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acourtof-ash-and-ruin · 6 years ago

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The Afterlife Chronicles by Sam Cortland:

ToG~ • "Who the hell are these two sons of bitches?" • "Celaena...don't look at them like that..." • "Hold up- are those the same two at that one party....?" • "If this Dorian tries to kiss her... And he did... Welp I'll have to kick his ass when he gets here." • "Wait. Hold on. This is a love triangle...I'm on team "she should still be with me" • "Kick Cain's evil ass!" • "PLEASE DONT DIE!" • "Ok Chaolaena is kind of cute... And he did save her life... Who am I kidding? Team Samlaena for life." CoM~ • "WHY ARE YOU DOUBTING YOUR BEST FRIEND???? ASDJKSHDF..." • "I'm watching you Kale." • "And Doriaaaaannnnnsssss outta there!!! YUS!" • "Damn you, Kale." • "Woah...WOAH!! MY EYES!!! CELAENA STAHP. NO MORE SOUNDS EITHER... OH. MY. GODS. I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THIS." • *Nehemia dies* "Oh shit. Celaena... No I'm sorry!" • "AND KAAAAALLLLLEEEESSSS OUTTA THERE!!!" • "I don't like this underground library... Why are you going alone?????" • "DORIAN HAS MAGIC!!!!! PLOT TWIST!" • "Hold up- you're a queen...and a fae... And Celaena never really existed.... My whole life was a lie." HoF~ • "Get your lazy butt up and go find your Aunt!" • "Not. Another. Male." • "DONT YOU DARE TALK TO MY GF LIKE THAT!" • "Threaten to whip her again, Whitethorn, and I will personally hunt you down in your next life and haunt you forever." • "Ihaterowanihaterowanihaterowan." • "YOU TOUCH HER AGAIN AND YOU ARE SCREWED MISTER FAE BASTARD!" • "THANK YOU EMRYS!" • "F you Rowan." • "Celaena...NO FIRE. NO. STOP." • "I could swear you're a cat with nine lives or something..." • "Damn she's hot... Ayeeee!" • "TELL HIM ABOUT ENDOVIER AND TAKE THE DAMN PITY." • "These plans of yours aren't safe... Then again I should know that by now....." • "Ok...sleep in his bed, 'un-romantically.' That's a lie." • "Maybe he's ok.... But I was better." • "YES THATS MY CELAENA. SCREW THE VALG!" • "F the cadre.... Except for Gavriel. He's ok..." • "GET UP PLEASE." • "SCREW MAEVE." • "Oh dang.... Yes, free him! He kind of ok." • *is tearing up as she gets tattoos* "Ok, this is sweet." • "WHY ARE YOU GOING BY YOURSELF??? HELL HAS BEEN UNLEASHED. YOU NEED THAT STUPID BASTARD. OH DEAR GODS." QoS~ • "That new hair color... Dayummmm!" • "Just don't find Arobynn....... I spoke too soon." • "Oh look it's Captain 'Indecisive' Westfall." • "Really avoided a bad one with that Prince... I mean now he's possessed..." • "YOU DID NOT JUST CALL HER A MONSTER. FIGHT ME VEGGIE MAN!" • *is laughing* "Keep messing with Kale, sweetie, I like it." • *Is humming Mission Impossible theme music* "Go get your cousin, babe!" • "YASSSSS QUEEEN" • "F you still Rowan. You're better but... You had to come back? Damn." • "Woah woah wait a minute- Lysandra????? She's- you're friends now??" • "Of course... Of course he gets to sleep with you when you're IN A DAMN GOLD NIGHTGOWN." • "No ones said it yet- so I will, ROWAN IS A SAVAGE." •AROBYNN DO NOT PUT THAT RING.... YOU LITTLE..." • "I have been informed the ring was fake." • "Get your filthy hands off her, Mr. Salvaterre. I'll FiTe you!" • "Kill the witch!!! Use water- maybe she'll melt." • "'My...Rowan.' YOUR WHAT CELAENA- shoot wrong name- AELIN????" • "Oh ok- now the witch is kind of helping..." • "So Dorian is still there?" • "Does Kale still need to be here?" • "YES LYSANDRA KILL THAT BASTARD!" • "That's my girl!!!" • "Oh dear gods... Kale please do something useful- WHY WOULD YOU FACE HIM ON YOUR OWN???" • "KILL THE KING! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" • "DORIAN IS BAAAACCCKKK!" • *strums guitar* "When your legs don't work like they used to before..." • "Go reclaim your land, babe! My Queen!" • "YOU SAID MY LINE BUT WITH YOUR NAME AND AHSJSGSGDKFGSH" EoS- • "TOO. MANY. POVS. SO. MANY. THINGS. HAPPENING." • "Like hell she isn't your queen." • *begrudingly* "Ok, fine! Fire breathing bitch queen is my favorite title..." • "Thank the gods Kale is gone- hopefully he doesn't screw it all up.....that's going to be hard for him." • "I see you Lysandra and Aedion." • "All this time... A shape shifter and a fae queen... I must be hawt." • "DO YOU ALL NOT NOTICE HER PLANNING FACE- NOT GOOD. THAT USUALLY TRANSLATES TO SELF SACRIFICE!" • "Talking to dead royals again... That's never a good sign." • "AYEEE ROLFE LONG TIME NO SEE." • "YASSS AELIN. YASSS LYSANDRA." • "Ok.... Rowan, JUST DO IT. AELIN, IF YOU DONT YOULL REGRET IT........not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything..." • "Stupid goddesses trying to screw stuff up." • "YASSSSS LYSANDRA!!" • "Oh gods... Not again. STAHP. ON A FLIPPING BEACH???? BECAUSE THATS INCONSPICUOUS, ROWAN." *covers eyes and ears* • "DID YOU JUST SAY PREGNANT???" • "Phew... Ok not pregnant." • "This is not good. This is not good." • "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME- SHE DIED JUST TO HAVE TO DIE AGAIN???? FIGHT ME ELENA." • "Why couldn't she have had a normal life???" • "AYE THE BUZZARD FAM IS HERE." • "ROWAN GET TO YOUR DAMN QUEEN." • "um... Wha- NO STAHP. DO NOT TOUCH HER." • "I WILL KILL YOUR AUNT." • "AJSHSGSKDHSVDJXJSM" • "NONONONONONONONO" • "GO FIND YOUR MATE. GO BRING HER HOME. I LIKE YOU NOW. PLEASE GO GET HER." • "If you fail- I'm suing." ToD~ • "All I see is Kale and blah blah blah blah...." • "Maeve is valg- CRAP." • "FIREHEART??? Yes!!!!" • "............never mind. F YOU MAEVE." KoA~ • "I'm too scared to even watch this.... Just find her please!" *sobs*

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thugnan · 5 years ago

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The Haunted Carousel (PC 2003)

Story: 8/10

Characters: 9/10

Puzzles: 8/10

Chores:8/10

Final Rating: 8/10

This is another game I always come back to because I can get through it within a couple of hours. The setting is so fun and it was well executed, a haunted amusement park that didn’t try too hard to be scary. They world wasn’t as big as Ghost Dogs, but it worked really well in my opinion and the characters are some of the more memorable ones in the series. The history they tied into the game was interesting and unique. The puzzles (i.e. the arcade games you have to play to move the plot forward) aren’t too difficult or annoying like some of the later games (looking at you at Trail of the Twister).

Plot (spoilers obviously)

Thug Nan is back at it again with the sleuthin, Paula Santos, is a friend of your fathers and owns an amusement park, how fun! Except there’s a whack ghost carousel that be a haunting. Thug Nan ain’t about that supernatural bs tho, and neither is Paula so we best be investigating.

The carousel isn’t the biggest problem on the table, it’s the rollercoaster that stopped mid-ride and gots the park shut down. Paula is being sued and that’s not cool.

You get straight to work and meet:

Harlan Bishop: It takes a thug to spot a thug, I don’t buy his “I’m just a security” story. Brother has done time. I know it and he knows it. He’s the current park security, extremely eager to help out and extremely Brooklyn, many much Brooklyn. He even took a pay cut to work at the park. He hooked a homie up with a fun pass to the arcade, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have my eye on him.

Joy Trent: My precious Joy, I have clear bias when it comes to this child. She could do no harm. Everyone describes her as boring but I love her. She’s the park’s bookkeeper, she only got the job because her dad, Daryl Trent used to own the park with Paula. He wasn’t the greatest with money however, and died broke af. My wonderful Joy obvs has all kind of childhood trauma but shh es okay, we can work it out together.

Paula: Daryl Trent was p bad with money

Also Paula: *hires his daughter as a bookkeeper*

Ingrid: She’s the chief engineer who hustles essential oils on the side. I don’t understand how a woman of science can buy into the “curse” shizz, but whatever. She reads auras and pawns off all her actual engineer work on me. Can’t say I’m crazy about her. She blames the curse on the person who stole a super vintage horse from the carousel.

Elliot Chen: Homeboy gives a bad name to us artsy types. He’s the park’s art director. He procrastinates a ton and never meets his deadlines, which yes that is me but R O O D of you to assume. The park being shut down is awfully convenient for him.

Tink: He operates the Carousel normally, but rn he’s on vacation in Canada, which you would think would be more suspicious, but no one questions it.

Whilst investigating you discover:

that the person who built the stolen horse (Rolf Kessler) was super famous and his horses are considered priceless or something

during a previous heist from the hotel next to the park, the thieves involved stashed moula all over the park.

the horse that was stolen was a replica, so jokes on whoever stole it.

Rolf Kessler was an artist and by default filled with angst and many much suffering. His waifu died of TB and he disappeared off the grid shortly thereafter.

During all this, you get in touch with Detective Perris, who was the original detective in charge of the hotel heist. It was partially unsolved and he gives you some dirt on one of the peeps that was arrested for the crime. He died in prison, but his cellmate was from brookyln… SUSPICIOUS

Naturally, this means we gotsa snoop on Mr. Bishop. HOME BOY HAS AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIS PAROLE OFFICER, BRUH DID I CALL IT OR WHAT? It’s okay Harlan, Thug Nan has also done time in Alibi in Ashes, cos we ball hard.

More important than this new information, is my girl Joy. We are going on a journey to rediscover her childhood. And I can’t think of a more romantic wholesome way of getting to know each other. We do this with the help of Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine, which is a robot/toaster oven that Joy’s dad built her (I think I forgot to mention that her dad was an ‘inventor’), whose sole purpose is to remember things for Joy, because the passing of her mom was so traumatic that she blocked everything from her childhood behind a wall of extreme blandness.

This. is. Perfect. The fanfiction is writing itself. Thug Nan also lost her mom as a child and now they’re connecting. What was I supposed to be doing again?

Oh right! Our love will have to wait Joy, I gots a mystery to solve.

While you’re helping Joy recover her memories you also learn:

Mr. Bishop has been spying on Ingrid, but this helps you break into Ingrid’s office.

Ingrid is ballin, like more than engineer money balling. It’s also implied that she’s in cahoots with the guy suing the park.

Elliot is buying a lot of wood for no apparent reason, and horse tails, like if he were building a carousel kinda deal. Weird yes?

Anyway Thug Nan is really prioritizing this Joy soul searching project. But then… B E T R A Y A L. Joy confesses to having stopped the rollercoaster that caused the park to shut down. How could she? How could she do this to us? She says she had a lot of pent up resentment after the death of her father and thought Paula didn’t deserve his half of the park. I will be the first to admit that this girl has baggage, but I STILL BELIEVE. We will get thru it.

We still don’t know who is responsible for the ghost carousel. We also accuse Ingrid of being in cahoots with the guy suing the park, and she’s not lying to us but I still don’t like her. Allegedly her monies is coming from her “designing a roller coaster”, likely story.

WHATEVER, I’m gonna finish the epic side quest of figuring out Joy’s backstory and making her love me. I honestly don’t know why we’re still at the park, I think Paula only cared about the roller coaster bit? I’m just saying that a carousel that turns on at night ain’t harming anyone. If anything she’s getting major publicity.

We find out that Joy’s mom bought her a horse off the carousel for her birthday (I feel like that defeats the purpose of the horse but aight), AND SHE DIED THAT SAME DAY. Holy cow that’s harsh. We’re able to track down the location of the horse, which conveniently has the jewels from the hotel heist years ago, and a picture of Joy’s mom. Let’s just say that homie can get it too.

Incidentally, we stumble into Rolf Kessler’s workshop in the midst of this. We totally solved this mystery on accident, cool. But yeah we find the horse that was stolen (yeah, did I forget to mention that it was a different horse, I also had a hard time keeping track of the horses) and discover that someone has been making replicas and selling them on the black market. They’re been using the hype from the “hauntings” to up the value.

The game tries to be sneaky by not dropping names here, but we all know who it be behind this…. Elliot. Naturally, in classic Nancy Drew fashion, he tries to murder(?) us, but we best him and the day is saved by Thug Nan, once again. Joy call me.

THE END.

#nancy drew games #her interactive #midnight in salem countdown #thug nan #ghetto game reviews #plot summary #the haunted carousel

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newagesispage · 6 years ago

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JUNE 2019

PAGE RIB

***** Catch the new stand up: David Cross: Oh Come On

***** There is no more smoking at Disney.

***** Psilocybin mushrooms have been decriminalized in Denver!!

***** Adam Sandler is touring and he has a new stand up special out: 100% Fresh.

***** The new book, ‘The Castle at Sunset’ is coming. Looks pretty juicy!

***** FORD is cutting about 7,000 jobs.

***** Ben Domenech, Meghan McCain’s hubby did a rant about Seth Meyers after Meyers called her out on his show about some of her comments.

***** Eddie Redmayne is in pre- production on ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7.’ where he plays Tom Hayden.

***** Sexual misconduct news: Alan Dershowitz is being accused by the victim of a former client.

***** Steak n Shake is being sued again. Somebody straighten this out. Will they go out of biz?? It seemed to change when new owners took over.

***** A final rule was issued May 2 by the Department of Health and Human Services that health care workers can’t be compelled to participate in medical care that disagrees with their religion or conscious. Fuck You Patients!

***** Martin Scorsese, Brian Grazer and Ron Howard are bringing us’ Once were brothers.’ This will be the telling of RobbieRobertson’s truth about The Band.

***** Is this true? One of the reasons the USPS is struggling so bad is that senators voted to make them pre pay pensions?

***** The NRDC night of comedy with Seth Meyers, John Oliver, Tiffany Haddish, Hasan Minhaj, Sarah Silverman, John Mulaney and others raised 1.7 mil for environmental protection.

***** Edwin Hiatt was arrested for the murder of Barry Crane. Crane was a champion bridge player as well as a director and producer of such shows as Mannix, Dallas, The Incredible Hulk and Hawaii Five-0 among others.

***** Visit the site of The Alliance for lifetime income that is sponsoring the Stones No Filter tour.

***** CBS is shaking it up. Word is that the morning show will be hosted by Gayle King, Tony Dukoupil and Anthony Mason. John Dickerson will move to 60 minutes and Norah O’Donnell will anchor the CBS evening news where she’ll be perfect. What took them so fucking long??

***** Days alert: Stephen Nichols is returning as Patch.** Word is also that Tony and Anna are headed back. Best news ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kristen may be back. So, more possibly coming back from the dead.. Will, Nicole, Jack.. None of these people are what they seem, they just aren’t quite themselves. Brainwashed? Plastic surgery on others? Fake faces? It could be any old soap opera trick. Was the whole burning building a set up? What do Rolf and Rex have to do with this? How is it all connected? ** I am really glad that Mel and Haley are gaining story. Keep it coming. Love the pairings going on. JJ and Haley have such chemistry as do Ben and Ciara, of course.** Is Xander really Victor’s son?? Ok.. ! fake face so far with Nicole.** LET’S GIVE RORY A REAL STORY!!!!!

***** So much entertainment is bringing Trumptopia to their universe. People seem so upset and genuinely scared and they have to get it out and put their take on it.

***** Marie Osmond takes Sara Gilberts chair at The Talk.

***** Arnold Schwarzenegger was attacked by a man in South Africa.

***** Chris Hemsworth and Tiffany Haddish will star in Paramount’s buddy movie, Down Under Cover.

***** Support the National Popular Vote Compact for the Electoral College.

***** Country House @ 65-1 won the Kentucky Derby after a historic disqualification of first winner, Maximum Security. There was also much controversy before the race after 23 horses have died at Santa Anita.

***** So to be clear that we are on the same page: Obstruction is impeding or attempting to impede for a corrupt purpose like helping yourself. Even the parts of the Mueller report that we can see show obstruction. Also, If the statute of limitations are about to run out, an indictment can be made and sealed against a sitting President. The case would be prosecuted after he is out of office. So let’s quit fucking around.** Republican Rep. from Michigan, Justin Amash urges action on our President. He writes that Trump has been engaged in specific actions and a pattern of behavior that meet the threshold for impeachment. He actually read the report.** Why does it seem that the ‘Great again’ and ‘Taking it back’ conservative family value crowd often turn out to be doing the shady stuff behind our backs?

***** Mueller finally spoke and seemed to reinforce both sides. He is leaving his post but the Grand jury investigation chugs along.** A Federal judge ordered all Mike Flynn passages in the Mueller report to be made public.

***** The McCain naval vessel and Japan?? Really??

***** The President is tweeting agreement with North Korea about Joe Biden? That is about right.** Scary Clown also stormed out of a meeting after Pelosi was talking about his cover up earlier in the day. The signs for his little ‘impromptu’ press conference that he ran to were already set up.

***** So the WH seems to be telling everyone not to testify before congress. No more rules. I suppose the time has come that we can do whatever we want and there will be no consequences. It is good to know we can all fight subpoenas till the bitter end, it opens up a whole can of worms. Really this is all about seeing how far they can go, what can they get away with??

***** The Pentagon has diverted 1.5 billion from various defense department funds for his wall. The money earmarked for training troops and equipping our forces is apparently better used for the border. ** Congress has now threatened to take away the defense department’s ability to move money around. There is usually consultation but they are, of course, ignoring it.**

***** Jared wants a merit based system for the illegals. So, we want to bring immigrants into the country that will take all of the good jobs? I do not understand this family, they want a wall so nobody gets in, they want immigrants to work at Mar A Lago to service them and now they want only people qualified to work high end jobs.** Kushner’s real estate company has gotten about $800 mil in federal loans.

***** At this point Trump’s 225 days of golf have cost us $122 mil and he is making money for his resorts every time.

***** Theresa May is out.

***** Kim Jong Un’s top aide is said to have been put in hard labor. North Korea also executed Kim Hyok Chol and four foreign ministry officials in March after the Trump summit charged with espionage.

***** Mexico is getting a 5% tariff.

***** Native Americans are being killed by police officers at a higher rate than anybody else.

***** Fuck dementia.. Just TRIP!!

***** Manafort’s condo in Trump tower is being put up for auction as the Government takes possession.

***** The New Haven documentary film fest is running a 7 film retrospective of Michael Moore’s work this month.

***** A new report says that the EPA has been ordered to get thousands of deaths “off the books” by altering the way they calculate the risks of air pollution.

***** Ben Carson will never live down his ‘OREO’ moment. If there wasn’t enough proof that people without a clue have been put in charge, this is it. Supporters have to be pretty stupid to think it is a good idea for the stupid people to be in charge. What is so wrong with smart people, not crafty, slick people, I mean smart people who know how to actually solve problems and come up with good ideas? I can’t help but think of an Uncle in our family called Mort. There was much talk when I was a child of Mort being so smart and quiet. When he came to family gatherings he would sit in the corner and read and learn instead of socializing. I always wondered why they thought that was wrong. I was so envious of him. I realize that isn’t exactly on the same page but smart is good.** One day after Carson’s ‘testimony’ there was a new proposal to HUD’s equal access rule. It would allow federally funded homeless shelters to consider sexual and gender identity, privacy, safety, practical concerns and religious beliefs when deciding if they want to accommodate someone.

***** The Harriet Tubman $20 bill will be delayed for circulation until possibly 2028. Scary Clown has always criticized the move and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin says that Andrew Jackson will remain on the bill for now.

***** The costuming on HBO’s The Young Pope is so fucking awesome.

***** Former WH chief of staff John Kelly has joined the board of Caliburn International. This conglomerate operates facilities that hold the detained immigrant children in our country.

***** Matt Smith stars in ‘Charlie Says’ in the latest incarnation of Manson.

***** Hooray for Chobani!! The company is paying off school lunch debt in Rhode Island for students so they don’t have to eat jelly sandwiches.

***** Bill De Blasio is running for President.

***** Gene Simmons of KISS gave a press briefing at the Department of Defense.

***** Citrus farmers are using antibiotics to fight bacteria in crops. Health officials are afraid this could fuel antibiotic resistance in us.

***** Sen. Michael Bennett is running for President.** He said that his Mother found out he was running from the newspaper. There was some talk about Jello when he was interviewed on Seth Meyers.

***** The Chief Pig compared Mayor Pete to Alfred E. Neuman. Pete said he was glad that he inspired the President to make a literary reference, even though the Mayor was too young to know the reference.

***** There is a Variety series : Actors on Actors. See the one with Jason Bateman and Bill Hader. Yeow. oh to be the cream in that Oreo. Can I say that in the Me Too era? Are there reverse problems with that??

***** For Putin, things started off as a mountain and ended up being a _____. He is laughing at this country every day.

***** ‘The Quiet One’, a doc about Bill Wyman is here.

***** Matthew Modine is running for SAG AFTRA president. He is getting endorsements from Ed Asner, Vincent D’Onofrio, Mira Sorvino, Nancy Sinatra, Patricia and Rosanna Arquette, Sean Astin, Ernie Hudson, Alfred Molina and Bill Mumy.

***** The Cool Kids was cancelled. BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?? Their September debut was the most watched Friday broadcast comedy debut in almost 6 years.

*****Empire will end after season 6.

***** The Daytime Emmys didn’t do much for Days after all those noms. Kyler Pettis was the only winner. I was happy for GH’s Max Gail. CBS Sunday Morning won best morning program. There has been some controversy over some of the regulations and some tv shows threatened to boycott. At one point, Patrika Darbo had an Emmy revoked. There was some stunning fashion. My faves were Annika Noelle, Jaqueline Macinnes Wood, Camila Banus, Lexie Stevenson, Linsey Godfrey, Olivia Rose Keegan, Brandon Barash, Carolyn Hennesy and Victoria Konefal.

***** There is some shady business in Wisconsin with Foxconn. The Taiwanese company made big promises with Scott Walker and Trump. They have since been backing out of the manufacturing side of the deal. Republicans want to blame the new democratic Governor but he was warning them about this company way back when. Why are these hucksters always blaming others for the kinds of things they do??

***** HB 1633 in Illinois is a bill to, among other things, make a felony of peaceful protests!! Thanks oil lobbyists!** But, Illinois is making some progress in the right direction on some fronts.. House Bill 1438 was approved by the Senate to legalize possession and sale of weed. At the end of May it passed the house. The bad news is that police already have records of those that use medical marijuana and if they pull you over, they can charge you if you have used any that day. ** The Reproductive Health Act passed which states that an egg, embryo or fetus does not have independent rights and the state can’t deny or restrict reproductive rights.

***** After chickengate, the committee voted to hold Attorney General Barr in contempt of congress. Now it moves on but the contempt can be denied by the DOJ. Rep. from Texas, Sheila Jackson Lee made a great speech and broke it down to show that they were only making a simple request of documents and the WH and Barr will not comply.

***** The WH has been revoking press passes from journalists they do not want there, nearly the entire corp. They granted exceptions for the press they like.

***** Amal Clooney helped to free Reuters journalists, Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe OO from Myanmar. Many other journalists are still being held.

***** A man in Illinois takes old bikes and parts and makes them useable again. He gives them to people in need of transportation. A Morton woman put out a call on the internet to gather old bikes for him and got them beyond her wildest dreams. Way to go!!

***** In Georgia abortions could soon be illegal after 6 weeks. 3 production companies, Blown Deadline productions, Killer Films and Duplass Brothers productions say if that happens they will no longer film in Georgia. Now Alabama has jumped on board with the want to prosecute Doctors. And it goes on with Kentucky, Mississippi, Ohio, Iowa, Louisiana, Utah and North Dakota. The Reich is chipping away at our rights. Why do we keep putting so many conservative men in powerful places?? Why are the 1% ruling the rest of us??** Debbie Harry commented at the ASCAP pop music awards, “I think it’s criminal.”** Some states are saying they may even investigate miscarriages. Why not just follow all ejaculations?? I have had a miscarriage and the last thing I would have needed in my pain was someone investigating me. WTF?

***** Did anybody else the owl clock on American Housewife?

***** John Waters has a new book: Mr. Know it all

***** Letterman is back with his Netflix gig where he will interview Tiffany Haddish, Ellen, Melinda Gates and Kanye West. Doesn’t it seem like our world went crazy after Dave left his CBS show? More Dave! On the talk show rounds he does sort of seem like an old guy holding court but still hot!!!

***** The Wal Mart pick up ad with all the famous rides makes me a little crazy when the lowly Wal Mart employee worker is getting hit by a customer.

***** Liam Neeson will star in The Minuteman.

***** Caterpillar has sent a cease and desist to coffee company Cat and Cloud because of their name.

***** McDonalds is said to be bringing America the best of their international menu this summer for a test drive.

***** The Al Franken podcast is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***** A cancer diagnosis usually ends with 4 in 10 patients depleting their savings.

***** Secretary Amy L. Bedwell was arrested for theft from a parent teacher organization in Illinois. She will go to court for the Riverview grade school incident on June 12.

***** Spielberg’s Amblin tv is severing ties with the show Bull. CBS has paid 9.5 mil to settle harassment claims by Eliza Dushku against Michael Weatherly.

***** The Met Gala was at its best with wonderful camp looks from Harry Styles, Lady Gaga, Billy Porter, Janelle Monae, Zendaya , Laverne Cox, RuPaul, Darren Criss, Ashley Graham, Dua Liba, Natasha Lyonne and Lupita N’yongo.

***** August will bring us John Goodman and Danny McBride as part of a televangelist family in The Righteous Gemstones.

***** Cannes person of the year in entertainment award this year is Lorne Michaels.

***** New show, Bluff City Law looks pretty good even though we really don’t need another lawyer show.

***** Mick is back at it and new dates have been set for the Stones tour which will begin June 21 in Chicago!!!!!!

***** The Illinois department of corrections have not been able to account for 3, 568 items in a recent audit.

***** Ava Duverney has made a movie that needed to be made about the Central Park 5.

***** There is a helium shortage.

***** Steve Kroft of 60 minutes is retiring.

***** Director Bong Joon-Ho’s ‘Parasite’ has won the Palme d’or at Cannes.

***** Duff Mcagan has a new solo album with help from Shooter Jennings.

***** Conan has settled a lawsuit over joke theft. A blogger claimed that his writers had stolen 4 jokes from his blog. The jokes were not that unique and there are so many hundreds of similar jokes out there anymore with the crazy news cycle and so many late night hosts and on liners. Conan wrote about hs odyssey in Variety.** Conan also wrote a theme song for NPR news.

***** Mike Pompeo seems happy that when the ice caps melt there will be new, easier to travel trade routes. So, do you think it is a hoax or are they really melting?

***** Jessica Chastain and Andrew Garfield will pay Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker in a biopic.

***** Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost are engaged.

***** Meghan Markle and Prince Harry brought us 7 lb. 3 oz. Archie Harrison Mountbatten Windsor.

***** R.I.P. Peter Mayhew, 9 gray whales, Kendrick Castillo, Jim Fowler, Doris Day, Sammy Shore, Alvin Sargent , Tim Conway , Ron Hiatt, all the children who keep dying in our custody , victims of the Virginia Beach shooting, John Pinto and Peggy Lipton.

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