#what even is this flutie

[coraniaid]

I don't think there should be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot and I don't have any reason to believe there is going to be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot and I would not watch a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot.

But, that said, if there were to be a Buffy reboot I think a big (small) change that would improve the show a lot (especially in its first season) would be to have a much broader pool of recurring student characters from the very beginning.  Not just the Scooby Gang and Cordelia, but ideally almost all the students we see in the first season should appear in multiple episodes and, if they die, they should be talked about at least once afterwards.  As it is, Season 1 is full of ghosts: characters like Amy and Harmony who will go on to be somewhat recurring but aren't quite there yet, and characters like Jesse and Cordelia's boyfriend Kevin (remember him?) who only exist to die and are not mentioned before or after. Most of the show's recurring minor student characters will only be introduced in Season 2.

In particular, I think the characters most ill-served by this in canon are, in order of first (and often only) appearance:

Jesse

I actually think the concept of Jesse – as a sympathetic character who is killed in the opening episodes before we really get to know him – is a good one.  Beyond any possible shock value of his death, it's a useful way of establishing that people can and will die in this story, and of stating out loud the setting's rules for vampires ("you're not looking at your friend, you're looking at the thing that killed him").  On the other hand, the execution is pretty awful because it is immediately clear that Jesse is not the same status of character as Willow and Xander (he isn’t even in the opening credits), he is not actually sympathetic at all (he seems to exist to answer the question "what if Xander Harris but Worse?"), and large parts of the fandom (and later writers of the show itself) will decide to completely ignore what the show is telling them about how vampires as a concept on Buffy work and why Buffy is not only justified but morally obliged to Slay them.

But the most egregious thing about Jesse is, of course, that after his death in The Harvest he is never talked about again.  I honestly think that just a couple of lines of dialogue spread out over Season 1 (Buffy blaming herself for Jesse's death while worrying whether she’s making a positive difference as a Slayer, say, or Xander mentioning Jesse as a reason for disliking vampires, or Jesse being named as one of several mysteriously missing students by Principal Flutie) would go a really long way to fixing that.  

A brief cameo appearance in Nightmares wouldn't have hurt either.  (Just months ago Xander failed to save his best friend from vampires and was taunted by the demon wearing his corpse and had to watch him turn to dust in front of his eyes, so of course he’s terrified of … clowns.  OK.)

Amy

OK, for real, if I were in charge of creating a Buffy reboot I would be very tempted to just add Amy to the Gang after Witch.  She knows that magic is real!  She knows Buffy knows magic is real!  She seems to be on friendly terms with both Buffy and Willow when the episode ends! And yet she vanishes after her first appearance more quickly than Marcie Ross.  

But, failing that, having Amy show up more than once a year in the high school seasons would be a start (especially since the show implies so much is happening to her behind the scenes each year).  Let her be a friend of Buffy's who doesn't know anything about Buffy being the Slayer.  Have Willow at least think about asking her for help with Angel’s soul curse!  Pull the trick the writers used in The Wish (and never used again) of having Willow talk about her as if they're friends even in episodes she's not appearing in.  Show us Willow spending time with her rather than Buffy during Dead Man's Party!  Remember that this character exists even when she’s not on screen!

Lance (and his various bullies) from The Pack

Hapless victim Lance is basically a proto-Jonathan and, if I were remaking the show, I would just lean into that fully and simply replace him with Jonathan from the very beginning.  

It would be tempting to do the same thing with Kyle and Heidi and the others, too: rather than retroactively introduce multiple new characters who apparently used to bully Xander in Seasons 2 and 3 that we’ve never met before and never will again (how big is Sunnydale High meant to be?).  

The obvious problem with that is that the show tells us that the Pack remember eating Principal Flutie alive, which means rather than hanging out in school giving Xander and Willow a hard time when the plot requires it they should probably all be in therapy for years.  But you can fix that while fixing The Pack as an episode by just ... not having the fact Xander not only remembers assaulting Buffy but lies about it to her face presented to us as a punchline?  Have Xander forget what happened to him. Have them all forget what happened when they were possessed, and then Kyle and Heidi and the others can be conflated with Inca Mummy Girl's Rodney and School Hard's Sheila as and when required.

Owen

This requires slightly more work, but I think Owen and Scott work better if they're the same character too.  Rather than Owen promising to stay friends with Buffy and then never appearing or being mentioned again, or Willow telling Buffy she "wasn't ready" to date Scott before Season 3 as if he even existed then, just make Scott somebody that we've already met and who Buffy had previously briefly dated pre-Angel.

The challenge here is that Buffy breaks up with Owen because she doesn’t want to get him hurt and she’s still very focussed on keeping her identity as the Slayer secret and only letting a handful of people know.

But that fits into the wider theme of Season 3 perfectly.  By this point, Buffy’s let far more people know than just Willow and Xander.  Xander’s girlfriend Cordelia knows, and Willow’s boyfriend Oz knows, and Buffy’s own mother knows, and none of this has caused the world to end.  Why shouldn’t Buffy try dating a normal guy who knows she’s the Slayer?

(And I think everything about Scott works better if he’s somebody we’ve seen before – somebody we’ve seen Buffy be romantically interested in before – rather than suddenly appearing only to disappear almost as quickly. Scott is meant to represent Buffy trying to reassert her claim to a 'normal' life after everything that happened with Angel last year..  What better way to do that than to try to start things over with the one person we do see her trying to date on the show before Angel? How much harder would Scott's rejection of Buffy hit if we'd seen that the pre-Angelus version of Buffy really did get on well with him and would have expected to make things work?)

Kevin

The end of Season 1 features, back-to-back, two of its best episodes.  In Out of Mind Out of Sight, we focus on Cordelia Chase.  We're reintroduced to Cordelia's friend Harmony and we meet Cordelia's current boyfriend, Mitch.  (Who is attacked by Marice Ross, but survives.)  In Prophecy Girl Cordelia briefly bonds with Willow while talking about how much she likes her current boyfriend, Kevin, only for the two of them to discover him dead, killed by vampires on school grounds.

Wouldn't the death in the latter episode work much better if those two "current boyfriends" were the same person?  Wouldn't we care more about Kevin's death if he was somebody we'd actually met before? 

But let’s go further than that: at the start of Season 2, in Some Assembly Required, we meet Chris, whose brother used to date Cordelia but tragically died. Chris tries to bring him back, and his brother pursues Cordelia.  The show doesn’t mention – or doesn’t remember – that Cordelia already has a tragically dead ex-boyfriend, one who died only two episodes ago.  Why not fix that?  Why not identify Chris’s brother Darryl with Kevin as well?

Make Mitch/Kevin/Darryl a single character, and then we would achieve that rarest of sights on Buffy: a minor character who we meet an episode before they die and who is mentioned again in an episode after they died.

And wouldn’t that almost make a potential Buffy reboot palatable?

[ravenya003]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Pack, S01E06

Tonight’s episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is brought to you by the metaphor: peer pressure and bullying. I’m actually rather fond of “The Pack”, even though it’s a middling episode, simply because I had the novelization of it as a pre-teen. My parents would buy me those cheap Buffy and Charmed tie-in paperbacks to keep me occupied on summer camping trips, and I’ve fond memories of reading them in the sun.

But are we really getting two Xander-centric episodes before we get even one of Willow? At least this one’s better than “Teacher’s Pet.”

It opens at Sunnydale Zoo. Who knew that Sunnydale had a zoo? It’s a place that we’ll never visit again, so try not to think about the fact that all these animals were probably killed when the town gets fully destroyed in six years.

The high school is on a field-trip, and Buffy is approached by four mean kids who bully her in the bizarre sort of way that only fictional bullies do. I mean, “careful – she might beat you up!” Dude, what?

According to the script (and my novelization) this quartet of troublemakers are known as Kyle, Heidi, Tor and Rhonda, though I think only Kyle is called by name on-screen. Of more interest is the fact that Kyle is played by Eion Bailey, who is still working regularly and is probably best known to genre fans as August/Pinocchio in Once Upon a Time. Jennifer Sky is also present, someone who is not working regularly, but who you might recognize as Amarice from Xena Warrior Princess.

The bullies move on to torturing another student called Lance Lincoln, who is makes the difficult call not to snitch on his tormentors when Principal Flutie turns up. Kyle pretends to be impressed by this and they drag poor Lance into the hyena house, which has been cordoned off. Buffy, Xander and Willow see them at it, and Xander takes the lead in going to the rescue of a fellow perceived-loser.

Buffy and Willow are about to follow when they’re stopped by a zookeeper (he’s never named either, but his nametag identifies him as Doctor Weirick) who gives the girls some creepy exposition on why exactly the hyena house has been fenced off. They’re fresh from Africa and are in quarantine, but are said to have the ability to understand human speech. They’ve been known to call out a person’s name to lure them away from the safety of their campfires, at which point, their unlucky victim is devoured.

Yeah, this episode has some “darkest Africa” vibes that haven’t aged particularly well, but it’s not too bad. The person doing the most cultural appropriation is the bad guy, after all.

Inside the enclosure, some very dodgy-looking hyena animatronics (?) note the arrival of the bullies, Lance and (soon after) Xander.  A scuffle unfolds as Xander comes to Lance’s defence, and as he makes a run for it, the hyenas seem to entrance everyone that remains, a green light glowing in each pair of eyes – including Xander’s.

That night at the Bronze he’s acting agitated and mildly aggressive, much to the confusion of Willow and Buffy. As soon as Kyle and the rest of the Pack arrives, the stare-a-thon begins (and honestly, I’m a little surprised more slash fiction wasn’t written about these two) though the girls aren’t remotely impressed when Xander chuckles along at a joke made at the expense of another student.

The next day at school we’re introduced to poor doomed Herbert the school mascot: a piglet that’s dressed up as a Razorback (established as the basketball team back in “Witch”). Principal Flutie is pretty excited about it, and we’re treated to him giving a lecture on the lack of school spirit in his students to Buffy, the girl who saves people’s lives on a daily basis. The main purpose of the scene seems to be establishing that something is up with Xander when he strolls by and Herbert reacts with squealing terror.

Ah, the dodgeball scene. Once again it serves to showcase Xander’s increasingly aggressive tendencies (as well as Buffy’s physical prowess since she’s the only one left standing on her own team) but the whole thing is stolen by Coach Harrold, who (as far as I know) only appears in this single episode, but gets three of its funniest lines (see below).

After some hyena-esque giggling at having turned on their own teammate and pounding him with dodgeballs (it’s poor Lance again), the Pack go on a slow-motion prowl through the Sunnydale courtyards, which culminates in them finding poor defensive Herbert in his cage. And they’re hungry...

Giles is rather uncharacteristically brushing off Buffy’s concerns about Xander by telling her that he’s behaving like a typical sixteen-year-old boy, though he comes around when Willow arrives with news that Herbert has been found eaten. Buffy twigs that all this started when Xander and the bullies entered the hyena enclosure, and the research party begins.

This next scene is... a lot. Blaming the Pack for poor Herbert’s death, a furious Principal Flutie calls Kyle, Heidi, Rhonda and Tor into his office, where he quickly loses control of the situation. We’re at least spared the sight of him being cannibalized on-screen, but I feel desperately sorry for the poor guy as the now-feral bullies advance on him. Being literally eaten is an extremely gruesome and terrifying way to die, and is quite possibly one of the cruelest deaths on the show.

Xander isn’t present when this goes down, which is a bit of a cheat – but then, I can’t say I’m sorry that they spared one of our main characters from committing murder and cannibalism, even if he was possessed at the time. And it’s not like he’s peacefully sleeping under a tree during all this either; rather, he corners Buffy in an empty classroom and assaults her.

As with the attack on Flutie, the act isn’t shown in any great detail, and I suspect Buffy got the drop on him pretty quickly after the scene cuts away, as she doesn’t seem to be particularly rattled over what she explicitly describes as “felony sexual assault.” (Then again, this was shot in the nineties, an era of television which was in no way equipped to handle this kind of subject matter. Heck, it still isn’t more often than not).

Giles has narrowed the most likely explanation for Xander’s behaviour down to a sect of animal worshippers known as the Primals, who can draw the spirits of certain predatory animals into themselves. Somehow Xander and the rest of the bullies seem to have undergone this ritual, so after locking him up in the book cage (the book cage! Being used as a holding cell for the first time!) Buffy and Giles head out to question the zookeeper on what he knows. Willow is left behind to guard Xander.

We get to see Willow’s steely side when Xander tries his hand at manipulation and plays the “us against the world” card, leaning on their shared history together – but Willow doesn’t fall for it and Xander remains where he is.

Unfortunately, Buffy and Giles are in the midst of hearing from Doctor Weirick that if the Pack are separated, it’s only a matter of time before they try to find each other again. They come up with a hasty plan: to lure the Pack back to the school, where they’ll all attempt to restage the trans-possession ritual and get the hyena spirts back into the hyenas.

There’s an effective scene when the bullies advance on the library and start softly calling Willow’s name (ah, a chase through the Sunnydale High hallways in the afterhours – another staple of the show in its early years) and Buffy lures the Pack away, acting as bait while Giles and Willow rush back to the zoo to help prepare the ritual.

There’s a lot of backwards and forwarding in this episode, not to mention splitting up. Willow stays outside to wait for Buffy, which conveniently leaves Giles vulnerable when he goes into the enclosure and notices that the ritualistic symbol has already been painted on the floor – and has evidently been there for some time. The zookeeper has been trying to draw the hyena spirits into himself, only he missed one crucial step: a predatory act.

So Giles gets knocked out (not for the first, nor for the last time) and Willow rushes in when she hears Buffy coming, somewhat naively letting herself get tied up by Weirick with a knife held to her throat as “part of the ritual.” But she’s not so dumb that she doesn’t shout a warning to Buffy when she comes in, and in a pretty perfect case of Hoisted by His Own Petard, the zookeeper shouts the incantation, draws the hyena spirits out from the teenagers and into himself, and then drops the knife to attack Willow with his bare teeth.

Xander, now himself again, rushes to her rescue, and after a brief tussle, Buffy throws the zookeeper into the hyena enclosure. As he said earlier, they haven’t been fed.

This is actually rather funny, as in later episodes/seasons Buffy will make a HUGE deal out of how wrong it is to take human lives, but here has no qualms about essentially throwing this guy to his death. She does lunge after him in an attempt to save him, but hey – no biggie that she failed. The hyenas chow down and nobody ever mentions him again.

Also never mentioned again? The bullies and the fact they’ll presumably have memories of killing and eating a man. That’s going to require some serious counselling.

Xander feigns memory loss of the whole ordeal, and if the girls suspect that he’s fibbing, they take pity on him and let it go. Giles isn’t fooled at all, but also promises to keep schtum. For the record, I very much think that apologies are necessary when wrong-doings are committed, but I’m lenient when it comes to matters of brainwashing, outer body experiences, demonic possession, losing one’s soul or exposure to red kryptonite – in other words, things that people aren’t truly responsible for.   

My point is, Xander isn’t himself when he assaults Buffy, and is clearly so mortified at everything he did while under the hyena’s sway that he tries to get himself off the hook with the amnesia fib... so I’ll give him a pass on this particular fabrication, as  ultimately it’s pretty low on his seven-year list of transgressions. He’s way more culpable when it comes to that stupid love spell in season two.

Plus, we get a nice Giles/Xander scene out of it. It’s clear that Giles is now becoming just as fond of Buffy’s friends as he is of Buffy herself.

This was a very simple story and a rather middling Monster of the Week episode, which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t really do anything significant besides kill off Principal Flutie so that Snyder can take his place. The high school/teen drama metaphor was a bit obvious and there was so much padding (the slow-motion prowling, the extended dodgeball game, the completely extraneous scene of the young woman with her baby chancing upon the Pack at night before she just... turns and walks away) but it gave Nicholas Brendon a chance to stretch his acting muscles, and I liked the logistics of the spell (the comparison to demonic possession, the need for a predatory act to take place) and the zookeeper twist.

I feel like it’s a story that knew what it wanted to do, and ends up being precisely what it wanted to be – no more, no less.

Miscellaneous Observations:

This episode vibed with “Teacher’s Pet” not just because it was Xander-centric, but because it’s a story that really could have taken place anywhere (that is, it didn’t need the proximity of the Hellmouth to happen). Unless of course the She-Mantis and the hyenas were deliberately drawn to the mystical energy of the township. Perhaps the zookeeper fully intended to use its power to supplement his ritual, and had the hyenas shipped there on purpose.

RIP Principal Flutie. You were clueless, but not evil – especially when compared to your replacement. And no one deserves to go out like that. Sheesh, I think victims of vampires die quicker and less painfully than Flutie did.

We never see the bullies or Lance again, though I like to believe they all made it to Graduation Day (with the likes of Blayne and Owen) and fought in the battle against the Mayor. Though I have to say Lance was a bit of an odd character. They set him up to be fairly important and then he just disappears halfway through the episode, when his role could have probably been filled by Willow.

I also enjoyed James Stephens as Doctor Weirick. He only had a couple of scenes, but he had an unassuming, helpful manner which effectively concealed his true nature. I remember watching this as a teenager and actually being disappointed that he was evil.

Also, this doesn't come up a lot, but Doctor Weirick is one of the few villains on the show that isn't a demonic or supernatural creature - just a human being trying to accumulate power.

During their research, Buffy mentions that Noah didn’t want the hyenas on the Ark because he considered them an impure blend of cat and dog. This piqued my interest, and some basic Googling tells me this little factoid seems to have come from Sir Walter Raleigh’s 1614 History of the World, where he also mentions that hyenas didn’t need to be on the Ark, since the species could easily be reconstituted after the flood by breeding cats with dogs.

That guy who questions Xander about a guitarist at Sunnydale High (right before the Pack steal his lunch) looked familiar, and sure enough – it was the same guy who talked to Cordelia in the computer lab in “The Harvest.”

Xander’s genuine attraction to Buffy and (somewhat) understandable disappointment that she doesn’t reciprocate once again turns eye-roll-y when he brings up Angel again. And this time it doesn’t even make much sense when he says: “Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your mystery guy.” Um, since when has Angel been mean? Jealousy does not look good on anyone, and it’s these moments where I most strongly hear Joss Whedon’s “why won’t girls date nice guys?” complaining.

However, I did like the fact that Buffy was initially the only one who really felt something was off about Xander. Willow has known him longer, but her lack of self-esteem makes her certain that she’s the problem, while Giles handwaves the whole thing away with testosterone levels. (A part of me wonders if he was recalling his own delinquent youth). But in realizing that it’s something external, Buffy proves that she knows Xander quite well by this point. Or maybe her Slayer-sense is just tingling.

Poor Principal Flutie didn’t get much of an obituary – just Giles looking sombre and Willow sitting down suddenly. Also, they’re going to blame his death on wild dogs? That’s rough. And Giles is almost chipper when the girls point out that Xander wasn’t involved, though I suppose it’s hard to know how on earth people would actually respond to the news that a man has just been eaten alive by highschoolers.

No Angel or Cordelia this time around, which isn’t so surprising in the former’s case since he’s still being credited as a guest star, but the latter is in the opening credits!

As far as audio effects go, I appreciated the high-pitched laughter and the growls in the back of the Pack’s throats. That was very effective.

Best Line: Coach Harrod scores a hat trick: “it's raining, all regular gym classes have been postponed, so you know what that means: dodgeball,” “for those of you that may have forgotten, the rules are as follows: you dodge” and “God, this game is brutal. I love it!” It’s all in the delivery. And as I’ve said before, the Sunnydale faculty must see some shit.

Best Scene: Willow showing her mettle when she faces down Xander in the book cage. There are hidden depths to her, just waiting to be plumbed.

Most Random Scene: When the Pack are out hunting and come across the Anderson family just leaving a party. The parents are arguing about whether or not Mr Anderson insulted his wife by paying his hostess a compliment, and little Joey is being instructed to chew before he swallows. Then they get attacked by hyena people.

We never see this family again, but like the real Miss French in “Teacher’s Pet,” I love seeing little glimpses of ordinary people living out their lives on the Hellmouth.

Death Toll: Herbert the pig (sorry animal lovers, but I’m not going to count him in the grand total). Principal Bob Flutie. Doctor Weirick.

Grand Total: Twelve civilians, ten villains.

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy re-watch: S1 E1 (part 1)

Welcome to the Hellmouth.

I'm using this to write down my thoughts and feelings while re-watching the show. At the end of re-watching a whole season, I plan on doing a review of it. So, here goes the first episode.

-Setting the scene and tone of a show is important, so we begin with an empty school and creepy music, because it's a good way to start.

-How is breaking into a school a good idea? Even if the view from the roof is good.

-Oh, the old bad boy/innocent girl trope? Nah, lets trash that and have the girl be a vampire and kill the unassuming guy as our opening, because this show is all about trashing horror tropes.

-After our opening titles we meet the hero of the show, Buffy, who has prophetic dreams, but while it seems important now, it doesn't get used much in later seasons.

-Setting up our characters we have Xander, Willow and Jesse, three very normal people. One of whom after episode 2 will never be mentioned ever again.

-We get some of Buffy's history and how she came to be in Sunnydale, because she burned down the gym. I mean, that's one way to get kicked out of school. Also, Principal Flutie was just trying to be a good guy, shame what happened to him.

-Xander takes one look at Buffy and immediately has a crush on her. I will have a lot of thoughts about this later as the show progresses.

-Introducing Cordelia Chase, the epitome of high school queen bees.

-In the test that Cordy gives Buffy she mentions James Spader, and Buffy likes him. Look, I've seen a fair few of his films, he's a good actor, and during the 80s and 90s he was hot. I'm guessing the most likely film she has seen of his was Pretty in Pink (he played Steff). As this is set in 1996 the most recent films he would have done would be Crash, based on the J. G. Ballard novel (it's certainly an interesting read if you get the chance to) and 2 Days in the Valley where he starred opposite Charlize Theron. Charlize Theron does get a mention later in the show by Harmony in the season 5 episode Crush.

-Despite the fact that Cordy bullies Willow, they are the only two members of the scoobies to keep in contact after Cordy moves to LA.

-Ahh, the Library an Giles. He's so soft spoken here, but way to scare the new girl you just met. Next time, try working up to the topic of inherited destiny.

-'What kind of name is Buffy?' Well, Aphrodisia... Girl your name is weirder.

I'm going to break these up into parts because I write a lot of notes, averaging 4/5 pages per episode. If anyone does read these then I will try not to make each post too long.

[stephaniespoiler]

Review: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode 1x01: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”

First Buffy review, with the one that started it all.  Note that I’m still experimenting what kind of format I want for these.

Notes: - This episode introduces us to the main cast of Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy), Nicholas Brendon (Xander), Alyson Hannigan (Willow), Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia) and Anthony Stewart Head (Giles). - This episode originally aired alongside “The Harvest” as a two-hour premier (even if the DVD box set has them on different dates).  I’m reviewing them separately for my own convenience.

Summary: After a nightmare, Buffy Summers is begins her first day at Sunnydale High School (transferring after being kicked out of her old school) and meets fellows students Xander, Willow, Jesse, and Cordelia (who humiliates/bullies the others), and librarian Giles, who attempts to give her a book on vampires.  After a man is found dead in a school locker and Buffy sees vampire bite marks (as seen in the episode’s first scene), she confronts Giles (who reveals himself to be her Watcher) and rejects her duties as the Slayer, as it got her kicked out of her old school.  On her way to the club “The Bronze,” Buffy’s confronted by a mysterious stranger who warns her of the “mouth of hell" and “the Harvest” and gives her a cross necklace.  After encouraging Willow to “seize the moment,” and being encouraged by Giles to hone her vampire sensing skills, Buffy realizes Willow is leaving with a vampire and goes after them.  Finding them, alongside Jesse and Darla (the vampire who killed the man in the opening), in a mausoleum, Buffy fights them only to then be subdued by another vampire, Luke, who explains the Harvest is coming to free an ancient vampire “The Master" and allow him to walk the earth again, before moving in to kill her as the episode ends.

My thoughts: For me, a pilot episode needs to explain the premise of the series and established the main character(s), both in a way that makes them engaging.  On that front, “Welcome to the Hellmouth” is an excellent pilot.

The idea of being subversive is built into the show’s premise, with Joss Whedon looking to subvert the horror trope of the blonde girl going into an alley and being killed, instead having her prepared to fight and killing the monster (according to DVD interviews).  Considering that philosophy is basically the show’s DNA, it’s good to be up-front with that, as this show is from the very first scene: A pressuring guy and a hesitant woman break into the school at night, the woman hears a noise, he assures her it’s fine, and then she turns around with her vampire-face and bites him (killing him, as we later learned).  I was caught off-guard when I first watched when I was 15, and it sets up the tone and some of what we can expect well.

You could also say that Buffy thinking someone is following her, so she positions herself to get the jump on him, is another example.

I’m aware that nowadays stuff like “woman fights monsters” isn’t particularly note-worthy or special, but in terms of general pop culture in the 90s I’d say it was.

Even in minor aspects the show offers some subversion of tropes, such as the usual stern, hard-assed principal being replaced by Principal Flutie, who’s nicer and promises she has a fresh start here regardless of her past (though upon seeing she burned down the gym of her old school, he begins taping her record back together, all while still assuring her things are fine.  Always gets a chuckle from me).

The theme song even fits into this, starting with classical organ music like one might expect in some horror before transitioning into rock music.  The theme’s a banger, for the record.

I also believe the episode does a good job introducing most of the core characters.  Buffy is the stand-out here: they immediately establish her conflict of knowing her abilities/calling as the Slayer but not wanting to follow it to avoid ruining her social life, and also a kindness behind her (being uncomfortable with humiliating Willow and befriending her) that forces her to go against her own desires (having to spring into action to help Willow when a vampire has her).  She’s immediately compelling and has this personal conflict, while not being too dragged down by it and still expressing personality through her wit (“I’m going to a club.”  “Will there be boys there?”  “No, mom.  It’s a nun’s club”).

The other main characters seem less interesting at first glance, coming off kind of stereotypical (ie Xander being an awkward geek, Willow a shy nerd, etc).  However, they still have some good lines that make them stand out as at least somewhat likable (Willow saying Buffy can’t legally hang out with her and Cordelia), and their dynamics with Buffy are very well-established right off the bat: Willow impressed by her attitude/outgoingness, Xander being awkwardly into her and shocked over the Slayer stuff, Giles trying to get her to accept her duties and dealing with the generational barrier, etc.  This was the most important thing to establish in a pilot, as later episodes can add more to them, so they did a good job.

The one exception I’d say is Cordelia, who doesn’t even have much dynamic with Buffy yet; she’s just a bitchy bully.  Which is what her character was at this stage, but considering everyone else in the main cast already has clear dynamics with Buffy, Cordelia seems an extraneous addition to the cast just from this episode.

As a side-note, the variety of humor in the dialogue you get among the cast stands out, from Buffy’s general wittiness to Willow’s awkward rambles to Cordelia blurting stuff out (“What is your childhood trauma!?”)

For one final thought from the perspective of having seen the whole show: I noticed Xander was introduced riding a skateboard, which was weird to see since to my memory he’s never shown on a skateboard again in the series.  I know the reason for this is that this was a very hard scene to film (according to the DVD commentary) and they didn’t want to do it again, but in-universe I’m going to headcanon that Xander felt so embarrassed by crashing into a stair rail in front of everyone he decided to give up skating.

Favorite small moment: I love the way Giles smiles and his voice voice slightly raises pitch as he tells Buffy, “I know what you’re looking for” and pulls out the “Vampyr” book.  He’s so excited and it’s adorable.

Overall: For all the out-dated fashion and campiness, “Welcome to the Hellmouth” does everything a pilot episode needs to do, teases the greatness the series would unfold into, and I struggle to think of other pilots that leave me as engaged as this one does.  This is a good episode!

[justsayun]

Wow Low E.

I've learned that we now have a medical condition called "LOW E". Know what it is? Low Energy. Yep, you got no pep in your step? You might have LOW E. My dad would have addressed my Low E with a Kick in the A. I identify Low E as "Big Lazy". Wonder if I could get a medic alert bracelet for when I have a LOW E day. I know from watching celebrities like Doug Flutie on TV many men have LOW T. I asked my wife if she was happy with my "T" Level. I got a double thumbs up.  Why is it that everything these days needs a cool nickname? Let me throw out a couple that you can feel free to use. Let's start with Vegans, which I would like to label "Picky Eaters". Doesn't sound cool, but a picky eater is what you are. We all have a friend who is not an idiot, but always seems to make stupid choices. I'm for giving that individual the label of suffering from (S.C.S.). That stands for Stupid Choice Syndrome. You have that pal who was in the top ten in his graduating class. Was accepted to some major colleges with scholarships but decided to pass on that and open up a Quilting Business out of his parent's garage. Yep, he suffers from Stupid Choice Syndrome. Everything has a new twist to how it's perceived. I see ads for Fertility Clinics.  Wow, people struggling to have a baby. When I grew up the fertility drug of choice was alcohol. I remember my uncle giving an educational chat to us kids during a family gathering about the birds and the bees. The story involved a few beers, birds and bees, and the bird removing its Bra.  (I didn't even know birds wore bras.  I took up the hobby of bird watching for a few weeks after his talk.) Don't hear that style of educational education any longer. I have taken notice of how many celebrity spokespeople are blending their foods. We can now purchase a portable blender to pack with us to make healthy smoothies while on the go. Sorry if this makes me a smoothie snob but if I have a smoothie it must be topped with Reddi-Whip. I don't think I could conveniently carry a blender and can of Reddi-Whip. I have a friend that only eats Free Range Eggs. Quizzed her as to why? What's your deal? Says she only wants to eat eggs from chickens that have been working out. So I asked "So you want eggs from a bird that's been jogging and pumping iron." She said I was making it sound weird, but yeah. No worries I told her. It's a fact that each of us knows one weirdo. You're now mine. She then asked if I had any unusual food quirks. I confessed I am extremely devoted to all the coffee mate Seasonal Flavors.  I've mentioned to my daughters if they have any more girls I'm for naming them Pumpkin Spice or Peppermint Mocha.  

[theultimatefan]

American Cornhole League Kicks-Off SuperHole IV With Ryan Fitzpatrick, Tyler Lockett, Justin Turner and Joc Pederson Live on ESPN

The American Cornhole League (ACL) is thrilled to announce the return of “SuperHole,” presented by Johnsonville - an annual pro-am series of competitive cornhole events that kicks off the Friday before the Big Game and pairs ACL Pros with celebrities to compete LIVE on ESPN in what has become one of TVs “must see events” around Big Game weekend. 

SuperHole IV is a multi-event cornhole series hosted throughout the year where 32 ACL Pros are paired with 32 celebrities to compete for charity – culminating in the finals alongside the ACL World Championships, which take place this August. The first prelim will be held on Friday, February 10 live at 10:30 PM MST / 12:30 AM EST from Scottsdale, Arizona and features a “football vs baseball” theme, with former QB Ryan Fitzpatrick and star WR Tyler Lockett joining current baseball stars Justin Turner and Joc Pederson to square off in everyone’s favorite backyard game under the bright lights.

The ACL will also debut its third annual ACL Pro Shootout Series airing live on ESPN2 immediately following SuperHole IV. The Pro Shootout Series is presented by DIRECTV who joins the ACL family for the first time as the presenting sponsor of the series as well as a supporting sponsor of SuperHole IV’s kickoff broadcast. Representing DIRECTV in Scottsdale will be Tyler Lockett, who will qualify to play for Ronald McDonald House Charities in Rock Hill should he win.

Since launching in 2016 the ACL has become one of the fastest growing sports in the world, attracting broadcast deals with ESPN and CBS / CBS Sports. The league’s tagline “Anyone can play, anyone can win” along with its ability to be played anywhere has the league on a fast track for success.  Along with the “SuperHole”series, the ACL hosts a variety of pro and amateur events. The ACL’s strong sponsor support includes year-long partners Johnsonville, Bush’s and AllCornhole.com, along with individual event sponsors Ultra Cornhole and Reynolds Bags.

The first SuperHole began in 2019 as a one time event where Daniel Jones and Sam Darnold in a “battle of New York” match-up. Since then a multi-event series has taken off with a variety of personalities  participating, including two-time SuperHole champion Doug Flutie, Rashad Jennings, Mac Jones, Devonta Smith, Jay Cutler, Shemar Moore, Phil Hellmuth, David Lim, Dawn Staley, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Dale Moss, Chuck Lidell, Vernon Davis, Zach Miller, Dion Dawkins, Kyle Van Noy, Greg Gaines, Terry Kirby, Brett Young, Jeff Mauro and more.

“We’re excited to continue building on the popularity of SuperHole, which has been a huge success in past years with fans – last year’s model of extending the excitement throughout the season was a resounding hit with our audience, both in person and with those tuning in from home,” said Stacey Moore, Commissioner and Founder of the American Cornhole League. “This year will feature all of the action, celebrities, and competition cornhole fans have come to know and love.” 

“I played in a lot of cities in my career, and one thing was consistent across all of them – cornhole being the game of choice for tailgaters,” added former QB Ryan Fitzpatrick. “While I obviously never had a chance to join them before, I’m excited to show off my bag skills!” 

“I know the fans love this game, it’s perfect for tailgating – you can even pick up cornhole bags with my name and jersey number at our team shop,” remarked star WR Tyler Lockett. “I’m planning on going out there and showing the fans that their favorite players can mix it up on the cornhole boards as well as on the gridiron.” 

“Me and my wife Kourtney love to play cornhole, we even had it at our wedding– it’s actually one of our favorite pastimes,” said all-star 3B Justin Turner. “Hopefully I can go out there and make her proud!”

“When I heard Justin was playing I couldn’t resist the opportunity to go out and compete against him,” added star OF Joc Pederson. “Sure, we’re friends but once the bags and boards are out all that goes out the window!” 

SuperHole IV Matchups on Friday, Feb. 10 at 10:30pm MT  include:

ACL Pro Cheyenne Bubenheim (current Women Singles World Champion) and star WR Tyler Lockett vs

ACL Pro Ryan Smith (5 time ACL Title Winner) and former top QB, Ryan Fitzpatrick

ACL Pro Daymon Dennis (5-time Senior singles World Champion) and All-Star 3B Justin Turner vs

ACL Pro Jimmy McGuffin (current Senior Singles World Champion) and baseball star Joc Pederson

The American Cornhole League hosts competition and tournaments across the amateur, collegiate, and pro ranks with thousands of players taking part every year. For additional information on how to participate visit iplaycornhole.com.

[flutiebear]

Gwaelin hated caves.

Dank, nasty places they were; with slimy walls and stale air, and creatures possessing entirely too many legs to be polite. Some people apparently liked to explore caves for fun, but she couldn't conceive of how; for what enjoyment could be had in squeezing through cramped, half-hewn rock, getting mud on your hem and spiders in your hair? The young princess couldn't even bear to attend the yearly dedication ceremony at Erdrick's Cavern a few leagues north of the palace; and that was a fairly well-groomed warren, with obvious paths clearly marked and free of monsters.

But it was also dark, and she'd had enough of darkness, thank thee very much. With all of Alefgard bathed in eternal gloom, Gwaelin had never felt compelled to go out seeking more of it.

Right now, though, she longed for the relative comforts of Erdrick's Cavern. Anything would be better than this: holed up under the earth, Rubiss-knows-where, with only a ferocious dragon for company; left to await her nuptials to the King of All Monsters.

The Dragonlord.

Apparently he fancied making his dominion over Alefgard politically binding by marrying its future queen—a proposition so ludicrous that Gwaelin should have found it funny, if only she weren't the punchline to the joke.

She'd had been here for weeks—months, maybe? Time had lost all meaning in the dark. She'd tried to keep track of her sleeps on the wall using the heel of her shoe; but either the rock had proved too strong or the shoe too feeble, and the point had snapped like a desiccated twig. Walking was now quite impossible. Not that she was going anywhere any time soon.

A series of vignettes on the journey home to Tantagel. Hero/Gwaelin. Uses the NES script, as needed.

Read more

[coraniaid]

Principal Flutie is, I think it's safe to say, not particularly consequential to the overall plot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Appearing only in the first half of the show's first season and almost entirely outshone by his successor Principal Snyder, his main claim to fame is the grisly manner of his departure: getting eaten alive by a gang of hyena-possessed students. As I write this, there are 26 works on AO3 tagged with this character's name.

Kendra Young is the second ever vampire slayer to appear on the show, Called as a Slayer after Buffy Summers (briefly) dies in the first season finale. Meeting Kendra helps to persuade Buffy that being a Slayer is a part of who she is and not merely a job she can one day escape from; while the existence of multiple Slayers will go on to become an important plot point in the show's third, fourth and seventh seasons. As I write this, there are 199 works on AO3 tagged with this character's name.

Given the above, which of these two characters do you think:

appears in the most episodes?

is mentioned in the most episodes after their death?

was actually given a full name while the show was still airing?

Here's a hint: all three questions have the same answer.

Here's a less subtle hint: it's not Kendra.

Robert ("all the kids are free to call me Bob ... but they don't") Flutie appears in a total of four Season 1 episodes (Welcome to the Hellmouth, The Harvest, Teacher's Pet, The Pack) before he dies, and is then mentioned again in three episodes (Season 1's The Puppet Show and Season 7's Lessons and Beneath You).

Kendra ("I have no last name") Young [who, despite being very clear on the subject when asked, suddenly acquired a last name when she needed one for the Buffy RPG tie-in] appears in a total of three Season 2 episodes (What's My Line? Part 1, What's My Line? Part 2, Becoming Part 1) before she dies, and is then mentioned again in two episodes (Season 2's Becoming Part 2 and Season 3's Faith, Hope & Trick) before never being mentioned again [at least not on the TV show].

You might think it strange that the show's actual focus seems so out of alignment with both fandom interest and what logic suggests should surely be central to its own mythos and world-building and to its major characters emotional arcs. You might think it strange that, after Season 2, Buffy never talks about Kendra again [the one time Kendra's name is spoken in Season 3 comes when Cordelia says it] despite Buffy having found Kendra's body and being falsely accused of her murder. [Fun fact: after Season 2 those same murder charges are mentioned more times than anybody expresses any sadness over Kendra's death, which is never. Oh, sorry, that's not a very fun fact.]

You might think it particularly strange that in Season 7 -- a season where the Slayer Line itself is a key part of the central plot and we meet many new Potential Slayers who Buffy is tasked with training and keeping alive, a season in which the Big Bad has the ability to appear in the form of any dead person she wishes and there are multiple episodes featuring flashbacks to the life of a former Slayer who was killed by one of the Big Bads from Season 2 [albeit flashbacks that involved recasting the original actor despite her interest in continuing to play the part] -- the Buffy writers thought to include two separate callbacks to the unremarkable and (up to this point) unlamented Principal Flutie (who surely only a minority of fans watching would have even remembered?) and exactly none to murdered Vampire Slayer Kendra.

Was a character who appeared in four episodes six years ago really so much more memorable than a character who sppeared in three episodes five years ago? Did Kendra really make so little impression at the time? Was there no reason to think one of the characters might have brought her up at any point? Was there really no room at all in any of this season's scripts to include even a fleeting reference to the very first girl Buffy met, tried to teach how to be a Slayer, and who then died in a way Buffy could blame herself for? Might Kendra's memory not have been slightly more thematically relevant to this season's story than the tedious ongoing sagas of "is Giles the First?" [no], "will the First ever use the hypnotized Spike as a weapon against Buffy?" [no] and "isn't Andrew Wells funny? doesn't he deserve his own spin-off show?" [no]? Is there any reason you can think of that might explain this puzzling creative choice?

Ah well.

Who can say what the writers were thinking? I guess it's just one of those little mysteries that will never be resolved.

[nileqt87]

Notes on the early development of the Buffyverse in regards to the unaired pilot and Witch being the first episode shot

In regards to the acting coach’s perspective on Buffy season 1 (last reviewing Witch): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tt5L6IeHT4

Witch was actually the very first episode shot.

Many new shows will film a few filler episodes first while the actors are still building their chemistry, so that the first episodes aired will be even better. This was absolutely the reason why Witch was filmed prior to Welcome to the Hellmouth and The Harvest. Might be worth noting in terms of green performances and chemistry. The chemistry is great already, though this is luckily a very fatherly episode for Giles, so it's not as jostling as that slightly creepy, personal space-intrusive version in Welcome to the Hellmouth shot later. In Nicholas Brendon's case with his visible waiting for the next line, outside of the unaired pilot, *this* was actually his first episode.

Obviously, this is one of the cases where the pilot was never aired (for good reason--and not just because of replacing Willow and Flutie) and many times those will have scenes redone for airing. Sometimes things are reshot due to replacing an actor, but without reshooting the whole thing. For example, Smallville had a Martha Kent stand-in due to Annette O'Toole being already cast, but only available at a later date.

In Buffy's case, the unaired pilot was obviously a lost cause. They were still working out how to do major SFX staples of the show like the dusting effect (they tried stop motion before settling on dodgy CGI with no skeletons until season 3), as well. Even the makeup changed a bit over the first season from Julie Benz being the original test dummy for The Lost Boys prosthetics, as can be seen by the white/purple makeup being made more flesh tone. It was her first scene that coincidentally changed the least in the rewrite and performance (except for a costume change) from the unaired pilot to Welcome to the Hellmouth. She also was originally meant to die in what became The Harvest's showdown, but was kept for another episode (and then a lot more episodes!) by having her run away (note how often Darla runs away from danger!) from Willow's holy water.

Darla's costume change became the Catholic schoolgirl look (she was just wearing a floral '90s grunge dress before) that got an explanation in 1x07. Darla doesn't know she's trying to jealously scare off a Slayer (she doesn't know until the mausoleum scene) with the dead guy in the gym locker, but she knows Angel is in Sunnydale and has been following a schoolgirl. Darla later mocks Angel for this, but also exposes her insecurity and jealousy, all the way later in Dear Boy on his spinoff. Angel, of course, is Catholic, so that's another pointed jab. A lot of viewers don't even pick up on the Catholic schoolgirl uniform, which was worn prior to Darla knowing Buffy's secret identity, being that meaningful. The other thing viewers don't pick up on in regards to 1x07 is the in-hindsight meaning of Angel having human blood in his fridge after two decades eating rats and how that potentially affected his ability to socialize with humans and why he knew about delivery day at the hospital in The Dark Age, despite Whistler mentioning blood from the butcher. Something as simple as a costume change got a whole character-building backstory in a later episode. That layer of storytelling was absent in the pilot.

For continuity reasons that weren't because of anything being performed badly like Buffy's hair color and the school library becoming a set (Torrance High's spiral library staircase would've clearly become a hazard for Tony Head!), the footage had to all be redone. Buffy had a slightly longer dialog in the library scene, for example, that is actually something of a loss because it goes into more depth about what happened to her in L.A.

Xander's tour of the school isn't strictly necessary for the plot, but was a chemistry-building scene, and perhaps a remnant of Joss Whedon's intent for him to be the every man who wins the fantasy girl who is out of his league, rather than the female protagonist instead winning her unattainable, forbidden fruit fantasy (the male gaze vs. the female gaze).

Whedon was still being talked into having the Angel character at all back then, originally intending for Xander (notoriously known for being Whedon's not-so-nice “nice guy” self-insert) to be the love interest. David Greenwalt, Marcia Shulman and Gail Berman were Angel's biggest cheerleaders and the latter two (rather degradingly described as "puddles of drool") outvoted Whedon during casting. The WB also only agreed to renew the show (they were actually quite disappointed by season 1) if season 2 contained more Angel and the Bangel romance, which was heavily promoted (look at any of the WB's ad campaigns) and brought in the show's highest ratings (the entire show's ratings peaked at Surprise/Innocence).

Not only was Whedon against casting David Boreanaz, comparing him even to the jocks who beat him up in school and talking about how he hated making a spinoff about a white Alpha male lead as a hero, but he was reluctant to have any good vampires at all. Come season 2, Whedon was also pushing James Marsters up against a wall and threatening to fire him because he was getting too popular. Whedon made the remark that Marsters had it easier than him getting laid because of how he looked (that was on Marsters' second day of work well before School Hard ever aired!). Whedon didn't like it when he ended up with a good vampire sex symbol the first time, then ended up with two sympathetic vampire sex symbols on his show.

Coincidentally, both characters weren't meant to stick around and survived intended final death scenes, as well. Angel was never meant to be more than a cryptic messenger for a few episodes (before he became the love interest or a vampire), then wouldn't have come back from hell if it weren't for the spinoff (which the WB wanted--it wasn't just Whedon being finally impressed by Boreanaz's performance as Grace Newman). Spike was originally intended to be killed by the church organ falling on him. Faith was originally going to hang herself after staking Finch.

For that matter, the original villain of season 2 was meant to be the Anointed One (hence the absurd build-up in season 1 that goes nowhere) until it was apparent that Collin’s actor had grown up too much and wasn’t that successful (cue Spike flash-frying him in a cage), with Whedon reluctant to believe Boreanaz could carry the Big Bad role. Angelus arguably turned out to be the Buffyverse’s greatest villain and Buffy’s most personal. The most subtle foreshadowing was undoubtedly the fact that the production didn’t feel the need to hire Mark Metcalf for a silent performance of the Master in When She Was Bad, so it’s actually Boreanaz (look for his wider mouth shape) beneath the Master’s prosthetics. Buffy’s having nightmares of the Master, but it’s really Angel underneath! When She Was Bad also teases what would happen if it came down to a fight between Buffy and Angel.

Whedon's intentions being outvoted so forcefully by other writers, producers, the network and audience is mirrored by the likes of Sera Gamble attempting to villainize and kill off Castiel (whose Little Mermaid-esque arc arguably overshadowed the Winchesters and created an unintended third lead, no matter how much he was nerfed of his powers and left out of Monster of the Week episodes due to him making human hunters irrelevant) on Supernatural, only to fail with a massive audience outcry and was forced out of the show herself. Shows occasionally get away from their creators or showrunners.

Greenwalt had to also create the soul/curse mythology (massively to the franchise's benefit!) to explain how Angel was the first gray-area exception to Whedon’s black & white world-building where vampires and demons are always bad and only there to be allegories for human problems. This is in stark contrast to today's vampire mythologies that are no longer default-evil and mostly about "choosing boyfriends, the movie", whereas the Buffyverse ended up taking most of its vampire archetypes from Anne Rice, despite Whedon absolutely hating "that crap". Ironically, Rice's vampires are all sexually impotent and murderously evil, despite Louis feeling guilty and eating rats in alleys (sound familiar?). Come the spinoff, it wasn't just Angel, but characters like Doyle and Lorne (not to mention Wolfram & Hart's human lawyers) further muddying that original intent. The Buffyverse was straddling two eras of genre fiction in regards to the development of the evil-to-sympathetic/misunderstood-to-good monster.

The pilot definitely felt like it was a better set-up for Xander to not be so easily friend-zoned, but the friend-zoning is complete here in Witch. That one scene here in Witch actually turns out to be a significant one, and it's especially significant in an episode that was shot first and doesn't contain Xander's rival. By the time that Witch was filmed, it appears the writing staff were aware that Xander wasn't going to be the love interest. The next few episodes also are aware of it, even when Angel doesn't or barely appears. Earlier drafts for Never Kill a Boy on the First Date and The Pack didn't have Angel juxtaposed against Owen/Xander (this episode got the heaviest rewrites of all) or the scene of Buffy (wearing Angel's jacket) and Willow discussing Angel in the Bronze + Xander's jealousy under the hyena spell at all.

Only 25 minutes were presented of a full-length pilot script (dated January 1996) that even contained Angel (back when they hadn't even decided he was a vampire yet and you'll notice the bigger Angel episodes were all the last episodes written and shot with scenes dropped into earlier scripts that didn't contain him before) as a mysterious motorcycle guy who stakes a vampire outside of the auditorium showdown. Boreanaz even mentioned shooting the motorcycle scene in the 20th anniversary special that probably confused anyone who hadn't read the unaired pilot script (which is only a minute fraction of the franchise's older diehards who even know where to get a hold of it!)!

Despite Boreanaz being already cast with a cut scene, it is only Mercedes McNab who is in both the unaired pilot (yet not Welcome to the Hellmouth) and Not Fade Away. Boreanaz is the only actor in both Welcome to the Hellmouth and Not Fade Away. He's also in the most episodes by a far margin. Angel is in 167 episodes, with Willow coming in at 147 and Buffy only 146.

[chasingfictions]

@thoughtsofahouseplant tagged me to post some of my wip so

She’s staring into space when she sees Cordy breeze in, that girl — Anya — tailing behind. They’ve been somewhat moderately attached at the hip. Not that Buffy cares. She’s happy, in fact. Like, Cor having a friend, that’s of the good.

Buffy just bets it’s weird. To close out high school and your only friend is someone you just met. Someone who’s only got the newest pieces of you, so you can’t do the reminisce thing, the, oh my God remember that week when Flutie tried to make Bolo ties a thing, or wait what about that time Flutie got literally eaten, or any of that. Or even like—

Your only friend. Buffy knows that feeling. Back in round one of Slayerdom, when everyone dropped her or maybe she dropped anyone, and it was just her and Pike in LA. Or, LA again, no one but her coworkers who were all older than her and she didn’t wanna know them and they didn’t wanna know her and it was just her and that girl, the one with the name like a mushroom that Buffy could probably remember if she thought hard enough.

So, she just wonders if Cordy’s lonely, is all. As she watches her breeze in like she owns the place.

tagging @episode5s @katebaudelaire @marinxttes @summrsbuffy <333

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I rewatched the Angelus vs. Faith fight scene from AtS... and people in the comments are right: they are doing all these crazy jumps and stuff that we never saw on Buffy. Especially from the Slayers. It’s not fair.

What the heck?

Like, you know that the Slayers have this ability, but I feel like the last time you even remotely see it is after Buffy jumps over the gate when Principal Flutie locks her in the school on, like, the second episode of the show?

And then people in the comments were saying that they thought that AtS had more of a budget than Buffy for some reason, and that’s why they were able to do that. I’m not entirely sure about that, because James Marsters may have indicated differently recently? Maybe? But if so, that’s kind of sad.

Even in the comics, like with Angel & Faith, you see Angel and Faith jumping rooftop to rooftop together in some scenes... but I feel like you don’t really see Buffy doing stuff like that in her comics, but my mind just might be blanking on it. Edit: Wait. If nothing else, I remember Buffy jumping from ridiculous heights a lot in her comics.

Edit: It might be that AtS did have more of a budget to do this stuff for some reason, yeah, but because of that it had less money to pay its actor, since so much was going into special effects and stunts? Since James was saying that the actors on Angel made less than the actors on Buffy did, or something like that?

[kill-your-fics]

Musings

~~~~

It was a calm but dark night kept at bay by a large fire, well fed by Willow. The two survivors sat quietly, together but alone with their thoughts.

"Hey, Wils, how do you think being born in the Constant would work?" Willow broke the comfortable silence.

"..You're not... right? You can't be. Right?" Wilson looked over to her in concern.

"No, dork. How could I be?" Willow laughed, high and fluty and free, and the sound calmed Wilson's nerves. Entirely unlike her more devious, maniacal laughter, which suggested something important was burning. No, she seemed content with a barely contained campfire. For now. "No, I was just wondering. Like, you said you think that when we die and come back, the Constant just resets us to the state we were in when we got pulled in. So..... what happens if you lived here your whole life?"

Wilson found himself intrigued by her use of his own reasoning. "That's a good question!" If they couldn't come to a satisfactory conclusion, his mind would be spinning all night over this unsolved problem. Damn it.

"Perhaps, like the other things that are born here... you live by the Constant, you die by the Constant. One chance?" Wilson offered.

Willow wrinkled her nose. "That doesn't seem very nice or very fair. Not that this place is fair... but there's a sort of rhythm to it, ya know? Pig houses bring pigs, you can always catch a rabbit from a rabbit hole. And people get second chances in the Constant." She didn't mean that to be a metaphor, or maybe she did. It felt like one, somewhat.

"I'm not sure that's scientifically sound..." Wilson hmm'd for a moment, knowing Willow didn't care about that. She'd only accept an answer if it suited her. "Well, traditionally, we celebrate birthdays because birth is seen as the start of independent life... if the Constant works on similar rules- and I'm not saying it does- perhaps a child born here would simply... revert to infancy, maybe, in the event of their death and revival."

Willow groaned. "Ughhh... in that case, we're never having kids. Especially if they take after you. Imagine raising the terrible twos every time they decide to 'experiment' with a spider nest."

Her reply struck Wilson as odd. "Willow.... don't you believe we'll get out of here some day?" Perhaps progress on finding a way out was slow, but they were discovering new secrets to the Constant all the time, and surely one of them would be the key to going home...

It was Willow's turn to hum quietly, mulling over her word choice. "I'm not saying we'll never find a way back... but I'm not betting everything on it, ya know?" She drummed her fingers on her knee. "Right here and right now... we're stuck in the Constant... and I've made my peace with it for now. Honestly... I don't think I would mind being here forever... with you... taming this wild place one smelly beefalo at a time." She smiled, clearly trying to bring a bit of levity to the conversation.

Wilson smiled in return despite himself, but his mind was troubled. Here? Forever? And she said it so nonchalantly, like she truly had made her peace with the idea a while ago... Then again, was she entirely wrong? Wilson didn't even begin to know how to weigh his old life alone against the hectic world he found himself in now... but despite the danger, Willow's presence was definitely a positive... he couldn't imagine being happy going back to being a lone hermit huddled in his attic... in fact, all his plans for leaving seemed far less appealing if they didn't include his companion...

"You know, Willow, I think... if it came down to it... I could be happy, even here, taming beefalo, as long as you were beside me." He reached for her hand, to have something solid to grasp with this talk of hypotheticals.

Willow's cheeks blushed lightly, looking doubly warmed by the fire's light, and she looked away. Flattery was not necessarily Wilson's strong point, but his earnest sincerity could be quite compelling. And to be told that, truthfully, your mere presence made a living hell bearable? It was high praise coming from a perpetually grumpy scientist. Willow giggled out of a childish embarrassment.

"Wils, you're a charmer." She looked back at him and tugged his hand to pull him closer, giving him a peck on the cheek.

[crypticsalutations]

Hello my lovelies 🥀 Today we are honored to bring you Part 2 of this special Cryptic Salutations exclusive! Continuing our in depth interview with Jonathan Lemon of Jesus Couldn't Drum, in this section he shares details about the band's equipment set up, the life changing feeling of emerging into the music industry, and the unexpected cult popularity that arose in countries other than their own! We hope you thoroughly enjoy it! 🔥 Track: Jesus Couldn't Drum's Even Roses Have Thorns Stay tuned for Part 3, coming on August 13!

Cryptic Salutations: How many of the singles were originally pressed?

Jonathan Lemon: I believe the minimum amount was 1000 in those days. They would have pressed less if it was possible! They were distributed by The Cartel which was a co-operative group that included some of the most notable labels of the 1980s UK post-punk and indie scene such as Backs, Rough Trade, Red Rhino and Nine Mile. Apparently, they could sell anything.  When we did the free flexidisc for the first album, they made 50k in many different colors and gave them away with ZigZag magazine which went out of business the next issue which was disappointing because famous rock journalist William Shaw had done a long in-depth interview with us which has now been lost to time.  The first album was 3k if I remember correctly.

CS: Do you recall what your equipment set up was? What make of synths, guitars, pedals, etc?  

JL: A Fostex X-15 multitrack tape player, a Roland SH101, a very primitive echo chamber, a couple of used Boss effects pedals, a Gibson copy guitar, a melodica, a Shure SM58 microphone, a Black Box fuzz module, a Sound Master Memory Rhythm SR-88 and a small box filled with various percussion instruments and fluty pipes.  Later we had a Roland TR 808 and a Boss Dr Rhythm DR55 and very importantly an EM-U Emulator 1 sampling keyboard that used to belong to Tears For Fears. It had “TFF” stenciled onto the flight case.  It currently belongs to Fat Boy Slim.

CS: Do you consider your time in Jesus Couldn’t Drum as an exploration of your artistic limits, or was it simply a fun hobby shared between friends?

JL: I think we both couldn’t quite believe the speed of what was happening and consequently we just rolled with it rather than had any expectations or strategy.  Maybe it was pretty small beans to most people but it felt quite life changing to us, and we were suddenly serious young people in important trousers, and people were sniffing around us hoping we’d be the next big thing. There was definite conflict between the band and the label over musical direction.  The label kept telling us to get a big hit before doing more “challenging” stuff. We were more interested in doing something different. “Different” to use just meant not being like any of the other bands we were aware of at the time which was a pretty small pool admittedly. The second JCD album was very self-indulgent but in a way I think it’s also the only one I can really stand to listen to anymore. 

CS: Did you take the single and subsequent EP’s and albums on tour? If so, to where, and what kind of criticisms were you met with? And what compliments?

JL: We didn’t coincide tours with the releases.  We would just go if someone offered to pay us, usually an enthusiastic promoter in Belgium or Germany. We had no oversight really. In England, already at that time there was an expectation that the small bands would PAY to play to get the exposure or if lucky, play for free. Once the records came out there was a lot more interest in our music from(mainland) Europe. Incredibly, we would go off on the ferry in a car packed full of equipment and band members, and there would be a little venue in a small, picturesque town in Switzerland for example, with posters for our gig everywhere and a hall packed with people wanting to see us who knew our songs. There were four of us and a drum machine and mostly we went down well.  I think the set only lasted about 30 minutes. I don’t recall JCD having any bad gigs actually but many of my later bands did. Once in Italy some people threw coins at us.  We were later told that it was a sign of appreciation, but I’m still not convinced. It was all pretty thrilling because none of us had ever really traveled outside of England before. It was all a bit rushed and low budget but we had a lot of fun.

[twelverriver]

director flutie going “ What’s past is past. We’re not interested in what it says on a piece of paper. Even if it says – whoah.” is just so funny to me like he Did Not Expect what he saw sjdjs also the way buffy says i did i really did is so funny to me in a way i can’t explain

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 31 October 1838

6 55

11 10

fine sunny northern-airing bracing morning – F54 ½° at 8 am and breakfast at 8 5 – and off (from St. Vallier, Hotel de la poste and du Sauvage – very comfortable) at 9  except very bad coffee this morning – suspension bridge and river close to the town but the river soon winds away from us a little – vines and mulberries – at 10 5 at St. Rambert poor little town – the morning not clear, and from 9 ¾ or before the valley too wide for beauty tho’ fine rich valley – view for a moment of pretty reach of river just out of St. Rambert at 10 50 pass bridge over canal-like river and pay ./60 toll – at 11 10 Péage de Roussillon, nice little town – several good auberges says my Itinéraire – probable enough – longish ascent just out of the town – fine open valley – vine and mulberries and stony vide Itinéraire ii. m. pp. 304-305 ‘on se trouve dans une plaine semblable à celle de la Crau, quoique les Cailloux qui la couvert soient moins gros’ – about as big as ones’ head, a few larger and a great many less – now at 11 40 like a large common covered with these stones – a little buck wheat, a few potatoes etc. etc. sheep and, a few vines here and there – at 11 55 Auberive good little village – and from here the land cleared of the boulder stone and nice, clean tidy champs of wheat etc.  – at 12 ¾ nice bit of new winding road, a descent but we trot down without drag – pretty broken rounded hills form the valley but left side perpetually wine which makes them look bare (no wood) and monotonous – the monotony of vines spoils the Lausanne side of the Lake of Geneva – at 12 50 the river again now muddy – the bills near right – valley narrow and pretty but vines or corn right – wood wanted for the picture – at 12 55 bits of copse (oak or what?) wood on the hilly right, and little bits on the hills, left and very fine broad reach of river seeming nearly full up to its proper level – at 1 fine semicircular [?] of valley studded with houses and villages and beautiful from here to Vienne, hotel de la table ronde, at 1 23 – engaged a man

Prettiest from Tain to St. Vallier, and next the stage from Auberive to Vienne

to go about with us and A- and I out at 1 55 first to the cloître gotique de St. André-le-Bas – my Itinéraire refers to les chapiteaux – saw nothing very particular in the chapiteaux in the interior – but some grotesque heads and figures on the cornice under the Eaves of the roof of the nave, and some beautiful little Saxon windows looking on to the roof of the aisle – but the interior of this church all painted in fresco – very pretty – perhaps the prettiest specimen of church fresco-painted I have seen – then to the musée – there an hour from 2 ¼ to 3 ¼ - It is the maison Carrée who was (according to A-‘s book guide du Voyageur en France Paris 1838. Firmin Didot frères) the temple dedicated to Augustus and Livia – exterior miserably degradé – the flutiness of the Corinthian columns chiselled off as also parts of the capitals and cornice – no getting round the buildings – little more than ½ of it seen, the rest built up to and into on both sides – on one side (left on entering the musée) the old buildings partly taken down and being replaced with good new ones – Interior one lofty hall containing the musée lapidaire, and all round above a wooden gallery and the library belonging to the hotel de ville, and a lower room behind with a few bits of old cornices etc. etc. and 12 or 13 plaster of Paris models of some of the most celebrated statues – what does the Apollo Belvidere hold in his left hand? like a 6in. long bit of stick cut off even at each end – and what the Venus d’Arles in her left hand? vide p. 79 vide. p. 108 like a spirally a mirror fluted round-ended pretty knife-handle about 5in. long – the Dianes à la biche, too, holds in her left hand which leans on, or has hold of, the head of the biche, - an about 8in. long squary thing                         . and Lucius Venus holds in his right hand a lesser bit of stick, thinner and shorter but round and otherwise like that in the left hand of the Apollo

on entering the musée, left, against the wall, but of large heavy stone cornice (Corinthian?) with a 5 petal-flower and pericarp  with open seed-cells exactly like the lotus at Montpellier vide p. 69 – another flower with as it were six petals not quite opened, and germen opening within it strikes me that all the flowers on Corinthian corcnies are the lotus in one stage or other i.e. at different periods of its growth – Inquire into Acanthus leaves – at the far end of the musée rather to the right (as one looks forwards on entering) there is a Corinthian capital with a fleura lis this springing out of, or at the back of the turn-back of the Acanthus leaf – the egg has reference to the mundane egg – or is the ovary of the lotus   this flower is main spring of ancient architectural ornamen[t]   is the marigold as we call it some corruption of the lotus?

Sceptre, unde derivatur? a constable staff office is a small sceptre not unlike what the venus  a constable staff of office is a small sceptre? not unlike what the Venus d’Arle holds in her hand – the globe and sceptre emblems of power - were they originally the egg the ovary the womb and phallus?   the egg the yoni or female organ of generation of which the lotus is the emblem   why does the triangle represent the female organ?

Tau T was the emblem of Hermes   does this represent the phallus  issuing from the tow testicles represented by the transverse beam?

the 2 little boys the one holding a dove in his hand the other biting his arm to make him give up the dove – is a very beautiful little group – from a piece of mosaic there, see that this sort of pavement was set in a cement or plaster floor about 5in. thick – from the musée to the cathedral – the ground and 2 little portails west end rich gothic sculpture – the interior large, well-proportioned simple, clean – very striking – one of the finest cathedral interiors in France or that I have seen – have and 2 side aisles – 3 or 4 side chapels not frippery enough to spoil the beautiful simplicity of the church – 8 arches of nef – then 3 of raised choir – then 2 sham arches of chancel in one apse lighted by large window in the middle (at the back of the apse) – a gallery behind saxon arcades all round the church

SH:7/ML/E/22/0055

from the cathedral to the suspension bridge – went to the middle of it – fine views up and down the river – only 1 pilier remaining of the old bridge attributed to the Romans – then to the remain of the theatre little left and that little [bird] in [?] building – then walked up in vain to the old fort Pipet? all vineyard and locked up – made the best of our way down again (but fine views now and then rewarded us) passed by the college, and up to the old castle – locked out again – but amply recompensed by the view – quite charming – the Rhone majesty winding the finely rounded viny hills – alas! not clear enough to see the distant mountains till as we saw the sun dip beneath the horizon his parting rays of gold just lighted up the distant peaky summits for a moment – walked along the quays and returned by the narrow dirty streets – hardly a decent street in the ville? the arcaded place de l’hotel de ville would be handsome in such a little village as Lourde but is mesquin for what ones’ ideas would have Vienne to be – It is in fact a dirty-looking ill built town – our hotel disappointed us – a dirty house, and dirty looking people – we talked of breakfasting at Lyons – but dinner came (home at 5 ¼ - wrote journal) – dinner at 6 – excellent little dinner everything good – soup – fricasseed chicken, fish, fricandeau de veau, filet de bœuf piqué navets au jus – pommes de terre frites – stewed pears – crèmes – cheese very good – green grapes better than since Nimes – good – biscuits and bonbons and apples – the latter we never eat – this changing our intention, and we breakfast at 8 am tomorrow – and mean to be off at 9 – A- in a little room opening into my large one (we always eat in mine when no salon) she went to bed at 9 – I sat writing and had finished today now at 9 55 – finish – but dull day and cold sharpish air – F53 ½° now at 9 55 pm – then till 10 ¼ wrote as follows Mrs. Lister hopes to be in Paris on Tuesday the 6th of next month, and will be obliged to Mr. Caillet to have ready for her on that day an apartment (1er 2nde, or, if it cannot be avoided, 3me) looking into the Rue de Rivoli, and consisting of anteroom, salon and two good bedrooms, and a small room if possible for the femme de chambre, and a room for the manservant in the apartment, or elsewhere in the house – Mrs. Lister will take the apartment for a fortnight from the 6th of next month inclusive. Vienne. Wednesday 31 October 1838. directed ‘Monsieur Caillet, Hotel Meurice, à Paris’

[flutiebear]

Six Sentence Sunday

Luminerik, Mardi Gras AU. Terran is a dancer in the Soldiers of Smile, marching in a Mardi Gras parade. Erik spots him in the crowd. Sparks fly. This is nonsense, and I apologize for nothing.

(it’s also a lot more than six sentences but I figured y’all wouldn’t mind)

(also sorry for the second person present. I tried to move away from it, but turns out I can’t write this asshole without getting all up in his business apparently but again I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING)

And that's when you see him: A vision in velvet and feathers, with broad shoulders and jaunty hips and hair as sleek as the silk on his thighs. Like the other Soldiers of Smile, he's wearing a doublet and tights, but whereas the rest of the marchers wear green and scarlet, he wears royal purple—the color of princes. Of kings.

He spots you, too.

For a split second, he loses the beat.

A heartbeat later, he finds it again. And now he is shaking his quite literal tail feathers, a collection of massive lavender plumes fanning out from his backside, none of which could have come from any real member of the animal kingdom, not unless ostriches now come 50 feet tall.

It's ridiculous. He's ridiculous. This whole damn holiday is ridiculous, and you love it; you have never loved anything more.

The dancer twirls closer, showing off a devastating pirouette and even more devastating backside, and your heart skitters against your ribcage like it might escape. He reminds you of the dolphins that sometimes strafe your Catalina at sunrise and sunset; how they leap and gambol so freely, with nothing tying them down and nothing holding them back—the way you've always wanted to, but never could.

Throwing his hands into the air, he grapevines toward you. Over his face is a mask in the shape of a butterfly. You wonder what he looks underneath. Hideous, probably. At least, you hope so. No one person should be this beautiful, this luminous.

Suddenly, you realize he's not just dancing toward you, but that he's actually coming toward you. But it's too late for you to flee. He's right in front of you.

Your breath catches in your throat.

He leans toward you, close enough that you can see the ocean-blue eyes twinkling behind the porcelain mask. For a brief, wild moment, you think he is going to kiss you. But that would be ridiculous, too. So ridiculous, in fact, that you can't move, you can't breathe, for how ridiculous the thought is.

While you stand there, dumbstruck, still as a statue, he slides a strand of beads around your neck. His fingers linger on your throat for the barest fraction of a second, skimming along the necklace that Mia made you when she was six.

That slight touch is a bolt of lightning.

Catching your eye, he gives you a meaningful look, one that shoots down your spine and ignites your heart, and just like that, you know the answer to every question you've never asked; you know precisely who you were meant to be; you know you would lay down your life for this complete stranger; and just when you think he'll ask you to, just when you think you will—gladly—follow wherever he leads you—  

—he winks.

Then he is gone.

The parade marches on. The beat marches on, and on, and on. But you—you are forever changed.

You have no idea who that guy was.

But you will.