#what even…i’m killing myself LMAOOO

[lottiies]

just wasted 3 minutes of my life watching the stupidest fucking tik tok

[thehighladywrites]

ACOTAR MEN X READER, SITTING ON THEIR LAP

✩ summary: different scenarios where you find yourself sitting on them

✩ warnings: nsfw, 18+, mentions of sex, mentions of self-doubt, kissing, begging, gossiping, fluff, smut, crack, fun times and soft Eris😭💗

✩ amara’s note: the original cassian hc was so long that i had to stop myself bc i was thirsting and it turned into a regular oneshot lmaooo😭 anyways enjoy babes!!!!💗💗💗

reblogs are really appreciated! :D

RHYSAND

No matter how angry you and Rhys get or how petty the fight is, you two always end up holding hands, even while yelling at each other.

Sitting in his lap while you two argue about random, non important stuff is a standard

You guys just don’t do the whole “no touching” thing

Today, the argument was over who cooks better, both of you bickering pettily.

“Listen, I love you a lot, but the kitchen isn’t your best friend. It's crazy how you can burn an empty pot.”

“Maybe you’re crazy,” you retort, arms crossed over your chest as you step closer to him, leaning against his desk in his office.

He keeps arguing with you, going back and forth, while pushing his chair back from the desk to make room for you.

“Whatever, Rhys. I don’t even need to cook when I can summon anything. It’s stupid, and you’re being unfair,” you mutter as you put your hands on his shoulders and plop down in his lap, subconsciously warming at the way he holds your waist and places one hand on your back to keep you steady.

He suppresses a smile, scratching the back of his head as he looks up at your pouting self. “You’re absolutely right, sweetheart. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course, you’re an amazing chef,” he concedes, his tone laced with affection.

“Awww, come with me while I make you something,” you say, flashing him an oblivious smile.

“Oh! Um, you sure we shouldn't order something or..?” he asks nervously, his voice getting higher as he kisses you.

You slip out of his lap and hurry downstairs to plan his meal, assuring him not to worry about ordering anything and to just come down for his favorite meal.

“Dear Gods,” he whispers as he gets up, a mix of worry and fear in his voice.

ERIS

Eris had been stressed out for a few weeks now. Nothing you said seemed to make a difference.

He was dealing with his father’s death, ruling a new court as the heir, and inheriting the High Lord powers. Your heart ached for him. You wanted to be there for him, giving him hugs and words of encouragement, but you were not on that level yet

Today had been the most stressful day yet, resulting in him shutting down and locking himself up in his bedroom.

“Eris, are you okay? Can I please come in?” you knock gently on the wooden door, voice hushed and gentle.

After a few moments of silence, you hear him shuffling behind the door until he opens it very slightly.

He is shirtless, only in a pair of pants. You manage to catch a glimpse of his tired, amber eyes before he turns around to lie in his bed.

The room looks clinically clean, the only disturbance being Eris’s rugged appearance.

Without saying a word, you walk over to him and give him a hug. It’s a long, warm hug that tells him everything he doesn’t allow himself to hear: you’re there for him.

It takes a few moments for him to hug you back, but when he does, he wraps his arms tightly around your waist, bringing you into his lap.

Only after an hour of silence does he speak

“I feel like i’m stuck. These powers are killing me, the board is fucking annoying, the folk believe i’m wicked and cruel and i have no idea what to do about anything.”

He looks up at you with desperate eyes, “Do you believe I’m truly wicked?”

You shake your head in honesty. “No, honey. I have not met anyone as smart, kindhearted and brave as you. Others do not know you like I do but they should,” you whisper, hands going through his tussled hair. “You’ve been hiding behind your mask for too long, Eris. Let people see the real you.”

The room goes quiet, the only sound being the beating of your hearts.

Slowly his lips meet yours in a new and experimental kiss. He stares up at you with his pupils blown but before you can apologize and get off his lap, he kisses you again and locks his arm around you

“Thank you,” he whispers between heating kisses, “Thank you, beautiful.”

CASSIAN

“Hi there sugar, what can I do for you?” Cassian asks sweetly as he flicks your nose with his finger, happy that you ran into his office and immediately plopped down on his lap

“Can you fuck me?” you ask, frustrated with the lack of dick lately.

His eyes widen slightly at your words, then he slowly cracks a handsome smile. “Gods. How inappropriate of you,” he teases, the amusement clear in his voice.

His teasing almost makes you sob. This was totally NOT the time. You almost roll your eyes before realizing he will so not give in if you give him that

“Cassian, i’m begging you. I want, no- need to be fucked. Please, i’m losing hearing in my left ear,” you beg as you get closer and sit in his lap, rubbing your hands all over his chest

He looked incredibly good, almost unfairly so. Cassian’s jaw and chin had grown scruffy in a ruggedly masculine way that made him look older and even more attractive.

A week without seeing him had only heightened your weakness for his body, making you throb.

“Losing hearing? You must be really dying for me, huh? Alright then. I’ll let you ride,” he smirks at you while unbuckling his belt.

He finally fucking let’s you fuck, hitting spots that makes you go fuzzy brained.

You make him promise to never be gone again before going for another ride, satisfied when he breathlessly promises.

LUCIEN

There is not a bigger shit-talking couple in Prythian than you two

One look between you two is enough.

Someone’s being annoying? You share an annoyed glance. Someone’s being rude? You share a baffled glance. Something’s juicy’s happening? You share a glance that says you will so talk about it when you get home.

“— and he has the audacity to two-time her? He’s lucky to find even one person willing to date him,” you gossip, lounging in Lucien’s lap, your voice dripping with disbelief.

“You’re not going to believe this, but this isn’t his first time. He did that to Tamlin’s cousin too,” Lucien adds, his tone filled with incredulity.

“No way,” you gasp in disbelief, shaking your head as the gossip sinks in.

“Yeah, apparently this guy fucks around in all courts and cheats on anyone willing to stomach. What a fucking loser, honestly,” Lucien nods in agreement, disdain evident in his voice. “The sick bastard gets off on it.”

“That reminds me, guess what I heard about Rhys in Rita’s yeaterday,” Lucien prompts, leaning in with a sly grin, clearly ready to share some gossip.

“Some males and females were talking about Rhys, saying he's replaced Feyre with a clone,” Lucien whispers, his tone laced with disdain. “And get this— they think her transformation from human to fae is fake and that there is no way she could possibly be the mother of Nyx.”

“A clone? They’ll say anything these days,” you exclaim, raising an eyebrow incredulously.

“That's exactly what I'm saying! They're probably just making shit up out of thin air,” Lucien replies, nodding in agreement.

“I wouldn't put it past them,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for a biscuit, happy to be sitting and gossiping with your love.

AZRIEL

Azriel loves when you sit on his lap.

It makes him feel safe and relaxed knowing you're close to him.

It's something he does every day when he comes home - having you in his lap. Sometimes you both sit quietly, other times you talk or fuck or cuddle, depending on how you’re feeling.

Azriel especially likes the fuck part.

He loves the part where you sit on his lap while he works. If you’re good, he’ll bend you over his desk and fuck you. If not, he still fucks you but he does it with no mercy

He makes you sit on his dick and tells you not to move and inch or you will be edged for hours, not being allowed to cum once

Fucking torture is what it is honestly

“Stop moving around so much, i can’t focus.”

“Do you blame me? You’ve buried your dick in me, of course i’m moving. Maybe do something about that.”

He raises his eyebrows at your snarky comment. If it’s something he didn’t need today it was sass.

His day was quite shitty and all he needed was his sweet mate who would kiss away his problems and take his dick perfectly

Azriel smiled slightly as he put his pen down. He would take out his frustrations on you today.

“You want to be fucked? Let’s fuck,” he says in a low tone

In the end, all his papers are scattered, all pens on the floor.

He is relaxed and all smiley while you’re on death’s door💗

[bearrrrrrr7]

perfect

Haven't posted anything in like, 8 years? Got inspired today. goodbye. (don't even remember how this shirt works lmaooo)

“yo , Syd!” Carmy calls from his office. He has a hangnail he’s been chewing on. Mostly nerves, he thinks. Also because it fucking hurts. If he starts bleeding his wife is gonna kill him. 

“‘Sup, Carm?” She pushes her way through the door and peaks her head in, “Yeah?” 

“Uh, next week, on like-” he checks his phone for the date again, “wednesday, yeah Wednesday, I’m gonna be out. Gonna need you to take over until like-Monday, I think? You can call me, just won’t be in.” 

Syd scrunches her eyebrow “uh, no-yeah that’s fine, for sure. Just like - why? Are you okay? You don’t normally, like, spring this shit on me.” She fully enters his office at this point. Arms are crossed, not in an annoyed way, more so because the giant fan in his office is directly pointing at her. 

“No yeah, uh, fine.” He coughs into his shoulder. He shouldn’t feel awkward about this, he’s a fully grown man with two baby girls and a beautiful wife. “Just a procedure, medical, uh, procedure I gotta get done on Wednesday. They told me not to be on my feet too much for the next couple days.” He’s not making eye contact with Syd, fully focused on color coordinating the highlighters in his desk. 

“Procedure? Dude, what? Are you fucking okay?” Syd asks, walking a little closer to him. She has half the nerve to put the back of her hand to his forehead. 

“Yes, Syd. Jesus. I’m fuckin’ fine okay? I mean it, just - like, could you make sure this shit doesn’t burn down while I’m gone?” He runs his hand through his curls. He needs a cigarette. He tries to picture your disappointed face so he doesn’t reach for his emergency pack. 

“Yo, Syd!” Syd and Carmy both whip their heads to the door, it’s Richie. With a shit eating grin on his face. 

“What, Richie?” Syd scoffs. “Were you invited here or did you just decide to insert yourself?” 

“Insert myself. Anyways, just so you don’t pop a blood vessel, Carm’s getting surgery to he can fuck his wife without protection. Don’t worry, sweetheart, he’s gonna be juuuuuust fine” he says, winking, stupid fucking grin still on his face. 

“Jesus, Richie” Carm and Syd both say at the same time. Carmy has his head in his hands. “Don’t listen to ‘im.” Carmy finally says. “I mean - yes. I am getting, you know, uhm, that. Vasectomy. But like - that wasn’t the main reaso-” 

“Hey Carmy?” Syd interrupts him. 

“Mm?” 

“Good luck on your procedure on Wednesday and I’ll see you Monday, okay?” 

“Thank you, Chef” Carmy breathes out a laugh. Syd laughs too. “Fuckin’ Richie” he says. 

“Fuckin’ Richie” Syd agrees. 

-

Carmy shows up to the house 3 hours later. Apparently everyone in the bear had heard Richie’s loud fucking announcement about his surgery. His hangnail did start bleeding but he found a paw patrol bandaid in the backseat of his car. 

He hears laughter once he reaches the back door, he smiles to himself. 

“Where are my cubs?” He yells as soon as he gets through the door. He hears screaming and giggling and a jumble of “Me! I here, daddy!” and before he can get a good glimpse of them he has tiny, chunky arms wrapped around his neck. 

“Where’s mama bear’s love? She chopped liver, or what?” You come into the doorway. Your hair’s a bit disheveled. You have tiny, blue and white plaid shorts on with a shirt that has so many stains on it you might as well consider it tie-dye. You have marinara sauce on your right cheek. You’re so fuckin’ pretty, he thinks. 

“Hi, sweetheart” he says. He gets up from his crouched position, two tiny toddlers hanging around his neck. He kisses you, takes his thumb and wipes that tiny bit of marinara sauce off your cheek. You look at his bandaid and give him a look. “Couldn’t help it” he says. 

-

After dinner, after the girls’ bath, after three different stories, after a small glass of wine each and a rewatch of something neither of you know the name of, you rest your head on his shoulders. 

“How are you feeling about it?” You ask. 

“What?” he asks. His eyes started to close a bit, he’s not fully sure he heard your question. 

“About the snip” you say, giggling a bit. 

He snorts, “you 10-years-old?” 

“I mean it, Carm! Be honest!” You say, you lightly slap his arm, settling right back into him after. 

“Jesus, woman.” He laughs “Uhm, I mean, good? Like this, like right here - uh, you and me, and my two cubs, my Ellie and my Charlie, my beautiful wife, this is it, you know? I just feel like our life right now is perfect. And you have done everything - so much for me. For the girls. So I’m good, I’m happy to do this. I wanna keep this, just this. This is perfect.” 

[strniohoeee]

Hidden In The Shadows Pt. 4(Final Chapter)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Waking up dazed and confused, Y/N is taken by surprise when certain events seem to take place. Unsure of how to feel Y/N battles with the decisions of staying or leaving for good

Warnings⚠️: SADDDDD NGL😭, but like not really but also IDK??? I wasn’t sure how to end this installment, but I know I didn’t want to make it some fairytale type shit LMAOOO

Songs for imagine: Blue Moon- Elvis Presley, Bang Bang(My Baby Shot Me Down)- Nancy Sinatra

Tags: @lacysturniolo @gamermattsgf @nicksmainbitch @s7urnfilms @sturnssmuts @vickyzloserz @mayhem-72 @sturn3g1rl @mattsturniolowifey

Blue Moon

You knew just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for

Someone I really could care for

If my mother could see the position I was currently in she’d be so ashamed….disappointed even. She’s always taught me stranger danger and leave it to her daughter to sleep with the stranger and the danger….

I can’t remember much, but I can remember the emptiness….the cold darkness of my mind. My physical body slumps somewhere while my conscious fights to wake me up.

Who knows what’s going on in the real world right now. I could be tied to a pole and slow roasting like a pig, or maybe even locked in someone’s dungeon. Or what if this is all some crazy bad dream and I’m actually back home in my comfortable bed….

My thoughts were slowly coming to a halt as my eyes began to open slowly. Squinting at the sensitivity they were facing I groaned and cleared my throat. The throbbing in my head and the burning of my nose leads me to believe Matt used an awful lot of chloroform to knock me out. He’s lucky he didn’t kill because I’d haunt his ass.

Opening my eyes fully I realized I was tied to a chair in a basement? Oh actually my basement? Looking around I realized I was in the same place I was when Matt caught me.

I began to move against the ropes, pulling and yanking as I groaned in anger.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” I heard from behind me, causing me to stop and jump

“Who’s there” I asked trying to look over my shoulders

“Why’d you have to be so nosy? Making everything so complicated” I heard him say

“You fucking psycho….Matt let me fucking go” I said pulling harder against the ropes

“You see I just can’t do that” he replied to me walking from behind me

“You fucking weirdo….oh god….oh my god I had sex with a fucking psycho… please just kill me that would be less embarrassing” I say shaking my head and tapping my feet on the ground

Coming from behind me Matt stands in front of me. Except he doesn’t look angry…. He looked concerned and scared. Which made me a bit scared and anxious

“What are you doing?” I yelled at him yanking myself around

“sit still” he said in a firm whisper

“Fuck off” I said in annoyance to him

Grabbing my face to have me look at him I attempted to yank away.

“GET OFF OF ME” I yelled at him trying to bite him

“STOP IT AND LOOK AT ME” he says with wide eyes

Letting go of me he steps back. Looking over his shoulder he turns back to me. Placing his pointer finger over his mouth he motions for me to stay quiet and then with the same finger points behind himself and then points to his ear.

“Listen here darling you’re going to do as I say” he says sternly and loudly

Digging in his back pocket he takes out a piece of paper, unraveling it he faces it to me so I can read.

They’ve been on you this whole time and they used me to get to you. At first I was going to do it, but I like you too much. They’ve been in your house multiple times and have found all the information you have on this town. I’m so sorry for who I am and what my family has done; but I don’t want to hurt you. They are having me watch you while they put all your stuff in your car. They’re planning to kill you and make it seem like it was an accident. However I won’t let that happen. I’m going to get you out of here and I have a plan! But they don’t fully trust me and are listening to me and watching my every move. So please just do as I say. I’m sorry.

After reading the note a tear slipped down my face and I looked up at Matt. His eyes softened and his lip trembled, swallowing thickly he nodded his head. Folding the paper back up he put it in his back pocket.

“You will listen to me and me only! Make any stupid moves and I will kill you myself” he says loudly with a sincere look

“Go to hell” I spat at him

Listening above he heard the two men walk away from the basement door. Ushering over to me quickly he got down and began to whisper

“Okay so here’s the plan. There is only one way out and only one chance to get this right so please do as I say. They’re loading up your car and they’re planning on having me drive you to a secluded area a little outside of this town. They want me to set your car on fire” he says shaking his head and looking down

“What?” I say shocked and beginning to panic

“My getaway car was planted in the area and they will be checking tonight to see that your car is completely burnt. However it won’t be there because you’ll be on your way back to Vegas. You’ll be out of their hair which will give you time to leave Vegas” he says grabbing my hand

“But what about you Matt? They’ll kill you….” I say as my voice shakes

“Exactly” he says nodding his head

“No….no you can’t do that! Come with me” I say to him looking at him in the eyes

“I can’t…they’ll catch up before we leave and we’ll both be dead instantly. Suzie and I tried it when we were 14. Thought we could leave and be young lovers together. They shot her dead in front of me… told me I’d be next if I ever stepped out of line again. You remind me so much of her I can’t see that happen again” he replied wiping tears from his eyes

“Matthew no…. I can’t leave you to die” I say sobbing

“Maybe it’s been my destiny all along” he says to me

“Maybe you can escape right before they come looking for my car. You’d get a good head start on them! Meet me in Vegas. We can run away together” I say nodding my head and licking my tear stained lips

He chuckled lightly and shook his head, opting not to answer as he stood up.

“I need you to walk outside with me when it’s time. Pretend to mouth me off, kick, scream holler! I’ll stuff you in the car and we’ll be on our way” He says to me

“Okay yeah yeah” I respond nodding my head

“But for now we wait” he states, backing up and leaning against the pole.

About thirty minutes passed before we heard anything. Barely mumbling a few words to each other. My throat had run dry from the anxiety. The fact that I could die if one thing goes wrong but mainly the fact that the last moments I’ll be sharing with Matt is him helping me escape my death that will then become his death….. my heart couldn’t take letting him die

He was destined for more. The way his eyes would light up anytime he asked me about what Vegas is like or what any other place I’ve ever visited was like. What stuck with me the most was the way his face would change when he’d realized the life he was living and what he’d have to go back to. The twinkle always disappearing. It made my heart heavy.

I wouldn’t let him die. It’s not happening and I don’t care what I have to do to prevent it. He’s had such a painful life and he’s going to honor it by dying….

My thoughts were interrupted by Matt, my eyes slowly shifting from the basement window over to his face.

“They called us up, I’m going to grab you by the back of your head and I need to just start lashing out immediately, got it?” He asked me

“Got it” I said to him

Quickly helping me out of the rope that held me to the chair he grabbed the back of my head as my arms were tied behind my back.

Gripping my hair harder I knew it was time to give it my all. Taking a shaky breath I began to yell

“LET GO OF ME, YOU AND THIS TOWN A BUNCH OF CRAZIES” I yelled as I thrashed against his grip

“Quit it” he yelled back as he pulled me up the stairs with him

“You think you can get rid of me huh? MY WHOLE FAMILY WILL COME HERE LOOKING FOR YOU” I said firmly

“LET GO LET GOOO” I kept yelling as I pulled against him, tears streaming down my face

He walked us towards the front door and that’s where Beaufort stopped us.

“Such a fiery little lady! I knew from the moment you called you’d be a problem. But one thing about me is I make my problems go away” he says sucking his tobacco and grinning at me

“You won’t get away with this you sick son of a bitch” I spat at him

“Watch me” he said smiling and opening the front door for me

“NOOO STOP NO PLEASEEE” I yelled as I kicked and thrashed against Matt. My legs swinging as I tried to “escape” his grip

“Should’ve stood in your home town. So sad you’ll be having a little accident” Beaufort says to me as he steps onto my porch

“I’ll kill you all just you watch” I yelled as Matt shoved me into the back seats as I continued to kick and hit things

Beaufort smiled an evil smile as he waved goodbye. Matt hopped in the front seat as we began to back out of my gravel driveway.

Driving down the road Matt looked in his rear view mirror before looking at me

“Okay we’re in the clear” he says to me

Sitting up I looked at him opening my mouth to talk but stopping once I saw him shaking his head no at me.

“You can’t get me to change my mind” he says

“Matt this is not okay. I basically just signed your death wish” I said to him

“And I told you maybe it’s what’s best for me” he replied shrugging his shoulder

“Okay and maybe it isn’t! Maybe it isn’t” I said sternly to him as I began to lose my patience

“Matt we’ve had such an amazing connection this past month, a connection I’ve never had with anyone else before and you can’t just leave me” I said pleading with him

“Don’t you get it? I can’t have them coming after you. I care for you lot sweetheart and if I had to live with another love of mine being hurt I couldn’t live with myself.” He replied gripping the steering wheel harder

I huffedd out a breath of annoyance and sat back in the seat, letting a few tears fall from my face. This is pure insanity! I couldn’t live with myself if Matt got hurt or even killed. I felt confused, one hand I’d be safe but on the other hand Matt would potentially be….. dead.

I hadn’t even realized how long I was in thought until the car came to a halt and I heard Matt put the car in park.

Hopping out of the car I followed suit

“Take the car and run like hell outta here darlin” he said handing the keys to me

“Please come with” I begged as I chewed my bottom lip

“I can’t little lady” he responded shaking his head and wiping his nose

“Ditch your getaway car and come with me burn your car and let’s go, we can run like hell out of here together” I said gripping onto his arms

“I can’t, I have to go back” he says looking me in my eyes

“Can you at least attempt to leave town? Maybe tonight before they come looking for my car, leave before them” I said basically begging

“I can try, but I can’t make any promises darlin” he states swallowing thickly

“Please Matt…. For me” I say wiping my eyes

“The best I can do is try, this is for you. Whether I make it out alive or not just know I want you to be safe and I will always be with you” he says to me pulling me in for a hug

“I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done” he says to me as he pulls away

“I’m going to miss you” I say to him

“I’m still here” he says smiling at me

I shook my head and hugged him once again

“I better head on back” he says pulling away

Turning on his heels he walks over to his car as I follow behind. Hopping in his car he rolls down his window as I lean on it.

“Now darlin you have to promise me that you’ll listen and you’ll get out of here. Don’t try and save me” he says smiling as he bats tears from his eyes

“I promise” I responded in a whisper

“And you have to promise to never forget about me” I told him as I smiled

“I could never! I swear I’ll try and contact you if I can pretty girl” he says back as he nods his head

“Thank you Matt for getting me out of here” I say one last time

Looking into his eyes I lean over and plant my lips on his. The kiss was needy and sad. It was a goodbye kiss…. A goodbye that meant forever. There was no see you later with Matt….

We hugged and shared one last final kiss. Parting ways I got in my car and we both drove off. I was numb the whole way home. I mean how does one process all of this? My life felt so unreal?

There were many hours of crying, sitting in silence and contemplations of turning back around. I just felt so confused, I didn’t want to leave Matt and I also didn’t want to die…. I didn’t have many options

Arriving home was the most bittersweet moment. I couldn’t really tell anyone what I really went through. What that town and what those people are truly like

I spent many days in and out of therapy really trying to understand what happened to me and how to process it. What really ate at me was the fear of being found, the fear of dying and especially the fear of never seeing Matt again.

One year later

If I knew that that day I hugged and kissed Matt goodbye would be the last time I’d ever see him, I’d hold on tighter. When I finally realized Matt wasn’t coming back it hurt bad… I mean I’d hid away blaming myself for all of this.

Wondering well maybe I didn’t push hard enough because if I did he would’ve caved and came with me. Not knowing if he was dead or alive really ate at my soul. Many days went by where I wanted to call his landline, but that would be a one way ticket to my grave.

It was hard moving. After experiencing something so intense with someone and needing them by your side to never seeing them again will always sting the most.

I was angry because I felt he didn’t try hard enough. Because if he did then he’d be here right now. And then that was filled with sadness and worry. I wasn’t sure if he was okay and I had to live with the fact that I would never know.

It’s so crazy how you’ll be living your life one way and then it flips upside down so randomly.

As I finished typing my chapter on my computer I let out a sigh. Writing a book about what I went through and losing Matt was the only way I could seem to cope.

It was actually Professor Wayne who convinced me to write this. He was actually helping me a lot through all this and he truly saw how it changed me. But everytime he saw the excitement in my eyes once I finished a chapter he knew it was genuinely helping me mentally.

Pressing save I closed my laptop and looked out my window. The rain is pattering against the glass. Such a bittersweet feeling. A year ago today I was about to sleep with my weird neighbor and friend and now I’m here in my empty apartment staring out the glass and reminiscing.

It’s still an open wound that I’m working on daily to stitch close. No one prepares you for traumatic events, especially ones that chemically alter your brain. I watched the rain trickle down the warm glass as I blink slowly. Racking my brain for answers…. I mean hell I’m just looking for one simple answer

I just want to know is Matt truly dead, or is he just

Hidden in the shadows….

The End

Yallll I hope you enjoyed the finale cause I hated it🤭 this is why I don’t write series because I’m so shit at ending things. But anywho I hope you liked it and I can’t wait to write some more for yall 🥹🖤

-J💅🏽

[ponderingmoonlight]

OH EM GEE YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN 🙏🙏🙏🙏 fem!reader x megumi fushiguro with a side of injury x angst and hurt but at the end there's fluff/comfort please !! fem!reader gets injured trying to save megumi, (prompt 17) then megumi is like "girl wtf" and then he scolds fem!reader (prompt 2) for getting injured in the process of trying to save him... then fem!reader was like "i was ready to give my heart to you" (prompt 28) and megumi was like "u dont need to do that" and then megumi suddenly confesses ?? (prompt 65) (HELP LMAOOO) and then fem!reader confesses as well and megumi's like "don't leave me." (prompt 61) and then fem!reader's like "dont be silly why would i leave you xo" (prompt 64) so sorry if this was confusing i got too excited 🙏🙏🙏🙏

First of all, I'm so so so sorry this took so long! While I always wrote on this fic from time to time, it wasn't until tonight when I had an idea how to get all of these prompts togehter. While I think it isn't my best work, I hope you still like it <3

Save you

Pairing: Megumi x reader

Word Count: 1,1k

Synopsis: After you recklessly risk your own life to save his, Megumi can't hold back his feelings any longer

Warnings: It's so fluffy I'm gonna dieee and a little shitty writing I'm so sorry guys, proofread, but I'm sick and not concentrated so show some mercy

Rumbling, teeth, blood. It happens faster than you are able to comprehend your surroundings. All you know is that this fucking curse was only inches away from Megumi’s face. Inches away from ripping his skin apart. Inches away from probably killing the boy you are secretly in love with since joining Jujutsu High. It was a reflex, an intuition. Without hesitation, you throw yourself in front of him, hands stretched out in a desperate attempt to shield the merciless attack.

“I’ll get you out of here.”

You did manage to exorcise the curse. But not without your blood splattering everything in vicinity, sharp teeth slicing your delicate flesh open without mercy.

„(y/n)! Why did you do that!?”, Megumi yells at you, eyes widen in pure shock.

Everything hurts. You don’t dare to look down on your own body, instead you just stand there and stare at Megumi.

“Are you out of your mind? You could have died!”, he hollers at you.

In the matter of seconds he stands by your side, frantically taking off his uniform and pressing the fabric against your multiple scorching wounds. Your heart sinks into your chest at the sound of his anger-filled voice.

“Stop yelling at me, I saved you. And you would have done the same for me”, you hiss through gritted teeth, ignoring the pain that spreads around your whole body.

“This was absolutely reckless, (y/n)! I thought you were smarter than that, such behavior doesn’t suit you at all! Don’t you know that I’m able to take care of myself? I don’t need you to risk your own life for me”, he blurts out, every word stabbing into your heart like a knife.

You hate the way your eyes start to instantly burn with tears, completely taking your sight that is fixed on his brown shoes. This is not fair. You did what your intuition told you. And you just know Megumi would do the same for you – maybe not out of love, but friendship. He’d be the first to take a bullet if it means saving his friends.

“And to top it off, you don’t even care about even injured, it’s like yo-“

That’s enough. You can’t hold back any longer.

“If it means that I’ll save you, I’d be ready to give you my heart without even flinching! Because I care about you, idiot”, you yell so suddenly that Megumi flinches at the unusual harsh tone in your voice.

He can’t help but stare at you in disbelief. Megumi has known you for years, long before joining Jujutsu High. And even though he always knew you care for him, he never thought that it would go this far. After all, you’re so breathtaking gorgeous that he never lost a thought about you actually liking him back.

Because for Megumi, it has always been more than a sweet innocent friendship, more than a little sympathy. When he fell, he fell hard, head over heels to be exact. Your words make his heart beat a little louder, world spin a little faster. But still…Still he can’t accept the fact that you’d die so recklessly because of him.

“(y/n), I would rather die than knowing the love of my love got injured because of me…”

Now or never, the way your eyes pierce right through him and the fact that you nearly died because of him let Megumi gather all his courage.

“I can’t hold it back any longer! (y/n)…I think I might be in love with you. No, I’m sure that I love you. I love the way you walk and talk, how you carry yourself with so much elegance. I love the way you make fighting look so effortlessly and the little smile you wear on your face every time you see me. But even though your affection goes far enough to save me, I know you’ll never like me like this…I just needed to get this off my chest. So I hope you don’t leave me, I would totally understand if you don’t wanna speak to be though…”

Minutes feel like hours when all you can do is stand there and stare into the dark ocean of his eyes. All this time, you thought all these things about Megumi himself. That he only likes you as a friend, that he wouldn’t be able to see more in you than his comrade, a simple girl that’s been through some shit on his side. But those sweet words leaving his mouth, him telling you that he loves you…You can’t believe your ears. This has to be a pretty dream, right? Like the ones you desperately try to get back to when waking up, the ones you don’t even have to write down in order to remember.

This is not a dream, though. Your whole body is on fire, limbs burning like hell while your tear-stained cheeks get brushed by an icy wind. No, this is reality. And by the way his eyes glister in nothing but sadness you can tell that he truly believes in his words.

How ironic.

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not leaving you”, you breathe out.

A warm smile creeps up your face as you close the distance between your bodies, fingers intertwining with his. Oh, if he only knew how often you daydreamed about this, how often you told yourself over and over that he doesn’t like you like this, that Megumi Fushiguro will never love you. Little did you know that he felt the exact same way.

“I loved you since joining Jujutsu High. All this time I thought that a wonderful boy like me could never…well…fall in love with someone like me”, you admit shyly.

“You’ve got to be kidding, right?”

He grabs your face, forcing you to look up into his ocean orbs.

“You are the most precious thing walking on this earth. If someone’s lucky than it’s me. Even though I still don’t like that you threw yourself in front of that curse for me. Please never do something like that again.

His breath brushes against your cheek. Is this really happening? Are his lips really lowering themselves at yours, touching them so innocently while all you can do is close your eyes and let yourself sink against his tender touch? No, this is sweet reality.

And all of that because you decided in a split of a second that Megumi is worth all the pain, that your feelings for him are greater than fear.

“I’d always throw myself in front of a curse again if it means that I can do that”, you mumble against his lips.

[abbyslev]

𝑹𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑩𝑨𝑩𝒀- 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

A/N: JUNE ACTUALLY WROTE WTF YOU GUYS WHAT WHAT WHAT OMG its not my best and there will def be a smutty part 2… just be happy i ever wrote LMAOOO but guys let’s thank me elvis presley for inspiring me to write this

WARNINGS: not proofread at all sorry guys it’s 2 am

It was uncomfortably hot, your body feeling waves of heat overcome it.

       You fan your face, walking away from the crowd of people. “Where are you going?” Sasha yelled over the loud music, holding onto your arm. “Outside. Need air.” You just smile before walking away. You push the door, back leaning against the cold doors. 

       Ah, the simple regret. You hated studying and sticking your nose in a book, so you chose to party. You never seem to grasp the fact that you lived in the city, and partying is just what young adults did all weekend. You hated crowded parties. 

      Your phone vibrated in your pocket. You picked it up, the light flashing your sensetive eyes. 

Hange

 u still alive?

           Yeahhh just rlly crowded

Hange

omg you never learn 

lol

no i’m outside rn 

breathing air 

Hange

ur funny 

what time r u planning to come home? 

i’m at the library rn 

and how drunk r u

drunk off my ass 

very much so 

ohhh is it busy 

Hange

yes

what library is busy at 2 am 

smartass 

call me 

            You smiled at the last message before pushing the call button.  “Hey.” Hange’s raspy voice came from your speaker. You sat on the floor, playing with the strings of your shoes. “Aren’t you supposed to be quiet in the library?” You smiled.

      “Well no one is here.” You could practically hear their smirk. “Ok, i get it.” You rolled your eyes. “Why are you studying this late anyway?” “Big assessment tomorrow. It's huge and we have to mix chemicals and stuff.” “Tough shit. You think Professor Erwin’s gonna kill you if you fail?” “What part of ‘huge’ did you miss?” Hange smiled. 

       “Pshhh, don’t ask me. I couldn’t even tell you the color of the sky right now.” You leaned your head back, closing your eyes. “Do you have someone to walk you home?” Hange’s tone changed. “I’m not gonna lie, I came here alone.” You sighed.

        “Someone’s gotta be there.” “I got Sash.” You rubbed your eyes. “That’s fine, as long as she can walk you home. Or someone… besides that Ymir girl… she’s too touchy.” Hange said. You froze, sitting up. “What do you mean?” You pushed more. 

      Why would Hange ever care about your past flings. “Well, she’s just weird.” Hange played it off with a laugh. “Cause we were a thing?” You squinted. “Not necessarily…” They trailed off. “It’s because we were a thing.” You said ina. demanding tone. “I’m not repeating myself.” Hange hummed. 

      You stayed quiet for a moment. “Are you jealous?” You laugh. Now it was Hange’s turn to stay silent. “Why would I be jealous?” Hange nervously chuckled. “Because you and I know there’s something going on.” You lowered your tone.

        “You’re drunk off your ass!” Hange laughed. “Am I really?” You challenged them. You knew that if you were sober, these words would not be leaving your mouth. But there was so much tension between you and Hange, it was hard to deny. 

      Your friends always told you to reconsider your thoughts about Hange. You brushed it off, not wanting to ruin everything. You were feeling quite confident at this moment. 

        “You tell me.” Hange snarked back. “Well, I think you and I know what’s really going on here.” You bit your lip. “And what is that exactly?” “That we both know this whole roommate's bullshit is just an excuse to be around eachother. We both know there’s more to that.” 

      Hange stayed silent. “I’m going home.” You hang up the phone, standing from the floor. 

-

         Your head laid against the cold wall, head pounding. You heard a chuckle.

        Hange took their key, fitting in the lock. “Did you forget your key?” “I was waiting on you.” You shook your head. Hange helped you up, rushing you inside. 

         “What was that whole thing about?” Hange asked you, kneeling to take off your shoes. “Just some drunk thoughts.” “Which are sober ones?” Hange pulled off your shoe, standing back up. “Maybe.” “Why can’t we talk about this when you’re sober?” Hange set down their backpack, cheeks turning red. 

    You stayed silent, looking down. You felt Hange’s warm lips on yours, back pressing against the kitchen counter. They held your face in between their hands, lips softly molding with yours. They pulled back, panic in their voice. “I should’ve asked, I'm sorry.” They blushed harder. You shook your head, pushing their foggy glasses up. You kissed them again, before pecking their face over and over again. 

      “You reconsider what I said.” You kiss their nose once more. 

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 9 thoughts

i have so much to say. i just copied and pasted my notes, and my thoughts were COMICALLY long. but it was SUCH a good episode so i have a LOT to point out. even more than usual, somehow.

(screams to let it all out and then tries to take a deep breath and gather myself)

okay. OKAY FUCK. okay. whew. we start from the top. the very very top, in which i click on the episode. and so begins an emotional rollercoaster.

this episode description mentions a train. as does the one after that!!! am i in for a two parter?!?! well, if so, at least i am prepared with this information, so i don’t get a massive shock like with duane barry! (author’s note: i was right!)

a train. huh. would love to ride one of those someday. unfortunately i’m american. we only really have cargo ones hanging about. but their noise is deeply familiar and comforting to me regardless.

(little did i know that this was the very kind of train to be featured in this episode!!)

camera opens on tennessee! children are riding bikes to watch a train. ah, good to know the desire to stop doing other things and instead watch a train go by is universal.

now it’s night at the train. is some graffiti action going to take place? the music is getting weirder as we look at the top of this train, and it appears we are in for no ordinary graffiti moment as some cars pull up. 

and these people are from japan! in tenneseee! boarding the train…? which is full of science stuff!! this is odd on many levels.

(japan to tennessee… whew, that’s a long flight. give these men some caffeine now!)

caffeine seems to be ignored because they are in surgery looking gear cutting something open. and green stuff flows into a jar? hey. not liking that. 

they are cutting into what looks like, in my opinion, some guts.

until people run in and start shooting!!! really truly shooting and killing everyone!!! what!!! what the hell!! who are these guys!! are they with cig man??? holy fuck, if that WAS an alien autopsy, way to ruin the scientific method with bullets in the lab!!

and they are zipping an alien into a bag!! so it was!!! the blatant disregard for learning here!! it’s appallingly american! who are these people?!!

bum bum bum bum… woo woo woo woo wooo wooo… woo woo woo woo WOOO woo… intro time.

mulder has his feet up on the desk. fiddling with… something. scully opens the door and he tells her to come on in, with the face of a man who is scheming. he has it all dark like a movie theatre!!!

LMAOOOO he ordered a video from a magazine of an alien autopsy. and that must be why he looks like a kid in a candy store. $29.95, plus shipping!!! THAT IS A LOT!!

she’s like, you literally cannot see what they are operating on. and she says it’s hokier than the one they aired on fox news. which means i have to google a few things to learn if that actually happened. actually i don’t want to even know.

he mentions the green goo and he says “it’s widely held that aliens don’t have blood, scully” <- girl how would she know that. also you literally almost died FROM alien blood. so explain.

they’re arguing the merits of what makes an authentic alien autopsy tape, and then he points out how the people burst in with guns right before the film cuts off. well, that could make it look more authentic, or less!

some guy in allentown got the tapes so they’re visiting LMAOOO road trip road trip!!!! to a very old looking house. 

the studio is called “rat tail productions” okayyy. i kinda like that. but it’s all boarded up so they have to try and break in.

and they find a dead body!! that is still warm!!! what is going on!!!

someone else enters!! and mulder chases after them and jumps the fence yelling that he is a federal agent. zooooom that is a speedy man. 

and just when it seems mulder has the guy, he starts kicking and punching and BOOM! down goes mulder. until he shoots something nearby to show he isn’t playing. 

mulder is wet from falling into a bunch of garbage… king. and the language barrier is being a barrier!

(sidenote i’m surprised they didn’t make mulder learn another language in school or for the fbi?? like actually really shocked. you’d think he’d have at least one other one, or a few basic phrases, under his belt. idk, where i’m from higher education in humanities related fields requires language learning, but he somehow escaped)

mulder is pretty despite being covered in garbage and bringing a man to a police station

scully says they can’t find an interpreter! this is not really shocking because they are in pennsylvania. 

“well look at this… a beacon in the night” says mulder whilst smiling, and who is it he glances upon but SKINNER?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? are they in trouble?? does… skinner know japanese??

(mulder asks and he does not 💔)

skinner says they have to let the guy (kazuo sakurai) go because he is a high ranking diplomat. so if you’re a diplomat can you just… walk away from a murder scene and that isn’t a problem?? at all? i did not think it worked like this.

skinner asks what they’re doing and mulder says he’s tracking down a “video piracy thing” LMAOOOO least convincing lie ever. 

skinner tells him to go back home, and then very purposefully brushes into his shoulder before walking away. yowch! that has got to sting. mulder looks like he just got caught and is trying to charm his way out of it

scully rightfully points out that this makes no sense, and asks if he wants to drop it, but mulder says he paid his $29.95 and he is gonna get his answers!!!

LMAOOO he “forgot” to turn in the suitcase kazuo was carrying. it has a list of members of a ufo society with a local woman’s name circled!! was she gonna be their next target…?

he tells her to get a motel and he is going to go back to D.C. and be “a good boy” for skinner… LMAOOO, and he’ll show the files to his besties 

back in D.C., and woah, mulder looks like a real slut with his hands on his waist and his jeans and tucked in turtleneck sweater. i am NOT complaining. just merely observing. it’s kinda giving that one photo of the rock. i see where he took his style inspo from.

so the lone gunmen say that the japanese were looking for a sunken ship from wartime, and it looks like they found it, but they brought it to virginia? very weird. maybe they did not find a sub… but something else.

the diplomats are heading home. or not. because someone is beating up kazuo! huh?! WHAT!

scully on da scene in allentown pa. serving. knocking at a door of the person whose name was circled in the files.

but the person goes to answer the door and she says they know her. she’s like umm not sure about that?? until another person comes to the door and says “oh my god… she’s one” WHAT??

(is this like a secret society of people who were abducted or like. are they trying to scam her or something?)

she looks super freaked out. she’s trying to explain that she’s here for murder investigation reasons, but the lady in pink (penny) is calling and saying everyone needs to come over right away. this will surely make scully even more stressed.

they ask her if there was some unexplained event that happened last year. and also to please sit down. so you KNOW things are about to get wild.

mulder is asking about the ship that allegedly was returning through panama. and the boat was stopped! but then kept going? the guy he’s asking to look into this does not seem to be pleased to discuss this subject. 

scully is freaking tf out but trying to gently explain that she does NOT KNOW THESE PEOPLE. but they’re talking about being taken to “the bright white place” and that she was only taken once, but these other women were taken many times. WHAT IS GOING ON.

they ask her about regression hypnosis and she’s like i do not want to talk about this. (and yes i even TRIED IT) and she looks around at all the other women and it is creepy. SAVE HER… save them all.

mulder is running away from the guy he asked for the files from. he’s always going somewhere. looking at a boat. looking at another boat. is he gonna sneak on the boat? YES HE IS. HE IS JUMPING ON IT. elbowing a window open to get in. this is a wild man!! he will break into your boat!!!

he’s going through drawers looking for stuff and i’m thinking, oh man i really hope the boat doesn’t start heading out to sea… he has nothing to survive on. and we’ve seen them kill people, so don’t say “accidental” boat abandonment with a guy on it is out of the realm of possibility. but it IS the boat he was hoping for. and now he’s sneaking about its underbelly. 

NO! he has been caught. the boat is being swarmed by men with guns. he seems too tall to hide…. but he did!! AND HE JUMPS INTO THE HARBOR LMAOOOOO, NOOO, THE POLLUTANTS!!

back to scully. i was so caught up in the boat espionage i had forgotten about scully’s dilemma. and they say that she won’t remember what happened to her for a while. cut scene to her being blowed up again like we saw in s2.

and she is really freaking out now, because they point out that they all have the mark and she just wants to learn about this murder, damn it, not unpack trauma!!

but betsy, who she came to see, is dealing with very severe cancer. and they say that what she is dealing with is going to happen to all of them. WHAT??? “we’re all dying because of what they do to us” OH MY GOD??? she has tears in her eyes. WHAT!!! what. 

back to the boat. do i look like i give a damn about the boat!! no!! but mulder is crawling- at night- from the harbor. so did he stay there all evening or….

so he’s once again on the run. and soaking wet. please take a shower, my friend. you know not what they do in that harbor. 

he sees people pulling in to the warehouse nearby!! with guns!!! and we see him sneak by!!! no, mulder, consider going home and not getting caught!! but what if he finds something that can help scully…? and oh my gosh, he doesn’t even KNOW she’s slowly dying yet. oh my gosh wait i need to sit down (said by the girl who is literally sitting)

the orchestral score is popping off, too. he peeks in a window and sees a giant… thing? being gassed. with cameras out and about. like a blimp looking thing. 

somehow he gets a change of clothes. and he goes home but his apartment door was unlocked! so he has his gun. is it skinner? 

IT IS!! whew! that was best case scenario, so it was just wishful thinking on my part, but maybe i really am deeply attuned to this show. skinner is sitting there in the dark. we see some photos on mulder’s desk but they kinda just look like random places. one is some sort of field? and the other is a house, i think? not recognizable to me. but back to the plot at hand.

skinner tells him to put the gun down. sort of like you tell a dog to drop it. he obeys. aww, he is a good boy for skinner, like he mentioned earlier.

so skinner has some tea; kazuo’s body was found in a canal!!!! he didn’t make his flight!! and they government thinks he was killed over his BRIEFCASE!!! 

mulder plays dumb. then he admits that scully has the briefcase in her car. he seems like he’s trying to play it cool but skinner is NOT having it. “this is bigger than me, you, or the FBI, agent mulder” okayyyy king of being vague. and he says he is not getting involved!!! woah!!!

so mulder goes to… a senator!!! yes, the senator we saw very briefly a few times before, whose name is richard matheson? i didn’t really understand that in the past, but maybe it was building up to this. richard says to return the photos, but mulder says he’ll be entangled in a murder investigation, which he cannot afford because he is so close to the truth!

this senator claims to be telling mulder the truth about what is going on. and he explains what happens in tennessee, how the japanese doctors were murdered doing a secret thing. 

“what am i onto here?” , he asks. “monsters begetting monsters”, says the senator. ohhhhhhh that does not sound good.

(i hope he exposes the alien people and the torture and they blow up all the people that hurt scully and the rest of those women and then hold hands)

he’s back in his office with his glasses on. and i would be glad for a glasses mulder win under normal circumstances, but my heart is sick over scully. i take what i can get when i can get it, though, because he is a beautiful man in glasses. 

SCULLY’S BACK!! and she is still freaking out. she relays the news that she might be dying, and he looks up at her so innocently and says “but you’re fine, aren’t you scully?” OHHHH BABY. BABY. GROWN MAN. BUT BABY. OHHHHHHH MY HEART. MY HEART ITS MELTING. MY EYES ARE TEARING. “but you’re fine, aren’t you?” oh lord… he cannot lose anymore people. 

she is terrified- “am i? i don’t know, mulder” NOOOOOOOO MY BABY. STOP. DO NOT DO THIS TO HER.

he pulls up a photo and she says she knows someone in it, but that guy has been dead since 1965. mulder seems to find this difficult to believe, but last episode he was suggesting that someone was bleeding another person’s blood, so i feel he of all people should be open to this idea.

(oh…. they’re using unit 731 for the storyline here. and they have done that in the past as well but. wow. awful lot of baggage to dredge up there. very very painful and unhealed wounds)

((and i guess before they have done similar things involving nazis, right, remember victor? and his experiments? even if it was done before though, it doesn’t make it any less chilling to me. i’m not sure how i feel about using real horrific war crimes as plot points in an alien show))

but my reckoning with history aside, mulder says that four of the men in that photo were in the alien autopsy video. and they were murdered.

“murdered for what? or murdered by whom?” oh scully, you deserve none of the suffering that the world has given to you. NONE OF IT. if i were mulder, i would hug her and never let go ever. ever ever. 

he thinks they’re still trying to make an alien-human hybrid, but she still isn’t buying it, even after everything; she needs proof. she says believing is the easy part, but he disagrees. “you think that believing is easy?” he asks, and it hangs in the air.

oh, i want to linger in that space forever. the tension it creates, the things it reveals about him. how belief is centered on hope, how he has to fight for it, that it doesn’t come as natural as breathing as he might have you thinking. it’s hope for a better future, it’s hope for righting old wrongs, it’s looking where no one else will go find the answers. it’s about getting family back. it’s about fighting and sneaking and learning and even killing to get what you need to know. but it’s never easy. 

FUCK. I’M LIKE GONNA JUMP UP AND DOWN. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!! THIS IS THE STUFF!!!

they hold eye contact for a bit, until she sighs and breaks it (fuck me, i’m emotional) and he points out that they DO have proof, as he reaches for her arms- the spy photos were tracking a ship that pulled a UFO out of the ocean, and the UFO is in that warehouse that he saw earlier!! that thing i said looked like a blimp!!!

he says the US has a secret railroad. i yearn so desperately for accessible transportation. if the government said tomorrow, yeah, we have a secret rail system, i’m not sure how i’d react. perhaps relief?

there is very very very charged eye contact. 

okay, bringing the thingy from her neck to a guy who can understand it. it’s a “micro processor”, and there are a few companies that make them. and they are being used for many things. so was it made by ordinary people, and not alien tech…? who is doing the torturing and testing…? and to what end???

it’s all women in that room… is it for alien breeding purposes… oh, i shutter to imagine

back in west virginia!!! mulder has a leather jacket on and a dream as he climbs up into some sort of railroad building’s roof. his hair blows dreamily in the wind as he busts out some binoculars. if he were to be caught, he could probably convincingly claim he was a birder. i understand they go through a lot to find their birds. 

people are showing up. they’re speaking japanese and getting what looks like a LIVING ALIEN onto the train? mulder is on the move. the train is taking off. is he gonna play subway surfers irl and try to jump on that thing? yes, he is SPRINTING. but he realizes he cannot outrun a train. 

back to scully cam. she is watching footage. a japanese surgeon is taking off his surgical gear and she recognizes him!! OH MY GOSH SHE RECOGNIZES HIM FROM HER TESTING! NOOOOO!!! NOOOO!

she answers the phone like she wasn’t unpacking horrific information and mulder reports from west virginia. and she points out that she recognizes the doctor… but not from the video tape. NOOOOOOO. realization crosses his face, and i’m sure only adds fuel to his fire to get on that damn train.

so mulder is trying to catch up with the train. a handsome japanese man is being followed by the dude that killed the other guy earlier. AND NO!!!! the killer just killed the handsome japanese man and locked him in the bathroom. then adjusted his hair???

mulder JUST misses the train. perhaps this is for the best?

scully going home. WHY IS X THERE?!?!?!? he’s telling her to tell mulder to get OFF OF THE TRAIN. she rightly is suspicious but he is NOT playing around.

mulder is about to leap on top of the train when he gets the call from scully. and he asks who told her what he was doing and to stop it, and like me, she is also probably realizing she doesn’t know this dude X’s name. 

and he jumps on the train!!! but loses his phone in the process!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

WHAT THE HELL.

okay, my yelling aside, THIS is when the show is at its best, imo. THIS is the blueprint for me. character driven. heart of the plot. reveal after reveal but vague enough to keep me wanting more. the government is evil and every conspiracy has more conspiracies. getting to know what is ACTUALLY going on in snippets. skinner is there. this episode truly had it all.

EXCEPT an ending, of course, because now i have to WAIT to watch the next part. SO TRULY DIABOLICAL!

no no, i jest, i can take a cliffhanger most of them time. i just better not have ANY distractions tomorrow. 

whew, so much to unpack. i think there are two things that are sticking out the most to me here: scully’s terror and mulder’s belief.

her not knowing what to believe is true about herself and the world she has studied so carefully, being surrounded by strangers who claim to know her, that know things ABOUT her, and who tell her she is going to die slowly and horribly. how she tears up when she learns this. how she tried so hard to get control over the situation by pivoting to the murder case, only to be denied. how the reigns of control slip from her hands, and it is left to fate. and how horrific that is. how she cannot handle processing what was done to her, but is forced to, by seeing this guy who did unspeakable things to her again. how she says she needs proof. as if she’s biding her time, waiting for a full answer so that the reality of what she has gone through can sink in. if there’s never proof, maybe she’ll never have to process it.

and mulder, who thinks that belief is hard. who has sacrificed so much of his life to belief, put himself in danger countless times to find the truth that everyone around him either denies or ridicules him for. how he has little more than his work, because he needs there to be hope. if belief is terror for scully, to him it is a source of possibility. how they’re both wrapped into the same tragedy with entirely separate takes on what it means and how to proceed but whatever is bringing them together keeps weaving them tighter and tighter. 

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i could scream.

i actually typed all of that, took way more notes than usual, and STILL feel like i’m barely scratching the surface. i feel like i need to give a lecture on this subject matter to even sort of drain the giant well within me of feelings regarding them. his face, how he insists she has to be okay, right? right? and her terror when she admits she doesn’t know.

now. i hate to say it, but i have seen vague spoilers about what happens in the next season, involving illness. and i have a feeling i’m gonna cry like a baby because i’m so messed up just by this. maybe it’s a sensitive topic for me, or maybe i’m just too deeply attached to these nerds and need them to be happy. 

but the depth of my feeling is indicative of how amazing this episode was. it was fast-paced, but not too fast to follow. it explored our character’s hopes and dreams and fears. the dialogue and acting was excellent. how much can be said with just eye contact, and then it breaking, is stunning. i want to know what happens next, and despite my eagerness, i am too disciplined and sleepy to go onto the next episode. 

(i have some thoughts that i need to gather and articulate at a later time regarding the use of unit 731 as a plot point, but they’re still loading, and frankly it would be better to make a post just on that subject once i can figure out how to verbalize them and if i feel that i can confidently tackle the subject matter)

goodnight world, i’m gonna scream. 

[vacantgodling]

sjaak facts? *rattles tin* spare sjaak facts?

EEEE SJAAK FACTS YIPPEE!!!!!!!

tw: slavery jumpscare

-i haven’t said it formally yet but sjaak is 23 as of the events of btaf (1811) ; he was born in 1788, was turned into a werewolf in 1808 so he’s been a werewolf for 3 years — probably 2 and some change, cuz idk what actual Month he was born in (i have yet to make an actual timeline wanna feel everything out first before i start REALLY hammering the dates down, but i do know the gist). honestly when i think back to myself at 23, this explains most of his nonsensical behavior HFJFJF

-he is black & dutch. i may have mentioned it before but to fully explain tl;dr his mother was born a slave and was subsequently freed when her former master brought her to the netherlands and during this time period slavery had been abolished so she was good. she still lived as a laborer and worked at a rich man’s estate for poor money. sjaak’s father was actually the master of that estate his mother worked in and his Actual Wife worked sjaak’s mother to death out of jealousy p much. she died when he was 13 and Also explains many of his fucking issues 🤷🏽‍♂️

-first description i have of sjaak in draft 2 bc fuck it he handsome:

the person sitting astride her is hard to make out in the moonlight, but the moonlight reflects like a mirror off of his darkened, wet skin. his eyes are dark but its deep like the pits of an unseen hole, with no sheen in them other than the tears perhaps left unshed. his hands are gripping his pants leg so tightly that they’re near ripped. his hair tumbles out his face in wild, kinky waves, the wetter ends slimming out into stringy strands, that are immune to the frizz that takes root of the middle. his lips are plush and full and his nose wide and strong, and his lashes dark and beautiful almost feminine in their fullness. he wears a simple uniform, reminiscent of the french militia, but it looks somewhat tight on him, as though it is these mere threads of fabric that are holding him back from bursting at the seams entirely. some parts of it appear to be caked in blood.

-when his hair is dry it has looser but still kinky curls and since it’s been a few years since he’s had a haircut it falls into his eyes. like this probably (sorry the quality is ass i just wanted yall to see the hair texture)

-in the first 26 pages of draft 2 he has thrown himself to the ground sobbing twice LMAOOO there will be more :)

-sjaak has killed three people up until the beginning of the book but it’s the fourth one at the end of the book that’s REALLY gonna make him feel a way :DDD

-sjaak is left handed but right pawed in his werewolf form lol

-azelie was his first time. the only nut he’s ever had as a human lmao 💀 (i rotate this scene in my head a LOOOOT tbh…. i should write it at some point fbdjfjdj)

-even though biscella doesn’t know how to read or write, sjaak has known from a young age, his mother taught him :3c

that’s all the ones i can think of right this second—i’m tired bc of being on the bus + it’s rainy and i just pretty much reread all of btaf’s draft 1 again LOL 💀💀 i just ugHhh i need this to be written already. but thank you for asking!!

[moonlight-blue-rose]

Part 4 of my journey with the 1863rd arc, yesterday I didn't even realise I've spent 4 hours on 4 chapters....

ch 295

… h u h? huhhhhh?????

This,,, makes sense actually. I wondered how she would kill yjh but never guessed it would be through such means…

Oh. Oh. It was Yoo Joonghyuk, wasn’t it? He was the one who told her to protect the people he loves until the end she thought of. That’s why he promised to die, didn’t he…

Ahhhh the back and forth, “some call it salvation” – was that a dig at kdj’s modifier? Because it sure feels like one

And what does she mean “it isn’t the world I made”? Is it because of the Covenant? Or is it because it is a world reached after 1862 regressions? I really don’t think kdj is right about his guess for hsy’s Covenant. Something just doesn’t add up

Of course he didn’t haha

Oh Kim Dokja you sly little- So that was the decision he reached in the end

... holy-…

Ch 296

Wow, just, the description… I have already spoiled myself yjh’s sponsor but every time they are referenced in the story is with such mystery and ‘otherness’ that leaves a big impression. Just, wow…

Snow… reminds me of the snow garden between the letters, the space only a reader can hide in…

Oh Yoo Joonghyuk… (╥╯^╰╥)

It’s a very faint voice… A voice suffocated underneath all the others… But it’s still there… Kim Dokja heard it…

The whole scene that feels like slow motion… Kim Dokja’s determination, his desire to see the ending, an ending, even if it’s not the ideal one he wanted… Why does all of this feel like defeat? And yet at the same time like a culmination to everything he has ever wanted... Even if he is not part of that story… he still wanted to see it…

I want to go there and shake him, ask him why is he giving up? The Kim Dokja I’ve read about didn’t give up, even if everything looked impossible. I want to tell him there is another way. But there isn’t, is it? He tried. He gave his best. There is nothing he himself can do anymore… And it’s just so unfair, to see him bow down like this, here and now… But at the same time, it’s a decision only he, the person who loves this story the most in the world, can make… The decision of a Reader… God, this arc is giving me too many emotions

Hahaha, of course he would throw himself on the path of an attack meant for yjh. He did the same with the 41st sys too after all

"Director of the false last act" such a fitting name

It does! It does… It’s a world only Kim Dokja could create…

Ch 297

It’s what you deserve for making yjh eat soil lmaooo

Honestly, the whole orv feels like that one post here on Tumblr “I’m asking you to endure it.” Yes, it may be incredibly selfish. Yes, you will suffer and it will hurt so much. But, still, please, endure. Orv just has this particular taste…

*crying* It’s the first time he admitted that he just doesn’t want Yoo Joonghyuk to die…

Honestly, it felt really strange since we got wos’s revisions but, the original text of wos disappeared forever. It was the story he grew up with. It was the story he fell in love with. And yes, it means so much that he can influence the third turn so they can reach the end but… But the original text disappeared. If I was Kim Dokja, I would feel heartbroken. Your memories can remain for only so much, that why losing the original text hit me hard. Yes, kdj has his strange mind library thing but can he go there at will? Maybe he could in the future. But it still makes me wonder whether kdj represses these feelings. I wonder whether he reread the text again and again in the 1863rd round not only to find a way out but also for himself. As a last attempt to keep this story with himself just for a little longer…

This whole arc is just pure pain, I understand why everyone is crying about it

… I knew it but having it confirmed hurts a lot more… Yoo Mia… His only baby sister… and his mother figure too… (╥╯^╰╥)

…. Everything until the end of the chapter… I need a moment… Yoo Joonghyuk…

At this point I can’t even explain what I’m feeling (╥╯^╰╥)

BOTH, BOTH ARE REAL!

He picked Kim Dokja’s coat… He abandoned the person he was and turned away so he can become someone new, someone who isn’t “the protagonist”… Yoo Joonghyuk, who found a different answer altogether

One of them is gone forever… I can’t believe this. I-

At this point I’m just crying- He isn’t a character, he isn’t a character

Ch 298

Kim Dokja having a panic attack is really understandable, with the way everything ended. Dissociation time yay! *sighs*

Of course he would want her to be honest with the rest of the party… He loves them too much not to do at least this for them…

Yeah… Maybe it was finally a time he did that… Not being chained down by the “protagonist” title but just being Yoo Joonghyuk…

A baby?? Is this referencing yjh’s sponsor? There was the sound of a baby laughing when they were described earlier. Uhhhhh I don’t know at this point

Hahaha of course she got attached. No matter which one it is, hsy has such a big, bleeding heart

I don’t think I can finish the arc today, these few chapters were just so draining. Hopefully there won’t be much to cry about in the next chapters, I don’t think I’ll be able to bear so much emotional damage in such a short time…

[sparkbugs]

My liveblog reaction post for JRWI Riptide 114! :3 SPOILERS AHEAD if that wasn’t obvious.

I completely forgot. About the bastion/stronghold. IF THEY LEAVE THE SHIP THEY LOSE THE TELEPORTER.

Haha! Ha. Wowie this is extremely stressful to start a session Jesus Christ. Pls get good perception AGGG. The laughter but it’s so stress LMAOOO AAAA

If anyone dies this episode! Haha.

How is this all 10 mins into the episode it’s just a terrible chase scene I am so. Aughhh

THANK GOD TBEY GOT TO THE DOCKS. BUT IS THE SHIP OKAY. if the ship fucking denigrates they lose their teleporter man they need that to get home if anything haha! Aggghghsh

The fucking. Fish shoes. Also PORTABLE HOLE LMAOOO

Gryffon :( my boy protect the ship my guy ily

Godddd because of the title I’m so fucking sure there’s stuff about Jay’s family here. I’m so sure there’s lots of things here but it’s so not safe.

Darkness lets gooo… oh.. that audio… ohhhhggg ahhdnjs oh goddddd

“Hello..?” *unimaginable horror response in a roar*

HOW HAS IT ONLY BEEN 25 MINS THERE ARE UNIMAGINABLE HORRORS THIS IS TERRIFYING

Portable holeeeee that’s a smart play, but that’s terrifying to think bout the helmet

“GUYS YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS” “what is it gill?” “Stairs!” “… that’s a ladder gill-“ I love them so much

More unimaginable horror sounds! Oh boy! This is. It’s been 30 fucking minutes.

Oh yucky.. skin… Jesus.. oh noooogghdjhdns

ITS GONE?!?!? WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO.

THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME TO BE ARGUINGGGG AAAAGGGG

I hate this so fucking much actually

The bit shoes.. Charlie please

We have made it 40 mins in let’s goooo haha. Ha!

A GLHYPHHJDHHSHS JAY NO WHAT HEY. FIREEE????? 37 POINTS HOLYYYY FUCKKKKK

HAHSJFHSJAIDJSUHWKS CREATURES THEYRE HERE AND THEYRE ANGRY

Haha it’s all fine now. Also the fucking bones aren’t real??? What. HAHAHAHAJGSIW UH OH BIZLY PLEASSEE

LMAOOO HAHAGGGSHDA THE PARANOIA IS SO FUCKING REAL

HAHSHSHSHA THE FUCKING MICROCHIPS IN THE WATER NOO STOP FUCKIN WITH GILL LMAO

Almost an hour in!! Woooooo! No ones dead thank fucking god

Thank god Chip please make sure no one dies thank u skelly man <3

Floor threeeee baybeee surely nothing happens here. :)

There’s someone waiting for themmmmm hahaha

“Jay can you do me a flavor right now?”

AHAHSHSHSHA WHATTTT WDYMMMM EVERYTHING GULLIOKFNXUSHSO GILLION NOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCKSHAIABA also the last quote being Gillion’s last words man. Yikes

Where is my boy where is my boy where is my boy. IS THAT HIS FUCKING SKIN

ITS HIS FUCKING SKINH IM SO MOT OKAY WHWRE IS MY BOY WHEFE IS HE. GIVE HIM BACK THEY JUST GOT HIM VACK

Haha. I’m fine :) I’m gonna ignore that for now haha cause why. Would that be an issue :)

I’m so worried about him actually. Bring him back

THEY WERE FUCKING EXPERIMENTING ON THE ICHOR. I KNEW IT BUT GOD THE CONFIRMATION IS. UGHHHGHDJSK yea this is such a navy thing to do. Yuck

Oh my god they didn’t see what skin the trition in the ground was. What if that was Edyn. Oh I’m so unwell.

GODDD THEYRE USING THE LEVIATHAN AND THE FUCKING ICHOR AS A SUPER WEAPON. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE NAVY.

NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE YET WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

Chip is so me I would totally. Grab bone pieces. EWWWW WHY MORE SKIN GROSS HOW MANY PEOPLE DID THEY FUCKING KILL

DEATHWARD SAVED THIS MAN PLEASE STAY MY GUY I LOVE YOU. this man is being crucified.. oh my god,,

Holy shit.. Kuba kenta :o is that u bitch

ITS HIMMMM HOLYYYY SHITTYTTT HAHSHSHSHAHA he’s such a bastard but also such a good villain… godddddd he’s just a fluffy guy :3

Mmmmmm machineeeeee

Giving me The Core from Amphibia vibes. This is fucking TERRIFYING. I MEAN I WAS RIGHT HERE CAUSE GILLION WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. PLEASE. GILLION WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. WHY DID YOU SIT IN THE CHAIR

WHWIDUDISHWJDJEIEJAIWHDIRJE GILLION. WHAT THE FUCK. Oh

Oh my god. 0 initiative. Oh my god Gillion please

“I would like to touch myself… and say- there’s more wait” PLEASEEE CHARLIEEE LMAOOOO

AWAAA RUN GILLION RUNNNNNN

“Oh my god, Gillion’s not fast.” HES RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW SO MAYBE HE IS??

It’s totally him right. YEA it’s Gilly :) why hasn’t he told them about Kuba Kenta.

Aughhhhghhfjskb CONDI?!??? LMAOOOO

Why. Are you. I. I despise them so much.

FIREWALL AUGHHGH NOT AGAIN

“CHEEBO” the rest of chips skin is fucking burnt off Jesus Christ

.. oh fuck. There’s more people going in????? It better not be the rest of the crew. INVISIBLITY WENT DOWN IGHDHDHSJS

Bones… gill I’m so sorry man :(

CHIP STOP BEING LIKE THAT YOU LOVE THEM. You love them. They you’re besties.

NATURAL 1 BUT IGS A FUCKING 23 WHAT THE HELLLLLL

Aughhhhhhhh paijnnnm pleaseeee surely nothing goes wrong mannnn what the hell

… conch shell time haha uh oh surelyyyy this will be fine

Jay my beloved <3 you got this girl

AAAA Grandma Ferin… SHES FUCKING CRAZY HOLY SHIT. Vault… time.. oh no. Woahhhh wonder. If that’s the true prophecy in there

CONDI DEAFENED AUGSJHSJGA WHATTT NO BRING HIM BACK OH FUCK

Haha they’re trapping themselves in this room. Uh oh.

OH. GILLION. OH NO. OH NOOO WHAT. HELLO. HEY. Uh oh. Hey. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK WHAT IS GOING ON

WHERE IS MY FISH MAN WHERE IS HE WHERE IS HE

THE HORRORS ARE THERE THE HORRORS. THATS WBY HE DIDNT TELL ABLUT KUBA KENTA OH MY GOD

…

The sword. Thank god.

PELASEEEE DONT LET ANY OF TJEM DIE OM GONIFNIBSJA GILLIONS GOING GO SAVE HIS FRIEND HES FOINF AS FAST AS HE VAN

JAY PLEASE GO HELP PLEASE FUCKKKK ING HELL

Ichor creature. Godddddd

I don’t even have words this is just combat that’s terrible and I hate it

Aughhdhxhsishdjsn man. People have been so right about how this episode is Bad bad. Like. Wow.

2 and half hours in. Pain and suffering. Please don’t let Chip die again. Charlie did really fucking good playing his doppelgänger without breaking that’s insane.

Gillion’s yelling at each other would be so much funnier if it wasn’t. A life or death situation

CHARLIE SALUTING IM SO UPSET PLEASSESS LET THEM LIVE

YEAHAHAHAHDHDHS GET HIS ASS JAY

HAHA HEY.

HOW ARE THEY TYING IM GONNA CRYYYY

HE WCJDJDSHS HE DID IT HE FUCKING DID IT OM GONAN THROW UP OHHHHGG MU GOD

GILLIONS STUFF FUCKKKKING WAITAAGGG

HAHAHDHSGWGE KUBA KENTA MENTION.

Oh. He’s. Opening. Kubas cage. Gillion. Hey.

Haha they have to go back UP?!? Well. Riptide pirates, it was nice knowing you.

Chip. Can’t be healed I am so upset. Also I feel like the creatures are just going to escape. And Kuba Kenta is going to be Right There.

Dopplegilly you bitch ass mother fucker give my boy back his stuff

WHDIXHSIDHS THEY PUT HIM IN THE HOLE??? Well. I mean. Go off

I hope they don’t fucking fall into the lava. Like seriously after all that.

Well. Gillion. Please let this man get his stuff. WALL OF WATER THANK GODDDD

How is there a half hour left.

HE HAS MISTY STEP. CHARLIE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

I am so. AUEGUESHS THE LIFE DEBT OF DOPPELGILLY GOINF BACK INTK THE HOLE PLEASE LMAOOOO WHAT IS THIS

Please get out of here please just get the ship off the island oh my god

So much murderrr please go n get them and get out im so ahdichdiebz

oh . The fucking. Turrets. LMFAO COUNTER SPELL THE FUCKING ASS TURRETS JDDIDBKS

THE FUCKCONF DECK IM GONNA LOSE IT PLEASE. DONT LET HIM DO THAT PLEASE

WHY NOT JUST FUCKING THROW THE DECK OF CARDS UP. WHY. I’m gonna.

THE IDIOT CARD. OH MY GODDD HAHAHDJDHAUA 3 INTELLIGENCE IM SOGONGNDHSBA

THE VOID. LMAOOOO HES FUCKING GONE THANK GOD. Anyways the TURRETS.

THEY FUCKING DID IT LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Well. That was. An episode. Well. I can see why everyone was freaking out about it LMAO THEYRE ALIVE THOUGH LETS GOOOO RIPTIDE PIRATES

[sinnaminttoast]

We got a balance update and I’m here to give you my nonsensical commentary/thoughts on it

Oh boy am I ready/nervous for what awaits me in this video.

Will I have a nervous breakdown about the possibilities of what this video will contain? Maybe, but you’ll never know.

Anyways…onto my thoughts

Oh??? So smartass is gonna be caught up on what’s going on. Alright…I mean I think we only ever had Geordi’s reaction to magic so this’ll be interesting.

SMARTASS REMEMBERING THE CARDS THING 😭😭 oh they are…let me date smartass plzzz

LMAOOO OH THEY REALLY GAGGED HIM 🤭

Smartass just already knowing magic exists “like yeah…I know people with cool powers exist. So what?”

Yo if I was smartass and someone told me “this involves kidnapping and conspiracy..”

I’M…I’m not mentally equipped for this one Aar bear 😁✌️

Elliot and Smartass are both of my brain cells theorizing about what the fuck is going on.

Someone strong enough to sneak in and sneak out you say??? 🤨

I think I know of a STRONG stealth who can SNEAK around…👀

Not Asher catching strays for no reason. PAPERWORK IS UGLY OKAY?? I understand him.

“Or maybe he just got better at hiding it.” OKAY! Alright! That line right there….WOW OKAY! Let’s not even open that one because as someone who is anxious…😬 oh it’s rough. Let’s just say that line hit a little too close to home.

Okay me and Elliott can be anxiety buddies…

I know I can be unserious but let’s be serious for a sec.

It’s actually so amazing how Erik makes sure we remember how awful the tragedy of the inversion was. Yeah sure we had the inversion videos to guide us through it but even now Erik makes sure we know that it still affected people outside of those characters.

That it left the department in disarray and with people feeling completely lost about what had happened.

Was not expecting to hear a southern accent but I’m not mad.

I want to know how the department has been dealing with Closeknit …CAUSE NO SERIOUSLY! They literally just kidnapped someone 😭

Oh wow…I didn’t know you…okay mysterious agent tell us your violent fantasies of what you’d like to do with Close Knit.

EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED?! 😦

Oh wow!

Elliott is gonna be sick y’all.

“I can’t lose them Aaron.”

So does Erik want me to jump off the edge rn?? /J

“They were so scared… in the dream. I tried to tell them what they had to do to fight it. I tried to help…but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I’m supposed to be able to protect them. Dreams are the one thing I’m good at. The one thing I know better than anything else…and I couldn’t help them.”

Send the flood. I’m being so serious.

ELLIE AND SUNSHINE I’LL GET YOU OUTTA THERE 🏃‍♀️💨

WELL THE MISSION HASN’T HAPPENED! According to the summit…Closeknit is still up and running so 🫠

THAT HE’S GONNA WHAT AARON??

I imagine that even though it is killing him to think about Sunshine…he needs them like the air he breathes.

(Yes I stole that from a Conan gray song and yes it hurt me to write that.)

“They were a good balance for one another.”

CAN YOOU LET ME BREATHE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND??

I’ll go get Sunshine myself if no one else will!

And we end with a kiss and uncertainty

So that was the end of that video….

I usually end with a meme but how do I end this without furiously sobbing???

I really tried to be light hearted with this one BUT IT WAS A STRUGGLE TO NOT CRY!

When I catch you Closeknit…oh it’s gonna go down…ESPECIALLY YOU BLAKE😺

I’ll make him eat my foot 🦶 and I’m so serious

[the-cult-of-russo]

Such a Softer Sin (Part 18)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: I’m not specifically tagging this one, if you’ve seen the show, nothing will shock you. Smut will happen eventually so minors DNI, thanks.

A/N: There’s a lot of feels in this one and honestly, I was far too excited about it to not post it lmaooo

—-------

You groaned as your mind woke up before your body. You felt groggy and weighed down, frowning before you blinked your heavy eyes open. You frowned when you glanced around, sitting up to see you were on a sofa you didn’t recognise. You rubbed your eyes and then it all hit you. Kos was dead and Atticus had killed him. He’d killed him because his mate was a traitorous bitch. The rage you felt was scathing as it all came flooding back and you dove off the sofa, looking around frantically.

“Billy?!” you called out, rushing into the kitchen but he wasn't there. His scent was faint and you realized he wasn’t here at all. You knew you needed to tell him what happened and you rushed outside, not caring about the cream knee length nightgown you were wearing that you had no idea how it got on you. Your eyes darted around, taking in a place you didn't remember before they landed on the large gate. You ran over to it but it wouldn't open so you slammed your hand on it firmly.

“Open the gate!” you called out harshly and it didn't take too long before it swung open. You were face to face with two guards who looked at you like they’d seen a ghost. You didn't really have time to think about the fact you’d force shifted right now. You were back to normal and you needed to get home. 

“I need to leave,” you muttered, the anger bubbling up underneath your skin.

“Your Majesty, you need to stay here and wait for the King,” one of them murmured warily and you growled, eyes flaring as you stared him down and made him bow his head in submission.

“Give me one of your horses and I’ll see myself back,” you demanded and the other guard shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Your Majesty,” he frowned and you snarled, rushing past them and right to one of the horses that was munching on some hay. Luckily for you, it was already saddled up and ready to go and you hopped onto it despite the protests from the guards that it wasn’t safe. You didn’t spare them a look as you got the horse to gallop off, going at full speed. You didn’t know the way home and you used the faint lingering scent of Billy that carried in the air and hoped you’d wind up where you should be. When you got to the castle gates, you jumped off the horse, handing the reins to a stunned guard outside as another opened the gate for you with a bow of the head. You rushed inside and stood there, eyes wide at the scene in front of you. People were everywhere and it was chaos, people yelling and some even chanting ‘Justice for Kos’. The name pinged around in your head, ricocheting like a bullet and it sent a jolt of pain that ripped right through you. You looked around frantically and your eyes laid on Billy who was with Frank and Karen, talking to some of the people. He looked up, complete surprise coloring his face to see you before he said something to Frank and the three of them started to rush over. Your brain didn't really register it though as anger coursed through your veins like molten fire and you looked around quickly before your eyes landed on their target. 

Atticus was standing a little aways from the mess hall and his eyes were as wide as saucers as he gaped at you, clearly not expecting to see you. Aurora stood by his side and her face was the picture of horror and your wolf purred in delight at her fear. You didn't have much time to dwell on the fact you felt your wolf now as you stalked towards the pair, right towards Aurora. No words left your lips as you threw a punch so hard that it went right through Aurora’s chest and you grabbed her heart. 

“No!” Atticus bellowed, dropping to his knees as he screamed. People around you started screaming and yelling in horror but all you did was stare at the girl as blood dribbled from her lips, her body convulsing a little. Your top lip curled up into a snarl before you ripped her heart right out of her chest and her lifeless body hit the floor with a thud. You stood on shaky legs, your whole body trembling as blood trickled down your hand, her heart in your grip. You felt on the verge of burning the world down.

“Y/N! What the hell is goin’ on?!” Billy yelled as he got to you, his face mortified and confused. Everyone was crowded around, watching you with wide and fearful eyes and you turned your cold gaze to Billy as Atticus wailed on the floor.

“She was a traitor. She was working for the vampires and Atticus was in on it, he killed Kos,” you muttered monotonously and Billy’s eyes widened as he looked from you to Atticus. You tossed Aurora’s heart at Atticus’ feet and his sobs increased as he curled in on himself. Everyone was stunned into silence at your words and you glared at Atticus as if you could set him on fire with your mind. 

“Take him to the cells,” you demanded roughly, voice wavering from the amount of rage you felt. No one said anything, no one moved and you growled, eyes flaring.

“Take him to the cells!” you screamed, your voice carrying your unbridled fury and pain. The guards scrambled over, grabbing Atticus who didn't put up a fight as he was dragged away. You were in complete shock, your body shaking as you stared at the heart and wondered how the hell things had turned out this way. 

“Y/N,” you blinked up at the soft voice to see Billy in front of you. He cupped your cheeks, eyes scanning your face in concern.

“What happened?” he asked carefully and you swallowed thickly, hands clenched to fists at your sides. 

“That night, Atticus mindlinked me and said he needed help. Told me he was on his way home and the vampires got him and he was by the lake. I got there and got jumped by vampires, they could have killed me,” you bit out and you saw the anger flash behind Billy’s eyes, felt it hit you like a dagger.

“The vampire told me that Aurora was on their side and that Atticus would do whatever she asked of him. His first test was to kill his Alpha,” you whispered, pain seizing you tight as the thought of Kos. Your mind flashed with memories and you felt like a gaping hole was in your chest that you could never fill. You’d never hear him teasing you again, never have his comfort or hear his words of wisdom. No, your Alpha was gone now and the one who had taken him away had been your best friend. Betrayal didn't even cover it. 

“I want to go to the cells,” you insisted and Billy frowned as his thumbs stroked your cheeks before he let you go.

“I don't think that’s a good idea. You’ve just been stuck mid shift and you need to rest, you could force shift again,” he warned carefully and your jaw clenched as you glared at him and he seemed surprised to see the malice there. 

“I don’t care. I need to speak to him, alone,” you growled. Billy blinked at you for a long moment before he nodded. He didn't look happy about it but he relented as he and Frank led you to the cells.

“We’ll be out here,” Frank murmured, giving you a sympathetic look. You nodded and Billy took your blood free hand for a moment, looking at you with worry. You started to think he wouldn't let you go, but with a sigh, he released your hand and you walked inside and down the steps. The smell didn't bother you, didn't even register in your mind as you stalked down the stairs. You could hear Atticus’ desperate sobs before you even got down the stairs and you made your way to his cell, standing outside of the bars. 

He was on his knees, crying helplessly but you had no empathy for him. 

“Why did you do it?” you asked harshly but he didn't answer, just continued to cry and you felt your anger burning you up from the inside out. 

“How could you do that to Kos? He took us in when we had no one and looked after us. We were all lost together and we glued each other back together!” you lamented, an agonizing pain tearing at your chest. Once again, you got nothing but irritating sobs in response.

“How could you do that to your own Alpha?!” you snarled, hands gripping the bars tightly. He shook his head, his body swaying a little.

“You don’t understand. I had to, I had to for Aurora,” he wailed pathetically and you scoffed.

“You disgust me. No matter what Billy said to me, I’d never do such a thing!” you hissed, hands tightening around the cold bars. 

“That’s because you don’t feel the bond,” he argued weakly. 

“I do feel it. After I force shifted, my wolf came back,” you informed him coldly and he finally looked at you then with surprise shining behind his soaked eyes. 

“You’re the traitor of the worst kind. You were my best friend and I know I was next on your list or maybe you were hoping those vampires would take me out. How could you do that to someone who loved you? How could you do this to someone who took you in?” you asked, confusion and pain lacing your tone and he laughed mirthlessly. 

“The Kingdom is a lie. The King is the one who killed Aurora’s parents and he killed ours too!” he growled at you.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” you seethed.

“He paid the rogues to go around and kill packs,” he muttered and you scoffed an incredulous laugh at his words.

“Do you really believe that? You know Billy is a good King and he cares for his people. He has nothing to gain from going around killing innocent wolves,” you bit out harshly and he hung his head as he wept.

“You let that stupid bitch brainwash you with stupid bullshit, you know it’s not true,” you spat at him and he cried harder. 

“I know… I know it’s not true but I loved her. I loved her and I wanted to do anything to be with her. She told me we couldn't be together if I didn’t,” he sobbed but you felt nothing at his words.

“Do you think that makes it okay!? You killed Kos, Atticus! You planned to kill me and you probably planned to kill more!” you yelled angrily. He was quiet for a moment, head hung in shame as he cried.

“We were going to poison the water,” he whispered. You felt like you’d been smacked in the face as you recoiled, blinking at him slowly. You could hardly believe his words and wouldn't have if they hadn't come from his own mouth. They had planned to poison the water here, killing everyone. His own pack, the children. You felt sick at the revelation. He’d become the very thing he hated, the very kind that took your family from you. You couldn't believe this was the same boy you knew, the one who hid you in the bushes to save you all those years ago. 

“Kill me,” he begged and your eyes widened as you looked at him.

“Please. Please kill me. I can’t live without her, I can’t. I can’t live with what I’ve done,” he pleaded through ragged sobs. You knew when a mate died it could cause a wolf to go mad. He was already unhinged clearly if the planned mass murder was anything to go by and he didn't seem to have a conscience anymore since he was okay with killing kids. Having more insanity on top of that would be disastrous. You knew if you let him go that he’d just go running to the vampires and he knew too much, they’d get the upper hand. You’d probably end up having to kill him in battle anyway. Kos flashed in your mind again, his smile as he looked at his mate, how happy he seemed. He’d only just found true happiness and it was snuffed out like the flame of a candle in the wind. He was gone and you’d never see him again and it was all because of the traitor in the cell. A part of you grieved for the boy you once knew, the boy you never thought capable of such things, the boy that didn't seem to exist anymore. You felt like you’d lost everything. A cold numbness settled over you like an icy blanket as you stepped into the cell, staring down at him crying. You moved to crouch in front of him, cupping his cheeks and making his tear stricken face look at you. You stared at the face of the one who had taken so much of you as the pain settled deep into your bones. You’d already lost family once and now it was happening all over again.

“I hope your soul knows no peace for what you’ve done. I hope you suffer for all of eternity,” you growled before you twisted his head and snapped his neck with a sickening crack. You let him go and his body fell to the floor with a dull thud, you stood up and looked down on him. Emptiness settled into you and you walked out of the cell and then back up the steps. 

As you reached outside, Billy and Frank turned to you quickly, worry all over their faces.

“He’s dead,” you muttered coldly, your voice devoid of emotion as you started to walk away. Billy rushed over to you, intercepting you as he stood in front of you. His eyes flit all over you, concern shining behind them as he frowned. 

“Come on,” he said softly, putting a hand on your back and guiding you to the castle. He led you to his room in silence and as you walked inside, you burst into tears. Billy was there instantly to hold you but your knees buckled and you fell to the floor, Billy going with you. You cried into his chest as you clutched him tightly, his arms around you and one cradling your head. 

“I’m here, it's alright, sweetheart,” he soothed but you cried harder as the pain finally took control. You felt every bit of grief and agony that consumed you whole. You felt Billy shaking and heard him sniffling as you realized he was crying too.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I failed you,” he lamented, pressing his face into your hair and you shook your head.

“It’s not your fault,” you argued through your tears.

“This happened on my watch. I shoulda known about Aurora,” he muttered bitterly. You sat up a little, tears streaming down your cheeks as you looked at him. He looked utterly broken and it hurt you to know he blamed himself for this.

“This isn’t on you. Even with a mate bond, he shouldn't have done this. It's not some magical spell that makes you forget right from wrong, he could have come to me. He could have told me what was going on and we could have figured it out,” you frowned. You felt like lead weights had been tied around your heart as you mourned for Kos and who Atti used to be, wondering why it had to be this way. Why you had to lose so much. Billy’s hand came up and cupped your cheek and your eyes snapped back to him. 

“I love you,” he whispered fervently, dark eyes imploring and your heart skipped a beat. You looked at him then, really looked at him now you were reconnected with your wolf and you even through your grief you felt it. 

“I love you too,” you replied softly and his eyes widened, brows almost flying off his head.

“You really feel that way?” he asked, almost like he couldn't believe it. 

“My wolf is back… I feel it,” you assured him and he leaned in, kissing you firmly and you kissed him back. You felt every ounce of love he held for you in the kiss and it made your chest feel a little lighter. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead on yours, his thumb stroking your cheek as he gazed at you. 

“Come on, let’s lay down for a bit, you need some rest,” he murmured, moving to stand and holding out a hand for you. You took it and let him help you to your feet and guide you to the bed. You felt drained, sucked dry of everything you had. You watched as Billy stripped to just his pants and he got in bed with you, gathering you to his chest and you snuggled closer to him, letting his scent soothe you. You were still reeling from all that had happened. Bergamot and orange blossom filled your nose and you inhaled deeply, letting it wash over you.

“I’m sorry I couldn't protect you from this but I swear, I won’t let anything hurt you again,” he vowed earnestly and you buried your face into his chest deeper. You weren't really sure that was possible, you were pretty sure you were going to spend the rest of your life in agony now all your closest family was dead but you tried not to think about it. You had Billy now. He was your Alpha. You knew what Kos would say if he was here. He’d tell you that you needed to dust yourself off and get back up, that you were strong. A fighter. You vowed to be a good Queen in Kos’ honor, vowed to take care of the war and get rid of all the vermin that had a hand in this once and for all. When you were done with them, there wouldn't be a vampire left to cause problems. 

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@on-ya

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

@noortsshift

@rainbowgoblinfan

@mysweetlittledesire

@promnightbinbaby

@intothesoul

[icetobes]

911 s7 e7 thoughts

- eeek the promo is THE beginning

- oh my fucking god

- she’s so good at her job yall MADDIE BUCKLEY I LOVE YOU

- CHIM ??? GOT BLASTED

- BRUHH

- yall they got thrown back im scared

- no driver 😦

- this is so stressful lorddddd

- BUCK AND THE BABY

- ITS GONE 😦 OH NOOOO

- he took the baby didn’t he oh good LORD no no no

- HENREN HOUSE 🫶��🫶🏻

- mara :((

- i feel like she’s spoken to denny…

- OH SHE HAS ???

- she’s got a baby brother :((( she doesn’t know where she isss 😭

- EW EDISOL

- NOOO BONES

- CHRIS 💀💀💀

- “we could leave her now” good idea

- OH THIS WOMAN LOOKS LIKE SHANNON

- THE FLASHBACKKSSS

- HES SO :(((((

- “look like you’ve seen a ghost” girl you don’t even know

- (i missed a few minutes idk ???)

- hen and mara :((

- “sometimes nighttime is the hardest” real and true

- “denny’s nice” DENNY NATIONAL TREASURE

- she’s telling hen ohhh my heart

- ATHENA AND MADDIEEEEE (im gay for them)

- so the guy wasn’t her husband ??? oh my god

- maddie :(((

- “i assumed she was me” baby awwww

- wtf is hen wearing she ????

- “you are the system” the system sucks girlie

- awww she’s telling them where to find her brother aaaa

- MADDIE 🫶🏻

- the sceeenee the sneak peak scene !!!

- this scene is so sweet 🥹

- “idk why i just told you that” venting queen just like me

- HES SWEET OMG 🥹

- “we’re” she means businesss !!!

- EDDIES BACK AT THE SHOP PLEASEE WHY IS HE STALKING HER

- girlie what the fuck is wrong with him he’s so stupid

- this is crazy HES LOSING HIS MIND

- not a fucking candle

- “do you trust me” I AM SO CONFUSED SHES FLIRTING LMAO

- MORE FLASHBACKS

- not them flirting lmaooo

- “just me and my son, single dad” LMAO YESSS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

- STOP I CANT HES SO AWKWARD

- good lord that’s a loud room of children

- their name stickers awww

- “we’re here to talk to you” that’s INSANE behaviour not going to lie

- tyson is so cute 🥹🥹

- maddie and that call :(( babyyy

- “it’s me you’re husband” THEYRE MARRIED YALL 🤭🤭🤭

- he’s so supportive 😭

- SHES AFRAID SHES GOING TO DIE i’m gonna end it all now maddie buckley you deserve nothing buck happiness

- ohhh she’s so smart omg

- she had a stalker OH MY GOD

- WHAT ????

- HES GOTTA STOP DOING THAT

- EDDIESHANNON FLASHBACK ??

- “about santa” LMAO

- OHH ITS THE AAAA 😭😭

- YALL HE LOVED HER SO MUCH

- NOT HIM IMAGINING THAT WHILE WITH HER IM CRYINGGG

- “i’m here” no you’re in fucking bed with shannon 💀💀💀

- they’re teaming uppp aaa

- “they’re hiding from him” OH MY GOD HE FOUND THEM

- IS THAT HIM AT RHE PARK

- creep what the fuck

- ew i fucking hate him

- “time to find a new mommy” i’m gonna kill him ???

- he’s so fucking creepy i hate it here

- maddie is so smart i caantttt

- oh he’s gone 🧍

- OH HE GETS HIT OMG

- THE 118 BAYBEEEE

- OMG BOBBY N BUCK HI HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING HEYYY

- CHIM CAUGHT THE BABY

- BUCK TACKLED HIM LETS GOOO

- awww josh is so proud of herrr

- the girl :(((

- OH HE RECOGNISES BOBBY :((

- oh he doesn’t but he does ??

- “they’re bonding” karen is so me lmao

- she’s here with tyson 🥹🥹

- oh my gosshhh aaa

- OH THEYRE SO CUTE IM GONNA CRYYYY

- MARA AND TYSON 🥹🥹🥹

- babies :((((

- HI BUCK

- EDDIE AND CHRISSSS EEK

- “dad already ordered a pizza” where is his faith in buck

- buck throwing food at eddie lmaoo

- MADNEYYYYY 🫶🏻🫶🏻

- they’re so perfect aaaa

- JEEEE LITTLE PRINCESS 🥹

- the dreams hand they’re so cute oh im going to SOB

- JAW DROP

- WHAT THE HELL EDDIE

- EDDIES CHEATING ???

( i didn’t write down my reactions to e6 i filmed myself cause i was drunk sooo maybe ill put that in my notes at some point )

[theharrowing]

i was tagged by @sailoryooons and @eoieopda in this incredibly funny game (as the killer from both 💀lmaooo.)

if you and your moots starred in a horror film, who would fill each role?

1. decides the creepy house is safe: ngl i feel like @here2bbtstrash would shrug and ask, “what’s the worst that could happen?” in your adorably nonchalant way.

2. screams like a baby: @neoneunnajimin girl, no offense, but you’d be elbowing everyone and screaming your head off even from nothing. i feel like @moonleeai would also be huddled up like a baby (i’m sorry i love you.)

3. scares you as a joke: i know @eoieopda assigned yourself as this role but i can just feel this chaotic energy from you. (i would tag matchy here too if i could.)

4. the first to go missing: @madbutgloriouspond, but only because you like to wander off on her own; you’re probably perfectly fine and may even come back with the killer’s head as a trophy, surprising us all.

5. the first to go insane: probably me, tbh. but i think @park-jimin-isnt-real would also be losing your mind with me.

6. murdered while saving you: @here4kpopfics and @echotoyou would lose your lives in battle because you are both as feisty as you are babie.

7. has your back no matter what: @sailoryooons not only has everyone’s back but you have an entire survival kit packed for any situation, including this one.

8. survives by faking dead: @random-and-out-of-context and @gimmethatagustd you know the episode of run where yoongi and seokjin crawl around, pretending to be zombies. that’s you two. i might join you, tbh.

9. has a solid survival plan no one listens to: @blog-name-idk because you spent too much time making crude jokes and now nobody takes your actually brilliant advice seriously.

10. is really the killer: listen, i can’t very well tag myself as the killer, and it would be weird to tag hali as the person who saves everyone and kills everyone, so the crown must be passed down to @sweetestofchaos because you also have that evil, chaotic energy, and i would definitely fall victim to your charms and beauty and tbh probably just lay down and die for you.

feel free to play along or steal 👻

[mayullla]

I’m glad you liked my suggestion for the Three Wishes (genie yandere) part 2! Yea…sorry it was long…I tend to write long asks when I get worked up over something I like…

I you ever need more inspiration, (especially with stories that are fairy-tale like), just post “help” on your blog and I’ll come flying in…probably. I don’t ever wanna harass you or come off that way.

I love what you wrote so far for an idea. I don’t think you need to include the later half of the story. Definitely don’t force yourself. I only included it cause I wanted to tell you the full story and make sure you had various story elements to pick and choose from. But if you did wanna include some later parts of the story…here’re an idea…

Prince gets turned into an ape, with genie trying to decide what other animals he can turn him into for his amusement.

Prince manages to run away before he’s turned into anything else (as an ape).

Prince finds a Princess or some woman in general, relays his story to her, and she decides to teach him magic to fight off the genie himself. (In my book, the Princess says that they’re “70 rules of magic” I believe. Don’t know if they’re actual literal rules…).

Prince breaks his own curse (or maybe the woman does it for him), and heads to confront the genie.

Prince engages in the magical transformation fight with the genie.

Now this is where you decide if you want yandere genie to win, or Prince…cause this story idea is gonna end with one of them dying…

6.a. Prince wins, killing the genie, and marrying Reader.

6.b. Yandere genie wins, killing the Prince, and once again victorious with Reader still by his side.

6.c. Prince wins, killing the genie, but maybe the flames the genie bursts into ends up cursing the Prince. (Cause remember, the Prince did loose an eye in the original story from the magic battle). So now the Prince has a piece of the genie in him for as long as he lives? Inheriting some of the genie’s personality and habits.

6.d. Yandere genie wins, killing the Prince, but maybe the flames the Prince bursts into ends up cursing the genie. So now the genie has a piece of the Prince in him for as long as he lives? Inheriting some of the Prince’s personality and habits.

6.e. Yandere genie wins, killing the Prince, and once again victorious with Reader still by his side, but he “wears” the Prince’s face and body (for funzzies), taking over his kingdom and identity. Leaving Reader to be even more traumatized probably…

Hopefully this can help get more gears running! 🩷🩷🩷

You don't know how quickly I turned my head when I read that last idea of yours. My eyes went wide and it was a done deal for me and the many wips I have lmaooo

Don't worry too much about spamming my inbox with fairytales, folktales, mythology and etc. Personally, I find those things so fun to make stories out of. But I could sometimes be lazy in searching for stories like that ehehe... ^^' So i usually limit myself to stories like cinderella and little red riding hood or maybe greek myths since I was one time obsessed with it when i was younger.

Secret between you and me (nobody knows promise!! *sweats*) I personally love writing reader's suffering when it comes to original works without the fandoms. I personally dont like writing a reader dying or too gory stuff.... I think... who knows i might unlock something if i try-

The story for me becomes too complicated to write if I add too much of the later part when most of my focus is how to make this as yandere as possible with too much of a side story happening in the one-shot do not have much patience for that. But I personally like the idea of making the prince suffer a bit by the genie bullying him by changing him into many animals. I don't want to follow too much of the story so I am gonna change the prince to like the son of a rich man who doesn't really have a lot of things going.

Maybe Genie kills the guy but like [“wears” the Prince’s face and body (for funzzies), taking over his kingdom and identity.] I need this. hehehehehehehehheheheheheh the idea of like people thinking the genie is the son of that rich man or is the rich man himself while the reader is trying to say that is not the case but poor her with just a click of his finger the genie could make people just not believe her at all as if teasing her for childish with her husband or some sort.

[princesseevee06]

heyheyhey!! 'Your Turn Ryoko' is very yummy and i love your brainrotting and art so much T_T its really cool to see the yttd cast in different roles! i am oh so very invested hehsjfhsj

noww, i was wondering what Maple and Midori's dynamic/relationship is like in your au? 👀

(i ask this because i was thinking to myself how funny it'd be if Maple was still Out To Murder™ Midori at the beginning of their relationship [or something akin to that,] and if Midori was still Terrified™ of her even as a human HAHA though its unlikely ^^")

also, if Sou and Shin are taking the roles of Shin and Kanna respectively.. what does that mean for the main game of chapter 2.... o.o

but yeah, dont feel pressured to answer anything if its too spoilery or just straight up wrong haha!! i love your au and i look forward to seeing more :D

hello bread!!! (is it,, okay if i call you that??? i dont really know what else to 😭) thank you for continually being so kind and supportive about my au and art in general ;-; i am glad someone enjoys my silly ramblings. i also think your art is super duper cool!!!

okok for the maple and sou question: so because maple wanting to kill him was kind of part of her programming as an obstructor, that wouldn’t really apply here, but that idea is still SO funny to me?? i’ll def have to doodle that at some point lmaooo

their dynamic here is actually really polite! i see them as being good buddies :) maple is one of the participants who’s closer to sou, because she very much wants to work together with the others and see the good in everyone. it’s very much like. “awwww what a nice guy!” and then the guy in question is plotting murder ahsjkskdks

just as an example:

although, i still can def see sou being a little bit scared of her, because maple very much can be scary when she wants to. she’s very opposed to the ideas that the death game perpetuates, what with suspecting and betraying one another, and so while most of her ire is directed towards the floormasters, she can also get pretty pissed when the actual participants try to trick each other. so…yeah, sou tries to stay on her good side and be a nice boy. but he also does genuinely think she’s neat!

for the shin and sou question: i wasn’t actually going to talk about the second main game for at least a little while, but im horrible at keeping secrets anyways and talking about this excites me, so why the hell not!!

so, while over time i’ve leaned less into the idea of a character’s “role” determining the actions they take (e.g. just because shin takes kanna’s role doesn’t mean he acts like kanna), the one thing i have stuck to is that when one character takes another’s role, they will always die at the same point in the story. i wanted to also incorporate ‘branching paths’ for ytr as well, because it’s one of the things that really sticks out to me about yttd!

…so yeah the second main game vote is either between voting for shin or sou (or technically ranmaru, but then everyone else would die). it’s vv tragic to me, because i love both of them </3 but i do what i must for angst.

i’m definitely going to give the main games their own posts (and almost 100% some art as well) in the future, but if you’ll allow me to get a bit rambly about shin and sou’s dynamic here and how it affects the main game, ehehe… ^_^

sou and shin at the beginning of the death game very much start out with ulterior motives. yes, they are friends, but they also gain something out of allying with each other: someone who they can rely on/who can vouch for them, which improves their chances of surviving. so they act all buddy-buddy, but there’s definitely tinges of manipulation going on from both sides (and while they realize exactly what’s happening they still acknowledge that this “trade-off” (both literally and metaphorically lol) is a good deal for both of them)

but throughout the death game they end up getting a lot more comfortable/vulnerable with each other, and soon enough they realize they really care about each other (really, they have the whole time). and this obviously complicates things because them wanting to protect each other throws a wrench in the whole “every-man-for-himself” ideology they’ve been preaching.

so, kind of like kanna, sou tries to get the sacrifice card during the second main game trading phase, but he does it with the intention of having him and shin escape together. …he does not actually get the card because the cards get swapped by gashu (there’s different reasoning for why they’re swapped this time but i’ll get into that in another post as well probably). hence, pain.

i envision the end of the 2nd main game being almost a screaming match between the two as they desperately try to convince everyone else to “vote for me so he can live!” (sort of like the shin and kanna vote but even angrier) (because kanna is a sweetheart and sou is Not) (it’s horribly ironic as i’d consider shin and sou the two characters with the strongest survival instinct in this cast, yet they are both driven to self-sacrifice here)

okok uhhhh sorry for the long tangent as you can see i’m evidently insane about these two’s dynamic in this au! ANYWAYS this vote is a lot different from the shin & kanna one because no matter who ryoko votes for as the tiebreaker, the one who survives will be PISSED. and by god they try everything to make her life a living nightmare in chapter 3 (because. being ryoko is suffering)

…i apologize so much this is probably incoherent because at the time of writing this it was past 1AM. but regardless thank you so much for the ask and your continuous support, and expect more content soon!!! :DD