#what i do end up writing is good/great and it wasnt NEAR as bad as i thought it was

[papermachedragons]

sorry that you've been struggling to write, i know how much that sucks, but don't beat yourself up too much about it <3 will be keeping my fingers crossed that inspiration strikes you soon and take care of yourself in the meantime 💜

Thank you <3

It really means a lot to me. It's hard to sit with it all without automatically defecting to beating myself up about not being able to write / not writing, but I really am trying. Your words mean a lot to me and somehow they help, even though I can't quite put into words how.

I don't know, but just knowing that someone saw my tags to that post about writing (I'm assuming that's where you came from) and paused long enough to drop me this message, it warms my heart and soothes my soul, so, truly, thank you 🌻💛

[despite-everything]

i dont even know what im going to write but huge trigger warning for issues related to self harm if you read this. i know i seriously need more psychological help but i dont even know what to do at this point. theres certain things i know that i need to do but feel like i cant and i feel like im sabotaging my future self but at the same time im doing so fucking horribly in the moment that i can barely think of anything beyond the present. like im trying so fucking hard to get better but literally just the tiniest change is setting me off these days. the barber cut my sideburns so they're basically shaved off and blunt whereas i prefer to have them come to a point so there is a little bit of hair under my glasses in front of my ears, but i forgot to tell it to the barber today so he cut that off. and i hate hate hate the way it looks and its a change i wasnt ready for and it freaked me out so much that despite doing all these fucking coping skills and breathing and shit that i spent more than a decade in therapy working on, i couldnt handle it. i guess this is where the trigger warning comes in and like i dont even know if im going to post this or not but i need to get it out there because this is just too fucking much but i freaked out and let myself break a bottle and then cleaned it up because usually breaking glass snaps me out of a downward spiral - its not the best thing to do but its usually a reliable last-ditch tool, but it did fucking nothing today and i fucking relapsed anyway. so i hurt myself pretty badly and then couldnt stop pacing and freaking out and pulling at my hair, and now ive calmed down a bit but still feel awful and now theres blood all over me and the floor and some even got on the wall in my apartment and i want to cry but i cant. i feel horrible and just want to crawl in bed but i dont want to get blood on the mattress and i know id soak through the streets, but i feel like i cant get clean yet and im really upset with myself and its this terrible feedback loop. and like i feel paralyzed. my computer was near where i ended up and now im trying to listen to music i love and im typing this out because i need to get it out smewhere or else im going to scream but like i cant even go pet my cat cause im fucking covered in blood and got it on my computer and everything about this is horrible and yet i still want to keep hurting myself. im not right now and im trying so fucking hard to get over this but like this is so bad. its just awful because i know progress isnt linear but i didnt think a relapse would be this bad. and i know i know i know that things can get better. but ive been like this since 2008 and it only seems to be getting worse and the world seems to be getting worse and i try so hard to be optimistic and focus on the good but i feel like im drowning all the time and its like the very most i can do is just not kill myself. im just so tired and so unhappy and yeah some things have been great lately but its only at work and everything else is so fucking horrible i dont know if i can handle it

[lunatic-fandom-space]

The King Steps Out (1936)

Ahhhhhhhh, this one was absolutely delightful (๑>◡<๑)

But before I properly talk about the film, I need to talk a bit about Sissy (1932) which is what its an adaptation of. Sissy was originally an austrian operetta (which was itself based on a preexisting comedy called Sissys Brautfahrt) and was a pretty big hit, but because the composer was a jewish man in 1930s austria, they had to stop putting it on at some point and so they decided to sell the rights to it to Universal Studios, who then produced The King Steps Out. I was aware of the operetta the whole time and I doubted that I would be able to find a full recording of it but I atleast wanted to listen to the songs and review those, but I couldnt find them either so I just made my peace with the fact that I would have to leave it out of my list, but then I decided to look for it one last time after I had finished watching the movie and before I started writing this, and guess what. yeah, I found all the songs after all. So my next post post will be about Sissy, but as of writing this one, I havent listened to it yet, so I'm not gonna be bringing it up again.

Anyway, let's finally get into The King Steps Out

This film starts off with Helene (whos called Helena here) being called over to Franz Joseph's (whos called Francis here) birthday, which is being celebrated in an estate near some small town in the middle of nowhere, to be engaged with him at the behest of their mothers even though she's already in love with one of Franz Joseph's servants. Elisabeth refuses to let her sister get married to a man she doesn't love, so when Helene and their mother travel to austria, she concocts a plan to follow them and prevent the engagement, and she also enlists their father to help since he does not like the idea of one of his faughters marrying into the imperial family. Once there, Elisabeth manages to get into the estate by pretending to deliver a dress for Helene and ends up catching Franz Joseph's eye. From then on the film is mostly those two being cute together, a good chunk of the middle portion is just them hanging out at a carneval-type thing that the nearby town is putting on for the emperor's birthday while no one recognizes him. Them being cute together is occasionally interrupted by Sophie planning the engagement and stuff but it doesnt really amount to anything; the movie ends with Franz Joseph introducing Elisabeth as his fiancee and future empress and everyone is extremely happy about it, even Max, and Sophie and Helene are not even mentioned.

So, the story is kinda weak and honestly, most of the characters arent great, but Im wasnt bothered by it because this was really a romcom that was mostly carried by Elisabeth and Franz Joseph having great chemistry together. Grace Moore as Elisabeth is absolutely delightful, she's so mischievious and silly but also has this sense of sophistication and grace about her. Very wonderful, I could not stop smiling whenever she was on screen. Franchot Tone as Franz Joseph though was... weird. Again, he had good chemistry with Elisabeth and I even think he's fairly charismatic, but idk. there was something kinda off about him. He had a few of these really bad, really sleezy moments and one of them was his first interaction with Elisabeth, which happens quite early in the film and its just a very bad first impression. Basically, after she's managed to get into the estate, Elisabeth goes into the garden to pick some roses for Helene before she speaks to her, even though theres a sign next to them saying its forbidden to pick them, and Franz Joseph and a servant of his see her from a window and he tells his servant that he should go and arrest her and bring her up to his study because he wants an excuse to talk to her. Idk, I just thought that was weird and kinda gross.

I will say, I do really like what happens once Elisabeth is in the study. While she's being brought up there by the servant, she's complaining about getting arrested and hyperbolically asking what kind of punishment the emperor has in store for her for daring to pick his roses, then the servant leaves her alone with Franz Joseph and she, thinking that he's just another servant, starts complaining about the emperor. Eventually she's like "I'm getting impatient, can you tell that emperor to get here quickly so I can find out what's gonna happen to me already" and Franz Joseph is like "yeah sure" and he steps out of the room, then comes back to formally announce the emperor, steps out again before coming back in like "so, I heard you wanted to speak to me, huh?" That was very silly, I really liked that

Overall though, their relationship is pretty fun and those few weird moments dont ruin it for me. Its very much based on teasing each other and witty banter, which I found really enjoyable to watch

That being said, I thought the ending of the movie was pretty bad. I kinda forgot what exactly the circumstances were that lead up to this, but Franz Joseph ends up more or less bullying Elisabeth into having a birthday dinner with him at the inn she's staying at, and when he insists that she drink to the emperor's health she's like "you already insisted that I eat with you, now you're insisting I drink with you, what are going to insist on next?" but then he does get her to atleast toast, and thenhe says he wants to kiss her and she has to be like "no, I said i wouldnt kiss you!" And this isnt banter or teasing or anything, its so oddly unpleasant for the ending of a romcom, I hate it. Especially when you consider that they get engaged basically right after that and then the movie ends. Still, I didnt mind it too much immediately after I was done watching, I wouldve probably forgotten it already if I didnt have to write this review, so I'll probably be able to rewatch this film without too many issues, just not very soon. I'll give it a few years until I'm back in the mood for this one.

Before I forget, this film was adapted from an operetta, so there were songs as well. Honestly, I dont have too much to say about them, I think there were like six or seven that were all pretty alright, and I think my favorite one was called "Call to Arms". Elisabeth sings it with a bunch of soldiers during her and Franz Joseph's carneval date after he basically challenged her to show him her charms and seduction skills, its was a pretty fun song.

One last thing that I want to mention before I wrap this up is, this movie is only an hour and 25 minutes long but it felt like it was longer than that when I watched it, but I dont mean that in a bad way at all because I loved just getting wrapped up in this fluffy little story for an extended period of time. It only started dragging a little during the ending, but that's probably because of how unpleasant I found it.

That's pretty much it, now onto the three small things I couldnt fit into the main post:

Max played a pretty big role here and I did quite like him too, even though most of his screentime were just beer jokes. At the start of the film, before they go off to austria together, Elisabeth makes him promise not to drink beer during their journey but then he just keeps drinking it haha. I usually don't find jokes like that funny at all, and I didnt find them funny this time either, but idk, I did find them kinda charming

I didnt really like the costuming, Elisabeth is the only one who gets consistantly good outfits, except for the Silver Dress which I find very insulting because theyve been hyping it up the whole time and then she finally wears it at the end and it looks bad. I was expecting it to be the iconic dress (even though I would not describe it as silver) because this movie just seems like it would have that dress in it, but then it was just this pretty unremarkable dress made out of some really cheap-looking, shimmering fabric. Very disappointing.

Franz Joseph calls a Romani woman the g-slur. He gets his palm read tat the carneval and then when she goes to read Elisabeth's palm as well, she refuses so she leaves but Franz Joseph insists that she do it and he uses that word to call the woman over. I just wanted to mention that so that the people who go to watch it after reading my post don't get jumpscared by a slur in the middle of watching this cute old romcom. I dont remember anything else that was overtly offensive like that though

[blunderdome]

Sci Fi January. Still kicking

This past week I kept it up. Usually I am struggling to fill the latter half of the month, but its been full steam ahead this year.

Mute (2018)

Alexander Skarsgård is a disabled amish man living in near-future Berlin. As a child he was maimed by a motorboat, and due to his religion, did not explore surgical options for recovering his ability to speak. Life is going well for him, working as a bartender in a lavish club, dating one of his coworkers. He also finds time to work on his hobby - woodworking. One day he wakes up to find his girlfriend had disappeared in the night. It’s up to him to discover what happened to her, while dealing with the overwhelming nature that I call “underleveled in tech skills”.

Having the protagonist not be familiar with the technology displayed on screen is a great tool for allowing the audience to experience it with him for the first time. The movie does a good job of showing how the near future may shape up, both in ups and downs. There is even a bit of commentary on Ableism in technology development. This movie surprised me on how deep it got and I did not expect the ending that came. 8/10

Andor (2022)

I tried watching this as the episodes came out last year. I could not bring myself to care. Overall I feel like the star wars shows are all built on the walking-dead formula for show writing: Have a great introductory episode, a second one to set up the overarching plot for the season, and then just meander everything in to place for the final episode. I was so bored with the B and C stories that I just did not have the patience to wait a week between episodes.

Having binged the season, I can say that I still hated the B and C storylines. Mon Mothma and her deal is giving me game of thrones vibes in a way that doesnt interest me. Bill Skarsgard is fine, but I felt like he only did things to fill in the gaps between whatever Cassian was doing. Cassian had the most interesting story, but there was too much filler of him and the heist crew hanging out in the woods. This is where I quit last time. After powering through the bad dialogue and getting on the heist proper, I was in. The heist was great. the repercussions galaxy wide were intriguing. the jail scenes were amazing.

Ultimately I felt like the funeral as the season finale was meh. A decent “rise up” call to action, but it felt out of place as the season finale/climax. I wasnt event expecting it to be the last episode with out the rest of the show was paced. Really I feel like the star wars shows mostly suck and I dont enjoy the week-to-week release schedule for it. 6/10

[beesmygod]

I'm glad you watched another playthrough of the devil in me bc sgfs run made it look so bad I wondered if he had missed some absolutely crucial game choice but no I guess it really is just like that

the shit makes no sense. im going to "spoil" it rn but like. you can't spoil this game. theres no twist theres just a fucked up guy who walks at you. the killer was killerman. you win prize money.

like lets do a quick list of what was good ("good") and what wasnt. most of these are just going to be moments or isolated plot elements

THE BAD:

it wasnt as accidentally funny as their previous games. accidentally funny i mean.

it had the audacity to end with someone picking up the h.h. holmes mask (not a thing that exists btw. no one is making these except like custom on etsy. its so fucking suspicious) like "oooh hes going to do it agaiiiin!" but he got chopped up by a boat propeller. no he isnt

the areas and parts where certain players were "supposed" to die were REALLY telegraphed and detrimental to the pacing of an already artificially bloated plot

why was there a dog that hated the murderer living on the island waiting to bite the shit out of him. whose dog was that. why was there dog. cheap emotional fodder tossed in at the end.

the opening kill is legitimately unpleasant to watch. they forgot that the kills are supposed to be gruesome and not stomach churningly sadistic or remind me of holocaust movies

the characters are genuinely awful and boring people who hate each other. not a single lifeline to be had. even the dog shows up too late for you to establish any kind of friendship

the reason why no one has cell phones is because a guy who is tricking them into taking his place as the murder victims just takes them as part of the "experience". they're a fucking film crew lol. theres no way

i legit thought it was going to end up being a team of people bc he was somehow everywhere at once doing the slow jason walk

instead it's one man, an ex-FBI agent who was abused by his mom and gets talked into doing serial murder by the single lamest serial killer monologue ive ever heard in my life. its just a guy who decided to try something different one day. and then i guess he built a murder hotel after faking his death so he could do more murder. this sucks. i dont care about this.

the plot elements are completely random. the animatronics made out of PEOPLE (they apparently did not get the news that they were beat to this idea by a solid near decade) have nothing to do with anything at all. not h.h. holmes, not murder hotel. they're just there for no reason. they barely even get used.

and they had the audacity to show him MAKING animatronics OF THE 5 FILM CREW MEMBERS after they arrived on the island. this game takes place over the course of one day. he did not do this. there is no way. this game stretches the player's suspension of disbelief too far.

the writing on the mom and the serial killer is pathetic lol. its rough to see evil attempted by people who can only conceptualize it in terms of physical violence

oh great another taxidermy guy. thanks

it was just some guy

THE "GOOD"

the ending is so bad that its ballsy. it cuts to a news reporter talking about how they are still finding bodies in the hotel where 5 person groups were tricked into staying so that they could be murdered. the ppl watching the report are interrupted by their friend who tells them her viral video won a contest (dog its 2022 lol) and the prize is that 5 of them get to stay in a mysterious hotel owned by a man with the same name as the guy they were just talking about.

then it zooms into the email the girl got telling her that she won and that one image of h.h. holmes is just in the window

did he make the little graphic announcing she has won? did he deliberately include himself? did he not notice somehow that he was in the picture. did he set up a timer and run up to the top floor so he could be very spooky and mysterious

HOW could he POSSIBLY afford another murder house. the invoice for the first one on the private island is IN THE GAME and its an eye popping amount. he does NOT have another house like where is he getting the money? or getting it zoned? or tricking ANOTHER construction team into building death traps that are suspiciously like the ones on the news

theres a part where a woman is stuck in a closet having an anxiety/asthma attack and the scary murder man gives her her inhaler. for some reason. this is never explained

why did he have ultra specific recordings of his mom commenting on what time he arrives and what page of his baby book he looks at. or what time it is.

theres phonographs and creepy music playing everywhere and no one turns them off like "what the fuck!!!" they're just like ooooh no im being menaced SSOOOO much

why was one of the crew members friends with someone who was strangled by "the campus strangler". as far as i can tell this adds nothing to the story, it just freaks her. as the player i dont care bc the the killerman just finds this out somehow and finds a copy of the paper where they used a photo taken of her, her friend and the strangler. guess which one is the strangler:

how could they identify his fake dead body from "dental records". they explicit say this. did he fucking glue a set of teeth into the guys mouth. is he toothless throughout the whole game. is he wearing fake teeth. im laughing just typing this up. what the fuck

he pulled an hh holmes on the construction crew after they built a hh holmes themed murder hotel for him.

the murder counter. why does it exist. how does it know to update.

im now thinking about how funny it is that he put in a 4th digit. get real dude! no WAY

the director being baited into an obvious trap with cigarettes like he was being hunted by wiley e. coyote was insane. my dude you are being murdered. you know you are at this point. why did you go into the room with only one entrance!!

this:

it was just some guy

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[dr4cking]

hiyaaaa can I request a draco that hates everyone except y/n of course he’s so overprotective over her and so soft!?

The Only Exception.

masterlist

draco malfoy x reader | fluff | anon requested.

a/n : hii this is my first time ever writing a fluff because i was only good at writing dirty things lol but i tried so i hope this meets your expectations and thank you for requesting! <3

“get out of my sight, potter” draco shouted pointing at his best sworn enemy, harry potter himself. he walked past him not even glancing at him but bumped his shoulder on purpose making harry lose a little balance.

“oh get lost, malfoy!” harry clapped back after regaining his balance, hermione and ron already holding him by his shoulder preventing him from punching the blonded guy.

“what did you just say?! serpenso-“

“draco lucius malfoy!” draco throw his wand away as soon as he heard the familiar voice shouting at him from behind, his favorite voice.

“oh- hello y/n! h-how are you?” draco turns around to meet his lovely girl, his voice shaking nervously as he looks into her eyes but quickly laughed it off, harry potter scoffed at the scene in front of him before motioning his friends to follow him.

“dont think i didnt see what you were gonna do, draco. thats not a good idea, you know?” y/n pick up his wand from the floor and clinging onto his arm dragging him to their house.

“i know i know, im sorry y/n but he’s just so annoying and i cant stand him!” draco whines dramatically making y/n rolled her eyes at his usual obsession.

“i think you’re obsessed with him, draco. why dont you date him already, hmm?” y/n jokingly said, poking his cheek to tease him even more making draco scrunched his face in disgust.

“y/n please dont make me run to the bathroom and throw all of the food from my stomach into the toilet” y/n was laughing hard at his dramatic words holding her stomach, it secretly brings a smile and a blush onto his face but he quickly hides it.

as they making their way to their house, draco didnt stop rambling about potter and making fun of him giving the girl no chance to stop her laughter.

>>>>>

the next day comes and draco was sitting peacefully in the great hall with y/n sitting beside him, that was until blaise zabini, his best friend took a seat in front of them.

“hey mate, i was looking for this, can i have one?” blaise said as he snatches the chocolate frog from him and shoves it into his mouth, he hummed at the taste making draco gets angrier.

“piss off, zabini!” draco yelled out loud getting annoyed, his action enough to make all the slytherins turning at him. y/n beside him only can shake her head in embarrassment.

“draco be nice, look around,” y/n whispers to him, her fingers stroking his arms softly to calm him down.

“but it was my favorite y/n and this idiot just ate it!” draco protested at his best friend in anger who only give him a sly grin, y/n rolled her eyes and drag him out of the great hall, again.

“you can always have mine, draco. dont be so dramatic” y/n took out her chocolate frog from her pocket and open it feeding draco the chocolate who gladly eats it with a happy smile back on his face. she chuckles at his cuteness.

>>>>>

y/n walked downstairs with her best friend, pansy parkinson, she was looking for her man but he was nowhere to be seen.

“pans, you can go first to the class, i’m gonna look for draco before he’s gonna be late, i’ll meet you there” pansy nodded and leave but not before giving her best friend a kiss on the cheek making both of them giggles.

y/n look around to find a certain blonde, she hadn’t seen draco since the last class, she continues looking around to find him and thats where she found him, with the first year in front of him, she already knew where is this going.

“you better finish this by the end of the day, if not you know the consequences.” draco whispered to the first year giving him his homework, he threatened him while pulling out a few galleons to him, the little boy was shaking in fear and only nodded at his order.

what draco doesnt realize is y/n already stood behind him, tapping her foot and crossing her arms, draco froze at the tapping sounds knowing immediately who it was, he gulped before turning around.

“really draco? threatening the first year to doing your homework?” y/n turns around to leave him, disappointed with his way.

“wait- y/n im sorry, please!” draco grabbed her wrist, pleading at her not to leave him, she was still pouted at him.

“apologize.”

“what?!”

“apologize to this little boy over here and take back your offer, draco.” draco wanted to open his mouth in protest but quickly shutting it when he sees the seriousness in her face, he turns to the boy who was still looking at them in confusion.

“alright, im sorry little guy, my bad i guess?” y/n shot draco a disapproving look making him mutter a real genuine apology to the first year.

“okay, now give your galleons to him draco”

“but he didn-“

“draco you made this poor little guy traumatized” he sighed and placing his galleons on the boy’s hand making him smile at both of them.

“i’m sorry about him, okay? i promise i’ll make sure he wont get anywhere near you again” y/n smile at the first year and he nodded returning the smile and thanking her before he left.

y/n turned back to draco who is already frowning looking away from her, she chuckles and grabbed his jaw with her hand, pecking his lips trying to get his happy side back.

“dont do that again draco, in all seriousness.” draco could only nod at her.

“besides that, we could always have a reason to have study dates, right?” y/n winked at draco making him gives a cheeky smirk to her.

>>>>>

it was a nice day for draco, no potter no weaselbee, basically anyone hasnt step in on his way, yet. he was walking with a happy vibe through the corridor to find his favorite girl, excited to wrap the girl in his arms.

then he found her, her familiar hair color seems to be stand out in the middle of the crowd. but the only problem is, she isnt alone. what in the wizarding world is cormac mclaggen doing right now?!

draco hurriedly makes his way to the pair with jealousy bubbling up inside him and when he already stood behind cormac he pulls him hard by his collar causing him to fell to the ground making y/n screamed instantly at this but draco quickly get beside her and hug her by her waist.

“draco! why did you do that?! oh my god cormac, are you okay?” y/n asked the mclaggen boy worriedly, taking her hand out to help him up, he shots draco a death glare.

“oh please y/n he’s totally fine, he's just weak and dramatic to get your attention” y/n shakes her head at draco in disagreement, scolding him for his previous behavior.

“draco, are you mental? i was just asking y/n about this homework, c’mon man you seriously need to relax” cormac was totally annoyed by draco, anger radiates off of him.

“yeah i will relax once you disappear from our way, now shoo shoo” y/n cant help but stifled a laugh at draco, she gives cormac an apologetic smile and motioning him to leave.

“no need to be like that draco” draco’s hand never leave her waist as they made their way to draco’s prefect room.

“he was getting too comfortable with you” y/n disagrees and reassuring him that it wasnt his intention.

“you look so hot when you’re jealous draco” y/n chuckles putting her arm on his back returning the gesture, a blush tinted onto his cheeks.

“yeah? how about i show you what’s hot in my room, hm?” y/n smacks his head with her other hand, cant control her laughter anymore.

>>>>>

“y/n?” draco called out interrupting y/n who was reading him a book.

“hm?”

“i love you so much, thank you for putting up with me” a smile plastered at y/n’s face from ear to ear, her heart melting at his words, she put the book on the nightstand and turns back to draco cupping his cheeks in her hands, capturing his lips on her kissing him softly showing him her love that she cant even described, draco kissed her right back with the same passion, smiling into the kiss.

“you’re a prat, but you’re my prat.” and with that, draco knew he was falling so deep for her and he has no plan to stop it.

[mylifeisweirdok]

How would u rewrite Sam?

Well shit man you already saw my redesign lmao

Nah but seriously? There are 3 things i would change. 1 being her n tuck overlooked as much, 2 being used as a joke n stepping stone for danny, 3 I want her to really step into her characters history and development (cause redemption arcs are the bomb yes?), and 4 my personal headcanons of course.

~~~

1-the og trio

Ah yes, the three amigos, three peas in a pod, the three musketeers. Danny, Tucker, and Sam. They are my favorite characters to read about and personally? i ship them as poly, but thats the phanon trio. The canon trio aren't as defined as the phandom makes them out to be. Danny throughout the show is consistently a bamf, but he also kinda glances over his friends (just how many episodes had vital plot point being him taking advantage of his friends or having them take the downfall?) I would put Sam and Tucker in a much more prevalent role and really write out who they are as characters. We do of course have some already, from Tuck's Egyptian counterpart to Sam's dragon and plant forms, but we need to see them more as who they are. Just how many times can Tucker hack the government before he has to turn down plans cause he has a court hearing? How many protests can Sam drag the other two along to before they can quote the Miranda Rights by heart? What abandoned buildings do they explore outside of ghosty business (cause what Midwestern teen hasnt explored a corpse of a house)? Where do they dance to the latest underground music that matches dumpty humpty in feels? Give me their teenage shenanigans and who they are outside of ghosts.

2-the jokes

Sam is a really cool character to begin with; she's persistant and head strong, fights for her beliefs and friends, and she stands out in her town of Amity Park as one of the alt kids. Growing up she was an inspiration to kids like me who had nothing but the monotonous life that exists in Illinois, and it wasnt until i was older when i realized she was kinda made into a joke at some points. Namely being the ultra-recyclo-terian lifestyle in canon she has. Which is great, but at some point you gotta draw a line. She's been made a gimmick, something for people to laugh at cause she's basically vegan and that makes her different, more so than her outfits and pov from a money standpoint. Because the characters in the show brush her off, we pick up that being vegan is weird and not right but not left either. Its just, its setting a bad example for how we treat people who eat differently than the American standard. It dont matter what you eat at the end of the day. The writers kinda made it a part of her personality even though its not that big of a deal. Idk methinks that should be rewritten Heavily™️

3-who even Is Sam

Well, like i said earlier, she a headstrong, loyal to a fault, stubborn, goth character for better and for worse. Her character development was a good start. I liked how she was able to eventually reach a tenable toleration of the other characters like Paulina and Valerie (if im remembering correctly?). I liked how she was someone for kids to see and have in the back of their minds as someone to be like. However, parts of her character gets forgotten about too often; like she's jewish. Thats fucking cool as fuck. And when do they mention it? Offhandedly in a christmas episode, and the singular time we hear her grandmother say her nickname. Fuck it, I want her to celebrate Sukkot near halloween. I want to hear about the shenanigans that came with her bat mitzvah celebrations. What about Passover? What does she think of her relatives when they come over for The Good Food that comes with their feast after memoriam? Give me more jewish rep in general, but especially for Sam.

Aside from that, she needs more development in general. She was awesome to watch and even cooler when she ended up dating Danny at the end there, but she did Not receive nearly as much backlash for her choices as other did. Shes pretty hypocritical, and at the beginning thought herself much higher than the other characters. She did eventually cool down a bit but methinks she deserved a bit more arc there. Why didnt her and jazz have a verbal match in Girls Night Out, when Sam said Jazz didnt know how to handle ghosts? Why didnt her european conquest get brought up more after the fact, for teasing or for reasons why they shouldnt do X bad idea? Why was her narrative foil vilified for her femininity, and Sam's "not like the others" stereotype upheld for being better? She had faults, her character as written and her choices as played out. These faults werent emphasized nearly as much as they shoulda been.

4-personal headcannons

There are many things i like that the phandom itself has come up with, from the whole "ghosty weed parent means ghosty weed sam" to her eventual flower shop in amity park; dont forget her polycule of idiots, be that the trio or defect quartet. There are the big things like where she ends up in early adulthood, to smaller things like her favorite coffee being from a cat cafe she had exactly one (1) time, but there are things the phandom hasn't come up with, or at least not to my knowledge. (If you saw my character redesign, you might know whats coming)

Have you thought of punk Sam, instead of goth? What about wanderer Sam? What about a crustpunk trainhopping Sam, who rallies protestors in cities with corrupt police, who swigs bootheel moonshine she got from a rural grandma, who dances jigs in the Appalachias, who traveled when the ghosts finally calmed down a bit? Just imagine a Sam that has such a huge social media presence but is also a figurative ghost cause the average person cant travel like she does; there are communities out there who follow her and assumes she's a cryptid who's had it up to here with humanity (and these people don't even know about the Ghosts, the real ones).

I think she likes tattoos better than piercings cause a continuous steady burn is easier to sit through than a spike of metal. I think she despises kudzu (the plant) and sets it on fire if she sees a patch of it (controlled burning for local wildlife). I think she carries a small mossball from the early 2000s thats somehow still alive even tho shes forgotten and lost it twelve times over. I think, before she left for the rails, when her ma would drag her to dinner parties, she would talk the talk and walk the walk til the very end of the night, then she would call out the host on their latest exploitation and tell them the recordings she got at the party would be sold to the highest bidder in the morning. I think she'd bring home a stray kitten she found and name it fy, the yiddish word for fuck. I think she'd make hot vanilla instead of hot chocolate (fr tho if anyone needs a hot vanilla recipe i gotchu just hmu).

When interacting with teachers, she'd be the favorite until you got to history class; you'd leave that class with more understanding of how horrible america has been than you would ever think was possible in Illinois. The English department loves her and her takes on classics ("why read to kill a mockingbird and get a white savior complex when you could read the hate you give and get a much more realistic and accurate look at racism in modern america? Racism never died, so read the stuff you find more relatable. Also atticus Sucked Ass ™️").

Shes a morning person sure, but also a gym rat; shes there at 4am, running a mile and rowing for an hour while chugging orange juice and green supplements and youre in bed sleeping. She says hello to the entryway even if no ones there to hear it, she says not today to the hallway closet, she knocks twice on her window cause that's her routine when she gets home from school.

Theres so many small bits n bobs that i have for her i forget them right now. Overall shes an awesome character, just needs some touching ups. (Also i hope this is coherent for you, I've been at work since noon and got off just before midnight, sorry if it isnt ill edit in the morning :) )

What about yall? How would you rewrite her?

[reservedfort231]

My problem with Bloodline's ending:

(And the conclusion on the Wrench-Rempart conflict in general)

WARNING: Its just my stupid ass rambling about Bloodline so pls if you not interested in it rn skip it. Also my english is still kinda shit. :'(

I would use that read more thing but idk how to do it on the Mobile App so Iam sorry.

When i first played Bloodline i really liked it and i still do but i think there is a pattern when it comes to Ubisoft game writing.

I watched a review by a youtuber. I dont agree with him about a lot of things. He dislikes the whole Wd series and for me Watch Dogs 2 is still my favorite game and i also like Legion to a lesser extent.

BUT, he made an interesting point about how companies selling rebellion back to us. They use punk imaginery then they chicken out at the ending of the game. And this also true about the ending of Bloodline.( also for Far Cry 6 but lets focus on wd now)

I want to focus on Wrench's story now because i think thats the "political" part. Aiden's story is more a personal journey about making connection with others and thats fine with me.

Now Bloodline has two Act. One thats setts up the story, and the Act 2 resolves it.

The first one is very good in my opinion. The setting is that Reggie left Dedsec to case his dream to engineer things. Rempart found him and with his "help" he kinda hit it big but then he fell from grace when Rempart took advantage of him, stole his work, used him to gain even more money and now Reggie lost everything and cant look in his friends eyes because his guilt and shame.

Now i understand that some people didnt like it but i think you can do great things with a story like this.

Wrench experienced the effect of capitalism and the way the rich handles the people working under them on his own skin.

I have two favorie moments from him:

1. When he brings up that you cant just send the rich to prison. Like they are in a position where the police cant really touch them even if they want to. There are so many CEOs that known to harrass workers and nobody really does anything about them.

2. The "im tired of crimnals conmen runing the world" line, because it implies that its not just a personal thing to him. If you read the text files it is clear that Reg isnt the only person Tommy stole from. So its pretty "Dedsec bussiness" so all good. Wrench is back on track i was very interested how will he resolve it.

Act 2 comes and the answer is he...doesnt.

Like things kinda resolve themselfes. Turns out Thomas was just a rogue element of the Rempart corporation and it wasnt really a systemic problem and Daddy CEO is out for him now. All Wrench have to do to smash his equipment and all is fine, Rempart is done even tho he is the son of the one of the richest asshole around.

And it brings us to the last scene. The scene is okay on a surface level. Which means the actors are good. But the conclusion is that...

...killing is bad?? Or something? Idk!

Like the whole thing was weird and i didnt know why the first time i played it.

I noticed its because they chickened out(like Ubi always do when it comes to political stories) somewhere near when we switch to Wrench. Daddy ceo stepped in, Albion took away Rempart at the end which leaves the player with the feeling the conclusion is that the system...kinda...works??

Wrench and Aiden speak about the conflict between Reginald and Tommy like its only just a personal thing between two expartners and not a Wrench vs Rempart as the system thing if you know what i mean.

And it brings us to the problem. Corporate writing. They make good points but if you noticed they never offer a solution, an alternative because that would be counter productive to them. Like im not saying that the writing is horrible but its kinda half assed.

One could argue that its also probably because Aiden is the main character and the main story is about his character and Wrench is more like a supportive character so his story stayed in the background.

I really hope Wrench will get a novel like Aiden where he really reconcile with Marcus and the others bc i feel like his story stayed incomplete unlike Aiden. (Maybe Rempart could come after them like he promised. Its Ubisoft so its unlikely but one can hope.)

[mexicancat-girl]

Sooo I read your take on the bakugou vs uraraka in the sports festival. i personally agree that you’re right when it comes to bakugou being overpowered (like when he fought todoroki, his quirk shouldn’t have worked at all with all the ice) and the fact that the females here are underrated and are not written well enough. Also I hate that fan service scene with the cheerleading outfits. However when you called him entitled and said that the narrative is favoring him, i dont agree there. horikoshi has made it blatantly clear that he wrote bakugou with the intent of making fans hate him on purpose. It’s why he’s portrayed as such a asshole in the first place, then horikoshi proceeds to show us that bakugou has complexity later on. He basically wants to humiliate him and make him slowly see his errors, and then basically give him slow character development, which is apt for bakugou since he’s been like this for 15 years. Like you said, bakugou logically should have been tired out near ochako’s fight, owing to quirk weaknesses and all, but honestly, it would also be unlikely for bakugou-trained-since-the-minute-i-got-my-quirk to also lose to ochako, owing to the fact that she wasnt as experienced as him or as physically fit, also for her to win by fighting a “weak” bakugou would make fans claim sexism too due to the fact that he still had to be weak for her to win. Also having him win again would have the same issue. So I didnt mind bakugou winning, and appreciated that ochako did her utter best to do so and nearly won, which I felt was a realistic move by horikoshi to avoid as much as possible a sexist situation. Tho not gonna lie, why isnt there another female like bakugou or todoroki in this class? Makes me upset thinking about it but like you said, horikoshi cant write good female characters, so he does as much to avoid so.  Unlike miraculous ladybug which has so much crap going on with so called female strong leads and is slowly becoming so cringey to watch.

Horikoshi may claim he writes Bkugo for fans to hate him…But Bkugo is literally a fan favorite. He keeps getting top 3 in the popularity polls, if not outright winning them. 

Bkugo is Izuku’s childhood friend/rival, making him a core part of the series. He’s inescapable if you consume the media (manga, anime, promo materials). He’s presented as an equal to Izuku, and yet never once actually respects Izuku as a person. But Izuku keeps making excuses for him, as do the other characters, painting him in a better light than what’s actually shown.

Bkugo keeps having very small glimmers of moments where it seems like he’s learning from his mistakes. But then he goes right back to square one. 

(rest under cut)

During the license exam, he storms off on his own because of his belief he’s better by himself. He ends up having a plan to work with Kaminari and Kirishima, but only because they followed him and put themselves in a dangerous situation alongside him. Then during the last phase of the exam, he tries to take things on his own again, which results in him not getting his license. 

Which is a great moment, it seems like he’s getting actual development here! He has to work on remedial exams, puts some ounce of teamwork into getting his license…but it’s all for his own benefit. Everyone praises him over out of their asses over how he’s changed during the training with 1-B, but he still treats everyone like shit. He just sees the benefit of using people on his teams to help him instead of tearing them all down, because he can’t win if he does that. 

He still makes everything about himself. Even when something doesn’t revolve around him, he keeps inserting himself into the narrative. He forces more of Izuku’s secrets from him, forces himself to be there when Izuku talks to All Might about One For All, not for Izuku’s benefit, but because he feels entitled to know about Izuku’s quirk. Even during a discussion which should center around Izuku asking questions and finding out more about his legacy and quirk, Bkugo takes the reigns and takes nearly all agency away from Izuku.

As for the Sports Festival, Bkugo would get more humbled by losing. It would show both Bkugo and the viewers that not just offense-based Quirks (or the male characters) are capable of winning fights. Things like planning and pacing yourself can help just as much. Which would tie into Izuku not knowing how to control OFA during that stage as well, using his mind and ingenuity to get himself to the Third Round without needing his Quirk. It would’ve worked really well narratively! And tied things together!

It also would’ve provided more tension for Bkugo if he’d lost the Sports Festival. When he’s kidnapped, the LOV could’ve used that loss in order to entice him to join them. The only reason he didnt join was because he thought they were ‘losers’, both because All Might stopped the USJ attack and Bkugo has a strong quirk that won him the Sports Festival. If he’d lost, he’d be vulnerable and have had do show some struggle over whether he was going to take up their offer, and gotten some character growth from that. Because he’s cocky and strong, we already know from the beginning he isn’t going to actually accept their offer in canon.

As for Horikoshi’s lack of female characters–especially those that actually battle or do anything significant to the plot–I’m not 100% surprised. Shonen anime in general has a bad track record of writing female characters, if they’re included at all in the narrative. 

My problem is that Horikoshi has a decent cast of female characters with unique powers, and he goes out of his way to sexualize them and make them damsels/nearly useless in fights and scenes that actually further the plot. Just. Goddamn, let the female characters actually do something instead of standing around being support for the male characters, or having catfights with female villains (ala Ochaco with Toga). 

Even Ochaco, the main female character of the series, barely gets any development other than “struggling with crush on Izuku” and “I saw someone die and don’t want that to happen again”. Izuku, Shoto, and Bkugo get entire character arcs and countless chapters devoted to them, and we only get a few pages for Ochaco, if we’re lucky.

Miraculous Ladybug is another beast entirely ngl. I’m not going to touch that for now.

[toutallyahoe]

Omg! So same anon here that requested the Newt HCs (which I absolutely loved 💕)! What if the reader (same metamorphmagus reader) was fascinated by Newt, wheather its his shy behavior or his love for beasts, and changed looks to people familiar to Newt so he can learn secretly learn more about him?? Maybe revealing himself to Newt at some point to? Oh and headcanons of course~

a/n: hey there anon! firstly, i would like to apologize for taking so long to write your request! i had been having some trouble lately in my end here (with me almost dropping out of school and the big sad™ kicking my ass for months) and i needed some time to hibernate (shut off from any contact with anyone) for awhile. hope i didnt bore you to death on waiting for part two of your request!

second off, im really happy you enjoyed the newt x metamorphmagus [name]! i had fun writing it and will always be open for our beloved newty boy here

anyways, on to the head canons!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[name] had seen newt for awhile now before that one faithful day they had talked to each other near the lake

of course [name] would, newt wasnt really that good at hiding whenever he stalks— i mean, watches over him

at first, [name] absolutely found it creepy

i mean, who wouldn't? a random hufflepuff (no matter how they are stereotypically nice and sweet) boy always somewhere in the shadows, watching over you? its a serious cause for some questionable attraction there

[name] would absolutely like to avoid stalkers as much as possible as he had a run in with thay type of scenario years back before he went to Hogwarts and one run in is enough, thank you very much

but that was before the lake thing

after he actually managed to accidentally met his so called "creepy stalker," [name] actually learned that newt is just a shy hufflepuff boy who wanted to be friends with him but was too shy. like, too fucking shy

we already knew the two boys talked to each other in newt's scenario so lets skip a bit to when they met a second time

[name] was running away from his slytherin friend that he managed to piss off by a prank and run in to newt who was about to call out to him and talk

having no time, [name] just dragged newt and made the poor hufflepuff boy run with him

[name] was rather confused on why newt didnt break away from his grasp in order to escape him from trouble, but [name] was rather happy that the hufflepuff was actually down to suffer with him

newt actually forgotten he had a choice, [name], because you were so fucking handsome grinning and laughing as you both ran away from an angry slytherin

oh Merlin, newt is super gae for you lmao

anyways

after successfully running away from the angry slytherin and losing them in the great hall, both [name] and newt went back towards the lake again on when they first met and converse

it was lowkey sweet and nice to talk to each other again after weeks of not talking

skip to a few more weeks and the two being gay friends with each other, [name] is having trouble with his feelings

just like newt with him, [name] was absolutely fascinated with the hufflepuff boy

[name] doesnt even know why

maybe it was because newt was always so flustered and shy towards him or maybe its because of the hufflepuff's fascination of beasts ("fantastic beasts!" as what newt would say with his eyes holding such adoration in them)

or maybe its because newt actually wanted to know him and not just because of him being a halfy and a metamorphmagus

either way, [name] found newt adorable

like, a lot

its was saddening when [name] realized he couldn't hang out with newt or get to know him much as most of the time, [name] always gets dragged away by his other friends and that newt did confessed a few times how he doesnt like attraction attention towards himself

so, [name] made plans to disguised himself by making use of his own ability to shape shift for being a metamorphmagus

[name] actually took a month and a half to fucking remember he could actually disguise himself to run away from the people who is always swarming him to escape and hang out with newt

please dont be mad at him, he's a smart boyo but he has his times where his braincells yeets themselves away asdahsjajdhkaj

anyways, [name] had already thought of a person to copy their look to get to know newt more in secret

when he saw the right time to get away from the crowd that always drags him away to hang out with newt, [name] change to be that person

it was a bit painful and odd to change into whole new person as [name] mostly just changes the length or color of his hair and not everything about him

but sacrifices must be made to learn more of his favorite hufflepuff. so [name] just sucked it up

[name] lowkey thankful he didnt have to change genders as he picked newt's seatmate in Potions that he saw had been having some conversation towards the hufflepuff from time to time ([name] was so happy they were male and is in his house too so he doesnt have to change into another set of robes)

with him looking like another person, [name] set forth to look for newt

it took a while until [name] saw the hufflepuff boy and surprise surprise, newt was in the lake where they first met

it was odd but [name] felt his heart leap in joy on seeing newt that he almost forgot he didnt look how he normally was and was im disguised

thankfully, newt had noticed him before he could make a fool of himself and reveal who he truly was

newt, was again, a shy boy and was hesitant to talk to the disguised male

it took [name] to even say his own name for newt to actually talk to him

"so... uhh, i saw youre close to [name]"

newt perked up on his friend's name being mentioned and [name] swore he saw newt's freckled cheeks flushing red

with the mention of his name, newt opened up and talked to [name] (who's still in disguised) and [name] was leaping in joy inside his mind when he saw newt talking to him

[name] fully knows newt is so shy and is afraid to converse with others, so, seeing newt talking to others (even if that others is just him in disguise) made [name] proud

anyways, being disguised as newt's seatmate that had talk to him from time to time, all [name] had to do was mentioned anything related to beasts or just him, he could get to talk to Newt

[name] had done this for two weeks, disguising as random students to talk to newt to gain information on what the hufflepuff boy actually thought about him and his own likes or dislikes

[name] would have gone more longer if it wasn't for him getting caught in the act

curse that [Hogwarts house] seatmate of newt that he shape shifted first!

if you want more context, [name] was caught because that seatmate of newt's had borrowed the hufflepuff's noted earlier in Potions and was returning newt's notes back. it just so happens that [name] shape shifted into them again

it was so embarrassing but [name] had to explain or else both newt and the student he shape shifted into would freaked the fuck out

changing back to who he was, [name] awkwardly laugh at the student he shape shifted into and said to them that he was practicing on looking like other people while avoiding eye contact from newt

thankfully, the student was cool with it and even laughed at him and said that he was so cool

it took awhile for them to leave both newt and [name] along but when they did, it was awkward

[name] awkwardly confessed on shape shifting into other people to talk to newt when the hufflepuff boy was quiet and avoided looking at him

[name] was a bit terrified on what newt would think about him when the silence continued on

he was fucking terrified

while newt on the other hand, a bit sad that he doesnt have any new friends since it was just [name] in disguises, was rather fascinated by [name] again

"y... you can s-shape shift your entire... being?"

bless newt and him being fascinated by anything and everything he does because [name] could not live if newt thought he was creepy

but anyways, hearing newt speak to him, [name] perked up and hastily looked at newt

[name] could feel his face heating up when he saw newt looking at his so much awe and adoration in his face

ugh, these two boys are so cute

[name] swear from that point, anything bad would happen to newt, he'll kill everyone in Hogwarts, including himself

[lissalizzie]

Okay so a couple of days ago I made a post about how I couldn't write fanfics about Chishiya because I couldn't imagine him as a guy who would be in a romance without sacrificing his girlfriend for a card or visas, and some very cool person suggested me to write an angst...AND I DID ahahahaha.

Ookay, somethings you should know now: I'm Brazilian and I speak Portuguese, I learned English by myself and this is the first time I try writing anything in English so IM SORRY IF I MADE ANY MISTAKE

Second thing would be

THIS IS ANGST SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT OR IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD OR UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DON'T READ IT

It also contains death, psychological manipulation and violence

Please dont romanticize it too, it's not a romance story, it's just the conditions I imagined for Chishiya to be involved with someone

Chishiya x Reader

You were hurt... So hurt you couldn't even begin to explain that feeling.

It was true You were somehow grateful because you were alive at least... Your friends couldn't say the same, and neither all those people you saw dying every fucking game.  But you just couldn't... Not to think about how pointless was being alive and alone at that place... Alive, alone and fucking in love with a person who had an Ice cube in a shape of a card in the place of his heart.

You knew from day 1 when you met Chishiya and Kuina at the Beach, when that boy with the mysterious look came to you for the first time for "a talk" that nothing good could come from that. Nothing, except, maybe, for Kuina's friendship... She, who was the first person who notices the mess you was doing and tried to stop you... As the great blind stubborn you were, You just didn't listen at the time... You was at a fucking game world, playing for your life almost everyday, dealing with deaths and losing people... Missing the ones you loved the most, those ones you didn't even know if were or weren't alive... You could deal with a stuck up  boy, because that's everything you thought he was... Your mistake... Well, You've recently discovered You're pretty damn good in making mistakes here.

Chishiya discovered yout feelings because at some point you couldn't manage to fight for your life and hide it... He noticed and started to be there for you after every game, specially the harder ones. He didnt talk anything, he just was there... He didnt touch you either, but he got to spend more and more time looking at you while you both were on bed... Those eyes, just as cold as him.

You didnt touch him, but you imagined he would be just as cold as that look... But you also believed he would be that deep... Like oceans. Chishiya was a grey ocean that you wanted so much, and every day more, to know...

You was so fragile, so fragile when he touched your skin for the first time, twice... The first time with his hands that wasn't cold at all which just made you want him nearer... The second time with the lips that came from your face to your mouth.

The boy must've planned that for weeks, you could see that now, in fact, now you understand that must be the reason why he looked so much at you. You was that school subject Chishiya probably didnt have any interest on but really had to study to pass the test... So he did... And you did...

And for the first time since you fell into that hell you felt alive, you felt like someone, just one person was there, and that Chishiya cared... And that  he would do for you just as much that you would do for him.

You were so blind and in love... He started saying things about plans and you were so happy cause you thought that meant he trusted you...  The first time he mentioned you on a plan you couldn't stop smiling, you were finally a part of someone's life there, it was like having a purpose again... And also being with him felt so much like action and... Not knowing about the next second because he was so... cloudy.

God, if only you could talk to yourself in the past, if only you have stopped for a second and gave that situation a better look... You felt so dumb now...

Well when he asked you to go to that place at night you... Just went, because you trusted him with your life by now. You knew somewhere deep in your heart that you shouldn't... Not just him but anyone... But it was a need, you were alone for a long time and then you found him... And then he started acting that way with you... He caught you out of guard...

It was silent, you didnt understand why you should be there, but the fact is that you were so afraid. Chishiya only said to be there and walk... It wasnt that much, but just as fast as you got there, you felt something on your back and then everything was dark.

When you woke up, you were in a room and Niragi, just with a couple of other important people -you just knew they were important because they were with the Hatter, the only one you could recognize besides Niragi because of the colors of his clothes.- You barely could see, actually, your eyes were still dealing with the lights.

- So that's the little bitch, huh? - You could listen to Hatter's voice. He came near of you and showed you a couple of cards. - Trying to steal from me ? You bastard really thought you could steal from me and just run away ?

You just didnt understand, you didnt had any card with you. You knew what happened to traitors and you always gave your cards to the beach just as you was told.

-B-But... I give my cards to you, I know I do. I'm not dumb

- Oh honey, dont play the stupid card. We found the cards with you, you were running away... You have many here... You haven't been to all this games lately, have you ? Have you been stealing from someone else, darling? - Hatter seemed to be genuinely angry and you were so afraid to say anything.

-I...

- Yes... - And you heard that familiar voice... That was Chishiya but you were hoping he would only come to help you... - My cards have been disappearing as I told you. I connected that it happened after every game I played with her after we became close... That's when I came to talk to you... - That was so much information you couldn't even handle. Chishiya betrayed you, lied about you and used you as his little toy just so he could... Distract people while he was doing whatever he was really planning and wasn't telling you... It was so clear... Oh God you felt so dumb and now it was like all your fights for being alive in that place had no value at all... Because you let yourself get caught by that stupid feeling...

Chishiya looked at you with the same cold eyes as always, no guilt... You wasn't expecting any, not after that.

- Well.. Death for the traitors, that's what you've been told - Hatter was just ready to give the orders to Niragi and you didnt really think you deserved to die by the hands of such a disgusting person

At that point you could only cry cause you knew it wasn't worth it to try arguing... Chishiya was too damn smart and there would be no evidence of mistakes if you knew him...

- She was stealing from me, right ? So I think I have the right to end this with my own hands? - Everyone got so surprised because Chishiya wasnt exactly the kind of guy who got involved with the dirty part of the job.

- Are you sure about this ? - Hatter never really doubted about Chishiya because he knew how much about himself he didnt show people... So Yes, killing someone because of a couple of cards didn't surprise him at all, maybe because he would do the same. - Whatever... Just be done with it by the morning... And dont even think about playing any kind of game Chishiya... You could be the next one.

Chishiya wasnt even listening. Niragi seemed literally so frustrated but, at some point, all people left.

Chishiya caught the gun that was above the table and came near you. You were crying silently but so hard... - What do you want? You wanna torture me now? Seeing me playing the stupid in love all this time wasnt enough for you? You want to literally kill me? How did you do that? - You were screaming, at that point you didnt care if someone would hear.

- You don't understand, right? - And then he showed a couple of cards, this time, one of each... Oh god... He literally used you to get Hatters's cards. - I'm sorry you made the wrong choices... But I needed to to this... I want to get out of here just as much as you...  About the plan... You know I have access to the cards after the games... It's not that hard to steal the repeated ones, they don't pay that much attention on them... And also, just after I did it, I came to talk to Hatter about my card disappearing so the he wouldn't miss anything... It wasnt that har actually, it was just a distraction... But you know so much about me and my plans so I couldn't let you alone with Niragi or any of those people cause they're so dumb they might believe you and that's would be a problem for me... So

- You bastard, What do you think you are? God? You think you can just come and sacrifice people? - You wanted to beat him so hard it almost gave you the strength to break that stupid string around you. He just smiled that way you used to love but now make you nauseous.

- If I were god... I wouldn't allow people as easy to manipulate as you to live with the others, darling... Dont blame me for trusting the person everyone told you that shouldn't be trusted... Now... Let's get this done. - He pointed the gun at your forehead and you screamed as you closed your eyes.

- Please... Please Chishiya. I didnt mean anything for you at all?

- There's no meaning when there's no feeling, y/n... You're not in high school, you're playing for your life, and so am I... And you lost. I'm so sorry for you. - For the first time he seemed to be nervous but you couldn't see much anyway... He pulled the trigger... And then it was over.

[honestlyandrogynousnightmare]

magic reveal

So ive been thinking about the magic reveal we did get and also the different magic reveals we COULD have gotten so i thought id project all my thoughts into another massive tumblr rant:

personally, i dont think the magic reveal was bad at all. yes, i wouldve done it slightly differently, i think it was done way too late in the show and left little time to explore how that reveal affected merlin and arthurs relationship, and obviously we never actually ended up seeing if magic was legalised and all. but i dont hate the magic reveal we got. the key part i really love is that it was done on Merlins own terms, he could have just lied, but instead he finally told Arthur the truth and i think that there were many reasons for that decision being made. 

firstly, Merlin definitely felt guilty and blamed himself for Arthur being stabbed, he must have at least partly blamed himself because everything he did directly led to Mordred turning into a little shit. Part of him might have just felt as if he owes Arthur that explanation yknow. secondly, i feel like by that point he was tired of lying in general, he needed to get that secret off his chest. those two things combined with the fact that Arthur was dying may have pushed him to telling the truth,  because deep down he did know that it was probably the last chance to tell Arthur the truth. 

i liked how they presented Arthurs reaction too, the clear message there was that Athur was angry at the lying, thats the part he saw as betrayal, not the magic itself. he didnt want to believe that Merlin was a liar, when he always saw him as the one person that was entirely honest with him. hell, he still trusted him enough to send him back to Camelot and Gwen so he knew Merlin wasnt evil. If the writers actually did a good job at developing Arthurs character, i feel like itd be more obvious that Arthurs stance on magic was different from his fathers, but yknow bbc and their shoddy writing. I love that moment of acceptance as well, when he tells Merlin that he doesnt want him to change. He doesnt even now about all the things Merlin sacrificed and lost in order to protect Arthur and Camelot but he still accepts him. I think that when he first fund out it was all like “holy crap i dont even know him” but after spending a few hours with Merlin he realises that its still the exact same person he knew the week before. 

anddddd as much as i like the way they did that magic reveal, the ending of the show left me with no closure and a lot of tears. my ideal magic reveal wouldve happened earlier, either at the start of season 5 or near the end of season 4. It would give us a chance to see them talk it out, and god we know that there would be arguing, and if arthur wasnt dying he would probbaly be shouting but the key part here is that arthur wouldnt hurt merlin. i think he culd consider sending him away if his father was still king just to protect him but we all know merlin would reply with “no <3″. but since i cant see the reveal happening when uther is king, i will be ignoring that scenario. and again, theres many ways this could play out.

the one way that ive always found interesting was arthur figuring it out on his own, because he may be an idiot, but hes not stupid. *if you like this sort of thing read “so close and im halfway to it  on ao3, its a merthur fic and the magic reveal in that one makes me cry so much and the fic is so well written* I feel like at one point, he would just put the pieces together, and it would all make so much sense to him? Merlins random disappearances and scars would make sense, the luck he had when it came to fights, Merlins weird reactions when someone mentioned magic, how on earth merlin of all people managed to survive every battle and fight arthur was in when some of his best knights didnt. 

then theres the very cliche “merlin using magic mid battle to save everyone” reveal. because its mid battle, i really cant picture them talking it out there lol,  i picture a lot of ignoring but also if other people saw him using magic, we all know the first thing arthur would do is give the knights a good old “if you kill him i will kill you and then myself”, it wouldnt be until later that they would actually talk. 

and then like the canon magic reveal, theres Merlin doing it on his own terms. i personally really like thhis one because it gives him so much more control over the situation and over his words. *another fic rec here if you like this sorta thing, its called “to the world that let you by” and its really beautiful and made me cry at 1am so there you go, and as you guessed it, its another merthur*. i love this reveal because it gives merlin a chance to explain, and arthur a chance to listen and try to understand. 

now there are loads of different sub categories that could go into those, like Arthur finding merlin creating butterflies out of thin air lol, but i wont go into those. whatever reveal would happen, i feel like “the talk” after would usually end up in a similar way. Arthurs reaction would be similar to what we got in the canon reveal, because the actual magic isnt what would hurt most.  it would be the lies. Arthur has been lied to and betrayed by so many people you cant really expect him not to react badly to being lied to. the magic sure would confuse him and put him in a difficult position, because you have to keep in mind that his entire life he has been told that magic is pure evil, and to him, merlin is the polar opposite of that. i think it would just make him question everything, like does he even know this man? has he won any of his battles or has it always been merlin? why is he in camelot? why would a sorcerer be serving him? but he wouldnt hurt him. he wouldnt even consider that imo, sure, he will demand an explanation, but he wouldnt actually thin about hurting him. 

and merlin would understand why hes angry about the lying, that much is obvious. and he would be reluctant to tell arthur about the things that were happening behind his back all those years, but he would be honest. and go that conversation would be hard for both of them, i cant really imagine them having it without a lot of crying, shouting and even more wine tbh. arthur isnt good at listening which is why this would be so hard for him too, but merlin has to be honest, completely honest with arthur for the first time in his life and thatd be difficult. 

and i think merlin would handle arthurs reactions well, even if arthur decided to lose his temper lol. but i can still imagine him being a bit bitter if arthur judged his choices and stuff when it came to poisoning morgana and freeing the dragon, asking what on earth HE would do in that situation. where the only choices he sees are bad ones, and he has to pick the one thats least evil. 

arthur would probably be most pissed off at the thing about his mother tbh, because merlin outright lied there, usually its just deflecting but he made that deliberate choice to lie. but i really do think he would understand all of this, while not every choice merlin did was good, he did it with good intention. 

and then arthur would remove the ban on magic and they would kiss and get married amd live happily ever aft-

thanks bbc.

anyway if you want any more magic reveal fics (or links to the ones i mentioned, ao3 can be bloody annoying sometimes) feel free to comment or message me or anything, i have a couple more in my bookmarks. 

thanks for reading this rant, scuse the bad grammar, id love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and magic reveals in general so feel free to comment! have a great day<3

[char-lotteral]

I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.

Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)

okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves

The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.

I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!

Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.

I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333

And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.

In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))

Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.

Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)

I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara

"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"

BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.

If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw

Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.

LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT

Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿

Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.

She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.

And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it

Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.

Tenten??

oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D

Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.

Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!

AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿

I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD

[luna-nigthshade-wood]

Nobody cared enough

Sumary: There is a church on an abandoned property in the middle of nowhere. It used to be full of parishers, but it now lays empty. People avoid the area completely. They say strange noises can be heard at all times but especially at night. Furniture moves from a place to another. People that venture there don’t last the night. Everybody is on agreement that the land has been cursed, so no one checks on it. That is why nobody notices when it happens. Its November

Stanford Era-- Dean dies while Sam is in Stanford. It takes his family a lot of time to notice

Note: I wasnt on a good place mentally when I started writing this, so I think I proyected a little. Hope you enjoy

There is a church on an abandoned property in the middle of nowhere. It used to be full of parishers, but it now lays empty. People avoid the area completely. They say strange noises can be heard at all times but especially at night. Furniture moves from a place to another. People that venture there don’t last the night. Everybody is on agreement that the land has been cursed, so no one checks on it. That is why nobody notices when it happens. Its November

 John Winchester has been hunting for the thing that killed his wife for what seems like a lifetime, dragging both of his sons with him. He always tells himself he did the best he could. Sam is long gone to Stanford and all that he has left is Dean. Not exactly. He has started sending him to hunts alone. He needs to cover more ground. He needs his soldier to be ready for war. In reality, he cant barely look at his son, seeing a soldier of his own making feels like a stab to the heart. There will be time to rectify mistakes once they find Mary´s killer. There will be time to a “chick´s flick moment”. There will always be time (Time already ran out)

 Sam Winchester, smart and proud Stanford student. Sam, who finally got free from his family. Sam, who will make a name for himself. Sam, who is ashamed of his childhood, of his family, of his father, of Dean. He doesn’t understand why his father would scream at him for wanting to go to college. He doesn’t understand why Dean never fights for himself. He doesn’t understand why Dean doesn’t leave. He wishes he could talk to Dean sometimes, but he won´t. He knows Dean will try to make him come back and he has already outgrown his family. Maybe in a couple of years once he is a big shot lawyer he would call him, maybe he will do a hunt with him for old times sakes. He knows Dean will welcome him with open arms. There is no doubt Dean will be there (Except he will not)

Its April

Dean didn´t call to report after he finishes the hunt

He didn’t call after he sent him another set of coordinates

He didn´t respond to his messages asking where the hell was he afterwards

He didn’t contact him in a week

He didn’t contact him in a month

John hasn’t heard from his son in 6 months. He figures he might have gone to visit Sammy or he is using his charm somewhere. He promises himself he would look for him afterwards. Right now, Adam needs help with a school proyect.

 (In New Orleans there is a voodoo case getting out of control)

(In Arizona, there is a werewolf running rampage)

(There is a spirit in a lake, a wendigo in a forest, a woman in white in a small town, all of them taking victims without a hunter to stop them)

 Sam is ready to propose to Jess. He has the ring ready. After his successful interview, he is going to take her to a nice restaurant, get on one knee and propose. He grabs his phone to tell the plan to his friends and his hand slipped. He sees Dean´s contact and think about calling. Thinks about sharing the best moment of his life with his brother and he pauses. Dean´s last text was on October, his last call 2 weeks before that. There is a feeling of wrongness there, like the one he gets after waking up from a nightmare where Jess is on the ceiling, a voice telling him that there is something wrong. He swallows the feeling and calls Brady instead to put his plan in motion, all thoughts of Dean forgotten. It’s a great time to be Sam Winchester

 There is something wrong. Bobby can feel it in his bones. He is not superstitious, but years of being a hunter had taught him to trust his gut, and his gut tells him something is wrong.  He hasn’t heard from his boy yet. Nor Caleb nor Jim had heard from him. Nor any other hunter he knows. He keeps leaving voicemail after voicemail until the machine tells him the phone is full. He starts searching hoping to get an answer. He even calls John´s cell only to get an answer machine telling him that if he needs anything to call Dean. And for some reason that worries him the most.

Fire. That is the only thing that Sam´s mind seem to grasp. There is a fire around him, around Jess. Jess is dead and someone pulled him out of it. He hears someone screaming until he realizes he is the one who is screaming. Sweet, perfect Jess is dead. Someone, something put her on the ceiling, like mom. Probably, the same thing that killed mom, now left him without a fiancé. He tries calling Dean, with no success. He tries dad, with the same results. He tries Dean again, and that leaves him with a bitter taste on his lips. Dean doesn’t answer. For a minute he thinks something is wrong, before anger consumes him. How can his so called family be so callous as to ignore him when he needs them, how can Dean not answer his cell right now? He would find them and he would scream at them, and then they would find the thing that killed mom and Jess, so he could return to his perfect life away from hunting. (Careful, little grasshopper, you are starting to resemble your father)

 John gets the voicemail of Sammy first and sees the news later. His heart breaks a little after hearing his youngest (middle?) in pain. He almost responds to his son, but he hesitates. He needs time to figured out what happened to Sam after that night with the demon. He needs to know what did that creature did and how to revert it. He needs to find a weapon. Meanwhile, he saw that someone pulled his son from the fire and he marbles on Dean´s ability to get Sam out of danger. He will send Dean some coordinates so they can keep hunting and training for the war, so they remain occupy while he searches for answers. He will get his revenge, so he can return to his family (So sure of yourself that you have a family to return to).

 (There is a plane that crashes down for no apparent reasons, followed by other 2 accidents. A desperate friend keeps asking for help, but it falls on deaf ears)

(There is a property on Lawrence, that is plagued with evil, a family recently move don’t survive the chaos, and a psychic with a heart of gold, doesn’t understand what is happening)

 Bobby keeps calling all his contacts and finds himself empty of answers. Nobody knows nothing and in this profession that is the worst answer you can get. Rufus and Ellen offer their help. A young man, name Lee comes forward and start searching himself. Suddenly, half of the hunter community is up in arms trying to find their missing comrade. The beef they had with John never extended to his sons, especially to the one that was always ready to help someone in need. Dean was important, Dean was loved (Too bad he didn’t figure that while he was alive)

 (The Apocalypse was cancelled yet again, it wasn’t the first time in all history where this had happened. It just meant that preparations had to be made for a century or so ahead. There would be other vessels, and other players. Michael felt oddly relieved that the fight had been postponed, Lucifer down in his cage felt the same)

(Azazel knew the plans were cancelled, his kids got a free pass without knowing it, they would return back to normal. That didn’t mean he couldn’t still play with the Winchesters for a while, nobody cared after all)

 It all came to head on an abandoned church in the middle of nowhere where a poltergeist was seen last. Somehow, Bobby, John, Sam, Caleb and Jim had ended up there at the same time. John was shocked to see Sam alone, as was Sam. Bobby, Caleb and Jim seem to be mad at something.

-Where is Dean? And what are you doing here? -John asked confused

-I thought he was with you- Sam asked, equally confused

-You don’t know- Jim asked horrified

-Nobody has seen your son since November of last year and you dare stand there looking confused- Bobby asked

-Wait, what?- Sam asked, anger leaving his body

-They don’t know- Azazel said appearing near the church

-Where is Dean?- John asked the yellow eyes demon- What did you did to him?

-I didn’t do anything to your “precious” son, but if you want to know, you just have to go behind the church and see. And don’t worry Jonny boy I will leave you and your family alone, after all I don’t need you anymore- and with that he disappeared

Sam was the first to move, crossing the field to get to the other side, and promptly wished that he didn’t, because below a broken window, on the ground lay the body of his brother.

The worst part wasn’t even that. The worst part was that the impact and the fight with the Poltergeist didn’t killed him. No, Dean got a spinal fracture, that prevented him for moving. He dies bloody and lonely days after the fight, screaming and praying for someone to save him. Asking for his dad, for his brother, for anyone to hear him. His last words, not that anyone would know, where “At least, I am going to see mom”.

It was November, again

  There is a church on an abandoned property in the middle of nowhere. And a bunch of hunters that gather around the broken body of a young boy, that never had a chance

AO3

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hi sweety❤️ Can I have a fic where Arthur helps x reader who's having a panick attack? him calming her down, cuddling her... thank you so much 😘

My dear friend. Thank you sooooo much for your request. I really really hope you like the result.

Summary: You`re greateful for how far you and Arthur had come in your relationship, how much progress he made to experience true happiness. But then you discover one of his journal entries. Is he still in the same dark place he was before? Just the thought of him suffering is giving you a panic attack. But Arthur is right there with you...

The dim light from the tv screen was the only light that filled the living room. Murray Franklin was talking to a well known comedian. You watched Arthur resting on the couch. He was falling asleep during the live show, even though he was looking forward to this episode all day, he was so tired, his eyes got heavy when Ellis Draine and his Jazz Orchestra started playing already.

"One day" you thought watching him breathe in and out like it was the easierest thing to do when you suffered from waht he had been through. One day he will be sitting on Murrays couch and telling his own jokes. And his idol will be proud of him like a father. Because he deserved it. He deserved the world.

Arthur seemed at peace with himself sleeping. That was new. Which made you proud of how far you two have come in your relationship. He was getting better.You felt it every morning waking up, receiving your good morning kiss from his coffee stained lips and cigarette tasting breath. He was making baby steps but looking at it now, over a year later it was a total different world he was living in. The one you created together. Ever since you met him you wanted to cure him. To support and comfort him through everyday life. To help him out of his mindset which was all that he had known since he was little.

People kept telling you that it was impossible to heal wounds like his. To heal someone that experienced his kind of trauma. That all he needed was proffessional help. But you knew that they missed out at something. Just because he needed his meds didnt mean that love wasnt the key for his cure.  You knew that there were some scars hidden inside of him, buried so deep that it would take years to get through and be able to work on that. But you also knew that being  loved was the only thing in this world that could ease Arthurs pain and make him the man he always wanted to be. He was destined to be.

And every single day  spent together was proof that he was making progress. His smile became more and more genuine. His laughing fits didnt happen as often anymore and if so they wouldnt last that long because you would hold him and help him breathe until it was over. He also told you about his journal entries and how they changed. His therapist was also seeing the changes. He was talking about how much more poetry and beautiful thoughts filled the pages.

You gently stroke his hair. Watching him sleep always felt pretty intimate to you. He was so vulnerable and unaware of his beauty. But you knew that even in his sleep he was aware of another thing- your love. Thats why he was even able to get some sleep.

You took another close look at his face. You could never get enough of him. It was risky to give him a kiss on his closed eyelids. Arthur had a very light sleep and could wake up any second but there was no way to fight the urge to do so. His eyelid fluttered under the soft touch of your bottom lip, but he didnt wake. You let your index finger travel over his dark eyebrows. They were shaped so perfectly, matching his piercing eyes and the slight circles underneath them. His body was still stressed out from work. His fragile body which was trying so hard not to break down while starving.

His stomach problems caused by his meds was another thing you had to work through. You looked at the bowl on the table. he almost finished his soup today, which was a good sign. You smiled, got up from your knees and walked to his desk to get the empty cups of coffee from the morning. It was time to make the dishes.

But the moment you grabbed the cups his journal distracted you. It was opened. You wondered about his last entries, the ones he wanted to show you because he wrote some new poems lately.

It took you a moment to think about if it was even okay to have a look at the opened page but it was already too late. One sententence was marked, the letters thicker than the rest of the written words. It caught your eye without a warning. And when you read it, your heart stopped for a second.

"I just hope my death makes more cents than my life"

Why?

Why the hell would he write something cruel like that?

The letters started to blurr through your tears. One tear was falling upon the page. Right on the word HOPE.

Shit. Now he would notice that you came near this page. You nerveausly grabbed a handkerchief and pressed it on the spot where the tear was soaking through the page. It was too late, making it look even worse.

You started to cry , throwing the handkerchief on the floor.

Why?

Yo thought he was getting better. There was so much proof.

Did he felt like his life was worthless?

Didnt make any sense?

Was he feeling like all of this wasnt making sense?

You thought you helped him.

Was it al in your mind? His proress? Him becoming a happier version of himself? Was it all a lie you told yourself?

The possibility of Arthurstill being the same tortured soul as when you met him simply broke your heart.

Why was a beautiful and gentle soul like him suffering so much? How cruel can the world be to him?

Was he still wishing he was dead? Was he still lying in bed at night, fantasizing about ending his own life?  Would he ever hurt himself again? Risking to being locked up at Arkham, so there was no chance to share a bed together? Just visits with him being handcuffed on the other side of the table? Was there still a chance he was that unhappy inside?

Tears fell like rain.

The pain inside your heart grew with every thought that crossed your mind. If life was still torture to him, why wouldnt he talk about this to you? Didnt he trusted you enough? Was he embarrassed about how he felt? Or was it simply because he didnt wanted you to get worried about his condition?

It was all too much.

You started to feel like your throath was getting tighter. Like the walls were closing in. Everything inside of you screamed. There was this nameless fear inside of your guts. Possesing you, hurting you. It was getting harder and harder to breathe.

Dizzyness overcame you with all its power. Cold sweat. All of the sudden the happiness you felt while watching him sleep was being sucked out of your body. And now all you knew was fear.  Liek it was the only emotion left in the world. Pure, naked fear in its rawest form.

A panic attack.

You had experienced this before but never this intense.

You sat down on the chair, trying not to look at the opened journal again.  It hurt so much. All of it did. Your body. Your heart. Mostly your heart. And your head. Both heavy from tears and the thought of Arthur being suicidal.

Your breathing got heavier as you started to sobb.

And then you heard Arthurs footsteps. His naked feet on the floor. You woke him up. He was finally resting and you woke him. This made you feel even worse.

"Oh my god Y/N, darling. What happened?" He noticed your tears and heavy breathing.

"Dont worry....Arhur....please....just go back to sleep okay? You need your sleep.  You`ve been working hard today...."

Arthur checked your pulse "Oh shit, your heart is racing. Did you took any medication? "

"No..."

"Did something else happen?" He checked your forehead, noticed your shaking hands. "Looks like you`re having a panic attack. I know the symptoms very well. I had so many in the past when I woke up from nightmares."

You nodded. Still sobbing like a baby. Arthur gave you one of his handkerchiefes and started to stroke your hair "Oh darling, I kow this feels terrible. But it will pass. Just try to breathe. Breathe with me okay. Remember when you helped me breathe during my laughing fits? I will do the same with you now okay?"

"Okay"

Arthur lifted you up and carried you to the couch.

"Is that okay? Is it comfortable?" you nodded. He was so caring it broke your heart. He cared so much about you, while inside he was suffering from so much pain.

He positioned himself behind you, resting both of his hands on your tummy and told you to breathe in and out like he did. Until you felt your breath becoming one with his. Just as calm and deep.

"Good" he whispered, his gentle fingers under your shirt. He knew that skin on skin contact helped calming you down.

"You`re doing great" his voice was everything you needed to hear.

"Oh Arthur....I feel like I cant breathe...."

"Shhhhhhtt.....baby I know. I know how it feels. Your body is telling you lies. You can breathe. Just do it with me."

"You felt Arthurs chest lifting up and down, his warm breath in your neck. He was everything to you. You needed him to be happy.

Arthur placed thoughtful kisses all over your neck. As soft as a butterflies wings. You tried to concentrate on the details. His long , dark eyelashes crossing the spot behind your ears. The tip of his nose tickeling you. His muffled "I love you`s".

"I`m sorry I woke you up"

"Dont be!"

"There was this sudden fear coming over me. It was like....I thought I was dying."

"I´m right here with you Y/N. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise!"

You nodded. Knowing he was right. Nothing could harm you with Arthurs arms around you. You just wished it was the same the other way around. Wasnt it the same?

His journal said it wasnt.  His written words hitting you like a knife.

"Do you know what triggered this?" He asked you, while his hand was caressing your chest.

Should you tell him? He would notice the wet spot on his journal page anyway.

"Arthur I am so scared to tell you this but...I was ...oh god....I was looking at your opened diary  page. It was lying on teh table when I was getting the coffee cups and there was this sentence that caught my eyes......" you started to sobb uncontrolable.

"What page?" he asked "Please dont cry. Ohhhhhh please ...." he pulled you closer to his chest so his heartbeat was pressed against you.

"You wrote....."I just hope my death makes more cents than my life...." Arthur. This hit me so hard. I didnt knew you still felt like this. I dont know.....what to say....I`m just.......oh Arthur....." you pressed yourself against him as if your life depended on it. Arthurs white shirt was now soaked with tears.

"Ohhh nooo darling. That was my old journal. My therapist wanted to bring it back to her to proof how much progress I made since I met you!"

You loosened your embrace to look him in the eyes "W-What?"

"Yeah" he shrugged "I just marked the darkest pages to see how far we have come and stopped at this one before going to sleep."

The weight of the world was falling off your shoulders "Really?"

"Yes.....oh  Y/N I am so sorry you had to go through these emotions just because I was so stupid to leave my old journal lying on the table. "

"You are not stupid Arthur!"

"Well this time I was"

"It was my fault....I shouldnt have looked at the page in the first place".

The air was finally coming back. Your body was starting to relax again.

Arthur held you close in his arms "That was the old me. And yes sometimes I´m still having dark thoughts but its just.....echoes from the past. Its not part of our reality anymore. Its just ghosts. They`re not real. Just trying to tell me lies. So I am not listening to them . I´m listening to you. To your words of love and comfort. I`m save with you. And you are save with me. Remember?"

"I remember Arthur. I love you so much!"

"I love you more"

"Thats impossible" you smiled, kissing his upper lip.

Arthur rested his head in the crook of your neck whispering "If I`ve learned one thing from being loved, its this: Nothing`s impossible - with you in my arms".

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