#what if literally it doesnt matter and anyone is valid as long as their marginalized experience felt seen

[fruitsofhell]

As someone who (adjusts collar of non-existent suit) is earning their degree in diagnosing characters with mental illness*, it is actually a very bad idea to do that with any sense of solidity whatsoever. The "science" of psychology and psychopathology in itself is a mess and always the more you look into things the more obvious it is that it's all a mess of spectrums and such, but then when dealing with fiction there's an entirely new dimension to it. That being that the character is not real and serves a distinct narrative purpose.

*I'm literally just one semester into a psych degree

In case of writing a character whom you know you want to make mentally ill it is always best to just start with personal traits exaggerated into neurotic traits and then after letting that stew seeing if it fits a disorder. If it does, look at that and what other traits are organized around/comorbid with it and see if there's anything else that would be compelling for the character. If it doesn't, consider those typical surrounding factors and reactions of popular disorders but also legit sometimes people just have shits fucked soup disorders, in like every category in the DSM there's a "vague general problems disorder" diagnosis that fits a broad category. You are first and foremost building a character and a complex psychological profile should not be a mold to fit them in but a research of human behavior that can be used to enhance the character. And also maybe to make sure if you've already settled on something psychologically complicated or stigmatized for a character you don't play out old harmful stereotypes.

In case of headcanoning or adapting a pre-existing character its even more important to look at what's there as a completely open book without creator confirmation of anything. And even when a creator says yes or no to a certain specific disorder as inspiration for a character, it lowkey doesn't mean shit because a good character is not a gijinka of the dsm as I say, they're a guy who has experiences that hopefully coalesce into the portrait of a certain mental illness but which are bound to heavily overlap with like atleast 5 others. Even if a character is written to be something really specific it is just inevitable that more ideas are open, and more ideas should be encouraged without diminishing the intended portrayal cause I mean it's not like anyone's not dieing for good rep.

Please be open and patient with your fellow mentally ill fiction enjoyers as well as sensitive to the socially constructed nature of the field of psychopathology when you start giggling and kicking your feet thinking of how fun it is to put blorbo in the label box your relate to.

[void-official]

“Micro-identities/’Mogai/ya’ll literally just be making shit up now” OK. i’m sorry im stuck on this and this is the last i’ll talk about it today bc fuck it. I’m gonna be Real for a second. And it’s going to be awkward, and it’s going to be long, and I’m gonna Lose Follower bc defending micro-labels is Cringe. Whatever. I get it. go ahead and unfollow. The rest of you who actually care. and in the spirit of Pride Month, as someone who feels like they’re almost never allowed to express Pride in who I am? Here we go.

I’m bi. Most of you can probably tell, im not exactly subtle about it.

I’m bi. But

my actual interest in dating or having sex with Anyone has been pretty much negligible for my entire life. I just don’t Care. I never have. Dating and sex seem like a hassle to me and I don’t feel like i’m particularly missing out by not taking part in them. It doesn’t negate my enjoyment of peoples bodies necessarily, nor does it mean I never get crushes on people it just means at the end of the day, my desire to go out there and find people to have sex with and/or date has always been like. really really low. Even if the opportunity was there. And i’ve come to terms with this. I accept this about myself.

There is actually a great deal of overlap between bi and ace identity. all those ‘weird little terms’ like ‘demisexual’ you guys hate so much were originally created for people like me, who feel like they are fundamentally not allowed to call themselves something straightforward like ‘bi’ (or straight/gay/lesbian) without people inevitably screaming at them for Doing It Wrong. So they can describe how they feel in a brief word, instead of having to go through the pains of explaining the complex relationship they have with sexual attraction to every fucking person who asks what their sexuality is.

saying ‘well you should just be able to say bi and leave it at that’ doesn’t actually account for the experiences i have when i Just Say i’m Bi. Even me Just Saying ‘im bi’ i’ve always gotta deal with harassment from people whoget weirdly agressive about -why- i’m not out there fucking or dating the people i claim im attracted to. Am I a prude? a Tease? Just an ‘Acey’ lying for brownie points? Am I Actually Just Traumatized? (They ask in a really aggressive condescending way, like thats actually how you should talk to someone you think is potentially traumatized) But by the standards of this discourse, i’m not allowed to call myself ace either, because then people are going to yell at me that if I experience the tiniest smidgen of sexual attraction or romantic inclination sometimes, or post pictures of sexy video game characters, clearly i cant be that either  I literally can’t win. there is not a thing I can call myself that won’t earn me the ire of LGBT people on tumblr who think they know me and what i should call myself better than I do. And believe me i hate talking about this More than you do. I’d rather just shut up and let people Assume i’m whatever they want me to be sometimes but then mutuals i thought i trusted will inevitably openly make fun of the people who outwardly call themselves demisexual or whatever microlabel is trendy to shit on currently, and usually i bite my tongue cause at the end of the day its Just Words, right? I don’t even use that word, right? Its just words and some words can be interchangeable and not everyone knows what they mean which can feel alienating and unnecessary to people who don’t understand them. I -get- why people ‘cringe’ when they see like 10 terms they don’t understand in someones bio. why do you think i don’t even list anything about my sexuality in mine other than my pronouns?

but I always remember like. just bc that label isnt For Me, it doesn’t mean there might be someone in a similar position to me who doesnt feel comfortable just calling themeslves bi, and prefers the label ‘demisexual biromantic’ who feels like that phrase puts them in a place of peace and contentment, and I wouldn’t argue with them about it. Bc thats their fucking choice. Them being happy with who they are takes priority over my personal opinions of the language they use. same with gender nonconforming people who dont want call themselves trans or nonbinary. Thats fucking Fine. I’m not telling you to have to use the same words as me if you don’t feel like they’re necessary or accurate. I literally don’t give a rats ass what words you use to identify yourself so long as they’re not being used to hurt other people. I just want to be able to have Words, for myself, that describe how I feel, that don’t result in people treating my entire identity like some shitty discourse Meme. And right now I have none. No matter what I call myself, people choose tell me it’s not accurate, or its too complicated.

As for all these shitty fucking posts about people ‘forcing’ young people to take up labels. This. This doesn’t actually happen? (OK I won’t say it doesn’t happen ever on an individual level? but that its not something enforced or encouraged by any group as a practice, and that distinction is necessary, bc saying it happens on a large scale literally implies predatory intentions from a massive group of people instead of members of the group behaving poorly as individuals)

Demisexual people as a whole have literally never told me i had to call myself demi just bc my sense of how i experience attraction might be similar to theirs. Ace people as a whole don’t usually tell people whose lack of sexual attraction is caused by trauma or who havent developed enough to experience sexual attraction that they -have- to call themselves ace. Most Bi or Pan people are fine with the fact that their labels have a lot of overlap and that the line between these things can be murky, they arent actually constantly ready to tear each others throats out over whose terminology is correct. All of this shit is made up by hateful people, or people taking a few examples of poor behavior out of context as an excuse to shit on everyone else, and well meaning people keep falling for it bc it -seems- helpful to be. reactive. I guess? to people you’re constantly told are hurtful to the causes of marginalized people. but im telling you. its not true. literally nobody forces you to call yourself any of these words, they just Exist out there in case you want them, and if you think thats somehow a threat to other peoples identities or to Minors just like, conceptually, for existing, for being Too Specific, im sorry but what other word is there for your reaction than phobic? If an individual derails a conversation about Y to be like “You didn’t include _X_” or tries to force their views on a minor who hasn’t developed a stable sense of identity yet, that is an Individual behaving in an inappropriate manner, not an invitation for you to throw the whole group under the bus. I hate to tell you but if you’re using examples of individuals on tumblr who say stupid shit, everyone on tumblr says stupid shit and butts in conversationally where they’re not welcome. Universally. It’s how tumblr is formatted. Trust me, I have like 4 viral posts going right now.

i’m just tired of it at this point. im not cool with people who stretch to make fun of micro-labels all the time and think they’re being woke allies or w/e to the ‘real LGBTs’.  Even if a lot of the time I personally don’t care for all the labels and wouldn’t choose them for myself, I still feel like If you can’t treat people like individuals and assess their character on a case by case basis, i don’t trust you. I don’t like people who stereotype and LGBT people are not immune to this behavior. Like i don’t say it often but it fucking hurts, and it hurts other people I’m close to who I know have similar complicated identities and struggle coming up w/words to describe themselves that the whole of tumblr LGBT+ will approve of and agree with (clearly an impossibility because there are still people who don’t want bi and trans to even be in there). I might tolerate the constant jokes and not block on principle of knowing not everyone has ingested and thought about this discourse in the same way I have, and im a big tough adult, ultimately i can take it. but inside i know no matter what i call myself, if i were earnest with some of you about how i feel I’d probably be just another ‘special snowflake Delusional mogai creep’ to you, and i can’t deny that fucking hurts to think about. I try not to talk about it openly bc it embarrasses me, bc i dont think my sexuality should have to be battle ground for discourse for people who are supposed to be on my side. But there it is. I think most of this discourse is Trash, and clearly not for the reason most people on here say its trash, not bc theres ‘too many specific words, y’all just be Making Shit Up’ but because so many of you are more caught up in the words than the substance of the arguments or the needs of people whose experiences might have a lot of overlap with yours regardless of what word they’re using to describe it.

Anyway. happy pride to LGBTQA+ people who still dont really feel pride in themselves or their identity. I’d say you’re valid, but you don’t need my validation or anyone elses to understand that you’re a person deserving of respect and compassion. You exist as who you are, and you have to come to terms with who that is, regardless of whether or not you feel like you’re accepted for it. if not pride then, settle for confidence in who you are.

[bbhl-incporated]

do you know why my opinions or anything I say as a matter of fact, don’t matter as long as I’m a hetero lol. I could say anything in the world, for example, cake is better than pie, but as soon as ppl find out I’m hetero, my cake vs pie opinion is not valid lol. Literally everything is invalidated as long as you’re straight, and I’m not saying anything, I’m simply asking. I’ve just seen a thread on twitter about something and they went “cishets opinions don’t matter! Next!” I’m just confused...,

I had written a long answer but tumblr ducked up sooooo here I am rewriting this..This is just a common thing people say and 9 times out of 10, or really 29 times out of 30, they are just being facetious. Like of course cishet opinions still matter; they comprise whether we like it or not the majority of the population and they are largely in power and control all kinds of things: media, politics, businesses, etc. But it's because of that that so many noncishet people say things like that. That joke doesnt change that reality but hey at least for that brief moment in time they don't feel oppressed or as if their voices aren't being heard.I personally think it's rude to say that to an individual person about something innocuous so I wouldn't do it and I don't think people *should* do it. There is actually a term for oppressed people having validity in making gross generalizations and jokes about groups they are oppressed or marginalized by; I forget it at the moment because that's not my focus or field of study, but still it yields insight into why "white people jokes" in the U.S. have standing.My advice really is to just not take it personally. Some people are loud and annoying and want to make someone else feel marginalized like they have felt marginalized and that's not valid; some people just wanna keep the joke going and that's fine; but either way it'll manifest in a similar fashion, and more likely than not it's not some personal attack. Idk how old you are anom but if you're a teenager especially, I say the less power you give to random people on social media over your own emotions or self perceptions, the better and the healthier.I'm not going to turn this ask into some "lol look at this cishet and their hurt feelings lol so dumb" post because I hate those posts and it's a bad response for someone who legitimately just does not get it and isn't hostile (like you anon). If you have seen what I am talking about, I'm sorry. I hate seeing those posts myself. I try not to support them but I've been in some holes myself so I may have before.Anyways yeah it's just people fucking around most of the time and it's nothing to worry about. This isn't to say, "toughen up kid!" because human psychology doesn't work like that but it is to say, work on how much power you give to anyone on social media (ESPECIALLY TWITTER) over yourself. Moreover, don't argue with them, they'll just be louder and keep up more of a fuss and harass you or keep posting about you to mock you (I have seen this happen too many times), just leave it alone when someone responds like that. They may even get more supposmrt against you than you have people in your corner, and that is overwhelming. In the long run, a confrontation isn't worth the potential dragon you might be poking lol so just leave them alone.So I will talk a bit about my interaction with Twitter for a bit so you know where I'm coming from. Personally I leave being active on Twitter alone for like 300/365 days of the year, maybe even more than that, because despite being black, female and pan .... that shit also makes you a target on Twitter too and it's just not worth dealing with the fuck shit. It's bad intra, inter and extra-fandoms. I like EXO and the EXO Twitter buzz and Twitter accts the members and group have but ... :/ everything people do badly they do worse on Twt, so I'm mega turned off. maybe I will check updates more often since it's closing in on comeback season but as for posting and engaging, nuh uh.As an addendum, people will often say the emotional impact of such jokes dont matter because of oppression dynamics and whatnot and while I lately disagree with that, I can't really force anyone else to adopt my viewpoint, so there really isn't anything to do but just ... accept that that's how some people deal I guess. I hope that you have a good day and a pleasant web browsing experience from now on bub!