#what i want most
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Yeah, I guess I do. But like, what even is a star beam, you know? Now, a lead pipe to the shins? That's just reliable, baby.
PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAGICAL GIRL Kiana Khansmith / @kianamaiart (2025 Pilot Animatic)
#idwtbamg#i don't want to be a magical girl#dailyanimatedgifs#dailyanimatedpoc#extremely fun that the part i wanted to gif most anyway was the part that was fully coloured and animated#what a delight of a pilot ep also <3 loved the concept for a while and it is soooo fun seeing it come to life#i am normal about magical girl media so. big fan#mine#flashing //
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#it’s so AOUGH!!!#especially mithrun and falin and thistle#but everyone has some element of this#it’s also so important that the characters in majority DONT get what they want#marcille never gets to even out the lifespan between races#falin is never returned to her pre chimera state#mithrun never got to truly be the version of himself he want to be#like idk i could go on#but there’s smthn to the fact that not all the problems are fixed#and actually most of the time it’s better they aren’t#IDKKKK IRS JUST SO AOUGH
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if you have a transfem lover I do not even know how to begin to explain how important it is that you touch her without her having to ask
#puppy barks#obviously like some people won't want that#but god what I wouldn't give to be fucking#explored? worshipped?#someone just grabbing me and feeling me like I'm the most beautiful creation on earth.#like they can't have enough of me.#and i hate feeling like I have to ask for it.#I want to feel like loving me like that comes naturally.
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Not telling y'all that you should be able to identify AI slop (but it is a valuable skill, you totes should), but if you're to be accusing artists of being AI left and right at least go and do your homework, or at least do the bare minimum and use AI identification tools like Hive Moderation, so you 1- don't ruin someone's lifehood 2- don't make a clown out of yourself maybe
Like, i get it, AI slop and "AI artists" pretending to be genuine is getting harder and harder to identify, but just accusing someone out of the blue and calling it a day doesn't make it any better.
The AI clowns shifted to styles that have less "tells" and the AI arts are becoming better. Yeah, it sucks ass.
They're also integrating them with memes, so you chuckle and share, like those knights with pink backgrounds, some cool frog and a funny one liner, so you get used to their aesthetic.
This is an art from the new coming set Final Fantasy for MtG. This is someone on Reddit accusing someone of using AI. From what i can tell, and i fucking hate AI, there is NO AI used on this image.
As far as i can tell and as far as any tool i've used, the Artist didn't use AI. which leads to the next one:
they accused the artist of this one of using Ai. the name of this artist is Nestor Ossandon.
He as already been FALSELY ACCUSED of using AI, because he drew a HAND THAT LOOKED A LITTLE WEIRD, which caused a statement from D&D Beyond, confirming that no AI has been used.
Not to repeat mysef, they're accusing the art above, that is by Nestor, to have used Ai.
REAL artists are not machines. And just like the AI slop, we are not perfect and we make mistakes. The hands we draw have wonky fingers sometimes. The folds we draw are weird. But we are REAL. We are real people. And hey, some of our "mistakes" sometimes are CHOICES. Artistic choices are a thing yo.
If you're to accuse someone of using Ai, i know it's getting hard to identify. But come on. At least do your due diligence.
#no#i will not “tag” the Ai artists of the catsune miku and the cat cux for all i care AI artists can go to hell and burn#but like#there are many of them#and when you figure out how to spot ai and how the AI generate the images#please trust me on this one#it gets super easy to ident like 80% of most of it#the catsune miku is the HARDEST to ident so far#because it did something out of the ordinary#but otherwise the others have very easy tells#they're trying to mimic styles like watercolors and acrylic#that have blurred edges#and impressionism#that have undefined shapes#so theyr “mistakes” pass as intention#but that's besides the point#what i want here is people to just think a little but before randomly accuse people#cuz it's really getting out of had#and god i do love seeing an AI artist getting their wig yanked out of their fucking scalp for pretending to be a human#but y'all need to know when to do it#some of you don't know how to behave and it shows man
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#doing some introspection#what I want most#is out of my grasp#to compensate#I keep looking for substitutes#something to make me feel better#and inferior counterfeit to what I want#chasing the substitutes is self-destructive#it's preventing me from growth#it's actually impeding me from#making any real plans#keeping me from finding my way#if any of my behaviors change#please be mindful that I am trying to be better#trying to find my way#into to what I want most#best beloved
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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your design of me
#marcia#digital art#illustration#original art#yay its doneeee#oh garret#im sorry its always the same#its always about being a means to an end#and its doesnt matter if its a cold and calculating eye or a warm naive vision#they dont want you for you. they only want what you can do for them#and feeling needed and irreplaceable stopped feeling nice 3 lifetimes ago#all that is left are frustration and anger#dont you get it? dont you get it? the contours of what makes me me are not in the shape of your needs and wants#orion lavont#rosie lavont#garret#tcm#the clockmaster#oc#MARCIA CONTINUING HER MISSION TO SHIT COLOUR MAXIMALIST STYLE!#you know when youre trying something for the first time and youre like uh oh im having a feeling im not excellent at it from the get go#looowkey how im feeling#as you know ive been trying to incorporate more colours into my works#but i am yet to truly understand what im doing#i dont want to stumble into results with adjustment layers anymore#i wish to do things on purpose#I want to be in control! I want to make conscious choices!!!#anyway the purpose of these was to do something new and quirky#something other than faithful rendering#the most challenging part of this pic was probably all the papers. adjusting the perspective and all
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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Do you think Athena was a little like "shit, this is NOT the voice of reason I need" when she saw Buck was the one who got out? Not because she doesn't love him, but he's the one that will match her freak about getting them out the most out of the 118. Like Bobby, Hen, & Chim would be wild too, but at least more reasonable. Athena knows Buck will encourage her to shoot her gun at the doors, and she just might do it.
#911 abc#911 spoilers#911#Athena Grant#Buck#crucially some of you are saying that's his mom#which fine with you believing what you want BUT#I firmly fall in the camp that he is Not her son but rather her biggest liability#to me its more#Athena Voice: Damn I cannot believe this IS Bobby's circus and I got stuck with his most reckless monkey
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he's so crazy we can't take him anywhere 😭🤣
#credits to @velinxi bc i referenced her art for this#how atlus felt making the black mask design by far the most visually disturbing horrific thing witnessed by human eyes#what the FUCK is he wearing. what is that fucking OIL SPILL#didnt even BOTHER looking up a reference bc it was so hideous i didnt want to see it again.#“a persona user’s outfit reflects the manifestation of their image of a rebel” IS LOKI SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING ZEBRA??????????????#I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY. WE WENT FROM MARCHING BAND COSPLAY TO GOTH HOMELESS DRAG#ONLY GOOD THING ABT HIS OUTFIT IS THE SERRATED SWORD THAT COMES WITH IT#anyway i genuinely dont give a fuck if this isnt the canon design i refuse to draw his scrappy zebra print bell bottoms and flare sleeves#there is no way this bitch was the one behind all the mental shutdowns he looks like he cant even hold a sword 😭😭 stupid femboy twink😭😭#anyway i digress i loved watching his sanity rapidly deteriorate as he got the deer in headlights stare when he looked at you#anyway akechi flopped with this one 0/10 don't come back like this again#imagine dying in this fit not even the flames of hell would burn hotter than my unadultered rage 💀💀#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#lotus draws
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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these days when you close your eyes, what else do you want but to be loved in a warm and permanent way. the open soft hand, the lowered voice, the blanket around your shoulders. you want to be loved like hot chocolate, like spring flowers, like dawn. you want to go to sleep protected and wake up fully rested. you want the wounds in you to matter, you want someone who is patient around your scars.
how greedy. these days when you look around, how many little ways are you assaulted by the notion that it's wrong to need others. individualism! capitalism! bootstraps! every time you try to language it, you need to cover up your desire into a carefully-worded soundbite: of course no single person can fulfill every need and we must invest in communities and i must be responsible for my own mental health and
but the yawning in you doesn't understand logic or sound or reason. it only sees sundays, only sees what you do-not-have, only sees the look others share and that you so desire. sick with dread at it, sick at how it makes you want, how you yearn in no direction.
no matter how many people you take with you to bed, no matter how many hands touch the tattoo you share with your sibling, no matter how many times you kneel with your knees bleeding. always, the ache that never stops chewing, the desperate sick loneliness that never quite abates. it never stops humming, i need i need i need. you burn your inner child for warmth and scatter the ashes into your morning coffee.
so you shut up and you load your life like shotgun shells and you try to make yourself whole in the way that others are whole. you let your father's words spill out of your mouth. you make a quick joke rather than tear your heart open. you sing into the mic and go home with stars in your eyes. your life is beautiful and you're lucky! you have everything a person can need!
but it would be nice, is the thing. to have a love that feels like peace.
#spilled ink#warm up#this started as one thing and ended up being . destiel . what is wrong with me recently#in fairness it's because i wanted to write about how capitalism is ruining romance and#how the internet makes people feel ''greedy'' for their basic human instinct for connection -#one most of us cannot access right now bc there are virtually no third spaces -#but then i was like. wow dean should have really had a tumblr.
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Cricket Cat concept. Do you see it? Do you see my vision? I don't think they'd purr or meow, just chirp with their wings.
#creature design#bug art#my art#i've been trying to CAPTURE WHAT I WANT in multiple sketchbook pages#i liked how these turned out#there may be an alternate version with the mandibles ... but i figured most people wouldn't find it charming like i would haha#it was interesting trying to imagine how those grasshopper like legs could be used in a cat like walking pattern#i love black cats and i love black crickets....#bugs#insect#it's a fictional bug of course but i'm tagging it just in case
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i really love how intensely Mirabelle reacts to act 5 Siffrin botched friendquest.
Isabeau is mostly operating out of concern and, eventually, hurt. he already knows something’s up before Siffrin gets to him. he knows something truly awful must be wrong for Siffrin to be lashing out like they are, and as soon as he can’t handle the situation anymore, he leaves and asks (with strained cheer) for time apart to cool off.
most of Bonnie’s anger comes from being upset and afraid that Siffrin would willingly put themself in danger for no reason, when that’s exactly why they’ve been so unsettled since the eye incident. they hate that Siffrin values their own life so little, they hate that they’re the cause of any pain or loss for him, and here he is, putting himself in that situation AGAIN. on purpose. it’s loud and explosive, but it’s familiar, too, being “hated” by Bonnie for this reason.
Odile pushes, and keeps pushing, until her concern overwhelms Siffrin and they strike where they know she’s most vulnerable. she gets physical, just for a moment, grabbing his collar before controlling herself and letting go. her fury shuts down into cold detachment, and she walks away.
but Mirabelle—dear, sweet, gentle, loving Mirabelle, “the most wonderful being on earth,” with her secret “ruthless side” that largely involves lightly badmouthing people behind their backs and then apologizing—slaps them. immediately.
and then COMPLETELY RENOUNCES THEIR FRIENDSHIP.
not just “we’re not friends anymore,” but “we were never friends in the first place.”
that’s!!! pretty extreme!!!!
of course, she ALSO starts by asking what’s wrong. something must have happened for him to act like this. but as soon as Siffrin brushes her off, she jumps past that line of questioning and dives headfirst into re-evaluating everything she thought she knew about them as a a person.
if he could say something like that to her and not see anything wrong with it, then she was wrong to treat him as a friend, wrong to read camaraderie into his teasing, wrong to think they must care about them all under their aloof demeanor.
that’s how Mirabelle phrases it—“I was wrong about you”—but i think that there’s a hidden layer of I was right about you, too.
she talks about the way they tease her like she had to convince herself that he was doing it in a friendly way. she says they talk like they “know better than her” like that’s a thought she’s had for a LONG time.
“Always soooo mysterious, Siffrin, always talking as if you're better than me! As if you know me!!! But you don't, Siffrin!!! You're just as lost and useless as I am!!! So stop!!! Talking!!! As if you know me!!!!!!”
none of this comes across as a new, sudden way to view Siffrin for her. it doesn’t shock or confuse her. it makes her angry, defensive, almost like she was waiting for something like this to happen at some point. the feeling of resentment, frustration, jealousy, being patronized and condescended to—this is something she’s been actively pushing down and rejecting this entire time, but they’ve given her ample reason for it all to boil to the surface. violently.
Mirabelle’s kindness is not inherent or easy. it’s a choice she’s making. she treats Siffrin warmly because she gives him the benefit of the doubt—refusing to act based on anxiety-fueled, cynical speculation, and reassuring herself that his actions are driven by care and friendship even if she can’t quite see it.
“I was wrong about you” doesn’t mean she always and without question believed them to be a fundamentally kind, caring person from the beginning—it’s that her first, colder instincts were right, and she was wrong to convince herself otherwise.
never mind that she asked what was wrong at first. she barely gives them time to speak in their own defense, to explain what they really meant by what they said. all of her suppressed doubts and frustrations are getting aired out now, now that all the trust she’d so deliberately placed in him has been betrayed. her pain feels bigger than this singular moment, so when she hurts him back, she makes sure it extends back through the entirety of their relationship for him, too.
“You're awful. You're not my friend, not my ally, not anything. You never were.”
like the others, she goes back to the clocktower and tells Siffrin not to come back until later. but there’s a finality to the way she ends this confrontation that isn’t quite there with the others. Isabeau and Odile reach their breaking point and remove themselves from the situation, asking for space to cool off but still somewhat leaving the door open for Siffrin to tell them what’s really going on at some point. Mirabelle is the only one who tries to fully cut ties—after everything else she says, her “I don’t want to see you until tonight” reads to me somewhat as “I don’t want to see you anymore unless I have to.”
I can’t wait to never see you again.
even back at the clocktower, Mirabelle doesn’t really defend Siffrin’s place in the party when Odile suggests leaving them behind out of concern for their trustworthiness on the most important day of the journey. Isabeau and Bonnie protest out of sentimentality and faith in Siffrin’s abilities and connection to them, and Mirabelle agrees, but…
“I agree, but... B-But would he even agree to come with us, still? Maybe they won't even come back tonight...”
she doesn’t say much outside of that. maybe the stutter and hesitation here are signs of regret about how things happened, but she lacks Isabeau and Bonnie’s confidence that Siffrin even wants to come back to them in the first place. she doesn’t trust that their bond was real anymore. maybe it never was in the first place, or maybe she broke whatever was there herself.
and she’s still mad when they finally catch up to Siffrin at the King! and she makes sure Siffrin knows that—after saving them, assuring him that he no longer needs to fight, that they’re all there for him. she still cares, of course she still cares—she’s still hurt, too, but they can figure that part out once there’s less world-ending stuff going on.
she’s the first to say that they all reserve the right to still be angry at Siffrin later—and that they’ve already forgiven him.
she’s also the first to say we want to stay with you, too. it’s not just you.

she was wrong! she thought they didn’t care but they care so much, it’s overwhelming, it’s world-ending.
i think she’s gonna be wallowing in guilt post-canon the moment she remembers what she said and did TO SIFFRIN and not just what Siffrin said to her. especially now that she knows Siffrin’s exact hangups, and especially especially if she figures out what Siffrin was trying to say.
they put themself through hell out of loneliness and fear that none of the others cared about him the way he cared about them, he was going insane from repetition and exhaustion and hunger and trying to keep them all safe and together, and all they did in the midst of all that was say something kind of mean to her one time (that turned out to not even be MEANT to be mean it was supposed to be HELPFUL they just SAID IT ALL WRONG) and she SLAPPED THEM? and told him that they WEREN’T FRIENDS AT ALL??? how could she!!! she should have known better!! what they said hurt a lot but still!!!
so when they eventually manage to try to talk about it, they end up almost in, like, a guilt competition.
Mirabelle apologizing for how she reacted, that she shouldn’t have yelled or hit him, that she doesn’t want to be the kind of person who acts that way out of anger and she’s sorry that she made Siffrin expect that reaction from her, she should have known better and believed in him more and they only messed up like that because they were losing their mind in a time loop but what’s HER excuse—
and Siffrin going nononono stop I deserved it—(HUH DON’T SAY THAT NO YOU DIDN’T)—and that he should never have said such awful things to her, ever, and she was under so much pressure already with the weight of the country and everyone’s lives and futures and her religion and their whole party counting on her to do this impossible task because she’s the only one who can, all this unbearable expectation and hope crushing her, and they KNEW that but they thought they could skip to the ending as though her feelings didn’t matter at all, like helping her wasn’t as important as saving a little time—
until they’re just. in tears together, apologizing for all the horrible things they did in between complimenting each other’s strength and kindness and resilience and how much they admire each other and saying that no, everything you did was completely understandable, actually, the only one who sucks here is me. which neither of them will accept coming from the other!!
they’re so similar, in ways they couldn’t really understand, before.
warm, affectionate, perfect Mirabelle, the resolute hero, a beacon of compassion and hope for all those around her, who wears her heart on her sleeve, her fear making her courage shine all the brighter—nothing like the insignificant, forgettable Siffrin, too terrified to be known, too fragile to touch, too selfish and disgusting to bear letting go.
cool, mysterious, unflappable Siffrin, the worldly traveler, as charming and silly as they are confident and skilled, who brushed off losing an eye like it was nothing, accepting the risks of this journey with barely more than a shrug—nothing like the anxious, stagnant, undeserving Mirabelle, a fraud and a nobody crumbling under the weight of a mission too important to be entrusted to someone like her, doubting herself, doubting her friends, doubting her mentor, doubting her faith, too weak and brittle to bend and change the way the world needs her to without breaking.
not worth bothering others with their problems. they should be able to handle this alone. stay positive, stay calm. breathe in, and out.
they’ll struggle with it, still—the hiding, the minimizing—but now, they understand each other a little better. they can hold each other accountable for what they leave unsaid.
it’ll get easier, eventually. they have plenty of time.

#i!!! don’t know how to end posts!#this was supposed to be about One Quick Thought and then i just. kept going.#it’s REALLY LONG. SORRY?#some of this is a rehash of what i said in the mirabelle edition loop hangout post#i didn’t want to repeat EVERYTHING though so. no prologue discussion this time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#mypost#isat meta#mirasif qpr#it makes me wonder what other negative impressions she’s harboring about the others#surely siffrin isn’t the only one that she has twisted up somewhat in her head in ways that she has to talk herself out of#it’s a very anxiety-based behavior. making up worst-case stories in your head about yourself and other people#and having to remind yourself that those worst cases aren’t necessarily reality#the most obvious (to me) in the party would be comparing herself to Isabeau and feeling Some Type of Way about finding herself lacking#even if no one else sees it like that.#he’s strong he’s brave he’s reliable he’s heroic—he’s COMFORTABLE WITH CHANGE……#meanwhile she’s just!!! same old mirabelle!!!!!#incapable of changing in so many ways that seem so easy for everyone else! what’s wrong with her that she can’t!!!!#if it’s not clear absolutely none of this is like. critical or disparaging of mirabelle. i fucking adore her.#and her handling this the absolute Worst out of all of them (Bonnie included!) is part of that#LET HER BE MESSYYYYYY#btw for those familiar i’m picturing the guilt competition very much in Steven Vs Amethyst (steven universe) style
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dropping this and fleeing like a deer in the woods
#this is literally the most shameless thing ive ever drawn#not in like a weird way but in a like 'i just really wanted to draw this for funsies and im also deeply embarassed but its fine' way#what ever im in too deep#i started thinking abt hades' tattoos in hadestown and blacked out for two hours#gravity falls#bill cipher#im a character designer i promise i promise i pr
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