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#what if i DIE huh. what if i fucking DIED.
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boy whos dying ← his vibrator broke
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lotus-pear · 1 year
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regret
#literally excuse the shitty anatomy and cell shading i was thinking abt chuuyas reaction to what he'd done and i decided to make it skk#bc skk copium :')#the way i've hated dazai so fucking much but i still cried like a bitch when he died#he's not dead the bsd fandom has this phase like the elevator chapter where we're like ''dazai's not gonna make it he's done for!!''#and then he comes back next chapter like surprise bitches yall thought i was dead lmao#this chapter fucking HURT for skk shippers tho like we rly lost this time around huh#deluding myself into thinking that chuuya used gravity manipulation to slow the bullet#bc we didn't see a bullet hole behind dazais head like when chuuya shot his shoulder even though the bullet to his skull was fired at close#the reason theres a wound is bc the compressed air that was still fired was enough to wound him#and the shock wave that followed caused him to pass out bc of the sudden tension to his head intermingled with the blood loss and poison#we also know dazai can control his heart rate at will so maybe he can drop his pulse to zero for like thirty secs#enough to make fyodor believe he's dead#in the event that all of this is untrue and dazai rly does die the way my entire being will go numb and cold and dead#knowing that fyodor will most likely use dazai's death as a weapon against chuuya effectively chaining him to his side#like bffr chuuya may dislike dazai but that's his partner his reflection the boy that makes him desperately want to be human#dazai is the embodiment of chuuyas humanity and once chuuya loses that tether to his human side he will snap and the facade will shatter#and we will truly see chuuya unhinged with nothing more keeping him bound to his mortal shell#this wasn't the skk reunion we wanted asigiri what the fuck :(#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#skk#soukoku#lotus draws
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grinchwrapsupreme · 5 months
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"God loves you so much he wont let you die horror trope" is basically the plot of the first few seasons of the venture bros from hank and deans perspective except instead of god its rusty and also they spend like 16 years not knowing this is happening
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yiangchen · 1 year
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you know, i would kill for the og s7 script to be leaked...i've said before that i would never rewatch the show because the ending is just so unsatisfying and ooc for so many characters, but...if i could rewatch almost all of it and stop at whatever point in s7 that it changed and then just read the og script? i'd rewatch in a heartbeat!
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strwbrymlkshake · 9 months
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who up praying for downfalls 🤨
#mine#yandere#yancore#yandere vent#oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy#its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking#the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with#my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in#a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear#of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right#youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person#this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for#their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are.#i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think#idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight#its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU#but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway#if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test#die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said#this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten#with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like#we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it.#because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!!#like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business#clearly they did not grow up italian 💀#clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything#anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist#advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours#and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves.#if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc
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gregoftom · 1 year
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oh ok
#succession#tomgreg#OH MY GOD THE SCENE IS THIS CLOSE AFTER?!?? i thought i had some time !!! i jqqqqqqq#man. man. mn!!!!aman!!!!man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man.#matt johnson you would love tomgreg#what the fuck is this scene though i want to die i PHYSICally want to di e Eeeeeeeeeee#he........i .........fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmmmmmmmmmmmm#ok. okok. ok . novel tags ok i can think through my absolute fucking grief. ok so basically.#tom giving greg advice about prison. and then greg like basically begs to have tom take the rap for him. but not directly.#he can never say things directly. but tom translates. and it doesn't take him long to say fine. load me up. you piece of shit.#but he doesn't even mean the latter statement he's too sad. and he won't fight. the fight is all gone out of him.#so much for greg being expendable though huh?#look me in the eyes and tell me tom isn't in love with greg at least a little. yall telling me you'd take the rap for someone and go to jail#for them if you didn't love them? ok bestie you do you#i kind of like as well the comparison of the conversation between them and him and shiv like. it's very similar in that him and greg are#saying sentences that are parts of different conversations like him and shiv's convo ALTHOUGH it is still related bc it's to do with jail#she wouldn't even talk about that subject at all. and then it correlates to the whole. nero and sporus thing right. and the dressing up/ring#ALSO THE FACT HE DIDNT WANNA SLEEP WITH HER AND HES OUT LATE AT A DINER WITH GREG I GET IT G IS HIS MISTRESS#but anyway.#and the WAYYYYYYY greg's voice breaks and the way he looks at tom with pleading eyes and it looks like he's about to cry#that's what does it for tom i think. that's what breaks him. he can't bear the thought of greg suffering for months.#which makes me believe that that is why he was so sad earlier when greg was asking for advice. he doesn't like greg to suffer#by other hands of course. if it's by his hands that's another matter BUT THATS ANOTHER CAN OF WORMS#LIKE I KNOW ITS KIND OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE OF GREG BUT AT THE SAME TIME HES LIKE. idk early 20s. 26ish latest???#and i would be fucking terrified i'm 30 and i still don't know what the fuck is going on i don't know how i am still alive so i get it.#and if you have someone who has been taking care of you and has in the past flexed their power and money to give you food and parties#and move you up in a company and give you opportunities you most likely would never get. you kinda. latch. and fall into a pattern.#you assume he has a way out for you#has help. i mean greg probably assumed he wouldn't say yes in the first place so he kinda Has to be an asshole for any chance at all tbh.#he even said quid pro quo. but tom didn't even want anything in return. i mean idk what greg could even give him [lol] but still.
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orcelito · 1 month
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year
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i just finished iron blooded orphans and need to lay down for a bit
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#it was so good#i don't have a lot of concrete thoughts rn just Feelings™#it was SUCH a wild ride. I'm always kinda hesitant to talk about a show bc i feel like I'm gonna spoil it but it's also not new lol so??#imma talk about it a bit anyways so tags after this will have spoilers#BUT SJFKGKDLA#so many people died 😭 imo the late deaths weren't as Sad™ as the earlier ones but still.#the way everyone changed their names and picked up new lives but still kept in touch with each other#and everyone finding Something because they kept moving forward. particularly Takaki in particular for me 🥹🤲#hearing something as simple like if u see a lot of places and learn a lot of things u will have many options. but The Way he's#living that out is just 🤌 a long way from being human debris my boy 🫂 I'm so proud of him#and I'm glad that greedy arms freaking mf got shot up in the bathroom 😼 it's what he DESERVED!!#last episode just like. rly emphasizing that even though the group is done everyone still lives on and finds their niche#and it's tragic fr how many people had to die trying to realize a dream that happened anyways 😔 though it wouldn't have#without their deaths so.. i fuckn KNEW at the beginning of the second season when Olga got the warning#about how if ur taking shortcuts/fastest way possible ur going to regret it later was MASSIVE foreshadowing#and it's just like damn y'all r letting me know this early huh 😭imma enjoy the ride regardless and what a fucking ride it was#i almost want to watch it again but there are also Other gundam series i need to check out#not for a while though.. imma do some stuff around the house n maybe draw for a bit.#just rly sit on my feelings and the Experience i just had. thank u everyone who brought up IBO it was SOOOO fucking good#feel free to recommend other favorites of yours i should check out next. mecha anime has always been a blindspot too so#if y'all have any in general from the genre lmk ^~^
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bloodgutsandpussy · 1 year
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Accidentally bought a book light that has to be plugged in to charge instead of using batteries and it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me
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caruliaa · 1 year
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i do not think i fully considered just how gruesome of a death being crushed by a giant bell is in the almost two years i was obsessed with a movie where that happens to the antagonist at ages 13-14 and the month and a week were i have been obsessed with a movie where that happens to the protagonist at age 18 until just now
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hellohoihey · 2 months
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In denial maybe
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i think the weirdest thing to happen this remembrance day was me being told silas couldn't be remembered. like am i just meant to forget about him for a whole 24 hours? no. too autistic about him
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oh-no-its-bird · 3 months
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Team 7 gets zapped into the warring states era but it's like, team 7 either mid or directly after wave-arc.
They're babies!! They're untrained little babies!!! None of them have gotten that good good character development yet!! Kakashi is still actively desperately wanting to not teach them!! (tho he may have just gotten his "ahh fuck. I actually have to teach them, huh." Moment)
Sasuke looks like a carbon copy of a younger Izuna and it's going to cause problems
Naruto thankfully doesn't look much like an Uzumaki, but his tendency to very loudly introduce himself is going to get him into trouble
Going w my usual flavor of "the Hatake are a very small but very famous clan known for being fucking insane", people are seeing Kakashi and going "oh god oh fuck what are one of THOSE guys doing here oh sage preserve us please don't eat me" as Kakashi just kinda stands there like 🧍‍♂️
Sakura is the only one safe from not being fucked up and over her clan, good for her!
-> back to the Hatake thing.
The kids still know virtually nothing about their sensei so they're learning all this stuff about his clan and believing every word of it, from the believable rumors to the insane.
Sakura, in a hushed, worried voice: "Sensei,, is it true ur clan eats people??"
Kakashi, who's father died before he could tell him almost anything about their clan and genuinely doesn't know but at this point is starting to get a little worried about it:
Kakashi, who also never passes up the opportunity to fuck with someone: "only stupid little students who ask stupid little questions <3"
Sakura and Sasuke: *worriedly look at a confused Naruto*
For convoluted reasons they run into the Hatake of the era and after introductions they look at the kids and are like,
"Oh!!! Ok, so this is your kid, right? :)" pointing at Sakura.
And Kakashi is like. ",,no."
"Ohhh, ok. So this one is your kid then?" *points at Naruto*
",,,,,,,,no."
They look at him confused then nod at Sasuke. "So then that one's your kid, right?"
"None of them are my children."
*visibly disapproving / disbelieving side eye*
One big difference between this and the team ro time travel one is how much less trustworthy Kakashi comes off to literally everyone who looks at him.
He's a trained adult shinobi, probable bloodline thief (with no way to prove his innocence), and he has 3 children from 3 different clans (2 of which are indirectly enemies bc the Uzumaki is a Senju ally) (1 of which might have a direct relation to the Uchiha main house) and comes from an infamously volatile "wild clan" from another country entirely (Iron country)
He is NOT getting out of this with talk no jutsu bullshit. He has a target on his back from day 1 and it will take a minor miracle to get even a single person hear him out
Anyways uhh—
Saying Tajima and Butsuma are still alive but due to die in some months (till team 7 accidentally interfere and somehow accidentally save Tajima, maybe also Butsuma but I'm more biased towards Tajima so I'm thinking just him actually)
Kakashi sees baby Kagami and feels like he's been hit by a truck bc he looks just like a miniature Shisui and he has hang-ups about his "suicide"
Half-Hatake Tobirama is catching HEAT from Kakashi's antics. Why does one of ur cousins have a sharingan. Where did he get those children. Do you know anything about this. Is it your duty to help hunt him down bc hes your blood. If not yours then it's definatley the Hatake's, call them immediately and tell them to clean up their mess.
Bloodline theft is like THE ultimate no-no for all shinobi, especially in this era. To the point that even ancient enemies will sometimes temporarily set aside grudges to kill bloodline theives. Kakashi is so fucked, someone get him out of there
Mmmm there are like still bits and pieces of thoughts floating around in my head for this but I can feel myself getting distracted and want to get back to art fight so I'll leave it here for now
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bked0n-lorazepam · 4 months
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"Sweltering"
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Summary (Smut): Y/N and Patrick are placed as partners on their senior camp trip for Derry high-school. Regrets are thought after Patrick convinced her to place their tent further away from the others, and when their fans die in the middle of the night in the awful Derry heat.
Warnings: Vulgar language, dubious consent, fingering, cunnilingus, nipple play, camping, in a tent. Patrick and Reader are 18 and seniors!
A/N: Sorry guys, motivation kind of went out the window for my WIP's and I can't think when I try to write them, so here's this apology while I wait for my writer's block to end!
Smut under the cut!!
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It was dark out, and hot. The Derry highschool had a camp field trip that only the seniors could go on as a ‘going away’ event for their graduation. Y/N and Patrick were partnered together, much to each other’s distaste.
There was an odd amount of people on the trip, and when Y/N was told that the other student was going to join her group of three and that she’d have to be with Patrick, she groaned.
“Do I have to? What have I done to deserve this?” She begged her councilor to change the groups.
“Ms. L/N, you’re the perfect student, and he isn’t. We’re hoping that maybe while on this trip, you can influence him in some kind of way. Please, you can still hang out with your past group, you just need to stick with him as well.” Her councilor begged her back, hope shining in his eyes. 
All the teachers at the highschool knew that Patrick wasn’t the greatest student, so they always paired her and him together when they could. Projects and presentations, hell, they even made her his tutor. She hated how much time out of her life he took up, and he hated how much of his she took up.
“Fucking, fine. Whatever.” Y/N sighed dramatically and walked away to talk to her friends.
She heard a faint ‘language’ from her councilor before getting pulled aside and directed the other way.
“So, we’re buddies again. Huh, toots?” Patrick grinned and put his hand on her waist while walking her towards their assigned bus. 
“Guess so,” Y/N rolled her eyes at the nickname he gave her when they met, and pulled his hand that was slowly moving to her ass off of her. “Don’t fuck this trip up.” 
“I’ll think about it.”
Patrick did not, in fact, think about it.
He somehow convinced her to set up their tent further away from the others, and the fans that they were given on the bus had died. They were both sweating and kicked off their blankets, and now they laid on their sleeping bags. 
“I hate you.” Y/N panted, using the safety folder as a fan. She was wearing a dark green tank top and sweatpants on, and she was sweltering. 
“Mutual feelings.” Patrick responded, laying on his back with his arms behind his head. He took his shirt off and was wearing his black boxers, even though Y/N complained about him taking off his pants.
She knew she couldn’t say much, though, having taken off her bra earlier in the night because of how uncomfortable it was. She also knew that he was staring at her breasts half the time, but she didn’t bring it up. He’d do it if she had a sweater on, too.
Y/N stopped fanning herself for a moment and stared at the wall of the tent in front of her, and Patrick looked over at her.
“What?”
“Don’t get any ideas.” She set down the folder and stood up as he stared at her, watching her every movement.
She glanced at him and caught his eyes before looking away quickly and reaching her fingers into her waistband. Pulling off her pants, she stood there in her black lace panties, bare to Patrick’s eyes.
“Thought you were gonna get some?” Patrick snickered at her fancy underwear as she sat down and scoffed.
“Yeah, from Taylor.” She smiled sarcastically and fanned herself with the folder again, sighing in relief at the difference her lack of clothing made.
She’ll admit, she was hoping that she’d end up getting a tent with Taylor because she thought he was hot, but now she was stuck with Patrick. Who was kind of attractive.
But also really attractive.
Patrick hummed and watched her again before a large grin grew on his face. He sat up from his sleeping bag and crawled over to her when she closed her eyes, and he covered her mouth with his hand when she yelped in surprise. 
“Patrick, what the fuck!” She hissed quietly to not wake the other campers.
“Shut up and enjoy this.” He sneered and slid his hands up and down her body.
Y/N gasped and grabbed his shoulders when his hands cupped her breasts and played with her nipples. She’d had sex before, but they were all asses who never thought of foreplay, so naturally, she was sensitive.
He smiled at her reactions and continued to pinch them, leaning in to kiss her neck when she threw her head back and moaned. He kissed and nipped all over her neck, leaving bruises wherever his lips touched.
She bucked her hips up into his when he found her sweet spot, and she wrapped her fingers in his hair while he sucked at it.
“Patrick, stop. We shouldn’t be doing this.” Y/N panted heavily. She didn’t want him to stop at all, but she held onto a small sense of her dignity.
They shouldn’t be doing this with the other students just a couple yards away from them, but she also knew that Patrick didn’t care.
All he did was move further down her neck and kiss her collarbone before lifting her shirt over her breasts and attaching his lips to them.
She moaned, loudly, and reached a hand up to cover her mouth. Patrick laughed and sucked all over her smooth skin, his hands now moving down her hips, to the waistband of her underwear.
“Fuck, stop. We can’t do this.” Even though her brain said one thing, her body said another. She didn’t do anything to stop him, other than tell him to.
She knew he wouldn’t listen, though, so she didn’t know why she was even trying.
His hands ghosted over her underwear to the inside of her thighs, and he rubbed the soft flesh. He pinched her and she whined, him smiling once again. 
Patrick slowly moved his hand up to where she wanted him most, and he ran a finger up her groin as she thrusted her hips towards it.
“Patrick, please.” Y/N didn’t even know what she was begging for, at this point. Whether he stopped or didn’t, it didn’t matter to her anymore. She just wanted to keep feeling good.
His fingers moved her underwear to the side and he ran a finger through her folds once again, detaching himself from her nipple.
He stared her in the eyes and brought the finger to his lips, sucking off the mess she left on them. 
“Patrick, please!”
His fingers moved skillfully and he kissed her, his middle finger plunging into her entrance all the way to his knuckle. She moaned loudly once again, but this time his mouth caught it. He stretched her out, and when he thought she was ready, he put his index finger in with it.
Y/N moved her hips with his fingers, trying to match the speed he was going at. It didn’t help that he was purposely messing up his rhythm so that she couldn’t, and he grinned when she sobbed into his mouth.
“Please, Patrick,” She whimpered, “‘M so close!”
He placed his thumb on her clit and rubbed it in a circular motion, reattaching himself to her nipple. “Go ahead.”
She cried out and clenched around his fingers, her hips finally being able to match his speed and rhythm. He let her ride out her high before he took his fingers away and moved down, licking up what was left on his fingers and her cunt.
When he was done, he sucked at her clit harshly, and she cursed out and tugged his hair away from her.
He sat up and wiped away what was on his chin, sucked at her sternum until he left a hickey, and pulled her shirt down.
Patrick palmed at his boxers and then kissed her before rolling over next to her, reassuming his position with his arm behind his head. 
“When I wake up, I expect to see you with my dick down your throat.” He told her, closing his eyes and getting comfortable.
“Yeah. M’kay, I guess.”
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theminecraftbee · 10 months
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Joel turns around. Martyn is standing there. His eyes are a burning red that gives Joel the heebie-jeebies. If anyone would know to be scared, it's Joel! He would! He'd recognize a mad dog if he saw one anywhere!
Anyway, all of that is to say that his high-pitched scream had been totally justified. "Oh my word Martyn what are you doing here?" he says, clutching his hand over his heart, several feet further back than he'd been thirty seconds ago.
Martyn snorts. "Is the sign not for me? Figured there was no one else it could be for."
"The what?"
"The sign."
Joel turns around. Outside his base, the other Mounders have hung a helpful banner: "SORRY EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD <3".
He'd told them it was kind of rude, hanging that up. Sort of made light of the whole thing, really. His wife and Mumbo and Jimmy had died, guys, don't be idiots about it. Bdubs had loudly told him that he was TRYING to be helpful, Joel, geez, why don't you appreciate his efforts? Pearl had shrugged and said they don't exactly make cards for this kind of thing. Joel's pretty sure they do, actually but...
Sorry everyone you love is dead. Hah.
"My wife is dead, Martyn," Joel says.
"Who, Lizzie or Jimmy?" Martyn says, weirdly dark. "Anyway, my husband's dead, so--"
"Your what?"
"Mumbo and I got married one time. Everyone forgets that for some reason."
Joel has to think about it a while. "Huh."
"Yeah. Anyway, you've still got the other Mounders, huh? Don't know what you're crying about. Thought the sign had to be for me. Thought I'd show up. Get cake. Kill some people. You know how it is."
"If there's a TNT minecart in my base, the first thing I do after I turn red is kill you," Joel says.
"That's not really how it works this time," Martyn says.
"Yeah, well, screw you," Joel says. "Also, they didn't make me any cake. I should ask them for that next. Hah. A cake."
"You know, maybe don't ask for that? Parties tend to go wrong in this game."
"And who's fault is that, huh?"
"Hey, don't look at me! Or, do. Since I'm going to kill everyone, on account of everyone I love being dead and all. Really convenient excuse for murder, that. I should use it more often, if it didn't involve the crippling grief," Martyn says.
"Oh, please. At least you tend to have people to love in the first place," Joel snaps.
"Oh, right, that is your curse, isn't it?" Martyn says. "Sorta broke it last time, but you do tend to get isolated and a bit crazy. Hey, I wonder if we're the ones who traded, actually what with the whole wolf thing."
Joel blinks. "What?"
"Oh, we're all cursed," Martyn says. "After all, They like it better that way. Hey, do you think Jimmy's curse transferred to Lizzie, got cancelled out by the fact Lizzie tends to die stupidly, or got broken? Personally, I'm thinking random fluke, when it comes to canary nonsense."
Joel stares at Martyn. His throat is dry. "What?"
Martyn stares back. "Hey, I'm the mad dog this time," Martyn says. "You probably shouldn't be the one growling."
"Well then, you should stop saying stupid shit," Joel says.
"Stupid? Please. It's obvious everyone is cursed. Nothing to be done about it but to play into the--"
"NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED," Joel shouts, his vision suddenly red and blurry in a way it shouldn't be when he's still on yellow. "NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED. THERE'S NO SUCH THING! YOU'RE JUST, JUST MAKIN' UP REASONS IT ISN'T ALL A TRAGEDY THAT EVERYONE I LOVE IS FUCKING DEAD, MAKING UP REASONS THAT IT--NO ONE IS CURSED! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENS! AND WOULDN'T IT BE BLUMIN' NICE IF THERE WERE A HIGHER POWER BUT THERE ISN'T SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CURSES!"
He's panting. Martyn is staring at him. He stares back, a snarl on his teeth, the echoes of wolves and of grief, grief, grief, grief playing at the back of his throat.
"Joel?" Martyn says, hesitant.
"My wife is fucking dead. My best friend is fucking dead. One of my new possible best friends is fucking dead. Sorry about your husband, I guess? Get out."
"Bold thing to say to the guy who can kill--"
"I SAID GET OUT!"
Martyn stares at Joel a moment longer, and Joel finds he's not scared of the madness in his eyes at all.
Martyn leaves.
Joel realizes he's crying. The tears turn into giant, ugly sobs. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead.
"I blumin' hate caring about people," he says to no one at all through choked breaths, and he kicks a rock at the banner for good measure. It pokes a little hole through it and bounces off the dick-shaped tower behind it.
"Someone really should have made both of us a blumin' cake, they should," he says next, and he sits down until Pearl runs over, having heard the shouting. His face is red and his vision is still swimming. She stares at him, gathers him in her arms, and cries with him, and for the life of him, he doesn't know if that's any better.
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idyllcy · 10 days
Text
you make me wanna make ya fall in love
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word count: 1.97k || EMT Leon || slightly ooc + flirting (HIPAA violation)
summary: the 2000s called, they want their romcom plot back
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"I'm actually gonna pass out." You sit on the couch, blinking rapidly as your head goes light.
"I called 911 already, so hang in there, alright?!" Ashley stays connected to the call, holding you up as you groan, stomach caving in on itself and your eyes giving out. Oh, god, is this how you die? You focus on breathing through your mouth, ignoring the way Ashley's voice is reduced to ringing and the way you're sweating buckets. Ew. Maybe you should've— oh. this is because you didn't eat, huh? It is 8pm. Yeah, this one's on you. Maybe the heavens will be nice and let a nice hot EMT show up to your door and save your ass— yeah, tough luck.
You can't believe you're about to pass out and all you can think about is men. You're literally failing the Bechdel test. What are you? Some poor girl in a teenage romcom? You're not even a teenager.
You close your eyes for some shut-eye, disrupted when you're shaken awake, blinking slowly as you catch sight of Ashley first, holding her chest in relief when you stare at her.
Then, you notice him—
Beautiful blonde hair, brilliant blue eyes, arms hard as a rock, you might've just died and landed in heaven. Are you in heaven? Surely you must be. This man looks so gorgeous it's incredible. You have to be in heaven right now. You blink at him with doe-eyes, confusion visible on your face. Ashley's here, so you're not in heaven. Did you just happen to have a super hot EMT show up to your door like you had been imagining? Oh, god, are you... psychic? This is a revelation! This is insane! You have to—
No, seriously. You're not in a romcom. Can the narrator stop describing it like it's some sort of a romcom? The 2000s called, they want their cheesy romcom plotline back.
"Fucking hell." You groan, shifting against the wall. "How long was I out?"
"Ten minutes." The man reads. "You're just low in blood sugar. We have some orange juice, would you like that?"
"Yeah. Sure." You furrow your brows. "God, wow, count on my body to shut down without sugar."
"It happens." He thanks his coworker for the glass, holding it to your lips. "Tilt, please."
You tilt your head back slightly to press your lips to the glass, drinking it as you lean back to lick your lips, offering to take the glass from him as your arms start cooperating. "I can do it."
"Best not to." He nods. "Just finish the glass. We'll stay until your blood sugar rises."
"Isn't it almost immediate?"
"Takes around 15 minutes."
You raise a brow at Ashley, who shakes her head, and you finish the rest of the glass, watching as Leon checks your stats.
"How often does this happen..." You glance at his nameplate. "Leon?"
"More often than you'd think." He hums, tilting his head at you as Ashley talks to the other worker about your insurance. "Let me guess, you forgot to eat?"
"Yeah. My body stops feeling hunger after a certain point." You hum. "It's not super good, huh?"
"Yeah. Try to have some candy or juice throughout the day. It helps." He nods. "College student life, huh?"
You tilt your head. "How old are you?"
"Been a few years since school." He nods. "Your blood sugar's back to normal, sugar."
You hold your hand over your mouth, raising a brow at him. "That definitely breaks some sort of work protocol."
He smiles, sneaking you a candy from his pocket with a wink.
Huh. Hard caramel.
"Are you alright?" Ashley rests a hand on your shoulder, and you give her a thumbs up.
"All good." You lean against the wall to get up. "I should eat, though."
Leon grabs your arm, helping you up. "Definitely. Have something high in sugar or carbs."
"Will do, Leon." You nod. "Wishing you an uneventful work day. May no emergency be absolutely awful."
"Thank you. Those days are the best."
You send them off as Ashley starts nagging about not eating, and you pout as you lock eyes with her, door locked, ambulance gone.
"Yeah, he was hot."
"YEAH, HE WAS."
You forget about him, though. You start popping candy throughout the day, same brand as the one Leon had given you, your lips curled upwards sweetly when it hits your tongue. It's not food, but at least you won't be passing out because your blood sugar's low again.
You're also never going to see him again, so it's fine if you carry a piece of him around with you.
Except you do. You see him at the EMT booth at a local concert, Ashley in your arms because there's something wrong with her this time. (You really ought to start taking care of yourselves, huh?)
"Ah, sugar." Leon smiles. "Friend this time?"
"Yes." You set her down as he checks up on her. "Is she okay?"
"Seems fine. Just needs some water. Dehydration. How long you been out there?"
"Since morning." You glance at the venue. "Didn't eat either, though I've been having candy."
"That's not good for you, sugar." He hands Ashley a bottle of water, sending her off with you. "Go grab some food."
You watch as he fishes out a twenty from his pocket, blinking as he holds it out to you.
"I can't take that from you, sir."
"Nonsense. Concert food is expensive. It's on me." He smiles.
"You're still breaking workplace rules, I see." You rummage through your pockets, taking Leon's hand as you place a caramel in his hand. "As a thank you."
"I'm sure it'll be delicious later." He smiles. "Now, off you go. We've got quite a line."
"Wouldn't dream of holding you up, Leon." You lead Ashley to the side by the crowds, waiting for her to grab a drink before pulling her to grab something to eat. You pay for her food first, setting Ashley with the rest of your friends before waving to get something of your own.
"Get his number!" She manages to yell as you disappear into the crowd.
Now that's breaking protocol.
Yet, you use the remainder of Leon's money to get him something to eat, waiting for the line to dissipate slightly before handing him a drink.
"For me?"
"It's got... liquid IV in it." You scrunch your nose. "Hopefully that's not a scam."
"Not completely." He takes it from you, pinching at the straw to mix it. "Did you eat?"
"I was about to."
He glances at his coworker and then the intermission.
"That'd be bad, Kennedy." The woman next to him warns.
Leon sighs. "Have fun eating."
"Thank you again." You grin.
"Ah, and for dessert." He reaches for your hand, placing another candy in it. "A hard caramel."
"I'm starting to think you have a thing for caramels, Leon." You raise a brow, taking two steps back before throwing a wave his way. "I'll pay you back later!"
You grab dinner with the rest of your friends, waving bye to them when they leave to continue, Ashley making sure that you've got candy on you before she's gone. You have one final singer that you'd like to see before you leave the event. You're glad you live close to the venue. You could probably walk back or uber if you were really desperate. Though, you wonder just how long the EMT are staying.
You find yourself mixed into the crowd as you wait, jumping when your favorite artist finally appears, cheering with everyone else. You don't blame the rest of them for retiring early. You're the only one who listens to this artist anyway. The setlist has you jumping, cheering at the live vocals, yelling your heart out with the lyrics, and when the set finishes, the sun's almost down. It'd be smart of you to head out at this point.
You make a turn to head back, popping the caramel in your mouth, stopping in your tracks when a man blocks your way.
"Where ya off to, sweetheart?"
"...Oh, you know." You smile, nodding to excuse yourself.
"Need a ride home?"
"Truly, it's alright—"
"I insist."
You wrack your brain for a solution, yelping when you feel hands on your waist instead, pulling you backwards. Your back is flush against someone's chest, smile on his lips as you blink. Sure hope it's not some other creep.
"Hey, you good bro? Had one too many to drink? I suggest the EMT tent."
You let out a sigh in relief, watching as the guy notices the uniform and scrambles.
"Thank you." You turn around, smile on your lips as Leon nods.
"You're just too lovely, sugar. Gotta keep those flies off of ya." He nods. "You feeling alright?"
You nod.
"Gone all quiet on me?" He tilts his head. "Alright, up you go."
You yelp as he lifts you into his arms effortlessly, arms wrapping around his neck as he carries you out of the crowd. He presses his forehead to yours to check your temperature, looking to the side when you don't react at all.
"You good?"
"I'm fine, Leon. You didn't need to." You let him take your vitals, the tent practically empty now that the concert was finishing up. His coworker nods at him and heads out, and leaves you with Leon. That's gotta be illegal in some way. There is no way a law is not being broken right there. Aren't they both supposed to get off at the same time? Is that?? legal? Is their shift over?
"You seem fine." He kneels at your chair, fingers on your wrist as he takes your heartbeat. "Heart's a little fast, though."
"Yeah?" You mumble. You're sure you look embarrassed beyond belief right now, so you opt for sucking on the caramel in your mouth.
You're not surprised he takes notice. "Actually, I think my head's spinning just a little. Must be the lack of sugar. You got any on you?"
"Well, I kind of ate my last one..." You mumble, sticking your tongue out with the candy.
"I don't mind."
"Yeah?" You suck on the candy.
"Of course not, sugar." He leans in, tilting his head. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, who am I to say no?"
You let him kiss you, tongue with the caramel offered to him, sugar on your lips and his from it, though you would argue that the only reason the candy seemed to taste so good was because of him. You tilt your head to angle better, Leon's hands finding yours on the chair, pushing himself to you with a hum in his throat, tongue in your mouth as he steals the caramel from you. You don't mind. You might've just tasted a slice of heaven of your own.
You pant, tongue stuck out and mouth open as Leon shows you the candy on his tongue, smiling.
"You got a ride home, sugar?"
"You gonna kidnap me?" You raise a brow, licking your lips for whatever remnant of him is left on you.
"Not with this pretty lady, no." He smiles.
"Breaking work protocol again, I see."
"I'm off duty." He glances to the side as the new shift arrives, and Leon offers a hand to help you up. "Don't worry, sugar, you can pass out on my car. I've got all the candy you could want."
"Hm..." You tap your chin, taking his hand as he pulls you with him, not letting go.
"Hm what?"
"How about we grab brunch sometimes nearby? Just to make sure my sugar levels don't drop from forgetting to eat?" You tilt your head, watching as Leon tilts his head back to you.
"Oh, sugar. You don't even need to ask."
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