#what if your lover was unreachable and silent the way god is and you didn’t care

[loststolenorstrayed]

Thinking about my very silly creepypasta oc

[tokoyamisstuff]

Tender Ch. 2 - Loki x Mute! Reader

Summary: Winning the favour of the God of Mischief is not an easy task - even if he has already fallen for you.

Warnings: None.

Words: ~1600

A/N: Since I am writing several Series at once, together with Oneshots in between, the chapters are gonna be a bit shorter so I keep no one waiting. Hope that is alright!

[Story Masterlist] [All of my Works]

Taglist: @austynparksandpizza​ @queenariesofnarnia​​ @commonintrest​​ @buckylokisimp​ @just-someone-who-likes-to-write @lxdyred @frostay​​​​

The first weeks after your arrival at the Avengers Compound passed by rather uneventful.

Due to the fact that you neither had a family you could be attached to, nor many belongings ever since HYDRA had kidnapped you and destroyed your home, Tony insisted on you living at the tower - like many of the other members as well.

Everything was just so new and exciting, not even Loki’s gleeful mockery could bring you down from that high.

Little did you know that all of his pep talks about those ‘inferior heros’, the ‘illusion of power’ or how no one was ever truly good or evil had a completely different reason:

An attempt to get you to leave, for your own good. After everything that had happened to you, the god was worried how another fight would affect you.

Anyway, it was a luxurious life compared to your old one, with so many kind persons and new perspectives. And you were sure to return that favor once you’d learn to control your powers!

So until then, you would train as hard as possible and care for your new friends through little acts of service. Caring for others came quite natural to you, may it be listening to their problems or simply complimenting them to see their faces brighten up.

And for some reason, that particular character trait was the one thing Loki found the most annoying.

How could a person so naive and pure think they could actually join in battles against evil? You’ll only end up getting yourself killed - and to be honest, Loki thought this to be a waste.

And even though he’d never admit it, but jealousy was starting to get the better of him the more he observed you getting along with everyone.

They adored you - and they were very right in doing so!

But that would mean that you were just nice to everyone, not especially to him, right?

Every time you’d help Bucky through a panic attack, braided Thor’s hair or helped Banner in the laboratory, Loki only wished you’d be with him instead - and if he had to burn this whole place to the ground for this to happen.

Yet his pride kept him from voicing that desire.

For you on the other hand, it was frustratingly hard to get through to the God of Mischief. In comparison to how he treated the other Avengers, he was always reserved and courteous towards you, yet also unreachable distanced.

Only on a weekend where the other Avengers were on a mission, the two of you found a way to actually bond with each other, if only a little.

Loki had once again read every book he borrowed from Stark’s library, now having a reason to leave his room again. At least those subhumans won’t be there to drain on his nerves...

When he crossed the living room on his way to the elevator, he blinked heavily as he saw you plainly chilling on the sofa. He was just about to turn around and leave, when you hectically gestured for him to stay.

“Hey, Loki! 😊” you wrote on a notepad, holding it up for him to read.

“Greetings...” he spoke between gritted teeth, but your smile wouldn’t falter, so he stood rooted in the middle of the room.

“Do you want to watch a movie together?” How blunt could you be to ask a literal god directly, just like that?!

“Actually, I-” When your eyes met, Loki cut himself off, the words being caught in his throat. “Well, if you’re in dire need of my sublime company...”

You were quick to sit up straight, offering a bowl with popcorn to the Odinson which he curiously accepted. When he answered your question about what sweets they eat on Asgard, he wouldn’t understand why you’d laugh. Apparently ‘nuts and grapes’ are not considered treats on earth. Got it.

Yet that little huff you blew out of your nose instead of making an actual laughing sound came somewhat endearing to him, especially in contrast to your other noisy companions. “Adorable...”

Without even asking first, you’d wrap the other half of the blanket around Loki, effectively closing the gap between you two.

“Wha- I’m not cold!” he blurted out, visibly overchallenged by the sudden closeness. “I’m a Jotun, hel!”

What was he even so worked up about? Geeze...

“But the weather on Asgard is rather humid, right?” you wrote down, with him nodding approvingly. "It allows all kinds of flowers to blossom, other than this metal brick” he explained, your excited look not failing to keep him talking. “You should see it some time.”

Loki’s eyes were now locked on the screen, and you could basically grasp his homesicknes, very well aware that a failure and war criminal like him would never be tolerated in those holy grounds ever again.

Great...now you had achieved the exact opposite of what you wanted.

You tugged on his arm so he’d shift your attention to you again, quickly writing something with a barely there sulk on your face:

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you sad.”

Tears were already forming on the rim of your eyes, making Loki’s insides churn. “So sensitive...gods. Keep yourself together, would you.”

The Odinson instinctively wrapped an arm around you, his free hand petting your head as he pulled it to his chest. He was awfully warm for a frost giant, and his heart was hammering against his chest in a fastened pace - maybe just your imagination, though.

“Well, it’s winter...” he uttered, acting as if he actually cared about the plot of the movie. “I may not freeze, but you seemed cold. That’s all.”

You let your hand run across his collarbone, making him look down to you once again. He bit his lip as his icy glare met your warm one, eyes shimmering with earnest affection while you formed silent words with your lips:

“T-h-a-n-k y-o-u.”

“N-no need to thank me.” Just now Loki wondered what kind of spell you were using on him, being reduced to a shaking and stuttering mess.

No curse, no beauty ever before had bewitched him so much that he would lose his cool, let anyone peek under his confident mask, after all.

Not so long ago, when he was still considered the handsome Prince of Asgard, he would bed a different lover on each night, though never settling for anyone.

And after the revelation of his true heritage, even those fleeting encounters to ease his loneliness would falter - all that’s left was certainty that the theory he had ever since his childhood had proven to be true: 

That everyone had always secretly despised him, the failure of the family and disgrace to all of Asgard. Only through his Jotun blood they had found a reason to not play along with the royal courtesy anymore, showing their resentment up in the open.

But you...you looked at him with completely different eyes than anyone ever did.

Maybe he had become softer, weaker over time - or simply more mature. His mother once told him to seize the moment when someone truly special would cross his way, and to never let them go.

“We could do this more often.” You shoved the notepad in his line of sight, and just now he noticed that two hours had sure passed in an incredible speed.

Just the two of you, cuddled up on the sofa, enjoying each other’s presence instead of dealing with the troublesome past.

“Well...” Loki clawed into your upper arm softly, no intention of letting you out of his grasp already. “I am sure your other companions are more fun to be around. As you most likely already noticed, I am known for ruining the mood.”

Loki had a habit of talking ill about himself, and letting himself down as well. Yet as he saw you eagerly scribble on the notepad, he knit his brows together, impatient to what you’d say next.

“But I want to see you.” The word ‘you’ was written in a thicker font, underlined several times.

“Why?”, that was the first and only thing crossing his mind. And yet there you sat, shoving the notepad into his face with a stern look on your face.

Loki was rooted on spot as you put the notepad on the table, instead laying your hands on his cheeks and softly tugging on the edge of his lips. “S-m-i-l-e!”

“E-enough!” he carefully pushed your hands away, afraid you’d detect the mild blush on his face. “Then it shall be. What did you have in mind?”

“Whatever you want.”

Loki finally arrived at the library to return his books, even though with a few hours delay. Realizing just how much he had enjoyed that spontaneous meeting with you, he began to panic.

Was it really a good idea to repeat this?

He was almost 100% certain that it would only end in him ruining your trust in anyone completely, if he’d ever allow you to come close to his core.

Due to him having saved you back then, you probably see him as something better than he actually was - and gods, how disappointed you’ll be once you’d find out what he really is like...

It was probably for the best if this would never happen, with him just keeping on to admire you from afar...

After a while of just staring into the void, mentally debating about your offer, he couldn’t help the fact that he was already looking forwards to meeting you again.

Uncertain how to approach the matter, Loki was at least eager to show you his goodwill.

For you have been the first person who - despite everything he had done - was willing to give him another chance.

"Greetings. I need every available book about sign language.”

[mojjisxng]

hold me like you wanna | sunghoon x reader

genre- angst, fluff, sort of enemies to lovers

warnings- a single curse word lmao, angst (themes of self hatred)

word count- 1.3k+

no capital letters intended

a/n- I FINALLY DID IIIIT!!! writer’s block has really been fucking me up lately, so i’m proud that i’ve actually done this. it’s probably a little short and won’t be very good, but i’m not angry with it. this scenario is based off of the song ‘hold me like you wanna’ by somebody’s child. i put in some of the lyrics throughout (but they’re not i order). i hope you enjoy it 🥺

- issy💕

[9:35pm]

just another normal wednesday evening at dance practice, you know except the fact that i was crying over- no, having a mental breakdown over the boy i both hated and loved the most. park sunghoon. you see, i’ve had a huge crush on him for so many years, but he’s always been so unreachable due to being the most popular boy in school. his utter perfection really began to peeve me and i let all my frustration and insecurity build up. well, up until we had to work on a school project together anyway; that’s when i totally messed everything up, even though i never realised it in the moment. i was so horrible to him while we were working together, making snide comments here and there. this became a regular thing between us both; it had gotten so bad that we had become the worst of enemies. despite all of this, i could no longer pretend and broke down, alone in that practice room.

You're acting like a kid

“why are you crying, dumbass? you look like a stupid little kid who dropped their ice cream.”

i snapped out of my reverie and glanced towards the source of the voice that i know all too well, tears still streaming down my face.

“oh shit- you’re CRYING crying. what’s wrong?”

“you wouldn’t understand,” i retorted.

“try me.”

And you tried your best, and you don't succeed

and that’s when the dam broke and all my twisted up emotions started to unravel and overflow; “i just hate feelings things, all right! i can’t stand feeling so insecure about myself and how i can’t match up to everyone else. even though i try my best with everything, i’m not pretty enough, not loud enough, not smart enough and not even kind enough to ever be loved by anyone; and i hate myself so much for it!” at this point, i was yelling, more in frustration at myself than sunghoon, my face was wet with bucket loads of tears and my fists were clenched too.

I don't want you to feel like I did so...

sunghoon’s soft voice brought me back down to earth, “hey hey just breathe okay, it’ll help you calm down.”

“why are you even being nice to me sunghoon, have you forgotten that you hate me?”

“i don’t hate you y/n, and you’re struggling right now, i don’t want to see you like this, even though you really piss me off,” he remarked as he sank down against the wall. i was trying to process what sunghoon had just said, when he solemnly added “come here.” i tentatively shuffled over to him, apprehensive of what he was going to do. was he going to shout at me, hurt me, laugh at me- oh, he just pulled me to sit in between his legs. all of my muscles froze because i was so shocked at his newfound tenderness. he clearly noticed how tense i was, as he rubbed a hand on my back and explained himself, “i just want to comfort you or whatever because you just sound so broken. it’s weirding me out, you never act like this. what’s wrong y/n, tell me. like were you rejected or something?”

i absolutely could not tell sunghoon the truth because he’d just despise me even more, so i had to vaguely tip-toe around what i truly wanted to say to him.

“no, not exactly. i’m just feeling a lot of things right now. one of those feelings should be something positive, well it usually is for other people anyway. but for me, it’s not an exciting emotion; it just brings me pain everyday. as it consumes me, it makes me feel nauseous and anxious without fail, yet it will only bring more harm if i act on it. it’s just another thing in life that i’m failing miserably at. i just want to give up, i feel too inadequate for anything good to happen to me,” i lamented, in total dejection, as my silent tears dropped onto the wood floor.

You don't have to say anything

the air was still between me and sunghoon for a beat too long, so i looked up, only to be met with a glassy-eyed sunghoon staring at me in pity. “y/n, stop! don’t say things like that; you’re breaking my heart. i loathe that you can say thing like that about yourself. you’re more than what you say you are, even i know that.”

“why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? keep being vicious to me, that’s all i’m worthy of. i don’t deserve true happiness because i’m just a bitter and lonely girl, who takes out her own insecurities on other people!” my body was shaking as i cried and i could not look at sunghoon, it was too humiliating.

but even after the lifetime of self doubt that i held inside spilling out, sunghoon only gently tugged me closer to him, so that i was curled against his chest. he then asserted with utmost confidence, “you deserve the world y/n, actually no, you deserve the whole universe. i know you don’t believe me, probably because you don’t seem to like me very much, but i like you. i like you a lot. so when you started to act negatively around me, i was extremely upset so i reciprocated the malicious behaviour. but hey, it never stopped me from liking you and it sucks that i caused you so much inner conflict. my god this is so embarrassing.”

to say i was gob-smacked would be a complete understatement. the knowledge that he actually liked me, whether i believed it or not, made me feel even more guilty so i started to divulge the truth, “no no no you can’t possibly like me, you’re too good for me, like totally out of my league. oh god oh god OH GOD i’m such a mess...the only reason i started being mean to you was because your perfection irked me so much, that it made me enraged at you. i didn’t want to feel so defeated, so i made an enemy of you instead.”

“oh y/n, you were never one for being up front and simple,” sunghoon chuckled, “but at least we both know that our feelings are mutual.” he didn’t even give me a chance to answer, as he caressed my cheek with one hand, and placed the other on the back of my neck to pull my face closer to his, taking my breath away. he closed the gap between us, moving his plush lips against mine. when i realised what was actually happening, i returned the kiss. however, all good things have to end, and let me tell you, the kiss felt like it ended just as fast as it had started.

we fell deep into each other’s eyes, dumb smiles etched onto our faces and a blush painted onto our cheeks. i was the first one to break the silence this time around, “so ummm sunghoon, i know we got off to a rocky start, but would you be willing to give us a go? what i’m trying to say is, do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow, to ummm that popular café down the street o-or s-something?”

“there’s no other way i’d want to spend tomorrow,” sunghoon affirmed, “but right now all i want to do is stay right here with you in my arms and make up for lost time.”

Just hold me like you wanna

[diavolosthots]

Hello, you super amazing human! I had a request, if that’s okay? If you’re not too sick of writing Satan and/or responding to my requests (I love your writing. Unashamedly), would you maybe want to write out some headcannons on what mutual pining between Mc x Satan look like? I kind of love a little angst with a happy ending....but I’m always super happy with whatever you come up with. 😊 Much love and respect as always 💗 You are wonderful!

Yeah, here it is, thanks for waiting

Warning: angst -> happy ending

Our Poem ( SATAN X GN!READER )

A story like those in the novels. A story like those you hear from lovers long gone. A story that makes you yearn for something more. Even more specifically, a poem that makes you feel and crave for that which we do not own, nor could ever hope to belong with. That’s what he wanted. A poem of a life; a story which he could tell someone, anyone, in the most beautiful way possible. Maybe not anyone… no. Just you. But then again, he wanted for you to be the poem, so was there any need to tell you? Why won’t you start being the poem for him? More importantly, why can’t he pick up his own pen and start writing it himself? There’s nothing keeping him from it, and yet, it seems, he always hit a barrier when he started. 

It was like, every time he tried to reach out, you would turn away. It was like, his hand brushing yours but you then being grabbed by someone who shouldn’t have been part of the story, who didn’t rhyme well in the poem. And painfully said, it was like you didn’t even care about it; always laughing and brushing it off as a silly coincidence. Who knew you could be so popular, right? Who knew one singular person could just hurt someone without really touching them. 

But, isn’t that how you felt too? How you yearned for him as well? The silent one. The unreachable one. The one who kept so much within himself, more than anyone should ever have to carry. You craved to take some of that burden. Craved to place your hands on his heart and hold it ever so gently, because that’s what he deserves. You wanted to hold him at night, or let him hold you, whichever he wanted. You wanted to give him the option of choosing; to give him a choice in everything because by God, he deserves it. 

Yet, it seemed so difficult to reach out to him. When he wasn’t isolated, he was angry. When he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t at home. When he was at home, he suddenly isolated himself. It’s like an endless cycle that you couldn’t break him out of. Of course, then there was also Asmodeus’ constant babbling about the nights they spent partying together, and you couldn’t help it. The ping of jealousy you felt made it hard to think clearly about the situation at hand. He was unreachable, at least that’s how you felt more often than not. 

Imagine him thinking the same about you. 

What would it be? The endless attempts that seemed to be so wrongly timed, or a spontaneous chance taken at the risk of your heart shattering? More importantly, which one of you would call the shots of these scenarios? You were too unsure, too lost in the ‘what ifs’ and ‘he’d just think of me as average, anyway’, but he was also lost. Would it be like he imagines it to be? Would it be any different? Can he even paint it out for himself when he doesn’t know what exactly might be?

It was painful. The longing gazes and the open mouths trying to speak words of the heart. Neither of you ever spoke, though, and maybe that was the most painful part about it. He hated seeing you with his brothers; you hated the thought of him with anyone else. Neither of you hated it enough to voice it to the other, so was it even worth it? 

Satan decided it was, dragging you off and away into his room after Mammon tried another measly attempt at flirting with you. He should’ve just smitten his brother right then and there, but what kind of potential lover would he be if he just let his anger take over? You, however, were shocked at his sudden action, suddenly overwhelmed by his warm hand in yours. Would it always be this warm? Something told you he was usually cold to the touch. He, too, took notice of the way your hand felt in his. The softness, maybe a few bumps here and there, but definitely the way it seemed to perfectly match his. 

Really, you should’ve known he would lead you to his room; he doesn’t spend much time anywhere else. But what you didn’t expect were to see his eyes full of hurt; full of pain. “Do you like him? Mammon? I need to know.” He needs to know? He just stood there, looking at you and awaiting an answer. He seemed to be filled with patience, but depending on your answer, you knew there lied a sea of uneasiness and wrath beneath. “I… no, of course not.” He was still looking at you, almost expecting you to go on or call him crazy for wanting to know more about your personal life, but instead, you reached out to him gently, taking his other hand too. 

“I just...I just want to drag you away from them all. I just want to keep you to myself. I just want to be selfish and cruel, toward everyone, when it comes to you, not because of wrath, but because of love. I want to hold you every day, of every year, of every life. I just want to kiss you, and be there for you. I just want to adore you like I’ve read in so many stories. I just want you and me to write the poem of our love, together. I just...want you.” 

His confession took you back a bit. He was being so honest, so easy with it as if he had planned it for a while, and maybe he had. “Satan…” “But I don’t want you to feel like you need to love me back. I don’t want to make you feel like a fish in an aquarium. You don’t have to love me too, I just want an answer so I can stop craving the thing I may never be able to have. “ Your smile was so soft, so gentle, that he found himself drowning in it, like he had so many times before. Your hands… they slid up his arms, around his neck, and suddenly your lips were on his and it was sweeter, more moving like any time he had ever imagined it. 

You rested your forehead against his, eyes still closed as you breathed out against his lips, “No… I love you too.” And suddenly that was the only melody he wanted to hear. Warmth spread through him like the sun against one’s skin on a July afternoon. This, he thought, was the beginning. The beginning of your poem. 

[iachan03]

Spring will arrive/Chronos Rose

BNHA Spring Event

(Amajiki Tamaki x Reader)

-What do you want to do once spring arrives?

-Hmm...When spring arrives… Let’s go see the flowers again…

XXX

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST

And fluff

Dedicated to my fellow Tamaki lover @briswriting​

Most photos belong to me, as I really went to those places myself.

I’m so sorry for being so late!! I had writer’s block for the last week and it took me a while… Please do forgive me!!! TwT

This is the BNHA Spring event by @bnhaclaimedmysoul​

XXX

Chronos Rose, inspired by the character Emiya Assassin from the mobile game Fate/Grand Order’s Noble Phantasm “Chronos Rose: Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May”

XXX

Insipration song:  

「春はゆく」Haru wa Yuku ‘The Passing of Spring’ & Last Stardust

Both by Aimer

XXX

It was before I even like butterflies.

I don’t exactly remember how old I was back then, but I definitely  remember every single second of it.

It was a distant dream.

An utopia.

One that seems unreachable.

Seemingly thanks to the red string of fate.

During June, my parents brought me to Furano, Hokkaido.

To see the famous Tomita farm’s lavenders.

Lavenders.

The representation of purity, silence, devotion serenity, grace and calmness.

The melons there were super sweet and juicy, the ice cream on top just makes everything better as the dazzling sun shines.

Gift shops sold products of lavender scent.

Notebooks, pillows, perfume, dolls and more.

Some have the capability of keeping insects away.

Others are wildly popular for its light fragrance.

However, those weren’t what I remember the most.

In the sea of flowers.

In that wonderland of vibrant colours.

There, I met eyes with you.

And the colour of your pupils is what I remembered the clearest.

Spring will arrive

XXX

Back then, I didn’t have the courage to ask your name.

Time passed, as spring came.

My parents took me to the Osaka Castle, for the tradition that all Japanese follow.

Ohanami.

Flower Viewing.

Sakuras.

Renewal and optimism.

The beginning of spring.

The light pink coloured sakuras upon the trees.

The chattering of families, workers and friends who also came to this place.

Just to enjoy the wonders of spring.

The bento that we bought from the station was delicious.

Not to mention the sweet apple juice.

Under the warm sunlight we sat.

I stared at the view as the sakura petals slowly fall from the trees as the wind blows.

It was magical.

Just like a fairy tale.

As I was entranced by the beauty around me,

I then realised that I missed out the most beautiful thing in the painting.

You.

Once again, our eyes met.

This time, I swallowed my fear and allowed myself to ask you.

“What’s your name?”

You replied back with a smile.

One that I wanted to protect with my life.

On that day, I silently wished.

I want to be with you until the end of time.

Spring will arrive

XXX

For a couple of years, I haven’t managed to see you.

I missed you.

I wanted to see those eyes staring upon me.

As selfish as that is.

But in the end, that wish was granted.

As if blessed by the god of the enmusubi.

The red string of fate has connected us once again.

The year that I moved from my home town to an entire new environment.

I was nervous.

I couldn’t even properly introduce myself.

But as I wondered what I was suppose to do.

Mirio and you came into my life.

The person who I saw as dazzling as the sun.

And the person who was more stunning than any flowers that I have laid my eyes upon.

“We meet again, Tamaki-kun.”

Ah, how much I love the way you say my name.

Just like a butterfly attracted by a flower.

That’s right.

After all, I am that butterfly.

Spring will arrive.

XXX

This is a story.

A story of you and me.

Upon the journey known as life.

Everything in the universe will come to an end someday.

No matter how much we try to deny it.

Death will come upon us.

It is just a matter of time.

When the reaper knocks on our door.

Humans fear death the longer we live.

How ironic is it?

But I pray,

Even when the time comes,

It will be when the two of us are together.

And had lived our lives without regret.

Spring will arrive

XXX

“Huh... Tamaki-kun's quirk is manifest, allows you to make the suff you eat reappear?”

“Uh... Y-Yeah...”

“That’s awesome! So like, when you eat a crab, you’ll get crab claws?”

“That’s right...”

“I’m jealous... That’s a really great quirk...”

“You don’t like your quirk?”

“Well... It’s more like, I don’t exactly know what my quirk does...” “Hmm?”

“All quirks are suppose to have limitations, right? But I don’t know what’s mine because it’s never seen before...”

“...”

“I’m capable of moving really fast... But the doctor tells me that it’s best not to use it too much... Geez... I also want to train my quirk though...”

Those words of yours made me wanted to do something for you.

Anything.

As long as you will be able to replace that frown with a smile.

I would be willing to do anything.

Spring will arrive.

XXX

“Alright, ready, or not! Here I come!!”

It was just a normal day.

We were playing tag in a park after school.

It was your turn to be ‘it’.

Me and Mirio hid behind the slide and bushes respectively.

“I’ll find you guys real quick with my quirk-”

It was then I realised that something was wrong.

You never finished that sentence.

Mirio also seemed to realise that something was out of place.

We immediately left our hiding places.

Only to see in horror that.

You were moving at a pace that was on par of a snail.

Wasn’t your quirk about letting you go faster?!

What’s going on?!

“(Y/N)! What is happening to you?!”

Your expression slowly changed to one of horror.

You were scared.

I have to do something.

But I just stood there.

Petrified.

“(Y/N)! Turn off your quirk for now!” Mirio shouted in worry.

As you did, and your body return back, it was as if the strings of a puppet went loose.

You began to fall.

It was then I was able to move my body.

And I lunged forward to catch you before you fall onto the ground.

You were out like a light.

Mirio rushed to search for any adults nearby for help.

I could only shake as I cry without stop.

I don’t want to lose you.

Please.

Anybody...

Help her...

Spring will arrive

XXX

“It seems that your quirk allows you to control your own flow of time... Meaning, you can go faster, accelerate, or slow down your biological processing, stagnate...”

“Doctor, I’m sorry... I used my quirk for other purposes...”

She smiled at you as she patted your head.

“It’s fine... But you really gave your friends a scare, you know? Just make sure not to do that again, ok?”

“Okay…”

The doctor had overseen you ever since you were in your mother’s belly, and ever since, she was your go-to doctor.

Needless to say, she cares for you a lot.

“Also, (Y/N), allow me to say this...”

She wrapped her arms around you as she enveloped you into a hug.

“In the end, we’re only humans... The manipulation of time is beyond what we’re allowed to do, quirk or not... We should never play god...”

“So please... Before we know the true nature of your quirk, please don’t use it if not necessary...”

The warmth from her body...

Her soft words filled with care...

You closed your eyes as you let out a soft hum.

“Hmm... I got it...”

…

Years passed.

Despite with the unknown factors of my quirk.

I still wished to become a hero…

I knew, with my speed, I can save a lot of people…

So at times, I would ignore the doctor’s words.

And use my quirk once a week in order to practice…

Little by little…

Dust to dust.

Earth to earth.

I…

Shouldn’t have done that…

Spring will arrive.

XXX

The three of us grew up together.

As Mirio struggled to control his quirk.

I lessen the times I use my quirk.

And Tamaki struggled with his anxiety.

Quirk Education is where the three of us were struggling with.

The three of us want to get into UA.

If I had to say, Tamaki had the largest chance of getting in...

Mirio went the other way back home as me and Tamaki continued our way.

I let out a sigh before looking at Tamaki.

“To think that you will say that Mirio’s the sun… That’s somehow romantic in a way…”

“W-Wha are you- O-Of course not!! It’s nothing like that!!!”

“Hahaha, I just feel like teasing you, your reactions are the best after all…”

“…”

“Hey, Tamaki...”

“…?”

“If I can’t make it to UA, I think that I’m going to apply to Shiketsu…”

“That far away?! And…”

Stop…

“I mean, unlike the two of you, it’s not like that my quirk isn’t useful, but rather, my condition, you know…?”

“…”

Please… stop…

“Sometimes I feel that… Perhaps I shouldn’t even-”

“Stop! Just… Please…”

“…Tamaki…?”

“Please… Stop talking about yourself in such a low matter…”

That’s right… You’re not like what you say you are…

“You’re amazing… Despite everything… You managed to smile from the bottom of your heart…So please… Don’t say such things about yourself…”

“In that rainbow coloured flower field, under those cherry blossoms… What I remembered wasn’t any of those… But you…”

I stepped towards the boy who had his eyes shut as he blurted out those words of his.

Right next to his ear, I whispered.

“Tamaki, was that a confession…?”

His face, saying that it was as red as a tomato would be an understatement.

Steam was practically coming out from his face, his brain melting down, threatening to faint at any second.

“You know Tamaki…?”

“Back then, what I remembered back then, was you as well…”

A butterfly, attracted to the most beautiful flower…

Spring will arrive.

XXX

Me and Tamaki were together as we got into UA.

Mirio was so happy that he didn’t had to set us up or something, which Tamaki was really glad that he didn’t.

Throughout our first and second years in UA, Tamaki learnt to use his quirk really well.

While I, decided to strengthen on my physical abilities, so that when I use my quirk, I can deliver more and stronger blows on the villains.

Mirio, through the teachings of Sir. Nighteye and hard work, had became the strongest of the three of us.

Me and Tamaki’s relationship was the sweetest.

We would always have dates after school and weekends, let it just be cuddling in one of our houses or enjoying a relaxing picnic.

It was more than I could ever wish for.

Hado Nejire and Haya Yuyu came to our lives as well.

Despite being at a different class from Mirio, we would often have lunch together and head home as well.

I wasn’t part of the Big 3, but I would always tag along.

As time flew by, we were met with the last beginning of spring in our UA school lives.

“3rd years… Hey, hey! Time surely had flew by, am I right, Togata~?”

“It sure did! Man, I’m starting to feel old…”

“Just what the heck are you saying…?”

“Haha, I was just joking…”

“Hey guys, weird question, but have you guys ever thought of a graduation trip?”

“A graduation trip?”

“That’s right! Graduates usually go on a trip with their friends in order to celebrate, you know! It’ll be totally fun!! What do you guys say?”

“But where should we even go…”Mirio wondered our loud.

“B-Besides… Do we have enough money…?”Tamaki stuttered.

“We got our work studies (internships in the JP version)!! So it’s fine, we’ll just save up!!”Nejire reassured.

“How about we go to Osaka Castle to hanami?” I suggested, making Tamaki flinch.

“That sounds great!”

“Sure, why not!”

After the conversation, Tamaki dragged me to a more secluded area.

“W-Why did you…”

“That’s because I want to revisit the places that I fell in love with you, is it that hard?”

“A-Ah, no…”

“After we go flower viewing with the others, let’s go see the flower fields at Furano again at summer, alright?”

“Yeah… Let’s do that…”

A promise.

Something that the both of us yearn.

Spring will arrive

XXX

Both me and Tamaki had been interning for Fatgum, as a way to calm him down at times needed.

Fatgum would always tease the hell out of Tamaki while he tries to hide himself further into his cape.

As Kirishima tagged along, the four of us were likes big family.

I remember the time when he first came to the agency and got stuck into Fatgum, the BMI hero even joked saying that he was Totoro.

And the meal to fortify themselves, oh god…

I went to a quick bathroom break before it began, and…

Those two…

Geez, I know that both of their quirks require a lot of food…

But it doesn’t mean that they have to stuff Kirishima with all that food that Fatgum had advertised for!!

And seriously, don’t tell the kid that you can put mayonnaise on anything!!!!!!

…

Ahem

Anyways.

Everything was fine until we finally went for patrol.

Tamaki and I teamed up using our quirks to restrain and deal the blow to knock the villain out that escaped Fatgum respectively.

And the crowd was cheering for the both of us, of course, being the shy bean he is, Tamaki wished that he could melt into the ground.

I, did the natural thing- hug him in order for him to calm down as I patted his back.

As the sounds from the background drown out, a chill to my bone immediately sent me on alarm as my instincts kicked in.

“He’s got a gun!! Get down!!!”

As the both of us were in a hugging position, I was shielding Tamaki’s body in one way.

I closed my eyes, preparing for the worst as I know that if I dodged that, Tamaki would take the blow instead.

And yet…

Bang!

A familiar white cape covers me, as its owner, faster than he has ever been, flashes in front of my eyes.

…

Tamaki took the blow for me.

In horror, I watched him as he dropped to the ground.

No…

And with a loud thud, everything seemed to be speeding up again.

“Senpai!! Look out!!!”

And Kirishima took the next shot.

No… Wait…

“It bounced off?!”

“I’ll chase after him!!! I’m leaving Suneater to you!!”

“Wait, Red Riot!!”

That was the last thing I heard properly as I shook Tamaki’s body desperately.

“Tamaki!! Get a hold of yourself!!! Please!!! I-”

And by some miracle, he got up as if it was nothing.

“Huh…? It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would…”

I immediately hugged him tight, effectively rendering him speechless.

Tears just drip from my face like waterworks.

From that day on, I finally realised the fear.

The fear known as death.

Someday, we will all die.

That should be obvious.

But...

This was the first time that the reaper was this close from knocking on the door of the person I love.

God, or anybody who can hear me saying this.

Please, as selfish as this is...

Please do not ever take Tamaki away from me...

I...

Pray for it, deeply in my heart.

Even though, that wish is utterly useless.

I still hoped for it.

In the end, we are humans.

We are not allowed to play god.

Spring will arrive.

XXX

The battle to save a little girl was harsh.

There were heroes who got quite injured...

We lost a lot of things that day.

One lost their quirk.

One lost their life.

And some lost the person they hold the dearest.

This society was never pretty.

The path of the hero is not humane.

They say,

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.

Perhaps.

I knew that from the beginning.

But that’s why.

We fight.

In order to see the moments where the people we care about are happy.

No matter how small or short they are.

We yearn for that.

On that day,

I used my quirk multiple times.

It was straining my body, I knew that.

But it doesn’t give me any excuse to back down.

I ignored my body’s calls for help.

I look over the fact that I was getting even more weaker every time I use it.

At the end of the fight.

I went out like a light.

Once again.

...

When I woke up.

I was once again in the hospital that my go-to doctor was.

“(Y/N)... How many times have you used your quirk?”

I didn’t knew the exact answer, but I came up with the closet number I could think of.

She then looked at me as if it was the answer that she didn’t wish for it to be.

“Doctor...?”

“...(Y/N)...Please calm down when you listen to this... I know it’s a lot, but...”

“Your quirk, we finally know what’s it all about.” “!!”

“What you’re capable of doing doesn’t change, but rather the concept of it, is different.”

“You’re exchanging your lifespan to serve as the energy for you to manipulate time, meaning, you’re borrowing your own time from the future...”

“...”

“In conclusion...Every time you use your quirk... You lose approximately 3 months of your lifespan... And...” “...”

Somehow, I had a feeling that it would come to this.

Throughout the years, my body became even more weaker.

But I didn’t want to believe it.

Nor do I want to face it.

It’s like lying to yourself when you’re eating something really bitter and you try to convince yourself that it’s sweet.

And the consequences of my cowardness, was this.

I ignored the doctor’s continuing rambling as I cut in.

“Doctor, how much more longer will I be able to live?”

She stopped at her tracks, as she was pacing around the room.

Reading my expression, she understood that I had already accepted my fate.

She looked down, out of the guilt that she couldn’t find out about this sooner. It was as if she didn’t want to say it, as if once she said it, it will come true.

She clenched her fist before managing to mumble the words out.

“If you stop using your quirk, then you’ll barely make it til summer...”

It was autumn now, I am going to be alive for lesser than a year.

But somehow, I felt relieved.

“(Y/N), if you use your quirk one more time, you’ll most likely won’t be able to last until spring.”

“!!”

“(Y/N)… Even though it’s already too late... Please drop out of UA, not just for your sake, but for the ones around you.”

I shook my head.

“I can’t do that, doctor... After all, I want to graduate with them...”

That’s right.

Even if the end is near.

At least, let me live a life without regrets.

I am going to fulfil that promise.

“...I’m going to call your quirk Chronos, since it is related to time manipulation, is it alright-”

“Please add ‘Rose’ at the end of it.”

“?”

“Rose... After all, this power... Is a double-edged sword...Just like even though a rose is beautiful... It has thorns...”

Spring will arrive.

XXX

Winter arrived and we changed into our winter versions of hero costumes.

The four of us were patrolling as usual, Tamaki and Kirishima went on ahead, leaving me and Fatgum alone.

“So, when are you planning to tell him?”

…

“Doctor told you?”

“I was the one who brought you to your doctor, of course I would know your condition.”

I sighed before looking up to the pro hero.

“Well, let’s just say that I plan on doing it after graduation.”

“After the trip to Osaka Castle that you guys were planning.”

“Yeah...”

…

“It’s really considerate of you to think of their well-being, but do you think that you’re in the position to think of others before yourself?”

“...Who knows...?”

“He’s going to hurt once he realises that you hadn’t told him about it.”

“Those four would probably burn the world if it means saving me... All I want is a happy last memory that we all can wholeheartedly enjoy... So please Fatgum...”

“...”

The man sigh before giving up.

“I really don’t get kids these days... But you got my word, (Y/N), just make sure that you won’t regret your decision.”

“Oh, I had already regret enough of my life, Fatgum... From not listening to doctor’s advice of not using my quirk... To not being a better girlfriend to Tamaki...”

“(Y/N).”

“I promise, I won’t regret this.”

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, they say.

Spring will arrive.

XXX

Another fight.

One on a much more larger scale.

Both sides had lost their allies.

I was sent along the frontlines due to my capability with Tamaki.

Even without my quirk, I excel in hand-to-hand combat, on the level exceeding most pros.

The battle was nowhere near finished.

Yet our stamina was wearing out more than it was suppose to.

And, that came in at the worst timing.

A handgun.

Tamaki had taken down more villains than I could count.

So he was an immediate target.

Yet due to his worn out state, he didn’t notice it.

Fatgum, nor did any capable hero was nearby.

I knew, even if I try to warn Tamaki, it would be too late.

“After we go flower viewing with the others, let’s go see the flower fields at Furano again at summer, alright?”

“Yeah… Let’s do that…”

I knew.

I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew.

I knew that if I don’t save him right now, I wouldn’t even be able to dream about fulfilling that promise.

Who knows will I really be able to last til spring?

If spring doesn’t arrive for the both of us, what is the point of this?

…

The answer was obvious.

“Accelerate!!!”

Spring will arrive.

XXX

The day of graduation arrived.

After receiving our certificates, the photos.

I lead Tamaki to the backyard of school.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong?”

I smiled before holding out what I was hiding in my bag.

“Dun dun~ I ordered these dolls to be made, cute, right?”

“They’re the two of us...”

“That’s right, think of them as a graduation present~”

Tamaki held them tight before smiling at me.

“Thank you, (Y/N)…"

Hearing his words, I was relieved that I was able to hang on for so long.

“That’s... Great...”

Thump

“(Y/N)!!!!!!!”

The world was filled with black once again.

Just five days.

All I have to do is to last for five more days.

The day we had planned to head to the Osaka Castle.

And see the flowers.

The day, that I would be able to at least fulfil one of our promises.

Spring will arrive.

XXX

Why...?

“Hey, (Y/N), let’s go tomorrow! It doesn’t matter that we had already booked our tickets-”

“Why aren’t you guys mad at me?!”

Surprised by my sudden outburst, Nejire was cut off.

I was in the hospital once again, everyone was told of my situation.

They knew that I hid the truth from them.

And yet…

“Just why…? Why aren’t you guys frustrated at me?!”

“I hid the truth!! I lied to you guys!!!”

It’s strange, right, usually, people would beg for forgiveness, yet here I am, begging to be scolded, for my sins.

And yet, it wasn’t granted. The guilt in my heart only grew.

Nejire smiles as she moved to envelop me in a hug.

“Isn’t that obvious? That’s because we love you, (Y/N)…”

I couldn’t hold back my tears as I let them fall, Nejire tried to calm me down as she continued hugging me.

“Emm…Hado-san, Haya-san, Mirio… Do you mind heading out for a bit…?”

It was weird to hear Tamaki’s tone like this, but I Mirio got up from his seat as he pushed the two girls out.

“You got it! We’ll let you guys alone for a bit~”

…

“Tamaki… Or you perhaps angry at me-”

“How can I be angry at you when I’m the one at fault?!”

“!!”

“I was by your side since we were kids!! And yet I hadn’t notice that you were suffering… Not to mention, if I had paid attention back then, then you wouldn’t have to-”

“Tamaki, it was my decision back there to save you.”

“I thought of the worst scenario, perhaps you won’t be shot at somewhere fatal and we would probably be fine… But… I didn’t want to take any chances…”

“Just the thought of living in a world that you don’t exist seemed, meaningless to me, so then I thought, if I had the power to save you and if I didn’t do it, I would never forgive myself…”

“Which is why, if both are going to die, why don’t I at least save one of them since-”

“DON’T SAY IT!!”

…

“Please… don’t say that you’re going to die anyways…”

“… This is reality Tamaki, sadly, this is no nightmare…”

“… I know…”

…

…

…

“Chronos Rose.”

“?”

“That’s the name of my quirk, it means: Gather ye rosebuds while ye may…”

“Also… Chronos is the Greek God of time…”

“And the rose…?”

...

“...Tamaki... As a butterfly, you got too close... A rose has thorns... Get too close and you’ll only get hurt...”

“...”

“I’m sorry... I should have told you earlier...”

…

Tamaki remained silent.

He was holding back his sobs, but his whimpers still managed to come out, no matter how hard he tried to suppress them.

…

“What do you want to do once spring arrives?”

With just that one question of his, I feel myself trembling once again.

I sigh, as I looked towards the window.

“Hmm...When spring arrives… Let’s go see the flowers again…”

...

“Yeah... I would love nothing more than that...”

Time flows, and the flower that smiles today shall wither away completely tomorrow.

So please, do what you must while you still can.

Time does not wait for one.

Spring will arrive.

XXX

“Ah~ The sakuras are truly beautiful...”Nejire hummed as we sat on a picnic mat we brought.

“That’s right... They bloom quite nice this year...”Yuyu agreed.

It was magical, just like all those years ago.

A fairytale, of you and me.

But sadly, this doesn’t have a happily ever after.

But at least...

“By the way, (Y/N), why did you want to come here? We can watch the sakuras back in Musutafu...”Mirio asked.

“This is the second time me and Tamaki met when we were kids, quite a coincidence, right?”

“What! That’s so romantic!! Tell us more, hey hey, tell us more!!”

“Nejire, calm down...”

But at least...

I managed to fulfil one of my promises.

It’s more than I could ever ask for...

Dust to dust, earth to earth, further beyond...

The remnants of my wish, please reach it...

Spring arrived.

XXX

Even then, you took my hand

And stood by my side

The first time I was held

I was greedy and so I was holding on to too much sadness

So I couldn’t wait for happiness anywhere anymore.

In the field of flowers, there stood Amajiki Tamaki.

The wind that scattered the flowers

Opens the door

And the seasons change

In this time that is slowly piling up

Happiness and pain are both the same

And both melt in our hands

My smiles and my atonement are only by your side.

In his hands, there clutched the dolls gifted by his loved one.

I cannot even disappear by myself

Because I’m weak and selfish

Carrying an unredeemable shadow

Our promised place is where the flowers bloom.

The wind blows softly, as he stared into the distance.

Without looking back at either sin or love, the spring goes one

All the brilliance is in the bright sky

Can you remain without forgiving me?

With a heavy heart, he opens his mouth.

I want to break; I want to be born again

I will smile by your side

I will at least stay by your side

Sending a gentle dream to my loved ones, a dream that says I’m happy

I will stay by your side.

“Hey, (Y/N), can you see this?”

I love you.

I am here with you

By your side

Those days feel like a dream…

“The flowers, are blooming...”

As the passing shower grew further, the evening wind faded away;  

Solitude alone stood by my side.  

I don’t mind if the things I think are right all turn out to be mistaken;  

As long as I’ve managed to protect what I believe in.  

Spring had arrived.

XXX

[kaibacxrps]

Introducing your partner

Discord thread with @kaibacorpbros / @indioragod ! CW: scandal.shipping.

It was one of his several returning trips since the first time he knocked down the doors to Atem's realm. They had gradually grown a little less arduous, but there were still plenty of bugs to work out with such a jump. Thus, a big reason why he brought along Diva. And besides, if he were getting the help of the ex-Plana member, he should probably at least know that the goal Seto had originally employed him for wasn't just some vague, unreachable dream.

But gods, it was nice to talk to Set again. He'd taken some time alone with the priest to update him on what had been going on in his and Mokuba's lives.

Except... one detail.

The detail they ran into at the end of their stroll. Wait, how long have we been talking? Diva must have gotten impatient and sought them out. It would have been hard to spot, for someone who hadn't grown to know him better, but Kaiba noticed how Diva's fingers were slightly curled and his posture a bit stiff. He was sure if he poked into the vitals the tech he was wearing was monitoring he'd find an increased pulse.

"I was looking for you. I ran into your rival, Seto."

Oh. That was it. Seto cleared his throat. "I see. Well, I'm sure he was glad to finally meet you." The CEO moved on from that point before Diva could say any more. Best to just introduce him, even though he didn't know the two had already run into each other.

"Erm, Set this is Diva, he--" 'Tried to kill me' probably wasn't the best way to introduce him. Or say he once turned into a big rage monster and did kill him, albeit briefly.

"He's a friend helping me improve the Dimension System and set up some way to communicate other than travelling all the way here each time." 

It was always a pleasure to receive Kaiba in the afterlife, at least for Set it has always been like that. How could he not? They have been through a lot, and have found a way to stay in touch - something that went against all the odds.

He felt so relieved to still be part of the brothers lives, albeit in a very restricted way. But it always felt nice hearing, what those two have been up to.

Meanwhile, he has been going through a lot lately as well. However, due to the nature of those things and out of fear of Kaiba's reaction, he would keep them a secret... For the time being. Thank the Gods, Seto never had any interest in his culture and costumes, otherwise he would be able to tell something at his first glance on him.

The priest slowed down his walking pace until he stopped, when Diva showed up. They didn't need any introductions, this was obvious in the way they exchanged glances.

The way Kaiba described Diva however, was humurous in the priest's eyes but at the same time pretty telling. Kaiba and friends?... Give him a break

"I see- oh don't worry about any formalities, Seto... Those aren't needed around here." A brief pause came in right afterwards what he had just said. "So... There won't be any trouble then? You'll be able to stay here for longer, right? It would be an honor, to have you for supper. I even went ahead, and have for it an animal I hunt earlier today."

As soon as the words left the priest's lips Diva shot a look at Kaiba. Do not.

But of couse, implication between humans was flawed, and even if it weren't Seto likely wouldn't have said no simply because he got to see Set so little.

"Correct, we should have..." the HUD glowed to life in front of Kaiba's eye, showing the status of the duel dimension machine. "A few more hours at least."

"Kaiba, what about that project?" Diva tried.

"Oh, it'll be fine. I got a lot done on it yesterday." With that dismission of Diva's concerns it was settled.

"We'd be greatful to stay for a meal." Seto gestured that they would follow the priest. "What did you catch by the way?" Not that Kaiba was much into the sport, but he knew Set took pride in it. And everything, seemed to ignore Diva's growing tension. One, if they got found out. Seto hadn't told the spirt yet--at least not that Diva knew of. Two, to add to the awkwardness he's pretty sure now that he met Atem, that some of the Pharaoh's attire was following a certain custom that Set's attire was also following.

Kaiba must not know what it meant.

But Diva just offers a polite smile, "I thank you for your hospitality then."

“Oh, you’ll definetely like it! This is something you most certainly, can’t find anywhere in Japan.” The priest pointed out with bright smile on his face, as he led the way and purposely ignored Diva’s obvious discomfort. Set couldn’t help but wonder, why that was the case. But he simply pushed those thoughts aside, so they wouldn’t waste anymore time around.

Every second counted, in these brief visits. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Atem had joined their reunion a few good hours into it, Mahad alongside with some other guards stood by as they simply followed with their tasks- duties. His bond with Kaiba was used as an excuse, for him to join them in it. “I simply wish to catch up on the news, straight from you Kaiba.” The man said, as he sat on the floor alongside them.

Set followed it with a slurred laughter, as he took another swing from his cup of beer. The priest laid sideways, in a very laid-back position as he kept smiling at his guests.“Anyway, as I was saying. I look back on my time at that boarding school with Kaiba, and what comes to my mind is those kids funny accent.”  Another laughter left him, as he sipped once more off his cup.

"It's just British English. I mean, I talk with one when using English by default unless I'm dealing with Americans." While it was true, it was obvious that there was no malice by Seto. Then, imitating a welsh accent, "Just be happy I didn't got to school with the Welsh or the Scottish," he joked in English.

Meanwhile, Diva's eyes discreetly glanced between the pharaoh and priest. Yes, he definitely wasn't seeing things. Of course, he knew it was a different set of customs back then, but he also highly doubted Seto knew.

More importantly though...

"You didn't tell me you went to boarding school," Diva said, keeping most of his attention on his food.

"It's in the past. And besides, it largely slips my mind." There was a shrug from the CEO as he adjusted how he was sitting. It had been a while since he'd eaten in such a way.

Diva decided to drop it for now, bringing his attention back to the priest. "Either way, that does sound like a wild time. It must have been a culture shock to be thrown into a new setting while you were still tied to Seto." 

“One day I found myself in some large and fancy looking mansion seemingly all by myself, and the following one I’m suddenly surrounded by kids about the same age as Seto. So I’d say, you’re right about that.” The priest responded in a slightly slurred tone, as a chuckle soon followed his words. The man fell silent so he coul take another swing off his drink.

So far, Atem was extremely quiet. It may not be the first time he heard most of those stories, but he pulled an act that gave off that impression. The pharaoh chewed on his food, as his gaze shifted from his lover priest to their living guests. “Set got to experience a lot more that your world had to offer than me, I only got to travel to America once and it was... Well...” His head shook to the sides, in an attempt to convey that things weren’t exactly what anyone would consider to be a vacation- without saying anything else.

However, he was soon interrupted by Set as he went ahead and named a few of the nations visited. “United Kingdom, France, Italy, America, Germany... Of course, Egypt! I was never truly sure, what to expect whenever we headed out.” Another chuckle left him.

While his spouse spoke, Atem shot a brief glance at Diva- and he noticed something felt off in the way he was staring at him. It didn’t take long for him to piece things together, as he was reminded of the fact that hailed from Egypt as well.

At this point, it was impossible to hide things from Diva... At least Kaiba, still seemed to be oblivious. Hopefully, he should be smart enough to not point out the obvious- between him and the priest.

“What else do you wish to know about Seto, Diva?” Set teased, while he poured some more alcohol for himself. 

There's an air of awkward silence from Kaiba at Atem's words. It had certainly been far from a pleasant time for him either--not that he'd ever admit it to the pharaoh. Though, the CEO was starting to slightly worry that Set was getting a little too tipsy for such discussions.

His suspicions were confirmed when the priest volunteered up information to Diva. Ugh, he never should have brought him along.

Diva, on the other hand, was brought out of his scrutinizing of the pharaoh at Set's question. "Well, if you're offering..." his voice was quiet and polite, but Seto knew that tone meant trouble.

"Then I suppose I'd like to know if it's even possible that he acted like he had a worse stick up his ass back then. For I was lucky enough to met him later and skipped most of that."

"Diva, I will poison your food and leave you here."

A chuckle left the ex-Plana. This dance was a repeated and well-practiced one. "Sure you will. And then it will simply be more awkward when you return again." 

There was a brief moment of silence between Atem and Set, as they exchanged brief looks with one another while the duo bantered with the other. Then, both men broke into a fit of laughter, which only served to sustain and confirm Diva’s statement.

Atem wanted to say something, but Set got ahead of him before he could even muster anything. “Oh, it’s very possible! After I introduced myself, and he became aware of me. It was nearly impossible to take over the body, I just couldn’t swap places with him!” The priest spoke while laughing, as he remembered those times so vividly.

“And the first time I met Kaiba... I had to rid him, from a bad influence that had clearly taken over him... And I’m not talking about Set.” The pharaoh added.

“All that did, was to get me an earful from him right after it.” The priest pointed out, as he sipped on his cup. “Well, I never said anything about what would happen afterwards, now did I?” The two followed it with another brief chuckle.

“Trust me, he has improved a lot since I got to know him... He changed a lot over the years, Diva. I’m happy for him.” Set added, then went ahead and emptied once more his cup. 

"Oh forgive me for  not wanting to just rent my body out on a whim," Seto shot back. Though the conversation quickly moved on, and he was unsure whether to feel insulted or touched by the end of it.

So instead, he did the totally socially acceptable thing and decided to stare at some odd fruit laid out before him that he didn't recognize.

"Really now? The great Seto Kaiba can change after all. I supose my timing was lucky then. Well except for when we first met--"

Seto cleared his thoat to cut that statement off. He didn't want Set to strangle someone today. Especially a live someone.

"You know Set, be careful. At that rate you're gonna pass out before the end of the meal," Kaiba said with a nod to the flavored gross liquid. 

“Seto, I’m no longer in your body,” A hiccup interrupted Set’s slurry words, as he covered his mouth for a moment before he resumed talking. “I know very well how much I can take of this.” The man even gestured with his hands, as he took another sip out of his cup in order to prove a point.

“There’s no need to be concerned about, he tends to drink a lot more whenever he is with the others...” Atem pointed out in a calm tone, he had more to say but his drunk spouse interrupted him once more. “By the way, I’ve got a question... What’re you two anyway? What’s Diva to you, Seto? You know I won’t buy the friendship answer.” Set asked, it was very easy to tell how intoxicated the man was.

The pharaoh quickly fell silent, as he shot a glance at him then back at the guests. Now that he put some thought into it, Kaiba didn’t really explain his ties to Diva. Sure, he may have informed him that he was simply giving the CEO a helping hand in his work... But it didn’t quite suit, what most expected from Kaiba. 

"Are you sure about that?" he asked, shooting a disbelieving glance. High tolerance or not,  drunk people weren't fun for Kaiba to deal with. Too much and it was hard to get intelligible conversation out of them even if they weren't flat out passed out.

But the gazes of the two immediately made Seto and Diva freeze before exchanging a glance. While Diva expected such a question to come up, he wouldn't have guessed it would have been asked so... directly. But Kaiba instantly responded with sarcasm."What, is it so hard to believe I have some friends nowadays? When you spend so many hours working together it's kind of impossible to not get along on some level."

For a moment Diva didn't respond. The plan had been for Seto to introduce him to the people here honestly, along with helping with the experiments side. But the ex-Plana could see Kaiba was most likely acting on instinct.

"It is true we are friends. It took a while, certainly after well... some difficulties over the past but we eventually got there. And..." he trailed off, carefully keeping his eyes off Seto. Best to leave it to him in his own time, if he wanted.

There was just the noise of Seto taking a sip of his own drink for several seconds. "And... weendedupgivingdatingatry." The words were spat out fast as Seto would read a monster's effect and his gaze snapped back down to his own food. Gods, why did he ever want to do this? Set and Atem would just laugh at him. 

Atem and Set quietly listened in to Kaiba’s words, the priest was still sipping on his drink and the pharaoh held onto his cup. At first the answer given to them sounded reasonable, and expected from him even. As such both men didn’t react to what they heard immediately.

Set broke his silence as he stopped drinking for a moment, so he could speak “Oh, I see. So a lot has changed after all...” His voice trailed off, while the lips approached his cup- it seemed like he didn’t care about what had just come out from Kaiba’s mouth.

However, those words finally hit him.

First, the priest’s eyes shot widely open as he spat- choked on his drink and put aside the cup. A coughing fit ensued, as Atem attempted to help him out by giving his back light taps. It was in that moment, Set proceeded to sit up as he tried to muster out any word.

“Excuse me? What did you just-- say, Seto?” The priest asked between his coughs, while he desperately tried to clear his throat. The pharaoh was at a loss for words, he didn’t feel like he was in a position to even say a word about the matter.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Set reassured his partner, as he waved off Atem once he could talk normally. “Come again? You? Him? What-- Since when?” The priest’s gaze shifted between Diva and Kaiba, he didn’t seem to be angry- rather shocked and appalled at the bombshell. 

For a moment, both Seto and Diva thought they had safely flown under the radar, or perhaps Set was being kind and trying to not make a big deal of it to scare them off. But it turned out to be a delayed reaction. The reaction could have been better, but they supposed it also could have been much worse. At least Set didn't die from the shock.

"Erm... well even that's a bit tricky. Kind of two months?" Kaiba wasn't sure the exact number of days though with the nature of all that had happened. "Though in the middle we kind of took a bit of a break er--"

"There was a small fight. But we sorted things out eventually," Diva added.

Kaiba was trying his best to not make eye contact with any of them. He wasn't even sure if he was embarrassed or stressed or both.

Diva still had a calm air about him outwardly, but a good part of him was wary of the uncertainty of what would happpen next. 

One of his hands ran along his throat, as he was still recovering from his coughing fit. Meanwhile, he took his time to process and put some thought into what had been shared with them.

Due to his young appearance (he somehow, seemed to be about the same age as Kaiba), it is easy to forget that he was an actual father in his lifetime, and despite everything it was obvious he and the CEO shared a bond of that nature. “Dating,” Set uttered out, while he was still thinking on anything to say.

Dating in his time period, didn’t come anywhere near to what is commonly found in the 21st century. Set learned that, very quickly.

“Uh...” Atem tried to fill in the awkward silence in their meal, as he also bought Set some more time to think before saying anything back to them. “Congratulations? Kaiba? I would have never-” Yet again, he was interrupted by his partner.

“Expected something like this out of you... That’s all, mostly.” Set responded in a calm tone, while his gaze landed on Kaiba. Anger is nowhere to be seen on him, it truly seemed like he meant what he had just said.

Either that or the alcohol was still doing it’s magic on the priest.

The priest completely disregarded Diva’s presence, his attention was full on Kaiba who was clearly fighting his own inner demons amidst it all. “Does anyone else knows about this? Or... Am I the first one, Seto?” 

"Wow, what are you trying to say?" But the side eye was directed at Atem. "Trust me, we didn't expect it either." But Kaiba did expect both of them to be knocked of guard at the mere thought. The word Kaiba and dating didn't exactly go together.

Diva remained silent, leaving it up to Seto on what to disclose and what not to.

"Mokuba, of course. I mean it's kind of impossible for him to not figure something was up. But we've kept it out of the news and gossip. But you're the first one outside of that."

He figured it was also best to be that way, given the nature of their relationship and Set's role in his life.

"You know, we just don't want people all up in our business just because we're dating." Because boy, woud that be a PR headache. 

Set remained in silence the entire time Seto talked, despite his intoxicated state he seemed to have an attentive look on his face. His gaze was fixated on him, and it remained there even for a little longer. However, he had little to no self-control while under the influence of alcohol.

The priest proceeded to pull Kaiba into a tight hug, then bursted into a laughing fit as he repeated the same words “You’re dating! You’ve found someone, Seto!”. It seemed like the man was pretty content, with the news.

Mahad had to look away, this was just pure humiliation - he was cringing at the sight (even though, he also found the scene to be hiliarious).

Atem on the other hand, had to hold back his laughter at the scene his spouse caused. Even though he has heard most of the stories, Set had to share about him in regards to Kaiba. Seeing something like this was still a first time to him. 

The next pause was tense, for a moment Seto was worried about the priest not approving of Diva, or perhaps the topic of his sexuality would come up with his seemingly lack of incantation in that area before.

But no, somehow it was worse. No, somehow Set had morphed perfectly into the embarrassing dad.

"Please gods, let me die." He struggled to worm out of the embrace, color rising to his cheeks as he shoved at Set to no avail. He never should have broken the news while the priest was drunk!

"Atem stop laughing! I'll kill you!" Though his glare at the king quickly switched over to his significant other. "Diva, don't just sit there, help me!"

The ex-Plana was barely hiding his laughter behind a hand. "Oh, come on Seto, I think he's taking it quite well. And I'd prefer to not get in the middle of family matters." 

“He’s right, especially when it comes to Set. He takes this matter, very seriously.” Atem pointed out with a cheeky grin on his face, as he couldn’t hold back another row of laughter from him.He joined Diva in simply watching over Seto try to handle Set, on his own.

The priest stayed like that- clinging onto Kaiba for just a little longer, until eventually his pharaoh went ahead and managed to free him from the drunk man’s embrace. He was still yelling- exclaiming, repeating the wonderful news as some of the guards and Atem managed to gingerly lay him on the floor.

“I believe he has had more than enough for the night...” His voice trailed off, as he removed his cape and threw it over his spouse’s body. Who laid there on the floor, the alcohol had finally hit him hard. A few more nonsensical words left the man, at least he seemed to be quite happy- cheerful in a way.

When he did that, it revealed he wore an almost identital outfit to what Set had on himself. This detail would likely go unnoticed by Kaiba, but it might be further evidence to what Diva had observed on them so far.

“Once again, congratulations Kaiba. I wish you both happiness together... But I feel like he’s done for the night, you two can take your leave if you’d like. I’ll let him know, you said goodbye.” 

"Oh you think?" More sarcasm spat from him once Atem finally pried the priest from him. He really should have been counting Set's drinks. A useful thing to keep in mind. But at least he finally stopped embarrassing him this way.

With a huff Kaiba stood. "When he wakes up with a headache, tell him that's karma." Despite how prickly he was acting he didn't mean any true misfortune, but gods Seto almost wished Set just didn't approve of Diva.

"Come now, don't kick someone while they're down," Diva said as he stood and gave a polite dip of his head to Atem. "Thank you for the... evening? If time works that way here. We're almost out of time anyway," he said, noting the data on his duel disk.

Kaiba gave a nod. "Until next time, I suppose." He didn't have much more to say to Atem, so simply started to walk out with Diva, who now took the CEO's hand.

"Did you see what they were wearing?" Aigami whispered.

"What? Is now really the time? Coordinate your duel disk first--"

And a moment later the duo vanished in a swarm of dark particles.

[cosmoclast]

Withdrawl

My life has been taken over with school applications and exam study.

 The good news is I have been accepted to every one I have applied to (that certainly did wonders for my self-esteem), the bad news is I feel overwhelmed because they will not leave me alone.

Here are a few of my loose thoughts:

Succinct || Syncopate || Sycophant

... Succinct sounds like Sect-synct or suc-synct…

It looks like it would be pronounced Suck-inkt

Suck ink-t? This is why I can’t spell worth a shit

Poinsettia || Poindexter || Poignant

… Why is that g in there, tho?

Why is this language like this?

Reading:

"Into The Gray" - A Neuroscientist exploring the border between life and death.

I have a predilection for this brand of existential non-fiction, so this fits in perfectly with my copies of “Ghost Boy” and “The Diving Bell & The Butterfly”...

Thus far:

The marriage of two neuroscientists has failed after one pursues psychiatric medicine, losing their passion for the science of the brain itself for the compassionate pursuit of treating the mentally ill. That ex-partner falls suddenly into a coma after an intense infection and became unresponsive in what is called a ‘vegetrative’ state. This leads to them to be a patient for the experimental research of the neuroscientist. Only through PET scans is it discovered that their brain is still sorting information into appropriate regions of their mind - indicating that they are consciously aware of everything but utterly unreachable.

Described poignantly as sending out a beacon into space and receiving a ping back from the void, it is aweing and terrifying there is something locked in the darkness desperate to make contact.

Years later the patient will recount:

   “... They said I could not feel pain, but they were so wrong…”

   “... I cannot tell you how frightening it was, especially the suctioning from the mouth into the lungs…”

   “Sometimes, I would manage to cry out but they only thought it was a reflex…”

I’m enjoying this book. There's something sharply fascinating about the unresolved substance of ‘consciousness’ and identity stripping process of dying, the twilight inbetween, something that brings us down to the morrow of what we are. It’s titillating in a uniquely horrific sense.

Transient Aphasia?

  Within the last few days I’ve found that when I cannot conjure a particular word, I can follow the blind-sight of another part of my mind and it guides me to write out the word… without my knowing beforehand what I am trying to spell until it is there in front of me. 

  It is probably exhaustion or stress.

 But, I’ve seen a similar phenomenon demonstrated in ⪻split-brain documentaries⪼ -  when the two hemispheres of the brain cannot communicate directly after mechanical separation. 

 In patients, when one eye is covered they may know the meaning of a word but not how to say it.

When the other is covered they may say the word but not know the meaning.

An experiment that demonstrates the communication between both hemispheres is as follows:  draw the left image with your left hand and the right image with your right - simultaneously:

  Most struggle to keep both hands drawing independently of commands coming from the other side. My information tends to cross towards the end, rendering something like this:

The two parts of my mind are not communicating effectively on particular parts of my lexicon.

 I hope it’s a lack of sleep.

 Depression

The word as phonetically innocuous as black ice.

 Why is the same term for the pressure that bends bedsprings meant to capture an experience more akin to being imprisoned in a windowless room as the temperature rises, until all mental energy is consumed with the thought of escaping..?

I am not    depressed.

 We are not a part of one another.

Depression is one of two scavenging birds fighting over my remains. Prying me open with stabbing maws, tearing my spirit from it’s cradle. My airway occluded, blood blooming into my lungs, I am embroiled in a battle for air within a battle for my purpose - a battle over what keeps me alive within a battle for why I want to live.

A note to Love through despair: 

Loving you is a sucking chest wound. Your embrace is like open heart surgery, a brutal, gory performance, a dangerous endeavour of killing a part of me to save the rest. 

Break open my unity with kissing claws and rescue what I haven’t burnt to the ground. Do I want to live through this excoriation of self?

Locked behind the veneer of white wall banality, waiting room chairs, my pressed shirts, triple zero lenses, I am undergoing a rearrangement of my soul as everyone waits on desert blossoms, his fingers lace into my hair.

Wrapped in his arms, a broken thing, denied the brutal salvation of natures order, perpetual purgatory,

Even your tender mercies are cruel…

Post-Depression:

It fell like sandcastles to ocean surf. I woke one day to find it had gone, like a regretful lover who didn’t leave me their number and I was glad.

 I’ve felt like a pumpkin left out past December, Autumn having passed me over, rotting in the solstice heat and forgotten, but rather than fading silently into the earth, I have begun to sprout and bud sunshine yellow trumpets,

   to my surprise - I am not dead at all... 

Day 2: Turning off my phone

It’s the second day I’ve utilized airplane mode.

I wish I could break the pretense and tell you it isn't your fault.

We have come to a temporary impasse; my nature & your persistence.

Your message has been received - You urgently need to advance.    

But, I am a mule, fighting the grander pullings of linnaean predisposition which I cannot abruptly suspend for an impromptu wrangling… even if it is ‘at my soonest convenience’.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t this way.

 But, my mind is like a steam engine, slow to warm then, a freight train rolling on coal with the momentum of an asteroid-  your disruption is like a dental extraction, graceless and jarring, hauled out of the depths of my study with such suddenness, the question sticks to my ribs -have you ever heard of decompression sickness?

I attempted to stumble out of the assiduous fugue, like waking from a furtive nap - dazey eyed and agitated,

    - God, what now- ...?

It’s not just you.

My connection is turbulent, every few minutes a device loses contact and unfailingly lets me know it;

⪻ DISCONNECTED CONNECTED RECONNECTING TRYING TO CONNECT DISCONNECTED RECONNECTING CONNECTED ⪼

This static in the background of every 15 minutes is excruciating...

Thinking of you,

You've crossed my mind every now and then.

It isn't that you deserve it.

In some way it's a betrayal to my own better sense, giving you the tiny space in my thoughts when something more consequential could occupy it.

After all, there's nothing I can do with my thoughts of you.

I turn wearily to them and think what a pity it is that you squander the tiny reprieves life’s given you, while others receive nothing.

I could use you to harden my heart or rationalize a distrust in those that have not earned it - but I won't.

We were only ever two ships crossing paths in the night, but when there is nothing but this vast tumultuous existence to traverse until it swallows us up, it’s strange that I still encounter others like you (having been here as long as I have), that still attempt to circumvent uncomfortable truths.

Surely, they should know by now that suffering is inevitable, that covering your eyes doesn't make it cease to exist.

I don't wish ill on the person you were.

It is not because I am unduly kind.

It is because I recognize vengefulness is a force too often shaping the world into something I would not want to live in. After reading "Reflections on the Guillotine", I can't quite find it within myself to see where that kind of barbarism fits in a just society. I wonder how great a transgression would have to be for me to shed my rationality and misconstrue such terminal brutality with justice.

I know eventually fate will kick us all in the teeth, there is no reason to force-fit inhumanity into a world view that must already accommodate for an overabundance of misery.

Instead of pain,  I have begun to wish wisdom on you.

It is it's own punishment.

Rather than trying to build a better world on thought-binding torment, I believe wisdom seeks to form a foundation on a recognition that none of us are that far from being the one crushed under the heel of abused 'justice'. And, that is the world I would rather live in - in spite of my natural appetite for retaliatory recompense.

Maybe, one day our paths will cross again.

I hope who I meet then is someone else.

I hope the person I meet has come to see the value of self-honesty, the necessity and dignity in humility, and the fallacy of feeding into powerarchies within a friendship.

And, if you don't, I hope I have the integrity to still treat you as what you are - someone just as lost and fallible,

someone standing where I could have stood.

[literally-lydia]

"Hate to see your heart break."

“Then you might want to look away for a while,” Lydia mumbled, trying not to cry. She kept telling herself that to weep would be a waste of her favorite mascara; that letting it all out was much more than a dumb way to pass the time. It was all so mind-numbingly maddening. How could she keep letting her heart be swayed, swept, and broken by men who would only lead her into the cold, loveless embrace of a new outfit and an iced chai latte. It would blow her mind if she hadn’t gotten so used to it. 

SO, how about a quick review for the folks at home? She dated a boy– he dumped her over text and (after putting her through mental torture and asking her if she still loved him) left for London, then she needed a distraction. That distraction was morally grey and… dead now. But before that, she was tricked into kissing Peter Hale. An actual sleaze ball of a man who didn’t deserve the position he was in. So, why was she even trying anymore?

Then came her conflicted feelings for Allison, but what did those matter anymore. Anybody Lydia loved just seemed to vanish one way or another. So, why did she keep letting people in? She always put up this wall, but it wasn’t as sturdy as she liked to pretend it was. She kept leaving an opening to let people slip through without her even realizing it. She wanted a good friend, but she kept looking for love. Mistaking loneliness for a need for affection; thinking she needed a lover when all she needed was companionship. She used to have everything she wanted- before everything kept crashing, but she wasn’t that girl anymore. She was far from it. Sure, she still knew how to dress and had more venom than a god damned snake, but she couldn’t afford to play the dumb girl anymore. 

Now she knew death like a close relative. Now she knew pain like it had been her maid of honor. Now she knew loss like a next door neighbor and she was exhausted. She was so tired of being tossed around by fate and the supernatural like a Raggedy Anne doll. She just wanted to feel seen, but she was tired of people looking at her the way they had started to. Or the way she felt they did.

“I’m just tired of feeling like this, Stiles.”

She folded her arms, a weak-willed attempt at feeling attached to anything. She hated feeling like this. Small. She wasn’t small. She was 5′2″ and not once in her life had she been small, but after so much loss? She felt microscopic.

“I’m tired of being scared every time I feel okay because I know it’s only going to last for so long before someone gets hurt again- and I don’t know if it’s pessimism or a banshee’s intuition, but I’m… anxious.” She sighed, looking away to try to center herself. “And I, I don’t know how to stop myself from thinking about it all. Usually I can just move forward, but I can’t keep going through things counting down the days until the next time someone gets hurt.”

They’d been doing this for years. She knew how things worked, she wasn’t an idiot, but she couldn’t accept every part of what they’d gone through. Not silently.

“Sometimes my mom asks me where I’m going and I make some elaborate lie about a party or a date and I just… think about a time when those weren’t lies. I like thinking about it for a bit- it reminds me that we’re all still kids. I think about a time when I could have looked at Erica’s unbrushed hair in math class or seen little asthmatic Scott McCall exchange confused looks and laughs with you on the bench- now I see him, red eyed and worn out. He’s optimistic, but he’s seen so much pain, so much death- we all have.”

She unfolded her arms to place a piece of hair behind her ear; a nervous tick she picked up from Allison. It was the little things that kept her alive for Lydia. That and her voicemail, for as long as she could keep it.

“I hate getting emotional like that, but-” her voice broke and she cleared her throat; brows furrowing at the idea that she was being so… small in front of him. He had dealt with way worse than the hand she’d been dealt. She’d seen death, but his body had been used to cause some of it. Who was she to play pity party in his house? “But never mind, I’m… sorry.”

She needed to suck things up and work on their project. It was wild enough to imagine a teacher allowing anyone in the pack to work together, but somehow (by some inherent lack of judgement) Stiles and Lydia had been assigned to work together. They had a lot to research and not much time to do it. She had no need to think about her newest disappointment- a boy from her class that she’d rather leave nameless. She’d also rather not think about the growing length of contacts in her phone that were unreachable. One of these days, it could be her body that the Sheriff would be discovering.

“Anyways, mind if I use your computer? My phone’s gonna die.” She looked over the stack of books they’d found in the library and nearly winced. “And I think I’d rather shave my dog than read any of those, so I’ll leave that up to you.”

One shimmering silver lining in her world of grey was her friends; she would have never known Stiles outside of her occasional remark if Scott was never bit. She wouldn’t have known most of her friends- apart from Allison and… maybe Kira. Kira had a real spark to her- and that wasn’t from being a lightning kitsune. 

But Scott and Stiles had become important to her- very important. So, among the tragedies, she could count a few blessings. Didn’t help her nerves any. One day, she feared, her scream would be tied to one of those two familiar faces… and she’d break. 

“…I’ve made this about me.” She stated it more as a fact than an apology, “How are you, Stiles? How are you really?”

[lewispandawrites]

35 and Malec

Do you regret it?, Malec, 2526 words, M rated

“Do you regret it?”

Cat’s voice startled him. He had been lost in his thoughts, and hadn’t heard her walk up to him.

“Not at all.” Magnus replied, not taking his eyes off of the young man, who was working with other villagers. They had been building the enclosure for hours, and Magnus had been there almost from the start. “It was something he wished for. Not my place to decide.”

“I don’t think this was what he meant. If he knew the cost…” She stopped abruptly, seeing Magnus’ pained expression, as he turned to her. Alec had paid a great price, but Magnus’ suffering was much greater. He would have to live the rest of his life, knowing, that his lover would never remember him.

“It was his greatest dream, Cat. To forget the horrors of the war. To not wake up screaming every night. To not see their faces, every time he closed his eyes. And as much as I wished my face would took their place behind his eyelids, we both knew it would never happen.” Magnus was too familiar with all of those things. He himself greeted all the nightmares like old friends, but wished moonshine could wipe his memories clean. No one could leave the warfare unscathed.

They had met in the middle of the war, and it hadn’t took them long to seek solace in each others’ arms. A moment of blissful oblivion, when they could pretend they hadn’t been two generals, fighting a lost battle, and slowly dying for unreachable dreams. But soon, they had become more. They had shared genuine smiles, and body-wracking sobs. And it had brought them closer. They had both found hope, in the form of future plans together, and that hope got them going through the hardest times.

But that future had never been meant for them.

While fighting the final battle, Alexander had been injured greatly. Magnus had no idea what had happened to him. He had tried to find him in their tent, wanting to kiss him senseless, because it was over. The usurper had fallen, and soon the other armies would fall as well. But Alec hadn’t been there. So Magnus had looked for him among his soldiers, asking if he had come to thank them yet. They hadn’t seen him since the dawn. So he had made his way to the medics’ tents, heart in his throat, but the familiar face hadn’t caught his eyes.

It had been Ragnor that had found him, and brought him to Alec. They had kept his body away from others, to keep their spirits lifted for a little bit longer.

Magnus had refused to leave Alec’s side. He had gone through his days, without sleeping or eating, focused only on making sure that the wounds wouldn’t get infected. His own health had deteriorated, and he had been deemed unfit for duty. The army had left, but Magnus had stayed behind with his lover, to nurse him back to health, with little help from others. Long nights had been spent cleaning Alec’s body, then crying until there were no tears left. But he had still had the dreams. They, and the steady rise and fall of Alec’s chest, had kept him alive.

All his hope had been crushed, when Alec had opened his eyes, and hadn’t recognised him.

Various medics had told Magnus, that it was the consequence of the head injury Alec had suffered. The young general hadn’t remembered who he had been, and might never regain those memories.

The gods must have had looked down on Alec, and had blessed him. He would never remember the carnage of the war. And who had Magnus been, to take that gift away from him?

So Magnus had made a choice. He had told Alec that the other had been a simple soldier, and had dropped him off in a village, where no one had known his name, with a generous severance payment. Alec could build a new life for himself - a new, more happy life.

And now, months after, Magnus was looking at him for the last time.

Cat placed her hand on his shoulder. “Do you regret it? Meeting him?”

“No.” There was no hesitation in his voice. No doubt. “I could never. I will happily pay my due for the short time we had, till my heart stops beating.” Losing Alec was the cause of his greatest sadness, but he still cherished all the memories he had of him. He always would. Magnus believed a person could love someone so deeply only once in their lifetime. And it was an honour to forfeit his chance for a great love on Alexander Lightwood.

“General?” A soldier approached them, and Cat took her hand back. “The army is ready to move.”

“I will fetch my horse and join you.” His gaze swept over Alec’s features one more time, telling himself he was trying to memorise every little detail. From that distance, though, he could barely see the color of Alec’s eyes. But when he closed his own, he could easily picture the vibrant hazel, surrounded by dark eyelashes, and crow’s feet.

He turned away before opening his eyes, and didn’t look back.

——————————————-

The last breathless kisses were exchanged between them, as they waited for their heartbeats to go back to normal. Alec’s fingertips skimmed over Magnus skin, traveling lower, until Magnus stopped their journey by lacing their fingers together, before Alec’s hand could wrap around his cock one more time.

“No. Not again.” He chastened Alec playfully. Magnus felt sated and relaxed, but didn’t want to go another round. He would be content with just laying in Alec’s arms, for the rest of the night. Alec’s only reply was to trail kisses down his neck, so Magnus pushed him backwards onto the soft animal skins. “Even you’re not that charming.”

They lay there in silence, listening to the sounds of the camp. There were too far away from the fires, to hear people who had gathered around them, but their surroundings were anything but silent. The dogs were barking, and at least one enthusiastic prostitute was moaning somewhere nearby. Last few soldiers were getting ready to rest, while the night shift took turns patrolling the perimeter.

Just when Magnus had started to fall asleep, Alec rolled onto his side, and squeezed his hand gently. “What is your biggest dream?” He asked into the space between them, looking straight at him.

Magnus blinked his eyes open, and stretched like a cat. “It’s a hard question. There is so much to wish for.” But when Alec opened his mouth, no doubt to take the question back, Magnus silenced him. “Let me think.” He had many dreams, but never wondered which one was the most important.

“I think…I think I want this war to be over. So no one dies anymore. And we would come back home, finally safe. Buy some land, and build that house.” He finally replied, then brought their joined hands to his lips, to kiss Alec’s knuckles.

“This is cheating.” Alec complained, but his tone was tainted with amusement. “You can’t have one wish that would be a magical solution to many problems. And you can’t distract me from that fact, by showering me with love.” Magnus grinned at the word ‘love’, and kissed Alec’s palm again.

“Of course I can. It’s called ‘being smart’. Do you think I became a general because of my good looks?” He said, while staring straight into Alec’s eyes, daring him to disagree.

Alec snorted, hearing his reply.

They stayed like that, lost in each others’ eyes, until Magnus broke the silence. “What is your biggest dream?”

“To forget the war.” Alec replied, without missing a beat. The atmosphere in the tent grew more serious. They were used to talking about war - about all the horrible things they had seen and experienced, and about their plans after it would end - but somehow that confession felt more serious. “I wish I could just forget. To never hear their screams in my head again. Go back to the life I had before.”

Magnus held Alec’s gaze. He understood. War brought them together, but it had also brought unimaginable suffering into their lives. They had been marred, and there would be no escaping it, even after they somehow win.

“That’s a beautiful dream.” Magnus could see in Alec’s eyes, how greatful the other was, that he hadn’t been judged for wanting to be happy. The silent acquiescence meant more than a hundred ‘I love you’s’.

“Come here.” Alec said, and opened his arms, so Magnus could rest his head on his chest. He hastily wiped their stomachs clean with with the edge of one of the skins, then pulled a larger one over their bodies. “Goodnight, Magnus. I love you.” Alec whispered, before closing his eyes.

“Goodnight, Alec. I love you too.” Magnus replied, then let the tiredness consume him.

—————————–

The past few months had been kind to Magnus. He hadn’t touched any alcohol in weeks, and had managed to find a position as an advisor to a young lord. This was what the war had left them all with - no need for their craft, no skills outside of battlefield, terrible nightmares - that hunted them day and night. And moonshine to confide in. Their situations were terrible. Magnus was grateful, that his friends hadn’t let him hit rock bottom, and stayed with him through the worst.

And thinking about Alec had almost stopped hurting. Almost.

Four years had passed, since he had last seen him. And even longer, since he had held him in his arms. Even during the nights, when he had passed out from being drunk, he had still missed having Alec next to him. He had learned to leave the bed right after waking up, because otherwise it felt too cold and empty. Too lonely. And he still didn’t know how to cope with that - he was unable to stop loving Alec, and move on with his life.

Magnus hoped that the other man was leading a great life. He had seen with his own eyes how the villagers had welcomed the brave general into their community. But Magnus hoped that he had found more that acceptance. That he had found love. Magnus could never have him, but he still wanted him to be happy. Even if it meant finding happiness with someone else.

Suddenly, the doors to Magnus’ chambers burst wide open, and the former general reached for his weapon. His hand stilled by his side, as his eyes fell upon the visitor. What he saw made him believe, that he must have had relapsed, and drunk himself to sleep again.

Standing in front of him, was no other than Alec in his uniform. Magnus knew, that if he reached out, he could touch one of the shiny buttons. If only Alec was real.

“Magnus.” The other man said, and Magnus almost had a heart attack. This had to be real. He could recall every detail of Alec’s face, whenever he wanted, but over time he had almost forgotten what his voice had sounded like exactly. It could carry out in the war tent, but what had it been like, when they were alone? Whispering sweet nothings, as their bodies moved together?

But Magnus had instantly known, that this was Alec’s voice. And since he couldn’t recall it whenever he wanted, the man had to be real.

“Alec?” Still fearing this might be a dream, Magnus slowly raised one of his hands, to cup Alec’s cheek. When his hand made contact with the soft skin, he gasped loudly. “It’s you. You’re here.”

“I’m here. Not thanks to you.” Magnus could see traces of anger in Alec’s features, but it wasn’t important. Alec was here. With him. He remembered.

Magnus didn’t realise he was crying, until Alec cupped his face in both hands, and began to gently wipe the tears off with his thumbs. “You’re here. You’re really here.” Magnus kept repeating, over and over again. “How?”

“I was helping feed the horses, and one of them tried to eat my hair. And then I remembered Lobo.” Alec’s horse. A majestic creature that had been feared during battles, but had turned into a playful foal every time they would get back to the camp. “And, slowly, other things started to come back. And then I remembered you.”

“And you came here?” Magnus asked.

“No.” Alec’s voice was stern. “I was furious. I never wanted to see your face again. You’ve left me there, without a word. For years! Years, Magnus!” He closed his eyes, to try to regain his composure, but his hold on Magnus’ face stayed gentle. “I hated you for months. I was thankful that we would never see each other again, because otherwise, I might regret my actions.”

Those words hurt. Magnus had felt better thinking, that he had been the only one suffering. That at least one of them had been happy. He reached for Alec’s hands, and pulled them away from his face, then took a step back. “I’m sorry that I’ve caused you pain. You once told me that not remembering the awfulness of the war was what you wanted. So when you forgot…” Magnus was seconds away from breaking down in the middle of his chamber, in front of the man he had loved deeply. Still loved.

“But I never wanted to forget you.” Alec closed the gap between them, and cupped Magnus’ face again, as if not touching him might mean he could disappear again. “I was happy at the village. Life there wasn’t easy, but it still was simple. And people were kind.” Magnus tilted his head, trying to bury it even more in Alec’s hand. He wanted to get as close as possible, but didn’t dare to move a lot. “And when the memories started to come back…it was terrible. Gods, it was terrible. Hating you for leaving me there, alone, was satisfying. I hated you so much.” Magnus’ body began to shake, so Alec wrapped one of his arms around his waist, and pulled him closer. “Blaming my sudden loneliness on you was so easy. And I hated you even more, when I realised, that I still missed you. That I still loved you.”

Hope. For the first time in years, Magnus felt it. Alec had missed him. Even while hating him for leaving him behind, he had still loved him. Maybe not everything was lost. Maybe seeing his angry face, while he was talking about going through all those terrible things, wouldn’t be Magnus’ last memory of him.

“It took me months to forgive you. And then a few more weeks to decide to look for you. Finding you wasn’t easy - our comrades have scattered around many kingdoms, and few heard about you after the war was over. But I finally found you. Here.”

Magnus looked at the shy smile, that graced Alec’s lips, and let himself hope.

“Do you regret it?” he asked.

“No.” Alec replied, then pulled him in for a kiss.

[ikonislife]

🌻mistake part 7

🌻Mistake part  7

🌻Best friend au, enemies (ish, barely) to lovers

🌻Donghyuk had thought it was a simple favor to ask of his best friend, but what happened when he realizes that friendship was long gone.

🌻 Mistake Masterlist

Donghyuk knew it was crass, and perhaps incredibly rude of him to ambush you so, but his heart couldn’t bear it. The way you had stared at him as you emerged from behind the bathroom’s door, the way you had whispered your desire to be with him. One second he was thanking you and the next, he had wrapped you in the tightest hug, the warmest hug any human could possibly given without trekking into bone crushing territory. 

“Shit. I’m sorry.” He muttered at the realization of what he had just done, the lines he had just crossed, and how still you were inside his arms. Fear was once again wrecking his body, he felt hope leaving his heart. Yet when he pulled himself away in panic, your arms were around his body, pulling him back in your own best attempt at a crushing hug.

“Don’t, don’t be.” You whispered softly, voice barely there and clear pearls still dotting your lashes. “I wished I had hugged you back then, stop you from leaving.” 

The memory of that day still so clear in his heart despite all the years, all the distant grown between your heart and his. It was terrifying how history had repeated itself, how eerily similar the situation was to that of the one lead to the silent shared between the both of you all these years. You didn’t grew up together, neither did the both of you belong to families in habit of betrothing their children. You were just a girl he had met freshman year of high school, bright eyes and beautiful smile on your lips as you flopped down beside him. Donghyuk couldn’t get your smile out of his head that night, that week, that year, and well, the rest of the four boring years of high school that seemingly went by in a flash. It was so easy being friend with you, so much so that Donghyuk distinctly remembered his heart realizing how special you were by the 3rd week spent sitting next to each other class after class. He’d get jealous of the guys hanging about you, cautious of the girls buzzing around himself, yet when it came time to be with you, all caution went out the window and his brain had let his heart ran free. He remembered too, the nervousness, the butterfly population in his stomach growing at an exponential rate after he decided that his heart did indeed belong to you. Despite remaining the only boy you kept in constant contact with after high school had ended, his poor nerve had only allowed him the courage to ask you out nearly a year after entering the adult world together. Your 18 birthday, it was supposed to be a magical night, the night that he finally profess his love and hopefully, you return the feeling. He planned it all out, the best first date anyone had ever taken you on for your birthday. Yet reality was anything but, you stood there with tear in your eyes and fists balling up so tightly, Donghyuk thought you’d break your own fingers. His plan all along was to ask you out at that fated party. His logic had been that if you were to turn him down, alcohol was free flowing and it was exactly what he’d need to drown his sorrow in. Thinking of it now, it was probably the stupidest idea he had to ask you out a week before your birthday, at a party filled with drunks. 

“Y/n, that night... The night you caught me with Jennie, what... Why...” The words lodged itself inside his throat as Donghyuk recalled the night, the only night he had seen anger flashing in your beautiful eyes. The scowl, the way your features grimaced under the twinkling light of the garden. 

“Why I came looking for you? Spent the entirety of the party running around trying to find you?” You filled in the words he couldn’t get out, face digging so deep within the crook of his neck you were lost, fingers gripping at the thin fabric covering his broad back. 

“Yes...” He nodded against your temple, finger carding through your soft locks as he basked in your needy touches. 

“I came...” A sudden chuckle fell from your lips and Donghyuk felt a shiver ran down his spine for that chuckle was nothing short of bitterness. “I came looking for you because I wanted to tell you...”

“Ahem... I, out of everybody, support this relationship the most but please keep your hanky panky behind close door please!” You mom voice cut in at the most important moment, the courage you had been building, gathering with the support of his warmth dissipated in a flash at the intrusion. 

“MOM! Shouldn’t you be saying the opposite of that?” You shrieked only the hushed out an embarrassed whisper. 

“Well you kids are young, I was young once, your father was young once... We know how this work. I just prefer if you keep it private and you know, have proper protection.” She quipped, though sharp eyes already caught on the distress behind Donghyuk’s smiley facade and the tears lingering on your redden eyes. 

“Oh my God. This is mortifying...”

“Are you calling your mother embarrassing?”

“No, this whole situation is... Just, ugh, fine.” You stammered in complete and utter humiliation before tugging gently at a giddy Donghyuk’s sleeve. “Let’s go back in my room.” 

With a quick bow, Donghyuk followed your steps before gently closing the door, suddenly feeling as though he were 14 entering your bedroom for the first time after a week long of practicing in the mirror “Y/n, do you want to study with me?” You had settled at the end of your bed, patting the spot right beside your body, finger wiping away the last bit of tear lingering. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I never wanted to upset you or make you cry.” He whispered a heartfelt apology as your body rocked under the weight of his sinking one. His hand went up only to helplessly dropping back to Earth when a loud sniffle tore through the silent room. 

“Bit too late for that...” You smiled the sentence but his heart twisted, a gut wrenching pain ravaged through his entire body at the sentence. You stared back up at him, those beautiful eyes you were so obsessed with dulled with pain, his brows furrowed vexingly at how completely useless he was this very second. “C-Could you hold me?” 

There was no need for you to repeat the question for the second the last syllable melted in the air, his arms already constricting around your body, pulling you so neatly into his lap. Donghyuk hummed gently, not entirely sure why he was doing it but a smile broke on his lips when you sighed contently, staying so still in his arms. As if his heart wasn’t enough that his heart was beating erratically, you left it skipping beats when you let your arms snaking around his body, squeezing all the sadness choking in his chest out. 

“Y/n, what were you saying earlier, about looking for me that night...” Finally brave enough to voiced his curiosity, Donghyuk pressed his cheek onto your temple, counting every second he was lucky enough to be here.

“I...Do we have to talk about it?” Your nerve failed you always at the worst moment as the memory rising in your chest soured. 

“yes, if we hope to ever be us, normal us...” He urged gently with a soft kiss to your temple, giving you the little bit of courage he managed to conjure up.

“I came looking for you because I made up my mind about us.” Your words as cryptic as the memory of that night had been. The party you both attended, it was someone’s birthday or graduation or something he had no recollection, not like that matter much anyways. You had arrived snuggling up under his arms as you both take on the loud thumping of a raging party and sloshing of alcohol being shoved into your faces. Somewhere in between the third shot and him going outside for a breather, to get away from the stuffy atmosphere and the constant nagging of his best friend, always doing the most to set him up, you melted into the night sky. He had no idea why, not even a remote clue as to how he woke up the next morning with a badgering headache of a terrible hungover, and you seemingly unreachable just as the beautiful stars he had vaguely remembered seeing the night before. The weeks to follow, you were constantly busy, cancelling plans and even ignoring his calls and texts for days. By the time the clock had ticked one month, Donghyuk knew something was wrong, so wrong and you were doing your all to avoid him. He should’ve persisted, hell storm over to your house the morning after when he had a terrible inkling that you needed him. Even through the pain and all the regurgitation his stomach had done in protest, he called you, asking times and times again if everything had been fine. And so when you assured him times and times again that you were, he went on with his life as if nothing had happened. Weeks turned into months and it all added up into years, you were no longer a constant in his life and even moments when life lead the both of you to cross path, you pretended as if he was nothing but a stranger. So he let you be, even as hurt and as confused as he was, Donghyuk let you be just another person he knew the name of. There were nights when he was so down on himself, nights when his body content were more alcohol than blood, Donghyuk pondered on storming over to your house and rip you a new one. How could you so easily given up on his precious friendship, how could you be so cold as if he was just one of those normal guys chasing after you like a fool. Yet the longer he stared at the night sky, basked in the soft breeze of the night, clarity washed over his drunken self. As much as he had loved you, he was nothing more but one of those fools chasing after your shadow, thinking he was better than everyone else. In the end, he decided that if you thought of him so little that you’ve had one foot out the door the entirety of the friendship, then he’d leave you be. After all, friendship is a two way street and it was time he stopped chasing a ghost. 

“Us?” He whispered under the kiss he had just laid on your cheek, every ounce of his body unable to part way with you no matter what resolve he had made in the past. 

“I- I wanted to tell you that...” You hid your face once more, a soft blush glowing on your cheeks. 

“What is it, Y/n? Come on, tell me.” He cooed so softly, gently coaxing out a small smile on your lips. 

“I wanted to tell you that I liked you a lot and if you wanted to see if you want to go on a date with me but I was too scared so I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to go to the amusement park with me for my birthday but it was actually a date and if it went well I was going to ask you out for real at the end of the night and I don’t know maybe we could’ve shared like our first kiss right before  midnight and my birthday was over like those cheesy teenager love novel thing.” You vomited words without care, without even breathing because you were so fearful if you stop, even just to breath that the words would stop and your heart would explode from embarrassment. 

“Oh my God that was the cutest thing in the world.” He stared at you in awe, the most magnificent smile blossoming on his lips. Donghyuk felt himself going dizzy from gasping so much in the few seconds since you uttered the shy confession. 

“Yea, but I saw you and Jennie... kissing... and yea. I felt like the whole world crumbled under my feet and I don’t know, I felt so duped.” A pout formed on your lips as the painful memory of watching the boy you loved sharing the kiss that you had been craving for so long with another girl. 

“Sweet, I’m so sorry. How long did you...?” He pulled you into his arms, so warm and so safe in his arms, fearful of watching you melting into the night sky once more.

“I- I watched until I couldn’t bear looking anymore, which was like a second before I just left.” You chuckled, a bitterness lingering even though his arms felt so amazing. “I was sad, at first. I cried my eyes out at our spot but after awhile, I got angry. I felt like you were leading me on, stringing me along just to have someone until you could get with Jennie. It was so stupid, I know but I just... Why do you want to know how long I creeped on you and Jennie?” Parting way temporarily, you wiped a tear lingering still on your lashes, pushed out from recalling that night you burned your friendship with him. 

“Because if you had stay for a few more seconds, you would’ve seen me pushing her off...” Donghyuk wrapped his hands around your cheeks, staring lovingly into your redden eyes with a guilty smile. “She asked if I could meet her outside cause there was something she wanted to ask me. I had a feeling what it was but brushed it off, probably just in my head. We were just talking and she sprung a kiss on me. I froze for a second, couldn’t process what happened. Broke away right away and told her I couldn’t return the feeling because someone else already got my heart.” Another kiss found itself fluttering upon your skin but this time, this time Donghyuk went for your lips. It was so delicate, sweet and chaste, barely there and already fluttering its wings to fly away the next second. It was the kiss he would’ve given you had he gotten a chance to ask you out on a date, or had your elaborate scheme had worked out. It was long overdue but nonetheless the best kiss of his life so far, something he surmised he’ll be saying a lot if the night continue the way it was going. 

“Fuck, I’m... I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot... I didn’t think, there was no way. I-I, I’m so sorry, Donghyuk. I truly am.” He left you stammering like an idiot, wishing time control was something of reality. 

“Hey, hey, stop. It wasn’t your fault. Things happened, misunderstanding happened.” Donghyuk did his best to cage you in his arms, dispelling as much guilt and blame as he could but you were strangely powerful.

“No, if I hadn’t gone all crazy. If I could’ve just behave like a normal human being, we could’ve... WE!” You exclaimed frantically but there was no helping how adorable he found your antic. He giggled and it only added to the confusion breaking over your face. 

“Yes, WE could’ve been we for awhile now but, honestly what’s life without a bit of struggle. Stop blaming yourself for everything. Just as much as you could’ve, I could’ve too. I could’ve call you up, question you, yell at you for abandoning me but I didn’t. So, just, let’s focus on now, hmm?” 

“But still...” You whined and Donghyuk nearly lost it, finding it harder and harder to not scream every time you do something. 

“You gotta stop being so cute, i don’t think my heart could handle more...” He chuckled, kisses fluttering all over your features. “Is that why you said we weren’t even friend anymore? Or is there another reason, because I’d much rather spend time on that date you promised me than being mad at each other.” 

“No..  That was it. i’m sorry I said your singing made my ears bleed. I was just saying that to spite you.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“That hurt a little bit, I know I’m not that good but damn... Making your ears bleed?” He teased, fingers tickling your side, sweet laughter chasing your whiny one. 

“I’m sorry. I was bitter, okay. You know I love your voice. I missed all those times you let me do homework in your studio. Please don’t be mad.” 

“Depends on where you’re going to wine and dine me.” 

“Uhm, anywhere that I won’t have to sell my body to pay for.” 

“Good, because I think I have better things to do with your body than selling it off for food.” He mused with a teasing wink and a devilish smirk, fingers sneaking along your ribcage.

“Yah, you pervert. What the hell are you talking about? Now I know why Hanbin and Bobby keep commenting dirty kid and the 18 restriction emoji on your Instagram now.” You swatted at his hand, crawling away from his laps but there was nothing you could do against those amazing muscles holding you back. 

“I’m joking. Ow, stop hitting me. I’m joking, sweet. Come back.” 

“I hate you already. I want a divorce.” You pat his cheek a bit harder than you should but he only grinned back, kisses flying and missing as you dodged out of his way but Donghyuk didn’t care. You were his, even if neither of you had said it out loud yet. You were his to hold, to kiss, to joke with, and best of all, this lie you both had built never need to be reveal. 

“If I promise to behave, can I go on that date you planned?” 

“Maybe...” 

“Please?��� I won’t be a brat, and I’ll take you on that date I planned for your 18 birthday. Bit late, but I think you’ll like it still.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“I was going to confess to you that night too... I figured if you turn me down I can drink myself stupid. I had this whole elaborate plan to take you out for your birthday... Never got around to it.” 

“Donghyuk.... I-”

“Shh, no more blaming yourself. The past is done. At least now we don’t have to spend time figuring out what to do on our first official date.”

“Just spending time with you is already enough for me. I don’t need some crazy plan.” Your voice hushed out, lost in his beautiful smile and the way his eyes glimmering so wonderfully with happiness. 

“Hmm, but you deserve it. We’re going on that date no matter what.”

Donghyuk too was completely spellbound by your loving gaze, the smile disappeared from his lips but it was nothing short of bliss. His eyes danced about your dainty features, unable to keep himself from staring at those perfectly soft lips, just waiting for another kiss, a real kiss. He got his own rolling under his teeth, nervousness rising fast in his chest as your eyes fluttering close, inching in. He wondered if you too were nervous, lips pursing gently with each second ticking by. You were still so neatly perched atop his lap with your hand gripping onto his shoulders for balance. He let his hands wander, hoping you wouldn’t mind the little exploration he started on your body. Fingers tracing the curve of your spine, Donghyuk leaned in, so close he could feel your bated breath warming his lips and the soft floral perfume tickling his nose. He rounded the way over your butt, caressing your thigh before finding purchase on the small of your hip, other hand carding through your hair. This was real, it was so real and he was about to kiss you for the very first time. It was a long time coming and all his dream was coming true. Donghyuk was uncertain who had leaned in first but that part didn’t matter. What mattered was that you parted your lips just for him, just to let him have his way. You tasted like the best ripen fruits of summer, so sweet, quenching the thirst his heart wasn’t even aware of all these years. Your touch so delicate, ghosting over his chapped lips as you did the best to mould your own to fit in his. The dance so perfectly performed, leaving his heart skipping beats, no doubt needing to go see a doctor after this was all over with. With your hand gently caressing over his abs, winding around his body embolden the man further as his tongue swiped at your lower lips, asking for permission that wasn’t needed in the first place. You were both so lost that even as the heavy pants began to settle in your chest, neither of you care to stop. 

“So, can I start posting your picture on my Instagram yet?” Another chaste kiss met your lips, teasing sweetly.

“Yea, yea. Take me on that date and we’ll see.”

[animefandomshipper]

hey babe! for the suggestive sentence starters could you maybe do, “i can tell you’re hot and bothered from all the way over here.”

@catwoman10001

Suggestive Starters Meme (NSFW)• I can tell you’re hot and bothered from all the way over there •

I decided to make second chapter (which is why I stubbornly refused to not post this until it was done) so those who are interested for what happens after can find it on ao3.

*

There were eyes everywhere here, bolted to the windows of their soul inside out, their stories behind, beyond his understanding. Such as to them in this dimly lit, shallowly depressed room, him the same.

The ice sunk to the bottom, bubbles rising to the surface to take one last breath.

He huffed a laugh, the ends of its tune crackling with a dryness that was once foreign.

They didn’t know, they didn’t know a damn thing.

The drink sloshed slowly with nimble fingers, a smile no longer true crawling to the corners like pinned needles, stuck in place and in no favor of delicacy. He briefly pondered his appearance as he downs the liquid down, the mirrors in his flat no longer in use. Was it as bad as how he felt? Even so, it didn’t matter. Nothing did.

His smile widened, so bitterly and big, he could feel the old bigoted man inching to him in the last few minutes recoil backwards. The thick odor of cigarettes and rat shit whifting away from him. Good, his claws are no longer in his control.

Wordlessly, he gestures the man behind the bar for another refill, a bitter eagerness for his one and only welcomed company. The sweet formula for another ten minutes of forgotten pain.

He situates himself comfortably in his seat, his bottom long going numb and now, with the drink slid into his view, so will his heart’s heartbreak.

With enclosed precision, the burn meeting the back of his throat is a divine poison so sweetly spiced, the flickering image of a face is gone for a for a few eternally grateful, silenced seconds.

But never is time ever so kind to stop its race with pain.

He’s back with another pulse of quickened breath, memories he thought he burned in the fire of hatred and betrayal coming back in form of whispering ashes. In a single moment, everything they had was gone. And for what? A night with the bitch he’d been eyeing.

Oh, Mikaela. Why oh why had you not seen it? Their growing distance in the many months before the cheating bastard’s departure was now, through the new Mikaela’s eyes as clear as day. His boyfriend’s disinterest in him batted away for tiredness of a long day as he unknowingly veiled himself from the many clues littering their home. Now dubbed his home once again after he kicked him out.

His hand cradled his face, the other dug into a fist. ’Do you miss him?’ His mind coldly inquired, forcefully wisened to a fault.

’No,’ he reminds himself, ’I no longer miss him, I merely miss every moment with the me I no longer remember.’

The one he loved to be. The one that stood so strong and unreachable for the hands of mortals with lecherous intentions. He had fallen from that height, and now his wings have singed to dust. How dare he take that Mikaela away, leaving only a bleeding heart and a crippled stranger in his own skin?

A stranger, left behind and unsatisfied with every moment after.

He clamps his quivering mouth shut at the thought, the curled fist dropping into his lap to swipe softly yet unsatisfactory to his shaking thighs.

Unsatisfied. What a lenient description.

As much as he wants to deny it, he’s grown desperate. Desperate for a caring hand ready to please, a hot mouth worshipping his starving body with praises. Of soft kisses not asked to be given, gifted by their own will.

Is that so wrong to want? A passionate lover who he could trust his frail heart with, no worries for it to be thrown back, disinterested and one only capable of loving it as strongly as he?

Passion fueled nights died as quickly as it started. And him with it.

But that might not be the case anymore.

”Another drink for the beautiful blond, on me.” He perks in suspicion, discreetly narrowing into defense as a man plops into the seat beside him.

His muscles simultaneously bunch in tension and soften to quiver when those bewildering and gorgeous green eyes lock onto his in a dominating stare. A gasp, so frail and small is stolen from his lips.

Who is this beautiful man?

He’s convinced the second those dazzling emeralds lid over dark lashes he’s been put under a spell.

”Please,” he grips his thighs helplessly together, that purring voice a baritoned choir, ”a gift, take it.”

He’s defenseless, shaking a small thank you passed surprisingly in a steady voice, ”I appreciate it.”

The mysterious man grins brightly and Mikaela internally swoons, why did he look so accomplished? His gratefulness was expected, it would be rude to not say a thing.

”I’m glad. Oh!” He chuckles, white teeth reflecting another perfect aspect of him, ”my apologies, my name is Yuuichirou but you can call me Yuu.”

”Ah um… my name’s Mikaela…” he chided himself, was it wise to tell this gorgeous- though still unknown- man his name?

”Angelic.”

”What?” He jumped, uncharacteristically blushful at the strange word, even more so at his unwavering stare, his soul bared for him to see. What was angelic precisely?

”Your name.” He explains. ”I’ve never heard such a beautiful name.”

”Th-thank you,” he stutters, the steadiness from before waining the more he interacted with the man- Yuu, he corrected.

”I can’t help but notice that you’ve always come here alone.” He carefully treads to the topic Mikaela would rather forget about, his reasoning for being here. To drown his sorrows like the coward he’s associated himself with.

”Oh.” He dipped his head to his lap, lips scrunched and hands nervously playing with each other.

”No it’s alright you don’t have to elaborate.” He hurries to clarify, ”wrong conversation starter huh?” He chuckles and Mika can’t help but appreciate his turn of humor.

He shifts the conversation to talk about himself, Mika leaning more and more interested the more he rants and jokes.

Strange. He can’t help but sober up and join in, the aching that persisted his heart for month tampering down with every new piece of information Yuu allows himself to give.

He laugh, loud and strained with unuse as Yuu accidentally spills a drink to his attire and all he does is curse, never chastising Mika for laughing and joining in just as easily after grabbing a handful of napkins given to him by the bartender.

He’s free or whatever is close to that and lets himself go with Yuu and comes to a decision when he sees the raven struggle to find something else to talk about. He squashes the buzzling echoes of warnings away and began to retell his story, catching him of guard to quiet down.

He’d be a fool and a liar to not notice his predatory eyes when he mentions the unveiling attraction that led to him here.

”It’s his loss.” He spears his opinion out of clenched teeth so strongly Mika is left breathless by its unquestioned honesty, ”if he let go of such an angel of a person so willingly then I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with him.”

They’ve gotten closer somehow in the past hour, their legs touching and hands briefly coming to connect only to separate with the territory unknown just yet. But now, Mika wants nothing more than to drown in his arms and cry, those words having never been spit so strongly and venomously before in any situation in his twenty-two years of life.

He almost can’t take it.

”Yuu-chan…”

”No wonder I could tell you were all hot and bothered from all the way over there. You haven’t been taken care of like you should have been.”

He freezes and so does Yuu, him in a bashful liquid of embarrassment and Yuu, like he’s just been cornered by a pack of lions.

”Oh God tell me I didn’t say that out loud.” He stumbles out with a hand suspended in mid-air to his horrified face, shooting daggers at the silently dying pink-haired bartender kneeling down the floor.

Mika can’t compute, ”what?”

”Forget it forget everything I said-”

”No no no,” his heart hammers against his ribcage, something foreign squeezing inside that wills him to catch Yuuichirou’s shoulder. ”What did you mean by that? ’Haven’t been taken care of like you should have been?’” he hastily requotes, a moan pressing his tongue as he does.

”I…” he sees his chances of bolting away has lessened with the pale hand gripping his still, ”I just mean that…” he doesn’t want to say it if it causes Mika to run away, that wasn’t his intention.

”Its okay, you can tell me.” Mika softly runs his tongue to swipe at his quickly chapping lips, ”I won’t be mad.” No, he won’t, and the coiling embers so close to the match agrees.

”I wanted to take my chances with you when I saw you all those weeks ago but never had the courage until now and all that time you looked so sad and needy and I… I don’t know I just really wanted to talk to you?? I don’t know you’re pretty and I can’t think right now with you so close.” Yuu gasps out every word and Mika can’t say he isn’t flattered.

Mika blinks and snorts, ”you’re secretly a dork.”

”Is that a bad thing?” He twiddles his thumbs without looking back to Mika, ashamed and more than a little embarrassed.

”No,” he breathily rasps, shuffling his legs to make contact with Yuu’s, ”it’s not a bad thing at all.”

Yuu catches on and slithers a hand to his leg. ”Careful Mika,” that tone ripples a tremor, rapidly smoothing him into an addiction with how he practically purrs his name, ”I’m still a hunter.”

”From what I got I don’t have to worry,” Mika chuckles, a mischievous smile (true and real he can’t believe-) coming to tempt his hand to discover new places, loving the bewitched effect he seems to have on Yuu. ”Would you really let me go?”

”That’s the last thing I want to do.” His growl is low-pitched and Mika instinctively offers his unmarked canvas of a neck as a peace offering. And he doesn’t have to wonder if it works, Yuuichirou’s pupils dilating into black rings brimming with unquenched lust.

”Mika, let’s go.”

With a smirk of triumph, he does as told and when he leaves the bar with a hot mouth chasing his, and the next time he walks in here, he will no longer be alone.

[beautifulramblingbrains]

The Dog - Chapter 2

Fandom: Vikings Characters: Ivar, Ubbe, Hvitserk, OC (However brief they appear.) Rating: This is Mature content with trigger warnings. 

A/N: This was not meant to happen, but hey, it did. After my prologuey start, a couple more original characters have been added. Please note, this story deviates heavily from the show. I’m just a real lover of fictional history stories and getting lost in those worlds, and want to drag as many people with me as I can. Shout out to @murmelinchen for her forever guidance. FYI: Lines are time jumps, big or small.

Read the First Chapter/Prologue here

Tagging who I did before and whoever was interested in my ramblings:  @pathybo @oddsnendsfanfics@sparklemichele @singingpeople@captstefanbrandt @equalstrashflavoredtrash @whenimaunicorn @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @emmysrandomthoughts @pokeasleepingsmaug @underthenorthstar (If you want in or out of the tags just tell me, it’s all cool :))

Ivar surveyed the long ships progress; the loading and docking of the men while Hvitserk stood by his side. In the distance he could see Ubbe with his guards dock without looking back towards him standing on the high hill. Hvitserk still wouldn’t talk, a face like miserable thunder.

Ivar had had enough. “If it pains you that much, why don’t you go with your beloved dog brother?” Hvitserk looked to him, frowning, and also contemplating. “Your sorry face makes my heart bleed.”

A call from down by the dock was the last before the ships were to leave. Hvitserk still hadn’t moved, though fidgeted restlessly.

“Let Ubbe remember with his time away where he really belongs,” Ivar said, more to himself, but Hvitserk heard him clearly.

“You’re wrong to mess with our blood.” Finally, the mute boy spoke. “I can’t just stand here.” Ivar’s eyes widened as Hvitserk broke away, down the hill.

“Hvitserk!” Ivar called, shocked that he’d made such a decision. He hadn’t thought he’d take the bait.

“I’m going with my dog brother, to remember where we really belong,” Hvitserk stopped, hesitating, turning back to get his point across. “Because right now, I don’t feel it is here for me.”

Ivar seethed, face crumpled, eyes narrowed until Hvitserk docked, taking up only a small distance away from the dog. May the seas take their boat, he thought, for I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

But there he stood in his heavy furs, head hooded, watching until the masts disappeared and his men shivered around him in an unsaid oblige to watch. Ivar didn’t freeze from the cold, for his rage boiled under his skin, spreading like wildfire. But there was one thing that kept him from erupting; kept him from scarring the people around him with his temper. The thought that Ubbe wasn’t the same person he once was, and Hvitserk now had to deal with it.

Ivar the Boneless will triumph, even from countries apart.

Ivar smirked from beneath the darkness of his hood.

Avery knelt in her dark green dress, white pinafore stark against the material and still tied around her waist, pressing her hands together while whispering the lord's prayer beneath her breath. She stared into the flame of the candle for a long time. “Thank you for this sanctuary. Thank you for blessing us with time for recovery and healing.” After she’d finished, the room was still as quiet as it was before, not a sound, the room no bigger than a crypt if she thought about it long enough. It’s high windows of the Keep only blessing one the size and width of her hand high above her head, unreachable, making the darkness ever more imposing.

In her bed lay sleeping children, the eldest no older than eleven. They weren’t hers and they weren’t related. They were victims, all of them; victims of continuous war. They had all lost their families and been sent to various places, travelling off the back of the Lord. They all ended up here, put together like broken puzzle pieces and glued to fit. Avery was chosen and commanded to take care of them, and that she did, being the oldest of all the girls; blushing at the use of Lady used idly and comically from her masters because of her efforts.

As much as it was a sanctuary, it played a part in keeping her stashed away with a future unknown. She supposed that is what she prayed to God for in her underlying message of thanks; for answers asking if this were really it; the life she would now lead until she became nothing more than a spinster, or, perhaps a nun.

Avery clamped her eyes closed and banished the thought. When they opened they felt clearer. Poisonous thoughts shouldn’t linger on the mind, for when they fell asleep it would curdle their brain and seep into their everyday life - so they say. And girls young and scorned who kept secrets were the most poisonous of all.

But Avery had never spilled her thoughts on the future to anyone. And sometimes at night she would dream her blood didn’t run red but black, spilling out like oil, drowning the children beside her in their sleep. And many times she woke with a fright.

Remembering the dreams, Avery pulled her pinafore off, blew out the candle and crept in the dark to get in beside the youngest, the barest of cloth to cover her between the four of them. She must have been in a state of sleep and consciousness because she could hear so vividly a conversation of worries one of the priests brought to Benedict Biscop; the head of the Keep, a strictly religious and stern man in constant robes and situated in a fine room with a long table that Avery wasn’t allowed to enter.

Though he was stern, he found happiness in that he’d rescued some orphaned children and resided them with God’s people and the church’s men, and showed it regularly with lavish meals sent to them along with small parcels of delicate materials.

Though, it wasn’t the most appropriate place for young girls of any age to grow up, and there was always something wrong with the way religious men watched them. Perhaps Avery’s age and presence was the only thing that kept them safe.

“Stop,” Avery told her over-thinking mind. What ludacris thoughts. But the memory of the priest and his worries, along with the word ‘raids’ specifically, slowly seeped its way back in. And when she finally fell asleep, she dreamt of the oil catching fire.

A loud crash had Avery frightfully jumping awake. She put a hand to her chest and stared towards the door, concentrating for a moment until her vision blurred. One of the young ones sighed next to her and turned over which drew her attention away - until she heard it again.

Letting her feet down to the cold stone, she found her leather boots and slipped her feet in, tiptoeing towards the door. It opened with a harsh creak and she froze on the spot, looking down the empty hall towards the twisting stairs at the far end.

She glanced back to the youngsters still asleep, took her cloak from a stool and put it on her shoulders, heading down the hall. Footsteps, like someone sprinting echoed from the stairway, scratchy and far away. There was a voice, a low voice.

Avery crept closer, almost silently. She took the torch from the adjacent wall and went to the top of the steps, treading each one carefully. It only lead down to another floor, one on level with the Keep’s wall, and a lengthy hallway until she would be near Benedict Biscop’s living quarters. It was usually warmer down here, for her room was high, and they always had better fires and people to tend them regularly. But there was a weird chill, it breezed down from the quarters - the same one’s Avery headed to.

“Hello?” she said in the smallest whisper, searching ahead with the torch. “Is there somebody there?” She kept herself to the wall, hand out in front to keep steady until she got to the two-way corner which split the hall. She stopped and peered round it, seeing the door to Benedict Biscop’s quarters was open.

“Father Benedict?” Usually there was always a guard here. Usually the door remained locked and Avery had certainly never seen inside. But she found herself in the doorway, looking at the thrown sheets from the bed now littered with items, the overturned candle still burning. The room had been torn apart and left.

Further in, until she got close enough to stub the abandoned candle, she crouched low and licked her thumb and forefinger, dousing the flame. She then put it back next to the overly large bed and took a step back.

Something cracked under her heel.

She waved the torch down by her feet and got low again. Recognition, the thing from her nightmares - blood that looked black on the stone of the floor. A tooth, now splintered after she stood on it. “Lord, have mercy.” She stood and walked backwards, her chest heaving, the need to vomit rising. A smell became distinct, an unearthly metallic - death.

Avery bumped into something solid behind her and she turned her head over her shoulder half expecting for it to be the wall.

But it weren’t. And oh how she wished it was.

A bald man sheen in sweat and blood slapped across his face, tattoos etched like demonic callings weaving between his eyes, tilted his head. It made it harder to focus, to view him as even human. Avery felt her lungs seize up and the scream about to rip from her throat when he flung himself forward, grabbing her mouth, and pushing her back towards the bed. She dropped the torch when she buckled backwards, finally screaming out but it wasn’t long enough, for he had her pinned and was ripping at her skirt.

“Get off of me!” She beat him, tried ferociously to dig her nails into his face while simultaneously fighting her clothes back down. For only a brief moment, screams from the past echoed behind her eyes, seeing the flames in the village, finding her parents, their blood on her hands. It was happening. It was all happening again...

His strength felt inhuman, he smelt like something long dead, and he was speaking in a weird language she didn’t understand. He slapped her for her struggling efforts, snapping her head from side to side until she saw stars and felt the world draining away. Avery’s eyes danced, heavy, the room buzzing. In her daze she saw the three children in the doorway, rubbing their eyes, the eldest coming up behind the demon on top of her.

Reality shot back when what she was seeing was real. The eldest jumped upon the demons back and made him move just enough for Avery to gather herself and get towards the pillows. He was shouting loudly now, having flung the eldest, Eda, to the ground.

There was something; a moment when he looked at Avery that she saw every intention. When he turned back to Eda, horrified Eda pleading with an extended arm, Avery slipped from the bed while he was too busy pulling Eda from the floor. She found the torch, the thinned, spike-like end, and crept towards him. The children were screaming, Avery’s face was throbbing. She lifted it behind her head, over her right shoulder, baring her teeth and willing her might, and put all the force she could gather into bringing it down into the fleshiest piece of his neck.

It didn’t work as well as she had initially thought, but enough so that he let Eda go and that he had to pull it out of his skin. Avery and the children ran from the room, and she shut it behind her, pushing the little ones ahead, guiding them towards an exterior door that lead to the walkway of the wall where she could finally get a glimpse of what was happening beyond.

They busted through and were met with a contemporary description of Hell. The battle of the church’s men against Heathrens. Cries called out around them, the sounds of metal clashing, arrows zipping. Avery ordered the children to crouch by the brow of wall while she got her thoughts straight. The only logical place she knew to go was the cellar of the kitchen. Their quarters were now compromised. Outside was too dangerous...

She dragged them back inside, carolling them down the steps as Benedict’s door was thrown open and an eerie shadow cast upon the wall. Her feet worked so fast, holding the back of the nightgown of the smallest as they fled for their lives. Down and down they went, three floors, passing corridors that seemed more perilous than theirs as the screams got louder. They passed figures battling, not sparing them a glance and finally reached the bottom, the fire was still roaring, logs spilled across the floor. Avery found the hatch under a rug and flung it open, her lungs heaving. The wooden stairs were steep and it was cold, but the children didn’t argue. Once inside, she grabbed Eda’s shoulders. “Stay here.”

“Avery! Don’t go. Don’t leave us,” Eda said. The youngest was sniffling into her sleeve.

“Get behind something and don’t come out until I come back. I’m going to look for a way out. I can’t do that with Kendra, she’s too small, and she needs you. Somebody needs to hide the hatch.”

It was irony. They knew of the room from when they would steal food, the old cook that worked here showing it to them in the first place. And now it would save their lives.

Eda nodded slowly, tears brimming her eyes. “Okay.”

“If I don’t-”

“No, Avery! Don’t!” Eda interrupted her, but she continued anyway.

“If I don’t, wait a day and follow the path towards the South. Keep heading south.” Avery didn’t know exactly why, and didn’t believe anyone was truly safe, but directions and commands were sometimes the only thing people had left apart from their faith in God. She briefly touched the rosary around her neck, hidden under her clothes.

There wasn’t time for goodbyes and Avery ruffled her hair, then took off up the steps. The hatch closed heavily, the last thing she saw being three pairs of frightened eyes. She pulled the rug over, hoping they were strong enough together to lift it. They had to be. On the way out, a cleaver was still stuck into pork, and Avery took it. Honestly, she wasn’t a warrior, but there was a difference between warriors and survivors. Survivors being far more dangerous.

Hell ravaged outside and fear momentarily crept back in. The screams and cries were enough to instill fear even in the bravest. The kitchen lead to a small area with chickens scuttling about by her feet, a small gate into the courtyard. Avery wrapped her cloak around her and pulled up the hood, shadowing herself in the darkness of the Keep. It felt like time passed slowly, and her gut kept telling her to stay where she was and not move. But the stables weren’t far, hoping that when she got there she wasn’t the only person with the same thought. Perhaps find some church men struggling with an escape.

The air around her grew quiet. Avery took it as a sign and snuck out, past holdings, the storehouse, and carts left idle. She darted between each one, further towards the Keep’s large gate and where the stables would be. But the closer she got the more she lost her faith. They were ransacked and empty, every horse Benedict Biscop held here taken. Those were his most treasured. The others were kept outside the walls in the surrounding village, not far, but not protected and cared for.

She checked anyway to find hay and horse manure, then went to the arching iron gates splayed open for all to enter and leave, looking down the hill and across the land. The village surrounding laid in ruins, burning, some with people still rummaging, others flinging women and children to the ground. Avery could see the glint of the moon on the river and that would be her chosen path. Behind her stood the Keep she’d known for a year presented as a Headstone.

Catching her breath, Avery wiped at the blood from her mouth where the monster had slapped her. Overall, she was fine considering what might have happened.

“Stúlka.”

That thick accented language burned her ears. Avery turned to see another burly demon standing loosely, sword in hand, helm in the other against his hip. He was covered in a similar grime, chest still heaving from his murderous efforts.

“Stay away from me!” Automatically she held the cleaver up towards him. “I am not a...afraid…” she suddenly lost her voice, watching great flames beginning to lick out of the windows in the top tower of the Keep, furthest away - where her and the children would have been sleeping. “Oh my-” she bolted towards the courtyard. From out of the shadows came the bald, tattooed man from before, blood still wet, but not looking any less threatening, blocking her way. Two of them stood between her and the children now locked in the cellar. “I am not a threat to you. Just let me go,” she pleaded.

The two spoke briefly. Then another voice rose up behind her and she swiveled between them all, still holding the cleaver up. There was a strong smell, something unnatural burning in the air. The three got closer, more men began to appear; happy, excited, thrilled with the carnage. Eventually her back hit the wall of the arching Keep entrance as they closed in from both sides leaving her nowhere to go. The first one came towards her quickly and she slashed at him to no avail. He knocked the cleaver away and grabbed her only weapon, lobbing it somewhere over his shoulder, and heavy handedly grabbed her neck, forcing Avery to walk.

But it was the wrong way. And the children…

She didn’t care what would happen to her.

She pushed with all her might and tried to run, only for her hood and hair to be grabbed and yanked back. Avery kicked, lashed out by violently shifting her weight.

A thick blackness billowed into the air above the Keep and desperation sunk in. “You don’t understand! There are only children in there! They don’t know to run! Let me tell them! Let me-” They gagged her, tying rope around her wrists. She was still screaming into the dusty cloth in her mouth, catching a glimpse of the monster from Benedict Biscop’s room showing the wound she gave him. They smiled and joked in their strange language, the quietest being the one who held her, guiding her casually away from the Keep as it creaked and groaned, while she shrieked with it hysterically.

They all didn’t seem to mind.

Avery still fought as she was tied to a horse to walk behind it, pulling back even though it was pointless.

The very top tier made an awful rumbling noise, part crumbling away… and that smell…

Avery watched as the tower began to lean, right over the kitchen, right where she had led them. It buckled, like her knees, and ploughed down into the building below. She lost all her senses, letting the darkness swallow her, just a secondary pain from her wrists as they jolted in her collapse. Then... nothing.

She will burn in Hell.

Avery woke to the sound of a rhythmic wheel turning, the rumbling beneath her head bouncing it off of wooden planks. It was bright daylight, blue skies, cloudless as she stared up. Her eyes felt heavy, body like lead, and as she tried to raise her hand her wrists were still bound, mouth gagged. Everything came rushing back.

Sitting up the world spun. She was being watched by an old man on the head of the cart, turned right around, legs in the back with whatever bounty they’d stolen, and her. Behind them trailed a line of horses. They were walking slowly, but timely, and peacefully.

Avery’s eyes narrowed at the men that dragged her from her home. They stared at her, blankly and unabashedly. Trying to appear fierce didn’t work. They were eating too, sharing across to each other. Avery didn’t know where or how far they’d come. It was just open land for miles, greenery, and severely cold. She only realised she was shivering when she automatically tried to pull her cloak further around her, finding it hard work with tied wrists.

The cart stopped suddenly, almost sending her over the back. They left her for the best part, idling themselves with building a camp. It might have been an hour or so that she watched until she was approached. They said something foreign to her, a command. When Avery didn’t move, they resort to grabbing her. Men laughed while she was hauled over one of their shoulders, kicking and hitting out, her yell muffled. She was all but thrown into a put-up tent and she scrambled right back, warily eyeing Benedict Biscop’s room demon.

Avery’s mind raced. He was going to try again, his pants were already half undone and nobody seemed to care to stop him. His wound had been covered. She owed him, that must be going through his mind, and it must have been the reason why she was still alive.

He yanked her ankles, pulled her down, removed her ragged mouthpiece and tugged her mouth to his, a disgusted sensation causing her to cringe, pulling constantly away. He said something, pinning her with his body, travelling down her neck, smothering her. With hands bound they were useless. She was going to die either way. She lifted her head and chomped down into his cheek as hard as she could until her teeth hurt, unrelenting to him shouting out some curse she didn’t understand. He rose up on his knees, seeing blood through his fingers; blood she had caused again. But before he lashed out this time, she kneed him, wiggled away, clambered up and ran from the tent.

Outside people laughed like it was some hilarious joke, the entertainment after a successful raid - and that wasn’t far from the truth. The demon came out from the shadows, absolutely furious, spitting onto the grass. Avery pleaded to all the amused faces, panicking, dizzy, lost. They all looked small and as if they couldn’t stand up to this unrelenting demon or as if they wouldn’t want to. They’d rather watch her get torn to shreds - except one. One who didn’t laugh, one who was polishing his helm while seated on a log doing his best to ignore the commotion. The crowd of people found her too amusing to stop and she ran to him and halted.

“Please…”

The quiet one stood up, frowning, looking at the blood by her mouth then to the unamused demon storming up behind her.  

He’s big enough, she thought. And just when the demon reached for her, she slipped behind the quiet one, a curious expression gracing his face.

They made a brief exchange, the quiet one suddenly squaring his stance, the conversation getting a little heated until the demon threw his hands up exasperated and strode off. Then he merely rolled out his shoulders and sat, continuing to polish his helm, two feral dogs as symbols on each side.

Avery caught her breath, the wind whipping her cloak out behind her while watching the crowd disperse. Putting one foot sneakily behind the other, she backed up, looking unsuccessfully for a treeline or cover. There was nothing. But it was better than staying put.

“Think very carefully, stúlka,” he finally spoke to her, not gracing her a glance. “I will not care for you a second time.” He spat into his rag, smoothing it across the snarl of one of the dogs.

“I knew you understood me! I knew it,” her voice only squeaked from the fear still rattling her bones. “To Hell with you!” Avery turned, bolting across the grass.

What she didn’t see was Ubbe The Dog stand, pull back his arm and lob his helm directly at her head. Watching her tumble to the ground in a heap, he sat down back on his log, eventually joined by Hvitserk casually strolling over. “We move on tomorrow at first light. West,” Ubbe instructed, taking the ale Hvitserk offered - tasting better stolen.

Hvitserk peered to the girl out cold on the field. “We take slaves?”

“She stabbed Hendrick.”

It was enough for Hvitserk, and he nodded in acknowledgment.

Ubbe downed his drink, throwing the cup out to the field. “Bring out our holy man Benedict.”

[lnc2]

Object Permanence

Summary:

Adrien makes a mistake.

Also on AO3 and FF.net

The Mistake

Plagg never told him how much it would hurt without the suit.

They had been at this for so long that he took for granted just how much his leather-slick second skin absorbed.  He was Chat Noir, savior of Paris, righter of wrongs and fearless defender

except when he wasn’t.

Sometimes when he lay awake at night Adrien could still hear Ladybug’s screams as the akuma’s claws sank deep, deep, deep into his shoulders and remember the phantom pain even her miraculous couldn’t cure.

She wore red much better than he ever could.

But as he lay bleeding out on the cobbled path of the Left Bank with Ladybug’s curses and Plagg’s damn you, kid ringing in his ears, sure in the truth that he was going to die and just as sure that she would bring him back, Adrien let their admonishments roll over him like waves.

Dying for her was like an old song, one that vibrated through him like the strings of a violin.  From his veins to his toes to his ears every part of him that was Chat Noir and every part that wasn’t was a symphony of devotion to her.  Like a soldier follows their general, like a lover follows their hands

Adrien could and would think of a thousand ways to tell her she mattered but on days like this his tongue was weak, his fear was strong, and sometimes Plagg was just too slow.

Could she really expect Adrien Agreste to stand by while Chat Noir recovered?

 Call it a gut feline but it sounds like you could use a little help.

And when it was done, when the akuma was purified, when a million magical insects surrounded him and the streets and Paris, he could feel her arms around him, crushing and punishing and so, so, angry that he could only smile.

“You stupid boy.  You stupid, stupid boy.”

Ladybug visited him that night.

Or rather, she visited the rooftop across from him. He caught her silhouetted against the city lights as she kept her silent vigil. A statue amongst the chimney tops, he could read indecision in her shoulders like words on a page.

Adrien felt pulled towards her but he didn’t dare disturb Plagg. After berating his charge for the better part of an hour he collapsed into a disgruntled pile of exhaustion in an unreachable corner and hadn’t moved since. Adrien had a sinking feeling it would take more than camembert to fix the rift he had cataclysmed between them.

He continued watching from the window as his partner stood unmoving for a few minutes more before shaking her head and yo-yoing off into the night.

The stalemate continued for two days before Chat Noir stepped in.

Catching up with her on the beams of the Eiffel Tower, Ladybug was a red and black ornament staring down at the lights of a city that knew darkness and none of its consequences.

“What if I can’t save them all, Chat?”

“The best we can do is try,” He said and the way she smiled told him he was wrong.

But she didn’t stop him when he sat down beside her and it felt like breathing when she moved closer to lay her head on his shoulder.

“I’m not strong all the time,” She said and Chat thought of the way Ladybug screamed when Adrien Agreste leapt in front of her.

“You don’t have to be.”

“You don’t have to be.”

There was something in her voice, an echo of fear and frustration and pain that told him his time for secrets was over.  He slammed that door closed the same way he’d been slammed into the pavement.

“I’m sorry,” He said, to say anything.

“But you’re not,” She sighed, pulling away because she knew.

“No,” Chat wrapped his arms around himself to make up for her distance.  “And I’m sorry about that too.”

It was all over the Ladyblog.

Of course it was.  Alya Cesaire would never find herself on the wrong end of a scoop and although she hadn’t been on the scene when Chat Noir disappeared she and her camera were far too present by the time Adrien made his appearance.

It was his worst nightmare.

All weekend long Nathalie had been fielding calls from hungry newspapers, radio stations, and talk shows alike that wanted a piece of the most recent akuma attack and the civilian that saved Ladybug.

His father was not pleased.

And if Adrien thought he would find any respite at school that illusion was quickly shattered when he heard Alya’s excited voice carry out over the clamoring of his classmates and into the hall.

“Did you see the way he just dove in front of her like that?”

Adrien stood half-frozen in the classroom’s doorway, unwilling to enter, unable to turn around and flee.

“I didn’t think Adrien could move that fast!”

“It wasn’t that fast.”

“Shut up, Kim.” Alix said.  “You’re just jealous because you’ve never saved a superhero yourself.”

Rose sighed.  “Well I think it was romantic.” “What about you girl?” Alya grinned, nudging Marinette’s side with her elbow.  “What do you think about Prince Charming’s new savior status?”

Marinette caught Adrien’s eyes as he finally entered the classroom.

“I think it was incredibly stupid.”

Her answer was mostly drowned out by the others but Adrien couldn’t look away from Marinette.  He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on the receiving end of her scowls but there was something about disappointing her that made him ashamed in a way that all of Nathalie’s proxy parenting never could.

“I’m sorry,” He said, but whether it was to her, to Alya’s probing questions, or to himself he did not know.

Plagg was furious with him.

His kwami was lazy enough on his best days but it wasn’t until his reckless superhero debut as Adrien that he really understood the term passive aggressive.

He was getting very used to waking up with mushed camembert in his bedsheets.

But that wasn’t even the worst of it.

Adrien didn’t know how much he’d miss Plagg’s complaining until it was gone.  The little god hadn’t said a word to him in days.

“Give him time,” Ladybug said as they wound down their latest patrol.  After an evening of half-started conversations and prolonged silence Chat was at his wit’s end.

“It’s been two weeks.”

“Tikki said Plagg’s been known to hold grudges for decades.”

“Fantastic.”

She frowned, her hand hovering at her waist above her yoyo.  “What did you expect, Chat?  You could have been killed.”

“I wasn’t!”

“You were.”

Chat stared at his partner as she avoided his gaze.  His stomach sank.

“You’re mad at me too.”

She sighed and it was as good as an admission.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Chat.”

He was suddenly very, very angry.

“What the hell was I supposed to do?” He snapped.  “Let you take the hit?  He would have sliced you open the same way he got me and then where would we be?”

She didn’t say anything so he continued.

“You’re the one who can fix everything, LB.  At the end of the day, miraculous or no miraculous, my job is to protect you.”

“Your job is to protect Paris.” She scowled, finally turning to look at him.

“Which I did by saving you so why the fuck should I feel guilty about what happened?”

“Because you didn’t give us a chance!” She snapped.  “You didn’t give Plagg a chance and you didn’t give me a chance and you just rushed in like you always do.  God Chat I’m so tired of watching you die because you don’t take the time to just think.”

“Excuse me?”

“What if Miraculous Ladybug didn’t work, huh?  What if this time I couldn’t bring you back?  Everything else aside, Adrien, that’s a terrible thing to put on a person.  And I bet if you ask your kwami he would say the same thing.  He wasn’t ready so you just say fuck it and go?  He’s probably hurt and angry and so goddamn worried that next time he won’t be enough and you’ll do it again!”

Oh.

Oh.

His anger fell away from him as quickly as it came only to be replaced by a gut-wrenching sense of shame.

“I didn’t think about it like that,” He muttered.

Ladybug watched silently as her partner seemed to shrink in on himself and sighed.  She really didn’t want to fight with him.

“Just… just give him time.”

“And you?”

He looked up to see her worrying her bottom lip.  His heart felt stone-heavy as Ladybug’s miraculous gave off its first warning beep. She shook her head and unclipped her yoyo.  Chat resisted the urge to scream.

Ladybug still didn’t want him to know.

He laughed, but there was no joy in it.  “Even now?

“I’m not the one who jumped in front of an akuma as a civilian, Chat.”

God, he’d really fucked up.

He clenched his fists together to stop his hands from shaking.  As she threw out her arm he said,

“I’m sorry.  I just wanted you to be safe."

“I know.” She looked over her shoulder and gave him a small, sad smile.  “Next time try to remember that’s what the rest of us want for you too.”

[seoulfulscenarios]

Chance Encounters (M)

Pairing: Jimin x Wheein of MAMAMOO IM GONNA BE THAT ONE BLOG HUH

Summary: Wheein can’t even go out in a simple disguise without attracting the attention of others. Whether it’s the attention she wants, however, she has to decide that for herself.

Genre: smut, nothing else

Warnings: oral, dom x sub action if you squint, fuckboy! Jimin is a threat to us all

Word Count: 3.8k

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy! I’m sorry if it took long. I’m slower than molasses.

It wasn’t everyday that a foreigner walked into a popular bar in the center of Busan, accompanied by nothing but the sorrows of her daily life. With her bright, ginger tresses, numerous freckles, simple but enticing, black bodycon dress, and fresh Ray-Ban sunglasses, she stood out from the sweaty clubgoers around her.

And of course, this outlandish appearance brought the Westerner attention from many Korean drunks, but after hearing her fluent, sassy Jeolla accent, drunk men did an about face and went on with their lives, hoping to score with someone a little less resilient.

She didn’t know whether it was the sickening smell of alcohol lingering on the breath of clubgoers around her, or the epilepsy-inducing lights of the club flashing before her, but no one had yet to see past her disguise and identify her as Jung Wheein, lead vocal and main dancer of MAMAMOO, not as a random ginger, freckled woman from the opposing hemisphere.

Who could blame them? With her adorable dimples and shy demeanor on stage, none of the MOOMOO’s in Korea and around the world would expect to find her alone in a bustling nightclub, downing drinks as if her life depended on it. To everyone else, the ground she walked on bloomed with flowers after each step she took; she was literally sunshine.

“Another one, please,” Wheein pleaded, pushing her glass for the bartender to take. “You’ll call a cab once I get out of control, right?”

The middle-aged man nodded wordlessly, turning around to prepare her another drink. He was way too accustomed to this shit.

“Scratch that request,” a man emerged from the crowd on the dance floor, taking his place at the seat to the left of her. He smiled in response to her look of disgust, a crooked tooth the only imperfection in his other perfect smile. “Two mixed soju drinks, whatever flavor.”

“He means just one,” Wheein corrected the strange man, giving him a scan up-and-down before turning back to the bartender. “I’d still very much so like another glass of somaek, however.”

“You’re not a fan of soju?”

“It’s not that at all; I love soju,” Wheein remarked. “I just don’t accept drinks from men I don’t know. For all I know, you could’ve paid the bartender to put something in there way before I got here.”

The man winced at her remark.

“F-Fair enough,” he cursed silently once hearing his own hesitation, causing her to smirk. She, Jung Wheein, scared someone? Well, damn; she might as well take on this alter ego more often. “I like an independent woman.”

Her eyes rolled into the crevices of her brain at his flirty comment, but of course, he nor anyone could see past her expensive shades. Plus, could this man see, too? He had shades that could probably match the price of her own, hiding his expression from those around him. With a simple white V-neck, spotless black slacks, and shining dress shoes, she could rightfully assume that he was pretty good-looking, or at least well-off.

The bartender placed the man’s mixed drink against the wooden bar table with a soft thud, giving him as little as a nod before turning to prepare Wheein’s simple yet powerful drink. The newcomer then brought the glass to his lips for a quick taste, but not before asking Wheein an important question.

“Well, anyway, more importantly, why is it that a woman who obviously isn’t from this country have a flawless understanding of the language?” The “foreigner” stiffened momentarily, but the man obviously didn’t pick up on it. He continued with his interrogation, only taking his attention off her momentarily to pay for his mixed drink . “Because if you were familiar with this area, I’m positive that I would’ve remembered your fiery-red hair around here.”

Um...

Wheein had to fight against the urge to twiddle her thumbs in her lap — where was her fidget spinner when she needed it? — in her mind, she had only come up with a name, birthday, and hometown for this cheap disguise before heading out from her hotel room.

“When I was a foreign exchange student here in Korea, I stayed in Gwanju with my host family,” Wheein explained, surprising herself with the confidence in her voice. “While learning proper Korean, I simply picked up the accent of the region there. Is that too hard to believe?”

“Not at all,” the man replied smoothly, running his hands through his hair in a rather — what was it — familiar way? “Well, what brings you here to Busan? There’s not much here...”

“What are you talking about? There’s everything here,” she sighed, cradling her face in her palm. To her, Busan was almost like an unreachable dream. “It’s not too noisy like Seoul, but it’s not too quiet, either.”

“If you say so,” he sing-songed, bringing his drink to his lips once more. As he pulled the drink back to set it on the table before them (but not before licking his own lips), Wheein couldn’t help but to study the shape of his lips. They weren’t too large, yet they weren’t too small, either; it was as God had given him the perfect balance for something so simple but so important. She just wanted to lean forward and graze over them with the pads of her fingers, before closing the space between them to seal his lips with hers. Before she knew it, Wheein found herself taking an irresponsible swig from her glass in an attempt to fight off these strong emotions. “I guess it’s because I’ve lived her almost all my life.”

“Hmm...maybe...”

The man then leaned back in his chair and turned his head to her, saying nothing for a few moments. It was if he was doing his best to break down the disguise and try to find the real her.

“Enough with the small talk, though.” He ran his hand through his hair again, rising from his chair and reaching out with one hand for her to hopefully take. “It’s lonely dancing alone. Wanna join me?”

Wheein chuckled at his boldness. “It definitely can’t be lonely on that dance floor with hundreds of—”

Her ears perked up as an incredibly familiar voice vibrated against her eardrums. Hwasa’s “My Heart,” well, “My Heart” with probably four hundred times more bass suddenly poured from the nightclub’s sound system. It took all her willpower to not cheer aloud in support for her best, best friend. 

MAMAMOO? Wheein blinked numerous times behind her Ray-Ban’s, genuinely confused by this DJ’s sudden change in music. In adult nightclubs, and not cheesy karaoke rooms for once? Wow, we really made it...

The upbeat atmosphere of the club finally slowed down, taking on a more sensual and laidback persona.

And so did she.

“Sure, why not?” Wheein placed her hand in his outstretched one, allowing him to pull her to her feet. It was time to let loose and have a little fun, she reasoned.

Staring at only the stranger’s back as he lead her through the throng of dancers, Wheein finally noticed the alcohol’s effects on her mind, body, and soul. Her face warmed up, her judgement waned, and her self-confidence shot through the roof of the small club, heading towards infinity and beyond. Despite the mixture of beer and soju running through her system, she felt invincible.

Deeming the center of the dance floor suitable for the two of them, the man spun her gently in an attempt to pin himself against her from behind, but Wheein decided to start their dancing off strong. Reaching deep inside herself, she easily found this newfound self-confidence and reached for her dance partner’s shoulders, pulling him against her so they were face-to-face, chest-to- chest, and hips-to-hips. Her partner was obviously surprised by this forwardness in her, but only momentarily, for he started moving against her, getting lost in her secret best friend’s solo song. And astonishingly, his motions were rather fluid— was he a backup dancer of some sort?

Songs came and left, but Wheein and the mystery man’s chemistry remained. At this point, he had turned her around to feel himself against her backside. Amidst the heat of the sensual dancers around her, the temperature between kept rising and rising, Reaching back, she pushed his neck forwards and leaned back against his muscular chest, hoping to get as much contact with him as humanly possible.

“Damn, baby,” he husked against her neck, his voice aching with desire. “With those hips moving against me like that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back...”

“Then don’t.” Lost in the heat of the alcohol flooding her system, Wheein found herself swirling her rear into his front even further, but his strong hands stilled her hips, stifling her grinding. She turned her head back too him, a little horny and a little annoyed. A deadly combination. “W-Why’d you stop me?”

He said nothing in response, dipping down to whisper in her ear.

“Are you ready to leave yet?”

Wheein had never moved faster in high heels her whole life.

After a short ride in a taxi and a desperate, heated make-out session and handjob in the back seats, Wheein allowed the man to pull her into an empty apartment, one that obviously hadn’t been occupied in presumably weeks. Kicking off her heels at the door, she had little time to ask about his personal life — hell, she still didn’t even know his name — , however, because before she knew it, the man had Wheein in his arms, carrying her to his bedroom. As soon as he stepped foot into the room, he dropped her onto the bed, catching her completely off-guard.

She had to admit; the aggressiveness of her mystery lover was rather arousing. But the force of the sudden action was too much for her disguise. Her ginger wig went flying to the ground beside her, and so did her glasses, revealing Jung Wheein of MAMAMOO, well, with multiple faux freckles splattered across her face.

The mystery man’s face fell; whether it was from disgust or shock, she wasn’t entirely sure.

As the disguise left her, the independence and confidence of her alter ego vanished along with it, allowing the shy, puppy-like features of her true self to finally emerge. Her hands flew up to her mouth in surprise, as if she herself was surprised by her sudden transformation.

She couldn’t help the words that suddenly spilled from her mouth; like mentioned before, independence and confidence were replaced with apprehension and uncertainty. Millions of scenarios played in her head; at the very least, her career could be ended by this malfunction.

“Whatever you do, p-please don’t say anything to the press—”

An involuntarily gasp cut her pleas short as the man swiftly peeled off his expensive shades, before setting them rather calmly on the nightstand.

The so-called mysterious man before her disappeared, revealing the lead dancer, lead vocalist, and arguably, in her eyes, the hottest member of BTS, Park Jimin.

Could this situation get any more fucked up?

Wheein, out of habit, curled into herself as Jimin approached her on the king-sized bed, sitting beside her.

“So, it looks like we both have pretty big secrets...” he began, his voice fading away as he finally focused on the features of her face, which had been so stealthily hidden this entire night.

His thumb swiped across her left cheek, wiping the “freckles” from her face. He bit his lip, as if in thought on what to do next. But to her, it was a little too obvious, considering they were both in a bed, swimming in intoxication and lust.

“And, this getting out would undoubtedly be harmful for both of us, so let’s just keep this little secret between us, hm? Because I don’t have any intentions on cutting it short just here...”

As the last words left his plump lips, his eyes trailed down to stare at her glossed lips. It was a silent request, no, with the desperation in his eyes, a plea to continue.

He dipped his head down, inching closer and closer, until their lips met for the second time that night. This time, the kiss was much more intimate, considering that both individuals finally knew the true identities of one another.

“Take this off,” she whined, breaking the kiss sliding her hands down his shoulders to tug at the soft fabric of his shirt. She bunched up the material and looked him in the eyes, her eyes pleading. “Please.”

Nipping at the sensitive skin of her neck, he pulled back to chuckle at her eagerness. “Okay, wait a minute.”

Jimin moved his hands from her face to reach for the hem of his shirt, slowly — she practically keened at him to pick up the pace — pulling it upwards and revealing those abs and biceps that she had only seen meters and meters away from stage. He tossed the article of clothing to the floor before reaching for Wheein again, kissing her with even more ferocity than before. The female idol’s hands latched onto the man’s body this time, feeling as much of Jimin’s lean muscles under her fingertips as possible. He moaned at her sensual caresses.

“Turn around,” he demanded, bringing his hands to her slim waist to maneuver her before she could even do it herself. No long after, Wheein felt rough hands drag along her back, undoing the zipper of her tight bodycon dress in record time. She felt more vulnerable that ever under his presence, drinking in the exposed skin inch-by-inch with his hungry eyes. Unluckily, or luckily for Jimin, she had taken the risk to wear neither a bra or panties on this wild night, deeming the dress too constricting on its own.

Before the tight dress could even make a pat against the ground, Jimin was already placing his weight on hers, a breath of the word “fuck” the only thing coming from his lips. Wheein fell back against the pillows from the sudden force, snaking her arms around his neck to pull him in closer.

Tweaking at her sensitive nipples, Jimin was far too impatient to spend too much time on foreplay, or at least focus on the parts of Wheein’s body he deemed most important. His hands slid down the center of her body, purposely avoiding her wet heat to massage her firm thighs. Finally listening to her pathetic whines, he cupped her mound before teasing one, sly finger against her slit, running the finger up and down the area to collect some of the liquid onto his hand.

“You’re so wet for me, Wheein-ah,” he groaned as pushed one finger into her tight entrance, imagining that same pressure around the erection pressing against the fabric of his slacks. A whimper to match his groan erupted from Wheein’s pretty lips. “I hope you weren’t dripping onto the floor in that nightclub, or did you get this wet jerking me off in the back of that cab and stopping before I came, even though I told you not to?”

“J-Jimin, I—” Wheein’s words caught in her throat as she felt Jimin’s thumb against her pulsing clit, and her head pressed into the pillows, while her hips pressed unconsciously against his skilled hand. “More—”

“More? More what? More fingers?” Jimin pressed another finger into her heat, twisting them inside her experimentally. “Or do you want my tongue on you?”

She nodded furiously at his final question.

“Use your words, baby,” he whispered, focusing on her clit. “I know you can.”

God, she’d seen that tongue on his stage; it had a mind of its almost. Wheein, like any other fangirl, wanted that tongue against their womanhood at least once in their lifetime. It was impossible for any sane fan of BTS to not have thoughts like these at least periodically.

“Please eat me out, use your tongue, please— ah!”

The male idol’s head dipped down to give her lower lips an experimental lick with his tongue, causing a surprised cry to leave her.

Oh, God. Is he good at everything? Wheein could only wonder as her mind drifted into cloud nine.

Arching off the mattress, both of Wheein’s hands moved to pull on his colored locks, pressing his face into her pussy even further. Jimin responded eagerly to her gestures, pushing his mouth against her with more ferocity. He groaned at her musky, natural taste, collecting the liquid in her opening with his skilled tongue.

“I could eat you out for days,” Jimin commented aloud, causing even more moisture to spill from her tight hole, and onto the white bedsheets and his beautiful face.

The vibrations of his animalistic noises spread to her sensitive nub, and her moans evolved into keens and whimpers. 

At this point, Wheein was only a simple slave to Jimin’s ministrations. It was almost comical, how hours ago Wheein had so successfully guarded the fence she built around her, but Jimin — oh, sorry, the so-called mystery man —  had chipped away at the fortifications slowly, until she finally had her legs spread in front of him, allowing him to do anything that came to his perverted mind.

Catching on to her change in reactions, Jimin’s mouth traveled up to her clitoris, messing with the twitching bundle of nerves there. Not wanted to leave her tight entrance unattended, he pushed two fingers inside of her, forming a two-fingered gun with his hand while bringing his lips around her clit to give it a hard suck.

“Shit!” Never had so many curse words fell from Wheein’s mouth, well, at least not around a guy, considering this guy before her was extremely handsome. Her stomach muscles clenched above him, signaling her approaching orgasm. She was so, so close, she could almost taste it. And it hasn’t even been that long! Wheein’s eyes scrunched close, as she felt herself falling into the abyss of pleasure —

But something must have caught her midway, for the pleasure was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Wheein’s eyes reopened quickly to find Jimin fiddling in his pocket to pull out a condom, placing the corner of the wrapper between his teeth before reaching back down to undo his belt. Using her arms as leverage, she leaned up, giving him an incredulous look.

Reading her expression, Jimin quipped, with the condom still in his mouth, “I may be a nice man, but do you really think I’d let you cum after what you pulled in the back of that cab?”

Wheein’s bottom lip jutted out; he was right. Yet, she wasn’t pouting anymore when Jimin finally slipped off her boxer briefs, allowing his raging erection to meet her ravenous eyes.

In a few blinks of her eyes, Jimin had Wheein’s thighs wrapped snugly around his hips, as he grinded his rubber-sheathed tip against her teasingly. Feeling his hard-on against her, it was obvious he wanted this just as much as her, but Jimin’s ego obviously wouldn’t be completely satisfied, of course, without seeing her squirm a little. Each swivel of his hips had her pussy clenching around nothing, anticipating the good events that were to come.

“I want you to watch every inch of me as you take me in, okay, baby?” Jimin leaned down to place a chaste kiss against her lips, the only innocent gesture amidst all this madness. She nodded at his words, consenting to absolutely anything if it was to get him inside of her faster. He pressed his length against her sopping entrance, and within seconds, he was gliding inside of her.

Jimin let out an aggressive, uncharacteristic groan as he felt the female idol’s tight walls suck around the head of his member, so much that he had to pause himself to prevent himself from completely losing it. Fuck, it had been so long that he had forgotten how it really felt to be inside a woman, his right hand becoming his best friend in the midst of his hectic schedule.

“Fuck, fuck, Jimin...” Wheein’s thighs quaked and quivered in pure bliss, so much that Jimin had to remove his hand from between them and hold them in place.

“God, Wheein-ah, I can barely move inside you,” he observed, his voice straining from the tremendous pressure around his dick. It was just too much for him to handle; his hands tightened around her soft thighs, the stress of his grip probably enough to leave fresh bruises there in the morning. “How long has it been since someone fucked you good?”

“I-It’s been a good while...” Her jaw dropped slack with pleasure as she felt the man bottom out inside her, pausing momentarily to allow her body to adjust to this long-forgotten feeling, of feeling so satisfied and full. She needed him to wait, but only for a few seconds. “J-Jimin—”

He didn’t have to be told twice.

His hips drew back just as fast as they slammed back against her. Wheein’s mouth dropped into a perfect “o” shape, only cries and other unintelligible sounds able to slip from her mouth.

Jimin’s tongue darted from his mouth to lick his plump lips as he slid in and out of her skillfully, watching the part where their bodies connected and letting out grunts and breathy whines here and there.

She clawed onto the bedsheets and thrashed her head to the side. Noting her movements, Jimin’s hips slowed and finally came to a stop mid-stroke. Wheein rolled upwards to reach out to him, her manicured nails digging into his toned thighs. She held onto this overwhelming pleasure like a lifeline, something she considered the only thing in the world at the moment keeping her sane and alive.

“Please keep going,” she breathed, her voice quivering with want. “I need this.”

“No,” his tone was firm, “I want your eyes to stay on me, no matter how good I’m making you feel.”

Wheein’s nails dug into the bedsheets once again as she stared deep into her brown eyes, finally feeling his girth stretch her over and over again, with no interruptions. Bringing a leg to his shoulder, Jimin slammed into her at a new angle, one that undeniably reached her sweet spot. Because now Wheein was crying out at each thrust, gazing unseeingly into his eyes.

It was all over for Wheein; her mind disconnected with the pleasurable friction coming from inside of her, with the embarrassing squelches of her nether regions, with the feral noises erupting from the man above her, with reality— She was too far gone; she was approaching the cliff of sanity without any brakes, and she was bound to fall off into the abyss again at any given moment, without anything to catch her this time.

And that moment was now.

“I-I’m—”

A ear-piercing scream finally announced Wheein’s powerful orgasm. Jimin did his best to power her through this state of ecstasy, but his hips faltered in their movements, showing that he was close to exploding as well.

Jimin wasn’t too far behind her; the clenching of her walls around him proved far too much for him to handle. It wasn’t too long before he emptied himself into the condom surrounding his softening erection with a drawn-out moan, filling the rubber with drops of his warm seed. She continued to quiver around him, milking him for all he was worth.

After his final stroke, Jimin fell on top of her, breathing heavily into Wheein’s blotched neck. She could only smile down at the young man, running her fingers through the male’s hair for what could possibly be the final time.

Or was it?

[aeaean--bliss]

morning darlin’: a hectic week part 3

summary: sequel to morning, darlin’. more tension, more angst, more everything. (ex-lovers to enemies to ???)

pairing: Steve x Reader

chapter list

masterlist

part two 

Part Three

Monday, 21:22 PM

“God, this place is fancy,” you muttered, wandering into the hotel restaurant. Bucky brushed past you as if he hadn’t even seen you, and sat down.

“Well, duh, why else have we dressed up? You think I wear suits for fun?” Sam muttered behind you. “Even though everyone knows I look damn good in them.”

You scoffed and sat down, before starting to look around. You caught Bucky’s eye by accident, but he just looked you up and down and gave you a playful wink. You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit flattered.

“Come on...” you muttered quietly, sipping your drink and glancing around the room. “Where are you?”

The four of you were sitting by your own tables with your backs to each other, each of you casually looking around and eyeing your surroundings.

“Anyone have eyes on him?” Sam mumbled. You squinted slightly to see better, before putting your glass down and clearing your throat.

“Got him. North-east corner, chugging a beer,” you said quietly, averting your gaze. You took a bite of your food and wiped your mouth with a napkin, before looking around the room, casually. “God, he’s sleazy.”

“He has company,” Bucky remarked.

“Probably his bodyguards. They’ve been tailing him all day,” Steve commented.

“So, how do we proceed?”

“We stick to the plan and see which one of us he likes the best.”

“Alright…” you mumbled, looking up again, only to catch his eye. He leant back and licked his lips, practically oozing with undeserved self-confidence, and you gave him a sly wink. “I’ve made contact. I’ll approach in ten minutes.”

The next ten minutes passed with the occasional eye-contact between you, with you purposely averting your gaze too late, pretending to blush. Just as you were halfway into getting up, a waiter stopped in front of your table. You looked up to see him carrying a tray, and immediately sat back down.

“Hello, may I help you?” you asked, sugarcoating your voice as much as you could, pretending to sound dumber than you were.

“The gentleman over there sends his regards, and he hopes you will stop by his table before you leave,” the waiter said, gesturing to the man you had been watching.

“Why, thank you very much,” you said, before picking up your drink and raising it as a silent cheers towards the man. He grinned and mirrored the gesture, and you pretended to take a sip.

“Don’t drink it,” Steve mumbled sharply, and you scoffed.

“Of course not, what do you take me for?” you replied, the exasperation clear in your voice. You waited until the subject looked away, and you slipped a tiny, see-through object about the size of a small coin into your drink. The man caught your eye again, and you pretended to take another sip. Slowly, the object began to absorb the liquid, making it plausible that you would have drunk it.

“I must say,” Bucky muttered. “I don’t think the rest of us even have to try to befriend him. I’d say he’s already hooked, Y/N.”

“Oh, it truly is hard, being this attractive,” you mumbled, smirking, causing Sam to choke on his drink. You tried to suppress a smile as he coughed. Glancing down, you saw that the contents of the glass were now completely absorbed, and you started to stand up. “Making contact, boys.”

You sauntered over to his table, swinging your hips as you approached him. He noticed you coming, and a sly grin spread onto his lips.

“Thank you for the drink, sugar.”

He leaned back in his chair, confidently.

“Thanks for coming over, darling,” he replied, and you flinched internally at the pet name.

“It only seemed right to thank you in person.”

“How nice of you,” he replied, giving you a wink. You pretended to blush, and glanced towards the exit.

“Unfortunately, I have to go, but maybe I’ll see you around here tomorrow?” you asked, innocently.

“I’ll tell you what, how about we make an arrangement, huh?” he said, playfully, giving you a wink. You pretended to be flattered again, and smiled.

“And what sort of arrangement would that be?” you asked.

“How about you come up to my room at ten pm tomorrow, and we can have a drink or two,” he said, and you blushed.

“Well, this isn’t something I would normally do, but alright,” you replied. He grinned, and you felt the need to throw up.

“Remember, ten pm. I’m room 504,” he said, smirking.

“I’ll see you then,” you said, before walking away from the table, swinging your hips almost too much. You sauntered past Steve’s table, dropping your purse on the floor on purpose. “Is he still looking?” you murmured.

Steve hadn’t acknowledged you at all since you began your walk to the exit, and you were beginning to worry that he was choosing to ignore you. Your purse was still on the floor, but you feared that if you bent down to get it, it would make you less desirable and unreachable, compromising the entire plan. After approximately ten seconds, Steve glanced over and leant down to pick it up.

“Of course he is,” Steve mumbled, keeping his gaze down and away from yours. You felt your stomach knot, and an ever so slight blush crept up onto your cheeks. You cleared your throat and took the purse from him.

“I’m going up to the room,” you informed him casually, but he merely shrugged in return. Humming quietly, you started making your way to the lift.

22:03 PM

Once inside the room, you let out a huge sigh that you didn’t know you were holding in. You peeled off your dress as fast as you could, before hurrying into the bathroom. You grabbed the last towel from the rack and were about to hang it up by the shower, when you remembered you needed to bring a change of clothes. Hell if you were going to change in the same room as them.

You grabbed your clothes and hurried back into the bathroom. You removed your makeup quickly, before stepping into the shower, letting the water warm you up. You always felt sleazy after flirting (or anything more, for that matter) with guys who creeped you out, and, looking back, this guy was definitely one of them. You shuddered at the thought, and forced yourself to think of something else.

Ten minutes later, you emerged from the shower, looking for your towel. Frowning when it wasn’t hanging up, you looked around the entire bathroom. You had taken it down, that much was certain, and it had been the last one. Your gaze wandered to your clothes, and your eyes widened. That’s it. You’d forgotten your towel outside when you’d gone to get your clothes.

You considered your options. There were no other towels, so you could either try to pat yourself dry(er) and put your clothes on, or you could risk going out to get your towel. The only problem was, you were 88 % sure someone had entered the room during your shower. Huffing, you tried to hide behind the wall as you pushed the door open ever so slightly. Peeking out, you couldn’t see anyone, as the beds were around the corner. Clearing your throat silently, you tried to fight the embarrassment that grew in your stomach.

“Uh, is anyone there?” you called, shivering as the droplets on your body cooled down. There was no verbal response, but after a few seconds, he turned the corner.

part four 

[feeacherryblossom]

Who would have thought that it will be today?

Who thought that it will be today? Who would have thought that it was this easy? It is true after all, “It is so hard to leave – until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world,” and it is. I had stumbled across thousands of quotes, books and entries that promise me someday I will wake up and move on but I never did. I cling to those words more than anything, waiting for them to make sense. And today it did. I never understand what those writers must have been felt, but today, I did. On the day I’m in sickness. On the day I barely can breathe and curl up under my blanket.

It didn’t feel exhilarating. It doesn’t make me feel like I’m on cloud nine. It doesn’t make me want to arrange healthy meals schedule, revenge body workout and wanting a clearer skin to prove my worthiness or to make you see what you have been missing. Because I know what you have been missing: me. The very soft me. Frankly, it doesn’t even make me feel like it’s better than revenge in any way. The feeling is rather plain and nonchalant but there is something about it that healed me. I am no longer mad as I came to the realisation that I am no longer need you to validate me, my thoughts, my body or my feelings towards you. I feel light as if this realisation lifted up all the burdens off my shoulders, swap me off my feet and bring me back from emotional hell that you have been serving me for all this time.

You see, I am no longer need to overthink all the little things you do, to guess my place in your heart, to wait and play it cool with your late replies, to wonder did you ever think about me, did any song you listen to resonate me, to feel like you’re talking down to me thinking that I’ll always be around, to deal with your egocentrism and cowardice, to plan things only on your terms, to impress you, wishing you were a better man, to be a bigger person each and every time we have fight. It gets exhausting understanding you. And FYI, you hit my phone exceeding the regular hours to be having a casual thing and you stare at me sweetly and a little long enough for us to be ‘just friend’. Yes, I noticed and I don’t need you to admit that.

I used to think that you are different, that this is different, that there is no amount of quotes or writers would ever feel the way I did with you and there is no amount of words can make me get over you. Knowing you feel like I’m taking care of you, spending nights on hospital chair beside you while you’re in a coma that you never want to wake up from, that even when you woke up you would have amnesia. Being with you starts with the excitement like when I get to sing my favourite song just to know that it ended as soon as I opened my mouth. Don’t get me wrong, I didn't mean to make you small. If anything, I don’t want anything from you. This is just me releasing every cloud of my breath that belongs to you – to you. I know I must have been greedy, I wanted what was unknown and unreachable for me. During those days I believed that maybe my gentleness can heal all the cracks left by any of your past lovers or enemies. I loved you softly in hope that in the end, even when you want to hurt me you would say ‘this softness came from you.’ That was how I want to love you but not today.

Today, I woke up realising that I need to take my own advice and all the words from every single book that I have read, re-open every saved entry that I didn’t trust myself enough to finish and this time I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry from my own words or from the words of others. I smiled at my surprise and nod along with everything I read. “yes, yes. This is what I need to do.” Then, everything feels right. Everything’s clear. In an equal measure of love and hate, I was entangled and fascinated by you and now I need to save myself from drowning further into the void of illusions you created.

I listened to the other side of me, the voice that echoes in my head whispering you’re not my everything. It’s true. After everything that has been said and done, you’re not my everything. You’re not my final destination, you’re not my home and clearly, you aren’t supposed to stop me from shining. You are just a rock that God throws at me to see if I keep falling or standing up. The thing that proves that under this soft exterior lies me who can fight. Between that rock and the hard place, I choose to chin up, keep standing and remake my world. I’m here to say that what they say is true after all, I did wake up today and I moved on. I did not have to think it twice. I just did. I read what you have been up to – probably for the last time and felt nothing. You no longer excite me, you didn’t make me sad and right when I’m writing this – I don’t want to know what are you doing or who gets your attention anymore. I didn’t miss you – at all.

As I lay in sick bed I thank God that He healed me today. Who thought that He would heal me the same day he gives me this sickness? He must’ve listened to all my silent prayers, feeling pitiful seeing how small I can be and lift me up again by this way. I want to believe that this is a blessing in disguise. It finally hit me that you never there when I’m sick and how you never checked up on me when things didn’t go well. I realise that even though when I’m sick, I never needed you or your help. I can take care of myself – I always been that way. I got me and when I want something, I didn’t ask you for it and if I need help I didn’t need to worship you. My success and mistakes are not yours to ponder. I didn’t live to follow your terms. You didn’t make me. You’re not my everything – but He is.

May every day will be reminded of these sentiments especially when I forget to put myself first – like you always did. Thank you for teaching me what I’m searching for and while I’m still at it lets enjoy a little bit Adele shall we –

“Send my love to your new lover Treat her better We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts We both know we ain't kids no more”

Who thought that it will be today? Who would have thought that it was this easy?

Feea Farhanah. 14/02/2017