#what if you murdered your alternate timeline self in an incredibly fucked up way and then did something even worse as disposal of the body.

[dino--draws]

Give it up for 'its nearly 4 AM and i just remembered i drew this but then forgot to post it because im not used to being back into the swing of tumblr art posting'

Drew this secondary para!Place design [the first one i did is like. during 5956. this one is like admoline n yadda yadda] based off the fuuuckinn uhhh Wrong Tomorrow design or something thats apparently this guy. hes kinda slaying ngl. i dont think this is lab safe attire though

this is the look of a man who is fucking Pretending to hold it together. at least he cleaned up mmmost of the blood

[oh-atlas]

9, 24, and 40 for Miss Ophelia herself <3

What is their favorite scent?

freshly washed laundry / the pleasant, fresh, and mild smell of soap. it's comforting and it's painfully normal. it makes her think of simpler times and an easier life.

What’s a controversial food opinion they would have?

so I saw this question and i immediately and it technically isn't a controversial food opinion so much as controversial food habits. first of all, she's a terrible vampire. she's miserable when she has to consume blood and routinely goes long stretches without doing it so she is suffering from an iron deficiency to say the least. secondly, even though she can technically eat regular food it kind of tastes like nothing so she's taken to just consuming the absolute extreme of flavors. she loves spicy, sour, and bitter foods (and has a fondness for extreme sweets occasionally) though before she was a vampire she was not as adventurous of an eater.

Describe a corruption/redemption arc version of your character.

its quaxorascal with a steel chair!!!

this is going to get long and i don't feel like i can separate all my thoughts into just corruption arc vs redemption arc so uhhh buckle in and lets hope this is comprehensible-- i'm separating this into canon and noncanon as in the actual direction i want to fulfill with ophelia's arc versus alternate timelines or juicy ideas that can live rent free in my brain

corruption in canon: i am obsessed with the parallels and similarities between strahd and ophelia and also the entire dynamic of a "you took everything from me / i don't even remember who you are" turning into self destructive mutual obsession upon realizing oh. ophelia's actually a problem. and the layers of attraction and recognizing themselves in each other. the concept of hating what you see in the mirror being part of their hatred of each other. the whole idea of "you're the only person i'd let beat me but i'll drag you down with me" strahd brings out the worst in ophelia. the self-loathing and the anger and while vengeance is ophelia's entire motive as a character it's also part of her undoing. vengeance is going to leave her hollow if she never grows and learns to love herself and make meaningful connections again. i think the way strahd corrupts canon!ophelia is by being the temptation to never grow and to writhe in her old habits, to be miserable and to make strahd miserable and to ultimately kill them both.

redemption in canon / best case scenario: best case scenario is ophelia getting over thinking she's a monstrous person unworthy of love <3 through the power of friendship, having to face her past head on, and having a shot at love and hope in her life. this is what we're AIMING for, ophelia's multiclassing into paladin is going to be the ultimate tangible result of this and I'm really looking forward to this antisocial vampire having to learn how to have Relationships Again after 50 years when she was REALLY BAD AT IT even before she was a vampire

self-destructive corruption romance: straphelia flirting in canon is maybe going to happen? who knows i feel like my dm is going to repeatedly brain me over the head no matter what they do with all of the ophelia lore and vibes but is definitely. onesided. HOWEVER, there is a world that lives rentfree in my head where ophelia and strahd get together solely because they're both miserable lonely people who cannot get over past loves and they've got sexual tension and actual tension based around the fact that strahd murdered ophelia's almost lover and turned her into a vampire. incredible sexual tension while trying to kill each other, hate-fucking, and ultimately ending up making each other so miserable that they die together IS the vibe

strapheluce 👁 👄👁: ^^^ so much of the above but the extra wrench of luce doesn't die / is reincarnated and strahd probably keeps that a secret from ophelia until ophelia finds out lots of vibes of luce is really too sweet for this and trying to convince both of them that they can grow and change but ultimately the conflict and resentment for each other is something that breaks the relationship. queue strahd trying to take it out on luce and ophelia martyring herself to ensure that at least one of them makes it out alive. also obviously this vibes:

ophelia holding the sword, luce in the middle, strahd getting stabbed of course <3

[imaginedisish]

Happy Together (Five Hargreeves x Reader) (The Umbrella Academy)

A/N: OOOOHHH MY GOOODNESS HELLO EVERYONE!!! So before y’all read...lemme say that Five is not 13/14/15 in this imagine!!!! He is a normal 20 something year old human...and so is the reader!!! This is kinda like an alternative universe sorta thing...idk...it was a request. (also my 17 year old self has a huge crush on Aidan Gallagher now uwu...he’s turning 16 this year...and we’re like a year apart so ITS OKAY YALL CHILLLLLLLL) I love The Umbrella Academy...and more imagines will be coming. ALSO THANK YOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS AHHHHH!!!! Okay...now enjoy :)

Summary: After altering the timeline to save your life, Number Five gets in some trouble with The Commission...which prompts a not-so-welcomed visit from The Handler.

Warnings: LANGUAGE, angst, blood, fighting, implied violence/murder, FLUFFFFFFFFF 

Word Count: 2,413 holy shit i went IN LADIES AND GENTS

Rays of sun reach their fingertips through the ancient curtains above you. The dust particles that had accumulated upon the books surrounding you glow as each individual spec basks in the light. To your right, sitting properly next to you on the plush couch, was a well-read copy of The Great Gatsby, your favorite novel. 

You look down at the coffee that rested between your hands, the steam radiating off of it slowly dissipating, cueing you to finally take a sip of the bitter liquid. Grace hums a tune as she passes through the dark library, duster in hand. 

“Grace,” You call out, and Grace immediately stops to face you, “Do you know where Five is?” Just as Grace opens her mouth to answer your question, a loud clanging sound erupts from above you. 

“Goddamn it!” A familiar voice shouts, followed by the violent thumping of footsteps down the stairs. 

The footsteps continue, the sound of the dress shoes against the cold tile echoes throughout the academy, until finally Five appears in front of you. He looks disheveled, exhausted, and incredibly angry. You hadn’t seen him like this since you saved the world together. He looked so distraught, something was clearly wrong. 

Five begins to pace back and forth, his hands traveling to rub his eyes every now and then. You want to say something, but you know he’s far too lost in thought to answer. Finally, Five stops, and walks towards the bar at the end of the library. 

You hear Five rummaging through the bottles of liquor. You turn around to see an expensive bottle of whiskey in his right hand. With his left, he grabs a short, crystal glass, and he begins to pour away.  

“F-five, is everything okay?” You ask quietly. Five stops his pouring, and slams the bottle of whiskey on the counter. 

He looks up at you, a vulnerable haze of fear presents itself across Five’s face before once again masking itself in an angry and distant gaze. “Everything is just golden,” Five remarks sarcastically, taking a generous swig of alcohol from his glass. 

You decide to ignore his tone as to not start a fight with him, and instead stand up from the couch and walk over to him. You pull out a stool, and sit down. Five remains where he is, on the other side. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to make it come out of you?” You ask, jokingly. That was your power, you had the ability to make people tell the truth. You could also read minds and freeze time, which made you a perfect foil to Five, who could move through it. 

“It’s The Commission…” Five trails off, taking another sip of his whiskey. “They know what we did.” Your jaw drops. How the hell did they find out so quickly? You think to yourself. 

A month ago, you and Five had altered the timeline. To be more specific, Five had altered the timeline in order to save your life. While searching for Five, who had saved the world from the apocalypse once and for all, the Commission came across you. They knew that you were important to Five, and decided to kidnap and torture you. 

When Five had found you, it was far too late. But, that was a thing of a past. It was a memory that you were never able to experience, since Five took it upon himself to change the timeline and save your life. 

You two had grown close since Five had met you, since he had helped you learn to use your powers. But, you didn’t realize how much you meant to him. He risked so much by altering the timeline, and that was becoming increasingly evident. 

“Look, things can’t be that bad,” You say reassuringly. “There has to be some sort of way to fix th-,” 

Five cuts you off. “No, things aren’t bad, they’re terrible. They’re going to kill me,” Five’s voice is firm and filled with anger. “Or worse…” His voice is soft as he trails off, his eyes drifting down to the glass of whiskey on the counter. 

“Or worse, what?” You ask as you search Five’s dark brown eyes for some sort of an answer. 

But he gives you none, shaking his head in contempt, refusing to say a thing. He picks his drink up, and begins to walk towards the other side of the room. Just as you think he’s about to stop, the pacing begins again. You roll your eyes. 

“Five, stop, let’s talk about-,”

Five cuts you off a second time. “There’s nothing to talk about, (Y/N)!” Five shouts, his eyes widening. “Things are going to absolute shit!” He knocks back a final, generous swig of whiskey before violently slamming the empty glass on the end table to his left. Five darts back towards you. “We lost! Don’t you get it? They’ve won! They’re going to find me, or you, a-and, a-and…”

You shake your head. “You’re being ridiculous, Five,” You pause for a second, collecting your thoughts before continuing. “You just need to calm down, we haven’t lost just yet, we haven’t even started fighting.” 

“And there’s no point in fighting back to begin with. They know you’re here, they know everything, (Y/N),” Five says, swallowing harshly as he closes his eyes tightly. “And don’t tell me to calm down.” 

You scoff. “I’m just trying to help. We can fix this-,”

“Stop! No we can’t! I’m going to lose you. Don’t you understand that?” Five yells, his voice booming throughout the library. Silence looms over the room. You don’t know what to say. “I can’t lose you…not again. I just can’t,” Five finally croaks. 

Your heart flutters in your chest at his words. “Five you aren’t going to lose me,” You say, your voice is soft and sweet as a smile stretches across your face. 

“On the contrary, darling, I think he just might!” A sarcastic, shrill voice rings from the opposite end of the room. You look to where the voice came from. A tall, gray haired woman stands near the fireplace, holding a gun in her hand. “Hello, Number Five. Long time no see.” Her smile is wide, almost reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat. 

“I swear to god if you touch her,” Five points a finger in the woman’s direction, “I won’t hesitate to take you down, for real. In fact I thought Hazel already did that for me,” Five taunts.  

The woman cackles loudly. “Oh Five!” She slaps her knee. “God you crack me up! You know silly stuff like bullets, or grenades,” She raises an eyebrow, “can’t kill me. But it can kill you, or her.” The woman nods her head towards you, aiming her gun at your chest. 

A shot rings out, and a flash of light appears in front of you as Five pops in front of the woman, pulling his arm back to punch her in the face. But, before anything happens, you close your eyes tightly, clutching both hands into fists. Suddenly, time freezes. You walk forward towards Five. The bullet is inches away from his chest, suspended in thin air. You push it to the right, making sure that when time starts up again, it won’t even have the chance to hit him. 

The woman scoffs, surprised at your abilities. “Who the hell are you?” She asks, staring you down. 

“(Y/N), Number 8, also known as Eon, and you’re about to be so fucked,” You stare deeply into her eyes as you begin to search the woman’s mind. Her alias is The Handler, she’s killed thousands of people, and she isn’t one bit scared of you in this moment. 

Well, that’s about to change completely, You think to yourself. You tighten your hold on her mind, and you watch as the Handler winces in pain. 

Part of your mind reading ability was to allow the person you were reading to relive the memories you came across as you searched his or her mind. In this case, you went for the traumatic experiences; for instance, murders, attacks, and other crimes The Handler committed, watched, or experienced. You had found through previous ventures that making someone relive the past was overwhelming and draining, to the point of death.  

God I hope this works, You think to yourself, taking a deep breath as you swallow harshly. You had one shot, one chance to make this work. You begin to search through her mind, picking out memories that seemed horrendous, even to you.

“Wh-what the hell are you d-doing?” She stutters, her fingertips reaching up to either side of her head. You force her to see each and every person she’s ever killed, which slowly but surely begins to have an impact on her. “S-stop,” The Handler pleads. “I-It h-hurts.” 

But regardless of her pleas, you don’t let go. The gun in The Handler’s hand falls to the ground as she begins to tremble. You don’t know how much longer you can stay where you are. Your grasp on time begins to weaken, and things slowly start to move again. You’re losing energy. 

“F-fuck,” You whimper, trying your best to stay strong. You search deeper into The Handler’s mind, seeing even more murders, more traumatic experiences, forcing her to relive each and every one. 

The Handler screams out in pain. “Shit!” She screeches, collapsing down to the ground. She wheezes, and coughs roughly. Her breathing weakens, just as you thought it would. 

“How does it feel?” You manage to shout, regardless of the fact that it feels as though every ounce of energy has been drained from your body. You continue on nonetheless. 

“I-I c-can’t b-breathe,” The Handler chokes, grabbing her throat. “S-stop…” Her eyes flutter shut. “I-I’ll l-let y-you l-live…” She struggles to speak as her eyes open up again.

“Bullshit,” You say firmly, walking closer to her. “Any last words?” You question, going deeper into The Handler’s mind one final time. Her body seems to tense up, and she writhes in pain one last time. 

“I-I’ll b-be b-back, k-kid…t-trust m-me….I always e-end up c-coming b-back…” She trails off, her eyes shutting tightly. Then, the writhing stops. The tension in The Handler’s body seemingly disappears. Her body goes completely limp. You did it. It was all over. She was gone. 

You let go of your hold on The Handler, since there was no longer anything to see or do in her mind. It was blank, a black hole if you will. You let go of time, and things begin to move yet again. You collapse to your knees, absolutely exhausted. 

“(Y/N)?” Five calls out, and you hear the bullet you had directed away from Five hit into the wall. “What the hell happened?” Five chuckles a bit. You feel his hand rub up and down against your back. 

“I-I took care of things…” You say, breathing heavily. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore, or at least I don’t think you will.” You look up at Five, a confused expression spread across his face.

“How did you…” Five doesn’t know what to say as his eyes frantically search yours for some sort of an answer. 

“I made her relive every shitty thing she ever did, or experienced. It wasn’t a silly thing, that did the bitch in,” You explain nonchalantly. “It was natural causes, in a sense. She did it herself.” 

Five smiles widely, his brown eyes catching rays of light. Just as quickly as his smile appeared, it slips away. “They could still come after us…” Five trails off nervously, standing up and walking towards the bar. 

You shake your head, gathering your strength and following behind him. “Don’t worry about that, okay? With The Handler gone, things will be easier. We can take down whoever stands in our way.” Your voice is calm and reassuring. 

Five stops in his tracks, his eyes studying your face thoroughly. “All I can do is worry. Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean I won’t lose you,” Five says, his voice firm, yet still laced with fear. “I care about you too much to lose you again. Last time, my heart…it…” Five can’t seem to finish his sentence as his voice becomes shaky. His eyes become glossy, and he turns around so you can’t see his face. 

“You can talk to me Five. Please, just tell me what happened,” You beg, walking closer to him, extending a hand out towards his, your fingers colliding with Five’s. 

He turns around to face you. “Fuck I hate feelings…” Five complains before continuing on. He takes a deep breath. “My heart felt like it stopped beating. I-I sobbed over y-you…” Five tightly closes his eyes shut, a single tear falling down is cheek. He wipes it away with his free hand. “I can’t go through that again. I won’t, I refuse to. I care far too much about you…I-I…” Five looks down at the ground and back up towards you. He steps closer to you, the gap between you and he closing. His eyes drift back and forth between your eyes and your lips. 

Suddenly, a pair of soft, warm lips come crashing down on yours. The kiss is slow and languid. You can’t help but smile against Five’s lips. This was something you had wanted for such a long time. 

You’re left wanting more as Five’s lips part from yours. He smiles widely as he steps back from you. You’re almost a bit shocked, as Five rarely ever shows affection to anyone. 

“I didn’t know how to say how I’ve been feeling,” Five explains. “You know I’m terrible at emotional shit, but (Y/N), you make things seems so natural. I’m happy when I’m with you.” 

A smile stretches across your face. “So let’s be happy together, then. You don’t have to hide things. We can be a team.” 

Five nods, grinning as he closes the gap between you two once more. “Happy…together…two words that I’d never thought I’d use to describe my life.” 

“Well I suppose you’ll just have to expand your vocabulary, then Five,” You say sarcastically, giggling lightly. 

“I suppose so, (Y/N).”

[villainever]

God, We're All Tired: Female Conflict in Killing Eve's Season One Finale

So I'm sure 1x08 has been analysed to death, but seeing as we're winding up to the end of Killing Eve's second season (sad face), I thought I'd jump in with a completely unsolicited reflection on the ultimate culmination of Villanelle and Eve's mutual obsession and pursuit. I'll kick off by saying that from the start, we knew this moment would be interesting, for a whole slew of reasons: Firstly, from the get-go, we were shown that Killing Eve was here to subvert and reconstruct; it's deeply oriented within its genre, but it's irreverent, and even what I would describe as a reclamation of spy-fi. Specifically, it's a female-led narrative taking ownership of a set of texts and tropes that have consistently objectified and excluded women by turns. From its inception, the psychological thriller genre has delighted in a) withholding women's agency, and killing/torturing/assaulting them, both to shock viewers and to lend pathos to the motivations of male characters, and b) revelling in their "expiration" from sexual desirability, and casting the "ailing crone" as the villain orchestrating events. Killing Eve has absolutely no interest in ever reducing its women to their component parts. There are no pedestals, and there are no pitchforks. As a show, it hits all the golden points of suspense television, and completely reimagines the rest; it's a masterpiece balacing act of keeping the classic cat-and-mouse recogniseable, while allowing Eve and Villanelle to each be both the predator and the prey.

Secondly, our two protagonists are women. Highly unusual and exceptional women -- that's inarguable -- but nevertheless, they've been socialised in particular ways. What's so fascinating here is that both have been injected with a comfort in and enjoyment of theatrical violence that's usually reserved for male villains. However, even at their most ruthless, there's an innate intimacy to both of them -- unlike, say, for example, the Joker, Villanelle's flamboyance and love affair with destruction never manifest as mass-killings or the eradication of infrastructure (like blowing up a hospital). Villanelle exacts each murder with the creativity of the truly engaged and passionate, but it's always personal and unique, usually one-on-one. She doesn't have a vendetta against the world, either; she finds beauty in it -- in ice-cream and movies and nice architecture or fun clothes. Similarly, Eve is enthralled by Villanelle's flair for the deadly and the dramatic, but it's not born out of a spite for humanity, but a sense of artistry and a consuming need for some adrenaline in her otherwise numb and mundane life. These complexities muddle their emotions and motivations, and make it difficult for even the most television-literate to semi-accurately predict their storylines.

Thirdly, Eve and Villanelle are never positioned as diametrically opposed. This in itself is not exactly out of the left field -- a lot of media with a dark focal point or mature subjects introduce heroes and villains who share key traits (e.g. Sherlock and Irene, in CBS's Elementary), or even comparable goals (e.g. Black Panther's Killmonger and Nadia both want to open Wakanda's borders). In most cases, though, the antagonist will represent some kind of seduction to the 'other side', that the protagonist inevitably resists the allure of (e.g. Andy realising Miranda isn't who she wants to grow up to be -- successful but alienated -- and goes back to her excuse of a boyfriend in TDWP). But while Eve and Villanelle are very much established as one another's temptations, we also see that they'll grant the other access to a part of the world that is, for now, barred from them: Villanelle and Eve will stop each other from being bored. They "resist the allure" not because they fear moral wrongdoing, but because they cling to their respective images of themselves -- Eve, as someone "nice and normal", who happens to have a grey area for a hobby, and Villanelle, as someone independent, in control, with no lines she wouldn't cross. Way back in the pilot, we're shown that they don't actually WANT to destroy each other. Villanelle is too interesting to Eve, Eve is too attractive to Villanelle. Yes, they pose a significant threat to their respective lifestyles, but as we've had proven, they're becoming willing to risk that if it means gaining something more. They don't reflect a sinister alternative timeline of "look what you could've been" (which is inherently hero-centric, and Killing Eve pays as much attention to Villanelle as Eve), they offer each other a "look what you could still be", that is at once dark and hopeful -- something that they've really elaborated on in this second season. But 1x08, even though it is very much the symbolic collision that is the centrepiece of all chase stories, is not their first meeting. Villanelle goes to Eve's house in the (iconic) 1x05. So why not save that for the finale? Why not build and build and have that tension released right at the end? Because, crucially, 1x05 generated more tension. The show's writing is so substantial that it doesn't worry about losing its audience after the moment they've been waiting for happens. It's one of the reasons you could have the entire plot of Killing Eve spoiled, and then still enjoy every episode when you watch it yourself: it's the How that we love as much as the What. Killing Eve takes the time and space to revel in its style, characters, and setting -- but that's another essay. In 1x05, their meeting is high-octane, and crucially, it's brief. We get a snapshot of how their infatuation and fixation translates into chemistry. And they both become real to one another. Eve's last reservations begin to fade as she realises that she can survive an encounter with Villanelle, and her sense of self -- most importantly, the subconscious idea that she's somehow special -- is vindicated (Eve's slight narcissism, and how the show makes it compelling and intoxicating, is yet another thing I could go on about). For Villanelle, Eve is allowed to be more than just great hair and a worthy threat. She's someone challenging and entertaining. What's so incredible about that first meeting is that it's proof that this dynamic isn't running on mystery and fumes. It's sustainable. They continue to appeal to one another once they're in the same room together. They appeal even more. Their sexual tension skyrockets, and the whole dance becomes extremely personal. They can't write one another off as playthings, although they largely continue to attempt that, at least for a short while. With this in mind, let's move on to that finale. Not only is Eve trashing Villanelle's apartment hilarious, and a perfect articulation of the humour/danger cantilever that makes Killing Eve awesome, but it provides a critical catharsis for the audience before the actual confrontation. By this point, the price for Eve's obsession is starting to rack up -- her job is circling the drain, Niko's dodging her calls, her self-image is blurring. Eve has a whole lot of feelings, but she's allowed to express them on her own, symbolically taking them out on Villanelle by ruining her things, which become a vehicle for venting her frustrations without actually affecting their relationship. When Villanelle does arrive, Eve's ready. This scene would've worked if it was some sexy wall-leaning, banter, and Eve surprise-stabbing Villanelle in the middle of a conversation. I think that's probably how a lot of screenwriters today would've done it, scrawling it off by rote and relying on Villaneve's chemistry and Comer and Oh's excellent acting to nail the bit. Instead, we get this civil conversation, and then they lie down together, first relaxing, and then gravitating towards one another. I don't believe that Eve knew until the millisecond she decided to do it that she would actually try and stab Villanelle. I actually gave this mini-essay a title, and it's "female conflict". That's because I think that this entire sequence wouldn't have happened in a show created by men, or featuring male characters. In violent shows, we get violent conflict. Killing Eve is unquestionably a violent show, but it's distinct from its contemporaries in that the characters aren't there to prop up the violence; the violence is there to reveal and develop the characters. But after a whole season of elaborate murder and tyre-squealing pursuit, we get this stillness. Yet, it doesn't feel for even a beat like bathos. It's absolutely a climax, and it's both suspenseful and arresting. It really illustrates that the show is about fascination: they're hungry to know everything, like Eve says. There's no performative combat. We can't guess what's going to happen because neither can they. Their obsession isn't a "this town ain’t big enough for the both of us" situation. It's a "this town is only the both of us". Their worlds are reduced to each other and they don't want to squander it with fighting, because fundamentally, Eve and Villanelle are so much more similar than they are different. Again, I say this is so fitting for female characters because they see this co-existence as an option. It's so simple, but the idea of your protagonist and antagonist sighing, "Fuck, can't we just have a lie down after all this?" and making it satisfying is incredibly radical. Because it's so personal, and intimate, and human. At every interval, the writing asks, What would we actually do at this moment? Not, What precedent has popular culture set for this moment? Too often, I think we give characters responses that we've seen before in texts, because we watched/read it, accepted it, and just filed it into our own work, knowing it's what the audience expects. But this scene with Eve and Villanelle is so heart-wrenchingly in-character. It's two people charging at each other full speed, not to hit each other but to be close to one another. And like so many other tiny beats over the course of the season, Killing Eve luxuriates in this proximity. We get to breathe. It's gentle. It's a gentle pause between two people who could utterly eradicate one another, but choose not to. It's ladden as well with such a specific but familiar kind of exhaustion, and it's an act of defiance, too. Killing Eve rejects the hegemonic (and predominantly masculine) cultural assertion that conflict (or even sometimes, in the less typical texts, debate and negotiation) is the way to resolve difference, and indeed, that difference must be resolved. That one must overpower the other. That your enemy is an alien and cannot be connected with, related to. The fact is, a lot of even this first season isn't spent chasing, it's spent running. Eve and Villanelle take an interest in each other early on, and it quickly escalates from intellectual to sexual to emotional (insofar as either of them are capable of that). By 1x05, they've caught up to each other. The rest of the time, though, they're fleeing from how much they want each other, how alike they might be. And in Villanelle's Paris apartment, they concede: I love you more than I hate you. I need you more than I should. And it's with that concession that we as an audience can experience their relaxation, too. It's what we've -- consciously or not -- been waiting for. That acknowledgement. But Margot, you say, you've been talking about how this isn't about violence -- have your forgotten that Eve STABS Villanelle, literally three seconds after this? I have not, The Only Follower Who Read This Far. So why engineer all this, and then have Eve knife Villanelle straight in the gut? Because even though they have this liminal second together, their story isn't resolved. Killing Eve goes absolutely wild with power dynamics, and I could discuss that for hours, too -- Eve is older, but Villanelle is more experienced; Eve is more stable, but Villanelle is more adaptable, etc. But generally speaking -- partially because Eve is, at the beginning, something of an audience surrogate -- the scales are in Villanelle's favour. She's dangerous, clever, has no fear of legal consequences, and has more freedom and greater resources. Killing Eve is allergic to any pedestrian predictability, so it shakes up this arrangement. In stabbing Villanelle, Eve proves to both of them what she's capable of. Prior to this, they had an impression of their similarities, but this throws into sharp relief exactly how deep those run. Eve immediately regrets the stabbing, because it wasn't about getting rid of Villanelle. She doesn't want to hurt her so much as show her that Eve has power too, has recklessness too, can keep up. This interaction isn't the product of an inability to relate, but a desperation to connect. This joins them together, affirms their relationship. Eve isn't trying to dominate her, to win, not really. She's telling Villanelle what she's capable of, and equating them. We get this confirmed in how Villanelle perceives in the stab wound as a symbol of affection (2x02, 2x05), and how Eve says she continues to think about it constantly (2x05). I believe that while Villanelle always respected Eve, if Eve hadn't stabbed her, Villanelle would've remained confident that she, quietly, had the upper hand. That if ever need be, she could be more cunning and cruel and decisive than Eve. But Eve's put them in the same ring, and also removed one major wall between them -- Villanelle's murderous side is a key part of her character, and after this, she knows that Eve isn't intruiged by her despite this, but because of it, and because it’s at least partially common ground. Eve isn't Anna (another comparison I could go off on a tangent about, but I'll spare you). In sum, I think that the season one finale was beautifully rendered, and reflected Killing Eve's appreciation of itself. It let the characters interact genuinely, it refreshed their dynamic, and allowed them development separately (Eve's new understanding of her own capacity for harm; Villanelle's new experience with vulnerability, and not being able to predict others) and together (intertwining them irrevocably, further aligning them). It's one of those rare scenes where it's completely surprising at the time of viewing, but in hindsight, seems inevitable, and you can't imagine it any different. I can't make any predictions for the season two final episode other than I expect something equally unexpected, something just as loyal to the characters and their relationship, and their capacity to embrace and antagonise each other. This essay is probably borderline incoherent. It really got away from me. I set a timer for half an hour and told myself that whatever I got written in that time, I'd post. Thanks so much for your kind comments on my rant yesterday, and I hope this is at least vaguely what you were looking for, @ the people who said they'd read another. You're my favs. If you've got something else Killing Eve-related you'd like me to yell about, let me know! Or if you want to come chat, I promise I'm friendly! I’m using the tag “#villainever writes” for this rambly stuff atm, so if I ever write another of these I’ll have a digital drawer to put it in hahah

[shadeandadidas]

Hey Jill! I was wondering if you could recommend some Queliot fic? I saw you offered someone a few days ago and, since you’ve made me fall in love with them too, I’d really appreciate some recommendations!! 💕

Hello! I’ve gotten a couple of requests and keep forgetting to do it. But no more~ step right up and let’s get some reading in.

Be Kind by longnationalnightmare

It was absurd how much Eliot meant it— you’re cute—so cute Eliot wanted to swallow him whole.

(cute, spicy AU from Eliot’s POV about corrupting sweet, first year Q. We know and love the drill. I just loved how well written it is. And i love corruptable Q.)

You’re A Story (I Can Follow) by Page160of180

“If you’d like to review the full terms and conditions of your deal, you can have as much time as you need to read--”

Eliot shook his head, still not quite used to the way his hair curled below his chin, now, since he hadn’t been around to keep it properly groomed for the last-- however long it had been. God, he hadn’t even bothered to ask.

“You get my deep, dark, never-told secret, and I get the opportunity to try and Orpheus-and-Eurydice Q the fuck out of this place,” he said, cutting through Penny’s bureaucratic power-trip. “I got it the first twelve times.”

“I would strongly advise--”

“I’m ready.”

The corners of Penny’s mouth went up, but it would have been a stretch to call the expression a smile. “No, you’re really not."

The Monster's been defeated, Quentin is dead, and Eliot has a quest of his own--if he can trust himself to complete it. An Orpheus and Eurydice remix.

(MY FAVORITE. It has such a strong mix of spot on Eliot characterization and mythology and the deep abiding connection between Q and El. This is just... perfection.)

bruise and leave behind by renaissance

To catch a monster, you need to think like a monster. If you don't have one handy, your shadeless self from an alternate timeline will do.

(incredibly realistic take on how they can defeat the Monster while bringing back some of our favorite villains of season’s past.)

As Sharks in Sheep’s Clothing by Giddygeek

Eliot goes out on a limb, and drags everyone he loves with him.

Or: somehow, kidfic.

(This one cracked me up. It’s another take on defeating the monster, but I love the childish, murderous quality to The Monster and this melds those two together in a way that makes it likable.)

Five Conversations Not With You by page160of180

“In a real dark night of the soul, it is always 3 o’clock in the morning.” F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1945.“In a real dark night of the soul, there is a monster with your face and eyes.” Quentin Coldwater, 2019.

The night before he must decide whether there is a price too high to save the one you love, Quentin has five conversations.

(And one?)

(And one.)

(Okay this one is a darker take on the current season’s quentin. It’s shamelessly realistic and has a perfect ambigious ending that matches the show’s tone perfectly. Love Love Love.)

Couldn’t Whisper When You Needed It Shouted by coloursflyaway

If necessary, Quentin will rip apart the universe with his bare, bloody hands to get Eliot back.

(This one is another very involved look on how they can get rid of the monster. The story content is banging, but ittook me a minute to get over the stories weird spacing on A03. Stick with it.)

Evolve Series by VeryImportantDemon

Quentin and Eliot spent a lifetime with each other with each other in Fillory and another lifetime together outside of it.

(Realistic take on what happened during their 50 years.)

[ryouverua]

Trial 5 - Pre-Execution

Investigation 1 / 2 - second half is where I put my own theories that I penned before playing the trial.

Trial: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8

HOW MANY TRIALS ARE GOING TO END WITH A CONFESSION ANYWAY

Hnngh - okay, this is actually happening now. We’re having a post-trial talk with Kaito before we send him off to the gallows. Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool cool -

marvels again that on the most basic detail I was right but as a whole I was very, incredibly wrong about what went down

This is going to be a weight for her to bear for a long time, huh.

He’s trying so hard to stay positive and cheer everyone up - how can you be so upbeat right now???

well I guess there’s the fact that he’s had plenty of time to come to terms with his own death since yesterday’s events but -

get this man an Oscar 

Kaito is low-key impressed just saying.

I’m sorry when the fuck between the extreme muscle spasms, seizures and general shut down of his body was he supposed to have written this? Was this something he started before all this happened? Was this a contingency plan? omg - was he thinking of Shuichi when he originally wrote the script and came up with a ‘in  case something happens to me’ trial plan, then filled in the details up until he died to match the exact circumstances of what actually happened? He did ask Shuichi to be his partner last chapter... how long has this particular plan been in his head for???

How hard was it to swallow his pride and ask Kaito for help instead of Shuichi?

going for those Beatrice vibes even beyond the grave, huh

PLEASE ELABORATE PLEASE -

DAMN IT -

okay I see what the game is trying to do here. And I appreciate it going and highlighting how clever Kokichi is for his foresight, his planning, and his general awareness and understanding of the people around him. That is coming through loud and clear.

But can we talk about Kaito’s ability to ad-lib on the fly, in character, and react to all the situations he was presented? Because Kokichi could not predict the exact future. He clearly planned things, not just in the general sense, but there is only so far a mere mortal could go.

“When Shuichi brings up these points, counter with those.”

“Flatter Himiko to throw her off. Here are some sample lines. Push it as far as you need to to make her flustered.”

“Play on Tsumugi’s ‘everyday boring girl’ syndrome.”

“Here are all the insults I’ve come up with to use at K1-b0 to distract him. Choose the ones that fit the moment, or use them to come up with your own if needed.”

“These are turns of phrases I use to project my incredibly important image.”

“Here’s a 20 paragraph speech I’ve prepped as a giant SCREW YOU to Monokuma, you can break it up as you need to but you have to make sure you get through all of it at some point because I want to rub this in his face and if I’m not there to do it you NEED to do it for me.”

I’d laugh if he had scripts and script notes denoting possible variations, but there’s just a bookmarked page partway through the script and it’s this long  anti-Monokuma manifesto

Anyway, I want to admire Kokichi’s planning, absolutely - but I also want to appreciate Kaito’s own skill along with it, because I don’t think they should take from each other at all. Even if he broke character a few times (which is even more hilarious in hindsight), he was utterly convincing in full acting mode!

:(

.... does K1-b0 power off his eyes when he wants to look incredibly depressed... sorry, utterly distracted for a moment...

(Himiko looks depressed too - I’m just trying to not literally upload every single frame of the scene already and it’s HARD.)

Fucking hell Kaito, with all of your self-aggrandising talk why is it now that you can’t understand why everyone is upset?!

Well... I mean, I do kind of get it. Trying to make everyone around you happy - in general, and with themselves - is practically your raison d'être. And right now, you’re the reason everyone is so upset. But still, it’s only because everyone cares about you so much!!!

Kaito put on a pedestal and pushed off of it - check. 

How?? Like, how did he phrase it??? Did he decorate it with his normal sureme leader talk? Did he lay out that Kaito basically owed him a debt now? Or did he leave it with just ‘Maki will be the blackened if you don’t do this’?? I have a feeling that whatever I get from the flashbacks, it still won’t be enough 8′D

In the last chapter? Or longer? ... It must have been longer, right? He was writing on that stone since at least chapter... 2? 3? and was talking to Monokuma in Chapter 4. 

LMAO WHAT A CASUAL WAY TO DROP THAT PARTICULAR KNOWLEDGE BOMB

“Oh shit really? Wow, go figure.”

i enjoy kaito’s mildly shocked face here

HOW MUCH GEAR DID YOU GET MIU TO MAKE FOR YOU??? Am I going to have to pore over all of your interactions after all??? You guys gave each other so much crap during the trials and outside of them??? You had that ridiculous black-and-white scene in front of the computer??? How close WERE you two before she lost herself to paranoia?!

I can’t help but think everything with Gonta was improvised based on how events were unfolding around him. Would he have still tried to do the same thing if Miu hadn’t been making an attempt on his life? Or did he know that at some point down the line he would have to orchestrate a murder to convince everyone that he was the mastermind? Was this something he had to steel himself to do, or was that always in the back of his mind as an option from the beginning?

I’m sure that last bit upset Kaito the most - he was Gonta’s most stalwart defender in the last trial.

I haven’t seen this sprite in a while, jeez. Or... have I seen this sprite before??? It’s definitely similar to the ones he showed in Gonta’s trial, but I don’t recall him being so, erm, sweaty then.

#calledthat

That has to rankle more than anything. He highlighted Maki’s talent repeatedly and continuously called her out about it, and then this. 

The fact that he’s framing it as ‘the true mastermind is at fault’ and not putting it all on Maki is interesting. I wonder if Kokichi just sees Maki as a weapon as opposed to a person? Accurately in this case, perhaps...

Frowning/serious Kokichi is so strange?!?! Not that there’s any reason for him to be smiling here, but it’s really telling that he can’t even bring himself to do it here. This is probably the closest we’ll get to seeing his true feelings and thought process, huh...

Whelp I just went back to this part after writing a whole blurb a few screenshots down and the ‘mastermind doesn’t remember they’re the mastermind’ theory I concocted for fun just died an unceremonious death. I did enjoy those brief few minutes of my oddball ‘Maki doesn’t remember she’s the mastermind’ theory while it lasted so I’ll leave it up for you guys to laugh at enjoy! Unfortunately Monokuma being in time-out debunks it unless there are two masterminds.

If we tie this to the funeral scene... I proposed the idea that the flashback lights give their brains scenes to work with - aka that they aren’t necessarily actually their memories, but perhaps someone else’s, for example - and that their brain works to interpret them and make sense of them, and generally fit them into their own world view. I think it’s becoming accepted now that memories themselves are somewhat pliable and can even change during each ‘recall’. So if they were given the flashback light that said, ‘hey, there’s a cult working to destroy you all and it’s led by the traitor in the group, X’, their brains would fill in ‘X’ with Kokichi based on the context at the time. It also gives room for the idea that I originally had, aka that the talents and perhaps even memories they all have aren’t necessarily their own - that they could have easily had their talents switched between them in the prologue, and the fact they landed like this was just a coincidence - and the one known as ‘Kokichi, Supreme Leader’ could have easily one of the other classmates in a different timeline. The mastermind would be able to have the ability to adapt to any scenario, if that was the case...

lmao yeah that was pretty obvious

So even Kokichi never figured it out in the end? That’s pretty significant - the kid is basically a living lie detector. That leaves four possibilities that I can think of:

1) The mastermind isn’t actually among us. I highly doubt that - we’ve been building to a reveal from the beginning, even as far as having Shuichi find the door in the library. 

2) The mastermind is among the dead - someone Kokichi never got a chance to ‘read’. The best candidates for that would be Rantaro and Kaede. Rantaro would be the almost too obvious choice, between his memory loss, the video where he tells himself ‘you wanted this’, and his general intelligence and knowledge of the proceedings - and, hell, his lab door. Alternatively, this would be a good way to bring Kaede back into the game - we did see a shot of her wearing that helmet too, and also it would be nice to see her again tbh 

I just... don’t think this is the case though. Not only because we’ve done that with Junko already, though that’s a bit one, but because everything was set for DR1′s twist from the beginning - 15 students and 16 stands, the ‘odd one out’ murder aka Mukuro, etc. Rantaro’s video is certainly hinting at something, but I’d be shocked if it was leading to his reveal as the mastermind.

DEBUNKED :( 3) The mastermind doesn’t have their memory. Now, we’ve already done this with SDR2 so I really, highly doubt this is the case but if it is this way the best choice would be for it at this point in the game to be Maki. I mean, Shuichi would have been viable too... if he wasn’t the protagonist, because then we’d really be retreading old territory. Anyway, here’s the fun ‘what if’ for why Maki!mastermind could potentially work - it would really add onto Kaito and Kokichi’s conflict. Kokichi never liked Maki from the start, and antagonized her repeatedly - what if it was he sensed that potential in her? What if she was sent to infiltrate the mission by the cult and have everyone killed like this? And on Kaito’s side, he spends big chunks of the game trying to redeem her. What if it worked? What if it turned out that both Kaito and Kokichi were right, as a follow-up to this chapter where they both set aside their differences and work with each other (and, well, are killed by Maki). What if Kaito turned someone who had the capability to set up this game into someone that wouldn’t? There’s so ground that could be covered in this direction - I mean, I doubt it’s true which is why I said from the getgo that I highly doubt it’s the case, but it would be a fantastic reason to have highlighted her character so much and really give depth to, well, ‘tsundere assassin learns to love’. I could go on about this tbh...

4) The one I’ve been partial to for a while now... the mastermind is someone who specializes in lying. In putting on a mask. In breathing life into a persona, inhabiting it, becoming it, until it’s indistinguishable from their own identity - perhaps becomes their identity in those moments, to the point that Kokichi wouldn’t be able to realize they were lying. Oh, Kokichi was incredibly adept at it, sure - but he was recognized for his leadership skills, as unorthodox as they may have been. There’s someone else still alive, however, whose talent addresses the concept of ‘becoming another person’ has not been showcased much if at all to this point. 

now mind you other than the proclivity for cults shown in chapter 3 and references to escapism, I still haven’t gotten a proper motive in mind but at all but hopefully that’ll come next chapter??? anyway I’m getting distracted again

kokichi has the heart of a gamer

You just know that’s Kokichi’s game face. I mean, Kaito has his ‘optimistic!’ face on right now to give him the strength to face his own execution - maybe this is Kokichi’s way of comforting himself too?

THAT MUSIC CUT!!!

“ALSO HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THAT WITH YOUR EXPRESSION, IT’S JUST THE TWO OF US, CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME BEFORE YOU DIE -”

Could it have worked the other way around? If Kaito let himself die, Kokichi pretended to be Kaito in the exisal and it was left decide whether ‘Kaito’ mercy-killed ‘Kokichi’ via the press or if he died by poison first, would that have been viable? Probably not as effectively... it would be a lot easier for them to believe Kokichi was pretending to be Kaito, less believable that Kaito wouldn’t show himself in the exisal, and a whole host of other factors. Maybe not, then.

And of course Kaito asked Kokichi that, because if he’s going to be committing to a plan this wild he needs some assurance.

Then there have to be people alive, right??? But they saw the burning ruins around them when they tried to leave, and even collapsed because of the air quality - so what, did they crash land in an area that was wiped out or something? But there are still places where people are alive?

It was a test, then.

... Gonta... has to have been a heavy weight on his conscience. I think we can officially say his breakdown over him was real if he would go so far as to try and end the killing game like this - and if Gonta was a necessary sacrifice, it was one Kokichi was pushed to make when he had few options left.

I think the chess analogies I’ve been associating with him are accurate at this point, and it would even be fair to say that if you were to think about Kokichi’s strategic thought process, the allusions are almost necessary - the whole game is about exchanging pieces in order to get a more powerful position on the board and eventually corner the ‘king’, and at some point Kokichi looked at the board and his available moves, as well as the ‘piece’ Miu Iruma putting him in a ‘check’ position, and realized that his only option was to intercept her with ‘piece’ Gonta. I also like using chess here too because there’s duality in that too - there’s the side of Miu that Kokichi can and clearly did use for his strategies, and the side that the mastermind used by way of motive.

Ah, and of course I’d be remiss to not mention that Yu-Gi-Oh! the card game works well too here (hell, it comes up in his FTE) even though it’s less accessible; it’s a game where more powerful moves require sacrificing lower level ‘monsters’, and there’s a literal graveyard they’re sent to. Also, unlike chess, playing from the graveyard is a legitimate strategy in YGO . I’m sure, especially after this trial, Kokichi can relate to that strategy in particular.

Or maybe as they’re suddenly starting to imply it’s more like the ‘Black Book Club’ ala YYH? There must be people alive then, right? ... So maybe... people who survived through unscrupulous means and sheer force of wealth and need some sort of entertainment??? They remembered being kidnapped at the beginning of everything, right? Were they intercepted before the gopher project had a chance to play out and now they’re being kept in an isolated facility somewhere meant to replicate the ship, but it actually isn’t the ship at all? Wait, when did I start wearing a tinfoil hat - ?!

Kaito is defending Kokichi, everything is right in the world

Shuichi: Please don’t redirect the spotlight at me - ah, shit shit damn it shit 

“It’s just like Kokichi said!”

mm thank you game, keep feeding me merci beaucoup

Himiko just gobbles up any bit of positive attention thrown her way with the obvious and incredibly glaring exception of Tenko??? man I really need to do her FTEs or something - does she just not know how to handle straight-up affection or -

i n h a l e s

KOKICHI OUMA

IS NOT

A REMNANT OF DESPAIR!!!!

K1-B0 YOU’RE KILLING ME HERE!!!

This just makes me wonder if betting and big money in general is wrapped up in all of this. “Who is the mastermind? Now gentlemen, place your bets before the reveal!”

MAKI IT’S THAT ATTITUDE THAT GOT US IN THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

tsun

dude he found a way to save Maki and potentially stop the game, I would hardly call it ‘evil’.

“I mean, I was hoping we could cut straight to the chase, but you’re actually a decent guy at the end of the day, and unlike most of the rest of the class don’t actually want me dead. Damn it.”

Fucking hell, between the music and his faces it so so easy to frame him as eeeeviiil!!! And yet just looking at the text in isolation, it reads:

“But are you sure you’re okay with that? Because if this poison kills me, then Maki would become the blackened. And her crime would be exposed so easily.

If that happened, then Maki and I would’ve died for no reason, right? Which is just what the true mastermind expects...”

And yeah sure it still has a bit of an edge to it, but it’s way more ambiguous when presented outside of his “Supreme Leader” aura which apparently can warp both his face and music.

Kaito is still trying to filter this through his ‘hero vs villain’ narrative, bless his heart. Either that or this is a heavily edited version of events - it would be interesting, even if it’s unlikely, if we found out that Kokichi made Kaito promise to tell everyone a different story than what really happened in the event of being found out.

There are gears turning in Kaito’s head right now, you can’t tell me there aren’t.

even if some of them are just him thinking ‘no seriously how are you doing that with your face’

NO!!! NO ‘D’ WORDS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!

FUCK I want to have a montage of Kokichi doing incredibly kind-hearted and generous things and just doing his damnedest to spin it all in the most scary, ominous way possible!

“To answer your question, it’s really hard for me to hold my face in these expressions and the muscle spasms beginning to wrack my body are making it that much harder.”

But you can see shades of yourself in him, can’t you? That’s the scary part. Their goals aligned. This whole time, they’ve just wanted to help their classmates survive. They assigned themselves bombastic personalities in order to take the pressure off of those left in the class and damn it, they both prepared themselves to die alone in order to make good on their wish to save everyone left. Kaito made references to Kaede’s last wish - I wonder if Kokichi took it to heart as well?

No you were, Kokichi! No you fucking weren’t! Fml I don’t know how much solace that gives you at the end of the line, but...

Okay I nearly ended the post here as a tribute to Kokichi’s efforts but I have a rule of doing a single post-trial, pre-execution post and I must resist that urge -

LMAO IS THAT WHAT YOU GOT OUT OF THE EXCHANGE

I-It’s going to take you a while to warm up to the idea of ‘Kokichi actually wasn’t the dick he pretended to be’ huh. 8′D

OH REALLY

IT WASN’T BECAUSE OF MAKI OR ANYONE ELSE

IT WAS BECAUSE YOU TWO AGREED ON SOMETHING

SO YOU WEREN’T ULTIMATELY BLACKMAILED OR COERCED INTO THIS, EVEN IF THAT’S WHAT GOT YOU LISTENING INITIALLY

YOU CHOSE TO DO THIS FOR THE GREATER GOAL OF RUINING THE GAME

just. just want to make sure that point was clear for myself. Seems like it’s important characterization-wise, that’s all.

This seems like a good time to note that I am 99% sure Kaito had those swirly despair!eyes DR is known for in the last image with him coughing up blood. That was definitely the turning point for the chapter.

Also, Kokichi didn’t just swallow his pride - Kaito did too. He’s wanted to be the hero who swooped in to save the day for how long??? And here he is, admitting that this was fully Kokichi’s plan, and acknowledging that Kokichi was correct in a lot of ways even if he didn’t agree with him on everything. Beautiful.

nO IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING WE’RE ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW

‘THAT WAS A LIE.’

OKAY THAT’S IT, WRAP IT UP FOLKS, WE’RE DONE HERE.

“Ha ha yeah I could probably drop dead at any moment tbh ha ha why are you giving me those looks huh ha ha ha hrk -”

I’m guessing the medical exam took place before all of these events happened. But wasn’t the whole point of selecting these guys that they were immune or something??? I mean clearly it wasn’t true - I guess it was dormant or - ?!

... which Monokuma then brings up himself. Cool, thanks.

How dare you say that so cheerfully. >:(

L M A O

he’s so bloody casual about the whole thing

I mean I get that it’s because he’s come to terms with dying but

damn it Kaito

A chance to end the killing game and save everyone, knowing he was on his way out either way, and a way to save Maki specifically - it really was the perfect storm, huh?

Well damn it I know it’s implying this all happened after Kokichi died, but the idea of Kaito visibly fangirling over the plan in front of Kokichi, giving him a bit of external validation for the first and last time since his miserable life started here, makes me feel a little better. If nothing else, he would have at least felt good about the chances of success before he died.

FUCKING DAMN IT IT’S LIKE KAITO LINED UP HIS DIALOGUE STRAIGHT AT MY HEART AND PULLED THE TRIGGER

MERCILESS

DAMN YOU KAITO I SEE THAT SMILE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE DOING

my BOYFRIEND

I’m not sure if he’s trying to comfort Shuichi after messing up Kokichi’s plan or not but if he is, he’s incredibly good at it.

Was it????

again, more praise for him -

Kokichi, beyond the grave: NO YOU DUMBASS I GAVE MY LIFE SO YOU COULD END IT IN A SINGLE TRIAL as soon as you join me in the afterlife I am going to KICK YOUR ASS -

AIBOU

Oh you big hypocrite. Wait - no - let me check -

*takes off shipping glasses*

Nope, I still don’t buy it. Kaito has a tendency to go to an extreme with his words - he’s shown that time and time again. The fact that he’s already started layering praise on Kokichi at this point - that means something. The idea of him as a whole still rankles Kaito and he still has their clashing viewpoints and outlooks on life to work through, but his opinion on him has already turned so much at this point. If he had more time to think on it, I bet it would change that much further. And again - pointing to that love hotel scene - Kaito loves a challenge, and people that challenge him. Kokichi was a fantastic rival for him, and the fact that he knows now that he never meant any true harm to them is important. He also hasn’t been given a chance to really digest the importance of everything Kokichi revealed to him - he basically got the script and plan thrusted into his hands, spent whatever time he wasn’t sleeping and recuperating studying it and preparing for the trial, and now, well, we’re here. Kaito has been shown to be very good at reevaluating people once he’s cooled off, and he hasn’t had a chance to really do that!

.... If only he had more time to reflect. 8c

!!!!!    g o d ........

The darkened face sprite...

Insert Himiko parallel here.

WELL COOL THAT WAS PRETTY UNAMBIGUOUS

“NO DAMN IT! I HAVE MY ROCK-SOLID VIEW ON HIM! STOP MAKING HIM LOOK SYMPATHETIC!”

If you really thought that, would you really share those words with everyone? In fact, just the fact that you said that in reference to being a ‘lying sack of shit’ in regards to his supposed feelings during the game and acting like everything happening was fun -  that, uh, kinda speaks for itself!

Thank you K1-b0!!! I officially forgive you for calling Kokichi a Remnant of Despair again.

don’t you pull this shit on me game

just because you have the class split down the middle doesn’t mean you can pull the wool over my eyes

WAS HE.... THOUGH....

No seriously, what an odd thing to say. I... I don’t know what to make of it. Do actions not speak louder than words? Am I the crazy one here??

!!!!!!!

HE’S ACTING ON HIS CLAIM OF ‘COMMUNICATION BEING IMPORTANT’ AAAAAH

OH MY GOD WHAT AN EXCELLENT APOLOGY

Seriously I could probably learn a thing or two from it, damn.

Chapter 5′s entire mission is to make me cry, I see, I see.

Even now, three chapters later, I am still incredibly impressed by that move on Kaito’s part. He just knew exactly how to alleviate the pressure Shuichi was under.

?!?!

AH NO NOT COOL WHAT THE FUCK NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR HEARTFELT APOLOGY DAMN IT

as;dlkfj Kaito you and Kokichi are tied in having the most horrifying sprites in the game. Congratulations! You did win at something after all!

ANOTHER FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME LAUGH WITH THAT ‘YOU SURE ARE, BUCKO!’ BULLSHIT

speaking of sprites that denote great terror!!

I-It really is the Kaede scene all over again D: including them being willing to fight Monokuma and Kaede/Kaito protesting!

I hope you do little man!!! 

This was the strength Shuichi desperately wanted but didn’t have in chapter 1 - and man oh man it’s nice to see him showing it now, in full force!

but as usual Monokuma is off thinking about his own thing

DOES

THAT

ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING

THAT YOU RECYCLED LIFE

THAT THESE GUYS ARE NOT JUST REPLACEABLE, BUT PERHAPS REPLACEMENTS

DID YOU RECYCLE MEMORIES AND TALENTS, PERHAPS -

oh NO APPARENTLY NOT DON’T YOU DO THIS

...........

Okay they all introduce themselves here but you know what? No. No. I’m not dignifying you guys with your opening screenshots even if I do love your theme song. sorry monodam I like you but I’m lumping you in with the rest of them

YOU ARE DEFINITELY MAKING SOME SORT OF STATEMENT ABOUT THE ACTUAL STUDENTS HERE

PERHAPS ABOUT HOW YOU GATHERED UP SOME NO NAME KIDS AND FORCED TALENTS, MEMORIES AND ABILITIES OF DEAD STUDENTS FOR SOME REASON, OR THAT YOU HIJACKED THE ORIGINAL PLANS OF PEOPLE WHO DID THAT

perhaps to make sure those that were immune to the virus were what humanity needed to survive or something???

I JUST -

I JUST DON’T KNOW IF I’M RIGHT ON MY CURRENT ASSUMPTION OR IF THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS I’M MISSING BECAUSE WHAT I’VE COME UP WITH FITS PRETTY WELL

oh jeez okay we’re making a direct comparison then - I guess that’s fair at this point of the game, but I guess I just wasn’t ready for it?

THAT’S. THAT LITERALLY GOES AGAINST THE WHOLE ‘EVERYONE IS DEAD’ THING. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?!

YOU’RE REALLY NOT

Except you. Only you. so basically the opposite of monokid. whatever i really don’t care about the kubs tbh

........ oh fuck

Sadly I’m on Kaito’s side in all of this.

It really did grow on her, huh. When was the last time anyone showed her any sort of affection outside of that ‘childhood friend’ hinted at in her FTEs? :(

I didn’t keep all of the interspersions of Kaito reacting in surprise to Maki’s statements but the fact that he didn’t realize his impact on her, that he was really getting through to her, is sad to me. Makes sense - the only indication he got that she was starting to respond to his ‘training’ was from Shuichi in the hangar bathroom scene, and then just a few hours later she busts in, completely throwing away everything he said about her being more than her talent, and basically acting as the mastermind’s weapon. It is incredibly interesting that he’s so shocked by all of her outbursts here - that he didn’t realize how much she actually cared about him.

Aaaah she’s crying D: Those sound clips, man...

And here’s the confession that was pretty much inevitable at this point.

For once Shuichi knew a matter of the heart before Kaito. That’s significant - in fact, it may actually say more about Kaito than Shuichi. You brag so much, but when it comes down to it, you really did underestimate the power your positivity had on people - or perhaps, more likely, your own self-confidence was shaken that badly in the last chapter?

Figures you’d only let us see you bleed is when you physically can’t hide it anymore and are actually about to drop dead.

KAITO UNDERSTANDS PEOPLE

INCREDIBLY WELL

AND KNOWS HOW TO SUPPORT THEM UNTIL THEY CAN STAND ON THEIR OWN

You - are you not going to address her confession at all??? omg I... I think Kaito may not feel the same way about her. Oh. oh jeez this is awkward...

Seriously though, what a smart way for him to take that confession and use it to help her. Whether he likes her back or not, it doesn’t matter - he won’t be around much longer anyway. What’s most important to him right now is that his friends will be okay when he’s gone - and in this moment, that they stand down and live.

I mean. Come on. He’s literally dripping blood from the mouth and smiling through it. Kaito, you’re absolutely ridiculous and I love you.

easy for you to say, you can’t see yourself right now

whatever Kaito you can’t fucking stop me I’m on the other side of the screen

WHOA DAMN WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM

Wait, that’s a reference to Ishimaru, right? Uh, Ishida?

.... does that mean this is him speaking for both him and Kokichi right now???

“Like I did. Like Kokichi did. Learn from us. Grow in our absence. Thrive. And take that sonuvabitch down.”

YES ONE LAST SAIMOTA BRO-TALK FOR THE ROAD!!!

OH GOD OKAY SPEAKING OF THINGS ‘FOR THE ROAD’, ANOTHER DEPRESSING SPRITE

Man, you just weren’t ready for this game at all. Physically you were stronger than everyone else, but mentally...

And just like that, he backs down. There’s probably some pretty valid criticism levelled at Kaito about being persistent and not always taking ‘no’ for an answer, but he does when it’s most important to, I think. And he knows to back down here because damn it, she needs to get this out of her system.

You’re not just some hero, Kaito, and that’s okay - you’re not some larger than life Ultimate Astronaut, Luminary of the Stars, just as Shuichi isn’t just the Ultimate Detective and Maki isn’t just the Ultimate Assassin -

You’re Kaito Momota, Shuichi and Maki’s friend. <3

THE FIRE IS BACK!!! 

YOU TELL HIM, MY MAN!

Just so you know, when I played this through initially I just. I just paused the game a few screenshots before this because it was late and FUCK THIS SHIT I’M NOT WATCHING HIM DIE BEFORE I SLEEP TONIGHT

not sure if delaying the inevitable was any better but anyway, that’s where my head was at. I was incredibly Not Ready either way.

THIS IS ALREADY INCREDIBLY ‘NOPE’

NOPE IS AN EMOTION RIGHT

fuck it it is now

holy shit it’s the execution that started the whole series off

Also I’m mad about how pretty the whole thing is. Is that the planetarium that we can use as a gift???

Nice new threads, Monokuma.

NO HE’S ALREADY IN SO MUCH VISIBLE PAIN THIS IS NOT COOL AT ALL

NO FUCK YOU

I KNOW I SHOULD BE IN AWE OF THE CALLBACK BUT NO

Usually these are ironic though??? His whole thing is about how he wants to ��go to space, though I suppose the irony of being killed with what you love always fits like it did with the others...

OH FUCK YOU AGAIN

I didn’t notice it until I looked at this still, but aren’t those the headmaster’s bones???

HE’S COUGHING THE WHOLE TIME.... FFF

I-Is he still alive at this point??? The headmaster was reduced to bones at some point during the trip, right???

!!!!!!

HE’S TRYING SO HARD TO CLING TO LIFE...

KAITO!!!

KAITO, YOU MADE IT!!!!

oh god he

he smiled... for just a moment....

Kaito, on his way to hell, at Monokuma: ╭∩╮(︶︿︶)╭∩╮

OH COOL HE DIED SMILING

I’M DEFINITELY NOT CRYING OR ANYTHING

He died amongst the stars.... 

Wait so does that mean they didn’t see any of this happen??? Or was it projected on a TV for them or something -

oh jeez -

WAIT HOLD ON WTF?!

OI NO COLLATERAL DAMAGE ALLOWED!!!

AHOGE DOWN, AHOGE DOWN?!?! 

Despite the smiling, despite him finally reaching space, there ultimately isn’t any happiness be found in death. He never wanted to go out like this. :(

GOOD FUCK YOU MONOKUMA

[roxilalonde]

Vriska Serket and the Antihero’s Archetype

In other news, I am endlessly fascinated with the Spidertroll. So I wrote an essay about gender, social perspective, literary archetypes, stages of morality, and Vriska Serket. 

First off: I’m not here to argue that Vriska is perfect. She fucks up. In some cases, she fucks up to the point where she seriously hurts others, mentally and physically, and becomes seriously toxic company. I’m not here to excuse her behavior wrt Tavros, or to justify her treatment of others’ emotional needs, because neither is healthy or defensible. But what I am interested in is how she ended up being the Fandom Recognized “worst troll ever” in a group with (a) a murderous bigot, (b) an abusive murderclown, and (c) a racist with a penchant for bestiality and a characteristic lack of regard for consent. 

The answer: It’s a long story.

Let’s talk about Vriska.

Absolutely necessary in any constructive discussion of Vriska’s character is an examination of her upbringing. Her lusus, a.k.a “Spidermom,” is demonstrably the worst parent of any of the trolls. Keeping her alive requires Vriska to routinely kill or be killed, and it obviously strains her; the psychological effects of having such a huge burden placed on her at a young age are demonstrated here; she voices a strong dislike for her lusus here. Further, Spidermom fails to care for Vriska to any extent you would expect from a parent, and Vriska seems delighted to be rid of her once the game starts. When confronted with the task of killing her parent, she is neither frightened nor even unhappy about it - her only concern is whether she’ll be able to do the job.

Your surroundings as a child define how you view the world and relate to it. Changing that perspective is difficult, and takes years of work and support. People in fandom like to characterize Vriska as a suave manipulator, cruel and unfeeling to the plight of others unless it benefits her to be concerned. But reading her pesterlogs, you would only believe that if you took everything she said at face value, which is a thin reading. A face-value reading implies that Dave likes puppets, Rose hates her mother, and Caliborn is a tactical genius. The impression Vriska gives is that of a person with a fundamental inability to connect with other people, who struggles with empathy in particular. She experiences sympathy - feeling bad that others are suffering - just fine. (Terezi and Kanaya, for example, are both recipients of her sympathy, after she does them harm.) But empathy, or the emotional understanding of others’ emotions as they experience them, she lacks, which evidences that her emotional intelligence never developed as a child (or she can’t do empathy, generally; neither is a character deficit so much as a product of circumstances outside of her control). Passages I think are useful reading here: these pesterlogs with Aradia and John, and the famous pirate cave monologue.

Now, let’s throw in Mindfang. From the onset, Vriska has two clearly established models in her life: a neglectful (arguably abusive) lusus, and an inaccessible, deified ancestor who glorifies violence and unlawfulness. Her value of Mindfang seems to come from Mindfang’s “coolness,” i.e., the fact that Mindfang is never awkward or incompetent. Of course a socially inept child is going to deify someone who’s always in control of their self-presentation. Especially since the Mindfang narrative that Vriska reads is entirely written by Mindfang, so there’s probably some severe manipulation of the facts going down to make her seem cooler than she is. 

And then Doc Scratch. An omniscient deity meddling in the affairs of a prepubescent girl from a young age, informing her that she has no choice in most of her critical decisions, and pushing her towards the decisions that will make possible the Alpha Timeline. He humors her desire for attention and importance by predicating his attention to her on her obedience; when she rebels, tries to develop an independent conscience, he criticizes her. From a young age, Vriska is being told that morality is impossible because everything in the universe is predetermined. That her choice doesn’t matter. Her life is a series of desperate grasps at free will, which has been denied her since birth. So she exerts her control over others to mimic the ways of her role models, Mindfang and Scratch. This is where Tavros comes in. 

That said: Vriska’s treatment of Tavros is inexcusable. It’s degrading, physically harmful, and toxic. Again, I’m not trying to defend it. But I want to point out that it comes from her trying to “improve” him, to change what she perceives as a flaw - his cowardice and indecisiveness. Already, Vriska is an improvement on her predecessors in that when she exerts control over others, she does it out of a misguided belief that she’s improving society - not solely for selfish reasons. And she points what she perceives as flaws with Tavros’ character. (Her comments about his disability, notably, which are ableist and inexcusable, do not fall under this category.) In trying to play Mindfang, and make him into her Summoner, the inept Vriska ends up hurting him. It doesn’t stem from malignancy; it stems from instability, and a lack of emotional intelligence. That’s where virtually all of her problems come from.

Additionally, her egotism in thinking she can “fix” Tavros can be traced to Spidermom and Mindfang, too. Her need to step out of her idols’ shadow leads to a desperate search for recognition, first and foremost a positive one. She’s a neglected child who desperately wants attention. What she does to get that attention is coached in the norms of a brutally violent society, but is a cry for help nonetheless.

Let’s talk about antiheroes.

Contrary to popular belief, an antihero is not just “an imperfect hero” or “a hero who doesn’t always do the right thing.” The antihero, specifically, is a person with ethical principles designed to contrast the protagonist - whom you root for even if they make the wrong choices. The AH has the same goals as the Protag, but a different set of ethics from whence they derive those goals. From TV Tropes:

“An Archetypal Character who is almost as common in modern fiction as the Ideal Hero, an antihero is a protagonist who has the opposite of most of the traditional attributes of a hero . . . often an antihero is just an amoral misfit. While heroes are typically conventional, anti-heroes, depending on the circumstances, may be preconventional (in a "good" society), postconventional (if the government is "evil") or even unconventional. Not to be confused with the Villain or the Big Bad, who is the opponent of Heroes (and Anti-Heroes, for that matter).”

Aranea is a villain. She directly opposes the goals of our protagonists (winning the session, and/or bodily autonomy). Gamzee is a villain: he directly opposes the goals of our protagonists (staying alive, not dying). The Condesce is a villain: she directly opposes the goals of our protagonists (staying alive, winning the session). Vriska is not a villain, archetypally: she does not oppose the goals of our protagonists, most of the time, and in fact helps in achieving them. Putting aside the question of whether she’s a bad person, she’s not a Bad Guy.

Her code of ethics most closely aligns with an Antihero - in this case, a preconventional one. There’s a neat article to be written about Vriska’s advancement along the Kohlberg stages of moral development, but for our purposes, “preconventional” just means “I do things for me, and to the extent that doing things for others will do things for me.” Her main goal: fame and glory. Subsidiary goals: help her teammates to win the game, and create a new universe. Unlike traditional preconventional actors, she doesn’t care about her own life and wellbeing, or if she does, only insofar as they can aid her ultimate goal, which is attention and acclaim.

AG: I only ever wanted to do the right thing no matter how it made people judge me, and I don't need a magic ring to do that.

Let’s talk about gender.

Take a moment and tally up all the male antiheroes in popular media you can remember. (Count them twice if they get a redemption arc.) Off the top of my head: Zuko, Lestat, Derek Hale, Nico di Angelo, Severus Snape, Jason Todd, Captain Jack Sparrow, Han Solo, Spike, Tyrion Lannister. That’s without a single glance at the TV Tropes page, either. Those are all from some of the most popular media of the past twenty years: ATLA, IWAV, Teen Wolf, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Batman, PoTC, Star Wars, Buffy, Game of Thrones. 

Now count the women. (Count them as half if their “alternative code of ethics” is “I sleep with and lie to men to get what I want, which is almost exclusively money, until I met Protagonist, who changed my evil ways.”) Personally, I’ve got a decently sized list, but at least half are from Homestuck, with others being characters I go out of my way to explore: Arya Stark, Princess Bubblegum, Marcelline, most women from House. I’d give it to Furiosa, too, although that’s arguable. Maybe you have a long list; if so, please tell me what you’ve been reading/watching lately, because these women are either sidelined in the popular media they appear in, or aren’t depicted in popular media to the same level that their male counterparts are at all. (Note: the one-off female antihero, on the other hand, is incredibly popular, perhaps because the writer doesn’t need to develop her character or give her a substantive arc: see Jyn from ATLA, Calypso from PoTC, Narcissa Malfoy from HP.) 

Here’s why: people are much more inclined to forgive a man for doing bad things than they are to forgive a woman. You can chalk this up to any number of stereotypes about women in media: that they have to be nurturers, or that their “purity” is an important aspect of their being. Regardless, if you look over the TV Tropes page for the antihero (even with the obvious miscategorizations), and you’ll find the vast majority are men. Writers have realized that audiences are far more interested in a morally grey, badass, complex, tragic-backstoried man of action than a woman of the same persuasion. 

Let’s go back to talking about Vriska.

Contrast the fandom’s reception of Vriska with its reception of Eridan. To clarify: Eridan, ultimately, isn’t an antihero. He’s a villain. He murders people. He wants to commit genocide. Furthermore, he has no discernible motivation for this except being a bigoted asshat. But you don’t see 2,000-word callouts for Eridan, despite there being a large portion of fandom that wholeheartedly stans him. This doesn’t mean you can’t be interested in Eridan as a character, or even that you can’t like him, although I don’t understand the appeal, personally. But it means that condemning Vriska, all of whose mistakes are clearly motivated and regretted, probably isn’t the hill you want to die on.

I envision a hypothetical world where Vriska is written a boy. And I guarantee you, in that world, there’s a dedicated group of fans who - unironically - call him “a perfect sinnamon roll” and “my innocent son.” His trauma is openly discussed and sympathized with in fandom. Vrisrezi is in the top 5 most popular Homestuck ships on AO3. The Scourge Bros are the most popular troll ship, period. 

We forgive Terezi for manipulating Dave. We forgive Terezi for manipulating and murdering John. Because hey, narratively speaking, they end up fine, right? (Just like Tavros does.) But Vriska is where we draw the line in the sand. Because she’s an antihero, whereas Terezi has always been a nice, comfortable female protagonist. She doesn’t conflict with John & Co. She is clearly motivated by the Greater Good. Vriska is not.

Conclusion

Vriska isn’t simple. Female characters who aren’t simple inevitably cause controversy, to a much lesser degree than male characters of the same nature. Furthermore, the fact that she isn’t a protagonist in the classical sense - whereas most of her group, in contrast, are clearly written as protagonists - makes her appear “worse” than the others, or even, at an extreme “the worst.” Disliking her is perfectly understandable. Thinking she’s a bad person is reasonable. But please don’t do either without considering why she does what she does, and evaluating for yourself whether she deserves the reputation she has. 

[lumbirdjack]

Who’s ready for some bullshit thoughts on why Merlin can be “Summoned?”

Yes, yes, I know-- I always seem to swoop in with absolute bullshit Merlin meta whenever anyone asks a question about him within my general vicinity. I apologize. I just love that man.

Anyways. Let’s discuss a few theories I have. As a foreword, sorry for any formatting issues or anything like that, tumblr really fucked with it hardcore and I did my best to fix it up but. Also ignore any typos ect ect. Whatever. Merlin meta under the cut because I got REALLY longwinded:

1) Perhaps Merlin’s A-Ranked Illusionism skill allows him to project himself, or a shadow of himself, onto the physical plain. The Profile translation on the Cirnopedia says that his Illusionism is “A magic that deludes people. It indicates intervention towards the mind, virtual projections on the real world and the likes. Upon reaching A Rank, nightmares on the mental world are a matter of course, but he can also easily create virtual images of about the size of a single village to deceive people.” The important thing to note is that it describes “Virtual projections on the real world.” Coupled with his clairvoyance, this means that Merlin could very easily be projecting some sort of physical “body” for himself to act through, even though it’s not his actual body. This would also explain why he’s got flowers coming out of him all the time always, because I believe that’s just a side effect of his magic-- and why one of his myroom lines is that he does not, in fact, throw flowers everywhere with each step. I say this is the least likely of the theories even though technically speaking it is one of the least likely, but it’s a possibility regardless and something worth keeping in mind.

2) This second theory deals with what Avalon is, does, and represents. Let us take a gander at what his profile says about Avalon: “Reproduces the 『tower』where Merlin is even now being confined on the surroundings. Flowers bloom in profusion and a warm sunlight shines on the ground, no matter what sort of darkness or hell that might be. Even if the space that he has been permitted with is nothing but a jail of mere 10 meters in all directions, and the scenery given to him is only an isolated emptiness found far away in the skies, it continues to exist as a utopia.“

The interesting thing to note about this is the phrasing. This could be a byproduct of the translation, but it’s all I have to go on, so: “The tower where Merlin is even now being confined.” Merlin is still absolutely confined within the tower. But! That’s not the important part of the profile in regards to Avalon: “The place where the magus Merlin is must not be a hell, but a land filled with hope.”

There it is. Avalon does not exist in any map. Avalon is a reflection of the world; the beautiful reflection of the world where hope exists above all else. Where even in the depths of despair, hope prevails. The solitary tower overlooking everything, even the fate of humanity. In Merlin’s Bond CE, it describes Avalon as “Avalon. Another name for the soul of the planet Earth itself, the inner sea of the star.” Let me just say this really bluntly to make my point clear: Avalon is the existential concept of hope and fate given “physical” form. Therefore, it would make sense for Avalon to be able to manifest itself where both the World’s and Humanity’s Hope is the strongest... Chaldea.

And thus the puzzle pieces fit together. Because Chaldea is humanity’s Last Hope with all this timeline fuckery, Merlin was able to materialize Avalon at or within Chaldea, giving him the opportunity to actually Be There. And, by extension, because of the technology Chaldea has where they transmit a Physical Body into a Spiritual One for time travel.... Well, suddenly Merlin’s got a body he can use to fuck everyone he can get his hands on be a servant.

And the last theory I have. The one that’s actually the least likely, but is still one of my favourites because I Love To Hurt. This one is the most bullshit and the most [insert me in a tinfoil hat pointing vigorously at a wall with a ton of different pictures all linked together by colourful lines, super conspiracy theory style]

3. Avalon is a prison meant to hold Merlin and Merlin alone. Its scripture states “Only the Innocent May Pass.” This is important, but it’s a point I will get back to later. If you read his Bond CE translation, it even says this:

“Now go, Cath Palug. I’m staying here. But you should go free, to touch truly beautiful things.” The man let his last companion out through a window, without showing any emotion. And so the mage continued to gaze at the world from that one window.

And that’s where things start to get fucked! Merlin says, specifically, “I’m staying here.” Not “I can’t leave,” or “I can’t go,” or any variation of that! Specifically “I’m saying here.” As though it’s his choice. In fact, the Bond CE text also says this: “It is here that that man closed off his own path, shutting himself into the tower, choosing a future where he could not die until the end of the star.”

The important part of this text is “That man closed off his own path, shutting himself into the tower.” It almost makes it sound like Merlin chose to enter the tower himself. Makes it sound like Merlin locked himself away. But didn’t the Lady of the Lake lock Merlin away for trying to seduce her? Well, actually, based on what the Wiki says: “Merlin has left King Arthur before the last battle with Mordred due to his problem with love affairs. He claims that the cold-mannered woman has been trying to murder him, and so he has taken refuge on the Reverse Side of the World, where he had crossed the boundary and stumbled into a foreign land known as Avalon.” It’s later revealed that Avalon was a trap, and as soon as he entered, the Tower rose to trap him. Given enough time, however, I’m sure he could find a way, or a loophole, to leave his tower. In fact, the inscription, as I mentioned before, is “Only the innocent may pass.” If Merlin considered himself innocent, could he not, then, pass? Guilt and Innocence are concepts based solely on the [self], after all. Ah... But that’s not the case, is it? Merlin feels guilty. Merlin feels guilty for.... Well, let’s take a look at his last profile paragraph.

“Possessing outstanding clairvoyance, in spite of having foreseen all about the collapse of he Round Table and Britain’s crisis, he left Britain without telling anything to King Arthur. There are many theories as for why Merlin never told King Arthur about her fate, but it is often said that it was because he is not biased towards individuals, instead caring only about fate. Afterwards, Merlin went to the utopia of Avalon and confined himself into a 『tower』.To ascertain the world of humans until the end of the universe, without being able to die.......as if to say that this is the fate of a foolish man, who playfully meddled with the fate of a single girl.”

Merlin saw everything. Merlin knew of everything that would happen. In the Once and Future King, Merlin can see the future and knows exactly what is going to happen, but is powerless to resist: or, alternatively, does not resist because he knows that That Is How Things Must Be. Merlin in FGO is the same. His profile confirms that his Clairvoyance applies not only to the present, but also the future: He knew Exactly how the Arthurian Cycle was going to play out. He knew he was going to be trapped in the tower; he knew it had to happen. Thus, even though Merlin did not lock himself in the tower, he still confined himself. He still left. He Had To. He had to follow the cycle; he had to perform as Fate willed. After all, Merlin is not biased towards individuals, but instead answers to Fate itself. However, as I mentioned, Merlin feels incredibly guilty for condemning Arturia to such a cruel fate. Even if that was how things had to be, he still felt guilty about “playfully meddling with the fate of a single girl.” But! It mentions on the Wiki that “After Merlin witnesses Saber’s last moments in the Fifth Holy Grail War, he is pleased with the outcome. He releases Cath Palug from the Garden of Avalon [...] He insists Cath Palug to seek freedom and to play into something really beautiful.” And thus is Merlin absolved of his Guilt. Arturia, his King-- and as his profile mentions, basically his daughter-- has finally found peace, has finally made peace with herself and her fate. And without that guilt, knowing that Arturia found peace... Well, he probably still regrets putting her through Hell, but Regret and Guilt are different. And so Avalon’s gates open. He carries Avalon with him wherever he goes, because it is the Tower where he is Always Destined to Be, but that’s why it is his Noble Phantasm. Because even though he’s finally outside of the tower, he will always return, and it will always be with him.

Anyways, this has been “More Merlin Bullshit With Jordan.” We will return to your regularly scheduled programming shortly. Just. I love Merlin. I’m so pleased with what Fate did with him. Love this hot mage boyfriend, 11/10, would date