#what if perhaps. they're not making the same excuses every time but rather there's an underlying and persistent problem

[transgenderfivepebbles]

fun fact destroying someone's mental health does not make them more productive

[yandere-sins]

How'd you think Yandere luci and Yandere Mammon would deal with a S/O who's hiding the fact they're a virgin and is always trying to avoid intercourse by excuses like pretending to be asleep etc because they don't want to lose their virginity to them? (ALSO BTW, I LOVE YOUR WORK. like your work is super amazing and detailed <3 best yan writer)

Thank you for reading my writing!! I am so glad you enjoy it ^-^

And thank you for requesting! ♥

Warning: Yandere, Sexual Content

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Lucifer

♡ As if he doesn't know. You might be able to fool another human, and maybe someone as dense as Mammon, but you can't fool Lucifer. He had already noticed you shying away from his touch, the goosebumps and sudden tension that would go through you every time he touched you (rather innocently even). It's like you expected something to happen and are unsure how to react. Maybe you don't want it, perhaps you do, but your signals aren't very clear, and that makes him suspect you.

♡ He could blame it on some form of trauma that he doesn't know about, but he'd expect your reactions to be a bit more violent or fueled by rejection if that was the case. Instead, they are bashful and tense, with a taste of sweetness and innocence that Lucifer quite likes. And he caught Asmo giving you a knowing look once while you seemed even more hesitant to approach the 5th oldest brother; you made it much too easy for Lucifer to figure out what kind of game you were playing.

♡ So, he'll play along for a while since it's now in his control. You might not be a well-aged drop of lust yet, but delaying the inevitable is going to do you both well. Riling you up, getting you to let down your guard, and leaving you hot and bothered will benefit Lucifer greatly. Seeing your walls crumble will be enough to satisfy him for a while, so he won't have to put his hands on you prematurely. You may simmer on the knowledge that he'll take your virginity at some point, be sensitive, and get confused at times over his actions. Maybe even fantasize what it'll be like. Will he be rough? Gentle? Ease you into it or brutal steal your innocence like he did with your freedom? Letting your thoughts and desires run wild, no matter how much you want to deny them, will almost guarantee that once you are ready, you'll be at a point where you'll crawl to him, begging for release. And Lucifer likes that idea very much.

♡ Things he'll do to chip away at your defense include but aren't limited to spooning up against you at night, his cock perfectly pressed against your body but not grinding against you. Just letting you know it's there and ready for you and allowing you to get used to it but never letting you scoot away. The same is true with his hand placement at night, his palm at your lower abdomen, just resting there, and his fingertips slipping beneath your clothes to leave feathery trails of allurement. So close yet far enough away, teasing, playful, promising. The warmth it emits seeping into your body, heating you up, only for him to retract and leaving you hanging. Sometimes, his fingers will play with your clothes, letting you know just how agile they are. Your mind will do the rest as you can imagine the chaos and pleasure they can leave in their wake. He wears human pheromones suited to your taste, and he'll flirt with you, complimenting you even when you feel vulnerable, letting you know how receptive he is to taking the next step. It's only a matter of time until you cave, but Lucifer will do everything to make it the hardest few days of your life.

Mammon

♡ Mammon is indeed a little dense. He might feel a bit off-put if you reject his advances repeatedly, but he doesn't see anything wrong with it the first few times. There is absolutely no subtlety in his advances, his kisses bordering on orgasm-territory already when he's in the mood, his hands greedy as is fitting for his title. You might be forced into these affections, but even you can't help but squirm beneath him. It only gives him more incentive to take it up a notch when he's just so passionate, your lips constantly bruised, and your neck marked by his teeth.

♡ So it becomes very frustrating and confusing for him when you kick and scream the moment he gets a bit more intimate. He'd like to respect your choice despite him not giving you one when it comes to whether or not you'll be with him for the rest of your life. Mammon likes to think he's gracious like that. But he thought you two were on the right path to taking the next step, yet you keep rejecting him. To be fair, he's been very clear that he wants you for a long time: Grinding against you, fondling your body even though he should be concentrating on other things. You've caught him jerking off next to you, moaning your name quite a few times even though you pretended to be asleep. And if that isn't clear enough, he's been nagging and sometimes even begging on his knees for you to give him some of that sweet body of yours to fuck. You've rejected him all the same, so for Mammon, it hints at something being seriously wrong, but he can't quite figure it out himself.

♡ It takes some... advice from more experienced individuals for him to come to a conclusion. Levi thinks perhaps he smells bad, Satan questions why anyone would want to be with Mammon in the first place, and Beel asks if maybe you're too hungry for any of that stuff and if Mammon fed you properly. But hey, at least Asmo is useful, hinting at the possibility of you feeling... insecure. Maybe you're too "inexperienced" (Mammon vehemently denies the possibility of you being a virgin, cause duh, look at you! Stunning, gorgeous, and he will totally kill anyone who touched you before him, but clearly, with how seductive and sexy you are, he can't possibily your first). So Mammon deducts Asmo is right; you're just nervous because you'll be with a great guy like Mammon!

♡ Worry not; he decides to show you the ropes! ... Literally. You might stutter and reject his ideas of getting close and personal, but Asmodeus had a handy bag of goodies for Mammon before he left. Even though Mammon is at his limit, he tries to keep it together for you, tying you up and making you watch him jerk off, reciting all the things he wants to do to you, how he'll do it, and showing you how insane you are driving him. There won't be any more nights to hide away after that, as Mammon will demonstrate to you exactly how worthy you are to lay with him. But at least he'll ease you into it, that's something, right? You'll get the full 7 hells of orgasms from his mouth to fingers to toys. Forcing you to rely on him as he takes away your senses, like sight, and the freedom to move as you please. By the time he finally gets to wet his cock on you, you'll be already too well-fucked to care, and if that isn't devotion, what is?

[lurkingshan]

Every You, Every Me

Story 3

A mechanic! Not my Last Twilight trauma

Actually, now that he's stood up and I see this black tshirt and coveralls taken halfway down, his look is more Payu than Mhok

HE'S COMING TO ME

Okay listen, who put these mismatched hair extensions on this boy I just wanna talk 🔪

FIAT!!! I missed him

I continue to recognize but not be able to place most of the background music in this show, it's driving me nuts

What's with all these March 19s... no way

Are you telling me he's been stalking this kid at the graveyard for years on his mother's death anniversary? And he asked the mom’s dead spirit to bless their union before he even talked to him?? You a weirdo for this, X

He's never even talked to him all these years but he says he likes him. Love at first sight, I guess. "His mismatched hair extensions have bewitched me body and soul"

Btw why has this kid Namping had the exact same haircut for so many years, seems unlikely

I have no theory on the significance of their family members changing universe to universe but I am noting it

Does the little brother get a side romance in this one? They have two whole eps this time they're getting ambitious

This Bad Buddy style phone flirting across the balcony/window is very good

There's a real ominous vibe happening here, something is def going on that we don't know about

Well, that sure was a wholly unnecessary full body lift 😏

I think I would have preferred they use the time to go deeper on the main pair in this story rather than squeeze in a side couple, but this is a Thai BL, so

Something very charming about X getting excited and hitting his head on the undercarriage of the car

The extensions look better in this almost kiss scene god bless (btw that was mean, Namping)

The chemistry!! When they let them flirt these two are excellent

Hmmm Namping is P' here, but he def wasn't older in the last story, what does it meeeeeeean

"Stop asking" boy what are you hiding

Sexiest back hug of all time in BL?? Perhaps

Man, what the hell happened to Namping? Crying during sex and then disappearing on X and sobbing as he leaves. Why can't he tell X what's going on?? (and also me, please tell me). This all feels really needlessly cruel and I am struggling to imagine a scenario that would excuse it.

Welp! Ton showing up after a time skip alone, wearing all black, carrying a box sure doesn't bode well

The way they are dragging this secret out has officially become irritating. Just say what the fuck is going on.

Well, at least Namping knows he's a coward. Ffs. I cannot imagine how he justified leaving X in such an abrupt way, telling him nothing, leaving him waiting, knowing he will never come back. A terminal illness is not a good excuse for what he did to him, especially because his supposed reason was not wanting to be selfish. But his choices here were far more selfish and cruel than telling the truth and staying to be happy while he could.

This show is not really what I expected based on the way people talk about it. It's not all that light, for one. I've heard it described as being a fun speed run of fanfic tropes, but it's pretty dramatic (in the sense of dealing with heavier themes), and this last story at least was very melodramatic. It's the kind of maudlin terminal illness plot line you'd see in a decades-old drama. I guess that's the idea? We're just running through classic tropes, including some that have been all but retired. I still don't know if or how these different universes are meant to connect, or what to make of these characters. Should I view each iteration as separate from the ones before, or am I meant to think of these as the same souls repeating lives? It's interesting for sure.

[lloydfrontera]

this is like. so non-important compared to all my other grievances with the webcomic but like. the reasons kim hyunsoo gives for changing javier's hair from silver to mint. lol. lmao even.

they're so,, lazy,,,,

that sounds like a skill issue my dude :/

i mean the novel illustrations did it perfectly well imo

'but nali' i hear you say 'those are novel illustrations, where there's only one drawing per chapter. of course it's more difficult to do in a webcomic'

and sure. you're right. it's very different in a webcomic. in fact i am almost certain that no webcomic has ever had a protagonist with silver hair.

not a single webcomic ever has done that before. truly. a completely unrealistic expectation to have.

really it's not like silver hair is one of the most popular tropes in manhwa and almost every other webcomic has one of those

clearly. this was a completely impossible thing to ask of an adaptation. it's not like it's one of the most iconic parts of our protagonist's design. it's not like it's mentioned almost every single time javier is onscreen.

really. what a truly necessary change.

which. speaking of.

now, correct me if i'm wrong. but shouldn't your deuteragonist, the very first character your character meets, your second main character's design,,, more important than a secondary character that isn't introduced like,,, more than a hundred episodes later???

like. i don't think we even get told what color lloyd's hair is. but god does the novel mention that habiel has silver hair every five minutes.

i'm sorry i just think that if you're gonna adapt something the very least thing you could do is try to be faithful to one of the very few character descriptions we ever get! especially that of your goddamn main character!

how come a secondary character takes precedence over him?? why not change that character's hair color then???

and even then. if your character design skills suck so much that two characters having the same hair color is enough to make them look too similar perhaps there's a bigger problem here.

i just,,,, i am almost certain i know what character he's speaking of. maybe even two characters. hell maybe even three. but fucking guess what. the webnovel illustrations already did designs for those characters. it gave them all silver hair. and there was No Issue at all because their designs were so distinct from one another that at no point was there any doubt of who was who. because that's what good character design is about.

like. that's such a stupid reason oh my godddd if you're gonna pull that bs then what's your excuse for all those other characters with brown hair. are you not worried they're gonna overlap because their hair color is the same. i mean you made silurian's brown hair darker so now it matches like 90% of your background characters. do their design not overlap like that.

i'm just!! it's such a stupid thing to get mad about!! especially when there's far more egregious changes being made but like!! it just,,, it shows the kind of attitude the people adapting tged into a webcomic have towards the source material

it's not about the hair color. i mean it is but there's more to it. it's about how the artists feel comfortable disregarding parts of the novel and canon because it's more convenient to them. it's about how they prefer to focus on unimportant stuff that gets them a few laughs rather than put a little bit of effort into getting their characters right. it's about how they waste entire panels into making ugly faces and repetitive jokes rather than take a bit of time to get the hair color of their protagonist correctly.

it is,, disappointing i guess :/

and because i'm petty. here.

that's literally it. that's all kim hyunsoo had to do. it's such a tiny detail and yet. couldn't be bothered to get it right lol

[jacensolodjo]

I really need people to stop with 'Russians gave up protesting after being knocked down so often'. Or any other variety of 'poor Russians'.

Like do you HEAR yourself? Do you even have an IDEA of how stupid that is? Yes, everyone has their breaking point but not an entire population.

What you are describing is more accurately "anticipatory obedience". By claiming defeat before you even start, you show the people who shouldn't have power how far they can go. A lot of these groups don't start out going 'hell yeah we're so badass we're so strong no one can stop us we're going to pull out all the stops ASAP'. They're going to be gradual. And it is the population's choice to push back or to just live life on their knees.

No group is powerful enough to suck the strength out of a population the moment they appear.

The NKVD is considered as bloodthirsty and murderous as they are because they executed nearly a million people in the time they were an entity. They chose to do it. They executed people face-to-face through their own initiative. Wanna know how we know? Because they'd shoot people in the street at the slightest provocation. Sound familiar? Yeah, Russians have been doing it again in Ukraine, just full on executing innocent civilians for no reason whatsoever. Even ones in surrender pose.

You get knocked down you get right the back fuck up again. Russians decided en masse they liked the new status quo. Russians hate that Ukrainians don't.

The West called Ukraine the 'most corrupt nation' but I guess they weren't paying attention to Ukrainian response to said corrupted government: it's called Euromaidan. And indeed, how could it be the most corrupt when you literally have Russia right the fuck there anyway? Every election is bought. Russians continue to love the status quo.

They just don't like it being brought up. They don't like being named guilty. They would rather make excuses than do anything remotely useful. To say nothing of their 'supporters' (seriously how do you continue to support a group like this at every opportunity but revile any other group who does the same shit? How do you sleep at night?)

Ukrainians fixed the problem of a corrupt leader. And, hey, so did Americans. Big Orange got ousted at the next election.

But where is Putin? Still in power. Sham election or not, there are other ways to overthrow leaders. Ukrainians showed Russians the way. But I guess Russians left their pen and pad of paper in their other pants.

Putin has been in power since 1999. Russians have had 2 1/2 DECADES. That doesn't happen unless you're really comfortable with the status quo. And don't give me 'but the USSR lasted--" there's a real big difference between gov't and leader so please. Or, perhaps more importantly: Russians have a history of being comfy with the status quo. They have been butthurt since 1991 when Ukraine declared independence. Because, again, Ukraine shows the way but Russians leave their note taking tools elsewhere.

Easier to die mad about it than to do something constructive, I guess.

[lesslie-sass]

Here's my advice

Stop being sexist against your own sex, and go get some therapy for several things

No rational human being wants you dead

But you do really like to be terrible and make yourself the victim

But I don't condone people telling you to off yourself

Grow a spine and realize when you're insulting people like me that have to deal with mental dissorders too. You're not the only one

Or perhaps simply move communities so you don't have to deal with people that have proper media literacy and a want to respect people with mental disorders. Either works

Again, obviously no rational human being wants you to die and no one should ever tell you to. But we don't want to deal with your shit if you're being sexist and ableist. Stop being an absolute hypocrite

Jeez, put your hate boner away, I can feel it from another continent

First of all, just because I don't wanna excuse female character's terrible behavior doesn't suddenly make me a "women hater" like you want to see me as, I don't care what gender Uzi is and still would've thought she's annoying brat. For the "ableistic" shit, as again, mental problems doesn't excuse terrible behavior, acting out only makes situation worse and people around either annoyed or creeped out (like Uzi's classmates but I guess their feelings don't matter near your gothic waifu) and for your "she's heavily implied to have BPD, PTSD, autism, etc." I have one small question - did Liam or Glitch officially state that Uzi has any of those? No? Then shut up about your headcannons, or rather delusions and projections, that has no ground to be used as argument.

Playing the victim, huh? Oh sorry, how dare I be openly upset about getting dogpiled and hated for my opinion that others, you as well, could've easily ignore. That people got butthurt I wasn't backing down and destroyed my reputation in return, blocking me, spreading how terrible I am, how wrong and toxic I am, encouraged others to do the same. You didn't need to do this, but you did and encouraged it anyway, not carring that I have problems, that I may not be doing great irl, that I actually might've had something to do with myself, only because you couldn't just move on. Just because fictional character and ship getting shitted on was more important in your eyes, compared to me who didn't harrass or insult anyone directly, you have fucked up priorities.

I had every right to get you all to fuck off, when you didn't wanna listen to any of my points AND ignored Lizard literally wishing me to die, or even someone close to me to die. You just want to have some kind of "enemy" of the fandom, target those who's vocal about their negative opinion about MD and make fandom bring them down and tier them apart, to feel better that you "defeated" them and saved the fandom from such "toxic" individual.

And who the hell are you to tell me or anyone else if they should leave the fandom? That "you" don’t wanna deal with my shit, when it's not even directed at anyone directly? Or is it more like "we accept you the way you are, cringe and free! ...until you have different opinion than we do"? Like the same thing with VanityMoth, with people like you invalidating his opinion that happened to be the one you don't agree with and making him this big asshole who's terrible and should just shut up for good. (I use him as example for how this isn't one time accident with me, I may not agree with every point he makes or his behavior, which might as well got worse because of huge hate he got, I speak here only for myself and how this kind of situation was towards me) It's not that people think you can't handle criticism, it's that you clearly show you can't.

AND...

Why I should ask anything from this person, who was all to happy to add fuel to the situation and clearly doesn't like me either? Heck no, they're in my block where they belong.

And therapy is expensive btw and with your creepy ass obsession towards me you need it more, perhaps in good place like Mount Massive Asylum OR perhaps listen to your own advice and leave me alone

[fabricated-misslieness]

𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕷𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘 Chapter 20: a Hero Never Rests, and Neither Does a Villain

Hero Kaeya x Villain male reader

Summary: Every story comes to an end, no matter how sad or happy.

Word Count: 3,629

Mayb’s notes: blurred lines is supposed to not make sense sometimes btw

The King holds another ball under your name. It is a celebration for the cure, your dangerous journey (that which could've ended in sacrifice), and life. Specifically, the life of a party. He loved a good party. He simply needed a reason to hold one. You could sense that you would become a reason more than this one time.

While the first celebration was more of a formal dinner than a ball, as he catered to your needs and kept you "entertained", this one was a real ball; one that he loved to engage in.

So he did. And he beckoned you to do so as well.

Who were you to refuse, if it was just an excuse to dance with Kaeya again?

Yours was an old love, renewed again. Any excuse was a valid one when it came to him. Kaeya could say the same thing.

He stares into your eyes, through the windows into a lovesick soul that mirrors his. The action is rather intimate for such a precarious dance, one prone to leading to several bruises.

Try as you might to dance with elegant charm, your feet did not agree with your intentions.

With each stumble, each fall onto the hard floor, he'd only laugh, and so would you. Kaeya had come to love you, come to look past your flaws and your two left feet.

On your end, there was nothing to look past.

<✦>

After a night of fun, work always followed.

Kaeya hooked a finger under your jaw. His remaining fingers pressed against your lips. You pushed an eager kiss into his skin.

"Are you sure you don't want to join the Knights again?" He tilts your head up, clearly pleased with how you let him do so so easily. "We could sure use you."

"The scorn they hold may be hidden, but still clear as day."

He watches intently with his good eye as you drag a finger down his other arm and hook it around its wrist. His fingers follow his own hand as you bring it up to your lips and press a kiss to it too.

"Perhaps, just like Eula, you and I can make that change."

"There are a lot of things even you can't change, my love."

<✦⋆✦>

Without his touch, his guidance or his presence, there were many things you forgot. The palace, for one, seemed like nothing you or anyone deserved. Some days you roamed its halls, unaware of their luxury or their tiles so clean you could use them as a mirror. There was hardly anything for you to do. So you roamed aimlessly.

Some days you thought yourself to be in a forest, though your mind could never recreate one so perfectly. You were curious as to why this forest lacked life. It was absent of birdsong and leaf dance, or simple ant trails along the dirt. Curiosity sparked a search, as it always seemed to.

Footsteps, you hear. They're sharp, much too sharp for the soft, grassy floor and or paths laid into dirt.

Their source comes closer faster than you can react.

A man around the corner approaches. He wears a full set of armor. A knight turned bounty hunter? Or perhaps a knight sent after you for someone you killed in his Kingdom. You couldn't keep count of your victims anymore.

You raise a hand, incantation on your tongue.

"Woah, hey!"

Steel turns to velvet and armor to robes; mud and bark to tile and marble. The man before you is no knight. He thinks himself to be hundreds of thousands more than a little knight. He's the King himself, and you roam his palace. How you managed to get yourself in such a spot of trouble was a question to be answered later. For now, killing a King wasn't beneath you.

"Something get on your nerves today, big guy?" The King asks. "Your hero time finished, now?"

No King could speak so informally like that. Not only that, but he also seemed to know you. What King knew you? None other than Hanz. He was scared, of course, but he'd learnt well to hide it. You shift your stance back to normal and he breaths again.

You wonder how much longer Hanz could keep you his dog. Tamed, and living off of his merits.

<✦⋆✦⋆✦>

You didn't know what to call it. Hallucination was a good word, but you couldn't accept it. You were healthy, you ate well, you rested well, now more than ever. So why were you so delusional? It had no reasons.

Either way, if you were dreaming of the forest, a trip into the wilds would probably be a good remedy. In fact, it proved a better breather than the simplicity of a cure such as Kaeya's presence.

While he was away, his righteous heart leading him into his knightly duties, you mounted a horse and began a descent into the woods.

The wind felt like Gaia's call, a welcome back. It carried with it the melodious chirping of birds and the rush of a water's fall you'd missed so dearly. Her wind flowed past your face, brushing your cheeks with loving touch and pushing your hair in an unorganized way.

You had missed this, missed her embrace. How could you allow yourself abandon her for more than a moment? The effects separation had on you were already so daunting.

Breaking through the sounds she carried to you and the peace of her being were those of the animals around you. From a distance came steps to your experienced ear: animals, a deer probably, from afar.

You could imagine it, lifting its feet off the sticky mud of the floor. The mud on its hooves would wash off as it stepped on the river bed, and then the deer would drink. It was lonely, though. No mate, no family. Much like you, once. But were you lonely? Hadn't you thrived off of solitude?

The deer was a reminder that animals could live and flourish alone. Humans could do the same. You had once done the same.

It was tempting to leave Mondstadt. The idea of never coming back wasn't far from your reach. Much as you'd slipped from the palace grounds unnoticed, you could disappear just the same.

It was a cruel departure, though. You were ill-prepared for journey. And, even if you tried not to think about it as hard as you could, how could you leave without a goodbye?

<✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦>

It was always wrong time with him. But, unequivocally, he was the right person; which is what makes saying goodbye so difficult.

Kaeya is the man you love with all your heart. In your eyes, he possesses all the beauty in the world. His smile lights up your view and his laugh raises your spirits. The more you sung his praises, the more you loved him.

But the things he wanted, the goal he'd set for the rest of his life, they didn't line up with yours. He wanted to stay in Mondstadt, protect it from all evil, die within its walls. The City of Freedom had grown to be his home. It couldn't have been farther from the truth, eight years ago. After his fight with his brother, his departure from the Winery for forever, the people gossiped. They named him foreign. But he'd gained their trust again, and through his years of duty, he'd come to love the city again.

So, if you were to think of him, Mondstadt, and home, you were simply missing a sense of patience.

Mondstadt's freedom, however, was more of a prison to you. After spending such clear moments of your life travelling the world, freedom came to you in Gaia's hold. Mondstadt's cold stone walls were so far from what she gave you, what she could give you. You wanted her to hold you forever.

Out there, though, you were still wanted. Your crimes were only pardoned in Mondstadt. It was a hard point to push past, but it was fragile. You knew it would one day become so weak that the sight of your true home would break it.

You loved Kaeya more than most things. But, harsh as the thought may be, you loved some things more.

Perhaps you would never get your happy ending.

<✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦>

Agreeance came after all you needed to do within the day was done. It was made over a meeting table of dark, stable wood. It was made with a calm demeanor and a mindset screwed on that everything one said was possible.

Agreeance came from mutual benefit.

But, right now, the day continued.

"I... don't want to stay in Mondstadt."

There wasn't anything to hold you back. Not an arm's length between you to give either of you time to process a set of words.

And here, it was emotional.

Though you could only be certain of his curiosity as he speaks a "Why?", you're sure he's entirely adverse to the idea.

How could you put this lightly? "The city is not my preferred environment, so to speak."

"So to speak." He deadpans. "There's something more, I know it." He had always been good at reading you. "So tell me."

"It's about Mondstadt." You begin hesitantly, "The city is your home, I don't want to speak ill of it."

""Your home?" Is that how you think of it?" In asking for his permission to speak truly, you had already given away your thoughts. "Is Mondstadt no longer your home?"

"I–" There was no other way to say it. You knew that immediately. Searching for a way was unnecessary. "Kaeya, it hasn't been my home for eight years. Nieblina was hardly a substitute, even."

"So what is home, then?" Though he poses a question, he doesn't let you answer. "Is it the wilds? A secret home in Fontaine? (y/n), what could your home be? The–"

"You are." You interrupt him. The words render him speechless. "That's why I ask."

There's always one thing people can say–well, two–when they are speechless, and that is a word even crueler when its precedent isn't even considered. "No."

<✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦>

The second ball this month held under your name is more bitter than the last.

The King danced, mingled with his high-standing nobles in homewrecking dances. He beckoned for you to join the dancefloor.

Who were you to refuse, if it was just an excuse to dance with him again?

Though it was old, though you fought, though you found something to look past, yours was a love renewed with a fierce fire. This excuse was as valid as any to bring him into your embrace.

He stares into your eyes, through the misty windows into a restless soul. The action is rather intimate for such a bruising dance. His hold on your shoulder was gentle, and yours on his waist just the same, but your tendency of tripping over the smallest of things during the most delicate of moments kept the injuries coming.

Try as you might to dance with a purposeful charm, your feet did not agree with your need to keep the night serene.

With each stumble that led onto the cold, hard floor, he'd only laugh, and so would you. Kaeya had come to love you, and tonight he would look past the day before, just as you would.

Ignorance could only last for so long. Love could only hide so much.

<✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦>

You were the love of his life. He could do anything for you. There was one thing he'd shout into the world, even if all may hear, and that is that he would do anything for you.

But if Kaeya was anything, it wasn't truthful; and some things in life, he loved more. He didn't dare acknowledge it.

And if this kept on, tender mornings of hesitant departure would eventually lead to wordless goodbyes, affection shared would turn to nothing. You were absent from his side, today. You were already well on your way to undiscussed silence.

He sought you out, then, in hopes of mending things.

When he finds you, you've pressed yourself into the corner of a window seat, staring sidewards into the horizon. The sun has long made way for the night and sequentially, abandoned the skyline, but you still kept your eyes to the horizon. Now, the moon rose high above the other side of the palace, accompanied by thousands of stars you pay no mind to.

It seems you notice him before he can announce his presence. "When Mondstadt wanted me to be their villain, I did as they wished. Now that they want me to be their hero… I can’t stand it."

Kaeya takes a seat beside you. "You are a hero, you know. We put an end to a plague together." He cups your cheek with a comforting hand and brings your eyes to stare into his.

"A hero's not what I want to be." You draw back. Kaeya thinks it looks like you're shrinking in on yourself.

"What you want doesn't shape who you are." He says, a desperate attempt at matching your pace of speech. His words are wise regardless, but your stance remains unchanged.

"My past shapes who I am." You move away from him, pushing his hand away from you for what is probably the first time in your life. "I've done so many terrible things—a retribution such as this hardly helps it."

"You've killed many." He moves to reach out, then realizes it's probably best not to. You can see it in his lips pressed together, regardless of the distance, that the truth is hard to swallow. "But the cure will save more."

"What I have done will never outweigh what will happen." You'd long since known it, but saying it out loud was not pleasing. "None of the countless people whose lives I've taken will care for what I've done. If I were one of them, given the chance to be reborn as a vengeful spirit that only lives to kill me... I'd probably take it."

"You're too harsh on yourself–"

"You're not harsh enough."

Kaeya thinks, as you leave, that maybe you two weren't meant to be happy after all.

<✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦>

Such depressing thoughts can only last for so long. He said it himself, that he would do anything for you, and though where some things he wouldn't, those weren't in question at the moment.

He already hated how you slept so far from him on the other side of the bed. He hated how the "I love you"s returned didn't feel so genuine and energetic as they'd once been. He hated how you looked sickly pale. Most of all, he loved making you happy, and he was failing at that recently.

He knows, the night you don't come to bed, that he has to act. So he sets up a little plan.

The next time he sees you is at that window seat. It had come to be your favorite. The day was over and stars had allowed themselves to be seen in the sky. Each star formed a constellation—they were simply unnamed. He knew that that was happening between you two. He couldn't name it, what was going on in your relationship right now. He didn't need to know, not yet. He just had to mend it.

He sits down next to you. At the very least, you don't move to stand.

"I'm sorry." He starts. He had it all planned out, a little picnic, a little speech, but most things didn't usually go as planned when they came to you.

"For?" You say without even sparing him a glance.

For? "Making you mad." He says, because it's the only thing he can think of.

"I'm not–well, maybe," You groan. Your gaze leaves the horizon, just for a moment. "I'm not mad. Not at you."

"Then, why–?"

"I'm trying to come to terms with it, I guess." You shake your head, probably at yourself. "That I have to stay here? Whatever's outside, any other nation, is dangerous. It makes sense."

"Or," Kaeya leaves the basket aside to scoot closer to you. "you can handle yourself, and..."

"And?" He can't see, but you finally look over at him.

He'd thought it out, but now that he was saying it, he was having a bit of a hard time. "You can leave Mondstadt."

"I–really?" You had a million questions, each with a million answers he could give, but you were too busy with ecstasy.

"Yes," He snickers, "really."

You practically throw yourself at him. He relishes in the feeling of your lips, even if rough, against his own. His fingers trace the side of your torso thoughtlessly, as returning to your touch left him thoughtless. He missed you so dearly.

"Are you coming with?" That was hardly a question.

"Of course." He grins, "Who would I be if I wasn't?"

And he wouldn't have to miss you ever again.

<✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦>

There were some things you loved more than each other, some things that affected you even more than your love. Mondstadt was the City that reigned over Kaeya's heart and years of travel had given you a sense of freedom unachievable by settling down. Who was Kaeya to deny you your freedom? And who were you, to drag him through the ends of Teyvat?

In the weeks prior to your set departure, the both of you had come to learn that if you loved someone, you would let them go.

An earlier form of that, from when you were younger, was when you tricked him into thinking you a villain (whilst you weren't one yet). It was, to you, the only way to keep him safe.

Though Kaeya had promised he would leave with you, you couldn't separate him from the place he loved, the same way he couldn't either.

But Kaeya couldn't help but watch with abstained want, watch as you strapped up Raph (it was the least you could do to leave Nyx behind) with luggage and rations. The bare minimum, they were, and though he did not doubt you could live off of nature's goodwill, it still felt wrong.

He stayed silent, anyway, giving way to the sound of straps and leather and grains and spell materials.

Then, when all's done, you mount up. A feeling begins to rise in his chest, it bubbles up like a volcano ready to burst, like it'll boil up and spill over. "You comin'?"

"What?" He blurts, unprepared.

"You're not walking alongside me." Even then, he doesn't understand. The feelings collect and boggle his mind. "Take Nyx and come along. We've got a ways to go before the City Gates."

"Right."

The ride is silent because all's been said and discussed. The weeks leading up to today gave you enough time to speak, and speak you did. You thought you knew everything about him, but apparently not.

You take the opportunity to admire Mondstadt one last time. It wasn't the city of your dreams, and the people didn't understand you, but Mondstadt had its beauty. You wouldn't miss it though.

Kaeya follows suit in your admiration, but he doesn't find much to look at. These are the streets he will look at today and tomorrow and the years following.

The further you go, the less there is to look at. There is only one thing to see, and that is the gates up ahead. Your excitement was brimming, he could see it.

This was the very gate he'd first brought you to Mondstadt in, months ago. Up ahead, not so far away, was the tavern he met you in. To think none of it would've happened if he hadn't sought you out.

The both of you dismount halfway between the City and the wilds.

"I'll see you again, right?" Kaeya asks, hopefully. He knew the answer, of course, he just wanted to make sure. He wanted to hear it from your lips.

"Yes." You take one of his hands in yours reassuringly. "As many times as can be afforded," His lips open, move to voice his concerns, but you already know what he's going to ask. "which, I can assure you, is more than six times a year."

Six wasn't a lot, but a number was comforting. "Okay." He says.

"Okay." You say with a grin. You bring his hand to your lips and place upon its knuckles a kiss before mounting Raph again. Kaeya's gaze follows your every movement.

Was that all?

"Oh, one last thing." You lean over the side of your horse, dragging a hand along the side of his face. It traces an outline down his cheek, soothing in its touch, before finding its destination on his jaw. You lift his head up even higher and kiss him.

A kiss wasn't enough, even if it was just the thing he was waiting for. He pushes roughly against you, wanting never to let go. His hands move to hold your neck thoughtlessly so as to keep you from leaving.

A kiss wasn't enough, though it would have to do.

You pull away, much to his dismay, but you don't let the moment diminish. "I love you." You say, filling in his desire for more.

Kaeya can't help but to smile, even as sadness engulfs him full. "I love you too."

When you part from him completely, back upright on your horse and ready to leave, he doesn't feel so bad anymore. When you leave, galloping away on your horse towards an undetermined future, his smile turns to sorrow.

He continues to watch, watch as your figure turns smaller and smaller until it disappears into the horizon.

"To the ends of Teyvat."

[buddy-arc]

(From the Stars of @shiroi---kumo) || for Clear

·:*¨༺ ✩★✩ ༻¨*:·. This place is so strange.

The lands are upside down and sometimes the ocean is the sky. It makes no sense. They keep seeing strange people the features of animals and some of them have no features at all. They haven't seen another horned person since they got here, excluding these strange kind that seem to be made of pure bone with no crystal in sight.

Everyone here is so weird, and yet they're the ones getting stared at like they're what's wrong with the world. No, this world is what's wrong. This Wonderland as they call it.

An arm is raised out to the right as the tallest of the three men uses it to stop the advance of the two behind him. There is a strange child now, clearly colored in blues and greens and they don't quite know what to make of him.

"Perhaps he could help us?" The man of orange sounds as he leans forward ever so slightly, eyeing the boy up and down.

"Doubtful. We haven't found a helpful person in weeks." The man of pink scoffs as he pushes the broken frames of his glasses up his nose.

"Then it won't hurt to try. There has to be a city or town around here somewhere so, it's not going to hurt to ask." The man of green explains as he lowers his arm and the three lost stars cautiously float towards the strange boy.

"Excuse me." The youngest sounds as they venture closer. He knows the most languages and can switch at a moment's notice if the need arises. "Excuse me, could you spare us a moment of your time? We just have a few questions. We just need a little bit of help. You wouldn't know if there was a tow near by, would you? A town or a village or well anything. We're a bit lost and we're just looking for a place to restock supplies."

the ones approaching speak of him like he cannot hear, but he feels it is impolite to interrupt them in their conversation. Clear simply continues to weave a flower bracelet until he’s approached a second or so later. the crisp soul-scent of air lingers around the three men. Clear only knows one person who has that sort of feel, so it’s a pleasant surprise to encounter others.

the heart pauses his weaving, lifting his head to look at the closest man. the boy-like beast glances over the group a few times, taking in their appearances. there’s one man who looks like he would be a warrior, but the other two seem far from any kinds of combatants. they aren’t immediately hostile, either; rather, they seem to need help. if that is so, Clear will gladly oblige. he slips the bracelet over his glove and offers a smile.

“i do know of a small settlement, but it’s a bit of a distance from here.”

Clear had made certain of that; as much as he enjoys the company of the comodeen members, he’s found that perceiving everyone’s emotions constantly can take a toll, especially when stress is on the rise. taking time away from them every now and then to process everything has become crucial.

Clear stands, stretching his arms over his head. this was a simple “supply run” (otherwise known as shopping, in his eyes) with a small group, so it’s probably about time he got back to the group anyhow. he could easily direct these men to the village at the same time.

“the forest can be a bit of a maze, and i have people in that village to return to.” he clasps his hands behind him and rocks on his heels. “if you like, i could take you there.”

[profeyandere]

𝐃𝐖𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐒. ─── ☾ 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒' 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒

ʟɪɴᴋꜱ ↪ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ↪ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ↪ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ

ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏꜱ ↪ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.5ᴋ ↪ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴅᴡɪɢʜᴛ ꜱᴄʜʀᴜᴛᴇ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistake and if you can help me improve it, I will greatly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy it :D

"Jealous?"

Jim's voice resounded in Dwight's left ear, who raised the stick about to hit him for the scare it had given him, but, seeing the small smile that he had plastered on his face and that he seemed not to want to remove quickly, it just confused him. It was expected that Halpert would have tried to protect himself or get away from him, but he didn't do any of that and only moved his eyebrows in a suggestive way, making Schrute slightly annoyed by that, obviously not understanding the mood that his partner had with him.

"What?" Dwight asked in confusion, slowly lowering her arm and placing the cane on his desk, folding her arms again and fixing his gaze on the same spot he had been staring at for the last quarter of an hour. "Why would I be jealous? Be specific."

Jim sighed at Dwight's attempt to appear tough, for although he had been chatting with Pam throughout the party, he had been surprised to find that Schrute had been watching you from his desk for much longer than usual to do it and, for some reason they didn't understand, he hadn't approached you at all to congratulate you on the holidays as he had done every year; the whole office knew that you and Dwight had such a close relationship that you came to consider each other's best friends, they didn't even know how that was possible, but they decided that you were too charming and nice, and he couldn't take your cute girly charms.

"Well, because you haven't been able to be with (Y / N) all day and that's why you're in such a bad mood," Jim said, shrugging his shoulders and making his lips form a straight line, receiving a quick look from his partner. "I'm not saying it. It's what we all think because of how you try to pierce his head with your gaze, or that you wanted to disintegrate it."

"Don't be an idiot, of course, I don't want to disintegrate it and I haven't developed that ability to do it either," he murmured between light throat clearings so that he wouldn't be understood much, rather so that you wouldn't hear him, even if there was more than a meter between you and a cloud of music prevented you from hearing more than what those around you were saying.

"So if you're jealous," the chestnut-haired man affirmed, seeing how his companion turned abruptly towards him and looked at him with wide-open eyes, almost making him look like an owl. "What? It's true."

"I'm not jealous," Dwight denied with annoyance, feeling a shiver run down his entire spine and stop specifically at the nape of his neck, making the hairs in that area stand on end. "What makes you think in such a primitive way?"

"Because you've been kept away from her for the entire party," Halpert pointed out. "You always spend the day together but today I haven't seen you or shared lunch. Excuse me for saying it, but it's really weird and now everyone avoids you being with her because they're dancing,” he continued. "Why don't you come over and dance with her? Even I have, and she has told me that she was looking forward to sharing a dance with you."

"Yes, yes, of course," he said sarcastically, the one with glasses. "I haven't seen you guys together at the party, and I'm pretty sure she didn't say that."

Although Dwight greatly appreciated your company, to the point where he wanted to share every little achievement with you thanks to your way of accepting it with all its weirdness and nonsense, he knew that you couldn't just aspire to someone like him, who was already rather, but perhaps you deserved someone who had a more important position within the company, such as director, because, after seeing you sigh so many times and mention that you almost saw that position as unattainable for all employees, he worked tirelessly to get it, even having to betray Michael once just to impress you; you thought the way he tried to be a director was stupid and, although you gave him a good slap, you encouraged him to try to get that position in another way.

Dwight loved everything about you and even though he sounded too corny, he liked you a lot and just for being you. You had all the qualities to make someone like you and he fell for you.

And, going back to the same thing, precisely he hadn't told you his feelings for fear of rejection, for misreading the signs and looking like an idiot in front of you, and for fear that you would stop being her friend; he trusted very few people, his concerns were known only to his cousin Mose, and sometimes not even him, but with you, he was like an open book and could easily explain how the birth of one of his mares had been like how he could tell you how frustrated he felt when not getting the sale with a minor customer, but it was your way of listening to him and encouraging him that made him feel that way with you.

You were special and now, in your little red dress with white trim, you almost looked like a little angel to her.

Jim, as Dwight continued to watch you, could tell how he sighed wearily and his gaze drifted slowly to his restless hands.

"No, you can't do that!"

Angela's shout made the two vendors forget about the topic that was happening to focus on what was happening inside the meeting room and that is that, surprisingly, you found yourself under the mistletoe with Kelly, who was more than excited to share a kiss with you.

"Don't listen to Angela!" Michael exclaimed, pushing several of his employees away from him so he could leave the room. "I'm going for the camera, this must be immortalized!"

"Michael, wait," Jim stopped him suddenly, seeing how he looked at him with wide eyes urgently while his legs kept moving as if he were running. "What's happening?"

"Kelly and (Y/N) are going to kiss, and I refuse to let that not go down in Dunder Mifflin's history."

Both sellers looked at each other for a brief moment before submerging themselves among the small mass of people to be able to see the meeting that, although it had not been planned, had greatly pleased Michael; he knew that Angela was forbidden mistletoe, she didn't like to see people share kisses in public and she refused to let the same happen in the office, but when he had the opportunity, he hung several small clusters in the most popular places of the Office.

"Come on, Angela, it's just a kiss," Pam tried to calm her down, seeing her turn a strongly reddish tone because of her anger and embarrassment.

"I'd still put up with it if this happened between a man and a woman, but I refuse to let this happen," she said, pointing at you and Kelly.

You, although smiling and calm, couldn't help but be amused by Angela's reaction and, even though you had mentioned to Kelly that that wouldn't be the best choice for a kiss because she was in front of the Catholic, she didn't care much when she yelled that I was going to kiss you in front of the whole office. That, eventually, caused a stir among your colleagues, and quickly many had taken out their mobile phones to record what would happen in a few minutes.

"Angela, it's not a big deal," you spoke. "It will be something fast, you will not notice."

"I'm going to find out because I'll be present," she pointed out with some anger.

"Somebody covers his eyes, we're not going to make it any longer than it should."

Dwight couldn't believe what he had heard about you, and he hadn't expected it either, he hadn't even thought about the possibility that you liked women.

Many of the men in the office placed their large hands on Angela's face, trying to prevent her from seeing your quick kiss with Kelly and, although it was quiet and without any lewd element, everyone present cheered for the peak that you gave each other. You didn't mind kissing someone of your gender, you wouldn't be offended by something so silly, and Kelly was a super pretty girl who you liked a lot.

"It can't be, I haven't recorded it!" Michael exclaimed as he poked his head over Schrute's shoulder. "Jim, Dwight, did you record it?"

Dwight didn't fully hear anything his boss said as all his senses were focused on you and Kelly and how your cheeks had reacted to the kiss because as soon as he saw how red you both turned, he couldn't help but think that his only chance to be with you had been complete nonsense, nonsense. For a moment, he thought that you had only been nice to him, something usual in people, and you had no intention of exciting him to the point of making him think that maybe he had a chance to be with you in a romantic relationship, nor could he blame you for it that he liked you, and he couldn't help it because of how you were.

"Are you sure you're not jealous?"

Jim's question irritated him and, although nobody expected it, Dwight began to hit him hard with the stick that he had brought with him to punish him for suggesting such a thing.

Although you had been joking around, and everyone believed that Schrute had started hitting Halpert in a playful way as had happened on occasion, you couldn't help but think that there was something else in Dwight that had made him express himself that way. You knew him well, and judging from his slightly wrinkled nose and the way his body loomed over Jim, you could tell something had bothered him, something that Halpert had said had broken the salesman's patience.

Suddenly, Pam's slight jolt brought you back to reality, and even though she'd struck up an animated conversation with you about how the kiss had felt and how embarrassed Angela felt, you couldn't help but continue to stare at Dwight from behind a distance, observing how he did not enter the meeting room and that he went into the kitchen while walking very angry. You knew you had to talk to Dwight as soon as possible, find out what he had provoked to calm him down, so you quickly moved away from Beesly under an apology to follow your friend.

Dwight, once he got into the kitchen, threw his stick to the floor in anger, subsequently stepping on it as he tried to relieve the stress he felt about himself and the pain that had settled so deep in his chest. He had been with Angela a few years ago, they had both broken up, and he had felt really bad about how the breakup had happened, but that didn't compare to how he felt at the time.

"Dwight."

Your voice, calm and sweet as it sounded on any other day, he heard behind him and though he had no intention of turning around to face you, it was your small hand on his right that made him turn around to meet your concerned face. His dull eyes met your bright ones that, curious and sad, seemed to denote the concern you felt about how he had behaved with Jim.

His body was wrapped by your arms that, shorter than his, remained around his waist under a strong grip that made him stay even more still than when he had seen you.

"What happened to you?" You asked, moving away from him a little so you could look into his eyes. "Was it because of something Jim said to you? Because, if so, I can talk to him so he doesn't bother you."

"No," he denied quickly, moving his head from side to side to emphasize his response. "It's not entirely because of Jim."

"Okay," you murmured, a little confused by his response. "Jim has made you angry, but something else is bothering you. What is it?"

It was a bit strange for you that Dwight looked away from you, normally it was the other way around because of the intensity with which he looked at you, but you understood what he wanted to tell you when you met his eyes again, noticing a singular brightness that you had never seen before seen in it. It wasn't the light from the kitchen that had caused it, but a much more beautiful and sweet feeling than you could have imagined for a moment and, although you wanted to deny the possibility, you couldn't help but smile softly.

« It wasn't just Jim that bothered you, right? But it was also me », you thought.

Your hands, previously placed on his waist, were placed on his cheeks and, before he could react to move away or realize what you were about to do, you stood on your tiptoes so you could join your lips in a sweet and long kiss that ended the moment you noticed that you were not reciprocated. You didn't think much of it at the time you acted, figuring the problem was with you because maybe he liked you, but when you didn't notice a lip move coming from him, you worried you might have misread the signs.

"Dwight," you called when you saw how red the tip of his nose had turned and how wide his eyes were. "I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood you, right?"

Schrute lifted his head so he could look up at the ceiling, his eyes sweeping across the white expanse, until he met your eyes again with an expression of confusion at his frown.

"There is no mistletoe," he stated, now making you frown at him. Why do you kiss me if there is no mistletoe?

"Because I don't need an excuse to kiss you," you murmured. "I thought you were angry because of something Jim said to you and because you liked him and because he had kissed Kelly," you explained quickly, moving your hands in an attempt to emphasize your answer. "I thought that everything had come together, and that's why you had hit him, but I see I was wrong."

"What does that mean?" He asked, noticing how the palms of his hands were beginning to sweat from the nerves. "The excuse thing, what does it mean?"

Your little smile, sweet and affectionate, caused a flock of butterflies to be unleashed on him.

"You know perfectly well what that means," you murmured, reaching out to take his hands even if they were soaking wet.

The two of you, guided by the moment and the impulses of your respective hearts, leaned towards each other, placing your hands on each other's cheeks, before meeting in a little inexperienced kiss in which you tried to learn what the other needed. Your noses collided slightly and, between short laughs, you continued that Christmas kiss that you had expected so much from the other.

"They're adorable," Pam whispered as she peered through the cracks in the kitchen curtain at what was going on inside her.

"If you say it, it's because it has to be that way," Jim murmured, shrugging his shoulders, smiling gently as you and Dwight separated to hug each other.

[elliemuze]

I have seen transphobes screaming about "trans science" and "basic biology" for I don't even know how long. If I decide to engage with them at all, it's often with such interjections as "do you mean literally just science?" or "yes, the same biology that taught us our embryos begin as 'female,' and sometimes development gets caught in between, because this process, as most things in nature, is imperfect."

"All human individuals—whether they have an XX, an XY, or an atypical sex chromosome combination—begin development from the same starting point. During early development, the gonads of the fetus remain undifferentiated; all genitalia are the same and are phenotypically female."

"All human and mammalian embryos start life as females and it's only around the second month that fetuses develop enough androgens to offset maternal estrogens in those set to be of male sex."

This process being imperfect is how intersex people come to be, or why naturally-occurrent hormone imbalances exist, which in itself can affect one's appearance. [Sex and gender being two different constructs.]

When reminded of this fact, I had one person send me a screenshot stating how intersex people only make up 1.7% of the population and so shouldn't be used as an argument against the majority.

Presuming the statistics he sent me were U.S. based, and presuming my math is correct, 1.7% is over 3 MILLION PEOPLE. If those stats are worldwide? 80 million. [Exhibit A as to why people should be seen as people and not numbers on a fucking screen.]

Just because something is a statistical minority doesn't mean it doesn't matter.

It's not an "argument" to state that a minority of individuals exist. Likewise, no one is trying to alter the majority. If someone doesn't identify as trans (or queer in general), okay?? No one is forcing them to. No one is coming at them with a medical bag to forcibly transition them.

My cousin was diagnosed with ALS when we were kids. It's super rare, like 5 people per 100k will get it. Wouldn't you know it, the hospital still recognized the condition and saw to my cousin's needs. Wild. 😲

Resuming the matter of transgenderism specifically, I've sent them links containing all the studies and scientific evidence one could possibly dream of which lay out EXACTLY what transgenderism is and how it's a proven state of being. I'll cite specific fields of study they can explore for even further clarity. I'll remind them that this knowledge has never been evading them. That they're championing the instrument which proves them wrong, using it as a shield for their bigotry - only to declare it the very staple upon which their beliefs are hinged. In the same fucking breath. Without irony.

Here's one of many available articles. I picked this one to share because it breaks everything down into more colloquial terms and serves as a great summary with linked citations, though I do encourage everyone to seek out more.

Fields of study mentioned: genetic, neurobilogical, and endocrinological.

[Ignorance is no excuse for intolerance when the annals of knowledge are at your fingertips. One can quite literally google "science supports transgenderism" and be instantly regaled with whole megaliths of data.]

Every single time, without fail, they do one of two things. Double down, becoming utterly nonsensical, or ignore/block. You might think they'd at least acknowledge their oversight in some way. Not admit fault, of course, never that, but SOMETHING. (Perhaps it's my autism speaking, but I personally hate coming across as an idiot.) I sit there, waiting for something to click, because hey, at least this way you're just an asshole rather than contemptibly stupid. Right?

As it turns out: no. Not a single one of these sentient scrotums has ever had the balls to own their cruelty (in my experience, at least). They'd rather be fucking stupid on purpose. They'd rather their kids die from preventable diseases. They'd rather suck off corporations who'd shit on them for sport than see people thriving. They'd rather prolong a worldwide pandemic at the cost of millions' lives than wear a piece of cloth over their face.

They'd rather be stupid on fucking purpose, because no one likes seeing the devil in their reflection.

There's nothing more infuriating to me. People are losing their lives, people's safety and welfare are compromised, people are facing persecution - all because these rotten motherfuckers are content to atrophy and won't look in a mirror. I know the psychology of it all, I realize it's a complex cluster-strudel of human conditions and cultish-programming. But people are fucking suffering. There's no excuse for that. No excuse. (I say this as someone who was raised herself within a cult of organized religion. Yes, I was victimized, but that could never exempt me from basic decency. It doesn't justify harmful behavior that actively puts people's lives in jeopardy.)

I apologize if this turned into more of a tirade than something earnest and informative. I'm not trans myself, so I can't even begin to imagine the level of frustration and fear my trans neighbors must be feeling. I'm admittedly a mess over here - just a neurodivergent patchwork of mental illness, disabled, handicapped, and generally struggling. But I will fight for you. In whatever way I possibly can. You deserve to live. You deserve comfort. You deserve to exist in peace. Love you all. 🏳️‍⚧️💜

If you find any inaccuracies here or feel something could be better phrased, please don't hesitate to correct me.

i love how conservatives keep saying "facts don't care about your feelings" and in the next sentence they whine about how the scientifically proven existence of something is offending them.

[fuckmymunson]

Anon from yesterday hehe, so what I had in my mind was that, reader is James' stepsibling (since I'm poc) and is in Slytherin. Hence he hates them. Even in Slytherin they're not respected and bullied cus they're nice. They also try to be like James and are animagus only so could get love but James confesses he hates his sibling.

Fast forward, reader marries regulus who again treats them like crap. Their marriage is sad. Until maybe something happens and regulus realises their value and later even James accepts them. So basically shit ton of angst with happy ending.

Sorry for long request. You can make it as dark and angsty as you can

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 — 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤

☆ CW: ANGST, suicide attempt, a lot of cursing, family issues, bullying, James (probably OOC, but idgaf<3), being really, really mean, Regulus being a bad husband. | word count: 5.4k. ☆ a/n: First time writing Reg, sorry. Part II it's still in the making (yes almost a year later, leave me alone lmao)

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

Can’t the dark side light my way?

Another morning was waking up to an empty bed. 

Rolling on your side, you sighed pressing your cheek against the silk pillows. Every morning was the same, every day felt the same in this old house. 

Wrapping yourself in the soft robe, you walked downstairs, to the kitchen, where your husband was already, a cup of black coffee in one hand and the daily prophet in the other. 

“Good morning.” You said as you did every morning.

“Good morning,” Regulus muttered back, as he did every morning. 

Monotone, a routine, tasteless. That's how you could describe your marriage. Oh, and loveless. 

“I'm going to Diagon Alley, do you need anything?” You asked, side against the doorframe. 

“Can you buy more of those cinnamon rolls you brought last week?” Regulus lifted his gaze from the newspaper. 

You nodded and he muttered a quiet thanks, and with that, you were off. It was always like this, boring conversations, obligatory questions, obligatory answers. He wasn't your husband, he was more like your roommate, perhaps a stranger whom you shared a roof with. 

Diagon Alley was crowded, as it always was. Store after store, you stopped by the local bakery, smiling at the (apparently) only thing you had in common with your husband.

To say you didn’t care about Regulus would be a lie, even if it was an arranged marriage, and even if you two had your discrepancies in the past, he was now someone who circulated your orbit daily. Someone whom you liked it or not was going to be there for a long, long time. Regulus was more of a ghost, a phantasmagoric entity that floated around you from time to time, barely speaking, barely acknowledging your existence.

But fights? Were there too. Rather constantly. 

Sometimes over nothing, sometimes over past wounds, that were still fresh, sometimes because of his family, sometimes because of yours. Fights always ended up the same, with you sobbing against your silky pillows, and Regulus sleeping in one of the guest rooms. 

“Excuse me” A feminine voice behind you dragged you out of your melancholic daze. Turning around, your eyes widened as you recognised the redhead woman in front of you, with a shy smile and a baby with wild hair and green eyes in her arms. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I was just passing by and I saw you here. Say hi Harry.” She cooed at the smiling baby in her arms, who eyed you curiously.

“It’s okay.” You assured her, not sounding convinced at all. “Hello there.” You smiled at the little Harry, who just giggled, his little teeth peeking through his small lips. 

“How you’ve been?” Lily asked, clearly trying to start a conversation. “I’m sorry if it seems a bit… meddlesome. It’s just, I never see you around and, you know.” She looked around, visibly nervous.

“Lily.” You spoke softly. “I understand.” You knew where this conversation was heading, and it was something you weren’t really in the mood for. “You don’t have to talk or interact with me if you don’t want to, I don’t mind.” You stopped caring about that long ago.

“I do want to!” She chirped, almost offended. She understood how difficult your situation was, but she was, after all, your stepbrother’s wife. “Harry’s birthday is next week, I was going to send you the invitation, but, hence we are here—”

“James won’t be happy to see me there.” It was true, a crude truth though. Lily frowned but didn’t object, proving you right. “I don’t want to ruin Harry’s birthday party with my presence, besides, I don’t think Regulus would even consider it, I’m pretty sure his brother will be there. ”

“Oh.” Lily quietly muttered, she didn’t think about that further. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You gave her a faux smile, one she didn’t believe at all. “Excuse me, I have to go. I’ll see you around.” Another lie. “Goodbye Harry.” You waved at the infant, who just looked at you with his big, green eyes.

The second you stepped out of the bakery, you heard Lily’s voice calling your name. Once again, you turned around, clutching the paper bag against your chest. You really wanted to go home, but you were too polite to ignore her. She approached you, with a fierce determination in her eyes.

“Look. I know James isn’t the best brother.” She didn’t use the correct title, just like she always did back at school, and James always corrected her, frustrated. “I know he was a total asshole in school, and I’m sorry I never speak up or did something to stop him. I understand family can be difficult, God, my sister? Petunia, she despites me.” She chuckled slightly, shaking her head. “I’m not trying to be a bridge between you two, I won’t force you to reach out to him either, I just want to see you happy. I’m was going to talk to James tonight, and probably scold him for everything he has done these past years, perhaps a few years late, but better late than never, right?”

It seemed too, genuine.

You were speechless. With a deep sigh, you give in, Lily was too persistent, and you were sure she wouldn’t give up, she was head girl after all. 

“Fine.” You smiled, this time it was a real smile. “I’ll talk to Regulus tonight as well, I can’t promise you anything, but, I’ll try.”

“Thank you.” Your sister-in-law hugged you, for real. She smelled like peaches and cinnamon, and baby powder. “Thank you, I promise you, everything will get better.”

Everything will get better. 

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

“No. Absolutely no.” Regulus stood up from the armchair, frowning. “Are you out of your mind?”

“It’s just a party, Regulus.” You interjected, pinching the bridge of your nose. Why did he have to be so uptight? “It won’t hurt. Lily really wants us to go.”

“Us?” He asked, raising his hands, annoyed. “There is no us.” 

He was right. There was no us. 

Regulus saw, firsthand, how your chest deflated, how your gaze lowered, and how you sighed. He was right, there was no us. It was only you, It was always just you.

“I’m going to bed.” You announced, turning around to hide the tears. Fights weren’t new, but what was new, was the raw twist in his stomach, at the sounds of your sobs on the other side of the main bedroom door. Regulus pressed his back against the wooden frame, listening to how you cried. It wasn’t the first time you cried after a fight, but why did this time make him feel something?

Was it regret? Guilt? Remorse? All of the above?

He slept in the guest room that night, and as he lay on the pillows, he realized he couldn't recall when was the last time he slept next to you. 

Dreams weren’t nice either, they weren’t an escape from the cruel reality. Dreams, at least for you, were a constant reminder of how miserable your life was.

Dreams. Memories. Nightmares. 

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

Laughs, evil laughs. Evil snaked dressed in green and silver surrounding you, mocking you. You rubbed your eyes, groaning at the sticky feeling of your fingertips over your face, your hair, your uniform. Someone spilt a glass of orange juice over your head, and no one did anything to stop them. No one cared, no one overlooked. 

For the proud and ambitious house of Slytherin, you were just a poor joke. You were the insignificant excuse of a wizard, and definitely, you didn't belong with them. You were too nice, too soft, you were a gentle soul. Qualities that, the Slytherin house wasn’t quite fond of. 

And they were sure to remind it every day of your school life. 

Across the dining hall, students from other houses looked at you with pity, amusement and even curiosity. Were they expecting you to defend yourself? Probably. Were you going to? Probably not. Instead of giving them a piece of your mind, you just ran away. Once again, as you rubbed the orange juice off your eyes, now mixed with the salty tears of humiliation, they laughed, and their cruel barks echoed in your ears, your mind and your heart. 

How did this fit in your story?

Outside, under the dark night sky, the stars were bright. Glowing carefree in the firmament. Your feet wandered around the edge of the astronomy tower, wondering how it would be to be a star. Maybe this just wasn’t your timeline. Maybe you weren’t born to succeed, to achieve great things. Everything just felt empty, flavourless, pointless. Since when did that bright smile change into a sorrowful grimace? When did everything go downhill? Questions, questions, so many questions and no answers. Shaky hands held tightly on the chilly rails of the tallest tower in Hogwarts, where the wind was colder and the stars were closer. 

Have you ever dreamed of being reborn as a star? Many times. A wish, your last wish, as your feet started to move away, closer to the sky. Star light, star bright, wish you may, wish you might. Closing your eyes, ignoring the tears streaming down your cheeks, you let go of a hand, darting dangerously around the edge. Everything would be quick, painless, and that’s what you wished for the most, for the pain to just stop. 

"Wait!" A voice, a masculine voice. A voice of a star, the brightest star. You opened your eyes violently, gasping at sudden vertigo in your stomach, your feet slipped, and realizing for a fraction what you were about to do. It was too late now, your hands were away from the rails, as your body sway almost gracefully, towards death. 

His hand grasped yours, it hurt. Great, just what you needed, more pain. Regulus held firmly to your hand, as you sobbed. Carefully, he eased you back into the ground, your knees wobbling the second you landed on the stone floor. Hard sobs rocked your body, your heart pounding wildly inside your chest.

“Why?” You asked, between sobs. “Why did you stop me?”

“Why were you… going to—” Regulus started, breathing heavily, shocked by what he just witnessed.

“Because I knew no one would stop me.”

"I'm sorry for what happened in the Great Hall." He already said that, why did he insist upon it? "I should've said something, what they did to you was so unfair, even if…” Even if it what?

“Even if  I deserved it?” You suggested with half-lidded eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Regulus kneeled next to you, keeping a prudent distance. “I didn’t mean it that way, sorry. I don’t know what to say. It was wrong, you don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

Pity. It was pity. 

“Regulus.” Hugging your knees, you inhaled the sweet scent of orange juice lingering in your uniform. “Don’t pretend you overlook me. They have been pestering me for years, and you never seemed to care about it. If this is a joke, it ain’t a funny one.”

“It’s not a joke!” He protested. “I just… never actually cared, yeah. Until now.”

Until now. 

“Until now?” 

Days later, you found out, what ‘Until now’, finally meant. It meant a black, wax-sealed letter, a bad omen. Just a few words were enough to crumble the little piece of peace you had. 

War. Fiancé. Marriage. Regulus Black. 

You threw the letter to the fire, watching it twist and burn in the desertic common room, late at night with a blanket around your shoulders. You were too immersed in your own thoughts to notice his presence. Regulus called you, making you jolt in surprise. He saw the envelope next to the fire, and the ashed on the wood confirmed his suspicions.

“So, until now, uh?” You asked, with a harsh tone, harsher than intended, not bothering to look at him.

“I’m not happy either.” His voice was a brick, and you were sure he had an unpleased frown. 

“There must be a way. I’m sure.” Standing up, the blanket rolled down your shoulders, pooling on the thick green rugs. “Fuck.” You cursed under your breath. “This can’t be happening.” 

“It’s borderline ironic.” Something about Regulus’ tone didn’t sit quite right with you. 

“Ironic? How so?”

“She's vivid by the idea of me marrying a pureblood, a Slytherin, she didn't even care that your Mother was married to a Potter. A blood traitor, just like my br— just like Sirius.” Of course, it all came to that. Of course, Regulus was just like his family, just an elitist, classist piece of shit. “Perhaps we can tell my Mother how much of a coward and weak you are." His words tensed you, were all the Blacks so venomous? "How you aren't a real Slytherin.”

That was the last drop, your thirteen reason. “Sure, and we can tell my Mother how much of a self-centred asshole you are. How you can't see beyond your fat nose and realize there are other people besides you." Your nostrils flared with rage, no tears, just rage. 

Regulus’ face contorted into one of anger, outraged by your words. 

“I regret walking on you that night.” He scoffed, looking at you as if you were nothing more than a speck of dirt in his expensive leather shoes. “I wish I could travel back in time and stop myself from not letting you fucking kill yourself, giving up like the coward you are. Absolutely pathetic.” His words were pure venom, living up to his house and its emblem. 

You slapped him. His face distorted into one of surprise. "I wish I had died that night. So I don't have to watch your ugly fucking face daily."

That night, like many others, you cried yourself to sleep, casting a silencing spell around your bed, hiding from the world, letting the pain consume you, poisoning your soul. Days only got worse, your grades dropped, and soon the whole school knew you were engaged to none other than the Regulus Black. Students stared at you more than usual, whispered louder than usual, and you ever wondered if you became a zoo animal without noticing it. The little contact you had with other students was now unexistent, you spent the majority of the time alone, in the library, where books couldn’t hurt you. 

The library became your safe space, a bubble to hide from the real world. Standing on your tiptoes to reach the highest shelve, your attention caught a familiar voice, a loud one, too loud to be allowed in the library. 

"Moony c'mon, we'll be fine!" James, it was James.

"Stop insisting, Prongs." Remus answered, and he sounded annoyed. With silent steps you walked closer to them, leaning over a bookshelf, eavesdropping on their argument. "Last full moon was a disaster."

"You know who's fault that was." That one was Peter. 

"Keep it down, please." Remus sighed. "You're lucky she knows how to heal a scratch like that. Because if Madame Pomfrey ever hears about this—"

"She won't!" James interrupted him. "She said that she'll be close so if we need her, she'll be there."

You heard Remus's breath hitching. "Are you out of your damn mind? I'm not going to let her near me when I'm a fucking werewolf, Prongs."

A werewolf. 

"Calm down, Moony, we know is your time of the month." Sirius's teasing tone only had the opposite effect. "Ouch! Fine, fine, I'll stop. But don’t pinch me like that, it hurts.”

“Great, now shut up.” Remus groaned, annoyed. 

It made perfect sense. Years ago, you heard Severus teasing him in one of the few classes you shared with them, calling him "Loony Lupin", a freak, pointing out his scars... Speaking of scars, he had a lot of them.

A couple of essays and works about werewolves had taught you only one thing: They were cruel creatures and extremely dangerous, but, Remus never, in a thousand years looked like a cruel person, he was the only one of James's close friends who had never actively participated in your stepbrother's antics to humiliate you and bother you, but he didn't do anything to stop him either, and you learned the hard way that doing nothing was also part of the problem. 

“I still can’t believe you three spent three damn years, putting your lives at risk to become an animagus.” Remus scoffed, but then laughed. “You guys are insane.”

“Hey,” Sirius said. “Anything for our Moony.”

What the hell was happening? First werewolves and now animagus? It really, really, really made perfect sense. Padfoot, Moony, Prongs and Wormtail. 

If James and his friends could transform themselves into an animagus, how hard could it be?

It was hard, extremely hard. 

It could be considered delusional and psychotic, attempt it without previous preparations, and professional supervision. Being young and naive makes you do stupid things, just for the sake of being accepted and loved. Book after book, the migraine drilled deeply into your skull, it was borderline impossible. After two weeks of exasperating research, two broken quills and a roll of paper, you always ended up with the same conclusion: It was dangerous. Becoming an animagus without any type of help or supervision from the Ministry of Magic was basically a premeditated suicide. 

Constantly asking yourself how could they manage to do it without getting caught, how were their methods, how were they still alive? After your third attempt that night, hiding in the Astronomy tower, your whole body ached, a bad move could ruin your life forever, becoming a half-human half-animal, or in the worst case, becoming a corpse. The books you had scattered around the cold floor were useless now, they only repeated the same words with different fonts, words that only vanished your enthusiasm. You didn’t have enough time, enough skills and enough confidence. 

"Come on, come on." You whispered to yourself, closing your eyes, feeling the magic flowing through your veins, powerful, strong, earthly. It felt natural, it felt yours. 

It was there, you could feel it. You were so, so close. Your whole body tingled, the sparkles in your soul the purpose of your efforts igniting the magic within you. Just a little bit more...

It was gone, and you groaned in pain. It vanished as quickly as it approached, four failed attempts were enough for that night. So, while throwing the useless books inside your backpack, you walked back to your dorm carefully to not be caught by Flitch or Mrs Norris.

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

Full moon. It was time, it was your last chance. 

It was risky, worst case scenario you could die, your corpse rotting the night. But, death wasn't a thing you were afraid of, at least not anymore. You planned every single step that night, you went through it the whole week. You avoided Regulus, you avoided James, you avoided everything and everyone. The hardest thing was to know when and how to follow them. You knew they were leaving the castle at any time soon, you were a smart girl after all. Logically, Remus couldn't transform near school, for the safety of other students and himself. Dungeons? No, inside the school it was impossible, very noticeable too, and too easy to guess. It must be out of the school grounds. 

The first step was to successfully walk out of the school without being caught, and perhaps one (if not) of the most challenging (asides from the transformation itself), then all you had to do is wait. Wait for a signal, for voices, steps, anything. Hiding outside of the castle, next to the greenhouses, the night air was cold, really cold. Wrapping yourself in your jumper, you waited to hide next to a pile of dirt sacks, patiently. 

Forty minutes or so later, when you started to doubt your plan, you heard them. Not them exactly, but you could recognize McGonagall's voice everywhere. Taking a quick peek, Madame Pomfrey was also there, and they were escorting Remus, who was silent between the two women. Taking a prudent distance, you followed them all the way to the Whimpering Willow, and you watched in awe how McGonagall with a flick of her wand paralyzed the tree, walking right into a hole next to the prominent roots, followed by Remus and Poppy. So, there was a secret passage. It made sense. But where did it lead them to? Hiding behind a big rock, you waited again. Until they returned, chatting in a low voice. 

Until you were sure they were far gone, this was your only chance. Mimicking Minerva's movements, you hoped a simple paralyzing spell would do the trick, and to your surprise it did. Wasting no time, you slid under the tree, scratching your hand as you did so, wiping the little pearls of blood in your jumper. The dark pathway was lugubrious, and you weren't exactly sure where it would lead you, you reached the end, and a weak ray of the pale moonlight guided your steps until you were outside of the Shrieking Shack. This was an excellent location, away from Hogwarts and away from Hogsmeade, plus, the abandoned house had the reputation of being haunted, so, naturally, no one approached it. It was brilliant! 

You heard voices, and this time it was them. Running to the nearest tree, you hid behind it, cold sweat running down your face. The unmistakable sound of Sirius' laugh filled your ears, and you watched how the entered the house. The moon was almost at its peak, almost ready to take its protagonism in the dark sky. 

A deep, crucifying silence reigned over the terrain until you heard it. A howl, a deep, loud howl, mixed with pain and ache. It was your signal to go with the final step. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. Inhaling, exhaling. It was now or never.

There it was again, that sensation running through your veins, pumping magic through every cell of blood. Your skin felt warm, tingling, you felt every hair, every pore. Taking a deep, long breath, you closed your eyes. Wand in hand, you took another profound breath, placing your wand-tip against your heart, begging to the stars. 

“Amato Animo Animato Animagus.”

Blazing pain and an intense shiver ran through your body. The bright moon witnessed everything, how your body contorted in agony, your heartbeat was loud, hard and fast, and then it stopped, for a brief instant. Then two. Double heartbeat. It was too late now. There was no going back. A dark cloud fogged your mind, and it happened, you saw it, inside your head, and it was beautiful, it was graceful, it was you. The fear that followed you through the transformation started to crumble your bravery, but surrendering only meant one thing:

Death.

Opening your eyes, everything was… different. The sounds were louder, the scents were stronger. The perspective was abysmal, what was big was now small, and raising your gaze, there it was, the full moon, golden and proud, smiling softly at you, or at least it seemed to. 

Their scent was strong, mixed and together, they were a pack. You heard them from miles around, and the rational voice inside your mind kept you in line, it would be too abrupt to approach them firsthand. Sneaking silently around the abandoned building, you devoured your surroundings, every rock, every stick, every curve. The fresh imprint of paws guided you through the woods, closer and closer to the forbidden forest. Still keeping a safe distance, you joined their voices, still hesitant. 

The big, grey wolf was the first one to approach you. Slowly at first, reluctant. Were you a friend or an enemy? The tension was high in the skies. He growled, cautious. It was him, it had to be him. He sniffed the air, your scent, and taking a seat, he maintained eye contact, narrowing his golden eyes.

You didn’t felt threatened at all. It was an innofensive interaction, you could smell his curiosity, if that was even possible, or even rational. The atmosphere relaxed for a bit, and the wolf laid down, resting his snot in his long paws. He accepted your presence, but it wasn’t an invitation either. You chirped happily, progress was progress. 

Until, the rest of them emerged from the shadows. Larger than you, stronger, angrier. They didn’t liked you, at you could sense their discomfort and hazard. The large, black dog, barked at you, a simple warning: ‘Stay away’. You remained still, blinking slowly, showing them no harm was planned. At least not from your part. The stag was the biggest of them all, with enormous, extravagant horns, graceful swirls in a soft bone colour. The usual prey now looked and acted like a true predator, and the brownish stag was the first one to walk closer to you, looming over you. Stretching his neck, the animal attempted a showoff of dominance, to express how proud and unwelcoming he was. 

Behind him, the black dog growled again at you, this time louder. A second warning: ‘Leave’. But you didn’t. You remained still, strong-willed. 

A sudden high-pitched squeal caught your attention, and you observed how the wolf was stepping on the tail of a abnormal big rat, not in a dangerous way, more leaning into a playful manner. Unfortunately, letting your guard down for a brief second was a mistake. The black dog pounced, this was the third and final warning. He hovered over you, the drool dripping down his canines. Rolling over a couple times, you tried to fight back, but it was hard, this new form was still new, and your movements were clumsy and dull. 

His sharp teeth were wrapped around your throat, hard enough to pierce the skin but not to be considered mortal. The primal instinct of survival ran through your veins, and using every ounce of strength you had in your animalistic personage, you pushed him off you. It wasn’t a fair fight though. The painful stab of the Stag’s horns against your sides caught you off guard once again. 

Wheeling over the dirt, you hissed in pain, panting. The adrenaline was high and the anxiety too. Loud alarms inside your head screamed at you. Run, run, run. On all fours, you sprinted away, quickly being pursued by the two aggressive animals. The wolf’s howling broke the silence surrounding you, it was a long, melancholic howl. From the sounds of heavy steps behind you, you knew they were getting closer. They knew how to move, you didn’t. Your legs gave up, sore and pristine to this new anatomy. Those sharp, brutal teeth caught the flesh of one of your back legs, as you cried in distress.

«No, no, no, this can’t be the way I die.» The rational and human voice inside your head sobbed. 

A flash of gray freed you from the dog’s grip. The two canines fought against each other, barking and howling at each other, as if its human sides were in a heated argument. You suddenly remembered, the stag was still there, and you wouldn’t comit the same mistake twice.

Duels for you, were never fair, less, if your adversary was your stepbrother, James. 

The stag was stronger and bigger, but you were lighter and faster. Dodging every lunge and assault, the strong scents of their proximity clouded your common senses. This wasn’t correct, you never meant to hurt them, especially him. For a very strange reason, you still cared for him, even after all he had done. 

Bright, warm rays of sunshine dazzled you, the sun was rising, which only meant one thing; The world stopped for a minute, and everyone ran back to the Shrieking Shack, where they were supposed to be in the first place, but this was far from over. 

Running back to your first hiding spot, you closed your eyes again, resting your shivering form against an old tree trunk, accumulating all the last resilience you had to transform back. If someone had told you a month ago, you would’ve been hurriedly dressing back up, bleeding for a hundred superificial wounds, next to the Shrieking Shack, you would tell them they were out of their fucking mind. The sun was brushing the horizon, carefree, as the moon waved back, ready to leave and gossip with the stars. With trembling steps, you walked towards the haunted house, panting, one hand making pression on your stomach, where your most profound wound was. 

Inside the old place, it reeked of dirt, old magic and a hint of cinnamon, and maybe citrus, and odd combination, to say the least. Their voices were loud whispers, and, turning around a corner, you found them.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” James shouted, however, this time you didn’t backed away, to hide and cry. 

You were too tired to run away.

“You almost killed me!” You snapped back, surprising him with your offputting attitude. 

“Stop,” Remus interjected, standing up from a broken, dusty bed, just to groan slightly in pain and sit back down. “Shit—. She knows, she knows too much.” His face was bloody, he was wrapped in a yellow blanket, his silver scars peeking through the fabric along with new ones, angry red and still bleeding. 

“Fucking idiot.” James stepped closer, clutching your shoulder. “You ruin everything. You’re so selfish, you are so stupid.” He continued, unloading his anger on you, just like he always did. “Do you know the risk you made us take? Just because of your senseless actions!”

“James.” Remus called him again, this was going too far.

“Remus, he’s right.” Sirius spat, sharing the same venomous look his brother did, nights ago in the Slytherin’s common room. “She knows too much, and if she opens her big, fucking mouth, it would be the end of us.”

“She’s not going to, right?” James pressed, looking at you dead in the eye, you had never seen him this furious before. “She won’t if she knows what’s good. You’re just a self-centred bitch, you can’t stand people having friends right? Just because you’re a loner and no one fucking likes you—”

You slapped him, all across the cheek, knocking off his glasses and successfully shutting him up. Tears ran down your muddy cheeks, this was it, this was your limit.

“Me? Me?!” It was your turn to shout. “Since I met you, you've done nothing but make my life miserable!” Breathing heavily, chest rising with the unpleasant feeling of resentment and rancor. “I did everything! I tried everything for you to like me! I just wanted to be your fucking friend James. I just wanted to fucking be happy, for once!” 

“So you became an animagus, in the ridiculous attempt to join us?” His tone was mocking, the tone every student used to address you. “Pathetic. I would never like you, you’re just a lying snake. You don’t care about us, or my father, your mother is just marrying him for Godric knows what. You would never be part of my family.”

“I fucking hate you!” You stomped your shoe at the creaking wood flooring. “I fucking hate you James, you’re just an arrogant piece of shit! You think everyone likes you, you think you’re the greatest, but no. You are just a pretentious, smug fucking loser. You’re the one who doesn’t belong to Gryffindor, you’re a bigger snake than I would ever be!”

James pushed you, face red with rage. You collapsed to the ground, groaning in pain, from head to toe your body was sore, every inch of skin screamed in agony.

“Take it back.” He demanded, forcing you to look at him. “You think you hate me? Then I hate you ten fucking times more.” He spat. No one uttered a word. “I wish you were dead, I wish my father had never married your golddigger mother. You don’t deserve my last name, my house, anything!”

“Fuck off!” You replied, kicking him, crawlinging backwards, attempting to move away from him. “Get away from me!” His hand yanked your hair, making you sob.

“You’re fucking dead to me. I would never, ever see you as an equal. You’re nothing, you’re useless. Everything everyone says in school is true. You’re nothing more than a pathetic mistake, and you dare to call me a loser? At least I have friends.” He let go, turning around to pick up his glasses. “Everyone is right; You are just a hindrance. You don’t belong anywhere. 

“One day.” You promised. “One day you will fucking regret those words.”

James laughed, Sirius laughed, Peter was to stunned to speak, and Remus was too tired to even think properly, besides, this wasn’t his battle. Nor of Sirius, or Peter.

In the end, it was always, only you.

Sorry for any mistakes! English is not my first language. I appreciate any feedback!˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ 

[rheiple]

"What's with the face?"

-OneShot

DESCRIPTION: You know he's still the same person, but looking at him right now... Is like facing one of your biggest fears alone.

READER'S PRONOUN: They/Them

PAIRING/s: Yandere!Sun x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere, Possessive Behavior, Murder

...You can't move...

You tried to, but you can't. You keep telling- no, screaming to yourself that you have to move, that you have to get away.

But you can't. You don't know why, or maybe you do. Maybe it's because of the shock, or maybe it's fear that's stopping you from moving. Perhaps it's both, it probably is...

You remembered, that everytime a Character does this in a horror movie, you'd call them stupid and scream at them to move. You didn't understand why they only stand when they see something horrifying...But now you do.

And oh did that made you feel so bad right now. It feels like getting karma, and it probably is.

You tried to look at your surroundings, the floor, the ceiling, anything to get your sight out of him.

But you can't. You can't, because it feels like if you don't look at him for a second, he'll be gone.

You keep staring at him, he's at the center of the main stage. The stage where the Glamrocks perform to the children... Well... The stage where the Glamrocks used to perform to the children. His back is facing you, he looks like he's breathing heavily, like he's done doing the most tiring job... It must be tiring to tear the Glamrocks apart, huh?

You heart started pounding on your chest, you start to sweat more, your eyes widened when he turns around to look at you.

His face, arms, his torso and legs, it has splattered oils on them. Some wires still dangled on his right hand... You don't want to know whose wires are those.

His face, oh his terrifying face. His eyes squinted and pupils dilated, he's grin is so wide it almost looks like it takes up half of his face.

He let's out a pleased and content sigh. "Finally..They're finally out of the way, Starshine... Now you don't have to focus on anything but me."

He wipes the oil from the side of cheek with his wrist, "Isn't this wonderful Starshine? Now you don't have to deal with those pests anymore! You don't have to turn down my invitations or cut our time short together!"

He puts his hand on his chest, clutching it into a fist. He looks at you with a gaze of desperation and hopefulness, "You don't have anymore excuses to leave me behind! We can have all the time to ourselves! Isn't that lovely? Starshine?"

...You didn't want to answer...

You only stared at him, not uttering a word, let alone a sound. You feel many emotions, all at once. First, you're shocked. You're shocked that Sun, one of the most friendliest Animatronics, murdered the Glamrocks, brutally tearing them apart limb by limb. Second, you're scared. You're scared of what will happen to you if he ever got his hands on you. And third... You feel guilty. You feel guilty for turning down all his invitations, spending less time together, and paying less attention to him.

You didn't mean to, really! You tried to make time together, tried to make plans. But everytime you and him talk for even just a few minutes, someone would either call on your fazwatch, or a Glamrock would call you over and tell you to fix them.

Looking back at it now, it's like they didn't want you hanging out with Sun. Like they didn't want you to know something about him.

Every minute of silence is killing you, but you don't know what's really worse. Sun's grin faltering every so slightly, or the silence.

He tilted his head to the side, looking rather slightly nervous that you didn't answer his question, like you didn't agree on what he just said. But that can't be right? You want to spend time with him right?? Why else would you make effort on spending time with him, be kind to him, giving him affections and such! You obviously wanted this right!?

Finally, he asked you, "...Why aren't you answering Starshine? Cat caught your tongue?" He nervously chuckles...

... Still no answer.

"..Starshine... Why aren't you answering? Don't you want to spend time together with only me? It's not like you tried to have any excuse to leave me right?...Right?"

A few minutes of silence passed, and you finally got your voice back... But you didn't really expect the words that came out of your mouth.

"...You killed them.."  You said in a shaky voice, feeling tears starting to run down your cheeks, why do you have to cry now?

He looks at you surprised, why is he surprised? He's acting like he didn't brutally tear someone apart!

His eyes widen when he sees you crying. Why are you crying? Oh please don't cry! He doesn't like seeing you make any negative expressions! Is this overwhelming for you Dear?

Oh, perhaps it is! But don't worry, Sunny's here to help you!

He slowly started walking towards you. Your heart started pounding in your chest so hard you could hear it. He didn't say anything, only looking at you with a unhinged smile. He didn't bother stepping aside at the broken Monty, he stomped his foot on his broken head, you could tell it was intentional.

But what are you still doing here? Why are you just staring back at him? Why aren't you moving?? You need to leave.

You took a step back...

... And unfortunately, you fell back.

You look down at your legs. You tried to move your legs, but you can't. Why can't you move your legs? Why does your legs feel heavy-

Your face paled when you feel hands on your waist. You're immediately pulled into a very tight hug.

One of his hands let go of your waist to gently pet your head, "There there Starshine, please don't cry.. I promise it'll be all over soon, everything will be different by the time you wake up, but I promise you Starshine, that i'll be there when you do.." He comforted you. 

It would have comforted you, if you weren't in this ugly situation.

You start to see black dots in your vision, you find it hard to breathe... You can't tell if you're going to die or not...

..But if you're being honest, you wish to not wake up.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If there's any wrong grammar and misspellings please let me know,it would be a big help and i'll be sure to fix it quickly! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this!!

[johnsamericano]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 12:

ℓєє мαяк

23 days of NCT masterlist.

taglist: @notbeforelong @mrcarbonatedmilk @unknown5tar @whathamelon @ajhdr @curieouscapt @silent-potato @gjheaaa

warnings: baby daddy mark, hidden pregnancy (?, tooth rotting.

“Dude, isn't that y/n?” Mark’s old friend, John, pointed at you.

Yeah, that was most definitely his ex. You were holding a small girl between your arms, helping her reach for a box of lucky charms. You looked just as beautiful as three years ago, even more, he daresay.

“Go talk to her.” His friend elbowed him. “I’ll go get the meat, maybe you can invite her to our barbecue.”

“We haven't seen each other in a while, don't you think it'll be a little too weird?”

“Go for it, I know you're still hung up on her.”

“How...?”

“I heard your last girl complaining about how you called y/n’s name while having sex with her, it was hilarious, to be honest.” Mark punched him in the arm, earning a small groan from the tall man. “But seriously, though, you broke up with her to focus on your career. Now that you have a stable job, what's stopping you from getting her back?”

“I don't know, man...”

“Give it a try, I'll be with the butcher if you need me.” He winked at the Canadian boy, making his way to another aisle.

Mark took a deep breath before his feet finally started moving. You were placing the small girl in the shopping cart’s seat, tickling her tummy while at it.

“Y/n?” Your eyes almost came out of their caves as you heard his voice.

“Mark...” You stared at him with wide eyes, looking back and forth between the little girl and him. “I thought you’d moved back to Canada.”

“I came back a year ago.” He fiddled uncomfortably with the rings adorning his fingers. “I really wanted to contact you, but since things between us were a little complicated when I left...” By complicated he meant breaking your heart and leaving a day after ending things between you.

“It’s really okay, Mark. No hard feelings.” You smiled sweetly at him, your pretty eyes turning into half moons.

“And who’s this little one? Your niece?” He caressed the top of the girl’s head, who wasn’t even aware of his presence, too focused on getting rid of the wrapping around the chocolate you’d just bought her.

“Actually-”

“Mommy, I need help!” Mark froze.

“Oh, sure sweetie.” You tone completely changed when addressing her. “Mark, this is my daughter, EunHee. Say hi, baby.”

“Hi, Mark.” She extended her hand as you tore the wrapping of the chocolate bar open. His surprised expression turned into a big smile, covering her small hand with his significantly bigger one. “Look, mom. His cheeks are just like mine!” She poked Mark’s cheekbones.

You could almost feel a drop of sweat rolling down your forehead.

“Wait, you're right.” The Canadian man pointed out as your daughter smiled at him. “That's crazy.” Thank God Mark was so naive. “So where’s the father of this little bean?”

‘Right in front of me.’ You thought.

“She doesn't...”

“Oh, sorry. It must've been hard raising her on your own.” He reassuringly placed a hand on your arm. “How old is she?”

“Uhm, s-she’s-”

“I’m this old.” EunHee interrupted, showing her three small fingers.

You hoped Mark’s brain capacity wouldn't be enough to connect the dots. But you had to admit, it was pretty obvious.

“Wow, you're so big.” It was heart-warming watching your daughter interact with her father for the first time, even if they didn't know the truth about each other. “So, we're having a barbecue at my place today. There’s always room for someone else, and you can bring EunHee if you’d like. My address is still the same.”

“I’ll think about it.” You handed the chocolate bar back to your daughter, who didn’t even take a second to eat up the whole thing.

“Alright, I guess I’ll see you then, maybe.”

(...)

“Mark’s hitting on a mom!” Yuta mocked him, causing the whole garden to erupt into laughter.

“And what’s wrong with that? She isn’t married.”

“Mark, you literally just met with her again after three years, slow down.” Jaehyun interceded, eyes stuck to his phone.

“Guys, stop messing with Mark. He's always loved y/n, so let him be.” Johnny spoke from the grill, turning around a steak. “Besides, I saw the little girl. She looks a lot like Mark, so I bet no one would be able to tell they're not actually related.”

“How old did you say she was?”

“Three.”

“Okay, don’t be mad at me, but did you ever have sex with her without protection?”

“What are you trying to say, Haechan?” Taeil asked bitterly.

“Just think about it, guys. It makes sense.” While his friends discussed the possibility of him being a dad, Mark’s head was rather busy trying to remember every little detail from the last time he was intimate with you.

But as much as he tried, he couldn't remember having worn a condom. And as far as he knew, you weren't on the pill.

The doorbell cut his string of thoughts, snapping him back into reality.

“I’ll get the door.” He didn't expect you to be behind it, holding your -and possibly his- daughter’s hand tightly. “Oh, hey.”

He seemed uncomfortable, had you made a mistake in accepting his offer?

“Hi, I couldn't find someone to look after this little monster. I hope your friends won't mind.”

“Not at all, they love kids.” He stared intensely at your daughter, finally noticing those similarities Johnny mentioned before. “Come in.”

He guided you all the way to the backyard, everyone greeting you with a big hug.

“Nice to see you again, y/n.” Johnny murmured, patting your back.

“She’s like a little doll!” Jaehyun squeaked excitedly, sitting your daughter on his lap. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“I’m EunHee.” He cooed at her high-pitched voice tone. “Your dimples are pretty.”

“Thank you.”

The boys seemed completely comfortable with your daughter, fighting with Jaehyun, who wouldn't let go of her.

“Can I have a word with you?” Mark came from behind you, making you jolt at his sudden presence.

“Sure.”

He walked you to the kitchen, away from the noisy men outside. He anxiously twisted his hands, trying to find the correct words to demand for the truth.

“What’s wrong?” You asked worriedly, taking a step closer to him.

“Is EunHee mine?” Well, you were definitely not expecting that. You thought that after meeting him at the supermarket, your secret was safe. Apparently, it wasn’t. “By the look on your face, I’m guessing she is.”

He groaned in frustration, rubbing his face with the palms of his hands.

“I’m sorry for keeping it a secret all this years. I won’t force you to step in and take responsibility for her, we can just leave and pretend this never-”

“What are you even talking about? Why wouldn’t I want to take care of my own daughter?” The frown on his face deepened. “Did you know you were pregnant when we broke up?”

Should you tell him the truth?

“I...” He looked at you expectantly.

Of course you should tell him the truth, he deserves it.

“Yes.” His heart dropped, guilt filling every inch of his body. “I didn’t want to hold you back. It would’ve been unfair for me to use that as an excuse to stop you from leaving.”

“So you’re saying I missed three years of my daughter’s childhood because you didn’t want to be selfish?” With every word his voice grew louder, shouting by the end of the sentence and catching the other guests' attention.

“Mark, we should talk about this another day, when we’re alone.” You tried leaving, but his hand clutched your wrist tightly.

“No.” You could admire tears sparkling in his eyes. “I don't want to miss another second of her.”

“Mommy?” Just then, EunHee walked into the kitchen, holding Yuta’s hand. “I heard screaming, are you okay?” Mark nodded at his friend, as if signaling him he could leave.

“Yes, I’m alright, sweetie.” You swung her up in your arms, coming closer to Mark who had the sudden urge to hold his baby. “Are you sure about this? There’s no backing out.” You mouthed, feeling a pinch of relief as he nodded. “Baby, I’d like you to meet someone very special.”

“Who?”

“This is Mark...” She looked at you with her small eyebrows furrowed, she’d already met Mark. “Your dad.”

Mark honestly felt like crying, your daughter smiling excitedly as she urged you to put her down, letting her father hold her close to his chest.

“Mommy said you were lost.” He felt so warm inside.

“I promise not to get lost again, alright?” His lips pressed a kiss into her forehead, already enamored by the cheerful giggles erupting from EunHee.

You observed them with regret. If you'd told Mark you were pregnant before he left, perhaps he wouldn't be on the verge of tears right now, perhaps your daughter wouldn't have had to deal with her classmates’ non-stopping questions about her father.

“Y/n?” Mark called out for you. “C-can we have a family hug?” He moved his hand invitingly, making space for you to join.

You walked into his arms, every negative feeling vanishing as Mark embraced you, both of you trying not to sob.

“What do you want to do now?” He let go of you, using both of his arms to embrace EunHee.

“Make up for the lost time.”

[sunnysunoo]

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

__

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

__

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

__

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

__

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

__

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

__

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

__

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.

[shes-a-gryffindor]

Of Apples and Psychological Lapses

A @jilytoberfest submission. Prompt #12 - One overhearing something they're not supposed to.

That day, on an otherwise uneventful morning, it started with an apple, of all things.

James Potter sat straddling the bench at the Gryffindor table, poring over what Lily supposed was a textbook, elbow on a knee with an apple in his hand.

Only half listening to Mary’s recitation of the ingredients for the Draught of Living Death that they were supposed to be brewing later that day, she chanced upon another look at him…. the muscles in his jaw jumped as he bit into his apple, and as she watched him laugh at something she couldn’t hear, Lily found herself wondering whether he’d always had that dimple in his cheek… before she’d had the chance to mentally scold herself for her apparent loss of self-control, James caught her eye; grinning roguishly, he winked at her before taking another bite…

“You’re doing it again,” said Mary,

Lily’s neck snapped so quickly away from James she thought she might have whiplash, “doing what?”

“Making love eyes at Potter” she sniggered.

“Don’t be daft,” responded Lily dismissively, “I was not giving him love eyes” she added, silently cursing the blush now creeping up her neck, “…anyway, the ingredients…for today, you were reading them…” a lame attempt at a change in subject.

Mary smirked at her for a moment before returning to her textbook; relieved that she’d been let off the hook, Lily focused intently on Mary’s recitation, despite already knowing the ingredients from memory, she was determined not to look over again at the group of boys sitting only a few feet away from them.

Thinking they’d get a head start on the swarm of students that would soon be filing out of the hall, they packed their books and downed the last of their pumpkin juice. As she stood, Lily glanced quickly over at James again, he was in animated conversation with Sirius, the apple hanging loosely from his fingers at his side… and a ridiculous idea crossed her mind.

Deliberating over it in the seconds it took them to reach the spot where he was sitting, before she’d even really decided upon it, she’d snatched the apple out from his hand, twisting her head round to wink back at him, before taking a bite of what was now her apple.

“Shut up,” she smirked at Mary, who was looking at her with raised eyebrows.

The rest of the day continued in a similar fashion; she felt his eyes burning into the back of her head during Transfiguration, then found herself loitering after class, trying to chance perhaps walking out at the same time as him… before realising she was behaving like an idiot and walking quickly out alone.

History of Magic was, in particular, a challenge. It was, as usual, rather impossible to focus on the monotony that was Professor Binns' lesson.

Serenely unaware that no one seemed the least bit interested in his thorough breakdown of wand legends through time, he droned on… “The Death Stick, The Wand of Destiny…” and by the time the lesson was over Lily and James had shared several silent exchanges across the classroom.

Potions that afternoon was perhaps, although short-lived, her only reprieve. Lily was quite comfortable in her element, happily brewing her Draught of Living Death. Having already reached the ideal halfway stage, she smiled contentedly down at the smooth, black currant-colored liquid in her cauldron.

Just as she was about to start chopping her roots, she caught James, brow furrowed, curiously observing her potion, before looking back at his own - which appeared to be eliciting a sort of blue-ish haze, not horrible but certainly not what it should have been doing by that point… better, if nothing else, than Peter’s… who was looking more distressed by the minute at the now foul smelling, brown concoction bubbling in his cauldron.

“Care to share your expertise, Evans?” Asked James, grinning over at her. With his sleeves rolled up over his elbows, his forearms were tense as he shifted his body weight onto them, leaning over the table toward her… and Lily thought quietly, that the dimple in his cheek was obviously not the only thing she’d failed to notice.

“Afraid not, Potter,” she responded, “see If I told you, I’d have to kill you… although, could be doing myself a favour there,” she added, smirking at him.

“Better not then, otherwise you might actually get some peace and quiet… can’t have that,” he said seriously.

“Merlin forbid,” she mumbled, in mock exasperation.

“Merlin forbid,” began Sirius, “all this terrible flirting makes me throw up in my cauldron.”

Mary and Peter burst into a fit of giggles, even Remus, it seemed, found it amusing, while James just grinned down at his cauldron.

“Your potion can’t get any worse than it already is Black… I say try it,” Lily mocked.

Sirius, however, had cast his attention elsewhere.

From the corner of the next table over, having apparently overheard the entire exchange, Severus was looking darkly over at them. His eyes flickered briefly between James and Lily before returning to his potion. She knew she’d been shamelessly flirting with him, for days, weeks really… what she hadn’t realised was how blatantly obvious it was becoming, to everyone even beyond their friends; blushing furiously and feeling rather sheepish, she scowled at Sirius, who was still grinning smugly over at Severus, before returning to her own potion.

As she made the last of her rounds that evening, her mind once again wandered to what was fast becoming something, or rather, someone, she thought about much too often. He’d looked a little too smug after catching her at dinner - watching, as a Hufflepuff in the year below them asked for his help with a Transfiguration essay that weekend… in addition to self-control, she was now apparently also losing her common sense… it was perfectly acceptable that he help another student with an essay, why should this bother her…? But honestly an essay over the weekend, she thought… ask the bloke out and be done with it, what a stupid excuse… Surely he knew the girl fancied him.

The sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought of them, tucked away in a quiet corner of the library poring over an essay together, was extremely disconcerting, this sudden interest in who he was spending time with… He’d made his existence impossible to ignore for the better part of six years, perhaps now that he wasn’t asking her out at every turn her mind was playing that stupid game, the one where you only want something because it’s not as easy to get anymore, not because you genuinely want it… some psychological lapse in judgement… yes that must be it; so trying to force her thoughts back into some semblance of order, Lily resolved to get a grip.

She met Remus in the dungeons and together they checked the last of the corridors before heading back up to the common room, chatting about weekend plans, their upcoming exams and whether they had anything planned for the summer holidays before their seventh year.

Lily was careful to steer the conversation in another direction anytime it got a little too close to James, so she wasn’t exactly thrilled (maybe a little bit) when they stepped through the portrait hole to find James, Sirius and Peter sitting alone in the common room. With a warm smile, Remus bid her goodnight and went to join his friends in front of the fire.

“All right, Evans?” Asked James, grinning that lone-dimpled grin as she walked past.

Shooting him a quick tight lipped smile, she trudged up the staircase to her dormitory with an infuriatingly pink face; she had just reached the top of the staircase, however, when she heard Sirius snigger -

“Reckon she might actually prefer you to the giant squid now.”

Failing in her resolve to get a grip before she’d even begun, and apparently not above eavesdropping now either, Lily stopped and stood there at the top of the staircase, dead silent, craning her neck to listen to them.

“What?” Asked James, “What makes you say that?” In his voice, Lily heard a hint of what she thought sounded like hope.

“Are you daft? Or do you just want to hear it all back?”

“A bit of both I think,” chuckled Remus.

“Did you not see Snivelly’s face in potions? Even he can tell she fancies you mate,” said Sirius, dryly.

“Looked a bit put out, didn’t he?” Chuckled James.

“A bit? Looked like he didn’t know whether to cry or hex you,” chortled Peter, “d’you reckon him and Evans… you know-”

“What? Asked James, cutting him off, “went out?”

“Nah,” answered Sirius quickly, “who’d want to go out with that? Didn’t they know each other from before school, or something?”

“Yeah… they were friends,” said James, with finality in his voice.

“‘Till he showed his true colours,” scoffed Sirius, “…bit naive of her though, don’t you think? To think that he’d be anything but the slimy git he is.”

Lily had half a mind to go down and give Sirius a piece of her mind, until…

“Nah,” said James, “I reckon she knew who he was the whole time… she just chooses to see the good in everyone, y’know? Even a slimy git like Snivellus.” When no one said anything, he added, “Personally, I don’t think she should change that about herself.”

There was silence… and then someone made a dry-retching sound like they were throwing up, followed by scuffling and a series of thuds, “gerrof!” Came Sirius’s muffled voice, over Peter and Remus’s laughter.

Deciding she’d heard enough, Lily tiptoed quietly into her dorm; and as she pulled the scarlet hangings of her four-poster around her that night, she thought perhaps her interest in James Potter wasn’t a psychological lapse in judgment at all.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

any tips from overthinking/being too insecure in a relationship? my thoughts parkour from 'oh he must be busy' to 'fuck does he not like me anymore?' and then i cant stop thinking about how doomed we are and how we're not talking as fun as we used to. its selfish i know, he could just be having a bad day, which im interpreting as 'oh he doesnt want to talk to me'. absolutely the worst thing to do tbh. i dont want to nag him by telling him this bothers me bc i feel like ill end up smothering him and worrying him and then he'll just be frustrated every time he talks to me. fuck im so anxious right now haha i really wish i could make myself understand not every day is going to be as perfect as the last. i hate how terribly touchy i get when i get into a relationship and how obsessive i become, it brings out the worst in me really.

Two things to keep in mind: communication and self-reflection.

I don't think here's anything wrong with talking to the other person about how you're feeling. You feel how you feel, you know it's irrational, and they might not be aware of it unless you speak up. Ask them what they're comfortable with and what would make them feel smothered. You need to find some common ground between how much attention they want and how much you want.

If you wonder how his day went, ask him.

Don't put words and feeling into his mouth. Ask him. How do you feel about this? Does this bother you? Do you like this? Tell him how you are. "This is how I act. This is how I react to things." People are all different. Some might find you clingy and some might find you not clingy enough. You can't know unless you talk about it.

Second, what kind of person do you want to be in a relationship? You need to make steps on your own to be that person. If you don't like things about yourself, break the cycle. Find the pattern, recognize the thought process, cut it off. Become aware of your reactions and find your ways to feel calm down - meditation, distraction, discussion, work through the process and rethink. Find your solutions. Have your own hobbies and interests to pivot to if you feel that you're spiraling / overthinking.

You need to be your own person before entering a relationship. You cannot expect someone to fill your flaws or excuse them. If they do, that's a gift, not a right.

It's true that we all feel these kinds of unpleasant feelings at some point. There's nothing wrong with it unless you let it consume your judgement and negatively influence your life. Anxiousness, insecurity, etc - these are responses / reactions, developed over multiple experiences. I don't know what your previous relationships were like (friendships + family count too). Perhaps there was a lot of questioning your worth when it came to people you considered important to you. We all expect those people to reciprocate what we give them, but sometimes they don't.

It's difficult, letting go of the actions of others, but I think it's important to do so. He's not those people. People grow, change, evolve over time. Learning about others in the context of themselves (and not comparing them to others) is important.

That goes for you too.

You are not less if he doesn't like you. You're not less even if nobody likes you. You are. Life is finding about who you are, all the different imperfect versions. I don't believe anyone needs to be a "perfect" person. Rather, the goal is to be someone that you are proud of, even despite your faults. Remember, it takes time and making mistakes, so treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you give others / want to receive.