#what he did to me is so horrific and so evil and so twisted

[lesbianboyfriends]

.

[sha-lyuzar]

Loghain Mac Tir is my comfort character. It is not often a pleasant thing to admit, and my reasons are complex, and personal, but fundamentally what makes me so attached to him is how human he is. That kind of depth and complexity is what made me fall in love with Dragon Age in the first place. He’s not just a “noble hero” or an “evil villain,” but a fully realized person who embodies good and evil, and everything inbetween, who is shaped by his past and his deeply personal convictions, his flaws, his fears, his fierce love for Ferelden, and, most importantly his tragic mistakes, that lost him everything, and that is what makes him feel so real to me.

He doesn’t have an easy narrative arc. He’s not driven by simple greed, cruelty, or even by misguided idealism. He’s a survivor with wounds that never fully healed, and those wounds shape the way he sees the world and interprets threats. Every heinous decision and tragic mistake is a direct consequence of his loyalty to Ferelden and Maric, and his willingness to bear the burden of horrific choice. He has been bleeding for his cause since he was a child, and it has turned him into the same kind of cruel and cold tyrant He fought against in the first place, and watching him struggle to hold true to his values, and eventually abandon them, as his path grows darker and more isolating, is this profoundly tragic thing that to me is infinitely more compelling than a classic Hero's Journey.

What Loghain did in the Alienage is deeply disturbing and inexcusable. Using Tevinter slavers to control and exploit the elves is one of the darkest points in his character arc. It’s a choice that reveals just how far he’s willing to go to maintain control and secure his idea of Ferelden’s “independence,” even at the cost of his own morality, so He lets in a foreign power to abduct and subjugate the citizens he claims to be protecting. It unveils the extremes of his desperation and paranoia, because in his mind, he’s protecting Ferelden, but in reality, he’s perpetrating the very kind of oppression he once fought against. It is dark, it is horrific, it is unforgiveable, and that is the whole point.

He has to confront the devastation he’s caused, and he can’t simply brush it aside as a “necessary evil.”. If he joins the Grey Wardens, his path involves acknowledging these grave mistakes, taking responsibility, and finding a way to live with the guilt. There is no reconciliation for his actions, his fear and trauma may explain but never excuse what he did. There is no easy way out. Loghain is stained with the blood he shed forever. He has to live with having failed, with the compounded weight of his actions and regrets, and, if he joins the Wardens, he isn't even granted the mercy of a quick and clean death, and instead is exiled from the country he poured everything he had into.

And doesn't this resonate? Does this not perfectly reflect the difficult reality of being human? How people can be fiercely protective, deeply flawed, and driven by complicated motivations, and that these qualities make them more worthy of understanding, not less? Loghain’s arc speaks to me on such a deep and personal level, especially as someone who has been battling the demons of trauma. His story is a vivid reminder that trauma doesn’t always make us better people, but exacerbates our struggles and can lead us down dark paths. i see parts of my own struggles in Loghain, i understand his pain, his fear, the choices his past self would loathe him for, and the gnawing self-hate, regret and grief.

Trauma twists our intentions like that. Instead of guiding us toward empathy and understanding, it clouds our judgment, and pushes us to make decisions we later regret, and become versions of ourselves we hate. My reality of trauma has not been this character building experience, the way it is often depicted in media, but something harrowing and life-altering, that still poisons me, even years later. But seeing a character lose all tether to himself and get lost in his demons is a tale worth telling, and an experience that still grips me, even 15 years after playing DA:O for the first time. Seeing Loghain live through rock bottom in DA:O, and then, ten years later in DA:I find purpose and whatever semblance of peace is possible in his circumstance, is something that gives me comfort. It is deeply personal, and i keep this unforgiveable and irredeemable, this grief-stricken and regret-filled man, this complicated and multifaceted character deep in my heart.

There are spoilers for datv under the cut. Major spoilers about the end of the game. If you have not played through yet, please don't be tempted to look. i thought i would be fine with spoilers, but i am not. You have been warned.

All of this is rendered moot by the ending of datv. By a throwaway line. i have been spoilered by this online, and have not reached this point in the game myself, yet, but it leaves me feeling a lot of ways, and it hits me hard. It feels like everything i found relatable in his struggle, everything that made him so human, is suddenly taken away. If his actions weren’t truly his own, and he was being puppeteered by old gods magic, then what does that mean for the weight of his choices? It feels like a betrayal of everything that made up his character, a character who has grappled with his trauma and made terrible choices, yes, but ones that were driven by his own will and conviction, always.

The complexity of his journey, the depth of his remorse, and the struggle for a new purpose, all become overshadowed by this new twist. It threatens to erase the beautiful, painful, and human truth of what it means to confront one’s demons and seek understanding in the aftermath of suffering, what it means to reassess and take accountability for your actions and do the hard, dirty, and thankless work of bettering the irredeemable, bit by bit, piece by piece, so that one day you may draw a breath and feel just a bit of that weight eased.

But no, he was just a victim all along. He has no agency, his self-actualisation is lost on him, he was never responsible for himself. It feels like one of Dragon Age's most complex characters has been flattened down into cardboard.

[raymantogether]

Rayman Together Community Spotlight #3 - Clairiphi

Rayman Together Community Spotlight #3 - Clairiphi

Introduction:

Have you ever made your own Rayman comic book series? Growing up, I spent thousands of hours outside of playing the Rayman series creating comics and drawings, making my own adventures for Rayman and his friends. However, I never could create something as captivating and truly unique as the Rayman Nightmarish Series. Rayman Nightmarish stole my heart and is something that I have followed since 2020. Every few weeks to months, I eagerly anticipate the next chapter. There is something so personal about the art style and original characters, which I fell in love with. Every strip is full of personality and charm. I had the pleasure of meeting Clairiphi, AKA Chiara, during my visit to Ubisoft Milan. In person, Chiara is just as amazing as her series. So when I decided to make this Community Spotlight Series, I just had to make a segment on Chiara and her Rayman Nightmarish series.

1. Please introduce yourself.

"My name is Chiara; I go by Clairiphi on the web, and I'm a storyteller from Sardinia (Italy) who dabbles into drawing to accompany her stories. I hope one day, not too far from now, to become a professional comic writer if the comic industry in Europe gives me the chance. For now, I sadly remain an enthusiastic hobbyist."

2. What are you currently working on in the Rayman Community? 

"I’ve been publishing my fan comic Rayman Nightmarish for a few years with the frequent help of my partner Francesco (@thepinna on Instagram and Cara), who is a professional illustrator and studied as a comic artist as well. Without his teaching, I would be nowhere near where I am with my skill level. He taught me how to storyboard, how to efficiently use a drawing tablet, and helped me train my writing skills. He also offers his direct artistic input from time to time, when work hours permit him (for example, while I did the storyboards and pencil sketches for chapter 11, he did inks and colors)."

3. What is your inspiration behind Rayman Nightmarish?

"One December evening I was particularly bored and haven’t been writing since the beginning of high school, but that evening I was coming from a long period of frustration regarding the school path I chose, and coincidentally, I was also back on my Rayman obsession because I was playing Legends and Origins. I had this fairy character (Waaty) and a horrific, almost lovecraftian villain (The Lighteater) in mind for a while, and all of a sudden I said, “You know what? Let’s stop daydreaming and write an actual story!” I took a huge empty notebook from my desk drawer, and a bunch of years later, here we are!"

4. For any newcomers, what is the story of Rayman Nightmarish about?

"With Rayman Nightmarish, I aimed to narrate a classic Rayman adventure, with the humor, the combats, the voyage across fantastical places... And zombies! Yeah, I love horror, and of course there was going to be a twist. But no worries! This is still a story for all ages, like Rayman always was after all.  An ancient evil called The Lighteater is rising from the depths of the sea and is going to bring a dark plague that will soon turn The Glade of Dreams into The Glade of Nightmares. Of course it is Rayman's job to save the day once again, with the help of Globox and a few unexpected friends, like Waaty, the livid dead fairy with strange clairvoyant abilities...and many others along the way! Will he be able to do it this time? Very likely knowing his records, but this could actually be more challenging than he thought."

5. Is there anything new or unreleased you can share?

"I’ve actually been working on a new original fantasy series for a while. The story is already all planned, I'm in love with the characters and every process I came across during the planning of the plot. I hope with all my heart that I'll be able to bring it to life, not as a webcomic but as a fool-blown series for comic stores’ shelves."

6. What made you fall in love with the Rayman series?

"When I was a little girl, I didn’t have much social skills, and my first ever playmate, before my brother was born, was my dear cousin, who one day came to me with a copy of Rayman 3; his parents got him somewhere during a trip. That game changed my brain chemistry because as soon as I saw the fairy council level, I was hypnotized, and I wasn’t even the one playing! The music, the scenery, the jokes—I don’t know, but every time we played it, I came home wishing I was still in that world. Then a few years later, my cousin got a PS3 and gave me and my brother his PS2, Rayman Raving Rabbids, and Rayman 3. I was so happy! My first ever “comic” was a very cringy Rayman fanfiction I wrote in middle school, kind of an ancestor of Rayman Nightmarish in a way, haha! I thank my cousin every day for showing me that game that evening, and if he were still here today, I bet he would think Rayman Nightmarish looks pretty sick (especially in comparison to his middle school predecessor)."

7. What is your favorite Rayman game?

"I think it’s pretty clear by now that it’s Rayman 3 since it comes with so many dear memories, but I really liked playing both Origins and Legends in co-op with my brother when they came out. They were really fun to play with others! While I’ve always considered Rayman 3 like an intimate journey to take alone in a fantasy world, as silly as it sounds. Haha!"

8. Who is your favorite Rayman character?

"I’m going to be very unoriginal and say it’s Rayman because it’s true."

9. Tell us about your time at Ubisoft Milan.

"It was better than Disneyland! I felt like a kid again being able to hang out with a team of professionals behind a whole videogame. Not only was I happy, I felt seen, like, “Woah! These guys know I exist and even asked me to come here, hello???” Pretty surreal experience!"

10. Other than playing Rayman, what are your favorite things to do?

"I’m going to be completely honest; I haven’t been playing a Rayman game since the dawn of time. Haha! Back when I was a little girl, I wasn't much of a gamer and only played Rayman games because I didn’t care for the others. Now I love my switch, and I found many more games I love to spend time with. Rayman still has a special place in my heart, because it’s thanks to it that I found out I was actually meant for writing stories. Two of my other favorite things to do (besides writing and drawing, which are obvious) are reading books and watching movies, and in both cases, my favorite genre is horror. I also like to play fantasy TTRPG games like D&D or Pathfinder from time to time; they are very stimulating for the imagination."

11. Tell us something interesting or funny about yourself that we might not already know. 

"I’ve actually graduated (both bachelor’s and master’s degree) from a music conservatory in classical piano and never taken a single class in any art school. Sometimes I feel stupid about my past choices, and sometimes I’m glad because learning to play an instrument on a professional level has helped me build discipline and time management skills that helped me greatly in the writing process."

12. Do you have any hidden talents?

"I don’t know much about "talent,” but I do love to sing in my car, and I can memorize the entire script of a movie if I like it a lot. Haha! I remember when I was in elementary school, I used to recite Madagascar to myself when it was past bedtime, but I didn’t want to sleep."

13. What is one thing you can’t live without?

"Besides my air conditioner, I think I would go insane if something happened to any of my writing devices. I keep all my notes scattered between my computer, my iPad, and many physical journals. While clouds are essential, sometimes I just need an actual piece of paper and a pencil to figure out a scene or a plot point."

Want to discover more about the Rayman Nightmarish series? This is my link tree where new readers can find the best social media platforms to either catch up with the story or stay tuned for any exciting news:

[yuri-is-online]

Your “the moon is beautiful tonight post” is so goddamn good. Can you imagine the soul crushing pain of thinking “finally, not only is the one I love telling me that they love me too, but there is a connection between these two worlds. Maybe I’m not as lost and alone as I thought I was, maybe our connection can withstand this all, maybe I can find a new home where I can find the love I lost from the old one, connected back to me through the beauty of the moon and our words” only for it not to be real? The feeling like you forced yourself upon them, made them uncomfortable because you were so desperate for a connection to both them and your home world? It would drive anyone to tears. The way you write it is so brilliant, I would love to see it for Savanaclaw and heartsbyul if you have the chance to do so, mainly just because I think those dorms would struggle with the necessary communication and the yearning and the confusion the most out of all of them (Pomeforime would figure it out through context clues or by Rook stalking, Idia wouldn’t be outside for it to happen to but if it did Ortho would ask, and Diasomnia is too used to having to look for context clues with humans since briar valley is so out of touch from human culture), but overall I just wanted to say that I loved it

;-; I am so glad everyone likes that request so much, I go back and forth on whether or not I did a good job on it so seeing people really like it is humbling and reassuring. To say the way I write is brilliant is extremely touching to hear, I cannot thank you enough. I am so glad you liked it!!!

My requests are closed at the moment, but you bring up extremely good points about all of the dorms you mention here. Pomefiore and Savanaclaw are dorms I am have requests for and you are very right about how I am handling Pome. Vil specifically is someone who all of those horrific feelings of miscommunication and fear of having forced a connection are issues I want to handle in a way that won't cause too much second hand embarrassment for the reader. And with Rook I want to avoid making it too much of a joke, I haven't written too much solo Rook content so I want to make this *good* With Savanaclaw... the pining is going to cause some intense tension and I intend to be quite evil with it.

With Idia (i will probably end up doing the other dorms with this because I like having a full set with these sorts of things) I could see Twisted Wonderland having a similar trope in anime, just not related to the moon. So he sends out his little tablet to hang out with you for some reason and spends the time skip screaming about how he wasn't there in person for his shoujo anime confession. And then he has a spiral about how you probably don't know what this means yada yada yada. Ortho is the one who asks because he has a good head on his shoulders and sets his big bro up for a second take.

I haven't thought excessively about Diasomnia... but I could see that logic applying to Malleus and to a lesser extent Silver. Sebek likes to read, and I sort of like the headcannon of him reading Austen esq romance novels so once he realizes you think you are in a "relationship" he might not realize what he said but he knows he said something. Lilia is a basket case when it comes to feelings of any sort so he might not even realize what you think is going on and someone like Cater needs to point it out to him... and I have just had an exceptionally evil idea sparked by that hehe

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh

Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman

Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation

OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS

NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck

oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done

she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she

she

oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM

dude he has to kill his mother now

this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.

Francis's FACE oh my god.

Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion

God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it

IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO

"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM

dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out

God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are

HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU

Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone

Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side

Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!

Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha

BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second

Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius

Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god

Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.

Uh. Nevermind

Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.

God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please

Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....

Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah

I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?

I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW

It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.

I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU

Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her

She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.

Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.

Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.

Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning

Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.

Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free

also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?

Oh is she just dying right now

Julian doing the get down mr president

MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT

Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy

Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at

EW EW EW EW

Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.

Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed

And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real

Christ. Vic is so fucking dead

She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.

Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead

it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself

I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?

AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL

damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever

sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth

i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.

The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later

Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection

Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?

Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see

Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?

Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby

Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself

I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys

Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office

Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.

oh my god LINK

HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR

oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE

Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY

oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee

that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god

babygirl i love you

you deserve the world

but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham

... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs

there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid

This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic

I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.

She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.

I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.

I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.

Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.

Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.

just dunk her in the goop

Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.

oh my god

yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this

okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.

Okay. I'm normal.

I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally

Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.

oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha

she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything

is he gonna kill her now.

TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin

he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head

dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode

holy fuck

did not call that in the least

well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz

"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.

God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.

Wait. No no

don't

don't do it

no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn

please dont

pelase dont

oz don't you dare

nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO

PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE

NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU

OZ YOU

OZ

NO

WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING

ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO

SANO

NON NO NONONONO

VIC

vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family

all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse

HE'S MUGGING HIM

YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU

i

i

and the water takes him too.

JULIAN

oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA

JULIAN

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH

SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????

bro.... oh my god..... this is....

I'm so happy.........

sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....

nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for

oh my god

ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......

she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah

you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago

oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO

oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve

hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now

NOT THE BATSIGNAL

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things The First Shadow Review

Synopsis: Following a horrific incident from their previous life in Nevada, the Creel family relocates to Hawkins, Indiana in an attempt to make a fresh start and instill a sense of normalcy in their son, Henry Creel. However, Henry is anything but normal, and harbors a dark secret of his own that scares both himself and his family. When a series of gruesome animal killings takes place, attracting the attention of a group of teenage outcasts and a Doctor with his own agenda, Henry realizes his secret is about to be exposed, and is forced into a reckoning that will change the course of his life, and of Hawkins, forever.........

Observations:

FINALLY!!!!

I've been waiting for MONTHS to see The First Shadow. As far back as January, we got tickets and made plans to travel to London specifically for this. Last Thursday (June 20, 2024), we were able to view it on-stage.

Was it worth it? Short answer: YES.

This is going to be divided into several parts. The first bit will detail my experience at the play, and the remaining parts will contain SPOILER HEAVY analysis of the story, the characters, and plot revelations tied directly to the mythology of the show. There's a lot to speculate on where the Duffer Brothers will take the final season from here.

Part 1: My Experience

In terms of production value, this was top-notch. I loved the set designs, from Hawkins High School, to the classic 50s Diner the characters hang out at, to the gothic Creel House, to the cold white rooms of Hawkins Lab, to the hellish landscape of Upside Down, and so on. The 50s aesthetic works well, and there were multiple shots that conveyed the sense I was watching an episode from the show.

The special effects were spectacular. Huge shout-out to the way they choreographed the mutilation of both animals and humans. It actually looked like bones being snapped and limbs twisted around. There's even a disturbing scene where Hopper and Bob are digging up the carcass of a butchered cat, and the prop they used for it looked realistic (combined with dirt and blood for nauseating effect). The lighting also helped elevate the creepiness of it all.

The music was also great. They had a nice selection of 50s songs, but they also brought back familiar themes from the show. One of my favorite musical cues was the use of Philip Glass's "Window of Appearances" which is heard when Vecna's origins are revealed in "The Massacre at Hawkins Lab" (Season 4, Episode 7). They also use it in the climax of this play:

The actors brought their A-game, but the two performances that really stood out for me were Isabella Pappas as Joyce and Louis McCartney as Henry Creel. Pappas does a stellar job combining Joyce's world-weary "I'm sick of everyone's bullshit" attitude with the fierceness that makes Joyce stand out as a character. It reminded me a little of Natalia Dyer's performance as Nancy Wheeler, especially with the "take charge" attitude that both of them have.

As for McCartney, he was the show-stealer. I didn't go into this play expecting to feel any sympathy for Vecna, but the emotional depth McCartney brings to his performance elevates the character to a 3-dimensional complex tragic villain, which makes his eventual fall to evil all the more heartbreaking.

The audience I was with was fully immersed. Most of the jokes got a laugh, there were a few screams when jump-scares occurred, and there was a standing ovation at the end when the cast came out to give a bow. Even during intermission, everyone was chatting happily about the play, and I heard nothing but compliments.

My only regret is, due to a scheduling conflict that day, we ended up missing the first 5 minutes, and they wouldn't let us in the theater until the title cards came up. We did see parts of the beginning on a TV screen in the lobby (and one of the patrons was gracious enough to fill us in on what happened), but I wish I'd been in the theater for the beginning. My advice is GET THERE EARLY if you plan to see it. The theater fills quickly, and they may not let you in at certain points.

The only minor nitpick I have about the quality of the play is there were a few moments I had a hard time understanding what certain characters were saying. This was mostly in the scenes with Henry/One/Vecna when he was either screaming or alternating to his demonic voice. I was usually able to figure out what was going on, but I wish the dialogue had been clearer.

Overall, this was a fun experience, and I even brought back memorabilia from it:

Part 2: Characters/Story (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!)

It's pretty much advertised in the synopsis, but the play takes place in 1959 when Joyce, Hopper, and Bob are in high school during the time the Creel family moves into Hawkins. The story is largely centered on Henry Creel's villain origins as he becomes more unhinged due to the power he possesses. This leads to a series of pet killings in Hawkins that catches the attention of Hopper, who ropes in both Joyce and Bob to investigate and find the culprit. All the while, Joyce is struggling to put on a play at Hawkins High School (i.e. The Dark of the Moon), which coincidentally happens to have Henry/One/Vecna as the main star! :)

These three arcs sound like they shouldn't connect at all, but to the Duffer Brothers credit, they manage to thread them in a way that's believable and engaging. Joyce's exasperated attempts to get The Dark of the Moon off the ground provide some light comedy to what is essentially a grim story, and it was a nice way for the audience to see all the adult characters from the show (i.e. Ted Wheeler, Karen Wheeler, Al Munson, Lonnie Byers, Sue Sinclair, Charles Sinclair, etc) as they were during their teen years.

The investigation of Hopper, Joyce, and Bob into the pet killings hearkens back to the old-fashioned dynamic the Party had in the first season when they were looking into Will's disappearance.

As for Henry/One/Vecna, his arc was well executed and horrifying on so many levels:

The way a young Henry Creel was portrayed in this play was oddly endearing. I mentioned earlier that McCartney brings a lot of emotional depth to the character, and by that, I mean he portrays teenage Henry as awkward, shy, creepy, funny, and even sympathetic at times. He's a kid who doesn't feel comfortable in his own skin, who has a hard time interacting with other people, and has powers that frighten him with the added side-effect of NOT knowing how to control them yet. Victor Creel mentioned to Nancy and Robin in S4 that Henry was a "sensitive child" and it turns out that was meant literally: Lights go on or off (or even explode) whenever Henry's mood fluctuates (making Henry constantly jumpy), he can unknowingly tune into the radio with his powers and mistakes it for voices in his head, he can read the thoughts/moods of other people, he can create illusions (similar to Kali/Eight), and whenever he tries experimenting with his powers, it ends in disaster. In short, he's someone who's terrified of his own shadow, and almost everything in his environment sets him off. At the same time though, there are some relatable qualities to him, such as his love for comics like Captain Midnight (which he eagerly shares with Patty), and there is an internal struggle he deals with for most of the play to genuinely be a good person in spite of the demons (both literal and figurative) that threaten to overwhelm him. He reminds me of Will Byers in some ways, and I am dead sure that parallel between these two characters was intentional on the Duffer Brothers part.

Contrary to what's implied on the show, it turns out Henry had his powers long before he moved to Hawkins. Previously, he lived in Rachel, Nevada until an incident between him and another boy resulted in said boy ending up in a wheelchair. It's ambiguous whether Henry deliberately attacked the boy or if it was an accident (it could have been either one), but it was enough to force his family to move. His parents (particularly his mother) are insistent on pretending everything is normal and that Henry will eventually get better, all the while putting more of an emotional strain on Henry as he tries (and fails) to conform.

We get a little more insight into Henry's parents, and it's not pretty: Victor Creel was already established on the show as a war veteran with severe trauma and PTSD over killing innocents during a raid, and the play depicts him the same way, with the added effect of being so wrapped up with his own issues that he fails to see his own son spiraling. The sad thing is there are scenes indicating he does love Henry (and also defends Henry's relationship with Patty, referring to it as "puppy love") but he isn't able to convey that in a way which makes Henry feel safe.

As for Virginia Creel, I don't know if this was intentional in the narration, but I found her unlikable. Putting aside the unsettling 50s Stepford Wife persona she projected, her treatment of Henry bordered on emotional abuse. She likely didn't intend that, but everything, from her attempts to keep Henry isolated from the one relationship that brings him any happiness, to constantly treating him like a time bomb waiting to go off, to pretending everything is okay when it isn't.........all of this causes whatever mother/son relationship she has with Henry to deteriorate. There's even one nasty scene where she smacks him, though she quickly regrets it when Henry lashes out in anger and forces his mom to witness a vision of herself being covered in spiders when she was locked in the closet by her abusive parents as a child. In some ways, it reminded me a little of the Norma/Norman Bates relationship from the Psycho series (minus the incest subtext) in how unhealthy it is. It was deeply uncomfortable seeing her attempt to force Henry to be something he wasn't just so she could maintain the image that she and her family were perfect. And when she realized she couldn't do that, she finally tried to wash her hands of Henry the moment Dr. Brenner showed up and offered to take Henry into his care ("Lock him up and throw away the key" to paraphrase one of her comments). I get that this is set in the 50s where there's plenty of values dissonance with how parents raised their kids at that time, and there is some context behind why she was scared of her son and his behavior (because there were times Henry wasn't acting okay), but she still handled this situation poorly and contributed to Henry internalizing his trauma and insecurities until they exploded out of him in the worst possible way. It was bad enough that Henry was dealing with something he didn't understand, but she needlessly added on to those problems.

Alice (Henry's sister) is also in the play, but she only appears in a few brief scenes, and sadly doesn't get a lot of characterization beyond being the "cheerful child" in the family. It's implied she knows that something is wrong with her brother, but doesn't look closely at it. Interestingly, they portray her like she's Henry's younger sister, even though the show established that she's supposed to be older (There's a news article in S4 that claims Henry was 12 and Alice was 15 when the Creel murders happened). Other than that, there isn't really much to say about Alice.

The three main characters (Joyce, Hopper, Bob) have their familiar quirks that will follow them into adulthood: Bob is nerdy, smart, good with technology (which comes in handy in their investigation) and the host of a radio show. Hopper is the disgruntled son of the Chief of Police who's trying to make something of his life. Joyce is high-strung, in a dead-end relationship with Lonnie, and trying to find a balance between optimism and pessimism. In a way, I'm reminded of the Steve/Jonathan/Nancy dynamic we briefly got in the S1 finale, with Joyce having similarities to Nancy, Bob to Jonathan, and Hopper to Steve. This was clearly set up as a love triangle between the 3 of them, and I have to question if the Duffer Brothers deliberately did this to foreshadow what could end up happening between Steve/Jonathan/Nancy in S5. In any case, Joyce, Hopper, and Bob investigate the animal killings when they start to happen, and while they come close to figuring out who it is, they ultimately miss the mark and pin the crime on the wrong person (Poor Victor Creel). Sadly, by that time, it's too late, and both Virginia and Alice Creel are dead.

There is a new character introduced named Patty Newby who plays an important role. She's the adopted sister of Bob and was revealed to have been taken in (or stolen as a child, as Henry later claims) by Bob's father, Principal Newby. Despite his misanthropy and awkward nature, Henry takes an interest in Patty, and the two of them develop genuine affection for one another. When Patty auditions for Joyce's play, Henry helps her with her lines (which leads to both of them getting cast as the main leads), and later feels comfortable enough to share his secret powers with her, including giving her a glamorous vision of starring and singing in a Las Vegas show. Against all odds, I actually found the relationship between Henry and Patty to be cute. Not only did it humanize Henry, but the way it was presented made sense: Both of them are outcasts with deep insecurities that they're trying to work through. Patty feels like an outsider in her family and at school due to her race (which isn't helped by people like Dustin's father making disgustingly bigoted comment towards her during class) and her complicated relationship with her adopted dad, who treats her coldly. Since Henry also feels like an outcast in his family, he's able to empathize with her, and both of them try to encourage the best in one another. In a moment of genuine kindness, Henry helps Patty locate her biological mother (who coincidentally is also a singer), and Patty returns the favor by trying to encourage Henry into believing that he is a good person and that there are positives with his powers.

I know some fans will complain about how Patty was never mentioned on the show even though she's supposed to be adopted siblings with Bob, but I'm not bothered by that. Nothing about her existence contradicts anything on the show, and it was nice to see a redeemable side to Henry that proves he wasn't a complete monster to begin with. The only thing that's harsher in hindsight is that, because Patty and Bob were close growing up, and because of Henry's affection for Patty, it makes what he does to Bob in S2 (i.e. siccing the demodogs on Bob) a lot more vile.

Finally, there's Dr. Brenner himself: If there was ever any doubt that he saw Henry and the other special kids like El as a means to an end, this play erases that. He is at his absolute worst here. Manipulative. Cruel. Determined to push Henry over the edge. Egging Henry into murdering a convicted prisoner, even though Henry fights back against doing that, all so Brenner can test him. Hurling verbal abuse at Henry, and then playing up the "Loving Papa" persona in the same way he would do with El years later. It really says something that he is the most loathsome character in the play, and that he doesn't see Henry as a person so much as a tool.

This was already a given on the show, but I still remember fans who kept making apologies for Brenner's behavior in S4 while insisting he really did care about Henry and the other kids in spite of his abuse of them. 🙄 I always maintained those were garbage apologies, and this play only reinforces that. Even though Henry is ultimately responsible for the choices he makes (regardless of the negative influences in his life), there is an argument to be had that Brenner bears responsibility for destroying whatever remaining goodness Henry had left in him until Henry became the cold, calculating monster with a plethora of rage and a deep hatred for humanity to accompany it.

Part 3: Revelations

For a while now, I've held theories that the powers El, Henry, and the other special kids have had were connected to the Upside Down. These theories were even talked about in my reviews for Stranger Things Six, Stranger Things The Other Side, and Stranger Things Suspicious Minds. I've also speculated on the idea that the Mind Flayer might be its own entity, and that Henry/One/Vecna didn't create it so much as gave it a form when he found those black particles in the Upside Down decades later.

This play confirms those theories: Not only is the Upside Down connected to their powers, but it's revealed in this play that the Mind Flayer acted as a malevolent corrupter to a young Henry, which would later lead to him becoming the monstrous Vecna.

At the beginning of the play, there's a flashback to 1943 where the U.S. military was experimenting with a new technology on the USS Eldridge to create a force field to hide the ship from the Germans during WWII. Interestingly, this bit was based on a real life alleged experiment called "Project Rainbow," and the pamphlet I bought gives more details about it:

In the play, the technology caused the ship to end up in the Upside Down, where most of the crew was slaughtered by Demogorgons. The sole survivor turned out to be Dr. Brenner's father, who came back to the real world with altered blood in his system. He ends up dying, but passed on his secret to his son, kick-starting Brenner's scientific pursuits for the military. In other words: Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El banished Vecna to it in 1979.

Fast-forward a few years later. Henry is in Rachel, Nevada, playing in one of the caves with a spyglass when he encounters a rogue scientist who worked under Brenner in Nevada. Brenner had spent years attempting to replicate the experiment on the USS Eldridge in Nevada, and one of his scientists had stolen key technology and fled to the caves. When Henry discovers the technology, it transports both him and the scientist to the Upside Down. The scientist is killed, but Henry gets exposed to a malevolent entity (The Mind Flayer) before he is transported back to this world. Just like with Brenner's father, his blood is altered, and so is his personality. Brenner would later be able to track Henry down due to the spyglass he dropped in the caves after his exposure. In spite of escaping the Upside Down, Henry was now connected to the Mind Flayer, who spends the majority of the play acting as a malicious influence driving Henry to kill, and chipping away at his personality bit-by-bit:

It's not really a spoiler to say Henry is behind the pet killings in Hawkins (since he was shown killing animals on the show), but the difference here is the play makes it ambiguous how much control Henry has over his powers and actions. The Mind Flayer certainly uses Henry as a vessel, but there are moments Henry was shown to be capable of resisting it, indicating there was some manner of agency on Henry's part. In some moments, he chose to drive off the monster, whereas in others (like the deaths of Virginia and Alice Creel), he allowed the monster to work through him.

Like I said, these are theories I've held for a while now, so it felt gratifying to see them validated. While Vecna's monologue to El in 1979 implies that he was always a sociopath with powers who acted on his own accord with no outside influence, it's important to note that Vecna in that scene is an unreliable narrator twisting past events to paint himself a certain way to El. Part of it may be that he doesn't want to admit he was a victim of the Mind Flayer and that he made his own choices (Which is true: He DID have choices and the ability to reject the Mind Flayer, which we see in one scene when the Mind Flayer attacks Patty's father, and Henry intervenes on Patty's behalf to save him). Part of it may be that he's been under the hold of the Mind Flayer for so many years that, by the time El meets him, he's come to believe he and The Mind Flayer are one in the same.

Either way, regardless of what happened, there were a lot of elements stacked against Henry that makes me pity him: The Mind Flayer's influence, Brenner exploiting Henry's powers for his own selfish scientific desires instead of genuinely helping him, his parents trying to force Henry to be normal and shove down his issues instead of taking the time to deal with them..............the only positive thing Henry had going for him was his relationship with Patty. Her determination to see the good in Henry and his powers, and her belief that Henry could rise above the darkness gave some brief salvation for him. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to save him, and the darkness won in the end.

There is a slight change I was okay with: In the show, Henry mentions that he fell into a coma after killing his mother and sister. While that is true to some extent, he actually wakes up a few hours later and flees the house to go find Patty at the school. He encounters Joyce in the basement (after the power gets knocked out) and, in a scene that's both creepy and sad, he acknowledges that Joyce is a good person and warns her that the world will punish her for it while taking away everything she holds dear. There's a dark irony to his words considering he would later be responsible for the disappearance of her son, the death of Bob, and most of the problems Joyce would later deal with on the show.

Following his encounter with Joyce, Henry finds Patty on an elevated stage platform, and begs her to run away with him. She is basically his last hope at this point, and even that is taken away when Brenner manages to track him and Patty down. There's a whole "Good Angel/Bad Devil" exchange that occurs as Patty (the Angel) implores Henry to fight against The Mind Flayer while Brenner (the Devil) snarls that Henry is already a monster and he might as well accept it. All of this cultivates in Henry using his powers on Patty, having finally surrendered to the Mind Flayer's influence, and throwing her from the rafters, almost killing her. Henry passes out after this, and Brenner takes him back to Hawkins Lab, where he will spend the next 20 years as Brenner's prisoner. Patty manages to survive the fall and, thanks to information Henry gave her earlier, she's able to locate her biological mother in Las Vegas and reunite with her. The last act of redemption Henry would ever have.

These revelations help give context to the mythology of the show. They explain what motivated Dr. Brenner for so many years. They explain the Mind Flayer was well aware of this world, and that Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El opened the gate in 1983. They explain Henry already had troubling aspects to begin with, and that his encounter with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer only amplified those problems. They explain how and why Henry became disillusioned, nihilistic, and angry over the next 2 decades, and how he would project that onto his enemies once he became Vecna. They explain why Henry/One/Vecna takes an interest in certain characters on the show, from El (whose upbringing and struggles are similar to what Henry went through as a child) to Will (who shares similar traits with him as an outcast and a nerd) to even Billy (with both of them projecting their rage onto the world), and went as far as to target them. And, most importantly, it explains how Henry and other special kids like Kali and El got their powers.

This does raise interesting questions that I hope S5 will explore more of:

Since Will was kidnapped and taken to the Upside Down in S1, does this mean his blood type has been altered as well due to his exposure to the Mind Flayer? Does he now possess some kind of power similar to El that we haven't seen yet but might be unveiled in the last season?

And what about the Upside Down freezing in time in 1983? Considering the Upside Down remained consistent as a hellish environment (even after El banished Vecna to it in 1979), this gives the impression that what happened there was an anomaly. I still maintain Will's disappearance had something to do with the altered environment, and I have provided theories for it in my review of Stranger Things The Other Side, but it's still a question that remains unanswered by this play.

And then there's Patty: She does survive, and last we see of Patty is her reuniting with her biological mom, but it's also mentioned she disappeared and that Bob (her adopted brother) misses her and plays songs over his radio podcast in her memory. Did Bob ever find Patty following this, or did he die before that could happen? Does she even remember Bob or Henry, or did the fall (which injured her badly enough that she now walks with a cane) cause her retrograde amnesia? Is it possible S5 might bring her back, and she could have some role in reaching out to Henry/One/Vecna? Is she still alive at this point?

So many questions that I'm hoping S5 provides answers for.

Part 4: Themes

It's no coincidence that the play Joyce produces for the school holds parallels to the tragedy of Henry and Patty's relationship. The Dark of the Moon is a ballad about a "witch boy" named John who falls in love with a human girl named Barbara Allen. He is given a human form on the condition that she remains true to him. Through a series of tragic events (including the death of their child at the hands of religiously-crazed townsfolk), Barbara ends up betraying John, causing him to lose his humanity and become a part of the fog from the place he came from.

If we're drawing direct parallels, it's pretty obvious Henry is John, the "witch boy" embedded with special powers who falls for the human girl, Barbara/Patty. The difference is that the "humanity" of Henry is more metaphorical than literal: He attempts to not give into the monstrous influence of the Mind Flayer, and Patty recognizes this and is determined to help him through the love she gives him. However, the key difference is Patty isn't the one who betrays Henry. If anything, she remains a loyal friend and confidant to Henry (even AFTER Brenner tells her that Henry killed his mother and sister) and desperately tries to convey to Henry that she believes in him and that he can fight off The Mind Flayer. Unfortunately, that proves insufficient, and it's Henry who inflicts the final betrayal on Patty, destroying their relationship, and causing Henry to become prisoner of Dr. Brenner at Hawkins Lab. He is the "witch boy" who returned to where he came from.

It should be noted that the ballad this play is based on contains these final lyrics:

They laid poor Barbra by the old church gate,

With the wild, wild rose growin' nigh her,

And witch boy roamed the mountain high,

'Til mountain fog became him.

And then one morn, before the dawn,

The fog rolled down that mountain,

It came to rest nigh Barbara's rose,

and watered there a briar.

The rose and briar climbed the old church gate,

'Til they could grow no higher,

And there they tied in a true love's knot,

The rose wrapped 'round the briar.

And so a witch and human gal,

Had conquered death eternal,

And 'neath the darkness of the moon,

Their love's entwined forever.

Could this be foreshadowing that, as evil as Henry/One/Vecna has become, there is still a chance at redemption for him through Patty? That whatever love he held for her could bring back Henry's humanity and allow him to overcome the Mind Flayer one last time? They did a similar thing with Billy Hargrove in S3 (with the platonic love he had for his mother), and since love is one of the key forces that's been shown to repel the Mind Flayer, it could work again in Henry's favor if he chooses to take it.

However, a lot of this is tied to whether Henry is capable of remorse or empathy at this point, and considering what we've seen on the show, it's a safe bet to say whatever humanity he had left in him is now gone. I'm doubtful that even if Patty shows up in S5, it'll be enough to redeem Henry. There are some things you can't come back from, and regardless of the negative influences he was dealing with, Henry still had choices, and he chose to hurt others.

In a way, Henry's story reminds me of Coriolanus Snow's arc in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Despite the relationship he has with Lucy Gray Baird, it wasn't enough to cancel out his negative personality traits (narcissism, entitlement, etc) and whatever love he may have had for her isn't enough to redeem him, or prevent him from becoming the tyrant we all know and loathe by the events of The Hunger Games.

Another theme present was the exploration of the adult characters and how the personality traits they had when they were younger continued well into adulthood. It's been speculated before by various groups of people that, internally, there's a certain point where you stop growing mentally and remain the same age, and that definitely seems to be the case here with some characters. The problem is that while these qualities might have been excusable when they were teenagers, they become less appealing as time goes on:

Ted Wheeler, for example, is depicted in the play as a dumb jock who's clueless most of the time. Fast-forward to the 80s, and he's now an apathetic father who still remains clueless. Not only is this not cute anymore, it's frustrating to his wife and those around him.

Karen Wheeler is depicted in her teens as interested in her youth and beauty and dating Ted BECAUSE he's a hot jock. By the time she's an adult, she's still into that (though she does make more of an effort to be emotionally available to her kids unlike Ted) and her desire for youth and a passionate relationship almost leads her to sleeping with Billy despite the inappropriate age difference between the two. 🤮

Jim Hopper is a younger man with a fractured relationship with his abusive father, and a lot of his motivation is rooted in trying to stick it to his dad and prove that he isn't the loser his father thinks he is. It's why he takes an interest in the animal killings around Hawkins and conducts an investigation similar to how police would do it. It's also why he joins the Vietnam War later (as he would later tell Enzo/Dmitri in S4). Even later becoming the Chief of Police on the show likely has its roots in this. Years later, long after his dad is likely dead, he's still trying to prove him wrong.

Lonnie Byers is depicted as a douchebag who isn't really interested in making something of his life, who's coasting off other people, and really doesn't have any desire to improve himself. Come Season 1, and is it any surprised he's a deadbeat dad who's divorced from Joyce and still making shitty decisions down the line?

Same goes for Al Munson: The play depicts him as an improv actor who's deeply self-centered, who isn't as good as he thinks he is, and is someone who just annoys everyone around him with his antics. Anyone who's read Flight of Icarus knows he doesn't get any better as an adult, and it has completely wrecked his relationship with his brother Wayne and his son Eddie.

And then there's Dustin's father: "Asshole" is the best term I can use to describe him. He's very belittling and not well-liked (even among his peers), and it doesn't surprise me that Mrs. Henderson (who's also shown to be a cat-lover as a teenager) would eventually split with him and raised Dustin on her own.

There are a few positives though: Both Charles and Sue Sinclair come out of the play as decent people, and Sue is shown to be a loyal friend to Joyce, helping Joyce to get her play organized. I can see why they ended up together, and I maintain both Lucas and Erica are lucky to have them as parents.

The overall point is, like with Henry (who also never really grew up, and is now an angry kid trapped in the body of a 30-something adult), there is a theme that change is a process you have to work on. All of these characters (including Henry) have their own flaws they have to work through, and it is a choice about whether you put in the hard work of overcoming those flaws, or you surrender to them and let them dictate your life and stilt your growth. It's always an uphill battle, and it's never easy, but when the alternative is hurting the people around you, I would argue it's worth the effort for their sake.

Final Thoughts:

While there is some leeway between how events in the play can be interpreted, there is one tiny retcon that was hard to ignore: Henry's age. In the show, it's specifically mentioned in the newspaper article that Nancy and Robin look up that Henry was 12 when Virginia and Alice Creel were killed. However, this play retcons his age to being 14 years old. My guess is this was likely done so that Henry would be a freshman, and therefore able to attend Hawkins High School with Joyce, Hopper, Bob, and the other characters. While I don't mind this retcon for story purposes, it still sticks out like a sore thumb, and I wish the Duffer Brothers would take better care with details like that, especially after what happened in S4 with Will's birthday being forgotten.

There is a pamphlet for 10€ that they sell at the Phoenix Theater that gives more information about the play, its cast, and the central ideas behind the story. You can even see it in the picture above with the other memorabilia I collected (next to the t-shirts I bought). If you're going to see the play, I highly recommend purchasing it. It's worth the money.

Overall, this was a well-written play that I'm willing to accept as canon. I hope the events in this play are referenced in S5, and have a role in how the show's story unfolds. I highly recommend getting a ticket for anyone who is a Stranger Things fan! :)

[nerves-nebula]

Uh. Thought I'd try my hand at writing fics for you because I had this idea in class where the "good" and "bad" timeline Leos meet. It gets a little uhhhhhh intense. Hope you like it.

The Leonardo who let them go huffed furiously, keeping a white-knuckle grip on his beaten-up katanas. He'd been chasing her for a while now, claiming she was an "imposter" sent by some mystic foe.

The Leonardo who broke his brother's arm fought the urge to collapse. She smoothed back the skin of her skull with an aggravated groan. "Look, I'm just trying to get back home- alright? One of Don's expirements went wrong and-"

"Keep that traitor's name out of your fucking mouth," the other growled, raising a sword to point at him, "And stop acting like you're me."

She dragged a hand down her face. "Can you stop it with this whole 'macho hero man' shtick, already?" Was he really this annoying as a kid? No wonder her brothers hated him, "Yes, I am you- though, from the looks of it, this is the 'everything goes to shit' timeline. Like that one episode of Space Heroes where Captain Grant becomes a villain."

Then the feral idiot was running at him again. He groaned and dodged, as he'd come to do around this horrific version of herself. It seemed that in the other version's time with Splinter, he'd only managed to get sloppier as pent-up emotions took control over years of training and abuse. The one who broke her brother's arm, however, had been an unofficial defender of the Hidden City for quite the fucking while.

With a quick twist to the angry one's wrist and a knee into his plastron, he took one of his attacker's swords and sent her other self collapsing onto the ground.

She slowly pointed the stolen sword to his head. "Look, I just need you to tell me where Donnie is. Maybe he can send me home so I can never see your stupid, fugly face ever again."

The other Leonardo simply started to laugh. It didn't seem too insincere, if he was reading it right. Like he was laughing at a stupid pun or something.

Finally, Leonardo gave into the temptation that crawled into the corners of his mind and slammed a foot down on her counterpart's chest, knocking the wind out of him. "What is so fucking funny, here?" He growled.

"Whoever made you did a really bad job," The other slider purred in response, "I haven't seen that fucking coward in years. Besides, look at you-" He made a vague gesture toward her, "-As if I'd ever be such a fucking sissy to tie up my mask in a bow. What? Did your 'brothers' infect you? Did their fruitiness rub off on you after living with you for so long?" He cackled, "Guess I was always right about little Don and Raphie being fucking pansies after all!"

Something rose up inside him. A blaze of anger scorching through her brain. Digging up old feelings and arguments and- "Does Splinter still like the noises you make?"

The one who let them go went still at that, eyes wide and somewhat panicked. Deep down, she knew it would be wrong to keep pressing with this for her own sick self-indulgence.

"Do you still like it when he pulls your tail?" He needed to stop. This was wrong. Why was she doing this anyway?

The terrified look on his face was intoxicating. He was being put in his fucking place.

"Does it hurt your feewings that they left you alone with him?" He cooed, "Do you still think that daddy is the only one who'll ever understand you?"

"Shut up," The other hissed, panic evident in his voice, "You don't know what the hell you're even talking about."

"I know you had a box of dresses from April hidden under your bed when you were fifteen," She said with an evil grin, "I know that he beat the shit out of you when he found out. No trannies allowed here, no sirree."

"Stop it."

"I know he raped you in one of them. Told you if you wanted to be a girl so bad, he'd fucking treat you like one."

"Stop it."

"I know you couldn't leave him if you tried. No, you're too good a daddy's boy. It's not like anyone would take you in, anyway. We both know that there's no fucking hope for some shithead lowlife who can only take-"

"I SAID, STOP IT!!" He screeched, interrupting his rant.

The one who broke his brother's arm briefly came to her senses. There was something wet on her face, making his mask cling to her cheek uncomfortably. He looked down to his other self. The slider was crying, digging his palms around the rusted edge of his own sword in an attempt to push her back. He'd been so lost in it she'd barely noticed the resistance.

"You- You don't-" the abused man fumbled, "You don't know me! You're- You're just some stupid, defective clone making shit up to get a rise outta me!"

Leonardo took her foot off the other's chest and took a small step back. The spider's hands slid off the blade with a sharp shing. Clumps of blood and torn skin dripped onto his stomach. Too much blood. Too much blood too much blood too much

"Where does your Donnie live? Or... or do you at least know where he works?" He asked. It came out much quieter than he meant to, but he feared if he raised his voice it would crack.

"Big Mama," He breathed, "He works for Big Mama."

She gave a small nod and softly set down his counterpart's sword. The other Leonardo regarded him with great suspicion and lingering fear. "If- If I hear anything about him dying, I- I'll kill you."

Wouldn't be the first time she tried to kill herself.

She took a few steps toward the ledge and stayed there for a moment. He readjusted his things and sighed.

"It's easier for them to want to help you when you try to be nice," He gulped, "But uh... Don't treat them like Father. They get weirded out by that."

There was a clank and a shuffle from behind. He was going to try and attack him again, wasn't he?

"And uh... if you meet a rabbit guy that looks weirdly like the samurai from that old Usagi show," The noises behind him stopped for a moment, "Maybe don't bring up the toy."

wanted to make u some art about how much i liked this <<33 its 1 AM i am. so tired. anyway i really liked the line "do you still like it when he pulls your tail" its so fucked up. she honestly coulda stopped there, woulda had him foaming like a rabid dog.

[hero-israel]

Can i just say I am so sick and tired of people claiming genocide. I mean with saying Israel is committing genocide on Palestinians right now. Every time I see it I want to scream. This is one of the numerous reasons why the pro palestine movement sucks. They can't just say something is bad, focus on real grievances. Instead they have to exaggerate and claim everything is the worst possible version. They can't just say "palestinian civilians are suffering," or even "excessive civilian deaths." No. they have to claim genocide.

it’s disgusting. they are appropriating terms and watering them down in the process. genocide is a very real horrific problem that is ACTUALLY happening to people right now... and they have to claim that term for their situation because why? to paint israel/israelis as the ultimate evil? to claim this issue is the worst ever and insist everyone else drop everything and only care about this? to add more emphasis on their lies and propaganda of israel being a colonial empire practicing apartheid? intentional flipping because they know Jews have been victim to genocide (we see this more explicitly when they compare Israel in this war to nazis)?

Maybe part of it is that if israel is responsible for genocide, then there’s no need to acknowledge how HAMAS and their actions play a significant role in palestinian suffering? (It can't be that hamas steals aid for civilians, no it must be 100% israel’s fault and only theirs! Also joe Biden I guess! /sarcasm)

No matter what, it’s a cynical ploy and absolutely disgusting.

In some ways it reminds me of how people online have taken terms like “trigger,” “gaslight,” and more, and completely twisted and watered down their meaning, turned it all into a joke ... except obviously much worse, here.

what really grinds me up is seeing how many people are buying into this. especially gen z. I am so done with my generation honestly. im ashamed to be associated with these people. part of me doesn't get it. im not jewish. and i try my best not to be antisemitic, educate myself. it does take work, but also it’s NOT THAT HARD to just NOT post completely unverified stuff, NOT absorb your news from social media, NOT give accusations of genocide without doing any research, bothering to learn about historical context, actually understanding what experts say and explanations why it is not genocide? And most of all actually LISTEN to jewish people when they talk about their own history and heritage?

Im not saying this to say im so great, in fact it's the opposite: what im doing is nothing special and amazing. it's really BASIC. yet SO MANY PEOPLE fail this??? what the fuck????

I understand people cannot educate themselves on literally very single topic. But then if they are ignorant, then they should just SHUT UP and not weigh on something they didn't take the work to understand. That is not hard!!!! NOT casually throwing around accusations of genocide should be the bare minimum and yet here we are.

All of the above. I am sorry you are dealing with this from so many among your cohort, and deeply appreciate your commitment as a non-Jew to resisting the new Christ-killer / stab-in-the-back mythology. It will continue to be difficult. For decades - for CENTURIES - all the wealthiest and most educated people in societies worldwide "knew" the Jews were guilty of these terrible things.

Derek Chauvin was convicted of the second- and third-degree murder of George Floyd. There were people at that time who were upset he hadn't been nailed for first-degree murder - he was obviously guilty! Look what a horrible thing he did! Get him for everything! But there actually really are different standards of evidence for different crimes and if prosecutors had tried to go for that one they would have lost.

I don't doubt for an instant that the IDF has committed multiple war crimes during this entirely preventable, entirely pointless cataclysm. But people are racing past the crimes that are clearly visible and could be supported by evidence because they want - need - HOPE for the very worst one to be true. It is a moral obscenity. And you can tell how much they are enjoying themselves, how fine it feels to be able to invoke genocide against Jews and Uno-reverse that nagging Holocaust card, by how quickly they revert to petty Internet slang to silence counter-arguments: "lol WELL ACTUALLLYYY, so you're JUST ASKING QUESTIONS rite, nice SEALIONING." It is meant to be an inherently, automatically truthful claim, one that the Jew has no right to deny.

The Disputations of our time.

And as we did in the past... we must answer, because not-answering will not help.

[mamawasatesttube]

I’m back and I have another prompt: “Your heartbeat’s really loud.”

Red Mercy.

Red fucking Mercy.

Kon's been exposed to it once before, so tonight makes a fabulous grand total of twice in his life, and both times? It has fucking sucked. He's not sure literally anything has ever sucked as much as the soul-rending, horrible, awful emptiness of those hallucinations, and yes, that list very much includes literally fucking dying.

He and Kara took care of the ship carrying the damn plants way before it made it into Earth's atmosphere, but he's still feeling jittery and on-edge. Right now, he just... he really wants some comfort, okay? He just... he just wants someone who makes things feel okay. Who makes him feel safe.

He just wants Tim.

Which is why he's here, TTKing open the fancy Bat-locks on Tim's penthouse apartment window so he can slip inside. Tim isn't in his room, and none of the lights in the kitchen or living area are on, and for an instant sheer terror slams through Kon's gut, but he smothers it as best he can. Tim's heartbeat is strong and steady, mixed with the white noise of falling water—oh.

Oh. He's just taking a shower. Probably just got back in from patrol. Now Kon feels kind of stupid for panicking.

But the remnants of that stupid awful horrific nightmare still tug painfully on the edges of his vision; he can still all but smell Tim's charred flesh, can hear the frantic, rapid flutters of his heart beating its last as blood gushed from the wound Kon himself inflicted—he didn't mean to he didn't want to he's never wanted to—and panic still rises too easily.

He just—he just needs to hear Tim's voice. Needs to see him and reassure himself he's okay, that it wasn't real. Needs a hug. Really, really needs a hug.

Kon opens the bathroom door—

—and immediately has to dodge the shampoo bottle that whizzes past his head, colliding with the hallway wall with a thunk. "Hey!"

"What the fuck?!" Tim's sopping-wet head peers around the edge of the curtain, eyes narrowed, hair plastered to the side of his head. He's holding another bottle at the ready, but lowers it in bewilderment when he sees who's there. "Kon?"

Kon twists around to glance at the bottle on the floor, then back at Tim, incredulous. "Did you just throw my shampoo bottle? Dude, mine's the good stuff! Why didn't you use yours as a weapon first?"

"It was the second-heaviest one," Tim answers immediately, then frowns. "Wait. Back up a minute. Why are you in my bathroom, interrupting my shower?"

Well, you see, I got real fucked up by a fucked-up and evil plant, and now I really want a hug? seems like a stupid explanation now that Kon's here. Then again, Tim's from Gotham. He's definitely heard worse.

But god, fuck, it's really good to see him acting normal. To hear his voice, dry and acerbic but warm like it always is when he talks to Kon. Not screaming. Not...

"Um," Kon says, and shrugs a little, helpless. "I, uh..."

Tim narrows his eyes further. He sets down the conditioner in his hand and points at Kon. "Okay. Wait for, like, two minutes, and let me put on some pants. Then we'll talk."

Kon nods numbly. He retreats to Tim's bedroom and perches on the side of his bed, biting his lip.

One-hundred-and-seven seconds later, Tim slips out of the bathroom. His hair is spiky and wet, like he just furiously rubbed it with a towel for about ten of those seconds before he gave up; he's wearing both pants and an old T-shirt, like some kind of overachiever. Kon gazes at him and drinks him in, drinks him in, drinks him in, and wonders if this is how a parched man in the desert feels upon finding an oasis.

"Hey," Tim says gently. He moves closer on silent feet, until he's standing between Kon's knees, and Kon slumps into his arms.

Tim folds him into a fierce hug, resting his chin atop Kon's head. Kon sucks in a shaky breath and swallows hard against the lump rising in his throat; it takes him a moment to bring his arms up around Tim, too, because—because he has too much strength, and he—the last thing he'd ever want to do is hurt him, but—

But he can hear Tim's heartbeat, strong and steady and slow. Relaxed. Not choking out its last desperate gasps, trying to push blood through a body bleeding out. Safe. Whole. Hale.

"Your heartbeat's really loud," he mumbles. His fingers curl desperately into the fabric of Tim's shirt.

"You have superhearing and are laying against my chest," Tim points out. Kon can hear the smile in his voice, tempered by concern. "...Do you wanna talk about it?"

Kon bites his lip again. "...Maybe later." He lets himself hold Tim a teensy bit tighter. Just a little. "Can you... Just, y'know. Hold me a bit?"

Tim's lips brush the top of his head. "Of course," he murmurs, and Kon closes his eyes, content to listen to his heart.

[amitytaylor]

I truly think the writing of MHA is superior. Full stop.

But why do i think so? Let’s get into a part of it. The bubbly atmosphere that hides the “ugly/evil/dark” and just how twisted this story truly is.

Let’s start with the doctor.

the fact that the doctor Garaki (a play on the name Shigaraki that was originally AFOs) says this

we see in Dabis flashbacks that they had MULTIPLE children they were grooming to be AFO heir.

Think about that again : the demon lord, a man who can live twice as long as another man (due to Garakis quirk) had this DOCTOR(who we know of as being a pediatrician bc of Izuku) KIDNAP CHILDREN AND HOLD THEM HOSTAGE TO CAPATALIZE ON THEIR TRAUMAS AND TURN THEM INTO A HOST BODY FOR AFO. They had a whole ass hide out where multiple children lived and were told to make it their own home. They didn’t even have names! CHILDREN!!!

That in an of itself, in reality in the modern world, is HORRIFIC! Imagine if today we learned that a pediatrician was kidnapping, grooming, and holding these children to make them “child soldiers” basically or an even better way to put it is toys for the powerful to do with as they please. WHAT THE FUCKING EVIL INCARNATE RIGHT?

NOW! think back to the two children that followed baby bakugo around and the wing quirk that was stolen. While simultaneously thinking about Kurogiri and the fact that Garaki was actually “hoping to get his hands on erasure” - so how did they get their hands on Kurogiri original body? Did they set up a situation where they knew one of the UA children who get hurt/killed and then waited to take advantage of the deceased?

I mean if we think about it, Giraki is quite literally ravaging these children’s bodies. VIOLATION ON EVERH LEVEL. and for what? for AFO? to get hands on quirks? for one person?

How far do you think they were willing to go to create the Nomu? If they are willing to use deceased children’s bodies who’s to say they hadn’t use live children’s bodies? ESPECIALLY BEFORE AFO WAS CAUGHT. WE SAW THEY USED LIVING ADULTS BEFORE?! is it that far of a stretch for them to try it on children? absolutely not.

MHA is dynamic. It’s about hope and friendship and love and family trauma and societal trauma and it’s also the most vile shit i’ve ever read. The way Bones studio portrays a bright blue sky is both irritating when not following the manga but also a HUGE FUCKING POINT! BECAUSE - we have all these amazing things we see, hero’s, quirks, friendship, family love, all the typical shonen stuff. That to me is the bright blue sky. WHILE COMPLETELY OVERRUNING THE FACT THAT ITS ALL BUILT ON BLOOD.

We know the big theme between Deku and Tenko is about the shit that’s pushed under the rug to make society livable for 75% of the population while 25% is left to suffer. (% is probably off). but if you really take a look at this theme and follow it along the path of the manga it’s TERRIFYING.

As a person who lives in the USA where our country is quite literally based in the suffering of the many for the luxury of the few it is CHILLING TO SAY THE LEAST.

NOT TO MENTION THAT AFO (if my theory he gave Tenko the quirk is correct) PREYED ON THE MOST VULNERABLE GROUP OF PEOPLE - THE QUIRKLESS AND CHILDREN

Izuku, Aoyama, and Tenko were all quirkless.

The writing makes it seem like it all just happened, but it didn’t. AFO meticulously planned every step out like he’s mentioned before but to AN UNNERVING ASS DEGREE BRO.

All For One needed a persons body who could still FEEL THINGS. BECAUSE HE CANT ANYMORE. or could ever? He has no real will of his own or real emotions or feelings. he is the true embodiment of “psychopath” (outdated term but helps to paint the picture)

I wouldn’t even think it’s a stretch to believe that AFO played a role in Kotaro abusing Tenko with what we just saw in the latest chapter. I mean they were like best friends? and it’s confirmed afo is the same person who dropped tenko off at home.

The sinister feeling of this manga as we continue to go forth is incredulous.

I didn’t even TOUCH ON the Dabi and AFO issue. I mean, how did he know Toya was on that peak? How did he know he would be there thst day? How did he know he would likely burn himself alive? How did he know about the abuse going on within the Todoroki family?

FUCK MY BRAIN THE CONNECTIONS ITS EVERYWHERE 😭

[morgana-ren]

There's this youtube video titled "Tav softly breaks up with evil Astarion" and it's driving me crazy. They fight, he tries to make up but even then says he would have "ruined your love, used your trust until you were nothing." How can anyone hear something like that and not go bonkers honestly

I looked for the video but I couldn't find it-- that being said, I actually did read something about that earlier somewhere (can't remember where) where he says that.

I think ascended Astarion is obviously incapable of love as we know it. When you really get down to the grit of it, possession is not love. Control is not love. Demanding someone stay by your side or else is not love. While these things are fun kink and fiction wise, they are massive red flags in real relationships.

I think that Astarion loves Tav in the only way that they are capable of loving them: By owning, possessing, controlling, and being obsessed with them-- and that is very obviously not love. It's a draining, horrific exchange where one partner gets everything and one gets nothing, and yes, it does use your love and trust until you are nothing. I speak from unfortunate experience.

I do believe that he loved her before he ascended, but what emerged from the other side was warped by the experience of being ascended. Instead of seeing a partner, he sees property that he is obsessed with and 'loves' in the way of that obsession.

Being in a relationship is equal, and ascended Astarion has made it clear that it will never be an equal partnership. He will always have the final say; the last laugh; the ultimate word. What Astarion wants, he gets, no matter what anyone, including his romantic partner, has to say about it. He was so petrified by his fear of vulnerability and loss that he turned it to stone when he ascended: He'll never feel those feelings again, but he'll never confront or heal from them either. Real love is vulnerability, and Astarion has made himself incapable of it. Again, showcased when trying to break up with him in the final scene. He just flat out says no. Not happening. You don't get to leave. You are mine.

Astarion loves Tav in their own way as much as they can... but it's not enough. It's twisted into some wretched perversion or mockery of it. A smart Tav would escape--

--and still be tracked down to the ends of Toril by her eternal vampire 'mate.'

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 17 thoughts

i enjoyed this episode and was deeply excited for my nightly scully and mulder time. these two factors led to me taking a lot of notes tonight, even by my standards!

the first thing i wrote was "okay i read the synopsis... are they going to get CANCELLED" (thankfully this did not happen!)

the title screen reading "present day" did not predict me watching this in 2024 but i love to prove ppl wrong!!

the trucker pulled his shotgun out and fired at a spaceship which was a bold move. we need to praise him for his courage if nothing else.

then our intrepid heroes jump to tennessee!! and mulder unpacks all his little gadgets to check for aliens... aww it's endearing to me

in the interrogation room they were talking to the trucker and this man really WAS lounging about in a whorish manner like that famous post said!!!!! i was shocked!!! no decorum, not even at an interrogation!!

okay they're talking about "gulf war syndrome". i need to look something up real quick -> good lord i thought they made that up for the show but it's real and that is horrific. wow. that will be the next research rabbit hole i dive down.

(she opens her mouth to say something) (he holds his finger up) "not-not here" argument SUCCESSFULLY POSTPONED!

some background character asked scully for a pen and she gave it to her and i KNEW it was a sneaky trick... my guess was that she was going to use her fingerprints for something but in actuality it had a tracking device in there!!!!

THEY TOOK A BUS!!! new mode of transportation unlocked for our duo!!!!!!! you can tell this is fiction because it involves the US having functional public transport!!!!

mulder takes scully to his latest collection of freaks and conspirators. he says that barney is the world's most evil agent which once again raises the question: what did barney do to deserve all this?

one of the ufo nerds says "she's hot" right in front of scully which she graciously ignores. but then she says the us government is incompetent and the guy says "she IS hot" louder this time and mulder tells him to SETTLE DOWN!!!! he said that is my FRIEND and you will be RESPECTFUL!!!

(scully gives her $20 bill to a strange man) (he rips it up) she says, in the most indignant scully voice you have ever heard, heyyyy >:(

she says those guys were the weirdest people with the most outlandish theories she had ever met and mulder responds with "you think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot?"

(A STUNNED SILENCE FILLS THE ROOM. MANY WANT TO KNOW WHY HE SAID THIS AND NO ANSWERS HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED. HELLO???? WHAT WAS THE LOGIC HERE???? is he flirting. is this is twisted humor. scully, once again, GRACIOUSLY says nothing)

she's all mad at how self important those guys were being- "they probably think they're being tracked wherever they go!" (cut to tracking device in pen reveal) oh these silly geese!!!!!!!

mulder at home reveal!!! we haven't gotten much of this before. he promptly fell asleep on his couch lmao what a guy.

a deep throat return!!! he hands mulder a package from under his coat like they do in all the good spy media!!! shoutout to that weird old man!!

scully thinks it's weird that mulder is trusting some guy and says a line that will certainly haunt me forever: "mulder, you're the only one i trust" "then you're gonna have to trust me" (immediately proceeds to get betrayed by trusting that guy. lol. lmao, even)

he says they'll meet up at her place and reassures her with a shoulder grab and lean in that was entirely unnecessary but it brought me great pleasure

scully uses her sleuthing skills (eyeballs) to realize the alien photo deep throat gave them is very fake. she is a detective!!! but he is very angry that she won't go with him to chase this new lead!

(wait i wrote all of this next part down i loved it so much)

"i have never met anyone so passionate and dedicated to a belief as you. it's so intense, sometimes it's blinding. but there are others who are watching you, who know what i know, and whereas i can respect and admire your passion, they will use it against you. mulder, the truth is out there, but so are lies." <- banger monologue that really pissed off the man it was directed towards (even though she said she admires him!!!!!!)

when he realizes the photo is indeed a fake, he menacingly leans in towards scully and says "we're alone on this one. there's no one we can trust" and yeah it was scary but i was looking at scully's freckles. sorry (it WILL happen again)

mulder meets deep throat in an aquarium!!!! need to see him in an aquarium for recreational purposes. get him a little shark keychain in the gift shop.

but now he's MAD at deep throat for lying to him and denying the world the truth: that aliens exist! shh keep your voice down you might scare the sharks!!

deep throat says "a lie is most convincingly hidden between two truths" to which i wrote, "ooo good line"

deep throat knows mulder is being listened to electronically which made me think that if i knew i was being wiretapped, i would blast the most insufferable hyperpop i know over and over again. hello welcome to the 10 hour 100 gecs livestream in my living room, feds. i give you 20 minutes tops before you give up.

(cutscene to mulder ripping apart all of his furniture in his apartment) <- me when i get that Cleaning Urge at 3 am

ohhh the little finger hand signal means someone is listening to us !!! the intimacy of being able to communicate with someone with just a motion!

scully hails a cab which is so nostalgic for me, because i have never hailed a cab in my life and only see it happen in tv shows or movies. now we just call an uber which is like kinda the same thing but taxis popped off with the bright yellow design. sad i've never experienced that.

sometimes while i'm watching the show it will randomly go to like vhs level quality and it did that here while scully was buying a plane ticket lol

next thing i wrote was "there are only 15 minutes left they are NOT gonna solve this one boys"

mulder fell asleep in the car with his mouth wide open... that is my cringefail loser princess

the alien got away! (jk it was a trap... but i was momentarily happy for the alien)

scully was scared by this turn of events! "god mulder, i can't stop shaking"... oh, an episode 1 parallel?? (she still gets scared by these things!!! just not often!!! which makes it more impactful when it happens!!)

then they crashed a random party in the woods which i can only imagine is very good for your health, especially if its a ufo welcoming party

they very briefly got aliases to break into the government facility and i LOVE a good alias but it didn't really go anywhere. sad!

a guard is stalking them breaking into a place they Should Not Be and scully gives up and turns herself in, but mulder makes a break for it!!! "oh this isn't gonna end well," i wrote, "why does he keep doing this?"

but we meet DEEP THROAT at the scene!!! who reveals that post ww2 there was an ULTRA SECRET WORLD POWER conference during which they agreed to kill any aliens that landed on earth and that HE was one of the 3 people on earth to kill an alien!! which he did when one crashed in vietnam...

and that the innocence on the alien's face still haunts him, which is why he helps mulder out, to give him a chance to atone for his sins... a LOT to unpack there

mulder says he is trying to figure out which of these things he said is a lie and my money is on the super-secret conference. you think people had nukes but drew the lines at aliens being a safety threat to bring them all together? bffr.

but there is no resolution as to if mulder is mad at scully for throwing them under the bus as the episode ends! they just watch deep throat fade into the distance together which hopefully means it's water under the bridge.

overall i really liked this episode! it was fast-paced, involved a roadtrip, had the leads both fighting and comforting each other, confessions of admiration, secret hand signals, an aquarium, a peek into mulder's living space, him calling up some weird guys he knows... what more could you really want?

[aleksanderscult]

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (Graphic Novel) - Part 1

(Part 2, Part 3)

First of all, analyzing is a bit over the top because in each picture I'm mostly fangirling than analyzing. This Graphic Novel had us all on the floor with him.

Second, I hope the quality of these pictures will look good. I took them from my phone so my hopes are not high😀.

This will be three parts.

Let's go!

Grisha really didn't stand a chance on how twisted and horrific their existence would seem to otkazat'sya. They're seen as monsters that kill without provocation and hold unnatural powers that they use only for evil purposes.

Being born a Grisha felt like a curse. Condemned to a life of isolation and superstitions that would always surround you.

Are you sure about that?

Generations and generations of lies and fear had produced only more individuals with a desire to hunt Grisha down. It probably felt like a badge of honor to do this job. To kill the people that their "stories" frightened them so much as children.

I actually looove that comparison.

In the beginning, we see otkazat'sya being afraid of the Grisha and their powers. And now we see Grisha being wary that otkazat'sya are around. Both of them fearing each other's presence.

“And what's my name?”

“Madraya 😄😊”

HE'S SO CUTE 😭

He's having a little innocent moment and jokes about it.

But Baghra doesn't even let him have THAT.

A++ parenting from Baghra 👏👏

Congratulations! You succeeded in making him feel depressed 🏆

And just like I've said in the past, the Darkling's "I will strip away all that you know. All that you love. Until you have no shelter but me" is Baghra's "You'll have no one but me" technique that had rubbed off him and he copy pasted it on his relationship with Alina.

He's so embarrassed for the fact that he's afraid of the dark. And he wants to be brave with it 🥹

Somebody hug him please!! 😭😭

There's just something about a Shadow Summoner being afraid of the dark that it's so 🥺👉👈

*fast forwarding hundred years later when he found a person who had the power to cast away that fear*

*cries*

And the way he hurls beneath his blanket 😭

Have you noticed that he doesn't seem happy in any of those faces? Having a false identity for every place he visits and staying hidden, afraid of touching or being close to someone since he could remember himself.

The way he's so mesmerized by the trees around him. Nature makes him so happy!

And Baghra just distracts him from it.

Why is she scolding him for being happy??

Just let him be happy for something. Jesus.

He's only thirteen and he already knows three languages. And then we have Baghra not being satisfied with it. The amount of pressure and responsibility she placed upon him so soon was so great.

Most of the time I just despise Baghra but these scenes make me feel sympathy for her. She wasn't only being scorned for her unusual powers but also for her sex. Being a woman didn't earn her the respect she wanted so she had to become fierce and tough for them to take her seriously.

(Notice how Baghra says "Honesty is always best". The Darkling always wanted honesty from others. Did he take that from his mother as well?)

Look how happy he got once he found out he'll probably see some wild animals!😍

(he eventually got to see those tigers btw🥺)

Completely unrelated with the story but Baghra was so beautiful in her youth! No wonder Aleksander came out so handsome too.

[notoriouslynoone]

HEAR ME OUT-

I have come from the abyss to make a proposition.

We all know the ikemen series can get admittedly a little interchangeable with some of the thems and characters. Not that there all the same by any means, but you could most definitely switch up the cast without sacrificing too much plot, or atmosphere. So, a little worm crawled in brain a while back and refuses to die so...I guess I'll pass it along....

You might've seen the Villains/Prince card gotcha colab they did a month or more ago with Jude and Liam. It was relatively well received, yet I'm servierly disappointed this concept hasn't been played around with much in the respective fandoms.

So, since Cybird gave us some princely villains, I've come armed and prepared with the alternative.

"But the princes are all to sweet to become villains!" you cry.

Oh, ho, ho~ How wrong you would be.

The curses of the Crown members actually correspond with the personalities of the Rhodolite princes quiet nicely and we must remember that they fundamentally change how one naturally goes about their life. It's an entirely different mental strain that I think in the cases such as Leon's (whose self righteousness is glorified in its own right) could bring out some juicey aspects of their character we wouldn't otherwise see. (Honestly Leon was too perfect, I kept wondering when he was gonna go savage, nope...never did. I really want him to go all William on some evil...if that makes any sense.) Not to mention we'd go from the "we care because we're family" group dynamic, to the "well, shit i guess we're sorta family" dynamic. (Chevalier and Clavis being begrudging childhood friends working as business partners? Yes please!)

So we got (as I see it)-

A monarch-Leon

Fox- Nokto

Mirror- Clavis

Fairy- Chevalier

Huntsman- Jin

Throns- Luke

Sariel fulfills the role of the tall, dark, and dominating leader. (Not that Victor is...wait, nope, wedding event. Epilog)

The only issue I had was with Yves and Licht. They just don't fit, right? I mean honestly-oh, wait....

These curses change their holders more than any of the others. Really-would Elbert be a normally traumatized dude without his obsession with beauty? And Liam...

Well, that something else completely- but back to Yves.

My conflict regarding him came from the initial comparison I made between him and Liam. They’re nearly opposites when you think about it, or at least not the neat squeeze the others were logically beyond them both being cat-coded, until...

The fits.

This curse is particularly sinister due to them and it was when I began to think of the fits it all came together, ish...it's not like I've really flushed it out or anything.

Yves can't kill.

It's a horrific embarrassment for him as a member of the queen's secret army, of course, one the others make do to point out early in Emma's stay as fairytale keeper.

"We know how to cover eyes, just fine. Don't we Yves-ie boy?"

He grunts, pout twisting into a snarl. "I've never closed my eyes! I can stand it all just fine, thank you! I just like to have a little control over myself, unlike some people!"

"Aw, but what's the fun in that? Don't you ever want a taste of the 'darkness'," Calvis snickered, fingers quoting the air.

"I taste enough as it is, thank you."

"So you really haven't..killed? Her guts lurched, rejecting the abnormality of the sentence.

"What-of course I've killed! I'm apart of Crown! You saw us murder a man, remember?"

"It was mostly Leon," Licht flatly chimed.

Yves shot him a glare full of daggers. "The point is that I have-"

"Not on purpose." The room stopped, turning toward Nokto and his silver smirk. "It's why you joined, isn’t it? How’s it going by the way? Any trouble with the fits?"

Not everyone is rude about it. Actually, there's an overwhelming amount of support working in the background. They give him important, granted safe, missions that allow him to explore and exploit his curiosity without fear of cracking under the weight of it. Our princey boys would be a lot more resistant to their curses than our villain babes. In Yves case, he is so repressive he lives in fear of zooting out everyday for a whole different reason than Liam.

Liam's fits are connected to anxiety, grief, depression, guilt...

Well for Yves it's fear primarily. Don't get me wrong, there's self-loathing in there, but it's almost like a defense. So, due to events of the past that would be drawn out over the course of 18 chapters, he is terrified to kill, yet has and certainly will, but avoids doing so at all costs. (Which some of the others secretly respect him for. )

He takes it upon himself to survey Emma as fairytale keeper-to ensure her competence, NOT because the situation sucks and she must be so scared and everyone’s so scary-

Then of course it becomes exclusive, because he's safe and the missions are easy...

Until it's not.

He wants a challenge, something really plump to sink his teeth into. (Emma has really done a number on his confidence at this point.) They give it to him and it goes well, that is until one of the left over thugs, (which ever one tried to have a monolog, you know) grabs Emma when he's distracted. The situation turns, some of the dudes are up. They rough him around, threaten her, that sorta thing, then one pushes him down.

"You might as well go home kitty, you can't do shit to us."

He gets up, hand grazing the touch of metal at his side. It slips from its leather bed. He approaches the bastard tormenting Emma and plunges his knife between his neck and spine. One guy tries to get him by the shoulders; he turns and stabs him in the gut. The rest back away, he steps forward, both hands clinging to the now dripping blade-

And lunges.

Emma doesn't even have time to breathe.

(Does it look like Yves? Probably not, but for a 15 minute 2am pen-sketch it's okay. It's actually what inspired me to write this whole thing.)

He twirls around to face her, so, so happy and it takes everything not to scream. She smiles instead, moving towards his open arms, her own broadly spread.

"You did it!" Her body collapses against him, trembling. "That man, he-I...thank you."

Something dark passed through his gaze, then sank into the crook of her neck. "You're welcome..."

So yeah that's what I got. Cool, ay? Come on, it'd be fun....

Still unsure abut Licht, kinda feel like you might have to make up a curse for him. Big bad wolf or something...more or less to match Nokto. They are twins after all.

Welp thanks for reading if did!

Peace~

[thegreymoon]

Every once in awhile I’m reminded that Shi Mei exist and that I hate him :) like dude had his reasons but 🤷🏻‍♀️ I simply do not care about him at all 🙅🏻‍♀️ he went way past the line of things that I’m willing to forgive with Mo Ran (Who is my favorite baby) and he doesn’t even accept that he’s responsible for all the bullshit that happened in the first world, and is like kind of blaming Mo Ran? And that enrages me so much :)

I mean, I have stanned plenty of villains in my day and yes, as a villain, Shi Mei is very well conceived, but I just don't like him, nor do I find him appealing as a character. While, yeah, his grand plan was horrific, I can get behind wanting to kill your oppressors so that your own people can live well, especially when massive trauma twists any ethics and morals you might have. But I find him so slimy as a person. CWN did everything right by him and Shi Mei supposedly "loved" him, yet his plan to repay him was to rape and mind control him and turn him into a weapon of mass destruction. He directly led to the deaths of XZY and Madam Wang, who also did right by him. What he did end up doing to Mo Ran is so horrific. I love that Mo Ran ended up being one of his own, to drive home the point of just how wrong he was extra hard. I wish Hua Binan had known and I hate that he got to die still feeling self-righteous about his actions. The special cherry on top of it all was his "but it was TXJ who killed them, why are you angry with meeee???" 🙄🙄 At least Shi Mei 2.0 gets to suffer with the full knowledge of what they did for the both of them. And, yeah, I know many people see Shi Mei 2.0 as the less evil and less responsible one (I don't, but that is beside the point), but even so, if he is to find repentance, he must know the full magnitude of what he has done and suffer under its weight.

One thing I love about 2ha is that repentance does not automatically mean forgiveness or absolution. A great example for this is Huaizui. Yeah, he repented, yeah, he tried to make amends, and yeah, in the end he even started to make amends selflessly. But he never got absolution either from Chu Xun or Chu Wanning and his soul was still doomed at the end of it.

I very much believe that victims have the right not to forgive the people who abused them and furthermore, that the expectation of it shouldn't be there to begin with. I don't think either Mo Ran or CWN will forgive Shi Mei simply because he hurt not only them, but the people they loved the most in the most horrific ways. Will he be able to repent and find peace on his own? Maybe, but I honestly don't care care what happens to Shi Mei in the end. If he is able to repent and save his soul? Good. If he is not? That is also good.

[merakiui]

oh my god… i just read ‘the most dangerous game’ on ao3 and while i was at the part of where jade pretends to be floyd while they… ya know 🥴

i was listening to phantom of the opera’s ‘medley : down once more / and track down this murderer’. and i just wanna you to know the heavenly experience i had cause OH MY LAWD

(~5:35 in the song, which is the duet/ trio between the phantom, raoul [love interest] and christine [main girl] )

and i LOVE how beautifully it connects. with reader’s confusion about their sudden flooding thoughts of jade. why they keep thinking about him even though they’re WITH floyd

while jade is going to the ‘point of no return,’ he literally cant go back. hes pretending to be his brother to 1. plant more jade shaped seeds in their head & 2. HES LITERALLY FUCKING THEM AS HIS BROTHER WHO HE KNOWS THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON. so yeah: he’s literally crossing the ‘point of no return,’ and he knows that. that this will either work out, or horrifically blow up in his face. but that’s only if you found out ☝️😲

my favorite part is that when christine sings about the ‘angel of music.’ the man [phantom] who was there in the shadows supporting her, yearning for her, loving her obsessively to the point it scared her (jade was much more discreet but that’s not the point)

a bit later in the song she sings ‘angel of music you have deceived me’ and i LOVE how it timed up when i read it. and she goes about how ‘she gave her mind blindly’

cause that’s EXACTLY what happened. jade played and deceived reader like she was a piece on a chess board. she literally let him into her mind because she wanted floyd so badly. he literally took over her mind as her thoughts slowly started contain less floyd and more of jade.

also, in the way he deceived her; jade never was going to help them with floyd, and made that ‘contract’ under false pretenses cause this was him making his attack. (ambush hunter, and you know that man was cooking shit up for months too, maybe it got sped up when reader wanted a job at monstro)

(this song also came again when reader and jade were in the ocean 🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻 and ARGGHHH. i’m gonna lose my sanity im in love)

but also. the song before this is literally ‘the point of no return’ and reader the floyd part while listening to it was just spine chilling. but the icing on the cake for me was the medley 🤤

sorry for the long ask, but i just- i’m literally in love with your writing, the planning that goes into is just awe-inspiring. i love how you give us readers things at face value before revealing smthn HUGE but if you go back and reread you’re like ‘how the FUCK did i miss that’, or when everything gets packaged in a nice little bow (so coquette 🤭🎀)

any ways, just wanted to share this with you! keep up the great work‼️ (i’m foaming at the mouth for more jade)

:O :O :O :O !!!!!!!! AAAAAA THAT SONG AND THOSE MOMENTS FROM IT CONNECT SO PERFECTLY..... "plant more Jade-shaped seeds" omg that's so true. >_< he really did surpass the point of no return in that scene just to ensure you slowly but surely thought less of Floyd and more of him throughout the time you spend together. It was so high-stakes, too. Either it works wonderfully or, as you noted, it completely blows up in his face.

And you're right!!! Jade was never going to help you get closer with Floyd. He was willing to entertain and enable your obsession, but that's as much as he'll do. He's just in it for his own benefits and to hopefully twist your perception so that you might fall for him instead. He really was cooking that plan up months in advance. T^T what an evil eel... I love the Phantom of the Opera and its soundtrack,, <3 your ask reminded me of just how brilliant it is!!!! I need to listen to all of the songs again. >w<

Thank you for reading and enjoying tmdg!!!!! I'm happy you like the way I write. One of my favorite things to do is write scenes in which you can glean new information after a reread. >:D there are so many tiny details sewn into tmdg and topped off with a pretty bow!! Very coquette indeed!!!! (˘ ˘ ˘)💖