#what if you were just a little guy what then. just a little baby. a creature. hold like hambaga

[harrysfolklore]

nepo boyfriend - fc43

summary: franco colapinto is dating leo messi's daughter, which makes him a "nepo boyfriend"

folkie radio: GUYSSS HERE IT IS! took me a minute to do this requests but there you have it. i had to educate myself on messi lore for this and omg he has the cutest love story with his wife, im obsessed lol. anyway, i hope you like this!

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by francolapinto, olliebearman and 202,826 others

yn.messi home 🤍🇦🇷

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username1 IT GIRLLL

username2 coolest nepo baby

username3 ESPERA is that franco colapinto??

└ username1 she's been dating franco for years now 👀

└ username4 our boy stealing messi's daughter's heart purrrr

username5 little messi has a boyfriend???

└ username1 yeah he's literally argentina's next f1 star

francolapinto mi hogar está dondequiera que estés ♥️ [home is wherever you are]

└ yn.messi 🫂🤍

username6 imagine your dad being the most famous sportsman ever and dating a cute guy and wearing cute outfits. she has the dream life

username7 i can’t wait for franco to make it to f1 so they become the paddock it couple

liked by francolapinto, yn.messi and 509,268 others

williamsracing BREAKING: Franco Colapinto joins Williams Racing for the rest of the 2024 season. Welcome to the family, @/francolapinto!

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username1 OMFGGGGG

username2 poor logan but franco is really talented he deserves this chance !!

username3 HES SO CUTE HELLO??

yn.messi mi campeón 🫶✨ [my champion]

└ francolapinto ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

└ username1 LEO MESSI’S DAUGHTER??

alex_albon Welcome to the team mate!

└ francolapinto gracias Alex! Ready to learn 💪

username4 ARGENTINA IS BACK IN F1

leomessi 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

└ username2 LEO COMMENTING ON F1 POST??? history

└ username3 argentina’s pride and joy already

username5 IS HE SINGLE??? PLEASE TELL ME HE IS

username6 new fans you better learn the franco lore bc there’s plenty of it

username7 WAIT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT THAT-

liked by francolapinto, lilymhe and 389,766 others

yn.messi first of many. orgullosa de vos siempre 🤍 [proud of you always]

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username1 awe 🥹🥹🥹🥹

username2 MY BABIES

username3 THEY’RE TOGETHER ???

francolapinto gracias por todo mi amor ❤️ [thank you for everything my love]

└ username3 HE CALLED HER MI AMOR I'M CRYING

└ username1 someone check if i'm breathing

└ yourinstagram i love you!

username4 THE WAY SHE'S BEEN THERE SINCE FOREVER

└ username1 that's real love right there

└ username2 watching them grow together >>>>>>

williamsracing Our favorite supporter 💙

└ yn.messi 🫶🫶

lilymhe welcome! 🥹💗💗

username5 my girl really said forget football i'm going racing

└ username1 leo watching his princess date a racer instead of a footballer: 🧍‍♂️

└ username2 the crossover we didn't know we needed

username6 remember when we thought those pics in buenos aires were edited??

username7 THE MINI MESSI AND THE F1 DRIVER, THIS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE

username8 first we got leo bringing us the world cup now franco in f1 🇦🇷

└ username2 and yn connecting both worlds, iconic behavior

username9 the way he looks at her in the first pic >>>>>

username10 IM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

liked by username1, username2 and 56,827 others

f1gossip 🚨 Williams driver Franco Colapinto spotted with YN Messi (yes, THAT Messi's daughter) at dinner in Monaco

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username1 WAIT WHAT??? HOW DID WE NOT KNOW THIS

└ username2 they've literally been together for like four years 😭

└ username3 where have you been living?? under a rock??

username4 messi's daughter dating an f1 driver?? didn't see this coming

└ username2 she's been at every race supporting him!

username5 they're literally the cutest couple in f1 rn

username6 probably just wants messi's connections for sponsors tbh

└ username2 he literally got the williams seat on merit stfu

└ username3 tell me you know nothing about franco without telling me

username7 she could do better than a pay driver

└ username2 clearly you haven't watched a single f2 race

└ username3 worry about your own life challenge

└ username4 he's literally argentina's biggest racing talent in years

username8 why isn't she dating a footballer instead??

└ username2 because she can date whoever she wants??

username9 they've been together for ages, internet using internet internet explorer fr

└ username3 real ones remember their first spotting in buenos aires

username10 the amount of sponsorship money williams must be getting

username11 this is actually so cute. from f2 to f1 together

liked by username1, username2 and 5,028 others

francoupdates here are some pics of franco and yn messi through the years since some of you are new to this

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username1 THE WAY SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN HIS BIGGEST SUPPORTER 😭

username2 power couple since day ONE

username3 that pic of her at the pitwall watching him race >>>>>

└ username1 the way she still does this at every race 🥺

username4 REAL ONES HAVE BEEN HERE

username5 they were so tiny i can’t

username6 LOS AMO

username7 young yn watching franco race vs now analyzing his data

username8 here to spread the colapinto x messi agenda

username9 argentina’s it couple since forever

username10 SIMP BABY FRANCO I CANT

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liked by landonorris, yourinstagram and 1,023,477 others

francolapinto Points ✅ BZRP cap ✅ Nepo boyfriend things ✅

Gracias por el apoyo! [thank you for the support]

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username1 FRANCOOOO 😩😩

username2 he’s never letting the nepo boyfriend thing go i love him

username3 this divaaaa

yn.messi and they said dating messi's daughter got you the seat... weird way to spell pure talent

└ francolapinto clearly i'm the worst nepo boyfriend ever

└ francolapinto te amo hermosa ❤️

└ username1 HELP THEY'RE SO FUNNY TOGETHER

williamsracing More of this please! 💙

username4 worst nepo boyfriend ever actually delivers results

username5 embarrassing nepotism attempt tbh

username6 not him actually being talented and making us all proud

username7 THE ROOKIES BRINGING POINTS HOME

leomessi 🙌🙌 Vamos!

└ username1 JUST ICONIC

└ yn.messi the payment for his permanent seat is due next week don’t forget!

└ username2 IM SCREAMING

username8 the way they're both trolling the haters i love them sm

liked by francolapinto, alexandrasaintmleux and 402,277 others

yn.messi mi lugar favorito [my favorite place] 🤍 pit stop before mexico city

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username1 AWEEEEE

username2 how can anyone hate this couple

username3 THE. HAND. PLACEMENT.

francolapinto perdiste en fifa mi amor [you lost in fifa]

└ yn.messi te dejo ganar 😌 [i let you win]

└ landonorris exposed by your own girlfriend mate

└ username1 I LOVE THEM SO BAD

leomessi ❤️

username4 this is what we mean by relationship goals

username5 THE WAY SHE EXPOSED HIM ABOUT FIFA 😭

username6 football royalty 🤝 f1

username7 this is such a great crossover i can’t

username8 LOS AMO [i love them]

lilyhme 💗💗

username9 taking franco to her dad’s matches 🥹🥹

username10 i’m so parasocial about them

liked by username1, yn.messi and 12,043 others

francoupdates Franco opens up about his relationship with YN Messi in recent interview:

"I met her at an event in Argentina back in 2019. She didn't even know what DRS was back then and now she corrects my racing lines in the sim. We grew up together through all this - F3, F2, now F1. She's been there through the tough times, sleeping in paddocks, the uncertain seasons. The nepotism jokes are funny because if you knew how many nights we spent budgeting for the next race... Being Leo Messi's daughter was never part of our story. It was just YN and Franco, trying to make it work while chasing a dream and loving each other very much”

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username1 NOT ME CRYING OVER THIS

username2 NOT HIM SAYING SHE CORRECTS HIS RACING LINES 😭

└ yn.messi someone has to 🤷🏻‍♀️

└ username1 HI YN I LOVE YOU 😭

username3 "just YN and Franco" 🥺

└ username2 this is actually so wholesome

username4 "budgeting for the next race" but they said nepotism 🙄

username5 THIS IS THE PUREST THING EVER

username6 MY CORAZON [my heart]

username7 haters don’t know a single thing about their story, they have been soulmates for years now

username8 cute but we do need messi connections for that seat 😩

username9 IF THEY DONT GET MARRIED ISTG

username10 real ones have been here since that buenos aires spotting

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francolapinto added to their stories

[the prettiest is ready for vegas]

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liked by yn.messi, williamsracing and 678,923 others

francolapinto 3 more races let's gooo! ready to prove nepotism requires talent sometimes 😌✌🏼 (yn stop rolling your eyes at my jokes mi amor)

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username1 I LOVE HIM SO BAD

username2 he’s never letting the nepo boyfriend jokes go

yn.messi i'll stop rolling my eyes when you stop missing apex points honey 😘

└ francolapinto MI AMOR WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

└ alex_albon she's got data to back this up mate

└ williamsracing YN: 1, Franco: 0

└ username1 I LOVE THEM SM

username3 NOT YN ROASTING HIS RACING LINES IN THE COMMENTS

└ username4 MOTHER CHOSE VIOLENCE TODAY

username5 no one can convince me they aren’t the best couple ever

username6 bro got called a nepo boyfriend once and now that’s his brand

landonorris 😂😂😂

username7 okay but when is messi going to get franco a seat fr

username8 worst nepo kid ever he doesn’t even have a seat yeat

liked by username1, username2 and 43,022 others

f1gossip Franco Colapinto and YN Messi spotted getting cozy at XS Nightclub in Vegas after qualifying 🎰 Apparently someone forgot Papa Messi might see these 👀

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username1 FRANCO BABY WHAT ARE YOU DOING LEO'S GONNA SEE THIS 💀

└ username2 man's risking it all before his first full season

username2 breaking: franco colapinto will not race tomorrow due to mysterious disappearance

└ username3 leo messi spotted buying a plane ticket to vegas

username4 it was nice knowing you franco 😭

username5 WILLIAMS RACING SUDDENLY LOOKING FOR NEW DRIVER

username6 someone check on franco pls

username7 pov: you forgot your girlfriend's dad is literally lionel messi

username8 leo messi about to show up at williams garage

username9 THEY’RE SO CUTE THO

username10 MY PARENTS ACTUALLY

liked by francolapinto, lilymhe and 401,827 others

yn.messi vegas was fun ‼️ papi please don’t check your phone

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username1 HEEEEEELPP

username2 BESTIE YOU’RE INSANE

alex_albon Kids these days.. they don’t know how you behave

└ username1 imagine alex just babysitting them at the club 😭

username3 BABY WE ALL SAW THE PICS

username4 just in: leonel messi spotted planning vehicular manslaughter

username5 FRANCO MOVE TO ANTARTICA ITS NOT TOO LATE

francolapinto i’m scared..

└ username1 WE ALL ARE

└ username2 THIS IS TOO FUNNY

francolapinto hermosa 😍😍

└ username3 he said yup my gf’s dad could kill me but i’m still thirsting over her

username6 CAUGHT IN 4K AND FULL HD

landonorris 😂😂😂😂 never a dull day with y’all

username7 franco consider witness protection

username8 DROP THE HAIR ROUTINE QUEENIE

alexandrasaintmleux been there donde that…

username9 there goes your possible seat franco leo messi is not paying for it anymore

username10 MENACES

liked by username1, username2 and 29,726 others

francoupdates Franco with one of YN’s little brothers in Qatar! The Messi’s are there to watch him race 🥹

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username1 OH MY LORDDDDD

username2 THIS IS SO CUTE IM MELTING

username3 her dad is there to have a chat with franco about those pictures in las vegas

username4 FRANCO SEAT CONFIRMATION INCOMING

username5 this is so adorable and the fact that yn’s brothers know him since they were born lrettt much 🥹🥹

username6 FRANCO YOU’RE SO LOVED

username7 leo be like: hello franco i just want to talk

username8 ARGENTINA’S ROYALTY

username9 yn tried to hide her dad’s phone and he just showed up at the paddock with the whole fam

username10 I LIVE FOR THIS

liked by username1, username2 and 43,098 others

f1gossip"Yeah, no pressure right? But honestly, they're like my second family now. Leo's probably more nervous than me - he keeps sending me good luck messages. Thiago and Mateo have been explaining F1 to Ciro all week. And YN... well, she's in bossy mode so she's more focused on telling me where I'm losing time than giving good luck kisses. But having them here means everything." - Franco talking about his girlfriend's family watching him race in Qatar!

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username1 THE WAY HE GETS SHY TALKING ABOUT THEM

username2 leo sending good luck texts is killing me

username3 YN REALLY SAID RACING LINES > KISSES

username4 imagine getting good luck texts from messi 😭

username5 VAMOS FRANCOOOO

username6 messi family taking over qatar paddock we love to see it

username7 NEPO BOYFRIEND THINGSSS

username8 yn's dad is there to buy franco a set soooo trueee

username9 GOOD LUCK KISSES 🥺

username10 the way he lights up mentioning yn though └ username1 even if she's roasting his racing lines 😭

liked by yn.messi, landonorris and 1,026,287 others

francolapinto Special helmet for Qatar 🇶🇦Celebrando la copa del mundo [celebrating the world cup] ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Had to honor the greatest of all time and well... my future father in law 😅 Gracias Leo por todo [thank you for everything], specially for not killing me for dating your daughter

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username1 FRANCO OMFG

username2 HE REALLY DID THIS

yn.messi "future father in law" someone's feeling brave today

└ francolapinto had to shoot my shot mi amor

└ username1 HE REALLY WANTS TO DIE TODAY

└ leomessi 👀

username3 DID HE JUST- IS THIS A PROPOSAL HINT???

└ username2 MAN'S REALLY ANNOUNCING HIS INTENTIONS ON MAIN

username4 FRANCO CHOOSING VIOLENCE TODAY

username5 bro using a helmet reveal to ask for blessing, respect

landonorris At least the man’s got game 😂

username6 HELP DID HE JUST SOFT LAUNCH A PROPOSAL

└ username1 leo reading that caption: 🔪

username7 future father in law... franco woke up fearless

username8 LATINO GANG RISE UP VAMOS FRANCO

username9 THE WAY HE JUST ANNOUNCED HIS DEATH WISH

williamsracing Lovely helmet design! Also, security has been increased around the garage

alex_albon might need witness protection after this one mate

└ yn.messi don't worry guys papa already knew about the helmet

└ francolapinto MI AMOR YOU COULD'VE LED WITH THAT 😭

username10 never beating the nepo boyfriend allegations

username11 buttering messi up so he can buy him a seat we know

liked by lilymhe, francolapinto and 402,389 others

yn.messi my nepo boyfriend who couldn't even get a point in his first race just finished his first formula 1 season 🥹 so proud of you mi amor, from watching you race karts to F1... i'd say dating the goat’s daughter worked out pretty well 😌❤️ @/francolapinto

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username1 THIS IS SO CUTE

username2 the second pic i’m SOBBING

francolapinto from being the worst nepo boyfriend to getting points... all thanks to you mi amor ❤️

└ yn.mesi you're still the worst nepo boyfriend but i love you

└ alex_albon get a room you two

williamsracing Nepo strategy successful ✅

username3 living the nepo dream fr

username4 THE WAY SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN HIS BIGGEST SUPPORTER 😭

username5 from karting girlfriend to f1 wag upgrade

username6 they keep bringing up the nepo boyfriend thing 😭

└ username1 she'll never let him live it down

username7 YN AND FRANCO SUPREMACY

username8 the nepo jokes never get old

alexandrasaintmleux 🥹🥹🥹🥹

leomessi Estamos muy orgullosos ❤️

└ username1 THIS IS SO ADORABLE

└ username2 franco you’re so loved

username8 SHE'S SO PROUD OF HIM I'M CRYING

└ username2 the way she never stops teasing him though

username9 MY PARENTS SINCE THAT FIRST BUENOS AIRES SPOTTING

username10 OUR BEST WAG NEEDS TO STAY

liked by yn.messi, landonorris and 1,011,965 others

francolapinto What a year... Couldn't have done this without my biggest supporter since karting days @/yn.messi ❤️ Thank you for believing in me even when I was "the worst nepo boyfriend" 😅

And to the entire Messi family - gracias por hacerme sentir parte de la familia desde el primer día. Leo, gracias por confiarme lo más precioso que tienen (y por no matarme todavía).

[thank you for making me feel part of the family since day one. Leo, thank you for trusting me with your most precious treasure (and for not killing me yet).]

Time to work harder for 2025 💪🏼

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username1 FRANCOOO OMFG

username2 this is so CUTE

yn.messi still the worst nepo boyfriend but i guess you're MY worst nepo boyfriend ❤️

└ francolapinto te amo mi amor

└ username1 THEY’RE THE CUTEST

username3 “trusting me with your most precious treasure” IM DEADDDD

username4 man wrote a whole love letter to the messis

└ username1 AS HE SHOULD

leomessi You’re family 🤍 [eres familia]

username5 NOT LEO SAYING HE'S FAMILY I'M CRYING

└ username2 from fearing leo to being adopted by him

williamsracing Family ✅ Points ✅ 2025 loading...

└ username3 GIVE HIM A SEAT

username6 THE SECOND PIC, THEY WERE LITTLE BABIES

username7 THE WAY HE THANKED THE WHOLE FAMILY 😭

└ username1 securing that messi blessing

[eccentricwritingbaby]

baby finn series, welcome home

lando norris x wife!mom!reader

series masterlist

summary - your young family of three has now added another little piece of joy.

masterlist

-

the hospital lights shone as dim as they could get and cascaded along your tired, slumped body. you stared off towards the hum of monaco, out the window, taking in the peace that has overcome your mind. even though the next few months of juggling a newborn as well as a toddler would be difficult for your young family, the physical struggle was now over for yourself, and you and your husband had welcomed a lovely and healthy baby girl into your growing home. 

calmly coming into the world on a crisp december night, eleanor cisca norris, approached your lives bringing nothing but love and a little extra chaos. but ‘what would the norris family be without a small riot?’ your husband had ironically asked while you were soothing the crying baby for what felt like the hundredth time. having done this once before, your mom skills were at a high, swaddling game down, and breastfeeding locked in. your husband was also in his element, finally having his baby girl. 

you turned your attention away from the window and in the direction of the now two-time father, currently soaking in skin to skin time with his baby, sitting in the quietest corner of the room. she laid her peaceful head on his bare chest, sleeping soundly to the rhythm of his heartbeat. he spoke to her in the calm solace that he only reserved for you or finn, now adding little eleanor, or lola as he has elected to nickname her, to that list. you watch in awe, your heartrate picking up slightly as you feel yourself fall in love all over again with the man before your eyes, watching his gentle mannerisms that you had seen once before with finn in this exact hospital. he catches your eye, sending you a tired smile, and holding lola just a tiny bit tighter, as if once he lets go, she may slip away. 

your eyes are dry as you keep yourself from blinking, scared the moment will end if you do. as if he can read your mind, lando gives you a soft nod, telling you in your own telepathic language of love that, it’s alright, we’re here, get some sleep. 

one thing that he will never communicate without making sure that you hear it is whispered out as you begin to close your eyes, “i love you, y/n,”

“i love you too, lan,” you whisper back, as sleep and exhaustion win their battle against your mind and heart. 

the morning is brighter than normal, your baby girl now a whole day old, you and lando getting back into the swing of a newborn - having been woken up every two hours throughout the night - and yet the excitement stands. today was the day that finn would arrive at the hospital and get to meet his baby sister. 

you held lola in your arms, lando sitting next to you on the bed with one arm wrapped around the both of you. his other hand gently strokes your own arm, holding you close, and attempting to give you all of his appreciation in the world. 

“you did so good, love,” he whispers into your temple before placing a soft kiss there. 

“thank you, baby,” you sigh, exhaustion still hitting you, “when will finn be here?” you ask, not taking your eyes off the lovely lady in your arms.

“my dad said they’ll be here soon,” he whispers, eyes not leaving little lola either, “said finn was bouncin’ off the walls to come see us,” he chuckles.

“i believe that,” you laugh, “the little guy is so excited to meet her,”

as if lola could hear the conversation about her big brother, she begins to squirm in your arms, letting out a melody of baby gurgles as your husband and you swoon. lando begins to coo at the little girl as you turn to admire him instead. fatherhood always looked damn fine on him, and always will. a small knock on the door jolts the two of you out of your newborn babymoon, and instead towards lando’s parents and a sweet little boy wiggling around in his papa’s arms. 

“hi, bubs!” lando excitedly whispers as he removes himself from the bed and heads to his firstborn, taking him from his own father, “daddy missed you baby,” he giggles, kissing all over finn’s face.

“i miss you, daddy!” finn lets out between laughs as his father continues to kiss his entire face. cisca and adam eye the little girl in your arms and both ‘awe’ at the sight. they head over to you, and your eyes are already welling up at your firstborn son. 

“would you like to hold her?” you ask in the direction of the two parents, and adam steps slightly back as his wife nods her head.

“shouldn’t finn hold her first?” she asks tentatively, still reaching her arms out for the baby.

“i would prefer to hold him right now while you soak in some newborn time,” you laugh with the handoff between you two. she sighs at the sight of the small baby in her arms, wrapped in pink with a small bow hat adorning her head. adam wraps an arm around his wife as they smile, before he moves to take his own son in his arms, leading lando to plop finn on the bed and let him crawl towards you. 

“hi baby,” you sniffle as you hold him, emotions at an all time high.

“why you cry, momma?” finn asks loudly, leading your overprotective husband to snap his head towards you.

“i’m just so happy to see you, baby. momma missed you,” you let out a quiet sob along with a chuckle, lando coming over to kiss your forehead. 

“when will your parents be in, y/n?” adam asks you as he pulls you into a gentle hug of his own.

“they’re catching a flight tomorrow, should be at our house when we get back there,” you softly say, rocking finn in your arms as he cuddles into you, “they’re going to stay with us for about a week to help out a bit,”

“that’s good,” cisca sighs, still entranced by the newborn in her arms.

“do ya wanna know her name, mum?” lando quietly whispers, perching himself back on the bed to hold you and finn. she nods softly, carrying herself with such grace as she always does.

“eleanor cisca norris,” you let out as she snaps her head to the both of you. 

“oh my,” she sighs, “you two don’t know what that means to me,”

“you’ve beyond been there for me during this pregnancy and finn’s, it was only right,” you nod. she hands little lola over to adam and pulls you both into a hug as she tears up. 

“thank you, both,” 

“of course, mum,” lando sighs, tears pricking his eyes as well. 

“is it time for the little man to hold his baby sister?” adam asks, holding the baby out to you. you nod gently, rearranging the way finn was sitting on your lap in order for lola to be placed on top of him. cisca quietly records the interaction with her phone as adam sets her onto finn, lando opting to hold her head for him, and you hold onto her body to help.

“woah,” finn lets out as he gets a close look at her.

“what do ya think, bubs?” lando whispers, eyeing the little boy in your lap.

“she’s really small, daddy,” he laughs, letting the whole room let out giggles too.

“she is, buddy, that’s why you need to be gentle with her, okay?” lando teaches his son.

“i will, daddy,”

“i know you will, bubs,”

-

two days later and you have returned home, basking in the extra help of your parents and lando’s, along with the plethora of gift baskets that had been sent over from drivers and teams and friends. 

it was a calm evening, lando bouncing the quiet baby in his arms as your parents had retired to their guest room in order to catch up on jet leg. finn was playing around the living room under your supervision until the knock at your door had you moving. the little lightning bolt of a three year old had gotten there first, jumping up and down near the door - he knew exactly who was behind it.

“i wanna answer! i wanna answer!” he shouted with excited giggles.

you laughed in response while attempting to calm him, “okay, okay, but baby you need to remember baby sister is trying to sleep, alright? so let’s try and quietly welcome our guest,”

“otay, momma,” he lets out in a loud whisper as you giggle again, unlocking the door and stepping aside to let carlos and rebecca in. 

“hola, finn,” carlos laughs as your baby boy pounces on him, “and hello to you too, y/n, you look well,” 

“as good as i can do for still being in a diaper,” you all laugh as rebecca hugs you and you all head to the living room.

“aye, there she is,” carlos sighs at the sight of lando and lola, finn still clutching onto him. 

“finn, baby, get off uncle carlos so he can see your baby sister,” you softly tell the boy, finn immediately climbing down from him and over to rebecca as she scoops him up into her awaiting arms. 

lando exchanges the baby into his friend’s arms, looking on with love and care as he leads you over to the couch and wraps you in his own embrace. carlos and rebecca sitting on the couch across from you both, holding your two most precious gifts, and staring on in awe. lando squeezes you a little tighter, kisses your cheek, and lays your head to rest against him. 

“y’know mate, you look really good as a godfather,” your husband speaks up, causing the couple across from you to snap their heads up. 

“and you look beautiful as a godmother,” you add in rebecca’s direction. 

“what?!” they both respond with tears in their eyes, clearly ecstatic about the news, and obviously the perfect match to be elected. 

-

[parfaitblogs]

present enough for me ❀ s. reid x reader

in which you're decorating your apartment with your boyfriend, you're all too clumsy, and really, who makes glass baubles these days? 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff tags: established relationship. decorating a christmas tree. mentions of blood. joking about murder and prison (it makes sense i promise). puts up with your shit!spencer reid.  word count: >1k a/n: short n sweet little thingy to keep us going this holiday season ♡

❄︎ advent calendar masterlist

Everything had happened so fast. 

One minute, you were hanging a bauble on the tree, Spencer's ever so familiar voice reverberating around the room as he recites information you had to applaud him for knowing. 

Facts like, "Did you know Germans celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve? Because technically, Jesus was born on the night of the 24th. It's like this for a lot of European countries, actually." And, "Orthodox Christmas is on January 7, because Orthodox centric countries like Serbia, Belarus and Russia follow the Julian calendar, instead of the Gregorian one we do."

And, unfortunately, Spencer Reid's info-dumping is not annoying, but attractive to you. You oftentimes find yourself keenly listening in as he rattles off facts about things you'll probably never understand to the extent he does. Though, he does love over explaining just so you can comprehend some part of it. 

It had, evidently, led to you becoming a bit too distracted by your boyfriend halfway across the living room, adorning the television with tinsel, and resulted in your hand slipping as it slid a bauble onto the faux snow tree branch. It had fallen, and shattered, shards of it exploding across the wooden floor. 

You curse aloud, taking an instinctual step back, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Are you okay, angel?" Spencer calls, and you cringe at the sight of the pieces of bauble on the floor, though nod your head regardless.

"Yeah. You should see the other guy," you mumble, crouching down to the floor to pick up shards of the bauble. 

"No, don't touch—" he's cut off by your hiss as the sharp edge of the bauble slices your skin, your other hand that was already nursing some pieces, closing into a fist around them.

"Fuck," you seethe again, all the shards dropping to the floor at your — arguably stupid — mistake.

"The first health and safety rule when you drop glass is don't pick it up with your hands," Spencer scolds, his slippers padding against the floor as he heads over to you. His hand wraps around your forearm and he picks you up, shaking his head. 

"Okay, well, what idiot makes glass baubles?" you retort. 

"What clumsy idiot buys them?" he shoots back, and you huff because, well, he's got you there. 

"You're supposed to be supportive and nurturing," you mumble, though you're sure if Spencer overbearingly attempted to console your injured hand immediately, you'd question if he's sick.

"I can multitask," he answers, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Up."

You jump off the ground as he picks you up, carrying your body over to the kitchen stool, where he sets you down, away from the crime scene that is a shattered, bloodied bauble.

"It looks like that bauble tried to murder me," you say, staring at the scene. 

"I'll put some caution tape around the tree until it goes to trial."

"I vote two consecutive life sentences."

"Two? What's the second one for?"

"Conning me," you grumble.

He laughs as he disappears into the guest bathroom, just to reappear with the bright red First Aid kit, placing it on the kitchen counter next to you.

"Hand, please," he says, standing in front of you, and you hold out your palm. "Oh yeah, this is pretty bad, huh?"

"I can handle it," you huff, puffing your chest up. "A soldier never shows fear."

"My brave girl," he says, using baby wipes to clean up the blood, gently. "Did it get you anywhere else?"

You shake your head, wincing at the pressure — however slight — over the cuts on your skin. "Just my hands."

He nods his head, and once the blood is cleaned, he's soothing them with some antiseptic cream, trying to keep his touch as featherlike as possible. 

"I liked that bauble too," you mumble as he begins wrapping a bandage around your hand. 

"It's the same as the thirteen other one's of its design in the pack."

"No. It was special," you reply, shooting a glare at Spencer, who surrenders almost immediately. 

"Okay," he slowly nods his head, only really indulging in your antics to humour you. And maybe himself. 

Once your hand was wrapped up, and Spencer had given you a kiss for your undeniable bravery, you were bounding back over to the tree to finish adorning it with trinkets and other decor. 

"Please be careful," he warns, though abandons his post on the other side of the living room to help you with the three. 

Just in case. 

"I'm super careful."

He shoots you a look, that you match with a shit-eating grin, and then you're delving back into decorating the tree. 

By the time you're done, you are not any more injured, and the tree is lit up with an assortment of colours and glitter, and you're smiling, leaning against the television cabinet to admire it. 

The television cabinet dressed with a collection of candles, candle holders, tinsel, and a festive table runner you forgot you even owned. 

A table runner your hand was resting on.

And Spencer was too late in warning you, and your hand swings forwards, before you trip and land flat on your ass.

He doesn't help you up this time.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[strnilolover]

dealer!chris can’t help but be protective of soft!reader

chris always had you stay close if you tagged along on his deals. always telling you, “I just don’t want anything happening to you, baby.” you never minded — chris’ job wasn’t exactly safe, and you understood the unspoken rules of his world.

today was no different. you were tucked at his side, fingers brushing against the bracelets he’d made you — woven bands with tiny beads bearing his initials. he’d given them to you earlier that day, a proud grin spread across his face. “jus’ so people know who y’with.”

you accepted them of course, slipping them onto your wrist before chris took your hand in his and led you to his car. tonight, you were at a party. a place chris really hated being at to do deals, but knew they would make him a decent amount of money.

when he had pulled up to the curb — people were scattered in the lawn, red solo cups in their hands and some already smoking up whatever they may have brought. he put the car in park, killing the engine before reaching over and giving your thigh a quick squeeze.

“stay close t’me alright angel? don’t want ya t’get lost in there.” you let out a small breath, nodding your head as chris smiled at you and patted your thigh.

the deal was going smoothly so far — or so you thought. chris was talking numbers, keeping his tone firm, but one of the guys turned his attention to you.

“didn’t know you brought your girl around, man,” the guy chuckled, gaze flicking to your face, lingering just a bit too long. “what’s y’name, sweetheart?” his tone made you feel a little uneasy, the hair on your neck standing up.

chris paused mid-sentence. his head turned, jaw tightening as his eyes landed on you, catching the way you shifted uncomfortably under the man’s stare. without a word, chris reached down and grabbed your hand — the one with his handmade bracelets snug against your wrist — and held it up.

“see this?” he said sharply, his gaze turning to the man. “means she’s mine. so how about you back the fuck off before we have a problem, yeah?”

the guy blinked, stammering something about not meaning any harm, but chris didn’t let go of your hand. he tugged you closer, tucking you almost behind him as he glared the guy down. “y’don’t look at her. y’don’t talk to her. ya get me?” and the guy nodded quickly.

once the deal wrapped up, chris’ demeanor softened instantly. he glanced at you, his thumb brushing over the bracelets as he held your hand in his. “y’okay, baby? m’sorry about that. some guys just don’t know how to act.”

you nodded, squeezing his hand back, your voice low — almost to quiet to hear over the blaring music. “it’s okay, chris. you’re always looking out for me.”

chris smiled faintly, bringing your hand up and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “always, baby. always.”

[somnoir]

How to pull a Batman by J. Constantine

John Constantine wouldn't say he was quite fond of children. He's not fatherly by any means so he knows that he's not suitable for raising children. It's just that he somehow ends up with a young girl at his front door (how she found the house of mystery, he's not sure). The little girl looked normal but she felt off. Too drenched in death to be a run-of-the-mill child. Her red hair seemed to turn into flames at the tips, and her eyes were eerily teal and glowed. Everything about her seemed wrong.

"Hello." She murmured, "Clockwork told me to come find you."

And she was just blinking, looking utterly uncanny as John reluctantly welcomed her into the house. "Master of Time?" He hesitated, knowing that amongst the many powerful beings he'd met the ancient of time had been one of them. A mirthful entity who seemed amused by the chaos and order of the multiverse. 

"He told me to give you this!" The girl fished out a glowing green paper from... y'know, he's not sure. 

And in mocking calligraphy the words:

"You owe me :). p.s. there's more."

was directed at John like a fucking signal. 

Great... Being indebted to the cosmic entity of time has made him a father.

He thought it'd happen one time. Just once. Little Jasmine was adept at the occult and got along well with ghosts, often playing peacemaker when one of them tried bothering Constantine. She was concerningly liminal for a twelve-year-old child, but she brushed it of for the fact that her siblings were either halfas or very liminal. Was he concerned, admittedly yes. 

It wasn't until there was a pounding at the door again did he start praying to any god willing to listen. But no. The sentient house practically dragged him through the halls and led him to where Jazz was eagerly waiting, a grin on her face. 

"My baby brothers are here!" She excitedly says, eyes practically sparkling as she grabs him by the hand. 

"Slow down, darlin'. They won't bloody leave if we slow down." He sighed in exasperation, before pulling the door open. Two pairs of eyes stared into his very soul, making his breath hitch.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What the hell was Clockwork sending him?!

"Danny! Dan" Jazz squealed, dragging the two halfas into the house. One with green eyes and another with red. 

"Clockie wasn't kidding when he said he's a sad guy in a trench coat." The one with green eyes muttered, still floating and staying close to Jazz and his twin. 

"Clockwork slept with that?" The red-eyed one unabashedly judged. "Another fruitloop..." The boy snarled.

John Constantine could already predict the future at this point.

Daniel and Dante take to the house immediately, haunting it to their hearts content.

In the course of four years, the hellblazer drowns in the depths of fatherhood, making sure that no one could find out about his children. No. Not even Batman.

He'd be damned (even more) than let anyone involve the best parts of his life in contingency plans and whatnot. 

His kids grow up to be a rowdy and peculiar bunch.

His eldest, Jazz, was turning out to be one hell of a magician. Especially in necromantic arts that he's tried not to touch many times.

The twins, Danny and Dante were little hellions that made him want to tear his hair out. Its later on when Clockwork comes to visit their children (because its joint custody now) that he's informed that one is the crown prince of the realms and to be king upon the expiration of his mortality, and the other was an alternate version of him and was dubbed the world destroyer. 

His fourth child and second daughter had come in the form of Sam, who had popped up in the house and was decorating it with plants he from different dimensions. Also, she was apparently a green witch that now had the powers of the spirit known as undergrowth. The house was green.

His fifth child came in the form of a boy with a red hat and a laptop clutched against his chest. Tucker had seemed so harmless and sweet compared to his older siblings... until John found him performing ancient egyptian rituals and casually hacking into the Pentagon for fun. 

His last (Thank god) daughter was a zoomie toddler. Little Elle had arrived three years after Jazz did. A five year old with such intense wanderlust that he was tempted to buy one of those harness leash thingies parents had their children wear. Also, like the twins in which she was the clone of, she was one hell of a child being directly connected to the speed force.

So in conclusion, John Constantine was the father of three children on the verge of becoming Ancients, a highly intelligent girl with a very deep connection to death, the successor of fucking Undergrowth, and a boy who could effortlessly hack into government systems whilst being a pharao-in-training. 

Batman must never know.

In the far future, John Constantine battles it out with Bruce Wayne, who's children thought it was a good idea to start flirting with his hellions.

Constantine: TO HELL WITH YOU IF YOU THINK IM LETTING MY PERFECT JAZZY PANTS DATE YOUR FLIPPY SON!

Bruce: SHE'S GOOD FOR HIM!

Constantine: YEAH WILL IS HE GOOD FOR HER?!

And then it gets worse once John catches the Red Hood displaying some ghostly courting behaviour towards Dan. And he's just.

Constantine: Tell your children to back off.

Bruce: You think I haven't tried???

Then comes Danny and Tim with their unhinged behavior. Constantine isn't even mad about the fact that his son is dating one of the Bats. He's just concerned about the chaos with these two.

Bruce: okay, that one is not allowed. How do we get them to break up?

Constantine who's already witnessed Danny making plans to brutally murder Ra's for some spleen: Yeah, no. Good luck with that one.

By the time it's just Sam, Tucked, and Elle, he's praying it's not one of the Bats.

He really is.

Tucked is emmersed in his work but that didn't stop him from befriending Bart Allen and the current Kid Flash. Time travel is the one they usually discuss. (Dante and Constantine were very much on the same page when it came to keeping them just friends.)

And then Sam somehow ends up catching the attention of a daughter of Zeus. By this point, Constantine was preparing to fight god again and would have to ask his ex for a favor.

He's just so happy his precious princess Elle was being a sweet fifteen years old and wasn't daring crazy people.

(Damian was being rather suspicious...)

[maybanksprincess]

im your baby

WARNINGS: a little angsty, fluff towards the end, cussing, mentions of sophia, insecurity, reassurance, alcohol consumption, suggestive-ish, mentions of marriage.

lias note — requested by my lovely mootie @rafenroostersgirl, this ask was so amazing and I loved writing about it! im not the best at angst so please excuse any mistakes :( thank you so much for the request. go read her ask here!

pairings: crybaby!reader x rafe cameron

Rafe came to the bar to get a little tipsy and forget about his problems for a while. Ward had been up his ass for what felt like the longest, he had plenty of contracts at home waiting for him to sign, lots of business deals to seal, and on top of everything, he had to deal with your clinginess.

It was very often that you'd get clingy and always want to be around him, but he was a busy man, he'd never dealt with anyone wanting to cling to him, so it was difficult to adjust to. He was used to always being alone, or too busy to think about anything else but what he was working on.

This whole relationship thing was new to him, so naturally he isn't a very touchy-feely guy, and wants his own space, but you were the exact opposite. You always wanted hugs or attention, constantly pulling on his arm or clinging to his side.

he was honestly used to hooking up with girls and leaving the second after, until he met you. Something about you struck his interest, something he couldn't ignore. But geez, no one told him how exhausting it was to have a girlfriend.

On top of everything, he would get strange glances, and cruel words spread over the island about him all because he's dating a Pogue. no kook dates a Pogue. Out of everyone on the island, you'd sort of figure Rafe would be the one to be telling someone else that. But no, he was actually the one in love with a Pogue. Someone who came from the cut. How embarrassing for him....

as he's lost in his thoughts, he's suddenly interrupted by a sweet voice coming from behind the counter. He puts his drink down on the table, his movements slightly sluggish from the bit of alcohol he'd already consumed. he tilts his head up to look at her, taking in her toothy smile, and bartender uniform that she has on.

his thoughts are interrupted once more when she looks down at him, speaking softly "are you okay?" she asks, with a gentle and concerned look, while whipping up a drink for another customer sat at the bar.

he nods his head vigorously, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. he peels his eyes back open and look up at her behind the counter, "yeah 'm fine. jus' a real shitty night." he says, lifting the cup back to his lips.

she tilts her head, gently trying to press the issue, seeing that he was stressed and upset. "Do you want to talk about it?" she says, picking up the cleaning supplies for the counter. his eyes study her, watching as she cleans off the counter, his pupils dilated.

he ponders on the question in his drunken mind for a moment before replying, his words slightly slurred. "yeah, yeah. can i get another one of these though?" he says, raising his glass.

she nods, grabbing the glass out of his shaky hand, pouring the alcohol into it, waiting for him to speak when he's ready. after a few moments, the buzzed blonde lifts his head again, looking up at her.

"My girlfriend, she's just so annoying..." he starts, "I mean she always wants to be next to me, huggin' me and shit." he says, waving his hand and rolling his eyes. he snatches the half empty glass, bringing it to his lips once more, taking a long sip, his words slurred, and voice unsteady.

he swallows the liquid with a loud gulp, turning to narrow his eyes at the brunette once more. "im not used t' that, y'know? its all new to me..." he says, a hint of vulnerability behind his words.

---

Rafe had been ignoring you for a few days now, figuring out ways to end the conversation faster, trying to avoid your affectionate gestures, staying out later, being too busy with work to hangout, it was starting to make you feel like he was seeing someone else.

you looked at his shared location, driving to the location it showed to you. taking a deep breath, you step out of the car, entering the crowded bar. you fiddle with your hands shyly as you walk around to find the buzzed man.

When you finally spotted him, you almost felt relieved, until you saw him talking to the pretty brunette behind the counter, her smile making your insides churn. You came to a halt, hesitating for a moment, before continuing to walk over to him.

you reach out with shaky hands, tapping his shoulder softly, the familiar feeling of the tears starting to form in your eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.

He sees the tears forming in your eyes and he immediately feels a sense of protectiveness and guilt, pulling you to his broad chest, giving you a hug the best he can in his drunken state. he knows better than to say anything, so he waits for you to speak.

"Are you seeing someone else?" you hiccup through the tears, not daring to bring your head away from his chest, soaking his shirt with your salty tears. he shushes you softly, cradling your head like you were the most precious baby in the world.

"no, no, no, hey, 'm not cheating." he slurs, the strong scent of alcohol on his breath making your nose turn up in disgust, but he doesnt seem to realize.

the tears continue to spill looking from him to the lady pouring drinks for people, silently sizing her up, figuring out how she was better than you. Rafe grabs your chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head so he can look you straight in the eye.

even if he was drunk, he really loved you and he wouldn't cheat. no matter how sensitive, clingy, impatient, and poor you were, he knew who his girlfriend was. And for you he was willing to try and change his ways.

he grabs your hand in his bigger one, intertwining his fingers with yours, leading you out of the bar and to his car that costed more than your life.

he cups your cheek in his large hand, the coolness of his ring hitting your damp skin as he looks down at you with soft, vulnerable eyes that are reserved for only you. "Baby you gotta believe me when I say I only want you." he pleads, using the pads of both his thumbs to wipe your tears away.

you sniffle and nod, soaking up his reassurances, and leaning into his soft touches. you knew despite rafe's rough exterior, he was trying to change. and you wanted to be there for him.

"I know..." you mumble softly, pulling him into a tight hug, making up for all the lost time. "Just promise you won't try to hide your feelings anymore. when things get bad at home, you can talk to me."

"i know," he says on the verge of his own tears. "Which is why I wanna marry you... I wanna be with you the rest of my life." a few tears fall from his blue eyes as he speaks.

he pulls away from the hug to slip his gold signet ring off his finger, staring at it for a moment before grabbing your left hand, slipping it onto your ring finger.

"I don't have a wedding ring on me right now," he chuckles in between his happy, drunken tears, "but for now, I want you to have this." he says, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the ring on your finger, his lips lingering for a few moments.

you open your mouth to say something, but you didn't know what to say. you pull him into another tight embrace, sighing softly in relief of being in his arms again, admiring the ring on your finger that was once on his.

"I love you so much, Rafe." You say, even though you could barely speak through the intense emotions that were flooding through your veins.

"I love you too, sweetheart. and I'm gonna be the man you need, the man that you deserve. you hear?" he says, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, picking you up with ease, pressing kisses to your neck.

a mischievous grin spreads across his face, nibbling on your neck. "gotta bring y' home and make it up to you. huh baby?" he grins.

[moki-dokie]

While all of the above is generally best practice i would like to add some contradictory points from experience, as someone who a) is not a horse expert in any capacity but b) grew up around literal cowboys and horse people who very much were.

Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before. and Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight. Go with OP's advice, absolutely. that is ideal. however, i was never once trained to ride a horse. i was plopped on my grandma's old blue when i was all of 3 and told to hold on. definitely wouldn't recommend this lmao but luckily old blue was about the most 'i don't give a shit whats happening to me' horse on the planet. we didn't have saddles. all bareback baby. he died when i was about 5. the next horse i rode at 8. leo, the most sweet and gentle quarter horse i've ever known. and again it was one of those situations where i just got plopped onto his back - again no saddle - and told to have at it. and boy did i. pure bareback with no bridle is terrifying by the way, at least when you're a small 8 year old. but with a bridle it's actually quite fun. i'm sure it would have been better with actual proper lessons about how to sit a horse, but hey, i managed. i did eventually learn to ride in a saddle which was nice when i wanted him to go fast cause it gave me something to hold onto AND i could get my butt up and off of the seat to negate the hard bouncing, but i actually preferred riding him bareback most of the time. it was more comfortable for my legs and being able to feel him under me made me more in tune with him. but i wouldn't recommend it if you don't have an incredibly gentle and patient horse like he was. and frankly i don't know if i could still ride bareback when i'm closer to 40 now lol even a patient horse has its limits, too. leo bucked me once when i was being a shit and making him go through little puddles that he didn't want to. at the time i didn't understand why puddles would freak a horse out, i thought he was just being stubborn. after about the fifth one he had enough and bucked me right off (another benefit of saddles, yall. harder to go flying off lol) into the mud, but then immediately came over to nose my face and check on me. definitely his way of saying 'i'm sorry i had to do that, but you weren't listening to me.'

leo's 'brother', larry, was a wild-caught mustang who had been tamed/broken by the guy that owned all of our horses, one of the cowboys previously mentioned, my moms bf. larry was temperamental as could be expected, and he was absolutely off limits to ride for anyone other than moms bf. i think he knew i was a small and fragile creature so he was never very mean to me, plus leo protected me from him quite often when larry was in a mood.

the third of our little herd was missy. i think she was a quarter horse too idk. but she was an absolute cunt of a horse. i hated her. she hated me. she hated her owner. she hated the fucking grass. but she tolerated mom enough to let her ride. missy was such a mean horse that she was rarely allowed the full pasture like the boys had, because she'd just follow them around biting them and picking fights. while i could pet and brush and feed larry without worrying too much he was going to hurt me, missy i could not go near. idk what missy's story was, but i suspect she might've been a rescue horse. i've never known another horse as mean as she was. oh and she HATED hats lmao. larry could be ridden bareback by the bf, but missy was saddle only.

when leo started getting a little too old for riding (he was already old when i met him. part of why he was so placid.) moms bf thought, for some dumb fucking reason, to get me this spry young pinto as my own horse that he saw at auction. andy. except this horse was a carriage horse. Never had been ridden. and andy was NOT comfortable with it. I think i was like, 11? when we got him. Again, they plopped me onto him bareback. and in about 0.5 seconds i was flat on my back on the ground. moms bf was like "ah we just need to break him in a little!" so got him saddled up - which was a whole Thing because he hated it - and took him out to the lake to get some practice in where there's a lot of open space. well i got about 15 minutes of a very scary ride in bc this horse did not respond to bridle cues or kicking or... anything. so it was just sort of hold on for dear life while he does his thing. and then he bucked again. except that they hadn't fasted his saddle tight enough and it came off with me, and landed squarely on top of me. and in case yall don't know, saddles are fucking heavy. that was like 25 pounds that came crashing down on top of me and i was extremely fortunate that i didn't break a single thing, cause he bucked hard and to this day i've never been airborn that long lmao. smacked my head hard, had the wind knocked out of me twice, landed on my arm all weird, and was heavily bruised by the saddle. that seemed to convince them that andy was, in fact, not a suitable riding horse for a preteen lol

unfortunately i didn't ride again until my late teens. mom broke up with the dude. bye bye horses. but then i had a bf whose grandparents had some. but uhhh.... draft horses. not riding stock. still, assured me these massive clydesdales didn't mind. so up i went. bareback as usual, wondering if i would even survive being bucked off a beast so large. but hey as it turned out? they were right. the big beefy boy was sweet as could be and didn't mind trotting around with me at all, especially since it meant he got to go out into the pasture for a jog and some grazing. riding entirely bareback on a clydesdale at a gallop is one of those things where you're equal parts terrified and exhilarated. i could barely even sit on him because he was so fucking WIDE. surprisingly tho, very smooth gait with those guys, so i wasn't bouncing around a whole lot. it was incredibly fun. i could barely walk when i got off of him. i loved it. and then the fucker bit me as soon as i turned my back on him LMAO chomped the SHIT out of my bicep for like, not reason??? just to be a cheeky little shit? just to remind me that yeah maybe i got to ride but he's still boss? hell idk. that bruise lasted like a fucking month tho.

annnd the last horse i rode was about... 13? years ago when a friend who owns and professionally rides came to visit so we took her to a friend of a friend who does trail rides. for once i was not plopped onto a horse i didn't know bareback. in fact, i was stuck with a fucking pony bc the lady didn't trust i could handle an actual horse, while my friend got some beautiful appy to ride. i was on this squat... idk, haflinger i think it was. all decked out with fancy tack. apparently the calmest of all her horses. he was, for the most part, but you could sort of tell he resented being ridden. or maybe just didn't like strangers much. idk. there's an energy you get when riding horses and he and i just were NOT vibing much. still a pretty fun ride overall, but i would have liked it a lot better if i were higher up and on a horse that was actually having some fun instead of dragging its hooves begrudgingly LOL

so like, personally i stand by the fact anyone can ride a horse and anyone can ride bareback without much practice but it's going to GREATLY depend on the horse itself rather than the rider. definitely isn't any horse for either of those. if you personally are going to do it, or if you are going to write a scenario like that, it'd better be with a fairly lackadaisical horse.

Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap

I'm going to go ahead and preface this with: I comment pretty regularly on clips and photos featuring horses and horseback riding, often answering questions or providing explanations for how or why certain things are done. I was a stable hand and barrel racer growing up, and during my 11 year tenure on tumblr, Professional Horse Commentary is a very niche, yet very necessary, subject that needs filling. Here are some of the literary and creative gaps I've noticed in well meaning (and very good!) creators trying to portray horses and riding realistically that... well, most of you don't seem to even be aware of, because you wouldn't know unless you worked with horses directly!

Some Of The Most Common Horse + Riding Mistakes I See:

-Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before.

Nope. No, no, no, no, aaaaaaaand, no. Horseback riding has, historically, been treated as a life skill taught from surprisingly young ages. It wasn't unusual in the pre-vehicular eras to start teaching children as young as 4 to begin to ride, because horses don't come with airbags, and every horse is different. For most adults, it can take months or years of regular lessons to learn to ride well in the saddle, and that's just riding; not working or practicing a sport.

Furthermore, horses often reject riders they don't know. Unless a horse has been trained like a teaching horse, which is taught to tolerate riders of all skill and experience levels, it will take extreme issue with having some random person try to climb on their back. Royalty, nobility, and the knighted classes are commonly associated with the "having a favorite special horse" trope, because it's true! Just like you can have a particularly special bond with a pet or service animal that verges on parental, the same can apply with horses. Happy horses love their owners/riders, and will straight-up do their best to murder anyone that tries to ride them without permission.

-Horses are stupid/have no personality.

There isn't a more dangerous assumption to make than assuming a horse is stupid. Every horse has a unique personality, with traits that can be consistent between breeds (again, like cat and dog breeds often have distinct behavior traits associated with them), but those traits manifest differently from animal to animal.

My mother had an Arabian horse, Zipper, that hated being kicked as a signal to gallop. One day, her mom and stepdad had a particularly unpleasant visitor; an older gentleman that insisted on riding Zipper, but refused to listen to my mother's warnings never to kick him. "Kicking" constitutes hitting the horse's side(s) with your heels, whether you have spurs on or not. Most horses only need a gentle squeeze to know what you want them to do.

Anyway, Zipper made eye-contact with my mom, asking for permission. He understood what she meant when she nodded at him. He proceeded to give this asshole of a rider road rash on the side of the paddock fence and sent him to the emergency room. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't have the permission from the rider he respected, and was intelligent enough to ask, "mind if I teach this guy a lesson?" with his eyes, and understand, "Go for it, buddy," from my mom in return.

-Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight.

Riding a horse bareback (with no saddle, stirrups, or traditional harness around the horse's head) is unbelievably difficult to learn, particularly have testicles and value keeping them. Even professional riders and equestrians find ourselves relying on tack (the stuff you put on a horse to ride it) to stay stable on our horses, even if we've been riding that particular horse for years and have a very positive, trusting relationship.

Horses sweat like people do. The more they run, the more their hair saturates with sweat and makes staying seated on them slippery. Hell, an overworked horse can sweat so heavily that the saddle slips off its back. It's also essential to brush and bathe a horse before it's ridden in order to keep it healthier, so their hair is often quite slick from either being very clean or very damp. In order to ride like that, you have to develop the ability to synchronize your entire body's rhythm's with the rhythm of the horse's body beneath you, and quite literally move as one. Without stirrups, most people can't do it, and some people can never master bareback riding no matter how many years they spend trying to learn.

-You can be distracted and make casual conversation while a horse is standing untethered in the middle of a barn or field.

At every barn I've ever worked at, it's been standard practice with every single horse, regardless of age or temperament, to secure their heads while they're being tacked up or tacked down. The secures for doing this are simple ropes with clips that are designed to attach to the horse's halter (the headwear for a horse that isn't being ridden; they have no bit that goes in the horse's mouth, and no reins for a rider to hold) on metal O rings on either side of the horse's head. This is not distressing to the horse, because we give them plenty of slack to turn their heads and look around comfortably.

The problem with trying to tack up an unrestrained horse while chatting with fellow stable hands or riders is that horses know when you're distracted! And they often try to get away with stuff when they know you're not looking! In a barn, a horse often knows where the food is stored, and will often try to tiptoe off to sneak into the feed room.

Horses that get into the feed room are often at a high risk of dying. While extremely intelligent, they don't have the ability to throw up, and they don't have the ability to tell that their stomach is full and should stop eating. Allowing a horse into a feed/grain room WILL allow it to eat itself to death.

Other common woes stable hands and riders deal with when trying to handle a horse with an unrestrained head is getting bitten! Horses express affection between members of their own herd, and those they consider friends and family, through nibbling and surprisingly rough biting. It's not called "horseplay" for nothing, because during my years working with horses out in the pasture, it wasn't uncommon at all for me to find individuals with bloody bite marks on their withers (that high part on the middle of the back of their shoulders most people instinctively reach for when they try to get up), and on their backsides. I've been love-bitten by horses before, and while flattering, they hurt like hell on fleshy human skin.

So, for the safety of the horse, and everybody else, always make a show of somehow controlling the animal's head when hands-on and on the ground with them.

-Big Horse = War Horse

Startlingly, the opposite is usually the case! Draft and carriage horses, like Percherons and Friesians, were never meant to be used in warfare. Draft horses are usually bred to be extremely even-tempered, hard to spook, and trustworthy around small children and animals. Historically, they're the tractors of the farm if you could afford to upgrade from oxen, and were never built to be fast or agile in a battlefield situation.

More importantly, just because a horse is imposing and huge doesn't make it a good candidate for carrying heavy weights. A real thing that I had to be part of enforcing when I worked at a teaching ranch was a weight limit. Yeah, it felt shitty to tell people they couldn't ride because we didn't have any horses strong enough to carry them due to their weight, but it's a matter of the animal's safety. A big/tall/chonky horse is more likely to be built to pull heavy loads, but not carry them flat on their spines. Horses' muscular power is predominantly in their ability to run and pull things, and too heavy a rider can literally break a horse's spine and force us to euthanize it.

Some of the best war horses out there are from the "hot blood" family. Hot blooded horses are often from dry, hot, arid climates, are very small and slight (such as Arabian horses), and are notoriously fickle and flighty. They're also a lot more likely to paw/bite/kick when spooked, and have even sometimes been historically trained to fight alongside their rider if their rider is dismounted in combat; kicking and rearing to keep other soldiers at a distance.

-Any horse can be ridden if it likes you enough.

Just like it can take a lifetime to learn to ride easily, it can take a lifetime of training for a horse to comfortably take to being ridden or taking part in a job, like pulling a carriage. Much like service animals, horses are typically trained from extremely young ages to be reared into the job that's given to them, and an adult horse with no experience carrying a rider is going to be just as scared as a rider who's never actually ridden a horse.

Just as well, the process of tacking up a horse isn't always the most comfortable experience for the horse. To keep the saddle centered on the horse's back when moving at rough or fast paces, it's essential to tighten the belly strap (cinch) of the saddle as tightly as possible around the horse's belly. For the horse, it's like wearing a tight corset, chafes, and even leaves indents in their skin afterward that they love having rinsed with water and scratched. Some horses will learn to inflate their bellies while you're tightening the cinch so you can't get it as tight as it needs to be, and then exhale when they think you're done tightening it.

When you're working with a horse wearing a bridle, especially one with a bit, it can be a shocking sensory experience to a horse that's never used a bit before. While they lack a set of teeth naturally, so the bit doesn't actually hurt them, imagine having a metal rod shoved in your mouth horizontally! Unless you understand why it's important for the person you care about not dying, you'd be pretty pissed about having to keep it in there!

-Horseback riding isn't exercise.

If you're not using every muscle in your body to ride with, you're not doing it right.

Riding requires every ounce of muscle control you have in your entire body - although this doesn't mean it wasn't realistic for people with fat bodies to stay their weight while also being avid riders; it doesn't mean the muscles aren't there. To stay on the horse, you need to learn how it feels when it moves at different gaits (walk, trot, canter, gallop), how to instruct it to switch leads (dominant legs; essential for precise turning and ease of communication between you and the horse), and not falling off. While good riders look like they're barely moving at all, that's only because they're good riders. They know how to move so seamlessly with the horse, feeling their movements like their own, that they can compensate with their legs and waists to not bounce out of the saddle altogether or slide off to one side. I guarantee if you ride a horse longer than 30 minutes for the first time, your legs alone will barely work and feel like rubber.

-Horses aren't affectionate.

Horses are extraordinarily affectionate toward the right people. As prey animals, they're usually wary of people they don't know, or have only recently met. They also - again, like service animals - have a "work mode" and a "casual mode" depending upon what they're doing at the time. Horses will give kisses like puppies, wiggle their upper lips on your hair/arms to groom you, lean into neck-hugs, and even cuddle in their pasture or stall if it's time to nap and you join them by leaning against their sides. If they see you coming up from afar and are excited to see you, they'll whinny and squeal while galloping to meet you at the gate. They'll deliberately swat you with their tails to tease you, and will often follow you around the pasture if they're allowed to regardless of what you're up to.

-Riding crops are cruel.

Only cruel people use riding crops to hurt their horses. Spurs? I personally object to, because any horse that knows you well doesn't need something sharp jabbing them in the side for emphasis when you're trying to tell them where you want them to go. Crops? Are genuinely harmless tools used for signalling a horse.

I mean, think about it. Why would crops be inherently cruel instruments if you need to trust a horse not to be afraid of you and throw you off when you're riding it?

Crops are best used just to lightly tap on the left or right flank of the horse, and aren't universally used with all forms of riding. You'll mainly see crops used with English riding, and they're just tools for communicating with the horse without needing to speak.

-There's only one way to ride a horse.

Not. At. All. At most teaching ranches, you'll get two options: Western, or English, because they tend to be the most popular for shows and also the most common to find equipment for. English riding uses a thinner, smaller saddle, narrower stirrups, and much thinner bridles. I, personally, didn't like English style riding because I never felt very stable in such a thin saddle with such small stirrups, and didn't start learning until my mid teens. English style riding tends to focus more on your posture and deportment in the saddle, and your ability to show off your stability and apparent immovability on the horse. It was generally just a bit too stiff and formal for me.

Western style riding utilizes heavier bridles, bigger saddles (with the iconic horn on the front), and broader stirrups. Like its name may suggest, Western riding is more about figuring out how to be steady in the saddle while going fast and being mobile with your upper body. Western style riding is generally the style preferred for working-type shows, such as horseback archery, gunning, barrel racing, and even rodeo riding.

-Wealthy horse owners have no relationship with their horses.

This is loosely untrue, but I've seen cases where it is. Basically, horses need to feel like they're working for someone that matters to them in order to behave well with a rider and not get impatient or bored. While it's common for people to board horses at off-property ranches (boarding ranches) for cost and space purposes, it's been historically the truth that having help is usually necessary with horses at some point. What matters is who spends the most time with the animal treating it like a living being, rather than a mode of transport or a tool. There's no harm in stable hands handling the daily upkeep; hay bales and water buckets are heavy, and we're there to profit off the labor you don't want or have the time to do. You get up early to go to work; we get up early to look after your horses. Good owners/boarders visit often and spend as much of their spare time as they can with spending quality work and playtime with their horses. Otherwise, the horses look to the stable hands for emotional support and care.

So, maybe you're writing a knight that doesn't really care much for looking after his horse, but his squire is really dedicated to keeping up with it? There's a better chance of the horse having a more affectionate relationship with the squire thanks to the time the squire spends on looking after it, while the horse is more likely to tolerate the knight that owns it as being a source of discipline if it misbehaves. That doesn't mean the knight is its favorite person. When it comes to horses, their love must be earned, and you can only earn it by spending time with them hands-on.

-Horses can graze anywhere without concern.

This is a mistake that results in a lot of premature deaths! A big part of the cost of owning a horse - even before you buy one - is having the property that will be its pasture assessed for poisonous plants, and having those plants removed from being within the animal's reach. This is an essential part of farm upkeep every year, because horses really can't tell what's toxic and what isn't. One of the reasons it's essential to secure a horse when you aren't riding it is to ensure it only has a very limited range to graze on, and it's your responsibility as the owner/rider to know how to identify dangerous plants and keep your horses away from them.

There's probably more. AMA in my askbox if you have any questions, but that's all for now. Happy writing.

[vhswolf]

Winners deserve prizes | Landoscar x Reader

English is not my first language, don't judge me too hard :)

I got carried away... Enjoy

Warnings: SMUT, threesome, mmf, switch!Oscar, dom!Lando, sub!Reader, unprotected sex, i think that's all

All started on the floor of Oscar's driver room. The boys were trying to skip some video making for the McLaren socials, playing never ever I ever, drinking capri sun, in the dark while someone's laptop played a "24 hours white scream" video on YouTube just so we could see each other. We all drank after Lando said something dumb that even he had done it. It was my time again.

"Never ever I ever... Kissed a boy." I drank, but it was a good thing to know, after all. Lando drank, but Oscar didn't.

"You did?" Oscar asked confused looking at Lando.

"Yeah... I don't look like the type?"

"You do." I said, making Lando chuckle.

"I don't think there's a type." Osc said, and he was right, but I couldn't lose the chance to pick on him about it.

"You don't look like the type." I said to Oscar, and Lando nodded.

"You would never."

"It's not that I wouldn't, it's just that I never had an opportunity." Oscar said and shrug.

"If I gave you the opportunity, would you?" Lando said, making Oscar blush instantly.

"I..."

"You broke, Osc." I chuckled looking at Oscar.

"Sorry, not my intention, I'm just curious." Lando took a sip from his Capri sun.

"Yes." Oscar said, almost whispering.

That was the first time Oscar and Lando Kissed. After that was definitely more interesting to go out with them, Lando liked to flirt just to see Oscar's cheeks turning bright red and I love to watch them bickering like an old couple. I definitely was not getting in the middle of it, I was just, as Conan Gray would say: People Watching, but one day things started to change.

I was on the after constructors win in Abu Dhabi, it was an understatement that everyone was way too happy and ready to party. We got to the hotel to get ready before going out like we always did, I was sleeping in Lando's room like I always did, so my things were there, when we go in the room Lan threw his things on the bed before going to his lugged.

"Should I wear something fancy?" I said, also going to my lugged. Lando looked at me for a second before speaking.

"I mean, what is your idea of fancy?" I got the two dresses I brought, thinking only about the party after the McLaren win.

"We got, little black dress, and we got a slightly longer red dress. I think the red is more fancy, tho."

"I prefer the black one."

"Should we get Osc to see the winner?" Lando nodded.

"I'm sure he's with me, but if makes you feel better, sure." He got his clothes and threw them in the bed along with his other stuff. As he changed, laid on my bed face down to reach my phone that was charging, and called Osc.

"Hey, pretty." Osc answered, putting his phone somewhere.

"Hey, handsome. I have a fashion problem, can you come here?"

"Lando didn't help?"

"He did, but I want to double-check." Lando laid on top of me, picking up my phone and putting on speaker.

"She doesn't trust my fashion decisions, Osc!"

"I don't blame her, I'll be there in a bit, I just need to put my clothes on."

"I'm really stylish, you guys don't understand the vision."

"Thank you, Osc, love you!"

"Love you too, baby." He finished the call, and I looked at Lando, and he looked at me.

"Hi." Lan said with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Can you please get up."

"Why? You don't like to be close to your bestie?" He asked, letting his body fall even closer to mine.

"I love being next to you, you know that, but we kinda need to get ready, and you didn't even have a shirt on." Lan was so close that everything I could breathe in was his perfume, and I wasn't mad about it.

"It's not like we have a time to be there, come on, girl, live a little." He said, putting his chin on my shoulder.

"Are you OK?"

"Why?"

"You're too clingy today."

"I'm not... maybe a little bit." I chucked.

"Lan, please." He stopped for a second and then looked at me.

"Please? You never said please to me, you normally just punch your way out."

"I'm just being nice, I can punch you if you want." As I said that, the door opened, and Osc came in the room. He looked at us and chucked.

"Should I come back later?"

"No, stay and help me to get this man off me." I said, and Osc came closer.

"It looks very comfy."

"It is."

"I can't with two v one right now." I said giving up and laying fully on the bed. Oscar ran his finger through my hair, moving it out of my face.

"Come on, we won the constructors ship, you should be nice with us today."

"I'm always nice." I closed my eyes in a dramatic manner and I felt Lan lower himself a bit more to leave a kiss on my cheek, but I didn't move, continuing my drama.

"We know, but today is especial." Osc said as Lando distributed more kisses on my face, but he didn't stop there, he made his way down my neck, making me have goosebumps.

"Lan, stop that." I whined, I didn't really want him to stop, but I didn't know if this was where he wanted to go, and Osc is just in front of us.

"Don't whine like that." He got off me, rolling to lay by my side. Osc chucked looking at Lan.

"You broke Lando." I opened my eyes to look at him, and he was laying just like me, clearly trying to hide his little Lando. I laughed.

"Lan...?"

"What?" He said, hiding his face on the mattress.

"Do you like when I whine?" I teased him.

"Come on, don't tease me if you aren't going to sit on my face." Osc laughed and looked at me.

"Are you going to let the poor boy go to a party like this?" Since when Oscar stopped being the shy boy he always was?

"Are you drunk, Piastri?"

"I had one beer, I'm not drunk, I'm just saying, you could help."

"And you would sit back and look?" I smiled imagining the scene.

"Not a bad idea." He smiled too, looking me in the eyes.

"Not helping!" Lando almost screamed in frustration.

"You like the idea, Lan?"

"Just kill me at this point."

"Answer the question, mate." Oscar said in an almost too demanding way, so much so that Lando looked at him with his eyebrows arched, surprised with the bold move.

"Don't talk like that to me." Lando's voice sounded dark, lower than normal, and he wasn't demanding, he was ordering, the "don't do this to me" Lando was out of the window in a second.

"Like what?" Osc said pretending to not understand.

"Oh, like what?" He got up the bed and pulled Osc to stand up, he grabbed Oscar's face with one of his hands. "Like you fucking can tell me what to do, you can't." I sat on the bed to see the scene better.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that." The smile on his face was obvious he meant it, but Lan knew that all too well.

"You two are going to be the death of me." He shook his head and let go of Oscar's face, his white skin was now red from Lando's grip. "And to answer the question..." He looked at Oscar. "Sit back and look, do not cut for me, Osc." I crawled to them and kneeled on the bed by their side.

"So... we are doing this, or you got me wet for nothing?" I asked, making both of them look at me.

"Are you sure?" Lando asked, and I nodded, he looked at Oscar.

"I'm in." Osc answered before being asked anything.

"OK then." He signed to me with his head, and Oscar knew what to do. Oscar's hands went to my waist quickly, pulling me closer to him, he kissed me like he wanted this for a long time. My hands wandered to his neck, scratching it a bit, which made him moan against my lips.

"If I knew you two would like the idea so much, I would've suggested it before." Lando pulled me back by my hair just to kiss me too, his kiss definitely more violent than Oscar's.

"I thought our pretty girl would think it was too much, but I have never been so wrong." Osc said, and I looked at him when Lan moved away from me.

"I would never say no to my two best friends."

"Let's stop yapping? We have a party to attend to." He said, pulling Osc to a kiss. I reached to his belt to unbuckle it, and open his jeans.

"I'll stop yapping if you fuck my mouth." I said.

"I like the idea." He said against Osc lips, before turning to help me take off his jeans.

"If I knew we were doing this, I would've come here before changing." Osc whined.

"Just take it off and stop complaining." Lando said and Oscar did exactly what he said, as Lan gathered my hair in a ponytail, bringing my lips to his dick. "Fuck." He moaned, breathing a little heavier. I felt Oscar's hands on roaming my body, as Lan fucked my mouth.

"I've dreamed with this moment." He opened the zip off my dress, letting it fell on the bed, what left me only in my panties. "I hope you don't care about this." He said before ripping it out of me.

"You're so fucking beautiful." Lando said, drying some of the tears on my face as he pushed himself deeper in my throat. Oscar's hand went to my ass, and he squeezed it, he lowered his face left a couple kisses on my back. His mouth got lower till I could feel his tongue on my clit, I moan against Lando, that did the same in response to it. 0sc is good with his mouth, it felt so good that I was feeling my arms fail me.

"Stay up, pretty." Oscar said holding me and pressed his dick on me. I pulled my head away from Lan.

"Please, fuck me! Pretty, please."

"I can't say no to this." He pressed his tip in my pussy, entering me painfully slowly.

"Please, Osc." I whined as he began to move slowly.

"I fucking love when you whine." Lando said pulling my hair making me look up. "Oh god, you look good as fuck like this." He looked at Oscar and smiled. "You both look good as hell." I got back to suck Lan, listening to his moans.

"You should see you, mate." Osc said, making Lan chuckle as he tries to keep his breathing steady.

"I think we're past the mate stage, Osc."

"I won't call you baby." Osc said, and Lan pulled him to make out over me.

"You can do better." Lan whispered.

"Fuck." Oscar's voice sound weak, his hand reached to my clit, making moan even more.

"Come on..." Lan moaned in a lower voice. "I'm going to cum." He tried to pull away, but I pushed my face against him. "You want me to cum in your mouth?" I nodded slightly. "You two well really be the death of me." He pushed himself to the back of my throat and I could fell his seeds going down my throat, he pulled back letting me breath.

"Lan..." I whined with my eyes closed, Osc pulled against his chest and kissed me, felling Lando's taste on it. Right after I came on Oscar's dick. "Osc, oh god!" He held me up not letting me fall to the bed.

"Where do you want me to cum?" He whispered against my neck.

"Inside."

"Are you sure?" I nodded weakly.

"Use your words, pretty."

"Yes, I'm sure, please."

"That's better." He said and finally let himself cum inside of me. Lando came closer to us and kissed both of us, and I hugged his neck not letting him go away.

"Are you OK, baby?" Lando asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah, better than never."

"And you Osc?"

"Perfecly fine, you?" Lando smiled and nodded.

"I'm fine." He stopped for a second, looking at both of us like he didn't want to forget our faces right now. "If I say that I love both of you, that will be weird?"

"If it is, we're two weirdos." Osc said playing with Lando's curls.

"I would said three weirdos." Lando smiled.

"We have a party to go, after that we can talk a bit better." Oscar nodded.

"But first we all need a shower." I nodded.

"That will be nice." We got of the bed, Osc never let go of me. We got into the bathroom, that looked crowded right now.

"Lan, can you?" Osc pointed to the shower with his head. Lando opened the shower and looked at Osc.

"Lan?"

"You said we're over the mate stage."

[trinityobsessesovatings]

Oh My God~! {ARCANE REACTION}

ARCANE CHARACTERS' REACTION TO YOU IN THE VIRAL TIKTOK NIGHTIE!

characters included; VI, CAITLYN, SEVIKA, MEL, and PAP-i mean JAYCE

CONTENT WARNINGS: suggestive themes, cursing, first time writer probably bad punctuation 😔 and lowercase 😔

i would just like to say; thank you to anyone who gives this a chance and reads it! this is my first time actually like, posting anything like this so this is completely out of my comfort zone. feedback is so very much appreciated.

enjoy! 🥰

vi 

speechless pt.1

girl was cooking you guys a nice lil dinner 

i headcanon that she’s actually an amazing cook

i mean she got music playing in the background on low, the lights in y’all little apartment are dimmed

it wasn’t a special occasion or anything she was just feeling like y’all deserved it

she was in her little zone, humming along to song, bopping her head to the music, occasionally actually singing along to whatever she was listening to

then she hears your feet patting along the floor, when she turns around and sees you she deadass drops the plate that was in her hand

JAW DROPPED TO THE FLOOR

y'all know how she could NEVER stop looking from cait’s eyes to her kirammountains

YUH that was her with you, BUT ALL OVER!

you giggle to yourself, as you look at yourself in the mirror. ‘Oh yeah this is definitely gonna go somewhere!’ you thought to yourself, then proceeded to practically skip out of your bedroom.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU PLAYED YOURSELF!

you cute little nightie is ripped up and you guys are down one plate

congrats 😜

caitlyn

ever since your babygirl became a dictator i mean commander 🤭 sorry y'all 

she has been stressed and had to keep beating maddie off with a stick

she’s pulling the pearl; “I’M MARRIED!” 👹

so you decided to pull the classic show up to her place of work covered in a overcoat

caitlyn already knows what you’re up to and she definitely wants that cookie

she saw the nightie in your drawer the other day

but she’s still gonna let you have your moment

“I got something to show you, baby.” 

you tell her being all… seductive, prepared to surprise your girl.

she deadass hit you with a

“that’s nice, love!” 😊

you’re not impressed 😐

that’s alright though you got something for that ass

guess she just has to make it up to you for ruining the surprise 🤷🏾‍♀️

sevika

stress pt 2

speechless pt 2

half of me wanted to make this based off before she joined the council

but i said NAH make it post war councilwoman sevika

anyway

this WOMAN 😩 stay coming home about ready to crash out after having to deal with the other idiots on the council

this poor woman comes home, grabs a bottle of liquor, and lights a cigar

not before cracking a window though, you got on her for that shit and she would rather not face your wrath again

happy wife, happy life am i right or am i right?

ANYWHO

big mama doesn’t even know your home, it's so damn silent

then you strutting into the living room hitting this pose right here

i’m talking; cigar falling out of mouth, bottle booze hitting the floor with a thump, and she’s standing up and walking towards you like she’s under a spell

i’m telling you if this woman wasn’t so speechless AND stoic

she for sure would have let out an “AWOOGA!”

y'all ended up breaking the couch by the way… and dining room table

mel

deadass… y’all had the same exact idea!

like same idea, same day, YALL EVEN GOT THE SAME EXACT SLEEP DRESS

but both of y’all were giggling at the fact y’all both thought the same thing

literally went something like this:

“I have something to show you!~”

you had called from the closet

“Well I have something to show you as well~!”

she would say from the bathroom

then bam you both see each other and are like 🤨🤭🥴💋

like y’all both went all out

mel got body gold shimmery body glitter on, you got your hair did that morning, you both got on each other’s favorite perfumes on…

yeah y’all both matched each other’s freaks fr

jayce

never in my time of watching this show did i EVER think i would write for this man

but pookie lowkey got me rn… that black fit he wore for like 10 minutes in that one episode

YEAH I NEED THAT, I CRAVE THAT 👹

let's get back to our regularly scheduled program sorry about that y'all 😰

so you and jayce have been locked in since BEFORE the whole hextech explosion

LAWD when you heard your man was in the system 

OPEN THE CELL LET MY MAN OUTTA JAIL

is what you were saying

you were at his hearing in front of the council

almost had a heart attack again when they almost banished him

but look at y’all now!

he the man of progress and you all like:

“dats mine” 😌

THEN he calls you talkin bout some

“oh i'm a councilman now.” 😊

that’s when you decided

“yeah it’s time to give this man the ULTIMATE gluck gluck 3000 with the hextech upgrade”

he comes home from his first day as part of the council and this right here

🧍🏾🥴

because there you are

lights dimmed

rose petals scattered

glasses of champagne

nightie ✅ floor length robe ✅ makeup on sultry ✅

yeah he laid it DOWN on you that night

ready to congratulate your man

next thing his mama, the kirammans, and the council know:

he and his NOW fiancée are expecting

CONGRATULATIONS 🥳

hope you enjoyed! ○( ＾皿＾)っ Hehehe…

[hawkinsbnbg]

Eddie who did all kinds of odd jobs for extra cash and ended up acting as a mascot for a football team.

He had to admit while he wasn't the biggest sports fan out there, the chaos and overflowing energy of the games made the blood run hot in his veins. The enthusiasm, the booming cheering and the loud music almost compensated for the stuffy red bird costume he had to squeeze into every couple of days.

The only saving grace was that Eddie always ran cold, so unlike some of his poor co-workers, he didn't sweat buckets during his shift, and he got to revel in the fun while being his dramatic and goofy self. He danced around people, teased them, joked with them, and posed for their photos.

One of many things that he enjoyed was the kiss cam. As much as Eddie tried to pretend otherwise, he was a romantic at heart, and seeing so many people having fun and being in love really made his day.

Sure there were awkward moments as well where family members were mistaken as couples, but it was just another thing to laugh at, just another tale to recall when they gathered around the table and had dinner together some days or some years later.

Perhaps, that was why when the big screen showed a pretty boy—and damn, Eddie could spend forever to wax lyrical about those pouty lips and doe eyes and perfect hair and handsome jawline. And Eddie wished he could trace those cute little moles with his tongue, to draw constellations on that golden skin and find the answers of the universe—who got ignored and then brushed off by his boyfriend despite his attempts to tell the guy they were on kiss cam, Eddie felt so offended on his pretty boy's behalf.

Without hesitation, Eddie stalked over to their row, took the popcorn from Pretty Boy and upended the whole box over the boyfriend's head just as the guy finally looked up from his stupid phone, relishing the cheers the other spectators gave him.

He then booed at the fuming bastard who looked two seconds away from blowing a casket, pulled Pretty Boy into his chest, and nearly bumped his fist into the air when Pretty Boy giggled and hooked their arms together.

He didn't think, really, he just signaled for Bob he had to go for a while and took Pretty Boy back to the staff room where he peeled off the mascot costume and finally revealed himself to Pretty Boy.

Eddie slightly regretted his impulsive decision because he wasn't looking his best right now; his hair was put up in a tight bun, his face was flushed and sticky with sweat. He only had on a black Metallica cut-off, a pair of sweat shorts for easy movements, his rings, and nothing else.

In contrast, Pretty Boy looked like a model walking right out of a magazine with his baby blue striped polo, washout jeans, RayBan perched on coifed chestnut hair, and worn sneakers.

"I'm Eddie," he introduced, panting a little because of the heat and the pace his heart was slamming against his ribcage. "I hope I'm not bothering you, pretty boy."

Smiling coyly, Pretty Boy leaned in his space and holy shit, Eddie had to swallow the pool of spit gather in his mouth when he detected the floral and fruity notes from Pretty Boy's cologne and body wash. This close, he could see how those hazel eyes dilated, how those plush lips parted just slightly, tempting him to take a taste.

"Hi Eddie," Pretty Boy said, glancing up at him through those pretty eyelashes. "I'm Steve. But you can always call me Stevie, sweetheart, baby, or pretty boy."

Eddie couldn't help but laugh at the cheekiness. God, they just met ten minutes ago but this boy was proving to be the death of him.

"Pretty baby, then," Eddie lifted his hand to brush Steve's cheekbone with the back of it, smiling fondly at the blush that crept up on the soft skin. He met Steve's gaze and raised a brow. "What do you think?"

"I think," Steve licked his lips, red and kissable. "I think you should kiss me."

That Eddie could do. He would happily listen to the sweet little noises Steve made for as long as Steve had him.

He told Steve as much and they ended up going back to his apartment where he showed Steve what it felt like to be his boy. His baby.

Some years later, Eddie made sure to kiss the daylight out of his boyfriend when they were caught by the kiss cam. He wanted to brag as loud as he could that he was the man who had bagged Steve Harrington.

And when someone booed at him for showing off, he flipped them a bird through the camera, making Steve giggle against him. He wouldn't have it any other way.

[currentfandomkick]

Jason would like to go on record that while he is the chosen one and a literal lord of hell, he forgets how ass magic can be as Bruce.

Bruce’s shitton of contingencies does not help him when he gets hit while trying to get his ex-villain idiot away from the Goons in White and they run into a magic fight between two no names.

Bruce’s bullshit contingencies do shit all to help when his proposal to his boyfriend are ruined by said summons-abusing-kidnap session by the Goons in White that are an insult to goons everywhere. His guys were so much better.

No. Jason had to get hit with unknown magic, realize he still had the All-Blade and end up back in hit itty-bitty malnutrition-recovering Robin body.

He barely checked the date—some time during the Gonzales case—before it hit him like a truck his stupid boyfriend/maybe fiancé is half-dead, could have been sent back too, and his parents died on him in one timeline and in another Jay ran into street rat Danny and his big sister faking their way from the Bat’s attention successfully; after having been almost killed by his parents and having had a miscarriage around this time. The pair introduce him Dan a few years back as their big brother… and well. He has a type. And so does Dan.

So Jason did what made sense; grabbed his go bags and ran off to save his future boyfriend(? God he fucking hates time travel) from being tortured by his shitty parents with his baby brother.

Jason went to one of his old safe houses pre-Robin era—the one the Fentons later claimed as their home—only to find it occupied by a familiar face.

“Danny?” Jason checked.

The guy tensed up, saw Jason and shut down. “Who are you?”

Think fast. What would help the Fenton three most?

“Peter Todd.”

Danny’s shoulders slumped. “Oh, hey Hoo—i mean—wait. Sunshine?”

Jason only knew one Fenton who dared to call him that.

“Sup Eridanus,” Jason cracked a smile.

It hit Jason as His Dan flung himself about Jason while crying that Dan was not always built like a shithouse, but had always been annoyingly tall. Or Jason was just severely stunted still.

“Shit, I was trying to get here before you died, I,” Dan kept babbling. Jason tuned it out, letting his boyfriend (if he remembers the timeline, Jason’s counting it until they can have a Talk) cry it out.

“Sorry, shit, pregnancy hormones are a bitch!”

Jason froze as he remembered a Lot about how Dan spoke of Vlad, his ‘other dad, sort of. Its complicated,’ and how Danny and Dan stated they preferred being seen as twins despite the age gap.

Danny and Dan were likely one person before the experiments. Both are from the IR and only one being can control a body at a time.

“Shit, do we need to make you a body?”

“Worse! I get to birth the Dannies if things go right, i think? Core pregnancy in halfas is not exactly a known science.”

Jason nodded slowly. His now pregnant boyfriend/maybe finace and him were thrown back in time. And he was scheduled to die in about two weeks time…

Fuck how much of the timeline before hinged on Tim’s specific bullshit? Didn’t the little shit save the universe in a baseball game?

The world is Fucked if Tim is not Robin by then and able to manage that crisis…

Dan seemed to work out similar issues on his side. “Fuck Amity, they didn’t do shit when my parents tried to kill me the third time.”

Jason sighed. “So tip line to the JL?”

“Anonymous—I can manage that much, uh, any idea where other ecto-rich cities are?”

Jason hummed. “Well, there is the Cradle… think we can convince Talia to screw with Bruce by training me and helping me start up Red Hood again?”

Dan hummed in agreement, still clinging to Jason. “Think she’ll be cool with me having a teen pregnancy?”

“Honestly, Dami needs the character development of being an older brother. She’ll croon about being a grandma and help plan the wedding.”

“Cool cool cool. Think señor creepy will stop me from telling my rogues I’m good just pregnant and staying at a safer location using those stanky pitts that brought you back the first time?”

“… how long have you been gone.”

“A week. Amity should be on fire, but uh, JL should be able to handle removing the portal. I think.”

“… not our monkey?”

“Not our circus… fuck you are tiny.”

“I can take you out right now.”

“Pregnant.”

“Goddamnit.”

Edit: posted on wrong thread. @goddessofbees here for the art

dandad au where jason never reveals to the bats tgat he's alive: they find out because mar'i grayson and the twins go to the same kindergarten/pre school and become insanely close. they try to set up a playdate and dick fights jason because he thinks he's a clone.

It was on sight. I gotta say when Jason never reveals his identity to the batfam is one of my favorite tropes.

Starfire and Dan were picking up their kids from kindergarten and noticed the other wasn't exactly human and that their kiddos got along and set up a playdate without realizing that their partners were Dick or Jason. After the whole fight happens there is a long talk and tears(mostly Dick), Dick and Starfire are the only ones that found out about Jason so far.

[mlyscha]

( 🤌🏻 ) 𝒞h𝓮𝗳 𝓀is𝐬 ᵎᵎ

★ ( 언하이픈 OT7 ) ── 𝓡EACTION: when they are a victim of your terrible cooking. genre. crack, hahahaha funny stuff, domestic. 𝒻ℯ𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗿𝖾𝖺𝒹𝖾𝗋! warnings. mentions of food, curse words, not proofread, english is not my 1st language. 𝓌𝒸. 1,89O ♡ 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱! ( 𝐦𝖺𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍. )

𝒜!NOTE. back from vacation and ready to write a ton for you guys! also, we are close to 300 followers omgggg im so grateful ya'll... <3 by the way, the gif choice was completely intentional!!! i am not going crazy

𝒽eeseung ( 희승 )

YOU CALLED YOUR BOYFRIEND TO try the biscuits you have made. you were kind of apprehensive because you knew how bad of a cook/baker you are, but, heeseung seemed a little bit stressed earlier so you decided to make him a sweet treat.

when he walked downstairs and encountered at the kitchen holding a plate with the biscuits you baked, he knew it would be a disaster. "for me?" your boyfriend asked, pointing to the plate. you nodded, smiling, excitedly waiting for his reaction. heeseung seemed hesitant, so you said: "eat it! i made it just for you, baby!" ― he took a deep breath before taking one and quickly taking a bite, like he wanted this whole taste test to finish already.

"how is it?" heeseung didn't swallow, pretending he was chewing and tasting it. "mhm," he began to nod his head, frowning at the biscuit while analysing it. "it's... unique..." he says with his mouth full. it's your turn to frown, confused by his reaction. "bad unique or good unique?" "um..." you noticed him swallowing the biscuit dryly. "unique," "wha-" "baby..." he yawns, placing the biscuit back on the plate, then stretching himself. "let's sleep, mhm? aren't you tired from all that baking?" heeseung pulls you closer to him, kissing your lips passionately while trying to distract you.

"baby," you call him between kisses. "hey," you call him one more time but he didn't even hummed. with that, you gently pushed him away and slowly took one of the biscuits you made, taking a bite out of it. you heard your boyfriend sigh in a frustrated way. "heeseung..." you murmur with your mouth full, slowly turning to look at him. "...yes?" "this thing is raw!"

𝒿ongseong ( 제이 )

JONGSEONG WHEN HEARD YOU WERE going to cook something he immediately tried stopping you, saying that you had him: the best cook in this whole world! ― but you didn't listen to him, arguing that you wanted to let him relax a little bit before dinner. ― you were going to make his favourite soup with a side of microwaved rice. with that, you started making the soup, following a head-made recipe.

"sweetheart, come taste this!" you shouted from the kitchen, holding a spoon with the bowling hot broth. "taste this, baby," you sweetly tell him, gently blowing it to cool. "you tried it?" your boyfriend asked, clearly hesitant. you kissed your teeth, impatient. "just taste it!" watching your expectant eyes shine, he drinks the soup from the spoon, immediately trying to hold a face.

"is it okay?" jongseong turned his face to not let his scrunched nose and frowned brows show. "yeah..." he replies and you smile brightly, excited. "let me try it," you say, spooning some soup for you and drinking it. however, it was... "ah! salty!" you whine making jongseong let out a chuckle. ― in the end, he decided to make some pasta instead of having a cholesterol peak with your delicious soup!!!!

𝒿aeyun ( 제이크 )

YOU WERE MAKING HOME-MADE RED pasta sauce with some tomatoes you have been given, and the question is: are you italian? you could be. are you a good cook? definitely not! with that, you were apprehensive how this sauce could turn out.

"jaeyun! baby, come here!" you called him, knowing he was at the living room watching something on the tv. "yes, princess?" he walks in the kitchen, encountering you holding a spoon with some red sauce. "what is that?" he points at the spoon. "red pasta sauce," you reply.

jaeyun tastes the sauce and frowns. "is it supposed to be... wait, is this supposed to be combined with...?" you shrug, like it was obvious. "pasta...?" you frown. "mhm." he hums. "how is it?" "peculiar..." your boyfriend says. "peculiar? what do you mean?" "it's peculiar because," he cleans his throat, side eyeing you a little bit, trying to measure his words. "it's supposed to be for pasta but it doesn't feel like it's supposed to be for pas-"

"are you saying is bad?!" "i mean..." you scoff, tasting some of the sauce. "oh... now i see why is peculiar..." you say, smacking your lips together while scrunching your nose. "it's sweet... too sweet..."

𝓈unghoon ( 성훈 )

SUNGHOON SUGGESTED THAT YOU ORDERED something instead of cooking, but since you argued you felt inspired, he agreed in letting you make something ― still with a card up his sleeve. you decided to make cheese balls ― wow, big challenge! even though it sounds easy, while breading the cheese, you remembered you had to fry it in hot-bowling oil. you took a deep breath after finishing breading and called sunghoon for emotional support.

"i am nervous," you comment, picking up a utensil that would help to drop the cheese balls into the oil. "i told you to just order a delivery," your boyfriend shrugs. "okay, shut up, let's do this!" you sigh, dropping a cheese ball into the pot full of bowling oil.

the oil started to embrace the breaded cheese ball with its hotness, leading to a quick finish. however, once you were about to scoop it out with the utensil, it suddenly popped ― hot oil exploding and immediately spreading all over the kitchen counter.

you screamed once you felt it hitting you, making sunghoon freak out. "fuck, baby, are you oka-AH!" it was his turn to scream once another pop was heard. "OH MY GOD IT'S ATTACKING US!" he yells and you laugh out of nervousness. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING YOU PSYCHOPATH?!" "i-i," you try to breath but suddenly another pop echoed. "OH GOSH, Y/N TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"

in the end you and sunghoon ended up eating delivered cheese balls and fried chicken, trying to forget about the oily mess waiting to be cleaned at the kitchen.

𝓈unoo ( 선우 )

YOUR BOYFRIEND TRIES HIS BEST to always be the sweetest and the kindest partner in the world, always defending you or trying his best to understand you in every single aspect. it's cute, until you start to feel fooled.

you tried to bake a home-made bread because you thought it was easy and wanted to surprise sunoo with something he will/would never expect coming from you ― or wished, knowing your bad cook fame.

and by the way: you didn't tell him you were baking anything, simply combining the ingredients while sunoo innocently rests at your shared bedroom. you let the dough rest for an hour before placing the, supposedly, well kneaded dough, on a bread pan. you cut lines on it to make it look pretty, placing in the oven after all of this process.

after a few hours, you took it out of the oven, surprised it looked golden brown from the outside. you called sunoo to taste, however, when you excitedly cut the bread in half before he could even walk in the kitchen, you got frustrated.

"what happened? why are you pouting?" you whine before replying. "i think i messed this up..." sunoo frowns, not understanding. "what did you make?" he asked, standing behind you and then holding you close to him, placing his head above your shoulder. "...bread, but it doesn't looks right..." "oh..." he hums, knowing you weren't the best cook, but tried to support you.

"no, baby, you have to taste it before you say something!" your boyfriend argues, leaving you dumbfounded (in a good way). he teared a piece of the stiff bread and hesitantly ate it. the the taste of flour was prominent and it felt doughy as fuck. "um... it's nice!" sunoo says. "sunoo," "yeah?" "you don't need to lie to me..." "i am-" he coughs. "not lying, baby! it's fi-" "your eyes are teary like you want to throw up, sunoo!" you whine and he cuts the act. "okay, you caught me..."

𝒿ungwon ( 정원 )

JUNGWON JUST ARRIVED HOME AFTER a long day out working. while he was away, you decided to bake chocolate chip cookies, making it yourself, trying to surprise your boyfriend.

"hey, baby," you say, welcoming him and receiving a kiss from him. "hi..." he whispers, pulling you for a hug. "tired?" he nodded against your neck. "mhm, something smells good..." he comments with a muffled voice. "oh, yeah, i made cookies!" "you... baked?!" he pulls his head out of your neck after gasping, frowning and worried. "yeah, i did," "oh god..."

"wonnie, let's try it!" you excitedly say, leading him to the kitchen by the hand. "it looks good, see?" he slowly nods, still a little skeptical; even though it actually looked okay. not burnt, chocolate chips okay and not very shiny (sign that is raw). "taste it!" you hand him a cookie and jungwon smiles, gulping down tightly as he gaze at it, analysing ― at this point he was awake-AWAKE!

jungwon takes a bite of it and notices something wasn't right. "y/n..." "mhm?" you cock your head to the side, curious about what he were thinking. "did you... um..." he places the cookie back in the tray, cleaning his throat and then pursing his lips. "is it too sweet?" you frown. "um, no, it's actually salty..." "are you shitting me!" you whine.

𝓇iki ( 니키 )

RIKI TRIES TO STUDY YOUR facial expressions while being under this situation. what i mean is that: if you critique what you have made and it's actually bad, he says is bad; and if you say something you made tastes good, he says it tastes good.

you have made mochi with anko (sweet red bean paste) filling for the first time, and were waiting for riki to arrive home and taste it. you were proud of yourself even though you were aware you aren't the best cook in the world.

when riki arrived from practice you surprised him with the sweet chewy japanese treat. "hi, baby," he says, pulling you for a kiss by the waist after just walking in the house. "hi," you reply. "i made you a little something!" after you say that, riki's eye brow went up, having the reaction you wanted him to ― shock. "you want to try it?" you ask and he takes a hesitant seconds to answer. "...sure." he nods and you lead him to the kitchen by the hand.

"tadaaaa!" "mochi? you made... mochi?" he cocked his brow, surprise with your dedication, yet, skeptical. riki took the plate and analysed what you have made. "it looks... promising." he shrugs, picking one up and offering you other one. "try with me," your boyfriend use his tactics to study your face. "sure! not to brag, but" you take the mochi from his hand. "i am proud of myself!" "so i am proud of you,"

even though he was truly proud of you, once he placed the small white chewy ball in his mouth, something felt off from all of the mochi's he has tasted in his life. he learned what was it: the rice flour taste was strong. however, when he studied your expressions, riki realised you were smiling while chewing on it: happily tasting it. "is it good?" your boyfriend asked. "of course it is! why? you don't like it?" riki noticed how fast your face dropped and your eyes became worried and full of guilt. "no... it's not bad, you know? i think..." he coughs. "i'm just not a very mochi person..." ― you frowned, remembering the time he ate twelve in a sitting.

© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆

[warmilikeit]

Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)

DC x Pjo

Part 13

______________________________

"We have to get off this ship" Annabeth whispers "the amount of monsters here aren't normal, something is going on" she says

You were about to agree then a loud clang was heard, you four quickly hid

Looking at the window you see straw dummies with orange camp half-blood shirts, a Dracaenae (dragon women) rips the dummies and the other monsters cheer

"—Don't push me Agrius!" You feel both Annabeth and Percy stiffen as the sudden voice seeps into your ears

"Luke..." Percy shudders, This Luke guy and his friend were arguing, something about gambling, wait no- that's a metaphor for taking a risk

"it will pay off!" Luke yells "They'll take the bait... Now let's check in the casket"

Tyson whimpered "Leave now?"

Silence...

"please..." He muttered after

The remaining three of you came to an agreement, Percy looked eager and Annabeth looked worried

You sigh "We can't, if this guy is talking about something that relates to camp or something worse, we have to find out"

And if possible beat the shit out of him and drag him back to camp to explain

Annabeth volunteered to go alone, saying she had a camp that turned her invisible so it'd be fine, it was met with both you and Percy objecting and saying everyone will go or no one will

"I vote no one goes! Pretty please?" Tyson pleaded, and it ended with three kids crawling and walking like spies with a big cyclops nervously chewing his fingernails trotting behind

Someone opens the door for Luke and the monster, not another monster... A demigod!

"that's Chris Rodriguez! From the Hermes cabin!?" You exclaim and then you clasp your hands to your mouth after realizing you were too loud

Annabeth looked heartbroken "there are more traitors...?"

______________________________

A certain king of Atlantis is sat across Bruce, the looming presence between the two, but there is a sense of respect shared

"As a father myself I feel like you should know something" Aquaman sighs

The blonde haired king reminisces the feeling of losing a child, his baby was abducted by someone he trusted and he got his little boy back at the end, it was a dreadful feeling

The feeling that no matter how many good you'll do next, the person you wanted it to be for won't be here to benefit, "Diana was mistaken, Your child was spotted by one of my merguards on the sea, they're alive and I thought you should know-"

"Where?! Where is my kid right now?" Bruce had jumped from the table to shake Aquaman's shoulders

"they are at sea on a ship... And I'm afraid they might be in danger, as the ship is heading for the sea of monsters- or what you humans call the Bermuda triangle, and I can't stop it-"

"Why not!? Aren't you the king of the ocean!??"

"Calm down, I am the king of Atlantis, not the sea nor the ocean, do not mistake me for my emperor, Lord Poseidon"

Bruce takes a deep breath, "Why is my baby there?, how can I get them?"

"I believe your child is on a quest, a quest given by the gods, mortals cannot interfere, you only have to wait for it to be over, there is also a chance they may not get out of the quest alive, Bruce... Don't try anything" Aquaman tries to warn

"I'm not letting my child stay in a place called the sea of monsters, I'll find them" he says

The king looks at him with sadness "Unfortunately you cannot find the sea of monsters, it finds you, it doesn't matter if you search the whole ocean, if the sea does not want you finding it, you won't, you are gonna have to trust your child that they have the means to survive this"

Silence took over, then a gentle heartbroken voice appeared "you just told me my baby is alive, and if they die again, I don't know how I'll pull through this time"

"I'm so sorry Bruce, I'll take my leave"

______________________________

"We are SO gonna die here" you whisper in Percy's ear

Annabeth shifts as to the four of you tiptoe into the Captain's door, that's when you hear them, muffled sounds, you push your ear through the door

Luke talking about a casket and a golden fleece, the fleece you guys are looking for! What will Luke use it on?

"I can't hear anything!" Percy frustratingly says, Tyson pushes his ear through the door and speaks, he speaks in Luke's voice

"—the prophecies ourselves, those fools won't know which way to turn" Tyson says

He copied Luke's voice... You forgot cyclops can do that, how... Creepy.

Nevermind the visible uncomfortable tension that Tyson veiled on the you, Percy and for some reason especially Annabeth, Tyson continues to mimic voice, this time a deeper gruffer voice "you really think the old horseman is gone for good?"

You gasp, they are talking about Chiron, then Tyson laughed, it was Luke's laugh "They can't trust him anymore, not with the skeletons in his closet, the poisoning of Thalia's tree was the last straw"

Annabeth shivered, then she yelled "Tyson stop! That's creepy!", Tyson shrunk "I was just listening"

"keep listening" Percy says

Tyson closed his eyes again "—Quiet! I heard something, just outside the door" and before I could tell everyone to hide

Luke opened the door and saw us

A cyclops, a child of Aphrodite, Athena and Poseidon

"Percy! Anne! Long time no see... Who are these two?" Luke gestures to me and Tyson

Fuck.

______________________________

Bruce: I hope my baby is strong enough to complete their quest so we can reunite

(Name): I am so going to die here

@yunloyal @sirenetheblogger @00hellohello00 @spqce-bun @casspen-starlight @eyeless-kun @ghostdoodlen @ratchetprime211 @delias-stuff @sadslasher13 @ellaprime7 @wpdarlingpan @mountvesuvu @chinxinsomnia @nathaly36 @vanessa-boo @bat1212 @ceramic-raven @sweetconnoisseurgardener @dhanyasri @bella-wolf100 @shortnsweetsposts @roseapov @d3sperate-enuf @d3kstar @sheep-from-rad

[moralesluvr]

GANG BABY | billie eilish.

“she told you she celibate, but she told me i can nail her shit.” ft. subtop!billie (blake i love you!)

the bass of a rap song thrums through the club so loud that it rings in your chest, replacing your own heart beat as your eyes fixate on the neon lights that strobe each and every way, illuminating your face and bright silver jewelry as you strutted over to the bar by yourself. you broke off from one of your friends and told her where you were going before you perched over the counter.

“can i get a whiskey sour?”

the bartender adheres to your request with a nod, and you gladly take your drink and take a seat on one of the stools, indulging in some quiet people watching. sure, the club was fun— but all your friends were wasted and off with their significant others, and this was your chance to wind down a little bit and try to enjoy a few moments of peace.

well, emphasis on trying. you have your moment of peace for about five seconds before some guy comes up to your seat at the bar, tapping you on the shoulder lightly and peering down to where his face is next to yours. he’s obviously drunk— and smells of liquor mixed with his disgustingly strong cologne. his grin is sleazy as he wiggles his eyebrows at you, “can i buy you a drink, pretty lady?”

“no, sorry, i don’t drink.” you reply cockily, taking a sip from your whiskey just to prove a point that you want him to leave you alone.

he doesn’t back off, though. they never do.

he leans a little closer to you now, “oh, come on. just a drink is all— i promise i don’t bite, unless you’re into it.”

“i’m not.” you reply harshly, your former smile fading away. you were trying to be nice to him although he was making your skin crawl, but you could tell he wasn’t the type to back down at all.

“you don’t have to be shy.” he speaks, dropping his voice like he thinks it’s sexy. and it isn’t, and you can feel yourself literally gag as he keeps speaking, playing with the rim of his glass, “why are you being so difficult? just let me buy you a drink.”

you can’t really contain your anger much longer. you slam your cup onto the counter and give him fiery eyes, “i know you’re only wanting to buy me a drink so you can drug me or some shit, and get me to have sex with you. look, you’re cool or whatever— but i’m celibate anyways. so leave me the fuck alone.”

he’s seconds away from getting up to holler and scream at you as a rebuttal, before you hear a loud and clearly voice coming from close behind you,

“do you not have ears? get the fuck away from her.”

you turn your head to the side slowly to meet eyes with a pair of ocean blue ones, and your eyebrow raises slightly. it’s billie.

the only thing you knew about her was that she was pretty famous, and had been staring you down in the club ever since you and your girls walked in. you couldn’t say that you didn’t return her looks, though— she was beautiful, and her energy seemed so likable even though you had only shared smiles and quick glances.

she looks casual, resting her elbow on your shoulder as she broke eye contact to look at the weird guy, who now looked timid. she cocked her head to the side at him as a challenge, and his former ‘big and bad’ behavior seemed to subside as his eyes softened.

“who are you?” he asks timidly, and billie kissed her teeth as she gave him a disapproving glare.

“her girlfriend.”

the lie comes out so effortless, and billie’s voice is so even, like she believes what she just said. the guy’s whole face drops and you wished you could take out your phone and snap a picture, because it was priceless. he let out a soft gasp as you shrugged nonchalantly, adding to the lie, “yup. so fuck off, weirdo— i’m a lesbian.”

the guy doesn’t say anything, he just scoffs— looking between the two of you like he doesn’t believe what you just said. but then billie shifts closer to you, planting a soft kiss on your cheek, and that seems to make him uncomfortable— so he mutters something under his breath as he walks off, sinking back into the crowd.

you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, and billie lets go of your waist and backs up a bit.

“your girlfriend, huh?” you giggle, raising an eyebrow.

billie steps back, clearly a little shy as she shrugged, thought you could tell she was a little nervous by the way a pink hue dusted her cheeks, “i— well, just looked like you needed help.”

you chuckle, amused by her sudden shift from confident to awkward. she had seemed so bold the whole time you eyed her in the club, and her change in demeanor intrigued you. you flipped your hair to the side and smiled flirtatiously, “and what do you want in return?”

she hesitates, then grins, a flicker of her earlier cockiness returning, “maybe just a dance.”

“bold of you to ask,” you tease, but there’s no bite to your words. you wanna push her, figure her out, make her wonder what her next move is gonna be before she makes it. it’s clear that she’s never talked to someone that’s as bold as you are, because she seemed so much more ‘hard’ from across the club than she is right now.

“i can be bold,” billie murmurs, her voice quieter now, her eyes flickering to yours and then away, like she’s not sure how far she can push now. it’s confusing to you, but kind of entertaining, so you shrug and bite your lip,

“yeah? well prove it.”

her breath catches, but she doesn’t back down. instead, she holds out a hand, waiting for you to take it. and so you oblige.

you let her lead you to the dance floor, the crowd folding outwards around you as the music shifts to something slower, something heavier. the weeknd’s discography is on shuffle as billie’s hands find your waist again, pulling you closer, her touch firmer now but still cautious, her anxiety so very obvious.

“you’re nervous?” you say, but it comes out more like a statement than a question. you kiss your teeth in amusement, leaning in just enough for her to hear you over the music.

“oh, i’m not.” you think she’s lying at first until her ringed hands find the flesh of your ass, her fingers grazing over the exposed skin through your shorts, grasping at it lightly.

you let out a gasp that falls inaudible due to the loud music, but billie can see your jaw drop slightly as she gave you a smirk. her eyes were glossy and hungry for you as she tapped your waist, “something wrong?”

now you looked like a deer in headlights as you shook your head now, your skin hot with half surprise and half arousal as you smiled through your surprise. it was a contest now, almost— who could be more forward, who could push the other harder.

before you could second-guess yourself, you close the gap, your lips meeting hers in a kiss that’s soft but unrelenting. billie freezes for a split second before melting into it, her hands tightening on your waist as she kisses you back with more force than you expected.

her lips are warm, hesitant at first, out of respect. but then she deepens the kiss, a quiet, needy sound escaping her throat that sends a shiver coursing through your nerves, making your skin tingle.

the club's heat feels suffocating now, the bass of music pulsing through your chest as bodies hazily move around you in a blur, billie's hands still gripped onto your waist. she's what's grounding you as people move past left and right, mumbling drunken apologies and trying their best not to spill anything on you.

billie eyes that were once timid and sweet morph into something much sharper, her breaths coming in uneven little gasps, "come on, we're getting the fuck out of here. it's too crowded."

though her voice is airy and light per usual, her directions are commanding, not really leaving you room to disagree or offer a rebuttal.

before you can respond, her hand is sliding down to yours, her fingers intertwining with your own as she leads you through the crowd, and your heart is fucking racing. billie's usual easy confidence has flown out the window, replaced by something much more urgent and primal. it's like a flip switched, and fear laced with a little excitement tugged at your heart.

she looks back at you as the two of you throng through a sea of sweaty and dancing bodies, making sure that you're still following her. and of course you are— how could you not?

when you push the doors open to the club, the cool air outside hits your face quickly like a shock, but billie doesn't stop. her hand squeezes yours tightly as she leads you down the dimly lit street, her silence deafening to you as you follow her lead, almost skipping over your own heeled feet. the thrum of music that sounds from the club fades out slowly as she leads you to her car, opening your door.

she doesn't speak. she just grabs your jaw with a strong, ring-clad hand, giving you a sloppy kiss on your lips, smearing whatever was left of your lipstick before slamming the car door shut, opening her own.

billie cranks the engine and pulls out the parking lot, wheels screeching as she used the palm of her hand to reverse, and you swear that you really could've came right then and there.

she's leaned back a little bit, her loud music shaking the seat beneath you as she mouths some of the lyrics. you watch her movements deliberately— her free hand snapping to the beat, head bopping, lips in a pretty pout— you were practically losing your shit at how hot she was.

and this must've looked so bad on you. going home with some random popstar just because she saved you from some creep— but could anyone really blame you? she was beautiful.

billie almost looks like she could be mad at you from how tight her jaw is clenched, how her knuckles bleed white as the streetlights around you fleet out of your sight, pulling slowly into the driveway. you sneak a look at her and see that she's biting her lip, hard, and the way her jaw ticks and her chest heaves makes you nothing but more anxious.

"billie—" you start, but she cuts you off, her voice firm and strong.

"inside. now."

the command is simple, sending a jolt up and down your spine as you oblige, pushing open your door without a response, because your response was how pathetic your obedience was.

you're scared, if you're being honest. you're usually always in control, molding situations to fit to your liking— you never let anyone else just tell you what to do. but it seemed different now, like the situation was out of your hands. but you kind of liked it.

you waited patiently for billie to unlock the door, and when she does, she's immediately all over you. her hands find your waist, pulling your body against her own as her lips forcefully find yours. it's rough, almost desperate the way she kisses you, her teeth grazing your bottom lip seductively.

billie's hands roam to your sides as she pulls away from the kiss, her fiery eyes softening only a little, "you have...no idea what you do to me, and i don't even know your name."

she sounds almost frustrated by it. you whisper to her your name as graze your fingertips against her arms, "show me then, billie. show me what i do to you."

you expect her to say something cocky, but she just grabs a fistful of your shirt, pulling you closer to her as she forces your feet to walk a pattern that you don't know, all the way up the stairs and into her bedroom.

there's a shit ton of sound equipment scattered around, cool pictures and thrifted antiques decorating the walls and her dresser. she's got a long wall of vinyls hanging up in color order adjacent to the wall that holds some of her most cherished sneakers. you try to take it all in, but billie's a girl on a mission, scooping you up quickly as your legs wrap themselves around her waist.

when she sets you down on the edge of the bed, you start to open your mouth, but she's already a step ahead of you. billie kisses you like she's trying to make up for every millisecond she hasn't, soft lips molding onto yours as you find yourself underneath her, melting into her covers with her force that leaves you breathless.

"fuck, angel, you're so—“ she breaks off her sentence, her voice low and rough enough that you feel yourself grow wetter, billie's lips finding themselves on your jaw, nipping at the flesh sweetly, but enough to leave and mark. she makes a trail of hickeys from your jaw all the way to your neck, "— so perfect. i need you."

her words make your stomach flip, heat pooling in your pussy as billie's hands only start to further wander. they slide under your shirt easily, curiosity oozing out of the tips of her fingers as she plays with the lace of your bra.

"you've been driving me insane since i first fucking saw you." billie breathes out with honesty, her words disappearing into your neck as her teeth graze against a soft spot on your flesh, nibbling at it before soothing it with her tongue.

a soft gasp leaves you, your hands tangling underneath billie's shirt in a desperate attempt to keep her close. "yeah? well, what are you gonna do about it, hm?"

billie's head lifts, and her eyes lock into yours, dark and full of something unknown that makes your heart stop. all she needed was your bitchy little statement to get her worked up, her hands maneuvering skillfully against your body. she pills your shirt up in a swift motion, right over your head, her gaze dropping to take you in. her lips part, her breath hitching as her hands skim over your sides, her touch reverent now— like she's scared to touch you. to break you.

"you're so beautiful, such a pretty girl." she breathes, her voice so soft that it makes your chest ache.

her fingers find the clasp on your bra, her eyes flicking to yours for permission, which you give her with a nod. she unhooks it, catching the cups on her hands and tossing it to the side.

billie's slow with her actions, contrast from how hungrily she touched and kissed you earlier. her fingertips run across your thighs with passion, open mouth placing sloppy kisses on your abdomen like she's got all the time in the world. it's almost like a massage, the way she touches you— appreciating every single inch of your skin with tender love and care.

a kiss to your hip. "you're so pretty."

a kiss to your thigh. "just wanna make you feel good."

she yanks your skirt off. "need you so bad."

a kiss to your clothed clit is what makes billie stop talking. her fingers hook in the sides of your panties before pulling them down with a swift motion, making you gasp at the contact of cool air.

she can't stop herself. the way billie whimpers when her tongue slips into you, replaced by her wet fingers, it's all too much for her.

she rests her hand on your thigh as she squeezes it gently, "does this....feel good? am i doing a good job?"

you think it's cute the way she asks you, and you respond with a nod as her name breathily escapes your lips. her fingers are curling into you with a speed that seems inhumane, billie's thumb on your sensitive clit pushing your orgasm to be stronger and stronger. you can feel yourself unravel on her digits, a wave of pleasure so so close as your back arches off the covers, fingers digging into billie's soft comforter.

"bills— fuck!" you screech, and you can't even finish your sentence as you cum all over billie's fingers, coating them with your arousal as she kisses your clit, still fingering you slowly as you come down from your high.

you're still sensitive as ever when billie smiles against your sex, "was that good, love? you feel amazing, god— just squeezin' around me...so tight…”

you start to open your mouth and reply to billie's question, but you gasp as you feel her fingers brush harder and harder up against that sweet spot inside you, and you're seeing stars as you try to relax, but it's just too much.

"billie...n-no more..." you whine, your whole body tingling due to the sensitivity. but you watch as the dark-haired girl pouts,

"please...i just wanna make you feel good, i’m sorry— is that okay? can i?” billie almost pouts at you, and you can’t say no, especially because she’s looking up at you with such sweet and gentle eyes that are just hungry for you, wanting nothing but to pleasure you. so you oblige, letting her finger-fuck you gently yet powerfully enough to bring on your second orgasm.

billie feels you tighten up around her fingers, thrusting a little deeper into you as she coaxes that last drop of pleasure out of you, “cum for me baby, it’s okay…”

you feel your orgasm wash over you, making your skin hot as little moans and whines escape your lips. your eyes shut for a moment, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks as you sigh. you hear billie shift next to you, planting a kiss on your forehead as you heave, looking over at her. “again in a little?”

billie giggles, stroking your cheek with a free hand as she backs up, making a jokingly confused face,

“i thought you were celibate, huh?”

“nah,” you giggle, “you can always nail my shit.”

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[obihoebikenobi]

I wrote the fic.

you love who you love (there ain't no other way) <- read on ao3

Rating: T Word count: 4,631

When Logan woke up, Wade’s apartment was cold. Far colder than usual. 

For the first two months of Logan’s stay, it had been just shy of chilly, but it wasn’t unbearable. Logan had dealt with worse than seventy degrees in many of his past living situations. 

But sixty-one degrees? That was fucking cold.  

Wade left a sticky note on the thermostat, which was crudely written, but from what Logan could make out, the heat was broken and the Landlord hadn’t said when he was planning to fix it. 

Logan shivered in place, throw blanket pulled over his shoulders, flexing his fingers by his sides. 

The cold wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the fucking adamantium. 

It was heavy, infused into his bones and weighing him down. He could deal with that, with the extra weight; if anything, the weight made him stronger, forcing his muscles to carry more weight on a daily basis. 

But there were pitfalls, there always were. 

Since Logan could remember, cold days were always the worst. The adamantium made his joints stiff and immobile, made his bones ache, made his head heavy with pressure. It culminated in his healing factor working overtime, trying to compensate for the pain in his bones and joints. Then his muscles would hurt, and the spaces between his fingers would twinge with little spikes of pain when he bent his fingers. His thoughts would develop into a fog, sometimes his vision would tilt and spin. 

Logan’s healing factor could only do so much, could only support so many processes and discomforts and injuries all at once. 

The culmination was a shitty fucking day, and it hurt like a bitch.

And fuck, it had already started, a slight ache in his fingers when he bent them, the gentle throb of his lower back when he reached down to pull on a pair of sweatpants he left on the floor. 

He’d wandered out to the kitchen in his briefs in search of the thermostat to turn up the heat, which wasn’t fucking working, so he settled on bundling himself up instead, hoping to increase his body temperature and keep the ache away.

Stiffly shuffling back to the bedroom, Logan pulled on a pair of sweats and threw on a few layers of shirts. He doubled up on socks for good measure and tugged a blanket over his shoulders hoping it would trap in a bit of extra heat. 

He was on his way back to the kitchen when Wade stumbled inside, Mary Puppins in his arms, and another sticky note pressed against his chest. 

Logan felt a wave of fondness roll through his chest.

Wade wore a big sweatshirt and a pair of ratty jeans. It was his default outfit, but Wade wore it so well. Or maybe Logan just liked him a fucking lot. 

“Bad news, baby girl,” Wade chimed, huffing out an oof as he tripped into the wall pulling off his boot, “Stopped by to see Landlord Lucifer and–”

Logan snorted, crossing his arms over his chest, shivering as Wade shut the door and a plume of cold air washed across the bare skin of his neck. 

“Lucifer? He can’t be that fucking bad.”

Wade threw his shoes toward their storage bucket, missing by a mile, then shrugging and pressing a kiss to Logan’s forehead before shuffling toward the kitchen, “He’s not, that’s just his name apparently. The goddamn joke wrote itself.”

“Convenient,” Logan gritted out, shuffling behind Wade and heading toward the kitchen, if anything, hoping Wade would follow his typical afternoon practice of making a cup of tea; Logan was hoping to request his own cup this time. Even if tasted like shit, at least it would be fucking warm. 

“Anyway, Lucifer says he can’t fix the heat until Friday. Apparently he’s upstate visiting family and the heat guy won’t do the work until he pays in person. What a bitch, right?”

Fuck. One day of cold was fine, but three sounded unbearable. 

“The landlord or the heat guy?” Logan asked, forcing his shaking arms to still. 

“Either. Both. Every heat guy and landlord in the whole fucking world. They’re all pieces of shit.” 

Logan watched Wade scarf down a few pieces of taffy from their candy bowl (which had the shittiest collection of candy Logan had ever seen, including black licorice and sixlets) before heading to his electric kettle and filling the pot to the brim. 

Thank fucking god. 

“Can you make me a cup, bub?” Logan asked, voice barely a grumble. 

“I’m sorry?” Wade’s head snapped up from where he was messing with the settings on the kettle, “The man who claims that tea is a bunch of lettuce flavored water wants a cup?”

Logan narrowed his eyes, growling, but Wade just smiled right back at him, cocking his head questioningly.

“Damn the cold that bad, Peanut?” 

And fuck, it really fucking was that bad. His joints were starting to stiffen up, and frankly, the idea of sitting down sounded like hell because it was going to be painful to get back up once he was down. 

His usual first instinct was to lie, to say it had nothing to do with the cold. And Logan sure as shit would have lied to anyone else, but Wade wasn’t really anyone else. Not anymore. 

Wade liked to tease him, like to bicker and joke, but Wade also gave a fuck. 

Wade cared, so obviously that it hurt Logan’s head to think too hard about it. Most people only cared enough about his well-being to make sure he could still use the fucking claws. 

No one else would give a fuck if he was cold and achey. But Wade would. 

“It is for me,” Logan admitted, just as a shudder ran down his back. He held back a hiss, feeling a jolt of pain run down one of his hips.  

Wade flicked the kettle on and turned again, staring right at Logan with those wide eyes, a hint of concern buried inside of them. 

“I didn’t know that,” Wade said through a breath, then stepped right into Logan’s space, long arms curling around him, fingers latching together over the small of Logan’s back, “Let’s expand on that, Wolvie. Dive into those deep waters of emotional intimacy.”

Logan snorted into Wade’s neck, basking in the warmth of Wade’s skin against the freezing tip of his nose. 

“Adamantium isn’t a fan of the cold,” he muttered after a few moments of comfortable silence. Wade stroked a few fingers down Logan’s back, rubbed the thumb over his other hand over Logan’s shoulder blade in soothing circles, “Makes me feel like shit. Just achy, and fucking cold. And stiff.”

Wade shuffled in his arms, pulling back and notching a finger under Logan’s chin, “So you’re like me? You have bad days.” 

Honestly, Logan hadn’t thought about it like that. 

Wade had shitty ass days. It wasn’t all the time–though Wade had once mentioned he always felt kind of like shit–but some days were worse than others. Wade described it as a bad pain day once, saying he didn’t want to leave bed, wasn’t hungry, couldn’t fucking stand the thought of moving more than one inch away from his divot in the bed. Logan had happily brought a straw right up to Wade’s mouth while scrolling on Wade’s phone with his other hand just so the man didn’t have to move. 

And fuck, the cold kind of made Logan feel like that, like he he didn’t want to move or exist or function. 

“I guess.” 

Wade brushed his thumb over Logan’s beard, drawing over his jawline and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“Bodies are fucking assholes aren’t they?” Wade said grinning softly, in just that way that usually made Logan want to drag him over to the couch and kiss him fucking senseless. Too bad that wasn’t an option. 

“Yeah bodies are fucking assholes,” Logan muttered as Wade took his hand, steering him toward the couch. 

“So you’ll let me take care of your asshole-of-a-body instead of your literal asshole today? I could do both if you want–”

“Wade, jesus christ.” Logan cut him off just as Wade deposited him onto the couch.

Logan closed his eyes, feeling his joints creaking as he tried to rearrange his limbs. His legs felt like heavy posts, and he hissed on his first attempt trying to swing one of them up onto the coffee table. 

“Fuck.”  

On the second attempt, he lifted upward, bending his knee at the joint, and there was a spike of white-hot pain searing down his leg, radiating from his thigh to his calf. 

God fucking damnit it hurt. 

Logan ground his eyes shut, grit his teeth, tried to think about anything else while the waves of agony rolled away, replaced with a dull, intrusive ache. 

“Fuck, Peanut. That looks like it hurts like a fucking bitch.” 

A hand curled over his shoulder, an anchor, holding him in place. 

Logan didn’t open his eyes, just breathed through his teeth, warmth passing over his cheeks as the last of the adrenaline rolled out of his veins. 

“It does.” Logan answered through a swallow. 

There was a beat of silence, then footsteps, a whispered be right back. 

Minutes passed and Logan could hear Wade shuffling around somewhere across the apartment. There was a click of a door opening, a soft curse, a slam of the same door shutting again. 

“Alright hear me out, sweetheart. This thing is like magic, in the colloquial sense. Pure sorcery.”

Logan didn’t open his eyes.

“What is it?” 

“Trust me?”

Of course Logan trusted him. Of fucking course he trusted Wade. 

“Yeah.”

Logan didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the drape of another blanket over his shoulders, because a blanket was hardly sorcery. Hell, Logan had one wrapped around his shoulders for the past twenty minutes and it didn’t do shit about the cold. 

“A blanket?”

“A special blanket. You should be honored I’m letting you have a turn with it because I don’t even let Al use it. I keep it on the very top shelf of the closet so her little elderly arms can’t get to it.” 

Logan shook his head, moved his aching arms to pull the blanket a little tighter around his shoulders, “What’s special about it?”

“You’ll find out. Eventually.” Wade cackled, and with a woosh of air, he was gone, probably headed back into the kitchen for his tea. Logan hoped he remembered to make a second mug. 

In the meantime, Logan sat completely still, not wanting to aggravate his joints anymore than he already had. He drifted for a moment, evacuating every thought from his brain to try and find a moment of peace, but he was distracted by something.

Something warm. 

It built up slowly, following the lines of the blanket around his shoulders. It felt like fucking heaven. Sorcery even. It didn’t relieve the ache–not yet–but it brought sensation back into the tips of his freezing fingers, eased the tension out of his shoulders just enough to let his body relax into the soft cushions of the old sofa.

“Heated blanket,” Wade’s voice startled Logan, making him flinch, “It’s the only thing that got me through those first weeks of my cancer diagnosis. Sorcery, I say. Hella good shit.” 

Logan hummed, peaking his eyes open as Wade pressed a mug of tea into his hands. Hands that weren’t shaking anymore, hands that started to feel easier to bend around the joints. 

Wade smiled, something soft and a touch somber, maybe guilty. What did Wade have to feel guilty about? 

“S’nice. Warm.” Logan brought the mug to his lips, sipping at the tea. It was surprisingly pleasant, an herbal flavor with a hint of something fruity. Mostly, the warm liquid felt good rolling down his throat and into his stomach, warming him from the inside out. 

“Leaf water up to snuff?” Wade asked, curling closer, shoving himself into Logan’s side as close as he could manage without too much jostling, “If it’s not, there’s still a shitload of dead leaves in the park that I can use instead. Get more of that earthy flavor I know you crave.”

“It’s good, bub,” Logan offered, “Warm.”

“Blanket and leaf water, both warm. Checkmate. We were going for warm. Problem solving achieved.”

Logan chuckled, leaned his head into Wade’s shoulder, listened to the thrum of Wade’s voice as he talked himself into turning on the latest season of Love is Blind instead of The Bachelorette. 

 _

The heated blanket was good. Great. Fucking warm enough to take the edge of the edge off. 

But the ache was still there, persistent and throbbing. Worsening, despite it all. 

It made Logan’s head hurt, made his thoughts turn to an oatmeal-like sludge. 

He extracted himself from the couch–with Wade’s help, of course–three episodes into Love is Blind,searching out the bathroom to take a piss. 

It hurt to pick his feet up off the ground, legs uncooperative and stiff. It hurt to twist the door handle open and it hurt to bend and lift up the toilet seat. 

He stifled a groan with each movement, frustration building in his chest. 

The bathroom was cold as shit, made of tile and with an old window that didn’t seal no matter how hard you shut. Logan shivered as he relieved himself, considering finding a motel with heat just to spare himself a night of agony. But that would require him to leave the apartment and shuffle through the snow, which realistically would only make things worse. 

So cold fucking apartment it was. 

He finished his piss, shakily reaching for the lid and stumbling to the sink. There was a knock on the door while Logan leaned against the wall and waited for the water to heat up so he could wash his hands. 

“Loges?” 

Wade didn’t open the door, but Logan could feel him hovering.

“Come in.”

Wade wrenched the door open, a hint of concern on his face.

“Do you realize you’ve been in here for like thirty minutes? I thought you shat yourself to death.”

Logan felt his chest constrict a bit. It hadn’t been that long, had it? He pulled his head off of the wall where he’d leaned into it, turning to face himself in the mirror. A red spot was painted over the side of his pale forehead. Shit.  

He didn’t look good. 

He didn’t really feel good either. 

His thoughts were disjointed, vision a bit blurry. He was cold. Tired. 

“Sorry,” Logan stammered out, not sure what to say underneath Wade’s gaze. So he shivered–unintentionally, albeit–but it was apparently enough to send Wade’s vague concern spiraling into a thunder clap of genuine worry. 

“Don’t–hey,” Wade was cornering him into another hug, pulling Logan’s body close to his chest, “You don’t need to be sorry.”

Logan let himself droop in Wade’s hold, basking in the immediate warmth. It felt safe, it felt like home.

“How about a bath? I’ll make it hot as fuck, boil you like a school cafeteria chicken breast.”

Logan didn’t understand what the fuck than meant but the idea of a bath sounded good. It sounded warm and relieving and like it would be the best chance at melting away the persistent ache that was becoming more acute with each passing moment. 

He nodded into Wade’s neck.

“Alright. Okay. Good. Let’s–let’s get you sitting down.”

Logan wasn’t in the state of mind to protest, so he let Wade lower him onto the toilet seat, sucking in a harsh breath through his teeth when one of his knees popped, another shooting spike of pain spreading through him like a firework.

He closed his eyes while Wade set things up, listening to the sound of running water, waiting patiently as the first bit of hot steam drifted into the air. 

Hands pressed over his knees at some point. 

“Let’s get these off, baby.” 

Baby. Logan liked baby. Not that he’d told Wade that. 

“Logan?” 

Logan hummed, opening his eyes, surveying Wade’s face through blurred vision. 

“You with me?” 

Logan cleared his throat, “Yeah. Clothes?”

Wade nodded and helped Logan to his feet. 

Logan clung to the edge of the sink as deft hands worked his sweats and briefs down his legs, then moved to his chest, stripping him of his layers one by one until he was a shivering mess in just his socks. 

It was a compromising position, one Logan hadn’t imagined himself in for years. No one was meant to see him like that, vulnerable and open, barely able to hold himself up. But then there was Wade, crawling into Logan’s chest cavity and reaching for his heart. Goddamn persistent. 

And Logan’s guard was down. It was so fucking down that he didn’t care if Wade saw him like this, shivering and weak, everything the Wolverine wasn’t. 

“Left foot, pretty please.” 

Lifting his uncooperative ankle as much as he could manage, Logan obeyed, following suit with his right foot. 

“Bathtime, baby. Let me help you in.”

It was uncomfortable to step over the edge, even more so to lower himself into the water, but Wade held him with strong arms and didn’t let him slip. 

The water was hot, borderline scalding against Logan’s skin, but the effects were immediate. 

Tension leaked from his skin, the previously sharp ache in his bones dissolving into something akin to a muted, manageable pain. The hot steam rolling off the bath eased Logan’s headache, cleared his thoughts. 

“That helping, sweetheart?” 

Wade’s fingertips moved a damp piece of hair off of Logan’s forehead. He cracked his eyes open, finding Wade with a soaked t-shirt and something like fondness written all over his face. 

Logan nodded, reaching to take Wade’s fingers in his hand. 

“Doesn’t hurt as much.”

Wade eyed him curiously, like there was a question on his tongue but he was afraid to say it. He shook his head, pointed toward the caddy of soap on the wall of the shower instead, “Mind if I wash you? Promise I’ll only make it a little weird.” 

Logan chuckled softly, shaking his head, “We’re dating Wade, it’s not not weird even if you try to make it that way.”

“You underestimate my natural tendencies,” Wade muttered, rubbing a generous helping of body wash into Logan’s loofah and reaching into the water for his foot. 

It wasn’t weird, not even a little. Wade had washed him twice before, both times in the middle of the night when sweat and blood stuck to Logan’s skin after a nightmare. Wade was good at it, gentle with his hands, always chattering on about something but taking his time with every part of Logan’s skin. 

He worked up both of Logan’s legs, washed over his chest and stomach, shoulders and back, up to his neck. Logan nodded his approval when Wade looked up at him before dipping between his legs, washing Logan’s most intimate places with delicate, intimate touches. 

Wade was even better at washing hair, Logan found.

Logan let Wade pour water over his hair, basked in the soothing rotations of fingers digging into the pressure points of his scalp.

“You want to talk about it? The whole cold thing?” Wade asked as he rinsed the last of the shampoo out of Logan’s hair, then dropped his fingertips to rub over Logan’s knee instead. 

The question sat in the air for a moment, beckoning for an answer. 

“The cold it–” Logan paused, swallowing, “It doesn’t agree with the adamantium. And that fucks with my healing factor. Makes me sick, in a way.”

The fingers pressing over Logan’s knee never stopped their circular pattern of movement, Wade didn’t look away, didn’t make a sound.

“Have you ever had someone to take care of you?” 

Logan considered the question, searching for a memory that wasn’t there. 

Sure, he had relationships, boyfriends and girlfriends, close friendships, everything in between. But those relationships hadn’t been honest ones, plagued with lies and deception, often with motives other than love and happiness. Logan wasn’t the victim in all of them, no–he was closed off and bitter, unwilling to be vulnerable. 

Lack of vulnerability attracted lack of empathy. Shitty people attracted shitty people. 

“I never let anyone,” Logan admitted slowly, eyes trained on the slow drip of water from the faucet. 

Wade fingers fell from his knee, and Logan felt the twist of anxiety in his chest. 

“This is going to sound cheesy as fuck but it has to be said. The audience needs to hear it,” Wade said quietly as he took Logan’s cheeks in his hands, “I’m here for your best days, and your worst, shittiest, most disgusting days. Like, even when you have explosive diarrhea. Or when you stab me in the dick and won’t apologize. Or when you destroy what’s left of my incredibly fragile ego. Sticks and stones they say.”

Logan’s chest fluttered with something like relief. 

“Point is, you’re gonna let me take care of you. I’m not asking, I’m demanding. You do it for me all the fucking time even when you shouldn’t have to because I’m being a little bitch–”

“Wade,” Logan said, covering Wade’s hands with his own, “Shut the fuck up for one damn second. I…I’m here for you too. Don’t want you to be hurting. Ever.” 

Wade smiled, and it was genuine. Logan loved when he smiled like that, especially with the pink tint spread over his cheeks. 

“Fuck us, Peanut. That was sappy as shit. Quick, stab me in the neck to ruin it before it gets worse.” 

Logan didn’t stab him, instead, kissed him on the fucking lips, like he did every day even when they weren’t pledging their undying devotion to eachother in a too-small bathroom. 

They sat in relative silence for some time longer; at least, Logan sat in relative silence. 

The warmth of the bath was needed, but it brought on a fleeting relief. The ache in Logan’s bones hardly had enough time to completely dissipate, and was back as soon as the water cooled down to lukewarm.

Wade rambled on about some Reddit thread for a while, complained about some gossip page’s integrity, listed out his top choices for who he’d want to host the Oscars in the next ten years. 

Logan was happy to half-listen, let Wade’s voice distract him from the throb settling into the spaces between his knuckles. He didn’t complain even when the water turned cold, only tapped at Wade’s knee cap when he started to shiver and the brain fog was on its way back, the vague sensation of dizziness returning as soon as it had gone. 

“You want to go to the bedroom, sweetheart?” Wade asked as Logan held his hand with a deathgrip, hissing under his breath as he stepped out of the tub. 

The pain was back, like it never left to begin with. Hurtshurtshurts. 

“Please.”

Wade took control, zero hesitation as he wrapped a towel around Logan’s shoulders, leading him with gentle hands out of the bathroom and down the hall. And Logan let him, eyes half-closed, limbs loose and mind drifting. 

The bedroom was already warmer than the rest of the house, Wade’s small space heater bumping the temperature up a degree or two. Still, Logan shivered as Wade helped him sit on the bed. 

“S’cold,” Logan reminded him when the small comfort of the towel was taken away and a shiver coiled down his spine. Wade pressed it against his skin, rubbing away the droplets of water, working his way down Logan’s body. 

“Just gonna finish drying you off sweetheart, then clothes.”

Wade dried his hair best he could with the towel, and Logan sat still, let Wade take care of it, let himself be handled and moved and touched.  

Hands pulled a pair of sweats over his legs, then a sweatshirt over his head, then warm socks over his feet. It hurt when Wade moved him, when his bones scraped against each other and his joints protested, but Wade was all gentleness and skilled fingers. 

Somehow Logan made it underneath the covers and propped up against a stack of pillows, Wade’s fingertips pressing over his cheek, rubbing over his beard with a promise he’d be right back. 

And Wade was back before Logan could process he’d gone to begin with.

“Had to get the blanket of sorcery. Wouldn’t want Al to see it out and get any ideas.”

It hadn’t been unplugged from the outlet in the living room for long enough to lose its warmth and it felt like fucking heaven, yet again. 

Logan groaned in relief, letting Wade tuck it around him. 

“Yeah I know, good shit indeed,” Wade said, and Logan blinked his eyes open, hardly realizing he’d closed them again to begin with, “You should probably eat. Brought you some soup, courtesy of my very close friend Campbell. What a guy.”

Logan blinked a few more times, trying to wake himself up, trying to get past the wall of low-energy his healing factor put up to keep him still.

“Soup?” He asked, looking at the mug that Wade extended out to him.

“Tomato soup. Not burned,” Wade clarified, stirring the spoon through it, “Want me to feed you, baby cakes?” 

“Fuck no,” Logan growled and took the soup, eating it slowly with stiff, uncoordinated fingers.

Wade kept talking, back on his Oscar host picks, then moving onto something about Hank and the X-men and drugs that worked with healing factors or some shit, “You want like an imperial fuckload of morphine? I know a guy. Well, knew a guy, but I’m sure the replacement guy will love me just as much.”

And no, Logan didn’t fucking need a fuckload of morphine to get him through a bad day. Because that’s all it was, a bad fucking day because of his shitty fucking body. He wasn’t dying, he wasn’t in so much pain he couldn’t handle it, he wasn’t needed to save the world. 

It was a bad day, but Wade was there to make it better. 

Wade with his endless stream of modern pop culture conversation points that Logan didn’t understand but loved to fucking death anyway. Wade with his gentle touch and little radiant smiles. 

Wade with a heart of fucking gold and enough love to make Logan’s chest hurt because fuck Logan loved motherfucking Wade Wilson back so fucking hard. 

“Wade, c’mere,” Logan mumbled, empty mug placed on the side table, warmth starting to work its way through his blood.

Wade did just as much, wrapping himself over Logan’s chest, breathing right into his neck, fingertips tracing over the tiny sliver of exposed skin between the waistband of Logan’s pants and the hem of his sweatshirt. 

“Logan?” Wade asked, voice muffled in Logan’s skin.

“Yeah, bub?” 

“You feeling any better?” Wade pulled his head out of Logan’s neck, looked him right in the eye. 

“Yeah, bub. Warming up a bit, joints are loosening up.” 

Wade looked satisfied with the answer, but slid off of Logan’s chest.

“Good. I’m going to spoon you now and try not to get bricked up. No promises, but just know, I am striving for purity with the expectation of flawed horniness. Blame my cock and not me; we are separate entities.”

And it was such a Wade thing to say, crude and completely unnecessary but somehow Logan still smiled to himself about it, chest constricting with layered, unadulterated fondness. 

“Love you, Wade,” he whispered.

“Fuck! That shit coming from you hits harder than a shitload of cocaine on a Tuesday. Love you fucking too, Peanut.”

There have been few people to earn the trust of Logan over two-hundred years, but when Logan's comfortable with someone, he lets his guard down. Like, all the way fucking down.

The adamantium makes Logan cold and stiff in the winter, and usually he'd just grit his teeth and take it, but then there's Wade.

Wade, running Logan a hot bath, setting up some music, lighting a candle, sitting on a stool and keeping him company.

Wade, towelling Logan off while his eyes droop shut and the chilly air reminds him of the ache in his bones.

Wade, steering him back to the bedroom, sitting Logan on the bed, allowing him to be loose-limbed and half-asleep.

Logan lets him pull a pair of baggy sweatpants up his legs, a cozy sweatshirt over his head. Wade towels of his hair, and presses a kiss to Logan's forehead. He pulls back the covers and helps Logan slip underneath them when his stiff body resists. For a second Wade leaves Logan's side, but he returns with a microwaved mug of soup and a heated blanket.

Wade lets him eat, crawling in the bed, ready to hold Logan close as soon as the soup is gone.

And Logan fucking lets him. No--Logan fucking wants this. It isn't something he allows, it's something he desires. Only from Wade.

He wants gentle hands, and stupid fucking jokes about pop culture that he doesn't understand, and the soft comfort of Wade's scent on the sheets.

Logan shamelessly wants to be held in Wade's arms, pulled close and held even closer.

[burreauxwrites]

OVERLOAD - (joe burrow x reader)

description: you went out with joe to hangout with his friends, but you get a bit overwhelmed (blurb).

word count: 1.1k … or 1.2k, idk.

warnings: fluff, joe x reader, reader experiences sensory overload, reader could be neurodivergent though it’s not explicitly confirmed, sharing a shower.

you had no idea why you even agreed to this.

joe wanted to hang out with some friends, and you felt bad about not tagging along. you almost didn’t, but you didn’t want to be a party pooper and leave him hanging.

as soon as you step into the restaurant, it was almost instantaneous sensory overload. the lights were bright, almost blinding; on top of that, your dress was itchy and digging into your skin in the worst way possible. the most awful part of all? there was a lot of noise. a lot. some people had families with children who were being…well, children. others were having obnoxious, drunken conversations.

you wanted nothing more than to go home. but alas, you stood along with joe, simply smiling and nodding as he talked with his friends.

but joe knew you all too well.

he could tell you were feeling a little agitated and overwhelmed. you fidgeted with your dress and small pieces of jewelry. you slowly but surely began scooting closer to him, and you almost appeared zoned out, like you were trying to ignore the ten million things occurring at once.

he leaned down, whispering to you, “are you okay, baby?” he asked, his voice soft and attentive.

you were tempted to lie; just nod and grin. but you didn’t. instead, you gave a small shrug, your hands shaking ever so slightly. “i-i don’t know,” you murmured, your voice soft and shaky, “just…overwhelmed.”

before you knew it, joe stood up straight, nodding and resting his hand onto your waist gently. he speaks to his friends, telling them that the both of you will be heading out a bit early. it was a sweet gesture, really. after all, most people in your life would tell you to suck it up and deal with it.

as you two got in the car, you sat quietly, tears in your eyes. you felt embarrassed, awful. you essentially ruined what was supposed to be a good moment with joe and his friends.

“i’m sorry…” you apologized, your voice meek.

joe shook his head, gently resting his hand on your thigh. “no, baby,” he assured you, looking at you fondly, “you’re fine. don’t ever apologize for feeling overwhelmed.”

you nodded, letting him gently wipe away your tears. before he pulled off to head back home, he plugged in his phone, letting you play whatever music you want.

he listened to more hiphop than anything, but in this moment, he wanted you to feel comfortable and happy. if that meant you listening to your favorite genre of music, then so be it. as you hummed to your favorite songs, his hand provided comforting strokes to your thigh.

as soon as you guys made it home, you sat down, preparing to remove your heels; however, joe stopped you.

“nuh-uh, babe. let me,” he said, his hands moving to the straps and buckles, working to undo them.

your gaze softened, watching him. “joey, hun…” you chuckled, watching him kneel down to take off your heels, “i can do this myself, yknow? i’m not a princess.”

“well,” joe chimed in, taking off one of your heels, “you’re a princess to me. and you deserve the best princess treatment.”

with little problems, joe slipped off your other heel, helping you up. he ushers you to the bathroom, patting your head. “feel free to use your body wash and stuff.”

“joe, babe, i don’t think you want to smell like cherry blossoms-”

“y/n.” joe interrupted your rambling, folding his arms.

with a small smile, you throw your hands up, turning to take a shower. joe steps in behind you, gently adjusting the water for the both of you.

his hands were gentle and comforting as he rubbed the soap into your skin, massaging in small circles. he made sure to not to move too abruptly or harshly. the same applied for when he washed your hair, except his touch was actually more light than usual.

after your guys’ shared shower, he carefully dried the both of you off and gave you one of his shirts to wear. once the both of you were comfortable and dry, you lay down.

“you wanna watch tv?” joe questioned, preparing to reach for the remote.

instead, you shook your head, opting for some cuddles in silence instead. and that was okay with him too. besides, he thought it would be something you needed after tonight. his hand sweetly ran through your locks in a soothing motion as he stared at you fondly. you looked peaceful, enjoying his warmth and presence.

he leaned in and kissed your forehead, his voice tender. “you still feel bad, don’t you…?”

you sighed. that was true. you know it’s not your fault; whenever you experience sensory overload, it’s a lot for you to handle. and you truly wanted to have a good time. you wanted joe to have a good time.

“yeah…” you nodded, your voice trailing off in guilt. “it’s just…a big burden at times. been overwhelmed over the smallest changes or things.”

“it’s not a burden, baby,” joe assured you, his hand resting on your cheek as his thumb felt your smooth skin, “your comfort and safety mean the world to me. if you aren’t comfortable, then i’m not comfortable.”

“you don’t think it’s weird that i have to blast music twenty four seven?”

“no. if that’s what helps you tune everything else in the world out, then that’s cool.” joe shrugged, smiling at you.

“hm. what about when i constantly fidget or make sounds?”

joe gave you another laugh, shaking his head. “princess, i don’t care about the little things that you do,” he affirmed, pressing a kiss onto your temple, “you don’t need to mask or hide your little quirks. it’s fine.”

“…you mean you won’t think of me any differently?” you asked, looking up at him as he spoke.

joe shook his head once more. “babe. i ramble to you about my little niche interests all the time. and you don’t think of me differently, do you?”

“i mean. i think it makes you a bit of a nerd…” you admitted sheepishly.

“wow…”

“in a good way! not like that!” you clarified, giggling and slapping his shoulder as he shook his head. he also laughed, clearly not taking your words to heart.

after a moment of silence, joe spoke, his tone serious yet warm and comforting. “seriously though,” he said, “i love you for you. every single thing about you is worth cherishing,” he murmured, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, “and so help me god, if you think otherwise, i’ll write a list about all the things that i love about you.”

with a laugh, you nestle your head against joe’s shoulder. “fine, fine!” you surrendered, looking up at him.

“good. and if you ever feel overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to let me know.”

“okay…thank you, joey.” you hummed, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly. “i love you.”

“and i love you too. more than anything.”

as someone who is neurodivergent (audhd) and loves joe, this was very comforting to write 🥺