#what if that big strong babe is actually a big huge sweetheart and would rather carry you bridal style instead of breaking your bones.

[ladyinthebluebox]

[swan--writes]

Beetlejuice’s Big Halloween Party

I thought about writing a Dewey Halloween, but let’s be real, there ain’t room for the both of these boys in this here holiday.

And listen, it is 2:30 AM and I just finished writing this. I wrote it all in one go. I’m not editing it. Please reblog though! Happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain!

Warnings: elements of horror, blood mention, eyeball mention

Words: 3,070

You screamed.

“Beetlejuice!”

Your demon laughed at you from the rafters of your barn. Ever since you had moved out to your farmhouse, Beetlejuice had been hanging around. Sometimes literally. Normally you found you didn’t mind the demon’s antics – he kept things lively when there wasn’t much going on out where you lived. Sometimes he donned an old sheet and floated around the house. Sometimes he went out into your backyard and howled at the tree line. And sometimes he dropped live bats from the rafters of the barn, directly onto your unsuspecting head.

Frantically, you waved away the little menace. All you could see were glimpses of a wrinkled snout and long teeth. It seemed to be flapping its wings as fast as you were flapping your hands, and by the time it managed to fly off, Beetlejuice was hanging upside-down in midair and cackling.

“Wow, what a jumpy breather,” he said, wiping a thick black tear from his eye. You thought you heard it sizzle as it fell to the worn wooden floor.

“Knock it off, Beej.”

“Yeah, sure I will.”

“Seriously!” You shook your head, fighting off a shiver. “There’s gonna be screaming hordes of children here in, like, an hour. I cannot still be cleaning up your messes when they get here. So, lose the bats and the bugs and the…whatever else you’ve got.” You narrowed your eyes at his tattered suit jacket.

“Relax, babes, I got it all under control.”

Without thinking, you took a step back as he righted himself in the air. “I don’t like the way you said that.”

“Hey, take the help or don’t. I’ll be here all night.” With that, he zoomed up to the rafters, dropping beetle carcasses in his wake. You shrieked and leaped back. “Beetlejuice!” you complained, only to hear his laughter.

It had been less than a year since you moved into your creepy old farmhouse. You still weren’t entirely sure if the creepy old dead guy had come with the property, or if he had followed you there. But when you found his name traced over and over again in the dust of every reflective surface in the house on the first night, you had almost left.

In the end, it was one of the movers who had summoned him. You had had two burly men helping you move your things inside. One of them had remarked on the odd name, Betelgeuse. The other had just happened to be an amateur astronomer. Before any of you knew what was happening, lightening was striking, thunder was rolling, wind was blowing, and the two big, strong movers were scrambling back to their truck. Thoughtfully, they did hurl the last of your furniture from the vehicle as they peeled out of your shaded, and winding driveway. Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse…

“Okay, Beetlejuice, fine! Yes! I do need help.” You grumbled the last to yourself, trying and failing once more to move a heavy wooden table. It had been half an hour since the bat incident, and almost all of it had been spent on this table.

“Well, I don’t know…”

“Beetlejuice.”

“I’m getting kinda tired, y’know…”

“Beetlejuice!”

“A’right, a’right, fine! Taskmaster, jeez.” The demon floated down from the rafters, snapped his fingers, and the table you had been struggling with walked itself over to where you had been trying to move it – against the wall, centered under a window.

The barn was a decent size. Average by northeastern standards, but tall as hell. Or, the Netherworld, you supposed. The structure of the thing was entirely wood, worn down and lightened with time. The posts were a richer color than the floor, which was covered in scratches and the occasional hay straw. There were windows all around, installed sometime within the last half-century, and the sun shone in brilliantly when it was up.

Now it was dark, even at 5:00 PM. As you watched, the decorations you had strewn haphazardly across the space leapt to attention. Miniature pumpkin lights snaked their way around the rafters and posts, along with actual snakes. A layer of fog coated the floor so thickly you could no longer see your own feet. What looked to be a hundred flaming tealights sprung up from every table – some with black flames, others green. The overhead iron-wrapped pendant lights dimmed and aged noticeably, some flakes of rust falling to the floor and becoming lost in the low gloom.

The jack-o’-lanterns you and Beetlejuice had carved the day before lit up abruptly. Paper bats and bloody eyeballs on strings dropped down to hang from the rafters. A soft, eerie music began floating through the room, and when you looked up you saw a greenish gray skeleton manning the DJ setup on a slightly raised section of the floor. It gave you and Beetlejuice a thumbs-up, its other decayed hand on a headphone positioned just a few degrees south of where its ear might have been.

“Thank you, I think--whoa!” Before you could finish thanking your demon, you heard a loud BANG. All the window shutters slammed shut.

“No problem, babes, but what are you gonna do for me?” Beetlejuice waggled his eyebrows at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Politely ask you to open the shutters back up, please? It’s a full moon, we should be able to see it.”

Beetlejuice bent backwards unnaturally far and groaned. “Fine.” A flick of his wrist and the shutters swung open meekly. A few thick, black tentacles with a faint green sheen slithered in at the corners of each window, not breaking the glass but rather bending it open around themselves. The demon dusted off his hands and fixed his tie. “Happy?”

“Very.”

“How’d you get roped into doing this, anyway? I thought you hated kids.”

“I don’t hate them, I just don’t like them. One of the community theater guys asked me to.” You started for the barn door. Beetlejuice followed you, the tips of his shoes dragging the fog.

“Why?” He wrinkled his nose.

“Because the new, mysterious stage manager has a big, scary house in the middle of nowhere that no-one’s ever seen, that’s why.”

“Huh. Is he gonna be here too?” You didn’t have to look at Beetlejuice to know he was grinning.

Before you could warn him not to do anything dangerous, you opened the barn door to find your first chaperone. You weren’t sure if it was a state rule that a gathering of kids under a certain age needed adult chaperones, but knowing Beetlejuice, you were happy to have the help. This one was a theater mom. You barely knew her, but she said she would bring cupcakes, so you had shrugged and given her your address.

“Stephanie, hi,” you said, only mildly startled to see her so early.

“H--oh. Uh, hi,” she replied, now openly staring at Beetlejuice.

“Hi.” Still grinning.

“Um, who is this?” she asked, barely containing her horror.

“I’m–”

“Oh, this is, uh–”

“I’m her, uh–”

“Lawrence!” you said rigidly. “Lawrence…Beetleman.” You pulled at the demon’s arm and he dropped to his feet, stumbling to your side. You knew you should have rehearsed this.

Beetlejuice held out his left hand stiffly. “Nice to meet ya.” You elbowed him as surreptitiously as you could, and he dropped the hand, holding out his right instead.

Stephanie cautiously met his hand, then dropped it immediately. “Oh, I uh…you too, Mr. Beetleman?” Beetlejuice flinched and gagged noticeably.

There was a long silence.

“So…” you tried.

“Right! Yes, I, um…well, I came to help you decorate, but it seems like you have it all taken care of?” Stephanie glanced around you, coming away looking somehow even more horrified.

“Oh yeah, we got it covered, Stevie.” You tried to elbow Beetlejuice again, but he dodged. Moving forward, he took Stephanie’s arm at the elbow and led her into the barn. “Here, lemme show you where to put those cupcakes.” He nodded to the box she was carrying.

“Oh, okay. It’s Stephanie, by the way,” she said nervously.

“Sure.”

“Beetleman,” you cautioned haltingly, frowning at him.

“Don’t worry about it, babes. Don’t you gotta go put on your costume?”

You opened your mouth to argue, but Stephanie spoke first. “It’s fine, I’ll just, um…”

“Yeah, she’ll just um. Go on,” Beetlejuice cajoled. Tightlipped and wide-eyed, you turned and stalked out of the barn, leaving the door open behind you just in case.

Surprising yourself, you managed to get into your costume in under thirty seconds. The makeup, on the other hand, was more of a challenge. There was something about the creaky sounds of wood settling and the draft through the second floor of your house that was making it more difficult than usual to keep your hands steady. But then, you had never been much of an artist.

So, you headed back to the barn in your broken shoes and your torn clothes, perfecting your shamble as you went. The door was still open. Stephanie had her back to you and seemed to be sizing up the tentacles on the far window, but Beetlejuice caught your movement as you tentatively stuck your head into the barn. You motioned for him to come towards you. He followed your lead.

Once you were both just outside the barn door, you turned fully to face him. “Hey,” you whispered.

“What’s up, babes?”

“I’m having a little trouble with my prosthetics. Could you do anything to make me look a little more…” You searched for the right word. “…horrifying?” Seeing Beetlejuice’s eyes light up, you held out a hand. “Without killing and/or maiming me.” You paused. “Or making the children cry.”

The demon gave you a look. “What, on Halloween? Huge cliché, what do you take me for?” You raised your eyebrows, but said nothing. He snapped his fingers and within an instant, you could feel your face and sections of your clothing stiffen with what you hoped was fake blood. “There: instant zombification.”

“Great, lemme just go check–”

“Sweetheart, trust me, you could strike terror into the hearts of any ghoul.”

“Do ghouls have hearts?”

“Whatever you do, never ask a ghoul that.”

You gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Mr. Beetleman.” Almost compulsively, Beetlejuice gagged again. You laughed and led him back into the barn. Stephanie turned to greet you, then turned away again. Your demon gave you a sidelong, self-satisfied look. You shook your head at him, but couldn’t force the smile off of your face.

The kids started showing up minutes later. Stephanie’s wife brought their two sons, then the community theater director came with his daughter, and on and on. Before 6:00, the barn was full. Nearly half of the children had entered the costume contest, which you had begrudgingly appointed Beetlejuice head judge of.

It wasn’t so much that you had invited Beetlejuice as it was that you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep him from staying. Short of banishing him, he would not be left out of your Halloween activities, and the last thing you wanted to do was banish the demon. He could be awfully cranky when he felt ignored, worse when he felt betrayed. Best to keep a close eye on him and leave it there. Shockingly, though, he seemed to be on his best behavior.

That wasn’t saying much, but you appreciated the effort.

He kept the live animals to a minimum, only ate one of the eyeballs hanging from the ceiling, and judged the costume contest as fairly as he could. Fortunately, there was a clear winner: a young zombie whose costume rivalled your own. The judge committee gave him a small skeleton trophy and a candy medal, took some photos with him, and you privately wondered if he had his own ghost-zombie at home to help him with his makeup. Then you shrugged it off and watched – half-mortified, half-impressed – as Beetlejuice summoned a few dead cheerleaders to sing a surprisingly smooth rendition of Time Warp. You were fairly certain a few of his bones came loose during the dance, but you let it slide. The kids were duly impressed, the parents were a suitable distance that they hardly noticed.

It wasn’t until 11:00 PM that all of the adults in the room realized that Beetlejuice had removed the clock that had previously hung on the wall opposite the barn’s door. It took the better part of a half hour to corral the kids to their parents’ respective vehicles, and most of them insisted on hugging you. Warily as ever, you eyed the ones who tried to hug ‘Mr. Beetleman,’ but he somehow managed to turn all of their affections into a high five. Despite yourself, you found yourself smiling.

Once everyone was gone, you turned from the door to assess the barn. It was a disaster. The jack-o’-lanterns had remained lit, as had the candles, but those were the only decorations at thirteen-and-under year old level that had remained undisturbed. The bottles you had placed on the tables, with their faded potion ingredient labels, were toppled over. There were drink puddles and food stains on the floor and half the fog had dissipated. Some of the eyes and bats had come down, others were tangled with the lights on the posts. Somehow, even the pendant lights were flickering slightly.

Beetlejuice did not need sleep. Maybe he could get tired, maybe he couldn’t. You certainly could, and by the time the party was over, you had maxed out your entire energy reserve. So, when your demon told you he’d clean up the next day, you agreed and gave no thought to the fact that it would take him all of two seconds to clean up that night.

Once you had seen off the last of the kids and all of the parents, you trudged back up to your big, scary house. All the light in the barn went out behind you, but you paid it no mind.

Somewhere between the barn and the house, Beetlejuice disappeared. Again, you ignored it. It wasn’t uncommon for Beetlejuice to vanish without telling you, and on Halloween night you imagined there were a hundred more fun things for him to be off doing than watching you get ready for bed. Especially when you caught sight of yourself in your entryway mirror. It was the first time that night that you had seen yourself fully zombified beyond a brief glance at your dim reflection in a darkened, tentacled window.

Your face alone had several large patches of what looked like gaping wounds, and you could see more peeking out from your formerly white collar. You had been going for Proper Academic Zombie, and you looked like you would need a degree in showering to get all this gunk off of yourself. At least you could reuse the costume, maybe disrupt a seminar or two.

Shaking your head, you flicked the light switch beside the front door to turn off the overhead light. Instead of just that light going out, however, the table lamp under the mirror went out as well. So did the hall light over the stairs to your left, the kitchen down the short hallway in front of you, and the living room light beyond that. You tried flicking the switch again. Nothing.

Suddenly, a slam. Several slams all at once. All the shutters you could see swung closed forcefully. From the sound of it, all the shutters on the house closed.

You cleared your throat hesitantly. “Okay, very funny. Beej, that’s you, right?”

Silence.

“Beej?” Though you couldn’t yet hear your heart, you could feel it struggling against the walls of your chest. There was a slight ringing in your ears – the ever-present remnants of your teenaged years. Outside of that: nothing. You took a step, and the creaking of the wood seemed to echo through the whole house. For a brief, crazy moment, you thought about going out to your car. But it seemed the porch light was out too, and being inside a dark house was better than being outside on a dark night.

So, you took another step. Then another. You cursed your shortsightedness in leaving your phone in your room. You reached the stairs. You climbed them, you turned the corner. The wood settle beneath your feet with a deafening creak each step of the way.

There must be a short circuit. There had to be, somewhere. There was no reason for you to have simply lost power. When you reached your room, you saw that your alarm clock was still lit and showing the time, and it was plugged into the same wall outlet as your dark lamp. The box was in your basement.

No way were you going into the basement.

You reached out for your phone. It was dead. You looked over to one of your windows. Of all the windows you’d passed, this seemed to be the only one whose shutters hadn’t closed. Slowly – more slowly than you had moved all night, you crossed the room to look outside. You could see the full moon in all her red-orange beauty. Then, you let out the breath you had been holding. The moon wasn’t going anywhere, even if all the other light was gone.

You should have known better.

A shadow dashed across the moon then, but not at the surface. Through the air. Close to your window. Very, very close.

There was a muffled thud somewhere behind you. You jumped and whirled around to look. When you noticed the light from the moon fading, you slowly turned your head back and saw the shutters swinging closed. Before you could reach out to even open the window, they were completely shut.

Another noise, closer this time.

You couldn’t move. Your heart was racing. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t breathe. You thought about jumping for your bed, some childish thought of pulling the covers over your head before the whatever-it-was could reach you running through your head, but even in your fear you knew it was foolish. It was too late – too close. Your stomach dropped, your hands shook, your legs felt like splintering wood.

Yet another noise. You heard the hinges of your bedroom door waver. It was pitch dark in the room. All at once, a ragged breathing rushed at you across the squeaking floor.

You screamed.

“Beetlejuice!”

.

.

Seriously, please reblog.

Tags List: @skiddyyo @a-okay-rj @geeky-marie @darkblueeyedperson @hannah-de-lioncourt @ironmansuucks @missihart23 @ballerinafairyprincess @thewolfisapartofmysoul

[itsallavengers]

Are you still doing prompts? Cus if so..... An avengers party with a drink Steve on Asgardian mead

“Tony!” A happy, familiar voice called out to him across the room as soon as he walked through the door, “Tony, you’re here! Guys, look! He’s here!”

Tony himself was stood at the doorway, having only just walked in from a late night at Stark Industries. He’d been aware that Thor had intended to have a ‘small gathering to celebrate the day of his birth’ that night- but when he looked around the open-plan communal floor, he had to say, it definitely didn’t look like it had been ‘small’. There had to be at least fifteen people passed out on the floor alone. Not even counting those still standing. 

Including, apparently, Steve.

Tony looked up and saw him, his fluffy blond head peeking out over the sofa. He was beaming at Tony as if he were the best thing since sliced bread. “Guys, look!” He said again, bringing his hand down and smacking a shoulder that looked like it could possibly have been Clint’s. It seemed he used enough force that he managed to dislodge Clint from the couch entirely, and Tony watched with a small wince of sympathy as he was sent rolling onto the floor below. Steve, however, seemed not to notice. “Tony’s here guys!”

“Nnnrgh,” Clint muttered as Tony walked forward with a laugh, “I don’t give a shit. Not my husband.”

Steve looked scandalised. “But… but it’s Tony!” He said in confusion- like that was supposed to make people care. 

“I think that Barton is a little too drunk to sit up right now,” Bruce declared, popping up out of nowhere. Tony jumped and turned, spotting the man as he sprawled over the coffee table, playing with Thor’s fingers whilst the God merely sat still and hummed a happy tune. 

“So,” Tony began, looking around the room, “seems like you all had fun.”

“Steve… he did not,” Natasha commented, a little of her Russian lilt slipping into her voice as she spoke. Her eyes were glued with a wild intensity to the TV screen, where what looked to be a Spanish version of Peppa Pig was playing. “Kept asking for you. Mаленький ребенок.”

“I’ll pretend I know what you just said,” Tony declared, taking another step forward until he was within touching distance of Steve. The man reached out a hand immediately, making a grabby motion with his fingers, and Tony laughed as he locked their hands together. The laugh quickly turned to a yelp, however, when Steve tugged him forward quickly, sending him tumbling over the couch and straight into Steve’s lap. “How much of this Asgardian shit did you give Captain America?” He called to the room as Steve’s happy face loomed over his. 

“I am not sure!” Thor said jovially, his voice about ten times louder than usual, which was saying something- “but it certainly seems to have worked!”

Tony shut his eyes and let himself giggle as Steve leaned down and then started pressing dozens of messy kisses into his face, making exaggerated ‘mwah’ noises as he set each one down. “Yes, I can see that,” he responded, hands curling around Steve’s neck. “Steve, sweetie, I’m happy to see you too.”

“You know, I would not ever say this unless I was incredibly monumentally drunk,” Clint declared as he watched the two of them from his position on the floor, “but man, I wish I had a relationship as sickening and disgusting as yours.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “I’m sober, and I will be remembering that you said that, you know.”

Clint just waved a hand and flopped back onto the rug. “Remember reschmember. S’all love in this house, baby.”

Tony grinned and shook his head, yelping with surprise when he felt Steve suddenly decide to lick his neck and suck messily on the underside of his jaw. Seemed Steve was rather fond of the PDA when he’d had some of that Asgardian Mead. Tony attempted to sit up, but Steve simply kissed him on the mouth and pushed him back down again. He tasted like honey and apples. 

“Love you,” Steve said with a smile, kissing his nose, “love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.”

Tony, despite all these damn years of having Steve tell him that, still blushed a little, loosening his tie and then looking up at Steve with a fond roll of his eyes. “Love you too, you wasted fratboy puppy.”

Steve laughed and kissed his eyelids- or at least, tried to. He ended up hitting Tony’s brow instead. “Those words don’t make any sense,” he murmured, before leaning back and pulling Tony up smoothly. It was moments like these when Tony was reminded very promptly of how strong Steve was, even while drunk off his ass. He repositioned Tony onto his lap so that Tony was straddling him, nodded to himself at his handiwork, and then immediately started to try and remove Tony’s clothes. 

“Whoah, slow down, Soldier,” Tony said with a laugh, taking Steve’s wrists and gently pausing their descent down the buttons of his shirt, “I don’t think our friends would like it if we got naked in front of them.”

Across the room, there were various murmurs of ‘actually that’d be kinda hot’ and ‘no we don’t care’- which didn’t really help Tony’s point much. He sighed, bringing Steve’s wrists to his mouth and kissing them gently before shaking his head. “Still a no,” he said with a small smile, trying not to burst into laughter when Steve pouted and groaned sadly. However, a second later it seemed as if the other man developed a better idea, because his eyes sparked like fireworks and he suddenly beamed.

“I’ve got a plan!” Steve declared, shifting Tony off his lap and then stumbling upright away from the couch. He turned back around to look at Tony, and then a second later Tony watched in amusement as Steve tentatively dropped lower, getting to one knee. It took a few attempts for him to find his balance, and Thor had to help him in the end, but after about thirty seconds he’d gotten it, and he looked up at Tony with a huge smile on his face.

“Baby,” Steve began, leaning forward and resting his hands on Tony’s lap to steady himself, “you’re… real swell, you know that?”

Tony leaned back and bit down on his tongue so he didn’t burst out laughing. “Mmmm, really?” He asked, and then watched as Steve nodded vigorously. 

“You are the most awesome, kind… hot… kind guy I know,” the man continued solemnly, taking Tony’s hands and squeezing, “you make me pancakes for breakfast sometimes and I love you. And you’re really hot, did I- did I mention that? Like, Jesus fuckin’ Mary and Joseph, that ass. I love that ass. I love you.”

On the other side of the room, Natasha briefly turned away from Spanish Peppa Pig and pulled a face. “I’m sure we have done this before,” she said, but Clint threw a pillow at her and told her to shut the fuck up, so she just shrugged and turned back around. 

Tony could hardly keep a straight face by that point. “I love you too, sweetheart,” he nodded and then leaned forward to kiss Steve’s forehead. By that point, Steve had given up with the whole one-knee schtick, and was no simply kneeling at Tony’s feet and draping himself over his lap like a very large golden retriever.

“Will you, Anthony Edward,” Steve declared, sitting up as straight as he could and then looking Tony in the eye, “do me the honour of marrying me? I would love to love you forever. We’d be the best husbands ever. I think you should say yes.”

Tony was a good man. A kind man. And a devoted husband. But dammit, the opportunity was just too good to miss. 

Tony sighed dramatically. “Oh, Steve,” he said, lifting his left hand and then waving his fingers, “I wish I could, but I’m already married.”

Steve’s face fell like a tonne of bricks. He looked like he was going to cry as he said “oh,” very quietly and then looked down, his hand slipping dejectedly off Tony’s lap. 

And Tony could stand up in the face of the biggest, richest men on the planet and tell them where they could shove it, sure, but he could not last two seconds of Steve looking like that. Not even when he was wasted.

“Oh Jesus- Steve,” he said with a small laugh, taking the man’s face in his hands and tilting it back up so he was looking right at Tony, “sweetheart, I’m married to you. Remember? The big ceremony in Monaco that got crashed by mutant frogs? Then we went on our honeymoon to London and you fell into the Thames trying to take a picture of me. Ring any bells?”

Steve looked at him in confusion for a few moments, before the light dawned in his eyes and his mouth dropped open in delight. “Oh!” He said again, much happier that time, “oh yeah! So does that mean we’re already married?”

Tony could hardly stop laughing enough to confirm it, by that point. “Yes, baby, we’re married. Don’t worry. There’s no one else.”

Steve raised his own left hand, looking at it in awe. “Oh my God, we are,” he breathed disbelievingly, “this is… this is so fucking cool. I can’t believe I got to marry you! How did I do that?” He asked, “God, I’m so fuckin’ lucky. Oh, hey- let’s have sex!”

Tony’s mouth hurt from the size of his smile and he leaned in and kissed Steve’s warm cheek fondly. “I love you very very much,” he told Steve firmly, “but I am not dragging your ass up to our bedroom to have you attempt to get it up and then drunkenly fuck me until you fall unconscious half-way through. I have standards, darling.”

Steve sighed, leaning forward and resting his cheek against Tony’s shoulder. “S’pose that’s fair,” he muttered, “I am pretty tired. But I wanna… touch your ass. S’nice.” He looked up at Tony again with his deep blue eyes, so genuine and honest as he asked “please can I touch your ass? Just a little bit.”

Tony, for a moment, contemplated his life. But then he decided to just fuck it, and turned over on the couch, lying down across the whole length of it with his stomach facing the floor and his ass right by Steve’s face. “Go nuts, babe,” he said with a wave of his hand, “long as no pants are removed, I’m good.”

Steve hummed happily. And then a second later, his head slumped and his eyes closed, a small snore escaping his mouth as he fell immediately asleep, his face smushed up against Tony’s left buttcheek.

Tony blinked, looking behind him and then turning to the rest of the room, where the remaining conscious friends were all sat. “Has he seriously just fallen unconscious on my ass?” He asked with a wave.

Bruce rolled his head lazily, observing the situation from underneath his steamed-up glasses. “It appears so,” he declared a good five seconds later, before he rolled off the coffee table and fell to the floor with a heavy thump and a small ‘ow’.

Tony simply sighed, and then let his own head flop down on the pillow. “Remind me never to let any of you drink again,” he muttered as he closed his own eyes, “you quite clearly cannot be trusted.”

Against his ass, Steve snored loudly enough that Tony felt it vibrate up his butt. He wondered how this had become his life.

“God, I’m going to hate you in the morning,” Tony said quietly to his catatonic husband, looking behind him one last time and thinking of the terrible stiffness in his neck that he was going to wake up to. Steve didn’t respond, obviously- and Tony’s eyes found themselves drifting down, over to Steve’s left hand that was resting on the couch cushion. The gold band blinked back at him, and Tony smiled tiredly. 

Well. At least Tony knew that Steve still liked the idea of marrying him five years on. Although he was probably going to yell at Steve in the morning for forgetting he was married in the first place. Quietly, though. Because poor Steve was going to wake up feeling a little hungover, and Tony was a good husband who didn’t fancy cleaning up vomit. 

He sighed, shutting his eyes. Join the Avengers, Fury had said, you’ll be a hero, he’d said.

No. No, instead, he was a butt-pillow for his husband. 

Brilliant.

Donate to my kofi!

[okeuphemia]

More than words - Final

Chapter 13  |  Euphoria  |  masterpost

Hoseok x Reader

Angst. Fluff. ! WARNINGS ! adult language, mentions of sex and alcohol abuse, trust issues, abandonment issus, panic attacks, terminal illness (cancer). Read on AO3

He held your hand and smiled reassuringly at you. “It’s going to be okay”.

You smiled back. You knew it was true. You were ready.

Your boyfriend and you entered the dance room where the party was taking place. He placed a hand on your lower back as he introduced you to the first people you saw, which turned out to be a new makeup noona. She and two other girls were talking animatedly and they made you feel welcome. Hoseok was standing next to you, making small talk and smiling politely, eyeing your face from time to time, trying not to make it too obvious, when you both heard someone calling your name and you turned around slightly.

“Y/n?” Jimin was a few steps away from you, holding a cup. Yoongi and Namjoon, the ones he was talking with until he saw you, turned around to face you as well. You smiled shyly at them.

“Hi, Jiminie… it’s been a while”. Jimin’s eyes were round with surprise and a second later he was sprinting towards you, and engulfing you in a big hug, rocking you back and forth with his arms around you saying “I’ve missed you! I’m so glad you’re here!” You felt your throat tighten but you fought back the tears. Jimin was a dear person to you and the relief that washed over your body was palpable. Hoseok seemed delighted as well; he never let go of your hand, not when Jimin hugged you, not when Taehyung claimed it was his turn to do so, not when the others approached to say hi as well, not when you gave Jungkook the gift you had bought for him and he thanked you four times in a row. He stayed close until he was sure you felt confident and happy enough; only then he allowed himself to part a bit and navigate the party with his friends. Today was a happy day.

The evening was fun and exciting. Jungkook was beaming with all the love he was being shown and everyone’s mood was amazing.

When they ran out of champagne and Jimin started to threaten with doing a strip-tease if he wasn’t provided with more soon, you offered to go to the storage and get it. You knew the company building pretty well, anyway.

“I’ll help you” Yoongi said casually, making you pretty surprised as your boyfriend looked at him with caution.

“Oh… It’s not a big deal, I can…”

“I insist” he interrupted, with an honest smile. You couldn’t lie; the biggest fear about this day for you was the possibility to meet a cold, distant Yoongi and you would have hated that. So this offer, although it took you by surprise, was really reassuring. You smiled back at him.

“So…” He started, as soon as you were out of the room. “I don’t know if you like to be asked this bluntly, but, are you feeling well?”

“I am, actually” you stuttered despite yourself. You needed to calm down. Yoongi was a sweetheart, you couldn’t forget that. “The last treatment has been doing wonders. It will take time but… You know, the doctor is trying for me not to get excited to soon, but maybe… maybe this time it could work.”

“Really??” he asked, eyes wide with hope. It made you blush. How could you have been scared of this sunshine. “Oh that’s amazing y/n! I guess of course it’s too early to celebrate…”

“Haha yeah, I’d rather don’t do that yet” you laughed with honesty. “I already had too many disappointments with this. I’m trying to keep calm.”

“Sure, sure…” he mumbled as he crouched to lift the box with the bottles. It was too heavy, so you were thankful he came to help you. You grabbed a few bottles on your own as he carried the rest in the box, in his arms.

“You know…” he started.

“Hm?”

“I really admire you, for what you did.” That definitely surprised you. He continued, with his voice tense with the strength the task at hand required. “At first I was mad as hell, I assume you guessed that” he eyed you apologetically, with a shy smile. You nodded lightly. Of course you were expecting that. “It was hard for Hoseok, he was devastated for days. When he had that panic attack and we had to take him to the doctor…” he stopped himself when he noticed you had stopped on your tracks. You were frozen in your place, a few steps behind him, shocked. He realized what the issue immediately.

“Fuck. He didn’t tell you, did he?”

“No” you murmured, feeling your heart clench.

“Mmh, well, it’s in the past already, so don’t worry now. I’m sorry you learned this way… what I’m trying to tell you here is, he is not that strong, you know. And yeah, what you did hurt- and I wanted to kill you for hurting him that bad, but when I learned your reasons… damn.” He laughed breathily. “You faced all that by yourself because you choose to spare him that pain. Because he means so much to you that you didn’t want him to suffer more. And although I want to say I wouldn’t… I probably would have done the same thing in your place, you know. Prevent the nightmare.”

You were in front of the studio door. You faced Yoongi, but he had his eyes unfocused. As if he was somewhere else. And it was not hard for you to know where (or who) his imagination had taken him to. You opened the door to enter, but he continued.

“So… I’m sorry. For being that harsh with you at first.” He concluded, looking down.

You placed one of the bottles you were still holding on the floor and linked that arm loosely around his frame, in a weird attempt of a hug that he corresponded anyway.

“Thank you, Yoongi. For that and… for him. You are an amazing friend and I’m glad he has you.”

“You have me too” he said softly. “Just… Don’t do any other stupid shit like that from now on, okay? Don’t make me threaten your life because of Hobi again.”

You chuckled with humour. “Okay.”

The screams of joy of Jimin when he saw the alcohol could equal the sounds your soul was making.

 -

 “Did you have a nice time, love?”

You leaned on the doorframe of your bathroom with a smile, looking at your boyfriend who was brushing his teeth. He had already changed into some pajama pants, and he was shirtless. Eye candy at his finest.

“Oi didgh” he said with his mouth full, making you chuckle. “Yough?”

“I did too.” You entered the bathroom and stood behind him, hugging him from behind, caressing his chest and stomach. “You didn’t tell me you had a panic attack, babe”, you murmured against the skin on his neck. You felt him halt for a second, before he rinsed and turned around to face you.

“I didn’t.” He admitted. “I’m sorry. I was going to, in my defense. But later.”

“It’s okay.” You said.

“I’m okay, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know” you smiled at him and kissed him. He kissed you back, but he stopped you a few moments later.

“Did Yoongi…?”

“It was an accident” you defended him. “He actually wanted to said he was sorry. We are okay.”

He grinned and reached for your mouth. His tongue chased yours hungrily. He turned you around and lifted you until you were sitting on the counter. The rest of the night went smoothly after that.

 -

  Four months later.

 Hoseok was walking up and down the corridor. Up and down. Up and down again.

“Can you please sit the fuck down? You’re making me anxious.” Even when with his eyes closed, Yoongi could feel Hoseok’s quick pacing around, and it was getting on his nerves. He was worried enough on his own.

“No hyung, I can’t. You know I can’t.” he replied without even looking on their general direction, where the others were waiting with him; Taehyung resting his head on Yoongi’s lap, eyes closed, almost sleep, and Yoongi reclined on the plastic chair on the clinic’s waiting room. Yoongi eyed the exhausted figure of Taehyung before replying, being careful not to move too much. He smirked. The boy was exhausted, because he had spent the night up with the maknaes; but as soon as he heard Yoongi was coming to the clinic with Hoseok and you, he had been the first one to offer to go too. The others had decided to stay home and wait for the news. “Shit. I know. But you look like you’re about to faint and you need to calm down now.”

Hoseok was about to reply again (something of the kind “I can’t calm down stop with that shit already or make me”) when the door opened and you and your doctor exited the room. “Thank you, Mr. Park. Thank you, thank you for everything.”

You stopped. You looked at them, Yoongi and Taehyung half-seated with expectation, Hobi with his arms extended, like he was about to run and hug you but waiting for your reaction, for you to say something. You grinned.

“I’m okay.”

Everything paused for a second.

“You’re okay” Hobi repeated softly. A small smile began to form on his face.

“I’m okay!!” You yelled, running to his arms. Hoseok’s high screams and laugh resonated through the entire building. Through the corner of your eyes you saw Yoongi and Taehyung approaching to you, engulfing the two of you on a huge group hug, where everyone’s joy and tears got confused. Yoongi was the first one to break the contact, excusing himself to call Jimin to inform everyone of the good news; meanwhile Taehyung approached the doctor to bow in front of him with respect, thank him and ask him about the last details of the remaining of your treatment; things he assumed you both were too busy with other feelings to mind right on that moment.

Hoseok didn’t let you go; he held you tightly on his embrace, rocking back and forth with you, as if you were dancing a slow melody.

“I love you.” You said.

“I love you too babe.”

The guys were waiting for you. A night of celebration was ahead. Hoseok was by your side. You felt light, the happiest you’ve ever been in your life.

“Don’t cry baby. It’s a happy day, we don’t cry on happy days remember?”

“Hobi…”

“You have to promise me one thing though.”

You looked at him with curiosity.

“From now on, we are going to talk about everything.”

You laughed, nodding, and kissed him.

Everything was going to be okay. Hoseok could tell.

a/n: Thank you guys. This story was healing for me. For a long time I've wanted to tell about this specific situation. I also want to say sorry about the suspense on y/n's condition. In my defense, I have two aunts that passed away from cancer; so I knew, for the very beginning, that because I had the chance to save my character, even if it's fictional, even if no one really cares about it, I was going to do it. Because I needed the happy ending. Because everyone deserves a happy ending.Thank you for being with me all the way through this. I love you.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 70

Oof this chapter is a DOOZY!! From now on no more silliness, it's time to get down to business. We're in the endgame now. Are you prepared? >:D

(Oh btw a recent spoilery fish is in this chapter but like, not a huge spoiler I guess)

AO3

Princess Alya stood at the docks with Nino, knowing that her decision right here, right now, might change things forever.

“Are you sure you want to go back to school right now?” her mother asked her, glancing warily at the porters carrying the luggage aboard the ship. “The breakdown in order back in Europe recently has caused an increase in piracy, or so our reports say. The new airport will be ready in only a month, so couldn’t you just wait for that and then fly across the ocean? It would be safer.”

That much was true. But there was so little time left at school anyway, waiting an entire month wouldn’t be worth it when she could just leave now and make it back in time for lessons to start again. Not to mention, she knew from what Marinette had told her that Adrien was on his way back to school. She wanted to be there for him if possible. He would need the support of his friends if he truly was preparing to take on his father.

And there was also the matter of protecting Kim…

Of course, now that his country was part of the International Alliance, the likelihood of more assassination attempts was much lower. But according to his oracle session, there was going to be another timeline split, and one that would have bad consequences. If Alya couldn’t go back and protect him, and something bad happened, would that make it her fault?

“I’m sorry, maman,” she said, stepping forward to give Marlena a hug. “My mind is made up. There are things that I need to do at school, and waiting isn’t an option. I have to go back.”

“Fair enough. Take care, Alya.”

Alya nodded, then bent down to hug her sisters. “You two behave yourselves, alright? No mischief.”

They giggled, not paying any attention to her words whatsoever. Lucky them, still young enough to be carefree and blissfully unaware of the state of the world around them. She rolled her eyes and stood back up, turning to Nino now.

“Are you sure you want to come with me? You’re free to wait here until the airport is ready, you know. No one will mind if you come back to school late.”

Nino put a hand on her shoulder. “Alya, we’re in this together. I’m going with you.”

That was exactly what she had expected from him, and it brought a smile to her face. Nino was always there for her, wasn’t he? “Thanks, babe.”

“Before you leave,” Marlena said, “I have something to give you. Here.” She took a necklace out of her purse and put it into Alya’s hand. “If you have any trouble on your journey, press the button on it for help.”

Alya took a closer look at the necklace. It was orange, in the shape of a little tail, and had a button at the centre. “What is this? Where is it from?”

“A certain prince once visited and told me to give this to you when times got tough. Let’s just say… you did a favour for a member of his family a few years ago. This is a thanks.”

Really? Alya had helped out a lot of people over the years. How was she supposed to know exactly who this was from? “What will it do?”

“I don’t know. But hopefully your journey will be uneventful and you won’t have to use it.”

Yes, hopefully. Alya had sailed the Atlantic many times with no issue. Sure, pirates occasionally showed up, but nothing that a few warning cannon shots couldn’t dispel. All the same, it would be better to be more careful this time. Chloé had supposedly reduced funding to her empire’s navy, and this time the seas would be relatively unprotected and rife with banditry.

“Thank you,” she said. “We’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’ll see you again in the summer. I can fly back by aeroplane this time!”

“I look forward to seeing you again!”

They shared one last hug, then Alya took Nino’s hand and together they climbed aboard the ship, ready to set sail back to Bourgeois, back to their school, for the last time.

-

-

-

-

Kim was surprised to get a knock on his door quite early one morning. Who could that even be? Alix never woke up that early, Max was unlikely to visit again with trade shipments so soon, Markov’s knocks sounded more mechanical, Jalil tended to avoid Kim as much as he could these days…

Still in his pyjamas, he opened the door to see a familiar freckled face looking up at him. Oh – it was that foreign princess, the one who’d been at the peace conferences and the swimming pool! What was she doing here? The guards near the door seemed just as bewildered, judging by their curious expressions.

“Good morning, Prince Kim,” she said, curtseying slightly, only a little shorter than him. “They tell me you always wake up early so um… I thought I’d say hello. I mean, my family is on a visit and we were going to be officially introduced later in the day, but we’ve already met so that’s a bit pointless, so… um… can I come in?”

Kim nodded and allowed her inside, closing the door. He was half-tempted to ask what her name was, but would that seem rude? After all, she had remembered his name just fine. It would be embarrassing to admit he’d forgotten.

The princess ran a hand through her shockingly red fringe, so red it would put Prince Nathaniel’s hair to shame, and turned to face him with a smile. “I saw you at the pool the other day. Do you like swimming?”

Drat, she was probably silently judging him for being a bad swimmer, wasn’t she? Kim just nodded, not saying anything.

“Oh, that’s cool! I love swimming. I’m here for the International Games actually. I came a few weeks early to get in some practice before the events begin.”

Wait… so she was…

“You’re participating in the International Games?!” Kim asked. “Like, a proper athlete and everything?”

The princess was blushing a little, looking away and fiddling with her bangles. “Yeah! My island kingdom is well-known for swimmers, and my parents always encouraged me to get into it, so I did.”

“That is so cool.”

“Oh, thank you…”

She was blushing even more now, the freckles on her face really standing out. Kim hadn’t noticed before, but she had freckles all over her neck and shoulders too. The rather snazzy blue dress she was wearing didn’t cover them at all.

And yes, she looked like the kind of athletes Kim had always looked up to as a kid. Visibly big and strong, broad shoulders and muscled arms. A pang of jealousy hit him – if he hadn’t been at school these past few years, if he’d grown up in a diplomatic kingdom like all of these ones, would he too have been a good enough athlete to participate in international events? He had always been a great runner. He just hadn’t got the chance to prove himself.

“So, um…” The princess was smiling brightly, still looking as shy as ever. “I know you like sports too, don’t you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m an athlete too. I mean, I’m not participating in any events or anything, but I do like sports…” He trailed off, knowing everything he said sounded lame compared to a freaking swimmer champion princess.

“Well, would you like to come watch my event?”

“I wish I could, but I’ll be back at school. Sorry.”

Her face fell slightly. “Oh, right… Wait, how much longer do your holidays last?”

“Two weeks.”

She was silent for a few seconds, pondering something. Then she blushed again. “Um… Prince Kim? May I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course. But you can just call me Kim.”

“Ah, okay! Kim. And you can just call me Ondine, by the way.”

Oh yes – that was her name! Thank goodness she’d said it, since it was getting a bit too weird to ask now.

“So…” She looked down at her feet with those sea green eyes of hers. “This is a bit weird, but I wanted some advice. There’s this boy I’ve had a crush on for a while and I don’t know what to do…”

Usually Kim would not trust himself to be able to give advice, considering how reckless and ridiculous he knew he could be. But this? This was something he could handle. Royalty who were fully home-tutored usually didn’t get the exposure to romance that commoners did, and so didn’t pick up the necessary skills to make things work. School, however, had taught Kim all he needed to know about it. Maybe Ondine had guessed that, and that was why she was asking him.

“Who is this guy?” Kim asked. “Is he a commoner or something?”

“No, he’s a prince.”

“Oh, well then that’s easy. Just ask him out.”

“Ask him… out?”

“Yeah, like the commoners do. Ask him if he wants to go into the city with you on a date, or watch you swim, or go out to dinner or something. Or just straight-up ask him to be your sweetheart.”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh… no, not really. But if you really do love him, then you may as well tell him, right? Otherwise he might never know.”

“Yeah,” Ondine sighed, looking wistful. “Otherwise he might never know…”

“People can be super oblivious to love and stuff, trust me. You could be flirting loads and they might not even notice. So just be clear.”

“Mm…”

“And even if he’s not into you, you’ll find some other cute prince for sure.”

Giving advice like this was strangely fun. Perhaps it was just another way of showing off, really. Over these years Kim had had his fair share of romantic shenanigans, so in a way, he really did know what he was talking about for once. He had been into people who didn’t love him back, and he’d still managed to get himself a cute prince for a sweetheart…

Ondine cleared her throat. “Kim, thank you for your advice.”

“Hey, no problem.”

“I’m just going to go for it and ask.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“Okay…” She took a deep breath. “Prince Kim… I mean, K-Kim… I like you a lot, and um, do you want to be my sweetheart?”

What?

Kim was not sure he had heard right. But Ondine was staring hard at the ground, her face bright red, her arms folded in on herself protectively…

Well okay, he probably should have seen this coming. She had definitely been checking him out back at the peace conference, he knew that. And now suddenly showing up to his room, alone, blushing all the time, asking about romance? Come to think of it, this should not be surprising.

Kim ran a hand through his hair. “Um… look… that’s really sweet. And probably took a lot of guts to ask. And you’re pretty cool and everything. But… well, the truth is…”

“It’s Max, isn’t it?” Ondine asked quickly, putting a hasty smile on her face, though the way she sniffed and wiped a sleeve across her face betrayed her true feelings.

Kim was unsure whether or not to tell her. He and Max still tended to keep their relationship on the down-low, at least outside of school. The dreaded timeline split still hadn’t happened yet and he did not want to risk anything. Even if Ondine did seem to be a genuinely sweet person, someone who wouldn’t judge, someone who could keep a secret.

He made up his mind. “It’s not that. It’s just that, like, I don’t really know you very well. You seem cool and everything, you really do! But we’ve only met about twice, and I barely know anything about you at all…”

This was seeming oddly familiar. What was it?

Oh yes, Chloé…

Back during the very first days of school, Kim had given her a courting gift and hoped she would be his sweetheart. She had turned him down point blank and reminded him that he didn’t know her anywhere near well enough to do such a thing. He had never expected to be in the same situation again, this time on the receiving end.

But he was determined not to be rude about it. He knew how much the rejection hurt, and he didn’t want Ondine to feel the humiliation he felt back then.

“So it’s not personal,” he continued, trying to put a smile on his own face too, to lift her spirits. “You’re awesome and everything. But we haven’t spoken much, ever, so how do you know you really like me? What if I’d turned out to be a jerk? I mean, I’m not! But…”

“I know you’re not a jerk,” Ondine said quietly. “The reason I like you is because I saw your TV interview last year. You seem like such a… a hero. But I understand what you’re saying.” She sniffed again. “At least you still have two weeks here left, so in that case… would you like to get to know me better?”

Aware that she was probably still hitting on him, Kim amended his earlier decision slightly. “Listen, I’m gonna tell you a secret, and you can’t tell anyone. Truth is, I have a sweetheart already. So it’s better for you to move on.”

She nodded. “You’re right…”

“But that being said, I meant what I said about you being awesome. So yeah, I would like to get to know you better. We can be friends, right?” He held out his hand for a fist bump. Ondine smiled up at him, eyes sparkling with tears, and gently bumped her fist on his.

“That would be nice. Thank you, Kim.”

“No problem, new friend.”

“I think… I think I’ll go now…”

“Oh, well I’ll see you later!”

She turned and left. As soon as she was gone Kim let out a sigh of relief – he had just turned someone down. Rejected someone. Of course he’d done it before, with the occasional servant asking him out as a dare across the years, and that one time Marinette did it when they were much younger. But it was never serious!

Hopefully Ondine was okay…

Huh, was this what Alix had felt like way back when she had turned Kim down? Because in that case he got why she hadn’t done that in the other timelines. Rejecting someone felt bad. And he barely even knew Ondine! What would it have been like if they were already good friends…?

-

-

Later in the day he was indeed “officially introduced” to Ondine and her family, though there really was no point. Her eyes were a little red – had she been crying? She at least seemed to be very good at hiding it, putting on a sunny smile and acting cheerful. Predictably, her mood went up even further when she met Markov, who she had never properly spoken to before. Everyone always seemed to love that little robot no matter what.

“Would you like me to show you around?” Markov asked her as soon as the official meeting was over and everyone was allowed to disperse. “I have memorized the entire layout of the palace along with its history, and would love to have a go at being a tour guide!”

“Yes please!” Ondine said, genuine excitement in her eyes.

“Well then, follow me!”

Those two wandered off together. Kim grinned, turning to Alix. “You’ll never believe what Ondine did earlier.”

“Lemme guess,” Alix said. “She asked you out.”

“Wh… what? How did you know? Is this a stupid timeline thing again?”

“Yeah. In one of the other timelines – and only one – you turned up at my room earlier, telling me all about how some cute swimmer princess asked you out and you’ve kind of got a new sweetheart. So I guessed it must have happened this time too, except you turned her down.”

“Well of course I turned her down!” Kim clenched his fists. “Where’s the Kim that didn’t? Can I fight him?”

“Dude, how many times do I have to tell you that you can’t fight your timeline twins?! Anyway, it was the Kim from the poison chocolates timeline, so no, he’s not two-timing anyone.”

Just hearing the words poison chocolates sent a shiver down his spine. “I still wanna fight him.”

“But why?”

“Because what about Max?”

“We are talking about the poison chocolates timeline here. You know, the one with the poison. The poison in the chocolates. That poison. The one where Max…”

The one where Max died, well over a year ago now. It had been so long and yet it was still terrifying to think about.

“But…” Kim crossed his arms. “Isn’t the other Kim still sad, though?”

“Yeah, duh! But he can’t be sad forever. Max would hate that. So I guess he’s moving on.”

“Well I’m still gonna call up Max and tell him about this…”

“And he’d probably just say the same thing as me. Move on and make the most of your life. Have you ever had anyone close to you who’s died?”

Kim shook his head. “I guess there was my grandfather that one time, but I didn’t really know him…”

“Yeah, exactly. Trust the other Kim, okay? He still loves Max. But that’s impossible now, so he loves Ondine too. And that’s okay.”

“Hmm… I guess…”

“That’s the thing about us being royalty, isn’t it?” Alix mused, stroking her pet snake absent-mindedly. “It’s all about making the most of whatever stupid circumstances we’re in. It’s like being on a permanent balancing beam. And commoners don’t really have that so much. I do sometimes wonder, if we’d been commoners instead, if…”

She trailed off, looking away.

“If what?” Kim asked.

“Well.. um… it’s like how you ended up with Ondine in another timeline. If we’d have been commoners, in some other universe, and not have to think about rules or being sensible or whatever, in totally different circumstances… I sometimes get the feeling that like… us two might have worked out, you know?”

“Aren’t you aro?”

“Yeah, but we might have reached a balance…”

“Alix, you’re being really weirdly philosophical today.”

She whacked him on the arm with her sceptre. “Well someone has to be! What if the timelines split suddenly, and the bad ending happens, and I never get to say half this stuff? I’ve stopped caring if it makes me sound like a mushy weirdo at this point and you should too!”

Oh, that stupid timeline split. The thought of it kept him on edge, so anxious it was like he could never get a true moment of rest. “How are the other timelines?” he asked, not sure if he wanted to know. But he needn’t have worried.

“Surprisingly good. Like, all of them. I guess we just make the most of it no matter what bad stuff happens, right? The poison chocolates timeline has us moving on, and you’ve got Ondine too… in the exile one me and Adrien are on the way back to school to take back the throne… in the house arrest one you’ve stopped being scared of me because I got a bit nicer–”

“What?”

“Ignore that one, that one’s not important,” she said quickly. “But anyway, things are good. Though maybe that’s bad. Like the calm before the storm.”

“Why would you say something like that?” he snapped. “That’s so… ugh what’s that word… omelette?”

“Are you trying to say ‘ominous’?”

“Yeah! It’s ominous! So stop it. Let’s be cheerful from now on. You’re only allowed to say happy things.”

“Well then,” she said, smiling, “I’m happy that you’re my friend. And that it’s gonna be the summer soon, and we won’t have to worry about any of this stuff by then.”

“That’s better. And I’m happy you’re my friend too. No timeline split is ever gonna change that.”

As he said it, something else that Fu had said at his oracle session came to mind, something that dampened his spirits yet again.

“Timeline splits that so strongly affect people are rare, and yet they have been happening with frequency. Of course, there is a superpower that I know of that allows people to have some level of control over the splitting of timelines, and can therefore affect the fates of others, but such a power is extremely rare and I do not know anyone who has it…”

He hadn’t really thought about it much, not being able to take seriously the idea that someone could purposely be messing with his life like this. But now, for the first time, he properly considered it. Was there actually someone out there right now, who could cause the final split at any moment? Axe raised, waiting to drop it, not caring if Kim’s last moments were spent in endless fear over what was to come?

-

-

-

Over in Bourgeois, Chloé looked over a table map of her empire, a smile on her face. “Things are going well so far. The aid from the International Alliance has started coming in, and the commoners are already becoming more supportive of my reign. Though I’ve done some calculations and we’ll need to reduce the school’s funding even further to keep things stable, at least until the summer.”

“You may want to know,” Lila drawled, sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room, “I have intel from Sabrina.”

Chloé face lit up even more. “How’s she doing?”

“She reunited with her father in Raincomprix now that the bounty is gone, and the faction leaders see that she seems like she really could be a capable ruler. They are willing to implement a united council to run the country, of which she can be a part. Though she would have to relinquish her royal title, and her country would stop being a monarchy.”

“Oh, well I’m glad she’s alright and that things are improving!”

“Me too. Oh, and one more thing. The telecommunication lines in the school’s region are down. It’ll be difficult to contact them.”

“Right, right, we need to get that fixed.” Chloé frowned. “I suppose we’ll have to lay off some of the school guards to have the money for that. Now that there are far fewer students that shouldn’t be too much of a problem, should it?”

“Possibly. What if Adrien returns?”

“Well that would be risky for him anyway, guards or no guards.”

“I think I should let you know that he is indeed returning, right as we speak.”

“What?!” Chloé gasped. “He’s coming back to school?”

“Yes, he is. And if I know it, then his father undoubtedly has spies who have found out about it too.”

“But… but we already cut ties with Agreste, so Emperor Gabriel can’t do anything…”

Lila shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past him to try something. He’s angry, you know. Angry that his son keeps eluding him, angry that Bourgeois won’t support him, angry that the world won’t listen to him. He’s kind of on his last straw. If that breaks…”

She clicked her fingers.

“…he’ll snap.”

Chloé shivered. “And what does that mean for us? What does that mean for Adrien?”

“I don’t know. But it won’t be pleasant.”

“Hmm…” Chloé turned back to the treasury charts in front of her. “I… I suppose I won’t cut all the guards’ funding then. The telecommunication lines can wait a little longer, if Adrien’s safety is at stake…”

-

-

-

-

As Alya and Nino sailed across the Atlantic, most of the journey was uneventful as always. The crew were skilled enough to avoid storms, pirates, anything that could slow them down. Alya was just about allowing herself to get her hopes up, knowing that the port they were headed for was less than a day away now, when finally it happened.

She was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of cannons firing, shortly followed by someone banging on her door. “Your Highness! Please wake up immediately, there is an emergency!”

Alya leapt out of bed, put on her glasses, and ran over, opening the door to see a panicked-looking servant standing there wringing their hands. “What’s going on?”

“Pirates trying to board us.”

“What? When we’re so close to land?”

“It seems they’ve been patrolling the coast waiting for any rich-looking ships. If they find yourself or His Highness Prince Nino, they’ll no doubt hold you for ransom!”

There was a boom, followed by the ship lurching to the side for a few seconds. The servant fell right over but Alya managed to keep her balance, pulling the necklace her mother gave her out of her nightdress pocket. “I’m not having anyone hold me for ransom. I’ll wake up Nino, you go find us some weapons. We won’t go down without a fight.”

“Y-you? You’re going to fight?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Um, very well Your Highness…”

The servant scrambled upright and bowed quickly before running back down the corridor. Alya headed in the other direction towards Nino’s room. At the same time, she pressed the button on the necklace, wondering if it would even do anything. All it did was let out a little beep. Huh… how long would it take for help to arrive?

Nino was already awake when she got to his door. “Alya? What’s going on?”

“Pirates.” She took his arm and began pulling him towards the armoury. “And when we were so close reaching our destination, too.”

“Are they coming aboard?”

“Most likely. Pirate ships are lighter and faster than ours. Depending on how nice they are they might keep the crew alive and just plunder as much loot as they can. They’ll ransom us for sure when they find out we’re royalty, though.”

“What do we do?!”

“We get weapons and protect ourselves.”

There was another almighty boom, followed by a scraping noise. The ship listed aside slightly again, this time not returning upright. Shouts from the deck above were becoming louder. Alya tightened her grip on Nino’s arm and quickened her pace.

“Sounds like they’re already boarding us,” she warned. “Maybe you should stay below deck and out of the fight.”

“What will you do?”

“I’m not sure… I mean, our best bet of staying alive is if they know we’re royalty which would make us too valuable for them to kill, in which case we’d better stay here and go find our crowns to put on, but if we fight back then maybe we can drive them off and have a chance of making it to shore soon and get back to school in time…”

Before she could come to a decision, the door at the end of the corridor was kicked down, and a few unfamiliar, scruffy-looking sailors burst through. It seemed like Alya’s decision was made for her. She stood in front of Nino, fists up and ready.

“That one’s the princess!” one of the pirates said to their crewmates, pointing at Alya. “Look at her hair, it’s gotta be her!”

“Then who’s the one behind her? Is that a servant?”

“Nah, I think he’s the prince of Lahiffe. I read a magazine that called them sweethearts.”

“You can read?!”

“Shut up! Go capture them!”

The pirates ran down the corridor, chains in hand. Alya had never been in such direct danger before, even through her eventful life, and though she knew deep down that her shaky fists were no match for these hardened criminals, she was determined to make this as difficult for them as possible, especially considering that Nino’s safety was on the line here too…

-

-

She opened her eyes, something sticky and warm running down her face. What had just happened? Her vision slowly swam into focus. It seemed that her glasses had cracked, jagged lines running over everything she saw. It looked like she was on the deck, sitting propped up against the mast, the sunrise just coming up over the horizon. There, not too far away, was land! Visible land, so close you could practically swim there!

But she couldn’t get there from here, right now. Looking down, she saw chains wrapped around her, stopping her moving. Her head was heavy, and the top of it was stinging rather nastily. Had the pirates knocked her out? Was she – was she bleeding?

“Alya? Are you awake?”

Nino!

Alya craned her neck round to just about see that Nino was tied on the opposite side of the mast in the same way that she was.

“Nino!” she whispered back. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay! What happened?”

“I don’t know, I don’t really remember everything… I think the pirates hit us and then tied us up here, and… and our crew didn’t really make it…”

Alya looked back at the deck, realizing something. This wasn’t her ship. This was a different ship! The pirates had brought them aboard here!

And looking aside, she could see the remains of her old ship not too far away in the water, slowly sinking down at an angle, the flag in miserable tatters. And driftwood floating all around. How much of the crew had managed to get out alive? What had the pirates done to them?

The sound of heavy, clunking footsteps grew audible. Alya looked up to see what undoubtedly was the pirate captain looking down at them, a curved sword in hand and a bandana wrapped around her head.

“So, the little princess is finally awake! I wonder how much money we’d get for returning you to your family?”

“They’d arrest you,” Alya snapped.

“Oh, well then is there really any point returning you? We already took all the expensive stuff from your ship. You’re from Césaire, they’ve got backups for the throne. Maybe we can just bump you off, and all your worries will be over.”

Alya clenched her fists, trying to think of a way out of this, but her head was still so heavy. Surely it couldn’t end like this!

“Of course,” the pirate said, sneering, “you could always join our crew instead. We’ve got some ex-rich kids aboard. They help us navigate and stuff. You might miss the comfort of a good bath, but you’d get used to it. And you’d have freedom from your stuffy rigid life, right? What do you say?”

Join the pirates? As much as that sounded like some exciting childhood fantasy, it could never be a reality. Alya had a loving family, she had friends who cared about her, she couldn’t just run away from it all. She could never live with herself if she did that. Her life was in the world of politics, not aboard a deadly schooner.

Her head was spinning. Was this really the end? Should she join the pirates, just to double-cross them later and find a way out? How could she get back to school in time to help her friends? How could she protect Nino? And how much more blood could she lose before she would surely pass out again?

The pirate captain held the sword out in front of her. “Answer within the next ten seconds or I run you through, and your boyfriend’s next.”

“No! Don’t hurt Nino!”

“Then are you joining us?”

Nino’s strained voice could be heard from the other side of the mast. “Alya, no… don’t join them…”

“I don’t know what to do,” she mumbled, her head dropping again, dizzy now. “I’m… I’m sorry Nino…”

Was this goodbye? Perhaps it was. Either to her life as a royal princess, sworn to join a league of pirates now, or goodbye to her life in general, a sword through her front rather than the backstabbing she had always expected from her life of espionage.

Tears spilled from her eyes as they drooped shut, ready to fall unconscious for the last time before her life was taken away from her.

Then she heard the foghorn.

Her eyes snapped open. She looked up, but saw nothing.

“What…?” The pirate had lowered her sword slightly, looking around too.

Alya’s head was still spinning, but this sudden noise was enough to keep her from passing out for now. The noise grew louder, so loud she was sure she was losing her mind, so loud she could hardly see what was even in front of her, and the noise was changing, tone by tone, and becoming…

No way. Was that the sound of… an electric guitar?

She turned aside to see a huge ship slowly launching itself out of the murky water beside the pirate schooner, its giant sails shining bright and dwarfing everything else. The pirate captain, along with the rest of the crewmates on the deck, were stumbling back in surprise.

Was this what the necklace’s emergency button had summoned?

Or was Alya so close to death that she was just hallucinating the fact that a giant ship had just appeared from under the water with no prior warning…?

“It’s the Liberty!” the pirate captain whispered in awe. “So it is real…”

The Liberty?

As the guitar faded out, a sailor from the mysterious new ship leapt off and landed on the pirate deck, a huge sword strapped to his back. He wore a dazzling blue cape, and his black hair had blue tips, a style that seemed so familiar, though Alya was much too out-of-it to remember right now.

He unsheathed his sword and pointed at the pirate captain. “Another pirate causing trouble? No problem for me and the crew of the Liberty!”

Several more sailors from the Liberty leapt onto the pirate deck, their weapons out and ready to go. Their outfits seemed so bright, almost supernaturally so. Alya’s eyes were closing on their own again. What was even happening? Nothing seemed real right now.

Through the ringing in her ears she heard the pirate captain order an attack, and heard the clashing of swords and the occasional shot of muskets, action too fast for her to follow. Then she felt soft hands removing the chains that bound her.

“Your Highness! You’re Princess Alya, right?”

She forced herself to open her eyes again to see that guy looking right at her. He looked a little like someone she knew, but… who?

“I got your distress signal,” he continued. “The one that you sent with your necklace? I made it here as quick as I could. Come on, let’s get you out of here while my team deal with the pirates. You need medical attention.”

He took her hand and helped her to her feet.

“Nino,” she mumbled, pointing behind her.

“Prince Nino’s here too! I’ll go free him immediately. Hold on.”

Alya was not sure how she could possibly hold on with all this chaos surrounding her, with smoke and violence and more blood than she had ever expected to see in her life, but she managed to stay on her feet. Within a few seconds Nino was by her side again, his arm wrapped around her.

“Nino! Oh, we’re okay…”

“I’m glad your necklace thing worked! But… I think I might faint… or throw up…”

“Me too…”

The mystery guy lifted Alya up on one shoulder and Nino up on the other. “No worries. I’ve got you. You’ll be safe, I promise.”

With those reassuring words in her ears, Alya finally allowed herself to succumb to unconsciousness.

-

-

She woke on the sparkling deck of the Liberty, a bandage on her head weighing it down somewhat. Nino was stirring beside her. The mystery saviour was standing over them, smiling.

“Told you you’d be fine!” he said.

Alya sat up immediately. “Thank you for rescuing us. But we need to get to Bourgeois immediately.”

“What? You need rest!”

“I can rest when I’m back at school.”

“Me too!” Nino said, sitting up too. “I’m going with Alya.”

The mystery guy shrugged. “It’s up to you, I guess. The Bourgeois mainland is right here, we can put you ashore. But your school… it’s inland a bit, isn’t it?”

“How do you know where my school is?” Alya said.

“I… know someone who goes there. Anyway, if you’re leaving before we can recover your royal possessions from the pirates, you’ll probably have to take commoner transport to get to school. Are you sure you’re up for that?”

“Yes,” Alya said, her fists clenched. “I’m getting to school one way or another.”

“Wow. You’re unbelievably brave, you know?”

“I have to be right now. There’s more at stake than just my life right now.” She got to her feet, ignoring her spinning head. That was enough passing out for now! “Thank you for getting us out of that mess. I don’t know who you are, but I guess you don’t have time to explain, do you?”

“Just like you don’t have time to explain how my foghorn somehow started sounding like an electric guitar. It’s never done that before. Did you do that somehow? We all know some royalty have superpowers.”

Alya looked down. “Yeah, I… Fu told me I have the powers of… well, I didn’t think it would ever be useful, and I don’t know how to use them properly anyway, but apparently it did work…”

“Good thing you did it. Normal foghorn doesn’t usually distract pirates enough until the ship launches out of the water. At least an electric guitar confused them enough that they didn’t kill you before I got here.”

So she had accidentally used her powers? Well, that was a weird way to start it off. But at least she knew that they worked, now, even if she had no idea how to summon them again. Maybe she would figure it out in time. But time was something that she did not have a lot of right now.

“We’d better be going now,” she said, taking Nino’s hand. “You said you can get us ashore?”

“Yeah. Follow me.”

The mystery sailor led them over to an escape boat on the side of the Liberty opposite from the pirates. They climbed in, and he began lowering the ropes until they were in the water and floated off towards the not-so-distant shore.

“Good luck!” he called out to them as Alya used up the last of her energy to take the oars and start rowing them away.

“Thank you!” she and Nino called back in unison.

“No problem! And when you get to school, tell Juleka that Prince Luka sends his love!”

With that, he turned around with a swish of his cape and walked out of sight.

“Prince Luka?” Nino asked. “Was that guy a prince?”

“I guess so,” Alya muttered, still rowing hard, the shore getting closer and closer. “Juleka keeps her life and kingdom a mystery, but I did know she had a brother who declined to be heir to the throne or join the school. This must be him.”

“Whoa… he’s kinda cool, isn’t he? Seems like he has some kind of magic powers, what with that magic underwater ship and everything. And if he gave your mum that necklace for you because you helped out a family member of his one time…”

Alya was already thinking hard about that. “I only really did one helpful thing for Juleka though. Maybe it had a bigger impact on her than I thought at the time.”

“Really? What was it?”

She grinned. “I told her to ask out Rose.”

Nino grinned back, taking one of the oars and helping out. “Yeah, well Juleka and Rose started a revolution at school. Next we had Chloé and Lila, then Kim and Max, then Aurore and Mireille, and who knows who else…”

“You’re right! Max came out to his country, Alix did the same, I guess you must have at some point too, though so much longer ago…”

“People back home are chill, they don’t mind that much,” Nino said. “As Alix once put it: they don’t care if their prince doesn’t have a dick, so long as he isn’t a dick.”

Alya, exhausted though she was, had to chuckle. “Well, I suppose the ‘revolution’ was going to happen whether I was part of it or not. But Luka must be really grateful for me encouraging his sister. I’ll always remember this day. He saved our lives.”

“Yeah. He’s a hero. And now it’s our turn to go be heroes, right?”

“Right!”

They had just about made it to shore, the currents luckily helping them out. They hopped out of the boat, ignoring the freezing cold water around their ankles, and hand-in-hand made their way over to the beach. Finally, land! They had managed to make it across the ocean, even if not totally unscathed.

“Now we find the nearest train station and get aboard,” Alya said. “We should be at school by evening. You ready?”

Nino nodded. “Yep. I’m ready.”

“Awesome. Well then, let’s…”

She stopped, seeing something in the distance. It was hard to focus on exactly when her glasses were cracked so much. Out at sea towards the south were the Liberty and the pirate ship, still in battle, of course. But there, to the north, much further out near the horizon…

“What is it?” Nino asked, following her gaze out to sea.

“That ship,” Alya said, squinting. “It looks familiar… I studied different nation ship designs while we were aboard just in case we had any trouble, and I saw that one…”

“You can tell from here? Wow… you’re so smart…”

There was no time to blush at the compliment – she recognized that ship, and a rush of dread filled her. “Oh god – Nino, we have to hurry. We have to get to school as quick as possible!” She held his hand tighter and began pulling him along as quick as she could.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ll explain along the way – but we have to warn Adrien! As soon as we can!”

-

-

-

Imperial Prince Adrien himself reached school that evening, after a long, weary journey through the countryside. Oddly enough there was only one single guard stationed outside the school – but then again, that wasn’t all that odd considering how he had personally seen the state of the Bourgeois Empire as he travelled through it. If Chloé was using as much money as possible to fix the infrastructure, it made sense there would not be a lot left over for hiring school guards.

After showing his royal seal, the guard let him in and he ran as quick as he could, clutching Plagg in his arms tightly. It had been so long since he’d last been here! This familiar place! These familiar walls and gardens! Oh, how he had missed it! This familiar river that people called the “moat”, never mind if that was incorrect!

But things seemed different, too. It was mostly dark by now but he could tell. School would have started already today but there were no lights in the buildings. The rain was pouring down heavily and the river was raging, so strongly it could be heard easily from up here. The walls of the school were overgrown, the gardens unkempt, the very building looking ill.

Wow, Chloé really had cut the maintenance funding, hadn’t she…

Adrien continued into the building and ran through the corridors, looking for anyone he knew – Marinette, Nino, Alya, Kim, anyone he was friends with! He barely even passed any nobles, though they all stared at him in shock. Where was everyone? This place was so empty!

Then he heard a voice, one that filled his heart and soul with such sweet relief.

“Adrien! It’s you!”

There, up ahead, at the bottom of the staircase, sat Marinette. She leapt to her feet and rushed over, colliding with him in a hug so hard it knocked him to the ground. He didn’t even care – he hugged her back, so tightly, his face finally breaking into a smile, a laugh escaping him, after all these months of misery and silence.

“Oh… Marinette…”

“Adrien, thank goodness! You’re okay… you’re alive…”

“I’m fine! I’m so glad, oh Marinette I’ve missed you…”

“I missed you too!”

Plagg wriggled out of the hug, meowing loudly.

“And I missed you as well, Plagg,” Marinette said, giving him a stroke. Then she turned her attention back to Adrien, loosening her grip enough to help him to his feet. “Oh man, I’ve been here at these stairs since school finished today, waiting…”

Before he could even reply she kissed him, and for several seconds he forgot about everything else and how afraid he was, how much danger he was in. He had missed Marinette’s company so much, and now he finally had her back…

Eventually she pulled back, and he forced his brain back into order. “How… how did you know I’d be coming here?”

“Alix’s timeline thing. I know you have superpowers too, and that Plagg’s your guardian animal, she told me so. Is it true?”

He nodded. “It’s true. When I think negative thoughts, like… thoughts about my father… I can use my powers to destroy things. Though it’s kind of tiring.”

“I’ve got kind of tiring powers too,” Marinette giggled. “I can control luck. Or something. I’ve only really used it to beat Kim at Monopoly so far.”

“Oh, so Kim’s alright?”

“Yeah, he’s fine, he’s here! Though the school’s not really doing so well right now, is it? The electricity has mostly stopped working so it’s all dark and no one can charge their phones, though no one can use their phones anyway considering the telecommunication lines are broken, and even Markov’s on low power mode – oh wait, you’ve never met him, have you? Max made a robot called Markov, and he has emotions.”

“Uh… right…” That was a lot to take in right now.

“Sorry, I guess you need time to rest. That journey must have been tiring. What will you do now? Are you staying here until the summer holidays, or will you go back to Agreste and face your father? I’ll support you no matter what. With our powers combined, we can do anything, right? You can use your powers of destruction, and I can make sure you get lucky.”

What would he do? Honestly, he had not entirely been convinced that he would even make it this far. For several seconds he just leaned his forehead against Marinette’s, relishing in this brief moment of relative safety. “I… I should probably stand up to my father, shouldn’t I? It’s about time I faced him again.”

At that moment he heard a voice behind him, a voice he had not heard in years, a cold, icy voice that chilled him right to the bone.

The voice that had caused all his problems in the first place.

“Yes, Adrien. It is about time you faced me again.”