#what kind of a dumbass thinks giving the all knowing logic guy the power of creative thought would nerf him tbh

[higgsbison]

not to backseat game a god, but if *I* was the Daedric prince of Order cursed by my kin to live as the Daedric prince of Madness I would simply fuse to become a new, much cooler Daedric prince of Balance

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 290: It’s Touya Time

Previously on BnHA: Iida and Hadou showed up like a couple of Pennsylvanias and Georgias to bail Shouto out at the last minute. Ochako and Toga had an exceptionally strange fight which consisted of Toga being all “guess what Ochako, I used your quirk to murder someone, how do you feel about that”, and Ochako being all “I do not like that”, to which Toga was all “:(”. There was some doll-stealing and some bookcase-yeeting, and then Toga left in tears because Ochako was all adamant that murder has consequences. Anyway so I have absolutely no idea what Toga is thinking now, but I guess we’ll have some time to stew on it, because we ended the chapter by cutting back to the Iida+Hadou+Shouto VS Afomura battle, which was interrupted by Gigantomachia and the LoV showing up like a bunch of Floridas to ruin everyone’s nice day.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi hands the mic over to Dabi and is all “take it away, kid.” Over in Room 315 of Musutafu General, Rei is all “may I please watch some TV” and the hospital staff is all “sure”, and so she tunes in just in time to catch Todoroki Touya’s Peabody Award-winning documentary “Number One Hero, Number One Fraud: The Todoroki Enji Story”, which is being broadcast nationwide courtesy of Skeptic and his magic laptop. Meanwhile in Jakku, Dabi is all “I’M TOUYA, BITCHES”, and Shouto and Enji are all, “(゜◇゜ )”, and Dabi is all, “anyway so just to sum it all up, because of how much of a jerk Endeavor was, I am now Evil.” Everyone continues to be all “(ﾟoﾟ)” except for Dabi, who is all “└(˘▾˘┌ )≡ ( ┐˘▾˘)┘≡┗( ˘▾˘)┛≡┏( ˘▾˘)┓≡┗( ˘▾˘)┛” for pretty much the rest of the chapter. Idk. Just let the man have his fun, guys. He’s waited a long time for this.

y’all I have a confession to make. I am technically not spoiled for this chapter thanks to my robustly paranoid system of spoiler-tag-filtering, which is extensive enough that it pretty much will catch whenever someone so much as breathes something even remotely new-chapter-related. that being said, I like to think that I am capable of making basic logical inferences! and so the fact that for the past 36 hours, my dashboard has pretty much nonstop consisted almost entirely of this...

...has led me to conclude that MAYBE, POSSIBLY, PROBABLY, BUT ALSO DEFINITELY, a certain someone is finally going to reveal his ~secret identity~ woop woop. lmao

anyway so everyone, please remember to act surprised though, as we would not want Dabi’s feelings to be hurt at all. he has been planning this moment for the last decade or so and I wouldn’t want him to feel like all of that effort was for naught. so just play along, okay. OH MY, IF IT ISN’T THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS’ MYSTERIOUS DABI. WHATEVER COULD HIS ARRIVAL POSSIBLY BE HERALDING, I JUST DON’T KNOW

“Dabi’s Dance” lmao. I’m sticking with Touya Time myself. ngl I had this recap title planned out for at least the past year or so. just waiting for that day to finally come

anyway so some people in some building somewhere are all “TURN OFF THE TV IN ROOM 315” and idk. I’m guessing the LoV is hacking the airwaves to livestream the reveal, as predicted

-- oh shit. UHHHHHHHH

did she always have this TV or did she get it just recently?? jfc of all the times for the hospital staff to finally loosen up

um... so that’s... (・＿・；)

well but I mean, she was gonna find out one way or the other at some point though. like you can’t really just keep her locked up and isolated from all news of the outside world forever and ever and ever. granted, this isn’t exactly the ideal way for her to learn this particular bit of information, but it’s not really ideal for anybody else either! EXCEPT DABI, THAT IS. have yourself a day you funky little terrorist

oh shit what is this?? it’s not live???

over in Jakku, a red-faced, sputtering Dabi makes a frantic grab for Skeptic’s laptop. “WAIT, NO, JESUS, NOT THAT TAPE!”

lol. but seriously Dabi are you even wearing a shirt. like I’m not one to slutshame anyone bro, but it’s just, exactly what type of mood were you looking to set here??

anyway so we really are cutting back to Jakku now, and Gigantomachia is all, “MASTERS”! which, I wonder if he really did use the plural? that’s right Machia, both of them in one place now! that sure is convenient for you huh

lol what is this with all this AFO monologuing. you’re really gonna make me read through this when I’m sitting here all sleep-deprived from election week. JUST GET TO THE TOUYAS. WE WERE PROMISED TOUYAS!!

sigh

“tee hee it’s fucking hilarious how goddamn powerful I am now lol”

alas, in spite of myself I do have two serious takeaways from this. one is that AFO is still controlling most of Tomura’s body behind the scenes, which both does and doesn’t bode well for Tomura (like, at least he’s not dying, but the long-term implications of this for his free will and such certainly are not Good). and two is that this confirms that Ujiko did give Tomura at least one powerful mutant quirk, which explains why he was still so deadly and indestructible even when Aizawa was using Erasure on him (since Erasure doesn’t work on mutant quirks, just emitter and transformation ones)

MEANWHILE ON TODAY’S EPISODE OF “TODOROKI SHOUTO’S TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD LIFE”

I like how he doesn’t actually say that he can’t take on Gigantomachia. just that he can’t take on him and Afomura at the same time. that’s confidence, baby. that right there is why you always draft Todoroki Shouto in the first round for your fantasy team

HADOU!!!!

OOOH, TOMURA’S ALL “MAN, THIS GIRL’S WAVE POWERS AND THIS KID’S ICE POWERS ARE A SUPER-STRONG COMBO DAGNABBIT.” YESSS I LIKE THAT, TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW COOL AND POWERFUL THEY ARE

HOT DAMN LOOK AT THAT

um but not to take away from this exceptionally cool moment or anything, but why is Endeavor dying and shouting “RUN” down there in the corner um

oh

excuse me. not to take away from How Bad This All Is, but!!

just a little, smol, IidaBaku for everyone. Iida, who apparently doesn’t know a damn thing about first aid and is all, “hmm that’s a pretty bad-looking puncture wound he has in his left shoulder there, I think I’ll just let his arm dangle freely like that and I won’t bother taking off his heavy gauntlets either. I mean. he’ll be fine, probably.” smh. at least Shouto probably cauterized the wounds

EXCUSE ME WHAT

TIME FOR MORE OF THAT GOOD OLD FASHIONED SHOUNEN RIDICULOUSNESS I GUESS LMAO. KACCHAN YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO. THERE IS A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, AND YOU LOST LIKE FOUR GALLONS OF BLOOD, BUT SURE. “PUT ME DOWN” HE SAYS. FIRST OF ALL, PUTTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT BE CONSCIOUS, THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO DO, LIE DOWN AT THEM?? LISTEN, YOU SWEET IDIOT. TAKE HEED, BELOVED DUMBASS!!

ah well. I guess he gets to watch the Touya Show now too then lol

LMAOOOO now Machia’s lifting Tomura carefully in his palm like a broken action figure and Spinner is all “THE FUCK, YOU LOOK LIKE DEATH WARMED OVER”

“oh hey there Spinner. well let’s see, I woke up from my three-month coma and destroyed a city, had my body incinerated, and am currently being possessed by a diabolically evil potato. but please, tell me more about everything you've been through”

AW YISS AND THE FOCUS NOW SHIFTS TO THE TODOROKIS. EVERYTHING IS PROCEEDING EXACTLY AS WE HAVE FORESEEN

Endeavor my dude. it’s as if you want to die here. also holy shit, that bit about his lungs definitely does not bode well for him either

MOTHERFUCKER

GO AHEAD AND SIGN YOUR OWN DEATH CERTIFICATE, WHY DON’T YOU!! FLAGS UPON FLAGS. JESUS CHRIST

meanwhile Dabi’s just waving at ‘em

lmaoooo please oh please Caleb please keep this ‘EYYYYYYY’, it’s fucking perfect kdlshk;hg

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: so as you will see very shortly, I completely missed this detail in my first read-through because I was so anxious to get to the reveal page, but THIS MOTHERFUCKER LITERALLY DOUSED HIMSELF WITH INSTANT HAIR DYE REMOVER THAT HE’S JUST BEEN CARRYING AROUND IN A LITTLE HIP POUCH APPRENTLY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. MOTHERFUCKER. I HAVE NO WORDS.)

IS THIS THE TIME. IS THIS THE MOMENT?! HERE IT COMES SLKFHS BRACE YERSELVES LADS

EYYYYYYYYYYYY

OKAY EVERYONE JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED!! SURPRISED FACES ON THREE! ONE... TWO... (•̪ o •̪) !! okay how was that

LMAO ENDEAVOR

at least Shouto looks properly stunned. Enji just looks like endeavor.exe just straight up stopped working

meanwhile Deku’s out here trying to do the math on this latest surprise family reveal! first Tomura is related to Nana, and now this. what’s next. who are you related to, Spinner. he rips off his boots to reveal engine legs and declares himself Iida’s long-lost uncle

oh shit Touya

it’s as if a million fanworks suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly jossed. who knew that all this time he was secretly sporting a crop top scar

also, THIRTY?! holy shit son you been busy

la la la two-page spread of Touya casually driving the dagger into Endeavor’s hero career and rocking the foundations of hero society as we know it la la la

la la la!!!

OH IS THAT THE END OF THE STORY THEN

almost got confused for a sec. there’s two monologues happening at once here. Endeavor doesn’t even know that his dirty laundry is being aired out nation-wide as we speak ffffff

btw while I appreciate the close-ups of Enji and Shouto here for sure, ngl I would also really love to see everyone else’s reactions right now. SHOW ME BAKUGOU AND THE LOV YOU COWARDS

is his hair actually turning white all of a sudden?? your hair dye just reacts on command??

(ETA: in all seriousness though, the hell kind of hair dye was he using? all he has to do is pour a bottle of that stuff and not even lather it in and it’s just gone just like that?? what the fuck would have have done if it ever rained lmao.

and this motherfucker just goes and leaves the dye remover in afterwards, too. I have never dyed my hair in my life and even I can tell you that’s probably not a good idea, Dabi.)

is this it. is this the legendary Dabi Dance in action. lmfao

oh hey what the fuck

so you figured you’d just murder your innocent younger brother to get revenge on dad, huh. well that’s nice

is that really all there is to the origin story though?? feels like we’re still missing a huge chunk of it. what was it that finally sent him over the edge? or was the trauma of being created as Endeavor’s perfect little hero tool and then being subsequently rejected by him enough on its own? because I’m still kind of confused on the part where he goes from “abused and discarded by his father” to “killed thirty people and was plotting the murder of his own brother” to tell you the truth

(ETA: lmao the initial fandom reaction to this did not disappoint. listen guys. people can be traumatized and shaped by awful circumstances that are completely out of their control, and grow up to be people they wouldn’t have grown up to be if things had been better, and all of that absolutely sucks, but. it doesn’t mean they get a get-out-of-jail-free card for all of their future actions, either! the tragedy of this situation is that terrible things happened to Touya, and he then went on to do terrible things himself. the tragedy of it is that this is exactly how the cycle of abuse keeps repeating itself on and on and on. maybe one of the people Dabi killed had a child who will now grow up traumatized themselves, and potentially go on to pay it forward themselves when they grow up. the tragedy is that the eye-for-an-eye justice that Touya is seeking out won’t actually make anything better in the end. the tragedy is that we understand why Touya is so angry, but that anger has basically warped him into the gleefully sadistic dancing figure we see in this chapter who has stopped caring about anyone else’s pain or suffering and just wants his own revenge.

anyway. basically what I’m trying to say is that it’s possible for the concepts of “Todoroki Touya was an innocent child and a victim of abuse” and “Dabi is a grown-ass motherfucking adult who killed thirty people and PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THAT” to coexist lol. like, y’all wanted your moral grey, well HERE YOU GO lmao, eat up.)

lol but LOOK AT THAT BOY DANCE HIS LITTLE HEART OUT though

Todoroki Touya confirmed not a fan of the Endeavor redemption arc huh. well we all saw this coming lols

anyways here’s a sexy Touya for y’all

you really are the most theatrical bitch I s2g lmao

also for real though, what is happening with his hair? anime team in shambles here. they’re probably just gonna double down and keep it red. too bad though cuz this is a surprisingly good look on him

SO MANY CLOSE-UPS OF THE TODOROKI FACES

friendly reminder that Dabi without a doubt REHEARSED this speech like a thousand fucking times. LET US FALL TOGETHER!! COME DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL. apparently if you fake your own death in middle school you will never mentally age past that point and will remain a permanent chuuni

OH LMAO THAT’S THE END

we really just gonna end on “DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL”, huh. very well then. you know what song to play, Horikoshi. one, two... YOU ARE MY DAD. YOU’RE MY DAD!! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

[meteor752]

Dsmp Hogwarts AU, except it’s all the characters and I go into why they are what they are, please reblog this took a long ass time

Man, what a title Huh? Anyways, this will obviously go over the characters and not the content creators, because in some cases those are vastly different

Also, before we start, I will go over an important thing that I will mention probably a few times, and that is the difference between Hufflepuff Loyalty and Slytherin Loyalty.

Both of these houses value loyalty, but in very different ways. Take for example that you’re a spy who has their best friend as their partner, and you’re out on some super important mission. Let’s also say that your partner got shot and is close to death, and the only way to save them would be to abandon the mission entirely.

A Hufflepuff would try to complete the mission because it would be the best for all, while the Slytherin would abandon the mission despite the fact that it could result in countless deaths, just to save their friend.

See it as Selfish Loyalty vs Selfless loyalty. Both are great things to have, but are still different.

Anyways, on with the show

Tomathy Danger Kraken Careful Innit

I have seen people try to argue that this boy is a Hufflepuff because of his loyalty and such, but gosh darnit everyone this child is a god damn Gryffindor. I mean, one of his main character traits is that he’s brash and too brave for his own good. The reason he got fucking exiled is because he burned down George’s house without thinking of the consequences, and then just screamed at Dream without thinking of the consequences. The same goes for Ghostbur’s “death”, it was because he had no real plan except Stab Dream with an axe. So yeah, Gryffindor

Wilbur Soot

Slytherin, 100%. This man has created one and a half nation, one entirely out of spite, he was both a general and a president, he’s a smart lil fella, and he managed to hold his own against the god of the server. I don’t even thing you guys wanna argue with me here

Tuberculosis Underscore

This one is tricky, because it’s really between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw for me. Like, he does possess the Hufflepuff loyalty™ plus he is very kind, but he’s also one of the more logical and observant characters we have in this server (The bar is very low let me tell ya). But I think I will have to go with Ravenclaw, just because like, the boy invented nukes. He built fucking nukes. So yeah, a very chaotic Ravenclaw that will spout bee facts at you, be prepared

Technoblade

My man is a Ravenclaw, no doubt about it. I mean, he started talking about an old greek myth in the middle of a war? Just Ravenclaw things amiright?

Philza Minecraft

I will have to go with Slytherin on this one, simply because of the large amount of Slytherin Loyalty, but also because of his cunningness and resourcefulness, but for real this was very tricky, simply because I don’t like to think about c!Phil too much because as some of you may know, I kinda hate him (Not the cc though, obvs, he’s awesome)

Ranboo My Beloved

Hufflepuff. This boy’s ideology is literally “Choose people, not sides”, he’s an honest and compassionate boy who works hard, and has a very open mind. He’s literally the by the book Hufflepuff

Eret

Honestly, Slytherin. I mean, they are ambitious as fuck, both shown by them betraying L’Manburg for the throne, but also by working hard towards their redemption arc. They are also a good leader of the smp, and in general a great role model to have

Nikki Nihachu

This one is actually difficult, simply because Nikki has gone through quite the character arc the past couple of months. She started out kind, sweet and loyal, a classic Hufflepuff. Then she joined the syndicate and straight up tried to kill a child, which is less Hufflepuff but who am I to judge. But in her core, as seen through her discussion with Jack about Tommy’s revival, she is still a good person that works hard for what she believes in, wants the best for everyone (Despite sometimes working in her best self interest) remains kind through it all. So yeah, Nikki is a Hufflepuff, just a bit of a sadistic one. But we can’t all be perfect ya know?

Fun Jonathan Michael Vincent Georgina James Sus Dy Soot

Ah, my favorite character, and also one of the best examples of a Ravenclaw. And I ain’t saying that just cuz I’m a Ravenclaw, Fundy is one of the most Ravenclaw characters out there. He’s creative, Clever, Spontaneous, Witty, Curious, Sharp, and a real trickster. The idea of Ravenclaws being the goody two shoes kids that always does their school work is just false, we never do our Homework and instead sit and read about things we find interesting, and Fundy is a good example of that. Also he was quite the eager learner during the Dreamon Hunters arc, which again is a good example of a Ravenclaw. So if Ranboo is the by the book Hufflepuff, then Fundy is the by the book Ravenclaw.

Dreamwastaken

I’m pretty sure it’s confirmed that Dream is actually a Slytherin, and I ain’t arguing with that. This boy is cunning, sly, a leader, traditional, Self-Preserving, and a master with words. There is not much more to say here, apart from the fact that Slytherins main colour is literally green, so it all checks out, this boy is a snake.

George Lore

Mr not found over here really is hard to pinpoint down, simply because his main character trait is his apathy, which isn’t really a trait for any of the houses. I was discussing this one with my girlfriend, and both of us were pretty clueless of what to do with him. I was thinking if Hufflepuff since they take the ones that don’t fit anywhere else, but then I was reminded of the most recent Dream XD stream, which showed us one thing, and that is that George is clever, observant, and Sharp Minded, all the traits of a Ravenclaw. Sure, he could also be Slytherin as he was both cunning and sly as well, but I think Ravenclaw fits him more personally.

Sappitus Nappitus Boyhalo

Finally we have another Gryffindor, there’s been a serious lack of them on the list. My man is a fighter, he’s bold, he’s brave, he’s passionate, he’s confident, and he doesn’t really think that much of the consequences of his actions (Cough the pet war cough), so yeah this boy a lion.

Punz

Ah, Punzie, the mercenary themself. Tbh, I know very little about them because Punz don’t get involved that much in lore unless they are hired for something. I mean, they were in the eggpire, but even then they were barely involved, which is sad cuz I like Punz. But what we have seen of Punz is that they are someone who does not care about you or what you want, as long as you pay them. They are power hungry and self preserving, which means that I have to put them in Slytherin.

Jack Thunder1408 TV Manifold

The boy who I can’t help but be sympathetic towards. Jack is also a hard character to pin point because of the reason that he’s gone through quite the development. Jackie boy is a very broken character that has literally been through hell, so it’s hard to properly sort him. He’s quite confident and clever, yet cunning and resourceful, so for me it’s either Slytherin or Gryffindor. But I do lean towards Gryffindor more, partly because of his stubbornness and gullibility, and part because of all the fire imagery that’s associated with him. I mean, the cc described him as burning inside, he’s been through the scape of fire and death, and he burnt his nation to the ground. In case you didn’t know, Fire is the element of Gryffindor, so yeah, another red and gold boy.

JSchlatt

Schlatt is as both charming, charismatic and calm in the early days, using subtle manipulation tactics to get his way and achieve ultimate power. He’s ambitious, narcissistic, cunning, and tyrannical, while still hiding it all behind a facade of smiles and waves. He could also be both cruel and irresponsible at times, aka the time he had an underage child drink during an event, but ya know, mistakes. So all in all, I think it’s pretty clear that he’s a Snakey boy.

QuackityHQ

As much as I love CC!Quackity, I also fucking hate him because of the many, many different directions he’s taken this character which makes it possible for him to fit in literally any of the houses. The duckie is both Chaotic and lawful, he’s both friendly and hostile, he’s a smart cookie and a fucking dumbass, so like bruh. But, I’m gonna have to go with how he is now, which is manipulative, power hungry, cruel, and strong willed. Aka, another Slytherin.

Karl Jacobs

Finally, a character that is not broken down to the point of barely making out a readable personality. Karl is a kind and funny person, who is very open to new people considering how often he gives tours to visitors and new people, and he is quite literally loosing himself traveling through time in an attempt to help people. Hufflepuff

Awesamdude

This one I know will be controversial, but I’m saying Hufflepuff on him. Sam is one of the best cases of the Hufflepuff loyalty, literally letting both Tommy and Ghostbur be stuck and ultimately die in the prison just so he wouldn’t risk Dream breaking out. Before that point he was very kind and gentle towards Tommy, literally building a robot to keep him safe and take care of him. Sam nook is a reflection of Sam’s feelings towards Tommy, and they are kind and gentle.

Dropsbyponk

Ughhhh, another tough one. Ponk is a chaotic being who is mostly neutral in conflicts, but is shown to be very open about their feelings towards those they care about, like Sam or Foolish. They seem to be have strong feelings in what they believe in, and can be a bit brash sometimes, not really caring about the consequences of their actions, which is what makes me say Gryffindor for them.

Badboyhalo

Our favorite muffin demon. I assume, I don’t know what life you live. Anyways, Bad is like the stereotypical Hufflepuff. The kindhearted, well meaning, sweet, responsible Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuff that’s like in all of those incorrect quotes blogs and “Slytherin and Hufflepuff friendships uwu” posts. But for real, Bad is very Hufflepuff. He does however have Slytherin Loyalty, considering he pretty much sacrificed the entire server for Skeppy, but if you would try to convince me that Bad is a Slytherin I will just laugh at you

Skeppy

It was at this point I realized what I’ve gotten myself into with this post, which you know, not fun. Skeppy is both cocky and filled with energy, with a real ambition to cause chaos. He’s also shown to be willing to sacrifice himself for the person he loves, Bad, when he gave himself up to the egg. I’ve seen some people say Slytherin, but I’m kinda getting Gryffindor from the lad, so yeah, another lion.

Antfrost

Frosty here is a kind hearted person that for the most part seem to be along for the ride. He reminds me a bit of a parent of toddlers, with his patience and serenity towards the more chaotic people on the server, so of course my natural instinct is Hufflepuff. Buuuuut, then there’s again the issue with the egg and the Slytherin loyalty, this time towards his boyfriend Velvet who he was willing to join a cult for (relationship goals) but again, you can’t really say Ant is a Slytherin considering how wrecked he was about what he did while in the eggpire when he was released from it’s grasp. So yeah, Puffle boy

Captain Puffy

Oh captain my captain, you are such a Gryffindor. And some of you may disagree on that, stating that she’s a Hufflepuff or something (I did research before this to check what other people think, I know) but naaah, she a lion. Puffy is very motherly and protective towards other people on the server, especially the minors, but in the way that a Bear is protective towards its cub, which is gentle towards them but fierce towards others. Puffy also falls natural in the role of a leader as seen with Pro-Omelette, but that is kinda expected since she’s a past Pirate Captain. But she wasn’t the leader she was supposed to be, as she waited quite a while to act against the eggpire out of fear of hurting her friends, which lead to quite the damage towards the rest of the server. She’s also been shown to act on impulse, killing Antfrost and taking one of his lives after he killed her son. Idk if this is a good explanation of why I believe Puffy to be a Gryffindor, it sounds more like I’m claiming her to be a Slytherin or Hufflepuff, but she is a Gryffindor I promise!

Foolish Gamers

Foolish is a kind and friendly being, if not a bit naive and easily distracted. He’s also not the brightest person, in fact I’d go as far as to call the guy a Himbo, and he can be a bit skittish sometimes if he’s stressed or haven’t taken a break in a while. But despite it all, the guy is someone who’s creative and hard working, with a brilliant mind for his building. The man is an artist who can get grumpy if you suppress his creative aura, and put his heart and soul into his works. He also has a habit of getting wrapped up in big projects, and ignoring sleep or personal care until he’s finished them. This all leads me to say that Mr Gamers is a Ravenclaw, just not the smartest one. But hey, we can’t all be geniuses, can we.

Slimecicle

Slime is very naive and very trusting towards people around him, taking every word they say as a fact. He can also be a bit dark and ominous at times, but quickly shakes it off as nothing important. This all makes him quite childish, which is very hard to sort, so I’m gonna say Hufflepuff for his friendliness and move on.

Purpled Bedwars

I actually started loving this guy the minute I saw him, purely because Purple is my favorite colour, like my man has taste. Purpled, like Punz, is a guy who helps whoever pays him the most. He’s not interested in most things on the server, too busy looking out for number one (And Dogchamp of course). He’s very self reliant and resourceful, but still quite passive. He may not be the most ambitious guy, but Purpled is definitely a Slytherin (It also brings me and my girlfriend Serotonin knowing that the mercenary siblings are both in the same house, we love those two)

Hannahxxrose

I don’t watch Hannah that much, but god I love her voice, it makes my lesbian little heart happy. Hannah is a friendly person who is very naive about the conflicts on the server, thinking it all can can be solved by placing a rose (God I wish). She’s a good decorator and a good hearted person, who unfortunately fell victim to the egg’s influence. I’m going with Hufflepuff on her, but I’m honestly not entirely sure as I don’t know that much about her.

HBomb94

H is a very well meaning person that only really wants people to be friendly towards each other. He had a strict moral code and he keeps to it, as shown where Fundy tried to get his help with blowing shit up. He’s very helpful to those who ask and is willing to back up his friends when it’s needed, which makes me say that the friendly totally not dirty cat maid is a Hufflepuff.

Connoreatspants

I just want you all to know that I’m writing this before Connor’s lore stream that surely will just go against everything I say because fate hates me, just so ya know. Connor is not a person that does stuff on the server with lore and he for the most part keeps to himself, so this is a bit hard. Connor also has this thing where he likes to say things just to confuse him, and also making a bit of cursed lore, but he’s still a fairly humble person. He does lie and steal a bit, and has this habit of moving into other people’s houses, but I digress. I’m actually leaning towards Ravenclaw on him, for some reason, so that’s what I’m going with until I have more of an established character.

ItsAlyssa

I know she has left the server and stuff, but she was one of the original members so it would be a crime not to include her. Alyssa is a bit chaotic, often going on killing sprees, or burning down the trees outside of L’Manburg. So I’m placing Alyssa in Gryffindor, but to be honest I don’t really know at this point.

Callahan

How do you sort a person who does not speak, stream, or show like anything of his personality? The answer is, you don’t. Hufflepuff is the house of those who don’t fit in anywhere else, and that’s where I’m placing him.

Vikkstar123

Please log onto the server I’m begging you, I didn’t watch you as a kid and honestly know nothing about you. From what I’ve seen of Vik he’s a very humble person that tries to stay out of it all, instead forming a land together with his bro Lazar. Honestly my instincts say Ravenclaw and I trust my instincts, so I’m putting him in Ravenclaw

Lazarbeam

Lazar was actually a big part of the exile arc which I realized after already have written his, so now I gotta rewrite it. Lazar is fairly ambitious on the server, and has the goal to obtain the most powerful objects on the server just to rival the other strong members of the smp. He’s especially against Tommy, and aims to do a lot to be the opposite of him, aka well respected and not a war criminal that got exiled (Totally fair goal). Despite that, he was able to show some empathy to the British child, even going as far as to give him a disk during his exile. This all makes me say Slytherin on him.

Michaelmcchill

Newest boy. Michael is a very apathetic person, showing little to no empathy towards most people’s trauma on the server. The person he does feel empathy for however is Dream, who of course did nothing wrong and is locked up in the prison which is just horrible oh no. Michael just truly does not care about what you’ve been through (as of now) which is why I’m gonna say Slytherin, because he does have Slytherin loyalty towards Mr Was Taken.

TL;DR

Tommy-Lion

Wilbur-Snake

Tubbo-Eagle

Techno-Eagle

Philza-Snake

Ranboo-Badger

Eret-Snake

Nikki-Badger

Fundy-Eagle

Dream-Snake

George-Eagle

Sapnap-Lion

Punz-Snake

Jack-Lion

Schlatt-Snake

Quackity-Snake

Karl-Badger

Sam-Badger

Ponk-Lion

Bad-Badger

Skeppy-Lion

Antfrost-Badger

Puffy-Lion

Foolish-Eagle

Slime-Badger

Purpled-Snake

Hannah-Badger

HBomb-Badger

Connor-Eagle

Alyssa-Lion

Callahan-Badger

Vik-Eagle

Lazar-Snake

Michael-Snake

So all together we have Seven lions, Ten Snakes, Seven Eagles and Ten Badgers. I think that’s fair tbh

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, long time followers will probably remember having read this, but I can’t find the original post and I’m trying to like.....force-reboot/jumpstart me working on my ‘Kings of the Sky’ AU again because I haven’t touched it in awhile and I have like literally eight different installments in various stages of completion and that’s ridiculous even for me. So here’s a repost of the first part of “Teachable Moments” the canon-divergence point of that AU series, where Jason calls Dick for advice after the Garzonas case and everything changes from there.

******

The way Jason Todd warily eyed the device in his hand, one might think it was an instrument of great and terrible destructive power, rather than just…his own personal cell-phone.

To be fair, he was Robin, and pretty used to the idea that even the most unlikely of things could be used for evil in Gotham. It could’ve been stolen and replaced at some point by a henchperson of Mr. Freeze, and using it could unleash some kind of cryogenic freeze ray that would turn him into a Robinsicle. Mad Hatter could be up to shit again, and dialing the phone at this very minute might mean syncing it up with a remote radio signal that would override his natural brainwaves and turn him into Tetch’s mindless minion of like…doom and stuff. Or…or…

Or sometimes, even in Gotham a phone is just a phone, and Freud is still a dumbass. And neither of the above possibilities had anything to do with why Jason was being a giant freaking pansy about entering the last digit of the phone number he would never ever admit to having had memorized for months now.

Nightwing had said to call if he ever needed to talk. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t actually want Jason to call, right? Like, its not as if Jason had remotely been expecting him to do that, so its not the sort of thing someone did just because it was ‘expected’ or shit. He was pretty sure. Rich people manners were weird though. Had to factor that in.

But Nightwing had also even made a point to say not talking to people about stuff was Bruce’s problem and that Jason shouldn’t let it be his problem too, and even though months ago Jason had been a starry-eyed dumbass who was totally drunk on the Bruce is the Bestest Kool-Aid or whatever, ‘Wing had definitely known what he was talking about there. So maybe he’d get it, and having this conversation with him wouldn’t be. Like. The actual worst idea in the history of ever.

Deductive logic said that Jason was getting worked up over nothing and there was no rational reason for him to be this nervous about dialing a fucking phone number. And he’d gotten pretty good at the whole deduction shit, given all the work he and Bruce had put into training his mind to view the world through entirely new paradigms, so Jason was pretty sure his math on that checked out. But on the other hand, Bruce was a hypocritical asshat that Jason was currently not speaking to, so what the fuck did he know about anything?

Aaaaand he was back to square one. Well damn. This was excellent. Very productive. Good hustle out there, Jay.

Sighing gustily, Jason flopped back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to pretend he hadn’t gotten used to how luxurious and cushion-y his ridiculously expensive mattress was. He’d gotten soft, he told himself. Then he scoffed at the idea that the past year and a half of rigorous Robin training and patrols had made him less tough than the pipsqueak he’d been back when living on the street, getting his ass kicked by bigger and badder on the regular. That hadn’t been hardness, that had been bravado.

But it had gotten him this far in life, so maybe there was something to be said for it after all?

Ugh. Decisions were hard. He objected on principle. He also really wanted to understand why he was this nervous…if he could literally fill the guy’s shoes and kick supervillain ass as Robin, what freaking sense did it make that he couldn’t even call him up on the phone?

Maybe you just know better than to ask him questions you don’t really want to hear his answer to, a smug voice said in the back of his mind. It sounded suspiciously like Willis Todd, which was all kinds of weird and fucked up, cuz Jason was damn sure his abusive a-hole of a deadbeat dad had never said anything that insightful in his life.

Which meant it was his own screwed up subconscious - presenting in the voice of his not so dearly departed douchebag dad, no less - that had Jason reacting out of spite, entering the last number and hitting Talk, all while totally on autopilot. Because apparently we’re all making healthy life choices in this Chili’s tonight, Jason snickered somewhat hysterically while his phone rang once, twice, three times.

Ugh. Was he always this fucked up in the head and he just never noticed, or was it a side effect of running around rooftops in a cape. Inquiring minds wanted to know.

“Hello?” Someone said then, answering on the fourth ring. Jason sat bolt upright, his nervous humor vanishing as quickly and unexpectedly as it’d hijacked him in the first place. For all that he’d only actually interacted with the older man a few times, his voice was instantly recognizable. As was his slight confusion.

Right. Because why would Nightwing have the untraceable number of the latest burner phone Bruce had given Jason, when the ever paranoid Bat had him swapping out phones every freaking week? Duh, Jay.

“Uh, its me,” Jason said hastily, as if he could somehow catch up to and overtake the epically long ten second silence he let lapse before his mouth started making words again. “Jason?”

“Jaybird! Hey! What’s going on?” The older vigilante’s tone instantly morphed into one of surprised delight, so apparent even across the phone that Jason actually pulled it away from his ear and stared at it, as if that could explain Nightwing’s inexplicable giddiness. He’d literally only met the dude three times. Give or take a concussion he was forgetting about maybe? Weird.

Then again, the older man was a circus performer from birth. Might just be good at faking being super excited to hear from people? Whatever. Still weird.

“Uh, you said to call if I was ever having, I dunno, issues with Bruce I guess? So I kinda had a question? I mean, if you’re not busy or anything.”

Just one question? Willis’ voice asked snidely, echoing in time with the rapid tripartite beat of Jason’s heart. Since apparently everything Jason said was trying to come out with a question mark attached to the end of it at the moment. Ugh, fuck you, subconscious, Jason thought forcefully, even as he ransacked the recesses of his mind for that bravado he was thinking about earlier. It had to be in here somewhere…

“No worries dude, I’ve got time. Hit me!” Nightwing said cheerfully. His lighthearted cadences were so at odds with the sweat suddenly breaking out on Jason’s forehead, the younger teen couldn’t help but wince in anticipation of its inevitable change once he got his actual question out. This was a bad idea, he decided, way too fucking late for it to make a difference. He had a hunch Nightwing wouldn’t be content to ‘just forget it’ or whatever even if Jason chickened out now.

So he took a deep breath, shrugged and did what Jason Todd did best. Said fuck it, put pedal to the metal, and drove at full speed for the metaphorical police barricade that was his way of picturing all the things telling him He Should Definitely Just Not.

“Do you think I’m someone who could kill somebody in like, cold blood?”

Aaaaand there went the lightheartedness. Well, he’d definitely stone cold killed that, Jason thought grimly into the silence that followed.

“Huh,” Nightwing said at last. “You’re gonna have to give me a second to switch gears here, Jay. I was kinda expecting something along the lines of ‘how do I avoid Bruce giving me the safe sex talk.’”

Jason flushed and nodded jerkily, not that the older man could see it. Still, it’d been enough of a workout just getting to this point. He didn’t trust what might come out of his mouth next if he kept trying to force it. Thankfully Nightwing didn’t make him wait too long before continuing.

“I think anyone’s capable of killing somebody in the right circumstances,” Jason’s predecessor began carefully. Except that was not remotely what he wanted to hear. Or helpful.

“I’m not looking for platitudes,” Jason grit out, not angry at the other vigilante so much as the whole fucked up mess and his inability to think about anything else at this point. “It’s just a simple fucking question. You’ve met me, do you think like, I’d be capable of just killing somebody or not.”

“I’m not offering platitudes,” Nightwing continued calmly, as if he wasn’t phased by the younger boy’s interruption or sudden aggression at all. “And its not a simple question at all. Speaking from experience, most people wouldn’t think of an eight year old as a cold-blooded killer, but that’s what I could have been if Bruce hadn’t stopped me from killing my parents’ murderer when I first tracked him down. And yet that’s still totally different from when I held a gun on Two-Face barely a couple years later, about to shoot him because somebody else told me to, and because I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me. Wouldn’t you agree those are two different situations and two different ‘kinds’ of cold-blooded killer? Context is kinda a big deal here.”

Huh. First off…what the fuck? Jason stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying to hurry up the processing functions of his brain because, again, what the fuck? He was like ninety nine percent positive none of that had been in the Dick Grayson Is The Greatest and Here Are All The Reasons Why brochure he’d had read to him every time someone new found out he was Wayne’s newest stray, and like. Uh. Yeah, that part would have definitely stood out. Because once more, with feeling:

“What the fuck?”

Oops. That hadn’t been supposed to be out loud. Bad mouth. Bad.

Nightwing just did a weird kinda half laugh half sigh combo. Rueful, Jason would describe it, if he were describing it to someone else, which it kind of felt like he was, relaying the conversation to himself now that it’d taken a hard right turn into the surreal.

“Blindsided you with that, huh? Sorry, should’ve figured neither of those are the kinda stories Bruce would want to share with you. Then again, I don’t really have any idea what Bruce has told you about me.”

“Not much,” Jason admitted. Which was a major source of irritation, if he was being honest. The much sung praises of Dick Grayson came from literally everyone he met except for Bruce. Who usually just got a pinched expression whenever Jason brought him up, and a rapid subject change that was not nearly as subtle as Bruce seemed to think it was.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Nightwing sighed. “I hope you haven’t put too much stock in anything else you’ve heard about me then. I’ll admit to a bad habit of enjoying my mystique, so secondhand hearsay tends to lose my best nuances.”

Despite himself, Jason’s lips curved up and he let out a rueful huff of his own. “I mean, this definitely isn’t where I saw this conversation going.”

The older man chuckled. “Thought I was going to just assume the worst and chuck the book at you?”

“Well. Yeah.” Jason shrugged, even though he knew it wouldn’t come across. “Bruce did.”

Nightwing heaved an exasperated breath. “Yeah, that’s kinda the thing about B. Sometimes, he’s great. Other times, he’s an ass. Its kinda an either or thing. He’s never really mastered the art of finding a midpoint between two extremes. Mostly because he’s never seen the point of aiming for middle ground.”

“Well its not like he’s ever really had to,” Jason griped. It just slipped out before he could stop it, leaving him feeling guilty for bad-mouthing B when he wasn’t around to defend himself. Especially since he knew Nightwing wasn’t the guy’s biggest fan these days. But he couldn’t deny it also felt good, in a way.

To his surprise, Nightwing just laughed. And not even in a malicious, spiteful kind of way, but almost relieved.

“God, thank you. You’d think that ‘hey, so my billionaire guardian kinda has entitlement issues’ would be a water is wet kind of revelation, but try saying something like that to pretty much anyone else…”

“And they look at you like you’re an ungrateful asshole?” Jason finished for him. Not that he’d ever actually tried saying that to anyone before, though he’d definitely thought it a time or two. But he could all too easily imagine the reactions he’d get, which was pretty much why he’d never gone so far as to speak the words.

“Yup,” Nightwing drawled, dragging out the p and popping it with emphasis. “And its not about being grateful or not, its just…there are some parts of everyone that just aren’t up for grabs, for other people to weigh in on or take charge of, you know? And a lot of people just don’t get that…because nobody’s ever tried it with them, or had to deal with expectations that…overstep, let’s call it?”

“Is that why you left?”

Jason winced the second it left his mouth. Too far. Definitely way too far, but he’d just gotten unexpectedly comfortable with the back and forth, and now he’d done the overstepping thing himself and was left with just dead air.

But ten seconds of heavy silence stretched into twenty, and went no further, as Nightwing sighed into his side of the phone again.

“The spiteful part of me wants to say it was more of a push than me just up and leaving,” he laughed again, but this time with unmistakable bitterness. “But even while that’s true, its not really the right answer to your question, because no matter how much of a clusterfuck that was at the time, its not…I mean, I knew at the time how to fix it. Where and how I needed to cave in order to make up with him and let things get back not quite to normal, but at least close enough.”

The pause wasn’t as heavy or tense this time, as Jason could almost sense the older man gathering his thoughts, trying to put them into words. He bit his lip rather than risk any more unexpected utterances escaping. This might not have been where he’d thought his phone call would lead, but now that he was here, hearing the answers to questions he’d wanted to ask for over a year and finding them almost comfortably familiar, he wasn’t going to risk distracting Nightwing or shutting him up for well. Anything.

“But it would have meant me caving. Settling in ways that I just…couldn’t. So in a way, yeah, I did leave, it was still my choice. And all of that was definitely a big part of it. I love Bruce, I do. I just couldn’t live with him anymore. Not without feeling like I had to give up my own autonomy and just be what he wanted. Or what he’d expected me to grow up to be, back when he first took me in. And as grateful as I am to him for that, I can’t honestly say I would have stuck around back then if I knew that was the price tag attached. I’m not…I don’t do well with people trying to force me to stick to one place, one thing. I was born on the road, you know? When I was a kid, I expected to spend the rest of my life living like that. Home was people. Not places. And so Gotham…its never fit me quite right, the way it does him, or even Barbara. Its not like I was miserable there, its just.”

“It wouldn’t have been your first choice,” Jason finished again, quietly. There was silence again for awhile.

“No. No, it wouldn’t have been. Not then.”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Pharaoh’s Cool New Trick

Digging my way through quite a pile of commission work (funny how these things only come all at once or not at all), nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, was looking forward to some free time to catch up on my many little side projects when I was asked to take off for a weekend to do some cat-sitting to which I would NEVER say no to a cat, so like...Rip this blog I guess, we only update like once a week nowadays, but what do you do?

That’s right, play Puzzles and Dragons! The only phone game worth paying any attention to! Where they just released Pegasus on their Yugioh Collab and he looks pretty great!

So I’m just gonna take a second for some art appreciation, because the Puzzles and Dragons art team is just A++++ honestly, and yes, I did pull 13 times to get a Pegasus in my monster box, and yes, he is a completely insane team leader that is absolutely broken when paired with Yugi (the numbers are so satisfying) but...look at him. He looks so good!

(also I finally got Joey Wheeler, and so now my gatcha cravings are settled. And, don’t worry, I play this game so much that I was there during Christmas when they offered like a bajillion stones for free so I didn’t actually use real money on this.)

Now PAD also released a Weevil and Rex, and I don’t know why, and neither does the art team because they still look pretty good but in comparison to all the mains, they sure do looks like just some shorty guys in some casuals.

though I gotta admit, I want to learn how the hell this art team does swooshy effects, because man, that would make my art so much better to just have flames violently exploding out of all my art. Why am I not doing that more often? I have the technology.

anyway, I didn’t bother trying to pull them. Maybe I’ll accidentally pull them when they eventually release a Duke Devlin. (also, RIP to the fact that Roland will probably never be in Puzzles and Dragons but like...I can only send them so many polite letters covered in stickers pretending I’m some 10 year old child and writing in my broken Hiragana “Roland in PAD?”. Thems the breaks. (They also might not remember who Roland is.))

Shoutouts to the card that Weevil is holding that is censoring this nipple on the booby spider, PS.

So because this is not actually a Puzzles and Dragons blog, and it’s been ten eons since I regularly updated so I could remember episode to episode...where the hell were we?

That’s right, we’re on an island now. This show’s wonderful obsession with evil islands (and spoiler, this is one of the few Yugioh Islands that doesn’t explode at the end. Mostly because Kaiba isn’t here to do it or this place would be cinder)

(read more island stuff under the cut)

Anyway, after announcing “hey guys! Screw islands!” Yugi immediately collapses and without any warning.

Apparently the armor is a big ol parasite, which is something that Yugi is so used to at this point that he refuses to admit that this is a problem. Just normal Muto stuff, refusing to tell anyone that he has a serious illness going on underneath that giant mass of hair.

(the sailor moon vibes coming off this weird orb energy)

Sort of feels like a call back to S1 when Yugi was clearly possessed and everyone else was like “He acting weird to you?” except it’s S5 and everyone has learned to never trust Yugi when he says he’s fine and they are responding like he is about to die. Which is correct.

Outside of the cave falls this scroll that is...glowing, I guess. So they open it up and get a bunch of hieroglyphs that give them the “riddle of light” and like youknow...it’s riddle stuff.

They’re doing this riddle for “wings.” And it’s like...everyone’s monster here has a set of wings or an ability to fly. Every single monster except for I dunno, flaming swordsman? Hell, Yugi himself had two sets of wings when he fused with Dark Magician (which was weird, and I still don’t like to think about what technically was going on there.) But we have to go and get ourselves even more wings.

Weirdly, Joey turns to Tea and does something that in any other show would be completely normal. He was like “you want to stay here with Yugi, don’t you?” and it was the first time Joey has ever actually addressed the fact that Tea and Yugi are close. Uncharted territory. I was amazed at the amount of casual shipping that is happening here. It’s almost like a normal ass relationship.

So the boys decide to go off, and be boys and tackle this themselves. And they shouldn’t have, because Tea is smart for this group, and also has the only healing spell.

Like if you’re playing D+D you wouldn’t typically leave your only healer behind. Just saying.

Also like...Grandpa Muto went with them? I guess he’d have to since he’s the translator but also...kind of weird to leave your grandson dying in a cave, but maybe that’s just the Muto lifestyle.

Do not be fooled by my caps, no one has addressed the Bakura in the puzzle for 3 seasons. I’m starting to think this show will never address the Bakura in the puzzle. Which honestly, that would be hilarious if they made a big deal out of that plot point and then couldn’t use it in the end.

And speaking of plot points that kind of come out of nowhere and don’t make full sense with the continuity of the show--Joey has regressed back to the 4th grade.

Hey show? What?

So like if you love Joey, this is not the arc for you, because this arc he is reduced to a Himbo and nothing else. Straight up didn’t know what an echo is, but is very strong and pretty, I guess.

This inevitably happens with any TV show becuase different people make different parts, and I’ve brought up before that sometimes it feels like some teams only have loose post-it notes of what any character should be like at any given point (ESPECIALLY with Seto Kaiba’s timeline) but like...

...Personally I’m mot so fond of this interpretation of Joey, kind of ignores Joey’s best traits, and makes Tristan look way too smart in comparison (and like I always pinned Tristan to be the Himbo of the group, but maybe it’s because they give Tristan so little else to do?)

And like don’t get me wrong, Joey’s a dumbass a lot of the time and needs to get corrected by his pals...but...to the point he doesn’t know what an echo is? He’s a dumbass in a High School student sort of way, youknow?

Anyway, they get down to this big ravine, and they have to destroy this stone while the light passes over it. Kind of feels like a Breath of the Wild shrine quest, actually. In fact, I think Breath of the Wild recycled the shadow/sunlight pathing quest like 4 or 5 times. (I love Breath of the Wild to death but boy did they run out of ideas at the end there.)

They have to fight a glass monster and it’s kind of like...do you know the game Balls 3D? probably not, but it looked like a bunch of random shapes stuck together like a 90′s animation. They basically went to war with shapes.

Pure Himbo energy, has several pokemon, but punches for his pokemon instead of using them. A power move if I ever saw one.

Youknow that would make pokemon a lot more interesting if you could like throw out your pikachu, and then choose to just physically run up to your opponents Eevee and sock it in the jaw. Raise of hands--I know you all would love a version of pokemon like that. Let Ash Ketchum punch a Ratata.

Bro has informed me that Ash does do something like this in the anime. But I’m not talking about the anime, I’m talking about the video game. Give me the option to physically combat my rival. This is what I want, Pokemon.

They discover a way to break the monolith, and the show thinks we’re like actually 7 years old (because the show is Y7, although I forget because it deals with so many dark themes) so the show is going to hold on to this puzzle for a while...just to fill time. And it’s fine because we gotta switch over to Pharaoh anyway.

Yami has this dream again. He attempts to fuse with Dark magician to overcome the dream, but alas, he is still not strong enough.

Yugi wakes up in this murky cave while Tea is out washing out like...some rag? (he’s also still got a rag, so I guess multiple rags were required for how sweaty Yugi is.)

Yugi says “I feel like I’m a new man!” a lot in this episode, and every time he calls himself a man like he’s some sort of adult it’s very funny to me.

And then this plot lore dropped.

I mean I guess inevitably it had to happen...

But man, end of an era. It was freakin hilarious while it lasted: that Pharaoh refused to read ancient Egyptian because it’s like 2002 and he is a High Schooler living in Japan and he actually doesn’t WANT to resolve the mystery of the puzzle. Maybe the people who made this arc don’t know about how in S2 and S3, the fact Pharaoh couldn’t read Marik’s back tatt was like...a really big issue. He couldn’t read the God card, he couldn’t even read that massive tablet that read “HEY PHARAOH THIS IS LITERALLY YOU”. KAIBA had to tell him how to read the God card for him. Freakin Seto “Magic is a lie” Kaiba had to tell him how to use the God Card because Pharaoh couldn’t read it.

But like...Pharaoh finally gave in at some point after the world was devoured by the Leviathan, and before Kaiba finished building Kaibaland (which was already built in S1 but wtv)

The timelines on this show have always been a mishmash...but this one is just like...

...show are you trying to convince me that at any point in this show after season Zero, Pharaoh had any idea what he was doing? Did he sap that brain energy straight out of Joey Wheeler so he could do this?

Wow.

(secretly hoping he forgets how to read Egyptian after this arc is over and the show goes back to the other development team)

Pharaohs reasoning is that, if this is the riddle of the light.....

....then where is the riddle of darkness????????????

and when Tea was like “Pharaoh that is not even remotely logic. Omg it’s so bright outside, lets go back to gross cave.” and Pharaoh was like “Tea! You got it!” and she was like “What the hell are you talking about?”

Not gonna lie, I saw the Orichalcos green, and I got concerned.

Anyway, Yugi gets very frustrated and was like “ugh, lets go save em. They’re gonna die (again.)” and marches down there as if he didn’t pass out an hour ago.

And he fuses with Dark Magician again while everyone else (including his grandpa) was like “Yugi are you freakin kidding me? The suit freakin kills you omg! Tea you had one freakin job!”

And then we get the plot twist that...I mean it makes sense but it was choreographed in a confusing way.

And out of no where this guy shows up again:

So this mysterious man shows up and says “If you don’t succeed you have to live here forever” which...nice...that would probably save the world a lot of problems if Yami got locked away and took his OP puzzle with him. And then this man also says “if you do succeed you become VERY POWERFUL” and Yami was like. “...”

This whole episode had a theme to it, where Tristan and Joey were trying to prove that they could do things on their own and without Yugi’s help. And honestly...felt a little bit misplaced. Yami’s the same guy who murdered Yugi last season with the Orichalcos so like...

...I mean he is probably more reliable than Tristan who once died and turned into a robot monkey for 10ish episodes.

and then they flew into a glowing door.

Folks, this was wild to look at.

This is wild.

And at this point I closed Photoshop and thought I was done. But then I looked at my timeline on the video and was like...wait...there’s more?

and I’m really glad I kept watching because it went back to Alex, who...is apparently just still at those steps in this haunted ass Pyramid.

Now we’re watching Yugioh.

I forgot for a second when they turned Joey into a Himbo and made Pharaoh literate, but we’re back. I mean...

...look at the liner art on this adult man.

So...I posit the question...has Alex spent the last 2-3 episodes doing nothing but applying eyeliner to his face in the dark? Because he absolutely has. And honestly, the vibe of being in a spooky haunted pyramid with barely any light, just applying eyeliner down the edge of your face...that’s a Yugioh vibe, if I ever saw one.

This arc is wild. Anyway, next episode we do even more fetch quests and riddles? Just going to guess now that we probably will.

(and for those new here, this is a link so you can read them from the top. Which, since we’re in S5, means you got like...hours of Yugioh content to read through. Enjoy the rewards of my weird hobby.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[catzula]

Don’t be late.

Warnings: Cursing, 4.5 k words, fluff in general, Bakugou being a dumbass, reader is always late.

a/n: I genuinely had fun writing this fic and I hope you guys have fun reading it!

Synopsis: you're a student at the support section and since Bakugou literally drove everyone else insane, you were the last person that would help him with his costume. Little did he know that you had a crush on this sparky sparky boom man.

Everybody in the support section just hated that one guy. That guy named Bakugou who would practically harass people until he got what he wanted. Well, okay, almost everyone who knew Bakugou hated him but people in the support section hated him in a whole new level.

He was a nightmare. Nobody could even stand him.

Well, nobody except for you. You thought of him as intriguing, as well as a pain in the ass. But even him being a pain in the ass could be justified in your eyes, you knew he was doing all this simply because he was a perfectionist. Of course he could tone it down a bit, but... That would.be very out of character, wouldn't it?

He thought of himself as the best and it shouldn't be a surprise, for him to want to have a hero costume that was also perfect. You could understand that, but it still didn't change the fact that he was the worst kind of customer anyone would ever have to work with.

He had never worked with you though, he was in class 1/A for gods sake, of course he didn't work with you... Well, that until he ran out of people that would help him willingly.

"You know what? I'm done. Go fuck yourself." Were the words that echoed in the room, suppressing even those deafening machine sounds. Your friend threw Bakugou's costume in his face harshly, still cursing under his breath.

"Tch, whatever! You're just some extra that can't even do what I asked for." You watched Bakugou as his upper lip curled threateningly, reminding you of a wolf, and boy did he look pissed. Like, really pissed. His crimson eyes glaring at the guy in front of him, who was packing his supplies and trying to get away from this angry dude as soon as possible.

"That's the thing, Bakugou! What you want doesn't exist! I don't have these miraculous powers that when I snap my fingers your costume just turns into something else. You have to give me details of what you're asking and you have to ask something that makes sense! Not just some dumb idea that popped into your mind!" Everybody knew that was a lie. Bakugou always had the most amazing ideas, so creative and so... Logical. It's just that they were too... Much. To much to execute, they were brilliant but not doable.

"First of all, it does make sense, it's you who can't understand! Second of-"

"Whatever, Bakugou. I'm done with this shit. Go find someone else to help you with your costume."

"Who the fuck are you to not let me fucking talk? I will fucking kill you-"

"That's enough Bakugou." A monotone voice that came from the door made Bakugou freeze. You knew this black haired guy, he was the Eraserhead! You saw him around the campus but never from up this close!

Bakugou looked at his teacher, never losing that wolfish expression on his face, and he exited the room without saying anything, which was a first for everyone in this room. Eraserhead also exited, looking like he was about to go in a coma.

The room was still silent, until it wasn't.

"Oh my God, what a fucking jerk."

"I can't even believe how you managed to put up with him that long."

"He's not even that good."

Lie. That was a big fat lie because Bakugou may not be a lot of things but he was that good. Still, you chose to stay silent, your eyes still glued to the door he just exited from.

He amazed you, really. You noticed him the first time he came to the support section, his aura screaming confidence. He started to come there frequently, making everyone else go crazy, but you just kept noticing small details about him every time he came there. He was an asshole, no one could deny that, but he was also amazing.

It was amazing how determined he was, even though it was a pain, his perfectionism also left you in awe, how smart he was, how confident he was, how strong he was...

You realized your big crush on him the day you saw him on that sport festival. The other people thought it was so unheroic of him to go that hard on Uraraka, which was so stupid. Didn't she also want to be a hero? Wasn't she going to the same school as him, going through the same trainings? It was only normal for him to beat her, because if he didn't, she would have beaten him. Would people tell her it was so rude of her to go that hard on him too? No, you thought he was astonishing to act the way he did.

Him being so proud, not accepting the first rank made your heart beat faster. He was just so strong, so proud, so vulnerable it made you want to hug him tightly and tell him that he was your hero.

Not that you would ever have the chance though, or so you thought.

He came back not even after a few days, making everyone groan in frustration. He went straight to the table that displayed the recent projects that were done. The table existed to give an idea of what anyone could do so they could choose along shit what they had in mind. So that meant, who's item he chose would have to work with him. All of you eyed him, waiting to see who was the very unlucky person.

He picked one invention of the table, looking somewhat intrigued, and looked around the room trying to guess who it belonged to. When he couldn't guess he went to the nearest person and shoved the invention in their face. "Who does this belong to?!"

The person he was holding eyed the object he was holding suspiciously, relief written on his face when he saw it didn't belong to him. "I think that's Y/N's."

You could hear the sighs of relief around the room. So did he, but he didn't seem to care. Instead he walked towards you, he was so close you could smell-

Why on earth did he smell like... Caramel?!

"Is this yours?" You felt the tingling sensation of excitement all over your body, giving you goosebumps. "It is." You answered, which made him narrow his eyes, looking at you suspiciously.

"Is it really yours? You did this?" Now that was straight up rude. "Yes, it's really mine, asshole. What kind of a question even is that?!"

He shrugged shit a smug grin on his face. His eyes wandered over you, looking at your (e/c) eyes, your face, your figure, and his grin grew wider.

"I haven't seen you around here before." Ah, the angry boy was back. His upper lip curled ever so slightly, looking at you like you were some lowly human. "Oh yeah? Well I have seen you quite a lot here. You know, while you were making everyone else go crazy."

Your answer turned his face red with anger but -a miracle- he was holding back! You could see it was really hard for him not to scream insults in your face but he was aware that you were his last chance. Oh didn't that just boost your ego. Now it was your turn to look at him with a smug grin on your face.

"Whatever." He mumbled pulling you to the nearest table. "What are you-" Before he even let you finish he shushed you and lay down the papers he was holding on the table. You looked at what's on the paper, it was a costume drawing, a really detailed one at that. As you got closer to the paper, inspecting it, he was watching your every move with narrowed eyes.

After you memorised everything on the paper you bir your lip, trying to hide your admiration. "Did you draw this? Are these all... Your ideas?"

The drawing wasn't amazing but it was neat, everything was calculated to the very core, the ideas were so clear on the paper, making you feel like you only had to follow these instructions and do nothing else. "Yes, of course I drew them! Everything you see there is mine." He said angrily but you could see he wasn't actually angry, just proud.

"Well, they're pretty good, if I'm going to be honest." You said trying to hide your excitement. You traced the drawing with your finger.

"I know they are. But can you do it?" His smug grin was back and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at him. Could you do it?

You smiled sweetly and surely enough he smiled back, already knowing your answer.

"Nope."

His smile dropped, leaving it's place to a furious look in his eyes. "You dumbass, then why the fuck are you wasting my fucking time?!" He screamed, people around you shot you a knowing look. He pulled the paper of the table harshly, about to leave when you held his wrist and made him stop.

"Can you stop for a fucking minute and listen?" His eyes widened when he heard you cursing, a big contrast to your sweet tone and face. "I can't do this, but neither can anyone else."

"What the fuck does that mean?" He screamed making you winch. "Can you just- shut up for a second? This is not possible, get that in your bigass head. But-" you stopped thinking for a second. You shuffled around the drawers in search of a pen. "But, I can do this instead. This would be much more possible, and it would give you what you were aiming for. Of course it wouldn't be the same but the end product will be helpful."

You said quickly sketching your idea on the paper, as quick as possible before you forget what you were thinking about.

When he saw what you drew his burrows furrowed and for a second you thought he was mad at you but instead he huffed. "Tch, not bad I guess." He said, but internally he was so impressed that you actually came up with this alternative in a few seconds of so.

"Wait, does that mean you'll work with me?" You said eyes open wide. Well the question was more as, would you work with him, but he didn't say that. "If you can do it, I will."

"That's amazing, now I finally have a worthy client!" You said excitedly and on of his burrows went up, sending you an questioning look. "Worthy of... You?"

You shot him a killing glare but stayed quiet. "Let's work on this idea a little more, what do you say?"

He shrugged. "It's too noisy in here. Lets go to the library." He said ready to pull you out of the room but you shot a glance at your phone, pouting. "Can't, I gotta finish this side project today. Meet me at the library tomorrow? How is 4pm?"

He wasn't really happy since you couldn't work on it immediately but he had to be a little nice to you, not just because you were the last person that would actually help him, but your idea was also pretty good. "Tch, whatever. Don't be late."

You smiled sweetly, making his heart beat a little faster. Why did his heart beat this fast? Was this your quirk or something?

"Bye Bakugou." You waved as you started to sketch something on a sheet of paper.

***

Bakugou was sitting in the library, shooting angry glances at the clock. When he saw you coming towards him with a big smile on your face, your hands full of papers, books and stuff, he felt his heart jump. This had to be your quirk.

"Hey! So I worked on this idea we talked about yesterday and-" Before you even sat next to him you started to talk without even stopping to breath. "You're late." He murmured with and angry look in his eyes, you looked at your watch and smiled apologetically. "Oops, sorry, I was with Shinsou about- well that's not important is it? It's 5 minutes anyway."

Bakugou had always been an angry individual but today he could practically feel his explosions itching for him to release them. You saw the look in his eyes and laughed, "Hey, chill out. I'm sorry, alright? I'll make it up to you with a coffee, how does that sound?"

Bakugou didn't even like coffee but he couldn't refuse this offer either. "If you get there in time."

You laughed once again, a sweet sound that made Bakugou feel proud, even though he didn't even know why he was proud. "Yes, yes, I'll be there on time. But let's discuss this now." You lay the papers down, showing a few new sketches.

You both worked on it for a long time, even though it felt like a few minutes at most. You sometimes felt his gaze on you, instead of the paper in front of you, which made your cheeks flush red.

"So um-" you said, not really sure what to even say. "This was nice."

He had never heard anyone from the support section say that working with him was nice, but he still took the compliment. "Meet me at the coffee place tomorrow? Since it's weekend we can meet a little earlier too."

His eyes narrowed as he looked at you. It was weird having someone who actually wanted to work with him and it felt odd. A good type of odd, if he had to confess.

"Don't be late." He said.

You laughed. "I won't."

***

You were late.

Bakugou was about to go crazy waiting at the coffee shop. He felt so stupid for waiting for you but felt even worse for not being able to leave. His mind kept making you excuses, every time the door opened he felt his heart jump and that made him so angry at himself.

He was about to leave when the door opened once again, this time it was actually you entering. His eyes widened when he saw you, you looked incredibly pretty without any dust smeared on your face, your (h/c) hair in a cute style that enhanced your beautiful face and was that... Make up? He wasn't sure, hell, he never even realized any of these things before. But he couldn't take his eyes off of you and felt his anger die inside him.

You saw him and your eyes shined in a way that made him want to smile too, a cute smile was on your face when you came to his table.

"You're late!"

"That can't be I'm actually-" you checked the time and pouted. "Oh, I'm late."

His eyebrows furrowed, so he wasn't even important enough for you to actually show up on time? He was about to say something mean but held his tongue when you giggled. "I actually left the dorm an hour early to be here before you..." You shrugged. "Apparently I'm incapable of actually arriving anywhere at the time we agreed on. I hear this all the time, I just can't get anywhere on time!"

He felt a little better knowing it wasn't only him, but still. He was Bakugou Katsuki for Gods sake! He wasn't just someone, he was the future number one hero. Still, he couldn't help but feel good knowing you intended to be here early.

"Whatever." He said not looking at you. "No, I'm actually sorry!" You said biting your lip.

"It's whatever. Let's just get some coffee and get this shit done with." You felt a sharp pain in your chest, he wasn't wrong, but it felt bad hearing that from your crush. You should have known he wasn't actually interested in you, he wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't his last chance.

You still didn't let that spoil your mood, at the very end you were here, drinking coffee with him, weren't you?

"Well, what would you like to drink?" You asked, taking your wallet out of your handbag. His eyes shined with anger when he saw what you were doing.

"Like hell I'll let you pay for it!" He said, stopping you.

"But this is for making you wait yesterday!" Feeling his hand holding you made your heart jump. "And well... Today too." You added.

"I don't care, I said I won't let you pay, and I won't."

"But-"

"Stop arguing for fucks sake!" You closed your mouth at that. "O-okay. Well I'll have (your favorite beverage)." You saw him smile at your answer and stood up.

You were trying to calm yourself while he was buying you coffee, didn't even realize someone was calling your name. "Y/N!"

A hand touched your shoulder, making you jump in surprise. It was a certain indigo haired boy who looked very much sleep deprived. "Oh, Shinsou!" You smiled sweetly. You have helped him a lot before, which ended with you guys being close friends.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, even though it was a stupid question, he was addicted to coffee. "Well, duh." He said, shaking the carton of coffee on his hand. You smiled at that. "But what are you doing here?" He looked around to see anyone familiar that you could be waiting for. He saw Bakugou ordering coffee, but it was such an impossible thing for both of you to be together so he didn't even think about it.

"Well I uh..." You didn't even have time to answer when an angry boy came close to your table. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Shinsou's eyes widened ever so slightly looking at the angry boy, and then back at you. "You're here with him?"

"You got a problem with that?" Bakugou asked, taking his seat right across you.

"Well, we're working on his costume." You said sensing the tension.

Bakugou scoffed, apparently not happy with your answer. "Well, okay. I'll see you around?" Said Shinsou, you could understand why he was walking away, since his motto was stay out of drama. "Yeah, sure!" You smiled sweetly, feeling a little bad because you felt like you were dusting him away.

"Are we gonna start working or not?!" You flinched when you heard him scream, a sinking feeling reminding you once again, he wanted nothing to do with you other than working on his costume.

"Sorry." You mumbled. "So I um, worked on this a little more after you left and I think it would be much better if we changed this to this. Because otherwise it would be too heavy."

Bakugou scoffed. "Hah, I can handle heavy." You glanced at him, surprised by his unnecessary narcissism. "Yeah, I know. But still, wouldn't it be better if it were lighter?" He stayed still for a while then shrugged.

"Tch, whatever." Oh, you were starting to see a pattern here. Maybe it wasn't just unnecessary narcissism, but more like... Trying to impress you?

"Are you training today too?" You asked, just testing the waters. "Of course I am! If I'm going to be the number 1 hero, I gotta train every fucking day."

You tapped your chin with your finger. "That's true. Although I've seen you train before and it looked pretty intense." And that was true. He was training so hard it made you shudder just thinking about it.

"Oh, you were watching me?" Oh, shit. You tried to ignore the heat rushing to your cheeks. "Well I wasn't watching you specifically, but it was so... Extra so I may have looked your way once or twice." You tried to cover. But the smug grin on his face told you he didn't believe it a bit.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say."

"So, what do you think? Should I change this part? Oh and I thought it would be better if we did this too-" You stopped talking when you felt his eyes lingering on you, instead of the paper. "Bakugou?" You said smiling. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm not staring at you!" He shouted, your smile dropping almost instantly. "Why the fuck would I even stare at you?!" His hands were tight fists on the table, his red eyes reminding you of flames. Your eyes widened at his response and you forced a laugh.

"Well, ouch." You said with the same forceful laugh. "I- I wasn't implying anything, you know..." You mumbled.

"I- I..." This was the first time you have seen Bakugou in a loss of words. You shrugged. "Yeah, I know, you want to get this over with as soon as possible."

That was far from what he wanted to say but he accepted it nonetheless.

You both worked on it for hours, once again the time passed quickly, felt like it was a blink of an eye. "That was intense." You said while stretching a bit.

"Well, that was it. We finished the whole design and idea process and I'll take it from here."

His brows furrowed. "What do you mean by I'll take it from here?"

You shrugged. "I just have to actually do this now, so we don't really have to meet like this." Why did Bakugou feel that sting in his chest? For Gods sake, what the fuck was your quirk?

"Y/N." He said that made you stop stretching. Hearing your name from him made your heart beat faster. "What the hell is your quirk?"

"My quirk?" You asked, a little surprised at the sudden question.

"Yes!"

"Well it's not a big quirk. I can manipulate shadows." You shrugged. Your quirk had never came off as handy but it was fun to change the shapes of people's shadows and seeing their reactions.

Bakugou desperately tried to find a relation with your quirk and this weird sensation he felt every time you smiled but he couldn't find any.

"That's a dumb quirk." He said instead. You giggled, surprising him. "It is, but I don't really need a quirk to be special, I can work without it just fine."

His brow quirked up at your response. "If you say so."

***

Everyday for the next week, Bakugou had visited you in your workspace. "I want to see if you're doing a good fucking job." He said when you asked him why.

He stayed with you as long as he could, telling you about his day, about those damn extras in his class, with the exception of "Deku." He was talking about Deku like he wasn't even a part of the class. You knew he was talking about Izuku Midoriya, that green haired shy guy who broke a limb every time he used his quirk. Oh, Bakugou talked about him a lot, with great hatred too.

But even though he was just rambling, you loved to listen to him. And even though he never even implied it, you knew he liked watching you work too. It was probably because he was interested in how his costume was coming up but you still enjoyed it very much.

But the truth was that he had almost completely forgotten about his costume. He was coming to see you every day, every chance because you... You just understood him. But Bakugou was so foreign to these feelings, it made him feel scared and vulnerable.

You weren't aware of any of this, of the internal crisis he was having, so you were surprised when he suddenly stopped showing up.

You couldn't really work too, since your eyes were practically glued to the door, waiting to see a glimpse of the spiky blonde hair, but you never did.

The day you were done with the costume, you texted him. You tried to look as good as you could, cleaned the dust off of your face and your uniform, wore your best perfume only to see someone else who came instead of him to pick the costume up.

It was Kirishima, you had chatted with him before, he was a pretty cute guy, and you knew from your daily chats from Bakugou he liked him too. So just seeing him reminded you of Bakugou which made your mood even worse.

"Is... Is Bakugou okay?" You asked.

You saw the uncomfortable look on his face and you knew Bakugou was avoiding you. "He- he- he is okay... He's just-" You sighed but smiled nonetheless. "It's okay, I understand." His eyes widened. "You do?!"

You shrugged. "He's done with me, I see that. I had the same treatment from some other students too, although it's not very nice, is it? Still, say hi to him for me please."

"It's- it's not like that, he's just-" Kirishima looked a little embarrassed but mostly panicked and you couldn't help but giggle. "It's okay, I'm just happy I could help him."

When Kirishima went back to the dorms, only to find Bakugou on the couch looking at his phone, he was pissed.

"Dude you must be the dumbest person alive."

"Who the fuck are you calling dumb, shitty hair?!" Bakugou jumped from the couch, about to end Kirishima once and for all but Kirishima wasn't having it. "You! I'm calling you dumb! I took your costume from YN, the girl you have been avoiding like the plague, and I was embarrassed for you!"

Kirishima saw Bakugou stiffening as he mentioned your name and smiled knowingly. "Bakugou, if you don't go there and talk to her I will kick your ass."

"You can't kick my ass, idiot." Bakugou answered gruffly.

"Oh but I can. Go fucking talk to her dude! She asked about you, you know? What you're doing is so fucking unmanly." Kirishima gave Bakugou the costume he was holding and Bakugou could swear he could smell your scent on it.

"You call me unmanly one more fucking time and you won't have a tongue to call anyone unmanly. I am the definition of manly."

"Not with that attitude you're not."

"Who the fuck are you, my mother or something?" But Bakugou knew Kirishima was telling the truth, and he just couldn't get rid of this stupid feeling in his chest. Yet, he had thought that if he just stopped seeing you, he would never feel this way ever again. He was wrong. Oh, he had thought of you almost every second of the day, his heart feeling heavier with every second he didn't see you and it was more than he could bear.

He knew what he had to do, he just didn't have the courage before.

"I think- I have to go." He said practically running to the door. He passed the now entering Kaminari with such force and speed, Kaminari almost lost his balance. "Woah, where the fuck is he going?" He asked looking at the grinning Kirishima.

"You'll see." Was his answer.

***

You were about to leave the workshop, later than usual but you didn't really mind working a little longer, anything that would take your kind off of him, you accepted gratefully.

All of that until you heard his voice.

"YN!"

You jumped not expecting this at all. Your eyes widened when you saw the face you had longed to see for almost a week, and there he was, cheeks flushed like he had ran all the way here.

And you knew why he was here. You weren't stupid, the look in his eyes just gave it away. So a smile found its way on your lips, the sweetest smile he had ever seen that made him feel like he could die right than and there.

"Bakugou!" You said, walking towards him. "You're late."

[hopeswriting]

KHR x The Umbrella Academy AU

I need to get this out of my system before I think too much about it and want to write an actual story about it lol. With the Arco as MCs because I’m very predictable. TUA spoilers.

Words: 2579

Kawahira is Reginald because who else he’d be.

Every generation he gathers the most powerful extraordinary kids to make sure there will still be a world come next generation for him to do it again.

The current Arcobaleno he gathered are, well, the Arcobaleno lol.

Maybe there are the ones who’ll be smart enough to find another way around the Tri-ni-sette that doesn’t involve human sacrifices too, or strong enough to fight back against him and not let him kill them even if it means the world burns, or even strong enough to straight up kill him and put him out of his misery.

A dead man can’t be blamed to not give a shit about the end of the world after all or make it his problem.

(Well, this went dark real quick lmao.)

But why does he give a shit while he lives you ask?

He met this one human that one time and love sure has a way to make you care like the dumbest of humans.

(Yes I’m talking about Sepira.)

------

An Anti Tri-ni-sette Movement is born in this generation only, but not so much because of the whole human sacrifices thing mind you.

By design they just so happen to actively trying to prevent it, but they don’t care enough to come up with an alternative to stop the apocalypse.

Not that stopping the apocalypse was ever their end goal because yeah, it’s Byakuran and his Guardians that lead the movement, and Byakuran would just like to say if Kawahira wanted the most powerful extraordinary kids, he was right there.

Also playing the anti-hero (when he’s actually a chaotic neutral bad guy lol) sounded like a lot of fun.

------

The Commission is also still a thing because, well, someone still has to keep track and protect the timelines, right?

And as I’m writing this I realize it would have make more sense to have Kawahira leading it, or even Byakuran, but whatever.

Among their many assassins there’s this one elite squad the Commission tries very hard to keep them out of the field as much as possible (and fails), because they always need to send others agents after them to sort through their collateral damage and actually keep the timelines as they should be.

Yes I’m talking about the Varia.

Byakuran is very acquainted with them (both the Varia and the Commission), because they keep trying (and failing) to kill him.

Because Byakuran keeps using his power whatever the way he fucking wants, even while being very much aware of how timelines work.

Because of course he is lol.

------

Reborn and Verde are number one and two respectively, and always butt heads.

Not because of jealousy or because Kawahira trying to pit them against each other works on them or anything like that, they just infuriate each other at a very deep level lol.

Especially because they recognize (and begrudgingly admire/respect/trust) each other’s respective strengths.

They just don’t agree/approve on how the other uses them.

(Does Reborn need to be such a huge show off all the time? Being confident in his strengths enough to play with his enemies before winning against them is one thing, showing all his cards for the world to see just so he can win against them after they tried their hardest to defeat him is just incredibly stupid.)

(Does Verde have to be so straightforward and play by the book every time? Being the smartest in the room is one thing, walking out of the room alive because of it is another one entirely.)

------

A mission goes wrong and Reborn is dying, so Kawahira injects him with the Deus Ex Machina whatever-it- is, and he gains super healing.

And the super villains and every day villains are in for an entirely new level of Reborn wiping the floor with them lol.

(And yesI know, I’m shallow, but come on Reborn is too pretty to become half-ape, half-human.)

Reborn doesn’t go on the moon.

(They all turn eighteen and Kawahira isn’t even allowed to breathe in their direction anymore, let alone send them on the fucking moon.)

------

Fon is number three.

I have this headcanon he’s a bit of a manipulator, and uses his nice guy persona to wrap people around his finger.

Or he can be anyway, but it isn’t nowhere near in the first options he considers, because I also headcanon he’s genuinely a nice guy.

Anyway he doesn’t exactly hate his power, but he doesn’t trust it himself for shit, and wants to rely on it as little as possible.

So he also ends up a martial artist in this universe, and a very quiet guy.

(He remembers all too clearly what kind of words he can speak while under emotional stress.)

(The awful, horrible, haunting feeling of realizing even he can’t take them back.)

(Lal remembers it too.)

(Then Kawahira makes it so everyone forgets.)

(And Fon makes himself forget.)

------

Colonnello is number four.

Yeah I know, it could be Skull, but let’s go with him.

Reborn is number one but it’s Colonnello who’s daddy’s good little soldier boy.

For a very simple logic that goes like this: the more he behaves, the better he is at being and doing whatever Kawahira wants, the less traumatic encounters with his power he’s forced to have.

(Colonnello was never afraid of the dark, but then he’s thrown into the mausoleum again and again, and he never stops being afraid of the dark.)

So he doesn’t turn to drugs because he can’t afford to not be at the top of his game, but he does turn to Lal and her music.

If he closes his eyes and listens hard enough and it’s loud enough, he forgets the ghosts for as long as the music goes on.

------

On the other hand he can’t help having a bit of one-sided strained relationship with Reborn, with a lot more resentment than he’d want.

(Meaning zero because in an ideal world they’re best friends, and it’s really easy to tell the rare times when Kawahira isn’t looming above their relationship.)

It’s not even like he can’t see where Reborn is coming from, taking a stand against Kawahira and defying them and crossing the line further and further each time (of course he does), but he really could do without the collective punishment.

All in all, number four is doing very good, while Colonnello is doing very bad, and maybe does become an addict as soon as he doesn’t have to play superhero anymore.

------

Viper is number five.

They’re very happy with their teleportation power, and is right there with Colonnello in being daddy’s obedient child until they can hightail it the hell out of there.

Kawahira is very invested in their training and making them take the next big step with their powers.

Viper is smart so they know of the possibility of them being able to time-travel, but no surrogate A+ parenting dad is getting them in no time-travel shenanigans, nu-uh, they don’t think so.

 But then a mission goes wrong, and instead of the little jump back a few minutes in time they wanted to do, they jump in the future.

They keep jumping in the future as they try to go back, and oh, look at this, the end of the fucking world.

And his siblings’ dead bodies.

And a very alive, adult Skull??

(This is such a relief.)

(Skull is so happy to see them again.)

------

Something goes wrong when they try to jump back to the present, and only Viper makes it back.

In their thirteen year old body, because stopping a goddamned apocalypse isn’t enough to deal with already.

Their siblings are useless and no help and broken and very traumatized dysfunctional adults and alive, and they’re so, so happy to see them again.

(If they tear up and cry a bit later when they’re alone, that’s no one business.)

They hug (only) Skull, to no one surprise, and keep hugging, which does surprise everyone, and Skull may have written that book but he’s no monster and it’s Viper, so he hugs back.

(Of course he does.)

Viper still doesn’t know he’s immortal.

(Because Skull is a dumbass and kept waiting for the right moment, and what do you know, it never showed up, but to be fair with him they had a lot to deal with.)

------

No number six even though I do like the Ben, and dead!Ben, and ghost!Ben storylines.

But it there was a number six, I guess it could be either Skull or Viper maybe?

------

Luce is number seven as in she’s the most OP of them all. Not in a “raw strength” sense of course, but seeing the future?

I think Byakuran demonstrated perfectly how OP a power it is if you’re willing to weaponized it.

She doesn’t see the end of the world coming (where would be the fun if she did?), or at least doesn’t understand it’s the end of the world she’s seeing, and not just some big scale catastrophe.

She is not daddy’s good girl even though he shows a particular interest in her power, but he can go fuck himself actually.

She’s a bit of a number four too as in she hates her power, and it certainly gives her her fair share of nightmares.

It’s a special kind of gut wrenching feeling to see when and how people will die, and not always being able to save them even if she wants to.

(Nothing terrifies Luce more than when she sees her siblings in her visions.)

------

Skull is also number seven as in he’s the ordinary one who’s actually the most extraordinary of them all.

They just never figure out he’s immortal because Kawahira doesn’t push them that far in training, and he doesn’t go on missions.

He’s shunned and isolated by everyone, except for Viper and, hear me out, Luce.

Viper is afraid of heights, and maybe it shouldn’t matter because of the “jump” way their teleportation works, but sue them it does and they can’t help it.

Skull is the only one who takes the time to help them with that in another way that isn’t telling them to get over it, or making them dangling over edges.

Their friendship starts from there.

------

Luce on the other hand approaches him for selfish reasons.

Skull is the safe sibling, the one if she were ever to see his death, she can only hope it won’t be a too brutal one (or a brutal one at all).

But then, well. Skull is Skull, and he’s fun to be around with and funny, and he’s so good at keeping you out of your own head and thoughts, and he is such a breath of fresh air from her usual, unbearable routine, and—

He’s better than her at keeping his resentment and envy of her extraordinariness at bay than she is at doing the same with his ordinariness, and she’s so grateful he doesn’t push her away for it.

------

Skull is still very much treated like dirt, and he rolls with it as best he can.

Mostly because being left out of this whole extraordinary superheroes stuff lets him see how truly fucked up it is.

Skull is the one who wakes up at night not because he can’t sleep, but because the others can’t, and they don’t always manage to be silent about it.

He’s the one who sees them coming back from missions injured like no children should ever be, who assists Kawahira during their training and has to help them up at the end of it because they can’t move anymore.

He’s the one who watches them never really growing close with each other as much as he is the only one shunned, because Kawahira only has enough favors in him for only one of them.

Except he doesn’t even have that of course.

Skull is the only one who hasn’t blood on his hands, and he always feels guilty and awful at how relieved and lucky he feels whenever he sees that look in their eyes.

So he rolls with it, but not quietly, and forcefully makes himself a place among them even if it’s only to be their Lackey, because these guys are in dire need of ordinariness, no matter what Kawahira made them believe.

No matter what Kawahira made him believe.

It doesn’t work a lot of times, and only work a little when it does, but it’ll have to do.

Skull of course still hurts and is forced into his own traumatic childhood, so he still writes the book.

------

Skull figures out he’s immortal as soon as he’s left alone into adulthood because he is a dumbass.

The others learn about it because Luce saw the vision of his first death, and they were quite literally there to stop it from happening.

But instead they saw him coming back to life.

They don’t talk about it.

(None of them are in the right head space to talk about it).

And then they’re back at having no contact between them until the next time Luce has a vision of his death.

(Because he’s immortal now, but what if he’s not anymore?)

(Skull is so sorry of this new layer of fucked up he added to Luce’s visions.)

It’s very awkward when Viper comes back and tells them Skull is the only one who survived the apocalypse though they don’t know how, and they have to break the news to them.

------

Lal is also number seven as in she’s the one being medicated to keep her powers at bay.

She’s The White Violin, if only because one of them needs the raw strength and ability in their power to blow up the moon lol.

Lal is extraordinary until she isn’t.

She’s thirteen, and the mission goes wrong, and she’s losing control of her powers, and Fon says some unfortunate words.

Then Kawahira makes him say other unfortunate words, and Lal never has been extraordinary.

(Because she’s too powerful, and he’s trying to keep the world turning, not end it whenever she’ll feel too strongly too much.)

Her relationships with the others kind of fall short because it kind of feels hollow/shallow now, and she ends up isolated too.

But because of their respective unique circumstances, Skull and her unfortunately never bond.

Colonnello and her stays close, because if Lal can be useful with her music that way, she’s more than happy to do it.

And on an entirely unrelated note, I really like the idea of musician!Lal actually.

------

Sepira is Mom.

Yeah I know, the similarities with Luce would be very obvious, but let’s pretend it wouldn’t be.

And they don’t have a chimpanzee uncle, but they do have pets from that one time they gang together against Kawahira.

But they never said what kind of pets they wanted to have lol.

------

So it goes something like this:

Number One: Reborn – Super Strength and Super Healing

Number Two: Verde – Either The Smartest Man In The World or controlling the trajectory of weapons (while still being the smartest man in the world even if it isn’t in the “super” way), or both

Number Three: Fon – The Rumor

Number Four: Colonnello – The Seance

Number Five: Viper – The Child

Number Six: Luce – The Prophetess

Number Seven: Lal – The White Violin The (Extra)Ordinary One

Number Eight: Skull – The Immortal The Ordinary One

*

I actually have AUs of this AU, but let’s not make myself too comfortable in this hole lol. Hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to add!

[sinnamonn]

Welcome to Hell Ch2. “Meet Mammon”

Gia meets their new guard demon, “Mammon”. It does not go well. Also because this is my fic and I can do whatever I want Obey me is now in the same universe as It’s Always Sunny.

Word count: 1.7 K

The demon pointed an accusatory finger at the redhead.

Gia resisted the urge to bite it right off.

“Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once!” He barked, “If you value your life then you’ll hand over all your money now! And anything else of value!”

Was this guy for real!? This bitchass was trying to rob them!? Oh hell no, Gia was not going to get robbed by some twink that still used fucking axe body spray!!

“Otherwise I’ll wipe that—“

“Fuck that and fuck you!” Gia yelled, cutting the demon off mid-threat, “Listen here, asshole, I’m not getting robbed by some twink!”

“Who’re you callin’ a twink!?”

“You, dumbass!”

“You don’t know what you’re dealin’ with, little bitch.” He spat, snarling down at them. Gia only bit back,

“I’m dealin’ with a punkass that’s about to get their shit rocked!”

“Mammon! Shut up or I’ll punch you!” Lucifer snapped, “And Gia, language!”

And then Lucifer just punched Mammon, causing him to stumble back a bit while gripping his head.

“GAH, OW! Hey, what’s the big idea!?” Mammon whined, “I thought you were actually gonna give me a chance to shut up before punching me!”

Satan gestured to his older brother, “Gia, meet Mammon, Avatar of Greed. He oversees all forms of it,” he explained, “whenever he takes a liking to someone they suddenly find themselves awash in money.”

“And he’s a masochist, that part’s important~!” Asmo added, “So I can’t wait to see you put him in his place some more!”

Ok. Ew. Gia didn’t need to know that.

“I didn’t need to know that.” Gia replied flatly.

“And it just so happens I have a job for my masochist of a brother.”Lucifer stated, only to be cut off again by Mammon.

“Quit tellin’ lies! I ain’t asked for that punch and I ain’t a masochist!”

“Mammon, you are going to be charged with seeing to this human’s needs during the exchange.” Lucifer ordered, “I expect your full cooperation.”

“WHAT!?” Both Gia and Mammon yelled at the elder demon.

“Wha!? Why me!?” Mammon exclaimed.

“Yeah, why him!? He literally just tried to rob me!” Gia argued.

“As, lucky you, Mammon! I’m so jealous.” Asmo pouted.

“Then you take them!”

Wait no, Gia got the feeling staying with Asmo might just be worse than Mammon.

“Huh? Hell no. Watching them match your energy is too funny.” He replied quickly.

“You just said you were jealous!” Mammon all but screeched.

“Just give up Mammon. There’s no getting out of this.” Satan looked at though he was holding back laughter, “You know you can’t deny a direct order from Lucifer.”

“But why me!? Why can’t Beel do it?” He whined

“If we hand Gia over to Beel we might as well just tell him to eat them.” Asmo said, now scrolling through his DDD.

“Yeah, I can’t promise I wouldn’t.” Beel agreed.

“...Mammon?” Lucifer asked lowley , his tone was dangerous.

“W-What?”

“Surely you’re not going to tell me you object to this arrangement, are you?”

For the first time, during his introduction, Mammon was quiet. He only held a sour look on his face before loudly groaning, “Ugh, I hate you guys! Fine, I’ll do it, ok!?” His attention turned back to Gia, “As much as I don’t wanna look after you, I’ve got no choice. It’s a huge pain in the ass and I’m too important for this kind of thing.”

Sure buddy, keep telling yourself that.

“But Lucifer told me to do it, so I will. But in return you better not cause me any trouble, got it?!”

Gia took back what she first thought of Mammon. He was worse than the high school boys that got stupidly mad when you didn’t stand for the pledge.

“If you can stay off my dick,” Gia sneered, “we might have a deal.”

“Fine by me, human. Just don’t forget whose boss around here.” Mammon shot back.

“Now that that’s settled,” Lucifer cut in before Gia could say anything else, “Mammon, show them to the house and try not to kill each other.”

‘No promises.’ Gia thought, reluctantly following Mammon out of the hell.

———

That lack of depth perception was really biting Gia in the ass. They felt more like a bird trying to escape a hall of mirrors, bumping into and bouncing off of walls. It also didn’t help that Mammon was practically speedwalking away from them.

“Oi! Human! Would ya pick up the pace, we don’t got all night!” He shouted over his shoulder.

“Oh sorry! Lemme just pop my eye back in and magically gain perfect vision!” They sarcastically called back, “OH WAIT! I can’t!”

Mammon stopped mid-step before turning on his heel and striding over to Gia.

“Wait...you’re missing an eye?” He questioned.

Oh great, was he gonna do that mock-sympathy schick they got more than enough back in their world?

“Damn, Lucifer couldn’t even get a human with all their parts!” He cackled, clenching his gut, as if this were the funniest thing in the world, “He had to grab some broken fucking human! That’s hilarious! ”

Broken....

Did he really just call them BROKEN?

Gia saw red, their lip pulled back into a venomous snarl. How fucking dare he! They were a lot of things but broken was not one of them.

“Oh, I’ll show you broken!”

The redhead kicked the demon’s kneecaps with all this might.

“OW! YOU BITCH!”

Satan and Asmodeus watched as the two left for the House of Lamentation, absolutely transfixed on the two’s interaction. It was like one of Asmodeus’ trashy reality tv shows came to life, neither of them could look away.

“Uh, Lucifer, they’re already fighting.” Satan said, earning a groan from the eldest. Lucifer could feel a migraine coming on, a bad one.

“Oh my god the human just kicked Mammon’s kneecaps!” Asmo laughed, he was recording the entire interaction, “Oh he’s mad!”

“Shit, do I need to intervene?” He asked with only mild concern.

“Hmm, maybe..” Satan watched as Mammon grabbed for Gia, “wait, no he’s just carrying them back to the house.”

————

“PUT ME DOWN!” Gia beat on the demons back, “This is demeaning!”

“Just be happy that the Great Mammon was kind enough to help you!” Mammon shot back, “If you think this is demeaning then imagine how I feel! Why should I have to look after some human !?”

“ Um,bitch, I got isekaied to hell without my consent and now I’m stuck with a bunch of rich boys who reek of ‘I peaked in high school’!”

Mammon gasped, “I did not peak! The Great Mammon only goes up!I’m practically a golden god!”

Why did they feel like they heard that somewhere before? Maybe...back home? Oh shit yeah, Mammon talked exactly like this one guy who owned a bar they’d always go to when they were bored. Wasn’t his name Denny or something?

“And just so we’re clear,” Mammon continued, “it’s not like I can’t say no to Lucifer, okay!?”

Gia didn’t ask.

“I only agreed to babysit you because, um...Well you know, because…...uh…”

“It’s ok, take your time.” Gia said

“Grr! It doesn’t matter! Just don’t go thinking I’m scared of Lucifer or anything! Because I’m not!” He snapped.

“Uh-huh, sure.”

Mammon finally put them down when the two got to the house.

Gia whistled, taking in just how...elegant? No, elegant wasn’t the word they were looking for? A better way to describe the house would probably be maximalist. When they entered they were met with a double stairway accented by two gigantic gargoyle statues. Purple wallpaper clung to the walls littered with paintings of people, Allistar Crowley being the only one Gia recognized.

“This is the House of Lamentation. It’s one of the dorms here at RAD.” Mammon explained, stepping forward, “Well, it's not just one of the dorms. It’s the dorm reserved for student council members….and you I guess.” Mammon prattled on, mostly about himself, “Lucifer, Asmo, and the others take every chance they can get to insult me. Callin’ me scum, sayin’ I’m a money- grabber and stuff…..”

Gia was really only half paying attention, they opted rather to try and figure out who the other people in the photos were. Cultists, perhaps?

“...In other words, I’m a big shot. A real big shot. Like, even other big shots are impressed by—hey are you even listening!?”

“Hm? Sorry, what? I got distracted by the pictures.” Gia gestured loosely to the walls.

Mammon growled, “I was just saying, don’t you go thinkingI’m just some ordinary demon. I’m nothing like those other peons walking the halls here.”

“Ok, cool. Figured as much.” Gia shrugged

“So I suggest-wait what?”

“I figured all of you were pretty powerful, why else would Diavolo leave me with all of you? Demons eat humans, so you put the human with your most powerful and loyal demons as protectors.” Gia elaborated, “So that implies that you’re the most trustworthy and capable of this task, right? Even if you did..try to rob me. But why else would Lucifer and the rest of your brothers leave me in your care?”

Mammon stared wide-eyed down at Gia, they could practically see the gears turning in his head—wait did his cheeks get darker?

He turned around before Gia could really tell, “Well-I’m—I mean!—Duh, of course the Great Mammon is capable!!” He sputtered, “B-But don’t think flattery is getting you anywhere! You’re still just some stupid human!”

“I wasn’t trying to, it’s just logic.”

“SHUT UP. Just-! Let’s just go to your room, OK!?”

Instead of lugging Gia over his shoulder, Mammon instead grabbed their wrist and began dragging them up the stairs, avoiding looking at them.

“Ow! Fine! Lay off the dragging, though!”

Gia’s room was cottagecore as fuck. That was the only way they could best describe it. The room looked like it had been taken out of a fairytale book, it wasn’t exactly Gia’s style but they could appreciate the aesthetic. Objectively, the room was very pretty. That idea was hammered in the more Gia explored it.

It was bigger than the apartment they shared with their mom. In truth, it was more like a closet that somehow fit a bed and dresser.

“Holy shit this bed is soft.” Gia commented once they flopped onto the comforter, “And these pillows! They’re not flat! I forgot they could be fluffy.”

“Oi, human, I got some advice for you,” Mammon leaned over the bed, “ If you wanna survive even a day here in the Devildom, you’d better listen real close to what I’m about to say.”

“Aight.” Gia turned their attention back to the demon.

“If it ever looks like a demon is about to attack you..run. Either that, or die.” Mammon said grimly.

“That’s...Honestly not the worst advice I’ve ever gotten.” They replied.

“How about I vote you to die, Mammon!”

Gia jumped at the new voice, shooting up out of the bed and looking towards the door frame. There stood a pissed off looking guy with purple hair, glaring daggers at Mammon

“AH..! Levi…!” Mammon exclaimed.

[transsexualhamlet]

tg anime vs manga *sighs*

i have the power of hyperfixation and anime on my side! AAAAAAAA

Ok now that we’ve gotten the sins of re post out of the way we need to discuss this. And I just feel that this needs to be covered because I can’t ever get away from constant discourse on this, mostly fueled by manga readers who feel entitled to always think they’re superior for reading the manga, that the manga is the only real canon, that it’s more complex or better, I’m so fucking tired of it. I am also a manga reader, and I tend to get like that sometimes too with many series (for example no. 6 and the promised neverland.) I get it. It can be really annoying to see something butchered on screen to what the original is, changed or represented differently or given a different message or simplified. But just. Some people like the anime and it’s not a goddamn holy war for y’all to fight. It only makes anime fans not want to read the thing even more yknow cause manga readers are pretentious assholes, and I am aware of this as one of them.

(again ok i’d like to mention i know this fandom is basically dead but a certain p*nterest is always like 4 years behind on fandoms so i keep fucking running into Discourse that’s like, still current, whenever i want old random ass content) (and youtube, why do i look at youtube comments, because I personally enjoy being offended? yeah probably)

And that brings me to the point of this anime vs manga. 

This is a lot harder to compare than a lot of other series, because there are just... so many more differences not just in the style and vibe but the story itself.

Disclaimer, I’ve never watched the anime for :re and i don’t intend to, because I honestly have no earthly clue how tf you can get from the highly diverged tokyo ghoul root A to re and make it make sense, and I don’t really want A ruined for me. So you can call me biased towards the manga in the case of re, i guess (which makes my eventual conclusion even more strong I’d say) Honestly I just see them as two completely different stories, the manga’s version connecting with re and A just like... ending there. So how we’re drawing the lines is basically tokyo ghoul A versus the manga and :re. God, I know this isn’t a fair fight because I already hate re so much, but I feel like the manga’s story is much more intertwined with :re than the anime’s is, so that’s what we’re going with.

oh god also another disclaimer this opinion is coming from the biggest fucking kanehide whore, you can disregard anything i say if you ship The Straights and/or do not care for my boi hide

To be honest, if I can take my own conclusions and liberties to the story, I like both versions, each have their pros and cons and kind of a conflicting message. They can’t really coexist. Usually I’d consume all versions and then create one consistent canon in my head for what I accept as the true events (for example my main owari no seraph, first season of the anime is canon but after that we only follow the manga since those can come together and make sense.) but it’s very hard to do that in tokyo ghoul, since I must confess... I really like root A. Like of course, it’s a lot different from the manga, but tbh I think it’s super valid. (unlike most Fans TM like this Fan TM who i’m sending this post to just to spite their singular Youtube Comment Section Discourse, yes I did write this post for you and many others like you) But the ideas that make up root A conflict a lot with the ones of the manga, so I just have to accept that they’re separate things and treat them as such.

Now to break it down so people can understand where I’m coming from I guess? God this is already so long here’s a read more

The Case for The Manga (including :re manga)

More Lore + Plot Shit: One of the main reasons that manga readers are pretentious little bitches is a valid reason, namely that, as is the case with most manga, there’s simply more to it than people can fit into an anime. (Although people need to understand that’s because,,, it’s simply a different medium, so it will have different pluses and minuses, such as for example a soundtrack, color, moving pictures,,, you know, all that. Anime onlys don’t say that the anime is better by stating these things that a manga won’t have... because they’re fucking obvious. So manga readers should stop acting like an anime is inherently sub-par for being less in depth, but we digress.) I can understand that reading the manga is kind of important for wanting to understand the lore (though there are like so many other reasons ppl might want to watch it other than to get the lore) and without the explanation of how all this came to be and how it works, everything tends to be really mysterious, confusing, and seemingly random. It’s really nice to know what’s all going on, of course, and stuff like the washuus, rize’s backstory, the explanation for like, kaneki in general, all that- if you’re looking for like, plot shit, manga is definitely your go to. But like, sometimes, you like, don’t actually care about those things.

Haise: Of course one of the most important things about well, including re is that I fucking love Haise. Like he is my favorite Kaneki. He’s just so wonderful, look at him in he glasses and he floofy hair and he striped pants and he energy boxers and he s p i c e and he MOM. And I really like how they took Kaneki’s character and developed it more with Haise, you can see his turnaround from innocent--> Emo--> Trying To Be Innocent Again But Failing and I think that’s really sweet tbh. I rejected that at first because I didn’t understand it but once I actually read re I thought it made a lot of sense and was a logical thing to do with his character. (though, uh, moving forward, after his hair changes again i disagree with it, haise 1.0 is a good take and i love him and i want the best for him) I could go on I’ve already written a post of what I think is wrong with :re so if you want to hear my take on kaneki’s 37 pokemon evolutions that’s in there

Good New Characters: And of course there are my favorite bitches such as quinx squad, oh my god, there was a terminal lack of dumbass squad vibes in the original and ishida fucking gave it to us, I love them, I love them with all my heart and I think that if I wasn’t attached to them I’d probably just cancel all of :re but like this is just my personal problem. God I love them. Ishida always pulls through with characters I’m now too attached to.

Vore Lmao:Ok like hear me out. I just get a laugh out of it every time the manga has to remind me of this little fucking fact. Like ok I just. Cannot get over it. It’s so serious about it too and like I realize it’s a serious deal but o h  m y  g o d

Ok and now that we’ve got that little rant over I do want to say that it is like actually really important past the “lmao that’s pretty gay” bit, like??? In some ways it’s more fitting than the anime because well, ishida’s point always seems to be “what would mentally and physically hurt kaneki the most right now” and does it because that’s who this bitch is. But it just?? Kind of makes a bit more sense for the storyline if we’re being picky here, it’s so,,, painfully on point? Like the entire reason he gave in to Being A Ghoul and all was so he could save his friends and shit (i actually do not remember if this was a thing in the manga but like? when he was being tortured and he like imagined hide being really mad at him and getting killed by jason and shit?) LIKE AND THEN HE GOES AND HAS TO BASICALLY BE THE PERPETRATOR OF THAT HIMSELF, FUCK, it’s a lose/lose situation of “don’t do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer” or “do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer but like, later” ishida please

The meaning of Hide being alive: Ok this is just me crying over chapter 75 still but like. Instead of in the anime, where hide’s point seems to be that instead of letting kaneki sacrifice anything more he’d be the one to give his life up and such, and save kaneki, in the anime tbh he just really wanted to be with kaneki right then?? and like ouch but understanding that in the manga he wasn’t just planning on dying and leaving kaneki to deal with it afterward he wanted to go on and continue to try to help the guy no matter the shit he had to go through, no matter if the dude just like forgot that he existed for two years and all- LIKE UH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HIDE DOESN’T EVEN EXPECT ANY APOLOGY? like kaneki’s like “OH MY GOD I’M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON” and hide’s like lmao nah it’s cool i’m thriving- that his big motto was “live” rather than “peace out motherfuckers it’s been fun”. Cause. Fucking. Ishida. Can’t kill off characters well but like at least he made keeping this one alive justified. 

The D e t a i l s: Ok well I feel like this is something everyone knows but the anime is missing a lot of really,,, crunchy details that the manga throws in there, like, well, kaneki’s fucking,,, bones thing, and other assorted details, g o d like those are missable if you want to never understand half the memes but also like,,, sometimes you just gotta read that shit. It also like, makes more sense when you do but sometimes it’s just stupid things that aren’t important but are fucking hilarious.

The Flavor: In general I’d say the greatest difference between the anime and the manga is the general flavor of the thing, the vibe in the manga is a lot, to be frank, darker and grosser and bloodier than the anime, which is a lot more focused on being pretty and Tragic than “HOLY SHIT WTF” but like. That’s valid. With that comes it being a lot more, real, and although the art may not be as polished as the anime’s, sometimes that’s exactly what you need, and the really gritty sketchy shit that’s in the manga sometimes is exactly what it’s supposed to be for the manga. (in the anime, i’d say that the colored and polished style fits it better, so we’re good there.) It’s a lot more real, in the manga, when the anime hesitates to “go there” a lot (and well, sometimes that’s welcome, but sometimes it’s like y o u  g u y s  c o m e  o n  r e a l l y maybe i DID want to see that did you ever think of that)

So like, to sum it up i’d just like to say it’s more detailed, sharper and darker and is simply So Much. There is just More Content

The Case for Root A

ON THE OTHER HAND, (buckle up fuckers)

Depth of Emotion (that Ishida was too much of a pissbaby for): God like you know what I mean if you read the last post, we spent a whole episode on these gay fucks in root A, with backstory and dreams and drawn out suspense and emotion and GUYS LOOK AT THEM NO REALLY OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS whereas hide’s limelight in the manga is a whole... two pages, oh whoopee, and that’s mostly due to the fact of ishida putting himself in a spot of “oh fuck goddamn if i drew that in i’d get flagged for gay porn” but that’s his own fault, so he downplays the whole scene and really keeps it in the dark, whereas in this anime it’s understandably a lot less,,, like that, but how it plays out here is simply... really nice and makes you cry and shit, whereas in the manga I’d go “oh god oh damn oh fuck” *laughs my ass off because i really can’t take this seriously*. You get just... more here.

To elaborate on this, in the anime, as a gay fucking bastard, I can get practically an endless amount of content from episode twelve, and endlessly stew over all Those Things about it, every hard hitting line, the expressions, the music making it even sadder, the ways the VAs say the words, the cinematic beauty of the blood dripping on the floor and like how it’s supposed to make you think it’s kaneki’s, GOD I COULD FUCKING GO ON, but if we want to get that in the manga... 

we get three incredibly basic lines, a blackout, and then a “QUICK LET’S MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT HAHA”

So if we want to have more, we need to write it. (sadly) None of it is ever played out canonically so like,,, all we can do is infer and make shit up. It’s like, I am a writer so like that’s my whole job but I really would rather have more content, and have the content that’s there get to be emotional instead of *blank face* “this is plot that is happening, sadly” but like maybe it’s just bc i’m gay

Really Fucking Beautiful (aesthetically as well as story-wise): This kind of just goes hand in hand with the depth of emotion bit, and I think it can’t really compared to the manga here because I’m gay so I see pretty colors and cry so the anime is understandably appealing for me, but I’m also talking emotionally, yeah. There’s a lot of plotlines and implications of the story that are really well played out, I always love to watch the original because it does a very good job handling a lot of the harder topics and stuff that makes the whole thing worthwhile- like the whole point you’re supposed to see that the ghouls and humans are both just as monstrous when you break it down, that there are good and bad people on both sides, everyone just wants to live and feel good in their own life and perspective, everyone has reasons that justify their behaviour in their mind, sometimes you just can’t win no matter what, all that... they’re all really important messages and make the whole story, and they were handled much more delicately and with more expertise in the anime. 

It’s hard to pin down, but I feel like the manga was just based more on Fight Scenes Characters OoH Fake Science and kind of just gave kaneki infinite power ups after Trying Harder no offense, obviously those things were there and they were still very good in the manga it’s just sometimes they were cheapened a lot by ishida really not keeping track of what he’s trying to say with his story and sacrificing it a lot for “BUT WHAT IF KANEKI’S HAIR AND IDEALS CHANGED AGAIN” instead of making it a whole cohesive work. (and yes, I am VERY aware of your “well aCtuAlLy the hair represents his sanity” thing i know i know and i’m about to rip it to fucking shreds so)

Understandable Character Development And Staying True To It: Which brings me to this point, character development. This was another thing that was just... handled with more expertise in the anime, whoever was in charge of it. Mostly this has to do with Kaneki, since like, no offense but he’s the only one who ever gets much character development other than like, juuzou (asmr you only get character development if your hair color changes) oh and i guess there’s tsukiyama but he’s someone who shouldn’t have gotten character development. Touka gets character development only before re for some reason, and like tbh that’s kind of it. I do think Juuzou’s character development was valid, because well... it made sense? I complained about it before because I was like “well he just turns into spicy L” but i’ve since changed my opinion, he’s best boy. But Kaneki? They went way overboard with him in the manga, and generally? Calm tf down ishida.

Breaking it down, one of the main things that most of the tried and true manga stans seem to hate about the anime the most is Kaneki going over to Aogiri in root A. Since they’re much more acclimated to the manga, they don’t understand why he would do that (quoting a particular ‘probably made sense in the manga!’ yes i know that whole thing was poking fun at the show and i felt it lmao) and they just pin it to “ahaha he has now become Edgy for the fans ehehe time to make fun of him” and TO BE FAIR YOU’D BE COMPLETELY RIGHT. I love to make fun of Kaneki when he does his edgy bitch thing because that’s what he is. A basic edgy bitch who is just,,, such a main character. But like. He does actually have his reasons despite popular opinion and to be honest I think they’re a bit more valid than in the manga, where he’s just like “well I’ve been tortured, that was not pleasant and i kinda did a bad thing, let’s go back to anteiku but i’m just gonna Try Harder To Fight this time”. I can understand that, but like, it seems like in the manga every Character Development of kaneki is some form of “i will now be stronger” except for the singular “I will now be a different person” which, well, we’ll get to that. 

In the anime though, even if it seems like more of a basic edgy bitch move, it’s like?? It makes perfect sense to me, and to be honest more than the manga does? Obviously he doesn’t wanna be best bros with Aogiri, he realizes they’re all bad people who have done really terrible things, but the fact is he now sees himself as the same thing, he now understands their motives because in his mind he is also now Bad TM. His whole character development of being tortured was that peace wasn’t an option no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t live being a pacifist and the world was forcing him to give the “i am the only one that understands! we need to stop fighting!” bullshit up because there was no way to achieve it. He realized if he kept himself the way he was more people he loved would be hurt like they already had because he couldn’t, so he doesn’t just Decide To Become Stronger, he gives up his humanity. And that includes basically letting himself defend his own actions and try to do “the right thing”. 

Him then joining aogiri makes sense because well. They’re the people who are the strongest, who have the power, who are the same as he sees himself. He still wants to protect the people he loves, he just also realizes he can’t do it by working with them since he now understands that their more peaceful ways will by definition get them fucking killed. His understanding is flawed, of course. He’s not really right. But this is his understanding and from that it makes perfect sense for him to join up with aogiri and try to still do as much as possible from that standpoint, realizing that most likely the people he’s trying to protect will hate him for it. I think that makes sense to me, what do you not understand about it? (I also understand that may make some people mad because he’d Doing Bad Things but I point to you he’s so soft, remember when he was really nice to naki when he was literally the one who killed the guy naki was crying about? remember when he was doing a raid and he saw that guy hiding and he never mentioned it? remember like the seventy times he Cried TM, yeah he’s problematic obviously but if you want problematic I’ll point you to a certain fucking black reaper. Shironeki has nothing on that asshole.)

I think what Kaneki did in the manga was fine, but in general the anime (again) had more depth of understanding and emotion versus a steady Try Harder Get Stronger shonen deal, which, well, fair, but like, nah. Continuing why I think the anime dealt it better is the ending of A, which was a lot more well rounded then *kaneki gets stabbed and then there’s a lot of random plot shit going on in the background*. Here Kaneki then got to round out the end of his character development by realizing slowly through the second half of this season, him becoming a kakuja and then basically deciding like, not to

((kakuja kaneki was dealt with again different in the anime and manga because he basically stopped trying to use it in the anime bc he realized it was a bad fucking idea but this goes along with the ‘his character development of “i’m gonna do bad things for good reasons” --> “actually no wait that was a bad idea” was actually done in root A instead of being dragged out into :re and it’s appropriate for its own medium and the messages it’s trying to get across so manga loyalists hate it’ but we digress))

So in root A we got to see him actually develop and realize himself through the second half of the season starting with cochlea, his interactions with Amon, and ultimately through Hide, that he’d been doing the wrong thing by becoming more monstrous/fighting harder because what he did was ended up forgetting the most important thing, *smiles in gay* HIDE.(well, his humanity. yeah. i cite the terrible opening for root A with the fun ‘the hands taking off kaneki’s mask are hide’s’ bit.) He then remembered again why he wanted so bad to stop the war between humans and ghouls, he wanted to be able to live in peace and not have to be a monster- something that was not dealt with in the manga (though for understandable reasons of We Need To Fuck With Him In Re More, they then didn’t deliver on creating something like that later so I take this.)

That’s most of the difference between the original manga and anime, but I’d also like to discuss (briefly, I’ve already yelled about them) the ridiculous amount of hurdles ishida went through to fuck with kaneki in the manga, Of course there is the fact that well, the slower transition of his character does make some more sense for the manga because if you take :re into consideration, his eight billion character changes are more tolerable when they haven’t like, already happened before in the manga (just the anime). It makes more sense there for Haise to be tormented by past kaneki telling him He’s Too Weak because in the manga he hasn’t already had that development prior to “dying”, and he lost his memories still believing he had to be strong even if he did bad things, whereas in the anime it doesn’t track because at the end like i just said he kind of gives up his ghoulhood on purpose because he realizes that joining aogiri and fighting and shit was really wrong because, hide. So I can see why those character decisions were not made in the original when planning for :re, but... the fact remains that those previous decisions do not make up for how absolutely weak :re’s game ended up being with kaneki. 

So tldr this entire section, All the manga’s defense of how they handled Kaneki’s development is basically void because all those choices were buildup for development in :re which ishida then COMPLETELY fell down on. So the alternative is better.

And now comes my yelling about how exactly Ishida fucked it up: hair colors and kaneki’s 80 kanekis. If black is supposed to represent sane and white is supposed to represent insane or, whatever, i dunno, who tf thought black reaper kaneki was sane? Who tf would think kaneki in the end isn’t? I haven’t looked into this really, and I’d really love it if someone explained it to me the way ishida was going for bc I do not understand it. Like that tracks with Juuzou, and with Kaneki up to Haise Original, but they don’t really make a cohesive sense seeing as after Haise’s hair color changed again that whole deal kind of goes to shit. Not to mention... I just... they completely failed to make those character changes actually part of the story, I’m mostly complaining about black reaper haise, none of him makes any sense. What’s his deal? He wants to protect who he loves? Tracks with the ghouls but fun fact he abandoned his kids? He actually cared for them? What then, he wants to be the strongest as possible? Sure but then?? Why?? I don’t understand his motives at all.

We also didn’t get to see him get his memories back either, which I was actually very much looking forward to, it just,,, like all of a sudden he’s talking with eto about yoshimura and i’m like bruh when tf did that happen? It’s bad, and although chapter 74-76 is super valid, and his change back into white hair kaneki makes sense, I also have the complaint about how haise basically disappeared just like he was worried he would. I think that was bad and I’ve said that already, it doesn’t make sense, he just literally throws those entire two years away to go back to the way he was before he was with the CCG and just forgets everything he’s wanted for the last few years? Fiction logic test fucking failed, and you’ve also broken my heart. Love Haise. You got rid of him. I love kaneki too but like. Why don’t they just. Like. Merge. He is one whole complex person, not one and an imposter, god. 

This is a big negative for re and the manga, so automatically a positive for root A where I simply Do Not Have To Deal With That Bullshit and the character development actually makes sense. I can understand the decisions in the original manga could have set up for good development in :re, but they completely failed to deliver.

root a didn’t fast forward to re at the end god damn let us process this shit first before you try to connect it to something else: The thing with this point is that it’s really difficult to separate the original manga from the continuing story in :re because the thing intertwines so much and immediately moves us forward with a ton of plot points for the next part of the story before we’re done with this climax and the end of this story. Sometimes that’s ok and I can see doing that from an author’s perspective because you want people to continue reading your story instead of taking that as the end but it’s really annoying on a reader’s end, because I’m picky and I want to be able to just be able to enjoy my original canon without it like, metaphorically touching :re on a plate. It’s something that I don’t even do with my own longer stories, like for example I have like a trilogy of >100k fics that like, well i’m technically not done with them but like. 

People really like the first one because it’s more focused on a more popular ship and basic elements people like about the thing, and then by the second book it moves on to talk more about the plot and lore and brings in more secondary characters. And so I knew that a lot of the readers of the first one wouldn’t want to have to deal with a lot of the “oh well stuff is happening elsewhere that will effect stuff later!!!” random plot shit that none of my readers actually cared about. So I kept it to wrapping up the points of the first book and then leaving the introduction of new characters and plot for the people who actually wanted to read it. Ishida didn’t do that, and of course it’s within his right to like?? Want to promote the next series but I’d have enjoyed it more if we ended it at kaneki’s “death” and wrapping up the deals with the rest of the characters instead of quickly shoving in the beginning of seventy more plotlines before the book ends. Like honey I simply do not have the reading comprehension for that. In the anime we get something that... makes sense.

In the anime, however, it’s quite the opposite, for example the reveals like Eto=owl=takatsuki sen were pushed before that and they saved episode twelve for, well, the end bit. Like what was actually the ending. There were detriments to this I had to say (LIKE GUYS I GET IT HE’S CARRYING HIDE HE’S CARRYING HIM I GET IT YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR HALF THE EPISODE NOW OK I UNDERSTAND CAN WE MOVE ON) But like, I prefer the concept of a simple idea with as much emotion squeezed out of it as possible to a ton of confusing and contradicting ideas that are touched on for a second before moving on. So the *cries for half an hour* ending was much more appealing to me, and I can keep that separate in my head from any of the ideas that :re creates, letting me pretend it doesnt exist and imagine that’s the end and there’s nothing else to worry about. If we want to move forward and hear more, then we can, but it isn’t necessary like it is with the manga.

No Bad Takes that are hard to pry apart from good plot and characters:This is basically the downsides of the new characters, which is well, if I had to make a whole ~keep reading~ post about how problematic everything in re was that does have to count as a downside. I love the new characters, but they also come intertwined with a thousand really bad takes on like, everything, and of course I can ignore it and just act as though they were written in like, to be perfectly honest, a non transphobic way, it’s a real downside when the original anime was pretty pain-free in the way of their takes on their characters. They fucked everyone up in re and I will not elaborate, we’ve talked about this, it’s just the anime, and which i mean season 1 and root A, don’t really have any bad takes I need to try to get rid of, it’s surprisingly something I have little complaint about at all and I ALWAYS have complaints.

Hide!!!!: Obviously, you can tell that a lot of my opinions are going to be hide based because he’s the only thing I ever think about. But we have to take into account just how... hide???? This goes a lot into the depth of emotion bit but it also offers the other side of the argument for Hide’s part in the :re manga, which well. Was mostly chapter 75 if we’re going to be perfectly honest here. He doesn’t get any other limelight. Even in the chapter where Kaneki meets him again he gets a whole what, three pages? In the manga, he has an extremely valid deal about basically, living, keeping going no matter what, and that is a fitting part for the manga, considering the rest of the points there ride more on Keep Fighting instead of Think About Your Emotions And Morals, but honestly chapter 75 was really valid. So why do I still think the anime’s version where he like (ok I don’t know about the re anime we’ve discussed this, i don’t even know how they choose to explain that) he like, dies in kaneki’s arms is better overall? Again, I would have totally accepted that deal if it was made a part of the story because it made me cry, it was super valid, and if they’d continued in that way I would have agreed with it completely over that. But the fact is again that they failed to deliver, and Hide got largely ignored, suffered so much with so little outcome. There was so much buildup and it was incredibly valid, but when the time came for them to meet again and basically show... why it was important that Hide lived in the end? 

They didn’t. They straight up didn’t. Kaneki’s like “oh sorry bro... glad you’re alive and all...” *goes off and fights* and like? Honestly? @everlastingspiral is right, if that’s all they’re gonna do with him what’s the point of keeping him alive? I love every single panel of him and I wouldn’t have read re if he didn’t, but hide gets absolutely NO payoff. For letting kaneki literally vore his entire mouth off, leaving him disfigured and unable to talk, then kind of disappearing for two years and doing seemingly nothing but trying to help kaneki even though he’d forgotten the guy existed, risks his life like a thousand fucking times, eventually gets back to him and the dude’s running a fucking anti-human organization, helps him like Not Be A Volitile Pile Of Flesh Anymore and then what should have been a very important moment of them meeting again gets completely overshadowed by touka and random plot shit and more fights and they barely interact, they don’t even hug or anything, they barely talk, and at the end hide is still there but to be honest he’s gotten absolutely no thanks for all he did and ishida acts at the end as though he’s done very well with hide and gives him a tiny bit at the end throwing in a tragic backstory for fun (which hot take he really didn’t fucking need on top of it all) and... there’s no real hint that Kaneki is better off with Hide there, even though there should be. In 75, in his dream, kaneki is sobbing and crying and all like i’m so lonely without you but when they actually meet each other again? “yo” “hey” “uh sorry about,,, the thing,,, you know” “nah man it’s ok” “let me talk about myself for a bit” “yes you always do do you want to hear what I’ve been up to” “not really” “that’s fine i’m only here to support you”

...So you can understand why I’ve gone a bit sour on that. If that’s all you’re going to give him? Hot take? Let him die. Hide deserves better. (and i will deliver that in writing, but for the purposes of canon.)

In the anime, however (not counting re again... although he still gets the short end of the stick just in the original manga too compared to the anime) he’s properly dealt with! he gets his proper limelight and he gets acknowledged for what he’s done thusfar in the story, which is already so much. Kaneki then realizes that, but it’s already too late (or it isn’t, and they like negotiate with the ccg and then they get to live happily ever after) either way he gets appreciated and he gets hurt, but it’s properly acknowledged. And after all that, after saving kaneki and getting him to the cafe and doing it all while bleeding the fuck out, he gets to spend that time with kaneki and die in kaneki’s arms. And frankly? That’s all I think he’s ever needed. It’s really poetic and pretty and brings kaneki’s character around full circle, and even if it’s overly sappy, cliche, drawn out... he gets the attention he’s due and he gets a fucking break. He wanted to show Kaneki he wanted to do something for him and save him instead of the other way around, but then HE GOT ACKNOWLEDGED FOR THAT, instead of just well, tirelessly working towards it forever and having to be content to be a background character with practically no value to Kaneki anymore.

Keeps The Same Vibe: The big thing about this is that with the manga and with re, shit just goes all over the place, and I feel like I’ve amply showed that already through this essay or whatever this is. Again about the consistency and the professionalism, It’s a concise story that makes more sense than the manga while also being simply neater and more deep, making sure all the points, themes and messages work together and make sense to create a cohesive deal even if it’s not as long. (the manga is like ishida had a TON of good ideas for an essay but then fleshed out the thing ten minutes before deadline and managed to completely lose what his original thesis was even if the thing was 10 pages long.) Basically. yeah. That kind of sums it up, my last point concerns the ending.

Not Cheap Ending: If you want to hear my take about how absolutely terrible re’s ending was, check out my The Many Sins Of Tokyo Ghoul :Re post, and we’ve discussed how the original’s manga ending was bad and well not really an ending, it just leaves you unfulfilled and takes you into “well I guess I have to start a whole nother sequel series ig...” but root A like? Actually ends it? If a reader didn’t know that there was any content after that, they could pretty much infer that hide’s death or almost death whatever you inferred out of that ending (again we’re ignoring re) allowed Kaneki to finish his character development and realize they needed to stop the war, which basically tracks with what’s going on in everyone else’s perspective- eto’s problem with the world because of what happened with everything, is basically like, all of aogiri, juuzou and shinohara, amon and akira and kaneki and they can realize all they have to do is just sit down and fucking stop it because none of them want to be fighting, hide is the catalyst for that because the CCG can see how Kaneki cares for him? And it’s so open ended that you could just like literally believe that and there’d be no way for that canon to tell you otherwise, or you could go onto re and whatever if you wanted to. I think that’s the best thing. 

In conclusion, both have valid points, and in general I’d say that the manga goes better with :re and the anime is better as a stand alone but if I had to choose overall, this particular anime is better (taking into account only seasons 1 and 2), for mostly the reasons of favoring a simpler story taken with much more care and depth versus a more complex story with many, MANY imperfect elements, and I am aware I will get shot on sight for this opinion. So sue me.

[ddaenggtan]

are you gonna do anything for kookie's birthday?? i know a lot of writers are and i was hoping you might be one of them :)

I don’t have anything, tbh, because I’ve been mostly working on my fic for the Love Yourself Collab (which you should def check out bc I know at least one or two have posted theirs and I’m so hype to read them!!) and the sequel to mechanic!joon from the poll a while back. 

I will give you this crumb though, for everyone who read Chasing Butterflies and thoroughly enjoyed it the way I did. 

“I just don’t get it,” Nayun says as she straps her pads on. Jisoo doesn’t react and Rose looks like she might actually kick your asses if you aren’t on the court in ten seconds. “What do you not get? Like what about this situation is confusing?” You ask. “I’m whipped for Jungkook, we been knew, and he’s apparently through some great act of mercy also whipped for me, and he’s bringing every single one of his nerd friends to the match today. Which isn’t at all nerve-wracking. Whatsoever.”

Jisoo rolls her eyes and tugs harder at your laces. She always does your laces, she’s the only one with the upper body strength to tie the things well. You think she might actually be moonlighting as a secret BDSM dominatrix just based on the way she handles them. 

“No, I don’t get why you’re nervous. He’s seen you play before, didn’t he tell you that he tries to come to as many home games as possible? And his friends know nothing about the sport, they won’t know if you fuck it up.”

“Which you won’t,” Rose says from the door. "Because you’re good at this.”

“And because you’ll kill me if I fuck it up.” She doesn’t respond verbally, but the look she sends you radiates ‘yeah and what about it’ energy. “Look, I’m just...scared of disappointing his friends. He talks me up all the time apparently, and if they get bored or are unimpressed then...”

“What, you think he’s gonna break up with you?” Jisoo’s tone is teasing, but when she looks up to see the insecuirty on your face, she softens. “You put on a cosplay for him, and he’s liked you for almost as long as you’ve liked him. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”  

You just nod, tugging at the laces as she finishes tying them. Realistically, you know she’s right. It’s been a couple months since that night in your apartment, and things have only gotten better. He still comes to the coffee-shop to hang out with his dweeb friends, even if he does spend the time waiting for them talking to you now. He still watches his dumbass anime, thoroughly enjoying your flat-screen to do so, even if he gets consistently distracted by the way you lay in his lap. You talk about your practices that he knows a fair bit about because of some anime, he tells you about his nerd shit that you don’t understand but enjoy hearing about anyway, you help him with his essays and he helps you with Organic Chem, and you even buy him little cupcakes every time he gets a new comment on his fanfic. Things between you are good.

You have no reason to worry, you decide as you push out of the locker rooms and head to the court to get warmups started. You spot him, sitting with his group of friends beside where Jimin and Taehyung sit with the rest of the guys’ team to watch your game. Your boyfriend - your whole chest gets warms as you think it, and you let yourself bask in it for a minute because it took three fucking years to get - looks adorable today; big, round glasses, with that soft beanie and a softer looking shirt. It’s got some kind of weird pumpkin(?) on it, with a point and sharp teeth and the back has a scythe and you vaguely recognize it. You’re pretty sure he watched it at your apartment a few days ago, but you also had his dick in your mouth, so you weren’t paying much attention to anything else. 

You wave back when he waves at you, big and excited and cute, and you’re once again hit with the urge to cover him in kisses while also maybe dangling him off a fifty-story building. His nose scrunches in that way you love and you ignore the way it has your stomach flipping. 

Rose pelts a ball at you and you catch it on sheer instinct. 

“Are you actually going to warm up or are you gonna be entirely useless today?” She asks. You glare at her and throw the ball back in response. If you didn’t have firsthand experience with how good she is, you’d wish she was your opponent so you could wipe the smirk off her face. 

Warmups go well. The team you’re supposed to be playing is good, supposedly pretty well-matched to your own, and you’re excited to see if it holds true. They don’t look especially intimidating. The biggest threat seems to be their captain - which is true for your team as well, Rose is terrifying - and there are a couple girls milling around in jackets and over-shirts. One in particular catches your notice; as you look, you realize it’s because Jungkook has the same jacket. Black, with a big-ass Old-English-styled L on the back of it, and some kind of writing you can’t see on the front and can’t remember from Jungkook’s, small and in the corner where logos usually go. 

You make a note to ask which anime that’s from, just to know in the future, and return to your warmups. 

The game itself is...well, it’s challenging. The other teams is as well-practiced as yours, they’re balanced against you pretty well, and all of you are enjoying the competition almost as much as you’re frustrated that you aren’t getting anywhere. Their captain - a shorter girl with pretty eyes and dimples - is an absolute beast and Rose looks simultaneously enraged and turned on, and Weeb Girl has been blocking you at every turn. She volleys every serve you give, manages to block every spike without fail, and you can respect that she’s good at this, but you’re also really fucking frustrated. 

It’s the end of the second set and both teams are ready for the ten minute break. You’re in the process of trying to drown yourself in your Gatorade bottle and really considering using the stuff to summon some kind of demon just so you can win the game, go home, stuff yourself with cheap burgers, and then fuck your boyfriend because you could tell from his face at one point that he was getting worked up watching you play, but before you can you catch sight of your friends whispering quietly to themselves. 

It screams ‘hey we’re doing something really shady and don’t want you to know, maybe you should immediately storm over and find out what’s going on’ so you do exactly that. 

“What the fuck do you mean ‘should we tell her?’“ You demand, keeping your voice as hushed as theirs. Nayun looks repentant and sorry, Jisoo actually literally makes the emoji face with the teeth, and Rose just purses her lips and gestures over her shoulder. 

You really don’t know what you expect to see, but Jungkook hanging over the side of the bleachers to talk to Weeb Girl isn’t it. His eyes are crinkled at the corners like they do when he’s excited, his glasses are half-down his nose and in danger of falling off because you aren’t there to push them back up like he enjoys, and he’s gesturing happily to Weeb Girl. And she....she looks just as excited, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers and batting her lashes up at him as she says something else that makes him laugh. You can’t realistically hear it, it’s too crowded and noisy, but you feel it when he laughs, every time. 

“We should call the police, she’s gonna kill her,” Jisoo says morbidly from behind you. 

“No,” You respond, scoffing. Your eyes don’t draw away from where your boyfriend is talking to Weeb Girl. “No, I’m not. She can flirt all she wants, it’s fine. Yeah, she’s blocked me at every turn this game, yeah she’s kinda really pretty, and she definitely has the ass for those shorts, and she’s wearing weeb stuff that she’s probably interested in and can talk to him about, but it’s fine. I know Jungkook, he’s not gonna do anything. He’s a good guy.” And you mean it when you say it. If there’s one thing that you’re sure of in your relationship that isn’t Jungkook knowing random weeb stats, it’s that he’s loyal. You know it, deep in your bones. 

You watch as Weeb Girl steps forward, cutting off whatever Jungkook’s saying to push his glasses up his nose, giggling as she does. Your fingers twitch because yes, that is your job, not hers, but it’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. Until her captain calls her back and she giggles again and waves, and Jungkook turns to sit and you see it. He’s got that pretty blush on his face, the one that tints his cheeks and makes him duck his head, the one you love so much but especially when you’re riding him and can get him to break out of the dominant persona he loves and turn pink with your words. 

And you know that your boyfriend is loyal and sweet and wonderful, can tell by the way he searches for you and melts into a smile like the ice cream you’re pretty sure you forgot to put back in your freezer before you had to rush out to get to this game. But pushing his glasses up is your job and that is your blush and you aren’t about to let some weeb queen take it from you. 

Rose looks pleased as you all take the court again. Jisoo looks convinced you’re gonna kill Weeb Girl, and you won’t lie; you’re definitely trying to see if you can will someone to set fire with only the power of your brain as you stare her down across the net. She looks entirely too pleased with herself and even dares to send a quick glance and a shy smile off at where you know Jungkook sits behind you, and you wish - not for the first time in your life - that you had Harry Potter powers and could just Crucio this fucker right now. 

Alas, you’re gonna have to settle for slamming a volleyball into her face. 

Nayun looks horrified at the sight, but you can tell Rose is holding back a smile even as the ref gives you a penalty that you willingly take. Weeb Girl looks pissed and also a little confused. Logically it’s not her fault that she chose to flirt with your weeb; and you can’t even fault her for it, because he’s gorgeous and sweet and perfect, but god damn what a day to do it. 

Throughout the rest of the third set, you’re basically unstoppable. You score three times on her, and you take a sick pleasure in the bruise that’s already forming under her eye. Her entire team looks confused, and you are too, because none of you are sure of where this sudden burst of skill and fury is coming from, but you’re determined to ride it out for as long as it lasts. 

When the game’s over, your entire team crowds you to celebrate. You’re a good player, you don’t have any allusions to that, but you’re also pretty much just reliably good. You’ve never played like that, not in your entire life, and you’re thriving with the knowledge that you even can. 

When they finally back up, you bolt before they can throw Gatorade on you, already climbing the stands. Jimin laughs as you shove him to the side, and you decide to feel guilty about the way he almost falls later, because right now you’re on a mission. You straddle the stand and fist one hand in Jungkook’s shirt, pulling him into a heated kiss that he doesn’t hesitate to return. In seconds you’re almost on his lap, one of his hands gripping your jaw so he lick into your mouth the way he likes while your free hand tangles in his hair. When you eventually pull back, he settles soft kisses along your jaw and you take great pride in looking straight at Weeb Girl. She doesn’t look mad, exactly; more resigned and slightly impressed, and you send her a wink that makes her roll her eyes. 

“Hey,” You whisper to Jungkook. He detaches himself from the mark he was determined to make behind your ear, and you revel in the blush on his face. It spreads across his face and along to the tips of his ears, and you want nothing more to than to make is spread further. “You wanna go put on some Haikyuu and break in your new mattress?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever left a game that fast in your life. 

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The Rogues Gallery of the Powerpuff Girls

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

There are few rogues galleries I hold in higher esteem than that of the Powerpuff Girls. Aside from Spider-Man, Batman, and Danny Phantom, there are few heroes who can claim to have a more colorful and creative set of foes than the crimefighting superheroines of the city of Townsville. Previously I’ve talked about their archenemy, the wonderfully devilish Mojo Jojo, but they have a lot of other great villains worth talking about… so, why not just talk about all of them at once?

This one’s gonna be a little different, and will be divided into two sections: MAJOR ANTAGONISTS and MINOR ANTAGONISTS. Major antagonists will be villains that the girls fought most frequently, while minor antagonists will be notable one shot villains and lesser foes.

MAJOR ANTAGONISTS

These are the foes that the girls face most frequently in the series, and the ones that will likely come to mind when you think of the show’s rogues gallery. Aside from Mojo Jojo, and according to TVTropes, the major antagonists from the series are Him, Fuzzy Lumpkins, the Gangreen Gang, Princess Morbucks, the Amoeba Boys, Sedusa, and the Rowdyruff Boys.

Motivation/Goals: The major antagonists all tend to vary in what exactly they want to do, but they all have one thing in common: their motivations are broad enough that they can fit into a wide variety of plots. Him is the best example, because his goal tends to be a vague mix of “take over the city/world” and “be an absolute dick,” which leads to all sorts of battles such as the bad future where he rules the Earth or the episode where he sends the girls out on a series of ridiculous riddles as part of a bet with Professor Utonium to see if he has to pay his full tab at Him’s pancake restaurant. Considering Him is supposed to be a stand in for Satan himself and is the ultimate evil of the show (even if his power level doesn’t always reflect that), it makes sense he’d constantly be doing crazy, tricky schemes like this.

Of course, not all of these villains are massive threats like Him; others are simply nuisances, like the Gangreen Gang, who just love going out and committing crimes for the fun of it in between their leader Ace moonlighting as a member of the Gorillaz. While they are still dangerous, they tend to be motivated to do things just because they find it amusing, like when they snuck into the mayor’s office and crank called the girls into repeatedly harassing the other villains. Then there’s Princess, who is basically just a snotty superpowered bully who decided to turn to a life of crime because the girls wouldn’t let her become a Powerpuff Girl. She’s motivated entirely out of jealousy and spite, but she never really rises to the level of a truly world-threatening threat, though she did almost screw up Christmas one time to the point Santa decided to slap her on the permanent Naughty List. The final major antagonist who falls into this category is Sedusa, who true to her name, seduces men. That’s… about it. She also has prehensile hair.

The Rowdyruff Boys are kind of a mix of being super serious dangers and just being jerks, as they were created by Mojo to be the opposite of the girls and so have all of their powers but none of their good qualities aside from maybe their love for each other (which they rarely show, but it’s there). They’re mostly just jerks and love to cause chaos, but sicne they have all the same sort of abilities as Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, they’re a lot more dangerous than the typical foe would be, and that’s not even counting the fact that their two “dads” are Him and Mojo, which means they have the cream of the crop when it comes to bad role models.

The last type of major villain is perhaps the funniest, because these are the villains who are just so bad at being evil that it’s comical. Fuzzy is a lighter example, as he’s not exactly bad at being evil; he’s just more not evil to begin with unless provoked or manipulated by other villains. He’s entirely content to just sit about at his shack, strumming his banjo, but if you piss him off he’s gonna grab his gun or a big old rock and cause some mayhem. The crown emperors of being failure villains, however, are the Amoeba Boys. These guys are the most utterly inept dumbasses you will ever see, a group so utterly bad at being bad that no one in the show is able to take them seriously. Since they are amoebas, albeit rather large ones, they don’t have the mental capacity to do much more than the most petty of crimes such as – GASP! - standing on grass when there’s a sign that says not to! Or even… LITTERING! Those fiends!

Performance: Tom Kane portrays Him, and alternately is able to make him hilarious and terrifying. It’s pretty amusing to think that the guy who played Professor Utonium and Mr. Herriman is capable of playing such a messed-up villain (ok, maybe not so much for the latter, Mr. Herriman was wack).

Fuzzy is portrayed by everyone’s favorite Trump supporting Pooh bear, Jim Cummings, and that good ol’ ragin’ Cajun accent he’d use in The Princess and the Frog and Zombie Island fits this southern hick quite well.

Ace, Big Billy, and Grubber of the Gangreen Gang are voiced by series MVP Jeff Bennet, who manages to make all three characters very distinct and unqiue in their voices, capturing the lovable oafishness of Billy and the smug leadership of Ace very well, and obviously whatever it is Grubber is doing. Lil’ Arturo and Snake are Tom Kenny, though the former was in his first appearance voiced by Carlos Alazraqui, which means twice now Tom Kenny has usurped Alazraqui in a voice role (the other time being the title character of the Spyro the Dragon franchise). Tom Kenny, being Tom Kenny, does a great job.

Princess and Sedusa are both voiced by Jennifer Hale, but I’m gonna be honest, neither of them are my favorite roles. Princess just has a really shrill and unpleasant voice - which is the point, mind you, I just don’t love it. Meanwhile, Sedusa is just forgettable.

The Amoeba Boys are Chuck McCann, and he gives all of them the exact sort of goofy, cartoonish Chicago gangster accent you could hope for, though each boy has a distinct voice. The other boy group, the Rowdyruffs, are voiced by Rob Paulsen for Brick and Boomer (the man behind the legend that is Carl Wheezer) and Butch is Roger L. Jackson (Mojo Jojo himself). As can be expected, the RRBs have very distinct voices, though I can’t say they’re quite as memorable as the characters they’re directly copying. 

Best Episode: So yeah, this time instead of individuals scenes, I’m highlighting the very best episodes of the various foes of the Girls. First, let’s get the obvious one out of the way: if we’re talking altogether for Him, Fuzzy, and Princess, their appearance alongside Mojo in “Meet the Beat Alls” is just utterly hilarious, ESPECIALLY Fuzzy’s rock, their breakup bickering, and just how they decide to come together and cause chaos. As far as villain teamups go, you can’t get better than one that is nothing but a constant string of Beatles references (though they lose some points for not drawing attention to the fact that Him is based on the Blue Meanie from Yellow Submarine).

Individually, for Him, it really depends on what you’re looking for, since he’s a very versatile villain. If you want him at his best and most serious, “Speed Demon” is the way to go, as it shows a bad future where he has completely won, which goes a long way towards establishing him as the single most dangerous enemy of the girls. But if you want funny Him, well, “Him Diddle Riddle” is an absolute riot which leads to one of the most shockingly ridiculous punchlines in the show. It’s a real treat.

For Fuzzy, I’d say his main series debut “Fuzzy Logic” is a great solo showing, firmly establishing the character and how he has changed from the initial pilot. Fuzzy is an amusing character to be sure, but I feel his best showings are in ensemble pieces, which is why I say his debut is his best work.

For the Gangreen Gang, the obvious answer is, of course, “Telephonies,” because this is them at their most hilariously petty. They just sneak into the mayor’s office and crank call the other villains, and in the end, the day is saved! ...By Mojo, Fuzzy, and Him. Even the narrator is baffled at this one, but you’ll probably be laughing too hard to care about that.

Princess gets one of the best Christmas specials ever with “’Twas the Fight Before Christmas,” where she scams Santa into giving her superpowers while every other kid in the world gets coal. Of course, the Girls don’t take this lying down, and Princess gets the most awesome comeuppance ever, courtesy of Santa: she gets her name carved into the Permanent Naughty Plaque which has such notable figures as Adolph Shicklgruber, who you may know better as fucking Hitler. That’s right, Santa came right out and said Princess Morbucks is as naughty as Hitler is.

The Amoeba Boys have their main series debut, “Geshundfight,” which does a firm job of establishing these guys as such utterly incompetent morons that you can’t help but love them. It also establishes that these guys could only ever be a threat by complete accident. It’s good to see the boys got better after the girls threw them into the sun in the “Whoopass Stew” pilot!

Sedusa has “Something’s a Ms.” While Sedusa herself tends to be a rather dull antagonist, this episode rules and is her best appearance for one reason and one reason alone: we get to see Ms. Bellum kick ass. Hell yeah!

“Custody Battle” is the best appearance of the Boys because, let’s face it, having Mojo and Him argue over who has the right to be called their dad (Mojo Created them, Him resurrected them) is absolutely hilarious, and a great use of the characters.

Final Thoughts & Score: Alright, let’s go one by one here:

Him

Him is easily the best of the bunch and, aside from Mojo, is the definitive Powerpuff villain. I think part of it is, much like Mojo, Him is capable of being a hilarious jerk or a genuinely intimidating threat in equal measure. You get showings where all he does is try and make the Professor pay a full tab on his breakfast or give everyone tooth decay or even just hang out in his house and do some aerobics, and then you have episodes where he decimates the earth in the future or torments the girls in their dreams. He kind of really fits a lot of the old folkloric tales of the devil, where he could be anything from a prankster to outright malicious, for all it’s worth, and being based on the Blue Meanie certainly doesn’t hurt either. He’s just a very fun character who fits into so many different situations, and so he easily gets a 10/10.

Fuzzy Lumpkins

Fuzzy is an odd one, because as I mentioned earlier, he’s not really a true villain in the sense that he goes out and commits crimes for the sake of it like the others. He’s more of a chaotic neutral force than anything, who goes on angry rampages or gets swayed over to the dark side whenever the mood suits him. It’s kind of interesting how he was a smarter and calmer character in the pilot, where he invented a gun that could turn things into meat… but in the show proper, he’s just a dumb, irritable hick. While he’s certainly not the best member of the rogues gallery, there’s something charming about Fuzzy, and I definitely love his design and voice; I think he gets a 7/10.

The Gangreen Gang

These guys are some of the more enjoyable antagonists in the rogues gallery despite typically not being a huge threat. I think, really, that’s what makes them so fun; they’re a lot more low-key and just in general more prone to just being dicks than doing anything on the level of Him or Mojo. They’re the fun kind of villains where you don’t ever really need to take them seriously, to the point you can fully accept their leader Ace joining the Gorillaz, which is a thing that actually happened in real life and it’s amazing. I think that alone is enough to edge these guys into a 9/10.

Princess Morbucks

So out of all the major antagonists, I think Princess is probably my least favorite, mostly because she’s just a snotty, entitled, rich little brat. That being said, I’m not overly opposed to her, nor do I hate her; I really can’t hate a character that Santa Claus deemed is the moral equivalent of Hitler. I can’t stress enough how much I love Santa came right out and said “Rich lives don’t matter” and just slapped this little girl with the most grievous punishment you could give. Overall, Princess functions as a casual reminder rich people suck, and I’m okay with that, even if she’s not particularly high on my favorites. 7/10 is a solid score for her, I feel.

The Amoeba Boys

Idiot villains wish they could be these guys. Literally, as far as idiotic harmless villains go, these lads are the absolute cream of the crop. The fact these are giant amoebas wearing fedoras and talking like stereotypical gangsters and yet are so incompetent they don’t even know how voodoo dolls work and think that littering and standing on grass is the greatest crime of all is just… amazing. These guys are perfect. And yet they are so incompetent and harmless that it’s almost unfair to call them villains, despite how desperately they want to be villains. The fact everyone in the show treats them as a mild annoyance at best really goes a long way to making these guys endearing. They’re certainly not the best foes in the rogues gallery, but I think an 8/10 is a good score for these single-celled suckers.

Sedusa

I’m frankly not sure why she’s considered a “main antagonist” on TVTropes; when I think of PPG villains, she really doesn’t come to mind. Frankly, if she is a “main” antagonist, she’s one of the most boring and forgettable ones there is. Sure, she has a couple of decent episodes, and of course the one where Ms. Bellum gets her time to shine is a classic, but overall Sedusa is just a mediocre villain who doesn’t do enough to stand out among the crowd. I’d say she’s a 4/10. I think if they had gone with the concept from her third appearance where she had all those cool Egyptian powers from the start she would have been a far more engaging and fun antagonist. But hey, she gave Ms. Bellum her time to shine, so I can’t really say she’s all too abysmal.

The Rowdyruff Boys

So… these guys. I’m not particularly sure what to really say about these guys. They’re some of the most popular antagonists the PPG have, and they have great interactions with Him and Mojo. But they’ve never quite struck me as being as amazing as others have hyped them up to be. Maybe I just don’t quite vibe with their concept. All that being said, though, they’re not bad antagonists in the slightest, I just kind of find them uninspired as a concept. It won’t keep me from giving them an 8/10, so don’t worry about that, I just don’t find the idea of evil versions of the PPG to be particularly interesting.

And now we go on to the lesser rogues, the one-shot or minor antagonists! They don’t have the major presence the villains above do, but remember, you don’t have to be a major reoccurring villain just to make an impact; sometimes you just gotta be good at what you do.

Also, this is by no means an exhaustive list; I’ve left off some minor antagonists and probably forgot some, and then there’s some that just don’t have enough info to talk about. Like, I would love to tell you all the wonders of Salami Swami, but there’s just not enough… oh well… let’s talk about these guys. And they aren’t going to have a best episode listed, because… well, they’re minor one-shot characters. By default their best appearance is their only appearance.

Motivation/Goals: Unlike with the major villains, there’s a lot more variety in the one-shot characters, with their goals ranging from simple robbery to revenge to chaos for the sake of it. And yes, sure, their major villains do that stuff too, but they tend to have a solid theme, whereas these folk tend to have one gimmick that they run with for a whole episode before vanishing, never to be seen again. For instance, Femme Fatale is a raging radical feminist; Abracadaver is a lich who seeks revenge for his violent, untimely death; the Gnome is a cult leader who commits mass genocide of other villains so that he can create a utopian society; and Mr. Mime is a mime.

What I think separates them from the major foes is that they have a singular gimmick and they need to really excel at it, because if they screw it up, they’re gonna go down in infamy. Femme Fatale is not a villain who is recalled fondly, for instance, because her gimmick was horribly botched. Meanwhile, characters like the Boogie Man or the Gnome are looked at more fondly because of their silly and cool gimmicks that make them stand out (being a disco-themed monster under the bed and being a gnome with a beautiful singing voice that sounds like a certain lead singer of Tenacious D, respectively).

Performance: Let’s go one by one on these:

The Gnome is voiced by none other than Jess Harnell, who you may know as Wakko Warner or the current (as of 2020) voice of numerous Crash Bandicoot characters, including everyone’s favorite Wumpa-loving title character. They couldn’t afford the real Jack Black, but I think that Harnell does a very impressive vocal imitation of JB, to the point where you’d be forgiven for assuming that it was JB in the first place. The fantastic singing voice is no shock if you’ve ever watched Animaniacs, but boy is it good to hear.

Jeff Bennet may be the MVP of the lesser rogues, as he voices Major Man, Dick Hardly, and Harold Smith. This is quite a variety of characters each with different personalities and goals, so it’s pretty great he was able to give them all the exact sort of vocal characterization they needed to be distinct. On the subject of the Smiths, though,

Femme Fatale is Grey DeLisle doing a very generic voice. Like, it sounds like a less cheerful Daphne or a less evil Azula. I think she may have just been talking in her normal voice for this one? It just doesn’t really have anything to it to make it stand out among her more notable roles.

Boogie Man is voice acting god Kevin Michael Richardson, who has voiced numerous characters I really should do a Psycho Analysis on such as Chairman Drek and Gantu. There’s really nothing else to say here, really; Richardson gives exactly the sort of glorious performance you’d expect for a funky blaxploitation pastiche boogeyman. Talk about black excellence!

Lenny is Tom Kenny. Tom Kenny really does a good job with weird geeks like this, and so what else can I say but he did a good job with this creepy neckbeard. Abracadaver is played by legendary voice actor Frank Welker, who is in literally everything, but who you mostly know as Fred from Scooby-Doo. Much like with Kenny, he kills it in the role.

Finally, our last speaking villain is Roach Coach, and he’s most notable because he is voiced by Roger L. Jackson, who would graduate from this starter one-shot to become none other than Mojo Jojo. I don’t find Roach Coach quite as memorable a performance, but Jackson certainly doesn’t half-ass it.

Final Thoughts & Score:

The Gnome

I think the Gnome is one of the single most fascinating one-shot villains in the series, and not just because “See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey” is a gloriously cheesy rock opera where he gets to be the villain. His philosophies are incredibly intriguing and are sort of the focus of the episode, and his effectiveness is frankly unmatched as a villain; he succeeds in killing every villain in the series for a time. And while he is a bit hypocritical in that he too wanted to rule over Townsville and transforms it into a cult, he does ultimately realize that he was in the wrong and not only graciously accepts his defeat, but allows himself to die to return the world to its natural order, stating:

“"As I descend to the earth and I view the universe above me, I realize that life evolves, revolves, and dissolves completely around the opposites. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot exist in my...utopian...mind."

That’s a low 9/10 if I ever saw one. They didn’t need to go and make this Jack Black gnome in a rock opera such a fascinating character, but there we have it.

Dick Hardly

Dick Hardly is one of the most “love to hate” characters in the show’s entire run, and it’s not hard to see why; he is the lowest of the low, the scummiest scum there ever was. Look at this excerpt from the PPG Wiki, which was a godsend when writing all this up:

“Despite appearing only once in the 1998 series and never in the various spin-offs or the 2016 series, Dick Hardly is among the franchise's most memorable villans [sic]. This is because he's the only member of the PPG Rogues Gallery who has absolutely no redeeming or comedic qualities. Most villains have lines they will never cross. However, Dick is ruthless enough to kill anyone in order to achieve his goals, even his own ex-friends. In fact, he actually manages to make HIM (who is nastier than Mojo Jojo) look like a saint in comparison.”

He’s a slimy, ruthless, unrepentant bastard, and the fact he’s one of the few villains to bite the big one just helps him stand out even more. Throw in his incredibly cool monstrous transformation, and despite his single episode it’s not hard to give this Dick a 9/10.

Femme Fatale

So not to be lazy, but I did kind of do a Psycho Analysis on Femme Fatale back when I did an Episodyssey on her sole appearance. And yeah, I stand by what I gave her there; she’s a 2/10. She’s just a really preachy, obnoxious, and poorly executed moralizing villain. I’m also gonna go out on a limb here and say that she probably hates trans people. I suppose that’s just a headcanon but… come on. Look at her. If this show was TV-14 and came out today, she’d be even less subtle in her contempt for trans people than every episode of South Park that featured Mrs. Garrison. Enough headcanons though; she doesn’t get the lowest marks possible because, quite simply, she has a pretty nice design and her voice acting is good enough since it is Jennifer Hale.

Mr. Mime

Oops, wrong picture.

There we go! Anyway, Mr. Mime is a really cool character with a frustrating resolution. Through no fault of his own, Rainbow the clown accidentally gets hit by a bleach truck and loses his color, becoming the evil Mr. Mime, gaining the ability to sap the color and sound from the world with a touch. He’s actually a seriously awesome concept, and the episode itself is good… and then comes the ending where, despite turning back to normal, Rainbow gets the crap kicked out of him and sent to jail, which is strangely cruel for the Girls to do. Apparently they later made amends, because Rainbow shows up at their birthday, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. A 7/10 is a good score for this guy.

Boogie Man

The Boogie Man is arguably the greatest villain in anything ever. He is entirely built around one of the most groan-worthy puns imaginable and plays that pun up for all its worth, being a monster under the bed who utilizes a disco theme to the point he blocks out the sun with a gigantic disco ball. The dude has funky style and if that’s not enough, he’s voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson, who gives him the exact sort of voice he needs. The dude is just like something out of the craziest blaxploitation film ever, and he certainly brings the funk to the point where even though he only got one appearance in the series, I wouldn’t hate to bump this guy to an 8/10. What else is there to say but “Blame it on the boogie!”

The Smiths

These guys are just a very funny concept. I kind of like villains who do stuff for the pettiest, mundane reasons, and these guys take it all to the logical extreme. The patriarch of the family decides to dress up in a tacky supervillain outfit to get “revenge” on Professor Utonium because… he envies his perfect life. The rest of his family turn to villainy to avenge him, and are just as pathetic and ineffectual as he is. It’s so funny in a sad kind of way. I think a 6/10 is what they deserve, because while they aren’t particularly effective or groundbreaking, they’re at least good for a chuckle or two. Ultimately though they are a less impressive version of the Nelsons from Minions.

Major Man

Major Man is very interesting because he is very clearly an homage to Johnny Bravo; they’ve got the same hair, the same muscular body type (though Major Man is certainly beefier), the same voice actor! And yet, they couldn’t be any more different. Johnny, as much of a dense womanizer as he is, does have a hidden heart of gold beneath it all and usually means well; meanwhile, Major Man is a self-serving jerk who wants to play superhero. You know, he kind of reminds me of Homelander from The Boys in some ways. Anyway, I think a 6/10 is fair enough for him; he’d get higher if he wasn’t such an interesting concept for a major villain relegated only to a one-shot appearance. He’d have been a better entry in the rogues gallery than freaking Sedusa, for instance.

Abracadaver

So I wanna know how exactly this one got by the censors. This guy is unrelentingly dark, from his origin (he died onstage in front of a crowd which included children) to his absolutely ghastly appearance in which it is very much clear he is decaying and rotten. I honestly kind of love him, despite the fact he only ever appeared once, mostly because I can totally understand why they never used him again. This dude might actually be too scary. I’m giving him a solid 8/10, because I just love how unrelentingly dark he is. It’s definitely a low 8 since he never appeared after his initial appearance (for good reason!), but damn if he isn’t effective and memorable.

Lenny Baxter

Lenny is actually kind of impressive. On the surface, he’s just a gross, exaggerated take on Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons and loony dudebro manchild fans, which is all well and good, he’s pretty effective at being a “take that” and has stood the test of time pretty well/. But, I think what truly makes him memorable is the fact that he actually did manage to capture the Girls and would have won if not for the meddling townsfolk. Then of course there’s the Professor’s wonderfully tranquil takedown of Lenny’s ideology:

"Let me tell you something, Lenny. You may have all of the toys, all of the merchandise, all of the so-called “collector’s value.” But one thing you don’t have, Lenny, is true fandom. For a true fan wouldn't want to selfishly keep the girls to himself. A true fan would want them to be free."

I think that for a disposable one-shot villain, Lenny is surprisingly relevant even today. I think he deserves a 7/10, though obviously he’s not a very high one because ultimately he is just still a normal (albeit very greasy) guy.

Roach Coach

Look, not all villains are created equal. This guy? He’s not too impressive. Sure, he predicted the ending to Team America, and sure, he made a Papa Roach reference, but frankly I don’t think that’s enough to really elevate him into being an impressive one-shot villain. I’d say he’s a 4/10. He’s not lower because he is the starter villain, and his voice actor would go on to bring us the much better and more memorable Mojo Jojo. We all have to start somewhere, right?

The Robbing Leech

This guy is probably one of the freakiest one-shot villains in the series. Unlike Abracadaver, there’s literally nothing explained about this guy. There’s no origin, no explanation, he doesn’t even talk, and hell, the guy might not even be human at all! We the audience are never clued in, and the guy is never seen again, so we’re only left to ponder what exactly this guy is up to. I don’t think he’s quite as disturbing as Abracadaver, but he’s certainly got something going for him in terms of mystery; a 5/10 is fair enough. It would have been neat if they explained something, but I guess he’ll just have to be one of those riddles for the ages. We will never truly know how and why this man was capable of giving people the succ.

And just when you thought it would end...

Salami Swami

Ok, did you honestly think I was going to miss the opportunity to talk about this guy? His name is SALAMI SWAMI. And look at him! He controls MEAT! He only ever appeared once in the episode “Slave the Day,” where his mighty meat powers are no match for the appetites of the reformed Big Billy (formerly of the Gangreen Gang). But like… LOOK AT HIM. The idea and concept and literally everything about him is just so patently absurd and creative that I’m legitimately angry I didn’t come up with it first. He never spoke a single word, but he still managed to find a way into my heart and mind. Can I legitimately rate this guy who had a single joke appearance in the show? Damn right I can! 6/10, baby! If he appeared more or defined his personality a bit better I’d rank him higher but, come on. SALAMI SWAMI. Sometimes all you need to be great is a really incredible, stupid gimmick. And Salami Swami has that in droves; hopefully we can meat him again someday, and he can reignite his beef with the girls while remaining inextricably linked with sausage. 

Ok, I’m done. Goodnight everybody!

[makeste]

why Kaminari Denki is not the U.A. traitor (and why the traitor is actually Hagakure)

thank you, anon! okay first off, my opinion of the Kaminari Traitor Theory is: nah, he ain’t. but as requested, I will break this down and refute the various arguments point by point.

this is a big compilation of various “Kaminari is the traitor” posts from 4chan (general warning btw for 4chan being 4chan), which I got from this reddit thread. some of these are clearly shitposts, but on the whole it seems fairly comprehensive, so I’m gonna use this as my primary source for theory arguments. if there are any major arguments for this theory that I missed please let me know.

also! a huge part of the reason why I don’t subscribe to this theory is that I am 1000% sure that Hagakure is the actual traitor. so the second half of this post will consist of a detailed explanation as to why I’m all-in on that theory to the point of dismissing any and all other theories. I feel like that’s worth clarifying a bit more.

so! here goes.

“his proto design is that of a villain”

lol I’m trying to think of how to put this diplomatically. this is something I see a lot, people using Horikoshi’s prototype sketches and notes as evidence for various theories. the thing is, this is shaky ground at best. there’s a reason why these are proto designs and not the final product. Deku’s proto design had emo kid hair, and proto!Katsuki was an obnoxious prep school kid lol. plans change, and thank fucking god for that tbh.

but that aside, “he looks like a villain” is not in any way a solid argument to begin with. Horikoshi has made a point in the actual story of showing that people’s preconceived notions of what heroes and villains “should” look and behave like doesn’t always line up with reality. and in this case we’re not even basing it on behavior, but solely on how he looks, which is really kind of discriminatory. by that logic, one could look at, say, Shouji, and be all, “well he’s clearly the traitor.” just because someone looks scary at first glance doesn’t mean they actually are. all in all, I don’t buy it.

“Kaminari is the only one who could have told the villains where the camping trip was being held since he’s pretty much a walking GPS”

I present to you a panel from chapter 83:

literally any one of the students could have used their phone’s GPS to pinpoint their location and send it to the villains. they weren’t on any kind of communications lockdown, and even if they were, there was no practical way to enforce it. so this argument doesn’t really hold water for me. even if Kami’s quirk did work that way, which we don’t really have evidence of aside from one weird line in the USJ arc that has never since been expanded on, that doesn’t really work as evidence of him being the traitor when there are 39 other kids who could have done the exact same thing without a quirk.

“his dumbness is fake”

this is honestly the one aspect of this theory that I least understand. the thing is, this isn’t a theory. this is a what-if. it’s as if it occurred to someone one day, “lol what if he was just faking” and then this entire elaborate conspiracy headcanon was built up around that and eventually evolved into what we have today. this just doesn’t make sense to me at all. is there any evidence of him actually faking it? I feel like people just went “omg that would be such a cool twist” and then started arguing why it could be canon.

anyways I personally think Kaminari is 100% certified organic dumbass, and frankly I love him for that. where is the respect for the dumbasses of the world. Kaminari is still a great character even if he’s not secretly a JUST AS PLANNED double agent. you don’t need to make him evil for him to be interesting.

“look at his sneering face here, though”

okay yeah but hear me out: he’s a little shithead, lol. I mean, do you also think Bakugou is the traitor or.

“I edited this picture to make him look more evil, look”

okay??? lol, what. I think we can just move right along from this one.

“he didn’t bother with a costume, this must mean he doesn’t need help controlling his ability”

this I don’t get at all. a lot of the kids went into hero school not having a clear idea of what kind of costume features would best suit their quirks. that’s only natural; they’re still inexperienced. it is in no way any kind of indicator of any deception on their part. Kaminari is extremely powerful, but until recently he hasn’t had the guidance he needed to help him figure out how to harness that power better. and seeing as he has now made several modifications to his costume since starting at U.A., this argument is out of date.

“it’s scary how much traitor kaminari would make sense”

a lot of these really are just shitposts, huh? maybe I should have picked a better source. but just, like. what even is the logic here? “if he’s actually not stupid THEN HE MUST BE EVIL”? I really am trying to give this theory a fair shake you guys, even though it probably doesn’t seem that way. but this is just leap after leap. I keep thinking that I must have missed something crucial but as far as I can tell this is it.

“Monoma’s gonna copy his quirk and figure it out”

I do want to see Monoma copy his quirk, but only because seeing him go all “wheeeey” would be absolutely amazing tbh.

“reminder that kaminari thought stain was cool”

this one is actually a reasonable point. but listen, you have to keep in mind that Kaminari is a sixteen-year-old boy who gets easily swept up in the latest crazes and memes and fads. he’s naturally curious, and very open-minded and accepting, even when he perhaps shouldn’t be. but it’s as much a strength as it is a weakness, if not more so. those same traits make him the friendliest member of class 1-A (with the possible exception of Kirishima), allowing him to get along well even with a sentient cactus like Bakugou, and to stubbornly befriend Shinsou all of fifteen minutes after Shinsou announced that he wasn’t there to make friends lmao. he’s very unprejudiced, and when you put that together with how excitable he is, you can see how that might make him a bit more susceptible to getting caught up in stuff like the Stain hype train. it doesn’t make him evil. hell, even Deku had a kind of begrudging respect for Stain. I personally can’t stand Stain at all so I don’t get it myself lol, but it seems to be canon that he had a real charisma which many people were swayed by even if they didn’t agree with his ideals.

“>hanging wrist watches on the wall  - Who the hell does this”

you know what that’s a fair point too.

“his room is tacky and shows no personality”

okay in seriousness this is barely worth addressing because it’s so far of a reach, but fine. the thing is, Kaminari’s core personality is that of a typical teenage boy. that’s his role in the class. he’s just a normal guy, because you need to have some normal people around to balance out this cast of extravagant weirdos. and anyways, if we’re accusing people of being evil simply because their rooms lack personality, Ojiro and Shouji’s rooms are right. there. I’m just saying.

“he was in remedial too [on the school trip]. avoiding combat”

so were Sero, Kirishima, Mina, Satou, and Monoma. what’s more, they didn’t know that the remedial kids were going to be barred from participating in the test of courage. most of them were devastated to realize that lol. anyways so yeah this isn’t really proof of anything.

“[the night] before the attack Kaminari is clearly missing”

this is referring to this panel from chapter 75:

however, there’s actually a whole chapter in the second light novel about Iida going around in the middle of the night checking on his sleeping classmates (which is actually very sweet) while also trying to find his glasses, and said chapter establishes that Iida is in fact the one missing in this scene. because he’s wandering around tucking people in and shit. Kaminari is actually the one under the pile of pillows.

anyways, this is getting long and I haven’t even gotten into the real meat of this post yet, so I’ll just address a couple of the remaining arguments real quick.

but if he’s really that stupid how did he get into U.A.” - he studied!!! also he’s not really that stupid! he can be very bright, he’s just easily distracted.

L pose – as others have pointed out, this...

...is very likely just a variation of his finger gun pose, as seen here:

but even if it’s not, my rebuttal for the Stain argument applies here as well. my boy loves his memes. this would have been right in the midst of all the Deika City coverage, and the PLF probably took the opportunity to throw a few poses in there. it’s probably the trendy thing on Instagram right now. in any case, what it is not is proof that Kaminari is the person who broke into the U.A. offices and stole the staff schedule in order to facilitate the League’s planned invasion of USJ. nor is it proof of Kaminari being the one who gave away the training camp’s location. 

and segueing into the second part of this post now, this, IMO, is what so many of these traitor theories are missing. if you’re trying to identify who the U.A. traitor is, these are the two incidents you need to look at. I feel like a lot of people get swept up in what-if speculation, and forget what sparked this whole notion of there being a mole at U.A. in the first place. it’s specifically because of these two attacks, which could not have been planned without the assistance of an inside person providing information to the League from within UA. therefore, if we’re trying to identify who the traitor is, these are the only two questions we actually have to answer:

who, if anyone, had the opportunity to steal the staff schedule during Shigaraki’s break-in in chapter 12, and

who was it that gave away the training camp’s location and allowed Dabi and co. to invade and kidnap Bakugou?

that’s it. this, IMO, is what the focus should be on. and here’s the thing: while we still don’t have a definitive answer for the second question, we do have an answer for the first, and Horikoshi gave it to us all the way back in that same chapter.

but before I get to that, let’s back up and revisit that memorable incident. recall, if you will, the events that took place on the day of the break-in. class 1-A voted on a class president, and afterwards, during their lunch period, the security alarm went off as a result of Tomura doing this to the door and allowing the press to swarm the school:

initially, Rat Principal speculates as to whether a villain might have taken the opportunity to sneak in. but given the later incident at the training camp, as Present Mic rightly points out, it’s far more likely that there is a traitor in their midst instead. someone who had both the means and opportunity to take advantage of the chaos caused by the press, and somehow steal a copy of the staff schedule from right under U.A.’s nose.

given that this same person is almost certainly the one who later on gave the training camp info to the villains as well, this narrows down the field of potential suspects to either one of the teachers, or a student from class 1-A or 1-B. obviously if it’s a teacher then it could be any one of them, so there’s really no point in trying to narrow it down. the same goes for 1-B since we’re not even introduced to them until the following arc and we have no idea what they were doing during this incident. so for now, the question becomes: which, if any of the class 1-A kids had the opportunity to steal the schedule during chapter 12?

and for the answer, we need only revisit the class president voting records:

incidentally, this is something I can’t take credit for, because it was Viz’s translator Caleb Cook who originally pointed it out on his Twitter. but anyways. just in case this isn’t clear, the results are as following: 

3 votes - Deku (himself, Ochako, and Iida)

2 votes - Yaomomo (herself, and Shouto)

1 vote - Jirou, Tsuyu, Ojiro, Kaminari, Bakugou, Sero, Kirishima, Tokoyami, Mineta, Satou, Kouda, Mina, Shouji, and Aoyama

for anyone doing the math, that is... nineteen votes.

curious, for a class consisting of twenty kids. and downright suspicious given the events that take place less than an hour later. assuming that each student voted for him or herself as implied, what this means is that every kid in class 1-A is accounted for on the day of the break-in, except one. and it’s not Kaminari.

it’s Hagakure.

Hagakure is not featured in any of the panels before or after the vote, either. true, she’s invisible, but she should still be wearing her uniform at the very least. but she is very distinctively the sole 1-A student unaccounted for during this chapter. Hagakure, whose quirk is invisibility. Hagakure, who could have easily slipped into the teacher’s office during the press onslaught and taken a copy of the schedule unnoticed. Hagakure, who is also one of only two people (the other being Aoyama) whose whereabouts are also unverified during the subsequent attack:

now this is where it gets really interesting. why would Hagakure’s location be deliberately withheld? especially since later on she says that she was actually with Todoroki the whole time:

unlike Aoyama, whose whereabouts remain a mystery because He Is Just Like That, Hagakure freely discloses her own whereabouts. the thing is though, if it wasn’t actually a secret, then why did Horikoshi go out of his way to omit it in the first place? there are other characters whose locations we only know because Horikoshi put them on the map. specifically Tokoyami and Kouda, who are never actually shown battling once they get warped away (at least not in the manga). yet despite this, their whereabouts aren’t a secret. it’s a deliberate choice by Horikoshi to not confirm where Hagakure actually is, and coming on the heels of her also being conspicuously MIA in chapter 12, this IMO is a huge red flag.

anyway, so now let’s fast forward to the training camp arc. now here, we do know where Hagakure ends up. specifically, she gets KOed by the gas along with Jirou. this makes her one of only two U.A. students who are not actually involved in the fighting either at the forest, or back at the lodge with Vlad. at first glance, that might appear to make her less suspicious. and it’s true that unlike the USJ arc, there is no evidence here that directly ties Hagakure to this particular invasion (though the same is true for pretty much everyone else as well). however, there are two things I would like to point out. the first is Hagakure and Jirou’s position in the test of courage lineup:

directly behind Todoroki and Bakugou (a.k.a. the League’s target). this would have put her in a good position to signal to the League when to attack. note that the attack didn’t commence until Baku and Todo had reached the midpoint of the trail, which results in their decision to press forward through the forest rather than turning back toward the start.

this is suspiciously good timing on the League’s part. it’s not confirmed they knew exactly when to strike -- they could have just gotten lucky -- but it’s something worth taking note of. 

and the second thing is that being so close to the League’s target would have made it difficult for Hagakure to escape without having to fight the League. and since she wasn’t alone, she couldn’t just run off and hide like during USJ. so it may be that she made the deliberate choice to let the poison gas take the two of them out instead, especially if she knew in advance that it wouldn’t actually be lethal. this gives her an alibi for the attack without putting her in the awkward position of potentially having to fight her own allies. all in all it’s making the best of a tricky situation.

lastly, here’s the thing that really clinches the whole theory for me, and it takes place a couple of days later. now remember, the purpose of this whole attack was for the League to kidnap Bakugou. they go to all that trouble, even losing three of their own members in the process. and what happens afterwards, barely two days later? the heroes track down the villains using Momo’s homing device and Naomasa’s fortuitous tip, and are able to get Bakugou back, albeit at great cost. all of that meticulous planning, only for the League to end up on the run, and with Tomura’s mentor taken captive to boot.

this seems like a huge oversight on behalf of the U.A. traitor if they knew about the heroes’ attack and didn’t think to warn the League. and the thing is, we know for a fact that every single member of class 1-A did know in advance, thanks to Kirishima and Shouto. every member that is, except two.

hmmm.

so, to reiterate. Hagakure Tooru:

has no alibi for the incident in chapter 12 during which someone stole the staff schedule as confirmed by Kurogiri in chapter 13

has no confirmed alibi for the USJ invasion

had the means and opportunity to pass along the training camp location to the villains, assuming she had a phone with GPS

is one of only two 1-A students who did not know that the heroes had tracked the villains’ location, and thus would not have been able to pass along that vital bit of info. we know that the villains were caught unawares by the heroes’ raid, so this is huge

so that’s three incidents (not counting the training camp location which admittedly anyone could have done) in which Hagakure is singled out as one of only a handful of people with no alibi during a critical moment. now granted, there are a handful of other candidates who could possibly fall under suspicion for same reasons. Aoyama’s whereabouts are also unknown during the USJ invasion, and Jirou was also knocked out during the training camp attack. however, Hagakure is the only one who lacks an alibi for all three incidents. and, crucially, she is the sole 1-A student who did not vote in the class president election, something which is never explained or even brought up but which is hidden in plain sight.

for these reasons, I pretty much have to conclude that Hagakure is the U.A. traitor. it just lines up. and for me, the difference between the Hagakure theory and the Kaminari theory is that the evidence for the former is based on actual events in the canon, whereas the Kami theory seems to mostly just be speculation about whether or not he’s secretly evil. and look, I have no idea whether or not Hagakure is evil. I have no clue why she’d be doing this. she seems nice (although it’s worth pointing out that we have no idea what she actually looks like, who her family is, or even how old she really is for that matter. her quirk is awfully convenient for being a spy). motive is definitely a big question mark here. but the fact remains that all of the evidence we have thus far points to one candidate, and that’s her.

anyways! so that’s the end of my post about the Kaminari traitor theory, I guess! basically, he is not the traitor for many reasons, but the most compelling one is that the actual traitor has already been confirmed in my book. anyhoo, this plot has more or less been on hold since chapter 98, so it’s been quite a while since we’ve had much to speak of in terms of new evidence. but as of 242 it looks like things may finally be on the move again, so that’s exciting. regardless of my opinion on the Kami theory, I’m excited that people are talking about this again, and I really can’t wait to see how things develop from here.

[ciestessde]

NOT My Hero Academia: Part 1 – Ch.9

"WE'LL PROCEED TO THE AFTERNOON PORTION AFTER A ONE-HOUR LUNCH BREAK! SEE YOU THEN!!" We could still hear both announcers as their voices faded out: "HEY, ERASERHEAD. WANNA GRAB SOME FOOD?" "I'm taking a nap." "WHA-?"

.

As we walked off the field, everyone drifted from our cavalry teams and back into our friend groups.

"This sucks," said Tsuyu, "But congrats all the same Mina." "Bakugo only picked me as a counter-strategy against Todoroki's ice," Mina replied, rubbing the back of her neck, "This win doesn't really say anything about my strength."

"Iida, you were so awesome, keeping us away from the other teams like that!" Uraraka praised, miming Iida's running. "Oh, no," Iida waved away her praise, "With your zero gravity and Tokoyami's dark shadow, it was a simple matter of paying attention to the different teams' locations relative to our own." "Geeez!!" Kirishima groaned, punching Iida in the arm, "And I wanted to win so badly!!" "Hey, at least we're moving on, right?" Mina cheered him up.

Todoroki cut-in, "It's Midoriya who deserves the praise, for getting such a high score in the first place," he turned to me, "And I imagine it was you who came up with that strategy as well." I rubbed the back of my head, blushing, "It was nothing, really. I mean…"

I started murmuring, "yeah, getting first place in the race was kinda tough, but the cavalry battle wasn't actually so difficult, since I had the ideal team and all, and-" Kirishima smacked me on the shoulder, a wide grin on his face. "You gotta stop it with all that! You did awesome, man! Own it! All that murmuring isn't manly!" "Yeah!" agreed Mina, pretending to be a photographer, "A hero's gotta show their stuff! Smile and wave for the camera!"

"Yeah, Deku!" Uraraka beamed at me, "We wouldn't have gotten first place if it wasn't for you!" I blushed even more deeply. "Hey, you wanna eat lunch together Iida?" She asked, turning her attention to him.

'I think…' I reflected, as I went to eat with my friends, 'this might be the best day of my life, so far.'

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As the students filed back into the stadium after lunch, Present Mic announced that those not continuing in the competition could still participate in a different activity. "HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THIS LITTLE RECREATIONAL COMPETITION!" He said to the audience, "ONCE THAT'S OVER, WE'RE ON TO THE FINAL EVENT. BETWEEN THE 15 MEMBERS OF THE FOUR WINNING TEAMS… WE'LL HAVE A FORMAL TOURNAMENT!! A SERIES OF ONE-ON-ONE BATTLES!!"

"A tournament huh?" said Kirishima, "So we'll be up in that ring I see on TV every year!" "Was it a tournament last year too?" Mina asked. Sero replied, "The format's always different, but most years involve some kind of head-to-head competition. Last year, it was foam sword fighting."

From the small stage in front of the remaining competitors, Midnight explained this year's competition, "The matchups will be decided by drawing lots." She held up a box labeled "Lots." "Once that's settled, we'll move on to the festivities and then the tournament itself! It's up to each of you 15 finalists whether or not you participate in the fun. I expect some of you would rather take a breather and save your strength.

"Now, let's start with the first-place team…" Midnight moved, about to step down from the stage so the students could pick from the box- When she was interrupted. "Um… Excuse me," Ojiro raised his hand, "I'd.. like to drop out."

There was chatter from all over the stadium, everyone wondering why he'd give up an opportunity to be noticed by the pro heroes. "The Cavalry Battle…" Ojiro lowered his arm slightly, not looking anyone in the eye, "I have no memories of anything that happened up until the tail end. It's probably his quirk that did it…"

Izuku looked around for -- who he assumed to be -- Shinso, the guy he remembered seeing Ojiro team up with and the one their team was named after. He spotted him standing alone, hands in his pockets and also not looking anyone in the eye. He wasn't even looking at Ojiro.

"I know this is a great opportunity. And I know how stupid it must seem to throw it away… But this final tournament…" He looked at his fist, his face tense, "Everyone else made it here by their own strength. Yet I'm standing here, and I don't even know how or why. I just can't take it."

"You're thinking about it too hard!" Toru tried to cheer him up, waving her gloves placatingly, "Just show what you're made of in the tournament!" "By that logic, I shouldn't really be here either!!" added Mina.

Ojiro lowered his head into his hand, shaking. "No… I'm talking about my pride, here… I don't think it's right."

.

After a few moments' pause and muttering from the crowd, Present Mic said, "WE HAVE A STRANGE TURN OF EVENTS…" "What will the coordinator, Midnight, decide?" Aizawa prompted.

"How naive and green… I… Like it!!" Midnight cracked her whip, grinning, "Ojiro has officially withdrawn! That brings us to an even 14 competitors!!" The screen lit up, a bracket with names displayed on it. "Here are the new matchups!"

The first bracket consisted of Izuku vs Shinso, Todoroki vs Sero, and Iida vs Hatsume; the second bracket was Kirishima vs Kaminari, Mina vs Aoyama, Tokoyami vs Yaoyorozu, and Uraraka vs Bakugo. 'If I win my first match… My second's against Todoroki!' Izuku thought.

'But before that…' "Shinso…" "Izuku Midoriya," came a voice from behind him, "That's you, yeah?"

Before Izuku could respond, there was a hand covering his mouth. It was Ojiro. "Midoriya!! That guy… Don't answer him." "?!"

.

"NOW LET'S SET ASIDE THE TOURNAMENT FOR THE TIME BEING… AND GET ON WITH THE THRILL-A-MINUTE FESTIVITIES!"

.

Once Shinso had walked away, Ojiro asked to talk with Izuku alone, leading him to one of the competitor prep rooms.

And explained his theory.

"A mind-control quirk?" Izuku gaped, "How can I hope to win against that?!" "My loss might be your gain. My memories cut out from the instant I replied to him," he said, tapping his head with his finger, "That's the trick, I think." "So…" Izuku murmured, "It's all over if I slip up and say anything to him…"

Izuku gave a small shiver. If that was the case, he was impressed. That was a powerful tool Shinso had, alright! "Not necessarily," Ojiro said, "It doesn't seem like such an almighty ability.

"Remember how I said I didn't remember anything up until the end?" Izuku nodded. He'd thought that was odd. "When Shinso had us run past to nab Tetsutetsu's headband… I think I must've bumped into Tetsutetsu's formation… 'Cause that's when I snapped out of it. I was suddenly aware of what was happening!" "So it was undone by physical contact?" Izuku put a hand to his chin, his mind already comparing and weighing strategies. "That seems very likely," Ojiro nodded, his chair creaking as he leaned back, "That said, I have no idea how strong the contact needs to be. And in a one-on-one match, of course you can't expect any outside help.

"Anyway, that's all I can tell you." Ojiro got up to leave, and Izuku rose to meet him. "No, that's awesome! Thanks!" "No problem! Uh-… Forgive me if I'm out of line, but…" Ojiro held out his fist, "Win this one for me."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Before I knew it, the recreational activities were over. It was my turn; time to face my first serious opponent outside of a classroom.

"HEY, GUYS. ARE YOU READY?! YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL TO GET HERE!! BUT NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE ONE-ON-ONE TOURNAMENT!!" My heart was racing. But… I felt oddly calm, too. … Prepared. "YOU'VE ONLY GOT YOURSELF TO RELY ON!! EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A HERO, THIS SAYING HOLDS TRUE! YOU KNOW IT!! SPIRIT, TECHNIQUE, STRENGTH, WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE!! USE 'EM ALL AND SHOW US YOUR BEST!!"

Shinso, the audience, and I, all had to wait a few more tense seconds as Cementoss put the finishing touches on the arena. Then… we walked out.

"THE FIRST MATCH!! MAKING A SCARY FACE, AND WITH THE EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE TO BACK IT UP, IT'S IZUKU MIDORIYA, FROM THE HERO COURSE!! VERSUS… SORRY, BUT THIS GUY HASN'T REALLY DONE ANYTHING TO STAND OUT YET! IT'S HITOSHI SHINSO, FROM GENERAL STUDIES!!" My ears were ringing from the sheer volume of the crowd's cheering. Evidently, they were looking forward to this event. … I supposed I couldn't blame them. "THE RULES ARE SIMPLE! WIN BY KNOCKING YOUR OPPONENT OUT OF THE RING, IMMOBILIZING THEM OR GETTING THEM TO SAY 'I GIVE UP'!

"BRING THE PAIN!! WE'VE GOT OUR GOOD OLD RECOVERY GIRL ON STANDBY!! AND FIGHT DIRTY IF YOU MUST! 'ETHICS' HAVE NO MEANING HERE!!" Cementoss made himself a throne of stone where he could watch the entire arena. '"Ethics have no meaning"...? Isn't this a "hero" fight…?'

I didn't have time to follow that train of thought. "WELL, OF COURSE, GOING FOR THE KILL IS A NO-NO!! YOU'LL BE DISQUALIFIED! BECAUSE A TRUE HERO'S FISTS FLY ONLY WHEN IN THE PURSUIT OF VILLAINS!"

"'I give up,' huh?" Shinso said, "Get it, Izuku Midoriya? This battle's going to test your strength of will." The look in Shinso's eyes… It looked familiar to me, somehow… "If you've got any kind of vision for your future, there's no sense in worrying about how you get there."

"NOW LET'S GET THIS THING STARTED!!" Shinso's voice overlapped with Present Mic's: "Like that monkey, babbling about his stupid pride."

"READYYYYYYYYY!! START!!"

"What kind of dumbass throws away a chance like this?"

Not responding was turning out to be more difficult than I imagined. 'Save it for later! I MUSTN'T -' I kept reminding myself, '- I can't. Say. ANYTHING right now!' I told myself the best way to protect my friend's honor… 'I can't lose this!! What I need to think about now…'

.

While the two of us were just standing there, the audience unable to hear Shinso's taunting, some unexpected commentary came from above us. "I mentioned that that entrance exam was completely irrational," Aizawa explained to the crowd and Present Mic, "This kid is a perfect example of why." "Hmm? What's that?" Present Mic responded to Aizawa at a lower volume than his usual commentary. "Here are the simple specs on these two. I've got them here because we knew this would be a quirk versus quirk battle. In theory, anyway."

The sound of paper shuffling could be heard. "Shinso failed the practical part of the exam, so he lost a spot in the hero course. He got into general studies, though, and that's all he could have hoped for. His quirk is extraordinarily powerful, but… Given the format of the practical exam… his ability didn't help him out. "And yet, someone with no quirk at all managed to get past it!"

"That's right," Shinso was talking again, "Thanks to my quirks nature, I couldn't enter the golden gates!" That familiar look in Shinso's eyes intensified.

And suddenly… I realized what it was.

"But you get it. You're not naturally blessed, either. So I don't really have anything against you… That said, I'm not giving up." I swallowed nervously. 'I do get it. That's how I used to think too. But…' I realized… that I should really… just get this over with.

'… right. I… I am blessed. Even if it's NOT "natural."'

"Those people…" Shinso's expression turned furious -- hateful even. And suddenly… It stopped looking familiar. "Born with their awesome quirks… Getting to follow all their dreams!!"

'I'm blessed… by the people in my life! By Master… And by my friends! And that's… exactly why… ' Shinso took a step toward me, "Say something already!" 'That's why I'm… not gonna lose!!'

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Abruptly, Izuku charged at Shinso. 'Sorry. I really wish I didn't have to do this.' It wasn't a surprise. It couldn't be. Of course Shinso tried to run, to fight… Nonetheless, with the large gap in their training, experience, and strength…

It was a simple matter for Izuku to overpower Shinso… 'I don't… have anything against you either!' … and throw him out of the ring.

After a brief pause out of shock at the sudden… anticlimactic victory, Midnight announced, "Shinso is out of the ring!! Midoriya… moves on to the second round!!" "IZUKU MIDORIYA MOVES ON TO THE SECOND ROUND!!" Present Mic repeated, his tone of voice just a tad surprised. "GOODNESS GRACIOUS! WE'RE OFF TO AN EVENTFUL START! PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR OUR FIERCE COMPETITORS!"

.

As Shinso got up -- before he could walk away -- Izuku asked the question that had been burning in his mind, "Shinso… Why do you wanna be a hero so badly?" Without even pausing to think, Shinso responded, "We don't get to choose the things we naturally admire."

"...!" Izuku froze. Surprised, and… confused. 'His feelings… They're the same as…' Izuku looked up into the stands… but couldn't spot him. 'I still admire All Might…

'… Or…' Confused because, at the lack of feeling in his chest, he had to wonder, 'Do I…?'

Izuku was broken from his internal debate, "You were awesome out there, Shinso!" Shinso's classmates were cheering him from the stands. "You had us on the edge of our seats!" "You're the shining star of us general studies guys!" "You did just as well as the guy who got third in the obstacle course!"

Izuku smiled; it was right that they cheer Shinso. He'd done wel- "Why is that quirkless kid in the Hero Course and not Shinso? He has such a strong quirk." '...!'

.

Far away, All For One smirked. 'That's it. Listen to what the crowd is saying…'

.

"That quirk would be great against villains. I wish I had it…" "What the hell's U.A. thinking? Putting him in general studies…" "Well, they can only admit so many. That's just how it is." "There's only so much you can do… when there's such a large gap in their battle experiences. What a shame… A big loss to the Hero Course, not having a quirk like that."

Shinso's classmates heard it too, "You're awesome!" "Hear that, Shinso?" '… Right.' Izuku thought, 'Of course that's how they-'

"They'll consider transfers to the hero course depending on the results here." Izuku was interrupted again. Snapped out of his thoughts this time by the sound of Shinso's voice. "Remember that. Maybe I failed this time, but… I'm not giving up." His voice was filled with determination, although the hatred wasn't completely gone. "I'll show them I've got what it takes to make the hero course, and I'll become a greater hero than all of them."

Without thinking, Izuku responded, "Hang on. I-" 'Oh! He got me… But why? The match is already over…' "People who respond to me tend to stiffen up like that…" Shinso looked over his shoulder at Izuku, grinning. "It'd be easy to mess everything up for you now… So just promise me…"

He released him. "… you won't lose in a sorry way out there." This time, Izuku responded with just a smile and a nod.

That hatred… 'He… probably has his reasons…'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Beginning]

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Read my original book, Crossroad of Infinity for free right here on Tumblr, on my website, or on AO3!

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Taxi Cab (Peter Parker's iPod, Part 13.)

Series description: Blip was hard. Dating MJ was a pleasure in Parker’s life, so it was even harder when she told him that things aren’t working as she anticipated - one month before college. Although they remained friends. But Peter isn’t too sure if he can handle liking yet another girl.

Part Summary: Slowly, you knew that there's something very fishy going on around Peter. But to realize what, that was fucking wild.

A/N: And I oop-

Word count: 4.1 K

Tagging: @fanboyswhereare-you, @lukesbabylon, @eridanuswave​

Master list: H E R E

For the love of God, you were lucky enough not to think about the weekend and what happened at the farm. The big final exams were approaching and as much as you were nervous around it, you had Peter around all the time. You had to concentrate on sitting around the books, scripts, and notes you have taken at school.

You've sat through hours with being taught the topics by MJ and Betty, there wasn't even time to binge Netflix properly - you woke up and studied, ate your lunch while studied and fell asleep on your school materials. And Peter wasn't making it too much easier for you.

After what happened during your weekend, he was acting like a lovesick puppy. And it making you flip out. You would handle the uncomfortable stares he gave you every time you turn around, you could close your eyes when it came to the topic of Peter buying coffees and food, not wanting you to pay him back a single penny. But that kiss was a mistake. It was your small brain failure.

It made you think about Spider boy a lot, much more than ever before. There was somehow a lot of him in Peter. It was him and not Peter who could you feel in the kiss. Was that falling in love or something? With someone you didn't even know? With someone who's face you hadn't seen? Damn, weren't you just fucked?

But trying to brush Peter off, that wasn't doing any actual good either way. He was unstoppable. You weren't able to shake him off your back. He was one persistent guy as far as you could say. Some might see that as a sweet thing that a boy in love does, but you were just sick of his puppy ass.

The real breaking point came by on its own. The whole gang gathered up in your flat and after a week of consistent studying, you were just sick of hearing words like ontogenesis or superego - so you just ordered an oversized pizza, gathered around the TV, and played some music videos on MTV.

Ned was excited to rap almost a whole song from Eminem. He made up almost half of the words and was out of his breath after the first verse, but he delivered it like a boss. When Ned was done, it was your and MJ's time to show them how much you've perfected Will Smith's Prince of Bell Air. Peter then sang something from Celine Dion, but that was when a Drake song popped in.

"Not this garbage, come on! I know you made Y/N listen to it too, but we don't like Drake here!" - MJ begged and brought Betty a bit closer. Ned chuckled and looked at you, making you look at Peter as well.

You laughed for a moment before you stiffened and let the smile disappear from your face. It was just a small thing, but it made your eyes widen in horror. One date, maybe a month ago, Spidey rapped the same song. The same one, leaving out the same words, mumbling at the same time.

There was more and more info that fucking thing. There were more and more connections building up in front of your very eyes and that couldn't simply be seen. He was kissing like Spidey, singing the song exactly like him and for a reason, you could say that some characteristics were overshadowing each other at some point.

Whoa. Hold up. That was too crazy for you to believe. For a moment, you sat there with your mouth fully opened and eyes widened. Your heart was hurting as realization after realization landed inside your fucking brain. These lips. The smile. The words that were said. The smell. Suddenly, you stopped everything and got up, left to your room and locked yourself in - and for the first time, you rolled the rollers down, making yourself completely isolated from the outside world.

You heard someone knock on your door, asking you if you're okay, but you didn't answer them at all. You just played some music so you wouldn't hear the MTV mess coming from the other room and when that was done, you sat on your bed and opened up your laptop, looking at the pictures you had there. There was a lot with Ned, Betty, and MJ, but Peter was obviously on 90% of these photos with you.

This realization must've been your brain fucking playing some games on you. It couldn't be logically explained. Are you never fucking ever thought about Parker being Spidey for a second and suddenly, your brain just decided that he is and there's not a single thing you can do about it? What kind of fuckery were you playing with yourself? In what universe could Peter fucking Benjamin Parker be Spider-Man. Yeah, he could carry you around for quite a long time, but he didn't exactly need super strength for doing so.

As you were going through the photos with your lips parted, you noticed that MJ got the second key from your bedroom and unlocked the door. But as soon as she was in, she immediately locked it again so Betty or Ned, who were still in the living room, wouldn't come there.

"You fine? I've never seen you runnin' like that... Ever. You fucking freaked me out." - She sat beside you. Her brown eyes looked over the screen of your laptop, at your parted lips, teary eyes, and you being rolled up in two blankets. - "Oh, fuck."

That was what she said. There was no other question, there wasn't a need for words. She knew what all of that meant. You figured it out. And yeah, she was kinda harsh on Peter telling you and she knew she shouldn't send him these aggressive texts and e-mails because you always told her that she's being way more aggressive than she needs to be, but... It hurt her to see you hurt.

"Come here, chicken nugget." - She closed that computer and let you hug her. Her fingers dipped under the blanket so she could caress your back while you started weeping. Before any of you spoke out loud, you felt her lips gently touch your temple in a comforting kiss.

"Did you know that? I mean, I don't even have to be right, I mean, even that idea alone is crazy." - You spoke quietly as you wept your eyes out. Your arms were holding MJ's waist super-tight.

"It's not that crazy. I knew... Everything. I did. And I'm sorry that you feel hurt, baby." - MJ whispered back sadly, looking at the old rose you still had on your table.

"Why didn't you tell me? You always tell me every fucking bullshit, but this time, not a single word?" - You sat up, hearing as Moral of the Story starting to play in the background. At that moment, you could see that Michelle's face got very uncomfortable, which wasn't normal at all. She was looking all around the room and she bit her lip.

"This is a tough one, okay? And I don't think I can explain everything to you since you wouldn't get all of it. I guess I just concluded that it isn't my business. You seemed to be happy and Peter was higher than on cloud nine. It wasn't nice. He hadn't done a good thing at all, but he did it with his best beliefs. He is... A good kid. Maybe he's too good and the Spider-Manning..." - She tried to explain herself, but her words just weren't enough at all. She couldn't give you even a hint of what was happening inside of her. It was chaos. Nothing but chaos.

MJ wanted to protect you from getting hurt, of course, she did - you were practically the only female best friend she ever had. She also wanted to protect Peter from getting hurt. All Michelle wanted was to see everyone happy, enjoying their lives. But as soon as she realized what kind of fuckery Peter started, she knew that happiness isn't the outcome you're all going to get. Tears and bad words were coming your way.

And Michelle knew it has potentially the power to destroy your whole friendship with Peter. Because realizing that Parker was the spandex dumbass you've fallen for was something unexpected and shocking for you.

"When were at the farm, at my granny's... I've kissed Peter. And not that spandex asshole. Because I realized that maybe, there's something about that boy. And if there wasn't for the whole Spider-Man thing I would most probably date him. All he had to do was to ask, MJ. Or am I that scary?" - You asked again, tears running on your cheeks again. MJ closed her eyes and let you lay your head on her thigh. With a long exhale she was caressing and playing with strands of your hair.

"You and scary? Jesus Christ, that's a good one. It's not you, baby,  Peter's just a dumbass." - She whispered back, letting you fall asleep.

[kob131]

https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/625369121618640896/done-dirty-gods

I’d like to make the point that the light god, the dude who killed Oz repeatedly and abused Salem to the point that she became the villainous being that we know today, is somehow on the “Heroes Wiki.”

You know, not like she demanded special treatment, tried going behind his back and tried to destroy him and his brother all because she demanded that the cycle of death not apply to who she wants.

Because I guess abusers are heroes now.

Says the creator of the ‘Savivor Mom Raven’ series.

Oh, and also, I HAD TO USE GODDAMN SOUTH PARK AS PART OF MY OPENER!

Incorrectly might I add as both the Light and Dark gods are not portrayed as directly opposing each other. So you’re mad you ‘had’ to use a show’s meme...incorrectly.

Let’s get this out of the way for any of idiots out there: Salem was NOT responsible for Humanity 1.0′s death. She may have provoked these two asshats, but she wasn’t the one who

1: Loaded the gun.

2: Aimed the gun.

3: Fired the gun.

By the same logic, people say Yang murdered Adam. How does that go with you again?

What did Salem do?- She just stood up to them and, inadvertently, gave them a target. 

She directly lied to the first iteration of humanity after being punished for lying to the gods and being directly told she shouldn’t have done that all over demanding her husband be brought back to life even though God knows how many people die and aren’t brought back by the gods despite having just as much reason to want them back as Salem.

As far as I’m concerned, these gods were the villains of the story, and what I wouldn’t give to see Yang punch one of them in the face.

Probably because it’s a penis vs. vagina for you.

When making these “Godly” characters, it’s okay to give them flaws. In fact, that’s what makes the Greek Gods, Norse Gods, Japanese Gods, and Egyptian Gods so interesting. They have flaws, weaknesses, and more relatable personality aspects that makes it seem like we could have the guy responsible for the ocean’s tides as our next door neighbor, or the adorable little dog across the street as the one responsible for the sun coming up… and beating up a fish in a giant mech suit. Goddamn, I want to play Okami again.

I got off-topic. The point is, is that it’s okay for these Gods to give flawed advice… Provided that they gave advice at all.

See, Light God was insensitive to Salem’s plight, and in all likelihood, used the same rhetoric that her father used to lock her up in that tower as an excuse to just brush her off.

Salem: (falling to her knees) Please... Please, bring him back to me.

God of Light: I understand your pain, but you demand of me that which I cannot make so. Life and death are part of a delicate balance.

Such terrible rhetoric.

BTW, funny how you mention the Greek Gods. You want to know what the role of most Greek Gods are in their home myths?

Living Embodiments of Punishing Pride.

Helena Of Troy’s mother, Narcassist and Echo, Odysseus, Arachne, Midas-

Most of the targets of the gods were people who dared to act arrogant and like they were better/deserved more with the Gods smiting them for their fatal sin. Even the Gods themselves weren’t exempt from this, as many of them fell prey to their own pride and arrogance with the few (mostly) unscathed Gods being that way because they were significantly less prideful. Fuck, the Greek Gods came to be because Chronos was so cocky he could just eat his kids that it never occurred to him that his wife Rhea would trick him.

In fact, an always noteworthy story I remember was the tale of Orpheus and Euradyice, where a man traveled to the Underworld using his musical talents and demanded to have his wife brought back to life. It ALMOST didn’t work but he was just able to convince Hades on the condition that he not turn back on his way home. Spoiler Alert, he did out of a lack of faith in Hades, his wife WAS following him but he lost her because of it.

I bring this up because the Greek Gods were the INSPIRATION for the Brothers and I’d bet dollars to donuts that Orpheus’ tale was the inspiration for Salem and Ozma. You try to act like you know something about these things but completely ignore that hubris, the thing that fucked Salem over, was a running theme in the source of her backstory.

So when Salem goes to Dark God, and he does fulfill her request, it’s honestly like Salem is now picking a side. Except, it turns out that Dark God actually has to answer to the Light God.

God of Light: I know we have our differences, but I have not come here with the aim to control you. The same, however, cannot said for her. This woman came to you only after I denied her pleas – pleas that would have disrupted the balance that you and I created. Together.

The younger brother ponders this revelation.

God of Darkness: Then it seems I owe you an apology. Allow me to correct my mistake.

No he doesn’t. But nice cut context.

Does the relationship between the gods seem… manipulative to anyone? Like… The Light God (Fuck it, let’s call him “Lumin” for now, I’m not typing out that whole thing) is abusive to his brother?

Considering what I quoted above- Nope.

Acording to… I think it was Qrow, possibly in a WOR, the Dark God (Let’s call him “Ebon” because that’s a badass name, and I’m honestly not in the mood for “Light = Good, Dark = Evil” to be the underlying theme here) made his creations first. then Lumin was all “I can make something too!” and made humans to one-up his brother.

RWBY Volume 4 Episode 8 “A Much Needed Talk”

Qrow: They were two brothers. The older sibling, the God of Light, found joy in creating forces of life. Meanwhile, the younger brother, the God of Darkness, spent his time creating forces of destruction. As you can imagine, they both had pretty different ideas about how things should go. The older one would spend his days creating water, plants, wildlife. And at night, his brother would wake to see all the things that the elder had made and become disgusted. To counteract his brother's creations, the God of Darkness brought drought, fire, famine, all he could do to rid Remnant of life. Life always returned. So one night, the younger brother went and made something - something that shared his innate desire to destroy anything and everything.

Ruby: The creatures of Grimm.

Qrow: You guessed it. The older brother finally had enough. Knowing that their feud couldn't last like this forever, he proposed that they make one final creation... together, something that they could both be proud of, their masterpiece. The younger brother agreed. This last great creation would be given the power to both create and destroy. It would be given the gift of knowledge, so that it could learn about itself and the world around it. And most importantly, it would be given the power to choose, to have free will to take everything it had learned and decide which path to follow - the path of light or the path of darkness. And that is how Humanity came to be.

You misrepresent the show AND got it backwards. The God of Light created things first, then The God of Darkness and Humanity was a joint project.

Why should we consider you at all reliable, especially given how easy it would be to research this?

Like… Does that at all seem healthy to you?

No in fact, The God of Darkness is kind of a jackass. But nice job portraying your delusions as the exact opposite dumbass.

But regardless of that relationship, Lumin basically acted like that one abusive parent who destroys all of the child’s toys just because they went to the other parent to do something that the first parent was callous in denying them to do. Sorry if that brought up any bad memories for people.

More like they took the toy away when the child tricked the other parent into buying it even though the first said no.

Not to mention the relics. Outside of their purpose to resummon the gods, they don’t really do much. But these are literal artifacts left behind by said gods.

Plus, Lumin give Oz an impossible task of uniting humanity. It’s like he wants Oz to fail because he just wants an excuse to wipe them all out again.

How is it impossible when Humanity was united BEFORE SALEM?

Lumin treats humankind as an “experiment gone wrong” as if he’s just playing with peoples’ lives for his own amusement. If anything, Ebon is more sympathetic because he actually listens to their problems and wants to help them out.

Yeah-

The God of Darkness created the Grimm that make Remnant such a horrible place to live and was the one that killed all of humanity.

God of Darkness: My own gift to them... used against me.

The God of Light looks away in disappointment as the God of Darkness squeezes the sphere within his hand, creating a massive shockwave that envelops the world, smiting everything and everyone in its path. Humanity has been turned to dust, only Salem remains due to her immortality.

How is he more sympathetic?

Meanwhile Lumin is all “Sucks that your man died. Now get out.” at best.

We get it- You’re delusional.

Let’s take a look at another set of flawed gods in the form of The Norse Pantheon. Namely, Odin, Loki, and Thor. In myth, these guys were all given tasks that were basically impossible. Thor was tasked with drinking the ocean, and failed. Odin wrestled with time, and was brought down. And Loki lost an eating contest to fire. These flaws and weaknesses in regards to their hubris are part of them.

Meanwhile, Apollo lost a love to Eros because he said that he couldn’t shoot as well as him but I guess you’d assume Eros was the bad guy.

I mentioned this briefly in my “Done dirty: Oz” post, but Oz was basically brought back to cause conflict. Because… I guess Lumin was bored?

Or you know- a second chance to have the gifts of the Brothers again.

But the narrative wants people to see that Lumin and Ebon are “All good. All caring. And all knowing.”

Which is a load of bullshit. The narrative tries to paint Salem as some unsympathetic witch who couldn’t let go. When…

1: The woman was abused and locked in a tower until Oz came to rescue her.

2: She was willing to fight God to get him back. If anything, that shows true love. If you want my opinion, if you’re not willing to deck a deity in the nose for your loved one, then you don’t care about them (Take that, Abraham. Willing to sacrificing your own son just because your God told you to. Bet you wouldn’t see that from Amaterasu).

1. Doesn’t matter. There have to be people living just as bad if not WORSE than Salem and lost loved ones- it’s literally the rules EVERYONE has to abide by.

2. No, she tried to fight two gods because she was pissy. She never tried to fight them until AFTER lying to the God of Darkness and lead people to their deaths. All in the name of a legendary HERO, someone who WOULDN’T want to be brought back after all this death.

What I’m saying is that these gods are detached. Which would be an interesting aspect if the narrative had bothered to show that as being a bad thing.

So were the Greek Gods. Not the point of either one.

Then again, this is all being told by Jinn, a creation of the Gods (Namely Lumin). So maybe there’s some bias in there where they’re trying to make Salem out to be irredeemable while the gods are the undisputed good guys- and holy SHIT!- Jinn’s in on the gaslighting. 

i mean… I still want everyone to eventually realize that Salem was gaslighted into being the villain of the story. because that sounds way better than the “Abused woman lashes out and becomes evil” angle that they seem to be going at.

Yeah and Adam was branded. Guess that means you think Adam was in right to chop off Yang’s arm then.

Funny thing there- You literally can’t redeem Adam OR Salem and keep the other evil without looking hypocritical because they committed the SAME FUCKING SINS.

But given the writers’ ability to handle racism (or lack thereof), I don’t exactly have a lot of confidence in this.

Way to reference the plotline with the walking counter example in it.

Then again, the did call her Salem…

… But also again, they did write the WF plot as that horrible mess…

But they also looked into a lot of fairy tale aspects for their characters…

While you didn’t do a lick of research or else you’d know the shit about the Greek Gods.

Then again, you couldn’t even be bothered to confirm the shit about the Brothers even as you openly say ‘I don’t remember this clearly.’ So what really should I expect?

[the-witches-son]

something endearing about Snape

Something i’ve been kind of mulling over and thinking about in regards to Snape-- and which I find frustrating, but endearing-- is how... he is continually disadvantaged and disregarded by systems of power and persons of authority... but he chooses to work within their framework, anyways. 

Snape is Lawful-neutral, to his own detriment. Hear me out.

Like, as a student, he gets bullied. It’s 4 against 1, and he’d have a hard time picking them off if he wanted to go a more aggressive or lethal route. In any case, he tends to be reactionary, rather than necessarily going out of his way to find and attack them... So, he tries to get them expelled, because that would be a way to remove all 4 of his threats at once, and it’s not as if they don’t consistently break the rules... Shouldn’t people who break the rules and mistreat others be punished? So when he’s almost lead to his death at the Shrieking Shack, he appeals to the system of authority (of whom Dumbledore is the purveyor, in this case) with what he feels is a pretty airtight case against his bullies... 

...and he gets written off, and blackmailed into keeping his mouth shut.

If it were me, that kind of slap in the face would ensure i never respected another authority figure again in my life tbh. The Law and the gods that govern it would be dead to me. Anyways...

Being a werewolf does not inherently make Lupin a bad person. But being a good person does not make Lupin inherently safe. The point is: when you transform into a werewolf, you lose control of yourself, and that can result in you killing, maiming, or infecting other people. Lupin knows this. He’s known it for over 20 years,

As of 1993, there was this great new discovery: the Wolfsbane Potion, which helps to curb the effects of lycanthropy, right? It’s super expensive and super hard to make, but it’s an effective way to mitigate the more vicious effects of a transformation-- it turns the drinker into a harmless wolf, rather than a werewolf, at the time of the full moon. A wolf, who is easier to control or subdue if one is confronted with it, and who seems to retain some semblence of control during the transformation (Lupin having described himself as curling up in his office during his transformations).

You may be thinking that wolfsbane potion is the closest thing to a preventative  that the Wizarding World has circa 1993, and you’d be right. It’s not a cure, and people who drink it can still infect others, but damn, it makes it way more manageable.

We know that Severus, on more than one occasion, goes out of his way to give Lupin his potion (whether Lupin continually forgets to take it, or purposefully “forgets” to take it as a small power play/intimidation game against Snape is up for interpretation). Either way, we know that Lupin regularly forgets to take the life-changing potion unless prompted, which kind of makes him out as reckless. A timebomb. 

Severus, who is not only a virtuoso on the Dark Arts and all that it entails (and thus, academically, very informed on the dangers that (non-medicated) Werewolves pose), is also intimately and personally aware of the threat Lupin poses to a school full of children as well as the staff, because of his experience in the 70s. Snape brings all of this up to Dumbledore... 

...who repeatedly dismisses his well-founded and logical fears. 

Snape is still beholden to Dumbledore’s insistance that he keep his mouth shut. Which he does for most of the year. The very explicit parameters of the system are: do not tell anyone that Lupin is a werewolf. 

So, being the logical thinker that Snape is, he looks for (and finds) a way to achieve his desired outcome (informing people that Lupin is a werewolf) in a way that does work within those parameters. He can’t tell anyone outright that Lupin is a werewolf, but like... what if someone figured it out on their own?

Then we have Snape in the Shrieking Shack with the kids, Sirius, and Lupin. 

Harry, in the moment after Black disarmed them all, straight-up wanted to kill Sirius. He gets his wand back, and he is about to fucking murder this guy, until crookshanks sits over his heart.

Snape comes up the stairs to the 2nd floor of the shack, right? He’s wearing the Invisibility cloak. No one knows he’s there or hears him coming. He could have killed Sirius in an instant, without anyone knowing. He could kill Sirius AND Lupin if he wanted to, and dump the corpses on the ministry steps, and convince the minister that he had deduced that they were working together months ago. 

He could easily explain to the minister that he knew they were childhood friends, that Lupin started working at Hogwarts at the exact same time Black “wanted to infiltrate” Hogwarts, and that his speculations were dismissed. He could say all of this with the kids and Dumbledore to corroborate his story (since he arrives at the Shrieking Shack BEFORE the kids get the low-down on Pettigrew) and he would STILL get his order of Merlin (maybe 2?) But instead of killing them... 

...he disarms and restrains them. 

He’s like “Yeah, I’m handing you off to the Dementors, dickhead” but it’s important to remember... he disarms them, restrains them, and is willing to turn them over to the “authorities.” Even though, at this point, he whole-heartedly believes that 1. Black is a murderer, who killed like 23 people, and who broke out of wizard prison and 2. Lupin, a werewolf who has consistently not taken his potion and whom Snape believes has conspired to kill him in the past, is aiding and abetting said murderer... Severus Snape does not take the law into his own hands. He’s not about Vigilante Justice.

And... he gets disarmed, thrown against a wall, and almost ends up attacked by a werewolf for it later. heh

This is just up to the first 3 books, because i just finished re-reading them, but i’m certain there are more examples of these types of exchange in subsequent books. In any case, I love how the books have this consistent theme of “Harry distrusts authority, disrespects it, and challenges the system,” that’s all very good. 

But i also love that Severus Snape, the dude that everyone argues is super unfair, petty, spiteful, etc... attempts to use strategic thinking to operate within the paramaters of these systems, and tries to maintain respect for these systems, and consistently gets his ass handed to him for it. I love you, you lawful-neutral dumbass.