#what if i jumped off a cliff for real
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
saw the marco post ... that's really the end end, huh 😐
#borussia dortmund#marco reus#one last sad *you're my dad. boogie woogie woogie* 😭😭😭#what if i jumped off a cliff for real
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
'divorced zukka is toxic' 'divorced zukka is unnecessary angst' you fundamentally misunderstand the entire concept i cant help you <3
#i get it they are in love but also. IT IS SO MUCH MORE NUANCED THAN THAT BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT ROLE THEY PLAY IN A POST WAR WORLD#wouldnt it be so funny if we started real discourse over this?#oh you think this ship that has been living in my head for four years deserves to be happy? JUMP OFF A CLIFF FR#jk anyway it is very clear which divorced zukka dislikers dont even know what its about they just see the phrase and make assumptions#but peace n luv <3 <3 <3 <3 it is definitely not for everyone#divorced zukka
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
CW: Blood and minor body horror
—
*Angstifies your WWDITS*
#I feel like the real finale will still be worse#if this happens I’m jumping off a cliff#I cried drawing this sketch#vampire guillermo#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#wwdits guillermo#WWDITS angst#nandermo#Nandermo angst#angst#wwdits fanart#fanart#Guillermo de La Cruz fanart#body horro tw#body horrow cw#sketch#digital artist#artists on tumblr
142 notes
·
View notes
Text
whatevers wrong with this man i like it
#i didnt expect to like touchstarved from what id seen from its fandom but when i finally tried the demo i was pleasantly surprised#i looked at the meta first cos i do things backwards and. man. what a good reminder that the most vocal fans also are the most stupid#girl you are misinterpreting The Text so badly that what you consider the subtext is suspicious#i felt bad for the leaps i was making from a single prologue but i see you people are jumping straight off the cliff with nothing so nvm#anyway leander do you want to fuck all your friends. do you want to fuck all your friends that hate you leander#i fear them making a green character associated with flowers snakes ouroboros masks and 8s was specifically an attack against me.#if only i hadn't found this like a year before official release. got dam#i could and would go on but the nurse has arrived with my sedative#its actually genuinely hard to pick a favourite they all have aspects i really like so far#at first kuras' subdued personality kind of washed off me but then his ending to the prologue was v fun and put him in a different light#wtf a vn with characters that are all hits for me. unfair#i love that u can ask them all about each other at the end there. love how its modelling its characters social fumbles#in particular given everything the promo material says about leander and vere and how they talk about each other#u can get a picture of a very fumbled situation there lmaooo between leanders savior complex and veres inability to set down real boundarie#butttt you know them all for less than a day... i wanna know what happened there
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
just finished episode 52 of xinghancanlan and i’m about to rip zisheng a real one. oh niaoniao you cannot let him back in GO OFF WITH YUAN SHANJIAN HE MAY HAVE A POTTY MOUTH BUT HE is literally just hanging out…. and hang out forever he will by ur side if u just let the guy. pov i am deeply angry on shaoshang’s behalf (i am her dad or her boyfriend)
#gelmo#i got fired up to write for the first time in a while i’m soooooo mad zisheng you are so fucking stupid#she would have given you the world and she tried to#she gave you so many goddamn chances to yap and yet yap you did not#instead u jumped off a fucking cliff after she RODE IN ON A DAMN HORSE AND SAVED YOUR HOE ASS#AND THEN WHAT DO YOU DO. GROW A BEARD?????#he looked ugly as shit for five years meanwhile yuan shanliang is still clean shaven and beautiful kpop boycore#cmon love choose something real (guy who knows that they will get back together at the end)#guy who will hope ANYWAY because THAT is faith (the faith zisheng couldn’t have in shaoshang)#that is what makes him a loser. that is why i do not accept#i’m bouldering tmr i should go to bed#or i will fall asleep on da wall. and then what
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i got such shit sleep bc of that wild ass dream/nightmare and now im all foggy and hazy but not in a fun way and i have shit to do i hate it
#whatever im gonna drink abt it later then go to bed at 8 pm and sleep for 12 hours#why does my brain torture me this way#it was a perfectly fine dream too. bizarre but thats all my dreams. then suddenly i was thrust into hell#it wasnt even scary i just have these dreams where i get to see my parents again and in them theres this sense of#‘i was gone for a long time but im here now’ and i just know it’s my brain processing the denial+bargaining stage of grief#but i feel such joy and relief for like 5 seconds only to wake up to my fucking miserable real life and then i want to jump off a cliff#and i can never get back to sleep bc i can only handle seeing that shit every so often. and the sleep isnt even restorative so whats the#fucking point#jesus christ ive never been so miserable in my fucking life i wish id just DIE in my sleep instead. thatd be awesome
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
jump off a cliff
hi Roxy Trans Woman Anon. unfortunately i live in ohio and as such its flat as fuck here so if you really truly want me to do that then you gotta buy me a plane ticket to somewhere with mountains. if you dont have the cash then get to finding it girlboss !! that coin wont bag itself !!! xoxo
#mad cause im right and im also tearing you to shreds in my friends notes arent you#you dont have a real argument.#1.) youre repeating the same thing over and over rather than actually adding on to whatever take you think you have#2.) when you do say anything else its an insult rather than anything of fucking value#3.) you resort to suicide baiting when you know youve lost an argument. nothing more can be said and youre mad that no one cares#and tbh this isnt exactly a great look for you! telling a trans person to jump off a cliff in the name of. what. trans people? trans women?#your colors are showing and theyre fucking ugly lmao#roxy is whatever gender you want them to be and the most healthy way to interact with that is to live and let fucking live#either stay mad or pay for my plane ticket. ill do a backflip if you give me an extra five thousand dollars#this is rebloggable btw i dont give a shit. clown on this idiot#delete later#ask to tag#if youre not a fucking coward then block me and move on. like yknow. a normal person would
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
So. How do we feel about Jungkook going live at 4 am at his apartment with Mingyu to let him rest his head on his shoulder, hold hands and have a last drink and then turn the live off?
#googie 🐰#gyugyu 🐶#WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK#I GENUINELY WANT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF I CANT PROCESS THIS SHIT#???????????????????#YA IM GOING INSANE#APPARENTLY GYU SAID THAT THEY’LL COME AND PLAY FOR REAL LATER SOMEDAY ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️#SIR WHAT ABOUT MY SANITY#IM FUCKING CRYING#also .... like. they were at jungkook’s place until 4 am drinking? and jungkook just randomly turned on the live?#oh wow 😭 feels like a fucking dream i can’t y’all#sorry to anyone new here i’m high-key insane about 97 liners#especially gyukook who also happen to be my ults 😩#KDJDJSJSKSKSK WINNING AT LIFE#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#YALL I CANT#MY BOYFS ARE BOYFS AND THEY HANG OUT AND GO ON DINNER DATES FREQUENTLY
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rereading David's Flowering and it's just. So much. Holding all that in for so long that when he finally broke and cracked, he became such a potent Posthuman because he had always had so much potential, it was just hidden for so long. I know I'm constantly going on about David&Raven but with the backstory, his flowering, and everything that happens to him, holy shit, he is something else
#hiding his real self away out of being proper and correct in life. to the point of a mental breakdown that ends up changing your life#for the better or the worse. david could have died jumping off that cliff#sure the life he got isn't all roses (especially when he dies to save himself (raven)) but it's. better than what he had.#he was who he was meant to be#shaperaverse#i also think bc he's so potient is why his travels to the playhouse was. a bit easier than the others#OH AND THE WHOLE THING WITH HE AND WILLIAM BEING SO CONNECTED. FUCK
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m the fool for thinking this guy is scared of me bc he likes me no he’s scared of me bc he could b my dad =_=
#that’s a huge exaggeration he could not b my dad at all.#i just thot it’d b funny to say that sorry sorry#captain’s log#I wanna b so positive about it and then i remember and then i’m like wel fuck who cares and then i’m like I CARE#anyway uhhhh. i think this will continue until it becomes a real problem for me#aka my friends murder me#whatever . yolo ! Hehehehe!#i do enjoy having that feeling that a guy is more scared of me that i’m scared of him#but also…. why is he scared is probably not a good reason#by probably i mean definitely#anyway um …. yeah im scared of him actually that’s just not true at all to say i’m not#but!……he’s still more of me. so that’s a win for me regardless#hes scared i can’t tell when he’s joking#BUDDY THATS U THATS LITERALLY UUUUUUU#HE GETS SCARED EACH TIME I JOKE ABOUT ANYTHING#BUDDY ITS OKAYYYYY!!!!!!!#it’s actually scary talking to him KNOWING the TRUTH.#i think i might be leading him on#i SHOULD b leading him to jump off a fucking cliff tbh! … byeee!!!!#tbh my issue is . i love talking i love guys. i love being a silly freak.#but guys aren’t attracted to me so i don’t usually get to that point#this rare instance is one that’s fucked for me . except i still wanna be silly and fun and etc.#bc it makes me happy bc i love attention and i love making guys uncomfortable#someone dissect my brain should i retire#fuck this guy i need a silly baka who understands my jokes….🚬#What’s wrong w having a guy u occasionally text can’t i have my own personal mystic messenger#Like genuinely!#my friend keeps saying we r ‘talking’ and i understand what she’s implying#but i talk to many ppl and it’s not much different than this#just bc HE likes me doesn’t mean we r ‘talking’
1 note
·
View note
Text
i do not care for dreams atm! they always make me sad! and yet they’re so dumb! for why! for what!
#just had a dream where i crashed my parents car like i set it to autopilot(???) and was smoking in the back seat and at some point was like#this is a terrible idea? cars can’t drive themselves?#and then as if to prove my point when i was trying to climb into the front it crashed into the side of the cliff#and then i was freaking out and like. care was pretty much fine. anyway. tried to recover from Bad Driving and then somehow#drove off the cliff edge#and like the car was a bit fucked but it kinda bounced it wasn’t that scary#was more worried what my dad was gonna say lol#anyway not a great dream but also i. shouldn’t feel this sad irl lol#alas i now remember the part of the dream prior to this event!#my friend told everyone i was a shit friend and laughed in my face lol#so i left and got in the car 🫠#anyway!!! what the fuck does it mean about my brain where the things that are actually technically more nightmare territory#aren’t the nightmare but it’s the silly stuff#like. had another dream where like whole fuckin thing ended up being chased by this guy w a knife and i was tryna stop these guy school kids#getting got by him too#and like#ran through multiple villages and jumped lots of fences and whatnot was very stressful it was a long dream#but the dream before that?#my ex was there and trying to talk to me and stuff and eventually i said ‘i know this is a dream’#bc even though i’m never able to tell when dreams are dreams that was Obviously not real life#(pathetic)#and she looked kinda sad but just held my hand and we sat together until i woke up#guess which one upset me more!!!#my shit brain
0 notes
Text
can't believe i'm being made to cry on my wife's birthday ://
#robin talks#not even a happy. i am not normal about him <3 cry#have to figure out how to talk to hospital so my gallbladder will go away.#have to apply for pip bc my stupid government wants to take away my current benefits.#what if i just jumped off a cliff instead. it would fix me.#sorry kaeya genshiin impact i had real life concerns today </3
1 note
·
View note
Text
Can I interest anyone in a wee bit of frenemy(?)eddie and some soft confessions while under the influence?
18+, MDNI 2.2k
cw: drug use (edible)
“Oh, wow. She’s really out.”
Nancy wasn’t wrong, but Eddie didn’t need to be told. He had noted your rapid descent into sleep when it started halfway through the movie. Your eyelids fluttering like they had weights attached to them and your body curling into itself as you sank into the cushions of the Wheeler’s sofa.
You were crumpled in a ball at the end of it now, hugging the arm like you thought you were going to roll off the edge of a cliff if you let go. Your half-drunk beer still sat on the end table, abandoned once the edible you split with Argyle took effect.
Eddie had foolishly tried to warn you off it, saying you should start with half of your half and go from there. But of course that only set the two of you off like a pair of dueling firecrackers.
He didn’t know how he kept ending up in these spats with you. He never intended to insult you, it just seemed he had a real knack for it. You always accused him of babying you and he’d accuse you of being too stubborn for your own good.
Had anyone besides Eddie suggested you take it easy, you probably would have listened and might still be conscious right now.
Nancy jostled you gently, trying to rouse you while Eddie peered over her shoulder. He didn’t care for the lifeless way your limbs hung, for the way your head lolled forward on your shoulders like you couldn’t hold it up yourself.
It made his fingers drum nervously on the outside edge of his thigh and the wallet chain that hung there clinked with each and every irregular tap.
Of course he knew there was logically no way you could OD on a pot brownie—but that didn’t mean he delighted in seeing you so incapacitated.
Eyes shut tight, you started babbling softly in response to Nancy’s voice as she tried to draw you back to the world of the waking. With a soft oof, she got you to put one arm around her neck and attempted to lift you off the couch. But even with the deceptive strength of her slight frame, she wasn’t getting you anywhere by herself.
So, she glanced around the room at the rest of their friends in their various states of intoxication.
Steve and Robin were long gone, Robin being the winner of their coin toss for who got to drink that night while the other stayed sober. She’d skipped on the edible and mainlined strawberry daiquiris instead, leading to her calling out forlornly as Steve helped drag her out the door,
“What if I puke pink? Please, please, please, don’t let me puke pink—”
Argyle and Jonathan were passed out, entwined on the pallet of blankets and pillows on the floor, Jonathan likely not realizing the warm chest he was burying his face in wasn’t his girlfriend’s.
Finally, her determined gaze fell to Eddie, and she tilted her head at him in that Nancy way of her’s that gave out marching orders without her so much as speaking a word. With another glance at your sleeping form, Eddie released a resigned sigh and nodded his head.
As they helped you climb the stairs, one arm slung over each of their shoulders, you started to rouse again and slowly registered what was happening through the fog of your high.
“Aww, shit…m’fucked up, huh?” you chuckled, letting out a heavy sigh. “M’so sorry, Nance, I shouldn’t have…he was right…again…”
The bitter edge in your voice as the last word left your lips made Eddie’s brow jump with interest. You lifted your head the full two inches you could manage and peered at Nancy through half-lidded eyes. Your head then swiveled to the other side and Eddie braced himself for more vitriol.
But none came.
Your face didn’t even change and Eddie realized your current state made he and Nancy’s mops of messy brown curls somewhat indistinguishable. You just continued on like you were still talking to your best friend, not the guy you couldn’t stand.
“Wheeler, you’re a fucking beast, you know that? You’re so strong…”
The loopy giggle you let out brought a smile to Eddie’s lips in spite of himself. He felt your hand start to curl around his shoulder and it made him tense, worrying you’d recognize the rough denim of his vest. But your fingers simply held it, rubbed the frayed hem of his cut-off sleeve between the pads, your sleepy smile re-forming.
“God, Nance, you smell so good…”
Your head suddenly drooped, landing partially on Eddie’s shoulder and making his breath catch.
You took a deep inhale of his scent, your chest expanding with it and making Eddie’s eyes bulge and then avert quickly when he caught himself ogling the deep scoop of your neckline. He had already committed most of the night to avoiding just that, his eyes just…slipped for a second.
Over your head, he caught Nancy’s gaze and the cloudy blue color might as well have been a bright red laser for how clearly she saw through him.
Thankfully, they got to the guest room before she could make any damning remarks. She pushed open the door and flicked on the bedside lamp, illuminating a bed piled obscenely high with pillows and a down comforter seemingly thicker than some mattresses Eddie had slept on.
“Can you hold her?” Nancy asked, looking from the bed back to him.
His throat bobbed with a harsh swallow and he nodded, only half-sure of his answer. Nancy lifted your other arm from her shoulder and turned you into his body. Your other arm wrapped around his neck, your head resting on his shoulder.
His hands wrapped hesitantly around your back, holding you against him almost like you were slow dancing. He had to resist the urge to sway.
Heart thundering so loud he feared it might wake you, Eddie watched while Nancy pushed all of the decorative pillows to the floor and turned down the comforter, motioning Eddie forward.
He walked you backwards a few steps and sat you down on the edge of the bed while Nancy knelt to take off your shoes. Thankfully, the dress code on movie night was always supremely casual and the track pants and tank top you’d worn would be fine to sleep in.
You babbled a bit more as they got you ready for bed, seemingly oblivious to Eddie’s presence—even mentioning him briefly as they helped you lay flat and Nancy lifted your legs onto the bed.
“He’s just so annoying, you know?” you muttered bitterly. “Like, whatever, you’re hot and you play guitar and you’ve banged like half the town. That doesn’t mean you know everything.”
Eddie tried not to let the words sting. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t said before to his face, but there was something about you still saying it, even when he “wasn’t there” to hear it.
Apparently it wasn’t just an act.
“I’m gonna get water,” Nancy whispered, already out the door. “Just keep an eye on her, please?”
Eddie frowned and grumbled in response, but he didn’t move from his spot beside you. He did start to turn away, but stopped when you shifted in the bed. You reached out a limp hand and caught just the tips of Eddie’s fingers, tugging lightly on them like you wanted to tell him something.
He sank slowly to his knees, trying to hear you as your lips moved almost mutely.
“Should’ve listened,” you muttered. “Shouldn’t’ve been such a dick…”
You seemed perfectly content continuing your conversation even without “Nancy” responding, and Eddie wondered if he should just go? He was positive you’d be mortified if you ever found out he had overheard any of this. But even as he was screaming at his feet to move, for his knees to rise, they remained planted on the Wheeler’s plush carpeting at your next words.
“Nance…why doesn’t he like me?”
It took what felt like a year for Eddie to unfreeze. He looked towards the door for a sign of Nancy’s shadow in the hallway, the sound of her footsteps on the stairs. But there was none.
Your head lolled on the pillow, eyes still shut but the lids twitching subtly like you were trying to open them. If you did, you’d be staring straight into Eddie’s own rapt gaze. You still held your pitifully weak grasp on his fingers, and he easily could have pulled away. But he didn’t.
Eddie just watched, torn between his standards of decency and being desperate to find out what you were talking about. He didn’t even know you were into anyone—let alone that you liked them enough to groan about them to Nancy. What kind of idiot wouldn’t like you back?
Some sadistic part of him wanted to find out.
“I mean, I know I’m not—m’not like…Chrissy—but I’m alright, aren’t I? An’ I wore thisstupid booby shirt hoping he’d notice and he just…”
Your voice took on a wounded waver and you stopped, inhaling deeply as if to steady yourself. The beginnings of tears started to shimmer along your lash line and you shut your eyes tighter, but it only squeezed one of them out and made it trickle down your temple in a wet trail.
Okay…Eddie was really confused now.
He didn’t even know you knew his ex-girlfriend’s name until it came tumbling past your lips. And he sure as shit had so noticed your booby shirt—he’d barely been able to keep his eyes off you, had to actively force himself not to stare.
Had you actually…did you really wear it for him?
All of a sudden, you rolled onto your side and your eyes cracked open the widest he had seen them all night. You looked almost lucid and you were staring directly into Eddie’s face.
He flinched slightly, worried you might scream when you saw him. But you just sighed, scanning his features all glassy and moon-eyed as you stared at him plainly. Unabashedly.
Like he’s an oil painting that couldn’t look back.
“He’s just so…pretty.”
The words are whispered, like a secret. And it takes everything in him to remain totally still and not to let his eyes bug completely out of his skull. Wait, did you…Did you not think he was there?
“I like’im so much…what’m I gonna do?”
There it was again. That plaintive whine, that broken lilt of your voice that tugged mercilessly at something deep inside of him. Heartstrings he didn’t know were there until you plucked them.
You looked at him with those shiny eyes. Literal tears were filling them now, threatening to spill down your cheeks. You were crying. Over him? What kind of world was he living in?
And nearly too late, Eddie realized your eyes were fluttering closed again. Not from exhaustion, but to lean in and kiss him.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion. You stretched your neck forward, hand coming up to cup his jaw—god, your palms were so soft, not rough and hard like his—and Eddie felt himself melt briefly into your touch, just for a moment before he realized what you were doing.
Eyes closing, chest heaving, lips parting as you leaned into what you thought was a dream.
No, no, no, he thought frantically. Not like this—
Eddie wrapped his hand around your wrist and gently pulled away from you. It made you push a little harder, trying to fight your way out of his grasp, but you were weak and looked more like a kitten trying to box. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want you to get upset, he just—
“Hey,” he soothed, gently brushing the backs of his fingertips along your jaw. “Just go to sleep, okay? We can talk about this in the morning.”
You blinked, seemingly in realization, like you were surprised to hear him speak. And it made him wonder how many of your other dreams he’d starred in where he didn’t say a word.
But his voice seemed to soothe you somewhat, your fists unclenching and dropping to lay on the softness of the sheets. You nodded your head as your face sunk back into the pillow, your cheek rubbing the dainty floral bouquets on the case.
Eddie let out the breath he didn’t remember he was holding, his shoulders slumping with it as his mind raced. Carefully, with nimble fingers curled around the edge of the comforter, he tugged it up further over your shoulders, almost to your chin. You snuggled a little deeper into your sleep and Eddie tucked the blanket in a little tighter, his heart pounding with every second.
And before he could talk himself out of it, he dropped a feather-light kiss to your forehead.
Once in a while we have to do the pining, I guess 🙄
Very veeeeeeeeeery loosely inspired by that scene in New Girl where Jess is on painkillers. Ty for reading - love you, mean it!
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
What's a fanfiction?
"You wrote it, I think it's only right you get to experience it, babydoll"
Pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: By mistake, you send Joel, your neighbor, your dad’s best friend, a fanfic you wrote, and when you go to his house to talk to him about it, your worst fear comes to life… and then your biggest dream.
Warnings: age-gap, he blackmails you (but youre very much into it) smut| oral sex (m receiving), facefucking, 1 lil threat of anal, p in v sex, creampie, sir kink, small little breeding kink moment, so much degradation, and a lil bit of praising.
a/n: i am aware this is not written very well, but i was thinking too much and then i remembered that at the end of the day i do this for fun and its not that serious, so please overlook all the shitty parts. love ya very much<3
Read.
Read-
He read it. He fucking read it and you're gonna jump off a cliff and die.
You swore- you fucking swore you sent it to Miley yesterday night. Right before you went to sleep, you finished writing it and sent to her- except obviously, that wasn't what had fucking happened.
You'd sent it to him
And now you needed to find a fucking solution.
__ __ __
God even knocking felt like torture,
"oh hi y/n" Sarah's smile was nothing like her dad's, it was all kindness and sweetness, while Joel's... well Joel's always had something strange lurking behind his.
"Hi Sarah" you forced your lips to mimic hers, although the nerves were making it difficult "Is your dad home? I kinda need to talk to him"
"mh-mh" she nodded, gesturing for you to come in "he's in his study upstairs"
You stepped into the house just as she crouched down to pick up a gym bag
"You know where that is right?" she asked "I'm late for practice, I gotta go"
You felt your heart drop as her words sank in.
She was going out- she would be leaving you alone with him, in his house, in his study-
But then again, considering what it was you were here to talk about, maybe it was for the best.
"Yeah, don't worry" you forced another smile
"great" she beamed "see you later then"
And just like that, she was out of the house, and you were sole in the middle of your neighbor's entrance.
__ __ __
Again, another knock that felt very much like a punch to the gut
"come in"
His voice was warm and strong like it always was, that same voice that made your panties dampen just at the thought of it.
"H-hey Mr. Miller" you swallowed thickly, pushing open the door as if an army of zombies waited on the other side
"Darlin'" he nodded at you from behind his wooden desk, a hint of a grin shadowing his lips
Darlin'
Darlin'
God this fucking man
"h-hey" you said again, cursing internally while you tried remembering why you were even there.
Oh, right. Just about the most awkward thing ever.
A soft chuckle rumbled from his chest, making the hair at the nape of your neck stand.
"Whatcha doing here, doll?"
You felt heat rush to your cheeks, and then you felt your eyes fall to the floor as your hands fiddled with the edge of your skirt.
The skirt you purposely wore to come here- for him-
god what a stupid fucking-
"Thatta real pretty skirt you got on"
Your eyes snapped up to him, but he took his time glancing away from your legs.
"Oh- I- thank you" you murmured
"Jus' call 'em like I see 'em, darlin'" he shrugged, leaning back into his chair "Now's that all you came here for? To show me your new pretty skirt?"
"n-no" you rushed in to say, perhaps too quickly to be fully believable "I came here because I- uhm" You bit your bottom lip, the nervous fiddling starting back up again
"I ain't gonna bite babydoll"
Fuck- at this rate your panties would start melting.
"last night-" you gulped "I kinda- I... well I sent you something by mistake"
"ah" he hummed, raising his brows as he clicked on something on the laptop next to him "I gotta say, issa real... interesting story this one"
No-
NO
Fuck my life and everything ever in the existence of the universe fuckfuckfuck-
"who's..." he trailed off, reading off his screen "Javier?"
Your lungs had turned to stone and your mind to dust.
This couldn't be really happening, no, I mean, even if he'd read it for some reason he surely wouldn't be... taunting you for it.
"Mr. Miller-"
"real lucky guy" he said, his lips twitching into a soft smirk as he looked at you curiously "You brought him home to meet your daddy yet?"
"n-no" you stuttered, your mind a big ashamed mess and your whole body frozen like a statue "n-no he's not... real"
You watched his brows come together in confusion.
"what's that mean he ain't real?"
A shaky sigh fled your lips as you surrendered to your fate
"He's a character... f-from a tv show"
He remained silent, and as comfortable with silence as you were it was a different kind of story when Joel Miller was staring at you... so you talked again.
"T-that's a fanfiction, I- I write them sometimes, it's... fun"
His eyes searched yours for answers, faint amusement sparking in the back of his irises.
"what's a fanfiction, doll?"
Death wasn't such a scary thing after all- yeah it sure as hell was a better alternative to this.
"It's a... made-up story, that people- that I- sometimes write about fictional characters I like- a-and then I post it for p-people to read"
"And this Javier..."
"Narcos" you blurted out "H-he's from the show Narcos, he's not real"
His mouth twitched into a subtle smile, his eyes raking all over your body as if he was checking to see if it was really you in front of him
"I've seen that show" he said, his brow raising "Ain't he a bit old for you, babydoll?"
"Y-yes well- I-I-"
But you had no excuse for that, you could never tell him the truth, about how much you liked older men... about all the celebrity crushes double your age- so you just bit your lip, looking down at the floor.
The noise of his chair creaking as he got up made your heart skip a beat, but it stopped completely only when you heard him step closer to you... until he was right before you.
The only thing you could see were the socks covering his feet, and part of his black jeans- you didn't have it in you to actually look at him, to see him laughing at you, but you had no other choice when two of his fingers pulled your chin up.
"so you sit in your room, imagining this old man doin' all this stuff to you, and then you write it down?" he spoke, his beautiful mouth so very close to you "And here I was thinkin' you were a good little girl"
Your breath caught in your throat at those words, and he... yeah he definitely noticed.
"Please don't tell my dad"
"well I don't know" he moved some hair from your face, "I think this is somethin' your daddy ought to know"
a well of fear dipped into your belly, your eyes widening
"n-no please" you begged "Please Mr. Miller don't, I'll do anything- anything at all"
"oh sweetie" he cooed, "that ain't somethin' you can tell a man, especially not after he's read all the dirty things you fantasize about in your pretty little head"
"Mr Miller-" you bit your lip
"Mr Miller?" he repeated, looking down at you like you were the smallest little creature in the world "That ain't what you were calling Javi now, was it?"
A small, almost imperceptible gasp left your mouth.
He couldn't be saying... no right?- except...
"Joel-"
"that ain't it either" he shook his head, his thumb tracing the shape of your lower lip "you know what it is babygirl"
Either you were gonna make a fool of yourself, or this really was what he wanted.
"S-sir"
The slightest, most feline smirk pulled at his lips in satisfaction "thatta girl" he murmured "you don't want your dad to know what a dirty lil' girl his daughter really is?"
His breath was fanning on your mouth, and his touch was making your legs turn to jelly.
"n-no" you shook your head almost imperceptibly
"no?" he asked again, just to see you squirm, just to savor this moment for a little bit more.
"no sir"
He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down his throat, his eyes looking into yours, memorizing every inch of your face, of the anxiety, the ardor, the plead in your expression.
"then get on your knees"
Your eyes widened in shock, the air going up your throat suddenly getting stuck
"w-wha-"
"what?" he asked, not even sounding like himself anymore. His tone was sweet, calm even, but something almost dire lurked underneath his words.
"you seemed eager to do it when Javi asked" he tilted his head, his fingers still holding your chin.
If you didn't know better you would have guessed it was jealousy that traced his tone whenever he spoke the name of your fantasies's protagonist... little did he know the main reason why you even liked Javier was his resemblance to him- to Joel.
"Mr- sir" you stuttered "I-"
"I don't like to repeat myself y/n" he spoke sternly, his eyes boring into yours "Do you want your daddy to know or not?"
You didn't need to answer, you only held his stare as he let your face go, and you slowly, unsurely, and awkwardly got to your knees.
"wasn't so hard now was it?" he asked, his eyes dark enough to fade into the night sky "what are you waiting for?"
"I-"
"You need instructions babydoll?" he chuckled "'cause I ain't gonna give 'em to ya" he said while your heart pounded in your chest "I know you know how to do it" he smirked "Described it so well in your little fanfiction"
"b-but I-" you tried to take a deep breath but doing anything while he towered over you, while his crotch was right in your line of sight was proving to be very very difficult "I've only ever done this once" you gulped, trying to keep eye contact
"yeah?" he smiled, his hand going to the top of your head, gently patting it...that really shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. "then how come you knew exactly what to do with Javi? don't tell me you just guessed"
He either didn't believe you, or was really not expecting that. But it was the truth- you'd only ever done anything once... and it's not like it had even felt that great.
"Well, I- I do research... and I- I read a lot"
If you thought he looked predatorial before... you had no idea how bad it could really get.
"research huh?" he mocked, his voice as deep as it could get "Oh baby you're digging yourself a hole here" he tsked, shaking his head while looking almost disappointed "I really think your daddy ought to know about all the research his lil' girl's doing under his roof"
"No!" you begged, your bottom lip trembling.
"No?" he asked, tracing it with his thumb "Then I suggest you make it good, babygirl"
And that was that.
Your trembling hands undid his belt, then lowered his zipper, and finally pulled his pants down until they pooled at his feet.
Fuck
He was huge- even with the boxers still on it was very clear the man was just massive-
"I don't like to be teased y/n"
"s-sorry sir" you responded automatically, noticing his cock twitch within the confines of the fabric in appreciation of your obedience.
You had to do it slowly, you had to pull his boxers down slowly so you could have time to calm down, to not panic in front of the huge cock that was gonna be right in front of you at any moment-
And yet it didn't work- a soft gasp fled your mouth as you freed his manhood.
He only chuckled, watching the fear in your eyes, and quite frankly, very much enjoying it.
"I'll tell ya if you're doing it wrong" he simply spoke, his hand going to the back of your head to guide you closer to where he wanted you.
He was getting impatient. And you didn't want to disappoint him.
Yes, he was blackmailing you, but you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been dreaming of this for years.
You looked like a frightened kid as you wrapped your right hand around him, and you looked even more out of place as you opened your mouth and started fitting his length inside of it.
A weak grunt rumbled from his chest "Hollow your cheeks" he ordered, having you obey in a heartbeat.
"fuck that's good" he groaned now, watching you intently as you started bobbing your head, trying to fit more of him into your mouth "Good little slut"
You didn't know a moan was gonna flee your mouth until it had- until your whole face felt hot and you waited terrified for Joel's reaction.
Exect he was smiling- no- grinning like you'd just given him the best gift he'd ever received.
"Oh, you're really something else ain't ya, darlin'?"
"mhp" Your muffled noises were all the more entertaining to him, especially paired up with the sight of your thighs rubbing together.
You were so fucking wet you feared at any moment you would start dripping onto the floor.
"so needy" he murmured, his hand now gathering your hair in a makeshift bun "You wanna touch yourself, baby girl? wanna feel good while you make me feel good?"
"mh-mh" you tried to nod, to beg, to say yes please for the love of god let me.
"that's too bad" he tutted, sounding like he was holding back a laugh "Javi didn't let you do that now, did he?" he smirked "You wrote it, I think it's only right you get to experience it, babydoll"
But before you had time to ask yourself if he meant all of it, he'd spoken again.
"that all you can take?" he asked, watching the first half of his cock in your mouth with amusement "Here- how 'bout I help you out darlin'" he smirked, his hips retracting just to thrust into your mouth-
It wasn't a hard jab, but still you choked, and then you choked some more as he did it again, watching you fit more of him into your mouth as saliva drooled to your chin and your eyes watered.
You could feel the texture of every inch of his dick with your tongue, the feel of his veins, and the taste of his precum were all you were aware of.
"like that- see, jus' needed a lil' help" he groaned "Even a slut like you needs it sometimes"
His pace had quickened, and tears were now streaming down your face.
"shh" he shushed you once you choked yet another time "I know it's big baby" he cooed, his thrust much less gentle than his words, although that was all an act too "I know, I know... but you're gonna have to be a good whore for me and take it aaall into that slutty little throat, ok?" he murmured "just try to breathe through your nose"
What did he mean try?
What if you tried and failed?
But you weren't actually worried- you had never thought being horny could actually be painful, and yet, there you were, literally so wet and turned on it hurt.
You couldn't even see him anymore through all the tears covering your eyes, and you didn't even realize you were actively choking and making a complete mess of yourself, all you could feel was his big fat cock, and dream about how it would feel inside of you.
"God fuckin-" He groaned like an animal as he finally bottomed out, his dick making a permanent dent into your throat at this point "Jesus Christ"
He stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, watching you struggle, and then, just like that, he was out- and you could breathe again.
He didn't even give you time to catch your breath, to finish coughing like a maniac that he'd already given you another order.
"get up," he said "take off your clothes"
He really did want to recreate the fic- you were- you were about to have sex with Joel Miller, THE Joel Miller, your neighbor and dad's best friend Joel Miller.
oh fuck
"What did I say about repeating myself?"
You scrambled to your feet, pulling your shirt off at the same time.
You heard him snort but didn't pay it any mind as you took your bra and skirt off as quickly as you could.
You really were desperate.
But when it came to your panties you slowed, everything suddenly feeling very real.
"what are you waiting for?"
"s-sorry sir" you mumbled, finally dropping them at your feet.
A soft groaned fuck climbed up his throat as he examined every inch of your body.
You would be covering yourself, feeling a little self-conscious, if it wasn't for the fact that his gaze had turned you to stone.
"pick your panties up" he said as if getting out of a trance.
You frowned, confused, but obeyed nonetheless.
Maybe he didn't like the mess...
"Put 'em in the first drawer," he said, nodding back to his desk.
Oh
He followed your every move as you walked past him, but it was only when you were at his desk, that he started stalking towards you.
He was right beside you now, and somewhere along the way he'd lost his shirt, because your back was now pressed against his chest, and your ass was right against something else.
"I'm keepin' those" he murmured, his deep voice right next to your ear, his hands going to grip your waist.
You dropped the panties where he asked and nodded, turning to him, finding his face, his mouth, but an inch from your own.
"Yes sir"
His cock twitched again right against your backside as his mouth ghosted yours.
"Bend over"
You swallowed thickly, doing as he said.
You shivered feeling the table's cold wood meet your skin, but you got hot all over again once you felt Joel's words.
"Spread your legs"
You did.
"What an obedient slut I've turned you into" he grinned, proud of himself
"Where do you want it?"
You felt his cock slide between your cheeks, making you whimper and arch your back.
"here?" he slid it in between your legs, connecting with your clit.
You moaned as you shook your head no
"here?" he asked again, this time his dick prodding at your asshole.
You gasped as you mumbled "N-no sir- please"
"You want in your throat again babydoll, 's that it?" he teased you, his tip still leaving smears of his precum on your hole
"mh-mh" you shook your head no again "Please"
"no?" he snickered, "Then where?"
"Here?" he asked, the tip of his dick finally getting exactly where you wanted him "in your slutty lil' pussy?"
"yes- p-please sir- I-"
"say it" he taunted you, almost slipping in.
"I- I need it"
"what do you need?"
"Y-Your cock sir" you begged
"Where do you need my cock?"
"I-I need it in my pussy" you cried- he was so close if he would just- "I need your cock in my pussy sir, please I- I'm begging you-"
"good little slut"
He pushed in with one singular, hard thrust, making you cry out so loud the whole neighborhood probably heard.
He was so big it kind of burned at first, but as he thrust in again and you heard him groan in pleasure, there was no going back- you were in complete bliss... and your brain had turned to mush.
You were moaning- loudly.
"fuck-" he grunted "you're such a whore darlin'"
The sound of how wet you were as he plunged into your heat was filthy.
"Y'know- I usually give women an orgasm before I fuck 'em," he said as his balls slapped rhythmically against your skin "but you're just a whore- and whores don't deserve to be treated with respect, do ya?" Your back arched, feeding him more of yourself as your walls squeezed around him "Nah, you deserve to be used. Used like the little sluts that you are" he kept grunting, not paying any mind to how loud you were being, or how the desk had started to slip because of how hard his thrusts were "And it ain't like you need it, is it darlin'?" he chuckled, suddenly pulling you up, his right arm around your torso keeping you pinned against him "you're makin' a mess" he murmured into your ear, shivers running up your spine "and besides, this' how you wanted it- wrote it jus' like this in your lil' story didn't ya, ya little slut?"
He bit your earlobe just as his dick hit your cervix, making your brain short-circuit.
It was all so hot- so fucking hot.
"I can't imagine what your daddy would say" his mouth was on your neck now, but his pace was the same as ever, as hard and unapologetic as it could get "knowing what nasty things his little girl likes to think- to write" he chuckled "bet the poor guy would have the fuckin' big one if he knew"
"if he knew how you like to be fucked by men 30 years older than you" he groaned, feeling you squeeze him as you whimpered his name incoherently "if he knew how tight you get when I tell you how much of a slut you are"
Your eyes were rolled back, and your head had dropped against his chest
"please"
"If he knew how good you fuckin' take my cock" he murmured right against your mouth, your legs trembling "How desperate you are for it"
He was going even faster, and he was now supporting your whole body because your legs weren't working anymore.
"If he knew what a fuckin' whore he raised" he grunted, plunging his cock as deep as it could go, molding your body to him "how she's my whore now"
And that was it- that was it.
You felt actual tears stream down your cheeks as bliss took over your body- as you cried and moaned and trembled until you were done, until you'd finally recovered.
"I'm gonna come inside babygirl" It wasn't a question, it was an order, just like every one he'd given you for the past hour "Jus' like Javi" he grunted, his thrusts more erratic now "except this is real life baby- and you better hope it doesn't stick" he smirked, feeling your walls squeeze involuntarily at his words "God you're such a slut"
"Now take it all like a good one"
You couldn't help but join his moaning as he came, as he filled you up to the very brim.
You were a mess- cum was already running down your thighs as he slipped out of you, but you still followed his lead and started dressing again- only your panties were in his drawer and the walk back home would be a real awkward one.
"You post these stories?"
There was no point in lying, you'd already confessed to it.
"I- yes" you swallowed, putting your bra on "o-on Tumblr"
You could very well see he'd never heard of the app
"How are you called on there?"
He'd stepped closer to you, watching you fiddle with your shirt in your hands.
His belt was unbuckled, his jeans still open, and you were starting to feel ready for round two already.
"S-sir you want t-to-”
"I gotta know what other things your daddy can't know about” he murmured, moving a piece of hair from your face “and all the things I’m gonna do to my lil’ slut”
#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#fluff#joel miller imagine#joel miller blurb#joel miller angst#fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#joel miller x f!reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune
(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)
1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.
2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.
3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.
4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.
5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.
6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!
Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.
#tor books#booklr#new books#in the lives of puppets#tj klune#tbr#sff#science fiction#team robot#unreality#long post
3K notes
·
View notes
Photo
Madre Solo Hay Dos - 1.09 // 3.05
AKA Cinematic parallels pt 2
Bonus: Mariana.EXE has stopped working
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#do you ever think about how this is real actual canon that no one can take away from us or explain away as 'subtext'???#because I do (even from the hole I have crawled into and won't be crawling out of any time soon)#I like the contrasts in line delivery and facial expressions#mariana looks anguished because she picked the absolute WORST time to declare her love and got kicked out of ana's house for her troubles#whereas ana is calm and almost cheerful bc it was on the heels on them sleeping together#so to her it was not unreasonable to expect that the confession would have a much more positive outcome than when mariana did it#and I am absolutely OBSESSED with ana's little shrug and head shake as she says it like it was so obvious what she was gonna say#GAWD ludwika is so good I'm gonna jump off a cliff#and I included mariana's reaction bc it makes me laugh (to keep from crying) bc it never occured to her that ana might have caught feelings?#the same way (interestingly enough) that it never occurred to ana that the person mariana wanted to be free to be with was ferrán#she spent all episode thinking mariana had met someone or assuming it was elena but never mariana's ex whom she had to dump for the charade#and don't think I missed the fact that now they have BOTH broken the other's heart in equally soul-crushing ways laughcry#I do appreciate the show's commitment to keeping the playing field level between them lol#so yeah this was just a symphony of crossed wires and misunderstandings like no wonder it went so sideways it was doomed before it started#(yeah it looks like I'm just gonna tag vomit all my feelings about this scene in this post#so I don't have to rewatch the scene to make a proper one with full caps and dialogue#bc I just CAN'T with ana's 'what happened between us meant nothing to you? bc I was there and I haven't been able to stop thinking abt it'#godfuckingDAMMIT BOTH ludwika and the writers will be hearing from my lawyers like HOW IS THIS SHIT ALLOWED)#anyway... what else is there to say :((( please continue to respect my privacy while I am in deep mourning
1 note
·
View note