#what sam has been ASKING dean to share since john died

[angelsdean]

oh i wanna shake sam. his little outburst at dean when he finds out what john said before he died....what john put on dean isn't dean's fault and dean is right to want to lay low and stay out of harm's way. and sam, insecure and afraid, is hurling accusations and blame at dean, putting words in dean's mouth, and dean is repeatedly shouting "i didn't say that!" re: sam becoming evil but sam won't listen to a damn thing above his own internal thoughts

[shelbgrey]

✨Pookie😏✨Mother Pinecone🥳✨Fellow Simp🤩✨ can I request some lovely shrexy headcanons for the one and only Sammy Winchester😳 I just need some fluff and steamy steamy spicy headcanons please🥹 I’ll pay😉🫴💰💳💵

Dating Sam Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Sam Winchester X Singer!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Sam dating Bobby Singer's kid. -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚MoodBoard

Between Sam being John's kid and you being Bobby's, you spent a lot of time together as kids.

You were always closer to Sam, you and him bonded over books and you were both the quiet ones.

It was obvious there was something between you two even when you were kids, but you were both completely clueless.

“the only two people who don't know Sam and y/n like each other are Sam and y/n” - Dean

But then he went off to college, you guys talked through letters and Emails for the first few months. Then he met Jes and you guys talked less and less.

Deep down Sam knew he dated Jess just to get over you, but then he felt awful to think that way after she died.

He never would have expected that you'd show up with Dean, telling him John was missing. Sam honestly hated to see the skilled hunter you have become, he always thought you deserved better.

Deep down he knew he stayed for you. College didn't matter much to him anymore and neither did finding his dad. He rekindled his friendship with you and wanted to protect you.

Hell, he would take you away from the hunting life if he could.

Before you knew it the three of you were a trio again. Saving people and hunting things together.

Then before you knew it you and Sam both fell back in to your original, clueless act you had with each other. It pissed Dean off, because he knew you guys liked each other.

Dean also knew neither one of you had the balls to admit your feelings. So he took matters into his own hands.

“Hey, y/n, you busy Saturday night?” Dean asked one night. “no?”

“Sammy, you sure as hell ain't busy” Dean joked, Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “yeah... I'm not”

“good, because I am... You two go out and have a good time” Dean told you both.

Yeah Dean asked you out on a date for Sam. Both of you had mixed reactions, you didn't know how to proses what what just happened and Sam was just annoyed Dean was getting up in his business. Dean didn't stop you guys from going out.

he is sweet and gentle when he kisses you. The kisses you and him share are always sweet and full of passion. He pours everything into his kisses when his lips are on yours.

He definitely said 'I love you.' he said it after he had to save you from a vampires nest he told you he couldn't lose you and he loves you.

Sam would be the one to encourage you to go on rants or nerd out about things your passionate about. He'll listen beginning to end. If your like: “sorry if I'm talking too much” Sam will say: “no, no, keep going. I'm listening”

Not being stuck in his Tuesday time loop, but helping the best you can.

Sam's Hugs are warm and tight. Since he's so much taller than you he usually picks you up and holds you to his chest as your legs are wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck holding him tight.

he promised to himself and you that if you were to get hurt by anything and he did mean anything at all, he would kill it. Even the smallest cut or bruse on you, he would freak out and with a gun in his hand, he would go after the very thing that dared to put a wound on you.

Sex with him has always been on the Adventurous side, but he learns your limits quickly and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. But when soulless Sam shows up there's no slowing down.

Even though Soulless Sam is hot one of the things he cares about most is sex and it might seem that's all he wants at the time, but the moment you get hurt the person or thing that hurt you is in a heaping pile of blood and broken bones.

Research dates all the time, you think it's boring as hell but your happy just to he able to spend time with him.

He's a health nut so he's always getting on to you and dean about your eating habits. “you know those things could kill you, right?” Sam asks as he watches you drink a monster energy drink, you'll just shrug him off.

You appreciate his concerns and you do back off on some stuff and let him cook you a healthy meal.

“what is that?” you asked staring at the blender in Discussed. “it's a smoothy, its good for you” he said pouring you a cup. “it's green goop”

✨Forehead kisses✨ he's a giant after all, so it's easier and convenient to just give you a little kiss on the forehead. He also loves it when your setting in his lap and giving him the same treatment.

Matching bracelets. Jack went through a friendship bracelet making phase and you made a couple with him. You and Sam both have one, he refuses to take it off. “you don't have to wear it”

“no, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off”

You and Sam are literally Jack's parents, you probably end up adopting him at some point.

Never giving up on getting him out of hell, you hated the fact Dean when to live with Lisa. So while he got a girlfriend you were threatening crossroad demons for awnsers.

Making dirty jokes with Dean all the time to annoy Sam.

If Dean pranks Sam, you'll help get back at Dean. One time you convinced Sam to have sex in the impala just to piss Dean off.

Lucifer has the undying love for you and hits on you all the time, it pisses Sam off to no end.

Getting to see Sully first hand because he knew how much Sam ment to you and Sully just really wanted to meet the person that made Sam so happy.

Jody being a mother to you.

He absolutely loves feeling your fingers run through his hair. He'll kill to have his head on your cheat while you play with his hair after a rough hunt.

If your a smut book you get really secretive about and he'll notice quickly. “What you reading?” you blush and hold the book away from him. “nothing”

If he gets a hold of the book and reads a steamy part if the book, he'll probably want to try what he read too.

This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.

He wants to hold your hand all the time too, if your walking around the bunker or a town your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had while doing research.

Communication won't be a problem in your relationship. You both just find it so easy to talk to each other.

But if you get into a fight, your fight loud and mean. There will be the silent treatment.

He's a bed hog so get used to sleeping right on top of him or right up against him because there's no room for personal space when you share a bed, especially if it's a motel bed.

He also hogs blankets.

You have bad sex in the bunker library, do with that information as you will.

You steal his flannels all the time, they're just so big and comfy.

He's good at turning you on😏

NSFW headcanons:

Sammy has a size kink, he loves the fact you are shorter than him. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and throw you around without even trying.

likes to pretty much fuck you stupid. like to the point your shaking, you only can think of his dick and babbling his name. you probably won't be walking the next morning.

he's ✨skilled✨ with his hands, those big massive hands. it doesn't matter what he's doing with them, in between your legs, your face, around your neck, in your hair, I don't matter he knows what he's doing.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

He didn't realize how much he actually liked it untill you started pulling on his hair while he was eating you out. “Damn... Do that again... Please”

Biting, he's loves marking you up. There has been many times you had to cover your neck with makeup, but most of the bite marks are on your thighs.

But he also lives for the moments where it's just sensual and gentle. He secretly loves just holding you and kissing you slowly.

He wants to see if he can he make you scream louder than he did the last time. He loves the noises you make.

He well bend you over the table in the bunker library and take you from behind.

The desk will creak from the force he uses and his large body will presse you hard against the desk.

He loves hearing the moans and gasps coming out of your mouth.

Part of him will want you to be louder, even though he knew you aren't supposed to be sometimes.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Sam loves being dominate towards you. Choking you and edging you. “come on, Baby. Cum for me again”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

“that’s it baby, there you go. takining me so well, honey.”

Sam loves the way his hands look on your body. Even better if you’re smaller than him, he just wants to be touching you all the fucking time.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

Sam first thought after sex he's always checking on you, making sure it felt good and your not sore. He is very gentle, cleaning you up and giving you anything you need before even thinking of himself.

[pagannatural]

2.03 Bloodlust

-Sam flirts with Dean by telling him (and the Impala) to get a room. Meanwhile he’s looking at Dean like this and the two of them are, literally, getting a room.

-Sam tells the bartender “we’re looking for some people” and the bartender says “sure, hard to be lonely.”

Sam blinks wide, grimaces. Dean looks at him, assessing. Sam looks down and then at Dean while he says “yeah, but, um…” slowly, then he regroups and pulls out a fifty, “that’s not what I meant.” There’s a sexual implication to being lonely and looking for someone at a bar, and the brothers share a very loaded look about it. It’s like this bartender accidentally hit on a truth.

Sam has been lonely for Dean. He’s been trying to get Dean to talk to him and spend time with him since their dad died, and Dean has been shutting Sam out emotionally. Sam knows Dean is lonely for him too, even though he won’t say it.

-Sam notices something is off when Dean says he’s been itching for a hunt. He and Dean also make prolonged eye contact after Dean kills a vampire and his face is spattered with blood, and Sam notices Dean is unsettled. They give each other strength just by staring into each others eyes. Sam’s always paying attention to Dean.

-Dean also notices right away that Sam’s off and asks him if he’s okay. Noticing Sam, for him, is less watchful and more like noticing the orbit of his own moon. Gravity’s off, something’s up with Sam.

-Sam went from correcting Dean every time he used Sam’s nickname to “he’s the only one who gets to call me that.” It’s so possessive, like he’s saying I’m his not yours. Dean notices and smiles to himself. Then he says “Sammy remind me to beat that buzzkill outta you later” you’re gonna do what to him later?

-Sam’s development from telling Dean he has to let him go to identifying him as the only one who can use his nickname is also the change from Sam seeking distance to Sam acquiescing to being Dean’s.

-Dean tells Gordon a story about killing a monster at 16 while Sammy waited in the car. He didn’t need to mention where Sammy was, he wasn’t a part of the story, but he has a condition* that makes him talk about Sammy to strangers whenever he’s not there (*wretched, soul-crushing love).

-Dean tells Gordon he always thought of his dad as indestructible. Now he’s questioning everything about his dad’s teachings and realizing the version of John in his head is not the only one.

-Sam says he sees through Dean’s fake smile and knows how Dean feels, because he feels the same way. When Sam says that Dean’s behavior is “an insult to [John’s] memory,” Dean kind of nods and raises his eyebrows like “you have no fucking idea” before punching Sam in the face.

-For once, Sam is way off about Dean. He has no idea how Dean feels or what he’s dealing with. The idea of insulting vs honoring John’s memory is complicated for Dean right now. He’s seeing Sam being protective of John for maybe the first time ever and I can just imagine Dean thinking, I raised you, and the man you finally want to respect as your father asked me to kill you.

-Dean looks regretful after he punches Sam, like he’s realizing he took it too far, and Sam looks hurt and taken aback, his eyes searching to and away from Dean and his mouth open. And then Sam tells Dean, “you can hit me all you want. It won’t change anything.”

There are some potential layers to that.

1. They’re arguing about something else here, at the same time—whether or not vampires can choose to act ethically or if they’re inherently evil. Sam implores Dean not to kill them, believing the former. Dean wants killing to be black and white due to Dead Dad’s Last Words reasons. Hitting Sam won’t make the issue any clearer.

2. Sam’s words could be interpreted as “you can hurt me all you want and it won’t change how I feel.” About Dean. Or “whatever you do it won’t change the way things are.” Between them.

3. Sam has been begging Dean to give him something real and emotional, he’s been pushing and pushing him to get a reaction, escalating and becoming more desperate. Now Dean has responded. He’s hurt Sam, but that means he’s touched him out of uncontrollable emotion—or better yet has chosen to inflict his feelings and needs upon Sam’s body. The pain is better than nothing.

It’s hard to be lonely.

-When I first saw this scene I was shook. Dean hit his baby brother! My best guess is that Dean has never punched him like this before, outside of the context of sparring. I might be wrong about that, but the way Sam accepts the punch and turns slowly back to Dean with that disbelieving look felt too significant. I thought Sam was going to feel betrayed or scared, but Sam’s resolve strengthens, he gazes after Dean, and then he follows him.

And then things go right back to normal between them.

-Another thing Sam is missing is that Dean trusts Gordon partially because Dean can identify with Gordon. Gordon said he hunts vampires because vampires killed his sister, and Dean trusts another protective brother.

-Sam tracks the nest and Dean says “you’re good. You’re a monster pain in the ass, but you’re good.” Just like that they’re reconciled. Sam’s face is probably still throbbing, it’s been like 3 minutes.

-When Gordon pulls a knife on Sam and admits he killed his sister himself, it’s over for him. Dean is not having any of that.

-Dean punches Gordon in the face in front of Sam, then moves really close to Sam to tell him they can leave now. It’s like he wants Sam to see what he’ll do to anyone who threatens him. Dean is the only one who’s allowed to hurt Sam. He also asks Sam to punch him to get him back, so he clearly feels guilty.

-Dean’s true nature is a huge theme in this episode. He’s trying to understand who he is. Gordon tells him that he was “born to hunt” and “a killer like me.” John wrote the same things about child-Dean in his diary.

At the end of the episode, Dean tells Sam that he has the instinct to kill and would’ve killed the vampires. That’s how he was raised, it’s what John told him to do. I love how Dean is a caregiver and a killer in equal measure, he takes naturally to both violence and nurturing.

Sam reminds him he made the right choice. Dean says “yeah cause you’re a pain in my ass.” He made the decision because of Sam. He’ll kill for Sam but he’ll also decide not to kill for Sam.

Sam says “I guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass then.” Dean thanks him and gazes at him intently. Even here, notice the mention of their connection being painful.

Sam is now agreeing to stick with Dean not because of what John would’ve wanted but because he’s accepting his role as Dean’s guiding light, the one thing that gives him a sense of purpose and good.

Dean’s purpose is not killer or caregiver, but protector. He’s guardian of Sam’s soul.

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Season 7: Deaths Door

So, I’m watching a reactor who just got to this episode. Yes, this is another post based around reaction videos. No it’s not the same one I wrote about last time (if I have any followers who keep track). Yes, I have a reactors on the go currently, and sadly, two of them are on seasons I don’t like much (Season 7 and Season 15), so it’s a bit rough going right now.

Anyway, I think the episode where Bobby dies is a good one, though it is definitely sad. There are quite a few moments that really stand out for me. First, Dean punching the glass when the organ donor guy comes to talk to him while Bobby is still alive is really impactful. You understand and empathize with Dean so hard in that moment, and I think he showed unusual restraint in punching the glass rather than the man. My guy, what the hell are you doing asking someone about organs while their loved one is fighting for their life? Next, Sam pressing on his palm while he tries to wrestle with the reality of Bobby dying is heartbreaking to me. I think this is a moment that some people miss, but it hurts so much while it reminds me that Sam, while he mostly looks okay on the outside, is still dealing with the aftermath of his soul being locked in the cage with Lucifer for 180 years. The guy is struggling with reality on a daily basis, thinks he doesn’t have it so bad just because others experience "worse," and is now losing his surrogate dad. Finally, Bobby's memories of the boys being just totally average little moments of them acting like typical brothers is very wholesome. Though, I enjoy all of Bobby’s memories (Rufus!) and what they show us about Bobby. Really good episode overall.

Now, here is where my … problem (I guess I’ll go with that term) comes in. I like this reactor because they are entertaining, and they tend to try look at things from both brothers' points of view most of the time, but they said two things that irked me a bit while watching the episode, especially because they seem to be opinions shared by a lot of viewers. Obviously opinions are going to be subjective, so I don’t think this reactor is being unfair. I just don’t fully agree. First, they said that they feel especially bad for Dean in this episode because he has been through so much. Second, they suggest that Bobby's death might be harder on the boys because Bobby was more of a father to them than John was.

Please see my thought under the cut

So, tackling the first idea, I don’t object to feeling bad for Dean this season or the idea that he has been through too mich. At all. I object to the implied idea that he has somehow been through more or worse than Sam at this point in the show, and thus deserves more sympathy. Excuse me, but, what!? Let’s not delve all the way back through their history because that could go on forever, instead let’s just look at Season 6 and Season 7 (up to this point).

Let’s start with Dean. He experienced the pain of having a soulless Sam back, who didn’t particularly care about him. This is essentially one of his worst nightmares, so I understand him reeling from this for a while. He gained and lost a family, and picked up a heap more loss and guilt to deal with from leaving them. He was betrayed by his "best friend," who also hurt his brother just to stop Dean from interfering with his purgatory plan. He has to "deal with" Sam suffering from hallucinations. He broke a leg. He’s had to temporarily give up his baby. And now Bobby, his surrogate dad, is dying. These are all very hard things, and I truly feel bad for Dean having to go through them, but he’s also done things to add to his own misery this season, like kill Amy and lie to Sam about it and drink his face off instead of coping with his depression and guilt. Dean is his own worst enemy, and it sometimes affects the empathy I have for him.

Now, let’s look at Sam. Since Season 6, Sam has to come to terms with the fact that while he was soulless he did absolutely terrible things, things that he has to now remember and live with, even though in his normal state he never would have done them. He was also betrayed by Cas. First, Cas brought him back soulless, and while I don’t think he knew what exactly was wrong with Sam, he knew something was off and then proceeded to ignore Sam when he reached out to him about it. Then, he betrayed him by breaking his hell-wall just to distract Dean; he risked destroying Sam's mind entirely just to get Dean out of his way. Now, Sam is the one who is actually suffering from hallucinations, which have never gone away up to this point, rather he just learns to distinguish them from reality and go about his business. The show doesn’t remind us of this constantly, so I kind of understand audiences not actively thinking about this. Still, what Sam is experiencing in Season 7 is horrific. On top of all this, he’s worrying about Dean because of his drinking and depression. And now he too is losing Bobby, and he didn’t even have a sweet one-on-one memory to fall back on with Bobby unless he did and it just wasn’t significant enough for Bobby to remember. While Cas' betrayal probably hurt Dean more because Cas was closer to him at this point, what he did still has to hurt Sam, too; it even made him wonder if Cas brought him back soulless on purpose.

Now, my whole point with this is not that people should feel worse for Sam than Dean, but that it seems crazy to me to feel more empathy for Dean than Sam at this point. Dean has to worry about Sam's mental state, but Sam is the one living it. Meanwhile, Sam is worried about Dean's mental state, which is poor partially because of what’s happening with Sam these codependent boys have both been through way too much in the last Season and a half alone. Just because Sam isn’t as demonstrative with his emotions as Dean a lot of the time doesn’t mean he isn’t also in pain. So, I empathize strong,y with both of them in this situation of losing Bobby on top of everything else.

Finally, the idea that Bobby is Sam and Dean "real" dad is one I always take issue with. John is not perfect by any means, but he did love his sons. He literally sold his soul to save Dean. This is not nothing. Dean has fond memories of him, and Sam had a nice moment with him and laughed with him in "Dead Man's Blood." When John first sees his boys after months (years for Sam) apart, he hugs them both. This is not a dad who doesn’t love his kids. His harshness was a result of fear for the boys most of the time, not unlike how Dean treated Ben when he was worried about him and Lisa at the end of Season 6. I’m not saying this is right, or that he couldn’t be too harsh, but they are living extraordinary experiences. John raised his kids like soldiers, but if he hadn’t they’d probably have died sooner. And the fact that they called him Sir, didn’t mean that he was only a Drill Sargent to them. Moreover, even though John made a ton of mistakes, his death was absolutely devastating for both Sam and Dean. Bobby on the other hand, may have "adopted two boys" in his heart, but he wasn’t perfect either. He’s been harsh with both of them at times, sometimes fairly, other times not as fairly, and he clearly has a favorite, which isn’t ideal in a father figure. Yes, he brought Dean to play catch, but an uncle might do that too, and did he ever do something like that for Sam? I like Bobby, I really do, and I think he’s a good surrogate but he is not their "real" dad, either. And while a terrible blow, I don’t think his death has equal impact on the boys to John’s.

Anyway, that’s it on this one. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.

What are your thought any of this?

[twistedshipper]

Did you share anything about "Burning Till You're Cold"? Because if not, I want to hear! :)

Thank you, Jacquelyn! I'm so excited that you asked me about this fic, as it's one that's been simmering in the back of my mind for a long time now (and one I hope to focus on once I finish SL).

The idea for the fic is actually older than SL and, unlike the other wips I have, is set in the verse of spn but without anything overtly supernatural; it's just the characters facing their real world struggles.

The fic is about Dean in his early twenties trying to look out after Sam and himself after the difficult upbringing they've had under John's roof since their mother died.

I'm not sure about much of the plot but I have the first chapter written. In it Dean takes a drive out of Lawrence to clear his head and winds up at a dive called Harvelle's (which is located closer to Lawrence than in the show), where he meets Jo, who likewise, has her own fair share of struggles (similar to the show she dropped out of school because she didn't belong there and is helping her mom out at the bar), and the two hit it off.

Other things about the fic is that Sam (like in s7) is a psych ward patient (and is inpatient at the start of the fic), going in and out of the hospital ever since his first psychotic break while he was away at school at Stanford (which I'm very attached to as an idea as it's inspired from the show as much as my own experiences).

There's also this dark undercurrent in the fic that deals with themes of abuse which would be a major spoiler to share here so I won't. Instead I'll leave some snippets from the first chapter:

It was his first time getting wasted (publicly, that was, and without company) and it was his first time at this bar, located at the outskirts of his hometown of Lawrence, Kansas, dead set in the middle of the U.S. Why he came here as opposed to his usual haunts, he didn’t really know, other than that creeping feeling on his skin that told him he wanted the hell out of home and anything that reminded him of the stench and stain of that old house, its memories: the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it.  He so desperately wanted out, that in a flash of recklessness, one would call impulse, he stole his father’s keys as he lay passed out on the couch senseless and took his wheels, telling himself to keep on driving until he crossed the city limits.

Well, he didn’t get that far. He saw the flickering neon lights beckoning out to him from the roadside and on another whim, thought he’d pull in for a drink. He certainly deserved one after the last few days, even though a part of him felt guilty for the indulgence, knowing full well that his kid brother wasn’t flying so high and free.

Not that Dean was either; if anything, he was running, running from his family, his problems, his responsibilities, that weight he carried inside himself, pressing hazardously into his chest. Was it too much to ask for one night just to lose himself?  Like all those nights his father lost himself in drink?  A part of him felt hesitant, afraid even to become the man, but well, these were desperate times, times that called for desperate measures.  So going on nothing but gut, as he ever did, he pulled into the lot, parked, and pushed his way through the double doors into a haze of smoke and sorrows potentially worse than his own.

And here's an interaction between Dean and Jo (because I love them so much):

“What about you?” she asked after a pause.  “Why are you here on a cold Thursday night in November?”

“Ahh,” he began fumbling for words.  “You really don’t want to know.”

“Try me,” she said. 

He bit his lip.  “Well, it’s a tough situation,” he said, repeating her choice of word.  “You see my brother…” he suddenly stopped himself, shook his head.  “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but, um, he’s…” he turned away then, scared that he might just break down and cry in front of her, this girl he only just met.  He had to gather himself and quickly. 

“He’s okay, right?” he heard her ask, from where she stood, huddled in his jacket that dwarfed her.

“Yeah,” he said turning back to face her.  “Of course, he’s fine.  Totally.  But you know, it’s my responsibility to look out for him, and sometimes that’s hard.”

He stopped himself and caught her watching him with a look all her own.  “What?” he said.

“It’s nothing,” she said.  “Just…”

She was about to speak when suddenly an old pickup pulled up, bathing the two of them with its headlights. 

“Is that…?” she asked instead.

“Yeah, that’s him,” Dean said with an awkward wave towards Bobby who looked miffed in the driver’s seat. 

“Here, let me give you this back,” she said quickly, taking off the jacket and handing it to him.

He took it from her gently and she went back to crossing her arms, to protect herself from the cold.  “Thanks,” he said.  “You better get back inside.”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling slightly, “and you better not keep him waiting.”

“Right,” he said, and turned to hop in the passenger seat.

“Oh, and Dean?”

He dropped his hand from the latch, turning back to face her.  “Yeah?”

“Take care of yourself, won’t you?”

He nodded.  In the moment it was all that he could do.

Bobby beeped the horn.

And the moment, whatever it was between them, was over.  He opened the truck door and shuffled in, and in the span of time it took him to fasten his seatbelt, she was already slipping through the front doors of the bar, as a pair of men came stumbling out.  A part of him, however drunk and senseless, hoped she would turn back and wave at him, but the door shut behind her and she was safe inside and warm.

So much for that, he thought.  Now it was time to face the situation at hand and he expected Bobby to smack him upside the head and yell at him for taking his dad’s car all the way out in the middle of nowhere only to get smashed stupid.

But Bobby didn’t speak right away as they pulled out of Harvelle’s Roadhouse and onto the road and that’s when Dean looking back at the old dive noticed that a light snow had begun to fall, each flake glittering under the streetlamps like a tiny iridescent star.

Thank you again for asking me about this fic. (I was hoping someone would.) You've reignited my interest in it and now I'm just craving to write it, haha. ❤

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e3 the foundry (w. robert berens)

we're back in minnesota. i lived in st paul for a few years. here waxing poetic about the skyways in minneapolis while watching 8x03

avocado toast, dude with a bun, how very millenial?? (me trying to remember when hipsters died out and it went to just ragging on the whole generation. dean and i are at the cusp of gen x but sammy is solidly geriatric millenial, right :p)

you understand babies crying is like. me fighting against every instinct to find and help the baby. which is especially annoying when it's a baby on the tv. it's not as bad now since my youngest is 5, less on red alert for baby crying but it's still a thing for me and it can stress me the fuck out

i would not be able to pass the crying baby haunted house lure

MARY After you left heaven, when did it start to feel like...like you fit, like you...belonged here? CASTIEL Well, I'm still not sure I do. Mary...you do belong here.

my feelings aside, boys think you do too, cas. and feeling for mary. she got pulled out of heaven (presumably - and with john, presumably? may have read something saying they shared a heaven too) and plonked down with her adult sons who she doesn't know at all, really.

egads what is this music? kind of sounds like recorder/theremin solo. also that's really short you're going there mary! new hair new you, i get it, but doing that big of a chop at home is an undertaking

suspension of disbelief that she managed that very modern cut and styling all alone in the bunker

MARY I'm gonna keep it short if I'm gonna go out on a hunt, you know? Why give the bad guys the advantage of long pullable hair right? DEAN Wow. I've been trying to tell Sam that for years.

vry cute. i'd seen that in a gifset and i was looking for it but searching for the episode just gives me wall to wall cas gifs :p

MARY It's probably nothing. I just thought I might...get out there, stretch my legs. SAM I-I thought you-you weren't down to hunt in the first place. DEAN Well things change, right? Family hunting trip.

poor mary. just trying to get some time alone to sort out her head and dean's not picking up what she's putting down. E for effort

ok i can see some potential with the grumpy and obnoxious buddy cop routine between cas and crowley

aw they're holding hands, how nice

CROWLEY So mother and I had an unfortunate, if not rather embarrassing, run-in with Lucifer. You're just mad because you're only my second choice for a Lucifer-hunt team-up. CASTIEL (said sarcastically) No, actually I think it's sweet. I thought your motivation was ambition and revenge, but now I know you just wanna save your mother. CROWLEY It's not about saving her. Lucifer has made off with a colossally powerful witch who, by the way, is the only person alive who can slam him back in the cage. He will either kill her, control her, or she will offer her services to the biggest bad in town in order to save her neck, like she always does. Do any of those sound like particularly good outcomes to you?

crowley comin in hot with the logic. see that's another thing that irks me about how they write cas. he's snarky, then he's a buffon. he understands sarcasm and knows every pop culture reference via metatron zap, the he takes everything literally and is constantly confused. PICK ONE. preferably the sarcastic snarky one :p

quietly asking for mark pellegrino to get magicked back for lucifer

MARY Hmm. Mm, maybe, but...all I know is, that little boy who grabbed me, I...he didn't wanna hurt me. He was scared. SAM Yeah, um...it must've felt that way, but, mom, the victims were all lured to their death by a baby's cry. Uh, the spirit marked Natalia right before she was killed, the same way the spirit marked you. I mean, if we hadn't gotten there in time...

mushy music returns but i already used my video quota on the weird recorder music

SAM Look, I'm happy, too, Dean. I am. I'm overjoyed. But...there's something about her. I mean, something's going on with her. DEAN Yeah, she's adjusting. SAM No, she's struggling. I mean, she's trying to bury herself in hunting to avoid dealing. DEAN And how do you know that? SAM Years of personal experience. I don’t know man. Uh...like mother, like sons.

hey sammy, does that mean you're gonna force dean (and yourself) to deal with all of y'all's shit too :p

ok also slightly suffocating that she's trying to get some space and now she's crammed into one hotel room with her very large sons. so who got the rollaway bed? mary because she's the smallest, but i can't imagine dean standing for that. maybe rock paper scissors with sam

okay that made me laugh. here for rowena being tricksy

the music in this episode continues to be weird. i really don't understand why it stands out so negatively so frequently to me

DEAN Mom, it's okay. All right? You're home now. MARY No. I'm not. I miss John. I miss my boys. SAM We're right here, mom. MARY I know. In my head. But I'm still mourning them as I knew them. My baby Sam. My little boy Dean. Just feels like yesterday, we were together in heaven, and now...I'm here, and John is gone, and they're gone. And every moment I spend with you reminds me every moment I lost with them. And I thought hunting, working, would clear my head. SAM Mom...w-what are you trying to say? MARY I have to go. I'm sorry. I'm so...so sorry. I just need a little time.

(mushy music round 2)

well. that's shitty. can see where i'd gotten the "mom walked out on them" thing from fic. but as ever, i can see both sides on that one. being yanked out of literal heaven without any say in the matter, thrown into an unfamiliar world and feeling useless. some time and space is totally reasonable. and i don't know that dean would have given that if she stayed in the bunker. but also, can see how hurt and abandoned that could leave the boys feeling. no-win situation. and not entirely sure why we're even doing this resurrected mary plotline.

[ababycoffeecollectionfan-blog]

Supernatural

I’m rewatching SPN for the convention in a few months, and I think the show would have been better if Dean was canon bisexual since season 1. Like, Sam knew but John didn’t. Dean liked going on hunts with Sam because he didn’t have to be in the closet. Sam didn’t understand why Dean hadn’t left their dad, who was outwardly homophonic. Dean would make jokes to Sam about how he has a better type in men than Sam, or things like that. When Sam goes on his thing about how he was meant to be a killer, Dean would be like “And I was me g to be straight, but I still fuck guys” or when Sam was upset that Dean sold his soul, Dean would joke “I’m gay, Sammy. I was already going to go to hell.” In season 2, Dean and Andy (The guy with the mind control powers) would have totally slept together. When people would assume that Dean and Sam were a couple, Dean would reply “I am so out of his league.” And explain they were siblings, and that Sam was straight. Dean could have had a scene when he came out to Bobby. Crowley and Dean would have had a canon sextual relationship instead of just subtextual.

Don’t get me started on Castile. After they first meet him, Bobby making fun of Dean for how smitten he was with Castile. Later, Dean kissing Cas during the day they all think they are gonna die. Dean blaming it on being drunk and Cas not understanding why Dean would like him. Sam knowing the truth. After Sam was brought back, and Cas said they have a more profound bond, Dean blushing and leaving the room. Sam asking Cas if he has feelings for Dean. Cas being confused, and Sam talking to him about romantic attraction.

Cas working with Crowley being all the more heartbreaking because Dean loved him, and he thought that Cas might love him back. Dean having a lunch or emotions when Cas died, and trying to get Sam okay, and then CAs comes back and takes on Sams insanity. And him being jealous of Meg.

The hole “Id rather have you, cursed or not..” Being explicitly romantic. Like, no subtext, it was just Deans way of saving he loved him and wanted to be with him. Then in purgatory, then being together, in canon. Having scenes where they kiss and CAs watching over a Dean as he sleeps because CAs doesn’t need sleep. Cas being protective of Dean and not really trusting Benny. Then Dean, coming back to life again, being devastated by Cas “abandoning” him, and being with Benny to distract him. Sam having reservations about Benny and why Dean moved on so fast.

Then when CAs comes back, Dean feeling guilty and happy. Cas wanting to be with Dean again, but being hurt when he finds about about Benny. Cas beating Dean up under mind control being sadder because instead of saying “I need you” Dean saying “I trust you”, “I believe in you” or “I love you.” Which causes CAs to stop. Then he heals Dean, kisses him for the first time since purgatory, and leaves.

Dean and CAs being able to be humans together when Cas can feel more human attraction to Dean, but still choosing to be an angle, even though it dampers his range of feelings for Dean. Dean understanding, but CAs still going out of his was to make Dean understand that he did not choose anything over Dean, and that Dean is everything to him.

Dean and Crowley relationship being the opposite of what CAs and Deans was. Where CAs and Dean shared small kisses and held hands, Dean and Crowley was lustful, not loving.

Cas confused with Dean and Amaras relationship. Dean confused with it as well. Dean introducing Cas to his mom as his boyfriend, the first time he called Cas that. (It was just something that everyone accepted, Dean and CAs were together) Cas being more focused on Jack breaks Dean heart a bit, and he gets jealous.

Dean grieving Cas on a level he never had before after Lucifer kills him becuase at that point they had been together for around 5 years. Dean resenting Jack because he blames him for Cas death, but also loving him because he is Cas’s son, and that’s what CAs would want.

Dean and Cas having Tombstone as their official back-together episode, where Jack asks about the relationship, and Cas explains how he loves Dean to him. Dean and CAs decide to get married. It’s a spur of the moment discussion, and they go to the courthouse and get married the same day (they fake a bunch of documents), and buy matching silver rings. Michal possessing Dean hurting Cas because he knew that Dean was never meant to be with him, Dean and Michael were the paring. Cas hating God for making Dean Moxbael’s sword. In the Lebanon episode, John and Dean having a moment where Dean tells John that he’s bisexual, and that he is in love with CAs, and his a hole monologue about how he cares about Cas and how amazing Cas in, Cas hearing it, and kissing Dean infrount of John. John shaking Cas hand and asking questions about angels. Sam being proud that Dean stood up to John.

Dean blaming Cas for Mary’s death. The heartbreak of Jacks death, as he was Dean and Cas’s son. Cas wanting to use it was a reason they would be together, Dean wanting nothing to do with Cas. In The Trap, having a scene where they talk about their relationship, and how they have to be honest with each other and how that is the only way it’s going to work. Dean, not completely forgiving CAs, but agreeing to give him a second (or 3rd or 4th) chance, because he loves him. Cas opening up about how it hurt him that Dean let Micheal posses him, and how he’s always felt insecure about that. Dean assuring CAs that he has nothing to feel insecure about, and assuring Cas that Dean always had and always will chose Cas over almost anyone, the only exception being Sam or Jack.

Dean screaming after Cas’s death. Him being completely devastated and crying and just broken after Cas died. Sam having to literally pick him up off the floor where he cried himself asleep and Sam already knowing what happened when he saw Dean in his state. Jack holding Dean afterwards and trying to comfort him, and Dean just drinking a lot to feel better.

Then when he dies, and he sees Bobby, and Bobby tells him CAs is here, he asks where and they have a happily ever after.

[paradisecas]

i’ll love you or die trying

@midamoulweek day 4: So he says, “Well, what you’re doing is, there’s something bad happened. And you’re going back thinking that you can make it right. Something went wrong, and you keep going back to see if you can fix it, or somehow make it right.”

And I sat there, and I said, “That is what I’m doing.”

And he said, “Well, you can’t.”

shared body midamoul inspired by this post from @ckneal

The world is empty when Michael stands in Adam’s old neighborhood.

It’s eerily quiet; no children in the street, no cars on the road. Adam’s house has been boarded up; nobody sold it, nobody bought it. Inside is a relic of Adam’s past that he was too afraid to revisit while he had the chance. Michael wonders if the crime scene tape is still up, if Adam knew it’s not the house he left behind or the one they lived in together for so long. 

Storm clouds are brewing in the sky behind him and he can feel static electricity coursing through the veins that are not his. They’re his fault, just like everything else is.

This rapture that could have been prevented had he stepped up instead of running away. Adam’s millennia of suffering that could have been avoided if he hadn’t been so impatient. The Milligans’ brutal deaths that he merely sat by and watched happen. 

“I’ve never seen this place so dead,” a voice murmurs in the back of his mind. 

This creature that would have stayed dead had Michael not been so negligent in the days leading up to the apocalypse. 

“I mean, I know it’s dead because everyone’s gone, but it’s still weird,” the voice continues. 

Michael simmers with an exhausted rage. 

How is it that he was unable to save Adam, arguably the most important, wonderful, kind-hearted, and undeserving person in all of creation, but this creature in their mind stayed behind?

He’d been dormant through their time in the cage, thank—not Father, not anymore, thank someone else—but emerged into consciousness shortly after their release. Part of Michael is glad he’s not alone now; an eternity with his siblings in his mind and a thousand years with Adam in his grace, and he’s not used to hearing only his own thoughts. A bigger, much more heartbroken part of him is furious that the creature dares speak to him, here of all places. 

“I mean, I haven't seen this house in—do I say a thousand years or ten? I died a year before Adam came back so, eleven years for me?”

“You haven't seen this house since you slipped through the vents to steal, kill, and eat Adam,” Michael retorts. 

The thing pushes himself into an apparition—Michael was not happy with Adam for teaching it how to do that—and he turns away. He can’t bear to look at someone wearing Adam’s face who isn’t him. It’s not right, especially not now. 

“You’re throwing quite the temper tantrum, aren’t you?” it asks, and when Michael glances out of the corner of his eye he can see it staring at the clouds that have blown in and are now lingering above their heads, dark and heavy and flashing with lightning. 

“You would react differently?” Michael spits. “You’re okay with everything that has happened?”

“Of course not,” the creature says, like it should’ve been obvious. “I liked Adam a lot more than I like you.”

When the first raindrop hits, Michael lets it drip down his face—not his face—and the rest of them soak his jacket. 

It feels like penance. Michael deserves to serve penance. 

He knew that Adam would die, not just in the rapture, but here in this house too. The ghoul John Winchester killed had children who would grow up itching to avenge their father’s death, as it was written in Father’s story. They would kill the woman John slept with and the child that created and all it would do was serve to advance the stories of Sam and Dean who were, even back then, the most important humans in heaven’s—his—eyes. 

Michael knew what Adam’s fate would be long before it happened, and was even glad for it when Dean’s insistent refusal to agree to his part in the apocalypse grew too grating. It meant he had a backup vessel practically gift-wrapped and waiting for him to possess. 

If he had known then what he knows now, he’d change everything. He’d rip the story to shreds and create his own, one where Adam doesn’t have to suffer. One where Adam gets to live and be happy.

The angriest parts of him yearn to try even now, to fly into the past and stop this creature from ever laying a hand on his Adam. To not let his past self make the call for resurrection. To more carefully oversee said resurrection and make sure Adam’s soul was put into the right body. To stop Sam Winchester from dragging them all into the cage. 

There’s a lot he wants to change, and no time to do it. No chance to even try without Father noticing his power and putting a stop to his—to him. 

“Do you ever feel bad for what you did to him?” the creature asks softly. “I kinda do. Or I know I should.”

If it was possible, Michael would laugh. As it stands, no part of him is able to conjure up even an ironic semblance of humor.

“If I had known John was already dead…” it trails off. “I still would’ve killed him. I don’t think he deserved it, though.”

“You don’t think?” Michael doesn’t have the energy for the righteous fury he wants to exude. “He didn’t deserve any of it.”

“Since when do we get what we deserve?” the creature echoes, and something stabs through the core of Michael’s being. 

It hurts. It aches. He aches. He’s soaked to the bone. 

“Come on,” the creature says. “Shouldn’t we be in hiding? Adam would be pissed if you let your old man kill us just ‘cause you hung around his house too long.”

“What would you know about Adam’s wishes?” 

“Hey now, I’m the one with all his memories. You might live in his mind, but I know all about your little agreement, so you don’t know everything. Me? I do.” It shrugs. 

“You only have those memories because you stole his body.” 

“I stole his body and then you stole my body,” the creature points out. “I can’t help that I look like him, you know.”

So many things Michael’s done wrong. So many mistakes.

The creature sighs. “My point is, I have his memories, and they’re telling me that he loves you, dude. You know those Winchester idiots are probably cooking something up to fix this right about now, so it’s not like he’s gone forever.”

What the creature does not know is that Michael cannot see a future for himself. Any attempt at repairing the world is futile; Father is far more powerful than two humans. Than Michael, even. 

There is no timeline in which he survives this fight; Father will be furious and there will be nothing he can do. Michael is going to lead both of them into the end—the end of more than humanity. The end of the archangels. The end of heaven. It’s all inevitable. 

Wind whips through the trees around them as the storm picks up. The creature flinches. “Maybe you should calm down a little?” it suggests. “Like, this keeps up and your dad won’t be the one to kill us.”

Maybe that would be more poetic. Better to die at his own hands than those of the one who created him. Better to drown in his sorrow than face the truth of just how far he has fallen.

“Seriously. We can’t stay here forever.”

Why not?

“Maybe you don’t have any self preservation anymore, but this isn’t how I wanna go. Five seconds and I’m taking control again.”

Michael almost lets it, but he turns away from the house and flies them back to St. Michael’s, where they can do nothing but hide and wallow and wait.

—

“Why are we here again?” the ghoul asks the next day. “You’re being kinda pathetic.”

“You’re not as charming as you think you are,” Michael says. 

“Adam thought I was.”

He’s right. Adam’s world weary attitude meant that when the ghoul emerged from wherever he’d been hiding, the fact that he ate Adam alive didn’t mean so much to him anymore. The ghoul is admittedly—unfortunately—witty, which was helpful in the immediate aftermath of freedom that came with a sudden recalibration of belief, and he's more adaptable than Michael thinks he will ever manage to be. It’s no wonder Adam forged a bond with him, but that doesn’t mean Michael can do the same. 

There’s a lot he can’t do. 

The sky is darker than yesterday; not because it’s night, but because Michael cannot control how thick the clouds that follow him are becoming. Once, he could have willed them away with nothing but a thought, but there’s nothing to be done now. The clouds are inevitable, as so many things are. 

“Can we at least go inside?” the ghoul complains. “I’m tired of being wet.”

When Michael doesn’t answer, he seizes control of their legs and begins the trek up the broken concrete of the driveway. Michael couldn’t take back control even if he wanted to.

Power is hard to come by, these days. 

When they reach the door, the ghoul has to take control of the hands too; Michael just stands there, staring at peeling paint on old wood. Hinges creak after a decade unused, barely audible over the thundering of the rain. Inside, a thick layer of dust coats every surface. 

In the cage, Adam recreated this house for them to live in; for him, it was a comfort. For Michael, it was home in the interim between that role being taken by heaven or Adam himself. He’s never seen the real thing, and looking at how it’s fallen apart over the years makes him wish he never had. 

Pictures line the walls and bookshelves in a way Adam could never fully recreate. The moment Michael’s eyes land on a framed photo of Adam and Kate, young and laughing, he can’t take it anymore. 

The ghoul doesn’t even have time to startle before Michael flies away.

“What was that for?” he asks once they’re once again safely ensconced in stained glass and overturned books. A crack of lightning illuminates a page in pink and blue. 

These books—warped versions of the stories he spread—paint Lucifer as a devil with a silver tongue, able to slip into the minds of man and convince them to do the darkest of deeds in the name of evil. Since Castiel called them to that bunker, Michael has been learning that Lucifer was not the only one to take on that role. 

All the time he spent with Adam spoiled him. It feels impossible to internalize things the way he used to; thoughts weigh on his grace in a mirror of the storm cloud above. 

“I was foolish to care for Him,” Michael says into the echoing silence. 

“For Adam?”

“No—no.” Caring for Adam is one of the few things Michael has gotten right. “My Father.”

“Oh yeah, fuck that guy,” the ghoul says. 

“He never cared for me.”

“Yeah, well, he never cared for me either.” The ghoul shrugs. “That’s just how the cookie crumbles, I guess.”

Michael frowns. “He didn’t care about you because you’re—”

“A monster?” the ghoul finishes wryly. “Yeah, according to who, exactly?”

According to Father. According to Michael. 

According to hunters, Michael’s a monster too. With the knowledge of how he convinced generations of humans to believe in someone who never paid them any mind, Michael thinks they’re not that far off. 

And so the story goes. 

—

The third time Michael takes them to the house he—gives in. Everything he ever held dear is gone, everything in the world is gone, and he thinks he’s allowed a moment of weakness. 

Ghoul keeps his regular vigil to Michael’s left, a perfect recreation of all Michael wants. The first time he lost everything, he had Adam. This time—he’ll take what he can get. He can pretend if he has to.

Without leaving himself any time to second guess it, Michael lunges forward and pulls Ghoul into a tight hug, wrapping his wings around both of them to shield from the rain for good measure. Ghoul makes a startled oof as he collides with Michael’s chest, but doesn’t hesitate to return the embrace. 

This is Adam’s body he’s holding, he tells himself. He can protect Adam this time. Maybe he can toss his soul into heaven before it’s too late. Maybe he can reach out and actually try shielding him from the deadly wave rippling across the world. This is Adam’s hair tickling his nose and these are Adam’s fingers gripping the back of his jacket. 

Michael won’t—can’t—let go. Not this time. 

Ghoul tightens the hug, doesn’t even make a snarky remark about Michael being a wuss. Maybe he’s pretending that Michael is Adam too. 

Thunder rolls as lightning cracks, striking the tallest tree in Adam’s yard, and Ghoul jumps away. 

“I guess that didn’t help much,” he says awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck. 

“No,” Michael agrees, suddenly thankful for the rain. 

Before now, he hadn’t been sure whether or not archangels could cry.

The tree catches fire. It only burns for a moment; the rain is coming down too hard to let the flames really take hold. 

“It’s a good thing nobody’s around to notice the freak weather,” Ghoul says. “We should get back.”

Just as the house remains the same, so does the past. There’s nothing Michael can do to change what has already happened, no way to save what he’s already lost. After one last look at what once was Adam’s home but is now something he can never return to, Michael flies them to the church for the last time.

The chapter ends, but the storm follows in his wake. 

—

When the Winchesters come calling, Michael has no choice but to follow. They ask about Adam, and grief clogs his throat so heavily that it has to be Ghoul who says, “Gone, I’m sorry to say.”

In the bunker when Lucifer—Lucifer, chosen by Father—asks, “Who’s in there with you?” Michael shrouds Ghoul in as much grace as he should have done for Adam. This is all he can do to fight the narrative; he cannot change the past but he can try to preserve the present and prevent the future. 

As the plan unspools and the storm above Michael finally breaks, he thinks of nothing but the half glimpse of a younger Adam coated in a decade’s worth of dust. 

And when Father finally raises his hand and begins taking Michael apart, piece by piece until he’s nothing but shards of grace scattered in the wind, he’s almost thankful for the respite. 

The dead are unable to grieve. 

(When he lands in the empty, awake and alone and unable to do anything but hide away in a memory of the house where nothing good ever happened, he learns that that is not quite true. For the dead, grief becomes eternity.)

—

Some time later, Ghoul finds himself standing in front of that old, boarded up house in Windom again. The sun shines so bright and so hot he almost misses the clouds. Children run through the streets. Cars cruise along dry roads. 

This time, he only has Adam at his side.  

[rpsocsandcanonohmy]

Sam centric asks. Even numbers only. Please?

2. Best season of Sam?

I’m gonna have to go with season 2. It’s the best season of powers!Sam and it’s one of the last times we get to see Sam stand up for himself and get angry without it being painted as a bad thing by the narrative. Season 2 is probably my favorite overall but it’s definitely one of Sam’s better ones. 

4. Most compelling dynamic?

“Compelling” is an interesting word to use here. Normally I’d say Sam & Dean but I feel like after 15 seasons I’ve gotten to know their dynamic pretty well (almost too well honestly). So I’ll go with Sam & Jack because we didn’t get nearly enough of them and Sam really wasn’t appreciated as a father figure for him.

6. What do you think about Sam's ending?

It’s beautifully tragic. He finally got the happy apple-pie life he wanted but he had to lose literally everyone he loved before it could happen. He finally got to have a kid that he could raise in the safety of a life outside of hunting but he had to do it without Dean or John or even Mary to see it. Ultimately, I don’t think he was fully happy until he died and met Dean in heaven again.

8. Your opinion on Sam's relationship with Dean?

Sam and Dean’s relationship is toxic, some level of abusive (mostly in the later seasons), and both of their biggest weaknesses. On some level, they’re both terrible for each other. But I think Dean is worse in the sense that he views Sam as his property but he makes Sam prove himself worthy of being so. It’s comparable to a parent who never tells their child that they’re proud of them because it’ll make them better. Sam constantly has to prove how much he loves Dean so that Dean can be assured he’s not going anywhere. This involves Sam making excuses for Dean and his poor behavior and Dean guilt-tripping Sam any time he gets the nerve to call him out on it. I long for the days of early spn where Dean would acknowledge he was wrong and give Sam a chance to get back at him. I also hate that Dean stopped standing up for Sam. Sure, he’ll protect Sam in an emergency but he doesn’t stop other people from insulting or devaluing him. Hell, sometimes he agrees with it. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe this is the same man who sold his soul for Sam and begged him not to get mad.

10. Soulless Sam, yay or nay?

Nay. The story arc was fine enough but he’s creepy as hell and I could do without it.

12. Sam & Jack or Sam & Magda?

Contrary to my answer to #4, I’m going to say Sam & Magda because she deserved better and he deserved to help her. 

14. Sam storyline that should have never been dropped?

Him being a psychic and his demon blood addiction. He should’ve come to use his powers for good on his own and make Dean just deal with it. His psychic dreams should’ve been guiding him since season 8 and he should’ve been moving books around the MOL library with his mind. It also probably would’ve helped him with training Jack and definitely would’ve helped with Magda. Hell, he should be able to exorcise angels! And demon!Dean should’ve tried to feed him his blood and Sam should’ve had a hard time resisting.

16. Your take on Samjess?

I think Sam loved Jess but not in a fully romantic sense. He loved her more than any other woman in his life and he wanted to spend the rest of it with her, but he wasn’t willing to open up to her and share his full self. It’s cute but ultimately, it was always meant to be a fairytale.

18. wee!Sam headcanon?

20. What is the worst thing the writers did to Sam?

Everything to do with the Gadreel arc but mostly how they started having characters blame Sam for everything, including himself, and making sure he’s not allowed to defend himself without him being branded as the bad guy. Dean can call himself the dictator of their relationship and that’s fine but Sam can’t get a little huffy because of the trauma he’s endured without someone branding him as “angry”. It irritates me.

22. Favorite BAMF moment?

There are so so many but I think I’m gonna have to go with the time he shot God with the Equalizer gun, knowing full well it would hurt him too.

24. Is there anyone better than Sully?

Sam, of course! But seriously he’s the sweetest and he deserves much love and happiness.

26. Which character should have been more obsessed with/interested in Sam?

As much as it pains me to say it, Lucifer. Sam is his chosen vessel, the one human meant to help him with his plan to take over the world. I loved his fixation on Sam in season 5 and I wish that had remained a part of his character going forward. Hallucifer in season 7 was great too, even if it wasn’t technically real, but when they brought him back in later seasons he should’ve retained that obessession instead of having them push it onto God and other characters. I think it would’ve made his character more consistent and entertaining to watch.

28. Whump Sam, yay or nay?

Whump Sam is best Sam but also worst Sam. He looks so pretty covered in blood but it hurts me to know he’s in pain.... It’s a mixed bag.

30. Which character(s) deserve(s) to rot in hell for crimes against Sam?

All of them. Chuck, Lucifer, and Dean are the main ones but tbh almost every single character in this show screwed over Sam in some way and I’ll stand up for him since he won’t.

[autisticandroids]

Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up

okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.

and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?

therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):

john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.

now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.

and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.

john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.

dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.

castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.

he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)

(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)

anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.

castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.

he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.

six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.

but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.

so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.

dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.

smiling slightly.

as he watches dean gut this old woman.

dean freezes.

the man takes a step forward.

"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."

dean is silent.

"family business, is it?"

silence continues.

"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."

and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.

there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.

but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.

it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.

so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.

of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.

so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.

even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)

but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.

dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.

cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."

and dean buries his face in cas' chest.

[winchesterfanatic1967]

Stabbed

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,411 

I hope you like it! I loved this request. That episode has a special place in my heart. ♥️

Warnings- Stabbing, angst 

You and the Winchester brothers have been hunting together since you’ve all been kids. John and Mary were great friends with your parents. When Mary died in the house fire your mother died too the exact same way when you and Sam were both six months old. John and your dad were hellbent on revenge and joined the hunting life together.

The three of you protected each other and kept each other safe. You all learned the same lore, and the same set of skills. You learned how to shoot a gun when you were seven. You killed your first werewolf when you were twelve. You had a crappy childhood just like the brothers did but like John, your dad did the best that he could. 

You held a grudge against John for a long time. When you were seventeen your father was killed because it was John’s fault. They were hunting a vengeful spirit and your dad was bait. John got too eager and startled it, resulting in your father’s death. He came home in tears and could barely get the words out. 

It resulted in many screaming matches between you and Dean. You always used the same excuses. Your dad killed my dad. You knew in your heart John didn’t mean to and it was an accident, but you became very angry and bitter. 

When you turned eighteen Sammy went to Stanford, and you disappeared. You kept in contact with Dean, but you couldn’t stand to look at John anymore and Sam was the only one to ever stick up for you since he and John had problems of their own. 

Until it all changed one day when John didn’t come home from his hunting trip and Dean needed your help. The two of you met up in Lawrence, and the two of you went to Stanford together. After Jessica’s death Sam decided to become a hunter again and you made the decision to join them. 

The three of you were the three musketeers. You missed Sam so much. The two of you were the same age so you could relate to certain things and he was your best friend. You were there for him when he lost Jess and helped him through his grief.

You and Sam began to have visions around the same time. Painful migraines and visions of different encounters. It truly freaked you the hell out. You didn’t know what was happening to you. It all ended up having to do with the demon that killed your mothers. 

You always saw Dean as an older annoying brother until John passed away. During John’s hunters funeral you told him in tears that he was like a father to you, and that you were sorry for holding a grudge for so long, and that you forgave him. 

Dean wasn’t good with words and he hated feelings and emotions. But he shared everything with you. He opened up to you when Sam wasn’t around and you let him grieve in your arms on many accounts. 

When you met Ellen and Jo Harvelle you realized that you were developing feelings for him. When he flirted with Jo and when you saw the way he looked at her rage pierced through your body and you wanted to rip her head off her shoulders. 

Dean was a huge flirt with every pretty girl he saw but it was different now. You were never jealous but now you were. Every time you went to the Roadhouse you had an attitude. Finally one night after your sour mood Dean confronted you and you spilled everything. 

You told him how you were starting to have feelings, and he told you he’s liked you for a long time but didn’t want to ruin the special bond you shared. After that awkward talk, he kissed you. He asked if you wanted to give a relationship a try, and you accepted the offer. That was 5 years ago, and it feels like time hasn’t passed by at all. Every day with Dean is special. 

He never lets you live it down that you were jealous. He loves to tease you, and you roll your eyes every time. The relationship is going really strong, and he makes you feel like the most important woman in the world. He makes you feel beautiful and sexy. He makes you laugh like nobody else ever had. 

The three of you have been through a lot together. Killing yellow eyes, Dean going to hell and Castiel dragging him out, Sam letting Lucifer out of his cage and then throwing him back in. When Sam was in the cage you and Dean tried the apple pie life. You moved into a small house together and got normal jobs. But it turned out Sam was alive practically the whole time and you became hunters once again. (IN THIS LISA DOESN’T EXIST).

Between Sam getting his soul back and Castiel bringing in all the leviathans and losing Bobby, it’s safe to say you’ve all been through hell. The past five years haven’t been easy, but you had each other and you will be damned if you lose either of them.

Fast forward to the present day, the three of you were once again researching how to get rid of Dick Roman. It was getting frustrating, because he killed Bobby and you wanted to get vengeance for him. Finally you had secretly stopped researching that and began looking for other cases to get your mind off it for the time being. 

“Guys, I think I found us a case.” You say to them and they lift their heads up from their books.

“Y/n we already have a case, Dick Roman.” Dean says.

“I know. But we’re not getting anywhere. I figured a change might be good for the time being.” 

“She’s right Dean.” 

“Yeah alright.” He sighs.

An article was online saying a girl watched her friend get stabbed to death and the guy who killed her his eyes were black. You figured it was something worth checking into, and the three of you made your way to Chicago, Illinois. 

You sat up front with Dean, and he grabbed your hand in the middle. He rubbed his thumb softly against your skin and it made you smile. You felt him glance at you numerous times throughout the drive, and you couldn’t believe after all these years he still made your heart race. 

You checked into the hotel, and the three of you decided to go to the bar since it was late at night. You were sharing laughs, and getting pretty tipsy. You were sitting on Dean’s lap and you were giggly as he was whispering flirty things into your ear. 

Sam just shook his head fondly as you laughed hysterically at something Dean said and he stood up. 

“I’m gonna head back to the motel, see you guys later.” 

“Bye Sammy.” 

“It’s Sam.” You giggled and Dean chuckled as he pulled you closer to him. 

The two of you stayed in each other's embrace for a little while longer before you decided to head back. The next morning the three of you interviewed the girl who witnessed her friends stabbing and it turns out it smelt like sulfur when she died. Sulfur and black eyes? Most definitely a demon you were dealing with. 

The three of you were discussing the case over dinner at the local diner when you got up to use the bathroom. When you were finished with your business you were about to open the door when it all went black.

Meanwhile, you’ve been gone for 10 minutes and the boys were starting to become worried. The waitress walked over with the check and about to leave when Dean stopped her.

“Hey, my girlfriend went into the bathroom about 10 minutes ago now. Can you please check on her and make sure she’s okay?”

“Of course sir, I’ll be right back.”

She walked over and knocked a couple of times. “Miss? Are you okay in there?” Silence. She went into the bathroom and all the stalls were empty. Confused, she walked back over to the brothers.

“I’m sorry sir, there’s nobody in the bathroom.”

“What?”

They quickly threw money on the table and ran outside. You weren’t in the car, and nowhere to be found.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!” 

Dean called your cell, and it was going straight to voicemail every time. 

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath before running his fingers through his hair.

“We’ll find her Dean.”

Meanwhile with you, you woke up tied to a chair. You groaned and looked down to see that your binds weren’t all that tight. You could probably get yourself out of this mess if you played your cards right.

You looked down to see that your feet weren’t tied together, and you felt your knife still in your boot. If you could slide your boot off, you could use your other foot to slide the blade onto your lap. 

As you were working on that, you heard the sound of a door opening and closing. You quickly went back to the position you found yourself in and waited for whatever was to come. 

“Well well well, I never thought I would see the day where I would have the famous hunter y/n l/n in my control.” His eyes flashed black and you rolled your eyes.

“Is that supposed to intimidate me? Come on now.”

“Oh you will be intimidated. But the thing is, I’m not going to hurt you yet doll. I’m waiting for your Winchester boys to show up. You’re just leverage darling.”

“They’ll find me soon, and when they do they’re going to kill your sorry ass and send you back to hell.” You say shrugging and smirking at the black eyed bitch who was seething. 

“We’ll see who’s right babygirl.”

Not too much longer after that, the demon left and you were working on escaping. You managed to get the knife out with your feet, and you started to slice on the rope and it broke apart. 

You quietly stood up, and slowly climbed out of the window of the basement. You were being slow and cautious as you made aware of your surroundings. 

You saw the headlights in front of you, and your heart started to pound in excitement as you heard the familiar roar of baby in your ears. You started to jog a little bit as they got out of the car. 

“Y/n!”

“Babe!”

“Hey boys!” You say picking up the pace, not aware of anyone behind you. 

“BABY LOOKOUT!” Dean screams before you feel the sharp blade stab into your back, and a burning hot white pain goes through you as you collapse to the ground.

“NOOOOO DAMNIT!!” Dean screams as Sam runs after the black eyed bitch who stabbed you. You heard fighting as you fought consciousness but you could barely focus through your bleary eyes. 

Dean holds you up, desperately trying to keep you awake. “Baby you have to stay awake for me okay? Sam is killing the scumbag, and we're going to take you to the hospital.” He says as he places his hand on your back and he pulls it away to see all the blood.

He curses under his breath and smiles a little bit but it’s more of a grimace. 

“See? It’s not even that bad. It’s not even that bad. Y/N!” He screams as you shut your eyes. You lose consciousness, and Dean yells out, 

“SAMMY!!!”

“It’s done De, it’s done. He’s dead. Let’s go.” He says as he runs towards the two of you and his jaw drops at the sight of you. 

He quickly jumps in the driver's seat and Dean slides in the back and lays you gently on his lap. He took his flannel off and held it against your back, trying to stop the bleeding. He stroked your hair as the tears streamed down his cheeks in fear. 

This was all too familiar territory for him. Flashbacks of Sam being stabbed in the back all those years ago flood his mind, and he shook the thought of you dying away. He needed to be positive for you. He had to hope for the best. 

He continuously felt your neck for a pulse, and sighed in relief every time he felt one. It was slow, but it was there and that’s all that mattered. Finally Sam arrived at the hospital, and they ran inside immediately grasping the attention of all the medical staff. 

They quickly took you in, and they sat down in the waiting room and answered all their questions. Of course they lied through their teeth. But it’s not like they could say a demon stabbed you and they killed it. 

After four hours, a doctor came out with bloody scrubs. The brothers stood up, and waited for him to say something.

“Y/n Smith?”

“Is she okay?”

“She lost a lot of blood, but she’s going to be just fine. We want to keep her overnight for observations but she can leave in the morning. She’s very lucky. You can see her if you’d like.”

“Yes please.”

He led them towards your room, and they smiled at the sight of you alive and well. Dean pulled a chair out next to your bed, and he grabbed your hand kissing it. He kissed your forehead tenderly, and then your nose. 

“I’m so happy she’s okay.” He says softly and Sam nods.

“Me too.”

Your eyelids began to flutter, and you smiled when you saw the brothers smiling at you.

“Hey boys.”

“Hey y/n.” 

“Hey sweetheart, we’re so happy you’re okay.”

“Is it dead?”

“It’s dead baby. You’re alive, and you’re going to be okay.”

“Good.” You say softly and pat the spot next to you for Dean to lay down. He gives you a small smile and climbs underneath the covers with you and you lay your head on his chest. Sam pulled another chair in the room across from the other one to form a bed, and he laid down making himself comfortable.

Dean kissed you softly on the lips, and looked at you in adoration. “I love you so much sweetheart.”

“I love you too De.”

[poohkeepsee]

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles  by  2street2car Words: 10,311     Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me  by  ellispark  Words: 45,876     Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine  by  LeverDrift Words: 67,939     Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills  by  ilovehowyouletmefall           Words: 26,052     Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human.  And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend  by  sobsicles    Words: 8,445     Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You  by  sobsicles Words: 95,090     Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication'  by  JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home  by  domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing  by  NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462     Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts  by  pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922     Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees)  by  sobsicles   Words: 74,173     Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim  by  Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910   Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)  by  sobsicles           Words:     108,427     Chapters:     4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date  by  aeli_kindara Words: 8,968    Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road  by  thegeminisage Words:     109,629     Chapters:     7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims  by  lagaudiere Words: 31,904     Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)  by  sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au  (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend  by  reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart  by  peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

[venhedish]

Ven’s Masterlist of SPN Fic

I write mostly pre-series and early seasons Big Feels™ Wincest fic. There’s a lot of angst and pining here, but plenty of love and devotion mixed in with the darkness.

I always deeply, deeply appreciate likes, kudos, comments, and reblogs!

Wincest Fic

Stand-Alone

Yesterday is a Ghost I Believe In ~4.1k, Teen, Pre-series, Epistolary, Multimedia, Experimental There's an old shoebox under Sam Winchester's bed. It's been there almost as long as he can remember. He doesn't look inside it very often, but when he does, he takes his time. A multimedia collection of letters, journal entries, pictures, and other ephemera from a life on the road. .

That Monster, Love ~2k, Teen, Pre-series, POV Outsider, POV John Winchester, John Finds Out, Angst “You think you’re doing your boys any favors, raisin’ ‘em like this?” .

To Cure My Lonesome Blood ~8.8k, Explicit, Pre-series, Pining Dean, Angst, Bittersweet Ending Dean’s been sick since before either of them was born. The disease is incurable, written into his blood – the same blood he shares with his brother. If he’s not careful, the fever will spread like a fire and consume them both. .

Like Sand, Like Water, Like Sunlight ~1.7k, Gen, Pre-series, Mutual Pining, Angst, Pre-Slash Sea birds circle overhead and Dean wishes he had a camera. Sam looks so young, all of twelve years old, and exhilarated. Dean wants to hold this image in the chambers of his heart, but his pulse just carries it along; time is cruel that way. .

The Space Between Sense and Memory ~4.8k, Teen, Pre-series through Season 1, 5-and-1 Things There are a hundred unwritten rules on all the acceptable ways brothers should touch each other. There are hardly any ways at all to break them. Or; five times they follow the rules and one time they don’t. .

Every Goodbye, all at Once ~900, Teen, Pre-series, Stanford Era, Pining Dean, Angst, Epistolary "Hey, It's Sam. If you're looking for my dad, you can reach him at 866-555-9352. If you're looking for me, leave a message." A series of voicemails Dean leaves at the number Sam left behind. .

Breathe You In (Choke You Down) ~6k, Explicit, Season 01, PWP, Scent Kink, Guilty Dean Winchester Once Sam was gone, Dean missed him in a way that was all-consuming, all the way down – so deep in his bones that he shook with loneliness some nights. And it was the familiar scent of his brother’s hair where it tangled warm against the pillows, his pulse beating under his skin and sending the fear of the hunt wafting off of him in waves that Dean struggled to hold onto the hardest. Dean really likes the way Sam smells..  .

Dawn is Coming (Open Your Eyes) ~5k, Explicit, Season 01, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together In which Sam and Dean suffer new wounds and stitch old ones back together. There’s an awful storm, a dead monster, an injury, and a whole lot of feelings. .

You put the Magic in Me ~9.1k, Explicit, Season 02(ish), Sex Pollen, Porn with Plot, Casefic “This is the weirdest thing we’ve ever done for a case,” Dean says under his breath, leaning into Sam and scouting the crowd gathered around a dozen tables inside the little café. “Dude, relax,” Sam says back, eyebrows raising at his brother’s nervous energy. “I thought this would be, like, your thing.” He gestures vaguely to the women milling around inside. A long, vividly red banner hangs across the open french doors that lead into the space, emblazoned with the words The Oolong Tea Room Presents: Lonely Hearts Club Speed Dating! Feb 11-14th! Or; in which Sam and Dean learn a thing or two about chemistry. .

The Stars are not Wanted Now ~2k, Teen, Season 02, Episode Tag: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Angst, Death Rituals There was a body on the bed.  It had been there long enough that the slanting light of morning crept into the room like an unwelcome invader and washed the world in a dream-shade of palest blue.   But there were no dreams here; only death, only memory. The body on the bed was all that remained of Samuel Winchester, who had died in his brother’s arms the night before. .

Demi-Gods and Hungry Ghosts ~5.8k, Explicit, Season 03, Episode Tag: s03e11 Mystery Spot, Dark, Dub-con, Hurt No Comfort This dream-state of living on pause and rewind leads to some interesting avenues of thought that Sam doesn’t mean to travel, but after a certain number of unrelenting Tuesdays, they just become inevitable. If Dean dies every day—if his memories are wiped, or if they never happen at all—what could Sam get away with, if he wanted to? Could he dare to find out?  .

In Sanguine Vita Est   ~5.2k, Explicit, Season 04, Knifeplay, Dean’s Hell Trauma, Hurt/Comfort Everything was different now. Dean was here—back from the fucking dead—but he was a stranger in his own body. Scars gone, aches from broken bones that hadn’t set right vanished back into the void as if they’d never existed at all. He’d become a stranger to the whole world. He’d become a stranger to Sam. _ Dean asks Sam to help him heal after he returns from Hell. .

All Heartless Spectres, Happiness ~5.7k, Explicit, Season 06, Episode Tag: s06e06 You Can’t Handle the Truth, POV Outsider, Angst, Soulless Sam Lisa Braeden receives an email with the subject line, "You Deserve to Know." It contains a single video file and nothing else. .

The Rungs of Me be Under You ~1.6k, Teen, Gencest, Post-Bunker, 2nd Person POV, Queerplatonic Sam and Dean, Non-Sexual Kink What they share has never been easy to define. Why should this be any different?  .

Wincest Series The Top/Bottom Discourse Series (Ongoing) [Each story is canon compliant and listed chronologically, but they can all be read as standalone works.] This series was born originally from a silly meta post I made on Tumblr as a response to some very angry top/bottom discourse I was seeing about how only Sam could truly be A Top™, or how only Dean could truly be A Top™. I personally like to kink and let kink and not drag outdated gender politics into my fandom (Dean can't be a bottom because he's too masculine? Ice cold take, bro), so I wrote a filthy little tongue-in-cheek post about all the ways I think Sam and Dean have fucked each other over the years.

 I’m Thinking About Whatever You’re Thinking About ~5.1k, Explicit, Pre-series, PWP, Bratty Sam, Exhibitionism, Fear of Discovery Sam is such a brat, sometimes. .

 Shoot to Thrill ~6.7k, Explicit, Season 02, Porn with Plot, Hustling, Getting Back Together It's just like riding a bike. .

Burn Out The Night ~4.9k, Explicit, Season 08, Porn with Plot, Car Sex, Light BDSM, Fluff What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. .

Destiel Fic

Love Made a Martyr of Me ~500, Teen, Season 05, Endverse, Past Sam/Dean, Angst Sam says yes in Detroit, and in the space of a single syllable, there's nothing left in Heaven or on Earth for Dean to love. Cas doesn't seem to care. .

The Sharp Teeth of the One You Love ~2k, Teen, Season 05, Endverse, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining “Quit bein’ a baby, Cas.” Dean’s hands were covered in blood, but they were steady as always while he worked to stitch Castiel back together. “I’m sorry,” Cas growled between gritted teeth. “I don’t exactly have a lot of experience feeling pain.” He hissed again when Dean slid the curved needle back through the eight-inch-long gash that ran deep and bloody down Cas’s bicep. Castiel learns something about what it means to be human. .

Wincestiel Fic

Temerate ~700, Teen, Season 05(ish), Past Sam/Dean, 2nd Person POV, First Time Your brother is sitting in the corner of the motel room. His big hands are worrying at each other; he squeezes them together, fingertips white from the pressure of his grip. He meets your eyes and his gaze is like a lightning strike. .

Dean/John Fic

Cruore ~1.1k, Mature, Pre-series, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Blood, Intrusive Thoughts Bites, Dean could deal with – claw marks and broken bones. But this- ... a bullet was a different kind of monster altogether. .

Supernatural RPF

Il Cielo in Una Stanza ~4.4k, Explicit, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Getting Back Together, Prequel-Gate, Polyamory, Non-AU Jared Padalecki receives a present he wasn't expecting at all for his 39th birthday. . 

Other Supernatural Fic

Bad Things, Better Reasons ~2k, Explicit, Pre-series, Dean Does Sex Work, Angst, Brotherly Love. Dean does whatever it takes to keep the bills paid while John is gone. The kid waiting for him back at the motel room is all the justification he’ll ever need. .

No Was Her Name ~1.3k, Teen, Season 12, Dean/Mary, Light Angst, First Kiss Mary Winchester was alive. She was solid—made of skin and blood and bone—and she existed in the same world as Dean. It wasn’t a dream; she walked and talked and breathed. She ate, she slept, she wandered the halls of the bunker at odd hours. She was a ghost made flesh, and Dean was haunted by her presence. .

[assortedpuzzlepieces]

Ok, I’m about to go off on a GIANT rant about a specific issue I have with John Winchester & how the show intentionally & canonically portrays him as an ableist, homophobic asshole through his portrayal by JDM, so buckle up.

For the record, this is something I’ve always believed, but after listening to podcast episodes from @otrsupernatural & Carrying Wayward, one super clear example of why has just snapped into place & I feel compelled to share it.

So I want to start by noting a couple things that stand out. First & foremost, I think JDM is an incredible actor & I think he brings his A game with his portrayal of John. John Winchester is undeniably an asshole, & yet JDM balances that so well against the idea of loving parent, to not only make the character more realistic, but also to give real authenticity & depth to the trauma his children experienced at his hands & answer why they act the way they do in regards to him as their parent.

John is someone who, on the surface, appears to be a loving and concerned father, who makes mistakes, but does so because he’s in shitty circumstances & doesn’t have a lot of options or has his own trauma to battle that limits the choices he believes he has.

However, the show also gives us other content that proves there is more to John than that caring but broken man from as early as S1 & into the beginning of S2, & this content screams the truth of his ableism & homophobia, & gives some really strong evidence as to why these are two of the primary struggles of his children through the end of the series.

To explain, we 1st have to look at characters from earlier in S1. In 1x10, Asylum, we are introduced to Dr. Ellicott. He is shown to be someone who is canonically ableist to people with MHI. He sees them as less human, he does unethical experiments on them, he tortures them, just, lots of gross stuff there. On top of that, we see him as a ghost using what appears to be electrical shocks to Sam & Dean to possess & harm them, which resembles electroshock. There are also strong echoes of conversion therapy in this episode.

After this, we have 1x12, Faith, where Sue Ann is using dark magic to attack & murder people she hates, which specifically includes a woman who was pro choice & a gay man. This not only shows that she was homophobic, but that she condemned sexual freedom & bodily autonomy for women as well, which is in relation to homophobia, as well as deeply rooted in misogyny.

So essentially, we are shown a doctor who tries to force people to be less mentally ill or queer by “curing” them, & then a woman who took it a step further & murdered them to “cleanse” the town. We are given two different, but very interwoven ways with which society has tried to get rid of queers & disabled people, & it’s not subtext, it’s literally stated.

Now, in the show, both Dr. Ellicott & Sue Ann are the villains, & while the show demonstrates their ableism & homophobia, it also clearly condemns them for those actions. They are both dead/gone by the end of the episode & their actions are shown as evil. This is SO important, especially for a show that has failed in other episodes to truly state what exactly is the problematic action in the episode (looking at you, Bugs & Route 666).

That said, if Dr. Ellicott & Sue Ann are villains, then we must also extrapolate that ableism & homophobia are intentionally being written as evil in the show, so other characters who demonstrate these actions are also bad. (Yes, I know I’m being super redundant right now, but I just want to be really damn clear on this to demonstrate why I believe John’s characterization is intentional).

Now, in 1x21, John finally “learns” about Sam’s psychic abilities, & I say that in quotes bc there’s reason to believe he knew about it already from Missouri & was just in denial until confronted with the evidence, at which point he has a very strong reaction. As Ali pointed out, it’s interesting that he has such a strong negative reaction, as he clearly doesn’t have an issue with Missouri as a psychic, & yet he’s upset about Sam being one. He demonstrates the mindset of “othering” people outside of his family, which is a common treatment of both people w/ MHI & queer people - the mentality that “those people” are fine in general, but “not my son/daughter/family/me”.

So here in that episode, we are already getting an attitude from him that clearly parallels ableism & homophobia, & that is on top of other comments he made that are clearly rooted in misogyny, like his “that’s my man” to Dean in the flashback in Something Wicked This Way Comes (1x18).

THEN - the final nail in the coffin is the “secret” he tells Dean before he dies in 2x1; that Dean needs to either save Sam or stop him. By now it’s crystal clear he views Sam as something “other”, something not fully human, & his response? It’s literally “cure or cleanse”. Either make him “normal” or get rid of him.

To repeat, John LITERALLY uses ableist & homophobic language & tactics towards him son because he is different, & also tries to force Dean to do the same, passing on that legacy, by trying to erase anything about Sam thats not his personal definition of “normal”, all out of FEAR of who his son is & what he might do.

And the show CONDEMNS this behavior from the very beginning, even before we ever see him act this way!! They make it clear that ableism & homophobia are BAD, show John act that way, & then condemn him AGAIN when Dean tells Sam & it is made clear to the audience that what John asked of him was wrong.

Like… holy fuck. There is literally no way I can watch this & not believe that his characterization was not 100% intentional with him being set up as a bad person & his actions as condemnable. It’s just not narratively possible. John Winchester was intentionally written to be an asshole & we are supposed to see him as one, & any love we see from him is only meant to validate the complicated feelings Sam & Dean have towards him, not undermine the knowledge that he is a bad person. It’s literally in the text.

*Edit - Im adding a point here, since it’s been brought to my attention. John’s concern about Sam being infected with demon blood & possibly corrupted does not detract from the parallel being made between his actions & those of IRL people who are homophobic or ableist. In fact, this is another argument for that in interpretation, & here is why -

For literal thousands of years, mental illness has been viewed as demonic. People w/ MHI were thought to be possessed, evil incarnations, or even just sinfully corrupt & given to wickedness. People w/ physical disabilities were believed to be punished for moral failings, not faithful enough, etc, etc. Queer people were believed to be sexually deviant, witches, destroyers of families, etc.

These beliefs carry across many religions, but especially Christianity, & are present even today in some more extreme sects. And the people that believed these things? Well many of them were parents who “loved” their child & were trying to protect them from evil by purifying them. They too believed they had valid fears & good reasons to torture, maim, & even kill their children.

So to anyone who would argue “well it’s not the same because John had a good reason to be afraid of Sam” - shut the fuck up, because no, he didn’t.

Sam hadn’t hurt anyone. He wasn’t doing anything worth killing him over. He was a good kid who was hurt by someone outside his control & yet he only started doing anything that was truly wrong when he was pushed to it by circumstances that were again, beyond his control, & only then bc he was trying to do what was right!!

Anyone would do that, not just a kid w/ some demon blood powers. So let’s not act like he was inherently dangerous just BC he was different, bc guess what? That’s part of that mindset too. Sam was a good fucking person & John seeing him as less was John’s failing, not Sam’s.

[orionsangel86]

your bare minimum post is great and I am totally with you on ever thing you said but what about the absolute most ? what if you had every thing you could want ? what would that look like ? do you have a check list ?

Since I now have two asks asking me the same kinda thing I figure I might as well write out a wishlist! Though bear in mind this is literally my absolute fantasies and not anything I actually expect will happen okay!

Disclaimer: Reading this may make you want things from the ending that Supernatural will never ever give us. Do not get your expectations up based on this post. This is not meta. It is the futile hopes of an emotional woman who just wants these boys to be happy goddammit.

Bare Minimum post referred to here

Supernatural Series Finale Wishlist

Castiel narrates the episode. We get his POV, explaining how his love for Dean grew over the years.

Dean rescues Cas from the Empty in a huge call back to how Cas rescued Dean from Hell.

Dean has to go into Castiel’s mind to wake him up and he sees how Cas falls in love with him and has to convince him to wake up by confessing his love back.

Cas chooses to give up his grace and be human.

It is revealled that Cas has a human soul.

The Empty gets sent back to sleep. It is confirmed that Cas will never go back there even after he eventually grows old and dies. His soul will go to heaven.

Sam finds Eileen, and we get domestic scenes of them happy together.

Sam gets to keep the dog.

Sam’s happiness with Eileen is what triggers Dean finally opening up to Sam. We get an emotional brother heart to heart where Dean finally admits his feelings for Cas, and Sam reveals that he has always known but didn’t want to pry.

It is revealled explicitly that Dean is bisexual (not just Cas-sexual or “gay for Cas).

We get backstory to Dean’s bisexuality - maybe a confirmation that the thing with Lee WAS more than friendship.

Confirmation that Dean hid it from John, and supressed his sexuality for fear his father would reject him. (any chance to get a dig at John in there)/

Sam is the most accepting, wonderful, loving brother ever and gives a speech that makes us all cry that’ll go down in history kinda like that “you can breath now” speech Simon’s mom gave him in Love, Simon.

When trying to convince Cas to come back with him from the Empty, Dean’s “i love you” confession speech is another tearjerker, and is just as beautiful, poetic, and heartfelt as Cas’s was. Bonus points for “you said you couldn’t have what you want... but you’ve had me all along.”

Once Cas is saved and they are both back from the Empty, Dean cradles Cas in his arms and they hold each other tightly, and then share their first kiss. It’s passionate. Bob Singer uses the drone. We zoom out. Sam is standing awkwardly in the corner. It’s hilarious.

SOFT EPILOGUE

No Seriously. My biggest wish is a soft epilogue montage of the brothers growing old with their respective partners, with scenes along the lines of as follows:

Sam decides he wants to travel/go to college/leave the bunker basically. With Eileen. Dean realises that he can’t stay in the bunker without Sam. They all pack their bags and turn off the lights. They go their separate ways.

The brothers say goodbye and drive of in separate directions.

Dean and Cas find a house by the ocean. They do it up and build a life together.

We see them happy. We see them watching cowboy movies together.

We see them in bed together. Naked, sweaty... soft focus cliche sex scene like those old hallmark movies.

We see the morning after, sunlight pouring in through the window. Dean wakes and looks at a sleeping Cas. (Mirror to the scene with Lisa in 6x01)

We see them through the kitchen window. Making breakfast until a song comes on the radio. Dean takes Cas in his arms and they dance. (mirror to the scene with Garth and Bess in 15x10)

We see Sam and Eileen as well. We see them also sharing a happy life.

Sam graduates from college.

We see Sam propose. We see their wedding.

Dean and Cas dance at Sam’s wedding.

Sam and Eileen have kids. The boys are going grey.

Dean and Cas are sitting watching the sunset over the ocean. They are content and happy. Dean says it’s been 10 years since the events of 15x19, when they defeated Chuck. 

Sam, Dean, and Cas meet up to commemorate the last 10 years. 10 years of peace and freedom. Turns out you can have both. There are fireworks.

Jack appears. They all hug. Cas narrates that even though the story is over now, it doesn’t really end. So long as you know that they lived, they loved, and they were happy, but most importantly, they were at peace.

Carry on wayward son plays. We all break down in tears.

Other things I’d like to see but couldn’t fit into the above:

OG Charlie returns

OG Bobby returns

We get confirmation that heaven has been restored

Did Jack bring the angels back from the Empty? Confirmation of that too please

Jack and Cas get a heartfelt conversation where Cas gets to tell him how proud he is.

Now if anyone comes into my inbox telling me that this is so perfect its gonna ruin the actual finale for them don’t say I didn’t warn you. :P

[party-gilmore]

Honestly my SPNxLeverage timeline goes exactly like this:

Baby teenage Eliot finds out about monster and hunting cause of a First Encounter type situation out in the small midwest town he grew up in - a hunter saved his ass, so he started dipping into the business a bit here and there because he finds he likes saving people. Tells his dad he's disappearing on training field trips with the JROTC or something. Due to various complicated relationship reasons, his dad doesn't look too much into this

Eliot goes by middle syllable "Lee" in the hunting world, very aware he doesn't exactly want this people to know too much personal stuff about his life

Lee meets Dean in their late teens, they hit it off, and John takes him in a bit (in his own way - that is, reaching him to be a useful hunter to help further his own crusade)

After a couple hunts together, maybe late late teens early early twenties? Lee and Dean get almost caught sneaking around together by John (I personally enjoy 'actually get caught,' but I'm basing this off Lee saying he 'liked the crusty old sonuvabitch') and Dean freaks out and cuts contact

Lee follows up on some contacts John gave him, winds up working with some old military friends of his, who then kinda get him interested in "properly serving his country" again, and he's been losing the flavor for the hunting world since we really started seeing the toll it took on Dean and Sam, so he gives up monster hunting and joins the military - hoping to save more lives in a cleaner sort of way and wash his hands of his darker side

Turns out that was all propaganda. We know this.

From there shit plays out pretty much as canon, with the exception of SPN Season 7 - Leverage is looking at possibly taking on Dick Roman, but Eliot spots Dean on some of the surveillance footage Hardison's looking up and goes and has a talk with Nate - "look, I cant tell you why, but you need to trust me, this? this is not our kind of job. we CANT take this one. please, Nate, I dont ask for much but I need you to here me on this. someone else is handling it. let them."

The the actual episode with Lee comes up but actually Eliot is just posing as the owner of the plan for the con they're running - he sends the rest of the team on their way soon as Dean walks in the door and he realizes they're dealing with something supernatural (except ofc Hardison recognizes the guy that walked in and started chatting up Eliot has died like three times with a federal wanted dossier a mile long and absolutely does NOT really leave)

Eliot and Dean absolutely have nostalgic, bittersweet, kinda sad but also kinda healing closure sex that night

The big showdown with the monster goes down with Dean finding it instead of being fed to it, obviously, and when Eliot goes to rescue him he has to come clean with his work with Leveragr to prove "no no no I'm not really the owner it was a con! I had no idea this thing was down here! Dean please listen to me we HAVE to find the real owner!"

Meanwhile Hardison and Parker were still snooping around because sure Eliot's hands aren't exactly the cleanest either and the trail of this guy doesn't QUITE line up so he could be a reformed "specialist" from the old days like Quinn, except they still sure as hell aren't gonna leave their partner alone with a possible serial killer! And they get napped by the actual bad guy.

So then when Eliot and Dean go to rescue THEM, Eliot had to come clean to them about the hunting world and monsters and stuff.

And then at the very end over dinner in the roadhouse that Eliot now ACTUALLY owns, they discuss that actuay this is a good arrangement - Eliot and his team taking down the human monsters, Dean and his team taking down the non human monsters, and maybe they'll get together and help out whenever their marks stray into joint territory - like maybe the Dick Roman thing could have been a little easier if they'd worked together.

Also later when Hardison and Parker leave them alone to their dessert with a wink and nudge and Eliot swats back at them, and things settled into a more companionable silence, Eliot's sort of like... actually, I uh... look the other night... it was nice. It meant a lot, uh... to me, you know. But... look, those two... I think they're kinda "it" for me, you know?"

And Dean's first impulse is to say no not really, but then he thinks about it, and kind of realizes yeah, he does sort of know... and he and Eliot maybe talk about relationship and what they really want out of them and Dean maybe opens up about his complicated situation with Cas because he's finally got someone he CAN talk about it with and by the time they wind down around 3 AM they linger in the parking lot for a minute and maybe share one last, slow, gentle kiss for both old times sake and as closure for who they are now, and they grin, and Eliot smacks Dean's ass one more time before scrabbling away to his own car

And Eliot goes back to Hardison and Parkers hotel room, and Dean sits in the car and... and calls Cas.