#what is this broooooooooooooo

[footballshowrot]

i think i hauve covid

[deyasworld]

@aduah

Anyone have official vatican-sanctioned anime mascot of the Catholic church on their 2024 bingo?

[kryptonian-tree]

universe give me a job or i’ll kill myself :D

[sugaggukkie]

I WATCHED THE FUCKING AMYGDALA MUSIC VIDEO AND BRO

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

(spoilers for ep 9 Thomas route) BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭

Thomas: Have you ever felt like you don't belong in your place?

Candy: Yes, I've felt that...

Thomas: Then, you understand what I'm talking about. For me it was always like that. Everywhere. And when I was like five or six years old, I've convinced myself that I would feel like this anywhere I went on Earth. So logically, I belonged somewhere else. But I didn't exactly knew where... That's when I started to be curious about the millions of other worlds around us.

Candy: (He says this calmly, and I can't help but feel a lump on my throat just by listening to him talk about this)

Thomas: Now I come here mostly because of nostalgia. And the stars keep their mystery, their magic... Since I joined Devenementiel, I've had a much dominant feeling of belonging. I felt it too since I met you. I've never brought anyone here before.

[makoodles]

*Ahem*

Jake likes being on the receiving end of some good ol’ dumbification. Whether it be by his best friend of forever and mate, Reader, or his first mate and the mother to his children, Neytiri, Jake absolutely goes feral if he’s treated like he’s stupid. Talk to him in a patronizing and condescending tone, he loves it.

You’re asking if he knows about Archimedes' Principle of Buoyancy? Of course not, he’s a stupid himbo.

Bernoulli who? Jake doesn’t know them, you should scold him about his pea-sized brain.

Fourier's Law of Heat Conduction? What’s that? Can Jake eat it?

In short, Jake lives for when you make him feel stupid.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

-🐋 anon

HORNY THOUGHTS HORNY THOUGHTS HORNY THOUGHTS HORNY THOUGHTS

BROooooooOOOoooo bimbo jake makes my mouth water i'm ?? jesus i'm sweating

imagine double teaming him with neytiri? i just KNOW he'd be whimpering!!

[girljeremystrong]

broooooooooooooo what the hell lol

[ghostlyplug]

Broooooooooooooo you should put an actual pfppppppppppp I feel like I’m always talking to a bot 😭😭😭

Idk what pfp to do but i definitely need one🙏🙏i’ll start looking

[stargazinglesbian]

i sent my best friend a tiktok... AND SHE SENT THE EXACT SAME ONE BACK TO ME FIVE MINUTES LATER LIKE BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DID I DO TO YOU???????????

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

AYO WHAT THE HELL NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

dally can’t close his eyes at night. gunshots reverberate in his mind and flashes of red and blue fill his eyes. the image of someone’s body—the body of someone far too young to be so bloody—limply falling to the hard ground replays in his mind. the maroon seeps into the crevices of the concrete in the alleyway and sears itself into dally’s mind like a tattoo being inked into his soul. he tosses and turns, an empty buzzing of a dead light in his room filling the emptiness and silence in his room. silence isn’t a thing for him anymore, he forgets what it sounded like.  silence fills him with pain and sorrow and it makes him feel a loneliness that only crawls through his body in the darkest of nights where even the goddess of the moon weeps behind the thick clouds that cover her.

if dally closes his eyes at night, no longer can he escape the terrors that plague his brain, that plague his heart, that plague his ability to be anything close to what one would consider “normal”. he lost that perception of himself when the cold metal of the handcuffs strangled his wrists and forced his hands behind his back for a crime he didn’t commit. the red and blue that flashed and covered the walls of the buildings as the sirens screamed in the background burned the awful day into his memory. he doesn’t even remember where the actual criminals went, just that he was suddenly considered one.

as he stares at the ceiling, days of the past flash in his mind and he rolls over before the white paint resembles the concrete of the prison cell too much. it hurts when he closes his eyes at night, so he’ll stay up for a million all-nighters until he passes out if it means he won’t see a replay of his own brother’s blood swallowing the white in the shirt he was wearing. dally quickly sits up, drinking from the bottle of water that he has to keep on the side of his bed in case he blinks and falls asleep, awaking in a cold sweat. the nightmares become more frequent now as he grows, weighing on his brain and convincing himself it’s his fault. he should have been there sooner. he bites his lip and takes his pendant in his hand, hearing a gentle “click!” echo through the small room.

when he thinks too hard, he ends up forgetting his mother’s features, which is a thought that makes his heart begin to pound. he’s already forgotten her voice, he wonders how long ago he would have forgotten her bright eyes that had nothing but love in them. his smile is all that matches with her. he glances to his brother—who’s nearly a carbon copy of his mother—and feels his heart ache for the open eyes he couldn’t protect from the coldness of the world. he feels an emptiness force itself into him, making him wonder if he truly does deserve this second chance to protect. he’s already screwed it up and a scar is on the face of the boy dally swore to himself he’d keep from harm.

dally can’t close his eyes at night, night is when his brain is alive and it tortured him. his brain keeps him second-guessing every single choice he’s made in his life, every action that may have brought him here. he grabs a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand and lights it. perhaps they’ll help speed up the process for him to go where he truly belongs, which is not a place that allows him to close his eyes at night. nothing but pain ever follows him, though never inflicted on himself, so perhaps one day when dally closes his eyes at night, they won’t open for the sun and bright blue skies that taunt him.

Broooooooooooooo…

[3-lavender]

Broooooooooooooo I don’t know what to feel rn. I don’t even know what to think. Literally so much is going through my mind right now

[ws20m]

killing myself broooooooooooooo what is wrong eith you pls........

[anon-e-has-a-tmblr]

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW DID I NOT REALIZE OUR BIRTHDAYS ARE CLOSE WHAT

Wait OUR BIRTHDAYS ARE CLOSE???????

[k-kizkhalifa]

episode 10 --

okay i want you all to know how much i struggled to wait to watch this! i was gonna watch it at the gym, today, but like i have a feeling this is A BIG EPISODE SO I FORCED MYSELF TO WAIT UNTIL I WAS HOME AND COULD TYPE OUT MY EXACT THOUGHTS AS THEY HAPPEN.

alright here we go: shion and rei being domestic.

ALRIGHT LOL AT SHION: im a good boy. but if you wanna be a bad boy.... REI: IM A BAD BOY.

damn rei you are fkn whipppppped. awe man shion is soooo in love with rei. ugh. i pray for the best. i really do. (i know that one anon be acting like im so hard on rei and shion, i just think there was more to be desired from rei based on his age.)

ALRIGHT OPENING SCENE. YES. I ALSO FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. THE SCENE WITH EIJI AND THE STARE AT ASH, HIM IN THE EYE. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. GETS ME EVERYTIME. -- OH I MEAN, MAO and HISASHI. (okay it was a joke.)

OH ITS HISASHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh look how beautiful he is. im crying. not hisashi being jealous. awe look at him. bro that was a year ago! damn hiashi was in love back then.

mao is so soft and cute. aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the first name thing. I LOVE THIS. ALRIGHT IM PAUSING SO I DON'T MISS ANYTHING. I just... wow. their cute banter and comfortableness. the giggles as they laugh. just ugh they're so cute!

omg mao with the "forever and ever" moment.

alright jin is outside meeting ichikawa. LMFAO NOT THEM DOING A BACK DOOR DEAL FOR BL. BROOOOOOOOOOOOoo. YOU'RE DATING YOU FKN IDIOTS. also, ugh, here we go ichikawa being a fkn drama queen. bro chill. its manga. we get it you lvoe some angst.

the commercial. LMFAO.

not jin demanding they see each other. good lord. tahnk god he stopped talking about manga. awe the hands <3 okay not ichikawa saying: call me anytime, i'll come see you.

alright i'll forgive your rant. for now.

AHHHHHHHHH SHION FELL ASLEEP AND ALL HE WANTED WAS A DAMN MOMENT WITH REI. (I feel like i have to clarify i am not dogging rei for this, i am just expressing my feelings. i feel like that anon got me nervous you all think i hate rei.)

oh shion is such a cutie guy. awe rei and the apology. shion thinking it's adorable. SAY SOMETHING SHION. OKAY THANK YOU. oh, can't say i am shocked that rei got the kiss in.

HISASHI IS BACK. oh him and mao are so adorable. OH THE PICTURE IS SO PRETTY!

oh goodness not hiashi trying to get it in, after, clearly, a night of getting it in and mao being like, "we've done it so much!" alsjdfalskjfalskjf BROOOOO. YOU'RE YOUNG AND IN LOVE. enjoy the feeling mao, please. enjoy that.

omg it's been 3 months!

BRO I KNOW ICHIKAWA IS ABOUT TO LOSE HIS SHIT TO LOSING TO JIN. alsjflasjdflaskjdf

lol mao is the responsible one. lmfao.

awe their date!

gawwwwwwwwh mao is just so in love with this man. i will fk him up if he hurts mao. i am not EVEN PLAYING ABOUT THIS.

mao: i like him. he makes my heart tingle. i would do anything for him. WAIT HISASHI DOES EVERYTHING! I WANNA DO NAUGHTY THINGS TO HIM!

sweet mao. you'll learn. (you know me by now i love when the uke gets some sexual confidence! *cue me pushing misaki*)

yeah mao you're asking those questions about the future and stuff and and i wanna know the answer to bc i am SCARED MY HEART IS GOING TO GET RIPPED OUT.

oh no mao is hiding them so much. i feel like hiashi is gonna ask for more from this eventually. ugh Y'ALL I AM SOOOOO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO MY BOYS?!?!?!?

awe hiashi and the recharge line. awe.

WHAT?! THATS THE EPISODE?! THAT'S ALLL!??!?!?!?!? I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MORE?????????? FK MAN. I AM NOT HAPPY.

oh this scene about the upload. is.... intense. lol at hisashi not being interested in all the request. but also i'd love for mao to get jealous of the interest. okay?!

okay next episode. OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD IT'S GOT OUR BOYS IN IT. WHEW I WAS NERVOUS AS FUCK.

ALSO IS "THE RED THREAD" NAME A MENTION AT THE SOULMATE THEORY?! WHY AM I SO NERVOUS FOR THIS TO END??????????????????????????

[campingwiththecharmings]

;lkfs;dkfdl;kgf;lgk broooooooooooooo omg 🫠🫠🫠🫠

'Did you keep what I left inside you?' <- excuse me but you cannot even imagine the scream i scrumpt when i read this i mean. only jake could make stabbing someone sexual istg.

oh fuckkk that dream sequence tho 🥵

Without another thought, you reached into your nightstand drawer for the knife he left inside you. <- not me thinking she was going for her vibe as;dlks;lkdfl;kg

"Can you see me?" You panted, repulsed with yourself, but so close, rubbing the blunt end of the knife faster and faster over your clit as you shoved your fingers as deep as they would go. <- I'M

Jake pulled the lid from the box and almost choked. It was his knife. Something had...dried on the handle, along with what he could only assume was still your blood on the blade. And there was a handwritten note. 'I came on it.'

LSKDFDL;FKGLDF;KGL;FGK JFC

3 Times Jake Lockley Tried to Kill You and 1 Time He Saved Your Life

Part 1 of 4 - Knife

Miniseries Masterlist || Main Masterlist || next

Pairing: Jake Lockley x f!reader

Summary: Jake has been hired to assassinate you - the daughter of Chicago's most powerful and corrupt man

Or: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Word Count: 2.5k

Content: nsfw, mdni, more below the cut, READ the warnings. Dead dove - you will get what is warned!

There is no non-con in this fic, but it's dark in the sense that the reader IS in real danger from Jake. Violence, language, stalking, blood, knife play, also actual knife use - like for its intent - stabbing, danger, sexy dreams, glove kink, masturbation, not beta'd

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

The second time Jake saw you up close, he darkly chuckled to himself at how easy of a mark you were.

Everyone in his line of work knew who you were - the beautiful daughter of the most powerful man in the city. And your father had endless enemies.

Including the one who hired Jake to take you out. Jake's boss was a lot of things, but he wasn't stupid. To assassinate the most powerful mob boss' only daughter required someone removed from the situation. Someone professional. Invisible.

Jake wasn't stupid either. There wasn't enough money in this city to lure him into crossing your father.

No, this was plain, old fashioned revenge. So maybe Jake's boss was stupid - this was personal, for Jake anyway.

So tonight, as he saw you walking out of a club with your girlfriends, your inept bodyguards flanking you, he sneered.

You had style - that, Jake had to admit. Your dress fit you like a glove, but landed an inch or so longer than your obvious minions’ skirts. The girls around you were trying too hard. You didn’t have to.

They flocked to your power and your money (or your father's), but the attempt was desperate, at best.

But you held yourself with a self-assurance and something Jake had no idea he was interested in until he'd started tailing you: class.

Your eyes shone as your laughter rang out into the night. You must’ve been a little tipsy, if the glow of your cheeks was any indication.

The bodyguards - who Jake mentally referred to as Dumb and Dumber - ushered the small group of you into a waiting car.

Jake thought about it: driving you. Using his day (or night) job to get close to you. Too complicated. You had a faithful driver, well paid, who had shuttled you around the city practically all your life. Then, of course there were Dumb and Dumber and the other girls to...dispose of.

So no driving. Not this time.

You rarely ventured out alone, but Jake had discovered your quietest moments. You lived in a hotel, actually - one of your father's - in a penthouse, with, at least, adequate security.

So, no home invasion. That made Jake feel like a creep anyway, and he wasn't a creep. He was a professional.

He found the easiest access to you would likely come during one of your early morning jogs in the park, or while you liked to shop or run errands during the day.

In fact, he walked right by you just yesterday.

That was the first time he saw you up close.

You were even more beautiful up close.

Yesterday, he simply wanted to see if Dumb and Dumber would notice how close he got. He was also checking out the lack of security cameras in the park.

He had to do this right. And even then, he would flee afterward. He hated this city anyway.

Fucking Chicago. Every horrible thing in his life went wrong in this city. New York never treated him so poorly. And besides, the alter in his head preferred life across the pond. So, finishing this job would be the perfect excuse to never return.

So the next morning, he arrived in the park before sunrise. Sure enough, you came jogging round the corner, an unsafe number of strides ahead of Dumb and Dumber. Or...it was only Dumber this time. One bodyguard? Seriously, this was too easy.

All it took was a gloved hand around your mouth and a knife to your ribs to get you where he wanted you, into the dense thicket, away from prying eyes.

You struggled, but Jake’s experience won out. He used the tip of his knife to inflict the slightest twinge of pain.

"I can make this almost painless," he breathed on your ear.

You whimpered, angry with yourself for going limp in his arms as you felt the pinch of pain in your ribs.

However, you're weren't stupid either. If he wanted to kill you, he would have dragged that blade across your jugular with your mouth still covered. You would bleed out silently and he would have plenty of time to escape before your bodyguard found you.

His annoying poke to your ribs and striking up a conversation meant he wanted something else and that's why you shuddered. This was a kidnapping or an assault. Or he was a sick freak who wanted to play with his food first.

He whirled you around and pushed you up against a tree, crowding in front of you, with your mouth still covered.

The tree's bark scraped against your bare legs, but cold, dark eyes which - under different circumstances, might have captivated you - momentarily distracted you.

Distinguished nose - mouth set in a thin line, strong, square jaw with a beard - well kempt. Dark brown curls peeked out of a flat cap. He almost looked like something out of the 1930's when you really thought about it.

Which...given the circumstances, why in the hell were you thinking about his looks?

Finding your courage, you tried to speak against his gloved hand. He positioned the knife at your throat - finally a more useful spot - and breathed against your cheek. "Scream and it'll be your last word, doll."

You nodded quickly, trying to blink back the moisture in your eyes. Your father was going to end this asshole, but you might suffer mightily first.

Slowly, Jake removed his hand, keeping it close to your mouth in case you got any ideas.

"Why didn't you just cut my throat?" You gasped, your chest heaving, drawing his eyes momentarily down to the fit of your sports bra and your chest, glistening with a light sheen of sweat.

"Are you offering suggestions?" One dark eyebrow shot up, almost comedically.

"It would be the quickest and quietest way," you confessed, shrugging one shoulder. "I'm just trying to see what I'm in for. You want me to beg or something? Cry? Just tell me and get it over with."

Jake chucked.

Oh. So he was a condescending asshole. Awesome.

Still, he didn't taunt you or threaten you, which probably meant ... damn it.

"Aw hell, you're a pervert then?" You scoffed. "I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're hoping."

That puzzled your captor, but only for a moment. " - no," he scoffed. "That's not something I have to...coerce."

You rolled your eyes, but made sure to keep still because that knife tip was starting to dig into your throat. "I'm sure you're a real catch. Just get this over with. My bodyguard will be here soon."

The corner of Jake's mouth curled. "Trust me, I'm not worried about him."

You shivered slightly, realizing he'd done his homework. "What do you want?" You managed, a little more desperately than you were hoping to sound.

"Revenge," he evenly responded

You locked eyes and saw honesty there.

You slightly nodded, swallowing hard as his breath ghosted your cheek.

"W-what did I do to you?"

Jake's eyes darkened as he pulled the blade from your throat and positioned it right over your heart.

"Your father killed my brother."

Wetting your lips, you whispered, "I'm sorry. I-I don't know anything about that."

"'Course you don't," Jake sneered. "But your father does."

"So I have to pay for your brother's life with my own?" You hurriedly reasoned. "You think that will make my father suffer the way you have? There's no way. I don't even think he loves me." Your voice was now dripping with panic, but Jake started to admire the way you fired off protests.

"Nice try," Jake scoffed. "Everyone knows you're daddy's pride and joy. You're the only way to his heart."

"Then do it," you spat. "I hate all this Criminal Minds villain discourse bullshit. Just put us both out of our misery."

"Villain?" Jake huffed. "I'm the villain? Your father has corrupted this entire city! And you benefit from every cent and every life he takes. You're the villain - both of you."

"Then what are you fucking waiting for?" You hissed, jerking against him, causing the knife to slip and slice your chest.

"Shit!" You cried out, your hands flying to cover your wound, which was only superficial, but still hurt like hell.

The gloved hand clamped back over your mouth as the knife tip dragged down your sternum to just under your ribs once more. Without hesitation, he pushed the blade into your abdomen.

You screamed into his hand, tears streaming down your face. Your body flamed with searing pain as you went limp in his arms.

"Shhh, shh, sweetheart. It's only enough to slow you down. You'll live. Promise."

And he fucking left you there.

With his knife inside you.

Oh your father was going to crucify this asshole.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

You spent hardly any time at all in the hospital - the wound was so insignificant. Still, you were stabbed so it warranted medical attention and your father was furious. He attempted to double security around you and forbade you from leaving your penthouse.

You indulged him for a day or so but you weren't one to be caged. He'd made your life enough of a living hell. You felt scared all the time, always a pressure point for him - a bargaining chip for his enemies.

You didn't tell him about the bouquet of tulips you received from your attacker, with a note that read, 'Did you keep what I left inside you?'

The next day, gardenias arrived with another note. 'I'll show you how to use it sometime.'

Okay, so maybe you were stupid. Because instead of turning the notes over to your father, or even the police (not likely), you kept them to yourself.

The most intriguing thing about this mystery man was how he was managing to get these flowers and notes past your (obviously shit) security.

You dreamed.

He's pinned you up against the tree. His gloved hand applies pressure to your throat. The tip of his knife blade traces lightly over your bottom lip, before he drags it down the smooth column of your throat. He trails down your chest, raking it between your breasts before slicing right through your sports bra. Your breasts spring free and his eyes darken. He grazes your nipple with the blade - the cool metal electrifying your peak, making it go stiff.

His grip on your throat loosens as he pushes gloved fingers up over your jaw and slips his leather clad digits into your mouth. His eyes find yours again as you obediently suck without being asked.

He pushes his fingers to the back of your throat, gagging you, which makes him smirk.

Then he surprises you by taking his hand out of your mouth and pushing the hilt of the knife into your palm.

"Hold this for me, baby," he instructs, roughly shoving his sopping wet glove - wet with your spit - into your tight leggings, slipping them between your already soaked folds.

Your hand shakes as you realize you have the power - you have the knife and you can get away. You can hurt him back, like he hurt you.

Without another thought, you jab the knife into his side, even as his gloved thumb circles your clit.

"That's my girl," he pants as blood pools and spills through his crisp, white dress shirt. You yank the knife back out, puzzled, but your brain is starting to short-circuit from the wildest fingerfucking you've ever experienced.

You try to whisper his name, wondering if he'll be okay, but you realize - you don't even know his name. You have no inkling whose fingers are stuffed inside your cunt, even as you grind down on his palm, riding his glove like a toy.

You woke up covered in sweat, slick heat pooled between your legs even as your belly filled with shame.

Without another thought, you reached into your nightstand drawer for the knife he left inside you.

You yanked your nightgown aside, gently running the cool metal over your nipples, just the way he'd done in your dream.

You shoved your fingers into your mouth, just like he had, and once they were sopping you slid them into your silky panties and rubbed your clit furiously.

"Oh god," you moaned, writhing, carefully scraping the knife across your other nipple before a nasty idea formed. You used the knife handle and pushed it down over your clit with two fingers of the opposite hand stuffed inside you.

You felt wrong - disgusted with yourself. The man wasn't being sexy - this wasn't some fantasy of a dangerous man in the woods. He had no interest in you. He threatened you - stabbed you, for fuck's sake. Who knew what else he was capable of? He could've taken advantage of your body or sliced your throat.

And now he'd sent the flowers and messages. So he was probably a stalker. This would escalate and be dragged out, just like you'd wanted to avoid.

He was probably watching you right now.

...which, to your utter shame made you feral.

You moaned so loudly, you were sure your bodyguards would rush in.

"Can you see me?" You panted, repulsed with yourself, but so close, rubbing the blunt end of the knife faster and faster over your clit as you shoved your fingers as deep as they would go.

One more thought of that horrible man plunging his knife in you and your back arched euphorically as a powerful orgasm wracked your body - as good as any with your array of top-of-the-line toys.

As you lay there panting, wondering how you would rid yourself of this shameful new obsession - masturbating to a man who wanted revenge against your father - who attacked you and honestly, showed no real interest in you - you decided you needed a way to reach him.

He was able to get to you somehow, by sending you flowers and notes.

So the next day, you instructed your staff to return a wrapped, sealed box to whomever delivered flowers, and you paid handsomely to make sure the box got back to the sender.

It may never make it to the mystery man, but you had to try.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

"I told you - you can't come back here," Jake scolded the young delivery boy.

"Sorry, mister. That lady gave me a ton of money to bring this to you."

Fortunately, Jake had met up with this little idiot on a street corner and not near where he lived, nor near his car. He also used a false name.

It was risky enough sending things to you, but you got under his skin.

He knew this was all a bad idea. His boss wanted you dead and Jake wanted his revenge for Randall.

But here he was, behaving like a pathetic stalker, sending you flowers and creepy notes, bypassing your security.

And now you sent something back?

Jake pulled the lid from the box and almost choked. It was his knife. Something had...dried on the handle, along with what he could only assume was still your blood on the blade. And there was a handwritten note.

'I came on it.'

next

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Jake Lockley-Centric stories

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