#what i want from my books is for ppl to draw fanart of my characters and tell me how much they love x or rly ship a&b

[cinnibelle]

I’m going to vent. Sit tight for an artist’s reflection on the acotar fandom!

I was going to use tumblr to strictly post art (at least on my end) and engage with the wonderful ppl here as well. Except what I’ve been seeing as of late is a lot of abuse (across platforms) and it’s very jarring. As an artist, I understand to make the most of your experience in a toxic fandom is to say nothing and do nothing that bothers those a bit **too** passionate about their opinions. I get it, I’m used to being content fodder from other fandoms. So I am not new to this.

But this fandom is *so* toxic that I immediately understood why artists choose to stay neutral or entirely avoid making art for this fandom at all. I have several art friends interested in the books but won’t touch the fandom with a ten foot pole from what they’ve seen. What I’ve personally witnessed the past few months is genuinely disgusting. The only reason I’m here after being FLAMED on twitter is because 1) I began posting BECAUSE people were so kind and encouraging and I don’t want to leave them and the possibility of befriending others 2) I was fully prepared to be dragged for the smallest offense.

I didn’t want to believe people would be downright atrocious to me for Elain, being starborn, holding the sword that reflects her (as I’ve stated when I paralleled quotes) but that’s what they were: awful. And what I got in turn was: why are you victimizing yourself this is what other artists deal with! Ok?? And!? Why is it appropriate AT ALL. Why is it fine for you to do that? I don’t care what anyone ships, why do you feel entitled to comment nastiness under someone’s art. To directly be in their mentions mocking the concept and the way it looks or how you hate the character. It brings me and others joy.. why are you being ruthless? For a fictional character??

It’s too much. And you know, this is my first fandom experience where the shipping is so extreme. I would’ve loved multi shipping as I’ve done it in other fandoms, I really don’t care for what sort of crack ships people make up (though I have my limitations, I think everyone does. “Notp”.) But you know what I DON’T DO as an adult? Ridicule artists for their work. They are providing content FOR FREE. And if they aren’t, they are gifting you with their expertise and talent. You are scaring people away.

I was afraid of joining and just stayed on the sidelines for months just enjoying arts in peace. I only gave in because I showed some friends some of my sketches and they ADORED it. And pleaded that I post. So I did, and I found many others really wanted me to continue posting. So I do. Were it not for the toxicity, I would’ve drawn all types of ships because I’m genuinely someone that does not care about the ship and if it’s canon or endgame or not, if I like the characters and the vibe- cool. Draw it. That’s the beauty of fanart.

But people are acting diabolically UNHINGED over it. And treating artists like they’re players and they’re revoking sponsorships. Fandom should not be a competition. That is exhaustive and tiring. I shouldn’t have to be fearful of the engagements on my posts. I don’t even have 500 followers yet on ANY of my platforms. And still, I am treated like filth. I need people to reflect on their behavior, recognize if they don’t like something ignore it or block it or what have you and be at peace. Stop giving into negativity and using artists as some pawn- they have feelings TOO! And you really turn them off to a character or a ship or a fandom in general with the way you act.

I have my comments off where I can keep them off because I simply don’t want 1) people arguing in my comments and 2) comments that are generally unhelpful or just shaming me for what I post. But twitter I really can’t help what happens. And tumblr too there’s some limits I can take and a filtering system I can take advantage of but even here people lack etiquette. I don’t understand where people get off acting like mean girls over things people made.

This is the most extreme, unhealthy fandom I have ever been in and I’m really not all shocked when I hear an artist quit and doesn’t want to partake. This is not a competition of who has it worse. Stop bullying artists because they don’t make content that pleases you. Just drop it. I can’t believe I am being called TOXIC for defending myself and my art. And I know who these people are, I know exactly the type of content they themselves post and it’s COMEDY to be telling ME I’m toxic for standing up for myself.

Most artists leave or go silent. That’s what you want, right? Or to antagonize them to the point they really lose patience with you. This is me losing patience: a call to being better. Be the change you seek. It’s funny I have people going at me and in their bio it says “ spread kindness not hate” Pardon??

Seriously, I would’ve liked to explore any theory and a variety of arts despite my preferences but the way people act with what I DO put out, I’m just sour. I don’t even want to expand beyond the two characters I really like because I have a headache already with the “you don’t really care about-“ takes that I’ve seen other artists get when they expand what they draw in this fandom.

It shouldn’t offend you that an artist has a preference and wants to share the things that they found intriguing or makes them happy. And if it does, cry about it in private at minimum. Stop dumping your grief onto the artists. That’s all. Maybe then you will see a resurgence of artists that do content for free (and frequently) or a return of artists who left.

[ssalballoon]

i wanna get better at art but dont know how to start ^^' whats a good way to get into studying anatomy and improving as an artist? tysm 💗 love your art soso much

more art converts 😼 yay!!

i think these asks were sent by different people but they're pretty related + a lot of my advice is the same! so i'll answer these together under the cut (it's so long oh gosh)

ok first of all i'm very flattered that people are asking me for art advice but i'm really not the most equipped person to ask TTOTT I've never been deliberately studious with my art so I feel bad offering advice when I've mostly gotten by with just drawing fanart and ocs a lot... my rate of improvement has therefore been slow, but I've still had an enjoyable learning experience so perhaps from that angle my input may help! i'll mainly refer you to external resources that have helped me

For anatomy + drawing humans:

1) I know I'm not diligent enough to sit down and study muscles, so instead I make it more enjoyable by drawing my favorite characters in a pose that targets the muscles I want to practice! (i default to drawing ppl naked because of this lol) This isn't the most efficient, but it serves as good motivation to get practice in. (honestly a lot of my general art advice has the undercurrent of becoming so obsessed with characters to drive your motivation to draw even when artblocked/ struggling with doubts!)

2) I want to refer you to Sinix's Anatomy playlist! Although Sinix focuses more on digital painting, he gives simplified anatomy breakdowns that include how muscles change shape under different movements/poses, which is crucial for natural human posing. the static anatomy diagrams from Google don't really help for that

3) What's just as important as anatomy is gestures! (especially important if you're used to drawing non-human objects I think!) Making figures look like they have flow to them will sell the "naturalness"(?) to your anatomy. If you have in person life drawing sessions accessible near you I'd recommend trying those out, or if you prefer trying it digitally there's this website!

This helps you not only get a sense of human proportions, but also natural posing! I'd limit the time taken to draw the poses from like 10 seconds to 1 minute(?) for quick gestures, and maybe 1 minute to 5mins(for now!! typically they go much longer) to study human proportions. I'd say don't spend a lot of time on them, repetition is more important!

4) I've also picked up on useful anatomy tidbits from artists online! Looking at how practiced/ professional artists stylize a body helps me focus on what the essential details are to convey a particular form (looking up "human muscles" and being hit with anatomy diagrams full of all the smallest details can be overwhelming! what do you even focus on?! so these educated simplifications really help me) Like Emilio Dekure's work! Look how simplified these figures are, and yet contain all the essential information to convey the sense of accurate form (even though it's highly exaggerated!)

(shamefully admits I've never studied from actual anatomy books so I can't recommend anything in that sense TTOTT)

For general improvement:

1) I highly recommend Sinix's Design Theory playlist and Paintover Pals! (+ his channel in general) You don't have to put them immediately into practice, but I think these are good fundamental lessons to just listen to and have them in the back of your mind to revisit another day. Plus these videos are just fun and very approachable! Design theory fundamentals are essential to creating appeal and directing a viewer's attention, and critiquing others' work/ seeing his suggestions are a good way to practice noticing areas of improvement+ solutions yourself!

2) If you prefer a more formal teaching resource, the Drawabox YouTube course covers all the basic fundamentals of drawing in short lessons. But honestly if I were starting out, this would be a little intimidating for me (and even now it still is! I haven't done all of them) But even if you don't watch them, the titles should give you an idea of the basic concepts that are valuable to pick up. I think it would be nice to keep in mind and revisit once in a while as you learn!

(One lesson I do encourage you to watch is the line control one! A confident continuous line conveys motion and flow much better compared to discontinuous frayed lines which I think is good to practice early by drawing from the wrist and shoulder)

3) As a universal piece of advice: Please please please use references! Use a reference for literally everything, observing is how we learn! You'll find that a lot of things you thought you knew what they looked like are inaccurate by memory alone. Also, trace! This is solely for your practice, tracing then freehanding has helped me grasp proportions when I was struggling! (of course don't post these online if you traced from art)

I've found that being able to compile references into easy to access boards has been very helpful in encouraging me to use references more. For PC, I think they use PureRef (free/pay what you want), and for iPad I use VizRef. VizRef is a one time purchase (which was definitely worth the $3.99 USD price imo)

4) On that note, try building up the habit to observe from media + real life and make purposeful comments about what you see! Like hey, when I bend my knee, the muscles/fat in my thighs and calves bulge outwards, I should draw that next time. Purposeful observation carries over to your overall visual library, and it's a little thing that adds up over time

5) For motivation, get into media you really enjoy, or make your own characters! The way I started art more seriously was by drawing fanart + OCs from anime that I liked ^^ For OCs it really encourages you to draw more because you're the primary creator of their art! Also you gotta see a lot of good art to make good art! Watching visually appealing media (like animation with appealing stylization/simplification) can passively help you learn just by observation.

ok wow I could go on but this is already a lot of information TTOTT my main aim for this reply is basically: don't let anything discourage you from learning to draw!! drawing is so fun and brings me a lot of joy ^^ practicing often will of course help you improve, and the way to incentivize that is by having fun with it! i hope this could help!💞

[everythingsinred]

i certainly wouldnt qualify the things i write as "literary fiction" bc. idk. im just not interested in writing literary fiction for the most part (characters are ppl to me is the short explanation) but the fact that ive been reading literary fiction almost exclusively for the past ~10 years in school has muddied my brain into feeling incredibly self-conscious abt the work i do. my mom's novelist friend writes literary fiction and my mom said she could help me with my process but my brain keeps saying "we're not in the same category" and thus my book isn't as good or wont get published or will get judged, etc.

in the end i forget how many truly atrocious works of fiction get published and turn out successful, how many authors make a career out of grammar mistakes and poor characters and bad storytelling. not everything has to be literary fiction. theres paths to be found in other avenues.

and as a result im really uninterested in reading literary fiction right now (or im trying not to). its hard bc thats all ive been reading for abt a decade so idk what else i like, but im trying to read fun, character and story oriented books, where ur meant to get invested in the tale. thats the kind of book im interested in writing, the kind of book i do write, and learning more abt that process will probably make me feel a little better abt publishing

i think in a few months i might be at the point where i can actually start considering agents and publishing and i’m so nervous and anxious and excited abt that…. just thinking abt it makes my heart beat faster

[straycalamities]

how did you come up with making Entre? What inspired you?

the onceler LOL and homestuck

okay story time w chase ahem

so actually how i got into tumblr at all is very relevant to the chain of events that led to entre existing. so before here, i was mainly on a...particular art webbed site that was basically a sinking ship circa: 2010 so i forgot how i heard about tumblr? but i joined here at first just to do naruto comm rp. like my only account was a naruto rp account for the first... i dont remember how long

eventually i got curious enough to make a personal account and started being active on that. a bunch of my friendgroup from the other site moved with me and we were just hanging out being naruto nerds. at some point i got into homestuck/learned about the askblog format. i don't remember which came first, but i DID run kibanaru and flutterdash askblogs before the lorax was a blip on my radar

i remember when i was in the homestuck fandom, i was so used to the naruto fandom where like..sure it's huge but i had established myself in a corner of it and it felt very like... it was a community! and in the homestuck fandom i didn't feel like that at all. i felt swept out to sea and it was very lonely tbh aside from the friends id manage to drag with me into it, but i always felt a certain dissatisfaction from my time in it

a friend of mine was the one to show me the lorax and the once-ler. i don't...remember how THEY found him, but they were already very into him before they even came to me about him. and they basically nagged me into watching the movie LMFAO (this was when the movie was still freshly in theaters so all we had was shitty camrips and LiveStream was a thing) so i started to draw smexy onceler and oncest fanart to mess with them and...well y'know ye olde saying about doing things as a joke.

so yeah i kinda got...genuinely interested in him. especially after i watched the 72' short and reread the book and was like wait. this movie is mid as hell actually. (the siren song of mid media) and i was like "well if /i/ wrote the movie id do this n this n this n this" and then all that added up in my head and i was like wait.

what if i did a once-ler askblog where i just change certain things to what i like? it wasnt gonna be a complete revamp/remastering because i wanted to do a proper askblog so i wanted to have his character be recognizable to any fans of the onceler. and this was wayyyyy before anyone was getting the idea to do the very creative and expansive onceler takes we have these days as a norm. so it was kinda like? being shoehorned into being Canon!Once-ler because?? that's just how you did askblogs back then

BUT!! there were a few other askblogs already around back then (end of April 2012 for ref) so i didn't wanna do what everyone else was doing (very much Established Business Once-ler/Greed-ler, Vest-ler/Oncie, or Aftermath Once-ler) so i got the idea to do the onceler but! he's still very fresh and new to his business. still basically vest-ler/oncie in personality but with big things on the horizon.

i started creating his blog the weekend before may. that's why his birthday is May 1 because that's when i officially started his blog and posted his first post and all that. literally when he was born.

so yeah this was all to try and find my niche in a community again as well as do what i'd already been doing for years now: waving my headcanons in ppls faces via my art LMFAO

it was honestly pretty new for me in a bunch of ways so it was very scary. i even tried to keep it a total secret at first. i thought people wouldn't recognize me for my art style.... (yeah idk how i thought that'd work either) and i mean??? for the most part that was true because it's not like anyone in the once-ler fandom would've known me beforehand anyways

so for the first uhhh...idk it didn't last long tho..i was a secret mod, but i got too itchy about sharing art that i didn't wanna put on his blog so i broke that pretty quick. i had a lot of personal rules i put on myself on what to do/not to do on and with his blog. and i still, to this day, follow a handful of them. so when i drew other stuff that i didn't think fit on his blog, i was like well damn i wish i could show this somehow...

tho sometimes i wish i'd tried to keep up the secret mod shtick a little longer

anywho. from there it's kinda like..he really just grew on his own. new ideas, new inspiration, new experiences shaping this or that. now i can write him without touching him for years like i just picked him up yesterday. he's that wormed in my damn brain at this point. he's basically his own person sitting in my head telling me what to do with him/what he'd say

so yeah at first? it was just me trying to write a very accurate 2012 movie onceler with a few tweaks. and then he just grew organically into what he is now. that's still his root and so that's still the default direction i try to take, but he definitely has a lot of things that make him his own person at this point too. even on his main blog.

as for why he's so stupid goofy. well. that's because i like drawing dumb expressions. the end. and in the end i'm glad his main blog remained super unserious and lighthearted because it really helped me mentally a bunch (those random spikes in activity? yeah it was for my own mental health LMFAO he helps me...a lot...because of the escapism and comedy)

bonus: as for truffula flu entre. i don't remember if something in particular inspired me to make him the ender of the world. i just felt like it'd be a fitting story for the once-ler for him to be in that spot. and from there i just approached him how i thought someone like him would react were he to find himself in that position.

my goal was always to make him as human as possible. like he's technically the villain of this story, but he's also the protagonist. yaknow. so i wanted to really interweave those two ideas interestingly into his character (and now im obsessed w it)

originally i thought of truffula flu as everyone doing their own storylines. i didn't expect at all that everyone would adopt MINE as all of THEIR canons. that was LKFJSLDKF a big surprise for me i was like wait what. i guess it seems silly now in retrospect that i didn't expect that, but i was just like "well this is entre's story. ppl can do whatever else they want tho" but suddenly entre's story was everyone's story. and it's pretty cool i can't lie

[teardew]

-

im thinking about making a patreon because i .. uh .. i cant justify drawing for myself anymore and its killing me lmao

it takes me really long to draw so any time i hav should be spent on comms... iv been trying to fight off burnout by drawing things i like inbetween commissions like that sv anatomy practice and vampire/werewolf mngling was just for me but it still ended up setting me behind schedule because i had to rest my eyes and wrist afterward. but not only that i also wanna like. make a lot more things ...

like i wanna do animal, insect, architectural, jewelry studies and fashion and character design explorations and try designing icon packs and branch out trying embroidery with mixed media and clothes making and get into making like 3d things with clay and soft sculptures. i wanna make historical fashion coloring books with việt phục and fashion zines ...

also theres a lot of stuff i dont post bc im not sure if anyone would be interested in all the design concepts and notes i had for example the homestuck dreamer outfits or the various sha hualing designs and sketches i had before getting to the thing i posted? like i hav a bunch of different sqh outfit and hair designs but theyr more clothing based and not detailed character/face art ...

idk !! it sounds like an excuse. its like, who cares just post it ! i know i shouldnt value my art by the amount of numbers i get from posting on social media and i dont mostly but its kinda unavoidable ? to me ? i know i only post fanart and ppl follow me for that and its not a bad thing ! being realistic i just dont think anybody but me would be interested in it ??

i dont know. god. i dont know what this post is about. ''i dont think anybody would be interested in the things i really wanna make'' but im thinking about making a patreon for things i really wanna make anyway because thats the only way i can justify it is if i can profit off it in some way. i dont really want to, but with my financial circumstances i dont know. i never wanted to make my livelihood off my art. i dont even consider or call myself an ''artist'' really, i just want to MAKE art

i dont know why i still cant find a steady job after 5 months applying to everything and its making me miserable. its embarassing, they say to be persistent with jobs but calling and even walking in to check on applications and watching employers awkwardly try to turn me away without just flat out telling me no even though none of them hire me is an exercise in public humiliation. how bad do you want a job? bad enough to make a fool of myself with nothing to show for it. and i want to make art for myself to cope but it takes too much time and time is money

maybe this post is about my art anxiety under capitalism. i dont know

i think im safe enough now to admit my friends gofundme i was posting about months ago about helping their friend escape their abusive household was actually my gofundme because i was worried about them finding out and preventing me from leaving or internet stalking me afterwards. i did hav a scare when i got a phone call i thought was from my brother but ended up being a police officer, whos my mother's friend ...

but anyways. me admitting this is just to give context that. i ran hundreds of miles away from financial security and everything i ever knew and im still struggling to find steady income nearly half a year later. i just dont understand what im doing wrong. is it my name? is it because im not from here? iv been working continuously ever since i could legally my resume isnt BAD. am i just stupid? should i have just tried to make peace with my lot in life?

i thought getting away from my family would let me be in a better place to create more art, thats one of the things i was so excited about but this feels just as stressful as when i was the only earner supporting my family during covid. i just want a stable job so i can make art. i dont want making art to be my Job. i dont want to be a ''starving artist'' begging for people to care about my art i just want to make art. but fuck i dont know how to sustain any of this

sorry for this mess. insurance is different out here and i havnt been able to find a psych either so its not like i can talk about this in therapy instead of venting on my art blog. all my life i wanted to make things without the fear of it all being destroyed. the main reason i havnt branched out from illustrations is because its entirety can be saved digitally even if its physically ruined. my sketchbooks were thrown away or ripped apart by my family either from carelessness or anger to hurt me but now that im finally enough safe to have them again or make something i can hold in my hands without the fear that someone will come in break it and make me clean up its corpse i cant afford it

i dont know what to do. is it worth it? is making art worth it? i mean. its worth the rent this month. and i still love drawing god this is probably bad for business because i dont want people to feel bad for commissioning me or anything but not to be dramatic why does it feel like im fucking dying

[lunariamv]

about me :>

so i just realized i cant just be some random person posting stuff without much context..... so here we go

┊⠀┊   ┊⠀┊

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚     ✧

˚✧

hi, my name is lunaria, or luna ^^

˚✧ some grill that wants to be a artist, writer, and maybe like a lowkey game dev

˚✧ i consume a lot of media: video games, anime, yt, movies, tv shows, books, fanfics, etc

˚✧ i really love the impact media and stories have on the world and people, and there's a lot i love, but also there's a lot out there that frustrates me, or feels like it's missing something, so i wanna throw my hat into the ring and make my own content for me and other girls like me <3

˚✧ atm i write fanfics to practice writing and build an audience, and i draw fanart to improve art skill, also just so i have an art portfolio,,,, cuz if i just started posting games without much of a background i feel like ppl are gonna be like,, "who tf is this???" lol

⊹˚. game dev??? ⊹˚.

i'm really interested in making my own games, specifically rpg maker ones because rpg maker/rpg horror/indie horror is my fav genre (pewdiepie's misao gameplay was my first horror game ever <3); i just love retro horror style a lot

so i'm practicing pixel art and stuff and then later i want to learn some 日本語 so i can translate the games, and also learn to make music so i can go full toby fox lol

and then maybe later on if i got rlly ambitious and had a lot of money id make fancy otome games, manga, fancy horror games, and pERSONA FOR GIRLS

i have a lot of ideas for diff series and id love to share them all <3

⊹˚. my inspirations: ⊹˚.

˚✧ game wise: currently my inspirations are charon (of those yan charon games) and dsp (ik they go by a different name now but that's what i know them as, also its funny because the name reminds me of darksydephil HAHAHA); i like the retro pixel and slight horror themes and aesthetic of their games, but i dislike the writing, so i'm gonna make my own :D

also i like the idea of an oc multiverse like dsp's so i want that too

toby fox is also technically an inspiration too; i wanna learn music so i can make my own bangers with little references and leitmotifs for fun :>>>

˚✧ writing wise: i have a lot, but my main inspirations are mostly like writing in the anime-ish games; danganronpa, persona, ace attorney, yttd, kakegurui; psychological stuff where you gotta think about them, but they also have unique quirky characters and they interact with each other in creative ways

also horror and psychological, i like writing about scary stuff and characters with their complexities, and addressing the rlly messed up parts of humanity and society bc its spooky;; sometimes with a very dark nihilistic outlook bc i love angst, or sometimes with an optimistic one

((thats kinda why i like yan stories but more in the horror sense, like look at all the crazy scary stuff this person is doing lol))

but for characters in general, i like stuff with FEMCS <33333 persona 3 with ya girl kotone shiomi, danganronpa v3 with kaede, sara in your turn to die, genshin lumine, and that one part in ace attorney where we get to play as mia fey

that's also why i lowkey like the writing in romcom/chick flick movies, cuz its just unique characters and stories and usually has a female protag or a group of girls as the mcs

LIKE MISS CONGENIALITY, MEAN GIRLS, AND LEGALLY BLONDE I LOVE THOSE MOVIES SM AND I HAVE MILLIONS MORE EXAMPLES BUT WE'D BE HERE FOREVER

but aside from heavy and horror stories, i also like simple cute straightforward stories like older barbie movies XD (or winx, mlp, bratz, monster high…); they're just really wholesome and cute where ya girl goes on a magical adventure with quirky characters and learns good lessons like trust, courage, friendship, etc…

ITS MUSHY BUT I LOVE IT AAAAA

so my main theme is being a girl and doing stuff, bc girlbossing is fun

but ya know i like making hot guy characters too wwwww

⊹˚. my art/writing style ⊹˚.

i'd say in general its like a mix of asian themes with western; its like anime but with western elements in it

i'd also sometimes like to explore other cultures too, kinda like how jjba has varying characters bc that's cool;; but if i have characters with varying nationalities its because i want to, not bc a woke person held me at gunpoint

⊹˚. aesthetics ⊹˚.

i have a lot that i like, but here's my main favorites i guess that will be in my things

˚✧ cute + edgy; melanie martinez, lucy loone, yandere, ddlc;; basically anything where you juxtapose cutesy with scary horror -- its so fun and subversive

˚✧ femcel/female sigma/doomer girl/anti-egirl; LANA DEL REY LANA DEL REY bc i'm a sad girl

˚✧ retro things; 80s and 90s but mostly early 2000s stuff; early internet, old stuff, y2k, scene/emo, mcbling -- huge emphasis on mcbling, i love the girly hedonistic aspects of it -- ayesha erotica, panty and stocking, bad girls club;; that aesthetic i love it sm LETS DO OUR NAILS AND PARTY ^^^^^^

˚✧ internet horror stuffs -- indie horror, analog horror, internet mysteries, meta horror, local58, mandela catalogue, fnaf, creepypastas, liminal spaces

˚✧ then some internet guy stuff -- vaporwave, cyberpunk, blade runner, hotline miami, madness combat, carpenter brut, etc -- i'm tomboyish in this regard xd, i fangirl over guns and edgy sigma guys fighting

⊹˚. extra stuff about me (bc who tf r u >_>) ⊹˚.

writes a character bio

˚✧ name: luna

˚✧ some randy girl that likes to make stuff

˚✧ not rlly a weeb but i like asian culture a lot, japanese, chinese, korean, vietnamese, thai, laos, filipino (yes), etc

˚✧ sigma?? i think people should be rewarded based on talent and skill, rather than their identity. if i am successful, its because my work is good, not because i am a minority. i'm also learning to draw, write, make music, etc because i want to make content without having to rely on others for assets. why ask other people if i can do it myself? B)

˚✧ i like cute things and being girly, like dressing up and having stuffed animals and cute stationary everywhere :> if i have a chance to be extra and decorate something, i will take it in a heart beat

˚✧ i'm a stocking kin, i love sweets, cake specifically, and milk tea (im addicted to boba its horrible T-T)

˚✧ i like tea, i drink 2-3 cups a day :) oolong is my fav atm

˚✧ cat >>>>

˚✧ unhealthy attraction to fictional men… currently thirsting over tohru adachi 💀💀💀 LOL my friends are like "eww wtf is wrong with you???" i must be a raccoon because i really love garbage

☸ my links ☸

all my links are on caard, but here's an organized list of the main ones; my tumblr will be my main hub for stuff i guess; the degree of activity ranges ;-;

˚☸ art stuff

✧ newgrounds (i wanna be a newgrounds girl tbh)

✧ twitter

✧ insta

✧ tiktok

˚☸ writing stuff (fanfictions)

✧ quotev

✧ wattpad

✧ archive

˚☸ oc archive

✧ deviantart (bc im too lazy to code toyhouse atm)

also apologies if i dont respond to things fast enough, im shy

˚☸ dividers by cafekitsune

[babeypigeon]

DO YOU HAVE OCS?! I’m so new please tell me about your ocs plz I want to know what they look like and what’s their extensive backstories!!!! I like hearing ppl rant about the stuff they created because I can’t so if u do have oc lore please share 🥺

yknow that one meme with the one skinny book and the other really thick book yeah thats happening in real time X)

i am a very fanart focused person LOL but that doesn't stop me from drawing self inserts i am by no means against all that

i do have ocs i just don't totally focus on drawing or expanding any story with them unless they're like supposed to fit into another media like sdv to be super specific

for example, my stardew valley oc thea is the one i tend to draw the more backstory for that i'm still working on but it involves a love triangle and childhood trauma involving her late older sister

then there's kahlani, my pokemon oc that grew from a self insert (for guzma) into an actual character who i usually never draw without guzma xp she's originally from alola, moves to unova, and then back to alola with hau (who i have made her nephew x) )

but i do have like total original ocs that i've had since like 2016, Erin and Dmitri

these two at this point in time are pretty much married and living together and have been best friends since childhood (ps erin is trans!)

out of all the ocs i have i draw all these the absolute most and that's my oc lore thank you for listening and also asking iloveyou

[troglobite]

lkfajsdflk

more thoughts abt fatness and desirability etc re: that one post i rbed and tagged

i can think of like Two characters who are actually fat who are cool interesting complex and their fatness is a neutral thing.

and they're both from the same show

laszlo and guillermo

like that's it lol

but i love them both bc they're complex characters who (as far as i know, bc again, i don't engage in fandom bc hhhhhhh) aren't FLATTENED.

yeah guillermo wears sweaters and is idealistic and goofy

but also? he kicks so much ass physically and emotionally

he is morally grey, fucked up, selfish, melodramatic, occasionally just MEAN

and ALSO a very loyal friend

he's not made to be ~comfy cozy~ or a joke just bc he's fat

it's just part of him, and it doesn't hold him back from having boyfriends and desires and BEING desirable

OR from being a truly fucked up piece of shit on occasion lol

and laszlo is The Most Desirable And Horny Man ever

and he's not portrayed as unwelcome in his advances, he's never portrayed as crude or rude or unwanted (except in very specific hilarious circumstances that have nothing to do with him being fat and horny)

he's not made out to be this lecherous freak

he's just exceedingly horny and eclectic and weird and funny and also sweet and heartfelt but utterly clueless about the weirdest things

he's a fun and complex character, and being fat is a neutral thing about him.

so when people make these two characters soft in fanart or fanfic, it's bc they're doing fandom shit, not bc they're fat (or at least, there's enough plausible deniability that it doesn't immediately read as that lol)

but az/raph/le is an irritating case to me

bc on the one hand YES MAKE CHARACTERS FATTER, IT IS A NEUTRAL THING! DO IT! GET USED TO SEEING FAT CHARACTERS AND IT NOT BEING A BIG DEAL! AND THEM STILL BEING DESIRABLE AND COOL AND LOVED!!!

and all of the other positive shit they said

on the other hand i am REALLY FUCKING SUSPICIOUS of people's motivations in making him fat in the VERY SPECIFIC WAYS they are making him fat

because you know what they ALSO do?

they make him SHORTER

and part of that is bc then together, he and cr/wl/y look like this:

oI

and ppl love that for some fucking reason

(baseless speculation that it's bc of reproducing gender roles and power dynamics in relationships that don't have them--ANYWAY)

people also draw/write him knitting. all the time.

i'm PRETTY sure he NEVER did that in the show. in reality i'm pretty sure he would be absolutely baffled by how it works bc it's a complex human thing. his only human interest outside of music and books is magic.

he doesn't even WEAR knitwear.

and yet. everyone draws him short, fat, round, and knitting, with this little placid smile on his face.

tell me that making him fat, doing those things, and calling him azi is in any way a neutral or positive thing 100% of the time.

okay that was really combative--

clearly i think a lot of ppl just don't think about it.

and some are just following fanon trends.

but either way, they are creating and reproducing something that relies upon shortness and fatness to convey "somft, smol, roumd, sweet uwu bb"

and it is INFURIATING.

I AM SHORT AND FAT

AND I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW OFTEN PEOPLE HAVE STEREOTYPED OR UNDERESTIMATED ME

they would see my anger as laughable or cute

my interests as childish

my glee and excitement as weak and youthful

my threats funny

and i'm REALLY FUCKING ANGRY that giving him the same traits i have is meant to fucking woobify him so he's smol and cute

and then there are posts that are like ooohhh!!! he's a badass! he has a PLAN! he's so cool and tough!!!!

all in the same tone of like. fucking. talking about your 9 year old wanting to dismantle the patriarchy. or a small dog managing to scare bigger dogs.

so while i'm glad that there exists a lot of fanwork that makes him fatter AND desirable

and just has his NORMAL, CANON ATTRIBUTES (goofy, endearing, a bit gullible, but also steadfast and loyal, also self-denying and occasionally clueless or reticent) that are PART of him but not meant to be EMPHASIZED by his physical attributes

like that's great

i'm REALLY fucking irritated to see him made shorter and fatter as a shorthand way of conveying uwu smol bean

he's not. any of those things.

so THAT is why he in particular being made fatter (AND SHORTER) in fanworks just grates on me

yes i have tried blocking tags but blacklist systems no longer work consistently on here :)))))))))

so i see a lot of it unwillingly and then scroll past at lightning speed

but yeah. those. are my thoughts.

[batri-jopa]

The year 2022 is almost over and I see some ppl making their summaries. I never tried to make that kind of thing for myself before and it seems like an occassion for some self-analysing exercise, so...

I don't feel like just simply summarising #my art works and skill progression throughout the year - I may do that anytime just taking a glimpse at my deviantArt gallery:

Now summarising what changed in my way of thinking and how I pushed my mental limits in 2022 is much more interesting:

So first of all I beat my lifelong fear of drawing birds and feathered wings. I made more birds pictures this year than in my whole life and really good ones too (like my #bird version ATWD). Now I actually love to draw feathered wings! With all those parallel lines it feels like writing a poem or a song with its rythm, accents and rhymes... And since now I can draw roosters I'm almost not sure what so cool about dragons was any more?😆

Then I beat my fear of drawing faces of actual people / actors, especially those that I like... I learned that when I care deeply if a person looks similar and neat it is not the thing to be afraid of - on the contrary, it's the biggest motivation possible! And actually the only way I can make progress in drawing faces properly...

Meanwhile I accepted that I've been really colours-starved drawing mainly grey pencil sketches for years - and so in 2022 I gone totally wild with the rainbow in and out!🌈

I also decided to start sharing my pictures "for adults only" (on my other blog: @co-ma-piernik ). Thinking that someone might see those pieces gives me more motivation to work harder on human body proportions than when I was just doing it for myself

I finally shed the "I don't do fanarts because I am better than that having my own OCs" way of thinking. In the last 9 months I made 22 quality fanarts of the movie And Then We Danced / და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ solely, what's more to say? (Only that I feel kind of bad for not working on my OCs in 2022 as I initially planned... But they waited for my attention for 12 years already and it only added to their characters's developement - so I think waiting just a little more will not do them harm either. Especially when I use this time to explore other characters from movies and books and gain my inspirations... I guess further developement of my OCs is inevitable)

Any progress in my real life? I accepted who I am, what brings me pleasure and satisfaction, stopped judging myself with other ppl's social expectations and instead allowed myself to feel comfortable and happy with my life and my passion. It may not seem a lot but it does make a HUGE change: whether you think of yourself as a "nobody wants me" lonely loser - or "aware of my aromantic-asexuality" single person. So I finally gave up to force myself into "finding a boyfriend at last" (especially as I always prefered to speak with girls honestly) and now I'm willing to explore friendship and heading up to all the possible other human interactions that I can get myself involved with instead💚💜💛💙 I cut out with constantly trying (and failing) to follow recipes for heteronormative "happy family" lifestyle and decided to find and explore my own way through. Might not be as easy as following that wide path everybody else is walking but... I'm still young and strong and hopeful. Walking with my eyes and my mind open!👍

[eyerealm]

Hiii^_^ what would you say are your main artistic influences/inspirations ?

VERY obvious answer but jojo and splatoon. In general. I am so happy i got into jojo because i never expected to but its like an infinite source of inspiration to me and my biggest inspiration now. Arakis art is absolutely incredible its like everything i love. the patterns and fashion, the variety in color palettes, i also LOVE group pictures, the poses, treating characters as models, the soul in each piece, the ornamentation(!) The unconventional character designs , the ATTRIBUTES (i am so fascinated by character attributes. I have always tried to think what attributes my characters could have.) High accuracy in items, which really makes you feel like theyre real...i really could go on. I really cant express it enough. I can never get enough of it. I havent even seen all parts yet and each time i do i literally cant wait to look at every picture that exists of it. It all feels like. So REAL. its like the most real art ever idk how to even explain it better. And I feel like with jojo everythings possible and i absolutely love it... and splatoon is also very inspiring to me. Ive started really enjoying sport-esque fashion because of it. it influenced me a lot especially in how i use color, it made me very confident in the way i choose them, even if it sometimes feels random. I love using vivid colors. Also i absolutely love splatoon stage designs. Story modes especially. But the amount of details in them, graffiti and stickers makes them feel so lived in. I really love street art and splatoon made me appreciate it more. I love designs of the gear and weapons, the accuracy when theyre drawn in official art too ...i think i started wanting to draw more accurate cuz of it. i just love it so much i would not be where i am without it. I own the splatoon 2 art book and i cant wait untill the third parts one comes out ... other than that, lately ive been very inspired by like early 2010s jojo fanart from pixiv lol. Ive been lookin at a lot of them reposted on tumblr mass reblogging and saving to my phone even despite me having literally no storage space cuz i just cant resist. i really like them. I would love to try to emulate the feeling of these. Its not very specific sorry but i think some ppl would understand. anyways thanks for the ask :)

[hyperfixiation-of-the-week]

And what can we do with queerbaiting? Just nothing?

Uhhhhh

I dunno ??? Im not 100% sure what this is asking lol

I guess i would say theres a few things we can do like

1) consume similar content that IS queer or has pro-queer tendencies. The first thing that comes to my mind is the Umbrella Academy. It has queer characters and its a superhero genre show involving time travel. So it has similar themes as the Loki show.

2) make our OWN queer content. Write an original story or draw some original art.

3) queer the fuck out of the fanbase. Write your fics, draw your fanart, do whatever the fuck you want and ignore canon. I've always bought into the idea that all our fanon IS canon anyways, due to the fact that there are infinite marvel universes inside the comics.

4) read the marvel comics instead!! They're WAAAYYY better about queer representation! Loki has been openly queer in the comics for a long time! And hes far from being the only character to idenfity this way!

5) cast dark curses on the disney corporation

6) read a different comic book! Check out some DC comics or Dark Horse! Find some independant queer creators and support them! I'm sure theres gotta be a rec list floating around tumblr somewhere that lists indie queer comics you can support!

7) take after me and complain on the internet about it

8) Vote for pro-queer politicians lol, its never a bad time to bring up the importance of voting

9) ship your queerbaity ship anyways. Destiel was queerbaited for 15 yrs and that doesnt stop ppl from making content for it

10) pIRATE ALL DISNEY CONTENT

[unproduciblesmackdown]

prompts

April 26th: Talk about special interests. Do you have special interests? If not do you wish you did? What do your special interests mean to you? What are your current special interests? What are your past special interests? idk like i know i sure have & have had Interests, some more of interest than others, and it's also like, oh yeah i guess the ways i held that interest / explored it pretty intently / extensively / at length didn't always seem to be the way other people always felt about things even if we shared the interest, but yknow, at the same time it doesn't necessarily seem as extensive or major as some of the aspects of defining a Special Interest(tm) can be, i haven't been too pressed about it, but of course it's like, i have my Things lol, i.e. yeah this thing is kind of My Thing....and then i can look back on Things like. well idk when i was really little and you're just gonna like Cool Stuff, i did have the thing of like, i like dinosaurs and did sorta casually collect dinosaur stuff, easy enough b/c they make that stuff for kids, memorized a bunch of dinosaur Names so that just being asked to recite a bunch was something i was known to be able to do, a big fan of a couple semi educational computer games we had, shoutout to 3d dinosaur adventure and this magic school bus dinosaur (and ocean) game, had pajamas ft dinosaurs, rip to when i had a sick metal lunchbox with dinosaurs on it and it just broke on like week 1 of first grade or whatever and i just had to go back to default lunchboxes. well and then but anyways but from then on it was like, well, i guess it's media time......read a shit ton all the time, was into some tv series / movies, played some pc / video games, there was stuff i'd be glad to revisit over and over, and yknow, as this went on it'd be like, well now when there's A Relatable Enough Character in something i also like just in general, that's a powerful combo, though sometimes it's like, yeah i like this thing enough even in the absence of any particular [and i extra go hard about this character] element, that's not Not at play as it's like "well and i guess i will think about this quant every day for years now lmfao," and i can sure always talk about stuff At Length too, which sure is not something other people are generally interested in, but if/when they are, it's like okay great, this is a great connection point then, b/c otherwise it's like, i generally don't know what to say about myself, didn't get much practice, did pick up a sense of like, well stuff is Wrong about myself and my life so i shouldn't share it and also i'm not picking up friends so it was generally accurate that no one was exactly interested lmao. small talk is really more of a barrier / test you can just potentially fail, yet anything more personal is Oversharing, but hey i would earnestly love to talk at length about This Thing, so great when other people are into that at all lol and then if we vibe it's like, obviously that's the sort of functional "small talk" route here lol to being able to be more familiar w/each other and talk more generally, even if yknow, wuh oh, i'm kind of cagey outside those Interests i will talk about in ways that's probably "too much" by most ppl's standards, worst of both worlds when it comes to forming relationships but oh well, it is what it is and i sure don't consider it a bad thing i have plenty to say about things i Want to talk about, and it sure doesn't impede on anyone else if i'm Not Talking about other shit.

also then it's like, "idk what it is when you just determinedly Pursue something that's maybe still not the hugest deal, but i don't really feel very pressed re: figuring it out" like, does it count like how i mentioned today i'd read bird guides for fun as a kid, and watch this bird documentary and be like "hey. check out this scene in this bird documentary with this bird mimicry" to friends i now realize were probably mostly bemused by this, and really liked birds just generally (still true), and thus have like, maybe more Bird Knowledge than the average random person but also am hardly some self taught ornithological expert. or how i'm big into linguistics and etymology and, in theory, language learning, always really latching on to the little i was taught in school, also perusing some Language Guides available, and like, not really self teaching a bit re: learning some of a couple languages, just learning via teaching resources outside of [directly through any academic institution], never took any language classes, sure have no fluency in fuckall.........how about that i just decided as a kid like "hm i want to be able to draw" b/c i felt that way (and yknow, still do in a way lol) about pretty much anything, but i just also liked doodling and took some art classes and it was always this casual thing and now i use this to make fanart for the Media Interests lol, and although this is all digital drawing and drawing was always my primary thing it's like, well okay also yeah there was like, some painting / pastels / sculpting other Visual Arts stuff, and then, like, i sure enjoyed dance classes and the Performing Arts aspect of that, theatre gay adjacent b/w that and choir lol, have regular dreams about being part of impromptu dance performances, including just last night, rip to the special thwarting of "oh no i'm going around trying to get food before the show, getting stuck in traffic or lost in stores, and i've missed my whole first appearance" lol. anxiety dreams never end........and idk, i've had a love for math stuff, physics stuff, space stuff, even felt that [!] for the little i was able to get into circuitry and coding, but yknow. learning that shit is kind of involved and i only had so much experience re: taking classes, also, unfortunately, i always hated school lmao, so it's just kind of there where i'm like oh i get Into this shit in the ways that other people who are definitely Into it feel about it lmao. but yeah, idk, i do have like. well here's this sort of stuff i think about Every Day, this sort of mental home base sometimes, that i don't get tired of and reexplore / reexperience pretty intensively, but at the same time like, sometimes i can just sort of have something be that Interest for a lot more of a temporary duration, and things that were that main shit is like, well Probably when i like it that much once i like it down the line even if i haven't been that focused on it in the meantime, more just latent, but then it's like, well, but probably could and would still talk So Much about it still even if it's not like, oh yeah i'm Into This(tm) right Now lol..........idk! but i sure get really into shit and like, if anyone else is interested in me talking at length / drawing about it, that's sure probably the most successful grounds for Connection lmao cuz yknow. even people who maybe share that interest aren't guaranteed to see that and go "yeah this is someone i'm interested in actually talking to though" like yeah here's your preview of my personality i guess lol

April 27th: What is your favourite form of media? For example, do you enjoy books? What format do you prefer for books (physical, e-book, audiobook)? Did you love reading as a kid but find it challenging as you got older? How about movies, tv, or video games? Do you have a favourite series? yeah i read all the time as a kid, on the bus, if i finished shit early at school, on the bus again, also at home plenty, not so much when i was in college when it's like oh i can just do kinda whatever now (also as people point out it's like. well gotta do all this reading for classes now so) and then it was like, i'll get into other Media i can freely experience at any time, and also hang out with people Some, which i can also just do whenever now, as opposed to at any point before this......still like reading but it can sure kind of be a Whole Thing, like i either can't focus and it's like well time to read like, a paragraph or page a day, or else i'm focusing Too Much really like, if i'm at all trying to see how something ends i might burn through it in a few days (still a fairly slow reader) which is like, do i want to spend multiple days on this One Thing, even if it takes me like, multiple times the runtime to watch a movie or something, that's still probably getting done in 1 day. plus that yeah, mostly reading new shit via laptop, which is kind of a pain as opposed to physical books or like, e readers in theory, i've never actually used one. the only time i used an audiobook was a few times as a kid to read along with longer books to sort of help with that momentum, such a hot minute ago that this was via Tape Cassette.....i do listen to podcasts though, great for like, doing Something Else at the same time, which i don't know that i could split up that focus and guaranteed successfully absorb a book, Maybe So but select podcasts are my Extensive Audio of choice. never really watched that much tv, there were some stuff me and my siblings might watch as it aired, but not really Narrative Series lol, never seen shit, haven't even really watched That many movies either, still don't Really even though it's like yeah w/e in Theory i enjoy these mediums it's like oh my godddd it's a whole thing to focus on one and then plus what if i don't like it but i've had to put in all that time to know i didn't like it lmao.......i can enjoy keeping up with a tv series like, oh boy once a week a half hour to hour installment, that's a great format truly, but i'm rarely getting that experience lmao like. with billions you could stand 2 weeks between episodes b/c whew but it's v Rare like oh thank god, a series with that weekly release........but otherwise it's like ugh do i wanna have alllll this material to watch, do i wanna go through the whole process of figuring out what movie i feel like giving a try........and that i like Revisiting shit i already like pretty endlessly so it's like, i might just do that. so it's like, audio wise i'll put on podcasts, if i feel like watching something i Might be bothered to try out a movie or smthing b/c yknow, ultimately more doable to consume something that's just a few hours, all that when i'm Thinking About a tv series every day for years lmfao, shoutout to billions which sure gets to be my fave b/c tf else am i keeping up with, literally nothing else, even if i haven't gotten around to actually watching all of it yet / haven't simply sat straight through even the episodes i have watched, i Could do it but it's like god formidable when it's sure more than a movie's worth of content and plenty of "i don't care about this and/or hate this" to make me put my head through the wall lmfao thank you billions........also sometimes i remember like "oh yeah, i guess in theory i enjoy video games as well" but i didn't have That much experience w/them and sure don't now, so that's like well irrelevant ig. media

[oyabun-draws]

yellow, aqua and pink for the ask game! ❤️

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated (my response got long im sorry)

(can i say myself...fssjfsfjfs) um i am not sure if these artists are underappreciated or not but i will name some of my favorite artists from various fandoms pls give em a look i love them:

raven cycle: i HAVE to give a shoutout to @f0x-meets-w0lf they literally are the reason kavinsky is my favorite character in the series, and i am a big dream pack person, the dream thieves IS my favorite book in the series and this artist in my eyes is the BACKBONE of the dream pack fandom, we would have NOTHING without them i LOVE fox-meets-wolf and I WILL be purchasing every print of theirs mark my words. their art is perfect honestly i have no words. my proof is right here if u disagree look at that and then come talk to me anyways i could make a whole post on fanart of kavinsky also i found out just NOW that this queen is following me on one of my instas and like am i hallucinating i need confirmation bc they are literally one of my fav artists on planet earth anyways (i think u can tell i have adhd by how i respond to asks) also this post and these posts are certified iconic and i will be purchasing if they ever do prints

carry on: @i-am-weis literally gave me my rights their art of simon and baz is out of this world, they haven’t posted carry on stuff since back in the day but i am a carry on elder and I Remember. they’re talented incredible show-stopping never been done before and so so close to how i picture simon and baz. on that note @yofriesenburg ALSO has incredibly close to how i imagine them this post is EVERYTHING to me,  also this post STUN N I NG, and this artist’s stuff is fantastic, we love this one, and this one, @mara-miranda of course especially this one, this lovely post, this fantastic post, this post omg the ARTISTRY, this lovely post, lest not forget ms @vkelleyart of COURSE but specifically this one is my favorite of hers, and last but not least, THIS is my ALL TIME favorite carry on fanart and fun fact: this is the very first post i ever reblogged on this tumblr, please feast your eyes on this witchcraft and wizardry it is literally everything.

(also i have been working on this post for literally four hours trying to find all these links so if my enthusiasm is declining it is because i am pooped and not because i like any of these artists less than others. i love them ALL, all of these i have saved to my phone so i can Look at them)

aftg: @ziegenkind094 literally period all of their posts are excellent, @lnmei i- to have as much talent as lnmei.. one can only dream these  are some favs of mine  and @microolli esp this one, and this post is everything the bandages are so well done ppl never draw enough scars, @lazyleezard and @actuallyzeropercent are EXACTLY how i picture andrew and neil EXACTly their fem!andrew and neil are p e r f ec t, also this post, these posts, and lastly these posts are perfect, neil is perfect, the vibes are perfect, true artistry

yoi: everything. 

i am so tired im s o sorry u definitely did not ask i just hyperfocused and said I Will create a masterlist Right Now and spent 6 hours omg. anyways those are some of my fav artists and drawings thank u if anyone wants to know my fav non-fanartists let me know and i will make another masterlist. 

aqua: do you thrift?

yes! actually about 90% of my clothes are thrifted, I’m poor (my whole family is poor) so I have thrifted or received hand-me-downs for my whole life :) and I am not ashamed of admitting that I’m poor either, my family is very hardworking (even if you aren’t u are still valid, poor people are not at fault of the situations we are in.) I just live in the U.S. and capitalism is a desease. 

pink: what’s your natural hair color?

idk what is up, but my natural hair color has changed throughout my life, when i was born it was dark brown and then lightened to medium brown. then in late elementary to early middle school it changed to like golden brown/dirty blond whatever tf and then later in high school it became medium brown again and then now it is a grey-ish (?) mousy brown i think its called. but my hair is bleached blond almost all the time bc i like the way it contrasts with my dark bushy brows :)

okay thank u for the asks so much idk why this turned into a literal essay in length but like i love getting asks so much bc i get them quite sparingly and i like to ramble. i type almost exactly how i think/talk minus the stuttering #just speech impediment things

anyways thank u for the asks!! <3 <3 i love you

color asks

[raeoffrecord]

Why I make DanCre fan art

After posting the recent Dante & Vergil fighting drawing (on Twitter) I expected the time is coming. Yes, to explain why I keep drawing Credo but don't often draw Vergil.

I rarely make art purely for fan service or gaining public attraction despite being a "fan" artist. Vergil is a well-made character. I appreciate that CAPCOM did a good job of making DMC5. And I thank my fans who like my art. I know ppl want to see me draw Vergil. So I did, but... that is just it. There is a bit long story between my all thoughts and contradiction to DMC series, that I am not a big loyal fan to 100% of it. DMC is still the biggest inspiration to me that I won't deny, which is why I still create its fan art. But the inspiration itself, unfortunately, is the theme that CAPCOM doesn't bother to polish or focus on. I guess I owe everyone who pays attention to my DMC works and waits for me to dive into D/V fandom an explanation. It's hard to tell in a foreign language and I used to avoid doing so because it's a torment to deal with people who want to force their ideas. Some people might not be too happy about me drawing Vergil if they know I'm not very interested in the relationships between him and Dante, or Sparda. I never pay much attention to brothers, families drama, or "he is the only one who understands me the best" relationship. I'm more a fan of standing in a third person perspective and seeing a world, if an entity possesses insanely power like Dante who can blur the barrier of known and unknown, while human struggling and trying to against or accept it. Nero was like a first start for me to think about it, but then I found Credo is the perfect choice for me. He stands in the perfect position to confront the contradiction of his ideal and cruel reality, and then denied it enough to make attempts transforming himself into something else, just for catching up with an unreachable goal. Such a theme never ends well in a moral story but I felt very touched to it. Maybe this is just more like what I feel about life, and I want to keep it on by my works. You can say Credo is actually a character inspired by Vergil.  (It should be obvious, the same actor and the same movements from Nelo Angelo in the boss fight) But they are still fundamentally different. There is nothing convenient for Credo to approach Dante. Not even hinted a bit by canon. He has more limits and less knowledge of what he is capable to reach. He lives in an environment where everyone treats the unknown like a god. The only thing he gets is determination. What he searches for is not a relationship, but more like to fulfill his own vision even though he is deemed to fail the trials. And then, well, all possibilities are only in my head. I'm also a comic artist and I'm supposed to be good at imagining things. To think if he didn't die, to think if he is reaching the giving up point but the desire of pursuing after his own vision never fades away. I am only motivated to create works which I'm passionate about, so for almost a decade I only draw Dante/Credo, even though I know it's awkward to see it on your dashboard if you can't get why it exists. And I love this theme enough that I wish one day to make my own original stories inspired by it. And Yes everyone can see what the core of DMC is, or is now. Every DMC fangirl I know in Taiwan or any other countries for the past decade has been making Vergil/Dante/Nero fan arts or fics. There are already doujins that my friends made about them on my book shelve. Because there is no other choice if I want to read something from the DMC fandom. I doubt if not being a fan to its, well, supposedly, "core", will equal me as not a fan or qualified to draw DMC fanart, to draw Dante. I saw the potential CAPCOM once made in DMC4 despite it turns out neither being well accepted nor executed, I appreciate the game dev at least tried once to build the Order of Sword, to create a character like Credo, who inspired me so much that still no other works can surpass. Sorry about being such a difficult and stubborn person on this topic and the disappointment you might feel by now. I appreciate Vergil makes his appearance in DMC5 because he is no doubt a well-made character. I enjoy the gameplay and character charisma. The Sparda family dramas are enjoyable, but just not the topic I'm going to linger about.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Lestat, Louis is a sad sack of a man and doesn’t really seem to be worth loving. Ok so he’s “beautiful” that’s not enough to make a relationship last. Why is Louis worth loving?

//ooc: This is another fairly old ask, from November, 2017. I think anon was trying to rile Lestat by calling Louis “a sad sack of a man and doesn’t really seem to be worth loving.” Limiting him to just being “beautiful.” And while it is fun to rile Lestat and see how he reacts, idk… I was kind of taken aback by this and I had too many thoughts about it to have Lestat respond flippantly, which he would have. I think Lestat either gets defensive about loving Louis, or just dismisses these kinds of comments, one less person for him to compete with for Louis’ attention, lol.

TL;DR: I think when ppl ask that, part of where they may be coming from is that THEY feel like a “sad sack” who’s maybe not worth being loved, especially by the main character in a series, a flashy glittery murder machine. They worry that even if they’re loved for being “beautiful” that that really isn’t enough for a relationship, and that’s absolutely true, if we’re defining beauty as superficial characteristics. The beauty of Louis, to me, is in his character, and the emotions of the scene. 

I’ve written a lot about what draws me, as a reader, to love Louis, probably the best stuff is in my #we appreciate and love louis in this house tag. But I’ll try not to go overboard and answer you here, anyway!

I think the deal with describing Louis as *~SO beautiful~* is partly that, hey, it’s fun to do, like having a favorite flower, and AR takes the opportunity to remind us of it, and put the camera on him in a scene, so we know he’s present. It also serves a purpose, we usually get at least a scrap of context about him and/or the scene:

“I glared at him, at the sharp graceful angles of his imperturbable face, […] his wide-set eyes, with their fine rich black lashes. How perfect the tender indentation of his upper lip.” -Lestat, The Tale of the Body Thief

^Let’s take this line and unpack it a little:

Lestat glares at Louis. –> Lestat is clearly pissed.

Louis’ imperturbable face –> Louis is not scared of Lestat being pissed.

And then Lestat lavishes this extra description on him, appreciatively. Attention on the lip area, now we’re picturing him pointedly staring there, which might precede a kiss, so we can infer that Lestat desperately wants to kiss him, probably. What I get from all that is the exquisite tension of Lestat wanting someone he can’t have, someone he treasures and wants even MORE bc of the difficulty. 

It’s the tension of Lestat and other characters pining for Louis that AR wrings every drop out for us, she’s showing us how helpless these other characters are that they can only try to capture Louis with descriptions since he defies being owned by anyone. Unrequited love is a powerful thing.

Bringing these back, in case anyone else missed them and want to indulge in some Louis praise/discussion:

The first anon in this series: Honestly I can’t believe how gay everyone was for Louis ask and my response

“Louis rant” anon here.

A recent Louis canon hair fanart and commentary

Reply to an anon re: “fanon has cast Louis as a beautiful, frail flower destined and carried by Lestat’s will”

Anon grateful for “that whole “gay for Louis” ask reminded me of how much I love Louis” and my invitation to anyone to send rants about loving Louis (or any VC character!)

Also somewhat relevant: thoughts on Louis having a living lineage.

So, re: Anon might be identifying with Louis: 

We can find ourselves slipping into the characters we love and identify with. Some ppl find Lestat relatable in his lust for life, self-centeredness, refusal to quit, constantly screwing up and berating himself in the narrative (but rarely being able to outright apologize to those he hurts)… a flawed character for sure but an inspiring one.

I think some ppl who relate to Louis and feel less flashy, less glamorous, there’s smtg very appealing about how such a character could be so idolized by the more flashy and glamorous one. What could such a *rockstar* like Lestat find attractive in Louis?? You said yourself Louis is a sad sack. And yes, beauty is not enough to keep a relationship going. But, as I mentioned above, Louis’ beauty is often described in a context that charges it with the emotions of the scene. At least to my reading, there’s more conveyed than just eye color.

Still, why wouldn’t Lestat demand someone who was more like himself?

But here’s the thing I think a lot of ppl miss when they’ve only seen movie!IWTV, or only read a few of the books. 

^Louis & Lestat by @garama​

I personally believe that Lestat sees in Louis a similarly wounded soul with a lust for life. At their core, neither really want to die. Louis kept getting into fights with ppl bc he couldn’t kill himself as a mortal. Lestat has stubbornly refused to die his entire life and has had plenty of reason to want death. They’ve both almost killed themselves and been brought back. There’s a similar torment in them dealing with their natures.

As an anon put it so eloquently: “I think ppl forget that Louis is just as passionate and vengeful as Lestat, it’s just that he isn’t as vocal or showy about it. He’s more intimate and intense.”

The way they communicate/express themselves, and the way they practice self-care is vastly different. Lestat builds up his beautiful shell with retail therapy, redecorating and refurbishing his dwellings, and attending all kinds of shows and making elaborate plans with his kills, just spoiling himself silly. Always down for indulging his senses. He’s chasing new experiences, learning the new slang, trying to keep himself in the latest fashions. Novelty.

Louis prefers his nights at home, low-drama, in his own creature comforts, with his books and poetry to escape into. We don’t know much of what he’s read but he seems to want to spend eternity reading. What is reading? Even if it’s nonfiction, it’s learning, being told a story, being more informed. It’s novelty, too. Escapism through the imagination.

And their personalities seem to complement each other. Lestat’s lust for adventure spices up Louis’ otherwise too-calm existence. Louis’ calm and dignified manner brings Lestat back down to earth when he gets too untethered. Their bickering is bc they care for each other, can see beneath each other’s disguises. Louis sees the frightened boy inside the frustration that makes Lestat lash out and attack first. Lestat sees the potential in Louis of someone who, if he could get over his inhibitions, could experience so much more in his life.

When AR was kind of RPing as Lestat in her #Fan Questions for Lestat series, she was asked smtg similar:

“…but if I did have to choose, the companion would be Louis. My longest most enduring friendship and love affair in this world was with Louis. And though his limitations can be maddening, they can also be as inspiring to me as his virtues… the best choices we make are not always the wise choices. Sometimes they are intensely emotional choices. And I’ve always had a deep Romantic respect for emotion. My love for Louis transcends wisdom. And I may need the pain as much as the consolation that an eternal relationship with Louis would involve.“

^This is one of those moments I talk about where I feel like she recaptures the old magic, taps into the vein (pun intended) that got us all addicted to this series in the first place. Why I can’t just discard the crackier later books. She’s not all that specific here, but it’s believable. At least, to me. Lestat admits that Louis’ limitations (and this can be so many things, things Lestat disagrees with him about as well as things Louis refuses to do) can be maddening, and inspiring. 

And he admits that his love for Louis transcends wisdom. That may be a cop-out answer, but I’ve felt that kind of love in my life. Inexplicably bound to someone, despite the math of the personalities not seeming to mesh. 

Love works in mysterious ways. Even for beautiful sad sacks and the arrogant bastards who love them

[nctsukashii-archive-blog]

Unpopular character you love? (not hoshi)

The saltiest cracker you know is me, Bepsi!23. Unpopular character you love?

Ah SHOOT. YOU TOOK MY EASY ANSWER. JERK ! Meanie !!! U big pizza slice !

aababbaa but! I do have one I really wanna talk about!Under the cut you see, for I ramble a lot.

- Hifumi !

I love him man.There’s so much about his character that’s so relatable and lovable to me. I think that’s why DR1′s amazing theme of “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” really comes on in with him. On the outside he looks like as one would expect of a gross anime fan. Fat, not attractive, pretty gonk-y, speaks all fuckin over the top like an anime, so on and so forth. But it’s when you learn about him that really makes him super fucking amazing.His past is like, something that I can relate to myself in a bit. As someone that ‘became a bully to stop the bullying’ and stopped when he could like… find enjoyment and fun in an anime character and put all of his effort into that instead. He’s drawing because he shows appreciation for her, and that’s super sweet. And quick tangent before I continue, but “he only makes hentai” is a bad argument. Like, he does and I ain’t gunna vouch that he doesn’t but lots of people do. What’s wrong with it? Like, is it a crime to make that stuff??? Clearly not if Doujin creators are a big deal in Japan, able to have hour long lines at their stands at conventions, with people willing to purchase their merch with devoted fans. Like, ppl are so quick to demonize sexuality it’s CRAZY.

Anyways, back on topic. He’s got a great personality. He’s like, a bit of a stuck up jackass when ya first see him, but it’s the later interactions that just really sell it for me. He’s got some of the FUNNIEST lines in my opinion, between saying that his punches towards Ishida will go faster b/c he has no arm hair so there’ll be less wind resistance, or his numerous anime and videogame quips (”rebooting my devices; please stand by”, “You haven’t reached that point in our friendship! You don’t have enough friendship points to be asking those questions!”, “If he tries that (in context it’s mondo going to attack monokuma) Oowada Mondo-dono’s health will go to zero!”, “the whole anime plotline for the first episode outside the trash room”, for a few) are all just absolutely stellar to me. He’s unabashedly awkward because he’s just so confident in himself and what he loves, and it makes me happy to see him so enthusiastic!

Speakin of that, let’s go more into it!!He’s so passionate about himself, and just has a gay ol time doing everything. It’s absolutely amazing honestly. His speaking is just so energetic! He’s so happy to do what he does as an artist and I absolutely love it! It’s almost inspirational, that he can be so unabashedly confident and happy about his skill, and it shows just how much love he puts into his art. And real talk here, but Hifumi isn’t even that much of an asshole. Like, people make him out to be some kinda monster, when that’s absolutely not the case. “he killed Ishimaru though!” yeah, because Celes lied and said that Ishimaru sexually assaulted her, took what would be at that point Hifumi’s close friend, and said Ishimaru planned to kill him and probably everyone else. Like, murder is still wrong, but he didn’t do it because “oh celes asked me to”. He did it for his sense of justice- in that he hated to see someone like Celes be hurt. : / don’t diss my dude for tryin to protect a friend yo. His spats with people are less mean spirited and just more fun and lightheared dickery. Like, when you crack shit with your friends. He picks fights, but it’s never out of malicious intent. It’s like having a good time or trying to lighten the atmosphere, albeit in his own goofy anime way.Even in Chapter 2, the spat he has with Fukawa in the library over literature and doujin isn’t as aggressive as it prolly should be. He takes most insults with stride (unless they insult the 2-D works of course!!) and it feels a lot more like a cliche anime rivalry (esp. when he says shit like “you are my ARCH NEMESIS, I can’t make you tea!” when Fukawa asks why he only made some for Celes). At least, that’s what Yamada thinks.

He’s confident, which a lot of people always like to assume makes someone a dick or feature it as a negative trait rather than a positive one, when it can go both ways. Hifumi being able to have such high standards that he openly admits to not reading other people’s works because he can just write a story he wants to see himself can be considered narcissistic, but having the confidence to sell his works starting from high school (prolly when they were more pg and ‘fade to black’) and get over 10,000 copies sold is something to be proud of and I’m glad that he is! It’s a stigma that artists have to hate themselves, or suffer for their work, but I disagree. When an artist is healthiest and happiest in their mind, that’s when they make the best work. Vincent Van Gogh made the Starry Night when he was in a hospital getting better for his depression and mental relapses after all. Hifumi’s not fit, and he definitely has some areas where people would consider him unhealthy such as his eating habits and whatnot, but he also focuses on being happy and being himself as a first priority. He eats because he enjoys it, and remembers to have all his meals. He does what he likes without actively hurting others, because he just enjoys doing it, and he loves to promote his favorite anime character. He’s a dorky geek that says shit like “swag” and fuckin says “i forget not everyone is as savvy as I am” which is just so fucking amazing to me it’s both hilarious and fun.

Also haha, the fact that he’s making Doujin from a character who’s overweight is kinda nice to me, because she’s not a “conventionally attractive” anime girl with big titties and a small stomach; she’s chubby and different, and I think that’s nice to show what Hifumi’s interests are as well as what anime really means to him. It’s not just about getting his rocks off, it’s about the fun and enjoyment and the feelings that anime can give you and what your mind can do. It’s why he had a dream about going on a date with a magical girl, the kinds of characters who inspire friendship and happiness, for fucks sake. When he was lonely and had no friends and became a bully to counteract the way people treated him, he found something that would be there for him, and he wanted to support it ever since. Which is a powerful and very overall positive message to give people.

But he has great messages too. Messages about being able to be yourself and have fun, no matter how “dorky” or “lame” your interest might be to others. He encourages people to have fun in their own ways, even if he wants to promote Princess Piggles, with lines such as “what might be boring to me might be another persons moespiration! With that in mind, look for your own!” and “In a sense, a geek is like an expert. That’s right, a total expert! A successful musician must necessarily be a music geek, a good movie director is a movie geek. You see? It’s those experts, those geeks who open up the world to others!”. It’s positive and nice, and it forms who he is as a person.

No one’s perfect, and neither is he, but he’s pretty damn good. And I’ll defend him with every fiber of my being for just how real he feels.

I personally believe it’s because this fandom has a definite bias against male characters that aren’t distinctly attractive, as you can see Hoshi gets ignored quite a lot compared to all of the other males (even being the ONLY male left out of the halloween drawing!! Let alone he gets left out of most fan merch.) and he’s honestly one of the most down to earth and downright cool dudes in DR. I don’t want to change either of them, because I think their looks only make it better for their backstories and who they are as characters! So even if Hifumi gets like no fanart, and Hoshi struggles with getting new content, I’d rather have them the same way they are now, rather than make them attractive. Because I think that the way they are, only makes them better.

And that’s my short version essay on why I think Hifumi’s super rad and more people should give him a chance. Of course he’s a very hit or miss kinda person with his comedy, but if Tsumugi’s obscure anime references were fun for you, then Hifumi’s really good too! ^p^b