#what is bro doing... and that even looks like a shotgun

[brambletakato]

i was rewatching the nwos vision trailer in preparation and i just realized something

... if that is a gun then they are holding it so HORRIBLY wrong bro doesn't know a thang about gun safety

[honeyydrunk]

nct are such fraternity boy college athletes fuckboys coded it's insane !! everyone i see a video of those men with the homosexual tendencies, vaping addiction, and their athletic garments, it really only cements this theory. their disography and music videos add to this too 😔✋ u know 90's love, universe (let's play ball), alley oop, bad alive eng ver.

can imagine them walking around this elite prestigious campus all loud and obnoxious. they know everyone is looking at them and want to fuck them too. they're chronic drinkers, vapers, cheaters, fuckboys. what would get most students expelled, they do on a tuesday afternoon.

nct are mostly made up of foreigners right? watch them walk around the campus as rich international students, some are here on academic or athletic scholarships they don't need. everything they own is designer. playing the 'sorry my korean isn't so good, can you help me?' card, and what they want help with is you sucking their dick.

the korean members aren't any better. they're every single horrible stereotype you hear of korean hongdae fuckboys. will come up to you all sweet and pretty, but they're horrid.

cw for under the cut: they are toxic males

can literally imagine haechan vaping on the college campus, moaning in the back of the class obnoxiously, and pulling the thing where he jokingly asks for your number ALL THE TIME. going to college parties and getting wasted after 3 drinks idk 🤷 ,,, he'd be so whiny and teasing too. bc obviously he's a rude BITCH but he's so pretty and whiny and flirtatious. he's fucking everything in sight, absolute whore!! his body count is triple his age. he'd genuinely try to suck one of his friends' dick and claim it doesn't mean anything because he has clothes on !! 😔✋ he'd be stroking his dick while you're in the room, whimpering your name. the type to get on his knees and beg for any kind of attention from you..

mark lee starting off being a cute college boy canadian transfer but becomes the NOTORIOUS korean pastor's son fuckboy in like the span of 3 months. he'll act real nice, and that's because he is real nice. being super sweet and asking if you want to get coffee with him and study. and he's so good with his words you'll think that's all it is. but then of course, since he's so good with his words he'll have you blushing and giggling as he takes you back to his apartment and gets your clothes off. talking yapping so much you don't even realise what he has you doing, that you're just another girl he's pulled. he'll still be whispering when his face is in your pussy. telling you how easily you cum. "dang girl, wait a lil' can't you?" implying you're the whore,

YUTA yuta is the entire campus crush. the star football ⚽️ player and the rockstar vocalist in a band. has sex with all the groupies that come to his concerts. he's dragging people up on stage to shotgun them while the guitar break plays. absolute heartbreaker. would definitely kick the ball to your head so that when it hits you, he has to go over check if you're alright, take you up to the nurse and wait with you. he is such a liar, it genuinely hurts. lying all the time and making up words and stories left and right. but he smells like cherries and watery perfume !! he tastes like it too. you'll be coming to all his garage concerts just to see if you'll be the one he takes backstage to fuck after. he's like a god, half the time you don't even realise he's a student like the rest of you. he's just an angel sent to have fun and fuck or smth.

jaemin nah he's horrid. he'll cheat on you, and with his cute smile you'll forgive him instantly. 😔✋ he'll spend a little cash dress you in designer, make you cum until you faint, and tell you how beautiful and perfect you are for him. he will genuinely have you thinking those girls meant nothing to him, theyre just a way to vent his stress and you're the only one he loves. and then bro will say he can't stay the night, as he needs to wake up early for training. you agree, obviously. and he left for another girl's house to fuck her too. when you met him he smelled so sweet, and it was someone else's perfume. each of his girls swear they're his favourite of his, and one day he's planning fucking them all in the same room.

JOHNNY SUH? he would abuse the american transfer student status. he walks around without a shirt, soaking wet, and never get pulled up. he's rich too, got bands on his wrist and multiple cars. going on holidays overseas every chance he get and hosting parties every weekend. when you get drunk at one of them, almost falling off the balcony, someone will come up and help you to a chair. he'll take real good care of you, going above and beyond. so you can't let this guy leave when he's everything you've ever wanted. so you pull yourself onto him and ride him while the party rages on inside. make sure his dick feels so good he'll ask for your number. but you don't know that you're the fifth girl who's thrown herself at him that night.

taeyongie ^-^ he's the prettiest guy you've ever seen. bros too sweet and shy to be handing out with the rest of the neo WHORES. he's the leader of a lot of clubs but he mainly sits in cute little cafes. genuinely he seemed too adorable? to be considered the 'leader' of some horrific ahh fuckboys. until you check twitter and you see someone's reposted his MANY MULTIPLE HE HAS A LOT sex tapes. he's surrounded by ridiculously hot guys and girls, and they're passing him around like a joint, and he's begging to be humiliated. they're making him cum so much he crying. he's stronger than most of them but he's letting himself be thrown around like a doll. absolutely wrecked. looking in the camera with pretty black eyes and a slurred voice before someone shoves a cock back in this throat "am i pretty?" zhong chenle is the epitome of the chinese international student stereotype. he's almost never there, never takes off his sunglasses. he has several of those douyin type baddies trailing after him. "you have nice collarbones and pretty eyes, i like. what's your instagram?" he'll be talking with his friend renjun about what yacht he should buy during class. he can buy your affection simply because he's just that rich. will shove his black card down his pants and tell you there's only one way to get it. buys rolex watches so that he can have it on while he fingers you. dresses you in diamonds and he doesn't want to be paid back in cash. qian kun is there on an academic scholarship, but he doesn't need it. he's just that good, the school begs to have him attend. he's not a fuckboy in the conventional sense but he's just as nasty. he wants to have the perfect girl for him, to bring back to his family. he'll look for the most naive but academic girl he can. he's a manipulator. he's trying to mold you into what he wants. he'll replace your entire wardrobe with designer, but he picked out all the clothes. he'll plan cute dates for you every day, but it's to stop you from hanging out with your skanky friends. he'll buy you a new phone, but he's already added software tech to spy on you. in some essences, even though he's not a fuckboy, he's much worse than one.

jisung, like taeyong, looks so sweet. but he's NASTY. he'll seem too quiet to be hanging out with the rest of the dreamie WHORES. so you don't mind sitting next to him in your lecture. but he's just a mix of all of dream. he's good with his words like mark, and he'll have you agreeing to meet at his place EASY. he's too cute to refuse like haechan and jaemin. and then the renjun part hits, silent and sneaky, he'll be doing everything to make you think you're coming on to him. once he finally has you, he'll make a mess of you like a feral animal, the way you've heard jeno fucks. and you realise he's just like the rest of the dreamies, you shouldn't have thought otherwise. he might actually be worse than all of them.

tell me if u want me to make these like a full post or add more characters IM SO CRAZY DELULU RN SORRY xx !! 💋

[hairyjocktf]

Spring Break

Noah was pissed. Today was supposed to be the beginning of the best spring break ever. He’d planned a week-long trip with his college friends to New York City. They’d had it all lined up- museums, restaurants, sightseeing, it was perfect. But about a week before, Noah’s mom had called and delivered devastating news. They were having a family reunion that week. In rural Florida. Attendance was not optional. She’d bought his ticket already and there was no way out.

The day had arrived, and he solemnly made his way to the airport and flew to Tallahassee. They were meeting at his relatives’ place in the Florida panhandle, in the middle of nowhere. He’d been once as a kid and vowed never to go back. After a two hour drive from the airport he made it, driving up a dirt driveway to the massive, yet ramshackle, house in the forest. The next hour was a blur of greeting extended family, most of whom he barely remembered since they tended to stay out here in the country. After that settled down his mom came up to him, clearly very excited about something.

“Noah! You’re not gonna believe this, but since it’ll be a few more days before everyone’s here, your cousins Chevy and Logan are gonna take you out on a hunting trip! Just for a couple days,” she was nearly bouncing off the ground.

Noah groaned. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He had nothing in common with his cousins, and certainly did not want to spend time alone with them out in the swampy wilderness. His mom was not hearing any complaints from him though, and she dragged him out back to reacquaint him with his cousins. Chevy and Logan were chatting with each other on the patio, beers in hand, decked out in the camo hunting gear Noah assumed they lived and slept in. They were only a couple years older than Noah, but looked quite a bit older compared to the baby faced city boy.

“Ayyy Noah! What’s up, it’s been a while man,” Chevy walked over and gave him a bear hug, spilling some beer on his back.

“Hey Chevy, nice to see you too. I heard you guys were uh, taking me out camping,” Noah said unenthusiastically.

“Not just camping my guy!” Logan butted in, “We’re talking full on country backroads hunting boy’s trip! We’ll show you what you’re missing by being cooped up in the city.”

Noah’s heart sank; it was worse than he’d thought. They were gonna drag him out there and make him hunt? He didn’t like killing anything and worse, having to deal with the aftermath. He put on a forced grin since his mother was right there.

“Wow, that sounds real great guys, I can’t wait,” he said through gritted teeth. His subliminal messages to them were entirely lost.

“Hell yes bro! Here’s a pack with some of our extra hunting clothing, you won’t want a whole suitcase out there,” Chevy said, handing Noah a backpack. “We’ve got some extra gear that should fit you, it’s already in the truck. We’ll leave in 30 minutes, so get yourself ready.”

30 minutes?? That was immediate, he wouldn’t even have time to plead his case to get out of it. Begrudgingly he went back inside to get his stuff together. The next thing he knew, it was time. The boys were out front in their pickup truck, the back full of tents, camouflage gear, and who knows what else. Logan laid on the horn.

“NOAHHHHHH! It’s time to scram, let's get outta here!” Logan shouted over the blaring horn. 

Noah groaned, this was setting the tone for the whole trip. He looked at himself in the mirror, the camo pants and hoodie just looked wrong on him. He for sure didn’t want his clothes getting covered in mud though, so he sucked it up and headed out front. Chevy grabbed his bag and tossed it in the back before climbing in shotgun, leaving Noah in the cramped back seats. And with that, they were off.

“There’s a real nice game area ‘bout an hour, hour and a half from here,” Logan said. “We’ll get in, set up a nice camp, then relax. Then at sunrise we’ll start you off with somethin easy, maybe a deer or boar,” he turned and looked at Noah, grinning. 

Noah bounced around in the back of the truck as Logan drove through the forest on bumpy dirt roads. Chevy had put on some country music up front, and they were practically yelling to have a conversation over it. They tried talking to Noah about what he’d been up to, but Noah was sulking and gave only short answers. The sun was starting to hang low in the sky when they pulled off, offroading through some clear land towards a spot they’d clearly been to before. They stopped at a neat little clearing near a creek. It was objectively a beautiful little spot, but Noah was not in the mood to appreciate it, already swatting at mosquitoes swarming him. 

“Alright man, you ever pitch a tent?” Chevy asked Noah. 

“Uh, no, I haven’t”

“Well here, I’ll help ya out,” he said earnestly. “We’ve already got a well used spot here, so first we just lay out this footprint, and here let’s have you start with the poles.”

Noah fumbled around with the metal poles before eventually getting them together. He was frustrated, why would he ever need to know this? Chevy took the poles and got the tent up while Logan was still unloading the back of the truck.

“Alright we’re nearly done, just gotta secure it with these stakes,” he handed them to Noah. “Just stick these through the corner, make sure they’re deep in the ground now.”

Noah took the stakes and tried pushing them into the dirt, but they only made it about an inch in. He tried scraping the dirt away with his hands but that didn’t help. Chevy tapped his shoulder, holding a mallet as a suggestion. They’d just gotten here and already Noah was annoyed despite his cousin’s encouraging attitude. His hands were covered in dirt too, he hated being dirty! And he had no escape from all of it. He stormed off to the water’s edge in a huff while the other two finished putting their site together. The sun was really setting by then.

“Ey Noah!” Logan called, “Come have a beer with us man! We’ve got some chili cookin’ too, ya gotta eat somethin,” he laughed. Noah sighed. There was no point in sulking the entire trip like this, even if he wanted to. He walked back over and pulled a beer out of the cooler they’d brought and sat down.

“It seems his highness has decided to grace us with his presence,” Chevy mocked. Noah chuckled. He’d make it through this, even if it took all the beer in that cooler. The boys ate dinner and talked as the sun dipped below the horizon, with Noah actually giving some substantial answers this time. He was exhausted, having flown in and driven all day. He climbed into his tent to hit the sack. If he’d had a mirror in there, he would’ve noticed what looked like some dirt smeared on his face, just on his upper lip and the sides of his face by his ears.

Noah was abruptly awakened by Chevy shaking him. “Hey bro! It’s just starting to get light out, let’s get moving.” Noah groaned, it was his vacation and he was getting woken up at five something in the morning. He crawled out of his tent, banging his head on the pole; was it really that small last night?  The boys were up and moving already, and Chevy handed Noah a granola bar to eat. “It’s a light breakfast I know, but we don’t wanna miss the prime time of the day,” he said softly.

Despite being exhausted, Noah’s annoyance was fading quickly. Maybe this would be a little bit of fun; at the very least it would be something different from normal. He scratched at his chin, his fingers brushing through the smallest bit of stubble that had sprouted overnight. Noah had never been able to grow facial hair, but for some reason this didn’t alarm him, it felt natural even. He put on his hat to hide his messy hair and began to chow down on that granola bar. As he did, that small amount of stubble began pushing out more, giving Noah a shadow across his jaw. It grew thicker, sticking out further until he had a rough, patchy beard. It made Noah look more natural in his hunting gear, aging him up just a hair. His clothes had also grown less baggy on him, attributing to an extra inch or two in height and some mass he’d never been able to pack on before.

Within a few minutes, they were off, trekking through the tall grass into the brush. Logan guided them to a denser pocket where they set up watch and waited for some wildlife to show up. Logan had told them he knew there were deer that tended to feed nearby, so they just had to be quiet and wait. The tension grew as time passed, and before he knew it, a buck had shown up in the clearing. Chevy had prepared him for this, and he took the shot. The deer went down, and Chevy and Logan cheered.

“Hell yes dude! Nice shot, especially for your first time,” Logan patted him on the back.

Chevy gripped him with joy, “It must be in your blood bro, you’re a natural.”

The adrenaline was coursing through Noah’s veins and to his surprise he was actually having a good time. He couldn’t remember why he hadn’t wanted to spend time with his cousins, they were chill, and this was turning out to be better than being cooped up in the house. The three of them carried the animal back, working together to hoist several hundred pounds. The sun was fully up now and it was humid. Sweat ran down Noah’s back, and he could smell the putrid stench coming off Chevy in front of him. He didn’t mind though, after all, that’s what a working man smells like.

The sweat was clinging to Noah’s damp skin, beading on his forehead. As he slogged ahead, carrying this massive weight on his shoulders, his body began to adapt. His twig like arms expanded with new muscle, his thighs exploded with size, and his chest produced an impressive set of pecs before softening with a layer of fat. The sweat and smell really began to soak into his skin, and under his sopping shirt small brown hairs poked up around his nipples. Those soft, small hairs didn’t remain so for long, sprouting from his chest, covering the expanse in a curly rug that was slicked down with sweat. Noah’s stubble was not to be left out, pushing further out of his face. Hairs wriggled out in the gaps between old ones, leaving him with much better coverage on his cheeks. Around his chin it even started to fluff up a little, coarse hairs puffing out.

They finally made it back to their camp, dropping the load and slumping into the chairs they’d left around the fire pit. 

“We’ll have to gut and clean that in a minute, but here champ,” Logan handed Noah a beer. It was cold, and exactly what Noah needed against the oppressive humidity. “Here’s to many more,” he toasted, before chugging his own down. Noah was finally able to take a breather, and thats when he noticed.

He STUNK.

He raised his arms back behind his head, airing them out. The sweat drenched pits aired their stench to the world, but to Noah, he just matched his cousins now. The exposed pits had a few hairs plastered to the skin. As he sipped the beer and relaxed, more wisps of hair shot out from his skin, growing thick and wiry. What started as a few extra hairs quickly blossomed into a thick forest of hairs, tangling together and poking out of the sleeves of his t-shirt. The hairs itched as they grew in, prompting Noah to dig his fingers in there, scratching through the sweaty, smelly hairs. He didn’t question it, as far as he remembered he’d had hairy pits since middle school. The hairs spread out of his pits, connecting to the dense coating on his chest. The rug on his chest had started creeping upwards, reaching with thick tendrils of hair towards his burgeoning beard.

After a short reprieve Noah was back on his feet, jumping at the opportunity to learn from his cousins how to clean their kill. They were eager to teach him, to fold him into their ways. Noah’s distaste for his cousins, the country, hunting, all of it was evaporating. He felt like he had so much in common with them now, how had he never realized? 

The rest of the day Chevy and Logan took Noah on a whole laundry list of activities they’d planned. Fishing, mudding, you name it. All hesitation had disappeared, Noah was in deep now. He kept drinking with the boys, not noticing that his gut was pushing tight against his shirt. In fact, his whole upper body was stretching out. His shoulders pushed out, growing broader. His frame was massive now, bigger than either of his cousins. He stood out on the edge of a pond in the harsh sunlight fishing, his shirt absolutely soaked with sweat that dribbled down his massive back. As it reached his waistband, it began fertilizing the growth of a new patch of hair right above his plump ass. The hairs sprung out of the wet skin, shooting up his spine in minutes. Before long the hairs had spread out across the wide expanse of his lats, pressing against the tight shirt. The fields of hair were thick, dense enough to darken the shade of his skin, and definitely didn’t help with the sweat situation. The hairs continued to spread, climbing over his round shoulders and down his arms, coating him with a wild fur that cemented his place out in the country. He was really starting to look like his cousins now, between his camo gear, hairy body, and beer gut. 

When the three of them returned to camp that night, Noah was exhausted. He grabbed another can from the cooler and cracked it open. Putting up to his mouth, he tilted it a little too far, spilling foamy beer down his face and into his chest hair. He chuckled and half attempted to wipe the foam off. Where it sat in his beard, the hairs began to thicken and sprout. His mustache grew incredibly thick, making itself known above the rest of his scruff. His chest fur also took to the growth, turning into a real carpet that climbed up and out of his shirt collar. Noah let out a massive burp in response.

“Yo Chevy, we really gotta head back tomorrow? Shit rocks out here,” Noah said with a deeper voice than he’d ever had previously.

“Yea bro, Ma will skin us if we miss the reunion. But don’t worry man, I know you’ll be back out with us in no time,” he flashed a grin at Noah. 

Noah went and dug through their bags, finding a lighter and pack of cigars. Now that the sun was going down, it was cool enough to enjoy being outside. He lit it up and took a hefty puff, his huge, hirsute body taking it in like a champ. Any thoughts about his old spring break, his old life, had been dragged through the mud and stamped out. All he wanted to do now was relax, listen to the sounds of the crickets, and spend time with his bros. 

[satinslut]

smoking w/ jjk guysss

Please this idea has been running through my mind and is literally so fucking self-indulgent but this shit is canon in my mind. idc what you say, I’d do some stupid ass shit to smoke with these dummies. 

a lil nsfw so imma just say NO MINORS plssss

including: Choso, Gojo, Nanami, and Suguru

Choso

Choso is deffffffffffff a heavy smoker idc what you say, tell it to ya mama

Do you see how low his eyes stay???????

Has been smoking for a minute now and usually smokes daily

Keeps a dab pen on him at all times and defff has the full gram and not the half

Def would be a feen and use the lighter and/or sock method to get the last lil bit out 

Mans definitely wakes and bakes, pre-rolls a blunt at night so he can wake up happy

Definitely says some dumb shit like “Thank you for the meal” before lighting up 

The type to be like, “I’m going out to get groceries? Let’s load a bowl real quick.” 

That or he’s smoking while walking to the store

Prefers smoking, specifically bongs, rather than anything else

Tried wax one time and swears he could understand Gojo’s infinity 

Dropped his tray once while he was rolling and just wept in his seat, he didn’t cry he WEPT

You got to witness this atrocity and just pat his shoulder trying to console him

“I’m literally so sorry for your loss.”

Dude was fr tryna get the grinds out the carpet PLEASSSEE

Choso usually likes to smoke by himself, doesn’t really like having other people around when he smokes

Not on any selfish shit, but because mans just doesn’t want to be bothered and is comforted by his own company 

That and he doesn’t like his brothers seeing him smoke

Likes to smoke with you though,

“You make me feel calm. It’s fun with you.” Said by Choso himself after you asked him why there was never anyone else around

Feel like Choso is an acts of service typa love language guy

Expect to NEVER have to roll your own blunts, load your own pipes or bongs, even grind up your own shit bc this man has it COVERED

Can and will stop you if he sees you tryna do anything besides sit there and look pretty

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it, loves when you roll his blunts for him,,thinks you look pretty, but he wants to do it for you 

Likes to spoil you ofc so expect to have him buying all your snacks too after the both of y’all got the munchies

Feel like he’s a Green Tea Arizona, hot cheetos, and gummy worm typa guy when it comes to the lil pit-stops

That or some sorta hard candy cause he has an oral fixation and likes to keep his mouth busy so he won’t start chewing at his lips

Loves, loves, LOVES being outside when he’s high

Used to get really anxious cause he thought people could tell he was fucked up, but got over it after you told him that you couldn’t tell because he always seemed as such

He is but that’s besides the point 

That means expect picnic dates in the park on the sunniest and warmest of days

Choso packed the lunch ofc and when he pulled out three of the most beautifully rolled and pearled joints and presented them to you with the most goofiest grin plastered on his face, you only fell deeper in love with him on the spot

Just because he holds an affinity for being outside while high doesn’t mean he dislikes being inside

Choso has the most immaculate music taste, Gege told me so

Source? Trust me bro

But no seriously this man has such a diverse taste in music and the first time he put on the playlist you swear you were in a trance on the first song

Cue him saying some shit like, “Do you wanna listen to music and smoke?”

Y’all fr just got back from smoking at the park, pls choso

Ofc listening to music and smoking turns into Choso straddling you on his lap shotgunning smoke into your mouth, one hand on your ass the other holding the burning blunt,,,,but that’s a story for another time bc lemme fr not get into this right now lmaoooooo

Not necessarily clingy when he’s high but really just wants to be in your presence ??? like don’t leave him pls

Let him rest his head between your thighs and play with his hair or else he’ll start pouting

Baby just wants your undivided attention is all :((((

Gojo 

Now Gojo on the other hand is a social smoker, can handle himself just fine…kinda ??

Like he just gets really fucking quiet when he’s high I feel, not eerie or sad or anything like that, but just…his brain is finally calm!!!

Prefers drinking over smoking anyday, but that don’t mean he’s gonna refuse the blunt when it’s coming his way !!

Especially not if Shoko rolled it, god-tier is this woman, skilled with her fingers (lmao) 

Used to roll her own cigarettes when she first started smoking and that just transferred over into the blunts

But Gojo just gets super quiet and calm when he’s fucked up, he can just relax yk???

Can’t tell if he’s sleep or not bc of his dumbass mask and glasses, so when he yells at you for tryna skip him don’t get upset lmao

Cue Nanami saying some shit like “While I appreciate you being quiet for once, how can we tell if you’re fucking sleep or not?” 

If he’s not quiet then he’s whining in your ear about how hungry he is

His sweet tooth just gets 10x worse when he’s gone and is INSUFFERABLE about it

Has gotten to the point where you’ve just started keeping sweets in your bag for him/have a whole ass cabinet dedicated to snacks for Gojo

Said prior but he’s only a social smoker,,but will ONLY smoke with people he’s comfortable with/know

Only bc the very first time he got high his Six Eyes was freaking him tf out 

“I think I just saw a life in this Infinity where I didn’t have this power” -Gojo after three hits 

He’s so ??not annoying?? When he’s high and you honestly think it’s the weirdest thing cause he’s always so !!!!!! yk??

Definitely clingy so expect to be holding his hand or having him follow you all the way to the bathroom, there’s literally no in between

Likes to stay in when he’s high, going out messes with his head a lil too much and makes him a lil anxious

Definitely schedules when he’s gonna smoke if it’s just you two so expect to have it turn into a lil stay-in date night

Can and will leave his smoking stuff at your place so he has an excuse to come over, or will feign that he’s out so he can come see you

Fr would hit you with some sorta ‘roll me a blunt. i’m otw.’ typa text message

Hates rolling, packing, grinding doing quite literally ANYTHING with his weed, and you’ve only spoiled him with how you do any and all of it 

Loves, loves, lovessss watching you roll for him

Sits next to you and gives you lil kisses of appreciation or hands you things you need

 Will fr interrupt anything you’re doing and just sets the stuff down saying sum bs like ‘but you’re the best at it’

Doesn’t fuck with edibles at ALLLLLL stays the literal fuck away from them cause his anxiety spikes so high and he gets hella paranoid

Prefers smoking cause he can at least somewhat measure out how much he’s intaking

Cause if he eats an edible he WILL eat the whole thing and then another cause ‘this shit isn’t even hitting’

Nanaminnnnn

See, in my head Nanamin gets even more brash when under the influence

Still stoic and coldish demeanor, but definitely not presenting himself as such,,more sarcastic than anything 

Like he already doesn't care what he says, but it’s always so ???formal??? whereas when he’s high it’s not so much

Hence the curse words

Mans would say some of the most offhand, outta pocket shit with the straightest face and then ask why the whole groups laughing at him BAHHAHA

Half of me wants to say he’s a social smoker like Gojo, but the other half of me is like,, mans is overworked and burnt out asf he smokes NIGHTLY 

But no seriously the first time Nanami got high with you was so funny cause him being…him and a literal fucking square had everyone thinking he wouldn’t EVER touch any drugs unless a doctor prescribed them yk??

Nahhh mans had everyone in literal awe over how he came to the sesh fully prepared 

That and surprised he showed up at all 

Had the premium rolling papers, designer fucking tray, and the biggest bag of weed that any of y’all had saw

“I forgot my automatic grinder, did anyone bring one cause I honestly don’t feel like pulling this shit apart.” 

The shit Nanami smokes is honestly some of the best shit you’d ever smoked tbh

Like it’s the highest quality you can get, mans hand picked the nuggets he wanted like it was that typa good quality shit 

It’s such an intensely complex yet satisfying high and the group be tryna mooch off of this man so much but he only ever let’s you get what you want

Smokes you out in his benz daily

Like he’ll literally come pick you up after he gets offa work to like?? Go get some food or something and he’ll be like:

“Pick a spot to eat and we’ll smoke in the parking lot before going in.” 

He’s much more touchy, not like Gojo, but will definitely be keeping a hand on your thigh, lower back

Also think he’s a really light sleeper/it’s hard for him to go to bed so he eats an edible before bed, or will wake up in the middle of the night to smoke

Doesn’t smoke in the house, he’s too bougie for that, but redid his whole balcony so he could smoke out there no matter the weather

Such a smart man

Likes sitting out there with you, especially during the summer nights a blunt passed between the both of you

Like to think he likes smoking more than edibles because of the relaxation of the pull when inhaling, but honestly he holds both to equal standards 

Makes his own infused oil and since he cooks nightly (almost) he’ll sometimes put it in the food 

Suguruuuuuuu

He’s an irregular smoker

A couple times through the week to help with his anxiety and insomnia

That or he just really loves the head high of it all, helps his brain go mute and that’s just amazing

Only takes a couple hits before he’s like ‘i’m good’

Low tolerance ass

But no seriously he just knows his limits and will NOT go past them 

A rule he made for himself after he had hella paranoia after smoking with Gojo

Then again, Gojo was saying some off the wall shit and had dude scared as fuck

On top of that, mans refuses to smoke alone, it’s a no go for him everytime 

Feels weird when he smokes alone, gets too in his head 

Likes to talk about the most randomest of things, definitely sum philosophical and controversial

Type to smoke and then either binge watch a show with half lidded eyes, or knock tf out 

Just know he’s not gonna be moving an INCH

Clingy as well, but like you’re getting suffocated typa clingy 

Expect to be literally engulfed by this man 

Like full body weight on you

Will not let you get up and if you do he’s literally following you with his back pressed against you, dead serious 

Like you were getting up to cook once after yall had smoked and from bedroom to kitchen was Suguru literally attached to your back

Keeps his arms hooked around your waist or hips and face in your neck 

Skin to skin contact is a must so expect his hands to be under your clothes and not even in a sexual way, he just fr finds it comforting 

Favorite is to circle your hips with his hands

Has the patience to grow his own stuff, esp since he barely smokes like that 

Ain’t boutta spend all of that money at the dispo tf and just likes knowing that it’s his

Has names for all of his plants idc

Think he’d like tinctures too tbh

Adds in his morning/nighttime tea sometimes

[rue-dixon]

Bro-in-law Dandan propaganda

Dandan playing both sides for his sister and Chilchuck.

Chilwife venting about Chilchuck to her brother. "He just never listens! He's so stubborn I'm tired of him!" while Dandan's just nodding and agreeing like "mhm yeah he just doesn't understand what you're doing through when he's gone at all."

Turn around now to Chilchuck, venting to his brother in law aka his closest childhood friend about the same argument. "She just doesn't even try understand how hard it is for me too." And Dandan is once again nodding his head agreeing, "of course not, she doesn't understand just how hard those jobs actually are."

Uncle Dandan, but the girls call him Uncle Dan/Danny. Who's also closest with Puckpatti. Meijack's a daddy's girl, Flertom a mamas girls, and Puckpatti's an uncles girl.

Chilwife bugging Dandan about not being married yet. And tires to get Chilchuck to agree with her and talk to him about it too. But Chilchuck is just like "let the kid do what he wants, he'll find someone eventually."

When he first saw his sister and Meijack after she just gave birth (him being a child) he said Meijack looked like a "wrinkly potato".

Dandan became a dungeon adventurer because of Chilchuck, who tired really really hard to talk him out of it. But Dandan said he didn't plan on going very deep and wanted to stick with treasure hunters instead of hardcore explorers so Chilchuck laid off finally.

"Chilchuck's like the older brother I never had!"

"I'd say Dandan is the little brother I never had, but I have two of them and they're both little shits just like him."

Dandan would always ask how his sisters and nieces were doing when him and Chilchuck would be working at the guild together. But always obviously had more interest in Puckpatti.

"How's my sister?

"She's fine"

"... and Puck?"

"She's fine too, as well as my OTHER girls."

"Right right.. I was just gonna ask about them next!"

Chilchuck and Dandan worked together to form the guild. Dandan taking care of things when Chilchuck was away or on very long jobs.

Chilchuck and Dandan poked at each other a lot as children. But became good friends as adults. Especially when Dandan was old enough to start drinking, Chilchuck was happy to have a new dedicated drinking buddy. They even stayed close after his wife left him, "she left me, not him." Little does Chilchuck know, she actually told her brother she was leaving and why she left. But he never told Chilchuck because she asked him not to.

Dandan making fun of his sister's situation, especially when he was younger. Even if he actually didn't care about them having shotgun wedding, he just thought it was funny.

"This wouldn't have happened if you just kept your legs closed."

"Only I get to call my sister a whore because it's funny. Anyone else who tries dies."

Uncle Dandan telling the girls crazy stories about their parents when they were younger. Stories that the two of them never wanted their kids to know.

Dandan: what's that?

Chilchuck: huh? Oh those are the brothels for adventurers.

Dandan: oh... you never used it did you?

Chilchuck: what? No! Why would you think I'd cheat on my wife?!

Dandan: just making sure...

Since Chilchuck wants to hide his family from work. He has to tell Dandan not to tell anyone that they're in laws. That they're just friends and that's it. And he'd prefer if he didn't bring up his sister or nieces in conversations. Dandan thought he was weird and got a little suspicious. But Chilchuck explained his reasoning and Dandan agreed, it didn't affect him much anyways.

Dandan: so, what are you and my sister fighting about now?

Chilchuck: what? Where did you get that idea from??

Dandan: you've been sleeping in the union quarters for three days straight. So what's she mad at you for this time?

Chilchuck: ...

He's a built in babysitter even if he kinda hates it. But he loves his nieces so it's ok.

When they were estranged he fully believed they'd get back together and wasn't worried about them getting an official divorce at all. And just waved it off every time he was asked about it.

"You kidding? They couldn't keep their hands off each other when we were kids. Practically inseparable. I'm sure they'll talk, realize how much they miss each other, have makeup sex and then go on like none of this ever happened."

Anyways why'd they make him so cute in the anime tf

[rentumblsstuff]

Random Hatchetfield Headcanons

The first time Alice Woodward ever smoked weed was when (after much inner turmoil) she asked Deb to shotgun it with her.

Max has two snaggletoothed incisors which is why people swear to god he has fangs.

Deb also has a snaggletooth which is what inspired the vampire part of Alice’s vampiric sapphic play. Alice also thinks it’s ironic she made a vampire character when Deb is a vegan.

Ruth as a Sophmore hit on Senior Alice a lot. Alice thought it was funny and she and Deb “adopted” her. Max and Steph also put the PANIC in bi panic for Ruth.

Max would find it weirdly hot that Grace wears bathing suits under her clothes because of the idea that he gets to see what her body looks like before even she does.

The hospital is downtown, so Becky Barnes definitely got infected in TGWDLM. Despite never wanting to do it again, Becky climbs the tree as someone calls the HFPD to save Kathy’s cat because she’s still infinitely compassionate even under Pokey’s control. Plus, Pokey knows she wants to get over the trauma associated with climbing trees, so he makes her do it to give her a big number about finally overcoming her past. She accidentally flings the cat as soon as the song starts, which is why in Show Me Your Hands, the cat dies so quickly even though it JUST got called in.

Peter infected Steph who infected Deb who infected Alice in TGWDLM. Pete and Steph would have been Sophomores and Deb and Alice were Seniors, but I always imagine Steph and Deb knowing eachother because MRFC said Steph is in the Smoke Club on Twitter at some point. Assuming Steph’s been a little punk for a while, she’s been in the smoke club since at least Sophomore year, and probably a new inductee the same year as TGWDLM (2018).

Alice and one of her parents (maybe Bill) were also raised in purity culture because we know the Woodwards and the Chastitys go to the same church. The Woodwards probably take it with a grain of salt though (Alice has expressed dislike over Grace’s prudishness)- either that or one of her parents (probably her mom) wasn’t originally from said church and also raised Alice with “this is what you’re learning here, but here’s also what I learned at my church at your age.” Bill was likely the one raised in purity culture because he does NOT LIKE DEB and thinks that if she HAS TO date a girl, she should date someone like Grace Chastity, implying she’s an exemplary teen girl. Ms. Woodward lets Deb sleep over and probably knows she smokes and likes her anyways; three points for Alice’s mom not being the puritanical one.

Ted reads romance novels. He’s a former geek turned sleazeball- you know he reads the smuttiest novels ever and calls them “his research”. He refuses to read any book with the friends to lovers trope because it’s too upsetting to think about. (Side note Time Bastard gave us a definite date that timelines don’t branch/reset before depending on whichever theory you believe because the homeless man is in every timeline, meaning that Jenny’s death is fixed in time and never changes: October 7th 2004, so the timelines change anywhere between October 8th 2004 and 2018.)

In whatever timeline Emma finally gets to have her weed farm, she meets Paul when he tells her he was prescribed that marajamij for his anxiety and he was too scared to try Xanax. She thinks he’s kind of cute for a wet cat of a corporate slave. “Fuck the patriarchy? Yes please.” (Side note Paul seems so uptight and unfuckable like bro gotta be blank down there like a Ken doll and has no discernible kinks from what I remember while Emma is laid back and chill asf and like… normal in comparison so yeah sure Paulkins canonically fucks but does Emma enjoy it?? Like dude even Pete’s more fuckable than him come on.)

Pete and Steph don’t kiss when they admit their feelings for eachother even though one of them would die before ever getting to kiss each other because they both think it’ll only make it that much harder to go through with sacrificing the other. One of the reasons Pete also chooses to be the one to take the bullet because he doesn’t think he even COULD pull the trigger on her. Like it’d be physically impossible for him, in his mind.

TGWDLM was originally meant to be an allegory for the institution brainwashing us. Show Me Your Hands and America’s Great Again: examples of people in power working for and fulfilling the evil wishes of some almighty, otherworldly, inhuman THING (be it aliens, be it those in power). It’s clearly meant to satirize the way that power corrupts and tries to convince you its way is better. Even Hidgens, THE FUCKING TEACHER, tries to teach his student that it will be better for everyone to join in that corruption and give in to the hive mind. This reminds me of how the school system in America tries to paint our history as something glamorous; manifest destiny instead of genocide of the indigenous populations. The people in power convincing those under them that the deaths of countless lives is a good thing and it will pave the way to a better future. Cool motive, still murder. Which is why Emma “Fuck the Patriarchy” Perkins is the last one to be infected. She was incapable of being brainwashed , and even when she was the last one left, she saw that the people watching didn’t care, and the all-consuming threat of corrupted power closes in on her until the very last moment.

The Lords in Black were going to try to convince whoever sacrificed their most treasured something to do more work for them, but Grace required very little convincing. Like Wiggly spoke into her mind like “Gracy-Wace! You forgot my booky-wook! Look in it, see any thing you like? Wanna kill all the pervy-wervys?” And she’s like “holy cow I can kill all the pervy-wervys with this book?” Pete would have needed the most convincing because he’s just lost the only girl who will ever love him (in his mind) and so he’d think these things took away his one chance at true love and NEVER want to deal with them again. Even if they offered him a way to get her back, he’s too smart to know that won’t come without an even bigger price AND too paranoid to think she won’t come back wrong like Max did.

If the Green-Foster family ever did get to move to California and Lex got to be an actress, her interview attitude would be a lot like Reneé Rapp and if she ever got asked about why she’ll openly shit talk people in an interview, she’s like “I used to work retail I learned pretty fast that nothing gets done if you keep your mouth shut.”

[argumentativeaxolotl]

Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

[daisynik7]

Any smutty headcanon you want about Eren pleeease, I’m in a brainrot for him rn and Iooove how you portray him. I should study for my exam but this is definitely better ilyyyy

Author’s Notes: Sorry this took a while! I hope your exam went well and I hope you enjoy these smutty headcanons for everyone’s favorite: Frat Boy!Eren. I can never get enough of him! ily too nonnie! thanks for the request. 😘

Frat Boy!Eren is as stereotypical as they come. He walks around campus in his letters and backwards baseball cap, a smug grin on his face whenever he walks by a group of girls, head following them as they pass, checking them out. 

Frat Boy!Eren is obnoxious in the library, surrounded by his bros, doing the bare minimum to be quiet as they snicker loudly, tossing crumpled pieces of paper at each other. Eventually, the librarian comes to scold them, but, as usual, he works his charm, apologizing with his sweet smile and emerald eyes, enough to get off with only a warning. 

Frat Boy!Eren is the life of the party. He’s the self-proclaimed frat star of his brotherhood, always the first to get things started with a round of shots. How does that saying go? Beer before liquor makes you sicker, liquor before beer you’re in the clear? Well, he takes that to heart, downing shots of cheap vodka first, then moving on to shotgunning beers, which, of course, he’s the fastest at. And it’s not a party without a keg stand. He does it with ease, Connie and Jean on either side of him, chanting, “Drink, motherfucker, drink!” as he hangs upside down, chugging it. 

Frat Boy!Eren sobers up outside, inhaling the crisp night air into his nostrils. He spots you, the shy girl from one of his classes, standing on the other side of the balcony. Looking as cute and innocent as ever. And, as his reputation precedes him, Frat Boy!Eren adores virgins. He wants to be the one to corrupt you. 

Frat Boy!Eren approaches you, breath heavy with liquor, whispering in your ear, “What’s a sweet girl like you doing here?” And when you reject his advances, claiming he’s too drunk to even get it up, he chuckles, saying, “If I’m sober the next time you see me, do you promise to let me fuck you?”

And while you’re usually not attracted to assholes like Frat Boy!Eren, something about him arouses you, aside from his obvious good looks. Maybe it’s the way he thinks he’s got you figured out, when in reality, he has no idea what he’s getting himself into. 

So, as promised, the next time you see Frat Boy!Eren, he’s sober for the first time at a party, waiting for you to approach him. When you find him, you immediately drag him to the closest bedroom upstairs, locking the door, hungry for his cock. He lays his head back against the pillows, arms resting behind his head, watching as you strip naked for him, rubbing your clit eagerly. When you sink down on his throbbing dick, he moans. “Fuck, your pussy is so fucking tight.”

“You like this sweet, virgin cunt, don’t you?” you tease him, rocking your hips back and forth. Frat Boy!Eren nods, eyes shut in ecstasy, hands gripped to your waist, bouncing you on his lap. His thrusts quicken, your ass smacking on his thighs lewdly. And with your mouth sucking on his ear lobe, you whisper to him, “Fill me up. Breed me.”

And Frat Boy!Eren shouldn’t be turned on by this. In fact, he should be totally freaked out. He’s too young to be a daddy! But as you squeeze around his cock, milking him for everything he’s worth, he can’t help but want to do exactly what you tell him. He shoots his load inside you, too fucking intoxicated by your wet pussy to pull out. He reaches for your clit, rubbing it with his thumb, and soon enough, you’re creaming around him, your combined mess slowly spilling onto his lap. He doesn’t panic about coming inside you, because as you cuddle in bed, you reveal to him with a small laugh that you’re actually on birth control. However, he does panic at how okay he is with it even if you weren’t. Or how happy he is to be snuggled in your arms. 

Frat Boy!Eren doesn’t do relationships. But with you, he’ll make an exception. 

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Hajime’s nineteenth birthday is the first he spends without his best friend.

They’re far from each other and far from home. It’s strange, Hajime thinks, to no longer be confined by mountains and farm fields. Not that California doesn’t have those things—it’s just . . . different. The air is different. The sunshine is different. The way Americans call him by his first name is different. The fact that the driver’s seat is now on the left side of the car instead of the right is different.

Not having Oikawa Tooru by his side is different. 

It wasn’t like Tooru hadn’t tried. He’d sent Hajime a birthday text at the stroke of midnight, and then they spent two hours FaceTiming each other until Hajime had shooed Tooru off, because he knew that Tooru had practice in a few hours and needed at least some shut-eye. And then Hajime had laid there, in the dark of his apartment, wishing and wanting and aching for something a million miles away.

Five thousand and five-hundred thirty-nine miles, to be specific. Not that Hajime is counting. Not that he’s keeping track of every minute that passes between their time zones, because that would be all kinds of pathetic, and Hajime likes to think he's coping with Tooru's absence much better than that.

Anyways. His nineteenth birthday. Off to a great start, obviously. 

It’s also the first birthday he spends with Ushijima Wakatoshi. If you had told Hajime last year that he’d run into Ushijima at a university in California to speak with Ushijima’s father about internships, he probably wouldn't have believed you. If you had told him he’d be stuck in the backseat of a minivan with Ushijima, cruising through the southern Californian desert to watch the stars on his nineteenth birthday—American pop music cranked high, hot wind grazing his shoulders, the van floor littered with chip crumbs and empty boba cups stuffed in the cupholders, with people he’s barely known for the better part of a week���he definitely wouldn’t have believed you. 

But here he is. Munching on shrimp chips, listening to Ushijima’s friends belt out Fall Out Boy. 

Ushijima’s UCI friends are . . . something. Riding shotgun is Kevin Nguyen—he’s what Ushijima calls a “frat boy” and a “gym bro”, but Kevin seems nice enough, if not overly familiar. Selene Hiraishi wears dramatic eyelashes and nails, and her family has been friends with Utsui since he moved to California, so Ushijima’s known her for some time. Citlaly Torres has about a dozen piercings in her ears and graciously offered to drive for the three-hour trip to the park from the university. Avery Cherent, Hajime was happy to discover, is a fellow Godzilla nerd with short silver-dyed high-top curls. Jaesung Han is never seen without their black bomber jacket and a pair of ripped jeans, and—Hajime has noticed—keeps their eyes on him more than the others seem to do.

They’ve taken to Hajime like ants to a cookie, and Hajime is grateful for it, really. He's grateful for anything that can distract him from that empty, aching tug in his chest. From knowing that he'd wake up lonely, and that today would have been a lonely day if it weren't for these plans.

The road is bumpy, and honestly—Hajime is hesitant to even call it a road. It’s more like a wide stretch of dirt that’s been cleared for cars. Joshua trees—the park’s namesake plant—dot the landscape far into the horizon, sharing ground with desert brush and craggy boulders. Outside the open windows, the sky looks like it’s been brushed with watercolor; deep oranges and purples and pinks bleed from the setting sun like the branches of a river.

Citlaly turns into a pullout, kills the engine, and twists around to grin at everyone. “Made it in one piece. What did I tell you guys?”

“You almost crashed into that Honda Civic right off the freeway,” Kevin says. “‘One piece’, my ass.”

“The One Piece is going to be a far greater treasure than your ass, Kev,” says Avery loftily. “They haven’t gone through six hundred and twenty-eight episodes just for that.”

Jaesung claps Kevin’s shoulder as they clamber out. “Don’t worry, Kev, I think you have a great ass.”

Kevin beams. “Aw, Jae! I think you have a great ass, too!”

“Your friends are weird,” Hajime remarks while he and Ushijima hop out the backseat. “Nice, but weird.”

Ushijima smiles. Before today, Hajime hadn’t even known that was something the guy was capable of doing. “They are, aren’t they?

-- an excerpt from wherever you go in this world (i'll come along), an iwaoi bday fic i really really wanted to finish today but perhaps later this week???

[eternalsams]

Southern Nights ⇴ M.Garcia

pairing: Mickey Garcia x fem!reader

warning/content: protective big bro energy, recomposed family, smitten Fanboy as we love him

summary: your boyfriend is finally meeting your family but it doesn't go as he planned it.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: English isn't my mother tongue, please take that into consideration.

masterlist

"What about you, Fanboy? Doing anything special for the holidays?" Rooster asked the younger man as he took a sip from his beer. Mickey couldn't contain the smile that appeared on his lips and raised his chin, a proud look in his eyes. "I do, actually. Meeting my girl's family for the first time." All his friends howled and cheered him on, making him slightly blush. "This is getting serious, Garcia. Make sure to compliment the mama and stay away from the pop's shotguns." Hangman clapped his hand on Mickey's shoulder with a sneer. "Not everyone keeps shotguns to terrorize their daughter's boyfriend, Bagman." Phoenix slapped the blonde's hand from Fanboy's shoulder before turning to the WSO. "Don't worry, I'm sure they're gonna love you. If your girl's as wonderful as you say, her parents must be amazing people too." She reassured him. "You seem pretty in love, where did you hide the ring?" Payback teased his WSO. "In my gym bag." He admitted, not ashamed of how smitten he is for his girl. "What did you say her name was again?" Hangman's voice teased again. Mickey turned to him with a fake-smile. "Not your business, Bagman."

You were practically jumping at the sight of your childhood house. It's been so long. Your hand holding his, you were pulling him toward the big house. You both walked up the few steps on the porch and before you could knock at the door, Mickey dropped the bags he had in other hand and pulled up against him before kissing you deeply. You were surprised but didn't complain. You pulled away, your cheeks flushed and looked at him. "What was that for, Mister Garcia?" You ran your fingers on his shoulders, inspecting his button-up shirt. "I don't think your parents will allow me to kiss you that way for the next week." He then pecked your lips and smiled down at you when you giggled. "You're a dork..." He bent down to grab the two bags and you went to knock on the front door. An elder woman was quick to open it and you threw yourself in her arms, wrapping your arms around her. Mickey smiled softly and locked eyes with the woman holding you close. Your mom quickly released you from the hug and she looked at you surprised. "Oh My! He's even more handsome than on the pictures you sent me!" Mickey smiled wildly at the compliment and wrap an arm around the woman who hugged him. You watched them with a loving smile and waited for them to separate to go into the house.

Mickey was met by an incredible smell and he already felt like home. "It smells amazing, Mrs Y/L/N." Mickey held onto the bags, not really sure where to put them. "Oh, you can call me Kate, sweetie. And I hope you're hungry!" She reached for your jacket to put it in the closet. "She cooked enough to feed the whole town!" A masculine voice joined the discussion. A wide grin took place on your face and you went to hug an elder man, your father, Mickey guessed. Your dad pulled away from you and straightened up to make himself taller to face Fanboy. Kind as he was, Mickey smiled at the man and extended his hand with genuine interest. "It's very nice to meet you, Sir. Y/N can't stop talking about you, both of you actually." He quickly glanced at your mom who slightly blushed and waved it off. Your father turned towards you as he shook Mickey's hand. "Did you tell him to say that?" You simply shrug and smile at him. "Maybe." Your father laughed a bit and turned back to Mickey. "It's okay, at ease, Lieutenant. And you can call me Jacob." He tapped Mickey's shoulder before taking the bags from his hand and leaving for the rooms to drop them in your room for the holidays. "Did you bring anything else with you, darling?" Your mom asked you. "Yeah, the rest is in the car." You smiled at her and she took Mickey's hand to lead him in the kitchen so he could help her setting the table. Mickey looked back at you and you waved your fingers at him with a soft smile. Your dad came back and walked to the french doors leading to the backyard. "Hey, Junior! Come help me with your sister's bags!" He called loudly to be heard over the children's screams.

"Aunt Y/N is here?" You could hear a little boy's voice ask before you were tackled by your sister's 5 year old son, and your godson. "Hey there..." You crouched down to scoop him in your arms. "I missed you. How is California?" He held you close, tightening his little arms around your shoulders. "It's amazing. It's hot, you'd love the beach. And I brought home someone I'd like for you to meet." You stroked his back and scratched the back of his head to draw his attention. He pulled back from your neck and looked at you with a frown. You said nothing and simply smiled, walking to the kitchen where your mom and Mickey were chatting. When you passed the doors, your boyfriend looked over at you and an excited grin took place on his face when he saw the child in your arms. "Noah... This is Mickey, he's my boyfriend. Mickey, this is my first love, Noah." You kissed your godson's cheek, making him giggle. Mickey walked up to you and shook Noah's hand. "It's really nice to meet you Noah, I've heard a lot about you. Wow, you really got a firm grip!" He exclaimed as he pretended to painfully rub his hand, earning a giggle from the boy. From the corner of your eye, you could see your dad and your brother walk up to your car and get everything out. Noah got shy as Mickey kept softly smiling at him and he buried his nose in your neck. "Are you in love?" He whispered in your ear, but loud enough because you could see Mickey smile even more. "We are." You answered as you rubbed his back. "Are you gonna get married and have kids?" He then asked in your ear. You smiled even more and turned your head so you could whisper back in his ear. "I hope so. I'm just waiting for him to be ready and pop the question down on one knee." The little boy laughed and squirmed in your arms. You crouched down and let him go back outside to play with his sister. The front door opened again and you could see Mickey frown when he heard your dad and your brother talk. He walked out of the kitchen and froze.

"Bagman?!" The latter froze in turn and looked at your boyfriend then looked at you. "You gotta be kidding me..." He sighed before dropping the bags he was holding. Mickey turned to you with a shocked expression and pointed at your brother. "You didn't tell me your brother was Hangman! Why isn't your name Seresin then!" The annoyed expression on Jake's face changed to a protective one when he heard your boyfriend raising his voice while talking to you. You simply chuckled and shrugged. "Because I'm not a Seresin, Jake's dad met my mom after I was born, we don't have the same dad. They got married when I was six and I got used to calling him dad." Mickey turned back to Jake who was looking between you and your boyfriend. "Everything good, Y/N?" The blonde asked. "Everything's good, Jake. Don't worry, I should've told you guys, I knew you worked together for a while and I thought it would be fun to keep this for me until your met. And it was fun." You chuckled and took your boyfriend's hand before leading him to the backyard to greet your niece and your sister and her husband. You heard Jake groaning behind you and turned back to throw him a glare, asking him silently to behave and not cause a scene. You wanted these vacations to be perfect for everyone. Jake sighed and rolled his eyes before grabbing your bags and following his dad to your room. He dropped the bags on your bed and stopped in his track and he saw Fanboy's gym bag. The ring. He quickly checked if anyone was coming in the hallway but he only heard chatting in the backyard. He opened the bag and searched for a little satin bag, a black velvety box, anything. He stopped his research when his hand touched something that had no reason to be in a gym bag. An envelop. He took it out of the bag and read your name in Fanboy's handwriting. He felt the envelop between his fingers and recognized the shape of a ring with a stone one one side. A big one, that is. He decided he knew enough and put the envelop where it was and put everything back how it was before closing the gym bag and leaving the room.

Jake joined everyone outside in the backyard, still deep in his thoughts, and was surprised when his niece threw herself in his arms, screaming and laughing, oh so happy to have her entire family reunited for the holidays. He looked up and saw you perched on Mickey's lap, laughing at something his dad said. He locked eyes with the WSO and walked up to them, dropping off the little girl so she could go play with her brother. "I saw you brought your gym bag." He said directly to Fanboy who froze and widened his eyes. All colors left his face and he realized Jake knew about the ring and that he planned to propose. To Jake's sister. You turned to your boyfriend and furrowed your frows, feeling there was a silent discussion between the two men. "I know a good place for a good run, I'll show you tomorrow morning if you want." The blonde pilot tapped Mickey's shoulder who seemed to breathe for the first time since his colleague opened his mouth. His grip on your hips loosened and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you closer and resting his chin on your shoulder. "Thanks, man." He only said before turning his attention back to the two children trying to show him what they learned in gym class.

[penaltyboxboxbox]

i love ur charlos parents au sm!! im not requesting art or anything if u dont feel like drawing (tho youre a phenomenal artist!!), but i was wondering if you wanted to share any more details abt the au? i thinks its so cute haha and would love to know more. also hope ur having a great day!

I LOVE THIS AU TOO i do want to draw more i always have ideas for it.... but i will gladly ramble about my lore ive developed

1. is this an mpreg au even i do not know or care to know. yes these are their biological children who look like them and share their genes but how did we get here ill leave that to you to assume. either way both of them definitely wanted big families and even tho i draw them with 2 kids i think they want at least 4..... charles wants a daughter and carlos says the same but secretly he only wants sons. hes picturing a future football team and also doesn't understand women conceptually

2. i actually think carlos3 was an accident child and charlos get shotgun married over it. its part of the reason why theres a bit of a gap between their first and second child. they had to like reassess and settle stuff after kind of having to get their shit together and make honest men of each other.

3. they get divorced at some point during all this mainly due to SAINZ SENIOR PRESSURE. probably while carlos3 is like highschool age. charles talks so much shit and then proceeds to get emotional like I SHOULDNT TALK ABOUT YOUR FATHER THIS WAY vs carlos like. bro tries to just act like they are normal regular friends now like man thats not how this works....charles always plays cool irl but is annoyed as hell underneath. very good coparents though....always at all the events together. when the kids stay at sainz family evil mansion for the summer they come back to charles so villainous and feral. he has to go supernanny on them...

4. charlos DO get back together after like 10 years of being separated lol. and yeah there were lots of messy nights out and not quite reconciliations throughout that time. very confusing family dynamic but theyre happy at the end

5. carlos3 grows up to be a guy who just kind of piggybacks onto whatever business endeavors his dads are doing. ultimate nepotism hire. hes not bad at what hes doing he just never really found that passion. his passion is like.....posting peaky blinders quotes on instagram. hes kind of a failson but hes also the perpetual baby for charlos so they just...coddled him too much his whole life djhdksndksbs.... younger son herve becomes a FASHION MODEL!!!! hes beautiful gorgeous and also a perfect nepo child so he's ripe for this career....he walks runways in paris

thats all i can think of for now thankssssss ily

[rzyraffek]

Hi I was wondering if you could do slashers (RZ Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Sinclair brothers) with a s/o that works and performs with dolphins, sharks, and alligators and has a really good relationship with the animals. like their s/o is like "they're so cute!" And they're petting a shark or crocodile and the slasher is just like "😳"

OMG YES!!! Imma do sharks/alligators cuz dolphins are wacky. She/her, sfw, Request open

Slasners with s/o that befriends wild animals

Jason Voorhees

Guy lives in America im sure there are gators in this lake of his

Imagine, before s/o and Jason became bffs, s/o friends wanted to hang out in Crystal Lake but there where huge alligators there. Imagine s/o just bonding with gators slowly, like giving them lil treats and other stuff

Belly rubs and head pats all the way! Im sure they love it

When s/o and Jason got together, I swear his soul left his body when he saw her walking around gators. This guy just died

I mean im sure he and gators are best pals, BUT THEY USUALLY EAT NORMAL PEOPLE S/O WHAT ARE YOU DOING

NONO ITS WALKING IN YOUR DIRECSION S/O STOP- oh wait you are petting it, aww

"Aww look at this big boi! Soo cute!"

He wants some headpats too pls

Jason, s/o, beautiful beach, sunset, 3alligators chilling next to them. Wonderful afternoon

Bo , Vince and Lester Sinclair

"I swear if it even looks at you in wrong way im skinning it"

"So... your taming big lizards now?"

Vince secretly wants to be aligator dad and have litte gator puppy. Definitely wants to yoink (adopt) one egg and tame it

Lester tried to pick one up and put it in truck once, mostly just to prank Bo. Imagine "lester where is my shotgun🤨" "oh its in truck😈" "hsss🐍" "AAHH HOLY SHIT"

Bo hates it so much, I mean yeah gators look epic and are great if somone tries to escape Ambrose thrue lake. But s/o! My love! They can crush your hand without even thinking about it!! It's an idea for suicide!

Lester agreed to adopt one (due to vincent begging)

Micheal Myers RZ

Aw hell naaah

Man ate a cat once, ya think that thicker skin is going to stop him?

Will have stare contest with the gator

Also if s/o is a professional and works with sharks.. THIS GUY IS OBSSESED WITH SHARKS OMGOMGOGK YAS!!

Especially that its his s/o playing/swimming with the creature... so he is not the only dangerous thing shes dealing with? Maybe that's why she isn't so scared of Myers? He is overthinking sm

Pls buy him hammer head plushie or whale sharks (bro tbh lemon sharks and whale sharks are so cute i have like milion tiktoks of them saved)

Will lisen to s/o mumble and monogluge about difrent kinds of sharks, their behaviours, how they bend with humans and how cool they are!

He finds sharks very funny and goofy, and im sure he doesnt really know how fish breathe underwater.. he's convinced that they just swallow water and that's how they breath

[waltwhitmansbeard]

time for part 3 babey

what cars would the bells hells drive?

orym: orym does a ton of research into vehicles before buying one, bc he wants the top safety features but also enough room for his friends but also not something so big that he becomes a hazard on the road but also everyone's phone needs to pair so they all can take turns being the dj but also he'd like a hybrid so it's good for the environment. he ends up with a sensible suv (green, ofc) that he takes very good care of, except for the glovebox, which belongs to fearne and quite frankly it's none of his business what's in there.*

fcg: i'm so sorry but they are a tesla bro, just an absolute elon musk fanrobot. he's convinced ai is going to save the world and if a few errant children need to be run over to get us there, well, then, where were their parents?

imogen: yes, imogen has a massive, heavy-duty pick-up that she uses to haul her horse trailer, but her everyday car is an old, slightly rusted chevy, one from the 50s with the wooden bars along the sides of the bed. it's red and the fender has seen better days but imogen does enough work on it to keep it running.

laudna: laudna has the bike that margaret hamilton uses at the beginning of the wizard of oz. let me be clear. she doesn't have a bike like the one margaret hamilton uses. she has the bike. no one knows how she got it, or how much it cost, and she can barely pedal it bc she has no leg muscles to speak of, but the children whisper whenever she passes on the absolutely ancient thing.

chet: an olllllllllllllllllllld chrysler town & country, one with wood paneling, of course, real wood, not that vinyl shit. he keeps it in excellent condition by not actually driving it anywhere but instead bumming rides from his friends. one time dorian looked at it and chetney threatened to gouge his eyes out.

fearne: fearne doesn't drive. fearne is driven.**

ashton: ashton doesn't drive. ashton despises cars and car culture. this is a public transport bitch. they know every single bus driver, their names, their routes, how long they've been driving. he knows the turnstiles you can jump and the ones that are monitored. they'll tell you the stories of all the graffiti in the subway system, and only half of them are made up, but you'll never figure out which half.

dorian: he tries to pretend he doesn't have far and away the nicest car of all the hells, but there's only so much you can do to hide a bright blue camaro. he likes to go fast and make a lot of noise, which is helpful, bc he is literally never on time. he pays the price whenever he shows up twenty minutes late with an obnoxious starbucks order in his hand by being absolutely razzed by the rest of his friends.

(vox machina) (mighty nein) *the glovebox is fearne's bc shotgun is always fearne's. even if fearne isn't in the car. the seat next to orym belongs to fearne at all times in all situations. no one else may sit there under penalty of fearne's big, sad eyes and incredible tits. **but fr can you imagine fearne behind the wheel of a car?? i'm an excellent driver!! she insists as she knocks over her third mailbox of the day. just an absolute menace. could NEVER get insurance. orym let her drive ONCE and immediately went to update his will.

[johnnycakesswitch]

Favorite little moments in the movie

• Dally swinging down from the damn roof when Ponyboy got jumped 💀

• Soda checking on Steve’s nose in the background in the beginning of the movie 😔😔 he’s such a sweetheart

• “I’m gonna make it my business to get the guy who did that to your face >:( ”

• Pony and Johnny giving Two-Bit’s car a push start such little brother energy

• Ponyboy being mad as hell laying in bed w Soda when he’s telling him Darry loves him a lot bro looks like this the entire time 😒😠☹️

• “here come the hobos” that whole little bit it’s so real like visiting your friends/sibling at work and bothering them

• Pony helping Johnny slide under the gate at the drive in

• Johnny telling Two-Bit “get out of my hair >:(” when he comes and scares them and Two brushing a comb through his hair

• Marcia wearing Two-Bit’s jacket 💔💔

• I’m sorry but Bob’s “Cherry 😡 what’s going on 😡 what are you doing!!” Is actually hilarious the way he says it makes me laugh

• “what time is it?” “I don’t know I went to sleep too 🙄 💅 ” they should’ve let Johnny say the fuck bc ik he needed to add that to a lot of the end of his sentences when talking to Pony

• Darry looking at Ponyboy through the window and picking up the paper just so he could slam it down

• Soda unbothered resting on the couch 💅 bro does not give a fuck

• Johnny rubbing Pony’s arm right when they first rub away 😔 bffs

• Pony yelling at Johnny to run when the Socs went after him ☹️ he knew how scared Johnny must’ve been

• “you really did kill him huh Johnny 😥” “yeah 😕🧍‍♂️”

• the whole scene at Buck’s, they’re all so fed up with each other 💀 but the way Dally helped them come up w a plan, zero hesitation, gave Pony dry clothes and his own jacket, as much money as he could get them, it showed a lot about Dally’s loyalty

• “don’t point the thing at me, will ya? It’s loaded, come on ✋🙄”

• Pony has the most youngest sibling energy of anyone talking abt “why do I have to act like a farm boy” Johnny should’ve told him bc I don’t damn want to tf

• Pony imagining that he’s home, I love the glimpse into his everyday life

• Johnny not knowing where to put Pony’s hair that he’s cutting so just dropping it in Pony’s lap 💀

• as scared as he was, Johnny constantly comforting Pony in the church even when he was upset and terrified himself 😕

“Johnny 😟 there’s a monster outside 😰” “what 🙄”

• Johnny blowing his smoke rings

• Dally pulling Pony’s hair to wake him 😭

• one of the first questions Pony asking being “how’s Soda doing is he upset?” ☹️

• “YOURE starving??” Johnny was sick and tired of these people 😭😭😭

• Johnny asking where Dally got the car is so funny “where’d you get this car? HUH??? 🙄” like

• them BEGGING Dally to watch the road ✋😭

• Pony mad as hell when Dally asks if they think Cherry might like him 💀

• also of course Johnny gets to ride shotgun in Dally’s car 😌 Pony gets the back 😒

• Dally attempting to yank Johnny back into the car then his little “you gonna get him? 🙄”

• Curtis brothers reuniting at the hospital 💔💔 then Darry carrying him back inside ☹️ the best boys

• Tim on the couch in the morning 😭 “hey kid 🫤”

• literally the entire following scene, it’s so domestic and shows their everyday lives but I’ll go into more detail:

- Two-Bit and Steve being so genuinely happy to see Pony and him just as always mad as hell about his eggs

- “beer for breakfast there Two-Bit? 🫤”

- “morning Mr. Universe 😄”

- Darry picking up Steve

- Soda telling Pony to shut the door and Pony just ignoring him

- Darry telling Soda to go get dressed and him instead going to sit on the couch assumingly bare ass naked to watch tv 💀

- “why don’t you get a job you ever think of getting a job for a living Two-Bit?” And “Soda, shoes” Steve has the best lines I stg

- Darry telling Ponyboy and Two to do up the dishes like this is rly everyone’s house

• “boy he’s so greasy he glides when he walks”

• Two-Bit cutting up w the Socs while Pony and Randy talk he’s so 😭😭

• the doctor saying Johnny has been asking for them ☹️ poor baby, he must’ve felt so alone and scared

• Dally being a brat and his goofy ass laugh 😭 like tf you mean you threw away your hospital gown 💀 and him saying Tim came to visit him like ok I see you Tally

• Two-Bit checking Pony’s temperature, they all care abt each other sm

• Steve and Soda in the pre rumble scene, Steve throwing cards at Soda, the arm wrestling, talking about why they like to fight, give me more Stevepop I beg

• “Curly always said you were a good kid” ik Pony’s ass was thinking omg he talks about me 😍😍😍

• Dally making sure Johnny knew how proud everyone was of him ☹️💔

• Steve asking Soda if he looks tuff 😔

• Dally calling the house and even though Steve answered him specifically asking for Darry ☹️ he could’ve told anyone what was going on but he wanted Darry then everyone without a second thought going to help him

• Pony’s absolutely heart wrenching “no” right as Dally dies and Darry yelling at the cops

• “is somebody sick?” 😕

• Darry smiling reassuringly at Pony in court 😔 then the hug at the end when everything works out

• Soda’s monologue and Darry promising that they’re not gonna fight anymore 😔 then “let’s go home I’m cold”

Anyway all these little moments are so important to help build up all of the characters! I love all of them and think every moment is so important to the overall story

[cafulur]

(Boyf riends) First Meet/College AU

I have been writing up this au for a while and decided to finally share a few bits, please let me know if you’d like to hear more!! ♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Jeremy and Michael have never met before and are attending the same university for their freshman year.

- Michael had come to terms with his queer sexuality during high school, but Jeremy hasn’t thought too hard about it, always considering himself mostly straight with the occasional fictional male crush.

- Jeremy didn’t deal with the SQUIP situation in high school, but he definitely had a massive falling out drama with all the popular theatre kids. Christine has been a constant best friend for him through it all. He’s had his ups and downs, but came out of the drama more comfortable with himself and the world around him. He doesn’t know anyone at this university but is excited to maybe make some new friends.

- Jeremy gets invited to a house party by his roommate who is friendly, so friendly, wants everyone to join in and shotgun a beer together, like a Rich energy. Omg. Rich is Jeremy’s roommate. 😭💛

- They go to this party and there’s probably 12-13 people there, one of which includes Michael who got dragged along by his roommate— WAIT what if Rich is Michael’s roommate instead and Jake is Jeremy’s?

- After some serious contemplation, Rich is Michael’s roommate and Jake is Jeremy’s. Jeremy doesn’t need much convincing to go to a party, so Jake energy is enough. Michael needs the convincing. All the convincing. He needs Rich for these additional friendships to thrive lmao.

- Jake ends up introducing all of them while hanging in the kitchen with Rich. Michael thinks Jeremy is cute but Jeremy at first isn’t quite sure what he feels for Michael. He just knows he’s super cool and finds himself strangely thinking about him even after they part.

- Maybe the week after the party while in class or something Michael’s face or laugh pops up in Jeremy’s head, and he just thinks man I’d wanna be near that dude again and maybe be actual friends. Casually mentions to Jake that he had fun and they should do a smaller, more casual get together. It’s really sweet, they all get takeout/fast food and watch some fucked up underfunded film. Michael and Jeremy sit side by side, and while Jer is engrossed, Michael finds himself sneaking glances throughout the movie to catch Jeremy’s expressive reaction.

- Rich, Jake, Jeremy and Michael stop by a 7/11 for gas and snacks one night. On the way out, Michael holds the door open for Jeremy who lagged behind the group while trying to open a blind box he just bought. Michael asks him what figure he got and revels in Jeremy’s excitement when he shows him a tiny frog with a bicycle helmet on.

- { Prior to their little moment, an attentive Michael waves Rich on ahead, simply saying “Jeremy’s still in line.” as his reason for staying behind. Rich watches from the gas pump he parked next to as Michael leans against a faded poster covered glass window and waits for Jeremy. He watches him proceed to hold the door open for a completely oblivious Jeremy, far too absorbed in the secrets he’s about to unfold with his blind box. Rich thinks hm. Hm. interesting. }

- Jeremy gushes about his prize later at the table of the Waffle House: “I got a skater frog!”

Rich squints, skeptical. “Where’s his skateboard?”

Jeremy looks around the table for a worthy substitution, going for a spoon from the silverware pile and perching the figure on top. “Currently M.I.A. but he’s got a helmet on so I assume some skating is happening.”

Rich laughs as Jeremy scoots the little amphibian across the table atop his silly new ship. “Skaters don’t wear helmets bro, he’s probably a cyclist or something.”

Jeremy protests, making the frog do a sick spoon flip. “Nah you don’t get it, he’s just a skater that cares about his life!”

Rich supports his cheek with his fist and sips his milkshake, watching Jeremy scoot the little dude across the table. “Laaaame!”

… Michael falls a little.

[pandoraroid]

The Pack Wedding 💥💥💥💗💥

reaction rambles bc yes

please keep in mind this is meant to be lighthearted i love these men with all my heart n life n soul

THIS IS 43 MINUTES IM SO SCARED WHY CANT I PRESS THE VIDEO this is too much nervousness for seven in the morning im dead

DAVEEEYYYYY HIIIIIII GMORNING MWAAAA

"it's the pack everything's gonna go crazy." bro it's the SHAW pack what does that say about you hm 🤔 /j i love you david 

"reception's gonna be a solstice party on steriods" I SNORTED SO DAMN LOUD 😭

now should be a good time to say that part of the reason why i like redacted so much is because it's so funny and lines like that do it for me every single time.

"i love you angel so very much" BOOGSH 💥 im so in love with you david shaw 

i think bro's in love with us guys idk 

"beautiful... you.." NO YOU 🫵 david we are not doing this back in forth in the morning JUST ACCEPT IT

he's triggering my cuteness/love aggression SO FUCKING SAPPY I LUV U MWAH

"you fucking menace c'mere" HIS LAUGH OMFG GOOD FUCKINH MORNINGGGG

IS ASHER NEXT PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NEXT 

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

"oh fuck it's the day" me just this morning

"asher breathe we're good you've been training for this your whole life" ELABORATE???? id love to know how exactly youve been training for this asher

"it's our wedding day. holy shit it's our wedding day. i'm gonna be a husband." KILLL MEEE RIGHT NOW I CAN HEAR HIM SMILEEE OMFG WEAR THAT SHIT WITH PRIDE ASHER

"i've always been husband material look at what we're working with" KILL ME RIGHT NOW /pos baabe smacking him though HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

id kiss you for the rest of my life asher

laughing against/while kissing THIS MAN WANTS ME DEAD

"say how much time do we have before we meet everybody in the lobby" LET THEM FUCKING WAIT

MILO AND SAM???? OH MY GOD???? (should go without fucking saying but... drive safe..... please...)

in my head: sam is driving. david's shotgun. ash & milo are in the back. just because. >> BRO I WAS RIGHT????

darlin driving in another car with the other mates??? that... isnt what i think it is.... is it......

david sounds so tired of their bs HAHAHA "rounded out with a little traditional opinion from them of all people" DARLIN FIGHT BACK

"hey we're fun too, right?" ASHER PLEASE

"well let's see: we've got a grouchy grandpa drivin us-" 

"hey." 

"at least he didn't call you cowboy." BRO

"now don't you start." 

"and we got the grumpy alpha."

"i'm not grumpy. just preoccupied."

"right. right." bros didnt even try to sound convinced

"we're fun." 

"asher. we spent your bachelor party playing destiny 2." 

"and smash!" 

"oh my mistake."

this entire conversation. peak.

"i dont even wanna imagine what chaos those four are getting up to piled in one vehicle." OH WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO SAM 

DEAD ASS SILENCE I LOVE IT i cant fycking breathe this is too funny.

in my head, they were definitely arguing over directions. or darlin's driving, or making fun of the other car.

wait darlin what

"or you'll likely end up staring down the maw of my own beautiful mate-" SAMUEL COLLINS

"oh move it mr. wedding day" WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD

"and fix your hair."

"it's suppose to look like this!"

"are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?" BRO NOT ON HIS WEDDING DAY 💀

sam encouraging milo omgomg

"you talk more than anyone i know. and i know asher." AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

"is my tie on straight?" 

"is it ever?" is the one wearing it straight /jjjj

david helping him with his tie someone kill me right now

GABE'S CHILI RECIPE WHAT

"why did you pick me?" OH SHIT

i seriously just listened and payed attention to their conversation so no thoughts head empty only them

"what really mattered in a beta was having a person that was the other side of your coin."

"i picked you because you were the one person i trusted more than anyone else. you made me feel safe at a time more than i couldve explained. you were everything i wasnt. where i was distant you were outgoing. where i was rough you were warm. where i was analytical you were intuitive. you're the other side of my coin. you always have been. so it never mattered to me what anyone else thought of what i needed in a beta because they didnt know me. i did. you did. and i needed the person that was right for me not for anybody else."

i couldve typed out everything david said but THIS!!!! I WAS SOBBING!!!! THEY ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF OTHER'S COIN NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!! their vows to each other fr

this is wrecking me THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

"you're too hard on yourself too."

"well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" the range of friendship everyone 

THEYRE HOLDING BACK TEARS IN THIS ONE TRUST ME 

my heart felt so heavy in this WHY

"i think you're the best fucking beta i could have ever asked for. i think you're the besy friend i could have ever asked for. i deserved most of the time."

aaaanndd got heavier 😁

GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG

"i just feel bad that i'm going to be up there looking this good y'know people are going to get confused on whose wedding day it really is." EAT EM UP SWEETHEART (i meant milo but them too ofc)

"do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" HAHSHAHAHAHHA THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

"i love you milo"

"i love you too asshole" CRYING 

"thank you for doing this milo"

"i got you. always." ALWAYS.

CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY 

"when i was asked by my friends to officiate their unions, i only had one question for them: how much does it pay?" ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

im really listening on this part so head empty.

oohh asher (i think it's asher) laughing through baabe's vows IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL

OH DAVID GETTING CHOKED UP ON ANGEL'S VOWS KILL ME

"you're the best part of me. and i'll spend the rest of our lives showing that i'm worthy of that." oh david shaw you dont even have to try

"i now pronounce you all married the-the pairs of you to each other not all together" OH THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE THAT DOWN

THE KISSES OMMMGGGKFHEKHEJSS 

CONGRATULATIONS ANGEL & DAVID

CONGRATUALTIONS BABE & ASHER MWAAAAAAAAHH TO ALL OF YOUUU