Team 7 gets zapped into the warring states era but it's like, team 7 either mid or directly after wave-arc.
They're babies!! They're untrained little babies!!! None of them have gotten that good good character development yet!! Kakashi is still actively desperately wanting to not teach them!! (tho he may have just gotten his "ahh fuck. I actually have to teach them, huh." Moment)
Sasuke looks like a carbon copy of a younger Izuna and it's going to cause problems
Naruto thankfully doesn't look much like an Uzumaki, but his tendency to very loudly introduce himself is going to get him into trouble
Going w my usual flavor of "the Hatake are a very small but very famous clan known for being fucking insane", people are seeing Kakashi and going "oh god oh fuck what are one of THOSE guys doing here oh sage preserve us please don't eat me" as Kakashi just kinda stands there like 🧍♂️
Sakura is the only one safe from not being fucked up and over her clan, good for her!
-> back to the Hatake thing.
The kids still know virtually nothing about their sensei so they're learning all this stuff about his clan and believing every word of it, from the believable rumors to the insane.
Sakura, in a hushed, worried voice: "Sensei,, is it true ur clan eats people??"
Kakashi, who's father died before he could tell him almost anything about their clan and genuinely doesn't know but at this point is starting to get a little worried about it:
Kakashi, who also never passes up the opportunity to fuck with someone: "only stupid little students who ask stupid little questions <3"
Sakura and Sasuke: *worriedly look at a confused Naruto*
For convoluted reasons they run into the Hatake of the era and after introductions they look at the kids and are like,
"Oh!!! Ok, so this is your kid, right? :)" pointing at Sakura.
And Kakashi is like. ",,no."
"Ohhh, ok. So this one is your kid then?" *points at Naruto*
",,,,,,,,no."
They look at him confused then nod at Sasuke. "So then that one's your kid, right?"
"None of them are my children."
*visibly disapproving / disbelieving side eye*
One big difference between this and the team ro time travel one is how much less trustworthy Kakashi comes off to literally everyone who looks at him.
He's a trained adult shinobi, probable bloodline thief (with no way to prove his innocence), and he has 3 children from 3 different clans (2 of which are indirectly enemies bc the Uzumaki is a Senju ally) (1 of which might have a direct relation to the Uchiha main house) and comes from an infamously volatile "wild clan" from another country entirely (Iron country)
He is NOT getting out of this with talk no jutsu bullshit. He has a target on his back from day 1 and it will take a minor miracle to get even a single person hear him out
Anyways uhh—
Saying Tajima and Butsuma are still alive but due to die in some months (till team 7 accidentally interfere and somehow accidentally save Tajima, maybe also Butsuma but I'm more biased towards Tajima so I'm thinking just him actually)
Kakashi sees baby Kagami and feels like he's been hit by a truck bc he looks just like a miniature Shisui and he has hang-ups about his "suicide"
Half-Hatake Tobirama is catching HEAT from Kakashi's antics. Why does one of ur cousins have a sharingan. Where did he get those children. Do you know anything about this. Is it your duty to help hunt him down bc hes your blood. If not yours then it's definatley the Hatake's, call them immediately and tell them to clean up their mess.
Bloodline theft is like THE ultimate no-no for all shinobi, especially in this era. To the point that even ancient enemies will sometimes temporarily set aside grudges to kill bloodline theives. Kakashi is so fucked, someone get him out of there
Mmmm there are like still bits and pieces of thoughts floating around in my head for this but I can feel myself getting distracted and want to get back to art fight so I'll leave it here for now
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"Sweltering"
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Summary (Smut): Y/N and Patrick are placed as partners on their senior camp trip for Derry high-school. Regrets are thought after Patrick convinced her to place their tent further away from the others, and when their fans die in the middle of the night in the awful Derry heat.
Warnings: Vulgar language, dubious consent, fingering, cunnilingus, nipple play, camping, in a tent. Patrick and Reader are 18 and seniors!
A/N: Sorry guys, motivation kind of went out the window for my WIP's and I can't think when I try to write them, so here's this apology while I wait for my writer's block to end!
Smut under the cut!!
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It was dark out, and hot. The Derry highschool had a camp field trip that only the seniors could go on as a ‘going away’ event for their graduation. Y/N and Patrick were partnered together, much to each other’s distaste.
There was an odd amount of people on the trip, and when Y/N was told that the other student was going to join her group of three and that she’d have to be with Patrick, she groaned.
–
“Do I have to? What have I done to deserve this?” She begged her councilor to change the groups.
“Ms. L/N, you’re the perfect student, and he isn’t. We’re hoping that maybe while on this trip, you can influence him in some kind of way. Please, you can still hang out with your past group, you just need to stick with him as well.” Her councilor begged her back, hope shining in his eyes.
All the teachers at the highschool knew that Patrick wasn’t the greatest student, so they always paired her and him together when they could. Projects and presentations, hell, they even made her his tutor. She hated how much time out of her life he took up, and he hated how much of his she took up.
“Fucking, fine. Whatever.” Y/N sighed dramatically and walked away to talk to her friends.
She heard a faint ‘language’ from her councilor before getting pulled aside and directed the other way.
“So, we’re buddies again. Huh, toots?” Patrick grinned and put his hand on her waist while walking her towards their assigned bus.
“Guess so,” Y/N rolled her eyes at the nickname he gave her when they met, and pulled his hand that was slowly moving to her ass off of her. “Don’t fuck this trip up.”
“I’ll think about it.”
–
Patrick did not, in fact, think about it.
He somehow convinced her to set up their tent further away from the others, and the fans that they were given on the bus had died. They were both sweating and kicked off their blankets, and now they laid on their sleeping bags.
“I hate you.” Y/N panted, using the safety folder as a fan. She was wearing a dark green tank top and sweatpants on, and she was sweltering.
“Mutual feelings.” Patrick responded, laying on his back with his arms behind his head. He took his shirt off and was wearing his black boxers, even though Y/N complained about him taking off his pants.
She knew she couldn’t say much, though, having taken off her bra earlier in the night because of how uncomfortable it was. She also knew that he was staring at her breasts half the time, but she didn’t bring it up. He’d do it if she had a sweater on, too.
Y/N stopped fanning herself for a moment and stared at the wall of the tent in front of her, and Patrick looked over at her.
“What?”
“Don’t get any ideas.” She set down the folder and stood up as he stared at her, watching her every movement.
She glanced at him and caught his eyes before looking away quickly and reaching her fingers into her waistband. Pulling off her pants, she stood there in her black lace panties, bare to Patrick’s eyes.
“Thought you were gonna get some?” Patrick snickered at her fancy underwear as she sat down and scoffed.
“Yeah, from Taylor.” She smiled sarcastically and fanned herself with the folder again, sighing in relief at the difference her lack of clothing made.
She’ll admit, she was hoping that she’d end up getting a tent with Taylor because she thought he was hot, but now she was stuck with Patrick. Who was kind of attractive.
But also really attractive.
Patrick hummed and watched her again before a large grin grew on his face. He sat up from his sleeping bag and crawled over to her when she closed her eyes, and he covered her mouth with his hand when she yelped in surprise.
“Patrick, what the fuck!” She hissed quietly to not wake the other campers.
“Shut up and enjoy this.” He sneered and slid his hands up and down her body.
Y/N gasped and grabbed his shoulders when his hands cupped her breasts and played with her nipples. She’d had sex before, but they were all asses who never thought of foreplay, so naturally, she was sensitive.
He smiled at her reactions and continued to pinch them, leaning in to kiss her neck when she threw her head back and moaned. He kissed and nipped all over her neck, leaving bruises wherever his lips touched.
She bucked her hips up into his when he found her sweet spot, and she wrapped her fingers in his hair while he sucked at it.
“Patrick, stop. We shouldn’t be doing this.” Y/N panted heavily. She didn’t want him to stop at all, but she held onto a small sense of her dignity.
They shouldn’t be doing this with the other students just a couple yards away from them, but she also knew that Patrick didn’t care.
All he did was move further down her neck and kiss her collarbone before lifting her shirt over her breasts and attaching his lips to them.
She moaned, loudly, and reached a hand up to cover her mouth. Patrick laughed and sucked all over her smooth skin, his hands now moving down her hips, to the waistband of her underwear.
“Fuck, stop. We can’t do this.” Even though her brain said one thing, her body said another. She didn’t do anything to stop him, other than tell him to.
She knew he wouldn’t listen, though, so she didn’t know why she was even trying.
His hands ghosted over her underwear to the inside of her thighs, and he rubbed the soft flesh. He pinched her and she whined, him smiling once again.
Patrick slowly moved his hand up to where she wanted him most, and he ran a finger up her groin as she thrusted her hips towards it.
“Patrick, please.” Y/N didn’t even know what she was begging for, at this point. Whether he stopped or didn’t, it didn’t matter to her anymore. She just wanted to keep feeling good.
His fingers moved her underwear to the side and he ran a finger through her folds once again, detaching himself from her nipple.
He stared her in the eyes and brought the finger to his lips, sucking off the mess she left on them.
“Patrick, please!”
His fingers moved skillfully and he kissed her, his middle finger plunging into her entrance all the way to his knuckle. She moaned loudly once again, but this time his mouth caught it. He stretched her out, and when he thought she was ready, he put his index finger in with it.
Y/N moved her hips with his fingers, trying to match the speed he was going at. It didn’t help that he was purposely messing up his rhythm so that she couldn’t, and he grinned when she sobbed into his mouth.
“Please, Patrick,” She whimpered, “‘M so close!”
He placed his thumb on her clit and rubbed it in a circular motion, reattaching himself to her nipple. “Go ahead.”
She cried out and clenched around his fingers, her hips finally being able to match his speed and rhythm. He let her ride out her high before he took his fingers away and moved down, licking up what was left on his fingers and her cunt.
When he was done, he sucked at her clit harshly, and she cursed out and tugged his hair away from her.
He sat up and wiped away what was on his chin, sucked at her sternum until he left a hickey, and pulled her shirt down.
Patrick palmed at his boxers and then kissed her before rolling over next to her, reassuming his position with his arm behind his head.
“When I wake up, I expect to see you with my dick down your throat.” He told her, closing his eyes and getting comfortable.
“Yeah. M’kay, I guess.”
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Joel turns around. Martyn is standing there. His eyes are a burning red that gives Joel the heebie-jeebies. If anyone would know to be scared, it's Joel! He would! He'd recognize a mad dog if he saw one anywhere!
Anyway, all of that is to say that his high-pitched scream had been totally justified. "Oh my word Martyn what are you doing here?" he says, clutching his hand over his heart, several feet further back than he'd been thirty seconds ago.
Martyn snorts. "Is the sign not for me? Figured there was no one else it could be for."
"The what?"
"The sign."
Joel turns around. Outside his base, the other Mounders have hung a helpful banner: "SORRY EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD <3".
He'd told them it was kind of rude, hanging that up. Sort of made light of the whole thing, really. His wife and Mumbo and Jimmy had died, guys, don't be idiots about it. Bdubs had loudly told him that he was TRYING to be helpful, Joel, geez, why don't you appreciate his efforts? Pearl had shrugged and said they don't exactly make cards for this kind of thing. Joel's pretty sure they do, actually but...
Sorry everyone you love is dead. Hah.
"My wife is dead, Martyn," Joel says.
"Who, Lizzie or Jimmy?" Martyn says, weirdly dark. "Anyway, my husband's dead, so--"
"Your what?"
"Mumbo and I got married one time. Everyone forgets that for some reason."
Joel has to think about it a while. "Huh."
"Yeah. Anyway, you've still got the other Mounders, huh? Don't know what you're crying about. Thought the sign had to be for me. Thought I'd show up. Get cake. Kill some people. You know how it is."
"If there's a TNT minecart in my base, the first thing I do after I turn red is kill you," Joel says.
"That's not really how it works this time," Martyn says.
"Yeah, well, screw you," Joel says. "Also, they didn't make me any cake. I should ask them for that next. Hah. A cake."
"You know, maybe don't ask for that? Parties tend to go wrong in this game."
"And who's fault is that, huh?"
"Hey, don't look at me! Or, do. Since I'm going to kill everyone, on account of everyone I love being dead and all. Really convenient excuse for murder, that. I should use it more often, if it didn't involve the crippling grief," Martyn says.
"Oh, please. At least you tend to have people to love in the first place," Joel snaps.
"Oh, right, that is your curse, isn't it?" Martyn says. "Sorta broke it last time, but you do tend to get isolated and a bit crazy. Hey, I wonder if we're the ones who traded, actually what with the whole wolf thing."
Joel blinks. "What?"
"Oh, we're all cursed," Martyn says. "After all, They like it better that way. Hey, do you think Jimmy's curse transferred to Lizzie, got cancelled out by the fact Lizzie tends to die stupidly, or got broken? Personally, I'm thinking random fluke, when it comes to canary nonsense."
Joel stares at Martyn. His throat is dry. "What?"
Martyn stares back. "Hey, I'm the mad dog this time," Martyn says. "You probably shouldn't be the one growling."
"Well then, you should stop saying stupid shit," Joel says.
"Stupid? Please. It's obvious everyone is cursed. Nothing to be done about it but to play into the--"
"NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED," Joel shouts, his vision suddenly red and blurry in a way it shouldn't be when he's still on yellow. "NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED. THERE'S NO SUCH THING! YOU'RE JUST, JUST MAKIN' UP REASONS IT ISN'T ALL A TRAGEDY THAT EVERYONE I LOVE IS FUCKING DEAD, MAKING UP REASONS THAT IT--NO ONE IS CURSED! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENS! AND WOULDN'T IT BE BLUMIN' NICE IF THERE WERE A HIGHER POWER BUT THERE ISN'T SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CURSES!"
He's panting. Martyn is staring at him. He stares back, a snarl on his teeth, the echoes of wolves and of grief, grief, grief, grief playing at the back of his throat.
"Joel?" Martyn says, hesitant.
"My wife is fucking dead. My best friend is fucking dead. One of my new possible best friends is fucking dead. Sorry about your husband, I guess? Get out."
"Bold thing to say to the guy who can kill--"
"I SAID GET OUT!"
Martyn stares at Joel a moment longer, and Joel finds he's not scared of the madness in his eyes at all.
Martyn leaves.
Joel realizes he's crying. The tears turn into giant, ugly sobs. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead.
"I blumin' hate caring about people," he says to no one at all through choked breaths, and he kicks a rock at the banner for good measure. It pokes a little hole through it and bounces off the dick-shaped tower behind it.
"Someone really should have made both of us a blumin' cake, they should," he says next, and he sits down until Pearl runs over, having heard the shouting. His face is red and his vision is still swimming. She stares at him, gathers him in her arms, and cries with him, and for the life of him, he doesn't know if that's any better.
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you make me wanna make ya fall in love
word count: 1.97k || EMT Leon || slightly ooc + flirting (HIPAA violation)
summary: the 2000s called, they want their romcom plot back
"I'm actually gonna pass out." You sit on the couch, blinking rapidly as your head goes light.
"I called 911 already, so hang in there, alright?!" Ashley stays connected to the call, holding you up as you groan, stomach caving in on itself and your eyes giving out. Oh, god, is this how you die? You focus on breathing through your mouth, ignoring the way Ashley's voice is reduced to ringing and the way you're sweating buckets. Ew. Maybe you should've— oh. this is because you didn't eat, huh? It is 8pm. Yeah, this one's on you. Maybe the heavens will be nice and let a nice hot EMT show up to your door and save your ass— yeah, tough luck.
You can't believe you're about to pass out and all you can think about is men. You're literally failing the Bechdel test. What are you? Some poor girl in a teenage romcom? You're not even a teenager.
You close your eyes for some shut-eye, disrupted when you're shaken awake, blinking slowly as you catch sight of Ashley first, holding her chest in relief when you stare at her.
Then, you notice him—
Beautiful blonde hair, brilliant blue eyes, arms hard as a rock, you might've just died and landed in heaven. Are you in heaven? Surely you must be. This man looks so gorgeous it's incredible. You have to be in heaven right now. You blink at him with doe-eyes, confusion visible on your face. Ashley's here, so you're not in heaven. Did you just happen to have a super hot EMT show up to your door like you had been imagining? Oh, god, are you... psychic? This is a revelation! This is insane! You have to—
No, seriously. You're not in a romcom. Can the narrator stop describing it like it's some sort of a romcom? The 2000s called, they want their cheesy romcom plotline back.
"Fucking hell." You groan, shifting against the wall. "How long was I out?"
"Ten minutes." The man reads. "You're just low in blood sugar. We have some orange juice, would you like that?"
"Yeah. Sure." You furrow your brows. "God, wow, count on my body to shut down without sugar."
"It happens." He thanks his coworker for the glass, holding it to your lips. "Tilt, please."
You tilt your head back slightly to press your lips to the glass, drinking it as you lean back to lick your lips, offering to take the glass from him as your arms start cooperating. "I can do it."
"Best not to." He nods. "Just finish the glass. We'll stay until your blood sugar rises."
"Isn't it almost immediate?"
"Takes around 15 minutes."
You raise a brow at Ashley, who shakes her head, and you finish the rest of the glass, watching as Leon checks your stats.
"How often does this happen..." You glance at his nameplate. "Leon?"
"More often than you'd think." He hums, tilting his head at you as Ashley talks to the other worker about your insurance. "Let me guess, you forgot to eat?"
"Yeah. My body stops feeling hunger after a certain point." You hum. "It's not super good, huh?"
"Yeah. Try to have some candy or juice throughout the day. It helps." He nods. "College student life, huh?"
You tilt your head. "How old are you?"
"Been a few years since school." He nods. "Your blood sugar's back to normal, sugar."
You hold your hand over your mouth, raising a brow at him. "That definitely breaks some sort of work protocol."
He smiles, sneaking you a candy from his pocket with a wink.
Huh. Hard caramel.
"Are you alright?" Ashley rests a hand on your shoulder, and you give her a thumbs up.
"All good." You lean against the wall to get up. "I should eat, though."
Leon grabs your arm, helping you up. "Definitely. Have something high in sugar or carbs."
"Will do, Leon." You nod. "Wishing you an uneventful work day. May no emergency be absolutely awful."
"Thank you. Those days are the best."
You send them off as Ashley starts nagging about not eating, and you pout as you lock eyes with her, door locked, ambulance gone.
"Yeah, he was hot."
"YEAH, HE WAS."
You forget about him, though. You start popping candy throughout the day, same brand as the one Leon had given you, your lips curled upwards sweetly when it hits your tongue. It's not food, but at least you won't be passing out because your blood sugar's low again.
You're also never going to see him again, so it's fine if you carry a piece of him around with you.
Except you do. You see him at the EMT booth at a local concert, Ashley in your arms because there's something wrong with her this time. (You really ought to start taking care of yourselves, huh?)
"Ah, sugar." Leon smiles. "Friend this time?"
"Yes." You set her down as he checks up on her. "Is she okay?"
"Seems fine. Just needs some water. Dehydration. How long you been out there?"
"Since morning." You glance at the venue. "Didn't eat either, though I've been having candy."
"That's not good for you, sugar." He hands Ashley a bottle of water, sending her off with you. "Go grab some food."
You watch as he fishes out a twenty from his pocket, blinking as he holds it out to you.
"I can't take that from you, sir."
"Nonsense. Concert food is expensive. It's on me." He smiles.
"You're still breaking workplace rules, I see." You rummage through your pockets, taking Leon's hand as you place a caramel in his hand. "As a thank you."
"I'm sure it'll be delicious later." He smiles. "Now, off you go. We've got quite a line."
"Wouldn't dream of holding you up, Leon." You lead Ashley to the side by the crowds, waiting for her to grab a drink before pulling her to grab something to eat. You pay for her food first, setting Ashley with the rest of your friends before waving to get something of your own.
"Get his number!" She manages to yell as you disappear into the crowd.
Now that's breaking protocol.
Yet, you use the remainder of Leon's money to get him something to eat, waiting for the line to dissipate slightly before handing him a drink.
"For me?"
"It's got... liquid IV in it." You scrunch your nose. "Hopefully that's not a scam."
"Not completely." He takes it from you, pinching at the straw to mix it. "Did you eat?"
"I was about to."
He glances at his coworker and then the intermission.
"That'd be bad, Kennedy." The woman next to him warns.
Leon sighs. "Have fun eating."
"Thank you again." You grin.
"Ah, and for dessert." He reaches for your hand, placing another candy in it. "A hard caramel."
"I'm starting to think you have a thing for caramels, Leon." You raise a brow, taking two steps back before throwing a wave his way. "I'll pay you back later!"
You grab dinner with the rest of your friends, waving bye to them when they leave to continue, Ashley making sure that you've got candy on you before she's gone. You have one final singer that you'd like to see before you leave the event. You're glad you live close to the venue. You could probably walk back or uber if you were really desperate. Though, you wonder just how long the EMT are staying.
You find yourself mixed into the crowd as you wait, jumping when your favorite artist finally appears, cheering with everyone else. You don't blame the rest of them for retiring early. You're the only one who listens to this artist anyway. The setlist has you jumping, cheering at the live vocals, yelling your heart out with the lyrics, and when the set finishes, the sun's almost down. It'd be smart of you to head out at this point.
You make a turn to head back, popping the caramel in your mouth, stopping in your tracks when a man blocks your way.
"Where ya off to, sweetheart?"
"...Oh, you know." You smile, nodding to excuse yourself.
"Need a ride home?"
"Truly, it's alright—"
"I insist."
You wrack your brain for a solution, yelping when you feel hands on your waist instead, pulling you backwards. Your back is flush against someone's chest, smile on his lips as you blink. Sure hope it's not some other creep.
"Hey, you good bro? Had one too many to drink? I suggest the EMT tent."
You let out a sigh in relief, watching as the guy notices the uniform and scrambles.
"Thank you." You turn around, smile on your lips as Leon nods.
"You're just too lovely, sugar. Gotta keep those flies off of ya." He nods. "You feeling alright?"
You nod.
"Gone all quiet on me?" He tilts his head. "Alright, up you go."
You yelp as he lifts you into his arms effortlessly, arms wrapping around his neck as he carries you out of the crowd. He presses his forehead to yours to check your temperature, looking to the side when you don't react at all.
"You good?"
"I'm fine, Leon. You didn't need to." You let him take your vitals, the tent practically empty now that the concert was finishing up. His coworker nods at him and heads out, and leaves you with Leon. That's gotta be illegal in some way. There is no way a law is not being broken right there. Aren't they both supposed to get off at the same time? Is that?? legal? Is their shift over?
"You seem fine." He kneels at your chair, fingers on your wrist as he takes your heartbeat. "Heart's a little fast, though."
"Yeah?" You mumble. You're sure you look embarrassed beyond belief right now, so you opt for sucking on the caramel in your mouth.
You're not surprised he takes notice. "Actually, I think my head's spinning just a little. Must be the lack of sugar. You got any on you?"
"Well, I kind of ate my last one..." You mumble, sticking your tongue out with the candy.
"I don't mind."
"Yeah?" You suck on the candy.
"Of course not, sugar." He leans in, tilting his head. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, who am I to say no?"
You let him kiss you, tongue with the caramel offered to him, sugar on your lips and his from it, though you would argue that the only reason the candy seemed to taste so good was because of him. You tilt your head to angle better, Leon's hands finding yours on the chair, pushing himself to you with a hum in his throat, tongue in your mouth as he steals the caramel from you. You don't mind. You might've just tasted a slice of heaven of your own.
You pant, tongue stuck out and mouth open as Leon shows you the candy on his tongue, smiling.
"You got a ride home, sugar?"
"You gonna kidnap me?" You raise a brow, licking your lips for whatever remnant of him is left on you.
"Not with this pretty lady, no." He smiles.
"Breaking work protocol again, I see."
"I'm off duty." He glances to the side as the new shift arrives, and Leon offers a hand to help you up. "Don't worry, sugar, you can pass out on my car. I've got all the candy you could want."
"Hm..." You tap your chin, taking his hand as he pulls you with him, not letting go.
"Hm what?"
"How about we grab brunch sometimes nearby? Just to make sure my sugar levels don't drop from forgetting to eat?" You tilt your head, watching as Leon tilts his head back to you.
"Oh, sugar. You don't even need to ask."
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