirk. 

“Right, because massaging devices look unassuming like this, and you happen to decide to have a little massage session in my room?” 

Fuck. 

There's no way out of this. 

His smirk fades. He puts an arm out to beckon you closer. 

His eyes reflect tints of something else, like a reminder that you're about to turn into his prey. 

And you can't help but always fall into his trap.

“Now, won't you show me how you use your little massager, sweetie?” 

You watch him twirl the vibrator between his slender fingers, touching and feeling the buttons on his fingertips. He has your legs spread apart in front of him at the edge of the bed. You’re carefully observing your partner as it takes him barely a few minutes to figure your toy out when it buzzes to life. 

“Don't look so scared, kitten. I'm not about to eat you”, the gaze Sylus is giving you says otherwise. Unfortunately, there's a twisted stem of anticipation that's slowly flooding your veins. You wonder what he's about to do to you, and it's getting you excited. 

He smirks when his gaze lands on the small damp patch of fabric on your pussy. He wants to make it bigger. 

Sylus grazes his knuckles against your clothes pussy, and it draws a gasp from you. 

“I have to say, sweetie, your little massager here has quite the strong vibrations”, Sylus teases. His arm curls around your legs, pulling you slightly closer to him, before he presses the buzzing toy on your clothed pussy. Despite the fact that you knew it was coming, you still jumped from the sensation instantly. 

You crunch your abdomen when you feel Sylus rolling the vibrator up and down your pussy, watching with sheer satisfaction at the way the dark patch on your pussy continues to grow darker and bigger. 

“How does it feel, kitten?” He asks with a smile, and you're not sure if you're getting soaked from the vibrator or from Sylus eye fucking you. 

“Tickles…” you force yourself to answer. You hear him hum from below, before your mind shuts off when he shifts the vibrator right to your clit, and applies pressure right there. 

But it's not enough.

You know he's fucking with you. He's teasing you–especially when he intentionally lowers the vibration to a dull buzz, taking away the build up, only leaving you whining for more. 

But at the moment where you're able to catch your breath, the vibration climbs in levels again, leaving you fisting the sheets and his shirt. Sylus removes his arm around your thigh, and hooks a slender on the damp piece of fabric, tugging it outwards.

“Should we get this out of the way, sweetie? It's bothering you isn't it?” 

You nod, still trying to regulate your breathing, your mind racing at the thought of Sylus being the one pressing your vibrator on your bare, wet, sticky pussy. 

He lets you close your legs to roll the panties off your hips, only to disappear behind you for a split moment. 

His husky voice rings in your ears. 

“Open, sweetie.”

You feel his fingers brush on your chin, and he gestures to you to face the front.

You're facing the mirror. 

The view of your legs spread open, the sight of your glistening pussy right before your reflection makes you swallow hard. 

Sylus’s finger slither down to your sopping folds, spreading your pussy open. 

“So fucking pretty for me, aren't you?” 

Your fingers clutch tightly against his shirt, the desperation for him to do just anything coming out as a beg when you whisper to him, “please, Sylus.”

His other hand switches on the vibrator once more, and he aims it right on your fucking clit. It makes you jump, and before you realise it, your orgasm hits you–white engulfing your vision, the pleasure shooting through your veins at lightning speed and your pussy uselessly and desperately clenching the air. Sylus captures your lips with his, eating your fucked out moans while he drags your orgasm out, rolling the toy in circles around your clit, collecting the sheer wetness with his fingers and vibrator.

He pulls the vibrator off you, at least, momentarily, to let you descend from your high. 

Sylus watches you through the mirror–you, in tears, a small puddle just under where you're sitting and just a creamy fucking mess your pussy is. 

“So this was what you were doing when I was gone?” 

He watches the way your ears turn red.

Sylus’s fingers keep you staring at him through the reflections.

“I got lonely when you weren't here…”

“Right. I'm sorry for that, sweetie. I should make it up to you, hm?”

You couldn't even proceed to ask him how before he lifts you onto his lap, and the view before you makes you swallow harder–his cock just resting against your bare pussy. 

His lips are pressed against the shell of your ear.

“If I told you that I crave so fucking much to just see you the moment I leave, would that leave your mind at ease?” 

“No”, you mutter, then gasp when he presses his dick along your folds, dragging his cock so painfully slowly against your pussy. “Nothing is enough if it's not you being here in the flesh.”

He chuckles–it feels warm and it spreads through all over your body. 

“Greedy kitten”, is all he replies before he stretches you open, taking the gorgeous sight of you completely falling apart for him as he fits his cock in you. 

“That’s a good girl for me. You're taking me so well. Fuck, look at you swallowing me up”, he groans, greedily wanting to just keep all the wet warmth for himself. 

It has been a couple of long weeks since he was gone, and fuck was his cock quite a stretch. He fills you up so fucking good every single time.

He listens to you sigh shakily, trying to adjust. He feels the way you're squeezing his thighs with your hand.

You feel so good around him. You feel so good for him. 

You hiccup when you feel Sylus thrusts his cock right into you again. You're so fucking overstimulated, your sensitivity climbing up in hundreds, but Sylus still trails the vibrator across your clit in pulses, making your head fall back against his shoulders, your moans bouncing off the walls of his room. It doesn't help that he's forcing you to soak in the sheer perversion of view that's presented before you. 

“You're squeezing me so much, kitten”, he hisses into your ears when he feels your pussy clench around him once more. He's in fucking heaven. 

But of course, he loves playing with his prey a little more. 

The moment he feels you start flutter, he lifts the vibrator off your clit. It makes you gasp.

Then he thrusts his hips upwards, pressing against your sensitive spots. You watch the way his cock just disappears in you, all the way in, and it's starting to make you light-headed. 

“Can your little vibrator make you make that face, kitten?” 

You see the tear stains that streak down your face, your eyes still watery. Fuck, of course it doesn't. 

“Maybe”, you answer shakily, and you watch his eyes fucking glow right before you in the mirror.

Sylus laughs.

“I guess I should change that, right?” He responds. His fingers are now on your throat, and his other hand lay flat on your thigh.

“Then I'd better make sure I make you see fucking stars. Fuck you hard and good, right?” 

His fingers tighten around your throat. 

Sylus is a fucking menace.

You don't even remember the existence of your vibrator. Not when Sylus is fucking the ever-loving shit out of you from below, and that you're watching it through the fucking mirror–every thrust detailed perfectly under the lights, his fingers cutting oxygen from you from time to time. 

He's forcing you to cum with his dick. 

And it's fucking working..

Much thanks to the horrible edging he's done to you, you're a fucking overstimulated mess–so sensitive and broken that when you're about to flood, you're begging him.

“Gonna cum, Sylus, please. I'm gonna cum so much. Fuckkkk-” 

It fountains out of you and pushes him out, spraying all over the mirror and the sheets. You don't know what Sylus is muttering in your ears but you know he's fucking slapping your pussy, more fluids spraying out to his satisfaction.

After the clear fluids, only the thick cream comes after, and Sylus doesn't hesitate to slide his cock back in, filling you up once more, cream settling and slicking down his shaft with every thrust. Your thighs are still twitching from how fucking good it feels.

“Have I told you that I adore ruining you so much? Because I do adore ruining you so much, sweetie”, he groans. His face contorts in pleasure so fucking beautifully in the mirror while he bottoms out in you, his cock twitching and letting thick streams of warm cum filling you up. He lets himself stay in your pussy for a second or two, before he pulls out, only a thin string of cum linking his cock and your pussy. 

Sylus forces you to watch his fingers once again pull open your pretty folds, and thick white seeps out of your hole in loads. 

You see him plant a kiss on your temple before he effortlessly scoops you up to wash up with him.

You swear you didn’t leave it in his room this time round. You learned your lesson. When Sylus had his butler change out the soiled sheets, you had pocketed back your vibrator and kept it in a safe part of your room so Sylus wouldn’t get his hands on it again. 

At least, that’s what you thought, because the vibrator seemed to have disappeared again. 

Shit, did you have to intrude into Sylus’s room again? Well sure, he was gone for a couple of days, so you used his bed for a couple of days…but you were sure as hell that you brought the vibrator back with you when you on the day Sylus came back. 

Unsuccessful with the search in Sylus’s room, you return back to yours, wondering if the mansion had just sucked up the vibrator into thin air. 

That is, until you see Sylus on your bed.

With your vibrator in his hands.